#i literally got jumpscared and havent been okay since.

[baeshijima]

yknow

when i saw this i was squealing bc yknow. caleb. but now that ive finished chapter 4 i havent stopped crying 🧍‍♀️

[enlighten3d]

LISTENING TO FILE 10 OF THE TRAIN TO CALECO HILL. BE WARNED !! SPOILERS AHEAD!!

will be editing the post instead of reblogging o7

liveblog below the cut (:

oh no. medical room. why.

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NOOO HIS LEGS. get a fucking mobility aid. (prolly wouldnt have helped in this case lmao)

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YES BE MAD AT HER. THATS SO FUCKING VALID OF YOU.

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the monster WAS her wasnt it...

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yeeessss tash yesssss recognise the faults in relationships you fucking deserve to be mad. you fucking deserve it. yes.

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relatable, tash. relatable. i cant remember anything either 👍

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NO YOU HAD IT BEFORE. YOU BROUGHT CEDRIC ON THE TRAIN W YOU, TASH... THE TRAIN IS FUCKING W YOU.. how well do you remember the station, tash... you havent mentioned any of the ppl you knew since.. file 2 or 3..... love are you okay.

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THE TRAIN IS HIS HOME HE BELONGS HERE 💥 (for now)

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gods tash sounds so. different this episode. i mean this in the way that hes finally fed up and. hes at the end of his tether. and. whndkxjksdkssjdjf hes. this is good, this is fascinating...

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this guy needs a shock blanket

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this guy also needs friends

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HE ALSO NEEDS TO NOT DIE AND END UP AT CALECO HILL - (/theory)

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ooohh the dream changed...

oh thats ominous. different colours?? does that indicate a... Change of some sort? it rly feels like it does.... man.

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you know who can see (or at least are sensitive to it) ultraviolet light? axolotls. (/j. axolotl tash propaganda /silly)

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WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY THAT WAS A SLIGHT JUMPSCARE

what the fuck was that

HI OWL GIRL

wait

wait

wait

wait

wait

ait

wait

IS TASH GETTING A MOBILITY AID?? FINALLY???????? AUWBFHZHDNDNZUDIAIDJDKSKCJDJ????????

oH MY GODS

i AM OVERJOYED. ‼️‼️‼️

WEIRD CREEPY NOISES INCE THE DOOR OPENS BUT HES GOT A CANE GUYS AAAAAJSHDNFKF

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SPINDLY LEGS?? WHAT??? WHDJSKFHSJ??

oh he does not trust owl girl anymore

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.spooky. spooky cane... monster cane... oh i love that...

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GLOWING. G L O W I N G

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ALBER!! SPOOKY MONSTER GLOWING CANE HAS A NAME!!!

please do be aware that figg 100% named that after their own cane (which is named albert)

AAAA TASH HAS A MOBILITY AID IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM ‼️‼️‼️

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ahajdjs "please stop glowing.." mate i dont think it will...

i love spooky glowing cane

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exactly the right height... alber i love you you are magical (literally)

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THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO, TASH. NO SOUND OF THE TRAIN ROLLING. READ MY FUCKING MIND AHDJJDD

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WHAT IS W H A T. TASH. TASH.

book??????? BOOOK????

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owl girl kleptomaniac moment

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FAMILIAR?? oh this is not gonna go well.

diary. diary. oh no. ohhh boy. habdjfkd

its his isnt it. it is. isnt it. a.

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june 20, 2019. anna. naming things. this is tash. leave where.the station, right??

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FOREST?? TOWN?? is. is this village tash theory. please say it is. a.

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nooo its not ): its rhe Station (which was also a thought that i had so)

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itttsss tash. his diary. before he forgor

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"hello again, anna" ITS EXACTLY HOW HE SAYS HI TO CEDRIC EVERY TIME AA

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RENÉE MENTION ‼️‼️ wow its been a while

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fuck, tash is desperate to have someone care abt him ):

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cody and lana... more mentions...

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The Train

oh gods. oh gods he does not sound okay. tasshhhh ):

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OH GODS, ME JUMPSCARE- i forgot that my voice is gonna be in this lmao

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lana time [:

(hi its me im lanas va lmao)

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AAND IT JUST ENDS?? OH BOY SHFNDJ

AAAAA OKAY THAT WAS. A LOT. HOLY FUCK???

okay so. recap of what happened: tash is not dead, hes pissed at owl girl (rightfully), the dream Changed, he got a spooky cane named alber (‼️‼️‼️), owl girl gave him his diary and hes Remembered things, lana showed up, theres someone named mr 22

ouhh boy this sure was a finale

THE CLIFFHANGER WHYYYYYYYYY (i fully knew this was coming lmao)

AWHDHSKFUJSNDJANFBANDIXHSJJRKWDK HOW AM I MEANT TO GO TO SCHOOL TMRW WITH ALL THIS BRAINROT

[bubblesthetherapyfish]

(6.5 spoilers) oh no i had to stop grinding island levels to do msq

i got pound cake to eat and it's too hot in my room let's go

hey guys i forgot you all existed until now

oh right we literally did nothing last time

that's a doohickey

dude how do you make pound cake so SALTY

tiny orb!!!

allagan balls always make me happy

who died making the orb animation

aww the way y'shtola looks at the orbs

fuck it we ball is kinda how we do things around here anyway

ESTINIEN IS ALLOWED TO TALK FINALLY

oh no we're putting her in a jar

estinien do you think .

it's okay y'shtola i go there all the time for mats

what if i had zero and a bunch of orbs in my inventory during this section that would be neat

hi moren

UNUKALHAI MENTION

is because i did my role quests or does this happen normally i can't remember unukalhai's msq status

hello daughter

women in stem

YES DESTROY THE ECONOMY WITH COFFEE BISCUITS AGAIN

unbottled zero

i missed beq lugg's voice they're so snuffly

man it's been so long since i've heard "fitting payment"

zero you can't just tell people to eat you

HEY DON'T PLAY THAT SONG

HEY STOP THAT

the sky....

THERE YOU ARE!!!

oh right i was lowkey thinking hey isn't this just using the garlemald tower 2 or something ?

are we visiting the chais again 🥺

yay!!!

see we just have to warn them in advance that a really loud sound is gonna play on everyone's phone at around 2pm est i mean uh

she misses alphy :(

ryne and gaia visit the city together ;-;

walking up to random people and traumadumping

holy shit i got jumpscared by the giant fucking talos

back the next day this time with a chicken pot pie

it tastes like beans.... and not good beans :(

/hattip

back again on day 3 because i literally did nothing yesterday

hi runar 🥺

wait i wanted to get dunked too :((((

/hattip

zero is like a cat not in like the stereotypical way but in that she's so very particular about things at times

the very slight shocked face wol has when their phone rings is very relatable

what are you DOING

why would you DO THAT

^me every day @ my cat which proves my point

okay but why did you do that

it is really nice that she now very clearly wants to save the 13th

woman hot 😳....

i love npcs looking at wol like when you look at your mom after the doctor asks you a question

ryne's little wave ;-;

loporrits on the phone: heLPPPPPPP

HIGH TREASON

warrior of light and darkness 2!!!

im gonna have the estinien "holy shit two cakes!" attitude about this

wait holy shit you can change text color like, just by clicking it?

how long has this been here

hehehe

anyway

i..... did the writers forget y'shtola's blind again....

i hope y'shtola can see her funny lil guy again soon

imagine casually saying you'll fly up to the moon in a conversation

wtf was that noise

yay the anxiety theme!!!!!!

where the fuck were you hiding that body vrtra

the pretty light....

do i have the coordination for a dungeon tonight let's see

yeah i got questions for that fucker too zero

ah organ

that's a monkey

bro i don't FUCKING UNDERSTAND these tells

WHA

WHAT

this is FREAKY

targetable stone pillars 🤔

*dies immediately*

wait does zero not limit break?

i feel like i havent seen her do one?

oh-

what da hELLLL

thanks for the spiritbond durante

this hallway is so pretty

heyyyyyyy

imagine if golbez just goes sure yeah let's do your way actually

ah iggy moment

was that .

ohh uhhhh yeah that was fandaniel's fault

/hattip

into the dark

HEY

5v5?

FUCKING JUMP IN THE HOLE I GUESS

LB FIGHT LB FIGHT

where the fuck am i

oh it's a square arena this time

fruit gummy time

oh

WHAT

THE FUCK

i can't do the trial tonight but holy shit i want to

who the fuck composed this i need to know

the cracks are all around i wonder if they'll get bigger as the trial goes on

holy shit this music is so WEIRD it's amazing

hey that was the most terrifying shit i've seen

i feel like i just

HAHAHAHA I CALLED IT

oh no zero is a black mage now

get up girl we're not losing another ffxiv woman

me hopping in the back during a quiet cutscene

WHOA

bro i was too out of it to even notice the moon peeking through the tears

zero's smile is so sweet now 🥺

LITTLE DRAGON

LITTLE DRAGON

YIPPEEE

SHE'S SO CUTE

oh good we're not just leaving varshahn in there dklfgjdk

she sit on him head

unless something really stupid happens in the next 10 minutes im really happy zero lives and can be a new recurring character

y'shtola normal woman moments

the shared look with estinien

me when hildibrand noises

she gave zero a pet nixie awww

I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU *kills zenos again*

i hope we see her again soon i love her so much...

jammingway mention 🥺

i love completing things and its acknowledged

go take a nap right fucking now!!!!!

not the theme.....

FREE FOOD ?

oh help i can actually say that 😭

feo ul was watching? 👉🏾👈🏾

noooo she isn't women in steming anymore

WHA

YOU

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE

oh she's so weird i missed her

HE'S FINE WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS

helppppppp

bro has no fucking social skills

small vrtra

final cutscene time

ooo that's gonna be interesting to think about until 7.0...

eh????

oh you!

what are you back here for ??

catboy stance

i am too tired to form thoughts about how i feel about this but i sure had fun

goodnight 🛏️

[theworldsoul]

Sorry guys, I'm gonna vent Again, so if you don't want to read it just feel free to skip this post

Okay so basically we have a Gecko. Don't ask, that's another story for another time. My dad has grown fond of it, and I used to think he was cool until a specific day. On that say I fed him worms with a tweezer. When I picked them up, I could PHYSICALLY FEEL THEIR PAIN. I dont really know what happened there, but I physically felt their pain and i squeezed them. My dad said, "squeeze harder, do it by the head", and i tried it and i felt a jolt of pain... I told myself "you are just imagining the pain, its okay" but then when I looked back at the worm, squirming and struggling... I connected some dots in my brain and this hard realization came upon me, that I was causing this poor creature pain. I began to cry and my dad had to feed the gecko that day. Ever since then I havent interacted with the gecko because every time I do it freaks me out a bit. I dont really understand what happened that time but I want to forget about it before I go near the gecko again. I've been trying to get closer to him but I always freak out.

So today I was on my computer, right? Drinking a tea. Trying to feel peaceful. Then all of a sudden my dad is there, all happy with the gecko, and I go "oh hi!!!" Because I am under the impression that the gecko will stay ON HIS HAND. Of course I'm wrong. My dad encourages him to go onto the table to see me. I EXPECT the gecko to walk onto the table and towards me, but TO MY SURPRSISE, the gecko basically jumpscares me by suddenly jumping from his hand onto and nearby watterbottle. I jump a bit, startled, and I spill tea all over my computer, the table, and my sleeve. As I'm processing what happened I'm overtaken by fear and I begin to cry.

Of course I'm fine and I'm just overreacting, but I was scared. I wasnt hurt, my computer mousepad barely works now but I wasnt hurt. So why was I so scared of a little gecko? I dont know. So I'm crying and trying to clean up the mess of tea everywhere and my dad is mad at me for spilling my tea and he asks why I did that and I tell him that I was scared since it jumped so suddenly, yknow I wasnt expecting it. I dont remeber his exact words but it was soemthing about me being 15, like "oh well since you're 15 now you should grow the fuck up" basically. Then he left. Like???? I am literally trying to get my breathing back to a normal pace because I'm SCARED, I was just JUMPSCARED, and you get MAD AT ME??? YOUR CHILD IS FUCKING SCARED AND YOU JUST LEAVE THEM?? the whole time I was cleaning I could hear him in the other room talking to the gecko, all carefree and happy... while I did my best not to cry. Damn okay. It almost made me feel like I was below human.

Usually this wouldnt be such a big fucking deal, but I'm an emotional person. And also I notice that,,, whenever my sister is scared they lunge at the chance to help her feel safe again. It's like they hate me specifically.

I know I'm making a big deal out of something that is really not a big deal. Really all that happened was a little gecko jumped and I got scared. I'm overdoing it. But that's just how I am now. I really don't want to believe that I'm broken or anything, but fuck i think i genuinely am messed up if stupid shit like this makes me freak out... reminder that this all began with EMPATHIZING WITH A FUCKING MEALWORM. I'm jsut so fucking broken. And in the moments I was left alone to console myself as quietly as possible so as not to make anyone angry, I felt my body become possessed with another soul.

This happens sometimes, where I will sorta have the mindset of a child. I force it sometimes to cope, but other times it happens on it's own whenever I feel unloved or otherwise bad like this. I'm not too sure if this is a normal thing. But I describe it as possession. The fact that that event made me get possessed is kinda a big deal. Usually that only happens at REALLY BAD THINGS.

But this wasn't really bad... I'm just being sensitive and overdoing it.

Honestly my parents are right... I really do need to grow up. But I think I have something wrong with me, with my brain, because there are just so many things about this story that are so... wrong. Like, what sort of person freaks out and cries for an hour because they got jumpscared? What sort of person then has their body SWITCH SOULS because they feel like their parents dont love them? WHAT SORT OF PERSON EMPATHIZES WITH A WORM??? it's all so weird. Like, who knows, maybe my parents arent that bad, maybe I'm just like... weird. I'm totally overdoing this. I'm totally overdoing this. I'm making such a big deal out of it... but I cant help it. That's just my emotions.

Shit, I should really get a therapist. All the ones I've been to so far tell me my emotional reactions are totally normal but THIS DOESNT SEEM FUCKING NORMAL TO ME. I've overreacted to shit my whole life. It's not. Helpful.

On another note, I notice that my crying doesnt induce a "concern" reaction in my father. It induces an "anger" reaction. They arent bad people, I just... I'm beginning to think they really fucking hate me.

They have all the reaosn to, but a lot of those reasons are things that couldve been fixed early on if the adults around me cared about my feelings enough to try to sort them out. It's been fifteen years and now I'm fucked up. Irreversible. Just. So.. so fuckinf damaged. I dont think I'll ever be normal. And I hate ft. But it cant happen.

Soemtimes I think it was a bad idea to choose to live after the party. It was the perfect time to die and I told myself no, dont do it. It was... perfect. Calling to me. I think it was my destiny to die that day. I think that now I am cursed since I dodged my destiny.

I try not to think that way. I tell myself that I am going to change so much. I tell myself that my passion will be my strength. But the way my life is going, it really doesnt feel like I will become anything good.

I'm failing my classes. They KNOW about my soul shifting. I cry too much. All I ever do is draw STUPID FUCKING DRAWINGS and play STUPID FUCKING MUSIC and play fashion designer in my room stitching things up... fucking hell. They're right to hate me. I'm a failure. But they're also wrong to hate me. A lot of the things they dont like about me are things that are THEIR FAULT.

Man, I dont even know what to think anymore. All I really ever wanted was their love. But it's impossible for me to get it now, so I should just forget about it. I cant though. It plagues me. The thought that they hate me. It hurts me. And when its confirmed to me... i'm sorry. All I ever do is complain about the most mundane bullshit ever. My parents are proabbly actually good people I'm just overdoing it because I'm I'm proabbly mentally ill or soemthing. And I'm a failure anyways so I cant fucking blame them for not liking me that much anwyays. God, fifteen is very old. And I'm a boy. I hate to say it but they're right. Fuck, they're right. I cant be crying... I'm so oversensitive. But wait, why am I trying so hard to justify their ideas? ITS BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY CONDEMNING THEIR ACTIONS. WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY. goddamn it...

I dont know how I'm gonna fix this though. I kinda wish my parents would treat me with the softness that I NEED, that my mind NEEDS and has needed for a while now, but I know that wont happen and really I'm just this overgrown child thing and oh fuck I wonder who's fault that is??? Cos it isn't all on me. Oh shit, now I'm scared. If I get a bad mark on my test my parents will freak out. I think I'm going to cry again. Fuck man, I try my hardest, it's just I'm literally defective. I cant do any better. I've been set up to fail anyways. Fuck. I just... I dont know, I wish things were different.

This is stupid and I'm being stupid and freaking out over one little thing. Fuck.

[tumblunni]

...i have never been less hype and i hate it

i feel really guilty for not being happy when i mean these games are very pretty and all but all of it just seems to not be grabbing my happy when i got myself SO HYPED for the unlikelihood of something better

like man COME ON

come on man

TWELVE YEARS

almost 13!

sinnoh was fuckin due for a remake back when sun and moon got announced

ive been getting hype and dissappointed at every single goddamn announcement nintendo’s ever made for the last 4 years or so and it never happens and yet they keep teasing it why are there so many official tweets teasing sinnoh if its not fuckin happening im starting to lose hope that it will happen EVER

twelve. fucking. years.

like man we’re almost due for a goddamn unova remake by now!

like man fucking kanto got TWO REMAKES already

like man SINNOH IS THE REGION THAT MOST ACTUALLY NEEDS A REMAKE

its not just im nostalgic its that i want desperately for the generation i love to get any goddamn recognition at all. fuckin gold and silver were already beloved as the best generation even before their remake. ruby and sapphire got some unfair hate for the no transfer between games thing but that died immediately after the first remake happened. neither of them were in this unique situation where they were fuckin DEAD ON ARRIVAL and waiting TWELVE YEARS for resuscitation!

sinnoh failed ENTIRELY not on its lack of appeal as a generation but because of goddamn CONSOLE LIMITATIONS

it was slow, it was buggy, it had buddy green brown palettes, the wifi didnt work. all problems with it being an experimental first ds game by the company. it was fuckin HATED as the WORST GENERATION for so many years and it wasnt its goddamn fault and like seriously its only even become TOLERATED again because of this ‘sinnoh confirmed’ meme that NINTENDO FUCKIN REFERENCES AS IF THEYRE GONNA ACTUALLY DO IT ANY TIME IN THE NEXT DAMN DECADE

fuck i was more hyped for lets go than i am for this. like a second kanto remake was the thing i hated the most but at least it seemed original enough with the goofy new minigame for catching and loads of nice reveals like the return of following pokemon and stuff. this trailer didnt really say anything except hey its a new region hey the starters look generic as fuck. nothing to mitigate the dissappointment

and i feel AWFUL cos i know rationally that this is a great pretty game and nothing about it is actually bad yet and my only complaint is that i only like one out of three starters when i felt the same way about sinnoh itself. its just that feeling ‘meh its probably okay’ isnt what i hoped for. i hoped even if it wasnt what i wanted itd be something else equally as hype? just ‘meh’ has turned into ‘oh god no’ cos man ive been up for 48 hours getting hype for this shit why the fuck am i unable to not get hype even though i KNOW every goddamn time its a dissappointment and it has been for years and it will continue to be every goddamn time

like the highlight of the video was ‘oh an underground area maybe at least theyll bring back the sinnoh underground minigame in another country’

also.. uhh.. bags? i like the protagonist designs a lot and im happy to have the hiker bags cos srsly if i was in pokemon world i would absolutely want to go 100% ham in all ways possible AS YOU CAN SEE BY HOW I CONSTANTLY GET MYSELF TOO HYPED AND ALWAYS DISSAPPOINT MYSELF

and GOD i know im being predictable and i know that probably when i let the grumpiness wear off and get a few hours of sleep i’ll rewatch this and actually be able to notice all the lil details and get properly hype about things and probably by then we’ll know what country its meant to be based on and more info and stuff. like LOL i almost had a heart attack when there was some generally industrial looking stuff and a big ben esque clock tower like im sorry no i REALLY dont want poke-britain even though im british. its like the most cliche generic idea for a region and following on from a great region that gave representation to a nation historically mistreated by britain and america im kinda like hey can we not. like britain region was everyone’s immediate idea for the next ‘white region’ after unova happened and i was still dissappointed that we got france after that and pleasantly surprised that theyd even THINK of doing a non-white western country like hawaii! and it was really great and had loads of stuff based on hawaiian culture and even taught you some hawaiian words and local foods and stuff!! i dont wanna learn about my own country through the sanitized false ‘child friendly’ idea of us being all knights and stuff AS IF IT WAS A GOOD THING. So yeah im not sure what other european country this might be, the outfits make me say possibly holland? but im just real glad that someone other than britain gets to be ‘sword and shield’ and the only british representation we get is thematic elements being used for the design of team plasma’s uniforms. yes thank you we were fuckin colonialist pigs please never glorify our military ever again in any fiction. please never put a sword anywhere near fiction britain unless youre ready to talk about how many indigenous cultures we slaughtered. SORRY IM KINDA GOING OFF ON ONE!! im not like ‘never put my country in pokemon ever’ but if theres any form of specifically HISTORICAL CONTENT in the pokemon version then HOO BOY it would need to be handled carefully and the name sword and shield does not bode well for that so FUCK YES please be holland, please be the other place that has a lot of picturesque farm scenery and also better hiking and also literally everything. it cant be britain cos if it was britain we’d definately have a fuckin sheep or somethin for a starter. srsly tho i am very confused by the big ben looking place, am i just bad at geography and dont know about a similar clock tower in holland that is also associated with red brick industrial buildings and mines? i hope so! either that or maybe its like a combination region of multiple european countries? but thatd be weird since france got to be its own thing. tho honestly i would like it if britain got COMPLETELY ignored except to be one single town that contains the underground minigame, lol

please be holland i love you holland please save me from my rambling awful post WHY THE FUCK am i getting so bad at recognising geography oh yeh cos i havent slept in ages

i love the big bags and the rabbit starter is something ive wanted since i was a lil kid. those are two positives. holland is a third. and its super pretty. okay. i can see all the positive things individually but still somehow my net reaction is a meh because i got too hyped for the wrong thing and also kinda got jumpscared by almost maybe britain I AM SO GLAD IT IS NOT

theory: pokemon world is so idealized and wonderful and beyond us in technology and equality and etc because britain never existed in this universe.

holland stabbed it with a sword

the end