youllfloattoomotherfucker

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

This week, I read a fic that was around 20 years old, which had originally been posted on the author's personal website and which she added to AO3 a few years ago. She listed her email address with the fic, so after I finished reading, I sent her an email saying how much I enjoyed the story, how much I appreciated the work and effort she obviously put into it, and thanked her for uploading it to AO3. She responded the next day and thanked me for my message, then said she had a few more stories in the same series that she hadn't gotten around to uploading. I checked this morning--she added a 35,000 word novella and thanked me in the summary.

👏 comment 👏 on 👏 old 👏 fics 👏

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

Bean prints

(via)

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Aesthetic.

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i'll open up my heart 🫀

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A big pillow

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sebastian, horny asf undressing ciel: master why do you have so many layers and fastenings on. It's rather infuriating.

ciel, snorting: then you should have a word with the man who dresses me every day

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Puppy thinks he’s a bunny

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sebastian is actually the safest way for ciel to heal his sexual trauma but antis are not ready for that conversation

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Saved us from a natural disaster

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my fave thing to draw after people napping is people hugging 🤭

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

scary dog privileges poolverine

explicit 18+

tags: jealousy, top wade, bottom logan, dirty talk, breeding, mean wolverine, cowboy position, the author loves italics lol, anal no prep (healing factor mwah), vague feminization, i love you kink if that’s a thing

Everything in this fucking bar is sticky.

Though he’s really trying to be the supportive boyfriend here, Wade has yet to convince himself of a single positive trait this place actually has. It’s loud, it smells, and some ginger with (Wade assumes) a hairless asshole has been flirting with him for the whole five minutes Logan’s been in the bathroom.

“I like your suit.” Slurs the stranger.

He’s tall, but he doesn’t have any cool fangs or cool claws, so Wade does not care. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t even look at the guy, too busy poking the ice in the bottom of his Sex on the Beach with a straw.

Unabashed, the stranger doesn’t let Wade’s clear disinterest deter him. “Why red?” He asks.

Wade glances toward the bathroom and tries to summon Logan with their soulmate connection. “So the little babies of the world can’t tell when I’m bleeding. I do all the murdering for the children.” Deadpool replies sarcastically.

The man nods sagely and takes a long drink of his Coors Lite, like that was the deepest thing he’s ever heard.

Wade huffs a sigh of annoyance inside of his mask. He was hoping that would scare the guy away, but lots of people around here have a superhero fetish so it only serves to make him close even more fucking space. Ugh. Is there a nice way to explain to a stranger that they’re moments away from becoming the Wolverine’s puppet, speared three times up the ass? A, you know, let ‘em down easy sort of delivery, but one that really gets it across that they’re flirting for their life?

“You here alone?” Asks the redhead, leaning into Deadpool’s eyeline.

Wade, again, pointedly ignores him in favor of shoving the ice cubes around in the bottom of his glass. “No dude. And my boyfriend is literally the Wolverine so if I were you, and I cared about keeping that hand… I might consider removing it.”

As if summoned, in all of his six foot three inch glory (six-eleven if you count the eight scrumptious inches imprisoned behind his very sexy full-yellow suit, woof), Wolverine emerges from the bathroom. He stops dead in the doorway, the light behind him surrounding his frame like a halo.

Wade’s eyes are already there even before Logan is, drawn to the glinting silver of his claws… which are already fucking out, and he leads with them, God forgive him.

The stranger removes his hand, much too slowly.

Wade can hear the Wolverine growling all the way from the bar. His skin starts getting tingly. Secretly, he loves this part.

Before he can even register it, Logan’s pressed up behind the redhead, every single inch down his body, the tip of one claw to his carotid artery like a shank. “That’s my boyfriend you’re chatting up.” He says, low into the stranger’s ear.

Wade crosses his legs and squeezes his thighs together. Fuck, this is gonna get hot. He picks up his glass, stirs his ice around, and says, “I told him, Daddy.”

“You shut the fuck up, slut.” Logan spits. “Letting other men touch you at the bar, I’m shaking my fucking head… there’s a motherfuckin’ katana on your back. Two katanas, Wade.”

The man has turned white. He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing dangerously against the point of the blade.

Wade smiles. “Ooh… first names? You’re big pissed.” He sips his drink and kicks his feet a little.

The stranger stutters, and Wade thinks he says something like, I didn't know, sorry, but it’s garbled by the pathetic fear that he knows Wolverine can smell on him.

Logan growls, and the man goes still. “Did he know?” He asks Wade.

“Promise, I told him. Scout’s honor.” Wade grins. “I told him even that my boyfriend is the Wolverine, he didn’t seem to think that was such a big deal.” He shrugs.

Logan scoffs and clicks his tongue.

Wade leans back against the bar, sips his drink, and watches with a little too much glee as Logan shoves the stranger down to land hard on the dirty bar floor.

The man scurries backwards on all fours until he can get up, then practically sprints for the exit.

Wade sighs dreamily and looks to Logan.

He looks livid.

It’s everything Wade has to not start giggling. He holds his glass up for a cheers.

Instead, Logan snarls, grabs his arm, and they’re home in less than ten because he drives very recklessly and gropes Wade through his suit the whole time.

He gets carried inside, slung over the Wolverine’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

In their room, Logan drops Wade to his feet just for the satisfaction of pushing him into the bed. He lands with a little oof.

Dogpool follows the commotion, trots to a stop right outside the open doorway and heels to tip her head inquisitively.

Wade is already panting with the anticipation when he tells her, “Go on, girl. You don’t wanna see what Daddy’s gonna do to me,” and grins.

Logan growls and kicks the door shut. “Stop fuckin’ callin’ me that.” He says, pulling off his gloves.

Wade smiles sweetly and tugs his mask over his head from the back.

Logan starts tearing off his own costume as Wade watches with a hungry grin, not bothering to even try to pretend he isn’t totally and irredeemably turned on right now. He lifts his hips up toward nothing.

When Wolverine gets down to just his skin tight boxer briefs– whore– he looks Wade in the eye. Then, he pulls his claws out again.

Deadpool scoffs. “Oh c’mon baby, don’t be like that.” He grins. “I promise I told him who I belonged to. And I didn’t touch him, didn’t even look at him.”

Logan can tell from the tone of his voice, he’s not taking this fucking seriously at all. The claws go back in before he reaches out and starts tugging Wade’s suit off, ignoring him in favor of getting the useless bastard naked.

Logan’s hunch is only further confirmed by Wade’s stupid fucking mouth, which never ever stops, when it opens again and says, “Even when he put his hands alllll over me, I didn’t look at him.”

That does it.

Logan climbs onto the bed and straddles his hips, grumbling.

Deadpool smiles like the fucking idiot he is and puts his hands behind his head, mocking him pretty much. Fucking asshole.

Logan leans down, his lips brushing with Wade’s as he talks, and asks, “You think this is funny, do you?” Stupid motherfucker. “I should’ve fuckin’ killed that guy. The blood would be on your hands.”

Wade bites his lip and squirms, trying to suppress his growing smile and failing. “Oh nooo. That’d be the first time that’s ever happened to me, too. I can see the headlines now: Mercenary, Wade Wilson, Finally Gets Some Blood on his Hands.”

Logan grins because… okay. That one was actually funny. But he dips down to hide it, sinking his sharp teeth into Wade’s shoulder as a punishment for that stupid motherfucking mouth. He doesn’t care if it was funny.

“Ow, fuck! Bad dog.” Wade huffs, half-heartedly swatting at him.

Logan licks at the bite mark. The skin is already healed over again by the time he pulls away to look at it, so he moves up to kiss Wade, automatically licking into his open mouth.

Wade hums, and when they break, pants, “I should get hit on by strangers more often.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Logan replies, voice low and dangerous. He presses a hand to Wade’s neck.

Wade’s eyes roll back in his head and his hands come up to grab at Logan’s wrist.

“I’m serious. You’re all fuckin’ mine.” Logan snarls.

Wade can’t breathe and he fucking loves it.

“Do you understand?”

Wade shakes his head and grins, so Logan tightens his grip.

“You can go out and find any inadequate, under-endowed fuckin’ loser you want. I just want to make sure you know,” he’s seething, his nails biting in, “you will never, ever find it like me again. Nobody knows your body like me, what you like how I do. Nobody will care about makin’ you come more than once, you spoiled fuckin’ brat. You should be thankin’ me on your knees. I’ll tell you why.” Logan spits. He rolls his hips down into Wade’s, one time.

The friction is addicting. Wade whines for it, despite that he does not have anywhere near enough fucking air in his lungs to be whining.

“You can fuck whoever you want, see if I fuckin’ care because at the end of the day, I know.”

Logan releases the pressure and Wade gasps for breath, giggling deliriously.

“You will always come crawlin’ back for this.”

He grinds down again and Wade moans, “Thank you,” and sucks in another greedy breath. “Don't be mean to me, Daddy.” He rasps. “I promise I won’t get hit on by strangers anymore.”

Logan growls, “If I see you let another person talk to you like that again, I will fucking kill them,” and he even tacks the g on this time to show how serious he is.

Wade grins, mostly because he knows it isn’t an empty threat. Logan’s that crazy, which is unbelievably hot because so is Wade. He reaches down and runs his fingertips along the waistband of Wolverine’s underwear.

Logan grabs his wrists and pins them to the bed under one hand. “Don’t you touch me.”

Deadpool whines.

Wolverine kisses him, all tongue this time, and then pulls away. “You’re so fuckin’ greedy. Can’t even last five minutes without being in the fuckin’ spotlight.” He says.

Deadpool whines again, higher, and wriggles beneath him.

“And you think you have the right to touch me, hah.” Logan spits, literally dripping venom. Why it makes Wade harder than a brick house is beyond him. “I should give you fuckin’ nothin’. Letting strangers out their hands on you at the bar, just to get my attention. Tch.”

Wade just giggles dazedly, rolling his hips up into Wolverine’s ass.

Logan growls and bares his teeth, which is supposed to be threatening Wade guesses? “Hey, have you ever heard of just fuckin’ askin’? Huh?”

Wade huffs and pulls where the Wolverine has his wrists pinned. “Please lemme touch you.” He slurs.

“You’re so fuckin’ lucky I’ve been horny since you made blueberry pancakes this morning. I should give you nothin’, you greedy bitch.” Logan tells him again, rocking his hips down into Wade’s.

Eagerly, Wade moans and rolls his hips back up, huffing, “Your favorite.” Nobody knows you like I do. Then, “C’mon, let me touch.”

With a little growl of frustration, Logan caves. He lets Wade’s hands go.

They instantly pull the gloves off and come straight for Wolverine’s chest, raking desperate nails down its front. Then, Wade grabs Logan’s hips and pulls him into a grind.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Wade purrs.

Logan grunts and leans down, panting into his open neck.

Wade turns to talk into his ear, “I love you.”

And then Logan whimpers. There it is.

Wade smiles, “That’s it puppy, there’s my boy…” He hears the metal snikt of Logan’s claws by his head and his smile spreads into a grin. “I don’t care. Gut me. I’m all yours, forever and ever, until death do us part or you get a restraining order, which I will then violate so many times they’ll have to put me in jail.”

Logan growls under his ear, “We’d be the worst exes.” He slips into a rhythm without even realizing it, really, just rolling his hips into Wade’s because it feels good. “I’d fuck you in the bathroom during visitation.”

Wade huffs a little laugh. It’s so nice to laugh during sex. It makes his chest ache. “So say it back.” He purrs.

Wade’s right arm leaves to dig around in the bedside table. Logan grunts and nibbles his earlobe.

Wade pulls back with the bottle, popping the cap with his thumb. Like Pavlov’s dog, Logan hears the sound of it and pulls Wade’s boxers off first so he can slick his cock while he sheds his own briefs.

“I’m only yours, Wolvie. You can stop stressin’ so much.” Wade purrs, mimicking Logan’s accent.

Logan huffs and climbs into cowboy. Wade dutifully lines himself up, more than eager to get inside of him.

“I only wanna be with you.”

Logan sits back on his heels, taking Wade with no prep. “Ah, fuck,” he hisses through his teeth, nails digging in where his hands are holding himself up on Wade’s chest.

“Feels good baby?” Wade asks, admiring the way Logan’s cock ticks and drips onto his stomach.

“Uh huh,” Logan groans.

“Nobody else can make me feel like this.” Wade purrs, a slick hand on Logan’s left hip and a dry one on his right. He holds him still and fucks up into him like that, moaning at the way he can feel himself forcing Logan open around the width of his cock, fuck. “You’re so tight.”

Logan whimpers back, “Feels so huge.”

Wade grins. He’s always loved the hubris of dick praise. “Was made to fuck you, babygirl. I’m never going back, swear to God. Nobody has it like this.”

That finally earns a rock back from Wolverine, and he drags his nails down a little until Wade bleeds, only for a second. “I’ll– fuckin’ kill–” Logan puffs, “m’serious…” he trails off. He can’t even fucking think with the stretch.

Deadpool laughs under his breath. “What’s that, angel baby?” He teases.

Logan sits up a little and pushes back until Wade bottoms out. God, it is incomprehensibly fucking tight. “Don’t fuckin’ do it again.” He spits.

Wade’s mouth drops open and his hands dig in, pulling Logan onto his cock with newfound enthusiasm. “Never. I’ll never do it again, promise.” He grins. “Scout’s honor.”

Logan growls, low in his chest. Irritating motherfucker. “Shut up,” he mumbles, and he starts to bounce in Wade’s lap.

It isn’t just dirty talk, he actually does feel huge… Logan swears he can feel it in his ribs, especially when he’s on top like this. His cock jumps and drips again, and Wade brings his slick hand down to wrap around it.

“You’re so fucking pretty baby,” Wade mutters, which makes Logan roll his eyes a little. “Nobody compares to you.” He purrs. “Ooh, I’m so lucky.”

The dry hand on Wolverine’s hip pulls him down to meet Wade’s next thrust. The skin on skin slapping is disgustingly obscene, and only getting louder as Logan starts getting fucked in real earnest.

“Wade, my God,” Wolverine mutters helplessly.

“MJ if ya nasty,” Wade grins.

“You’re so fuckin’ frustrating.” Logan grumbles. He starts to bounce back a little harder against Wade’s thrusts, soft uh uh uhs hidden in his every exhale.

“You sound so gorgeous angel,” Wade pants back, starting to stroke Logan’s cock in his sticky fist, made even stickier with precome. “You get so wet.” He purrs.

Wolverine finds himself torn between fucking himself back on Wade’s dick or thrusting into his fist. “Feels so good,” he basically drools.

“Nobody in the world as pretty as you sweetheart,” Wade coos. “So tight and so wet and so pretty.”

“Wade, shut up,” Logan whimpers, but the hot pink flush that settles over the bridge of his sun-speckled nose is so painfully obvious.

“I know you like it princess. This is what you want, right? Want me to–” Wade pauses to fuck up into Wolverine a little harder and grunt, “to tell you how you’re so beautiful, you’re so irreplaceable?”

Logan whines and rolls his hips into Wade’s waiting hand, a pointed decision.

“You’re fucking irreplaceable babydoll.”

Logan flutters his eyes open and looks down at Wade. He stares through his clumped lashes, stuck in spikes with tears from the burn of the stretch.

Wade brings up his free hand, cupping Logan’s jaw. “My hero. Isn’t that right? You and me, forever, us against the world kitty.” His thumb drags over his lover’s lower lip on the drop back down to hold his waist.

Wade coos at him, at his big wet puppy eyes.

It’s sweet. Honestly. Sometimes, Logan just gets soft, sort of insecure… Wade secretly loves it, wrapping him up in his arms and whispering praise into his ear until he feels better. He loves it, loves the way he can take Logan apart with just a few compliments.

He picks up the drag of his hand.

Logan growls under his breath and tips his head back to bare his throat, and Wade drags him down by the hip onto his cock, over and over until his breath gets tight.

“D’you like it, angel?” He asks, seething through his teeth.

“Yes,” Wolverine gasps, leaning down to lick into Wade’s mouth. Wade licks back, tongue curling around the sharp points of Logan’s laterals.

Wade breaks the kiss to pant, “Yeah, you feel fucking amazing.”

The Wolverine keens for him. Wade never stops talking, but during sex he’s especially loose with it. Logan mumbles, “shut up,” again, but he secretly loves it and Wade fucking knows that.

“Nobody out there tight like you.” On and on and on. “Can fucking feel you, sucking me in.”

Logan whimpers, “Jesus, Wade,” and Wade bites back another MJ if ya nasty because he’s pretty sure it’ll all go away if he really says it again.

So instead, he purrs, “I love you baby,” and grins like a fucking crazy person. “Nobody compares to you. You’re the best Wolverine.”

And Logan throws his head back and sobs as he comes white and hot over the backs of Wade’s fingers.

Wade watches the first three shots climb up to his own collarbones, then the next three dripping over his knuckles, and by the end of it he’s been smiling for so long his face hurts.

Logan keeps bouncing in his lap. “C’mon, come inside,” he slurs, sounding totally delirious.

That’s what Wade loves about this Wolverine. Even though, most of the time, he’s on the bottom… he’s still so giving. He always keeps going until Wade comes, begs him to, even. It’s the hottest fucking thing in the entire world.

Logan leans down and sinks his teeth into Wade’s neck. Then, his lips come up a little to kiss the corner of Wade’s mouth, printing him red, and he whispers, “I love you.”

Wade moans, “Oh fuck yes,” and buries himself as deep as he can get, coming inside of Logan with literal fucking intention. It feels like it lasts forever, and Logan keeps rocking back against him over and over to ride it out until Wade starts to whine.

Logan collapses on top of him, Wade still inside, and pants like a dog into his ear.

“Jesus Christ,” Wade mutters.

Logan huffs a breathless little laugh. “MJ if I’m nasty?” He asks, voice rough with the lingering remnants of being fucked out of his God damned mind.

Wade groans and rolls his hips again. “You’re my fucking soulmate.”

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

Ethel Cain being mother again

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.

[youllfloattoomotherfucker]

I need to draw my fancy Rat King again. This sketch is almost six years old.