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gold-from-straw · 6 years ago

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Enough - ch 9/9

Aaaah! It’s finished!! Thank you SO MUCH for all your lovely lovely messages, this fandom is GORGEOUS and so kind <3 <3 <3 This final chapter is almost an epilogue, written from Erik’s POV, and almost entirely fluffy ^_^ or as close as I get to fluff lol! I hope you like it!

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you like!

Erik felt Charles’s mind whirling with anxiety even as he stood perfectly still with a polite smile on his face. He sighed, and imagined a twisting band of iron tangling itself in the maelstrom of Charles’ thoughts, capturing him, holding him still.

Beside him, Charles jumped, his eyes going wide. He turned and smiled sheepishly at Erik. “How do you do that? It’s like… being hugged inside my own head.”

“I have a very visual imagination,” he said with a smirk. Charles blushed, and tried to look reproachful, but really, with the filthy thoughts flooding his own mind he had no room for such hypocrisy. Erik reached out an arm and tugged him close by the scruff of his neck. “Calm down, Liebchen. My mother is going to adore you.”

“Just because you adore me, doesn’t mean everyone else is so misguided,” Charles teased. Erik heard the thread of pleading beneath his words, in the place where his thoughts still tangled with Erik’s.

The past months had been a relationship like nothing Erik had ever imagined, let alone experienced. It had taken weeks of careful reassurance to convince Charles that Erik really did want him around - in every way. Charles was so painfully desperate to please, and yet his self-esteem was so completely shrivelled, that Erik found himself constructing elaborate revenge fantasies while he worked, scenes where he punched Kurt Marko in the face until his own knuckles bled. Or where he kicked Charles’ Oxford roommate down the stairs for trying to manipulate him into cheating. When Charles came across those thoughts one unguarded moment, he blinked up at him, shocked.

“You know very well I’m not a very nice person, Charles,” he said with a shrug.

Charles thought for a moment, then straddled his knees and pressed close for a hug. “That’s not true, Erik. Your thoughts are not your actions, and nobody’s hurt when you think such things.”

Erik pulled him back to look at him seriously. “You should know that I would do those things if I ever saw you in such situations, though. I wouldn’t hesitate.”

“I know,” he said, blue eyes gazing at him in wonder.

Now waiting in the airport for his mother to arrive, Erik tugged him close and embraced him, resting his chin on his head. Charles retreated from his mind a little, the edge of his telepathy just skating noticeably on the surface. It felt to Erik a bit like holding hands. He knew Charles was there, Charles knew he could dive into the sanctuary of Erik’s mind at any moment, but they were separate most of the time. It was very similar to the way Erik sometimes played with Charles’ watch strap, tightening and loosening it with his power absent-mindedly.

Charles shifted in his hold and sent him a thought he’d picked up off the surface of one of the airport employees. Erik jumped a little to hear a woman’s voice speak straight into his own mind, but squeezed Charles’ waist. “Sounds like Mutti will be here soon, then.”

Charles took a deep breath and straightened out, brushing his blazer down and looking for stray crumbs or creases. He even glanced through Erik’s eyes at himself, and Erik made a point of lingering his gaze on Charles’ arse. “Very funny,” Charles said, trying to conceal a smile, and failing. “I want to look smart, I don’t care what my backside looks like.”

“You look perfect,” he laughed, then looked up, his attention homing in on the feel of a set of slim golden bands he knew so well. “Ah, there she is! Mutti!”

He waved at his mother, and she did a little skip when she saw him across the arrivals lounge, waving back wildly and hurrying towards them. Erik met her in the middle and scooped her up into a spin. “Erik! Oh, my darling, it’s so good to see you! Put me down, you silly boy! What will all these people think if I kick one of them in the knees because my son is spinning me around like this?” She laughed and leaned back as he dropped her back to her feet. “Look at you! So handsome, so tall, where’s my little baby?”

“You know I haven’t grown an inch since I was twenty-three,” he snorted.

“But you will always be my baby, won’t you,” she grinned, pinching his cheeks.

He slapped her away playfully. “Stop, you fool. Come and meet Charles.”

“Ah! Your sweetheart!” She turned to Charles, who was still hovering slightly behind Erik, and switched to English. “You must be the man who has captured my Erik’s heart,” she said, holding out her hand.

Charles gave his best dazzling, harmless-professor smile. He looked perfectly poised, but he’d pulled back just slightly from Erik’s mind, closing himself off and holding himself perfectly rigid. He took Mutti’s hand and to both their surprise, bent over it and kissed her knuckles like some kind of Regency lord. “Mrs Lehnsherr. It’s such a pleasure! And thank you so much for your son.” What the fuck did I just say thank you FOR YOUR SON like he’s a present she gave me what the fuck is wrong with me oh my God she’s going to hate me and we haven’t even got out of the airport and--

The panicked mental stream cut off. Charles straightened up and blinked rapidly. Erik’s jaw dropped, and he quickly snapped his mouth shut and tried desperately to bite his lips to keep the laughter at bay. Mutti looked uncertainly at Erik.

“Well,” said Erik. “You did raise me very well, Mutti.”

Charles’ shoulder slumped and he covered his face with his hands, his ears turning bright red. Erik covered his mouth and shook with giggles.

“Did I misunderstand?” Mutti asked, in German. “Did he say thank you… for you?”

Erik laughed and hugged Charles, kissing him on the head over and over. “Oh, Schatz, you are the best thing in my life.”

Mutti slapped him on the arm. “Well, don’t laugh at the poor boy! See how embarrassed he is! Don’t listen to him, Charles, dear.” She took Charles’ hands gently away from his face, and Erik moved back, still chuckling, to let her closer.

Charles looked utterly miserable, and now Erik had stopped teasing him, he could hear Charles’ mental whispering, almost panicking about how he’d ruined everything and now Edie was going to hate him and think he was an idiot and Erik was going to realise how true that was… Erik’s amusement disappeared and he immediately sent mental waves of apology towards him, trying to cover him in peace and safety.

“Do you know,” said Mutti, holding both Charles’ hands between her own. “When I met my Jakob’s mother, I made the mistake of discussing politics? I didn’t realise she was a staunch conservative, and my liberal views didn’t go down very well.” She dipped her head slightly to meet Charles’ gaze. “Now, you said thank you to me for Erik? Well, of course, he is his own person, and has made himself into the wonderful man you know today, but I am honoured that you give me any credit at all for it.”

Charles swallowed hard and smiled up at her. Erik felt a glow of pride in his mother’s kindness. He used his power to buzz both Charles’ watch and Mutti’s rings affectionately, and pulled them into a hug, one loved person in each arm. “Come on, let’s get you home,” he said. He took Mutti’s suitcase handle in one hand, and tucked Charles under the other arm, and walked them back to the car.

***

She loves you already

, he said into Charles’ mind as they sat in the living room that evening after dinner.

Charles looked up, his eyes wide with hope. How can you know? I don’t want to…

I don’t have to read her mind to know what she thinks of you, he said, smiling over at his mother, who was looking out at the New York skyline outside Erik’s apartment, her hand elegantly folded under her chin, her elbow resting on the sofa. She’s going to love you as much as I do.

He felt Charles’ heart softening at his words, the swell of joy rising up under those negative thoughts that Erik hated so much, the thoughts Charles had been fed throughout his life and that convinced him he was so much less than he truly was.

But now, Charles sent tendrils of thought through Erik’s mind, down his muscles, giving a little tug that showed as a twitch of Erik’s arm, a little pull for permission. Erik grinned. Go ahead, he said, and gave up the control of his limbs. Charles lifted Erik’s arm, making space to press close against his side, draping Erik’s arm around his shoulder before releasing him with a content little sigh.

Mutti cast a look at the two of them on the sofa, a fond smile curling at her lip. Erik smiled back, and pulled Charles closer, breathing a kiss into his hair.

And in his mind, behind a door labelled ‘Surprise, keep out!’, he thought of the ring he had pushed into the very back of his sock drawer. Thought of Mutti’s delighted exclamations when he’d shown her earlier.

“That’s wonderful, Erik!” She grinned the wide, toothy smile he’d inherited. “But why are you showing me?”

Erik looked at her seriously. “Charles doesn’t have a family,” he said. “Or not one worth mentioning. To ask him to marry me would be to ask you to accept another son, and I want to know if you would be willing to love him and support him the way you do me.”

Edie’s green eyes softened with sadness and she put her hand on his elbow. “Oh, Liebling. I’d be honoured. Any person who can command your love and trust like this must be someone truly special. I can’t wait to get to know him.” She stretched up and kissed him on the cheek, and he hugged her tight.

This coming month was going to be the perfect opportunity for Mutti to get to know Charles. Erik already know she was going to adore him. Edie Lehnsherr liked everyone, and everyone liked Charles Xavier. And then, he thought, closing the door to his secret gleefully, he was going to make sure Charles knew that Erik loved him, and his family, small as it was, was all for Charles as well.

#My writing #cherik #Enough #Charles Xavier #Erik Lehnsherr #Edie Lehnsherr #charles/erik #emotional hurt/comfort #fluff #meet the parents

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valkyrieofsmut · 6 years ago

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All I want for Christmas is a priest Part 1

Kurt Wagner x Non mutant! OC

Types: Smut, Romance, some angst, holidays

Overall series warnings: Smut, religious references, Priest!Kurt, debauchery of a priest in training, probably inaccurate Catholic references, mentions of past sexual abuse, German (translations provided, but I have bad grammar… Sorry native speakers…)

A/n- There are a lot of song lyrics in the story. You can let them wash over you, try to find them, ignore them and think the OC is weird, or just go with it. <3 yous, and merry Christmas, part 2 should be out tomorrow.

Masterlist

Story!

Kurt straightened his cassock, looking at himself in the mirror, his fingers touching the empty spot where his collar would go. He wouldn’t get it until he was ordained, but the date was drawing closer.

He’d left the X-Men a few years ago, deciding that he would be better able to serve the mutant community by giving them hope and the knowledge that God didn’t hate them.

He looked at the contacts that made it look like he had pupiled, more normal eyes to make sure they were in place, then his eyes moved to his cheek, closely examining the flesh colored make up there to make sure that his blue skin was fully covered. He had hated it at first, but had gotten used to it over the three and a half years he had been in the seminary, training to get to where he was. Now he only had the last six months of practical training, or interning, which he had started a few months ago with a priest, Father Connor, who was about ten years older than himself and knew of his strange appearance.

He opened the door and stepped out of the office leading to the choir seating, only to be washed over by singing. It wouldn’t have been so strange if the church hadn’t been empty except for himself and the priest before he’d gone into the office.

Kurt looked around, seeing a hooded figure in a long coat walking down the aisle, singing. He had frozen, hearing the words.

“Hoppe hoppe Reiter, und kein Engel steigt herab, mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weite, nur der Regen weint am Grab, hoppe hoppe Reiter, eine Melodie im Wind, mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weite, und aus der Erde singt das Kind…”

The German was rolled, rounded, practiced, but the words slightly off, as someone who hadn’t had enough practice speaking the language itself sang them. The low voice was off, as well, like a man speaking in falsetto, only reversed. Maybe a tenor singing a bass’s part, stretching to drop that extra octave to match the low notes.

The hooded figure continued down the aisle, stopping and looking up at the front, dropping to a knee and standing in one motion before heading to the back where the priest’s main office was, never missing a word of the song.

Kurt looked after the figure, wondering what the whole thing was about. He had never seen anyone coming into church in such a manner, and the figure hadn’t seemed very accustomed to Catholic traditions, knowing enough to touch a knee to the ground, but maybe not knowing, or caring, enough on how to do it properly.

The doors to the church opened again and a few ladies entered, giggling among themselves and making their way up to the choir seating. More people filed in, making their way to the chairs waiting for them so they could begin practice.

Kurt watched them, glad that they had accepted him into their church enough to not mind him being so close, but his mind kept straying back to the figure, wondering what they could want, thinking over the whole walk as they went down the aisle to the back office. He couldn’t even be sure of the person’s gender, though the voice and shapeless looking form made him lean heavily toward male.

There was a laugh from the back, and Kurt turned to look as the priest and the hooded figure made their way to the choir seating. Father Connor put a hand on the figure’s shoulder and looked to him.

“This is Kurt. He is new, and we have put him to work as the choir director to help get ready for Christmas.”

The figure waved, but Kurt couldn’t see any features, since the person kept their face down. They turned and walked past the chairs, going to the stairs, pulling the hood back slowly, revealing furry ears.

Kurt was horrified; it appeared that this person was a mutant, physically affected, and they were showing it in front of everyone!

His cheeks started to burn in regretful embarrassment as he remembered that he had spent years fighting with the X-Men, fighting so that physically affected mutants could feel safe and comfortable enough to show themselves without hiding. Still, it was dangerous…

Maybe he had just gotten too used to trying to fit in with makeup...

“Nice hat, still,” one of the ladies commented, a bit of rudeness not really hidden in her tone.

“Not easily offended, know how to let it go, from the mess to the masses...” was the trailing off reply.

The voice was higher now, and Kurt felt more unsure of the gender of the person. He looked away and when he looked back, the person had sat down in one of the chairs on the top row, between the tenors and altos, holding the music in front of them to study it.

Kurt ran the choir practice, paying attention to the music, and not to the mystery person.

As the practice ended, though, Father Connor stepped to the person and stopped them. “Kurt, I’d like you to introduce yourself to our friend.” With that, Father Connor went to where a couple of the patrons were trying to get his attention.

“Hallo,” Kurt greeted, his hands clutched together to let the difference remain unseen.

“Hello,” came the voice, feminine, he thought, or maybe just high for a man… “Reindeer, hello snowman, hello Santa, happy holidays,” the figure finished in a mumble.

“I’ve never seen you here before,” Kurt offered after a stunned moment.

“I’ve never seen you either, but I’m like Santa. I only come for Christmas,” was the explanation to Kurt’s silence.

“You only come to church for Christmas?” He asked. “None of the other masses or celebrations?”

The figure looked uncomfortable, looking to the side instead of the floor where they’d been focused. “I don’t belong here... I don’t belong here…”

Kurt hesitated. “Everyone belongs here,” he said.

“No, I mean I don’t go here. I’m not part of the church; I just like singing…”

Kurt tried to get a better look, or any look at all, really, from the figure’s face. He smiled to try to put the person at ease and said, “You must like singing very much.”

“Yes… I’m a second alto, so if you need a tenor, you can ask me.”

“Second alto, hm?” Kurt asked, making note that the person was a woman.

“Yes…”

Father Connor came back to stand next to them as the last of the other choir participants made their way out. “You should stop hiding,” he commented to the woman.

She reached up and tugged off her hat, giving him a look. “I’m not hiding, Father Connor, your church is just very cold.”

Father Connor chuckled. “Yes, I’m sure. You should actually speak to him. Remember what we’ve talked about.”

She rolled her eyes and turned them to Kurt, unzipping her coat and taking it off to let it fall on the floor. She held out her hand for Kurt to shake, looking polite. Kurt carefully took her hand so she didn’t notice that it was different.

“Hello, my name is Liesel, I’m a second alto, so please, call on me if you need another tenor.”

Kurt looked into her mostly green eyes, flecked with brown as they looked at him, not quite connecting. Her shirt was loose around her, leading to show that she carried a little extra weight, and her longish brown hair fell messily around her shoulders. “Liesel?” Kurt asked, surprised at the unusual, and German, name.

“Like the Sound of Music,” she supplied.

“Ah. Is that your favorite musical?” He asked.

“No. I like others more.” Father Connor gave her a look and she rolled her eyes slightly again. “Like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hairspray, Nightmare Before Christmas, Little Shop of Horrors…”

Kurt smiled. “Yes, those are some good ones, as well.” Her lip lifted a little. Probably at the thought of a soon to be priest watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

“Kurt, perhaps you can talk to Liesel.” Liesel gave Father Connor a look.

“Oh?” Kurt asked.

“Yes, she has been singing with us for, I believe this is the third year? But, I still have not been able to convince her to come to a regular mass,” he answered.

“Is there a reason?” Kurt asked her.

“Please excuse me, I’ll leave you to talk, I’ve some business in my office,” Father Connor told them.

Liesel sighed and picked up her coat and things, then moved to sit down. Kurt looked at her in question. “He won’t let me be until we talk for at least fifteen minutes,” she told him.

Kurt sat next to her. “Are there any questions you have?”

“No,” she answered. “I’m not part of your church, but I don’t have anything against you. I respect your religion, even if I don’t partake.”

Kurt smiled. “That’s very Christian of you.”

Liesel shrugged. “Sure.”

“Liesel, why is it that you like singing here so much?” He asked.

“I just like singing with a group. I sing with the local city choir, too, but they don’t sing the hymns, like Ava Maria and the like.”

“You like singing hymns?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“What is your favorite?”

“Hard to say, Mary Did You Know isn’t as moving to listen to as it is to sing, I think, but… Hm… Ave Maria, Angels We Have Heard on High, Hark the Herald Angels Sing… Things with a good four part harmony… I’m rather fond of Still Still Still, but I don’t think that counts as a Hymn.”

Kurt nodded. “Liesel, why is it that Father Connor wants you to talk to me, do you think?”

Liesel’s lip twitched up. “He wants me to be nice to you, because being silent can be construed as rude.”

Kurt’s brow raised. “Oh?”

She nodded, then turned to look into his eyes. “I’m also supposed to look you in the eye or face.”

“Is it something you’re trying to work on?”

“I suppose,” she answered.

“What do you mean, you suppose?” Kurt asked.

“That, I believe, is private, due to some law about confession,” Liesel told him, blinking and looking away as her eye twitched. The dry wintery air was starting to make them dry and itchy, even though it was just starting to get to winter temperatures.

Kurt nodded in reply to her, a slight wincing smile lifting his lip as he wondered what she had confessed that would make trying to be socially interactive something she was working on.

A beeping sound came from the woman’s person and she dug through her pocket, pulling out a phone, asking for him to excuse her. “Hello?” She answered. “Well, no- oh! I didn’t- Yes, I’ll be right there,” she told the person before hanging up the phone. “Please excuse me, I’ve got to get going,” she told Kurt, standing and pulling on her coat and eared hat.

Kurt stood and smiled as well. “I’ll see you in a few days for practice, then.”

“Yes, a few days,” she answered, wondering how she’d forgotten that today was the first meeting for the city choir to set up practice.

... ... ...

A few days later, after practice, Kurt stepped to Liesel, knowing that Father Connor wanted him to talk to her, hoping that she’d join the congregation, maybe find what she was missing or something to help her. “Hallo, Liesel.”

“Hello,” she answered quietly.

“May we talk again?” Kurt asked.

She looked up to his eyes, as though appraising him. “I suppose. What do you want to talk about?”

“How about movies?” He asked.

She assented, and they spoke for a while, not noticing that the time was quickly passing them by. Kurt was glad that she seemed to open up a little more, being still hesitant to share and strangely a little standoffish, but less so, especially after they had discussed movies and found that they had quite a few tastes in common.

Kurt made a gesture with his hands, and Liesel's eyes followed one, taking in the appearance, but as soon as his hand disappeared back down, behind his back in nervousness, she looked back to his eyes.

“Yes, but you’ll hear how much better the book was.” Kurt nodded, worried that she would realize that he was a mutant, and then would become afraid and belligerent. “I always try to walk into the movies expecting nothing, accepting that it is a different way to tell the same story. That way, as long as it stays pretty true to the lore and rules in the book, I don't take it too hard.”

Kurt nodded again. “That is a good way to think about it,” he agreed.

Liesel blinked hard, noticing how dark it had gotten. “I should go,” she told him, standing. Kurt stood as well and walked her out.

... ... ...

The next time they spoke about books, and the next about movies, books, and plays they liked. They spent a few weeks like that, and got to know each other more. Slowly, Liesel relaxed around him, becoming more comfortable in his company.

After about a month, Kurt found that he was very fond of the time he got to spend with Liesel, glad that they had been able to become friends.

Liesel also felt some happiness at the amount of time she was getting to spend with Kurt, for some reason looking forward to it, despite knowing that it was only because it was Kurt’s job as a clergyman to attempt to help the downhearted.

Snow had fallen thickly over the few days since the last practice, and Kurt was marveling at the beautiful blanket of fresh snow in the courtyard, thinking happily that choir practice would be soon, and he’d get to spend time with Liesel after.

Liesel hefted her foot over the pile of snow next to her car, irritated that she hadn’t had time to change at work. If they would let her off on time instead of making her stay as long as the kids wanted a picture with the Santa crew, she wouldn't be stuck in the ridiculous costume.

She shivered as she hurried to the church, finding Father Connor in the front hall. “F-f-f-f-Father C-Connor,” she greeted.

He turned to her and smiled. “My, don’t you look festive,” he commented, looking down her fuzzy red dress, frilly skirt, elfin tights, and heavy black boots.

“Y-y-yeah… Do you mind if- if I change in the- office?” She asked, trying not to stutter as she rubbed her hands together to try to regain feeling in her numb fingers.

“Of course,” he told her.

“Th-thanks,” she gratefully told him, taking her bag of clothing and heading to the office off of the choir seating.

She quickly pulled off the boots and tights, her frozen and previously wet skin clammy. She bunched up the tights, feeling the wet feet as she pulled the shorts from around them, and pulled the shorts on again before stuffing the tights into her bag. She reached behind her and unzipped the dress, pulling the thing over her head.

Kurt walked down the hallway, eager to get to choir practice and spend time with Liesel after. He stopped in the hall, looking at his hands quickly to make sure they were still covered with makeup before opening the door to the office behind the choir seating.

He looked up, stopping in shock at the beautiful female body in front of him.

Long legs.

Trim figure.

Arms held up.

The red velvet material came off of her head, and long, glowing brown hair cascaded down around her shoulders and ample breasts. Breasts surrounded by silky looking fabric, stomach bare, small shorts over her hips and thighs, bare, smooth legs…

So beautiful…

Kurt’s eyes jumped up to Liesel’s, which were wide in something that looked like terror, as she held the red fabric in front of herself. “I-I-I-” Kurt blushed and looked down. “I’m sorry,” he murmured and stepped back out of the room, closing the door and leaning back against it.

Liesel’s arms fell and the dress landed in front of her as she fell to her knees. She blinked rapidly, looking around. The panic and fight or flight were still flowing through her body. “It’s ok,” she whispered to herself, pulling herself back up. She looked at the door across from her, the one that lead to the hall, and hurriedly pulled her clothes on.

Maybe… Just maybe…

Kurt ran the practice, avoiding looking at Liesel, embarrassed about walking in on her, but also embarrassed that her nearly nude body was burned in his mind.

The choir participants started filing out, and Kurt blushed, but stepped up to Liesel as she walked to go past him. “Liesel…” She paused, keeping tabs of his position relative to hers, though it looked like she wasn’t looking at him, and he took that as a sign that she was listening. “I-I’m sorry,” he told her. “I didn’t mean- I didn’t know you were in the office…” He explained, feeling his face heat under the makeup caked over it.

Liesel looked up at him. His hands were twisting nervously, his eyes were sincere, his shoulders hunched in embarrassment, but also in sincerity. Maybe… Maybe he was ok… Liesel felt a slight smile lift her lips. “It’s ok…”

Kurt let out a barely audible sigh of relief. “I’m glad… Liesel… What would you like to talk about today?”

Liesel had left, and Kurt had gone to his room, undressing for a shower. He paused, looking at where the makeup stopped, leaving a strange swirling between the flesh color and blue on his forearm.

He stepped into the shower and turned on the water, turning it toward cold as the image of a beautiful, nearly nude Liesel filled his mind.

He had judged her wrongly; she wasn’t plump, as he’d expected. Her breasts were large, making her shirt hang loosely around her and give her the illusion of extra weight, but she was well fit; not too skinny, almost chubby, but right in that perfect spot before, just his preference.

He felt himself reacting to the sexy image, and shook his head, but that only brought the image of her hair falling all around her shoulders and breasts. He drew in a breath, trying to steady himself.

He hadn’t felt the pleasure of his hand for about three years, falling to temptation once or twice just after joining the seminary, and feeling the pleasure of a woman had stopped even longer back.

Kurt turned the water colder and took another breath. He had to keep his wits about him…

She was his friend, and while he would savor the chance to touch her beautiful body, hear her singing in pleasure, he was nearly finished with his training to become a priest; hardly three months left. It was impossible, besides, she was supposed to see him as a support, a bridge to God, a friendly, concerned, but benign presence, helping lift her faith.

Kurt awoke the next day, glad that he had denied himself; if he had thought of her while pleasuring himself, he felt he would have greatly regretted it this morning.

He spent his day taking care of his obligations, ignoring the down feeling that he wouldn't get to see Liesel today, and just how greatly he was looking forward to tomorrow when he would see her again.

Liesel stretched as she stood with the group, spending a little longer stretching as the other people started walking away.

This time, however, they were discussing something they were planning, a toy or money drive, items for donation to the homeless, running a soup kitchen, they hadn’t decided yet, but they were hanging around in clumps, and Liesel walked down, pausing by a pew, hoping Kurt would still come to talk to her. She brushed out her coat while she waited, wondering why she was standing there.

Kurt greeted a group of women who stopped him.

“What do you think, Father Wagner? Do you think a soup kitchen, or a clothing drive would be better?”

“I’m not sure, ladies, I believe Father Connor would be better at evaluating the need of the community. I don’t think I’ve been here long enough to have a enough of an idea.”

The women tittered and murmured to themselves as he walked away toward Liesel, his eye bothering him more this afternoon than it had this morning. He rubbed at it, but could find little to no relief. “Hallo, Liesel,” he greeted as he rubbed his eye a little harder.

“Hello,” Liesel greeted. She was easily looking him in the eye, something she’d had to work at for the first little while. He smiled, opening his eye with a little more comfort. Liesel blinked and her eyes widened. “Um… Your eye…” Kurt blinked, unsure of what she meant. “Your… contact?” She suggested, not sure if it was the right thing.

“Oh,” Kurt rubbed at his eye a little more, and felt the contact come free onto the back of his knuckle. He closed his eye to look at her, nervous of the others so close as well. “Ahm… Ja, it has been bothering me all day…”

“Do you need a mirror to put it back in?” She asked.

“Ah, no, my fingers are… dirty…” He told her, looking down at the makeup covered hand holding the contact.

“I- I could help you,” Liesel told him, reaching into her small bag and pulling out a travel size bottle of saline.

“You just carry that around with you?” Kurt asked as she took the contact from his hand and washed it in hers.

“The winter air dries out my contacts,” she told him.

Kurt’s breath caught in his lungs as Liesel stepped closer, putting a hand on his cheek and focusing on his eye.

“You’re going to have to open your eye if I’m going to get this contact back in,” she lightly teased.

Kurt opened his eye and she pulled down his lid. She was very close to him as she raised a brow at noticing the dark purple color inside his eyelid. She spent a second putting the contact in before telling him, “blink. Again.” She pulled her hand away and nodded. “You’ll probably have to look around for a second to get it settled in place.”

Kurt did and it was much more comfortable. He was hesitantly quiet, unsure of her reaction. He’d hopped that she hadn’t quite caught how different his hand was before, maybe it had been too dark, but now, she had stood almost close enough to touch him, staring at his eye in the light…

There was no way she’d missed it. But… She wasn’t saying anything… “I- I hope you… Won’t hold it against me…” She turned her head a little as her face reflected her confusion. “That… That I’m a mutant…” He murmured so the others wouldn’t hear.

“I hope you won’t hold it against me that I’m not a member of your church,” she returned with a sly smile.

“Never,” he shook his head.

“Ditto,” she replied.

He smiled in relief. She was so kind and thoughtful, more so than quite a few of the patrons of the church, he thought grimly.

He was thinking a little fondly of her, perhaps…

Liesel blinked and stepped back, feeling how her chest had become uncomfortably tight. She looked away, her cheeks heating a little as she bit her lip. Why was she thinking of him this way? Sure, she liked him; he was nice, and they had a lot in common, but she couldn’t think of him as anything more than a friend. He was a member of the clergy.

Kurt was relieved that Liesel didn’t seem to care about him being a mutant. Thinking back, he was fairly certain that she had seen how different his hands were and just hadn’t said anything.

He enjoyed their time together as they spoke, and eventually Liesel had to leave. Was it just his imagination, or was she hesitating to go?

“Well… I guess I’ll see you next week,” she told him, leaving through the doors.

“Next week,” he agreed. He watched her go, until she got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Kurt, it’s getting late. Have you been speaking to her for all this time?” Father Connor asked.

Kurt’s cheeks heated, and he was glad for the makeup that hid it. “Yes, we were a little engrossed in our conversation,” he admitted.

Father Connor chuckled. “You seem to be rather fond of her,” he commented.

“She is… very nice.”

“You seem to have much in common,” Father Connor offered.

“Yes,” Kurt agreed.

“Do you, perhaps, care for her a little more than is normal?”

“No,” Kurt quickly rebutted. “No. She is just a very nice young woman, who seems sad… Lonely…”

“She has seemed less sad lately,” Father Connor commented.

“Good,” Kurt commented back. “No one should be sad at Christmas time.”

Father Connor nodded in agreement.

... ... ...

Liesel wrapped a present, hesitating with a piece of tape. “Can I help you?” She asked the man standing at the counter.

“Is Andrea still here?” He asked.

“Andrea,” Liesel called toward the back.

The young blond hurried to the front room. “Yes? Oh! Richard!” She cried, rushing forward and around the counter. The two wrapped their arms around each other, kissing.

Liesel set the finished package to the side and looked up at them. She wished that someone would kiss her.

It had been a long time since she’d been able to get that far with a man. Scars on her heart and trust made it hard, but she tried not to think about the past and what her stepbrother had done to her, forcefully and painfully. She was feeling more confident than she had in a long time, in no small part due to singing with the choirs, she knew, but still, she wanted someone to kiss her, and maybe if she found someone she could trust-

An image of Kurt floated in her mind’s eye.

Liesel gave a slight jump. No- no, not Kurt, he was a priest; definitely off limits, and probably not interested in her more than trying to be her friend and help her not feel alone. But still, it would be nice if she could find someone to kiss her like Richard was kissing Andrea…

Passionately and lovingly…

Kurt’s image popped up again.

Liesel’s eyes widened as she stepped back from the table and turned to grab the next package needing gift wrapped, but her hands stopped, resting on it.

Why was she thinking of him like this? She shouldn’t- couldn’t! He was a clergyman, and though she wasn’t part of his church, she respected his position and all he’d had to sacrifice and swear to to obtain it.

Still, she couldn’t help but think of him, his smile, the way his eyes looked at her warmly… Her heart was beating a little faster, and she bit her lip. She had a crush on him. She shook her head to free it of the shock. Normally, a crush wouldn’t be anything to worry about, something normal and healthy, but now…

She couldn’t think about Kurt like this. He was a holy man and thinking about him, about kissing him or anything else that wasn’t platonic, was inherently dirty, making her like a wicked, conniving, betrayer of God…

She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Wait, she thought. It’s just a crush, it’s not like I’m actually trying to get him to kiss me. It’ll probably just go away by itself… Yeah… I’ll find someone more appropriate, and this will be in the past…

Liesel sat in a pew at the back of the church, hoping she would remain unseen.

She ducked down as the office door at the back of the church opened. Father Connor walked out and pulled his coat on, getting a shovel from the closet across from his office before heading down the hall away from the hall.

The door to the choir director’s office opened as well and Kurt- Father Kurt- Father Wagner walked out. She took a breath and hid deeper in the pew. She shouldn’t be here alone with him…

The door opened and some other choir people came in. She waited until they had passed and followed behind them up to the seating, saying hi as Kurt greeted all of them. She sat in her spot as they waited for everyone to gather.

Soon enough, they had all come and practice was finished.

Kurt waited as the majority of the choir group filed out, looking at Liesel as she made her way down. He looked away quickly as the thought of her in lingerie filled his head. “Liesel,” Kurt greeted when she reached him.

“Father Wagner…” She hesitantly said.

Kurt paused in surprise. “Ah, you may still call me Kurt,” he told her. Her cheeks turned a little pink, and he was at a loss for why.

They sat as the rest of the group discussed their winter charity with Father Connor, and Kurt’s eyes had to focus on staying away from her body, neck, lips, or the way her hair fell around her shoulders.

They talked, taking pleasure in each other’s company, and reminding themselves that they couldn’t be thinking the things they were.

Father Connor turned the lights on above them, and Liesel realized just how dark it had gotten. She looked at her phone for the time and stood quickly. “Wow, I can’t believe how late it is.”

Kurt escorted her out, making sure that she arrived at her car safely before turning and seeing that Father Connor was still there.

“Kurt,” he greeted.

“Father Connor…” Kurt answered unsurely.

“You do seem to have a good time with Liesel.”

“Yes,” Kurt answered, not sure what to say. Father Connor smiled to him.

“She seems to be rather taken with you as well.”

Kurt walked toward him, giving an unsure nod of acknowledgement at his attempt to start a conversation. “She does enjoy talking about things, unfortunately, much of the American music is unfamiliar to me, and she seems to be very fond of it.”

Father Connor nodded. “She could have an entire conversation by quoting songs,” he confessed to Kurt. “It was quite disconcerting when she first came here. She seems to be doing a lot better since talking to you.”

Kurt couldn’t quite stop the smile tugging at his lips.

They made their way to their rooms, Kurt going to wash off the makeup caked over his skin. A shower was always the easiest, as he felt chunks of the stuff fall from him in the rushing water, and he stepped in. He closed his eyes and scrubbed at his face, letting the false skin be washed away.

Liesel looked up at him shyly.

Kurt’s eyes snapped open, trying to get the image out of his head.

If he were honest, he would confess about this, but he was afraid of Father Connor finding out about how he was feeling, knowing that it was an improper thing for him to be thinking about her like this. He would fail and be kicked out of the church for sure…

And yet, Liesel’s body seemed to be there next to him, her hair impervious to the falling water, but her body letting it glisten down her. Down her breasts, over her stomach, along her thighs-

Kurt shook his head. He couldn’t think this, and yet…

He couldn’t get the thought out of his head. He thought of her as a beautiful young woman, a kindhearted friend and good conversational partner during the day, but when she wasn’t there, as soon as the sun had gone down and he’d stepped into the shower to rid himself of the caked on makeup, his body started making its desires known. His body wanted her, craved her and needed her like he’d never thought of wanting any woman, thing, or even food or water, in his life.

He refused, night after night, reminding himself that he had sworn to celibacy. He had to keep strict; there was no telling what would happen to his relationship with Liesel if he couldn’t control himself. He may be unable to stop from confessing to her of his improper thoughts, and she would surely be unable to ever look him in the face again.

His hand had drifted down his abs in his distraction, desperate to rid him of this frustration, but he caught it before it could, slamming it against the wall as he groaned in anger and helplessness.

The frustration would last another day.

... ... ...

Days passed and his frustration grew. It had been two, nearly three, weeks since he’d walked in on her, and every night, the memory of her beautiful skin haunted him. It was driving him mad. His body needed her, needed release, needed attention as a man! He turned it down, over and over, refusing to give in.

It was Friday, the last of the practice days that week, and Kurt reflexively smiled at seeing Liesel sitting at the top of the stairs. She was so beautiful.

Kurt dismissed the group and stood in his spot at the front, waiting for Liesel to come closer to him.

Liesel looked up, her cheeks pinkening. “Hi, Kurt… I have to hurry to city choir practice today, so I can’t stay, but…” Kurt felt his heart squeezing. She couldn’t stay and talk to him. It was going to be days before he got to see her again, next Thursday, to be precise, as the choir practice would temporarily be put on hold so that the church could run it’s clothing drive. Liesel turned back to him from her small bag. “I made this for you, um, so you could- it has some music on it-” Kurt took the offered cd, looking at it in confusion. “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I don’t even know if you have a cd player, I mean, Father Connor has a computer and it should work on there-”

Kurt smiled and put his hand on hers. “It’s great, thank you.”

Liesel let out her breath in relief. “Well… I’ll see you next week,” she told him, and he nodded.

Kurt watched her walk away. It would be nearly a week until he saw her again. His fingers tightened, holding the cd case against him.

The group had dispersed, and Father Connor and he were the only people left. They cleaned the church, had a drink of cider together, and said good night to adjourn to their studies. Father Connor was reading his scriptures and preparing for his sermon on Sunday, Kurt was sure, and he took his bible from his desk drawer for study after his shower, and when finished, sat at his desk, opening the bible to the page he had left off on.

The next day Kurt helped get the church ready for mass, dusting, shining, sweeping, and vacuuming, making sure there were bibles enough in all the pews. He helped to complete the rest of the chores, too, and by the end of the day was glad of his shower, even though Liesel’s image was waiting there, making his body beg for release.

As Kurt stared at the page in front of him, he realized that he was lost in thought, and his vision slid to the cd Liesel had given him.

He closed his bible and stood, going to the closet where his things were and dug into the box where the things he didn’t use much were and pulled out an old discman, pulling the headphones free and starting to stuff them in his ears as he went back to his desk and sat as he took the cd from the case and swapped it with the one in the discman.

The cd player actually still worked, surprising him, and the music started. It was upbeat, catchy, the lyrics meant something, or were just fun… it was interesting. He’d heard one or two before, but a lot of them were new to him.

There were twenty five songs, and somewhere in the middle, he changed from the chair at his desk, to his bed. He laid back, listening to the music, letting the sound wash over him. His eyes closed, and he drifted off, thoughts of Liesel filling his mind.

A shrill alarm sound filled the room, and Kurt’s eyes snapped open. The batteries had died and silence came from the earbuds in his ears. He pulled them out and started his routine for getting ready for mass.

The mass was lovely, a touching sermon about loving one another, the season, and charity. Kurt felt filled with peace and hope, and his mind filled with thoughts of Liesel. After the sermon, he helped take confession, talked to the people who stayed to help clean the church, and discussed the charity with the people who were mostly in charge.

When he got into the shower, Liesel was still there, her body tempting him. He finished the shower as quickly as possible and turned to Corinthians. “But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Kurt paused and read it again. He tried to let it sink in deeper before continuing. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” He had to keep his body and mind pure.

Monday he volunteered to do the shopping for them, and made a special stop at the battery section to get some for his discman. When he got back to the church and had put all of the groceries away, he went to his room and pulled the discman from his desk, quickly putting in the batteries and stuffing the earbuds in his ears. He turned the player on and listened to the songs as he laid on the bed. Visions of Liesel went through his head with the music, making him restless.

He turned off the cd and went out to fix dinner for Father Connor and himself, after which they went their separate ways and Kurt climbed into the shower. He saw Liesel there, as usual, and his body begged him for release.

He ignored his body, reciting Corinthians to himself again. His stiffness didn’t leave, so he ignored it as he finished the shower, hoping it would go away. It still didn’t, and he continued ignoring it as he pulled on pajamas and laid in bed, putting the earbuds in his ears.

He tried to focus on the music, but the songs made him think of Liesel, and as he started drifting off, his brain starting to think of things he wanted to do to Liesel, and what he wanted her to do to him…

Kurt tossed and turned, trying to ignore his body’s desires, but had trouble.

Kurt awoke in the morning, feeling as though he’d gotten no sleep. The first thing he did was read Corinthians, the second was to slather his face with the makeup that made him look like a normal human. The third was to go do his daily chores and help Father Connor with visits to the members of the church who weren’t able to make it to the mass regularly, or who were temporarily unable to attend. He helped clean a few places, cook a few meals, gather groceries and supplies for those confined to their homes, all of the things he should be doing as a part of the clergy, and yet, he couldn’t stop Liesel from popping up in his mind randomly.

She teased him with her mostly green hazel eyes, her shining brown hair, her full lips, her round breasts, full, plush looking, and hidden under her baggy shirt. He had to pull his mind from where it shouldn’t be a lot more than was reasonable.

Kurt walked with Father Connor back to the church, surrounded by silent reflection until Father Connor broke it.

“You look troubled, Kurt.”

“Ah, no,” Kurt denied.

Father Connor paused, but came at him from another direction. “You are missing choir practice, aren’t you?”

Kurt hesitated, but answered, “yes.”

“You know, there is just under a month until Christmas.”

Kurt’s head jerked up. It was true, there was just under a month of time that they would use to practice for that day, and then they would return to regular hymns.

And Liesel would leave.

Kurt’s chest felt tight, and he subconsciously touched it.

That night, Kurt laid in bed, listening to the cd Liesel had given him. His body was calling for her, hoisting the fabric of his pants high like a flagpole with his stiffness. He tried to ignore it, lying motionless on his back, focusing on the music, but the inner turmoil was roiling.

It was late. Father Connor was undoubtedly asleep, as he should also be. The whole town was most likely asleep. But Kurt couldn’t sleep. His body demanded things of him he couldn’t do. It demanded to be touched, it demanded that he let it be touched.

I can’t! He thought desperately.

“Then let me…” Liesel’s eyes slowly opened as she looked up at him, clothed in only her bra and panties as she straddled his hips.

Kurt took a deep breath. No, I can’t! He thought in a near panic for losing his control as his heart pounded in his chest.

“I’ll help you, Kurt,” Liesel whispered seductively to him.

Kurt felt his hand moving down on its own. “No,” he murmured, his eyes contorting in concentration.

“Please let me help you, Kurt, I want to help you… I want to help so badly…” Liesel told him as she leaned forward and rubbed up his body.

It had been so long, his member jumped, fairly leaping to painful attention at the touch of his hand rubbing against it through his pajama pants. Liesel’s image slid down his body, rubbing against his rod stiff protrusion. It felt good, and she moved back up. Kurt’s hand was rubbing up and down with her body, pressing a little harder in some spots.

He shouldn’t be doing this, none of it; not touching himself, not letting himself be distracted by sexual thoughts, and definitely not thinking of Liesel while doing it! But her breasts were pressed against him, teasing him just so, just right, he wanted to touch them, lick them, make her moan and cry out, God, he needed to taste them, her, all of her-

“Uggh!” A guttural sound was jerked from Kurt as he suddenly spilled wetness over himself and his pajamas. He looked down at the mess spreading across his hips, a feeling of defeat filling him. He’d finally lost the battle.

He laid back for a few minutes before taking off his headphones and going to his bathroom to clean up. He pulled off his pajamas and boxers, rinsing them in the sink before he stepped into the shower to give a quick wash to his hips and thighs, but as his hands tried to pass over him inoffensively, his cock sprang back up and to life.

He looked down at it in shock. It was an extremely fast recovery, he hadn’t seen anything like it since maybe his teen years. He tried to ignore it, trying to wash around it, but his body was not giving up.

Liesel was standing next to him, looking at him and smiling sweetly.

He closed his eyes in defeat. He couldn’t stop her beautiful face and body from taunting him, even by giving in and giving his body what it wanted. He wrapped his hand around his again stiff cock, his arm relearning how to move, pumping up and down as he felt more and more fuzzy about why he shouldn’t be with Liesel in real life. His body was trying to convince his mind that it was good and right, ok and necessary. His hand tightened a little as it moved, quickening the pace until he fell over the edge, coming again and panting as he leaned against the wall.

He was so dirty, so unclean and impure. The opposite of what he should be to be a priest. He was a failure, something corrupted and depraved. Kurt fell to his knees and looked up into the spray of water, praying to God for forgiveness.

... ... ...

Kurt felt the guilt tearing holes in his soul as he watched Liesel sing. She was so innocent and pure, she needed his compassion and kindness, but he’d turned her into some sort of lust object in his mind, having not been able to stop from pleasuring himself multiple times over the days since he’d first done it.

He’d uncontrollably masturbated, followed by furiously begging God for forgiveness for his transgressions against his body and the beautiful woman haunting his thoughts, shower, and bed.

The crowd pushed to get down to the floor, somehow pushing Liesel to the front and onto the floor first, making her duck to the side and escape down a side hall and out of the side door leading to the courtyard. She gasped a breath and let it out in relief. “Like a stampede of cattle,” she muttered to herself.

Kurt stood at the side, watching as the crowd bundled Liesel away, surprised at their excitement to leave. But, then, there were only a couple of weeks until Christmas, and shopping was most likely on their minds.

“I believe your conversational partner escaped that way,” Father Connor told him with a grin.

Kurt nodded in thanks and headed down the hall he’d pointed to, following it and stepping out onto the sidewalk next to the garden by one side of the parking lot.

There was Liesel, standing near a pile of snow, looking down at what patterns had been dripped in by the icicles on the roof.

Kurt stepped next to her and she looked up at him before gesturing out to the line of cars slowly leaving the parking lot. “‘Tis the season for rush and consumerism,” she commented.

Kurt smiled at how her thoughts seemed to echo his. He wasn’t even imagining them this time. His cheeks heated at the reminder that he often day dreamed about her, and in less than honorable ways.

She looked back to him. “Do you do any Christmas shopping?”

“Ja,” he answered. “I have a few people; Father Connor, and a couple of friends that I used to work with.”

She smiled, and he felt his insides warm. “I wrap a lot of presents, but none of them are from me,” she told him. He lifted a brow, and she admitted, “I do gift wrapping for a department store. When I’m not working at Santa’s village, anyway.”

He smiled. “You must be very good at wrapping presents.”

She shrugged and looked away. “It’s the only thing I’m good at, aside from singing.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets and turned toward the parking lot. “My skills are only going to be useful for another few weeks, though,” she murmured softly.

Pain struck Kurt’s heart again; a few weeks were all he’d have with her. She’d leave after Christmas, he’d finish his training and be moved to his more permanent church, who knew where, and while she’d be able to return next year to sing, he would be unable to leave his post.

A slight panic filled him, clouding his judgment.

He’d never be able to see her again. He’d only have the cd she’d made, and the memories of her smile, eyes, lips, and body. And the agonizing need to touch himself as he thought of her every night.

Kurt’s hands reached out and took hold of her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

Liesel looked up to him in surprise, only for her eyes to widen as his lips crashed into hers.

He was gentle, but insistent, his soft kiss asking her lips to open, and letting his tongue slide in when they did. His arms wrapped around her, his hand on her side as his other fingers tangled in her hair to hold her close.

Liesel had been kissed before, but she had always felt so nervous, worried that she’d react badly or straight up freak out because of the past, and she had ended up a mess, not really able to enjoy it much, but this... This was different.

He was soft and warm, insistent, but not demanding, asking, but not forcing, it felt good, he tasted good, and he knew how to kiss, which was surprising for a priest.

Liesel’s eyes sprang wide again in shock. Her hands rested against his chest and shoulder, having moved there on their own, and they didn’t want to leave. She wanted to keep kissing him, but- he was a priest! She was kissing a priest!

She was one of those women, a temptress to turn the holy into the wicked, leading the pure astray and dragging them to the depths of Hell.

Whore-

Devil’s plaything-

Jezebel-

She pulled back, her lips parted, her eyes wide in horror.

Kurt looked down at her, desire visible despite his cloaking contacts.

Liesel pushed back from him slowly, stepping back despite her body crying at the loss of his. She turned and ran down the sidewalk and around the edge of the building to the part of the parking lot where she had left her car.

Kurt stood, watching the direction she’d left, seeing her car pull out and speed off. His heart felt as though it had torn to small pieces.

What had he done?

The answer was very simple. He’d kissed Liesel.

The rest of the very simple answer was that he’d destroyed everything; she would never be able to feel safe or comfortable around him again, she’d never be able to trust him, she’d never be able to look him in the eye, he’d broken his vows again, now, making him a disgrace to the church and humanity, plus mutants… All his fault.

And he couldn’t help but wonder numbly; what had he done?

He'd destroyed everything.

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surveysonfleek · 7 years ago

Text

504.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 25

2401. Does love come from the brain, the heart or elsewhere? scientifically, the brain. 2402. Have you ever given a shot? like vaccination? yes. 2403. Can you lick your elbow? nope. 2404. If i was going to be talking to you for 10 minutes, what would be something really intersting you know a little bit about but would like to know more?? the arts i guess. 2405. If today was a holiday, what would it be? a day were everyone gets to call in sick for work and enjoy themselves lol.

2406. If you were making a mix tape what would you HAVE to have one it? the weeknd. 2407. What do you think of the Sopranos? never watched it. 2408. Can you name three good things about the society you live in? every generally follows rules, respectful, everything ‘works’. How about three bad things? the minority of people who was ignorant, racist, rude etc. 2409. Have you ever had a crush on your teacher? nope. How about your boss? no. 2410. What is the difference between acting like someone in high school and acting like an adult? i guess most teens wouldn’t have the same responsibilities as an adult would have. 2411. What is the differance between a whopper and a whopper jr? the whopper jr is slightly smaller duh. 2413. Do you like: Moby? Run DMC? the Cure? Shakira? Blink182? the Pet Shop Boys? Weezer? Red Hot Chilli Peppers? Nick cave? The Pixies? KRS-One? The Juice Crew? not a huge fan of any of these artists. 2414. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D? yes. 2415. How difficult do you think it is for immigrants to come into your country? it is extremelyyyyy difficult now and it doesn’t matter where you’re from. it’s crazy. How difficult is it for them to become citizens? yes. 2416. Do you have what it takes to go live in another country, maybe for years, where you don't speak the language as your first language? probably not. it would take a lot of work and preparation. 2418. Have you ever died in your dreams? yeah i feel like i have. 2419. Do you like Douglas Adams? Kurt Vonnegut? Tom Robbins? Philip K Dick? Orson Scott Card? 2420. What clothing size are you? 12. 2421. Does science leave room for faith? idk. Does faith leave room for science? idk. 2422. What book should our political leaders read and why? not sure. i haven’t read anything good in awhile. 2423. Why and under what circumstances are people more likely to buy brand names rather then their generic counterparts? some people are just loyal to some brands while other rely on paying more for quality. 2424. What is your favorite glass object? a cup. 2425. Do you like to window shop? not really. 2426. Have you ever loved someone so much it just turned to hate? no. 2427. What is arrogance? check the dictionary. 2428. Are you more liberal or conservative? liberal. 2429. When there is a presidential election in the USA why do we never hear anything about the third party candidtes? Do you even know who they were last time? i don’t live in usa. 2430. Are you more likely to buy one really nice expensive outfit or a couple of cheap outfits? a couple cheap outfits. 2431. If you could, would you wear everything once, throw it out and buy something new? no. 2432. Do you believe that people have a responsiblity to be: good to other people? good at their job? helpful to the earth(not litter, recycle)? aware consumers(not buy animal tested products, not buy products that were made in sweatshops, etc)? non-wasteful (not spend their money frivolously when they could save it to help others)? charitable (donating money, volunteering)? yes to all. Which of the above are you? i’m generally good to other people, good at my job and non wasteful. i need to work on the rest. 2433. How do you feel about the internet? for the most part it’s great. convenient, entertaining and educational at times. Should there be laws and censorship on the internet? yes of course. 2434. Can you think of any questions that aren't already on this survey? no. 2435. Does sleep seem like a little death to you? no lol. 2436. Have you ever seen(and if yes, what did you think of): Joy Ride? Ghost World? Monsters Inc? yeah, it’s a classic. Queen of the Damned? Office Space? 2437. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real? about 5-6? 2438. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: maybe 15. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: i rotate between the same five. 2439. How many lovers have you had? one. 2440. Have you ever had surgery? For what? no. 2441. What puts you in the mood for sex? just the lead up to it i guess. 2442. Have you ever been on alcohol or drugs while at school or work? no. 2443. What do you think of Martha Stewart? i don’t really have an opinion. but i did enjoy her show with snoop dogg. 2445. What do you think of: British people? Australians? Americans? Canadians? Mexicans? French people? Germans? i could totally answer this section but i don’t wna come off as stereotyping these nationalities. 2446. What do you do to cure the hiccups? i haven’t had hiccups in years. 2447. What is the FIRST thing you do when you come home from school or work? get changed. 2448. Are you a slob? sometimes. 2449. Do you have a good work ethic? generally, yeah. 2450. Are you a pack-rat? nope. 2451. Do you roll your eyes alot? not that i’ve noticed. 2452. Do you prefer b-sides or remixes? b sides. 2453. What makes the world go 'round? love. 2454. Is Blink182 punk or pop? both. 2455. Do you remember Fat Albert? yes. 2456. Do you take things slowly, as they come? sometimes. 2457. Are you laid back or tense? more tense i think. 2458. Are you insecure? sometimes. 2459. Imagine you are working in a soup kitchen. You are supposed to give each person on the line a half a cup of soup. When hungry people come up to you do you just end up emptying the cabinets for them? i would tell them to come back for seconds so everyone in the line can have an equal share first. 2460. Why can't we give ourselves one more chance? we can. Why can't we all just get along? idk. 2461. What bands do you want to see live that you have never seen? idk. 2462. Do you like raunchy songs (like that lick ny neck, lick my back, lick my pussy, lick my crack song)? hahaha that’s probably the only raunchy blunt song i enjoy. 2463. Do you think that the Beatles are still the Beatles without John Lennon? never really a fan so i can’t comment. Would you want to see the Sex Pistols without Sid Vicious? no. Did you think that the members of Nirvana were smart to reform as the Foo Fighters instead of trying to stay Nirvana after Kurt's death? sure. 2464. Do you like the band Squeeze? never heard of them. 2465. When you are angry or upset do you know you're being irrational but you can't really stop? yep. 2466. Is there room in your life for one more trip to the moon? nah. 2467. Where are they now: Your first best friend in elementary school? no idea. your first crush? married to someone i went to uni with. your first boy/girlfriend? i’m still with him. your first love? ^ your first lover? ^ 2468. Do you have a lot of self pity? kinda. 2469. have you ever had something really good come out of something really bad that happened to you? not that i know of. 2470. Do you like magnetic poetry? what is that.. 2471. What is one of your secret delights? napping. surveys lol. What gives you a cheap thrill? youtube. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? idk. shopping. 2472. Have you ever misinterpreted song lyrics in a funny way (I used to think that 'wake me up before you go, go' was 'wake me up and buy me cocoa')? yes. 2473. What are the most popular/overused diary names? - 2474. Are you under pressure? yes. 2475. How well do you know yourself? well enough. 2476. Is 'soul' such an old fashioned word? no? Is 'love'? no. 2477. Name a person you love: my boyfriend. How do you love them? Let's count the ways... i love everything about him. 2478. Does your place have a lawn gnome? no. 2479. Do you ever wonder, 'why me'? sometimes. When? when i’m having a shitty time at work. 2480. Is rap a form of poetry? yes. 2481. What's the difference between a player and a baller? lol. 2482. What imagery do you get from the words 'woodsmoke and herbs'? someone cooking. 2483. How many days until your birthday? exactly a month. 2484. have you ever MEANT to hurt anyone? eh, kinda. 2485. What are 3 things you don't know? more than three things. 2486. Do you usually feel physically well or unwell? no. 2487. Would you ever submit your picture to be 'rated' on one of those 'hot or not' websites? no way. 2488. Why are there hardly ever any fat people in movies? because it doesn’t fit the hollywood aesthetic sadly. 2489. Is there any difference between what's real and what's for sale? i guess? 2490. Are you funky? no. 2491. Do apologies always make things all better? sometimes. not always. 2492. Let's just say that there is a huge ass bomb that can blow up the Whole Planet..it is set to blow up in 100 years. You can push the button to stop it but if you do you Will die. You only have this one chance to stop it. Do you stop it? it would have to be proven to me that it’s real first. i’m not gna kill myself over nothing. 2493. Let's say someone else found the button to stop it instead of you. Do you think it is their moral obligation to save humanity at the expense of their own life? it’s a tough decision so i wouldn’t be so quick to judge it tbh. 2494. What's the silliest name you can think of? idk. 2495. It's the middle of the night and you are home alone. Someone knocks on the door and says their car broke down and asks to use your phone. What do you do? let them use my phone but keep them outside. 2496. If a cop pulled you over and asked if he could search your car what would you say? i’d have to see if they’re even allowed to do that first. but i have nothing to hide anyway. 2497. Are you meek or nasty around cops? meek. if they’re breath testing me i just want it over and done with so i can go. 2498. If you were me and I was you then where would we be? idk. 2499. What has been the greatest invention so far? there have been plenty. power, lighting, all modes of transport, internet, all technology, medicine etc. 2500. We are at question 2500. Do you REALIZE what this MEANS??!!! halfway woo.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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todaydreambelieversfic · 7 years ago

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Author Spotlight: klaineship2 day 3

Day 3: readership and fandom

How long have you been translating Klaine fic?

When I read a particular entrancing line I sometimes wanted to know what it would sound like in German and tried to translate it. In January 2016 I just wanted to see if I could do it and translated @flamingmuse 's 'Good Night, Sweet Prince' , (manageable 629 words) and 'Make You A Man' which I send to her to post it or whatever she wanted to do with. But she encouraged me to get an AO3 account of my own and post it myself.

How many stories have you translated?

Since I started one and a half year ago I have translated and posted 69 works from 14 different authors. That's a 550.000 word count (according to my AO3 statistics).

Do you consider yourself a part of the Klaine fandom?

I think of myself as a part of the Klaine fandom though I haven't been involved in the active discussions and speculations during the run of Glee or the hiatuses. I am sure it would have been fun and very interesting. So I am a bit late to that party, but still I am here and I don't think I'm gonna leave any time soon.

Have you translated fic in other fandoms or non-Klaine Glee fic or are you a Klaine only kind of a person?

Not ever have I translated in another fandom except Glee.

What's your most popular translation(s)? (by whatever metrics you like) Why do you think people loved that story?

My most popular translation is 'Musik nur, wenn sie laut ist' on both of my fanfiction sides but I will relate to my German account on fanfiktion.de because the hits there a much more impressive. It's 10.700 hits up to date (still increasing) and 75 comments. I get a lot of response from people who'd been really intrigued to learn more about a world they didn't know existed. I also got comments from a CODA (Child Of a Deaf Adult) who compared her deaf mother's experiences with the German education system on deaf/hard-of-hearing children (like banning of Sign Language at school) with Blaine's. Most readers loved it for the same reasons I did, too: the insight into another world, the real life feeling of the story, all the ups and down, Kurt and Blaine as fathers of 3 girls and everything that comes with it.

What fic do you wish more people had read?

I wish I had more readers on AO3 in general, but I understand that most readers there are English speaking anyway, so they prefer reading the original story.

But if I had to choose I'd say it's a tie between 'Being Kurt Hummel' , the ultimate story for everyone who wants to get to know his personality and understand what's going on with him, and my 'Verliebte Jungs'-series which tells the development of the Kurt-Blaine-relationship from their first kiss through the rest of season 2. Part One is Blaine's POV and Part Two is Kurt's and of course these are also translations of @flamingmuse 's works. ;-)

What’s a good thing that’s come out of translating Klaine fic?

Well, without translating Klaine fic I'd have never gotten an AO3 account, but I did and therefore I found even more Klaine fic that had been restricted from the author for registered users only. Since I read many, many storys before I finally got an account, I've been able to give double kudos on many storys, first as a guest and then again as Klaineship. ;-)

I have created a Tumbr account to get in touch and communicate with authors and I've had some very nice exchanges with them. All this would have never happened hadn't I started translating.

I improved my English and my German grammar and writing skills a lot and I learned so much about not just Klaine and Glee but LGBTQ topics and issues as well. On Tumblr I met some precious people not just in the US but here in Europe too, so I might be able to even meet one or two of them in person.

And finally I think the energy I put in translating helped me a lot in coping with my 'empty-nest-syndrome' after both of my children left the house. One for University in a city 4 hours from mine (my son) and one for postgraduate international studies (my daugther, who got her masters degree 2 months ago and is currently living and working in Great Britain).

#author spotlight

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klaineship2 · 7 years ago

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TDB Rewatch Dream On Episode 1x19

“A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away.”

This might be the episode with the least Kurt in it (which is a bit of a deprivation after last weeks episodes) he has not one single line, except his little squeal over the bedazzled jacket (which is a bit more impressive in the german dub version as I might say), but this episode has two of my favorite guest stars at the same time. I think I said it before that I love Jonathan Groff and I am a huge fan of NPH, as well. When I read his biographie I couldn’t stop thinking, that he reminds me a lot of Chris Colfer in many ways. He’s such a natural talent on several fronts as well and hearing him speak as Brian Ryan about the dangers of glee club and how the dreams of those theater- and music-loving kids will never come true is something special if you think about his own ( and Chris’s) career, but back to the episode. There are several storylines concerning dreams coming true.

The Artie-storyline: After ‘Wheels’ this the second time Artie really struggles with his injury and the fact that he’s wheelchair-bound, next time will be (I think) 3 seasons later in ‘Glee, actually’ . It was very moving seeing him getting his hopes up and trying against all logic and then have everything literally chrashing down.... though his acceptance in the end came a bit too fast for my liking. They could have explored that topic a bit more intensely. I really like Kevin’s voice and therefore his solo in the end with Mike and Tina dancing. Concerning his dream-dance at the mall, I remember well, when I first watched this episode I was like “What? oh you glee-writers, this is not how it works.” But when I realised it was a dream-sequence I really liked it..... and it took many rewatches (a lot of them in slow motion) to find that Kurt is joining that flash-mob as well (and Mercedes, Brittany, Santana......)

The Rachel-Shelby-storyline: this is one of the few Rachel-storylines I really like. How she has that fantasy about her biological mother and wishes to know who she is and is scared about it at the same time. Her inner conflict and Shelby’s hurt touched me deeply (as a mother I can imagine what it must be like to give birth to your baby and not be allowed to even hold them....) but to wait 16 years and then not being able to wait those last 2 years as well until she'll be legally allowed to contact her but instead using Jesse to manipulate her and force that tape on her.... I don’t know. I said before I always had the feeling that Jesse, despite his spying, really liked Rachel. I love Finn but imo Rachel and Jesse have been the better pairing from the beginning. He is so sweet and caring here and really gets Rachel.

The Will-Brian-storyline: As I already said, I love Neil Patrick Harris, he’s such a multi-talented actor and singer and the continuity of the rivalry between Brian and Will was hilarious but finally Will earned some of my respect when he was being really protective about his glee kids and their dreams in life. He even took one for the team by passing on his leading role to Brian to save not only his glee club and the kid’s safe space at school but also Brian from his bitterness and give him some of his old dreams back. That was great, Will.

Other Kurt things (not so many this time)

examining the bedazzling of the jacket, before Brian takes it away from him again.... and his stunned face when he does

his outfit (purple shirt and suspenders) at the mall flash mob is perfect

other than Mercedes, he’s still a cheerio

Other things:

Jesse is back from springbreak and he really likes Rachel, I knew it from the beginning

soaking wet Jonathan Jesse

both Will-Brian-duets <3 <3

Brian being turned on by Sue and wanting to have angry sex

Puck’s line. “Did he die?”

Quinn comforting Artie during ‘Dream a Little Dream’

#TDB rewatch #TDB rewatch Dream On #todaydreambelievers #meta monday

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apostleshop · 6 years ago

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Indwelling

Great News has been shared on https://apostleshop.com/indwelling/

Indwelling

A few years ago I found myself on a pilgrimage to France and strolling up to Lavalla where Saint Marcellin began his ministry and lived with the Brothers. We moved through the rooms of the first monastery and celebrated the Eucharist, gathered around their original meal table.

As communion was distributed, I had a couple of moments to simply be still with Jesus in the palm of my hand before we consumed the host together. This was a rare moment for me, as I am normally shepherding four children around and dodging fellow parishioners back to the family corner! Whilst I’ve previously spent time in Adoration and fully believe in the real presence of God in the Eucharist, for a split second I connected with what it must have been like for Mary to carry Jesus for nine months inside her.

She was the dwelling place, the temple and the mother of God. How awesome it is that we can share in this through the Eucharist and the Holy Spirit in our lives. Mary’s life is a clear example for us of being a dwelling place for community, a temple for prayer and a mother in ministry.

At the General Audience on Wednesday, 15 November 2016, Pope Benedict XVI continued his Reflections on St. Paul, focussing on the Apostle’s teaching on the Holy Spirit. The Holy Father observed “in Paul’s reflection on the Spirit he not only explained his influence on the action of Christians, but also on their being. Indeed, it is he who said that the Spirit of God dwells in us (cf. Rom 8:9; I Cor 3:16) and that “God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts” (Gal 4:6). In Paul’s opinion, therefore, the Spirit stirs us to the very depths of our being.” God is more than a passive passenger travelling our earthly journey within us, He is active, responsive and prompting. Much like a baby within its mother’s womb, God transforms our entire being to become vessels which sustain and grow His love, coming to birth through our lives.

In a recent post on pray.com.au Susi Hii reflects on the 14th century German mystic Meister Eckhart, who suggests we each bear Christ in us, ‘I once had a dream in which I, even though a man, was pregnant like a woman with child. I was pregnant with nothingness; and out of this nothingness God was born.’ Hii compares Eckhart with Ron Rolheiser, who provides the opposite image: “In this life, we are like babies in the womb of God, safe, provided for but at the same restricted by the confines of the womb and unable to see God, on whom we are utterly dependent; death is our second birth into new life we can’t imagine while in the womb.”

Hii acknowledges that it is “hard for men to imagine themselves being pregnant, and it’s hard to imagine ourselves being babies in God’s womb. However, these images convey the intimacy and utter dependency that can only be experienced between mother and child in her womb.”

We read in Luke 1:41 that “when Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.” Do we recognise the presence of Christ in those we encounter? Kurt Kondrich writes, “John was clearly thinking and understanding the magnitude of the situation when he recognized Jesus, and as an unborn child he could not control himself.” Baby John the Baptist jumping in the womb is the beginning of John’s witness to Jesus and it is a witness infused with joy. Does the Holy Spirit dwelling in us leap for joy when we approach the Eucharist?

Does the Holy Spirit dwelling in us leap for joy when we approach the Eucharist? -@NathanAhearne Click To Tweet

On the Feast of Corpus Christi, our parish sang Michael W Smith’s ‘Breathe’ and as I pondered the line “Your holy presence living in me” it occurred to me that I am not “always desperate for you” or “lost without you.” I had previously thought that my lack of emotional longing for Jesus meant that I just wasn’t looking hard enough for God in my life. But maybe it’s because He constantly dwells within me, even when I don’t recognise His presence?

My heart leans towards the hope-filled prayer attributed to Saint Patrick of Ireland:

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise, Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of every one who speaks to me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me. Salvation is of the Lord. Salvation is of the Christ. May your salvation, Lord, be ever with us.

How do you recognise the indwelling of Jesus within you?

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surveystodestressme · 7 years ago

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105.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 26

2401. Does love come from the brain, the heart or elsewhere?

the brain

2402. Have you ever given a shot?

yep

2403. Can you lick your elbow?

i doubt it

2404. If i was going to be talking to you for 10 minutes, what would be something really interesting you know a little bit about but would like to know more??

ummm... i don’t know. something historic maybe. i don’t know a lot about history

2405. If today was a holiday, what would it be?

i don’t know

2406. If you were making a mix tape what would you HAVE to have one it?

hmmmm, something fun that you can dance to

2407. What do you think of the Sopranos?

never watched it.

2408. Can you name three good things about the society you live in?

respectful, technologically advanced, and intelligent

How about three bad things?

racism, social media over attachment, and ignorance

2409. Have you ever had a crush on your teacher?

I mean i’ve probably thought one was cute but nothing serious

How about your boss?

no.

2410. What is the difference between acting like someone in high school and acting like an adult?

teenagers are just more immature most of the time and adults are supposed to be more mature

2411. What is the difference between a whopper and a whopper jr?

the whopper jr is slightly smaller duh.

2413. Do you like:

Moby?

Run DMC?

the Cure?

Shakira?

Blink182? yeah

the Pet Shop Boys?

Weezer? yeah

Red Hot Chilli Peppers? yeah

Nick cave?

The Pixies?

KRS-One?

The Juice Crew?

2414. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D?

yes.

2415. How difficult do you think it is for immigrants to come into your country?

i’m sure it’s pretty difficult

How difficult is it for them to become citizens?

still prettty hard i’m sure

2416. Do you have what it takes to go live in another country, maybe for years, where you don’t speak the language as your first language?

i think it would be hard but if i tried to learn the language and studied hard, i think i would figure it out eventually.

2418. Have you ever died in your dreams?

yeah

2419. Do you like

Douglas Adams?

Kurt Vonnegut?

Tom Robbins?

Philip K Dick?

Orson Scott Card? idk any of these people

2420. What clothing size are you?

medium

2421. Does science leave room for faith?

i mean, not really

Does faith leave room for science?

idk.

2422. What book should our political leaders read and why?

ohhh idk

2423. Why and under what circumstances are people more likely to buy brand names rather then their generic counterparts?

most people who buy brand name things only for the name not because of how good or not good the product actually is.

2424. What is your favorite glass object?

mugs

2425. Do you like to window shop?

not at all

2426. Have you ever loved someone so much it just turned to hate?

no???

2427. What is arrogance?

check the dictionary.

2428. Are you more liberal or conservative?

2429. When there is a presidential election in the USA why do we never hear anything about the third party candidates? Do you even know who they were last time?

because they only try to focus on the two main candidates

2430. Are you more likely to buy one really nice expensive outfit or a couple of cheap outfits?

a couple cheap outfits.

2431. If you could, would you wear everything once, throw it out and buy something new?

nahh

2432. Do you believe that people have a responsibility to be:

good to other people?

good at their job?

helpful to the earth(not litter, recycle)?

aware consumers(not buy animal tested products, not buy products that were made in sweatshops, etc)?

non-wasteful (not spend their money frivolously when they could save it to help others)?

charitable (donating money, volunteering)? yeah

Which of the above are you?

i’m charitable, good to other people, and good at my job. the rest i’m not so good at

2433. How do you feel about the internet?

i like it, i just know i need to not be on it so much

Should there be laws and censorship on the internet?

on some things, yeah

2434. Can you think of any questions that aren’t already on this survey?

not off the top of my head

2435. Does sleep seem like a little death to you?

kind of? ig

2436. Have you ever seen(and if yes, what did you think of):

Joy Ride?

Ghost World?

Monsters Inc? yeah, it’s a classic.

Queen of the Damned?

Office Space?

2437. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn’t real?

like 13 lol

2438. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?:

around 50

Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?:

i like a variety

2439. How many lovers have you had?

one.

2440. Have you ever had surgery? For what?

when i was really young, i swallowed a penny lol

2441. What puts you in the mood for sex?

a lot of things honestly.

2442. Have you ever been on alcohol or drugs while at school or work?

i smoked weed before i went to work before and that was a bad decision idk how people do it every day

2443. What do you think of Martha Stewart?

i don’t really have an opinion

2445. What do you think of:

British people?

Australians?

Americans?

Canadians?

Mexicans?

French people?

Germans? i don’t mind any of them except americans (i am american) and they’re mostly a bunch of idiots and give us all a bad rep to other countries.

2446. What do you do to cure the hiccups?

drink water? idk

2447. What is the FIRST thing you do when you come home from school or work?

find something to do that’s fun

2448. Are you a slob?

the opposite, actually

2449. Do you have a good work ethic?

generally, yeah.

2450. Are you a pack-rat?

nope.

2451. Do you roll your eyes alot?

not really

2452. Do you prefer b-sides or remixes?

b sides.

2453. What makes the world go ‘round?

money

2454. Is Blink182 punk or pop?

a lil bit of both.

2455. Do you remember Fat Albert?

yes.

2456. Do you take things slowly, as they come?

it depends

2457. Are you laid back or tense?

more tense i think.

2458. Are you insecure?

not usually

2459. Imagine you are working in a soup kitchen. You are supposed to give each person on the line a half a cup of soup. When hungry people come up to you do you just end up emptying the cabinets for them?

i would tell them to come back for seconds so everyone in the line can have an equal share first.<---- (what the last person wrote and i 100% agree)

2460. Why can’t we give ourselves one more chance?

we can.

Why can’t we all just get along?

good question

2461. What bands do you want to see live that you have never seen?

oh there’s plenty

2462. Do you like raunchy songs (like that lick ny neck, lick my back, lick my pussy, lick my crack song)?

i don’t mind them i guess? lol

2463. Do you think that the Beatles are still the Beatles without John Lennon?

sure

Would you want to see the Sex Pistols without Sid Vicious?

idk who they are really so idc

Did you think that the members of Nirvana were smart to reform as the Foo Fighters instead of trying to stay Nirvana after Kurt’s death?

sure.

2464. Do you like the band Squeeze?

never heard of them.

2465. When you are angry or upset do you know you’re being irrational but you can’t really stop?

pretty much

2466. Is there room in your life for one more trip to the moon?

huh?

2467. Where are they now:

Your first best friend in elementary school? oh i don’t know, i have her on facebook though

your first crush? i think he lives 30 minutes from me

your first boy/girlfriend? ^^^^

your first love? ^^^^^^

your first lover? he is at his house right now

2468. Do you have a lot of self pity?

nah

2469. have you ever had something really good come out of something really bad that happened to you?

i’m sure

2470. Do you like magnetic poetry?

i don’t even know what that is

2471. What is one of your secret delights?

uhhh i don’t know

What gives you a cheap thrill?

idk

What is your biggest guilty pleasure?

i have a lot of them

2472. Have you ever misinterpreted song lyrics in a funny way (I used to think that 'wake me up before you go, go’ was 'wake me up and buy me cocoa’)?

plenty of times haha.

2473. What are the most popular/overused diary names?

2474. Are you under pressure?

kind of

2475. How well do you know yourself?

pretty well, i think

2476. Is 'soul’ such an old fashioned word?

i don’t think so

Is 'love’?

no.

2477. Name a person you love: my boyfriend.

How do you love them? Let’s count the ways…

i love everything about him.

2478. Does your place have a lawn gnome?

i have two really tiny gnomes but they would look silly on my lawn

2479. Do you ever wonder, 'why me’? sometimes, yeah

When?

when i’m having a shitty day

2480. Is rap a form of poetry?

i suppose

2481. What’s the difference between a player and a baller?

i don’t think there is a difference?

2482. What imagery do you get from the words 'woodsmoke and herbs’?

food

2483. How many days until your birthday?

a little less than a month

2484. have you ever MEANT to hurt anyone?

eh, kinda.

2485. What are 3 things you don’t know?

there’s plenty of things that i don’t know

2486. Do you usually feel physically well or unwell?

sometimes, yeah

2487. Would you ever submit your picture to be 'rated’ on one of those 'hot or not’ websites?

haha maybe

2488. Why are there hardly ever any fat people in movies?

because they don’t like overweight people in hollywood, however i’ve seen a lot more overweight people in movies recently.

2489. Is there any difference between what’s real and what’s for sale?

huh?

2490. Are you funky?

funky fresh

2491. Do apologies always make things all better?

not always, no

2492. Let’s just say that there is a huge ass bomb that can blow up the Whole Planet..it is set to blow up in 100 years. You can push the button to stop it but if you do you Will die. You only have this one chance to stop it. Do you stop it?

if it was for real, then yeah. and hopefully after i have time to say goodbye to my family.

2493. Let’s say someone else found the button to stop it instead of you. Do you think it is their moral obligation to save humanity at the expense of their own life?

i mean, no not necessarily. it would be a hard decision for anyone

2494. What’s the silliest name you can think of?

kudos

2495. It’s the middle of the night and you are home alone. Someone knocks on the door and says their car broke down and asks to use your phone. What do you do?

if i am home alone, i am not answering the door unless i know someone is supposed to be coming over. they are shit out of luck.

2496. If a cop pulled you over and asked if he could search your car what would you say?

i know my rights, they cannot legally search my car without probable cause. and they would have no reason to search my car anyways.

2497. Are you meek or nasty around cops?

meek. i’ve never had a problem with one before

2498. If you were me and I was you then where would we be?

idk.

2499. What has been the greatest invention so far?

electricity, farming, heating, carpentry, etc.

2500. We are at question 2500. Do you REALIZE what this MEANS??!!!

halfway point

#bored #survey #questions #quiz

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kurtty-drabbles · 5 years ago

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EW Verse (rejection)

N/A: Atlantis has to be one of the most underrated movies ever. Disney, if you want a live action...why not do for this movie? Also, EW Kurt being rejected is fun. To address somethings, I still vividly remember all the details of that movie, but, for Helga´s past...I´ll sort making up(I remember they had those cards with the character´s past, but, I never saw Helga...allegedly, she has a husband and is a complex relationship. 1) or he´s gay and they are married in name only 2) is an open marriage 3)she married for money. I think I´ll go with the second option and a bit of the first.)

@djinmer4 @sailorstar9 @dannybagpipesarecalling @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

The evil necromancer not always answers such request, but, when Preston B. Whitemore asks if Kurt would like to help them in a voyage, Kurt has no shame in telling his price.

Kurt does not care for the motivation of the so-called team. Money, fame or boredom means little to Kurt, as long he gets his fair share. Commander Lyle Tiberius is pretty on the nose on what he wants. But, before they could search the missing Atlantis...the commander explains they need one final addition to the team.

"Helga is going to bring him...she has way with the men," Commander said jester and goes to Whilemina, the old and odd secretary, to give an important message to the crew. The last addition is arriving.

Helga Sinclair arrives looking a bit smug at the new addition, a man with short brown hair and glasses, a typical nerd. Kurt pays him no mind, instead, focusing on Helga Sinclair.

She´s speaking in German with the nerd as she indicates where his room will be and to watch out for ''Cookie'' food.

"Hello, I believe we aren´t formed introduced," Kurt said in German and Helga raises one eyebrow at him and has the convenient excuse of carrying a bag to not let the necromancer kiss her hand.

"Charmed," she said in a dead tone.

"You´re a native of Germany? Do you want to talk in our language?"

Helga knows very well how powerful this man is, instead, she chose a different option. "Wait, sorry, my German is bad, I speak more French with my husband, but, this is Milo Thatcher...he speaks several languages, even German, isn´t right, Milo?"

Milo feels that he should have run when he had the chance. The man nods and Helga pats his shoulder and leaves. Milo speaks in German, but, Kurt teleports away.

"Rude!"

_______________________________________

As the mission is takin time, Kurt is noticing that he won´t like 4 eyes that much. The man is often reading his old books and speaks on Atlantis as if truly believe this is a peaceful expedition. Fool.

But, the worst of all, is ...Helga. Why she feels impressed by this nerd when Kurt is right here?

"So, we will sink the monster with this, it will be the same thing to unclogged the sink"

"Linguist, plumber and explorer? He´s single because he wants to be."

Kurt to prove he is far better than the nerd, use his magic to defeat the monster. In the end, Helga seems to be more impressed by Milo then by Kurt´s magic.

Milo is not his favourite person.

______________________________________

When Kurt finds out that Helga did make insinuations to Milo, but, he politely declines, Kurt thought for sure, now, she would see the reason, instead, they found a new person to spend the night.

Kurt shakes his head at the bad taste this woman has. Well, at least, the teammates are giving hell to Milo for his latest idea, and Kurt feels a bit vindicate, until, Dr Joshua Storngbear offers a friend hand and now, only Kurt is eating alone.

Well, Whilemina does seem very interested in spending the night with the man and she´s old enough, as some like to joke, to be with Kurt. "By the way, necromancer put this on...Whilemina loves to sleepwalk naked"

Can this get any worse?

_________________________________________

When they arrive in Atlantis, a beautiful princess greet them. She has white hair(it resembles Ororo in this regards, but, only that) her skin is brown and contrast greatly and nicely with the baby blue outfit she wears and her eyes are blue.

She introduces herself as Princess Kidagash. She´s beautiful and has magical powers. She used to heal Milo´s cut.

Kurt introduces himself as charming as he can and Kida is not enthusiasm as Kurt was hoping for, yet, whatever ''Mole'' said earned him a black eye.

And to his utter horror, she seems taken back by Milo´s dorkiness. Even when he got a few lines of French wrong.

____________________________________________________

"We need someone to distract the princess to get us more time," the commander said. Kurt offer himself, of course, he would like to know the princess more, but, maybe the commander is not impressed by this or wants to humiliate Kurt because his pick was...Milo.

Kurt is not happy. The dork does not know how to flirt. Stuttering and speaking gibberish. How any woman could find this nerd remotely attractive?

Kurt is not spying on them. Only wants to make sure the mission is going smoothly, and to his horror, Kida is really flirting with him. Why? What this nerd has to make a woman like Helga and Kidagakash so into him?

Is there any way this could get worse?

____________________________________

Of course, there is. The Princess turns into a powerful deity and even in her powerful form she still has eyes for Milo Thatcher. Kurt did help to save Atlantis as it does not appear right to kill several people for one big stone.

And when is time to leave, Kurt has to watch the princess looking in awe at Milo as the Nerd gives the same look.

Well, whatever, he can try again, a few years later. Milo is a human and a nerd.

________________________________

Epilogo

Kurt is back to Atlantis. Time to see if Atlantis really improved their tastes. Atlantis, in the last 200 years change a lot. Unlike other kingdoms, a gay wedding is more visible and well accepted, and this makes Kurt think of Helga´s husband.

Kurt was searching for the princess, now, Queen and is shock beyond belief. Milo Thatcher is still alive.

"HOW?" he asked knowing no human should live that long.

"Oh, you´re here again, necromancer, wanna say hi to my husband? we´re thinking in have a third child now, here, look at your kids" and Milo is holding a 3 years old girl that have Kida´s hair and a boy with Milo´s hair.

Kurt feels like crying. They are still together and deeply in love. To save face, Kurt makes up a lie saying he was in the area to see if the monster is fairing well, he did hear some nasty rumours.

"No need, Kurt, me and Kida are thinking in investigating the rumour on our own, you can focus on other projects"

Kurt nods and leaves. Wondering what just happened. Now, woman think being a nerd is hot?

"What is wrong with those women? I was right here"

______________________________ Epilogo two.

Kurt is with his student when a beautiful woman shows up. She´s beautiful and Kurt can´t help by smiling to indicate he´s here, but, the woman ignores him and goes to the student saying if he wants to spend the night with her...he´s more than welcome.

"So, a random woman offer to sleep with you?" Kurt asked on the verge of crying.

"Oh, you heard that too. So, you won´t need me for this mission, right?"

"Go!" Kurt said and he off to the bar now. What´s happening with the ladies?

#ew verse #disney au #atlantis au #milo/kida #evil wizard kurt #kurt wagner #in the movie maybe Helga was being sacarstic when she said that but for the sake of this au let´s assume she did fancy Milo #Kitty will know about this and laugh #based on a prompt

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kayfabeklown-blog · 7 years ago

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Summer Slam Review!

So the main event is now starting!

Two smart starts for the show. Colonel Sanders, and starting the show with Paul Heyman on the mic.

Firstly Cena v Baron Corbin - John Cena coming down to the usual “John cena Sucks” which I now see the same as Kurt Angle. Corbins new theme is a bit weak. As usual the crowd are split wether they like Cena or not... Or maybe its just the like Corbin less. Corbin dominating early in the match, slowly wearing Cena down. Back and forth the match goes. Corbin slides under the ropes and runs back in to surprise Cena. Cena catches Corbin with a clothesline then an Attitude Adjustment. 3 Count for Cena.

Womans Smackdown title match, Naomi v Natalya - really not interested in this division. Natalya is over rated in my eyes. Back and forth with some close calls but Natalya gets the win with the Hart signature Sharpshooter.

Big Show v Big Cass - this story line has had me hooked from the start. Its been emotional. Big shows WMD punches are incredibly tough looking. I absolutely love Enzo on the mic.

Orton v Rusev - incredibly short and fast. dissapointed really

wwe raw womans championship Sasha Banks v Alexa Bliss- I like Bliss in the ring. really not keen on Sasha. Sasha struggling to get real momentum going to start the match. Close call from Sasha with the Bank Statement. Alexa fighting dirty. Pulling the ringside apron from under Sasha’s feet. Banks making it back into the ring by 9 count. Bliss attacking instantly and targeting the shoulder. close 2 count by Alexa. Another two attempts to the Bank Statement and Bliss taps. Sasha becomes the womans champ for the 4th time.

The Demon Balor v Bray Wyatt - around this time last year I said “do you know what I want to see? Balor against Wyatt because that would be creepy as S**t” so when this as announced I was over the moon. I have a man crush on both of these men. So happy to see Finn back as the Demon and to hear him use “He’s got the whole world” into his entrance was a nice touch. Straight off Finn is settling the pace and controlling the match. Wyatt pullnig off a suspended suplex out onto the ringside floor gives him the chance to build some momentum. Match keeps a steady pace and Wyatt starts to take control. But doesn’t manage to stop the Demon King. Balor Lands the Coup De Grace and seals the win.

Sheamus & Cesaro v Rollins & Ambrose - The anticipated return of the Shield. More interested to see how this will affect the fatal 4 way. The Shield have not missed a beat and still work amazing together, But so do Cesaro and Sheamus. Cesaro getting annoyed at fans and going into the crowd to rip apart a beach ball. Wisely The Bar isolated Rollins. As they double team Rollins outside Ambrose dives off the turnbuckle to even the odds and give Rollins some breathing space. Double Suicide dive by the Shield showing they can still work in unison. Close two count and pin interrupted by Cesaro after a cross body from Rollins to Sheamus. Attempt to the Shield Powerbomb also interrupted by Cesaro. Two close pins from Sheamus to Ambrose. Cesaro locks Ambrose into a sharpshooter while Sheamus keeps Rollins out the ring. Cesaro changes into a crossface to keep Ambrose from reaching the ropes. The Bar keeping Ambrose isolated now. Close two count pin broken by Rollins this time. Rollins hits Sheamus with the knee and Ambrose catches him with a Dirty Deeds to win the belts. The Shield have the belts back.

United States match - Kevin Owens v Aj Styles W special ref Shane McMahon - Will Shane continue to be a biased referee as history has been so far? This match is setting up for Shane to be fighting with one if not both of these guys soon. Some amazing counters in this match. These two competitors have got to know each other very well. Shane has called it as fairly as possbile missed a 3 count for Owens to win and a tap out for AJ to win. AJ to hit with the Phenomenal forearm and a Styles clash to get the 3 count.

WWE Championship

Shinsuke Nakamura v Jinder Mahal - Shinsukes entrance always gives me shivers. Such beautiful music especially when there is a live performance for it. Match going quite even and leaning towards Shinsuke advantage. but as usual the Singh Brothers run some distractions. Jinder takes control for a while but the strong strikes of Nakamura come into play. Jinder finishes the match with the win. Some more distractions from the Singh brothers to get Jinder the chance to land his signature move.

Fatal 4 way Universal Champoinship Braun v Brock v Samoa Joe v Roman Reigns - As soon as the bell rings chaos persues. Reigns and Strowman tear into each other while Samoa joe and Brock go toe to toe. Not long until Brock unleashes German Suplex City to all Roman and Joe. Strowman and Lesnar lock up and Strowman throws Lesnar around like a wet paper bag. Joe locks Lesnar in the Coquina Clutch for Reigns to spear Brock through the barricade, Strowman attacks the rest of the competitors and puts Brock through a table. As soon as Brocks back on his feet Strowman puts him through another table. Strowmans next feat of strength is to then through an announcement table ontop of Lesnar causing Lesnar to be taken out on a stretcher. Leaving the match now as a triple threat. Strowman still slowly dominating the match. Lesnar comes back to the ring and taking Strowman out the action. Giving Reigns a suplex and them Joe. Failing to lift Strowman for one. Reigns giving a superman punch to Strowman and a spear to Lesnar and still only getting a two count. after attempting a F5 to everyone finally Brock lands it on Samoa joe and gets a two count as Roman breaks up the pin. two superman punches to take Brock down.

Roman goes for a speak and Lesnar catches him with a F5 to retain the belt! Possibly one of my favorite matches of late.

besides the start of the kick off and the Orton v Rusev match, everything else has been enjoyable!

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fadingfartconnoisseur · 7 years ago

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Things to do in Stellenbosch Beyond the Wine!

What comes to mind when you hear the name Stellenbosch?

Wine is probably right at the top of the list and for good reason; this is one of South Africa‘s most famed wine producing regions and there are enough vineyards and wineries to make Bacchus proud!

But what else is there to do in Stellenbosch once you’ve guzzled about fifty glasses of Pinotage?

Well, it turns out quite a lot!

Things to do in Stellenbosch

Over the course of my week in Stellenbosch, I visited a total of 9 wineries and while this was a real highlight, I also discovered that Stellenbosch has a lot more going on beyond wine tourism!

They have restaurants galore, nature within arm’s reach, a vibrant nightlife scene thanks to the large student population, and a whole bunch of really cool tours and experiences that showcase a different side of Stellenbosch.

Here’s a little taste of what I got up to:

Have lunch at De Warenmarkt

De Warenmarkt is set in a historic 18th-century building and it acts as Stellenbosch’s central food market.

The place boasts an oyster bar, a juice bar, a bakery, a waffle stand, a coffee stand, a restaurant, a deli, and a wine bar, where you can grab ready to go meals. How’s that for choices?

We went there for lunch one day and shared a giant meat platter called the Butcher’s Choice, where you choose your cut of meat and then the kitchen prepares it for you on site. We also added some classic Boerewors (sausage) to the order – the whole thing was delicious!

You won’t leave this place hungry, that’s for sure.

See what’s brewing at BCCC

For coffee lovers, a visit to Blue Crane Coffee Company is a must.

BCCC was started when three friends – a Scot, a German and a South African – sat down for a few glasses of Chardonnay at a wine bar – only in Stellenbosch! They wanted to create something different and they’ve done exactly that with a coffee shop that boasts both a roastery and laboratory on site.

Seriously, you need to take a peek into their lab if you get the chance. Here you can see that brewing the perfect cup is both a science and an art. They have a slow-drip cold brew coffee contraption where coffee spirals down one drop at a time.

And their coffee cups? Oh, those are custom-made by a local craftsman who has over 30 years experience making traditional ceramic pottery.

How cool is that?

Visit the Blaauwklippen Family Market

If you happen to visit Stellenbosch on a Sunday, then it’s worth swinging by the Blaauwklippen Family Market which takes place at Blaauwklippen Vineyards from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

It’s a great place for everyone no matter your age.

They do have games and rides for the little ones, but you can also browse the antique market, shop for souvenirs, enjoy live music by local talent, not to mention eat a lot of delicious food!

The market has lots of food vendors on site – imagine everything from braai to tacos and dim sum! – and they set up picnic tables under the fig trees, which is a really lovely place to enjoy a Sunday lunch.

I ended up ordering one portion of the lamb braai from Mr Spitbraai, which was enough to feed a whole family – seriously, they are way too generous with their portions! The meat was juicy and it just melted in your mouth.

See Kayamandi through a local’s eyes

We can’t speak of Stellenbosch without also mentioning the townships, namely Kayamandi, which was originally built to house black migrant male labourers who worked on the farms in the Stellenbosch area.

We visited Kayamandi with local guide Thembi as part of the Stellenbosch 360 initiative, which aims to show visitors a 360-degree view of Stellenbosch beyond wine tourism.

Thembi was the perfect person to show us around. For starters, her family has been in Kayamandi for three generations, which meant she knew every single person we encountered that day, but also, she had a joyous personality which made it a pleasure to listen to her stories and learn about township life.

It’s easy to get caught up in the world of luxury that surrounds vineyards, but I think it’s important to see the other side of the coin, and Stellenbosch 360 is a great way to scratch that surface with a local who can offer a valuable perspective.

Have a traditional Xhosa meal

After touring Kayamandi we went to Nocawe’s home – another well known Kayamandi local – who runs “dine with a local” experiences.

She prepared a traditional Xhosa meal for us, which I was excited to try seeing as this was a completely new cuisine for me.

For dinner, we had chakalaka, a spicy vegetable relish dish; pap, which is made from ground maize and reminded me of polenta; and a few other tasty pumpkin and spinach dishes. Everything was delicious and I think everyone in our group agreed as we all served ourselves seconds and thirds!

As dinner was winding down, we were also treated to a Xhosa song and dance performance.

Go on a biking tour of Stellenbosch

Another thing I did in Stellenbosch was explore the town by bike, which is very easy considering the town is quite flat.

For this, I joined the Adventure Shop, which runs guided bike tours that combine a mix of historic sights in the old town with a taste of nature, including a scenic ride through the Jonkershoek Valley.

This was a great way to see parts of Stellenbosch that I wouldn’t have been able to reach on foot, nor would I have ever known about if I didn’t have a local guiding me.

Enjoy some live music at Rebellion

For a taste of nightlife, we went out to Rebellion Courtyard Cafe where we enjoyed drinks and live music.

On the night we were there Fruit Vendor was playing and he became an instant hit with our group. He sang a song called Real Job, which was a catchy tune about the expectation to get ‘a real, real job’. What he didn’t know was that he was singing this to a room full of bloggers, YouTubers, Instagrammers and other creatives who have chosen rather unconventional paths.

We all burst into a fit of laughter by the time the chorus came along and this became our official anthem for the rest of the trip. We ended up meeting him later that evening and chatting about how that was the perfect song for our group.

This bar is a pretty cool spot if you’re looking for a laidback evening. I also liked that they had a few fire pits out back to stay warm – much needed in late autumn.

Soak in the scenery by sidecar

Another highlight of my time in Stellenbosch was doing a sidecar tour with Cape Sidecar Adventures.

This was a really fun and unusual way to soak in the scenery, but what made my day was getting to ride with Brody the Dog. Because seriously, how cute is he?

The little guy rode behind me and rested his head on my shoulder every once in a while. He also seemed to understand traffic stops and he would hop out whenever we were at a red light, where he’d have a sniff, and then hop back in as soon as the light went green.

I pretty much smiled for the whole outing.

Treat yourself to brunch

Who said vineyards are only good for wine tastings?

Most wineries in Stellenbosch either have a restaurant or deli on site, and can you think of anything more idyllic than a leisurely brunch overlooking the vineyards?

Over the course of our week in Stellenbosch, we enjoyed brunch at a few different vineyards, including:

Lanzerac Deli: We had a mouthwatering spread of fruits, deli meats, cheeses, chutneys, olives, breads and more.

Tokara Deli: Some of the best eggs benedict I’ve had in a long time!

The Bakery: Perfect for al fresco dining and lots of yummy baked goods.

Sample vinegar infused with botanicals

I first learned what real vinegar should taste like when I did a vinegar tasting in Modena, Italy, and the tasting at Rozendal brought back memories from that experience.

Rozendal has a bit of a unique history because vinegar making happened by pure accident.

They used to be a winery focusing on Bordeaux blends but then one year the owner Kurt Amman discovered that his 1988 vintage was flawed – it contained way too much acidity! Rather than throwing out the wine, he decided to experiment with vinegar-making and a new business was born.

What sets the vinegar at Rozendal apart is that they are infused with botanicals like fynbos, hibiscus, green tea and lavender, which not only enhance the flavours and aromas, but also provide a variety of health benefits.

I also have to mention that Rozendal has a beautiful farm with lots of animals, and their sweet German Shepherd, Jasper, immediately won me over.

Do an olive oil tasting

For something a little different, we visited Tokara, which is a vineyard that also happens to be home to a huge olive grove. Aside from making wine, they produce their own olive oil, so we sat down to sample 5 different types of extra virgin olive oil.

Our guide explained to us that the procedure for sampling olive oil is the same as that for sampling wine; you’re meant to pour a little bit in a glass, swirl it around, take a sip and then let the oil roll around in your mouth.

Tokara is a beautiful property to roam, so after the tasting, we enjoyed some of the art they have on display both indoors and outdoors.

Okay, but now show me the wine!

The idea behind this blog post is to show you that there is more to Stellenbosch than just wine tourism, but if you’re coming all the way to wine country, chances are you’re going to hit up a vineyard or two…or ten!

Here is a list of all the vineyards I have visited in Stellenbosch over the course of my two visits. I’ve summed each one with what was most memorable to me:

Delheim Wine Estate – Famed for their cupcakes and wine pairing.

Avontuur Estate – Home to award-winning studs and they do a delicious fudge and wine pairing.

Spier Wine Farm – Beautiful grounds and you can do a Segway tour of the vineyard.

Middelvlei Wine Estate – They cook up a delicious braai to go along with their wines and are family-friendly.

Jordan Wine Estate – You can do a fun wine safari through their vineyards.

Lanzerac Wine Estate – Beautiful manor and nice spot to dine al fresco.

Delaire Graff Estate – The ultimate in luxury with a stunning mountain backdrop.

Tokara Wine Estate – Where wine, olive oil and art collide.

Stellenbosch Vineyards – Great wine plus delicious waffles at their Bus Stop restaurant.

Beau Constantia – Private tasting with beautiful views over the vineyard.

Fairview – Delicious wine and cheese tasting plus goats roaming around.

Muratie – Very historic with antiques and century-old cobwebs.

Lovane – Fun wine and chocolate tasting in a small boutique winery.

Villiera – Modern setting that offers sparkling wine and nougat tastings.

Where to stay in Stellenbosch

When it comes to accommodations in Stellenbosch, you have two options: you can either stay in the town (this is a good idea if you don’t have your own transportation) or you can do a vineyard stay (this works well if you rent a car to get around).

Over the course of my visit, I spent my first night in town at the Oude Werf, and the rest of my week was split between Spier Wine Farm and Jordan Wine Estate in the outskirts of town. Yes, these places are double and triple what I’d normally choose for myself, but since I was being hosted I didn’t get to choose where I stayed. There are more budget-friendly options – visiting Stellenbosch certainly doesn’t have to break the bank! – and you can get a better idea of hotel prices here.

Another great alternative is AirBnB. They have some beautiful homes listed in Stellenbosch that cost between $35-60 per night, and yes, you get the entire house to yourself! If you’ve never used AirBnB before, you can use my $40 discount here. If I were coming back to Stellenbosch on my own, an AirBnB home would be by personal choice.

How to get to Stellenbosch

South African Airways offers daily flights to Cape Town via Johannesburg. Tip: snatch a window seat on the flight to Cape Town because the views as you fly into the city are pretty incredible!

Once you’re in Cape Town, you’ll need some wheels to get to Stellenbosch. You can either hire a car for the duration of your stay or pay for a transfer.

Depending on traffic it’s about a 35-45 minute drive from the airport to the centre of Stellenbosch. We used First Car Rental for the length of our stay.

Have you been to Stellenbosch? What other activities would you recommend aside from drinking wine?

I visited Stellenbosch as part of the #Stellenblog campaign, however, all opinions expressed here are mine alone. For more ideas of things to do in Stellenbosch, you can check out the Stellenbosch Experience blog.

via Travel Blogs http://ift.tt/2tnvbtm

#IFTTT #Travel Blogs

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valkyrieofsmut · 6 years ago

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Engel de la Gargouille Section 2 part 2

Engel de la Gargouille (Gargoyle’s Angel)

Kurt Wagner/ Nightcrawler x Female OC

Types: Smut, Angst, Mutual pining, Pregnancy, Romance, Love, Insecurity, Long as hell…

Overall series warnings: Smut, bit of violence, swearing, German (translations provided, but I have bad grammar… Sorry native speakers…) (Will be added as they come up) Chapter warnings will be added individually as well.

A/n- Angeline is still trying to get Kurt’s attention, but she was never taught proper human interaction techniques. Since the girls before spread nasty rumors about her, there is some talk about them, and her, in a rude way. Poor Angeline is putting herself through some hurtful shit to do what she thinks she needs to get Kurt’s attention. Ah, yes, also, it was summer last chap, and is about fall this one. Also, this is where you’re going to start seeing all the weird notations around when people are speaking, so I’ll put the legend in here again. <3 you guys!

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Legend: “Words” = speaking “*Words*” = speaking in their native language, but no one who can’t understand them is around “Not English words” English words = speaking in their native language, but other people don’t understand them ‘Words’ = thinking, of course in their native language, but no need to make a distinction since no one can hear them “Words” other words = speaking psychically “Words, not english word” other words = speaking psychically and with a word in a language the other person doesn’t understand “Words” other words = memories

Story!

Finally, the group of girls left for higher schooling, and Angeline was glad, hoping that the rumors would go away, but, of course, they didn’t.

She only hoped that Kurt wouldn’t believe them, and that he wouldn’t think less of her. She also hoped that she was wrong about his preference, so she was still been trying to get his attention, though still unsuccessfully.

As Angeline walked down the hall worrying and thinking about this, she looked up to see Kurt walking toward her.

She put her arms up and stretched, bringing them down behind her head and ending with her wings, nearly blocking his path.

She glanced behind her, hoping to catch his eye as he looked back at her, but he still hadn't noticed her.

Angeline’s wings sagged, nearly dragging on the ground, as she turned back around and continued walking.

She decided that after this many months of trying, if he was still not acknowledging her existence, she probably didn’t have a chance, but she couldn't quite bring herself to give up; her heart throbbed painfully at the thought, making her push forward and hope for happiness.

Angeline continued down the hall, passing a few more people, and after she passed, she heard them talking. About her. About how much of a slut she was. About how she was dressed. About her flaunting herself around. It wasn't her fault that the boys here were perverts! She only wanted Kurt to look at her, she was only trying to get his attention, but the other boys all stared at her and made her uncomfortable with their thoughts.

She passed a room where loud music was pouring through the door, and paused as she heard the lyrics. “I'm tired of being what you want me to be-" Angeline blinked and stepped backward so she could hear the words again. They felt vaguely familiar to something inside of her. “Everything that you thought I would be is falling apart, right in front of you-" Angeline felt her heart race as the memory of her mother angrily strangling her as her dreams of forcing her to be a movie star went up in flames filled her mind. Her eyes were wide, and her hand reached out to steady herself against the door frame. She had never heard this music before…

“I know, I know, I'll turn it down,” the kid in the room said.

Angeline looked up and saw that he was talking to her. “I- no, I've just never heard this before,” she told him with a smile.

He rolled his eyes, expecting flack. “I know, I should listen to something else, it's really depressing,” he sighed dramatically. He sounded like he had heard that a lot.

“No, not depressing- relevant,” she decided.

“You're messing with me, right?” He asked.

Angeline shook her head. “Who sings it?”

Angeline walked to her room, carrying a stack of cds the boy had let her borrow, from that band, and a few he said were kind of like them, as well. Music and singing had always been her escape, even if it was fake happy music, as long as she liked the beat or the tune, but now, she'd found music that related to how she felt.

... ... ...

Angeline ran the towel over her skin, making sure it was dry before pulling on the outfit she'd laid out before taking a shower.

She looked up to the mirror to brush her hair, but her eyes strayed away from her reflection.

She took a breath and focused her eyes on her hair as she brushed it.

It felt like something was stabbing her heart, likely the same something that had been stabbing it when she was at her mother's house, because the pain of having to put herself on display as an object, and the disgust and hatred that was filling her heart and stomach felt the same.

She took another breath as she brushed her hair.

“It's not forever; he only has to look once… as soon as you get his attention, you can stop…”

Pain stabbed through her chest as her gaze slipped away from her reflection, her eyes drifting shut and her hands falling to her sides.

“Only once… you can stop soon, it can't take that long…” She told herself as she fought away the tears that were trying to grow in her eyes.

... ... ...

Angeline mentally repeated her plan, and what she was going to say and do as she stopped near the door to the library, purposely in the way for the next person to come out.

She waited, peeking around the corner again to see Kurt turn away from Rouge and head toward the door.

She dodged back so he wouldn’t be able to see her and move out of the way, her eyes trained at the bottom corner of the large doorway for the first movement towards her.

His foot appeared, followed by his tail flicking past him, then back behind him.

Angeline stepped into his way, her body jumping in what was supposed to be fake surprise, but turned into a jolt of desire and warmth spearing through her body as her eyes made their way up to his, wide and tender, she had intended to do it to try to be as appealing as possible, but it was real, now, caused by the burning ache for him that sprang up in her chest.

Her lips parted, but all of the words, English and French, left her mind as she stared into Kurt’s warm, golden eyes. Her heart was throbbing as silence echoed in her mind, every thought chased off by him actually meeting her eyes.

His gaze held hers, and time seemed to stop flowing around her, then, suddenly, he spoke. “Excuse me,” he said quietly, then turned and walked around her into the hall.

Angeline turned, watching him go, and her heart ached to go with him. Her jaw snapped shut and she looked to the floor as she felt the longing in her chest grow. “*I should have chosen a smaller doorway,*” she murmured.

Kurt tried to rein in his sore heart.

It wanted to go back to Angeline, kiss those soft looking lips as it had looked like she wanted him to do when they parted and she stared into his eyes.

It was the first time she’d ever looked at him, though, and, of course, she didn’t actually want him to kiss her, or touch her at all, most likely.

... ... ...

Kurt turned the corner and nearly ran into Angeline, making her wings fly out in surprise, blocking the whole hall.

Her big, beautiful blue eyes looked up at him, tender and doe like.

Kurt felt his heart racing as his gaze was trapped in hers.

He needed to do something, something to break the trance they were both in, his longing, hers surprise.

His eyes flicked away from hers enough to see that her chest was moving a little quickly with her breathing, probably from the fright he’d accidentally given her just now.

He’d love to say he was sorry.

He’d love to ask her out on a date.

He’d love to do anything but just stand there!

She licked her lip and his eyes moved to her tongue. He could imagine her doing that slight, nervous movement right before he kissed her, then their lips would meet and her tongue would meet his-

No, this is not what he should be doing.

He would love to wrap his arms around her in a hug and give her a kiss, then put her hand through his arm and lead her away, escort her to wherever she was going- to wherever their shared destination was.

Maybe to lunch, or a movie…

Maybe to both, or just a nice quiet place they could be alone and spend time together…

He would love to do any of that, and yet, here he stood like an idiot. He was sure he seemed like an idiot. She would probably smile at him and pat him on the shoulder like he was a dimwit if she wasn’t stunned.

He could kiss her out of her stunned reverie, just lean down and take her jaw in his hand-

No! This is NOT what he should be doing!

Kurt smiled, watching her wings as they closed behind her.

She took a breath, and her lips started to part.

As much as Kurt would love to hear her lovely French accented tones, especially if she were to say his name, he couldn’t stand the thought of her speaking to him as though she didn’t know him, because, of course, she didn’t.

There were enough people around the mansion that they weren’t running into each other every few hours, about every couple days or so in reality, and they had no reason to interact, so they’d never even formally met, and she didn’t hang out with anyone that he saw regularly, though she did occasionally spend time with Logan, but it wasn’t like Logan to be extremely social.

Kurt stepped back, ducking his head as he bowed to her. “Excuse me, m’lady,” he murmured and stepped around her to continue on his way and let her continue on hers.

She turned as she watched him leave, her eyes following him and her lips still parted.

She was probably wondering what he was talking about; English was her second language as well, he’d never seen her reading a play, or any book, really, though he had seen her in the library, and no one except strange and eccentric people used phrases like that anymore.

He must seem like the weirdest person in the whole mansion, and that was saying something.

Kurt sighed as the aching filled his heart again.

What he wouldn’t give for the courage to speak to her properly, or to hold her in his arms, or, making any kind of move toward her.

He wanted her, badly.

He wanted her in his life properly, badly.

... ... ...

After speaking to Professor Xavier about trying to find ways that she could help out around the mansion, and explaining that she really had no skills, he suggested that she start training with the X-Men. She saw it as a way not only to be helpful to the mansion, but be a good person in general and save others.

That was something that she had felt good about doing when she’d first gotten her powers, before she’d had to become the protective, murdering monster, and she hoped to reclaim that happiness; being able to save people without having to maybe kill others.

She had happily agreed and he had set up a training.

When she got there, she saw Jean, Scott, Logan, Ororo, Kitty, and Kurt already there for the training, and her heart fluttered in her chest.

There was Kurt, he was so near- maybe he’d actually talk to her!

After the training session, she tried to get his attention, but he went right up to Kitty, not seeming to notice her.

She knew that Kitty was just his friend, so she didn’t let that get to her. She followed them towards the locker rooms, hanging back, wanting to talk to Kurt alone, but they stopped outside of the doors talking for a moment before they went to the separate locker rooms, and Angeline paused, not sure how to wait not so obviously.

She glanced back and forth between them, and her slight anxiety seemed to fill the hall and get their attention.

Kitty looked over at her, then saw that she was blocking the door. “Oh, sorry,” she said as she stepped out of the way.

Angeline’s face reddened and she rushed into the women’s locker room. “Excuse me,” she mumbled.

So far, any attempts she made to talk to him had all ended similarly.

It was stressing her out and making her unable to talk to him. So she decided to stop pushing herself that way, going back to just trying to get his attention, but he seemed to be actually ignoring her whenever she got close, leaving the room or becoming engrossed in whatever he was doing to the point of distraction.

... ... ...

Angeline stood on top of a step ladder, reaching up to change a light bulb in the library, seeming to dare Kurt to look under her skirt.

He shifted around uncomfortably in the chair he was sitting in. He was quite warm, and couldn’t concentrate on anything, but didn’t want to be rude to her by getting up and leaving just because she was near him.

His body was having trouble not reacting, and his mind had already gone over plans to grab her and teleport them to his room three times- four, now…

She was just so innocent and pure; she probably didn’t even realize that he could see up her skirt if he leaned over- which he wouldn’t do, he tried to remind his body before it went off on its own and decided to do things.

Angeline stretched up, putting the bulb in the socket and twisting with the tips of her fingers for the third time, her wings going out to steady her as she moved.

She was just fiddling around with it; it was in and had been, but she still hadn’t gotten Kurt’s attention, which was her true goal.

What did she have to do, land on him?

Actually, that wasn’t a bad idea…

She glanced down and checked angle and proximity, then put her foot on the handle/ leg guard, giving it a second before she purposely stepped on it and knocked the short stairs to the side enough to be believable that she’d fallen off, even though they straightened back up once she was off, and flared her wings, landing nearly on Kurt’s lap.

One knee was on the arm rest of the chair, one hand on the back of it, the other hand on his shoulder, and her other foot touching the ground on the other side of his legs.

Their eyes met, and Angeline turned her chin down, letting her eyes drift up to meet his again, tenderly, but they didn’t, because he’d looked down.

Her chin turned back up, and her eyes gently roved over Kurt’s cheeks and jaw, trying to make eye contact, her brow becoming slightly furrowed as she chased his avoiding eyes.

Kurt tried to look anywhere but Angeline’s face or body, sure that if he actually processed how close she was and just how she was positioned over him, his mind would win, running wild with fantasies, and grab her, teleporting her away to do things no gentleman would talk about.

He just had to wait until she stood up, then he would be safe from those thoughts…

Why wasn’t she getting off of him?

Fearfully, his eyes snuck up to hers.

Kurt’s eyes finally met hers, and Angeline gave a tiny, slightly sultry turn of her lips. “Sorry,” she nearly whispered, letting her lips stay slightly parted as she had been taught was enticing.

Hopefully he’d say something back, or maybe just kiss her…

That would be ok, too…

But, instead, she blinked slowly, letting her long lashes linger on her smooth, soft cheeks, and felt her hand hit the back of the chair as he teleported away.

Angeline turned and plopped into the chair, closing her eyes against the pain in her chest.

She was afraid to analyze the look that had been in his eyes, too afraid that it would be disgust.

... ... ...

Angeline stepped into the danger room, looking around at the group that was there, excited to see that it looked like Kurt was going to be a constant in her training.

Especially if she could look at him in that uniform. The way it hugged him and seemed to highlight his muscles…

She had to shake her head to clear it of those thoughts, thinking that they seemed very shallow…

She was happy to see him, however.

He walked closer to her and she bumped him with her wing. “Oh, sorry,” she told him, blushing so lightly it looked like nothing more than a rosy glow.

He smiled to her. “No problem. Oh, I think I forgot to say welcome to the danger room last time, so, willkommen, Fräulein.”

Angeline felt her heart beating against her ribs at his beautiful voice, his accented words slipping over his lips to her. “Merci,” she murmured, trying to keep her blood running through her body, and not flooding her face.

They fought the robots that stayed in the danger room on a medium setting, and Angeline was holding her own, as much as she could, with the others watching her back like she was a child, which, though she was grateful, was a little irritating. She was capable of doing things for herself; she'd stopped a serial killer from murdering her after he'd drugged her, for God's sake!

The fight moved to a different section of the room and Angeline was left with one or two of the robots mostly on her own, but not too far from the others. Kurt was teleporting around, mostly on his own as well, and of course, Logan was in the middle of the largest mass of the robots with the others around him, taking out the ones on the outside.

Angeline was at a disadvantage; she was a fierce striker, but she was so light that her fierce punches and kicks didn’t pack much of anything in them. It was what made it easier for her to fly, but she wasn’t much in a hand to hand fight without using her tail to crush things, or her wings to drop them.

She had taken a piece of rebar from the simulated rubble, and was swinging it with her full body force, turning and using it with her tail like a flail, and managed to knock the one robot out and a few feet away, but these guys were heavy, and she maybe had one more of those moves in her before she was relying on her healing to keep her in the game.

She jumped straight up and gave a pull of her wings, turning into a spiral and confusing one of the two remaining robots near her into using his laser on the other, causing it to read as a critical hit and shut down.

Angeline ducked out of the way of one robot’s laser, falling backwards, but catching herself and managing to land.

Kurt teleported, his foot crashing into the side of a robot and sending it tumbling to the floor. He looked over to check on his love- Angeline, to check on Angeline, and saw that she had just landed in the path of a Robot’s blast. He instantly leaped toward her and teleported, crashing into her side and tumbling over and over due to his momentum.

Angeline was struck in the side, and suddenly was tumbling across the ground with whatever had crashed into her. They rolled until the carrying momentum died and she was on her back in the rubble, one wing pinned under her, the other out to her side.

She shook her head and blinked, blowing the dust from the rubble out of her face, looking up to see Kurt’s eyes looking down at her. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart raced in her chest. His face was so close to hers. His lips- they were so close to hers. He was basically on top of her, crouched over her and not actually laying, but all the same, she could smell his scent, hot and mixed with the sweat from the workout, and his breath brushed against her cheek.

Kurt looked down into the large blue eyes staring up at him, so clear and innocent, needing him to hold their owner close, kiss her, love her- No, he couldn’t do that, not with what they were doing now, which was-

Angeline’s lips parted and her eyes seemed to grow larger- she must want him to kiss her…

Kurt could hear his heart pounding in his ears, his breath was rushing through his parted lips.

Both of their lips were parted- that meant that they should kiss, didn’t it?

A noise close by startled Angeline, and she broke eye contact to look over at what had caused the noise.

Her eyes widened in worry, and her free wing came around them as she grabbed the front of his suit and rolled onto her side so that her wing blocked whatever it was that was headed at them, then she rolled forcefully to the other side, gathering the muscles in her wing and flinging it open under her as she moved to propel them in the opposite direction.

She was gracelessly tossed into the air by the force she exerted, and managed to both hold on to Kurt for a split second, and somehow drop him just so, so that he could land effortlessly on his feet before turning enough that she hit a nearby obstacle foot first and leaped back away from it sideways, straightening out her wings and giving them powerful strokes to gain safe altitude and make her way toward the others.

Kurt’s eyes trailed her before he shook his head and reminded himself that they were in the middle of a training battle in the danger room.

Not the place to kiss anyone, at least, not while it was running a simulation.

Tag List!

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grizzlefur · 8 years ago

Text

WWEm - Don't Need Knees When You Can Weaponise Your Butt

Transmission date: Monday 3/Tuesday 4 April 2017.

Actually back on time after the thing that was Wrestlemania, this is TUESDAY AFTERNOON RAW! .

so yeah, if you haven't seen mania, maybe do that first, i'll be dropping fairly massive spoilers throughout .

short version: takeover was balls-out brilliant, mania was seven fucking hours long but fun, except when it wasn't .

we open with a moody slideshow of roman/taker, set to god's gonna cut you down .

the changing of the big dog is still the worst title to give anything .

but yes .

an era has ended .

you can argue his merits, and he probably should have gone sooner, but the .

man was a legend and we are unlikely to see his like .

cut to the arena, taker chants still going strong .

the actual show'll start at some point, but for now it's just crowd shots .

wow, this is the most unified crowd i've seen in...possibly ever? .

still going .

for context, although it does include the slideshow, we're now 5 minutes into the episode .

the crowd have branched out into duelling chants of undertaker/roman sucks .

so guess whose music drops .

(it's not taker) .

more boos than donut ghost house .

cole comments on the possible retirement of taker, but it still isn't canonically official yet .

stretching this intro out, letting the audience bask in his douchiness .

crowd branch out into delete chants .

we'll be hearing lots of those .

and a surprisingly unified fuck you roman chant .

nice one, orlando .

he is luxuriating in his smug toolness like a basking shark with a popped collar .

and now it's you suck .

this crowd have a repertoire .

microphone approaches his mouth, booing intensifies .

we're now on to 'asshole' .

every time he goes to speak, the booing comes back and he stops .

this could take a while .

we're back to roman sucks, but to the new day rhythm .

take 4, gave up on speaking again .

we're back to delete for the third time .

take 5, given up .

crowd are now chanting shut the fuck up .

fair .

he should just leave now .

take 6, now he's starting to be amused .

it's now 'go away' to the new day rhythm .

take 7 .

and finally he says words .

this is my yard now, drops mic, leaves .

that was some exquisite culturing of heel heat .

finally we have the proper heel turn .

announce team pre-emptively do the bit about how this is the crazy crowd who could do anything .

but now we have an actual match .

tag title rematch, hardyz/club .

will be interesting to see what they do with them character-wise now .

really hope they're still broken .

i mean, they arguably own the gimmick, so we shall see .

sure, let's have an advert for mania 34 .

who doesn't love pathologically advanced planning .

ooh, but if that's the theme music, i can support it .

kind of jazz-funk .

cos it's nawlins .

speaking of music, FUCK OFF WITH THE PITBULL .

as expected, it's over the random interstitial mania slideshows .

sigh .

we have a german announce table here .

with a man who isn't carsten schaefer .

who the fuck are you, holger boschen .

jojo does a massive intro for the hardyz .

it's almost like this is a big thing .

so yeah, how hard are gallows and anderson about to get dilapidated? .

byron does a comment about how they don't look like they haven't been wrestling for 9 years .

well yeah, because they have been .

there are other promotions than these .

and they've been in most of them .

it's actually a fairly even match atm .

matt is having seven deities beaten out of him .

the crowd chants have a fairly extensive repertoire of deletion references .

matt dodges a senton from gallows, dramatic hot tag to brother nero .

does a leg drop to gallows' dick, somehow this is fine .

because if you were around during attitude, you can still use the same rules .

it's a weird grandfather thing .

poetry in motion to gallows on the barricade .

but then anderson counters, and jeff eats a boot of doom .

(still a dumb name) .

they go for a magic killer, matt pulls anderson out, jeff twist of fates gallows, tags, matt does it too, tags again, swanton bomb for the pin .

classic finish right there .

apparently the hardyz will be on raw talk after this .

that might actually be worth watching .

oh good, tonight we have universal champion uncooked pork man .

but also rollins/jericho v joe/kevin .

because why not .

remember when the whole thing was that seth was going to fight at mania, but then be fucked up and back in rehab? .

good continuity, guys .

slideshow of seth/hunter .

which was good .

will be interesting to see what happens with steph .

but now, we have neville apparently? .

such segues as dreams are made on .

slideshow of neville/aries, sponsored by wwe champions .

live by the thumb to the eye, die by the thumb to the eye .

pretty sure that's lesson #10 .

neville is talking, so i'm happy .

proclaiming his ongoing dominion .

apparently he's celebrating on 205 tomorrow .

neville shouts more, hit mustafa's music .

this is a feud i would be interested in .

mustafa needs more push .

mustafa goes for the handshake, neville punches him in the chest .

forgive him, he's from newcastle .

that's how they show respect .

ali deploying his usual tactic of 'flip until they die' .

lovely rounding moonsault off the apron .

but then neville throws him eight feet in the air and walks off .

ouch .

tries it again, mustafa dropkicks him in the face .

sound response .

rolling neckbreaker, i am unduly impressed .

as usual .

are the crowd seriously doing a we want taker chant? .

it's not gonna happen, and especially not in this segment .

neville suplexes mustafa sideways, because people don't need shoulders .

and then lariats him to death .

well, i guess he won't need shoulders if he's dead .

oh, ffs .

beach ball in the crowd, they're just chanting for that .

pay attention, orlando .

weirdly, cole actually talks about it .

exquisite top rop springboard spanish fly from ali .

very much one of those moves that looks like it'd kill you both .

perfect frankensteiner into a satellite ddt, neville scrapes a rope break .

ali goes for the inverted 450, neville rolls out .

teases the red arrow, then gets down like fuck you, florida, and rings of saturn for the tap .

but, now, in a car park .

a limo .

oh, it's shitting vince .

why have the gods forsaken us .

apparently he'll be talking next .

well, at least we're getting it over with .

mania slideshow, featuring randy orton's ginormosperm .

and so much pitbull .

but now we have vince .

which is worse? .

complete with the insistent floppy swagger of a boneless chicken being puppeteered by a wizard .

the crowd love him, for some reason .

but not as much as they love this roman sucks chants .

sound guys frantically levelling vince's mic up .

vince is thanking the fans .

is it raining blood .

are these the end times .

apparently we're not lethargic around here .

weird phrasing .

how many deities are you possessed by .

apparently next week we're having a shakeup of some kind .

i'm guessing a redraft? .

but he also has to talk about an incident .

a steph-through-a-table-shaped incident .

vince is heartbroken .

which suggests one good thing, at least .

says steph'll be out for a while after being broken in half, crowd erupt in cheers .

vince like ok fuck you guys .

so they do delete chants instead .

apparently it's time to name a new gm .

who was just inducted into the hall of fame .

teddy long runs out, vince is like guys cut the music teddy have you forgotten your meds kindly fuck off it's not you

teddy is crestfallen playa .

gets one last holla in, dances backstage .

vince announces our new gm, deafening silence .

and then he says it's kurt angle, and the music finally hits .

can't really argue with this, he's over as fuck right now .

70,000 fans lovingly chanting you suck .

(last night, that is) .

(the amway is not that big) .

and then vince does us all a favour, hands the mic to kurt and fucks off .

cheers and welcome back chants ring out .

kurt thinks it's great to be back .

(it's damn great) .

and now he's leaving too .

will be interested to see how they play that .

cos they've got to keep him face, or there will be blood .

cole does a bit thanking the city of orlando for letting the wrestling industry fuck with it for the best part of a fortnight .

and now a slideshow of the chrevin showdown .

and the a+ one-finger rope break .

but now, here are the new day .

in far more non-existent cosplay .

wait, scratch that .

xavier and kofi are in palette-swapped legion of doom gear, and big e has a giant bootyos box with a streamer cannon in as a backpack .

i adore these glorious fools .

and they all have ice cream-themed gear .

e starts making a speech about his dick, the others step in .

xavier takes issue with kofi saying 'you people', everyone is mildly confused .

the new day are sad they couldn't fight at mania .

so tonight they're issuing an open challenge .

please make it the hardyz again .

WHAT .

it is .

in fact .

the revival .

corey is freaking out .

and to be honest, so am i .

i did not expect this .

the raw tag division has just received a massive quality bump .

new day are fielding woods and e .

the orlando crowd are getting behind saying YEAH .

lovely blind tag to sto from dawson there .

the revival continue to have the most perfectly fluid tag manoeuvres .

we can only hope they're not headed straight to the undercard like so many nxt promotions .

cole makes a reference to dash being known as a mechanic .

nice callback to those of us who've been watching nxt for years there .

e finally tags in, suplexes dawson into a different time zone and clotheslines dash over the top rope .

goes for it on dawson, dash pulls the ropes away so he can stack it outside .

dawson and woods trade elbows for a while .

and then he goes for an honor roll, which the revival counter into a shatter machine for a delicious finish

and then they get kofi in so they can fuck on him too .

they do the ankle trap leg drop spot .

still heels, then .

(good) .

cut to kurt's new office made of curtains, which he's trying to decorate with his medals .

and here are enzo and cass .

enzo does his intro as an actual introduction .

which kurt plays wonderfully straight .

giving the impression that he hasn't watched the show he's now running .

enzo is not doin well .

they're pissed that they aren't tag champs .

and just like why were the hardyz even in the match .

and why is goofy a human but pluto is a dog .

kurt's like i have no fucking clue what you're saying or what is up with you people .

but he will make a contender match between them and the kickass kilt bros .

cass spells it out, they leave .

kurt is left like hey wait a minute that's not how you spell soft .

but now we have a bayley .

and one of the bayley buddies has apparently decided to extend parallel to the ground .

there's a souvenir for a lucky fan .

but now we have a big 6-woman tag match .

bayley, sasha and dana, who i forgot was a face now, versus... .

sasha still has her outstanding jacket from mania, btw .

EMMA .

FUCKING YES .

poses on the announce table, drops her weird mantle on byron .

i am so pumped .

i have missed this music .

also this woman .

you may have noticed .

teaming with nia, and presumably charlotte .

but fuck that shit, it's emma .

if the heel team don't win this, i will be eeeeeeeever so slightly enraged .

charlotte still has her crazy peacock robe .

which i actually kind of love .

charlotte and dana face off until emma tags herself in .

charlotte not entirely impressed .

emma beats dana up, then leaves her alone and instructs her to tag bayley .

she complies .

emma pulls some lovely chain wrestling out, does her best to dislocate bayley's shoulder .

bayley responds with a slip'n'slide, which still looks silly as fuck .

ad break, and now nia's in with bayley .

gets bayley in a tree of woe, emma tags in, then leaves the rings and pulls bayley's hair across the ring post .

i'd mock, but...ow .

charlotte goes for bayley, she back body drops her straight from the ring to the floor .

ouch .

tags sasha .

enters the ring with a double knee drop, which is really the only way to enter a room .

hits several more kinds of knee on charlotte, nearfall broken by emma .

leading into the bit where everyone does their spots on everyone else .

ending with sasha countering natural selection into a bank statement for the tap .

well, at least emma didn't go down .

awwww, this is super awkward .

bayley and sasha are still besties, dana's just like um i'm here too .

arguments begin among the heel team, emma wisely slinks off while nia beats the crap out of charlotte

finishes her off with a massive leg drop, crowd are unsure how to react .

but now, kurt's office .

with sami, who wants to be as close to kurt as he was to his predecessor .

kurt praises sami for having the three i's .

sami fanboys all over him, kurt's like wonderful now please leave you weirdo .

jinder bursts in and rants about how he should have won the andre battle royal .

sami argues with him, kurt reasserts his dominance and puts the two of them in a match .

primarily to make them go away .

up next, pasty dumbhat o'dickchest .

but first, more slideshows and pitbull .

siiiiigh .

please stop it with the pitbull already .

smackdown's gonna be like that too, isn't it .

sure, let's talk about the attendance record again .

please be impressed by this number we pulled out of our collective ass .

but yes, now we have a baby prematurely aged in a vat .

and his manager .

sigh .

just look at his hair .

that should tell you what a twat he is, even if you ignore the other 99% of him .

paul is happy he gets to do his champion spiel again .

apparently he's going to share the bedtime story him and brock tell their respective childrn .

(they have no shared children) .

(that i know of) .

it's about...dill...boldberg? .

okay, no, he actually namechecks him in it .

it's also about how much paul hates traditional values and being a good person .

it would have worked better if paul could avoid fucking up the phrase 'happily ever after' .

announces that goldberg won't be back, surprisingly large yes and thank you brock chants .

but now brock wants new people to fight .

the crowd are agreeing with my proposal .

but we shall see .

paul proposes various possibilities .

like .

seth .

or either or both hardyz .

paul says brock will disrupt the status quo .

and mentions the 2 in 23-2 .

which means we are having the feud i was fearing .

so i'll be able to turn raw off half an hour early, anyway .

sigh .

such possibility .

all squandered .

crowd don't give a shit, we want bálor chants resound .

paul ignores them entirely .

the crowd are enormously pissed .

apparently brock lesnar is animal cruelty .

the fuck, paul? .

so yes, paul wants lesnar/reigns tonight, .

buBRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH .

...ok, that's not where i saw this going .

still not super thrilled, but better than roman .

braun has got quite the ponytail now .

braun wants brock's attention .

implies he'll get it by dismembering roman .

i can get behind this .

looooooong staredown .

bálor chants continue .

brock puts the belt on the ground, stands back like come at me braun .

enormous braun chants .

until he backs off .

bullshit chants unite the arena .

i kind of agree? .

it'd be cool if this could not be entirely setup .

but now, charly interviews chris .

apparently he's got a title rematch at fastlane .

he does a whole bit about the crowd, references the beachball .

don't encourage them .

apparently the crowd are all the friens of jericho .

and from the noise, i would be inclined to agree .

so apparently chris's revenge starts tonight .

it starts with him taking revenge on the tip of kevin's finger .

yakuza jericho .

i have no clue what's up with chris .

he should talk to matt hardy .

the tip of kevin's finger has just made the list .

sure, why not .

wrestling is strange, yo .

kevin responds to this slight upon the honor of his finger by erupting from nowhere to fuck chris up in the tech room .

and joe appears to help .

smack him into everything, then put him through a table before a random ref pulls them off him .

ad break, cut to kurt coming out of the trainer's room with a face like thunder .

seth collars him .

apparently chris is irrevocably fucked for tonight, but kurt promises to find him a partner .

hmmmmmmmm .

but now we have the tag contender match .

enzo and cass start off in the ring (good sign) .

and cesaro and sheamus have kept the kilt suits .

fucking YES .

this pleases me greatly

and they've sychronised their tearing .

enzo, by contrast, is wearing pinstriped dungarees .

apparently it's orlando magic kit, but it still looks fucking ridiculous .

crowd are entusiastically chanting something, but i have no idea what .

excitingly, it was a new tune .

sheamus looks beaten to shit already .

problem with being pasty as fuck and doing a ladder match with the hardyz, the marks stay for a long time .

whatever the new chant is, i think it's sheamus and cesaro .

good to see they're over .

good match here, despite enzo's best efforts .

sheamus and cass end up outside, enzo takes an uppercut into a swing to a sharpshooter .

cass kicks cesaro in the face to break it .

i kind of love how cesaro still does the sharpshooter .

he's loyal to his peeps .

cass hits cesaro with the sidewalk slam and empire elbow, winds up for the boomshakalaka, sheamus punches him the fuck out of the ring and throws enzo into an uppercut for the pin .

this is a good day .

this episode of raw is making me a happy shitposter .

sheamus and cesaro adorably dance to cesaro's music as we go to ads .

including another mania 34 ad .

the music is like gary clark jr or someone .

but sure, cut from that to yet more pitbull .

by which i mean yet more of the same fucking bit of pitbull .

which they hard cut to taker's music as they get to the end .

and a slideshow of #thankyoutaker tweets .

but now, jinder/sami .

after a helpful recap of why jinder is pissed .

why is jinder so much more tan since mania .

it's weird .

and i can't think of non-racist reasons they'd do that .

jinder punches sami off the apron during his intro .

and then just commences to beaing him up at ringside .

match has not yet started .

jinder throws sami into the ring, intimidates overly-expressive ref into starting the match, and resumes beating .

they've made the mandala on jinder's trunks even bigger, which somehow makes it less anus-reminiscent .

so gj there, i guess .

jinder goes for his punch-you-in-the-face-in-punjabi spot, sami counters into an exploder and helluva kick for the pin .

the end .

and up next, our main event .

joe and kevin versus seth and SOMEBODY .

we won't say who .

but we will put an advert up for next week's superstar shakeup, showing the rosters of both sides .

including a very noticeable absent irishman in one corner .

hmmmm .

what could that mean .

oh yeah, that wwe's editing staff are a crew of ineffectual marmosets .

you fucking idiots .

just had to skip back and pause it to check, but no other major spoilers .

some weird choices, like including neville, austin and alicia fox but none of the rest of the cruiserweight division

and acknowledging sin cara .

damn, but wwe are good at spoiling their surprises five minutes beforehand .

apparently bayley and (sigh) goldberg will also be on raw talk .

and 205 will have a contendership match of austin/tjp/gallagher/ali .

i think we know which corner i'm in .

but yes, now we have the SUPER SPECIAL SURPRISE match .

apparently kevin wants to be announced as 'the face of america' .

sure, why not .

seth's music hits, i manage to avoid flinging my glasses across the room this time .

he's still got the knee brace on, but even so .

no way in canon he should be walking .

his music cuts, and we wait for his mystery partner .

who could it be .

hmmmmmm .

lights go down .

music hits .

and oh my god would you look at that it's finn bálor whoever could have seen that coming .

new leather jacket, not quite as mice .

still pretty nice .

still contains finn .

*does the arms for the first time in like a year* .

forget the crowd, this is a fucking great episode .

slow zoom on finn's smouldering intensity .

welp, guess i'm pregnant now

seth superkicks kevin with his right leg, all suspension of disbelief about his knee injury disappears

cole points out that all four of these are ex-nxt champions .

which is a cool thing i didn't notice .

kevin and joe unload on seth for a bit, he drops kevin's face into a turnbuckle and tags in finn .

that cut over kevin's eye from last night has not really healed .

kevin runs out of the ring, finn chases him down and dropkicks him into the barricade .

god, i've missed you .

seth does a lovely suicide dive, only really marred by the fact that it didn't really hit kevin at all .

then a tope con giro on kevin and joe, with much the same problem .

work on your aim, dude .

kevin beats on seth for a bit, gets him in a positively masterful headlock .

joe tags in, starts kicking seth's bad knee and doing a bunch of holds on it .

the man knows several thousand moves .

dramatic almost-hot tag before joe drops seth on his bad knee .

takes two sentons, dodges a third .

goes for a hot tag, joe tries the coquina clutch, seth counters into an enzuigiri, double tag .

crowd do a mexican wave, cole talks about it .

i'm not sure how to address this bold new direction .

finn shamelessly tosses kevin around, kicks him off the turnbuckle, kicks joe to death at ringside .

sling blades kevin and i have a moment .

goes for the corner dropkick, joe blindsides him into a coquina clutch, so seth fucking dropkicks him off him .

and corner dropkick into coup de grace for the win .

outshittingstanding .

i take it back, replays have shown that seth took joe out with a springboard knee drop .

the signature tactic of a man with a bad knee .

seth and finn have a brief moment of tension, then seth raises his hand .

babyface reconciliation confirmed .

and...now we're at the bit where i would ordinarily roll straight on to smackdown .

but i appear to be...caught...up? .

what is this alien concept .

fuck it, imma watch raw talk .

i'll leave this bespoke horizontal line here, and daniel can beep me when i'm .

behind like i should be again .

------------------------------------ .

(memo to daniel: next time you need to send a message, consider using a more efficient method than carrier chicken)

(smackdown was three days ago now, i have no idea how many chickens are roaming our offices, and you're just in the NEXT SODDING ROOM) .

(anyway) .

Perfectly on schedule and not later than it should be for any reason, this is (intones to the tune of seven nation army) FRIIIIIDAY AF. TER. NOON. SMAAAAAAAACKDOWN .

aka mania go-home show 2.0 .

it's quite cool that we get two of these now .

and wonder of wonders, we open to a mania recap package featuring no pitbull whatsoever .

but with a super emotional section on the proposal .

and a bit reminding me that randy's champion now .

boooooo .

and we're in the arena .

orlando again, for the last time .

(for now) .

jbl gets in immediately with the thing about this being the crazy crowd .

apparently later tonight we have naomi/bliss for the title, ambrose/corbin street fight, and miz calling out cena .

but here's randy instead .

the crowd are split about this .

jbl's referring to bray's satan magic as "antics" .

makes it seem a bit more whimsical than it is .

well this entrance is unnecessarily drawn out .

wow, music goes down and you can hear how impressed the crowd is not .

he is getting booed to shit out here .

apparently the last part of randy's 'if you can't beat them...' credo is when you fight them at mania, "make damn sure well" you kill them .

this is beginning to seem overly specific .

randy declares himself the master of bray, wyatt cut .

bray on the tron to talk smack .

he has a rematch coming .

(presumably at payback) .

but before that he wants a special kind of match that will fuck with randy's mind .

votes for bra and panties? .

apparently one of them will be sentenced to eternal damnation tonight .

which would seem a little pointless for the guy who's already possessed by satan's dead sister .

challenges randy to a house of horrors match .

whatever the fuck that is .

randy accepts, wyatt cut, bray teleports into the ring .

commence to scuffling .

until randy gets coldcocked by erick motherfucking rowan .

in a freaky-ass sheep gas mask .

they both beat on randy, in comes harper to get involved .

harper should have a new finisher .

he should do a bronco buster and call it 'extreme closeups of wood' .

(god, i suck) .

randy and luke chase bray and rowan out, cut to renee with miz and maryse backstage .

they still have their awesome mania coats .

\o/ .

miz and maryse are taking credit for making cena have to propose to save face .

apparently this'll be the last time we see cena and nikki on smackdown for a long time .

which he's implying is because of the shakeup, but we all know they're just having time off .

and more power to them, really .

advert for mania 34, and i can't complain because this music is great .

it will be a good year listening to that .

and naturally, the moment i say that, we get a mania slideshow with SHITTING PITBULL .

fuck off, you insufferable douchewagon .

shocking announcement of tonight's main event .

orton/harper v bray/rowan .

who could have seen this coming .

but fuck that shit, here comes naomi .

with her belt back, as it should be .

drops her glow shades getting in the ring, which is unfortunate .

she just looks so stoked .

huh, would have thought she'd get a mic spot .

apparently not .

alexa's kept her mania entrance jacket as well .

jacket game sustained .

i love how greg's still pausing so the crowd can say one fall .

we love you too, greg .

no talking, straight into the match .

i guess we've got a lot to fit in tonight .

the crowd are super enthused for this match .

way more than wyatt/orton .

which is as it should it be, tbh .

apparently the angle we're working in this is alexa reshittening naomi's knee .

the crowd have started chanting for a whole bunch of things, and i can catch almost none of them .

naomi is avoiding using her leg, so is instead just punching alexa in the face a lot .

seems solid .

spinkick standing on her bad leg, nearfall .

because that's what happens when you have a bad leg .

naomi takes my criticism, hits her with her butt instead .

don't need knees when you can weaponise your butt .

goes for a split moonsault, alexa counters, naomi reverses into that weird new submission for the tap .

i do like that as a new finisher .

loads of people seem to have transitioned into using submissions of late .

end segment, still no talking .

instead, we get a graphic about dean/baron .

and an ad for the new season of divas .

advert break, cut back and curt hawkins is here for some reason .

talking about the shakeup .

apparently he disapproves of topics of conversation that aren't curt hawkins .

issues an open challenge, doesn't get through the sentence befor tye enters .

sorry, curt .

gon get wrecked .

side note: still no mauro .

this is sad news .

match starts, tye starts tenning all over curt .

so yes, tye is surprise nxt callup #1 .

which is kind of a shame, cos i was enjoying dillinger/young .

but i guess this give sanity room to stomp that particular yard and take all the belts .

so yeah, this is just an exhibition for tye to show off his stuff to people who might theoretically not watch nxt .

three minutes, tye breaker, done .

the crowd love him so much .

and he looks proper happy to be here .

which is nice .

end segment .

have some more adverts .

and another mania slideshow, from which we have excised all cuban rappers .

(or indeed hispanic-american) .

(internet tells me he's from miami) .

but now dasha is interviewing mojo about what it's like to have an ugly trophy that's taller than you are .

apparently it's great .

and mojo hasn't slept since mania .

that's like 48 hours at this point .

that seems unhealthy, mojo .

consider being less hype .

also, lose that horrible suit .

all navy blue, matching shirt, blue zebra print trimmings .

dasha is just like yeah sure whatever please go away crazy man .

but now have a segment to tell you that the shakeup is a thing .

footage from raw courtesy of our own website .

at least there's no spoilers in the graphic as far as i can tell .

later tonight we have shane addressing the shakeup .

and probably his own murder .

but next, miz and maryse hate people who are happy .

after this advert for wwe champions .

and a title card about mania's social media reach with MORE FUCKING PITBULL .

and here comes cena? .

that's not the way this was meant to go .

is it just miz using cena's music because tech guys like money? .

nope, it's cena .

oh wait, no .

it's miz and maryse as cena and nikki .

stupid wide shots .

miz is doing a pitch-perfect impression of cena's entrance .

shouting at the camera about towels and everything .

miz instructs the crowd not to say cena sucks .

which is the best way of leading chants .

this shtick is way better live than it was in the lynchian ngihtmare that was forbidden bellas .

the crowd love it .

miz announces cena and nikki's resignation .

something tells me this may not be legit .

but who can say .

he's very convincing .

cut to the other end of the arena, where SHINSUKE'S FUCKING VIOLINIST IS BACK .

this entrance was way to good to only do once .

fucking love it .

my two favourite people right here .

tag match .

miz/maryse v shinsuke/violin dude .

beat drops, i dance like an electrocuted octopus .

shinsuke's wearing a weird cross between his vinyl jacket and karate gi .

i quite like it .

but then, he can pull anything off .

the crowd is losing their collective shit .

and who can blame them .

shinsuke's too busy flirting with the audience to do his rope drop on time with the music, but who cares .

the entire crowd is unified in nakamura chants .

with the occasional holy shit thrown in .

and he is just working them for everything they've got .

meanwhile, miz and maryse seem to have disappeared? .

and shinsuke's music has stopped and then started again .

so i guess that segment's done? .

i guess we're meant to believe miz for the time being .

so is shinsuke here for anything in particular, or just to be awesome? .

i guess the latter .

because it's corbin/ambrose next .

after the new excessively long ad for the network .

and here we are .

enter everyone's favourite wolf who somehow manages to ride a motorbike and wear a beanie

(real talk: anyone who reads this, i need fan art of that) .

(or anything tbh) .

oh yeah, i managed to forget dean was ic champ .

the ic and us titles just mean so little these days .

they never seem to be the focus of an angle, they're just subordinated to people doing whatever feuds they would have anyway .

and straight into the fight .

nobody but miz gets mic time this week, i guess .

oh, and randy .

it's a good time to be a twat .

baron is somehow even pissier than usual .

maybe because he still hasn't got mic time, despite being the biggest twat ever to have twatted .

or whatever the past participle is .

twote? .

baron goes for a chair, so dean suicidas him over the announce table and then throws him at tom .

dude .

you couldn't have at least gone for jbl? .

and they spill into the crowd in short order .

ad break, and suddenly they're back in the ring and it's full of furniture .

baron slams dean through a table while also putting his own head through it .

they both die .

the end .

or not? .

oh my god, baron has a strap .

haven't seen those is a while .

what's the statute of limitations on yapapi strap match jokes? .

fuck it, imma make them anyway .

if jbl's going to sit there making savio vega references on commentary, i can do what the fuck i like .

baron wedges a chair in one corner, dean counters and bullfights him through it .

shocking backfire .

never rig anything up in or around the ring .

wait for other people to do so, then fuck on them with it .

dean gets a comeback (should we call it that?) and starts whipping baron with the strap .

then does an elbow drop from the top rope to ringside, because fuck you, foley .

landing just by a convenient table .

puts baron on it, does the elbow drop again .

dean looks in significantly more pain than baron atm .

the crowd seem to think this is awesome, but like 1/8 as awesome as shinsuke .

which is fair .

they head back into the ring, baron crotches dean on the ropes, end of days for the pin .

weird anticlimax there .

i guess this is the peril of trying to do big hardcore segments on a show with so little spare time .

both men lie there having a brief cardiac episode, end segment .

so now let's have austin to tell us to watch 205 .

wyatt cut, and apparently bray is here .

there appears to have been some confusion over whether this match was next or not, but apparently it was

so now it's here .

because next has become now, as the inexorable flow of time carries us down this world-river towards the inevitable rapids of death .

enter harper, wearing actual wrestling gear because you can be a backwoods serial killer, but if you're gonna be a babyface you need to look semi-respectable .

and an orton .

(to clarify, it's randy) .

(they haven't dragged cowboy bob out for this, thank god) .

randy does his whole entrance, bray and rowan just stay in the ring like yeah whatever you ain't shit .

match kicks off with rowan/randy, and randy's just like what is even this guy's deal .

a solid question .

cut away to an ad for divas, because fuck you .

by the time we get back, it's harper/wyatt .

luke harper does a rolling headbutt over the ropes and a suicide dive, because just because you're a 6'5" hillbilly murderer doesn't mean you can't also be mustafa ali .

follow your dreams, luke .

bray then takes the opportunity to fuck him up at ringside and feed him back to rowan in the ring .

otunga is like lol bray's got so weird since he absorbed the spirit of the devil's sister .

those wacky cultists .

the crowd are still periodically going wheeeeee .

they have been like all the way through the show .

and i have no idea what that's about .

rowan lies harper on the top rope, proceeds to start beating his abdomen into that reconstituted meat paste they make mcdonalds chicken nuggets out of

bray tags in, beats some more shit out of harper while he just kind of ineffectually sits there like god why hast thou forsaken me .

probably to do with the time you joined a devil cult, dude .

you've only been out of it like a month, you don't get a pass that easily .

randy hits his draping ddt, i still don't really get it .

randy strikes up the snake, wyatt cut into darkness .

wyatt cut back, bray is halfway up the ramp and rowan is behind randy .

so randy's like um ok whichever and rkos rowan .

gets the pin, the ref's like i have no clue who's legal but sure fuck it and gives the win .

bray writhes on the ramp laughing, nobody knows what's going on .

apart from presumably the scion of satan over there .

randy and luke pose on the top rope, and we end there .

so that bit where shane was going to come and talk about the shakeup? .

guess not .

weird .

so that was both the mania shows .

smackdown not as packed with cool stuff as raw, but they've got two thirds of the time and about as many angles to fit in, so the card's always a bit crowded around big events

join us next week, when we'll have a super special shakeup edition and transfer daniel to the manitoba offices .

(side note: the manitoba offices are actually just a wardrobe in the forest) .

(side note 2: we will not actually do this) .

(his uncle owns these offices) .

(if anyone moves, it'll be me) .

(oh no)

#Wrestling #WWE #WWE Raw #wwe smackdown

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