#i literally only listened to it like four times tho WHY IS IT ON MY ON REPEAT.

[astrobei]

one of these things is not like the others.

[devil-in-hiding]

Listen brother you literally singlehandedly turned me into a fuckin Price WHORE how the fuck did this happen how did i fall into this trap 💀 but you did it soooooooo just hear me out... HEAR ME OUT! price, this larger than life man who's dedicated his life to his job, this man who's written off the idea of even thinking about having a family cause he thinks he's past his prime or whatever the fuck and he's stuck in a hard place precisely because he's so proud of his accompliments as a captain while thinking that he's failed as a man at the same time. Then someone assigns him an assistant (see where i'm going with this), trying to slowly ease him into thinking about retirement and he protests so much. It's the nail in the coffin for him. He loathes the mere thought of someone invading his space and making him feel so brittle and incompetent but he doesn't have the authority to reject high command's decisions and so he agrees with gritted teeth and fire in his eyes

Then you show up and you prove to be good at what you do, but you're also everything he's low key ever dreamed of and he's STRUGGLING trying to come to terms with the fact that he'll never have you. That he's too old and that you two are in entirely different stages of your life, that he'd hold you back and that someone else would be far better suited

BUT JUST SPARE THE THOUGHT for him recognizing that you've developed a huge crush on him. Gigantic. You're suddenly so flustered around him, very unprofessional. You mess up constantly but he is by no means mad!!!!!

If anything you made his life so much sweeter omg he's SO cocky about it and he's UNBEARABLE!!! He's the definition of "I still got it ;)" and he's trying to rile you up on purpose... but he'd never go farther than some flirty comments and lingering touches. He's locked in his duty and convinced you'll move on soon. Still flattering tho

But then your crush doesn't fade. It's not going away.

It's. Not. Going. Away!!!!!!

ITS BEEN A FULL YEAR

And he's just "!!!" completely shuts down because why the hell are you still interested in him? Have you seen yourself? Have you noticed the looks you get? The looks HE gets as your boss????

But he's also thinking whether you'd like to be married, whether you'd like to have kids......and soon that's all he thinks about and all he talks about

DO YOU HEAR ME 😭😭😭 sorry this got so fucking long when its so stupid but i needed to say this

anon i love you, this is literally art because yes this is my wavelength of Price x assistant!reader

head over heels for him 10 months in after countless nights of forcing his stubborn ass to go to his quarters and get some sleep after finding him slouched over his desk, hat askew and snoring

early mornings where you are are still bleary eyed and nodding off as you try to write his calendar, only to find yourself on one of the couches a little later, surrounded by the four of them, Price seated next to you, one of HIS blankets draped over you

it’s very much a beautiful sweet cat falling for the old army dog who would bite off anyone’s hand who comes near HIS feline

he truly expects for your feelings to fade one day, more than prepared for you to find a partner, god half the base eyes you up and down as you obediently trot after him, heart in your eyes as you gaze at his strong shoulders

but that day never comes, you’re there every morning with his cuppa and a smile that is just for him, genuine and sweet.

He isn’t sure how he was deemed a worthy enough man for you to enter his life, by he’ll be damned if he lets this slip through his fingers

[scented-morker]

Enha when their actress partner films with a hot actor

jealous boyfriend enha! established relationship, actress reader, 1164 words, requested!!

Heeseung

He pretends he's not phased at all

He knows you love him obviously, you spend like four hours a week crying and telling him how pretty he is and how much he means to you

But that was before he knew it was THE Song Kang

"Baby, he's literally the prettiest person ever!"

"You think he's prettier than me?" You pout

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to"

Homeboy is SWEATING watching you guys film

Literally saying a hallelujah when there's no romance between your characters

But when you come back and tell him he was right that it was the prettiest person ever he gets mad about it

LIKE YOU SAID IT FIRST ???!

But he wants to be the only boy you think is pretty 😔

Won't let you escape his grasp for the next week

Jay

Listen he likes to act all confident, but deep down he is a little bit insecure about his looks

So when you tell him you're filming with one of the actors who made "worlds most beautiful" list

😐 he is not impressed

On the outside he's all "oh that's cool"

But on the inside he's screaming crying throwing up

Wears the outfits he knows make you weak the whole week leading up to it

I'm talking turtle necks, rolled sleeves, rings, all of it 😵‍💫

His masterplan is working, and you get so affectionate you don't even want to leave him to film

He lowkey feels so silly about being jealous when on a film break you bring your costar over and introduce him to "the love of my life Jay"

Jake

Literally SO POUTY

"Noooo, baby do you haveee to??"

Acts like it's the worst thing to ever happen

"What if you just quit your job as an actress?? I can take care of you!! I'll pay for everything!! You'll never have to work again!"

"Jake, I like my job"

"But I thought you LOVED me!"

Insists on going with you to set (also leaves a hickey on you that your makeup artist is very mad about 😭)

You have to ignore him the whole time you're filming because you know he's making those injured puppy dog eyes and you just can't handle it

He literally is hanging out with the actor during one of his breaks tho so ???

He's all "yeah bro you're awesome" so you think it's all good now

But then you go over to them and he gives you the most mind melting, earth shattering, blush inducing kiss ever right in front of your coworker

You will never recover

Sunghoon

Tells you he's more attractive than the other guy 🤪

You tell him because you want to be open and warn him

But he's all "okay and? He's not better than me, why should I be worried?"

You're like wow my boyfriend is so mature and cool

But you realize very quickly that he is, indeed, worried

"Hey y/n, be honest. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?"

"Hey y/n, do you think idols or actors would make better husbands?"

"Hey y/n, do you think onscreen chemistry ever transfers off screen?"

"I prefer whatever color is currently on your head, you over anyone of any profession, and I wouldn't know because I don't need to worry about that seeing as how I'm in a very happy relationship."

He grumbles at your answers, mad you caught on

He's not one for pda but he does bring you a bouquet and your favorite drink to the film sight <3

Sunoo

The guy was one of his favorite actors!!

He was so so excited for you to work with him, until he found out he was your love interest 😐

"YOURE GONNA KISS ANOTHER MAN?!?"

"Sun, he's married." 😒

"YEAH UNTIL HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH YOU AND GETS A DIVORCE!"

He boycotts the actors other shows 😭 whenever you guys hang out and watch dramas together he'll turn it off if the guy comes on screen

Eventually gives up on drama nights and makes you watch a bunch of enhypen performance videos instead

"Wahhh he's so handsome! Even more handsome then that actor, don't you think?"

"Yes Sun, you're way more handsome."

He's fishing for compliments but you don't care, willing to give him all the reassurances you have

You think he's gotten over it by the time filming comes up

But lo and behold... he's sent you an entire coffee truck with pictures of the two of you and messages about your relationship 😭

Jungwon

He wants SO BADLY to be okay with it 🥹

He was so supportive, celebrating with you when you first got the role and now coming to every filming that you have

Except he's noticed the slowly developing love story between you and the hottest guy on the show

So when you get the script for episode ten and read it to him he knows it's coming

"Oh, so you're like... gonna kiss someone else?"

You literally want to burst into tears, he's so precious and he looks like a little sad cat and just- 😭😭😭

"Yeah, but we've both been very open that we have partners! His girlfriend is on set all the time too! And you can totally be there when we film it!"

He shudders, "I'm not sure I want to"

But he goes anyway, and you introduce him to your costars partner

So now they're standing together, making small talk and looking away every time they say action

"I'm gonna need a drink," she mumbled after her boyfriend has to get his makeup fixed because of your lipstick on him

"Yeah, me too"

Riki

Listen, he is your number one fan

He’s seen every episode and won’t let you read him the script because he wants to find out with everyone else

He checks Twitter about it all the time too

So when soompi reports that there’s a new, very attractive guy on set— he sees it immediately

“Hey ynie~ can I come to filming with you?”

You’re so suprised, because he never wants to come with you

“Really? You’re not freaking out about it being spoiled for you?”

“I just want to be with you 🤷🏻‍♀️” he says it so nonchalantly like you’re not literally turning into mush because of it

“Okay!”

So fast forward, your hair and makeup is done, costume on, and you’re finally getting ready to film

You’re on set while the scene before you is shooting, and your boyfriend lets out a gasp

“Who is that shirtless man over there?”

You look over and shrug, explaining the new character

“Why is he shirtless??” Man is so fixated on this

“He’s always like that.”

“WHAT?”

There’s been a shirtless actor walking around you all days of the week and you hadn’t said anything

Steps up the pda immediately, holding your hand during off times and loudly cheering for you during shooting

By the end EVERYONE knew you were dating

[missmielyhoran]

Little Helpers

Harry needs a bit of help, and who's better than his two little gremlins...

90sRockstar!Harry × Reader

A/N- Happens wayyyyyyy long in the future, like at least 10 years after they meet. Harry and reader are in their mid 30s

Only Angel Masterlist // Masterlist

*****

It was your birthday.

And Harry was struggling.

You've been out in New York for last week or so for work while he has been staying home with kids.

To say they're pain in the ass is an understatement, but he made his bed (or hot tub), so he had to lay in it.

Harry was the "fun" parent, to say the least, cause he can't say no, and those gremlins even tho they're only four years old are way too good at getting things their way.

Meanwhile, you knew how to shut down something you knew they didn't need. Like the large Nerf gun, Harry got them in secret and then had to listen to you yell at him while those two giggled from the stairs in timeout.

But that wasn't the problem right now.

The problem was that the house was mess, the kitchen was mess, it was your birthday and he doesn't know how to cook, clean all at the same time while taking care of kids who are already running around in backyard.

It was times like these he was amazed by how his mother, and even you did everything so efficiently. Never once did he saw a thing out of place when you stayed with kids, and he had to go out.

(Maybe cause you made the kids clean up after themselves while he sees one look of their puppy eyes and melts)

He took a deep breath in and called for the kids, "Jack! Soph! come back inside" He yelled, which caught the twins' attention. Their little head snapped towards him, and soon enough, they were running in giggling still in their pjs.

Harry shook his head and walked back inside and saw them talking to themselves. They were literally each others best friends, always attached to the hip, partners in crime, and he hoped they're like this when they grow up.

"Kids, kids and kids!" He announced dramatically. Twins giggled again, "There is only two of us, dada. Why are you saying kids three times?" They looked at each other and laughed again at Harry's trying to be mad face.

"Hey smartasses listen to me." He flicked their head lightly, "It's your maa's birthday today"

The twins' eyes went wide, and then Soph jumped, screaming "birthday" making Harry laugh. "That means we will get cake?" Jack asked his dad.

"You will if you help me" Harry shrugged, "Whoever helps me out the most will get the bigger piece!" Harry said.

Twins looked at each other again and then their dad and nodded their head quickly, "I will help you" Jack said, "Me too" Soph said in tow.

"Well then, let's start with this room. Pick up all your toys and everything else and put them where they should be." He said, walking towards the kitchen sink. It was an open plan, so he could still see the kids while cleaning up the kitchen.

He looked at the clock, and it was still 4 hours left to your arrival. He could do it.

He hopes he can do it.

*****

Harry was surprised and amused when he looked up and saw two heaving toddlers sitting on the ground.

"Well done babies, you did such a great job" He said, squatting down to their level and kissing both of their heads.

"We know" They said together. Harry laughed at that cause even if the kids looked like him, their personality was yours. Sassy, witty and smart for their age.

"We put everything in different boxes so you could see who did more work, and my box is the most filled" Jackson said cockily and Soph rolled her eyes.

"I'm just going to steal more from dad's plate" she said without any care as much as Harry would like to think otherwise it was true. He lost his right to have his own food when he become father and he's okay with it (to certain level). Harry still very much amused with their banter over cake slice, goes to the kitchen, and fetches both of them their water bottles along with a bowl of fruits.

"Why don't you two drink some water and eat all those fruits and then come help me bake the cake?" Harry asked them immediately, getting nods as an answer from hungry babies.

He took out all the ingredients while the kids ate and arranged them, so it was easier for kids to "help" him.

Soon enough, they were all done with their snacks and were standing on the large wooden stool beside Harry, watching him make the cake. Both of them have large chefs hat on and custom matching aprons Harry got for all of them for when they would cook together on Sunday mornings.

He was in the middle of cracking egg when Sophie started to fuss, "Dada I want to do it too!" She said, pouting.

Harry brought the bowl in front of her and stood behind her holding her hand, which had egg in it, and then cracked it open and put it in the bowl. Sophie giggled, finding amusement in cracking eggs, which made Jack feel left out so Harry did the same with him too.

The kids helped him as much as they could, with bringing him stuff, and finally, the cake was in oven.

Jack and Soph sat in front of the oven watching the cake like hawk cause in their words, "we want it to be perfect like maa makes it". Harry cleaned the rest of the kitchen.

"C'mon babies bath time." He announced which much to kids displeasure meant they had to move away from the oven. Harry literally had to drag them upstairs with Soph in his left arm and Jack in right.

"You two are getting heavy for me to pick you up and roam around" he said, groaning at the feeling of back ache rising.

"No, you're just getting old, dada." The twins laughed. Harry rolled his eyes at them and flicked their heads.

"In the bath. Your maa will have my head if you two are dirty" He said, starting the warm bath of them.

*****

There have been times Harry felt proud of himself, and right now, as he watches the clean house, clean kids, and a not burned cake, he feels proud of himself.

Kids were watching TV in the living room when they heard the car pull up in the driveway, and everyone was set on their mission.

Harry quickly lit up all the candles. Meanwhile, kids stood in the position near the door with paper confetti in their hands to throw at you.

Meanwhile, you feel exhausted as you get out of the car. The fashion week of this year was hectic. You were so busy you didn't even remember it was your birthday until you opened he door.

Colorful confetti flew on your face as you heard "happy birthday" in unison. Your kids stood near the door with the biggest smile on their faces with your husband behind them with cake in his hand.

"Omg, thank you so much my little munchkin" you said, sitting down on your knees and pulling twins into tight hugs. All exhaustion and stress were lost as you saw your favorite people.

"Hey, I'm also here." You heard Harry whine, making three of you laugh.

"C'mon maa, we want cake!" Jack said, first making you laugh. You kissed both of their cheeks and stood up, walking towards your husband.

You pecked his lips and smiled, "Thank you, baby." you said with a warm smile matching his. "My absolute pleasure angel" He said, kissing you again.

"Those gremlins helped me, or I was ready to have a panic attack this morning," he said, chuckling.

You brought the cake to the kitchen, Harry stood beside you his arms around your waist, and kids stood on the stool on your other side.

"Maa make a wish!" Soph said. You nodded and wished for your family to stay just like this forever and blew the candles. Jack and Soph clapped while Harry leaned down and kissed your cheeks.

Cake slices were cut and put in plate for all four of you and as you and Harry stood in the kitchen with your head on his shoulder watching your kids banter over who's slice is bigger you never felt more content.

This is all you ever wanted.

*****

I think they're my favorite couple after Harry and Autumn.

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515 @yeehawbrothers @sleutherclaw @ikea2-0 @thechaoticjoy @astridcommings @grapejuicebluesrry @gxbiqs

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Tell me if you liked this or just talk to me cause trust me I love it, here♡

[fryingpan1234567]

listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone

anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans

(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)

Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home

I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood

Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong

COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏

HELP

No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting

(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)

After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful

Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you

Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen

Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years

He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff

Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful

Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal

The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay

God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.

There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time

Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself

On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving

Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person

Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes

(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)

Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners

“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“

Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out

“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”

Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”

“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”

The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.

”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“

No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it

Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard

Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me

He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER

Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.

It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good

Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it

Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things

Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room

Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever

gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)

good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this

[cocogum]

My honest reactions of episodes 5 and 6 (part 2)

PART 1 : HERE

(‼️ SEASON 4 SPOILERS ‼️)

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Okay I just HAD to devote the full Alibert inn scene from episode 5 here CUZ WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YUGO GOING BACK TO EMELKA!! I know I already mentioned Chibi and Grougal (as well as the tree Tofu tower) in part 1 but part 2 will basically be about all the rest of the inn scene cuz tumblr couldn’t let me have more than ten images per post (I know the site apparently lets u have more but I always use the phone for it so shush.)

But first, we finally get to see Alibert again after all those years 💕

Alibert. Sweetie. Baby. You can take care of two (technically four) kids with the addition of a freaking INN, you COOK for the customers, AND, ON TOP OF ALL THAT, you’re the MAYOR of EMELKA, that same place where you run the inn and take care of your adopted sons.

You do much more than just “taking care of an inn”, you got three jobs AND you’re still sane. You’re three in one, a whole package, props to you king. He’s such a boss ass man I love him 💕💕

NAH MAN

Not these ppl trying to avoid the inflation 😭😭 I don’t blame them tho. I would’ve said the same thing lol.

(Also is the wine a call back to Gustavio? Plz it would be so funny if the reason why Alibert is angry is cuz these ppl are saying how “bad” it is just so the prices can stay the same but also because he’s mad that they’re calling Gustavio’s wine “disgusting” even if they were all just trying to make him not raise the prices!)

Love how Yugo doesn’t say that same shit to Ruel after all those years of cooking for his ass and never getting anything from him.

Like even the whole Brotherhood calls Ruel a “cheapskate” but the only time where we see Yugo say that same shit is when he says that to his own CUSTOMERS?!?

Gurl bye Yugo’s such a silly little hypocrite!! 😭😭

OMG THE WHOLE FAMILY’S BACK TOGETHER!!

Adamaï get your stupid lizard ass over here.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen these two just laughing and hugging like this 💕💕💕

Also, Ankama tried being very slick with Az and his wife.

Nah cuz how can you not see these two and not think about Yugo and Amalia?? Does the thought never come to mind or what??

They literally give off the same energy, how did no one say anything before???!!?

THESE LITTLE TOFUS ARE OBVIOUSLY A SILLY PARALLEL TO THESE TWO AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE.

Okay now the next part of the Alibert inn scene is very important to me so listen.

Recently, I came scrolling on @moths-are-better’s recent posts about Yugo and I came up on the one where he drinks the “milk” that was in the cup in the scene below.

But like-

@moths-are-better STOP LYING TO YOURSELF THIS IS CLEARLY WINE!!!

Look at all the other people drinking in the inn before they left: they all had that same kind of cup, insinuating that they were drinking wine (and also cuz they confirmed it was wine while trying to avoid any possible future inflations with Alibert).

I just love how Ankama deliberately shows us small scenes like this to remind us that Yugo can do adult things even though he looks like a kid. Because THIS is one of those scenes! Just look at how Alibert quietly pulls the cup of wine away from Yugo as soon as the guy starts ranting about his problems.

That’s clearly not milk lol I just love your delusions @moths-are-better 💕💕

But not only did this scene made me realize that nothing can stop Yugo from doing adult things despite how he looks, it also helped me realize that Yugo is the type to only drink when he’s having problems. We clearly see him about to drink more while ranting to Alibert before he carefully pulls the wine away from Yugo cuz he KNOWS Yugo would drink more just for that.

That level of attention to detail is amazing and I’m so glad I managed to catch up to the hints early on.

Alibert be looking like Yugo’s bartender AND therapist in just that moment alone lol

Ngl I would’ve loved to see a drunk Yugo if he had been able to drink more before Alibert intervened.

‼️ EVERYONE ‼️

👏 BE👏 LIKE 👏 ALIBERT 👏 ❤️❤️

This is making me wanna have kids too man….

His caring and calming attitude towards Yugo and the way he just treats him, cares for him, and acts like a responsible parent during all these years really makes me wanna do the same thing someday. Alibert is so good at his job(s) that he’s even beating a freaking goddess. Let that sink in. (actually any good parent like Alibert would beat the Eliatrope goddess’ parenting easily lol)

Alibert is genuinely so sweet, patient, thoughtful, and understanding of Yugo. Like even though he just heard Yugo say he finally found his true family, Alibert doesn’t take his words as insults and would rather just let him spill out all of his words to him.

When I said I missed these two like this, I really meant it. This inn is not only where Yugo was raised in but it’s also Yugo’s comfort place.

My ass knows this is foreshadowing.

It just knows.

Older Yugo where u at? We need to talk.

Ankama’s gonna ruin this family and laugh about it while eating some croissants.

[smuttyaf]

SouthSide Serpent

Word Count: 4.8k

Rating: R

features; childhood friends to lovers, loverboy ashton, literally ashton has been pining for y/n, & sum good old smut :)

a/n: idek what to say but hi! i’ve been in retirement for like 4 years and rediscovered this account. i got nostalgic & decided… shit why not write again?

please cut me sum slack tho! i wrote this on my notes app & it’s been years since i’ve written so i would love to hear feedback!

& yes i am hella descriptive and like to build suspense! i can’t help it >.<

also! y/n is heavily based on serena from mtv downtown ( i love her ) & this picture of ashton ( xx )

-

The crisp October breeze blew through your hair as the dull taste of your cigarette burns on your tongue; your forefinger and middle finger clenching the nicotine filled paper and pressing it against your lips, drawing in the vapour.

Your head nods along to the music playing before you just two doors down on the opposite side of your street. There was Ashton and his band, either playing covers of their current favourite songs, oldies, or new ones that they’ve all come together and created.

The usual guitar flow and drum beat of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted through the speakers in the garage as the sound of Luke’s voice sang along on top of the tune.

You hum along to the lyrics as you glared in the direction, your lips peeling away from the filter and letting the smoke settle in your lungs before releasing it. The four boys were all dressed in their usual attire: white shirt, black trousers, beat up old chunky Doc Martins, and their signature SouthSide Serpents leather jackets.

As the wind picks up again you let your free hand tear away from your windowsill and tug the flying strays of your hair in front of your face behind your ear, the chipped black polish on your almond nails coming into view as you remind yourself you needed to get them done.

The bridge of the song is now blaring down the street, causing you to raise your cigarette back to your lips and think to yourself, what a coincidence this song is playing; the lyrics, the time frame, and the memories that all come flowing back as you hear the familiar melody.

It was 2009 and Ashton had invited you over during Christmas break to play Garage Band since Santa gifted it to him because that was the only thing he asked for on his wish list. You were both 8, banging on the drums and singing songs that you both were too young to know or remember from when your parents would play them on the drive home from school. But, for some reason this is the song that stuck with you both the most. Maybe it was the easy lyrics or the amazing beat but from then on it had you hooked to this alternative sound.

Now fast forward to a year ago, your now ex boyfriend Xavier was laying on your bed, finger pads heavy weight on your skin as he drew sloppy hearts on your hip. The wire of the headphones tangled between your shoulder and his wrist as you both listened to his playlist. The familiar intro notes to the song beginning to ring throughout the buds and the tug of your maroon lined lips turn into a smile.

“Already like the song?” He asked, brown eyes rested on top of dark circles scattered with freckles as he smirked down at you.

“I love it.” You sheepishly said.

The wind knocks you back into reality as it pushes through your window again, only making you remember how much you loved October; the weather changing, leaves blooming, smell of the rain just before it hit the concrete, the sound of the leaves dragging along the pavement, and the endless horror movie marathons that would run on AMC.

The orange, brown, and green leaves spin in the breeze and rustle along the branches as the sun stood brightly among the houses along the horizon. From your view on the windowsill you can see houses upon houses before you see the local water tower and old plazas that scream they need new merchant signs and fresh cement.

Your eyes flick to the lonesome string popping out of your black long sleeve before the sound of your phone’s text tone goes off, your eyes darting to the message running across the screen.

Stop watching me

Ashton’s text read, making you roll your eyes before placing them on the dark hair boy who had a goofy grin on his face from your view, his drum sticks were stuffed in one had and the other held his lit up phone.

With a smile on yours, you let the hand that rested in the crook of your neck tear away from the warm flesh and your middle finger stand in the air as a response.

-

Clothes were thrown in every direction of your room as you let your eyes drag along your frame in the mirror, your loose knitted black sweater hung off one of your shoulders as low waisted charcoal jogging pants rested on your hips. Your hair was in its loose waves as your curtain bangs swept against your temples, your fingers curling into themselves in frustration as you tried to not stress over how you look.

You didn’t want to over enhance your appearance to see Xavier since he wanted to meet up to get “closure” -even though he was the one who called it off despite your many pleas- but you wanted to make him feel bad for even deciding to drop you.

A frustrated sigh left your wine stained lips before turning around and sticking your feet into your ruined Converse. The low muffled sound of Xavier’s Prelude is heard out your window and you feel your heart drop.

You never understood why you always felt this way about him and why you couldn’t just get over this stupid boy who likes to break up with you every other month, a new reason every single time. The constant tears, text threads, and blocking to unblocking seemed to never get exhausting to you because you were always back in the same place, wondering if you overdressed to see your ex for closure.

The chime of Xavier’s specific text tone rings through your room and you already know what it says, so without checking you twisted your foot into your shoe to fit perfectly before you reach over and grasp your phone in your hand and tug your way to the window sill. Fingers pressing the frame up and letting the fall air sweep into your room before crouching down and fitting yourself through the frame and safely scale down the roof, onto the sturdy vine wall filled with dead clematis that prickled on your palms the way down before your feet landed on the short cut grass.

As you turned away from the wall and begin tugging your feet towards the black coupe, your eyes catch on the tall frame standing on their front step as an amber light glows slightly illuminating his face. You already know this is Ashton, so with a slight smile you let your index finger rest against your coated lips, a gesture to him to be quiet.

The only response he gives is his head nodding off to the side with smoke trailing out of his mouth.

The smile quickly falls as your fingers clench the car door handle and tug it open, the smell of him crashing down on you as you sit in the familiar leather, the hum of the engine vibrating under you as the car peels off.

~

The tinge of tequila burned on your buds as you felt the room spinning, the sound of chatter and shouts are heard from below you as the bass of Destroy Lonely’s song can be heard in the room you barged into when you gave up on waiting for Tabitha; who said she wouldn’t be long with the curly haired new kid in her history class.

Red solo cup was loosely clenched in your right hand as left was lazily running through your hair at random moments as you laid against the cottage floral bed sheets.

Here you were, back in the same spot you always found yourself in: drunk, heartbroken, and thinking about a boy who doesn’t even care about you. The constant routine of wanting him, then wanting to be far away but craving him every other second burned into your heart. The comfort and familiarity of him that you missed always overlooked every excuse he gave you whenever he broke things off.

Last month he said he needed time to himself, this month he told you that he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted; frankly he lost feelings for you, at least that was what he says now. Those words kept on replaying in your mind as if that was your favourite song. The way he sounded emotionless yet unsure that, that was what he really wanted.

And just with those thoughts, tears were flowing down your temples. Eyes blurring as the voice replayed in your head, the memory of him sitting beside you and saying that, to then recollect memories of how sweet and endearing the boy you loved in the beginning grew cold to your touch and looked into your hopeful eyes with detached ones.

The popcorn ceiling was fuzzy in your sight as the tears spill over your waterline and beads down the sides of your face. You already knew your cheeks were heated up, the liner and eyeshadow that was occupying your bottom lashes was smudged and probably slipping away with the liquid as a sniffle wrinkled through your nose.

God you hated this; the empty feeling of missing someone who you know you shouldn’t want but yet crave so badly. Why him? Why you?

As you were deep in thought you hear the rustle of the door knob before it turns and the music that pours from outside reaches into the empty depths of the room, the sound of footsteps halting and a sharp intake of breath being heard, but you don’t dare look away at the ceiling. Frankly, you could care less about who sees you crying your eyes out on this outdated duvet with ruined make up.

“Fuck my bad!… Wait Y/N?” The recognizable voice of your childhood friend is heard before the door is closing shut.

The weight of him sinks next to you on the bed as you let your eyes close and the final stream of tears leave your eyes.

“I look desperate don’t I.” You state, voice raspy from the strain in your throat as the usual feeling of a ball is formed.

“I think you look sad,” He points out, making you snort as the hand that was lazily playing in your hair tears away and feels the sheet below you.

“No shit,” You mumble before letting your eyes peel open.

“You and Xavier broke up again?” Ashton questions, the sound of his zippers clashing from his jacket as he shuffles around.

You only hum in response before you let both of your arms sit you up on the bed, your back standing straight as your hands cradle the solo cup. Your eyes stare down at your ruined pantyhose beneath your mini lace black skirt before they flicker to look at the hazel boy.

Eyes connecting with yours, you hear his breath hitch as he draws in your appearance. Cheeks with a glow of cherry red sweeping the bones under your eyes that are damp with black eyeshadow, your eyes were still puffy and red rimmed as they batted slowly up at him.

“He doesn’t know what he wants,” You let out, your eyes rolling before letting your plum coloured lips take a sip of the warm mixture of Pepsi and tequila.

“Oh?” He says in confusion, bushy eyebrows coming together trying to figure out how that could be since he saw you two together three nights ago.

“I’m so sick of being with these screwed up guys all the time,” You state, hand tearing away from the cup to dig your nails into the rips of your stockings.

“Really?”

“I have such crummy luck or taste? What is it with girls like me? All a guy has to say is, he can’t express his feelings or he listens to Deftones and it’s like my head tips right over and my brain start to slip out of my ear.”

Ashton lets out laugh, the beer bottle he’s holding by the neck resting on his knee as he stares down at you. “So which one is Xavier?”

“Both,” You scoff while sticking out your tongue in disgust.

“You know… if you wanted to, I’m sure you could have a different great guy to go out with every night,” Ashton assures, a smirk tugging on your lips as you decide to ignore the glint of promise in his eyes.

“No way, I’ve always been a mess. Remember Cleo?” Your second boyfriend that seemed to be stuck on your hip but ironically found someway to cheat on you every weekend yet you still dumbly went back to him every. single. time.

The feeling of your sheer button up rubs against your arm as you let your hand fall against your hip and feel your black crop top tight to your skin.

“Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn’t your usual type,” Ashton points out. Your head nods a few beats as your thick wedged heeled boots run over the wooden flooring.

“Maybe I’ll be luckier if I tried dating someone nice for a change,” Voice hopeful as your eyes dart away from the bubbly dark liquid into Ashton’s brown hues.

“Nice guys,” Ashton says with a smile, both of his hands tearing away from his knees as if to gesture to himself in this equation.

A laugh escapes your lips before your eyes run over Ashton’s frame from head to toe.

“What are you getting at Irwin?” You say with a pointed brow, playing stupid to the implication.

“Oh nothing..” He sings while tearing his eyes from yours, toothy smile still spread on his lips before he takes a swing of his beer.

You shake your head with annoyance before your hazy eyes look down at your lap, your hands resting on the cup and drumming a random tune.

“Honestly Y/N… I think you’re a really great girl and…. I just think maybe…” His words a scrambled mess and trailing off. You smile to yourself before turning to look back at him.

“Mm?” You question, the fifteen percent liquor coursing through your bloodstream and giving you confidence as you lean into this chest, eyes never tearing away from his. Because if Ashton was going to give you hopeful eyes and stuttering speeches you might as well put the ‘nice guy’ to the test and see if he was really about what he said.

That only made his lips break into a smirk, his tongue sneakily gladding along his bottom lip to wet it before looking into you daringly.

That only made you squish your plucked eyebrows together in question. How did the stuttering boy from just a view seconds ago all of a sudden turn cocky and confident? How many drinks did he have? Or was it the weed that clung to his jacket that gave him the boost.

“I think you should give me a chance,” He nips back, and before you can even respond to him, you watch his neck crane down and press his lips against yours.

The crisp taste of his beer stung your lips as they opened and immediately danced along with his tongue. White liquor and brown meeting together to taste each other and leave an acquired flavour in your mouths.

You hummed along to the feeling of his tongue circling against yours before peeling away and molding your lips to sink against each other. Your heart was beating through your chest, nails now digging into your plastic cup and head ducked back as you continue to press your mouth against his.

The feeling of his cold hand pressing against your neck caused you to shudder and tear away from his lips for a second, your eyes peeling open as they look in front of you. Black hair loosely falling on his forehead, the smell of his husky cologne clogging your senses, and the feeling of his fingers now dancing along the back of your neck.

“What are we doing Ash?” You breathe against his lips.

“Something that I’ve always wanted to do,” He says, making your heart launch. You bite down on your bruised lip and tear your eyes away from his, your stomach twist as you try and gain some self control as you almost fling yourself on top of him.

Something that he always wanted to do? You never really found yourself desirable to the point we’re men would see you in that type of light? But maybe what Ash said was just a simple lie, just so he can get what he wants and frankly you don’t even care. You’ve heard lies your whole entire life when it came to boys and this wasn’t any different, maybe you should just let your mind shut off from your stupid ex and just be in the moment for once.

So with that final thought, not having a care in the world, you drop the red cup in your hand and let your lips launch back onto his. Ashton follows your movements and the sound of the nearly empty beer bottle drops onto the hard wood, his right hand now resting along your neck as you both kiss each other.

Warm breaths, beating hearts and the sound of music is the only thing heard in the room as you lick into each others mouths. Soon you feel the weight of Ashton nudging you to lay back on the bed as he lies on top, you feel the cold zippers from his jacket press against your skin and all you can do is moan.

The feeling of his left hand tears away from the hairs on the nape of your neck and dance down your collar bone before letting it cup your breast in his hand, kneading the soft tissue which only makes another moan slip through you.

He pulls away from your lips and begins to suck and press kisses along your pulse, your hands that lie by your side now running up the sleeves of his jacket and into his hair.

A whimper spills out as you feel his hand tug your tank down and free your naked breast, he engulfs it in his cold palm making you let a shaky breath escape before you’re curling your fingers in his hair, the feeling of him twisting your nipple makes you bite down on your bottom lip. The pleasurable pain you feel running up your spine making your shoulders slightly buck off the bed.

“Hmm…” Ashton hums in your neck before tearing away, his eyes once such a light brown and green hue, now a chestnut and forest green colour filled with lust.

Your fingers tug away from his hair as he now descends down your body, his warm lips pressing kisses to your exposed skin as you let your hands tear your blouse and tank off. Your eyes never leaving his as he watches you undress. His lips now press against your pieced belly button as his fingers tear away from your chest and roughly takes your skirt by the band and peels it down your hips, your stockings following soon after.

Not wasting a moment he lets his mouth press against you covered core, lips pressing small kisses against your heat making you quietly moan. You wanted so desperately to tug Ashton into you and make him start devouring you right there but instead you let your hands trail back into his hair and play around with his locks.

Small kisses soon turn into open mouth licks, his wet muscle running up and down your clothed slit that it had your head digging back into the sheets, your legs spreading wider and whimpers endlessly trailing out.

“Ash.. please..” The words slip out so quiet that you assume he didn’t hear from the pulsing music below you, but instead your met with the feeling of his finger pulling your panties to the side and his tongue finally meeting you were you desired.

It circles around your clit gently before you feel his lips suck it into his mouth, a moan drawls from your throat due to the sensation. Soon enough, he’s letting his mouth discover the way you taste which only elects a moan from him. His tongue now dipping in between your two lips and curling around your insides.

“Oh my,” You moan as your fingers dig into his hair, eyes closing shut as you begin to slowly move your hips to the movement of his tongue.

The feeling of his right hand breaks away from your thigh and flows to your hips, his nails leaving small indents as you feel his other hand move away from your panty and rub against your clit.

The feeling of him humming against you sends a vibrating pleasure down your back as he continues to lick you, this only made your toes curl and your hands to fall out of his hair and onto his leather shoulders.

“Fuck,” You moan, your hands tugging him gently away from you as you feel your climax about to overcome your nerves.

And just as you feel it on the tip of your toes, the mouth between your legs pulls away beginning to press wet kisses up your thigh, his hand that once laid against your heat now meeting with the other at your hips.

A groan leaves you as your eyes tear open and look down at him. He mischievously looks up at you, his kisses now run up your stomach once again to lead to your neck.

“Upset?” He teases, only making you shudder at the rasp in his voice.

“I want you Ash,” You say breathlessly, turning your head to knock his out the way and look him in the eyes. “Please,” You utter, fingers now leaving his shoulders and brushing against his rip cage covered by his white tee.

Without any hesitation, Ashton is pulling away from your embrace and leaning back. He shrugs off his jacket, tugs his shirt over his head, his fingers going to the back of his baggy jeans to pull out his wallet to dig through before you see a gold package flash. If your cheeks could burn any brighter they differently would.

The mixture of his clothes and yours are strung through out the room, both of your shoes kicked to the bottom of the bed as he now shuffles his way back up to his original position.

Without question your hand meets the band of his boxers as you begin to inch them down his waist, wanting to return the favour.

“I think that can wait love, I rather be in you right now,” He breathes against your neck, only making your heart stutter. A sheepish smile tugs at your lips as you feel him twist around and lay on his side, his hands laying on your hips, turning you into the same position.

Your head rested on his arm as your back laid against his chest, hips aligned with each other as the feeling of his smell overcomes you. His knees prop up your legs as you hear the tearing of the condom package.

Deciding to distract yourself you let your eyes fall looking at Ashton. His black hair a tossed mess from your fingers, hazel eyes drawn to wear you both meet as he begins to run his member against your heat.

A whimper leaves your lips as you close your eyes when you feel him push inside, his hand now propping up your thigh as he eases into you.

He nudges your head forward and begins sucking kisses down the expanse of your neck, the feeling of his heart beating against your back and the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne was filling your nose.

“Feels so good,” He mumbles against your skin, his arm that rested under your head turning slightly as he runs his hand against your wrist and takes your fingers into his, lacing them together as you continue to feel him stretch you out.

You never expected Ashton to have a thick piece but you also didn’t expect to be in this exact position right now, literally. Your childhood friend having his way with you while you were both drunk off each other and the alcohol in your systems.

His hips meet your backside before drawing back and pushing back in, your walls expanding with each thrust as you feel him begin a good pace. Moans begin to fall from your mouth, your eyes fluttering open every few seconds as your skin burns from the bruises soon to appear on your pulse from the black haired man beside you, skin still stuck to his lips.

“You’re moans are so pretty,” He breathes against you, his hand that was holding up your thigh runs up your hips to your chest, letting your leg fall as he takes one of your breasts and squeezes it gently.

All you can do is hum at his words because you’re too overstimulated to speak. The feeling of his thickness drawing in and out of you so heavily has you nodding off at the sensation, his fingers intertwined with yours beings to squeeze them together as the hand that was on your breast meets with his head at your neck.

“You like me fucking you,” He says into your ear as his hand squeezes your throat gently.

You nod your head as you feel your eyes slip close, and you were completely wrecked. He was so dirty yet gentle with you, peppering you with kisses yet digging into you so devilishly that it had your mind distraught.

“You like the way I feel inside you,” He continues, his hand growing more tight around your throat.

“Ash…” You say breathlessly, as your hand that rested against the bed sheets rises up and places it against the one making you breathless but encouraging your climax.

“Mm I like the way you feel around me,” He eggs on, and that makes you cry out, your back pushing pack and meeting his hips.

The feeling of your stomach twitching and legs quivering to close makes your head tip back even more against Ashton as you feel your orgasm on the brink.

That has him taking his hand away from your throat and slips it to lift your thigh back up as he continues to thrust into you, his lips press more kisses against your neck.

Your toes curl as the knot in your stomach expands and releases, the satisfying sensation washing over you as you let a deep breath break through your lips with a moan.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses as he feels you twitch around him, the contractions from your high throwing him into his; his hips stutter before rocking back into you slowly, teeth gently digging into your skin, his breath being blown over the expanse of it.

The thickness of him slips out which causes your eyes to open, his hand dropping your thigh to wrap around your hips as his head buries into your neck.

The room is quiet for a moment as the only thing that can be heard is your hearts calming down and the chatter from down below.

“I would give you more kisses but I’ve made a mess on your neck,” His voice vibrates against you, that only makes you let out a broken laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what it looks like,” You reply, your hand that rested on the duvet linking with his that rest along your stomach.

This felt nice, the amazing sex and cuddling session after. The room just being quiet and the only thing that can be heard is your breaths and beating hearts. This was so spontaneous that you still can’t even wrap your mind around what happened.

“How would you feel about doing this more often?” Ashton says after a few minutes, his chest moving as he pulls his head away from your neck to lie back against the pillows.

Having casual sex with him? You ponder on the idea. It was definitely one of the best you have ever had, he felt amazing and checked off every box when it came to how to please you. You couldn’t even lie and say that you didn’t find Ash attractive, you are also now officially single, free to due what we you wanted, so fuck it.

“Like… Friends with benefits?” You say, your thumb running against his hand still linked with yours by your head.

“Yeah, friends with benefits,” He confirms.

You let your head swish from side to side as you feel the burning sensation of his love bites strain against your neck as you let out a sarcastic hum to yourself as if you’re thinking it over.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Kagekao Headcanons

Another underrated gem in terms of character design, but tbh I never really got into Kagekao when I was first into creepypasta. I think I grew out of it right before he got popular, oh well.

Originally I wasn’t even planning on including Kagekao in my headcanons but he’s like. Weirdly popular on here I think?? Four separate people have come to my ask box for Kagekao headcanons so I suppose there’s some kind of demand for him.

I do really love the way he acts though. I also love that he’s apparently canonically gay, yippee! Adding him to the blorbo pile of “I had no idea you were canonically queer until I relooked at you” alongside Jane and Helen, lol.

Expect canon typical dark topics beyond this point.

So weirdly enough Kage is actually pretty short

Like. You’d think he’d be at least 6 feet tall right?

Nah

Sure he’s lanky but bro is also only like 5”3

I think the whole climbing buildings thing gives people the wrong impression that he’s secretly tall

Not cis btw! You’re telling me the sassy color coordinated big scarf wearing mf is cis? Absolutely not. Uses he/they/it pronouns proudly. Loves being called a monster, creature, freak, etc

It’s already canon its claws are retractable but only to an extent. The claws are kinda like rodent teeth, they’re constantly growing and Kage has to keep sharpening/using them to make sure they stay in check

Nonexistent alcohol tolerance. Physically incapable of getting drunk which is why you can constantly find them with a bottle of something strong more often than not

Kage actually doesn’t need to physically eat on account of the whole demon thing

He still chooses to do so out of pleasure though

Compared to Helen he actually likes cannibalism. Sort of. He honestly just sees human meat as something normal and doesn’t crave it often but will eat it without hesitation

They’ll eat anything if it means it’s fancy or good enough to go with wine

Yes of course this bitch has an extensive centuries old collection of alcohol

No of course no one else is allowed to see it

Like seriously do you wanna lose a hand? I didn’t think so

He does share sometimes with his friends if he’s feeling especially friendly but that’s rare because they care about preserving the collection more

Fluent in Japanese (obviously) and English, and specifically learned Mandarin Chinese for Helen so the two could shit talk people all the time

THE BIGGEST shit talker btw

Kagekao loves sowing discord and trying to start drama. When he first showed up it was a massive problem but soon people started realizing he was behind most of the recent drama and began ignoring him

It takes an act of god for people to believe anything they say about someone else now

No one is gullible enough to fall for it anymore. Sorry buddy

People do still let them complain and shit talk about the others tho

Like. Helen and Jeff don’t like each other? Kage will complain about one to the other and vice versa

He’s also a pretty damn good listener when it comes to venting your frustrations about specific people

If Kage likes you enough maybe he’ll even pull a prank on the guy you’re complaining about

Ben grumbles about Jason being a stuck up prick one day and then a week later Jason’s sewing kit loses all its needles at the same time a bunch of sharp objects show up where Jason usually sits at the dining table

Literally no one suspects Kage as a prankster though thanks to the fact LJ, Nina, and Sally have a bigger reputation for that

Honestly Kage kinda just gets away with whatever the fuck he wants most of the time

Which makes sense considering they also showed up willingly

Like. No one forced him here, he didn’t die and randomly get resurrected and show up on the mansion grounds

Kagekao was just bored one day and stumbled upon the place and decided it was good enough to set up shop for awhile

One of the few true immortals that doesn’t rely on Slenderman’s interference for their longevity

Kagekao has already been a demon for ages and can freely leave if it so chooses

A lot of the others secretly envy and resent it for that

Like. Dude. You can freely leave and you choose to stay here among the freaks and their overbearing eldritch horror boss?

A lot of the others would KILL for that kind of freedom

There’s no telling if Kagekao is aware of their jealousy and is ignoring it or if it’s just that oblivious

So besides the claws and the wall climbing and the mask changing facial expressions, what else are they capable of?

Well for starters, demon shit

Kage can make deals with people if it wants, and obviously they’re capable of stealing and consuming souls, but most of the time he doesn’t bother with that shit

Kagekao can also traverse through shadows. Y’know how the inklings function in Splatoon? He does something similar with shadows

Obviously because of this, daylight/sunlight/bright lights in general are an inconvenience and kind of painful for him

Pretty much everyone has some form of nocturnal sleep schedule but Kagekao is the only one that’s fully 100% entirely nocturnal. The second even a sliver of sunlight breaks the horizon he’s holed up in his room until the sun goes back down

It is unknown if Kage actually needs to sleep tho

Besides using their claws, poisons, and broken wine bottles as murder tools, Kage also loves strangling people with their scarf

He finds the way people’s faces change color very funny. Ok buddy

Gets bored easily when out on missions or killing for its own pleasure, though

Sooooooo sometimes Kage sneaks off and spies on someone else doing something

No one’s noticed him so far. Or so he thinks

Sully noticed him once when Kage was in some shadows under a table while Liu was out performing a hit on someone

Other than that though, no one else has noticed Kage has front row seats to their murder sprees

Is friends/close with: BEN/Ben, Helen, Jeff, Nina, LJ, Sally, and Anne

Has a tolerable relationship with/neutral about: Jason, Clockwork, Jane, Liu, Slenderman, EJ, and Puppeteer

Hates Masky and Hoody

Their hatred really isn’t that deep I promise, Kage just hates how stuck up they both are and hates it even more when either of them try giving him orders

As if Kage is ever gonna obey someone else’s whim

Is close with Jeff due to their nationalities; Kagekao was equally as surprised as Jeff was to learn they’re both Japanese

In Jeff’s case he’s more American than Japanese but his parents did teach him the language, which means Jeff is the only person who can understand what Kage says when Kage doesn’t feel up for speaking in the language most of the others speak

It’s not often but it is really funny when the 5”3 sassy girlypop demon has to be translated by the 5”8 scary human

Obviously Kagekao listens to gay pop what kind of a monster would he be if they didn’t

Is solely responsible for pink pony club getting on the charts. Probably

Eventually, in the much distant future, Kagekao will grow bored of the others and leave altogether

If not first deciding to ruin their lives even more before he goes

It’s a guarantee this motherfucker will cause chaos so immense everyone gets new trauma before he dips

Out of everyone he’s definitely the chaos gremlin

[kybelles]

for the choose violence ask game: 10, 16, 18!

HELLO BABY!!! sorry in advance since this is all about DAMEN DAMEN and DAMEN cause duh... ik it's not a trendy expression anymore but he really does live rent free in my head 💔

10. worst part of fanon

OH DEAR..... yk i'm trying really hard to not sound deranged and delusional but i feel like there are so many skewed interpretations of damen even though the books are literally from his pov. here are some of them:

a. "damen is an unreliable narrator" i've literally gone to battle with people over this take cause NO HE'S FUCKING NOT?? you say 'damen didn't see laurent's good qualities and was overly judgemental of veretians' i say damen not fucking with his captors who's been nothing but awful to him doesn't mean he was unreliable!! it wasn't like laurent was a golden angel and damen willingly hated on him for nothing. book 1 laurent treated him horribly and damen had every reason and right to not trust him or find him honorable.

b. "damen was a fuckboy who discarded the people he slept with the second he was done with them before laurent" breaking news: if someone sleeps with a lot of people that means he has no respect for them and is bound to treat them like shit! the lack of canon evindence doesn't matter!

(if the take is about damen not being in love with his partners before laurent then i'm on board!! it's the implication that damen was an inconsiderate sex partner that boggles my mind cause... did we read the same books?)

c. "damen is actually bad at sex" is a take/joke(?) i've seen MULTIPLE times and it never fails to make me think what a fucking stupid thing it is to say ❤️

d. "damen learned empathy from laurent" ????? lmao. anyways...

e. "damen was lazy and kastor picked up his slack" is everything ok with your eyes? when's the last time you've seen an ophthalmologist?

f. "theomedes neglected damen" damen literally spends page after page reminiscing about his father's words, advices and their last days together. he also says theo was the only parent he knew all his life and since someone needed to raise him to be this fascinating gentle giant... 1+1=3???

g. any interpretation where damen is some sort of neanderthal who is a selfish spoiled and clueless oaf who needs to be educated by girlypopboss laurent OR where he lets laurent walk all over him and has no agenda of his own. just... no.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

any setting where laurent is downright cold and rude towards damen FOR NO APPARENT REASON and yet damen is still obsessed with him, again for some mysterious reason??? not to sound like some know-it-all condescending bitch (tho i suspect to some degree i'm already infamous and some ppl dislike me bc of it 🥺 oh well...) but i think most people forget damen only started giving laurent the time of his day once laurent started showing him basic deceny during pg. i really don't think he'd be interested in someone who rebuked him at every chance and showed no interest at him.

(some ppl give jokaste as an example to excuse this but damen only says jokaste wasn't easily courted aka she didn't immediately jump into his bed (which is admirable omg... i wouldn't be as strong...) he never said she aloof towards him)

18.it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

THE FACT DAMEN IS A HUGE NERD!!! seriously, who listens to FOUR HOURS of poetry in one sitting... we all tend to focus on his martial insterests but ik my boy is also a sophisticated man 💅

[strugglingatart]

Jr Year ep 3

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

EX GIRLFRIEND I will legit fight Brennan why did we at least not see it....

btw me saying I will fight brennan is mostly a joke like I get why we made all these changes, I don't actually love everything but I do trust all these people enough that it will serve the story and play out great

Immediately clocking the fairy festival (Frosty whatever it is I'm so sorry Brenan says it and then it's immediately out of my head) connection we love

love love looove the aguefort projections, so many Arthur statues!

Riz's manic energy is such a vibe, not exactly healthy but a vibe I get

the astral realm where all the dead gods go

lowkey love that Gorgug and Fabian are solid like the boys lowkey play them so dumb but that's just teenage boys for ya (also thought maybe Fabian would be in less trouble but still some so this makes my anxiety relax a bit, only issues we already knew off)

Actually for the wizards I'm really chill is an A+ and also probably true sentence

ah the answer I needed about Fig's multiclass

Ah the society of shadows again, and a college for sad alone adventureres lol

their record is bad but it should be worse when talking about the one person sports team is SO FUNNY to me

the friends bit is so good, everythig about it, all the laughing, Emily failing intentionally, Ally letting it work even tho it shouldn't, perfection

Lydia still making half orc meals we love and stan

Adaine-Riz friendship is SO IMPORTANT to me

the sibbling energy our girls have are amazing

the Thisstlesprings will literally just go into sex ed and Gorgug's reaction is gold everytime

"Can I run from you?" LMAO

ok I'm getting the silly energy they were talking about now

listennnn we are gonna get into Gorgug isn't a good barbarian according to his teacher again aren't we? it's why it wasn't pre approved? I will fight this teacher he literally saved the world twice as mostly a barbarian let him be a chill barbarian

WHY DID GILLEAR NOT TALK TO FIG

yes Fabian make Fig go to class

yay new lunch lad

also I legit thought the time quangle was just an explain continuity errors away and also get rid of the agueforts who break encounters thing but it might be related to the plot now that it's come back up in the recap and in the intercom in story

Fig has Gillear's luck confirmed ok

Zac's physical comedy continues to be SO GOOD

the sillies really are here I'm laughing so much

straight away this lady is insane

four different dogs is such a good burn, love agro Kristen

do not trust this people at all

ohhh skullcleaver, Katya's aunt? cousin? I don't recall the seven mentioning that

listen Fabian's house being party house is lowkey dangerous

Kristen being a disaster gay even when trying to help friends flirt is a mood and a half

ooohh I like mazey

don't trust the attomaton tbh

also yes I just thought of this now so it's late but going back to Kipperlilly whatever her name is, like homegirl can't make big institutional changes youre class president not on staff

rules always being followed to the letter is tbh scary there has to be room for interpretation, perfect order doesn't exist

YES PLOT love how it's already too much bc mood and "yeah I cannot think about that right now" and "embodyment of writers block" oh this season is gonna continue to hit me in the face

Wanda Childa is wild

she was a turncoat, more importantly she was a mirror

why is Ally's hey girlie voice so terrifying

fully forgot porter was the barbarian teacher and I will fight porter LET GORGUG MULTICLASS...

aaaa I'm going into a worry is here, legit thought it was gonna be in battle but I love Gorgug's energy here bc I've been there where you do things kinda nontraditional way and have teachers make the achivements sound so much worse just bc i didn't get there through the path they wanted me to take

love terpsichore immediately

they get 30's fairly often now we love level 10

fabian is such an arsty kid at heart and always was like Lou wanted to make a jock maybe but never did

listen trashbag sandwich is worrying but it was indeed fine

I get that Riz is type A but he is the non annoying kind

homegirl who desn't like technicalities and ppl gettign away with stuff got out in one huh? also I have no idea what that means the teacher found her? what?

Jawbone I love you and also I worry about how much I relate to Riz

I so hate this girl I'm with Adaine, she's the worst we've had

oh no the Applebee's

ok so I have a huge like essay somewhere about both why I don't like how Kristen is dealing with Cassandra but also how I 10000% understand her as someone who abandoned religion but was then forced to still be in similar roles and religious enviornments after that somewher in my head buut also who cares but just know it exists

omg Bucky giving her a hug I cry

Kristen is not doing well but that was actually a pretty good parental confrontation tbh I'm proud

oh damn poor Adaine I'm sosorry my dear you don't deserve this

Brennan really went you know what? we are not having your wildness work for you this time Emily, your shit is catching up to you

yay fig went to class finally

we got SO many designs with all the teachers and such and they are all so great

oh nooo Kristeeen, each step I take the step behind me vanishes is such a raw ass line like this poor teenager is legit so lost like someone help her please (also that was a relatable little monologue.. am I ok?)

love the cleric teacher a lot

ok but i love cassandra alright twilight, mystery and doubt are such a cool ass domain you can sell it and embrace it Kristen I belive in youuuu

but also again: a good ass teacher

awn I love that they're back in the forest

again Siobhan promised no taers and I have cried twice now maybe three times in three eps??? rude af

the bad kids should've helped with the whole Cassandra stuff I just realised I'm so sorry

oh shit not Kalina again.... I feel like i got stabbed in the heart

oh I am sooo pumped for next ep!!!!!

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

More Gatsby Reincarnation AU bullshit while I work on a piece for the show I’m in rn:

It’s a long ahh list so here’s a cut to save ur dash :)

Gatsby and Daisy absolutely love Grease. Yes the movie. Yes they force everyone to watch it at least once every four-or-so months during group movie night, yes they sing the whole thing

Everyone begrudgingly has their song in Grease. Jordan’s is Danny’s part in summer nights (with Gatsby as Sandy funny enough), Tom’s is Greased Lightning, Jay’s is Raining on Prom Night (although Daisy joins him 90% of the time), Daisy’s is There Are Worse Things I Could Do, and Nick’s is Beauty School Dropout!

Nick has the voice of an angel. Literally. First time he really sang Beauty School Dropout left everyone floored

For my fellow Natsby Shippers: Already was Jay entranced by Nick’s voice, but things got worse when Nick turned his performance of said song above on him during their obligatory watch. Dude bluescreened hard and it took a minute before they could continue the movie

Speaking of movie nights, the gang does movie nights! With how available it is nowadays why not? Sometimes it’s twice a month, sometimes it’s once, sometimes it’s every other month. Really just depends on how often they can

Meyer is here too everyone! He’s a teacher at a nearby high school (although you’re a fool to think that’s his only job). While he originally taught economics, he got roped into using his double major to teach English. Specifically Junior Year. The Great Gatsby unit is always awkward

Nick has a Tumblr! He’s flat out said multiple times on said blog that he is Nick Carraway reincarnate. Through some simple proofs his followers have accepted that yup, that’s Nick Carraway back from the grave. It’s like how we have Neil Gaiman here, but with Nick.

Jordan has a blog too, but only to fuck with Nick. That’s it, that’s the only reason. Their followers love watching them fight online lmao

Nick uses his blog to update everyone on the gang and answer questions. Yes, TGG was gay. So is he. He’s answered this a million times can we get a new question please??

One of Meyer’s students showed him said blog, at which point his student teacher George Willows (Wilson) pointed out that he knew Nick back in high school and offers to set up a meeting

That meeting was awkward as fuck. Nick and George just stared at each other, both knowing, until George ran out of the room, at which point Meyer took to testing Nick. The two shot references back and forth until Nick cracked

Nick has a therapist. He was pushed to get one after a rather bad crack in his own mind after Jay remembered (I’ll explain in a minute). He tiptoed around his real problem for ages, not wanting to be seen as insane (again), until his therapist asked him one day about a book. See its uncut pages? Do you know what that means, Nick?

Boy was it a relief to be able to actually talk about his struggles with reincarnation after that

(TW: Derealization, just in case) Nick’s Mental Crack, as mentioned above, happened on his first birthday after Jay remembered everything. He vanished for a few days, only to be found unresponsive by his friends. When he finally did respond, it was only to repeat that they (the gang) weren’t real, something drilled into him from his time at the sanatorium and his last 60-ish years of isolation in his first life. For a few more days he did little more than stare into the bathroom mirror, repeat that phrase, or gently touch at his eyes. When he finally did come to, the first thing he did was turn to Jay and ask “Is this real?” There was. A lot of crying from all parties following. And therapy.

Listen, dealing with grief in the 20s already sucked. He got sent to a sanatorium for Christ’s sake! That, paired with what I imagine to have been spending the last 60+ years of his life in self isolation AND being the first to remember their past lives? That ain’t easy man. He could use a little help

He does get better tho. Things get easier. Maybe a little too easy because one day, when a mutual friend(s) of all of theirs outright stops them and asks if they’re the reincarnated cast of Gatsby, he just says yes. Straight up. “Yup. Took you that long?”

Meanwhile everyone else (except for Jordan honestly) is trying to deny it and failing miserably

Back to movies and film! Nick likes Sci-fi things alongside historical stuff that he can laugh at being wrong, Jay enjoys romance (specifically shit like the Bachelor tell me I’m wrong-), Jordan is a fan of of mysteries, Daisy enjoys horror films purely because of the kickass final girl most of them have alongside a fair share of musicals, and Tom likes Sports films like Happy Gilmore and Benchwarmers

To my fellow Natsby ppl again: Gatsby is shorter than Nick. Was back in the 20s and is now! When hugging or cuddling, Nick could absolutely smother Jay. He is a small fella, very holdable

Every time they rewatch the 2013 Gatsby, Jordan has a tendency to say either “that’s gay” or “that’s homophobic” at respective times. Nick keeps a tally on how many times she says each every watch

And that’s all I think I have again for now. Thanks again for @writerinconstantcrisis for helping with most of these and this AU as a whole really. Until next time nerds!

[meteor752]

Spent a whole week binging rwby because why not

Here are mah thoughts

Very interesting decision of the show to open on literally the best character, like I’ve heard of peaking early but come on

No but fr Roman is actually so special to me

I just finished volume nine and I broke down crying at his and Neo’s final moments

Thing is, I’m a person with daddy issues and my favorite family member is my uncle so like of course Qrow is second favorite guy

We love us a bisexual subby whore

Ozpin is number three so like guess what my favorite ship is

(Side note, My Own Worst Enemy by Elektric Angel is one of the best fics I have ever read and I cannot recommend it enough)

Why the fuck did this show start out with having one of the four main characters be racist?! What a bold choice

I hate Jaune so fucking much. If you like him, cool, but he’s one my most hated fictional characters ever, not just him but like what he represents

Tho it is worse with Neptune, who’s also like why tf are you here bruv

It’s very funny to have a borderline kinda racist character and a literal meme from 2014 be drafted into war

It took me five days to break and create ocs. They’re called Lemon Lime, Azure, Iris, and Koral. Team LAIK. Maybe I’ll talk about them more at some other point

Listen okay I know that animated shows like to have your hero be depressed in a whole arc, but like god Ruby was kinda grating in season 9.

Blake is kinda rolling with like, one personality trait, but ya know good on her for getting a cool gf

Yang is also the best out of the main four girls

So is Tai, Summer, and Raven’s relationship supposed to be a polycule? That must have been awkward for poor Qrow back in school

Why the fuck is everyone so mad at Ozpin all the time. Like boohoo, daddy didn’t tell you Santa isn’t real, get fucking over yourself Qrow you’re forty three

But fr what is the animosity about. I think Jelloapocalypse summarized it the best in his rwby video

Also did you know the top comment on there is from Technoblade? Check it out, it’s true. No idea he was a rwby fan, but like good for him

Season 6 episode “Alone in the woods” is the best episode by far. I really like when they do more unique stuff with the Grimm, other than just ‘monster’

That being said I’m always a sucker for a space whale

But the line from that episode, “No one was angry or sad or scared. No one was anything. And then, no one was left” is so powerful

Season nine is like fully a fever dream, but it helps with connecting to the main four again, so I like it

Also they need to stop introducing characters we don’t need any more it’s so cluttered

Why the fuck did the tree have Summer’s weapon? What the fuck was she doing there, frolicking in wonderland? Gurl…

I miss Oobleck. He hasn’t been around since like season 4, like what the hell man

What the fuck is Cinder and Emerald’s relationship supposed to be? Are they sisters? Friends? Is Emerald in love with her? Because she seems to be.

Emerald and Mercury are fully siblings tho. Also I love Mercury

Arthur’s monologue to Cinder was one of the best scenes in the show. I loved it, I’m sad he died

The character I relate the most to is little scorpion freak, because honestly dude saaaaaaame

God I want Salem to fuck me

The motivation of the villain being that they’re an immortal being, who wants the world to end because then they can die, is so fucking interesting and I’m surprised I don’t see more of it.

Do you guys think the only reason that Jaune was made leader of team JNPR was because they couldn’t think of a colour with those letters that started with P?

Do you think that’s how they choose all leaders?

How the fuck is Ren supposed to be a version of Mulan? Apart from him being Asian, there’s no correlation. Jesus Christ…

Him and Nora are very t4t tho. Very glad that they established boundaries about their relationship tho, like open communication is all I need

Why is Ambrosius kinda 💅

This isn’t related to rwby but there’s like a bird or smt screaming outside my window and it kinda sounds like a ghost girl and now I’m scared…

I feel like Salem and Ozpin’s relationship is very uncomfortable with Oscar stuck in the middle. Like why did they have to make him fourteen

Pupsicle!!!!

If I had a child in this universe I would absolutely name them something that starts with a vowel. Some of these team names are a fucking stretch, I mean SSSN?!

Another bold move by the creators is having the first few seasons villains be minorities fighting for Justice and equality. Like idk anything about these dudes, but it’s a little yikes

The fact that everyone in this world is an X-men and the show took four seasons to actually explain that is hilarious

Actually the show taking its time to explain anything is hilarious

Like, six seasons in and we find out the villain’s motivations. Hell four seasons in and we find out the villain

The first opening song was easily the best. Like I said, peaked early

The ship names of this fandom are fucking baller dude. Very creative

[pragnificent]

Anyway when I was 17 (so like I said, literally 23 years ago) I bottle raised a Rottweiler puppy, and I knew I couldn't keep him bc I was moving out soon and I already had a big dog.

My aunt asked for him, and even tho she was (and is) a shitty person* I thought it would be good to keep him in the family so I could check-in.

Aunt told us to "come take this dog" like four hours later.

So then Ken, my father, said that he wanted to give the puppy to one of his co-workers (they were nurses) who had a kid, but for some reason that I cannot explain in retrospect, that idea upset me and I dug my heels in about it, and insisted on giving him to the humane society because they knew best how to find a good home.

And like, I basically said that to the humane society worker when I surrendered him, and they looked at me weird but didn't say anything to me against that idea.

And like, Ken was so fucking mad at me for that. Like hurt-angry. And he's been dead since 2019 but the last few months I just like fucking get fixated on this particular situation with the puppy and the possibility that maybe I gave him REASONS to hate me and the issue wasn't that he he was an abuser but rather that I was a mean crazy bitch that was impossible to live with.

Which, objectively, I know that I would IMMEDIATELY dismiss as BS if someone else said it to me, even if that person had only gone through a 10th of the shit he did, but guess what??? My brain hates me and my emotions are never ever Valid even if everyone else's are!

And ALSO, like, I know at least some of the reasons why I was resistant to give the puppy to his friend were like... Not based on nothing. I was at the hospital they worked at when I had my spinal surgeries and just... Terrible traumatic experience. I got an infection in my incision bc the nurse spilled a bed pan on it (and the wound care for that was probably the most painful thing I've ever experienced) and I remember listening to a baby down the hallway SCREAMING for what seemed like FOREVER bc the nurse couldn't get a vein.

And like if you have never heard a little baby SCREAMING in pain just be happy that you haven't.

And like ALSO Ken shockingly was not a good judge of character, and I can only remember meeting a couple friends of his that weren't Awful... Like the first time I heard the n-slur out loud was from one of his friends and also a couple years before Ken died one of his friends tried to murder -suicide him by grabbing the steering wheel while Ken was driving. Crashed the car so hard that it was totaled.

But yeah. Just gotten fixated lately (actually, I am self aware, whenever I'm PMSing) that

1.) I was a Bad Kid actually (I am Aware that even a Bad Kid did not deserve all of that) and that I gave him Valid Reasons to hate me.

2.) That I Hurt and Upset what MIGHT have been a Nice Lady with a Nice Kid by refusing to give him the puppy, and in the process cheated him out of a Nice Home.

3.) That the puppy might have, for some reason, been euthanized rather than adopted out. I know this is unlikely, he was a healthy ten week old puppy that at least seemed to be purebred and very adoptable... But like shelters struggle so much to have room.

Anyway, that was my entirely too long vent post... I'm going to go play Ark now.

* She's full-on Qanon now and abandoned her children, one of which was still a minor and the other had multiple kids and a drug problem, to go live in a desert compound out west.

[maymeowmoo]

New episode of Smg4?!?!?!? Well I'm inna writing mood soooooo.... Imma review/analysis and share my thoughts on the new episode >:) ["SMG4:SMG3's BOMB CAFE"] If you're bored feel free to read this overly detailed analysis of a 12:01 minute video! (Actually ~10:30ish)

Analyzing time! ^w^/

Smg3 being so happy abt his lil cafe is very cute. I did not expect Smg4 to be so goddam sassy in this episode but I like that they didn't get rid of their rivalry completely since u know, after so many years it would be odd for it to just disappear even if they have recently been bonding so much u<u

Still I couldn't help but feel a bit odd? Like idk if Four just desperately wanted Three to ask him for help w the coffee or what but DANG was he super into making Smg3's life harder. At 4:49 Smg4 basically goes screw it lets make Three more miserable and invites everyone. Like let bro learn overtime we don't need a Kirby Lunch Rush but with Smg3! Also Four's expressions? Dude is being SILLY on purpose u_u He continues his nuisance charade with 6:22 ("How can you not even have the unicorn frappucino?"). Like dang bro how abt u calm ur sass down and stop provoking Three even more? He does get a clear indication of Smg3's annoyance (8:51-8:52 Smg3 says "Shut up." to Four also stopping him from making another sassy remark) yet still continues. At 9:14 (Smg4:"So you admit you can't run a shop yet?") Four gives his snarky comment and all I can think of is how he intentionally made it harder for Three to run the dang shop. [Note: Tbh even someone who owned a shop would have a hard time with Smg4's Crew lets be fr.] Just like I said at the beginning of this paragraph I am starting to really believe Four wanted to be involved with Three somehow and the only way he knew how is by forcing conflict.

Characterization wise what surprised me is how even after two instances of Three yelling for the others to stop fighting they still continue on. Idk I just feel like they would've listened tbh. They were very... hyperactive I guess? The characters do act kinda like they should but it still felt odd to me for some reason. Eggdog as always has the best characterization tho, man do I like that silly egg thing. Anywho this wasn't the only thing that felt odd continuity wise. I would've thought Smg3 learnt to make proper coffee before he started up a cafe? Especially since he literally lived in a STARBUCKS??? Like I just think he would've idk tried making coffee before opening a cafe even if he didn't make any during his time in the Internet Graveyard. I did make up two explanations for this tho! One is that the dead memes (Specifically the funny lil knuckles) made the coffee during his time in the Internet Graveyard and the other is that he was just too anxiety/adrenaline ridden to make proper coffee. At the end of the day these things aren't huge issues for me but as I said before it did make me feel odd.

Smg4 getting called out for his sass was necessary for me to like this video so imma glad it happened and he doesn't just get away with his behavior. At 9:23 the realization of his silly shenanigans finally catch up to him and that means..... THE SMG34 PART OF THE EPISODE STARTS YEEHAW! Even though Smg4's and 3's confrontation felt just the tiny bit forced to me (probably Four's fault) it was so nice to see them being softer. I also really like how Three doesn't agree to Four's proposal without making some convoluted reasoning as to why this isn't just two pals helping each other out and is actually TOTALLY just a transactional thing. It feels really in character! Oh yeah since I need to put this somewhere at 9:47 Four is like "I want to help" and like... you made it harder and now you want to help? Better now then never tbh ^w^/

Jokes -> The joke at 2:27-2:34 made me chuckle ._. and that makes me somewhat disappointed in myself (You want it? Issa urs my friend is so real). 3:00 is also a joke I liked, it felt very relatable (I struggle with basic human stuff like buttons on a coffee machine also u_u aww man). 3:28-3:32 Decent joke! 4:12 having a Gmod Three bang the coffee machine was good but the sudden Pomni/Smg4 reaction wasn't for me :v (It is good for Au art tho, I've seen the Smg4 as Pomni art hehe ;P ). 5:55-6:05 Nice joke ^v^/ (Smg3 writing '1 jar of poison for Mario' was the cherry on top tbh). 6:29-6:35 just like the joke at three minutes the whole 'operating a coffee machine being like dark magic' is still funny to me. 7:35-7:38 7:45-7:46 the music that plays when the rainbow (acid) coffee is shown is cool. 8:34-8:49 The whole Tari going coo coo joke is honestly pretty unfunny ._. I did not like it :v. 10:44-10:45 'Cleaned up everything!' is such a funny pop up to put here. Joke APPROVED!

Joke wise I think this episode is actually quite solid. The one joke I really didn't like kinda puts it down but ignoring that issa cool ig :D (6,8/10)

Closing statement -> Dude Four on roller skates working at a cafe for Three? THIS IS JUST A FANFIC AT THIS POINT... and I am all for it ;D

[Note: I have no idea why I wrote this but I felt like it sooooo... YEAH! >:3 If you have any thoughts abt this ep I'd love to hear em ;o]

[glowingmin]

analyzing the adjuration ravio board

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS SIT DOWN SHUT UP WE'RE GOING OFF 4 CUPS OF WATER AND A MIGRAINE BUT WE ARE GOING TO COPE

i unfortunately have an abysmal zoom so i've Enhanced the writing for bits I couldn't quite read but anyways LETS GET INTO IT. WITNESS THE ANALYSIS FROM AN IDIOT WHO BASICALLY ONLY KNOWS THE LORE OF FOUR SWORDS.

@not-freyja hi i hope you like this insane loveletter to adjuration (idk how else to. share it. yay)

alright starting off with the timeline and all the looping fuckeries (motherfucker got more arrows than an ikea checkout lane)

time is scratched out and replaced with sapling. because of the war of eras? nickname yipee?

the music notes linking time to wind must refer to how the song of time sent time back and left that timeline w/o the hero's spirit

the triforce linking legend to time has to mean something but my minimal zelda lore knowledge is leaving me to die. ik its the downfall timeline, so is it a reference to how the triforce got Fucked Up by pig man? did it get messed up??? never actually played cards meaning to learn /reference

there's so many scribblies around hyrule (i love the hearts on the 'i's its adorable). hyrule found the book and thats why he gets loops?

[ hi revision glowmin here. had a thought: what if there's multiple timelines that branch out from when rulie first used the book. what if the first visit wasn't legend. how many fractured timelines could that one event have caused ]

from chapter 49: “So this entire situation is Rulie’s fault?” Twilight’s side moves as he talks and Hyrule leans away from him, falling into Wind instead." haha no don't dump all the fault on hyrule you're so sexy aha /reference

'dink does something fucky' has me cackling. is wild's existence caused by dink? three question marks, 3 parts of the triforce, mmmm that is cooking?? or could just be irony

that line also points to rulie again so i Think this has something to do with. the blood curse. that i only know about from fanfiction.

ALSO THE LINE CONNECTING RULIE TO WARS!! IS SCRATCHED OUT!! (also from chapter 49: "Dead, lightning bug,” Ravio soothes. “He’s dead, you killed him.”)

who's dink is it anyways

the line about four's shadow has me. okay listen i don't remember the chapter but i KNOW there was a line abt the yiga talking about a small town forge. is that four's home from minish cap.

bc back when they met ravio the first (? i forgor) time, ravio told four to remind him about some dark magic (??) book. i thought this would be to revive shadow. is it. is it to revive red instead??

i am not okay abt red death

okay back to the flowchart: shit they haven't been to skyloft yet. i did not realize that until now

'palace' you mean the fucking TONGS FOUR SWORD PALACE??

the line drawn to the underlined dark link beneath time: 'hylia said "mouth of the river". i think this could either be time or sky. time bc he breaks the timeline into 3, sky bc he literally got cursed for being too cool

rulie: i am going to fucking SCREAM. the line from cia to rulie has 'why' written next to it and that's what i wanna know!! 'not safe' is in a fucking box!! underlined question marks!! ravio bbg please.

oh and 3 x's but idk if thats more triforce analogy or just. there to be There

recycled ganon had me cackle. inconsistent dates tho,,, is that like. linking up to why they're going in reverse in wild's time? bc twilight is the direct predecessor iirc???

wind: i cannot read what it says next to dead. looks like,,, 'masko' maybe? evidence of there being a dark: i have not beaten wind waker yet but I HAVE got the master sword. is the time lock shenanigan at the bottom of the ocean dink's fault or the master sword's fault.

i know like 2 things from hyrule warriors: traitors are cringe and cia apparently is creepy. thats probs why talking about dark versions of him is 'personal'. i wonder what 'safe' means in this context; safe to visit? safe to rule out? shaking ravio like a paper bag.

wild drives ravio to apple juice alcoholism more at 11. it is personal is underlined. is it wild's dark? rulie's dark? why are they going backwards? are they going to show up in wild's hyrule for when he DIES because they're going backwards? bro what is up with kyle.

the visits lets fucking go

WHY IS 8 VISIT BLANK. HOLUP

revision glowmin again. We’re not at visit 9. I have no clue why I thought we were there. Migraines are shit.

visits 2 and 3 being about shadow and red. dont look at me i'm crying | visits 2 and 3 are in the same order both for ravio and the links. hmmmmm that's Odd

RAVIO LEARNING WHO RED IS AND THEN NEXT VISIT HE'S FUCKING DEAD. HE GOES TO WAR AND THEN HE'S FUCKING DEADDDDD

visit 6 'got em' what did you get ravio. huh?? you silly merchant man what did you get??? it certainly wasn't bitches

this is the part of the lore board that i actually fucking. bro the circles this is running me through is insane. like how do i even analyze this its making my headache die so we're just gonna spitball.

it. kind of goes in reverse? not really but kinda?? visit 9 is first for all the links, but last for ravio. is this linked to wild's visits being in reverse?

if it ends at 9 i'm gonna throw a sock at my wall

for visit 5 on ravio's side it looks like it says pregnant. ik it doesn't but i cannot make out what it is

[ revision glowmin here again. its research. why did i think it said pregnant. that has literally nothing to do with the fic. ]

crying begins because i can barely ready any of this so bear with me here (BEAR WITH ME!!)

the first like. act of the fic summarized in 1 easy (/s /lh) flowchart. they see the what? rooms? runes? ruins? rains? god i'm illiterate

starting panic for the Dark. singular. i forgor how/if they figured out it was just one.

ravio crossing out where wild should be in the timeline is sending me. i think he's got shit from all 3 timelines in his hyrule (yadda yadda A GAME THEORY) so that would explain why they all just cross each other out.

'wind said shit' that's a good observation. is this as in he said STUFF or as in he cursed and actually said the shit word. important distinction. maybe Wind says something in the war of eras??

the question mark between cia and rulie. is that dink. whats up with the question marks after hyrule. does that imply that it fucking disappears at some point?? or do they just not know

the part where i think ravio's mental state went wewewewewewewwoowowwowow

'evil god hylia?' the Potential though. i don't think its gonna happen but man that'd be a twist. how do you stop the reincarnation of your lover's soul: fucking kill all of them

'evil blink' is that. vaati?? nvm it says evil link i'm illiterate again oopsies!! now we know how ravio came up with dink. cooked

'inconsistent travel more than one person in control' yeah fucking kohga is in on this. drag him ravio

'resurrected monsters by blood curse/blessing' is this related to hyrule's blood curse. i don't think dink wants to revive ganon so what does he need the blood for. is he wanting to ascend to godhood?? vague sputtering sounds

one timeline makes sense when we hear abt why ravio didn't tell everyone about red's death. still sad but that line paired with 'so we keep going forward [...] no counting on do-overs [...] one step at a time [...] together [...] or not at all' really hits home.

this took 3 hours but yeah i'm Normal about this

[golbrocklovely]

i also sent this to xplrvibes, btw.

i found a psychic reading on colby and malia's relationship, and i watched it. throughout the whole video, it seems like their relationship is starting to go down, and colby might be losing interest, or something bad happened like an argument and they're just distant with each other rn. the psychic reader also said the relationship doesn't really seem serious and as more of a friends with benefits....but i also don't know much about psychic reading so idk if any of that could be true.

here's the link tho so you could watch it, maybe get your own opinion from it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gww1I9VmBNY&ab_channel=MiiksConspiracies

yall are making me come out of retirement with this tarot reading sksksks

imma be so forreal, and this is no hate to the girl that did this reading. but genuinely…. if you're already going into the reading getting the "ick" from both parties involved, maybe that's your sign to not do it. idk, but that's how i feel about it.

also, when i do a reading (and i'm by no means an expert so don't take my word for it, this is just what i do) while i "tap in" to others' energies, i don't try to feel what's going on. i just let the cards talk and then circle back. bc otherwise, when you say "i'm getting the vibe that" it just makes you sound like all the fans on twitter that hate the girls from day one and said "idk why, but i just get bad vibes from them" lol

and i have to add that the ppl on twitter talking about this literally said of this reading "oh she must be one of us" bc she sounded like them so that gives you an idea as to what's said in the video.

so…. here's my reading on malia and colby. and i know, i said i wouldn't but i had to.

this is a very quick reading so i'm not gonna go into the most amount of detail.

how does colby feel about malia: nine of pentacles reversed. colby is guarded and has issues opening up completely, even tho he wants to. fear of losing his independence. shocker to literally no one.

hanged man. love can't be rushed, so while he might feel the connection, he shouldn't jump the gun on this, or listen to outside sources on what to do next in his relationship. don't force things. timing is everything.

eight of pentacles. he's learning new things about malia everyday, slowly cultivating his relationship with her. there's still plenty of room to grow for him and her.

four of swords. colby needs his alone time, he feels as if maybe he is spending too much time with her, or at the very least needs time to sit back and reset (since he is such an introvert).

how does malia feel about colby: two of swords. there's something blocking them from solving certain problems that are arising. my guess is him being unable to completely open up quite yet. this is not a bad thing, since what they need to do is sit and communicate.

knight of pentacles. this is could also be the answer to their "problem". the knight of pents is a dedicated partner, but also extremely absorbed in his work (sounds like colby to a T). but this is also a sign of steady and secure relationship.

the sun in reverse. boredom. however things are still good. just no excitement.

queen of pentacles. stable time, fruitful. a lot of stability.

what does all of this mean?

so what i'm gathering is that colby does care for malia, but he is being held back by his own past issues and isn't able to fully open up to her yet. and on top of that, he doesn't want to move too fast (probably bc his past relationship moved too fast and then he got left behind) so i think he's doing his best to take things slow. and he slowly is enjoying his time more and more with her, but he also needs to remember to give himself some time to unwind and be alone. which he has talked about before in the past needing from previous partners.

as for malia, she wants to connect to colby and get to know him better but his issues are making that a bit hard for her. but not only that, he's busy. that man loves working, so she sometimes feels as if she doesn't get to see him without it being a work vacation, so to speak. but she definitely sees herself being with him long time. she sees he is dedicated to her, but the speed at which they are going is going to bore her a bit. eventually she will realize that it's for the best, since she will soon see that things will work out well.

what i gather is that both of them seem to be in for the long hall, they just have to make sure to communicate. and take time to themselves.

also let's not forget that they have only been together for like four months really, bc they met in late nov/early dec and probably didn't start actually dating/getting serious until january/february so like… let's cut them some slack yall lol