#i like to imagine hes HAD human friends/pets before but either they died from neglect or he had to murder them in self defense or!!! he was

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I MADE THIS IN A FIT OF JEALOUSY I WASNT READY BUT I AM NOW

Controversial mode activate but androids are dumb as shit

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Things that still bug me about Harry Potter

*Why didn’t Lilly and James have their wands at hand the night they got killed? Lilly, being muggleborn, wasn’t totally dependent on magic and might have left her wand in another room or something, but why didn’t she go fetch it if that was the case? James, being a pureblood, would be totally dependent on magic and carry his wand at all times so why didn’t he have his?

*How. Did. The. Wizarding. World. Instictively. Know. That. Harry. Survived. Avada. Kedavra. If. Nobody. Had. Survived. It. Before. And. There. Were. No. Witnesses. That. Night? 

**And while we're at it, how come the people of wizarding Britain see the corpses of Voldemort and two adult members of the Order of the Phoenix that have fought him three times already and collectivelly go 'The baby defeated you-know-who! He's our saviour!' instead of 'wow, the Potters died defending their baby but took Voldemort down with them, they're our saviours'? 'Dumbledore told them' is fine and all but a) how did Dumbledore know and b) why did he tell everyone rather than keep it a secret?

*Why is the most common medium of communication what amounts to the magical equivalent of messenger pigeons? Why are owls more common place than, say, mirrors like the one Sirius gave Harry (I understand this one's more like a walkie talkie in that both mirrors only comunicate to each other, but why isn't there a network of mirrors or a way to add more mirrors to your contact list or whatever?) or sending letters through the floo network or... anything quicker than the days/weeks/months it takes for an owl to reach its destination? Maybe this is why wizards are so insulated, communication isn't fast and reliable enough.

**Why didn't Harry open the christmas gift Sirius gave him until after Sirius died (months after christmas) btw? This would have avoided Sirius' dead quite easily. "Sirius, are you ok? I had a vision of Voldemort capturing you." "Oh, hey Harry. Nah, I'm at home chillin' with Buckbeak."

*How does the Ministry of Magic control the dementors? How did the dementors come to agree to work with the Ministry? There's no way to combat dementors that we know of, a Patronus is a happy memory that you throw at them so they eat *that* instead of sucking all the joy/soul from you. They could just roam the land without much problem. A wizard throws them a patronus? Sweet, more food. So what did the Ministry do to convince them of following their orders?

*Why did Peter Pettegrew chose to live as a pet rat in Britain rather than as a human wizard in a diferent country? All he had to do was stoaway in muggle transport if he didn't want to use magic until he left Britain, if anyone in his new country asked he could say he immigrated because he's a half-blood/muggleborn/wanted by Death Eaters because his friends were in the Order. Change his name, get a low risk job (store clerk, for example) and make a quiet peaceful living. Are there wizarding immigration laws? Why did he decide 'Imma be a kid's pet rat now, probably for the rest of my life because why not'?

*Why is there only a single professor per Hogwarts subject? And that is the teacher that teaches it to every house and to EVERY YEAR. Like: let's be hypotetical here.

If each year is split in two classes (shared by two houses), that makes 7x2=14. A total of fourteen diferent classes to keep track of per subject. Now, in a week a Hogwarts teacher would have to teach about three diferent classes per day (except one day were they'd teach two) just for every year to have that class once a week. What about grading exams and homework and preparing class schedules and so on? The workload must be massive.

Of couse, the optional classes' teachers have a slightly lighter workload since they start on third year but still. Hogwarts is severely understaffed.

*The house elves. The fact that they're happy being enslaved is troubling enough but that they are named specifically *house* elves implies that there could theoretically be free elves somewhere.

*I don't care how much Dumbledore believed it was for the greater good, there's never been and never will be any reason to leave a child in an abusive home. (He was getting reports from Mrs. Figg so he must know at the very least that the Dursleys are quite open about disliking Harry and neglecting him, and Harry himself never disguised his dislike of them).

*Minor peeve but since it was a subplot for six of the books, it jumped at me: Quiditch would make more sense if it got rid of the snitch/seeker or had the snitch only end the game without awarding points. Also, brooms should have saddles like they do in the movies because can you imagine how much not having one would chafe?

Fandom especific:

*Lilly Evans deserved better. Why would ANYONE ship her with Severus "I deserve her love even though she cut ties with me because I called her a slur and hung out with a hate group that targets people like her. Even though I would still be a Death Eater if Neville Longbottom had been the chosen one and I bullyied her child (and many other children) since he was eleven, she should have chosen me." Snape? 

**Also: Lilly is the reason Harry survives up to the end of the first  book and isn't attacked during the summer until the seventh book. She should be a key character but we're never shown much of her at all, just her crying during her loving sacrificeTM, a few lines in the background of Snape's memories and twice in ghost form (where she’s specifically there to state her love and support of Harry -which is nice but doesn’t tell us much about her). We never find out what she was like, other than some vague terms - loving mother, member of the order of the phoenix, wife of James Potter, ex-friend of Snape.

*Slytherin isn't the house of EVIL WIZARDS, it's the house prefered by traditionalist pureblood families but assholes aren't house specific.

**Slytherin isn't the house of EDGY SEXY BADASSES either, what about pureblood tradionalism and general snobery makes the fandom think LEATHERRRR?