#i like it so much more than NYC ugh

[finallymyescape]

SHIPPIN' UP TO BOSTON WOOOOAHHHHH

so yeah i'm going up to Boston this whole week to meet up with some friends near and far! (the farthest one coming from Australia) There's a HUGE bath in the Airbnb house we're staying in and I brought TWO bath bombs I'm so excited to take a bath there and read~

[vettelsdarling]

𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐞

Lissie note… Here’s the second winner of the poll. I stupidly duplicated him💀 but just tallied those numbers together. Also yes, I’m trying out new layouts rn so please lmk if this looks great or not<3

Summary: A photographer from the heart of NYC has been in a low-key relationship with Lando Norris for a while now…

————

Things to note:

Reader is a menace tbh

Lando and reader are separated by 2 yrs

Reader is a known photographer (just not famous yk)

————

Pairing: Lando Norris x Photographer!Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Playlist recommendations: 𝐋𝐍𝟒, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗

Taglist: @drugged-kitkat, @ophcelia, @darleneslane, @allwaysalleyway, @littlesatanicassholebitch

Twitter

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend and 253 others

yourusername What a great day to change my pfp on my Twitter😮‍💨

View all comments

yourbestfriend Isn’t that the camera I got you last Christmas?

yourusername Merry Christmas ig

yourbestfriend The enthusiasm🥰

yourusername WOW!?!???!!!! IT REALLY IS THE CAMERA YOU GAVE ME LAST YEAR AHHH I STILL HAVE IT CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourbestfriend Nah now it doesn’t feel genuine😒

Liked by yourusername

landonorris

Liked by maxverstappen1 and 847,733 others

Tagged: yourusername, mclaren

landonorris What’s up 2023?🧡

View all comments

user1 The photos are better this year wtf😮‍💨

user2 He looks amazing regardless

user3 YESSS IT’S BACKKK LET’S GOO🧡🧡🧡

yourusername Ty for the tag, great working w/ you

Liked by landonorris

user4 Ty for blessing Lando’s face

user5 She’s a magician with a camera😩

user6 Danny isn’t racing this yr right?😞

user7 Yeah he isn’t😭😭😭

user8 Ugh MCLAREN WHYYY

user9 I’m manifesting🫡

user10 Actually so delulu I made a mood board consisting ONLY of Lando😃

user11 At least you’re self aware💀

Twitter

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris and 373 others

Tagged: landonorris, mclaren

yourusername Tbh I feel kinda bad for knowing next to NOTHING abt f1 but I’ll just do my job and whatever to pay rent in New York🤡 Last resort is the pole (not position😞)

View all comments

yourbestfriend 💀

yourusername Are you implying I wouldn’t be a great pole dancer?🤨

yourbestfriend Honestly? Yeah🥰

yourusername Bitch.

landonorris I didn’t even realize you’d take this many pics

yourusername Welcome to your new life (I sound and look like a fucking stalker rn wtaf)

yourfriend WTF YOU NEVER SAID YOU PHOTOGRAPHED LANDO NORRIS????

yourusername Surprise!!😻

landonorris

Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,194,290 others

Tagged: yourusername

landonorris Checking out the credentials🤨

View all comments

yourusername At least I’m better than you🥰

landonorris You make a fair point… it’s your job😒

user1 Bffr rn😭

user2 Wdym? it’s his designated photographer. I think she’s a part of the team cause McLaren hired her

user1 Wait really?

user2 …yeah💀

user3 The way I love this new photographer😩

user4 Yeah she’s good. She’s well known in the photography world as one of the best in nyc

user3 Wtf that’s such an honor

user5 IS THAT HER??? 10 bucks they’re dating but not telling us

user6 Nah that’s too quick💀 They JUST hired her like this year.

user7 I’m excited for her shots in Miami

user8 I’ve seen some of her stuff at her gallery. Some of it sells for more than a month’s salary

user9 Her instagram is private😔💔

user10 It’s always been😭😭😭

f1gossip

5,367 likes

f1gossip New beau, Lando?👀

View all comments

user1 HUH WHAT😃

user2 They are just friends they are just friends they are just friends

user3 stfu what is this😭

user4 That looks a lot like yourusername

user5 💀

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend and 271 others

yourusername Luckily this account is private💪 Hope they don’t find my very not private Twitter💀

View all comments

yourbestfriend Good luck😭

yourusername ty, I will not need it😩

landonorris what is this Twitter you speak of🤨🤨🤨

yourusername Nothing👽

f1gossip

2,378 likes

f1gossip Looks like Lando’s girl has Twitter👀

View all comments

user1 Wtaf I love her

user2 Ever wondered she might not want it leaked💀

yourusername Oh… wow…😐

user3 OFMHSK IT’S YOU

yourusername In all my glory😮‍💨🔥

user4 I love how she’s literally just like everyone else and not some snob😭

lando.jpg

Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, infour and 927,382 others

Tagged: yourusername

landonorris Who would’ve thought it was possible to post your own paparazzi photos?!

View all comments

yourusername Holy shit, this is revolutionary🤯

Liked by landonorris

yourusername Why don’t the media just hire me to take better pics of us🤡🤡

landonorris Ikr

user1 Nah I’m loving this

user2 They are really handing the media’s ass on a silver plate💀💀💀

user3 This is pure gold😭

user4 I thought Kika and Pierre were my fav but Lando and her just raised the bar

user5 Honestly lmao

user6 why aren’t more wags like this

user7 Publicity probs

user8 Publicity doesn't make sense because she’d fear it too..?

user7 Nah I actually don’t think she cares very much💀

user9 You guys keep doing you, this is amazing.

yourusername Hell yeah😩

Twitter

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 563 others

yourusername We’ve been around👯‍♀️

Tagged: yourbestfriend

View all comments

yourbestfriend FUCK YEAH WE HAVE

yourusername Ugh we should travel together sometime

yourbestfriend We should

landonorris Where was my invite?

yourusername Nonexistent.

landonorris Wow. I feel so insulted.

yourusername

Liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 63,278 others

Tagged: landonorris, yourbestfriend

yourusername Welcome to my Instagram, peasants. Above, you can see a little bit of everything I serve on here (and yes, I do SERVE).

View all comments

yourbestfriend Hot

yourusername I know

landonorris ❤️

yourusername tmrw is our 1 yr anniversary.

landonorris Did you think I forgot?

yourusername Yes

landonorris You’re not wrong…

user1 1 YEAR WHAT????

user2 They hid it for so long😭

user3 I’ve been waiting ages to finally gain access to her Instagram

yourusername thank you, loyal plebe.

user4 2nd pic is me during exam season❤️

user5 Literally same

user6 She’s living my dream fr

yourusername I must be very powerful, then

user7 Skin care routine???

yourusername Random shit from drugstores

user8 She’s so down to earth but classy in a funny way. How tf do I even explain her😭

yourusername I’m an enigma

user9 Lando is lucky wtf

yourusername Right?

user10 No but you and Lando compliment each other so well

yourusername Ty<3

landonorris

Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,037,278 others

Tagged: yourusername

landonorris For a whole year, you’ve given me everything I’ve ever needed. A fun and breezy outlook on life. You’re just amazing. I love you and I didn’t forget about today❤️

Comments have been limited

yourusername I’ll let it go for today. Only because I love you too❤️

Liked by landonorris

maxverstappen1 Congrats you guys👏

Liked by landonorris

yourbestfriend Feels like yesterday I told you how to get her attention😔

Liked by landonorris

carlossainz55 Congratulations guys, enjoy yourselves today🍾

Liked by landonorris

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻…

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩! (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙙𝙢𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨: 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧(𝙨) 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚(𝙨) 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣.)

*Please note that liking the taglist will not put you on it!

[azzie-mazzie]

chattt are we getting a sweet sixteen bday haul... :3

OH MY GOSH YES!! it fully slipped my mind

if i’m going to be completely honest, i got a buttload of money. like, a LOT. while im going to put most of it into savings for my future and boring stuff like that, im using some of it to see CABARET ON BROADWAY!! i’m super super excited for that, as the last time i saw a broadway show was pre covid. i saw beetlejuice, almost full original cast (subtle flex). i live pretty close to nyc so im not rlly using that much money, but im still so excited. cabaret has been one of my favorite musicals for an incredibly long time. i also think the message is super important and relevant today with the ongoing war in ukraine. it’s especially important to me because im 50% ukrainian. i have family there, speak the language and am very close with my culture. so even though this sounds mildly stupid, i think the show needs more recognition in modern day society.

anyways, haul time!! spoiler alert, lots of jewlery!!

from my absolute best friend:

-a new pandora ring and necklace!!

i love them both so so much, the necklace is literally never going to leave my body. this is the same one with the draculaura doll. i love her more than life itself ugh she’s so amazing

from my childhood best friend:

-a pandora necklace with three charms!!

i honestly don’t know how/why i got so much pandora this year. i went from owning none to being decked OUT. i absolutely love this one though. it’s short and sweet, plus the charms are GORGEOUS.

- a cute bracelet!!

this one’s made with the prettiest green stone i’ve ever seen, i love it to pieces ugh

-FLOWER LEGO??

IM ACTUALLY CREAMING AT THIS. these i got from my crush (WHICH IS A SIGN.) Im also just horribly delusional but like ugh she’s so perfect.

- an axolotl squishmallow!!

so fun fact, i do not own any stuffed animals because it was an odd rule my parents had as a kid. I OWN ONE NOW THO AND SHES SO SUPER CUTE!! i named her galadriel after the lord of the rings character <3

i’m so so grateful for everything i got and how lovely and awesome and amazing my friends are!! hope you enjoyed the haul <3

[l4k3hug43s]

trevor zegras x black!fem!reader

warnings: swearing? mean comments, pretty much pure fluff, tooth rooting, seriously they’re so in love it’s gross.

author's note: as a woc there is not many black girl leads around hockey so here’s a cute biracial trevor au!

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, yourbestfriend and 17,286 others

yourusername 3.20.2001 my love was born 🥹

3.20.2019 he asked me to be his girlfriend 🫶🏽

happy birthday z baby! thank you for showing me what real love feels like and always taking care of me :(( you are seriously the best boyfriend ever, like ever :(((((( enjoy 22 lover. can’t wait to grow old with you. please come back to nyc!! SOON i miss u so much. don’t party too hard without me <333

ps. happy 4 years baby 😚

tagged trevorzegras

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trevorzegras “lover” :( you make my chest ache with love

tterry19 sap, btw y/n he’s crying rn

yourusername give him a hug and kiss for me please!

tterry19 anything for you 😤

yourbestfriend my babies ugh stop this before i die !

maxjones98 everyone shut up y/n posted!!! hbd z 😎

liked by trevorzegras and yourusername

trevorzegras aww thank u jonesy

fan02 y/n's posts >>>>

jackhughes right, he needs to come back to the east

yourusername i agree 10000%

trevorzegras soon !

jamie.drysdale man trev you got a good one, happy birthday brother

yourusername jimmy :( ily

trevorzegras thanks bro 😎

_quinnhughes z!! happy birthday bud

trevorzegras huggy bear love you man 🫶🏼

_alexturcotte wow i miss my parents fr

yourusername alex!!! i miss u

avazegras crying in the club i love you guys

griffinzegras i love them more so 🤷🏻

yourusername can’t wait to see you this weekend ☺️

avazegras @/griffinzegras i will sacrifice your first born

lughes_06 😳

anaheimducks big 22 for mr z! happy birthday

yourusername 🧡🖤

yourusername story

caption: everyone go take a pic with the birthday boy ‼️

trevorzegras

liked by yourusername, maxjones98 and 89,234 others

trevorzegras took a quick trip back to ny! thank you guys for the birthday wishes. 🧡🦆

happy 4 years my love. doing life with you makes things a million times better, gonna have to wife you up real soon 😉

tagged yourusername

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maxjones98 three/four pictures are of y/n, typical z

jamie.drysdale duh she’s better looking than trev

liked by trevorzegras and yourusername

lhughes_06 ^^

_quinnhughes ^^

trevorzegras jimmy you’re so right

jackhughes y/n gets the best hair award, we don’t even compare

yourusername jacky i could kiss you

jackhughes omg really!?

trevorzegras how about no :)))

yourbestfriend she’s mine zegras watch your back

yourusername hey there’s enough of me for both

yourusername i said 😚😚

trevorzegras i love your 😚

yourusername i love you ☹️

trevorzegras i love you more baby, always

fanoftrevor happy birthday z! can’t wait to see you play again

liked by trevorzegras

tterry19 my wife wants you to know your girlfriend (her friend) is the cutest

trevorzegras tell your wife my girlfriend (her friend) says she is cuter

malefan1 she’s ugly lol

maxjones98 come off private let’s see you bud

lhughes_06 UGLY??!!?!

trevorzegras get the fuck off my page man

user21 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TREVOR & Y/N !!!

[myriadxofxmuses]

You should always wear my clothes. - Zach, because Em was cold 🥺

From X

As soon as Emily had seen the place she'd called Zach. "I know it's last minute, but I'm telling you it will be worth it. I would never steer you wrong," she assured him as he began to find half-hearted excuses not to leave his apartment. She knew how he felt about surprises, but this was too good to spoil. "Just trust me. Please?" she added in final urging to go with her to the unknown.

"Yes!" she exclaimed happily when he finally agreed, with a little dance he couldn't see to go along with it - those passing by on the streets giving a momentary glance of confusion however. "Oh my God. I'm so excited. Ok. Tomorrow night. Reservation is for eight fifteen. I'll come get you at...let's see it's a week night so traffic shouldn't be too bad but we want to be here in plenty of time..." she rambled to herself as she worked through what plans she could let him in on. "...Seven?" she asked almost rhetorically for clarification, getting the hang of NYC traffic still a bit of a struggle for her, walking her preferred method. But walking in the dead of winter was out. She didn't want to freeze to death before they got to their destination. "Ugh. I can't wait. See you then," she said just before giving her goodbye and hanging up.

She began to worry she'd pushed him into this erroneously as it got closer to their date. No, not a date. She hadn't said date. Zach hadn't said date. This was just two friends having dinner. At a small, intimate, romantic place. A place she'd specifically wanted to go to with him. Oh my god. Was this a date? No. No, no, no, no. She couldn't handle the added pressure of misjudging their time together on top of her worries over the possibiliy of forcing him to do something she feared he was already dreading. She had to convince herself that this was not a date. Even though, deep down, she wouldn't have minded if it was.

-----

She smoothed out her dress as she waited for him in the lobby of his building. Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? This was Zach. They'd hung out a million times. They were friends. Good friends. Close friends. Emily would damn near say best friends and she'd be right. But she'd gotten a little more dressed up than usual and worried he wouldn't like it. Stupidly, really, but she just wanted tonight to go well.

Relief washed over her when he made it down and seemed to have had the same idea, his fashion choice a bit more dressy than his usual tee and jeans combo. What little consolation she was awarded was almost immediately replaced with embarassment however as she realized she'd forgotten her jacket. How could she have been so stupid? Sure her outfit was beefed up for winter and she'd gotten an Uber over to his place so she hadn't spent that much time in the cold, but it was still winter. And freezing.

"You are going to love this place," she told him, taking hold of his hand with an excited squeeze before rubbing it in an unconscious effort to warm her own hands as they waited for a taxi. "When I saw it I just knew I had to get you here and you might already know of it, but I didn't so act twice as surprised if I'm late to the game," she teased him, letting go of him and hugging herself against the cold.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary399

10/25-26/24

friday - saturday

at the bookstore decade anniversary, i saw the writer andre aciman read.

the writer of call me by your name. i've not seen that movie, or read any of his work, his new book roman year. the excerpts were good but the best bit he read was when he was, at 16, reading from this book of case studies of perverts, 'inverts', spit fetishists, incest lovers, and so on, and his fascination and thought, the world of sex unfolding before him, he could be any one of these, 'as if i read a horoscope and all 12 signs resonated'. that's a loose quotation of him reading it. he also talked about himself, a more interesting man than i would have guessed. i suppose i had a much more positive feeling toward him than i expected, i also didn't expect him to talk about his wife...

a strange thing... or... i don't know... we were on the guestlist, a curated list, this was a special event, a lot of free food, really delicious desserts... this chocolate ganache thing, it must have been italian, my god... i had like... 2-ish. 1.5, if i'm kind to myself i guess. i feel stupid like i overate today. i feel so disgusting honestly and i kinda wanna make myself puke but i won't but tomorrow i'm really gonna try hard to not eat really. tomorrow. i don't know. i feel insane. for lots of reasons. i really feel... ugh. not going to type it out. i'll make myself spiral. i swear i feel so ugly and gross though and stupid and fat ugh i hate how i feel right now. but that's expected... not even from the food. even if it's felt a little much these past couple days... it's really because of a person i talked to today just spreading his lunacy...

anyway, here's a pic of me, i only got to take one, but i was trying to dress in an annoying skinny jeans way, to celebrate the hellp album kinda... not like, really, i just think this looks cute, but... you know... live in the moment even if it's stupid or whatevsss:

i took pics in the bar bathroom and i thought i looked better but the lighting wasn't really good and i think i look so ugly... so now i feel ugly because of that and wonder what i "really" look like if that makes sense.

anyway here's the pics from yesterday:

here's the ai thingies:

and here's an image from today i can't really explain or i guess i can. this person has made multiple people i know including myself feel totally crazy:

i know how weird it is, and evil, to take photos of people without them knowing, pointedly. but it feels warranted for what he is. i guess i'm just another evil person out here, in a world of them, one of the ugly evil things. i should jjust ddieeee.

i talked to one of the owners of the bookstore today, and a guy who helped make it happen, both from new york, as is the other owner of the store (the owners are this super cute gay couple), the owner talked about john zorn, i interjected at a point they were discussing nick cave, and i said i love the birthday party but later nick cave doesn't do so much... i like his used car salesman pathetic freak thing a lot, and that dissolves, the owner talked about him being like a preacher... but i dunno... he really doesn't embody the thing he tries on earlier albums as a solo artist even, the other guy, i'll call him publisher cuz that's a thing he does but it's all experimental stuff and i can't recall the imprint, talked about how he needed blixa to make him really special, which is true i think. i got to talk about rowland s howard a little. we went on, talked about silly music stuff, they showed up later though.,.. eventually we talked a little about dennis cooper, how he once helped a good friend of mine and how touching that is to me. he was like, i saw him getting interviewed back in nyc, he is a nice guy. and i was like, it's shocking to me, that he's out here, reachable i guess, i'm so used to it feeling so far away. he didn't say much to that. the owner asked if i'm a musician, it's strange how he guessed that, or i don't know, is it obvious? maybe my hair. i don't know, i talked about making music where i scream and stuff. they were chuffed it seemed. i didn't tell them who i was, or show them anything... why would i... it'd be so impolite right? the owner told me i should go to new york, i have the vibe. but my gf was like, i told her we can't, and we can't... all the people in new york seem to do anymore is post on twitter. but i also guess the people who don't do that do real things, but like, you know.

the owner talked about seeing naked city with just zorn and mike patton performing, a crazy show it sounded like, zorn going off on sax and patton just screaming and vocalizing. that's such a crazy thing to me to get to see... they're really cool, basically, the people i've met tonight, or these guys, i'm sure i'll never speak to them again.

and i loved seeing my other friends... but the person in the photo, he just drove some of us, or maybe just mostly my other friend and i insane... i can't go into all of it, he's like, okay, he's okay to talk about music w/ it's fun and i like chatting about new stuff i like and getting ribbed about being too into the hellp. but it's just, he was going crazy the whole time, being weird, he kept getting more violent as the night went on, tweaking kinda, and then, started hitting the table and stuff, no one really noticed, just, going crazy crazy, scary to watch and things and he'd make all these faces and try to laugh it all off even though it isn't something you can laugh off. he made my friend feel so bad, they dated briefly, it ended quickly, she still finds him so cute, and he's so pathetic you want to befriend him and help him not be what he is , what he is being miserable and fucked up about everything and just trying to make something happen and failing... detransitioning and becoming a fucking bus driver in colorado, not like i look down on that as much as i feel like it fucks me up how much a vision it is of some you know, ideal, he kept talking about how trying to be an actual blue collar worker is harrowing, and like, no shit poverty is fucking harrowing. but he saw gummo and it's like the first true film he got to experience, idk if there was any stuff that means nothing to him prior or if he liked stuff kids like and ignores that, either way, the owners of the bookstore showed it to him, and they love him, and it's just intense and difficult i dunno.

as the night went on, he kept saying like, let's go there, let's go there, jokingly because he really seemed pained by it and told me something like, it's starting to feel really bad now. and he grimaced like his arm was under a hydraulic press. and i wanted to help him, and i felt so guilty, like it was my fault, i kept saying i'm sorry, i know i joke a lot, but i mean it, sorry you feel bad, i'm not like making fun of you i just like joking around (i asked if he smoked a certain way because of the guy from autechre smoking that way sometimes, and making a silly joke about how autechre sound), i know some people have the impression i mock them, but i'm really not, or something like that. he just stared like i was the one going crazy. he kept saying let's go to oddfellows, he like, then told my friend who did wanna go to hang out with him more, his uber's on his way, barely said bye to her and refused to say bye to me it seemed like, and went off.

she ended up calling my gf crying, miserable because of him. she feels so awful. he's so stupid, such a bad person basically. and i know it... he like dated one of my friend's besties, too. she's in la!!! he just gets around, all over, torturing women.

so, yeah, that's like... it.

listening to this a lot, feeling crazy. this album is great... the hellp, i am certain have hurt women though. i feel fucked up about everything. i dunno. i'm just stupid. i'm stupid and ugly and unhappy i feel bad for all these dipshits in the world. why do i know multiple people who go to the midwest because of fucked up fantasies of being "real"????? it's torturous. the fantasy of blue collar reality, poverty romanticism, being 'base' in some way i guess. and it always fucking has something to do with harmony korine who is definitely a hack now even if i do love that film, gummo... fuck this stupid planet. why are there beautiful and kind people and this wide a range, it's torturous to me. it's just one silly night, not even bad. i ate like a stupid fat pig for free and i even had a shirley temple... wow whoa... whatever...

i wanna throw myself away, i feel like if i were meaner, fewer people would be miserable and stuff. maybe. i don't know. maybe i was really mean and i should have been nicer or something. i'm just crazy. i hate that people can destroy other's self esteem so easily, and that they either don't realize how fragile that is, or they do it intentionally. why would he hurt her so much by being a prick like that, not even saying bye gracefully? not even making an excuse about losing her number, or... deleting it at all. i hope they don't ever see eachother again.

guhhh, i don't know. there's so much wrong with the way people turn to reaction, i hate that i witness it so much. or reveal their reactionary tendencies. it's just terrifying.

there's nothing i can do i just hafta sleep to feel normal in the morning. and then i go nowhere tomorrow. i can cook, i can draw my silly fan art, or other stuff. i wrote a little tonight cuz of this too at least. that's nice.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fans4wga]

To any newcomer joining the industry after they graduated college or just getting into the field, what is your advice on what they should do? Like if they are in LA/NYC or not in LA/NYC, what can they do?

Sorry if this is left field!

That's a huge question with a lot of variables, but fortunately our mods are also newcomers in the industry and have been through this ourselves so hopefully this is helpful :)

A couple things you can do to prepare yourself:

Unpaid internships, though clearly and obviously exploitative of vulnerable populations, are sometimes (UGH) the only or best way to get in the door and have something legit on your resume. (The paid internships are unfortunately so much more competitive, but definitely apply if you can!) A lot of internships and jobs are posted regularly on LinkedIn. This is a good Linkedin group to see job postings for young people working in entertainment.

How do you even make a resume for Hollywood internship/entry-level positions? Great question. Highlight any media experience (yearbook, newspaper, journalism, graphic design) and leadership experience. (Unless it's like, from middle school. That's too far back.) If you have the chance to submit a cover letter, focus less on trying desperately to prove yourself and more on who you are as a person: someone who is determined, yes, but would also be a good, solid coworker; any stories that reveal your talent for narrative and showcase your skills.

If unpaid internships aren't possible for you, consider checking out adjacent jobs in podcasts or journalism or other media, which would still be good on your resume before you make the switch to film/TV.

Get a nice, recent headshot (doesn't have to be a professional shoot, you just want to look professional in your social media and email profile pics.)

Join the picket lines in LA/NY if possible (WGA has the locations here). Everyone out on the picket line is supporting the future of the entire industry. It's not only the current workers on strike, but you and your peers too, who depend on the outcome of these negotiations. Also, if you consider yourself "pre-WGA" (interested in being a writer/WGA member in the future), there are a handful of groups organizing strike support for pre-WGA folks! Get plugged in with them.

Read the trade publications daily, or at least a couple times a week, to stay on top of what's going on in Hollywood. The typical places are Deadline Hollywood, Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, and I also like IndieWire and the NYT movies section personally for their profiles and reviews. Basically you just want to be someone who knows what's going on in your own industry and can talk intelligently about the state of things.

Likewise, podcasts. If you're going into TV writing, I can't recommend Children of Tendu enough. If that's not your specific field, search around for what other people in your field are listening to!

I hate having to say this, but... Twitter. Lots of WGA members, directors, actors, and industry people are active on Twitter, despite the, er, problems with the platform. Look for both pre-WGA and WGA people, connect with them, start building a community, maybe join a writing feedback group. (Again, since I'm a writer, that kinda applies to just writers, but I'm sure you can find other departments there too!)

On a similar note: You've probably heard a lot about the importance of networking—getting to know people in the industry who might be your coworkers in the future. That's important advice, but even better advice than that is to network horizontally, not vertically. Translation: Don't always seek out people who are in more advanced stages of their career than you: they're probably very busy and their lack of interest in lower-level people could be discouraging, even if it's just a reflection on their lack of time and not on you. Instead, network with people at the same stage as you—people who are new in LA/NY/the industry, people who are coming up and have similar passions and goals as you, people who are your coworkers and peers. I'm coming up with a lot of really cool people and it's very likely we'll all be in a position to help or hire each other 10, 20 years from now.

That said, you could also try to find a mentor who knows more than you do, but that's tricky territory because again... Hollywood. People are busy. But if you do get the chance to apply for a formal mentorship program, or if someone you know shows interest, having a mentor to go to for questions/advice is super valuable!

Acquire skills. Microsoft Excel skills. Standard screenplay formatting skills. Final Draft skills. Graphic design skills. Website building skills. A lot of people start in the industry at the assistant level, and these things are invaluable on your resume.

For writers specifically, I've heard the advice that you need to get 5+ shitty scripts out of your system before writing something decent. And from personal experience, that adage holds true. You need to write a significant amount of crap before you find your voice and get a handle on script formatting. Online classes and writing groups can help a lot with this.

Also for writers: You should not be trying to start your career as a professional writer without 3+ SOLID, GOOD SCRIPTS in your portfolio that match your voice as a writer, fit your (ugh) writer "brand", and have been revised based on feedback from writers you trust. If you have any doubt about the state of your sample scripts, go back to the drawing board and write a new pilot script.

If you want to be a creator, watch stuff extensively! Old stuff, new stuff, award-winning stuff, stuff that you'd want to write/direct/act in someday. Pick a director and watch everything they've made (or the same for writer/actor/costume designer/cinematographer.) You need to be decently fluent in what has come before you. This industry is only 100 years old, so it's very possible with time to become someone who knows the art form inside and out. Don't watch shallowly, either; watch deeply for analysis and critical thought.

Some final words from someone who cares deeply about the overall wellness of young people in the industry. This industry terrorizes people, and there are a lot of stories of abuse and breakdowns. (Oh, another recommendation, though pace yourself because it's a difficult book with a lot of potential triggers: Burn it Down by Maureen Ryan talks about industry abuse, written by a journalist who's tackled a lot of breaking news about abuse in Hollywood. Essential reading for people going into the industry.)

So prioritize taking care of yourself, and not just in the uwu self-care way, but the bone-deep "know thyself", "if you don't take care of yourself, you will literally cease to function" way. Love yourself enough to know when to step back and take time off. Love yourself to gain good time management skills so you can live a less stressful life. Love yourself enough to build a community of people who will look out for each other.

Wishing you the best of luck. If any pre-WGA/early career folks in the industry want to continue this conversation, this mod's main is @captaincrais.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I thought you might want to check out a video by Nerdrotic on YouTube, Loki Humiliated Yet Again. It's just 8 minutes long, and they go over the pie eating scene in season 2 Ep. 2, and how Loki used to be badass and a formidable presence, and how pitiful and diluted he has become. They also make a good point by pointing out that this is still supposed to be Avengers Loki who just carried out the NY invasion a few days ago? And how he is so nonchalant and blase about it, there's no weight or gravitas to what he's saying. They also bring up another good point that this is proof yet again that the writers and the MCU no longer care about the previous movies or these characters, or the fans of them. They're using these shows to completely trash what came before.

I know you're not watching season 2 (I'm not either), but it's little comforting to know that there are people out there beyond tumblr and fandom that understand how we feel. Thank you!

You're welcome, dear! Video for the lazy:

What can I say, I agree with them. That scene of the shadows kind of reminded me of President Loki in S1. I had been so disappointed during the season, looking at TVA Loki and wondering "who the hell is this guy?", and I vividly remember seeing President for the first time and thinking "OMG That's Loki, there he is!". Like, I genuinely thought the variant we had been seeing was a different Loki and the President was IW Loki, I even expected them to confirm him as such... but they never did, of course.

I don't mind him sitting down and (not) eating pie, it's his way of speech and what he's saying. I have no interest in seeing anything right now that openly laughs and mocks what came before. If we're watching the MCU now is only because we liked what came before and it attracted us enough to come for more. The last thing we want is for these new writers to mock the previous phases, this lack of sincerity is exhausting.

For us, seeing Loki throw Stark off the window is funny? Hell yeah, it is. And Stark's comments were hilarious too. But in-universe is NOT the same. Loki would not and should not be talking about it that way. Where's the guilt if he's truly remorseful? Where's the shame that he failed the invasion? And, this is crucial, he saw in the Time Theatre that that failure meant his death at the hands of Thanos. Why, if in S1E1 he openly laughed at his "glorious purpose" after seeing the scene of his death, is he now talking about the NYC invasion like "yeah well, whatever, I threw Stark off the window, what a time that was". WTF?!

Can you imagine TDW Loki talking about the invasion like that? The scene he has with Odin at the beginning of that movie (that I swear is my favourite Loki moment in the MCU, I like it even more than the relic scene in Thor1) and Loki looking at Odin and speaking this way "Yeah dude, I totally threw him off the window".

I get the feeling there's a misplaced belief in current Marvel (except for James Gunn, bless his soul) that something humorous has to be superficial, edgy and/or as sassy as possible. And I'm blaming the hell out of Ragnarok for that.

That scene (that I hadn't seen until now, holy shit, who is that guy? I don't see Loki there at all) has the feel of a teenager at high school talking to a friend about a TikTok video. He had been mindfucked by Thanos, that alone would mean talking about it would mess with him greatly, especially when Loki always had an issue with the loss of control of his own body (taken by Odin, had his physiology changed against his will, Thanos messing with his head, later imprisoned).

Ugh, I hate it. I miss TDW Loki. And I miss TDW Thor. I just miss the TDW so much.

[spoiledleaff]

🌿✨ silly little sleep token bracelet giveaway!!✨🌿

hey, hello! :D this post is a give-away post!! i've never done one of these before so forgive me if the setup is a little funky, haha! :') but, anyways! i attended the nyc sleep token ritual at radio city music hall, and i made a massive amount of bracelets for it! :) i did the same thing when i went to see ghost last summer, but this time i unfortunately wasn't able to take the time to make sure i gave all of them away, so i have some extra bracelets left!! :D it feels a little weird to keep them for myself, haha! so this is where you might come in! >:)c

out of exactly 100 bracelets, i'm happy to report that i only have 9 bracelets left! 🌿✨ the 9 that i do have left consist of 2 bracelets for iii and 7 bracelets for iv! :)

these are the bracelets i'm offering up! :D but — since the circumstances for this giveaway are a little more unique, haha! — what are some rules for this? :0 well!

✿ this giveaway is aimed towards anyone and everyone who attended a ritual during the teeth of god tour! you don't have to have attended specifically the ritual at radio city music hall! :) however! please be aware that if i happen to receive multiple/more than one messages at a time, people who did attend the nyc ritual will receive priority/first picks. i don't mean to be rude to anyone! this is just because i also attended the nyc ritual :) i hope that makes sense! i won’t be asking for proof, but i also don’t expect this post to just magically blow up, haha! so i’m taking everybody’s word for this :)

✿ ideally, to give many people a chance to snag a bracelet, i would like to limit the amount of bracelets to one per person!

✿ i hope to mail the bracelets to people who would like one, so, needles to say, please be ready to offer up a valid mailing address where i can send the bracelets to! however, because i hope to mail these little guys, i'm afraid i'm also going to have to ask that this giveaway stays in the united states. ugh! i know, i know! i really wanted to extend this silly little thing to outside the usa, but i think it might be wiser for me personally — since it's my first time doing something like this — if i kept this to inside the usa. i'm so sorry to my dear friends in other parts of the world!! QAQ

✿ lastly, this giveaway is completely free!! :D however, i did have some lovely people ask if i wanted to take a 'tip' for various reasons and, even though i did say 'no', there were some kind people who really insisted i take a little something :') so! if you would like—though this is not at all necessary! i do have some additional means where people can send a small little tip if they might like to :)

✿ finally, please feel free to dm me if you're interested at all!! :D please include the aforementioned proof as well as if you have a preference for which bracelet you might like to receive! :D also please feel free to dm with any questions about the bracelets too! :) i know i don’t take the greatest pictures, haha! so if there’s one that catches your eye, please feel free to ask to see it up close! :D

oki-dokie! i think that's pretty much everything! :) haha! i've never done one of these before so i do apologize if this is very rambly//over explaining and whatnot :'D but! i had such a fun time making these bracelets, and an even bigger of a blast handing them out and meeting new people and experiencing the nyc ritual with everyone too :) thank you for reading!!! ♡♡ and thank you for participating if you so choose to!! :D

also, haha! if anyone was curious as to if you happened to meet me at the ritual, here’s a silly little fit pic featuring my housemate’s cat saying hello, haha! ♡

[thedawningofthehour]

6, 14, 17, 18, and 29 for the fic writer asks (or however many of those you want to answer!! I know thats a lot sorry lol)

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

@spectralsleuth's Little Scraps of Wisdom. It's the perfect blend of just fluffy enough to not require tons of mental energy, but also serious and angsty enough to keep my attention. Also the format makes it really easy to pick a section and just dip in-perfect for my ADHD ass.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Doth, at least parts of it. The whole thing wouldn't translate well to visual media-there's tons of introspection, conversations that wouldn't be all that interesting visually. (at least not animated-you don't really get Cersei Lannister-esque performances from animated characters) Stuff like the actions scenes, big scenes with multiple people speaking, those would probably translate the best.

My Dishonored fic, god no. It's video game media and it's very obvious that that's the source material. It would be incredibly boring if you weren't in Daud's head the whole time.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Uhh. Like. So much stuff?

For doth, it's been insanely broad. On any given day, my writing window might be filled with Wikipedia pages on scientific topics, cultural, history, law. Right now I have a bunch of pages open about military tactics and technology, a Google Maps of NYC, and then some articles on nobility and royal titles.

For The Red Queen, I had to learn a lot of architecture terms when writing Daud running around doing backflips off rooftops. I don't even think half of them even made it into the text, but I had to know what he was perched on top of like a daddy seagull. I also did a whole dive into the Black Death for that one. Oh, if you want an interesting fact, did you know the plague was actually carried by fleas and not rats like many assumed? That's partially why it was so bad in cities. Poland actually had a much lower death toll than the rest of Europe in part because of its high Jewish population (mostly refugees because many cities blamed them for the plague-because of fucking course they did) who washed more frequently than the average peasant at the time and their neighbors decided to get in on that too. Milan survived relatively unscathed because whenever someone showed signs of plague, they and their family members were walled up in their homes and set on fire.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I like the entire exchange between Leo and Draxum on the roof. There were a lot of details written into those lines that gave extra information or conveyed something about their mental states.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

I've played around with writing out Cass's consensual kidnapping and walking in on Gale being brainwashed, with some blurbs about her adjusting to life in the Hidden City. They never really got past scraps, but I can post this scrap.

She’s just getting back from school, last week before winter break, her head swarming with final this and final that. Tom says hello to her from where he’s working at the dining room table. Casey says hello back and promptly excuses herself to go work on her final paper for English.

He should be happy about that. She’s actually doing her homework.

Tom’s not bad, she supposes. He’s nice enough and doesn’t try to catch her coming out of the shower. He and Cindy offered to pay the fee if she rejoined the hockey team this year. But he gets on her every last nerve. She’s their first foster and they are absolutely trying too hard. At least Cindy isn’t home enough to annoy her.

She shuts her bedroom door and drops her backpack on the floor. Ugh. She could kill whoever invented academic papers. Well, the Odyssey isn’t going to write about itself.

“I have to say, this wasn’t-”

Casey whirls around, grabbing the first thing she registers-some Hello Kitty knick-knack she keeps on her dresser, in this case-and hurls it at the intruder.

Draxum bats it away, barely raising an eyebrow.

[starjxsung]

Ugh!

I am a firm believer of Stray Kids ending their contract with JYP and I will die on this hill. I don’t mean it in a mean way ofc, bc I love them so much, but I mean in a Fuck JYP way. What the fuck has JYP done for them besides put money in their pocket? All he has done is given them problems with their personal image (body, face), harsh restrictions as well as has gone out of his way to make not only himself look bad but his group. Why should SKZ continue to work with someone like him? I mean he has silenced them SO many times, like the Chan’s room situation where he made Chan APOLOGIZE for something other people took out of context. And don’t even get me started on when Hyunjin was forced to say that he was fine in Italy without any bodyguards when we all know as a fandom that you can.not.send.your.idols.anywhere.ALONE. Hyunjin is a very attractive and popular man and people are CRAZY, something could’ve happened to him there. JYP sucks and I hope that not only Stray Kids but the other groups see this as well. Personally, I would not want someone like him over me. I want Stray Kids to be an independent group because honestly a lot of kpop groups nowadays are just trash and untrustworthy, and I stand by that. JYP should not have a platform the way that he does and anyone can honestly fight me over it because I will rot on this hill!!!!!!! He’s not a good person AND he’s not a good manager whatever the fuck he is. Also fuck all the JYP staff idc I don’t like them either bc why is Minho dressed in the same white shirt, black tie combo every time for every fucking thing? A NYC Fashion student has more dress sense than they do sometimes. AND HOLY FUCK can they lay off the bleach for Felix’s hair, I’m not being a hater but DAMNN I just want to see his hair some other color and nobody can’t tell me he doesn’t want it either cos if I were him I’d grow so tired of being blonde. If he likes it then I’ll take it back but there’s no way he likes being blonde all the DAMN time.

But I’ll always be with skz until the very last step out. It’s a blessing and a curse, a blurse if you will. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

The “Ugh!” that prefaces this message is everything to me. I love you and I love this ted talk

I would be fascinated to see skz under an independent label as well. There’s been such a rise in cases of it happening likely since the CBX departure of EXO and I really appreciate all of the freedom and creative liberty that comes along with if. I honestly don’t think I know enough about JYPE to say that one decision would be better than another one, but I definitely understand the concern with the current state of things and the want for them to depart from the current label. I think aside from skz they also seem to be struggling a fair bit right now, stocks fell 11.52% within the last quarter at almost twice of what Hybe’s fell. Which is really saying something considering the sheer decline Hybe is currently facing

I think all your reasons are very valid and your concerns make total sense. And I would especially be interested to see Minho in something other than white shirt/black tie combo !!

(❤️🫶)

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday! thoughts under the cut!

Okay, here we go! we’re back!! We’re BACK!!

And for some reason citytv is finally airing them in a more correct order, though mine thinks I’m on the east coast and is starting now. Mothership first so we all know I might not pay too much attention.

Woof what a cold open…

Jesus christ why is it always Hudson U

Who’s this new detective? Did we get rid of one of the white men I didn’t like? Lol. Oh.. we did… good lol.

Det shaw is so fucking hot.

Nov 10th?? Don’t they usually keep the time stamps pretty accurate to when they air?

Uugggghhh Samantha I have missed yoooouuuu. Glad to see she’s handling the arraignment herself this time, let’s give her more of that pls.

God this chloe girl’s annoying

That stiletto tape holder on sam’s desk came from rita, I know it in my soul. (it also came with a custom pair of manolos…)

Oh shit…

Yeah I dunno how I feel about this new cop either…

Ugh I just love that maroon suit

**

Svu time

BABY BENSON!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I like starting s25 off like this.

Loving that liv is back in her black nail polish era. It’s prime

Velasco being the one of the squad without his own kids/being the youngest and being the one dunked with babysitting duty and loving every moment of it is perfection.

Omg all of them fighting over the baby. lol.

Where tf are all the rest of the carisi’s? or amanda’s mom? Isn’t she in nyc now??

“maybe we could adopt each other…he could use a brother, too many sisters LOL omg noah

I’m not saying liv should’ve like, pulled a u-turn and immediately gone after the van, esp with noah in the car, but she knew in her gut something was off, memorizing a plate number probably would’ve been a good idea.

ALSO WHILE WE’RE HERE. I’M FUCKING SALTY ABOUT CHURLISH. WHAT THE FUCK. (especially if there isn’t a single mention of her in this episode/where she’s gone.)

Oh Velasco… baby boi, I have missed you

Does Bruno have a medical alert bracelet on? And if so is that his or is that the actors?

Okay, at least Velasco was smart enough to keep hands on the perp instead of letting him run off like they normally do.

What the FUCK is going on?

Why am I still watching this show? LOL

 Okay, see, this is the kind of amanda content I want to see, her popping up every so often in her professor role/mother/wife role, or just showing up to give carisi lunch kinda thing, not full time, not back on the force cause ESP after having a third kid there’s no way she’s coming back to be a cop.

The way olivia didn’t even bother to run cause she knew he wasn’t going far LOL, just all “bro, you’re gonna hurt yourself, and don’t make me hurt you…”

Okay but is olivia wearing the bracelet that she found in the van? (cause that should be in an evidence bag) or is she wearing one from one of the dolls? (cause that should also be evidence? And is lowkey weird…)

Have I just missed them or have there not been any/a lot of the dun-dun’s/time stamps, cause like…how long has madi been missing? How long have we been looking for her cause there’s no way that they kidnap her, make her into a doll, and make THAT many of them and produce them/that many people bought them in like a day or two….

Okay… we’re lacking detectives, with muncy and churlish gone is this new blonde gonna be joining the team? Will she last more than one season on the show?

God the politics side of jobs like this are infuriating

Okay imma assume that we’re gonna retouch on the case next week?  Cause that REALLY wasn’t a solid wrap up, like I get the metaphorical idea to it, but that coulda been done so much better.

Episode was meh overall.

*

OC time, yay! It really is playing them in order. Now if only the subtitles would fucking work. I’m so congested too, that’s not helping lol.

This theme song is the best out of all of them and I will die on this hill.

Oh right, we’re diving into fucking AI shit. It honestly better end up being a bad thing cause AI will destroy the film industry…

Omg bobby. I love you so much. God the cast of this show is all so incredible.

“god I love not being the boss” LOL

“welcome back detective ive missed you too. Can we take a breath and try that again.” Bell.. seriously… I fucking love you. How v Donnelly of her.

I absolutely love that bell isn’t afraid to call stabler on his shit. Like she is constantly reminding him that *she’s* the boss and we stan her for it.

The writing on this show is SO much better jfc. Jet all “that’s artificial intelligence.” To stabler lolololol

UNDERCOVER JET IS SO FUCKING HOT OMG. And like… ALWAYS not just now, but woof.

If they don’t start diving into more of bell’s personal life this season I will riot. Like, we’ve got out first main cast openly queer character on the show and all they’ve done is break up her marriage and family and rarely touch on it again. Like, does she even get to see her son? (son, right lol) does she ever talk to denise? Are they friendly? Can we PLS see her start to branch out and date again to get some fucking representation cause fuck knows we’re not getting it anywhere else in this universe.

Omg not the piece of fucking duct tape over the apple logo on the back of this dude’s computer LOL.

What was that little shoulder touch? And why was there so much focus on it?? Sus

“you’re just gonna walk into that beehive” ma’am… this is Elliot we’re talking about. You’ve known him three years now, you should know he likes to play by the seat of his pants. AND THE FIRST THING HE DOES IS MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WHO LOOKS IN CHARGE?! DUDE. You’re dumb

Bobby and jet comforting each other and finding that comfort/coping with jamie’s death by fucking each other honestly makes perfect sense.

Okay, as much as I don’t ship eo and absolutely do not want it to be canon, I am thankful for more little mentions of the characters on the other shows. Like it didn’t make sense to bring back Elliot and have all the crossovers that we got and then pretend like they didn’t talk or keep up with what the other was doing in the eps that weren’t crossovers.

Okay. Now that’s done.

Fun fact: randall, this brother that we’re going to meet I now assume last week is being played by Jamie Gray Hyder’s husband. Cause like, I was suuuuper surprised to see Jamie at the 25th anniversary party, like, truly shocked that she would show up until I found this out LOL.

Honestly… SVU was the weak link of the premiers. If we had gotten more cute personal moments at the beginning with the baptism then it would jump up but we barely got any. It really seemed like a two part-er episode and I don’t think it is, or at least not one that will be continued next week. Either way, it was kinda meh.

[fullsunstrawberry]

hey girlllll

okay first- the chap was SO GOODDDDD and i’m so excited for your nct reactions and texts!

also your tattoo with your mom is so cute 🥰🥰 and the designs for your seventeen ones are adorable so i’m sure your nct dream ones will be super cute as well <333

i want to get a tattoo but let’s be so fr i’m so scared of needles 💀 kao (bf) has a bunch of tattoos and they’re so cute but i personally would never - your so brave for thiss

also mother in law apologized thankfully so so more problems there :)

my life has been pretty boring tbhhh i’m living with kao rn but he’s pretty busy with his med school things rn so i barely see him 😢

i really need friends 😭

BUT ITS NOT LIKE I DONT HAVE FRIENDS my two ride or dies (yes we are a trio but we’ve known eachother since 2nd grade and there has been 1 argument that lasted 30 mins 💀) are literally so far away 🥲 missing them 24/7 but we have our weekly group facetime soon so 😋🤞

ugh life has been so boring recently fr i need a hobby asap

i feel like i’ve lost all my interests because i’m high school i would lterally do math for fun and that’s the last thing i need to do rn 😭 like sure i did. volleyball but where in nyc am i going to okay volleyball like be so fr rnnn

WNYWAY HOW ARE YOUUUU????? TELL ME EVERYTHING 😜😜😜😜😜

i have an obsession with these emojis i find them so funny

also my niece/cousin idk but she’s so like… IDKKK- she’s middle school high school age but i feel like i’m just on a whole different planet bc she’s so into everything like i need to keep up frrr

ANYWAY

make sure to drink lots of water and eat lots of good foodss- i love youuu 😜💓💓💓💓❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️

also congrats on your blog growth! you deserve it fr

I got a bunch of nct random texts that I'm gonna post soon 🤪 but I gotta make some enhypen ones too cause my master list is lookin a little biased 😅

ahh thank you! i gotta hurry and get more kpop tattoos because my mom has more than me (she has two bts tattoos and wants a txt one)

i was terrified of needles but i had to get a bunch of blood work done when i was younger, so i’m a pro now 😤😤

if my partner had and tattoos i would color them in with markers if they had black and white ones

life’s been pretty boring for me too that’s actually why i made this account cause i used to have a tumblr way back and post on it but it became too hectic with my schedule…so i deleted it. but now i’m not really doing anything i love how hectic i post!! it gives me something to do and look forward to

i’m also in a friend group of 3 💀 but mine is kinda rocky because the other two always fight and im in the middle sometimes… but i love both of them and one of them might read this 🤪🤪

i still have lunch with them every other day in school but one of them is going to a different school and im gonna make sure we don’t drift apart 😤😤

most of my hobbies involve technology lol…

i like to make random webpages and of course video games, mostly sims or acnh.

But i love scrapbooking and i know a lot of people do it online now but nothing beats cutting up pictures and gluing it to a cute notebook or having a pen pal and decorating my letters

also photocard trading is fun and helps keep me busy

i’m glad the mil apologized because no one wants bad blood in a new marriage!!

i love using emoji’s because i don’t wanna sound boring when i’m writing and i can only use “T^T” so much

SAME! my cousin is younger than me and she makes me feel so old even tho i’m young! but she talks about tiktokers and celebrities i have no clue who they are nd half of the words she says, i’m like what?

tysm!! i’m surprised on how well my blog is doing, I love how many people have reach out to talk to me! It means a lot 😩❣️

don’t skip a meal!! 🥰🫶

[carmenberzattosgf]

I'm being haunted by the gut wretching thoughts of something I'll probably never have and I need to share them bc the VOICES.....

Thinking about starting the talking stage with New York!Carmy specifically and I just.... It's been plaguing my mind bc I just want to know him, ykwim???? I wanna crawl inside his mind soooo badly and I wanna be there for him when it gets hard and I wanna be this source of comfort and peace for him that he can trust. UGH!!!

Anyway, I invite him over after a while and (bc I KNOW he would do this) he's the one cooking dinner even tho it's my mf kitchen but I left him, ok?? So he's focused on his cooking and I just sit there and watch him bc he's so pretty and so in the zone and I just wanna keep staring at him, yk. And, after like a lil while, I'd start asking him about his work and, like, what he wants to do with all this knowledge and stuff bc I GENUINELY want to know.

What I can't stop myself from is, like... Picturing the moment that serious and guarded shell cracks and he just starts to ramble about his plans of opening his own restaurant and what vision he had for it and what it would look like and blah blah blah. And I'd just listen and watch that excited look on his pretty face and how his eyes light up and how he couldn't stop talking until he suddenly realizes that his words are getting away from him and he looks sheepish with that nervous little chuckle/huff he does sometimes (I'm obsessed with this man I'm so sorry).

I just... I want that. So much and ik he's a piece of fiction and doesn't exist but he means soo much to me and I think about those kind of little moments more than I probably should. Just wanted to share it with you. <3

— 🦫

I AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS. I THINK ABOUT NYC CARM ALL THE TIME. HE HAUNTS ME. I love love love the way you’ve described all of this!

[youmightaswell]

Die!

THE COUCHHUNTER

This could easily be a 10-part essay series. I could do several TED Talks about couch hunting.

That couch lasted me nearly 10 years. It was perfect in that it was black and white and fit perfectly in with my highly specific design aesthetic.

Then about three years ago I wanted to replace it. It was old and I wanted a change. But still a black and white patterned sofa. This sounds simple but it is not. There aren’t many black and white patterned sofas and there are even less that will fit in this apartment building.

If you recall three years ago, on this COUCH HUNT, I settled on a vintage Versace custom couch formerly owned by boxer Mike Tyson. I initially didn’t even know it had some celeb cachet. I simply was thrilled it was a black and white giraffe print in velvet. It was up for auction and when I talked with the seller I found out it was actually being sold by Mike Tyson’s ex-wife. She had just sold their estate and the furniture was sent to the auction house for sale.

Anyway, I learned the hard way about my building’s size constraint when the couch arrived after a costly shipment from MD. I coined this whole experience COUCHGATE for the struggle and scandal that ensured. It didn’t fit in the elevator or up the stairs. It had to be driven all the way back to MD. You probably remember that over the course of that next month I negotiated it a bit cheaper, re-paid for it to be shipped up again and this time had the Couch Doctor at the ready to hack it apart in my lobby, carry up the pieces and then seamlessly reconstruct it in my apt. It worked, but not without tears. The couch doctor wanetd $4,000 to do this. WTF? I negotiated down to $1300 for the surgery, but in retrospect it was way too much. I could have gone with another place for $700. Anyway, live and learn.

After months of hassle I was finally victorious and had the behemoth safely ensconced in my living room. But did I really win? Nah. Turns out the couch is problematic like all my relationship. It is the most uncomfortable couch in the world. It’s stiff like sitting on a park bench. So while it is sturdy – I had a sagging couch – it it not conducive to vegging and watching a long movie or binge-watching a show. More so, the fabric bleeds. So it cannot be spot cleaned as the dye runs from the black to the white areas, discoloring them. I knew there was some bleeding and water damage on the back of the couch, but it is up against my wall so I didn’t care. But recently the dog threw up on it and I had to clean it and now the front has dye marks too. Ugh.

When it first came to me the first point of business was to have it cleaned. But cleaners turned it down saying the fabric could not be cleaned by the normal methods. What should cost $200 would start at $2000 for a dry cleaning. I opted not to throw more money into the couch as I already hated it. But after such a costly mistake I kept it more as an art piece than as a utilitarian piece of furniture.

Another issue: When the couch originally had to go back into storage at the auction site in MD they stored it in a musty warehouse and it came back to me smelling of mold. I originally thought to myself that I hoped some how much apartment wouldn’t be infected with mold from it. The couch itself has no signs of mold, but the musty smell bothered me. Febreeze fixed it but still, what invisible horror lurked without. Two years later I am suffering from mold illness. I’m not saying it’s from the couch. I had my hvacs analyzed and there are four types of mold and mycotoxins in them. I live in an old NYC apartment building so of course there’s some mold/mycotoxins. Most people with healthy immune systems would not have any reaction, but a chronic Lyme sufferer with a severe immune disorder is strongly affected.

Logically I don’t think the couch caused any of that, but the association between it and mold and those original thoughts causes me stress.

This a long-winded way of saying it’s time for Mike Tyson’s Versace couch to go .

It’s not an easy process. I have to order a new couch – and the hunt for a black and white patterned couch is still a challenge – and then figure out the least costly way of hacking this thing apart and getting it out of here. It’s super heavy so it’s going to take more than one man to do this. I don’t want to pay another $1300 and won’t. I don’t need it reconstructed, just deconstructed. I’m hoping staff in my building can do it, but it will still cost a few hundred for them to spend a few hours taking it apart and carrying it to the garbage area in the basement or outside if scheduled on garbage day.

But I have to time things correctly so that I’m not left couchless for months waiting for a new one to arrive.

So I systematically have searched for the least month and know every.single.black and white-patterned fabric offered on couches that could fit in the apartment.

There are only a few candidates and most have been ruled out.

A plain black couch would work but black is too dark for my tiny space. An off-white couch would be ideal and super easy to find, but I have a dog and it would get dirty in a minute. A red couch is impossible as I have a red 1960s coffee table and not only would it be impossible to match that specific red, it’d be too much red.

So, the only way to go is a black and white pattern.

There are only three placed I’ve found with the right fabric offered on a couch under 83 inches.

This is where Season Two of COUCHGATE debuted. [For anyone who follows me on IG, you have seen my IG stories. Each day I post a different episode in the COUCHGATE series.]

The first was THE INSIDE. They have a great black and white stripe material (Ink Cabana). The issue is their couch styles I love that are modern and cool are all too big to fit in my elevator. They do have ONE style that would fit perfect. But it’s a boring English Roll Arm couch. Still, to have the black and white stripe that matches my wallpaper and curtains exactly would be great. I’m willing to sacrifice couch style for the right fabric. However, while that fabric is offered on every other couch style they sell, it’s not for the English Roll Arm. They have no customer service number and their only bots were not helpful. I reached out the their PR team explaining I am a reporter covering NYC living topics (totally true!) and they responded quickly. They said this fabric should be available for that sofa style by mid-July. They even sent me a swatch and it was great. Also it’s easily spot cleaned with a water-based cleaner and also can be professionally steam cleaned cheaply. WIN! In June they are running a 20% off everything sale! The couch that would come to $3000 would be around $2400! I asked if they’d honor the 20% off for me in July seeing I’m ready to place and pay for the order now but their site doesn’t yet allow that combo. As it is even when I place the order the actual couch wouldn’t be here till at least October. Their PR team said yes and their customer service team said no. I have the yes in writing so I’ll fight that battle when and if the combo really becomes available in mid-July.

I also saw that a brand owned by this same company, Interior Define, has a black and white stripe Cabana fabric as well! Sadly it is only for outdoor furniture, but I’d consider an outdoor couch. They only have one model in a size that would work. But oddly even though this fabric says: FOR ALL OUTDOOR FURNITURE ONLY, when I tried to order the couch online it says the outdoor sofa isn’t offered in it. What circle hell is this? Again, I reached out - to PR - and they finally called me and said it turns out they jumped the gun putting that fabric style on their site and it won’t be offered on any outdoor furniture at all until mid-July. Again, they sent me the outdoor fabric and it’s great. It looks the same as the other but is more durable and even more easily cleaned. It’s pet-friendly as well. All great things. I need to visit the NYC showroom to see if I can sit on that style of outdoor couch to see if it’d be comfortable and not look too out of place indoors. They said it’s the same style as an indoor one offered so it should be fine. It’s quite pricey and will come to about $3100. alt text

It’s 84” and I’m scared that might be an inch too big to fit inside. Ugh. It’s an option but still leaning towards THE INSIDE one.

I saw a bunch of vintage ones online and one I loved - It’s the right size and black and white floral but has gold flowers too. Gold might disrupt the blk/wh/red theme and it’s too iffy to chance it without seeing it in person, but it’s in another state so it’s a no-go.

It’s 84” and I’m scared that might be an inch too big to fit inside. Ugh. It’s an option but still leaning towards THE INSIDE one.

I saw a bunch of vintage ones online and one I loved - It’s the right size and black and white floral but has gold flowers too. Gold might disrupt the blk/wh/red theme and it’s too iffy to chance it without seeing it in person, but it’s in another state so it’s a no-go.

I also saw a sofa online in plain off white but it has completely removable, washable covers so that could work, but the reviews said it is a very low back and more of a place to lay down – it opens to a bed–than to sit. I am going to visit that showroom this week but it seems unlikely I’d get it. It’s too low, the back is too low. I do like replacement covers can also be purchased for just $400. But probably a no.

[I also thought about getting a cheap Shein sofa in cream or black - these you can put together yourself so no size issue. They are about $650 and come within a week and are returnable. This isn’t a permanent solution, but would do for a season so I could work on getting rid of the Versace, and put in a cheap cream on as a placeholder till I found THE ONE. I am still thinking about doing this and even though sold on Shein, others places like Amazon and Bed Bath and Beyond have the same one for double the price. I have seen videos and pictures of it in people’s homes and everyone says it a good couch - comfortable, easy to put together. But more on this in a separate entry bc I got the GENIUS idea of buying two – one in black and one in cream and construction one from parts of each to MAKE A BLACK AND WHITE COUCH. Insane or brilliant? We shall see… TBC in a later entry.)

Which leads me to my last possibility that is an essay onto itself: CB2..

CB2 offers one black and white patterned fabric and six sofas in the size I need. The fabric is prominently highlighted on their site. All the prices and sizes of the 6 options were doable so I headed down to CB2 last week to go see the fabric in person and also sit on the 6 options. Seemed simple enough. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything.

(TBC)

Before I continue about my CB2 visit, what do you think? Thoughts? Which do you like if any?