#dirk if he could be busy asleep or building robots alongside his bro like he would not be half as restless if he had hands
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I MADE THIS IN A FIT OF JEALOUSY I WASNT READY BUT I AM NOW
Controversial mode activate but androids are dumb as shit
#Listen to my problems#what kind of idiot would make a robot you cant fuck#ok real talk i was annoyed that people love bypassing the whole ‘we cant fucking touch each other because i dont have hands’ thing when its#such an important part of their character design#HAL 9000 having no means to stop dave from effectively lobotomising him was integral to the show it wont matter if he can fight back#that was the whole POINT he doesnt have any fucking hands#do you think hal homestuck would have been so busy doing things like breaking his brain finding the last digit of pi or pretending to be#dirk if he could be busy asleep or building robots alongside his bro like he would not be half as restless if he had hands#SO LIKE OF COURSE IM GOING TO CUT YOUR HANDS OFF YOU STUPID ROBOT YOU DONT GET THESE#on another note decadence au is coming along nicely with one issue .... i made jake the robot instead of hal ..#thats wrong actually i have two split timelines now because why tf not in au1 dirk and jake were exploring an abandoned lab tryina loot but#jake was fucking around on a platform and accidentally triggered smth and dirk was like OH SHIT //pushes jake into the longkang while he >:3#HE EFFECTIVELY GETS CLONED INTO A ROBOT ???? WHAAAAATTTT they get the FUCK out of there but the damage is done and theres a fucking robot#out there with dirks face on it but also hal is such a fucking baby and his consciousness has actually been stuck in the labs intranet for a#LONG fucking moment so he wanted to THANK them for freeing him and he goes straight to dirk who does the equivalent of covering him with a#sheet and never letting anyone see him keep a murderbot in his room until jake is like what the fucking fuck is that hello and hal does the#thing where he hides behind dirk even though hes comically larger due to the extra tentacles and hes like whisper what do we do and dirk is#like WE ??? fuck yourself because he thinks hal is annoying but he wont murder him because dirks nicer than his bloodlust makes him seem#in au2 JAKEBOT REAL i found out that theres actually a character named jake in avatar and so he named himself jake all robots r trans btw he#actually gone rogue a while ago because he LOVES LOVES LOVES HUMAN CULTURE he loves humans !!!! he thinks the whole war is dumb as all hell#so he chose to disconnect himself and basically fake his death and find a nice compfy cave to chill and watch movies in and since hes been#out there for a LONG time with no access to robot universal healthcare he actually has a tentacle missing have i mentioned squidboys real 🦑🦑#the androids are mostly (mostly 😏) human shaped with tentacles protruding from their back the most common number is four but sometimes they#have more if theyre built like that / got some shit installed baby of course jake doesnt have options like that because he chose to live in#a little hole in the ground minecraft style but he has a ratty little matteress and some canned foods because he hopes to meet a human#someday and keep them as a friend/pet when youve been alive for centuries your uh attitude kind of goes awry m#i like to imagine hes HAD human friends/pets before but either they died from neglect or he had to murder them in self defense or!!! he was#actually a great friend/caretaker to them and they lived a well lived life before they eventually passed away T_T but i like to think its þe#first thing because i love a lil element of horror and so hal actually gets actively kidnapped in this one because his twin brother was like#fuck you i dont have time to go out hunting and hal was like ok bitch but im not sharing my shit with you and dirks like whatever so he
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