#i literally posted this a minute ago idk where it went so sorry if i post this twice

[starrytrees]

mabel, tome and ekubo !!

[maxidentscene]

anger management

⚘ genre. fluff, angst but not hella heavy idk i tried to make it pretty lighthearted

⚘ members. ot8

⚘ synopsis. post argument with bf!skz

chan checks on you even if you’re ignoring him

It had been a few days since the two of you went at it, you honestly couldn’t even remember what the argument was about. Everyone was just aware that the both of you were strictly not on talking terms, no questions asked

Truthfully, you missed him. Missed his dimples, missed his squeaky laugh, missed how his scent was so strong and comforting when you hugged him close. Fighting was so overrated but you couldn’t even find it in yourself to speak first

That’s why your heart leaped out of your throat the second you saw his name in your notifications. He had been the first to bite, swallowing his pride and asking if you needed any essentials while he was out shopping. You felt fragile, teary eyed as you typed the fastest you’ve ever typed in your entire life, letting him know that all you really needed was his presence

You stood in the doorway when he knocked, embracing each other and relaxing into each others arms. “We aren’t ever doing this again,” you sniffled against his shirt, that little giggle you’ve missed painting a smile onto your face. “Got it?”

“Yes!” He cried out with a laugh, jumping and flinching away from you as you pinched his side playfully. “I got it! Stop it!”

lee know takes you out as an apology

Here you were, laying face down on your bed, cheeks burning hot and shoved into your plushy pillows. Just minutes ago, you’d been scolding Minho quite angrily for a stupid reason, so worked up that you slammed the bedroom door in his face without second thought

Naturally, guilt had washed over your entire being almost immediately and you were currently planning out an apology in your head. Maybe a massage, maybe run him a relaxing bath and wash his hair for him, pay for the cat’s monthly supply of litter

Soft taps of knuckles against the door startled you. “Get dressed,” Minho’s voice chimed behind the wood, and you did as you were told, wiping your wet face and tugging a clean top over your head. It was the least you could do after your outburst

“Where are we going?” You asked gently as he took your hand in his, nose stuffed up and congested with all of the aggressive crying you did. He spared you a glance, sending a small smile your way before leading you to the uber he had called up

“Dinner,” he placed his hand on your head, soothingly patting you the same he would do to his cats. You melted in his touch, your mind and body both defeated. “I think I have a few things to fix between us.”

changbin can never stay mad at you

Teasing was an everyday thing with you and the boys, always constantly throwing friendly jabs at each other for being bad at a game or folding laundry a weird way. Today’s target was Changbin, and not knowing he was already in a bit of a sensitive mood, you had taken it too far on accident

He had left the room in a hurry, storming down the hallway and locking himself in his room as you sat on the couch, dumbfounded. “Look what you did,” Chan jokingly shook his head in disapproval before patting your back. “Luckily it would kill him to be mad at you. Go give him some love and say you’re sorry.”

Taking Chan’s advice, you hurried to Bin’s room and swallowed a lump in your throat as you knocked. “Answer me,” you whined from the other side, heart feeling a bit lighter as he opened the door with a small pout on his lips, the heated blush on his skin slowly calming down. “I’m sorry,” you coo and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. “I didn’t mean it.”

You could faintly hear Chan’s laugh in the living room and it made you giggle too because he was totally right, Changbin quite literally became putty in your hands and enveloped you in a strong hug. “You aren’t funny,” he sighs into your shoulder. “Literally so not funny.”

“Yes, yes,” you sighed before giving his ass a light smack. “I know.”

hyunjin gets extra clingy once all is well

Clingy is an understatement. Hyunjin has not let you go ever since you entered the dorm, and that was an hour ago. He’s got his head in your lap, snuggled against your stomach and humming at the feeling of your fingers in his hair. “You’re done being mad at me, right?”

You furrow your brows and tug at his light strands just a bit, earning a soft smack on your arm. “You were mad at me too, don’t act like I was the bad guy here.”

He giggled at your stern voice before completely wrapping his arms around your torso, cheek squished against your arm as he stared up at you. His eyes were hard to read sometimes, so deep in thought you weren’t sure what he was feeling. They flickered with an emotion that you couldn’t pick apart and you sighed, hoping he wasn’t about to cry

“I really am sorry,” he murmurs, twisting his head a bit to kiss the skin of your arm closest to him. “I hate fighting. Didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Your sweet boy. His heart was too big for his body, you could feel the slight tremble of his body against yours and you could only give him a smile. “I know, Hyune,” you flicked his forehead before leaning down to plant a kiss on it. “You never mean to make me upset, I know that. I’m sorry, too.”

han isolates until you offer some sweets

“Where is he?” you sigh sadly, arms aching as the plastic bags you carried were starting to weigh them down. Hyunjin jumped up to take them from your arms, setting them on the counter and shooting you a sorry look. He must’ve heard the yelling last night, it would’ve been hard to miss, honestly

“He’s holed up in his room,” Hyunjin pointed a finger towards his room before rummaging through the bags. “Oh, you’ll win him back with all of this, that’s for sure,” He clapped excitedly before sneaking a bag of gummies and running off to his room. “Good luck!”

Picking up the bags again, you mentally prepared yourself. The fight was normal, couples argue from time to time of course, but seeing Jisung so defeated would break anyone’s heart. You used that as motivation to burst through the door, not surprised to find a curled up lump under the comforter

You leaped up and splayed yourself over his body, hugging him over the blankets and letting your presence be known before standing up to spill the snacks out of the grocery bags. A fluffy brown head of hair peeked out to witness the mess, eyes brightening up at the sight of all of the treats

“Forgive me?” You asked with your arms wide open, delighted to be scooped up just seconds later and tugged under his covers

felix is heartbroken and the members are begging for forgiveness

Days have passed since the two of you got into a disagreement, mutually deciding that time apart was best. Of course it wasn’t much of their business, but the boys at the dorm felt almost as if they were apart of the disagreement as well when they saw Felix. It was hard to watch, their usual bundle of joy and love slumping around in his pajama pants

Your phone rang as you were on your way to pick something up and you were shocked to see Seungmin calling you up. As soon as you accepted the call, pleas from all 3 of the cuties dorm residents were in your ear, whining and begging you to come back

“I’ve never seen him so upset,” Jeongin cried out jokingly, you could picture him clutching at his chest and falling to the floor. “It’s been days, don’t you miss us too? This family is falling apart! Get over here!”

These boys. You let out a drawn out sigh into the receiver before accepting their invite, turning on your heels and walking over to the dorm. You admittedly had missed Felix, the argument was petty and it felt like it was so long ago that it didn’t even matter anymore

Arms wrapped around you the second you step foot into the building, soft hands massaging the back of your neck and you melted instantly into the familiar touch. “You’re too sweet for your own good,” you laughed into his shoulder, watching the other three members giving you thumbs up in the kitchen

seungmin will not tolerate the silent treatment

To be clear, if it were a more serious situation, Seungmin’s approach would be a lot different than this but the topic at hand that made you annoyed was the fact that he accidentally lost you in the mall. It had been a busier day and he swore that you were just at his side as he was looking at shoes but suddenly, you were gone

He found you sitting on a bench outside of a store, pouting to yourself after you had tried to find him for several minutes. He hadn’t answered his phone so you just decided to let him find you himself

When he did, he laughed harder than he ever has before, eyes squeezed shut as he wrapped a lanky arm around your shoulder. “You gotta understand!” He held your face in his hands as you pretended to be mad, turning your face away. “I seriously thought you were right beside me!”

Fake glares were shot his way and you decided to just stay quiet, getting up and taking his hand to lead him to the food court. “This never works on me and you know that,” he whined before pulling out his wallet. “I’ll get you whatever you want, but you can’t stay silent on me.”

“Learn to answer your phone when it rings, Kim Seungmin,” you grumbled as you pulled him into the line of the ice cream place. “I want two scoops this time.”

jeongin doesn’t have the heart to shut you out completely

Honestly, it was your first argument as a couple and he really just did not know how to handle it. Usually he just needs to have time to himself to calm down, but he can’t sit here comfortably without you. God, when had he become so cringe?

Just looking around in his phone and room were constant reminders of you. You were everywhere, his space had became your space as well

There were the pictures, the old texts that you two sent when you were planning your most recent date, the videos that you had taken on his phone while he was getting hair and makeup done. He could see the sleeve of one of your favorite hoodies poking out of his closet and the gum wrapper you forgot to trash was sitting on his desk

Defeat. This was utter defeat. Jeongin picked up his phone, fingers quick to find your contact and ring you up, letting out a breath once you answered. “Come over,” he let out a small laugh, unsure if he’s doing this right. “I know I literally told you that I wanted space minutes ago but that was enough.”

You bit back a smile on the other side of the phone, heart pounding in your chest at how cute he was. It would really probably destroy Jeongin to be mad at you

[lainiespicewrites]

A lesson in flirting

Hi friends! This one had been sitting in my unfinished stories for a while. I love a good Henry fic It's another OFC because I can't seem to get off the "Self-insert" thing rn! LOL but you guys seem to love these stories and writing myself as a main character just gives me this air of confidence...Idk lmao... anyway enjoy! Also maybe doing this is part of kinktober?? Idk I’m not really following a prompt list buuut this kind goes with size kink??? Idk? I just wanna post more!

Plot: In which Alayna and her friends are at a bar, she's trying to explain to her friends that flirting is easy. until she sees Henry and her friends tell her to put her money where her mouth is.

Warnings: Smut Like just so much smut. Dirty talk, Oral (male and female receiving), P in V smut, creampie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “No, I mean it! It’s so easy! Men aren’t THAT complicated.” I exclaimed. Hayley shook her head at me. I laughed and downed the rest of my drink.

“You are so boy crazy,” She laughed, “If it’s so easy prove it!” she smirked. Shit, I’d been drinking and lord knows I’m not one to back down from a challenge. I looked over at Skyler who had the same look on her face. 

“Come on Alayna, you look so good tonight! Don’t waste it! You’ve been eyeing that guy by the bar for the last 5 minutes. Go for it!” She urged. I really stuck my foot in my mouth here. I’d been telling them about a time I went out a few months ago and decided I wanted to kiss this guy and just … made it happen. I may have been a little overconfident. I looked over again at the guy they were talking about. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was at least 6’1 with beautiful dark curls and one of the sweetest smiles I’d ever seen. 

“I-I don’t know, I’m all talk,” I said immediately going back on my previous statement. “This guy is way out of my league.”I sighed. 

“No he isn’t!,” Skyler said quickly, “You’re literally so hot! He’d be stupid not to be into you.” Hayley nodded. 

“She’s right dude! Prove yourself right! Go talk to him.” I took one look back at him. Well hopefully if this doesn’t work out I don’t make myself look like an idiot. 

“Alright,” I paused looking at the girls. “Commencing phase one.” I joked.

“Jesus,” Hayley shook her head and Skyler just laughed. 

“Yes! Go get your man!” She cheered me on. Okay, Phase one. Luckily this would be easy. The bartender Nick was already down at his end of the bar so it was the perfect excuse to “Bump into him” and squeeze my way up to the bar to order another drink. It helps that it’s a little crowded too. I pushed past a group of country boys standing around holding their Busch lights. The kind that rolls into the bar in tattered jeans they’ve been working in all day and dirty old work boots. Definitely not my first choice. I shake the thought out of my head starting to get nervous as I approach him. His back is toward me now. I walked up next to him at the counter, my shoulder brushing against him. 

“I’m so sorry!” I blushed. He turned to look at me and smiled. 

“That’s perfectly okay! It's a bit crowded here tonight huh?” he asked, chuckling softly.  Sweet baby Jesus, he’s British! I nodded. Nick was still with another customer so I took the opportunity to make light conversation. 

“Whatcha drinking?” I asked. He fully turned to face me.  Beer bottle in hand. 

“Guinness has always been my favorite.” He said, taking a sip. “Are you a beer drinker?” he asked. I shook my head. 

“Not unless I'm already drunk, or it's in an Irish car bomb.” I joked. He laughed and raised an eyebrow.

“An Irish car bomb? Wouldn’t have assumed that’d be your drink of choice.” He smirked.

“Oh, it’s not! but my brother took me out for my 21st with his friends, they’re like my brothers. Anyway, I did a full “bombs away” Not sure if you’ve heard of that?” I raised an eyebrow. He chuckled, nodding. 

“I do, That had to be a rough time!” 

“It was certainly rough the next day!” The bartender was finally ready so I made eye contact with him to signal I wanted to order. 

“What's up?” he asked. 

“Hey, can I get another Rum and Coke please?” He nodded and walked away to get it started. Nick was a man of little words. I appreciated that about him. 

“Not a bad choice,” I heard the guy say. I laughed

“It’s been my drink of choice since my friend and I started stealing “captain” out of her parent's liquor cabinet senior year.” He chuckled softly. Just then Nick came back with my drink. I smiled and thanked him again. He just nodded. I turned back to the mystery guy and smiled. “Well, it was nice talking to you!” I said. 

“You too! Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.” He said. 

“Alayna!” I said quickly. 

“Alayna,” He repeated and smiled. “I’m Henry,” 

“Nice to meet you, Henry!” I said and started to walk away. 

“Nice to meet you, Alayna!” He called after me. I walked back to the girls' new drink in hand and a spring in my step. I smirked sitting back down in between them. 

“Oh my god how’d it go?!” Skyler asked immediately. 

“So he’s fucking British!” I stated. 

“You’re kidding!” Hayley added. I shook my head. 

“Dead ass! His name is Henry, and that’s about all I know! Except he’s even more beautiful up close!” I tried so hard not to squeal. Having a crush was thrilling and fun even if it went nowhere.

“Okay not to get your hopes up but he’s definitely looking this way!” Skyler said. I brought my drink to my lips took a long sip and let my eyes fall in his direction. He was and he was smiling. Before I could catch his eye his attention was brought back to his friend as they continued their conversation. 

“I told you.” I shrugged. Hayley shook her head.

“That doesn’t prove anything buddy, maybe he just thought you were nice,” she stated. Skyler laughed

“He was absolutely staring at her ass as she walked away but okay yeah he just thought she was nice.” She said, I was blushing and trying so desperately to act cool but I knew it wasn’t coming out that way. I took a long pull of my drink and sighed.  

“This is gonna be a high school crush situation all over again if I can’t hold it together. God, he’s so beautiful up close though. I really don’t know how I managed that conversation, let alone blatant flirting.” I shook my head and changed the subject. Asking the girls about work. I had neither of them fooled but they let me change the subject.

 “It’s going okay but I certainly could use a vacation,” Hayley said. I laughed 

“Says the girl who was in Hawaii 3 months ago!” I rolled my eyes. 

“Yeah, and you left us here!” Skyler argued. Hayley retorted with something sarcastic but I didn’t hear her. Henry was walking in our direction and I immediately caught his eye. He smiled when he saw me slowing down as he was walking past. 

“Hey! Are you having a good night?” He asked. I nodded and gave him a big smile.

“I’m having a great night! Just out with the girls. And you?” He quickly glanced over at them and smiled softly. 

“That’s awesome,” He turned his attention back to me and it was a bit dark but I’m almost positive he gave me a once over. “And I’m good! Great now, just a little buzzed and headed to the toilet,” He chuckled. 

“Well don’t let me keep you!” I laughed. I watched as he smirked slightly, looking me over again. He gave me a quick wink.

 “I’ll see you later, love,” He spoke and then walked away toward the restrooms. As he walked away I heard Skyler trying to hold back a squeal. 

“He was absolutely flirting with you!” She smiled. Even Hayley agreed. 

“Dude it’s like we weren’t even here,” She said. I smiled.

“Yeah, I noticed that. But he does seem really sweet! I’m gonna let him make the next move though.” All of a sudden feeling a rush of energy I downed the rest of my drink.  “Fuck it let's go dance!” I said standing up and pulling both of them up with me. I heard Hayley start to complain that she can’t dance so I took her hand and spun her. “Just move! Everyone’s drunk anyway. No one cares! Let loose!” I said. Skyler grabbed my hand and spun me and then jokingly twerked on me. We were laughing and genuinely having a good time. 

This is what we came out for tonight. Just to have fun and be carefree. The song switched to some early 2000s girl group. The kind that makes you feel invincible. The girls and I were still dancing. I spun around and almost ran directly into Henry. 

“I’m so sorry!” I giggled. Clearly more a little more buzzed now. Henry smirked. 

“No need to apologize darling. You’re having fun!” He chuckled. 

“I am!” I exclaimed. “You should dance with me!” He smiled but raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m not much of a dancer, Love,” He said. I pouted. 

“Please? It’ll be fun!” I begged. He chuckled. 

“Of course, I will, for you!” He smiled. I let out an excited squeak causing him to laugh. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a slightly less crowded area of the makeshift dance floor. I turned around and pressed my back to his chest. Immediately his hands found my hips. I slowly started to move my hips against him and looked back giving him a cheeky smile. 

“Told you I’d make it fun!” I said. He smirked and licked his lips slowly.

“I never doubted that,” He spoke. He slowly started moving his hands up my sides. I bit my lip. I loved the feeling of his hands on my body. I felt my shirt rise a little as his fingers moved over the hem of the crop top. Then I felt his fingertips against my neck as he brushed my hair back off my shoulder. I pressed against him, grinding on him to the music. His breath was hot against my neck. “Enjoying yourself, love?”  He spoke his voice low and gravely. I knew he wanted to make a move. I could feel him against me. But He was trying to be respectful.  Or as respectful as he could with my ass pressed to him. 

“Mmhmm, but I’d be having more fun if you’d kiss me.” I started trying so hard to play cool. My heart was racing and the anticipation felt like electricity coursing through me. He moved his hands back down squeezing my hips before he turned me around to face him. He was smiling. God, he was such a beautiful man.  He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “You have the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen by the way.” I blushed, losing my nerve now that I was looking him in the eye. 

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” He said back. I blushed. 

“That can’t be true, you’re like, insanely hot!” I blurted out. He chuckled, tightening his grip on my hip and pulling me flush against him. My hands were on his chest. Fuck he was solid. We were so close. I was even more nervous now that I had the chance to really look at him. He was wearing a plaid button-up with the top 3 buttons undone and revealing a patch of chest hair. His shoulders were broad and strong. I felt small in his arms. The way he was looking at me I felt like I’d have fallen over if he hadn’t been holding me up.

“Yeah, and you’re absolutely gorgeous,” He stated. He caressed my cheek softly before leaning in and kissing me. I immediately kissed him back. I moved so my arms were wrapped around his shoulders and tangled my fingers in his hair. He groaned softly, walking me backward until my back was pressed against the wall. He kissed me roughly and as he pulled away he caught my bottom lip between his teeth biting down softly before pressing one last gentle kiss to my lips. He looked down at me hungrily. “I wanna take you home with me.” He growled in my ear before he started kissing my neck.

“I’m sure the girls won’t miss me,” I smirked. He stopped peppering kisses along my jaw and looked me in the eyes. 

“Is that a yes, love?” He raised an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on his face. 

“If I don’t go with you, you’re coming home with me! I don’t wanna miss out on you!” I said. And maybe it was a little eager but I meant it. There was no way I was walking away from him now. “Give me like two seconds to let my friends know so they aren’t panicking though!” I said. He gave me a soft smile and kissed my cheek. 

“Of course darling,” I walked over to where the girls were still dancing not far from me. No doubt they’d seen our spur-of-the-moment makeout session. I didn’t care. 

“Hey so um…” I started. 

“You Whore,” Hayley stated before I could say anything. I just laughed. 

“You know it!” I joked back. 

“Just make sure you use protection! I mean it!” Skyler said. “And I want details!!” She added. I laughed. 

“Okay well, I’m gonna go then … you guys get home safe!”

 After a quick goodbye, I turned around and found Henry at the bar closing his tab. He smiled when he saw me and pulled me to his side. 

“Are you ready to get out of here?” He asked. I nodded. He kept his arm around me as we walked out. He led us to his car, opening the door for me. He got in started the car and paused. “My place or yours?” He asked nonchalantly. 

“Yours, one of the girls lives right down the hall and I don’t need her keeping an eye on me.” I chuckled. 

“It’s sweet that she checks in though. Do you live alone?” He asked. 

“Well hold on, how do I know if I tell you that you aren’t gonna stalk me and murder me?” I raised an eyebrow. 

“Because you’re already in my car and if I wanted to kill you I could just do it now.” He paused for a second and chuckled. “I’m not a murderer, I promise. Besides if I killed you I couldn’t take you on a proper date after all this. That wouldn’t be very chivalrous, and to be honest I just know I wanna see you again.” I was blushing. 

“Okay, you make a good argument,” I said. “I wanna see you again too. And we haven’t fucked yet.” I immediately squeezed my eyes shut. I can’t believe I said that. And I was too nervous to see the look on his face. I felt him put his hand on my thigh. I slowly looked over at him. He was smirking. 

“Oh, but we will.” He stated. He looked over at me letting his eyes roam over my body quickly before he focused back on the road. 

Fuck. He’s so hot, this man is about to ruin all other men for me. I heard him chuckle. “Doing okay over there love?” He squeezed my thigh and let his hand wander further up. I bit my lip and nodded. 

“Y-yeah, having the best time right now!” fucking idiot. 

“It’ll be even better in a few minutes. You’re so sexy. Do you have any idea what you were doing to me back there?” It was my turn to smirk. 

“I’ve got a pretty good idea. Pretty sure I could feel it!” I teased. He playfully smacked my thigh. God this was gonna be a good night. 

“Not sure how you could miss it with your ass pressed against me like that.”  I just laughed.

“I didn’t hear you complaining!” I said and laced my fingers with his hand that was resting on my thigh. 

“I wasn’t,” he smiled, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles. He let go of my hand as he turned into his driveway and put the car in park. He waited for me in front of the car and took my hand again leading me up to his house. He quickly unlocked the door and I followed him inside.

 He flipped on a light in the entryway so we could see where we were going. Then he turned back to me grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. I initiated the kiss wrapping my arms around his shoulder and tangling my fingers in his curls pulling him down to me. It was a very needy kiss. Pressing my lips to his and letting him suck my bottom lip between his. He backed me into the wall and started to kiss my neck. “Fuck your such a naughty girl, what am I gonna do with you?” He asked and then scraped his teeth across my neck. I moaned and tugged at his curls. He growled against my neck, soothing it with soft kisses. His touch was sending shockwaves through my body. I needed more of him. I ran my hands down his shoulders and over his chest. I brushed my hand over his cock, he was already getting hard. I teasingly squeezed him over his jeans. “Mmm” he moaned softly pulling away from his assault on my neck to watch me tease him.

I continued to explore his body, slipping my hands under his shirt and letting my fingers brush across his abs. I bit my lip when I felt him tense under my fingertips. He chuckled and stepped back pulling off his shirt, a proud smirk on his face. He was incredibly muscular. His chest was solid and broad. He was hairy which I had to admit was a serious turn-on. I hadn’t realized it until now. His stomach was hard and defined. It’s like he was carved out of stone. His happy trail matching his chest hair. He had to be incredibly strong. The muscles in his arms were large. He towered over me making me feel small. But his face was so soft and kind and gentle. His eyes were crystal blue and so inviting. He had such a warm smile. God I was mesmerized by this man.  His voice broke me out of my trance. 

“Come here Darling,” he said, pulling me to him again. He pulled at the bottom of my top and leaned in pressing a sweet slow kiss to my lips. “Take this off for me?” He asked. I bit my lip 

“mmhmm” I mumbled, taking a step back to take off my top. I dropped it to the floor and looked up at him. His eyes were focused on my chest. 

“Fuck” he whispered and licked his lips. His eyes flicked back up to mine. “I could tell you had big tits but, wow” he whistled jokingly and I rolled my eyes and laughed. 

“Omg shut up! Says the guy literally built like a Greek God!” Now he was laughing. I stood on my toes kissing him again. I reached my hand between us rubbing over his jeans. He growled against my lips.

“Mm slow down baby, we’ve got all night.” He led me to his couch and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him.  Trust me Im gonna fuck you tonight darling, I’m definitely gonna fuck you.” He started kissing my neck down to my chest and he kissed the top of my breasts. Then he pulled my bra down and took my nipple in his mouth. I moaned, arching into him and he wrapped his arm around my back holding me to him. 

“But you’re going to make me beg first,” I teased, biting my lip. He hummed around my breast smirking before biting down and dragging my nipple between his teeth. I gasped and ran my fingers through his hair. 

“I love hearing the sounds you make for me,” He moaned as he gave the other breast the same attention. He was driving me crazy. I whimpered softly grinding my hips feeling into his. Trying to get some friction against his now fully hard cock in his jeans. 

“Please Henry,” I moaned.  as he finally unhooked my bra and tossed it aside. He dug his fingers into my hips keeping me still. I couldn’t help the whine that escaped me.

He kissed back up my chest leaving a chaste little kiss on my lips. Fuck he was such a tease. 

“God you’re desperate for it, aren’t you love,” He smirked. “Why don’t you show me how bad you want it,” He nodded toward the floor and I knew exactly what he meant. I slid off his lap and onto my knees in front of him. He stood from the couch and pulled himself from his jeans. Fuck he was big, and already so hard. There was a bead of precum glistening from the tip. If he wanted to tease two could play that game. 

I leaned forward and licked the head of his cock smiling up at him sweetly. 

“Mm don’t stop now love, we're just getting started.” He moaned cock twitching in his hand as the other hand brushed the hair out of my face and rested on the back of my head. 

“You’re just so big, not sure I can handle all of you,” I teased. He chuckled softly running his thumb over my bottom lip. 

“You’ve been talking big talk all night baby, I’m sure you can make it fit,” He winked. I blushed but let him guide me forward taking him in my mouth. I hollowed my cheeks bobbing my head slowly. At first only took him halfway and slowly let him hit the back of my throat. He was already moaning for me. Tightening his fingers in my hair guiding me along his cock. “That's it, love, just like that, fuck,” He growled. He pushed my head further down forcing his cock further down my throat. I choked and my eyes started to water but I let him hold me there. I knew it had to feel incredible for him. He pulled me back and I came up gasping for air. He chuckled. “Fuck that’s so sexy. I need more of you.” He held out his hand to help me up and immediately crashed his lips to mine. He bit my bottom lip dragging his teeth across it slowly before finally releasing me. 

“Are you gonna fuck me now baby?” I asked shyly gently running my fingers down his chest. 

“You’ve more than earned it now darling.” He said kissing me again more gently this time. “But I still wanna please you first.” He smirked bending to pick me up over his shoulder. 

“Henry!” I squealed laughing softly. He chuckled and smacked my ass as he carried me to his bedroom. He dropped me gently onto his bed finally ridding himself completely of his jeans and boxers. He gave me one last look asking for permission before stripping me completely as well. He didn’t speak just smiled to himself and started to kiss and grab and feel all over. Kissing my chest and my stomach. Squeezing my breasts. He settled between my legs spreading my thighs kissing and biting at the inside. He slowly made his way up to my core. 

“Fucking dripping for me. I could feel it when you were in my lap. So needy.” He ran his fingers through my folds spreading my slick smirking to himself. I whimpered softly unable to take it anymore. 

“Fuck please don’t tease me, I need you to touch me. Please, Henry.” I begged. He just smirked.  He spread my lips swiping his tongue through my folds. He pulled me closer by my hips and started circling my clit with his tongue. He pulled it between his lips sucking softly and continued to lick. I moaned tossing my head back and my fingers found his curls again. “Oh fuck!” He slipped two fingers into me curving them into me as he continued his assault on my clit. 

It wasn’t long before I felt the coil build up in my stomach. “Henry, I’m gonna cum!” I whimpered. He didn’t let up just continued through my orgasm licking up my juices and pulled back with a growl. Kissing his way back up my body. 

“God you taste incredible,” He moaned in my ear before flipping me onto my knees on the bed and spreading my thighs. “I need to be inside you.” He groaned, lining himself up with my core running his head through my folds gathering the wetness there. He started to push in slowly. “Such a tight little pussy.” He groaned. “Relax for me, baby.” He leaned down kissing my shoulder as he pushed all the way in. “Such a good girl for me, always so ready for my cock.” he growled. I whimpered. I’d never felt so full. It felt incredible. He finally pulled out slowly and started a rhythm holding onto my hips as he took me from behind. Our moans the sounds of our bodies meeting filling my ears. 

“Mm it feels so good,” I moaned pulling at the comforter I could feel my orgasm building again. I started to squeeze around him. Henry pulled out and I whined softly. I heard him chuckle. He flipped me onto my back wrapping my legs around his waist as he shoved himself back into me. 

“I need to see your beautiful face when you cum on my cock baby.” He moaned picking up the pace. He was starting to get close too. He kissed my neck and I dug my nails into his back surely to leave scratches there tomorrow as I came undone around him. He growled in my ear as he thrusted a few more times letting go inside me. 

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He moaned. He kissed all over my face and smiled. “Are you alright darling?” He asked catching his breath

“I’m amazing,” I laughed. 

“Fuck yeah you are,” He chuckled. He laid down next to me for a moment pulling me into him. “Just give me a minute,” he breathed. 

I knew we were just getting started.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Just saw your post about demon trio GAAAHH they are my Roman Empire. The moment when Mouse approached Bad when he was brain resetting in a little patch of flowers he placed down, how close they shifted to each other, it felt so ALIEN and and and cool and I’m so NORMALLL. And when Tina splashed herself with perfume and when she had that role play moment when (idk if it was canon or a character) she was SO OBSESSED with going to heaven, I think she was born a demon, and SOMEHOW acquired religious trauma along the line probably as a child. Born a demon left at an orphanage door idk and they made all the kids go to church or something and Tina was OBSESSED because it gave order and meaning to her life but she was a demon and-

Ok right questions. Sorry, gah I love demon trio. I need an arc where Mouse and Bad get together and try to help Tina. Love how Bad hides the fact he’s a demon not because he hates himself for it (maybe a little) but because he’s a recognizable wanted fucking criminal. Where was I going with this again?

Do you have any thoughts on them? ;v; (sorry for rambling in the ask D: )

AAAA I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS

okay i TOTALLY agree with you have so many thoughts, i was literally just thinking the same thing last night!!! The absolute difference in upbringing as far as the demons really shows in how they act and i have sooooo so many thoughts about it!!!

So first off, i dont really know how old mouse is in terms of her lore but as far as BBH is concerned hes fucking weird and is constantly alluding to his existence extended FAR before the universe even existed, hell even time and space, we dont actually know what the fuck his deal in full is actually!!! What we do know is he was summoned to Earth roughly eleven to fourteen thousand years ago!

Mouse gives us not as much age-wise from what ive heard but she has expressed that she considers two thousand year olds to be "baby" not quite baby but like VERY young! (I have a personal HC that bad's summoning let loose a new age of demons, maybe not all at once but very quickly so mouse would probably be over ten thousand years old)

Tina gives us absolutely NOTHING she doesnt like talking about her demon ancestry aside from hiding it (when bagi said mouse taught her how to smell demons tina quickly panicked and doused herself in perfume, etc etc. nothing super explicit from what ive seen but im relatively new to her lore). But i personally have a hc that shes roughly three thousand years old, coming into existence around the Middle Ages in 1000 CE. That might seem extremely young but honestly thats what im going for for her!!! super extremely young!!! and born around the time when Catholicism was popular!

In my mind, they all have very much different reasons for acting the way they do and im soooooo ill about it

As a BBH main i have the most information on him so ill be talking about the lore i know from him first before getting into the other two lovely ladies!! So what we've heard from BBH is that he prefers to "hide" his demonic features and "blend in" with humans as much as possible if he can, obviously he doesnt do very good at this but hes old as shit and very powerful so like who's gonna tell him??? From what we've heard of his lore, Bad is the cause of a LOT of minor and major disasters in history; Mt Vesuvius (who he named after a dead lover) exploding, the plague taking out most of europe (which he was a plague doctor for), and alongside other major things theres some minor events as well! Small wars he's been present in such as the HG war he was in with cellbit very recently, various other wars he eluded to that he recalled "blended together" because there were so many, that time he went to medical school for 15 minutes just to do brain surgery on that president on a boat.... he also knows a lot of major historical figures and hes been EVERYWHERE, we actually have a rough timeline of where he's been and when just based on who he knows. He knew not only the fucking guy who created the study of viruses, HIS ASS KNOWS ISAAC NEWTON..... and i think once he alluded to knowing goddamn adam and eve, maybe even being the snake in the goddamn garden. Considering its cannon to his lore that he was the angel locked beneath the euphrates river i wouldnt be surprised at that point.

All this to say: Bad has been present for and had an active hand in a LOT of major and minor disastrous historical events, and hes repeatedly talked about how people would chase him with torches and pitchforks - even referring to that activity as "therapy" and said thats the reason he doesnt believe in therapy, because it hurts and doesnt do anything for him except get him running.

Bad does not personally feel shame about his demonic features, he's used to hiding them (or at least intending to.... hes doing a bad job at it) for his own personal safety, because his role as >>>>A) a demon and B) the fucking ferryman of death<<<< brings him a LOT of negative attention. Negative attention that he's had to deal with ALONE for a majority of his existence, up until about fourteen thousand years ago.** (**A major event i feel caused a new era of Demons, we will talk about it more through the post)

Moving on to Mouse; i mention bad's role as a demon having an affect on negative things around him because i honestly think that applies to all or most demons. I don't know much about mouse's lore, but i do know shes proud of her heritage to some degree, is unashamed to tell people shes a demon, and will even actively teach people things about her species (Bringing back Bagi again - We know in cannon Demons smell like Sulfur, its been stated pomme and dapper and bad and mouse and tina all smell like it, and we can assume empanada also does or is starting to).

I, to some degree, think the beginning of her existence was much more accepting and inviting, while bad dealt with his negative experiences alone, and tina had her own upbringing we'll get into, Mouse came into existence during a "Dark" age, when bad was summoned to earth there was a wave of the newest generation of demons being spawned into this world(not in a "father of all demons" way but more in a "large expressions of magic often lead to a ripple affect of more magic" way). A lot of shit probably happened, im not insane like badboyhalo im not gonna research what happened but theres probably some kinda major event that happened. Demons born around that era probably had some kind of support system or way of existing that was underground enough for them to not be wiped out, but they had enough freedoms that mouse and others probably felt comfortable enough to express demonic traits.

I like to think this was the era of her life that had the most influence over her existence, that she was created with pride and will ALWAYS have that pride in her species, it may be dampened but it will never go away fully!*

*I like to think shes experienced maybe some shame over her species when it comes to minor historical events that shes contributed to by just being present, but it very rarely lasts longer than the event itself.

Tina, as far as im concerned, is the youngest of the demon trio aside from their kids. I kinda write her akin to Amethyst from SU, her existence was very recent and she was alone with very little or no initial support system, she was brought up thinking she was "wrong" in some way, her teeth and nails were too sharp, and she has horns and sometimes her skin has a purpleish hue to it that make other people think theres something wrong with her. She has a VERY obviously christian/catholic upbringing which was brought to light recently in one of her conversations with foolish. She's always felt shame about her species and she probably would have continued if it wasnt for mouse and bad, but ESPECIALLY if it wasnt for Empanada.

I have my own thoughts on the demon babies that we'll get into later, but after gaining her daughter who is very much going to be a demon (two demon parents, obvious demon child lol) i cant help but wonder how tina's planning on pushing aside her feelings of shame to make Empanada feel welcomed and loved regardless of her species?

Tina's very young, of course shes seen some major events in history but shes never been raised in community, she probably didnt even know thats just something that comes with the horns until very recently! I can imagine bad and mouse joking and giggling about that town that they stayed the night in that caught fire the next day that they got chased out of a couple hundred years ago, and i can imagine tina being confused as to why they found that amusing, is that normal? Tina's always had minor disasters follow her, her home town very likely burned down or got sick following or preceding a major milestone in her life, and thats probably continued to happen over the thousands of years shes been alive! Being a demon brought up in a very anti-demon environment, whos to say she even knew there were other demons out there really? She was a curse from god, she brought nothing but poor luck and sickness to her household (which i agree with you she was probably residing in an orphanage), she brought it everywhere she went. I cant help but ask myself "did she feel relief that it wasnt just her, or even more shame finding out this is a common occurrence for demons?"

Now thats most of what i have regarding the parents but i have a few notes on the demon kids. I think all the eggs have some sort of demonic features, obviously bads a huge influence on all of them and they care about him as their tia so i draw most of the babies with horns and tails of some kind, but i am particularly focusing on Dapper, Pomme and Empanada, the three demon babies whos actual official parents are the demons.

I dont have anything too specific for them, but i do believe they will grow up to have an attitude towards their species akin to how Mouse acts.

Unlike other demons or even their parents growing up, they have a support system and parents to explain to them things that will happen to them as they get older! They'll have someone to come back to, who will explain "Yes, that village got the plague because you walked through it and the sulfur you spread supernaturally brought illness and bad luck. No, its not your fault in particular. No, you shouldn't stop going into towns and villages, its the 21st century and if they cant stop the plague by now then they were gonna die anyway"

When they inevitably get shunned by humans for their species, they have someone to come back to to let them know that that wasnt right, but its a part of what happens to people like us. Maybe some day we wont have to experience that anymore, but right now the most important thing is to not get caught, and come home to your Mama so we can give you bandaids for your knees and treat your wounds.

I'm so very invested in how the demon babies will be brought up by their parents, i hope we get more demon lore in the future </3

This turned into an essay, hope thats alright njkbhjvgchfg i have so many thoughts on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

i love my fans - trevor zegras

trevor zegras instagram au x f!author

fc: i tried to stick to zendaya but there weren't many pictures that could fit contextually

warnings: swearing + a confused non-nhl-fan-reader

liked by stephbohrer, zoeydeutch and 451,243 others

ynofficial: thank you to everyone who made it to the la signing in anaheim today, you're all so beautiful!! (p.s. the first two photos were from an interaction i had when this guy walked into my signing, stopped and said he was sorry but he was in the wrong place and walked back out with a crowd following him. i am very confused, but he was very polite about it all and honestly it was kind of hilarious. to them: i hope you found where you were meant to be and made it on time!) i love my fans

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fan1: omg no way that happened

fan2: you were beautiful too!

fan3: babe that's literally trevor zegras

ynofficial: who?

jamie.drysdale: trevorzegras humbling moment for you

liked by jhughes and 231,248 others

trevorzegras: met a lot of you today and had a lot of fun doing it ;) i love my fans but i do have to apologise for my lateness, i accidentally crashed a book signing and the author herself was incredibly understanding when i ran into her a couple of minutes ago! unfortunately she had to run and i never got her name but this was one of the two pictures i got before she left. help a guy out?

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jamie.drysdale: ynofficial

fan: not jamie doing the hard work and it going unnoticed

fan4: i feel like that's such a z thing of you to do

fan5: she's literally so fucking pretty

fan6: that's y/n l/n and i'm pretty sure you guys went to the same college at the same time

ynofficial: so this is trevor zegras? wow i get what you guys mean now

trevorzegras: i'm scared. who is 'you guys' and what did they mean?

fan7: i'm never going to recover from this

fan8: if this goes well this is one hell of a meet-cute

liked by monicabarbaro, devonleecarlson and 438,742 others

ynofficial: friends in la

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fan9: effective method in shutting down the rumours i'll give you that

fan10: trev being friendzoned made me laugh

fan11: they've literally only known each other a couple of weeks slow down

fan12: why is there a pin needle in your mug?

fan13: the flowers are gorgeous!

ynofficial: a little present for myself from myself ;)

liked by tterry199, lydianight and 183,868 others

trevorzegras: shenanigans

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fan14: trevor in his active era pop off king

fan15: it's the way every time he posts she's always in it

fan16: fr he's only active because she gives him something to post about

fan17: i know we don't ship people irl but i think i am rn

fan18: THEY MATCH EACH OTHER'S ENERGIES SO WELL

fan19: she took him on her tour??????? i'm sobbing

fan20: she looks so comfortable with him :)

liked by trevorzegras, pierregasly and 436,763 others

ynofficial: my time in la has been a whirlwind to say the least but this post goes out to trevorzegras and trevor zegras only. it took about three weeks for trevor to become my favourite person and now the thought of carrying on this tour without him is kind of daunting, but we move. i just wanted to say that i'm gonna miss him a lot. and that i'm starting to get the hang of this ice hockey thing.

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fan21: it's one am on a monday and you're making me cry already

fan22: STOP IT RN

fan23: idk nor do i care if they're dating but they're too cute not to be soulmates in some realm

fan24: i'm melting with the way he looked at her in the 2nd pic

fan25: wife him up immediately that man is whipped

liked by ynofficial, jamie.drysdale and 153,285 others

trevorzegras: as much as i want you to stay with me in la, i know you need to carry on being the incredible writer and human being you are. just know that you'll always be welcome to stay with me when you come back. i'm so unbelievably proud of my favourite person.

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fan26: just get married already

fan27: this is killing me

fan28: it's the way they look at each other it's sending me into cardiac arrest

fan29: she's just honestly breathtaking

liked by trevorzegras

jhughes: i'm not saying anything

liked by colecaufield, _quinnhughes and 212,863 others

trevorzegras: your favourite hooligans reunited and took NYC by storm

view all comments:

fan30: THEY LOOK SO HAPPY

fan31: you can tell it's been a long 5 months for them both

jamie.drysdale: fucking finally

fan32: jamie's been through something there

fan33: please never keep them apart again

tagged: trevorzegras

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes and 532,974 others

ynofficial: fuck soft launches and all that jazz. this my man

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tagged: ynofficial

liked by ynofficial, deuxmoi and 281,235 others

trevorzegras: i love my fans (a whole damn lot)

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ynofficial: smug bastard

jamie.drysdale: that's what i've been trying to tell you

[hazmatazz]

you can obvi ignore this ask i don’t mind but i need to get it out somewhere. so idk if you know but i run @ask-byler-tumble and just kinda post polls and questions for byler tumblr right? well i posted a poll for the older teens and b*lly was winning. so i took him out of the poll and someone sent me a hate anon. it said “You’re a coward for taking Billy out of the poll (putting this on anon because you like to send death threats)” like what death threats..??? idk where that came from cause i’m just minding my business and they even called me a coward when they went on anon. like if you’re gonna insult me at least let me know who’s insulting me. not to mention i woke up a couple minutes ago to that so yippee.

i am actually very sorry for bothering you with this haz again you can ignore this i just had to get it out somewhere. thanks for dealing with my nonsense i love you bye :)

hey no worries you can come here whenever for whatever

anyways, it's literally your poll. you can decide who you want to put in the polls or not. you're not wrong for excluding a character you (rightfully) dislike. i would have done the same. they shouldn't have called you a coward and all that. that's bullshit

the asker probably met st fans who didn't take kindly to them going into their ask box to get pissy about disliking billy (and those st fans would be in the right, literally stay in your lane) and expected you to have the same reaction (which is like stupid but whatever)

i've gotten a few biIly hargr.ve anons before and just like...literally leave me alone. i'm not seeking you out, just block me <3 that shouldn't have happened alr :(?

[jenroses]

Reasons I have had shocking decreases in function on a given day: 1. I opened my eyes (and the eyelid stuck to the eyeball and caused a corneal tear which is one of the single most painful things you can experience and one of the weirdest experiences in medicine because they can just make it go from a 10/10 to 0/10 in a second but it only lasts 20 minutes. Sjogrens is wild, y'all. 2. My ankle stopped ankling and I fell and the fall caused to me to actually break said ankle. The failure to ankle happened before the break. Was I running? Turning? Doing athletics? No. I was walking on my front porch, a level surface. I picked up the flu while at the doctor for the ankle, and never completely recovered. (this was almost 10 years ago. It marked the step from Mild to Moderate in ME/CFS.) This is what we call the 1-2 punch of ME/CFS and EDS.

3. I sat down in my car and my neck went out, causing 3 months of numbness in my arm and making me think I might need surgery.

4. I used my wheelchair and for some reason my sacrum decided to fuck off and my nerves misaligned and now sometimes for no good reason for several months at a time I can't sit up for more than 10 minutes in an ideal sitting device without horrible shooting pains. And sometimes it goes away and then comes back without warning.

5. I dared to go to more than one grocery store in the same day and had to spend the next five days in bed.

It makes me laugh when people say I should get more exercise. I should fucking not. I used to be a distance swimmer, 400 im was my race, I was a goddamn athlete. I danced for 7 years, rode horses, worked very physical jobs that required lots of walking, at one point I was doing home reno for 14+ hours per day. My default, feeling good mode is "doing lots of stuff and helping lots of people" and if I'm not doing lots of stuff and helping lots of people it's because I figured out that every time I tried to "get back in shape" I ended up deathly ill for weeks on end and lost all my muscle mass and ended up worse off than I started. I figured that out a decade or so before I even knew the term "post exertional malaise."

I saw an old friend, a doctor, at the con the other day. I told her I'd been diagnosed with ME/CFS and that I'd probably had it for 30 plus years. She went very quiet, and then said, "That explains everything. I'm so sorry."

And what did I do to end up with ME/CFS? Well, it is usually triggered by viruses. Some of the viruses that trigger it include: Roseola (age 3 months. IDK where I picked it up, but it certainly wasn't anything I was doing "wrong".) Influenza (God knows how many times but one flu when I was four made me hurt so bad I literally could not walk.) Chicken Pox (age 9. I went to a sleepover where the girl whose birthday it was had a kid sister who spiked a fever) Mono (Age 17, shared a straw with my best friend) More influenza (H1N1 really kicked the stuffing out of me but it was far from the first or last, that was 2009. The one in 2015 really did a number on me) Covid (2022 and 2023) was like, not helpful but mostly an afterthought. It made the dysautomnia worse, mostly. Probably contributed to kidney stones. Sometimes disability just happens. Sometimes it's sudden and sometimes it is so creeping slow that you don't realize how bad it's gotten until you look around and realize that even doing One Thing per day out of the house is too much.

Something I wish abled bodied people would understand is that just because I’m using a mobility aid doesn’t mean I’m “hurt” in that moment necessarily. They’re also preventative measures. Since I’ve began using my aids at work I’ve gotten so many versions of “what happened to you” that I genuinely cannot keep track. Nothing *happened*, sometimes people are just disabled.

[writingabouteverything]

A Blink of an Eye

a/n I WENT TO MY HSLOT SHOW IT WAS EVERYTHING YOU GUYS !! BEST NIGHT EVER! this isn’t like born from that exactly but it is a being at a HSLOT tour show vibes lol

if this is bad im sorry,, it just got so long so fast and ahhh it’s here 

summary: y/n is a college student that has basically become a celebrity over night after being casted in a live action Coraline adaptation, and her first real outing post-blowing up is a Harry Styles concert she bought pit tickets for a year ago. Things are more hectic than y/n imagined them being, but they’re not unenjoyable...and then the Harry Styles’s narcissistic side has to come out after realizing that he’s not the only center of attention at his own show. And that changes a lot more than just the outcome of a concert. 

a/n part 2 lol: i can see making this a series or like a mini blurb series where harry like introduces the reader to the celebrity world and helps her through it and thats like what draws them into a relationship?? idk? 

also could see myself making a fake social media post for this!!

------

It’s 2021...technology has advanced far too much for me to still get blindsided by stupid mistakes like forgetting to set the right alarm. How dumb can one person be? Now that my schedule is as tight as it is, I can’t afford to do things like this. 

I was supposed to finish a math assignment due tonight at midnight in the morning, because my mid-morning and early-afternoon are taken up by classes. When I finish that, I have my first video interview since the...whole getting casted in the upcoming live action Coraline and then blowing up on twitter because of a series of youtube videos that had less than a hundred views before the world found out that I’ll be playing Coraline and Timothee Chalamet will be playing Wybie. Okay, it’s kind of my first real interview ever. 

The only acting credits I have except for a couple of indie movies are a two-episode arch on Criminal Minds when I was eleven and a rarely recurring character on ABC’s comedy, Superstore. I didn’t know if I wanted to keep acting in college..but then my old agent reached out with something secretive and highly competitive and...wow. Things really can change in a blink of an eye. 

“It feels like I’m speed walking with a celebrity.” 

My best friend’s voice distracts me from my thoughts. I turn towards Blythe, sarcastically glaring at her as she hides a smug grin by taking a sip of her pumpkin cold brew. There are a few...onlookers...and two camera men were excited about my appearance at the only Starbucks within walking distance of my campus, but it’s not like people are gawking. It’s not like I’m some megastar now. People only care about me because they know that soon I’ll be filming with Timothee.  

That’s why people are watching me. Some are even hoping for some romance on set because someone found a clip of youtube video in which I said that Timothee Chalamet was exactly my time. As soon as they realize that I’m the most awkward person on the planet, and that even though Timothee was extremely nice about my lack of major project experience, he won’t be seduced by my excitement over this project’s every development. 

“I am not a celebrity.” I adjust my grip on my drink. “People found out that the girl who’s going to be in a movie with Timothee Chalamet has a failing vlog channel that she only updates when she’s bored. The three people that notice me in public are going to forget about me in two minutes.” 

Blythe raises an eyebrow, which is fair considering that we both know I’ve gotten more than attention from three people. My social media stats went off the charts the moment the live action cast for Coraline was announced. 

“You’re starring in a movie with Timothee Chalamet,” Blythe corrects, “You’re literally playing Coraline in a live action Coraline--you’re going to be film twitter’s new obsession, I know it.” 

Rolling my eyes with a slight laugh, I ignore the odd warmth in my chest. That’d be...it’d be unbelievable. I’m doing all I can to not let this chance go to my head. It’s one project--one amazing, coveted project, but I can’t just assume that my life is made now. Besides...playing such an iconic character is so much more pressure than playing someone unknown. What if people hate how I portray Coraline? Live adaptations keep getting hate, what if this is like that and I ruin a story so many people love?  

Blythe blinks at me, waiting for an answer, but these aren’t the kinds of insecurities you just blurt out. “If you’re right, you’ll be my date to the premiere.” 

She narrows her eyes at me. “Excuse me, I was always going to be your date, and then I was going to leave you for Timothee Chalamet--who you have to introduce me to at some point, or you’ll no longer be considered a good roommate.”  

I let out a small laugh. “I’ve talked to him like three times, give me a chance to get to know him before I start carting him around.” 

Blythe sighs. “I guess, but when Harry Styles invites you back stage tonight you have to take me.” 

This time when I laugh, it’s completely genuine. “You’re delusional.” 

“What? It could happen, you’re like a celebrity now--” 

“I am at most a social media trend, and Harry Styles isn’t exactly known for being up to date on social media trends.” I take another sip of coffee. “And I probably won’t even be recognized.” 

Blythe presses her lips together, amusement leaving her. “Are you sure you’re--are you sure it’s okay for you to be in such a public space? I mean Starbucks was awkward, but in a pit full of people--” 

“No one’s going to look at me twice. It’ll be dark and the odds of one of the three people that care about who I am being there and near us are low, and they’ll be distracted by Harry Styles.” We stop in front of our campus’s library. “Now stop worrying about that, and start worrying about the math homework you said you’d help me with. You know I need to be done by 3:00.” 

------

The evening comes faster than I expected it too, but I’m not mad about it. I’ve been looking forward to this concert for more than a year and now it’s only a few hours away.

Blythe insists on us taking a selfie before we can head out the door. I consider doing the same for my Instagram story, but decide against it. Knowing that people are actually monitoring my social media activity makes it feel weird to post. I’ve never been one to post everything online, but on the occasional night out in which I like all parts of my outfit, I don’t mind posting to Instagram or my Snapchat story. Now I don’t know if that’s sending some kind of message. Especially because I didn’t tell my agent about the concert and she said to run things by her until I officially find a manager. 

I should have mentioned it to Fiona, but a tiny part of me worried she thought the exposure would be too much right now and I wouldn’t be able to go to the concert. No one expected me to get as much attention as I’m getting right now this quickly. 

“Ready?” 

Whatever. It’s not like this is a bad thing that’s happening. It’s good--it’s what I’ve worked for, I just wish I knew what I was doing. And i don’t have to think of it tonight. “Yeah.” 

------

The atmosphere is everything I wanted it to be. Blythe and i should have gotten to the venue earlier, but schoolwork made it impossible. We shuffle in behind a group of fabulously dressed girls and join a small line before getting wristbands put on us. 

“Excuse me?” I turn my head, expecting for an employee to ask to see my ticket or vaccine card again. Instead, I see a girl who can’t be older than maybe fifteen. When I nod, her eyes widen, “Can I get a picture with you?” 

“You want a picture with me?” 

That strange flutter in my stomach returns. I’ve been asked to take pictures with strangers multiple times over these last few days, but I didn’t expect this here. Okay, one girl--one picture. I guess it’s cool to know that there’s at least one case of overlapping between people that now care about me and Harry Styles fans.

“Yes! You’re y/n l/n, right?” I nod. “I’m so excited for your movie! I watched all of your youtube videos last night and you seem like the nicest person ever and I can’t believe you’re going to be working with Timothee Chalamet.” 

“Me either.” 

Blythe spares me a side glance. “I can take the picture, if you want.” 

The girl grins, handing Blythe her phone. After a few pictures are taken, I compliment the girl’s outfit and she thanks me before running off to catch up with her friends. 

“MIss celebrity--” 

“Shut up, it was one pict--” Turning, the rest of the word dies in my throat. 

That interaction was noticed...a small crowd of people are now watching me, some standing with the cameras of their phone open as if they’re waiting for something. A few snap pictures of me as I stand there, but others start to approach me. There’s nothing chaotic about it at first, the people that want to meet me form a line. I don’t mind i, everyone is nice and encouraging, claiming that they can see me portraying Coraline well and that they understood why I got cast.I thought I’d have more time to talk to Blythe, but she doesn’t seem to mind the flock of people.

By the time Jenny Lewis comes on stage, I’m done with the people that want a picture with me. Towards the end of her set, new people start to take notice of my presence. No one approaches me, but I can see the way I’m being monitored. Some people record me for their snapchat stories or take quick pictures. Eventually, a group of friends walk up to me to tell that they love my videos and that they’re looking forward to my movie. I’m quick to thank them, hoping to become unnoticeable the second the reason we’re all here takes the stage. 

When the introduction video begins, I am glad to be forgotten. Golden is so amazing live I almost lose it. Blythe feels the same way, she grabs my hand as Harry begins another song. I’m so lost in the music, the stares and not-so-subtly angled cameras seem to disappear into the background. 

Until Harry pauses between songs to introduce himself. A teenage boy gasps, steps towards me, and asks me about TImothee Chalamet. I keep my reply brief but polite, but I’m cut off by a middle aged woman telling me her daughter has always been a fan of my videos and is so happy to see my success and that she’d love a picture. How could I say no to that? The girl hugs me so tightly I can’t breathe, and the mom snaps a photo. At that, a group of girls the same age as me start talking to me about how much they love the original Coraline. A few more people become more blatant about their ‘secret’ pictures and more people approach me with commentary. It gets to the point where I’m struggling to be able to pay attention to Harry Styles. 

“Hey!” The loudest voice of the night. Everyone pauses, their eyes snapping to the stage. “This is my show, eyes on me...not on her.” The audience laughs, a nervous giggle escapes me as the screen that projects the concert shifts to project me to the audience. Harry steps forward, approaching me. “What’s your name?” 

Blythe has to nudge me in order for me tor register the fact that he’s speaking to me. Oh my god, I’m talking to Harry Styles. “Y/n.” 

“Well, everyone, this is y/n.” He steps even further towards the side of the stage that I’m on. “She’s cute, right?” Did he just call me cute in front of an entire arena of people? “Okay--now you’ve seen her and you can all focus on me, because, y/n, you’re hurting the narcissist in me.” 

Everyone laughs, including me. Is being called out by him right now even more surreal than how many people have recognized me here? Yes--but at least he doesn’t actually seem mad. I feel comfortable enough to call out a genuine, “Sorry!” 

He steps forward, moving around a chord. “At least she’s sorry for doing whatever it is she did to get all the attention off of me.” Harry’s still joking, that much is clear from his slight laugh. “Which was--how’d you do that?” 

I press my lips together, unsure of what to say. I’m a celebrity now, but because I’ve only been one for two minutes, people are really excited about it. Yeah, that won’t work. “She’s going to be in a movie!” 

I could kill Blythe. 

“A movie! How exciting.” My face has never bene this hot in my entire life. “What’s it’s name?” 

A tiny part of me doesn’t want to reply. It’s not like I can ignore him, but something about me always feels awkward about telling people about acting jobs. I don’t need anyone thinking I’m self obsessed. “Coraline!” 

He pauses, expression twisting in partial confusion. “Isn’t that the claymation one?” 

I nod exuberantly to make up for my mask and our distance. “They’re making a live action one.” 

Harry makes a show of playfully grimacing. “That’s the scary one, right?” He doesn’t wait for me to react. “Accidentally showed it to a little girl once, her daddy almost had my head.” The audience laughs. I join in, still feeling insanely awkward and like I’m in some parallel universe. He pauses, something behind his gaze shifting...perhaps the disappearance of his humor. “You don’t seem scary, though.” The words are said softer than anything I’ve heard all night, the gentleness of them making me wonder if those words were meant for the entire stadium or just me. Harry begins to pace away, “Right!” He exclaims, letting the strange (and one-sided) tension disappear. “Stop stealing my show or I’ll show up to your premiere and steal that.” 

The audience laughs. I’m frozen until Blythe touches my arm. That pulls me back into this realm of reality...and that’s how I become aware of the fact that what just happened wasn’t in my head. I turn to Blythe, too aware of the people around me to react the way I really want to. 

The moment we’re alone we’re doing that weird, girly, jumpy-squealing thing. “Told you, you were famous. Harry Styles knows you!” 

“Does not! He saw a bunch of people taking pictures with me, that’s all.” 

Blythe rolls her eyes, moving to grab my hand so that she can excitedly jump around to the next song. I force the odd interaction out of my mind as the intro to Canyon Moon begins. At least after Harry’s warning, people think twice about invading my space. Until he temporarily disappears, a few girls take their chances, the bolder ones calling my name so that I’ll look at their cameras. I know that more attention than ever is on me, and that Fiona will definitely be asking why I didn’t run such a public outing by her. But that’s tomorrow morning’s problem. Okay--probably later tonight’s problem.

By the time Kiwi begins, the last song of the night, I’ve basically shaken myself free of all my weird feelings. Things are good. Harry wasn’t mad...and he talked to me, which is something I never thought would happen. And yes, I’d rather not have had people taking pictures of and with me throughout the entire concert, but they’re being nice to me. No one has expressed any negative opinions, and I really didn’t see that coming. 

I haven’t always been the most comfortable in my body. Everyone thought it’d pass with the teenage years, but here I am...almost twenty-one and still overly aware of how my body compares to beauty standards. So aware that I’m not always as good to my body as I should be. 

At least things are good right now. Really good. Because Kiwi is an absolute banger, and even though I know I’m not as anonymous as I’d like to be, I can’t help but give that song my all. Blythe and I did come here with the intention of losing our voices, after all. 

Harry says his goodbyes, blowing kisses to the audience. The moment he disappears, leaving the fans on a high, I find myself feeling like I’m in a pool of piranhas. Most of the people around me already got their pictures, but after the attention Harry brought onto me, I can already see people further in the pit preparing to cue around me. If they didn’t know I was going to be in the live action Coraline before, they do now...

Blythe latches onto my hand, as both a way to hold onto me and a way to say we’re in for a long night. A tap of my shoulder is all it takes for me to turn. I put on the smile I’ve been using more and more lately, prepared to greet the person that’s prepared to start what could be chaos.

I expect to see some kind of teenager: a girl a few years younger than me, more curious about asking me about Timothee Chalamet than anything else. That’s not what I get...

The man who just tapped me on the shoulder introduces himself, “Hello, I’m Jeff, I work for Harry, and if you’d like to go back stage to avoid the attention he accidentally put on you, I can take you.” My eyes fall to the VIP passes in his hand. “Your friend can come, too.” 

Backstage escort at the Harry Styles concert? The meek part of me wants to say no. He did call me out for taking some of the attention from him at his show...but he was joking, right? Besides, my life isn’t random backstage opportunities. My life also isn’t almost getting mobbed in the pit of a concert. 

“That sounds great, we really appreciate it.” Blythe answers before I can form a response. 

I’ll scold her for that later. “Yes, I’d really appreciate it. Only if it’s not any trouble, though, I didn’t mean to cause any commotion--” 

“No trouble at all,” he says, handing me the passes, “and you didn’t cause any commotion--it’s good for him, to realize he’s not the only star in the world.” 

The implication of me being a star...let alone a star in the same universe as Harry Styles, is enough to  force me to be silent. Jeff leads Blythe and I pass what remains of the crowd. A tiny part of me feels like I can breathe better when we disappear behind a door that promises the anonymity I’m more accustomed to. I’ve always loved acting, and this is the kind of success I’ve always dreamed of...but it happened so suddenly. No one was prepared for that, and it feels like I keep doing the wrong thing. Fiona keeps saying that things will be easier when I finally have a manager, but there’s no guarantee I’m good at this.

We’re led to a comfortably set up backroom. People I don’t know mill about, Jeff is called over by someone almost immediately. He politely excuses himself and leaves Blythe and I. 

“This is the most excited I’ve ever been about anything,” Blythe almost squeals. 

I smile. “I know, but act calm, please--I don’t need another zoom incident.” 

“I only wanted to say hi to Timothee--” 

“Which would have been fine if you hadn’t tried to take my spot in front of my laptop while we were trying to read through some scenes.” 

She half sighs, knowing that I’m right. “That was an ambush--I had gotten back from class and I had no warning. And it was online, you can play anything off over zoom. It’s not like I’m going to shove you out of the way right now.” 

“What does ‘right now’ have to do with anything?” 

Her eyes widen slightly, “Don’t freak, but Harry Styles is walking over here...’right now’.” 

I turn my head, prepared to tell her that her joke’s so funny, but the words die in my throat the second my gaze has settled on the person crossing the room. Harry Styles is walking towards me. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey.” Really? ‘Hey’? 

After a moment. of silence, he continues, “I’m Harry.” 

“Y/n.” 

He nods once politely, “Y/n, I need to apologize about the amount of attention I drew to you. I didn’t realize who you were...and then--” 

“You’re fine, you had no way of knowing and it’s not like I got mobbed or anything. I really do appreciate you getting me backstage before people could notice me, though.” He nods once politely. “The show was amazing.” 

He takes the praise well, smiling slightly. “Appreciate it, though it was almost stolen.” 

The teasing coaxes a genuine smile from me. “Key word is ‘almost’, you beat me.” Harry lets out a slight laugh. “In all seriousness, though, I am sorry about any--” 

“Oh, don’t apologize to the narcissist in me,” he waves my words off, “it’s good for him to be on his toes.” 

“I imagine that’s rare.” The comment earns me another partial laugh. 

“Not an unfair assumption.” 

He holds my gaze after that, maybe for a little too long. I drop my eyes after a minute, my gaze landing on Blythe’s feet. She’s been uncharacteristically quiet. “Oh, this is Blythe, my best friend.” 

Harry smiles, greeting her. This is the most awkward I’ve ever seen Blythe, a part of me finds it funny. Her nerves usually make her more outgoing, but she’s truly starstruck, struggling to manage bare minimum politeness. Harry probably thinks she’s just shy, which is the funniest development ever. 

“The show was great,” Blythe says, “And it was really nice to meet you.” 

“You as well.” Harry’s attention returns to me. “I also enjoyed meeting you, y/n.” 

“Me too.” 

I expect that to end our interaction. He will disappear to talk to more important people, and I will be free to go home and freak out over everything that’s happened to night. “I’ll see you at the movies, I guess. You must be a great actress to get cast in something so scary.” 

I laugh freely. “Coraline’s not a horror movie.” Though the version I’m in is meant to be even darker than the original. 

“I won’t feel that way in theaters, might need someone to hold my hand.” The humor behind his eyes evaporates the same way it seemed to on stage. 

“I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

The up-tilt of his lips almost drops. “If not, you can always talk me through the jump scares.” 

My face feels warm again. Just polite banter. “I promise I’ll warn you about anything you want to know about.” 

He grins. “I’ll hold you to it.” I smile, waiting for him to excuse himself. He’s talked to me way longer than he needs to, and there’s no way that he’s not in demand. “I’ve got to talk to some people, but if you’re staying I could come find you in a few minutes.” 

He wants to talk to me more? He wants to talk to me more! I’m hallucinating, and I’m about to have to ruin everything. “I’d love to, but my ride has an 8AM tomorrow.” 

I gesture towards Blythe, who might kill me for putting her sleep schedule over talking to Harry Styles.

“If your friend doesn’t mind me stealing you, I can make sure you get back.” 

The offer floats there for a long moment. “I don’t mind at all.” 

Great--now I have no excuse to not think about what I want. I don’t want to impose, but it’s not like he had to invite me to stay out of politeness, right? And it’s not like I’ll make Fiona more angry. “As long as it’s no imposition.” 

“Not at all.” 

[goldenn-moments]

absolutely losing it over your 'mind your business' wille screencap this is pure gold 😂😂

also your thoughts!!! *discreetly slides you a can we be friends note haha stealth mode 100*

I'm so glad that my roommate is a heavy sleeper bc I may or may not have had a happy freak out when I saw I had another ask in my inbox skdvxksbd. I'm very glad you liked my "mind your business" wille, I made it in three minutes on my phone when I was ignoring my work <3

and OMG my thoughts. okay, I decided like, ten minutes ago that tomorrow I'm actually gonna post my whole lengthy thing of what I want out of s3, but!! here are some of my random thoughts that have been plaguing my brain:

starting off strong with the first thing I saw when I opened my notes app - this random idea that I had for a wilmon au: wille and simon as orpheus and eurydice. I got this idea bc I saw one of those "no one would sit at my grave" "he would" edits that are making the rounds on tiktok, and all the comments were saying "wille would follow simon to the grave" etc etc. and bc I'm a greek mythology nerd, my mind immediately went to the myths and then I was like "omfgs orpheus and eurydice." I can't decide who I want to be who bc on one hand there's simon who is clearly the musician out of the two. on the other hand I have this vivid image of wille going to the underworld and begging to save simon, willing to do literally anything to get the love of his life back

sticking on the greek mythology track for a sec (apologies, this probably wasn't what you were expecting, but I was one of the first members of my high school's greek myths club for a reason) - I love thinking up aus, and in a world where greek gods and young royals coexisted in the same universe, simon is 100% the son of apollo. like are you kidding me??? the sun was made for omar (and simon by default) (yes this is inspired by omar's insta pic)

pov outsider is like, one of my favorite things ever. in every fandom I'm in I inevitably search for it on ao3. and so I just love thinking abt what the people around simon and wille are thinking - like what do rosh and ayub see when they look at wille and simon???? they see their best friend who is strong in his beliefs against the upper class somehow being wooed by the prince of all people, then they see said prince break his heart, and then months later after they try to convince their bestie to move on, said prince is on national television basically proclaiming his love for their bestie. like I want to know what they were thinking!!! I want to see into their minds. I wanna know if they were somewhere like idk, maybe their school was broadcasting the thing or smth (idk what time of day it was sorry), and they don't wanna watch bc fuck him, he hurt their best friend, but then???? he turns around and takes back control of his own story and says no to harmful and empty traditions???? like if I was them I'd be losing my shit, full on what the fuck mode and texting simon to tell me everything bc I need to know what's happening

I also want to see into the minds of the average hillerska student. like they had front row seats to the Drama that is wille and simon - what were they thinking whenever their prince and that non res kid slipped into the music room together??? when simon nailed wille w the ball and the most reaction anyone had was the guy who was clapping behind simon??? what did the choir thinking when simon led wille away??? (bc they have to have the best seats in the house - they've been humming along to simons love song for wille for a while now, they gotta know it all, lmao). basically these pov outsider thoughts aren't fully fleshed out, but they rattle around my brain all the time and I'm always here wondering what people are thinking

something I want in s3 that's probably gonna be on my list: simon getting the fucking respect he deserves. like out of everyone at that school, wille is the one who respects him the most. wille was the first one to look past his societal labels and see the brilliant, shining boy that simon is. and yeah they've been dealing with all their shit so that distracted from it, but now that they're out, that there's no more hiding (they're stepping into the light skxjsj) - even w all that, I highly doubt that the majority of the hillerska population will give up their prejudices just like that. so I'm expecting to see students be kinda nasty, like I wouldn't be surprised if vincent ramps up his douchebaggery in s3 bc he's an elitist asshole. and bc I'm expecting that to happen, I'm also expecting wille to snap at anyone who tries to belittle simon, laying down the groundwork for simon to have his footing w all those rich kids and stand up for himself. idk, I just really want simon to be respected at school at the very least, bc we all know that the royal court ain't gonna be respecting him

on the topic of the royal court: fuck jan-olof. all my homies hate jan-olof. if I was in a room w the worst person alive and jan-olof, there'd only be one person in that room w me and it'd be that bitch jan-olof. I hope that while wille and simon are busy smiling next season, jan-olof will be suffering immensely

speaking of wilmon smiling, I need at least seven seasons of them just being domestic happy bitches after s3 is over please and thank you Lisa <3

I have a lot of vague fic ideas that I wanna flesh out, so hopefully I'll get the brain power to do that during winter break. some of those ideas are: a pov outsider from krissy's pov set in a hypothetical s3 where simon and wille are at the palace. they've just had a tense meal that was after an intense royal court meeting, and miss ma'am is frustrated. she goes on a walk to clear her head, only to end up hiding behind a corner bc there's wilhelm and his boyfriend, standing in the gardens under the moonlight. and she doesn't know why she doesn't immediately step up and make her presence known - maybe it's because she wants to understand why her son is so willing to throw everything away for that boy, or maybe it's because now, bathed in the moonlight, is the first time she's seen her son genuinely smile in over a year. it's the first time she's ever heard him giggle like that since he was a child being chased by erik, and it's all because of that boy who helped cause all this trouble. and it goes on and she eventually leaves but gets an appreciation for the way her son is never more alive than when he's with simon. I'm tentative abt writing this bc I haven't written in krissy's pov, but who knows. my OTHER idea I came up w like, after I finished s2 and had to silently freak out bc I was stupid and finished the show in the middle of a lecture hall😭 basically I wanna write all these times simon thought "I love you" but never said it and the times he finally does - I have another page in my notes app for when those moments should be, and who knows! maybe I'll write them one day

another thing I wanna write that's completely out of left field: just inserting magic of some kind or another into the yr universe. I have a bad habit of making everything magical bc thats where my eternal brainrot lies, so. if anyone wants to see that, hmu and I'll share some of my many ideas w the yr universe and magic (this includes many crossovers bc I'm also really bad at stopping myself from crossing over all my fandoms in some way shape or form)

anyways!! this is completely incoherent and an absolute mess, but that's kinda how my brain operates so I hope you liked at least some of it, lol. thank you so much for this ask, my excitement for being able to ramble abt yr is through the roof *discreetly accepts the can we be friends note bc hell yeah we can, your stealth mode is so good, 10/10*

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴

𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.

ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ

Oh, lawd! i have to post everything again! Send me all your energy. If you wanna be tagged, just inform me!

Also, I’ll be changing the story by a little, (or by a lot, idk) from my previous version.

You were feeling like John Travolta from the music video of Stayin’ Alive. Vibing to your own rhythm, living your own freedom. Attending college miles away from your hometown, you were the captain of your ship. Though you loved your parents more than anything, you were glad for the freedom granted upon you.

Your Freshmen year had just begun and you had already made a few friends. But what you didn’t want to accept just yet was your crush on one of them, Bucky. With his steely blue eyes and boyish charm, even a goddess might fall for him, and you were just a mortal. You were simply happy with being friends as you believed he would never like you and well, a little crush never hurt nobody.  

Completing your shift in a local bookstore, just outside the campus, you were walking back, lost in your own thoughts. What caught your attention was a group of howling high schoolers; from the look of it, they were barely a year to two younger than you. A group of tall and popular kids were bullying a skinny, helpless dude; ufff the usual cliché you thought to yourself. What you failed to notice though was his bleeding nose.  

You were a kind soul, always helping others, but you were no fool. All alone in an unknown town, you weren't going to confront the burly teens who were twice your own size. After giggling and cracking some stupid jokes on the poor dude trying to impress a girl, they left him and that’s when you noticed all the blood. You quickly crossed the road and walked towards him. He seemed smaller than he was as he was crouching down and trying to rub all the blood.

“Hey! Pinch your nose, don’t disturb it by rubbing.” you said while bending down. “Uhh, okay... thanks!” he looked at you with big doe eyes and you were utterly mesmerized by the blue oceans he had for his eyes. “Do you.. Do you need something else kid? Where do you live?” you asked giving him a candy and your water bottle. “I’m no kid!” he exclaimed and you flinched.  

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. You are helping me and here I am shouting at you.” You could clearly see remorse in his eyes and you wondered why would someone hurt him? “yeah, yeah.. It's Okay... now have this candy, the sugar will help you feel better.” you said with a soft smile. “thank you so much... and by the way I live two streets across. I mean I can go by myself, I'm a grown-up.. But...” he trailed off and you helped him get up.

“I’m Steve” he tried his best to smile and you followed by sharing your own name. And with that his chatter train began, he explained that he was just trying to help another girl getting bullied, when the bullies decided to change their target and chase Steve instead.

“you should wear your own mask first and then help others wear theirs.” you quipped and instantly bit your tongue. “Hmm, what?” he asked genuinely curious. “what I meant is that you did what is correct and very brave, but sometimes you gotta think for yourself too. But these are just my thoughts.” you shrugged. “I’ll remember that.” he said with a genuine expression. And after a million thank yous he finally went in his house. By the size of his house, he seemed rich and you wondered maybe this wasn't that cliché.  

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

The next day, you were walking back the same road, when you thought of Steve. He really was a kind and sweet person. This world needed more of people like him. And just then you saw him smiling brightly and waving at you, his nose bandaged. He had a huge box in his hand.

“Heyyyyy! Thank you for helping me yesterday. So I just... kinda got this as a ... a token of appreciation. I considered you might like donuts, so I got you this.” He said rubbing his nape. His cheeks had become so red he looked like a ripe tomato. “well, if you haven’t already given me diabetes by saying so many thank yous, after eating sooo many donuts I’ll surely get it.” At that you both chuckled and the atmosphere became lighter. As you picked a donut, he looked at you with such admiration you thought you would melt then and there.

Suddenly with a stern expression you asked “what if it’s drugged?” His eyes widened and he stuttered, “I... I would never do that ...” he looked down and you thought he might cry. “hey waittt.. don’t get so sad.. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I was just joking. I have this really bad habit of saying things when I shouldn’t. God I just ruined everything.” You just made a mental note not to joke around him, he seemed to be quite emotional. Though it was going to be difficult to tame your tongue. “don’t be. I just take things too literally.... anyway let’s have some donuts what say?” He said with such shine in his eyes you wondered whether he was sad just a moment before.

You both walked up to your university campus, munching on donuts. You both shared things about yourselves. You told him how you were passionate in becoming a doctor. He on the other hand talked about his struggles in studying. “will you help me? You are so smart and bright, will you help me study if I have a doubt or something?” he asked giving his big doe eyes.

You weren’t going to agree at first, you had just met him a day ago. But after looking in those calm blue pools of his eyes you agreed. Seeing the joy on his face, you wondered whether he just won an Oscar.

What you didn’t know was that Steve had already fallen in love with you, yes love, he was convinced that you were the one for him, his one true love. Not a moment had he been able to think of anything but you since he had met you. You were everything he needed and wanted and much more. He was simply desperate to spend more time with you.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

It had been around six months since you met Steve. Over the time you two had turned out to be best friends. While Steve had fallen even more in love with you, you had fallen hopelessly in love with bucky. While you always told bucky about Steve and vice versa, you never confessed to Steve about your love for Bucky, thus furthermore increasing his hopes. You desperately wished to make Steve and Bucky meet. They were two important people in your life and you more than anything wished that they got together well.  

Today was the day when you decided to arrange a small meet and greet at the park where you and Steve met every day. You and Bucky walked together towards the tree where you usually sat with Steve waiting there for you. You knew both would like each other, but somewhere deep within your gut you were getting a not-so good feeling about this.  

Steve’s eyes lit up seeing you but as they turned to Bucky, it felt as if all the energy had been sucked out of him. You didn’t like that one bit. “Bucky!?” Steve exclaimed in half disappointment and half fear. “You both... you both know each other?” you ask bewildered. You tried chuckling to lighten the mood but by the looks of it they were sworn enemies, but you prayed that you were wrong. “yeah, we know each other a little too well... Uh... We were good friends once.” Steve quietly admitted.

All this time Bucky had his jaw clenched, dragging in a deep breath he began. “I knew it! I knew it would be you, you little fucker! You want to have everything don’t you? Goddammit! I had this feeling it was you but I thought it was too much of a coincidence, but no. fate had to be so cruel.” you were shocked to see Bucky's sudden outburst. You wondered what conspired between the two, as either hadn’t ever mentioned the other.  

You were snapped out of your thoughts with Bucky calling your name. “let’s go. I don’t want to see him even for a minute more and neither do you.” Bucky started pulling your hand but you stopped him “Bucky no. I guess you have some misunderstanding; Steve is a good person. And you don’t get to tell me who to talk to and who to not.”

Suddenly Bucky turned back to Steve, anger written all over his face. “You didn’t tell her, huh, did you? Don’t worry I'll tell her. Steve is the son of Joseph Rogers and he is the freaking Don Corleone of this area. Do you know how my father died? Steve’s father had him killed just because unknowingly he provided shelter to his father’s fugitive. Steve just pretends to be a caring, emotional person but he is a snake behind that mask, so is everyone in his family.” towards the end Bucky was in tears and you were in utter shock. Now that you tried to remember, Steve never really did tell you much about his family. And the fact that Steve wasn’t denying any single allegation made you want to puke your guts out.

“You have taken too much from me. But not this. Not her. Not the woman I love more than anything.” Bucky said it out loud in the heat of the moment. You were too dumbstruck to even blink. Did Bucky just confess that he loved you?  

Bucky turned to you and held your arm with such softness you wondered if he was just now screaming his lungs out at Steve. “I know I can't tell you who to be with, and I promise I never will in the future, but trust me you want to be caught up with him or his family. And still, if you choose him, well then, I can’t be with you.”

You knew you had to make a choice then and there, there was no going back, and you chose Bucky.

[elliesguitarstrings]

Just Friends

Masterlist

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Summary: You and Tom haven’t seen each other since filming Uncharted, and you decide to surprise him at his Jimmy Kimmel interview. Although you’ve always been “just friends,” you can’t help but think there’s something more.

A/N: Hey y’all sorry it’s been a few days since I last posted, I’ve just been super stressed with school and stuff, but I actually really like this fic and I hope you guys like it too!

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst if you squint

WC: 2.4k

~~~~~~~~

It’s been months since you and Tom last saw each other in person.

While filming Uncharted, the two of you had become extremely close, hanging out in each other’s trailers and spending all of your free time together. In such a short period, you had become best friends, but neither of you could deny the spark of something more. Unfortunately, the two of you never got to explore that spark because of the short time limit. After wrapping, you and Tom went your separate ways, him to Atlanta to film Spiderman 3, and you back to your hometown for a well-deserved break.

That doesn’t mean you two haven’t stayed in contact though. You and Tom have texted and facetimed almost every day since you parted ways, or as much as his busy filming schedule allows. Throughout this time, however, you never seemed to discuss the obvious love connection between you two. Without actually speaking about it, you both seemed to agree that that conversation would be better to have in person.

This bring us to today, where Tom is backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, anxiously waiting for his interview segment of the show. He picks up his phone and decides to text you before he goes on to settle his nerves, wishing you were here to comfort him in person.

T: Are you watching the show yet?

Y: yep I already have my tv turned to abc! are you going on soon?

T: Yeah, I’m so nervous though

Y: why? you’ve been on the show before and you’re like amazing at interviews

T: Idk, Jimmy just said “be ready for a surprise” and he looked really suspicious so I’m scared

T: I just hope they don’t bring like Jennifer Aniston out or something because I would totally freeze and make a fool out of myself

Y: lmao that would be kinda funny tho, but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about

T: Okay we’ll see haha

T: Gtg I’m on in 10, I’ll facetime you after I’m done!

Y: kk, good luck tommy :)

T: Ahh thank you!!

What Tom doesn’t know is that you are ten times more nervous than him. While he’s under the impression that you’re sitting on your living room couch watching the show, you are actually in the dressing room down the hall from him.

Last month, when Tom told you he was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel to promote Cherry, you had the idea to surprise him. You emailed Jimmy not expecting a response, but to your surprise, he actually emailed you back and loved your idea.

So, here you are, waiting backstage and shaking with anticipation to surprise Tom. To be completely honest, you’re even more nervous now that you know Tom is expecting some big star like Jennifer Aniston, who you know has always been his biggest celebrity crush. But nonetheless, you shake off the nerves as best as you can, just hoping everything goes well.

“Please welcome our first guest… Tom Holland everyone!” you hear Jimmy’s voice over the speaker in your dressing room.

Now that Tom is on stage, you can safely leave the room without him seeing you, and you head to the side stage, waiting for your cue.

Tom and Jimmy talk about Cherry for a few minutes, and you can’t help but admire him. His voice, his face, his outfit, everything about him is just perfect. And even better, he’s here in person, closer than he’s been to you in a long time. It takes every ounce of self-control in you to stop yourself from running onstage and hugging him now. ‘Only a minute longer,’ you tell yourself.

“So, other than Cherry, what other upcoming projects are you working on?” Jimmy inquires onstage.

Almost there…

“Well, as most of you know,” Tom addresses the audience, “I’m filming Spiderman 3 right now, which has been going brilliantly. It’s definitely going to be the best one of all the Spiderman movies I’ve done. And I just wrapped on a film called Uncharted a few months ago in Berlin, which was so much fun.”

“Ooh, Uncharted, tell us more about that!"

“Yeah, well it’s based on the video game, and I play the main character, Nathan Drake, who’s on a quest throughout the film. It’s a lot like Spiderman in a way, with all the stunts and stuff, and I think it’s going to turn out great, I can’t wait to see it finished.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun! And if I’m not mistaken, you seem to have met a certain Y/N Y/L/N while filming?”

“Oh, Y/N, yeah, she’s great,” he starts to gush, and you immediately smile, “we became friends super fast, and I miss her so much. I wish she could be here right now, but she’s watching from home actually, so hey Y/N!” he looks directly at the camera and waves, as if he’s waving to you through the screen.

That’s your cue. You tiptoe onstage behind Tom, trying your best to shush the immediate gasps from the audience.

“Well Tom,” Jimmy smiles, “I think your wish may have come true.”

“Huh?” Tom looks around, confused, until his eyes land on you, and he completely freezes.

“Hey Tom,” you smile.

“Y/N! Holy shit! You’re here, you’re actually here!” he exclaims, not caring that he just cursed on live TV.

Tom immediately springs off the couch and sprints to you, arms outstretched. As soon as he reaches you, he picks you up in a tight hug and spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down, but still keeps you in a tight embrace, not pulling away until neither of you can breathe. He steps backwards to take you in, still trying to fathom that you’re actually here, with him, after all this time.

“Y/N, wha-, how? I thought you were at your house!” Tom can barely form a sentence, smiling wider than ever and completely out of breath.

“Eh, my house was boring. I thought it would be more fun here with you,” you smile.

He pulls you in again, whispering, “I missed you so fucking much.”

“You have no idea,” you whisper back, resting your forehead on his.

The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment, it’s like you are the only two people in the world. You both start to lean in, lips almost touching, when Jimmy interjects.

“Alright, you two, while that was very sweet, we do still have the rest of the show to get through, so why don’t you come sit down,” Jimmy laughs, bringing you and Tom back to reality.

“Right, of course,” Tom responds, trying his best to keep cool in front of the audience.

Tom ushers you to the couch, keeping one hand on the small of your back as he follows you. He keeps his arm around you when you sit, staying as close to you as possible without raising any more suspicions from the audience.

“So, you two, huh?” Jimmy smirks.

“What? Oh, no, Jimmy, we- we’re just friends,” you laugh trying your best to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.

“I don’t know, that seemed like a little more than just friend behavior to me over there,”

“What do you expect, I haven’t seen her in half a year!” Tom exclaims, saving you from more embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, fine. Just friends,” he turns to the camera and winks, earning laughs from the audience.

“Anyways Y/N, we already talked about Tom, so tell us about you! How was your experience filming Uncharted?” thankfully, Jimmy moves on.

“Well, up until this point I had only really done small indie films, so it was definitely a major change. But Tom was so nice in helping me and it actually turned out to be such an amazing experience, probably the most fun I’ve ever had filming a movie…”

You go on for a few more minutes, talking to Jimmy about your role in Uncharted and your career in general, exchanging small glances with Tom, who just sat back and listened, completely entranced by you.

“Alright, well thank you so much for coming Y/N, it was great to have you! I’m afraid I have to keep Tom for a few more minutes for our next segment, but you’ll have him all to yourself soon enough,” Jimmy smiles.

You laugh, “Thank you so much for having me Jimmy, it was such a pleasure!”

You stand up and hug both Jimmy and Tom, giving Tom a small peck on the cheek before you walk offstage, waving to the audience as you leave.

You smile all the way back to your dressing room, completely overjoyed that you were successful in surprising Tom. As soon as you sat down on the small couch, not even two minutes after you walked offstage, your phone starts blowing up with notifications.

You see that your best friend texted you, so you check that first.

BFF: so you and tom huh? girl why didn’t you tell me?????

Y: what no???

Y: we’re just friends!!

BFF: that’s not what literally all of twitter thinks

Y: wdym? they don’t know anything

BFF: go check rn, i’m telling you they’re going batshit crazy over you two

You check Twitter and immediately see the fans already going crazy over you and Tom.

“just friends”????? bullshit did y’all see the way they almost KISSED?????

TOM AND Y/N I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP

did y’all see the way tom looked at y/n? he’s totally in love omg

UGH I’M SO JEALOUS AKSDHJSAHDSHD I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD

they’re so cute help omg

THE WAY Y/N FLEW OUT TO CALIFORNIA JUST TO SURPRISE TOM??? JUST FRIENDS MY ASS

Were you really being that obvious? You quickly call your friend, looking for some advice on what to do, and she picks up right away.

“Okay you were right, they’re going absolutely insane,” you start.

“I mean what do you expect y’all almost kissed on live tv!”

“Shut up.”

“Come onnnnn Y/N, I know you like him and he obviously likes you too so just talk to him! You already know that you two would be the cutest fucking couple ever. Plus you already have the approval of twitter what more could you need?”

You laugh, but you’re still hesitant.

“I don’t know, what if he doesn’t like me back?

“HE. ALMOST. KISSED. YOU. ON. LIVE. FUCKING. TELEVISON. I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK BITCH!”

“Okay first of all we didn’t almost kiss, and second of all I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus how would I even tell him?”

“Okay YES YOU DID ALMOST KISS! And this isn’t middle school! Just tell him how you feel.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?”

You whip around and see Tom standing at your dressing room door.

“Fuck I gotta call you back,” you whisper, quickly hanging up the phone.

You turn back to Tom, still standing in the doorway.

“How much of that did you hear?” you ask, blushing profusely.

“Um, all of it I think,” Tom looks down and you immediately start to freak out.

Tom, however, looks back up at you and smirks.

“So you like me huh?”

You stay silent for a moment, a billion thoughts running through your head. You contemplate denying it and staying just friends with Tom. But then you think back to what your best friend told you just a second ago.

“Just tell him how you feel.”

“Yeah Tom. I like you. And not as a friend. This isn’t really the way I intended on telling you, and I get if you don’t feel the same way, but the way I feel about you isn’t just platonic. There’s a connection between us that I felt since the day we met and I can’t help but think that you feel it too. And then today it just got, like, ten times stronger and I-“

Tom promptly cuts you off by cupping your jaw and placing his lips on yours, sending a rush throughout your entire body. His lips feel like heaven, moving ever so gently against yours, and again, it feels like you two are the only people on Earth. The kiss is warm and loving, and although it doesn’t last long, the moment has already been engraved in your mind for eternity.

He pulls back, looking into your eyes, making sure he hasn’t made a mistake, but you only stare back at him ten times more lovingly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he whispers.

“Me too,” you whisper back.

He takes your hands in his, “Y/N, I do feel that connection, and I want us to be more than just friends. I always have.”

As much as you are relieved that Tom feels the same way, you can’t help but worry.

“What about the distance? Are you sure we can handle that?”

“Of course we can,” Tom assures you, “I don’t care how far away we are from each other, I love you, and I’m never letting any amount of distance take that away.”

“But these past few months have been so hard without you, and we haven’t even been dating, I just- I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Then move in with me. Come to London and live with me!”

“Okay,” you grin.

“Wait, really?” Tom questions, taken aback.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, obviously we won’t be able to be together all the time because of our jobs, but it’ll be the closest thing.”

“Are you sure? That’s a big commitment to move that far.”

“I’m positive Tom. You’re my best friend, and now, I guess you’re my boyfriend,” you giggle, “I love you too, and I want to be with you, even if that means moving thousands of miles to London.”

Tom smiles, “You called me your boyfriend.”

“Shut up you dork, come here.”

You pull him in for another kiss, still feeling like you’re floating. Your lips once again move perfectly together, as if they’re made for each other. You’re completely consumed in him, and him in you, and in this moment, you know that he is the only one for you. In this moment, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and only him, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

~~~~~~~~

Taglist: add yourself to my taglist here!

Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you :(

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[teddy06writes]

A Night In Las Vegas

requested by this anon: “I had the BEST idea: CC!Quackity came up with the idea of his Las Nevadas character arc after going to Las Vegas and meeting Reader there. Maybe one night the reader decides to go and twitch and finds quackity doing a lore stream and the reader is like: no way, it’s the guy I met in Vegas.”

{I love this concept, sorry it took so long for me to get out}

Quackity x reader

trigger warnings: some swears

premise: after getting ditched by your friends on the last night of your long weekend in vegas you run into a very interesting guy who doesn’t hesitate to befriend you. But what happens months later when he still seems to be running circles in your mind?

{covid don’t exist here, no sir}

{for the sake of the story, readers favorite color is blue, if its not, either pretend it is, or get over it}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10:34pm

“You can’t just- you can’t kick me out!” You yelled. 

Your bestfriend laughed, “Just find somewhere to go for a few hours! Me and Hunter want alone time!” 

“A few fucking hours!?! Seriously?!” But your duffle bag had already been thrown at your feet, and the hotel door room was swinging closed, muffled giggles coming from inside.

Groaning, you picked up your bag, where were you supposed to go now? 

“Not that I was like- listening in or anything- but damn that sucks.” 

You jumped turning to see a man with black hair sticking out of his beanie standing in front of the door diagonal from yours. 

“Uh- yeah. Last night in Vegas and I get ditched for a random hook up,” You scoffed, “I should’ve known it would happen.” 

“That’s not cool, uh- I’m Alex.” He stepped forward, offering his hand. 

Somewhat reluctantly, you shook his hand, “(y/n).” 

He nodded, “I was going to head out for a late night wander, find something to do-, preferably away from all the hookups that seem to be happing around us right now. If you want to come.” 

You glanced around, “Seriously?” 

“Oh- god that did sound kinda creepy didn’t it,” Alex scrubbed a hand over his face, “Sorry- I- you can just forget about this then-” 

“No! I mean- You don’t seem like a rapist or anything. I’ll come with.” 

He grinned, “Poggers, you can, leave that, in my room, if you want. Just seems like a pain to lug around everywhere.” 

You bit your lip, “Leaving my belongings in a strangers room while I go with said stranger to find something interesting to do, sure- why not?”

~~

10:57pm

Somehow, you found yourself wandering out of the hotel lobby, and onto the crowded streets along side Alex. 

“So.... whats your favorite color?” He asked as you walked.

You laughed, “What?” 

“We’re like, total strangers- it was a question, to get to know you.” He tucked his hands into his pockets. 

“Oh, well-” before you could finish your sentence, there was a large amount of gasps and yells from the crowd in front of you.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked quietly. 

You craned your neck to look over the crowd, gasping, “The water show! With the fountains outside of Caesar’s Palace!” You grabbed his hand, tugging him with you to push through the crowd, “This was the whole reason I agreed to this trip- but we never got to it!” 

You shoved your way through the crowd until you got to the front, pressing against the barrier to watch the fountain display. 

“Holy shit.” You heard him mutter from beside you. 

You grinned, “It’s impressive right?” 

“Imagine the coding it would take to get those things to stay on time.” 

~~

11:27pm 

After the show had ended, you had kept wandering for a while, up the strip, asking various questions back and forth. 

You had found out that he was a Minecraft youtuber and a law student, though you’d had to admit, you weren’t too knowledgeable on either that subject. 

Now you were both staring up at the Dave and Busters sign, “This is a good idea right?” 

He nodded, “Definitely. Come on, I’d bet I could beat you at skee ball!” 

Laughing, you followed him into the building, and up the stairs toward the arcade entrance, “Your on!” 

After buying the credit cards for access to the games, you grabbed his hand, dragging him over to the skee ball lanes. 

“Lets go!” He shouted, a few minutes later, upon realizing your score was a total of 10 points behind his, “I’m popping off!”

You laughed, “Okay, what game’s next?” 

Nearly an hour later, you had both run out of credits, and laughing, made you way up to the prize area. 

“Do you think its possible to compile our tickets?” He asked. 

“Why?” 

You followed his pointing finger to the large stuffed dragons sitting on one shelf. 

“We need him.” You said immediately.

After picking out a bright red dragon, you began to argue over the name as you made your way to the counter. 

“What about Carl?” You suggested. 

He shook his head, “I have a friend named Karl.” 

“How ‘bout........ Phil?” 

“I also know a Phil.” 

“Hmmmm, what about Sebastian?” 

“He doesn’t look like a Sebastian!” 

You frowned, “Well do you have any ideas then?” 

Alex thought for a moment, “Albert.” 

You looked down at the dragon, “Albert it is.” 

At the counter Alex convinced the reluctant worker to allow you to use both the cards credit totals, and then you went happily on your way out of the building, stopping to take a picture of Albert in front of the sign, which Alex posted to twitter with the comment of, “Look at our son!” 

You’d staid mostly out of frame, but he managed to get about half of your side, since you were the one holding Albert. 

“Do you think any pf the buffets are still open?” Alex asked. 

“I hope so, I’m starving.” You giggled. 

~~ 12:06am

The buffet was somewhat deserted, and you and Alex had grabbed seats in one of the corners after getting plates full of food.

Albert sat on the table between you as you talked. 

“So it’s roleplay- but in Minecraft?” You asked, barley holding back a laugh.

He nodded, chuckling, “It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s like- huge. Especially since technically I’m getting back into the main lore now, with the whole project: vegas thing.” 

“Project Vegas?” You asked. 

He nodded again, “My character, he’s been through almost everything that's happened, and everything always ends to blow up in his face, literally sometimes. He’s built contries from the ground up- as stupid as that sounds- but they always fail, but this one won’t fail.

“I’m partnering with another guy on the server to set up a whole economy, he’s making a bank, and I’m making- well I’m making my own Vegas.” 

You took a sip of your drink, “What’s it going to be called?” 

“I haven’t figured it out yet,” He admitted, “I wanted to just call it Las Vegas but the names already taken.”

With a chuckle you shifted in your seat, “What about....- what about Las Nevada's?” 

He laughed, “I like that.” 

“Tell me more about this server then, I still don’t understand the story.” 

With another chuckle he launched into the story, “Well, it all started when this guy called Wilbur Soot decided he wanted to start a nation....”

~~ 3:18am

“Blue.” 

You were back at the hotel now, still with Quackity, sitting out on the balcony of his room. Some how, you had ended up having some slightly deep talk about life and death and a million other things before lapsing into silence, simply watching the blinking lights of the city. 

“What?” He asked softly. 

“You asked me my favorite color, ten minutes after we met. It’s blue- that's my favorite color.” You shivered against a cold breeze. 

Alex shifted minutely closer, “Why?” 

You shrugged, “It can be so many things. Deep and dark and mysterious but also light like the summer sky and filled with hope. There’s a million shades from happiness to anger, and to everyone it could mean something else.” 

“I like that.” He said quietly. 

~~

7:04am

You yawned, rubbing sleep out of your eyes as the car drew closer to the airport.

Alex tapped on the steering wheel in time with the music, quietly humming along. 

“Oh, I see my friend, they actually waited for me.” You said as the car pulled up to the curb. 

“How considerate.” He chuckled, climbing out of the car. 

You followed suit, retrieving your duffle bag from the back seat. 

“Well, it was cool knowing you Alex.” You said. 

“Likewise.” 

Before you started to walk away you remembered, and quickly turned back to where he was standing, pulling Albert out of your bag, “Here, he’s yours. You spent more tickets on him than I did.” 

He shook his head, “Keep him. I give you full custody of our son.” 

“Oh- okay... bye then.” 

You barley made it a few steps before he was quickly catching up to you, grabbing your arm and spinning you to press his lips on yours. 

“Good luck with your shitty friends.” He breathed, before hurrying back to his car, leaving you flustered and running to catch up to your friend. 

~~

One and A Half Months later

It had been over a month since the Vegas trip, but you still hadn’t gotten Alex out of your head. 

You had clicked, on some level, and the late night conversation you had shared seemed to keep you thinking about him.

Now, you scrolled aimlessly through twitter, checking the trending tags until you came across one called “LAS NEVADAS” 

Now that piqued your interest, and clicking on it, you found posts of people live tweeting an event- no a live stream. And not just any live stream- a Minecraft stream.

Quickly you opened a new tab, pulling up twitch as fast as you could. 

What was the name of his channel? Oh god why did you forget?

Returning to twitter you searched until you found a link, following it to a new twitch tab. 

And there he was. 

The boy who had been doing laps around your mind was actually there, talking to another character. 

“Look Sam, you and me, we could control everything. I need the bank to help fund Las Nevada’s, we can be partners.” 

You sat, watching the stream, enthralled. 

Once it had ended, you still could hardly believe you found him, quickly following another link back to his twitter and opening a direct message. 

Y/n: Um, this is awkward, idk if you remeber this, but we met in vegas, about a month ago, and I had no idea how to find you until the stream today

quackityHQ: uh, hi? 

qusckityHQ: proof?

Quickly you sent him the picture you had taken of him with Albert, 

y/n: uhhh, bam, proof? 

y/n: our son is sitting on my head board right now

quackityHQ: holy shit

[alengmae]

Every Story Is Us (CH 5)

(AN: I was convinced by Jess to post this here. IDK why Jess but you work in mysterious ways. To read this in AO3 and my other drabbles, visit here.)

“What you seek is seeking you.”

~Rumi

Penelope choked on her the tiny sip of wine she took. She started coughing but her date carried on like nothing was amiss.

“Yeah, you remind me so much of her. You should meet Mother. I just know she will love you,” he gushed further. He gave her an expectant grin.

She gaped at him in astonishment. They literally just sat down not fifteen minutes ago, yet he was already talking about her meeting his mother on their first date. She knew it was a bad idea to trust Eloise and Fran’s idea. Tinder dates were really not her style. And, based on her first date, she felt vindicated.

She was about to set the record straight when the server came to their table and took their order. She opened her mouth to speak but her date was a lot faster.

“She’ll have the Steak Diane. You don’t mind me ordering for you, right?” he asked as he turned to her.

Penelope was too dumbfounded to respond. He was hitting all her red flags and he was completely oblivious to her irritation, which was awfully apparent since the server’s professional smile turned into a wince. She only raised her glass of wine to the server, who understood immediately her need for more booze. If the server were considerate, she would bring an entire bottle for her.

“Oh and separate bill,” he added before explaining to her with a hint of condescension, “I like to go Dutch on the first date. You don’t mind, do you? Of course you don’t!”

Honestly, she didn’t mind at all. If anything, she would have insisted on it. She felt that he was the type to lord it over after dinner, expecting for something in return. But the way he went on another tangent about his mother, she just knew she was not going to last the appetizer course.

She cursed Eloise and Fran heavily in her head. They insisted she try out the app and look where it got her. She should have followed Daphne’s instructions, to never get caught up in her younger sisters’ shenanigans. As she listened to her date drone on and on, one thing became clear in her mind. She needed new friends.

Nay, better friends.

She just moved from Ireland to London for work. And she met Eloise, a fellow teacher, not too long ago and they clicked immediately. Soon, she was invited to all their brunches and dinners. She fell in love with her family instantly, all eight of them. Although, there was a Bridgerton brother she has not met yet. Seemingly, that Bridgerton was off traveling the world and was on a lengthy tour this time around. And, if he was anything like his siblings, she knew she would come to love him too. But, right now, that love she felt for all things Bridgerton started to wane. She said she didn’t want a date but no, Eloise and Fran had to drag her kicking and screaming into one.

She was pulled out of her reverie when her date grasped her hand. He gently caressed her with his clammy hand and she nearly shivered from disgust because why was his hand so wet?

“I just knew as soon as I saw your picture you’d be the one. Even mother said you’d be a good wife with your wide-set hips,” he beamed at her.

“Oh my god,” she gasped out loud. She tugged her hand back and excused herself to the restroom. She needed to get out of this date. Never in her life had she felt so uncomfortable. She frantically dialed Eloise to come save her but there was no reception at all. Her annoyance reached an all-time high. Was there a fucking signal blocker installed in this facility? She lingered outside the restroom, hidden by the stately plants decorating the restaurant, and repeatedly scrolled through her phone for a miracle. She was close to screaming in frustration.

It was then she felt a finger lightly poke her back. She swiveled around and saw the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. He was exactly her type: tall, dark and handsome. He was incredibly fit, and wearing clothes that highlighted his muscular body. He had on a sympathetic smile and lips that were begging to be kissed. Well, hello there. Maybe his attractiveness short-circuited her brain because she just stood there gaping at him like an idiot.

“Sorry,” he modestly started, “I couldn’t help but notice. Are you alright?”

Penelope nodded, heat spreading on her cheeks. She must have looked like a mad woman, pacing to and fro in front of the restroom. She smiled weakly at him.

“Are you sure?” He glanced in the direction of her date and she grimaced. Her date was openly picking his nose in public at the moment. Penelope had to close her eyes in an effort not to shudder in repugnance. “Anne told me you might need saving.”

She perked up at the name of her server. She might have found her salvation after all. “I…actually, I might,” she bashfully admitted. “I need rescuing from my date. It’s a Tinder date.” She felt the need to explain why. Obviously, this handsome man in front of her probably think she was crazy for going on this date in the first place. And, just in case he might be interested, she wanted to make herself appear saner.

“No worries. I’m your guy,” he reassured her. When he grinned at her, she swore it went straight between her legs. The pull of her attraction to him was insanely intense. She had never felt anything like this before with other men.

“Colin, by the way,” he held out his hand, which she met coyly. “Penelope.”

She marveled at how long his fingers were compared to hers, how rough his skin was against hers and how dry his hands was compared to her date. Her mind started to wander to more wanton thoughts as he shook her hand. His fingers should be illegal, she mused. When he let go, she already mourned the loss of contact.

“Alright, Penelope. I’ll be your knight in shining armor tonight,” he stated excitedly.

Ugh, and he’s charming too? How the hell was he real?

He urged her back to her date without a game plan, only a wink. She got too pre-occupied with said wink to even ask about how he planned on rescuing her. She reluctantly sat down across her date again.

“You sure took your time there,” her date stated said evenly. “I hate waiting. Be more prudent next time.”

She almost threw the basket of breadsticks to his face. Colin better come right away or else, she will stab the man in front of her in the eye with a breadstick. Before she could openly berate him, Colin marched to their table purposefully. He stopped with a loud dramatic gasp.

“Penelope, how could you?” he bellowed scandalously. “After ten years of marriage, this is what you’re doing?”

“What the fuck…” she mumbled in shock at his theatrical display. Her date appeared to be equally confused at the scene in front of them.

“And you left Colin Jr at home by himself to meet up with this man?” Colin continued his melodrama without pausing. “What does he have that I don’t?”

“Wait, you have a kid?” her date’s furious question jerked her from her bewilderment.

“I-“

“I thought you were a virgin!” he cut her off, for the nth time this night.

“That’s where you draw the line? Me not being a virgin?” her incredulous voice was shrill in affront.

Even Colin stopped with his dramatics with a revolted, “Dude.”

Thankfully, this was the moment her date decided to storm out. “Mother was right, after all. Never trust anyone from the internet,” he spat at her before he left.

Penelope hissed back, “It goes both ways!” She clutched her wine glass and chugged the contents in one go.

Colin took her date’s seat and stared at her, eyes twinkling in amusement.

She glared at him. “And you, Colin Jr really?” she asked with a huff.

“I got carried away. You should have seen your face!” He laughed out loud. But she had a sneaking suspicion that he planned it all from the start. She supposed, once that her outrage had passed, it was hilarious. She started giggling with him.

He was about to stand when the food came out, along with a bottle of wine. Penelope stopped him from leaving. “It’s a shame to waste all these food I’d end up paying for. And really want to thank you for saving me from that horrible date.”

He appeared hesitate so she added further, “After ten years of marriage, this is the least I could do.”

He laughed out loud again. It definitely was her libido acting up because she felt herself swoon slightly to his baritone laughter. She found herself wondering if he had a Tinder account. He gestured for her to pick which plate was hers. She gratefully took her previous date’s salmon dish and pushed the steak towards him. They ate, happily chatting about everything under the sun. He regaled her with stories of his vast travels, one story similarly exciting as the next. She offered her childhood tales from her Irish motherland. He started talking about his work, and how he just came back from Morocco after missing his boisterous family. And she started opening up about her insecurity of being in an unfamiliar country all by herself. He held her hand in consolation as she admitted succumbing to homesickness sometimes. He comforted her by recounting comical anecdotes from his travels.

If she was awestruck by his good-looks, she was even more enamored by his wit and sense of humor. He made her laugh so hard but he also made her think. There was nothing sexier than a sharp intellect. He was becoming more dangerous to her as more times passed.

They stayed together until it was closing time. And she barely noticed the passage of time. It wasn’t until Anne cleared her throat in front of them that they noted that they were the only patrons in the restaurant left. She awkwardly asked for the cheque but Colin stopped her.

“This one’s on me, Anne.”

Their server nodded and bid them a good night before leaving.

“What? Wait, Anne!” She tried stopping her but her pleas fell on deaf ears. “I was supposed to treat you,” she grumbled lightly to Colin.

He shrugged. “How can I ask the mother of my child, Colin Jr, to pay for our date?”

She paused, blushing profusely. “Even if she dared to date someone else tonight?” she teased playfully.

He leaned in, whispering conspiratorially, “Even when she tried to date someone else tonight. And might I add, she looks absolutely lovely tonight.”

Smooth like fucking butter. Her face must be red as a tomato right now, she reckoned. “Well, Colin Jr’s dad is not bad looking either.”

He beamed at her. She wanted to look away because he was too beautiful, it’s just not right. But he gently grasped her hand and asked softly, “Can I have your number? I really liked our time together and I really like you.”

“I like you too,” she replied, breathless.

He started leaning towards her, eyes locked on her lips. She did the same, magnetically slanting her body closer to his. Just when they were a fraction of an inch away, the kitchen door busted open with Anne bustling out.

“Boss, do you want-oops! My bad!” She retreated as fast as she came.

Damn it, Anne! Her scowl must have been a sight since he started chortling. He kissed the back of her hand reverently after to assuage her.

“Wait, she said boss?”

It was his turn to be sheepish. “I own this place.”

She blinked. That explained his intervention. “I clearly chose the wrong place to cheat on Colin Jr’s father.”

“I don’t know. I thought you were at the perfect place and time. I think I’m plenty lucky tonight,” he said sincerely.

She didn’t think she should voice out that if he kept on being sweet like that, he will get even luckier tonight. She only replied, “I’m glad.”

She exchanged numbers with him eagerly before bidding him a good night. But before she could step out from the restaurant, he gathered her in his arms and crashed his lips against hers. And it was magic and satisfaction and bliss and release all rolled into one. She clung to him, desperate against the tide of overwhelming emotions. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she was completely swept away. It felt as if she would come undone with just a flick of his tongue. When they broke apart, they were gasping for air and sporting giddy grins.

“Good night, Colin,” she called out sweetly.

“Good night, Penelope.”

She didn’t sleep at all that night. The butterflies in her stomach were too flighty. And her excitement could not be abated, even as she knew she was attending a Bridgerton brunch the next day. She was groggy when she came in but a smile could not seem to leave her face.

Eloise pulled her aside to interrogate her about her Tinder date last night but the flurry of excitement filled the room. Everyone was enthusiastic for some reason. “The long lost Bridgerton is finally coming home. The prodigal son has returned,” Eloise said wryly. But Penelope detected her friend’s delight beneath all the sarcasm.

“Oh, that’s good,” she could not help but mirror her friend’s pleasant demeanor. She was already riding the high from last night. Another cause for celebration was just the cherry on top.

“Yeah, apparently he came back yesterday from Morocco in secret so he could surprise us. But Hyacinth still can’t keep her trap shut, ruining the surprise.”

“Morocco?”

It was then that she heard a familiar voice bellow out his greetings. She whipped her head fast and her eyes met his across the room. It was cliché but she would swear to anyone who would listen that at that moment, time slowed down. When their eyes met, it felt like nothing else mattered. And her heart leapt in anticipation as he crossed the sea of people to meet her.

“Penelope?”

“Colin.”

“You two know each other?” Eloise asked, awed.

She smiled brightly, eyes locked onto Colin. “Of course! We’ve been married, what…ten years now?”

He snickered harder upon seeing everyone’s bewildered faces. “Colin Jr missed you last night.”

Eloise interrupted again, “Is he talking about his dick?”

Penelope chose to ignore her friend now that Colin intertwined his hand with hers. “Did he now? I should go visit him some time.”

“I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic with your visit.”

“So how does tonight sound?” she asked, playful in her inquiry but nervous with his answer.

He kissed the back of her hand sweetly. “Perfect. I know a place. They serve the best Steak Diane.”

She laughed.

[bruhmoment27]

first and prob only post, throwing my thoughts into the world:

watched tubbo's stream first, was really pleased (especially as a manifold enjoyer). my bar was low but i think tubbo and jack knocked it out of the park, and it left me excited and curious to watch tommy to see where he was

tommy stream thoughts: bruh. seeing discourse over tommy forgiving dream and like... yeah. him asking dream about his perspective was just to buy time, that's fine and allows dream to finally monologue to the audience for a bit since he doesn't have his own streams to do it. and then tommy dies, sees a time when dream was happy, and just...

there was an attempt. saying "i see why you're upset and i apologize for upsetting you, but torturing+killing me is not ok" was an attempt. i find that perfectly okay. understanding but not forgiveness. but then they go "lets leave and be friends now :)" and i don't think that's okay. and its ok for people to forgive abusers irl, but this was such a bad choice to make. tommy literally listed all the bad things dream did like 5 minutes prior, dude was literally KILLED like a minute ago. also hasn't dream said in the past his whole motivation is just cause he wants to?? what does chasing tommy through the woods threatening to kill+revive him, what does turning quackity's best friend against him just to make his death more awful, what does manipulating/killing/threatening sam, have anything to do with making friends and making it simple again?

i viewed the "im sorry" at the end not as an apology for upsetting dream, but for nuking him (tommy only started aplogizing as he realized the nuke was approaching). he wasn't happy to kill dream in the first place, and i think the understanding he reached made him change his mind but it was too late.

also ever since the plan was made i thought tommy was going to lure punz and dream into the prison; them being there from the beginning makes all the sacrifice and death feel completely worthless. just a small thing i would change. and jack messing with the nukes but them going to the prison anyway felt like a cheap way to get everyone to die. and by "them" i mean either the nukes or tubbo+jack, either way works lol. i like tubbo and jack going to the prison to try to rescue tommy but realizing he's not there. that's what i thought was happening but tommy was there anyway??

also also: i interpreted the season 2 tease as completely different characters, not an amnesia thing. i really hope its not an amnesia thing that would suck lol

i got into the dsmp because i wanted to understand all of the amazing artwork and animations people were making. i've stayed because i want to understand all the amazing work people are creating. i have such admiration for all the people who have poured so much time and love into creating for this fandom. and i thank you.

don't plan on watching season 2 but if there's cool fanart ill watch it :I

manifold enjoyers won today, dsmp enjoyers lost

edit: went back and saw tommy said "im sorry" before the nukes came, woops. idk what to say about that

[djarrex]

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M

[vtforpedro]

health update - long post

hi everyone! I think it's been a month and a half or so since my last update I saw a rheumatologist, had MRIs done, and got my results back from my hematologist SO cancer: still undetectable in my blood, check every 3 months and hope it doesn't show up for a long time lol \o/ I don't think I can say I'm in remission until a certain amount of time has passed but I hope I can say that one day MRIs: actually show some possible improvement with the chiari and spinal fluid flow? and if there IS improvement (like the radiologist who wrote the report had the MRI from a year ago as reference and his findings were all 'normal' compared to april 2020, but it was hard to get an answer out of my neurologist and neurosurgeon if there was solid evidence of physical improvement). but yeah IF there's improvement, that is highly indicative of IIH because my neurosurgeon told me when people with IIH lose weight, the chiari often corrects itself because there's less pressure and more room in the skull for the cerebellar tonsils to be in a normal position. regular chiari that you're born with doesn't do that lol so if there IS improvement with weight loss, then yeah, IIH. even if they don't wanna put in the diagnostic code for it without a lumbar puncture sigh lol I hate typing this because I'm so paranoid it'll all go to shit if I talk about it, but there have been improvements as I've lost weight. I seem to have a couple weeks where my head isn't so severe, mostly manageable with a few awful days. then I'll have a few weeks of it being Really Really bad with a few not-so-awful days. which IIH can do this sort of 'remission' thing but considering it was like 24/7 with no breaks for a year I'd say this is moving in the direction I want it to completely changed my diet a handful of months ago and adjusting it still to be even healthier/more fulfilling. I started using the Noom app (paid sub version) cause it's so focused on psychology instead of 'dieting' and building habits that are sustainable in the long, long-term. I really love it so far. the routine of doing it at the same time every day has already made me feel better mentally about my weight loss journey despite my struggles with losing weight, I am officially down 20lbs \o/ they say for improving/curing IIH, you need to lose 10-20% of your body weight. well, 10% down! time to lose another 20, but I don't find it intimidating and I'm not dreading it. it's hard to have hope, especially on really bad weeks, but I'm taking it one day at a time. definitely not cured but I'm aiming for 40lbs more (so 60 altogether) and by then, maybe, just maybe.... rheumatologist/autoimmune disorder results: so I went to a rheum cause I got that positive autoimmune disorder blood test with the possibility of lupus or scleroderma. she said that she gets so many hematology patients because leukemia and lymphoma have blood antibodies, so it will almost always show up as positive on this antibody test and most people actually won't have an additional autoimmune disorder. I don't have a lot of symptoms of lupus or scleroderma according to her, so she told me don't worry about autoimmune disorders for three months. don't think about them. we'll repeat labs then and see what they say. so that's good news so far and I hope it remains that way 15%+ of the population will test positive on the same test without having any health issues, which I found interesting. and I asked since I already have an autoimmune disorder, tho it's endocrine versus rheumatic, if that would also trigger a positive result and she said yes it would! so yeah... I hope by late July I can still say I don't have an additional autoimmune disorder I see a gastroenterologist tomorrow for the bloating/abdominal pain and other stuff I've been having. I have a feeling I'll be given some antacids (or w/e they're called when it's prescription strength) and that will improve. but jfc I'm up to eight specialists now lol NINE doctors are following my health god it's such a shitty feeling especially when I can barely trust any of them. at

least they all believe me now, but it cost me my quality of life and mental health to even get to this point so I'm still feeling pretty fucking bitter and angry about it all you know what's really hard about completely changing my diet + starting new medications/supplements? for some reason at the beginning of all of this when I was experiencing repeated trauma at the ER, my brain developed a phobia of allergic reactions, despite the fact that I've never had one for food/medicine (I'm talking anaphylactic reactions). so now every single new thing I eat, every new med or supplement, I go through panic attacks for days on end thinking I'm going to die before it starts easing. also, anxiety makes your throat feel like it's closing up and that it's harder to breathe already so lmao fun times. I literally never thought about this in all my life and I never even experienced an allergic reaction to develop this intense fear, so you know. fuck doctors for putting me through this when it was all so unnecessary sigh anyway. still can't watch videos, tv, movies, read, bend over, walk for longer than 5 minutes, and can't talk for long either because it'll trigger a head episode. I'm terrified I won't be able to do these things ever again, but I'm still aiming for my goal weight no matter what and I know I can get there bouncing between misery and hopelessness, and slightly less misery and some hope right now, but I guess that's better than it's been for a year, right? sorry for rambling. I feel like a lot has gone on but I've also had the biggest gaps between doc appts in a while which is a relief just because I can't stand being in medical buildings or around doctors anymore completely vaccinated too, so that's another relief, but I'm wearing masks until americans get their heads out of their asses and we start seeing little to no community spread cause I am still immunocompromised. wouldn't it be nice if people like, idk, cared about each other ok sorry! I hope you're all well and healthy and safe. I love you very much and I'm grateful for your support, forever and always! <3