#i literally drove home for two hours because the thought of possibly being interacted with by other people in my office was BAD

[bookish-bogwitch]

Hi.

I haven’t really used this blog much for personal, non-fandom stuff, but thought I’d share an update. CW: mental health and depression.

This past winter I hit the rock bottom what was, in hindsight, a major depressive episode that I’d been experiencing for years. I had no energy, no ability to connect wanting to do something with actually doing it. I was crying all the time and hating myself.

I had a job that I’d once loved—public defense—but that after twelve years had taken its toll. The traumas had started outweighing the triumphs. Between that, and becoming a caretaker for a disabled family member, and random brain chemistry, I’d been on a mostly downward spiral since before the pandemic started.

If I came across as upbeat, it’s because fandom was the one place I could still tap into playfulness and joy. I’d crack myself up online while walking around with a flat affect. There’s nothing wrong with using a hobby to cheer yourself up, but it was such a sharp contrast.

And then there was the doomscrolling. It’s just bad for my brain. The pornbot boondoggle drove this home because I was spending hours a day on here and feeling proportionately crazed. (Note to past self: yes you’re very clever, here’s a pat on the head, but two days of pornbots would’ve been just as funny as twelve.) By the time it ended I was falling apart. Something had to give. I changed my Tumblr password to a random key smash and logged out.

But fandom isn’t bad for mental health just because social media is. I am doing so, so, so much better now, and I credit a lot of it to this fandom. Quitting public defense was scary because my whole identity was bound up in being a public defender--but now I know I’m also a writer. My closest friends had previously been my work friends, and I didn’t know if those relationships would survive if I left--but I knew my fandom friendships would.

Fandom also helped more directly too, by connecting me with friends who all but literally held my hand while I cried and looked for a therapist. Who shared their experiences of depression and recovery and antidepressants. Who cheered on my job hunt, which I couldn’t share with IRL friends until I was ready to give notice. You guys know who you are and I love you.

(Also, shoutout the CO trilogy itself and especially AWTWB for convincing me that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It would be too much for anyone.)

Between quitting my old job and starting an antidepressant, it’s felt like flipping a switch. I have energy that I thought I'd just lost as part of the aging process. The new job is occasionally interesting, never dramatic, and completely harmless. It feels vaguely useful but never essential. It feels getting forklift certified after being at war. I love it.

Anyhoo. I’ve been putting off coming back on Tumblr. Even though I’ve had countless genuine, loving interactions on here, I really don’t know if I can have a healthy relationship with the hellsite. I’m writing again and want to share my stuff and cheer you on, but moderation is not my strength. Maybe I’ll try some WIP tagging to see if that feels possible to do occasionally and not obsessively.

Social media is the worst, but you are the best. I’m bbbogwitch on discord—reach out any time. Especially if you’re struggling with depression or helping-profession burnout or caretaker blues. You’re not alone.

[barnesafterglow]

this isn't a love song

summary: your life with bucky was perfect, so full of happiness and love. and then one day it wasn't.

pairing: bucky x f!reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: it's based on all too well by t swift, it's literally just angst. modern au

a/n: i really thought a lot about how i wanted to end this, i'm an absolute sucker for happy endings. there was a lot of inner turmoil (and kat really pushed for different ending) but it is what it is. i'm so sorry :)

“Hey Beck, there’s someone I want you to meet.” To say you were nervous was an understatement. Although you and Bucky had been dating for six months now, this was the first time meeting anyone from his family. You took it as him just being nervous about your budding relationship; at least, that’s what he had told you. You weren’t sure if the chill down your spine came from the cold outside or the welcoming hug she gave you before helping you with your scarf and jacket. Her sunny demeanor quickly had your nerves fading, as you began to feel more at home.

Bucky’s family came as a bit of a shock to you. Where he was more reserved in his love, taking longer to become comfortable, his sisters immediately spoke to you as if you had been around their whole life, and you could see something that looked like hope in his mother’s eyes as she watched you interact with him.

Though you were only there for a couple hours, you left feeling like part of the family, and it warmed your heart in a way you didn’t think was possible. And you could tell Bucky felt that same warmth as he drove you through the backroads of his hometown, trying to cherise a little more time before you were thrown back into the whirlwind of the city. It was so late and you were so caught up in each other that Bucky nearly ran a red light in the middle of downtown.

His bashful smile made your heart flutter. “I’m sorry, you’re just so beautiful, I couldn’t stop lookin’ at ya.” The glimmer in his eyes matched yours as the autumn wind flew by you, and you could swear this is what forever felt like.

When you finally made it back into the city and to Bucky’s apartment, your hands were all over each other, giddy with happiness. As you step through the door, still giggling and sharing kisses, you realize you left something back at the Barnes’ house.

“Bucky! I lost my scarf. That was my favorite, what am I going to do?” You pouted and he had to contain his laugh and the seriousness on your face; it was incredibly endearing.

“Don’t worry, doll, Becca already texted me and said you left it over at the house. I’ll get it for you later.” And with that he kissed the pout off your face before tossing you on the couch as you laughed uncontrollably. Later that night, as you lay peacefully asleep on his chest, he can’t help thinking about this as his forever.

--

Two years later, you’re back at Becca’s house, this time to celebrate yours and Bucky’s engagement. There were more people than last time, relatives had come to town, and all your friends were there. Mrs. Barnes took great pleasure in pulling out all of the family’s old photo albums to embarrass Bucky. You found it adorable, while Bucky’s ears turned red and he grumbled something about how “at least he was a cuter baby than Steve.”

But no part of the night compares to when everyone gathered around you to hear the story of how Bucky proposed.

He had been thinking about it for a while, he even had the ring upstairs in his sock drawer. He just had no clue what to do. You deserved a lot better than whatever proposal he could come up with. But he was too scared to ask for help, so he just put it to the back of his mind until the time was right.

Apparently waiting for the right time isn’t actually a great plan, because almost a year after he bought the ring, he still hadn’t proposed. He was beginning to think there would never be a time he could find the courage to do it, until one night he came downstairs after waking up alone in bed.

He found you with your head in the fridge, headphones in your ears, dancing as you tried to find a late night snack. His heart swelled and before you could even look in his direction, he had swept you off your feet. You let out a terrified shriek, dropping your shredded cheese to the floor in the process. When you finally realized it was him, you ripped your headphones out and tried with all your might to get out of his grasp. But in the process, your phone started playing the music you had been listening to, and he dragged you around the kitchen until you danced with him. And there, with your messy hair and pillow creased face, illuminated by the refrigerator light, he decided that was the right moment.

With a quick promise to be right back, he bounded up the stairs for his sock drawer, and was back down before you could even start to clean up your mess.

“Hey, close your eyes for me,” his voice was so soft and serious that you didn’t even consider making a joke of it like you usually would. He took your hand in his and let out a shaking breath before he dropped the ring in it. Your eyes fluttered open and you let out a soft gasp, tears immediately springing to yours eyes.

“I have loved you with my whole heart, for so long. You make me feel things I never knew existed, and I want to spend every second feeling like I do right now. I want to scream lyrics to songs we barely know, and use our house as a dance floor no matter what time it is. I want these little moments and all the big moments. I want to remember everything about us. I would trade anything in the world if it meant you said yes right now, yes to marrying me.”

By then, you were both in tears, and you could barely get out the “yes, a million times yes” before he crashed his lips to yours, pouring every ounce of love he had into you. He finally managed to slip the ring onto your finger in the midst of a thousand kisses, and you danced around again until you both collapsed on the couch, in each other's arms, until the sun came sparkling through the front window.

The sweet story had everyone else on the verge of tears as well, even Steve who had heard already - right after you all had woken up that next morning. The love between the two of you was palpable, and it brightened the room for everyone in it. It seemed as though your love story was something of a fairytale. It was hard to grasp two people sharing that same amount of love for each other, especially as strong as yours was. But there wasn’t a glimmer of doubt between you as you dove into your own space in the universe right there beside the fireplace. Some might say it was almost too good to be true.

--

You would think that being engaged would be a dream; who wouldn’t cherise spending time with the person you were going to vow your life to? But for Bucky, your engagement had begun to seem more like a death sentence. Everything had been going so well, or maybe it had just been your rose-tinted glasses. But it felt like as the months went by, and you tried to start talking about wedding plans and the future, the less Bucky wanted to hear about it.

It started off small, like when you and Wanda had gone to a bridal show, and you brought back a stack of magazines to look through together. He said he had plans with Steve that he couldn’t bail on, even though he said nothing of it that morning when you left. You figured maybe he had forgotten to mention it, and occupied yourself the rest of the night, nose deep in a particular volume of dresses.

Then it became bigger things, like later work nights, and days when you didn’t even see him because he was gone before you woke up and came in long after you had gone to sleep. You tried to rationalize that he was just stressed - weddings do cost a lot, after all - but you knew you were only fooling yourself. You had felt his distance for months now, and just didn’t want to believe it. You told yourself the next time he was home you would confront him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, even when you saw his forced smile. You wanted to keep pretending you were happy and in love; you didn’t want to face the worst.

Your final straw came when Bucky forgot your anniversary. You didn’t hear from him at all that day, and had hoped that maybe he was planning a surprise for you when you got home from work. But you knew the moment you stepped in the house and heard an eerie silence, that this was the beginning of the end.

You waited up that night until he came home at around midnight. He was startled by your deflated figure on the couch, and you quickly gathered yourself to stand on your feet.

“Hey, I thought you would be asleep by now. What’s going on, honey?” He almost sounds sincere in his worry. Almost. But for as much as Bucky had pulled away, you still knew him like the back of your hand. You started shaking, desperately trying not to cry; trying to be strong in the face of potentially losing the love of your life.

“Who is she? Who have you been seeing, and what does she have that I don’t? What does she have that has taken everything away from me?” There was no point in holding back anymore, you heaved as your knees dropped to the floor, no self respect left, all you could do was beg for his love. “Please, James, please. I need to know, I need to know why you’re tearing me apart so willingly. I need you to stay with me; I can’t live without you.”

The next thing you knew he was on his knees in front of you, prying your arms that had been clutching your chest away from your body, trying to envelope you in a hug. It took every shred of strength you had left to push him away and look him in the eye, pleading for an answer.

“There’s no one else, I swear on my life. I would never, ever do that to you. You deserve so much better than that.” That, at least, you felt was sincere.

“So what is it then? Why don’t you love me anymore?”

“Sweetheart, I do love you,” he seemed to hesitate just a bit before delivering the killing blow to your heart, “I’m just not in love with you anymore.”

You felt like you were underwater, anything else Bucky said was a million miles away, and you were drowning. You honestly wished that were true, because anything would feel better than the pain you were going through right now. It was like no other feeling in the world.

All you could hear was a ringing in your ears as you scrambled through the house, grabbing your essentials, because you couldn’t stand another moment of heartbreak encasing the air. Maybe tomorrow you would come back, talk it out, and see where this all left you; but for now you needed some space to let your mind stop racing.

You finally snapped out of it when Bucky grabbed your arm as you were walking to the door. You expected him to ask you to stay, to not leave him yet. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Because all he said to say to you was, “are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

The disbelief mixed with your shattered heart kept you from being able to even form a sentence. You ripped your arm from his grasp and got into your car, tossing your bag beside you. You wished you were strong enough to leave without a glance back, foolishly hoping to see him watching you go, but when you looked up, he had already closed the door.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and puffy eyes, and Wanda was already up making what you know will be a far too intricate “sorry you had to sleep on my couch last night” breakfast that you would take one bite of. When you walked around the corner to the kitchen, she already had pain medicine and a glass of orange juice for you. Thankful that your best friend knew exactly what you needed without having to ask, you sat down at the island with a soft groan.

“I don’t even know where to start. I knew it was coming, but I couldn’t have ever imagined a pain like this.” Your sobs started all over again, and Wanda wrapped her arms around you, whispering “I love you” and “it’s okay” over and over. Just when your tears begin to subside, you hear your phone ringing in the other room. That same feeling of false hope feels tight in your chest when you read Bucky’s name. You try to shove down your thoughts of reconciliation, but you can’t help what your heart is desperate for.

“Bucky? I’m so glad you called, I really think-”

“I packed up most of your things last night. I can mail them to you or drop them off, that way you don’t have to come back here; that would only make it harder.”

Your heart didn’t just shatter - it crumbled to ash that no amount of time could reconstruct. The thought of this heartbreak getting worse had never crossed your mind; you thought you had hit rock bottom, but apparently rock bottom has ten levels, and you were truly done for now. It took everything you had left to keep your head clear enough to hear him explain how he would give you the money for you to find a new place - he thought that would be easier than having to stay in the place where you had spent almost two years of your life together. He had thought everything out already, almost as if he had planned for this.

You hung up without another word. Two days later, your life was in boxes in Wanda’s living room, and two weeks later, they were in a strange apartment that felt like it could never possibly be your home.

The next months of your life went by in a blur. You got dressed, went to work, and came home. You didn’t see your friends; you picked up the same meal everyday. You hadn’t even unpacked anything except for some clothes. Nearly everything sat the same way it had since you moved in, since Bucky had packed it all up for you.

No matter how many times Wanda or Natasha, or even Steve once, knocked on your door in an attempt to get you to interact with them, all you did was send them a text to let them know you were alive, staying sedated from your semi-permanent spot on the couch.

By the time it was approaching a year, you had managed to stray from your routine a bit. Wanda came over once a week to cook dinner for the two of you and put on a movie; sometimes you watched it, sometimes you just stared at the TV, and sometimes - on your good days - you even talked to her. It wasn’t much, but it was progress.

On a crisp October morning, you were searching through opened boxes trying to find your favorite scarf. It was driving you insane, because you knew you would never get rid of something you loved so much, and realization hit. You hadn’t seen it since that first night you met Bucky’s family, and you somehow knew he had kept it all this time. It was like you ran into a brick wall, paralyzing you; you could feel every inch of progress you made slipping through your fingers. But you were stronger than you were a year ago. You didn’t cry or break down. Instead, you grabbed your jacket and headed out the door, determined to keep your resolve. If you could make it through today, you knew you would be okay.

As a reward to yourself, you stopped at your favorite coffee shop on your way to work - one you hadn’t been to since the break up. But you felt confident as you stood in line with your head held high. It was almost going perfectly until someone ran into you on your way toward the exit, knocking your purse out of your hand.

Both of you bent down, scrambling to grab it, and you looked up to meet steel blue eyes, the very ones who had haunted your dreams for months and months. Shockingly, you could still read them as if they hadn’t been gone a day. Bucky looked as bad as you felt, and you knew the year hadn’t been as easy as he tried to make it out to be that very last time you spoke to him.

You both stood up, never breaking eye contact. Your breath hitched as he opened his mouth to speak, saying just what you knew he would. You knew him all too well.

tagging people who interact with me sometimes *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

@lovinggbarnes @artisancowbells @comfortbucky @starbuckie @belladonnabarnes @bucksmotel @buckys-darling @angrythingstarlight @asgardwinter @gray-reads @starrysebastians @pellucid-constellations

[writingtoforgetreality]

Come Together - Little Movie Star Chapter Five (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter 

Summary: It was finally time to meet the Padalecki’s. What if they did not like you? You were expecting a lot of things but you certainly were not expecting this. Were you dreaming? You had to be.

Words: 1,912

Warnings: language, Jared being a hugger (you’ll understand why I put it here), being uncomfortable, scared of having to go back, surprises, kinda a filler chapter but important for the future of this story

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

Tonight, the Padalecki’s were coming over. When Jensen broke the news to you, you were excited but equally nervous. Danneel drove the kids over to their grandparents so they would not disturb you during dinner. Not that they ever annoyed you. The exact opposite, actually. You loved having them around. But you were supposed to focus on Jared & Gen tonight.

The thought of them getting to know you scared the shit out of you. They were the Ackles’ best friends, after all, & you wanted to leave a good first impression behind. It took you some time to figure out what you wanted to wear for dinner. It would be held at home so you did not have to overdress but at the same time, you found dressing nicely to be convenient. After changing your outfit one too many times, you settled on a simple look. While it was nothing special, you did feel confident in it. And confidence was definitely something you needed later today.

Spending hours in the bathroom was not planned, it simply happened. You wanted to look perfect. Danneel had told you that there was no need to worry, that they would love you just as you were. Being a fan of them for a long time, you knew they would never judge you by they way you looked. It just was not in their nature. Still, it could not hurt to put effort into your look, right?

When you woke up today, the first thing you did was checking your phone. You knew you should not but sometimes you felt the need to. By now, everyone knew about you. And while the hate comments were becoming less & less, some days, you only noticed the negative responses. Of course, the media had picked up on the fact that you were a new person they could write about. There was not much to report about you, though. Some paparazzi had shot a few pictures of you over the time of you living in Austin. At first, you were creeped out by the idea of being watched 24/7. Now, you were dealing with it way better. When you were seen with Jensen, you posed for the pictures & it was fun to mess with them, really. Besides your first Instagram post, you had been quiet on social media. The hate wave still needed some time to die down & you did not want to add fire to the flame by posting more stuff about your new life. Surprisingly, the articles that had been written about you were mainly positive. Of course, a couple of them were looking for drama but because of your silence on social media, there was not much they could write about.

Walking out of your room after checking your look in the mirror for the hundredth time, you saw that you still had an hour left before they would be coming by. You could ask Danneel if you could help in the kitchen. She had insisted on making the main dish while the Padalecki’s would bring over dessert. Danneel heard you walking in & gasped when she turned around to look at you.

“Wow, (Y/N). You look gorgeuous.” blushing at her words, you thanked her.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” walking over, you could already smell the delicious dish Danneel was preparing.

“You could set the table if you don’t mind?” she asked you & you immediately got to work, grabbing everything necessary to put on the table.

Hey, Dee?” you were at a point where calling her by her nickname did not make you uncomfortable anymore. Yet, if you had to be fully honest, being in Jensen’s presence calmed you more. Comparing your relationship to the beginning, though, the both of you had improved by a lot. And you were grateful that your trying was not for nothing.

“What’s up?”

“Where’s Jensen? Shouldn’t he…I don’t know, be here already?” you knew he was not the person to be late, especially not for something as important as this. Okay, it was just dinner but he was aware of your nervousness even days before. Danneel informed you that he was at the Padalecki’s house & would arrive right in time with them. Okay, good. At least he did not forget about it.

Ever since you had arrived in Austin, Jensen’s filming schedule was all over the place. The crew wanted to give him more time with you & the change in his life. This ended up in him flying back & forth from Vancouver to Austin almost every couple of days. It was exhausting & you had reasoned with him to focus on his work entirely, that you guys would be okay here. But nope, Jensen wanted to be there with his family & you appreciated his efforts a lot. A lot of weekends, he was at conventions all across the country but he always managed to stop by & spend time with you all. He was great.

There was knocking on the front door & you knew it was them. Danneel asked you to get the door & you were silently preparing yourself. You had multiple conversations in your head & hoped that one of them would be fitting. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door. Damn, you knew Jared was tall but he was tall. You were pulled into a bone-crashing hug before any words were exchanged. Right, you knew Jared was a hugger, you had seen enough videos of him admitting that. Still, you were getting used to physical touch & his hug did more bad than good. You hated yourself for feeling that way, there was no need to be scared of hugs.

“Easy, pal. Let her go.” Jensen rescued you by tapping Jared’s shoulder. It was as if he suddenly remembered that you actually were not one for hugs. Pulling away abruptly, he scratched the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry…” he quietly apologized. “I’m Jared. It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/N).” you could not stay mad at him, the look in his eyes & his smile was enough to forget the uncomfortable hug immediately.

“It’s no problem & likewise, Jared.” stepping out of the doorway to let them in, Gen came into view & she smiled sweetly at you. Not making the same mistake as Jared, she simply shook your hand.

“Hi (Y/N), I’m Gen. You look pretty.” would you ever stop blushing whenever someone gave you a compliment? You were not sure but it was something you could work on, you thought.

“Thank you. It’s good to see you.” keeping your nervousness at bay, you were proud when your voice did not crack. If you acted like this the entire evening, you would be fine.

Jared & Gen walked into the house to greet Danneel & Jensen stopped you before you could follow them. Facing him, you gave him a confused look, not knowing what he wanted from you.

“I’m sorry about Jared. I told him you weren’t one for hugs but that jerk doesn’t listen very well.” Jensen felt bad that the first interaction between you guys was uncomfortable for you.

“It’s fine, Jensen, really. I knew he was a hugger.” a laugh escaped you, one that eased him a little. Now he could tell you were not mad at what happened. It could only get better from now on, right?

Dinner went by fast. It was easy to talk to them & while they did ask you a lot of questions, they were never uncomfortable. They knew where the line was that  should not be crossed. At least for the time being.

“So, (Y/N).” Jared started.

“Yeah?”

“I heard a rumor that you’re a fan of Supernatural?” he gave you a smile that showed you that he knew the answer to that question already. You nodded your head.

“Started watching about three years ago.“

“That brings me to my next very important question. Who’s your favorite? Sam or Dean?” oh, he did go down that road, great. You could feel Jensen’s eyes on you & Jared was looking way too confident. Honesty was important, right? Well, then you might as well confess.

“Actually…Cas is my favorite.” you admitted. Both, Jared & Jensen, gasped & acted as if the world just ended. You laughed at their antics. They could be such children.

“That’s my girl.” Danneel spoke up & high-fived you. Yeah, you could get used to that group of people.

Danneel & Gen left Jensen, Jared & you alone, knowing what they were about to tell you. Jared had brought you a little gift. It was one of his hoodies from the newest “Always Keep Fighting” campaign. The one with the “Family Has Your Back” logo. After thanking him, you immediately put it on, loving how it fit you. It was a little too big on you but that made it even comfier.

“We have to tell you something.” Jensen started. Oh no. Usually, when people from your past started a conversation like this, you were sent back the next day. Wait…Would they really do that? After everything?

“O-okay?” hiding your nervousness was not possible anymore. Jared noticed you trembling hands & eased your mind before you got the wrong impression.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s a good thing, I promise.” again, Jared’s smile had an effect on you. Maybe it was because he was so empathetic.

“Remember when you told me that you enjoyed acting a while ago?” Jensen continued after you nodded, “I managed to get you two auditions. They are online, so I can be there with you this entire time. That is, of course, only if you wanna do this.” your eyes widened at his words. Had you heard him right? He got you auditions? Plural? That was literally one of your biggest dreams.

“So?” Jared asked when you were silent for a few seconds. You just needed time to process everything. But holy shit. Of course you wanted to do this!

“I’d love to! What are the auditions for?”

“One is for being a main character in season 13 of Supernatural & the-“ Jensen was cut off.

“WAIT WHAT?! You’re kidding, right?”

“He so isn’t kidding.” Jared chimed in.

“And the second one?” everything was too much right now. How could you possibly deal with this information without freaking out?

“A role for the next Avengers movie.” Jensen finished. Yeah, sure, why not?

“How? How did you get these auditions for me?” you were shocked to say the least. What was happening?

“We do have some connections.” Jared winked at you & this time, it was you who pulled the both of them into a hug. Jared looked surprised while Jensen just smiled. He appreciated whenever you initiated physical touch, knowing it was not easy for you.

After the talk, Danneel & Gen joined you guys again & you excitedly told them about your upcoming auditions. That was so foreign to you. Having upcoming auditions. Even though they made sure that you understood that they could not guarantee anything, you were more than grateful that they even got you this opportunity. Supernatural & Marvel, both fandoms you loved wholeheartedly. And now you had the chance to be play an actual part if everything worked out. And how you hoped it would. Your life had changed so much lately & it could change even more now.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (04/17/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth​, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121​, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes​ (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 7 - Memories

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, was it a memory?, 2.6k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

“Don’t look down ‘cuz we’re still rising up right now...and even if we hit the ground...we’ll still fly, keep dreaming like we’ll live forever but live it like it’s now or never…”

Willie bobbed along as the song played from the tinny radio speaker outside the bodega. Sheldon was curled on his lap, purring contentedly as Willie pet him absentmindedly.

“You gonna take any chamoy candy, amigo?” Escobar asked, peeking his head out the door.

Willie shook his head.

“Not tonight.”

As Escobar disappeared again, Willie kept nodding to the beat of the song. It wasn’t exactly like being at a concert, but he had been happily surprised to hear the local station playing their songs - they’d been repeating them, in fact. By now he’d been able to assign faces to the voices singing different parts, and hearing Alex’s come through in the harmonies and the occasional solo was comforting.

“We ain’t searching for tomorrow…’cuz we got all we need today…”

The lines were strangely fitting. If Willie could’ve chosen how to spend his last day on Earth, he knew he would’ve spent it just like he had yesterday without question. If only that could make the Alex-sized hole hurt a little less than it had today.

“Can we turn it back to my station now?” Escobar called out. “We’ve heard the same songs, like, four times.”

“It’s Alex’s band, though,” Willie contested. The radio was already playing rancheras. As he stood up, Sheldon leapt off of his lap and went to eat more food.

“Que tiene este muchacho, anyway?” Escobar asked. “You knew him for, like, five seconds and he didn’t leave you a number.”

There was no way to properly express in words the feeling he got about Alex. Their interactions weren’t based on words, even when they had spoken.

“You don’t have to get it, Escobar,” he said, grabbing his board and helmet from leaning against the counter. He hadn't let himself hope it would magically last forever, but the memory was worth it. “I’ll see you later.”

“Adios,” the man said, sweeping up the store and singing along to his music. “Una piedra en el camino...me enseño que mi destino...era rodar y rodar…”

Shaking his head and smiling, Willie kicked off into the late night. He’d spent all morning cleaning hotel rooms, and he tried to remember which number had been the one for Alex and his band, but he never figured it out. The rest of the day, he’d run errands for Caleb and let the one memory he had regained play on loop in his mind. There was nothing that specifically indicated that the man in the truck was his dad, but he simply knew it was. They had the same squint when they smiled.

He hadn’t bothered telling Caleb about it. It would’ve been irrelevant, since he’d apparently been in the foster care system for quite some time. Those were some of the important details he’d gotten from him, but Caleb was rather stingy about the rest - he’d said it was so Willie could live unbiased and make himself into whoever he wanted. It didn’t feel that way, though. Eventually Willie had stopped trying to weasel things out of him and accepted that he might never regain his memories. Of course, it was different now that he knew they could return.

The wind in his hair was nice, but lacked something he couldn’t put a finger on. As he came upon a large home, he skated onto the driveway around the back. He was headed past the pool in the backyard toward his shed and was surprised by a sudden voice from the water.

“William, I’ve asked you so many times not to skate around the pool,” Caleb said, wading over from where he had been doing some laps. Slowing to a stop and picking his board up, Willie gave him an apologetic nod, continuing toward the shed.

“Wait,” he heard from behind. Turning, he saw Caleb climb out of the pool and move toward him.

“You’ve been running around all day, so I’m sure you want some rest. I’ve just been worried about where you go when it’s so late. That’s two nights in a row. Is there anything you need to tell me?”

Put on the spot, everything went blank in his mind. What was there to worry about? Did he know about Sheldon? Even if he did, it wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong keeping the cat at the bodega.

“Not anything to tell,” he replied, trying to mask the strange guilt that had arisen. “Just been skating around.”

Caleb looked down at him, and Willie could never tell what was making those gears turn in his head. He knew he was just looking out for him, but sometimes he just wanted not to give some kind of report at the end of the day like he was doing business.

“I just think about what would happen if you were out there and something were to hurt you,” Caleb told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Or someone. Wouldn’t want another accident.”

Willie nodded solemnly. Caleb’s tone was serious, but for the first time he just felt that it was...insincere. His stomach flipped at the thought and he drove it down into the depths of his mind. That was an awful thing to think about the person who literally provided everything for him, especially when he wasn’t blood-related.

“I’m being careful, I promise,” he said, not meeting the man’s eyes.

“I’ll take your word,” Caleb said. He let go of Willie’s shoulder and strolled back toward the pool.

Walking to the shed, Willie shut the door behind him and confusion swept over his whole being. His dad’s face rose to the front of his mind again. If only he knew more about him to compare the two men, then he could understand why he felt so strangely about Caleb. Looking around the shed, he wondered if an answer could be found.

It was big enough for his bed, some shelves and a desk, with a small closet and bathroom. Apparently he had been living in there instead of the house even before his accident. In his first memory of seeing it, it was the bare necessities and nothing else. While Willie still wasn’t much to keep lots of clutter, he had dozens of sketches that he’d put up on the walls to make it feel more at home. It was quiet and thankfully Caleb didn’t bother him too often in there.

Sitting at the desk, he picked up a pencil and opened to a blank page in his sketchbook. Slowly shaping out a face, he tried his best to remember the details as clearly as he could. Willie wanted it to be as close to reality as possible, even though it wasn’t his usual drawing style. That way if his memory slipped, he could have something to keep him steady. So far the best thing about it was the eyes, but it wasn’t hard because all he had to do was check his own face in the mirror every once in a while. The smile was a little more crooked and wrinkly, and it took several attempts, but he was determined to get it right. He knew it was probably a good idea to get some sleep, since he had a full day of work in the morning, but this was more important.

Hours into the drawing, making sure everything was as close as he could get, Willie looked down at the portrait of his dad, steering wheel in hand, happy as could be. It was a really nice image, and if this were the only way he would ever remember him, Willie was glad it was happy. Checking the time, it was a little past three in the morning. He’d probably hate himself later for staying up so late, but it didn’t make him any less proud of his work. Aside from preserving his memory, it had been a great artistic challenge.

Finally climbing into bed, Willie tried to focus on something else. He brought Alex’s eyes to the forefront of his mind and let himself get lost in the soft crashing of the waves again. It had been rhythmic, which was so fitting for Alex. Allowing the rhythm to repeat continuously, he eventually nodded off to sleep.

Sirens blared and red and blue lights surrounded his vision. Willie was lying on the pavement, not moving and fading in and out of lucidity. The pain in his head was overwhelming. For a few moments, he stayed that way, watching the lights flash indefinitely. Slowly, he watched as all the lights and sirens pulled away, and above his face, the front bumper of a car came in view. A man that he couldn’t see clearly appeared, moving backwards, going from the side of the car to kneeling over Willie’s motionless body in a panic.

After a few moments, the man went back to the car in the same backwards fashion, and Willie’s body lifted in the air. His vision tumbled and he made contact with the car a few times, and when his head hit the pain vanished. Strangely, he landed perfectly on his board and it was like watching the city in reverse. Aware this was a dream, he felt so puzzled by the whole thing. This was a part of the city he could’ve sworn he’d never been through before. Willie had his corners that he’d memorized, but Vegas was big enough to confuse him still.

The backwards skating seemed to be endless, until finally he was running back into Caleb’s home. Caleb was yelling, and Willie couldn’t make out what he was saying at all. Then suddenly they were at a social worker’s office, and Willie looked down at a file with his picture on it. He couldn’t make out anything it said, but he simply sat there as Caleb and the social worker blabbed in backwards gibberish.

The scene changed again, and Willie found himself sitting in the shed, crying. He was repeating a name but it made no sense. A deep loneliness filled his entire body and a strange force seemed to try to compress him into as small a space as possible. The tears and the shaking only intensified, ringing loudly in his ears. Everything was miserable, overwhelming, and he just kept crying out into the dark.

Willie opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. Looking around his room, there was too little light to make out any shapes, and after blinking his eyes he found they were wet. Huddling his knees into his chest, he just sat there in his confusion and fear, breathing in and out. Had those been memories? It was so hard to tell, especially since watching everything in reverse had been so trippy. If they had been, he wondered if they were warped in any fashion. Who would have their memories return through a dream in reverse, anway? The frustrating thing about amnesia was that it had very few absolutes and every case was different.

A pit of anger grew in his chest. Willie felt like some higher power was having fun at his expense. The tears that fell were more from quiet fury than pain. Glancing over at his desk, he saw the drawing of his dad smiling back at him again. Unfolding himself and laying down on his side, Willie stared at the picture and let the tears run until either his eyes dried up or he fell asleep again, whichever came first.

Loud banging on his door was what woke him up. Rising groggily from his bed, he opened the door to find Quetzal, one of the girls from the diner.

“You just woke up?” she was saying. “Come on, Willie, Caleb doesn’t know I rushed over here to get you, you better hurry up.”

Sighing wordlessly, Willie pulled on some clothes, followed Quetzal to her car and clambered inside.

“You’ve been off the past couple of days, you okay?”

Willie took in a deep breath and tried to blink himself more awake as they drove to the diner.

“Just in a funk, that’s all,” he breathed. “Thanks for coming to get me, though.”

“Let’s just pray we don’t get caught.”

“We won’t get caught, he’s doing some kind of new deal today. I heard him on the phone a while ago about some record label he was thinking of buying.”

“A record label? How many businesses does the guy own now, like five?”

“I stopped keeping track. Anyway, Dolores is probably managing today.”

“Oh, thank God,” she sighed. “You had me so worried when you didn’t show up on time. I was ready to get fired for leaving during my shift. At least we don’t have to worry about it now.”

Willie didn’t respond. He knew Quetzal was one of those people who would go out on a limb for anyone, but it still surprised him when she did it for him. He never felt deserving. As they parked at the diner and hurried out of the car, he shook his head. It wasn’t always successful but he always hoped it worked like an Etch-A-Sketch, to get rid of the many things cluttering up his brain.

That was it. Enter the kitchen, punch in, grab an apron, and he was in his corner by the dishwasher again. He ignored the eyes of everyone else who clearly wanted to express their upset by his tardiness.  He was there now, right? Heaven forbid. Willie’s mind, of course, only remained cleared from the shaking for a few minutes. As he got into the groove of spraying and moving things into the industrial trays, he tried to remember more details of the dream, but most had been forgotten. All that was left were sirens and lights.

He’d walked back home at the end of his long shift, since he hadn’t taken his board like usual in the morning. That also meant he couldn’t go to the bodega for lunch, and he desperately needed to check on Sheldon. Willie had peeked into the house and called to see if Caleb was home at all. His own voice echoed back followed by silence. Taking that as a confirmation the man was still busy, he gathered his board and helmet and made his way out to the street.

The wind wasn’t its usual soothing sensation against his face. Willie knew he was tired, but was disappointed to feel that the one thing that felt most freeing to him wasn’t doing its job. It should’ve been enough to lose his thoughts to the sound of the low roll from the wheels, only interrupted by the gentle clacks here and there. There was too much noise inside of him. Suddenly, he understood why Alex had chosen to play drums.

Sheldon was already pattering toward him as he came through the doorway. Scooping the cat into his arms, he held him close and stroked his fur in an attempt to find some comfort. When he started purring, Willie made a little sigh of relief.

“Busy day?” Escobar asked as he organized a shelf.

Willie only nodded. Sheldon was rubbing his head against his face, and it did more to soothe him than the wind.

“Sorry I didn’t come for lunch,” he apologized. “I haven’t been doing my part for Sheldon and I owe you.”

“I would like it if you could be around more,’ Escobar said. “But he’s a pretty good cat, so it isn’t too much, amigo.”

Nodding again, Willie finally heard the music playing in the background. Was it…?

“I thought you were tired of their songs,” he commented.

Escobar shrugged.

“Eh, I had an idea you wanted to listen to them. And they’re not all too bad.”

A surprised giggle came from Willie’s throat, and he smiled for probably the first time that day. He went to give Sheldon some food and let his mind replace the red and blue lights with soft green eyes.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Five. Missed You

the scene is set in 1956, a young man moved to Hollywood to follow his dreams of becoming an actor. But with little money and a struggle to keep his apartment, he is approached by a man who offers him a job at Sweetland.

a/n: hopefully this will mend your hearts from the last chapter! this chapter is dedicated to my best friend ira @stylesloveclub who is quite literally my real life Frances, ily :’)

SERIES MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAGLIST chapter word count: 9.2k

warnings: biphobia, y/n going tf off, and fluff

LETS TALK ABOUT CN! let me know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

It’s been a while since you ever felt happy again. 

You missed the way you would laugh with your friends freely, or the way you feel yourself blush, making the corners of your lips turn up into a smile. But ever since that day, something inside of you switched. 

Ever since that day, you weren’t the same person anymore. You held so much pain and anger inside of your heart that there couldn’t have possibly been anyone to switch that back to your normal, besides one person of course. 

But the pain and anger wasn’t just from that one day; it was the built up emotions you kept inside of you for years causing you to lash out, and that day was the last straw. 

A week after that horrid day, you were able to get out of bed as you left your ruffled warm sheets and tear damped pillowcases. Frances and Alice had told the staff you weren’t feeling well that entire week, and luckily they understood and were able to find a replacement for your class. 

You didn’t get out of your room until everyone in the house had left in the morning, which was about eight a.m, and you were locked away in your room before they were able to see you as they arrived home. You really didn’t want to see anyone; the presence of any other breathing soul was out of your favor during that week as you just wanted to wallow your way through the days. 

You figured, after that week, that you needed to get back to work. It wasn’t like you to be so in your feelings and to practically stay in bed for an entire week, but the pain was so very different from anything else you’ve ever felt. You missed him dearly, that’s a given. And if you couldn’t be with him, then you were fine with just being friends. His presence around you is what you really wanted; you just needed him to be around, but you couldn’t get into contact with him--it was like he fell on the face of the earth. 

On your first day back, you had a morning class as did Frances, so she wanted to pick you up and get coffee before you both headed to work. Alice had a class later that day, so it was just the two of you. But you enjoyed spending time with them individually. 

“Hey, doll! Hop in,” Frances smiled, tapping the leather seat beside her, and you got into her lavender Chevrolet convertible. 

“Thanks for picking me up,” you said softly, looking at her. She smiled, turning your head to look at you, and finding such a heartbroken woman who desperately needed some sleep from the heartache and exhaustion. 

“Anything for you,” she said back, grabbing your hand as she drove. 

Frances had picked you up an hour earlier than when classes began, wanting to just talk and listen to you, and if you didn’t want to do either, she just wanted to keep you company, wanting to be there for you.

The car was parked on the curb in front of the coffeehouse, which was around the corner from the studio. As you walked in, you were met with the aroma of fresh brewed coffee; the scent filled your senses as you felt as if you were in a cabin in front of the fire on a cold day. It was definitely not a cold day as you wore black shorts that stopped mid thigh and a cropped black t-shirt; Frances was wearing the same, but she wore white shorts and a baby purple cropped tee, and you loved how much she loved the color lavender. 

“Go find us a table,” she said, insisting on paying for the coffee. The coffeehouse wasn’t that packed—a few people working as they wrote or read the newspaper. 

You found a seat next to the window on the side of the shop, and waited for your hot drink as you watched the sun proceed to get brighter and brighter as the minutes went by, and you were too distracted to notice Frances sitting in front of you, drinking her coffee, and you assumed she might’ve been sitting in front of you for a while. 

“Thank you for the coffee,” you said, picking the hot drink up and blowing on it for it to cool down. 

“Of course.” 

It was completely silent between you two as you both drank your coffees and enjoyed the comfortable silence. It was times like these where you appreciated Frances. Without a doubt you love your little group, but when the three of you are together, it can be very chaotic—fun but chaotic to the point where you’re a bit overwhelmed. But with Frances, you were able to be comfortable in just sitting across from one another without saying a word. She knew how to have fun agreeably, but she knew how to be that friend that let you take your time or to simply just keep you company when you’re feeling lonely. 

After a while, you looked at her, and she was already looking at you, but her eyes perked up and she had a bright smile on her face. 

“Thank you again, doll-”

“You need to stop thanking me,” she giggled, causing the corners of your mouth to turn up slightly. 

“I mean it though. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done—Alice too. You always call me to see if I’m fine, and you picked me up, like that’s so sweet of you,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes. She reached her hand across the table to hold yours. 

“Of course, I’m gonna be here for you. We’re best friends—have been for years now. And you’ve been through a lot. It’s time we hold some of the weight for you,” she said with a small nod. Her words caused the tears in your eyes to fall, like they triggered them to flow as they pleased because you’ve been wanting to hear those words for a long while now. 

“You’re the best. I’m so thankful for you,” you said as you tried to contain your sobs. Frances got up from her seat and walked over to your side as you scored to the seat next to you so she could sit on the seat you were in prior. 

She hugged you into her chest as you quietly sobbed into her neck while she soothed your back to comfort you. To outsiders, they were probably thinking how early it is for a breakdown, and you agreed, it was too early. However, you were in a bubble with your greatest friend as she was combing through your hair, comforting you through your greatest pain, and the outside world meant nothing at the moment. 

It was 10 minutes before class started when you and Frances entered the studio the week after locking yourself up; Susan greeted you with a big smile as Frances said she’ll see you after class and walked down the opposite hallway. 

“Welcome back, lady,” she had said with bright eyes. You softly smiled at her, immediately regretted agreeing to any social interaction--not that Susan wasn’t the sweetest person you’ve met, but you were still broken and sad. 

“Hi, Susan,” you said to her as a pained smile on your face as you walked by her desk. But before you walked any further down the hall to your class, you backed up slightly to stand next to the reception desk. Her brows raised, waiting for you to speak. “Uh, did I happen to get any calls while I was away? Did someone call for me?” You asked warily, not knowing what answer you wanted to hear. 

“Nope. No calls were made for you. It was a pretty slow week,” she replied back, her usual smile on her face. Your heart sank a little, hoping a certain someone would have called you. 

“Tell me about it,” you had muttered under your breath. “Thank you though,” you spoke directly to her before you walked away. 

And it was like that for the longest time; you asking Susan if you had gotten any calls after each class and her saying no. You figured she had caught on a bit from your constant asking, but it was a bit upsetting to hear that no every single time. You just wanted a single call from him; to ask him if he was okay, where he’s been, and to simply just hear his voice. 

The voice that had brought you immediate comfort and ease from your crazy and busy life. The sound that was music to your ears when he laughed or talked to you in his deep sultry voice. And you just wanted him to tell you that he was okay. You could practically hear his voice in your head as if it were the only sound you memorized. The way he said ‘sweet girl’ was like the line in a song that you would  repeat over and over again because it just gave you ultimate chills. 

You heard so crisp and so clearly; he would say ‘sweet girl, I’m doing okay. Don’t worry about me.’ But you couldn’t help but worry about him. 

You missed your honey dearly. 

And you continued missing him. 

Up until now, you hadn’t stopped thinking about him. Six months later, there was just something about him that never left your mind and especially your heart. The hole in your chest was enough to explain to yourself how you felt, and it wasn’t normal to feel this way. 

“Hey! I know you’re in your feelings at the moment, but would you please sing along with us?” Alice asked from the seat next to you as you heard Frances mutter a ‘please’ from the backseat. 

You three were on your way to San Diego for a little trip girls trip. Although it was January and the weather would most likely be cold, you three were still on break as the studio hadn’t resumed classes just yet because of the holiday. But they would be back on next week, so you three wanted to have a mini getaway for a little bit before you have to go back to reality. 

“Okay, okay,” you playfully rolled your eyes at them as they saw your little gesture through your sunglasses. 

The three of you sang along to Elvis as you drove to San Diego. It was still quite sunny despite the month being January, but the air was crisp and cool. Cold enough so you could wear a sweater and some pants since California cold is cold to Californians. 

The drive was about a four hour drive from Beverly Hills, and you three stayed at a hotel walking distance from La Jolla beach. The trip was only three days because what’s really there to do besides go to the beach everyday, especially when it was cold out. 

“Okay, dolls, are we ready to go?” Alice asked you and Frances as you all settled into the hotel. You two nodded excitedly, grabbing your towels and blankets before heading out of the hotel and to the beach. 

You all figured out that the water was way too cold for a swim, but the sun was bright still as you three sat on your towels, all facing each other. You had bought some fruit for a little market that was on the way to the beach. 

“Think we picked a good spot--so many cute people around,” Frances said. You looked around to observe some of the men and women that were relaxing on the sand or in their swimsuits. You nodded in agreement as you took a bite out of your watermelon slice. 

“Ooh! I think that lady is looking at you doll,” Alice said excitedly. You looked at her and she pointed her head to the direction of the woman, and you turned your head slowly to find a beautiful woman in her swimsuit, smiling and waving at you. Politely, you smiled back at her. 

“Are you going to go talk to her?” Frances asked, and you shrugged. 

You knew that they were just trying to help the heartache in your chest that has been mending for the last six months. But if you still felt the same amount of pain as you did six months ago, you weren’t quite ready to move on yet. 

“Think you need that, doll. How are you gonna move on if the only people you really socialize with are us two?” Alice said, and she had a point. It was difficult to move past everything because you’ve locked yourself away and only limited yourself to some social interaction with people you already know. “It’ll be a nice change. And if you don’t want to talk to her, then come back here and you could talk to us! At least you tried,” Alice reassured you, and Frances nodded alongside her. 

You smiled softly at the both of them, and slowly nodded. You at least wanted to try, and being somewhere that’s four hours away from your home was a nice start. Handing your fruit to Frances, not wanting your fruit to get a sand flavor, and you got up. Your girls cheered you on, yelling out ‘that’s the spirit!’ and ‘so proud of you, doll’ as you slowly walked over to the woman who was sitting in her beach chair.

“Hi,” you nervously said to the woman. 

“Hey, cutie. Was just looking at you,” she complimented with a smirk, looking up at you. 

“Uh, yeah. My friends told me,” you said, turning around to point to them. But you also turned around just to see their reassuring smiles because you were actually quite nervous. And when you saw them beaming, giving you a thumbs up, you turned back around. 

“Well, would you like to sit?” She offered, and you said a soft ‘okay’ before sitting down on the towel in front of her, practically at her feet. “I’m Catherine, by the way,” she said, sticking her hand out. She looked a bit older than you--probably in her late twenties. She had beautiful blonde hair that was put in a high ponytail as she wore a cream colored two piece swimsuit. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said, shaking her hand as you told her your name. 

“Such a beautiful name for you,” she winked at you, flirting with you slightly. 

For the next thirty minutes, you and Catherine got to know one another, and you thought she was nice; she was very friendly, often stealing some innocent touches to your shoulder or your arm as she laughed about god knows what you said. 

Suddenly, someone walked under the umbrella and Catherine handed the other woman a towel before she sat down on the beach chair next to Catherine’s. They smiled at each other, and you looked between them; a silence fell through you as they talked. 

“The water felt great,” the woman said, and Catherine smiled, roaming her hand on the woman’s arm as she did to you. 

“Oh, by the way. This is Milly, my girlfriend,” Catherine introduced. Your eyes widened, feeling shocked as she didn’t mention that she had a girlfriend when she was flirting with you and touching your arm. 

“Hi, uhm, I should get back to my friends then,” you stood up from your crouch position, dusting your bottom off from the sand that had gotten on the towel. 

“Wait, we actually want you to stay,” Milly said before you had a chance to walk away. “Catherine and I are together, but we were curious about exploring with another partner, and we both saw you sit with your friends, and thought you were absolutely gorgeous,” she explained. 

You blushed, a bit flustered from what she said. You’ve never explored with two partners before, and you were curious as to how that’ll go down. But in total honesty, you weren’t feeling it. 

“That’s nice of you, thank you for choosing me, I guess?” You chuckled, cursing at yourself for how dumb that sounded. “But to be honest, I’m a bit heartbroken at the moment, so I’m not in the mood,” you said honestly. 

“Oh no, how could some girl break your heart?” Catherine said, assuming that it was a girl that got you sad. 

“I-It wasn’t a girl, actually. It was a guy,” you corrected. Catherine and Milly looked at each other confusingly, and soon after Milly scoffed. 

“Wait, so you don’t like girls?” Milly asked, needing some sort of confirmation. 

“I do! I like men and women. I’m bisexual,” you said, crossing your arms in defense, feeling like this was all going to end badly. 

“You like both...” Catherine said shockingly and you nodded as you took deep breaths. You tried keeping yourself together, not wanting to make a scene at the beach as everyone was minding their own business, as you looked at them with a stern look. 

“So you just couldn’t choose,” Milly said. You gave her a scowl look, furrowing your brows as the two laughed slightly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” you said, rolling your eyes. You turned around, not wanting to be around the presence of people who put you down for your sexuality. So, you walked through the sand back to your friends as they were about fifteen feet away from the two. As you walked you heard them call out to you. 

“We know being gay isn’t appreciated here, but you being greedy and liking both? Are you okay, sweetie?” They called out, followed by laughter. 

Alice and Frances looked at each other confusingly, wondering what the hell happened back there before you grabbed your fruit bowl from Frances hands and marched back over to them, squishing the watermelon cubes with your hands so the juices of the fruit spilled out, and the fruit itself turned into mush. They didn’t see you coming as they were still laughing and making jokes about your sexuality.

And before you knew what you were doing, you dumped the entire bowl onto Catherine’s head, watching the fruit spill down her hair and onto her body as she gasped loudly. Milly gasped as well, shocked that you did such a thing. 

“Next time you want to make fun of someone’s sexuality, think again. Don’t fuck with us, I mean it,” you warned as your voice was tough and strong; the complete opposite as what it was when you were talking to her. You walked away to your friends as you saw both of their jaws dropped with an amused look as they were still confused but totally backed you up on what you did, even if they haven’t gotten a clue why you did what you did. 

Once you got back to them, you picked up your purse and said, “Let’s go.” The both of them nodded, excited to hear what just happened as you all gathered your stuff as you heard curse from Catherine and Milly calling you a greedy and spoiled bitch. As you walked, you turned around, blowing them a kiss for shits and giggles.

“Oh my god! What the fuck just happened?!” Frances asked as she laughed. 

You three stopped in front of the hotel as they both followed your lead, sitting on the curb, both on your sides. As you took deep breaths, you had so much adrenaline from the events that had just happened, but not even a minute later, you started laughing hysterically, which Alice and Frances found amusing so they joined you. 

“Oh god…” you said once you calmed down. “That was such a rush--I’ve never done that before,” you told them, chuckling. 

“Well, you never do things without reason, so it must’ve been a great reason,” Alice said, leaning her elbows on her knees. 

You then proceeded to tell them what happened from the moment you walked over to Catherine to the moment you felt so uncomfortable as they practically bullied you because of your sexuality. 

“Yeah, she deserved that shit,” Frances said from next to you. 

“Definitely. Can people just get over themselves and mind their own damn business?” Alice scoffed, rolling her eyes as she scoffed, saying that she would have done a lot more than throwing fruit on her if she were you. 

“I’m so over people saying shit,” you said tiredly, wanting people to accept you as who you are, but in this day and age, it’s difficult to. 

“Don’t worry about them, doll. You’ve got us,” Frances said, giving you a hug and Alice joins in as well, and you tell them that you love them. You put your arms around your two best friends, thinking that this is the most fun you’ve had in a very long time. And even though it caused a scene where you had to ruin someone’s hair and their swimsuit as they said nasty things to you, you had your dolls by your side, reminding yourself that no matter where you are in life mentally and physically, you’ll always have them. 

And you appreciated that so much. 

After an eventful day to start the trip, you decided you needed a drink. So, you three found yourself at a bar in Downtown as you chatted among them in a booth as you ate peanuts and drank one too many ‘gin and sins’ that made you buzzed and fuzzed. 

But that didn’t stop you from ordering more for the three of you nor did that stop you from accepting cocktails from Alice because she kept ordering as well. And the only responsible one between the three of you was Frances, which isn’t old news. Sometimes she liked to get down and dirty, but she didn’t like to have too much alcohol in her system, which you totally respect. 

But ‘gin and sins’ were your favorite, and when you said you needed a drink, you needed a drink. 

“Alright, think that’s enough for the both of you,” Frances said, limiting you and Alice. 

“Noo,” you whined. “One more? Please?” You reach across the table, making grabby hands at Frances. Alice nodded next to you. She was more tipsy than drunk, and you on the other hand, were drunk. 

“You said that in the last four rounds! I’m cutting you off,” Frances said sternly, and your eyes widened. 

“Damn, okay,” you said, slowly sitting up. 

“We should go,” Alice suggested. 

“No, you know what we should do? We should dance!” You suggested an even better choice, getting up from your seat as you danced in front of your table, Frances and Alice got out of the booth as well. You were shaking and swiveling your hips in a sexy manner, or you’re trying to be, and you’re not aware of the people coming into the bar and the people sitting peacefully in their seats as some watched you with an amusing smile or a confused expression. But you didn’t give a fuck as you kept dancing. 

“Alright, dancing queen. Let’s go back to the hotel,” Alice said as you huffed and stopped dancing while you pouted. 

As you three were walking out, Alice and Frances on both of your sides, helping you walk, five people came in all at once, causing you all to move to the side and wait for them to clear the door. You watched them walk in, and suddenly your eyes widened and you were complete shock. 

Alice and Frances slightly rugged at you since you weren’t walking at all, but you told them to wait. 

“What’s wrong?” Frances asked, and you let both of your arms go from their hold. They followed your line of vision and looked at each other in confusion. 

“Doll?” Alice called out to you. 

“Harry…” 

“C’mon-” Frances said as she tried to interlace your arm with hers, but you interrupted her. 

“No!” You took your arm  away from her. “Harry is right there,” you pointed towards the bar, and their head turned. Tears were welling up in your eyes as you felt so overwhelmed from seeing him again for the first time in six months. 

Before you knew what your drunk self was doing, you started walking towards the bar, and your friends quickly followed behind as they tried to reach for your arms, but you pulled them away before they could even grasp it. Once you got to the bar, you leaned your left arm against it as you faced him. 

“Harry,” you simply said. The man turned towards you, looking at you confusingly, but you were still convinced that it was Harry right in front of you. “Listen…” you said, trailing your words off as you weren’t prepared whatsoever to have him in front of you. 

After a whole six months of figuring what you would say to him if you were to meet him again; going through the words in your head and falling asleep to the thought of talking to him again, you stood there with your mouth slightly open but no words fell through your lips. A sad expression was present on your face as your mending heart was pounding through your chest, begging him to heal you fully. 

He looked at you, wondering if you were going to say anything and possibly wondering why a random girl would go up to him and call him Harry. And it’s the fact that he wasn’t saying anything either is what hurt you too. But you decided to speak up because if you didn’t now, then you would regret it later. 

“Harry…I missed you,” you said, voice slightly cracking just as your heart was as well. “Six months without you was hell, and I never want to go through that again. But if you don’t want to see me anymore, then that’s fine,” you told him, voice coming out in a sad tone as you didn’t want to go through your days without having him in your life. 

“Doll, we should go,” Frances said as she and Alice lightly grabbed your arm and tugged you backwards. “I’m sorry,” you heard her tell him. 

“Wait,” you said, and you reached up to the man and kissed his cheek softly. You didn’t care if it was Harry or not, but you’ve had pent up emotions for so long that you just needed to let them out. And even if it was Harry, you weren’t going to leave him without kissing him, although you’d rather it be his lips than his cheek as you longed to feel his lips against yours again. 

You despised that your last kiss with him happened under those events that night. That it led to something so heartbreaking and painful that you didn’t know when you would feel his touch again. You didn’t get the chance to anticipate the next time you’d be in his arms again. That the last time you heard the words ‘sweet girl’ from his mouth was when he was trying to comfort you from the pain you were both about to endure. And it’s like a broken record in your head, playing over and over again, and you don’t want to fix the broken record because then your favorite sound would disappear into the midst of nothingness. 

Alice and Frances pulled you away from him as they guided you towards the exit and back to the hotel. Not surprising, but you cried the entire way to the room until your friends put you under the covers and wiped your makeup off as you told them how much you missed Harry and you just wanted to talk to him; that seeing him at the bar, even if it wasn’t him, had made the sadness in your chest come back because of how much you missed him. 

They simply didn’t know what to tell you but feel sad for you knowing how much pain you were in. They hated seeing you so upset to the point where you didn’t act like yourself anymore. But they will always remain by your side as they kept telling you that you were going to be okay. 

You woke up in a small state of panic as you weren’t aware of your surroundings and the feeling of the bed not being your own. With a slight headache and the taste of the alcohol on your tongue the night prior, there were continuous knocks on the door that made you roll your eyes and groan as it interrupted your state of deep slumber. 

Lazily, you got up and looked at the bed next to you to find it empty as Alice and Frances didn’t seem like they were in the room either. You assumed they probably went out to get some food and bring it back as they talked about, and you also assumed that they had forgotten the room key, which is why they were banging on the door at ten in the morning. 

“Okay, I’m coming, jeez!” You yelled out as you rubbed your eyes and lightly yawned, walking towards the door. You unlocked the door, opening it as you looked down because of the light and said, “Why must you knock on the door so loud?” Once your eyes adjusted from the brightness of the outside, it widened as the figure in front of you was not who you were expecting. 

You blinked a couple of times, not sure if you were dreaming or drunk as your jaw dropped, not expecting to see Harry in front of you. 

“Hi,” he simply said. It was a simple greeting and you wished he said a full on sentence just so you could hear his voice again, but something in you freaked out, causing you to slam the door in his face. 

“Oh my god…” you said to yourself as you paced the carpeted hotel room. You tugged on your hair, taking deep breaths as you muttered to yourself about how he can’t really be outside of your room right now and you were just hallucinating that he was here. But when you heard the knock again, you were taken back to reality as you jolted your head towards the door and realized that you completely shut the door in his face. “Fuck,” you muttered as you quickly walked towards the door, opening it once again and meeting his eyes. 

Harry gave you a small smile as he took in your presence again. It was a long six months of missing you and wishing you were in his arms again. He longed to see your pretty face and beautiful smile again, and being in front of you felt a bit overwhelming for him that his heart pounded and his eyes glossed. He truly couldn’t believe he was standing in front of you, and even in your wakened state, he still found you the most beautiful person ever. 

“Harry,” you said as if you were calling out to him, believing but not believing he was in your vision. 

“Uh, hi,” he said again hesitantly. He was definitely nervous, and you were too. 

“W-What…what are you doing here?” You asked, crossing your arms and subtly trying to fix your messy bed hair. But he looked great as usual; he wore a red and yellow striped t-shirt with some grey trousers, and pale yellow loafers. Harry was the type of person who could make anything look good, and you were absolutely jealous of him for that. He didn’t look all that different from when you last saw him; his hair was still the same, but he had a slight stubble on his jaw. 

“I came here to see you.” 

“How did you know I was here?” You leaned against the door, still debating in your head if you should invite him in or not. 

“Frances and Alice. They told me to come to your room last night,” he said, chuckling slightly. 

“Last night…” you said, not thinking anything of it. “Oh, last night!” You repeated, realizing that last night was the night you apparently saw him, and it seemed like you did. “Oh my god,” you said as you buried your face into your hands, groaning in embarrassment. “That really was you, huh?” You asked, not taking your hands away from your face, but separating your fingers as your eyes peeked out. 

“Yeah, it was me at the bar,” he said, giggling as he remembered the events that happened last night. 

“See, I knew it was you! I had the smallest doubt that it wasn’t but convinced myself that it was,” you shook your head, chuckling. “Wait, that means you heard everything, and I really kissed you,” you said as you gasped softly. Harry blushed in response as he smiled lightly at you. “How did you know I was there?” 

“I didn’t. I was there with some friends and I didn’t see you until you came up to me. Was completely surprised to be honest. And then Alice came up to me, after Frances dragged you away, to tell me to come up to your room today. So here I am,” he explained, which makes much more sense on why they disappeared in the morning and why Harry’s standing at your door. 

“Here you are,” you said softly. It briefly went silent between you two; so many unspoken words between you as you two wanted to blurt so many things out, but you really wanted to sit down and have a real and mature conversation with him. “So, uh, do you want to hang out today? Figured we have a lot to talk about.” 

“I’d love to. I’m free the whole day, so we can do anything,” he said, and you nodded. 

“Do you want to go down to the beach? I can just get ready quickly and we can hang out over there?” You asked nervously, even though he already said yes to hanging out with you. 

“Yeah, okay. That sounds great. I’ll, uh, wait for you out here?” He said, backing up slightly from the door frame so he’s completely standing outside. 

“Okay, cool,” you said, immediately slapping yourself mentally once those words came out of your mouth. Harry seemed to find that amusing as he laughed a bit as he saw you beating yourself up over what you had said. 

“Cool,” he said back, in a way to make you feel better about saying it, and your face had gone flustered as you slowly closed the door. 

“I’ll be quick.” 

“I’ll be right here.” 

You nodded your head as you closed the door, closing your eyes as you took the deepest breath that you were holding ever since you saw him. 

“Really? Cool?” You said to yourself, rolling your eyes as you groaned before you quickly got ready. 

You were ready in 15 minutes as you wore a plain white knitted sweater and some leggings, considering it was a bit breezy outside, and you and Harry walked to the beach. Luckily, the beach was only about a five minute walk, and the walk was filled with silence as nothing came out of both of your mouths. 

It was a nice day out considering the month still being winter, as the sun was out and slightly shining with the clouds present. You and Harry found a spot on the beach where there weren't that many people around to interrupt you both from your conversation. 

Laying the towel down, Harry helped you as he held the other end to straighten it out, and you two sat next to each other. There was a bit of space between you two, and it definitely felt weird that you didn’t close the gap to sit closer to him, but in all honesty, you didn’t know if that was crossing the line. Plus, you didn’t know where you two stood either. 

Your heart was pounding as you kept your hands in your lap from showing him how shakily nervous you were to be finally sitting next to him. And Harry was no better; he wasn’t saying anything because of the fact that he was also anxious as well. He was nervous that he would say the wrong thing to you, and he didn’t know if you were angry with him for disappearing for a whole six months. 

After ten minutes of looking out into the ocean as the sun lightly hit your skins, you finally spoke. 

“So…” you started, not finishing nor knowing what to say. Harry turned towards you, thankful that you were the one to start talking. “How are you, Harry?” You asked, and he somewhat cringed at the sound of his name as he missed the way ‘honey’ fell through your sweet lips. 

“I’m, uh, I’m doing okay. How are you?” He answered, and you just shrugged your shoulders as you sighed. “Are you doing okay?” 

“Y’know, I thought I was—doing okay. I mean, I was better than I was six months ago, but seeing you…” you said, looking him in the eye as memories of him leaving and running off came back to you. But you knew it wasn’t his fault; he did what he had and was told to do. “It just reminded me how much I missed you so much. And how much the last six months for me were hell because you weren’t around and I didn’t have contact with you,” you purse your lips, and Harry frowned, feeling guilty for not even calling you back. 

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no. Don’t be. I understand,” you interrupted, but he shook his head in disagreement. 

“Listen, not calling you was entirely my fault—I could’ve just…” he trailed off, not knowing how to word his thought properly. 

“Harry, what happened during those months? I called and called, I stayed in front of your apartment complex and waited for you for hours, but you never showed up,” you said, not meaning to make him feel bad, but you were telling the truth. Harry frowned even more, looking down onto his lap. 

Taking a deep breath, he looked up at you again as he spoke, “Okay. I’m going to tell you everything, just listen to what I have to say first before you decide if you want to be angry with me, alright?” 

You nodded, not saying anything as you waited to hear what he had to say. But you knew you weren’t going to get angry with him, you simply just wanted to hear what the hell happened to him and why he went M.I.A for six months. 

“After that night,” he started, not explaining any further of what that night was because you already knew, and it was hard to look and talk about what happened that day. “A few days later, I got a call from Shareen. She told me to come to the studio for a chat, and I thought it was going to be about the role. That maybe your father had a change of heart and decided to cast me, but I was wrong.” 

Your brows furrowed, already furious that Harry going missing could have possibly involved Richard and you despised him even more for that, but you continued listening. 

“I went to Shareen’s office, but she directed me to your father’s, and he said he wanted to talk to me. Was practically nervous at this point.” 

“Harry, what did he say?” You asked as you grew impatient. 

“Told me that if I stayed away from you, then he wouldn’t ruin the career that hadn’t even started. He said that he’s not going to cast me for the movie I auditioned for, but maybe the next one,” Harry said sadly, remembering how down he felt when he left his office and the studio. He was so close to having the career he wanted; so close to having his dream come true, but they were crushed right in front of him in the matter of seconds. 

“What the actual fuck…” you said in a calm manner as you were trying not to lash out in public and in front of Harry. 

“Hey, I’m so sorry. That’s the reason why I didn’t call because he told me to stay away, and it was hard to and I should’ve gone against his wishes, but it’s my career, y’know? I couldn’t risk not having my dream come true, and I hope you understand why I didn’t come to see you anymore. But know that it was a difficult decision to make because I was close to risking everything for you until Daren slapped some sense into me,” he explained quickly, not wanting you to be mad at him, but he would be if he were you. 

“No, no. I’m not mad at you,” you said as your hand touched his face, cupping his cheek. Harry immediately got chills from the contact, and he missed your touch dearly. “I understand why you did what you had to do. You made a sacrifice for yourself, so I would never be mad at you for that. If you were to give up everything for me, then I would be mad,” you said softly, looking at the man that has had your heart for the last months. 

“So, you’re not mad?” He asked, needing reassurance. 

“No, of course not, honey. I’m glad you had to do what was best for you,” you told him honestly. “Yeah, it hurt not being able to talk to you or see you, and practically not know where you were, but look at us now. We’re right in front of each other and that’s all that matters.” 

It was really all that mattered to you. You were never one to hold onto your anger and you were very forgiving in the sense, but being mad or upset at Harry didn’t exist because he did everything with good reason. 

Harry blushed at the sound of his pet name coming from your lips. Missing that name was an understatement; he longed to hear it again, and throughout those months, he had no idea when he would hear it, but now it was the sound of relief and reunion. 

“I’ve missed you calling me that,” he said, face being flustered. You moved to lay on your stomach, and he copied your actions as you two lay, facing each other. 

The sun was getting a bit brighter, so Harry pulled out his sunglasses, putting them on and you gave him a smile. You were already wearing white heart sunglasses, but you took your pair off and reached forward to take his sunglasses off, and put them on you. They were a pair of red lensed sunglasses that were heart shaped as well, and you adored them. Harry chuckled as you put your sunglasses on him. 

“These are like the glasses I would wear. Did you take them from me?” You teased, and Harry giggled, adjusting your white heart sunglasses on his face. 

“I bought them because they reminded me of you,” he said honestly, and you blushed, smiling at him softly. Your heart instantly swooned once he said those words, and all you wanted to do was kiss him. “They look better on you anyways,” he complimented. 

“Those look really good on you too,” you said back. You missed the back and forth, complimenting or banter with him. It was fun and light, and made you want more with him. It was something you thought about daily when you were away from him, and having it back made you feel so overwhelmed with happiness and joy. 

“So, what’s been going on with you?” He asked after the glances that you two made each other made him flustered. 

“Guess it’s my turn to tell my part, huh?” You chuckled, 

“Only if you want to. I’m here to listen if you’d like,” he said. You smiled, happy he never changed his mannerism. He’s always been a gentleman to you and everyone, and that’s one of the things you loved about him. 

“I wanna tell you,” you stated, and Harry nodded, waiting for you patiently to speak. “I wasn’t really doing okay, to be honest. I was a mess, and I haven’t really been myself since that day. Watching you leave was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and not knowing when I would see you again comes right next to it. After about two months, I finally talked to my father. That ended messy because he had all these plans for me with my ex, Chris, about business and marriage and I never wanted them. Then it got to the point where I was crying in front of him because you weren’t in my life anymore. And I’ve never cried in front of him before, so it was quite the surprise for him,” you ended with a chuckle, and Harry nodded his head throughout you speaking, listening to you intently and taking your words in. 

“Did things get better?” Harry asked, curiously, wondering if her father changed his attitude. 

“No. He said some shit about if I can’t tolerate him or proceed with his plans, then I should move out. So, I did just that.” Harry’s eyes widened, shocked but relieved because you were somewhat free. 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been living with Frances for about four months now, but I might move out soon just to get out of her hair, so we can have her own space. But I’m better now than I was for my entire 23 years of life when I was in that house,” you said in almost a relief. You’ve practically been miserable in that household; filled with toxicity and loveless people. 

Jane had been sad to see you go, but she still encouraged you. She was the hardest one to say goodbye to, but she understood why you wanted to leave. There had been many tears as she watched you pack your suitcase into your car, and she sent you off with telling you to find the boy that “captured your heart.” 

“I’m proud of you for doing that. I know you didn’t tell me much about your family and how you grew up, but from what it seemed like, you weren’t happy there. So I’m glad you have your freedom now,” he said honestly with a smile, not wanting you to seem offended. And you weren’t because he was completely right. 

For a moment, you two shared glances and basked in the sun as you both laid under it. There was no action of moving closer than how you were now, but the thought of doing so made you both nervous. 

“Are you still working at Sweetland?” You asked suddenly but curiously, breaking the silence between you two as the outside world of the ocean and birds filled the words. 

“No, I’m not, actually. I quit about two months ago, but I still visit every week because I’ve grown quite attached to everyone there,” he said with a breathy laugh. 

“Why did you quit, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“I kind of wanted a different job, and I wanted to do something I was good at. Not sure if sex is the answer to that,” he smirked, and your eyes widened. 

“Oh, you’re definitely good at sex-” you paused as your cheeks had gone flustered because of what you said. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud, and that was definitely crossing-”

Harry interrupted your rambling by stroking your cheek with his thumb. The action had caught you by surprise, but it definitely shut your mouth up. His stare was so passionate and intense that you felt like you were being put under his spell. His spell of comfort and familiarity. The spell of love. But you had been under that spell since you met him, and there was no way he was going to reverse it. 

The thought of wanting to kiss him had never left your mind; you just wanted to pull him in for a kiss to relieve your need as the touch of his lips make you feel alive every time he kissed you. 

“I’ve missed you,” he said in a hushed voice for only you to hear. Despite the crowd being relatively loud as the time goes by and more people visit the beach, you felt like you were the only two to ever exist at the moment. There was no one around to pop the bubble you two created. 

“I’ve missed you so much more,” you whispered back, looking up and down from his lips and eyes. 

He was doing the same, although his gaze held a little longer onto your lips as he noticed your lips being like strawberry lipstick from the many lollipops you’ve probably eaten. But nonetheless, his favorite lips are yours. 

“I’m sorry for being so M.I.A,” he said once more. 

“Stop being sorry. You’re here now,” you grabbed his hand that was resting against the towel as your face cuddled more into his hand. 

“I was actually out of state. That’s why I wasn’t around.” Your brows raised, and he continued, “Went to go visit my mum in New York.” 

“Really?” He nodded. 

“Yeah. Hadn’t seen her in about a year, so I decided to save up a ton and go see her. Then I stayed for about two months, which was when I quit my job. I actually got back last week, and some guys at the shop wanted to make a trip down here, and then I saw you.”

“Yeah…” you said softly. 

“When I saw you last night at the bar, I really couldn’t believe it. And then when you came up to me, my heart was beating so fast, but time stopped. You were talking to me all drunk, debating with yourself if it was really me or not, and then you fuckin’ kissed me, and I felt over the moon but I was still in shock,” he chuckled remembering how he felt the night prior. 

“Knew in my heart that it was you, so I couldn’t resist myself from going up to you,” you told him honestly. Harry blushed, always loving your words and how honest you were. 

He moved his position back to a sitting upright as his legs were bent and his arms resting on his knees. He motioned you to sit between his legs and you happily obliged, immediately moving to sit in between them as your back rested on his chest. This was the closest you’ve ever been with him in six months, and you were taking it all in as he wrapped his arms around shoulders, and you placed your arms on top of his. 

The feeling of his body so close to yours had made you feel nostalgic. The moments where you two would lie in bed after sex or when he would put his arm around you as you walked the streets; those were the moments you missed the most because you felt so connected to him physically and emotionally. You longed for his warmth when you would go home to an empty bed and a bad day. You craved for his touch when you would lie awake at night as you stared at the ceiling, wondering what he was doing. 

But this moment was worth all the pain and heartache that you had to go through the past months. It was the only thing you were looking forward to when you were to be reunited with him again, and you almost forgot the feeling of his arms around you when you were stuck in your own world as you missed the security of his warmth. 

And you were happy. 

After another hour or two of relaxing on the beach in each other’s arms, you two decided to call it a day. You held Harry’s hand all the way back to your hotel room, and the separation was something you weren’t looking forward to. 

“Alright, I’ll see you soon, okay?” He said as he pulled you into a hug. Your head rested on his chest, hearing his beating heart pound through his chest as you wrapped your arms tightly around him—maybe too tightly. “Woah, woah. Might break me if you hug me any tighter,” he said jokingly. You embarrassingly loosened your arms, but you were still pressed up against him. You looked up at him, chin against his chest instead of the side of your face. 

You gave him a small smile, but there was a hint of sadness, he could tell. And he knew exactly why there was a tinge of sadness. 

“Hey, sweet girl,” he said softly, and your heart immediately started beating quite fast, but it swooned. The pet name that you hadn’t heard in so long was finally back, and throughout the whole day on the beach, you were wondering when or if he would call you that again. And when you finally heard it, the words were soft and slick like butter like you wanted to indulge into the sweetness of his words. 

Your eyes welled up with tears, “I’ve been wanting to hear you say that again for so long.” 

“Then I should’ve said it earlier, but I didn’t know if I was crossing the line.” 

“You’re never crossing the line with me,” 

Harry smiled, showing his dimples that you’ve missed, and he placed his hands on the side of your face before kissing your forehead softly, lingering his lips a little longer than he should have, but you didn’t mind whatsoever. 

He let go, raking his hands down both of your arms before holding your hand with his. “I should get going.” 

“Okay,” you responded as you nodded your head. He let go of one hand as he tried to walk away, but the hand that was still holding his, pulled him back. Harry studied your face as a frown was present. 

“Listen to me, okay? When I say I’ll see you soon, I don’t mean six months anymore. I mean in the next couple of days, but right now we have to get back to our friends, alright?” He said, looking you intently in the eyes. You sighed and nodded, believing that it won’t be months on end until you see him again. “Never gonna go that long without seeing you again. Hurts too much,” he pulled you in for one last hug, kissing the top of your head. “I’ll see you soon—I mean it,” he said once he let go. 

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, honey,” you let go of his hands as he slowly walked away. From a distance, he blew you a big kiss, and you caught his air kiss as you made a fist and brought it to your heart. “I’ll be waiting for the real thing!” You called out and you saw him smile widely. 

“Oh, I’ll definitely be there to give it to you! Soon, my sweet girl!” He yelled out back to you before blowing you multiple more kisses. 

At this point, you couldn’t stop beaming as you watched him walk away from your line of vision. The last time you watched him leave had ended in heartbreak, followed by heartache. But this time, you smiled as you watched him leave, knowing that you would be able to see him very soon and not wonder when you would. 

And you couldn’t wait to see his bright eyes and beautiful smile again, and of course, give a kiss to his pink lips. 

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CHAPTER SIX WILL BE POSTED SOON!

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[cinnamoonsworld]

Two Worlds Collide - Chapter 6 [Aizawa x fem!reader]

Hello everyone! Sorry if the chapter came out late this week, but my boyfriend had to study for some important exams and I didn't bother him during the week!  Enjoy the chapter <3 

-----------------------------------------------------------  Previous chapters: ch1 | ch2 | ch3 | ch4 | ch 5 You can also find me on Ao3! Warnings: mention of depression  Word count: 1,453 ------------------------------------------------------------ "Shouta can we know what you did to her?" Asked Present Mic to his friend while gulping down the last drops of beer he had. "Absolutely Nothing." Stated Aizawa feeling Nemuri's eyes on him. "Something must have been happened." She said in a serious tone. "She can not just change his behaviour like this." The three friends/colleagues were out for a quiet Friday night in a club to drink, as sometimes happened to him. Aizawa didn’t have to go on patrol that night, and once in a while he liked having his noisy friends around. Although he hoped you would be there that night, but you had declined the invitation hastily without giving any explanation the afternoon before when Hizashi asked you if you would join a Friday night of drinking with him, Nemuri and Aizawa .All three of them were clear that something had happened to you, but none of them knew anything. For two weeks now, you had become very coy and reserved with the teachers. Usually you would spend your lunch breaks or other moments of freedom during the day chatting happily with Midnight and Present Mic, but by now you had become nowhere to be found. Aizawa also tried to talk to you in some way, but every time you had a chance to be alone, you ran away without saying anything. He didn’t even understand when you were in your room, from which nothing but silence came. No one saw you running from all sides anymore. You acted as usual with the students, supporting them and listening to their doubts and problems." Did I told you about two weeks ago, when I met her out of the dorms with her quirk out of control?" Asked Aizawa while drinking a glass of Whiskey. "Sure." Said Nemuri with her cocktail. "And that she talked about more people, so that day something else must have happened after what you told her in class... you at least talked to her?" "I was not able to. " Replied the raven. "After that day I never had the opportunity to talk to her for real..." "And you should be a supervisor!" Shouted Hizashi while asking to the waiter for another beer. "She is your subordinate, if you want to talk to her, you can -Order her to.-" Actually, Aizawa didn’t want to force you. He still had in mind the angry look you gave him that afternoon, it’s as if it was burned into his mind. He also hated being forced to talk to someone when he didn’t want to, so he preferred to leave you alone and give you all the time you wanted to come and talk to him. Even though he knew you didn’t have a good relationship, he hoped that anyway, as the person you worked with every day, you would open up to him for what was happening to you. Instead, you created a wall you didn’t want to break down, and not just with him. The thing he felt the most about was not apologizing for his behavior. For once, he could let it pass, but his rigid nature had prevailed even before listening to your motivations. Nemuri changed the subject by starting to talk about his favorite thing: the last rumors about their colleagues, and Hizashi was immediately very interested in the thing. Aizawa, on the other hand, pretended to listen when he thought what you were doing at that time.

It was dark in your room, and the only light in the whole room was from the TV next to your bed. You were watching a play, trying to distract yourself. But even that night, like a couple of nights, you’d find yourself curled up in bed with a knot in your stomach. You still felt bad about what happened, even though you felt something more now: terror. Your manager has always been a very vengeful person, and you knew that very well, because you had felt what he was capable of. All you had to do was do something that didn’t suit him, and his revenge turned into extra training hours or interminable signatures, getting you home exhausted both mentally and physically. You didn’t understand why he behaved like that, but only too late did you realize that he wanted you to be a puppet at his command. You were his money-making machine, and you had to do everything he said without having to complain or anything. You felt awfully stupid for letting him treat you like this, but having only him as your manager, you never wondered if these behaviors were normal or not, and so you accepted everything. Every day, from when you got up to when you went to bed, you felt nervous and anxious. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone, and as soon as you could, you’d go somewhere to eat or spend some time alone listening to music to calm down. Sometimes you were so overwhelmed by your thoughts that you would cry whatever you were doing, and music was the only thing that could calm you down. One of the things you were most afraid of during the day was having to interact with Aizawa or be alone with him. You were always trying to do your job quickly so you could end up when the bell rang so you could go away with the kids, and spend as little time as possible in the teachers' room so you could not interact with him or other teachers. With Ereserhead you only spoke when he wanted to know something about one of his boys or to give you some job, but even there you limited the conversation to a minimum. You could talk even less about him. When you finished work, you’d lock yourself in the room and not go out until the next morning. You’d stopped checking your cell phone, and by now it was all about notifications from Rumi and the record company’s top brass. You didn’t have the mental strength to respond or visualize anything. When you were on your computer writing reports about the 1-A kids, you didn’t go on the Internet because you didn’t want to go check your PO box or the latest news about you on the Internet. You were literally out of this world. It also became complicated to do the simplest job, because all the tears you repressed during the day came out in droves when you were in your room. Sometimes it took you hours to finish something, which usually took you about 20 minutes. You hated being like this. And you were also thinking that when you watched that play under layers of blankets in bed on Friday nights. The Saturday morning arrived, with the clear sky and the fresh air that now made the few leaves that remained on the trees fly away. Inside the 1-A dormitory, the students had gathered in small groups in the large living room. There were people who did homework, who read manga or did internet research for all sorts of things. You were helping Mina, Kirishima, and Sero with their math homework, and you promised them after you noticed how hard all three of them were working on that subject and also to distract you a little from your thoughts. The atmosphere was quiet until the alarm sounded. The students all looked at each other worried, couldn’t figure out what was going on. "I'm asking to all students to stay in their dorms, there is nothing to worry about." Echoed the calm voice of Principal Nezu in the area's speakers. "I request to all teachers to come immediately to the main entrance." As soon as he finished the sentence, Aizawa came out of his room with a clearly irritated expression. "(Y/S/N) stay here and keep an eye on them." Said the teacher wearing his scarf. "Do not try to come out for any reason or you'll have chores for three months. Understood?" "Yes, Teacher!" Shouted the kids at unison with a slight blink of panic in their voices. You looked Aizawa in a worry face while he bolted out of the dorm, you were hoping nothing bad will happen to him.As Aizawa made his way to the main entrance, he noticed, first of all, that there was no sound that foreshadowed a fight or an assault. So they probably shouldn’t have fought. As he approached the entrance, he noticed a great rumour and the lights that looked like photographic flashes. It was too late when he realized that all the teachers were called to the entrance to face one of the things he hated most in the world: the journalists.

[ayankun]

WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???)  There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference.  I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep.  The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels.  It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but.  the trauma is the joke.  The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!!  “Be. Good.”  UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice?  Please let it be deliberate.  I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found.  FOUND.  Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.”  Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now.  “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong.  Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music. 

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period.  The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!!  And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!!  This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft.  That happened in Civil War, right?  So the next ad is The Snap?  We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw.  Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left.  Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established.  That’d be p neat.  A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro.  I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed?  But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro?  Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse?  If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking.  But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away.  I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up?  Because look.  If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident?  With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just.  There’s just too many villains, alright?  We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up.  I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town.  Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California.  In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned?  Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him.  Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right?  I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right.  If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied.  Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time?  In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors.  Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory.  Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought.  I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection.  Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top. 

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction.  Like.  LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

[yodawgiherd]

Drought

Rating : E

>>>Read on AO3<<<

New year new me writing the same old stuff.... I mean, you guys asked for it :)

Enjoy!

Two weeks. Two weeks have passed since that nice night out they had when Eren took her out for dinner and drove her around to find that ice cream she liked. Two weeks since they made sweet love after coming home, slow and unrushed and satisfying in every possible way. Two weeks since Mikasa fell asleep in his arms, wishing for nothing that day. It was perfect.

And then, as usual, reality came. The next days were filled for both, with Mikasa being once again selected as a lead for a new collection by Kiyomi and Eren’s dedication for a better world making him take more overtimes. Between her photoshoots and his shifts, they simply had no time. And the Colosseum tournament in Vegas growing closer and closer every day didn’t help. Levi was adamant that Mikasa increases her training load, wanting her to be in top shape when that thing rolls around. All this translated into them not even seeing each other, often getting home when the other one was sleeping, and overall just missing any sort of interaction. It was mind-boggling really, how they managed to never bump into each other save for a few short moments, passing in the door or Mikasa waking when Eren slid into the bed with her and hugged her.

Knowing that the upcoming weekend they both have free schedules for once made Mikasa wake up with a smile, stretching in the bed. It was Friday, which meant that tomorrow the long drought will finally come to an end, in more ways than one. Mikasa didn’t want that much from life but going two weeks without having her boyfriend touch her even once did make her a bit frustrated. In theory, she could always take care of herself, god knows that they had more than enough toys to help her, but that just didn’t feel right. Tomorrow, she thought to herself, getting out of the bed and making her way downstairs. Tomorrow is the day.

Eren was gone, understandably, his shifts sometimes began in ungodly hours of the morning, but he left breakfast behind much to Mikasa’s delight. As she sat down to eat it, her eyes wandering over the table, she noticed another thing he left behind. An unassuming wooden box with a folded note on top. Curious, she picked the paper up, eyes scanning over the lines of Eren’s handwriting.

“Up for a little challenge?”, it said, the words ending with a winking smiley face.

Confused, she put the paper down, opening the box instead. Eyebrows rising, Mikasa knew that thing inside well, very well one might say, and the meaning of Eren’s message finally hit home. Beads connected by a string and a small bottle of lube weren’t something she expected to see first thing in the morning, but here they were, lying innocently in the box. It wasn’t that hard to understand what Eren wanted from her anymore. The question was, is Mikasa willing to go a full day with beads up her ass? Biting her bottom lip, she picked the toy up, inspecting the already known shape, thoughts racing in her head. As chance would want it, she didn’t have training today, only a photoshoot, but a damn long one. Mikasa knew from experience how it feels to have these inside of her and acting normal would be a challenge. Hard, but not impossible. Damn it, she just couldn’t back down from it, not when she imagined how smug Eren must have been in the morning, preparing this for her, probably thinking that she won’t do it. Well…..

“You’re on.”, Mikasa said albeit the beads seemed indifferent to her internal struggle, lying limply in her hand. She would show Eren just how wild she can get. Determined now, Mikasa grabbed the lube from the box, leaving for the bathroom in order to put those devilish pearls in.

Okay, maybe taking her motorbike as usual instead of a car was a bad choice. Breathing hard, Mikasa was glad that the helmet was hiding her face from public because it must have been completely red by now. Normally, she enjoyed the way her powerful machine purred between her legs, her bike was a new model, sleek and devilishly fast, which meant that it had a strong engine. But now, with that alien thing inside her, the vibrations coming from it were a torture. Mikasa felt it as soon as she kicked it alive, of course, but back then she was sure that it was passable, something she would stop paying attention to. It wasn’t. By the time she reached her parking space at the agency Mikasa was tempted to just head straight to the bathroom and take the beads out, but the thought of Eren’s face if he would find out stopped her. What she really wanted to do was drive into the hospital, find her boyfriend, drag him somewhere no one would see and fuck him senseless. Damn it. Composing herself, Mikasa carefully stopped the bike and climbed off, teeth gritting. And the day was only beginning.

Pixis did look a bit surprised when she asked for another break, having one just about half an hour ago, but he was enough of a gentleman not to pry. Staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, Mikasa couldn’t help but notice the flush in her cheeks, which stood so painfully obvious against her pale skin, no matter how much make-up the artist put on her. It was hard to act normal when every move of her lower body was accompanied by the shifting of those pearls. She kept her mouth firmly shut to prevent herself from moaning, assumed the poses Dot wanted from her with as little leg movement as physically possible, but still. The motorbike ride left her ass tender and now she was paying the price for her foolishness. Mikasa had a hard time not texting Eren, telling him what an ass he was, but she stopped herself before writing anything. He didn’t force her to do this, did he? No, he simply posed a question, a proposition, and she was the one who took him up on it. This was her doing, no one else was to blame. With inhuman effort, Mikasa opened her eyes, nodding at her mirror reflection before pushing herself from the sink and taking a few careful steps towards the bathroom’s exit. She could do this. She could do anything.

It was hell, but Mikasa managed. A few hours that felt like an eternity later, she was once again walking to where she parked her bike, quietly congratulating herself. That was until she reached her means of transportation, realizing that her crusade was not yet over. The ride home wouldn’t be nice to her backside.

One journey to hell and back later, Mikasa pulled up at their house, breathing heavily. This was taxing. As Eren’s car was still missing, she judged that he was at the hospital, pulling long hours as usual. Not that she minded, at least she could take a shower in peace and calm herself down. In the bathroom, she debated whether she should pull the beads out, but in the end decided against it. Instead, Mikasa focused on cleaning herself as much as she could, putting razor to the few hairs on her body that managed to appear since she last shaved. Looking into the mirror, Mikasa took in her naked form, watching the body she knew so well. Her wide shoulders, steel ropes of muscle beneath the pale, once again hairless smooth skin, moving gracefully anytime she did, the small firm mounds on her chest and the valley of abdominals underneath. What she didn’t want to pay much attention to was the lower part, the place between her strong, endless legs that was calling for her attention, yet she kept denying herself. Mikasa was on the brink here, just thinking about all the stuff that was at her disposal. Few minutes alone with the Hitachi wand and she would finally cum and cum hard. Eren would understand….

No. Closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing instead, Mikasa hung her head, her short hair creating a half-curtain to hide as much of her face as it could. She went through a lot for Eren today, so he better take good care of her. Otherwise, she would make him know just how displeasing this whole experience was. Pushing back her inner lust demon, Mikasa left the bathroom in search of some clothes, not even bothering to wrap her body in a towel as she thought that she’s still home alone. Yet she was wrong.

“Hello there kitten.”

A voice to her left made her jump, and Mikasa’s body reacted on its own, taking a defensive stance before she fully realized who spoke.

“Damn, I’ve been home for not even five minutes and already my fiancé feels like beating me up.”, Eren said from his seat on the bed, “Domestic violence is really no joke.”

He still had his shirt on with an undone tie around the neck, meaning that his statement about just coming home was a true one.

“Then again,”, he continued, eyeing her naked form, “maybe we could arrange something if you keep this dress code that is…”

Whatever Eren wanted to say next was left in the air as Mikasa all but pounced on him, sealing her lips on his upturned ones. The sudden motion was a mistake in retrospect, as it made the beads shift significantly and she moaned right into his mouth, a sound that didn’t escape his attention.

“You liked my idea, I take it?”, he asked.

“Hated it.”, Mikasa corrected him, “But did it anyway.”

“Whole day?”

“Whole day.”

“Damn…”, Eren shook his head, “You really are something else babe.”

“It’s been a long time…”

Mikasa let the end of the sentence hang in the air, hoping that Eren will understand what she was implying. She was literally naked, sitting in his lap and desperate not only by the long dry streak but also by having those damn anal beads in her ass the whole day. Two weeks man, come on.

“It was a long time.”, He agreed, hands coming to rest on Mikasa’s hips, “Long time since I’ve seen you like this.”

Mikasa was just about to suggest that they could perhaps start their weekend right and do something about it, but then Eren’s eyes darkened and he leaned in, lips grazing the shell of her ear as he whispered.

“You know what else I missed? I missed seeing you kneel in front of me with that pouty look on your face, I missed tying you up and teasing you until you cry, begging me for release. I missed pushing my cock into your throat and holding it there while you struggle in my grip, desperate for air. I missed flipping you over and spanking your ass while you sob into the sheets. I missed forcing the safeword out of you with the cane, going until your ass is red and sore and then fucking it, so hard that it makes you scream.”

Eyes almost popping out of her skull, Mikasa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It wasn’t that Eren didn’t do those things to her, he did that and worse, but talking about it so casually wasn’t usual for him. He was silent now, making Mikasa wonder if she should say something too. Did he want to hear how much she enjoyed controlling his release with the cock ring, making him beg for it and denying him over and over again, edging him until he couldn’t speak anymore. Should she tell him that she also missed him underneath her, worshipping her legs. Mikasa would never have guessed that having her boots kissed would turn her on, yet Eren somehow managed to do that anytime he did it. How she missed pegging his pretty ass, how she liked that it always reduced him into a groaning mess, how fucking the lights out of him felt so good. But before she could voice any of these, Eren moved first, snapping his hips up and pushing her down on the bed. He moved fast, stretching her whole body and trapping both of her wrists in one of his hands above her head, pinning Mikasa down.  

“In fact, I’ve been missing it so much that I feel like refreshing my memory tonight.”

Eren’s voice was still just above a whisper, a throaty hum that traveled through Mikasa’s whole body and left her shivering. The hand that wasn’t holding her own arms down also moved, sliding down her body.

“What do you say Miki, wanna be a good girl for me tonight?”

She swallowed hard, hyper-aware of his touch that was now tracing the firm shapes of her abs on its journey to that one place she needed to be touched at the most.

“I’d love to…”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’d love to, sir.”, she quickly corrected herself.

“Would you really?”, Eren pulled out a thinking expression, the traveling hand now resting just above Mikasa’s mound, “Then tell me, what would you have me do to you?”

“What? You want me to…”

“I want you to express your desires kitten.”, his voice was back in the authoritative tone, allowing no discussion, “Speak.”

He wanted her to what, beg him to dominate her? Eren never lacked in imagination, meaning that whatever this was it was most likely just another way of having her submit to him. Eren didn’t want only Mikasa’s body, he wanted her mind too, wanted to know every deep dark fantasy she had locked away. And why should she hold back? She yearned for him, for his touch, today’s events in combination with being naked in the same room as Eren made Mikasa more than desperate. Maybe it was really the time to speak her mind, to ask for all the filth he promised her. Because she loved it so fucking much.

“I want you to tie my hands behind my back,” she began, voice quivering just a tiny little bit, “I want you to force me to kneel and slide that thick cock of yours into my throat as deep as you can go. I want to gag on the length, struggle for breath while you keep me there, not letting go until I’m close to passing out.”

In reaction to her finally speaking out, or maybe to make her continue, Eren’s hand finally moved, fingers moving to touch her where the wetness was concentrated. Still very slow, he caressed the outer part of her sex, waiting for Mikasa to go on. So, she did.

“After you cum in my mouth, I want you to pull me to the bed, tie me to it, so tight that I can’t move an inch. Then you’ll tease me, with your hands, your mouth, the wand or other toys, make me beg and cry and curse you, completely soaked and desperate for you.”

Eren was very much enjoying this, judging from his agitated breathing, and to reward her he finally moved his hand again, spreading her lower lips with a practiced movement and dipping one tip inside to tease that hidden pearl.

“And then?”, he breathed into her ear.

“Then, after you had your fill of edging me, then I want you to fuck me, slow and hard,”, Mikasa’s breath hitched as Eren continued with the expert movements of his hand, rubbing her clit in a memorized pattern he knew she liked, “I want to feel your cock deep inside me, to feel your mouth on my nipples, to have you play with the pearls in my ass. I want to cum from you fucking me and have the beads pulled out mid-orgasm because that feeling is just out of this world.”

“That’s it?”

“Maybe….”, Mikasa looked at Eren, eyes half-lidded, meeting his dark gaze with her own, similarly aroused one, “Or maybe you can fuck my ass too if you feel like it.”

To her great dismay, Eren pulled his fingers out of her, sitting up.

“Well, that’s quite a list. We better get started then.”, eyes moving over her body, he stopped at her throat, frowning, “You seem to be missing something kitten, why don’t you go fetch your collar for me.”

With a nod, Mikasa forced her body to move, but her attempt to stand up was quickly stopped.

“Do move like you are supposed to. You don’t want to make me mad, do you kitten?”

Ah, so he wanted her to crawl. Giving in to Eren’s wish, Mikasa dropped down to her knees, making her way on all fours to where the collar was. At the same time, she could hear Eren moving behind her, walking over to where their toys were stored, making her stomach twist in expectation. She described what she wanted from him rather well, and Eren was never the kind to leave Mikasa wanting. Resisting the urge to look over her shoulder to see what he was picking, she crawled to where her jewelry was, opening the drawer. Having her collar there, among the normal necklaces could be viewed as weird, but then again it was not so different from some of the chokers Mikasa had stashed there. Picking the collar up, she ran her thumb against the silvery letter spelling out her name, set in the soft black leather, sighing. She loved it.

When Mikasa reached the bed again, holding the collar carefully between her teeth, Eren was already back, watching her. Even like this, on all fours, Mikasa didn’t lose the certain predatory grace in her movements, her crawling wasn’t awkward in the least. On the contrary, she moved with the agility of a tiger. Seeing the ropes of muscle move beneath her skin, Eren couldn’t help but think that Mikasa must have been a warrior in her past life, an assassin or ninja, a person who murdered with no remorse. Her body was a weapon, easily capable of killing someone barehanded and the famous icy glares Mikasa could do, the ones that made your knees buckle, made a man realize that. Eren faced her many times in the ring, only sparring that is, but the way she moved there made him regret anyone who fought her in a fully serious mode. Mikasa was scary if she wanted to, as Eren could attest to, being the subject of her wrath a few times. Not many, she was not the kind of person to anger easily, but when she did… Let’s say it was much better to keep Mikasa happy, okay?

And the fact that she willingly gave control over her carefully shaped body to him, let him tie her up in ways that made all her strength useless, being completely at Eren’s mercy, that turned him on like nothing else. Watching her struggle uselessly in his clutches, desperate but unable to help herself, that was simply amazing, and Eren couldn’t wait to do it to her again. He knew that she wanted it.

When his warrior girl crawled close enough, Eren reached down to take the collar from her teeth, smiling inwardly when she stretched her neck immediately, eager to have it on her. Happy to oblige, Eren collared her, closing the leather around her throat. The gentle but firm pressure there always put Mikasa in the right mindset, every breath reminded her that for now, she’s Eren’s kitten. One that he loved to death, no doubt, but he could do some very mean things to her too. Seeing her looking up at him, biting her bottom lip, Eren couldn’t hold back. Hooking a finger through the metal circle in her collar, Eren pulled hard. Mikasa made an adorable sound of surprise in the back of her throat when her mouth collided with his, but she was quick to adapt and relax her jaw, surrendering to the kiss. Prying her mouth open, Eren slid his tongue alongside hers, prodding into her mouth with no resistance from her side. When they separated, a string of saliva connected them, so messy the kiss was, but it did nothing to break the spell.

“Good girl.”

Making Mikasa stand up and turn around after, he pulled her arms behind her back, placing a pair of cuffs on both her wrists and elbows, completely immobilizing her hands. Seeing her from behind, Eren did notice the end of the string coming from her ass, the anal beads still deep inside. A whole day, huh? Eren had some experience with similar stuff, as Mikasa introduced him to his prostate and all the wonderful pleasure it could give him, but this was still a noteworthy feat in his book. With her arms tied, she stood straight as an arrow, eyes forward, waiting for his next order. A properly trained submissive this one.

“Turn around. Kneel.”

Mikasa obeyed immediately, sliding down to the ground in front of Eren.

“Now, take my cock inside your mouth.”

She looked up at his face, then back at his crotch, unsure of what to do. As Eren was still fully dressed, there were certain barriers between her mouth and the desired prize, but it seemed like he was leaving her to fend on her own in this one, unwilling to help. All right then. Leaning forward, Mikasa fished for that metal part that opened the zipper of Eren’s jeans, trying and failing multiple times before she managed to catch with her teeth, dragging it down. After that, she had to use her mouth to drag his underwear down, enough so his length would go free, and while it was not the easiest thing to do she managed. Oh, he shaved down there, she noticed, the pubic hair completely gone. Apparently Eren felt like mirroring her, as she had also removed that stripe of hair she kept above her mound before. There, now Mikasa could do what she craved to for two weeks straight and open her mouth wide, taking Eren’s cock inside. Without her hands it was a bit harder to give him all the pleasure she wanted, but Mikasa did her best, licking and sucking all over his length, worshipping Eren as much as she could. Fisting a hand in her hair, he pushed, insistent that she takes him deeper, greedy. Mikasa didn’t mind, she welcomed the help as she relaxed her throat, letting him slide deep enough to make her gag. Eren gave her a bit of air after, but it wasn’t long before he moved again, pressing her back down. She certainly appreciated that he was completely bare down there now, the whole ordeal made that much easier. Insatiable, he forced himself deep into her throat, again and again, holding her down for a long time, enough to make Mikasa’s hands jerk uselessly at her back where they were bound, unable to help. Gulping in the sweet air when he finally released his grip, Mikasa looked up at Eren with teary eyes, feeling a pang of pride in her chest when she saw just how red his face was. He was certainly enjoying himself.

“Good girl…. So good….”, he praised her, “You ready for more?”

Mikasa nodded and opened her mouth sticking out the tongue, completely giving herself to him. Once again guiding himself inside her, Eren couldn’t help but groan again when he felt how eagerly she began sucking at the tip.

“I’m going to cum inside your mouth.”, he announced.

The playful way her tongue pressed against his oozing slit was more than enough of an answer. Eren came, teeth clenched, the hand fixed in Mikasa’s hair flexing, the orgasm wrecking through his body.

“Fuck kitten.”, he groaned, watching her throat work underneath him, swallowing loudly, “You really are too good at this.”

Mikasa chose not to respond and focus on licking him clean instead. When she did let him go, finally, popping his considerably softer length from her mouth, Eren pulled her up. Sitting down, he made her lie down over his lap, lovingly caressing her beautiful ass. Then he slapped it. Hard.

“Count.”, he ordered, voice rough.

A spanking wouldn’t be much of a reward for such a nice blowjob, normally, but with the anal beads inside her, it was different. Every time Eren hit her, they shifted, making her moan and cry out at the same time, creating rather delicious sounds. Knowing what he was doing, he switched between hitting her left and right ass cheek, making sure the beads moved as much as they could. Sometimes she forgot to count, her voice lost in the sounds Eren kept spanking out of her, and she got an extra spicy hit as a punishment. In shaky words, Mikasa was forced all the way up to fifteen before Eren let her go. When she stood up, there were tears in her eyes of both pain and pleasure, and the fire between her legs was an inferno by now, making her rub her thighs together, hoping for relief.

Eren turned her around and undid the bindings around her arms. She wanted to be tied to the bed, and they had just the thing for that. Mikasa didn’t say a word of protest when he pushed her back down, making her lie down on the mattress, pulling the straps from beneath the bed and securing them around her wrists and ankles. Soft as it was, her spanked ass still protested against the spreadeagle she was forced in. Making sure that he pulled the bindings tight, Eren turned his back to her for a second, sorting his thoughts while making that short walk back towards the adult toy box. He needed a moment to get his piece to work again after she sucked the soul right out of him, but that didn’t mean that Mikasa had to wait empty handed.

“I got you something.”, coming back to the bed, he leaned over his tied victim, holding the toy up, “Remember this?”

He saw the collar bob as she swallowed.

“That’s the…”

“The two in one.”, turning the toy on, Eren watched it vibrate in his hand for a second before turning it off again, “It worked great last time, so I’m sure you’ll be satisfied this time around as well.”

Not really waiting for an answer, he moved between her legs, held helplessly open by the bindings. Mikasa couldn’t deny Eren his fun even if she wanted to. She was wet for sure, but Eren smeared both the toy and her opening with a bit of lube nevertheless, liking the way she moaned and writhed on his fingers alone. She really was craving any touch on her intimate parts. Pushing the toy in, he made sure it’s positioned correctly, pressed against both Mikasa’s weak spot and clit at the same time. Mikasa wanted Eren to edge her, she said so herself, and he was ready to deliver. The toy turned on, quietly buzzing, while she moaned out load, body trashing, pulling at the bindings uselessly.

“I’ve just realized that I’m terribly overdressed for this.”, he said, watching her struggle with a grin. It was always a treat, seeing how Mikasa flexed her muscles involuntarily, how nicely they stood out beneath the skin as she tried to free herself from the cuffs.

“I’m going to take a shower, don’t wander off.”, Eren finished.

In response, Mikasa fixed him with one of her trademark death glares.

“I hate you.”, she hissed, teeth clenched, tears leaking from her almond shaped eyes.

For that, Eren increased the vibrations by a little bit, watching her throw her head back and cry out, legs shaking. And he waited, the bastard, waited until she almost came before lowering it again, denying Mikasa any sort of release. The pure desperation and lust burning in her eyes made him weak, weak enough that he moved back to the bed, claiming her tired mouth in another deep kiss.

“Love you too.”, he gruffly whispered against her lips after, slipping into the bathroom before he completely loses control over himself.

In short, naked, tied up and sweaty Mikasa was fucking hot, and the urge to give in and fuck her was strong. Luckily, Eren was stronger, and the cold shower helped. He still heard her, all the sounds that the toy kept forcing her to make, heard the bindings groan as she pulled at them with all her inhuman strength. But they held and so did Eren, standing under the water and drawing the delicious torment out for Mikasa, knowing that while now she hated him for it, secretly she loved it. After all, Mikasa was the one who suggested that Eren edges her this evening, it wasn’t even his idea now, was it. Meaning if she wanted to find someone to blame for her good fortune or misfortune, she didn’t have to look very far. For now, Eren was content to just enjoy the water beating into his back, already planning what he will do to his kitten once he gets back to her.

In the other room, Mikasa regretted ever letting the word “edge” leave her lips. She blamed Eren, his dexterous fingers playing with her while she spoke, literally rubbing the words out of her mouth. Now she had sore mouth and throat, her ass was on fire but none of that mattered compared to what was happening between her legs, the toy wreaking havoc on her weakest parts while not fulfilling any of the needs it kept creating. Mikasa was burning, the fire too much to handle, writhing around on the bed, or rather trying to writhe and being kept in place by the tightly pulled bindings. Helpless as a kitten, Mikasa couldn’t even curse anymore, her breathing too agitated for that and it surely didn’t help when she heard Eren whistle in the shower, just a few metes away. He was a devil, no doubt, no man could be this evil.

Mikasa didn’t even notice when he came back, eyes closed and teeth clenched while the shocks ran through her body, making it move in small involuntary shrugs. Nearing the place of her torment, or as others call it: the bed, Eren cleared his throat, startling her. Her eyes snapped open, immediately focusing on his face while her lips curled into a snarl, and Eren was sure that she was about to give him a few choice words. But they never came.

This was not fair, Mikasa thought, eyes darting over her captor. How was she supposed to be mad at him when he was this fucking hot? She just couldn’t. Tan skinned, tall, taller than her, broad shouldered, planes of hard muscle with defined edges, Eren had a better body than most of the male models she worked with at the agency, and that was not all. His face, clean shaven to show the sharp line of his jaw, damp long hair falling freely on his shoulders, and the eyes, the damn eyes. So green and sharp that Mikasa could stare into their fire for hours without getting bored. Naked to match her, finally, she could also clearly see that Eren was more than ready for round two, the thick length between his legs fully erect. He looked like a statue of an ancient god of love, coming to grace her with his presence.

“Like what you see?”, he asked, teasingly, easily following her gaze with his own.

Mikasa nodded eagerly, thirsty as she was for him, craving to get fucked after all this foreplay.

“Please sir, I’ve been good….”

I deepthroated your cock and got spanked for it, was the other part she was not saying. Clicking his tongue, Eren reached a decision, climbing into the bed and moving to hover over her shaking bound form, facing Mikasa’s flushed cheeks and teary eyes. Dipping down, he kissed her again, hard, sucking at her bottom lip with force. He ravaged her mouth, taking it for his own, swallowing all her needy moans as the toy was still going strong inside her until Mikasa had to break away to breathe, chest heaving.

“Beg for it then.”, he growled, teeth sinking into that upper part of her neck left uncovered by the leather of the collar. The two weeks long dry spell left Mikasa’s neck free of love bites, but Eren was about to fix that.

“You want me to fuck you? Then beg for my cock.”

Breathing shakily beneath him, Mikasa did her best to organize her thoughts. It was fairly difficult, thanks to the number of stimulations she was receiving, from Eren’s teeth sinking into her skin to that tireless vibrator inside her, one that kept affecting the beads in her ass, making them move too. She fucking needed this.

“Sir, please, I need you…your co-cock inside me, please.”

Eren snorted where he was marking her pale neck, clearly unimpressed. Mikasa had to try harder.

“I’m just a needy s-slut for you sir, I beg you to spread my legs open and fuck my dripping pu-pussy. I’m your wh… whore sir, I haven’t touched myself for two weeks, and I’m desperate to finally have you inside me, to feel your massive cock hitting deep and hard into all the right places.”

Eren’s mouth stopped as he listened intently, Mikasa’s dirty mouth getting his full attention. That the usually timid girl was speaking like this was a proof of how desperate she really was.

“I’ve been dreaming about this, being tied up and helpless underneath you, fully in your power, it always makes me so wet.”

She would show him, if she could, press her hips upwards and rub her needy dripping pussy against him, hump Eren’s leg like a sex-starved maniac. But she couldn’t, held down by the bindings, so all Mikasa could do was talk.

“So please, sir, make use of me, my body, ravage me as you see fit. I would be deeply honored if you chose to use this slut’s cunt to provide pleasure for you.”

Eren was staring at her now, face unreadable, until he shook his head.

“Jesus, Miki, you really are expressive if you want to.”

With a quick dedicated move, Eren pulled the toy out of her, forcing Mikasa to whimper and clench around the sudden emptiness. After that, he untied her legs, but if she thought that he’s going to let her be free Mikasa was horribly mistaken. Folding her, Eren moved her all the way up, tying each of her ankles to its respective wrist, left to left and right to right. This position was rather taxing, and Mikasa was very glad for how flexible she was, allowing Eren to do that to her without her body protesting. Much. Like this, she was completely spread open, even more exposed than she was, her most delicate parts fully on display. But there was a time and place to be bashful, and now certainly wasn’t now. With his kitten suspended exactly as he wanted her to, Eren climbed in between her legs, eyeing his glistening prize.

“You’ve convinced me.”, he said, “I’m definitely going to fuck you now.”

“Thank you, sir.”, the end of Mikasa’s response was drawn out into a moan, as he chose just that moment to finally push inside her. With her legs obscenely spread as they were, it was way too easy to find his way into her wet tight heat, going on until he bottomed out, pressed right against her.

“You like that?”, he breathed into her ear, snapping his hips up, “You like it when I fuck you?”

“I lo-love it sir. Please…”

Whatever Mikasa wanted to ask for was left ambiguous because Eren gave in to the temptation and moved. Leaning forward, he supported his weight on the headboard above Mikasa’s head, using his left hand to take hold of her face, forcing her to look at him. Mikasa’s eyes were wide, mouth dropping open as he fucked her in deep unrushed movements. Taking advantage of her slack jaw, Eren pushed his thumb into her mouth, loving how she automatically sucked it, primal instincts taking over her. Mikasa was losing herself rather quickly as Eren was giving her exactly what she craved, fulfilling her needs the way she enjoyed the most. Letting go of the headboard, Eren gave up his support in order to press two fingers against her clit, rubbing the tiny circles. He would make her cum, and make her cum hard, a reward for all Mikasa’s good behavior. And when she started clenching, when her eyes rolled back, he pulled the thumb out of her mouth, reaching underneath the place where they were joined and finding that end of the string. Tugging at it, he began pulling the anal beads out of her, very slowly, drawing it out for her. The first pearl made her moan. The second made her scream. And the third finally made Mikasa cum, keeling her over.

Her orgasm came crashing down, making her body writhe as much as it could in its current position, the finish drawn out by Eren’s efforts. He kept rubbing her clit, moving inside her, tugging the beads out, and before she realized what was happening Mikasa’s orgasm bridged into another one, her screams rising in pitch and intensity both. She didn’t even hear when Eren cursed, his own finish claiming him at the same time when the last of the beads came free, and Mikasa’s ass was finally free of that toy.

When she came to, Eren was leaning over her, breathing heavily.

“You okay?”, he asked, a bit of concern in his voice.

“Mhmm. Just sore as hell.”, she nodded towards the places where her ankles were bound, “Maybe you could untie me?”

He returned her grin.

“Maybe I could.”

Undoing the cuffs, Eren freed her from the bindings, pulling her boneless weight onto his chest after.

“Wanna take a bath after you calm down?”

Mikasa hummed in agreement, pressing a loving smooch to the underside of Eren’s smooth jaw.

“But don’t get too comfortable.”, he continued, “I still have to take your ass, right? I mean, you asked for it.”

Seeing her shocked expression, Eren couldn’t help but laugh. Not that Mikasa was opposed to anal sex, but right now she was completely spent and wanted nothing more than to just relax.

“Don’t worry, it can wait.”,

Eren’s dexterous fingers moved again, rubbing soothing circles into her neck, using that small space left uncovered by the collar. The one that he still didn’t allow her to take off, she realized. Arms wrapped around Eren’s torso, she left that thought drift aimlessly, deciding not to pursue it. Instead, she focused on that unnatural warmth he radiated, seeping into her muscles and making her melt from the inside. So comfy, getting even better when Eren pressed a kiss to Mikasa’s temple, whispering after.

“After all, we have the whole weekend just for us.”

[mood-swings-for-days]

Thunderstorm Ι Ch. 3 Ι JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Werewolf!au

Word count: 6, 829

Warnings: Characters in a less than healthy state of mind, violence, slight body horror, an addicted to cigarettes Jungkook (don’t do drugs, kids!)

Summary: An accidental encounter triggers a series of events that shatter your monotonous life. A new relationship starts to develop, following the stages of a thunderstorm.

Note: Written under the influence of beautiful music

1   2   3   4

Chapter 3: Drizzle

      Propping the old umbrella on your shoulder, you struggled to lock the driver side door of your truck. Raindrops were falling heavily on the hood of your car and covering your face in a fine misting of rainwater. You were scowling in frustration, straining the key in futile efforts to make it fulfil its purpose. Water pooled around your feet and seeped into your sneakers, egging your irritation even further. With the fading sunlight, cueing you were already late for your shift, you couldn’t help but think that this was the worst possible time for the old lock to start acting up. Abruptly, you turned the key in the opposite direction and back again, repeating the movement several times before the lock finally reacted. With additional effort to turn the thing all the way, you were finally rewarded with a resounding click. A relieved sigh tore itself from your lungs as your hand flopped down to hang beside you. With throbbing fingers, although victorious, you headed up the street toward the store.

      The bell above the door and your wet, squelching shoes notified of your arrival before you could do that yourself. Your coworker was leaning against the counter, already changed out of his work uniform.

        “I’m late, I’m sorry!” You decided to forego a proper greeting in favor of trying to explain yourself. “Yoongi, my car was acting up and I-”

      “Spare me.” The hostile tone he cut you off with immediately struck you as odd. He had opted to work a 12 hour shift today and was going to be absent for the next week so you could only assume he was tired and cranky and wanting to leave already. That being said, the look in his narrowed eyes went far beyond mild irritation from a tiring day. Yoongi looked mad; his eyes were quite literally burning your soul. You stood unmoving under his glare, blinking up at him owlishly and wondering what you did to piss him off to that extent. He couldn’t have gotten angry because you didn’t show up on time as he was notorious for coming to work late. With a quick glance toward his crossed arms, you noticed he was squeezing his fists so hard, his knuckles were turning white. You carefully swallowed the saliva, built up in your mouth and his eyes immediately snapped to your throat. The tiny movement seemed to finally set him off. He pushed off the counter and headed straight for you, staring you down. You tensed up and held your breath until he brushed past you. A cloud of his natural scent hit you in the face and, as if on autopilot, you mumbled:

        “Have a nice evening, Yoongi.”

        His reply came in the form of the store’s front door slamming behind you. The little bell shook for several moments after his departure and when the shop was finally silent again, that’s when you snapped out of your initial shock. Sheepishly, you walked behind the counter and signed your name into the evening protocol. The rest of your shift went by quietly and with minimal human interaction.

      On your way back home your thoughts flip-flopped between the botched lock on your car and Yoongi’s unusually hostile behavior earlier. No amount of pondering could help you figure out either one of the two problems. On the flip side, there was another question whirling around in your head for a while now and it wore the name of Jeon Jungkook. For over two weeks he was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t show up for lectures, you didn’t see him frequenting his usual spots and he never came around to your store ever since you two exchanged numbers. Lately you found yourself sitting in bed, looking at the piece of cardboard, carrying his name and wondering if it would be ok to call him.

       Your throbbing heart quickly became forgotten when an acute howl broke the silence of the night. Chills immediately made your stand on high alert and blood ran cold. In your peripheral you could see shadows moving at the edge of the woods. Ever since you rented a house near the forest, you started to develop this irrationally vast fear of wolves and other nocturnal animals, and sounds like this one freaked you out to no end. With a shrunken heart you gripped the steering wheel tighter and prayed that nothing would jump out on the road in front of you. You started shaking when you looked in your rear view mirror and saw reflective eyes keeping pace with the back of your car.

        “Oh-nononono. Please go away!” You whined pathetically

      In your mind you imagined some rabid creature jumping in the trunk of your old pickup and charging at you through the back window. You imagined sharp teeth and claws, broken glass and copious amounts of blood spilling everywhere. You suddenly remembered the pain of something tearing into your throat in your dreams and tears started pricking at the corners of your eyes.

      You were quickly approaching the intersection that lead to your house and this time you were sure as hell not going to take that thing straight to where you lived. Instead of continuing straight when you entered the intersection, you took an abrupt turn left, in the opposite direction of the woods. The street lights were more and closer together here and you quickly lost your pursuer as the light seemed to scare it off. Still, you drove a few blocks further until you parked your car under a street light to try and calm down. You released the steering wheel and curled in on yourself. The light rain was tapping against the windows of your car, but other than that there were no other sounds. The street lamp above you provided soothing yellow light, but in that moment you felt so very alone. You stayed like that for a minute until a voice you certainly wouldn’t mind hearing crept into your head and clenched around your heart. You shakily reached for your bag and pulled out your phone along with a small slip of cardboard that had been recently taped to the back of the device.

      23:01 said the screen. You wondered if it’d be ok to call. You punched in the numbers and your finger hovered over the green button. With a thumping heart and a lump in your throat you figured it was now or never. Once the first ring sounded, you put the phone on loudspeaker and stared intently, breathlessly anticipating the 0:00 to appear on screen. Across the street from you, Jungkook’s hand was hovering over his buzzing phone. The screen showed a number he had positively memorized by now and adrenaline was spiking high in his system. With a deep sigh and a clenched jaw, he picked the device up, pressed a button on the side and made the buzzing cease. Back in your car, you felt worse with every passing second you kept hearing the monotone dial tone. Finally, the zeroes you so desperately wanted to see flashed on screen.

      “Hey, Jungkook here. I probably can’t talk right now, but I’ll listen to your message, if you decide to leave one.” Came the generic message he had recorded who knows how long ago. For a moment you panicked, wanting to hang up as quick as possible, but the adult in you knew you needed to explain why you called so late in the first place.

      Beep. You coughed dryly “Hey, uh, it’s y/n. Sorry to bother you, but I accidentally dialed your number… That’s all. Good night.” You lied through your teeth and hurriedly hung up. Somehow, you felt completely humiliated once the silence surrounded you again. You threw your phone on the passenger seat and kicked your truck into high gear, heading straight home.

      Jungkook watched his phone until the screen faded to black, seconds later the “Missed call” notification appeared and under it there was another one, signaling he had voice mail. He heard your engine roar to life outside and waited until he could no longer hear it. At this point guilt and curiosity were eating him alive and he lunged for his phone.

      “Hey, uh, it’s y/n.” your voice sounded weak and shaky “Sorry to bother you, but I accidentally dialed your number…” a sniffle “That’s all. Good night.”

      Jungkook dropped the device next to him and laid back on his bed, covering his face. He felt like a jackass. His heart was throbbing heavily in his chest and every fiber of his being screamed at him to go out and run after you. Instead he lay motionless, allowing himself to get swarmed by remorse and frantic worry until he fell unconscious for the night.

      Your sleep wasn’t any more peaceful either. All night you kept tossing and turning, your clothes drenched in cold sweat and face contorted into a pained expression. Your dreams turning into full-blown nightmares as you ran through the woods, nearly naked and completely barefoot. The wind savagely tore into your exposed flesh, but the pain from the cold was nothing compared to the agonizing feeling you had in your legs. The souls of your feet were all sorts of cut up and bleeding profusely, every other step you took granted you with another nick or tear. Your bare calves and thighs were also cut up from the bushes and branches you kept running into in your frantic dash to escape whatever had given chase after you. Your muscles were aching, begging for mercy and making your knees rattle helplessly, but you couldn’t stop.  No matter what, you couldn’t stop running. Deep in your gut you knew that if you stopped, you would be no more. An ancient primal instinct to survive at all costs was pulling you forward, forcing your legs to move and lungs to breathe despite the burning pain. Behind you, heavy footsteps were quickly gaining on you. Whatever was chasing after you, sounded as if it were walking on two legs. It was big and fast, and, judging by the sound of it crashing through the bush, it possessed immense strength as it snapped the branches in its way like toothpicks. If it weren’t for the low growling, coming from the thing, you would have assumed it was human, but the sounds it was making forced you into a desperate prayer that you wouldn’t have to find out what it was. It was snarling, sniffing the air and panting and you could feel hot rivets of tears staining your face. You tried to scream out, but your voice was long gone. And, God, the forest was endless; thousands of tall pines looming over you, but doing nothing to stop your pursuer. Dark and heavy rainclouds covered the sky and suffocated the moonlight. The wind was slamming into your front and seemingly trying to slow you down, howling in your ears and disorienting you.

      You felt so alone and scared, as if nature itself was out to get you. In that very moment you thought of your family and every pet you’ve ever had, you thought of your professors and classmates, you thought of Yoongi and your store manager, you thought about your roommate and about Yara, and finally about Jungkook. In that very moment you knew you would give anything in the world to at least be able to share another conversation with them. Suddenly, your life seemed much more valuable than it did the previous days and you deeply regretted depriving yourself of a happier life for all these years.

      Incoherent wheezing tumbled from your mouth, your chest being rattled by loud sobbing. With all you might you tried to form words. Your throat was dry and painful and your lungs couldn’t swallow enough oxygen, but you still pushed. Heavy coughs scratched at your insides.

      “Pl-p” followed by a broken inhale “Plea…ease” you managed quietly “Please, please, I’m begging you!” your cries steadily grew in volume. You couldn’t even recognize your own voice. Words mindlessly poured out of your mouth and all you knew is that this was your last chance to survive.

      “I don’t want to die!” you knew it sounded stupid as the sentence echoed in the night. You weren’t thinking straight and the heavy footsteps behind you showed no signs of stopping. You were growing desperate.

      “Please! Somebody, help me!” you started screaming out random names that came to mind. “Yara! Jungkook, please! Jun-” Just like it would play out in a bad horror movie, your foot got caught in some raised roots and you plummeted to the ground. You fell heavily on your shoulder and heard an audible crack. Burning pain slithered down your arm, across your chest and up your throat. As much as you tried, you couldn’t push yourself up. Your heart was positively about to burst both from fright and complete exhaustion. The huge lungfuls of freezing air you were swallowing were making you lightheaded. Just behind you the bushes rustled and the last thing you saw before you fell unconscious was a pair of reflective eyes about 6 feet off the ground.

      You sat up in bed. Your heart was still thumping wildly, but you were relieved. Tears were streaming freely down your face and sweat rolled off your temples. “It was just a nightmare” you chanted repeatedly, but dull pain was still throbbing in your left clavicle and feet. Your room was dark and quiet. No light slipped through your blinds so you could only assume it was still too early for the sun to have risen. You brought your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around your cold legs protectively. Sheer will power wasn’t enough to stop you from shaking like a leaf. Even if it was a dream, why was your body still aching? It couldn’t have been the force of memory. If that was the case, the pain would have faded in the ten minutes you sat curled into a ball.

      Jungkook too was tossing in his bed all night. He hadn’t bothered to change out of his jeans and t-shirt when he fell asleep and in the earliest hours of the day he found himself tangled in the bedsheets, covered in sweat and with a heavy chest. In his dreams he could smell blood all around, he was running like a madman and his instincts were kicking into high gear. Everything was a blur and he wasn’t sure where he was headed, he didn’t remember, but adrenaline was pumping inside him at the thought of reaching it. A woman’s voice and then something resembling his name reached him. He needed to run faster, he had to know what was calling him. He felt like he was coming in and out of consciousness, noises becoming very loud and then completely muffled. His body moved purely on muscle memory. Before he could come to his senses, he heard a crash and then abruptly stopped. That’s when he woke up with the image of your tear-stained face on his mind. His chest felt tight and he pounded his fist into it a couple of times to make the feeling go away. He sat up in bed and leaned back against the headboard. Reaching for the pack of cigarettes on his nightstand, he planned to finish the whole thing until sunrise.

      When morning came, you finally willed yourself to unravel from the fetal position. You tugged some jeans and a sweater over your chilled body and headed for the bathroom. In no time you found yourself seated at the back of the hall, alone and waiting for the lecture to start. Yara had called in sick earlier this morning. You didn’t really speak to any of your other classmates, your friend was the one who did most of the talking anyway. At this point you had stopped hoping Jungkook would show up either. You didn’t even know if he attended this class. You were barely holding your face up with the palm of your hand, your eyelids heavy and head pounding with a migraine. You were zoning out, staring at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling when someone bumped into the back of your chair.

      “Oh, sorry!” a sweet male voice apologized and for a moment you couldn’t comprehend what had just happened. You turned to look at the someone in question with a dumb expression. There stood a guy of average height with fluffy brown hair and a warm and smiling face. Absentmindedly you stared at the single long earring that dangled from his left ear.

      “Did I make you mad? I didn’t mean to.” The guy explained with a humorous smile and just then you realize he was talking to you.

      “I’m not mad.” You mumbled and the guy giggled at the dull way you said it.

      “Haha, I’m relieved” he laughed and began walking away “See you around?” He waved and when you reciprocated the gesture a sweet smile stretched his face, finally turning his back to you. You watched him walk down to the front of the room and sit down. He had a nice posture and carried himself with confidence, but that earring still captured your attention until you lost sight of it.

      Your lectures came and went one after the other and after that you went straight to work. Nothing particularly spectacular happened that evening and you went home only to be terrorized by your ambiguous and repetitive dreams all night long. That’s how the next couple of days played out too. Yara was still sick as a mutt and every now and then you would email her the notes you had halfheartedly taken during the lectures you two shared.

      Today however was your day off of work and honestly you felt kind of lost after your lectures ended. You didn’t want to go home, because you knew you would fall asleep and have nightmares again. Taking a walk was out of the question as it was pouring rain and you didn’t really want to waste gas on driving. You would have gone to visit Yara, but becoming sick on top of your by now chronical exhaustion wasn’t something you wanted to go through.

      That’s how you found yourself sitting alone on a table for two at your local coffee shop. Your hot cup of bitter black coffee was keeping you company as you watched customers come in and out of the café. A shiny new psychology textbook lay open on the table in front of you and every now and then you forced yourself to read a paragraph or two. Yawns tumbled out of your mouth lazily as you read some article about mental illness. ‘Symptoms of depression include, but are not limited to: isolation from friends and family, inability to concentrate, reliance on alcohol or sedatives, feeling unhappy, guilty or overwhelmed, irritability, headaches and muscle pain, exhaust- ‘Before you could try and self-diagnose yourself someone interrupted you.

      “Hey, is this seat taken?” You looked up from your textbook to see a familiar face. The guy from a few days ago smiled down at you warmly. You looked around the nearly empty café and wondered why he decided to come over to you.

      “Sure?”

      Once he was seated across form you, he extended his hand and politely introduced himself “I’m Park Jimin. We have psychology together.” You completed the handshake, but didn’t know what to say to him. He mistook your awkward silence for confusion and explained further

      “I’m the ass that bumped into you a couple days ago.” That managed to pull a laugh from you and he seemed pleased.

      “Yeah, I remember you. I was just wondering why you decided to sit with me.” You clarified

      His smile turned sheepish “Because you’re cute and looked like you needed some company?” You weren’t expecting that answer and just stared at him dumbfounded.

      “I may or may not need some help with psychology, too.”

      “Oh, so there’s the catch.” You remarked sarcastically.

      “Not at all. Everything I said is true. I do think you’re really cute and do really suck at psychology.” That sneaky smile made its way on his face again. “In all fairness, I didn’t come here to ask you to tutor me… I just happen to see you alone all around campus lately and today fate brought us together. Will you at least tell me your name?”

      “I’m y/l/n y/n. We have psychology together and the chair your ass bumped into was mine.” You imitated with a grin that Jimin seemed to take a liking to. He was very confident and also unexpectedly flirty. The next hour or two you got lost in his jokes and remarks as you two got to know each other. You talked about so many things, but in hind sight you couldn’t gather much personal information about him. All you learned was that he was born in Busan and moved to your small town with his family. He refrained from sharing more, which was fair enough, you thought.

      When the sun started to set, Jimin offered you a ride home which you politely declined. When it was time to leave, he paid for your coffee without asking and silenced your protests with a dazzling smile. Outside the shop he unexpectedly wrapped his arms around your middle and pressed your body into his in a gentle hug. Out of instinct your arms quickly made their way around his shoulders. After a moment he pulled back, but didn’t let go of your body completely. His warm palms rested on your waist as he looked fondly into your eyes.

      “Thank you for sharing this afternoon with me.” He mumbled and for the first time since you spoke to him you noticed his pointed canine teeth. His plump lips formed every syllable with care. You were staring at his mouth which was at your eye level. He quickly caught on to what you were doing and moved to lean in for a kiss. You flinched, suddenly realizing the situation you had gotten yourself into. Your heart sank and you were quick to push your hands against his chest. Jimin didn’t insist further and immediately withdrew. You were expecting to see bitterness when you went you look into his eyes, but instead he chuckled, baring his teeth.

      “Ah, sorry. I got a little carried away.” And there they were, his canines, just slightly sharper than the average man’s. His hands dropped from your body and he took a step back. A darker smile now played on his lips. Jimin didn’t look angry in the slightest, perhaps amused would be the correct word.

      “I’m sorry if I-” you started but he cut you off

      “You didn’t do anything, dear.” He pronounced the pet name slowly, deliberately “I just got the wrong impression. Perhaps it was wishful thinking.”

      You looked like a deer in headlights. Your heart was drumming loudly in your chest. Jimin smirked at you, standing tall with his hands in his pockets and you felt like you were expected say something. Your mind went blank, try as you might you couldn’t come up with an answer. A few seconds passed like that until Jimin finally released his hold on you with a deep sigh of his own. His familiar sweet smile plastered on his face as he cocked his head to the side.

      “Well, thank you again for allowing me to keep you company. Don’t be shy and come say hi next time you see me, ok?”

      You nodded.

      “Before I leave, would you like me to walk you to your car?” he offered, but you declined. “Good night then. I’ll see you around? I mean it.” He emphasized the last part with a quirk of his brow and you managed to crack one last smile for him before waving goodbye.

      The next few days your accidental encounters with Jimin around campus became a little too frequent for you to chalk it up to chance. It was becoming blatantly obvious that he was deliberately seeking you out. One day you would be walking out of class and he would be leaning against the wall, offering to walk you to wherever it was you were going. The next day you would be climbing out of your truck, hurrying to enter the university and escape the cold, when you would hear him jogging behind you, calling your name.

      “Good morning!” he would greet happily and ask about your schedule for the day. Without fail, every chance he got he would ask “So, do you want to hang out again sometime? I really enjoyed your company last time!” And your chest would tighten upon hearing his confession.

      At first glance Jimin was the embodiment of a perfect man. He was fit and very attractive, had a great fashion sense and knew exactly what to say in every situation. He was always the perfect gentleman as well, never once getting hostile after you rejected his advances on multiple occasions. He was so polite, always watching his mouth in your presence and you truly enjoyed his company. There was something about him however that didn’t quite sit right with you. Jimin was incredibly persistent when it came to taking you out. The first few times you declined his offer you truly were busy, but as time went by you started to notice that his determination wasn’t faltering in the slightest. In your previous experiences, guys became discouraged after several failed attempts, but Jimin was different. You couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that it was so bizarre that he could go for any other girl on campus with great success, but instead he was stuck trying to get to you. He had made it undoubtedly clear that he was interested in you, sneaking compliments into casual conversations. The look he gave you after you pushed him away at the café still lingered in the back of your mind. Jimin had accepted the challenge you had unknowingly thrown at him. In that sense he resembled a predator, determined to snatch you up, the prey he had laid his eyes on and immediately knew he wanted. That realization had you keeping your distance as much as possible. There was also the heaviness you carried in your chest every time you caught him following the curve of your body or every time his compliments came sounding an octave lower than usual. There was a darkness hiding under the surface of Park Jimin’s friendly smile.

      Deep in the pit of your heart a dull pain buzzed every time Jimin pushed his hair back or crinkled his eyes with laughter, small gestures that reminded you of a different guy you were still yearning to see. Today marked the fifteenth day since you last saw Jeon Jungkook and you secretly hated yourself for counting. Yara was back from her brief vacation under the weather and she wasted no time and started pulling information out of your mouth.

      “What’s up with you and random hot guys when I’m not around, huh?” She gasped “Am I cock-blocking you?!”

      You couldn’t help the giggle that tumbled form your mouth. “Now that I think about it, you might be!”

      “That’s it, I’m leaving! Don’t contact me until you get laid!” Yara scrambled, pretending to gather her things and at that point you were full on cackling. “I’m serious, if that’s really the case, I will gladly let a beautiful boy take my place as your faithful companion in life!”

      You wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a side hug. “Nuuu!” You whined and both of you bursted into a cheerful fit of laughter. Yara was slapping your knee, gasping for air and losing her shit after hearing your occasional involuntary snort. It was so good to have her back. Tears were beading in the corners of your eyes until you felt a warm caress on the back of your neck. You quickly whipped your head around to see who it was, your arm falling off of Yara’s back in the process. Towering over your seated frame was none other than Park Jimin. He cocked his head to the side and grinned down at you, his hand comfortably resting on the junction between your neck and shoulder. You gulped when you felt his thumb stroking the cloumn your throat.

      “Speak of the devil…” Yara slipped up and you coughed awkwardly

      “Jimin? I thought you didn’t take this class.”

      His smile widened to show his teeth and he hummed “I don’t, but I heard sweet laughter while passing by and decided to check it out.” Your heart dropped when you saw him lick his lips. You probably had the same look on your face as when he tried to kiss you, because his eyes were locked onto yours, dark and sinister. “When will you let me take you out again, hm?”

      A beat of silence and then you tried to speak, but someone cleared his throat behind Jimin. Your adrenaline spiked when you saw messy dark hair peeking a good two inches’ over Jimin’s head. He abruptly turned around, revealing Jungkook’s larger frame. The moment you laid eyes on him, it felt like you had been missing him for months. He looked so good, wearing ripped blue jeans and a black hoodie, his hair had also grown longer in the time he’d been away. You immediately caught the faint scent of cigarette smoke, wafting from his body and warmth filled your chest. His face was taut, dark eyes staring into Jimin who was standing no more than a foot away. The latter was wearing a broad smile, but some other emotion played behind it.

      “Jungkook-ah, it’s been a while. How have you been?” Jimin spoke first, smooth and steady.

      “I’m fine. What are you up to, hyung?” Hearing his voice for the first time made you straighten in your seat.

      “Oh, you know I’m always busy.” Jimin chuckled “Actually, I’m in the middle of something right now.”

      “I don’t think so.”

      “Oh?” Jimin’s eyebrows shot up in feigned surprise “But I was just talking to lovely y/n here. I don’t think you know-”

      Jungkook cut in with a clenched jaw “I do know her.” Chills rattled your spine when you managed to catch the rumble of irritation in his chest. You weren’t the only one to notice, however.

      “Jungkook-ah, is something wrong? You seem awfully tense?” Jimin cocked his head “Am I doing something wrong?” When the younger didn’t answer, he smirked darkly. Jimin was fully aware of Jungkook’s hostile aura toward him. His shoulders relaxed as he pressed his hand to the back of your neck again.

      “I don’t think she’s off limits, or am I wrong?” It was a subtle challenge, intended to jab at Jungkook’s unfavorable position. Even though the exchange revolved around you, you subconsciously knew you had no say in it. You watched Jungkook intently, waiting for his response. He sighed, shoulders pulling back and spine straightening. His lips tugged into a smirk of his own and your heart leaped.

      “Hyung, I’m afraid that’s not for you do decide.”

      Your pulse skyrocketed as your gaze jumped form one man to the other. Jimin wasn’t smiling anymore when the feeling his touch left your skin. He shoved his hands in his pockets, eyes coldly staring into Jungkook’s.

      “Anyway, y/n my offer still stands if you’re up for it.” Still, he didn’t look at you “I’m heading out now, but I’ll definitely see you around.” You weren’t sure who he was talking to at this point as he turned on his heel and simply walked away. Surprisingly, the brief exchange hadn’t attracted much attention from your classmates and you were thankful. You turned to look at his retreating figure in bewilderment. What was this all about?

      Cold fingers gently pressed to the underside of your chin and turned your head. You were surprised to find Jungkook’s soft brown eyes giving you all of his attention for the first time in a while.

      “Can I sit with you?” when his hand retreated from your face you could feel it heating up rapidly. You scrambled to move to the next chair over to make room for him. Yara quickly did the same and you reminded yourself to thank her for keeping her mouth shut throughout the whole ordeal.

      That’s how you stayed for the next hour and a half for the duration of the lecture. Jungkook’s shoulder lightly brushed yours every time he moved and you found yourself unable to focus on the professor’s words anymore. The scuffle with Jimin from earlier plus the fact that you were finally close to Jungkook again had your suddenly overwhelmed. Every once in a while you would steal sideways glances at him and sometimes he would catch you doing it. His response immediately came in the form a soft smile that warmed you from the inside.

      Classes ended quickly and painlessly today with Jungkook by your side. Somewhere along the way Yara had excused herself with a pat to your back and lots of questions and remarks burning on the tip of her tongue. Jungkook too remained mostly silent, following close behind you and occasionally brushing his hand delicately down the curve of your back. After all of your lectures were finished, you found yourself mindlessly walking around campus. The air was crisp and humid from the rain that had poured in the morning. The dull slapping of your wet shoes this time was accompanied by another pair. Jungkook strode beside you with his hands in his jean pockets and messy hair covered by his large hood. You somehow managed to think about everything and nothing all at the same time, and the overwhelming desire to voice all of your thoughts got stuck in your throat. You didn’t know where your boundaries with Jungkook stood exactly and you were afraid to scare him away with questions he might find intrusive. Now that you finally had him within an arm’s reach, suppressed emotion threatened to spill through the cracks of your crumbling walls. Instead of opening your mouth, you bit your tongue and trudged forward wordlessly. Heart throbbing wildly had you short of breath and, as much as you tried to disguise it, Jungkook quickly caught on.

      “Are you okay?” He stopped abruptly and peeked down at you under the edge of his hood.

      Pink dusted your frozen cheeks “Yeah, I just seem to tire out easily lately.”

      Jungkook stared at you for a few moments longer, face neutral and unreadable. He hooked his arm around your shoulders and made a beeline for the nearby benches, surrounding the small fountain that could be found in every stereotypical college campus. Everything was wet, but Jungkook seemed unbothered as he wiped the water off of the top of the backrest with his palm and quickly stepped on the seat and sat down. You followed suit, grimacing slightly when the remaining droplets melted into the butt of your jeans. Jungkook was quick to wrap his arm back around you and pull you into his side. His warmth wasn’t something you knew your craved until it started seeping into your skin. The faint breath of cigarette smoke complimented his natural clean scent and almost compelled you to relax into him. You both stared at the old fountain that had been out of order for years. From your spot on top of the bench you could see copper coins lining the bottom like a mosaic and it made you think of all the unspoken wishes that plopped into the cold water and sank to the bottom. While you stared at the water, Jungkook watched you from the corner of his eye.

      “What have you been up to lately?” You finally spoke up when the pounding in your ears became unbearable. Seconds of silence dripped between the two of you and your body became rigid with anxiousness. You stared at his profile from the corner of your eye, breathless your heart was pounding even harder than before. Silent still, Jungkook’s arm started slipping off of your shoulders. Losing his comforting warmth made your chest constrict uncomfortably. A lump immediately lodged itself into your throat at the thought that you had crossed a line, no matter how innocent and unassuming your question had sounded in your head. Your face was burning. Shit, you dove head first into the exact situation you were trying to avoid.

      Jungkook reached into his back pocket and the snap of his lighter brought your attention back to him. You watched as he took a drag from his cigarette, the crackling of tobacco sounding obnoxiously loud in your deprived mind. He blew a puff of smoke and the wind carried it straight into your face, making your eyes sting with tears. You squeezed them shut, trying to avoid embarrassing yourself on top of everything. Inhale, hold, exhale, you listened to his breathing pattern for a few more drags until he sighed heavily.

      “Nothing worth mentioning.” Your shriveled heart lurched back into life upon hearing him finally answer the god-forsaken question. “I went out of town for a while. How have you been?”

      “Same as always…” your voice cracked and Jungkook pretended not to notice, staring straight ahead. At this point you were desperate to keep some sort of conversation going. “There’s not too much going on around here.”

      “I didn’t know you knew Park.” Jungkook suddenly blurted out.

      “Jimin?”

      Jungkook took a particularly deep drag from his cigarette, making the ash break off the end and fall between his parted thighs.

      “We have psychology together and went out for coffee once.” You felt embraced admitting to the last part, face heating up when you heard Jungkook exhale sharply through his nose.

      “He took you out on a date?”

      “Well, not exactly.” You were squirming against the undisguised hostility, radiating off of him “We just ran into each other at the café. I was alone and he just said he wanted to keep me company. That’s all.” You decided to cut the hug and attempted kiss out, because you felt like that would only make Jungkook angrier.

      In the ensuing minutes of uncomfortable silence, a realization suddenly hit you. Why were you suddenly compelled to spill your guts in front of him? Especially when you didn’t want to invade his privacy with your much simpler question earlier. Was it really his place to chew you out after disappearing for two whole weeks? You swallowed down your initial embarrassment and hit him with a question of your own.

      “What’s the deal with you two anyway?”

      Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and, for the first time in what felt like forever, he turned to look at you. You stubbornly stared back at him with a tiny scowl as wonderment and now mild irritation swirled in his deep brown irises. His face softened almost immediately and he leaned in toward you.

      “I like that expression on you, you know?” As he spoke, smoke spilled from his mouth. Because of his close proximity, you managed to involuntarily inhale every last bit of it. It made you choke and sputter as the taste burned your throat. When you looked back up, Jungkook had retreated back to his original spot and wore a soft smirk. Your face was red hot and soft coughs still rattled your chest.

      “That was the weirdest shotgun kiss I’ve ever had.” Jungkook remarked lightly

      “What?”

      Your flustered state was all too entertaining for Jungkook and he couldn’t disguise his tender laughter. “Haven’t you heard of a shotgun kiss?”

      You remained silent, looking at him like he’d just grown a second head. He was having the time of his life, taking in every detail of your bewilderment.

      “That’s when you blow smoke into another person’s mouth, it’s called a shotgun kiss.” He explained and pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. You were immediately drawn to the motion and unconsciously mimicked it. Slowly, you began to shift your eyes over his face, caressing his porcelain features with careful attention. You could almost feel his gaze gliding along your skin in a similar manner.

      “Fuck!”

      You were suddenly startled when Jungkook jerked his arm in the air with a yell. The cigarette butt flew from his hand and by the way he sucked on the side of his forefinger you could safely assume it had burnt him. Try as you might, you couldn’t suppress the chuckle that slipped past your lips.

      “That damn thing was cursed from the start.” Upon hearing your remark, Jungkook cracked a smile of his own.

      The atmosphere was back to normal between the two of you and, as weird as the sudden mood swings were, you didn’t want to ponder over it right now.

[nocturnal-jeon]

𝚍𝚊𝚍!𝚋𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ➛ 𝚜/𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑

barely proofread oops

Kim Namjoon

Namjoon, the research god, spent hours at his laptop ever since you told him that you were pregnant. He just needed to know everything about pregnancy and infants so that he was emotionally and factually prepared for whatever would arise during your pregnancy. 

He would visit medical centers to ask personalized questions and he would take notes. He was a team player, really. 

He studied all the different ways to give birth and when he came across the idea of a water birth. He was interested because he had never heard of it and he appreciated how it was seemingly one of the more natural ways to give birth. He wanted to know all there is to it before he presented the idea to you. 

And yes, he presented it. 

He created a slideshow and sat you in front of his laptop. He had pictures and quotes from doctors he visited and he explained all the pros and cons. Really, you were just amused to see Namjoon being so professional about this, but as he explained everything, you grew to love the idea. 

You went to run it by your mom to see what she thought. But since she was very old fashioned, she hated the idea and wanted you to just naturally push the baby out. You didn’t listen to your mom, though, because it wouldn’t be the first time that she disagreed with your lifestyle choices. Shit, every week your mom would call disappointed that Namjoon hadn’t proposed yet. 

But you were happy with where your life was at the moment. You felt that you didn’t need to get married to him to validate your love for him. Not that you didn’t want to get married with him, though. You would love to be married to Namjoon, but you were having a good time at the current spot in your relationship. 

You and Namjoon had been admitted to the hospital several hours ago since you felt your first contraction. Namjoon was out, but he met you at the hospital, tripping on his way into the room. 

With the help of the nurses and doctors, they lowered you into the tub, the warm water calming your aching body as the contractions kept coming. Namjoon wore swim shorts without a shirt as he sat in the tub with you, your back resting against his chest. You sad nestled in between his legs as his arms reached around your body and he rubbed your stomach. 

He placed soft kisses on your shoulder as your face contorted with each painful contraction. “You’re doing amazing, baby. Just keep breathing,” Namjoon whispered into your ear. Though the warm water was comforting, Namjoon was the best pain medication. 

You chose to not have any pain medicine, which seemed crazy to some, but you and Namjoon wanted to go the natural route. You leaned your head back and sniffled, the pain intensifying. “Hey,” Namjoon softly said turning to look at you. “I know it hurts. You can always get pain medicine and there’s nothing wrong about that,” he explained, rubbing your stomach. You nodded, but swallowed the pain. 

After you rode through the first stage of labor, Namjoon got out of the tub and watched as they prepared you for birth. Namjoon watched with proud eyes. He thought you were the strongest person ever.

You began to push, the nurses and doctors aiding you. Your screams echoed through the private room Namjoon paid hundreds of dollars for just so that you and his baby boy were comfortable. He rubbed your back as you screamed at the top of your lungs, the pain of childbirth taking a toll on your body. 

You pushed, screamed, and agonized for hours. But once your son came out, screaming and crying loudly, you fell back into the water and breathed heavily. The nurses placed your son on your chest and you rubbed his back, smiling. “Hi, darling,” you cooed. Namjoon scooted next to the tub and smiled. 

“He’s so beautiful,” Namjoon softly said. You turned to look at Namjoon. “We did that, Joon,” you said, tears brimming your eyes. “You know what I want to name him? I know I said I didn’t like this name, but I just didn’t want you to know you were right,” you admitted, causing Namjoon to chuckle. 

“What name is it, baby? I’ll let it pass since you just gave birth,” Namjoon said, smirking. “Ha-joon,” you whispered, turning to look at your little baby. “I knew you would love that one. But, yes, baby, I love it, too,” Namjoon joked, kissing your cheek. “I love you, y/n. You’re so strong, baby,” Namjoon lovingly said. “I love you too, darling. And little Ha-joon, too,” you mumbled, placing a soft kiss to your son’s head. 

Kim Seokjin

You were simply walking down the hallway, making your way to the bedroom to lay down when you felt wet liquid drip down your leg. At first you thought that you peed yourself, but when you felt a sharp pain in the side of your stomach, you knew your water had broke. 

“Jin,” you called out, hunching over and grabbing your stomach as the worst pain you’ve ever felt rocked your body. Jin emerged from the bedroom, confused, but at the sight of your body hunched over in such a way, a puddle at your feet, he had a feeling what was going on.

“I think you’re in labor, baby,” he said with a smile, excited that it was finally happening. You were amazed at how calm and collected Jin was, but then again, he had been imagining and planning this day for nine months. 

“Here. Let’s get you to the car,” Jin soothingly said as he helped walk you outside to the car. He helped you sit down and you smiled when you saw that all the bags and equipment was already in the car. Jin was so prepared. 

As he drove you to the hospital, he played Mozart through his phone. Jin, throughout your pregnancy, would play Mozart to your bump in hopes that it would seep through to the baby. The pain was at such a high level, though, that your hormones switched dramatically. 

After groaning loudly, you shouted, “Turn it off!” You were tired of hearing Mozart on repeat for so long. Jin respectively turned it off, not being offended at all by your tone. “Deep breaths,” Jin said in a relaxed voice, looking over at you for a split second before placing his eyes back on the road. 

Once the two of you arrived at the hospital, the nurses wheeled you inside as you groaned in agony. They brought you into a room and began monitoring you. Jin watched you with careful, supportive eyes. He held your and, his thumb rubbing the skin on the back of your hand. “You’ll be okay. Just think of the outcome,” Jin softly said, causing you to smile a bit. 

And once you started pushing, you kept Jin’s words in your mind. Think of the outcome. Think of the outcome. Think of the outcome. Jin rubbed your back as you pushed, screaming and groaning. It hurt Jin to see you in such a state, but he took his own advice. Think of the outcome. 

And when your son was resting on your chest, you realized the outcome was worth it. As Jin held him after you, he couldn’t help himself. “Yah! He’s so handsome,” Jin exclaimed, causing you to playfully roll your eyes. The boys walked into the room and gasped when they saw the little baby nestled in Jin’s arms. 

“He’s adorable, guys,” Namjoon whispered as he gazed down at the baby. “What’s his name?” Jungkook asked. “Jae-jin,” Jin announced, causing all the boys to smile and nod. “It fits him,” Hoseok explained. 

The boys spent around an hour and a half in the room, talking and interacting with the baby, but you couldn’t help but sigh playfully when he made the boys wash their hands, put sanitizer on, lotion, and then a face mask on when it was their turn to hold Jae-jin. 

And once the boys left, Jin scooted into the bed with you and held his son on his bare chest, wanting the skin to skin contact. 

“How did you remain so calm?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder and looking down at Jae-jin. “I thought of the outcome. I really did. This is the best day of my life and I wanted to be calm enough to remember it,” Jin explained in a soft voice, careful of waking up the baby. You kissed his shoulder. 

“I hope he inherits that from you. I was losing my shit,” you joked. He smiled. “He inherited my worldwide looks, didn’t he?” Jin said, a smirk on his lips. “I set myself up for that, didn’t I?” you said. He nodded. “You really did,” he joked, causing you to giggle. 

Min Yoongi

This baby would not come. You were a week past your due date and this little girl would not come. 

You tried literally every home remedy to induce labor, but nothing would work. It was incredibly frustrating for you, but Yoongi just found it hilarious. He would find it funny when you went for a walk and came back completely fine or when you ate spicy food and all you got was a mouth on fire. 

“Yoongi,” you whined as you stood in the doorway of his studio. Your hand was placed on your lower back and your other hand was leaning against the doorframe. Taking off is headphones, Yoongi turned around and looked at you. The way he looked at you was different now. He loved you more, if that was even possible, ever since you got pregnant. 

“What are you doing up, baby? Come sit,” he lightly scolded as he stood up and guided you over to the couch and helped you sit down. Pulling up his chair, he sat down across from you and lifted your bare feet onto his thighs.  

His ringed fingers rubbed the soles of your feet as you threw your head back and let out a loud moan. Yoongi chuckled and pressed deeper into the sore skin. “What’s wrong, darling? Hm?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. You rubbed your massive stomach and looked at him, an adorable pout on your lips. 

“She won’t come and I don’t know what else to do,” you whined. Yoongi frowned. “My little baby is just as stubborn as me,” he joked, causing you to chuckle momentarily. “Yoongi, I’m serious. Can you call my doctor and ask her what to do?” you requested. 

“Of course,” he replied as he reached into his pocket to grab his phone. As he was searching for his contact, he looked down at your feet surprisingly when he felt your food poke him in the stomach. “I didn’t say you could stop rubbing,” you pointed out, causing him to let out a deep chuckle. “Give me a second and I’ll give you the best foot rub,” he said as he put the phone to his ear, waiting for it to stop ringing. 

“What, you haven’t been doing your best this whole time?” you asked, your raging hormones causing an immediate switch in your mood. Yoongi balanced the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he used both hands to rub your aching feet. 

You smiled and yet let out yet another moan of relief. 

Yoongi spoke to your doctor for a few minutes before thanking her and hanging up. 

“So, looks like we have to take a trip to the hospital just so they can figure out what’s stalling the labor,” he said, causing your eyes to widen. “Hey, don’t get nervous. We’re just taking a car ride, that’s it,” Yoongi said soothingly. You nodded and he drove to the hospital, his hand on your belly the entire time. 

As you sat in a hospital bed, the ugly gown on, the nurse came in to take basic information like temperature and stuff like that. Yoongi sat beside your bed and watched the nurse with hard eyes, his protection towards his daughter domineering his emotions. 

“I’ll be right back with the doctor,” the nurse said, shooting a smile towards both you and Yoongi, though Yoongi didn’t return even as much as a glance. His eyes were on you and your bump. 

“Yoongi, lighten up, babe,” you said, reaching over to hold his hand. He held it and brought it close to his mouth, placing a warm kiss. “Sorry, I’m just nervous,” he admitted, looking up at you. “What happened to, “it’s just a car ride?”” you teased. “Shut up,” Yoongi said, causing you to giggle. 

“Hello. Since nothing seems to get this little girl to move, we’re just going to induce labor,” the doctor said once she entered the room. You nodded and they did their thing. 

And after probably three hours of contractions, the worst pain you’ve ever felt, you had to endure even more pain to push your little girl out. Yoongi was there the entire time, holding back his own bouts of pain when you squeezed the life out of his hand. 

Your screams rang through Yoongi’s ears and he felt horrible that you had to put your body through intense pain for several hours while he got to just sit there. But as soon as you heard the wailing of your daughter, you knew each minute you lived in agony was worth it. 

As the nurses cleaned her and swaddled her, Yoongi grabbed a rag and wiped your forehead and your face to get rid of the sweat. “You’re so strong, baby. I’m so proud of you,” Yoongi murmured before kissing your forehead. “Here’s your little baby girl. Congratulations,” one of the nurses said as she carefully handed you your daughter. With the help of Yoongi, you sat up and held her securely in your arms. 

You looked down at her small face and smiled. “Hi, angel,” you whispered. Yoongi watched you with a massive amount of love in his eyes as he stared at the most important things in his life: his girls. 

“Yoongi, do you wanna hold her?” you asked, turning to look at Yoongi who was watching intently. He nodded and gently took her out of your arms, supporting her head as he leaned back in his chair. 

“Hey, baby girl. Welcome to our fucked up family,” he joked, causing you to gasp. “Min Yoongi, language,” you scolded, causing him to smirk. Yoongi stared at her face and admired everything about her. He loved how small everything was. Her nose was identical to yours, but so much tinier. 

“So, parents, have we decided on a name?” one of the nurses asked as she held her certificate. You and Yoongi looked at each other, having a conversation with your eyes.

But after about twenty seconds, you nodded and he did too, the cutest grin on his smile. 

“Min Min-ah,” you said, looking up at the nurse. She smiled and wrote it down before leaving the room. 

Yoongi held your daughter for an hour and placed her in her own little hospital crib before he hovered over your bed and kissed you softly. “Get some rest, baby. You deserve it,” he whispered. You nodded and tried to get as comfortable as you could and you quickly fell asleep. 

But that night, Yoongi didn’t sleep one wink. He kept his eyes on you and Min-ah, not risking the smallest thing. 

Jung Hoseok

You and Hoseok were relaxing in the house on a cold rainy day. It was his day off and the one thing that he wanted to do was spend some much needed time with you and the baby. At first, when he woke up, he made you breakfast in bed. 

He knew that you were having a rough time sleeping, so he wanted to give you a nice meal that would energize you. He made you a bowl of fruit with a few pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice. While he wanted you to be full, he wanted you and the baby to be healthy. 

Slowly opening the door, he couldn’t help but smile at your sleeping figure on the bed. You were resting on your back, your legs sprawled out with your shirt exposing three quarters of your stomach. Seemingly nothing fit you these days.

“Good morning, darling,” he chirped happily as he spread the blinds open, letting in the bright light. You groaned on the bed and squinted, covering your eyes. “Why is it so bright?” you whined. Hoseok chuckled and helped you sit up in bed. “I made you and little sunshine in there some breakfast,” he explained as he placed the tray on your lap. You smiled and rubbed your eyes. 

“God, you are perfect,” you sighed happily before shoving a spoonful of fruit into your mouth. Your head dropped back as you chewed, a smile on your lips the whole time. 

Hoseok saw this as an example to clean some things up around the house. Firstly, he made his side of the bed and put all of the dirty clothes into the hamper. He then cleaned up the small mess he made in the kitchen and tidied up the living room. 

Meanwhile, you sat in bed and ate your food, beyond grateful for Hoseok. At first, you thought your baby was kicking you to let you know he liked the food. But the pain grew to be too much and you couldn’t help but groan. Since Hoseok was downstairs, he had his ears trained to listen for your voice. So he heard that groan. 

Dropping the pillow he was fluffing, he ran up the stairs, skipping three steps at a time. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, rushing over and putting the tray of food on the floor so it didn’t spill. “I think I’m having contractions,” you mumbled, clutching at your stomach. Hoseok’s face lit up. “That means our baby is coming. My son is coming. Holy shit!” Hoseok exclaimed, his hands coming up to hold his face. Normally, you would watch him and smile, finding him absolutely adorable, but you were in so much pain that you just couldn’t admire him. 

“Hoseok!” you shouted, getting his attention. “I need you to get the bags and all the stuff we prepared and put it in the car,” you instructed through gritted teeth as you tried to manage the pain. He immediately lunged to get your hospital bag, but he looked up at you. “What about you? I shouldn’t leave you here,” he explained, more stressed than excited, at this point. 

“I’m fine on the bed it’s comfortable. But go put the stuff in the car,” you said. He nodded and sprinted to grab everything he knew you would need and he practically jumped down the stairs and ran to the car, putting everything inside. 

Just as fast, if not faster, Hoseok ran upstairs and carried you to the car. Yes, carried. He thought it would be better if you didn’t walk and he was just so excited that it motivated him and energized him. 

Once he arrived at the hospital, he excitedly called the boys to come to hospital as the nurses and doctors took care of you. 

And when push came to shove (see what i did there. PUSH hehehe), Hoseok was like a trainer in the delivery room. He was cheering you on, praising you every two minutes. He was like an overly enthusiastic parent on the sidelines of a soccer game. It annoyed you a little, to be honest, but you knew it was his way of masking how nervous he was. So you let him carry on. 

And after you pushed for the last time and your son came out, screaming as loud as Hoseok, you fell back and breathed heavily. Hoseok clapped. He clapped like he was at a concert. The nurses found his cheerleader-like actions adorable. “You did so well! I’m so proud of you!” he praised as he leaned down and kissed your head. 

They cleaned off your son and just as they were handing him to you, you shook your head. “I know his daddy is really excited to meet him,” you said, a sweet smile on your face. The nurse smiled back and turned to Hoseok, who sat up straight in his chair, his arms ready. And as the nurse instructed him on how to properly hold your baby, Hoseok fell silent. 

His eyes examined his son. His mini me. He had all of Hoseok’s features, but as soon as his little boy opened his eyes, he saw your eyes. His body grew warm as he smiled down at the best thing to ever happen to him. 

“Here, baby. You can hold him. You pushed him out, after all,” Hoseok gently said in a quiet voice as he stood up and carefully placed his baby in your arms. You looked down at him, feeling as though you were staring at a mirror imagine of Hoseok. 

“Hey, little guy,” you cooed, all the pain you went through worth it. 

“Baby. You know what name I really like for him?” Hoseok said, standing over you and watching with a smile, his hands in his pockets. “What is it?” you asked, not taking your eyes off of your son.

“Yun-seok,” he announced. You looked at your son and saw that the name fit him perfectly. “I love it, Hobi,” you whispered. Slowly, Hoseok placed a kiss on your head and kneeled down so that his face was closer to the baby. “Little Yun-seok,” he murmured, placing a delicate kiss on his forehead. 

 Park Jimin

You and Jimin were peacefully sleeping in bed. Well, Jimin was. You were laying on your side, a pillow under your stomach to cushion it, and you were trying your best to remain asleep for more than ten minutes before waking up. As you looked at the time, you sighed when you saw that it was only 3am.

Suddenly, you let out a heart-wrenching scream filled to the brim with pain. Jimin quickly rolled over and looked at you with worry written all over his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, turning on the lamp beside him and sitting up. He helped you sit up, but you screamed out in pain, holding onto your stomach in pure agony.

“It hurts a lot. I don’t know why, Jimin,” you whined, a few stray tears pouring out of your eyes. “Let me bring you to the hospital, baby. “Do you think you can walk?” he asked, but your response was just another scream of agony. “I’ll just call an ambulance,” Jimin frantically said as he searched for his phone and called 911. 

Jimin watched you with wide eyes as he rubbed your stomach soothingly.  “What hurts, baby?” he asked, tears in his eyes as he watched you. “My stomach,” you whined. “It’s okay. They’re on their way,” Jimin said. 

On the way to the hospital in the ambulance, Jimin called the boys and told them to meet him at the hospital for support. They rushed you through the ER as your loud groans practically filled the hospital. Jimin watched with wide eyes the entire time. 

And as the doctor checked over you and the baby, Jimin nibbled on his nails nervously as he gave the medical professionals their space. They did an ultrasound and Jimin’s eyes smiled as he looked at his baby on the screen, but that smile disappeared quickly when he saw the look on the doctor’s face. 

“We have to rush her to the OR,” the doctor announced to the nurses in the room. Your eyes widened. “OR? As in operating room?” you asked worriedly, trying your best to sit up. “It’s a good thing we did the ultrasound. The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby’s throat, which is constricting the flow of oxygen. So I’m going to perform an emergency c-section,” the doctor explained, already pushing the bed out of the room. 

Jimin jogged up to you and brought his face close to yours. “You’ll be okay. I’ll be right out here waiting for you,” Jimin said. But you didn’t respond since you were groaning painfully. 

When they took you where Jimin couldn’t go, a nurse led him to a waiting room. In the waiting room were the boys, who were all sitting or standing, worried, too. “Hey, what’s going on?” Namjoon asked when he saw Jimin. All the boys gathered. “She’s getting a c-section because the cord is around the baby’s throat and she can’t breathe,” Jimin spoke, looking at the floor. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that-” Jin began, but he stopped speaking when Jimin began sobbing uncontrollably. His knees weakened and Taehyung practically caught him. Jimin sobbed into Taehyung’s chest, a fear he didn’t even know he could have, making his heart rattle. 

“What if she’s not okay? What if my girls aren’t okay?” Jimin asked, tears streaming down his face. “She’ll be okay,” Jungkook said, rubbing Jimin’s back. “Both of them will be okay,” Hoseok said. Jimin was a hot mess for about twenty minutes. And then proceeded to wait with the boys for two and a half long hours. 

When the nurse came out, Jimin stood up immediately and speed walked over to her. “Mom and baby are both okay,” she said, causing Jimin to breathe out a loud sigh of relief. “I’ll take you to see them and then your company can come in a few minutes,” the nurse explained before she guided Jimin to your room. 

“Hey, Jimin,” you spoke, your small angel in your arms. “Hi, darling. How do you feel?” he asked as he slowly approached you, sparkling eyes. “Better now that she’s here,” you said, a small smile on your face as you looked down at your daughter. 

“Do you wanna hold her?” you asked. He nodded and gently held the baby, sitting down in a chair next to the bed you rested in. “Hi, ladybug,” Jimin cooed, using his thumb to softly stroke her head. “You gave me and mommy quite the scare,” he teased, causing you to giggle. “But you’re perfect. You’re beyond perfect, ladybug,” he whispered. Slowly, the boys filed in, first going to you to give you a hug and congratulate you. 

“Aww, look at that little angel,” Jin complimented as he kneeled down to look at her close up. “What’s her name?” Yoongi asked, looking between you and Jimin. “Ae-min,” you said, causing all the boys to ‘aww’. 

“Park Ae-min. It suits her beautifully,” Hoseok said. Jimin nodded. “Her name may be Ae-min, but she’s my little ladybug,” Jimin spoke, looking straight down at the best thing to have ever resulted from his relationship with you. 

Kim Taehyung 

You and Taehyung had a very distinct plan for the birth and you had all the preparations made. The car seats were in the car, your bag and a bag for the babies was in the trunk, and you always had your phone on. 

Taehyung always had his phone on, too. 

He had been really good about making time for you and balancing work at the same time. How ironic was it that the one time Taehyung wasn’t with you that you began to feel contractions? You weren’t expecting this at all. You were only at 33 weeks. 

At first, the pain didn’t even get to you because you were numb with fear. You felt that because it was so early, something was surely wrong. You reached for your phone beside you on the couch and you called Taehyung immediately, but since he was in a meeting, he had his phone turned off. 

Frantically, you called 911 and held your stomach as you rode through the contractions, waiting for either Taehyung to call you back or for the ambulance to come. As you were laying down on a gurney in the ambulance, you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket, so you asked one of the medics to get it for you since your range of motion was limited due to your massive stomach. 

“Y/n? What’s going on? I got your texts? You’re in labor? What are you doing right now? Are you in the ambulance?” he quickly asked, obviously a whole lot more worried than you. “Tae, breathe. I am in the ambulance,” you said, biting hard on your lip when you felt another sharp pain. “I’ll meet you there,” he quickly said before hanging up. 

Somehow, when you arrived in the ER, Taehyung was there before the ambulance. You didn’t even want to ask how fast he was driving to manage to do that, but that didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was that he was there. 

“Hi, baby, and my babies. How do you feel, y/n?” he asked as he sat with you in your hospital room. You could see the worry in his eyes. “It hurts,” you breathed as you tried to get through the passing contraction. He stroked your head soothingly. “You got this, darling, just breathe,” he softly instructed. Both your heads shot up, however, when the doctor came in. 

“Well, it seems that your twins want to come a little early,” the doctor began, but Taehyung stopped listening after that as he stared down at the floor. You listened to the doctor speak and nodded occasionally, and after she left, you looked over at Taehyung. 

“Hey, don’t cry,” you softly said, reaching over to put your hand on his knee. “She said it’s normal for multiples to come a little early. They’ll be okay, Taehyung,” you said, heartbroken at the sight of Taehyung crying. When one of the nurses came in to check the machines, Taehyung stood up and placed his head in the crook of your neck to hide his face, though it was obvious that he was crying. 

You rubbed his back and let him cry it out. “It’s going to be okay, Tae. I’ll be okay and the twins will be okay,” you said, kissing his shoulder blade. He nodded and brought his head back up, sniffling and wiping his eyes. 

It was hours before you were given the go-ahead to start pushing. And fuck, did it hurt. Taehyung watched with wide eyes, but he occasionally rubbed your back and kissed your head. You screamed bloody murder a good portion of birth, and as soon as the first baby was out, you collapsed back on the sea of pillows and breathed heavily. Taehyung watched as the nurses carried the little angel away to clean it. His eyes were filled with tears as he felt a whole different kind of love he had never felt before. 

“Alright, y/n, you gotta start pushing again,” the doctor instructed, and you pushed with all your might until the second baby came out, screaming just as loud as the other one. 

“You did so well, y/n. You did so well,” Taehyung complimented as he kissed your hands. “Who came out first?” you asked. “Your daughter,” the nurse said as she carried the small little infant over. She placed the tiny infant on your chest. You looked down at her and smiled, rubbing her back. “Hi,” you cooed. 

“Dad, would you like to hold your son?” the nurse asked, walking towards Taehyung with your son in her arms. Taehyung nodded excitedly, gently yet securely holding his son. 

“Why is he so small? Is this normal?” Taehyung asked, looking up worriedly at the nurse. “They’re premature, Mr. Kim. So after you two spend some time with them, I’d like to take them to the NICU,” the nurse said. 

Taehyung nodded and looked down at his son. His son. “My little prince,” he cooed, staring lovingly at the little baby in his arms. “They’re adorable,” you commented, placing the softest kiss ever on your daughter. Your daughter. 

“Can I hold my little princess?” Taehyung asked. You nodded and carefully, you exchanged babies. Taehyung’s heart melted as he set eyes on his little girl. His little girl. “I’ll protect you from everything, Taeyeon,” he mumbled, but you heard. “Taeyeon? You told me you hated that name,” you said, confused. 

“Yeah, but as I look at her, I realize how much it fits. Kim Taeyeon. Doesn’t she look like a Taeyeon?” he asked, causing you to giggle. “She does. And I think her brother looks like a Taeyong,” you said, holding your son closer to your chest. 

“Taeyeon and Taeyong. My little babies,” you said softly, a gentle smile on your face. “My prince and princess,” Taehyung whispered, placing a feather-like kiss on Taeyeon’s head. 

After an hour and a half of spending time with your babies, the nurse came to bring the twins to the NICU. Taehyung kissed your lips repeatedly. “They’ll be okay, right?” you asked, worried. “Hush, baby. Just sleep. Our little babies are going to be okay and so will you,” Taehyung whispered as he ran his fingers through your hair. 

You nodded and fell asleep to the sounds of Taehyung’s deep voice softly singing you to sleep. 

“Thank you for giving me the best gifts ever,” Taehyung whispered in your ear before he fell asleep. 

Jeon Jungkook

You sat in a comfortable chair in the corner of the dance practice room, your feet elevated on a stool. Your hand was rubbing your massive bump, a small smile on your face as you imagined how talented your son would be given how much skill and finesse Jungkook had. 

The song just ended and the boys stood in their ending poses, breathing heavily. Once they got the go-ahead to take a break, Jungkook walked right over to you. “How did I do?” Jungkook asked, kneeling beside you and placing his large hands on the sides of your protruding stomach. “Well, I thought you-” 

“Excuse me, but I was talking to my son,” Jungkook snarkily joked, causing you to gasp. “Rude,” you pouted. Jungkook immediately felt bad. “No, no. I was joking. I’m sorry, baby,” he muttered, reaching up to hold your face. Ever since you got pregnant, your hormones were out of control. Jungkook would give you a look that had no meaning, but you would think that he was mad at you and you would start crying.

It was a lot to handle. 

He placed a warm kiss to your forehead. “How do you feel?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as his thumbs stroked the skin on your cheek. “Just a little tired,” you admitted. “Maybe you should go home. I don’t you to get too tired,” Jungkook said, a slight frown on his lips. It was late at night, after all. “No, it’s okay. I have to finish this assignment anyway,” you said. You stood up and placed a kiss to his shoulder as you passed. 

You picked up your camera and began recording their dance practice, getting all the good angles and making sure the lighting was good. You slowly walked in front of the boys and got close ups of them as they sang their parts. 

But as you zoomed in on Taehyung, you felt a sharp pain in your stomach, causing you to drop the camera on the floor and hunch over. The boys stopped immediately and Taehyung looked at you worriedly. “Y/n?” he said. 

Jungkook jogged over to you and lowered himself so he could see your face. “What hurts? Is it the baby?” he asked, eyes wide. Suddenly, you felt something wet seep down your clothed legs and form a small puddle around you. “Did you just pee yourself?” Jungkook asked, a little disgusted, to be honest. 

“No, idiot, my water broke,” you groaned. Jungkook’s eyes got even wider. “Water? So like. Labor?” he asked, at a loss for words. Yes, he knew that you had to give birth at some point. But he didn’t know it would be right here in the practice room.

“Here, guys. I’ll drive. Neither of you is in any state to drive,” Taehyung said as he grabbed his keys. “We’ll meet you at the hospital!” Jimin shouted as Jungkook helped you walk outside to the car. The two of you sat in the backseat while Taehyung quickly yet safely drove the car to the hospital. 

Jungkook held onto your hand and watched sadly as your face contorted with each painful contraction. “You’ll be okay,” Jungkook soothingly said since he really didn’t know what else to say. 

He watched as the doctors loaded you onto a gurney and brought you to a room, making all the preparations for birth. And when the time came to push, Jungkook was beyond shocked at what was actually happening. His son was coming into the world. 

Jungkook made the mistake of peeking down to see what “crowning” meant. 

He regretted that decision immediately. He came back up with wide, scarred eyes as he allowed you to squeeze the life out of hands. And when his son came out and was placed on your chest, Jungkook’s eyes widened. 

“Hi, handsome boy,” you cooed as you rubbed his back. You nearly burst out laughing when you looked over at Jungkook’s face. “You’re a dad now, Kook,” you praised, causing him to smile a little.

Once the nurses cleaned him up and swaddled him, you sat up in bed with him in your arms. “Do you want to hold him?” you asked as you looked at your very scared fiancée. He looked up from his lap, do-eyed. “I-I don’t know how to,” he stuttered cutely. 

“Here, come sit next to me,” you said as you scooted over. Jungkook sat next to you on the hospital bed. “Hold out your arms,” you instructed. He did just that. You gently placed the baby in his arms. “Make sure you support his head,” you pointed out. Jungkook adjusted his arms so that he was comfortable and the baby was comfortable. Your heart warmed at the sight of your two babies bonding. 

Jungkook looked down at his face and immidiately fell in love. He looked just like Jungkook did when he was a baby. “Y/n,” he whispered, not wanting to disturb his son. “Yeah?”

“I want to name him Junghyun,” he muttered. You grinned. “I knew you would pick that one,” you said, chuckling to yourself. “I think it suits him,” you commented, using the pad of your thumb to gently rub the top of his head. 

“Y/n?” Jungkook said once again. 

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you. For this. Fatherhood,” he said, looking up at you. You smiled. “You’re going to be the best dad, Jungkook. I know it.”

[chocojjk]

Eggs

summary: badboy! changbin if you squint 

words: 7k

warnings: one mention of death by illness

a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this 

not edited per usual, im lazy :(((

you and changbin lived in different worlds

changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy

along with his group, 3racha

he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.

after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves

and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin

someone bullies one of his friends???

you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass

he catches you talking shit?

you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready

the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone

which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him

on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”

too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision

you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have  

and,,,

well,,,

you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it

your two different worlds are about to collide

---------------

youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library

you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc

‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him

“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile

changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left

you were left standing there like,,,

what the fuck just happened ??

before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him

catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement

and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be

every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them

the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche

he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable

the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare

finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”

the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away

god damn this was awkward

not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past

“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper

“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura

and with one final look at you, he walked out of there

you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault

‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library  

“dude are you okay?”

“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just saw you talking to changbin”

“ok and ?”

“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you

“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply

you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office

not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office

as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk

“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand

“ its nice to meet you”

“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her

sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”

phew

your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office

“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”

“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”

,,,,,

oh

(◎_◎;)

,,,

“umm, why me?”

“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”

well,,, she wasn't wrong

you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed

“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “

‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself 

“....and fully paid for.”

well, shit , how can you say no to that offer

its literally free education right in your fingertips  

what's the catch??

“ you can do that?” you ask

“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”

and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed

“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”

and there it is

“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son

“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”

“how do you expect me to do that?”

“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”

without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added

“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”

the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an

“ of course mam”

i guess from her standpoint, she made sense

“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”

“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”

“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”

hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself

greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago

he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )

he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit

and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin

his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes

putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision

the next day - friday

you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before

unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early

exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session

he wasn't going to get away this time

finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table

he doesn't say a word,

he doesn't even look at you

he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys

“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”

you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere

he scoffs at this

‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’

‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’

‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’

as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead

“should we start?” you continue

“i guess”

for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring

he was definitely smarter than he lead on

he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying 

“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”

he just nods at you, urging you to go on

“are you failing your class on purpose?”

and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”

“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you  

-----------

as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class

but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it

is this what privileged people do ?

they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?

‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’

‘y/n stop it’

‘ahhhhh’

you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts

but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing

and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come

saturday night - 9 pm

to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night

however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands

so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries

you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?

well,,,

you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts

so she's really never home 

and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work

so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to

you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future

the least you could do is help around the house

after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed

eggs, check

bread, check

peanut butter, check

a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check

you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so

the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway

“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away

‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’

‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’

‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’

however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”

changbin??

chaNgbIN???

chANGBIN???

he finally turns you around, making you face him

“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”

and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,

seo changbin was kissing you

your eyes open, stunned at what was happening

and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area

and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening

leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back

which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???

but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,

his arms snaking  around your waist

your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten

yall were full on making out now

too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving

(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))

until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath

damn, that kiss was good

probably the best one you’ve ever had

what????

just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche

he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground

“your eggs are broken,” he says

“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,

following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze

“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face

changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store

“what are you doing?”

as usual, he doesn’t reply

honestly, you should be used to this by now

he dashes around the supermarket

you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed

finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle

“which one do you want?”

“what?”

“eggs, which one?” he replies

“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”

“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off

you looked at him , not knowing what he meant

‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’

sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along  

and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow

“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs

monday

and now we’re back to the start of the week

which means another week of tutoring

as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago

the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly

“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts

“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place

you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class

at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night

“so who were those guys?”

“doesn’t concern you”

“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”

changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did

don’t you know who he is???

he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure

“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly

o_O

＜(。_。)＞

excuse me what

is he flirting with you ??

what’s happening ??

“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation

after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow

if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself

you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions

besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around

“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face

god, how you wish you could just smack it off

with your mouth

wait, who said that???

“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop

and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again

“they were kids from another school,”

you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered

“why were they looking for you?”

“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling

“Because?”

“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”

y/n

that was the first time he’s ever said your name

and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded

“sorry”

“it’s fine”

“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”

“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”

“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”

<(￣︶￣)>

“don’t make me have to say it out loud”

trust

you don’t know how you did it so quickly,

maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you

2  weeks later

you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same

same time

same table

same library

however, so much has changed

mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship

it was like he was a totally different person

like I said before, changbin was smart

but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,

he can honestly probably give you a run for your money

and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around

weird, right ?

changbin and laughing ?

who would’ve thought ??

even onlookers were surprised

and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop

the whole room just becomes silent

at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene

but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either

and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him

when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else

he somehow manages to make you forget about reality

“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you

“changbin, no”

“c’mon y/n, live a little”

“excuse you! I do have a life!”

“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”

“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him

“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”

“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”

changbin laughs at this

lately he found himself laughing more

and for once, he didn’t mind it

you were doing something to him

and he liked it

“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things

you sigh in defeat

you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it

so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building

“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”

“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face

“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening

however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock

aannnndd

he was inside  

“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours

even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal

you were scared shitless

what happens if you get caught omg

almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”

“i dont know changbin”

“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle

but of course,,,

you being a nosy bitch

“wait,”

“yes?”

“lets go inside”

you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)

if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now 

an abandoned building???

and its dark???

youve seen this in every scary movie out there

it never goes well

“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk

“hm”

“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”

but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for

you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way

passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze

however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go

‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself

“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights

not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that

“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled

“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle

“eyE”

“you dont believe me huh”

“absolutely not”

“ok, watch this”

and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons

honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing

but as soon as he put the headphones on

*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*

he was,,

indeed,,,

spitting bars

you could not believe your ears

who the fuck is this

you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)

after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent

changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,

he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh

he’d prefer anything over the silence  

he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’

avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth

sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence

“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”

“its not stupid.” you say quickly

“oh?”

“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him

“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail

“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”

changbin doesnt know why

but he wanted to share this side of him with you

maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with

or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that

whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side

he figured that showing you his true self would do just that

so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says

“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed

“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before

“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”

aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh

“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself

“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”

“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added

“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you

“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears

“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft

for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass

so fragile

he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was

and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece

“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him

“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”

oh

the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago

and god, you felt guilty

you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed

sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad

he’s just protective is all

to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met

“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”

“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together

“huh?”

“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”

“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile

those words

so similar to the ones his mom has given you

but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back

because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life

after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore

if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem

sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing

and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it

you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it

“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face

“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider

and then it hits you,

“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”

and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh

and you can't help but mirror his actions

1 week later

oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader

welp,,

you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder

Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do  

╥﹏╥

and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side

one week down, another to go

and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up

this week you guys even hung out outside of the library

you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it

“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks

“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”

“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face  

“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side  

“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude 

“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted

you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered

however, you didn't find it funny,

who were they to talk about changbin like that??

they didnt even know him

and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you

-------------

walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor

“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks

“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack

you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him

meanwhile , changbin was annoyed

it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you

he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours

but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts

but damn, you're frown was really bothering him

“y/n,” he says, calling out to you

no response

“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow

still no response

“y/n”

You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”

*insert changbin doing aegyo*

and with that , you lost it

you were an absolute madman

you never expected that the one and only seo changbin

notorious badboy

would ever do aegyo

all because you had a stupid frown on yourself

you laughed so loud

changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears

which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library

-------------

“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school

another one of changbins ideas

“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face

a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down

“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”

you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else

and so you came clean

“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say

“ oh,”

“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed

“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks

“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”

as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble 

‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself 

“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted

“ wh-what?”

“ everything they say about me is true”

“ changbin, no its not”

“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”

“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason

“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”

and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned

the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday 

a week has passed since the ice cream parlor

and Ms. Seo was back in town

this was it

the day you finally put a halt to it

and you were beyond ready

you haven't seen changbin all day

you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague

you entered Ms. Seos room, determined

“Ms. Seo -”

She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet

‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’

‘its already been over a month’

so you ignored her warning

“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions

“is that all,”she replies

“yes”

“then you may leave”

what???

it was that easy????

you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain

if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much

but you don’t know a lot of things

and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line

later that day

you’re seated in the library

usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed

you didn’t think much of it

‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself

the next day - wednesday

here you were again, waiting for him

still nothing

you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?

but surely, he would tell you

right ???

sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now

at least you thought so

you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt

‘maybe he’s just busy’

2 days later - friday

you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin

all your calls went straight to voicemail

texts were left on delivered

you didn’t even see him around school anymore

it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours

you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble

“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him

ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it

“im not in the mood,” you reply,

hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,

“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”

“aren’t you mad at me?”

“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile

hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend

hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring

you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug

“I’m sorry hyunjin”

“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”

“it’s just changbin-“

“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”

“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption

“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity

and then you told him

you told him about the deal with Ms. seo

about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way

how you ended the deal

and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you

“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”

“i wouldnt even know where -”

and then it hits you

the abandoned music building

“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly

“thanks, we been knew”

“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building

taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month

how much your life has changed since changbin entered it

he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions

he made you feel free

and most importantly, he made you happy

the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?

continuing on

just as you  expected, the door was open

the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin

oh,, where could he be??

could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?

as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost

‘fuck i already saw this door’

‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’

and then you hear it

music, singing

your nightingale

you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice

and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin

he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in

“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word

“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”

“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him

This caught you off guard

Did you do something wrong?

“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud

changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you

“ please, drop the act”

?????

“what?” you reply, completely confused

“ you dont like me ”

“ changbin, what?”

“ you're just like everyone else”

“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”

“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”

“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”

all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you

ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him  

“ you think i should change”

“ no”

“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”

(⊙…⊙,)

“ changbin, let me explain”

“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”

“ changbin.”

“ youre a monster”

and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall

changbin too, has let out his tears

and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass

“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”

you let him talk without interrupting him

you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart

everything he said was true

and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees

and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore

you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure

“im sorry”

silence

you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed

he deserves an explanation

“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”

and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling

you were finally opening up to him

just like how he has been doing

“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”

he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him

“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come

“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone

“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession

“ y/n look at me,”

“ i dont want to”

“ why?”

“ i know you're gonna break my heart”

“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you

this kiss was different from your first one

it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you

your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying

yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours

pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed

yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears

“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug 

“ im sorry,” you say again

“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”

“ what ?”

“ continue the deal, get the money”

“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”

“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking

…

..

“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”

“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”

“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”

“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says

playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone

“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face

“ hmm, and why?”

“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”

“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”

“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him

and so

he pulled you into another kiss

and another

and another

until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it

“im glad i bought you those eggs”

hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished 

ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

Part 2

The second day was easier. They started off with a fairly good-tasting breakfast at the motel, at which they were both pretty quiet. 

At least they shared the opinion that mornings should be lazy and quiet, totally not a time for small talk.

When Peter arrived at the car, Tony had already loaded their suitcases in the trunk and he was waiting for Peter while holding his door open for him.

Peter got in and cutely thanked him, surprised by the chivalry. Tony nodded a small nod and started walking towards the driver’s seat.

The rest of the day went by pretty okay. They talked, Peter opened up a bit more. And so did Tony, the boy noticed.

They listened to the radio together and sang along out of tune.

They stopped and bought some snacks and a soda for Peter. 

They laughed. They felt happy. Peter felt happy. He couldn’t feel more happy, actually.

He’d been so afraid ever since he was fifteen to get close to his dad. To be around him for this long at a time without a break.

But the reality was, it felt wonderful. The man made him laugh, snort, blush, smile and think. He was smart and handsome too, and Peter got less and less careful about his own thoughts. 

They joked around, tried to impress each other and held smart-offs. 

Peter could finally let go. Let go of his worries that Tony would judge him, let go off his own fears, let go of the imagined judgment he received.

When Tony reminded Peter of how close they used to be, Peter jokingly suggested they should sleep in the same bed again, then. Tony didn’t say much of it but later at the reception of yet another motel, he ordered a double bed this time.

Peter was surprised but pleased. He didn’t have the courage to cuddle up to the man yet, but he was in bliss knowing he would feel Tony’s warmth next to him, smell his scent and possibly feel his breath on Peter’s cheek when they would talk with the lights off.

Except, it was literal hell.  Peter’s hormones went crazy at seeing Tony in nothing but his boxers, leaving very little to the imagination.

He hadn’t written in his diary all day, and he certainly wasn’t going to with Tony right next to him. Result: bottled up, hormonal feelings.

Peter tried to push them away while Tony ruffled his hair and wished him good night, flicking off the light.

The third day was harder on Peter, as he started to realise just how much this man could do to his body without even thinking about it. He was horny, grumpy and standoffish. 

Tony did not like this change and said so, making Peter even more frustrated. It wasn’t even his fault that his stupid body reacted to his fucking dad! What the hell did he have to do with it, anyway? So yeah, he liked Tony, but that didn’t have to mean anything, right?

“Peter, for God’s sake! Just tell me what’s wrong!”

Tony frustratingly tightened his grip on the wheel, accelerating without realising it.

Peter groaned loudly and put his hands in his hair.

“Why can’t I just be moody? Why do you have to know everything? It’s not like you can do anything about it!” 

“Because you’ve been moody all day and I wanna know if I said something wrong!”

“Why do you always think everything’s always about you? I never said you did anything wrong, why do you think that?”

“Maybe because you’re yelling at me!”

Tony yelled back, aware of the hypocrisy.

Peter stilled, eyes wide with realisation. He let his hands fall in his lap and deflated back in his seat.

“Oh.”

Tony sighed deeply and tried to calm down. This was their first big argument, at least where they were yelling at each other. He hated it. He couldn’t let his own frustrations get to Peter, especially not work them out on his son.

“Look, did you not sleep well last night? Maybe we should get separate beds again if that’ll -”

“No!” Peter yelled in his desperation. He composed himself quickly and then continued in a much smaller voice.

“No, please. I like sleeping in the same bed as you.” 

He avoided Tony’s gaze at all times, staring out the window and wishing he could just die of embarrassment.

“All right, then we sleep together. That’s fine.” 

Tony tried to make his voice as soft as possible, and it had an effect on Peter. Peter was even more ashamed of his behavior, now that Tony used such a gentle tone with him after being yelled at.

He started to pull at his thumb’s skin, trying to tear it off. As a reflex he brought the digit to his mouth as started biting.

Tony saw this and put a hand on Peter’s, trying to make him stop.

“Don’t bite your thumb, Pete. You’ll regret it later.” 

Peter’s face was so red by now, he was pretty sure another one of his stupid blushes wouldn’t even be noticeable.

“‘M sorry, dad. You did nothing wrong. It’s just… It’s me. I’m just stupid.”

Peter’s voice was small and Tony had to strain to understand it all, but after the last word he immediately protested.

“Hey! Don’t say that about yourself, it’s not true! And, it’s okay. We all make mistakes. Really, Pete, don’t wo - “

Tony’s lecture was accompanied by loving and forgiving glances sideways, ruffling of hair and most importantly: that soft voice.

Peter could listen to it for hours, making him both calm and energized at the same time, like it was sparking a desire deep in Peter’s body that he hadn’t discovered yet.

When Tony was done talking, they both decided internally to not speak of it again, and so the rest of the day went on, although the tension was still there. Peter was scared to say something wrong and so was Tony, making their interactions much less spontaneous than before.

Even though Tony talked less now, Peter was still lusting after him in his head. Images and scenarios of all the things he’d normally write down floated around, making him hard and frustrated and just angry at himself. 

He really shouldn’t be thinking all that with Tony sitting right next to him.

When they finally arrived at another motel for the night, Peter rushed to the bathroom.

“Mornin’ , Pete.” Tony mused against the pillow. With one hand he touched Peter’s face, who giggled at the situation.

“Morning, dad.”

“How’d you sleep?” 

Peter opened his eyes to two dark brown ones, lazily looking at him. 

Ugh that face!

The boy almost regretted the fact that the real Tony looked even better than the one in his dreams. How could he survive another three days or more with him?

He answered in a slur and so their day began.

After breakfast they strolled around in the small town, Tony pointing out things he liked about the scenery to Peter, Peter happily following.

Around one they drove out of the town, onto the highway again. 

It was sunny and Peter enjoyed the warmth in the car, smiling down at this notebook on his lap. He’d made Tony promise not to try and read it actively, since he had to pay attention to the road anyway.

With his pen between his teeth, the boy hummed along with the song on the radio. His thoughts raced with things he wanted to report. Luckily for him, it were more innocent thoughts like I slept in the same bed as dad! and He touched my face and hair or he smiled at me and it made me all fuzzy inside.

“Say, Edgar Allan Poe, mind taking the map out of the glove compartment?”

“Sure thing!” Peter looked to his dad and smiled so cutely that it made Tony grin as well.

“Thanks. You’re a good kid, you know that?”

New praise kink discovered! Shh, shut the fuck up. And don’t sound so whiny!

Peter tried to hide his flustered look by acting normal and gave his dad a small smile. 

“I guess…” 

Tony ordered him to look up Las Vegas and the boy told him which road to follow.

After another three hours of driving Tony stopped at a gas station, filling his tank. Peter was allowed to saunter through the little shop and stretch his legs.

Amusingly, he let his eyes wander over the different tastes of lube they sold in the soap section.

Banana, chocolate, strawberry, cherry, lemon, vanilla…

Peter couldn’t help but imagine Tony teasingly stroking himself, lubing his cock up with a chocolate taste while Peter impatiently waited. Once the older man, his dad, was done he would lay on his back and let Peter lick his abs, stomach and eventually - Oh fuck!

Peter almost came in his pants at the thought of him sucking Tony off, the dark-haired man lovingly stroking the boy’s face with his thumb, pushing it between Peter’s lips when he looked up from under his lashes.

A hard thump hit his shoulder and the boy jumped up, startled and scared. 

“Hiya Pete, time to go. See anything you like?”

Yeah you!

“N-no, not really.”

He murmured, leaning back against Tony’s hand. How he craved his closeness! 

Peter praised himself lucky to sleep in the same bed for a few days. But he knew, once they get back home, everything will be different. He will go hide in his bedroom as usual and Tony will probably be at work all day. In the evening they’d eat together, making small talk. Maybe watch a movie and that’ll be it. After that, Peter would have to go lay in his own bed, not Tony’s.

Fuck my fucking life! Why am I so sick in the head? Why can’t I be fucking normal and have crushes on girl like Ned!

Peter shyly followed Tony back to the car, who gave him a genuine smile to encourage him.

“Dad, I swear it’s that way!”

“No it’s not. Look at the map again.”

“I already looked five times!”

“Peter!”

The tension had been building up for a while, and now they were arguing over which road to take. They weren’t loudly yelling yet, but both of them did the occasional eye-roll and became frustrated at the other.

“See, it’s clearly my way, I promise you.” 

Peter tried to convince Tony, who was driving a lonely open road and flashed a quick look at the map.

“That’s not what I saw earlier. This one leads to the backside of Vegas, it’ll be a detour. This is the right one.”

Jabbing fingers touched the map Peter was clumsily holding. It was a big paper to hold and very fragile, he was scared to rip it. Because then Tony would get mad. Like now.

Peter was already nervous because of his constant unsatisfiable libido and the fact that he could smell Tony more thoroughly with every passing hour. Now his bullheaded dad didn’t want to listen to him and was getting frustrated and grumpy because:

He can’t admit that he’s wrong and Peter’s right and 

he’s a man that refuses to ask directions from anybody.

And he started to work it out on Peter, too.

“Dad, why do you always have to be right about everything?” Peter yelled at last, not knowing what else to say.

“Because I’m Tony Fucking Stark and that’s why.”

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair;

“Of course, you already know that, don’t you. Because - I looked at the map earlier and the road I wanna take leads us to our destination.”

“Then why’d you ask me to check again?”

“Pete, don’t be like that!”

“Be like what?” 

Peter spat out, facing the man right on. He didn’t care if he was driving, Peter was gonna get his answer.

Tony sighed again, looked at his right window and then gathered his courage to look at his son.

Peter’s eyes were on fire, passion and anger and something that screams he’s the son of Tony burning brightly.

“Like - like I don’t know. Sometimes. Sometimes you’re just - a little. Fuck, how do I say this without hurting you? Sometimes you’re acting like your mom, Pete. And not in the good way.”

Peter rose his finger, accusingly pointing at Tony.

“Don’t bring mom into the argument! And how do I act, then? I wanna know!”

Tony slowed down the car and parked behind a big sign, dust flying up when he turned in the sand.

He turned the key of the car and breathed out strongly, angling his chest towards Peter.

“Like. Like you are telling the truth like it’s your life depending on it, you almost scream Believe me! in your eyes. It’s - it’s a bit much, okay? I just wanted a fun road trip and now I’m arguing with my son, who, apparently, became the ruler of justice.”

Brown, serious eyes reached Peter’s, who were still full of fire. But then something changed in them, like Tony had broken something inside Peter’s heart.

Peter averted his eyes, afraid to let his dad know he’d cry at any moment.

“I’m sorry, okay! I know that I’m an annoying, grumpy, locked in teenager but I’m trying, dad, I really am.” 

Shaking his head in disbelief, Tony put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. 

“I know you are, kid. And you’re not - okay, maybe you’re a little grumpy but what teen isn’t?”

A soft squeeze was all that was needed to get Peter going, to break his final wall he’d set up between him and Tony for Tony’s own good. 

Tears started streaming down his face and he started sobbing, so much that Tony didn’t know wether to hug him or give him mouth-to-mouth.

“Hey, Peter, hey, look at me! That’s a good boy, you’re doing great. Please breathe! Come ‘ere.”

Peter latched himself onto Tony, hiding his face in his neck and shoulders. He grabbed Tony as hard as he could, squeezed him so tight it seemed like he’d never let go. 

Tony tried to soothe Peter by rubbing his back.

“Shh, you’re a good kid, ‘s okay.”

“‘M - ‘orrible! Sorry ‘ad!” Peter sobbed, trying to apologize for every dirty or wrong thought he’d ever had, for all the times he’d jerked off to him.

“No, you’re not, Peter. You’re not.”

“You d - on’t  - understand!” Peter hiccupped.

“Dad I’m so - so fucking sorry I’m sorry sorry I’m fucking sorry!” 

Tony freezed at the string of apologies, realizing Peter was about to have an anxiety attack.

He pushed the boy off him to look at his face. Peter was breathing fast and hard and his face looked red and wet and puffy. On top of that, he just continued to apologize no matter what Tony said.

“Pete, hey, listen to me! You’re not the worst son ever, you’re the best one, you hear me? Hey hey shhh, it’s all right. Breathe! With me, okay? And in. Good, very good, now out. C’mon Peter, breathe out. That’s it.”

Tony stroked the hairs out of Peter’s face all the while, trying to give Peter as much space as possible to breathe.

“Dad I’m not - not worthy to be your son, please believe me dad, I’m sorry I’m so sorry I’ll never do it again I swear! Sorry!”

Tony didn’t know what to do as he saw Peter freak out even more. All he wanted for him was to feel better, to be able to breathe. And his face was so close too, his beautiful brown eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t take it. He just couldn’t anymore.

First, he almost gets a burn-out from his shitjob, then his son distancing himself and now his baby boy, his only light couldn’t even breathe properly! 

He couldn’t deal. 

“Peter, please breathe alright?”

Peter tried, sobbing but it still didn’t seem like he could get any air, he sounded so terrified and guilty and oh good God Tony really had to read up on anxiety.

He just - 

The sobbing stopped at once, replaced by a high pitched noise of surprise. And a bit of a moan? Tony must’ve imagined it.

He had kissed Peter, was still kissing Peter with his two hands on his son’s soft cheeks and his lips all up against his moving in soft touches. He couldn’t get enough. Peter tasted so great, better than he’d ever imagined and Oh my God I’m kissing my son I’m kissing my own goddamn heterosexual son what the fuck is wrong with me?

Tony abruptly broke apart, another small whimper escaping the other’s lips.

They both stilled, staring at one another with wide eyes.

At last, Tony put his hand in front of his mouth, surprise and disgust rising.

“Oh my God, Peter! Please forgive me! I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking I just - I just wanted you to calm down! Oh God, please don’t be scared I never -”

“You kissed me?” 

Peter’s voice broke, high and glaringly.

Tony, with his hand still in front of his face, nodded quickly.

“And I’m fucking sorry I swear please Peter, please forgive me.”

And then, the boy just started smiling. Tony was confused and Why isn’t he running away from me?

“Peter?”

“It’s okay, dad. It’s alright, really. You clearly panicked too, right?”

Tony nodded again, wanting to hug Peter but didn’t, because he didn’t want his son to think he was a perverted phedophile. 

Peter smiled through his tears, the last few rolling over his cheeks. His breathing became normal again and he wiped his eyes with his sleeves.

Tony was still freaking out internally. He almost didn’t dare to look his son in the eyes, embarrassed and tense. 

Why did I like it so much? At least it worked, Pete seems to breathe normally again. Why did I do that? Did I unconsciously want to? What the fuck is wrong with me!

“Dad?”

Peter’s voice barely broke through Tony’s loud thoughts. He composed himself and calmly placed his hands in his own lap.

“Yes, Pete?”

Peter didn’t look shocked at all, or scared. If anything, he looked happy.

“Can I hug you now?”

Tony stilled, eyes fixating on Peter’s nose so he didn’t have to look at the brown eyes, his eyes.

The man hesitated, opening and closing his mouth a few times before speaking.

“You don’t have to.”

“I know but I want to.”

“Are you sure? I understand if you want to take a walk or something.”

The boy’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you not want to?”

Tony shrugged, still not sure what the appropriate socially acceptable answer would be.

“Of course I want to. Hug you! Nothing else I mean. I just. Isn’t it gonna be weird after -”

The air was pushed out of Tony’s longues as Peter dropped his full body weight on the man. They fell to the back of the couch but Peter never lost his grip.

After five seconds Tony murmured fuck it and started to stroke Peter’s hair. 

It was a nice feeling and Peter enjoyed being this close, especially with Tony’s taste still in his mouth and his scent in his nose and his hands in his hair.

Oh, how he wanted Tony to just tug at it roughly, arching back his neck and then the man would kiss him deeply, with tongue.

That would be even nicer.

[alilpunkrock]

AJ’s in love...

AJ Stortz x reader

Requested by: @theoneandonlykymberlee

“Will you write something for AJ, where he maybe falls in love with a mutual best friend of his and Ryan’s but doesn’t realize it until she isn’t around or when she’s just doing something small like making dinner and he tells Ryan about it?? I’m sorry if it’s kinda all over the place. But I just got so excited because I never see people write for AJ and he’s a giant teddy bear. ♥️♥️♥️”

A/n: I love AJ with all my heart and will gladly write anything that has to do with him! I hope you enjoy reading! 🖤

••••••••••

“AJ!” You yelled running up behind your best friend. With your hands on his shoulders you shot yourself up onto his back. Because of the surprise, AJ wasn’t prepared for the sudden piggy back ride and almost didn’t catch you in time. He quickly grabbed hold of your thighs as you wrapped your arms around his neck loosely and hugged him.

“I missed you so much! You can’t leave me for tour ever again!” You said jokingly and kissed his cheek.

“Deal.” He said laughing and letting go of you as you slid of his back.

Ryan stood across from you and AJ watching the interaction in front of him. When you finally turned your attention to Ryan, you we’re excited, just not as excited with AJ.

“You either!” You told Ryan hugging him tight around the neck. He laughed as he bent down to reciprocate your hug.

“These two months were terrible! I didn’t have anyone to get drunk with after work when my boss was being a dick!” Ryan laughed.

“I promise we’ll take you with us next time.”

“You better. Okay,” you said to the two men in front of you. “Tell me everything.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“And then Rick, with his stupid camera always in my face! I’m not the only one that can do updates!” AJ complained. Ryan and you laughed.

“But you’re the best at them!” You said resting your legs across his lap.

AJ, Ryan, and you were lounging around your living room, each three beers in and you were starting to feel the buzz. AJ rested his hand on your knee and started drawing circles lazily.

“Alrighty well, as much as I love and missed you guys, I’m literally going to pass out. You can stay over if you want, in the living room. Goodnight, and goodnight.” You said kissing each of the guys on the cheek.

The hangover you woke up with was bearable but there was no doubt that the guys kept going last night so you’d be taking care of them today. Walking into the kitchen you were met with Ryan and AJ holding cups of coffee.

“Good morning sunshine!” Ryan said, hugging you once talk got close enough.

“Hi guys.” You mumbled poring yourself a cup and joining them around the counter next to AJ.

“What are you doing today?” AJ asked. You shrugged.

“I dunno, probably just chill here. Why? Do you guys have plans?” You asked.

“I gotta head out soon and meet with some old friends who are in town. So it’ll be just you guys today.” Ryan said, checking his phone and saying goodbye to the two of you.

“Well it’s just you and me, I guess.” AJ said smiling.

“I guess so.. what do you want to do today?”

AJ suggested driving to the next bigger city and walking around the mall. You bought some new shoes, with AJ’s help, and helped picked him out some new outfits.

“How bout dinner? On me.” AJ asked. Just as your stomach started to growl.

“Sounds good to me!”

AJ rested his arm over your shoulder as you two walked down the street to the nearest restaurant. During dinner, AJ sat and listened to what you were saying but his mind started to wonder. You were beautiful, he always thought so, and he’s told you plenty of times. The way you got so into something and talk nonstop about it. Or the way you always seem to know how to make him feel better if he’s having a bad day. You never judge him for anything he chooses to do and you even laugh at his jokes! You’d literally make the girlfriend, hell maybe even wife.

AJ came back to reality when he realized you were calling his name.

“AJ? Hello? Are you home?” You laughed.

“What? Oh, sorry! I didn’t hear what you said.” You smiled at him.

“I noticed. What are you thinking about so hard over there?”

You.

“Nothing important, please continue.” AJ leaned forward resting his chin on his hand. You started your story over again with the proper reactions from AJ.

The drive back to you house took a little longer because of traffic. You ended up falling asleep as AJ drove. He looked over at you resting your head against the mirror. He tried to drive as smooth as possible.

“Do I like Y/n?” AJ thought to himself. You’ve always been very close, even the guys like to point out that you two should date. Never in front of you though. He likes the way you dress. Your style in almost everything matched his to a T. He loved the way you said is name. Don’t even get him started on when you’d laugh and say it at the same time. And whenever you touched him in anyway he got butterflies and- HOLY SHIT HE LIKE LIKES YOU. AJ almost doesn’t know how to act anymore now that he’s aware of this issue.

He woke you when he pulled into your drive way.

“Are you coming in?” You asked grabbing your bags from the floor by your feet. AJ hesitated for a moment and then turned off the car.

“Yeah, of course.” You have him a weird look.

“Is everything okay?” The drive hadn’t been that long. You didn’t think something would’ve happened for AJ to act weird on the half an hour drive home.

“Yeah all good!” He said and grabbed your bags from your hands.

The rest of the night felt off, but you didn’t want to press anything and upset AJ. You’d give him a couple days to cool off.

A week later, Ryan and AJ were hanging out with the rest of the band writing for the new record. AJ was still a bit cross about his feelings for you.

Does he tell you?

Let it go?

Will it ruin you guys if he does tell you?

“Dude, are you good?” Ryan asked. He and AJ were alone in the room at the moment and he took that opportunity to see what was wrong with his friend. AJ sighed.

“No, man. I’m in trouble!” AJ leaned back on the couch and covered his face.

“What’d you do?” Ryan asked concerned.

“I didn’t do anything, man. I was hanging with Y/n the other day and I realized that I have feelings for her, dude.” AJ finally admitted. Ryan’s eyebrows raised.

“Woah.” Was all he said.

“Yeah, man and I don’t know what to do!”

“Well you could tell her.” Ryan offered.

“I’ve thought of that!” AJ groaned. “But what if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“You could ask me if I do.” You spoke up. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop but when you hear your name from the guy you’ve been in love with for years, you’re going to listen. AJ spun around and his face fell.

“I’m gonna just.. go.” Ryan cleared his throat and walked past you, leaving AJ and you alone.

“Um, I-“ AJ started.

“You like me AJ?” You got straight to the point. He sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I do. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with that. I also didn’t expect you to hear it like this.” He laughed lightly. You smiled and walked to sit next to him on the couch.

“AJ, I like you. I have for years.” You blushed. He eyes widened and a smile spread on his face.

“Seriously?” You nodded at his question. “Holy shit. Um, would you maybe wanna got out like on a real date sometime?”

You smiled and leaned forward kissing his cheek.

“I would love to..” he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him tightly. You giggled as he chanted, “yes! Finally!”

[ficsandpieces]

Not only is it almost father's day but it's summer!! Could I please get family beach/pool trip scenarios? Ahhh just imagining it is so cute. Individual family outings or maybe a whole group version just to see everyone's kids interact?? Whichever is best for you. Thanks so much in advance :D

(I’m sorry prompt fills are taking so long, real life keeps getting in the way OTL)

***

It’s Daddy’s day out! \o/

They go to Camus’ private beach because it was either that or a public one and Camus figured with great reluctance if he and his precious angel were going to be exposed to peasants it might as well be those he’s familiar with at least, much as it pains him to say it

Reiji rented a family van to pick everyone up and drove them over

Carpool karaoke happened and it was magnificent

They pull up to the beach and to the sight of Camus standing like a Greek god on the sand

His hair is up

His chest gleaming in the sun

His shins exposed

He’s possibly exposed more skin in public today than he had in over a year

It was only his opened shirt printed all over with cartoon heads of Alexander (a Father’s Day gift from his daughter via his S/O) that kept everyone present from being blinded

The deadly glare he shot anyone who even thought of commenting on his fashion sense today was enough to turn even the sun cold

Preparations before playtime see Camus and Ai diligently spraying their children down with sunblock, having brought with them metal canisters of it with spray nozzles attached for even coverage

Ranmaru’s barking at his kids to put it on while slapping it on himself

His son and daughter squeezing it on each other’s backs from a large economy tube of sunblock

When it comes to helping their father, they have fun drawing faces with the cream on Ranmaru’s back, quickly smearing the drawings away when he complains they’re taking too long 

Reiji and his twins have completely forgotten that sun protection exists and are already running into the sea, yelling and whooping, pool floats hooked under one arm and beach balls under the other

(His kids survive the day without sunburn

Unfortunately enough, the same cannot be said for Reiji

He returns to work red as a lobster with new patches of skin showing where his children helpfully assisted Daddy in peeling whatever was coming off

Manager-san banned Reiji from going under the sun for next month, swaddling him in long-sleeves, face-mask, a giant hat and pants, leading to Reiji almost being hospitalized for heat-stroke later)

Reiji and Ranmaru join their kids in the water

Ai and Camus prudently keeping to the shade

Ai’s son tugging on his hand for him to go play in the sea with him

Ai shaking his head

“You know that I’m no good with water. Go play with the others, I’ll be fine by myself here.”

His little boy is super disappointed

Halfheartedly joins the other kiddies in the water

(The disappointed look on his son’s face from that time stuck with him for months after that

The next beach trip sees Ai liberally dousing himself with sealant and wading grimly into the sea with his son and a steely determination not to let the water get in the way of quality father-son time)

Camus, horrified at how rowdy the other children are, at first stands like a stern sentinel between his daughter and the commoners, arms folded and face stern as thunder

But one small tug at his tailored capri trousers, his little girl looking up at him with forlorn eyes and he very literally melts

Compromises by shadowing her closely until he’s dragged off by Reiji to give the poor girl some breathing space 

Ranmaru gleefully assisting by putting Camus in a loose chokehold and literally towing him through the sand because as long as it causes the seaweed head distress he’s in

Ranmaru’s son, being the oldest of the lot, ends up keeping an eye on the other kids, to the silent approval of his father

Camus’ daughter is very excited to see other children her age because much like Camus she’s grown up surrounded by adults, although in very different circumstances 

(Camus is adamant on having his little angel home-schooled, since the alternative would be sending her to a boarding school in the mountains but he can’t uproot himself to join her there just yet due to work

His S/O is equally adamant she at the very least goes to a normal school and make friends with other children because their daughter is going to grow up in a literal ivory tower isolated from the rest of humanity over her dead body)

But she’s a little shy and doesn’t know how to approach them

Ranmaru’s daughter tends to stick to her big brother 

Then she spots Camus’ daughter fidgeting at the edge of the water, looking like she really wants to play with everyone else but is hesitant to do so

The Kurosaki siblings go over and take her hands, drawing her in to join them

Ranmaru’s son was the first boy to ever hold her hand

Little girl has her first crush when she looked up at him and he smiled back

(Camus, feeling a chill go down his body, fights tooth and nail to untangle himself from Reiji and Ranmaru and fly to his daughter’s side)

Ai’s son runs over when he sees them, excited that the little girl he’s always seen standing by the sidelines is finally here

Camus’ daughter’s heart melts when Ai’s son takes her hand and beams up at her

She’s never seen a boy younger than her, and so much smaller too!

Ai’s little son is normally shy and has a tendency to hide behind his parents’ legs when in public, but he’s very different with the other QN children whom he’s practically grown up with

He looks up to and sticks to Ranmaru’s son too, so he’s got two ducklings following him around everywhere he goes

Now with the addition of Camus’ daughter the duckling count has gone up to three

Both Kotobuki twins inherited their father’s boundless energy and appetite for fun

His son tends to be more on the serious side but enjoys a good prank like his sister

He and Ranmaru’s son are the ‘responsible’ ones who will pick up the younger kids and run like bats out of hell anytime a prank or joke goes wrong

The twins are the ones who come up with new games for everyone to play most of the time

Both of them have taken to calling Ranmaru’s son ‘Oniichan’, to his mild annoyance

Afternoon rolls around and both big and small stomachs are rumbling

Each papa brought their own homemade picnic lunch from home for potluck

Ai greatly approves of this

He’s a big believer in his boy getting as many experiences as possible, food included

Reiji’s karaage is naturally one of the more popular items on the menu, with Ran’s meatballs coming in a close second

Ai’s fruit and vitamin punch was left largely unfinished because it had more vitamins than fruit and tasted like it

(Both Ai and his son are puzzled by everyone’s reaction to the drink which was both healthy and absolutely fine to them, reminding all present that Ai’s little boy had inherited his father’s analytical taste buds)

Camus’ dessert tables (filled with nothing but cake and ice-cream and carried in by a crew) saved the day and everyone’s tongues

One table was graciously provided for the potluck

The other was reserved for him and his daughter, who to his dismay keeps trying to share her dessert with the Kurosaki spawn

The Kotobuki twins may be picky eaters but the sand and sea’s sharpened their appetites, making their father weep with joy when he saw empty plates and little hands holding them up, asking for seconds

Ranmaru’s drummed the principle of “clean your plate or starve” into his kids heads ever since they were old enough to eat solid food, so picky eating isn’t much of a problem for him

Except he isn’t exempted from every parent’s enemy of vegetables, which is a high hurdle for him to clear considering he’s not a fan of the green either

Apparently his children got around the ‘starving’ part of their father’s dining discipline by feeding their vegetables to the cats, technically still leaving their plates clean

Camus daughter has never eaten anything that wasn’t prepared by either her father or a professional chef, which should tell you enough about her upbringing

As mentioned, Ai’s son shares the same taste buds as his sire, hence he’ll eat anything and think it tastes alright

After lunch and a half-hour rest in the shade (with Ranmaru being awakened from his nap by his papa!radar going off and cracking open an eye to glare at any child who tries to sneak back on to the beach earlier than they’re supposed to), it’s back to the sun and waves and more fun

Ranmaru’s got his son hoisted up on his shoulders and his daughter hanging gleefully off one bicep, proudly showing off that he’s still got the muscles despite fatherhood

Reiji’s and his two-man army came armed with water soakers and are currently running for their lives from Camus, who is soaked and breathing frost and fury and advancing menacingly on the Kotobukis, his steps turning the surrounding water and sand to ice with his daughter perched on one arm, only slightly damp due to her father shielding her

Later on watermelons are brought out for an afternoon snack

The age-old game of watermelon smashing commences

When it’s Ranmaru’s turn to hit the watermelon he takes aim, spins and strikes alarmingly close to Camus, sending sand flying in all directions

“Eh, thought I sensed something soft headed around here. Guess my gut was right on the mark.”

He grins, taking off the blindfold and cracking his neck with an added smirk

Highly unamused, Camus feels around for the nearest thing at him to bash Ranmaru’s head in with, which turns out to be a plastic toy bucket still half-full with wet sand

Equally unamused and seeing red now, Ranmaru grabs another toy bucket, chooses an area of beach abundant with seashells and tiny crabs, fills it to the brim and dumps it down the back of Camus’ shirt

Their kids watching the sand, seashells and seaweed fly with the battle raging on 

(Good thing their wives had the foresight to pack more than one change of clothes for both the men and their kids)

Everyone eventually settles down to finish off the smashed watermelons

Ranmaru teaching the children how to spit out the seeds and unknowingly initiating a competition to see who can spit them the furthest

Camus has long carried away his daughter, mortified at her having to watch such a crass activity

Reiji’s been furiously taking photographs throughout the entire day and sending constant updates to his wifey at home

(He spams the Quartet Night group chat with the same photos and commentary later

Camus leaves the chat group in a fit of ire, only to be added back almost immediately by Reiji

“Myu-chan, you’re so careless! What’re you doing accidentally exiting the group chat like that? Think of all the news you’d have missed out on if I hadn’t noticed!”)

Closer to evening Ai’s son is worn out from playing and starts getting clingy with his father

“Hm? What’s the matter?” he asks him, rubbing his back with one hand. “Tired already?”

He presses his head against Ai’s shirt and pouts

“Want Mommy.”

“We still have three hours and forty-seven minutes left to go before we can see your mother. Do you want to take a nap in the shade first?”

“No. Want Mommy now!”

Off Ai goes, carrying away his cranky three-year-old to some place quiet where he can calmly explain to him how throwing a tantrum does not make time go by any faster

He returns an hour later, his toddler in his arms, now completely exhausted from his father’s lecture which turned out to be as hypnotic as a lullaby

Hearing Ai’s son whining for his mother makes the other children realise that they’ve gone an entire day without Mommy too

The mood’s going downhill fast, with all the adults frantically trying to stop their children from bursting into tears from suddenly missing their mothers

Reiji saves the day with a brilliant idea

“No summer night is complete without fireworks!”

Good thing he brought along enough to make Ai and Camus seriously worry about being caught by the police for possession of an abnormally large amount of explosives

Firecrackers, whizzlers, fountains, spinners, you name it, Reiji’s probably got more than ten of it

All papas present breath a sigh of relief when their children are distracted from thoughts of their mothers by the possibility of playing with something bright, shiny and noisy

Ai has his boy in his lap, placidly holding on to a sparkler

Baby boy wanted to do nothing but snuggle in his chest at first, but the bright lights and the noise the other children were making woke him up 

Camus hovering anxiously behind his little girl, a globe of water ready to materialize in his hand any second for fear that a stray firework might have the audacity to approach his angel

Ranmaru and Reiji’s children having the time of their lives running up and down the beach, setting off bottle rockets in the air

Ranmaru running after his kids when they gang up with the Kotobuki twins to chase Reiji down the length of the beach with roman candles at ready

At the end of the night, after cleaning up after themselves (junior chipping in to help), each papa carries their exhausted but happy child home in their arms, piling into the rented van

Camus is both stunned and aghast when his little girl tugs on the arm of Ran’s son, her head still resting against her father’s chest, and tells him to come and play again sometime

Ranmaru is just as mortified when the little boy yawns and nods

The two fathers share a mutual look of “WE SHALL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN” before urgently bundling their children back home

Ran gives his confused son the “You can pick anyone you like, just not that one” talk

The poor man has never felt so threatened in his life before

Camus bathes his little girl in the Permafrost equivalent of holy water to exorcise whatever black magic that Kurosaki spawn must have cast on his precious angel

Reiji sends everyone home safe and sound

Bathes and carries both his children to bed and tucks them in

Pulls his wife down to sit next to him on the couch as he recounts the day and adds on even more commentary to the sea of photographs he had texted her throughout their day out

All of Quartet Night’s wives say the same thing to their exhausted husbands when they return home with sleeping children in their arms

“Welcome back. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

And they had to agree that it wasn’t

(Although whether they would do it again was still up for debate lol) 

[the-marvel-wars]

I need to talk about GoT 8x02

My thoughts on Game of Thrones 8x02 (grab a glass of wine because it’s a fucking ride and a half)

This will be moved over to my new blog for nerd reviews, Sounds Like Nerds.

WARNING: THIS WILL BE VERY SPOILER-Y AND FULL OF SWEARING!

PLEASE, IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS EPISODE, DO NOT READ THE SPOILERS!

IT’S SO HARD TO STAY AWAY WHEN YOU’RE CURIOUS AS HELL, BUT PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT THESE SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODE!

SPOILERS WILL BE BELOW THE CUT, SO IF YOU DON’T TURN AWAY NOW, I CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SPOILERS YOU WILL SEE.

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

ALRIGHT!

Let me be very clear that this episode brought about a slight meltdown for me. The little moments these characters had with one another broke me in half, and next week, I’ll be dead entirely. Resurrect me only to watch these episodes because life will mean nothing after “Avengers: Endgame” and GoT 8x03. I’m tired, dazed, very confused, and on the verge of a complete breakdown. While I still have some energy, here we fucking go.

That opening STILL gives me goosebumps after all these years, not gonna lie.

I lost my whole uterus when Daenerys stared down Jaime and was like, “yo, I always thought of how I would kill you. Here you are” (rough translation). I was like, “BiTcH nOoOoOoO”

ALSO, DAENERYS, HOW DARE YOU QUESTION TYRION! I FELT LIKE I WAS HALLUCINATING! Someone get me some water!

Sansa, a fucking goddess, the QUEEN IN THE NORTH, A RED WOLF. I DON’T GIVE A HOLY SHIT. I LOVE HER. I WANT HER IN MY LIFE FOREVER. TOUCH HER, AND I WILL BURN THE WHOLE WORLD TO THE GROUND!

“The things we do for love” -Jaime, 1x01

“The things we do for love” -Bran, 8x02

Me, during that scene:

Brienne standing up for Jaime the way she did is not helping my desperate need for them to get together. I’m trying to put OUT this fire, not add fuel to it, ffs.

When Sansa began speaking to Brienne after that, I was terrified that Sansa would be like “you vouch for him? You would fight beside him? Then you will suffer the same fate as him.” I was like, are they gonna get fed to the dragons? TaKe Me InStEaD!

Sansa giving Jaime a pass because of her respect for Brienne cleared my skin up, and I will breathe easier until I see Endgame on Thursday night. help.

LISTEN! Here’s my issue! Daenerys’ look at Sansa infuriated me when Sansa gave Jaime a pardon of sorts. Then, she’s like, “UH, JON! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?!?!?!?!” like she’s just magically gonna get what she wants because they’re having………….the sex. Jon’s not gonna turn on his sister/cousin. I’m sorry, but don’t.

Bran just keeps staring at people. Just get that kid a blindfold, he’ll be less of a creep.

Me at Bran the ENTIRE episode:

Let me say this, I knew from the moment Arya did that little eyebrow lift at Gendry in the beginning of the episode, that they were gonna sex by the end of it. I’ve shipped it since they first met, and I will ship it until I die.

“It’s gonna be safer down in the crypt” -Gendry, totally oblivious to the little assassin Arya’s become.

“I know death. He’s got many faces. I look forward to seeing this one.” -Arya, giving me goosebumps while throwing dragonglass at a post. What a little fucking queen. Oh, God, take me away.

I lowkey want Arya to stare right into the face of the Night King, right into the face of death, and I just want her to say “not today” as a callback to season 1 and her training with Syrio Forel. Ugh. SHIT.

“Bran looks like a coconut” -my friend, 2k19

“At least Cersei won’t get to murder me” -Tyrion, giving me goosebumps because Bronn’s got that fucking crossbow of poetic justice, and I WILL NOT HAVE IT! TOUCH TYRION, AND I WILL RIOT!

Podrick has also gotten so much better with the sword, and I AM JUST SO PROUD!

“I’m not the fighter I used to be, but I’d be honored to serve under your command if you’ll have me” -Jaime, giving Brienne the credit she has always deserved, but that’s not even the best part. What happens later is what truly had me weeping.

I just want Jorah and Daenerys to kiss one time in a ship-fulfilling way. I just want him to be happy. I NEED him to be happy. Jorah fighting on behalf of Tyrion made me love him all the more, and if he dies, I WILL RIOT AGAIN!

The Sansa/Daenerys interaction had me quaking. I was literally sitting on the couch, head in my hands, shaking. I was both angry and relieved. While I’m upset they’re being pitted against one another, I’m relieved that they’re staying true to their characters. Sansa is true to her home and her people, Daenerys just wants to take what is rightfully hers (I mean, as we all know, it’s not TECHNICALLY hers *cough* Jon Snow). They’re both such headstrong women, and I hope they come together at some point. The women of this show would bring the entire population of Westeros to their knees.

Theon and Sansa reuniting had me in tears yet again. This episode was so fucking emotional for me, but I know that next week will break me even more.

“I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa, if you’ll have me” -Theon Greyjoy, reformed.

Those two have been through so much together (too much, really), and so much on their own. The fact that they are together again makes me so emotional. JUST KILL ME!

That little girl that Davos served made me cry AGAIN! He was reminded of Shireen. He wants to protect the little girl he couldn’t save.

Tormund TACKLING Jon like a quarterback was hilarious as shit in such a touching scene.

“The big woman still here?” -Tormund Giantsbane, the man who just wants some fuq

Seeing my favorite characters gathered around the command table made me shake with pure fucking fangirl excitement. It’s what I’ve wanted from the beginning.

“I took this castle from you. Let me defend you, now” -THEON GREYJOY oh my god, just bury me at this point with my collection of Marvel comics, my Star Wars pajamas, and my replica dragon eggs. Just put me to rest because I can’t. I cannot. I have been unable to can. No.

“We’re all going to die” -Tormund, putting it all out there like it’s no big deal. It’s a VERY BIG DEAL

Missandei and Greyworm having their little moment just drove home my fear that one of them is going to die before the end of the season, perhaps by the end of the next episode. WHEN YOU MAKE PROMISES IN THIS SHOW, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP THEM! YOU FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SHOULD KNOW THIS!

Ghost just chilling in the background of that scene with Sam, Jon, and Edd is a whole 2019 mood. He gets no attention, barely any screen time, and others may not even notice him. But not us. Not us.

I’M BEING SO SUPER SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, IF SAMWELL TARLEY DIES, I WILL FUCK EVERYONE UP IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY! I SWEAR TO THE WHOLE UNIVERSE! SAM IS THE LAST GOOD, PURE, INNOCENT CHARACTER IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN WORLD, AND IF HE GOES DOWN, I’M GOING DOWN, TOO! I WILL HAVE A COMPLETE AND UTTER MELTDOWN, AND MY THERAPIST WILL BE GETTING A CALL AT 10:30 AT NIGHT! IF HE DIES, YOU’LL CATCH MY WHOLE ASS PICKETING IN A WALMART PARKING LOT, WEEPING.

*ahem*

sorry.

The scene with everyone around the fire was such an incredibly beautiful scene.

Also, Tyrion pouring Podrick a full cup when Brienne clearly said “HALF” is a wholeass mood.

I’m scared that the characters by the fire are the ones who are going to bite it in the next episode, and I’m not ready. I’m just gonna blackout.

TORMUND TELLING THE STORY OF HOW HE GOT THE NAME “GIANTSBANE” MADE ME CACKLE. A BEAM OF PURE LIGHT IN THIS SAD, TERRIBLE UNIVERSE! I’m still laughing.

Arya and Sandor drinking together. Leave me alone, I’m weak. I can’t talk about this right now. I’m too emotional about it still. One of these little shits is gonna die in the next episode, and I just cannot.

“I fought for you, didn’t I?” -Sandor Clegane, coming in at the last moment to rip the soul from my body. Thanks.

HeLp!

“I’m not spending my final hours with you two miserable old shits” -Arya, about to go get her freak on with Gendry ;)

When Arya started talking about Gendry’s experience with women, my friend and I both looked at each other, knowing exactly what the shit was gonna happen. It was gonna be weird, but it was gonna happen no matter what.

When Gendry finally admitted that he had been with three women, I was like, “Arya’s gonna say some smooth shit, like “want to add a fourth?”” but I was gonna be happy no matter what because these two are cute as shit together.

Me, when they were doing...the...sex:

Also me:

“Women can’t be knights” -Brienne, laying down some realness

AND THEN JAIME KNIGHTED HER, AND I CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BITCH! I TURNED INTO A PUDDLE ON THE FUCKING GROUND BECAUSE I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SO LONG! BRIENNE DESERVED THAT TITLE MORE THAN ANYONE I’VE EVER KNOWN, AND THIS WAS SO INSPIRING TO WATCH!

I cried, babies cried, my dogs probably fucking cried.

“ARISE BRIENNE OF TARTH, A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS”

oh my HOLY ASS!

I’m crying for my giant baby right now.

LYANNA MORMONT BEING A BABY QUEEN!

“I pledged to fight for the North, and I will fight!” -Lyanna Mormont, a little beast.

I PLEDGED TO FIGHT FOR THESE CHARACTERS, AND I WILL FIGHT FOR HER!

Sam gifting Jorah his family’s sword just drove home my suspicion that they won’t see each other again because ONE OF THEM IS GONNA DIE! SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL BURN IT DOWN! I’M GONNA FUCKSTART MY TV NEXT WEEK, AND I’M GONNA THROW UP!

Jenny’s Song.

Jenny’s Song.

Jenny’s Song.

shit.

Jon telling Daenerys about his lineage had my heart POUNDING in my chest. I DO NOT want this to be a rivalry. I don’t want it. I do not...want it. Not at all. I want it a negative amount. None want. Will not support.

I’m not ready for next week.

I’m not ready for any of this.

I will never be ready!

MY LITTLE, GROWN UP BABIES ARE GOING TO DIE! I’VE WATCHED THIS SHOW FOR LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT NOT EVERYONE IS MAKING IT OUT OF THIS SHIT ALIVE! I’M GONNA GO DOWN WITH WHOEVER DIES NEXT WEEK. I WILL BE BURIED WITH THEM, SO HELP ME ASS! I’M GONNA PUKE!

Honestly, this episode made me so fucking emotional. I think it sunk in that these characters I’ve been following for so many years through the books and show, are likely to meet their end so soon. I’m just having a hard time grasping this concept, and it started to sink in tonight. I’ve read these books since I was a young teen, and I started watching the show when it was coming out (against my father’s wishes). I’ve followed these stories for such a long time, and a lot is going to happen this week for me, between Endgame and this upcoming episode. I’m experiencing too many emotions, and my body may just decide to shut down altogether. Who knows?

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x03 “The Scar”

i.e. me enjoying Dean’s freckly arms, the amount Dean and Cas say each other’s names, and Claire’s confirmed queerness

02:53pm

looking forward to some dean/cas head massaging i guess???????

-

02:55

i suppose the “it’s not just michael we’re talking about / it’s dean” script served the purpose of being a recap soundbite

but it did sound out of character at the time

-

02:57

OH MY GOD DEAN’S FIXATED ON SAM’S BEARD

WHAT A (TRAUMATISED) DORK JUST TRYING TO FIND NORMAL THINGS

poor bean

-

02:58

soooooooooooo.. they drove dean back to the bunker, and he clearly spent a moment having a shower and redoing his hair WITH GEL AND HAIRSPRAY

AND THEN HE PUT THE MICHAEL CLOTHES BACK ON???

edit: okay no IT’S EVEN WEIRDER. HE DIDN’T TAKE A SHOWER YET BUT HIS HAIR MAGICALLY GELLED ITSELF INTO DEAN-HAIR

-

03:00

them hearteyes !!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AND THE FUCKING VIOLINS PLAYING IN THE BACKGOUND

SOMEONE TELL ME THAT AIN’T A ROMANTIC VIOLIN NOISE

the violins were kind of soft and tense when jack came out but only started the romantic swoop when cas came out

-

03:04

could’ve done with a hug right there

WHERE’S THE HUG

I DEMAND A SOFT, TIGHT HUG WITH CLOSED EYES

-

03:06

i miss the handprint

also jensen has REALLY nice arms

so many beautiful freckles ;~;

also i was thinking, dean ends up with waaaaay more physical scars and injuries that just about anyone on this show. the handprint, the mark of cain, this thing. and i guess it’s kind of a metaphor for how damaged and scarred he is inside, emotionally.  people and creatures leave their mark on him, stake their claim, and he’s been used and abused a lot over his lifetime..

certainly more than sam

he always belongs to others, and lives to love and care for others (like baby sammy), never for himself

and funnily enough this makes me miss charlie more than anyone. because she was the one who helped dean be dean, and take time for himself, and come out of that goddamn spiked cocoon of emotional damage

one thing i rEALLY REALLY want this season is dean connecting with AU!charlie the way he did with original!charlie. >:{

he needs a charlie

-

03:15

and gorgeous hands too ;A:

i think delicate man hands are my favourite kind

you can TELL he’s a guitar player, his hands are artist’s hands

i hope he writes his own songs and sings them to his children and misha

and i hope one day he’ll release an album of original songs

ugh

ughgugguuhuh

-

03:17

i can’t believe half of the interaction between dean and cas goes like this:

cas: isfsjdkfdjcjdf dean sdkgfdkfgkjfgjfdk

dean: jashfsgjfj cas jdfjdjghjgjgh

cas: dean...

dean: cas! c’mon

they just........say each other’s names??? and that’s the whole conversation??? and they can change each other’s minds like saying their name is a whole argument????

i swear to fucking god i could write a fic where literally the ONLY thing dean and cas do together is say each other’s names with different inflections and tilt their heads and make pouty faces or frown or gulp or touch each other’s arms or breathe in certain ways, and by the end of it they’re kissing and it’s not even out of character

i know there’s a bunch of you who just nodded and you’re gonna message me to write that aren’t you

-

0323

omg dean’s little bumpadabump on the table

“hit me”

-

03:24

i wonder if that sword was an ACTUAL michael sword

or the wielder was a creature from kaia’s nightmare universe

-

03:26

oh yes i was right, it was one of those au creatures

OOH DO WE GET TO SAVE KAIA NOW

and have her and claire smooch please (and be a destiel parallel)

-

03:29

WHO IS SHE

CAN SHE BE A REGULAR WHO DOESN’t DIE PLEASE

okay yeah i’m definitely noticing a tiny trend this season of more women and people of colour

-

03:21

AW MAN

i don’t want MORE reasons why cas can’t go too

but hey at least they’re giving him actual important things to do in the meantime, rather than him just disappearing without explaination

-

03:34

the smile on dean’s face when he sees jody!!!!!!

also i thought there was a goat in the background of this scene but nope it’s just out lamb astra calling for someone to give her some milk already

-

03:35

sam’s sassy smile when he looks at dean

JODY LIKES HIS BEARD

i actually like it too tbh. the fact i don’t notice it unless someone points it out means it suits him

-

03:41

aaaah good they remembered sam’s obsession with serial killers

-

03:43

i love that this episode seems to be making full use of the bunker’s interesting rooms, plus the people who live in it and their interests

-

03:46

OHSAJHRFDJESUS CHRIST THAT MADE ME JUMP

MY CAT JUST CAME IN TO SEE IF i‘M OKAY

i wanna say that was great directing but i feel like a specific “it’s just a memory.... NOPE IT’S RIGHT NOW” shot would’ve come directly from the script

so kudos to berens for that

but also robert singer too for pulling it off

wow

-

03:51

YEEE THEY FOUND KAIA

god i want a dress like that

-

03:53

woman whose name i wish i knew (jules?): “sage, pyrite, and sheep’s eye? we got that here?”

cas: “yes.. storage room, red cabinet, bottom drawer. it’s marked... gross stuff”

three guesses who made that label

also regarding the pyrite - they must go through a lot of cyrstals doing these spells. i wonder if they have to do trips to the local crystal shops or if they buy wholesale

and who did the original buying? imagine dean and cas visiting the shop and dean being like “ooh shiny” and cas being like “dean that’s literally glass”. and dean sniffing ALL the intense. and then frowning at how expensive crystals are, then taking them all home and unwrapping them and spending an hour labelling them all

-

03:56

lauren/laura? [about cas]: “is that your dad?”

jack: “one of them, yes”

now i want an au where jack is in school and everyone assumes his parents are a gay couple but actually they’re just team free will who unanimously adopted him

but spoilers, dean and cas become a couple after repeated hints from other people and visiting the parent-teacher evening together and having everyone assume things so they just roll with it, and it not even feeling weird by the end of the night

maaaaan i wish i was less exhausted all the time so i could just write everything immediately and every day

-

04:00

oh shoot i’m not even halfway through this yet

really enjoying it btw

-

04:02

the necklace is probably cursed

-

04:06

jody: “anything connected to kaia and she’s a powder keg. first love strikes quick, and to lose it like that?”

DREAMHUNTER CONFIRMED

DESTIEL PARALLEL CONFIRMED

GAY CONFIRMED

NEEDS MORE GAY and more destiel parallel

but fuckigng g YES i love this 12/10 what this show needed AND WHAT WE WANTED IN WAYWARD DAUGHTERS goddammit

-

04:14

don’t they take jewellery and other effects off the bodies when they put them in the morgue?

also called it, the cursed necklace

(undoubtedly written so the audience guesses it first)

-

04:20

she just................j umped out th  fuck ing win dow

but of course she’s gonna go get her spear

-

04:25

proud momma bird

-

04:03

oh no jack.....................

:/

-

04:30pm

IT’S OVER THAT WAS GREAT

so happy to see kaia’s face gain, i really hope actual kaia can be saved somehow?? idk if that’s possible given that she Properly Died

but cas doing stuff, even if that stuff is being proud of jack

TWO WOMEN OF COLOUR WHO DIDN’T DIE YEE (is this a first? because even with missouri and patience, missouri died. and with alicia and her mother, her mother died. kaia may already be dead but her face isn’t) (would be BETTER if they interacted too but heck i’ll take it)

it was also really nice to see dean again

and his freckly arms

and cas doing the hearteyes

but BY FAR THE GREATEST THING IS CLAIRE/KAIA BEING CONFIRMED ROMANTIC 

WE ALL KNEW IT, BUT CONFIRMATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELL YES

10/10 episode, i am thoroughly content