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asthroophile · 2 months ago

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curtain call of the heart

v. welcome to our new world, sweetheart

pairing brant x fem!reader, modern high school au mutual pinning, childhood friends to lovers, might be ooc

wc: 3.781

summary: being friends with the theater club president means you have to accept the fact that you'll get dragged into acting in plays.

(n); guys, im literally kicking my feet while writing this and listening to Always by daniel caesar. i need a man like this irl frr.

previous next...

it had been nearly two months of being dragged into the theater club—two months of staying back after school, watching rehearsals, getting roped into helping with set designs, and somehow always ending up next to him.

brant.

the club president. the reason you were stuck here every afternoon, even though you never officially signed up.

they had just wrapped up their rehearsal for the day, and as expected, brant plopped down beside you on the worn-out stage steps, stretching his legs like he owned the place. which—technically—he did.

you, who had been silently scrolling on your phone, suddenly spoke, “how do you register for a club?”

brant barely reacted, answering without much thought. “usually, you write a handwritten letter about your identity and why you want to join. after that, you get called for an interview.”

you blinked, “interview?”

he nodded, his gaze flicking to you, curiosity creeping into his expression. “yeah.”

you clenched your fists, inhaling deeply. then, as if making a life-altering decision, you shot up from your seat.

"okay, wait here."

without another word, you bolted towards your bag in the corner—well, technically a pile of bags stacked haphazardly in the backstage area.

brant watched you go, one eyebrow raised.

the question had been random enough, but now? the way you rushed off like you were on a mission?

his smirk grew. oh, this was going to be interesting.

brant watched as you dug through the pile of bags, muttering under your breath before finally pulling out a crumpled notebook and a pen. you marched right back, plopped down beside him, and flipped to a clean page.

"just identity and a reason to join, right?" you asked, pen already poised to write.

brant, still watching you with growing amusement, gave a slow nod.

“what’s all this?” his voice carried a teasing lilt. “wow finally found your thing? thinking of actually joining a club?”

you didn’t look up, just tapped the pen against the page. “maybe.”

his smirk widened. “maybe? that’s a strong word coming from you.”

you ignored him, focusing on writing down your name and details, keeping the paper angled away from his view. brant, being brant, leaned in slightly, tilting his head to peek at what you were writing.

"hey," you huffed, shifting the notebook away from his gaze. "back off."

brant blinked, clearly not expecting that. “what, is it top secret or something?”

“something like that.”

his eyes narrowed in mock suspicion. “...you’re writing about me, aren’t you?”

you rolled you eyes. “yes, brant. i’m writing a whole essay about how annoying you are.”

“i knew it,” he gasped dramatically, hand over his heart. “and yet, you still sit beside me every day.”

you didn’t dignify that with a response. instead, you finished writing, tore the paper out, and, without a word, handed it to him.

brant took it, his grin still in place—until he noticed half of it was folded, concealing the reason for joining. he flicked his gaze to you, then back to the paper.

“…you do realize you missed a part, right?” he pointed out, lifting an eyebrow.

“i didn’t miss anything,” you said simply, crossing your arms.

brant narrowed his eyes at you, then at the folded section. he could've pushed, teased you until you gave in, but something in the way you guarded it made him hold back.

“…fine,” he said, flicking the paper lightly. “guess i’ll just have to wait and see, huh?”

you only hummed in response, taking the paper back and tucking it safely into your notebook.

“still feels unfair, though,” he mused. “you get to keep secrets, but i don’t?”

you smirked, “welcome to my world.”

the next day, you didn’t show up at practice.

brant noticed, of course. he didn’t ask, didn’t text, didn’t even let it show on his face when the others threw questions around about where you were. he knew better than to push. if you wanted space, he’d give it.

but even knowing that, he still glanced at the door a few times too many, half-expecting you to walk in late like you usually did.

you didn’t.

meanwhile, you spent your time at the library, waiting. you weren't hiding—at least, that’s what you told yourself. you just needed the right moment, when the club wasn’t as full, when there weren’t too many eyes watching.

when the time finally came, you made your way to the theater club room.

by then, most of the members had already left, only a few lingering around as they packed their things. and there he was—brant, sitting on the stage steps, casually scrolling through his phone like he hadn’t spent the past hour throwing himself into rehearsals.

you stopped at the door, fingers tightening around the folded paper in your hands. not enough to crumple it beyond recognition, but enough to feel the edges dig into your skin.

were you really doing this?

your grip loosened.

your feet moved.

you walked toward him, your steps quieter than usual, the paper subtly tucked behind your arm as if it was just another notebook you happened to be carrying. brant, still absorbed in whatever was on his screen, didn’t notice you immediately.

for a second, you considered turning around. maybe you should wait another day—

but then brant looked up.

his eyes met yours, and something flickered across his expression. surprise, curiosity—maybe even the smallest hint of amusement.

you swallowed, forcing yourself to keep walking.

"hey,” brant greeted, like you hadn’t skipped out on practice. like he hadn’t been waiting. "you’re alive."

you rolled your eyes, stopping in front of him. "obviously."

his gaze drifted to your hands, noticing the way you held something close to your chest. "what’s that?"

your grip tightened again.

"nothing."

brant tilted his head, clearly unconvinced. but instead of prying, he just leaned back slightly, resting his arms on his knees.

"fair enough," he said easily.

you weren't sure if that made this easier or harder.

you grabbed the nearest chair and dragged it toward him, the legs scraping softly against the floor. you sat down in front of him, careful to keep your posture neutral, your hands steady. or at least, you tried.

brant, ever observant, caught onto the tension in your shoulders. his phone clicked off, the glow of the screen disappearing as he set it aside without hesitation. his attention was on you now, fully and completely.

"you wanna talk?" his voice was casual, but his gaze wasn’t. he was studying you, taking in the way you’re gripping that paper like it held something important—something you weren't ready to share yet.

you exhaled slowly, trying not to let your nerves show. you met his gaze for a second before flicking your eyes away, staring somewhere over his shoulder.

"kind of," you admitted, fingers subtly shifting against the edges of the paper. "but—uh, not right now. just… later."

brant raised a brow, the corner of his lips twitching. "later, huh? alright."

he didn’t press. didn’t tease. just leaned back a little, watching you like he was waiting for whatever you'd say next.

you tightened your grip on the paper for a second before exhaling through your nose. no use overthinking it. you had already dragged yourself here, already sat down in front of him. if you hesitated any longer, you'd just make yourself look stupid.

without another word, you extended the folded paper toward him. direct. no build up. no unnecessary pauses. just handing it over like it was nothing—like your heart wasn’t practically trying to escape your ribcage.

brant tilted his head, curiosity flickering in his eyes as he took it from your hands. his fingers brushed against yours, warm and steady, before he leaned back in his seat.

he didn’t open it immediately. just twirled it between his fingers, glancing up at you with that look. the one that said he knew something was up.

“what’s this?” he asked, voice light, but his gaze sharp.

you shrugged, trying not to give yourself away. "just read it."

he didn’t need to be told twice.

brant unfolded the paper with practiced ease, his gaze dropping to the neatly written words. you held your breath, forcing yourself to stay still, to not fidget under his scrutiny. you watched as his eyes moved over the text, slow and deliberate, not rushing through it like he usually did with scripts. he read each line with care—too much care, if you're being honest.

his expression was unreadable at first, just a neutral focus. but then, the moment his gaze flicked toward the section you had so carefully tried to keep out of his sight—the reason—his lips twitched.

and then, just as you feared, that infuriating grin spread across his face.

brant leaned back in his chair, tilting his head at you like you're the most amusing thing he’d seen all week. “you joined my club?” he asked, voice filled with something between delight and teasing disbelief. “am i dreaming?”

you crossed your arms, fixing him with a deadpan stare. “clearly not, since you’re still annoying.”

but your attempt at nonchalance didn’t deter him. if anything, his grin only widened. he tapped the paper with his finger, then looked at you like he was trying to memorize your expression.

“this is real, right? you didn’t, like, lose a bet or get possessed or—”

“brant.” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

“not that big of a deal?” he gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest like you had just wounded him. “y/n, you avoided this club for almost two months. two whole months of dodging, resisting, barely even stepping on the stage unless i dragged you there.”

he sat up, the teasing glint in his eyes softening just slightly. “and now you’re here. joining.”

you glanced away, the weight of his words making your heart do something stupid. “i never said i was avoiding it.”

brant snorted. “you didn’t have to.”

you let out a small, exasperated sigh, but before you could snap back, he leaned in, resting his arms on his knees as he looked at you—really looked at you.

“be honest,” he said, quieter this time. “what made you change your mind?”

you hesitated, gripping the hem of your sleeve. you had expected him to tease you, maybe even laugh, but this… this was different. his gaze was warm, open, patient.

you shifted in your seat, gripping the hem of your sleeve a little tighter. his eyes were too expectant, too knowing, and you didn’t like where this conversation was going.

you exhaled sharply, “can’t i just get accepted already?” you muttered, averting your gaze. “or, uh, have that interview thing you mentioned yesterday? do i really have to explain what changed my mind?”

brant blinked, then let out a soft laugh—quiet, amused, and way too pleased with himself. he leaned back, tapping the paper against his knee, eyes never leaving you. “so you are avoiding the question.”

you clicked your tongue, turning your face away. “i didn’t say that.”

“you didn’t have to.” he grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

you clenched your jaw. maybe this was a mistake. maybe you should’ve just handed the application to another member and let them deal with it. but no—you had to do this yourself.

brant hummed, tilting his head at you, like he was considering his next move. “well, you’re right about one thing. i should be professional about this.” he straightened up, setting the paper aside and clasping his hands together. “y/n, for your official interview, please tell me—”

your head snapped toward him. “wait, you’re actually—”

he ignored you. “why do you want to join the theater club?”

you groaned, dragging your hands down your face before shooting him a glare. this was exactly what you wanted to avoid.

"i already wrote it on the paper," you huffed. "and you already read it."

brant pressed a hand to his chest, feigning shock. "wow, denying me a verbal answer? after all our years of friendship? my heart, y/n. it hurts."

you rolled your eyes. "then maybe stop acting like an idiot and process the fact that i actually signed up."

he grinned, leaning forward slightly. "oh, i processed it. i'm just enjoying this moment. you, willingly joining my club? this is history in the making."

you narrowed your eyes at him. "you're enjoying this too much."

brant didn't even try to deny it.

you pinched the bridge of your nose, exhaling sharply like you had just committed the biggest mistake of your life. "i should’ve just joined another club…" you muttered under your breath.

brant, being brant, only smirked wider. “too late for regrets, sweetheart. the moment your name’s on that paper, you’re one of us.”

that’s it. you weren't about to let him have this much fun at your expense. without thinking twice, you lunged forward, snatching the paper from his grasp.

brant blinked, momentarily caught off guard, but before you could bolt, he moved—quick, like he knew you'd try this.

"oh, no, no, no," he laughed, grabbing your wrist before you could escape. "you cannot take it back now."

"watch me," you gritted, twisting in his hold.

"sweetheart," he tsked, tightening his grip just enough to keep you from slipping away, "i’m the president. you think i’ll just let my star recruit escape?"

your eye twitched. "i hate you."

he chuckled, effortlessly prying the paper from your fingers. "and yet," he mused, waving it teasingly in front of you, "here you are, joining my club willingly."

shit. this was already a disaster.

brant let out a hum, twirling the paper between his fingers before setting it down beside him. “alright, alright. i’ll stop messing with you—for now.”

you crossed your arms, still glaring. “you better.”

he leaned back in his chair, suddenly looking way too official. “so, let’s talk about your interview.”

you nearly groaned on the spot. “do we really have to?”

brant shrugged. “of course. it’s club protocol, you know.”

“you made that up,” you deadpanned.

brant placed a hand over his chest, feigning offense. “sweetheart, do you think i’d lie to you?”

“yes.”

he grinned but continued, “still, i need to ask a few things. why do you want to join?”

you stiffened, gripping the hem of your shirt. “i already wrote it on the paper,” you muttered.

“yeah, but i want to hear it from you.”

you pressed your lips together, avoiding his gaze. this was exactly why you didn’t want to go through this whole stupid interview.

brant waited, watching you closely, his usual teasing demeanor softening ever so slightly. “hey,” he said, quieter this time, “i’m not forcing you or anything. if you’re not sure, you don’t have to do this.”

you frowned, that was the thing—you’re sure. maybe not about everything, but… this?

you inhaled sharply before speaking, your voice steady, but just barely. “…i want to try.”

brant blinked, something flickering in his expression before he smiled, warm and sincere. “then that’s more than enough."

for once, you didn’t have a snarky reply.

brant stretched his arms, his teasing smirk returning. "alright, let’s make it official then. welcome to the theater club, sweetheart."

you squinted at him, "that’s it?"

he shrugged, "that’s it."

"you just said i needed an interview—"

"and you passed," he winked. "i just needed to hear you say you wanted to be here."

you exhaled through your nose, dragging a hand down your face. "i knew you made that up."

brant leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "maybe, but you didn’t run away. that counts for something."

you rolled your eyes, but there was no real bite behind it. "whatever."

he grinned. "so, since you’re officially part of the club now, do you wanna start helping with the next production? or should i put you on script duty first?"

you shot him a glare. "you’re making me regret this already."

brant laughed, standing up and offering his hand. "too late to back out now."

you didn’t take it. instead, you stood on your own, staring at him for a second before sighing. "fine. but if i mess up, that’s on you."

he raised a brow, smirking. "i wouldn’t have it any other way."

you crossed your arms, glancing around the empty room before fixing your gaze back on him. “are we done?”

brant tilted his head, stretching his arms above him lazily. “mmm, i dunno. you in a rush to leave me already?”

you sighed, shaking your head. “not really, just… wondering why it’s only us now.”

brant smirked, leaning forward slightly. “you nervous?”

you rolled your eyes. “no. just making sure you’re not about to drag me into extra work now that i’m officially in your club.”

he chuckled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “nah, i’m not that evil. besides, i like having you here.”

you narrowed your eyes at him, suspicious. “right… so, are we done now?”

brant hummed, pretending to think. “well, if you wanna go, i won’t stop you.” then, with a playful grin, he added, “but i wouldn’t mind if you stayed.”

you scoffed, glancing at the clock before looking back at him. "i mean, brant, it's time for the club to end? like, look—it's just you and me? you don’t go home?"

brant leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, looking way too comfortable for someone who was supposed to be wrapping things up. "i could go home," he mused. "but you’re still here, so…"

you gave him a deadpan stare. "so what? you waiting for me to carry you out?"

he grinned. "tempting, but no. just thinking—maybe this is fate."

"fate?" you echoed, unimpressed.

brant leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "yeah. just the two of us, alone, after hours… kinda romantic, don’t you think?"

you immediately grabbed your bag. "okay, i’m going home."

as you pushed yourself up from the chair, ready to escape whatever nonsense he was about to pull next, brant suddenly reached out, catching your wrist with a gentle grip.

“oh, okay, wait—” he tugged you back just enough to stop you from leaving. “i’ll take this chair to its place, don’t leave already.”

you narrowed your eyes at him, unconvinced. “...you’re literally begging right now.”

brant sighed dramatically, his other hand over his heart. “maybe i am. can’t a guy just enjoy a little extra time with his favorite club member?”

“i just joined, that means nothing.”

“exactly, you need a proper welcome,” he said, already dragging the chair away but still keeping his eyes on you, like he was making sure you wouldn't bolt the second he turned his back.

you folded your arms. “brant, i swear—if you’re about to make this into another weird, drawn-out conversation—”

he set the chair down, then turned back to you with a grin. “too late, you’re already stuck.”

brant let out a sigh, stretching his arms like he’d just finished something exhausting. “alright, alright. let’s go home now.”

you rolled your eyes but didn’t argue. you waited as he grabbed his bag, then the two of you stepped out of the clubroom together.

the evening air was crisp, the sky already dark, but it wasn’t too cold. they walked side by side, the sound of their footsteps filling the quiet street. it was always a routine—brant walking you home, talking about whatever came to mind while you listened, occasionally rolling your eyes at his ridiculous remarks.

“so,” he started, hands stuffed into his pockets, “how does it feel? officially being one of us?”

you sighed, tilting your head slightly. “honestly? feels like i just signed my soul away.”

brant laughed, “that’s the spirit.”

you shook your head. “i should’ve never asked how to sign up…”

“and yet, here you are, walking home with your incredibly handsome club president,” he teased, nudging your shoulder lightly.

you shot him a deadpan look. “yeah, regretting every step.”

he gasped dramatically. “y/n, you wound me.”

you only hummed in response, looking ahead. your house wasn’t far now.

brant glanced at you, a small smile still lingering on his lips. “still, i’m glad.”

you frowned slightly, “glad about what?”

“that you joined,” he said simply. “even if you regret it, i’m still happy you did.”

you didn’t respond right away, just looked down at the sidewalk as you walked.

“…you’re annoying,” you muttered.

brant chuckled. “yeah, i know, i know."

you both fell silent for a moment after that previous conversation, but unfortunately, brant—who could never stay quiet and always had something to say—clearly wasn’t going to let that happen.

"don't run away this time," he said suddenly, his voice cutting through the silence. "you're officially in the club now."

you scoffed, rolling your eyes. "if you don’t make it worse than it already is, maybe i’ll stay."

brant let out a low chuckle, the sound so natural, so him, that it made your stomach twist uncomfortably. you stared ahead, determined not to acknowledge the way it made you feel.

and then, without warning, his hand landed on your head, ruffling your hair like you’re some kid.

you jerked away immediately, "brant—what the hell!"

he just grinned, completely unfazed. "see you tomorrow at the club," he said, as if that was a normal way to end a conversation. "we’re running scenes."

you narrowed your eyes at him, fixing your hair with an annoyed huff. "you make it sound like a death sentence."

brant smirked, "only if you keep avoiding it."

you had just lifted your hands to smooth down your hair when brant suddenly pulled out his phone.

“wait—stay like that.”

you froze, your fingers still mid-motion. “brant, don’t—”

the faint sound of a camera shutter clicked before you could stop him.

your hand shot out, trying to snatch the phone from him, but he was faster, holding it out of your reach with an infuriating grin. “you look cute.”

your face burned, “delete it.”

“nah.” he scrolled through his gallery, admiring the picture. “might set it as my wallpaper.”

you groaned, shoving his arm, but he barely stumbled. “brant.”

“y/n,” he mimicked your tone with a teasing smirk, “come on, you always look good."

you let out a dramatic sigh, “you’re impossible.”

brant chuckled, slipping his phone back into his pocket before you could attempt another grab. “guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”

you grumbled under your breath, but when you glanced at him, he was still smiling. that soft, amused expression—the one that made your heart trip over itself—was something you'd never quite get used to.

#wuthering waves #wuwa #brant #brant x reader #wuwa x reader

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cozytief · 6 months ago

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Wooyoung "You used to be someone I hated"

Hello ^_^ Back again after a break. Been going through something and couldn't find inspiration.

Thank you to @ateezreactionsandscenarios for your prompts. I know they were for requesting but some of them brought back my spark.

Miscommunication with Wooyoung results in some angst then fluff.

~~~

In no way does this represent Wooyoung irl or his actual personality. This is fiction.

TW: Gay, Slight Angst, Fluffy end, Drinking

~~~

Yunho giggled as he slammed the card he’d been holding down. He’d brought a simple drinking game to the party with low expectations. Yunho had become happy when it became a big hit. The drunk group finding the silly questions and dares hilariously stupid. Wooyoung snagged a card from the table, offering it to M/N. The said male smiling brightly at him as he took the card. M/N read the card twice before pausing for a short time. The group had tossed aside some cards they had agreed weren’t in good flavor earlier. Hongjoong worried for a second that they’d forgotten to pull one.

However, just as fast as M/N’s hesitation appeared, it was gone. “Ah, Woo-ah,” He stated, tossing the card towards the center. The group giggled at the words. Wooyoung and San both reached for the card. Wooyoung was slightly faster. He turned the card over with a smile, questioning what the other had pinned him for. His smile faded as he read over the words. Who have you hated most in the group? Wooyoung couldn’t help but pull the card closer to himself. He was worried the others could see the words. “What?” He questioned, a frown making its way to his face as his eyes landed on M/N. The other shrugged his shoulders, reaching for his drink. “You used to be someone I hated,” The words came out with ease. The group paused, taking in the words M/N had spoken. Wooyoung’s stiff body suddenly becoming bluntly apparent to them. Yunho gave a dry laugh as he tried to cut in. “Used to. That good news, huh,” He questioned, hitting San as he spoke. The other made a noise of agreement. “I-I mean Woo-ah can be a bit much at first,” He commented, shrugging his shoulders too.

M/N shook his head at the words. “A bit much?” He questioned. The group felt fear hit them. They hadn’t thought M/N was drunk but this simple card was proving otherwise. M/N never spoke bad about Wooyoung. They were best friends for fucks sake. Yunho felt regret hit him as he realized this was turning bad fast. The others had asked him not to bring the stupid game and he had. Now, it was about to cause a blowout fight. “Wooyoung’s the nicest person I’ve met. I don’t think it’s possible for him to be too much,” Wooyoung frowned harder at the words. “I’m the nicest person you’ve met, yet you hated me?” He questioned, crossing his arms. M/N laughed as he nodded. “That’s why I hated you so much. Imagine getting rejected by Eden and the guy you lose to gives you the biggest smile and pats your back saying ‘You did so well, M/N-ah,” The words filled the air uncomfortably. Wooyoung spoke before anyone could stop him. “You hated me because I treated you nice?” He muttered out the words in disbelief.

M/N nodded his head. “Woo-ah, every time we went against each other, you won. And you were so nice about it,” Wooyoung frowned at the words. “I didn’t win every time-” M/N laughed loudly at the words. “Literally every time, Woo-ah. God, I felt so talentless next to you,” M/N leaned forward as he spoke. “Did you know Eden-Hyung handpicked me? Handpicked, yet I lost every time I went against you. I think that’d irk anyone, but it hurt more knowing you’d smile and act like it wasn’t important,” M/N shook his head while taking a sip of his drink. Wooyoung’s head had tilted, like he couldn’t understand what was happening. “I-I didn’t know you felt that way,” He softly stated. M/N shook his head. “I tried not to show it. It’s not like it was your fault,” The words brought a slight smile to his face. “Seriously, nicest person ever,” He muttered, reaching to give Wooyoung’s hand a quick squeeze. “I think you’re the only person to say I’m the nicest person you know,” M/N giggled, leaning into Wooyoung as he spoke. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be mean,” San’s eyes widened at the words.

“He’s the meanest! God, has he bit you yet?!” M/N giggled at the words, tilting his head up to look at Wooyoung as he spoke. “Bit? Do you plan on biting me?” The words from M/N made his heart thump hard. He was positive that his heart could be heard by the others. Wooyoung simply smiled and gently leaned down to catch the other’s shoulder in between his teeth. He barely gave it a squeeze before pulling away, a cheesy smile on his face. M/N giggled. “See, nicest person ever! Y’all call that a bite?!” Wooyoung watched M/N with a smile on his face as the group turned into a fight. The others claiming he was mean and harsh with them while M/N claimed that the ‘bite’ He’d just gotten was nothing.

#wooyoung x m/n #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung angst #fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez oneshot #x male reader #atz x reader #x male y/n #x wooyoung #wooyoung x male reader #wooyoung #wooyoung oneshot #ateez x reader #atz #wooyoung x y/n #wooyoung x reader

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blackbirdffxiv · 2 months ago

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PINNED INFO

A simple, quick run-down and easy to reference sort of "guide" to my blog; will be updated and added to/subtracted from as necessary.

A little introduction: hello, I'm Ellie, the entity of caffeine-fueled chaos person behind the blog/character(s) you see here. A quick run-down on who I am:

I'm over 21+ years old

Blog silence ≠ abandoned blog, I'm just very busy IRL + I just get lazy and don't add to my queue like I should

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Regarding Mods: I make mods in my spare time, and I am willing to assist in mod technical help with mods I've created; please understand that if you're having issues with a mod from another creator, I probably won't be able to help you.

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Lookbook: Usually with my gposes, to make it easier for those who are shy/are too nervous to DM me privately for WCIF questions, I have a lookbook for a majority of my gposes! Ever wanna know what I'm using, each gpose has their respective lookbook post accompanied.

In-Character Musings/Ramblings (mostly from ask prompts/etc)

Writings pertaining to my character(s)

Lore / Lore-Adjacent Gposes/Writing (canon, canon-divergent, etc).

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These are more for my custom-tagged content, as most of my other posts have generic, easy-to-find tags.

ffxiv mods: I use this for my mod releases.

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Mun Ramblings: This is my OOC tag when I am just kinda going on about things that may not be related to XIV, sometimes it is. It can literally be about anything. This is also coupled with a generic OOC tag.

Reminders of You: My "IC" aesthetic tag, primarily about my main as my main is who I like to focus on for things like aesthetic posts, RP, In-Character, etc.

Spicy Gposes: This is my NSFW gpose tag. None of my NSFW content posted here will be explicit. The only lewd content I post here are tasteful nudes. They are also accompanied by a Mature/Sexual Content filter, as well as a generic NSFW tag for easier blocking.

My Current Character Roster; characters' names in blue are established roleplay characters that I actively write characters in green are not roleplay characters but do have lore that ties into FFXIV characters in red are simply for gpose

LAST UPDATED: 3/5/2025

Eliceyn Birch - Hyur Highlander (carrd)

Seivant - Duskwood Elezen

Grim - Seawolf Roegadyn

Revi - Tiefling (Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te)

Kal - Hyur Midlander

Caefyre - Hyur Midlander

Nao - High Elf (Veena Viera)

Below are the places where I post my mods; this list will be updated as necessary.

Heliosphere XIV Mod Archive Kofi

Below are my other social media websites; if they are inactive, they will be labeled as such.

Twitter / "X" (Inactive) Bluesky (Active - Main)

#OOC #Pinned Info #It was time to update this dinosaur of a pinned info box

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prettyb0ycvnt · 7 months ago

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24, 40, 42 :>

eeek hii >_< okay!!!

24 - what is your perviest confession?

i do admit there have been times where i've touched myself while engaged in completely casual conversation with someone... it's very hard! im not good at typing one handed!!! in a similar vein but more focused on tumblr,, if ur reading this and we've interacted in a sexual manner at any point or i've read any of ur hornyposts i definitely have jacked off to the thought of you and that's the truth >_<

40 - describe how you usually masturbate

it's a little boring i fear >_< !? hmm ok so i don't really tend to get that wet initially even if i'm really turned on by something,, my body goes through allll the works Except getting this stupid pussy wet LOL sooo i do have to kinda bring that on myself which i usually do by clitoral stimulation !! whether that be flicking it or rubbing it with my finger... grinding onto my pillow helps quite a lot too and my chest is also really sensitive lawd i remember this one time i was playing with my nipples for funsies and then all of a sudden it was like a tsunami within my body i was like Huh. Okay then! once i'm properly lubricated that's when the real action starts,,, i don't own any toys or anything so literally all i have to work with is my fingers!?? but they do the job ^_^ you know the motions with fingering. two middle fingers! come-hither motion! i have pretty small hands and thus pretty small fingers so it does make it a liiitle difficult to reach right in there but i find that if i thrust my hips in the same rhythm as my fingers it's like . oughh... i tend to start slow!!! i like building that heat within me before increasing the pace. then i either slow down or withdraw completely because uhhh i like torturing myself yayyy! pretty sure if i didn't have a clit i'd die probably GODDD i love playing with it sm its so fun hellooo ! usually at the same time as i'm fingering myself but other times i stop completely and just focus on that . aiden nsfw lore update he's a Squirter & clitoral stimulation really triggers that so naturally i do it every chance i can . it takes quite a while for me to like actually have a proper orgasm but!!! it happens eventually,, and it's always fun :3 also why the fuxk is this so long HELPPP OK to the next question we go

42 - describe your most recent sex dream

OH MY GOSH ok so im pretty sure i had one like last week but i can't remember it LOL sooo we'll go to the one from like. months and months ago that i haven't been able to get out of my head. it had a whole fucking plot line so im pretty sure i was a worker at this like research facility buuut oooh omg high stakes!! something went wrong. and now we've all gotta escape the facility or we fucking die. and genuinely it was so scary i was tweaking so bad in the dream HELPPP like it felt so urgent and we were kinda trapped so it felt real claustrophobic and horrible Until... until it took a wild fucking turn. so i had to go and find one of my co-workers (someone I've seen irl like genuinely i think it was some random person who i saw on the street one time) who had his own little section within the facility because it was Where he Lived basically,,, and the moment i got to his base to inform him about the High Stakes Escape Plan i realised he had just got out of the shower and was very naked ! and suddenly the plan was very much forgotten . it's a little blurry but i do remember dream me being pinned against the wall and his hands sliding between my legs,, and of course i know what that feels like so my body in real life felt so tingly and weird it was so vivid oh my god!!! it's a little blurry after that for a while buuut,,, dream me and random guy did end up fucking on the floor. and also against the wall...and on his desk... and the thing is i don't know what it feels like to . you know. have a dick inside me because im a loser virgin!!!! but my stomach felt sooo tight and so hot and it was like. guh,,, there's only one line of dialogue i remember and it's "want me to fill you up, huh? want to be bred?" AND LIKE HDHDHJFJDJG sorry I got dizzy just thinking about it . . so i did >_< or rather dream me did !!!! and i also don't know what it's like to have a load shot in me so it didn't feel like anything but im just saying i would like to!!!! very much !!! god i can't even remember where the dream went from there but needless to say the whole escaping the facility plotline was very much forgotten in favour of dick . a welcome diversion ! and then i Woke Up Different. i don't know what it is with me and wet dreams set in weird ass places bc like 3 years ago i had a wet dream where i was in a prison,, and i was assigned the Prison Fucktoy basically and all the guys in there lined up for a chance of me sucking their dick??? sucked a lot of dream dicks. i also think about that dream every day but uhh i digress

#☆ asks #WHY IS THIS SO LONG IM. TWEAKING #hey aiden shut up sometimes #ill get to the other ones in a bit this took all my energy LOL #trans nsft #mlm nsft #queer nsft #mlm ns/fw #ftm ns/fw

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sege-h · 13 days ago

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New pinned finally let's go

Because a new one was long overdue and I don't want anything relating to that oc showdown blog as my pinned anymore

And I figured it'd be fun if I answered some questions still because I'm sure plenty of people by now have gone;

"Sege I thought this was the Sonic brainrot always blog, what the hell is all this Pokemon Gurren Lagann stuff going on?!?"

At the end of summer 2024 I rewatched Gurren Lagann for the first time since 2011. And then the brainrot took hold. The difference between me in 2011 and me in 2024 is that I can draw humans and anime men now. Which means I can just keep making my own stuff for this anime that's been over for almost two decades--

At the same time my dormant Pokemon obsession finally became active again for the first time in like 2 years. And it became VERY active. So Gurren Lagann did what it does best and combined with the reignited Pokemon hyperfixation rather than being pushed out by it.

It didn't help that I was being enabled via my friend @/riftclaw who's had a long time Pokemon au xe is now writing and went "Kamina and Simon can be canon to my au" (I originally intended for it to be an au of an au)

You should go read the stuff xe has out for the au so far btw I love it and it's part of what threw me face first back into pokemon GO READ IT

Anyway obv these are not my OCs so it's not like I have written out lore here or have OC memes to reblog and answer questions for. So I'm gonna answer some questions under the cut as a sort of FAQ as to what's wrong with me lately and what's going on with these au versions bc I think they'd be fun to answer.

AU FAQ under readmore

What are Simon and Kamina doing in your friend's Pokemon au??

Chilling-- shdHSGDHS. Ok in-univers they're just regular(ish) dudes that were born in that world. The irl reason? My sudden Gurren Lagann hyperfixation happened simultaneously as my Pokemon one. And I'd spent like all year reading snippets of the fic Blake was working on, along with worldbuilding for it.

In that au's lore, a lot of the people in Blackthorn are dragon hybrids. This results in them having naturally occurring bright red hair, or blue hair. They also have some dragon-esque traits like fangs or sharp teeth. The Tatsumi family (Lance's and Clair's family) have red eyes.

The red eyes given are EXACTLY like the ones Kamina has in canon. So while juggling these two hyperfixations I was like "Haha hey Blake you know how Kamina gets drawn with fangs in canon super often, has red eyes, blue hair, and an affinity for capes? What if I made an au of your au where he's Lance's and Clair's brother" and then Blake was like "He's canon TO the au now" and the ball kinda got rolling from there (Thank u Blake)

Simon is also a hybrid tho not a dragon one. There's a town in the au that gets literally wiped off the map because of an earthquake/massive sinkhole. So I plopped Simon in there to keep his earthquake trauma. Even tho they're not from the same town, Kamina and Simon still find each other and Kamina takes him in to Blackthorn after the town's disaster happens and Simon loses his parents in it.

Extra bit of info: Kamina's full name in this au is Kamina Tatsumi, and Simon's is Simon Takashi. I know it's popular fanon to give them the last names of Jiha/Giha since other characters in canon have their last names be the villages they came from. But I don't subscribe to this since they tried so hard to get AWAY from their village I don't think they'd adopt it into their names, so I got Simon a whole new last name even tho this is an au.

Are other Gurren Lagann characters in this AU?

PROBABLY although they would be background/side characters since Kamina and Simon are what I focus on here. They have a whole wide world to exist in so they could be out and about. Like I can't imagine Simon NOT meeting up with and eventually dating Nia. If Kamina gets to live then she should get to live too. She'd probably be a fairy hybrid of some sort because I mean. Look at her.

Kittan might be somewhere out there too as a friend Kamina occasionally meets up with and bickers with, kind of like a rival. I don't think he'd be a hybrid because I think it's funny how in episode 4 when Kamina met him he was like 'SHOW ME YOUR TEETH SO I CAN SEE THAT THEY'RE FLAT AS PROOF YOU'RE NOT A BEASTMAN' like he doesn't frequently get drawn with fangs.

Tl;dr: Yes the other GL characters could potentially be out there even if my focus isn't on them. It's a big world out there and Kamina and Simon are traveling it, so they're meeting all sorts of people all the time.

Ok but Sege you appear to have gone insane over Adaman/Kamina? How did this happen? Is it a crackship?

This is not a crackship-- at least not by the og definition. Nowadays it seems to get used as a term for 'a ship that isn't canon' but the og definition meant 'silly unserious joke ship'.

Adaman/Kamina is canon to the au and is treated completely seriously.

Did I mean for it to happen? Nope! It was another case of 'author does the writing and then the character end up doing whatever they want instead of anything that was planned for'

In this au Kamina is the one that ends up living through the events of Legends Arceus-- except unlike in the game he gets to bring himself and Ingo home after fighting Arceus.

To me Adaman is bisexual af, and I figured he'd have a crush on Kamina. It was meant to be silly-- Kamina is an acearo that hasn't found the words for it because he's just not focused on that. He's focused on Pokemon and battling and traveling the world. He's oblivious to a lot of advances. So Adaman runs into a lot of situations where Kamina's absolutely dense about how he feels.

But then I was like 'well. Adaman is impatient, and he's got no lack of confidence. I don't think he'd keep these feelings to himself for the entirety of Kamina's stay in Hisui'

And things kinda spiraled from there because then we have Kamina, who's been stuck in Hisui for a couple months or so at that point. The Pokemon team he's familiar with-- some of which he's grown up with, isn't there. There aren't even that many dragon types in Hisui for him to speak to and be himself around (he's hiding the whole dragon thing given how the people of Jubilife are around Pokemon alone)

He's been separated from his family and friends. Ingo and Adaman are the people he hangs around the most, and some of the only people that know (save for a few other Diamond clan members that were there when Adaman himself found out)

He's got no people to be around most the time, no one to really let in his personal space. And as someone that's grown up with a bunch of siblings and then gone on to make a bunch of friends, that's a big thing for him.

He's lonely af, so when Adaman confesses by kissing him, he gives in to that. They end up with a sort of arrangement where they both get affection for different reasons. And then it starts deepening beyond that. It's queerplatonic rather than a strict romance, so what that means to them fluctuates through the story. All the while they're keeping it a secret just so it doesn't seem like the guy who fell from the sky is playing favorites with one of the clans over the others.

But by the nature of how Legends Arceus would end if there was an option for the player to go back from wherever Arceus plucked them from, it does mean that they get separated in the end. They know this will happen but they stay with each other until the end anyway.

They move on with their lives, but they do end up reunited even though it's years down the line

Anyway that's why I've been insane lately SHDGSHDHHSD. Will add more stuff if I think of any or get asked

#Ramblings #Pokemon Gurren

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kiawren · 9 months ago

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hi wren it's nice to meet you!! I hope you don't mind the random ask, but I'd love to hear abt your ship with kiawe!! how did you meet him, and what first drew you into him? and whatever else you'd want to talk abt!! (also when I was reading your pinned I saw you like link click which is SO COOL and I had to say smth :] )

- @linkclick

HELLO Nice to meet you too Julian yes I love link click i have this merch it's like holographic so when you see it from a different angle the rainbow parts are really cool I think it's really dynamic and fun to look at

ALSO IT'S GREAT HOW YOUR USERNAME IS LITERALLY LINKCLICK AND THAT YOU HAVE LINK CLICK F/OS I don't but the media is amazing if you have lore about your selfship I would really like to know as well

Okay so kiawren lore! I think I've said it before somewhere but Im lazy to find it so I'll just say everything again

Idk if you've played the games (but anyway it's not important for you to know) but my s/i Wren doesn't follow the MC's story in the games. He's an aspiring conservationist who goes to alola on a study/research/outreach conservation programme for a few months. Becuz alola's inspiration is Hawaii irl and although I wouldn't go as a tourist irl it's nice to dream that I could go somewhere so uniquely biodiverse and help out in conservation which is also literally my ambition so when I selfship in that role it makes me happy...

Wren meets kiawe when they visit Wela volcano park one day to find a nice spot to view the sunset. Honestly the meeting lore is not fixed lol. Kiawe does his trial captain duties at the top of the volcano and he was done with his duties for the day and going to head down the volcano for his canon night job at the supermarket when he sees wren and is wondering who is up here when the sky is getting so dark plus some graveler (a pokemon) specifically happened to block some of the paths that day lol idk. So becuz he felt he has a duty to look after the people and pokemon he wanted to accompany wren down cuz the paths are rocky. And then wren is like but I want to see the sunset he's like ok fine I know the best places to see it follow me. Okay so that was the first meeting

Subsequently wren just meets Kiawe at the volcano increasingly often, from like twice a week to 5 times a week to every day. Also wren's conservation thing is mainly on akala island (out of the 4 total islands in alola) which is also where Kiawe is from, and one of their research tasks was on the volcano so they met and talked and usually kiawe isn't super fond of foreigners he thought wren was some tourist but finding out he's doing some conservation thing he found it nice.

Yeah so they just got to know each other more and wren develops a crush first. For what draws me into him...

He studies traditional dances from his culture and hopes to study abroad and fulfil this passion of his, which is why he has that night shift at the supermarket but he also got laid off from it in canon 😭 And when you find out about it he says "it seems like nothing ever goes right..." and asks to battle you and says this after like ARRRRGHHHH

Like I just want to be able to encourage him that he cna achieve his dreams becuz he's one of the most hardworking and passionate people ever like he deserves everything

Also this, it's directly implying Kiawe is a romanticist becuz you get this Reverent battle style after battling him

And like it's so heartwarming to know this guy who has like a stoic exterior has sentiments like this, I'm honestly similar in this way that we're both sorta idealists. So I would like to sit him with and talk about our ambitions together especially becuz even though my primary interest is the natural world, culture is also my second biggest interest and for him it's the other way round.

Also in another game he said that other people don't really like his intensity, but his two friends Mallow and Lana don't mind, and thanks the player for also not minding. And his dad also said he's always been quite lonely and it's nice to see the MC be friends with him like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 kiawe's such a genuine person but not the best at social interactions but when you get to know him I think he can be so generous and caring and humble and a great person to share your dreams with and achieve them together.

Also since he's a fire type pokemon trainer I associate him with red, fire, heat and the sun cuz he's so central to my world and a huge motivation and a person I can admire so much, so when I listen to music and read poems and stuff it's fun to find themes like this and think of my love for him Yes 😁

Thank you for the ask and the interest in kiawren it's always fun to procrastinate by talking about us LOL

#Kiawren #asks!#About kiawren

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flanneryculp · 2 years ago

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why flan is a lesbian (and why it’s important)

when i first read tb8, i thought, “well, i think flan is a lesbian, but maybe that’s just projection,” and then i went online and saw that everyone else had come to the same conclusion. now i actually do think theres quite a bit of canon evidence pointing to her being gay. this post puts it really really well :)

spoilers below cut

for one thing can we talk about how differently flan talks about female characters from male characters in general? if you look at how she describes the photograph in the beginning it’s obvious. flantasha nation for life but how many times has flan gone on about jennifer rose milton being beautiful or v____ looking pretty? not even adam gets description to this extent.

also, transvioletbaudelaire made a really good point about flan’s reaction to this. it was a big tonal shift despite the paragraph having nothing to do with what was going on. flan was more affected by a few sentences about being gay than the rest of ron’s speech about adam being missing……

something i’ve recently noticed is that most of natasha’s idols are queer. marlene dietrich had the first on-screen kiss between two women ever, as well as being openly into women irl. bette davis and dorothy parker were historically popular within gay communities, and anais nin wrote about wlw sex in her diary. this is coming from the book that foreshadowed douglas’s sexuality by having him be associated w/ gay artists!!!!

even natasha’s very first and last mentions are associated with gayness. her first mention being how she watched a fellini movie with flan (context says it’s la dolce vita, which has an explicitly gay plotline), and of course, dr. tert explicitly stating that a version of natasha is a lesbian (!!) ofc dr. tert isn’t the most reliable source, but the point is that after you just finished the book, the final thought youre meant to have about natasha is that she’s gay!!!

another one of the most important scenes is halloween, which literally opens with natasha pinning flan to her bed. then, natasha yells at flan to break up with gabriel and get over adam. natasha empathizes in her speech that flan isn’t being true to herself by liking them. considering that flan is natasha and usually natasha has more awareness over what flan knows but can’t admit.....

and then they go upstairs and undress together.

flan notes:

they were constantly looking at each other’s bodies

flan feeling “liquid and naughty” when they did. even before putting on the dress, she feels powerful.

“[natasha] looked at me as i felt the sudden true flush of desire.” <- actual line from the book

later during the party, while flan and adam are having sex, flan spends half the paragraph thinking about how gorgeous she/natasha is. flan really does not miss an opportunity to talk about natasha’s beauty throughout the book lmao

another thing flan does is describe natasha using romantic metaphors.

like she literally associates natasha’s gum with a kiss and then admits to using pathetic fallacy.

flan does it a lot throughout the book.

and not just that. natasha also plays the role of a boyfriend in flan’s life, and flan is always happier to be with natasha than with gabriel or adam.

and when adam flakes on his date with flan, natasha literally takes her out to the movies.

speaking of movies, the day flan was supposed to go to the movies as a date with gabriel is the first day that she helps douglas hide his homosexuality. most of flan’s friends’ issues mirror flan’s own, as shown in the halloween party. callous breakups, jealousy, etc. struggling with being gay in a homophobic society is a major theme in the book with characters like douglas and ron, and it would make sense for flan to experience it, too, even if she doesn’t realize.

a lot of gabriel and flan’s relationship reads to me as a metaphor for comphet. not only does flan not like him, but she talks about how things are supposed to be.

(also, on the previous page, flan compares kissing gabriel to opening an old carton of milk. she isn’t thrilled lol)

even though flan’s feelings for adam are more intense than the ones for gabriel, they’re also forced to a certain extent.

heres the first time she talks about adam:

natasha is shocked. if flan truly loved adam, wouldnt she love him fully? if she did, natasha’s inital reaction would be supportive, but instead she just makes fun of him. flan never even admits why she likes adam, not even to herself. flan doesn’t even think that she and adam will work out, judging by her hesitancy. over and over, natasha tells flan that adam is a jerk and to get over him.

flan tries very hard to convince herself that she likes adam, and it works. she’s telling everyone (and herself) that she loves adam while also avoiding him and not having any reason to love him, other than the superficial.

“he is the only appropriate person for me to like”

natasha didn’t find out gabriel’s crush on flan until september 21st, over 60 pages later. lily might have known, but who was natasha thinking about???

also, flan and adam are also cast as husband and wife in the play. they are literally playing the parts that were given to them!!

even though flan has gotten herself in deep, there have been multiple times where flan almost does get over adam! she mentions feeling bored of him, avoiding him, just not caring until he always ropes her back in at the last minute. she’s put her self-worth in his opinion of her, and doesn’t give up until the very end.

from the beginning, adam was always more of a symbol than a person. he represents men as a whole, or the idea of them. flan literally falls in love with an image of a man (the statue of david) rather than an actual one, and projects that image onto adam. kate and flan talk about how they would be better off without all the adams.

all her life, flan has been fed these societal expectations on what kind of relationships she should have and who she should be. she clings onto those expectations, even when she never loved adam to begin with. it takes her until halloween to accept that whether he likes her or not doesn’t matter -- he’s a jerk. in general flan’s arc is about how societal pressures, to act a certain way, look a certain way, love a certain way, etc etc can mess with their own self perception and maybe cause them to kill someone.

#i dont think any one of these points alone is enough to prove that flan is a lesbian #but there are so many i cant help but think it was intentional #also sorry about the varying image quality. you can see i was writing this at multiple times of day lol #the basic eight #flannery culp #analysis

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nonbinaryvee · 1 year ago

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1. How long have you been into hypnosis?

Over 20 years im 35, aol chat and latch key kid lol

2. Describe your first experience with hypnosis

A child therapist when I was 6 or 7

3. Are there any TV shows/movies/books you liked when you were younger that you think got you into hypnosis?

Multiple - one early memory is of the droopy cartoon and Elvira brainwashes him, also the schooby do ghoul school movie brainwashing bat headphones, the snake in jungle book iant a hard hitting memory.

4. Are you primarily a hypnotist or a subject?

Subject but am adapt as a tist

5. Are you primarily a dom/me or a sub?

Super duper submissive lol like it's embarrassing

6. What do you love about being hypnotised?

The loss of anxiety, my brain being "off", and the submission relates to it.

7. What do you love about hypnotising people?

I actually really enjoy training or coaching, so Im not dominant but love helping someone achieve thier goals. I see it a lot like a service.

8. How do you feel when hypnotised?

When I'm really deep I'm absent like totally disassociation. Like floating in water almost with the reverberation of the water

9. How do you feel when you hypnotise someone else?

Like when I zone out playing a video game, I need to hit the right buttons to win the game. So I get self tranced kinda.

10. Are you a difficult subject?

Yes and no. Im super easy to drop, enjoy, and play with. However my subconscious is pretty wild, and hard to pin down into a focused direction. So long term results may very lol..

11. What’s your ‘signature move’ as a hypnotist?

Doing what the subject wants, staying very in limits, and leaving the subject with a deep enjoyment of water. Actually enjoying the taste of possible...cause it's almost sadistic to make anti hydrating people hydrate lol

12. What’s your favourite kind of hypnotic induction?

Consented to conversational hypnosis that leads into Ericksonian themed guidance.

13. Do you like visual fixation (on spirals, eyes, swinging objects etc.) for hypnosis?

I love it lol. But sometimes it's better for bdsm rp hypnosis and less for getting good results.

14. What are your favourite kinds of hypnosis play?

I really enjoy fetish creation and accidental self help for others. For me...well, I like hard kinks cnc addition, memory play, corruption, if I had irl hypno dom ild be pretty free use..

15. What other kinks do you like to incorporate into your hypno play?

Pet play, equipment, feminization, toilet play,.identity play, all sorts. It could literally make any scene more fun for me. It's my number one kink.

16. For you, is the appeal of hypnosis primarily sexual or not?

It's both relaxing, a hobby, and sexual. It's kinda just my favorite thing lol

17. What are some post-hypnotic suggestions you particularly enjoy (for others or yourself)?

I love simple pleasure triggers. .good girl is so classic, good boy, good pet , those are just the best.

18. Describe your best experience involving hypnosis

My long term enjoyment of Bambi files.

19. Describe a bad experience you had involving hypnosis? Why was it bad? Why did it go wrong?

I worked with a subject over the course of months, experimenting with hypnosis capabilities, we decided to try and have their hair color change through natural causes. What ended up happening was that their subconscious took over, made them go into what.thwy described as "drone mode" even tho that had never been a theme we used. And purchased hair dye, almost got kicked out of their home as they were just 19 and parents hadn't accepted them as fem. It was pretty scary and not meant to ever become unsafe for them, we took a few days to de program her entirely after that. And then she ghosted me. I understand why, even though it was all consented to, I learned a lot about the limits of hypnosis.

20. What’s one tip you have for other hypnotists/subjects?

Every one's sensations are hyper individualistic as a newer subject. The one thing I'd want both sets to know, is that new subjects should not be directed to feel anything like heavy or light or floaty. Just say trance or hypnosis, then identify the feeling they associate to trance. This is the number issue i see, new subjects feel like failures because they're sensations don't line up with the guides suggestions this loosing faith and trust in the trancing process. And for hypnotists it's probably just because of troupes and the average trance script as those things in them.

21. Do you have any tips for how to negotiate hypnosis play?

It has to be consented to before scene starts.period. consent is sexy. Even if it's premising cnc. Communication is key to any relationship, and kinky dynamics are just that personified. Having an understanding of what the subjects long term wants are important with hypnosis play, also it has to be stared that deep real hypnosis is a R.A.C.K practice if done right. If the subject is blanking an entire trance, that's akin to needing a trip nanny while using hallucinating on illicit things. Like asphyxiation play, public humiliation, and a few others hypnosis can have out-of-the-scenes consequences. Hence why knowing your subjects over all goals for interaction is sooo important. Do they want an escape? Or do they want to loose human rights(in a kinky consenting way for 24/7 pets).

22. Do you like your hypnosis to involve power exchange, or not?

I enjoy it when I'm the subject but avoid it as the hypnotist

23. For you, how does hypnosis fit into a relationship? Just in the bedroom, or as part of BDSM relationship?

It can be both. Or one or the other. It's such a dynamic activity I would personally hate to limit it.

24. Are you interested in a 24/7 hypnotic enslavement relationship?

Yes. Way more than a healthy amount lol.

25. Have you ever experienced strong, sudden feelings for a hypnotist/subject? How did you deal with that?

Yes. It's kinda normal for me for anyone who's nice to me, for me to immediately dive deep. I just roll with it when it's not reciprocated as it's the sop at this point lol

26. Are you interested in hypnotising/being hypnotised by people of a gender you are not attracted to?

So as a pansexual... n/a lol. But I do prefer feme people so getting tranced by masq people? Still yes lol

27. What’s your favourite work of hypnosis erotica?

There was a omniscient therapy story that was great lol but don't get to read much

28. What’s your favourite spiral?

The ones in my DMs lol is there a bad one?

29. What’s your favourite hypno-themed image/caption/piece of art?

I really enjoy the indie artists that just randomly have hypno smut plastered online. They all deserve oral for their valiant efforts to keep the masses under hypnotic horny controls

30. What’s your favourite audio file/audio file producer?

Hmmm 🤔 platinum puppets is winning right now .

31. What’s your favourite book/movie/TV show that includes hypnosis?

Hmmm anime lol

32. Describe your biggest fantasy involving hypnosis?

The hole 10 yards honestly, life take over. For me, getting actually kidnapped and changed to their liking

33. Do you have any fantasies about non-consensual hypnosis? Describe them

...yes...waking up to pictures getting taken of me then blanking out again, waking up in a pink room and not being able to.focus, then it starts again. Then getting shown all the porn I've been made into while not in trance. Simple private messages with no description, hypnosis files linked and told to listen with no knowledge of the script. So many ways to give my mind away 🤤

34. What’s one fictional character you’ve fantasised about hypnotising/being hypnotised by?

Poison ivy

35. Do you like intelligence loss/bimbofication hypnosis? Why?

Probably my favorite. I can't stop thinking. About things wildly out of my control. Also choices give me anxiety. You know who doesn't do that? Dumb bimbos

36. Do you like amnesia play? Why?

Yes, it's just an intense rush being unaware of my own actions..a loss of control able to be identified internally. It's like the control is inside me. And it's lovely

37. Do you like freeze triggers? Why?

Yes and no .they just don't really feeze my body.

38. Do you like pleasure triggers? Why?

Mmmmmmmm yeah. For one good girl is a trigger I cant stop. At all. It happens 100%. No choice so it s just fun. But who doesn't want pleasure??? Like obvious

39. Do you like alternate personalities created through hypnosis? Why?

Not really. I don't wish my natural state on any one. It's hard

40. Do you like feminization hypnosis? Why?

Yes. Its such a nice thing for trans fems. And honestly it just a great way to do forced.fem link scenes

41. Have you ever experienced a “hands-free” orgasm as a result of hypnosis?

No, 😔😔😔 but the amount of leaking and throbbing without touching is wild

42. Which famous person do you think has the most hypnotic voice?

Tom Hiddleston

43. If you make hypnosis content, what’s your favourite piece of content you’ve made?

I don't yet but plan on it

44. Have you ever used hypnotic conditioning to help you or someone else with a part of your/their life?

Bambi files helped me accept myself as non binary trans fem. And have helped many people get better healthy lifestyles myself

45. Have you ever been to a hypnosis convention? Did you enjoy it, or not? Why?

I have not..but wow does that sound fun.

46. How has being involved with hypnosis/the hypno community improved your life?

Out of all the communities online, hypnosis is the most accepting of extreme thoughts that don't translate to extreme actions. Being able to express things and explore in a safe community has been life saving for me multiple times over the years.

47. What is one thing about the hypnosis community you think could change for the better?

Hhmmm I wish hypno therapy practicers were more willing to help the hypno kink community be ethical and just ban hammer it so much from open discussion.

48. Who is one person in the hypno community you really admire?

Mind Mistress. Old but gold. And her team in the 2000s was just the best thing ever

49. What is your favourite hypnosis-themed blog on tumblr?

Neural Nets and pretty patterns is solid. I dont know much about the creators. But the content is on point.

#prompt list #hypno sub #submisive sissy #hypnosis #bambisleep #transgender #questions #hypnotized

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 1 year ago

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If DCLA characters had Tumblr 🕺🏼

🌟 supernova-number-one follow

Thanks for all the comments on my latest fic update! Chapter 140 should be up any day now <3

#continue to give me comments! #it makes me so happy! #except for that one person please stop giving comments i’m scared

5 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead follow

I am convinced I have found one of the girls in my school’s fanfiction account. I can’t confront her about it because she will never admit it, so I have left cryptic comments on her fics to leave hints that I know.

♻️ 🌟 supernova-number-one follow

So I’m obviously not her, but on my fics, someone has left a bunch of really weird comments and I am so afraid that it’s someone I know irl. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I write fanfiction, as I am paranoid it would lead to my mom finding out, and that could lead to her looking through my fics. And I swear she’d look through every single chapter of my 139 chapter long fic.

Though, it’s kinda funny that you do it to the girl from your school. Hope she gets busted haha.

♻️ 🌼 punk-not-dead follow

Oh yeah, I really get that! Let’s hope whoever it is leaving cryptic messages on your fic is someone nice, or just a troll.

I’m close to busting her… I’ll give an update >:)

10 notes

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant follow

You ever see a girl and you’re just… yeah.

♻️🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Felt this.

♻️✌🏼 arodarmivida follow

Not sure if this is about girls being pretty or not but I choose to believe the gay view

♻️ 👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant follow

Good. That was the intention 😉

♻️😎 rapmiro follow

LOOOL not me thinking it was about someone starting to rap the second they saw a girl

33k notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am follow

Tfw you don’t remember if that thing you recall happening in your childhood happened when you lived in the UK, France or Congo, or if it happened in your home country at some point

♻️📸 felicityfornow follow

OP, respectfully, how many countries have you lived in, and why?

♻️ 🎤 singing-is-who-i-am follow

I have lost count.

Long story short, my dad thought moving to new countries would help him deal with his issues :-)

#he was SURPRISED when I said I needed to go to therapy

80 notes

🎨 biamakesart follow

Hi! I just wanted to say, I’m open for commissions! Check my pinned post for more information.

Everyone remember to keep cool and always be yourselves 🌈💖🫶

2k notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Another day of being painfully in love with your female best friend while everyone thinks you’re in love with this annoying boy, because ”you seem so annoyed with him, thus you must care and have a crush on him”. Like shut up??

♻️ ✌🏼 arodarmivida follow

Oof yeah I hate everyone assuming you’re straight. Sadly I was in a comphet field for so long and had this mindset both about my friend and of others.

I also have a crush on my bestie. Everyone says she’s in love with a boy but she herself dismisses it. Hm. Do you think I should ask her if she likes girls?

♻️ 🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Uh!! Yeah!

Please update when/if you did!

Maybe I should confess to my friend too… hopefully it goes well.

♻️ 🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector follow

It’s been 3 days. How did it go? Did anyone confess?

♻️ 🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

So, here’s a funny story…

Turns out @arodarmivida and I know each other irl. I should have guessed by her username, that’s literally my bestie’s favorite song.

♻️ ✌🏼 arodarmivida follow

Yeah guys plot twist we are the two best friends who secretly pined after each other and anyway we’re dating now 💜

♻️ 🌼 punk-not-dead follow

Happy 2 years to this wonderful post

♻️ 😎 rapmiro follow

Am I the only one curious about the boy they thought one of them had a crush on?

22k notes

💍 queenoftherink follow

Not my ”mom” trying to shape me to be exactly like her and then becoming surprised when I have the same stubborness and willpower as her.

♻️ 🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Why do you have ”mom” in quotations?

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

There are some things that are too complicated to explain, my dear lesbian on the internet.

999 notes

📸 felicityfornow follow

It’s so funny because I’ve had this blog for so long that I forget that not everyone knows that my real name is not Felicity.

♻️ 🌼 punk-not-dead follow

Lol, reminds me of people who wonders why I have this url.

What can I say, it was 2012 and I had a phase. Now I am too lazy to change it.

♻️ 👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant follow

My url’s backstory is so funny because it’s from one (1) conversation I had with a girl where she called me an ant and then it just got stuck like this

♻️ 🌟 supernova-number-one follow

That’s so funny because I called my best friend an ant once. I guess it’s a common thing to call people 😁

My url is self explanatory obviously 😚😏🤩

60 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon follow

Fell out of my bed again ��🤣🤣🤣

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

I’m so glad I decided to stare at you sleeping tonight so I could see that action.

♻️ 🧢 everythingscominguponmaxi follow

Why did you stare at her sleeping?

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

We live together.

♻️ 🎤 singing-is-who-i-am follow

It still does not answer the question?

40 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist follow

Here’s a reminder for @rollerskatingonthemoon to take her adhd meds, bestie I know you have forgotten

♻️ 🎸 beanie-guitarist follow

@ queenoftherink can you remind her if she does not see this

♻️ 🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon follow

I didn’t forget 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

She ran into the kitchen and said ”WHERE IS MY MEDICINE I FORGOT” and then sat on the counter kicking her feet in the air as she took it.

Needless to say she did forget. Thank you for reminding her.

♻️ 🍓 chico-fresa follow

It’s so funny following y’all, because you sound exactly like people I know irl 😃

7 notes

#tell me if you want a part 2 #ALSO IT WAS SOMEONE WITH AN ACTUAL URL CALLED ’QUEENOFTHERINK’#thus the space #violetta #soy luna #disney bia #if dcla characters had tumblr

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chiyoso · 2 years ago

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Hiiiiiii

I just wanted to warn you about the incoming spam tomorrow. I just finished Luofu trailblazer quests and now I am all ready to binge on your HSR works 👻

I finally finished it.

I am yet to play the character story quests and world quests.

But hear me out. Is it just me or did the Luofu quests feel really really rushed? Like I felt it got the Inazuma treatment. Like before one storyline could establish itself and sink in, we were already involved in a bunch of other things and other plots. Like I felt that they had a lot of ideas but had to string it together to form a singular plot.

Idk, I feel like I liked Jarillo story better as it felt well paced but I didn’t connect with any Jarillo characters. But with Luofu, I didn’t like the story but I liked the characters (cough cough Jing Yuan and Luocha (yeah I know he’s evil)). Man I went into Luofu quest thinking I’ll be a blade simp but ended up being a Jing Yuan simp instead. I am yet to play Blade’s quest (Kafka called me to help them but it��s literally 4am rn and I am like, Blade you will have to wait)

But long story short. I am going to be binging on your fics tomorrow and I am sooooo excited 🥰🥰🥰

RAHHHH NAT AM BLUSHING SO HARD GRRR i just woke up nngh good morning

also! for your question

you're kind of right? about the luofu arc, but honestly, it became less confusing BECAUSE of the detectives, the people who theorize and the overall fanarts/theories of the fandom who made the plot make more sense

if you're confused on some parts, i would love to indulge you in what i have information gathered (e.g. main points, species, jing yuan/blade/dan heng/jingliu relationship and things about the xianzhou luofu)

but! since im also done with the inazuma storyline, i can honestly say that i get what you mean? that the hyv didn't point out and explain too much about you know... stuff (like why blade is so damn obsessed with dan heng, more shit about the stellaron hunters n etc, aeons even!) but thats why fandoms exist! i dont even research much because i dont have time, but once i stumble upon a lore/fanart/or even drabble about something related to hsr, i just piece things myself, that and im a sucker for lore so i try to really understand things!

and the kafka companion quest

i found it funny and so- idk it makes you go blush BECAUSE of kafka, i dont wanna spoil but i hope you enjoy that specific quest! because it tells details about kafka's powers + we get a proper interaction with her finally (so i got to assess her whole personality n such for headcannons, example, in my herrscher of death!reader x hsr fic!)

oh and

i imagine you are swamped with irl things, juggling/grinding hsr and genshin, so starting honkai impact 3rd... it'll be so overwhelming for you (since i am, still trying to finish events) but if YOU decide to join in the honkai impact 3rd train as well, i will gladly, GLADLY help you and guide you with whatever you need!

hi3 is like, more combative, heavy HEAVY lore and we have characters over 50,000+ years old lmao, and actually, if you're familiar with the whole imaginary tree concept in hsr, you will eventually understand why ive decided to plan a honkai impact + hsr crossover series (because hyv makes it makes sense)

and with that

CANT WAIT TO HELP YOU IN ANY WAY YOU CAN ABOUT HSR!!!

and thank you hehe, i'm still revamping the nanook fanfic + creating multiple banners for our hsr men (but look at me create banners lovingly for scaramouche lmao)

OH AND since you're a jing yuan admirer, i assume you'll love my jing yuan works; "imperfections you loathe" and "a fourth wall break from the general" which! are in my hsr menu in my pinned 😌 i'm so excited that you caught up in hsr hehe

#💌 mailed to hiraeth #💌|·❍✧⃝·° H's recipient: teapartyspilled #🌹|·❍✧⃝·° H. — My Bouquets

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anti-bingusbongusbaba · 2 months ago

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You're literally a sick person, like, sick sick, I can imagine you don't have theraphy- or if you so you don't talk about what you're doing, or you're not talking about it honestly, me and my friends will be all the way there for him, cuz he has apologized, he avoided his victims and didn't apologize personally cuz most victims don't want their ex-abusers to approach them even if it's to apologize, he has gotten better, he is definitely touching more grass then you are and is generally more grounded to reality and life, he literally is kind enough to tell people not to harass you when you're doing everything you can to fuck him over, fuck your stupid pinned post "don't harass him" you're literally laughed at him being homeless for being queer, "he deserved it" he got kicked out for being queer, he deserved being kicked out for being queer? Think before you speak, you are sick, you make me feel sick.

He has repeated so many times that he has no issue with the callout, he is taking accountability and allowing people to make callouts if they want, he is keeping your names out of his mouth so no one else goes after you, he is telling people not to hate or mock you, he is being SO respectful and you paint each and every action as wrong because YOU made it clear you didn't mind breaking the law, are you dense? Are you seriously dense???? And when he doesn't start crying in your DMs as he's willing to talk shit out and is being calm, collected, polite and generally respectful, cuz you got literally nothing on it you try to paint it off as him being too cheery, dense much???

Like, that interaction alone, the fact you posted it as if he was doing something wrong by literally being just respectful to you imediedly says you are NOT here for the benefit of people, you and your friends are here for ego, you're making the callout for your egos, not for awareness, what's there to be aware about??? What's next, you're gonna say everyone who's been an ex drug addict should tell their new jobs they used to love cocaine??? This "awareness" does literally nothing if the person in question ISN'T A DANGER ANYMORE, this callout can't be for awareness or helping people stay safe, all it is, is a big fat obese whale sized ego boost.

Get help, go to a theraphist and tell em "hey I'm making an over 200 page long google doc about someone who literally has entirely changed and also mocking them for being homeless and claiming their disorders aren't real" and you'll quickly get told "um sweetie, alfun(or whatever your ugly ass irl name is), that's not healthy for anyone involved, tell me what makes you feel the need to do this? " CUZ YOU'RE BEING ABSOLUTELY INSANE

And yeah he told people not to mock or harass but when you guys literally are doing that constantly for no fucking reason it's hard not to do it for a legitimate understandable reason

Get a load of this guy.

(BTW I never claimed his disorders are fake idk where did you get that from)

#bingusbongusbaba callout #bingusbongusbaba #anon

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yunjitsu · 9 months ago

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Hey Jitsu! I hope you're doing well. I know this has nothing to do with your art but I saw in your pinned post that you're a graphic design student. Although it's not exactly what I want to pursue, I'm going to study it next year as well. I just wanted to know how long you're studying this degree/diploma for, what modules you do and how you're finding it! Sorry if this is a little personal or if you don't want to answer. I just wanted to get some insight before making the mistake of studying something I'll regret. I don't know many people irl who do graphic design :)

P.s. I absolutely love your art. Keep going and have a good one 🫶

Hiii there! Thank you for your mail, for loving my art and I'll be really happy to answer your questions in any way I can ❤️ I had the same exact questions before I attended my university for the first time.

First off - I live in Eastern Europe, so it might differ in your country, but I did study graphic design for three years to earn my first degree. Then I worked for some time in the commercial industry but moved on and decided to take up traditional art (with specialization in comics) because of my longing for more creative activities and to earn my second degree because I simply like to study. So, it's 2 more years of attending uni for me - I work on my thesis and final project rn which annoys the shit out of me because I have little to no time for creating my own fanart stuff :(

Second - I understand your feelings pretty well because I literally NEVER aimed to work in the graphic design industry too. BUT! It doesn't really mean you shouldn't pursue this way or at least try it. I did learn tons of useful stuff, studied modules like drawing, traditional painting, sculpting, animation, 3D modelling... but they weren't really the star of the whole subject. What they taught us the most about was stuff like commercial designs (logos, headers, posters, book covers, magazines etc.), also some illustrations & UI/UX/game design. I can definitely say you get to learn many softwares which is really useful, both for work and for your personal projects.

So, it depends what you're looking for tbh. You might get slightly disappointed because yes, they will teach you some straight up art stuff, but not too much, just basics to get a grasp of them and to be able to use them in the graphic design field - it is unless you get to choose your modules like concept art or digital painting specificially, but I didn't have such possibilities sadly.

So why did I study it? To secure my future I'd say, because they pay pretty well in the industry. It was a good start to my artistic adventure tool, and it made me yearn for more knowledge in terms of drawing and digital art - I was never the talented sort of kid so it helped me get through the first stages of learning things like colour theory or basic composition rules.

And why didn't I keep working in the industry? Because I just felt like it kinda drained off and worsened my creative side after some time. It had become a burden to just do one logo after another, then make some social media graphics or menus for restaurants. I wanted to draw stuff, colour it my way, and I wanted people to like the way I create without customers dictate me each and every detail of the commercials I had to obey and follow.

So, to sum it all up - I think you should try, it might develop your artistic side and it's always good to get to know various fields of artistic work and then focus on one or two things.

I hope I was able to help you in any way, I'm sorry if it's not clear enough because of my messy English D: I hope you enjoy your uni time next year!

#jitsu's mail time 💌

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stayxlix · 2 years ago

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hi hi alex🩵🩵 I am back once again! I'm still recovering from the fact that you actually ARE weaving some of the trope into otde.. LIKE HOLY SHIT AHAHWJWKWKEJSJ AND ANGRY PASSI0N YES I love that you think the same as i do bc everything u said is so true i can't😭

and you are so right, enemies to lovers on top! I also like a good portion of angst and tension ( angry love confessions are literally why i live and i would gladly die for them) but it has to have a happy ending tho.. like make me cry seventy times and go from wanting to jump off a bridge to cursing the characters BuT!!! gIVE ME A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!!

also, I've gotten settled in my new apartment almost completely, and i also moved to another town so i've also been taking care of that but so far it's amazing here!

And of course I love the way you write the tension between lix and mc! no seriously it's so fun to read and really engulf myself in the story (fantasising about otde may have or may have not became my fav way to relax/ get rid of some excessive stress) and it makes me even happier that the author of such a masterpiece finds time in her day to reply to my long ass rants and actually read through them!💗 Literally whenever I read your replies I always blush and squeal andbjqkqkqjwje (also thank u for the forehead kiss!🩵🩵🫶 sending one back ur way deatest)

ANDDDD I HAVE A SURPRISE!!! THE MOODBOARD IS HERE !!!!!

https://pin.it/261Fohe (if the link doesn't work lmk💗) IT HAS 52 PINS SO NOT TOO LONG AND I TRIED MIXING SOME DIFFERENT SHADES OF GREEN SO HOPEFULLY YOU'LL LIKE IT 🩵

Aand I'm so glad that you agree with me on Lix being dark red!! also i've been thinking and i feel like mc is the kind of green that kinda leans into blue? I'll try to find the shade and then share it with u!🫶 (bc of course I'm gonna share it with u I love talking to u like this sm omfg) i've already started on the red moodboard bc I got this surge of motivation yesterday at like four in the morning☠️

I'm honestly so so so so so excited not only for the next otde chap, but also for your response and to hear what you think about the moodboard! I tried to really show how I feel like when reading the story, though it's not exactly the way I see it since I couldn't find some specific pics on pinterest but I tried my best anyway! 💗 (also the Vans thing has been creeping up my mind lately and I have absolutely no idea why help - maybe it's bc I myself wear Vans and feel like the mc would wear them too😭)

You are making me blush so hard rn with the last paragraph omfg I love u sm😭😭 I am in all honesty so glad I've descovered you and your blog bc it's been seriously brightening my days by a LOT lately, so of course i'm gonna spend my time on it! I love making things related to otde and you!! Even more so if it makes you happy!🩵 you definitely deserve all the love in this world and i really hope you're having the best time of your life! Honestly, the longer your responses are, the better bc I love LOVE LOVE reading them and finding out your thoughts! I appreciate you so so much and, seriously, thank you for taking the time of your precious day and responding to me, love🩵💗

As always, stay safe and take care! 🩵 wish you the best week possible 🩵 (and did I ever mention that the way you write Felix makes him somehow just as attractive as irl and I have a fat crush on him...??)

hiiii my🩵 its so good to hear from youuu :) i know it can be scary moving to another town (i think i moved like four times by myself, including to two completely new cities before finding the place i am now) so im really glad you’re settling in and liking your new apartment🩵🩵🩵

i promise i plan to do my very best to weave our new favorite trope into the coming chapters🤭🩵 “angry love confessions are literally why i live” LMAO me with any form of media ever that includes romance😂😂 “cry seventy times” this made me laugh even harder, but im totally with you, i MUST have a happy ending to feel completely satisfied after reading/watching something. imo its what makes all of the angst and tension worth it in the end :)

“fantasising about otde may have or may have not became my fav way to relax/ get rid of some excessive stress”

noOoOoo babe this makes me SO happy to hear😭😭 you saying that my little story is a source of relaxation and stress relief for you is like the ultimate compliment, and i’m sure anyone who’s ever written anything for an audience before would agree🥹 it makes me even more happy to hear this because its YOU saying it and you have no idea how much i value your opinion😭 i swear after i read one of your asks it makes me feel so genuinely happy and full of energy that im pretty sure i could go out and run a marathon😂😂 it’s the best feeling ever, and you should know that i always find myself getting all flustered when i read your messages too, its like a big warm hug and i love it so very much💕💕

THE. MOODBOARD.

NO BECAUSE THIS DESERVES AN ENTIRE RANT OF ITS OWN I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN SEE HOW MUCH THOUGHT YOU PUT INTO IT BECAUSE EVERY PICTURE FITS THE STORY SO WELL😭😭😭 YOU WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND MY EXPECTATIONS😭 i wish you could have seen my reaction when i first opened the link, it is the PERFECT visual journey to accompany the story and i could actually CRY i can’t-😭😭😭 the shades of green you picked are gorgeous and the whole feel is a little bit ominous?? (maybe haunting??) idk the right word for it but it is the EXACT vibe i associate with the story while i'm writing, so you absolutely nailed it yet again. i wish we could go through and discuss every single picture and your thought process behind each (i’m serious, my dms are always open😂) and its hilarious that you started on the red moodboard at 4am but hey, inspiration strikes when it wants to, right?😂😂 dare i say i am even more excited to see how this one turns out?? (oh and i was thinking that our mc might wear red vans?? bc idk they remind her of felix???🤭)

i'm so thrilled to hear that you’re excited for the next chapter, ill let you in on a little secret..its coming along nicely, but the problem is that i’ve got waaayyyy too many words so far (help) and its not quite finished yet so i definitely need to condense lol but i’m realllllllyyyyy really hoping to have it out some time later next week (if all goes to plan🥹) and im just as excited to share it with you, so stay tuned🤭

thank you for being so wonderful 🩵🩵 your support and enthusiasm for this story and our conversations mean the world to me🥹 and i know i’ve said it before but you and the amazing content you have created and chosen to share with me is SUCH a source of motivation (i now find myself thinking about you when im writing and wondering if you'll like where the story is going or certain parts etc. etc.) because that is how much you and your interactions mean to me. you make all of the time spent on writing worth it and i am so very thankful to have you not only as a reader but also a friend<333

....OH and to hear that you have a crush on otde felix makes me SO giddy🤭🤭🤭 to be honest...for similar reasons..sometimes I need to take a break when im writing and remind myself that none of this is real (including our favorite angsty rebel boy🥹)

okay okay i think this officially takes the record for the longest rant ever written on this website, so i'll end things here lol. stay safe and take care of yourself out there🩵🩵let's finish out the week strong, okay?? sending the biggest hug your way🤗 ilysm💕💕

#otde.feedback #alex answers asks♡#🩵

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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 2 years ago

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i love my fans - trevor zegras

trevor zegras instagram au x f!author

fc: i tried to stick to zendaya but there weren't many pictures that could fit contextually

warnings: swearing + a confused non-nhl-fan-reader

liked by stephbohrer, zoeydeutch and 451,243 others

ynofficial: thank you to everyone who made it to the la signing in anaheim today, you're all so beautiful!! (p.s. the first two photos were from an interaction i had when this guy walked into my signing, stopped and said he was sorry but he was in the wrong place and walked back out with a crowd following him. i am very confused, but he was very polite about it all and honestly it was kind of hilarious. to them: i hope you found where you were meant to be and made it on time!) i love my fans

view all comments

fan1: omg no way that happened

fan2: you were beautiful too!

fan3: babe that's literally trevor zegras

ynofficial: who?

jamie.drysdale: trevorzegras humbling moment for you

liked by jhughes and 231,248 others

trevorzegras: met a lot of you today and had a lot of fun doing it ;) i love my fans but i do have to apologise for my lateness, i accidentally crashed a book signing and the author herself was incredibly understanding when i ran into her a couple of minutes ago! unfortunately she had to run and i never got her name but this was one of the two pictures i got before she left. help a guy out?

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jamie.drysdale: ynofficial

fan: not jamie doing the hard work and it going unnoticed

fan4: i feel like that's such a z thing of you to do

fan5: she's literally so fucking pretty

fan6: that's y/n l/n and i'm pretty sure you guys went to the same college at the same time

ynofficial: so this is trevor zegras? wow i get what you guys mean now

trevorzegras: i'm scared. who is 'you guys' and what did they mean?

fan7: i'm never going to recover from this

fan8: if this goes well this is one hell of a meet-cute

liked by monicabarbaro, devonleecarlson and 438,742 others

ynofficial: friends in la

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fan9: effective method in shutting down the rumours i'll give you that

fan10: trev being friendzoned made me laugh

fan11: they've literally only known each other a couple of weeks slow down

fan12: why is there a pin needle in your mug?

fan13: the flowers are gorgeous!

ynofficial: a little present for myself from myself ;)

liked by tterry199, lydianight and 183,868 others

trevorzegras: shenanigans

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fan14: trevor in his active era pop off king

fan15: it's the way every time he posts she's always in it

fan16: fr he's only active because she gives him something to post about

fan17: i know we don't ship people irl but i think i am rn

fan18: THEY MATCH EACH OTHER'S ENERGIES SO WELL

fan19: she took him on her tour??????? i'm sobbing

fan20: she looks so comfortable with him :)

liked by trevorzegras, pierregasly and 436,763 others

ynofficial: my time in la has been a whirlwind to say the least but this post goes out to trevorzegras and trevor zegras only. it took about three weeks for trevor to become my favourite person and now the thought of carrying on this tour without him is kind of daunting, but we move. i just wanted to say that i'm gonna miss him a lot. and that i'm starting to get the hang of this ice hockey thing.

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fan21: it's one am on a monday and you're making me cry already

fan22: STOP IT RN

fan23: idk nor do i care if they're dating but they're too cute not to be soulmates in some realm

fan24: i'm melting with the way he looked at her in the 2nd pic

fan25: wife him up immediately that man is whipped

liked by ynofficial, jamie.drysdale and 153,285 others

trevorzegras: as much as i want you to stay with me in la, i know you need to carry on being the incredible writer and human being you are. just know that you'll always be welcome to stay with me when you come back. i'm so unbelievably proud of my favourite person.

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fan26: just get married already

fan27: this is killing me

fan28: it's the way they look at each other it's sending me into cardiac arrest

fan29: she's just honestly breathtaking

liked by trevorzegras

jhughes: i'm not saying anything

liked by colecaufield, _quinnhughes and 212,863 others

trevorzegras: your favourite hooligans reunited and took NYC by storm

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fan30: THEY LOOK SO HAPPY

fan31: you can tell it's been a long 5 months for them both

jamie.drysdale: fucking finally

fan32: jamie's been through something there

fan33: please never keep them apart again

tagged: trevorzegras

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes and 532,974 others

ynofficial: fuck soft launches and all that jazz. this my man

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tagged: ynofficial

liked by ynofficial, deuxmoi and 281,235 others

trevorzegras: i love my fans (a whole damn lot)

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ynofficial: smug bastard

jamie.drysdale: that's what i've been trying to tell you

#trevor zegras social media au #trevor zegras x reader #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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wafflebloggies · 2 years ago

Text

10. a heap of broken images

back - next “So, Mark, this is Jared…”

Mark, it had to be said, did not look as if a large, near-invisible shadow-creature looming up out of the darkness and regarding him with a trio of eyes like the functional parts of a red-hot gas stove was a welcome addition to the list of concepts he was already struggling to grasp. He stared up at Jared in speechless silence, and when Jared’s eyes gave a friendly tilt, dropped several feet and whipped towards him, he sucked in a breath so sharp that Antonio was concerned he might have inhaled his own tongue.

“Look who it is! Double-M-hockey-sticks! It’s cool, we go waaaay back.”

“Uh?” managed Mark.

“Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, I’ve been watching you for what, like, a year now?”

Mark made a noise.

“Gotta say, you’re taller IRL,” said Jared, happily. “Probably a perspective thing, right? Also way better res, which, like, no joke, literally every single cam in your house is ANCIENT at this point. Stone age. I kept bugging ya boy to replace them- no hate, ‘Tone- I was like, hey, I’m just your eye in the sky here, it’s not like I can just snap my fingers and your actual hardware gets upgraded with the power of heart or whatever. But he was always like... oh, hey, you good?”

This last, because Mark had just sat down suddenly with a thump, his knees having apparently decided they were even less keen on the way this conversation was going than the rest of him.

“It’s okay, Mark,” said Antonio, coaxingly. “Jared monitors all the hosts, twenty-four-seven. It wasn’t just you.”

When Mark finally found his voice, it was quite a lot shriller than usual. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

Antonio thought about it, reaching for Mark’s backpack, which had fallen off his shoulder as they’d scrambled inside the door. “I mean, yeah, it was, but I guess I can see why it doesn’t. Jared, hey, uh… I know this is kind of a big ask, but…”

Popping the inner zip, he upended the backpack over the nearest free desk. With a slithering scuffle of plastic wrappers, a small landslide of bright packages and baggies slid and tumbled over each other into a rough pile on the dusty melamine surface.

“We need a way out.”

Jared’s eyes gleamed. A long slender thing, like a steely finger with far too many joints, snickered indistinctly past Mark’s ear and pinned one of the little packets (a crowded graphic-design abomination, featuring sugegasa-wearing cows somersaulting cheerfully through flames), whipping it up into the shadows.

“Buddy, just call me Healthy Community, because I have got you COVERED.”

–-

Where there was a will- and an entire bodega rack’s worth of premium dried beef products- it turned out there was a way.

Jared called them dead zones. The cameras covered almost everywhere within the HR Department, Jared’s endless ranks of shiny black eyes, in corners, in ceilings, down blind alleys and empty rooms and well-trodden corridors, but with care and a little assistance to even out the odds, a path could be walked between them. The places between were cramped and confusing and nearly as difficult to travel as they would have been to find without Jared’s help. They were not the safest places, even within this hungry, malignant landscape, and they certainly weren’t the easiest to explain.

Here was a well of dank air, some fifty feet across, stirred in a slow, endless spiral by the movement of some enormous fan or turbine, deep enough below that it was far out of sight of any travellers along the narrow path that spanned it, a clanking catwalk of green steel. Condensation dripped from the pale heights, made the metal slimy underfoot.

Mark managed a couple of wobbly steps out over the void, then slid to his knees against the spindly safety rail, a sad arrangement of metal rods and chickenwire which overall came off as less of a barrier than a polite suggestion. Antonio, following with a surer step, resisted the urge to hook a fistful of the back of his sweater, just in case. He didn’t think Mark was likely to actually pitch himself over the railing, but he did appreciate that the last twenty or so minutes had been quite a lot for any human to handle.

“Hang in there, Mark,” he said, brightly. His voice echoed, a thin distant relay pattering back to them through the slow whirlpool of air. “Not much further.”

Mark forced his hands wordlessly through his hair, found a squashed fragment of delicate orange wing stuck somewhere over his ear, and flicked it away from him in disgust.

“Uh, yeah, sorry about the butterflies,” said Antonio. “Honestly, they’re usually pretty chill, I’ve never seen them just go for the eyes like that.”

Words weren’t evading Mark, but the ability to put more than two of them next to each other in a coherent sentence seemed to be. “That- the- why-” A struggle. “Why a horse??”

“It’s just a horse, Mark,” said Antonio, testing the railing before leaning his elbows on it, like a casual sightseer above Niagara Falls.

Mark clearly felt this wasn’t enough information. He made another struggle with his hands, shaping a sort of invisible sculpture on the theme of horror, bewilderment, and indignation, a shape that cut off sharply in the middle, and then squeezed both palms into his eyesockets, speaking indistinctly through his fingers.

“Just a- just- where’s the rest of it??”

“Do you think that’s really an important question right now?” asked Antonio. He meant it as a reasonable, honest query, but Mark only fixed him with a baleful eye through the gap in his hands, and said nothing.

They moved on. Through the empty hallways, through Jared’s dead zones, through a scorched and blackened sector where quite a mess had been made and the cameras still hung obliterated from the walls, Mark stayed silent. To Antonio, there was something puzzling- increasingly worrying- about this measured silence, and he didn’t think it was just the influence of his own quietly screaming nerves. He was good at reading Mark, even when he was at his most impenetrable, and he recognised this feeling of grim, plodding pertinacity that was coming off him in waves. This was Mark doing something he didn’t want to do- something he knew had no good object, no good ending- something he knew had to be done, regardless. He might as well have been making a video reading hate-comments, or cutting up raw liver, or any other uncongenial, unrewarding task demanded of him by the Muse. He looked as sullen and morose as ever, trailing along after Antonio as they travelled slowly through the safer zones of the HR Department. The nearest he got to an energetic reaction to anything on their long walk was a slight flinch and glance back as they heard the dogs pass distantly down a blind turning, the heavy patter of claws, the hungry, cheated howls.

Finally, the Long Egress. Jared had explained, in the vague way in which Jared tended to explain anything, that this seemingly endless grey concrete tunnel had been put in place as a sort of evacuation line, a last-ditch way back to the outside world. Walking it, Antonio wondered if the original architect might have planned on using it themselves, since it was quite clear that nobody else ever had. Whoever had designed the vast building that housed HR, if they had been human, it was a fairly safe assumption to make that they hadn’t done it entirely of their own free will.

It’s best to avoid asking questions or looking at things you aren’t authorised to see.

The bulkhead lights set into the walls every hundred yards or so created pale dim pools of light like so many oases, leading them from one to the next, all the way down the long last straight. Down here, even the lights were caged.

It’s all in my head, and I shouldn’t worry about it.

Antonio felt that they had been walking for years by the time they reached the end. His shoes had run out of moisture and left no prints on the scratchy poured concrete. Every step he took felt leaden, a further pull away from something dragging gently at him, something hooked into his heart-roots, difficult to ignore. They had been walking in silence, the only sounds the scrape and echo of their steps, the thick electric hum of the lights, a quieter low static buzz that seemed to live in the walls, and Mark’s difficult breathing and occasional hitching cough. Antonio didn’t mind these noises, as it made it easy for him to know that Mark was still behind him.

No ceremony, no fanfare, just a flat final wall that grew slowly from a pale dot to a short grey oblong as they walked towards it, a last pool of light, the long hallway terminating in a single pale grey door. Someone with a sense of humour had screwed a sign to it, an ordinary industrial yellow-and-black safety sign that read DANGER – KEEP OUT. Someone else had scrawled underneath; IT’S SCARY OUT THERE.

Antonio put a hand on the door, which had a thick push-bar, wreathed in old cobwebs and cranky with disuse. He looked back, and saw that Mark had stopped a little way back along the hallway and was just standing there in the last-but-one pool of light, looking at him.

“Mark? This is it, buddy, come on.”

Mark coughed, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and didn’t move.

“Mark?” Antonio stepped away from the door. As he moved towards Mark, Mark stepped back, mirroring him. He put a hand to the strap of his backpack, gripping it like a rosary, and suddenly Antonio felt a cold and eerie twinge of deja vu, of a week ago, of standing in the soft-lit hallway with Be Joyful Always, Pray Continually over his head as Mark begged him in a quiet, frantic monotone, pleaded, promised anything for his freedom.

I've done everything you've asked. You can have my channel, my house... just let me go.

Just now, it looked as if nothing could have been further from Mark’s mind.

“You must think I’m pretty fucking stupid,” he said.

Antonio stopped. The bug in his middle, which had been quiet for a time, stirred restlessly as he looked across the distance between them into Mark’s sharp, careworn face.

“So what is it?” Mark put out a hand and rested it against the concrete wall, either to take some of his weight or to reassure himself it was there. The flat light cast stark double-shadows, Antonio’s own falling across the door at his back and stretching down the hallway towards Mark, Mark’s slanting away as if it was shrinking from his. “What’s the trick? Because this whole ‘super secret escape’ thing is getting really old now. Maybe I’d have fallen for it when I was five but if you think I believe you’re just going to let me walk out of here, that sludge in your head must be way past expiry.”

“Mark, you have to trust me,” said Antonio. “I’m- I’m just trying to help you.”

Mark blinked a couple of times, grinned at him, in the same way skulls grinned, nothing behind it but a vacant stretch of teeth. Whether Antonio had struck a nerve, or Mark had just reached some internal breaking point, he dropped his hand from the wall and started walking forwards.

“Trust you. Trust you? You, and that- that thing in my basement- my muse-”

The sheer amount of pure spitting venom he managed to inject into one syllable was astonishing.

“-you’re the same. You’re the same thing, you’re just a- a part of that fucking blob that can walk around and look like a person. I knew that as soon as you first showed up- you think I’m going to trust you now?” He stopped, almost face to face with Antonio, his fear and aversion and bitter anger struggling with each other in his face, his hands curled around his backpack in front of him as if it was a shield.

“Mark, I- I’ve felt- I’ve been-”

Now it was Antonio’s turn to struggle. His chest was crawling, the heat in his face and hands rising, the difficulty squirming under his skin pushing him not to shut Mark up or stop him being a problem but to explain, to try to dispel the terrible disdain in Mark’s eyes. He stumbled on, aware his voice sounded choked and strange, terribly afraid to keep going but far, far more afraid to stop.

“When you were gone, I… I started to feel... different. I’ve been feeling... really weird. Mark, I have… thoughts that don’t make sense- sometimes I don’t want things to happen even though I know I should, I don’t want to do things I know I have to do- I think there’s something wrong with me. No, I- I know there is.” He held out his hands, open, pleading. “I don’t know what happened, but I- I know somehow, it started because of you.”

He swallowed.

“I’m different, I’m different to how I was, because of you. And I want to- I want to be a good friend, Mark. I’m doing this because I… I want to help you.”

“Bullshit,” said Mark.

Oh, it felt cold, it felt freezing cold in his guts and it hurt, and maybe this was how come humans could hurt each other so easily, that Mark could take every honest, vulnerable word he’d pulled painstakingly out of the core of him, these fragile little things ripped out of their shell new and raw and utterly defenceless, and hurl them so easily right back in his face. Antonio felt them start to shrivel and die in the chasm between them, but he kept quiet and just looked at Mark, who was knotting his fists in the fabric of his backpack, his jaw set hard, mouth slightly open, eyes hot and full of contempt.

“Mark,” he tried, “please, you have to-“

“No, I don’t. I actually fucking don’t, I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to believe a single word you say. I listened to you for a year. I let you manipulate me, I danced like your fucking puppet, I did everything you wanted, for a year. I let-” He bit the word off.

“Mark, I haven’t even known you for a y-“

“Shut up,” said Mark, his voice deadly and as flat as the lights. “You can’t hurt me anymore. Not with my- my mom, not with-” He stopped himself again, his mouth working. “There’s nothing left, the only thing you have on me is this- this shit inside of me, this-” He let the pack dangle to the bruised fold of his elbow and held out his arms, wordless, the flat bulkhead light ghastly on his darkened veins, the black splatters of the dog’s blood and his own still staining the front of his ruined sweater. “This- this infection, this mold, I- I can feel it, I hear it in my head-” He shuddered, furiously, helplessly. “If- if you wanted to help me you’d get rid of it but you won’t, you won’t because the only thing you want is to keep me, keep stringing me along for whatever sick fucking plan-”

“Okay, but I’d need to touch you.”

“-shut up- whatever sick- whatever-” Mark seemed to hit a kind of a glitch, sticking like a scratched-up record and stopping in place. He blinked a little volley of dazed blinks, a rapid-fire Morse code message of utter confusion. “What?”

“Here,” said Antonio, holding out his hands. “I think I can do it, at least I can try. It’s just, you told me not to touch you.”

Mark stared at him in disbelief, his hands falling to his sides. He looked poleaxed. The backpack slipped gently down his arm, dropping to the ground at his feet, but he made no sign he even noticed.

“And you listened??”

For the first time, Antonio saw with stark clarity the shape of himself as he must have appeared to Mark through the past almost-year. A looming shadow, a threatening, suffocating, hounding, malicious, grinning thing that never rested and never relented, if the deal Mark had made with his Muse was a poisoned spring, Antonio had been the hand forcing him under the rank surface, forcing him to drink until he drowned.

Months too late, without words to even form the idea, he was desperately sorry. The thing in his chest- bug, alien, sickness or mistake- it was his, his guilt, his to fight and deny or accept, and for once, the choice was his own.

“I know I don’t have any right to ask you to trust me.” He kept holding out his hands, palms up, looking into Mark’s face where incredulity was fighting a pitched battle with something else, something Antonio wasn’t sure he’d ever seen there before.

“Please, Mark,” he said, quietly. “Just let me try.”

The lights hummed, the walls buzzed. Mark stood still in silence for so long that Antonio started to wonder if he’d frozen again, but at last he started to move. There was no great change in his expression, no lessening of the fear in his eyes or the clear mistrust in the thin downwards line of his mouth. As he moved, it seemed to be in spite of himself than out of any thinking, reasoning decision.

Slowly, without looking away from Antonio’s face, Mark lifted his hand and reached out.

#muse arg #dftm #don't feed the muse #mark mayhew #antonio geist #alex bale #jared the IT guy #my writing #the cynical critic #this part kicked my ass

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