#i like some popular ships and i also like ships that aren't as popular

[winters-on-the-wing]

my impression of the marauders as somebody who is extremely new to the fandom

this will probably make people mad. i am ready for that.

remus lupin -> he seems cool. his lore is fascinating. imagine being bitten by a werewolf and having your entire life ruined just because somebody has beef with your dad. that's some tea. i think his personality is cool, he seems very rough-and-tumble while also being quiet and plaintive, and i love how he has more street-smarts than book-smarts. the chocolate jokes are already getting old, though, i fear. besides aren't dogs allergic to chocolate?

sirius black -> this guy also seems cool. i like his natural swagger he's got going on. i hate how people are framing him as some "puppy dog" character when he's clearly got such a suave and effortless cool factor that clearly differentiates him from the others. i also think his lore is interesting. i love when the older sibling is the scapegoat, i feel like so often, the younger sibling is victimized in fandoms and i like the little reverse of expectations with that.

james potter -> THIS GUY IS MY FAVORITE HE IS LITERALLY ME. i think jegulus is stupid (to me, it just seems like a bunch of walking talking tropes, no real substance, and i hate how it frames james as some overly-masculinized knight-in-shining-armor archetype with no real personality of his own besides being regulus' savior), and i love how he defends lily from the others' teasing. i adore how his lore and personality set him up for such an interesting character development. it is so interesting to follow an uncorrupted child who has never known pain, to see him throw himself into harm's way because he feels like he has to. i also LOVE that he is a deer because i've always seen myself a deer-like sort of person. and oh did i mention that james is literally me? also his personality seems like such a nice mix of mr. popular and a fantastical, elvish presence.

peter pettigrew -> idk how to feel about him. he kinda pisses me off but i also feel like too many people are writing him off when he has the potential to be just as interesting a character as all the others. i kind of resent the idea that he was a "traitor" type from the start because the idea of him being a traitor is supposed to be a huge surprise that nobody saw coming. i love the idea of him being like a well-meaning jokester sort of person who sometimes goes too far, but just wants to be liked and wants to belong very badly.

regulus black -> okay so this is probably very unpopular but i think regulus is such an interesting antagonist. i don't want to redeem him. i don't want to ship him with any of the marauders. i think he best serves the universe as an antagonist role, somebody who holds so much bitterness and fear in his soul, to the point where he is destroying himself and everything around him to try and get what he wants - but the problem is that he does not know what he wants. i previously mentioned that i think the ship between him and james is dumb, and i stand by that. i think it would be cooler if regulus and james were sort of like enemies, though not overtly. regulus feels like james is taking away sirius and further corrupting him, destroying who sirius was. james feels like regulus is preventing sirius from growing and escaping his life of misery. but the thing is, they both love sirius. just in very complex ways. i love the idea of regulus being a tortured villain, his situation does not excuse his awful actions, but they explain them in a way that makes your heart ache for him, and then makes you feel like a weird asshole for feeling bad for him. that just seems so cool to me.

lily evans -> this is MY GIRLLL. i think she is so cool, so sweet and smart. the only thing with her that i find a bit annoying is that she's close with snape, who i find super annoying. but i love her attitude and her vibe. she's a strong woman without being one of those obnoxious "i'm a strong female character" archetypes. her strength lies in her actions, not her words. i also do think that her relationship with james is adorable and i hesitate to throw it away for the sake of gay ships, but i do think canon deviance with the marauders ships offers so much creative freedom, so james is not the only person i could potentially see her with. i think she could offer such an amazing platonic role in any story, and i hate the notion that the only storyline she offers is a romantic connection with james.

marlene mckinnon -> again, i am obsessed with her. i do not know much about her compared to the other characters, but what i do know about her, i love. i think she is so fun, and her personality is a great mix of strength and integrity. she sort of reminds me of a happier version of katniss from the hunger games. willing to fight for what she believes in, but she uses her power to support her values. i also feel like she and katniss have a similar dry humor that is so funny without even trying. i also love the idea that out of all the marauders, she is among the ones with the least emotional intelligence, in the sense that she isn't a "voice of reason" character like lily is. i hate when all of the woman characters are magically emotional geniuses.

severus snape -> i think he is incredibly annoying and i hate the narrative that he's just a poor baby who was bullied by the marauders. i just feel like he has such a victim complex about everything, and a lot of jealousy when it comes to his relationship with lily. i get that he did not have as much social power as the marauders, but if you play with fire, you're going to get burnt. i don't view him as completely unsympathetic per se, but i much prefer to view him from an antagonistic lens. he just seems like such a whiner. like if you don't want people to make fun of you, then don't be an asshole to them? maybe i am being overly harsh, but as somebody who was bullied, i think it is ridiculous to frame snape's situation as bullying because he is literally such an instigator. the whole point of bullying is that it is unprompted. like come on he is NOT a little wet cat of a victim.

and the other characters, i do not know enough about to form a coherent opinion. i do know of dorcus, alice, preston, and emmaline, but not nearly enough. i would love some advice on who they are and what they contribute to the story!

also i have not read all of "all the young dudes", i made it to chapter nine and then got overwhelmed by all the names, so i got the quick cliffsnotes of the lore from my best friend. i don't care about spoilers, i would actually love them!

also please don't get mad about my opinions, this is all lighthearted and again, i don't know shit about this fandom so i am pulling most of this out of my ass.

[epickiya722]

I think with popular ships when people say "it's boring" many factors can play into them.

Maybe you don't care for one or both of the characters, the fanonized version of said ship is so wrong but sadly it's the popular version of that ship, it's just your ship, all that whatever.

But it's the same case for even the less popular ships.

It may not be as popular, but that wouldn't excuse it from being boring to somebody.

[eluminium]

an unfriendly reminder that the name "Skranchers" for the Skizz, Tango, and Jimmy trio is actually an awful fucking name! And maybe we should come up with something original instead of gluing Skizz's name onto the Ranchers name like he's just an afterthought! Calling it "Skranchers" doesn't fix the problem of people throwing Skizz out of his own series that he started with Tango! We could call them, idk, Crazy Chefs? Plate Up Pals? Goodfellas as a reference to the mafia "Jimmy Jiggles" jokes and how restaurants can be fronts for mob activity? the classic STJ, or TSJ, or JST, or whatever combo similar to ZITS, TIES, and JITS? JUST. SOMETHING. THAT ISN'T. SKRANCHERS. WHAT THE FUCKING IS A SKRANCHERS.

[zukkaoru]

the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/

[burkleswinifred]

i may enjoy other kurt and blaine ships every now and then, but at the end of the day klaine will always be my number one ship for the both of them. i genuinely can't see them with anyone but each other.

[rotisseries]

worst thing about getting into bsd rn is my trusted sources telling me that the fanfic fucking sucks like ok WHAT am I supposed to do when I finish this then

[musical-chick-13]

See, I think the thing about deranged, toxic relationships in fiction, is that everyone involved has to actively choose to walk into or keep coming back to this relationship. That's the interesting part for me. What would make someone, against every single ounce of reason, decide that being in a relationship like that is genuinely worth it for them? Why would someone willingly put themselves in that situation? What has to be going on in their psyche? What do they get (or think they get) out of it?

If the toxicity is one-sided or one party is completely railroaded into the relationship at every turn until they finally cave, or there's some outside force trapping both of them in the relationship and they don't actually want to be there, that's not particular interesting to me, personally.

(Obviously, other people can disagree with this; people have a wide variety of opinions and ways they engage with fiction, which is good, actually. I'm simply talking about my own thoughts.)

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

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[ultrasharpy12345stuff]

SUCCESS STORY (manifesting)

OMFG you guys! I did it! I made it to my desired reality! I'm living my desired life!

All I did was decide it's done. More specifically, I just did Angel's fulfillment challenge (which you don't have to do). Everyday I just decided to live like I was in my desired reality right now as often as I could and whenever I wanted to.

If I vented, I vented. If I ranted I ranted. If I sabotaged my manifestation I just decided it wouldn't matter and that nothing would ruin my manifestation and everything was ok and fine.

And this is totally optional but I affirmed sometimes. I just did to remind myself that it was done.

My affirmations were:

-I'm living my desired life

-Nothing can ruin my manifestation

-I'm in my desired reality

-I'm in my desired reality in my penthouse in Tokyo

-I have all my desires

-The 3D conforms instantly

And it worked! And now I'm happy! I woke up today IN my penthouse in Tokyo! The view of the city is amazing. I checked my bank account and it turns out I'm super rich! Like I literally have BILLIONS of dollars. And it's like I always get millions of dollars out of nowhere! So it's like I get paid just to exist!

Also life in this reality is soooooooo different than on Earth. Like the people in the city are nice... but they aren't just humans beings. I'm seeing Japanese monsters walking around wearing uggs! I can also see Godzilla walking around in a place in the city it's so cool! (don't worry, they made a place in the city specifically for her)

I can also enter the void anytime I fall asleep. Like everytime I go to sleep I wake up IN the void state completely aware. I know this because I just decided I would go to sleep and I did! (one of the things I also manifested, to fall asleep instantly)

And guess what? I also revised my ENTIRE life. Like all the shitty, terrible things that happened to me and all the awful things I've done are GONE! They never happened. All the arguments I had with people on Youtube are gone, they never happened. I never met those people. All the people who I argued with on Discord, well I never argued with them. All the problems with my family are gone.

I also have new memories of me being in Highschool. It went great! I made some friends, they never got angry at me, I got to play my videogames, and I never had to deal with any kind of stress. And I also have my college degree even though I never went to college.

Also let me show you what I look like:

This body:

This is my hairstyle (except it's white colored):

This is my face (trigger warning: AI art, also dw I'm black):

And I'm like popular on Twitter. I'm as popular as @rariatoo. People follow my art and they love drawing my OCs and characters, it's so much fun. Plus I have a patreon and a redbubble. I get to make my OCs as plushies and stickers and ship them off.

And the best part is that there's no wars! No covid, no genocide in the Congo or Palestine, no racism, no problems. And there never will be, everything is fine! Its literally a Utopia.

Summary of what I manifested:

-Desired life & reality

-Freezing Time

-Revising entire life

-Different family (same soul but different looks (slightly) and better personality)

-Entering the void whenever I fall asleep and at will

-A butler friend who I can summon and make disappear at will (he's super nice and never have any problems, perfect personality, kinda shy, and we just had some woopie 🥵🤪)

-Magic (I can do LOTS of crazy stuff)

-Being able to shift realities at will

-Visiting my family through a magic door (my family lives in what I call, "Reality # 3 and I can visit them anytime I want)

-Spawning groceries and food whenever I want (I still go out, dw)

-Friends on discord and some IRL

-Money money monayyyyyyyyyyy

-Perfect health and mental health, no problems with my body

-Never getting yelled at ever again or abused/nobody gets abused/abuse doesn't exist. Yellers don't exist.

& a lot of other personal things

You guys got this! You can get your dream life! Go for it! *I didn't get my dream life yet, that's why the title reads:

"SUCCESS STORY (𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴)" When you put "manifesting in the title it means you haven't gotten your desires yet but you're doing it to help you live in the end. SO please don't be angry or offended.*

[unholybacon355]

Kinktober Day 13 - Hirai Momo x M! Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

Momo is hot as hell, there is no doubt about that. She always catches the eye with her spectacular body. Wherever she goes, always someone is turning her head to take a proper look at her. She’s hot and she knows it and embraces it. How could she not know it when is always receiving compliments?. She’s hot as fuck and you love it too.

There always was the discussion about if her big round ass or her large breast was her most desired body part. You always listened to people talking about that in the hallways or in the bathroom. Of course everybody wants to fuck Momo, she’s the it girl of the campus. And you want it too., but she’s out of your league. 

Yeah, she’s a gymnast and you are part of the football team, but she’s still so out of your league. This can’t be the classical sport romance because she’s very popular and no one pays attention to you. Yes you’re on the football team, but you aren’t really playing. You had been benched almost the entire season till today when the injuries of your teammates allowed you to finally jump to the field. 

You were really fine with that, at least touching the field was good for you. Damn you love this sport, but sadly you aren't that good at it. Otherwise you would be on the titular team. But sometimes people get lucky, maybe something moves in the universe to make a poor bastard like you happy once in a while just to keep things balanced. And you were the lucky one today when in the final minute of the game out of pure adrenaline rush you were able to sack the enemy quarterback on their own end zone, practically winning a tied game.

Immediately everybody was shouting your name and rising you to the sky. You were today's heroe. And that leads to where you are now. At the bedroom of someone that you don’t even know, with your pants around your knees and the girls of your dream half naked kneeling in front of you. 

This was one of the many parties to which you were dragged tonight. Of course everybody wants to have the hero at their party, and your captains were shure you that you attended every party around the campus that night. Till you ended up in this house, very drunk, and in some magic way crossing paths with Momo. She was kinda drunk too and for some reason was also very happy to meet the new college heroe. Maybe because beside her almost no one brings joy to this university in sports. Yes, she wasn't just hot but also a champion.

Then things are blurry in your memory. Maybe you were dragged into a drinking game, and maybe you also ended up doing that stupid “Seven minutes in heaven “ game with Momo, you are seriously too drunk to remember if that really happened. But if it happened probably that was what led to this. 

You were kissing Momo in the hallway on the second floor, and touching her in a very inappropriate way, when you kicked a random door and both entered the room, shutting the door behind you. Things quickly escalated but sadly you didn't have a single condom with you. Why would you have one if you aren't getting laid in the first place? So Momo decided to reward you with something special instead. That's why she was on her knees with her torso naked, and spitting on her tits to make them slippery.

At this very moment in your opinion the discussion about Momo’s tiddies versus her ass is finished. Her boobs were by far the biggest you had ever seen in person. They are like twoo fucking ships on the middle of the sea, moving at a discontinuous and not symmetric passe while Momo is spreading her saliva between them. One coming up when the other is coming down at the rhythm of her breath and hands. You were frankly amazed by the size of her breast. 

Momo bites her lower lips looking at you in a sexy but shy way. “I don’t do this with anyone.” And you knew that was true, there isn’t a single rumor about her sleeping with anyone or hooking up at parties. In fact you weren't sure if a sports strat like her was even attending these kinds of parties, and that made you feel even luckier. “But you seem to be nice.” That and also that both of you are very drunk right now. 

Momo wraps her fingers around your shaft stroking you and spreading her saliva over you too, that is until your dick is wet and shiny. You desperately need her to suck you, to feel her warm mouth around your meat, but instead your reward is another. Momo puts your shaft between her monumental tits and uses her hand to push them together. Her boobs are so big that your tip is barely visible over the crack of her cleavage. God, obviously her tits are better than her ass.  

And then the fun begins. Momo uses her hands to move her massive breasts up and down, sending you immediately to heaven. The feeling is amazing, your shaft is surrounded by the soften skiing ever had been. And her boobs are so soft that seem like you’re fucking cotton candy. You feel on the clouds.

“Does it feel good?” All you can elaborate as an answer is a moan because everything feels so amazing. To be honest you haven't had action in a while, so at this point everything should feel amazing. But you know this is different, you know that her tits are casting some kind of spell over you. Otherwise why is your shaft so hard right now? 

You’re praying for this to not be a dream. You're thanking the universe to allow you to make that play and end this night like this, with the girls of your dream stroking your dick with her tits. And Oh God! what a great job she’s doing. Momo’s hand never stops moving her boobs, maintaining your shaft sealed between them and maximizing your pleasure. All you can do is moan and look at her with a freshly discovered passion. 

Momo isn’t just hot as fuck but also so damn beautifull. Her delicate features  always capture your attention, and now seeing her with her mouth open spitting more saliva over her tits to maintain them lubricated,  feels like an extra reward to you. You don’t even want that blowjob anymore, that feels out of please now. It feels like an abuse of your luck to want something more from her, because this is already so amazing.

 Momo is panting with the effort of moving her tits up and down, and even like that she looks beautiful.  She is like an angel with big boobs, but still like an angel. Even with her tongue out to let her saliva drip over her tits she looks so damn beautiful in your eyes. Well, not for nothing she’s the most desired girl on the campus.

You let her do what she wants with your shaft, and obviously she has a lot of control over her body. After all she’s and gymnastic start, she clearly knows how to move her body and what to do with every single one of her muscles, and that includes her big boobs.The waves that her fat tits create over your dick, stimulating you to a new level of pleasure,  is more than you can mange. 

“I-I-I’m�� Clo-Clooooseee.” You warn her but all what Momo does is increase the pace of her movement, and pushes her tits even closer together, sending you over the edge of your climax. Your dick spills thick ropes of semen over her breast, covering her entire chest with your white and sticky fluid. Flooding her big tits with your seed and making it even easier for her to milk you using your semen as lubricant too. You shoot your load over her massive boobs covering that beautifull mole on her left tiddie, and even drop your semen over her hard light tea big nipples.

“What a mess we made.” Momo said panting and giggling once she set free your shaft from the warm and soft embrace of her boobs. “Can you find me something to clean myself?” Add while trying to gather your semen with her hands but all what she is doing is just spreading it more over her chest. 

You are still amazed by what just happened. You can’t think straight like if you were in some kind of trance, and without realizing what you are doing you take off your shirt and you give it to her. After a few minutes her tits are clean and you put your shirt on again, now stained with your own milk. You’re still in a trance, still very drunk and in disbelief. 

You're thinking of asking for her number, maybe if you're lucky enough another kiss. But you also think this is already too much. In the end what would you pursue asking for her number? What more could obtain from her a drunk loser that is wearing a shirt stained with his fresh semen? But you still have to do it. If it isn't tonight when again would you have the chance to meet the most desired girl on the campus? Maybe the hotter and more desired girl in the entire city you correct yourself.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Something I’ve noticed across collecting different cards is that Twisted Wonderland seems to have a bit of a skew in which characters get character x player ship bait. Between events and card lines, some characters look like they are getting neglected in the ship teasing category. Is there some kind of popularity bias behind this? Like maximizing profit or game popularity by targeting certain groups of fans among the fandom?

Mmm… I haven’t noticed a skew, personally. If there is one at all, I’d wager it isn’t significant and it’ll probably depend a lot on what point in time you’re evaluating at. Since TWST is consistently releasing new content, the voice lines are sure to “even out” eventually if given enough of a waiting period. For example, you could say that the GloMasq boys have “more” bait lines… until Playful Land boys were released the year after, thus leveling the playing field.

All cards have character x player ship bait to some degree. Most of them will have at least 1-2 lines which involves complimenting you/your look (and if not in the card lines, then directly in the event, especially when Yuu has changed into a new outfit), Yuu touching them in some way (or being invited to), or asking Yuu to hang out or to do an activity with them. Everyone gets these lines because there are fans of every character that have spending power; it doesn't make sense to intentionally devote more lines to one while leaving the others starving for content when there are big spenders for all characters (which will vary widely anyway depending on the server too, so there are very few consistent "favorites"). Devoting time and energy to every character is what makes the most profit in the long run, as you risk losing the fans (and money) of "less popular" characters if they don't get new food too. It doesn’t matter that the high spenders for like… Azul stay because they’d still be losing the revenue coming in from Jack stans who dropped the game due to content drought.

I would say that what is and is not categorized as a "shipping bait" line depends a lot on other factors, the strongest of them all being individual perception. For example, if you ship yourself/your Yuusona with the character, you may be more likely to perceive any line spoken by your favorites as "more romantic" than other characters. This feeds into your preexisting expectations, and is therefore a form of confirmation bias. Meanwhile, if you ship two canon characters with one another, there are many more potential combinations so it's less likely that the particular ship you're into will get "bait". Additionally, some people are more liberal with what they perceive to be romantic or not. For example, Ace inviting you out to do something can be seen as both platonic or romantic, based on who is judging the line because there isn’t anything inherently romantic in spending time together. This is also the case in the main story or events; some players see Yuu giving Malleus the VDC/SDC ticket in book 5 as "a date" while others do not. This brings me to another point: character relationships within the main story and their personalities will also have a drastic impact on what is perceived as romantic or not. Rook, for example, speaks in a very flowery manner. Because of this, a majority of his lines could be seen as "bait". Characters that are gruffer (Jack) or "loner" types (Idia) would naturally have fewer inviting lines due to their characters. And again, with Ace, since he is presented as one of Yuu's closest friends in the main story, it's easy to perceive him as a platonic bestie when reading his lines since your friendship is already established.

Lastly, I think it's worthwhile to consider that there are also nuances that are lost in translation between JP and EN, which may alter which lines are seen as "bait" and which aren't. A really popular one I see floating around is Malleus's vignette level up line, which is translated in EN as "You aren’t afraid of me. But I’m starting to become afraid… of losing you.” Many fans perceive this as romantic and often joke that “Malleus missed the meeting about TWST not being a dating sim!” However, this line has a different context in JP which reads as more platonic.

The original Japanese line is お前は僕を恐れない。そんなお前を失うことが僕は恐ろしくなり始めている。This roughly has the same meaning, but the wording Malleus uses seems to specify that he is afraid of losing the Yuu that is not afraid of him. EN omits the そんな (son na) part, which would refer to a type or kind of person (as in, “son na hito”). In this case, Malleus is afraid of losing “the kind of Yuu that is not afraid of him”. So really, the original meaning of the line is that he is expressing a fear of what would happen if his true identity comes to light (as Yuu is the one person who doesn’t know), not that he is afraid of losing Yuu as a whole.

To summarize: it’s up to individual perception and, given enough time, every boy will get their fair share of fanservice for the player.

[sunderwight]

Considering how popular Qijiu and Liujiu are as a ships, and that a lot of people seem to headcanon Liu Qingge as having at least crushed on Yue Qingyuan for a while, I'm surprised there aren't more throuple/OT3 fics for them.

I mean not actually because it would be such a bad idea. They would have so many problems. There would be so many hurdles, like even just getting two of these guys to hookup usually involves some degree of truth serum or cosmic intervention or fuck-or-die scenarios, but embroiling all three of them in something like that would just let their bizarro brain worms thrive. Each of them is convinced that they are somehow the third wheel. Shen Jiu thinks that the only thing stopping Liu Qingge from plotting to kill him is that he's not clever enough to plot, and that Yue Qingyuan is enduring his inclusion under sufferance of guilt. Liu Qingge thinks that Shen Jiu is definitely actively plotting to kill him to get him out of the way, and that Yue Qingyuan is enduring his inclusion under sufferance of guilt. Yue Qingyuan is sure that any day now Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu are going to figure out that they're actually perfect for one another and then eject him from the polycule. They are all not speaking to each other but also regularly having furniture-shattering sex. Despite everything, the sex improves their dispositions so much that none of the other peak lords dare to intervene.

[thankskenpenders]

Help me out here: Why is there so much Ian Flynn hate going around lately? I thought everyone loved that he was contributing to the games. Now suddenly they aren't. I guess that's par for the course for this series but I don't get it. He isn't perfect but I like what he's done. Am I a weirdo?

Ian Flynn has always had a lot of fans, but any creator putting their work out there is going to have detractors as well. That's just the nature of being an artist. To some extent, it's no big deal. He's not a perfect writer. Nobody is! I consider myself a fan of his work, but I've criticized plenty of individual writing decisions from him on here.

But Ian doesn't just have critics. He has his own obsessive hatedom. And the specific nature of Ian's hatedom is... interesting.

A decade ago, Ian was only the guy writing for Archie Sonic, meaning any debates over his work were quarantined within that tiny niche of the larger Sonic fandom. Only people who kept up with the comics month to month had any real reason to have an opinion on the guy, which means we're talking about merely thousands of fans as opposed to millions.

Within that group, he had some haters. You had the people who were mad about story changes made during his run, particularly things like ancillary characters getting killed off (although over the years we've learned that most of those were editorial mandates from Mike Pellerito). You had the people mad that Ian didn't push their favorite ship, with feuding SonAmy and Sonally fans claiming that he was CLEARLY biased towards one or the other. You had the people who just really, really liked one of the previous writers way more - usually Penders, as hard as that may be to believe today. That sort of thing. Pretty normal comic fandom type stuff. Again, it comes with the territory.

Unfortunately, many of those haters only got worse over time, morphing into reactionaries who constantly try to incite Comicsgate type culture war bullshit.

There are people still mad at Ian for making Sally bi and pairing her with Nicole instead of Sonic in the later Archie comics. There have been elaborate MS Paint red string conspiracy boards explaining how people like Ian and Jon Gray have apparently been destroying the franchise from the inside for years by Making Sonic Woke. (Jon gets dragged into this because people are still mad about him drawing The Slap 20 years later. Yes, really!!) There was an unhinged change.org petition trying to get Ian fired, specifically from people who were mad that the Freedom Fighters aren't in the IDW comics. There was even a very sad little fan campaign from these people trying to get Sega to move the Sonic comic license away from IDW and over to Udon, because they thought Udon would bring Sally and Bunnie back and also make them sexy again. There's a lot of this.

(Unfortunately, Penders has also exacerbated this by gossiping about Ian on Twitter and giving these fans ammo, but that's a whole 'nother discussion.)

The thing is, for years, people who only played the games or watched the cartoons had no reason to pay attention to any of this. Now, though, Ian isn't just writing for some weird spinoff comics that only the super nerds read. Now he's writing comics that are canon to the games, and ALSO some of the games themselves, and ALSO consulting on other tie-in media like Sonic Prime, and ALSO writing the official Sonic encyclopedia, and ALSO serving as part of the new Sonic Lore Team at Sega. And on top of all this, he's got an increasingly popular podcast where he fields questions about his work on all of these things, which serves as one of the fandom's main windows into creative decisions being made behind the scenes.

As a fan of Ian's work, it's been really cool to see him rise in prominence. But the dark side of this is that his obsessive haters from the Archie days now have WAY more of a potential audience of their own. Now, every Sonic fan has to have an opinion on Ian. What this frequently means is that you'll have the Comicsgate types taking things Ian writes or says out of context, attempting to get more of the general fandom to yell at the guy.

Unfortunately, there are a wide variety of Sonic fans who take the bait:

You've got hardcore fans who disliked basically any recent piece of Sonic media and are looking for someone to blame.

You've got the people who are concerned about the sanctity of Sonic's canon, who shoot the messenger any time Ian mentions a new retcon from Sonic Team on the podcast - or any time he even mentions the THOUGHT of changing anything about the canon, as we saw recently with the Sol Dimension nonsense.

You've got people who romanticize some sort of mythical artistic vision that Sega of Japan supposedly has (or had) for the franchise. To many of these fans, American contributors like Ian just don't "get" the heart of the series and are trying to turn Sonic into something different. (This "heart of the series" tends to be some mix of Japanese instruction manual lore, the cinematics from Sonic CD, the OVA, and/or the games written by Shiro Maekawa, depending on what Sonic media the fan in question grew up with.)

You've got fans of specific characters or ships who pin the blame for how their faves are depicted entirely on Ian - most vocally fans of Shadow, even though the root problem is that Sonic Team hasn't known what to do with Shadow since 2006. At best this stops at regular old criticism, but at its worst this devolves into claims that Ian has an agenda against certain characters.

You've got fans annoyed by a perceived over-emphasis on comic-original characters in the IDW comics, ignoring the obvious facts that these characters exist because the game cast is so tightly controlled by Sega, and also, you know, that people just like the IDW characters and want more stories about them.

You've got a LOT of discourse over IDW's Sonic being a hero who tries to give his enemies second chances, as if half of Sonic's closest friends aren't already former villains and rivals. Honestly this is very transparently just reheated Steven Universe discourse lmao

You'll also see people who just think they could do Ian's job better. They can't believe that THIS GUY is the American fan working on all these Sonic projects, when clearly THEY understand the characters and lore and themes SO much better than this charlatan.

All it takes is for someone in one of these categories to be unhappy about some recent piece of Sonic media, and for them to come across an out of context quote or comic panel that rubs them the wrong way, and suddenly the leftist Zoomer Sonic fans will join the latest dogpile on Ian alongside the reactionary Comicsgate types who are mad at him for Making Sonic Woke.

In general, when fandoms get upset, they tend to want a scapegoat. A person or two to point a finger at and go "THAT's who ruined the thing I love!" This tends to be based less on reality and more on which contributors are the most visible online. You'll sometimes see teenage and adult fans of children's cartoons single out a storyboarder who's particularly vocal on Twitter, blame them for every story decision they don't like, and harass them off the platform out of a sense of retribution for their favorite ship or whatever. Failing that, fans might choose to blame every nitpick, down to individual lines of dialogue and frames of animation, on a showrunner, just because that's the name they associate with the show. And unfortunately, when it comes to Sonic, Ian is now arguably the most prolific and outspoken contributor on the English speaking internet, and therefore a common scapegoat.

Some of the things I've seen Ian blamed for are truly wild. A lot of people have claimed for YEARS that he's just lying about the existence of creative guidelines and restrictions from Sega - or, as fans call them, The Mandates - even though they're just an inherent aspect of working on a licensed property. Others claim that The Mandates are real, but somehow Ian's fault. A vocal minority of fans have convinced themselves that Ian is the sole reason the Freedom Fighters don't exist in the IDW comics, even though Ian says he's been pushing to bring them back since day one.

Sometimes you'll see people say he ruined shit he didn't even work on. A few weeks ago on Twitter I saw someone claim that Ian had written a rejected script for Sonic Forces in which Tails died. I could not find a source for this for the life of me. As far as I can tell, the rumor seems to have been born from an alleged leaked script for Forces with margin notes from Aaron Webber that criticized the way Tails was written, and also an old tweet where Aaron joked that Tails would die in an upcoming episode of Sonic Mania Adventures. These merged into "Aaron Webber criticized a draft of the Forces script in which Tails died." How'd Ian get dragged into this? Who fucking knows!

It's all just a big game of telephone. All it takes is some asshole to make something up about Ian on Twitter or YouTube or a DeviantArt journal or some forum, and at least a couple people will believe it, and then it gets repeated as fact. Again, this used to be contained by the niche nature of the Archie Sonic fandom, but now there are WAY more people who are receptive to this shit.

It's just sad to me that Ian tries to be so open and honest about his work, to try to explain the rationale for certain things, to keep fans looped in on the direction the franchise is headed, and this just gives the Flynnspiracy types more quotes to take out of context and try to paint him as the devil. If it sounds like I'm being overly defensive and dismissing his critics, man... some of the things I've seen people say directly to him are just unbelievable. People will send paragraphs-long angry screeds in to his podcast that completely tear him apart, and he has to sit there and be like "Well, that's your opinion, and you're entitled to it." People literally pay for special guest interview episodes where they just rapid fire complaints about his writing at him directly to his face. I don't know how he does it. I would snap.

All of this over Sonic the fucking Hedgehog of all things.

I don't know how to wrap this up. Engaging with fandoms online is very tiring, which is why I tend not to do it. Things like this are too common. I guess, just... remember that making art collaboratively is a complicated thing. The people involved are generally trying their best given the circumstances, but they're only human. They make mistakes. But please treat them like humans. Criticism and dogpiling are not the same thing.

[nothankyoudear]

I think it genuinely cannot be overstated how important that kiss in season 2 of Good Omens was.

From a plot standpoint, that kiss showed Crowley's desperate attempts to keep Aziraphale, to reel him in and back to the Us that they had built upon.

But from just a show standpoint, they. fucking. kissed.

Obviously their love transcends physicality, and Neil has said that Good Omens is a love story even before season 2, but the outright confirmation of a widely popular queer ship ON SCREEN is just so... Unheard of.

Every fandom or show has their trademark gay couple that aren't-really-gay-but-also-kind-of-are-gay: Merlin and Arthur, Sherlock and John (very heavy offender), Dean and Castiel (okay this one was canon, but we all know what happened IMMEDIATELY afterwards), and I suppose at some point Ineffable Husbands had just been included in the same category as the rest of them.

And to have it be moved from mostly fandom and fan work fuelled to outright canon - like 'they fucking kissed on screen' canon - is just so fucking fantastic.

It's not vague, it's not lines that are blurred for the sake of being on the fence of appealing to two audiences at once, and it's not only canon because the creator just said it's canon without rhyme or reason purely for the sake of appealing to a queer audience (looking at you, Ms J. K. Rowling) - it's undeniable, blatant evidence that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love.

And yes, at the moment it's devastating, but it's also devastatingly real. And that's so important.

Especially with the release of Our Flag Means Death, I really do hope we are entering a new era in mainstream media where queer ships finally aren't treated as some sort of mysterious prize that the writers dangle in front of you like a carrot on a stick, and are just simply treated like any other ship out there.

Because if so, then queer kids will be growing up to these shows, see this new era of unabashedly queer media, and won't have to hide away their ships like some dirty little secret. They won't have to wonder if their representation is even representation. They won't have to get excited over being able to see the small chance of themselves represented in a character only to be let down so incredibly badly, because queerness is good only when it's marketable.

So sure, ending season 2 like that is fucking crazy, but you know what's crazier? Whatever the fuck Neil just did with that kiss.

[canmom]

I've been watching Star Trek, and also been learning about boats. Like, a big boat is more stable in the water, so you don't get tossed and turned so much when it's rocked by waves or turning.

Now, on Star Trek, they do the dramatic tilt-y cam and actors flinging themselves around. This makes sense when the ship is hit by weapons, but sometimes they do it when they are navigating asteroid fields and such. The original Enterprise (from the 60s) is 288m long, similar to a modern cruise liner, 127m wide, 73m wide, and 190,000 tonnes. Surely even a high-speed jaunt through an asteroid field would be barely felt on the bridge (which is the tiny raised part in the centre of the saucer)?

Hello anon! You're not wrong that like, there is a lot of artistic license in Star Trek's treatment of astrophysics.

The 'asteroid fields' seen in Wars and Trek are presumably inspired by the asteroid belt in our solar system between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter. It is true that there are a lot more big space rocks in the asteroid belt than there are in much of the rest of the solar system. However, space is really very big so there's a lot of room for big rocks. Spacecraft are routinely able to pass through the asteroid belt without coming anywhere near an asteroid (which is good, because at space velocities, collisions are really catastrophic).

The largest asteroids such as Ceres are nowadays classified as 'dwarf planets'; they might be as big as around 1000 kilometres in diameter, which is about 1/12 the diameter of the Earth. Many other asteroids are also hundreds of kilometres big. With the dimensions you've given me, if the Enterprise collided with such an asteroid, it would be a 'bug on a windscreen' kind of situation and the Enterprise would certainly not come off better for the experience.

However, most asteroids aren't quite so big. Here's a log-linear graph of the size distribution of asteroids:

There's about a million asteroids a kilometre big, and about ten million a hundred metres across; at some point the asteroids become too small for us to track, but I assume this approximately power-law distribution holds down to some small size.

Now, that sounds like a lot of asteroids, but the thing is they're spread across an absolutely enormous region of space. They cover a range of orbital radii of about 1 AU, which is to say the distance between the Earth and the sun, and a range of orbital inclinations about 20 degrees:

So, assuming we had about 10 million asteroids of 100m or bigger, that turns out to be about 1E-27 asteroids of that size per cubic metre of space. Which is to say you'd need to explore a cube of about 900,000km on a side to find even one asteroid that big. Space is really, truly, extremely very big. So, far from this kind of scene (src)...

...you'd be lucky to see even one rock outside the window. As Wikipedia puts it:

Contrary to popular imagery, the asteroid belt is mostly empty. The asteroids are spread over such a large volume that reaching an asteroid without aiming carefully would be improbable.

Now, OK, that's our solar system's asteroid belt. What about in deeper space? The thing is, big space rocks don't tend to just hang out. Our solar system's asteroid belt is presently thought to be a result of Jupiter disrupting the coalescence of planetesimals into a planet during the formation of the solar system. So in general, without a Jupiter, either your big bundle of space rocks has enough kinetic energy to spread out into space like a gas, or it doesn't and their mutual gravity causes them to collapse into a big clump, forming something planetish.

The Star Trek/Wars picture of a bunch of space rocks just kind of floating around doesn't make any sense on astrophysical timescales; about the only way you might see that is if some kind of much bigger rock has very recently exploded, and especially if you're in orbit around something or other which can keep the particles reasonably close together. The rings of Saturn are a great example, consisting mainly of bits of ice smaller than 10m. Saturn's rings are probably the closest place we know to a scifi asteroid field, but they are also incredibly thin, in many parts only tens of metres across.

So in short 'asteroid fields' in the depths of space are kind of not a thing. But what if they were?

On a boat, you are held against the water by gravity; you have various restoring forces, e.g. if the boat dips under water, it gets pushed back out by buoyancy. This causes, in physics-speak, oscillations on various timescales. The dynamics of ships are very complicated, but it has a lot to do with the buoyancy of water rather than collisions with solid objects. Here's Casual Navigation, pretty much my go-to source for any questions about how boats work, explaining the physics of ships rolling, and ways we mitigate that:

Water buoyancy applies a kind of 'soft' force spread relatively evenly across the surface of a ship, so the ship responds mostly rigidly by rolling around, maybe flexing a bit. But when ships actually hit something hard, even something like a sandbank, it tends to go very poorly for them.

In general, a spaceship is not very much like a boat. Space is, notably, a place where there aren't any fluids. Most of the ways that vehicles move on Earth don't really apply in space.

On the ocean, land or even air, objects in motion tend to stop (or at least fall downwards) due to friction and drag, and you need a constant supply of energy to stay moving in a straight line. In space, the opposite is true - you keep moving along your orbit unless you provide energy to change direction. Rocket acceleration is very limited and you try to do as little as possible. With real spacecraft, you mostly move along a ballistic trajectory, applying 'burns' with your rocket at just the right moment to push you onto a new trajectory - or you have a very weak but efficient engine like an ion drive which very gradually nudges you onto the trajectory you want.

In hardish scifi, we can handwave a lot of this complexity away by imagining amazing futuristic technologies like fusion torches and antimatter drives, which allow us to follow 'brachistochrone' trajectories, where you accelerate at something like 1g all the way up to the midpoint of your trajectory and then flip around and slow down. These have their own worldbuilding implications (which is to say the difference between a really fast spaceship and a weapon of mass destruction is basically which way you point it), but it allows you to get on with your plot without having your characters spending years in transit.

Star Trek is not hard scifi, although it sometimes likes to cosplay as it, so trying to apply this kind of standard is a fool's errand. Still, let's consider it. In Star Trek, spaceships move around in two ways. They have something called a warp drive, which allows FTL by distorting spacetime - it is presumably inspired by the Alcubierre metric (edit: no it isn't, it actually predates Alcubierre and he took inspiration from star trek in naming his solution a 'warp drive'), a solution to the field equations of general relativity that allows you to move a 'bubble' of spacetime at FTL speeds. There are many reasons to think the Alcubierre metric wouldn't actually work, or be survivable inside the bubble if it did; how it would interact with matter in the path of the bubble is unclear, but it seems quite likely it would scrape it all up at the front of the bubble and then perhaps release it at the destination in a blast of ultra-high-energy radiation. At least getting hit by asteroids is not a concern...

For slower-than-light travel, Star Trek ships apparently move around with something called an 'impulse drive', which is just a fusion rocket. (We shouldn't ask questions like 'where do you keep the reaction mass' or 'why doesn't the spaceship spin when the force vector is off-axis').

So, as far as space rocks, the big concern is that at high velocities, collisions with any tiny meteorites on your path have more and more energy, much like being shot with a bullet. It's less about shaking the ship around and more about damaging it, because at this kind of scale and energy, rigid things don't tend to stay rigid when they collide. Real solutions to this problem include things like layers of thin 'whipple shields' which break up the meteorite into small fragments before they hit the spacecraft. There's some crazier ideas out there, like spraying hot droplets from your engine's cooling system ahead of the ship to intercept dust grains and catching them with magnetic fields as you accelerate forwards.

I don't know that much Trek lore, but my understanding is they have some kind of magic 'shield' that prevents damage when they git hit by weapons. This presumably stops any space rocks from smashing right through the decks. But as you observe, the rapid camera shaking doesn't make a lot of sense either: it suggests some kind of shock going through the structure of the vessel. The ship is somehow getting hit by something with enough momentum to shake it violently but not throw it off course or severely damage it. That's not really how structures on this kind of scale work.

Of course, the main purpose of the screen shake is dramatic: you need to convey the characters are in a dangerous situation, and if they're all just sitting calmly in the set watching things play out on the screen, that doesn't really 'sell' it. Just like a wrestler pretending to be injured, you need your actors to convey the stakes of the space battle, and throwing themselves around the set is a very cheap way to do it. The asteroid field serves as a scifi version of a choppy sea or ice floe, adding an extra element of constant tension; it doesn't really matter that it doesn't make sense.

Much the same dramatic techniques are still used in more recent scifi, even relatively hard scifi such as The Expanse - observe the use of camera shake (though milder than in Star Trek), reaction shots, characters helpfully providing commentary ('they were expecting that', 'I'm putting us into a spin'). Or this scene; we link the action 'outside' (the full 3DCG space scenes) to the action 'inside' by changes of lighting (there's no real reason for turning the lights blue during combat except that it looks cool), bullets punching through the ship (so scary), and characters getting pushed around by g-forces. The plot contrives for the ships to do a close flyby while strafing each other with machine guns. This is a thrilling scene, and it relies on much later iterations of the 'shake the camera' concept - to link what is happening 'outside' to the characters we care about 'inside'.

Here is a breakdown of what is apparently the first, iconic Star Trek battle scene from which everything else follows:

This sequence is essentially taking most of its cues from submarine movies such as The Enemy Below: the two ships are attempting to figure out where the other is and get in an advantageous position. It is mostly a prediction battle between the two captains, both presented as honourable gentlemen types in what is essentially a duel. The mechanics of the ships is largely based on thin scifi skins over boat stuff.

In general, Star Trek takes various measures to make the captain and bridge crew the main people who 'matter' to a story, which keeps the cast and sets to a manageable size. The thing is, of course, that modern ships are much bigger than the sort of historical ships that could be imagined to be led by a charismatic captain having heroic exploits. There are thousands of people supposedly on board the Enterprise, but you wouldn't know it from the way the characters act.

It's notable that the inspiration here is a WWII movie, pretty much the last time big ships fought big ships. (Star Wars also takes most of its cues from WWII). The principle activity of modern warships seems mostly to be making a political gesture by floating around somewhere, maybe launching some missiles or planes. It's been a long time since we've seen ships having battles with other ships, and ships were a lot smaller then. A military officer is, as I understand it, someone who's a lot more like a politician or company manager, whose job is to keep a large and complex organisation running smoothly. (No doubt you remember the old saying about logistics and tactics.)

So more than the dubious engineering of having the bridge rattle around, I think 'the bridge crew are all charismatic geniuses from whom all the action flows' is the really big liberty that Star Trek takes with its storytelling, from which a lot of other things follow.

Everything in the sequence from Balance of Terror is designed to ratchet up tension for the bridge officers as much as possible - and we see the screen shake and actors getting thrown about here too. In a naval battle, this makes sense: a big explosion near your ship will cause a wave in the water which will rock the ship. In space... not so much. For example, a big shake happens when a nuclear weapon goes off near the Enterprise. A nuclear weapon deployed in space is mainly there to cause heating, not to push things around. But the big moves of the battle are punctuated by everyone getting thrown about: it's a way of saying 'something important just happened'. If the nuke went off and we didn't hear anything, but Kirk was just like 'ok cool, that missed us, good job' it would feel less significant.

Over time I'm sure this device got diluted down until nearly anything would result in people flopping about! But yeah, tl;dr: it is purely a dramatic convention leaning hard on WWII movies, not something that makes a lot of within-the-fiction sense if you think about it at all.

What would space battles look like in real life? We can only speculate, of course, it may never come to pass at all. But if it does, probably it's going to be more a story of shooting expensive missiles at extremely long range to hit things that are too far away to see without a telescope, rather than thrilling close-range dogfights or tense naval mind games. And with humans being very squishy and not taking well to extreme acceleration, you probably want to avoid having them on your ships if you can help it. Which is a bit of an obstacle for a dramatic presentation, unless you want to focus on the disconnect between the comfy air-conditioned drone control room and the horrible destruction being wrought on the ground - and honestly that is a very relevant thing to want to do in the present era.

Plenty of people would still presumably be in harm's way in the space war. But the problem is that in general, the story that people want to tell with military fiction is about heroic characters whose individual efforts make a difference to the course of The War. Not just someone having a bunch of meetings full of incomprehensible acronyms and then randomly dying to a missile that was launched from the other side of the solar system that their side's interceptor system failed to catch.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

hello! i was wondering whether or not you can envision someone as better suited for tom/voldemort since i remember you saying neither harry nor hermione would be a match — them being the most popular two characters shipped with tom. and on that note, what do you think about bellatrix and voldemort? pro/against?

i tend to get a bit blindsided by the sheer obsession she has for him, honestly. i mean… i feel like she would be willing to shape herself down to the last atom to what appeals to him, if he ever were to show any true interest, and that’s very… sad.

Hello 👋

Thank you for the ask and as with all ship asks, ship what you ship, these are just my subjective opinions.

Now, what I said about Tomarrymort is that I don't think they would realistically get together and have a functioning relationship, I didn't say it wasn't fun. Like, I love Tomarrymort, but only if the relationship is a messy push and pull that makes everyone (both involved and uninvolved) miserable.

Now, as for Bellamort...

Do I think they had sex at some point in canon? Maybe. Like, that's not the most absurd thing about CC for me, so I consider it plausible.

Do I think Voldemort actually likes Bella romantically? Not really.

Do I think their relationship works like an actual equal functional relationship? Not one bit.

Do I think their relationship is entertaining and interesting? I mean, clearly, many people do, but I don't like Bellamort.

Like, it really doesn't interest me. There's a reason I only like Tomarrymort when there's a push and pull and Harry and Tom are portrayed as the equals they are. Like, I don't like Tomarrymort where Harry is completely submissive to Voldemort and Bellamort for the same reason — these aren't the kind of relationships that make Tom interesting.

I like both Tom and Bellatrix a lot as individuals, but I don't think a romantic and/or sexual relationship between them pushes their characters to interesting places. They are both stagnate in this relationship and, for me personally, that just doesn't interest me.

Like, Bellatrix is completely submissive to Voldemort nodding her head excitedly and panting after him: "Yes my lord! Whatever you say, my lord!" And this is not the type of dynamic that'd push either character towards growth. They don't push each other into a character arc, which is what I usually like my ships to do.

Additionally, this dynamic basically means Voldemort always gets what he wants, and Bellatrix is happy with it, as you said, she'd shape herself for his every whim. This isn't a relationship between equals. It's a relationship where she worships him and he doesn't respect her or care about her as a person. Like, at all.

The dynamic we see from them in the books gave me the impression Voldemort cares about Bellatrix. He doesn't want her to be hurt or to die:

Bellatrix’s gloating smile froze, her eyes began to bulge: For the tiniest space of time she knew what had happened, and then she toppled, and the watching crowd roared, and Voldemort screamed.

(DH)

But he cares about her like how you care about your favorite pet. He relished in giving her orders and having her submit completely:

“Master, I am sorry, I knew not, I was fighting the Animagus Black!” sobbed Bellatrix, flinging herself down at Voldemort’s feet as he paced slowly nearer. “Master, you should know —” “Be quiet, Bella,” said Voldemort dangerously. “I shall deal with you in a moment. Do you think I have entered the Ministry of Magic to hear your sniveling apologies?” “But Master — he is here — he is below —” Voldemort paid no attention.

(OotP)

He doesn't actually care about her being hurt if it's not too bad, he doesn't care about her feelings or apologies, especially not when Harry is right in front of him — his obsession, his one failure. Bellatrix takes a backseat, basically always. He doesn't care about her all that much. He cares and respects her like a loyal dog, not like a person he has a relationship with.

He also relished in humiliating and embarrassing her. He likes making fun of her in ways Bella clearly does not enjoy, which isn't something you'd do to someone you love:

“I’m talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And your, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.” There was an eruption of jeering laughter from around the table. Many leaned forward to exchange gleeful looks, a few thumped the table with their fists. The great snake, disliking the disturbance, opened its mouth and hissed angrily, but the Death Eaters did not hear it, so jubilant where that at Bellatrix and the Malfoys’ humiliation. Bellatrix’s face, so recently flushed with happiness, had turned an ugly, blotchy red.

(DH)

she's desperate to please him, to tell him everything she thinks he wants to hear and she happily lets him treat her like fucking dirt. I don't find a relationship like that compelling, as I said, Voldemort would never change for Bellatrix and Bellatrix honestly deserves better than this. He even lets other Death Eaters jeer and laugh at her, this is not a romantic relationship.

Like even if he had sex with her, it was purely physical as he just doesn't care about her as a person like this. As more than a faithful servant (which he enjoys making fun of, as he does so for many of them).

And he is unwilling to show her real, unintentional weakness or ask her for help:

“My Lord, let me—” “I do not require assistance,” said Voldemort coldly, and though he could not see it, Harry pictured Bellatrix withdrawing a helpful hand.

(DH)

He does trust her with one of his Horcrux as the cup is kept in her vault and she seems to know what it is:

“Be quiet! The situation is graver than you can possibly imagine, Cissy! We have a very serious problem!” She stood, panting slightly, looking down at the sword, examining its hilt. Then she turned to look at the silent prisoners. “If it is indeed Potter, he must not be harmed,” she muttered, more to herself than to the others. “The Dark Lord wishes to dispose of Potter himself. . . . But if he finds out . . . I must . . . I must know. . . .”

(DH)

He trusts her loyalty, and she is one of his preferred Death Eaters (he doesn't hate her like he does Wormtail, Tom appreciates courage and loyalty, which are both traits Bellatrix possesses) but he clearly doesn't trust her with his backstory in the first war:

“Shut your mouth!” Bellatrix shrieked. “You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, you dare besmirch it with your half-blood’s tongue, you dare —” “Did you know he’s a half-blood too?” said Harry recklessly. Hermione gave a little moan in his ear. “Voldemort? Yeah, his mother was a witch but his dad was a Muggle — or has he been telling you lot he’s pureblood?” “STUPEF —” “NO!” A jet of red light had shot from the end of Bellatrix Lestrange’s wand, but Malfoy had deflected it. His spell caused hers to hit the shelf a foot to the left of Harry and several of the glass orbs there shattered. [...] “He dared — he dares —” shrieked Bellatrix incoherently. “— He stands there — filthy half-blood —”

(OotP)

She doesn't really know who Voldemort is. She worships the persona of Voldemort. She loves his lies and masks. She doesn't actually know Tom Riddle. And I don't think she could accept and love the real Tom Riddle behind the title of Voldemort — the poor but brilliant nerdy half-blood who craves recognition. She would find him pathetic.

It's basically Hinny, isn't it?

She adores his persona and fame and what people think he is without actually knowing or understanding him. She changes her personality to fit what she thinks his girl needs to be because she is so focused on being with him. And He likes that she doesn't get in his way and lets him do and say whatever without crying about it but doesn't care about her or her feelings nearly as much as people think.

Bellamort is just Hinny with a different skin, and I never liked Hinny.

Like Hinny, they don't know or understand each other, and it's clear Bella and Ginny care about Voldemort and Harry more than the boys care about them. Like, yes, Harry would be devastated if Ginny died, but he'd get over it way faster than he did about Sirius. Same for Voldemort, he cares about Bella, but not as an equal he understands and cares for the feelings of. Voldemort got over Bella's death fairly quickly as well, he's way more focused on Harry.

So, with all of this, who do I think is the best pairing for Voldemort?

If we're talking about canon characters who are actually characters in the books? Then Harry is my top choice. Harry is the only one Voldemort would see as an equal and can actually push and change Voldemort as much as Voldemort changes him. There is no other character in canon, I believe, who would be able to do this to the level Harry could. Their dynamic is just so mutually obsessive and tense that a relationship like that can't not change both of them in a myriad of interesting ways.

Though, I was thinking about it, and Severus/Voldemort have potential. Voldemort clearly respects Sev and his opinions more than the average Death Eater:

Snape did not speak. “Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen.” “My Lord—”

(DH)

He cares about him and regrets having to kill him:

Harry saw Snape’s face losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake’s fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor. “I regret it,” said Voldemort coldly

(DH)

Voldy is willing to forgive Sev for things he'd kill most for. They have so much shared experience (poor, muggle childhood in incredibly abusive environments) that would allow them to understand each other. They probably both get frustrated over pureblood idiocy. Both are intelligent and share many interests, like they're both magic nerds who'd talk all night about magical theory...

So, I think, under the right circumstances, Severus is a pretty good pairing for Voldemort.

The only real downside is that depending on when they get together, they'd push each other to be more extremist and overall worse. Like, they'd push each other to have less empathy for other people if they get together, say, during the first war. Well, it might not be a downside. It really depends on how you look at it.

If they get together in the second war, it's different, and in my opinion, more compelling and interesting for both of them. Like, pairing them up after Voldemort's return and after Sev already turned traitor opens so many interesting avenues. I mean, Sev was someone Voldemort actually regretted killing, that was remorse there, wasn't it? It means Severus could push Voldemort to change in a way Bellatrix doesn't. Because Voldemort respects Snape in a way he doesn't respect Bella. I mean, think about how many times Voldemort shut Bella down when she kept insisting Snape is a traitor — it's clear he values Snape more than he values her.

If we're also looking at side characters we don't know as much about, then we have some more options.

@iamnmbr3 has convinced me that Alphard Black/Tom Riddle is an option, and I have been very compelled by it. We don't know much about Alphard, but that never really stopped me because what we do know is interesting.

We know he is Sirius' uncle. He was born after Walburga but before Cygnus, probably closer in age to Walburga. So, I headcanon he was born in 1927 and was in the same year as Tom Riddle.

We know Alphard was a Slytherin since Sirius mentions all his family was in Slytherin, which would include his uncle. And we know Alphard was burned off the family tapestry when he gave Sirius money when Sirius ran away from home.

This leaves us with a character, who's cunning, capable of listening to his older sister Walburga go off about whatever without making the fight worse but has a spine to stand up to her bullshit when it's actually important. This gives him the right characteristics to be able to wrangle a character arc out of a romance with a younger Tom Riddle (and perhaps the older one, too).

He's a pureblood who's open-minded enough to support Sirius and not hate muggleborns (probably). He likely has the subtlety necessary to fix Tom without Tom feeling like he's being fixed. Alphard, used to his very eventful family, is an expert in dealing with dramatic people (like his siblings) and how to undercut their drama instead of pushing them further into their position (which is what Harry would do, for example. Harry and Tom would keep pushing at each other while someone like Alphard would be able to just remove the heat from the argument and allow it to not get as extreme).

Again, it's not much to go on, but it has so much potential.

(Also, @iamnmbr3 has this post about how Voldemort’s violence became worse in 1979, which happens to be the same year Alphard Black died, and while I don't agree with all the points made there, I find it to be a super fun concept)

Voldemort/Lily also has potential. She's smart, stubborn, academically inclined, and has the right rough edges to have the kind of push-and-pull dynamic with Voldemort that I like with Tomarrymort. Lily is probably the kind of witch Voldemort could grow to respect as well. I don't think he would've agreed to spare her for Snape if he didn't respect both of them. JKR also said he tried to recruit James and Lily, so, he was aware that she was talented.

I think, though, Lily/Voldemort would be slightly better than Harry/Voldemort in some aspects. Lily isn't as hot-headed as Harry. Lily's anger is usually much colder, which I feel would work better with Tom just because she wouldn't push all his buttons (just most of them). She would still push him into a character arc, but it would be a gentler nudge than if Harry did it.

My only real rule when shipping Tommy Boy is that he can't be shipped with someone mediocre, he'll just steamroll over them completely, and that's not as fun, in my opinion. He needs a partner he can grow to respect and see as an equal (or close to it) and that has the spine to stand up to him, otherwise, he'd just keep getting what he wants, and I think that's the opposite of what Voldemort needs in a relationship.