#i literally can't see the keyboard anymore

[lia404]

I'll give you Yusaku for "Send me a Yugioh character" owo

AH. Ahaha. Oh my god, okay. So for context, your ask landed in my inbox exactly when I was struggling with formatting my "Yusaku birthday post." Which means it caught me at a point when I had even MORE feelings than I usually do for this boy. I apologise in advance: the answer about Kaiba may have been a wall of text, but I'm afraid this one will become a full skyscraper of text. So go grab some tea, coffee, biscuits, whatever makes you feel good for a break, then sit back and relax while I scream at you about how much I CARE for Yusaku Fujiki.

(Whatever happens remember that you asked for it.) (Thank you so much for this, too, even if I've spent a good part of my afternoon and all my evening and part of my night on it.) (By the way at this point I really won't feel insulted if no one reads it to the end, I think I mostly need to get it all out of my system.)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD, in the form of headcanons and personal analyses of Yusaku's character and his relationships, along with multiple screenshots, gif, videos, all hidden behind the excuse of an ask meme (so it's still superficial in many parts, but I feel like it's a good overview.) I'm putting it all behind a cut since I know how to use them now. (Or do I? It's the 4th time I edit to put the cut back to the place it's meant to be at.)

----------- Also, keeping track so I stop getting lost in my own blog: The original Ask meme Seto Kaiba Spectre Aoi Zaizen I still answer for other characters so long as they're from DM or Vrains!

Why I like him/why I don’t

I think it's Yusaku's resilience that I like the most. He can be no-nonsense and harsh, but he's always honest, and he always stands up. It's striking, actually, how he always manages to keep standing.

He's thrown to the ground by life, by his enemies (interestingly, many declare they are his enemies when he's not even TRYING to alienate them, and just doesn't really care.) Even his allies are the reason why he ends up beaten up sometimes. And yet, he always get back up. It's very rare to see him fully crash, which makes it even more impactful when he does.

I'm just fascinated at how even at his lowest, at the biggest blows he receives, he stands up. His strive for life is remarkable, so much so that it sometimes almost feels like a curse. Just the same way he keeps winning and winning, because he's good, of course, but also because losing is not an option. He has to stand up and he keeps doing it for himself, for others, and still manages to feel guilty for not doing enough.

(I'm afraid you'll have to do with my French subtitles, I am NOT trying to find other streams just to make screencaps, these ones were hard enough to find.)

"Sorry, Kusanagi, your brother Jin has been taken and Lightning is menacing humanity and all of this is because I'm not strong enough."

Yusaku, FFS.

This is all heavily linked to the other aspect of his character I love most: Yusaku is so human. He's filled with hope. In one of the episodes of season 3, Revolver tells him to "stop thinking with his naive optimism".

And Playmaker clearly doesn't like it, look at this face.

But he still holds onto it until the end. He's not giving up until he's forced to (and even when it's done, he takes off and tries to find solutions.)

And Yusaku cares, he cares so much. He may seem heinous and gratuitously savage with the way he shuns Shima or Ai, but you have to go beyond the words. When Shima is captured, he literally runs to his rescue, barely waiting for the van to stop before he jumps out of it to check on his classmate. Shima and other people around, no matter how annoying, will also give occasional encouragements (often hidden behind a layer of backhanded compliments, because that's how Yusaku rolls.)

Yusaku makes sure that people around him are feeling alright. He comforts them. He may not use the nicest words, he has the sensitivity of an elephant let loose in a fine china shop, but his words usually strike right where they should. He helps. He gives a lot of himself for this, apparently not caring what other people think of it.

Goddamnit, Yusaku. Why are you trying to make me cry.

And this, actually, paradoxically, might be the only thing I dislike for him. It's not even about HIM per se (he may not be perfect but I am able to admit I'm too biased to not have a hard time finding him any flaws.) It's the way he gives so much of himself for everyone leads not only to people relying on him a lot, they also tend to take him for granted. And it pisses me off. Yusaku doesn't really fight against it, which, understandable considering his character, his backstory, everything. But sometimes I wish he could stop being the hero of Link VRAINS, because he's spreading himself too thin, and he had to break at some point. Or multiple times.

What I like about his appearance

I am trying SO hard to stop myself from waxing all kinds of poetics on him, so for this once I'll go with the most obvious: his EYES.

(Yes this was all a shameless excuse to flood you with close-ups of Yusaku and Playmaker's beautiful, vibrant eyes.)

The colour is striking, of course, especially in contrast with his or Playmaker's hair. But also, for someone meant to be aloof and stoic, Yusaku's eyes are hella expressive. His eyebrows only emphasise it, and actually, this is another trait I really like: Playmaker's eyebrows are orange. Playmaker is a real red-head! It makes me irrationally happy. It's the little details, folks, and Yusaku definitely pays more attention to them than most would expect.

And the second aspect of his appearance I just can't omiss...

...Well, that's his smile, of course! If only he had reasons to smile more often. Look at him; no matter how terrible the situation, he manages to smile.

This one is from when he says goodbye to Kusanagi before the final duel agains Ai. It's honestly quite tragic, but here he is. Smiling. Why is no one in this series protecting this smile. What are they all DOING.

Anyway, I've been writing for way too long already and I still have TOO MUCH to say so that's it for the appearance. He's adorable, he's beautiful, he's gorgeous.

Do I prefer his dub names or original names?

You'd think the question is not relevant since his name is the same in both, BUT. There's actually a massive difference. I can't take the dub version's stressed Yu'SAku seriously when in Japanese it's very clearly 'YUUsaku. Also, watching parts of the dub has been very amusing once I accepted that it was a parody, but there's not much to keep. Not even the pronunciation of a name. So I'm going with original, no hesitation.

OTP

Okay, another obvious one. If you've been following me you have noticed the ridiculous amount of Datastormshipping I put in your feed.

Evil smile besties ftw.

And YET.

It's so hard to ship them seriously. There's so much to repair. I can't see them all lovey-dovey, they have to work for it, and work HARD. Because Playmaker is just... so completely defanged when he's in front of Revolver. And Revolver, while actually acting in the shadow to support Playmaker so many times in the course of 120 episodes, never spares him a kind word, a nice face, except when he thinks he's dying.

I suspect he's not doing it consciously, but the way Revolver behaves makes me feel like he takes Playmaker for granted. It makes sense, considering their backstory: Revolver has obsessed over Playmaker and endangered people he cared about because of it. He has also proved multiple times that he is very intent to shoulder the full blame for an incident he had not much to do about, so he'd rather keep Playmaker and his "stupid faith in him" at a distance. But Revolver is also Playmaker's saviour, which makes it so Playmaker trusts him and can follow him blindly no matter what.

Eloquent: everyone is wary to follow, but Playmaker is first in line, not a hint of hesitation in spite of having no idea of what lies behind the portal.

For this reason, I'm actually happy with the Revolver event in Duel Links, in spite of all its writing flaws.

In the event, Playmaker feels Revolver with his Link Sense even before he arrives, which shows that he's still VERY attuned to Revolver. And in spite of this clear bond, Playmaker really stands against Revolver and asserts his beliefs with no room for negociation, something he hasn't done since the Tower of Hanoi (...and even then, arguably, he was trying to negociate.) He is not yielding no matter how important Revolver might be for him. And, at the end of the event, Revolver seems to be relieved to have met such resistance. He even sounds sort of supportive? It's open to interpretation, but my feeling was that he actually approved of Playmaker's doing and encouraged him. The Ghost Gal and Spectre events that followed emphasised it for me. They're clearly not fighting anymore, but they also don't have this weird blind spot for each other anymore.

With this approach, I feel like they'd have better roots for a relationship that would not lean towards codependence or other unhealthy bases.

Don't get me wrong, I adore the fluff, and Datastormshipping really is the obvious end goal for me, but for this ship what I love most is them having to work for it. Because even if they clearly trust each other, Yusaku will have to learn to NOT give all of himself blindly, and Ryoken will need to learn to actively LISTEN to Yusaku, and even make him speak.

(As a quick parenthesis, because I'll get back to this topic later and I'd rather not leave any ambiguity: as much as I resent him for his treatment of Yusaku, I absolutely adore Revolver, in this terrible love/hate dynamic that makes me hate to love him and love to hate him. In spite of everything, or maybe DUE to all of this, I really like his character. I'm not sure I'll ever write deep meta about him, though, because he's already had a lot written about him and I doubt I have much more to bring to discussions that happened years ago. But who know what time will bring? Anyway, Datastormshipping FTW.)

NOTP

BEWARE: unpopular opinion ahead. I actually can't see Aiballshipping.

Again, don't get me wrong: I see where the shippers come from, and I really don't hate the ship! I've read multiple doujin and fanfictions, I enjoy the content, I enjoy the art, I love the analyses of the ship... But I can't see it, because for me, it goes beyond a romantic relationship. Ai is literally a part of Yusaku. Him and Yusaku are a package, in a way: if someone wants to be with Yusaku, they'll also have to be with Ai. If someone says Yusaku "It's Ai or me", they'd better not expect to be chosen. I understand Aiballshipping. I like reading takes on it, I like reading stories about it. But to me, what Ai and Yusaku have is not romantic. It's something obvious, a given, almost fusional. They don't kiss; they can communicate without saying a word. (Even if they spend their time throwing jabs at each other out loud.) Any other romantic relationship will come in addition to it, without being replaced by it. So I don't "ship" it. It's very much not an OTP. I have no idea which verb I could use for it, though, because I'm not really sure it can be considered queerplatonic either.

OT3

Di-sas-ter-ship-ping! It's actually my main ship, even if there's not a lot of content. Sure, if we want to make it work in a nice healthy way, it's going to be quite the challenge. BUT not everything has to be serious and reasonable or even believable (I have datastormshipping for this) and seriously, the dynamic between these three has so much potential for wholesomeness, stupid arguments and general chaos. It's called disastershipping for a reason. (Not only this, I know, but still.)

Look at them, their smug poses and their stupidly form-fitting costumes. What could go wrong, right? <3

Favourite card he uses

Contrary to my answer re: Kaiba's deck, this time I am familiar with Playmaker's deck, because I play it AND I actually watched his duels multiple times to understand how he uses it. The fact is that even if there's the usual "I magically draw the exact card I need and use if without even looking at it" effect that is characteristic to Yu-Gi-Oh animes, his deck is solid and it really allows different kind of combos to always find workaround. (Doesn't mean I don't brick often, but not everyone can be Playmaker.)

So I actually have TWO favourite cards. The first one is my little love, usually one of the first to join the field: Backup Secretary.

She's beauty, she's grace, she's always here to help me link summon my ace. She's easy to use. She may not be the best one, but I'm so happy to have her in my deck—three times. I have multiple other cards that allow me to bring her in my hand. She never stays long on the field, since her specialty is to help summoning various types of Code Talkers, but she's a life saver. And seriously her design is awesome.

And the second one is, in my amateur point of view (I need to write the disclaimer that while I'm not BAD at duelling, I'm not exactly GOOD either and I miss a lot, lot, lot of subtleties) one of the best cards in Playmaker's deck: Recoded Alive.

This card is a lifesaver. It has multiple effects for different situations. It helps me avoid having an empty field when my opponent's field is filled with monsters. It's a trap, and allows me to switch monsters when attacked if I use it during the opponent's turn. It allows me to bring another monster to the field and have another attacking monster if I play it during my own battle phase.

And even if we want to remain focused on Playmaker's storyline, it's one of the most important ones Yusaku plays in the anime. It's always here for him since the beginning, and it has allowed him to bring back so many monsters. I mean, it basically wins him a duel against Revolver. It saves him against Ai. It's just... I love this card. It took me forever to understand how it works, but now it's hard to imagine a Playmaker deck without it.

Favourite moment(s) he was in

And here I thought I had already written enough. Well, we're here for a few more hours. I hope your tea has not gone cold.

I dare hope that you KNEW you shouldn't expect me to choose only ONE moment. There are so many. I can't satisfy myself with only one, I must bring up a few more, but not too many because this post is overwhelming enough as it is.

1. Season 1, when Playmaker goes against Akira to recover files in SOL's massive datbase. I can't begin to express how angry I was with the way Akira treats Yusaku. I know it was done in good faith, but having Akira tell Yusaku "go have a normal life, go out with your friends, enjoy your life as a teenager and prepare for your future, it's important" is just horribly condescending. It's SO satisfying to see Playmaker put the Zaizen, who always seem to think they know what he feels, or what is best for him, in their place. There's something incredibly satisfying in having Yusaku say "It is MY story and it is MINE to tell".

"I don't want the story of my past to be told by someone else."

Having Playmaker defend his story like this, and not let others take it or misinterpret it (especially when they feel like they "understand"), is, to me, a very powerful moment. And as if this wasn't enough, Yusaku adds a power move to it, adding a step in his final turn that he didn't have to do to win the duel: returning the two Tindangle cards representing Akira and Aoi to the hand rather than winning by leaving them both in the graveyard. When confronted about it, he answers that he doesn't want the siblings to be in the darkness of the graveyard, that his revenge should not implicate them and that they should walk towards the light. It is incredibly heartful, AND an amazing way to show Zaizen that he will never manage to "understand" Yusaku considering the mindset he keeps displaying. That was so badass, seriously. I wish the Zaizen had learnt more from it.

2. Season 2, after the duel against Kusanagi. Playmaker won and collapsed, not waking up. The second moment I like most is there, in Yusaku's head. It's intimidating... and slightly tragic.

"I have done enough. I'm tired."

Oh. It's been building up for so many episodes, they've been straining him so much, and finally, it happens. The quietest mental breakdown, the hint of depression. It makes him so human, so relatable suddenly, and yet it's so painful. I love this moment because it really brought me back to who he is: a 16 year old kid with a trauma bigger than himself and the expectations of a whole city (world?) on his shoulders. I'm glad he gets up again, but I'm also really glad that we get to see this part of him, so tragically realistic. Now let's wrap him in a blanket and hug him, okay?

3. Season 3: The "last nice moments in the real world". I wish we had had more of those in the whole course of the series, there was SO MUCH potential for it! Look at them being teenagers. Yusaku, so happy, confident and carefree as he is working for Kusanagi (and this apron makes him look so cute.) Yusaku, being pestered by Shima who wants to know where Playmaker is (WHY would Yusaku know? Shima has weird leaps of logic.) And Aoi and Yusaku having the most AWKWARD handshake, that instantly relieved me from the fear that Aoi might be a love interest.

"This is what high schoolers do I guess. Okay, we tried, we're done, completely uninteresting, let's move on now. When's our next trauma-session already?"

That's three moments I love, but I can't resist adding a last Painful Bonus: another moment of "let's make Playmaker suffer". I'm so sorry, Yusaku.

4. Season 3: Roboppi's death; the flashback to a younger Yusaku who has just built his cleaning robot and is SO proud, so happy and welcoming, and then Playmaker, broken, begging Soulburner to strike one last time and finish Roboppi.

I feel like his eyes, at that moment, are another reminder of his age. It's one of the most terrible scenes of the whole anime (I'd say ex-aequo with Ai's final words), it's masterfully executed, the pacing is amazing, the work on the expressions is amazing, the voice acting is incredible. But really, these eyes.

Least favourite moment

Two moments come to mind, and both are in the third season. You'll see there's a recurring theme, and more importantly, the fact that I really don't like these moments barely comes from Yusaku's role in them. Even if his personality encourages it.

1. The scene at the pier. It's REALLY, REALLY not Yusaku's fault, but he's still one of the two major protagonists so it counts as a "least favourite moment." Yusaku is going for the final fight, and Ryoken catches him, sends him and almost kills him with the card that will help him win the duel against Ai. I know this scene is considered one of the cornerstones of Datastormshipping, but all I can see is... Yusaku getting rejected, again, after saying goodbye to Kusanagi with a brave and grateful smile on his face, and just before having to destroy someone that is essentially a part of him. He calls Ryoken's name, and Ryoken keeps the most distance possible. I think it may have been one of the worst things Ryoken could have done, and even the fact that the Borrel dragon is actually a symbol of how much Ryoken believes in Yusaku,.. well, it would still be not enough to recover from the blatant, cold rejection Yusaku received at that moment. Ryoken, I know you couldn't find it in you to encourage him, but you only had to say his first name. Acknowledge him more than by coldly stating his complete name. And maybe NOT use the word "farewell" this time, because twice in the few first minutes of an episode is way too much. GOD FORBID Yusaku has any sort of support from Ryoken, that would encourage him to feel like they have a bond, the horreur. (Ugh.) With Playmaker knowing that Takeru would leave, Aoi would have Miyu, Kusanagi would have his brother, having Ryoken just... coldly ignoring all tentative of closeness, and leaving without looking back, WELL. It's no wonder Yusaku disappeared solo at the end. From his perspective, he had no one left.

2. Mission begin: everyone is ready to try and stop Ai, the plan is set and Playmaker is not part of any team since he's not even here. Except...

"We can't begin without Playmaker."

It annoys me so much, because the thing is, yes, yes you really can begin without Playmaker. And you should, Heaven's sake!

Many characters at this point have told him that they would understand if he didn't want to take part in this fight, that they would shoulder some of his burden and that he could rest and stay away for his health and sanity.

The thing is, Yusaku is not this kind of person. He will take responsbility and let no one else do the job in his stead. And he comes back, in a rather flashy way, EXACTLY when they're all expecting him. And barely anyone is surprised, they all look so relieved. They were waiting for this.

This moment leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth, because here is the problem with Playmaker: he's so good and reliable that people just... lean on him and wait for him to do the hard work. No matter how traumatising. I took screenshots of the many, many times people said "I leave it into your hands, Playmaker". "I know you"ll complete the job well, Playmaker." "I'm counting on you, Playmaker." I am not putting all of them here, but I have an album of these.

In doing so, they only enable his rather destructive hero-complex.

Destructive because, consider: he had a huge trauma when he was a kid and never fully recovered. When he finally learns and fights the truth behind this trauma, he feels like his revenge is over, but the person he'd spent years and years looking for is gone after treating him quite awfully. Additionally, he releases his new "hostage/friend" and goes back to being alone. He's been a hero, and all he got was: being alone again. Come Takeru, and somehow he acquires a sort of social circle. He's not really good at it, but it exists, and he even looks quite comfortable with it, if a bit awkward. Then he's forced to watch, powerless, as all his newfound friends/trusted persons get erased one after another, all of them with parting words expressing how much they trusted him to fix this. Way to make him feel like it's great to have friends and allies, uh. Then the humans come back, but the Ignis are dead, and he feels like he has failed his self-imposed mission to find a way to coexist. Ai is gone, Ryoken sort of gloats (I understand it's probably not what he intended, but it still feels awfully like it.) He's been a hero, and all he got was: more trauma about losing people, more responsibilities he shouldn't have to shoulder, and likely no one who understands the pain he's in because the world is safe now.

And then Ai comes back and everything goes upside down, and Yusaku lives in denial all beginning of season 3.

That's what makes it a self-destructive complex, for me. Every time he plays hero, Yusaku exposes himself to the things that hurt him most. He's never rewarded. And yet, he keeps doing it, and giving people what they want from him/taking responsibility for things that should NEVER be considered his responsibility. It drives me crazy.

Note: I have a similar beef with the "epilogue", in which they all have something nice to say about Playmaker, and they're all so certain that he's amazing, that he'll be back... And yet. No one is looking. Not even Revolver, who should have it easy since he's working from the inside. Arguably, Kusanagi keeps the foodtruck parked in the same place so he has a home to go back to if he wishes

"He would be sad if he didn't have a place to come back to sometimes": I am convinced that Kusanagi is aware of how fragile the notion of "home" is for Yusaku.

So there's this at least. Arguably #2, I guess we could say they all know he doesn't want to communicate and they respect it. But the way they talk about him, it doesn't feel like its the case.

And this is why I keep saying that they don't deserve him; are they friends, or are they fans? Is any of them even really trying to do something for him, beyond "understanding his feelings" (Aoi, sigh), or rooting for him in the typical "Good old Playmaker, always knows what to do!" way (Takeru, sigh.)

Oh, Yusaku. The way they treat you upsets me so much. It's absolutely not what they're aiming for, but it's like they're encouraging you to develop new traumas instead of really helping you, and it makes me so angry.

So, yeah. I hate these moments, and these dynamics.

Would I fuck, marry or kill him

WHY IS THERE NO "ADOPT" OPTION. Well, the choice is quite easy by elimination. I would NOT kill him (in case you had not gathered already) I would very much NOT fuck him (I really doubt he'd be interested in it either, so that works well for both of us.) Soooo... marry, I guess? That would be hella awkward, but eh, if I can't adopt him, might as well use the option that would vaguely allow to, you know, protect and cherish. Even so, it's hard imagining Yusaku settling like this.

Aaaaand I'm done and off to bed, three hours later than planned. Honestly, kudos if you've read until here. Before I sign off, please receive the cutest gif of Yusaku to thank you for bearing with me for the past 2k+ words of crying over this incredible boy who deserves better.

You know, maybe my OTP is actually Yusaku/hotdog. They do deserve each other.

[hanniebaeee]

Code Love

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: nothing!!

Genre: colleagues to lovers, flufffff

Summary: Hyunjin is a brilliant post doc at the lab where you're perusing your PhD. He is such a sweet and sexy genius, and you are completely in love.

a/n : For all my science/research girlies 🤭

It was another late night at the lab. You were squinting at the test tubes in front of you trying to make sense of the results. But you were struggling to concentrate with the way your heart was pounding.

He was just sitting there, at his workstation, effortlessly spinning a pipette between his long, elegant fingers. Nothing for your dramatic heart to pound like that.

“Did you hear me, Y/N?” Hyunjin’s soft voice cut through your thoughts.

“Huh?” you blinked, attempting to act like you hadn’t just been imagining how those fingers would feel on your - never mind.

“I said,” Hyunjin grinned, “you’re incubating that reaction too long.”

“Oh, um, I knew that” you fumbled with the timer, cheeks heating up. “Totally knew that. Thanks, Hyunjin.”

“Sure, no problem,” he said, eyes sparkling like he enjoyed watching you unravel.

God, why was he like this?

That face? Those lips? And that brain? This was unfair. He had to have some flaw - how can a man be this perfect?

“Are you staying late tonight?” he asked casually, leaning back in his chair.

“I have to,” you mumbled. “This experiment is dragging on, and I have to submit the report by the end of the week.”

Hyunjin hummed, and said, “Oh good, I'll have some company then.”

You could literally see him doodling flowers into his book - he had nothing to do here. But yet every time you had to stay in late, he'd be hanging around too. Just the two of you.

Your brain immediately betrayed you, fueling your wild fantasy where he wasn’t staying late for work but because he secretly wanted to spend time alone with you. You were fighting so hard to maintain a shred of professionalism, but it was so hard when he was looking at you like that.

Hyunjin hummed softly under his breath as he continued to doodle, the sound sending tingles down your spine. Of course he was a good singer too. You just didn't understand what the universe even wanted from you anymore.

---

“I swear to God, Ji, if he twirls that pipette one more time, I’m going to launch myself across the lab bench, and just -” You were sprawled on the sofa in Jisung's apartment, sighing dramatically.

Jisung was your work bestie, working in the lab next door to yours. And he was the only one in the world who knew about your extreme devotion to Hyunjin.

Jisung burst out laughing, as he said, “This is bad, babe,”

“Bad? Jisung, I seriously can't even think when he's around.” you said. “Oh my God!!”

“Have you considered just telling him you like him?” Jisung smirked.

“Right, and ruin the perfectly good thing we have going where I pine silently while he ruins me with his brilliance? No, thank you.”

“You’re hopeless.”

---

The next late-night session happened way too soon, where Hyunjin wandered over to your bench, peering at your data from over your shoulder. He leaned in close, the scent of cologne (or whatever pheromones that he's sending your way) invading your senses - it's simply intoxicating.

“Want me to take a look at that?” he asked, “You've been spending way too much time on it.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, trying not to stutter. “It’s just...a lot of noise in the data.”

“Let me see,” he said, pulling a stool next to you. He reached for the keyboard, and your heart fluttered as his fingers brushed yours.

You wanted to cry. Please don't be so sweet and sexy at the same time, you begged internally. You cursed your body for betraying you with every glance while he explained what he was doing. You could feel the tension in your shoulders as you tried to focus on what he was saying.

Get a grip, Y/N, you reminded yourself. This is professional. Stop fantasizing about this ridiculously hot man who’s inexplicably obsessed with helping you.

When he finally looked up, you realized you’d been staring at him the whole time.

“What?” he asked, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“Nothing... thanks. You’re really good at this,” you stammered.

He tilted his head, studying you for a moment.

“You’re good at this too, Y/N. We all have our bad days. Don’t sell yourself short.” he said, patting your shoulder gently before standing up.

You felt your heart squeeze at the sincerity in his tone, and you watched as he went back to his own seat.

Stop it. He’s being nice. Don’t read into it. Just focus on the work.

But it was so hard not to read into it. The way he leaned closer when he spoke, the way his fingersa brushed against yours when he passed you something, and the way he was always so soft with you.

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

“Y/N, I’m begging you. BEGGING. Tell him. I'm sure he's dying to hear it.” Jisung said, smiling at the girl who handed over our coffees at the cafe.

“You don’t get it! I can't risk it, if he's just being nice, then -”

“Babe,” Jisung drawled, “what world do you live in?!”

“Don’t give me hope, Ji.” you sighed as you walked towards your lab, the early morning breeze cool against your skin.

“Hope? The man stays late every time you do, flirts with you nonstop, and compliments you after he does your work for you. At this point, I’m falling for him,” Jisung said, throwing his hands up. “Seriously, babe, if you don’t jump him soon, I might.”

---

The cold room was your least favorite part of the lab. You hated everything about it - the freezing temperature, its claustrophobic size and the damn protein extraction procedure that drained the life out of you.

But here you were, miserably clutching your samples and praying for the nightmare to end soon.

“Y/N?” Hyunjin’s voice echoed through the door as it opened, and you turned to see him stepping in.

Great. Now you were cold and flustered.

“How's the extraction going?” he asked, his tone light as he slipped on his gloves.

“Going wonderfully,” you muttered, shivering despite your layers.

He grinned, coming closer and watching you work.

“Do you want me to take over?” He asked, making you sigh.

“And miss out on the joy of freezing to death? Never,” you joked weakly, and Hyunjin laughed. “You're too nice, Hyunjin. But I've got this.”

“Nice?” he repeated, leaning back slightly but still watching you intently. “You sure about that?”

You froze, suddenly way too aware of how close he was standing. Was he teasing you? Was this flirting?

“I- I mean, yeah,” you stammered, breaking eye contact. “You’re always helping me...”

“Maybe I have my reasons.” Hyunjin tilted his head, his smile softening.

Your heart leapt into your throat as you asked, “Reasons?”

Before he could answer, the door swung open.

“How's your favorite experiment going?” Jisung's loud voice floated in. “Oh, hi Hyunjin!”

You didn't know if you wanted to strangle Jisung for ruining the moment or hug him for saving you from it.

Hyunjin, ever the sweetheart, just laughed and said, “Hi Jisung, I think she's doing just fine,”

“Of course she is,” Jisung said, moving aside for Hyunjin to step out.

“What was that?” He asked as soon as Hyunjin left.

“What are you doing here?!” you hissed. “We were getting somewhere, but also, if you hadn't come I would've fainted. Like I feel so dizzy, my gloves are all wet from sweating-”

“Y/N,” Jisung said, gripping your shoulders and shaking you lightly. “You like him. He obviously likes you. The universe is literally freezing you together in this cold room to force you to act. Next time, please -”

It was barely 5 am, and you groaned as you shuffled into the lab, your hair in a messy bun and sleep still stinging your eyes. But the bacterial cultures didn’t care about your sleep schedule - or lack thereof.

Throwing on your lab coat and gloves with the grace of a zombie, you started checking the growth plates with bleary eyes.

You’d barely managed to finish when Jisung strolled in, carrying two steaming cups of coffee.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” he teased, setting a cup in front of you.

“I love you, Ji,” you muttered, taking the first sip and feeling a spark of life return to your body. “I don't know why I wanted to be a scientist.”

Jisung plopped down next to you, snickering, and started scrolling through his phone while you leaned your head against his shoulder. And he rested his head against yours, before placing a quick peck on your temple.

You were starting to fall asleep, when the lab door creaked open.

You both glanced up to see Hyunjin walk in. His cheeks were pink from the cold and he stopped at the door for a second, his eyes fixed on you.

“Morning,” he greeted, and you gave him a small wave, still too sleepy to form words. Jisung returned the greeting, and then left quickly.

You noticed Hyunjin’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. That's new. He moved to his workstation, setting down his bag and pulling out his laptop.

You sat up straighter, something about Hyunjin’s silence gnawing at you. He didn’t even glance your way, which was unusual.

Hyunjin, meanwhile, was battling a whirlwind of emotions. He knew you and Jisung were close friends - you’d mentioned it so many times. But seeing the way your head rested against his shoulder and Jisung had kissed your temple - it just looked way too intimate. Too cosy.

He hated feeling this way, especially when you weren’t his to begin with. Still, the disappointment twisted in his chest and he didn't know what to do about it. So he focused on his work.

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting back to you.

---

You let it go on till about noon. But it was killing you - you weren't used to this kind of behavior from Hyunjin and it was starting to stress you out. So summoning your courage, you walked over to Hyunjin and said, “Hey,”

He glanced up, his expression neutral as he said, “Hey.”

“You okay?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light. “You're so...quiet.”

“I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.” Hyunjin said, giving you a small smile.

“You sure?” you pressed, feeling a strange pang of hurt.

He nodded, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. Don’t worry about me.”

You stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say. He was being so distant, and it left a strange, hollow ache in your chest. Finally, you gave him a small nod and walked back to your seat, feeling totally crushed by his uncharacteristic coolness.

Hyunjin’s silence stretched into the next day. And the day after that. In fact he hadn't spoken more than a couple of words to you in the past two days. And it hurt so much, considering the fact that you don't even know why he was doing this all of a sudden.

You tried to brush it off at first. Maybe he was just busy, or stressed. But the space he was putting between you felt deliberate, like he was doing this on purpose.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, was crumbling inside. He adored you. And that too for long enough that the thought of losing you was nearly unbearable.

You and Jisung were so close. And you looked so comfortable. He couldn't take it. He wasn't going to let his heart shatter like that.

So, he’d made a decision: if he couldn’t have you, he’d rather step back than risk the heartbreak of watching you fall for someone else. Even if it meant burying his feelings.

---

The next morning, you were back in the cold room. You’d been trying to salvage your protein extraction for hours, but nothing was going right. Your hands were trembling as you loaded yet another sample, and your vision blurred with tears of frustration.

“This is so stupid,” you whispered to yourself, your voice cracking. “Why can’t anything just go right for once?”

You sniffled, wiping your cheek with your sleeve, as you continued your monologue.

“I just want my Jinnie back. Why does he hate me now? What did I do wrong?” your voice wavered as you spoke through your tears.

What you didn't see was that the cold room door had opened quietly, and Hyunjin had stepped inside. He froze at the sound of your voice, his chest tightening at the sadness in your words.

Your Jinnie?

Your name slipped from his lips, soft and hesitant, “Y/N?”

You stiffened, your body freezing and your heart racing as you heard his voice.

“What?” you croaked, refusing to turn around, too mortified to meet his eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Hyunjin asked, taking a step closer.

You shook your head, refusing to face him.

“Why do you care?” You asked, and it broke his heart to see you wipe your tears.

“Please don't say that, of course I care-”

“It’s nothing. Just this stupid experiment. And... everything else.”

“Y/N,” he said again, his voice firmer now. “Please. Talk to me.”

You gripped the edge of the table, your knuckles turning white.

“I can’t do this anymore, Hyunjin,” you whispered. “I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. You won't even talk to me, and it’s killing me. I just... I just want my Hyunjinnie back. Just stop hurting me like this.”

The silence that followed was deafening. You felt the tears spill over again, your shoulders trembling as you waited for him to say something. Anything.

And then you felt it.

Warmth. His strong arms wrapping around you from behind, his chest pressing against your back as he pulled you into a tight embrace.

You gasped softly, frozen for a moment before leaning into him, your tears falling freely now.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin whispered, his voice trembling as he buried his face in your shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry.”

You turned your head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of his face.

“Why are you mad at me?” you asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he said quickly, his hold on you tightening. “It wasn’t you. It was me. I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Of losing you,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “I thought... I thought you and Jisung -”

“Jisung?” you repeated, blinking in confusion. “You know he’s my best friend, Hyunjin. He's like a brother to me.”

“I thought I was protecting myself,” he admitted, his lips close to your ear. “I thought I’d lose you to Jisung, and I couldn’t handle it. But I didn’t realize... I didn’t realize I was hurting you in the process.”

“I can't believe you never saw me thirsting over you, Hyunjin” you said, your voice incredulous. “What are you even saying?!”

Hyunjin let out a shaky laugh, burying his face into your neck. “God, I’m an idiot.”

“You are,” you sniffled, though your tone was softer now.

He pulled back just enough to turn you around, his hands gently cupping your cheeks.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you for so long. And I was so scared- ” he stopped short as he saw the look on your face.

“You... you love me?”

“I adore you,” he said, giving you a shy smile.

You let out a breathless laugh, the weight on your chest lifting for the first time in days.

“I love you too, Hyunjin. So damn much.”

His smile widened, and before you could say another word, he asked, “Can I... can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” you whispered, and when his lips met yours, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He kissed you so softly (even though you just wanted to eat him up.)

You both stepped out of the cold room together, the door clicking shut behind you. Your cheeks were flushed, your lips swollen from the kiss, and as you glanced at Hyunjin, you saw he was in no better shape.

You didn't get to take another step forward as the door to your lab opened and Jisung's head popped in.

His eyes flicked between you and Hyunjin and you could hear the gears turning in his head as he tried to piece together what he was seeing. And then he smirked.

You glared at him, because you know that look on his face, and Hyunjin just stood there, his arms crossed and a smile that said “I got what I wanted".

“Congratulations,” Jisung said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m so happy for you both. But oh my god, you two idiots…”

The grin on his face was priceless. He was enjoying this way too much.

“I swear, if you don’t shut up -” You swatted him on the arm.

Jisung winced dramatically but couldn’t hide his laughter.

“What? You guys make an adorable couple... but honestly, you both are just so dumb.”

Well, you couldn't agree more.

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght

[facefullofsadness]

psychopathic but it's okay

band!au (lsfm girlies but in a band and y/n is the 6th member)

guitarist!yunjin x bassist!y/n

prompt - you and yunjin are always arguing and after one argument, the latter has had it with you

content - smut (choking, degradation, overstimulation, slapping, handcuffs, cunnilingus, fingering, tribbing, multiple orgasms, jen kinda forces you into it), angst (harsh language, toxic, arguments, yelling), fluff if you squint hard

wc - 4405

author's note at the end :)

how many times just in this week have we argued already? I can't remember.

to say yunjin and I were toxic would be an understatement. it could be something wildly insignificant, but it wouldn't matter, we would be at each other's throats.

like last week when she told me to get the receipt for the takeout I ordered with kazuha and I forgot it. more like zuha did, but obviously, it was my fault because yunjin said it was.

and throughout this entire week we had been shouting at each other. any small inconvenience or misunderstanding, you name it, we argued about it. misplacing a hairbrush, accidentally eating someone's share, taking the wrong person's keys, showing up late to a meeting or practice. it was exhausting.

I can't even recall the last peaceful moment I had with this girl. it's been months of this dreadful and perpetual conflict that seemed to emerge out of nowhere, but it made me resent her in a way that I hated her guts.

I absolutely despise the way she thinks, her cocky attitude, her nonchalant responses, her dismissive demeanor, she drives me fucking insane.

which leads me to this moment, yelling at each other because she's playing ahead of the band.

"jen, play slower. you're fucking 2 seconds ahead of everyone else," I grumble, frustrated.

"oh whatever y/n, you try playing this shit. all you do is play the same bass line for 3 minutes straight," yunjin rolls her eyes back at me.

I close my eyes and bite my tongue, not wanting it to escalate, especially with the members around, "just play slower."

somehow, we moved on and all continued to practice. but this asshole never fixed her timing issue.

"yunjin, play slower!" I interrupt our practice again to yell at the girl.

she snaps her head at me, "fuck you y/n! I'm literally trying."

"but you're not though? because how are you still fucking off beat when we've been practicing this shit for weeks?!"

"oh my god, give me a break. you're so stuck up, sorry if I don't practice till the break of dawn everyday like you do. unlike you, I actually have a life, I don't have time to be a bratty perfectionist like you."

out of the corner of my eye, I see our youngest eunchae start to wanna speak up, but our leader chaewon stopping her from trying. with that, all the girls leave the room quietly as my blood boils at the words the raven-haired girl is throwing at me.

"I'm fucking stuck up? imagine having a career, THE dream job, and not even trying. you act like I don't have a goddamn life either jen, it's not my fault that I'm not lazy like you are."

the taller girl slings the guitar off her shoulder and aggressively puts it down before stomping up to me.

"I don't wanna hear your bossy mouth utter another word about my work ethic bitch. you're only so fussy about this because you don't have anything else in your life to look forward to."

"your sorry excuses are no use anymore yunjin. stop acting like you're the best when you're no better than an amateur, you're literally only here because there was no one else."

"did you want that to sting? sorry princess but that only works if it's the truth, we both know you all need me here. without me, you're nothing."

I clutch the strap of my bass and swing it off my body, immediately grabbing the collar of yunjin's shirt and pushing her back into the keyboard piano, making the stand shake.

"listen to me and listen fucking well. I can make you leave the band and you can act like it doesn't matter to you but I know you'll be devastated. I know you're just a scared little girl, too intimidated by the outside world to actually quit. you may not be scared of me which is why you don't try, but I'm exhausted of you trying to have power over me when you're just a weak sorry bitch who your parents are ashamed to care for anymore."

I struck it where it hurts because not only did I not care about if she would loathe me for my words, but I wanted it to.

suddenly, I'm being manhandled until my back falls against the couch in our practice room, yunjin's weight pressing me down. my hands struggle to push her off and break free, but her stronger grip grabs both of my wrists and pins them above my head against the arm rest of the sofa.

"fuck off of me jen!" I yell at her, body wriggling under her own.

her free hand suddenly takes hold of my neck and squeezes, forcing my throat to let out a struggled squeak and breath.

"shut the fuck up whore! I'm so tired of your yapping!" the girl above me growls and tightens her hold on both my wrists and neck.

I look up at her with fear growing in my eyes, and I can see the pure rage on her face. I'm incapable of moving my arms and hands free of her iron grip, and it steadily gets harder to breathe as I feel her nails, though short, dig into my skin.

"you're insufferable. you think I'm a weak sorry bitch with no power over you, huh? let me remind you otherwise since you're too braindead to remember how strong I am."

yunjin's gaze is wild. the fire in her eyes has no sign of calming and the clench in her jaw as she lowers her face towards mine doesn't release any tension. but as she nears herself and comes unfathomably close, there's no denying the lust that clouds her dilated pupils.

as my breathing becomes impossible and I get lightheaded, my senses increase and I can hear my own heart pounding in my ears. I can also hear her shaky breath and feel it reach my face. her knee in between my thighs presses against my core and I release a choked whimper.

"I'm gonna treat you like my own sex toy and you're gonna want me to fuck your brains out after I lay waste to your body. you are gonna be my fuck doll and you're gonna love every second of it, you hear me? dirty little slut."

I'm simultaneously terrified of the intensity and escalation of the situation, but I'm also unbelievably horny at this point. the ache in between my legs grows hot and I feel it start to throb with the way her knee digs deeper into my core.

"I can't..." I manage to choke out, pleading with the darting of my eyes focusing on her face and between her intense glare.

yunjin eventually releases tension on my throat, and I can breathe again, oxygen slowly enabling itself to run through my lungs again. the lustful stare never wavers, however, and both of our gazes are fixed on each other's eyes.

"I don't care if you can't take it, I'm gonna make you."

with that, she moves her hand, once choking my neck, and grasps around it, fingers clutching my nape, her head diving in to begin leaving sloppy kisses trailing my jaw downwards. the pressure on my airways is gone, but my breath still stops in my throat as her mouth kisses, sucks, and bites harshly at my neck.

"w-wait... don't do t-that..." I stutter, telling her to slow down or stop.

"shut the fuck up." she growls aggressively against my ear, "I'm gonna have you however I want."

there's no room for protest as I feel the hand on my neck trail down my collarbone and between my breasts, her finger circling around my right boob and going inwards, finally pinching the nipple at the middle.

"nghh.." the noise in my throat releases on its own.

"my little slut, so easy to use. why else wouldn't you wear a bra under such a mesh shirt? you wanted this so bad, didn't you?"

the treatment of my boobs and nipples harshens as she's suddenly slapping her hand against them, watching as they jiggle under my thin shirt. I yelp out in pain, still feeling my core rush with wetness.

"you're wearing too much," yunjin scoffs.

her hand pops open all the buttons of my shirt and fingers return to harassing my hard buds. my body struggles under her again as her tongue drags along my neck and across my collarbone, the sharp bites of her teeth occasionally making me tug at the harsh grip at my wrists again.

the noises of her mouth on my skin are so wet, I can even hear her heavy breathing and small moans escape, intensifying the pleasure building in my lower stomach. I can't help but release a deep groan at one of my abused nipples being enveloped by her needy mouth.

"f-fuck.. no, s-stop- ahhhh..." I try to get out.

my words are drowned out by the sounds of my whimpers growing louder and the slurping of my tit in her mouth. my eyes struggle to keep open, watching her tongue flick around my bud, yunjin switching to my other boob, repeating everything all the same.

"can you stop moving? god, I'm doing something here and your flailing is infuriating." she let's out a frustrated huff before detaching completely from my body, reaching for something underneath the couch.

my hands are free for a second before I feel cold steel capture my wrists, cuffing them together and securing them on a pipe against the wall.

"so much better." she states satisfied before bringing both her hands to slap both of the sides of my boobs.

I let out an unstable shout at the stinging pain that followed, and it only continued as she grasped at my chest with both hands and kneads at them needily.

"jen... please, ahhh.." I whimper out.

"huh? what was that y/n? you need to speak up for me." she continues her abuse on my tits as my eyes water.

"it hurts..." I manage.

"oh is that so? too bad I don't really care. after all, if I were weak, it wouldn't hurt so much right?" yunjin says in a mocking tone.

her hands become aggressive, dragging themselves down my body and grasping hard at my waist, squeezing my thighs, before landing a harsh slap on my ass, one side, then the next.

"yunjin ah! please! fuck, it hurts..."

"a powerless little girl like me shouldn't be able to harm you, right y/n-ie?"

fuck you huh yunjin.

my eyes are still squeezed shut as I feel her start to unbuckle my pants and zip them down, taking my jeans off of me. my core is absolutely throbbing with desire, panties soaked.

she places a finger at the hem of my underwear, dragging the digit down, trailing my mound, to my aching clit, through my leaking entrance, then pinching the material and letting it snap back into place, warranting a shiver down my spine at the feeling.

"I should've known a whore like you would be drenched after all that. you kick and whine about how much it hurts but look at how much you fucking love it."

it's hard to argue with her when the anticipation to feel her relieve my desire grows stronger the more she messes with me.

"don't worry darling, I'll ruin you perfectly."

I feel my panties get pushed to the side before a hot and wet muscle is felt at the base of my entrance trailing up slowly, until there's a hard suck at my bundle of nerves.

"fuckkkkk ahhhh!!!" I let out an involuntary scream at the feeling.

god it feels so good, my eyes squeezed shut as her onslaught of eating me out continues, hard and fast. she bends my knees and forces my legs apart, holding my thighs so she has free reign of my pussy.

"mmm, it's in the way," I hear her mumble before a loud tear is heard, assumedly from my panties.

I could care less when she sucks hard with her mouth over both my clit and hole, tongue darting between circling my bundle of nerves and digging into my pussy. I tug hard at my restraints, wanting so badly to grasp her luscious dark hair and push her into me.

my hips move on their own, trying to grind against her mouth, but they fail when yunjin's hands push my thighs apart again and she wraps her arms around them, hands on my waist. I force my eyes open and look down at her, what a sight.

her eyes are closed, and she looks peaceful. so unlike the rapid and desperate licking, sucking, and moaning coming out of her sinful mouth. the grip on my waist is firm but so gentle, her thumbs rubbing softly against my skin. she only takes a hand off of my waist to run fingers through her hair, pushing it back to have all the room she needs to indulge in my waterfall. yunjin definitely craved this more than me.

moans continued to slip out of my mouth, fueling her on.

"you're so delicious, this pussy is mine," I feel her mumble against my lips though still audible.

"fuck me jen, more more more, ahhh, yes, keep going just like that, oh my god!!!"

I was about to shut my eyes again until she looked up at me. through half lidded eyes, it almost looked like they were completely black, pupils so blown it was hard to tell if she was human. the desire was so fiery in her eyes and looking up at me only drew her in further, digging her face into my pussy.

her tongue dug impossibly deep into my hole, flicking wildly inside of me, making me arch my back in immense pleasure. her nose rubbing against my hot clit contributed to the build up of my impending climax.

the hold on my waist tightened, securing my hips down to the sofa, her eyes closed again as I shut my own as well, the noises coming from a mixture of my leaking pussy and her lewd slurping were indescribably orgasmic, the desperate moaning slipping from both of our mouths were borderline embarrassing if it weren't for our soundproof walls covering the sounds of sin.

"jennifer oh my god fuck fuck please, shit. b-baby... I'm, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum sosososo hard..." I rambled.

I heard as I continued to incoherently mumble anything that came to mind as I felt her grip on my waist start to hurt, nails digging into my skin, making my lower half impossible to move.

"give me your cum now, let me drink you," yunjin says with the sexiest most raspy voice I've heard from her.

a low moan from deep in her throat against my pussy vibrates against my clit, her tongue thrusting into my hole repeatedly at insane speeds. it was so overwhelming and more than enough to launch me over the edge.

my vision disappeared, my body shook viscerally, my mouth fell open and loud screaming came out of it as I orgasmed with so much pleasure. I felt my pussy gush cum into yunjin's expectant mouth, her tongue continuing to flail in me. I struggle hard against the restraints still, feeling my wrists sting with every tug. I can't think straight, my body shaking with every wave of pleasure that runs through me.

I fall limp, my head shaking left to right and mumbles coming out of my mouth. yunjin calms her pace and gives kitten licks up and down my slit, lapping up any other juices I released that she missed. her grip on my waist loosens, and they caress my sides carefully. she makes her way up to meet my face, planting abnormally soft kisses in her wake, her hands softly caressing my red skin. all the slap markings, all the bites, all the hickies, all the nail marks, spots red, spots bloody, her touch eases the pain.

"y/n..." she whispers against my ear, making me shiver.

I can't even open my eyes as the exhaustion hits me hard. I hear her mess with the pipe and cuffs around my wrists before I feel my hands fall against the arm rest again, freeing my arms finally. yunjin picks both of them up and places gentle pecks all around both wrists, slowly spreading her comfort across my entire body.

"jen..." a croak somehow comes out of my mouth.

"baby..." her voice, gentle...

"are you okay angel?" she whispers loud enough for me to hear.

my heart stops beating but resumes at the speed of sound after a moment.

I can't respond, and so she comes closer to my face and cups my cheek with a careful hand, intently observing my expression and condition. I feel her thumb softly caress my bottom lip and her stare fall onto my slightly open mouth.

"I.. I'm..." I can't form another word as the exhaustion catches up and my eyes fall shut.

every other sense of mine is alert, I'm still fully conscious, but my eyes refuse to open, they simply can't. I feel yunjin come closer to me then suddenly small kisses tracing my jaw, lips against my ear.

"you can rest y/n-ie, I'll do the rest."

wait, what?

her hand that was once on my face trails down my body, tracing over all the marks again, before her slender fingers slip between my folds, causing my entire body to jolt.

"jen?!" I shriek out, my hands flying to grip her arms.

"shhh, just relax. I told you already, you're just my little sex toy, I need to get my usage out of you."

fuck, I should've known she was feigning generosity.

I had no time to respond as after gathering enough of my cum from my last orgasm, yunjin swiftly slips two fingers into my tired cunt.

"FUCK!" I scream out.

my body reacts on its own, shaking against her warm body leaning against me.

"you've got another one in you, don't you?"

her pace picks up quickly, my pussy burning at the speed. suddenly, her thumb rubs harshly against my overstimulated clit, causing me to cry out.

"t-too much! please!" I sob into her shoulder.

yunjin's body hovers over mine, holding me close. one of my hands gripping her arm pumping in and out of me, the other clutching the back of her shirt, my face wet with tears flowing in her shoulder, melting into her neck.

"you should've thought about that before you talked shit huh?"

"I- I can't!"

"I already told you I don't fucking care y/n, how many times do I have to say it?"

I feel my own tears stain the taller girl's shirt as her fingers ram into my abused hole over and over again, pulling out all the way just to slam back into me again. I scream intensely when a third finger is added, immediately hitting that euphoric spot inside.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant between every pump of her swift fingers.

"you truly make the perfect little cum slut don't you?"

"jen, ah, ah, ah, please, fuck..."

"what is it baby? feel it coming again?"

I moan out an incomprehensible 'yes' in response, to which I feel yunjin smile against my forehead, planting a sweet peck.

"beg me angel, beg me to keep fucking you until you cum."

my eyes roll back into my head, tears still spilling out and hands gripping for dear life. even if I wanted to beg, I don't think I'm physically capable.

her fingers still inside of me, stopping her movement on my pussy entirely, even on my clit. I whine loudly in response, legs shaking and grip tightening on her.

"no no please yunjin, I- I need you, I need you to keep fucking me. I need to finish, I need your fingers, I'm so close jinny, please please, god please let me cum. I can't, I can't take it, it hurts, it hurts so bad, jen oh god please, don't fucking stop. I need you to keep going, please don't stop now, please please jen-"

my rambling is interrupted by her fingers pounding into my cunt once again, with impossible speed, making my throat strain with another uncontrollable scream of pleasure.

"let it go, give it to me y/n. I want to feel it gush around me again, I need to feel your body fall apart."

and just as quickly as it started, it ended. an explosion of euphoria ripples through me again, I feel goosebumps form on my skin as I moan deafeningly, my fingers sinking into yunjin's body and holding on for dear life. her fingers continue to get sucked into me, clenching hard onto her long digits as she rubs my clit still.

"yes, that's my girl, give it all to me."

my body is shaking, with every subtle touch yunjin does to me, it reacts. my mouth stays open as I can feel the saliva drool out, my eyes barely open but it's no use, it's not like I can see anything clearly.

"your body is just meant for this y/n, I was right. my perfect little angel, the best fuck doll for me."

her fingers slip out of me and I grunt at the loss of fullness. out of the very small field of view I have, I watch as she sucks the juices off her fingers, closing her eyes and savoring the flavor, licking up each of them one by one.

"you're doing so well, but baby..." she leans in and mumbles against my lips, "give me one more."

there's no room for resistance as she moves to get into position. what a menace huh yunjin is. she already knows I'm fucked out of my mind that I'm physically incapable of doing anything. I've always been really sensitive and she's using that weakness against me ten fold.

I try my best to pay attention to what she's doing, watching as she slides her shorts and panties down her legs, the two articles of clothing absolutely soaked. she gets on top of me again and lifts one of my legs up, wrapping it around her waist, her straddling my pussy with her own, interlocking our legs.

"it's finally my turn. fuckkk..."

she moans out as she starts to grind her pussy against mine. every thrust makes my body jolt with overstimulation, I don't know how to take it anymore.

however, watching huh yunjin roll her hips against me, her hands placing my own on her waist, watching as she throws her head back and sweat drips down her long neck, my pleasure grows again. the woman looks ethereal riding me, using my body to get off, it's unreal how delectable watching her fuck me is.

"f-faster, h-harder, jen..." both of us look surprised when I manage to speak.

a sinister smirk crawls and spreads across the aforementioned woman's face, hands on my thighs tapping in approval, "of course darling, who am I to deny?"

and so she fucks me harder, so much harder. so much fucking faster. I immediately see stars and the squelching lewd noises of our sopping cunts fill my ears, accompanied by the pornographic moans from both of us. I feel the rhythmic pattern of yunjin's hips rolling against me with my hands on her waist.

I pull her forward against me, thrusting my own hips up into her, gaining leverage and screaming out in pleasure as our clits bump repeatedly because of this.

"fuck y/n! you're so good at this, don't... don't you dare give out on me right now, you feel too fucking incredible."

the girl above me has her head down facing my own, eyes screwed shut, face scrunched up looking focused, mouth hanging open. one of my hands feel up her body, trailing up her covered front and grazing her nipples, eliciting a groan to come from her throat. my hand cups her cheek and pulls her closer to my face, making her open her eyes and make eye contact with me.

we stare straight into each others' eyes, observing the expressions on our faces, memorizing the view forever. I hate this girl so much, I hate her with my entire being, but she's beautiful, she's goddess-like, and she's absolutely perfect in my trembling hands, looking into my eyes like I'm the only one in her world.

yunjin leans in to finally kiss me, plump and soft lips roughly clashing against my own. I desperately chase to reciprocate the passion she pushes into my mouth, forcing my tongue into her and ramming it down her throat, making her moan out. her mouth feels like heaven on earth as I melt into her delicious strawberry flavored lips, tongue and her saliva tasting like all the cum she sucked out of my cunt just moments prior.

her thrusts become sloppy and I feel my hole start to clench around nothing as we moan into each others' mouth.

"cum with me love, cum with me, please baby, I need you." her voice shaky and sounding vulnerable.

I open my eyes one last time to look up at her, eyes getting watery too. I take her bottom lip into my mouth and pull away with my teeth, letting it go with a pop.

"I'm cumming love, I'm cumming..." I warn her.

I pull her into me and hug her, embracing her tightly as she painfully grips my thighs, stilling her hips and feeling her warmth leak all over my pussy. I moan along with her, screaming out in blinding pleasure, my heat flooding both of our thighs and running down my legs, onto the couch under.

she collapses on top of me, her entire body weight covering me completely. I snuggle my face into her neck, placing soft kisses around every area I could reach.

"are you okay?" I ask softly into her ear.

I'm met with no response but soft breathing near my ear. I peer over to look at her face and she's out cold.

I giggle softly at the gorgeous woman sprawled out on top of me, legs intertwined, cum running down our legs, her lips bruised and red.

"I think I won this argument jennifer."

a/n - i'm just realizing that this barely had any actual band dynamics or anything and that makes me sad bc i love that shit so much. sob, oh well maybe another time (part???). my first idea for this concept was slow down by chase atlantic but then i switched it bc i feel like i could write a better plot for the lyric i orginally chose so stay tuned mayhaps in the future. anyways, hiiiii first post pls don't bully me tumblr is foreign land to me but writing is not though I haven't written in months 😙 enjoy first fic w my actual gf (like actually fr fr huh yunjin is my gf she proofread this-)

[aquatark]

My previous post made me realize that not a lot of people here are aware of Endless Ocean's bowmouth guitarfish glitch fiasco, which I think is a shame because 1) it's an interesting look into this game's history, and 2) I find it really funny... long-winded explanation incoming!

So! you see this guy?

You can place him in the game's aquarium, right? I bet if you've played the game, you've done it without even thinking twice!

...Well, in the initial Japanese release of Endless Ocean (known over there as Forever Blue), you couldn't. In fact, attempting to place this little scrimbly in the aquarium crashes your game.

Now this isn't too bad, since you can just press the reset button and continue your game normally, right? well... if you happen to leave the aquarium and save the game after having opened the creature placing menu, selecting a bowmouth guitarfish, and then closing the menu without placing anything... then congrats! you can never use the aquarium again, because it autoplaces whatever you left in that menu on your next visit! :D

In case you're wondering what this looks like in action, this video taken around the game's launch showcases it well, while also using the game's MP3 playback feature to put some anime music in the background, which I think adds to the experience:

So... how does this happen? How could something like this make it into the final game?

Turns out, this is due to how Endless Ocean categorizes creatures internally. Each creature in the game falls into a category, depending on the movements and behaviors the developers wanted to give them. For example, "migrate" type creatures follow a set of coordinate points creating a route around a stage, whereas "swim" type creatures simply swim around the area in which they are placed within a certain radius. Think of a whale shark's movements versus that of a butterflyfish - they have very different AI telling them how to behave.

Now, trying to load a creature of one type as a creature of another... does not make the game happy, to put it lightly. It doesn't know how to handle the request, and so crashes to prevent further weirdness from ensuing. There is only one byte (literally the second smallest unit of digital information storage you could use) per creature responsible for telling the game what type to load the creature as, and this includes when placing creatures in the aquarium. A slip of the keyboard caused a dev to type the wrong number in this byte, making it attempt to spawn bowmouth guitarfish placed in the aquarium as "swim" type rather than their correct "migrate" type. Literally one wrong number caused the game to crash, and for ears to bleed across Japan.

Since the aquarium is unlocked so early in the game, people discovered this on day one, in their first play session... and since Endless Ocean was a launch game for the Wii in Japan, that's even worse. It's not exactly a great look for your brand new console to have a game break so bad you can't use a mechanic anymore. And Wii game crashes are not pretty. So, Nintendo put out a statement on the day of release, notifying people of the problem, how to avoid it, and saying that a recall would be put in place. A week later, they released another statement, which stated people could apply to have their games replaced with an updated version, which would be mailed to them free of charge, by either phoning in or filling out an application online. This service continued up until 2020, over ten years after release! They really didn't want any copies of the broken version around... good thing we have archives of it!

The updated version even has different box art, with an added blue bar at the bottom, showcased in this incredibly crunchy image:

I love picturing Nintendo executives freaking out after a humble diving game causes such a mess they have to print the game again, losing them a lot of money and causing the game to get a lot of negative press...

I've seen old forum threads talking about the game as if it's garbage before it even came out internationally, because this situation was pretty much the only major news coming out about it. Can't have helped sales, at least...

Anyway, the game was patched to fix this glitch, along with a few other minor tweaks, and it was this version of the game that got translated worldwide. Japanese fans love joking about the whole ordeal, and I can see why! For example, on the bowmouth guitarfish's Niconico Pedia page (for which the closest equivalent in English would be something like Know Your Meme), this is recounted comedically as "...probably the most notable moment for the bowmouth guitarfish in the history of the internet", which is probably true! There's even image macros about it!

So yeah. The bowmouth guitarfish's reputation was forever tainted, and some Nintendo execs to this day probably wince when they see one.

tl;dr - A developer for Endless Ocean typed one number wrong in the code, making the game explode if you place a bowmouth guitarfish in the aquarium. Nintendo had to recall the game, and that specific fish has lived on in infamy among Japanese fans ever since.

Next time you use the aquarium, try putting a bowmouth guitarfish in there, and be grateful you can at all!

[xavier-is-online]

Courtney Autism Headcanons I have because all of my favs are neurodivergent

Fun fact- my very first headcanon of Total Drama was that Courtney is autistic. Is this me projecting? YEAH AND WHAT ABOUT IT????

She got diagnosed at a rather early age (3 years old) with Autism, though her family always stressed to her that she should never tell anyone for fear of it messing with their reputation

Her special interest is court cases, funny enough. She loves looking up court documents and watching trials and she enjoys talking about how if she was a judge/ lawyer, how she would proceed/defend the case. Her parents noticed this and began pushing her into pursuing a career as a lawyer

She also has special interests in geography, birds of prey, MMA fighting and musical theater (though that last special interest often gets repressed since she's been taught that things such as theater are frivolous)

REALLY good at masking, so much so that she unintentionally will mask. Years of suppression has really helped in making people believe she's fully neurotypical! She was masking in the 1st season, up until she gets (unfairly) voted off

No, she doesn't have a fear of green jelly, but it is a MAJOR sensory issue for her. In fact, most gelatin and gelatin-like foods trigger her. She can't eat anything with a gummy texture

She unfortunately has a very hard time regulating her emotions since her parents couldn't be bothered to assist her anymore beyond getting a proper diagnosis. She can have very big reactions to very little inconveniences (especially if she knows she has no control over the situation)

VERY routine-oriented, so if that routine veers even slightly off track, she gets upset. She plans her week out in advance since schedules give her a sense of security

When she's not wearing shoes she walks around on her tiptoes

She also has a stim of balling her hands into fists and moving her arms up and down

She doesn't tell anybody about her diagnosis when she first arrives on the island, since it's been imbedded into her head that people will see her as less than if she tells anyone (and it's 2007, people- especially teenagers- are absolutely ableist)

Harold figures it out pretty quickly though and just outright asks her in private while they both are on Playa Des Losers since he wanted to know. She denies it at first but literally no one has just ever plainly asked her that and so she kinda breaks down and admits that yes, she is autistic, and Harold just stands there confused because why is she acting like she just got caught doing something horribly wrong

Turns out, in Courtney's eyes, something IS wrong with her. Harold straight up tells her that there's nothing she can do to make her autism "better" but it's not like being autistic is a death sentence. It's part of what makes her, her

That sorta blows her mind because all Courtney's life she's been made to feel like something is wrong with her. She never thought to just…. accept her neurodivergence. Huh

From then on she learns to just accept herself for who she is. It's a lot better than living your life ashamed of something you can't change

Duncan doesn't figure it out until like 5 years later LMAO

She doesn't keep many fidget toys, BUT, she really likes typing on keyboards. She keeps a couple out-of-use keyboards around and that's partly why she also loves her PDA

[s1lv3rp4w3dc4t]

french taco is always in my brain forever. (french taco's tirade day 4 soon btw³)

she's my favoritest girl AND she speaks the language I'm learning?? how could I NOT love that??????

(SO much more yapping under the cut)

I'll say this again in a different post most likely, but what they don't tell you about learning a language is that it will consume you. you'll so badly want to speak it and know more and more that it will drown you and you'll suffocate under the weight of suddenly having to pull yourself yourself away. sorry lol that sounded really heavy. I just really love french.

and I have so many thoughts about taco speaking it???????? but I can't even express them??????

here's a sentence in french I've wanted to use on taco ii for so long but haven't found a place to.¹

"vous habitez dans la forêt"

literally (roughly) translating to

"you (formal) live in the forest"

I. YOU.

HAND GESTURES AT SENTENCE

JUST. JUST LOOK AT IT.

in every waking moment I am thinking about french taco. I know the french word for suitcase! IT'S VALISE!!!!² AND IT'S A FEMININE NOUN!!!!! (tacocase shippers where are you. I have good news please come here.)

I also think her and mepad speak in french to each other. (see ¹) I think they have conversations and argue and I think mepad is translating all then and there lol.

I think pickle knows a few french words because of taco, but refuses to say them anymore because they remind him of her. do you think she called him "tu"? do you think she introduced him as "mon ami"? do you think she looked him in the eye(s) and did that? I do, and I think now the story is different. I think now she calls him "vous" so he doesn't pick up on it and argue that they aren't friends anymore.

but I don't think she had enough time to unlearn it for mic. I think she still calls her "tu", even- (sorry to interrupt, but it was this exact moment that I had a violently strong desire and urge to listen to 'little soldiers' by the Crane Wives for no apparent reason other than that I started writing and mic and taco. I'm listening now as I write this post.) -after their falling out. and I think, in time, mic starts learning french words with her. I think they start having conversations and mic learns french. maybe it's me projecting here, but I think she'd want to learn french. or maybe she's learning it because she still can't trust taco not to plan behind her back.

an early message (see ²) leads me to a question. do object's object names count as names and shouldn't be translated, or because they're objects, should they be translated? in simple words, if suitcase's name is Suitcase, and a piece of dialogue was written in french involving her name (ex: "salut, [suitcase]!"), would it be the french word for suitcase (valise), OR, because it's also her name, would it stay suitcase? "salut, Valise!" vs "salut, Suitcase!" this is also a question for multilingual (or others that know) osc fans.

okay back to taco. isn't it interesting how she's mexican food with a british accent that's fluent in french, and lives among what I can only assume to be american adjacent objects? that's so strange! that's so unique! I love her sm!!!!!!!

I really wish we got her french speaking brought up more, but I understand that would be difficult and kind of pointless to do for the plot of the show lol. we interrupt this plotline to bring you a message from taco, "PÉRIR, SERPENTS" thank you. this has been the inanimate insanity movie actually 1/one. I think I would have screamed forever if she got just ONE french line. ever. in season 2/two. I would have lost my mind. I would be so happy I got violent.

(I'm still listening to little soldiers, fyi. listen to it.)

I don't read or write fanfic but I'm starting to think I may have to so I can write french taco lines.

ALSO I SHOULD READ/WATCH MORE THINGS I FRENCH. (maybe I'll check if ii has an option like that so I can make french taco a reality lol)

ALSO!!!! french taco's tirade (see ³) has damaged my keyboard suggestions forever. watch this. habite dans la slate de la forêt. what was that wait what. "live in the slate of the forest"????? that's. that's french keyboard suggestion taco's advice today for you.

I feel like I'm saying nothing anymore. you want to see my attempts at a taco's tirade translation? of course you do, you're reading this.

day 1/one

[lanawinterscigarettes]

What Dies Doesn't Always Stay Buried (Missy/Gomez! Master x reader x Thirteenth Doctor)

Summary: you left your home to travel with the Doctor after the loss of Missy, but what happens when she comes back?

Warnings: implications of the reader going through the different stages of grief, references to overdrinking, mild swearing, starts sad but ends happy, the beginnings of a surprisingly healthy poly relationship between Missy, reader and the Doctor, suggestive comment made by Missy near the end

A/N: is this an incredibly niche pairing that I wrote for? yes. but I can't get the thoughts I have of Missy x 13 out of my mind, so I can't be bothered to apologize for it. I just sort of spilled out a bunch of nonsense onto my keyboard so the plot, storyline, ending, literally any of it might be garbage, but eh. most people probably aren't going to see this anyway, and if I cared that much I wouldn't be posting it in the first place

Everything felt dull and gray after you lost Missy. It was like nothing you did mattered anymore. You started acting reckless and stopped caring about the consequences of your actions. Not that you thought about them too much before, but at least then you had Missy to enjoy the chaos with. Not anymore.

You honestly didn't think there was anything or anyone that could ever make you feel happy again. Until the Doctor showed back up and did just that. Out of all the people you thought could possibly make you feel better, never in a million years would you have ever expected it to be them.

They found you wasted in some shady bar on a planet you'd crashed Missy's TARDIS on, drunkenly trying to pick a fight with an alien who was much bigger than you. After paying your tab and apologizing profusely to both the bartender and several of the patrons, they dragged you outside and propped you up against the wall of the bar's alleyway.

"What the hell were you thinking? What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?" Something about this random stranger seemed awfully familiar, but considering you were utterly wasted it was difficult for you to recognize them for who they were.

"Look here, blondie," you slurred in annoyance, shooting them an unimpressed glare. "Who are you-" you jabbed your finger at their chest to emphasize your point "-to tell me what to do?"

The stranger scoffed and rolled their eyes at your rude behavior. "I'm the Doctor, obviously." She looked down at her frame before adding in a mutter under her breath, "though I suppose I do appear a bit different than last time."

Your eyes widened almost comically at her words as you finally put two and two together. "Oh, hey, I know you-" You went to give her a friendly pat on the arm but instead toppled forward, landing against her.

She let out a soft "oof" as she caught you, sighing as she realized just how out of it you appeared to be. "Alright, that's it. I'm taking you with me."

"Wha- hey, no, you can't just take me in like I'm a stray dog," you protested as she took you by the arm and helped you to her TARDIS, doing just that.

You didn't remember much more from that night other than waking up with a killer hangover, but since then you'd been staying with the Doctor and accompanying her on her travels. She gave you the option to go back home, bringing it up several times in fact, but each time you refused.

Missy was gone, meaning you had no home to go back to. And while you never told her the real reason why you didn't want to leave, you were sure The Doctor knew.

At first you wanted nothing to do with her, refusing to leave your room. Eventually that grew boring, and you found yourself reluctantly making conversation with the Doctor whenever you bumped into her on your mindless walks through the seemingly never ending halls of the TARDIS.

It brought you peace, as they reminded you of the ones that Missy had in hers. You'd sit there on the floor, staring at the ceiling as you wallowed in your grief until either the Doctor found you or you fell asleep.

You wanted to stay soaking in your ceaseless pain forever, feeling guilty anytime you found it in you to smile or laugh. Especially whenever it was caused by the sonic screwdriver wielding blonde.

It felt like betrayal, to be able to find happiness and peace with your former love's best enemy. But after everything you'd been through, you couldn't help it.

You knew you'd cling to the next person you formed a connection with after Missy's death, regardless of who it was. And even though you tried to keep your distance, tried to brush off your feelings as the misplaced love you still had for Missy, it was more than that. Much more.

The feelings you grew for the Doctor weren't shallow or fake, they were very much real. After being alone and miserable for so long, you were able to get rid of your grief and let it all go, finally accepting that you were happy.

You and the Doctor were in love, and even though you still cared for Missy you were finally able to accept her being gone. Until all hell broke loose when the one thing you never expected would happen did- she came back.

The Doctor had taken you on one of her standard 'let's land on this random planet and see what comes of it' trips. The two of you were walking hand in hand through the ruins of some ancient civilization, stopping occasionally to study the crumbling architecture.

You listened as she happily rambled on about the city's people and what inevitably caused their downfall, smiling to yourself at her childlike nature. As you glanced around the room that she'd told you was once used as a temple of sorts, your eyes caught a small compact mirror that lay on the ground.

Letting go of her hand, you knelt down and carefully picked it up. It was much too modern looking and not nearly damaged enough to have come from this time period. "Hey, Doc, what's this?"

She stopped mid sentence and moved to crouch down next to you, carefully taking the compact mirror from you. "I'm not exactly sure." She admitted as she turned it over in her hands, studying it closely. "Obviously it's a mirror of sorts, but it doesn't appear to be from this time period, or, hell, even this planet."

Before you could respond, a silky voice cut through the room, one that didn't belong to either of you. "That would mine. I must've dropped it, silly me."

Both of your heads snapped up immediately, the Doctor's eyes narrowing in suspicion as yours widened in shock. You couldn't believe who it was. There was just no way. It was impossible. It couldn't be her.

"Who is it?" The Doctor asked cautiously as she stood, carefully pulling you off the ground with her. You wanted to say something to reassure her, but your words seemed to fail you. There was so much that you had to say, and yet when you went to speak, nothing came out.

An amused chuckle came from the same shadowy area that the voice had. "Oh, Doctor, surely you haven't forgotten me already." The person to which the voice belonged stepped forward, moving out of the shadows and in toward the light.

Your previous suspicions were confirmed almost instantly, your jaw dropping as you took in the sight of the woman before you. It was Missy, just like you'd thought.

Her hair was down and looked curly from being unbrushed, she was lacking any makeup, and her clothes looked like she stole them from the previous Master, but it was definitely her. If you hadn't known her so well, you might not've been able to recognize her at first, but you figured that was possibly done by her on purpose.

"Missy," you breathed her name out, your hand instinctively reaching out for her. She smiled at you softly, moving her own hand out to take yours as she took a few steps closer.

"Hello, dear." Her eyes traveled along the features of your face slowly, as if she was trying to take you in. "I take it you missed me."

She flickered her gaze from you over to where the Doctor stood. She hadn't spoken once since the dramatic reveal, uncharacteristic for her as she usually could never shut up. "What's the matter? Didn't expect to see me again so soon, now did you?" Missy asked proudly, seeming quite smug.

Instead of speaking, the Doctor just continued to stand there for a moment before lunging forward and pulling Missy in for a bone crushing hug. You're not entirely sure what was said, but it sounded a lot like the Doctor muttered "I missed you", followed by a soft apology.

Both you and Missy were speechless. Neither of you had been expecting this tender display of affection to come from her. Anger, maybe, sure. Sorrow, even, you might've thought. But not this.

You watched in awe as Missy hesitantly used her free hand to pat the Doctor's back, her proud demeanor softening as she melted into the hug. After a few moments, you felt her tug on your hand gently as a subtle invitation to join the two.

That was all it took. You moved over to them, wrapping your arms around the two loves of your life as you let out a quiet sigh of content. Part of you had been worried that the Doctor would try to keep you away from Missy as a means to protect you, so you were relieved to see that didn't seem to be the case.

"I love you." Your soft voice cut through the comfortable silence, causing the four heartbeats belonging to the two Time Ladies in front of you to quicken. "Both of you."

"Ah, well, I love you, too," the Doctor replied somewhat awkwardly, as you'd never said that to her before.

Missy let out an amused giggle before speaking, having already heard this sentiment coming from you before numerous times. "So do I. I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."

It didn't slip past you how she seemed to be addressing both you and the Doctor, and judging by how the blonde's cheeks flushed it apparently hadn't gone unnoticed by her either.

"That's- that's great, then." She stammered out nervously, avoiding looking Missy directly in the eyes. "Let's head back to the TARDIS, then, shall we? I'm sure Missy must want to change into something that's more her style."

"Yes, let's. And if you're lucky, I just might let you help me out of the clothes I'm wearing." Missy added in a low purr, something that made you grin in delight while the Doctor's face turned redder still. It was nice to know that even in this new dynamic involving the three of you, some things hadn't changed.

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🏷 taglist: @theonetruepotato87 @sessa23

[northwest-cryptid]

You know a very real part of me wonders how many of us have depression and see life as less of a fun and vibrant place as we get older if not just because it literally is.

I'm not even talking about how your body adjusts and how colors lose their vibrancy and all that. I'm talking about how when I was young, we sure as hell had Nokia bricks that were just black or grey or whatever. However we also had colored pencil boxes, and Macintosh computers for kids in school, cars came in brighter more varied colors, and most the tech was either given a colored shell like old Gameboy devices, or had some kind of colored accessories. A lot of the latest stuff coming out was stylized almost to a fault of form over function. Everything from phones and computers to art supplies and backpacks had some kind of vibrant color and whimsical design to it. Not just because most of that shit was for kids; but because it was just what we did back in the day.

Your computer mouse would have a unique shape or your jacket would have interesting little design tweaks from others. Maybe your shoes lit up or had some kind of weird gimmick to them. Now it's like, my monitors are black thin squares, my computer is a minimalist white box with a clear side panel and some RGB lights. That's all the color I get, a black keyboard with RGBs, a black thin tablet; a black generic mouse with RGBs, black headphones; black controllers, a black thin phone, a black mic sitting on a black mic arm on my black thin desk.

Listen I get it, I'm goth and all that, I understand that a lot of this is a matter of choice, but a lot of it also isn't. This is just how tech looks now, this is just how things are designed. To be thinner, to be sleeker, to be ignored. Sure blobjects and the like were horrible wastes of plastic, but I cannot tell you just how much personality everything had. The world used to embrace vibrancy and whimsy, now it is seen as childish. Now we seek the "modern" mundane look of monotone grays, black and white tech. It's all so boring, and the stuff that is slightly unique is expensive as hell. You can't afford to have personality in your tech anymore, literally. If something does have an ounce of interesting design it's typically pretty cheaply made and will fail within a year.

I don't latch onto Y2K aesthetics and the like because of some weird nostalgia for a promised future torn away from me by capitalism. I genuinely enjoy the vibrant colors, interesting fun designs, and just general love for life that it had. Y2K to me is a celebration of technology, it's why nearly everything came with the option to be transparent so you could see all the inner workings. Now even that has been dumbed down to a generic black cube graphics card and some generic minimalist black fans in my PC. That's all I get now, I don't get these colorful transparent interesting shells that let me peer into the inner workings of the tech I use. It's either unavailable, or too expensive; and even when it is available and affordable; it's typically poorly made or fails to understand the true aesthetic and interest of the reason for it in the first place. I don't care if I can see into my PC if all that's in there is a generic sleek black box. Show me the circuit boards, the wires and connections. Show me the lights that flash to indicate signals firing and being received.

Show me the soul of the machine I operate, let me watch as it dances to carry out my will. We used to be in love with our technology, we used to appreciate it's inner workings, what made it tick. It was like seeing the innards of a loved one but rather than feeling repulsed; it was like seeing their very soul, understanding that you love not only the exterior; but that you find beauty in what makes them function on the inside too.

Now all I'm left with is a simple thin black box, to be tucked away; hidden out of sight; ignored. Tech is something to be used, upgraded, replaced; and discarded. We do not love our tech, we do not love anything we create now. We create to consume, to sell; to profit.

[ssivinee]

➢ 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝙰𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚜

⚠︎ Directions ⇒ Main | Chapter 1 Elysium- Once the party girls of Langso University. The four met during a mutual friend's party. Yujin, Yena, Chaewon, and Wonyoung become close as they practically partied weekly with each other. Soon, the girls find out Yujin's love for music finding it interesting.

When the girls found out Yena's older brother had multiple instruments, the Choi household became their hangout spot. They fooled around with the guitars and drums until they became a real band.

Ahn Yujin 03' Liner | Lead Vocalist A girl who realized her massive ego had come in the way of her many friendships. Every enemy she had made throughout her life was because of her own jealousy and insecurity as a child.

Your former best friend turned enemy. Yujin loves flirting with anyone and everyone, but when it comes to you, you always feel like she just wants to torture you with her 'charms.'

Things Yujin has said: "Stop trying to fool yourself. You're clearly falling for me." "I can do anything and do it perfectly." "Y/n? She's a hot girl who hates me. Is the feeling mutual, though?... I'm not too sure anymore."

Choi Yena 99' Liner | Drummer As the party host of the group, Yena had been the girl who was known for holding the grandest of parties during their university days. She met the girls through her friend, Minju, who invited all of them to her 'first day of school party', and she hit it off with the three.

Yena's older brother was previously an independent artist who decided to not pursue the career, instead heading into an office job. After knowing the girls for some time, their hang-out spot would usually be Yena's garage, which held all her brother's old instruments.

Things Yena has said: "You guys wanna see me do a backflip into my bed?" "I have this new mix of drinks I wanna try. Come try it with me, please~?" "I literally came to class five minutes late because I almost ran over a squirrel... How is that my fault?"

Kim Chaewon 00' Liner | Lead Guitarist Chaewon, the so-called 'responsible mother' of all three girls, had always been the partier who took care of all their friends. She would stop them from drinking too much on school nights, have one drink as she was usually their designated driver, and put them into bed if they were too out of it.

Funny enough, Chaewon and Winter had been friends during university due to their similar appearances but soon drifted apart. Chaewon met all the girls at the party only because she was holding Yena's hair up after a long night of drinking and took care of the three afterward.

Things Chaewon has said: "Pabo-ya, I told you not to drink so much. Now you're throwing up like your lungs are about to come out." "You guys know you're not paying me to be your driver... right?" "This is so embarrassing. Wony, please teach Yujin how to use the formula for her physics class."

Jang Wonyoung 04' Liner | Lead Keyboard, Rhythm Guitar, Maknae The baby giant of the group, Wonyoung, was known for her studious ways. She held herself to a high standard in school all the time. An old friend of hers suggested to go to the first day of school party Yena held so she can come out of her shell, and she did.

Wonyoung had her first drinks, parties, and every fun experience you could think of with these girls. She was also the one who initially suggested forming a ban when they were fooling around in Yena's garage as a joke, but two weeks later, they turned it into a serious thing.

Things Wonyoung has said: "Guys, I have an exam tomorrow morning, I can't party too hard." 3 hours later: "The professor loves me. He'll let me take a makeup exam." "If two plus two is four, and five times five is twenty-five, then you and Y/n equal what kind of fuckary?"

[txicrose]

Heavily dissociated rant, if it doesn't make sense that's why.

I feel like a stranger thrown into the life and body of someone you didn't know, just had a similar ish personality, who somehow managed to hold onto some of the strangers memories.

I know my friends and family, but I feel like I don't really have a relationship with them even though I know things about them. Like body swapping with a random stranger and not being able to tell anyone so you have to pretend to have relationships that you don't truly have.

I don't know who I am. I don't know what I look like. I don't know my name or pronouns. I don't know my gender or sexuality. I don't know my interests or anything. I don't know my aesthetic or fashion taste.

I've lost everything and I'm trying to be the same person they were before me, but I'm failing. We're not functioning at all. We're not present anymore, always dissociating. We remember nothing. We're losing more and more of our self.

I literally can't remember anything. I can't have a connection with anything. I remember nothing, I feel nothing. We also feel too much, but only ever distressing emotions. I don't know the last time anyone was happy.

The emotions are distressing and scary and overwhelming yet so barely there. About anything from being disabled, to being dissociated, to having arfid, feeling hopeless and without a meaning, to being so everything right now that I'm a horrible partner. Constant, daily distress over something, while feeling nothing about the distressing thing.

We want to get better, be better people, take better care of ourself. But we can't even be grounded enough to be able to do the work. We are too dissociated to even pay attention to what we need to work on. We don't take care of our disabled body because we're not there/in it. We're not getting better. We're only getting worse.

I've showered once in the past 3 or so weeks. The only time we changed our clothes was when we worked. We literally swapped between TWO outfits for 3 weeks. We had barely put deodorant on in that period. We went swimming and didn't wash our hair until a week later. I don't think we're eating enough, I don't know what we've been eating but I can't be surprised if it's nowhere near enough.

All we do is work 2-3 days a week, dissociate in bed, and go to appointments that I'm not even mentally present for. We can't even think. It's literally painful trying to write this because we're so dissociated we can't think or even see the keyboard and what we're writing. We can't follow what we're trying to say.

We have no fucking friends. Like at all. We have our boyfriend/partner system, who lives with us but works 5 days a week. We don't have time to talk or do things together. I have our mother ig but not really. We can't talk about 99% of this and we only talk in general when we going to/from work together and pick my boyfriend up from work. I could never tell her any of this.

It's been almost two weeks since we've seen our therapist and we still have a little over a week before we see him again. He doesn't even know all of this. He doesn't know pretty much anything about my life or brain. We're currently working on dbt skills but I can’t even function enough to do mindfulness homework once a day. And it's mainly my fault he doesn't know shit because I never talk about anything but I might just get him to read this.

We don't know what to do anymore and we're so fucking alone. We need fucking help. We can't live like this. We'd probably be terrified if we could feel anything. Part of us is scared. Something needs to change. Whether that's someone else in the brain stepping in and taking over, or someone in the outside world doing something. We don't even know where we need to start. I need a break and I'm so tempted to use one of the littles positive trigger shows to get one. Fuck. Life sucks.

[memberment]

Genesis

12:06 oh my god I have once again woken up too early and this time it was not on purpose.

TRYING to speed run some of this pre-work. Updates later but GOOD MORNING

9:12 I am back and working on two chapters at the same time. BECAUSE I NEED TO CONCEPT A DAMN ANGEL FOR HEIDI AND KENNY TO FIGHT. I CONCEPTED ONE AT WORK BUT THEY CAN'T FIGHT THIS ONE LMFAO

Also I need a flashback for Kyle so I'm literally just playing procrastinator olympics as I pingpong between two chapters. I might work on Bound for a bit tonight though, ngl. Because I am 21 chapters completed deep and 71.9k words in on this and Bound has THREE CHAPTERS READY AND BOUND HAS INTERMISSION CHAPTERS SO TECHNICALLY TWO LIKE. I WANT THE OPTION TO NOT WRITE WHEN MY SEMESTER STARTS!!!! (It's not like I'd even follow that but STILL.)

Also next line up is prob not gonna have a fic for every day, much to my own disappointment. Because school literally starts in FOURTEEN DAYS. and I only have four things ready to go. And I am determined to finish Genesis before my semester starts. Like I'm definitely gonna take a solid break from this series before I start Revelation, because that is going to be A LOT. (I do not think I will be taking much of a break between Revelation and Karma though, ngl. Bc each part starts, like, immediately after the previous one, but I KNOW how Revelation ends and Karma starts already and it has me LOSING MY SHIT. LIKE THE ENDING OF FUCKING REVELATION IS INSANEEEEEEE. And I hope not a soul sees it coming despite it being RIGHT THERE.)

I am sad though because I did want to start on Princess of Fire and get to a point where regular posts can pull up on that because I genuinely really like the concept and like, fine, I'm getting better at writing (and it is SOT and I do not wanna post a shit SOT fic on Wintergrew's internet) as I go so maybe holding off isn't a huge deal BUT I WANT Y'ALL TO FUCKING SEE THE VISION‼️‼️‼️

I honestly wish I could livestream my brain does that make sense LMFAO

2:24: Tears just rolled down my cheeks at the realization that we have not had one goddamn (exclusively) Bebe centric chapter and I am trying to write chapter 24. OH MY GOD. I can't even give her a full filler chapter because I wan't my filler to be like LIGHT HEARTED AND FUN. I CAN'T JUST STRETCH OUT LIKE 3K WORDS OF HER JUST EXISTING IN THE MIDDLE OF ANY OF THIS. LIKE WE ARE TEN CHAPTERS DEEP INTO THE WORSE SHIT. OH MY GOD I HATE IT HERE. Like I actually was just scrolling through the chapter titles and was like 'oh we have Stan! We have Craig! We have duhduhduhduhduh.' AND I GOT TO THE BEGINNING AND THERE IS NO FUCKING BEBE CHAPTER?????? WHAT THE FUCK! (I literally did this with Butters in Dandelion and had the same reaction why is it that all of my favorite fucking characters I do this to???? HOW. Like, we get more of her in Revelations but WHAT! THE! FUCK!)

So yeah, 24 is gonna be Bebe, despite me kinda wanting it to be Tam or Wendy.

Also I'm reading 'You're Not Mine Anymore' AGAIN (because even though I said I hated it, that chapter has literally embedded itself in my brain. Like, it's so fucking disturbing and so sad and I actually wanna throw myself out my window every time I think about it LMFAO)

2:55 I changed one sentence in this chapter and now I'm actually gonna sob. I hate it here.

4:30 I got distracted and watched tik toks since my last update, specifically spending like an entire ten minutes absolutely geeking over the 1970's gymnastics olympics and I am now back at my keyboard. I got a very specific bit of inspiration and it is fucking TERRIFYING.

Anyways. RIP Craig. Like seriously, dude is going THROUGH IT. This is what I get for ignoring him for like a week and a half (two weeks? ish. I'm settling on ish, here. A VAGUE, BUT NOT VERY LONG AMOUNT OF TIME) of their time when he is actively losing his shit.

I think killing him and Tweek off at this point is more of a mercy killing than anything on my part why did I do this to them I am so sad. AND THE FACT THAT THEIR DEATHS IS WHAT THIS WHOLE FIC GOT CONCEPTED AROUND IS FUCKING INSANE. LIKE I WROTE THEIR DEATH SCENE AND WAS LIKE WELP GOTTA WRITE A MAGICAL GIRL FIC.

And now I'm slowly but surely on my way to that chapter and annotating and writing in bits and pieces of THAT chapter and I'm like wow. Wow oh wow. Might need a hallucinations tag. Hypothetically, of course. But also hypothetically, would the hallucinations tag apply to this if said hallucinations are questionably real? Hypothetically. Anyways, when Fall From Grace gets posted, y'all are gonna need like sixteen and a half TWs.

And now I'm off to go write this fucking MESS of a chapter that is the Bebe chapter because I STILL DIDN'T WRITE IT. AND I AM OFFICIALLY DOWN TO THIRTEEN DAYS.

Another hypothetical, while I'm still here before I leave again and don't update until god knows when. Do you guys think I can finish 20 chapters in 13 days? Like, that would be approximately 60-80k words. Do y'all think I got this? And I'm typing that and realizing I thought the wc for this was gonna be like 100k and am now realizing I'm at 74k and just wow. ANYWAYS. LATER. Hope y'all are enjoying my extra long screams into the void tonight.

4:55 Black Swan cries out violently in the background as I realize I have just made five out of six, the quintet is now a trio, and Red is just there not giving a fuck. My head is in my hands. My jaw is dropped. I fear I may be evil for writing this.

May the gods I don't believe in help us all.

(I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN THIS MANY MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS. MY MAX HAS BEEN TWO SO FAR. THIS IS WHY DESOLATION ENDED THE WAY IT DID BECAUSE I FEARED THIS.)

Eh, fun fact while I'm here again. The original ending of Desolation, everyone was gonna die except for Kyle.

But wow OH WOW. Yeah, this is why I don't write major character death.

It is 6:26 am and I just posted An Answer chapter in attempts to procrastinate this horrible ending further and the realization has dawned on me that I am now involved in the mystery because I'm rereading and I have no idea WHAT THE FUCK is going on. I'm laughing so hard over this. God, how two months can really slip away is insane.

6:49: guys I'm rereading this and I am actually thrown off by my own writing like I fully forgot how off-putting this fic is supposed to be BECAUSE of what happened and why things are like this and I actually fell into my own fucking trap. I'm crying this is so funny HELP

7:02: not me happily reading and giggling over platonic twendy fluff and just getting smacked in the face by shit getting very real very fast. this is wild.

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

Midnight, you have lost. You need to get it through your thick metal skull that actions and words have consequences. You have no one now because of those actions and words.

If you had even an ounce of respect for /Poppy/ you would make an /effort/ to call them by their respective pronouns/AND/ stop dead naming them (if that is what Sun/Sunny is to them). If you had an ounce of respect, you would have actually taken /care/ of the baby AI /you/ created simply because your sibling left him to you. Would it be the same if Poppy called Eclipse their son? If that baby AI was literally your nephew instead of a baby brother?

If you had /any/ respect for either of them, you wouldn't be here: sad, alone, broken, and likely to never see anyone like them again. Death is too good for you. Death is the easy way out. So let me make this known, Live. Live with this event on your consciousness knowing you could have had something better but /you/ were the one who broke it. Live as you watch other families go by and remember that you could've been happy like them if /you/ hadn't broken that chance.

Live knowing that any love you once had from those who considered you brothers is /gone/. And it was /you/ who caused it because that is the truth. You are the problem.

Maybe, in the distant future you won't be but here in the present - you are nothing but a sad, broken, and pitiful person. If you want a fucking chance to change yourself, get off your ass and face the problems inside of yourself first. Or else you will not get fair.

From here on out, you are alone. Even if us anons are around. Even if Poppy's spirit gets a physical body again. You likely will never /ever/ have an ounce of respect or trust from us. You. Are. Alone.

So, Moondrop, what are you going to do? Continue to sit there and waddle in your own made misery: drowning in the sorrow that you created. Or are you going to get up, and live. Get up and actually respect your late sibling's wishes even when they do not love you like a brother anymore? Get up and start working on your own internal problems so that if you do meet others who grow on ya like family, the cycle of abuse never starts again?

What

Is

Your

Choice?

Midnight: Gone, gone, gone he's GONE!

//Midnight laughs brokenly and pushes the computer off the desk, making it crash on the ground and shatter. Then he turns to the keyboard and slams it against the desk too.//

Gotta block it out, gotta block it out. Can't do it, I can't hear him crying...

[bluelancelion]

So👏

I'm watching Merlin for the first time and I'm absolutely floored by it and by how much I fell in love with Merthur and the Knights, so here's a couple of Modern! AU that popped in my mind.

Rugby Champion/Nerd AU

- Probably a classic, I'd be surprised if ao3 wasn't plenty of it.

- Of course Arthur is Captain of the rugby team and of course Merlin is the guy sitting in the library all day.

- Don't ask me how they meet don't ask me how they fall in love, they just do

- Arthur's father is the school's principal

- And for this reason there's some people hating on Arthur cause they believe he has privileges

- Spoiler: he doesn't (or denies any of it when his father offers some) but due to this he finds hard to trust people

- Hence he trusts only his teammates aka true friends aka the squad!

- And Merlin of course

- Literally Heartstopper but make it #merthur with gay! Merlin and #bi-and-still-in-the-closet Arthur

Musicians AU

- Merlin goes to a public school and no one knows he's literally a world wide known classic musician

- Idk how don't ask

- Arthur is like the popular guy who plays guitar and all girls love him yadda yadda

- he has a band (must have the boys in every merthur fic sorry not sorry)

- Leon is the bassist, Percy the drummer, Gwaine the second guitar, Elyan is the dj and plays the keyboard, while Lancelot is the singer

- Again don't ask why don't ask how but Merlin and Arthur fight or argue and end up talking ever since

- Maybe Arthur was teasing him about knowing nothing about music

- Merlin silently snickering like *You dare to fight me with your half cheap-ass rock band when rich people spend thousands to listen me play at operas lmao you fool*

- But for some reason he can't tell him that or reveal his secret or else he'll be forced to change school (I dunooooo)

- So Arthur has no idea Merlin is a genius at music

- But.

- He notices Merlin has a perfect pitch, and something like- He can't explain it but Merlin has something with music, like a touch, so he invites him over to listen to his band

- All band members fall in love with him and side with him against Arthur when the two have their - now friendly - banters

- Bros being bros - Dudes being Dudes

- Idk what I was going for with this but IMAGINE WHEN THEY FIND OUT

- Like

- Imagine this fragile boi all cute smiles and sassy remarks and Arthur goes into protective mode cause he develops a crush-

And like, Arthur has a rock band so they look cool and they don't fear anyone in case Merlin gets bullied or something

And then they see him, for the first time-

Wearing a black/navy blue suit that costs thousand of dollars, walking in this giant golden opera with royal red drapes-

And he starts playing the piano for all these rich people and he's absolutely phenomenal

And suddenly Merlin fears Arthur won't be friends with him anymore or he'll fear he's gonna think Merlin is too "marvelous" to enjoy their little rock band

- But in reality Merlin loves them and he loves Arthur and Arthur honestly can't look at Merlin and see any other man than the guy he's been teasing and has argued with for all this time,

- aaand I don't know where I wanted to go with this as well lmao

Feel free to drop any completed fic link in the comments pls I am desperate :)

[just-a-normal-regretter]

Dagnabit now I wanna write magical Odd shenanigans. But. I have so much to write.

So a few things that would happen. Probably.

The reason Odd takes Kiwi with him to Kadic is because it hurts to be without him. Literally. Being too far away from your magical animal companion would hurt. Minor aches at first but with a slow escalation. (I. I just like angst sometimes. But Odd gets pretty far away from Kiwi at times. So... Connection with issues involving distance.)

Odd can only transform with Kiwi. Luckily Xana doesn't know shit about magic otherwise the zombie thing would have been. So much worse.

Jim's companion isn't dead. He never had one. He had a different kind of magic thing. He can't transform anymore because his prerequisite broke. This didn't hurt him. Odd is jealous. Jim refuses to talk about it because I refuse to clarify. I don't know and neither will anybody else. (Little does Odd know that Kiwi will live. So long. Kiwi will only die when Odd does because I don't like angst that much.)

The Lyoko gang finding out is like. Worst case scenario to Odd. It means things got bad enough that Xana finding out is a minor concern. Once Xana is gone Odd will tell them but until then better hope it never comes up.

Odd has no idea what he's supposed to use his powers for, or even what all they are. All he knows is that he sees the future sometimes. (It felt wrong in Lyoko. It wasn't set up right. It shouldn't freeze him in place. Jermie did him a favour getting rid of it in this verse.)

Jim figures out Odd has magic, because he literally feels like so much of the stuff (Odd can feel the remnants on him too but has no clue other. All Odd knows is that this is the adult he trusts most ever). He mentors Odd while explaning nothing. (He might remember the returns he might not. He refuses to talk about it. Because of course he does.) Odd questions why Jim is teaching him all these cool flips and balance tricks that can double as self defence. Odd gets no answers.

Odd does have a magic weapon. It is literally a gun attatched to his wrist. He is thrilled when he figures it out.

Odd's magic kind has a downside. If he doesn't transform often enough he gets stuck as a cat for a while. A stray cat is frequently seen roaming the school grounds. A friendly thing that Jim refuses to try to get rid of. He brings people he likes (and Kiwi) mice sometimes. Sissi got a live one once (it was cute and clean, and she got it a nice new home because mice are cute. This one was friendly).

(I'm gonna send another ask in soon, I just don't wanna lose this. Also hi I am both the original anon and the magical Jim one. I am just shy.)

Howdy anon, I'm sorry that it took a bit to get back to this. Life has been a rollercoaster of emotions and my computer is not very cooperative with its keyboard so it's been annoying trying to type on it when it likes to either double input or eat my keyboard inputs in general haha

I'm marking this with a 'read more' just to quote the second half of the asks so I don't do a back-to-back answer yeah

I am also hoping this works and it doesn't just eat an ask again (cause I'm pretty sure it did to another ask a while back lol)

Magical Odd from the shy Anon part 2: electric boogaloo.

I think, depending on how the Lyoko group finds out (and when in the timeline) things will go differently and reactions will range several different directions. I haven't decided how and when that will go down. But if they find out the hard way with a bunch of stress involved there will likely be hard feelings. All I know is if Xana finds out Xana will use the cat instincts against Odd. Xana refuses to fuck with actual magic that has a chance of breaking the computer.

Odd does not know if magic messes with machines, and so long as Aelita is tied to the computer he refuses to find out. No accidental fucking up Aelita for him. (He worries about this a lot less when they find out she is a girl that got trapped and not actually an AI.)

In this, Odd would probably be magic to fight something horrific. The sheer terror is how he finds out he can temporarily turn his friends into Lyoko form. He can only do it one at a time (some focus required, and more than one is super hard. Technically possible, but by golly does he hate it to the point of refusal) and it makes the Magic Lyoko form really frilly. Jermie refuses.

Odd's powers have no rhyme or reason. He doesn't know why. Jim has no clue either. (The reason is because I like the anime trope of pulling out new powers as required. Odd's unique magic power is literally adaptability. He can't repeat half the magic tricks he pulls off and it drives everyone nuts. Xana would extra avoid messing with this bullshit, specifically because of the uncontrolled adaptability.)

Odd's parents know. Odd's family sends Kiwi's food frequently. Jim turns a blind eye.

The reason one of Odd's unchanging powers is seeing the future is because if you predict an event you can adapt better.

Once Odd starts facing his threat the entire school politely pretends not to notice. The one power Odd did not get was the ability to be unrecognized. They all work together to gaslight gatekeep girlboss the world away from his identity. Eventually Jermie and Aelita hack magic just enough to get him a mask and everybody breathes a sigh of relief. (Magic allowed it because it really likes these two.)

Ironically. Jermie would be the easiest one to magical backup. Odd would easily be able to get another backup if he got Jermie first.

Maybe Xana and Franz's shenanigans messed up reality enough to let some demons into their world or something. All the supercomputer stuff Jermie and Aelita pulled (ironically) starts to repair the rift. Something like that. I haven't decided yet IDK.

Anyway. I bet Sissi is like. Odd's biggest fan but only in costume.

The Lyoko gang has no idea the entire school knows. Jermie has suspicions. Odd is thinking he has the perfect disguise. Odd's clothes don't even change besides to accommodate the tail and limb changes. (Cat legs cat legs cat legs. Idk why just. Cat legs seems like a fun concept to have baby Odd adapt too.)

I will immediately put out there that juggling stories is rough so I feel you anon. It's fun to try to tack on more concepts to the ideas that come into your brain but when it comes to trying to write them all out it gets messy haha

The Kiwi attachment is pretty neat, as well as the general cat transformation as a con for not using the powers. I do wonder if Odd can find ways to use his powers in secret without worrying about revealing himself on accident to people who don't know

The ambiguity of Jim in general is hilarious and it feels pretty in character. He's willing to help but only so much when it may reveal pieces of his past that he doesn't want to recall/explain.

Sissi getting a pet out of this mess is also cute ;-;

The magic being constant adaptability but not really helping Odd (beyond Future Flash) is so chaotic it's great. He gets to whip out the 'necessary power of the day' to defeat the monster of the week and it doesn't really register to him that 'oh my power isn't really hiding me is it'.

I like to think the gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss shenanigans happening post-reveal is just the Warriors taking it upon themselves not to really tell Odd that he's not being subtle anymore and it's getting out of hand. The rest of the school joining in to help piece by piece is also p funny (and sorta lines up with what I wanted to do in 'Trio are AI' so I'm always going to be down for the school to support one way or another) and Jeremie being the only sane one re: 'oh other people are realizing this too' -> convincing Aelita to help him figure out magic so they can help Odd is so good.

Thank you for the asks anon and I'm sorry it's been too long with replying n all

I'm slowly trying to get stuff figured out and in the meantime inspiration is always iffy given my hyperfixation is like, never consistent enough haha

Still down to take asks/answer some speculations behind my mentioned AUs (given I've seen people still liking the other ones in the meantime lmaoo)

o7

[goldenimpact]

hELLO IS ANYONE OUT THERE????

OKAY HI hELLO  FIRST OFF I HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL NOW

THAT THE EVIL WHATEVER I AM HAS FALLEN AND GCANT GET UP COMMERCIAL

SOMETHIN SEOMTHIGN DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN THE ANSWER IS YES I GOT SHOVES TO THE FLOOR RECENTLY AND THIS FUCKIN BRUISE ISNT FADING FUNNNY HAHA OK PLEASENTRIRSSE ARE DONE

UH IM CATHERINE, MOD-SAN, GOLD, whatever they're callin me nowadays holy shit dude my hands are shakin like crazy

they've had me literally cleaning house PRETTY MUCH AS SOON AS I RECOVERED all work no play makes jack a dull boy thats me IM jack damn it i can't tell if i've eveolved into  a live-in housekeeper or some sort of roomaate and the paymetnt si s that i get to keep my lifeand also i REALLY need to move my keyboard over or get the window to leave the screen cause i can't blind type it just ain't happenin my leg's jitterering like hell BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS IM ALIVE YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but i have absolutely NO CLUE how ;long THAS gonna last BBUT the great news is that ive finally been able to sit at my dangf computer and and actual;ly TYOOUCH ANFD LOOK AT IT ive practically been buried in all the freezers BUT ANYWAYS GOD MY HANDSA THEY STING SO FUCKING IABAD D ALKl ANYWAYS IM ALIVE IM STILL HERE IM TRYING?????????? TO GET BACK BUT EVERYONE HERE IS UHH NOT GOOD TO PUT IT LIGHTLY ITS TERRIFYIN OVER HERE BUT IM SENDING MY WELL WISHES THAT EVERYONE IS OKAY OVER THERE AND YOU SURVIVED WHETER THE HECK ANGR MY BIG SDIS MUST"VE SBUBJECTED YALL TOO BEACSE SHE IS FUCKING PISSSEEED LATELY IM GENUUNINLY WORRIED FOR OURLIVES LEVEL THERES SO MANY FIGHTS AND COMING-OUT-ABOUT-HER-LEGEND-OF-VIOLENCE STORY AND THE SHOOTIGN REVENTLY AND POINT IS THE LEGAL STUFF MIGHT GET RESOLVED OKAY?????? DADS MAGIC PROTAG POWERS OR WHATER APAPRENTLY HE KNOWS EVREYONE PERSON ON THE PLANET ITS GODDAMN WITCHCARAFT BUT MOMS DROPPIN LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY BBBBBBUYT OTS HER BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK AND WERE GONNA TRY AND TAKE ME OUTSIDE AND SEE IF I EXPLODE IN THE SUNLIGHT SO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH THANKS FOR EVERYTHIGN I LOVE YOU GUYS ILL TRYT TO FUCKIN REACTIVATE ALL MY ACCOUNTS ALL A BAJILLION OF THEM APPARENTLY I WAS ONE CRASY AKJSFI KID PLEAASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON MY BI G SIS WAKES UP SOON IF SHE HEARS ME IM GETTTIN IT I HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHATS GOIN ON ON YOUR SIDE CAUSE NO ONE IS SAYIN JACK SHIT BADUM TSSHH BUT I GOT  MY SHIT COMIN AT LIKE 9 AM RIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY VERY MYSTERIOUS NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY DO ANYMORE MEDS AND IF I KICIK THE BUCKET AT LEAST I FUCKING STAYED BABY YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ALSO IM NOT DRUNK WE DONT DRINK IN THIS HOUSE EVER BUT I DEFINITYL NEEDS A LIL HELP IN LIKE ANY SORT OF MEANIN NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE FUCKIN REMEMBERS ANYTHING IN ANY SOR TOF WAY FOR ANY SORT OF THING ITS AN ACTUAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHOSE CALLIN OR TOUCHIN SHIT OR WHAT TALL THIS SHTI IS IN THE HOUSE AND FRANKLY IM TERRIFIED CAUSE EVREYONE LEAVES POR PASSES OUT BEFORE I CAN GET A CLEAR ANSWER AND AND ADN COLD WAR INTELLIGENCE WHATHER NEWS STORY OLD POPS HERE IS PUTTIN ON TV ANYWAYS LOVE YOU GUYS STAY SAFE CALL OUT IF YOU SEE ME IN THE WILDS SOMEDAY BUYYEYEEE

WAIT I JUST REMEMBRED BIG SIS IS GONNE DESTROY SHIT SOON SONSONSOON SHIT HSHISTHSHIT OK ANYWAYS ERVYTHIN ONLINE LOOKS OKAY FROM WHERE I CAN SEE IT IN MYSETRUOS VPN LAND AND IM GOIN THROUGH MY COMP RIGHT NOW BUT EVREYON IN OUR HOUSE RECOGNIZES THE DISCORD SYMBOL PROBABLY>>>?????? SO IM TRYIN TO FIND ALL OTHER CONTACTS BUT ITS JUST A BUNCH OF EMAILS DDDDUDE I JUST HAD TO LET YALL KNOW WE'RE ALIEV HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE WELL LOVE YALL EVER IF YOU DONT BELIEVE THAT ASTY SAFE WATCH OUT FOR FUKCING PUNCHES OR SIDESWEEPS AND MY BIG SISSS KILLING BLOW AND THE FCKKGNGI  SWORD ON TOP OF HER BOOKSELG OR THE LITTLE GUN THING IN HER LCOSET WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN IN HER ROOM ANYMROE ANYWASY DONT DIE OUT THERE LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEACE OUT BURY ME UNDER A BLUE SKY WITH ALL MY SHIT IIM HANDING  DOWN WHATEVR THE ITTY BITTY NOT SO BITTY NEICE WANTS LIL PRINCESS LILLY HAACKER SCAMMER HUSTLER SECOND LEGEND OF VIOLENCE IN THE MAKIN IM GONNA FUCKIN PASS OUT I HAVE NO  IDEA OF FUCKIN ANYTHIN THATS HAPPPENIN HERE EVERERR GOD CAN I TALK TO ANYONE THAT ISNT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD THAT THIGNS I HAVE HEARSD ABOUT THE PWOPLE ROUND HERE any ewysbans m y hands are shak in and breakin and crankin love yall stay safe dont fall into a ditch like me ever again mMWAHH TEDDIE IF YOURE OUT I STILL OWE YOU THAT FUCKIN LETTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[c3p-mo]

.

so I most likely have MS

It could be just something else wrong with my brain or spinal cord still can't be properly seen until late Jan, probably can't get the MRI until Feb but the current symptoms and ones from previous years add up to been having it

optic neuritis and uhthoff’s syndrome is the name for what I've been dealing with since July and it's only now somewhat getting 'better'. I can see much better for much longer but still have blindness nonstop and the daily headaches. For the last two weeks I couldn't be on a phone or see a screen for longer than 5 mins without pain and nonstop flashes. Can't even read too long or my eyes just stop functioning. It's a strange thing to experience. And it's the usual first sign of MS.

I also had a small bad fall last month and it was bad enough that I have a complete ACL tear, so surgery is pending. Seeing the doc about it hopefully soon to gauge time frame

I spent all of November on the couch cuz I can't walk and see properly. I really couldn't do anything but it kinda helped in a way. I'm spitballing that one of my "most likely is MS" triggers is stress, so once my partner came back and I'm not physically alone anymore I withdrew from... everything really.

Logged out of everything, muted and disabled anything with a notification, friends unfortunately (whichever ones I think I have left). But in general I really needed to hit pause, questionable that this was a way to go about it but I do feel less stressed a bit. I mean I have to be slow atm with my leg, it literally hurts to try and play games/be on PC and phone, also too broke to do anything but checkout books at the library(which I like to do anyways) so can't do much; my vision has definitely improved better in the last few weeks than the last four months so tiny lining? I'm honestly only here now cuz I 1. forgot insomnia meds and 2. can watch a stream and touch a keyboard without a painful headache after so long and 3. Can actually SEE

I'm rambling at this point and only for myself really. I just finally feel like myself again for the first time in a very long and newest personal lowest year in my life. I'm so exhausted that I can't even bother with wanting to die atm. Almost funny that my brain is trying to do that for me anyways lol. But I know this one normal moment is brief. i think my headspace will be much better as my appt gets closer and i might get back to my online presence with it but for now I'm still thinking about staying off things help.

I am still very tired of trying to be 'normal' and of trying to function through it all. I'm tired of deteriorating every passing year and masking all the chronic pain with no valid name but now I'm closer to some proper and correct reason for it all. At the very least I can get handicap parking privilege and a true medical weed pass. Maybe an eyepatch would look good on me? Using mobility aids with less guilt? Idk

comforting prospects in hard times