#i literally cant look at it anymore or add any more photos or videos or it crashes lol

[sargeantposting]

A Logan Sargeant Primer: Part I (2000 - 2015)

Logan grows up in a ritzy suburb of Fort Lauderdale called Lighthouse Point with his parents and his older brother, Dalton.

The Sargeants don't have a deep motorsport history. Dalton and Logan get their first go-karts for Christmas in 2006, a gift from their father after their mother refuses to let her children ride dirt bikes anymore. Logan tells the NYT that:

“No one in the family was really even that much into racing. We just picked it up as a hobby, something to do on the weekend.”

The two brothers get more serious as the years go by-- within a few years, they're racing competitively. They both do well. Logan finishes in third place in only his first year of racing, and wins two titles in his second. 

Unfortunately, they figure out fairly quickly that there isn’t much more room to advance in American karting:

My older brother, Dalton, and I had been racing for a few years, and it had gotten to the point where we were asking around about where the next best level of competition was, and everybody was saying the same thing…. It was always Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe. To the point where my parents really started to think about it. At first it was just this idea, like Maybe we’ll move to Europe, who knows. I was just a kid overhearing stuff, so I didn’t know how serious the conversation must have been until this day I’ll never forget.

The conversation gets serious in 2012, when Logan’s dad, Daniel, asks the two if they want to move to Switzerland:

It was summer, and we were out to lunch. It was me, my dad, and Dalton. [...] So we’re at this restaurant, right? Chowing down on burgers (my favorite), and my dad gets to asking us about racing. Finally, he’s like, “What do you guys think? Do you really want to race in Europe? Are you 100% sure about this?” Me being 11 and naive, I was like, “Yeah sure.”  Looking back on it, I think I was lucky I was that young and that I didn’t really know what I was signing up for. All the different ways it could change my life, the level of sacrifice it would require from my whole family. Because if I had known, I don’t know if I would’ve made the same decision so easily. It all happened fast, like in the movies. One minute, it’s Christmas, I’m six, and me and Dalton are yelling at the top of our lungs, excited about the two karts sitting in the driveway, pointed diagonally at each other like in a magazine. Next minute, I’m 11 and Dalton’s 14. We’re sitting at the table eating lunch with my dad, and it’s decided — our family’s moving to Europe.

When Logan tells the same story in GQ in 2023, he says:

I was always just going with the flow. For me it was just: sure.

The Sergeant family leaves for Switzerland just as Logan finishes up fifth grade. While Logan always talks about the family move to Switzerland in the context of his parents making sacrifices for his career, it's a little more complicated than that.

 GQ’s profile steps around the subject, briefly mentioning that “in addition to the racing opportunities, [Logan’s] Dad had business there.” Unfortunately, business would be an understatement. 

At the time, Logan’s dad, Daniel, worked for the family business– an asphalt trading and shipping company named Sergeant Marine. One of the driving forces behind Sergeant Marine’s success would be Daniel’s older brother, Harry. 

When Logan’s detractors mention his family’s connections to Trump, they’re usually referencing Harry. The NYT describes his billionaire uncle as “a former [Top Gun] fighter pilot and onetime finance chair of Florida’s Republican Party who has been sued by the brother-in-law of King Abdullah II of Jordan and whose name turned up, tangentially, in the 2020 impeachment of former President Donald J. Trump. (Harry was not accused of any wrongdoing.)” 

Harry would leave the company around the time Daniel moved his family to Switzerland. According to The Florida Phoenix, “The entire family was embroiled in a long-running bitter series of lawsuits that ended with a 2015 bankruptcy settlement. Harry III walked away with a cool $56-million. In return he gave up any claim to ownership of Sargeant Marine and other family companies. There were 14 different lawsuits in several states in addition to the bankruptcy. The lawsuits produced salacious testimony that could only arise in a vicious dispute between millionaires. Harry III accused his brother Daniel of spending millions on his sons’ pursuits of race car driving and other ventures. Meanwhile, Daniel accused Sargeant III of being a spendthrift on things such as a $7.5-million mansion, private jets and exotic cars.”

Logan with his dad.

It would, somehow, get worse:

Oil and asphalt mogul Harry Sargeant III claims that industrial design plans along with recordings of "private consensual relations" were purloined from his private email account and traded off to a corporate intelligence agent as part of a years-long smear campaign against him spearheaded by his brother. Reigniting a long-running saga of brother-against-brother litigation, Harry Sargeant III claims that hundreds of pages of business records, personal discussions and "extremely sensitive videos and photographs" were illegally obtained from his email account. The material was used as currency for information-bartering between his brother Daniel Sargeant and a corporate intelligence chief at the nonparty legal service firm Burford, the lawsuit alleges. Harry is demanding damages for alleged invasion of privacy on the part of Daniel. The brothers had in years past worked together on managing the Sargeant family's global oil and asphalt empire, before intra-family disputes began to tear them apart. [...] The lawsuit claims the Burford investigator, a former corporate attorney, knows Harry well. According to the court documents, the investigator for years worked as an enforcement agent on a $28 million judgment secured against Harry by the king of Jordan's brother-in-law Mohammad Al-Saleh, who accused Harry of cutting him out of a deal to distribute oil to troops in the Iraq War. [...] Harry claims brother Daniel gave the corporate intelligence agent the treasure trove of Harry's emails  in exchange for inside information that would help the Sargeant family's asphalt company Latin American Investments in a separate multimillion-dollar legal dispute. Harry's underlying email account ran on a server of the family company Sargeant Marine. When he was ousted from the Sargeant empire, Harry had been told that the account was cut off at the root and all information in it had been destroyed, the lawsuit says. The lifted emails were instead provided to an "untold number of people" inside and outside of the family businesses in 2016, the lawsuit claims.

The information that Daniel traded his brother’s sex tape for would end up being useless. Daniel is currently out a $5 million bond and awaiting sentencing for the foreign bribery and money laundering charges he pled guilty to back in 2019. After bribing officials in three South American countries to secure asphalt contracts, the Department of Justice ended up making an example of the company– and Daniel– for violating the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. 

While Logan cites his career as a big reason for the family move, it appears that Sargeant Marine had conveniently made shell companies in Switzerland to aid in their illegal business dealings that same year.

Logan, blissfully unaware of any drama, tries to make the most of the big move. They move to Lugano, Switzerland– Dalton and Logan go to the American School on weekdays and race on the weekends in the European junior circuit, bouncing them between Italy, Switzerland and Britain. In GQ, Logan says:

“I definitely felt like school was a lot more challenging than in Florida,” he recalled. “And we were missing a lot of school, for sure, but that’s part of it with racing. It is what it is.”

Logan loves Switzerland. In his Players’ Tribune article, he says:

We moved into a three-bedroom apartment. It was me, my parents, Dalton, and our dog Roxy, the world traveler. Big difference from Florida. We had a whole new life. I loved Switzerland. I had a lot of good friends at my school there. I can’t explain it, but I just felt more a part of things. Me and my friends were big Chelsea fans, and we’d be hanging out, playing soccer all the time. We played Call of Duty like every other kid in the world.

However… Logan is the only one. Daniel is out doing shady asphalt deals around the world and suing his brother. Dalton moves back to Florida after a year-and-a-half. Their mother follows soon after that. Logan ends up living alone at the school: 

Dalton was my older brother, so for as far back as I can remember, I was chasing him. Man, we fought all the time. Every race, we were up against all these other kids, but he was always the one I was really trying to beat. But the thing is, when you’re a kid you miss things. You just can’t see everything so clearly. Like, for instance, being a bit older than me, I think he felt the shift more strongly when we moved, but I didn’t know it. He stayed in Switzerland for a year and a half, did some European karting, and started testing Formula cars. Then one day he just decided he wanted to go home and race in America. I won’t lie, that was a shock at the time. But I get it more now. Making that big life change was hard on my mom, too. Just think, you’re living in this brand new place, don’t have many friends. Me and Dalton were at school all day. My dad was traveling all over the place with work, so he was hardly there. The reality is, she was on her own a lot. So she ended up going back to Florida, too. For about a year and a half after that, it was just me. I was living at the school during that time.

When talking about how his mom moved back to Florida while Logan was living alone in Europe as a teenager, he told the Players’ Tribune that:

Looking back on everything, I just see all the sacrifices they made, and it means so much. No matter what they were going through, my family always pushed me to keep going. I feel like that was probably the hardest for my mom, especially. She means the world to me. She’s a bit of a worrier too, and overthinks. I think I get that from her. She’s always been the person I could go to when I was doubting myself. So I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her to encourage me to keep going, when I know she probably wanted our family to be together. I’m really grateful, not only that they believed in me that much, to move our entire family, but that they took my passion for driving seriously enough not to let me give it all up.

While Logan’s personal life may be troubled, his karting career is doing exceptionally well. In 2014, he wins the prestigious SuperNats18 in Vegas:

Infinity Sports Management, Facebook - SARGEANT DOMINATES IN LAS VEGAS. Logan Sargeant produced a stunning display last weekend in the TAG Junior category at the Supernationals race in Las Vegas. After finishing runner up in the race in 2013 Logan was eager to go one better this year and bring home the winners trophy. Although Logan got pipped in qualifying he still managed to win every heat ensuring he would start from pole position for the final on Sunday. From there he kept the lead and came home 5.6 seconds clear of the second driver. With this win in TAG Junior Logan become the first driver ever to win the TAG Cadet and TAG Junior categories at the Supernationals race.

2015 manages to be even more exceptional. Logan starts the season by being the first North American driver to win a WSK event by winning the WSK Champions Cup in La Conca, Italy.

Logan with his mother after winning the WSK Champions Cup.

The season reaches its peak with Logan becomes the first American to win an FIA Karting World Championship, the top junior series, since Lake Speed in 1978.

He gets to go to the FIA Awards:

Logan: And I couldn’t thank my mechanic enough. And also my parents, uh, they really helped me to be able to win the world championship and it’s just an amazing feeling. Interviewer: I mean, did you, did you, what did you do when you found out you won? Did you call your friends at home? Did you phone your grandpa? What did you get up to? Logan: Uh, no, I just gave my mom and dad a really big hug. Interviewer: Is it still sinking in now? Logan: Yeah, it’s, it’s a really emotional thing. [...] Interviewer: Tell me about when you were a little bit younger than you are now. You’re only 14 now. But why racing, why, why is this so important to you? Logan: Um, well, my dad bought me a, a racing kart when I was five years old and we started from there. We thought it would just be like a little hobby and, uh, it ended up becoming like a professional thing we did. So. Interviewer: So, so was there a moment when you, when you or your dad just thought ‘Wow, I’m quick. I can do this’? Logan: Um, well, not really. We just kept progressing and then, um, when we, when we decided to come to Europe to race, um, we moved to Switzerland and from then on we were just, uh, going to school, I started going to school in Switzerland. And, yeah, and then we just kept going and then ended up like this. Interviewer: Do you have any other hobbies? Can you fit anything else in? Logan: Um, well, other than school it’s really hard. But when I get my breaks and I go back to Florida for, um, I like to go fishing a lot and, yeah, that’s what I do. Mostly. 

When interviewed after his win, Logan tells kart360 that:

Moving away from home is a very hard thing in your own personal life. You lose all of your best friends. You don’t have your "home" and you have to adapt to a different culture. It is hard to move to a country that speaks a different language than what you know, but racing is so important to me that I stuck through it and kept on going.

Logan clearly struggles on a personal level. He discusses his feelings in his Players’ Tribune article, saying: 

Coming up racing as a kid isn’t easy. That’s the most honest way I can put it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to myself, I’m done. I’m ready to come home. I’m glad I didn’t, but there were plenty of times when I wanted to. I remember one big time was the summer right after Dalton went back. We took this trip to the Bahamas with some of our extended family and friends. We were on the water, and everything was feeling like old times. And I think I just had this pit in the bottom of my stomach, like dreading going back. There was a night when I went to my mom, and I was like, “I’m just ready to come home.” I remember her asking me more questions about what I was feeling. I don’t even remember what I said, to be honest. I just remember that she didn’t tell me what to do. She left it completely up to me. My dad used to always say, “If you put in the work now, it’ll pay off eventually — it’ll be worth it.” And he kind of reminded me of that on that trip too. It’ll be worth it. Those four little words … that’s what kept me going. After that I sucked it up, went back to Switzerland, put my head down, and I went for it."

When Logan makes the jump to single seaters the next year, his parents rent him an apartment to live in by himself in London. The only time he’ll spend more than a few weeks in the US since he was a 12-year old would be during COVID.

But Logan’s time in single seaters will be for the next installment.

Logan through the years.

[theyanderespecialist]

Cheating 2 (One Shot) Bucky X OC Marie X Steve (1950's AU) (Yandere) (Marvel)

(no one's pov)

Marie was shocked, she didn't know what to say, what she could say..she felt like she was cheating on Bucky when Steve started to come around and make sure she was okay, she never touched him, but she felt an emotional connection. But now..to be held, she was desperate for that. She gripped his hands as she slowly kissed him back, but she didn't know what to think. God.. what if Bucky came home? ....he probably wouldn't even care actually. So there was nothing wrong with this. Steve stayed loyal all this time and never made a move for her sake. Now when he sees her wrong her makes a move and she needed it

(...steve... you're so dead)

(Beyond dead XD)

Marie wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her as she started to cry, not because she was sad, well sad because of the kiss, but because she finally has someone touching her,holding her, letting her know she's important.

(I mean she's like touch starved at this point)

(Yes she is)

(cause like touch starving can take a while but if you are in a relationship with someone, in the same house, and they aren't even paying attention, it can make it worse)

(Yes it can and it also happens in kids who are in abussive house holds they become touch starve for even simple things like hugs. IT is a sad and dangerous case. And we mean could touch like hugs and kisses on head touch starve is not just sexual)

(Yeah like all touch)

(Mmmmhmmm also can happen in infants when they are not skin to skin or neglected without being held as babies. I remember a old video in health class how babies reacted to not getting enough touch or attention. It is terrible of the psyche.)

He pulls away and wipes those tears away. "It is okay, you are the most important thing in my life." He says. "And I will show you just how much I love you and adore you and how important you are."

He picks her up and carried her up to the master bedroom.

(Oh shit you doing it in their bed XD Bucky wont be happy)

She held onto him as she looked up at him. "i-I ..I've only done this once.. I-I'm sorry if I'm not any good--"

"hey don't talk like that." He kisses her. "Actually you will be my first." He says blushing. "I just it did not feel right the idea of making love with someone I did not truly love."

(UGH!!!! Steve XD Why does your name have to be Steve if it was not I be all over that ass XD)

She looked at him for a moment as she smiled at him. "Steve..oh steve." She muttered as she gave a smile touching the side of his face. "How long?" She asked.

(Yeah how long you been thinking about stealing your best friends girl? I mean part of it because romance the other part she has literally no self love anymore and needs it)

"Since the day I met you, I know it is corny but I believe it was love at first sight, but I was not good enough for you, I was weak and wimpy and could not give you the life you deserved. It killed me to stand next to my best friend as his best man and watch the woman I love Marry him." He says kissing down her neck. "I won't make the same mistake twice. I am not loosing you again."

"steve.. when you came the first time, before the serum, I.. I still I had feelings for you..you were never wimpy, you fought even when you couldn't win them.." she muttered softly as she smiled.

He laid his head on her chest and smiled. "I wanted to give you the world..." He says. "But if I had been a man I could given you not the world but what you needed, love, adoration, loyalty and a family. I want to correct that mistake, only if you want me to."

She looked down at him, her hands now running through his hair. "I want you too..I need it Steve." She said softly

"I will give it all and more." He promises sealing it with a kiss and they began to make out heatedly.

He held her close as her hands untied her robe that she was wearing, pulling it off as she kicked it off the bed, not really caring if where it would land, and it end up landing right on the wedding photo of her and Bucky before he left. He kisses down her chest and takes a nipple in her mouth making her moan loudly and he moved one hand down to rub her clit.

She moaned as her hips moved to meet his hand as she gripped the sides of the bed. There was something so wrong about doing this in her and her husband's bed.. but she really didn't care as she arched into Steve.

(uh yeah lady, something super wrong.)

(Yeah I just cant put my finger on it. XD Is it the little red dot on steves head? Or the guy watching from the rooftop across the way or the fact that their is a microchip in your skin XD Something is wrong XD)

(Your husband, who was tortured and lost an arm, who was thought to be dead but was alive, comes back...and youre having sex..not with a stranger..but his best friend (and target))

(XD Oh that XD Yeah that too XD)

(I mean all of thkse are also valid just ...moan out how he's better than bucky why don't you)

(Yeah also do it near the microphone in the wall so he can really hear it XD Oh god Bucky is going to kill us XD)

(XD he's gonna kill you, not me xD but...death would be better)

\

(He is going to fuck you until you can never walk again then take you to a hydra base and never let you see the daylight again while he continues to fuck you until you are filled with his seed XD That is his next mission BABIES XD me I be dead in a ditch rotting while you live a life of making super soldier babies XD)

(Uh...I'll take death is death still on the table?)

(Maybe... if you egg him on enough XD)

Steve smiles in the kiss and slowly slips a finger in making her moan louder and start riding that one finger wanting more.

(I mean I'd have to find a time I WASN'T pregnant Which.. Is never in that scenario)

(Welp you are going be a baby making machine and Bucky will breed you three ways to sunday XD)

(do I at least get the weekends off?)

\

(Hmmmm I think that could be negotiated XD)

She kissed his again as she as waited for him to add the second, which he quickly did as she moaned, this went on for a while until she started whining.

"C-Come on Steve..p-please.." she asked softly as he looked at her and smiled as he kissed her once more as he started pushing in as she moaned.

"Oh god..it feels so good..you already feel so much better than bucky."

(And xD she did it mate. Like...ouch. steve hasn't even done anything and he already feels better than Bucky)

(XD She did he dead XD He deader than dead XD He drop dead burried eight feet XD)

"y-you know steve.. I-I don't want you to pull out. I-I want you and I to start a family"

(just to make it worse

(again....in her and her HUSBAND'S bed)

(XD You might be dead before baby making XD you keep that up XD)

(Hey I'm touch starved, I was vunrable Steve took advantage)

(Damn XD Selling Steve down the river XD)

They continue like this and Steve lined up no condom on and no plans to stop until she was pregnant.

(And another breeder -.- the army be giving these guys something fishy XD)

She smiled at him as he pushed into her as she let out a moan as her hands shoot out, wrapping around Steve.

"D-Do I feel good?" She asked

(praise her. She deserves it Steve. I don't know why she does, but she does)

(She waited over a year for it she deserves it XD)

"You feel so wonderful~" He purrs. "Better than I ever imagined."

She let out a small, happy moan as she smiled. "I-imagined huh? You think about it a lot?" She teased

(all must give at least 3 praises for praise kink Marie.)

(all hail praise Kink Marie! XD)

"Yes every day since I met you imagine how you feel milking me dry and filling you up with my seed how pretty you look all hot and sweaty under me." He says. "They can never compare to the real thing."

She blushed bit the smile on her face and the pure happiness in her eyes it was something Steve hadn't seen for over a year.

(Awwww)

(So damn sweet!)

He kisses her deeply. "There it is~" He says. "That perfect smile that makes my stomach do flip flops every time I see it."

(Oh god steve you sweetheart! Cinnamon roll)

She blushed darkly as she moaned when he thrust gently, it was..sweet. she covered her face at his words, yet even her ears were red, and she could try and hide it..but her smile was so big, he could see behind her hands. He grins kissing her face all over and then they started to fuck and oh did they fuck he kept praising her and she felt more love than any other time in her life. They both came together and then Steve smiles until he sees a red sniper light on the wall. He pulls Marie to the floor right when a bullet goes into the house.

[seokoloqy]

Making Mistakes | kth (m)

➳ PAIRING: taehyung x y/n

➳ GENRE: smut, f2l, fuckboy!tae

➳ WORD COUNT: 2.1k

➳ WARNINGS: he takes pictures and videos (idk the term for that), fingering, dirty talk

➳ REQUEST: For the smut drabbles “I cant stop thinking about your hands on me” with taehyung please? + ‘You like that don’t you’ + taehyung

➳ A/N: this was a request that got a little too long + I combined it w another one so... anons, this is for you <33

—

You’ve been avoiding Taehyung like the plague as if he’ll infect you with the smallest touch. But truth be told, him touching you is all you can think about anymore. Ever since Saturday night at Hoseok’s party after you two had drunkenly slept together, he has invaded your thoughts.

You can barely look at him. Twelve years of friendship and it only took one night to ruin it all.

Since that fateful night, Taehyung has been sending you texts, blowing up your phone with calls, even swinging by your dorm between classes when he knows you’d be there. All his attempts to reach out to you have been ignored. You delete his texts, turn off your voicemail, and pretend you aren’t home by burying yourself underneath your covers and block out the sound of him pounding your door.

Did that night mean anything?

Feelings that lay dormant since sixth grade bubbled to the surface that night and you’re afraid that they’ll burst. You’ve kept them down for years, refusing to admit the truth to anyone. Now things are messy, now they’re complicated, now he wants to talk.

Taehyung has a track record for the most people slept with, most one night stands, most friends with benefits. That night was just one of the many he’s had and it probably meant nothing to him.

It was a mistake—a drunk, stupid mistake.

You bury your face into your hands, groaning just thinking about your best friend. It’s been three days without him and you’re starting to miss his bubbly presence around you.

You’ve thought about picking up your phone and giving him a call to sort things out, but your nerves just get in the way. Having to hear his raspy voice again would only remind you of how it felt against your skin, grunting curses and whispering your name.

“Fuck,” you mumble, falling back on to your bed. You grab your phone, wondering if he texted you again.

[Taehyung 10:27 PM] hey can we talk soon?

[Taehyung 10:34 PM] please stop ignoring me we should talk

[Seokjin 10:34 PM] come over movie night @ Namjoon’s place!! (ps bring snacks)

You debate on going. There’s a large possibility that you’ll run into Taehyung—your friends are his friends too. As you mull over it in your head, you choose to send a message back.

[You 10:35 PM] is Tae gonna be there?

[Seokjin 10:35 PM] no he said he can’t come. Studying.

[You 10:35 PM] ...okay b there in 20

—

The apartment is quiet, unusually quiet for movie night. As you knock the door, you hear shuffling and muffled whispers. It’s Jungkook who opens the door to greet you with a close-lipped smile.

“Hey,” he says, pulling the door wider to let you through. “We were just starting.”

As you slip your shoes off and turn the corner to the living room, you catch the unmistakable head of turquoise hair lounging on the couch facing away from you. Immediately, you pull Jungkook in front of you and whisper, “What the hell! Jin said Tae wouldn’t be here!”

“He changed his mind. What’s the big deal?”

“I have to go,” you panic, spinning towards the door to retreat back to your car to hide.

Jungkook grabs your arm, hauling you back. “No way! The movie is just starting.”

“Y/N.”

Jungkook releases your arm for you to turn and face Taehyung. You want to run, scream, maybe faint. God, you aren’t prepared for this at all.

“Hi,” you breathe, averting your eyes towards Jungkook for help, but he heads back to the couch instead. That leaves you and Taehyung, standing in the dark hall, alone.

“We have to talk.”

“I don’t think we should do this here.” The rest of the boys are only ten feet away, you don’t want anyone finding out. Who knows what kind of rift it would cause?

“Why not? Are you afraid the guys will hear about how we slept-”

You slap your hands over his mouth, abruptly cutting off the rest of his sentence. “Shh, not here!” You plead, looking around for a safer place to discuss things. You drag him to Namjoon’s room at the end of the hall, furthest away from the living room.

As you push him inside, you silently shut the door behind you. Taehyung flips the light switch and gives you an expectant look. He edges closer, leading you back until you’re touching the door.

“Tell me the truth,” he rasps, “Do you think it was a mistake?”

The proximity between your bodies is tempting. His hand crawls up your arm until he’s cupping your neck to make you look up. The heat radiating is enough to make you sweat.

“Yes,” you squeak, turning your head away from his, unable to look at him any longer. He leans his forehead against yours, lips only centimeters away from the corner of yours.

“I don’t believe you,” he growls, gripping your chin to force you to face him.

“What do you want me to say?” You whimper, trying to figure out what he’s asking for.

“I want you to tell me the truth,” he repeats, the intensity of his gaze becoming heavier with each second you stay silent.

Tell him the truth, you think. There’s no going back now. He has you cornered, literally, and won’t let you go until you confess.

You swipe your tongue across your lower lip, admitting, “F-Fine! If I tell you h-how I can’t stop thinking about your hands on me or how badly I want you again—will you give it up?” You screw your eyes shut, embarrassed by the words that tumbled out of your mouth without a second thought. “Fuck, I just-”

His lips roughly connect with yours as he cups your face in his hands, silencing you from saying anything more. You're startled by his action, confused but aroused by the determination he seems to hold into this kiss.

Your fingers comb their way through his blue locks and your other hand runs down the expanse of his chest to his navel. A spark travels through you as his tongue swipes across your lower lip. The familiar wetness between your legs as his hands slowly slide down to your back returns, reminding you of that night.

You’re not thinking, just feeling his hands making a path down the column of your spine as you arch into him naturally. As you press yourself against him, the apparent bulge in his jeans touches your core.

“Get on the bed,” he orders, peeling himself away from your clinging fingertips. His alluring gaze guides your feet over to the bed. You relax on Namjoon’s duvet, letting your hands run along the white peaks of his sheets.

Taehyung stalks over to you like a wolf catching prey with a lethal glint in his eyes. He’s out for flesh and blood with the desire to devour you whole.

“Lay back, baby, I’ll make you feel good,” he promises. You don’t doubt his abilities, feeling a rush of adrenaline flood your body as your head hits the pillows. “You remember how my fingers felt.”

You nod breathlessly, watching his hands move to unbutton your pants and slide them off, leaving just your white panties on.

He groans lowly, eyeing your legs, “God, you’re fucking-”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead choosing to dig into his back pocket to retrieve his sleek black phone. You raise your head at the sound of a click as he unlocks it.

“What are you doing?”

“Relax, these are for my eyes only. I’d never let anyone else see you like this because,” Taehyung swiftly pulls down your panties, eliciting a yelp from you, “this is all mine.”

He dips down to your glistening heat, pulling apart your thighs with his phone still clutched in one hand. He hungrily eyes your core, angling the phone before your pink folds and snapping a memorable photo for safe keeping. After a few more clicks, you feel his prodding finger run up your entrance, gathering a drop of your juices.

You whine, pleading for something more, “Tae, please.”

Taehyung absentmindedly runs his finger up and down, watching as you squirm. “Can I record you too?” He asks, sucking in his bottom lip as he looks down at you. His phone clutched in hand, hovering over your core.

You trust Taehyung with every fiber of your being that he would never let any of these photos meet anyone else’s eyes. He’s your best friend, of course, you trust him.

“Yes,” you consent, wanting nothing more than for him to continue touching you. He gets back to work without another precious second wasted, one hand positions the phone in front of your soaked pussy and the other begins rubbing mind-numbing circles on your clit.

Your hips buck instantly with a wanton moan falling from your lips, “T-Tae- Oh!”

One slender finger enters you without warning, steadily pumping and curling against your tight walls. Your knees bend as your feet struggle to stay planted on the mattress. The camera focused between your thighs have you squirming, he’s catching every second of your writhing and whining.

“Stay still for me, sweetheart, you look so good like this. If the guys saw you…” he groans.

Your eyes snap open. Oh god, the boys, you totally forgot they were here. You clamp your mouth shut, hoping your previous moans weren’t loud enough to arouse suspicion. His finger continues pumping inside of you, and you struggle to keep your moans in. They come out as short whines instead.

Taehyung pouts, noticing the lack of reaction, “Where did those pretty moans go?”

You bite your lip, refusing to let them go and shaking your head. If one of them walks in…

“Come on, moan for me,” he demands, increasing his pace and sliding another finger in. You gasp from the intrusion, but don’t let another moan escape you. He discards the phone onto the bed, leaning over your body, pressing his weight against you. His hand grabs your chin, forcing his thumb into your mouth, prying your lips apart. “Who gives a fuck if the boys are listening. I want to hear you scream.”

“Ah!” Your jaw falls slack as he adds a third finger suddenly, stretching you out. You cry out from absolute pleasure.

He leans back, smirking and satisfied with your cries, “That’s better.” He continues his relentless pace, slamming his fingers into you and hitting the perfect spot with his slender fingers. “You like that, don’t you? You like my fingers filling up your tight pussy.”

“Yes, feels so good,” you moan, back arching off the mattress. He makes you feel on fire with his husky words and sinful touches. You dig your fingers into the cotton white sheets, knuckles turning white as the euphoric feeling in your abdomen begins to build.

As if sensing your orgasm quickly approaching, he edges you on, “Come for me, baby. Let go.”

You clench around his three fingers, bucking your hips to meet his pounding fingers and crying his name as you climax. “Ah, Tae,” you chant his name, pleasure flooding your body.

He slows down his fingers until they still inside you. His lidded gaze travels from your pussy to your heaving chest, and then your blown up pupils. His fingers gently ease out of you and he brings your savory juices to his lips, capturing his fingers in his mouth for a taste.

Your jaw drops as he releases a throaty moan after he pops his fingers back out licked clean.

“Perfect,” he purrs, leaning over to kiss you with of your essence still lingering on his lips. “Fucking perfect. I love you so much.”

You snap your head back as if he’s just hit you. “W-What?”

“I said I love you.” He shrugs off, leaning in for another kiss.

You completely push him off, scrambling to sit up as he huffs and sits back on his calves. “Yeah, you did I heard you the first time. But do you really mean it?”

He looks baffled, shaking his head and pressing you back down to the bed. “Of course I mean it. That’s what I’ve been trying to talk to you about since Saturday, but you kept ignoring me.”

You feel like an idiot. This whole time he’s been trying to tell you how he’s felt and you kept running the other direction, too scared to face the feelings that he has shared all along.

A grin forms on your face, pulling his face closer to you until your noses are nearly touching. “I love you too, Taehyung.”

[dufieslocals16]

Mikey

Your POV "What is up guys currently I have Y/N here with me in the vlog. We are on our way to pick up Jake and Ademir," Mikey said as you drove his car over to Jake's house. "Do you want to tell them what we are going to do?" Mikey asked "We are going to be doing a 3 am challenge at Clinton road," You said pulling up into jakes house. You got the chills as you pulled up, these 3 am challenges were getting crazy. Although you also had a YouTube channel it was a little more mellow compared to what jake, Ademir and mikey do in a daily basis. "Are you going to vlog?" Mikey asked and you nodded, getting out your camera and doing your regular intro. "Low key I always fucking hate coming to jakes house like it gives me bad vibes I can't," You say to your viewers and to Mikey, he smiled playfully pushing you and you smiled back playing along. You've had a crush on mikey for a long time now, but you never told him or anyone for that matter. The locals were quickly picking up on the signals shipping you guys, making videos edits etc. You noticed a change in mikey since fans starting the whole trend between you two. "Jake open up," Mikey said and jake opened the door  with Ademir right behind him. "Yo what's up. Y/N hey how you doing?" Jake asked giving you a hug. When you had first met jake he was more of a brotherly figure towards you, he was very protective when it came to challenges like this. " honestly can we get something to eat I'm literally starving," You laughed earring smiles from the guys. "Guys literally Jake's house give me the freaking Heebie jeebies like I hate coming here," You said to your viewers and Jake just laughed. "I'm serious I straight up get bad vibes.. you guys know how I am with this stuff," You said "Ademir do something for the Vlog," You said pointing the camera to Ademir, He was eating some almonds and he straight up stuck his mouth in front of your camera. "That's fucking gross," You laughed pushing his face away from the camera. "I GIVE NO FUCKS!" He yelled making you laugh, you found it so funny the way he would sound saying it. "She's stright up dying right now," Jake said pointing his camera towards you as you turned red from laughing so much. "I just can't with him," you said resting your hands on your knees catching your breath. You all piled into Mikey's car you sat in the front while Jake and Ademir sat in the back. "How come she gets to sit in the front?" Ademir asked "Because she sucks his shit dumb nice," Jake said laughing, you spun around and started pinching his legs making him squel, you then grabbed your show beating Jake with it. you laughed sitting back in your seat, you looked over to see Mikey clentching his jaw. He stopped at Wawa's parking lot. "Yo mikey you good?" Ademir asked, Mikey didn't say anything getting out of the car and slamming the door making you jump. "What the fuck was that about?" Jake asked and you shrugged shaking your head. "I don't know," You said "You think he got mad?" Ademir asked "He has no reason to i knew you were joking," you said furrowing your eyebrows. "Ima go talk to him," You said leaving your camera in the front seat as you got out to meet mikey in the store. "Mikey are you okay you kind stormed off on us," You said, he was looking for a drink in the back isle. He wouldn't look at you, he seemded to focused on the drinks. "Yeah I'm fine why wouldn't i be," He replied as if nothing had happened. "Really? so you didnt just storm out of your car and slam the door. hard may i add," You said scoffing. He shrugged grabbing the drink he was looking for and walked away from you. "Mike," You said firmly stopping him in his tracks. "I Just don't like how they treat you like one of the guys! and I don't like jake telling you those things! I don't like how you have a close relationship with jake! or how you goof off with Ademir!" He said taking you by surprise, he scoffed walking away again. You stepped infront of him to avoid him going any further. "Mikey what are you talking about?! Where is all this coming from. Jake and Ademir are like brothers that I never had or wanted for that matter because they annoy the shit out of me sometimes. There is no reason for you to be mad Jake he was just joking okay! Plus you didn't see me beating him with my shoe," You explained taking your shoe off and waving it in front of his face. He couldn't contain his serious face any longer, and flashed you that million dollar smile that made your heart melt. "There's that smile," You said hugging him. "Okay pay for your drink so we can go to Applebee's and get some food," You said heading back to the car. "Is he good?" Jake asked and you nodded putting on your seatbelt as Mikey walked out of WaWa's. "Okay guys we are headed to Applebee's hopefully we don't get kicked out this time or banned but I will see you guys at Applebee's," You said smiling at your camera. "That was so wack," Ademir said "Boy you don't even know how to work YouTube Mr. I only have two covers," You mimicked in a low voice making jake and mikey laugh. "First off all its three!" He said holding up three fingers. You laughed at his childishness getting out f the car. After grabbing a bite to eat, you all made your way to seaside to seize the day. Looking for parking Mikey was talking In a high pitched voice to the innocent bystander making you all laugh. "Those poor bystanders," You said pointing the camera at him as he laughed. He finally found a parking space and parked, As you all piled out of the car fans had come up to you to take a picture. "Thank you," They said walking away. "No thank you guys I love you!" You smiled waving them goodbye. "Awwe how cute," Ademir said and you rolled your eyes at him. "Jake remember the time you got arrested," You stated laughing. "Oh I know that was so stupid," He said explaining to his fans how and why he got arrested. "Guy manfs is about to do something fat for the blog," Jake said pointing the camera to mikey that was up in the doc. He did a back flip off of the dock landing It as everyone cheered. "Damn manfs isn't even here for 10 minutes and he's already surrounded by a crowd," Ademir yelled getting on the dock as well. "ready ready," He said to Jake "Okay if I flip off of this deck and land it you have to kiss me," He said to a girl standing by and she nodded agreeing. "Yo he's flipping for kisses," Jake said, Ademir ran and jumped up landing a triple flip. "The more flips the more kisses," Mikey said getting Ademir three kisses. You shook your head at the situation laughing. "Okay if I land a triple flip off the dock your friend has to kiss me," Mikey said stopping you from laughing. You watched as she agreed and he did the flip. Watching him get the kisses from another girl hurt you, tears stained your eyes but you refused to let them fall or to let anyone see you were on the verge of crying. You slowly backed away crashing into to Gavin. "Oh sorry y/n Hey are you okay?" He asked seeing you had teary eyes. "Yeah I just need to go to the restroom," You said blinking back the tears, and making your way to the furthest restroom. You found a bench in a secluded area and let the tears fall silently, after crying you composed yourself wiping the tears away. Your phone chimed making you jump, you saw an incoming call from mikey. You rejected the call, setting your phone down and enjoying the view of seaside. Your phone chimed again signaling you had another incoming call, growing tired of it you silenced your phone. Taking photos your phone kept buzzing in your hoodie. Finally you checked it and you had missed calls from Jake, Ademir and Mikey as well as tyler and Gavin. 12:02 am Mikey: Y/N PICK UP THE PHONE! Mikey: THIS IS NOT FUNNY Y/N PICK UP THE PHONE WHERE ARE YOU?!! 12:30 am Mikey: IM TRACKING YOUR FUCKING PHONE THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Mikey: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU Y/N IM NOT PLAYING ANYMORE THIS ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE. 1:00 AM Jake: Okay Y/N this isn't funny anymore we are bugging out where are you!? Jake: Y/N THIS ISNT FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE QUIT FUCKING PLAYING WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!!! Ademir: Y/N PLEASE DUDE THIS ISNT FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE MANFS IS FUCKING PIST THAT WE CANT FIND YOU JAKE IS SCEEVING RIGHT NOW WE ARE GOING TO THE COPS WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!? Gavin: Yo Y/N where are you?! Are you okay?! Please Y/N everyone is freaking out! Your eyes popped out of your head realizing it was 2:30 am, you had left at 11:45 pm. By this time no one was at seaside anymore, you walked back to where the dock was and saw no one there. There no shops open so you couldn't ask anyone if they had seen any of the guys. Walking further down the boardwalk it was creepy because it was a complete ghost town with no one in sight. You finally saw a police officer and approached him. "Excuse me officer by any chance have you seen a group of guys around here. I hade gotten separated from my group and I cant find them," Your said and he took out his notepad from his front pocket. "What's your name ma'am?" He asked "Its Y/F/L/N," You said and he nodded. "Honey they were looking for you," He said and your eyes widened. "104 we found we are located by the dock," He said into his walkie. "You friends seemed very Concerned about you," He said and you sighed. "Yeah I got separated and lost track of time," You explained. "Their your friends I'm sure they will understand," He explained His partner walked up with Jake, Ademir, Mikey, Gavin, Joe, Gavin. Your heart raised at the sight of them, When they looked up at you their faces flashed a mixture of emotion mostly anger. The officers got in their squad car and left. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?! WE SPENT HOURS LOOKING FOR YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK WE WERE! WE THOUGHT SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU!" Mikey Yelled he was fuming. "Yo mikey chill," Jake said "Mikey you need to calm down," Ademir said trying to defuse the situation. "NO IM NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN HOW AM I GOING TO CALM DOWN! SHE FUCKING LEFT WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHERE SHE WAS GOING TO BE! SHE LEFT FOR HOURS AND WOULDNT ANSWER OUR FUCKING OR TEXT MESSAGES WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!" He yelled getting in your face, it scared you because you have never seen mikey this mad before. "MIKE." Jake yelled firmly. "No Jake it's okay. I'm sorry I had you guys worried, I'm sorry I put that burden on all of you. I didn't mean to worry any of you. I simply had to use the restroom and I lost track of time because I was out taking photos of the view. I had my phone on silent which is why I couldn't hear any of your calls or texts. Now if you will excuse me I think I am done for the day. Good luck at Clinton road," You said walking away from the,. "Where the fuck are you going!" Mikey yelled "Home! Where else would I be going!" You yelled and kept walking. "Your not going to fucking walk home!" Mikey yelled, everyone had just stepped back and watched everything unfold. "Watch me bitch!" You yelled and continued walking. You heard footsteps behind you and you felt someone pull you back. "Get in the fucking car I'll take you home," Mikey gritted through his teeth. "No I'm not getting in the car with you. I'll just order an uber," You said taking out your phone. "Nobody Ubers in our fucking you dumbass," Mikey said taking away your phone. "Give me my fucking Phone mike!" You yelled but he wouldn't budge. "You know what whatever fucking keep it I'm out of here," You said walking away into the night. You hadn't been walking very long before a car pulled up beside you and rolled it's window down. "Fuck off shithead," You stated and continued walking. "Y/N Get in the car please," Jake said this time and you shook your head. "IF YOU DONT GET IN THE FUCKING CAR Y/N OR SO HE-" Mikey yelled but you cut him off. "OR WHAT MIKEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO HUH!" You yelled, You heard a car door slam and Mikey appeared in front of you. All of a sudden you were thrown over Mikey's shoulder. "MIKEY LET ME FUCKING GO RIGHT NOW!" You yelled pounding on his back. "HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME IM BEING KIDNAPPED HELP!" You yelled "Y/N SHUT THE FUCK!" Ademir said trying to get you to stay quiet. "Make sure she doesn't get out," Mikey said getting in the driver seat. He child locked which resulted in you failing your escape. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU HUH!" Mikey yelled "Just take me home please," You whispered facing the window, Realizing how he was acting Mikey's voice softened. "Y/N I-" You cut him off before he could finish. "Mikey I don't want to hear it please just take me home," You said he sighed loudly and drove down the road leading to your house. Once they got to you house you quickly unbuckled you seatbelt and tried to get out but you forgot the car door was on child lock. Rolling down the window you quickly opened the car door before anyone could say anything and practically jumped out. "Y/N Y/N Stop please!" Mikey said following you up the drive way. "Mikey just please leave me alone. Go film your 3 AM challenge," You said you arm pointing in the direction of the car. You fished for your keys in your bag. "Look I didn't mean to blow up on you," He said and you scoffed puling out your keys. "Really because it didn't seem like it," You said unlocking your door. "Y/N I'm sorry okay I just-when we couldn't find you I thought the worst. What if you were hurt or what if someone did something to you. We aren't exactly on good terms with Jesse and I wouldn't be surprised if he did something to you to get to me," Mikey said and you furrowed your eyebrows. "Why would he do that and why would it affect you," You said "Because you drive me crazy! everything you do drives me crazy! your laugh your smile the way you get on me with your big y/e/c eyes. The way your vein pops out of your forehead when your ma- Fuck it!" He said grabbing your face and crashed his lips against yours. "I GIVE NO FUCKS!" Ademir yelled making you both laugh and break the kiss. "Ademir you idiot you ruined the moment!" Jake said recording the whole thing. "This is going on my channel," Jake said "Don't got to seaside at 3AM," Gavin added "So what do you have to tell the locals?" Jake said running up on the both of you stuffing the camera in your face. "Send cheeks," You said "Ayy snap code will be on the screen send to Ademir and I not to Mikey because he has a girl now," He said making you shake your head. "Well it wasn't a scary 3am challenge but it was still scary watching you guys argue," Gavin said, You saw the sun coming up and you checking your phone. "Okay it's 5:30am go home so I can get some rest," You said shooing everyone away. Before getting in your house Mikey pulled you towards him and gave one last kiss. You heard wolf whistles in the back making you shake your head. "Knock it off Shit heads," You yelled before going inside and falling asleep on the couch. _____________________________________________________________________ Here it is guys my first Mikey imagine I hope you guys enjoy remember requests are always open! thank you for taking time in reading them I love you guys! remember "I GIVE NO FUCKS" ~Crystal 💙

[kookiebluey]

Wlog for the BTS London concert on the 10th💓

Just so I don't forget, I’d like to write down how I felt b4, during and after the BTS concert on the 10th💜

 I remember it wasn't a chill day at all, and I went to tutorials and lectures in the first half of the day. Can't say that I'm extremely excited cuz I was never really hyped for anything. It's not because I didn't like BTS enough, it's the fear of expecting too much and end up getting disappointed somehow. Well, I guess I was wrong and I could have looked forward to it even more xd

 I went back home after the computational lecture ended, then packed up my stuff (which was partly packed the nite b4) as quickly as I could. When I thought everything was settled, I realised that my parcel has arrived and I haven't printed my ticket yet. Everything was done in a hurry, and I left home at 2:05 for a 2:15 train.

 On the train, I was still kinda calm and had a look thru my notes from class. Then I spent the rest of the time sleeping and imaging how would I feel when I actually meet them at the concert. Would it feel like how it was in my dream? Or would it be something completely different?

 I arrived at London and google mapped how should I get to O2 arena cuz hahah I had no idea. Everything went by smoothly and I even managed to follow someone with a "jungkook 98" shirt when I sort of got lost hahaha.

 I took pictures of boards that were at the station and made a call to see where Joey is. Joey was already queuing. Lol up till this point, I kinda hoped that I've vlog-ed this. Its gonna be so much fun going back and rewatching everything. Anyways, Joey introduced me to her friends and we went on talking about what we could do inside. She prepared everything for me - like the lightstick, batteries, telling me they wouldn't really go thru my stuff hence its ok if I had a lot of stuff with me lolz

 We finally got in and we went up to get some drinks (which I didn't). I said bye to Joey (cuz we sit in different areas) and went to the toilet to change into a black T-shirt I got from Korea (haha I know its an unnecessary fact).

 Then, finally, I entered the arena and managed to find my seat. Sadly, on my seat, there's this girl that wanted to sit with her fd and would trade for a seat that's much further away from the stage (honestly wtf). I insisted that I'd like to keep my seat and eventually she gave in.

 I then had conversations with her fd (ie the person next to me now) and she went on about how she coped with their concert yesterday at the pit. She seemed to be a really old fan and had went to a lot of the functions in the past. I don't entirely agree but I said nothing hahah (I mean whats the point in arguing - its not like Im gonna see her after this).

 The fans were really hyped and they sang fanchants in every MV that came up at the arena. Love to see how the staffs' expressions are hahah - they'd be like wtf BTS is not even here what are u guys on about? Hahah bro I feel u I felt the exact same thing xd

 Finally it hit 8pm and the concert is about to start. They came out after a series of promo vids and after a marvellous stage arrangement. It was really hyped and it really lits up your mood. Just imagine someone really calm like me (ie calm during clubbings and all) getting really hyped and stuff hahah~

 I was really worried that I could bearly see Jungkook cuz he got injured and might stay at the main stage. BUTTT he actually brought his chair to the extended stage and sat at my side of the stage!!! Don't get me wrong, but I might have saw him better just cuz he was sitting the whole time xd

 It's that feeling when something that's on ur screen, on your wall or even in ur dreams (but is somehow non existing in ur life) suddenly was in front of you. I guess I was just 20 steps away from them if there were a platform from my seat to the extended stage. It was so close and you could see their facial expression so clearly. Even tho I couldn't make a heart or anything (cuz its embarrassing), or even get eye contacts, its still like a dream come true.

 I could see their little interactions right in front of my eyes, and hear their voices live. All of the members did a magnificent job and I honestly fell in love with every one of their performances. If I did said anything about having a bias and all, its really nothing like that anymore. I like every member and they are all so good looking (omg Jin is sosososososososo handsome I cannot).

 Standing for a total of 2 hours but it felt like 15 mins. Every song sounded so much more better live, and seeing them dancing so so close to you. It's a moment when you feel they are actual human beings - not cartoon, not animations.

 Jimin's performance actually did hit me - he was so attractive omg!! He also so cute when he looked around to try to interact with any fans that tries to catch his attention!

Jhope, Suga and Rapmon's performances were so lit!! Even tho they were never my favourite, they look so much more better in person!

Jungkook got injuried, so he sat down on a chair the whole time. But his voice was so angelic - and hahah I caught that moment when he forgot to sing a line - cuteeee. His interaction with his hyungs were also adorable - I love how they involved him even tho he couldn't dance, and he also tried to join in the dance even on the chair xdd - the thing is, he is a little conserved and he do not have actual interaction with any of the fans - but that's him and it isn't necessarily a good or bad thing. (btw JK look exactly like in photos and videos and thank god he decided to sit at my side of the stage on the day of my concert)

Jin, as what I've said, is so attractive omg!! He is THE VISUAL - no doubt  - he is stunning in person!!

V has his own charm as usual. He also looks exactly the same in phots and vids - and I caught the cute moment when he smiled at JK and start dancing his part hahah he also got "shot" by a fan's heart (I believe) and pretended that he got shot on stage - hahahah so freakin cute

 They all had really natural expressions during performances - and you couldn't imagine how could a person look so good in any angle and at any moment - its almost like calculated moves - and they are photogenic at every point of their performances -

What I had to do is to pick out moments that my camera didn't went out of focus or pointing at a wrong angle - they look fab in every single moment - no joke

 Ok so the conclusion is I was totally enjoying every moment and did not felt bored at any point of the concert - like not even slightly

I only wish time went by slower cuz I couldn't grasp all the moments that I'd like to record on my phone or to be aware of

 So I could tell Jungkook was a bit depressed in general but at least he didn't cry like how he did in the last concert - I really feel bad for him and thank god he didn't perform - I have a feeling I'm gonna be even more depressed cuz I'll miss his performance the most hahah

 Anyways then the concert ended and I asked every possible person to send me their vids. But honestly the ending was so sad. I actually felt like crying, but I didn't cuz I stopped myself from anticipating the concert too much in the first place, and therefore the contrast wasn't as great.

 Joey was really really depressed and I totally get it. Never thought you'd feel so at lost after you went to a concert you love. Its that feeling that "yeah they're right in front of you but now we had to take that back". Its really hopeless and you suddenly realised they are really superstars.

Its not like I wasn't aware of that fact that they are actual stars, but this reality hit you really hard when youre in a concert. There were so many armys and they wouldn't even know that you've existed. Its sad that they were so close and now you've understood that they are not your fds (even tho they seem like it in vids) but actual stars that are so out of reach. The contrast of being so hyped then falling back down to the bottom of the valley (hhaha its so different to the feeling of riding a roller coaster when going down is the best part).

 I love you BTS❤ even tho you'd never know our existence. They are truly remarkable and loved by so many.

 So moving on from this sad topic (XD), I met joey on the next day and convinced her to take a pic of me at an enormous wall with a print of BTS poster. I was kinda shy and couldn't really take a good pic until after a couple shots. We then had flat iron and it was a great restaurant - would really want to go again! We then attempt to take pretentious shots (which joey succeeded, and I hahah obviously failed) and had desserts. We then left to catch the train - but Joey lost her Oyster card:( She said something weird would always happen when shes with me ahahha I wonder why xd

 Yah so this was my marvellous bday gift - cant explain everything in short sentences, but I was so submerged into bts music right after the concert. You could literally think of nothing, do nothing, but listen to their music and rewatch the videos. I really want to keep the solid memory of the experience I've had at the concert - and pls don't forget it!!

 PS I really owe joey a lot cuz she persuaded and helped me to get the ticket. She got a JK fan for me, knowing I'll regret for sure! She knew me too well and at some point in life we do have to live like a teenager when we are teenagers rt? xd

Add-on: OMG so V went to flat iron too - honestly, how could they just walk into a restaurant w/o getting a room or anything, literally, just a table in which anyone could have sat on and anyone could have bumped into them. Sadly he didn’t go to the restaurant I went nor the time I went (I believe) but still happy cuz we had the same food ahahaha

[travelinghermit]

April 1

Birthdays are always a bit off when your on the road travelling. They always sneak up right behind you when you least expect or plan on it to. For the last week or two I had eyed this date and wondered where id be and what I could possibly do to spend the time. Two years ago my erratic schedule some how lined up perfectly with my annual and I ended up spending the day riding camels and sleeping in the Thar desert in East India by the Pakistani border. Now THATS how you do a birthday. Im not one for partying and going out, I want to do something that Ive never done before and add to my list of unbelievable one time only experiences then recall oh thats what I was doing the day I turned 21. This go around my day to day is as crazy as it has ever been and I cant plan a week ahead let alone day by day.

So im in Quito which is a cool city on its own right but break it all down and its just another city. Luckily I am in the second highest capital city in the world (9350 ft above sea level) so theres mountains all around me. I woke up nice and early and like I thought it would it was raining but nothing heavy. My plan was to take the Aeiralway which is like a small gandala up Rucu Pichincha a dormant volcano that can be seen from the city and has amazing views. Even though it was drizzling I had nothing better to do and I really craved some hiking. I left my motorbike behind and took a taxi to the Aeiralway station, paid $8.50 for the ascent/descent from the mountain and in ten minutes was looking down at Quito.

The sky was clearing with slivers of blue and the mountain was bare of any people except some kids who were on some sort of school trip I think. So I started my hike and was feeling good I was alone but I had the entire trail to myself I was singing and dancing along with my music not a care in the world. I got a bit emotional as I was treking thinking all that it took to get to this day and looking up at the mountain made me realise how deep into this journey I am. Both literally and philosophically. As in I am not at the starting point anymore its not a pipe dream this is a reality and I really do treat this situation with the most seriousness. Im Sir Francis Drake on my own kinda journey. Im sure all the years at sea were his most content years but I can also tell you that he treated his journey with the most dire respect and seriousness. He didnt take any uncalculated risks and thats what it takes for a successfull expedition to get you and your men back home safely.I have my own rules of engagement that will see me get out of this in one piece and accomplish everything I desire if I so follow them and I think this set of rules would aid any would be adventuerer and explorer if they so choose to go on a real journey. But what I never could have predicted when I started this was the discipline required and the weight of challenges along the way. Even this degree of solitude is a different beast. But I love every second of it. I wondered wheres the adventure in todays world over run by tourism? Every experience is now handed to you with neat wrapping and a bow on top. Take your photo, throw it on social media for all to see, and there you go you had yourself a real experience. Its not real unless other people see.

I predict this journey to the end of the world is going to change everything. And I really felt that yesterday. I see birthdays more as my New Year than January 1 which is really just another day. My two take aways from the Yagé ceremonies in Mocoa last week were “Excel at the mundane” and “Strip away the unessential”. Over all I am happy with what im doing and how this journey is playing out but these two things are the micro tweaks that will cause big ramifications for not just this journey but my entire life if done well. Im trying to eat better, im trying to push myself more like after riding all day to a new city all I want to do is lay on my hotel bed and rest and watch videos but I gotta push myself to get outside and explore more. Go deeper. I got to go deeper.

I capped off my birthday with a $34.00 T-Bone steak, salad, and chocolate cake at a fancy restaurant. I never eat at fancy restaurants but im glad I went because it was delicious and a real treat. Also with the national elections theres a liquor ban throughout the city possibly the country for the weekend. So I was nervous that I wouldnt be able to have a birthday drink luckily I found a restaurant that served me.

Lastly with all my hiking and walking yesterday I kind of sabotaged todays plan of checking out the elections. I walked all the way down to the Consejo Nacional Elecorial that the police have blockaded 360 degrees around this morning but nothing was going on except bored looking police in riot gear. My feet were absolutley killing me. I got blisters on my feet now. So I have no choice really other than rest.

Tomorrow I ride on.