#i like volcanoes ok they are super cool

[blasphemousclaw]

ok so I watched Vaati’s new video on Rykard, really liked it overall but I wanted to go into more detail about what I liked and what I disagreed with. 

Gonna start with a list of the things I loved/found super interesting:

The way he laid out the evidence for Rykard’s inquisition having been on behalf of Leyndell was really really well laid out!!! 

I laughed at the “FAMILEEE” soundbyte 

His discussion about the origins of “hexes” was super cool 

I had never heard of the cut item description linking the Serpent Arrows to Shaded Castle! 

The idea that poison was involved in Rykard’s desecration of the Minor Erdtree… he didn’t mention this, but this idea could explain why there’s sickly greenish growths at its base?  

(Gelmir Minor Erdtree vs. Consecrated Snowfield Minor Erdtree)

Talked about the idea that the Great Serpent grew because of the sacrifices it was fed, then was killed, then came back as a normal-sized snake, that Rykard fed himself to and then grew large due to once again devouring sacrifices

Pointed out that the snakes inside the Abductor Virgins look like metal!!! I thought I was crazy for thinking this

1.0 Daedicar mentioned ‼️

His overall characterization of Rykard and his motivations is really good. he gets it

Now here’s some arguments he made that I disagree with:

Early in the video, Vaati makes the argument that the blue-robed Officials originate from House Marais because the blue robes are a part of Maleigh Marais’s garb as head of the House, because Inquisitor Ghiza wears bandages, suggesting that he’s “sickly born” like the rest of the Marais family, and because the unnamed guy in the Volcano Manor portrait also wears a metal mask like Maleigh Marais. He argues that House Marais were assimilated into Erdtree society, and presumably that the Official’s blue robes were a precursor to the other robes associated with the nobility (the Ruler’s robe, the Upper Class attire, and the Consort’s robe). 

There are several reasons why I disagree with this theory:

Masks aren’t unique to the Marais family: the Ruler’s set comes with a Ruler’s mask, said to be “customary dress among lords,” and Tanith also wears a mask with her Consort’s robe. I speculated that masks are simply part of the noble fashion alongside the particular style of robe. 

I don’t think it makes a ton of sense for pompous noblemen to have adapted their style of dress from a robe associated with a family of executioners carrying out “the darkest duties of mankind”

The Volcano Manor portrait guy does not have bandages under his mask like Maleigh does.

Maleigh and Ghiza don't really look alike at all:

Also, a different explanation for Ghiza’s bandages could be that he’s a remnant of the 1.0 version of Daedicar, a torturer in Rykard’s inquisition: “he would test new methods of torture first upon himself."

Overall I think a better explanation for the Marais attire is that, since their ancestral duty was serving as executioners on behalf of the Erdtree's justice system, they simply incorporated the Official's attire (worn by magisterial officials carrying out "surveillance, executions, gruesome rituals") into the garb of the head of their house.

I absolutely think House Marais is connected to Volcano Manor though; I've suggested that as executioners they serve as a branch of the Erdtree justice system working in tandem with Rykard's inquisition.

2. Later in the video, Vaati makes the argument that the Abductor Virgins were made after Rykard snakeified himself. I personally think that they were made before the snakening, but I can see the evidence for the contrary and I definitely think it’s possible. However, Vaati later says that the Abductors were used to transport people to the Underground Inquisition Chamber to be interrogated, which contradicts his argument that they were made after Rykard’s snakening… if Rykard is now a serpent, no longer a Praetor, what use is there for interrogation? And who is doing the interrogating, if Tanith was the only human left loyal to Rykard, and his inquisitors have long abandoned him? If the Abductors were made after Rykard became the serpent, the victims are probably just being fed to him. 

3. Towards the end of the video, Vaati says that the serpent displayed in the Temple of Eiglay is the flayed skin of the Great Serpent, and that might explain the Godskin’s presence there. But it’s not the flayed skin of a snake, it’s a snake shed:

It’s a pale, milky, almost translucent color, with some ragged edges and holes. Snakes shed their skin as they grow, and we know the Great Serpent “devours, grows, and lives eternally.” Rykard even has some shed skin stuck to his body and tail:

4. Lastly, I’ve beat this horse to death but you can’t say with 100% certainty that Rykard was born with red hair because he has pale hair in the present day. I will die on this hill

[smilesrobotlover]

Ok that’s it. I’m just gonna scream about echoes of wisdom:

First off, this game is amazing. Like I’m so impressed with it and had a blast with it. I’m very impressed with how fun the gameplay was. I was nervous that it wasn’t gonna be fun, but no it was actually tons of fun! It’s not perfect ofc. I wish you didn’t have to sit and scroll through hundreds of echoes, I wish they separated monsters and objects to make each one easier to grab, and the amount of times I pressed the sword button instead of the echo button was insane. Fighting enemies is also a pain since it takes so long, and I wished I could just directly fight them, and it’s super easy to soft lock yourself as well. But all those negatives don’t outweigh the positives, because regardless of those flaws, it was still VERY fun to play through. Once you get powerful monsters, fighting is kinda fun to watch. I loved placing like, 7 fire octos against one ice octo and just watch it get destroyed. I loved setting things on fire, I loved climbing on trees, and overall I just, loved finding ways to solve puzzles. Thinking outside the box was a lot of fun in this game. Now, in some places like the Faron temple, it wasn’t fun BUT, still. I loved it

And the story, omg. This is the first Zelda game that I’ve played since becoming a fan that has a new link and Zelda in a new Hyrule, and it was so refreshing to see! I’ve seen the same ones for years now since joining the fandom and I love seeing new ones! I love how Zelda doesn’t know Link at all, that he’s just some swordsman who saved her. I just love what they did with Link in general. He wasn’t reduced to a damsel in distress, he had his own adventure, we just didn’t see it. He was competent and was fighting In the rift before Null captured him. Fighting along side him was SO fun and the final dungeon was very unique and fun to go through. I also loved fighting as him in the very beginning. They gave him an interesting backstory and I almost wish we got to see his adventure! But oh well, this game is about Zelda anyways :)

And Zelda is fun too, I love all the characters that know her. They were all so competent and didn’t actually sit around like a bunch of idiots. I wish Zelda wasn’t a silent protagonist though, but idk how else they would’ve done it. Oh well.

And I didn’t like Tri in the beginning but they really grew on me towards the end. They were very bland but some personality came out as we progressed further into the story, and I laughed out loud at some of the things they said lol.

But let me talk about my fav part of the game: Null.

I cant tell you how much I love the concept of Null. The idea of some creature that is the embodiment of nothingness that has been there since before the creation of the world is SO FREAKING COOL. It’s nice having a story where Ganon isn’t the big bad, it’s this ancient being that is powerful and very dangerous. Far more dangerous than Demise. And it doesn’t contradict the established lore? Like this makes a lot of sense that Null was imprisoned in the world, but was creating rifts because they wanted to go back to nothingness. It’s spooky to think that they were there the whole time, just trying to escape.

Though it does make me wonder about the timeline. My guess is that this game takes place before or after botw/totk with hebra mountain existing and things generally being in the same spot (except death mountain, but volcanoes move anyways right?). And no one knows what the Triforce actually is, which is also very interesting. It’s an ancient power that’s not well known which is very cool, and I LOVED seeing it again! Having them discover the primal energy being the Triforce was so freaking cool, and the legend of the princess (or priestess) and the hero defeating evil was cool, but it does make me wonder where it is in time.

But yeah, all in all, I loved this game. It was incredible and so much fun with amazing characters and great lore that expanded on the universe. Very very neat.

But I’m giving it a 2/10 cuz Linebeck wasn’t in it

[ennabear]

hii !! 🫶🏻 just discovered your account and i love it !! :) i was wondering if you could write some more headcannons about ellie? like, what job would she do? etc. i like to think that if she existed today, she'd probably be an illustrator for children's books !! that'd be so cool, tbh. i can see her making books about space or dinosaurs, and going to book fairs at schools to meet kiddos and talk to them about it. (crossover with professor!abby who used to teach little kids 🫶🏻🫶🏻) aah. sorry for rambling. but like, i just think ellie would have a blast if she existed today. like with all the museums ?? all the new ways to make art ?? but anyway !! what are *your* headcannons for modern ellie !! 🪐🫶🏻

modern!ellie’s job!! (hc) 🦕

thx for the request bae cause this made me smile so big. i have SO many hcs for modern ellie like i’ve been waiting for this moment!!!!! also dw about rambling i love to hear your thoughts 🤗

ok for starters i think ellie would be a nerd in high school. i know that some people headcanon her as a jock or a stoner (and that ellie has a special place in my heart) but i definitely think she’d be the opposite tbh. i imagine her with only a few friends (dina, jesse, cat). and i also think she’d have insanely good grades because she’s just smart like that. and all of her teachers love her because even though she’s quiet, she’s really kind and creative.

also i think her family would be just her and joel and maybe a dog. like imagine her spending her weekends getting guitar lessons from joel and then taking her dog on a walk and documenting it in her journal. she would fr have such a blast!!!!

for college i definitely think she’d major in astronomy/astrophysics or maybe art history?? and in her last years of college, she’d get a job as a secretary for a science museum. honestly, she didn’t hate it, but she was super jealous of the tour guide because she got to take all of the cute little kids on a walk and talk about the fun stuff while ellie had to sit behind a desk all day. but after begging her supervisor enough, she’d get promoted to tour guide after the mean old lady who used to do it retired.

and guess what??? the kiddos loved her!!! she always made sure the kids were having a great time and she knew a lot about what she was talking about, whether it was dinosaurs or planets or volcanoes. and the joke book came everywhere with her!! absolutely nothing made her happier than hearing the little monsters giggling and squealing about a joke that wasn’t even that funny.

abby and ellie would become good friends because of the time abby took her class to the museum on a field trip. they ended up actually really liking each other, especially because they had so much in common. and sometimes after work they’d meet up at a bar and talk about life, it was nice for them to both have a new friend who was equally as nerdy.

ellie would be a tour guide for quite a few years while abby got her doctorate. a few years after abby became a professor, ellie tried out illustrating a childrens book for a local visitor at the museum who was really fond of ellie. it was nothing too big, but she was really proud of it.

after she finished the drawings for the book, she wanted to try writing one of her own. so she decided to write a textbook for kids about dinosaurs with her own illustrations and a joke on every page.

safe to say it was super successful!!! she ended up going to local elementary schools and educating the littles about the different types of dinosaurs and each era they lived in. and you better believe old man joel was so proud!!!! his little girl ellie that he used to take to dinosaur museums was now writing her own dinosaur books!!!

i think eventually she’d quit her job at the museum and focus on being a writer full time, along with keeping art as a hobby. and i can 100% see her getting married and adopting a kid just like joel adopted her, and she’d pass on all of her science knowledge to her mini self. also i think she’d mainly only write science textbooks for kids, but may end up publishing a sci-fi novel or two.

i think that’s all :3 thanks for the ask sweetie pie ilysm 🫶

daily click / israeli themes in tlou

[eri-pl]

Ok, so I have a very silly and probably barely applicable question, but what with Morgoth-canary and I think I remember a post where you said you had very strong opinions about Maglor's voice (I don't remember them, it was one of those "blink and it's gone" posts of my feed ! But I'd like to read them if you feel like it - although I don't know the first thing about music so it's just really sheer curiosity), so I was wondering if you had thoughts about Morgoth's voice ? What could Ainuric voices be like ? And did taking permanent physical form affect his voice ? Probably, right ? He wouldn't have been able to modulate/change it quite as much as before, maybe be stuck with a classically villainy "evil" one ? And then in the void he would have no voice anymore.

Ooooh! Thank you for this question, it's great!

First, Maglor. He is a bass. Well, not really, because I'm certain that Elves have wider vocal ranges, but his speaking voice is rather low, and his singing voice is varied, but can go super low, vibrations-in-your-bones low, and his songs are generally low on pitch. Like the sea. The sea does not squeek.

This is one of the headcanons I will argue about. I am rather strong in my opinions about Maglor. I would rather agree on "Maglor in the Darkness Everlasting"* than on tenor Maglor.

Oh, so now to the king of fools, lord of nothing, Melkor in his various iterations. Starting back when he wasn't such an idiot yet. Standard Morgoth content warning: we'll be doing a short recap of his history. No details, just allusions to events.

So, Ainulindale. which is my favorite chapter. Melkor was the greatest of the Ainur, which means, I think, he had a relatively wide vocal range, well wider than all the other Ainur.

But also, he was a little bint (word thanks to dfw), and taking into account all the band kid stereotypes… OK, tbh I know exactly one professional soprano, who also plays violin, and she's really nice and the only other things she's got in common with Melkor are the fear of spiders and cool hair. But, this being said, the personality stereotypes say that Melkor should be a soprano.

The Ainur's voices aren't gender-coded, I would say. If they even had the idea of gender at that point.

So, he can do many things, but he generally sings in a high pitch, because this makes everyone notice him.

Also, musically... so, this is that thing called chromatic notes. It's a think that jazz does (and I love jazz, I have mental associacions with jazz that would make tolkien chase me with an axe, but let's not digress). Like: when you compare Chopin to Mozart; Chopin is way more chromatic.

So, Melkor doesn't do it. He sings his own dumb melody, which is in a dissonance to everyone else initially (which means it is chromatic in the context of the whole Music), but internally it is simple. It is fifths, lates I would say he just repeats one note on and on, just in many octaves. And the note is probably B. Or maybe G flat.

OK, in non-musical terms: imagine someone is playing a piano (in a normal, mostly-white-keys way), and someone else is banging on the black keys, and then only on all the Gb keys. It's loud but primitive. And doesn't fit until you go Chopin and everything becomes lyrical and so sad, and then he can't really break it, I can't explain it well.

TLDR: Extremely simple harmony, but loud and not in the normal key.

Also, I wanted to talk about power chords but I don't think you want another musical tangent. (They're not as cool as they sound, they're empty-ish inside but it kinda works in the context)

Then they all go to Arda and at some point begin speaking properly. Iirc it's only after the Elves, but I assume the Ainur did have some sounds associated with them even before.

So Melkor's general sound landscape would again be empty inside. Some very loud tones, because they feel majestic: thunder rumbling, ice grinding, earthquake and the murmur of volcano, you can feel it in your bones and it's terryfying. Some very high tones, because they are effective and hard to miss. Evil screeching. No middle tones, because he's an idiot he finds them boring. Empty shell, like an epic movie soundtrack compised by a first-year student of music school and played on a midi. All the trappings but none of the actual work.

His voice, during the Black Rider phase would be similar. Low and rumbling and terryfying, but everytime he gets emotional it becomes high-pitched and has this infuriating timbre of when people talk with a very tense throat. It makes him sound insecure. Because he is. And when beaten by Tulkas he screams like this.

Then we have the parole and I do hc that he actually meant to be better, only he imagined it like "I stop breaking your stuff, and messing with the little beings, and you start listening to me like you listen to Manwë (= you do all I want you to do)" and was not really interested in putting in the effort. So the whole idea broke at the first problems (the city is so pretty, not everyone likes me, Feanor).

Anyway in his Aman phase I imagine Melkor with relatively low voice, but not so low it's weird. He fits in the nornal Elven spectrum. Baritone? Getting higher with the pitch when needed, but rarely he would let his emotions show enough to go very high.

Also, the sweet manner of talking that Sauron had as Annatar or in Numenor, but not so self-deprecating. Less of a "I'm but a humble servant" and more of "I am pretty cool, hey, want to do cool things with me?" The general vibe of a bad boy in a teenage romantic drama. Elongated syllabes, using all the most recent and fashionable Noldorin mannerisns (sa-si all the way!). Also, a lot of whispering, when he spreads the gossip and what not. "Sexy voice" but with his lack of understanding and respect for bounduaries it often feels creepy.

Then he grows more and more sinister, more focused on revenge against the Noldor (well, Feanor) and the Valar. His voice becomes more like a low-key Disney villain. The pitch is unchanged, but the tone is full of suggestions of subtext. It's never clear, but a lot of insinuations are hanging in the air. this kind of slithery, musical intonation in a sentence, elongating of wovels, slightly question-like tone too often. (I can't give you a good example, Scar would be a good example, but only in the Polish dub)

Then he does the Ungoliant business and gets stuck in his Dark Lord form. So, I would say low, booming voice, but flat (=not many overtones, the voice sounds shallow). Loud and with echo, but somehow not as majestic as he would like it. And when he gets scared or lusty or anyhow agitated, he starts talking faster and in a higher voice and with clenched throat.

And he gradually deteriorates, due to Silmarils and general awfulness, and his voice becomes more raspy, more noisy. At the end it's impossible to ascribe a set pitch to it, just like to white noise. Still it doesn't have tones in the middle, but the highs and lows are a mess, and closer to each other, the lacking middle is more narrow. And he doesn't speak much near the end, he's not that interested in any communication. Especially after trying to talk (ekhm) with Lúthien ended like it did. His voice rusts.

And at the end it's just panicked screams that sound more like ….not even an animal. More like a mindless dark creature than like a person. Switching between threats and pleading and pure panic, always full of hatered and disdain. Loud but always so very flat.

And then, upon hearing all those screams, Manwë realizes that the brother he remembers is gone, and that he can't do anything about it— how can you do a reprise without one of the main singers? And even if you could, how can you be happy forever missing someone you love? He doesn't know. I don't know. I am sad.

On one hand the very idea of Second Music is so wonderful and answers so many questions and Aegnor and Andreth and Elrond and Elross and all that and more— and I can't imagine Manwë thinking about this idea and not thinking at the back of his head "my brother won't be with us" and not being sad. I am not saying it's not possible. Just that I can't wrap my mind around it. Or my feelings.

Yes, this is one of my attractors, one of the topics I usually land on. Because. Reasons. Which I will not ramble about because they are personal. But it does make me sad. A lot.

I have some scenes in my head when people Valar talk about this, Nienna obv, she doesn't get it either, many people would probably say she would get it idk

Anyway that's it. That's the post. Sorry it's not more concrete.

[justanotherbirdbrain-blog]

as a volcano guy, I'd love for you to go over what media typically gets wrong about volcanoes (like people outrunning a fucking pyroclastic flow and/or surviving in it for any period of time). I know you sort of talked about eruptions in your natural disasters post, but I still feel like there's a lot to explore about the typical "stratovolcano that somehow has constant rivers of lava" image that most people think of. Some stuff about how karst caves work/different types of them would also be cool!

Apologies for replying so late, but this is so true and frustrating! Media does not really properly convey natural disasters, maybe to make people feel less scared? But what it actually does is give everyone false confidence, or allows people to make uneducated decisions!

So lets talk about it! First lets look at some things in media that upset me:

To be completely clear here, I love Lord of the Rings and so does my advisor, so at LEAST two geologists have managed to get over this scene. However, when I put on my geologist glasses there is a lot to unpack, first, the above volcano is a stratovolcano, which erupts how it is depicted above kind of, which means its letting off mostly ash and giant boulders, and! the lava is not that flowy. Only mafic lavas flow like that (like in Hawaii). Stravovolcanoes get their shape from all the ash that is shed down the sides of the it, that is what the volcano is made of!

Also, even if we want to play devils advocate and say, "ok they got lucky with pyroclastic flows" WHICH GOES ON AVERAGE 60MPH OR 100KM/H. And lets imagine that these rocks just managed to keep them cool enough to sit on that rock, lava releases toxic gases?

Like CO2 which is toxic by itself sure, but also sulfur dioxide, carbon monoxide, and other very very toxic things.

Another thing about pyroclastic flows is they are freaking hot! 200°C and 700°C (390-1300°F) the heat will kill anyone before the ash does.

And now that I have brought up ash lets talk about what it is because people just casually standing in it with no masks?

Those are tiny glass shards you are inhaling, you know how asbestos is super bad for you? This is just as bad for the same reasons.

Dropping media for a minute, volcanoes kill in several different ways, whether it is an incident like Pompeii which was overtaken by pyroclastic flows, whether is be from volcanic gases like the Lake Nios, or from related earthquakes or tsunamis caused by the volcanic activity.

Speaking of Tsunamis!

No, there is not some huge wave, more than likely you will not see a tsunami coming. The most you get is maybe feeling the associated earthquake or volcanic eruption, or you see the ocean receding rapidly.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE BY THE EARTHQUAKE OR VOLCANO FOR YOU TO BE AFFECTED BY A TSUNAMI, If something causes a tsunami to happen in Japan, it can also affect Hawaii, and the West Coast of the US, and visa versa. This occurred most recently (to my knowledge) in 2011.

Do you want to know how fast tsunamis travel in open water?

over 500 mph (800 km/h)

Media should have some responsibility in teaching people how to behave in these situations to some degree and natural disaster safety should be taught regardless if you live in Kansas or Washington state, because who knows where you will end up living as an adult or if where you happen to vacation experiences a disaster.

I know there is a lot more to address from a lot of movies, but if I am being completely honest I avoid movies involving natural disasters like a plague because it just leaves me feeling very upset.

Oh wait one last thing to everyone seeing this!

YELLOWSTONE IS NOT GOING TO ERUPT. STOP SAYING THAT. The rhyolite magma chamber beneath Yellowstone is only 5-15% molten (the rest is solidified but still hot). Pick another volcano to start an apocalypse, because she ain't it.

Oh, also you don't need a supervolcano to send the world spiraling, a year without a summer, which was an absolute disaster, was created by the eruption of mount Tambora (in Indonesia) and just in EUROPE over 65,000 died because of the climate changes and resulting famine.

Thank you for your time!

[egtotaldramatakes]

loading...

ALETYLER/TYLEJANDRO/ALEJANDRO X TYLER/🌹🏈 RAMBLING BY YOURS TRULY...TYLER'S HEADBAND/ALEX!!!!!!!!^_^

I LOVE ALETYLER SM!!!!!! its literally my OTP liek tyler my brother in christ you do NOT like grills lil bro like why did bro get so defensive when al picked him up and literally gets concerned when they just simply tapped him on the shoulder like U R NOT STRAIGHT BUCKAROO "but oilyjaundicedoorknob manipulated stoopifsdd orangutan dat wsaers a red headband and trcksuithibht!!!!!!" yes, i know. alejandro has manipulated almost IF not all of the contestants. and in World Tour eel and teelor actually had a friendship that WASNT one sided. No manipulator would consider a victim their friend. plus there were some times where al liked tyler and no they did NOT interact 3 times *insert random ass name* alliances need to have alot of interacts 2 be considered an alliance. and they interacted alot in TDWT, and also btw i dont rlly think that aletyler should even be considered as a rarepair since they interacted alot(rarepairs are ships where the characters BARELY interact) and i think fanon ship is a better term 4 it. plus it wasnt even manipulation brah she was just telling him 2 expose gwen which created the worst fucking love triangle ever

uhhhhh headcanons ig-(not doing the rainbow text bc it takes too long to do)

al is genderfluid(you obviously know bc im the CEO of genderfluid alejandro),pan,intersex,an ace in the hole, and autism bc i have autism mueheheheheheheh(any/all).

tyler is trans ftm,bi,demiboy and has AUDHD bc i have ADHD too lmao(He/It)

al literally has 13 evil exes and one of them keeps annoying him

tyler first met al's family when al was in the fucking hospital after the volcano incident(and yes this is a reference 2 that one aletyler angst thingy made by @alejandrolover23)

al is rlly good at flirting(obviously) but teelor is so cringeworthy and cheesy its paintful("are you a fart? cuz you blew me away[cool]" "what the sigma")

one time in a date, josé went in a very shitty disguise as a foreign waiter with a ridiculously bad accent and al got super pissed

when alpha and tidepod met eachother after world tour tyler literally tackled them

ngl i think the reason why this ship is hated is so stupid like why do you hate it just bc its fanon like you wouldn't handle my crack/crossoverships(one of them is josé x sans)

eep

have this pic of one of my tdi OCs Rosa gushing over aletyler because shes a fujoshi

"GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!" ahh tyler(IMAGE NOT MINE)

sigma sigma boy sigma boy sigma boy sigma boy

ok thats it lmao bye bye eg-w-

#aletyler4lyfer

.

[catsi]

any fun updates on miffy and your dnd game?

awwww oh you're so sweet ty for asking...!!! TT__TT we haven't played recently bc of holidays and stuff but we're currently inside the void inside a volcano now which is pretty sick... we're fighting a Primal that has been corrupted by a Voidsent (horrifying and cool)

update-wise... hm.... i don't think i ever talked about miffy's Clown Assassin friend, Geiger? who is an assassin who is also a clown, not an assassin who kills clowns

he was originally hired to assassinate the party but we were apparently entertaining for him to watch so he held off on killing us for a while. then he saw miffy make a pact with the Void and he, as a Void pact-maker himself, took an interest in her. he appeared one night when miffy was keeping watch and informed her of all of this. at the time, he told her that he couldn't miss the chance to speak with a "Daughter of the Matriarch" like her.

at the time miffy had begged him not to kill the party and he was like "ummm no lol my client is paying me a lot to do this so".

but later!! he ended up coming to the party's rescue when the party was fighting the daughter of the client who had hired him. miffy was 2 HP away from being Super Dead, and Geiger put his own life at risk by taking the evil daughter to the Void and trying to fight her there to buy the group some time

the fight with his client's daughter nearly killed him (it's ok he got better), and that was enough to earn miffy's friendship and trust. everyone else in the party hates him or is wary of him given that he was explicitly sent to kill us, but miffy really likes him. he risked his life and his integrity as an assassin, and him doing so is the reason she's not dead!

we got a chance to remove his mask after he sorta-died and it turns out a part of his face has become like a black hole. when he sorta-died, his new body crawled out of aforementioned black hole.

miffy's noticed that, lately, her empty eye socket is starting to look more and more similar to his....

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 7 thoughts (I probably should have done this as two posts but I didn't):

WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, look at how my wonderful daughter takes the steps to communicate with Rachel in the way that works for Rachel.

And then look at how Rachel reaches back to do the same thing!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!

Taylor needs to take a longer rest and should not be sparing Brian the morning after the gala attack, but she quickly loses the opportunity to take a rest so whatever I guess.

Alec backstory! His father is fucking horrible oh my god. Kill him with fire.

WOLFSPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god the fucking suit made of bugs I was screaming. And then having it keep shape while crouching to make it seem like you turned into bugs? Having the bugs all make noise while you talked to make it sound super weird?! I'm in fucking love, look at how amazing my little girl is!

Taylor stabbed a Nazi. And later she stabbed another Nazi! I'm so proud.

The E88 list. Oh my god Coil, way to not think things through. (I mean, he probably thought it through and was ok with the outcome, but given that he wants the Undersiders on his team it doesn't seem like the best action to take.)

And the fucking drugged 12 year old Coil keeps in his bunker to run probability numbers for him? I wasn't expecting him to be good but god damn he turned really fucking evil really quickly.

Grue kneecapped a Nazi and I'm so proud of him. Remember, every time you kneecap a Nazi an angel gets its wings.

Lots of interesting powers on E88 (Night, Hookwolf). Too bad they chose to be Nazis instead of something cool. I hope Hookwolf get's melted down to slag. (Stormtiger's power, costume, and name feels directly out of 80's comics and I'm here for it.)

Did I mention the wolfspider moments? Taylor got her lunch! And then Rachel gave Taylor the good fetch toy so she could play fetch the the doggos. And the worked together to save the one dogs life! WOLFSPIDER!

Shit got awkward with Brian.

I hope Sophia gets hit by a bus that crashes into another bus. In a volcano.

If Angelica doesn't recover I'm burning down at least 5 Nazis. I think that's fair.

I'm sad that babies are fighting even though I get why Taylor is doing what she is. Being a villain is hard.

And we end with an Endbringer showing up which kinda makes everything else seem small fries.

Interlude thoughts - I like getting to see Miss Militia's backstory. I wish she wasn't "Guns and America the hero" because I actually think her personality and the way her powers work beyond the making guns part is pretty neat. Also she remembers what getting her powers was like which is super cool. Everyone gets a god piece I guess. I'm sure I'll learn more eventually.

More interlude thoughts - I love Dragon I wish they didn't run a prison so I could love them more. I love that she basically got through Poley the Polearm Man's "heavy security" in like negative 5 seconds. Anything to make him look bad. I will never like him, I refuse.

[kiawren]

hi wren it's nice to meet you!! I hope you don't mind the random ask, but I'd love to hear abt your ship with kiawe!! how did you meet him, and what first drew you into him? and whatever else you'd want to talk abt!! (also when I was reading your pinned I saw you like link click which is SO COOL and I had to say smth :] )

- @linkclick

HELLO Nice to meet you too Julian yes I love link click i have this merch it's like holographic so when you see it from a different angle the rainbow parts are really cool I think it's really dynamic and fun to look at

ALSO IT'S GREAT HOW YOUR USERNAME IS LITERALLY LINKCLICK AND THAT YOU HAVE LINK CLICK F/OS I don't but the media is amazing if you have lore about your selfship I would really like to know as well

Okay so kiawren lore! I think I've said it before somewhere but Im lazy to find it so I'll just say everything again

Idk if you've played the games (but anyway it's not important for you to know) but my s/i Wren doesn't follow the MC's story in the games. He's an aspiring conservationist who goes to alola on a study/research/outreach conservation programme for a few months. Becuz alola's inspiration is Hawaii irl and although I wouldn't go as a tourist irl it's nice to dream that I could go somewhere so uniquely biodiverse and help out in conservation which is also literally my ambition so when I selfship in that role it makes me happy...

Wren meets kiawe when they visit Wela volcano park one day to find a nice spot to view the sunset. Honestly the meeting lore is not fixed lol. Kiawe does his trial captain duties at the top of the volcano and he was done with his duties for the day and going to head down the volcano for his canon night job at the supermarket when he sees wren and is wondering who is up here when the sky is getting so dark plus some graveler (a pokemon) specifically happened to block some of the paths that day lol idk. So becuz he felt he has a duty to look after the people and pokemon he wanted to accompany wren down cuz the paths are rocky. And then wren is like but I want to see the sunset he's like ok fine I know the best places to see it follow me. Okay so that was the first meeting

Subsequently wren just meets Kiawe at the volcano increasingly often, from like twice a week to 5 times a week to every day. Also wren's conservation thing is mainly on akala island (out of the 4 total islands in alola) which is also where Kiawe is from, and one of their research tasks was on the volcano so they met and talked and usually kiawe isn't super fond of foreigners he thought wren was some tourist but finding out he's doing some conservation thing he found it nice.

Yeah so they just got to know each other more and wren develops a crush first. For what draws me into him...

He studies traditional dances from his culture and hopes to study abroad and fulfil this passion of his, which is why he has that night shift at the supermarket but he also got laid off from it in canon 😭 And when you find out about it he says "it seems like nothing ever goes right..." and asks to battle you and says this after like ARRRRGHHHH

Like I just want to be able to encourage him that he cna achieve his dreams becuz he's one of the most hardworking and passionate people ever like he deserves everything

Also this, it's directly implying Kiawe is a romanticist becuz you get this Reverent battle style after battling him

And like it's so heartwarming to know this guy who has like a stoic exterior has sentiments like this, I'm honestly similar in this way that we're both sorta idealists. So I would like to sit him with and talk about our ambitions together especially becuz even though my primary interest is the natural world, culture is also my second biggest interest and for him it's the other way round.

Also in another game he said that other people don't really like his intensity, but his two friends Mallow and Lana don't mind, and thanks the player for also not minding. And his dad also said he's always been quite lonely and it's nice to see the MC be friends with him like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 kiawe's such a genuine person but not the best at social interactions but when you get to know him I think he can be so generous and caring and humble and a great person to share your dreams with and achieve them together.

Also since he's a fire type pokemon trainer I associate him with red, fire, heat and the sun cuz he's so central to my world and a huge motivation and a person I can admire so much, so when I listen to music and read poems and stuff it's fun to find themes like this and think of my love for him Yes 😁

Thank you for the ask and the interest in kiawren it's always fun to procrastinate by talking about us LOL

[thatgirlfromthering]

here is a bunch of useless stuff abt prsk but i have no friends so im just saying it for everyone to hear. my opinions only dont take this seriously

nc @ 25

mafuyu: my favorite in the whole game. its odd considering that i used to absolutely hate her. i hated her for the same reason that most ppl hate her. i thought that everyone was overreacting to her problems but then i realized i was projecting my own insecurities onto that so i started to love her. ill pull her mothers hair out in clumps

kanade: my second favorite in the whole games. i just relate to mafuyu more. her hair is nice. we both hate going outside ♡︎ idk how shes paying the bills but either way i feel bad for her she lost so many ppl she loves & shes trying to protect someone she loves & i want a friend like her but i dont think itd be healthy but do i care? not really. i love kanade i wanna give her a comfy blanket to sleep with.

mizuki: this was very hard to do cause i couldnt decide to put them or kanade in the number 2 spot. ig i just have the smallest bit of more bias towards kanade. anyway their such a good friend big w for telling your bestie to run away (/serious) ily queen teehee were both transfem she/theys who hated life also their singing voice is the best out of all the characters

ena: ok i wanna like her more than i do but i just hate the way she treats mafuyu its like she thinks mafuyus a burden for not having conventional feelings a lot of ppl ik irl are like this so i dont care for ena that much but she obv has her moments of clarity ig but shes better than shiho (not sorry) also she abuses akito idc what ppl say

vbs

toya: hes autistic idk what to tell you chief i think the tenmas should adopt him his & tsukasas friendship is nice i like how tsukasas like an older brother to him. toya has my favorite voice of vbs i love how wholesome he is autism be damned by boys got daddy issues ill kick his dad in the teeth he & mafumom can fall into a volcano ♡︎

akito: i feel bad for the way ena treats him but i do wish he wasnt an ass sometimes but hes gotten better & actually has depth so i like him lots cause his voice is really good also his event stories are good i wish he had more event stories that were centered around him

an: 100% she ahouldve been the vbs leader my theory is that she looks too much like ichika ig & thats why. theres probably some reason that im unaware of. i like her event stories a lot shes a good character i like her determination also caucasian destination boy was her canon event not her discovering nagi is dead

kohane: shes cute & all & her singing voice is good. but she just feels like a copy & paste of minori, vice versa. her determination is cute & all but she just feels like super basic her outfit is cute tho ig.

wxs

nene: shes rlly cute her & emus friendship is one of my favorite dynamics we both love video games her whole mermaid thing is really nice i love mermaids sm also her songs are rlly cute her & lukas voices go well together shes also autistic just saying

rui: the other characters have queer aspects abt them but this guy was just queer all around i mean jfc anyway he said :3 i love his face he probably has my favorite face of the characters he has the best singing voice of wxs imo his event stories are cool too. hes autistic

emu: you ever meet someone so cheerful its almost intimidating? anyway shes adorable & deserves the world i like her lots i think shed give good hugs even tho i hate being touched id like to hug her at least once her event songs are good but im not a huge fan of once upon a dream

tsukasa: mr showtime is fire. he & emu would be in the same spot but i like emus singing voice better so 🤷‍♀️ he & mafuyu probably are systems (shoutout to hearth4days) my guy has glass child syndrome his parents are lowkey neglectful i love his big brother thing hes got going on i wish he was my big brother. his laugh is loud but nice

mmj

shizuku: so gorgeous no notes shes so sweet & cute & i love her voice & i want her to be my big sister & i love her singing voice the cards for the my color event are so lovely i want that costume for her so badly shes muah muah muah my love

haruka: we both have eds lol im not a huge fan of her singing voice but i like her hair when my hair grows out a little more i wanna style it like that i like her regular voice a lot

airi: lets go lesbians her & shizukus romeo & cinderella song was sooo good also her event songs are sooo good (momoiro key & icedrop ♡︎)

minori: her determination is cute & her design is cute but her personality is eh she & kohane are just copy & pastes of each other their both new at performing and have this main character determination & are obsessed with girls with blue hair (an & harkua)

l/n

honami: we both like drums. she probably has my second favorite face of all the characters. i also think she gives good hugs shes so nurturing and sweet i think her hair is very soft & smells good

saki: shes rlly cute i love her hair i wanna do my hair like that when it gets long we both are chronically ill & feel like a burden to the ppl around us lol her cards are really cute i also think her hair is soft

ichika: eh shes lame her singing voice is pretty good but other than that there doesnt seem to be too much thats interesting abt her

shiho: 🍅🍅🍅

[undonehomework]

ok because this is my blog and i can do whatever i want im going to do a year in review of 2024 and all of the crazy and not so crazy things that happened january

january was pretty chill, was back home for j-term. friend stayed with me for the first three weeks; had a brutal obstructing kidney stone, my worst one in 5 years, i passed it a few hours before my flight to arizona! that was an amazing trip; my uncle kept it together and i got to see so many cool rocks, go skiing, and spend good quality time with the family. romantically stagnant, mild homoerotic friendship

february

this was a worse month for me. went back to college, seasonal (?) depression was hitting hard. homoerotic friendship turned platonic, had a brief fling with someone else. went to boston to see mistki and visit friends, got back into watercolor

march

still kinda depressed in the beginning of march but things were looking up. blarney!! and started becoming closer with new people. few days of warm weather lifted my spirits. and then france!! still hate skiing but had so much fun with family and friends eating good food and seeing amazing views of the alps. learned how to play pool, got lost on the mountain and ended up wasted at the club at 3pm. got wooed by some british boys. also got approved for study abroad! came back home and immediately got super sick. like 10 days of fever and such

april

april was a great month. once i stopped being sick, i got closer with my new friends thanks to my comp sci class. there was an earthquake!!!! that happened during my independent research meeting with my prof about earthquakes. i was the first one to see the signature on the seismometer. it was a great day to be a geologist on the east coast. then the eclipse!! what a wonderful event to witness with some dear friends. despite being together for 17 hours straight, 14 of which were in a car stuck in traffic, we had so much fun. this was also the month of four leaf clover hunting and snacks in the cafe after class. emo prom!!! probably the best month of the year

may

another amazing month! finals came and went, lots of sunbathing on the quad with friends. emotional goodbyes and lots of hugging. coming back home and spending more time with friends. fun dates around the city! julia jacklin concert! field trip to oregon was another amazing experience. sleeping in yurts, cooking dinner by campfire, hanging out with my friends and a service dog. my professor secretly being a huge lucy dacus fan. getting a cold with my friend but toughing it out!! caves, mountains, volcanoes. obsidian pile that we slid down! memorial day weekend: 2hr drive to mt st helens, hike around, 3.5 hr drive to portland, 5 hr flight home, 45min taxi home, 45minsubway to train, 3 hour train, 1hr car ride to cousins grad party, party for 8 hours, 5 hour car ride home.

june

june! my birthday! it was a mixed bag for me. lots of prepping for new zealand, and an unfortunate amount of friend drama. ended up keeping to myself a bit. left for new zealand (18hr flight!) and started field camp with a hip injury from overuse :(

july

oh boy. field camp was tough. lots of small good moments (seals in kaikoura, the hot tub, frost in the mornings, sam's chocolate pudding, sunrise over the southern alps, the view from bealy's spur, the entire view of the milky way) but lots of tough moments. not exactly clicking with the rest of the group, struggling to keep up physically. kept putting myself out there, trying to connect with people, no matter how unsuccessfully. went skiing again (even though i hate it! i know i hate! why do i torture myself) just to say i skiied on three continents this year. started work on my research project. the field experiences were very cool and im glad i got to have them

august

august was a very up-and-down month. fucked up my hair by accident and went back to dark red. went to a queer event and met cool people (including a couple who wanted me to be their third). ended up in that polycule for a hot second (hello sexual reawakening!!!!). things were looking up! the timaru/mt cook trip was beautiful and also emotionally devastating (why was i being bullied at the ripe age of 20). cried in bed for three days afterwards

september

westport!! this was a great field trip. befriended both some kiwis and other people in my program i hadn't jived with before. super hard work -- up at sunrise, work in field til sundown, then come home and work until bed, rinse and repeat. very rewarding (even if i almost failed my field sketch). m&m ham incident. new friend turns racist. couple ended up closing the relationship; i meet someone new which goes very well. still struggling overall with lack of substantial friends and fighting through homesickness and depression

october

pretty rough and pretty fun. was super ready to come home, didn't really care about anything anymore. had threesome with new person, bf turned out to be racist (why is this a pattern). saw the southern lights!!!!! cried a bit at southern lights. worked on and presented research (i am quite proud of this!). got a little bit closer with other kiwis, as well as program people. had a harder time saying goodbye than expected.

november

auckland!! solo travel! hobbiton tour and beautiful swiss man and touching my knee in the glowworm caves and having hot sex on the floor of a hostel shower. old israeli roommate who kept notifications on full volume in shared room. wine tour, art museum, volcano, fresh focaccia with red onions and olives and sundried tomatoes. the election, and the support from a random dutch woman. lesbian archive with lesbian belgian couple. hawaii with my mom! more volcanoes, relaxation and stress, pregnancy scare. destroy boys concert, cousins staying with us for a week with new baby, meeting dan and phil and friends, thanksgiving blowing up my extended family.

december

a solid month. visited friends at college (felt like a whole human again!), spent time with grandparents and learned how to do linoleum prints. new clothes, judging speech tournament, random assortment of health issues (strep, boob pain, brown bumps on ear). christmas eve at the met. nosferatu, exploring with family, excellent pizza and a perfect new years to end it all.

here's to 2025!

[meowsticmarvels]

whats on your mind rn in terms of Games ?

OOH FUN.... assuming you probably asked this bc most of my interests are games LOL but i jhave some Thoughts on games in General and the industry as a whole. buckle up!

- currently im playing. a lot of them obviously but my most recents are persona 5 tactica and the sims 4 :] - fav fav games EXCLUDING THE SPECIAL INTERESTS . - ghost trick, UT/DR, NITW, TS4 ( i havent played any other sims except the sims 2 pets for the 3ds im sorry.), super mario galaxy, goodbye volcano high - the special interest ones include pokemon (fav out of main series is sun/moon, black/white, and scarlet/violet, but i do like many spin offs like mystery dungeon), mii/wii games (i.e. wii sports), minecraft story mode, and the persona games (never finished one but i've reached various distances in P2IS-P5 excluding some spin offs and stuff like i havent started P5S or P2EP. favs r 3 + 4 + tactica) ^ ask me about any of those (or other ones i like i.e. gvh) i WILL ANSWER even if its something thatd be faster with google im better - underrated gems i'd say goodbye volcano high, death road to canada, chicory a colorful tale, signs of the sojourner, aviary attorney, tails noir, blanc. ghost trick to a lesser extent ig but the others are indie - current main wishlist (inc. ones i Will emulate): shin megami tensei V, devil survivor overclocked, fire emblem 3 houses, professor layton, pokemon black 2, persona q2, persona 3 reload ( I Want. Now. its on gamepass but i literally need everything related to it you dont get it.), wii play motion, twewy, and okami. OH also in stars and time and oneshot. also disco elysium and hylics look cool too. AND CASSETTE BEASTS. fuck i hate when every game looks good. need to play murder of sonic the hedgehog also. and looking forward to billy bust up. OH AND I NEED TO PLAY THE STANLEY PARABLE. AND BALDURS GATE 3 - i think the only game i really truly regret buying is 1-2 switch. im sorry it was good for like 2-3 weeks when the switch was new now i just do not care - i love you indie games i love you games that in general are not afraid to be weird and deviate from stuff. get crazy with it - video games r kind of an art form. if you think about it - industry kind of shit !!! stop laying off your devs!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!! its been bad lately even my dad (a QA tester) got laid off a game he was working rly well on because they abruptly cancelled it. ok - i don't care for most FPS games. not my thing. too stressful. not enjoyable for me that much. im more of an RPG guy but i'm open to new things i played like food maker apps when i was a kid - speaking of industry stuff crunch is another thing severely a major problem. and the thing with sag aftra approving ai voices in games. Stop!!!!!!! - i miss e3 :( was a fun thing to look forward to each year - game preservation is also a real issue. like ig i get saving money by killing the servers on old consoles but in nintendos case people still actively use them theyre not that old. kind of dumb. xbox i get it the 360's been out since 2005 but 3ds/wiiu things are younger than me chill out - HATE when good fun mobile games are cash grabby. like STFU its more annoying than anything when they make resources impossible to get without paying. whats the fucking fun in that. i'd rather it be an easy way out last resort than oh i can get like 1 gem every month by doing this BUT if i pay i can get 10 of them for like 10 dolar. like ok die - waiter! waiter! more transgender as hell games please! (i.e. goodbye volcano high. that game changed lives) - also we need more autistic as hell games and i mean canonically. and not fucking Creepy Autism Simulator - more and better accessibility settings!!! i personally dont need many myself but it's important to me that others are able to play a game without severe issues due to disability. indie games doing great abt this based on feedback though ive seen a lot of good ones - any streetpassers in the chat thats all sorry it was long but i have a lot of thoughts abt Games in general. if theres any in particular u wanna hear abt shoot me an ask!!! can be one not on here i'm open to reccomendations or just things ive gathered from people who have :]

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 35

Chapter 35: Family Reunion

“Daddy, I lost my hat.”

“No, you didn’t, silly.” I felt something on my head. “You ready go visit my friends?”

“Yeah!” As we flew on nimbus, we saw a lot of bird fly past us. Everything went by so fast, and when we came to the ocean, it was so pretty. Usually when dad takes me on rides on nimbus, mommy would be with us. He would take us to new places, and we see so many different things. One time we went to an island with an active volcano, that was fun.

As we were landing on this small island, water had splashed us. It was so much fun. I then heard noise coming from inside the pink house. “Yo, anyone home?”

“Goku!” There sounded like 3 different people. And I was right, when 3 people came out. They asked who I was, and daddy told them I was his son. They all looked surprised. Why’s that? Then daddy put me down, and told me to say hi. I remembered how mommy showed me. They bowed back, and daddy very happy said mommy taught that to me. “So, Gohan, what you wanna be when you grow up?” A lady with blue hair asked.

“I want to be an orthopedics.” She was very surprised, almost like it was strange answer. She then asked if I wanted to be a fighter like daddy, but daddy told them about mommy. Then this big turtle came near me. Daddy said it was trying to say hi. I pet it, and it felt funny. It then gave me a ride on it’s back. It’s so cool. I even played rock-paper-scissors with a crab. When the crab lost it blew bubbles at me, it was funny. I then ran up to daddy. Today was starting to be so fun. Wish mommy was here to have fun with us.

…

“GOHAN!” NO! NO! NO! HE TOOK GOHAN! That monster took my son! I have to stop him! I have to get my little boy back! He’s so stronger than me, but I have to try. My son is counting on me. Gohan! I felt on the verge of sobbing, but I have to fight it. My son needs me! I won’t stop till he’s back in my arms! I’M NOT LOSING HIM! MY SON NEEDS ME!

…

“Don’t think of running away boy. Not like there’s anywhere you can run.” This mean man dropped me on the ground. “I’m going to—” I try to run to the truck that was nearby. Maybe I could hide here, till daddy comes. “Where you think you’re going?” He picked up the truck with one hand.

“Oh yeah! My daddy can do that too!” Me have to be brave till daddy gets here. Then this meanie blowup the truck. Oh no! He’s going to grab me again. I got to run away! He’s too quick. I start to cry.

“Shut your crying. You should be proud nephew. You’re a saiyan too. A proud warrior race.” He then puts me into the big round thingy. I beginning to cry again. For someone who says he’s daddy brother, and is my uncle, he sure is a big meanie. He hurt daddy. He made daddy scream in pain. He’s super mean. Nobody hurts daddy! That’s mommy’s job!

Oh, this thing as a lot of buttons. I wonder if one of them opens the door. I hope daddy comes soon. I’m scared. That mean man, what’s his name again? Radit? Sounds like a nasty vegetable. He’s more of a rat. A rat with spiker hair. What was those animals, in my book, called again? Oh yeah. He looks like a dirty, smelly hedgehog. His name sounds like radish. I’m never eating radish ever, ever again! This thing he put me in smells just like him. Eww! I’m gonna need an extra long bath to get this smell off me. If somehow, I have to see his face for all my life, I hope I get to punch him every time.

But he said he was… he was… OH NO! You better not do that meanie! Mommy and daddy would be very mad at you! Daddy is already mad at you. Just you watch! Daddy is going to save me, and he’s going to beat your meanie butt. Then I get to go home, and mommy can wash this nasty smell off me. Mommy. I hope mommy is ok.

…

“I’m going to ask one more time! WHERE! IS! MY! SON?”

“Calm down, Kakarot. He’s right over there, in my space pod.” He points to a hole. Keeping my eyes on my brother, I walk over to it. At the bottom is a ball like thing, and I could clearly see Gohan through the red glass. Daddy’s here, it’ll be ok. Daddy! I’m scared. I know, I know. Let me finish here, and we’ll go home to mommy.

…

Daddy’s here, it’ll be ok.

Daddy’s here! He came to save me! Oh, it sounds like that Piccolo guy is out there too. Is Piccolo helping daddy? Or the meanie man?

Sounds like daddy’s in pain! No! Don’t hurt my daddy! Don’t hurt him! Leave daddy alone! Don’t… Don’t…

“DON’T HURT MY DADDY!”

Uh? How did I get out? Wait! Where’s daddy? Daddy’s hurt. No daddy. Daddy I don’t wanna go away. I wanna be with you daddy. Mommy will make owies better. Daddy get…

…

Gohan! NOBODY HURTS GOHAN! With the last of my strength I finally grab Raditz. He’s trying to break free; begging for his life. I gave you a chance, and you didn’t take it. It’s one thing to take my kindness lightly, it’s another when you hurt my family. Nobody hurts my son, and I mean nobody!

Piccolo gives me the warning, and I brace myself for the pain. I can feel the blast burning through my skin. The pain is so unimaginable, and it keeps going as I feel it go through me. The moment I no longer feel my body, do I see the world around me drop. With the little strength I have, I try to feel out for Gohan’s ki. I need to know if he’s ok. Chichi would kill me if he’s hurt. Well, there’s a funny thought.

I then hear muffing around me. I force my eyes to open. It’s my friends. “Gohan?” I faintly hear Bulma saying he’s fine. “That’s good. Chichi won’t be mad at you guys.” I can barely see Krillin, and he’s crying. I couldn’t help joke about how dying hurts. My last thoughts are that Gohan is ok, and he’ll be with Chichi soon.

Well, hello? Where am I?

…

I wonder what’s taking Goku so long. I hope they’re ok. Uh, was that the doorbell. “Oh, hi dad! No, they’re not home yet.”

I hope they come home soon; dinner will be ready soon. Dad brought a lot of toys this time around. I better make more room. Oh my, Gohan finished his math book. I’m so proud of him. Oh, let me take a quick look. He’s pretty good at this. Maybe he should try being a scientist. That would be nice to have a scientist in the family.

If he keeps his studies up like this, he could be just about anything. Just thinking about the unless possibilities my son could be is so exciting. Oh, and his handwriting is getting better too. This is just so wonderful. My little Gohan is so talent. He makes me and Goku so proud. Oh, I almost forgot about dinner.

Dinner is ready and still no contact, and the sun has set. Dad tries to remind me that they’ll probably having so much fun. I understand that, but it’s super late. He could at least call, so I could hear my little Gohan. Or he could have contact me direct and told me he’s staying long. Is he really having that much fun, that he hasn’t even noticed my desperate calls? He hasn’t done that since that one time. Something must be wrong! I have to call Master Roshi! I need to know if my baby is ok!

Why won’t anyone answer the phone? I look to dad desperately pleading on what I should do. Me and Goku made a promise that if he has Gohan, out for too long, that he will contact me. Goku would never break a promise. Something is wrong with my baby! I tried calling a few more times and no answer. I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to the island and getting my baby back, and Goku is going to be in big trouble. You hear me mister! Big trouble!

…

Goku’s dead. Gohan been taken by that monster. Goku’s dead. Goku is… “NO! I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! WHERE’S MY HUSBAND? WHERE’S MY BABY BOY? ANSWER ME YOU DAMN COWARDS! LET GO OF ME DAD!” They’re lying, they just have to be. My Goku would, could, never die! My Goku is the strongest man on earth. Earth. Earth? He’s not from earth. My Goku isn’t human. I knew that, but… but alien? That’s impossible. It would make sense, but still one fact remines. “WHERE IS MY SON?”

They say Goku let that monster take him. They say Goku is allowing Piccolo to train my baby. There’s no possible way that’s true. Goku knows how I feel about that monster. Goku knows how I feel about Gohan doing any training. They have to be lying. But why would they lie to me? Did they let him take Gohan? It has to be the reason.

Don’t worry Gohan. Mommy is going to find you. “When is Goku supposed to be wish back?” One year? “Tell me something. Can you sense where my son is?” Krillin looks away, I’ll take that as a yes. “Is he ok?” He nodded. I know I’m nowhere strong enough to take my baby back by force, but I guess this will have to do. “Keep track of him!” I then grab Krillin by the collar. “And if he’s hurt you have to get him, and bring him to me! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” He timidly nods. I let him go. “Good. I’ll be back in one year.”

My son is alive, good. I don’t like any of this, but I have no choice. Don’t worry Gohan, mommy is going to try to save you. But if you are really hurt, I made Krillin promise to save you. Mommy loves you, and she’s going to find a way to get you back. That way, we can wait for daddy together.

Goku, wherever you are, please take care. Our baby is with that monster, and I feel so helpless. I really don’t want him to fight whatever is coming in a year. Please make it in time to save our baby. Get super strong Goku, and protect our baby boy.

With that I finally made it home, and I locked myself in my grandpa-in-law home. Here I let myself finally breakdown. I let all the emotions of the day go. Please! Grandpa Gohan! Make sure Goku is ok on that side! Make sure my Goku get strong! And that’s when I felt a warm hand on my back. There’s no one in the hut with me, but I let the hand comfort me. My Goku will be ok. With that I finally got on my feet, and got out. I have a lot of work to do.

[siofra-river]

You want to give us a list of your elden ring characters- maybe ranking them or giving a fun fact about each soooooooo bad. ouggghhhh

Ooh nooo I get to talk about my elden ring characters whatever will I doooo. Hehe ok sooo I’ve got a few but the main ones are . Aris, Orland, Benozil, Alacanth, Mikaelian, and Auriel (yes I know point and laugh)

Hmmm I guess a ranking of them could be like. Least to most evil. Least would probably be Alacanth, not really like super nice but won’t try to kill you and is just trying to fix things. Orland is pretty alright too, not really here to cause problems just wants to learn cool dragon incantations and eat hearts but people keep getting in his way, he’s the one I got the generic elden lord ending with. Next is Benozil, kind of depends on what part of her journey he’s at but more likely to avoid conflict and skirt around you than try to be an ass, unless you’re Varre. Auriel is in the middle, not really trying to make things worse in the lands between but definitely not making them better, doesn’t help he makes dung eater into a puppet, gross. I’d say Mikaelian is kinda up there, starts out mostly neutral but as they go along they just become more and more disillusioned with fixing things and becomes more cringe fail nihilistic. Aris is definitely the worst, uses really cruel weapons that cause bleed status, goes out of his way to kill every shard eater he can just because, goes the ending of the frenzied flame, and basically just sees most people as like ways to get what he wants. Like with the volcano manor killing everyone once he learned what he wanted to, and also made the dung eater into a puppet just for fun.

Fun fact about all of them I suppose. Aris is surprisingly strong, they can’t help looking wimpy though, albunaric and all. Alacanth will wag his tail like a cat when overstimulated/stressed. Orland got sharper teeth and small scales across his body after completing several dragon communion rituals. Benozil probably spends Atleast half an hour on makeup in the morning, lol. Auriel tried to hook up with both Marika and Radagon and it didn’t go well LMAO. Mikaelian’s curse didn’t manifest until Godwyn’s death.

Ummmmmm yeah

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Podoboo

Debut: Super Mario Bros.

Before I start this post, I’d like to clear something up. Podoboo? Yes, Podoboo! I’m well aware these enemies are often called Lava Bubbles and that’s the name Nintendo has been trying to make standardised these days, but you know what? You can’t make me! Podoboo is a lot cuter, plus its the name I grew up with and changes in society scare me and cause me to lash out! Maybe Lava Bubble is closer to the Japanese name of just “Bubble”, but since when has that been a factor in any of the localised names? Do you really want to refer as Lakitu as “Jugemu”, huh? I’ll have you know one of my civil rights as a citizen of Wet Dry World is to refer to Mario enemies with whichever official name I please. Like it or leave it!

So this is a post about Podoboo. Do you like Podoboo? I certainly Podo-do! They are perhaps the most generic design you could give to a Mario enemy, a visibly Dangerous Thing with two eyes, but they have always charmed me! It’s the little things, like their distinct shape and the fact their pupils are somewhat wider than most obstacles like this. They bring me comfort in dire times. No matter what happens, I know Podoboo will be there, jumping at a set height in a particular spot of lava! Without them I would be nothing! 

So simple is their design, isn’t it weird to think they started off as even simpler? The Podoboos in the first SMB game are completely blind, and with no eyes they may as well not be creatures at all! Of course, I’m very glad they are creatures, and their iconic behaviour was there from the start! They love to jump, of course! There is nothing they would rather be doing!

Awaken! As of Super Mario World, they have been gifted sight and are no longer blind to the sins of this world! Hurray! What do you think they see as they jump up and down? I’m surprised it doesn’t make them dizzy!

You’ll be glad to hear Podoboos have had an expansive career ever since, now with their new trademark eyes! After all, they are THE lava enemy! Anywhere you’ve got that tasty hot fire juice, these guys are soon to follow! Here they are in Super Mario RPG, called Sparkies here because they couldn’t make up their minds on a localized name and probably because they confused them with Li’l Sparkies. In Yoshi’s Story they even called them Spark Spooks! Geez, I’ll even take the name Lava Bubble over this! But doesn’t this render look nice and juicy?

Though any great career has its flops, and I have to say... I am usually the first to campaign for the unique designs from the first three Paper Marios, but I do not really like this Lava Bubble! This takes away from their distinct Mario-y charm and makes them look like a Fire Enemy you could find in any other game! Though in the RPGs they are able to float around without needing any lava, the ones in Super Paper Mario act just like the platformer ones, jumping around despite not looking like they should be doing that! Ok!

The Podoboo from New Super Mario Bros. DS just wasn’t trying very hard at all. Come on! They could’ve it a bit more justice than this! 

Ah, there we go! The Podoboos in New Super Mario Bros. Wii decided to finally stop messing about and go back to what everyone loved from them in Super Mario World. I encourage experimenting with your identity, of course, but it’s good to be back, and now they are more mortal than ever! A single shot from an Ice Flower is enough to instantly vaporize a Podoboo in a puff of smoke, which is a bit scary! Are they really just pure fireballs that can be put out just like that? What a frightening life to live!

And in Super Mario Galaxy 2, they... hey, wait!! You took away their eyes again! Now you are just being inconsiderate. This outraged me as a kid! One of my most vivid memories of playing this game with my brother involved chanting “Podoboo rights! They deserve eyes!” because this upset me so much. Maybe my past as an activist is why I am so passionate about Mario enemies these days... I think I was 100 percent correct in hindsight, and now you know some of my backstory, too!

What relief it gave me to find out they were back to their usual selves in 3D Land! And they have been ever since, of course getting redesigned for the modern Paper Mario games and everything. 

What’s this? Blue Podoboos! Podo-blues, even...! They show up in 3D World, in its incredibly cool-looking blue lava levels! It’s a well known fact that blue fire is objectively cooler than red fire, and it seems even the Podoboos wanted in on the action! Blue Lava is an actual phenomenon I’ve just learnt, though it’s a sulfuric fire rather than lava. Could it be that Podoboos, being made entirely of lava, adapt to their environment? I’m not sure...

As an aside, the blue Lava Bubbles aren’t to be confused with Lava Bubble (Blue), which are from Mario Galaxy and show up during King Kaliente’s fight! They hop around on the ground and have square-ish eyes, which is enough to make them different I guess!

The Podoboo’s next big appearance, in Super Mario Odyssey, was in Soup! Yes you heard me- Soup! Some delightfully pepto-bismol pink coloured soup, no less. This is why I wasn’t too sure about Podoboo’s being able to adapt to their environment earlier- the Luncheon Kingdom is a big soup volcano after all, but the fact these Lava Bubbles are able to live in it is very interesting!

There is simply no way I would talk about Odyssey here without talking about possibly its greatest achievement, the best game design decision ever made! After decades of begging from fans, they finally did the impossible- they made Podoboo playable! Now it is Podo-you! It is quite unlike the other captures in the game, since it keeps the Podoboo’s simple-looking eyes and simply adds onto it a nose and a mustache! You may very well be the world’s first Podoboo with a sense of smell! I wonder if that is a benefit or not. The constant smell of soup might be a bit overpowering. 

Not only is this delightful, but it gives us more insight into the life of the humble Podoboo. First of all is the fact that they can swim around in lava, not just jump in one spot! Do you think they do this when we aren’t looking? I really hope so! Imagine a school of Podoboos swimming through molten lava in a castle’s moat. How delightful! 

The Luncheon Kingdom is also home to a number of Lava cannons, marked with a Podoboo’s lovely face. These are cannons for only for Podoboos to launch themselves across the kingdom, from one body of lava to another! My question is whether this was technology made by Podoboos themselves or whether it was made by some generous Podoboo lovers as some lava equivalent to the Fish Tube. I think I would take either explanation! 

And last I have a Podoboo appearance that even I, the world’s biggest Podoboo fan, didn’t know about! Paper Mario Color Splash has a Big Lava Bubble boss which speaks with you through a Shy Guy translator! It is quite upset that you barged into its volcano and decided to change the temperature. Mario, of course, kills it anyway, and also the Shy Guy translator without a second thought.

Still, just take a look at this sprite sheet! How cute! A little disappointing that they thinned out the eyes, but wow! They more than make up for it with this range of expressions! An angry Podoboo! A sad Podoboo! And my personal favorite is of course the shocked Podoboo with its assymetrical dot eyes, which might be one of the best things I’ve ever seen. 

To be honest, I could talk about Podoboo forever! If you didn’t stop me, I would go on all day about their every appearance, but I kind of had to limit myself to some of the most relevant ones. I just think they’re neat! And cute! And silly! Besides, I’m Mod F Boy, so I’m basically obliged to talk about fireballs with eyes! But for now I must bid you Pod-adieu! 

...Not! What, did you really believe me? Well you clicked the Keep Reading button, so you only have yourself to blame for this. Here I am talking about more Lava Bubbles from all over, because Lava Bubble’s career has taken it BEYOND the Mario series! Wow!

Podoboo’s had quite a few appearance in the Zelda series, appearing in Link’s Awakening, both the Oracle games, and even Cadence of Hyrule! Their Zelda wiki page is still called Podoboo instead of Lava Bubble, which means those Zelda fans have it better than we do. But wow, this is a pretty angry looking Podoboo! I wouldn’t mess with them! 

Both the Oracle games even had a Podoboo Tower! Amazing! They look quite a lot like a Fire Snake, but they are simply a tower of Podoboos! Why don’t they do this more often?

Hm... The Cadence of Hyrule one doesn’t have any eyes. Come on guys! It’s 2019! Podoboos having eyes should be standard! Though they still made the conscious decision to call them “Podoboos” in 2019, so I can’t be too mad. 

And they have even spread to Minecraft! In the Mario Mash-up Pack, they replace the Magma Cube enemies, and really there was no better choice for this. And now we have a Podoboo Cube! What more could possibly be left for Podoboo?

The answer is obvious- Podoboo in real life! Thanks to a certain Lego Mario set, Podoboo is now real and can be in your home for the small price of 19,99 US dollars. Please give a Podoboo a home today! Just make sure you don’t own anything flammable. 

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 13 “When She Finally Leaves” [Episode List] Dana spends the whole day at Dave’s place. When the girl leaves, Tim, who’s now Dave’s roommate, finds out how much gas a man can hold in just to not look gross in front of a girl.

When She Finally Leaves

In the last few weeks I’ve been spending more and more nights at Dave’s place, whether because I needed a place to work, write my essays, or simply to spend some quality time watching bad films and drinking beer. It was Dave himself to ask me to “marry him” (as he jokingly put it), basically becoming official roommates, which also meant dividing our tasks and obviously splitting the rent.

And honestly we were having a great time. We both had jobs, fortunately, which were not much but they did pay taxes for now and it was overall a great experience. Friend or not, Dave is an excellent roommate, being pretty good at cooking and organising chores; the same could be said for me actually, though in some cases we have our own preferences; for example Dave prefers cooking (the fact that I’m bad at it it’s purely coincidental) so we agreed I’ll be the one doing the dishes.

We also had our buds crashing over what is now *our* place a couple of times, which resulted in more bad films and beer, or even nerd stuff such as gaming together. Of course however, the person who most often came over is obviously Dana, Dave’s girlfriend. She’s pretty cool though we don’t really hang out with her when Dave’s not around, though as I said she’s pretty easy-going.

Tonight we’ve been watching a trash movie. Yes, the three of us. Don’t worry, I was a welcome addition today. Dave would usually just tell me to leave for a few hours if sex was on the table (sometimes literally on the table, the one where we eat our food…) as we respect each others enough to just be straightforward whenever we needed some privacy. Tonight however it was just chilling like three friends hanging out together (knowing however that Dave would just give me a signal should things get more heated up you know).

We were in the living room. I was on an armchair, working on my laptop, despite the poor wi-fi. On the long wide couch beside me, Dave and Dana chilling and watching the movie with more attention than me, my bud’s left arm around his girlfriend, sometimes making remarks on how bad it was. We all had a can of beer, because of course we did.

The couple brought some takeouts for dinner, some fast-food a few blocks from here (Dana’s idea, actually, which we were both thankful for). Dave, chilling next to Dana, was wearing his signature casual outfit: a grey shirt and pair of dark blue loose jeans, details that my gay-ass eyes immediately noticed and more than once stared at.

“Oh wow the helicopter just blew up I’m speechless.” Dave said, sarcastically.

“A Subversive Masterpiece: that’s what they were going for when they wrote this.” Dana added, and they both chuckled.

I also did my fair share of sarcastic remarks though work got most of my attention, even though it was nothing urgent, just me trying to get some stuff done as fast as possible.

“Did the shark just wink at him?” my bro commented.

“They’re best friends now.” his girlfriend explained. What a great film.

After 15 more minutes the movie ended with the three of us clapping at a shot of a man and a shark exchanging a look of gratitude to each other, as the Sun set into the never-ending ocean. Drugs played a big role into the making of this move I’m 100% sure.

“Well, that was enlightening, but I gotta head back home. The Uber’s almost here.” Dana said, as she got up and reached for her purse and some other stuff.

“You’re really sure about that? Come on, stay here for the night.” Dave suggested. “I taught Tim to play dead. We can throw food at him.” he then joked.

“I can also bring you the newspaper upstairs, tomorrow morning.” I played along.

Dana chuckled in response. “I’m sure you’ll win the next contest you two, but I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.”

The couple walked towards the front door. The entrance was next to the living room, a few steps behind the couch. Dave and I sometimes darkly joked that any assassin could easily ambush us because whenever we’re on the couch anyone could sneak into the house behind us, with enough care (we then prefer to drink about it).

“Call me when you get home.” Dave said and the two shared a quick kiss.

In the meantime I moved on the bigger (and more comfortable) couch, more or less in Dana’s spot, as I also have better wi-fi reception there. I left my laptop on the small table in front of me because apparently all of my laptops have to be shitty and take some time to even the most basic stuff. As I inspected the wi-fi icon flashing on the screen, I heard Dave shutting the door and walking back to the couch. After a few steps his tall figure was already towering over me.

“Yeah the reception is pretty bad lately.” he commented, and then collapsed next to me.

Only a few seconds and he already had that well-known smirk drawn on his face; he then quickly adjusted his position. He completely laid down, extended his demin-clad legs, with his left one resting on the back of the couch, ending right behind my neck. In a moment, Dave ended up showing off his loose, almost-sagging jeans-clad ass directly next to me, as his legs trapped me into a gentle yet strong grip. Seeing both that “wall” made of jeans and my bro’s smirk at the same time was a sight I never truly got used to. He was just lying there, next to me, with his ass pointed at me, as if it was one big prank, even though he knew exactly how much I enjoyed that.

“Bro you’re ready?” he asked, still sporting that smirk.

When even Dave goes as far as asking me if I’m ready, then I knew that the fart was going to be gargantuan. And I realized why: Dana has been with us and my bro the entire day, so it’s possible that Dave just held all of his gas in for hours. We all experienced this, then when the girl leaves, men get to “relax”. Other than that, Dave had tons of beer and junk food. I stared at that denim butt, for the first time almost scared of what my bud was capable of; I knew a fart was coming, and I knew it was going to be big.

But what Dave said next really once again confirmed how chill he is around me.

“Believe me: you might want to get closer for this one.” he said, laughing a bit.

He sported weirdly reassuring smile, Dave’s millionth attempt at saying “It’s ok, Tim.” as he probably noticed now nervous I became when he assumed that pose.

The teasing bastard then went full bully on me and simply reached for my head with his long right arm and gently pulled me down, as if I was bowing to that still silent denim-clad ass. I just heard him laugh like an idiot, as it usually happens. Despite my head being down and in front of that ass, I could still see Dave’s face and that smirk. He raised his eyebrows and half-closed his eyes as he started pushing, but he didn’t need to put all that effort into ripping that blast.

It’s like the fart was barely contained in the first place: it immediately exploded with a loud sound right into my face. Dave closed his eyes and kept his smirk as the blast probably surprised him as well. It was low-pitched and dry, a completely natural gas-eruption that sounded like an engine. The stench was unbearable, a mixture of beer and junk food, surprise to no one.

While farting, Dave adjusted his position as bit, spreading his legs bit more, with my face getting almost planted into that denim-clad butt as he effortlessly kept ripping that immense flatulence. Hours and hours of gas being erupted as if I was in front of a dormant volcano that just woke up. And I feared that “hours” was what he was going for ‘cause after 20 seconds the fart didn’t even lose power.

Dave still had this smirk drawn on his face and occasionally stared down at me as he completely destroyed my face and nose with his incredible farting skills, skills that constantly let me speechless, fetish or not. He was the fart master, a showoff with a manly talent that I could only bow to and endure in the hop-

“Sorry, I forgot my house keys.”

The fart immediately stopped and it all went silent: It was Dana.

Dave turned his head to his girlfriend, greeting her with the stupidest smile you can think of.

“Oh stay there no worries, they’re right here.” I heard Dana say as she reached for keys, probably hanging right next to the door, my face still almost planted in my friend’s denim ass. That felt surreal.

I completely froze (not that I could move) but I knew that she couldn’t see me (just like I couldn’t see her) as I was lying down. All she could see from where she was standing was Dave’s head and his right leg resting on the back of the couch, since the entrance was behind our couch.

I was terrified, while Dave was doing his best not laugh like an idiot.

“What’s so funny?” Dana asked, laughing a bit herself, definitely noticing her boyfriend being weird.

My teasing bro quickly glanced down at me, almost losing it (and still holding holding the fart in, which didn’t stop the smell from burning my nostrils).

“N-nothing’” he stuttered. That’s it, he was gonna laugh like an idiot.

“Okay” I heard Dana, not really convinced of the boyfriend’s answer though.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then we heard a car honk, thank goodness.

“Oh… it’s my Uber. Bye!” the girl said, quickly leaving the house and shutting the door behind her.

Another moment of silence followed, Dave still staring at the entrance. I was shaking, I was legitimately scared that someone was gonna find out, which was weird given the hotness I was experiencing in that moment, even without the fart being ripped.

“Ok… where were we?” Dave asked, turning back to me, with a smirk. “Oh yeah!”

And he effortlessly resumed farting, just as loud, proud and powerful as it was before the interruption, directly into my face. The terror I experienced moments before was blown away by that incredibly blast and me being rock-hard, as it usually happens when Dave showoffs his gassy talent around me, or on me.

Dozens of seconds passed and at this point Dave just played along. He nodded at me, faking a serious expression, as if he was listening to something actually interesting instead of his own loud fart still going on strong; after about ten more seconds he checked the time on his wrist-watch and acted surprised, then stared down at me as if he wanted to say “damn that is long!”. We both however actually lost the track of time and he simply relaxed as if I wasn’t even in front of his ass, all while the fart was still being blasted in my face.

Dave then reached for my head again and gently pushed it inches closer to his roaring ass, and I felt the vibrations of his rip all over my face: it was literally an earthquake.

How long was it lasting? More than 1 minute perhaps? How much gas can a man hold in? Dave certainly was pushing for a record. All I knew is that I felt privileged witnessing that, even though I was beyond being a mere witness since no particle of gas missed my eyes and nostrils.

However (finally, actually), the fart seemingly started to lose power, the once-continuous sound starting to “stutter” and turning more into a fast series of loud farts, fired back-to-back. The show (because that’s what it was: a show) ended with a loud, 5 seconds blast, and Dave’s laughter.

I slowly got up, sweaty, my nose burning, with a startled look to which my bro reacted with another immature cackle. I was now sitting next to him as I was before, and looked back at my bud, who in the meantime re-adjusted his pose. He was still lying down, still kind of showing off his loose-sagging ass, but in a less “menacing” way: now he was just chilling.

“When’s Dana coming over again?” I joked. I mustered all the courage I had left to say that. I was impressed by the fact that I could still speak considering that all of my blood probably flooded my boner at that point.

Dave laughed at that lame joke, thank goodness. “As if I need Dana to blast you like this.”

He raised one leg, again showing off his sagging denim ass in my direction. He quickly sucked some air in and after a few moments and weird noises a loud 6 seconds fart erupted. For his standards, that’s basically a weak one.

My friend just casually joking and bragging about facefarting me and then farting on command to prove it made me lose it, as I felt my boner… dampening. He didn’t notice it but he knew that I had a hard-on, that’s for sure.

I didn’t want to just rush into the bathroom so I just stared at my laptop, still on the table, in front of me: the wi-fi signal was stronger than ever. I jokingly like to think that Dave’s blast was so powerful it actually influenced the signal somehow and improved it.

I turned to my bud, still lying on his side of the couch, just checking his phone and being… casually hot.

“Thanks man.” I said, not for the wi-fi though.

He lowered his phone, revealing a blank reaction “Really?” he said, rolling his eyes, with a bored expression. “Stop being cringe and do the dishes.”

Fuck, I totally forgot about those. We had takeout food but we still used some of our dishes. I immediately got up and rushed to the kitchen, hoping that Dave was distracted by his phone enough to not notice by boner through my sweatpants.

Once in the kitchen, a place that wasn’t tainted by Dave’s gas, my nostrils could still feel my bro’s fart-stench. That’s how soaked up in his gas I was. Even my ears needed some time to adjust to the silence, now that I didn’t have a deafening fart being ripped right into my skull. 

And I just knew that this wasn’t the last time this was gonna happen. I’m Dave’s roommate, and being roomies means we have to divide our tasks: he’s the farter, I’m the sniffer.

End of Episode 13