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emmeraude · 2 months

Text

when i look at you

— k. ayato.

synopsis: they say drunk thoughts are sober thoughts. ayato, intoxicated by the alcohol from the earlier party, finally takes the courage to confess that to him, you are more than a political partner. to him, this marriage is more than an arranged proposal. why can’t you see how fervently he attempts to make this marriage work? why won't you ever look his way? when did the walls of your relationship become too steep to climb up? how did you two end up taking the longer, rockier road of your relationship?

w.c: 4,866 oops

additional tags: female reader, arranged marriage, pining sort of? definitely slow burn, and drunk ayato bc i headcanon him as one who is clingy when drunk 😋

notes: its sooo so hard to format the centered ones 😭 if its not properly centered on your device im sorry to you and to ur family 😭🙏 lol. cross posted in both ao3 and tumblr. enjoy!

I loved you even in my ignorance.

I loved you when I didn’t even know.

I just love you.

“Never will I ever fall for you. Remember that. This marriage is solely for strengthening the political alliances of our families,” you remembered Ayato’s first words on the night of your consummation all too well.

Under the iron facade of a picture-perfect political marriage, you know of the things yet unseen behind the curtains. It was far from ideal, seeing how neither of you had let the walls surrounding you crumble even the slightest. The emotions you have tried to keep hidden never once slipped into the seeping fragmented cracks of your oh-so-perfect marriage.

When you were betrothed, you two were often the talk of the town—the main gossip among the nobles in Inazuma. It was a given, knowing that both of you were from prominent clans with reputable names. Ayato, the Yashiro commissioner, head of the Kamisato clan, and you, the cold-blooded lady of the Sangonomiya clan, the iron protector of Watatsumi Island. Such a perfect pair was not one to escape the tattletale mouths of those nobles that piqued their curiosity about you two.

For the many years you were betrothed to the esteemed Kamisato Ayato, a bond between the two of you was yet to be established. It was a given, of course. It was arranged, after all.

Yet, often, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were both too distant. Too preoccupied at the thought of this marriage being nothing but political to engage in friendly conversations, too estranged to even feign a sense of camaraderie. You pondered because the two of you silently had a mutual understanding that this political marriage of yours would be a civil one, right? So, why does your relationship seem too far from being civil? It was as if you two were nothing but mere strangers.

Such questions were raised, but of course, you never once mustered the courage to ask your husband any of them. You were too immersed in trying to mask your emotions, thinking this might have been what your husband preferred after all—a quiet, emotionless wife who seemed to be as good as dead. And so, when he attempts to draw closer to you, you avoid it like a plague. You feel disturbed being with him, and you notice that his being around is much of a distraction to you while you are busy guarding your heart. Yet whenever you were about to succumb to your hopeless yearning, you are reminded of his words on your first night.

“Never will I fall for you. Remember that.”

So when he became a tad bit affectionate, you deliberately pushed him away—out of shock and confusion, to say the least. Only he can stir your emotions all at once, although, of course, he was never aware. He must never know, or so you think.

”Wife,” Ayato calls, opening the door and walking straight to your room, each step causing the floor to creak a little.

“You’re home,” you acknowledge his presence, although not at once did you bat an eye. He sighs at your indifference, which is nothing new over the years of your marriage. You were indifferent, dismissive, and cold. He was busy, detached, and always nowhere to be seen. Apart from the necessary appearances to represent your clan in public, you two can only be seen together at night, quietly in your bed chambers, when the day is about to end.

“Wife,” he calls you again as he heads toward the side of the bed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. Trying to conceal both the shock and embarrassment from his sudden actions, you immediately pull away, a slight frown visible on your face.

“We have already practiced before how to act when other people are around. There’s no need to do that here, not when only the two of us are present. What are you doing?” Your brow raises upon asking the question. You place your book on your lap to face him, although you refuse to look him in the eye.

“Must I have a reason to give my wife a kiss of greeting upon my arrival?” This time, it was Ayato raising his brow as if questioning why you asked so.

“No, I just find it unbecoming of you,” you reply coldly, dismissing him entirely before you put your book on the side table.

“Then, I will do this from now on before we part and do our daily chores, if you would let me,” he replies, and you feel a tinge of hesitation present as he utters those words to you.

“Ayato, stop toying me. I will retire for the night,” you hiss, turning your back from him as you lie down on the opposite side of the bed.

“You won’t ask what prompted my sudden change of behavior?” He asks, and never once did you catch the hurt in his voice that night.

“I don’t want to know,” you murmur, covering your face with the blanket as you tuck yourself in. “Good night,” you add before heading to slumber.

Among all the nights you have spent with him, this was one of the coldest ones yet. Too solemn, too quiet to bear, too agonizing to never be able to utter the words you wanted to say to him.

ii.

Ayato hardly ever slept that night.

He kept on pondering where it all went wrong. Perhaps he was too harsh during the first years of your marriage, too busy to attend to his wife. Maybe he, too, was as cold as you were.

He remembers the words of Yae Miko days ago when he was about to head home.

“For someone as esteemed as you are, you can be quite foolish, no?” The Guuji emphasized, leaving Ayato confused about what she might be on. What is she up to?

“Your wife,” she paused, “might have been able to find a more suitable partner had you not been arranged with her.”

I am the most eligible husband candidate in Inazuma. That sly fox is mistaken. He thought.

Those words have never left his mind ever since. It must have been one of the reasons why he had a sudden change of heart. If he thinks he is the most eligible husband, he must show it. What has he been doing all these years?

Believing that the marriage was merely political, Ayato tried his best to remain as distant from you as possible—no monkey business, no attachments are allowed. He ensured that all your small talks would only be about the clan and other political opinions he wanted to hear from you. He was the first to draw the line between the two of you, yet why does he feel hurt seeing how distant you two have become for the past years? Rather than becoming closer, you seemed to have grown farther apart. The lines he drew became a full-fledged wall of boundaries as you two drifted away from each other. That was not what he wanted.

It may be too late to make amends. The damage may have scarred the relationship even before it started. Ayato recalls the first day he saw you, with his face the same as ever, a practiced smile etched on his lips, the smile never once reaching his eyes as he utters the words he never meant to say. He faced several hurdles on the day of your marriage, several assassination attempts and a never-ending interrogation from the nobles who wanted to acquire the power of the Kamisato Clan by forcing their daughters onto him even on the day of his wedding ceremony. It left such distaste in his mouth, seeing how the power-hungry nobles were ever so aggressive and disrespectful. He must have thought back then that maybe you were like them too, hence why he said those words to you with such contempt.

I will never fall for her? Celestia, such an absurd thing to say when my wife is as lovely as could be despite the exuding coldness she gives off, he thinks. Now, he is determined to make this relationship work. He promised himself that despite this being political, he would treat you well. He will give you gifts, spoil you rotten, and perhaps become good allies. However, he has been so preoccupied with work that he has forgotten his wife waiting for him at home. It’s been years, he thought. Such a douchebag I am... He hopes it’s not yet too late to woo you, and he will do everything he can to make those high walls of yours crumble to ashes completely. If he has a face fancied by many, he might ought to put it to good use, right?

However, there was one thing he overlooked. He never noticed it back then, and realization only hits him right now when he eats breakfast with you after many weeks of not eating together.

Not once did you look him in the eye.

Figuratively and literally, he supposed. Was it always this way?

“Wife,” he calls you to get your attention and see whether you’ll look at him. Unsurprisingly, you did not, which caused something in his heart to twinge. Must you be so cold?

“What?”

“Can I have an ounce of your attention?” he asks, his tableware clinking more as he anticipates your undivided attention.

“I’m listening. What is it?” Much to his dismay, you still did not look at him, too focused on the meal in front of you as you ate quietly.

“No. I want you to look at me,” he says, meaning it literally and figuratively.

“Not now, my lord, for I am still eating. Even so, I am all ears. Just what, pray tell, do you want to speak about?”

Ayato sighed defeatedly; even a frown was seen upon hearing you call him “my lord.” He shakes his head, not wanting to be as forward as he was earlier, and decides not to speak anymore, for he thinks it might cause you to push him away even further. He wipes his mouth using the table napkin before him as he finishes his meal. He looks at you once more, noticing a lingering sauce on the side of your lips. Instinctively, he leans to you and wipes them off, startling you. This prompts you to finally, finally look at him. A smirk forms on his lips upon seeing how flustered you look.

“Y-you could have just told me… I can wipe it off myself,” you stammer, a blush creeping down your cheeks. Despite your attempts to hide it, his actions obviously affected you.

“I know. I just want to do it for you,” Ayato says, triumphant at the sight of you blushing because of him. He wants to speak more, perhaps to tease you, but he chose to stay still when he heard nothing from your end.

Silence envelops the room after that. You do not know how to respond to his gestures right now. You are having a hard time deciphering what he wants. Did he purposefully do that because he was paying attention to you? Or is he perhaps touch starved? You quickly brush off these thoughts, thinking they are far from sensible. It’s merely foolish thinking. You believe that the great Kamisato Ayato is far from being like that.

Ayato sighs again, and you swear it was the fourth time he did so during your breakfast. He must have despised the idea of sharing meals with me, you thought to yourself. He continues to look at you, and even without direct eye contact, you know, you feel him staring at you as if he wants to say something.

“I just want to tell you in advance that there will be another social gathering hosted by the Hiiragi clan for all of the nobles in Inazuma,” Ayato speaks once more, trying to divert another topic in hopes of hearing your voice again.

“When will it be held?” You ask, and he rejoices upon hearing how lovely your voice sounds in his ears.

“Three months from now, I suppose,” he replies, his tone calm despite feeling slightly giddy.

Was there a reason why he said it to you so early? Does he want you to prepare meticulously for the party? What does he want? Oh, Celestia. Your husband is so hard to figure out. It makes you think that perhaps you may have known nothing about him at all, which was understandable since the two of you barely strike up any conversations that are not work-related. Still, it left a bad taste in your mouth, knowing you two were estranged from one another despite being married for years.

Ayato, on the other hand, realizes he has come to love you far more than he could ever admit. He would like to ask himself when and how the love started to bloom in his heart, yet he could never pinpoint an exact moment. Was it when he first saw how beautiful you looked on your wedding day? Or was it when he witnessed how you gracefully wield your sword, infused with the faintest touch of electro—a skill that might be unmatched even by the Shogun herself? Was it when he saw you having tea with his dear sister, Ayaka, smiling fondly at her while your pleasant laughter filled the room? He does not know. One thing he learned is that it steadily grew. Patiently, ardently, crushingly so, without him ever knowing. And when he understood it, it had grown too big to ignore. Too overwhelming to hide, so much that oftentimes it seeps into the cracks in his guarded heart whenever you two are together.

He started giving you gifts more frequently than before and started writing letters regarding what he has been up to at work. However, the letters do not get reciprocated, much to his dismay. Perhaps you were so stunned at his gradual changes that you find it hard to keep your usual composed, distant facade, seeing how much he has changed over the past few months. But he understands. He decided to give you all the time you need until you finally respond to him—both to his letters and his feelings. Ayato realized he loved you in the past oh so silently. Perhaps too silent—too hushed for you to ever have known, ever to feel. Slowly, he has learned to love more freely and vocally, even in his simple ways. He has yet to say it, sure, but he wishes his love becomes more piercing and loud for you to know, for you to feel.

iii.

Months passed, and the much-awaited social gathering for the nobles to be hosted by the Hiiragi clan finally arrived. While the servants helped you prepare for the said party, you heard a knock on the door, with smiling Ayato entering. He pause for a moment before walking towards you, reveling as he looks at the beauty in front of him.

“Dear wife, you look dazzling as ever,” your husband marvels, eyeing you from head to toe with his lips a bit open.

“Enough of your bluffing, Ayato. Such a sweet liar you are,” a small chuckle escapes your lips, leaving your husband feeling delighted at the sight as he rushes over to you to take a closer look at your appearance. He gently takes your hand, leaving a light peck on your knuckles.

“Not once did I ever lie to you. You look beautiful,” Ayato looks at you, full of adoration in his eyes. Once you also looked at him, you immediately avoided staring at him for far too long, afraid his beauty might as well entrance you. For while he utters his praises of how beautiful you look, you can’t help but revel his face when you stare at him. He, too, seems as if the gods carved him carefully. Beautiful, crushingly so. He was the epitome of majestic.

The last three months went by like a hurricane. Never once did you imagine you would little by little open your heart to the man before you. For the last few months, you have seen him actively reaching out to you more than before. Still, your heart was guarded, albeit not much more than it was in the past. You see, your relationship progresses to something more than plain civility. The two of you formed a sense of kinship as you got to know more about one another.

Once the party started, you two stuck around each other for a while, then parted ways shortly thereafter to mingle with several nobles separately. It was almost past ten, and having not noticed the time, you searched for Ayato, who was nowhere to be seen. You turn and find Thoma, who is guarding you at the corner. You asked him if he knew your husband’s whereabouts, to which he responded that he was in the other room drinking with the noblemen. You thanked him and asked him to head there with him.

As you open the door, you see your husband sitting with the nobles, holding a cup. There was something different about him, though. You notice his eyes are close to squinting as you walk towards them. You greeted the noblemen shortly and focused your attention on Ayato, who looked like he drank a little alcohol upon seeing the presence of redness on his ear.

“Ayato, goodness…” you mumble to yourself. It was unlikely for him to look drunk like this.

“The wine tastes a bit sweet, so he must have drunk a lot, milady,” Thoma says, and you realize that Ayato likes sweets, which must have been why he drank a lot without knowing that the wine was strong. Ayato opens his eyes, a stern look he tries to make. This prompts you to giggle a bit, seeing how your husband never once softens his look even while being intoxicated.

The ride home was ever so silent. Ayato stares at you piercingly, and you, left not knowing what to do, avoid his gaze as always. After a few while, however, you decide to ask how he is feeling.

“Are you okay?” You ask out of concern since he seemed to be spacing out, which was so unlikely of him.

“I am. My head just feels dizzy,” he murmurs.

“That’s the consequence of drinking a lot,” you teased him, and even though you weren’t looking at him, you felt as though he was rolling his eyes. My, look at that sass, you thought.

“It’s not my fault that the wine is sweet. It almost tastes that of boba tea,” Ayato counters.

“You could have just asked for another sweet beverage similar to boba, Ayato,” you argued once more, obviously amused at his replies.

“I cannot decline the eager requests of the noblemen who surrounded me,” he sighs.

“Must you drink a lot, then?” You raise your eyebrow.

“Heavens, wife. Please stop scolding me. Never did I know I could never win an argument with you,” he sighs again, earning yet another hearty laugh from you in response to what he says. Ah, music to my ears, Ayato thought.

“Alright, alright. I’ll shut up,” you resign in defeat, although your laugh has still yet subsided.

You arrived at the estate shortly after. With the help of Thoma, you hand-in-hand carried your husband to your private chambers. You thank your retainer as he quietly exits.

You prepare a damp towel with a basin filled with water to wash your husband, then carefully undo the kumihimo and try to remove all the layers of his ever-so-thick clothing slowly. He stirs a bit, opening his eyes as he witnesses you caring for him. He sits up, helping you remove his clothes so that he can now wear his night kimono. Now that his upper body was bare and free from any clothes, you wiped his arms, then his chest, and lastly, his neck.

“I can do this on my own…” he murmurs, which seems to be grumbling in your ears.

“I doubt. Someone as pampered as you?” You snorted.

“Oh, come on. Stop attacking me when I’m in such a weak-minded state,” he scoffs, and now you clearly can no longer hide the amusement because of his actions.

You merely chuckle lightly, a sight he revels the most. Abruptly, he pulls you closer to him, head feeling a bit hazy as he takes in your scent. He wraps his arms around you, his body leaning towards yours as your back touches the headboard of your bed.

“Ayato?” You gently tap his cheeks, causing him to lean closer to your touch.

He was silent for a while, with his breath steady and slow, and when you have come to conclude that he perhaps might have fallen asleep, he speaks, making you jolt a bit in surprise.

“Why…” Ayato mumbles to his breath, his head nuzzling to your neck upon sighing with exasperation. Albeit confused, you strive to console him by patting him gently, trying to understand that he must have been far more intoxicated because of the drinks he had earlier.

“Why won’t you look at me?” He says, as if pleading with you to take even just one glance, to take a chance with him.

“Pardon?” You pause for a moment.

“Look at me,” you feel a thread of desperation laced in his voice so soft that it might have threatened your senses, altering your resolve as you try to remain composed.

“I am looking at you now, Ayato,” you answer, facing him to prove your point. However, your eyes never once gazed at his, even now. Try as you may, you can never find a solid explanation of his actions. Upon saying those words, you made an effort to sound as calm as possible, as if trying to soothe your husband, who seemed to be... sulking...?

“No, you know that’s not what I meant,” he groans, causing you to be a bit taken aback. Oh, seeing him frowning and grumbling, such a sight of him you have never witnessed your whole life. Not until now, that is. What in the world did Ayato drink for him to become this sluggish and vulnerable?

“What, then?” You pause for a while, confusion now clearly etched on your face as you look at him.

“Why must you be so cruel? If only you could see how much I devote myself to this marriage. How I’m devoted to... to you…” His voice was somewhat cracked, making it seem as if it was what keeping him up late at night for the past few days.

His words left you bewildered. You blink your eyes a couple of times, feeling your cheeks warming upon realizing what he meant. Oh. You choose to shut your mouth, because the best option you can think about right now is avoiding confrontation. To avoid talking. And you know that’s what you’re good at.

“See? You won’t even respond to me right now…” he purposefully laced his voice with sulking, knowing how it works on you all too well.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say, Ayato,” you admit, sighing as you think that maybe you cannot avoid things forever.

“Your normal response when someone confesses to you should either be a rejection or acceptance, or even an ounce of gratitude will do, my darling wife. Don’t you know that?” Ayato coos. Despite the hint of teasing in his voice, there was also gentleness in it, as if making sure to be patient with whatever response you may give.

“And why is my drunk husband lecturing me about this? For a drunk person, you sure are chatty, no?” You attempt to tease him, which, in return, he merely snorts. He was silent for a while afterwards, and then he spoke again.

“Because I want to know how you feel about me, too…”

You were quiet once more, again taken aback by his straightforwardness. You have known Ayato to be a no-nonsense type of person. He does not like it when people beat around the bush. Despite him being known as a cunning charmer who has the power to entice people with his mere words, he makes sure that his words never lack substance. He especially lets you know his likes and dislikes, and you thought to yourself once that his straightforwardness was what you liked the most, in contrast to you, who have learned to conceal everything even from your husband.

“Ayato, if I may be honest with you… I was ready to live as though I was dead in the first months of our marriage. It was so lonely, you know?” you say to him, which alarmed him as he faced you with a frown.

“Wife…”

“I made my walls too high because I was scared that when you see a fracture of my vulnerability, you might look away and throw me. And knowing that there are a lot of people coveting the position as your wife, I was restless, Ayato, because I know I am replaceable, and you are not,” you paused a bit, feeling something heavy blocked in your throat as you struggle to speak without breaking down. He was about to protest what you said when you stopped him and continued talking.

“A-and why do you think I was that scared? It was because I loved you too, idiot, from the start. I loved you secretly and learned to keep this feeling of mine. Do you know how terrified I am upon imagining you looking at me with disgust if ever you find it out? You uttered in our first meeting that I should never expect any love from you!” Your voice broke a bit as tears finally fell. Ayato promptly cups your face to wipe away the tears cascading down your face.

“Shh… I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you. I will make sure I can. Please let me. I love you…” Ayato murmurs as he gently rubs your back, all while hugging you. Your soft sniffles are heard across the room, and it pains him to hear those from you. He likes it when you speak; he likes to listen to your voice, which he thinks was a rarity back then. However, never did he imagine he would come to hear your cries because of him, and it broke his heart, too. He looks up, staring at your face, and kisses your tears away. He kisses your forehead, then nuzzles to your neck as the two of you finally drifted to sleep afterwards with you cradled in his arms.

As soon you feel the sun’s glaring light, you gently open your eyes. You see your husband at your side with you two facing each other, and immediately, embarrassment fills up your thoughts upon recalling how much you cried to him last night. Embarrassing! I hope he was too drunk to remember what I said last night!

Your wishes were unheard, however, as he stirs awake shortly after you do. Ayato opens his eyes, immediately searching yours the moment he does so. The first thing he did was to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, a grin plastering his lips upon seeing your red face. He shakes his head while touching your face as if reading your mind.

“If you think I have forgotten our conversations last night, you are wrong, my darling wife. I shall embed it in my mind for the rest of my life.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes in return, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. He will always ever be glad to see a new side of you.

“I know you love me,” he teases more, the smile on his face never once faded. He kisses your forehead first, then your cheeks, then finally, your lips. Despite being a bit starstruck, you still spoke to him to keep up with your bantering.

“Fair reminder that it was you who confessed first, dear husband. You love me, too,” you retorted, feeling snug at your comeback as you smirked at him.

“Oh, no one can deny that. I love you, and I yearn for you most ardently, my lovely wife.”

This time, you are sure the two of you will now walk the path at the same pace. No more secrets you need to conceal, no more running away despite things getting overwhelming. Lastly, no more looking down in hopes of avoiding his gaze. You know you can now erase the lines you ridiculously drew at the start of your marriage. You are now well rested, knowing the high walls you two built to protect yourselves are crumbling slowly but surely, steadily, and beautifully.

Ayato is at peace, too, knowing how you finally learned to look at him. Moreso at the fact that you looked at him now oh so lovingly. And as such, the two of you are now finally listening to the beat of your hearts both of you stubbornly tried to avoid.

istg posting in tumblr is hard 😭 this is my first time here lmaooo salute to all writers here omg. i hope all ayato stans (me) are having a feast at the surge of ayato fics here in tumblr we r blessed 🔥

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x you #kamisato ayato #arranged marriage au #how to tags lol

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mishacakes · 11 months

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how do you connect to your character? like how do get to know them so well? how do you pick out their likes, dislikes, habits and those itty bitty bits about them? I've been struggling to do that for sooo many of my ocs, and i'm also at a lost of how to design them. like i once had a clear idea of what kind of character they are, but i wanted to change them a bit, make them a little better, and i feel like I've lost that character and that character i'm working on doesn't exists, no matter how much i loved them and enjoyed writing an drawing them. this has happened with every single character i made and it just makes me think that i may not be cut out for drawing or writing characters. i look up to you so i thought of asking you for help

sry for the long rant idk wat im doing

HELLO HELLO THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! So basically I took this question and turned it into a 1.6k word essay on writing characters and how I like to do it, so, uh, hope you enjoy!! and hope it helps!

OK!! character writing. How do you do it? or, well, how do I do it. I’ve got a few methods that help me out the most and are the most fun for me to think about. Here’s my big secret, if it’s not fun I don’t do it. I’m not here to do homework I’m waaayyyy out of school. I’m a legal adult. I pay my taxes. I’m not gonna do something that doesn’t give my brain the good fun juice. Anyways. My methods are: symbols, archetypes, and character inspiration. I use all these to figure out the CORE of a character, their very beating heart, and most importantly, what haunts them. Everything about a character, in my opinion, comes from this core and their ghost. Their habits, their fears, their joys, their coping mechanisms. So long as you have a clear grasp on their heart, you won’t go astray. Let’s dive into it! The characters I’m going to be using to describe how I use these methods are Alice and others characters from my webcomic—namely Edith, Hatter, and Rougina—and Tomiko (you know her you love her, catgirl supreme).

Symbols! I love using symbols, they’re something that can describe a character through metaphor, even without going into detail about their whole backstory and habits. Tomiko’s symbols are lanterns (specifically light), cats, ghosts/yokai, shapeshifting, and gold. They all work to further her character as a rough around the edges monster cat with a heart of gold, who uses shapeshifting as a method (both literally and metaphorically) to mold herself into what others need her to be. Alice’s symbols are hearts, eyes, and flesh in general. Try picking one general symbol (the ocean, the forest, the city), and see how specific you can get from there. Or pick a god or goddess that resonates with your character and see what symbols are used for them. Rougina (the antagonist in my webcomic) is a war goddess fallen from grace, and is symbolized with land and volcanoes, so I’ve used volcanic plants to evoke her. Personally I also love going through the tarot for symbols, assigning a tarot card to characters (of the major arcana) is a fun exercise. Which leads us nicely into our next method:

Archetypes! The tarot deck’s Major Arcana is pretty much only archetypes. The Empress as the Mother. The Magician as the Wise Mentor. The Tower as The Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen Oh Jesus Shit. These can help a lot with who your character is. I’m extremely storytelling oriented, so it helps me knowing What Role a character serves in the story they inhabit. Another thing I love in archetypes in the Zodiac. Yes, I am an astrology bitch. The whole reason I love talking about my methods is my Sag rising, I love giving my wisdoms. But astrology can be used for writing, and not just for excusing and not reflecting on shit behavior (can’t help being a gemini!). The zodiac is FILLED WITH ARCHETYPES!!! From elements to how they function! The four elements (you A:TLA bitches know this), and three modalities. If you’re interested please watch Eugene’s Rank King video, it’s very informative on the signs. Also many symbols! For example, Alice is a Taurus—May 4, Alice Liddell’s birthday—so she’s pretty stubborn while also loving creature comforts. Tomiko’s birthday is August 23, making her a Virgo, so she likes being precise in her work. More archetypes you can look for are DnD classes! I love using that to design costumes. One of Edith’s recent costumes is very wizard inspired, since that’s the class I see her having as she’s very studious and driven. Heck, all of Alice and the Nightmare is derived from the character archetypes of the Alice in Wonderland characters! Rougina is specifically the Red Queen, NOT the Queen of Hearts!! The confusion started with the 1951 Disney animated movie when the two characters were merged!! Lewis Carroll himself said the two were different! The Queen of Hearts is an “embodiment of ungovernable passion” and the Red Queen is “the concentrated essence of all governesses”!! GOD!!! Tim Burton meet me in the fucking pit you’ll pay for your alice crimes. anyways.

Archetypes help a lot in costumes too, figuring out what kind of fashion they’d like to wear. You can start broad and get more specific with it (like going from a wizard type character to a wizard character with steampunk themes). Fashion is just an extent of character. What are they comfy in? Are they confident in their body? What colors do they like? Bright high fashion or simple dark sweaters? Ryoko Kui is a master of character design I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend checking out her work.

Another method I like using, specifically for Alice and the Nightmare characters, is what I call the “three trait method”. When I was in middle school we did a production of Alice in Wonderland (I was the White Knight), and too many girls auditioned for Alice. So the director’s solution was to split the character into three parts, and assigning each part to an actor. Her temper, her intelligence, and her innocence, all used in different scenes. Now I use that to think about my own Alice character, except with “polite, temper, and curious”. Edith’s keywords are “nervous, tactical, and intelligent”. Hatter’s are “kind, enthusiastic, and intuitive”. Using keywords can help figure out how they’d react in a situation, what side of them would shine the brightest. Hatter’s want to help everyone is his kindness, but overstepping his bounds can be attributed to his enthusiasm. Edith can know what path to take in a pinch, but her nervousness can freeze her in place. Reading the source material helps a lot with Alice characters too, which brings us to our final point:

Character inspiration!! The art of taking things you like and shoving them into your own characters and stories. DISCLAIMER THO!!! If you take things without really EXAMINING what about them you like, WHY you like them, and how you’d like to evoke that same love in the things you make, the interpretations can come off as shallow. (for more on this subject, watch HBomberguy’s RWBY video essay, specifically the section on “anime homework”)

Tomiko’s biggest inspirations are Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi, April Ludgate from Parks and Rec, Power and Reze from Chainsawman, San from Princess Mononoke, and Mei from LMK. It’s a good cocktail of aloof, biting, vicious, weird, fierce, loving, and bright. Figuring out what I love about the characters and what I want to write in a character like that helps a lot in writing Tomiko. It’s also really fun in a sense for screenshot redraws and memes.

Music is also a HUUUUUUGE source of inspiration for me, I love making playlists. And even as playlists can change as characters grow and change, having a couple of core songs still helps me ground to that character’s center. For Tomiko it’s “Make Them Gold” by CHVRCHES, and “Nice Girl” by Ashnikko. Alice’s is “Headlock” by Imogen Heap and “Demons” by Hayley Kiyoko, Edith’s is “Warrior” by Kimbra, and Hatter’s is “Dementia” by Owl City.

Ok, we’ve gotten though symbols, archetypes, and made a couple of banger playlists. Next is something that can help write your character, the Big Lie. The thing that keeps them up at night. Their biggest fear, their ghost, what haunts them. What’s holding them back from their goals? What do they need to overcome? That can be as central to their theme as any symbolism. For Tomiko it’s the lie that her emotions don’t matter, only what she can do to be of service to her mother. Her arc is about overcoming her dismissing her own emotions and learning to not run away from the people who she truly cares for. Alice dismisses the literal ghost that is haunting her believing that that will let her have a normal life. Edith pushes down abilities that come naturally to her for fear that she’ll be exiled, not just from society, but the world. Rougina believes she must burden the world’s problems on her own shoulders with no one’s help. The outer character and the inner ghost can reflect, mirror, and inform each other.

Now, listen, sometimes characters are hard to get to know! Tomiko was lol. Quinn was for a looong time. And in times like this, I just, let them be. I listen to some music to get inspired, and let them tell me about themselves when they feel like it. And they will, it just take a little while. And a few dozen quick exploration drawings. But they come through. Also, try not to get bogged down with habits and little details of their character, keep their core in mind, what their heart is. Start broad and get specific. That way, if you feel like you’ve lost your way or the character feels different to you, recenter yourself at their heart and go from there. Or, if you find that their center no longer fits, don’t be afraid to change it! Characters are meant to be fun! First and foremost!! I make characters cause I like writing and storytelling, and drawing little comic for fun and me time. Sometimes characters stick around, sometimes they fall by the wayside. You really have to find what sparks joy, and chase your bliss!

So as long as you have your character’s essence in your hands, and you WANT to keep working on them and drawing them, there’s really no wrong way to go. This whole essay I’ve given is just a set of tools that works for ME, and I HIGHLY encourage you to find stuff that works for you! I really really hope that all this has made sense and isn’t just the ramblings of a madman. Good luck and happy charactering!!

#meesh blabs #misha writings #character writing #happy reading and happy writing!#THANKS FOR ASKING <3

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xxlady-lunaxx · 9 months

Text

I don't want to | {ShinoGiyuu}

Theme: Fluffy angst?

Note: Prompt—"I can't fall in love with you. I don't want all the pain that comes with it." I love angst prompts- This one fit Giyuu well sooo

Manga spoilers kinda 🤩

and i think yk what that means~

Giyuu was in love. For the first time in so many years. And he couldn't seem to get himself out of this stupid thing. Whenever he saw her, his eyes would light up and butterflies lit up his chest, beating his heart faster than it should be. He tried suppressing it, tried everything.

He tried writing out everything annoying about her, everything he hated, but he kept drawing blank after writing the first word, not knowing anything about her that was negative or bad.

He tried ignoring her but he found himself constantly wandering back to her, gazing at butterflies because they reminded him of her.

He tried convincing himself that love was a waste of time, it wouldn't help. He made himself think about everything that could go wrong but his mind wandered back to the fact that he loved her—he loved her too much to care.

It was hard.

He wanted her. Too much.

But he couldn't have her. He didn't want... to endanger her. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her.

So all he could do was try—try—to not gain her love back. He wanted it so badly but he couldn't bring himself to do it. If he couldn't fall out of love, might as well make sure she didn't love him.

So he ignored her. Acted cold, uncaring. Even went out of his way to talk to every other Hashira except her. Even Sanemi.

But... she kept coming back. She was persistent.

Her smile was curious and asking, wondering why he wouldn't talk to her. She would ask him questions, pester her day after day, not caring that he wouldn't talk back to her. Because he never told her to leave. Even if he acted like this, he'd never once told her to leave.

He didn't want to. He couldn't make himself shout at her, or say anything mean. So he stayed quiet.

And yet she persisted. She didn't stop. Never did.

He loved that about her. He wished he didn't.

And one day... one day, she told him something. Something that made him freeze up, his mind drawing blank, scared. No, not scared. But his heart raced and his face flushed and he turned to look at her, actually, physically acknowledge her.

"What?"

She smiled. "I like you." She said it so simply but to his ears it was a melody, a song. She spoke like an angel, her smile and her eyes and her... everything. It was angelic.

He didn't know what to say. He stared at her for a long time, trying to think of something.

But then she turned, humming to herself, and skipped off. She didn't seem disappointed by his lack of response.

Perhaps his appearence had been obvious that he repricated her feelings.

And he was left there, by himself, staring in wonder at the girl he loved so dearly. The one who had just told him that she loved him.

He found himself falling deeper in love.

When she spoke to him, he would give her a slight smile or a nod. Would respond to her questions with a short assent or a shake of the head. He wanted her to be happy. He didn't want her to think he liked her, though she probably guessed. So he didn't speak. He only... acknowledged her.

Which seemed to be enough for her for she began talking a lot more, eating lunch with him when she could and taking her time to give him things, small gifts.

He began giving some back, feeling almost guilty if he didn't.

They wrote letters.

He kept his short and careful, not wanting her to think anything of them. Hoping she wouldn't mind if he didn't write anything so elaborate or exciting as her own.

It was something he began looking forward to.

She noticed.

She asked him, one day, something. Something that made him freeze so similarly to that one day but in a way that wasn't quite so wonderful.

"Do you like me?"

He couldn't say yes. He couldn't nod. If he did, she was bound to die. Everyone he got close to died. Because of him. He was always so incapable of helping. Saving.

Somehow, he saved people's lives. Everyone's lives except the people that mattered most to him.

He just stared at her. And for a long moment, he didn't know what to do.

She looked confused, not able to read his expression.

And then she left.

She looked disappointed. Her posture wasn't the lively one it had been the other day.

It was almost sad, confused.

She stopped seeing him as much.

She began eating with him less and less. Her gifts were less thought out and she just handed them to him with a short, "Hello" and then a "goodbye."

Her letters drew shorter and shorter until they were only a few sentences.

He didn't know what to do. He'd fucked up somehow and he didn't know what the hell he had to do.

He tried talking to her more.

His letters were filled with apologies, his gifts were flowers and chocolates suddenly, little notes of 'I'm so sorry,' again and again and again.

When he got hurt, Aoi was put to the task of helping him.

She never did it anymore. Her previous smiles and laughter and talk weren't given to him anymore. He would try to offer them back to her but his attempts probably seemed pitiful compared to how wonderful she'd been. She still was. But not to him anymore.

He would catch her smiling as she spoke to someone else. But as soon as her eyes landed on him, her whole expression seemed to melt away. She would suddenly look weary, tired. As if she didn't know what to do.

He felt like as she always looked around him too.

And then something happened.

Something that made him realize that he should've told her. Should've explained everything.

He stood above her grave.

It was raining; fitting to his mood. At least it hid his tears.

He stared at the stone with her name etched in it, looking stupid and horrible compared to her lovely smiles, her beautiful looks.

But they were all gone. All of what was left of them were in his memories, replayed over and over, each day getting dimmer and dimmer with age.

He placed the flowers he'd brought down. Wisteria. Purple like her eyes. Representing the flowers she'd constantly use when she'd been alive.

And then roses. Red like the love he'd felt for her, red like the danger that flashed before her a moment before her death. Representing the flowers he'd given to her as he'd tried to get her to talk to him again.

He stared at the plants. They were dead too. He'd cut them off of their original bushes and now they were dead. Because of him.

He sank to a crouch in front of her gravestone, his eyes fluttering close.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, the words he'd spoken and written and begged of her to understand for weeks before her death. "I'm so sorry, Shinobu."

{Word count: 1193}

Anyone notice how I didn't use their names at all except in the very first word and very last?<3

If you did then wow bc I was half way through writing this when I realized I'd not used either of their names throughout most of it-

I loved writing this :0

dk why LMFAO

i rarely write ShinoGiyuu so

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cookieswithay · 9 months

Text

🕷"No...no way."🕸 Part 4

1610 Miles Morales x fem reader

•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•

• Miles dreamt about alot of things that night. His parents, you, and most importantly, what he had to do. It was weird though. He didn't see his success, but he didn't see a loss either. He was just...foreshadowing..? It was weird but it felt familiar...

• Has he done this before...?

• "Miles."

• ...Someone was shaking his shoulder. Miles, of course, pushed the hand of whoever was touching him, but they persisted. That put a frown on his face. What the h?

• "Go away."

• He grumbled. The person sighed. (Kinda like the "I'm gonna lose my patience" sigh)

• "We have to save Jeff."

• That caught his attention. He sprang up.

• "How do you know about my da-!?"

• He froze. In front of him was his undead uncle. Miles was perplexed. Until, he remembered the previous night. He's in his spider's dimension, uncle Aaron is super alive and this dimensions Miles is tipping on the scale of jerk and you've changed slightly...Crap. Realizing he just shouted at his dad's brother, he sinks back into the blanket.

• "I'm sorry."

• The young hero mumbled. Uncle Aaron chuckled in his throat. It's rare when he sees his nephew being polite. Let alone timid. But, there's still stuff to do. He can ponder the differences later.

• "It's cool, come on."

• "We got work to do."

• That caught the anomaly's attention. He let the blanket fall back on his lap.

• "Work to do?"

• Wait, wasn't the plan gonna be relayed when everyone was present? Matter of fact, it's still dark out. ...What time is it!?

• "You'll see when we get there."

• His uncle replied, while tossing him a jacket.

• "We leave in fifteen."

• Miles sat quietly in the car while the ex Prowler grabbed some things from his apartment. Once again, this felt crazy. His uncle Aaron had a purple convertible, this one has a truck.

• (Which is still purple...seriously how did he NEVER know his uncle was the prowler? They're so many signs.)

• He's also...jaded. He's not mean or anything. Just quiet and pretty short with answers...but, that's okay. Miles can tell from all his greys that life's been tough...probably a lot tougher than his life. The driver door opened, making the him jump.

• Of course, it was just uncle Aaron. He hopped in the driver's seat.

• "Ready?"

• Still frazzled, Miles nodded.

• The drive was...quiet. Well, sorta. There was music on, but zero talking. Oddly though, it was nostalgic. Reminded him those drives when his Uncle and his dad fought before Miles stayed over. (He never caught the arguments, but he always knew something was up.) Silent with the calm sound of wheels grinding against the pavement. BUT, this silence is getting pretty heavy. He's starting to feel like he's breathing too loud.

• Miles cleared his throat.

• "So, um..."

• His uncle looked over, his gaze making Miles feel super small.

• (Is this how uncle Aaron was with other people!?)

• "What's up with the prowler thing? With...Miles and all that jazz?"

• The truck was filled with heavy silence again.

• "Ask a different question."

• Uncle Aaron replied, flatly. 1610 Miles swallowed hard. Okay...that was a touchy subject.

• "Sooo, the truck,"

• "It's purple and black. Where'd...you get it painted?"

• The uncle chuckled. So, the boy chooses the car instead? Must've stood out to 'im.

• "A friend of mine did it."

• "I had to pay her still but it was half off so..."

• Miles nodded. That's...kinda interesting. More questions could be asked but...nah. His heart resides on paper, not wheels.

• "You draw?"

• The teen twitched at the question.

• "Huh?"

• "Do you like to draw? Like my Miles."

• Uncle Aaron asked again, this time using a fuller sentence. Miles couldn't stop the smile forming on his face. Finally, a subject he can get behind!

• "Yeah, alot."

• He replied.

• "I use highlighters and pens normally, but recently I've been trying to go digi-tal."

• Miles snickered. (He's kinda lying about the digital thing, Ganke only let's him use his tablet twice a week.)

• His (kinda) uncle listened quietly as his (kinda) nephew ramble on about his hobby. It's lowkey adorable. His Miles does the same thing. Except, his nephew is strictly pencils and black pens. Like one of those...manga artists? Slowly, the truck came to a stop. Miles looked through the window.

• This looks like...

• "Alchemex?"

• He said outloud.

• "You got it."

• Uncle Aaron replied getting out of the car. The Spiderman couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. Alchemex...has alot of memories he rather forget about. Suddenly, another glitch hit. The burning and atom decaying lasted only a few minutes, but it felt like a hour. He took a deep breath and climbed out of the truck. Uncle Aaron was waiting at the entrance, analyzing him as usual.

• "Sorry, I, um...hit the roof."

• Miles nervously snickered. Yeah right. He hasn't felt any roofs or balls since he got this hairstyle. And he's been rocking it since he was 10. His hair absorbs ALL impacts. His kinda uncle didn't reply and pushed open the doors. The teen immediately pulled out a flashlight. The sun is coming up, but it's not showing in Alchemex!

• "Don't fall behind."

• "Okay."

• The two of them slowly ventured through the building. It looked abandoned and destroyed. Like, some beast escaped in here. Wait- There wasn't a Peppy playtime incident here, was it!?

• (Get the reference?)

• But, now that he looks at all the spray paint...it's just abandoned. And the destruction...is still unknown, but he's sure as hell it wasn't a fuzzy, blue monster with red lips.

• "So...Alchemex. Why?"

• Pfft! Why'd he ask the question like that? His past uncle remained silent until they got into what looks like the collider room.

• (Seriously, who destroyed the place?)

• "Back when I still prowled,"

• His uncle (randomly) said.

• "I picked up a little on how this thing works."

• "Maybe the collider can send you back."

• Miles gasped. That was a perfect idea! The collider can bring and return people to different dimensions! Why didn't he think about this earlier!? But...what's his dimension?

• "This could work, but,"

• He looked at all the broken computers and desks.

• "How would we get any data to the collider?"

• For the first time, Uncle Aaron smiled at him.

• "I'll leave that to you two."

• 'You two'. Who's the other person?

• "Anyway, we came here to get the layer of the land."

• The ex prowler said, back to business.

• "What tools we need. If the colliders still working. And how to send you home in one piece."

• Miles snickered.

• "I know we need some new computers."

• Uncle Aaron shook his head and put his foot on the rail.

• "Don't all the kids have computers these days?"

• He wasn't wrong there. Ganke has dang near three. His uncle's eyes were on him again.

• "You got your little suit on, right?"

• Miles nodded. After everything that happened, he wouldn't feel safe without it!

• "Good,"

• He tied a black rope around his leg and shot a gun attached to it.

• (Uncle Aaron's doing this, btw)

• "Let's scope the joint."

• And he jumped off, swinging around the white room. It's...actually pretty cool to see his uncle in action, when he's not trying to claw his throat out. And even though this isn't his universe or his true uncle. Swinging around with him is a dream come true.

•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•

I'm proud and surprised I'm still doing this series. I'm usually terrible at consistency, but this series has a hold on me🤣 I have an announcement on the 31st, so I hope to see everyone there!

•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•

•°○°•●•°(Pt1, Pt2, Pt2 1/2, Pt3)°•●•°○°•

#spiderman imagine #miles x female reader #miles morales #spiderman across the spiderverse #atsv #miles 42 #uncle aaron #part four #this series will not be forgotten #thanks for tuning in #thanks for the support #see you soon #stay cool #spiderman beyond the spiderverse

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angelmichelangelo · 2 months

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Hey there!! :)

Saw your post, and decided to pop in!

Sooo I have a few questions.

1. Who is your favorite TMNT brother to write/draw?

2. I read that you work as a nurse! First off, thank you for your service 💙 Second, do you have any favorite whump/hurt fics that you’ve written? And does it bother you when you read medical inaccuracies in fics? ;)

3. Do you have any pets?

4. (As a nurse) what would you say is peoples biggest phobias when it comes to being in a hospital setting? And how do you usually help them? (If you’re not comfortable with answering this question, that’s totally fine and there’s no pressure!)

5. What’s one of your favorite memories that always makes you smile or even shed a happy tear? :)

Hope you’re doing well!! 😁

~ Melissa

hi and thanks for the ask :3

for sure either mikey or leo. i have a real soft spot for them, and so naturally i kind of just.. unleash all my feelings onto them making them both my personal stress ball haha :')

thank you! ik i said i hate it a majority of the time but it does indeed have it's perks :) i recently wrote a 2k3 pre-sainw fic where the boys had to chop mikey's arm off and whilst i've never done anything of the sort irl (that would be. traumatising to say the least lol) i do enjoy the nitty gritty bits of real hurt/comfort. i did consider working on ER for a bit buuuttt im actually a huge baby and get stressed VERY easily so a high paced setting like that is not good for me! and for medical inaccuracies, i can get over it pretty quick unless its like JARRINGLY obvious, im cool with fic just being fic yknow:) its stressful trying to write something 100% accurate when youre not totally sure about the material itself haha

yup i sure do!! i have two dogs and a cat that are all the best babies in the world !! <33 im about to move out into my own apartment with my cat, as she's mine and im debating on whether to get her a little orange friend or not just to keep her company when im at work

i mostly work in elder care! which brings its challenges and also means i work with a lotttt of dementia patients. i'd say the worst thing for them is the lost feeling they get? because hospitals and such places can be scary! and then when you're already confused and lost? extra scary:( it really breaks my heart when i'll be talking to an elderly patient that does NOT wanna be there, and all they want is their mama :( i actually was gonna write a 2k3 splinter fic about dementia just cos im surrounded by it almost daily, but i wasn't sure how many people would be interested in a fic like that, so i just kind of abandoned it haha but yeah, trying to reassure people that they're safe and in the right place is a Lot especially when they're so lost within themselves. and sundowning is my biggest Bitch ever lol

oooohh best memory?? very random but when i was like 5 years old and me and my grandpa sat in his kitchen on a really cold, wet winters morning and he made me chocolate oatmeal and we sat and ate it together. he passed a few years after and i didn't get to see him much as we lived in separate countries but it's a really strong, happy memory in my head that i think of all the time when i have something warm and yummy on cold, sad days :)

#this got depressing in parts OOPS #but thank you sm for the ask :D #ask

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chemdisaster · 7 months

Note

fandom asks ✨ 3, 5, 7, 10, 15, 23, 24 (if it's too many, just choose the ones you wanna do!)

hi, thanks for the ask!! and no, it's not too many at all, i love answering questions

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

any woman characters in anything tbh. this is in part due to how underrepresented women are in media, and i will also freely admit to being slightly influenced by the misogyny in our society and in fandom spaces, but i never really paid that much attention to female characters until i started actively participating in fandom. i do hope that i've gotten over that flaw in my perception, and will keep getting over it as my understanding of people and my characterisation in my own writing improves and develops

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

for hamilton - the very popular idea that ham is afraid of storms. i don't care that it's overdone or whatever, i love me some good anxiety and ptsd and i love me some good ham angst. for mcyt - i haven't actually read mcyt fics in a while, but i love the idea that all the life people remember every game across servers. it has soo much potential for angst in my opinion

7. your favourite tropes to read/write/draw

ohh man. hurt/comfort is everything to me, specifically the kind where one character cries in front of the other. hurt no comfort is also great, and there's also a specific one that i'll try to sum up in a concise way - character suffering in silence while everyone around them slowly begins to notice that something's wrong, all eventually culminating in them having some kind of breakdown in front of all these people in which the extent of their misery is revealed. this one's all i need in my life tbh, i wish there were more fics with this scenario

10. a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

well. i confess that you came to mind first. like, your fics? i've been afraid to read some of them because i know that i'll get destroyed (/pos). the founding fucks? i have so much fun there. i'll admit that i'm rather lonely and coming off a messy friend-divorce, so having people to talk to and have fun with and be inspired by has been quite great. also you're just so nice? and you introduced me to 1776? and whump: the musical has done wonders for my creativity, i've had so much fun coming up with all the prompts and writing them, and it's kind of made me realise - i can write whatever i want. like, it doesn't have to be a long multiple k words fic, or have a whole story - i can literally write one specific scene. i can write for fun, fully, without worrying about my perfectionism kicking me in the ass. which, my perfectionism does tend to lead to masterpieces, but not everything has to be a masterpiece, and whump: the musical has played a big role in me realising that. so, uh, yeah!! thank you so much for brightening my fandom experience!

15. the character that always makes you smile

well, to be honest, this changes - whoever i'm hyperfixating on at the time makes me smile. but some of my favourite characters are 1776 adams, ham, hewlett in turn, and also watching a mcyt's new video never fails to make me smile

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

all the musicals in whump: the musical tbh. i've added them to my List™ (that thing is sooo long help /lh)

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

it's provided me an outlet for my creativity and a place i can go when real life gets to be too much. additionally, my special interest is humans and their emotions, personalities, particularly their misery - so fandom plays right into that. and also some experiences i've had with certain people while part of fandom have taught me a lot about friendship, people pleasing, trusting people and learning how to interact with people in general. and while those experiences did hurt, i'm ultimately grateful for the stronger and better person i've become as a result

ask game

#askdisaster #damn this one's a long one-

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sword-dad-fukuzawa · 10 months

Note

For the Ask Game: 3, 5, 13, 15, 17, 18, 19, 21, 25, 27.

hi nonnie !! ty !! omg so many !!

writer asks

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Recently? Probably "apostate baptisms." It's the most visceral and inspired of all my Trigun fics published so far just because it's got my favorite lines in it :) it made me feel many things to write it.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Man I think sometimes about writing a full "no Big Fall" AU for the twins where they're raised as Earth Federation soldiers and grow up as Chronica and Domina's seniors but that's waaaaay too much work. Maybe someday I'll do a oneshot.

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

If it's for a zine or it's a longfic that I'm obligated to finish? I outline and brainstorm. Anything else gets vomited straight into the doc. Organically!

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Prophesy, typically. Visions. References to idioms that come together in my brain in dreams. When that fails I google Bible quotes to reference or I end up referencing some of my favorite poetry :)

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

OH MY GOD yeah okay so I have learned sooo much about firearms just because Trigun is. Tri-gun. And Trigun cares a lot about firearm accuracy and how guns work and gun models that I also end up trying to recreate that accuracy, which means I hit up my partner for his infodumps. Did you know that sometimes a magazine can double feed so the gun tries to shoot two bullets and they kinda get jammed between the mag and the chamber? Because I didn't.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Vash feels his face scrunch up, like he’s about to cry—and he doesn’t want to cry, because he’s done enough crying, but he can’t help it. Big tears well up at the corner of his eyes and drip down his face. The slow slide of them over his cheeks tickles in an obscene way. “Because,” he says. “You always make me into the worst version of myself, the kind of person I can’t stand. You make me into someone unrecognizable.” “I recognize you,” Knives whispers. And strong arms come around Vash, wet and shaking, still, but strong. They tug him closer until his face is buried in the crook of his brother’s neck. “Vash.” “Because this is the version of me you always see,” says Vash, trying not to sob. “You make me cruel, Knives. You make me cruel and desperate, and you make me do things I’d never even think of otherwise.”

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

They’re lying awake one night when Vash opens his eyes and says “Hey, Knives. Whadaya hate the most?” The two of them are eye socket to cheekbone, armpit to shoulder. It’s one of those nights where Knives buries himself under the covers and into Vash’s arms, when the two of them nestle as closely together as they can without crawling into each other’s skin. Vash feels Knives laugh. “What a stupid question, brother.”

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Oh, man, not since my genshin days. My fics tend to be singular scenes recently so if I'm throwing out a scene I'm probably throwing out the fic into my "cannibalize for another fic later" pile.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Yeah, actually, which is a recent phenomenon. I like to romanticize fetishize sexualize Knives a lot but whenever I decide I want to play him as, like, a straight up abuser like he is in canon? It sometimes makes me uncomfortable because I'm drawing on some nasty irl experiences to make him sound realistic. This happened in "my brother, the myrrh eater" and in an upcoming unpublished chapter of "california dreamin'." I don't necessarily get upset but I do have to take breaks.

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

Answered here! Never :)

#writer asks

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waywardstraysau · 2 years

Text

Hunting Jackals

(A Wayward Tides Story by Mod Nightmare)

Jack Spicer and DT! Hunter form an unlikely friendship, and it begins with trespassing.

You know, of all the things or people Jack expected to come and bother him that Friday night, it certainly wasn’t that sour-looking guy he saw when he first met King. He just... waltzed in through the lab door like he owned the place!

Especially since it was a heavy duty door, and LOCKED.

“Nice place,” he hummed airily, seemingly oblivious to Jack’s annoyance with the sudden intrusion, “I can appreciate some Techno-Gothic decor~”

“Do you just not respect the sanctity of a locked door or something?” the redhead asked, eye twitching as the two made eye contact for the first time. The blonde simply shrugged, a lot more laid back and unbothered than Jack remembered, despite how short the meeting had been. “How the fuck did you even get in here?! The lab is locked down at night, and I’m pretty sure you got the message I had about my bots dishing out the consequences of breaking in here without an emergency!”

“I stole your key-card during dinner~” the blonde cackled as he produced a VERY familiar square of plastic that sent Jack digging through his trench coats MANY pockets. However, just as he looked up to demand the card back (with excessive expletives) the blonde was already right in front of him, offering the plastic square back without him having to request it. “I didn’t really need this to get in anyway. I just figured I might as well impress the self-proclaimed “Evil Boy Genius” who makes the robots around here with a little mischief of my own. Make our meeting a little more interesting that way, ya know?”

“… you came in here with King, we HAVE met before,” Jack replied with the kind of intonation that made the statement sound a bit like a question as he took the card back. The blond blinked twice before tugging at his forelock and scowling.

“Right, I’m still wearing the old “Puppet Boy” look, which, by the way-“ Jack flinched as the shadows of the room streaked across the floor to envelop the stranger, before falling away to show a drastically different appearance, “-SO not me now, it honestly kind of disgusts me how I used to walk around like that. I looked like I belonged in a prep school, ick.”

Jack blinked several times, taking in the new appearance of the shapeshifting stranger, before “You didn’t change your face” slipped out.

“Well, yeah, I’m still technically the same person, just from a different timeline,” the other boy shrugged, waving his hand as he continued, “I guess you can call me Darkstalker if you want, it is my villain name after all”

“Wait, you’re evil?” Jack asked excitedly, because holy FUCK the constant stream of goody-two-shoes heroic types could wear on an evil genius. His visitor smirked with something akin to pride.

“More like “anti-authority”, but same difference,” Darkstalker chuckled, leaning back and catching himself on the table behind him with one hand. A purple monkey tail flicking into view as he drew a circle in the air with his free hand, producing an honest to god WANTED poster. It unfurled and displayed a stylized drawing of the smaller boy, along with a rather impressive bounty. “I’m a bit partial to arson, but general mischief is my favorite pastime overall.”

“YO, that depiction of you is sick,” Jack complimented as he took the poster from the air to get a closer look, “The black flames really make you look badass!”

“O-oh that’s nothing special for me, just a bit of shadowmancy,” Darkstalker stuttered a bit, before summoning a small flicker of black flames, edged by a glorious gothic purple.

“Sooo cool!” Jack pumped excitedly, reaching out to touch the obsidian fire, only for Darkstalker to immediately snuffed it out.

“Ack! Hooker rules!” Darkstalker yelped, snapping his hand to his chest.

“”No kissing on the mouth?”” Jack snickered, making the other boy blush a deep red and shake his hand dismissively.

“No, no!” he squeaked, looking flustered before correcting and composing himself. “STRIPPER rules! I meant to say stripper!”

“Ahh, “Look, don’t touch”, gotcha,” Jack chuckled, holding a hand out, “You’re my kind of crazy, dude. You need a hand with any scheming, I’m your guy”

Darkstalker seemed surprised by the offer, as if he hadn’t really expected this kind of outcome from the encounter. Instead, he shook his head, and accepted the extended hand as a mischievous smirk spread across his face.

“I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer, friend”

…………….

It turned out Jack shared a lot of classes with Darkstalker, and that’s where he learned the guys proper name was “Hunter”. When questioned, he simply replied that it was fine to refer to him a such when they were alone, but if his doppelgänger was around, Darkstalker would need to be used to avoid confusion.

The idea made sense to Jack, so he went with it.

Following their discussion was the fastest week Jack ever had attending the school. Hunter was a goddamn delight to sit next to, fiddling with different types of magic whenever a lecture or class activity got particularly boring. The evil boy genius was exposed to some very interesting spells during these times, including one that could make semi-conscious minions out of purple goop that the violette had smuggled into class the previous day. In their exchanged notes, Hunter explained that these minions were called “Abominations” but while they were useful for some aspects of combat and petty work, synthesizing good quality “goo” took up a lot of valuable time. This severely limited the amount of practice he could get in and left him relying on other forms of magic.

It was conversations like these that found Jack in the school’s kitchen for the first time in- well, ever,- during the middle of the day.

“So if I could manage to synthesize enough of this “Abomination Goo” you could make me a mindless slime slave?” the redhead mused, stroking his chin as he held the vial of purple slime up to the light. He also dodged a mixing bowl that had been thrown by one of the more violent cooks in the kitchen.

“Well, I don’t know if I’m skilled enough to make a more permanent one, seeing as my specialties are in Oracle and Illusions, not Abominations. I could probably manage something that might last a few days at a time with my current skill level. I’d have to re-stabilize it after a while though,” the violette mused. He snatched one of the knives thrown near his head and using it to dice up some chives, quickly going back to the stove once that task had been finished. He seemed a little lost in thought. “What’s with the desire for a goo slave anyway? Your robots are way more efficient.”

“Umm, what evil genius WOULDN’T want a purple goo slave to do their bidding?” the redhead argued back, making the violette chuckle as he pulled down a tray and filled three bowls with noodles and broth. “Awful hungry today, are we?”

“Oh, no, Edric is gonna be joining us for lunch,” Hunter hummed, drawing a circle in the air to make the dishes wash themselves while he garnished the warm bowls with chives, before freezing up a bit as a thought occurred to him. “You’d be okay with that, right? Buddah, I totally forgot to ask-“

“It’s fine, Hunter,” Jack chuckled, amused by the way that even the violette’s studded ears turned crimson when he was embarrassed, “Though, I wouldn’t be opposed to a pudding cup as compensation-“

“You drive a hard bargain, Spicer,” Hunter chuckled, drawing another circle in the air. Jack was offered a rather fancy looking chocolate pudding in a wine glass, topped with whipped cream and two pieces of dark chocolate stabbed into the side. “I tend to make fancy desserts from scratch when I can’t sleep, anyway. The community fridge is chock full of those from last night.”

“I WAS WONDERING WHERE THOSE CAME FROM!”

………….

Sunday came around, and it found Hunter stretched out over a rather uncomfortable looking armchair playing a Switch while Jack worked on his latest project. The violette may have looked completely enraptured by his game, but the constant stream of chatter between the two teens proved otherwise.

“Man everyone in your world just sounds like an asshole. Who the fuck drags someone off the back of their ship for three miles in frozen waters just because they find you “annoying!?”” Hunter asked, purple tail tip twitching in a very well masked fury. “Buddha’s sake, some heroes those fucks are. Even I had better sense than that when transporting the “enemy”, I just tied them up and secured them somewhere!”

“Apparently being associated monks absolves them of “minor transgressions”,” Jack shrugged, flicking his googles down and activating a blowtorch.

“You could have DIED from that stunt though!?” Hunter shouted over the noise, but Jack simply shrugged again. “I’m surprised you never stabbed one of those guys, just out of self defense, damn.”

“I mean, I wanted knife throwing lessons as a kid, but mom decided figure skating would be more useful,” Jack replied, flicking the blowtorch back off, setting it aside and picking up a socket wrench in its place. “Turned her juicer into a robot for that one.”

“Pfft, WOW, your mom doesn’t know you at all,” Hunter chuckled, flipping over onto his stomach, lowered the switch and crossed his arms over the side of the chair. “Though, if you’re still up for learning knife throwing, my dad did give me a few lessons, I could probably teach you a little bit on the subject.”

“Why did your dad teach you how to throw knifes???” Jack questioned, catching the violette’s gaze.

“He said it was a valuable life skill. He’s taught me a lot of life skills like that actually, I could probably make it out in the woods for a few months if I really wanted to,” Hunter mused, drawing another spell circle and causing his Switch to vanish, before flicking a knife out of his sleeve, “Like how to make comfortable and incognito sheathes for extra weaponry, for in his words, “You’ll never know when you’ll need to stab a bitch”.”

“Can’t you just magic those out of thin air?” Jack questioned, to which Hunter just giggled, a bit like a child.

“Sure, but that’s a lot less fun, and there are probably artifacts out there that can drain magic,” he hummed, tossing the knife into the air and catching it by the tip of the blade, “Better safe than sorry, yeah?”

“Wait, then what was with that shit in the kitchen yesterday?” Jack questioned, to which the violette blushed, pointed ears turning red all the way to the tip.

“Um… I was showing off?” He muttered, flipping the knife back to the hilt side, using the blades reflection to avoid eye contact, “I don’t know how to make friends, so I tend to try and impress people I want to associate with whenever I can, I suppose.”

“… did you do that kind of thing with Edric?” the redhead questioned, setting aside his wrench. The pleasant green haired witch being Hunters only friend he spoke of.

The voilette just turned a darker shade of red.

“No…. Edric actually caught my attention with his knowledge on wild magic. I was always into the subject, and I caught him with one of the books banned by the Emperor’s Coven on my first day of school,” Hunter explained, looking a little wistful, “We’re kind of just a pair of lonely people who happened to share a lot of interests, so we got close really fast…”

Jack took in the look on the violettes face, something wistful and fond. It was something he’d only seen in those Hallmark movies he’d watch when he was feeling extra lonely when he was younger.

He knew that face. Knew it well, despite never having seen it directed his way.

“… do you like him?”

“No!” the violette hissed angrily, his calm demeanor burned up in an instant. He glared at the redhead with a snarl that displayed the gap between his rather sharp teeth. Jack took a step back with a flinch, the aggression something he had been unfamiliar with when it came to the other boy until then. Despite his diminutive size, he was terrifying when angered. “I’m not gay. Don’t you EVER imply such a thing of me again-!”

“Sorry! Didn’t know you were homophobic!” Jack squeaked, cursing the voice cracks that never fucked off.

The statement seemed to knock all the air out of the smaller male, and he immediately relaxed once more, looking ashamed.

“No. Not homophobic. Luz is Bi, and has a girlfriend to boot, I could never hate my little sister for that,” he clarified, looking a little downtrodden. “I just… wasn’t raised in the best environment when it came to someone’s orientation. Or for anything, really, but that’s not my point”

“So accusations of being gay didn’t go over well, then?” Jack asked quietly, a rarity for him.

“”Didn’t go over well” is putting it mildly,” Hunter sighed, popping the button on his hood and pulling the neck of the shirt underneath down, displaying a rather nasty looking, jagged scar running from the side of his neck. It traced down his collar and over the side of his chest, the wound had just barely missing the carotid artery. It had healed completely at that point, but it was newer than the one on his cheek, perhaps only a few years old. “My…. Guardian, you could call him, the one before my dad took me in, did not react well when I looked at a boy my age “wrong” during one of those castle galas we had. After that, let’s just say that if I was gay at some point, and I never was, I had the homosexuality beaten out of me several times over.”

“… Hunter, your orientation can’t-“

“Yes the fuck it can,” the violette hissed, trembling a bit as he sat upright in the chair, one hand clutching the fabric of his shirt over the scar, the other digging into the armrest with sharp claws. “It can and it has. I don’t have a thing for Edric, end of story”

“Okay,” Jack simply replied, putting his hands down and moving back to the work table, pulling his current project back in front of him. “Consider the book shut”

“…thank you”

The silence that came after that wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but there was still some tension in the air. Hunter just curled up and showed his back to the redhead, trembling slightly.

Eventually, after maybe half an hour, he finally spoke again when the genius wasn’t using a loud tool.

“… you won’t… tell anyone about that, right?” he asked, shifting a bit to peek over his shoulder.

“As long as you don’t tell anyone I sleep with a nightlight, we’re even,” Jack replied simply, earning himself a confused stare.

“You sleep with a- oh”

“Yeah.”

A more comfortable silence followed for a bit. Then;

“Thank you, Jack”

“No problem,” he replied, going back to his project with a small smile, “After all, what are friends for?”

#wayward strays au #wayward strays #the owl house #toh hunter #hunter toh #crossover #xiaolin showdown #jack spicer #yes the title is a pun #get over it

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archiesfagfantasy · 2 years

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hello hello! just wanted to ask what your favourite philosophy courses have been so far? i did philosophy through high school and want to pick up some philosophy electives in my degree, so i thought i'd ask which ones you've enjoyed

hiii, thank you for asking i have many opinions on the topic.

first of all, to be honest, i *dont* enjoy studying philosophy 😭 . i find a lot of it kind of stupid and pointless* actually, and the non-worthless remainder is like the spiritual equivalent of touching a live wire. but as a hater by nature (though the urge to constant critique instead of constructing new realities is an issue in itself and a symptom of the postmodern reality which i am learning to resist) it was really the only thing left for me to study (with the exception of sociology which i could have and nearly did major in but ultimately realised that by that point i was too advanced and it would be a waste of time to take classes i can easily get 90+ grade average in -- this was the right choice because philosophy ultimately forced me to go deeper into analysis instead of simply deferring to other's research as social sciences tend to encourage).

anyways... if youve studied philosophy before you probably already know about the internal schism between the continental and analytical schools of philosophy, the main difference being their approach to language: continental often draws from literary and psychoanalytic influences, as well as directly from western classics. whereas analytical is plato through the lens of aristotle through the lens of christianity through the lens of secular materialism; so, gabage basically. it's not all bad obviously, im not saying chuck out every modern western philosophers. but i do think it's annoying and stupid.

while "continental" literally referring to the continent of europe the analytical style has become pretty prevasive in the majority of universities even in europe, and that has been the case for my bachelor's degree in australia. only one continental class was offered which was "making the modern worldview" (formerly called "philosophy from plato to nietzsche" -- basically the only 2 western philosophers you ever never to study) and that was sooo good omg. i also am part of an "independent school" which does plato texts exclusively, this has been way way more productive than anything ive done at university and i highly recommend seeking out non-institutional forms of education when it cones to philosophy. the best course i took with them was on christianity&neoplatonism, and i am currently taking ancient greek.

as for uni though, all the other philo subjects have been nothing short of enraging :(( . the head lecturer for the philosophy department at my uni is a diehard analytical fanboy and probably the worst coordinator i have ever had (listen, i have beef with philosophy, but i also think that anyone who fails to have beef with philosophy definitely should not be doing philosophy professionally). i have one last subject (compulsory 😞) for my degree with him for which i started the assigned reading already and i kid you not the first 6 weeks are all from the same textbook -- a hugeee faux pas for university level teaching. for a subject like philosophy it is just deeply deeply lazy, bordering on neglegent to teach a level 3 class from a textbook, especially given how important it is in this field to build a coherent response to a *specific* philosopher's position. avoid classes that teach like this, secondary texts wont cut it for philosophy. also keep an eye out for teachers/texts that claim translation isnt important - this is a massive red flag.

okay so on to the actual question you asked 😂 ill just list a few fields and names that you should look out for:

- as mentioned before, plato & nietzsche as massively important

- other pre-socratics

- literally anything that is outside the western cannon (sadly kinda rare fir many unis even in non western countries coz of the pervasive influence of neo/colonialism in academia)

- im quite partial to phenomenolgy

- postmodern/ hermeneutic/ dialectical approaches

- definitely definitely do a metaphysics class if you can, really dig into the nature of truth, knowledge, reality, beauty etc.. this is probaby the most important part of philosophy imo, bc without a coherent metaphysics your entire system of meaning collapses (*cough* this is what nietzsche meant by the death of god *cough*)

- philosophy of language/ linguistics

- also religious studies

my main advice is always always check the reading list before you enroll in a class!! if you dont have access to the list email the professor asking for the names of authors which will be explored. go through at least some of the readings before you decide on/ start the course.

andddd here is my library which has some thematic grouping of texts from social sciences & philosophy 💓

this ended up soo long wtf 😖😵 hope it's helpful if i bit rant-y haha

#asks #philosophy

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hazelwitch800 · 1 year

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I'm here for the ask gamee!! I wanna make sure how alike we are haha sooo 4, 19, 23, 29, and 39...Is that too many? It's way too many lol, feel free to choose between them

Lin!!! Omg you're an angel, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be so self indulgent! And I want to hear all of your responses to these questions in turn 😏

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Omg wow I found this so hard arrrrgh! I think I find this one hard because there's not a word in particular that I love, but I absolutely WILL go feral over a writer's word choice, especially when it's anything surprising or interesting or creative that just makes me think oh wow, what a great word! I do actually have a list of "good words" on my notes app though lol, so here is a selection of some of those: tranquil, raw, permeate, hollow, scorched, lethargy, deft (there were many others lol what a strange list 😅)

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I only started properly writing at the beginning of 2022, but I really have been writing here and there all my life. I was a total bookworm as a kid, and was always writing stories. The first job I ever wanted was to be an author 😁 I have loads of old notebooks from my teenage years filled with snippets of prose and poems, but I never really finished anything or wrote anything cohesive. I feel like discovering the Internet was a major road block because it ruined my attention span and I barely read a book for years! Honestly, fanfiction was the intense hyperfixation I needed to get myself into gear - I've never had such a strong urge to create before!

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

Ooh I love this - the environment I write in feels super important to me. Okay, so, sometimes, it's at my desk at home during the working day (sssshhhh!), accompanied by the modern day working from home soundtrack: the ping of Teams messages. Other times, it's on the sofa, snuggled under my electric blanket turned up to the max. And when I can make it work, it's in my favourite place of all - my local library. It has a beautiful reading room panelled in old, dark wood, and there's a huge skylight up above. It's a wonderful, peaceful place to work. Maybe not so great for when I'm writing smut 😁

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

When I first started writing, I honestly felt like inspiration just threw itself at me from the void, lol. Nowadays, it's harder. Honestly, I think a lot of my inspiration comes via logical thinking, just trying to figure out what a certain character might do or say in a given situation and letting that guide me. Ooh, also, the act of writing in itself is SO important for me inspiration-wise - there is SO much that just comes to me as I'm writing. Like it just seems to appear in my mind. Which is annoying as it means outlining or plotting beforehand doesn't really work for me, I have to have a half idea and then see how it plays out on the page!

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

Honestly... Self discipline hahaha. That feels like such a sad thing to admit. But I'm the type of person who likes to see things through to the end. I rarely just WANT to write, but I make the time to and I keep at it. I am actually taking more breaks recently, though, and intend to take a longer break to fully recharge soon :)

#Ily Lin #U are the bestest #Here is my personal essay I hope u enjoy it

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i0-0na · 2 months

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Entry 7: First Hang Out

Date: 15.04.2024

This week was quiet, I didn’t go out that much because I was busy focusing on university work, for Bristol UWE, as the initial deadline was slowly approaching. However, on Friday, me and some of the other students decided to meet for a little drink/picnic in Ueno Park. Public drinking is legal here, I was shocked but not surprised because of the number of stories or things you hear about with Japanese drinking culture.

However, before I met with the rest, I decided to show Dom around Harajuku real quick. Specifically, the backstreets, and boyyyy he literally fell in love lol. Ask him yourself if you ever meet him hahaha.

I did my makeup gal style (gyaru) that day, whenever I go to Harajuku, I always want to dress up extra, and slay harder than usual!! Also, whilst we were there, we decided to go to La Foret, this cool shopping mall which has lots of j-fashion brands. I ventured to nearly every floor and added so much to my mental wish list (if I were to buy everything, I liked there I would’ve gone broke lol). As I went to the lower floors, Dom and I stumbled upon this independent artist pop-up area. Again, I found so many things I loved but I actually happened to find this one illustration artist who I was already following on Instagram selling her stuff there! Like stickers and stuff. https://www.instagram.com/gyaruuuuuuuu?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

She is also a fellow gyaru~ So I decided to pick up some of her stuff✨

However further exploring this area I found this one guy setting up his station, he was a fashion designer and we got to talking for a while and they even complimented my look! They were really chill! When I went more into the centre of this area, I found Fruits magazines! FRUITS MAGAZINES!!

FRUITS!!!!

MAGAZINEESSS!!! MULTIPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who don’t know it’s this famous magazine which captures J-fashion street styles from the 90s-2010s, it went out of publishment not so long ago. This was because of the creator … saying that “there were no longer any cool kids in Harajuku anymore”, extreme I know but if you remember what I said a while ago about “the death of Harajuku J-fashion/subcultures” you could kind of understand. This is a very influential magazine, I’d say most people who are into J-fashion found out about it through fruits magazine, I’d say maybe 70% of people find out about it through that magazine. In other words, this is like my bible! I had to buy it no questions asked!!

A very funny interaction I had whilst was going to pay was that on my phone case there’s a little see through part which allows me to put a little image of whatever I want. Typically, idols, fictional characters, lovers, friends or whatever photo you want can typically go inside! I decided a while ago to put this drawing I made of a somewhat recent character I’ve been obsessed with, Miguel O’Hara ✨ From Across the Spiderverse. If you haven’t watched it you totally should its amazingggggg, the first movie I liked, but the second one, MWAH, its cult classic material I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTT. I like what watched it like 4 times in cinemas or something, 7 ish times in general of the top of my head it was soo good! However when I went to pay one of the cashiers I caught peering at my phone case, she asked who it was, I responded, and she knew of Miguel and the movie TOT!!! We both like fangirled for a hot minute. I love to see that fangirling is a global phenomenon hahahhahaa.

However, time was of the essence, and we needed to go and meet the others. So, we met Matthijs and Minnie around the entrance to Ueno Park, and together we walked a lap around the park. We saw street vendors, public entertainers, swan boats and sooo many picnics as it was Sakura season of course. Without a picnic blanket we decided to sit down and vibe together. Another person from student exchange came later, Anna. It was really nice to get to know everyone before university started!

We also asked some people to take a photo of us with Minnies polaroid, she says for her documentation of her stay that she’ll take a polaroid photo every day. So cool~ In an exchange the people also asked to take photos with us too lol.

Later on, we headed over to somewhere nearby to look for an izakaya for some food and drinks, it was super busy, but again a nice vibe!! And food!!! ------------------------------------

I still have so much coursework to finish. I want to relax and explore Japan, so the quicker I finish this assignment the sooner I can be free and have fun! I am having fun right now still though >-<

Bye for now~~~~

Song Listening to Now: Magnetic - ILLIT

youtube

#blog #diary #japan #tokyo #university #student exchange programs #student life #travel #yoyogi park #friends #across the spiderverse #fangirling #fruits magazine #movies #animation #izakaya #harajuku #La foret #Youtube

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vivisols · 5 months

Note

Annnnyyyyways the reason I’m on Anya was because I was going to ask you to draw the two Anyas together, but i realized i forgot Alwards last name so i had to go find that

Forgetting all that, can you draw Anya and Anya playing jenga together?

And is Alward just a human version of Aardwolf?

And who did they marry??

Does Alward share the “sona” title that Aardwolf has? Or is it something different?

In the case alward is a sona, does that mean you have a self insert… in a self insert story? You double up self inserts? >:3c (im being silly)

Oh and whats a to z?

Thats… a lot more questions than i intended, oopsieeeesssss >xp sorry, hope you liked them at least :p

one Anya is enjoying jenga and the other one is fighting for her life. you'll never know which is which xD

anya alward married equinox alward! (yes HE took HER last name IDCCC) aka one of my old ocs that i wanted to revive xD

and anya alward is indeed a human version of anya aardwolf!!! tho human anya isn't technically a sona, since anya alward isn't actually the same anya i use as a sona! for narrative reasons.

getting into ALL of that would require me getting into z to a too, so this ask is actually kinda perfect xDDD

the anya lore gets WILD so prepare yourself xP

basically, z to a is my main dca x self insert oc story thingie! the suuuuper barebones summary of it is that Z#### (aka one of my sonas), who was an employee at the pizzaplex, died and possessed the endoskeleton being programmed for the newest pizzaplex animatronic, anya aardwolf!

but because of some bits of code already being within the endo, Z#### ended up losing most of her memories in the overwrite. not all, but most! she knows that she was a human but barely anything beyond that, as she only has a few snippets of her memories intact. as a result, she just embraced the whole "anya aardwolf" role she had to play. she's "anya" now, though not really....

i think this chart explains it better??? xD

sooo yeah! the anya aardwolf that i use as my sona (aka anya z. aardwolf) is actually Z#### through a whole bunch of technicalities!

and since anya alward was never Z####, she's not anya z., therefore not a sona! just a human AU version of the in-universe character anya aardwolf!

basically!

anya alward = anya aardwolf (JUST the character) anya alward ≠ anya z. aardwolf (the anya i use as my sona)

in order to make this whole thing a tiny biiiit easier... look out for the ear notch!!! z. anya/sona anya has it, while just character anya doesnt!!! along with pupils! z. anya has pupils, but just character anya doesnt have any :3

so yeah, in a way anya alward is anya aardwolf. but theres too many narrative complications for her to be anya z., my sona, so she isn't a sona! if that makes sense.... xD

....somehow i feel like i explained this in a much more convoluted and confusing way than i needed to xP

#vivispeaks #ask #anya aardwolf #anya alward #vividraws #doodles #digital art #my art #z to a my BELOVED

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glimmerbugart · 8 months

Text

What’s Your Word?

Over the years, I’ve tried to come up with a “word of the year” to keep me moving forward in a New Year. Each year it’s been a different word. Some past words that I’ve used are:

Hope

Focus

Organize

Positive

Love

And a few more that if I really think back, they’ll come to me. These words have helped me grasp a “theme” that I want to continue during the 12 months of the year.

My word for 2024 is:

I’d like to spend more time this year “sharing” with others. And I’m really going to focus on sharing my art with others, through happy mail, random acts of kindness, mail art, leave behind pieces and cards. I think it’s a good way to bring positivity to my surroundings and people in my life, as well as those who I have never met.

It used to drive my father nuts when I would make things for people for special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries or just to be nice. I loved sewing cross stitch patterns, making quilts, drawings and handmade pieces of art in my 20s and would spend hours creating special gifts. Most of these handmade gifts were for close friends and family and since I was in college and my early 20s, I didn’t have a endless amount of cash to blow on gifts for people.

He used to get so irritated because he’d tell me that I should just make things for myself because the people that I was making gifts for and spending all this time on really wouldn’t appreciate the effort and love that was put into something handmade. Yet, I trudged on, continuing to make things for others since that was really all I could afford after paying for college and working as many hours as I could get at my jobs.

And that started to ring true after a while. I started to realize that the handmade pieces that I would spend hours and hours working on, were often just cast aside and that made me feel really unappreciated and shitty. In fact, I can remember back when I worked at JoAnn Fabrics in my early college days, making about $8 an hour. My brother and his girlfriend had just gotten a little black Lab puppy, that I adored and couldn’t get enough of. On one of the delivery trucks, a new supply of fabrics arrived and, wouldn’t you know it, there was a few bolts of cotton fabric that had black Lab puppies on it! So I used a good portion of my paycheck the following week to purchase the fabric to make a “quillow,” which was all the rage back in the 90s. It was a quilt, that folded up into a pillow so you could use it for either purpose. And nice Sandy the fabric lady would stay late at work after we’d close to show me how to make my projects and help me with questions. It took me weeks to work on it! But I was sooo excited to give it to my brother and his chick for Christmas.

Fast forward to after Christmas, after I had painstakingly spent hours and a good amount of money on this project. I’m over at his house and I go to bring the trash outside, and what’s in the trash bin? My beloved “quillow.” Thrown away, like it was a piece of shit. All rumpled up and stuffed into the trash can. I was heartbroken. Sad. Angry.

And that’s when things started to shift for me… slowly. After several other creative projects that I handmade for said brother and now what was his second wife, all ended much with the same demise: The cross stitch that I made with his wedding song and had framed had a photo swapped out, to keep using the frame but the hell with the lyrical cross stitch (which, by the way, was done old school with a recording from the radio and me stopping, starting and pausing as I had to write down the lyrics to that shitty Bryan Adams song). And let’s also not forget the times that I’d be asked to hand make their kids Halloween costumes, fly them down to them in Alabama, only to have the kids decide they changed their minds and didn’t want to wear the costumes that I spent hours and hours on. Yeah, I got burnt out from being shit on by them.

Now that my parents are both gone and I’ve pulled the plug on the sibling relationship (which was the BEST decision I’ve ever made), I’ve gotten back into making things for people that I love and care about, and am pleased to say they appreciate. It’s nice seeing and hearing appreciative comments from the recipients, and makes me realize that I was simply focusing my maker energy on the wrong goddamn people!

So now, with it being a new year, my word is SHARE. And I am excited to start sharing more of my art with those around me!

What’s your word for 2024?

#2024 word of the year #Art projects #art studio littleton ma #Glimmerbug Handmade Art #art studio harvard ma

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sugareey-makes-stuff · 2 years

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1, 10 and a wildcard of your choice for the questions pls and thank youuuuu!!! xox

Hey neighbor! I’m just catching up on things, so forgive my lateness. These look like some fun q’s, so I’ll give it a go. Be prepared for some long, rambly answers! 1. What are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Fandom: Okay, so I’ve been in fandom for a longggg ass time. I think we’re going on to 19 years soon? I have no idea where I would be without fandom because the person I was before that was unsure, lost and intimidated. Fandom has helped me cultivate so many long-lasting friendships and that was what turned me into a creator. I don’t know how people know this, but I started off as a fic writer before becoming a fan artist. I used to write weekly drabbles, long fic and I did write a BB (44k!) once upon a time. The community I joined then was super wholesome and welcoming. The writing from those days makes cringe like hell now, but I really appreciate what I learned from that time. Then a couple of years later I jumped into making art, and for a while I was writing and drawing at the same time (don’t ask me how I did that while in uni either). I actually made my first HP art pieces while still in school, and I was thinking about pursuing art for uni. I had one piece that was accepted into an art gallery for a HP convention, and that was when I also made my first Drarry piece for a fest. I have not looked back ever since. Since I recharged my batteries and I’m now writing and drawing at the same time again, it’s amazing to see how much has changed and how my styles have matured. Processes have changed, and quality is way more important than quantity. But also, seeing how all of these things have reached other people and brought them joy has been pretty awesome. Art: See above. I am 10000% sure if it wasn’t for fandom, I would not be making art right now. And I know that would be super sad, because art has been part of the reason why I’ve always gotten hired for jobs, even though it’s not the premise of any of the roles I’ve had/have. But it’s the methodology and thinking out of the box that counts. Taking risks and seeing what sticks. That’s what has made me stick out every time I meet new people and I tell them I’m an artist.

Original art (which I do make too) is fun, but fanart has always given me a liberty to play in one or multiple sandboxes and has allowed me to take things to the next level in some crazy ways. I’ve found that it’s almost like journaling or milestoning things and ideas whenever I make something for a fest/event. It’s super different from making art to be sold for online or at conventions. Since I’m part professionally-trained (traditional) and part self-trained (digital) and I’ve been making art for quite some time, I also can’t see myself not making art. That’s just how I express myself...when visuals are easier to portray than words are. Life without would be like be cutting my limbs off. Tea + Tumblr: Okay, so here’s a fun story! I got into loose leaf teas and became a tea blender because of Tumblr back in 2013. Yeahhh. Adagio Teas introduced fandom teas at the time (where you can make your own blend of teas), and since I was using Tumblr to promote my art biz when that was the thing to do, I met some other artists who were making teas and I jumped on the bandwagon. It was such a pleasure meeting some amazing tea blenders (like Cara McGee or Aun-Juli Riddle), because we all were putting so much love in making these dumb teas about characters we loved. We’d illustrate all the labels and figure out tea percentages that suited each person. There’s actually some strategy around this (feel free to ask more if you’d like :P). Sooo, yeah, I’m still making teas to this day. Selling fandom teas somehow became a big foundation that has kept my art biz going. Local cons know me as the tea person, I have regulars who come back for more, and when I do come out with something new, people get really excited about it. I’ve sort of turned tea into an experience for people. And you can probably guess it...mentioning this in job interviews has gotten me some major kudos. :D 10. Would you say you’re an emotional person? YESSSS. 1000000% This doesn’t need a long answer, but I’ve always been a sensitive person since I was a kid (my mom actually had to read books on how to deal with that), and given my answers above, I pull from emotions when it comes to creations, listening to music, and pretty much everything. 6. What’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

Best: Ummm, I have to say, seeing people lose their shit about something you’ve had to keep quiet about is kind of fun and amazing. I’ve been participating in anon fests for a long time, and it’s always fun to see people guess who made what. I know that my style for art has changed a lot over the years, and it’s way more obvious whenever my art does get posted (since I have yet to find someone who draws so crosshatchy like I do). I’ll take that as a win though. People will either leave comments of squee, or they’ll reblog the crap out of it (something that wasn’t as easy to do back in the LJ days).

Worst: Imposter syndrome is so realllll. I know we’re our own worst critic, and sometimes, it’s difficult when I have days where I think my work sucks, or I have to ask why I’m making something. I’ve definitely learned over the years that it’s super important to enjoy not just the end result of something but also the process of making it. Because at the end of the day, we should do what makes us happy.

Thanks for the ask! ___ Previously answered: 11 and 17 Want to know more? Ask a q for questions I think would be fun to be asked!

#ask meme #asked and answered #q's that would be fun to ask #about me

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xleeleeboox · 2 years

Text

Dear Eddie

Eddie munson x cheerleader!reader (fem implied)

Warnings: No spoilers! like one cuss word and one use of y/n but i couldn’t think of anything else to put into that spot its the only one lol it is not proof read and it is allll fluff

1.7k words

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Valentine’s day was not a day that Eddie particularly liked. All of the sick couples making out, whenever, wherever, the pink and red and purple. The candy all shaped like hearts made with cheap cherry flavor. Ugh, and the worst of it was the Valentines the cheer squad were passing out to everybody. It was a thing, buy a card or flower for however much money and write a message and whoever’s name. It can be anonymous, or you can sign your name. Eddie hated it because he never got one. Not ever.

He didn’t want one from anyone, ever. Not once did he stop and wish for a Valentine. He did get a little jealous though when he realized that eventually his friends started to get some. Even the freshman who didn’t know many people. Still got at least one. He couldn’t explain it though, Valentine’s day never mattered to him, so why should it now?

You. You were the answer to that question. Eddie had a crush on you, sure. For a year, then two years, and now two and a half years he’s had a crush on you and he can’t stop thinking about you handing out the Valentine’s to people. I mean you were on the cheer squad right? But he thought, how many of those were yours addressed to other people? You were always a very kind person. But none of the cards coming from you seemed to have any flowers attached. At Hawkins, it means something if you get flowers along with the card. They weren’t that popular. Either the card, or a flower.

Eddie thought he was wasting his own time trying to go after you. You hardly noticed him. You shared two classes, and sat next to him in one of them. You waved to him in the hall. You were always in the theater room hanging out with the teacher and some of your friends after school, and you always cleaned up for his Hellfire club, which was very nice of you. All that and Eddie still doesn’t think you notice him. But you do. Oh you do. You got a crush on him, of course! But he doesn’t know. Yet. He doesn’t know yet.

This was the perfect time you thought. Confess to him with a little note, that way you won’t be a silly little mess when you try to talk to him. It was a good plan, a great plan even. So you marched right up to Chrissy Cunningham, in charge of the booth for today and pulled up a chair next to her.

“Hi Chrissy! Can I get one of these?” You lean over for a white card, blank so you could design the front too.

“Sure! Ooo who are you going to give this one to?” She asks. Chrissy was curious, you’d only handed out cards to your closest best friends this year. She didn’t want to pry but you were friends and she had nothing else better to do than to monitor the students coming up and putting a dollar in the bucket and grabbing a card.

“I really wanna write one to this guy I like. He’s pretty quiet around me, so I’m not sure how I am able to give this to him without embarrassing myself. And I don’t want anyone else to give it to him.” You explained your plan to her.

“Who is it? And you better tell me because you know I will press!” There’s no point in hiding it to be honest.

“It’s Eddie.”

“Eddie Munson?”

“Yeah, do you think I should sign my name? I was going to put it on his desk in the class we sit together in.” You ask as you are drawing little hearts and bats all over the front of the card in red and black pens. “Mmmmm… I say put your name. He’s gotta know it’s you!” You chuckle at this.

“Yes, but what if he doesn’t like me back, or he thinks this idea is stupid?” Well, he does think it’s stupid, but he won’t for long.

“Are you kidding me, any guy would be sooo into you. I’ve seen the amount of Valentine’s addressed to you this year. Ooo hun, you got just a mountain of them.”

“I still can’t believe that, like why? A lot of these people barely know me personally.” You respond back to her. I mean, you are one of the most beloved teens in the whole town. Volunteer work, good grades, different styles that cater to everyone’s taste, different music taste, different kinds of friends, you could appeal to just about anybody in that town. And everybody knew it, especially how kid you were, making them less nervous to come talk to you because they know you won’t embarrass them.

Chrissy continues hyping you up, “You are the sweetest person anyone has met, you honestly are very easy to talk to and get along with. That’s why people like you!” You stop and look at her before responding “I think you are one of the nicest people I’ve ever met Chris.” You say with a smile, thankful for the kind things she has been saying.

You finish up the card and slip it into a red envelope and pick up a light pink flower to go along with it, slipping the money into the bucket and walking back to your table to gather your stuff. Luckily the next class you had was with Eddie, but he almost always waited for most of the people to move out of the lunchroom so he didn’t have to interact with as many people. As he was walking to his next class, he tries his best to avoid looking at the couples making out against the lockers, some of them getting a little handsy, and Eddie sudders. For a split second he imagines himself walking down the hall hand in hand with you, he just knows they are soft because he has grazed his hand against yours when you had passed things over to him, like a pencil that he never seems to have.

You arrive to the room before he does, placing the note and flower on his desk and sitting down, eagerly waiting for him. Meanwhile, Eddie shakes those thoughts from his head and walks through the doorway, about to slam his bag on his desk but he stops himself when he sees the note and the flower. His heart stops for just a second, it was almost indetectable. Maybe he got a card and a flower, but he saw you were already sitting there and figured it was just yours. You were turned around talking to one of your more quiet friends trying not to pay attention to Eddie in case he read it right there.

Eddie slid the card and flower back over to your desk, thinking that it was yours and you were leaving your stuff all over the place again. You were still turned to your friend talking, and slid the card back over to him without looking. Eddie looked at the card and saw his name on it. Well shit. It is his. He looked around for suspicious faces and found none. He had two minutes before class started so he opened it.

Dear Eddie,

I know that a Valentine’s card probably isn’t the most ideal way to do this, but I’m not gonna lie, you make me shy so I don’t think I could tell you in person. I really like you, I think you are talented, handsome, unique, funny, and you have always been so sweet to me. But in a way that nobody else is, and it makes me feel special. Thank you for always being so nice to me, I would love it if we could hang out sometime if you are free. Here’s my phone number, it rings straight to my room so you won’t have to ask for me. XXX-XXXX

-Y/N

The letter finishes and reads it over again, and one more time trying his best to process the message. His cheeks are pink and he looks over to you staring straight ahead with pink cheeks and a smile on your face. There’s no way, he thinks to himself. There is absolutely no way, not after two and a half years, and all I’ve done was ask for a pencil a few times and for notes for an upcoming test. Okay, okay, if they look at you and say something then it’s real.

So he stares at you for a few more seconds, then you turn your head a little and look into his eyes, for just a moment, and your smile gets bigger at him. Oooookay, maybe it is real. He doesn’t say anything, afraid he’s gonna say something wrong, so he just nods to you and you turn your head back to the board, trying to cover your cheeks a little bit. Something he thought was very cute and very endearing.

He keeps the note on his desk with him the rest of the day, turning it around in his hands and opening it again and again reading it over and over until he memorized the curve of each letter. He never thought he would love Valentine’s day this much.

The rest of the classes Eddie kept the card with him, the flower sticking out of his bag. People were of course giving him weird looks, but did he care? Nope. The next class you had together was the last one. You two kept stealing glances at each other the whole time, smiling to yourselves. The bell rang and you scurried out of the room, having to head straight home and do all your homework, trying to free up your weekend in case Eddie calls. So he takes this chance when he gets home.

He sits in the trailer, Wayne gone, phone to himself. He waited a while to call you, he didn’t want to seem eager or anything, of course not. The flower is on his nightstand and the note in his hand and the phone in the other. He waited until after dinner, hopefully you would be free then. He punched the number in, hoping, praying that it was actually the right number and not just a trick. The phone rang one, twice, three times, he was going to hang up, feeling like he was going crazy. It picked up in the middle of the fourth ring. He heard you take a deep breath,

“Hello?”

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let me know what you thought! If i should change anything with my writing or if you want another part!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagines #stranger things eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things season 4 #stranger things 4 #hellfire #hellfire club #hawkins high

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