#i liked it a lot at first but i dont think i like it that much anymore

[landiary]

privacy ☆ lee heeseung

pairing stepbro!hee x afab!reader

genre smut.

warning dry humping, masturbating, choking, face fucking (m&f), cowgirl. spanking, overstimulation, squirt, creampie. not proofread.

a/n based in a dream i had, i LITERALLY been writing this during a whole month and finally it’s done hope u like itttt

words 3,5k

in your house, privacy was not something that your parents considered important, so you always fight demanding your privacy, where you would find shouts from your mother who said "do you have something to hide from us?" or from your father, using the same words as always "dont even think about bringing a guy home."

so you always ended up in your room with the only shoulder you could cry on, heeseung’s, your stepbrother. there were no problems with him, he was the most understanding and the one who always fought with you in some arguments, confronting your parents. although most of the time he was not at home, as he is an adult he work for living and can go a whole week without showing up.

his room? it was a complete mystery. since you couldn't maintain privacy with your parents, you kept it between the two of you. the only thing you knew was that he had a gaming pc, a shelf with some devilish plushies, and more things than any room would have.

it was a midnight friday, you used to call your friends to gossip, but in this case they wanted to play video games. you grabbed your laptop and turned it on, but it didn't take long for it to start working wrong. "this shit doesn't work!" you silently shouted out of respect for your parents who were already sleeping.

"please, y/n i told you to use heeseung's." your friend said via discord call. "im considering it, but if he found out he'd kill me." you laughed despite wanting to cry at the slowness of your laptop. your other friend, decided to speak, "will never find out. hes a man, thinks with his dick, not his head." was what encouraged you to hang out the discord call and go ahead.

this week was one of those where hee was gone for days, and you were ovulating specially to make bad decisions. barefoot, in front of the door of his room with a sign that said in capital letters "DO NOT ENTER", you silently entered. a scent of man's cologne was your first impression upon entering, however when you turned on the light, it left a lot to be desired. it was small, but considering that he was almost gone, it was just the right and necessary size. a small closet, a large bed, as was said before, his computer and the shelves of weird plushies.

"did it." you said to both girls. you felt weird. so comfortable in a gaming chair, clearly hearing every sound with those headphones, with such a large screen in front, dim led lights in the background.

you felt guilty, but you couldn't help but do it, so it happened about three more times.

the first day, it was to play with your friends. second day, you did the same thing, however you were so tired that you didn't make it to your room, so you ended up sleeping in heeseung's bed.

the third day was sunday. your friends were responsible women, so they weren't going to play video games on a sunday night, but you decided to play the sims 4 all night. you lost track of time, but you got bored quickly and deleted your game so as not to leave a trace that you were there.

the headache was present the moment you left the computer, and under the dim lights you began to explore heeseung's room as if it were an escape room. at this point, you didn't give a shit about privacy.

his closet had the most delicious smell in the world: man. all his closet were messy and the drawers even more so. the desk was something you had been looking at for a while from sitting in front of the pc, but you never realized the mess of pens and meaningless sketches that were lying around. you wanted to give him a helping hand and clean him up but the idea was that he would never realize you were there.

finally, the plushies shelf. how is it that a man can collect this shit? you may ask. he was a special guy, because his plushies were disgustingly horrible that they were even scary. you grabbed one, and you were surprised at how soft the fur was. "now i understand why he likes them." you said to yourself.

you don't know if it was that you felt high by his cologne, but a not very holy idea came to your mind after touching the plushie. still with that weird ass bear in your hands, you walked to his bed, threw yourself face down and began to look at it. it was a bear with sharp teeth and red eyes. you already knew what you had to do.

you leaned the stuffed animal's face against the bed, not intending to see it, and knelt on it. you gasped from the pressure, but you quickly got used to it. you had nowhere to hold onto, so you went to the edge of the bed and grabbed onto the bed frame platform.

the swaying of your hips against the soft texture of that stuffed bear made you stop panting and start moaning moderately. for more excitement, you lifted your shirt leaving your bare breasts to crash against the cold atmosphere of that room. one hand holding your trembling body and the other massaging one of your tits, which had a sensitive nipple.

your legs started to get tired and your body started to ask for more. bored of continuing to rub yourself with the plushie, you pushed it aside and lay down while putting your hands inside your panties. you were clearly soaking wet. "so fuckin sorry, hee." followed by a moan, ready not to move until you cum undone on his bed.

since heeseung had returned home, you didn't go back to his room. that day you preferred not to remember. you almost took the risk of him finding you, because it was the same day he came home, but you woke up to the sounds of cats fighting on the ceiling and you were able to get back to your room sooner.

he never said anything to you, he didn't complain about anything, but it was weird for you to see how he was inside your room without even knocking on the door. "come with me” he said straight and firm. "hee, did something happen?"

"don't make me repeat myself." as he came out of your room, you ran after him.

in just seconds you regretted everything you did because knowing how he is, for some reason you thought he could have noticed. and yes, you take responsibility because you knew he was very angry.

when you reach the door of his room, he opens it leaving you the pass free, two steps were enough to make him also inside and close the door very tightly behind him.

"why don't you act surprised?" he asks, sitting in front of the pc without even looking at you. "why should I be?" you answer with another question. nerves get on you, and you had flashbacks of THAT night because of how your legs were shaking right now. you couldn't do anything because of the shame and guilt.

heeseung leaned back on the gaming chair, which by the way, is reclining. "first, i realized that some things weren't in place. i thought it was simply cuz i get home high as fuck, but i decided to trust my instinct." he paused before continuing. "do you like dim lights? cuz i think you weren't smart enough to notice a very important detail with the lights off." when you looked up your eyes were terrified to see a red light flickering from a small camera.

"heeseung, i-" he interrupted you. "i watched everything, y/n." you didn't want to maintain eye contact but you couldn’t take your eyes off him, you knew perfectly well that on his screen was that fucking image of sunday night. he got up from his chair and slowly approached you. "can't believe my stepsister turned out into a slutty whore."

with a pre-assembled cigarette, he took a puff and blew the smoke in your face. "instead of doing it in your room, you needed to do it in someone else's bed?" purposely set the ironic tone in the question. he put the cigarette in his mouth and he threw you on your back to the bed, without any kind of softness. "you know what's the best thing about all of this?" your legs separated by heeseung’s knee, which wasn't that far from brushing against your crotch. "that fucking bear still has your scent." imagining him smelling the bear made you feel like a patch of moisture was making on your panties. "think i'll have to teach you manners, don't i?"

your parents weren't at home, it was just you and him, so the silence became noisy when your thoughts prevented you from answering him. heeseung’s hands gently lifted your chin, worthlessly forcing you to look him in the eye. "i know how you feel, i wouldn't be able to look you in the eye either if i had done what you did," his thumb moved from your chin to your jugular. "but i didn't cuz i do respect your privacy."

"stop talking about privacy." your demanding tone surprised him a bit, which made him laugh wryly. "god, y/n... you do it on purpose, don't you?" considering that his hand was on your neck, he pressed down. "you're a big girl... big girls take responsibility for what they do, right?" your throat wouldn't let you speak so you just nodded your head.

the image of what came next did not displease you at all. you took responsibility for your mistakes even though you enjoyed it more than in your own bed. he was furious, all he saw was red, you could tell by the way he spoke, the way he was grabbing you, and how his lips moved desperately over yours. following the kiss didn't help to diminish his strength over you, but it did help a bulge in his pants to grow.

his knee subconsciously touched your crotch. heeseung noticing this, he lowered his knee from the bed and stopped kissing you, but both were still connected by your saliva. "can't let you have the same pleasure again, princess, you were very disrespectful." he kept his hand on your neck at all time, but then decided to wipe away the saliva dripping from your mouth with his thumb. "how about you focus on me?"

roles had changed. he was sitting on the bed in his unzipped jeans, while you kept your sanity to endure the knee pain. heeseung never let you go. after a "can you do that for me, pretty?" and accessing, the two of you continued to connect to each other through touch.

his hand grabbed yours to make you touch his marked bulge. was it necessary? no, you knew how to pull and suck it very well. but this isn't about what you know or don't know, it's about your mistake and making him feel good. no matter how much your hand was guided, the sensation of its length made your mouth water. he was big as fuck, you knew it very well.

heeseung was panting from movements he made himself, until he finally let you do it by yourself. besides the fact that it was thick, you could feel how hard it was under the thin fabric, so it didn't take long for you to release it. it bounced and slammed into hee's abdomen, making him shudder. his pink tip had precum, which you decided to make disappear with your tongue. the tip fits, the rest didn't.

the only help he gave you was to grab your hair so it wouldn't bother you while you were doing yhe blowjob.

you kept making circles on his tip, but since it also needed more attention at the base, you used your hand. "just like that." you smiled a little when you heard that, seeing it in a way you never imagined seeing. all horny and needy, panting for a little touch.

you looked up to see him and you took a sublime scene. eyes shut, lips swollen from blocking moans, jaw clenched, heavy panting. the fact that you both must surely have been recorded by the cameras installed, turned you on even more. the lower part of your hips were humping the floor with need, need which heeseung felt. his eyes didn't open completely, yet his eyes penetrated your aura.

it did not help at all to maintain his position. his dick squirmed in your mouth and without warning painted your mouthwalls white, forcing you to swallow. "fuck..." he groaned before collapsing on his bed. you tried to do something to provoke him again, the first thing that came to your mind was to climb on his lap, but in one quick movement he got you on all fours.

your shorts weren't a hindrance for him, because the thin fabric was easy to handle. "i can tell you don't need any prep, don't you?" you seemed to be very wet from what he saw through your panties, but after knowing the size of his member you thought that it was impossible to get in there. "i have no choice but to fuck the shit out of you if you stay that quiet."

"no..." you said quickly, desperately. "no, hee, please." you weren't sure if you were going to convince him just by begging him. "i'll be a good girl from now on, but please..." an unconscious moan came out of your mouth, and the fabric was starting to bother you. "eat me out."

"and do you think you deserve it?" you could feel his powerful gaze against your ass. "no, i don't deserve it at all, but if my mouth couldn't handle that massive cock, i doubt my cunt will." heeseung's index finger went to your waistband and pulled it down. within seconds he took your place, kneeling on the floor to appreciate your drooling pussy.

"taste me." you dared to say. "keep your mouth shut." he said with the same tongue with which he began to gave you a head. unfortunately, you couldn't listen to him and keep quiet. at least not when he was doing his job so well.

the wet sound of you being devoured by the mouth of that hungry man made you even more horny. your moans threatened to come out and you scratched the sheets. you wondered if he did it with such eagerness because he had really wanted to do it for a long time or just because he felt like it. you didn't know, you didn't care, all you wanted to do was untie the knot he had created in your abdomen and release it all in his mouth.

"heeseung..." he had asked you to be quiet a while ago, but the way you said his name had his cock twitching. he kept the same speed, he was being so gentle that it was starting to get boring. you tried to rub your hips on him but it was impossible, his hands caught you to keep you still the moment you tried to give yourself more pleasure than he was giving you. without saying a word, he told you everything.

"can you go faster?" you asked in a low tone. Your face turned red as Heeseung stopped licking you and stared at you. "you see?..." you were quiet making eye contact with him. "it's not that hard to say what you want, pervert." as quickly as he could finish his sentence, he kept eating you like a fucking god, this time being much rougher and faster than last time.

it was already impossible to keep your arms steady with your body trembling from your growing orgasm. your moans hit the mattress drowning them, and the warmth he gave you began to create sweat drops falling down your forehead. "hee... fu-" you were confused. his tongue stopped being in it’s place at the moment you needed it most, you were about to cum. "what the-" heeseung lay next to you on the bed, his cock was again hard and exposed, he had nothing on his bottom part. "you wanna cum? show me how it's done."

in order not to look desperate, as much as you needed it, you decided to approach slowly. you lay on it, not lying down completely, and with your bare hands you lined up its cock in your pussy, brushing the tip. you couldn't help but let out a gasp, which had a quick response from heeseung. "don't tease stepsis." "you were literally teasing me all afternoon, i can do it too, can't i?" heeseung let out a nasal laugh wanting to cover up moans. "know your place princess. now, bounce on me."

you moved its tip a little more and then stuck it in your driveway. if his fat dickhead made you feel that tight, you didn't want to imagine what was going to happen to the rest of his cock. you threw your head back and filled yourself with courage to put the rest in. your throat built a sublime moan for the man's ears.

you had to deal with your own weight for a while, jumping on him slowly so you wouldn't get tired too quickly. you opened your asschecks so you could had more access. if heeseung hadn't eaten you out, you're sure you wouldn't be able to move that easily.

heeseung didn't take his eyes off your clothed breasts. he had both hands free until he finally decided to touch you. his right hand went to hold one of your hips, the other went to lift your baby tee, underneath that you didn't have a bra, so it was easy for your stepbrother to let your breasts free.

"if i had known you were going to be so good to me, i would have fucked you before." his two hands on your hips were a help to make a more fluid moves, also his words made you so wetter. you lied down "need you so much." you murmured over his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

the pace was frenetic, both skins colliding and moans mingling in the air. a spanking echoed throughout the room, your sensitive skin soon turned red drawing heeseung's big hand.

he felt like you were stroking him, your pussy clenched by a lot of stimulation. you sat on him again, this time increasing speed and rubbing your clitoris. "you're getting tight..." he said. you kept bouncing over him even though you were already trembling over him. he could tell you were about to cum.

"can i cum?" stared you in the eye. "please, please, can i cum? i need to." he felt your legs squeeze his hips. the hand with which you rubbed your was replaced with his, that’s was his answer. those fingers were nimble and fast, you gushed around him, dripping all over his abdomen and a little from his bed.

you lay on heeseung, resting your head on his shoulder, but the two of you were still connected. heeseung continued on his own when he saw that you were already done, following the same rhythm, but causing his tip to hit your g-spot.

"are you on the pill?" you nodded impatiently. heeseung used his strength to keep your hips still, his pelvis was constantly crashing very hard and fast against your skin, pounding into you. and you who were already sensitive because of your squirt, couldn't stop complaining with incoherent sounds coming out of your weak mouth. "hee... 's too.. much!" you cried out.

finally, he split his seed inside you, and his cock came out of you.

both of you collapsed and remained silent for a few minutes. it took you a while to realize the situation you were in. hugging your stepbrother on his bed, after the best fuck of your life.

you opened your eyes for a moment to see him, he was breathing heavily with his eyes shut. to interrupt the silence and discomfort, you decided to speak. "what am i supposed to do now?" you whispered, but it was quite audible. "don't come back in here if you don't want this to happen again." he said in a tired, raw voice. he sounded fine as fuck.

"and what if i want to repeat this moment?" you get away a little from him to have a better view of his face. he barely opened his eyes and let out a chuckle.

"take note.." he started. "next time it will be in your room."

[maybanksprincess]

seven minutes in heaven

warnings: suggestive but no actual smut, mature themes, dry humping, tongue kissing.

summary: a game of seven minutes in heaven leads to reader and jj stuck in a closet together.

pairings: childhood!bsf!jj x childhood!bsf!reader

requested by this ask (thank you anon!) i dont know much about the game, so if i got one of the steps wrong, im sorry in advance.

you and the rest of the pogues gathered together on a saturday night to drink beers, smoke weed, and play spin the bottle. typical pogue shit.

all of you were sat in a circle on the carpet in the living room floor of the chateau. there was a glass beer bottle in the middle of all seven of you.

for a half hour, the game was spin the bottle. everyone's facial expressions quickly grew bored. John B, and Sarah were talking about something totally different, Pope and Cleo gone to grab a new crate of beers.

After a few more moments of all of you staring at the wall blankly, Kiara's the first to break the awkward silence. "hey what's that game we all used to play when we were sophmores?" she asks, twirling a piece of her curly hair around her pointer finger.

after kiara speaks, jjs facial expression changes to one of interest. he thinks for a moment and then speaks, "the one where you get locked in a closet for like ten minutes?" he asks

Pope rounds the corner with a few beers tucked in his arm. Cleo not far behind him "seven minutes." he corrects, pointing a finger at him.

jj rolls his eyes at the correction and mimics a mouth with his hand, mocking his words "seven minutes" he says, trying his best to sound as much like pope as possible.

you flick the back of jjs neck, mumbling a shut up to him. he lets out a high pitched ow and rolls his eyes, but ultimately he stops his mocking.

John b turns back towards the group at the mention of the new game. "are we finally gonna play something other than spin the bottle? im kinda tired of landing on Sarah." he teases

Sarah shoves him playfully, and then turns back to the topic of conversation. "Yeah we should play, it sounds fun. how does it work?" she asks, tilting her head slightly.

Pope speaks up this time, "we spin a bottle for two people, whichever two people it lands on, they go in a closet together for seven minutes to do whatever they want." he adds with a hint of suggestion at the end of his sentence.

jj smirks and turns to look at you, memories of the last time you two played this game when you were fifteen, when you shared your first kiss.

it was the first kiss for both of you, so it was sloppy and had a lot of teeth and tongue, it was sickening to think about, but never forgotten.

jj pipes up next, "yup we can play. this games borin' anyways." he says with a shrug.

everyone else agrees and shifts themselves back into a circle on the carpet. Pope places the bottle in the middle, then darting his eyes from one pogue to another.

"so whos first?" pope speaks

jj doesn't waste a second in volunteering to go first. "me! uh- ill spin first." he says, clearing his throat. everyones eyes fly to jj, giving him a questioning look.

"dude you answered that way too fast." john b says with a growing smirk on his face, his eyes now flickering between me and jj sitting beside one another.

"dude shut up!" jj says, before reaching forward and spinning the glass bottle, he crosses his arms and sneakily crosses his fingers hoping, praying, that it lands on you.

everyones eyes are glued intensely to the bottle, the tension in the small room palpable.

eventually the bottle comes to a stop, the tip of it pointing right to your knee. jj has to hold back from jumping up and saying something like hell yeah!

he instantly stands up, holding his hand out for you to take. "cmon m'lady." he teases, and looks at you with his typical shit eating grin.

you roll your eyes and take his hand, standing up and walking to the closed closet with him.

"i bet everyone can guess what they're gonna do in that closet." john b says with a smirk, as he watches jj open the closet door and enter.

"gross! i dont even wanna think about it." kie adds on, then everyone starts to whisper about both of you in the open circle.

as you both get in the cramped closet, jj takes a seat on stacked boxes that clearly say "fragile" but he obviously doesn't seem to mind. he looks up at you still standing there awkwardly in the dimly lit space.

"seems oddly familiar, doesn't it?" he teases. your brain floods with memories of you and jj in the same situation back in sophomore year.

you both had been in this exact crammed closet, deciding you could both share you first kiss together. it was sloppy, uncoordinated, and you both were trying to figure out a comfortable spot to place your hands. it was an awkward and uncomfortable kiss, but it was stuck in your brain nonetheless.

"yeah, really familiar." you chuckle nervously, looking around, and tapping your foot on the ground. you avoid eye contact with the blonde, hoping this seven minutes would pass by quickly.

he notices your shift in mood, and he smirks. he spreads his legs and moves his arms behind his head as he speaks.

"you know, were in here for a whole seven minutes. we should put it to good use, right?" he was enjoying making you nervous, and teasing you.

when he doesn't get a response, he gently pulls you onto his lap so your straddling him. he looks up into your eyes in the dimly lit closet, with something you cant quite describe.

before you know it, your both leaning in slowly, jj is the one to connect his lips with yours. the kiss was gentle and chaste at first, your mouths moving passionately against one another.

jjs hands find their way to your waist, gently caressing the flesh. you take that as a sign to move your hands up his torso, then settling your arms around his neck, all while continuing to kiss him passionately.

the kiss grows more intense over time, your tongues fighting for dominance against one another. eventually you catch yourself grinding your hips against his, as you both makeout.

minutes go by, and he finds himself lost in your kisses and the way your grinding your hips against his. his cock doesn't take long to stir in his cargo shorts.

when you feel his buldge press up against you, your hips move a little faster, the kisses becoming more desperate. before you know it, a light is shining in the closet and the sound of the door creaking fills your ears.

you pull away from jjs lips briefly to look at who opened the door.

"seven minutes are up, lovebirds." john b says with a jerk of his head, motioning for you two to get out the closet with a smirk.

IM SO SORRY TO LEAVE YALL ON A HANGER LOL

[lumdays]

WAHAHAHHHHWHH ILYYYYY THAMK YOU SO MUCHHH🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i wish i could interact more and stuff but iM AWKWARD IM SO SORRY AUEGEHGDHH anyways!!!!!mooties appreciation timeeee😽😽

@cheerleaderman since you tagged me first🫶🫶🫶 i really REALLY REALLY adore your art and your ocs and admire how quickly and constantly you manage to put it out, we haven’t talked a lot but you’re super nice and i wish we could interact more but hshhhhhshIM SHY WITH NO PEOPLE AROUND still i think ur super cool and it's always a joy to see you on my dash‼️

@amatsuchan-eiliniel I LOVE YOUR ART AND HOPPER AND YOU SOOO MUCH!!!! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL PERSON AND I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!!!! HOPPER IS SUCH A CUTIE I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

from here onwards i think i'm gonna forget a bunch of people but😞😞😞WE BALLLLLL

@boopshoops your art is so😋😋😋😋YYYYUUUMMMMYYYY youre suuuuperrrrr nice and all your projects are sososo cool and creative and fun!!! ALSO YOURE SO FUNNY HEHE🫶🫶 i love seeing your shitposts as much as literally any of your other posts!!! yuu shi's such a queen girlboss gorgeous beautiful lady i fall to my knees everytime i see her TRUST

@starry-night-rose HIHIHI I THINK UR ART IS SUPER CUTE AND YOUR OCS ARE SO MUCH FUN!!! i haven't read through all of them but i LOVE ellis!! (you AND the sona🫶🫶) you're so full of life and girlish whimsy and like pink aura and vibe, i love being around you!!! super happy to be your moot!

@galacticstationsblog GALLLL YOUR DESIGNS ARE SOOOOO FIREEE AND I LOVE YOUR IDEAS AND YUKI AND VIA AND HAHSHHSHHSHSH you're sooo sweet and i am ALWAYS blown away with how pretty your art is seriously it's🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥FIRE BANGER PEAK (i love ur cats too🫶🫶🫶TELL THEM I SAID HIIII)

@theleechyskrunkly BRO!!!!!! I Do Not See You On My Dash Often Enough. Come Back./LH ANYHOW i love aurinelle and yuiishi and your art and like, you as a whole(because you are me and i am you and im the best/j) YOURE SO FUNNY AND LIKE EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME I THINK YOURE REALLY NICE AND FUN TO BE AROUND!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING ON THE SAME(similar?) FREAKUENCY AS MEEEE

@nemisisnemi HEYYY NEMIII I LOVE YOUR ART AND YOUR OCS!!!! THEYRE BANGERS🔥🔥🔥🔥 this might be awkward since we haven't interacted a lot but i think you're really really funny and cool!! (and your art is FIRE and like ABSOLUTELY majestic but i think i already said that hrhzhhshsh) I WISH I'D SEE YOU ON MY DASH MORE GHRHRHGRH

@thehollowwriter QUINNN!!!! thank you so much for being one of my very first twst moots and for being my friend despite my awkward ahh introduction😭😭😭😭 you're a really really talenter writer and i'm pretty sure i binge-read all of your works??!? THATS HOW GOOD YOUR WRITING IS LMAO i truly do adore finn and silas and timo and morrigan and your entire cast of ocs

@twistedwonderlandshenanigans V!!! waahhh i love your writing and your ideas and your thoughts and you, your brain is MASSIVE and your heart is too cause you're one of the bestest people i've ever met🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 thank you so much for being my friend, i kinda see you as an older sister figure lol? sorry if that's cringe or you're uncomfortable with the notion but i really admire you and i hope i get to stick by your side for a long while!!!

@distant-velleity KAIII your art is SCRUMPTIOUS your writing is WONDERFUL AND YOU'RE AN AMAZING AMAZING GUY (and the lore is always gut-wrenching but i think i'm starting to get used to it/aff) really you're so creative and skilled i feel like i'm in the presence of a person who was blessed by literally any and every god of art that has ever existed when you're around, you're so much fun to talk to and i am so happy to be your friend🫶🫶🫶don't ever stop being a little bit evil, i think it's like maybe one of the many many best things about you

@elenauaurs 😈😈😈naelenaaaaa YOU🫵ARE AWESOMEEEE🌟⭐️🌟✨️💫💫💫🌠🌠⭐️🌟🌠🌠💫💫💫🌠🌟🌟✨️🌟⭐️💫🌟✨️🌟✨️🌠🌠🌠✨️✨️⭐️✨️🌟⭐️⭐️💫⭐️⭐️🌠🌠⭐️⭐️⭐️ (STAR ATTACK RAAHHHH) ILYYY THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME AND BEING A SWEETHEART AND FOR BEING ALIVE AND FOR BEING WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE YOURE A WONDERFUL PERSON!!!! your art is sO SO SOSO BEAUTIFUL AND YOUR IDEAS AND OCS ARE ALWAYS SO CREATIVE AND CLEVER AND INTERESTING i love hearing your thoughts and just talking with you, thank you for being my friend stargirl🫶🫶

@oya-oya-okay I JUST REALISED WE'RE MOOTS AHHHH OK OK WAITT let me calm down first im calm im calm i think ur art is super super cute and i always thought that you were too!!! like you just seem like a super sweet person and i've always wanted to interact with u more🫶🫶 i really admire you and am a huge fan of your shuu and black butler x twst au!! i also followed your ridoazul art hshdhhdhzuvdhshhshsh your ideas are really funny and cute and your art is awesome!!!

@skriblee-ksk KRISSSS WAHAHHAHHA ok so your art is just so lovely and you ARE TOO!!!! like there's just a really sweet air to it/you that makes me smile each and every time NO FAIL. ALSO I LOVE KIYUU SO MUCH SHES THE SKRUNKLY THE CUTIE THE GIRL EVERRRR GRHHGRHHR (i wanna squeeze hug her SO bad) i love love love seeing your stuff on my dash i rub my hands together like a little gremlin and go smash my thumbs against the reblog and like buttons like i have personal vendettas against em🔥🔥🔥🔥 I WISH WE COULD TALK MORE BUT YOURE REALLY SWEET AND AN AMAZING MOOT ILYYYY

positivity train!

if you see this or are tagged in it, tag a couple of your favorite mutuals/blogs and let them know you appreciate seeing them on your dash!

@h0neysugarfree @blueberrylovv @bequiteanddriveeeeeee @cherri-bomb-bomb @eg0mechan1c @fatrexicisback

[spinostarz]

THE WELL AND THE LIGHTHOUSE PMV/ANIMATIC

very very jean valjean centric because i love him and he deserves the world <3 im not sure if pmv or animatic would apply better to this, but either way, i hope you enjoy it!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

reading Krakoa era out of order bc reading lists online make it confusing and my local library only has so many books

just as god intended right on my friend you're doing everything right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[thanatika]

yeah i agree with your point about survival mechanics and i feel the same way about the lack of combat mechanics. "why would an educated city doctor need a weapon" because shit is hitting the fan in every way impossible and pretty much everyone is walking around armed... also why am i supposed to believe the the fact that he's a man of intellect will somehow provide him with food? i don't think anyone is going to be too eager to share food during an outbreak intellectual or not...

+ follow up for the previous ask but actually my favorite quest from the original pathologic is the day 11 bachelor quest that involves shooting down soldiers. i think it really drives the point home about how this random fuckass guy who is supposed to be battling a plague doesn't even have the time to do that anymore because the people in charge are asking completely irrelevant things of him now and he's at a position where he cannot refuse what is being asked of him. like i think it was good storytelling that even as the guy who lowkey wants to deal with the plague and solve its mystery you still have other, more pressing, less interesting and or pleasant tasks to complete

i agree! honestly, i feel this way about the combat mechanics even more than i do about the physical survival (food, health, illness, sleep) mechanics. because sure, i can see how it makes sense for daniil's position of authority to mean that his basic needs are somewhat provided for -- although i don't think it makes more sense than what we got in the original game. i've never seen anyone bring up "isn't it kind of unrealistic that the bachelor isn't given lots of food during a massive food shortage?" as a plothole that needed to be resolved. the townspeople generally don't like him much, and most of the people with power don't either, except for the kains. sure, maybe it's kind of weird that you can go see the kains while broke and on the verge of keeling over from hunger, and they won't do anything to help you, but... the kains are pretty self-centered, and they're so goddamn weird that maybe they forget that you need to eat food to live anyway. and it's half-implied that the powers that be are ultimately giving daniil this role as a convenient way to kill him, so it makes sense that they would put no pressure on the town authorities to keep him alive.

(and honestly, artemy is taken under the olgimsky's auspices as much as the kains take daniil's under theirs! which is to say, selfishly, with ulterior motives that are more important to them than the well-being of their healer, but... the olgimskys are set up as the wealthiest of the 3 families financially, as well as the ones with the most access to food, given their control over the meat industry. so if anything it's "weirder" that artemy isn't more materially provided for, though to be clear i don't think there's an actual plothole there either way.)

but anyway, you could handwave it and say that daniil's position of privilege and authority gives him more perks than he got in the original game, but the amount of fighting you have to do to get through town is... kind of an unavoidable physical reality? like you're given so many sidequests that you often wind up walking around town after dark, and that's when the bandits come out. is the idea that the bandits would be too scared to attack him because he's so important? because that doesn't make a lot of sense to me, and even pathologic 2 establishes that he's seen as a valuable target by the bandits:

and then there's the quests where combat plays a more direct role in the story itself, like getting involved in saving andrey from the firing squad, or killing guards to break artemy out of prison, or the quest where you have to kill var in attempt to stop the arsonists (which i include on the same tier as the other ones because i really like the quest journal entry he has if you complete it where he blames himself for willow's death. it's a good character moment.)

hell, even in pathologic 2 itself, one of the biggest Bachelor Moments is on day 11, when you have that big dramatic convo with him after he killed a soldier for the papers he was delivering. plus one of bad grief's idle dialogues in patho 2 is commentary on the bachelor being "quick on the draw" and that he "already shot someone". like he just straight up is not living a combat-free existence. and overall, combat isn't just a good tool from a mechanical perspective, heightening the stakes and placing pressure on the player (though it is), it's also pretty important for him on a thematic level imo, almost as important as artemy and his "rivers of blood". in patho classic, daniil has this early interaction with the inquisitor:

which, thinking about it from a doylist perspective, was probably the writers' attempt to make it sound more plausible that this random medical researcher from the big city was competent with multiple types of guns. and i appreciate them coming up with that hint of backstory to cover their bases a bit, but with those bases covered, i think the fact that daniil ultimately spends more time shooting people than he does prescribing medicines for them actually does a lot for him thematically? i mean, if his whole thing is that he's this "tempted destroyer", someone who frames his career as a combative battle with death rather than a quest to save people's lives, whose "default" solution is to raze the town with artillery because he's too limited by his rationalist worldview and military upbringing (and bitterness over being manipulated and sabotaged) to come up with a solution that saves the any remaining infected survivors on his own. plus the way that clara frames artemy and daniil as two sides of the same coin in being violent destroyers and killers, who without player intervention will immediately devolve to running around chasing each other down in what's either an insanely dedicated tom and jerry LARP or some really elaborate foreplay. imo, that whole dichotomy (which is pretty core to the game, as the idea of dichotomies are core to it in general) works so much better with the way they're both presented in classic, stalking around with gun/scalpel in hand. hell, not to mention the effect that spending 12 in-game days trying not to starve and getting killed by bandits or guards or worms or soldiers every day would have on the player, and the way it would make them feel about the town and their natural projection of those feelings onto dankovsky, who is a perfectly fitting vessel for them as the avatar actually undergoing those virtual experiences.

ultimately i think they are mainly going this direction out of a desire to do something more creative and original, which is fine... it just seems a bit silly to me that they keep saying "well obviously that doesn't really work for the bachelor's scenario", when, well... even as recently as patho 2 in 2019, they seemed to think it fit his narrative pretty well! i'm also guessing that a lack of combat won't be that bandits are just no longer roaming the streets at night. it sounds more like pathologic 3 is set to be more of a nonlinear experience, where you'll probably fast travel from place to place instead of having to walk across town so much? so you'll be avoiding bandits just in the sense that the gameplay will be avoiding them. i guess i'm hoping that at the very least, there's still the implication of the crunch of not getting enough sleep or food and the threat of being stabbed to death while trying to get through town occurring to dankovsky in the background, even if those mechanics are deemphasized in favor of more macro-level town resource management, time control, and sherlock holmes fruit ninja or whatever the hell they were on about back in 2022 lmao.

[ddiidi]

bf! LeeMinho x gn! Reader

Masterlist

When he strikes an insecurity by accident

Previous Pt. 1

Pt. 2

!Warnings: angst, swearing, term "princessa" is used, reader has childhood trauma Minho does know abt, fluff, kissing, mention of blood, mention of violence, lmk if I missed any

Side-Note: Should I make a special Pt. With reader having a nightmare about her past?

Ppl that want to be added the the general tag list for all series comment 🤍 pls🙏🏽

Minho has never been home as fast as he been today. He skipped red lights, speeding through the city as if he's crazy. He has to get home as fast as possible and see if you're alright.

He entered the parking lot in front of your shared house and basically jumped out the car, tripping over his feet and letting his keys fall. He cursed, getting up and runs towards the house door, entering.

The house was quiet. "Y/n?! Y/n, baby, answer me please!" Minho yelled running towards the kitchen door. He opened the door and looked around. You were no where to be seen. Panic raises in him, as he walks towards the kitchen island, uncutted ingredients sitting on it.

He walked around the kitchen island and froze. He stared down at your laying body, unmoving, blood fleeing out of your left thigh, a knife laying besides you.

He panics. Kneeling down besides you, shaking you. "Y/n!! Y/n, god, please wake up! I'm sorry okay? I'll make it up to you, so please just wake up", he kept yelling and begging, your body not moving an inch...

How long have I been asleep...you think to yourself, Why is everything dark..you ask yourself, Why does my body hurt so much...you wonder to yourself. You start to fall. Deep. A dark while swallowing you inside, pain crusing through your body. Then there was nothing. Black darkness, till someone grabbed your arm.

You try to free yourself from their grip, but you suddenly weren't an adult anymore. You were a child, you were your younger self, standing in the kitchen with your mother. Your mother yelled, at man, your dad, his grip on your arm tightening, as he pulled you down to the ground.

Your mother yelled your name, crying hitting your dad. He grabbed for a kitchen knife and-

Your eyes shot open, abruptly sitting up from, what feels like a couch, panting, drained in sweat. You looked around. You weren't in your parents's house but in your shared house with Minho. You were pretty positive you fainted in the kitchen, so how come you're on the living room couch now? You tried to stand up, letting out a Yelp at the pain in your left leg, looking down, you see your leg Baindaided. You let out a heavy sigh, looking over at your phone.

You picked it up, several missed calls and unopened messages from Minho.

You slightly smiled to yourself at his panic and were about to reply, when you heared someone walking around in the house. You grabbed the empty, sweets plate off the coffee table and tried to stand up, when the person entered the room.

You closed your eyes and screamed, in shock the other person screamed too.

Wait- You knew that voice.- You slowly opened your eyes and stopped screaming as you saw who stood there. Minho.

You stared at each other, till Minho talked first "Why in the world are you screaming!" He yelled "Why are you sneaking around the house!" You yelled back. "I'm not sneaking around, I made you something to eat, your Highness! I'm sorry i'm not allowed to cook in my own house!" He scoffed and you sat back down, crossing your arms over your chest. You looked away, still made for what he said per text.

He came over to you and sat a plate, filled with food, on the coffee table, turning to look at you. "Hey..sweets..how ar-" "Dont talk to me." "What- but I-" "I said don't talk to me. Don't wanna be a clingy baby, who's up your ass 24/7 and can't take care of herself, because I can. So leave me alone. Why are you here anyway." You bit out at him, still not facing him.

He stayed quiet for some time, before putting a hand on your shoulder to turn you around. "Hey please...i just,- i'm sorry. Really, what I said was, totally not okay and I know a sorry won't help anything but I want to make this right. You hurted yourself because of me and I can't every forgive that myself, but I want to make sure you won't hurt yourself again. I didn't think when I said these things." he stared into your eyes and you stared back, he was deeply sorry, you could see it.

You let out a sigh and hugged him tightly, inhaling his scent to calm your racing heart. "I dreamed again...you know.." Your arms around him tighten, such as his around you "I know. That won't happen sweets, never, i'll protect you, always okay?". You hummed in agreement and pulled away from him. He kisses first your nose, then your lips, softly.

After what feels like 1 second but also a life time, he pulled away from you, putting his forhead against you. "Eating now?" With a nod you pull away, trying the food.

"I'm still mad at you though"

.・゜-: ✧ :-⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 🖤🤍🖤 ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇-: ✧ :-゜・．taglist: @hwayne2294 @stephanieeeyang @chanchansgirly @mmarusa @seungminsteddybear @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @chrisbangswifey @straykidslvr @victorbutnotreally @hannieslovebot @seungfl0wer @lemonn015 @certainsweetssheep @rockstarkkami @bbokari711 @grubeboss4 @peanutkittyt

[aestheticreservoire]

Not the person you are addressing but I feel like theres more to be said I don’t see in the replies to the post and that I think adds context to fan fiction and fandom in general especially after reading other women talk about the generalisation stuff in the OP

- a lot of women start reading fic as teenagers and a lot of current fic readers and writers are per se autistic and obsessed with whatever media they’re writing about ergo why they make stories about it obsessively. This is not a new phenomenon, women wrote Sherlock and Watson fan fiction back then with the books and the first mainstream fandom as we understand it today was Star Trek: the original series in the 70s. At that point it was in fact a sort of revolutionary separatist space as a lot of the people writing, and publishing, fanzines were female. Fanfic continues to be female skewed in fact. Males were also Star Trek fans it’s the derivative writing space that was and continues to be overwhelmingly female.

You probably dont care but if you want data points I started at age 13.

- I personally haven’t disengaged entirely but I know a lot of people do (and I took distance) because of the current heavy control exerted community wise due to the increasing politicisation of fandom after the 2000s onward. This is nothing new, again, a lot of the fujos who shipped Kirk and Spock in the 70s legit used that as leverage to support gay rights, it’s just that by virtue of members being younger and more immature and the insanity that was cultivated since livejournal, into here, and onward to twitter and TikTok fandom has become like a pug inbred version of itself.

- because the girls writing this are straight. It’s the same mindset of fujoshi writing doujinshi in Japan. Two attractive men kissing and thinking about romance without all the implications of being a woman and your lesser place in society because of it. And of course a lot of the media they obsess with glorifying and exhalting men while making mediocre or irrelevant female characters. Female essayists were actually writing about this in the Star Trek days too.

-No, not really. As I said a lot of women into this are already autistic or otherwise “weird” personality wise and that usually carries its own batch of associated mental illness, some thru nature some thru nurture (bullying, exclusion causing depression and anxiety) there’s actually an analysis of how this impacts geeks in general, socially, called the Geek Social Fallacies and you will see them repeat in ambiances like liberal feminism and activist teenagers on tiktok: https://plausiblydeniable.com/five-geek-social-fallacies/ which boils down to, I was excluded and left behind, ergo I vow when I meet other nerds I will never leave anyone behind because everyone who leaves me behind are evil bullies who hate me just because I like media.

This is also why I believe so many fandom spaces are social justice oriented. They too see minorities being excluded that they have to defend no matter the cost which is why analysis is so black and white, un-nuanced, and generally ignorant of whatever minority is being defended. Which I've personally experienced being latin american in the anglo fandom internet. In the end, I think I agree with a lot of other people that women are criticised a lot more for these fandom things than men are for things that are far more harmful, especially considering the history of these places as women-led hobbies that permitted a space separate from men. However I also agree it is a hobby and a lot of it is self-indulgent slop, and you should go in with that mindset. The cult mentality of hyper political fandom is also incredibly diseased and wreaks havoc on your already fragile mental state. Like any subculture it can be a wonderful thing for you to connect with people or controlling torture depending on how you engage with it. But as an autist I can't deny the catharsis of being able to do what is essentially glorified playing with fictional dolls without scorn, as that is something that you are judged for, very often unfairly- like most women's hobbies, to be honest.

I don't hate fan fiction because it's not original material or whatever. I hate fan fiction because it seems like everyone who is into it has serious mental health issues.

And I realize that it's a chicken/egg situation so there's no way to tell if being immersed in it tanks your wellbeing or if you get into it at your lowest point. What I do see is that it doesn't make you any better and definitely makes things way worse.

[whalemleck]

Will you make Bee's attachment/trust chart? Like how much does Bee trust them, or likes being around them, or probably feels responsibility over them, or how much he despise them, or just dont care

I didn't really think about it until you asked, so thanks a lot!

Bee would have written himself attachment/trust chart on Cliff's advice, since after the events of TPF1 he has very mixed feelings about the whole situation

Cliff, out of curiosity, looked through this list when Bee was not there. The Sentinel always came first, but after meeting brother Bee, he wrote a question mark next to Prime. The list was not updated for some time and remained empty, since he was always using responsibilities, bodyguard was not up to dating, until after a while Cliff saw the names written illegibly at the bottom and with comments in parentheses

Orion Pax (can trust? To study, to observe)

D-16 ( can trust, but a little less. Orion's Friend, To study, to observe)

after the events of TPF1 Cliffjumper will be surprised to find that the Sentinel has been completely crossed out, and he himself was at the top of the list, as well as new names added to the list

Sentinel Prime (master, can trust?) He's dead, forget about him.

Cliffjumper (Sparkbrother, can trust. He has always been caring towards you, it is your turn to take care of his well-being)

Orion Pax (can trust? To study, to observe) Optimus Prime (sort out your feelings. can be trusted)

D—16 ( can trust, but a little less. Orion's Friend, To study, to observe) he is no longer who he was

Elite one (she trusts me, i will do the same)

Prowl (can trust? he doesn't seem to mind my company, I hope I don't disturb him. (don't forget to attend his therapy sessions))

Jazz (I like him.)

Ratchet (At the moment he is my attending physician, he seems to be happy with my company and grumbles less when I am around.)

Arachnid (still trust her.)

Sentinal's former right hand was jailed for her complicity and many of the things she did under his command. And to the surprise of most, she said nothing about B, didn't reveal his actions, but only wished him luck and advised him to visit her in prison, as her advice would still be useful to him. (and it was)

there was no one he truly hated or despised because he was always indifferent to the behavior of others. (he still thought he betrayed Sentinel, but he also understands that this bot didn't see him as anything more than a weapon)

[sycamorality]

thinking abt that 1 time where i was semi-active on a discord server for a yter i watch cause his content actually interested me.

at some point in the announcements channel he posts a link to a game, asking everyone in the server to playtest the game. i'm sideyeing this game because…. this guy is a minecraft youtuber. this guy made a world with only one block where structures generate in the world. so i talk in general chat like, "hey are we sure we can trust this..?" and i try to warn people that this could be a scam and call it out that he could've been hacked because he's not the type to do this.

some other people are suspicious too but i'm the only one being 'loud' about my suspicion and pointing it out. one of the mods, who to my knowledge was the guy's friend, is like "no he's not hacked he's made games before". so i download the game and run it through a malware tester. guess what it turns out to be. i post a screenshot of this in general chat. i think it gets deleted pretty quickly but some people do see it. i keep trying to point out hey this is malware dont downlaod it and play it..? but the mod who is the guy's friend keeps saying "he's made games before" etc etc and someone plays it in vc. yes, it's a simple 2d shooter, But its still got malware.

and i'm just sitting there in vc like. guys. guys this is fucking malware. guys. oh my god guys. i also point out that the youtuber doesnt type like he usually does. he usually types all lowercase with a few specific typos and he's not doing that right now which is you know, weird as fuck. i'm still weirded out because he's not the type to make a game like this?? and then after a few minutes they like. start kicking people from the main server, specifically people that are voicing their suspicion, and thats finally when people started realising. oh shit. something's fishy about this.

and someone makes a temporary server for everyone thats active to gather while shit continues to go down and the main server is locked down because the hacker's realised theyve finally gotten got. so the hacker's doing damage control and people are talking in the second server someone made and then the youtuber joins with an alt on the second server after two hours or so and confirms he got hacked and that the game that "he" sent was malware. and i'm just sitting here trying my best not to go "I TOLD YOU!!! I FUCKING TOILD YOU!!!! I SAID IT FIRST!!! I SAID IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER IT WAS POSTED AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN"

anyway i ended up leaving that server later because there were a lot of nsfw/18+ jokes that were thrown around even though there were minors on the server. actually 1 of those were directed at me and it was someone "joking" about commissioning me to draw nsfw and me responding "im a minor" and him replying "i see... so ur playing hard to get" and i brought that up to the youtuber and he just brushed it off like "no he just makes jokes like that. hes just like that"

[leonardalphachurch]

eeeek day 7 already!!

logrimmons (locus, grif, simmons), texsis (tex, kai), locpez (locus, lopez), or wash and epsilon (either romantic or platonic) please!

(i would love to give you a shitty drawing/writing in return smiles)

-skateboard-theta

i talk all the time about texsis and have already drawn them making out sloppy so im skipping that and for epsiwash well. i will draw them making out sloppy style for you but i feel like these two are also smth thats on my mind enough i dont need this event to talk about it

okay i decided to put logrimmons and logrif together in another ask. so this post is going to be just locpez

i think thats the first time ive ever drawn lopez. anyway

okay i said grif was the most normal person in the logrif thing and thats true but in terms of personality lopez is the most "im literally just standing here". also i just realized i never talked about what grif saw in locus. well. have you seen locus. next question. anyway i LOVE the locpez revolution lately. i think theres obviously a lot to be said about them both being latino and so thoroughly dehumanized but i think theres ppl more qualified to talk about that than me lmao. in terms of the dehumanization tho i think the way that lopez at no point ever expresses a desire to be "human" and yet still doesnt even for a second doubt his own personhood would be SUCH a good contrast to locus' whole thing. like while i do think lopez actually has an incredible amount of empathy and compassion hes also kind of a dick so while he would understand locus being Like That hed also be kind of like. well thats fucking stupid youre clearly not a weapon youre a person. ive literally dated a weapon and guess what? she was also a person. i also think obviously lopez would appreciate having someone around who can understand him but thats also like... like clearly something drew locus to felix originally i think he would like how much of a dick lopez is

[serv0z]

RAHHH a drawing of all the sillies currently occupying my brain right now. Funny thing is!! My last LN related drawing was posted almost exactly a year ago!! how funny! Close-ups and yapping under the cut

I'm running on 3 hrs of sleep bc i stayed up till 5am to make this and then i had a neurologist appt at 8 so!!! (i got officially diagnosed with adhd or add we win, i already forgot which one he said but i get my meds tmrw!!) I might take a nap after this im so exhausted. ANYWAYS.!!! i love. flowey and clover friendship no one start yelling at me abt how flowey didnt care!!! theyre best friends to me!!!! and it works out as im a clover kinnie nd floweys been my comfort character for years now. we win. I don't think monsters really had binders at first (dont use bandages btw guys, dont be like Starlo was!!11) I think the first time one fell into the trash dump or wtvr someone picked it up and then once figuring out its uses just!! boom!! business!! figuring out how to safely make more and!!! finding ways to accommodate certain monsters with different body types!! esp with the spikes and such. Ceroba def helped Starlo out with his bandages often before they were able to get him a binder. the one where clovers drawing is !! an idea of revived!clover or clover staying in the underground in hiding. Martlet got him that shirt :)) and obv the bell earring is from Ceroba. sorry to all my cotl followers i STILL have no colored the 5 body refs of both narinder and lambert. I picked the colors here on a whim so uhmmm it's not official!!! not yet anyways!! i do like what i used for Narinders fur tho, so that might stay idk yet i hte coloring BNJKNKSD i colored this whole thing on a wild impulse.. thus staying up all night. I think clover would really enjoy waterfall if they were ever able to visit it after or during the whole soul thing. It's peaceful and beautiful and also one of my fav areas in base game sooo :) i missed my LN kids. I reread Raccoons on ao3 and remembered how much i loved them and their silly lil dynamic. im a #1 six defender btw i WILL throw hands if u say some wrong shit abt her. mono, less so bc i think a lot of people have a good grasp on his character now but six is ALWAYS villainized. Has been for years nd it ticks me off bc?? she was right for her actions kinda?? not really?? ofc both characters made bad choices that lead to it but dont disregard her feelings either? idk its a whole thing i cant get into on THIS post. a lot of the doodles are just random moments like Six in the Maw with their bigass keys and locks, maybe its one of the ones to the kitchen and thats why she's rushing :D? Mono isnt really. he wasnt meant to be in the end game room but i wanted funky lighting so do with that as u will. Silly stuff with RK and Six, RCG I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT U HUN <333 I JUST DONT HAVE A DESIGN FOR YOU YET!!! same for Low and Alone </3 RK with the nomes my beloved <333 nd ofc the last dance based on the animation on youtube!!! do not tag any of the ln kids as ship!!! and do not tag clover and flowey as a ship either!! only two im fine with in this drawing is staroba or narilamb oki goodnight

[kazumist]

EPISODE 23 ✦ PLEASE DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME

LOVE, MAYBE — A CHILDE SMAU

masterlist / prev / next / wc: 838.

with an ice cream already consumed, ajax is walking you home now. it was a silent walk; only the sounds of the leaves slightly rustling around you as well as both of your footsteps can be heard in the area. 

you liked childe—it took you long enough to realize that. but it’s still a lot for you to process. you think it’s mutual, but how can you be so sure? maybe childe is just like that to the people he cares about, right? but god, it surely makes your heart drop to your stomach at the thought of someone else also receiving this treatment from him.

is this an effect of an eldest daughter who’s also a hopeless romantic? perhaps. romantic love was an unfamiliar concept to you, after all. no matter how much you read or consume media that consists of the theme of romance, it will never be enough to give you the understanding that you wish to grasp with the concept. before you knew it, you had already let your words slip.

"why are you doing this?"

"why shouldn't i be doing this?" he asks back, slightly tilting his head to the side.

"i don't get it, childe. why are you doing this?"

childe pauses for a moment, realizing that you are actually serious with your question. he doesn't reply immediately, finding the right words to say first.

"it's because... i love you," he says, only realizing it now as well. he had always liked you, of course, but ajax had only realized that he loved you. he had loved you for a while now.

"what?" you asked him in disbelief.

"i love you, (name)."

"but... why?"

"is a reason necessary?"

your breath hitched at his words. "i—of course it's necessary! i don't get it. i'm a difficult person. i refuse to communicate. i push people away even though deep inside i know i need help because, even as a child, i never got any sort of assistance to begin with. i pressure myself to the point it's way too overwhelming. i fear that one day i'll end up being useless in my own life. i can hardly even understand myself so what more if others would try? i... i find that i'm undeserving of love because there are others who need it more than me."

"so please, ajax. there's no use in loving me. you'll just get tired in the end. there's someone out there who's more deserving of the love you have to give."

please don't say you love me, because i might not say it back.

"no."

"what? didn't you hear what i just said? i'm difficult to love, ajax—"

"i heard it, but that doesn't change the fact that i still love you nonetheless," he replies, taking a step closer.

"(name), i love you with everything i am, everything i've been, and everything i hope to be, and i'll continue to love you even when you push me away. i will always find my way home to you. i'll be there to pull you back up before you sink any further under the pressure you give yourself. you'll never be useless—i'll make sure that you never feel that way. i will understand you no matter whatever it is that needs to be understood with you."

"you are not undeserving of love, because if there's one person in the world that i'd choose to pour my love on, it would be you," he finishes.

“i… no.”

“what?”

“no—i.. i can’t. i’m sorry, tartaglia.” the use of his last name stung for him a bit. “it’s fine if you can’t right now; i’m willing to wai—” you cut him off before he could finish the word. “don’t!” he flinches at the sudden raise of your voice and is taken aback. “why?”

“please… just don’t. there’s others who are better and more deserving of you than me. why me? you’ll just be wasting your time if you wait for me. i probably wouldn’t be able to give you a proper answer. i.. how are you so sure that you love me?”

“that’s fine with me, (name). it’s okay for me to go through all of that because i know i would be doing it for you.” 

stop it. please.

“my answer is still no.”

i’d rather not risk it. i don’t want to take someone for granted, especially if that someone is you.

“but—”

this is for the better.

“go away, ajax.”

he could feel the weakness in your voice when you said those three words. he tried to get closer by taking a step further, but you took a step back. that was when ajax realized that you were sure of your words. “let me still walk you home, just for tonight—this will be the last one,” he says. as you were about to decline, he spoke again first. “i don’t want you to walk home alone when it’s dark.”

even if this might be the last time i’ll get to do this.

extra notes.

wow double update ?!?! watch me ghost this app again for 2 months ... kidding !

had this episode sitting my drafts for MONTHS. im pretty sure this episode has been written ever since i was still uploading ep 5 maybe? somewhere during the making of the early episodes LAWLZ

smau playlist linked here !! pls give it a listen it gives u the extra feels 😋 this episode is highly inspired by please don't say you love me by gabrielle aplin <3

taglist (open): @xianyoon @mitsvriii @kizakiss @kissingkzuha @aethion @phtogravi @ell1e2010 @esthelily @b4tm4nn @hcmay @ivvieene @morganadorodo @kaitfae @kentply @scaranthropy @kyon-cherri @kookiibun @kochothehoe @mekiiiii @ibyobi @iuspired @tetsuskei @kunikuzushis-darling @morgyyyyyyy @chluuvr @scaradooche @kissmiere @a1-ic3 @bubblegum-angelquartz @tiredjxnna @levlucs-kiru @angeilix @cerisescherries @saeskiss @a-talkative-corn @briluvspnk @kamisatoyato @bbysatoruuu @viviixoxosblog @bambisz @chemiru @eternal-dokja @bflyprincess @jamieexistss @monocerosei @enjisthings @jangyung @hahalame @cupid-spams @snzhrchy @ukinya @luciledreamz @bisatanica @bananasquash @almond-t0fu @thegalaxyisunfolding @jaguarthecat [1/2]

[gods-favorite-autistic]

fantasy high hc ! all the bad kids know sign language (solesian sign language? their own made up sign? probably both lets be honest)

(semi/)nonverbal gorgus/riz being able to communicate easily with their friends if speech is hard or theyre overwhelmed, i also hc that adaine loses speech when she gets really anxious or stressed about something no im not projecting

also hoh fig my beloved, she started losing her hearing when her horns grew in and the whole being a rockstar thing probably doesnt help, she has hearing aids (special made and enhanced by gorgugs tinkering) but they dont fix her hearing 100% and hearing aids are not comfy to wear 24/7 so being able to take them out and still communicate is great

(sorry for the ramble lol)

⚡️

Yessss I love this

They get the idea sometime during freshman year, everyone is hanging out at Riz’s place and it’s just very very loud and Riz has not been having a good day before that and Fig kept punching his arm all bro-ey and he ended up hiding in the kitchen signing with his mom, Fig recognized it when she went to go get a snack and joined in (she had tried to learn it when her horns grew in, it’s really janky but she’s trying her best) and Riz was just so excited to have somebody else know it

Fabian has the most trouble learning it, he tends to gesture vaguely a lot with his hands while talking so having to talk with his hands very specifically is weird for him, but he puts in the effort for his friends

Adaine starts teaching herself it (her father thinks it’s unpractical, she has comprehend languages if she really needs it, so she usually goes to the school library and practices there) and then once she picks it up she helps teach the other Bad Kids

Kristen already knows some from doing outreach with the church (they were culty but they weren’t fully ableist) but it’s mainly religious words so it’s pretty much as broken as her Elvish, she does pick it up surprisingly quickly (despite her abysmal dexterity)

Gorgug knows a few specific words his parents taught him when he was little (he was not very good at thinking clearly enough to communicate when he was overwhelmed so it’s mainly just words like “mad” “sad” and “loud” that he can sign really quickly), him and Fabian have study sessions for while once they start learning and figure out they’re both abysmal at it

Fig steals her moms card and signs up for lessons before figuring out that not a single one of these people know how to sign conversationally (she’s the only actual hoh person in there including the teacher who is just so condescending like she’s aware of how to sign the word yes she’s not inept) so she quits after like day two and learns with Adaine

Riz learned how to sign when he was like 6 (his parents thought it would be a useful life skill but they also figured out it both gave his hands something nondestructive to do and a way to communicate during meltdowns so they worked extra hard to teach him) and he helps the others out with their signing (mainly Fabian and Gorgug)

If they don’t want to be overheard they have a tendency of slipping into sign language, which is very confusing when they go from the loudest corner ever to literal silence+the smacking of hands

Fig tries to very discreetly talk shit with Fabian and Adaine in front of Jawbone by signing except Jawbone decided to learn sign the first week he was counselor so she got in trouble anyways (he did not let her use the “but im disabled” card to get out of it)

Fig tries to be her own translator at concerts (“Adaine can make a simulacra it’ll be cool!”) but her label said no

Fabian tends to use sign language any time he’s at a party and doesn’t feel like ruining his voice for the night just to chat with his friends

Gorgug thinks it’s really funny to sign curse words in front of teachers and then lie about what they mean (especially Porter in Junior year he thinks it’s hilarious)

[polaris-likethestar]

okay sooo smth that i want to say about the finale is yes it had its flaws, it wasnt perfect, there were many plot holes and i get it. i do think its smth u have to give it time and then rewatch it cause i finally rewatched it yesterday and it hit a lot different.

however i feel like one way that it didnt hit the mark for me at first and now it kind of makes sense is the way it was presented made it feel like a redemption arc for agatha. and it wasnt (and thats okay !!)

okay lets take one of the most popular villain mcu redepmtion arcs: loki. ima make this quick cause ik not everyone here watched that show but basically he went from someone who was selfish and cruel to someone who sacrificed himself to save everyone and i feel like thats what we all thought was gonna happen with agatha.

but it didnt, and that was kinda confusing.

bc the only reason she died instead of billy is cause he brought up her son. she cared about her son. yes, she cared about billy, i dont doubt that, but only to the extent that she did because he reminded her of nicholas (idk if that makes sense, not saying she wouldnt have cared either way but just that his similarities to her son increased her feelings about him)

agatha is overall not a great person. i hate the terms good and bad because theyre so fixated but agatha would be considered a "bad person." this show was never meant to make her good.

this show was never meant to be an excuse for her actions; instead, it gave her a reason.

we see that she's been through stuff and that she has crazy feelings and that shes traumatized. she didnt deserve what she went through. part of her backstory is what made her the way she is.

she was never going to change and become better. she was never gonna be the type of person to sacrifice herself for someone else. and she never did.

she's always going to be selfish. she's always going to put herself first. but now we get it.

so agatha all along is not a redemption arc for agatha harkness, but instead, it's a attempt to humanize her.

[velvetvexations]

recently ive been seeing posts made by TRFs a lot that are forcefem focused and almost always intersexist and racist and weird, and then also confirm themselves later to be transphobic. today i saw one say 'all men should be force feminized' and then say 'especially trans men'. ive seen posts go out of their way to say asian men specifically. ive seen posts start listing intersex traits, ive seen them actually literally say intersex. its weird that the idea around forcefem is so "we're reclaiming it from cis men" (already very "??") and then use it to be incredibly racist and transphobic and intersexist. a while ago i saw one that was like "if you know a man, you need to feminize him or kill him." same person said "anything that happens to you if you date a man is your fault." im a cis, asian, intersex guy but my first thoughts always go to my trans man friends. its so trendy and edgy and cute to TRFs to joke about or even often double down as not being a joke that they think forced detransition is good and ideal. and to clarify, many of these posts have the op say on the post later or on a separate post later theyre not joking- not that its acceptable to joke about at all. but, just in case. it just makes me feel sick. i dont want to use this website at all anymore.

Like. There's an acceptable way to do hard problamatic kink stuff but I don't think these blogs appreciate how much that raises their blog's level on the hardness scale when it's "owo take ur howomones nya!!1!" people doing it on blogs where they also discourse about how awful trans men are to trans women.