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missgarnet · 4 years ago

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Where We Stand

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word count:5.7k

Genre: angst with fluff

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of past miscarriage, blood and injury, Duchess Min and other characters from Stay, I swear there’s a happy ending

Summary by @minjoonalist: fluff, pain, almost pain, spain without the s' and fluff?

Link to ao3

Happy Birthday @sope-and-shine Belle, I love you! (also I’m sorry for not killing anyone off in this story, I just couldn’t)

I also want to say thank you to @minjoonalist and @sope-and-shine‘s Fae for reading through this to helping me edit and think of titles!

“How do I look darling?” you ask, slipping the thin dagger into the hidden slit in the corseted top of your dress.

The duke stepped closer to you and took in the reflection of the two of you together. You watched in the mirror as he swept your hair to the side and started to kiss you, his lips a gentle whisper against your neck. “You look… powerful. I’d have to be an imbecile to ignore that.”

“Is that it?”

You feel his lips forming a smirk against your skin, “Of course not, you’re stunning and you know it just as well as I do. How was I lucky enough to find a wife as brilliant and beautiful as you.” His hands find themselves at your waist, trailing back to play with the laces of your dress.

“Yoongi,” you laugh as you swat his hands away. “They just finished getting me all dressed up in this, I don’t want to call the maids back to retie this again.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already, you normally make them redo this until it’s as tight as you can get and both of you are exhausted.” He wraps you in his arms again and turns the two of you to face the mirror, “unless you’re…”

He can feel the sharp breath you take, realizing he’d figured it out. “Please, don’t get excited, it's too early for that. I don’t want to tell anyone else just yet.”

“Who else knows?”

“My maid, she thought it was weird when I asked her to find dresses with a higher waistline. She figured it out pretty soon, and I politely asked her not to say anything just yet.”

“Mmhmm, and what do you mean by politely asking this time.”

“I may have… accidentally… threatened to have her tongue removed if she so much as hinted to it”

“You never cease to amaze me, my love.”

A sharp knock on the door interrupted the few moments of alone time you had left. The two of you rushed to finish getting dressed for the day, this meaning countless weapons being discreetly tucked away in the many hidden pockets of your clothing. It was an important day, and you made it a rule to be prepared for anything and everything that could go wrong. Today you had one mission and no one was going to get in your way, not even the king himself.

Looking back you should have said no when she asked you to walk her down the aisle. Traditionally she should have had a family member to give her away, but tradition be damned, if your best friend and closest ally wanted you by her side then nothing was getting in your way.

By the time you got there the poor dear was already panicking as she paced the floor of her dressing room. “What if I mess up or trip and the entire court starts making fun of me”

“I’ll give them something else to talk about.” You said, instinctively reaching toward your favourite dagger. It’s jeweled angel wings sitting at the very top of your gown, giving the appearance of a simple broach when tucked into it’s spot atop your corset.

“Y/N, no weapons. How many times do we have to say this, stabbing people doesn’t solve problems. It only creates more.”

You scoffed at her reply, knowing fully well that it was the first thought you had. “First of all, I wasn’t going to stab anyone… this time. Second, there’s no rule against blackmail or accidently sharing information that would draw far more attention to others.”

“I don’t know how you did this. You didn’t even know Yoongi when the two of you got married, I’ve known Tae far longer and I’m still way too nervous for all of this.”

“Are you kidding me?” You laughed, “I was a wreck on my wedding day. Hell, I practically had to be dragged down the aisle and I would have clawed my way out if I could. I wanted nothing to do with it, then again that wasn’t really up to me. Even afterwards I was still too nervous to actually talk to him, it was much easier to argue and plot all the ways I could get rid of him.”

“You were planning to divorce him?”

“Oh Queenie, divorce was mild compared to what I had in mind.” You smiled at the memories of when you first moved in with your husband. The two of you had barely spent a minute alone, and were at each other's throats any time you were in the same room. He expected someone docile, sweet, and a little fearful of him the way that almost everyone else was. What he hadn’t expected was to be matched with a wife even more stubborn and intimidating than he was, you had become the first true rivalry he had ever experienced and it was thrilling.

It didn’t help him to find out that he had met the only person with a reputation worse than his own among the court, nor that you had found ways to win over his entire staff in a matter of days. Despite being incredibly talented and an excellent asset to have on his side, Yoongi seemed determined to prove that he was still the one in charge for those first few months. Everyday was a competition and the two of you had engaged in a seemingly endless battle of bickering and petty vengeance against one another. Your favourite of these occurred after he made it a point of removing you from a meeting with the generals. He should have known better than to mess with someone who was feared by the court and adored by both his family and his staff.

That next morning as the sun began to rise Yoongi was nearly blinded by the amount of light pouring into his chambers, waking up to the smell of burnt fabric and charred toast. You could hardly contain your laughter when one of the staff recalled being called into the sight of him slipping on his robe only to find that the right sleeve had been completely torn off. Tears ran down your face as you heard about him storming around the room looking for something to wear to meet you at the breakfast table only to find most of his clothes had been sent off to the tailor to be altered or repaired in some way and he had been left with an assortment of mismatched clothing and heavy winter suits. That morning neither of you felt willing to give each other the satisfaction of reacting to the other’s actions. Showing weakness was to show defeat, and neither of you planned on losing. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of just pride as you watched your husband shift in his seat clearly displeased with the current state he was in, almost laughing as he hobbled in missing his left shoe.

You had almost missed the defeated sigh he gave as he took his seat across from you. If he were like any other man you knew, he’d have given you the outburst of rage that you had been preparing yourself for. Instead he had a rather gentle gaze as he met your eyes from across the table and spoke in a soft almost admiring tone, “We can’t keep doing this. I mean seriously, destroying my curtains, burning my breakfast, and ridding me of my entire wardrobe in one morning. And why? I’ve done nothing to offend you.”

The servants quickly began backing out of the room in anticipation of another argument between the two of you. “Nothing? You really think you’ve nothing wrong?” The icy glare you were so determined to keep directed at him was the only thing holding tears of frustration at bay. But you refused to let him or anyone else see you crying. “Yoongi, you undermine me at every opportunity available, making sure that I have no say in what is going on around me. I have no family here, no friends, no allies on my side. Everything here is about you, while I am constantly pushed aside and belittled by even your guards and servants. I was one of the most brilliant women my age. I learned the arts of battle, bribery, and blackmail by the age of five, and perfected each of them by eleven. And the worst part is all of that is going to waste, I am wasting away and it is all your fault.”

“I’m sorry I had no clue. I just thought you’d want a break from having to fight all the time, I guess I should have noticed this was wrong when you seemed so determined to argue at every opportunity possible.

“You really are an idiot sometimes.”

He laughed at this, the two of you finally sharing a moment of understanding and bonding over as you later called it his very best moment of complete stupidity.

As you sat there recalling all of this your eyes began to water and you let out a quiet sniffle. The two of you had been through so much since then and with very limited exceptions you wouldn’t change a thing. You may not have had the best of beginnings with each other, but he’d done his best to make up for that every day that you’ve shared since then. The two of you still bickered, but it was more affectionate and caring now that you’d decided to save your fury to defend one another.

“Y/N are you crying?” your best friend placed her hand over yours in a comforting gesture.

“No, of course not.” You tried to dry your eyes, but the gesture was not as subtle as you had hoped. “Fine maybe a little. I think I’m just feeling sentimental, all this wedding stuff had me thinking about when Yoongi and I were newly married and the time we had our first good fight”

“You still haven’t told me what happened to the shoes, and everytime I tried to ask the staff they just got really quiet and seemed like they were too afraid to speak.”

“Well, I took all of his left shoes and I had one of my maids put a box outside his room. Then I took most of them and put them away in the box, and I sent the rest away to be burned.”

“You burned his shoes”

“Only the left ones, and only the pairs I didn’t like. Besides if I were to do that now there would have been a lot more of them being burned, I swear just the smell of that shoe polish is enough to make me sick nowadays. Then again there’s been a lot of things that do.”

“Are you, you know?” The young queen-to-be asked, doing her best to emphasize the implied meaning.

“Am I what,” you asked, a challenging tone in your voice. It was obvious she knew, but if she wanted to ask she would have to use her words.

She gives you a knowing smile and pulls you in for a hug, “Congratulations Y/N!”

“Oh, shut up” you laughed trying to hide how nervous you were feeling. Yes she was your best friend, but this pregnancy was news you didn’t want out to the public just yet. “Today is your day, I don’t want to take away from that.”

She rushes to the clock at this realizing the two of you were running horribly behind schedule. As you rush through the halls together, you do your best to pin her veil in place and keep the train of her dress from collecting dust and dirt from the floor. Both of you pause outside the closed doors grandly looming before you, your faces warm and nearly out of breath.

You begin the task of fixing her appearance one last time before everything starts changing again. She was always so small and quiet when you first met. You never thought such a timid young woman would come this far, but something about her just spoke of being so much more than just another commoner. And now here she was in the most delicate white gown with layers of chiffon carefully draped over each other and tiny sleeves resting just off of her shoulders, looking more composed and regal than anyone you’ve ever seen before. The light reflects against some of the crystals sewn into her veil almost creating a halo around her. The light airy dress looked stunning on her and seemed even brighter as the two of you stood side by side. All the intricate layering and the bright white of her dress contrasted beautifully against yours. It wasn’t your original plan but the midnight blue gown and it’s simple pattern seemed to exaggerate your figure in the best of ways. It’s plain bodice and jeweled collar drew attention up and away from the changes you were hoping to hide.

The doors are drawn open and the two of you take a sharp breath as you begin the long anticipated journey down the aisle. To anyone else she would seem calm and composed, but you knew better, “You know, I’ve still got the carriage waiting outside. Say the word and we’ll start running. I’ll even lead the horses myself if that’s what it takes.”

You can see the slight bounce of her shoulders as she begins silently laughing. Looking around you begin to hold on to faces in the crowd, doing your best to remember where everyone was seated to use for later. It was a shock to see Namjoon and his new bride so close to the front, you thought they’d be in the back where she’d be hidden away from the prying eyes of so many nobles. After all, their relationship had been quite a scandal and she was much too far along to hide anything. What didn’t surprise you was the look on Taehyung’s face when he saw you and his fiance nearing the altar. The two of them were stupidly in love with each other and you could see that from a mile away.

You found yourself rather exhausted after all the excitement from the queen’s wedding, deciding to take just a short break at home before involving yourself with any of the court’s drama for a while. It was meant to be just a week, maybe two at the most but as time went by it felt much better to be in the manor with Yoongi than anywhere else. The two of you were still bickering like any other day, but being at home gave you a space away from the rest of the court once you’d started showing. The two of you became cautiously excited about your future child, still too worried to be fully invested but getting closer as each week went by.

There had been a few rough times along the way, but everything had been going well for the most part. That little piece of hope growing each day was worth any of the worries and discomforts you were facing, even the morning sickness that lasted much longer than you would have preferred. You thought things were getting better until another worrisome incident took place.

“Yoongi, I started bleeding this morning, and something feels very wrong.”

“Are you alright?” He shook his head realizing his mistake, “I’m sorry that’s a ridiculous question. What are you feeling, is there anything I can do?”

“I’m scared Yoongs, I don’t know what’s going on and I can’t tell if it’s normal or if it’s going poorly again. It can’t end like last time, I can’t lose another. I don’t know if there’s anything that can be done, I just don’t want to be alone.”

He crawled up into the oversized bed beside you, gently taking you in his arms as he brushed your hair aside. “I know there’s nothing you or I can do and it’s completely out of our control, but I want you to remember I’m here and I will always love you no matter what.”

The midwife had a sad smile when she entered the room. Mrs. Lee was one of the oldest staff members serving the Mins, having delivered you herself. It warmed her heart to see the two of you curled up together so caring and gentle for once. She had originally been hired to act as a wet nurse, but when your mother went into early labor the midwife had been by her side. You’d practically been raised by her along with a few other maids, so when you found out you were with child there was only one person you wanted to have with you.

Mrs. Lee had seen you grow from a small frail infant to a rather intelligent young woman, and knew almost all of the struggles you had faced along the way. It was always her that you went to with any problems whether it was scraped knees or scheming nobles. Your first pregnancy was rough to say the least, and she was there for all of it holding your hand when everything came to it’s heartbreaking end.

And here she is now, doing her best to keep you calm as she conducts her exam. You begin to shift as you feel another one of the pains you’d felt earlier. It wasn’t horrible, only strange and unpleasant. Yoongi presses his lips to your forehead while you begin to play with his hands to distract yourself. The two lay holding tight to one another as you wait for the midwife’s news. As she felt your stomach, Mrs. Lee paused for a moment furrowing her brow before suddenly bursting out in a smile unlike any other.

“Your Grace, I have good news and even better news. First off your child is in perfect health at the time being.”

You let out a heavy sigh of relief, both of you feeling as though a large weight had been lifted.

“Second is those little pains you were complaining about. It’s not something going wrong that feeling is from the baby kicking. A lot of mothers complain about it being an odd feeling, but it’s good and it means that the baby’s doing well.”

“They didn’t kick last time,” you whispered.

“I know Angel,” she explained. “But you’re much further along this time, and you seem much healthier. Having some spotting this late is a bit concerning, but so long as you start getting enough rest and I keep checking up on you, I don’t think we have anything we need to be too worried about. I’m going to head out now and give the two of you some space, but you can call for me at any time even if it’s something small.”

Mrs. Lee excused herself and quietly left the two of you on your own once more. Yoongi loosened his embrace and turned to face you, there were tears in his eyes and the biggest gummy smile he’s had. You take your hand and place his against your stomach where your unborn child kept kicking. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while before he finally felt something, “They kicked! They actually-” He laughed and gave a joyful little sigh at this, “I love you so much Angel, you’re going to be an amazing mother.”

“I love you too Yoongs, I couldn’t do any of this without you. We’re going to be a great team, but I think our child is going to need a name pretty soon.”

Yoongi gave you an evil grin, “We should name her Yoonji”

“Absolutely not, I think I’m going to be sick,” you announced pressing your hand to your stomach. “We are not naming her after your sister, she’s too much of a b-”

“You can’t keep calling her a bitch, especially when we’re in front of others,” he tried to sound exasperated but the laughter that followed quickly put an end to that act.

You rolled your eyes at the ridiculous argument the two of you kept falling into, surely there were more important things than your opinions and not so backhanded comments about his sister. “Please be serious. If you could choose any name for our child, what would it be?”

“What about Aria for a girl’s name?”

You smile and take his hand in yours once more, “I think it’s beautiful, but we’re not going to need it. We are having a son.”

“My Love, I have no doubt that you know just about everything but we’re not going to find out until they’re here. There’s no way of being sure.”

“No, I’m absolutely sure. This child will be our first beautiful little boy, and I know I’m right. It’s a mother’s instinct and I’m never wrong.”

“Then what are you suggesting, since you’re never wrong.”

“What about Hyun-Su?”

“It’s perfect.”

You pull him closer and reach up to cup his face between your hands, “We’re going to be good at this, right? They’re going to turn out better than we did.”

“I hope so,” he turns his head slightly as he presses his lips to each of your palms. “Regardless they’re going to grow up knowing that they have two parents who will love and fight for them no matter what.”

The two of you stayed under the covers, wrapped in this moment of relief and utter bliss at knowing that your child would grow to be safe, healthy, and above all else loved. What you didn’t know was that this joy would be short lived as much grimmer news was always just around the corner. You had found out quite some time before Yoongi, receiving the letter from one of the associates you had within the court. Oftentimes it paid to have eyes and ears throughout the kingdom, but for possibly the first time you regretted having this knowledge. The letter shook in your hands as you considered your choices, you could send help but you knew there would be some kind of trap lying in wait. There was no way you would risk losing Yoongi to such an obvious scheme, even if it meant sacrificing someone else. Throwing the parchment into the fireplace you watched as all of it crumbled to ash.

The letters kept coming, this time from the Southern Kims themselves each one growing more desperate in their pleas for assistance. It would be one thing to send soldiers, but you knew Yoongi would try to go with and fight the second he heard that Seokjin was in danger. The Kims were kind and had been there for you and your husband every time you needed help, they deserved better and it broke your heart to turn them away knowing that they and their children were likely to die.

At first you just hid them in the pockets of your dress, but after one had nearly slipped out in front of Yoongi you had taken more precautions in hiding the precious information contained in the writing. It began with storing them under the dresser, and then in your pillowcase, burning them the second you had a chance. You had been pulling up the floorboards in search of a new hiding place when Yoongi finally found out. Pushing the envelope under your skirts you had tried to keep him from noticing anything amiss. Unfortunately your husband was more observant than you would like to give him credit for and he had known you long enough to know how you’d try to hide something.

“Yoongi, you can’t go. These aren’t just another group of ruthless barbarians stupid enough to slaughter their own men, they’ll know that you’re coming and they will plan for that.”

“I’ll meet with the generals before I go, we’ll come up with a plan. It will be alright, I promise.” He took your hand in his willing you both to believe the words he said.

You pulled away from him as you stood, “Very well, we can meet with the generals and send troops to help the Kims. However, you are staying here.”

“No, Jin might get on my nerves at times but he’s one of my closest friends. I’m not going to do nothing while he and his family are at risk.”

“What about our family? I know I didn’t want to get too excited about anything, but we don’t have very long until we’re parents ourselves.”

“I’ll be back before the baby comes, without so much as a scratch. I promise.”

“Please don’t. Don’t make promises that we both know aren’t guaranteed.” You took a shakey breath, “Yoongi, I rarely ask anything of you, but this time I am begging you please don’t go. I can’t lose you- we can’t lose you.”

He said something, but you could hardly process the words as his footsteps echoed across the floor, he left you with the hollow sound of your bedroom doors swinging shut behind him and a simple apology mumbled from behind the sealed doors.

You refused to sit and do nothing as your husband led himself to slaughter, if there was anyway to prevent his death you would find it. Collecting all the debts and favours owed to you by the less than upstanding members of the court was just the beginning. It took more bribing and blackmail than you had bargained for, but you got other nobles to send the reinforcements you needed. Lady Park had been all too cooperative after you happened to mention a certain nude portrait and it’s current whereabouts, she and her husband sent twice the guards you had asked for and even provided maps of the area. As for the others, some were less generous but were still eager to compensate you for information or silence in one way or another. The Northern Kims were unable to send any troops of their own. However, Namjoon’s young wife had provided a sizable amount of gold and information on a mercenary group that was up to the job. You had nothing to use against them and didn’t know of anything they were in need of, but for some reason she had given you help regardless. It was a small kindness, but a greatly appreciated one in your time of need.

Everything was in place and you’d given the go ahead for them to approach the men surrounding the Southern Palace, but you’d yet to hear back from any of your troops. All of this had been meant as a backup plan in case something went wrong, but as days turned into weeks Yoongi’s chances of success were growing smaller. You’d taken to pacing the halls at night as your due date drew nearer, he should have been back by now.

“Y/N, you have to rest. You're putting too much stress on your body and that’s not good for you or the baby,” Mrs. Lee warned as she pushed your hair away from your face.

“ Well... seeing as how he’s the one causing all of this, you can take that up with Yoongi once he’s back. Until then I’ll be up doing everything I can to make sure that he comes home in one piece.”

Mrs. Lee didn’t seem too fond of your reply and folded her arms across her chest, “I’ll be sure to mention that, but until then I want you to be resting as much as possible and taking care of yourself. So little miss, you will be in bed, eating three full meals a day, and you will not be fussing over all of this anymore. What’s done is done and all we can do is wait.”

One of the maids came knocking at your door, disturbing your mandated rest. Somehow you’d become even more confined to your room after the slight back pains you’d felt that morning. You’d been told to get your rest and avoid getting too worked up. Mrs. Lee would be furious if she found out, but she wasn’t the one in charge here and you had told them to wake you at any hour if they had news from your husband. The young girl had placed a small parcel before you and saw her way out as quietly as possible. You tore the small bow apart, unwrapping it as quickly as possible, tearing the paper piece by piece until you felt shredded wet fabric against your hands.

From the mess you were able to identify one of Yoongi’s jackets, torn to bits and coated in sweat from the battlefield. You’d grown used to seeing things like this, but what stopped you in your tracks were the warm heavily saturated stains of blood that had seeped into the cut fabric. He’d sent you these before, but never in this condition. The two of you had a running joke that he could damage any clothing or armor he wore in a fight, so long as he came home unharmed. But this didn’t seem like it came from someone else, if he had been wearing this then it had to be his blood. Picking up the paper, you looked again for a ransom note, a threatening letter, anything that would tell you that he was still alive, but there was nothing else. He was gone and there was nothing you could do about it.

You felt a sob forming as a different kind of pain tore through you. It was a kind of pressure that brought you to your knees, crying out as Mrs. Lee rushed to your side. She helped you to the edge of the bed, helping you to lay back as she wiped the tears from your eyes.

“It’s going to be alright Y/N, we’re gonna get through this.”

“I can’t- I can’t do this alone. I’m not ready.”

Mrs. Lee takes your hand and squeezes it in hers, “You’re not alone, I’m right here with you

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, he’s gone.”

“Now that’s enough of that, you need to save your energy. I was trying to keep you from going into labor this soon, but it looks like it’s about time to push.” You shook your head at Mrs. Lee’s words as you tried to delay the inevitable. As much as you attempted to stall your labor, your efforts had been in vain as you entered the hours of pushing. Your vision blurred from falling tears as you cried out for the one person who vowed to be by your side for moments like these, all the while knowing that he was never going to walk through that door again

“Angel, I’m here.” Yoongi’s voice called out as the doors were thrown open.

“You’re hurt,” you commented as you took his face between your hands. He had a large gash running down his face, the cut at first glance seeming to go through his eye as well. As you started to remove the blood it became clear that it had been a very narrow miss, but was deeper than you had hoped.

“It’s only a scratch.”

“Oh really, If that’s only a scratch then all this is but a stomach ache and I should be up and about in a few minutes at most.”

“That’s hardly a fair-” Unfortunately for Yoongi, whatever argument he had planned was soon cut off by your yelling at yet another contraction. He climbed into the bed behind you, holding your hand as you cursed him for putting you in your current position.

Whomever said that the pain of childbirth disappeared from one’s memory the second they held their child was horribly wrong, and you wanted nothing more than to personally stab that person in the stomach so that they could feel a fragment of everything you went through. And yet, when you looked at your newborn son it felt as though all that pain were worth it. Yoongi had somehow forgotten about all the horrible things you had called him during labor, or at least decided not to bring it up for a very long time. Your child had made an early and all too exciting entrance into the world, and all of you seemed to be recovering from this in one way or another.

Yoongi had been healing very well, but it became apparent that his wound would leave a scar. Not that you minded, he’d teased you about yours since the very first night the two of you had known each other intimately. Even now as you lie in bed he still traces the two lines on each side of your spine, pressing a kiss to each of the spots he claimed must have held the wings of an angel before you had fallen.

“I think we’ve earned ourselves at least a full day of napping.” Yoongi commented, already pulling the covers over the two of you.

“Just one?” You asked, “If you ask me I think we should try and break our old record and try for at least two and a half days of sleep.”

“When did we,” he paused as the memory dawned on him, “Are you talking about the New Year’s when we were snowed in with the Park family. I remember being in bed for most of that weekend, but I don’t recall much sleep going on at the time.”

“I was talking about after all of that, we ended up being so tired that we spent our last couple days asleep. We could have gotten a few more hours of rest if their staff hadn’t woken us up.”

“Well, there’s no one to bother us now. And our son is sound asleep, so I think we should be too.”

The two of you glanced at the tiny figure in the crib across from you, he looked so small and fragile but you had been relieved to know that he would continue to grow into a strong and healthy young boy. He was only a few days old and you were already starting to notice that he had formed his dad’s same habit of oversleeping, “Hey Yoongs, I’m happy he takes after you.”

#yoongi x reader #bts fic #bts ff #yoongi angst #bts angst #bts fanfic #yoongi fic

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neon-dynasty · 4 years ago

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Kamigawa was a failed endeavor. Released in the autumn of 2004, Champions of Kamigawa promised some new things for Magic the Gathering, and the return to some old things as well. Most importantly, in my opinion, it showed that Wizards was paying attention to what fans were interested in (outside of Magic) and wanted to provide a way of relating to the fans. However, just about everything they did with the setting and game either couldn’t live up to expectations or outright failed. Here’s why I think the original Kamigawa block failed, and why I think a return would be a resounding success.

This came out much longer than I’d expected, so hit the jump.

For its entire existence up until 2004, most of Magic’s settings were a hodgepodge of fantasy tropes, and the storyline had been following or tying into a single thread for years. Kamigawa was the first setting to truly be free of the ongoing Magic story. Nowadays, however, Magic is known for its settings based on real-world places and cultures. Just this past year, we’ve visited Eldraine (Arthurian Britain), Theros (ancient Greece), and Ikoria (less a real culture and more about giant monster tropes). Back in 2004, however, visiting a clearly defined theme world like this was something that hadn’t been done in a long time. In fact, it’s something the franchise traditionally shied away from. 1996’s Mirage block took place in Jamuura, a continent on Dominaria based on sub-Saharan Africa.1995’s Ice Age was set in a Viking-inspired Terisiare. (You could say that Arabian Nights and Portal Three Kingdoms also count, but those were more wholesale copies than homages.) Based on ancient Japan, Kamigawa was the first herald of a new worldbuilding philosophy for Magic, one that would see the creative team at Wizards of the Coast put their own spin on familiar cultures and mythologies, while still keeping them distinctly their own. Kind of like Disney movies.

The mechanics also promised to shake things up. While I don’t remember any of the card announcements, Kamigawa block introduced many new pieces for the game. Samurai and ninja had their own keyword abilities in bushido and ninjutsu, and most of the sorcery and instant cards dealt with arcane and spirits. Legendary had its own theme as well, with 138 unique creatures (139, if you count the other Yamazaki brother) and 39 other permanents, with a number of cards that cared about the supertype. Finally, there were flip cards, a mechanically and visually interesting way of getting more value out of those creatures and introducing a sort of sidequest to your game.

Kamigawa was gearing up to be something special in Magic. But as I said at the very beginning of this piece, it failed.

The mechanics were kind of a disaster. Splice onto arcane was parasitic and to get any value out of it, you’d need to go all-in on overcosted cards. Bushido, sweep, offering, and most of the rest of the keywords were similarly underwhelming, either providing minuscule value or actively getting in the way of what you wanted to do. Putting the legendary supertype on a card is a downside when Commander doesn’t exist and singleton formats are not a popular way of playing. It doesn’t help that having too many legendary creatures in a set thend to make them feel less special, as well. Flip cards, while cool in theory, wound up being a logistical mess that didn’t add much to the enjoyment of casual games, and barely saw tournament play. All of this meant the cards didn’t really impact Standard, and Limited was a clunky ordeal more often than anyone would have liked. Following Mirrodin block, the most powerful three sets since Urza’s block, was also a tall order, and one that almost no set was equipped to fulfill.

Admittedly, while I love the card game, I absolutely adore everything else about Magic. The storyline intrigued me when I started playing during Onslaught block, and knowing that there was this vast body of lore kept me hooked. Hearing that there was a Japanese-inspired setting coming up was pure hype for someone who’d also been into anime for years and video games for years before that. The early 00s were an interesting time for entertainment, as Japanese animation had finally infiltrated American mainstream media. Pokémon had been a successful card game for years (another story for another day), and Yu-Gi-Oh had just hit the scene in America after doing well in Japan for a few years. With all this and a burgeoning internet, fans of anime, video games, and Japanese culture had certain expectations. To say Kamigawa did not meet them would be an understatement.

The general setting was based on an older Japanese culture, one which didn’t see much representation in media. Samurai, ninja, youkai, along with other popular figures and tropes were either later inventions or had a more solidified image hundreds of years after the source material took place. While I remember many Magic the Gathering fans being worried that the game would take on an anime aesthetic to capitalize on what was popular with the wider geek audience, they actually took it in the opposite direction. Instead of bright colors and bold outlines, Kamigawa was a dark and gritty place, which was made even more evident by the increasing demand for realistic detail in the art department. The kami themselves, one half of the conflict, were alien and foreign to behold. These weren’t based on images that otaku would have been familiar with, Japanese or Western, but based on much older stories that had been phased out of the public consciousness.

In short, there is no “in short.” There are many reasons why it didn’t succeed, but ultimately, it came down to being something that no one really expected or wanted. Instead of taking the cheap, easy, and profitable route by leaning into anime culture, Wizards bucked the trend and used a setting that most Magic fans would not have been familiar with, forcing it to fit within the franchise. They also filled the block with parasitic mechanics that were clunky and actively detrimental to play. And yes, I’m leaving out dozens of other reasons why Kamigawa failed, but those are the main ones that I personally feel hurt the setting.

Sadly, as public-facing employees remind us constantly, Kamigawa is a very difficult sell to the higher-ups. It was one of the company’s biggest failures, and they can’t use tweets and Tumblr asks from enfranchised fans as justifications for its return. And yet, the requests still pour in. I believe that the reasons for this desire are the key to a new set based in Kamigawa.

Let’s start with the biggest one: Commander. In many ways, this format is kind of the anti-MtG. It’s a long, drawn-out process that uses decks built with your whole collection, rather than the newest releases. Cards that are awful in most other formats are amazing in Commander, and one of the biggest drawbacks a card can have - the Legendary supertype - is a major boon here. It’s also the current most popular format for old and new players alike. I think that more than anything else, Kamigawa’s legendary theme is what draws new players, as Commander enthusiasts will inevitably find some interesting cards that would never have worked well in the old days.

I also think that Wizards of the Coast has learned a lot since 2004 (and whenever they started work on the original block). Remember, Kamigawa was the first of its kind: a real-world inspired setting completely separate from what the entire franchise had been doing for years. There were bound to be mistakes, and they’ve clearly learned how to rectify them. The following setting, Ravnica, used an Eastern European city aesthetic to compliment its two-color guild theme, but was still constrained by the block structure. Upon our return there, they changed the block structure to better fit what the themes and story wanted. On the other hand, Zendikar, their D&D-inspired adventure world, was beloved for its fast and fun mechanics, as well as the feeling of exploration on the cards and in the media. The return, however, involved destroying all of that in favor of an extradimensional war setting. Guilds of Ravnica and Zendikar Rising each supplied what the fans wanted out of those settings, to varying degrees of success.

Wizards also keeps showing us glimpses into Kamigawa through Core Sets and supplemental products. Tamiyo showed up on Innistrad and Ravnica. They printed new shrines (compatible with the old Honden) in Core 2021. Yuriko, the Tiger’s Shadow, is one of my favorite commanders of all time, and she’s from the 2018 Commander set. They still value the setting, and don’t seem to be interested in ignoring it to the point of obscurity (like, for example, Mercadia).

And, obviously, there are the rumors. With a blog name like mine, you have to have known this was coming. The three planeswalker concepts from surveys could point to anything: Commander products, supplementary sets, etc. However, I think that the web domains for Kamigawa Neon Dynasty point to a full set of some kind.

Interestingly enough, the events of the original Kamigawa block take place in Magic’s very distant past, so it’s been a tantalizing prospect to see how the place might have changed in the past few thousand years. Skipping over medieval fantasy and bringing it past the present into a cyberpunk future might be an excellent way to go about it. Aesthetics from early 90’s anime could still be stylistically unique in Magic, while keeping elements from the old setting would root us to the original block. I could see the new story centering around a conflict between one faction clinging to ancient traditions and another pushing magical technology to its futuristic limits. After all, Tamiyo still dresses in old-fashioned robes and reads from scrolls, and the moonfolk were known to be almost completely isolated from everyone else. I wonder what the kami would look like, if we even saw them at all.

Ultimately, I think that Wizards is in the perfect spot to try Kamigawa again. Between their worldbuilding experience, the rise of the Commander format, and a willingness to push the aesthetics of their game in different directions, there’s a lot of reason to hope that we’ll be heading back sooner or later.

Please feel free to let me know if I missed something or got any details wrong. And please discuss what you’d like to see in a return to Kamigawa, either new stuff or old.

#mtg #kamigawa #kamigawa neon dynasty #tamiyo

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illfoandillfie · 4 years ago

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Can I get a general career reading? With the art nouveau deck and the archetype oracle please.

of course darl!

tarot: ace of cups, page of cups, justice, queen of cups,3 of swords, the fool, the tower, the hanged man, the world

okay!! we have some interesting cards here! something that drew my attention immediately was the first and last cards. we open with an ace which is the start of the minor arcana and all of the aces are related to new starts or new opportunities. And then we end on the world which is the last card of the major arcana and symbolises completion and fulfilment. so this seems to be a self-contained cycle you’re entering.

I’d also like to just acknowledge how many cups cards there are here. The cups as a suit is related to emotions and the heart so this may be a highly emotional time or you may find yourself being driven by your emotions rather than logic or reason. There’s also a lot of major arcana cards which isn’t necessarily good or bad but it’s worth noting because the major arcana are generally related to Big life events or milestones whereas the minor arcana are more sort of every day things. so this seems like it’ll be a significant period for you. but lets have a closer look at it all.

So like i said, the aces are related to new opportunities and the suit of cups is tied to emotions and the heart. So the ace of cups is related to new things or new situations that are cause for strong emotions. A lot of the time it’s connected to romance but in this career reading it’s probably more likely some sort of new opportunity, particularly related to creativity. There’s a lot of potential here, all you have to do is reach out and take the cup. But it’s not all happiness. The ace is being clarified by the three of swords which is a card of heartbreak and suffering, It can be through delays or absences, unrest or confusion. Any sort of disruption or incompatibility. This could indicate something going wrong at work. A worst case scenario could be being fired/retrenched but it could also be related to people you work with or just a tough work environment that you struggle with. Something here isn’t looking good though. The ace of cups can relate to intuition or spirituality as well so it might be that you’ve had a gut feeling something is coming or you might have noticed changes happening around the work place and if that’s the case I would definitely listen to your gut and prepare yourself for bad news. But there is definitely a silver lining here. The 3 of swords isnt the main card, the ace of cups is and that says to me that while something will go wrong it will open you up to finding something new which is a better fit for you. It might even be that the bad thing happens to someone else and consequently you take over their roll or something like that. But if you’ve been thinking about starting up some sort of creative endeavour, like an etsy store or writing a novel, this is the time to push forward with it.

Then we have the page of cups and the fool. There are two court cards who appear in this reading so one may be someone you’ll associate or work with but it’s entirely possible that both of them represent you. The page is imaginative and sensitive. He’s a bit of a dreamer and often has his head in the clouds. This definitely fits in if you’ve been considering a new side hustle or if you’ve been thinking about making a change in your career path. the fool as a similar sort of energy but he’s less dreamy and more of a free spirit. he isnt worried about where he’s putting his feet, far more concerned with what he’s experiencing in each moment. He’s innocent, sometimes naive, but also courageous and more concerned with having fun. In relation to career and finances he’s definitely a symbol to take the leap - whether it’s selling art or putting your hand up for a promotion or leaving a job and finding a new one. The fool says go for it, especially if it’s something you’ve been dreaming about doing. There’s a very fresh and energized feeling in these cards and it seems you’ll soon be presented with an opportunity to follow through with your dreams.

next is three major arcana. Justice is about doing things in the right way without cutting corners. The fool might be impulsive but justice is reminding you to do things right the first time so you don’t make a huge mistake that ruins all your plans. The tower is interesting in this position. I won’t sugar coat it, usually the tower is about a drastic, dramatic change. The kind of thing that shatters your world, sends everything crashing down around you. Together with Justice it could be a sign that some sort of truth is going to come out that turns things upside down for you. If you’ve been stealing office supplies or embezzling money (hopefully not) it is going to come out. On the flip side it could be about someone else’s lies being found out. If you’ve been involved with any workplace disputes recently the justice card is a sign that things will go in your favour as long as you’ve been honest and fair. And this could relate to that big change that’s going to open the new opportunity of the ace of cups.

But I don’t feel like that’s exactly it. If the tower had shown up next to the 3 of swords i would say yeah that’s it. But with it being sandwich between justice and the hanged man i feel like it’s something else. So let’s look at that hanged man. It’s a card related to sacrifice, release, and changing perspective. In relation to career it could symbolise feeling stuck or uncertain about where you’re headed. So together these three cards could be advice for you or a warning of sorts. They’re saying that the big change and taking that leap of faith the fool asks you to take, won’t be easy. There will be times when you feel like you made a mistake, like you’re in over your head and you’ve gotten yourself into a tower situation that is so much worse than whatever the 3 of swords you left behind was. You will think about throwing in the towel. you will think about giving up. But don’t listen to those voices. Justice is on your side and the scales will rebalance for you. It might take some readjustments, it might take rebuilding parts of your plan, it might take a fresh perspective. But you will be vindicated in your choice to try something new and things will clear up.

Finally we have the queen of cups and the world. The queen of cups is a bit of an upgrade to the page from earlier. Of course, the queen may be someone you’ll turn to for advice or help. But I think she could also be you, closer to reaching your goal and the end of the cycle. The queen of cups is compassionate. She is calm and comforting. She symbolises devotion, pleasure, success. Where the page dreams and imagines, the queen creates and acts. She’s also a reminder that whatever you do as a job should help you feel emotionally fulfilled and not just financially. Especially since she’s being clarified by the world which is related to fulfilment as well as harmony and completion. The world comes at the end of a journey. It represents assured success and is associated with getting that job you want as well as graduations and celebrations. It’s a sign that if you take this opportunity that will present itself soon you can turn it into something you love and which can offer finance stability. The World is also about the start of a new cycle though. As one thing draws to an end, or one goal is reached, you see there is still further to climb and more to accomplish.

I drew you 4 of the archetype cards as well as a few numerology and elemental cards.

So the archetypes first. Thanks for requesting this deck by the way! I don’t often use it so it was nice to bring it out again! The thought behind these cards is that everyone’s personalities and psyche is made up of a number of different archetypes, some more evident than others. And these archetypes may change as you grow and also depending on the situation you’re in - you might act one way at work and another with your friends. I think traditionally these cards would be used to describe people but I’m hoping they can give us some insight on traits you can use in relation to your career as well as general sort of knowledge about the situation presented in the tarot cards. Each archetype as a light side and a shadow side which reflect both positive and negative aspects.

The first archetype is the Alchemist. Light - transformation of base motives and goals into golden wisdom. Shadow: Misuse of power and knowledge that come through spiritual practice. - to me this really fits with the tarot cards. The main message of the tarot was to seriously consider whatever dreams or fantasies you’ve been thinking about in relation to your career to to go after them and i think thats what the light attribute is really getting at here. You have the power within yourself to turn you little goal into something big and beautiful.

Prince. light - romantic charm and potential for power. shadow - using power for self-aggrandizement. This is interesting considering the number of cups cards we had and how often they’re linked to romances. The prince may be someone you come across, maybe someone involved in whatever the 3 of swords situation is. However, the prince is also seen as a ruler in training and if you’re appearing as the page of cups to start and gradually becoming the queen, then it’s also quite possibly related to your journey.

Trickster. light - transcending convention, stuffiness, and predictable behaviour. shadow - manipulating others through duplicity. This card could be linked with the fool perhaps, unpredictable and kind of wild. It also reminds me a bit of that justice card, especially if you’re taking it from an angle of “someone did something wrong and they’re being caught out”.

Child: Magical. So, according to the guidebook there are 4 archetypes that everyone will have one of but each of them have multiple versions. The child is one of those and here we’ve drawn the magical version. light - seeing the potential for sacred beauty in all things. The belief that everything is possible. shadow - pessimism, depression, and disbelief in miracles. believing that energy and action are not required for growth. this definitely feels like its related to the ace of cups and the 3 of swords, believing that something wonderful can come from something painful. It may also relate to the page who spends his time dreaming rather than acting, like the shadow attriubte.

From the numerology deck we got personal growth, effort, and pride. personal growth indicates a time of significant growth and improvement and that is absolutely reflected in the tarot cards above. theres a lot of potential here and a lof of cards that suggest this will be a turning point for you. Effort is a sign that things coming will require some hard work from you, extra effort to overcome obsticles and challenges. but when the going gets tough the tough get going and you are definitely tough enough to handle it. And Pride to me represents that you will be proud of what you can accomplish through this hard work.

Finally, the element cards: magnetism (attraction) and rock (endurance). there are magnetic forces that are pulling you towards this change and this opportunity. this could tie in with the intuitive message of the ace of cups, if you’ve been able to sense things shifting. rock is another card that points to things being difficult at times and it’s saying you have what it takes to get through them and to find success and happiness.

#woof #this was a bit of a long one.#i dont think i can get through the last couple of readings tonight #since i have work tomorrow #but i will answer them asap #i might try and get them written up over lunch tomorrow even if i cant get onto tumblr to post them until after i get home #i'll defs try to have them up by this time tomorrow though!#i'd say i'd post them on wednesday when i normally have a scheduled day off #but this week i'm covering for someone and actually working weds and thurs #but dw! they are coming!#card readings

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yellow-r-o-s-e · 5 years ago

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LAOFT Christmas headcanons

I’m lucky enough to have an awesome supportive family who makes me actually enjoy the holidays and now I’m going to project then onto LAOFT because Vi asked for headcanons and also because I’m having kind of a rough winter so this makes me focus on all the good on my life which makes me feel better:

For @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors ‘s au

It’s really impractical for Linda to try and buy gifts for all 4 of her dads so they start the gift exchange fairly early on. All five of them pick names out of a hat on black friday (shopping on black friday is not something that they’ve ever done, it’s always just Thanksgiving leftovers and/or putting up decorations much to Lagan’s fake annoyance because “it’s still November”) and they each only have to get gifts for the person whose name they draw. So Linda only has to make one gift and she always puts dozens of hours into it over the course of the entire winter.

Linda once teamed up with Brian to record him reading some of Roman’s favorite stories out loud and then she designed and drew a cover for the CD, she once spent a month putting together an entire tea garden for Logan when she was really little (and he did an amazing job of pretending to be surprised for someone who can’t lie, then again, his absolute joy was completely genuine), she made an entire homemade jacket for Virgil (May and Roman taught her how to sew over the course of that winter), she tried to get Patton a dog one time but her other dads wouldn’t let her so instead she decided to write a song for him (it sounded like it was written by a 9-year-old because it was but Patton cried and loved it so so much)

The dad squad each also get really nice presents for each other, although Linda’s gift is the coveted one (they always fight for who gets to give her a present and a lot of the time she mysteriously gets 4 presents somehow). Also everyone not chosen by Virgil mysteriously gets gifts “from Santa Clause” because “you can’t prove it was from me” or at least “please don’t try to prove it was from me” because this boy doesn’t ever stop being extra

Because Thomas Sanders is actually Christian I’m just going to say that the Sanders family is also the most traditionally Christian in this and project my family’s religion specific traditions onto them

So when Thomas was little he started the tradition where on Christmas day, instead of praying before they eat, the entire family just sings the happy birthday song to Jesus. They also had a tradition of a Christmas nativity play that was usually organized by Thomas and was always a disaster in a good way. It was just kind of:

Thomas: ring ring

Logan: *holds up fake phone* hello?

Thomas: Hello I’m the angel of the lord and he told me to call you

Logan: that’s not the line

Thomas: yes, and!

Logan: I cannot physically lie

Thomas: yes, and the reasons you cannot lie is because you are Mary and God made you without sin

Logan: wait I thought I was playing Joseph?

Thomas: you were, now you’re Mary

Logan: No?

Thomas: yes, and!

Logan: why?

Thomas: because I’m the director!

Larry: wait can I be baby Jesus then?

Logan: dad, you’re always baby Jesus, it’s Momma’s turn

Dot: I’m totally okay with him being baby Jesus again, I can be Joseph

And it’s largely entertaining for everyone involved, especially when they add more people

Nowadays it’s put together by Brian, who usually just plays the narrator and is an actual good storyteller and features Linda who’s incredibly stubborn and later also Percy who’s even more stubborn so it’s just a mess in the best way possible, and you can bet Thomas and Harley and May and the husband squad are recording the entire thing

Thomas: “For hysterical purposes”

Logan: “You mean historical purposes?”

Thomas: “I know what I said”

They make so many Christmas cookies throughout the season, Linda and Patton especially bond over it, and at first she loves to make sugar cookies the best because then she gets to decorate them with frosting and it’s like art but as time goes on her favorite cookies are Kourabiedes (yes that’s really specific but just look them up, if you’ve never had then I’m sorry for your loss) and she gets powdered sugar Everywhere while making them

A tradition started from Patton’s side of the family: Every year when they cut down a tree, they also cut down a little circle of stem from the bottom (so you just get a thin little circle of wood) and then decorate it with Sharpies, making sure to write the year somewhere on it, and then they attach a little hook to it and hang it on the tree as an ornament. So they have a little piece of every tree they’re ever had hanging up.

Thomas and Harley make eggnog for all the little cousins and it’s super unhealthy and they don’t care

Roman teaches Linda to make “fancy hot chocolate” which contains the amount of hot chocolate mix you’re supposed to add, is made with cream instead of milk, and also contains melted white chocolate, chocolate syrup, nutella, m&ms, whipped cream and sparkly sprinkles on top, and whatever else is in the house thrown in

Patton: Roman, sweety, I love you but you might actually die if you keep drinking that

Roman: yes but what a way to go

Virgil: Roman, we’re right in front of Linda-

Linda, slurping from her own mug: I look death in the eye and laugh

Virgil: you know what, never mind, I can’t stop either one of you

If you haven’t already guessed Roman is the one who starts singing Christmas carols and stringing up lights the first day of November and Patton and Thomas encourage him

Also, newer tradition started by Linda, December 26th is family board game day. This is because

1. She gets new games on Christmas a lot of the time so of course she wants to actually be able t try them out as soon as possible

2. She really likes board games where she can beat her dads and she cackles when she does and it’s actually really cute somehow

3. She always craves attention and this is a way to ensure that all four of her dads are paying attention to her at once and extend the attention she gets on Christmas day

4. Christmas is fun but it’s also easy to get “peopled out” so it’s really nice to just have a day of staying inside and confining social interactions to the immediate family

It doesn’t have to just be board games, they can play with other toys, video games, etc. but the Official Sacred Rules made by Linda dictate that everyone must do something fun that involves Christmas toys and give Linda affection. Patton, Logan, Roman, and May when she’s available are happy to comply. Virgil does his best to be available (it can be hard to get two days in a row off of court duties but Belladonna would die for Linda and does everything she can to let Virgil be home)

The few times Virgil wasn’t home Linda at least made him bring a deck of cards and called him via magic mirror to play games with him throughout the day

#love and other fairy tales

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sagittariusboyfriend · 5 years ago

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im gonna do a "how i see the signs" as well!!

traditionally masculine aries: a force of creativity. oftentimes politically correct. very friendly and easy to talk to, but will shift in temper and energy depending on whether or not he is in focus. musically inclined.

traditionally feminine aries: also a force of creativity. a kind of jittery energy that cant really be contained. might go up and down in volume a lot depending on social context but is always bursting to have a conversation. very awake and with fire in her eyes. openminded and wouldnt hurt a fly. artistically inclined.

trad. masc taurus: ugh horrible. forcefully straight forward, blunt in an unsensitive way, not that good at picking up on social cues because he is convinced of his reality. might be pompous and pretentious, even bitter. the flip side of venusian traits - pretty uncharming. snarky. way better at group/professional relationships than personal relationships. assertive in the workplace and is doing his job better than anyone else could.

trad. fem taurus: intelligent and an intellectual. sensual, assertive, has such a presence that people are in awe most of the time. might be pretentious but its actually genuine and doesnt come off as a negative trait. powerful.

trad. masc gemini: ahh gemini. witty, quick, reactive. genuine, but in short bursts. his intuition is based upon HOW he feels at any given moment, however he has no clue WHAT he feels. scared of emotions. might have a tendency to gaslight. obviously prone to communication and loves learning from history, but has a hard time seeing the bigger picture over the details. small things make or break him... for a week or so. then its forgotten, until something stirs it up 6 months later, and his emotions are all over the place; its like they get tossed up in the air and love might stick to the ceiling and pride to the wall and fear to that person over there and he has no idea where to start to assemble. charmingly childish, prone to grumpyness. social artisan regardless of controversial values or not. needs constant intellectual stimuli.

trad. fem gemini: does not need romantic relationships to feel like a complete person! prefers friendships over love relationships, and can usually pick and choose between lovers if on a romantic whim. not always even interested in shacking up with anyone, makes a happy independent single household. that "fun" friend. self-confident, quick, witty, might have a sharp tongue. absolutely excels in social situations and knows everyone in one way or another, and everyone knows of her in one way or another. prone to ghosting people for weeks because she simply forgets to respond. loses focus easily. probably works in sales. might come across as not so complex to other people.

trad. masc cancer: sweet, charming in a wholesome way. in tune with himself. intuitive and embraces and encourages talking about feelings. oftentimes very politically correct. might live somewhat of a fake life in the sense that he IS a family man, but cant help himself from wanting dirty, promiscuous sex for many hours with many random people. giving and generous - in every sense. probably does a lot of philantrophy or volonteers.

trad. fem cancer: reserved. exudes feminine energy, almost to a point that she is not comfortable with herself. very very sweet, just wants everyone to be okay. will disappear and reappear in social circles and no one will know where she has been, but theres an air of mystery to it and no one dares to ask. might be some kind of red preistess lol.

trad. masc leo: loyal, as long as he doesnt feel in the slightest that he has been made a fool of. very strong integrity, but an integrity that is based on image. easily approached, the nicest person in the room and will include and respect everyone. generous and genuinely loves anyone who does not come off as harmful, and will give you his last money if he feels you need it more. works hard to feel safe. creative in what he thinks is a funky way, but its actually pretty mainstream.

trad. fem leo: also honest, hard-working and loyal. integrity is also important. creative in traditionally artistic ways, like photography or drawing. has a natural authority but is the sweetest person and will NOT abuse it. very passionate about peoples equal value, doesnt really have a flare for drama at all, just wants to be stimulated. when she loves she loves with every fiber of her being and being affirmed by her partner is imperative to self-worth.

trad. masc virgo: retains information like a motherfucker! man, what a chattery bloke. an earth sign ruled by mercury makes the most, i think, well-rounded PR personality. gemini can frick off when it comes to arguments because trad. masc virgo WILL shut you down. he serves facts and will probably be a tad manipulative about it, but will also admit to it. doesnt really wait to run you over or quip back, and then just stares at you blankly as if he is waiting for a response. witty and warm like a sun to his closest, will make jabs and is cold like granite to people he doesnt like. might however have some ego issues.

trad. fem virgo: pretty much exactly like trad. masc virgo, only retains a certain jovial energy and a strong sense of nurturing and dicipline. very funny! authoritarian.

trad. masc libra: might come across as very calm and even meek at times. everyone likes him, no one dislikes him, but he isnt a big personality. nice and sweet and always positive. comfortable in the background as the glue that keeps groups together. not very verbally communicative, but ingenious when he channels his communication through music or art. wants to be appreciated and very much is. pretty private, but everyones friend.

trad. fem libra: full of the good venusian traits. loves love, loves good food, loves yoga, loves pampering herself and others. the best hostess you have ever met. has a hard time deciding on things and will make herself suffer through qualms and trials for days for something that, for anyone else, could have been decided within a couple of minutes. somewhat of a perfectionist. spiritual. gets along with everyone. very into female impowerment.

trad. masc scorpio: kind of rude, but smart. he doesnt know where it comes from, but his subconscious intuition oftentimes leads him to hidden truths, whether they are pleasant or not. might be the jealous type. can just trust his gut and will know exactly what is going on behind closed doors. intelligent in a very abstract way. might come across as always ready to strike just in case someone thinks they are better than him in any way.

trad. fem scorpio: does not show emotion easily. is very intelligent and knows how to lead a conversation where she wants it. inquisitive, literally opens her entire mind for you when you sit down one-on-one. not for anyone to enter, but for her to use ON you, and will analyze your behaviors to the core and dig around in there. make you see things from perspectives youve never even thought about. this could be used for bad, but usually its used for your own good because insight and truth, darkness into light is what she is after. intense. low key passionate. a great person to brainstorm with. excudes sultryness, but almost like a perfume, an illusion, mostly because people become so mesmerized with her psychological skill that they immediately figure she is coming on to them. powerful socially. doesnt want nor need drama, the quest for truth just gets ruthless sometimes. loyal if you dont mess with her integrity. unlike leo, her integrity is based on conscious and subconscious intuition. not into practical things in general. does not care for high morals.

trad. masc sagittarius: good at everything on the first try but gets bored easily, even depressed when forced into routine. diplomacy is important, so is personal freedom. a charismatic positive personality that shines bright and has an almost gravitational pull because of it. wants to be valued for his brain and generosity of free, non-traditional love and insight. learning is everything. the bigger picture is everything; abstract concepts that you can translate and cross-reference to different doctrines and schools and philosophies. on an eternal quest for knowledge in all situations, be it emotional or practical. "why do things work like this?" he asks and is genuinely excited to hear your and everyone elses reasoning. his goal in life is to get to know himself through others and to find firey partners to come along for the ride and share the fun. loathes drama, wants everyone to be accepting. optimistic. might be the guy many fall in love with but who is completely oblivious to it because he has his mind set on other things.

trad. fem sagittarius: very much like trad. masc sagittarius. also fierce, takes no shit, the life of the party, everyones instant friend and a BIG personality. equality is very important!

trad. masc capricorn: attractive, cold, sexual. on the grind, because everything works against him either way so he might as well work hard and overcome. dry humor and a smug smile, vicious eyes. but tender and fragile once you get to know him. so used to being the underdog in his own head that he hasnt realized everyone sees him as the leader. doesnt realize people follow him. doesnt care. is just and stern. is not afraid of delivering harsh truths, can shut you down with a look.

trad. fem capricorn: leads with silence. not because of shyness at all, its just a demeanor that comes naturally. although may have been shy when young, simply because of society. exudes power, unknowingly or knowlingly. intimidating and stylish as fuck. eloquent. uniformity is a keyword for everything. has learnt the hard way. hilarious dark humor. prefers respect to spectacle. is a force to be reckoned with and gains pretty much everyones respect.

trad. masc aquarius: might have a hard time deciding about personal freedom, what is and what isnt. contemplative, insightful, the least traditional of traditional men. high EQ, might prefer polyamorous relationships, almost lacks jealousy. tall and slender. very much capable of seeing through all points of view and will speak rationally. rarely gets heated in discussion because he just doesnt see the point in being reactive.

trad. fem aquarius: a higher being. high octave intuition; the person with the highest EQ youve ever met in your life. new insights with every breath. does NOT care for tradition, usually only indulges in the bare minimum of tradition to move about unnoticed in society as the penultimate alien being they are. she has an entirely different kind of mind that seems so complex and effortless at the same time, and her knowledge and ingenuity could change the world - if it was only ready for it. finds solutions to everything. altruistic. optimistic. so wise and so rebelliously young at the same time. manages to care for everyone and everything all the time. truly wondrous.

trad. masc pisces: an academic. a sensitive guy. highly philosophical, in its scholastic form. makes a good teacher of abstract concepts. always searching within himself first before speaking. interested in history and the human mind. constantly battles with feelings of not being good enough but always comes out as more and better than expected. probably very introvert.

trad. fem pisces: witchy. dreamy. some kind of seer. needs quite some time to process emotional impacts. has a tendency to mimick peoples traits and quirks without knowing it. very emotional, highly sensitive. very impressionable. open to and thirsty for new ways to make sense of all these emotional impacts, but might change ideologies and/or trim her sails to the current wind. conflicting subconscious emotional forces at play all the time which leads to a lot of self-doubt. not necessarily introvert, but introspective.

#astrology #how i see the signs #zodiac signs #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #obviously from my perspective and i actually know very few female geminis i realized????

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so-shiny-so-chrome · 6 years ago

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Witness: Icarusdusoleil

Creator name (AO3): Icarusdusoleil

Creator name (Tumblr): icarus-doodles

Link to creator works: http://icarus-doodles.tumblr.com/

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: I have always enjoyed the Mad Max movies and I fell even deeper in love with the franchise with Fury Road. The characters were fascinating and the world seemed so fleshed out, despite only catching small glimpses of it. It felt very lived-in and real, because of the rich visual storytelling. Wanting more of Max and Furiosa in particular, I dove headfirst into looking at the beautiful art and reading the well thought out fanfiction and meta that the fandom had created. I have never encountered such a passionate, creative, observant, and welcoming fandom as the Mad Max fans. I fell just as much in love with the fandom as I did with the movies. I knew I had to create my own art and writing to express my love and admiration for Mad Max.

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: I'm definitely the most interested in Max and Furiosa, so my art and writing mainly revolves around them. I like to explore their companionship because they very much seem like soul mates--somewhere between platonic and romantic. I think I often use ravens and creeping vines to represent them symbolically in my work... but that may just be because I had a dream once where Max was a raven.

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: I think my favourite work overall is my fanfiction "Plants and Birds and Rocks and Things". I built a playlist of songs that made me think of Max and Furiosa and "A Horse With No Name" by America really stuck with me. The fic became very introspective and someone once likened it to Max acting as a ferryman taking Furiosa to heaven. Writing it was incredibly cathartic and the positive response I got was overwhelmingly wonderful. I also greatly enjoyed sharing my raven!Max dream, because Donda used the idea for the Corvus Cormax fic, which I enjoy so much. It was so cool to see my silly idea turn into such a beautifully written work. I love drawing raven!Max.

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?

A: Truthfully, I think the wasteland is a character in itself, because it is such a tangible and metamorphic force in the movies. So I think I would describe my wasteland as a mix between gritty, hopeful, and spiritual... maybe ethereal. The wasteland is certainly not gentle or kind, but there are moments of quiet and peace that lend to a certain thoughtfulness.

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: When I draw, my process is very much just stream of consciousness. Sometimes I use references, especially if I'm trying to draw Max and Furiosa realistically, but other times I just draw from my head. I draw both digitally and traditionally. For writing, I am much more meticulous and organized. I prefer to have a story completely planned and outlined from start to finish before I begin. I like using inspiration from history, mythology, and folklore, so I end up doing a lot of research whenever I write. I always listen to music, whether it's soundtracks or my Mad Max inpsired playlist. And whenever I hit a rough patch, I just take a break until I'm feeling ready to work on it again.

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: I have a whole Mad Max inspired playlist! Some of songs that I associate the strongest with the franchise are "A Horse With No Name" by America, "Cruel Sun" by Rusted Root, and "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas. The song that reminds me the most of Max is "Wasteland" by Woodkid. And the one that belongs the most to Furiosa is "Chi Mi Na Morbheanna" by the Rankin Family.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Finding time to create for myself has always been tough, because I have a full-time job as an art teacher. I often feel burnt out and don't have the energy to create indulgently.

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: Furiosa is by far the character that I relate to the most. I instantly felt connected to her burning determination, her incredible rage, and her open vulnerability. I often wish I had a character like her to look up to when I was a child. Max is the other character that I really enjoy, because I also identify with his disjointed anxiety and desperate need to help. I love writing and drawing both of them, because they don't fit into the conventional action hero and heroine roles, which is really refreshing.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?

A: This comes as no surprise... but Max and Furiosa. I've mentioned before how I view them as soul mates that ride the line between platonic and romantic. They are such complex characters with very weighty pasts behind them, so exploring how they would interact and play off of each other is a lot of fun. I would also like to explore more of Furiosa and Angharad's relationship in the future, but I haven't had the inspiration to do so yet.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: Drawing-wise: I'm all over the place. Lots of AUs, lots of canon, lots of "i don't even know but this was fun to draw". I just draw what I want because it's really fun to explore different ideas! Writing-wise: So far everything that I've written can be tied together or they can stand alone. I haven't though much into it.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: I break canon so much when I draw, because it's fun to just say "what if Max was turned into a raven" or "what if Furiosa grew out her hair and got a cool new arm". When I write, I actually stay fairly close to canon. I like using my writing as almost filling in the blanks of the established world. That being said, I really do like to add little twists here and there.

Q: Share some headcanons.

A: I really only have one that I'm super passionate about. I subscribe to the idea that Tom Hardy's Max is the same as Mel Gibson's, because I really enjoy the thought of all movies tying together. My headcanon vacillates between the idea that Max is immortal or that he died years ago, but his spirit still wanders restlessly through the waste.

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?

A: "Drifter" by @kaasknot was the very first Mad Max fanfiction that I read and I was blown away by their version of Max. It truly stuck with me and was one of the reasons I jumped headfirst into the headcanon of an immortal Max. I also love "He Just Wouldn't Stay Away" by @cygnaut, "The Length and Breadth of Fury Road" by Proprioception, and of course "Corvus Cormax" by Donda ( @thatonezombiecosplayer . I'm also so incredibly inspired by all of the gorgeous art that has been produced in the fandom.

Q: What advice can you give someone who is struggling to make their own works more interesting, compelling, cohesive, etc.?

A: First and foremost: create for yourself. If you're not enjoying what you create, then find something that you do enjoy and make that instead. Take your time and start small. Your creation doesn't have to be a masterpiece. If you are truly stuck, then take a break or maybe ask someone to take a look at it with you to get some feedback.

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: I would love to go to Australia!. Not even just for Mad Max, but just because I have always been fascinated with Australia. And I would like to try Wasteland Weekend, because I know a lot of people who go... but I feel like it would be very out of my comfort zone and I would just be an anxious mess the entire time. So I'm not sure!

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: I'm currently working on a Furiosa-themed punk vest. It's been a slow process, but it's been a lot of fun to work on. I hope to share it soon! And of course I'm going to keep drawing fanart, because it just feels like coming home every single time I visit the wasteland characters. I have also been slowly trying to chip away at an idea for a fanfiction. I've had this idea for a couple years and it includes an older Furiosa, Max as either immortal or a spirit, and disappearing children. I've been calling it "Babes in the Waste". I'm hoping to actually start working on it this year.

Thank you @icarus-doodles

#Mad Max Fandom Creator Spotlight #Mad Max Fandom Spotlight #mad max fanart #mad max fanfic #fury road fanart #fury road fanfic #mad max author spotlight #mad max artist spotlight #mad max fanfic author spotlight #mad max fanart artist

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vetyr · 7 years ago

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do you have an idea of a checklist for learning how to create digital art? like i know practice is essential, but i don't really know where to start or where to go from there. thanks so much xox

I think I can toss some stuff out here that might be of use. Assuming an artist learning digital art starts from the beginning–owning a tablet & drawing program but not knowing how to use them–here’s an inconveniently long list of stuff that could help them.

TL;DR: 1, mess around till you’re used to drawing digitally. 2, study and create ad infinitum. 3, a bunch of tips that are pretty hard to TLDR so you should probably just go over em. Step 2 is basically what you asked me NOT to tell you (“practice”!), but unfortunately it’s all I know how to do :,(

1) If you own a tablet that you plug into your computer (i.e., you don’t draw directly on the screen), feel free to spend a few weeks or even a month+ just getting used to it. When you first start out, it’s really freaky drawing in one place and seeing things appear somewhere else, but trust me in that you won’t even notice the disconnect after a few months of consistent digital drawing. I’ve been painting digitally for about 2 years now, and it’s actually slightly easier for me to draw digitally than traditionally. [If you have a cintiq, or you use an iPad with Procreate, or something similar, then you probably don’t have to spend as much time in step 1.]

Keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how good you were with traditional drawing when you start digital; the mental disconnect you have will make it very difficult to think about proportions, values, edges, colors, etc. You’ll probably notice yourself making mistakes that you wouldn’t normally make on paper. Don’t worry about them, just keep drawing as you usually would. Digital you will catch up to traditional you in time.

For now, get used to blending colors, drawing somewhat steady lines that go in the correct direction, and fooling around with brushes and brush settings. If you come across a brush that you like (easy to work with + pleasing results), it may help to stick with it as you continue to learn. Digital doodles and sketches are good for this stage; though try to keep doing traditional work so your base art skills don’t atrophy.

If you’re just starting out with Photoshop or Sai or Krita or whatever software you’re using, you’re gonna be intimidated by all the funky buttons and settings that you first see. If it makes you feel any better, I use maybe 0.1% of the tools that Photoshop offers me. When you start, all you need to worry about is the brush tool and control-z, maybe the eraser too.

2) Do studies as well as pieces from imagination. You can move into step 2 as early as you please; you don’t have to wait until you think you’ve become “skillful” at digital drawing (in fact, this step is what will probably help you become the most comfortable with digital). It’s alright if your colors are icky looking and your values are off (tip, occasionally turn the saturation of your drawing to 0 to check the values), because as long as you keep studying reality and appealing art & continually learn from your mistakes, you’ll get better.

Always remember to study or at least appreciate the qualities of art you enjoy. It’s the same thing that people always tell writers–you have to read a lot to write well. You probably shouldn’t shield yourself from the influence of other artists; while you may think that this action would help you develop artistically in the manner most true to yourself, in reality the vast majority of the process of learning art will be honing in on what you find visually pleasant so that you may, in turn, express your artistic taste in your work. If you look at other people’s art, you can pick out tiny aspects of it that you like and incorporate that into your style. It’s a bit trickier to build a style without the “help” of other artists, though you can always turn to nature for help. On that note, I also recommend referencing nature as much as you can, because we as human beings are sort of wired to find natural designs, colors, and structures beautiful. Look at nature for the universally beautiful, and look at art for the subjectively beautiful (i.e., enjoyed uniquely by you).

If you find yourself getting burnt out pretty quickly, then just paint/draw simple and small things for period of half an hour to 1 ½ hours a day (and switch back to traditional). You can spend this time mapping out proportions, creating thumbnails of values/colors, drawing linework, or whatever. Add complexity to your pieces as the months go by, and if you already have a decent foundation in drawing aim to create somewhat finished pieces after maybe four months to a year. Please note that the second part of that sentence was something I completely made up out of my head, because I’m trying to quantify pretty unquantifiable concepts such as a “decent foundation in drawing” and a “somewhat finished” piece of art. If you find it unrealistic, or just too easy of a goal, disregard it entirely. It can take you half a decade to learn to make finished digital art, or you can get it down in a couple months.

3) Fun fact, there’s not really a step 3 as you stay in 2 forever, always studying and creating. But there’s a few other things about digital art that you ought to know, so here they are:

• If your computer doesn’t make a fuss about it, I’d recommend working on a decently large canvas (at least 3000 by 3000; I personally prefer 6000 by 6000). You’ll get less defined edges and colors if you go below 1000 by 1000, from my experience.

• If you have a tablet with pressure sensitivity (you probably should otherwise digital painting is kinda hellish), go to your brush settings and set ‘transfer’ to ‘pen pressure.’ This is what makes it possible to blend.

• If you’re having trouble matching colors while studying, you can always color pick the ref (in photoshop: bring the pic into PS and use the eye dropper tool) and compare its colors to your colors. Some people add too much red to their skin tones, some people draw their highlights with overly desaturated colors, some people make trees and grass in their landscapes too green; whatever the case, take note of and correct errors that you consistently make.

• Get used to using the transform/warp/liquify tools (liquify is technically a filter but you get what I mean). They’re lifesavers for fixing proportion mistakes that you’ve only noticed 8 hours into a piece.

• Give layers a shot. I only work on one layer, but I’ve heard from people who divide their piece up into multiple layers that they’re damn useful (until you draw on the wrong one).

• Flip your canvas horizontally every once in a while to make sure stuff hasn’t gone awry.

• Screw around with color modes; they can do some really fancy things that are difficult to duplicate with normal digital painting, let alone traditional. On the topic of colors, don’t be afraid to use somewhat desaturated colors (near the center of the color picker square in PS). There are some very aesthetically pleasing color combinations that you can make out of somewhat dulled colors.

• If you’re using PS, bind ‘step backward’ to control Z, not ‘undo.’ This is under keyboard shortcuts. Set up a bunch of shortcuts that are the most convenient for you–personally, I only keep my left hand near the lower left region of my keyboard (my right hand is away from the keyboard and off to the right, drawing on the tablet), so I have all of my necessary shortcuts in that area.

This was a bit longer than I expected, but I figure that someone out there can get something out of it. Cheers to you, if you do.

#asks #digital art #art tips #art help #aesthetic #black and white #illustration #beauty #how to #artists on tumblr

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nowhere-hunch · 4 years ago

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Social constructs

A few years ago, I started hearing the phrase “X is a social construct” in the context of social justice. First “gender is a social construct”, then “sex”, and lately I’ve been hearing “race” as well. At first, I didn’t understand the concept well, but as time has gone on I think I’ve gotten a better idea. Essentially, I think a good definition for “social construct” could be “a shared framework people use to cooperatively handle infinitely varied natural phenomena.”

I think the best way to explain this would be to work through a common, pretty non-controversial example: color.

Color is a social construct

“Color” is our brains reaction to light waves hitting our eyes – we perceive different wavelengths within a range of “visible light” as different colors. Since there are an infinite number of wavelengths within that range, technically there are an infinite number of colors.

However, when people talk about color, we are never (or very, very rarely) talking about a specific wavelength of light, but a whole bunch of wavelengths that are next to each other on the spectrum. Essentially, we have divided a continuous spectrum (a rainbow) into several bands (ROYGBIV). This allows us to more easily utilize the concept of “color” in our everyday lives. You can say “These berries are ripe when they’re red” while accounting for all the different variations of red that might occur between individual fruits, for example.

For this to work, the person you’re talking to needs to know (at least approximately) where you put the “boundaries” between the different color bands. As long as you two agree, the placement of these boundaries can be completely arbitrary. This is where the “social” in “social construct” comes from – our concepts are validated by social agreement rather than any actual reflection of physical reality.

When you consider this, several observations follow:

These “boundaries” may be agreed on by one group of people, but they change according to time/place/context.

If you speak another language, you may know that the agreements people have for talking about color vary by culture. For example, in Japanese the word for “blue” overlaps considerably with what we in English would call “green” (e.g. the color of green traffic lights). While English traditionally splits the rainbow into 7 bands (ROYGBIV), other languages may use more or fewer.

Although the whole society appears to agree, it’s likely that no two individuals actually completely agree on the precise placement of the boundaries.

If you give a hundred, or a thousand people a picture of the color spectrum and ask them to draw lines where red turns to orange, orange turns to yellow, etc., you’d most likely not find any two who put them in exactly the same places. Yet we are all (for the most part) still able to communicate successfully with each other about color.

Social constructs usually actually describe the intersection of multiple natural phenomena, even if we don’t always realize it.

In most art programs, when you select a “color” to paint with, you are actually working with three different “spectrums”:

“Hue” – the rainbow spectrum we’ve been talking about

“Saturation” – how bright the color is (full saturation = fully colored, no saturation = gray)

“Lightness” (full lightness = white, no lightness = black, mid lightness = “true” color)

Thus, we get words like “maroon”, “periwinkle”, “navy”, “brown”, etc. The usual answer to “what is color?” doesn’t include any of those. Our social construct of color actually includes not only the bands of the rainbow, but also other attributes like saturation and lightness. This is because our human experience of color is greatly affected by these other attributes, and our social constructs describe our *experience* of a phenomenon, not the actual reality of it.

Two people using the same social construct may sort the same object into different categories for a number of reasons.

First, we already noted how most people probably have slightly different boundaries between categories. Physical differences in our eyes or brains might also affect how we actually perceive color (e.g. colorblindness). Think about “the dress” – many people sorted that image into completely different color categories. Remember that social constructs describe our experience of a phenomenon, not the actual reality of it.

In some cases, we use different attributes to sort phenomena depending on context. Sometimes when we say “color” we mean “hue” and sometimes we mean a hue/saturation/lightness combo. When you’re shopping for clothes, you’ll probably say “I’m looking for a maroon shirt” but when you’re describing your purchase to someone you might say “I’ll wear my new red shirt.”

Social constructs are based on constructed stereotypes but impact our reality in measurable ways.

Each wavelength of light is a completely different color. As stated, physically there is no reason why we have sorted them into bands the way we have… or is there? There are generalizations people make about entire bands of colors all the time: “red is energizing”, “blue is calming”, “purple is luxurious”, etc. There’s a kind of chicken and egg problem:

Did we sort colors the way we did because they have these common characteristics? OR

Do these colors have common characteristics because we have sorted them together?

The fact that the “common attributes” colors are thought to have vary by time (e.g. blue used to be associated with girls and pink with boys, the opposite of today), place (e.g. in the west, white is associated with purity and happiness, while it is associated with death in some Asian cultures), and context (e.g. red could be connected to either anger or love) makes me think more the latter than the former, though I’m sure there’s a mixture of both.

However, it doesn’t really matter whether colors actually have those attributes. Just the fact that these attributes are part of our social construct has a measurable effect on our experience of the physical phenomena. There are experiments that show that people are actually energized by red and calmed by blue, even though those concepts are culturally specific.

As stated, it’s often possible to trace these stereotypes back to some actual reality. Purple is considered luxurious because purple dyes used to be very rare and expensive. But note how the stereotype has remained in place and still has an effect on people’s lived experiences even though reality has changed.

Social constructs usually don’t distinguish between assumptions made about an item’s category and assumptions made based on an items’s category.

The human brain likes to take shortcuts, and one way it does this is by being loose with the distinction between “conditions” and “consequences” of a given object being sorted into a given category. I.e. there’s a difference between “these are the attributes I use to decide that this object belongs in this category” and “these are the attributes I can assume this object has by virtue of being sorted into this category,” but this often gets ignored.

A simple example would be to say something like, “Well, purple is a luxurious color, so I will call any color I decide is luxurious purple.” This isn’t especially common with colors, since it’s really easy for most of us to sort colors by sight and so we don’t need a shortcut, but it happens a lot with other social constructs I’ll touch on later.

Social constructs are not inherently “bad”.

Saying that something is a social construct is not saying that it isn’t real or doesn’t exist or doesn’t impact people’s lived experiences – in fact it’s saying the opposite. A social construct must be based on something real and important to our lives, otherwise we wouldn’t bother to create a social construct to allow us to conceptualize and communicate about it.

Social constructs are necessary for us to live in society, it’s just important that we not mistake our social construct for the actual reality they are meant to describe. Social constructs describe our experience of a phenomenon, not the actual reality of it. “A map is not the territory,” as they say.

Anatomy of a social construct

Now, we can list some things we would expect to find with any social construct:

One or more natural phenomena that are a) experienced by people in infinitely (or practically infinitely) varied ways and b) something that we care about enough to want to think and talk about with others.

A set of categories people sort the experiences of these phenomena into.

For each category, a set of attributes associated with items in that category. These may be used to sort items into categories AND/OR to make assumptions about items after they have been sorted.

We would expect the categories and/or attributes associated with them to change depending on time, place, or context.

With this in mind, we can start looking at some more interesting examples.

Gender is a social construct

If gender is a social construct, we would expect it to be built on some actual natural phenomena. The question is, what is that phenomena exactly, especially if it is distinct from physical sex? I don’t think we as a society have a very good idea of this, which is why, to me, this example is more difficult to talk about than color, sex, or race.

My theory is this: the phenomenon behind what we think of as “gender” is individuals’ specialization in social tasks.

I think this is why sex and gender are so closely related for many societies. The earliest social activities humans were doing were primarily related to reproduction: courtship/mating and parenting, so it makes some amount of sense that individuals would specialize in the tasks required for these activities based on their role in the reproductive process. Someone needs to feed the child; it makes sense for someone whose body produces milk to be responsible for that. And if they’re spending their time doing that, then someone else will have to specialize in the other things that need to be done.

These roles and specialties weren’t (and still aren’t) exactly the same in every family, so as families came together and started to talk with each other about their social roles and specialties, the social construct of gender developed. The concepts of “man” and “woman” corresponded pretty closely with a person’s physical sex. But as human society became more complex, additional social tasks needed to be fulfilled related to spirituality/religion, medicine, industry/technology, etc. These were worked into the gender social construct in different ways depending on the society, resulting in the diversity we see today.

My basis for this theory is just considering *why* it matters to people what someone’s gender is. Humans care about color because it helps us determine what food is good to eat (among other reasons), we care about physical sex because it allows us to find a partner we will be able to reproduce with, why do we care about gender if it’s different than sex? I think that people use gender to make “educated” guesses about:

The language forms used when talking to or about them (e.g. pronouns)

Their roles/responsibilities within their social groups

The most effective social strategies to use with them for the given situation

Social experiences you do/don’t share with them

I.e. it’s a shortcut for figuring out social situations.

So, if we consider “gender” as a construct for describing “how people specialize in social tasks”, then there are technically as many genders as there are people alive on earth – it’s extremely unlikely that any two people will have specialized in exactly the same way. For colors, we mainly use 1-3 attributes (hue, saturation, lightness) to categorize items into categories, but for gender, although there are fewer categories, many more attributes are considered:

The roles/responsibilities you take on within your family (e.g. in raising children) or other groups/teams

The way you present yourself physically via clothing, mannerisms, etc.

Your relationship dynamics with individuals (familiar or strangers) of different genders

Hobbies and aesthetics you are drawn to

Etc.

At this point, we are realizing that our society is so complex that trying to sort every person into one of two available categories just isn’t sufficient. There are so many factors that go into “sorting” people that at this point it’s probably easier and more reliable to just have people self-identify. Sex is not a reliable indicator for all these other things, nor is appearance, interests, skills, etc.

So, we have the natural phenomenon: groups of humans divide responsibility for social tasks between individuals. We have categories for sorting that phenomenon: “man” and “woman” traditionally, and other “nonbinary” categories becoming more prominent as time goes on, and we have lots and lots and lots of attributes associated with those categories. Think of all the stereotypes we use to make assumptions both about a person’s gender and based on a person’s gender.

We can also see how both the available categories and the attributes associated with them differ by time and place. There are many cultures all over the world that have included more than two genders for a very long time. One example is “two-spirit” people in Native American societies. Attributes that are considered “feminine” or “masculine” by one culture may elsewhere be acceptable or encouraged in other genders. For example, in western cultures men are discouraged from styling their hair and face with lots of product, but it is encouraged in some Asian cultures.

This is why gender is considered a social construct: we think about it using concepts that are not a one-to-one correspondence with reality, but are instead validated by social agreement – we as a group all agree to talk about it in a common way.

Sex is a social construct

I think most people are more ready to call gender a social construct than sex, even though to me sex has more in common with the color example than gender does.

Our social construct of sex is based on the natural phenomena of human beings possessing an infinite variety of sex organs – no two people have a set that is exactly the same. The fact that a body is considered “male” regardless of the length of the penis or whether or not it is circumcised is evidence of this.

What makes the social construct of sex difficult for people to grasp, I think, is that it appears to be quite close to a direct one-to-one correspondence with reality, particularly if you’re willing to ignore people with intersex conditions as “outliers” (which I think is unwise). However, if you pay close attention you can see some situations where our social construct starts to fail. This is because although people usually assume “sex” is decided using a single attribute, our social construct actually considers several:

The (visual) sex organs you were born with

The sex organs you currently possess (“sex change” operations may be relatively new, but eunuchs are an ancient phenomenon)

The sex of partners you could potentially reproduce with

Presence or absence of a Y chromosome

Hormone levels in your body

And although the categories and attributes appear fairly constant across place and time, they do vary according to context. This is reflected quite obviously in recent controversies about intersex athletes. Medical and social establishments decide sex based on the appearance of sex organs at birth, while athletic organizations often instead base it on current hormone levels. That’s how someone can live their entire life with no doubt they are 100% female, only to be disqualified from sporting events because they meet the criteria for being “male”.

Again, saying that something is a social construct isn’t saying that it’s not real. In human reproduction there are two roles involved – an egg cell needs to meet a sperm cell, and there are two “configurations” of sex organs that correspond to these roles. This is not being disputed. The social construct is how we “sort” people when these configurations are not exactly consistent and not always as obvious or simple as we might assume.

So, in summary:

Natural phenomenon: People are born with unique sex organs

Categories: “Male” and “female” traditionally, “intersex” more prominent recently, “eunuch”/“neuter” historically

Attributes associated with categories: sex organs visible at birth, sex organs currently possessed, presence/absence of Y chromosome, levels of “sex hormones” in the body

Race is a social construct

Race is another social construct that people might have a hard time recognizing because it is apparently rooted in physical reality - the physical differences that manifest in people due to their genetic ancestry are usually highly visible. The social construct of race is how we conceptualize this phenomenon when no two people (who aren’t siblings) share exactly the same genetic ancestry.

One thing that makes it pretty obvious race is a social construct is that the available categories we “sort” people into vary so greatly by time, place, and context that it’s difficult to even come up with an acceptable list. In everyday life, it seems like we in the U.S. tend to categorize race roughly by continent of genetic origin:

White (Europe)

Black (Africa)

Asian (Asia, sometimes including Oceana and the Middle East, sometimes these are their own categories)

Native American (Americas)

“Latino” is an interesting category. Technically the definition refers to national origin (someone of any race from a Latin American country), but people who only have genetic ancestry from those places are (sometimes, depending on context) considered Latino as well as or instead of Native American.

Notice how these don’t necessarily correspond to the options you can pick from on “official” forms, which for example sometimes include “multiple races”/“two or more races” as an option. In many other contexts someone who is multiracial is seen as being sort of half-categorized in each applicable race, regardless of if this accurately reflects their experiences.

Another way you can tell that “race” is a social construct is that it takes into account more than one phenomenon when “sorting” people. For example, religion and shared *cultural* ancestry has a long history of being tied to race. That is why Jewish people are (depending on context) considered a race even without all having a shared genetic ancestry. There are also Muslim minorities throughout the world today that are treated essentially as separate races locally.

Note that the categories used for race change over time. Catholic people were in a somewhat similar position to Jewish people at one time; remember that the U.S. didn’t have a president who was Catholic until JFK. Catholics were actually regularly targeted by the KKK, and anti-Catholic and anti-Irish sentiments were closely intertwined. Another example is Moors, which is a racial category we don’t really hear these days, at least in the U.S. These were *technically* people of mixed Arab and European origins, but the term was also more widely used to refer to Muslims in Europe generally. Shakespeare’s character Othello is a famous character who is a Moor.

Another very heavily used attribute associated with race is a person’s physical appearance. Depending on context (such as before we had a good understanding of DNA), this might even be more important than genetic ancestry. For example, think about the “paper bag test” that was used in apartheid South Africa – if your skin is darker than a paper bag, you’re black, regardless of your parentage. On the other hand, there have been examples in more recent times of people being forced to change their racial identification because it was discovered that they had ancestors from a particular place, even though it was in no way evident in their appearance or recent family history.

So, in summary:

Natural phenomenon: People have unique physical characteristics based on their ancestry

Categories: White, Black, Asian, “PoC”, Jewish, Catholic, Irish, Moor, etc. depending on time, place, and context

Attributes: genetic ancestry, cultural ancestry/religion, physical appearance

Conclusion

So, this is how I have been thinking about the concept of “social constructs” - I make no claim that this is in any way “correct” but I have found it helpful and maybe others will as well. What this all comes down to is essentially a) “beware of stereotypes” and b) “knowledge can be validated either by accurately reflecting reality or by social agreement - don’t confuse the two”.

Or if you need something simpler: “be respectful and believe what people tell you about their identities and experiences.”

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noahxsweetwine · 7 years ago

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mistletoe

(no one sent this prompt I just wrote it bc I’m igyts trash. Also, I’m not a writer so this is probably bad asfflkajskl)

Jude Age 14

I hate mistletoe.

Given my trademark infatuation with the superstitious, most assume mistletoe is one of my good omens. In fact, Grandma Sweetwine’s Bible makes no mention of the spiky sprig, so I am left to turn to traditional ancient lore to find meaning in it.

The Druids believed mistletoe was a magical cure for every ailment. On the eve of their new year, they gathered it from oak trees, careful to not let it touch the ground. Then they hung it over their doorways and made it into drinks to take advantage of its fortuitous properties.

Mistletoe is actually poisonous. What’s more, it’s parasitic. It invades the soil around another plant’s roots and seeps the life out of it in order to live. The Druids were trying to cure one poison with another.

The more well-known connotation seems ridiculous to me. It’s as if we ignore the obvious danger of the plant for its seemingly harmless and beautiful appearance. (Better not walk under the mistletoe unless you want to smooch someone! What a joke.) Even if I did, the boycott is under full effect. They say if a woman is not kissed under the mistletoe at all during the season, she is destined to stay single for a year. That’s absolutely fine with me.

Some well-intentioned (or possibly mischievously-intentioned) CSA students thought it was a great idea to line the halls with the offending parasite. I’ve managed to mostly avoid it, but I have to check before I walk through doorways. (This isn’t too much extra effort: doorways are an auspicious liminal space anyway, so I’ve always been careful. Depending on who you ask, walking through an entryway backwards can be good or bad luck. Though, most things are either good luck or bad luck depending on who you ask.)

Once, though, I was in a rush to get to Anatomy (the science requirement for CSA students - it’s meant to be more tailored towards aspiring artists. I like it better than traditional science classes, but they still haven’t taught me what I really want to know. How can your twin brother’s beautiful brain suddenly stop communicating with his body? Why does my heart still feel pain when I’m hurt if emotions are controlled by the mind? What happens to the human body when it’s run through with a car?) In my haste, I didn’t look up before entering, and ended up nearly colliding with Caleb Cartwright (art-is-truth, I-have-no-filter Caleb Cartwright). I only dropped my pencil, but when I bent down to pick it up, there was snickering from within the classroom.

“Mistletoe,” one boy with purple hair pointed out. He looked immensely pleased with himself, despite the fact that he had spinach stuck in his teeth. “Wouldn’t want to defy tradition, would you, CJ?”

I gritted my teeth. In fact, I did not subscribe to every superstition out there, I wanted to say. I borrowed from what I saw fit, but Grandma Sweetwine’s Bible was my only obligation. Instead of saying anything, however, I pushed past Caleb, who looked like he couldn’t care less, honestly.

“No offense,” started Randy Brown. “But you look red as a tomato, CJ.”

I probably did. I willed my body to cease its vasodilation (a word I learned in Anatomy. See, education is not wasted on me.) The CSA kids aren’t nearly as malicious as those at my old school, but they often don’t have the tact (or the desire, maybe) to keep themselves from saying whatever came to mind. I wondered how Noah was surviving at the normal high school.

The bell rang, and I took my usual seat next to Fish. (Most CSA teachers changed the seating arrangements regularly to “promote evolving artistic collaboration,” but Anatomy was different because it involved lab partners.) Fish was staring intently at a Rubik’s cube she was holding in her hand. I wondered when she had gotten it, as I’d never seen her with it before.

I snap out of the memory. The mistletoe has started disappearing over the past few weeks, but I keep up my constant vigilance. I spot a sprig laying on the door frame leading to the art wing.

They say if mistletoe is allowed to touch the ground, disaster is sure to follow.

I flick the mistletoe off the door frame. I’m Calamity Jude, after all. Disaster seems to follow me anyway.

Jude Age 16

Maybe the Druids were right.

I keep finding bits of mistletoe in the hood of my jacket. Maybe it’s the work of my fellow CSA students, but I can’t imagine what reasons they would have for that and I doubt they would keep up the prank for five days in a row. More likely, it’s one (or both) of my matriarchal specters who is responsible. If it was meant to frustrate me, it’s probably Mom. If it’s supposed to...encourage me, or get me in the “holiday spirit,” it’s probably Grandma.

The French called mistletoe the “specter’s wand” and thought that its holder would have the power to see and communicate with ghosts. (I’ve never needed help with that.)

Regardless of the planter’s intention, the mistletoe has brought me good luck for once. Or that’s the way it appears.

Guillermo has agreed to mentor me, and English Guy (whose name is OSCORE!) is...certainly something. I keep having to remind myself of the boycott. Yesterday he tried to return the orange to me, telling me that “satsumas” are traditionally given as gifts around Christmastime in his home country.

My mind keeps drifting back to my last class before break: Thematic and Symbolic Art History. The lesson of the day was about, of all things, mistletoe. Or, at least, it was mistletoe-inspired. We learned the history and controversy surrounding works depicting the act of kissing. As in, The Kiss. All three versions: Klimt, Brancusi, Rodin. I wish Guillermo’s works had been included, now.

Guillermo is introducing me to his methods of teaching. I thought Oscar’s modeling would be a one-time thing, but apparently I need a lot of practice in portraiture if I’m going to ever sculpt my mother. I’ve drawn Oscar a lot now. His face is practically seared into the back of my mind. (Does it violate the boycott if I’m thankful his face is so nice to look at?)

Some ancient peoples believed that mistletoe had the power to open all locks. (Do hearts count as locks?)

Am I stupid to dream?

Jude Age 18

I’ve warmed to the mistletoe idea over the years.

It might have something to do with the fact that Noah is currently enthusiastically hanging mistletoe around the houseboat. Like the boat’s name, his sudden interest in the superstition, statistically my area of expertise, is a mystery. (Or maybe not: he only started decorating after Dad and I extracted a promise from him that the kissing rule would not be under effect. I doubt he’ll tell that to Brian, however, when he comes back from vacation tomorrow.) The anniversary of Mom’s death seems to loom less ominously than in previous years.

My wary appreciation, however, doesn’t entirely stem from my brother’s antics.

Christmas isn’t really a big thing in the Sweetwine family. When we were little, Noah and I made sandmen instead of snowmen, and our gingerbread houses were definitely not indicators of our level of artistic potential (at least, I hope not). But now the only tradition we have is ordering pizza and staying inside to watch movies, which happens year-round (especially the pizza part when Noah has anything to say about it).

I can appreciate the sentiment of the holiday, though. Renewal. Gratitude. Family.

Love.

I’m sick of losing soulmates. I’ve lost too many, especially in winter. Grandma. Mom (and Dad, for a while, around the same time). Zephyr.

At first, I thought the best way to heal was to cut out all possibility of love in my life. It seemed to be working for Noah. Hence, the boycott.

That went out the window as soon as I met Oscar and Guillermo. “I’m not okay,” Guillermo had said. “I’m not okay either,” I wanted to reply.

When I became Guillermo’s student, I felt like I was healing, through art and through Oscar. But over time, I realized Oscar had his own problems and we tended to amplify one another’s issues rather than resolve them. Being reciprocally “not okay” wasn’t an automatic path to a relationship. The inevitable breakup was mutual (if we were ever even in a relationship). It was nowhere close to being as messy as it could have been.

The whole Oscar thing should have made me more bitter about love. But it was more of a learning experience, really. A person can’t fix you. You can’t fix someone else. And too much of anything can kill you, as my toxicologist father often points out.

Mistletoe is the same way. It’s a parasitic species, yeah, and that shouldn’t be overlooked. Too much, and it seeps the life out of the forest. But in the right amounts, it has its place.

There was Zephyr. There was Oscar. There will be other chances. But for now, I’m content to have all ten fingers to draw and paint and sculpt with, a father and a brother to depend on in this rocking boat of a family, and the resolution to stop avoiding mistletoe as I walk through doorways.

When I think of mistletoe (and when I think of many things), Grandma Sweetwine’s words come to me:

Quick, make a wish. Take a (second or third or fourth) chance. Remake the world.

(Not confident I got the timeline right but just go with it. I know NoahandJude’s birthday is a bit before winter break, Jude met Oscar and Guillermo during winter break, and Diana died during a winter break....merry christmas/happy holidays!!)

(source for the lore)

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caswatchesoveryou · 7 years ago

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30 questions for artists

thanks for tagging me @jdragon122 <333 :3 so it’s your fault that i didn’t get any tag games for weeks °^°

Rules: there are no rules! Tag whomever you want if you choose to answer the questions

Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital? digital! °^° i started traditionally like everybody else but now i can’t function without my tablet.. xD like..where’s the undo button? why can’t i resize the head? °A° horrible ‘°-°’ the only times i draw traditional are when i’m chillin at the lake with a drawing buddy c:

How long have you been drawing? since kindergarten :3

How many classes have you taken? uhh..i had classes in my graphic/design assistant education o_o

Do you have a DeviantArt, personal website, or art blog? only my tumblr and my deviantart ^^

What’s your favorite thing to draw? Cas? :3 destiel? :33 cute happy stuff, sad stuff too or basically very emotional stuff.. c:

What’s your least favorite thing to draw? i think cars? buildings..hands.. hands are beautiful but damn they’re hard to draw.. >_<

How often do you use references? always :’D refs of their faces and pose refs and designdoll is a big big help c:

Do you draw professionally, or just for fun? welp i wish but it’s just for fun^^

How much time do you spend drawing on an average day? i only have 1-2 hours each night because of my job so i can’t draw much except for the weekend. and i only draw every night when there’s a project that needs to be done. but otherwise it’s the weekend where i can draw 1-4 or 5 hours c:

Are you confident about your art? most of the time i really really like what i see but in the early stages i feel like i can’t draw anything because it looks so horrible °-° and sometimes i have to give up and finish it even if there’s something i don’t like..but oh well.. °^°

How many art-related blogs do you follow? i dunno..many? °3° too many amazing artists out there D:

Is it okay for people to ask you about your process? of course :D anytime ^u^

Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people? i love to draw for other people and making them happy is the best :’D but i promised so many people that i could/would draw them something for their birthday and in the end i couldn’t do it.. >_< and there a still requests waiting and i’m so sorry guys.. T.T i didn’t forget you and one day i will draw it! T.T that’s why i don’t do commissions.. ‘°-°’’’

Do you ever collaborate with others? no i never had the opportunity :’< but i would LOVE to do a collab!!! so if there’s anyone who wants to do one i’m in <:’D

How long does an average piece take you to complete? it depends on how detailed it is and if there’s more than one person in it, how hard the perspective is, the pose, kisses take a while too and so ooon.. lineart takes always the longest because anatomy hates me and that’s why i’m always relieved when the lineart is done because shading and coloring is so much easier.. = u = if it’s a really quick one like the mini comic for new years then..probably still 5-6 hours.. >_< if not more.. i’m a very slow artist.. :< and stuff i want to do as perfect as possible probably 10-20 hours or more.. xD

Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less? definitely more! D: in the past i was drawing too, anime/manga stuff but not that regularly like today. until i completely stopped because there was no real motivation but then spn came.. *o* and with it destiel came and THAT made me draw again more serious than ever! i dunno..an angel and a human in love, that sparked something inside me and i really, really wanted to draw them and get better and all of a sudden i was motivated and inspired again by their beautiful love and especially Cas is my fave thing to draw because he’s an angel.. *u* and overall an amazing character <33 and you guys are such a huge motivation to keep going so thanks a lot! <3 :’D

Do you think you’re justified in giving other people art advice? uhhh..more or less? :s i’m still very bad at anatomy and perspective so you shouldn’t ask me about that >_< but maybe i could help with shading and coloring..i dunno D: i don’t trust myself to be a good teacher.. xD

What are you currently trying to improve on? anatomy °^°

What is the most difficult thing for you to draw? ANATOMY!!! >A<

What is the easiest thing for you to draw? the easiest..nothing? xD everything is hard for me.. >_< except for shading/coloring and maybe expressions? 0:

Do you like to challenge yourself? yeah more or less? if i have an idea i really want to draw then i’m motivated enough to deal with the things i can’t draw well or never drew before. but i don’t practice on my own to draw just cars or buildings or anatomy.. >_< which i really should do but it’s not fun if there’s no story idea behind it :<

Are you confident that you’re improving steadily? yep i’ve improved a lot thanks to spn :D

Do you draw more fanart, or more original art? fanart fanart and more fanart c:

Do you feel jealous when you see other people’s art, or inspired? (Be honest!) jealous >_< and after that i feel like crap, thinking that THIS is real art and mine looks like crap all of a sudden =A= and then i think that i want to draw like that too and try to learn how they did it and get inspired :’D

Do you like to draw in silence, or with music? i did draw with music but these days it’s just the tv because i like some random noise and i can take my eyes off the screen and watch the show from time to time and then get back to drawing again c: or quiet movies are great for me too. i like it when they just talk like in “The Matrix” what is real? what is the matrix etc..it’s really calming this talking somehow = u = or lord of the rings is also one of my fave movies to draw to = u =

For digital artists: what program(s) do you use? paint tool sai <3 c:

For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require? uff..this years deancasreversebang piece which i finished last weekend has 100 layers.. °-°’’’ it really depends on how detailed a piece is because the more details the more layers i’ll add.. xD i’m just too scared to screw up another layer so i’ll make a new one just to be safe.. xD a simple piece has 5-6 layers or something c: but when i’m putting all my energy into it they become more.. haha ha HAHAHAHAAAAA:DDD

For traditional artists: what medium do you like most? (Pencil, charcoals, etc) pencil °3°

For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc) i don’t °-°

What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist? i think what inspires me the most is that i wanna tell stories with my art, i want to convey emotions and want to make people feel something and to see that i actually can cause these emotional outbursts on some people with just my art is the best thing ever..<3 i want to make them laugh, i want to make them cry and just happy :3 <3 it’s just great that they feel what i felt and that they understand what i wanted to say..<3 and yeah..i always wanna get better to touch peoples hearts <3 that’s pretty cheesy i know but this is what i love the most about art >u< and of course all of you with your tags and comments inspire me A LOT and you make me very happy :3 thank you so much! <333 <:3

alright that’s it :D i really don’t know who to tag so i just won’t do it. sorry :< if you want to be tagged just tell me and i’ll do it :D

#ask games #about me #jdragon122

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joel-furniss-blog · 7 years ago

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True Crime and Serial Killer Art

Speaking on social taboos, the subject of death and surrounding issues regarding it remain one of the most prominent today. In multiple different societies there have been traditions to avoid omens relating to death or the deceased. The indigenous Shuswap people of Canada treat widows and widowers as unlucky to hunters and seclude them from the tribe. Among the Agutainos of the Philippines, widows may not leave their huts for seven days after a death, and it is said whoever looks upon her perishes suddenly. Although we have eased on the idea through the centuries and built a much more sound understanding of it, it still remains a subject that we don’t talk about on a regular basis, despite its presence and inevitability within our own lives. More than half of Britons are unaware of their partner’s end-of-life wishes and I’m assuming some don’t even know their own.

The reason is we don’t want to die. It’s simply in our nature to survive for as long as possible. But there remains an interesting case about dying that both intrigues and disgusts us. Murder.

In 2015, Making a Murderer was uploaded to Netflix, an episodic documentary detailing the story of Steven Avery, a man convicted for the murder of Teresa Halbach and the case surrounding it with the overarching question on whether Avery’s conviction and imprisonment was wrongful. The series received around 19.3 million viewers in the US alone, all watching the evidence unfold on whether Avery was wrongfully convicted or not, a real person in real life. The series was basically reality television at its logical peak, directly dealing with life and death. It’s interesting, we understand these subjects as demanding respect and reverence, but can’t help but gawk. Despite being a taboo, death fascinates us to no end, especially the subjects of these crimes or murder cases which breed intrigue into the reasoning on why we would kill our fellow humans.

This fascination is manifested within the True Crime genre, a non-fiction literary and film category in which actual criminal activities and details are analysed and recorded for entertainment. The genre appears in many forms, literary work such as the Vincent Bugliosi’s Helter Skelter detailing the Manson murders, television such as the previously mentioned Making a Murderer, films like the dramatized Zodiac by David Fincher retelling the Zodiac Killer’s crimes, or podcasts like the popular Serial which narrated the real life murder of Hae Min Lee. In other words the genre has spread itself over all media and has become virtually inescapable to most media-watching people and we can’t help but continue to watch due to a shared sense of morbid curiosity or perhaps an infatuation with these characters.

Nowadays the documentary works account more sensationalist crimes and focus more on the profile of the committer rather than the crimes and victims themselves. The serial killers or mass shooters are displayed as psychologically layered and charismatic characters rather than morally reprehensible killers. People like Ted Bundy, Jeffry Dahmer, and John Wayne Gacy are seen as pop culture figures subject to their own biopics and documentaries exploring their every move as if they were celebrities. Some murders even went on to inspire popular movie franchises such as Ed Gein, whose grisly habit or creating trophies from his victim’s skin and slight oedipal relationship with his deceased mother inspired famous movie villains Leatherface, Buffalo Bill, and Norman Bates. We’re infatuated with these people and their crimes, the idea of them taking the life of someone else and defacing their corpses is so alien to us as regular minded individuals that we can’t help but stop, stare, and shake our heads. But some people take it further than simply looking at a distance.

Hybristophilia (also known as Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome) is which one feels arousal and facilitation for someone who has committed a serious crime such as armed robbery, rape, and murder. The paraphilia can be experienced in either passive or aggressive ways, with passive hybristophiliacs often writing romantic or sexual fan mail to notorious criminals, sometimes even developing a romantic relationship with them resulting in marriages behind bars. Most hybristophiliacs have delusions about their idols, rationalising their crimes, believing they would never harm them, thinking they can change their lovers for the better, or actively putting themselves into positions in which they can be seduced or manipulated. Aggressive hybristophiliacs are different as they are willing to help their lovers with their criminal agenda via luring victims, hiding evidence, or even helping commit the crimes. They are attracted to their partners due to their psychotic actions and are unable to understand that they are often being manipulated or abused as well. Psychologist know little about this paraphilia but hypothesise that the hybristophiliacs are submissive victims, narcissistic enablers, or vicarious thrill-seekers. Some believe it’s the natural pinnacle of the ‘caveman’ mentality, where traditionally masculine and aggressive figures are seen as more attractive than others.

In this age it’s much easier to see examples of this paraphilia. On blogging site Tumblr there is a fandom of often teenage girls who obsess over Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the perpetrators of the Columbine high school massacre, and create video and photographic montages and tributes to the deranged teenagers they saw as outcasts and underdogs, even affectionately referring to themselves as ‘Columbiners’. Other internet communities such as ‘Incels’, a group of sexually frustrated men, herald Elliot Rodgers, a misogynistic mass shooter responsible for the 2014 Isla Vista killings as a saint figure due to him sharing some of their views. This is the case for many murderers online. You can type in the name of a famous serial killer into Tumblr and find blogs and posts dedicated to him, even sexual fanfictions between them and a non-descript self-insert character designed to represent the reader. Some of this worship is either ironic, for humours effect, or simply just to be edgy, (which is why I found interest within this) but many of them do see a small piece of themselves within these people, a cut of self-loathing outcast and edgy passion they can identify with. Because often the idols they herald are youthful and full of hate, and this overly emotional position can lead them to creative outlets.

For example, the previously mentioned Columbine shooters often expressed themselves through their uncommon fashion choices, enjoyment of alternate music, radical political opinions, and a series of videos for a school project entitled Hitmen for Hire in which the two swore and yelled violent statements at the camera in between acting out shootings on students in the school’s hallways. The video is embarrassing to watch and is reminiscent of many people’s cringeworthy teenage years when they thought rebelling against the norm was the coolest and a completely new idea, when in reality it always comes off as lame and a massive blunder in the future. The same goes for Isla Vista killer who wrote a 107,000-word manifesto entitled My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Rodger, in which Rodger’s discusses key events in his life that led him to his delusional and psychopathic state. I haven’t read the entire document as I don’t have the ten hours it takes to read, but from the experts and snippets I have seen the document reads horribly and in explaining himself and trying to spur sympathy or profess his superiority, Rodgers comes across as a whiny, unaccepted 14-year-old too big for his britches rather than a twenty-two-year-old adult.

The reason I draw attention to these people is that I’m interested in the theme of creativity within murders and mass shooters. Many serial killers either produce drawings and paintings before or after they are incarcerated, drawings and paintings that are documented online. They range in quality and merit, with some being near photorealistic recreations, highly stylised sketches, and colourful and detailed paintings while others are the most basic of sketchbook doodles. But there always remains something interesting to each one, whether it be the execution (of the art, not the killers) or the subject matter. For example, John Wayne Gacy’s works were deeply rooted within pop culture with him painting figures such as Charles Manson, Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King’s It, the titular Seven Dwarfs from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and punk singer GG Allin. He even showed a small knowledge of the artworld with a grotesque painted recreation of Salvador Dali’s In Voluptas Mors. Another murderer who had a passion for the pencil was Danny Rolling who’s highly detailed and meticulously sketched pencil drawings show elements of surrealism, gothic and heavy metal imagery, and some running themes of popular figures such as Hitler. The drawings are disturbing yet technically impressive and stylistically interesting (some are even for sale online) and perhaps if he wasn’t a psychopath he could have found success.

There’s a particular work by a particular murderer I would like to look at. Richard Ramirez AKA the Night Stalker was an American serial killer, rapist, and burglar who operated in the Southern California area between June 1984 and August 1985 before being convicted of thirteen counts of murder, five counts of attempted murder, eleven counts of sexual assault, and fourteen accounts of burglary. Ramirez’s art was poor, mainly done on notebook paper with biro pen or coloured crayon and featured themes similar to the previously discussed killers, pop culture icons and gothic/heavy metal imagery to create unthreatening and frankly lame pieces. But one stands out from the rest by evoking an unsettling feeling within the viewer, an untitled drawing depicting Ramirez’s favourite actress Abigail Breslin. The drawing appears to be almost entirely made with black biro sans the lips which are a shade of deep crimson and scrawled with an unidentifiable material (possibly felt tip), all drawn on a piece of thin, folded, off-white paper. While the technical style of the portrait is poor and hasty, I find an infatuating quality surrounding it, one element is drawn from the style itself. It is a simple line study and form register, featuring no shading what so ever and sparse detail, for example, the ears are left blank, the natural flow of the hair is only alluded to with some scattered lines, the nose is only represented by a single line, and the eyes are totally undetailed except for a pair of pinprick pupils. Another factor is how some of the lines in the image falter before they can connect, examples found in the left shoulder line falling just short of the neck, ponytail trailing off into noting and right corner of the dress missing a connection. The most prominent feature of the drawing is the lips, almost grotesquely oversized and curled upwards in a sickeningly dead smile at the viewer, the deep red almost seeming like a bloody gash in the otherwise plain white image. The blood red slit for the mouth, the dead and unblinking eyes and the not-all-there composition make the image deeply unsettling even without the context of Ramirez’s heinous crimes and the knowledge that the subject was less the sixteen-years-old when Ramirez drew her. Paired with that knowledge it is a horrifying piece that can make the skin crawl.

While some might think that writing about and shinning a light on these deranged killers to advance my own visual art may be amoral or at least cause for concern, the idea is one I wanted to explore at the start of this project. I want to learn how one can be different, break taboos, transgress standards yet still be accepted, this is a good way to explore that. In dealing with this unspeakable yet fascinating taboo of murder and sexual assault I’m gaining key information and a creative stake in my project that will hopefully help advance it in a visual and conceptual way. Also, creating work based on serial killers is very edgy.

I would also like to stress that I do not support any act of murder, rape, or other crime done by anyone mentioned in this document.

#contextualresearch #studioculture2

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hqvalentineexchange · 7 years ago

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faq (edition 2020-2021)

Table of contents

General rules Doubts and concerns (before you sign up) Creating and publishing gift

General rules

Is a NSFW/R18 content allowed?

No, sorry. Not everyone is comfortable with such a content, plus we have no way to confirm peoples’ ages and we don’t intend on exposing minors to this kind of content.

What else is off-limits?

Romantic relationships between minor and adult characters or family members (so minor/adult ships and incest). Some possibly trggering things could slip our minds at the moment though so if you have any concerns, please feel free to message us!

What can I make?

You can either draw a fanart or write a fanfic. There are no other options at this moment, because determining the minimum for things such as playlists and edits is difficult. Maybe it will change in the future, if there are next editions of this event!

I changed my URL. What should I do?

Just send us an ask, email, message on Tumblr or any other social media (we linked them in our about!) with your previous and current URL. We’ll inform the person making your gift about the change.

I can’t find the URL of the person I’m making gift for. It shows me the URL is incorrect. What do I do?

Send us an ask, email, message on Tumblr or any other social media (we linked them in our about!). It is possible we didn’t send you an information about the change yet, or the person you’re making the gift for forgot to inform us about them changing their URL.

Can I tell the person I’m making the gift for, that it’s me?

Nope. Keep it a secret until the February 14th, when it’s a time for a big reveal.

Can I message the person I’m making the gift for to get to know them and their preferences better?

You can send them anonymous asks if they have Tumblr and enabled anon asks or anonymous asks on CuriousCat if they have one, but please, keep your identity and details about your gift a secret.

Doubts and concerns (before you sign up)

Is it a stricly shippy event?

No! We appreciate all the kinds of relationships in this house! It can be shippy, but it can be 100% platonic, too!

Do I have to make a work centered around Valentines?

No, if the person you’re making gift for didn’t include it in their prompts. You can make a Valentine-centered work if you’re stuck and don’t have any inspiration tho. You can use the prompts:

❀ the first date or the perfect date if they asked for romantic relationships

❀ found family or all that glitters is not gold (as a methaphor for “not all love is romantic”) for platonic relationships instead, then.

Do I have to create a work for a pairing I don’t like?

Nope! We’ll match you with someone basing on relationships, favourite characters and the prompts/likes. We’ll do our best to make sure everyone is happy!

What if somebody drops out and someone won’t get a gift?

Hopefully some people will want to be a Pinch Servers - people who’ll make an additional gift in place of the person who dropped out. We’ll try our best to guarantee no one will be left without a gift.

How can I contact you and how will you contact me?

You can contact us through Tumblr (we’ll answer asks on the blog), various social media and email (just email us back once we send out the match-ups), but we will always contact you through your preferred means of contact. There is a question in the sign-up form where you can specify how you want us to contact you.

I’m signing up through Tumblr. Do I have to sign up with my main blog?

No, you can sign up with your side-blog, too! Just add your main blog’s address in the brackets next to your side-blog’s URL in the sign up form, so we know it’s you.

Creating and publishing gift

I got informations about the person I’m making gift for! May you remind me what exactly the sections are? Do I have to follow all of them?

You don’t have to follow all of them! Only the favourite romantic/platonic relationships and prompts (with a small exception mentioned above in the “Doubts and concerns (before you sign up)” section and explained below once again) are mandatory to follow! Obligatory thing to do is also to avoid things listed in the triggers section and possibly not using the things from dislikes field.

Favourite tropes are there to guide you in the right direction. They help to gauge general likes of the person you're making the gift for. You can use them, but you don't have to!

Other romantic relationships are optional. You can use them as background relationship, but you don’t have to.

Little Things are small details and headcanons that aren’t exactly prompts, but would make the person you’re making a gift for smile. They can be general or linked with one of the things they listed in the “Prompts” section. Little Things™ can be only mentioned in passing or used somewhere in the background, be an important part of the work or not included at all, it’s entirely up to you.

Favourite characters are greatly appreciated! They’re usually part of the pairing anyway.

Triggers are absolute no-no, as I explained above.

Also remember that in dislikes you could list (besides characters, notps, AUs and other things) also the (possibly exagerated) tropes or headcanons that became widely accepted fanon, but not everyone likes!

Do I have to follow the prompts the person I’m making the gift for gave me?

It’s highly recommended. But if you’re stuck and don’t have any inspiration, you can use the prompt the first date or the perfect date or found family or all that glitters is not gold (as a methaphor for “not all love is romantic”) instead. Don’t make up your own prompts, please.

How does my gift should look like? What are minimum requirements?

If you’re creating an art: don’t create a small piece.

If you’re making digital art, the minimum is 1600x1200 pixels.

If you draw traditionally, the minimal size of paper sheet is A4, make sure the scan is in high quality (if you can’t make a scan - make sure the photo is in high quality too, sharp and with good lighting).

The sketches are not allowed, the piece has to be finished - either colored or monochromatic.

If it’s multi-part comic, publish the first part between February 14th-21st and finish it later.

If you’re writing fanfiction: at least 1500 words.

It can be a collection of drabbles, too, but the word count for all the drabbles in total has to be at least 1500 words, too.

It can be an oneshot or multichapter, but please, if you’re writing a multichapter, publish the first chapter between February 14th-21st and finish it.

Are we allowed to include profanity in the fics?

Sure! Just put a warning (regardless if it will be “literally one f-word” or “[character A] swears a lot” or something else), just in case.

It’s not allowed to write NC18. That is rate E on AO3. What about T and M? Not too much mature content of course but like… can we briefly mention it? Or go into it smoothly? For example are we allowed to write detailed kissing/ little bit of make out?

We think make-out sessions and detailed kissing are okay as long as that’s where it ends.

Can I make more than one gift?

Of course!

When we exchange gifts are we just going to send them to our assigned person or are we going to send them to you first oooor are we going to do it another way?

It’s up to you, to be honest! You can:

a) submit your gift here and we will publish it when the time comes (you can find recommended formating in the question below),

b) post it on your own blog (you can find recommended formating in the question below),

c) post only the link to it - for example if you’re writing fanfiction and you publish it on AO3, FF.net or whatever platform you use,

d) if you decided to post your work outside of Tumblr, you don’t even have to make a separate post to share it here, you can also send the link in private message.

There are only two rules regarding posting the gift:

1. If you’re posting it outside of Tumblr, don’t do it before the posting date (so you can’t post it for example February 10th and then share the link on February 14th. You should post it Febraury 14th (or later, but the deadline is February 21st) and then share the link right away. If you know you’ll be busy then, consider publishing it on Tumblr first (because you can queue it), and only then sharing it on the outside platform later, too).

2. If you’re not tagging this blog using “@” nor using the tags (you can find more in detail explanation in the question below) or you’re using the way from the point d), send us a message that you did share your gift (more details below).

Is there a special format I should use while posting my gift?

Not really. Just make sure that you tag the person you’re making the gift for by using the “@” and, if you want us to reblog it to this blog, tag your work with #hqvalentineexchange or #hqvalex2021 in the first five tags. Just remember - Tumblr is sometimes a meanie and doesn’t show posts in the tag, so if you tagged your work properly and we didn’t reblog it, shoot us an ask or a message to one of the mods. You don’t have to link to the event blog, but it would be greatly appreciated.

Though if you’re writing a fic - you can include a pairing, rating and word count, and consider putting the story under a read more for convenience of others. You also should include the things that can potentialy trigger others, even if the person you’re making the gift for is fine with such content (for example - the person you’re making the gift for asked for super angsty and dramatic zombie apocalypse au with a happy ending. You should warn others there’s violence and blood, and maybe gore, even if your giftee is absolutely fine with it).

I published the gift! Is that all?

Well, yes! Just one more thing - if you have sent the gift or the link to it in private message or didn’t @ this blog or didn’t use the tags we recommended in the question above, please, let us know via email, ask or private message on one of our social media that you did share the gift, so we can keep track of if everyone got their present!

Feel free to send us an ask, if you still have any questions!

#links for mobile

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laurinebruder · 7 years ago

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Slice of Life: You Don't Need College to be a Writer

College was a unique experience for me. While I am now a proud graduate of UW-Madison, having earned my Bachelor of Arts in English, college ranks as one of the biggest regrets of my life. Though I learned much, most of it I've forgotten, and it's been little more than a year since my graduation back in 2016. Further, UW-Madison wasn't my first college. I also attended UW-Barron County from 2008-2012. Yes, it took me 8 years to complete a Bachelor's degree. Even longer, if you count the brief, frustrated period I went to college back in 2004-05. I should have known, even back then, that college wasn't my path.

My path was that of writing. I just didn't know how to make it so. So I did what any Gen Xer with a post-Baby Boomer parent did: I went to college, figuring everything would fall into place and I'd be able to get a job.

Then the economic crash of 2008 happened.

Today, dear readers, I'm stepping away from writing tips to talk about something near and dear to my heart, and to the heart of many young millennial writers and not-so-young Gen Xers: college and writing. (Warning: post contains some strong language.)

For my entire childhood, my single mother, from a family of farmers, talked about college. It was the mecca, the holy land from which intellectuals sprung and jobs were achieved. Just by going to college you were guaranteed a job. That was the ultimate dream my mom had for me: get a 9-5, 40 hour a week job, with benefits, and be set for life. When I talked about my dreams of being a writer, they were talked over by reminders of going to college, going to law/med/vet/whatever school because you can't get anywhere with an English degree. I was the first in my family to go to college and I have yet to earn that magical job that comes with getting a college degree.

Despite earning a degree in English, and with a year internship under my belt, I was unable to get a job in the publishing industry or even another internship. Why? Competition, rising standards, my own inability to impress, and the fact that the publishing industry is flooded. One internship I applied to had 300 applicants. I was lucky to make it into the second cut, though I didn't get the position. Even though I have that higher education, it doesn't guarantee anything these days. Gen Xers and millennials are the most highly educated generation in...well, generations. Entrepreneurs and freelancers abound, in all job fields. Winning a job is harder than ever. I needed more than an English degree to get a job in this new market, even in the field I studied for.

But writing was all I ever wanted to do. So for years, I dithered, caught between my dream of being a writer and the dream of my mother's generation.

And I suffered for it.

Throughout my 20s, I racked up $50,000 in student debt, was homeless, passed through more jobs than I care to admit, and even had to run out of an apartment in the middle of the night. I didn't write a damn thing because I was too busy drowning myself in the bowels of the internet and various comfort foods due to my high stress and depression.

Mine isn't the only story either. Every close friend I have who has gone to college, even those who majored in things like graphic design or computer tech, were unable to get jobs in their fields after the crash of 2008. I considered going to law school just to find something to do with my degree but I knew I'd be miserable there too. Writing is what makes me happy. It's all I've ever wanted to do. And it wasn't until I graduated that I realized:

I didn't need college for that.

This is the message I want to spread to all young writers. College is an insanely personal decision, but if I could take it all back, I wouldn't go to a 4-year college. What I would do? I would go to community college to earn a certificate in administrative work or paralegal or medical office assistant so I could have a decent day job. I'd also take classes offered through that college's continuing education department (often overlooked) on writing, marketing, business, and website design/construction. All of these things would be far more useful to me as a writer AND give me skills that would make me desirable to hire.

Sadly, I only learned these things after I left college and took a good look at my life. I realized I was squandering my time and that I had wasted it following someone else's dream. The irony? My mother went to college the same time as me, for social work, graduated in 2015, and she's been unable to find a job in her field. She is experiencing now what I tried to tell her years ago about college and the job market. I, on the other hand, have found a day job that pays decently and doesn't stress me too badly, so I can write all I want. I'm more focused on my writing than I've ever been, I plan to finish my work in progress by the end of November, and am happier than I've ever been. I just wish I didn't have that $50,000 debt hanging over my head. And I wish I'd had this epiphany sooner.

So here is my advice for young writers who are thinking about college now:

Think about what you really want to do with your life. Sit down, take out a piece of paper or open a blank document, and write it all down. Everything, even half-formed scraps of plans and ideas. No parents or friends or well-meaning naysayers hanging over your shoulder, just you. Do you want to publish your books? Or do you want to work in publishing as an editor or agent? Do you want to teach? Finding out what you really want is the first step. Making it happen is the second.

Once you've figured out what it is you want, work on making it happen. For example: if you want to be a novelist and traditionally publish your books, start thinking about a day job. Writing is a second job, a side hustle, that won't earn you money right away. You need something to pay the bills, but you also don't want a job where you'll be so emotionally/mentally drained that you won't be able to put pen to paper. After all, if you want to publish something, you have to write it first.

If you want to self-publish, start doing research about editors, book cover artists, marketing, business strategies, and, of course, write your book. Self-publishing is like being a small business owner, you need a variety of skills to do so successfully. Also think about a day job, because, again, you have to pay the bills and you need steady income to do so.

Inversely, if you want to write as a hobby and not as a career: take writing classes through online places like SkillShare or through your local community college. Take these classes on the side and pursue what career you want as your main objective.

Think about what you want your end goal to be. Do you want to make a living as a writer? Do you want your books on the shelves of your local bookstores? Do you want to put your book in as many readers' hands as possible? Then research on how to draw up a business plan and account for things such as budget, upfront costs, and long term plans. (Again, see where the business skills come in?)

Research the fuck out of the writing industry. Find out all you can about publishing, writing craft, agents, marketing trends, and how it works. Get involved in online writing communities through Facebook or your local writing group. Having support as a writer is paramount. Yes, family and friends can be supportive, but nobody understands a writer like another writer. No one can help build your career like a fellow writer, either.

It won't be easy. Naysayers are everywhere and when people see you're following your dream when they didn't have the courage to? They are going to tear you down. They will do everything to make you doubt yourself, when as a writer, you already doubt yourself every time you put pen to paper or words on a screen. Because you have courage and they don't. You have the courage to say, “No. That is your idea, your dream. This is what I want” when they never did. So before doing anything, before even making a decision about college, find your community first. Find people who will have your back when things get rough. Because I've learned that if even one person believes in you unconditionally, it makes all the difference in the world. And while college may provide that community in some aspects, it's not the only place to find it.

College provided me with ample opportunities to learn, both good and bad. I learned Japanese and took an entire class about manga. I didn't really need that writing and money class. I've lost all 4 years I spent learning French and while I read a lot of the old classics, I will never pick up Jane Eyre or Faulkner again. And don't even get me started on the creative writing workshops offered by 4-year colleges. That's a rant for another post.

You don't need college to be a writer. Just by putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, you ARE a writer. So, before you fill out that college application, before you consider plunging yourself into life-crippling debt, stop and think: is this what I want? Will my experience at college be worth it? Do I absolutely need this in order to write? Question everything. College can be a wonderful experience, full of learning and friendships and expanding your horizons, but it can also be a huge boulder that comes with an even larger price tag.

Thanks for reading, look for new posts on Tuesdays, share and reblog if you like this one, and until next time, dear readers, it's lights out at the lookout.

#Laurine Bruder #writing #college #writing and college #questions about college #my experience #writing advice #slice of life

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