#i literally just rant a bout a stupid boy

[princessmyriad]

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[cau-lee-flower215]

leedle i finished gatsby and i would love to hear your thoughts on mr tom buchanan 👀

mkay so. i will preface this with saying i do not condone abuse or adultery or racism or sexist beliefs or any of the other terrible things tom mentions within the story.

that being said.

tom is my favorite character without any sort of question in my mind.

to me, he’s the most interesting character, he has the most pizazz to me and i just really loved watching his character progress and regress throughout the course of the novel.

he’s got some of my favorite quotes, he’s very witty in a very stupid way and as someone who has the type in men who look like they eat cement, i can confirm tom has absolutely no thoughts in his head.

being raised with money, he likes to appear smart and so he’ll just rant about random things, but he truly has no idea what he’s saying. he just wants to seem impressive because he’s supposed to be all impressive, you know, and that’s really the epitome of his old money stance, he’s very stuck in the what was, not really caring for the what is. he’s very out of place in the crowd of the novel because everyone else is much more interested in new money- literally it’s always tom against everyone else-

the way he treats daisy, while absolutely retched, is also another thing i enjoy analyzing. not only do i appreciate the way he represents the idea of masculinity of the time (themes of masculinity are a really big deal to me @a-person-who-didnt-wanna-be-here can confirm that) but i will die on the hill that he did truly care for her. i will set up my tent and camp out until the sun sinks below the horizon, never to return again to the sky.

but anyway.

he loves daisy. it’s a bad love, but it’s love. she doesn’t have a good love him for either, so ya know, that’s another thing to yap about. but he wants daisy. he wants her to be happy and yeah, it’d be great if he was the one making her happy, but he doesn’t care how she becomes happy as long as she keeps being the kind of wife he wants her to be.

again, he’s very icky, but he’s also everything an old money husband of the time would have been, so you cannot fault him without faulting all the others alongside him.

anyway.

tom loves daisy, it’s a terribly toxic love, but he does truly care for her in some way shape or form so ya know, my boy is capable of emotions okay? he’s got harsh feelings, he just doesn’t know how to act properly, properly by the standards we have set in today’s world-

and then lemme get to myrtle.

good lord. he spoils her when he’s not…ya know…breaking her nose. he may love daisy, but he loves myrtle too and again, it’s one of those, he doesn’t know how to act and he gets these really big bouts of emotions that he really doesn’t know how to handle.

can we say a lack of education in dealing with emotions across the history of the ideal of masculinity in america?

tom has anger issues. obviously. but ya know…that’s probably not the worst thing about him.

and at the end? when myrtle dies? he weeps. you know who else wept? jesus. but anyway. he weeps over her dying when he goes to the apartment and sees that little box of dog treats.

there’s a quote i really like, it’s nick’s quote, but it’s about tom being all secure and then losing both his wife and his mistress within the span of an hour. i just.

god.

i feel that. i really do.

and him and gatsby, oh gosh, tom’s threatened by gatsby because he knows daisy loves gatsby in a much better way than she loves tom and he hates it. he’s supposed to have an obedient little wife that loves him and only him despite all of the terrible things he does and to watch daisy blatantly go after gatsby, that does things to my boy.

old money vs new money with a dash of the effects of toxic masculinity.

tom’s just.

he’s just.

from the moment they introduced him, i was in love and intrigued, and i truly enjoyed watching him throughout the novel and listening to him in the broadway soundtrack-

okay that’s all i have to say right now cause i know i sound stupid.

[littlebugs]

my personal outer banks rant (character based) A/N: i have absolutely nothing against the actors of the show, this is just my full on review of outer banks and it's characters (i loveee the show so much tho, can't wait for obx 3!!!!)

see my site! https://littlebugs.tumblr.com/

jj maybanks obviously i had to start with jj.... this man has some serious trauma but somehow the series almost manages to play it off? i feel like there are a few key moments in the series but you don't really see his character getting a lot of sympathy from the other characters except for whenever it just manages to come up (sic the hot tub scene). also this man is straight up gorgeous MWAH! cut like a diamond, and he has that beach boy vibe. favorite vanilla boy in this series.

john b john b has an interesting personality and tbh it confuses me sometimes. maybe it's because his actor is like way old to play a 16-17 year old, he has this air of an adult while like doing stupid stuff, and he looks like an adult as well. he also got... married. not legally, but he got married. and honestly hes been through so much i don't even blame him- man just wants something stable in his life.

sarah cameron to be honest about her... i dont hate her! i though sarah might be stuck up in her old ways but she actually is quite a "go w/ the flow" girl. but home girl looses her dad (for a short time anyways) literally watched him die with leads to like a huge amount of trauma, has her brother attempt to murder her (yikes) and is on the run from police after being framed an accomplice in murder? not to mention getting kidnpped by her dad who turns out to be alive... i kinda forgive her for any rash actions because she arguably has one of the hardest times in the series.

kiarra carrera im sorry. I HATE IT. kiarra is a privileged girl who decides to run with underprivileged guys. i have not problem with that whatsoever! the problem is that now from hanging out with them, she calls herself one of them. you can't just think that (almost) poverty is easy peasy. yeah it's fun to hang out with the pouges, but at the end of the day she goes home to a warm house with food and a bed. people like jj and possibly john b might not have food in the house. she calls herself one of "them" but shes truly just glorifying the lifestyle and taking the advantages. not to mention her unstable relationship with pope who actually likes her. shes incredibly self centered and unaware and I HATE IT.

pope heyward POPE! i love popes rational thinking skills, hes one of my favorite characters. he rlly cares for his friends, but he also wants to have a future, unlike some of the other pouges who seems to be just lounging around. he works hard, and then works harder. he is probably one of the most underrated characters in obx. there is also something just so aesthetically pleasing about his voice it's crazy. pope arguabbly has a better home than most of the charecters with a mother and father who care bout him, but what hurts is when he runs away from them with his friends (i know he comes back, but the looks in his dads face almost made me cry istg).

rafe cameron ok... controversial character alarm!!! a lot of people like rafe but i can't understand it! yes rafe is... very handsome. yes rafe is.... also probably a psychopath. rafe definitely has something physiologically going on, and it seems like his family isn't intent on getting him help. rose cameron even says rafe has been like this since eleven. eleven!!! and they still haven;t helped him... sounds like it's getting worse to me. that may also be the reason rafe seems to fall into drugs more than any other character- it might - per say - let him escape his mind. all in all mr. rafe cameron needs some serious help and i would love to see if he has a healing process in season 3

ward cameron i do not like this man. not at all. he seems to completely ignore wheezie, honestly poor wheezie (we'll dig deeper later), he lets one of his children kill someone for him, and the other framed for the murder, murders people, marries rose (a mistake on his part because shes def toxic), and puts his children through immense trauma by killing himself and coming back to life. he also kidnaps people and blames the people HE murdered on some poor 17 year old. i can't.

topper to be honest i kinda like topper. topper is yes, a white, cis, straight male, but aren't rafe and jj? he is rlly respectful to be honest. he friends and some of the other kooks on figure eight are kind of jerks, but topper seems to be nicer. despite pushing john b of a tree or something he hasn't done anything wrong. he literately gets broken up with by sarah and WILL STILL risk himself for her. he also tells her he will never stop loving her, but gives up on the chase because hse doesn't want him. this man has a very very decent amount of respect and i adore him.

wheezie oh my god this poor kid. she's what 12 or 13? so uhm... i dont even know where to start. ok so her dad is a crazy murderer who scars her for life. her brother is also a murderer. her sister has been framed for murder. her mother is an accomplice in wards murder..... ugh. just let me whisk poor wheezie away and adopt her. also like ward does not seem to care about wheezie he speaks to her like 10 times -_- its crazzzy. i hope she turns out okay and honestly i would like to see some more wheezie character development.

carla limbrey poor carla. shes a jerk, but i feel bad. kinda. girl was dying and just wanted a cure, something to hold onto. she didn't have any sinister intentions, but it kinda turned evil because of her overwhelming urge for this cross and garment.. and omg renfield you jerk i hate him.

anyways this took an hour give or take so i hope you liked it!

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Only now do I realize the power of this letterboard and the ability to write whatever I want

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Mistaken Identity

Osamu x gn!reader

You wished you’d paid more attention now. Telling your friend about the handsome boy that you literally ran into over the weekend when you walked through the door of a coffee shop, knocking his drink all over the front of his shirt before insisting on buying him a new one while your face blazed with embarrassment. He had agreed, but only if you joined him at the table outside he was originally heading for to have a drink with him now. He had been the sweetest, a perfect gentleman even after the mishap you’d caused when you met, and you hadn’t looked at the napkin he left on the table until he was long gone, with just the name Miya and a completely unreadable phone number.

Your friend had insisted she could figure out who it was, demanding information, and you knew what he told you, whether or not it was true. He talked about playing volleyball, he talked about food, and the goofy things his brother or teammates had done, but you couldn’t name much else about him. You thought you would know him if you ever saw him again, but it’s not like you were getting your hopes up either. The chances were a long shot.

When your friend found you a week later, swearing she found him, you couldn’t help but feel like it was too easy. She swore she overheard him talking about the incident with other members of the school’s volleyball team, and you couldn’t get her to cancel the meeting if you wanted to. But that was what led you here, sitting across from a face you remembered very well, but you felt like was something was off. He was flirtier than before, and kept bragging about how good and athletic he was, and your eyes kept dragging up to his poor blonde dye job. What caught you off guard the most were his eyes. They were the same color you remembered, but they weren’t the same. This was him but it also wasn’t somehow. And that thought made you feel terrible, because this was the face you’d been thinking about for the last week, wasn’t it? Had you romanticized the first meeting too much? You weren’t even sure anymore.

“Sorry, what position did you play again?”

“‘M the setter. Basically the most important for everythin’ to run smooth.” You smiled and nodded but you could feel your brows furrow in response, hadn’t he said before that setters were too cocky? He chuckled, almost like he was reading that thought in your head, “This might sound stupid, but we haven’t met before, have we?” You bit your lip, but he nodded with a grin, “Naw, it’s okay, I can tell my responses have been off, ya know? Yer friend heard me talkin’ to the guys, but I wasn’t tellin’ them about my weekend.”

“She said-“

“She said I described it the same ya did when ya told her, right?” You nodded, still confused, “I wasn’t tellin’ ‘em my story. I was sorta just makin’ fun of ma brother.”

“You’re the twin…” You muttered, more to yourself than anything, understanding finally coloring your tone.

“Ah, so ‘Samu told ya ‘bout me, huh?” The faux blonde sighed, rolling his eyes, “Prolly mostly stuff about me annoying him, right? Bet he was afraid I’d steal ya.” He winked, sending a smirk your way before he laughed, “Kiddin’, I was gonna tell yer friend she had the wrong guy, but I wanted to see the person that had my brother so smitten.”

“I knew something was different when I saw you.” You confessed, “I just couldn’t put my finger on what.”

“What was yer gut sayin’?”

You bit your lip, was it stupid to be honest? “Your eyes. They’re different than I remembered.” He snorted, the laugh was so similar.

“That’s definitely not what most people notice at first. But ‘Samu was ranting about how you were special.”

You felt the heat creep up your cheeks, even though you weren’t someone that got embarrassed, but hearing him say his brother thought that of you did the job. Suddenly you groaned, “I don’t know if I can ever bring myself to look him in the face again now.”

He just shook his head, “Don’t ya worry too much, ya hear me? He doesn’t even know about us meeting today, so ‘s not like he’ll think ya planned ta meet me instead of him.”

“It’s not that. I-“ you could feel your face grow a little redder as you mumbled, “I couldn’t remember enough about what he looked like to even describe him accurately. So she found you- and I’m sorry, what the hell is your name?”

He just laughed, “‘m Atsumu, and my brother is Osamu.”

“So Osamu is the one I ran into…hypothetically-“

“No hypothetical about it, I’ve already taken care of it.” He smirked, shifting to his feet before waving at something over your head, “Hey! Weirdest thing, this lovely person just started talking about how they met someone that looked just like me. Would ya know about that, ‘Samu?”

You stiffened, a similar voice snapping back, “What are ya runnin’ yer mouth about, piss hair?”

Atsumu just snorted, “If that’s how ya wanna be, I’ll just take this date with Y/N then.”

The footsteps you heard coming suddenly stopped, and you could almost feel his stare at the back of your head and you cursed yourself for not running as soon as you realized you met the wrong brother today. Slowly, almost painstakingly, you started to turn around before Atsumu just groaned, stomping over and dragging Osamu to stand in front of you. “Hi, ‘Samu.” You muttered shyly.

“Y/N. So ya found the better twin, then?” If his voice had sounded smug, you would’ve believed he meant finding him. But it sounded almost defeated, and you realized he thought you liked Atsumu more. Your hand snapped out, grasping his wrist as he went to turn away.

“I did. Last week. But then I couldn’t read his number through his chicken scratch and had to resort to my friend eavesdropping on the boys’ volleyball team, only for the okay twin to set us up right.” You could feel how hot your face was getting, praying that you weren’t making a mistake, “I remembered him talking about the food he wanted to make like a spark was burning inside him, I remembered him talking about the stunts his brother pulled with a fond exasperation, and I remembered the way his eyes showed their interest when he asked me questions no matter boring my answers were. But as much as I remembered, I couldn’t for the life of me picture his hair color, or his height, or typical things someone remembers about a person because I didn’t care about any of it. What made him the better twin was his personality, and his humor, and his conviction of what he wants in life. And I really, really hope he feels the same way I do so I’m not making a complete embarrassment of myself right now.” You shifted your eyes to stare at your feet, waiting for a response that didn’t seem like it was coming.

“Osamu, aren’t you gonna-“

“Beat it, Tsumu.”

“Excuse me!?” The setter squawked, “After what I did for ya, yer just gonna-“

“Me and Y/N have a date we need to do,” your head snapped up, seeing that fond look back in his eyes, “So head home. I left dinner in the fridge for ya.”

Atsumu grinned, saluting the two of you before making his way down the sidewalk. You smiled shyly at the grey haired brother, “You made him dinner?”

“Not exactly.” Osamu shrugged, “But I made food earlier, and I don’t care too much about him eatin’ it if it means I can stay here with ya.”

“I would really like it if you stayed, ‘Samu.” You chuckled at the flush that hit his cheeks when you said his name, “But maybe when you leave me this time you could put your number into my actual phone? I haven’t learned how to decode your handwriting yet.”

He groaned, but he was smiling, and maybe the mistaken identity wasn’t so bad if it led you this.

Masterlist

[pokidragon]

I wrote another rant about the School for Good and Evil, my thoughts on fixing the queer baiting, so ignore if you don’t care bout that

I’ve been thinking about it some more because the movie pissed me off so much and come up with a solution to The School for Good and Evil’s queer baiting problem. Make Agatha or Sophie a boy. Then change absolutely nothing else about the plot - except for the antisemitism in the evil school obviously.

This movie/book is trying the whole progressive “friendship is just as important and powerful as romance!” thing - which is true - they just went about it in a dumb and homophobic/heteronormatice way. Girl power is all we ever see in fiction, why can’t we see a platonic friendship between a boy and a girl that stays platonic forever and is proven to be more powerful than romantic love?

However, gender swapping one of the characters creates new problems like the boy always saving the girl or the boy being drawn to the dark and evil side - but there are solutions to this as well! If the movie is actually well written and displays its themes and characters much better than it did then such tropes aren’t a problem. Additionally, if Sophie is actually seduced by the dark side instead of kinda sorta being manipulated into it then the gender of the character is irrelevant. Or, u could have it that she jumps at the chance to be evil only to realize that isn’t what she really wants and that she is hurting the people she loves - that way her agency is still in tact. No manipulation required, the choice is always hers. That would honestly be a more compelling story and show kids that they will make mistakes in life but it is never too late to change course and make it right. I think the problem with the movie’s portrayal is that it is between these two extremes. If it picked one and went all out it would have worked better thematically.

I personally like the AU that Agatha is a boy. Not only does this allow young boys in the audience to see an incredibly soft and compassionate prince who is fiercely good in comparison to all of the shallow princes in the good school, it also shows them that these are not qualities reserved for girls - and gives them a gay relationship they can look up to! Girls have a number of queer relationships they can look up to but young gay or bi boys rarely see themselves in fiction designed for kids (outside of the parents of side characters). Give me a soft boi prince who is genuinely good for once. One so devoted to his friend that he ignores his own desires just to get her away from the toxic environment that is poisoning her. In this AU, b!Agatha still falls in love with Tedros. He is still jealous of Sophie spending time with him and trying to woo him and this time, the audience’s natural inclination is to think he has feelings for Sophie but no! That’s his best friend! b!Agatha still gets flustered around Tedros and they have all those stupid meet cute moments like they do in the movie. In the end, after Sophie has broken away from evil’s grasp on her own like in the movie, she sacrifices herself for b!Agatha and Agatha’s kiss on the forehead* is what brings her back. They save each other. They cannot defeat this evil alone. Then b!Agatha makes out with Tedros and the two go home. The end. Boom

Power of Friendship accomplished.

No queer baiting.

Accomplish subverting hetero normative and romance beats all tropes.

It is that easy.

You literally don’t need to change anything about the plot.

*a kiss on the lips has very specific narrative inclinations in fiction. There is a reason Maleficent kisses Aurora on the forehead. Cuz it would be weird as fuck for an adult mother figure to kiss an adult child figure on the mouth. A kiss on the mouth is coded as inherently romantic in fiction. If Boy Agatha kissed Girl Sophie on the mouth, not only would people assume it is romantic, people would also start screaming about consent. The only reason this doesn’t happen in the movie (by straight people that is) is because Sophie and Agatha are the same gender.

[thecaptainhelm]

Shut Your Mouth Pt.2

hahaha, daminette part two, wasn’t a one shot, gn gn gn.

Marinette sighed as the shower warmed up, rolling her neck and relishing in the light feeling of accomplishment. Ever since Hawkmoth had been defeated, a mere two days ago, things had been tense. Hawkmoth, now known as Gabriel Agreste, was arrested along with his assistant Nathalie Sancoeur who had since retired as Mayura the year before. It was a stroke of luck to discover that the Guardian had the ability to forcibly renounce a broken Miraculous. Something Gabriel hadn’t known, granting them extra time as he futilely tried to ‘fix’ the brooch. While that happened, she managed to finally convince Chat to at least keep him as a suspect if not out of suspicion, then to actually strike him from their list. It didn’t take long rack up evidence against him, especially after learning from the Bats of Gotham. 

The battle was quiet, in the early hours of the morning, where the city forcibly cut the power to the Agreste mansion, and it only took one Venom for each while they slept defenselessly. It took only a few minutes to find evidence that he was at least working with Hawkmoth, and when they found the miraculous pin and brooch, it was confirmed that he was, indeed, Hawkmoth with Nathalie working as his henchwoman Mayura.

Soon, with what was probably the fastest trial of the century, Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur were declared guilty and sentenced to serve life in prison and an insane asylum respectively. It had only shocked her for a moment that Mayura pleaded guilty and asked to be sent directly to rehab for mental help, by reason of insanity wrought by grief. What did surprise her was that she was the one to take the miraculous and give them to the Agreste couple as an anniversary gift, ultimately setting off a chain of unforeseen consequences.

That was a whole other cake she didn’t want to bake just yet, so she decided to finally just take a moment to breathe for what felt like the first time in five years. 

So it was only normal that her smartwatch chimed on the hook of the shower caddy, a picture of a frowny eagle glaring right at her. She cursed her luck, yeah, no breaks was still her usual routine. It must be real hard for the universe to break out that particular habit.

Then she remembered that she set this particular picture and ringtone for the one person who had never called.

Robin, the vigilante that she might have, kind of, definitely made an enemy of.

Who was also her crush, so that was just. Great.

In her defense, she was a human being, and human beings were capable of amazing feats. It was just that her amazing feats were more amazing bouts of stupidity. Seriously, why did she do it? Just where did her common sense escape to make her think that was even a remotely good idea, because she wanted to go there and never come back.

She had kissed-- no! She made out with Robin, the most notoriously ill-tempered member of Batman’s team. The only reason he didn’t deck her in the face was because, because, well she didn’t know! Was it mercy, a misplaced feeling of pity, perhaps?

No, actually, it was more likely that he was frozen stiff with rage. Marinette couldn’t blame him, heck, she’d be angry too, suddenly getting passionately smooched in the middle of livid rant. 

She had planned on giving him her contact information for the longest time, since they'd come to the understanding that they only wanted to do what was best for everyone, the kind of understanding that only leaders could have. And to maybe get closer to him as much as professionalism allowed. So, it stood to reason that she had to go ahead and ruin that, too. She really couldn’t believe herself sometimes, who randomly kisses someone, hands them their number, and then trots off back to work? Marinette Dupain-Cheng apparently.

In fact, it was about time he called. She had pretty much an entire year to prepare herself for what was sure to be a concise and frigid rejection, maybe even a “Stay for away from, lest I stab everyone in this room and then jump out of a window out of utter disgust”? She might as well get it over with and then move on to be alone for the rest of her life.

She wiped the water out of her eyes and squinted at the text message, before jumping out the shower with a loud curse. She hurriedly dried off and put on her clothes, before heading to the Miracle Box, rereading his message.

Emergency evac, one person, requesting Pegasus’ portal twenty kilometers horizontally above sea level precisely fifteen minutes after this message. Coordinates attached.

The message was sent ten minutes ago. How long was she catastrophizing for?!

Max was partying along with the rest of Paris while she took a breather in her art studio. Even with the full fifteen minutes she wouldn’t be able to find him in time. Shit, would she even be able to transform in time?

She grabbed the glasses from the box and Kaalki appeared in a proud flash. 

“No time, there’s trouble,” she panted. “Ready?”

“Hmph, of course,” Kaalki tossed her head. “Let’s go, shall we?”

“Kaalki, transform me!” She eyed the time, two minutes left. She memorized the coordinates as she searched for a suitable place for him to land, and realized she was going to have to catch him in her storage closet.

One minute left. She opened the door and cleared space in the center of the room.

Thirty-five seconds. She stood on an old chair that she moved into the center of the room.

Twenty seconds, and she called, “Voyage!” and threw the portal up towards the ceiling.

Zero. She braced for impact and caught a body that plummeted through in a free fall.

“Ow,” she closed the portal with a groan, amidst the shattered pieces of what used to be a pretty sturdy chair.

“Don’t complain, it could have been worse.” A deep voice rasped.

Wow, to think she missed him, that asshole.

“Shut up, Robi-- oh my god your arm! Get up, getupgetupgetup!” She hauled him up as gently as possible, annoyance giving way to concern.

Robin was, putting it lightly, a mess. He had lost his mask, his eye was swollen shut and his face was bruised with cuts all over, and he was sticky with blood practically everywhere she looked. It was his arm that she was most concerned about, however. It was set in a splint, but he must have been in a rush because it was set wrong, his thumb facing perpendicular lyaway from his body.

“I am fine,” he sagged into her, weary. “I just need a place to stay for the night.”

“If you weren’t so grievously injured, I’d throw you out for that,” she remarked. “But guess what? It’s your lucky night monsieur, and I’m a trained field medic.” Robin looked at her, maskless, and she had to dart her eyes away from his maskless face.

“Oh, so Ladybug finally started replacing her subpar lineup? About time, either she benched them or Hawkmoth would kill them at some point. They were woefully incompent.” Yep, this was definitely Robin, no doubt about it with that attitude.

She called off the transformation and was somewhat pleased when he reflexively jerked his head away. She pulled him into a princess carry and made her way back to the bathroom, inwardly delighting at his reaction. She would never let him live this down.

“It’s me, Robin. Ladybug. Pegasus couldn’t make it, so you’ll have to do with me instead of a random stand-in.” She raised her brow, not that he could see it.

“Unless that bothers you, Boy Wonder?”

“...I’m not,” he mumbled.

“Hm?”

“I’m not Robin anymore.”

What. What.

“What?”

“I’ve retired, effective as of nine months ago today, Robin’s cape has been hung up for the next generation.”

Relief didn’t come yet. “Oh, so you’ve taken on a new mantle? Or are you finally the next Batman, though it would take some time to fill those shoulders. Literally, I mean that literally, um.” She observed his downcast expression and once again started walking to the bathroom. When had she stopped?

“I’m not taking over anything,” he said sullenly. “I can’t. Not after what I did.”

“Come on, it couldn’t have been so bad,” she opened the door with her heel as she backed them towards the stool by the sink. She set him down carefully, taking full stock of his injuries.

“It was. Batman’s cowl has always represented a strict moral code, one that I’ve always...struggled to adhere to.”

Marinette bit her lip as she kneeled in front of him. He didn’t say anymore, and she couldn’t think of anything to say. She sighed and brought out her med kit from the towel cabinet. She was always like this with him.

With Robin (now not Robin?) she had always drawn a blank. She could read his emotions somewhat well, had a good grasp on his moods, and could have genuinely insightful conversations with him. It was only at crucial moments like this that she struggled. Even with Adrien she had always known what she wanted to say, but Robin was different. Everything about him screamed “one chance only” and that caused her mind to go blank. It was so unbelievably frustrating that she could scream.

Marinette handed the glasses to Kaalki and nodded towards her purse hanging on the door handle. The kwami zoomed towards it and soon disappeared into it with the miraculous.

“Robin,” she called gently. He didn’t move. “I’ll have to cut your shirt off, okay? I need to see where the blood is coming from.”

“It’s not mine.The blood.” He kept his gaze away as she froze.

“Well, we’ll have to reset that arm,” she tried again. “It’s not...it’s not looking good, to say the least.”

He looked towards his mangled right arm and nodded. 

It took some time to undo the splint and she tried not to think about where he had been for him to only have rotted wood and prison rags on hand. She cut his shirt off at the sleeve and down his middle, pulling it off and exposing a painful canvas of mottled bruises, scrapes, and cuts. She handed him her towel and he stuffed it in his mouth without a word. She gently untied the splint.

“Are you ready?” She gazed at him resolutely. He nodded and braced himself as best he could.

“On my count, one, two--” She re-broke his arm a count early on purpose.

“Arrghh! Ffuk!!” He jerked out of her grip.

“Hold still!” He spat out the towel and glared in response.

“Mizq dhiraei allaeaynat 'aw aidbitha!!!” She only understood ‘rip’ and ‘arm’ but she got the gist of his screaming.

“Alright it’s done now, I’m setting it, so stop moving,” She couldn’t help but sigh under his vicious scowl.

“Tsk. Be grateful that I can barely discern your features Ladybug. You’re on my shit list and I don’t feel like kicking your ass today.”

“Wow, thanks for saving me Ladybug, I could have died if it weren’t for you!” Marinette couldn’t help but snark at him.

“...tsk!” Yep, that was as good as she was going to get in his condition.

After years of fighting akuma victims she was able to observe the complex and hidden emotions of her opponents and the civilians that she rescued. And right now, her experience was telling her that Robin had more than his pride ruined. His self-confident, courageous, and taciturn nature seemed to be regressing as he fell back into what was probably a self-defense mechanism. For him to be like this instead of exhausted in his current state told her that he must have been through a lot since she last saw him.

She started to gently clean the blood off and noted the bruises underneath definitely came from an intense melee battle. Most of them were in places that made her cringe just looking at them. At least he doesn’t have any other broken bones, or stab wounds. Lucky him.

Robin put an ice pack to his face in the meanwhile and wouldn’t look in her direction.

It was quiet for a while. “So, what should I call you, then?” And she had to open her big fat mouth, didn’t she? Now it was awkward. It was awkward, and he hated her, and she was never speaking again, ever.

“Damian.” Uh oh.That didn’t sound like a moniker.

“Um, nice code name?” She started disinfecting his cuts and scrapes, trying not to panic.

“I no longer require such aliases.” Ok, process that later, heal Robin now. Process. Later.

“Ro--, Damian, uh, well,” She sighed.  “My offer still stands, you know?”

He made a quiet noise. 

“Last time I saw you, I mean. I had left in a rush,”-- after kissing you senseless-- “but I’m always here to listen if you want to talk about what happened.”

Robin, or Damian now, she still wasn’t used to that, froze. His brows furrowed and he strangely went red in the face, before sighing, slumping against the sink.

“I...the blood’s not mine. It hasn’t been my for a long time, but it might as well be for how long I’ve carried it. I’m not a good person so much as to blame myself completely, but I do recognize some of the fault as mine. I’d gotten help, and I was making progress, but it wasn’t enough. I started falling back into old habits and I hated it. I tried and I failed, and I kept trying and failing for months and I…” He gained a look of despair, the first real emotion she’s seen on him since he dropped in.

“I couldn’t do it anymore. I just kept disappointing everyone and I hated it so much,” he dug his fingers into his matted hair.

“So, I left. I decided to go on a journey to try and repent, and it was working, at least I thought it did. But, then I had stumbled upon a Shadows base and I…” He peered unseeing at the floor.

“It was like I lost all sense of reason. I lay siege to the entire facility and found my way to the next base. It all turned into an endless cycle, all the way until I reached headquarters and inadvertently met up with high ranking members of the Justice League, teaming up to diminish their power. We were successful, but a candidate for the position of the Demon’s Head activated the self-destruct module. Everyone was scrambling to get out and suddenly my mind felt clearer than it had ever been.” He took  a deep breath and Marinette moved closer to offer some comfort. He leaned towards her gratefully.

“The Justice League had already had an escape route, but the Shadows were in disarray for some reason. After I was sure my old comrades were out, I locked all the doors, and dived down to a ceremonial bathing chamber.”

“And that’s where I came in,” she whispered. I think I’m starting to like him more than I should. What is wrong with me?! Who made me this way?! She had some complaints in regards to that.

“You saved my life,” he inclined his head in an informal bow. “Thank you, Ladybug.”

“...Marinette.” She croaked suddenly. She was left reeling from his info dump and her intense, romantic feelings. So, why not go for a confession? 

Damian whipped his head up in disbelief.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Enchanté, Damian.” She smiled at his bewildered state, wiping away a bit of blood under his chin. She opened her mouth to say more, but didn’t get the chance.

Damian leapt up, furious. “You fool! I knew you were a space cadet, but I didn’t think your brain drifted beyond the stars! How utterly moronic!”

“Wait, why are you so mad?!” She panicked. She kind of had a spur of the moment idea to kiss him on his split lip, but that was looking less and less likely to happen.

(Damn it.)

“You told me your name!” he shouted.

“Yes, and you told me your’s?” She retorted. 

“Have you forgotten Hawkmoth?! Your enemy that can read the minds of the emotionally disturbed should he decide to possess them!” He started to hobble out of the bathroom, still half-treated and mostly in pain.

Oh. 

Oh!

“I have to leave, now! If I can stay calm long enough to reach the trains then I’ll be moving too fast for a butterfly to suddenly get me.”

“Uh, Damian?”

“No, it might already be enroute to someone else and might even already be on board,” He winced and stumbled on the tassel rug in the hallway.

“Woah, hang on a second Damian,” she grabbed him before he could fall, but he pulled out of her grip.

“We don’t have time for this, I can guarantee that I would be one of the worst akumas you’ve faced in your hero career, nevermind the insider information I hold within my mind.”

“Yes, but listen to me,” Damian moved towards the small sitting area, not listening to her. 

Again.

“This safehouse should be around one hundred kilometers from the city limits, you’re safe for now, but Hawkmoth’s estimated rate of growth was--”

That’s it!

Marinette grabbed his jaw and slammed it closed. She had had enough.

“This isn’t a safehouse, we’re in my art studio,” she snapped. She could see the rage begin to build to new heights in his eye.

“No, shut your mouth, and listen!” A vein in his forehead started to pulse, but he didn't move to speak.

Good.

“Hawkmoth has been defeated as of last week, and the trial was concluded a couple days ago. Going by what you told me, you've been out the loop for almost a year, so you don’t know that my team and I had closed in on Hawkmoth’s trail some time ago and were able to build a solid case that’ll go through in a court of law,” She carefully let him go.

“So, you’re safe, I’m safe, and Paris is safe too.” She’d already started to calm down in the middle of her explanation, and idly noted that she should probably take an anger management class.

And sign up for therapy. Lots of it, preferably.

Damian nodded slowly as he rubbed his jaw and she couldn’t help her wince.

“Sorry, did I handle you too roughly? Come here,” she started to pull him back towards the bathroom. He resisted.

“No, it’s fine, no damage just from that much force,” he tugged his arm away but she quickly moved behind him and began to push him through the bathroom door.

“Well, I’m not done treating you, so get back in there.” He grabbed the door frame and pushed back, and her calm demeanor left as quick as it came. Was it even truly there to begin with?

“I said,” she picked him up and threw him back on the stool where he grasped for stability.

“Come here.” She leaned in close to his bruised face, and wow, the one eye that she could see was so very, very green. “I’m not done with you, yet.”

“...okay,” he whispered. He kept his head down.

It didn’t take long to finish disinfecting the rest of his wounds, and soon she started applying ointment to the worst of his bruises. She had enough, but she was definitely going to be restocking in order to play his nursemaid for the next week or so. She rose to her feet and started packing away her kit.

“I’ll give you some pain meds for the night, I’ll leave you to take care of the injuries under the rest of your clothes. Come find me in the kitchenette. I’ll make something for us, though it won’t be anything fancy.”

“That is fine.” Marinette frowned at the strange husk in his voice. Did someone try to suffocate him? Why hadn’t she noticed until now?

She kneeled beside him and reached around him for the water bottle she had left in there earlier, but noticed him twitch and start to blush. Did he get a fever too?

She observed his red face and clear, but dilated eyes. Merde, did she embarrass him from earlier? She knew he had a large ego, but it was his own fault for being stubborn.

“Here, get yourself some water from the sink,” she handed the glittery black bottle to him and hurriedly strode out of the bathroom, calling,

“Holler if you need me!” 

Completely aware of the flustered state she left Damian in. Though not for the reason she thinks, at least.

[shugokairifatewin]

An AOT Rant for a Freshly Finished Season 4, Part 1 Watcher

Alright, it seems like this has become a habit of mine when I can’t seem to expel something from my mind - so here I am, with yet another rant at the end of a devastating arc of story that has drawn me in, probably a bit too much, as per usual - oops! Time to set the tone and listen to the saddest songs from Attack on Titan that literally rip me to pieces now that we’re all the way in season 4! :’D

So big spoiler warning for anyone who hasn’t caught up on the Attack on Titan anime! Here’s your chance, turn back now or forever hold your peace!

...

......

.........

Alright, we are definitely going to start at the end of season three because um what the ACTUAL fuck? Did NOT expect some “this is the actual world and you’re just ignorant and underdeveloped” bs. I have too many feelings surrounding this and I definitely want to focus on a season 4 rant more than a season three and prior rant (I should really just a start live streaming this clearly!) but one of many feelings is just shock? Also OUR SWEET BABY ANGELS GOT TO SEE THE SEA but it felt... so sad, like this was a turning point? Like even though they saw the ocean and Armin was just so overcome with joy that he got to experience this with his best friends, I felt so sad :c And it felt very much like so much bullshit had happened that Eren really couldn’t bring himself to even enjoy that moment - WHICH CRUSHES MY SOUL *wheeze* SOMEONE GIVE THIS POOR BOY A HUG-

Buuuut this is about season 4, so we’ll continue with that. Honestly, really wasn’t a big fan of the first chunk of season 4. I was thinking about how much I really couldn’t care less about Marley and all their stupid, ass-hattish bullshit that they put my poor babies through - WE DIDN’T NEED TO LOSE PETRA OR ERWIN BECAUSE MARLEY HAS A GRUDGE AGAINST ELDIANS ALRIGHT YOU GUYS SUCK - so when they came at me with all this fucking bratty Eldian-raised-Marlian crap, I was NOT happy about it. Not a fan of Gabi, didn’t care about the other kids either, really, and I especially wasn’t a fan of the other titans (which...slowly changed, in some ways). It just all had such a bitter taste in my mouth after everything that happened in the previous seasons. Though I admit they did a good job of making me soft for characters I didn’t care for, like I feel terrible for how oppressed the Eldians in Marley are and I get that they don’t have a choice in most of it but it was just a weird place for me. Falco is really a saving grace character in that arc for me.

Also 1000% knew it was Eren as soon as he spoke / appeared. I really was thinking the whole time that he was there on a mission from the Scouts and he kept saying things about his family and I was like oh shit they done infiltrated, they ‘bout to get wrecked. And when shit hit the fan and everything started devolving I had to say - and God I am definitely not proud of it - but like this is how it felt to them in Shiganshina? But simultaneously I felt like a trash can because it just wasn’t like Eren to go so wholeheartedly ape-shit on innocents. (Again, it was a weird time for me - but I guess that was the point x.x) Something felt really weird about the whole thing.

AND BOY WAS I RIGHT BECAUSE WHEN LEVI KICKED HIM RIGHT IN THE HEAD I ALMOST SCREAMED - talk about a blindside? I wasn’t expecting him to have gone completely AWOL and start acting on his own!

Won’t lie though... >.>

THIS MAN CAN KICK ME AROUND ANY DAY MY GOD I LOVE LEVI-

AND FUCKING SASHA DUDE IMMEDIATELY CEMEMNTED MY ANNOYANCE AND HATRED FOR GABI - WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FUELING MY LOVE FOR FALCO BECAUSE HE FUCKING GETS IT, VIOLENCE IS NOT THE KEY

She deserved better, and I will never recover from her death. *Scout Salute*

ALSE WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS IS GOING ON IN ZEKE’S HEAD, SLKDOIRJFEORIJ I WAS SCREAMING OMFG

Anyway, lets fast forward to the last three episodes or I’ll talk for hours and hours. When Eren just straight up showed up in the room with Mikasa and Armin and Gabi in the third to last episode I was like:

BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL HE LOOKING DAMN FINE

SIR DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, THAT’S LEVI’S JOB.

Second, WHERE DID YOU EVEN COME FROM- AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!

And here is when I really started spiraling because I was like no its gonna be fine because he’s finally going to get to explain himself and tell Armin, HIS BEST FRIEND, and Mikasa, HIS LITERAL PROTECTOR WAIFU LOVER, why he’s going nuts and acting like a sociopath, and everything’s going to be fine and it’s all going to make sense, and his reasoning will be sound and he and Zeke are actually going to help the Eldians take down Marley and save all the Eldians that are stuck in internment-

BUT OH NO THAT ISN’T WHAT THE HELL WE GET. INSTEAD WE GET PAIN. AND SORROW. AND DEPRESSION. AND MY FUCKING HEART LITERALLY BROKE IN HALF-

MY WHOLE FUCKING HEART ABSOLUTELY SHATTERED BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN MY OTP FOR THIS WHOLE ASS ANIME AND I CANNOT FUNCTION IN A WORLD IN WHICH EREN TRULY HATES MIKASA

AND IF THIS WASN’T BAD ENOUGH THE FUCKING LAST TIME I SEE LEVI, MY HUSBAND, IS GETTING BLOWN TO BITS- *SCREAMS*

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, EVERYTHING IS UNACCEPTABLE!

There are only a few things in this world I cannot handle. Losing my favorite character in a horrible way - I still have hope that Levi is okay, though, he’s an Ackerman after all and I’m fairly certain he’ll survive...I hope so anyway or it’ll be one less reason to finish this anime x_x

Another is taking one of my favorite characters and TURNING THEM AGAINST THE PROTAGS - ESPECIALLY IF IT IS A PROTAG THAT IS BEING TURNED AND TWISTED AGAINST THOSE WHO WERE ONCE HIS/HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS-

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A WHOLESOME ANIME OPENING WITH THEIR CHILDHOOD FRIENDSHIP AND ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL BUILD UP AND THEN FUCKING WRECK ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT IN EPISODE 73 YOU SADISTS-

And so, as a coping method, I have invented a theory :’) Because that is how I must cope for the next two months. You manga readers keep quiet and let me dream, by the way! No confirmation or declines on here! ;P

*jumps into the rabbit hole*

So, Eren, whilst he was living among the Marlians, continuously kept mentioning his family and how he doesn’t think he can face them anymore, and yada yada. And despite everything, the scouts showed up and they were there for him even though they didn’t think it wise. He also made a great point while he was being held captive that at any point, he could break out but he didn’t - very well could have been because he was waiting for the right time, but again, I can hope that he really didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Which leads me to the fact that he HASN’T hurt anyone, not anyone he considered family, friends, or allies - not physically anyway :’) - He very easily could have slaughtered them all and after gaining the support of all the Military he really doesn’t have much standing in his way. So he still cares?

Something else that really, really rubs me the wrong way about this whole thing is how much most of this goes against what Eren believed for so long. Like why the seven hells would Eren want to just slaughter the entire Eldian internment district? Bro, those are your peeps being held captive, they aren’t your enemies! I understand the Marlians, definitely understand that, but the Eldians who’ve done nothing but be oppressed for the last century or so?

Definitely not Eren’s style. And his conversation with Reiner sort of proves that. He talks about how he and Reiner are the same. We see a certain amount of humanity in Eren here, in the beginning of the season while he’s in Marley and that humanity seems near nonexistent when he returns to Eldia/Pardis. It just makes me think that it’s for show even more. His wording is also interesting. “I’ll keep moving forward until I exterminate the enemy.” But what IS the enemy, who is it that he wants to exterminate? The wording conflicts with Zeke’s plan that he’s supposedly going along with because in basically sterilizing all Eldians, is he really “exterminating an enemy?” Just seems a little fishy to me.

On top of all of that, there’s the fact that he has literally done nothing up to this point to show any sort of hatred or resentment towards Mikasa. Nothing but kindness. Nothing but the same amount of devotion she has shown him, Ackerman instinct be damned. It CAN’T be as black and white as what was stated in that episode.

I’m thinking (and hoping and praying to every god in existence because I really just can’t imagine the end of this anime/manga without a redemption arc for Eren) that it’s all a farce, and that he’s acting the way he is because he actually disagrees with Zeke but the only way he can actually accomplish his real goal is to play into Zeke’s hand. It seems so seriously impossible - improbable and frankly unbelievable - that the two people who he loved and cared for most in the whole world mean nothing to him anymore. I think he’s trying to martyr himself. I think that Eren is trying to make himself the villain so that when he inevitably dies (really hope not but I don’t see this ending any other way T.T) the world will see Eldians as a people who overthrew the king and wish for nothing more than peace in the wake of a tyrant.

Honestly, that theory hurts my heart, too, but I really just want to see the good in people. Maybe it makes me naïve. But I have to see the good in people, even fictional people, or I feel like there is no hope. 

[omegawolverine]

Wanna infodunp bout sumthin? Plz do (respind whenever you wanna dont even worrg bout time here)

this has been sitting in my ask box for like a week now and im so sorry about that but also the last time i posted an info dump (which, for me, means bitching my ever loving heart out about the subject, because i genuinely find it incredibly difficult to speak fondly of things i enjoy without just going "yeah i think its neat!" essentially and then forgetting all the reasons why i like it) somebody came into my replies to break the dni i made in that post, invalidate my trauma and then say i was gaslighting them for stating my own opinion so um. yeah ive been a bit hesitant to say the least, considering hot takes are basically how i show my love for things :)

but, i have now decided to just post my least inflammatory take on one of my hyperfixations in response to this and then just. leave bc i dont wanna get into drama over my dumb little opinions again.

anyways, quick dni: dont even fucking touch this post if you're going to be aggressive with me, you don't use tone tags when making corrections or criticisms or you wanna just trash my opinion. ultimately people can do whatever they want, im just expressing my own annoyances as someone who has been in the IT fandom for awhile and has some complaints as a result (as im sure most other fans do lol)

moving on...rant time:

stan uris and richie tozier are canonically best friends in IT and the erasure of their friendship in favor of appealing to reddie fans is fucking gross and weird, especially bc stan is then chalked up to just some mean jewish kid who likes birds and is annoyed by richie 25/8 instead of having an actual fucking personality in every reddie fic just bc fans want so badly to make reddie best friends to lovers and its just?? yall can make reddie best friends to lovers WITHOUT erasing stan's canonical personality. yall can make them best friends to lovers while still acknowledging that stan and richie are canonically best friends and that stan canonically was an incredibly important person to richie.

this also goes for bill and eddie btw!! its just significantly worse with stan which reads Very Wrong when you take into consideration that fic writers always write bill denbrough as a sweet little white boy who everyone's at least a little bit in love with but then write stan as this rude jewish boy who's always mean and critical of richie for just being himself (and a lot of those "annoying" traits i see people make stan give richie shit about are adhd traits, which also rubs me wrong?? like why are so many NT fic writers so comfortable with calling my ND traits annoying) which isnt even canon?? like. canonically they poke fun at each other, they call each other names and say stupid shit but not to the extent of actually hurting each other because they are best friends and they know each other to the point where they know what boundaries the other has, they arent just making passive aggressive comments at the other and then going "it's a joke bro!" when/if the other gets upset.

also?? the trend of making "fix it" fics for IT chapter 2 where eddie is revived/doesn't die but stan does and is then only brought up in passing? not fucking cute. dont call it a "fix it fic" if the only "fix it" is you reviving a character for your fucking ship, especially when the other dead character is the BEST FRIEND of 1/2 of the ship? like. what. do yall just think richie getting married would somehow fix the fact that he lost the person that he was closest to? because, news flash, the person he was closest to was not eddie. they were very close friends, richie fucking loved the dude /p and /r, but stan was canonically his best friend and was canonically the person richie was closest to like?? what is not clicking omgggg

stanley uris is an incredibly fucking important character in IT and he is especially fucking important to richie goddamn tozier. you dont just get to ignore richie's best friend and write him into this mean jewish man box because his actual personality doesnt serve your ship like for the love of fucking god stan does not need to be there to create angst for your fics, he doesnt need to be there to make your hurt/comfort piece where you make stan borderline abelist just so richie can run and cry into eddie's scrawny little arms like im begging you to just write something where the hurt/comfort doesnt come from stan being a douchebag because canonically he was not one. he was a good fucking friend, he fucking loved richie and they got each others weird asses like nobody else did.

like. idk. ultimately yall can do what you want with ur fics i guess but also it's just fucking weird if you ask me?? and maybe that's just because im a dumbass richie kinnie who absolutely adores stan, but as somebody who loves reddie and reads reddie fics regularly, it is so goddamn annoying to only see my other favorite character written in to be mean, create angst or just be fucking dead time and time again when eddie is revived and then not even written accurately half the time bc he's not a fucking fragile dude who needs help all the time either, he's a shouty little cunt who know's he can be fucking dangerous if he wants to be and he doesn't hesitate to dish out some nasty ass comments if given the chance. just please for the love of god stop writing these characters ooc its killing me fr-

(btw i know most of this shit is just done by accident and its mostly done by movie stans who havent read the book, it's just still annoying to me, ya know? and this whole post is /nm, i just talk like this bc it's what comes naturally to me!! this is how i complain about literally everything, regardless of how big the issue is so dont take this too seriously pls)

[a-dime-a-day]

annnd finally, bachelor c. this one’s more real/less jokey, just warning you - more serious than the rest.

I straight up hate this kid. you know me, I’m generally a very sweet person (or try to be anyway lol) and I don’t let people get under my skin. however….this kid’s a different breed. I say kid, but he’s my age. I went to college with him and had most of my classes with him (unintentionally). he acted super sweet and caring, always keeping an eye on me. I was in an extremely low time in my life and needed a friend when my girlfriends from high school weren’t there for me. i was diagnosed with epilepsy that year and was really having trouble. my major was making me crazy (it was male-dominated, very sexist, and generally very difficult for me because I’m not a math/science person). he was my only college friend and comforted me when I literally cried during every class, bought me lunch a couple times, and made me laugh a lot. he seemed ideal, ngl. he flirted finally and we almost dated, almost kissed actually. then he started flashing lights in my eyes and making fun of my seizures (my seizures happen in my arms and legs, but I don’t lose consciousness - I just twitch and forget what happens for a few minutes. obviously strobe lights are a trigger, and I didn’t have the right medicine yet, as I was freshly diagnosed). I tell him to stop, he laughs, does it again, etc etc. he accuses me “jokingly” of sleeping with the professor for having the highest grades despite not understanding the class. i leave. he still texts me to this day with the “u up?” crap on Snapchat, and constantly tries to join my games on Xbox, even if I’m on invisible mode. he’s sexist, rude, cruel, and ignorant. he does everything in his power to make me angry and tries to flirt while he does it, like we’re in some enemies to lovers wattpad fic. he treats me like I’m stupid and acts cutesy and “you know you love me 🥺😏😘” while he does it. I’ve blocked him dozens of times on dozens of platforms and he keeps coming back.

…sorry, that kinda turned into a rant lol, I just can’t stand him

bOI GIVE ME HIS INFO IMMA BOUT TO COMMIT A HATE CRIME

[qwertyfingers]

faith healer, come lay your hands on me

here’s a snippet from the self indulgent traumatism (trauma and autism) fic if anyone wants to read it lol. Sam and Cas love to have have problems in the middle of the night. Gen, 2k words, warning for discussions of food scarcity and calming someone down from a panic attack, nothing graphic though. Set in a nebulous late-seasons time period because I respect canon literally not at all. 

It’s the middle of the night, sometime between Dean’s custom of falling asleep on his keyboard and Sam shepherding them both to bed, but before his nightly waking up from a nightmare to wander around the bunker checking the wards. Cas is in the kitchen wiping away mostly-imaginary detritus from the counters when Sam finds him; wild-eyed and looking frayed at the seams. He nods at Cas, but nothing follows it. He just stands there in the centre of the room shaking slightly. His eye sockets look like bruises.

Cas tilts his head and squints, considering, “Are you alright, Sam?”

Sam startles in a big way. Huffs breaths in and out of his nose, forehead crinkling with the effort. “What? I. yeah I’m- I’m fine.” He pauses for a few seconds though, hands twisting at the edges of his shirt like they do when he’s worrying. He makes several aborted attempts to keep talking, each less successful than the last. Kicks gently at a table leg and scowls to himself.  “It is fine it’s just...” but he doesn’t continue, just starts gesturing with his hands, like he’s run out of words.

Cas turns back to his cleaning, watches Sam filter through all of his most common nervous gestures in the edges of his vision, seemingly not comforted by any of them. He clenches his hands, drags them over his jaw and face, tugs his hair through his fingers roughly. He bounces, frenetic, from foot to foot, socked feet making muffled tapping noises on the hard floor. Says nothing for a long time.

Cas doesn’t sleep much, so he measures his nighttimes in completed tasks rather than minutes and hours. He gets through wiping the surfaces, cleaning out the sink, and setting the dishwasher to its self-clean cycle, before he hears anything from Sam.

When he does finally speak, the words seem to burst out of him all at once, quiet but tense and all in a rush — pressured speech it was called, in the books Cas had been reading. He figured at least one person in the bunker should know about trauma’s effects, and twelve years’ experience had taught him it wouldn’t be the Winchesters.

“You know, when Dean and me were kids we- we didn’t always have a lot to eat. A lot of the time we didn’t have enough to eat. And Dean would… Dean would always feed me first.” He stops and takes a heaving breath, then three, hands clenching and unclenching arhythmically in front of him. They’re hovering just above the kitchen counter without touching, arms held awkwardly aloft like he doesn’t know where to put them. He’s curled forward, and down, head and shoulders hunched in. He looks pained.

The instinct to make oneself small learned from a childhood desperately trying to hide from the reality of his own life. Cas has long since chased away the instinct to get angry about their life before he knew them, but he never stops feeling the sadness of it. There is a deep well of agony that will never be truly told.

“The portions were already so small and he’d- he’d do this thing where he’d, like, eat half his meal and pretend to be full so he could pass the rest on to me. Never took no for an answer. And of course at first I was too young to notice what he was really doing, but then I was twelve, thirteen, and he’d still feed me like I was-” Sam winces, coughs out a small laugh, grimaces, drags his left hand over his face. “God, like I was his son. His ‘baby boy’ he used to say. And he was so thin for so long and-” Sam stops himself here, looking winded. He taps the fridge door sixteen times with his right hand as he bites at his left thumbnail.

“And obviously we were both fine in the end, Dean’s big and he’s tough but. Sometimes I get this-” he interrupts himself to tug his hands through his hair, sharp, “god it sounds so stupid but I get this thought that. That if Dean hadn’t had to feed me he’d be as tall as I am now and I get all. Normally it’s fine and I just laugh it off because it’s so ridiculous it is a ridiculous thought.” There’s a wet catch in Sam’s throat, and he’s looking at Cas like he can’t tell if he’s about to laugh or cry.

Cas nods slowly, feeling sombre. “Dean is six feet and three quarter inches tall. He is hardly a small man, Sam.” He tries a small smile, to be encouraging, in-on-the-joke but not poking fun, but he can still never tell if he’s hitting the mark or not. A face has so many muscles, and only so much conscious control over them.

Sam surprises him by laughing and crying at the same time. “He’s six feet tall, and he’s one of the strongest humans I’ve ever met — despite being completely allergic to the concept of exercise and I hate him,” he rants, a hint of panic tingeing his voice purple, “so fucking much, and I’m so tired of his bullshit, and yet sometimes I startle awake at night in a panic convinced that I deprived him of his “true height” by having the audacity to be hungry.” The air quotes are a little twitchy, but the attempt to be funny is probably a good sign. Hopefully. Sam’s less prone to sarcasm as a cover for soul-crushing misery than his brother.

Sam starts rearranging the sauce bottles scattered by the stove, hands jerky with the motion. Cas notes in the back of his mind to put them back in place once Sam calms down — Dean needs the kitchen just so. He’s been prone to his own late night trips down memory lane, lately, and he doesn’t need the added stress of obsessive compulsive cleaning on top of it all.

“I told you it was stupid, Cas,” he splutters, and he’s fully crying now, teetering on the edge of hysterical. “Christ, I feel like such an infant.”

Done with the cleaning, Cas folds his cloth into a neat rectangle, hangs it carefully through the loop of the oven door handle as he passes by. He picks up a clean cloth from the pile in the cupboard below the sink too. He heads towards Sam, movements slow and careful to give him a chance to back away — Sam’s liable to startle like a rabbit even on his best days. Cas has been trying his hardest not to trigger it; the ‘fight/flight/freeze instinct’ as he’d learned. It’s helped him understand a lot of Sam and Dean’s reaction better. He only wishes he’d known about it sooner.

He presses his hand gently to the outside of Sam’s elbow, looks him in the eyes and holds his gaze steady. “It’s not foolish, Sam. But surely, your childhood was full of enough tragedy, that you needn’t add to it.”

Sam’s breathing is heavy and ragged, and his eyes are darting between Cas, and the walls, and the condiments he’s still twitching across the counter. He stops, breathes deep, tugs his long sleeves down over his hands and dabs at his wet face. He huffs a laugh between bouts of sobs, mutters something that sounds like “Yeah, yeah, doesn’t help me stop thinking it though,” but Cas can’t be entirely sure, because Sam’s speaking into his shirt cuffs with hands clamped tight over his mouth.

Cas moves his hand slowly from Sam’s elbow to his shoulder, leans in slow to bring his other arm around Sam’s back and hold him loose to his chest. Sam gasps loudly and sobs, wet, shoves his face into the front of Cas’ shoulder indelicately as he responds with his own arms. He clutches at the back of Cas’ coat and weeps, done with trying to hold it all in. He’s shaking less now, but it’s impossible to know whether it’s progress or if he’s turning further inward without seeing his face.

Cas pulls him closer and moves the hand on his back upwards, rubs it in slow, careful circles across his shoulder blades. Pressure is good, he’d read, especially with flashbacks. Pressure grounds you in the present; a small, physical beacon of something that’s unquestionably real. He’s not sure if Sam notices or appreciates it, but he’s not going to ask; doesn’t want to run the risk of making their home feel clinical.

It seems like the kind of crying where speaking wouldn’t help, so he lets it run its course. He keeps up the pressure at Sam’s back, and takes his palm to pet at Sam’s hair, something he’d seen Dean do so many times. Sam seems to jump at first, coughing once into Cas’ sodden shirt, but doesn’t move or ask him to stop, so after a long moment of awkwardly holding his hand still on top of his head he strokes his fingers out, and Sam sighs on the end of a gurgle.

Cas hears words now and then, ‘stupid’s and ‘christ’s and once, bafflingly, ‘fucking lucky charms’, but for the most part Sam seems content to simply cry until he stops. It’s not a quick thing. The air stills around them as Sam calms, gentled down from wracking gasps to sniffling tears, to simple heavy breaths.

Extricating himself is a clumsy affair even for Sam. His arms seem to catch, held in that clutching shape by the tension of the moment, and he has to slowly roll all of his joints loose. He unfurls slowly, like a flower in sunlight, until he stands back at full height. He does look brighter, now, and he carries the crackle of something almost like grace in him, Cas thinks. Peace always shines out of a person.

He grasps Cas’ upper arm for a moment, takes the offered cloth to dry his face before handing it back to Cas and gesturing at the front of his shirt. From the wry, wrinkled-nose smile he throws him as he steps away, Cas thinks he’s also realised the shirt is already a lost cause, but Cas pats himself down anyway, something to occupy his hands for a moment.

Sam leans back briefly to rest against the counter, then gets a different idea and twists around toward the cupboards. He takes out three cups, some chamomile tea, fills the kettle up to the line drawn on the side in red sharpie. “Thanks, Cas,” he whispers with his head in a cupboard, ears tinting red. “I - heh - think I needed that.” He huffs a laugh again, some genuine mirth in it now. “Sorry about your shirt.”

“It’s quite alright. How are you feeling?” Cas can feel himself gazing a little too intensely, watching for Sam’s reactions, but he’s not worried. They know eachother well enough now that Cas can predict what would happen if it got too much; Sam would tell him knock it out, would you, would punch him lightly on the upper arm. He’d most likely try to crack a joke that would land flat, because Sam and Cas have never understood eachother’s humour very well, even when Sam isn’t sleep deprived and beginning to fade at the edges. Cas would apologise and start cleaning again just to keep out of his way. Out of his hair, as Dean would say. These are familiar dances.

Cas also knows he’s not likely to do it though, that Sam is used to his staring. And then he’s blindsided by another thought — that Sam is used to him. His presence and his quirks and his whims. Cas feels himself smile at that, warm, knowing that it’s true. They’re standing in the kitchen, in their home, and Sam just got snot all over his shirt — the shirt he’ll have to wash, manually, and iron, because he’s not really an angel anymore, doesn’t have the grace to maintain his signature look without effort anymore. The shirt that he’ll still choose to put on each morning when he could choose something simpler — because he trusts Cas enough to subject him to his 3am childhood trauma meltdowns. Cas is a human, with inexorably fallible human hands, and Sam is willing to hand him his heart in the quiet hours of the morning for a little field surgery. Cas almost thinks he feels a little sick.

[awfullyaster]

andrew and neil are switches, don’t you forget it

ok hi here for my (probably) daily aftg rant,,,,so i’m seeing that the majority of the fandom (as far as i’ve seen anyway)--or fics/fanart consisting of andreil doing the do--view neil as a power bottom ?

am i incorrect? are my resources false? idk bout u but so far i’ve only seen like one fic where neil is the top/penetrator (!mao is that even a real word idk but it sounds weird haha cute ok anyway)

and honestly, i have to disagree. i do. i’m not trying to push andrew’s boundaries by saying that neil could top, i’m just saying that y’all don’t give neil enough credit.

liek,,,,,bro,,,,,do you not see the amount of top energy neil mf josten radiates ???? like, yes, we know andrew takes the lead but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’d top forever ?????

( just a proposition, ofc but this is just my opinion based on observations--yet again ) 

( and tbh i had difficulty trying to figure who was the top and who was the bottom between them when i encountered the first hint of intimate growth in their relationship--to the point where i had to ask my best friend who hadn’t a clue what aftg was prior to (that’s when the aftg rants officially started/ignited) and it took some time/proper discussion/consideration but he first came up with the conclusion that andrew was a sub top and that neil was a power bottom )

as for yours truly, i came to the conclusion that they are both switches (some time after i finished reading).

i mean,,,,,,can you really just look at neil josten--wholly, like his entire personality, attitude (problem !), traits, &c and decide on the spot that he’s a bottom ??? how ??? how the hell do you come up with that ?????

and hear me out, i have evidence/reasons:

one) The Great Riko Roast™️. need i say more? 

(if elaboration is necessary:

keep in mind that neil (this literal fucking nobody) burned riko (supposedly the king of exy or whatever the fuck, who cares) to ground on the spot (no script, just his attitude problem (mwah i love him) and pure spite)

again, he burned him to the ground on live television, publicly humiliating riko with each and every word

idk bout u but i am so damn sure andrew found out right then n there that this bitch radiates top energy for fucking sure (or, in his words, isn’t spineless)

neil committing arson via verbal attacks is just---splendid. absolutely mesmerizing. flawless. truly inspiring. gamechanging. glorious. 

he’s so rude i love him

anyway )

two) neil can shut up andrew up without having to touch or kiss him. he can leave him speechless. with just his words. 

(yes, we know anybody & everybody knows better than to touch andrew but like i mean he wouldn’t have to fight him or whatever) (and he doesn’t have to kiss him to shut him up--though he definitely can--he doesn’t have to because that’s just how fucking powerful he is)

y’all,,,,,are you ready for one of the most amazing lines i believe we all know and love,,,,,

““You have a problem wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."

“This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless.”

“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”

“And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him.

[...andrew had his hand frozen mid-air...(i forgot the rest)]”

if this does not prove dominance to you, i don’t know what to tell you. (HE WAS MERELY SPEAKING AND ANDREW COULD NOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING-- A N Y T H I N G --TO SAY BACK BC IT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK AND HE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING AND THAT’S WHY HE SEES NEIL AS INTERESTING/WHY HE ‘HATES’ HIM SO MUCH BRO I)

hOweVeR

i know that dom bottoms exist (i think so, anyway) or bottoms that radiate top energy/the position (i.e. bottom,top) energy you radiate can be entirely different from what position you really are/are comfy with and that these are just words but that brings me to my following point,

three) (#1 insitgator, he, oh yes, neil josten, yes indeed) his unexpected (and to be frank, quite thrilling) acts of asserting dominance ?????? um ????

(when they were kith kithing next to the kitchen (next to kitchen) in neil’s dorm room) “[neil felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and against the wall it was obnoxiously loud. he already knew it was his daily countdown, but he already knew how much little time he had left. he didn’t need to reminded, especially now...andrew took it out of his back pocket and offered it to neil, pulling away from his mouth. neil took the phone from andrew’s hand and threw it across the living room, not taking his eyes off andrew. andrew watched as the phone bounced off the couch and onto the carpet. neil kissed his neck in attempt to distract him and was rewarded by a startled jolt which was enough reason to do it again. and even though andrew pushed his face away, they were close enough for neil to not miss how andrew shivered.]” 

b r o ,,,,,,,,,,,, bro,,,,,,it just--

(when they were alone in the bus otw to that one away game--belmonte, i think?) “[“i wonder when coach found out about this,” neil prompted. 

“there is no ‘this’.”

“i wonder when coach found out you only want to kill me ninety-three percent of the time.”

neil retraced his steps and had a moment of realization. before andrew left for easthaven, neil had told andrew to trust him and not ‘neil’. 

“it was before you left,” neil started... 

“coach doesn’t believe what other people want him to believe, he believes what he sees,” andrew replied...

“are you going to tell them?” neil was referring to the rest of the team, and this was up to him, whether they’ll be out or not. 

“i won’t have to. renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality.”

neil knew that matt mentioned that there were bets on about him, but he didn’t know it was about this.

“it’s a waste of time and money. they’ll all lose. i’ve said all year that i don’t swing and i meant it. kissing you doesn’t make me look any of them differently. the only one i’m interested in is you.”

“don’t say stupid things.”

“make me.” and with that, neil grabbed a fistful of andrew’s hair and pulled him in.]” 

dude,,,,,,,,,he can take control,,,,,he can,,,,he can lead, too, but he follows andrew’s because he’s a good boy and he knows how important it is. he improvises and uses what he has and takes control from there. dude. dude. 

three) honestly? i think andrew likes it. neil’s unexpected acts of confidence,,,kinda leaves him on the edge of his seat yk,, like doesn’t it increase his percentage? it does, right? cuz ik it did when andrew guided neil to touch his chest and neil emulated andrew’s words, “i won’t be like them. i won’t let you let me be.” (i love them bye) but liek,,,,yeah idk andrew liking neil’s neck kisses/fetish kinda tells me he likes it so maybe this isn’t concrete evidence particularly but i’m still including it because andrew’s a switch, idc what anyone says, 

four) i lost my train of thought but i ran out of reasons--on the spot, anyway--so i might come back to this if i do but just to make it clear:

andrew minyard is a switch. (it just takes time, like a lot, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily impossible/never gonna happen.)

neil josten is a switch. (he respects andrew’s boundaries and doesn’t push him, he’s fine being guided, but it doesn’t mean he can’t take the initiative himself (and i forgot to mention it but re: when he asked andrew if he doesn’t like to be touched in general or if it’s a trust thing + many more times, before & after their first kiss, i believe, my brain is just empty rn) and i just think that deserves more recognition)

so !! 

(this post is a mess, (i always am but today’s just worse) i know, and i’m sorry)

in conclusion,

let neil top andrew !! they deserve it !! 

(not that vice versa is bad, but this isn’t either, yk, just saying. also, i hope this isn’t too late to say in the post, but i do not, i repeat, i do not, intend to pressure any content creator--fic writers, fan artists, editors, &c--to create content this particular way only,,,,okay,,,gotta make that unequivocally clear. and i’m not saying andrew topping neil is bad or overrated, because i know that when it comes to them, sex in general would take some time, especially neil topping andrew, but i think they deserve that freedom, yk. again,,,,this is just my personal opinion. no insisting statements here, just wish for freedom to speak my mind, that is all. also feel free to interact if you agree/disagree or both !! i’m willing to hear anyone’s comments or thoughts or whatever !! i hope i’m talking to a brick wall here ahah) 

bro brain poop rn

anyway

tl/dr: bro let neil top (not necessarily on top, but that works, too--either/or--or both, if y’all dare ;DD (kill me) (but like srsly) (let neil top) (plz) :))

(also somewhat off topic but might anyone have access to some fics in which consist of neil first getting andrew off ??? i randomly remember it from ms. sakavic’s extra content page and i would like to see what the fandom offers, if y’all don’t mind)

im so mean and insistent on my aftg-related opinions now that i think about it

whoops

[mymindsmadness]

Why I hate seeing the Uchiha logo on Sakura’s shirt/why I don’t ship SasuSaku

DISCLAIMER: I’m not shitting on anyone’s ship. I get it. You love them. You do you booboo, I’m just here to speak my truth. Don’t come at me with comments shitting all over the things I love. You have your opinion and I have mine.

If you are a SasuSaku shipper and you read past this point, you have no one but yourself to blame for your anger!

I’m probably gonna rant a bit, so I’ll start with the bottom line. Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship is one of the most toxic relationships I’ve ever seen.

Unrelated (but kind of related): All the female character are written pretty shitty, and that adds to this whole mess.

Part I [Young Love]:

Okay. I get it. She’s all for Sasuke and he doesn’t give her the time of day. We love a queen that gets hers in the end. The problem is that Sakura’s core personality traits are based off of her obsession. Her wants. Her flaws. Her essence as a [non] person is completely defined by Sasuke’s character. This is even verified when Kakashi asks them about themselves and Sakura literally gives [giggles] Sasuke for every answer.

When they’re tested with the bells, Sakura shows no ninja prowess whatsoever. She shows no skill beyond hiding in a bush. The only time we really see her moving/thinking/talking, is when it’s to ‘rescue Sasuke’. She even refers to him as ‘my Sasuke’ a dozen or so times. Seriously, it could be a drinking game.

During the chunin exams, we see a little more of a backbone from Sakura. But even as she struggles to make herself be seen, she really only wants to be seen by – you guessed it – Sasuke.

When Sasuke gets extra angsty [YOLO style], and tries to leave the village, Sakura tries to go with him. Think about that. Sakura tries to leave the village. Her home. Her family. Her friends. Everything! She does this because the idea of becoming a criminal is more appealing than being left behind by Sasuke.

But you know what? I’ll excuse it. She’s only thirteen at this point. She’s entitled to make stupid choices in the name of puppy love. We’ve all been there, man. And sure, at thirteen all love feels like true love. You know what girl? I forgive you.

Part II [Personal Growth]

At this point, Sakura’s whole character arch is defined by the people that leave her. And I could forgive this – almost. Enter Tsunade. I love Tsunade. I worship Tsunade. She is probably the one female character in the whole show that is as well integrated as the men [if we ignore the fact that her whole backstory is revolved around them]. When Sakura started training with Tsunade, I knew there was about to be an Eye of the Tiger montage. Sure enough, my girl comes through. Come Shippuden, Sakura is kicking ass and taking names [literally]. Better yet, she found her niche in medical ninjutsu [insert joke about how females always play the healers]. She’s got chakra for days and the control of a saint. Piss my girl off? You ‘bout to lose a lung.

Yes, Sakura’s still insecure when it comes to her place among the others, but can we blame her? She had demi-gods as teammates. But it’s different now. Sakura knows she’s a badass. She’s fully aware that her control and strength are something to be proud of. She uses those years of neglect and training to help her comrades!... and chase down Sasuke.

By the beginning of the 4th war, this bitch has lost her damn mind. At this point, Sakura and Naruto have been searching for Sasuke for the last 3 [or so] years. All this time, Sakura is under the impression that she’s in love with him. The times from when Sasuke left to the end of the war, are some of the most defining years in a person’s life. At 13-17 is when a person’s personality really starts to develop and lay out the foundation for the adult they will be.

Part III [All’s Fair]

Now, I’m not saying that Sakura didn’t hold a certain level of love for Sasuke her whole life. It’s very possible. However, there was no way it could be a romantic love. Think about who you were when you were twelve. Now think about who you were at seventeen. Did anything change in that time?

Sakura could not have been in love with Sasuke because she didn’t know who he was. They hadn’t been in contact in years! She had the memory of who he had been on a pedestal, and without him around to alter that image, it became more and more idyllic. By the time Sasuke returned [at the end of the war], Sakura was still in love with the idea of him.

She had put their relationship and romance in the forefront of her mind all of her life. It had been her driving force and defining mindset. When this crazy ass bitch [ily gurl] activated her seal and literally jumped on a pike for her boys, it was the most badass thing she’d ever done. And when she was done with that? She got upset that Sasuke hadn’t noticed/cared. She was fighting for her friends, her family, her village, her life… and all that confidence she had gained was brought down by the fact that the boy she thought she loved didn’t notice.

Part IV [In Which Sasuke Cares… Allegedly]

Remember when Sakura finally got Sasuke to notice her? When he overcame his terminal broodiness and admitted that he was touched that she never gave up hope in him? When he kissed her goodbye with the promise of returning and being worth all of her unfounded love and attention?

Oh… right… that never happened.

I mean… he tapped her forehead like Itachi did to him that one time… Same thing I suppose.

Okay, okay… I might be being a little harsh. I’ll concede that it is a genuine act of affection for Sasuke. But… a minor one. Alright, our broody boi doesn’t like PDA… Still, we’re given no indication that they talked about their feelings before this goodbye. That’s backed up by the fact that she asks to go with him – something she would have done before now if they had. Legit, Naruto got more of a goodbye than Sakura did [two dudes, chillin’ in the woods].

To the best of everyone’s knowledge, Sasuke only stayed in Konoha for about a year after the war. Now, depending if you follow the manga or anime, some of that time might have been in jail. My point is, that a year or less was spent in the village after several years of Sakura loving him from a distance.

At this point, she very well might have learned about the older Sasuke. She might have decided that she did still love him [doubtful on a realistic level]. But then he leaves. We’re not sure for how long, but if we look at Boruto, it’s common for him to leave for long periods of time.

Once again, Sakura is left behind with her memories of the man she thinks she loves [because without a functioning adult relationship, there’s no way to be sure].

Part V [Sakura Achieves Her Nightmare Dreams]

Let’s step into Boruto for this next part. We flash forward to all of our beloved characters in their adult years. I know what you’re thinking ‘Oh! I’ve missed so much! They’re all so grown up!’. Hahaha, don’t worry. They’re not at all the same people.

Since the series is based on the children, we’re forced to fill in some of the blanks ourselves. Sakura – the best medic nin in Konoha. The woman whose strength rivals that of her mentor’s. The woman who mastered the Seal of 100. The woman who grew into her own as a character, even if the driving force was a boy - is living her best life as… a housewife? I mean... maybe?

We don’t know this for sure, and a lot of us hope she runs the hospital or something [because we want all good things for our girl], but have you noticed that she doesn’t wear a headband? A ninja one that is. The girl who worked hard to not be left behind’s whole adulthood is… the woman left behind.

Even if it can be argued that she achieved her goal… has she? Yes, she wanted to be Sasuke’s wife and baby mama since waaaaay too young of an age to be thinking about that shit, but like this? We know from the fact that Sakura fainted when Sasuke came home that he’s rarely there. This means that she probably raised their daughter alone. Even now, she can’t just leave because Sasuke’s always away.

If you think I’m taking libraries with filling in the gaps, I refer you to that one time her daughter basically asked if they were really married. And if you think I’m exaggerating Sasuke’s absence, I refer you to that time he almost killed his fucking daughter because he didn’t know what she looked like!

Let that sink in.

Part VI  [In Summation]

Sakura was a girl that grew up with a false ideal of love. She obsessed over a person that didn’t exist and carried that falsehood into her adult life. When presented with everything she thought she had wanted her whole life, Sakura jumped on the chance because it was the logical move. In gaining everything that she thought she wanted, Sakura lost any personal growth that she had gained by the absence of her obsession aka Sasuke.

Sasuke, who had ignored her as a child, tried to kill her as a teen, and barely acknowledged her beyond using her to revive his clan, can’t be bothered to even appreciate her. Even as he leaves again as an adult, he says goodbye to their daughter [again, with an oh-so-affectionate poke], but simply walks away from Sakura.

The truth is that given the way she blushes and faints around him still, Sakura doesn’t know him. She’s still in love with an idea of the man that grew from the boy she had been obsessed with all her life. She wears the Uchiha symbol on her back as a reminder that she did it. She got the guy! True love wins again! I mean… maybe? He’s fucked her at least, so…

There’s a chance that Sasuke loves Sakura. I think he loves her for loving him. At the very least, we know he’s fond of her… I assume.

Sakura was a character that was used to further the plot of a man. Even as an adult, she’s left to sit and pine as the boys go off on their adventures. She’s a woman that’s stuck in a hell of her own creation – even if she loves her daughter and the things that marrying Sasuke has brought her.

There’s ‘getting the guy’ and being trapped in a toxic idealized relationship. How you choose to see this one is up to you.

[kob131]

https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/616806790896680960

Ironwood: Yells, screams, rants extensively, shoots things, breaks things

He never screamed, he never ranted, he broke like one thing (a chess piece) and shoot one guy (who in his mind was trying to stop him from saving people).

Yeah, Ironwood is emotional. He’s a fucking veteran Huntsman fighting a war that he was lied about by the man he trusted and the allies he thought he had. He also kind of just had HIS ONE GOOD ARM FUCKING SCORTCHED AND HIS PARANOIA CONFIRMED. Pretty fucking understandable, you shouldn’t be misrepresenting him.

Fandom: Clearly this man is a rational, logical person who is making his decisions based solely on cold reason. RWBY is being too emotional.

Who the FUCK has argued that James is operating under cold logic? He’s not, of course he’s acting under emotion.

What are you even saying?

RWBYJNR: Lies, cheats, steals, rants about a politician trying to do his best to protect a kingdom from going to shit, and also harassed a kid when they’re lied to

You know, Psyga, it doesn’t help that not only are you ALSO misrepresenting shit (They never cheated, the stealing of one airship pales to the numerous DEATHS that would have been caused, they didn’t rant and ONE PERSON  messed with Oscar while the LEADER RUBY comforted him) but you yourself are guilty of this shit (Lying, cheating and stealing? Gee I wonder who else does that? *cough* RWDE *cough*)

Fandom: Clearly these group of well thinking, mentally scarred teenagers are rational, logical people who are making their decisions solely on reason. Ironwood is being too emotional.

Again, WHO IS SAYING THAT? Also, implying that Ironwood isn’t basically a walking mass of mental scars.

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe grown men in charge of armies should be held to a slightly higher standard than teenagers, rather than the other way around?

Has it occurred to you that they’re both adults, they’re both fucking up and everyone screwed Salem’s pooch here? Honestly the only guy doing good is Ozpin. Yeah, he started this mess but he did some damn good work before Cinderella.

Also no Psyga, I am not supporting your hypocritical ass. “they’re taught to be pinnacles of man kind’’ By the headmasters....which includes IRONWOOD.

I laugh at the idea of James “A few city blocks”   Ironwood trying to do the best to protect his kingdom. Especially when he peaced out and decided to scarper not cos of Salem but due to a chess piece, all while ignoring the fact he had Salem agents on his stupid little rock already to instead focus on shrieking at RWBY a bout loyalty. 

The same James “I’ll promote you all to Huntsmen, I’m the one to tell my subordinates the truth first and I SUFFER FROM PARANOIA AND PROBABLY A HOST OF OTHER MENTAL SCARS” Ironwood right?

I mean you support Yang Tumblingxelian because ‘uwu vagin- I mean PTSD’ so SURELY you support Ironwood RIGHT?

Also, he freaked out about a chess piece because it’s SALEM’S SYMBOL. Its like saying “Oh its not Hitler it’s just his CALLING CARD”. And no shit James is calling out Team RWBY, he trusted them and they lied to his face. You know, the same position Team RWBY was in with Ozpin.

Plus Ironwood himself lies and steal in regards to supplies from Mantle and rants too, except unlike RWBY he doesn’t have nearly as good of an excuse save for the fact he’s surrounded himself with enablers and refuses to accept or seek out help. 

Amity? Yes.

Supplies? Where? Robyn says they should be going to Mantle, that doesn’t mean they’re Mantle supplies. Show me where it was shown, said or explained he TOOK the supplies.

Also, what enablers? People who put their trust in him? That’s like saying Team RWBY were enablers for Ozpin: it’s the Ace Ops and Winter’s fault for not looking out for their leader, just as it was James’ issue for not looking out for Ozpin.

Like seriously, nothing is ever done to show RWBY as unstable or irrational, at best they are uncertain which is frank;y better than Ironwood or Opzin’s “I know best” attitude because it means they are open to changing rather than breaking the moment they run into a problem their methods can’t solve. 

Changing, like going from opposing lying to lying themselves right AFTER knowing how bad of an idea that is.

This is the fucking Yang/Adam situation all over again, removing fault and agency just because you don’t like the other side.

We also literally see their rationales, they need to get he lamp to Atlas before either Salem’s agents find them or it potentially lures Grimm in. They make a good plan that only doesn’t work out cos the local general decided t bust out a super mech and prance around screaming and they still hung around long enough to help solve the problem that idiot created. 

Strange that you don’t their talk of telling the truth....

When it comes to Mantle their rationales for why its awful and Ironwood’s decisions are wrong are explained both morally and in terms of practicality, Ironwood sometimes listened but usually ignored them cos he’s an arrogant ass. 

Or, you know, he’s been lied to numerous times, he’s in immense physical pain right now, his mental issues are being played on and he’s in a rushed, fucked if you do fucked if you don’t situation.

You know, WHAT THE SHOW FUCKING SHOWS.

On one side is a pack of teenagers dragged into a lot of nightmarish shit they were in no way ready to deal with, who are trying to work together and find a way to save the world. They do this despite being horribly traumatized, physically dismembered in two cases, having to fight off their abusers (to the death in one case), all the while admitting they’re in over their head, they’ve made mistakes, and trying to fix them and generally improve things.

The other side is a military general blatantly abusing his political power to deprive a city of critical resources, leaving them exposed to man eating monsters, declaring martial law to stop the rest of the government from stopping him from outright abandoning the people of that city (and the rest of the planet) to those monsters, ordering the cold-blooded murderer of an elderly woman to steal her magical powers, ordering the arrest of a group of teenagers and one older man because SOME OF THEM vocally disagreed with these actions, then shot a teenage boy for politely disagreeing with him, with the intent being that the boy would die from either the bullet of the long fall that followed. He does all this while insisting he’s being logical, that he’s making the hard choices on everyone elses behalf, and that he is always right. While hallucinating, ranting and screaming about disloyalty, all of which because he failed once (And that’s ignoring how he backstabbed several supposed friends before that traumatizing incident.)

A. Ironwood is also dragged into this by the same metric.

B. James is ALSO in over his head. Everyone not named ‘Ozpin’ is and Ozpin BARELY qualifies.

C. And James is being abused and used too!

D. ‘physically dismembered in two cases’ One and *taps Ironwood’s metal arm*

E. To try and help EVERYONE he’s ‘depriving resources’ because shit ain;t infinite.

F. Aas opposed to the genocidal, ancient witch CONTROLLING the man eating monsters?

G. And the other option? Have everyone DIE in his eyes.

H. Cold blooded murder...that she agreed to of her own volition....

I. You misspelled ALL as SOME. As in, ALL of the protags disagreed with him.

J. ANd you know, trying to stop him.

K. You know, like literally everyone else

M. He never hallucinated, ranted or screamed

James Ironwood is a coward and a traitor to the Kingdom of Atlas. On top of that, he is an entitled little shit that neglected his responsibilities to the civilians of the Kingdom, and then was so fucking arrogant that he was actually OFFENDED that people were angry with him for not doing his job. Quite a lot of that can be blamed on the culture of the Atlas military, of the demands of blind loyalty and yes-men creating an echo chamber without him even noticing. But in the end, he made the decisions. He decided the people of Mantle are an expendable resource, months or even years before Cinder broke into his office. He decided to order the murder of an elderly woman, to overthrow his government, to arrest anyone that dared to disagree with him, and to personally shoot a boy in cold blood. 

You want to know the twisted part? I think those of us that admit Ironwood is in the wrong actually respect him more. We can see how he came to this point, the cultural indoctrination, the dangers of military culture, the PTSD he’s clearly suffered since Beacon... We can feel sympathy for a fallen hero. Those who support him continue to insist that he’s in his right mind, that all his decisions, from volume two onwards, have all been completely logical... And what kind of person would that make him?

Oh fuck you with that “Because I disagree that makes me better bullshit.”

You didn’t portray a fallen hero, you portrayed a flatter version of Adam, denying Ironwood’s reasons, glorifying Team RWBY and painted it black and white.

And before anyone claims I am supporting Team RWBY:

Actually look up my opinions of them on my blog. Or hell, this single post. I think both parties are at fault for the situation here for their own flaws. ANd I feel sad for both them.

The conflict in the fandom, however?

[une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir]

"JoNeRiCe WiLL be bEttEr In the BoOkS, yOu'LL wAnT tO rEaD."

No, I fucking won't.

I despise Daenerys on both mediums, but I have a special loathing for her in the books because she manages to be even more awful there. I hate her story and I hate her, everything repulses me. I barely tolerate her as is while she is ruining everything in a place with people I don't care about, how would I like to read when she starts ruining everything in a place with people I care about.

You know what, I'm so angry about that "accusation", I will be absolutely unbearable about it. I like a good tyrant and a good villain (hey, I like Cersei). I like good Nazi / Bolshevik candy, because they're so absolute monsters in a very human way. But you knows what? Daenerys isn't even a good Hitler / Stalin stand-in, because she is incompetent and stupid, and they were neither (could make a whole presentation about it). She isn't even a good villain. She is just some incompetent bitch with the medieval equivalent of nukes.

I am was indifferent to Jon in the show, but I like him in the books. He's a good boy. He doesn't deserve what happens to him in the endgame, he doesn't deserve to became "evil" or "fucked up" when he died for it to work (some theories claim he'll be literally character assassinated then) either. Why would I want to read him in the same continent as that abomination described above, let alone interacting, let alone interacting in that disgusting way?

As for Jonerice itself, its awful. I could rant about how they have nothing in common and not in a "opposite attracts" kind of way, but you know what I'll be succinct.

A) It's incest and it's not "good" incest, because it's accidental incest. "Good" incest is like when they know they are related and fight against it, or actually embrace it despite it and its so fucked up (Jaime and Cersei). What is the point of accidental incest? There is no fucking point to it. They meet as strangers an it's not their fault. After knowing, either say they are feeling something which isn't their fault. There is nothing compelling about this.

B) The Targs attract Targs is a stupid idea too. So no matter how you raise someone, the genetic makeup is what really matters. They cannot escape it? Don't come at me with JonSa, that is fake incest. They are cousins and social construct. So his disgusting targ gene manifests itself without him realising and these genes are tricked by fake sister genes? My arse. It's called dramatic irony.

C) The show made Jonerice horrendously abusive. Why would I want to read bout an abusive relationship? Why would this entertain me instead of repulse me? I don't even know how can anyone ship hem after season 7, let alone season 8. What kind of fucked up person... Yeah I'll stop there because I'll just hurt someone if I continue.

So in the books, it's either going to be A) romanticised (who cares), B) destined stupidity (gene attraction), C) abusive. Hell could be all three. Why would I want to read about any of this. I don't care if it's better written, the relationship is an abomination in the first place, furthermore between a bitch I hate and a good boy who as to be character assassinated And the gets punished severity for it.

THERE IS NOT A THING WHICH IS REDEEMABLE ABOUT IT. NOTHING.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! and Quack Pack! Review/Thoughts

Hello errybody, I’ve decided being a huge fan of this verison of Ducktales, and someone who likes reviewing stuff and going on and on at length about it, to review this season’s episodes as they come out, both to get me writing critically again, and to get more non chat content on the old tumblr.  First, while you likely don’t care a little about my history with the ducks; While I , sadly though i’m trying to correct it, haven’t read MUCH of Carl Barks classic donald duck comics nor that of his avid fanboy and clear sucessor in quality and talent Don Rosa, I did read Rosa’s utter classic “The LIfe and Times of Scrooge” mcduck in high school and the story stuck with me sense. I’ll go into Life and Times another day hopefully, but naturally when the reboot was announced I was excited.. a great voice cast, and donald,my boy, as part of the main cast. The show has been a joy to behold and with steven universe having taken a bow JUST a week ago and Covid ravaging our lives, it coudln’t of picked a better time. But do these episodes keep the momentum from an utterly marvelous second half of season 2? The short answer is “Fuck yes” but the long answer is under the cut. 

Challenge of the Junior Senior Woodchucks! While “Challenge of the x” is a popular snowclone title I can’t help but think of superfriends with the title... or now I thought of it shortly before writing this, hearing “Meanwhile at the legion of doom” when they cut to fowl.. or rather “Meanwhile at FOWL” but in that same announcers voice. I”m a dork, that should be obvious But I was hyped for both episodes: Violet is a faviorite mine, I ship her with huey so them interacting for the first time was wonderful to me, and.. okay the subplot didn’t hook me and we’ll get to that, but we had her dads and one of my other faviorites (I have several, get used to it now) , Lena , at least putting in an apperance. And honestly.. the main plot lived up to it. As I said I didn’t really dig the sub plot, more on that in a second, but I REALLY enjoyed this. From the begining Huey was my faviorite of the three triplets, easily, as it’s fairly easy for me a grown ass dork with anxiety, self confidence, anger issues, depression and constant self doubt, to relate to a little duck with the same and I’ve loved Danny Pudi since community, so naturally I was excited for his turn for a spotlight season.  And again the show didn’t disapoint.. Huey has a rather decent arc with some unexpected turns: First unexpectly, the trailer lied as while Huey and Violet look ultra competiive, theirs no real confilct..s econds after that bit the two shake hands (after a good 20 seconds of adorable and hilarous failure to do so that fits both like a glove.), and try to be good sports. The problem is instead internal: As Huey muses to his siblings (Webby very much included, getting her own great bit of encouraging Huey while also assuring Violet she’s also great he just needs it more, which is accurate) “If i’m not hte best junior woodchuck who am I”. Like Louie last season towards the begining (when he didn’t have a clear purpose in their adventuring dynamic) and towards the end (When della nearly took it away from him), he’s nothing without his sense of who he is. It’s easily why he’s the one to comfort him when his other siblings are either torn between two friends or you know, Dewey. Louie knows what it’s like to be rattled about who you are.  And WHY Violet outclassing him rattles him so much is intreating and to me makes a ton of sense: Huey’s identity to me is so wrapped in his intellegence and woodchuckery because , besides being oldest, it’s what he HAS on his brothers. When you think about it, Louie is the charmer, Dewey is charsmaticin his own way and loves hogging attention not to mention being fairly athletic... to stand out Huey NEEDS his brains to be the one with facts, and plans and his book.  He may not be the first on the front lines but he’s the first to solve a trap or figure out where they are if scrooge or his mom hasn’t already.. and if someone’s markdely better at that, and worse in an activity that’s wholy his own and now it’s been revealed impmortant to his mom.. just who is he.  The poor kid simply breaks down at the thought and takes bigger and stupider risks, which is sad to watch.. and thankfully lightned by his delightful mental brekadown in the form of the stephen root voiced JW Guidebook, a talking hallucination who gives huey his knowledge and edge back in the contest.. but it’s STILL not enough. And that’s when the other intresting bit comes into play: Huey.. has a moment of weakness. Despite the guidebook saying to always save your fellow woodchucks when violet gets stuck slipping in a tree.. he does nothing and leaves, despite JW  , whose now become his concious, begging him not to. It’s a sad, well done moment, and one that makes the story richer. Naturally violet escapes and when huey falls off the lava bridge to the finish line in a nother moment of desperation, and after a returning JW burns because apparently ducks and sabrewings are fireproof but imaginary manfestations of knowledge arne’t, she saves him... and is a good friend and woodchuck in NOT chastizing huey for his moment of weakness earlier, but comforting him, revealing she’s tried three times before and adding some more depth to her character: Despite her awkardness with people, she’s a kind, caring person, and gives Huey the lesson he needs: faliure, and the ocasional bout of moral weakness, is okay.. what matters is you learn from it, dust yourself off and keep going. Huey bows out due to this, as while violet is more than willing to let him pass with her, Huey knows he hasn’t earned it, yet, but he can keep trying and that this is her moment, not his. And in that, I feel learns that he dosen’t NEED recognition to be his best self.. he just needs to be a good person and a good woodchuk. I’ts a damn fine story and despite not being the intended premire, works as a great one.. mostly. And also yes I ship them.. as much as two ten-elven year olds can be, but they are adorable and geninley have a good repore.  And before I get to the dispaointing subplot, i’d be an idiot if I left out Violet’s family: We meet her dads, hilariously wearing shirts that say i’m with dad which is also really fucking adorable, and have our first onscreen conformation that Lena’s now her adopted sister, with Lena loudly screaming it in one of the best lines of the episode.. it’s clever to me: it over the top makes sure that we know yes, these men are gay and her parents.. but in a needed way given disney’s tendncy to dance around that or loudly proclaim a minor character no one cares about is gay in a way they can edit out. It’s a great step forward for the channel and the company and good on the crew for going ahead with it and good on disney for not beign dumb about it, nor, like again they have a bad habit of doing, loudly shouting about it to the media. Excellent work. 

Now i’m done rambling about Huey’s psyche and america’s new faviorite gay couple, I gotta get the suplot out of the way: while the whiporwill is freaking adorable as is dewey’s bond with it, otherwise this plot is.. really damn weak: it has some good jokes (Louie’s blunt no when Scrooge asks if hte family wants to fight a bear, Webby’s disapointment when she finds their not walking in the path of literal giants, Donald’s runner with the spy drone mosquito (and Della’s instiance to just let it suck his blood), and Della proving she has the family temper with her own donald brand angry dance) it’s just.. not enoguh. It feels like it’s an oblogiatory plto for the family and while it does set up the season’s overaching plot with a strong character, as it’s intresting learning that Scrooge had an idol at adventuring and thus is following a legacy himself, overall the subplot itself is just there and distracting from the much more intresting A-Story. That being said it was at least sorta worth it for the ending bit where huey and violet suprisingly find launchpad at the end of the trial in a cave.. as do the duckfamily, both groups crying out “Launchpad?!” with launchpad giving out a hilarious “that’s me, i’m launchpad” and while the setup for it was weak, the idea of the family going around the globe to find missing mysteries wile fighting fowl over them is a great concept. Overall a really damn strong start to the season with a weak b-plot and i’m gald even if this isn’t what htey planned to start with it’s what they went with.  Quack Pack: Quack Pack.. is one of disney’s secret shames.. I mean it’s not SO secret as it’s on D+ while this show’s predecessor wonder over yonder and superhero fantasy classic american dragon jake long are not for reasons I sitll don’t get, but that’s a rant for another day. It clashed badly with ducktlaes,was meiocre most of the time (It helps the two episodes I did watch were donald focused as he, a nicely redeisgned dasiy, and their co-worker kent were the highlights), with the boys somehow being more obnoxious than they were at their worst in the original ducktales.  Now that’s off my chest the episode itself.. is really damn good and a nice take on sitcom parody, with the family getting ready for a photo. Dewey’s “since the internet” line in paticular killed because, having watched boths ome of the best sitcoms (roseanne, designing women) and some of the absolute worst (My wife and kids, last man standing,home imporvment etc), most modern ones i’ve seen, even the good ones, have kids written this terrible way. Otherwise though it was highly enjoyable and having Jaleel “Urkel/Sonic the Hedgehog” white here to take the piss out of his former genre as Gene (and doing such a great job I really want to see Gene back next season), is the icing. That and Huey going half insane trying to figure out what’s going on, as well as the unsettling reveal of the studio audience.  Really the ep is a laugh fest, as well as the glorious arrival of goofy who to my relief, wasn’t a hallucination.. which itself is a great gag as is the offscreen internal thought of “okay so now htey ahve to take goofy with them on this deadly adventure all the way back to the states?”. The using of the adults old designs, as well as having dewey do the triplets dance and wear an outfit similar to theirs from “Mr Duck Steps Out” (Which I saw earlier this year and other than daisy’s horrifying early voice it wasn’t half bad). It’s just hard to go into and throughly enjoyable. But analysis right the real meat is in my boy donald: Going into the ep I genuinely expected Dewey to be the obvious source of the wish: while knowing gene was involved meant it was easy to see it was his fault HOW was a good question.. but having Donald do so and throughly enjoyable, and naturally gives us two great gags int he rwo: Donald’s VERY donald response “I wish for that 6 times a day! how wsas I supposed to know I was rubbing up against a magical lamp” and everyone spouting off their catcphrases, all either actual ones, basically something she does all the time turned into one (della) or poor beakly who gets “i’m not a spy” for some reason an dis cross about it. But the fact Donald not only figured it out quickly but wants to stay.. is perfectly in character. Donald in general, and especailly here, dosen’t WANT to be an adventuer anymore: he does it for his family, but he’d probably perfer the tgif lifestyle where problems are minor and solved with heartwarming lessons.. not full of lingering restiments, damage you caused, or loosing a decade of your sisters life and having to struggle to care for her kids. The rest of the familys looks when he gives his reasoning say it all: they really get why he wants this.. but Huey, who nicely got to be the one to break the sitcom news to them on top of everything else, makes an even better one: their lives are who they are.. this.. isn’t real. LIkea tgif sitcom it’s a plastic imitation of life that’s nothing like it: it’s comforting sure since hte real world is fucking complicated and miserable at times.. but hiding from it dosen’t fix things.  And while Donald, of course angrily denies this while his family ends upf ighting the studio audience, it’s Goofy, loveable guest star and everyone’s other faviorite dad, who gets his friend to see the truth: eveyr family has thieir own normal. He and max are  widower and his kid. Just a family of three (I”m counting PJ since , by his tene years at least, Peg is missing, though Iw ish she’d come back as her and goofy would be cute and she deserves better than Pete but whatever, and his dad is an emotionally abusive douchehead). But their happy, they make memories even if goofy like donald can’t walk five feet without the universe, and that’s what counts> it’s a touching sentiment and i’m happy Donald now has a friend whose also a parent and probably made similar sacrifices, and some Donald hasn’t had to just yet and probably won’t now dellas back, but made it through. So donald helps his family fight the  humanoids, take sa picture and it’s just a genuinely sweet ending... a great episode with a great concept that also opens the door for the return of the world’s other best dad more times. And again I want to see him smooch pete’s ex wife. This is the hill I will die on apaprently.. and with that I leave you. it was a good start a fun thing ot dive into and I hope for more.. oh and before I go, while i’m not a GIANT max and roxanne shipper, Idon’t dislike the ship I just don’t hav ea large attachment, it was absolutley WONDERFUL to see that they went to prom together. Okay i’m done, until next week, courage and stay safe.