#i like to watch starbucks employees panic when i tell them my name is either béla or lugosi and they have to figure out

[atropalugosi]

also this is so far outta left field but it's important to me. got lotsa new mutuals and friends lately and with how often my name is mispronounced by new people, i figured i'll just give y'all the phonetic reading so you can say it properly in your heads when you see my posts <3

loo-go-shee

[yandere-society]

Yandere!CEO!Taehyung who is either obsessed with his assistant who is going to work for another Yandere!Ceo (Like Jungkook) or a coffee store owner where he gets his coffee from but the store is moving to a new town

I got lost in the sauce bc I recently watched The Devil Wears Prada and I saw ‘assistant’ and ‘ceo’ and I went off.  Hope you don’t mind :)

Admin/Writer- Chinkbihh

Words- 6.7k

Trigger Warnings- Sadism, verbal abuse, yandere Taehyung

Actually, The Devil Wears Gucci

 You had always thought that ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ was an over exaggeration of what a boss/assistant relationship could be.  

Until you met Mr. Kim.

Meryl Streep as a boss would’ve been an angel compared to the monster who signed your paychecks now. 

 You had moved to the city with the assumption that jobs would be readily available for your plucking, however not even Mcdonalds was willing to call back for an interview.  After living three weeks in the city without a job, you told yourself that you would apply to anything and everything you came across before resorting to less admirable means of getting money. So when you came across a job position for being an assistant to some company, you had half-heartedly sent an application- no expectations for getting any response. 

 Apparently, this place was more desperate than you for it took exactly two hours before some nice lady was calling you and begging for an interview. This should have been the first red flag, for what kind of office job was more eager than a fast food chain? However the pay was nice and you weren’t in any position to shrug off potential employers, thus you agreed to come in.

 The following day you arrived at the company and sat down with the woman from over the phone, answering her questions with as much integrity as you could muster.  You were answering the stream of questions with ease until one odd one came up.

 “Are you fast?”  She asked not once looking up from her little clipboard.  The question threw you off guard.

“I-I’m sorry, what are you referencing?”  Your confident mask faltered for a second due to your inability to understand what the fuck she meant.  

“You’re going to be asked to make runs to the most random places throughout the city under harsh time crunches, do you think you could do that?”  She seemed sympathetic as she said this, as if she really didn’t want to put you through that.

 This should have been another red flag, but all that popped into your head was coffee runs.  

You just nodded, sure you could do some running around to get some wealthy people a couple cappuccinos for their ‘productive’ meetings. 

 “Are you sensitive?”  

Your eyebrow rose on its’ own accord and before your mouth could open to ask for more context, the interviewer interjected by saying;

 “Our CEO is a very…um, blunt man.  Some people don’t like that personality type so we rather avoid employing someone who will crumble under that pressure.” This was yet another red flag. 

 One that you didn’t bother looking at as you just smiled and told her, “I promise to keep my emotions out of the professional scene here.”

–

‘Blunt’ turned out to be a really watered down version for what the CEO actually was; a heartless bastard with no concept of empathy.  You later felt backstabbed by the interviewer (Irene was her name) for downplaying such a demon. But you could understand her incentive to not scare you off, how else would they get any employees if everyone knew about the CEO’s true behavior?  

After your brief interview, Irene declared you more than adequate enough for the position.  She decided to show you around before your first day the following week. 

The office was modern and chic with everyone seated at different sections depending on their department.  You got the sense that it was an elaborate operation given the high-rise location of the office floor and the expensive furniture. Even the fucking coffee maker at the cafeteria was more costly than your rent.  Despite the modern and voguish environment, all the employees Irene introduced you to seemed amicable and kind enough. You did however notice the slight eye widen whenever Irene told them that you were going to be “Mr. Kim’s new assistant.”  

There was something that no one was telling you, but everyone knew. 

 You didn’t discover what it was until Irene walked you over to a door and told you that it was time to meet the man you’d be working for.  

“It’s very important that you knock everytime.  Walking in without warning will make him furious.”  Irene gently told you as she raised her hand to knock on the mahogany door.  

However before her small fist could make contact with it, the door was ripped open from the other side and a girl rushed out in such speed you could barely catch her face. 

 The one thing you did catch though was the blotched mess it was with tear streaks running down it. You heard her sobs sound behind you and get further and further away as she ran out of the office.  You thought you heard a muttered; “insensitive jerk” as she passed by.

 Irene side-glanced you and gave you an awkward smile.  It was obvious that she didn’t even know what to do. “Um…sorry about that.  R-Rose has always been a bit of a crybaby.”

 She was a bad liar. 

 Irene leaned forward in the now open doorway and called out, 

“Mr. Kim?  Is it alright if I come in?” A grunt was heard but this was all the confirmation she needed before taking your hand and leading you inside.

The office was large with the outer wall being all glass, revealing the sky-line of the other tall skyscraper buildings in the city.  The walls were white but every piece of furniture was black, from the tiny lounge sofa pushed to the side to the very frames the abstract paintings were held in.  In the center of such room was a large grey granite desk that held a golden name plate that clearly read; Kim Taehyung (CEO).

Behind the desk stood your new boss as he ruffled his hair in frustration. 

 His messy strands were icy blue that contrasted the copper shade of his complexion, the sun having seemingly adored his skin but the top of his head favoring the cold. (Or hair dye, but that’s none of your business.) He was tall with a broad torso, yet he was slender.  His olympian body was clad in a suit that you dared not ponder the price of, knowing it could only end with you in tears. His intense and dark brows were pinched forward in annoyance, below them were his egyptian-like eyes that held raven colored orbs ignited with a fire you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of.  His face was slender but his features were anything but. His nose being fleshy but straight and his lips being plushy and berry-red. Spotted on his face were tiny beauty marks that were spaced enough to form a miniature constellation.

He looked up at Irene and scowled, “I told her to get Park Jimin for a meeting and the dumbass calls Park Chanyeol on accident.  Now I have to deal with this dumbo eared giant in the lobby who can’t take a fucking hint that I’m not selling any of his shitty products on my line.”  He grumbled with a surprisingly gravely voice that was so deep it sounded like the devil. 

 You connected the dots with the poor girl who ran out of the room only seconds prior, assuming he fired her or at least yelled at her very brutally.  He huffed once more and sat down in his velvet chair by the desk and finally bothered to give you a glance, just now noticing the person next to Irene.  

“Whose this?  Don’t tell me it’s another brainless bimbo.”  

He spoke of you like you weren’t in the room, which caused your brow to tick in annoyance. 

 Irene nervously cleared her throat and said, “This is Y/n, she is your new personal assistant.” 

 His face was unreadable and stony as he gave you a scrutinizing gaze, looking up and down your form to drink you in. 

 You wanted to shift nervously under his piercing eyes, but you didn’t want to be another ‘Rose’ for him to berate so you kept your calm.  Something just told you that he fed off fear. 

Then he spoke, “Go to Starbucks and get me a caramel macchiato.”

 He didn’t look away from you, clearly addressing you.

Irene bristled beside you, “S-sir, she doesn’t start until-”

You cut her off with a grin as you stared right back Mr. Kim, “I’ll get right on that.  Hot or iced and what size?” -

-

Kim Taehyung was a monster.

His source of nutrition?  

The souls, hope and energy of those mere mortals around him.

  In a way it was awe inducing how brilliant that man was. As much hatred people may have for him, one could not deny Taehyung his respect.  It took a lot of hard work to get to where he had gotten at the young age of 23. But that did not shake the asshole regime his employees had to suffer through. 

 He wanted what he wanted, when he wanted it and exactly how he wanted it.  And if you couldn’t deliver upon such demands? Then off with your head and pray you never cross Kim Taehyung ever again. 

 Taehyung was not a boss who would pull one aside and quietly break the news that your services aren’t needed anymore.  No. He’ll scream it infront of everyone in the middle of a conference meeting and throw in a list of reasons why you should reevaluate your life for good measure.  

People bent so easily to him, submitted without question.  What was once a quiet and calm scene of friendly employees will swiftly change into a frenzied mess at a drop of a hat whenever Mr. Kim walked by.  

Panic would cause people to make copies of copies in fear that they’ll forget the important documents they needed to give him. People would leave elevators once Mr. Kim entered, always granting him his own ride to the top floor no matter how late they were running.  People only spoke when spoken to during meetings and when a deadline wasn’t met, they simply didn’t show up to work anymore due to the fear of facing the CEO. 

However there was a special infereno for the role of his personal assistant, one that you suffered everyday. 

 You caught on quick that he enjoyed giving you nearly impossible tasks, and he cared not about how stressful or absurd the demands were.

 “Coffee and bagel on my desk in 10 minutes or you’re fired.”

“Go downtown and get me those dumplings I like, be back in fifteen.”

“Go pick up my dry-cleaning and set up an appointment for a message at that one sauna in the west side.”  

“Get me the new Gucci robe or don’t bother coming in to work tomorrow.”  

“I got an urge to have a dog, go get one for me by 4’oclock.”

“The dog you got me threw up in my living room, here’s the spare key so you can clean it up.  Clean the rest of the place while you’re at it too.”

“I want a private jet…figure that out.”

“The tire popped off on my car on the way here.  Go pop it back on, it’s two blocks down.”

“Call Jung Hoseok and cancel our dinner plans, tell him he’s an asshole and his mother is a whore.”  

The last request was something he asked often of you, he particularly liked you sending over really vulgar messages to people.  

One time he caught you trying to sugar coat something over the phone and called you into his office to have a ‘talk.’

“Y/n, I believe I told you to to tell Mr. Lee that he could call back when he’s done with his head being up his ass.” 

 He menacingly glared at you as you tried your best to keep a straight face. “What did you say instead?” 

“I-I told Mr. Lee that you would further communicate with him once you deem him more aware and intelligent.” 

 He chuckled and rolled his eyes.  “Funny, that sounds a lot different that ‘get your head out of your ass’.”  

It was silent for a moment and you really wondered if you were going to lose your job just because you didn’t tell someone to shove it up where the sun don’t shine.  

Mr. Kim sat back in his seat and barked out, “When I tell you to curse at someone, you do it.  I don’t care who it is. It can be the fucking queen of England and you’ll call her a cunt if I order you to.  Now get out of my office and make yourself useful by fetching me a coffee.”

Now you didn’t flinch when you called other wealthy business people with cursing insults in hand.

  –

A month had passed and you had slowly become the longest working personal assistant for Kim Taehyung. 

 Other employees informed you that the longest run before you was three weeks and two days and the girl ended with a mental breakdown in the bathroom.  

When they asked you how you managed to tolerate all of Mr. Kim’s demands whilst not getting landed on your ass with him firing you, you tried your best to explain your strategy. 

 You weren’t getting paid to give your opinions. 

So whenever he ordered you to get him something under nearly impossible time limits, you just kept your mouth shut and ran off to compete that insane task. 

 It was hard given he never gave you establishment names of the places he wanted stuff from, it was always given in terms of “that out place in the east side.” “That one restaurant I like.” “That one gallery I visited last time with Jin.”  

And you always only had a short time frame to figure out where he is talking about, go there and get what he wanted, and return back before his timer went off. Sprinting down the busy sidewalks of the city had become a daily thing that was required of you.  

You would go out on these runs 3-4 times a day and do ridiculous calls about 5-6 times a day. Sometimes Mr. Kim would have this look on his face as he told you of your newest assignment, as if he anticipated your objection because even he knew how absurd his demands were.

  But you never gave him that satisfaction, knowing that he will get the upper hand and possibly fire you if you interjected in any way. 

So you would just always smile and tell him that you were right on it. 

–

Kim Taehyung rather enjoyed studying you.  

When he first caught sight of you, he couldn’t help but think you were very attractive.  Yet this didn’t cause his heart to grow fond of you at all. In fact it was almost a negative given all the pretty assistants he had in the past turned out to be dumbest. 

Yet in a matter of a few weeks, you managed to prove him wrong and exceed previously set expectations.  

He knew he was an ass.  And he wanted his assistants to know that when they first met him, never would he want to give a first impression of being a lax or laid back boss.  So maybe he went out of his way to make things a tad more…stressful for you.

  Taehyung couldn’t deny the slight surprise every time you simply responded with that cute grin of yours and pulled off every task that he even doubted was possible.

  After a few weeks of this, Taehyung was forced to acknowledge the fact that you were here to stay as you have proven yourself more than capable.

 But that didn’t mean he stopped fucking with you.

No, if anything he did it even more.  

He found it so adorable to view that expression of yours when you were faced with yet another idiotic obstacle he set up for you.  The slight incoming blush as your face reddened with a frustration that you dared not utter. The pursing of your lips as if you were forcing yourself not to object.  The delightful eye widen when he told you to make vulgar calls. That funny little eyebrow twitch you did when he gave you an especially difficult command. And your pathetic little attempt to mask your displeasure by plastering on an innocent smile and chirping, “Sure, I’ll get right on that.” 

 It was better than any comedy Taehyung could’ve paid to watch. 

 Taehyung was well aware of his own sadistic tendencies, therefore it made sense that he would have an odd sense of satisfaction from pestering you. 

 However the endgame most sadists had never came true in this case; you never broke. He witnessed many assistants crumble under him; whether it be by crying, screaming at him or just plain storming out. 

 He always won in the end, his trophy being their crack in sanity and composure. But you were stubborn.  

You refused to let him get to you.  Maybe that’s why he found himself slightly dumbfounded by you.  You swallowed your pride and did his bidding with a dog-like obedience that you obviously faked.  Yet you never cracked and humored him with a spontaneous rebellion to his dictatorship, you followed along but masked yourself just enough to have him thirsty to hear your actual thoughts and feelings.  

He didn’t realize just how far his fascination went until he found himself at a club on a Saturday night, sat in the VIP lounge with Kim Namjoon to his left and Kim Seokjin to his right. 

 They were sat at a U-shaped booth that was dimly lit and above the chaotic dancefloor that sounded below, their elevated position giving them a glamorous view of the most famous club in the city.

“Let me get this straight, your plan is to blackmail your cousin into signing off on this deal?”  Namjoon clarified while pouring the trio drinks.

 Taehyung shrugged and raised the glass that was handed to him up to his mouth, sniffing the over-priced alcohol before taking a chug of it.  “Why not? Business isn’t meant to be all clean and squeaky.”

 “Still, you’re out of your mind if you think your uncle isn’t going to get you after this.”  Jin retorted from Taehyung’s other side.

 “Jin, don’t think that I don’t know how you avoided giving your tax statements to the IRS.”  Taehyung bit back, not liking the hypocritical behavior of his comrades.

All the men at that particular booth were wealthy ceos who ran as kings in this particular city.  Taehyung wasn’t sure if he liked the term ‘friends’ but at the very least he considered Namjoon and Seokjin as allies in the cruel world of business.  He tolerated the two more than he did most. 

The discussion went on for another hour of so, drinks fading Taehyung’s mind as the man’s speech became increasingly more and more slurred with every topic they covered.  These topics ranging from the current market to interesting endeavors they have faced lately in their line of work. The drinks continued to pour, the bottles were bottomless for such rich men.  His inhibitions were lowered as well as his morals (what little there was left for him). 

He didn’t quite know how or when she ended up in his lap, but he did nothing to push her off. 

 All the molasses covered words she purred into his ear seemed all too appealing.

Her hold on him was instantaneous, something about her screamed a comfortable sense of familiarity that he couldn’t deny for the life of him.

The rest of the night was blurry, but a clear conclusion formed when Taehyung woke up the next morning with a stranger in his bed.

  –

She looked like you. 

 Alot.  

The resemblance was striking and uncanny.  

From her (color) hair, to her docile little features, to the figure shape and even the height. 

 If you had a twin sister, Taehyung was positive that he just fucked her into oblivion. 

 Taehyung had awoken the next morning with a feeling of arms around his waist and another body sharing his satin sheets.  This was not necessarily a new sensation given he had his own fair share of one night stands. But he was not prepared for what he saw when he rolled around to see which nameless woman it was this time.

For a moment, his groggy mind couldn’t comprehend that it was not you, for his brain simply matched up the looks very easily and deduced it as such.  

However after a moment of closer inspection, he noticed that it was a doppelganger but not the real you. The alikeness only took up his mind for a brief moment before he was forced to spot something else while studying the intruder.  

She had bruises. 

 Hand marks around her neck, blotchiness of getting spanked on her ass, love bites that were borderline black littered her body and those ruby stained lips were swollen and cracked from assault of the mouth. 

Taehyung was taken aback by the sight of such brutal violence that marked her otherwise smooth and unbothered skin. 

 If he didn’t know any better, he would have assumed that this girl was the victim of abuse. Yet the fact that she was in his bed had lead to the conclusion that he himself must’ve been responsible for such injuries.  

He always knew that he was rough in bed, but he never went as far as he clearly did last night with this woman.  

It was jaw dropping and a twinge of guilt even glimmered in his otherwise dead heart.  

He must’ve put this girl through hell itself last night just to satisfy his sick primal needs.  And later when he made his way to his kitchen (after telling his maid to wake the girl up and kick her out) an alarming thought bestowed upon him that was too spot-on and shameless for it not to be true.

  It was no coincidence that the one girl he slept whom held so much resemblance to you lead to the wildest night that unleashed his true sadism like it never had been before.

  His intoxicated self had connected the dots for him to face when he sobered up.

He wanted to leave those marks and bruises on you…not her.  

–

Your body was failing you.  

The moment you woke up that morning, a sense of doom was in the air as you discovered your nose was stuffed, throat sore and stomach uneasy.  You were sick.

 If God had granted you a nicer boss who understood the human body and the occasional decline in health, perhaps you would’ve called in for a sick day.  But asking Kim Taehyung for a sick day was like asking the Devil to read a bible….you might as well have just asked for a gruesome death. Taehyung didn’t believe in sick days and you were not in the mood to begin another fruitless job search, so you decided to take some aspirin and soldier on to the office. 

 “Coffee, bagel…you know the drill.”  Was the first words Mr. Kim greeted you with when you entered his office for the morning rundown.  He seemed oddly quiet this morning and he refused to look up at you from his desk. Which was somewhat concerning given he always glared up at you whenever he barked out his demands.  You simply nodded and attempted to shrug off this break in character before going off to make your first run of the day.

 When you returned with the usual coffee and bagel in hand, you discovered that Taehyung was not in his office at all.  You stepped out in search of him and Irene seemed to notice your struggle before telling you; “Oh, he didn’t tell you? He’s in a meeting right now with Mr. Jeon.  Check the conference room.” 

You quickly thanked her and made your way over to said room.  

You swung the door open to see two men (one being Mr. Kim and the other being yet another handsome but youthful man in a suit) talking with hushed tones that held a underlying vibe of anger.  

“Taehyung don’t fucking try me I swear to-”

“I’m not trying anything, Jungkook.  I think you got a little comfortable with your position without keeping in mind how you got there.”

“Excuse me?  Was this your plan all along-”The other man (who must’ve been Mr. Jeon) suddenly stopped talking as he noticed your form standing by the now ajar doorway. 

 This caused your boss to turn and face what took the other’s attention from the conversation at hand. Taehyung looked at you with a scowl plastered on his aristocratic face, eyes ruthless as they bored right through you. 

 You froze in place as your blood ran cold.  

You realised too late that you had made a mistake.

You were in trouble.  

“What the fuck did I say about knocking?!  You worthless bitch, does your stupidity know of no bounds?”  Taehyung snarled, causing your stomach to drop.

 “I-I just wanted to give you the coffee and-” 

He cut you off, “Details of your incompetence do not interest me.”  

Maybe it was because you were sick that your emotions were a tad more sensitive than usual, but for the first time you felt your eyes sting with the incoming tears that welled up in your vision.  Your body already felt beat but now your self-esteem took a plummet as well. Taehyung continued to glare at you but you tried to blink the tears away before they could fall.

 “I-I’m sorry.”  You stuttered before rushing to plop his food onto the table before him and scurry out of the room.  

–

Your brain was pounding as if a hammer was rutting against it with a vengeance.  Your stomach was twisted in knots as your throat screamed for some type of soother for the scratchy ache it was suffering. You sniffed once more and attempted to focus on the task at hand, answering calls left for the office, but your lids kept dropping due to your drowsy state.  You still were licking your wounds after what had happened earlier that morning, for the first time on this job- you fucked up.  

You weren’t baffled at Mr. Kim’s reaction, in fact it was to be expected for him to lash out like that. The only cause of disappointment was in yourself.  You messed up when you shouldn’t have and unknowingly let the fucker get to you. You hated the fact that he saw you near tears, you hated letting him see you in a vulnerable state.  You hated that you almost cowered in fear and let him smell the fear off of you. You were no better than the girls before you.  You were proud to think that he would never get under your skin and that you would continue to pull everything off.  

But of course there was such thing as the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’.

 You didn’t want to face him, but after the morning progressed into the early afternoon; you were called into Mr. Kim’s office.  

“I need a copy of the sales reports on my desk within the next hour.  There will be a board meeting at one so I’m going to need you to sit in on that and take notes.  I will be going out for lunch via the reservations you made yesterday so if you can call beforehand to double-check that would be great.  Also call Kim Namjoon and raincheck drinks at Oliver’s, tell him that I’m free tomorrow night but not tonight. As for now, my brother recently had a baby so I need to send flowers, go out and get some ordered and delivered to the local hospital.”  He said all of this without looking up at you once during the dialogue, eyes scanning a paper before him as his deep and cold voice filled the room. 

You sniffed out of instinct that can’t be helped when one is ill, to this he looked up at you in neck-breaking speed.  

You thought that perhaps he was going to comment on your obvious impaired state now that he was viewing you, but instead he quirked a brow and asked harshly, “Any questions?”  

You shook your head no as you ran the mental list once more in your head. 

 “Then get out of my office.” 

–

You waited for the elevator to ‘ding’ with it’s familiar arrival.

You needed to leave the office and get those flowers your boss had asked of you, but also you needed to be back in time for that meeting.  So once again, you found yourself in yet another rush. Unfortunately, the fact that Mr. Kim’s office floor was the very top one meant that you had to factor in an elevator ride to and from the top whilst going on these errand runs. 

 You sighed in impatience as a few more seconds passed, time eating away more than you would have liked it to.  

Finally you heard a small sound that signalled an incoming elevator, you entered it when it’s silver doors opened for you. 

 You leaned against the wall and awaited it’s closure, but right when it was about to shut, a pale and veiny hand stuck out to stop it. 

 He stepped in, his face being familiar but not enough for you to correctly place your finger on it.  He looked at the buttons but he didn’t click any when he saw that you both were heading to the main floor. 

 The doors closed and you both quietly felt the elevator descend downwards, the two of you facing the doors.  

Once again, your sickness caused your nose to sniffle and this brought the attention of the man in the closed space with you.

  He turned to face you.  His doe eyes studied you for a moment, before a look of realization sparked in his inky orbs.  

“Are you Taehyung’s assistant?” You meekly nodded, just now noticing that this was the ‘Mr. Jeon’ that was in the meeting you had interrupted earlier that morning.  

You felt his gaze run down your face (which you knew was most likely pale and sick looking with a reddened nose to top it off).

 “I’m sorry about what happened earlier…my cousin has always been a jackass.”  He told you gently with that high-pitched voice of his that held a light musical tone.  You felt your eyes widened in slight surprise at the ‘cousin’ part, but nonetheless you kept your mouth shut.  You wanted to ask how the hell this guy was related to the spawn of satan himself, Mr. Jeon having a friendly and amicable tone while Mr. Kim had  stick shoved up his ass 24/7. “How long have you been working for him?” 

You didn’t know why he seemed so interested in that, but given he was your superior you answered; “A little over a month now, sir.” 

 He snorted at the ‘sir’ part but looked at you pitifully as even he must’ve known how hellish that month must have been for you.  It was silent for a moment and you both felt the elevator slow down, telling you that you were about to arrive at the lobby floor.  

“This might be a little unorthodox, but my company has a paid internship program if you’re interested.  It only lasts six months but if your work ethic is good, we can hire you as a full-time employee after those months are up.”  He dug into his suit and pulled out a business card before handing it to you. 

The doors opened and he stepped out, calling out from over his shoulder; “It’s not much, but it’s better than working for that asshole.”  

–

Taehyung was…sinisterly pleased.  

When you had walked in that morning without knocking, he was thrilled to finally be able to reprimand you.  Sure, it was a small and silly mistake. But it was the first slip-up you had in a month, and of course he was going to pounce on that.

The image of your glassy eyes blinking furiously away at stubborn tears was too good for it to not be burned into his memory.  The embarrassment that burned your face with a gorgeous crimson glow was a mouth-watering sight to behold. When your lip wobbled and voice broke as you for once showed him a side of you that he never saw before (a broken and weak one) he couldn’t deny the bliss that overtook him in that moment.  

He broke you.  

He won.  

He wanted to see it over and over again, your watery eyes and pained face that was laced in humiliation.  The experience triggering a taboo sense of arousal that had Taehyung taking care of himself under his desk minutes after the meeting finished.  

How badly he wanted to be the master of any further emotions of degradation, sadness or pity.  

How badly he wanted that expression to be saved for his eyes only.  

How badly he wanted to push you to your limits….

It took a lot of Taehyung to not tease you when he had given you your chore list of the day.  He limited eye contact and pretended to be engrossed in a stupid HR letter to maintain an image of aloofness.  But, it was important that you saw him as cold and unforgiving. A sadist needed to be feared. 

He awaited your return eagerly for the meeting that was to be held later that day.  He wanted to see if he would have a chance to yell at you and potentially embarrass you further in front of a board of directors.  But when he finally walked into that meeting with expectations set of you being there; Irene was in your spot with a notepad in hand.

 “Where’s Y/n?”  Taehyung whispered in the middle of the presentation to one of his most loyal employees.  

 In response, she nudged over a paper, still frantically jotting down information that Taehyung lost interest in long ago. 

 Taehyung’s hands shook in fury as he read the lines over and over again. 

 It was a letter of resignation.

  –

(Two Months Later)

You sat in front of this old and serious man as he looked over your resume once more through his thick prescription glasses.  

Your internship with Jungkook’s company did not last long.  Not due to a falling out or lack of good work ethic on your part, but due to a mysterious tanking of his company as insider trading and supposed tax evasion caused the business to fail.  

Although, this was the story that was released to the press.  Loyal workers of the Jeon Corporation will tell you that Kim Taehyung had framed him in a effort to get rid of competition.  Somehow, this story was more believable to you than the one the news reported on. 

Either way, you were out of a job and desperately needed to find a way to make a living.  So here you were, interviewing for some shitty saleswoman position in effort to pay your rent. 

“I must say…you have a lot of nerve being here today.”  The old man grumbled after looking over his notes once more.  You spluttered in confusion at this rude comment.  The interview had been going well…what happened?

 “Excuse me?” 

 “We called your former employers for a reference but since your most recent employer is facing jail time, we had to call the one prior to that.  CEO Kim Taehyung sent us a fax that said as a worker you have ‘problems listening to specific instructions, lazy and incompetent, and the worst mistake my company will make by hiring you for you cannot handle a shred of responsibility.’” 

 Your mouth went dry as you pictured the boss from hell laughing evilly as he sent this fax, most likely trying to ruin your life as some sort of sick entertainment. 

 “I-I can explain plea-” you attempted to speak, only to be cut off with just a look. 

 The old man looked at you with critical beady eyes as he pointed to the door and said, “I think you should leave.”

  –

You stormed into the familiar office with a rage you had never felt before. 

 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and your very livelihood was just fucked with.  How were you supposed to pay your bills or even afford to sustain your basic needs when you had someone like Kim Taehyung telling all future employers that you were ‘the worst mistake a company could commit’?

  He called you lazy and incompetent!  Not once did you fail him in any regard bigger than forgetting to knock on a door one time.  You waited on that man hand and foot while allowing yourself to be degraded in the process.

 “Where is he?!”  You growled to Irene from her usual spot at the front desk.  

“Y-Y/n, calm down, okay?  I know what he did bu-”

“Where!”  You exploded, sick and tired of her always defending him despite all the evidence of him being a devil and ruining innocent people’s lives.

She looked in your eyes and knew that she wasn’t going to convince you to leave.  Irene sighed in defeat and muttered, “In his office.”

 You ran to his office and visously ripped the door open to enter his little lion’s den that so many careers have met their end in.

  He was seated in his lounge area, a glass of Scotch in his large golden hand as he looked up at you in a bored yet amused stare. 

You approached him and he just grinned, a whimsical delight spreading across the elegant canvas that was his face. 

 “Y/n, I was expecting you!  Can you get me a refill babe? Ever since you’ve left I’ve had to get my own and frankly, I’m kinda tired of it.”  He casually called out, shaking the glass in your direction. 

  Your brow ticked in annoyance and you noted that it only made him smirk even wider.

  So your suspicions were true; he did take pleasure in the pain of others. 

 “What the fuck?!  What was with that reference you gave to that company?!  You know damn well that I was the best assistant that you’ve ever had, and this is how you repay me?!  Why? Why do you hurt me so much?” You hoarsely yelled as your voice gave out in the end, sadness beginning to overrule anger as you realized just how little your life meant to someone as big as him.

 Taehyung was quiet for a moment as a somber look shadowed his face. 

 Then a chuckle. 

That chuckle bled into a thunderous and roaring laughter as he clutched at his stomach.  After a solid minute of him laughing like a crazed person, he wiped his tears away and seriously stated;

 “Because I like hurting you.  And you will learn to like it too.  Did you think you could leave that easily?  Don’t be stupid sweetie, it’s not a good look and I know you’re better than that.  You might as well come work for me given that no other employers in a hundred mile radius will hire you.” 

 He got up and slowly stalked towards you.  

“You should know better than to try to leave someone like me.  But don’t worry, I’ll clear matters up in that dumb little head of yours.  You’re not just an assistant and I’m not just your boss. Your my pet and I’m your master.  I don’t care if you like it or not, because you only have two options. Accept it, or never get a job and starve out in the streets.  You will only ever work for and serve me. Sorry I didn’t run that past you when you were working here earlier. I wanted to slowly progress our way there but you left before I could have the chance.  Now I have no choice but to push this all on you.” 

He was only an inch away from your face now, beaming at your shell-shocked state before he plopped his drink into your hands. 

 “Now….I believe I asked for a refill.”

(oooof this was kinda trash so srry but that.  It ran for longer than I wanted it to so im sorry if it’s long winded.  Also spacing might be weird bc my computer is on crack cocaine so that’s fun.   Anyway, for inspiration I used @mint-yooxgi‘s Baekhyun yandere CEO story but obvi hers is much better so like check that out. Lemme know what you think and this is chinkbihh signing off.)  

[beautifulbuckys]

(Animal) Crossing Bridges

Word Count: 2.1k

Ship: Bucky Barnes x Y/N (platonic to romantic)

Description: You introduce Bucky to Animal Crossing!

Warnings: swearing, fluff :)

A/N: hi sorry ive been dead, enjoy

"Buckyyyyyy!" You groaning, shaking the sleeping beefy figure. You'd been doing this for ten minutes. Every thirty seconds, you'd give him a shove to wake him up. However....he wouldn't seem to budge. Deciding to wait a few more seconds, you gave him a final shove.

"Bucky!"

Suddenly, the brunette's eyes shot open. He let out a heavy sigh, covering his face with his hand. You knew it wasn't too bright because you hadn't drawn the heavy, grey curtains. The room was still dark, just light enough to make out all the objects in front of you. Bucky liked his room, it was his querencia. He felt safe inside his room because it's somewhere where he can control everything. That's exactly why you're waking him up too! Today is March 20th, and the new Animal Crossing game came out! You wanted to introduce Bucky to the game, as he'd been searching for a new hobby. You'd been playing the game since you were little. The thought of running a town with cute little animals was like heaven to you. Just strolling around, chatting with adorable Isabelle and hitting villagers with nets was entertaining.

Glancing at the clock, you felt a spike of panic. You were running late! You yanked Bucky out of his plaid comforter.

"Ow, Y/N! What the hell is going on?" He barked. You guess you accidentally shoved him into something, because he was rubbing his bicep was he approached the bathroom.

"No time to get dressed! Brush your teeth and then we're out of here, pretty boy!"

You could hear the dull groan from the bathroom. Chuckling, you left the room and jogged down the steps. Once you made it to the living room, you bolted to the shoe rack to grab your sneakers. Humming as you tie them, you heard footsteps coming from the stairs.

"Ready to go?" You asked, turning around. You clearly expected it to be Bucky, but it wasn't. You were greeted with the tall, blonde, god who'd been roaming around since 5 this morning. Thor was grinning at you. His eyebrows were raised in a questioning manner. He was wondering where you were rushing off to at 8 in the morning.

"Morning, lady Y/N! Where are you off to in such a hurry?" He asked, beaming at you with curiosity.

"We both have the same question, pal," Bucky said as he approached the two of you, "Where are we going this early in the morning? Gonna miss the new Starbucks drink or something?"

You sighed, "No! We're going to GameStop!"

"GameStop?!"  Both the men exclaimed in confusion. You figured they were confused for different reasons.

"What in the heavens is GameSt-," Thor began to ask until you shoved Bucky out the door.

Once you made it outside, you felt the apricity. It was a charming morning, the temperature was slightly chilly, the wind nipping at your nose. The mix of the bright sun and the crisp breeze was selcouth. You were from the west, where it was practically always summer. No cold weather. As you and Bucky made it to the streets, you marveled at the way the sun hit the buildings towering above you. It reminded you all over again why you moved out east. Feeling the cold wind yet again, you tucked your hands into your jacket pocket.

"So, Y/N, care to explain why we're going to GameStop at approximately," He looked down to check his watch, "8:13 in the morning?"

You looked up at him with a grin. "Bucky, do you not know what today is?" You asked. He shook his head, his face displaying a puzzled look. You giggled.

"It's March 20th! Today's the day that Animal Crossing: New Horizons comes out! Isn't that exciting!?" You shouted with excitement. People looked at you, clearly judging your excitement at such an early hour. To be honest, though, you couldn't really care.

"What the hell is Animal Crossing?" Bucky asked, taking you to no surprise at all. You'd been waiting for him to ask so you could spend the rest of the walk explaining.

That's exactly what you did.  For 30 minutes, you two walked, you explained the game in its entirety. You didn't forget about Bunny Day. He asked numerous questions, varying from villager questions to questions about Isabelle. You described your favorite character, Sherb, a goat introduced in Pocket Camp. He didn't find it funny when you told him some people will beat up their villagers. You seemed to get him excited. He was walking with a pep in his step, each stride getting him closer to GameStop.

"Y/N, what do I need to play this?" Bucky questioned, now interested in getting the game for himself.

"You need a console called the Nintendo Switch. It's handheld, but if your old man eyes can't see it, I can hook it up to the TV for you." He giggled at the quip.

As you began approaching the store, you noticed how empty it was. Either it was closed or you and Bucky were very lucky. Bucky approached the door, opening it for you. You thanked him and practically skipped into the store.

"Hello!" The older man behind the cashier cheered. He seemed to be the only worker in the store. The other employees might be outback. His wide smile invited you and Bucky into the GameStop. "How can I help you two younglings today?"

"Hi sir, me and my friend here were just wondering if you had a switch in stock?" You asked. You purchased the switch as soon as it came out. You'd played so many other games on it, it was your love. The other switch was for Bucky.

"Do you want a lite, regular or do you want the special edition switch?" The worker, who's name was Ken, questioned. Bucky asked the difference between the three. Ken was a big help to Buck, explaining the differences and why there's a special edition.

"He'll take the special edition," You cheer, with much approval from Ken. "Can we also get two copies of Animal Crossing: New Horizons please?"

Ken quickly helped the two of you. He checked you and Bucky out, which you paid for. Bucky was unhappy you paid for him but there was nothing he could do about it. You two were off to the compound, picking up some coffee on your journey back home. Both you and Bucky were looking forward to playing together. Bucky had so many ideas for clothes he wanted to make himself. He even offered to try to recreate a dress from your closet. Now, Bucky had a distraction. When he was upset, he could play the game with or without you. With that being thought of, you were happy to introduce the game to him. He was clearly so excited to play a game with no violence or scary noises.

Once you made it home, you were greeted with Sam on the couch., "Motherfucker! Get this ugly ass ape off my island!" He yelled. He was clearly the only one on the main floor.

"Gee, you oughta think Nick was paying us a visit," Bucky laughed to himself. He always found jokes about Nick were hilarious.

You immediately scurried to the couch to see what Sam was doing. He was playing Animal Crossing! You sat next to him, immersed in watching him play the game. Sam was wacking the ape character Al with a net. Bucky seemed to notice what Sam was doing and began to walk away. You noticed he was uncomfortable and walked away. You figured you'd tell Sam about you and Bucky's adventure later.

Following Bucky into his room, you carried your bag with you. Once you made it to the familiar dark room, you plopped the bag onto Bucky's cluttered bedside table. He reached into the bag and pulled out his special edition switch.

"You ready to play?" He asked with a smile on his face. You nodded and retrieved your switch from your room. You popped the cartridges into your consoles and began playing.

You both were silent for a while until Bucky looked up at you. "What two villagers do you have?"

"Antonio and Wolfgang, what about you Bucky?"

He turned his screen to show you. You saw a greenish elephant with purple eyeshadow and recognized her as Opal immediately. The winged eyeliner helped you identify the sassy and snooty villager. He walked closer to the famous green tent that belongs to Tom Nook and saw a lovely brown doe. You smiled at the fact that Bucky had one of your favorite villagers, Fauna. She was always so sweet and generous. At a young age, she had your heart. He turned his screen back to him, and you listened to the noises his switch made. You could hear the sound of him weeding, which put a smirk on your face.

"Whatcha smiling about over there, cutie," He said.

"Once you finish weeding, sell it to Tom Nook. You'll find the bell count funny,"

"Tom Nook is a capitalist crook!" Sam said as he passed Bucky's room. Both you and Bucky laughed at Sam's comment. The comment also helped you realize the door was wide open. Bucky leaped off his bed and shut the door. Returning to his bed, he whelved in his blankets. Not because he wanted to hide from you, he just was so focused.

The next few days you saw Bucky less and less. He was cooped up in his room playing Animal Crossing. The only time you really saw him was to grab snacks. So, you had an amazing idea! Animal Crossing sugar cookies! You knew Bucky would love them. He has a massive sweet tooth, and he'd love the Animal Crossing crossover! With the idea in your head, you got to baking. You snuck off to Tony's lab to 3-D print a cookie cutter. While that was printing, you began the baking. You found a simple sugar cookie recipe and followed it to a T. When you got to the part where you needed the cookie cutter, you asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to have one of the agents on the training floor run it up to you. Once the agent, who ended up being a baker herself, ran you up the cookie cutter, you cut them and began baking them. When you popped them in the oven, you immediately began working on the two colors of green frosting. You squealed you were so excited! Later on, you finished the cookies. You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to let Bucky know you're coming up and began your trip. You carried the cookies, frosting and all, and knocked on Bucky's door.

"Come in!" Bucky yelled.

You walked into his room, and to much surprise, his curtains were drawn! "Animal Crossing change your mind on the light?" Bucky laughed at the comment and looked up at you. He gasped at the sight of the cookies.

"Oh yeah! I made these for you," You laughed, handing him the glass plate with the vibrant cookies. You watched Bucky immediately shove one into his mouth and moan with delight.

"They good Buck?"

"SO GOOD!" He yelled, viciously chewing on the cookie. You scrunched your nose at the sight of him chewing while talking. You slowly backed to the door and walked away. While you were walking, you heard a muffled 'thank you!' and some mumbling.

On your way downstairs, you checked the time. It was almost 8 at night, and you still hadn't had dinner. You approached the kitchen and made a quick salad. Once it was prepped, you made your way into your room. After you made it, your phone buzzed on your bed. Hustling over to check it, you realized it was a text from Buck!

Bucky Boy: check your inbox thingie on animal crossin

You quickly grabbed your switch and selected Animal Crossing. Getting gifts was a great part of Animal Crossing that you loved! It was always so fun seeing what people decided to give to others, it was really kind. Once the game loaded, you made your character run to the inbox area. You found a postcard written by Bucky.

To the beautiful Y/N, Thank you for the cookies. They were amazing and I have to return the favor once I figure out how to turn on the oven. JK I know how to turn it on, but I can't bake. I'm sending you this here instead of talking in real life because honestly, I'm shy. Long story short, I love you. You introduced me to this escape and I'm grateful. But I liked you before that too...I promise. Um...enjoy the gift. -Bucky

You teared up at the sight of Bucky's sweet yet awkward words. Quickly, you accepted the gift and opened up your inventory to get it.

There it was. A dress from your closet made in Animal Crossing. Made by the sweetheart Bucky Barnes.

And you loved it.

[pragmatismandmagic]

Don’ts and More Don’ts From a Professional Ghoul

The Spooky times are upon us. I work a seasonal job as a zombie in an apocalypse themed Halloween maze. It’s very popular and we easily get a hundred people a day. With that in mind, here are some things to remember when you go into a haunted house, maze, or other Halloween attraction where people dress up and try to scare you. 

Don’t Touch Us

This probably goes without saying, and many places will put up signs saying not to touch the actors, but it still happens. This rule applies to 100% of touching. Don’t tap me on my shoulder as a prank. Don’t try to push me away from you. Don’t try to hug me. Don’t make contact with me in anyway. We get hurt a lot on this job, because people come into these attraction sometimes with the intention of harassing/abusing us and using the confusion/low lighting to get away with it. Actors get punched every year. We get prodded, groped, kicked, ect. Please, we just want to do our jobs with some semblance of safety, don’t make me fear for my well being because you thought it would be funny to tap my shoulder and then run away. I don’t know if/when you will get violent. Just. Don’t. Touch us. 

Don’t Fight or Flight, Just Flight. Please. 

Like I said above, one of the things they tell us day one is that we will eventually get punched by a guest. Sometimes it’s on purpose, we get a lot of creeps in the maze I work in (Less ‘spooky scary skeletons’ creepy and more ‘I wanna slap a 16 year old’ creepy). But we also understand that sometimes people just freak out and their reflexes kick in. If you are a person who reacts to surprise violently, do not go in. If you’re thinking, “But I can probably handle it...” No. Don’t take the risk, please. I’m begging you. The danger of a Halloween attraction is fake and fun for you but very, very real for us. And if, god forbid, you do deck some pour seasonal worker in a Freddy Cougar costume, stay with them! Make sure they are ok! Send someone to get help.! If you apologize and take responsibility right away we will understand and you will most likely not face assault charges. It’s the runners that have to be tracked down and prosecuted, because those people could come back. You will probably get banned from the attraction either way, but you should be. You can’t handle the spook. 

Don’t Try to Get Us To Brake Character

We can get in trouble for breaking character. Even if it doesn't look like anyone else is around, mazes like mine have cameras that our supervisors use to watch us. I know that striking up a conversation with me would probably help calm your nerves by breaking the suspension of disbelief, but it is literally my job to keep that suspension alive. If you have a question, ask a security personnel, an usher, or just wait until you’re out of the attraction. 

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

The exception to the above is if you need to ask for help. I can and absolutely will break character if you need to get out. Everyday I see people running through my maze covering their face and crying. These attractions are supposed to be fun. If you’re not having fun, ask to be let out. If your friend is having a panic attack don't just try to power through, ask the nearest employee to take you to an exit. My maze has multiple employee exits and I have broken character before to let out a teen who was having a panic attack. Also, don’t force your friends or kids to come in if they don't want to! I see so many sobbing toddlers! Why?!? Don’t force someone to go in, and don't force someone to stay. 

Don’t Bully Us

My Maze is very popular among middle-schoolers. I thought I was done being called mean names by 14 year olds because I’m an adult now but apparently mean teens will find you wherever you go. Please remember that we are people. Don’t make comments about are appearances that aren't related to our costumes. I may have a monster face on, but this is just my actual human body, please don't comment on it. Don’t flip me off. Don’t call me a slur. Just, please be nice? Please?

Don’t Flirt With Us 

I can not stress enough how inappropriate this is, for so many reasons. Some people do this just to break the tension, because they’re scared, but I can assure you that I am way more scared of you. Like I keep saying, there are people who come in just to harass us and even hurt us. We don't know if you are one of those people until someone’s already gotten hurt. We can't break character to tell you you’re making us uncomfortable, and behind all the monster make-up you cant tell who’s under-aged and who’s not. Don’t ask a 16 year old who thinks you might punch them if you can have her number. This also applies to flirtatious comments about our appearance. (Hey sexy!) It’s all threatening because we never know where you’re going with it until you’re gone. 

Don’t Try To Scare Us

Listen. I get it. It’s the spooky season and you wanna get in on it. I can’t tell you how many people have snuck up behind me while I was scaring someone else and just screamed as loud as they could in my ear. They watch me jump, then move on to the rest of the maze, laughing the whole way at my expense. I am never laughing. Remember what I keep saying, PEOPLE GET VIOLENT. WE ARE ALWAYS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO GET VIOLENT. When you come up behind me and start screaming an inch from my face, I don’t think, “Oh no! A zombie! A part of the interactive experience I signed up for! What spooky Halloween fun!”. I think “Oh no. A stranger that’s getting aggressive with me. He could hit me, grab me, grope me, and do any number of other awful things to me right now and I’m not strong or fast enough to stop him. If I hit him preemptively, I lose my job. I hope a security guard is nearby and they’ll hear me call them over the sound effects.” The danger is fake for you, real for me. I didn't agree to this. You bought a ticket to come to my attraction, you consented to this. I didn't buy a ticket to your show, I’m just trying to make some Christmas money. If you wouldn’t jump over the bar at your local Starbucks and start wrestling the blender out of a barista’s hand, please don't try to scare me. You don’t work here. You could apply if you wanted! Until you do, scaring me is the same as scaring any person who you see on the street. You’re just an aggressive asshole. 

TLDR: Don’t let the masks and fog machines make you forget we are just people (often very young people) providing you a service. Treat us largely the same way you would treat the barista at your local Starbucks.  

[spooky-skz]

(4/9) Stray Kids as Apple Employees AU

okay, ik what you’re gonna say.

“wtf mari, why apple employees?”

honestly, i don’t have a good reason.

i literally came out of my shower and was like, “pffft, they’d make funny apple employees,” then this AU was born.

i might continue this, i might not. depends on my itty bitty brain when it comes up with content.

i also sort of wanna do a stray kids as baristas at starbucks but idk

anYWAYS let’s do it.

CHAN!

aaaaah our beloved leader is the technical support advisor who basically helps people with troubleshooting.

he’s the dude you contact when your stupid device isn’t doing what you want it to but you’re….calling from home.

he always has his headset on him. (fyi, it’s a headphone thingy with a mic attached to it.)

Like alWAYS

woojin asked him once why he literally wore it like his life depended on it.

probably because it did

his response was simple, “so i can take calls and help customers while making sure jeongin doesn’t burn the store down at the same time.”  （︶︿︶）

woojin didn’t ask any further questions bc he understood all too well.       ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

(don’t worry, i’ll explain later.)

chan was super good at his job lmao.

he effortlessly engaged with people, explaining step by step solutions with patience and had an approach tailored to each individual customer.

papa steve jobs would be v proud indeed

he had difficult responsibilities too bro

imagine getting yelled at for a whole day by people you didn’t even know, because they were angry at a device you didn’t even mAKE-

when they say, ‘patience is a virtue,’ they rlly mean:

pATIENCE

IS

A FUCKIN

VIRTUE

ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ bc most people would probably grow annoyed after the other person in the phone line keep shouting & blaming.

but not chan. no. no.

he’d be tolerant with the customer, and continue to provide the best customer service possible. ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭

… i mean… unless the person was getting too aggressive for his liking, then he’d just remove the headpiece, scroll through the company website, and wait till the person has cooled down before proceeding to help them with a positive attitude. (꒪ཀ꒪)

Hyunjin

his job title is literally, ‘Genius,’

i kid you not. i looked this shit up.

jeongin thought it was a legit at first

like they all joined the company at different times but jeongin was the last to hop on the apple train.

hyunjin’s name on the schedule board would be beside the word, ‘genius,’ and for like… two whole months, jeongin thought hyunjin was the mastermind behind the whole apple operation

i cannot tell you how many times hyunjin was approached by jeongin with a problem that he didn’t have the knowledge to help with

luckily, seungmin was feeling nice and explained that, ‘genius,’ was just the name of hyunjin’s job.

why?

seungmin didn’t know either

okay  baCK TO HYUNJIN!! his job is to quickly diagnose product issues on the spot, explain what’s wrong with the device to the customer. after determining whether repairs can be done or a replacement is needed, he’d offer solutions to help get users up and running again.

now don’t get me wrong, hyunjin loved his job bc he liked helping people and fixing devices bUT!!!!

after working in the same store for almost a year, these group of girls would literally be there every w e e k e n d to get “help,” from him.

he was flattered and all about the female audience but it was getting stale.

some girls would breAK their devices on purpose just to have an excuse to talk to him.

the convo’s they’d try to initiate wasn’t even about the faulty device anymore.

this rlly bothered him bc it took his time away from helping ACTUAL customers.

eventually, chan banned them from coming in to disrupt the peace of the store and to protect hyunjin from their beady eyes and weirdness.

jeongin mostly came to hyunjin for help with something (bc he knew the older dude wouldn’t tell chan)

& these two doods would try to fix the problem together!! hopefully before chan finds out about the problem bc

oof

then mr. advisor would be streSSED AF and

they’d get a scolding from mother!woojin

Jeongin

our bby boy is the technical specialist who helps people get started with using their devices.

gets excited with you when you get your new phone or computer.

knows all the tips and tricks on getting the most out of your device

is especially patient with the elderly and first-time users.

he knows!! that technology is difficult to understand and work around when you’re barely starting out so he’ll take as long as necessary to help someone understand how the phone or laptop works.

but...

y’all…

don’t let this boi anywhere a fire hazard area

i mean, he doesn’t mean to start fires

they just...happen???

like, they have this small employee mini kitchen in the upstairs breakroom (literally the whole 2nd floor could be a one bedroom apartment)

and of course when there’s a kitchen, there has to be SNACKS!!!

and jeongin was hungry during his shift.

so he goes up during the non-busy hours of the day to get himself some fud

(✿◠‿◠) a growing boi needs his nutrients!!

chan had left briefly for a coffee run, woojin was downstairs trying to fix a malfunctioning monitor. the other boys were either sick, out for lunch, or hadn’t clocked in yet.

jeongin put in a bag of popcorn in the microwave, and checked the box for instructions

it said, “for 5,000 watt microwave = 2 min. for 500 watt microwave = 4 min.”

he checked the microwave and it was 1,000 watt :-)

uhhh he didn’t really know at what time to put it in as so…

he typed in 3 min.

he didn’t mind having some burnt popcorn bc hey!! he just wanted to eat something.

he took a seat in front of felix’s computers and started scrolling through the security tapes in hopes of finding one funny footage of a customer.

:-) it started smelling like smoke for some odd reason.

mmm yep that was the smell of smoke for sure.

wonder where that’s coming from?

he thought.

he turned around to look for the source, and

HOLY SHIT THE MICROWAVE WAS ON FIRE

the panic in his body went from 0% to 100% real quick.

jeongin couldn’t just turn off the damned heating machine bc it was in flames, but he just couldn’t let it continue to get bigger and bigger.

he grabbed the pitcher of lemonade at the table and yEET that juice all over the microwave.

it did like minimal help.

he could hear chan entering the store, calling for woojin to help him bring the cups upstairs to the break room

oh no

he was in the break room.

he grabbed a wash cloth from the sink and began smACKIN at the flames

cue the parents walking in.

chan: (.•̵̑⌓•̵̑)

woojin: ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

without wasting another second, woojin yanked jeongin away from the fire bc it was starting to get really big and he could have gotten hurt ( ˘︹˘)

while chan got the fire extinguisher from beside the fridge

was that always there? jeongin asked himself

and chan used it to stop the fire.

poor bby jeongin got a massive scolding from both parents and told him to be more cautious next time.

then they all cleaned up the mess before the rush of people came in the shop!!

the next day, the other boys walked in to woojin spraying the SHIT outta this air freshener all over the break room bc it reaked of burnt popcorn & metal.

windows were all open to the smell out and the beloved microwave was nowhere to be seen.

chan was sipping on his morning cup of coffee when minho asked what happened.

“jeongin nearly burned the store down so there’s no more microwave.”

“oh. okay.”

Felix

ahhh okay so his job isn’t anything tech related really, except for when he watches people through his cams

he was the security guard of the store uwu

he has so far prevented 7 fights from happening and 6 of those 7 were between minho and seungmin lmao.

he was the perfect man for this job bc on the outside, his face is like:  (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

but when he’s upset or angry, mr. security guard mode is activated  (ง’̀-‘́)ง so he has to remove people from the premises.

he uses his SCARY voice when dealing with overly aggressive people and it usually does the trick when he asks them to leave

but when lil kids are just so excited and curious about the devices, he uses his soft uwu voice to converse with them about their day or what they’re doing in school

overall the cutest & dependable guard ever!!! 11/10

once changbin kept trying to fiddle with felix’s computer and he was like, “bro.. you’ve been trying to guess my password for like 2 hours. it’s not yngbok01.”

and changbin was soooo frustrated with this and he looked at felix like   (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻ “PLS JUST SIGN IN!!”

a smirk was on the guard’s face as he asked why he should.

changbin looked defeated and finally said, “i was locking up the store last thursday and was doing my own version of karaoke and i… tripped on the cords, and my jeans ripped open as i fell. If that blackmailer minho gets his hands on that footage, i’m dONE FOR—”

felix nearly toppled over from laughing so much as he watched the clip of what happened while changbin was visibly on edge, looking for any sign that minho was in the room

he still deleted the clip tho bc he’s a good friend  

( 。・_・。)人(。・_・。 )

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Becoming the Villain Wrangler

So . . . that thing I said earlier I might try? Posting new stuff that’s not pictures? Well, here’s this. It’s a flashbacky sort of scene about characters from my current WIP, Average, Ohio, about superheroes and supervillains in suburban Ohio. It’s about 2.5k, and most of it is hiding behind a cut so it doesn’t clog your dash. Here goes nothing, I guess. Enjoy.

--

She started with Sonos.

She was fourteen, and she knew that Sonos didn’t “do kids.” She knew that 84% of Sonos’s premeditated hostage situations took place in establishments where either coffee, baked goods, or both were available, and she knew that the baked goods and coffee combo hostage situations tended to be safest. So far, at least, no one had died in a Panera or a Starbucks.

She also knew that, despite popular and professional opinion, Sonos’s bakery hostage situations did actually follow something like a pattern. She spent hours and hours in her bedroom surrounded by police reports transcribed and translated into color-coded index cards carefully taped to her blue walls. Nobody ever tried to head off Sonos’s hostage situations because they seemed completely random, the whims of a flighty, unpredictable super with a penchant for drama and chocolate pastries.

But the color-coded, meticulously-arranged index cards on her wall whispered that maybe the whims weren’t so random after all. There was definitely a cycle, even if it wasn’t quite regular—almost every twenty-one to twenty-seven days, except when it was more like forty-five, Average could count on a hostage situation somewhere. And Sonos had four favorite spots to hit: the Panera at the Plaza, the Starbucks off 42, the Bagel Brothers by the schools, or Servatii’s downtown. Sonos very rarely hit the same spot twice in a row, except when she did, and she almost always timed it to the tail end of a weekday rush, except when she didn’t, and she never ever hit a Starbucks in the same month that jewelry stores got robbed.

There was a break-in at Jared’s on Sunday, Bagel Brothers was still being renovated from last month’s super battle, and twenty-two days ago the hostage situation was at Servatii’s.

Maddy Cox had spent every waking moment at the Plaza’s Panera.

It was the second week of her summer vacation, but she’d been preparing for this since April. Every morning at 10:02, she locked up her bike outside the Panera, ordered a smoothie, and parked at the smallest table she could find to do summer work until lunchtime. She was going to be a sophomore, so on top of her reading and essay for English, she had APUSH work to do, too. So far, it had been an uneventful week at Panera, so Maddy was almost done reading Rebecca, which she didn’t think was as bad as all her older friends complained it was.

She was finishing her third panini of the week when Sonos and a small squad of henchpeople stormed the dining room.

“No screaming today, please,” Sonos announced. Her voice came from nowhere and everywhere all at once, even though Maddy watched her lips move. “If you have to panic, use your inside voices and get it out of the way now. Everyone knows how this next bit works, right?”

A woman somewhere to Maddy’s left started to shriek. Behind her mask, Sonos’s eyes narrowed. She was cradling her hostage situation shotgun—the one Maddy tracked to every hold up incident since Amp suppressed her powers years ago at a Graeter’s and left her undermatched—in her left arm, but with her right she reached out and snatched the woman’s attempt at a scream. All the sound in a three-foot radius died, and the woman’s hands flew to her throat.

“Maybe I asked too nicely,” Sonos said quietly. The hairs on Maddy’s arms stood straight up, and a hush only Sonos could have intensified fell over the dining room. “Don’t. Scream.”

The woman gulped a few breaths of air silently and nodded. Sonos released her hold on the sound, which died away like it had never existed. By that point, the henchpeople had taken up their posts around the dining room, and a few were herding employees out of the kitchen. The henchpeople were armed—they were always armed—and Maddy forced herself to take a few calming breaths. She would be okay. Sonos didn’t do kids, after all. Maddy would be fine. She just needed her window of opportunity.

“Better,” Sonos said with a nod. “Now, who’s the manager, here?”

The next few minutes passed like déjà vu. Maddy had read so many reports about it that she knew the script: The manager emptied the safe, got Sonos however many pastries she asked for, and resumed being hostaged with her employees; the henchpeople made their rounds through the dining room gathering cash and other valuables that were easy to turn into cash; all phones except for one were confiscated, and guests were told to pack up their things. As Maddy packed up her APUSH homework, an odd sense of calm washed over her. She had, after all, been planning this for months. She’d even purchased a brand-new two-pocket folder with brads for the occasion.

Now her backpack was full and zipped on the floor beside her chair, the yellow folder was next to her empty plate, and Sonos was making her dining room rounds to dismiss unsuitable hostages, namely those under eighteen and their parents or guardians. Maddy watched her send two young families, a set of grandparents with a gaggle of ten-year-olds, three girls Maddy recognized from school, and two very pregnant people to the booth Maddy thought of as the escape hatch by the side door.

Then Sonos approached Maddy’s table, without the shotgun because she always left it on the counter when she dealt with minors and their responsible adults, and gestured. “You too, kid. Up.”

Maddy took another deep breath and stood, pulling both straps of her backpack over her shoulders and scooping the folder off the table. “Um, actually, Ms. Sonos, if you have a minute I was wondering if we could talk.”

Her voice came out squeakier than she wanted it to, which she remembers even years later, and even though she’d spent hours rehearsing in front of the mirror she still hadn’t been able to keep the vocal pause from slipping out, but every time she hears Sonos tell the story the villain kindly skips over that part. Instead, Sonos makes her sound brave. She likes when Sonos tells it.

Sonos hesitated, her mask deforming at her forehead in what Maddy later understands as a double eyebrow raise, and said, “You realize this is a hostage situation, right?”

Maddy nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been waiting all week.” She offered the yellow folder, where she had written SONOS in the top right corner in her neatest handwriting in black Sharpie. “I have some ideas.”

Sonos’s mask deformed further, and a tinkling laugh like wind chimes escaped her lips and breezed through the dining room. For a moment, Maddy became very aware that they had a wide-eyed, terrified audience, and she forced herself to focus on Sonos again. This was probably her only shot to make this work.

“You a super? Cuz I don’t do sidekicks. Or kids,” Sonos said.

Maddy shook her head. “No, I’m just ordinary. I don’t want to be a sidekick. I want to handle your public relations.”

“I’m a supervillain, kid. PR is a thing that happens to heroes.”

“And I don’t think it’s fair that they get all the good press,” Maddy says. “Supervillains are people, too, not just monsters.”

“But monsters sometimes?” Sonos asked.

Maddy held her gaze. “Everyone is a monster sometimes.”

Sonos studied her face for a few nerve-wrackingly long seconds. Maddy didn’t look away, but became aware of one of the henchpeople moving. It was so quiet in the dining room that even Maddy could hear the number pad on the one unconfiscated cellphone as the henchperson started to dial.

“Wait,” Sonos said, still looking at Maddy but rerouting her voice so it was very clearly directed at the lead henchperson. “There’s been a change in plans, Larry. No hostages today.”

Larry ended the call before it connected and said, “Sure thing, boss. What do you need?”

Sonos considered for a moment or two and said, “A couple smoothies and an empty building.”

“You got it,” Larry said with a nod. He separated the store manager from the rest of the employees to have her make the smoothies before reorganizing his crew to herd the hostages quietly outside.

By the time the manager had finished the smoothies and brought them to the booth Sonos had seated Maddy at, the Panera had emptied. Only Sonos, Maddy, Larry, and the manager were left, and Larry handed the bag of confiscated cellphones to the manager before hurrying her out the door and issuing instructions too quiet for Maddy to hear. Sonos called, “I’ll be in touch, Larry,” after him, and Larry nodded and vanished. Sonos and Maddy were alone.

Sonos pushed one of the strawberry banana smoothies across the table toward Maddy before taking a sip of her own. “All right, kid, I’m officially curious. What’ve you got?”

Maddy cleared her throat, hoping she wouldn’t squeak again, and opened the yellow folder. It wasn’t quite a perfect match to Sonos’s suit, but it was close, and it made Sonos smile. “I’ve been volunteering at the children’s hospital for a while, specifically with community involvement.”

Sonos was still slurping her smoothie, but she nodded. “Ah. Wound up with the Be-a-Hero Foundation?”

Maddy nodded. “Sort of. Just the logistics side—figuring out which kids wanted to talk to which super.”

“Cute.”

“It was pretty cool,” Maddy admitted, “to see their faces light up when their hero walked into their room. Every kid, every time.”

“Do-gooders have that effect, I’ve been told.”

“Supers in general have that effect,” Maddy said. Sonos’s eyebrow arched, and for an instant Maddy wondered if she should scale it back, if she was being too forward, but the instant passed and Sonos didn’t seem angry. Just curious. Maddy pulled a patient profile—one she technically wasn’t supposed to have, but she’d gotten approval from Kyoko’s parents so she thought it would be okay—out of the right-hand pocket and pushed it toward Sonos. Sonos set aside her smoothie to study the sheet, which had a color photo of Kyoko at the park and some basic information.

“Cute kid,” Sonos said after a couple seconds.

“Her name is Kyoko,” Maddy said. “She loves swimming and horseback riding, and her favorite band is One Direction. She has stage three brain cancer and maybe three months left to live.”

Sonos’s lips set into a thin line, and Maddy realized that the super probably wasn’t that much older than her. She’d only been villaining in Average for a couple of years, and most supers started fairly young. Now that Maddy was seated across from her, she saw how smooth Sonos’s brown skin was, except for a concealed zit on her chin. She was probably early twenties, if even that, which was still old but not, like, parents old. That was weird.

“Because she’s terminal, she’s eligible for the Be-a-Hero Foundation,” Maddy continued. “And when I asked her who she wanted to meet, she said you.”

Sonos frowned. “Come again?”

“She wants to meet you, Ms. Sonos. She says you have the coolest costume and the coolest power and she wants to be able to break things with sound when she grows up.”

Sonos silently laid the profile flat on the table again. For a few seconds, the dining room seemed unnaturally silent. Maddy counted time to keep her nerves under control and let Sonos think.

After two full minutes, Sonos exhaled a, “Huh,” and sound resumed. “That’s sweet and all, but there’s no way her parents would go for it.”

Maddy shook her head. “No, I checked explicitly with her parents, and they think it’s a long shot that you’d do it but they’d be cool with it if you were. They just want Kyoko to be happy.”

Sonos lifted an eyebrow. “And the hospital? And the Foundation?”

“If you were willing to see Kyoko, I would deal with them.”

“And law enforcement?”

Maddy nodded. “There’d be something horrible about arresting a super who was visiting sick kids in the hospital, right? My dad is on the force, and he said that was true. I could deal with that part, too.”

“Why?”

Maddy frowned. “I don’t understand. Why what?”

“Why are you doing this? What do you get out of it?”

“Oh. Well, I think it’s important for the kids. Plus, if I want to get into good colleges, I need to have a long-term community service project.”

“And you picked wrangling supervillains? You’re what, fifteen? Sixteen?”

“Fourteen,” Maddy said, and Sonos laughed her wind chime laugh.

“Ambitious, for sure. Seriously: Why supervillains?”

Maddy hesitated. She’d known that Sonos would ask—Sonos always asked—and she’d known what her response would be. It was just that the whole situation was more intense than she’d anticipated. Even volunteering at the hospital, she hadn’t been this close to a super for this long, and she’d certainly never held a conversation like this one.

“Because you’re people, too,” she finally said. “We’re all in this together, and everyone should get a chance to do good.”

“I’ve got chances to do good all day every day. I choose not to.”

“But you’ve never gotten a chance to choose Kyoko before.”

After another moment, Sonos sighed. Maddy continued laying out her ideas and rationales about why, in the long run, having some positive PR on the villainy front would benefit Sonos. She left Kyoko’s profile on the table as she walked Sonos through the rest of the folder’s contents.

At the third repetition of “Ms. Sonos,” Sonos said, “Just call me Sonos, kid,” and ten minutes later, when Maddy had done all her explaining and Sonos had taken it all in, she asked, “What’s your name?”

“Maddy. Maddy Cox.”

Sonos smiled and finished her smoothie. “Well, Maddy. I’ll think on it. Give me a couple days and I’ll get back to you.”

Maddy beamed. “Great! My number and email are in here—you can call or text or email or whatever. This is for you.”

Sonos smiled when Maddy offered her the folder. “Came prepared, huh?”

Maddy nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! I, um, sort of figured out your pattern—don’t worry, I didn’t tell anyone or anything, your secret’s safe with me—so I’ve been waiting all week.”

“I’m impressed, kid. Maddy.”

Maddy felt a blush creep up her neck, and she stood when Sonos did. Sonos offered a hand, which Maddy shook, and then Sonos asked her to stay in the booth for two more minutes while Sonos cleared the scene. Maddy did, Sonos left, and two minutes later she walked out of the Panera for a very weird encounter with the police. When her parents showed up, they weren’t thrilled, but they agreed to see where things went because it was important to Maddy and everyone knew Sonos didn’t do kids.

Four days later, Maddy got a call from a restricted number, and Sonos said she’d give it a whirl. It took Maddy two weeks to get everything squared away with the hospital, and the Foundation, and law enforcement, but on the third Thursday in June, Maddy and Sonos and a very skittish guard detail walked into Mercy Children’s.

It made Kyoko’s whole year.

The visit was so successful that it was easy to persuade Sonos to come again for Ben, and for Jake, and Rachel, and Maya. Once Maddy was comfortable with Sonos, she asked the super if maybe Ratman or Firebrand would be interested, and Sonos passed along her proposition. Soon Maddy was the liaison for the villains, much like how Shanu Adebayo was the hero herder.

It was Sonos who eventually affectionately dubbed her the Villain Wrangler.

--

[1misstherooftop-blog]

What’s the Scoop

Read on ao3

Summary: Davey works at an ice cream shop that Jack frequents

Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly

Warnings: mentions of vomiting

Word Count: 5827

There was nothing cold about New York City in July. Everything simmered in the heat. Concrete sidewalks singed the feet of barefoot children, buildings groaned as the sun beat down all day. People exited theaters into the sweltering head, wiping at the sweat that beaded their foreheads.

Nothing in all of New York compared to the boy who walked into What's The Scoop at precisely 2:35 pm.

Davey had been blissfully unaware of the heat until then. He was surrounded by ice cream, the temperature of the store at least twenty degrees colder than it was outside.

The door swung open, the bell tinkling, to let in the prettiest boy David had ever seen. His hair was dark and unruly under a beanie (in ninety degree heat!), his arms bare in a ridiculous tank top. Davey wasn't even fazed by his cargo shorts, he was so distracted by his perfect face.

He blamed the sudden heat creeping across his cheeks on the gust of warm air from the open door.

"Hi, welcome to What's the Scoop," Davey greeted him. "You can order when you're ready."

The boy nodded, staring at the menu. "Can I just get a milkshake?"

"What flavor?"

"All of them."

Davey glanced up from the cash register. The boy was deadly serious. Davey cleared his throat. "Can I, uh, can I get a name for that?"

The boy squinted at him. "Is this a new policy? Ha, it's like Starbucks."

Davey laughed awkwardly. How was he supposed to explain that he just wanted to know the boy's name? He didn't say anything, just looked at the guy expectedly.

"Oh, yeah! It's Jack."

Davey scribbled the name on the cup. He could feel his face getting red. He scooped the ice cream in a rush, the cool air fighting back his blush. Jack watched him struggle to scoop the more frozen ice creams.

"No one ever buys these flavors," Davey explained, finally prying out a scoop of ice cream.

Jack smiled. Davey's heart lurched. He would do anything to see that smile again. "Guess I'll have to come in more often."

Davey could've cried with happiness. He chuckled instead, blending the milkshake. It turned an off brown color that kind of matched Jack's pants. "Here's your milkshake, Jack." Davey hoped he didn't say Jack's name in a creepy way. He really just wanted to say Jack's name.

Jack took it, still grinning. "Thank you. How much?" He had his wallet open, staring at Davey expectedly.

Davey waved him off. "Don't bother. You're cleaning out the flavors no one eats."

Davey told himself it was the heat that colored Jack's cheeks pink. "Thank you," he said again. He pulled a five dollar bill out of his wallet and a colored pencil. He scribbled something on the bill.

"Isn't It illegal to write on money?" David asked. He didn't know if he was more impressed by Jack drawing on currency or by Jack having a blue colored pencil in his wallet.

Jack held a finger up to his lips. He dropped the bill in the tips jar, winking at Davey. He pulled some sunglasses out of his pocket, putting them on. Davey didn't know how he managed to make that look hot. "Have a nice day."

"Thanks, you too." Davey managed. Jack left, back into the heat. Davey slumped against the counter, his face in his hands.

"I'm fucked," he muttered. He reached into the tip jar blindly, scared to remove his hands from his face. He pulled the money out, peering at it through his fingers. Jack had written his number across Lincoln's face.

The bell rang, another customer ducking in out of the heat. Davey straightened immediately. He could deal with Jack after work.

The next week was somehow even hotter. Davey had taken to sitting in the freezer between customers to escape the heat. He'd fallen asleep there Monday and jerked awake when the bell rung.

Jack, in all of his sweaty and masculine glory, had been leaning on the counter, grinning at Davey as he hurried to the cash register.

"Same as last time?" Davey had teased. Jack had laughed, shaking his head. "Can you add toppings?"

Davey had made a tiny noise of horror but obliged.

The next few days were all Jack. He came in around 2:30 each time. Davey had taken to setting an alarm on his phone so he could lay in the freezer with no risk of missing Jack.

His phone buzzed on cue, jerking Davey out of his half asleep state. He scrambled to his feet, adjusting his uniform to not be wrinkled.

It took three minutes for Jack to arrive. He lit up the moment he spotted Davey, his smile blinding.

"Heya, Dave," he said, leaning his hands on the counter. Davey was pretty sure if there wasn't a wall between them Jack would be much closer, an arm around his shoulders maybe, their sides pressed close. Davey really wished there wasn't a wall between them.

"Heya, Jack" Davey echoed back. "Same as last time?" He asked.

"Nah," Jack said, distracted. He was staring at the menu posted to the wall, his face squished with concentration. "Can I get a large vanilla cone? I didn't know you had soft serve here."

"Oh, yeah, we do." Davey grabbed a cone, expertly swirling the top.

Jack whistled. "You're a pro."

Davey shrugged. "I'm here a lot. You get good at it after a while."

Jack nodded. "I was wondering about that. Why are you always the only one here?"

Davey was stumped for a moment. He did not want to explain to Jack that he had been picking up shifts so he could see Jack everyday. "Not a lot of employees and I'm not very busy." Davey said instead, shrugging.

Jack nodded. He accepted the cone from Davey, immediately biting into it. Davey almost yelled. Of course Jack bit into ice cream. Of course Davey was falling ridiculously hard for a ridiculous boy.

Jack sat down at the stools near Davey. He was devouring the ice cream, grinning at Davey between bites. Davey smiled back. He smiled a lot more when Jack was around.

"Question," Jack said, munching on his cone.

"Hit me," Davey said, toweling off the counter.

"Why haven't you texted me?" Jack was looking at Davey with his intense eyes. Davey couldn't tell what color they were but he wanted to find out.

Davey fidgeted a little bit. He didn't have a good excuse. He had already put Davey in his phone as a contact, but every time he opened a message to text him he chickened out. He wanted to ask Sarah for advice but she had been too busy with Katherine.

"I, uh" I have horrible anxiety and you're so pretty I can't text you "I've been watching my little brother a lot and haven't gotten a chance." Davey winced at his own lie.

Jack popped the rest of his cone into his mouth, nodding. "Okay. How old is your brother?"

Davey was immensely pleased that Jack had dropped it. "He's nine, but if you ask he'll say ten."

Jack laughed. "They're cuter the younger they are."

Davey nodded. "Do you have any siblings."

"Uh, yeah." Jack scrubbed at his hand with a napkin. "I've got a foster brother, Spot. We grew up together."

"That's cool, I always wished Les was a little older."

"Spot and I are close." Jack stood, pushing his stool in. "So, are you watching Les tonight."

Davey squeaked a little. "No, actually." He couldn't lie again.

Jack beamed. "I'll be waiting on a text then."

Davey forced himself to laugh. Jack left, waving as he went.

Davey spent the rest of his shift trying to think of something to say. He didn't know how to text someone you were interested in. What if he screwed it up?

The moment his shift was over he dug his phone out of his pocket, dialing Sarah.

"What's up?" She asked the moment she picked up.

Davey pressed the phone to his ear to hear her, shouldering his bag to walk home. "Did I tell you about Jack?"

"Hm? No, I don't think so." Sarah's voice became muffled. "Kath! Did Davey tell us about Jack?"

Davey didn't hear Katherine's response. "She says no. Who is he?"

Davey took a deep breath. "He's a guy who keeps coming into my work. He's really nice and pretty and he left his number."

Sarah cooed. "Have you texted him?"

"That's the problem," Davey said, exasperated. "I don't know what to say, I'm too nervous."

"Oh, don't stress out, you're fine, Dave." Sarah's voice was soft. "He wouldn't give you his number if he didn't like you."

Davey nodded even though she couldn't see him. "What should I say?"

"Something casual. Just say 'hey'."

"'Just say hey'." Davey mimicked. "Is that even casual? What if he takes it the wrong way?"

"What other way can he take it?"

"I don't know!?" Davey sighed. "Ask Katherine."

"Dave, are you kidding me?"

"Ask Katherine."

"David."

"Ask her."

"I'm not- hey!" Davey heard a slight scuffle. "Hey, Davey." Katherine said, sounding breathless.

"Help me what do I text a cute boy?"

"A cute boy- back off he asked for me- have you tried just saying hey?"

Davey could hear an exasperated noise from Sarah. "You're no help either!" He was whining. "I hope you two are happy."

Katherine laughed. "Sorry, Davey it's fool proof. You can't go wrong with hey."

Davey sighed. "Fine. Whatever you two say." He reached his apartment, digging in his pocket for keys. "I hope you're happy."

"Just text him! You'll be fine," Katherine promised. Davey heard her hand the phone off the Sarah. "We've gotta go now, I love you. Tell me how it goes."

"I love you, too," Davey grumbled. The call ended. He dropped his phone into his pocket. Davey groaned, opening his door and slinking inside. He toed out of his shoes and threw himself onto his couch.

His phone was an accusatory weight, pulling him closer to hell. He gave in, yanking it from his jeans.

Jack's contact info was already pulled up. He tapped the message button, wincing as it pulled up his keyboard. What was he supposed to say? Sarah's voice was insistent in his ear 'just say hey'. Davey hated to admit his sister was right.

'Hey' he typed. He pounded the send button before he would regret it. The moment it flashed delivered he dropped his phone in panic. That was a bad idea.

He picked his phone back up, opening Google to search how to delete messages from someone else's phone. He groaned when nothing useful came up.

Davey threw himself back onto his couch, balancing his phone on his face so the screen was over his eyes. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. This was fine. He was totally fine.

The screen lit up, bright through Davey's closed eyelids.

He snapped upright, scrambling for his phone.

'Hey! This is David, yeah?'

Davey groaned. Why didn't he say so in the first place???

'Yeah! Sorry. It's David.'

The typing bubble popped up right away. Davey was terrified and excited at the same time.

'Cool!! Nice to hear from you! What are you up to?'

Not laying on the couch moping about texting. 'Nothing much, you?'

'I'm eating dinner with Spot, actually. And his boyfriend. They're being gross.'

Davey laughed. He could do this, this was easy. 'Do you like his boyfriend at least?'

'Race? Yeah! I love him'

Davey dropped his phone in shock. At this rate it would be fracked by the time he went to bed. He scrambled to pick it back up, his fingers tripping over the keys to answer Jack. 'Race!? As in Antonio Higgins?'

'HIS NAME IS ANTONIO!?' Jack kept typing, clearly not done. 'HE WOULDN'T TELL ME! THIS IS WONDERFUL!!!! HOW DO YOU KNOW??'

'He's a friend of mine. I've known him since before he was Race.'

'Oh my god! I'm asking him about you'

Davey regretted his choices. He and Race had been friends a very long time. He had no idea what kind of crap Race could tell Jack. How many embarrassing stories that would ruin Davey's chances with Jack.

The typing bubble popped up on Davey's screen. 'He got really excited and he says hi. He also said 'save me' but I promise he's fine.'

Davey sat up on his couch. He was thanking every god that Race hadn't started rambling.

'What are You doing to him?'

'I'm just eating.'

Davey had a feeling "Just eating" for Jack was different than other peoples definitions. 'Eating what?'

The typing bubble popped up then went away. Jack didn't seem to want to admit it.

'Jack. What are you eating?'

Jack answered this time. 'Spaghetti that Race made.' There was a pause, then another text. 'Have You seen the movie Elf?'

Davey groaned. 'You did not.'

'I did.'

Davey was tempted to block Jack. Instead he answered 'I side with Race here. Your eating habits are terrible.'

'Excuse You I eat what tastes good.'

Davey laughed out loud. 'you do not! You had a milkshake that was every flavor!'

Jack sent a frowny face. 'How about we make a deal?'

'Okay....' Davey said, trying to convey his hesitance. 'What deal?'

'Tomorrow, I pick your ice cream, you pick mine. We both see what the other considers good.'

Davey considered. All he really had to lose was his good health. 'Okay. Deal.'

'Yes!' Davey smiled at Jack's excitement. 'Shit, gotta go, Race is bringing more food.'

'See you.' Davey said. Jack didn't respond. Davey hoped Race had forgiven him for the spaghetti.

Davey got ready for bed, his heartbeat already skipping in anticipation for tomorrow.

Davey was having trouble breathing. It was 2:34 and Jack had yet to arrive. He had spent his shift so far planning what to give Jack. Something simple but not wimpy. Something with flavor but not to Jack's extent. He thought a traditional caramel brownie sundae was enough. He wasn't ready to see what Jack would make for him.

The bell rang in the middle of his musing. His head jerked up. It was Jack. He almost jumped over the counter but managed to stay still.

"You ready?" Jack asked, leaning on the counter with his elbows. He looked eager.

Davey grimaced. "I'm ready. Are you going first?"

"Hell yeah!" Jack put his palms flat on the counter. "I'm coming over."

"You're what?!" Davey squeaked, making no move to stop Jack.

Jack launched himself over the counter, landing next to Davey. "I've never been on this side before."

Davey spluttered. "Employees are allowed back here not you."

Jack shrugged. "Dave, it's gotta be a surprise. Let the master do his work."

Davey sighed. He handed a spoon to Jack. Jack beamed at him.

"I need you to turn around."

Davey turned around. He was regretting a lot of things. Agreeing to do this with Jack, applying for this job, moving out of his parents' home, being born.

He could hear Jack moving around, struggling to scoop ice cream and rustling through the toppings.

"If another customer comes in I'm screwed," Davey pointed out.

Jack laughed. "How many other people come in besides me?"

Davey didn't answer. People just tended to wander in. Some days he only saw one person, some days entire baseball teams piled in. He figured Jack was talking about regulars. So far Jack was the only one.

"It's your turn." Jack sounded triumphant.

Davey turned, hoping to see the ice cream. No such luck. Jack was hiding it behind his back, grinning deviously.

Davey closed his eyes for a second, accepting that this was happening. He scooped ice cream efficiently, piling it into a bowl. He added brownie crumble and caramel, perhaps with a little flourish because he knew Jack was watching. He hadn't asked Jack to turn around.

Jack whooped when Davey finished. "Come eat with me," he said, hopping back over the counter, somehow managing to keep the ice cream out of Davey's sight. He sat down in one of the stools, looking at Davey expectedly.

"You mean sit there with you?" Davey asked. His hand was cold from holding the ice cream.

"Yeah. Come on, take a break. Enjoy some ice cream with me."

Davey knew he wasn't getting out of this one. He clamored over the counter with much less grace than Jack, finally settling in a chair next to him.

Jack slid the cup of ice cream to Davey. "I made my speciality. I call it the Taste of New York."

Davey looked at the ice cream. It looked like someone had thrown up in a cup, which was sort of appropriate for New York. "What is it? It looks horrible."

Jack made a hurt noise. "Excuse you, Mr. Perfect Scoops. We aren't all naturally inclined to make pretty ice cream."

"I mean what are the flavors, Jack."

"Oh, right. It's mint chip, rocky road, and lemon sorbet. With caramel syrup and also strawberry. But don't worry, I complimented that with cherries and sprinkles."

Davey blinked hard. He could do this. He picked up a spoon, digging in to get some of everything. Jack watched Davey eat it. The concoction touched his tongue. He gagged.

"Oh, come on!" Jack threw his hands up. "It isn't that bad!"

"No, no," Davey forced himself to take another bite. "I'm just lactose intolerant, it takes a bit for me to force it down."

"Shit what!? Dave, you can't eat that! Why are you working here?" Jack reached for the ice cream.

"It's good pay," Davey protested. He pulled his ice cream away from Jack. "Plus I don't care. At all. I'll eat this whole thing to prove it."

Jack looked a little bit scared. "Can I have mine at least before you drop dead?"

Davey handed Jack his sundae. Jack cheered. "Brownies!"

Davey used every bit of his willpower to continue eating his ice cream, watching as Jack devoured his. The final spoonful was like cement, crawling down Davey's throat.

This wasn't going to end well. Davey scrambled for trash can, spitting out the last bit of ice cream. He could feel his stomach rejecting it but he forced it down. He kept his head down, coughing and trying to get the taste of lemon sorbet out of his mouth.

"It wasn't that bad!" Jack protested, putting his now empty cup down.

"Yeah, no, it was fine. My body just didn't want to try and digest that." Davey's head was spinning a little bit. He blinked till his vision was straight. "Are you happy?"

Jack grinned. "I'm overjoyed. Don't you understand the pleasures in live you've been missing out on?"

Davey wasn't sure throwing up ice cream was a pleasure. He did think Jack was one.

"Yeah, I think I get it." Davey pushed his empty cup into the trash.

Jack stood, quite suddenly.

"Are you leaving?" Davey asked, standing as well.

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I uh-I gotta go visit Spot."

Davey sort of didn't want Jack to leave. He nodded anyways. "Okay. Have fun. Don't ruin his food."

Jack nodded, looking distracted. He looked at Davey, his eyes wide. Quickly, before Davey could really take in what was happening, he grabbed Davey's hand, leaned forward, and kissed Davey. It was fast, barely a brush of his lips. Davey gagged.

Jack winced, still holding Davey's hand. "Not the reaction I like hearing."

Davey cleared his throat, extremely aware of the heat creeping up his cheeks. "No, that was the lactose. I mean, that was really nice, but I might puke on you."

Jack's face broke into a grin. "Thank god, I was worried there. Tomorrow then?"

Davey smiled at him. "Yeah, tomorrow."

Jack squeezed his hand before dropping it. The bell rang sadly as Jack disappeared outside.

Davey dove for his phone, scrambling back over the counter. He was dialing Sarah before he was even steady on his feet.

"He kissed me!" Davey yelped the moment Sarah picked up.

"He what!?" She was immediately as excited as Davey.

"He kissed me!" Davey took a breath. "It wasn't actually great, I sort of gagged, but he wanted to kiss me again!"

"Wait, you gagged?" Sarah laughed. "Was it that bad?"

Davey groaned. "No, he made me eat this horrible ice cream concoction."

"You're lactose intolerant!" Sarah sounded much more worried than Davey thought she should be.

"It's okay." Davey's stomach was rolling again at the memory. "I think I threw most of it up."

"Oh my gosh, David! I don't care about Jack anymore are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I need you to tell me how I can get him to kiss me again."

Sarah laughed again. "Come on, can't you just kiss him?"

Davey snorted. "No, never, the thought makes me want to throw up again."

Sarah sighed. "You're being dramatic."

Davey groaned. "You sound like mom. You know I'm not good at initiating things. Do you think he's going to kiss me or not?"

"Hm, that depends. What did he say to you before he left?"

"Um, he was kinda upset I gagged then I told him it was just the lactose and he said good and that he'd be back tomorrow."

Sarah cheered loudly in Davey's ear. "He said tomorrow!? Oh, Davey, he definitely wants to kiss you. I'm so happy look at my bro, getting all the cute boys." She sounded like she was sniffling.

"Calm down." Davey said, smiling a little bit. "Do you want me to call you after work tomorrow and tell you how it goes?"

"Yes! Please, I'll be awake all night thinking about it. I'm gonna tell Katherine, oh this is so exciting. I'm so proud of you!"

Davey was grinning now. "Thanks, Sarah. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too! I'll have my phone on all night don't make me wait."

Davey laughed as the call ended. He was glad Sarah believed in him because he definitely didn't believe in himself. He almost wanted to call in sick tomorrow. The idea of seeing Jack again was making him anxious. Sure, he really wanted to see Jack again, but he didn't want to be a disappointment. He didn't think he was good enough for Jack. He knew Sarah would be mad at him for thinking like that. He shook it off, exhaling hard. It was going to be fine.

Jack showed up at 2:42 looking frazzled. Davey had been chewing nervously at his nails since 2:00 and by the time Jack flew through the door he had bitten his nails down to stubs.

"Dave! Give me your best banana split." Jack was grinning as he sat down.

Davey worked quickly, loading extra ice cream on for Jack. Jack watched him the whole time, his chin propped on his hands. Davey simultaneously wanted to kiss him and run out the back door.

He gave Jack his ice cream instead, waving off his money.

"You can pay me back a different way," Davey said, completely forgetting to think for a moment.

Jack's eyes lit up. "How's that?" He asked.

Davey gulped. He may have fucked up right there. He figured it was too late to go back now. He leaned over the counter, grabbing Jack by the collar of his shirt. Jack squeaked a little bit but let Davey pull him closer. Their lips met sloppily, Davey too nervous to actually kiss him.

He pulled back quickly, trying to gauge Jack's reaction. Jack looked overjoyed. They stared at each other for a moment, Jack beaming at Davey. He finally reached for Davey, pulling him back in.

It was a much nicer kiss now. Jack's lips were insistant on Davey's and slightly chapped. Davey really didn't want to stop kissing him. He also didn't want another costumer to come in.

He pulled away, lingering too closely to Jack for a moment. He finally leaned back over the counter, waiting for Jack to speak.

Jack whined instead. "Come on you can't just kiss me like that and then go back to work," he complained. His eyes were wide and pleading with Davey.

Davey felt his heart lurch. Jack actually liked him. Sarah was going to be so proud.

"Yes I can," Davey said, unusually bold.

Jack gloomily took a bite of his ice cream. "Do I get another kiss?" He asked, chewing on the spoon.

Davey considered it. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Jack senseless, forgetting his job and his responsibilities in favor of getting lost in the feeling of kissing Jack.

"Finish your ice cream." Davey said instead.

Jack finished the sundae in record time, almost choking in his rush.

Davey was nervous again. He had gotten too cocky. He didn't know what to do now, he hadn't planned that far ahead. Jack took care of the choice for him. He stood, kissing Davey intently. Davey kissed him back, aware of both the fact that he was still at work and that he didn't want to stop this time.

He let Jack end the kiss, sighing as their lips parted.

Jack sat back down, leaving Davey leaning over the counter. "You working tomorrow?" He asked.

Davey blinked a few times, trying to focus on how to function again. "Huh?" He asked. His voice sounded scratchy. He cleared hes throat and tried again. "Yeah, I'm working."

Jack stood, tossing out his ice cream cup. "Cool! I'll see you then."

Jack reached for Davey's hand, giving it a quick squeeze before he left.

Davey waited till the door was closed and grabbed his phone. Sarah answered in one ring, sounding breathless.

"What happened tell me everything!" She half yelled.

Davey laughed giddily. "I kissed him! I actually kissed him!"

Sarah cheered. "Look at you! You're telling me he didn't initiate the kiss?"

"No, I did. It wasn't great but then he kissed me again and it was amazing."

"I'm proud." Sarah sounded very excited. "And I'm happy you're happy. I'm telling Katherine now."

Davey heard her yell for Katherine and quickly tell her what had happened.

Katherine spoke suddenly. "David Jacobs I'm so proud of you," she said.

Davey couldn't stop smiling. "Thank you, Katherine. Are you on speaker?"

"Yes!" Sarah answered.

Davey really appreciated these girls. "Good. How to I not mess this up?"

Davey could hear them quietly conferring. Sometimes it scared him how smart Sarah and Katherine were together.

"He obviously likes you," Katherine started. "So I don't think you can mess it up."

"You should ask him out." Sarah suggested.

"Take him to the movies. That's always a good date." Katherine added.

Davey nodded to himself. "Okay. Alright. I can do this. Thank you, you do are lifesavers."

"Of course, bro." Sarah said.

Davey cringed a little. "Don't try and use teen words it doesn't make you sound hip."

Katherine laughed. "You're still at work." She pointed out.

Davey winced. "Shit, yeah. I'll talk to you guys later."

"We love you!" Sarah said before the call ended.

Davey put his phone down, chewing on his lip. He didn't really know how to ask somehow out. He also didn't know what type of movies Jack liked.

He knew someone who did. Davey left his phone off the rest of his shift, finally calling when it was over.

"David Jacobs, you bastard," Race said affectionally.

"Hey, Race." Davey was getting too used to talking on his phone on his walk home. "I need your advice."

"Oh, is this about Jack?" He asked.

Davey grimaced. "How did you know?"

Race laughed. "Dave, he won't shut up about you."

"You're just making this up." Davey protested.

"No! I can't lie about how annoying he is. It's just Davey this and David that. Do you know what he did?" Race sounded broken.

Davey was scared. "What did he do?"

"He literally interrupted Spot and I to talk about you. And by interrupted I mean he kicked Spot's door open while we were making out on his bed. And it was a really promising make out session Spot was right about to grab my-"

"Okay! I get it! Stop please I'm begging you." Davey was grinning though.

"Alright, fine. Just know that Jack is basically ruining my sex life." Race cleared his throat. "Anyways, what is it you need help with?"

"What kind of movies does Jack like? If I ask him to the movies which should we go to?"

"Honestly Jack's huge on Pixar. And superhero movies."

Davey exhaled. "Thank god those are good. He has good taste."

"Oh don't start. I hear enough about you from him. Do you know how tempting it is to tell him all the embarrassing things I know about you?"

Davey groaned. "You wouldn't."

"No, as long as you don't start this."

"I won't, I promise. Just know I have plenty dirt on you to tell Jack."

Race was silent for a moment. "Mutual agreement to never tell anyone anything?" He asked.

"Yeah, good plan." Davey finally reached his apartment, suddenly tired from working. "Okay, I'm exhausted."

"Get some sleep," Race said right away. "You can text or call if you need me."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later, Tony."

"I'll be looking forward to it, Walking Mouth."

They both laughed, ending the call. Davey got ready for bed quickly, sinking onto his mattress thankfully. He was going to ask Jack out tomorrow.

He was going to mess this up.

Davey arrived ten minutes early for his shift, tired and anxious as hell.

He was rummaging in his bag, not looking up. He finally found his stupid name tag, pinning it to his shirt as he finally looked up.

He was expecting one of his coworkers, Erika if he had read the schedule correctly. Instead he saw Jack.

"Uh, you're not supposed to be behind the counter." Davey said. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do here.

Jack saved him from having to decide. "I work here now." He announced.

"Huh?" All of his careful planning on how to ask Jack out disappeared. Davey did not know what to do.

"They hired me. You're supposed to train me today, did no one tell you?" Jack was smiling.

Davey at once terrified and completely overjoyed. "I'm training you?"

Jack nodded. "Aren't you excited? You can finally teach me to do those cool swirls."

Davey somehow managed to get behind the counter with Jack. He was living in a different reality where Jack was with him and they worked together. It was a very good reality.

"Uh, Davey?" Jack sounded like he had been trying to get Davey's attention for a while.

"Yeah?" Maybe this was the actual reality.

"Can you maybe show me how to do the fancy swirl?" Jack looked a little bit nervous. It was not a good look for him. Davey much preferred the cocky and confident Jack he had seen so far.

"Yeah, I'll show you everything." He knew the routine for training new employees. It would only take an hour at most, then Jack would be ready to work alone. He hoped Jack would work shifts with him, though.

Davey opened the glass over the ice cream to show Jack. "First you need to know how to serve scoops. The spoons stay in these cups so they're hot, that makes it easier to scoop the ice cream." Davey picked up a spoon to show Jack, demonstrating how to roll it to create a round scoop. "Try it."

Jack did. He managed a somewhat circular scoop, quite impressive for his first try.

"Good job," Davey said.

Jack grinned at him. "Do I get a reward?"

Davey froze. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Jack. He wanted to pull him into the freezer and shut the door and kiss him until his lips and fingers went numb. Instead he shook his head. "Perfect swirl then you will." He was banking on Jack not being able to do soft serve.

He showed him how to make sundaes and smoothies first, mixing a small smoothie that Jack drank in one gulp.

Jack was extremely eager to try the soft serve machine. Davey saved it for last. Jack practically cheered when Davey grabbed a cone, expertly filling it and swirling the top.

Jack tried it as well. He could barely get the ice cream in the cone. It was a sad lopsided mess. Davey really wished it was perfect.

"Jack," he started. Jack looked concerned. "That's hideous."

Jack sighed. "This is harder than it looks." He took a bite of the ice cream, grimacing. "It doesn't even taste good now."

"I don't think how it looks has anything to do with the taste." Davey was having trouble following Jack's train of thought.

"Can I try again?"

Davey nodded. At least Jack was determined.

Jack tried again. And again. And again and again until he was clearly frustrated.

"That one wasn't bad, Jack." Davey lied.

Jack groaned. "Yes it was. I need motivation."

Davey knew he said he wouldn't kiss Jack till he perfected the swirl, but he really wanted to. Jack was looking at him with those gorgeous eyes and Davey wanted him to get it.

"One more try." He said.

Jack sighed. He tried again, as terribly as last time. "This is horrible." He set the ice cream cone down and looked at Davey.

Davey touched Jack's cheek, leaning in.

Jack stopped him. "I didn't get it?" He sounded confused.

"That's okay." Davey was frozen until Jack responded. He didn't want to push it. Jack grinned. He leaned in, kissing Davey finally. Jack's lips were soft and tasted like soft serve. Davey didn't even like ice cream but he wanted to keep kissing Jack.

Jack pulled away anyways, holding Davey at arm's length. "As much as I want to keep kissing you I think if we keep going I won't be able to stop."

Davey laughed. He felt light headed, his lips tingling. "Are you done with the swirl?"

"One more try." Jack tried again. It was perfect.

"Jack! Could you do that the whole time?"

Jack grinned a little sheepishly. "I figured it out after the first one. I just wanted to see if you'd keep your word."

"You're impossible." Davey couldn't fight back his grin.

"Is there any chance other customers are gonna show up? It's hot."

Davey checked the time. "Actually I usually sit in the freezer around now. Care to join me?"

Jack let Davey pull him to the freezer. Jack kissed him the moment they were out of sight. "Gotta stay warm," he said against Davey's lips.

Davey laughed. "We can't stay in here too long or we'll get in trouble."

Jack kissed him to shut him up.