#i like men who can kill me so whAAAAAt

[bakatenshii]

no context 3am dragging (me through the pits of hell)

@theygottheircages ?!?????

[akilikesbread]

quotes from watching trigun stampede with my friends so SPOILERS:

“Bro he even falls zestily” (in reference to wolfwood)

“oh cool flashback” “more like a VASHBACK am i right? ZINGER” “kys.”

“my lawyers have advised me to not discuss what i would do to his stupid fluffy blonde hair”

WW: “the big man upstairs made me strong” “The big man upstairs made me like people with wires and mandibles.”

*vashs arm gets sucked into a blackhole* “bro wtf, hollow purple”

“boy why you so 🪴”

“motherfucker so gay the cigarette bends the second it touches his mouth”

“this is just a documentary of california”

*BadLads gang shows up* “BL? Boys love? They kiss men?”

*Livio standing menacingly* “SANS???”

*in reference to eye of Michael* “Why’s their logo literally new mexico”

*Legato appearance* “blue hair AND PRONOUNS??” “whats with daman mills and voicing gay men”

*Woowoo getting tortured* “theyre injecting 🏳️‍🌈 into his bloodstream”

*First wolfwood appearance* “He better hit people with that fucking cross”

“he looks hot when hes troubled”

*In reference to Rosa* “If pregnant lady dies i’m leaving the call

“OH MY GOD HES REDPILLED.” “Vashed and redpilled”

“Tricum stampede”

*we were watching on an illegal site so it kept opening new tabs* “AHHHH PORN”

*wolfwood gets fucking bent in half by legato* “Bro where can i get a massage like that”

“Roberto looks like. hold on.” The image sent:

“if the animation was a person i’d make out with them sloppy style. with tongue.”

*in Rollo’s old town with the biblical radio shit* “Guys this sounds just like something my bus driver would say”

*zazie turns into a swarm* “would you still love me if i was a worm :(“

“vash’s mom is pretty” “i’m gonna stop you right there.”

*vash.* “LOOK AT HIS SLUTTY WAIST”

“yeah nai just really liked taking out arms this episode”

*knives playing the piano in the distance* “IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER😨😨😨”

EG Bomber: “MASTER KNIVES😈” my friend in the zestiest voice ever: “master😳”

Vash: *reloading* “THATS SO FUCKING HOOOOTTT” “i wish i was that gun.”

*wolfwood gets fucking run over* “i think hes my new favorite character”

*vash getting chased by the residents of jenora rock* “california has never looked livelier”

“Call me Millions Knives.” “edgy ass emo name, he sounds like hes a 13 year old emo who listens to panic at the disco and cries himself to sleep at night.”

“is this prophetic stress dream bothering you queen”

“i wish Californian sand looked as good here, dont eat the californian sand, its chunky”

*conrad appears* “LUIGI???”

“so this is julai…” “its still may dude, idk how to tell you this”

*Julai screenpan.* “THIS IS JUST VEGAS.”

*wolfwood and vash running away* “me when i skeddadle”

*vash gets shot and walks away* “bros like ‘damn i just got shot :(‘“

“Nicholas the Punisher.” “he can punish me if he wants I MEAN WHAAAAAT”

*That Roberto Scene™️* “*through tears* SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE SHOW?”

*Knives dramatically playing piano* “You and that fuckin church organ.”

“5gum stampede”

“Why is nai so jacked???” “theyre both built like brick shithouses”

*Meryl points a gun at conrad* “KILL YOURSELF OLD MAN.”

“WHYS NAI CLENCHING HIS ASS SO HARD…”

“Vash wake up!!” “THIS ISNT LIKE YOU POOKIE”

*Wolfwood steals one last cigarette from Roberto* “Rare cigarette that wasnt fucked up”

“WHO CUT THEIR HAIR.” “Xinqiu.” “Yelan ass haircuts.”

*talking about vash* “hes such a shonen protag. Food friendship and (avoiding) fighting”

“Knives, ur literally gay. i dont wanna hear it.”

“The entrance to the higher plane!” “it looks like a butthole.”

*Knives fucking just floating into the higher dimension* “*cackling*” “WHY HE SLIDE LIKE THAAAT” “stone scraping sound effect”

“Vash shouldve been called damian”

“Prepare mentally for episode twelve, take a deep breath, take a sip of water-“ “KISS A MAN” “DONT KISS A MAN” “KISS A MAN!!!”

*start of episode twelve.* “surely this wont be horrifying”

“I promise to protect you both.” “well you really sucked at that, huh.” “yeah fuck you rem” “HELP???”

*looks at Nai* “Whys he wearing a speedo…”

*Red geranium sprouts in tint Vash’s hand* “NAI LOOK DO YOU WANNA SEE A MAGIC TWICK”

*Running through field of red geraniums* “this reminds me of the angry birds logo”

“metal wing?” “its made of knives, yk, like his name :D” “shut up.” “alright then.”

*chanting* “CUBE!!!!”

“HES GONNA STAMPEDE!!!”

“kiss my vash!!”

[lunati0ns]

of one mind liveblog pt. 1

i saw someone putting all of their new acofaf reactions in one big post instead of a million small ones so im doing that instead ok? ok

EPITHETS!!!!!!

THE STATUESQUE.. theyre so handsome. so princely. so classically romantic. im proud of them

the formidable >:} so cool my dad so cool

THE TRUE. cute. haaaah it rhymes and also makes me teary. i love them so extremely much

oscar out here starting rumors SPECIFICALLY to make hob angry. why. just so rue can see him growl and make them blush? HM?

"and who started that rumor." "[immediately] i don't know." "....." "....... it was me ;}"

love that lou and emily are here SPECIFICALLY to make more drama i appreciate their roles so much. what would we do without them

WHAAAAT!!! HOB!!! WHAAAAT?! WHAT! WHAT! HOB?! MY GOD MAN. HOOOOOB?! oh my god he doesnt know... he has no way of knowing... OH MY GOD!!!! HOW CAN WE COME BACK FROM THIS BATTLEMASTER OF CEREMONIES!!!! oh hes not apart of it. dear god. AUUUUGH!!

brennan: [makes a emotions grenade] [hands it to the goblins] ok pull the pin

RAISES MY EYEBROW THE ANDHERA RUMORS? ',:0?! what does it mean what does it all mean what will be the implications of this. omg.

dont remind me we only have five episodes left PAIN

hob kill rumor? KILLS ANDHERA'S BAD RUMORS :( I LOVE THEM?! AND FUCKS UP HIS SISTERS REP AHAAAAA!!! goblin unseelie ALLIANCE!!!

epistolary phase. kicks my feet on my bed lovingly. literally everyone whos ever read my shit knows im a WHORE for these tropes,

illusory script letters ',:}}}}}} ;}}} ALVEN TIME. FIRST NAMES! i fan myself. chooch time. wow a sext. SQUAK'S A BOTTOM, CONFIRMED!!!! inspiration deserved

everytime hob writes a letter im like [heavy breathing] TO RUE? and every time its not. pain

oh squak's in trouble lol lmao lol lmao l--

OH A BEES IN MY SKIRT AND I LIKE IT

SQUAK... because he is LOWBORN. DEAR GOD. JEEEEEEZUS LOU.

STOP. NO. STOP. CHIRP. NAUR! ST. NO. STOP. QUIT IT NOW. STOP THIS oh okay its fine. oh my fucking god i thought she would pretend like it was a note from hob. im still throwing up though

binx letters :) :) binx binx<3

oh they Brought the goblin pagoda. thats cute. they built it all in ten minutes in a looney tunes tasmania devil style whirlwind dirt blur

[suddenly stricken by terrible realization] "oh grandpa's here. grandpa dog."

EUGH HE TALKS

:D hob and binx :D!

its literally so sad how binx has no attendants. no ones taking care of her...

HOBS SO WEIRD AND INTIMIDATING. I LOVE HIM

oh my god we're in for such a dynamic with hob and binx ohoohoohOO

SENDING FROM FUCKING REAL GWYN?! WHAT?! GIRL WHAT WAS TH oh 25 word limit. you scared the BITCH OUTTA ME!!

I LOOOOVE binxs moth wing liminal space magic way too much. tickles me. im teeheeing

omg is rue going to go to the planning meeting as an owlbear... omg they'll be so huge sitting at a little table delicately drinking tea...

i love how whenever oscar dots a ps at the end of a letter the ENTIRE TABLE gasps now

im scared for rue w this meeting... theyre so vulnerable after their reveal... are they even bringing an ally... what if they get pranked :(

UNTIL THE TIDE HAS RECEDED THAT YOU SEE THE WONDERS THAT WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME? STOP... M'HEART FLUTTERS... hes SO???? I DONT EVEN LIKE MEN. HES SO GOOD AT THIS AND SO STUPID

NOT THEIR FUCK UP LETTER TO CHIRP. AAAAAAAAH ITS ALL SHENANIGANS ALL THE TIME FUCK SHIT!!! GIRL HEEEEELP

FUCKING GRANDFATHER?!?!

IM ALREADY ENGAGED. WALK IT BACK.

she was courting me.... squak getting girlbossed? THEYRE IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP. WAH WAH! HE DOESNT LOVE HER. IM DEEPLY BETRAYED. HES SHOPPING AROUND! GIVE HER TO ME INSTEoh my god? SHES MARRIED??!!?!?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!??!?!

THE TWISTS!!! THE TWISTS AND TURNS!!!!!

YOU HAVE A CHIIIIILD?!??!?!

SHES HALF FUCKING MORTAL. OH MY GOOOOOD. HIS-- OH MY GOOOOD? YOU STUPID-- WHAAAAAT!!! THATS WHY SHES A KENKU!!!!!!

WELL NOW WE HAVE TO KILL THE BUTLER. IM SO GLAD ME AND EMILY HAD THE SAME THOUGHT. THAT DUMB DOUBLE CROSSING TRAITOR BITCH

oh hes just stupid. or is he. shoots him with insights beam. you looked like such a SNITCH right then bub

im sorry that i forced you to back it up. im sorry you were throwing major ass without your consent

UUGUH THE MUSIC. I LOVE. VIOLIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!

wah wah keeping each others secrets... theyre family...

SHES IN LOOOOOOOVE!!! SHE MATES FOR LIFE!!!

chirp matchmaker moment? chirp ENGINEERS BATTLEMASTER OF CEREMONIES MOMENT?

is that their name... i like it... bird family so CUUUUTE. i enjoy everything about your person because they make you happy..

hob: [forced polite chortles] anyways,

brennan's hob voice is so cool but has the capacity to be so silly too. so growly. the gravitas! i like it

petrified with terror at hob's guard dog vibes. feel like a mouse under a flashlight beam. WHO IS HE TALKING ABOOOOOUT!!!!!

oh my god is binx going to bring rue as their second. :deadjulian:

salt goblin: well. youre an orphan. so

binx @ social situation: i get it. DEFINITELY. I GET IT! [doesn't get it]

YAAAAAAAS BINX RUE HOB ANDHERA IN THE SAME ROOOOOOOM!!!!!

we're in rue segment wheres wuvvy please please please PLEASE,

i loooove the cousins constant running commentary

ohh is binx an arcane trickster.. wait thats so cute... I CHECKED THE WIKI SHE IS. WAAAAH! only the tiniest bit of magic :(

"are you flirting with me?" "no im not. sir?"

SOMEONES GOTTA FUCK A SALT GOBLIN

"my dear your WINGS ARE SHOWING?" what a difference in genres. binxs in a comedy and rues in a period drama. theyre so cute

will rue WILLINGLY GO TO THIS MEETING?! WITH HOB?!

BINX AND RUE I THINK YOURE MY BEST FRIEND THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!! THEY MET A WEEK AGO. BINX YOU IMPRINTED ON THE FIRST PRETTY OWLBEAR YOU SAW LIKE A LITTLE DUCKLING

we've gotta start killing people in this campaign guys. i love you ms axford

pov rue eats the salt goblin

IT WOULDVE BEEN SO CUTE IF RUE HAD ROLLED A 1 ON INTIMIDATION THOUGH. FUCK. but i like that they're scary

oh my gosh theyre best FRIIIIEEENDS

you have to KILL this goblin

rue literally debby ryaning their feathers at hob's mention. cmon. youre GAY

oscar's nails are pretty

college au where rues a popular senior and they scruff binx whos like a homeless sophmore and are like Youre Coming Home With Me. when they graduate with a degree in fucking idk a dynamite double of fashion and business law they move into an apartment and force binx to live on their couch because they like her (and also because she's Homeless. and an Orphan)

SEEING HIM MAKES OYU SWEATY... binx wiping their forehead. the fuck. i love them

omg binx with the good crush advice... SLEEPOVER VIBES

STOOOOP RUE YOU'LL KILL HIM HE'LL DIE!!! ',:3 but do it

SQUAK SCOOBY DOO RUNNING INTO THE KITCHEN. THE APPLE JUICE, ITS DEEP. ITS DEEP UNDERNEATH TH--

ANDHERA ZONE OF TRUTH. SHE FAAAILS!!!

ANDHERA BECOMES IN TEXT CANONICALLY ASEXUAL CONFIRMED MOMENT??

NO FUCKING WAY. MY STOMACH FUCKING SWOOPED. RUSH OF WARMTH. DEEPLY. NO WAY NO FUCKING WAAAY. OH MY GOOOOD? I THOUGHT SHE W. I THOUGHT SHE'D SAY NO. CHIRP???? WHERE AM I. OH MY GOOOD? im so fucking twisted at the TOWERS

JESUS CHRIIIIST. AUNTIE AND UNCLE. DISPEL MAGIC

wobble day drinking. king

FAKE DATING??!?! i need them to be in a polycule i can't take this

wuh oh cousins icarus fall imminent. the wax is melting bros

chirps so fucking tired bro

NO DONT MOVE ON GIRL WHAT WHAT WAS THAT!!!

omg... binx rue andhera hob in the same room.... bites my hands

not me tearing up over andhera hob real true friendship

stop... rue's so gentle with her... OH MY GOD THE BEST OF FRIENDS...

okay im running out of characters i cant shut up. im making a second part

[trashyswitch]

The Muddy War of The Twins

Young twins Roman and Remus are playing in the mud! It's King against Duke in a War against the Mud kingdoms. Which twin will be victorious? Or, will the twins become one kingdom?

Tickletober day 21: Playing Dirty

“I AM REMUS! DUKE OF MUDDY CASTLE!” Remus shouted, standing on a pile of mud.

“WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT ME?!” Roman shouted, standing on another castle.

“You’re the king, silly! BOW DOWN TO THE KING OF DIRT STAIN!” Remus declared, bowing down himself as well.

Roman giggled and cheered. “Yes! Thank you, thank you all! As your new king, I will give you all farm jobs! So you can become rich!” Roman declared.

“Or, you all can join ME! Where you can become rich, WITHOUT working hard!” Remus declared right after him.

“But- you get to work with animals! What could be fun about NOT doing work? You’d get bored!” Roman reacted, feeling annoyed.

“Not if we have mud wars to start…” Remus replied as he made multiple mud balls. “I DECLARE WAR ON DIRT STAIN!” Remus shouted.

“COME ON, MEN! LET’S SHOW MUDDY CASTLE WHO’S THE #1 KINGDOM!” Roman shouted to his fake audience. Roman and Remus both let out loud war cries and started throwing mud balls at each other.

The creative twins were shirtless and completely drenched in mud! The mud ball war only made their muddy exterior even worse. Roman kept throwing mud balls at Remus’s chest and legs, while Remus was aiming for his chest and face! While Roman was well aware getting mud in the eyes really hurts, Roman was also aware of how strong he was! So, he could handle some muddy eyes!

It didn’t take long for the kingdom leaders to gang up on each other. “Surrender now, King!” Remus ordered.

“NEVER!” Roman shouted back.

“Then I shall unlock my most powerful weapon…” Remus warned.

Roman giggled as he went along with it. “oH nO! It CoUlDn’T bE…” Roman reacted.

“That’s right, King Roman…” Remus said with an evil giggle as he rolled up his mud-made sleeves, “Fear! My! FINGERS!” The Duke shouted.

Remus started squeezing Roman’s sides and tickling Roman’s belly button! “hehEHEHEHEY! NOHOHOHOT THIHIHIHIHIS!” Roman shouted.

“But of COURSE! The most evil of weapons MUST be used to take over your mud kingdom! My weapon? TICKLING!” Remus declared proudly.

Roman squealed and only squirmed around more in the mud. “REHEHEHEHEMUHUHUHUS! IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLEHEHEHES!” Roman laughed.

Remus gasped. “WhAaAaAt?! It’s not SuPpOsEd To TiCkLe! It’S sUpPoSeD to HuRt!” Remus reacted sarcastically.

Roman shook his head and tried getting him back. He reached his arms up and managed to give him a hip squeeze! “aaaAAAH! Ohoho!” Remus jumped before grabbing his wrists. “Not happening, bro!” Remus said with a smirk.

In an attempt to get the upper hand, Roman placed both his feet against Remus’s chest and gave his body a push! It actually worked miraculous wonders and managed to push Remus right off into the mud puddle!

SPLASH! Remus went! If he wasn’t covered in mud before, he DEFINITELY was NOW!

Roman quickly crawled himself on top of Remus and started successfully squeezing his hips. “Wahaha-HAHAHAHAHAIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! UHUHUHUHUNFAHAHAHAIR!” Remus shouted.

Roman scoffed. “Since when was war ever fair?” Roman reminded him.

Remus guffawed at that statement amidst his laughing. Remus knew very well that Roman had a point. But he couldn’t actually tell him that because of Roman’s constant tickling. “THAHAHAHAT’S TRUHUHUHUE, IHIHI GUEHEHEHESS.” Remus managed to tell him.

Roman smiled and gave Remus a small break. “Glad to know you agree!” Roman reacted.

“Joseph Stalin, tho! He was the most unfair of unfair people!” Remus added.

Roman tilted his head and upper body back and forth in uncertainty. “Eeeehh...Adolf Hitler was also pretty bad.” Roman added.

“But Stalin killed SO MANY PEOPLE!” Remus added. “But someone else managed to beat Hitler AND Stalin COMBINED:” Remus added.

Roman dropped his mudball. “...Who? And how many?” Roman asked.

“Mao Dezong. And 78 million people were killed in 33 years.” Remus replied.

Roman widened his eyes and looked down. “I don’t wanna play war anymore.” Roman told him.

“Those wars happened decades ago.” Remus added, before looking at Roman and noticing his fearful face. “Hey...we can join forces if you’d like. We can be the Dirty Castle.” Remus suggested. “We can be the ultimate duo kingdom! And the best part?” Remus declared.

Roman looked up in hope.

“Little bloodshed!” Remus replied.

Roman smiled and stepped on the mudballs he had created earlier. “It’s a deal, Duke.” Roman replied as he shook Remus’s muddy hand. Remus smiled and made an official shake before taking a bit of mud and rubbing it on his forehead like a type of ritual. “King Roman of Dirty Castle.” Remus declared, holding his muddy arm up. When Remus let go of Roman’s hand, Roman bowed to the new mixed kingdom and put his right hand up. “I, King Roman of Dirty Castle, promise to be a loyal, brave and intellectual leader alongside the Duke.” Roman said to the invisible crowd.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TWO DOING?!” someone shouted from a few metres away. Roman and Remus looked to the right and widened their eyes:

Patton had found them! And Logan was with them! UH OH!

Logan took off his glasses and rubbed his nose. “Boys, boys, boys...What am I going to do with you?” He asked rhetorically in slight annoyance but mostly amusement.

Patton stormed up to them. “You two are covered in mud! Honestly!” Patton reacted, rubbing the mud off Roman’s forehead. “Some of it is already dried onto you!” Patton added in horror.

“Aww, come on Dad! We were having fun! We were having a mud kingdom war, and we just made a truce when you came out!” Remus reacted.

Patton groaned. “War games?” Patton whined in worry.

Logan nodded his head in curiosity. “Hmm...Sounds like you two signed an Act of Union and became one kingdom then.” Logan reacted. He giggled as he pointed at Remus. “Scotland, I’m guessing…” Logan then pointed to Roman. “And England.” Logan assigned.

“Awww yeah! I’m a SCOTTISH VIKING!” Remus shouted in a mediocre scottish accent.

“And I’m the Biscuits and Tea Country, known as England!” Roman declared in a fairly accurate english accent while lifting his pinky finger up and pretending to drink a cup of tea.

Logan was giggling at the two, before he was elbowed in the shoulder by Patton. “What?” Logan asked.

“We need to get these two hosed down.” Patton told him. “Where are your shirts?” Patton asked.

Roman and Remus both pointed to the car. Sure enough, their black and green costume shirts were laying on the engine hood of the car, slightly wet and dirt-stained. Patton sighed and decided to grab both kids hands and drag them to the water hose.

When the water hose was turned on towards their bodies, Roman full on shrieked and started shivering right away! “IT’S FREEZING!” Roman shouted.

Meanwhile, Remus didn’t mind it and actually tried to drink the water despite the mud from his face running down into his mouth. “Remus, stop drinking the water. It’s not drinkable!” Logan ordered.

Remus just laughed. “Tastes fine to me!” he declared back, sticking his tongue out to him. Logan rolled his eyes and continued to wash the kids off.

When the water reached their bellies however, both of them bursted out laughing and squirmed around like crazy! “IHIHIHIT TIHIHICKLEHEHES SOHOHOHO MUHUHUHUCH!” Roman shouted, struggling to cover up the ticklish spot with his hands. Logan kept constantly moving the hose around, making it almost impossible to cover up any ticklish spot!

Remus had already collapsed onto the ground, and was kitty fighting the air while he flopped around and rolled all over the place. “Remus, hold still!” Patton begged, bringing the hose water to Remus’s legs and aiming at his thighs. Remus went BALLISTIC after that! “NAHAHAHAHAHA! THIHIHIHIHIHIHIGHS TIHIHICKLHLHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA!” Remus shouted at Patton.

“I know, but this would go a lot quicker if you stopped moving!” Patton told Remus.

At the same time, Logan was washing the back of Roman’s scalp off. This was making Roman all giggly and super squirmy. “Ihihihihi cahahahahan’t! Tohohohohohoo tihihihicklihihihish!” Roman giggled.

“Funny...Your brother is getting tickled even worse than you. I don’t think you should be complaining, Ro.” Logan warned.

When the kids were hosed down enough, Patton and Logan summoned them some towels and let them dry off. The kids were all giggly and squirmy by the time the tick-I mean hosing down, had finished. Thankfully though, the giggles seemed to die down by the time they got into the bathtub.

Logan and Patton were both washing the twins. Patton was washing Remus’s hair, while Logan was rubbing a sponge on Roman’s back.

Roman let out a relaxed sigh. “I feel like a king.” Roman told his brother.

“Me too, bro.” Remus said, melting from the scalp massages.

Patton rolled his eyes but giggled at the silly kids. It didn’t take long for the calming bath to turn playful as Patton tickled Remus’s neck. “Mmmm...this feels- BAHA! HAHAhahahaha!” Remus said before being interrupted by surprised laughter.

Patton was smirking and scratching at the back of Remus’s neck. “Feeling relaxed yet?” Patton teased.

“NOOOHOhohohoho! Come ohohohon!” Remus begged, reaching his arms up and over his head to grab Patton’s hands.

Roman couldn’t stop the evil snicker from leaving his lips as a mean idea came to mind. Roman poked Remus’s right armpit and scratched a finger on Remus’s left armpit.

“HahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ROHOHOHOHO! STAHAHAHAHAP!” Remus shouted to him, dropping his arms down and squishing Roman’s fingers. Remus’s laughter and Roman’s evil giggles echoed through the bathroom more, thanks to the poor soundproof walls. Not only that, but the water was causing the sound to bounce all over the place as well! That just made the room almost chaotically echoey!

“OHOHOKAHAY, OHOHOHOKAHAHAHAHAY! YOHOHOU CAHAHAN STAHAHAP!” Remus ordered. “WEHEHE UNIHIHITEHED, REHEHEHEMBEHER?!” Remus asked as well.

“Oh, I remember. I just wanted to tickle you.” Roman teased before retreating his fingers.

Remus’s laughter slowed to giggles a little and went slightly limp. But the giggling continued to plague him, thanks to Patton’s nimble fingers STILL tickling his neck.

“Okay, Patton. You can stop now.” Roman suggested.

“What if I don’t wanna?” Patton asked.

Roman sat himself up straight and made himself look triumphant. “I, King Roman, order you to cease your tickle attacks on the Duke of Dirty Castle!” Roman ordered proudly.

“Oh?” Patton reacted with a smirk, before looking at Logan.

Logan gave him a smirk back and wrapped his arms around Roman’s bare chest. “Now YOU listen here, King Roman of Dirty Castle! I am a king too! King of this household! And YOU shall bow to me!” Logan ordered, tickling Roman’s upper ribs in the process.

Roman shrieked and bursted out laughing! “BAHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEHEYYY!” Roman laughed, squirming everywhere and splashing water all over the place.

“Goodness gracious! We have a fighter here, Padre.” Logan warned. “Should I cease or continue? If I continue, you may end up getting wet or worse: get your glasses wet.” Logan warned.

Patton bursted out laughing at that and leaned back. “You have glasses too! And they’re gonna get wet as well!” Patton added.

“Well, looks like we’ll both have to sacrifice our sight to conquer THIS kingdom…” Logan decided.

Roman and Remus looked at each other with confident smirks on their faces. “I’ll get Logan!” Roman declared.

“I’ll get Patton!” Remus declared back.

“rrRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRR!”

The twins screamed to their older sides and started tickling the daylights out of them! Their wet and soapy fingers only increased the ticklish sensations, and made their fingers more slippery while tickling. It didn’t take long for Patton and Logan to fall onto their back, and for Roman and Remus to jump onto them and continue their war against the other kingdom!

Even after being hosed and bathed...the twins never truly forgot about the war games they played. The only difference was:

There were more players! ...whether the adults liked it or not.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 265: Tamaki What Did You Eat

Previously on BnHA: The heroes began their invasion of the Ol’ Villain Marriott. Down in the basement, Re-Destro was all “what’s going my fresh villain citizens, what a beautiful day, well I guess we should start that meeting” and they were all “WE’RE UNDER FUCKING ATTACK” and he made a face and I laughed. Class 1-B, Edgeshot, and Midnight then jovially killed some people, and then we cut to Dabi and Hawks! Hawks was all “sorry it has to be this way Bubaigawara but I’m gonna have to arrest you” and Twice got all Harry Potter in that one scene from the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, and then he did the thing, and fucking Hawks just fucking stood there and DID NOTHING. So now he’s gonna have to fight 100,000 Twices I guess, and meanwhile Dabi is running up the stairs on his way to intervene and somehow make things even more chaotic. Also either Hawks or Dabi thinks heroes are scum, and I’m still not clear on which. But basically it’s safe to say that angst is on the way, friends.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki turns into a horse. I have questions. Dark Shadow fights fucking Re-Destro and fucking destroys him in like two seconds flat, like holy shit whaaaaat. Then Tokoyami just hops on inside of Fatgum like a goddamn marsupial, and spends several pages like this, during which I completely can’t focus the entire time but I do remember that we learned that Machia won’t be joining the fight because he apparently only listens to Tomura, so that’s convenient I guess. Then we cut to Twice and Hawks (I literally typed out “Dabi and Hawks” just now and had to go back and change it, so you can see where my mind is at), and Hawks defeats Twice and is all “guess I’ve got no choice” and is seriously going to kill him (hahaha what the fuck), but then DABI FUCKING BURNS THE ENTIRE ROOM DOWN WITH EVERYONE IN IT WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN THE CHAPTER JUST ENDS. I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

so before we start, let me just mention that I got a ton of asks and messages about the whole “HERO SCUM” line, and I appreciate everyone keeping me up to date on the twists and turns of our wild little fandom lol. so as you all probably know, in Viz’s translation of the last page they had Dabi saying the line (“Twice, this isn’t your fault. as always... scummy heroes are to blame”). so naturally everyone was either like “whaaaaat!” or “I KNEW IT!!”, but then Caleb went and deleted his original tweet saying that it was Dabi, and replaced it with a new tweet, the gist of which was basically “I don’t fucking know either” and admitting he wasn’t an authority on the matter. so to sum everything up, we basically don’t know and will never know until the anime airs this in about three years’ time, or until the only man who can actually clear this up decides to stop drawing weird mushroom men for five goddamn minutes so he can clarify for us

anyway, so in the meantime it’s time to see who’s having angst this week! probably everybody! let’s just assume it’s everybody and save some time

ohooo so we finally get to see why they had Tamaki and Tokoyami in the vanguard, eh?

(ETA: gotta say, “you” is an awfully impersonal way to address someone whose entire body you are shortly going to stuff inside your little quirk papoose and tote around like a fanny pack.)

honestly this isn’t much of a mystery though lol. Tokoyami is obvious, and with Tamaki it’s probably because of his kraken thing if I had to guess

...excuse me sir is this leading where I think it’s leading

sir. Mister Gum, sir. please do not tell me you are actually about to lead these children into the building and down into the basement. first of all the thought of you and Tamaki in yet another basement is already giving me PTSD so no thanks. and second of all, ???!?!?!?!?! [gestures incredulously to the two children] ?!?!?!???? [emphatically taps my computer screen with the wiki page showing their respective ages] ???!?!?!?!?!?! [gestures wildly toward a picture of Gigantomachia I pulled up just now in a google search. yeah that’s right. Gigantomachia!! you all forgot about him didn’t you!! well guess who didn’t forget about him?? that’s right. so you’d better explain yourself right the fuck now, Fatgum. oh wait I’m still talking in action brackets whoops]

holy crap is Tokoyami giving orders lmao

well look at you. a general, huh? somebody must’ve told them about his little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab

so now some generic villain guys are all “HOW’D THEY FIND OUR SECRET PATH” and “WE MUST DEFEND IT” and I sure can’t wait to watch them get their asses kicked three panels from now

OH LORDY

EVERYONE TAMAKI HAS JUST TURNED INTO A HORSE. I IMMEDIATELY HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS, THE MOST PRESSING OF WHICH ARE (1) WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS PANTS, AND (2) DOES THIS MEAN TAMAKI ATE A FUCKING HORSE. PLEASE STAY TUNED AS WE URGENTLY INVESTIGATE THESE NEW DEVELOPMENTS

lol and the cow horns too. why though. just completes the look I guess

loooooool he’s all “apologies, but please remain still” who are you, Tuxedo Mask??

LOOOOOOL

by the way, I almost skipped right past this, but the text says Tamaki will be a sidekick at the Fatgum agency starting “next year”, which presumably means “in a couple of weeks because the school year is about to end.” our boy is graduating! I’m so proud, and also really pissed off about Mirio all of a sudden, just throwing that out there. how much longer must his dreams be put on hold. where is the justice. man I need a minute

okay! anyway so now Tokoyami is just running into the basement alone!! hooooo boy. I know it’s dark down there and that’s presumably why they’re sending him of all people, but still. hooooooooo boy

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NO WAY

IS TOKOYAMI GOING TO TAKE ON FUCKING RE-DESTRO AND IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AND WHY THE FUCK IS NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAIN SUDDENLY PLAYING

KDSFLK;L’LLL

AM I IN THE RIGHT MANGA. DID DARK SHADOW REALLY JUST GROW NINETY FEET TALL AND START WRESTLING THE SAME FUCKING GUY WHO ALMOST* BROUGHT DOWN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF FUCKING VILLAINS

*except he didn’t, let’s be real. didn’t even come close. but still, on paper the hype looks real good!!

AND DO RE-DESTRO’S ROBOT LEGS SOMEHOW FUCKING CHANGE SIZE ALONG WITH HIM. CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP FOR THE MYSTERY BASKET. PUT YOU RIGHT NEXT TO “BUT FOR REAL THOUGH DID TAMAKI ACTUALLY EAT A FUCKING HORSE”

OOOOOF

LOL DETNERAT’S MERCHANDISE REALLY IS TOTAL SHIT. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE CLASH WITH A GIGANTIC SHADOW DEMON

by the way, check out that one guy in the bottom right corner who just totally doesn’t give the least of fucks. he’s fresh out. he wants to know how much longer this is gonna last so he can go home and get back to playing the new Animal Crossing. did you know they added a new crafting feature. can’t believe he’s stuck here at this boring meeting. this man genuinely doesn’t seem to be at all aware of anything that is currently happening around him and it’s amazing. added to the box of questions

oh man. I don’t quite understand what is happening now but I keep expecting Gigantomachia to just pop up out of nowhere any second and I can’t fucking stand it. Horikoshi please stop showing us these close-ups of destroyed walls

OH GOD OH GOD!!!

(ETA: what a casual fucking line implying that Tokoyami genuinely believed that there was nobody in THE ENTIRE LEAGUE OF PLIFF who stood a chance against his latest super move. don’t mind him everyone, he’s just been lowkey biding his time to become the strongest member of class 1-A offscreen while his loser classmates were having dramatic family dinners. how many High Ends could Dark Shadow take out I wonder. why did I suddenly get a mental image of Toko losing an arm only to sigh and nonsensically quote Shakespeare or some shit before wrapping Dark Shadow around the stump and getting back to the asskicking.)

NO TOKO NOT THE ANGRY BALD MAN, HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!! OH FUCK OH FUCK

LMAO

:) :) :) can we maybe get my solemn bird son out of this fucking DEATH BASEMENT right the fuck now. can we do that, please

holy shit!?

:) :) :) I can’t decide whether I trust these panels or not. why is he so confident. does this mean Machia really will be sitting out the arc, or is a trap. help

(ETA: I guess it’s okay for now. ... dammit I’m still suspicious sob.)

also, Tokoyami’s “?!” face is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen though. the fact that he’s physically incapable of altering his expressions no matter what is true comedy gold here

NEVER MIND, THOSE WERE THE WORDS OF A CALLOW YOUTH WHO KNEW NOTHING OF TRUE COMEDY GOLD

WHAT A FOOL I WAS. PLEASE PARDON MY IGNORANCE. SO HERE WE HAVE TOKOYAMI’S MONOEXPRESSION BIRD HEAD STICKING OUT OF FATGUM’S JOLLY BELLY FOR NO REASON, WHILE FATGUM IS ALL “DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE WE’RE KICKING TOO MUCH ASS AND SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”, AND SOME OTHER POOR GUY WITH SCISSORS HANDS IS JUST LYING THERE DEAD IN THE BACKGROUND. MY GOD. I’M IN AWE OF THIS

dfkjkjk oh noooo

“does this young man amuse you,” Horikoshi says as he darkly pencils in the disturbingly concave shadows of Fatgum’s ridiculous fucking quirk. “are his ‘magnificent fellow’ bird antics pleasing for you to watch. I guess it sure would be a shame if I gave him some... angst”

but for real y’all I genuinely can’t take this at all seriously when Tokoyami’s head is still stubbornly and persistently poking its way out of Fatgum like a goddamn baby kangaroo in every fucking panel

we are entering another Tokoyami+Hawks mentor flashback and this is still all I can think about. why is he even in there. why is any of this happening. Tokoyami really just flung Re-Destro into a wall and then climbed inside of Fatgum feet-first so they could run along to freedom. just fucking ensconced himself. do you think it’s cozy in there. do you think Aizawa would fall asleep

hey Toko please stop having ominous thoughts about my other bird son

have you ever heard of an announcer jinx. “now here’s a guy who the fans have loved since the moment he was first introduced. and if you look at the stats, fourth place in his first popularity poll, which was taken only ten chapters after his introduction. heck, he’s so popular they even went and gave him a role in the second movie even before he appeared in the anime! it’s undeniable that this young man has a bright future ahead of him, Al.” now you listen here. I don’t at all like where this is headed and it needs to stop right now

anyway so of course on that note we are cutting back to Hawks

so we’ve confirmed that Hawks has his hands full just melting all of the new clones as they come, and doesn’t have the speed or the excess feathers (or the conviction? :|) to go after the original and put a stop to all this

or you could just ignore everything I say ever because immediately on the next page Horikoshi is all “actually he’s winning lol”

anyway but it sure would be a shame if someone were to run in and set you on fire right about now. that probably sounds sarcastic but it actually would be really bad lol please don’t set Hawks on fire

(ETA: motherfucker. goddamn. fucking --)

and now Hawks is making clones of his fellow League buddies oh shit!! but right when I was about to scroll down I noticed that Hawks is carrying some sort of recording device?? or communications device?? in his hand very conspicuously in that last panel? and so what is going on here, exactly?

oh shit and never mind about those LoV clones

that’s all well and good Hawks, but I need you to please just be very cautious and aware and proactive about not catching on fire okay. watch your six

oh my god oh my god

“now here’s a guy whose rise in popularity was unexpected but just a real pleasure to watch. he just really cares about his friends.” “you said it; he really came into his own a couple arcs back. twenty-third in the most recent poll, and the fans all love him.” fffffff Hawks isn’t a killer Hawks isn’t a killer, I can’t hear you lalala

LA LA LA

maybe... he’ll just... punch a small hole through one of his lungs... ...

...

or... a large hole... ... ,,,

oh THANK GOD he’s jumping on top of him. so clearly he’s fine because Shounen Rules. that’s right, this is a manga where Toga survived blowing up from the inside out and Jeanist survived being murdered and stuffed into a tote bag. (right??) why am I so tense I hate this!!

HEY WHAT IS THIS

or you could just KNOCK HIM OUT??? ?????!??! did they not teach you that in peewee assassin league?! Hawks

I DON’T LIKE THIS I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

STOP SHOWING US TWICE’S SAD THOUGHTS YOU BASTARD NO I DON’T LIKE THIS YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY SO STOP!!

GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

“HERE’S A SERIES OF PANELS WITH TWICE CRYING AND THINKING ABOUT TOGA WHILE HAWKS HOLDS A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT ABOVE HIS EYE,” HORIKOSHI SAYS WHILE IGNORING EVERYTHING I SAY AND DISABLING ALL COMMENTS ON HIS TWITTER, PROBABLY. WOW I JUST LOOKED IT UP AND APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT? DAMN, TWITTER REALLY SUCKS, BUT ANYWAY

FINE THEN DABI YOU CAN SET HIM ON FIRE!!

JOKE’S ON YOU ASSHOLES, YOU CAN’T HURT ME IF I CAN’T SEE THE LAST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER THROUGH ALL MY TEARS

FUCK

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THE FUCK WAS THAT

DON’T YOU EVEN DARE, HORIKOSHI. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT YOU GAVE HIM PERMISSION”, COME THE FUCK ON, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DIDN’T MEAN SHIT AND I WAS LIABLE TO CHANGE MY MIND YET AGAIN ONLY A PAGE LATER AS PER USUAL! WHAT SORT OF TWISTED MIND WOULD DECIDE THAT THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE TWICE WAS TO SET THE ENTIRE ROOM ABLAZE AND THEN HAVE DABI GLEEFULLY STOMP ON HAWKS’S FACE. WHAT KIND OF SICK MONSTER WOULD DREAM THIS UP. THIS ISN’T HOT AT ALL. HOW DARE YOU

ALSO WTF DABI, “HERE I COME TO RESCUE TWICE” WHILE BURNING HIM ALIVE AS WELL, JESUS CHRIST THESE FUCKING TODOROKIS I SWEAR TO GOD. DID YOUR BRAIN CELLS CATCH FIRE TOO

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED ALL WEEK IN A FUCKING LOCKDOWN FOR THIS SHIT. THIS CHAPTER WAS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK, AND I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO THANK ITS STUPID CONDUCTOR, OR PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. it’s not the manga we need, but it’s the one we deserve. I guess

[gotmilk5101520]

Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 27 Escape from the Darklands

Finally finishing this series before Rise of the Titans comes out July 21 I had hoped to finish this, 3Below, and Wizards as well, but i’m just lucky to get Trollhunters done in time.

Oh, hey. They finally decided to change the opening. About time.

“Jim?”

“Jim, honey are you up?” Oh, shit.

“Honey, are...”

“are you here?”

“Jim?”

“Oh, hey!”

“Sorry, Mom”

“Putting these socks on is so easy today” What? Last time i saw Jim he went to Super Mega Turbo Troll Hell for his bi crimes.

“The doctor said, after that concussion”

“and loss of memory”

“you need all the nourishment you can”

”get” Yeah. A concussion.

“Must’ve been some concussion”

“I still can’t remember when we redecorated the house”

“Heh heh”

“See ya later, Dr. L!”

“Dr. L?” Wait, there’s only one person that calls her “Dr. L”

“We are late, Jimbo” Suddenly Claire.

“You wear the glamour mask and play Jim” Yep it’s Toby.

“It’s only been 2 weeks, and the amulet hasn’t called for anyone else” Wait it’s been 2 whole weeks since last episode? Man what happened during those 2 weeks. If only there was a book about it- Oh, wait. There is.

“Come on”

“Come on, come on. Link makes it look so easy”

“I don’t get it! Collecting eggs wasn’t this dangerous in Breath of the Wild!”

“All right”

“Papa’s bringing home the bacon” That’s what she said.

We interrupt Trollhunters to bring you The Legend of Jimbo Breath of the Darklands.

“Oh!”

“Still beats chicken surprise”

“Hey, Tobes”

“You want a bite, Claire? No?”

“How about you, Blink?”

“Gotta get in here while it lasts”

“I’m going fucking crazy”

“The Shadow Staff cannot cross into the Darklands. If it did then we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place!”

“Hey”

“What the heck?”

“Who turned my Warhammer into a backscratcher?”

“After witnessing your troubles handling it”

“I sought to stabilize it’s unpredictability”

”and make it, as you might say...”

“Fun-size”

“Whaaaaat?”

“Pocket hammer”

“Fun-size”

“Awesome-size!” Question: Why didn’t you do that in the first place?

“Who summoned the Tribunal, Vendel?”

“The Tribunal summoned themselves”

“Word of the Trollhunter;s stupidity to enter the Darklands”

“has spread like the Coronavirus”

Jim survives that fall.

“No way”

“The nursery”

“That’s a lot of babies” And a lot of Child Support gone down the drain.

“Tear it down”

“And let the flesh thing perish in the Darklands”

“Those ungrateful turds!”

“We don’t have a say about Jim, but volcano guy does?” It’s just like real politics and the justice system. Who cares about what the friends and family says? They deserve death. Am i right?

“Who’s to say this”

“human”

“isn’t a changeling”

“who went in to free Gunamr himself?” Um...

He’s touched the gaggletack. This isn’t a Changeling Jim au.

“You were the ones who said he has to answer every call!”

“He went in to hunt Gunmar”

“The one troll the rest of you are too scared to deal with!” Toby and Claire came for their lives.

“Oh, not these two”

“They’re always a pain in my rear!” Literally.

“If you boot them from these proceedings”

“You may as well do the same to me!”

“Scam of the earth!” Well you did tell them to boot you out too.

“Dark Underlord, the Trollhunter is here-”

“What? Did i hear you right, Squidward? Did you say Plankton is here? Plankton! So he’s come to steal the secret formula to the Gummy Patty! FIND HIM!”

Like i said, goblins are the best babysitters.

“Eloise Stemhower”

“Born in 1894″

“Jeez, what are they feeding you guys?” Some weird milk that makes you immortal.

“Shh-shh-shh!”

“It’s okay”

“It’s okay”

“Waltolomew...”

“Strickler?”

“You’re the real Walter Strickler?”

“You’re so...”

“small”

Wait 2016? You mean this series starts in 2016? And going by Miraculous Ladybug timeline. That means Miraculous Ladybug was already happening by this point. That means season 4 is happening right now as we speak.

“I know a girl”

“who has been dying to see you”

“I’ll come back, i promise”

“I’ll come back for all of you” And then he didn’t.

“Shh! Come on, Enrique, don’t cry”

“Come on. You want everyone to know we’re here?”

The answer is yes.

“Come on, Enrique”

“Thank you”

Well Jim. Now you can make a book. How to Make a Baby Cry in 5 Syllables or Less.

Enrique is really questioning his sister’s taste in men.

“Draal, the Tribunal’s going to tear down the bridge with Jim in it!”

“Bushigal! They can’t do that!” Bushigal is how trolls say bullshit. This is how we can get away with curse in kids shows.

“Please, stop them!”

“Opps. Did i do that?”

“Break the controls!”

“You know, if only i had a portable Warhammer”

“Oh, wait, i do!”

“LET’S ROCK THIS JOINT!”

Nice!

“Always had a thing against authority” Tumblr.

“The Tribunal shall discuss matters of your ousting after this, Vendel”

“Kiss my mossy bottom, Usurna” Translation: “Kiss my stinky ass, Grim Reaper”

“JIM!”

“CLAIRE!”

“JIM!”

“A little more”

“Just a little more”

“Oh, no”

“NO!”

“NO!”

“I was right there”

“And, Claire, i promise i’m gonna find your brother”

“Enrique”

“Mi Hermanito”

“YOU’VE KILLED HIM!”

“YOU’VE KILLED HIM!”

“You’ve killed him”

“You’ve killed him”

“As long as the amulet doesn’t call to anybody”

“we know he’s okay”

“James... Lake” Well, it’s still saying his name. So he’s fine.

“At long last”

“Here you are”

“That voice... Luke Skywalker?”

“You look like Blinky”

“I didn’t know you have a brother”

“Had a brother”

“Mm...” “You’re... You’re Blinky’s”

“Dictatious Maximus Galadrigal”

“My brother”

“has taught you well. Like how Obi-Wan taught me well”

“But not”

“well enough!”

Hey, they changed the credits too.

Now to... uh... get the bridge?

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy the first part of my commentary of Outer Banks. I'm going to post eps. 6 through 10 in a second post so as to keep within the text limit. Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see what all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO

Ep 1:

• Ragtag group of friends, including a girl that the 3 other guys wanna bang, and she's also a rich girl but she "doesn't fit in" with that crowd so she hangs with the down and out guys

• "Kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls for rich girl"

• A 27 year old playing a teenager, the usual

• One of the main guys in this is HOT

• In a basic white dude way

• He's the asshole bad boy of the show and I want him to BRB THERE'S A FIGHT

• I bet he's a genuine good guy tho

• HE'S A DUMBASS SO NOW I'M IN LOVE

• ADINA PORTER

• The main protagonist looks like james from BTR

• His face is too small for his head

• His best friend (JJ?) moaned about 20 minutes in and I haven't been the same since

• I have to watch ep 2 to decide if I'm gonna genuinely enjoy this or hate watch

Ep. 2

• I'm getting Flight 29 Down vibes

• The narration is kinda, too much? Like if I need to be guided by it, that means the writers didn't do such a good job

• "wHaT dO yOu KnOw AbOuT tHe CoMpAsS!?"

• This Sarah chick is fucking annoying

• Annoying rich bitch wants attention and she's fucking so fucking CLICHE

• This little sister is FUCKING AGGRAVATING

• We got our sleezy bad guys, ofc

• "Ratter" ooof course that's his name

• THEY'RE STEALING SHIT

• HE JUST KILLED A CHICKEN

• I'm literally crying right now AHAHAHAH fuck

• Sarah's douche bf has HIGHLIGHTS

• His name is Topper which I ironic bc he's def a bottom

• SO FUCKING CLICHE AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT IT???

• THIS KID HAS A HACKEY SACK WHAT KINDA 2000s MOVIE IS THIS

• Why is this so dramatic

• Like for whaaaaat

• There was ONE kiss and now I wanna make out with someone wtf quarantine is killing me

• John B. is growing on me

• Curse me being for a White Man's Whore

• Oh no Ward is HOT

• Please let him turn out to be a decent man bc I don't trust rich white men as far as I can throw em

• John B runs weird????

• OHP THERE'S OUR BADDIES

• Cue Poppy's Voicemail

• My mom just came in and asked me to tone it down but I told her it's not in my nature and she said " *sigh* I know"

• FUCK THE POLICE

• don't give it to her John B

• ACAB

• I knew he wouldn't be able to give it up, we wouldn't have a show then!

• "Back in the friend zone" I'm hollering

• A snake!

• "Stop barking at the snakes" JJ IS SO DUMB

• And now Kie is going into the grave

Ep. 3

• There would be spiders everywhere realistically

• THESE DUDES ARE EVERYWHERE BRO

• Ah it's just grave diggers

• JJ. Is so. Dumb.

• Fuck bro I'm cryin

• Pope is an angel

• Sarah needs to shut up

• Her sister also needs to shut up

• TO THE BIG KAHUNA

• Is JJ wearing a shark tooth necklace

• ONLY 900 FEET

• Dumb idiot bitch is vomiting too calmly

• This kid, Rafe? Annoying and useless

• Sarah's brother???

• HE BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE WITH THE GENERATOR MONEY WHAT A PRIVILEGED CUNT

• He's a drug dealer, ofc he is

• ANOTHER CLICHE

• Creepy security guard. Wonderful.

• Always gotta help the young pretty girl

• JJ lying about being abused, or is he really? Either way it's lowkey smart

• HE'S LYING. HIS FAKE CRYING? BELIEVABLE. KUDOS TO YOU, JJ

• That is a human hand

• They're gonna get hurt lmao

• Yayo? Tf is yayo? Some slang for coke?

• I googled it, it's Spanish slang for cocaine lmaoooo I'm dumb

• TOPPER SAID I LOVE YOU AND SARAH DIDN'T SAY IT BACK

• Mmmmmm love when guys get MAD because she took back her yes!!!

• "Tastes like bananas"

• I don't like this kid but I feel bad that he was pressured into this

• POPE LIKES KIE

• Dead bodies oh yeah

• AND THE THUNDER ROLLS

• Ofc Rafe is causing problems

• I think Topper isn't so bad and may just be a product of his environment

• Nevermind FUCK HIM FOR HURTING POPE

• Those surfing shots are cool

• Little fishies

• Pope is so cute and adorable

• THAT'S A BIG STORM

• Uh uh, no thank you

• They're gonna lose the camera

• Do you ever have anxiety

• Oh shiiiit there she is

Ep. 4

• John B has pretty freckles

• "On what grounds?" "On solid grounds, on holy grounds" (ON THE GROUNDS OF BROOKLYN, YOUR HONOR)

• Wait how old is he, even?

• HE DO BE RUNNIN

• Poor Jorge

• That was a very fake jump

• "That's not ideal" he's such a goob

• "Why is this my fault?" "Because it usually is." Oof

• Rafe just said Pope needs to take some personal responsibility. IS HE LISTENING TO HIMSELF? THE IRONY

• This bitch.....is putting rubbing alcohol on the wound? Not peroxide?

• He slapped her hand I'm crying

• I'm sorry but bitches need to mind their business

• I S2G IF THEY HURT POPE I WILL END THEM

• This is so messy

• Why did I think she was gonna flash the guy

• Rafe def likes Kie

• "It might go down tonight" I love this over dramatic shit

• Ward was poor once too, wah wah

• John B is going crazy

• Well the sharks didn't do shit

• Ofc they're going shopping

• "I'll sugar mama you"

• This is actually funny, but I can feel the tension

• "You almost killed him HAHAHAHAH" shut the fuck up you pussy bitch

• Aw he shook the librarian's hand what a good bub

• Of course the stupid rich mom wants to press charges

• FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT

• JJ I LOVE YOU

• YOU'RE DUMB BUT I LOVE YOU

Ep. 5

• So there was a kiss. Nice.

• JJ's dad is gonna beat his ass and Susan is gonna feel bad

• YUP THERE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.

• I wanna hug JJ so bad

• Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

• DIRTY COPS

• AW THAT HUG, THAT SMOOCH. I LOVE JJ AND POPE

• I hope Rafe d*es

• The dude who plays Topper is a good actor

• JJ IS SO DUMB I LOVE HIM

• Denmark Tanny was a G

• John B do B lyin

• Ward knows, ofc he fucking knows

• A SAFE BEHIND THE PAINTING

• OH MY GOD WARD WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THOSE GUYS

• ahhhh drinking and driving love it

• Topper is about to do some moronic shit

• She's not there, she did the pillows under the covers trick

• OH NO IT'S HER SISTER

• "I'm not a jealous guy" sure

• He's spilling his heart out rn

• HE'S LYING TO KIE'S FACE

• Ofc Wheezie snitched, again

• Topper looks like he's gonna murder someone

• BRO HE JUST FELL????

• Did your "short fuse" make you murder those dudes?

• He's gonna be a KOOK

• UH UH, WARD IS SUS

[blin53fanfics]

Too Close (2/?)

So, life has me busy with work and getting prints and stuff ready for spring  convention. That being said, this one is shorter. I apologize for the delay. Please be sure to read part one! 

Sasuke stumbled into his apartment in a lightly drunken mess. Leave it to Naruto and Kiba to get all the men riled up in a drinking contest. Of course Sasuke and Shikamaru were the first to tap out, but that was after downing 9 shots of whiskey and 3 beers. Quietly, Sasuke stumbled into the master bedroom and unclicked his hood. He undressed to his boxers and crawled onto his side of  the bed.  Rolling over to face Sakura, he reached out his arm only to grab the air.

“Sakura,”Sasuke slurred as he opened his glazed eyes. “ Sakura!” 

Sasuke sat up and glanced at the bathroom door, scanning the floor to see the lights turned off. Sasuke began to breathe faster now as he closed his eyes in concentration. Her chakra signature was nowhere to be found. Gathering his clothes from the floor, Sasuke stumbled around the bedroom in search of any remnant of his wife. In his frenzy a breeze came in from the window in the corner of the room. The window with Sakura’s favorite flower now lay broken on the floor along with shattered glass from the window. 

“ Shit.”

“ Naruto, open up Naruto!!” Sasuke continued to bang on the door until a light came on from the living room.

“ Whaaaaat?” Naruto still drunk and dazed opened the door to Sasuke looming over him. 

“She’s gone.”

“Huh?”

“Sakura she just vanished. We need to get to Kakashi now.” With that the dark haired Uchiha teleported to the Hokage’s office. With all the festival preparation and new genins for graduation, Sasuke figured that Kakashi would still be in his office. 

Busting open the door, Sasuke watched as Kakashi looked up from his work unamused. “ Can I help you?” Kakashi peaked down at the sack Sasuke held in his hand. The sack being Naruto who had since passed out asleep upon arrival of the teleport. “ What happened to him?” 

“My wife’s been stolen,” Sasuke slurred as he took a step forward toward Kakashi. 

“ Are you both drunk?” Kakashi questioned. “ You know drinking is only good in moderation.”

“ Kakashi, Sakura is missing. I came home tonight to find her gone and our window shattered. She’s pregnant, we- we...have to go..” Sasuke began to sway on his feet as he walked to the Hokage desk. 

“ I can’t send you both out on the field like this.”

“Sakura…”

Kakashi signaled for an anbu to appear at the window. “ I need a team of three to search for Sakura Uchiha, any leads or findings report back to me immediately.” The Anbu nodded in turn and raced out onto the rooftops signaling for others to join him. 

“ Kakashi, I’m going.”

“Your not going anywhere in this state. Your more likely to get killed and your eye stolen. You can only sleep this off. The sooner you’re sober, the better.” 

Sasuke gripped his fist in anger of being useless. Flashbacks of Sakura kissing his cheek, laughing, and the words “just relax and have fun tonight” echoed in his mind. This is why he could never relax, not when his new family was once again taken from him.  He couldn’t wait around due to his negligence. Sasuke took a breath and released a sleeping Naruto onto the floor. “ I have to go Kakashi.”

Kakashi slumped in his seat and glared, “ It is nearly dawn, I will send Shikamaru, and Sai to meet you wherever you are.” Sasuke nodded and vanished out the door. Kakashi slumped with his head resting on his hand. “ Sakura, you better be safe.”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 11: Rafael’s Lian Yu Experience

Ah, lets tune into Yugioh where Duke has decided to do some off-roading in the worst car and in the worst place.

Ah yes, the normal interaction you would have with a desert and your expensive vintage car. Duke has been struggling since he became a protagonist to stick to a defining trope. Now that Serenity is gone, and now that they aren’t watching a duel for Duke to be a downer about, I guess his only other tick is that he sucks at driving?

Again there was a perfectly serviceable truck back at the RV but they just really like to put miles on this car (which doesn’t have it’s lights on I believe, which...good job, Duke).

And he just launches these two inexplicably out of the car. Because Yugi might be losing his whole damn soul on the other end of this desert, but we will have cartoon shenanigans, damn it.

It really does look like Dukes looking through the wrong side of his binoculars here...that extra level of Duke.

Speaking of extra level, hows that horse thing going? Where Yugi is riding a horse for the first time in his entire life?

Because, apparently the show has decided that Yami should be really good at horses (????????). He can’t read any Egyptian, he doesn’t have any memories of his Pharaoh life, he can barely use magic, but apparently, he can game a horse. Only problem, is that this art team of high octane vehicle enthusiasts seems totally unaware of how horses work---I’ll just show you. This scene GOES places, and I will absolutely record it so you can watch it in it’s entirety in a separate post.

(see more horse under the cut)

The horses leg didn’t move the entire slide down the mountain y’all, he just stuck one hoof in front of him and power-slid down a freakin cliff like he was wearing horse Wheelies.

What the Hell?

Anyway, welcome to our new dueling platform.

You wouldn’t believe it, but it’s on a very tall thing. I know, in this show? They’re dueling on a tall thing? Whaaaaat?

This is a hilariously weirdly perfectly cylindrical land mass 10/10.

So Rafael’s whole deal is so freakin weird.

Rafael’s a weirdo. I was ready for Alister, since Alister introduced himself in a Maximilian Pegasus suit, but I just wasn’t expecting Rafael to be the weirdEST youknow? Of the three? Like he’s up there with Arcana and the band-saw ankle-slicing machine. Just a really choice human being who makes really good decisions.

God bless this artist’s obsession with edgy cargoes.

Anyways, another fun fact about Rafael is he gets more and more jacked with every single frame it feels--his muscles are like the quality to go fight Cell, but all he does is play cards.

Also he’s obsessed with justifying mass murder on a global scale so...he seems a little bit like an X-men villain in that way, except he’s...just a normal ass dude who got really buffed.

Rafael needs a reason to want to destroy all humanity--that’s really the big dilemma that the writing crew was given, but the way they got there...was a lot.

Lets dive right into it, starts off kind of normal, run of the mill “gotta cleanse the world yada yada” and then just starts somersaulting down a steep hill like in Princess Bride.

First of all, the show decides to reveal to us the entire story via a Rebecca google search, and then, once we’re like WTF? we get to hear it in it’s entirety and it is way weirder the second time.

So um...this Titanic cruise ship.

Yeah. I know. That’s a lot of Princess Peach dresses.

(welcome back, glass of OJ that every child on this show drinks with every meal)

Honestly there is no greater curse in this show than being rich. If you’re a rich dude you are SCREWED. Some force of nature is going to come for you just at any possible moment. You will get abducted....MANY TIMES. You will lose your parents, repeatedly. Your wife will die shortly after marriage. Some asshole will walk up and just remove your eyeball and replace it with a magic golf ball. You will never be the best at cards. Just never be rich in the Yugioh universe. It is better to be dead.

Speaking, of dead--just did a Rebecca-brand google search--do you know how many people fit on an average cruise liner?

It’s more than you think.

Woooooooooooooooooooooo that’s about 3000 people! Just nonchalantly! (and yo, I went mid-range, some cruise liners carry like 6000)

We passed so many 69′s just now!

Now there is some weird issues with this episode where Rebecca was like “The only survivor was Rafael” and then later, Rafael mentions his family is still alive--kinda sounds like the translation shenanigans are back at it, where the English version is desperately trying to keep people from dying, but like, the Japanese version drew a 600 ft tidal wave that ate up this cruise-liner like it was a bathtub toy made of paper.

But sure, maybe some escape boats made it out safely from a catastrophe that is 800 times worse than the Titanic. Sure they did.

PS History Channel got into a weird trend in the 00′s where they used to do these series of rogue wave horror stories--do you remember those? Anyways, one of my friends got super spooked by rogue waves and had it as one of her top ten fears. At the time I was like “lol you’re not gonna get rogue waved on a cruise are you kidding?” But then again, maybe she watched Yugioh and this episode scarred her for life?

Especially since this crazy traumatic experience was followed by three years of being stranded on an island and going COMPLETELY insane. Like not just...partial--Rafeal has absolutely no grip on reality anymore. Like, at all. He’s on another plane from most other Yugioh villains.

It’s like Lord of the Flies but there’s only one person in it. The Lord of the Fly.

This is a kid’s show.

Anyways, on the island, Rafael got hella jacked. So there was that one plus. He did eventually become a very huge person in his adulthood, although he did get a Mokuba haircut for a little while. This honestly says more about Mokuba’s hair routine than anything else.

He also spent some time seeing his lost family members as these three cards that he likes to pray to. Occasionally they fall into the ocean and he has to dry them off. Rafael lived a kind of boring weird life cycling between hallucinations and staring into the ocean.

The show didn’t bother to tell us what Rafael was eating or explain how that outfit lasted 3 years. But, they did describe that after 3 ENTIRE YEARS, Darts decided to just start harassing him.

Which...OK...and then there was this next sequence

I mean this was the only interaction that Rafael had in three years so maybe he forgot that getting drowned by people who harness the power of the ocean isn’t like...good behavior?

Anyways, back in the real world, in the city and wearing his hot topic grunge vest well into his early 30′s, Rafael decided that everyone just...deserves to die. Traffic sucks. Cities sucks. There’s too much crime. Everyone should be dead. It was very strange and sudden twist. You go from having all the money in the world, to no money, and then back to all the money and it’s like “Central heating SUCKS! KILL EVERYONE!”

Then Rafael made this mention of his family that has to be a translation thing.

Those guys have got to be dead. I mean this is Yugioh. There were no survivors. I’ll be very surprised if they pop up next episode, I’ll even dock them off the Death Count if they never died, I am that certain they won’t still be dead in this upcoming arc. They have clearly been replaced with paper cards. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if their souls were somehow inside these particular cards he carries.

I didn’t cap it, but to walk on the island you walk across a glowing oricalchos bridge and it was very goofy.

And then these guys showed up, reminding me again that they are still on this show, because tbh, I completely forgot.

I kinda miss when they were the weirdest people here and I just thought Rafael was another boring guy in handlebar muttonchops.

Anyway, it’s a short update today. I’m a little behind on things in other places, so that’s fine by me. I keep hoping that soon I’ll be back to doing like 2 of these a week. Especially since I recently decided to start blocking twitter and other places I’ve been wasting a little too much time on, maybe then it’ll funnel my efforts to here? We’ll see. Next episode we’ll find out how long all of these guys wearing jackets in the desert are faring.

And here’s a link to read these from the beginning.

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 7x19 Brain Dump

I didn’t really dig this episode to be honest (see what I did there?! Such lolz 😂). It wasn’t that it was bad, it was just misplaced within the season, and maybe also it just seemed to fall a bit flat after last week? Meh…perfectly watchable though, and I love one John Thomas Diggle, so it was great to see him take centre(ish) stage again! 

John Diggle

Oh Diggle…I love Diggle…I miss Diggle…yay to all the Diggle! We finally got to meet another relative of John’s after 34627 years, and it was no other that Winston from Ghostbusters! Dig and Oliver approach General Roy Stewart, who turns out to be Dig’s estranged stepfather, for intel on a flash drive from the Ninth Circle. That he was Dig’s stepdad is news to both Oliver and Felicity, which I think was a real shame; in all these years spent together he’d never mentioned his parents?

Anyway, plot happens, and Dig and the General are kidnapped by Dante, which gave the men an opportunity to work together and to demonstrate the love and the respect they have for each other, which was just lovely! Never in my life did I imagine I’d see Duncan MacLeod electrocuting Winston from Ghostbusters 😂!

The backstory with Dig and his stepfather was actually really poignant. Where Dig had believed the General to be at fault for his father’s death, then promptly swooping into his mother’s and their lives, he actually had been protecting Dig’s father’s legacy for all these years. The General hid the fact that Bio-Papa Dig actually died due to his own negligence, also causing the death of two other Marines, but had allowed Dig and Andy to believe the worst about himself, keeping their father’s memory a brave and heroic one. This is what being a parent is, and Dig is finally able to see him for the good man, and strong father-figure he really was for all these years. The general tells Dig “Every child deserves to believe that his father is a hero, and believing it, you became one.” This is the legacy he has left for John. I did get a bit choked up at this, especially John’s line “If I’m a hero, it’s all because of you, Sir”...my John Diggle heart 😭😭!!

Continued under the cut

David is such a wonderful actor, and if this episode did anything at all, it was showcase this. He gave an interview saying that the story with his Stepfather continues from here…so will we see Winston again? I hope so! Or this may just mean the continued theme of non-blood family i.e. Dig’s eventual adoption of Connor.

There were some sweet moments between Oliver and Dig, with Dig opening up about his step-father and real father. Oliver was there for him, as both a sympathetic ear, and to give some advice. It’s nice to be reminded, and shown, that Oliver and Dig will always have each others’ backs (Dig’s personality transplant in 7a notwithstanding).

However…where was my Delicity???  There was ample opportunity, just wasted…Felicity was right there, she discovered the truth about Dig’s father! Delicity for the taking!! But no 😡 Where was Dyla??? For fucks sake, we have a Diggle-centric episode and Lyla doesn’t’ even get a look-in? Barely a name drop? Or JJ (in the present)?? COME ON PEOPLE!!

My main gripe with the episode was, we could and should have had this storyline for Dig at any other point in this season, or at any point with in the entire series. Imagine this going off in S4 when Dig was also dealing with learning of Andy’s true past as well, or S5 when he was dealing with his guilt over Andy’s death and coming out of the Army again! The story wasn’t fitting for the final run of episodes of the last full season of the show, and also squeezing in end-of-season plot points to Dig’s hard-earned solo storyline was a disservice to his character; he deserved a true standalone episode with no distractions. Also, where the hell was the spartan logo in the credits??? RUDE!   

Felicity

Although not as explicitly as last week, Felicity was still a focal point in this episode, hurtling her story towards the end of the season, for Emily’s final episodes 😭😭. I loved seeing badass Felicity (since always😉), pulling a gun on the random Irish Ninth Circle dude! She was so brave, if not a bit reckless, but this is the hero Felicity Smoak has grown into over the past 7 years, and I love her all the more for it! Alena brandishing a keyboard was a hilarious bonus!

Perhaps Felicity’s most heroic act in the episode is destroying her ‘legacy’, Archer (who she refers to as ‘her’…so adorable!!), in order to stop the Ninth Circle from using it to target anyone else. She has a bit of a eureka!moment, when she realises just how dangerous her creation could be in the wrong hands, despite her best intentions for creating it.

Source: smoakmonster

I loved her drawing a parallel between herself and her father (although unfairly, I believe), knowing that in the future she literally pretends to the whole world that she becomes The Calculator, again in the pursuit of saving the city. In the face of this, she says she still wants to leave something behind that is from Felicity Smoak, not Overwatch. My love for this character knows no bounds!

So by the end of the episode we realise that Archer won’t be the basis for Smoak Tech. Seeing Felicity talking Smoak Tech business with Alena was awesome, and I can’t wait to find out what she creates to launch her company, as we know how successful it becomes in the future! I also loved seeing Alena’s faith and encouragement of Felicity.

Source: arrowdaily

Ah Alena…I knew this was too good to be true! Despite her clear love and faith in Felicity, it looks like Alena is not ready to give up on Archer, and will likely rebuild (albeit with good intentions, I still believe). But it looks like Alena will be the one responsible for the Archer program ultimately ending up back in the hands of the bad guys, be it the Ninth Circle, or ultimately Galaxy One. Felicity is undeterred by losing Archer, and knows she has more to give, to create in this world, as she simply says about her legacy “I guess I’ll just have to build a new one” 😍😍

Bonus:

All of Felicity’s helmet-talk in this episode made me giggle! (I’m immature, ok!!)

“John’s helmet just came back online”, and “Madame Helmet” in the flash forwards 😂😂😂 

Olicity

The Olicity moments were definitely far more subtle in this episode, as they arguably should be in a Diggle centric episode, but I still would have liked mooooore...I’m a greedy Olicity whore, sue me 😂😂

We got some little hand holding moments, which will just never not make me swoon 😍

Along with the Felicity-patented chest rub 😍

Source: lucyyh 💗

Finishing each other’s sentences 😍

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 💗

Then just Olicity being a badass vigilante team, saving John, and hacking/breaking into classified government sites 😍

Source: smoakmonster

I would have liked to see more of Oliver’s reaction to Felicity and Alena’s attack; he showed such restraint when checking she’s ok!!

Flash Forwards

I am a big fan of the flash forwards, and I loved them in this episode!! Still missing my boy William though…please come back soon!! The plot was pushed forwards, we got some nice character backstory for Connor, and some quality SmoaknHawke moments. Nice to see the writers can still do some things concisely and effectively!

We opened with Felicity working on the Galaxy One Helmet that Laurel gave to Mia last episode. I adore that despite the many changes to Felicity in the future, she still exclaims “frack”!! In order to get data from the helmet, Mia and Connor need to go in search of a power module. This leads them to the Deathstroke Gang (!!!), where their leader, JJ, is referenced!! JJ DIGGLE GUYS!!!! I can’t believe he ended up one of the bad guys…baby Sara would never!!

Connor opens up to Mia about JJ being his adoptive brother, and former best friend 😭, though they have lost touch ever since JJ went dark after becoming overwhelmed with the expectations he felt pushed on him by Dig and Lyla….whaaaaat???! I can’t wait to meet future Dyla and JJ!  I’m so into this family drama already haha!! I loved seeing this talk, and mutual understanding between Mia and Connor, I ship them so hard already! I also liked seeing the softer side of Mia again, she definitely has a gooey centre like her parents…just buried deep 😂

As they are chased out by JJ’s goons we get an epic almost-kiss that had me squealing KISS HER!!!!!

At the end of the episode, Felicity finally discovers that the helmet is one of many that are all interconnected and running the weaponised version of Archer. As they come to realise the implications of this we see the army of Galaxy One soldiers lining up, super chilling! I love where this story is heading, and look forward to seeing these parts of the episode every week!

Oliver/Emiko/Ninth Circle

While Oliver’s love and faith in his family is generally one of his most endearing qualities, Oliver….honey….give it up, Emiko is EVIL. I am so utterly bored of Emiko now. She is a waste of screen time, an unnecessary distraction for Oliver and a drain on my patience 😡

Oliver tells Emiko that Dante killed her mother, that he misled her, that he doesn’t care about her, but that Oliver still does. Oh Oliver 😭😭

By the end of the episode Emiko decides to kill Dante (bye then!), and continue her path as head of the Ninth Circle, now that they are in possession of the experimental bioweapon. So that’s another villain offed this season. Beth and Steven said pre/early S7 in interviews that there wouldn’t necessarily be a big bad this year, which I guess is what they’re going for by killing every attempt at one. Emiko certainly isn’t big bad material herself. The writers seem to be using this season to wrap up Felicity’s story, launch the flash forwards, and set up season 8 (and possibly the crossover?). But in trying to do all of this they are sacrificing this season’s storylines, which is annoying me slightly. At this point in the season we normally have an idea of the trajectory of the final few episodes, but it’s still not really clear. Given that this is the final season for Arrow as we know it, this is super frustrating.

Hmm, for a bit of a meh episode, this still got long…oops!

Thank you to all the wonderful gif makers, as always. You guys rock!! 💗💗

[timeoutforthee]

More Guardian Angel!Remy

“So be mean and get drunk? That’s what you my guardian angel is encouraging?”

“Yes. Be mean, get drunk, punch homophobes.”

Taglist: @scrapbookofsketches, @thekeytohappiness-is-you, @khadij-al-kubra, @beautifully-terribly

TW: one homophobic slur, slight violence, and drinking

Disclaimer: I don’t really know what I’m doing, but this story just keeps getting longer. So. Also this chapter was inspired by this amazing post by @awkward-turtle-patton

“You did what?”

“Oh my God, it’s totally not a big deal. The kid wanted proof. I lowered my sunglasses. Big deal.”

“Yes big deal! Very big deal!” Nate sighs and rubs his temples, “Remy, why are you like this?”

“Um, better question, why are you such a buzzkill?”

“Because I take my job seriously, Remy, unlike you-”

“Oh, just because I want my charges to work for their success instead of rearranging everything around them so that everything falls into their lap-”

“I don’t want my charges to suffer, Remy!”

“So instead you’ve just created waves and waves of self-entitled dickheads-”

“I should have gotten Virgil-”

“For fuck’s sake, it’s been 22 years, let it go-”

“If I had, he would have been a respected intern in an office right now-”

“He would have given up art, Nate!”

“So?!”

“If you would get your head out of your own ass-”

“Well at least my ass has wings!”

And, okay, rude. He definitely didn’t have to go there. Remy purses his lips, and even with the sunglasses, Nate can feel the glare behind them.

A guardian got their wings when they significantly changed the outcome of their charge’s life. Nate had made it his mission, as a guardian angel, to rearrange their lives until they had the most power possible. Remy was more focused on happiness, and honestly, who knew their own happiness better than the human? That’s why he stayed back and let them have most of the control. It’s also why he still didn’t have his wings yet.

Which he wasn’t bitter about. At all.

“Fine,” he said, “I’ll go back and check on Virgil.”

^

Virgil was going to be okay.

That was a mantra he had repeated to himself since day one, and now he had a guardian angel to confirm it. Which should, in theory, be comforting. Except he had found out that his guardian angel was kind of a mess, which was fitting, really, and Virgil couldn’t really judge. Still, maybe he should, like, pray or something and request a switch. Could he do that? He really should have asked more questions. Did it even matter who it was? How could he trust that a random guy could have his destiny all planned out?

Remy told him to trust fate. Until yesterday, he didn’t even believe in fate. He believed in choices and consequences. He made the wrong choice by studying art, and he was suffering as his consequence.

He gripped his beer a little tighter. He didn’t know why his co-workers had asked him to come out tonight. He didn’t particularly like any of them, and he had a feeling they didn’t really like him, either. But his choices for the night were either sulking in the bar or sulking at home. And he was getting really tired of his mother fluttering around him like he was a directionless teenager again. He was a directionless twenty two year old, thank you very much.

He tipped his bottle back and tried to change his line of thinking.

I’ve come a long way. Just to end up in the same place- I have friends. Who haven’t called- I have professors on my side, professors who believe in me. Too bad you’re disappointing them-

The bartender sat a glass filled with dark brown liquid in front of him. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s this?”

“Black Russian,” the bartender replied, then he pointed, “From that guy.”

Virgil turned. There, lounging on a chair across from the bar, was Remy. His glasses were still in place, but his Starbucks cup was replaced with a wine glass.

He looked back at the bar. He needed some stupid angel magic to get him out of this mess. He needed to know why destiny put him back here. He needed something.

Remy didn’t offer him anything, except for this. A very, very human way to forget.

What the hell?

Virgil twisted in his seat, raising the glass. Remy raised his in response.

“Here’s to you, Remy,” then he downed it.

^

Oooooh, he was dead. Nate was absolutely going to kill him.

But, like, honestly? Worth it.

Virgil did not get drunk often. He was always so carefully guarded, and having all those walls come crumbling down in the blink of an eye was not something he actually wanted to do. Most of the time.

“It’s bullshit, if another entitled angry white man comes into the God damn store and asks me why ‘is card isn’ working I’mma scream. Sir, I am paid to take your money, my degree is in art how the everlovin’ fuck should I know the inner workin’s of a GAS PUMP?!” Virgil slurred as he stood on top of the bar.

The patrons were starting to become uncomfortable. Mainly because they were entitled, angry white men who definitely have told off someone in customer service at least once. The bartenders, however, seemed to be entertained, and were hesitant to yank him down.

Okay, also Remy had, like, a little bit of influence.

“And you know what else I hate?”

“Virgil, maybe you should-”

“Shhh!” Virgil said, raising a finger to his lips to cut off a co-worker, “I hate when pregnant mothers come in and buy cigarettes. Like, it’s 2018, are we still doing this? And like, fine, I guess you do you, but fucking secondhand smoke issa thing.”

Virgil trailed off as he stared in wonder at the ceiling. Remy noticed that the song in the background was changing. “I LOVE this song!”

Virgil slowly started swaying to the music. Remy clapped a hand over his mouth. He was so, so dead, but his human was having fun, and didn’t he deserve that?

However, it was brought to a halt when someone shouted “Fag!” at him from across the bar.

Virgil stopped and narrowed his eyes. He scanned the crowd until he landed on the guy, some rando with a trucker hat. He jumped off, with far more grace than he really should have, and stalked over to him.

As he got closer, the guy started to second guess if that was exactly a good idea. Virgil may have been lanky, but he was currently towering over him with a fire burning behind his eyes. They stared at each other for brief moment before Virgil swung and decked him. Between the punch and the surprise, the guy fell off the stool he was sitting on.

“Yes!” Remy cried, standing up. He technically should be against violence, but honestly? He was against homophobia more. Punch more homophobes, 2k18.

The bartenders headed over to kick Virgil out, but he just waved them off with a slurred “‘m goin’, ‘m goin’.”

His guardian angel followed him out, finding him sprawled on a patch of grass.

“V, honey? You good?”

“Mmmmhmmm. I’m stargazing,” he said, pronouncing his words carefully. Remy glanced up. Whoa. He had never really been on Earth at night time. He didn’t know the stars looked this beautiful. Pausing briefly, he laid down next to his human.

“Remy?”

“Hm?”

“I’m gonna regret this tomorrow, aren’t I?”

“Oh, honey, I don’t need to look into the future to see that.”

“D’you look into my future a lot?”

Remy sighs, “Kinda. I have a few charges, and they all have multiple outcomes based on life choices that they make everyday. I can’t look into every choice or option you have, especially since I know I probably won’t step in. But I always look at the major ones.”

“Thas a lotta big words fer you,” Virgil says, still staring at the sky.

“I’ve been around for centuries, doll, I can speak as fancy as I want to. I just don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Oh my God, you sound like my coworkers. Like honestly? It’s not that deep. I talk like this because I want to. I drink Starbucks because I want to. I wear these sunglasses because I want to,” he pauses, “I may be an angel, but I’m not above enjoying humanity.”

“Y’know, I bet if I was sober, that’d be real deep.”

“I literally said it wasn’t that deep-”

“Shhhhh,” Virgil says, bringing a finger to Remy’s lips.

Okay. Maybe he should have cut Virgil off a little bit earlier.

Suddenly Virgil is moving his arms so that he’s hugging Remy to him. He lays his head on his shoulder.

“V? You good?”

“I don’ get hugs anymore, leave me ‘lone,” Virgil says, “So, how does the angel thing...work?”

“Okay, first, you have to be more specific. Second, work is boring and I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“D’you like it?”

Remy pauses, let’s silence hang in the air for a bit.

“Yes,” because he does. He doesn’t like some of his coworkers’ snide remarks or judginess. But he likes seeing humans rise to the occasion, likes seeing all the twists and turns their life could take, likes to see where they ultimately choose to go.

Virgil nods, his cheek rubbing against Remy’s shoulder. Actually, now that they’re cuddling, Remy can’t remember the last time someone hugged him. He reaches over and brushes a few purple locks off of Virgil’s forehead.

“Don’t do that, I’ll fall asleep…”

“Honey, I’ve seen your sleeping habits. You need it.”

“Ruuuuuuuuude,” Virgil says, then, “Why’re you here?”

“My boss was worried you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing an angel. It’s a lot for humans, sometimes.”

“Tell your boss I am a-ok.”

Remy laughs, “Considering the circumstances, I think he’ll have some other things to say.”

“Whaaaaat? You mean you’re not supposed to get drunk with your clients?”

“Okay, the only one drunk here is you, I was kicked out before the party started-”

“Wait, wait, wait-d’you make my coworkers invite me out tonight?”

“Nope, that was all them. I know you’ll find this shocking, but people like you, Virgil.”

“But I do not like them,” Virgil blinks, “Do they have tragic backstories? Should I be nicer?”

“You’re already nice-”

“Thanks, I have anxiety.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ve noticed. But honestly, you should try and get a liiiiittle bit meaner. Like, your comebacks are iconic, and it’s truly tragic I’m the only one that’s heard them.”

“So be mean and get drunk? That’s what you my guardian angel is encouraging?”

“Yes. Be mean, get drunk, punch homophobes.”

Virgil laughs.

“And, like, for realsies? Your co-workers have been through some stuff, but mostly, they’re just a result of living in this place. Call it a small town curse.”

Virgil nods, then quietly says, “Remy?”

“Yeah?”

“Am I gonna end up like them?”

“I already told you, V, there are bigger things in store for you.”

“I know,” Virgil yawns, “But I don’t believe you.”

“I’m not surprised,” Remy says. He glances down. Virgil is resting his head on his shoulder with his eyes closed. Remy sighs. He needs to give the kid some tiny spark of hope, enough to encourage him but minor enough that he doesn’t change the outcome of his life.

No pressure.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E7

Whoa, wait, are we gonna see Tommy Elliot again?  Whaaaaat?

“Called dibs on my [Harvey’s] office?”  Haa...

What the... are those bloody boxes?

*jams out to opening theme*

Bruce!

*Bruce berates a waiter for bumping into him*  Dude!

“I [Alfred] know that you’re [Bruce] hurting.”  Damn right, he’s hurting.

*sighs*  Bruce...

“James, I am so happy we are working hand in hand to rid the city of this menace.”  God dammit, Oswald.

“I’m Headhunter.”  Who the heck is that?

“Recommended by Victor, who is off visiting his bubble.”  What?

“[Harvey] Are you out of your frickin’ mind?”  Literally 50% of what comes out of Jim’s mouth this season is freaking amazing.

I actually do like how much Tabitha looks out for Selina, even if she doesn’t admit to it half the time.

*gasps when someone tries throwing a TV down at the officers below*

Hey, it’s the MTV opening!

Jim’s like “I soooooooo don’t like thiss...”

“[Grace] Why aren’t you in school?”  “‘Cause it’s Saturday.”  *chuckles*

*gasps when Headhunter drags the witness’s dying father out into the street*

“Thanks, Jim.  You know, I [Headhunter] never really did the whole good cop bad cop thing.”  Jesus...

I want Jim to at least land one punch in that dude’s face before this episode ends.  Is that too much to ask?

*gasps when one of the missing officers is revealed to be alive*

Penguin, what’s with your hair?!?

*cracks up when Penguin refers to one of the orphans as “little person”*

“Don’t ask for my opinion if you [Oswald] don’t want to hear it.”  Yeah.... I’m gonna side with Sofia on that one

*The Street Demons mistakenly kill one of their own with a motorcycle*  OOOOHHHHHH!!

Holy crap, there’s a bunch of bloody bandages in the back of that ambulance!  Isn’t there a sanitation trash bag they can put that in or...

“You’re one of the good ones, Jim.”  *smiles*

*Bruce meets Tommy Elliot again*  EEEYYY!!!

Who’s the actor that plays Brant here?  For some reason, he reminds me of someone I know but I don’t know who...

*gasps when Bruce beats up Brant for insulting Alfred*

OOHHH IT’S A DREAM!  It wasn’t real.  Thank God.

*Oswald comes to the crime scene*  NOOOOOOOO

Ominous angry zoom-in!

Selina:  Mom, come get me.  I’m in trouble.

Tabitha:  Ugh.

Why the hell is the press here at a potential crime scene?

Yeah, yeah, I know, First Amendment and all, but really?

“I can't recreate you if you're, you know, dead.  Which you will be if you go in there.”  Wait, is Pyg watching them like right now?

“Why should I [Jim] believe anything you [Pyg] have to say?”  “Because... you’re one of the good ones, Jim.”  *gasps*

*jams out to club music playing*

“Let me [Brant] talk to the owner.”  “You’re standing next to him [Bruce].”  OH SNAP!

*Bruce steals Brant’s sunglasses and puts them on*  OOHHHHHH!

“I’m [Harvey] with Penguin on this one...”  Seriously?!?

*Some of Headhunter’s men bar Jim from entering the courthouse*  Dude!

“Hello?  Yoo hoo?”  *gasps*

Barbara!

*Selina, Tabitha, and Barbara walk out together*  Gotham City Sirens!

*gasps when Harvey shoots Fake!Pyg*

*The trap goes off*  WHAAAAATT

*Gordon takes one of Headhunter’s henchmen’s guns and goes in himself*  YESSS!!

*Gordon shoots down Pyg’s gatling guns*  WHOO!

Welp, this bitch just saved everyone’s lives.  You’re welcome!

“[Jim] How did you find the courage to run in and save all of those people?”  Because he has balls of steel

Harvey...

Wait, so to pose as one of the injured officers, did Pyg just beat the crap out of himself or what?

*Pyg starts removing all of his prosthetics*  Ohhhh...

Oh those spotlights in the Lounge are awesome!

*gasps when Oswald stabs Headhunter in the neck and stomach*

“I [Grace] always knew there was another side to you Bruce Wayne.”  Oh no.

Oh no.

*Bruce kisses Grace*  OHHHHH!!

*Bruce goes into full party mode*  Oh no.

Umm. he is 17!  There is no way he should have been allowed there in the first place!  This is underage drinking!

I will not allow this!

*sighs*

*The GCPD decides not to accept the licenses anymore*  YEET

Harvey...

[libralita]

Title: A Darker Shade of Magic

Author: V.E. Schwab

Summary: Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black.

Kell was raised in Arnes—Red London—and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see.

Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they'll never see. It's a defiant hobby with dangerous consequences, which Kell is now seeing firsthand.

After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure.

Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Review:

The world and magic system is so fascinating, I really enjoy Kell but DEAR LORD I HATE LILA! It’s ironic she likes ships so much because she single handedly sank this book from a four or five star to three. Will not be continuing with this series. I just cannot stand Lila and can’t suffer another book with her in it. This series is not for me.

So, this is what the Cosmere in 80 years is going to be like?

“Why anyone would ever pretend to be weak was beyond her.”—Page 66

Have you ever heard of acting inconspicuous?

I hate the voice the narrator gave Astrid. Athos’s isn’t much better.

I hate thieves, so Lila isn’t my favorite. She needs to stop being stubborn and eat the damn food.

“‘This isn’t a life!’ she’d shouted, the handful of things she owned shoved under her arm. ‘This isn’t anything. It’s not enough. It’s not fucking enough.’”—Page 139

Lila is a fucking brat.

“Lila gave him a derisive glare and fondled the stone. ‘Oh, no’ she said. ‘I’m just getting stared.’”—Page 147

Lila is fucking insufferable.

Y’know people always complain about how men are so bad at writing female characters but Victoria Schwab is the absolute worst. First Kate from This Savage Song I can’t be bothered to remember her name and now Lila who is insufferable.

Idiot, you could at least sell the sword. If it starts talking then I’m pretty sure this is part of the cosmere.

What is Holland doing with Lila?

“He didn’t have to—didn’t have any reason to—but he had, all the same, and the weight of it clung to her when she fled, slowing her down before finally dragging her boots to a stop.”—Page 177

Ah, so you have no honor. Why am I supposed to like this bratty, honor-less thief?

“I’m starting to get a decent idea of what it can do. if you want it back, tell me the rest.”—Page 189

Oh my god would I slap Lila.

We’re going to Black London. Also, haha Black London suffered a plague…A BLACK PLAGUE.

“Because I want to see the world, even if it’s not mine. And because I will save your life.”—Page 197

Lila, you’re insufferable.

Can’t you just kill Lila?

“Kell smiled back. And then Lila brought her free hand to his jaw and tugged his mouth toward hers. The kiss was there and then gone, like one of her smiles.”—Page 205

I don’t ship it.

“‘I’m so glad you’re all right, Lila,’ she parroted. ‘Thank God using the stone didn’t rip you into a thousand thieving pieces.’”—Page 224

Who’s idea was this? Oh yeah! YOURS.

Lila, you have Barron…we had and you keep rejecting it.

Lila feels powerful when killing people. Our hero!

Can we kill Lila and just have Rhy and Kell go on this adventure?

“‘This whole place is warded,’ answered Kell. ‘Against locator spells. And against thieving, so put that back.’”—Page 262

God, Lila is dumb.

Well, there goes Fletcher.

Ah, shit it’s a trap.

“The stone pulsed in her pocket, luring her with its easy answer, but she’d made a decision not to use the magic again, not unless she had no other choice. It took too much, and did so with the quiet cunning of a thief.”—Page 283

Look! Lila has a brain cell!

“Lila would rather steal a thing outright than be indebt to kindness.”—Page 287

I mean that would require you to be kind yourself.

Rhy, you kidnapped Kell?

Astrid has Rhy. Well fuck.

I’m so certain that Rhy is going to die.

“[Or] perhaps I will go with you to the end of the world.”—Page 327

Oh, poor Kell.

*sighhhsssssss* oh Lila lost her eye. Gee, I wonder what that means.

“Kell had warned her of this world—he’d called it dangerous—but so much of Lila’s own world had fit that term, so she hadn’t given it much stock. After all, he’d grown up in a palace and she’d grown up on the streets, and Lila thought she knew a good bit more about bad alleys and worse men than Kell.”—Page 335

Oh brother.

I think I’d rather have Holland and Kell go on this epic adventure than Lila.

Lila, why didn’t you shoot Astrid?

Whaaaaat Rhy didn’t die? I’m so shocked.

Still don’t ship Kell and Lila.

Kell, she’s missing an eye.

Kell and Rhy have such better chemistry than Lila.

[wlwhc]

I hate you

Anon ask: The team noticing hickies on the readers neck and daisy being smug about it

Warning: none?

(A/N): this sucks

Masterlist / Prompt List / Fandom List / Ask me anything!

Last night was a long night, but it was totally worth it. Your girlfriend Daisy came back from a long mission yesterday and she missed you a lot, and let just say that she showed you how much she missed you in bed. But now you ha to go to work, and your body was covered on hickeys, Daisy was dressing next to you, and her eyes were laid on you, a huge smirk was decorating her face.

“well look at that~” She said, looking at the hickeys on your neck

“I hate you, why I have to be the one dealing with the hickeys the day after?” 

“because you love me and my lips on your skin” She said, kissing you “plus, everybody should know the I’m dating you” she was kissing your jaw now

“Everybody knows this D-Daisy” you said, having  a little trouble to formulate the words

“well seems like the snake from last night didn’t suspect a thing, cause she couldn’t stop flirting with you “ She said, leaving kisses on your neck

“d-don’t you dare Daisy Johnson! no more hick-shit” you manage to say, Daisy’s lips were nibbling your skin making your legs feel like jelly

“you loved it~” she said smiling at you “good luck trying to hide those new ones” She said after she left the room.

“I love you…but I hate you”

Mack was the first one noticing the purple bruises on your neck, and started teasing you about it. You didn’t want to put on a scarf in the middle of the summer, so you just put some make up one, praying that the magical product would cover Daisy’s marks. But it seems that it didn’t work so much. After that Mack had tease you enough, Fitz gets caught up in the mix, He was rambling about a new gadget for his drones, until Mack made another comment that made Fitz take a lil look at your neck, and with that, the two grow up men, started to behave like children. You left the room trying to find your girlfriend so you can tell her how fun was being your day, but unfortunately, Jemma and May were having a chat right in the middle of the hallway, a hallway that you had to take to get to your girlfriend. You tried to avoid them but May notice your weird behavior and approached you to see if everything was fine.

“Hey Y/N, everything okay?” May asked. You tried to cover your neck with your hair like before, but fail miserably

“y-yeah yeah awesome~” You trying said walking away “I’ve to go to get Daisy-”

“Yeah If I were you I’ll kill her for those” She mumble looking at your neck

“-We talk later!” And with that, you left

“Y/N was attacked by a weird alien bat” May said at Jemma

“whaaaaat?!”

You finally reach the kitchen, searching for the inhuman, that was normally with her head inside the refrigerator. This time she was sitting on one of the couches taping some things on her notebook.

“I hate you” You said, throwing at her one of the pillows that were on the couches

“ouch! why?” She said

“Everyone is saying something about this!” You said pointing at your neck

“sooooo?~” She said grinning like an idiot

“Does anyone know who ate my chocolate cake?” Coulson asked searching on the refrigerator

“I think that this young lady over here a-” You tried to say , but Daisy covered your mouth before you could say anything

“Daisy, did you ate my ca-Oh God , are injured?” Coulson asked looking at your neck. May and Jemma appear out of nowhere

“SHE WAS ATTACK BY AN ALIEN BAT!” She exclaim, trying hard not to laugh

“WHAT?!” Coulson said

“what?” You said

“da fuck?” Daisy said, laughing at the scene

“yeah, a very rare and annoying alien bat” May said, sending a look at Coulson, and with that he understood

“jesuschrist , kids these days” he said with a sigh getting back to search for his cake. Daisy was still laughing behind

“You should be more gentle with your girlfriend” May said at Daisy

“it wasn’t me! it was the alien bat~” She said laughing once again

“I hate you” You said ,

“No you don’t” She said, giving a lil kiss on your cheek.

I still suck at ending and titles wohoo!

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Scarlet Heart Ryeo: Episode 17 Part 1 (Spoilers)

Ok Hae Soo is back and running things again and doesn’t respond when Chae Rung tells her Jung has a plan to get out her out of the castle. Good. Sorry Jung my son but you can’t marry Soo, she is So’s future intended

Woo Hee is reporting that So is not doing efficient work…why girl? Is this part of the plan? Is she SPYING for Yo?!? NO. Pls say Baek Ah and them know about this and she is a double spy. I am confused and unhappy…ok apparently she has been trying to do this for her people, but it hasn’t been doing much good…

HECK NO YO IS TRYING TO BLACKMAIL HER BY SAYING HE WILL TELL BAEK AH THAT SHE IS HIS “DOG” YO I HATE YOU AND I HATE THAT I LOVE YOUR CHARACTER BUT ALSO I HATE YOU

umm either Yo is going crazy or someone is haunting him, or making him feel haunted and IT LOOKS LIKE EUN AND TOSSES THE BROKEN ARROWS THAT HURT EUN AND TELL HIM TO REMEMBER PAST BONDS!!!

WHOA AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE HIS DAD HAS SHOWN UP TO JOIN THE HAUNTING AND

YO FALLS OVER?

OOOOOHHHHHHHH YEAH WANG SO AND THE BOYS (BAEK AH INCLUDED) ARE HERE DECKED OUT IN BLACK AND SILK MASKS I LOVE

ALSO SO HESITATES TO LEAVE (DOES HE FEEL A SMALL BIT OF COMPASSION FOR YO EVEN NOW?? MY SON

Wook runs in looking all genuinely worried for Yo for about 2 seconds before he is like AHA my time has come. The self-centered little toad

AAAAAHHHHH HAE SOO TOLD SO THAT’S SHE DOESN’T LIKE HIM WANTING TO BE KING BUT SHE NEEDS TO BE WITH HIM SO OK WHATEVER HE WANTS AAAHHH! SHE JUST REMINDS HIM AGAIN NOT TO KILL HIS BROTHERS *cue me tearing up just because everything*

UMMMMM I think things are about to go down but Hae Soo is in with the king not good

Aw drat Yo is blaming Soo for everything, saying that because she helped So cover his scar So took what was his and set Yo on the course of killing his bros…dude take some dang responsibility for your own actions…or maybe blame your mom she sure hasn’t been innocent in this

THE REBELLION HAS BEGUN! BUT SOO IS IN THE ROOM IN THE WRONG PLACE

OOOOOHHHHHHHH evil queen tells Yo to abdicate to Jung so they can “save the throne”

Aw nooooooooooo no no now finally Yo sees the depths of his mother’s love for him–or rather the lack thereof. NO NOW I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE YO IS CRYING “WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME? AM I EVEN YOUR SON? OR JUST SOMETHING THAT EXISTS TO SIT ON THE THRONE” NOOOO WHYYY FEELS WHYY

Oh GOSH THE QUEEN BLINKS AND LOOKS TAKEN ABACK BUT SHE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING SOOTHING JUST DON’T BE THIS WAY WE NEED THE THRONE

AND

YO SAYS HE UNDERSTANDS SO NOW

AND ORDERS THAT YOO BE REMOVED

Soo you should probably run. Just saying

OMG OMG OMG WHAAAAAT JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!?!?! QUEEN HWANGBO ASKED HWA TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOVE AND HWA SAID THE WORLD AND SO–THE QUEEN SAID SHE WOULD THROW WOOK AWAY WHAAAAAT WHAT THE HECK HAS HAPPENED HOW HAS EVERY SINGLE FAMILY FALLEN APART WHY

I MEAN I WOULD THROW WOOK AWAY TOO BUT FOR VERY DIFFERENT REASONS. THIS IS WHY SELFISHNESS AND GREED ARE SO AWFUL. IT ALWAYS ALWAYS COSTS LOVE AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY

*sighs*

OK now the general and Wang So and Baek Ah are out front ready to take on the palace and of course we all know that So looks wicked awesome in that armor and his side swept bangs but can we…can we just set aside a moment and note that Baek Ah also looks ridiculously attractive in that armor! Backing up his older bro :) MY SOFT SWEET LOYAL SON MY ARTIST AND MUSICIAN IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU IN THIS FIGHT I SWEAR

Um what is Lady Hwa doing??

Yo is having like both a literal and figurative heart attack right now and I actually feel sorry for him. He was afraid if being thrown away like So :(

Side note I find it very interesting that the three people he rather deliriously asks Hae Soo to choose from as the next king are Wook, whom he has thought for a while now is a traitorous wretch, So, whom he has despised for So long but now actually feels some kinship with (and who is incidentally leading a rebellion against him now), and Baek Ah. Yes. Not Jung, the perfect younger brother whom Yoo wanted to crown, not Won, the brother who has seemed most loyal to him through it all, but Baek Ah. I wonder why he says Baek Ah. Because it is ridiculous to him? Because Baek Ah has quietly been supporting So since forever?

YO WRITES AND GIVES SOO THE PAPER AND SAYS HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO SURVIVE :( AND THEN HE DIES :( MY EVIL EYELINER SON HAS PASSED ON FOR REAL :(

Why does Soo have to see so much death :(

And So walks in looks a bit fierce but then he sees Soo and Yo and he just kind of stops

WAIT WHAT. So reads Yo’s final proclamation, asks Soo if she read it, receives a negative, and then proceeds to tear it to shreds? Why?? Did it say one of his brothers that So doesn’t want to be king? Or…maybe it said So, but So is giving that up for Soo? WHAT IS HAPPENING

Okay evil queen could look slightly more upset that her eldest son has died…

OMG AAAAAHHHHHH HAE SOO SUDDENLY KNEELS BEFORE SO AND DECLARES HONOR AND EVERYTHING TO WANG SO SHE IS THE FIRST TO PROCLAIM HIM KING I CAN’T OMG!!!!!!! AND HE LOOKS TAKEN ABACK

BUT THEN HE SAYS YEAH I AM KING AND EVIL QUEEN IS LIKE WUT AND SEEMS VERY TICKED OFF I LOVE IT

MEANWHILE EVERYONE IS BOWING TO WANG SO AND I LIVE

LOOK AT MY SON ALL GROWN UP AND GETTING KINGED. BAEK AH LOOKS SO PROUD OF HIM. SO PROUD

Ugh Lady Hwa has once again managed to worm her way into people’s good graces :/

Wook is sitting in his office/study sulking like the loser he is. Why isn’t he arrested yet. Can we throw him jail pls thanks

Um Soo looks gorgeous and So looks gorgeous and now he is king CAN THEY PLEASE GET MARRIED ALREADY CMON GUYS

awwww Soo is so happy for So and thinks he will no longer be remember as a bloody monarch and thinks that she will help him OTP

Wook and Hwa are each a mess. Gosh. Somewhere deep deep in side of me I feel the faintest twinge of regret for what a good person Wook could been but that’s it. I am so done with him and his angsting and his hurt little self. You did that pretty much on your own dude. Hwa…you pretty on the outside but I would not wanna see your heart, because that’s pretty twisted at this point…

Ok like I get why the general wants to go home, how his heart hurts because of his daughter but…can he NOT keep casting shade towards So? He had NOTHING to do with that. And he only killed Eun because Eun asked him to send him on to his wife? And btw GUESS WHO TRAINED SO IN THE WAY OF THE SWORD?! YOU BRO. CAN YOU PLZ GIVE MY SON A HAND OR FAILING THAT AT LEAST A BREAK?

AAAHHH SO KEEPS ASKING HIM TO STAY HE WANTS HELP AND WISDOM AND HE CAN’T EVEN GET THAT?! MY HEART MY POOR SON

GENERAL YOU TELL HIM TO BE A GOOD AND WISE KING BUT HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE A WISE KING WITHOUT GOOD MEN TO ADVISE HIM? GOSH

SO IS SAD :( HE SAYS THE GENERAL IS AFRAID OF HIM NOOOOOOO COMFORT HIM SOO

AWWW SO ASKS SOO IF SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YO’S PAPER SAID, TO KNOW IF SO STILE THE THRONE AND SOO SAYS NO SHE IS THE LEAST CURIOUS OF ALL SHE IS PLACING SO MUCH TRUST IN HIM AND WHO HE WILL BE AS A PERSON AND A KING AND HE IS JUST SITTING THERE LOOKING SO ALONE AND UNSURE I CAN’T

AWWW THE PAPER WAS BLANK AND HE DIDN’T WANT MORE CONFUSION SO HE RIPPED IT UP AWW MY SWEET SON

AND HAE SOO COVERS HIS HAND WITH HERS AAAAAHHHH!!! AND SHE SAYS SHE IS RIGHT HERE AND WILL NOT LEAVE AND LEANS HER HEAD AGAINST HIS SHOULDER AND PATS HIS HAND AND I FREAKING CANNOT HE LEANS INTO HER MY HEART I AM SO HAPPY OTP OTP AAAAHHH

[hoenursey]

Hi, can I ask the I guess story of Othello real quick even just a summary if you don't want to go in depth because I was excited about hearing about it, but then I was also really thrown off seeing Othello being a slave and all and now I'm just kinda confused?? Because Nursey in silk with a choking kink DOES sound amazing but I guess I'm just confused af now

lmao, okay, so. originally i was writing just an au of nursey and dex playing desdemona and othello, respectively. however, othello’ character background is that he was a former slave and a moorsman, or a person from the moor, and moorsmen are black people.

the beginning of othello starts with roderigo and iago outside of the house of brabantion, desdemona’s father. roderigo is jealous of othello because he’s in love with desdemona and she pretty much turned everyone down and she’s like dainty and pretty and hot as fuck, like the most beautiful fair girl ever and shit, but she’s falling in love with othello. also i’m pretty sure roderigo saw her and othello chilling or w/e. so basically, in the middle of the fuckening night, roderigo and iago start yelling to brabantion to come outside and talk to them. brabantion is generally a pretty cool dad and he’s like “bitch she doesn’t like u stop getting drunk and coming to my house my daughter turned ur ass down already”, rod and iago proceed to say a bunch of racist shit and say “check her bed she’s out being a slut with a black dude lol” to which dadbra says “she would never she’s so sweet and she’s also turned down literally everyone who’s ever wanted to date her” but desi, my girl, is actually gone from her bed, so dadbra is like “you’re right!!! i can’t believe my daughter is fucking around before marriage in the middle of the night!!! i trusted her!!! time to go chase after othello, who i welcomed into my house, with a bunch of pitchforks” which they do. they show up to othello’s crib like “what’s up here’s our accusations time to throw you in jail for fucking my daughter because if she turned down all the hot dudes in the entire city she’s definitely not gonna fuck a black dude out of wedlock unless there was some type of witchcraft involved” to and othello is like “uhh okay cool i’m dealing with the house of senators rn so like. can this wait a second my dudes” and they’re like “perfect! we’re gonna show them what a terrible black dude you are!”

they go in front of the senators and they’re like “what’s the sitch why is this angry mob here my dude” dadbra is like “uh he fucked my daughter, i’m sending him to jail for witchcraft or kidnapping bc there’s literally no other way she’d fuck a black dude when she doesn’t even like these hot white dudes”

othello’s like “uh actually i married her”

everyone: “what”

and he kind of explains like “buddy yeah i’m not super good with words so i’m not gonna bs you. i married your daughter. no kidnapping, drugging, or witchcraft. she fell in love with me and so now we’re married. she’s at the inn down the street also so like i’m def not fucking her since we’re at my house and she’s at a hotel”

everyone except dadbra is like “oh okay that sounds reasonable” but dadbra is like “you’re telling me that my good white upper class daughter fell in love with a black dude who she’d be afraid to look at? i’m calling bullshit it’s clearly witchcraft”

the duke p much is like “uh… but where’s the receipts tho i don’t see any witchcraft” and the senators are like “go get desdemona so we can confirm this also othello bro keep talking”

othello’s like “yeah i was a warrior and i travelled a lot and dadbra used to like me a lot so he invited me over to hear my stories about the wars and how i fought and battles and being on ships. i told him my entire life story from when i was a kid all the way until now, how i was captured and sold as a slave, how i bought my own freedom and just all types of cool shit and then when she did her chores around the house for dadbra she would come around as soon as she finished and ask me more and ask me to tell her more stories” essentially desi thinks he’s hot and a tragic hero and she’s like “everything that happened to you sucks but you’ve also got some sick ass stories so maybe that makes it a little better? idk sorry all this bad shit happened to you but you’re rly interesting to talk to. if any friends had any stories like yours i’d probably fall in love with them”

othello’s like “yeah uh i’m not that smart and i’m more of a military dude than an intellectual but i know a fucking hint when i see one”

he says the sweetest thing too like “she loved me for the horrors i had been through and that i had the strength to come out on top, and i loved her for feeling so strongly about me and having passion. here comes my wife now and she’ll tell you the exact same story”

desi comes in and is like “yeah dad sorry i shouldn’t have like run out in the middle of the night to get married but i really do love him promise no messing around”

and this is part of the reason i think brabantion is kinda cool bc he’s not actually a racist he just said some shit without rly thinking and let the things that he’s used to hearing influence him and he’s like “oh, well, you’re in love. that’s fine then sorry i didn’t realize. i’m super glad you’re my only daughter because after this whole disaster, if you’d had any younger sisters i know i would have overreacted and acted like a prison warden to them and women don’t deserve that. i’m still a little upset abt u sneaking out in the middle of the night but like blessings on your marriage i guess.

so that’s like…. act one

later on some fuckery happens, iago decides to be a dick, because they’re all together for some reason that i don’t feel like saying idk something abt the turks and also because he’s a miserable worm

cassio is one of their friends who’s also there and he’s, like, some type of foreign i think (probably spanish or italian) and has respect for women and his wife (who’s not there) but bc he’s spanish or italian (probably italian as verona is mentioned and shakespeare REALLY has a thing abt italy??? idk he’s a pasta fucker) or whatever he does the thing where he kisses people on the cheek and because it’s the elizabethan era, he kisses women’s hands, and earlier he had like politely greeted desdemona and iago’s wife and called them beautiful and smart and shit and called iago out on being a misogynistic piece of shit. iago like actively hates his wife and also literally anyone else’s happiness so he’s like i’m gonna fuck up cassio’s life and i’m gonna fuck up othello and desi’s and also he’s a jealous racist misogynistic asshole wants to fuck up othello and desdemona’s (healthy, loving, trusting, equal) relationship so he’s like

"hey othello. ur wife’s a slut. she’s fucking cassio behind ur back lol”

and othello, who thinks his wife is the shit, is like *daveed diggs voice* “whaaaaat”

iago: “yeah totes she’s a massive hoe”

and othello is like “nah not my wife. maybe someone else’s wife, but not mine”

and iago is like “no bro im serious. we’re sleeping in the same bed (i don’t know why i mean his fucking wife is there isn’t she) he’s been having like wet dreams about her and saying ‘damn i wish u weren’t with that black dude’ and he’s been rolling over in his sleep and dry humping me whilst moaning ur wife’s name” (honestly iago the reason you don’t like women is because you’re gay and jealous calm down)

(literally that was so extra i can’t believe how overwhelmingly bisexual shakespeare was that he needed to slide that gay ass shit in there)

anyways othello’s like “okay so that’s a little weird but that doesn’t mean she did anything. maybe cassio just wants to bang my wife. that’s understandable, as id also like to bang my wife” (they’re super into PDA they’re so in love)

iago: fair. also iago: i mean there’s no way to prove it but like… maybe your wife gave him something. like, idk, does she have a hand embroidered handkerchief maybe? just a thought just a thought lolothello: ya i gave that to her as like a courtship gift she never goes anywhere without it bc she loves me so muchiago: yeah well uh i cassio wiping his beard with it so they’re definitely fuckingothello, my dumb son: NO!!! THAT DEFINITELY MEANS THEYRE FUCKING IF MY WIFE GAVE AN ITEM OF GREAT SENTIMENTAL AND PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE TO HIM!!! MY ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY FAITHFUL AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT UP UNTIL THIS POINT WIFE!!!!

so he’s like “uh i have to kill her i guess now :(((((((”

problem is he’s still fucking in love with her like he literally loves her so much and can’t even bear to stab her like a normal person would do if they’re trying to kill their wife, so what does he do? he fucking kisses her awake to explain what he’s doing and why he’s doing it and then gently smothers her to death

so gently, in fact, that she doesn’t actually die, just passes out

a servant walks in and is like “boi what the FUCK”

othello: uh

it’s desi’s handmaiden lmao and he’s like “i had to she’s fucking other men” to which she says “no she’s not you idiot” and then desdemona wakes up to say something dramatic and then properly dies

except no she doesn’t bc othello literally is just really really fucking in love with his wife so he’s an incredibly ineffective murderer despite literally having been in the military for almost all of his life but that’s all i’m explaining bc my hands are tired and i answered this all on mobile plus that’s all you need to know for my story