#i like sae a lot because he's depressed and he just wants to go home

[yrdnzz]

remembering

[effieotto]

What’s your headcanon about Haymitch and Effie after the rebellion?

Post-Canon Hayffie is just my favorite subjected of all time, so here we go with my favorite headcanons for my favorite silly ones

-Effie started using drugs after the war (real strong drugs, like cocaine and stuff) as a way to cope with her strong suicidal thoughts, and that’s how Haymitch found her two years after he left to Twelve with Katniss, because Plutarch called him for help

-As a consequence of her torture, Effie had injuries that caused permanent damage in her left shoulder, messing with her motor coordination, which made her unable to style her hair by herself. So Haymitch asked Katniss to teach him how to braid her, so he could make her complicated hairdos for her instead

-Effie and Katniss relationship was really hard at the begging, because Effie wasn’t in a great stage of mind to keep her bubbly old self, so between her PTSD, nightmares and withdrawals, combined with Katniss’s grief and severe depression, they were extremely hostile with each other (it is actually a very complex analysis of their relationship, so i���ll let the explanation to another post). So Haymitch and Peeta had to meddle the situation together to not let it get out of control, like they screaming at each others face, blaming them for their own miserable stages

-Haymitch was a huge gossipy man, although he strongly denied that. Therefore, every night, when Effie get home from downtown, they would set in front of the fire with two cups of tea and share every detail about the dirtiest scandal they could find

-Peeta and Effie got together to cultivate a community garden for the few people living on Twelve, where they planted fruits, vegetables and medicinal herbs, not only to help the District to get back to their feet but also to distract their minds

-Every time Haymitch had a bad nightmare, Effie would set his head down on her lap, pet his hair and sing the song his mother used to sing to him when he was a kid (the one she learnt from Grease Sae because she asked her help to learn more about Twelve’s culture, cause she wanted to do it right)

-When she had progressed on her condition, Effie was getting crazy staying at home doing nothing, so she decided to start teaching the young ladies from Twelve all the things she had learned from home (like music, etiquette, sewing, communication etc) -latter she joined an small school to continue her journey-

-Their relationship never changed from what it was before ~They continued with the teasing and fighting like they were still who they were back then, mostly. However, with all the baggage they both now had, they needed to adapt to a new routine. So there was bad days when Haymitch would drink himself to oblivious remembering his dead friends, and Effie would stay completely catatonic over a particular bad flashback. When it happened, the other would give them enough space while doing small things to try and get the other back from their depression

-Effie was obsessed with local festivals and she would drag Haymitch with her every month when Twelve made a big carnival, so they could eat, dance and help Peeta with his pastries stands. At first people who were living in Twelve wasn’t very friendly with her during it, but when she started going earlier to help them build the stands and make their schedules more consistent with all her escort knowledge, they warmed up a little bit -although most of the friends she made came from different Districts, mostly nine, eleven and six. The Twelve original citizens (apart from Grease Sae) never really got to friendly terms with her, for obvious reasons

again, i have many more, but since it was already a lot, maybe i’ll do another one later (if you want)

[verysium]

ive always imagined mrs itoshi to be a really energetic woman. you know those middle aged women that are just so youthful, you can feel her energy and aura when she's in the room. and she would definitely love saes gf. because sae has a personality totally opposite to hers but after committing to a relationship he learns a lot from you and you encourage him to to strengthen his family bonds. she would LOVE spending time with you, talk to you about fashion and gossip. she'd call you her daughter in lawww omg shut up i love her

🥲 *cries in heavily dysfunctional mommy issues* when will it finally be my turn to experience the kind and loving touch of a middle-aged woman? sae better treasure his mama or else i'm gonna steal her from him when he's not looking.

on a more realistic note, i do think mama itoshi would be the type of person who simply doesn't age. there is something irrevocably uplifting and youthful about her, and i think that has a lot to do with the adversity she's faced throughout her lifetime both as a woman and a mother. even though she's soft-spoken, she is firm and headstrong. definitely knows what she wants. she always tells sae that the strongest people are the ones who smile, no matter what life puts them through. (obviously, that lesson flew right over sae's head cus he looks perpetually depressed but whatever...)

i honestly don't think sae has a strong attachment with either parent, but he isn't averse to them either. it's the small things that you pick up about him. how he never lets anyone touch him but stays still when his mother to brush his bangs back. how he never buys those expensive lunch meals during practice because he prefers his mother's homemade bentos. how he doesn't like to show unnecessary emotion but cracks a small smile at his mama's kitchen antics.

idk if it's just me, but i also feel like his mother was the stricter of the two parents. both sae and rin were forced to become self-sufficient from a young age. walked themselves to practice. bought snacks with their own allowance. sae even took a train ride to tokyo by himself to find a representative agent. not saying their parents weren't supportive, but they definitely weren't a constant presence either.

i think what sae needs is time. time to process his youth and to reconcile with his family (both his parents and brother ofc). i feel like he went through a lot of parentification, and undoing that will require a lot of patience. this would probably happen in his late twenties to late thirties, once he's well-established or even retired from football. with so much time on his hands, he has nothing to do but reflect. emotionally mature sae will be very different from current sae.

mama itoshi does welcome you kindly. mostly because none of the itoshis ever fathomed sae getting involved with someone seriously. i just know she has good skincare, so you two probably have girls-only nights where you two do nothing except watch TV dramas and wear face masks. i don't think she's particularly physically affectionate, but she does show her love through cooking. always pinches your cheek fat and tells you that you aren't eating enough (typical asian parent thing to do lmao.) also cuts up random fruits and places it beside your desk lamp while you're working.

i feel like sae has a bit of a hard time coming to terms with the way you assimilate into his family. he already feels like a stranger in his own home, but when his mother treats you like her daughter-in-law, it really gets him thinking. can he be normal? is this what it's like to be normal? is it really okay to have this? long story short, he probably has to reason with himself for one thousand and one nights before he decides he's actually going to marry you.

[cuddlesslut]

Closure

Part Nine to Home

Atsumu x Fem Reader, Suna x Fem Reader, Hinata x Fem Reader

Summary: it’s been so long since you’ve seen each other it’s time for closure

Warnings: angst just angst

A/N : okay first thank you to everyone who has been checking on me thank you so much for all your support. I’m so sorry it took so long to update. It’s been a rough month for me. I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression and personal struggles. So I haven’t had the energy to write. I was finally able to put this together sorry it’s extremely unedited and also sorry if it’s not what you were expecting. I will be writing more to this however I can not say how quickly I will be able to get out the chapters. Again sorry for the inconvenience.

Part Eight: Hope

Your heart beated rapidly as you stared across at Atsumu. It had been months since you had seen your former lover and as much as you wished you were over him it still hurt. Looking at him he hadn’t changed much still as handsome as ever. Although he seemed more sullen not nearly as peppy as he used to be. His Hair had grown out a little more shaggy than it had been , and there were slight bags under his eyes.

The setter sat across from you eyes trained on the drinks sitting in his hands that he had yet to sip from. You could feel the warmth of your coffee through the palm of your hands. A sad grin graced your face. He had ordered your favorite. After all this time he still remembers. That small smile was the only contrast to the somber intensity of this reunion.

Atsumu cleared his throat breaking you from your trance. “I owe you the biggest apology ever, YN, I am so so sorry for what I did,” he stated his voice shaky. He paused looking up at you unshed tear building in his eyes. “ what I did to you was unforgivable I know that, I was the biggest ass to you when all you ever did was support me. I was selfish and I want you to know I’ll never ask you to forgive me because I will never forgive myself.” Atsumu could feel his cheeks becoming damp as he quickly wiped away his tears. He knew he had no right to be sad. He took a deep breath ready to continue his apology when a small whimper escaped you. When your eyes met his he could see the trail out tears streaming down your face. It pained him to see you like this. You had never given him the chance to see your pain before.

Your throat felt tight as you tried to form your words. Part of you wanted to scream at him and tell him how shitty of a person he is. Who cares that he’s sorry it doesn’t change things. But you care. God do you feel like an idiot for doing so but you do. You loved this man for years of you’re life. And no matter the pain he put you through it still hurt to see him like this. You had never seen Atsumu cry in the 6 years of being with him. So seeing him so destroyed right in front of you was a complete shock.

“Why,” you finally chocked out.

“Because you never deserved what I put you through-” he began

“NO,” you snapped losing your composure for a moment. “Why did you do it!”

His eyes grew wide understanding your meaning.

“Why Atsumu! What did I do? Where did i go wrong! Was I not good enough?” You hiccuped tearing streaming down you’re broken face.

“No!” He snapped hurt that you’d ever think of yourself that way. “No don’t you ever think that way YN! You were perfect, You were there for me no matter what, you are beautiful and smart and the kindest person I know it was not your fault!”

“Then why Sumu! Why did you ruin us!” Your voice raising an octave.

“BECAUSE I WAS WEAK!” he broke tears hot tears falling freely. “I was weak and selfish! You were busy and never had time for me anymore because of school. You rarely came to my games at the time. And when I was at home you were always busy studying!” He looked at your shocked expression. “But looking back it was completely unfair of me to feel like that! I know that! Going to school was your dream just like volleyball was mine! I was selfish I know that now! After these months of therapy I’ve realized I was selfish our whole relationship.” He stopped catching his breath and calming down. He didn’t want to be the impulsive man he used to be. This maybe the last time he speaks to you he doesn’t want to ruin it by being heated.

You waited as he calmed himself. Observing the man in front of you. While he may look like him the man in front of you was not the Atsumu Miya you knew. You could see that clearly now. The man you knew would have brushed this off, or made round about excuses never taking responsibility. This was a new man. The Sumu you knew didn’t believe in therapy. And you have to admit you’re glad he’s getting help.

Atsumu opened his eyes looking up at you. “I know it may not seem like it YN but I love you I always have and I always will, I know I was shit at showing it but it’s true,” he sighed “but I also know that you deserve way better than me.” He took a deep breath knowing this next part would be the hardest to say. “ I know our lives overlap, in more ways than I thought apparently,” thinking back to the fact that his teammate was head over heels for you, “but i promise I won’t make your life hard, I’ll keep my distance, and if you want me completely out of your life I make sure to stay away, I won’t ever bother you if that’s what you want, although I will miss you, I want you to be happy.” He gave a soft and hopeful smile knowing this was the least that he could do.

This was not what you expected at all when choosing to meet with him. Although it was a relief in a way to have some sort of closure. He has definitely changed that much you can see. But your feelings were still so jumbled. One thing was made clear through this emotional meeting though. While part of you wanted to hate him, a big part of you still cared. But you were certain now that it wasn’t the same as before. You were sure that you had finally moved forward from your love of Atsumu Miya. Yes you still cared deeply for him but he no longer held your heart.

Looking down at your cup of coffee you finally allowed yourself a sip of the sweet liquid relishing in all the memories it brought with it. Atsumu sat patiently wait for your response not wanting to rush you. Even if his lunch break was well past ended he didn’t care volleyball could wait, he owed you that. After several moments of thoughtful silence you spoke.

“I need time,” you stated. “I don’t hate you, but I’m just not ready to forgive you yet, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for you to be in my life. Or if I ever will be, for right now I’d appreciate if you kept your distance as I continue to heal and reach my decision.”

The setter nodded accepting your choice. He stood slowly making sure to give a good long look to the woman he loved knowing this may be the last time you speak. “This is goodbye then,” he sighs giving you a small nod to which you return. He goes to leave with a heavy heart. He stops turning back to you. Your attention is fully on him still.

“He really cares about you ya know,” he gives a small smile and wave before turning around and finally walking away.

You hadn’t expected those words from him. A small giggled left your lips. You had no clue which man he meant.

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Hi I tried to tag everyone if I missed anyone please send me an ask.some accounts couldn’t be tagged.

[space-kitten-606]

Hi Kitty! First of all, how are you? I hope you've been doing well :D

I saw your requests were open and I decided to take the chance hehe

Currently I've been feeling a tiiiiiny bit depressed and sort of really tired? And I just want to spend the whole day sleeping >_<

Can I request Saeyoung comforting an MC that's just a bit down and uninspired? You can add as much fluff as you want, go crazy with it, honestly just write something that makes you happy too!

Remember to drink lots of water and to take breaks! Your health comes first!

Sending you tons of hugs and I hope you have a wonderful day :3

Thank you so much for the cute request (and giving me so much free reign too lol). It’s actually something I’ve been also going through in the last couple weeks, so I really felt that lmao since this ask fit right in there, I’ll combine these ^-^ 

I hope that it’s okay and you guys like what I’ve come up with ~

Saeyoung comforting a depressed, uninspired Mc

Normally, Saeyoung really doesn’t mind you spending a day or two just in bed

he assumed it was just one of those days and left you be

but when two days turned to three and eventually three to four, he started to get a little bit worried

so he decided to prepare some food for you and make sure you’re alright for real and that it is not just something you tell him to calm his nerves

with a tablet in hand, he strut towards your shared bed and placed it on your nightstand

you could hear him entering, but it wasn’t enough for you to pull the blanket from over your head. 

nor were you in the mood to do so anyway

“Somebody home??”, Saeyoung asked a bit too cheery for you liking

you answered with an annoyed hum from within your obvious hiding spot

“I made us something to eat.”

“No, thank you. I ate some yoghurt last night.” 

You heard an exasperated huff from next to the bed

“And it is almost afternoon again. You should at least eat a little bit. For me?”

His pleading voice at least got you to peak out from under the blanket. 

On the tablet there were two bowls of some noodle dish, something light, and two glasses of water

“Mmhh noodles….”, you mumbled. 

Your stomach clearly agreed, grumbling as you eyed this dish. 

Smiling, Saeyoung helped you up to rest against the bed’s headboard and handed you the bowl before taking his own. 

“Enjoy your meal!”

The relief was obvious as he spoke. 

You felt bad enough as it was hiding out all this time

it wasn’t like you wanted to spend your days curled up in bed

but every single task you could think of seemed way too stressful to complete

and if it wasn’t the low energy that was stopping you from doing the things you loved

it was the guilt of not having done them in a timely manner

and what was the point of starting them now

As if he was able to read your mind, Saeyoung reached for your hand, squeezing it lightly. 

“Have you been taking your meds?” 

You took a deep breath at the question. 

You weren’t offended, really, but it just solidified your thought that currently, it seemed like your meds weren’t doing their job

then again, seeing how you were treating yourself currently, they probably weren’t to blame

“Yup. I don’t want to know how I’d feel if I did not take them.” 

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“I….don’t know what there is to talk about, Sae. I just. Can’t right now, you know? I didn’t even get any of my work done, but I can’t think of anything. I feel like my brain is a damn desert. There’s nothing I could use to do anything meaningful. It’s terrible and I hate it.”

Your rant went on like this for a couple minutes. 

about how nothing seemed to work out for you and how you couldn’t even use your usually so helpful creative outlets to cope, because that just seemed too hard to do.

it was like your brain was blocking you from doing anything that meant something to you

you could barely even hold a conversation with you friends, making you feel incredibly isolated. 

Sighing, Saeyoung climbed into bed with you, pulling you into his chest.

“I’m really sorry you feel like this, but this will pass. I promise.”

you let out an unconvinced hum, making your boyfriend laugh to himself

the movement of his chest felt a bit funny under your head, making you smile to yourself.

you felt your senses waking up a little.

feeling his warmth around you and inhaling his scent gave you the fuzzies still

even in that dark mindset, being close to him managed to make you feel something

if was fascinating 

Was that what he meant when he told you that he feels like sitting under the sun when talking to you?

You sighed, and relaxed into his embrace

Saeyoung rambled away, showering you in positive affirmations

about how much he loved you and that he believed in you

that he knew you would make it out of this low, coming back energized and strong and able to do anything you want to. 

you couldn’t help but think how this wave of positivity sounded so incredibly naive

and yet it was so similar to the things you’d remind him of whenever he was in an equal situation to yours

as you lay there Saeyoung watched you intently

his hands caressing you with featherlight touches

he didn’t address it, but it made him so happy to see you calm in his embrace like this

he could feel the tension leaving your body

and how your mind seemed to shift a little bit

your facial expression growing softer as you nuzzled into him, taking deep breaths

he tightened his embrace gradually, only stopping his monologue to plant kisses on your temple, and continuing to pepper your face with them

you were so beautiful to him, even in times like this. 

“About your creativity low….”, he whispered, “why don’t you start slow? Just create for the sake of creating. Judgement free zone. That’s what I do when I don’t know how to continue my work on my newest robot! I just make a screaming mouse bot and sneak it into Yoosungs bag! Before you know it, I know just what my latest project was missing!”

You laughed at his silly example at first, until it sunk in what he just told you.

“So it WAS you?!”

Saeyoung cringed. “Don’t tell Yoosungie. He had to go through to weeks of detention because of that, and he’s still upset about it.”

You let out an elongated sigh. 

“With you as a friend, Yoosung really has his work cut out for him. You should do something to apologize.” 

“I’ll think of something. BUT in turn I want you to do something randomly creative. Just working away without a set goal. Deal?”

If he thought he was being clever, he was sadly mistaken.

It was easy to see through what he was trying to do, but it was endearing either way. 

Charmed by his attempt, you gave in, pushing the skeptic voice inside your head away.

“Alright. I’ll try. And you apologize.”

“It’s a deal then!” 

Excited to have you on board and on the best way to get you out of your slump, Saeyoung pumped his fist. 

Incapable of holding back, you let out a laugh at his childish demeanor. 

He really was quite something, wasn’t he?

Saeyoung could feel his heart swell at hearing your beautiful laugh again. 

He couldn’t be happier to help you through your struggles, just as you did for him

[samuraikunexe67]

A/N: I have no idea why, I’m actually in the mood to make break-up headcanons. Slightly yandere-ish behavior for some of them ehe.

Ann

What do you mean “break up?”

She of course respects your choices.

Great friends though!

She misses you..

But still! Respects your wishes!

Becomes actually irritated if you moved on super fast.

May or may not have cuddled a picture of you and cried herself to sleep for a whole month.

Every time you are apart of the group-chat or with the Phantom Thieves, she’d instantly check up on you and go on with her day.

Makoto

She respects your choices but asks for an entire summary why.

You better what out! You better not cry! Sae Niijima is coming to kill you!

Expect her to frustratedly cry over you while hugging a pillow.

Ignored you the entire year.

Probably enemies with her and her sister.

Heart-broken tsundere coming through.

Uhm.. Awkward~

Literally turns into the: Deleted, Blocked, Reported meme.

If she sees you in that group-chat or with The Phantom Thieves, expect a punch to the stomach.

Futaba

“Oh nice joke!”

She realized you weren’t joking.

She broke down into tears.

Like Makoto, she expects an entire essay on why you’re breaking up with her.

She’s probably planning on how to blackmail you rn.

She might’ve turned into a yandere.

But don’t worry! Joker and the boys got your back!

Unless they get blackmailed by her and tell them to step off.

Stalks your every doing on social media.

Every time she sees you in the group-chat or with the Phantom Thieves; hoo boy..

Joker and Ryuji are literally using a crowbar to get her off of you..

Haru

Mom pick me up I’m scared..

Peace was NEVER an option with Haru.

She’s respectful about it and doesn’t need an explanation.

But dear god does she know how to hit your weak spot.

“Hey Haru, mind passing me the salt?”

“I sure hope you don’t choke on that steak aha!~”

May the lord forgive you.. Because she won’t..

She may or may not have also become a yandere.

Unlike Futaba, she just barges into your house and kidnaps you.

Expect people including Joker and the others to find you tied up.

Stay away from the Phantom Thieves if Haru’s there.

Unless you want an axe to the face and Milady brainwashing you 24/7..

Kasumi

She’s actually pretty chill unlike Futaba and Haru and Makoto.

“As long as you’re still my senpai/onee-san!”

You two get along just fine!

A lot of hugging and headpats.

Nice convos in the group chat and when hanging out with the Phantom Thieves.

*wiggles eyebrows* Might even consider going back together?

Nah jk jk.

Soon both of you became even closer.

Internally she does miss you but understands and the both of you has moved on from it.

Akira/Ren

He literally has a breakdown

Begging you to come back to him while crying and snot going every-where

You and him are so awkward towards another when you hang out with the Phantom Thieves.

Even in group-chat Akiren cries and cries about you to the others.

You feel bad but you wanna move on.

He misses you like hell.

Becomes very depressed and doesn’t move from his room.

This boy’s playlist is full of sad love songs on the daily while viewing pictures of you and him together.

Slowly becomes a yandere but a soft one.

He’s clingy like dear god.

Ever-lasting hugs.

He even gets jealous whenever Ryuji or anyone else gets near to you.

Wants you all to himself.

Ryuji

He’s pretty chill, heartbroken but chill.

Actually becomes like an older brother to you

Brings you snacks and food whenever

Checks up on you in group-chat

Gets teased by Futaba and Joker and Morgana that you’re not his anymore

He only rolls his eyes and gives you headpats

Y’all be doing karaoke on the daily

You and him be making fun of Morgana together

Older brother and younger sibling relationship!

He misses you but glad to see you happy as always

Yusuke

“Oh that’s cool.”

Takes the break-up pretty well

You and him still have goofy art moments

Strangely you two have always had the married couple dynamic and now..

You both cringe when someone says that.

He’s still as poor as ever

He hungy

You share your food with him

“Hee-ho!”

“Time to hee-ho home buddy.”

“Indeed, my dear friend.”

Everybody in the group-chat sometimes mistaken that you and Yusuke got back together but you correct them for the 50th time

Akechi

...Yikes.

Break-up was as messy as Joker’s bedroom.

He screamed for about a whole day about it.

He stopped talking to the Phantom Thieves and you once you guys broke it off.

He soon became a fricking yandere.

Not surprised that he became one.

He delulu asf.

Pretends that you’re the king/queen of his Palace.

He actually gets a Palace because of you and his tragic past.

Joker and the others are actually terrified of the outcomes once Akechi’s heart is changed.

If it works, he’ll pretend none of it happened.

If it doesn’t, well he’s still gonna pretend as usual.

Either way he’s still gonna fanboy about you and treat you like prince/princess.

Either texts you in private or outside of LeBlanc.

Phantom Thieves: “And we took that personally.”

Everyone immediately becomes the older siblings in the situation.

Jesus get Akechi some therapy..

[kdramachitchat]

Yumi's Cells Episode 3 Recap - First impressions always count. Yumi and Woong heads out to a homecooked meal restaurant & a frog festival on their first date.

Episode 3 of Yumi’s Cells begins with Yu-mi forcing herself to laugh through Gu-Woong’s awful jokes. Thankfully their coffee is ready and Emotion Cell as livid, with Gu-Woong keeping the conversation flowing by discussing what he’s working on back home. Gu-Woong is a game maker and showed the game about puppies and looks like Yumi is interested.

In Cell Land Hunger strikes. And just in time too given Emotion and the other cells are so tired. Hilariously, Hunger plays the belly pipe which is what causes her stomach to grumble.

Gu-Woong hears this but pretends he doesn’t, tells her it's already dinner time and invites  Yu-Mi to join him at a restaurant of his choice. In fact, she absolutely loves the food there too, downing the dishes. He even let her take the first bite too, he's polite and it seems that Yu-Mi is totally impressed with the food enjoying everything.

This is enough to win over a lot of the cells – except Emotion and Anxious Cell. She keeps her guard up despite Gu-Woong hitting all the right notes. On the otherhand, Anxious Cell is worried about Yu-Mi's blouse getting ruined with the boiling dish that may splatter on her. Before she even took the first bite, Woong is fast enough and gave her a apron. He's a total gentleman. The Cells are impressed that he's considerate, Emotions still dont like him and Anxious does. He has good manners. They both enjoy home-cooked restaurants too which both of them appreciate. Even Fashion Cell likes what he wore its elaborately calculated as a perfect effortless look. Hahaha. Fashion Cell instantly likes him so does the rest of the Cells cept for Emotion.

Well i think first impressions are always the most important. With my second impression of Woong, i love how he ignored the grumble of her stomach to try not to embarrass her he politely solved the situation which is considered a plus point for me. 

After the meal, Woong caught Yu-Mi who's about to pay for their meal but Woong stopped her and tells her that she'll pay, while accidentally holding her hand. The Cells started floating on air like they're on cloud 9.

Woong suggests they go to the park and check out the frogs. The date went so well and she's totally not into the frog festival. Though the Cells are having fun and wants to go but not Emotion. Woong pays for the entrance tickets and the ticket lady mentions that they get a discount if they're a couple. Woong says no and Yu-Mi says they are. Woong ended up surprised. The ticketlady gave them headbands to upload on social media and they'll get even more discounts if they take the headband.

While there, one of the workers asks if they’re a couple. While a bit awkward to begin with, Finance kicks in for Yu-Mi and focuses on how much money she can save if she says yes. Well, one thing leads to another and the pair snap a couple photo together, which Yu-Mi decides to put up on social media.

This act attracts the attention of Ru-Bi, who immediately rings Gu-Woong and asks what’s going on. Woong ends their conversation quickly and keeps his focus on Yu-Mi. Nosy Ruby needs to get her thoughts away from Yu-Mi like she's obsessed with who she dates. Woong tells her that Ru-Bi is weird because she talks to him in 3rd-person and Yu-Mi laughed at his comment. She laughed for real this time, finally. Emotion is pissed and wants to go home, Anxious is worried about Ru-Bi. Woong tells her that he can't really lie and says it like he means it. I like him. The Cells does too, he's honest, polite, considerate. All good factors. Emotion Cell is now impressed and decides not to use the robot doll cell.

With the date going so well and Yu-Mi impressed by Woong's compliments she decided to treat him and buy popcorn. Woong tells her that she doesn't have to be grateful when he told her she's cute its because he's honest. The Cells like him too as long as he doesn't do those awkward jokes and they all approve. Hysterius Cell shows up in Cell land and presses the mood lever down, sending Yu-Mi into a depressive downward spiral. Because of this, she suddenly skips out and decides to go home. This is just terrible. The date was doing so and its all Hysteriuis Cell's fault. For once i'm actually mad at a Cell, i don't think i'm going to like him very much.

Things all got very awkward when they both head home. Woong tried to make her laugh with his dad jokes but Yu-Mi wasn't feeling well and head up to the bus. She wants to save herself from heartache like her past relationships. After the date, Woong sees Saeyi heading home and tells her that he likes Yu-Mi. Once he got back, this terrible parting effected Woong too and he's worried that she's not replying to his messages. Meanwhile, in Woong's Cell land a imaginary Yu-Mi has taken over. Like she's all he's thinking about. Woong waits for her texts and looks like he was about to tear up. He immediately heads online to search reasons for her not replying during their first date. With Hysteria still attacking Cell land, Emotion, Fashion and Anxious Cells reach out to Reason Cell. Reason Cells tell them that Hysteria Cell is afraid that Yu-Mi may struggle and will hurt again. They all find a solution and it's Hunger Cell they can rely on. Yu-Mi looses her appetite, lays down and didn't bother replying to Woong. They don't want to think that Woong was rejected by her.

Jumps to conclusions finding reasons as to why she's not replying. Goes on forums to find comments, he thinks about what he has done during their blind date. He believes it’s his beard.  Even asked advice from Louis and he tells Woong that her not replying means he's dumped. On her way to work, she misses her bus and sits down on the bench seeing the candy that Woong gives her on her back. The lights went back on Cells land after she ate the candy. Yu-Mi eventually messages to let him know she’s okay and had fun. Sigh of relief. So it's definitely a misunderstanding on his part because Yu-Mi fell asleep. Woong decided to shave his beard that morning! Sae-Yi is surprised that Woong shaved his beard with the reason being it's a sign of a man's pride but he didn't give a exact reason for him to do so. It just shows that Woong likes her alot.

Yu-Mi messages Woong and tells him to get to work safetly and Woong is happy. Woong messages back and lets her know that he’s shaved his beard. Hilariously, Yu-Mi ended up confused but really didn't care if he did, thinking it's probably one of his jokes.  Even the Cells are confused thinking it's probably slang or something bad. Fashion Cells takes it literally and is impressed once again.

While on the way to work after the bus, Ru-Bi annoys her once again asks about her date. She needs to stop with her nosy attitude. Yu-Mi is stressed and wants to ignore Ru-Bi, so she skipped the elevator and went up the stairs. The office found out about her blind date and her office mates are being nosy. She's stressed about the situation and so are the cells who are wanting for Ru-Bi to shut her mouth. It's a headache and the cells village is about to blow up. The whole day Yu-Mi hasn't eaten and Hunger Cell isn't doing well.

Woong texting Yumi asking her if she has any plans. After Yu-Mi telling him that she doesn't have plans after work. Woong replies back and asks her out on a dinner date. Before she can even reply, a staff who's in a hurry bumped into Yu-Mi, which led Yu-Mi’s phone to break. Urgh. Can the day get any worst? 2nd date please and poor Woong. Yu-Mi is contemplating on pursuing with him and is letting out her feelings to a co-worker. She's afraid to feel hurt, tells her co-worker that her phone broke because it's a sign of the universe for her to not see him anymore.

Woong seeks council from Sae-Yi and Louis, who checks out the text messages and believes that Yu-Mi wanted to end the conversation because of her sentence structures but he didn’t get the hint, making him look clingy and uncomfortable. As the trio about to head out, Woong stays in and tells Sae-Yi that he doesn't condemn to people telling him what to do and that he's slow-witted. That's just the way he is. He knows himself well.

At work, Yu-Mi feels ill she excuses herself to her boss and decides to go home. It's raining outside and she didn't bring an umbrella.  Ru-Bi follows her out of the building and suggests she ring Woong using her number and let him know. After all her pent up frustration, she let it out on Ru-Bi and tells her it's enough. Ru-Bi says that she's just trying to help because she supports them both. Hysteria Cell on the other hand is enjoying this and wants her to release all her negative emotions.

Yu-Mi admitted that she’s always been alone – and will continue to be alone because that's what makes her comfortable. Can someone give Yu-Mi a hug? As they talk, Woong suddenly shows up with an umbrella. Yu-Mi turns and looks at him with amazement. Her knight and shining armor.

[misplacedmalice]

Once again, more spoilers for P5R, because I can't sleep and this is what I do.

I'm also going to throw in trigger warnings for trauma, suicide, and several types of abuse. I don't want to cause anyone any pain just because they can't sleep either and stumbled onto my post.

I should preface this by saying I was starting in child development and psychology before I left college due to my own health, so I've done a lot of research into the topics I'm going to be addressing.

Okay. So I want to talk about the mental health implications of Goro Akechi and his use of Loki's special ability on himself to make himself go berserk. The reason I want to talk about this, is because its something that people with the right (horrible) combination of mental health issues and trauma can more or less do, and I feel it will help explain some of the endgame content a bit more comprehensively.

To start off, I want to address that Goro would not have been in a healthy place when his persona was unleashed in the first place. That's canonical. His mother committed suicide, was living life as a prostitute before that, and he was afterwards passed from foster home to foster home before living on his own. That in itself is a whole lot of damage just as a base, but you have to think a bit deeper into it, as well.

Its a known fact, at least in the western world, that growing up with parents that act as sex workers often leads to the child being physically and sexually abused. I think its very likely that Goro went through this with at least one of his mother's customers before she passed. I will double down on the point that its very common, again at least in the western world, for foster children to land in the homes of abusers as well. In that case, its not limited to the care takers, but could even extend to the other minors living in the homes that were older than him. In my studies, I've read many cases of younger male children being taken advantage of by older female children, only to have it brushed aside. A common example of something like that happening is actually with teachers, if you need a basis for where my thoughts were going. Based on this alone, Goro would have been suffering from severe abuse for about ten years before his persona manifested. Keep this point in mind.

My next point actually deals with Goro's persona and when it manifested. There's no real clarification there of what transpired during that event. So, I want to take into consideration the fact that this probably happened without Goro's knowledge, like how Akiren and Ryuji slipped into Kamoshida's palace the first time unawares. Here's the thing; Akiren had Ryuji with him, so even if Ryuji couldn't fight, there was a distinct difference already. It is heavily, heavily implied that Goro was ALONE when this happened. Imagine being fifteen and stumbling onto a literal metaphysical world filled with supernatural entities trying to kill you. That's what would have been happening, realistically. How do you think Goro would have survived that? Manifesting his persona.

But here's the thing: how badly beaten and near death was Goro when his persona manifested? How desperate to survive was he? He would have been weak, and he would have needed a fuck ton of strength boost to get through a situation like that. How would he have gotten it, do you think? That's right; the same way he got it on the cruiser.

Loki's Call to Chaos.

I firmly believe that Loki is actually Goro's "true" persona, like how Arséne is Akrien's at the beginning. I think Robin Hood actually came much later, out of a sad, hurt child's wish that he could have been like Robin. But I don't think he created RH, like how Akiren can create personas; I think he manifested RH much like Akiren did Satanael. But I believe it was at a later date, and was a reflection of his mind, what's still good in his mind, made manifest.

The next thing I want to talk about is Shido and his manipulative behavior towards Goro. Everyone knows all this, though, so ill keep it brief. The effect that this would have had for Goro would have made his previously developed mental health issues so much worse, which lead him to have a crucial thought pattern that's dangerously common with people with his mental illness. At one point, many trauma victims come to think of both other people, and themselves, as acceptable losses.

This actually happens when there's a disconnect in your mind within your ethical reasoning. And here's where I get to the point I wanted to make; Loki's special ability is basically the manifestation of sending someone into a dissociative mania. Basically a manic state in which your mind disconnects from its higher thought patterns, and dissociates completely with how your memories are stored.

The reason I'm talking about this is because trauma, depression, and dissociative episodes can and do cause severe memory issues. I want to bring to a point Joker and Crow's showtime for this, actually. You see at the end of it, Goro walking towards the camera looking exhausted and holding his head. Many times, when people have manic episodes, it leaves them physically drained, and can cause migraines. Most commonly these things are associated with anxiety attacks, though truthfully it has most to do with your adrenal responses.

So now we come to the effects that all these have on the endgame content. I'm not arguing the "is Goro real" aspect of the endgame content, because he is. I've gone through everything I did in this post to try to help make it clear for others what would have realistically happened after the scene on the ship.

A big real world consequence of all the mental health issues I've gone through here are going to be as such: first, Goro is not going to have any committed, accessible long term memories due to the mental strain that a manic episode like his berserk state can cause. Next, he's going to take a hell of a long time to heal after being literally blasted from the metaverse, which is what it seems happened. I believe this is actually paralleled by Ryuji for that reason, actually. Last: he's not going to be himself for a while afterwards. When you suffer such a huge episode, like his berserk episode is heavily implied to be, you're just not yourself after. It's like your whole mind has to reboot. I believe this is why he turns himself in to Sae, because its the only thing that makes sense for him to do.

The second to last thing I want to address is the way Goro seems to 180 after all those events, and how different his personality is. Feral!Goro is his real personality. This archetype--cynical, methodical, sarcastic, and cruel--is actually fairly common in people with his kind of history. He's actually showing his true self, probably for the first time ever. That's a huge step in the right direction for him, and something he's only able to do because of Akiren's support.

The very last thing I'm going to address is actually the events of Maruki's palace, when he goes to shoot and kill Dr. Maruki. This comes back simply to the idea of acceptable loss. This is not something that Goro takes lightly. This is his weighing the outcomes, looking through every door at the same time, like trauma victims tend to. He's choosing the path that guarantees the desired outcome. Its a downright terrifying trait that Goro has, but that's what was happening. Just like (unfortunately) Wakaba, Okumura, and countless others, Goro counted Maruki as an acceptable loss.

And I want to point out that he stops when the Phantom theives point out that he's wrong. I'm pointing it out because that tiny gesture shows just HOW MUCH Akiren helped him start to heal, starting with the events on the ship.

If anyone actually finished reading this rambling post, man, good on you. You have my thanks.

[it-will-not-last-the-night]

PQ2 - End

As I did expect; making sure I was able to comfortably beat the Velvet Rangers first did mean Enlil, though visually impressive, wasn’t a difficult fight. I simply equipped Ryuji with the Omnipotent Orb and had him All Guard every turn and this left Enlil unable to do anything whilst the Joker, Mitsuru, Chie and Ann wailed on them.

The ending was honestly good though, very emotional, heart-tugging, I honestly haven’t had this much fun finishing a game since J.J. Macfield and the Island of the Missing. 

PQ2 is honestly a gem I feel. Beyond fun mechanics that I found easy to get back into even after long gaps, it balances the character development of an enormous cast very successfully, with only some issues.

Even though I knew nothing of P3 or P4 the game conveys their characters in a way I found enjoyable and easy to sink into, and that is really no small feat considering that the cast is, honestly, just insanely large by the end. 

I enjoyed Enlil as an antagonist for the most part, though they could definitely have used a little more substance in the plot, but this game, overall, was less focused on it’s villain and more on it’s protagonist, and that’s fine.

To that end Hikari: the game is honestly the story of her character development and I loved her. It’s a pity we don’t see much of her in the fandom, because I honestly adore Hikari and find her enchanting and relatable in a number of ways.

Her farewell to the friends she made at the finale of the game was genuinely touching.

In general the farewells at the end are emotional, and I enjoyed them all, event he little nod to Akechi’s own mixed feelings, clearly dealing with something, as he is the most hesitant of the Phantom Thieves to finally exit the theatre after they have learned they will forget everything once they are outside. A nice touch!

Of course, because it is me, I do wish to gush briefly about Ryuji: OH MY GOSH I love his dynamic with Hikari? But, also, I just love him in this game? He comes across in PQ2 as if he has matured from his incarnation in the vanilla game. Not only is he the character, along with Futaba, who spends the most time supporting and speaking with Hikari, but even in the ending when most of the Thieves all express varying degrees of excitement or forced enthusiasm about returning home, Ryuji is the one who most noticeably feels sad about the whole affair, expressing how he suddenly misses everything they’d gone through.

On the note of Ryuji and Hikari’s bond: I had thought it mostly just an accidental outgrowth of Ryuji’s common role as an externalization of Joker’s words, but when I watch the ending perhaps it is more intentional than I thought. Noticeably Futaba and Ryuji deliver the closing lines to Hikari, Ryuji is the one who, as she tears up, tells her to remember to keep her promise to invite them to see her movies and in the post-credits scene Ryuji is the character who feels they NEED to see her movie when they find a flyer for it, going so far as to clutch at his head because he, without knowing why, just knows he HAS to go do this. Furthermore, the cutscene as Hikari says her final goodbye and leaves, is framed around a small group of characters: Ryuji, Futaba, P3FemPC, Yukari, Mitsuru and Morgana. Among those Ryuji, Futaba and P3FemPC are the characters with the largest interaction with Hikari throughout the game, and I honestly have adored those four together.

I honestly have no idea why I am typing this, the game is dated and I believe interest in it limited, but I’d recommend any fan of Persona who hasn’t given it a try to do so, if only because the story and characters are honestly well executed, better in many ways than Vanilla.

To be frank; whilst Vanilla has moments that legitimately make me depressed, the scene in Shinjuku and the scene after Shido’s Ship, even at it’s worst PQ2 never has it’s characters be that mean to each other. Even when they jibe or insult they never cross a line to abusing or accosting, and they never all single out one character to relentlessly, constantly, deride.

A breath of fresh air really!

Anyway; I loved the game, I had fun, now I guess I wait for Scramble to become available, and I hope we get to see more of the P5 cast still in future (ALSO ATLUS JUST LET ME HOOK THE PT’S UP WITH EACH OTHER OR DATE THE BOYS PLEASE I WANT TO GIVE THEM LOVE TOO THEY DESERVE IT).

For fun below the divide I’m just gonna mention the relationships, romantic or platonic I’m not going to bother much with a distinction, I really have come to like following this game even though, I am sure, they are all crack.

Enjoy:

Chie/Yukiko: Whether best friends or girlfriends no pair of characters in the P4 cast seemed to, from the outset, come across as obviously as if they are close. The two seem to complement each other well, know each other well and play off each other well and are always delightful and entertaining to watch.

Mitsuru/Junpei: I talked about this one before; I just honestly loved their Ticket and found it endearing how both, in their interactions with each other, were almost Tsundere-ish in admitting to private desires to get along, and take care of each other dearly, but struggling to break through the shell of the other to confess this. 

Ryuji/Hikari: Talked about this one at massive length already; suffice to say I honestly loved their interactions so much and, along with Ryuji’s interactions with Sophia I have seen now in Scramble, Ryuji radiates enormous, powerful, Big Brother/Father energy. Which I think is great? What better arc for Ryuji than, a person who’s life is overshadowed by his awful father, to turn out to be a wonderful father himself.

Yusuke/Yukiko: These two just get each other. Honestly they just click. They tune in to the same cosmic wavelength and leave everyone confused as they naturally just synch up. It is a pity as the game enters its later stages we see less of them, in the early game they are a treat.

Ken/Akechi: Ken and Akechi just are perfect, wonderful, foils to each other and it’s almost a pity the game can’t actually go the full way with it because Akechi’s secret can’t come out. This leaves it as a tease, the suggestion, of what could be, but that’s still plenty good. I also find it always interesting to see Ryuji and Akechi, two boys heavily formed by an abusive father, both in their own explicit words state outright they relate themselves to Ken in some way. With Akechi, because he is so good at wearing masks, I wonder how true it is when he relates himself to Ken, it’d be interesting to know if this is one of his lies to maintain his façade, or a bit of his true self creeping out as it often does. 

Joker/Junpei: I don’t know why I like these two? But Joker comes across as really fond and supportive of him with his consistent chances to shout out “Junpei! Master Detective!”

Yukari/Junpei: As I said in my head I go back-and-forth whether this would be endearing or a toxic hate-love relationship. There’s no denying, though, that these two interact more with each other than anyone else in the P3 cast, they’re the Yukiko/Chie in that sense, if Yukiko/Chie consisted of a lot of barbs and harsh words. We actually get a glimpse of what, I feel, is a healthier dynamic for the two in P3FemPC’s world in the epilogue, where Yukari is still barbed but rather than deflating Junpei ripostes back, this automatically makes it seem less mean-spirited heckling and more two people, comfortable with each other, bantering.

Futaba/Hikari: This one is the obvious choice since the game is obviously going out of it’s way to make this an important relationship. Futaba sees herself in Hikari and appoints herself like an older sister to help her. It is adorable and amazing character development as the socially reclusive and shy Futaba clearly forces herself out of her comfort zone to prove to Hikari that she can change and that she is not a lost cause. Along with Hikari it is, perhaps, Futaba who is the true MVP of this entire game. 

Futaba/P3FemPC: Futaba gets some lovely Sister-like sequences with the incredibly fun and social P3FemPC, who Futaba is clearly in awe of. It is a pity that these really only happen in the early game, I’d love for them to continue, but P3FemPC as the big, fun, sister figure of Futaba is fun.

Ryuji/Yukiko: This one is just because the ending of Haru and Yukiko’s ticket has one of the funniest bit ever when Haru and Yukiko decide they want to ‘play’ with Ryuji and Yosuke. Yukiko’s ‘Will you devote all of your being to the name of the Amagi Family?’ is wonderful and I can just imagine Ryuji’s reaction to such a frank proposition. 

Mitsuru/P3FemPC: This one was actually surprising to me but Mitsuru really has something of an almost maternal instinct for P3FemPC. She seeks to console her and let her know she is valued, even if Mitsuru is poor at expressions of affection, as seen in Junpei’s case as well. In many ways it strikes me as a more sympathetic Sae/Makoto. Mitsuru clearly cares for the P3FemPC and is aware of her disconsolate feelings, but struggles to find the words to comfort her, but doesn’t let that stop her trying. 

[everlarkficexchange]

Love the Sunrise

Author: @hutchhitched

Prompt 7: Peeta opens his bakery back up after the war. There are, as expected, lots of female customers who would like to get a little too close to Peeta for Katniss’s comfort. Sensing her jealousy, Peeta sets out to prove she has nothing to worry about (can be rated M, if you please!). [submitted by @albinokittens300]

Rating: M

Summary: Katniss doesn’t like being jealous, but Peeta has a way of reassuring her about his devotion. (canon compliant, post-Mockingjay)

  Two years after the war

The sun has already risen when I leave the house. I’m later than normal, but I’ve been fighting a stomach bug for the past few days that’s slowed me down. I want to get back to the forest and am discouraged I’ll have to wait another day before losing myself in the quiet there. Instead, I’m headed to the bakery, a place I tend to avoid as much as possible because of the sheer number of people I’ll see there. It doesn’t help that most of them are women who fawn over Peeta.

Our relationship is complicated. It has been since the day he threw me that loaf of bread in the rain when we were ten. Before we were reaped, before the Games, and definitely before the war. They’re all over now, all swept away in the aftermath of the revolution and the influence of the Mockingjay, an identity I still resist.

Peeta is mine, and I am his.

Do I love him? Yes, but it’s taken years to admit it to myself. Months and weeks and countless moments passed before I let myself put words to what he means to me. He knew long before I did, but he waited, patient as always, for me to meet him where he was.

Peeta’s always been steady; otherwise, he’d never have survived the hijacking and made his way back to me. He finds solace in his work, kneading bread and frosting cookies and cakes as he did before his world was upended. He doesn’t talk much about his family, but I know he misses them. He honors them in his products and by rebuilding the bakery as an exact replica before it was firebombed. Firebombed because I blew up the arena in the Quarter Quell.

I hate going to the bakery, but it’s not because Peeta’s there. It’s because I hate being confronted with how much people admire him when they’re suspicious of me. Panem loves Peeta, but only District 12 understands who I am and why the boy with the bread came home to help the Mockingjay heal her wings.

As expected, the bakery is busy. Women crowd the counter, and Peeta addresses each of them in turn, smiling and nodding as he takes orders and accepts payment. The women titter around him, and my hackles rise. My predator instincts are on alert, and I glare when his eyes meet mine. He nods for me to cross behind the counter and head to the office in the back where I know he’ll join me when the rush dies. I fume while I wait for that to happen.

“Katniss?” he calls when the store quiets. He stands in the doorway and watches me. “No hunting today?”

“Not unless I can take out some of those old birds.”

He grins at me, and I steel myself. I love his smile and the way his eyes crinkle up at the corners when he does. That blue still strikes me as the most calming color I’ve ever seen other than the evergreen of the woods beyond the fence. His shoulders have broadened since we returned home, and his limp is barely noticeable now that he’s had some corrective surgery here in District 12. He’s become a man in the past few years.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous,” he teases and crosses the room to kneel beside me. “You know I’m only doing my job, selling bread, cookies, and cakes, to the poor women of the town.”

“Poor women!” I yelp, but he leans in to kiss me before I can protest more.

His mouth slides over mine gently, and his hands cradle my face tenderly. His lips seduce me, and his scent—still cinnamon and dill—soothes my ruffled feathers.

“I’ve only ever had an eye for one type of beauty. It’s my weakness. You’re my weakness.”

He’s right, I know. It’s why Snow took him, why I almost lost him, and why I should trust him now.

“I don’t trust them.”

“But you trust me.” I nod and tug him closer. “But it wouldn’t be bad if I proved my devotion to you more often.”

He coaxes a smile from me and then another kiss and then another until we’re both panting. The sensation warms me, but I can’t quite smash that kernel of doubt that plagues me. The one that reminds me I’m nothing special—only a fatherless girl from District 12 who isn’t particularly pretty.

“Words are your thing,” I remind him plaintively.

“And actions are yours,” he returns. “We’ll have to develop some habits.”

“Habits?”

“Rituals. Traditions. Whatever you want to call it,” he answers. “Whatever will help you understand how much you mean to me.”

“Do you think that will help?”

He kisses me again and tugs the zipper down on my shirt so he can take my nipple in his mouth. He sucks and licks until I have to bite my lip to stay quiet. My fingers curl in his blonde hair, and I press against him. Just when I’m about to beg him to close early and take me home, he pulls back and winks.

“I think it’ll help.”

I choose to believe him, and I’m floating as I return home. That night we start creating our rituals—building on the work we’ve already done in the plant book and our book of memories. And Peeta’s right. It changes everything.

Five years after the war

Buttercup stretches in the afternoon light slicing through the window and striping the living room floor. Her purring rumbles through her, and I stop to rub her stomach with my foot. She curls around it and nuzzles her nose against my toes before nipping at them softly. It’s strange that she’s one of the best things in my life when we used to hate each other so much.

I swallow hard at the lump that builds in my throat. I’d trade this mangy feline in for my sister in a heartbeat if that were possible, but that’s never going to be feasible. I won’t have Buttercup forever, and she’s already survived longer than I imagined she would. I suddenly feel guilty for even thinking about bargaining with her presence.

I turn when I hear the door open, and my lips curve into a soft smile. Peeta crosses to me and pulls me into his arms, cradling me against him until our heartbeats match. It’s become our ritual when he returns home from work—finding each other again every day the way we’ve always searched for each other.

He loves me. Everything he’s ever done has shown that (hijacking excepted), and I’m still surprised every day when I realize it’s not an illusion. What he and I have together is real, and it’s lasted the tests of war, murder, torture, death, and the depths of depression.

“How was your day?” I ask against his neck. He smells like cinnamon and dill, the way he always has. It’s comforting at the same time it makes me want to rip his clothes off and taste every inch of his skin.

Peeta lifts my chin and brushes his lips against mine. “My day is always good when I come home to you.”

It’s what he says every evening, and it still makes my heart swell.

“Lamb stew’s on the stove, but it’ll keep,” I whisper as his hands caress my back.

“I’m not hungry for dinner.”

He undresses me slowly, savoring every second and guides me to the couch while carefully stepping over Buttercup. She opens one eye as we cross the room and then flees as Peeta’s shirt hits the floor. His bare chest ripples as he unbuttons his pants and pushes them past his hips. Reclining on the cushions, I lick my lips before he covers me, warming me with his body and making me feel alive.

Slowly but surely, we resurrect each other. I find solace in his arms, and he clings to my promise to accept him as he is. I hate that he still feels his mind is fractured, split into dozens of pieces that don’t always organize themselves in exactly the right way. He works constantly to resist regression into the dark place that’s still convinced I’m a mutt set on killing him when what I really want is to heal our brokenness together.

“Katniss,” he chants as his hips rock against mine. I tell him I love him as he strokes. My legs wrap around his waist, and he twists so I’m riding him. His eyes darken to navy as he watches me, his face pained from the only kind of torture we’ll ever experience again. I don’t have words, so I allow my actions to speak for me. I lavish him with all the passion inside me until I’m on fire, burning brighter than the sun, as we rock toward the finish.

I cry out when it happens, and he joins me. Our voices harmonize the same way our bodies seek and complement the other. One hunger is sated, but then our stomachs rumble.

“Welcome home,” I sigh and kiss the underside of his jaw. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you, too. Sae came in for some cookies. For her granddaughter, I think.”

“I ran into Thom in the meadow when I got back from hunting. He said he’d stop by tomorrow.”

He kisses my forehead and slips out from under me. He covers me with a quilt from the back of the couch and heads to the kitchen.

We pass the evening together, eating and talking, avoiding hard topics and constantly remembering our losses. He smooths out my hair and re-braids it as we chat. I curl his ashy blonde waves around my fingers and trace the raised veins in his hands and arms, admiring the strength there. Kneading dough remains his focus this many years after the war, while his artistic talent has remained latent while our district still struggles to rebuild. His fingers trace my curves, and I’m struck with an idea.

“Why don’t you sketch me tonight?”

He stills at my suggestion, but I can feel his energy. He’s excited by the idea, and I’m grateful I was both able to express it and am eager to make it happen.

We climb the stairs to our room, and he arranges me on the bed before grabbing his pad of paper and charcoals. The sheets are rumpled around me, but I’m comfortable and confident as his eyes devour my form. Several minutes later, he’s started and abandoned at least three attempts when he begins to narrate what he’s doing.

“I love drawing your legs,” he admits. “The way your thigh curves into the hollow behind your knee is gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” I whisper in return. His gift with words lulls me into erotic fantasies as he describes the arc of my neck and the swell of my breasts. I can almost feel him stroking me as his hands caress the paper and bring me to life.

He fills page after page until he tosses his work aside and simply observes me. He hardens as he does, and I’m desperate for him. He doesn’t respond, but he does run his hand across his chest and down to his groin. My eyes widen as he grips himself and tugs several times.

I watch his face, and it’s a work of art. His cheeks pinken, and his lips part with whimpered groans that shoot straight to my core. I want him so much, and it still surprises me that I can both have him and that there’s no threat of us being torn apart. So many lost days, and I don’t want any more of them.

I’m emboldened by him and grateful we’re safe and can explore what feels so new between us, even though it’s existed for years. It takes several more of my pleas before he’s ready to join me in bed.

He gives me what I need, and I return the favor. Buttercup joins us, curling up on Peeta’s feet as our breath calms. I’m content. We nap for a while, but he wakes me with his need. Sometimes he wants to please me; other times he’s desperate for release. No matter what, I’m happy to participate. We share, take, and give in equal parts until we’re finally sated and drift into a deep sleep as the sun rises outside our window.

[kvetas]

*✿❀; general headcanons part 1 (akechi)

 just some random, usually rather mundane headcanons that probably won’t fit as a theme anywhere else, yeah.

Generally refers to ‘[insert surname]-san’ to nearly everyone.

He’d make exceptions if he’s familiar enough with someone (He either generally refers to Sae as ‘Sae-san’ usually, though may attempt to jokingly call her ‘senpai’ at times) or if he’s fine with a request (So he’d refer to Sojiro as ‘Boss’ if asked, but he’d otherwise call him ‘Sakura-san’).

There’s a possibility that he’ll use different honorifics with either children or people he’s familiar with who are closer to his age. So he’d call some of the phantom thieves as ‘Takamaki-chan’ or ‘Sakamoto-kun’, for example. It’s only really just because sounds like it suits them more to him rather than any indicator of friendliness though.

And honestly, he’ll still persist at using surnames unless someone specifically requests him to be on a first name basis (or if they’re either western/literally do not have a last name) because he lacks the ability to gauge how relationships work. u_u ;;

bro will spill out his childhood drama unprompted to protag at confidant level three, especially with someone he literally just met standing right next to them, but he can’t bring himself to call someone by name?? smfh with this dude

I’m sad that the proof of justice OVA pretty much ruined my headcanon that Goro played video games as escapism growing up. But I still wanna say that if Goro did choose to play video games, he’d voluntarily play RPGs, puzzle games, and simulator games in his free time as a relaxation.

He may or may not create a Shido Sim just to torture the poor bastard as a way to vent on bad days if he got his hands on The Sims.

But he’d be willing to play any video game, even if half of the reason is just as a point of conversation.

Probably wouldn’t really scare easily on horror games. Because his life is already a goddamn horror to sit through as it is. Actually, since a lot of horror games are generally RPGs and/or puzzle games - they’re actually right up his alley.

He’d be the kind of guy who’d go “Oh, congratulations on the win. :)” but be inwardly seething in rage and already plotting 5 different possible ways to beat you after losing a game.

But this is only if it’s for a game he’s actually familiar with and got absolutely demolished on, he wouldn’t really care otherwise and would even welcome a challenge.

I feel like his hobbies were initially picked... well, to look cool, number one, but also for practical use via metaverse shenanigans. (Cycling because it’s the cheapest and fastest option to travel+gather intel but also to help his speed, bouldering for make scaling palaces easier and improve his guts, and darts to improve his proficiency.)

Though he can safely say that he genuinely enjoys these hobbies and is not actually lying through his teeth. But he doesn’t really indulge in them as much as he used to. 2/3 of the reason is because he already maxed out his guts and proficiency stats though tbh

I know that it’s common for people to believe Goro to have a preference in sweets but idk man I don’t really agree with that fanon.

Half is because he wants to be able to judge something he tastes without extra condiments and stuff possibly diluting the flavor. He has a food blog to run and reviews to write and dangit, he’s gonna write nothing but the facts!!

The other half is because he honestly isn’t picky with flavors and the guidebook even says so. Like, sure, he’d critique something to Death but he’d still eat it because you don’t waste food smfh

Even that one spicy-ass takoyaki he unintentionally ate? Like, Yeah, he clearly can’t handle spicy food too well, but he still properly ate it in my book.

Like the only exception is if it’s literally inedible. Like, ‘this is rotten!’ or ‘it  fell all over the floor’ kind of inedible.

That being said, I’d say Goro’s favorite coffee blend is Columbian 100% Typica but I can’t be super sure since I’m not a huge coffee fan and I wouldn’t know for sure how it would taste

I DO agree with the fanon idea that Goro doesn’t know how to cook a whole lot (the most being simple food like. fried egg, or steamed potato, or sandwiches) and just shovels instant-made food into his mouth if he so chooses, which is literally any time he’s not trying to show off or look sophisticated.

His apartment probably has fancy, modern looking furnishings and appliances. But it looks more like a home catalogue than a teenager’s living space. (Again, out of posturing to look more esteemed than he actually feels.) Though the apartment’s size is pretty average.

He almost never gets visitors though despite all the effort, except maybe Sae for whatever reason.

The only room that actually looks lived-in is his room, the messiest thing in the room being his (long) desk since he’d generally work on stuff there.

Has a lamp, a pencil holder, a file holder, and his laptop. But also expect to see stacks of books, papers lying around, maybe an empty coffee mug or three, and tools he didn’t put away on top of it.

I can’t imagine him NOT making his own tools (lockpicks, goho-ms, etc.). But he probably had to learn how to make them through trial and error (and using google). At least he had like, two years to learn.

Of course he has a bunch of books in his house. He’s an *~~intellectual~~*, he’s gotta look the part.

Most of his bookshelves are like. Philosophy books, law books, mystery novels, school textbooks, stuff about cognitive psience, and ‘How-to’ books.

He may or may not secretly keep manga in his room.

I like to think he has a balcony. Though it’s pretty bare outside of maybe drying his clothes, he likes to contemplate about stuff out there.

He doesn’t really like staying home very much though, he only stays when necessary. Unfortunately, getting punched by depression and wanting to just lay in bed all day doesn’t count as a necessity to him, especially since he’s undiagnosed.

His fridge generally consists of takeout (either delivered from home or leftovers), beverages (like milk, iced coffee, any SP-recovering weird sodas), butter, bread, eggs, deli meat, and maybe a salad pack.

His freezer is exclusively full of frozen meals. 90% is microwaveable, while the rest of the 10% is stuff you heat up in the oven or steam it with.

His pantry is full of instant-made microwaveable food. Or stuff that doesn’t require much prep work or knowledge in the kitchen, like Mac and Cheese, Hamburger Helper, canned soup, and tuna packages.

Though he also has stuff like tea packs, hot chocolate mix, and instant coffee in the off chance he actually gets a visitor. A lot of them may or may not be past the "Best By” date.

A lot of his budget goes into skincare and hair products as a celebrity-figure that shows up on TV a lot, so predictably his bathroom is just chock full of the stuff.

GOD I WISH HIS FASHION SENSE WASN’T SO NERDY but unfortunately, he’s a kid trying to grow up too fast in order to be taken seriously and hiding the fact that he’s an orphan and didn’t have money before so we’re just gonna have to deal with his preppy grandpa fashion sense

[lokiarsene]

like yesterday, here's a bullet list of my thoughts for episodes 18~21

thoughts on episode 18:

oh no, it's the beach episode.

-- i really like how they show the way the PT take care of futaba. ren patiently cleaning up her room in between hours at the florist, them playing vidya with her, or just having lunch together in montage moments is very sweet. it makes me wish the anime had much slower pacing, more slice of life-y kind of drama.

-- watching yusuke, ryuji, and futaba lose their freakin minds over good curry is VERY relatable.

-- i still don't understand why ann and makoto thought that a two piece frilly bathing suit was the way to go with futaba. a one piece that she could wear under a long wrap or a hoodie would've made so much more sense... but >male gaze

-- have i told y'all how fucking tired i am of the sexualization of the teenage girls in p5 yet, and how it is one of the several things that fuckin ruined this game for me

have i?

well here it is again

none of the previous games were as bad as this b t w and p4 had one of the dungeons be a STRIP CLUB.

-- yusuke and his lobsters are wonderful.

-- oh god i forgot COMPLETELY about the whole 'mental shutdowns' thing in this game's plot. i think because it's all so pointlessly convoluted. p3 had something similar but even there it was just people turned catatonic for weeks on end when the monthly boss-shadows drew near.

i think the reason i find this so hard to understand is because from p3 to p4 the rules of shadows didn't really change so much. p3 had the persona users go up against shadow bosses; p4 had people confront the shadows within themselves, either accepting them completely (which then turned into persona), or the shadow 'absorbed' the person and ran rampant as a monster. neither of those rules really contradict each other, but in p5 personal shadows for persona users are gone completely, and how you deal with other people's personal shadows doesn't even involve them being present to complete the merge.

mona says that persona users can't have palaces, but persona users in 4 could and DID have 'dungeons' within the shadows' worlds. these dungeons dealt specifically with what was at the core of the shadows' emergence--a deep secret and a hidden truth that caused the shadow to grow, a place that was a replica and a distortion of reality based upon that suppressed truth. so that sure sounds like a fucking palace to me.

so....................... unless there's like, multiple realities folded into our own, and persona users can only access certain ones.................. i'm just super confused.

like, i know it's because the rules change game to game, but p3 to p4 didn't have any contradictions, and p2 didn't contradict anything in p3, either. it just went from a full party of wild card users to a singular one.

-- i'm glad ann's getting a little screentime here. i was just thinking about how other characters' development was lacking after makoto and futaba got so much focus.

-- mona's so sweet to ann ;-; now that he has a human form in p5r, i hope they become really good friends. she needs a kind guy friend that'll be reliable~ plus he makes her laugh.

-- sojiro talking about the anniversary of wakaba's death is......... really interesting........ considering that screenshot of futaba sitting next to a woman with the exact same haircut as her "deceased" mother.

-- ren reassuring mona that he absolutely has to be human, that he will return to who he used to be once they figure out what's happening in the metaverse is jsut jdfklasd

AND HIS LIL ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN MONA TALKS ABOUT ALL THE THINGS HE'S GOING TO DO TO KEEP THE WORLD SAFE ;-;

AND THAT SHOT OF HIM SLEEPING CURLED UP ON REN'S STOMACH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-- listen i know mona isn't rly a cat but he's the BEST cat

thoughts on episode 19:

oh it's the hawaii episode.

-- man what the hell kinda budget do these school's got that they can just go overseas with dozens of students on a yearly basis? that's impressive.

-- ryuji: "whoa, awesome! ..... i don't really get it, but awesome!" fjdsafds okay that got a laugh outta me. good one, ryuji.

-- ren: "i'm excited, too." (said in a monotone) fjklsadsl BLESS THIS BOY

-- ren's FACE when he learns that futaba installed a spying app on his phone and can hear him/see pictures he takes is...... kind of hilarious. especially if you have the headcanon that he and akechi send dumbass snapchats to each other a lot--which i do. and which you do now, too.

-- mona's depression is ten times more sad because he's a cat okay :c why they gotta make the cat so cute

-- ren, ryuji, and ann's lil sleepover is adorable. especially since ann chastises ryuji for not knowing one of the basic rules of a sleepover: if you start talkin' about your crushes, you gotta start with your own~ thems the rules lads

-- rip principal bloatneck.

-- honestly that truck shoulda at least TRIED to stop.

-- "A LO HA." goddammit that's adorable

AND HE GIVES THE LEI NECKLACE TO MONA FJDSKFJDSKL ren you're so SWEET.

-- I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT MONA CALLS SAE "ONEE-NO-NIIJIMA" FJADSKLFJDSKL ahhhh it's so cute.

-- the PT targeting okumura, who is essentially the dave thomas with political ambitions of the persona 5 world, is far funnier now that i phrase it like that.

-- ANN, OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE, SAYING THAT THEY PROBABLY BROUGHT THIS RECENT TROUBLE ON THEMSELVES, IS A FUCKING STUPID WRITING DECISION. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE DIDN'T LOOK AT THAT AND GO, "ANN WOULDN'T SAY THIS. ANN HAS NO REASON TO SAY IT." god. lmao PLEASe let p5r be a goddamn second draft.

-- mona's totally right that ryuji's just concerned with getting popular and his dick wet. like,,, that's why this argument only made me hate ryuji more than i already did. he gets pissy when mona points out the truth.

god he sucks lmao

I'M SORRY I'M SO SALTY YOU GUYS

LOOK I'LL SAY SOMETHING NICE: SAE AND AKECHI ARE COOL

-- i really like how guarded akechi's face looks in his conversation with sae, and how off his guard he looks when she tells him that she's not going to hold back, especially since the culprit is doing such dire, awful things. he's not exactly surprised, but he's definitely uneasy and shaken by what he hears. which makes me wonder who he’s really concerned for--himself, or for ren (and the PT by extension, but akechi only really seems to care about ren, so).

the reason i like that is because the okumura arc in p5 is really where akechi's mind starts its downward spiral. principal kobayakawa's death obviously rattled him, especially since the only reason the principal died was because shido saw him as useless and disposable, something akechi is desperate NEVER TO BE. and it's that + what happens with okumura that really kicks him over the edge.

i hope p5r will give us the chance to pull him back from it. he deserves a better chance than the game's subpar writing gave to him.

thoughts on episode 20:

-- ren wakes up in a panic because he thinks he sees mona on his bed ;___________;

-- goro snoopin' on the PT's LOUD, TOTALLY CONSPICUOUS conversation in front of okumura foods' HQ is kind of adorable if you remember he clearly loves star wars (HE HAS A LIGHT SABER), and the camera cuts to his face right as they're talking about big bang and outer space lingo.

-- oh, haru. i really wish you were the black mask. that would've been so much cooler--and an actual twist. her total hopeless panic about being a beauty thief could still be a thing (because it is actually endearing), it'd just be an act. but that's me talkin' fix-its again.

-- i really like the scene of haru defending mona to the PT on the rooftop, then cutting to show just how strained her relationship is with her father. she exists to be useful to her father's ambitions and nothing else, and that scene really drove home just how painful that is for her.

-- REN TWIRLS HIS HAIR BETWEEN TWO FINGERS WHEN HE'S DEEP IN THOUGHT. AHHHHHHH I FORGOT HE DID THAT

-- oh hey remember how the game went through the trouble of showing how haru's fiance is a sexist, violent, animal-hurting piece of shit and then promptly failed to actually separate her from him in game (i think you only can do that in her s-link?? the s-link you can barely finish in your first run of the game??), and in t hEN SHOWED HER IN THE CAR WITH HIM LATER, LOOKING HORRIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE?

god this story makes me so fucking mad lmfao STOP PUTTING GIRLS IN PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY VIOLENT PERIL AND NEVER ACTUALLY ENSURING THAT THEY'RE SAFE, YOU DAVID CAGE LEVEL OF HACK BULLSHIT WRITERS.

-- ryuji running into the attic, all worried about mona, with a first aid kit, is..... very good. very good and endearing. good on you, ryuji.

-- haru gently encouraging mona to tell the truth is also really good. idk if i just missed it in the game or what, but i really like how she's presented in the anime. she's like a counterpart to ren--soft, sincere, observant, patient, yet she's made of pure steel beneath all that.

thoughts on episode 21:

-- WHY WAS HARU'S GRANDFATHER GIVING COFFEE TO A FIVE YEAR OLD

-- haru, the reason your father's heart grew twisted is thanks to capitalism. you gotta change the heart of capitalism.

-- not to be all poochie here but whenever akechi isn't on screen, all i can ask myself is whERE'S AKECHI?

-- HOW CAN I TAKE THE EVIL DAVE THOMAS SERIOUSLY WHEN HE'S DRESSED LIKE FUCKIN MEGAMIND?

-- okay see this is where i'm thrown completely out of the story or even really liking haru. haru just listened to her dad's shadow saying he would PIMP HER OUT TO HER FIANCE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. and she still is just like ~no i want him to go back to being kind~

bitch are you nuts

are you NUTS

youR DAd SHOULD DIE AND YOU'D BE BETTER OFF

CONSIDERING HOW THE GAME GOES, YOU ARe BETTER OFF

god. i'm getting so mad again lmao

-- ren approaching haru to point out that if the truth of her father's crimes comes to light, she'll forever be associated with him (and with all the harm and ruined reputation that brings) is, once again, further reminder of just how... damn good ren is. he doesn't hesitate to speak from the heart nor does he ever fail to listen to someone else speak from theirs.

-- also not for nothing but uh

how did the cops not like

figure out how the PT phan-site was set up within the first few months and track it down to mishima? was that ever addressed at all?

-- honestly another reason why i get so fucking mad about this okumura stuff is the game goes SO FAR OUT OF ITS WAY to make you feel BAD that he died, when he was by all rights a fucking shitheel monster, yet when akechi dies it's like 'oh well. that sucked.' fuck off, atlus. the death of a greedy, heartless CEO isn't more sad just because his gaslit daughter is conditioned to be sad about it.

i understand that a large part of the shock after okumura's death is because the PT don't know if they did anything wrong. but okumura was in no way a good person. he was in no way a person whose redemption overruled all the hurt and harm he did. that has been the case for EVERY PT target before this, so why the fuck is okumura suddenly so different? why SHOULD he be?

the difference between him and, say, akechi is that okumura et. al. all made those choices on their own to do terrible things. they delighted in it, they enjoyed it. but akechi, much like futaba, was forced into a cycle of self-destruction--it’s just that in futaba’s case, her self-destruction targeted herself, and akechi’s was quite literally weaponized and used against others. he approached shido as a young teenager and was then used by him for years.

a teenage boy being used as a magical hitman by his shitlord father is far more deserving of sympathy and redemption than grown adults who willingly make the decision to harm, abuse, and prey on others. but no, the game didn’t want to do that.

this is another big problem i have with p5's second and third acts: it's so tonally dissonant and sloppy. it's like they didn't try to actually be as rebellious and hellraiser-y as the first act WANTED to be, and it all ends up being such a limp-dick shriveled mess of "let's fight against this rotten society!! ......... as long as it in no way actually upsets anyone or does any REAL change." fuck off lmao

that's not me even commenting on the "twist" and how it needed to be explained MULTIPLE TIMES to the player for it to make any sense.

and it still doesn't make sense to me btw.

so that's another thing i hope p5r fixes.

-- rip evil dave thomas megamind.

-- akechi floating the idea to sae that the phantom thieves had nothing to do with okmura’s death is............................ interesting.

[ellanainthetardis]

I saw this first meeting au: “My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back” on a list and I just… couldn’t resist XD So you get a modern Au that’s half crack and half steam with a small amount of feelings on top. I don’t really know what this is but hopefully, some of you might like it!

[FF] or [ao3]

Buttercup, The Cat Burglar

Haymitch tossed his coat on the closest armchair, grumbling under his breath about how cold it was, both outside and in the house. The first thing he did was add a few logs in the dying fire and stroke it until it was a decent size again. Then, he turned around with the firm intention of pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

He hated market day.

He hated it with a passion.

He wasn’t sure if raising geese he had no desire to eat or sell so they could become food would be considered a lucrative business. As it was, he sell the eggs twice a week and the feathers he collected every couple of months, it didn’t make a fortune but added to the money he still had from his time in the military – because doing special secret operations for the government paid better than his birds – he got by easily. He wasn’t a great spender anyway now that the girls were both gone. A bottle of whiskey now and then – not enough to get irremediably addicted as promised to his surrogate kids – some books, and he was good.

He didn’t startle when he turned round to find the ugly ginger cat comfortably lying right where he hadn’t been a second ago. One would think he would have gotten used to the presence in his house but one would be very, very wrong. It was hard to get used to the muddy yellow tomcat, with its missing ear and mashed-in nose, jumping from every shadow to either hiss at you or rub against your legs lovingly, depending if he was in the mood for mayhem or food.

“What did you do now?” Haymitch asked with a resigned weariness. “Please, tell me it ain’t Greasy Sae’s stocking again…”

Ever since Prim had left for college, the cat had more or less moved from the Everdeens’ house to his. He figured that it was because Katniss had moved in with Peeta and Aster was still fragile and could barely take care of herself. He had never extended an invitation to the stupid cat but Buttercup seemed to have decided that with his owner gone for an extensive amount of time and his owner’s sister – who he hated – at the other side of town, Haymitch’s couch was the next best place to wait until Prim came back for the holidays.

So the fact that the cat seemed to have become kleptomaniac since Prim left seemed to fall on him – at least, according to the neighbors.

It had started with socks. Various sizes and colors, although almost always from Beetee Latier’s house – he knew, because after placing traps and catching the cat in a box, Beetee had knocked on his door with the culprit effectively jailed. Socks were handed back against the cat, promises were made that it would never happen again.

Of course, it had happened again.

Except not just with Beetee.

Lately, Buttercup seemed to have developed a liking for old Sae’s support stockings. The number of times he had strode back into the house with one of those dangling from his mouth…

Greasy Sae wasn’t someone who liked to joke around and he didn’t enjoy when she came around to lecture him on how to raise cats. She wasn’t moved when he pointed out Prim had done the raising. He was just… cat-sitting.

Whatever Buttercup had stolen now, it didn’t really look like a sock and Haymitch took a step closer, not frightened by the low grumbling of the clawed monster. They had an understanding the two of them. If the cat attacked him, the cat would go back to his own house and try his chance with Aster for a few days. A week of irregular meals that were never his favorite treats usually brought him back much easier to deal with.

At first, he almost concluded it was another of Sae’s stockings because of the fabric. It looked a little like nylon. Except it was an undefined color between green and blue. A pretty color, truth be told, that didn’t really fit Sae. Then, he realized it wasn’t nylon at all but lace and that the cat had already destroyed a good portion of it.

With the dexterity brought by experience, he snatched it away, tugging when Buttercup’s quick paw made a good job at trying to reclaim it by stabbing the delicate fabric with its claws.

Eventually, he managed to free it and let out a low impressed whistle once he figured out what he was holding. Lacy see through blue-green panties with a cheeky little golden bow on the back.

“Hope you didn’t get that from Sae.” he snorted, glancing at the cat. “You’re gonna get me in trouble again.”

Buttercup kneaded the couch with his claws in answer, a glint of murder in his black eyes. He was still staring at the ruined panties and Haymitch shook his head before going to the kitchen to throw them away, wondering if living with him had turned that cat into a psycho or if he had already been one before and just behaving for Prim’s sake.

Sae never came raging about an alleged panties theft so Haymitch forgot all about the matter.

At least until three days later when he found Buttercup very busy nuzzling what looked like a frilly pink thong on their kitchen’s table.

“You dirty, dirty old boy.” he accused, snatching the piece of clothing away. This one hadn’t suffered like the last one, which meant the cat hadn’t gotten around to playing with it yet or that he hadn’t been hungry enough to try and eat it. Or that he was more into nuzzling it but, really, that was pushing boundaries he didn’t feel comfortable exploring.

He studied the soft piece of fabric, unable to stop himself. It was delicate and just as see-through as the blue-green one had been, except for two thicker lines of lace at the seams that wouldn’t hide anything from view. Pretty.

“Wonder where you find this stuff.” he mumbled, his mouth suddenly a bit parched.

It had been quite a while since the last time he had let Chaff convince him to go into a bar to pick up someone and… He cleared his throat and put the thong in the box full of stolen items he kept on top of a cupboard, telling himself he would go out and find someone soon. Clearly, if he was turned on by the pink thong of a random stranger who could be absolutely ugly for all he knew, he needed to get laid very badly.

The next theft happened two days after that.

This time it was a burgundy thing in between a thong and panties, still see-through, with a triangle hole on the bottom. He figured the hole would fit right on the small of the woman’s back and…

“You started stealing in town, yeah?” he asked, his voice tight.

He didn’t know a single woman in their immediate neighborhood that would wear this sort of things. They were all either very old women or frantic mothers who were always late for something. He couldn’t imagine any in that sort of expensive kinky lingerie. Not one.

Buttercup was very irritated when he confiscated his new toy and tried to scratch him. After a couple of hours though, Haymitch was apparently forgiven on account of the cat’s empty stomach. It was almost funny to watch the animal roll on his lap and purr like a turbine, trying to get back into his good grace.

“Stupid cat.” Haymitch mumbled. “Stop stealing this stuff. I’ve got enough ‘you need a girlfriend’  bullshit from Finnick, I don’t need you jumping on that wagon. I sure don’t need a woman anyway. Though, can’t say I’d say no to a good fuck.”

He hadn’t called Chaff yet. Because Chaff, like Finnick and the rest of their friends including Prim and Katniss, were of the opinion that since he was done playing full time mentor-slash-unofficial-guardian to his neighbor’s daughters, he needed to find something else to do on the side. And by something else to do, what they really meant was someone else. Peeta had even tried to create him an account on a dating website, he had lost count of the number of blind dates he had narrowly escaped in the last couple of months… No, it was much safer to stay home, filter his calls and avoid his friends as much as possible.

He could go to the bar by himself and find a willing woman but with no one there to keep him from the edge, it would most likely end up with him getting wasted than with a one-night-stand. And if he called Finnick or Chaff…  He needed to get laid, true, but he didn’t need – nor wanted – a girlfriend. No matter what his friends thought.

His last serious relationship had ended up with the girl dead along with the rest of his family while he was on the other end of the planet for a stupid mission – the one that had cost him half his team and during which he had been forced to witness forty-eight kids dying when a school was accidentally bombed. A success all around.

He would probably have ended up a waste of space, a cliché drunkard vet who could barely function, if he hadn’t met Katniss a few years after he had come back. Eleven and an orphan with a defiant attitude, a stubborn streak that was far too endearing, an adorable little sister and a depressed mother – and so very much in need of help, he had been invested before he had even realized it. Prim often said he had saved them but, really, it was the other way around.

And now they were both gone because that was how those things go. Children left the nest. And he was lonely and bored and, sure, Katniss checked in every two days and he liked her boyfriend a lot because Peeta was a sweet boy who always made sure he had fresh bread and didn’t forget to eat but… It wasn’t the same.  

He didn’t need a girlfriend though.

That was just his stupid friends projecting their own life goals on him.

He jumped with a curse when Buttercup bit his hand and he glared at the tomcat on his lap.

“Yeah, fine. Let’s get you fed, you monster.” he spat, chasing him from his knees.

Routine, he told himself, routine was good. Feed the cat, grab a book… Maybe a good jerk off before bed…

Routine.

A routine that was disturbed the next morning, while he was checking on the geese, by Buttercup dashing down the street and straight through the open kitchen door as if the devil himself was hot on his heels, something red dangling between his teeth. Haymitch followed after him because the red thing looked much bigger than panties or socks.

The cat was out of breath, huddling in the corner of the kitchen, and it took Haymitch almost a whole minute to snatch the piece of fabric Buttercup had stolen this time. Lace again but not panties… He turned it around a couple of times, trying to make sense of it. Was it a bra or a top? It looked far too… slutty for a top so it must have been lingerie, a bra, yeah… Two triangle of lace that tied around the neck and the back, with a very big diamond-shaped hole in the middle that couldn’t hide much at all.

The bra’s cups didn’t look big… He was about to guess at the size by trying to fit his fist there – scientific curiosity and nothing else – when the doorbell rang. Three times in a row.

Haymitch glared at Buttercup because he had a good idea what it was about and tossed the bra on the kitchen’s table before making his way to the front door. By that time, whoever it was had rung it two more times and he hated that sound. Most people knocked around there. It wasn’t that big a town, after all.

He brutally opened the door, a scowl on his face.

The woman was… Gorgeous, was a good word for it. Posh, was another one. He didn’t think he had ever seen someone so posh in their little corner of the world before. She was wearing a soft grey high-waist pencil skirt, impossibly tall heels and a blue blouse that made her eyes look even bluer than they already were. The legs were endless and the eyes were very blue, her blond hair was pinned high in a severe bun that reminded him of Tinkerbell – because Prim had had a phase around ten when she wanted her hair just like that all the time – and didn’t suit her at all.

She looked uptight – which he hated.

Except he had a good idea of what kind of stuff she was wearing under those strict clothes and that wasn’t uptight at all – which was interesting.

“Yeah?” he said, not bothering to hide his annoyance at being disturbed.

She pursed her lips but forced a pleasant polite smile when she outstretched her hand. “Mr Abernathy, I suppose? Effie Trinket. I recently moved in a little further down the street.”

Damn but her voice was high-pitched.

And her accent… Clipped vowels and an affected tone…

The airs she was giving herself.

He folded his arms in front of his chest and ignored the hand, a little disappointed. Not that he had been fantasizing about the kinky panties’ owner but… Well, he had been a little. Maybe he had let himself picture a nice woman with a generous laugh, glossy dark hair and easy to get along who would have joked the whole criminal cat off.

And instead what he got was…

What even was she to dress like that? An accountant? A lawyer? A secretary?

“And?” he prompted when she simply stood there, waiting for him to acknowledge her words or welcome her in the neighborhood or whatever people did those days.

She pursed her lips even further and narrowed her eyes, letting her hand drop back to her side. He had to give her that, when she spoke, her voice was perfectly controlled, not a hint of irritation came through. “Do you, by any chance, own a cat, Mr Abernathy?”

“Nope.” he shrugged.

Her jaw clenched, her blue eyes glared daggers and he found himself shifting because…

She was very, very hot.

And he couldn’t stop thinking about the red bra on his kitchen table and how he had been right, there wasn’t much up there but enough that it would fit perfectly in his hands and…

Her next words jerked him off from the fantasy he was quickly falling into.

“How peculiar.” she hissed. “You see, I asked around and the consensus seems to be that you own a particular ginger cat with a missing ear.”

“That’s Primrose Everdeen’s cat, you’re looking for.” he told her, glancing around behind her.

The street was calm and deserted but he knew there would be at least one or two old women behind their curtains, spying on them. After all, Sae’s stockings weren’t the only ones that had been stolen and that Effie Trinket looked like the kind of person who give him a good run for his money. He supposed old ladies had to find their revenge where they could. Unless it was Beetee who still hadn’t forgiven him for his favorite socks getting ruined who had directed her to him.  

“Primrose Everdeen.” she repeated, clearly not convinced.

He helpfully pointed at the right house, thinking it was only right Aster had to deal with this. It was her cat too after all. “Next door.”

He didn’t feel very guilty about it. Aster would probably not even answer the doorbell. She never did.

Effie Trinket – and what kind of name was that ? – didn’t even glance in the direction he indicated. She placed her hands on her hips and studied him.

She was aggravated, that was plain to see. She was also very much checking him out if he wasn’t mistaken.

He lifted his eyebrows, his lips stretching into a smirk.

She ignored it.

“Everyone seemed to agree the cat was yours.” she remarked.

“Everyone’s wrong.” he shrugged.

“Then, why did I see him dash into your backyard just a few minutes ago?” she retorted with a sweet, sweet smile that promised a thousand torture wrapped in a nice little bow.

“Didn’t say I wasn’t feeding him.” He smirked harder.

She blinked twice but he couldn’t really guess at what was happening in her head. She had a very good poker face.

“Do you train your cat to commit burglaries, Mr Abernathy?” she asked.

How she could word that question with a straight face, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t help a chuckle. “Ain’t my cat, sweetheart. I’m just making sure he doesn’t starve.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it only to open it again, her tone suddenly more chilly. “My name is Effie Trinket. You may address me as Effie or Miss Trinket but you certainly cannot call me sweetheart.”

“Sure.” he agreed easily. “Sorry. Princess.”

If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead.

It really shouldn’t have been that attractive.

But maybe if she would stop sneaking glances at his mouth…

“Your cat repeatedly broke into my house.” she accused.

He rolled his eyes. “Ain’t my cat and it ain’t my fault he likes socks. Take it up with Prim when she comes back from college.”

“Oh, I think we are both aware he did not steal socks.” she snapped. “Now. Do you have my belongings or should I simply go to the police station and report you for…”

“For what?” he challenged, amused.

“Feline mugging!” she exclaimed, poking his chest with an accusative finger. “You trained that beast to sneak into innocent women’s home and steal their underwear! Probably for your twisted enjoyment!”

He snorted at that. “You know, I’m half tempted to go with you just to see Cray’s face if you try to report that.” He shook his head, eyes twinkling in amusement. It had been a while since someone had bothered to keep up with him in that kind of banter. And he wasn’t the only one that the conversation had amused. He could see it under her irritation. She was enjoying this too. Maybe a little too much. Her finger was still poking at his chest, less too accuse and more to… check firmness. He batted it away. “Come in. Your stuff’s in the kitchen.”

He stepped back but she didn’t move.

She lifted perfectly shaped eyebrows. “You expect me to walk into the home of a possible pervert?”

“My cat’s the pervert.” he mocked, heading to the kitchen, leaving her to follow or stay there.

“I thought it wasn’t your cat?” she retorted.

Still, after a few seconds, he heard the front door closing and the echoing sound of her heels on floorboards. He tossed her a glance over his shoulder, not quite surprised to see her less than impressed with his house. It was a mess and not as clean as it should be. Hazelle did her best but even the most awesome housekeeper couldn’t match his natural tendency for chaos.

“Holding your nose?” he taunted. “Smell that bad?”

She looked horrified at having been found out.

“I would never!” she protested with a huff. “How rude do you suppose me to be?” She pursed her lips, looked around again and then… “I do not mean to offend you in any way but why does it smell so much like poultry?”

“’Cause some of the geese wandered in this morning.” he shrugged. He tended to leave the backdoor open and that sort of things happened more than he wanted to linger on. Hazelle always complained about having to clean geese poop from his floors.

“Geese.” she repeated slowly, understanding quickly dawning on her face. The honking had probably puzzled her. “Do you own any normal pet?”

“Normal’s overrated, sweetheart.” he dismissed.

Her face hardened again. She really wasn’t keen on pet names.

Which only made him all the more determined to use them.

Riling her up was fun.

“There you are.” she scowled once she stepped in the kitchen and found Buttercup sitting in the middle of the table, relaxed as you pleased, his butt on the red lace Haymitch had tossed there earlier. “You are a very naughty cat, mister.”

Buttercup flicked his brushy tail one way and then the other, eyeing her with obvious disdain.

Haymitch privately thought he looked less proud of himself earlier when he had been running like hell from her fury.

He grabbed the plastic box from the top of the cupboard and handed it to her. “Take whatever’s yours.”

She looked stunned at the number of pieces of clothing in the box. Socks mainly, a couple of stockings, a few half-eaten tights and, of course, her underwear.

He kept his eyes averted because now that she was standing right there in his kicthen, he felt bad.

It wasn’t that she was embarrassed exactly but she did blush a little when she quickly snatched her thongs. Her previous indignation wasn’t so funny anymore. After all, she didn’t know him and he had seen something private he hadn’t been meant to. She had every right to be furious. After the cat and after him for not controlling the furry pest better.

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I tossed the first one in the trash. He had eaten it.”

“I see.” she said flatly before clearing her throat. “My bra, if you will? I dare not approach this cat, he almost clawed my arm off earlier.”

The blouse’s sleeves covered any possible injury from view but Haymitch winced, knowing just how vicious Buttercup could be. He didn’t escape unscathed when he rescued the bra but he didn’t think it warranted her shocked gasp. The scratches on his forearm were bleeding but it wasn’t that bad. He opened the cold tap and let water stream on it, watching her ball her underwear, probably hoping it would make it less obvious what she was carrying.

“There are trash bags in that cupboard.” he offered, pointing to a low cupboard.

“Thank you.” Her smile was relieved and grateful and, for the first time since she had rung that doorbell, genuine. It was also breathtaking. Not that Haymitch would have had admitted that. She quickly hid everything from view in the trash bag and then approached him to peer at the wound on his arm. “Do you have a first aid kit? I think you need a bandage at the very least.”

He was half tempted to let her play nurse.

“Ain’t that bad.” he denied, turning the water off and flicking his hand a few times before wiping it with a dishcloth that had been abandoned on the counter. “Look… I’m sorry, alright? For real.” He wasn’t really good at apologies and he felt awkward now. “I know I should probably have tried to find you to give it back but… He’s only stolen socks and stuff like that before, never…”

“Well… He has good lingerie taste.” she joked. “There is always that.”

Her eyes were riveted on the floor and there was a soft blush on her cheeks. It was obvious she was uncomfortable and that made him feel even worse because… He didn’t want her to feel that way. It wasn’t right.

“I didn’t look.” he lied.

She shot him an incredulous look and he winced.

“Not much.” he amended.

Her lips twitched and while the awkwardness didn’t completely disappear, she looked more amused than ill-at-ease. Confident again. He liked that, he realized, the charisma she had.

“Can’t promise it won’t happen again.” he warned. “He’s been acting out since my kid left for school.”

She frowned, curiosity written all over her face. “I thought you said it was the neighbor’s cat?”

“It is.” he confirmed and then rolled his eyes because he was so used to everyone knowing the story that it was odd to have to explain it. “The girls next door are kind of my kids. Raised them. Sort of. It’s complicated.”

“I see.” she said. She studied him for a second and then flashed him a polite smile. “Well. It was nice to meet you, Mr Abernathy, but I am afraid I must dash. I simply must get to work.”

“Okay.” he shrugged, walking her back to the front door. He watched her strut down his lane and then called out, just as she was opening the gate. “Name’s Haymitch, by the way.”

She paused, looked back with another of those blinding smiles, and then continued on her way down the street.

He found Buttercup sulking on the couch.

“Fine.” he snorted. “You’ve got taste.”

The cat growled in answer but Haymitch dropped next to him anyway, ignoring his bad mood. Buttercup was always in a bad mood.

He spent the whole day in a weird frame of mind, unable to shake off the memory of Effie Trinket staring him down. Fuck, but he had forgotten how hot a fiery woman could be.

It was all it was, of course, and he told himself that firmly.

She was witty and beautiful and clearly had no trouble flirting with strangers who owned a pervert cat…  

And he had a bad case of blue balls.

When he kicked his sweatpants off that night and wrapped his hand around himself, it was just to relieve some of that tension. So, sure, he first started thinking about glaring women and, sure, those women soon turned into one gorgeous blue-eyed blonde. It wasn’t right to jerk off to the thought of the new neighbor he had only met because his cat had stolen her – kinky – panties but he was too far off to care at that point…

He couldn’t stop imagining her, what she would look like… How it would feel to rip that skirt and blouse off her, too easy to picture the red bra or the pink thong on her… None of that tight bun on her head either… Her blond hair sprawled on the pillow under her head… His fingers tangling in the strands…  

His hand was rough and almost brutal as he stroke himself to relief.

Would she be rough or sweet? Soft or violent? Shy or passionate?

The possibilities were endless and by the time he made a mess of his sheets, he was out of breath, delirious with lust and half-hoping Buttercup would steal from her again just so he could have an excuse to approach her.

Not that he would ask her out…

He didn’t ask women out.

He didn’t date.

He didn’t…

But maybe they could…

Yeah, a sarcastic voice at the back of his mind mocked, a woman like her, she’s clearly into one night stands. Sure. Tell yourself that.

“Shit.” he muttered.

He hated to think the voice was right but he wasn’t very talented at hoping or lying to himself. He flopped on his stomach, firmly told himself to stop being an idiot and forced himself to  go to sleep.

He went out into town the next day.

Because he was low on groceries, not because he was hoping to bump into her.

If he had hoped to bump into her, he would have been disappointed anyway because she was nowhere to be found.

He stopped at the bakery last, happy to find Katniss there so he could lecture her again about what an inconvenience her stupid cat was.

“It’s Prim’s cat, not mine.” was the only answer he got out of the girl.

Two more days passed without any burglary – although he did have a moment of hope when he found Buttercup munching on a black fabric but it turned to be one of his socks – and Haymitch pretended very hard he wasn’t disappointed with that. He wondered if she had found a system to keep her underwear a little more secure than previously or if she had just gotten better at making sure the cat couldn’t get in at all.

He wondered a lot about her.

It was ridiculous, of course. He had seen her once. Utterly ridiculous. And he was done with this weird obsession. Completely done. He was over it. Absolutely over it.

From Hazelle – who he subtly interrogated while she was doing the cleaning and complaining about how he couldn’t keep his house spotless for three bloody days straight – he got that she had moved in a little over two weeks earlier from a big city. From Sae, he figured out she wasn’t much of a cook because either she came to the restaurant – and mostly ate alone – or she ordered take out. From Peeta, he learned that she had bought the empty building at the corner of the street from the bakery and was planning to open a lingerie shop – which explained a lot if not everything. From Katniss, all he found out was that the woman was odd – which probably meant too eccentric and posh for her tastes.

After a week of heavy denial and quite a few evenings spent pretending he wasn’t jerking off to fantasies of her touching him, he finally admitted she had caught his eye and that he should do something about it.

A resolution that was quickly forgotten when he realized he hadn’t seen Buttercup in a while. He hadn’t been immediately worried because the cat came and went as he pleased and it wasn’t unheard of for him to go back to the Everdeens’ house for a night or two or even to Katniss and Peeta’s but it was odd for him not to come back and ask for food three days in a row.

He refused to admit being worried because it wasn’t like he cared about the cat – it was well known Haymitch Abernathy didn’t care for anything or anyone after all, or at least that was what he liked to pretend – but it was Prim’s cat and Prim would be devastated if anything happened to him. He looked everywhere for the stupid animal. At Aster’s, at the bakery, in the meadow, in every street and dark alley…

So, in the end, it was a bit anticlimactic when the doorbell rang, just as he was about to call Katniss and beg her to help him hunt Buttercup down, to find Effie Trinket standing on his doorstep with a slightly displeased expression on her face.

He had been imagining that very scene for a while now – and in every version of it, he was quite the charmer and it ended always ended with a kiss – but now he had more pressing concerns.

“Buttercup didn’t steal anything.” he snapped defensively before she could open her mouth. “He’s gone. I can’t find him.”

“Oh, I know.” she breathed out with obvious irritation. “He is in my bed.”

He had to do a double take at that. “What?” He frowned, taking in the short tight red dress she was wearing. It was the complete opposite style of the skirt and blouse she had been wearing the other day and he wondered if that was her being relaxed or if… “Is that a come-on?”

Because he was tempted.

But the missing cat…

She lifted her eyebrows, an amused smile floating on her lips. “Not quite. Your cat is literally in my bed and I cannot shoo him away without him hissing at me. I thought about just… bundling him in the sheets but I do not want to hurt him, no matter how rude he acts. Could you…”

“Yeah.” he said at once, puzzled by what had gotten into that tomcat now. He had never done that before. Sneak into a neighbor’s house, yes. Steal stuff, yes. But just settle there?

He followed her down the street, trying not to be too obvious when he stared at her ass. It was impossible not to stare. It was right there and that dress clung to it like a second skin and she kept swinging her hips that bit too much…

“If you are quite done ogling me…” she grinned and he realized he had been so lost in his silent contemplation he had missed them reaching her house and her unlocking the door. She was waiting for him to come in, eyebrows raised.

“Wasn’t ogling you.” he muttered.

“You are not a great liar.” she snorted.

“Arrogant much?” he scoffed, annoyed at being found out so easily.

She thought she was in control here and that, that he didn’t like at all. He liked calling the shots. He liked being in charge. He liked…

“Perhaps.” she challenged. “However that does not mean I’m wrong.”

He ignored her smug face and stepped inside.

Challenging.

That was a good word for her. She was challenging. And fuck if he had ever been able to stop himself from raising to one.

Her house couldn’t have been more different to his. It was… colorful. Bright artworks on the walls, furniture made of dark cherry wood, colors everywhere else… Curtains, rugs… He glimpsed a red fridge and matching appliances on their way past the kitchen…

The layout of the house was similar to his though, so he wasn’t surprised when she led him up the stairs and to the left. The master bedroom was all in pink and cream tones. It was ridiculous but not without its charm, he figured.

Given that everything seemed to have its proper place in the house and that everything was meticulously clean, he very much doubted she had left the bed unmade that morning so he deduced that Buttercup had been the one making a mess of it. He had made himself a nice little nest with the bedspread and the sheets.

“He has been coming and going for the last couple of days.” she explained. “I think he spent the night downstairs once or twice. We had an agreement that as long as he did not steal my underwear again he was welcome.” She pursed her lips at the cat. “But this is taking it a bit far.”

“You could have said.” he spat. “I’ve been looking for him.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “What do I know of your cat’s habits? Trust me, I did not ask him to stay.”

He studied her with some mistrust. He wasn’t going to explain to Prim that a stranger had stolen her cat.

“Get your own pet.” he warned.

“Gladly.” she huffed. “Perhaps I will get a dog. It should keep your cat from breaking and entering.”

He looked her up and down and then smirked. “You ain’t a dog person. You’re high maintenance. Like a cat.”

“Oh, you think you have me all figured out, haven’t you?” she hissed.

“Not yet.” he shrugged. “But that’s the fun part.”

He half-expected her to blush or stutter but she stared straight back at him instead, her chin jutted high, a hint of defiance in her blue eyes… At least until her gaze darted to his mouth and she licked her own lips.  

His smirked widened.

Had she been thinking about him too?

All the flirting didn’t mean she wanted more but…

“Get that cat off my bed.” she ordered.

“Bossy.” he commented.

“In everything.” she remarked in a casual way that was not casual at all. Her voice was just that little bit lower and…

“What do I get out of it?” he asked, folding his arms in front of his chest.

Buttercup was eying both of them in turn with very obvious annoyance.

“Your cat back.” she deadpanned.

“Maybe I don’t want him back.” he challenged.

“You wanted him back two seconds ago.” she remarked.

“Maybe I’m fickle.” he shrugged.

Her grin was slow and almost predatory, her eyes were twinkling with amusement. “I sincerely hope not. Fickle men are not worth my time.”

Suddenly the pink and cream tones of the room didn’t look so ridiculous. They look intimate. He wanted to step closer to her, maybe to kiss her just to erase that taunting grin from her lips…

He didn’t move.

If he moved first, he lost.

And he was very much enjoying the game.

“Maybe I want something more than just the cat.” he stated and he barely recognized his own voice. It was rough and just as predatory as her grin.

Another woman might have been intimidated or scared by a virtual stranger making that sort of heavy flirting in their bedroom, she barely blinked. She simply tilted her head to the side. “Name your price.”

“Maybe I want to see what you’ve got under your dress.” He waited a second, just to make sure he wasn’t pushing it too far but when she just stood there and stared back with the very same glint of lust in her eyes, he licked his lips. “Maybe I want to see how this frilly stuff Buttercup stole looks on you.”

“That is assuming I have any underwear on.” she hummed.

A sound escaped his throat, halfway between a groan and a whine.

He wasn’t sure who moved first.

All he knew was that one second they were standing a respectable distance apart, the next her mouth was crushed against his, hot and demanding, and her hands were ripping buttons off his shirt. The kiss was almost brutal, dirty in all the right ways, her fingers tangled in his hair, pulled… He fumbled with the zipper of her dress, he tried to shove it down but it got stuck around her hips and she stopped him to slip it over her head instead…

She had a black lacy bra on underneath and the matching panties to go with.

And she was even more gorgeous than he had thought she would be.

He wasn’t sure how they ended up against the wall or where she had been hiding the condom she rolled on him.

They were kissing again, then she was tugging him and then he was pining her against the hard surface…

It was rough and frantic and he briefly wondered if she had been having a dry spell too because she looked as desperate and eager as he was…

The noises she was making though…

Fuck, but he could get addicted to those.

Moans and sighs and whimpers and whines…

It was over far too fast. Her strangled cry of pleasure brought him over the edge and he lost his footing frantically thrusting his release into her. They collapsed on the floor, half on the bedside rug, out of breath and a little sweaty.

It took him a good minute to get rid of the condom, knot it and carefully place it aside, too dizzy from his climax to properly compute. He didn’t even try to stand up. He was pretty sure his legs would have protested.

It could have turned awkward really fast – because what the hell had even just happened? – if she hadn’t started laughing.

“See… When a woman laughs right after I’m done with her, it doesn’t do wonders for my ego…” he joked.

She rolled on her side and hooked a leg over his hip, propping her head on her hand and patting his chest with her other one. “I have a feeling your ego doesn’t need any stroking.”

“I’ve got something else I’d prefer you to stroke anyway.” he smirked.

She glanced down and bit down on her bottom lip in a thoughtful way. He was almost scared by what her brain was imagining now. Almost. He was also excited to find out.

“Perhaps later.” she hummed. “Once you have chased the cat from my bed.”

It was a dangerous assumption. Later. He didn’t usually stick around long enough with a woman for there to be a later.

But she was gorgeous, feisty, very naked, very willing and still something of a riddle. He had never been able to resist a good riddle. Or a challenge. And she was both. She was both in a very appealing package.

“You’re a weird woman.” he told her.

She was so different from any he had met before… He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing yet.

“Says the very puzzling neighbor.” she chuckled instead of taking offense. “Do you know nobody I asked could give me the same explanation about you? According to some, you are a recluse, to others you are a secret millionaire or a generous sweet man with a boorish exterior I should definitely consider going out with…”

“Let me guess…” he snorted. “That was Sae.”

“Peeta actually.” she corrected. “Sae’s suggestions were more… akin to what we just did.”

He lifted his eyebrows, not sure if he should be surprised or disgusted by the idea of the old woman making that sort of implications. He chose to ignore it altogether and focus on the main thing. “So. You asked about me.” He probably sounded far too smug about that and maybe the taunting was a little too much but he couldn’t help it. “Liked what you saw the other day, sweetheart? Couldn’t stay away?”

“Well, you were conducting your very own investigation.” she teased. “It seemed only fair I enquired in kind.”

“How do you…” he frowned.

“People talk.” she dismissed. “And you are quite handsome despite your rude cat. I was interested anyway.”

The way she said that scared him a little.

She didn’t say it as if she intended this to be just a fun night. She said it as if she intended to have fun nights quite a few number of time in the near future and maybe some serious stuff in between the fun too.

He wasn’t sure he was up for that…

Of course, it was the moment Buttercup jumped from the bed directly on his stomach, leaving claw marks on his already scarred side, and sauntered away with his tail high, hissing for no particular reason.

“I think the cat has a crush on you, sweetheart.” he scowled, glaring at the retreating butt of the animal.

“Poor thing.” she laughed and then she got busy kissing up the side of his neck. He guided her leg more firmly over his hips so she was almost straddling him…

“He’s a fragile cat, you know.” he commented casually, running his palm up and down her thigh. “Looks all tough but… He’s been hurt pretty bad before. Made him a bit wild. Ain’t quite sure he’d known how to be tamed.”

“Some untamed animals can be very loyal pets.” she retorted, letting her lips travel to his collarbone. Her tongue found a small scare there and retraced its length. “It takes time to win anyone’s trust. I am quite… fond of him too, for what it’s worth. Despite our short acquaintance.”

How she could talk so fancy when she was doing unspeakable thing to his nipple – sucking and licking and… – he didn’t know.  

“Just…  Don’t toy with the cat’s feelings, yeah?” he insisted, guiding her head up to capture her mouth in a violent kiss.

“Never.” she promised, her hand wandering down his side only hesitate on the big swollen scar. She kept her eyes averted and her voice sounded more fragile than he had ever heard it.  “But I hope he won’t play with mine either.”

“That’s not his style.” he snorted, brushing his fingers along the length of her spine. “He’s more into collecting your panties.”  

“What a naughty cat.” she chuckled. “Is his owner just as naughty?”

He rolled them over and started kissing his way down her stomach, intending to show her just how naughty he could be.

[yandereshit]

Saeran Choi: Memorized.

Number of words: 5,032 kill me please Saeran Choi x Reader Enjoy or at least try to   

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     “Hey, are you feeling hot? The temperature is hot! Wait a moment, there’s an ice cream truck over there, I will bring us some!”

     “Whatever you wish, princess.”

     The girl beamed happily, untangling her hand from his fingers. In a blink of an eye, she was already running in the truck’s direction.

     He suddenly heard tires’ squeal and his head instantly turned towards the racing car. The girl froze in her spot.

     The instinct was faster than his thoughts. 

     His only purpose was to push her out of the road. Everything happened so quickly that he didn’t even manage to acknowledge his own action.

     The whole scene lasted a mere few seconds.

     And then everything went black.

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     “[Name]... [Name]. Calm down, [Name].” Saeyoung grabbed your wrist and turned you towards him. His hands were on your cheeks now, making you look at him. Your face was covered with tears and you couldn’t even breathe properly at this point.

     “Saeyoung, it’s... This... is my fault... T-this is my fucking fault, h-he’s... W-what if he...”

     “Please, calm down, [Name].” You tried to move away from him, but he held you in place, his eyes staring deep into yours. He was as terrified as you now, but you panicking was pretty much enough for the two of you and so he forced himself to stay as calm as possible. “[Name], breathe.”

     He kept repeating your name over and over unless you finally gave up. The tears started streaming down your cheeks and you sobbed helplessly, finding little comfort in the boy’s embrace.

     Your heart was clenching in your chest and you felt as if the whole world just collapsed onto you. Your mind was filled with dark thoughts and never in your life had you felt you so scared.

     The door of the operating room suddenly opened and your head instantly turned towards the doctor that went out. He was clearly tired and his coat was stained with blood. The view made you feel sick.

     He went closer to you two, taking off his gloves and wiping the sweat from his forehead.

     “Are you his family...?”

     “I’m his brother” Saeyoung stated right away. You couldn’t help but peeked towards the operating room, but the door automatically closed and you couldn’t see anything.

     “He’s lost a lot of blood, but it wasn’t critical... His ribs are broken and there was a danger they’d pierce his lungs, but fortunately it didn’t happen. His head though... He has a TBI, we’re not sure how serious it is yet, so...” He sighed softly, looking at you. He smiled weakly, probably trying to comfort you. “His life is not in danger right now, but he’s still uncounscious. We moved him to another ward and he’s under constant watch, but for for the next few days we can’t let any guests in, he needs to rest...”

     “We’re his family” Saeyoung suddenly stated. “I understand we can’t see him now, but tomorrow...”

     The doctor sighed. 

     “Only a few minutes for the closest family, but that’s all I can offer.”

     “But her...” 

     “Only the closest family. Excuse me now.” He bowed politely and left, not saying anything else.

     For the next few minutes, there was that painful silence. You couldn’t blame Saeyoung for being able to see his brother, but there was nothing more painful right now than the fact you couldn’t see him as well. Even if he probably wouldn’t be able to talk, to see you...

     It hurt.

     And the guilt hurt even more. 

     Yet you couldn’t do anything but wait.

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     The first day, you’ve spent trying to calm down and distract yourself. Saeyoung would never leave your side, offering everything you’d need. It helped you feel better, but at the same time... you felt bad because you were the cause of all that and yet he was comforting you. You - the person who was responsible for his beloved brother’s injury. It felt just so wrong.

      The second day, Saeyoung went to the hospital. You insisted on going with him and at least waiting in front of the building till he finished the visit, but he told you it’ll be better if you stay at home and take a nap till he comes back and tells you how is Saeran doing.

     Later, you heard that he hadn’t regained his counsciousness yet and Saeyoung could only stay for a few minutes, so he didn’t find out much. He didn’t say anything more.

     The third day was worse than the previous. You didn’t go out of bed for hours and even refused to eat. You knew that Saeran should wake up soon and that with every passing day the chance of him actually waking up is lower. The doctors told you to just wait. But what if there was no point in waiting anymore...?

     The fourth day, Saeyoung went to the hospital again. This time, he let you join him and you waited patiently in the main hall. You were still nervous.

     But the eleventh day, everything inside you broke again.

     The doctors explained that there was something unclear with the results and, just in case, they decided to put him into an induced coma, so that he won’t wake up untill they find out what’s going on.

     But it was already ten days and your hope was already slipping away. For Saeyoung it wasn’t any easier. Yet he was strong, trying to carry on doing his work and taking care of you. You were the weak one, the one who couldn’t put everything together and who was a wrecked mess. A wrecked mess slowly slipping into depression.

     For the time being, no one let you even enter the room. For a few days, even Saeyoung was forbidden from doing so. Only after the doctors made sure the results are fine, he could have his few minutes.

     “Saeran, hi...” he said awkwardly, as every single time before. His voice was quiet, as if he was actually afraid of waking the boy up. He still hadn’t woken up. “It’s been... a long time since we’ve seen and...” He sighed deeply. “You can’t imagine how much we miss you... It’s hard for me, but [Name]... she’s... uh, it’s too much for her. So please, Saeran...” His eyes watered and he covered his face with his hands. “Please, wake up...”

     And right then, something changed. A slight motion, but he could sense it. He raised his head in an instant, watching and praying so that was not an illusion.

     A few minutes passed and the next movement - he was sure now - happened for real. His fingers really moved.

     “Saeran...?” he said quietly and his brother’s face twitched. 

     He ran to the door and told a nurse what just happened, then came back to the bed. 

     “Can you hear me...?” he asked, touching gently the boy’s shoulder. 

     He moved. He really did!

     The nurse stormed into the room with a doctor right behind her.

     “Are you his brother?” the doctor asked and Saeyoung nodded. “Good. We will need you to help him, but since he’s waking up now, he needs a few hours to recover. Please, come back tomorrow.”

     “O-okay. But...” he hesitated a bit. “Can I bring someone with me? It’s his girlfriend, I think she could help...”

     “Sure, why not.”

     As soon as Saeyoung told you the news, you started crying. So many tears have you let out the past two weeks, but those weren’t the bad ones. You felt a blissful relief and - at the same time - couldn’t believe it was true. You almost sunk too deep for anyone to reach you, but it was like a sun ray in a dark cave. It was enough to help you find a way out.

     All you wanted to do was to go straight away and see it with your own eyes, but as far as you’ve already gone, you agreed to wait. 

     That night you couldn’t sleep, nervousness eating you from inside, excitement even stronger at this point.

     And finally, the morning came. 

     You calmed down your breath, trying to look stable. Saeyoung placed his hand on your shoulder, smiling calmly. The doctor just talked to you, telling you how to behave. And that they still aren’t sure how much the damage did to his psyche - and so, you should be careful and understanding so that he doesn’t feel any pressure.

     “Ready?” Saeyoung smiled at you. You wanted to smile back, but right now you still felt like a mess.

     The door opened and you two went inside.

     The creaking of the door made the boy laying on the bed stir slightly. He was staring at the window when you entered, but now he looked at you, frowning slightly. 

     He was pale, his head still in some bandages. An IV was connected to his arm, just like some other beeping devices you’ve seen in TV a few times.

     He looked at you, then at his brother.

     Saeyoung smiled softly.

     “How are you feeling...?”

     The boy opened his mouth, but for a few seconds he couldn’t let out a single word, his throat dry and the voice - hoarse.

     “Sae... young...” he mumbled and the frown deepened. You felt your heart clench at his pained expression, but what happened next, was way worse. 

     You felt the redhead’s hand tighten on your shoulder.

     “Who... is she...?”

     Saeyoung’s eyes widened.

     Was there any good way to describe how you felt? 

     Doubtfully. For some reason, the sudden pain in your stomach was way worse than the one you felt when you weren’t sure if Saeran will even live.

     It was awful. You instantly found yourself wanting to vomit, or to run away, as far as possible.

     What could you do...? 

     You’ve suddenly felt so lost. As if you shouldn’t be here. 

     Saeyoung was here, he could help his brother, but you... There was no place for you. You were a stranger now.

     All those thoughts stormed through your head in a mere few seconds.

     You gulped down your pain.

     “I... I will wait outside” you stuttered and stormed out.

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     “[Name]?”

     You raised your eyes. In the mirror, you could see Saeyoung’s reflexion. He was standing behind your still trembling form right after you splashed cold water onto your face.

     “I think you shouldn’t go into ladies’ room” you laughed, but there was nothing funny in your expression.

     “How are you...” Saeyoung started, but he quickly hesitated, realizing that the question is stupid anyway. It was obvious that you felt terrible.

     You sighed softly, lowering your head and staring at the sink.

     “How is... he feeling?” you asked instead, trying to at least control your voice.

     “He’s... good. As good as it’s possible in his state...”

     You nodded slowly.

     “You... will have to take care of him now.” Your voice was quiet and weak.

     Saeyoung grabbed your shoulder, making you turn around and look at him.

     “We will have to.”

     “I don’t think he’d want a stranger to help him...”

     “You’re not a stranger. It’s...” The boy sighed and shook his head. “The doctor said he needs some time, and his memory... The last thing he remembers is when we were young. He’s lost a few years of memories. But...”

     “But...?”

     “...” He hesitated. “He doesn’t remember Mint Eye, nor Rika and V. As long as he doesn’t remember that everything, there’s a chance that... recalling anything related should easily trigger the rest of his memories. So the chance that he will recover is really high...”

     “...and even bigger if I’m by his side. But if he regains that everything, he will...” You shook your head. “He won’t be as happy as he could be if it all never happened” you realized.

     “[Name]...”

     “Maybe it’s better this way...?”

     “You know it’s not true...”

     “I know what you two went through, but the worst started when you had to leave him... Now you can live as if it never happened, don’t you want it...?”

     “If only I could, I would change the past. But the past hasn’t changed. Those things happened and we can’t pretend they did not. Making Saeran believe it would be only a comfortable lie. And if he could choose, I’m sure he’d never want to forget you.”

     You looked down, feeling ashamed now. There was truth in Saeyoung’s words and yet, wanting to get Saeran’s memory back sounded like a pointless hope. It was good enough that he lived, how could you expect anything more...?

     “[Name]. Let’s go back home now, okay?”

     You nodded without a word. The boy gently took your hand and leaded out of the hospital. There was nothing more you could do today.

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     “Ready?”

     Saeyoung smiled, patting your back. 

     A few days passed and here you were, back in the hospital. You felt almost like the first day when you could come, except for this time, you were less scared, only kind of more nervous, because you didn’t want to accidentally say anything inappropriate.

     You were told that you ought to be patient. You knew that any sudden news wouldn’t help a person with amnesia. 

     “No, but let’s go” you sighed.

     You were slowly becoming accustomed to the fact that there was still a long way to go. It wasn’t going to be funny. It probably was going to be even worse than after the whole Mint Eye case and if Saeran somehow regained only a part of his memories, there was a possibility that they’d have to go through the whole rehab from the beginning.

     Yet there you were. Ready to do literally anything to help him.

     Saeyoung looked at you once more, then nodded and opened the door.

     “Hello, brother~” he beamed. Saeran - as before - kept staring at the window. When you two entered, he turned his head right away, looking at him. You gulped, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

     “Hi...” He moved his gaze to have a better look on your silhoulette.. “Oh, it’s... you.”

     You raised your head, looking back at him. You knew the face he made, he was a bit confused, but curious. It seemed to be a good moment to at least start a talk...

     “[Name]” you said quietly. “I’m [Name].” You smiled softly. 

     Saeran nodded slowly, but the name sounded unfamiliar to him. 

     “I guess I should remember you...” he said slowly. “The doctors said I’ve lost a bit of... my past... You came here with my brother, so... w-were we close...?”

     Your heart clenched in your chest. The gentle smile he made was as uncomfortable and artificial as your own. Was it possible for you two to feel the same at this moment?

     “A-a bit...” you stuttered. Saeyoung laid his hand on your shoulder in a reassuring manner.

     “She’s our friend” he stated happily.

     “We... do have friends...?”

     “Yeah, a few” Saeyoung shrugged. “A lot happened. You’ll find out soon.”

     An idea suddenly popped in your head.

     “Hey, how about I bring some ice cream?” you offered, smiling as cheerfully as you could. “It’s hot here, wait a few minutes, I will be right back!” You almost managed to ran to the door, when...

     “NO!”

     You stopped instantly and turned around. 

     Saeran’s hand was in the air, reaching to you. His face suddenly covered in sweat.

     “W-what, why not...?” You frowned.

     “You... can’t go.”

     “But why...?”

     “It’s dangerous, you will...” He hesitated and let his hand drop onto his lap. You could tell, he was scared and yet, he didn’t know why. “I’m... sorry, I... don’t know, what happened...”

     But you already knew. Something clicked. His couldn’t recall it yet, but he knew that there was something.

     “Okay.” You smiled softly and came closer. “I will stay.”

     He nodded, calming down a bit. Saeyoung observed you two in silence for a moment.

     “I will go then” he grinned. “You’re right, it’s really hot!”

     You stared at him in shock as he just left, not waiting for anyone’s approval.

     That’s how you two were left alone.

     You stirred uncomfortably and sat down on a chair next to the bed. For a moment, you avoided his stare, but eventually gave up as he spoke.

     “You know why I reacted like this, don’t you?”

     Clever boy, you huffed. It was kind of embarrassing to tell him right now, but it couldn’t be helped.

     “You could say that... I’m the reason it happened to you” you admitted, feeling your stomach turn from the words spoken. Your nervousness kicked in, once again drowning you in guilt.

     “Is that... so?” He tilted his head to the side. “I can’t believe that. Tell me what happened, please.”

     Well, you never knew Saeran is able to say ‘please’ without either stuttering and blushing or looking like a mad psychopath. He looked surprisingly stable right now.

     “It’s... We were on a walk and it was pretty hot... so I told you that I’d go get some ice cream since... you always liked ice cream” you smirked, recalling the moment. “B-but... I wasn’t too wary and a car would hit me...” you looked up at him “...if it wasn’t you who pushed me away.”

     Saeran stared at you and you could swear that it lasted forever. As soon as the words were said, you instantly calmed down. He knew. Whatever was to happen now, you finally let it out.

     “I’m sorry” He said suddenly and your eyes widened. Was he sorry for...? “I’m sorry that I don’t remember you. You’re important to me, right? I feel so stupid now...”

     The door opened and a nurse stepped in.

     “I’m sorry, but the visits are over for today. We need to take care of the patient. Please, come back tomorrow.”

     You nodded and stood up.

     “Good bye, Saeran...” you said and left. You could still feel his eyes on your back, until the door closed behind you.

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     “Are you sure he’s fine now?”

     “Well, we can’t help him anymore” the doctor stated, smiling slightly. “His family is the only one who can help him recover. He still has to take the medicine, so don’t forget to make sure he does... For some reason, he’s really unwilling to take anything, we almost had to force him to take it... Well, anyway, he will need to be examined once a while so let us know if anything peculiar happens. He still may have some headaches and will need to rest a lot, bu if he happens to faint, make sure to put him to bed. And if it happens more often, bring him back here. Okay?”

     Saeyoung listened, trying to memorize every single remark. He almost couldn’t believe it was over five weeks now. Saeran’s ribs were almost completely healed by now, but his brain was, after all, damaged. The memory wouldn’t come back, it only striked once a while, just like when he didn’t want to take the medicine, even if he wasn’t exactly sure, why.

     He walked back into the room and spotted no one but you helping Saeran change.

     “Is that really mine...?” The boy asked doubtfully, staring at his leather jacket.

     You smirked, a bit amused by his frown.

     “I guess you didn’t like it, but you don’t have anything else and it’s already getting cold outside, so you have no choice.”

     “It doesn’t even match my hair...”

     “It would if you dyed it back to white.”

     “...I had white hair?”

     “Didn’t you notice? I cut them a few days ago as it were too long. Didn’t you see it was white?”

     “Didn’t watch.”

     “Guessed so...”

     “W-wait, w-what is it?” he stuttered, looking at the other thing in your hand. 

     You raised the thing, staring at it for a while.

     “It must have been tangled with the jacket. I figured you wouldn’t want to wear it now, I brought it by accident.”

     “It’s a fucking collar!”

     “Well, you used to wear it before.”

     “Am I a dog or something...?”

     “Wouldn’t complain if you were.”

     “N-nasty” he muttered, looking away.

     You stared at him for a moment.

     “Are you sure you don’t want to put it on? It could... remind you of something...”

     “I don’t want to.”

     “Okay. I will wear it then.”

     “W-what...”

     You smirked playfully, wrapping the choker around your neck and connecting the ends. It was a bit loose, falling almost to your collarbones, as the previous owner was obviously better built at this point.

     Saeran stared at you, his cheeks tainting light pink as you smiled widely.

     “Does it suit me?”

     “...Take it off.”

     You pouted and did as said, throwing the choker into your bag so that it wouldn’t get lost.

     “I think it looked meowous on you, [Name]” Saeyoung said, patting your back.

     “Meow your own business, Saeyoung” you mumbled, a bit embarrassed now.

     “Ya ready, brother~?”

     Saeran nodded.

     “Let’s go.”

     Saeyoung’s place was - for Saeran - something completely unfamiliar. No memories appeared when you three entered the house, everything seemed to be new. You really hoped he’d at least instinctively recall where which room is, but it didn’t happen, you had to explain everything from the beginning.

     “That’s my room...?” he asked.

     You smiled sheepishly. It used to be your room too.

     “Yeah. Do you like it?”

     “Not bad, I guess.”

     “It... changed a bit after the accident, so... I guess you could really not recall it as it is now.” Were you trying to comfort him? Or were you trying to comfort yourself...?

     “Why was it different?”

     “...”

     “Hey, the dinner is ready!” Saeyoung’s voice reached you and you turned around, almost running to the kitchen. All to not have to explain it.

     You mentally slapped yourself. It was getting harder and harder to pretend that you two were only friends. It’s been almost three weeks since he met you for the ‘first time’. It was visible that he quickly became more comfortable in your presence and it wasn’t even that difficult to act like this. But...

     You didn’t want to lie to him. And Saeyoung also was aware you couldn’t push it like this forever. 

     But... what if he actually rejected you? Telling him that you were his girlfriend was almost like a confession. What if he didn’t even like you now...? Without all his memories, the bond between you two didn’t exist. Right now, he knew only as much as he found out through those three weeks. Nothing more.

     He didn’t feel anything towards you. It’s possible that he wouldn’t even simply believe that you two used to be that close.

     Just like everyone said - you had to wait.

     It was the third day. Saeran woke up early with a headache. Sleeping in the room next to his, you could hear him wriggling in the bedsheets. The noise woke you up and you stood up dizzily. You didn’t sleep well lately and so, being woken up after a mere few hours of bad dreams wasn’t the best way to make you fully conscious.

     You knocked to his door.

     “Saeran, are you okay...?”

     A muffled whine raeched your ears and you decided to enter.

     He was curled in the sheets, covered in sweat. He wasn’t sleeping, but his body shook as his hands reached his ears, covering them as if he was trying to avoid some annoying noise.

     “Saeran...?” You came closer carefully, not wanting to startle him. “Saeran, what’s wrong...?”

     He turned his head, looking at you. He was panting heavily and you could see tears in his eyes.

     “Your head... hurts again?” you asked and he nodded. “Wait a moment, I will bring the pills.”

     You rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the medicine the doctor gave you. Along with a cup of water, you came back to Saeran’s room.

     He was sitting now, arms wrapped around his legs and face buried in his knees.

     You sat on the edge of the bed.

     “I brought the pills. How are you feeling?”   

     He shrugged, not saying anything. You only sighed.

     “The doctor said you need to take them, it’s not only about the headache, so...”

     “I won’t take them.”

     “Huh...?” You frowned. “Saeran...”

     “Get out.”

     Your eyes widened slightly, but you didn’t move.

     “Saeran, you need to...”

     “I said get out!” he glared at you. “I won’t take any pills so get the fuck out of my sight.”

     You flinched, but weren’t going to give up. 

     “At least drink some water, you’ll feel bet-”

     “Are you dumb or something?!” 

     You shivered at the tone of his voice. It was unpleasant. You knew this tone very well. For the past few months you really thought you’d never get to hear it again...

     “Saeran, please, calm down...”

     “Stop fucking saying my name!” You didn’t move. You were paralyzed by fear. Pills still in your hand, the cup in the other. The water quivered as your body trembled suddenly. “I don’t want to hear it... It’s terrible...”

     “What...?” You were utterly confused.

     “It sounds almost like his... It’s all his fault”

     Your eyes widened.

     “Y-you mean S-Saeyoung...?”

     “DON’T EVEN FUCKING MENTION HIS NAME!” 

     You didn’t even see it coming. Your vision went black for a few seconds as a sudden impact threw you back. The cup broke on the floor next to you as you dropped it, but it was the least important thing right now. 

     You landed on the floor and for a few seconds were too stunned to even know what happened.

     And when you realized that Saeran just hit you, you looked up at him. He stood up and was going towards you. You instantly curled up on the floor, burying your face in your hands. As much as you wanted to stay calm, you couldn’t help but panicked. You knew way too well how bad it may end...

     You completely didn’t know what to do though. Your cheek was throbbing in pain. You closed your eyes tightly, preparing yourself for anything that would come next.

     “...”

     He was standing in front of you. You could sense it, he was so close. You could almost hear his rapid breath, but he didn’t say a word.

     Instead, after a moment, he backed away. You curiously uncovered your eyes.

     He looked so scared now...

     “Why... did I do this...?” he asked, his eyes watering up. He tripped over the edge of the bed and fell onto the mattress. The surrounding him aura changed in a second. There was no rage anymore, no hate. Only fear. “I can’t... I can’t recall this but... W-what’s wrong with me...” He hid his face in his hands, his shoulders trembling.

     You carefully stood up, unsure what to do. Everything told you to go and comfort him. But you couldn’t ignore the fact that he could snap again any moment... 

     Damn, why isn’t Saeyoung here? He would for sure know what to do...

     You came closer, recalling all the things you had to bear with during his previous rehab. You knew not to touch him unless he lets you, but at the same time, you couldn’t let him feel alone. What’s the most important, you had to be careful. Not only for him, but for yourself. 

     “Don’t... come closer” he whispered, obviously sensing your presence. 

     “Why not...?”

     “I will... hurt you.”

     “Do you want to hurt me...?”

     “No...” His voice creaked.

     “So just don’t do this.” You carefully sat next to him and wiped the blood from your cheek.

     “I don’t understand... He’s my brother, he’s always been with me... Why do I hate him now...?”

     You sighed quietly.

     “A lot of... bad things happened. I guess that... until you recall everything, you may feel this way...”

     “Did he... leave me? Please, tell me what happened, I need to know...”

     He looked at you with teary eyes. You’ve never heard so much despair in his voice. And you felt that you shouldn’t tell him about it yet, which meant that you were torn apart... and it hurt. You didn’t know what to do.

     “I don’t think I'm the right person to tell you about this...”

     “But you’re the only person I trust now... I’m...” His eyes widened, as he seemed to suddenly realize what he did just mere moments ago. “I-I’m sorry, your face...”

     “D-does it look that bad?” you panicked a bit, looking around to find a mirror. 

     “W-well...”

     You sighed, smiling softly at his confused frown.

     “Hey, I literally owe you my life. If some wounds will be a result of helping you out, let’s say I’m fine with it.”

     And he smiled back. You almost sighed with relief. The smile was slight and weak, but calm. You could feel your heart warm up at this sight. It was okay now. 

     “You said...” He suddenly seemed to recall something. “When it happened, you said we were on a walk... Did you mean that...” He cleared his throat, looking away awkwardly “...that we were on a date...?”

     Your face instantly heatened up. But there was no point in hiding it anymore.

     “...M-maybe...?”

     “...” He shyly looked at you again. “S-so we... were t-that close...”

     “W-well...”

     “It must have been terrible for you...” he said quietly, looking down. “Sorry for not realizing it sooner...”

     You shrugged slightly.

     “It’s not your fault...”

     “You think?” He closed his eyes tiredly. “It’s so frustrating...”

     You suddenly glanced at the window. It was already morning.

     “We should go back to sleep. Espacially you. Does your head still hurt?”

     He shook his head.

     “No, it’s okay now.” He hesitated a bit, his eyes never looking away from yours. “You’re right. We should go back to sleep.”

     You wanted to stand up, but he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you down onto the mattress. 

     “...?!” 

     “Good night” he mumbled, already closing his eyes.

     “W-wait, but...”

     “What? Can’t I even sleep with my girlfriend?” His eyebrow wiggled and you couldn’t help but blush madly. Was he even serious now...?

     “...”

     “Sleep well, princess.”

     Your eyes widened and heart beat faster.

     Princess.

     You smiled softly.

     “Sleep well, my edgeboy.”

     “... How the fuck did you just call me...?”

    ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

I’ve decided to cut it here. It’s already long as hell and I’m not even sure how many of you reached the damn end;; I realized that anything that would happen later, wouldn’t be as important as what I’ve already described and it would kind of kill the tension. 

And uh... Please, any feedback will be appreciated. It was the longest english thing I’ve ever written so I really need to know what should I work on.

I figured that angst isn’t the best birthday gift but we all love angst don’t we?

[saeranlover]

1 to 99 for... iseul?

1... to... 99.... oh my god-

I’ll put it under a keep reading thing, because, uh... This is gonna be long...

1. What do they smelllike?

Iseul likes any sort of soap which smells sweet or sugary,so she often smells sweet – most commonly of raspberries or strawberries, asthey’re her favourite fruits.

2. What is theirvoice like?

She’s rather quiet, and at times, her voice is rather shakyas she doesn’t like talking to people. However, when she is talking to friendsand family, she’s quite a bit louder.

3. What is theirbiggest motivator?

Her biggest motivator is her family – specifically her papa,Saeran.

4. What is their mostembarrassing memory?

Being caught trying out her uncle’s maid outfits - she tendsto do that in secret, and prefers not having anyone witness it.

5. How do they dealwith/react to pain?

She doesn’t like pain. At all. She’ll have a breakdown inresponse to it, and cry for comfort from Saeran, or at the very least, Saeyoung(or, if Saeran is a Mint Eye member, from Rika.)

6. What do they liketo wear?

She likes to wear mostly dark colours – dark blue jeans,dark grey shoes, and a grey sweater which she only has pulled over one shoulder(kinda like the thing Sae does with his leather jacket), but also wears a pinkvest top underneath. Speaking of Saeran’s leather jacket, she wears that attimes for comfort. She will sometimes wear a variety of dresses at times, herfavourite one being a deep red summer dress.

7. Which of theirrelationships have impacted them most positively?

Honestly, the one with Saeran. It taught her that sheshouldn’t try to be bitter about things from the past, or else she would becomevengeful and angry… And she didn’t want her dad or uncle to witness anythinglike Saeran when he was still going by Unknown again.

8. What’s theweirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Anything that Saeyoung makes. Any food her uncle makes isweird to her.

9. Describe the waythat they sleep.

Very broken, very restless. She can’t keep still for thesake of things, and most often, she will only manage two to three hours ofsleep a night. She’s a very tired person because of that.

10. What is theirfavorite food/kind of food?

Sweet stuff, like her dad. However, chocolate chip muffinsare her favourite food, rather than ice cream like him.

11. What do they feelmost insecure about?

Iseul feels most insecure about her social anxiety. But shecan’t stand people, so it’s just a vicious cycle.

12. How do they liketo dress?

See question 6.

13. How do they reactto feelings of guilt?

She won’t physically react. She’ll stop responding to thingsand not do anything about it… But it will dwell and dwell and dwell in her headuntil she has an outburst.

14. How do they reactto/deal with betrayal?

It’s painful to her, and makes her angry to the point thatshe yells things that she doesn’t mean.

15. What is theirgreatest achievement?

Using some of her hacking knowledge to hack into the C&Rwebsite and make it about puppies.

And blaming her uncle for it.

16. What are theylike when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Yawns a lot, and has a tendency to mumble “Tired…” beforeforgetting that she said it, and mumbles it again.

17. What are theylike when they’re drunk?

Issy isn’t old enough to drink, and never will drink becauseof stories she was told about what her grandmother was like.

18. What kind ofmusic do they enjoy?

Instrumental music, and film/game soundtracks.

19. Are they right orleft handed?

She’s ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

She has quite a few… Her main one is leaving places whichshe sees as her ‘safe haven’ (either her home or Mint Eye, depending on whatSaeran’s affiliation is). She also fears abandonment and crowds.

21. Favorite kind ofweather?

Heavy rain. The sound of the rain reassures her and keepsher calm.

22. Favorite color?

Grey

23. Do they collectanything?

No, she doesn’t really. She doesn’t see much point incollecting things unless it holds some sort of sentimental value to her.

24. Do they prefereither hot or cold weather more?

She prefers the cold, because she likes being able to layerherself up in clothes.

25. What is their eyecolor?

Depending on Saeran’s affiliation, it’s either golden yellowor mint green.

26. What is theirrace/ethnicity?

Korean

27. Hair color?

Red, with the tips dyed black by her dad.

28. Are they happywhere they are currently?

As long as she has her dad, she’s happy. He is the oneconstant in her life.

29. Are they a morningperson?

She’s not. She isn’t really a any time person, honestly.Lol.

30. Sunrise orsunset?

Sunrise. She enjoys daylight, so she likes to see thesunrise.

31. Are they moremessy or more organized?

She’s organised, because she doesn’t like holding onto muchstuff anyway.

32. Pet peeves?

When people don’t finish their sentences. She hates beingleft to try and think how they would have ended the sentences.

33. Do they own anyobjects of significant personal importance?

She possesses a necklace, given to her by either the RFA orRika, depending on where Saeran is. It means a lot to her, as she got it forher 15th birthday. She also has a laptop which is second hand, butshe cares for it almost as though it’s her own child.

34. Least favoritefood?

Anything with pasta or mushrooms.

35. Least favoritecolor?

Blue

36. Least favoritesmell?

Burning

37. When was the lasttime they cried?

After having a nightmare where she was all alone, being leftto fend for herself.

38. Were they withanybody the last time they cried?

No, she was in her bedroom.

39. Tell us about oneof the times they got injured?

Iseul was about ten years old when she was allowed to dobaking on her own for the first time. She was excited about it, and was quitejumpy as she got the ingredients together. However… She spilled some of thecake mixture at one point. She didn’t realise it, and she tried to run over tothe fridge to get some strawberries to put on the top. She slipped on the mix,and fractured her ankle in the process. Didn’t stop her from finishing makingthe cakes and baking in the future though.

40. Do they have anyscars?

She doesn’t like doing dangerous things, so she doesn’t havetoo many. However, if she’s with Mint Eye… She’s a bit more of a risk taker,and possesses more small scars.

41. Do they strugglewith any mental health issues?

She has anxiety, and though she does try to deny it, sheshows signs of depression too.

42. Do they have anybad habits?

She tends to pick at her fingernails and toenails, and shealso can’t be left near scissors as she has a slight tendency to give her haira few small cuts… And leaves her hair in a mess.

43. Why might someonedislike them?

Her outright refusal to leave her home unless she wants to.

44. Why might someonelove them?

She’s very affectionate, and would bake for them all thetime.

45. Do they believein ghosts?

Yep, she’s scared that her grandmother’s ghost is hauntingher because of the ‘mystery’ bruises which form on her sometimes overnight, butdoesn’t realise that it’s because of how restless she is at night.

46. Is there anyonethey would trust with their lives?

Her dad, and depending on the situation, her uncle.

47. Are theyromantically interested in anyone?

Not really. She doesn’t exactly experience romance untilshe’s close enough to somebody.

48. Are theydating/married to anyone?

She’s the girlfriend of one of my other OCs, Cheol Kim. (Funfact: I rp as Iseul in a server, and my husband rps as Cheol- Even thoughthey’re kiiiiinda in an on-off relationship because Cheol is yandere as heck attimes.)

49. Do they likesurprises?

Nope. She’ll likely punch anyone who tries to surprise her.

50. When is theirbirthday?

August 29th

51. How do theyusually celebrate their birthday?

With cake and ice cream!

52. Do they have anyfamily?

Her dad Saeran; her uncle 707/Saeyoung; her mother(deceased), and if 707 has children she has cousins.

53. Are they close totheir family?

Family means EVERYTHING to her. She’d be lost without herfamily.

54. What is theirMBTI type?

INFJ

55. What is theirzodiac sign?

Virgo

56. What HogwartsHouse would they be in?

Hufflepuff or Slytherin, depends on her upbringing.

57. What D&Dalignment are they?

Either neutral evil or chaotic good?

58. Do they ever havenightmares? If so, what about?

Isolation or death, and sometimes, of her dad and uncle’spast.

59. What are theirviews on death?

It’s terrifying, but some people deserve it.

60. What is somethingthat they’re sure to laugh at?

Dumb injuries, like the ones they have in clip shows andstuff.

61. When bored, howdo they pass time?

Playing games or hacking. She isn’t too good at hackingthough, so it’s most often gaming. She will bake at times too.

62. Do they enjoybeing outside?

NOPE.

63. Do they have anaccent?

Not really, she’s got a bit of a neutral one.

64. Upon seeing aslice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

“If there is no note saying not to eat it, I’m gonna eat it.Actually, I’ll eat it anyway.”

65. If they knew theywere going to die, what would they do/say?

“Papa… C- Can I hug you until it’s over…?”

66. How do they feelabout sex?

She doesn’t really care for it, but if she feels comfortableenough in a relationship and if she’s old enough, she’d be down for it.

67. What is theirsexuality?

Demisexual.

68. Do they becomesqueamish at the sight of blood?

Yes. She is horrified at the mere sight of it.

69. Is there anythingthat they find really gross?

Salty food.

70. Which TV Trope(s)best describes them?

The person who locks themselves up in their room doingcomputer stuff lol

71. Do they enjoyhelping people?

Not really, she doesn’t like people.

72. Are they allergicto anything?

Pollen – another reason why she prefers the cold, herhayfever doesn’t flare up as much.

73. Do they have apet?

No.

74. Are they quick toanger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

She can lose her temper pretty quickly, and has a tendencyto say “I’ll fuck you up” when in a bad mood.

75. How patient arethey?

Somewhat. Depends on what she’s waiting for.

76. Are they good atcooking?

Yes, and she enjoys doing it too.

77. Favorite insult?Do they insult people often?

“Stop speaking with your ass instead of your mouth, ‘causeyou’re talking shit.”

78. How do they actwhen they’re particularly happy?

She’s very smile-y and hums a lot. She’ll also share her sweet treats.

79. What do they dowhen they learn about other people’s fears?

She’ll do anything to save people from going through orbeing met with their fears, because she understands what it feels like to bescared.

80. Are theytrustworthy?

Yep, as long as you’re on her good side.

81. Do they try tohide their emotions? Are they good at it?

She isn’t good at hiding her emotions at all, so she’ll hidein her room in an attempt to hide it.

82. Do they exerciseregularly?

Does running up and down the stairs for food often count asregular exercise?

83. Are theycomfortable with the way they look?

Sometimes.

84. What are somephysical features that they find attractive on people?

She really likes long fingers, because she’s spent a lot ofher life on a computer and seeing her dad doing things like typing, so handsare the first thing she focusses in on and looks at. She also likes eyes.

85. What kind ofpersonalities do they find attractive?

Sensitive, understanding personalities.

86. Do they likesweet foods?

Sweet foods are her life.

87. What is theirage?

16 typically when I portray her. Sometimes 18, sometimesabout 5. Lol.

88. Are they tall orshort or somewhere in between?

Somewhere inbetween.

89. Do they wearglasses or contacts?

Both. It depends on whether she’s bothered to put thecontacts in.

90. Do they considerthemselves attractive?

Not really.

91. What is theirsense of humor like?

Somewhat dark. She finds it funny when people hurtthemselves, etc.

92. What mood arethey most often in?

She’s often bored, or in the mood to try and tease people.

93. What kinds ofthings anger them?

Her family being threatened, bad internet connection,arguments over petty things, being told that she has to go outside at somepoint.

94. Outlook on life?

She just thinks that as long as she’s accomplished anythingat some point, her life will have been worthwhile.

95. What kind ofthings make them sad/depressed?

Seeing her family upset, people closest to her telling hertruths that she wants to deny (aka what I said before – being told that she hasto go outside at some point.)

96. What is theirgreatest weakness?

Her low stamina, she can’t do too much before becomingexhausted and incapacitated.

97. What is thegreatest strength?

Her adaptability to new technology.

98. Something thatthey regret?

Not wanting to leave her room for weeks on end after hermother’s death.

99. Biggestaccomplishment?

Sneaking into her uncle’s costume closet right under hisnose to try on his outfits.

Wow, this is so long.... Hahahaha........

[tsundere-eevee]

Hi! I was just wondering, do you happen to have any fic recs for Persona 5? Like ones where Akira's the center of attention, he's hurt, he's got a Palace, etc etc? o:

My dude, do I have some recs for you! Although, I don’t know if you’re okay with shipping or just general- 

SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5 SO BE WARNED

Behind the Mask - where Akira has a palace and it’s up to his friends to steal the treasure. It doesn’t specify, but it takes place after 11/20! Honestly, I love this piece to death because it’s one of the fics where it shows how much they cherish Akira.

Aftermath - where after the interrogation, it shows what happened afterwards. I honestly love this fic since it shows that Akira didn’t recover as fast as it shows in the game lord knows how much I wanted to see the squad take care of him.

Eager to Please - is kinda short, but so so good! Post game, where the gang greets Akira (who is mute) a happy birthday in sign language! It means a lot to me since I too use sign language.

Definition of Home - HONESTLY THIS FIC- It hasn’t updated in a month but the chapters are HELLA long. It’s Akira centric, and how he feels within the months that follow the events of the game. I love this and I always check for a update- I hope you like it too!

Something I Need - Ahaha, it’s a Shukita fic, but it takes place after the interrogation, and how Akira has to cope with the psychological aftermath of it, or at least a snippet of it. It’s really good!

Adoptions - It’s in Sojiro’s POV, but god is it good. Basically, his views on Akira as the months go by.

Outside Looking In - The aftermath of the interrogation scene, but told in Sojiro’s and Sae’s POV- and then they have small omakes at the end which are good stuff

Under the Blood Soaked Mask - GOD DO I LOVE THIS ONE. It’s a Akira/Makoto fic, and I love how it shows how much Akira is affected by the interrogation scene, and also adding on the fact they specifically wrote it to show that before they went into his palace, Akira was suffering from depression. 

Forgiveness - Okay real talk about the fusing scenes in the Velvet room- I would be crying and begging Arsene for forgiveness too.

With No Respect For the Warning - Another after Interrogation fic- it’s equal parts focusing on Akira and equal parts focusing on Sojiro, good stuff.

Oasis in a Singed Land - This Akira has a Palace fic is waaay different from Behind the Mask and Under a Blood Soaked Mask- for one, it shows and utilizes the fact that Akira is a blank slate for the players to use (even with the personality he shows in game). Also, Joker and Akira have a symbiotic relationship in this one (They kiss and stuff so if that weirds you out then be aware but this is a good fic I promise)

If you were hoping to raise a crook, then you should be very proud - Another drabble, but it focuses on Akira’s parents (and the relationship they have with Akira). Gotta say, it hurts to read because of how mean his dad is ;;

Monsooned Malabar - Another Dad! Sojiro fic. Where he and Akira are spending time together with coffee in the last few months of the game.

Hanahaki Crisis - Okay, another Shukita fic- but honestly, it’s sO SO GOOD GIVE IT A GO PLS

Level 99 - Another Shukita fic, about Yusuke visiting AKira after he’s gone home and doesn’t know how to proceed onwards after the disappearance of the Metaverse. Honestly this fic helped me since I was graduating near the time thiw was released pls pls read it.

Muse - I know you asked for Akira centric fics but I can’t help but sneak this rec in- it’s one of my favorite fics of all time, since Yusuke is given a better situation than living at the dorms and starving all the time. If you haven’t please read this- this author is so good at writing.

Also I’m going to direct you to Quibbels here- Their fics are great and I implore you to read all their fics!!That’s all the fics I can think of rn oops. I hope you find one to your liking, Anon!