#i like big boops and i cannot lie

[abitboldshop]

'Tis the season to be giving (boops).

[moonyennonnie]

Haha boop laundering. Also how do I send a super boop?

[embracing-the-ineffable]

SO many crazy boopers over here too, I love them all 🥰

Who ist your craziest booper?

I gpt so many I dont even know 😭

[random-introverted-blog]

ITS REAL, THE EVIL BOOP HAS COME FOR ME, SHIELD ME BROTHERS AND SISTERS! TO ARMS!

[lefarte]

would i be a bother if i asked for cuddling hcs for funger 1 characters as well ..?

No anon you’re good :] dw

I did not know if you meant just the main cast or the side characters as well so I did only the playable characters (also Celeste and moonless cameos)

Cahara

He is definitely physically affectionate, always giving people hugs and little pecks (often for the purpose of stealing their coins). He’s just kind of a lovey dovey guy.

He likes to be the big spoon to make you feel cherished, but being the little spoon isn’t off the table. On the contrary, he loves that too. It’s like you’re a cute little blanket.

Cahara is perfectly fine with PDA. He’ll hold your hand while you two walk around, kiss you in public, laugh loudly. It’s not like he’s got anything to be ashamed of. He’s sure that all of the people that look at you are probably just jealous that he has such a cute partner~

He gives you nose boops.

You, him and Celeste will all be sleeping in the same bed (on the nights where Celeste doesn’t have work.)

Ever since he was a kid he developed a habit of being a very light sleeper, constantly having to look over his shoulder for bad actors. So he tends to be the last one asleep. He doesn’t mind it though, he likes to watch over you and have the time to be with you in quiet.

Also he thinks it’s super cute when you and Celeste snuggle.

D’arce

I’m not going to lie she is not a good snuggler. But it’s okay she’s trying🩷

She’s just never been physically close with anyone… ever. Her life beforehand was always so isolated, never even holding hands before... Cuddling simply for fun is… embarassing. (She’s the type to get flustered by a woman showing her ankles.)

Stiff as a board, her ears go very red, just staring at the ceiling. God forbid you’re in clothes too comfortable, or her all the blood will rush straight to her head.

Prefers you to be laying directly on top of her. She is so strong that she can hold you with absolute ease, you can curl up on her and rest your head on her chest. Her heart would be pounding in your ears all night. Wouldn’t sleep a wink.

She’s quite protective. She doesn’t like to be the little spoon. That should be reserved for you…

One thing she does like is to rest her head in your lap. She looks so cute and dazed… especially if you can feed her snacks or something.

Also… If you sleep with her for one night, you will never sleep anywhere else again. She has to “stand guard for you”.

Enki

General little spoon vibes. Little spoon so that he can read his book while you sleep (and suffer from his long ass hair in your face). I’m sorry, I absolutely cannot imagine him being big spoon. Even if you are much smaller than him, you’re going to have to be the big spoon. Because he’s not budging from his spot 🙄

Lots of hand holding. You basically get dragged around like a purse because he won’t let go. And then he acts like YOU’RE the one being annoying!

You will probably end up brushing/detangling his hair. You’d have to wrangle him to get him to agree with it, but he actually calms down quite a bit once it starts. He actually quite likes his hair being touched…

He’s a weirdo who sleeps with absolutely no blankets because he can’t handle heat. He also refuses pillows because they’re “too comfortable”. Just raw dogging it.

Ragnvaldr

His favorite way to cuddle is to pick you up and rest you right on top of him, and just hug you tight and rub your back until you fall asleep.

In the Oldegarde winters it wasn’t unusual for the whole household to all sleep in one bed for warmth. This is the way he likes it most. The warmth you feel when you’re all nestled up together under heavy quilts is just so soft and domestic. It’s unlike what just a fire can give you.

If your hair is long enough, he likes to braid your hair before bed so that your hair doesn’t get tousled when you sleep. Even if you can do it yourself, he likes to do it for you as a bedtime ritual. You may braid his hair too, if you insist.

Moonless sleeps in the bed with you. She’s a big sweetheart, she sleeps at your feet in a ball. She generally doesn’t disturb you, but she gets antsy if you don’t come to bed on schedule. She’ll try to drag you to bed if she has to.

He has a dad snore.

Moonless also snores.

[russenoire]

i like big boops and i cannot lie

[honestabbi]

I like big boops and I cannot lie.

you can do or say whatever you want i'm not opting in on boops.

[urmumissospooky]

i like

big BOOPS

and i cannot lie

[summerreign4077]

I like big boops and I cannot lie!

You other boopers can't deny!

For Boop-Badges Collectors

Rough estimate: It's possible to reach 1000 boops in less than 2 hours (took me 1:30h), if you got some people to spam it to.

If you are a blog where people can spam boop's to, reblog this.

[estavionpira]

~i like big boops and i cannot lie~

[shortsweetespresso]

I LIKE BIG BOOPS AND I CANNOT LIE

THEM OTHER TUMBLRS CAN'T DENY

WHEN A MUTUAL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY BUTTON

AND A CUTE PAW IN YOUR FACE YOU GET BOOPED

[urisk-factor]

Creedock Headcannons!

Alastor sometimes refers to Dock as "his fiend" in an affectionate manner.

Bandy, after finding out that Dock and Alastor are married, secretly started referring to Dock as a dalf instead of dilf (dad Alastor would like to fuck). If either ever found out he'd surely be in deep shit. (The person who started the whole Dock dilf thing knows who they are.)

Dock will, when he's gone without sleep for a while and is tired, sometimes just boop Alastor's nose. Alastor doesn't mind, and honestly thinks it's sweet.

Alastor is the only person who's seen Dock without a shirt. Dock doesn't like being seen shirtless because of some scars on his chest, stomach, and shoulders that he's really ashamed of. Alastor doesn't know the source of these scars because Dock refuses to tell anyone, and Alastor doesn't push it.

Dock is one of the few people who can get Alastor to smile an actually happy smile, and laugh and actually joyful laugh.

Once a month, they have a movie night. They'll sit on the couch, usually Dock will lie down but arch his legs a bit in a triangle, and Alastor will sit on Dock's belly and lean on Dock's legs. Alastor prefers crime, while Dock is 100% horror. They usually watch a mix of both.

If Dock has his mask on and they've been separated for a while, instead of kissing, they'll just gently press their forheads their foreheads together. Sometimes they do this even if Dock doesn't have his mask.

Dock is kind of self conscious about his appearance, and constantly doubts himself, and thinks that anyone complimenting him is lying (totally not me projecting). Alastor is the only person he believes.

Dock has this big warm dark green wooly (?) jumper that he wears out of work. Alastor is constantly stealing it. It's big on Dock but absolutely huge on Alastor.

They constantly steal each other's pens/pencils/other writing tools. I like to imagine Alastor writing something in a pen that's covered in dried blood, and someone points it out, and he's like "oh, I'm borrowing it from my husband."

Bandy once called Alastor Mama, and Dock Papa. Lance joined in. Alastor is officially the Jury Mum and Dock the Jury Dad. (Lorelei and Diana are wine aunts.)

Both Kings of zoning out.

Sometimes Alastor and Dock will just quietly hook their pinkies. It reassures them.

Dock always greets Alastor with "Ceud mìle fàilte!"

They sometimes jokingly mock each other's accents. Alastor's is a very posh English accent from the London area, while Dock's is more Highlands in Scotland area. (Or the Heartless equivalent).

Alastor is a city boy while Dock is from a small village surrounded by extraordinary hills and vast lochs. Alastor visited Dock's home town and literally fell in love with it.

Alastor was the one to ask Dock to start dating, Dock was the one to pop the question.

Dock has a weighted blanket, and once put it on Alastor. Alastor liked it, even if he couldn't actually move.

Dock has to hide his snacks in high up cupboards, because Alastor will randomly crave very bitter and sour sweets, and there is no stopping that little man.

Their wedding was small, virtually no one was there sans for a few old friends (Diana was among that group). They didn't have a honeymoon, but didn't want one. Every anniversary, they make a big meal and dine by candle light.

Sometimes Dock will fall asleep on the couch and Alastor will stumble across him after a while, and join him.

They both have a very dark and morbid sense of humour.

They both like listening to the other talk about their interests, even if they themselves don't understand it. They're just happy to see the other happy.

Dock likes to drop little Gaelic phrases into conversation with Alastor, and Alastor likes to do the same back. Dock usually starts it.

They both have their own little version of morse code so they can communicate without others knowing so.

Sometimes Dock puts little braids in Alastor's hair, like Astrid with Hiccup in httyd, and Alastor leaves them in until he has to wash his hair (which is a lot or else it gets really greasy).

Ok but just a thought, what if Alastor was a vampire and Dock was half giant half fallen angel. Immortal husbands.

Alastor wasn't very fond of the colour green before he met Dock, now it's his favourite (although he'd never admit it because he thinks the concept of having a favourite colour is unprofessional).

Alastor absolutely cannot pick up Dock's boots at all. (They're big, as I mentioned in another post, reaching Dock's knees. They're all black, with steel toes and soles, and there's a little plate at the heel. They have several straps and buckles, and one has a chair around the ankle from some idiot's attempt to contain Dock. They have some complicated lacing, the soles are large and made to be durable, and there are a few silver markings on them.) Dock makes sure to always put them away carefully so they don't block anything Alastor might need access to.

They have a massive pride flag in the living room.

Neither likes summer. It's too hot. Alastor because he has to take off his coat - the very coat that brings comfort to him. Dock because look at all the layers he's wearing.

Alastor is sometimes too nervous to ask Dock to bend down for a kiss, so he'll either climb up onto a counter or just climb Dock.

[random-introverted-blog]

If you boop me and think I'm not booping back, fret not, the boops do come. This is a sideblog, pardners *tips hat*

[pianoperson]

50 Reasons Why You Should Love Jonah Clemence

Because Jonah is loveable 😤

His name is very beautiful. It’s a common name but with a different pronunciation that just makes it suddenly 10000x more sophisticated.

He’s the Queen of Hearts. That’s a big sexy title.

He’s got gorgeous eyes that will pull you towards him like a magnet.

He’s got a sexy ass smirk, like COME ON, YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU WEREN’T WEAKENED BY THAT SMIRK AT ONE POINT

He’s got beautiful hair that managed to confuse the whole fandom as to what fucking color it is JDJSHHDJDJJD

Boi will spend all his money just for you (at least, you think he spent all his money until you stumbled upon his secret vault somewhere in Cradle because THAT MAN HAS TOO MUCH MONEY)

He loves sweets. Like, really really love sweets

Follow up on 7, get you a man who can satisfy your stomach and satisfy his own along with you because eating together is one of the best ways to spend time together 😌

Boi is strong enough to protect you, have you seen his third route CG?

HE BLUSHYYYYYYYYY AND POUTYYYYYYYY DON’T YOU WANNA SEE THE MAN BLUSHY AND POUTY

You can make Jonah wear only a trash bag, and he will still look like the most beautiful human in existence

He’ll scold his colleagues for their eating/drinking habits. He cares about their health, man

Loves his brother so so much, get you a man who would support his family

Jonah is voiced by the lovely lovely Natsuki Hanae, facking music to the ears 😩👌

This man can sing, like he can sing for you if you want a lullaby 😭

Follow up on 15, BOI JUST HUMS AND SKIPS WHEN HE’S HAPPY LIKE THAT IS SO PURE

This boi took his brother out of the house as kids to see the stars at midnight just to see his brother happy

Follow up on 17, THIS BOI WOULD TAKE YOU OUT ON A MIDNIGHT WALK JUST FOR YOU TO SEE THE STARS AND MAKE YOU SMILE

Jonah’s fated to get drenched one way or another every time he visits the Lake of Tears HAHAHAHAHA

THIS MAN HAS SO MUCH DUALITY I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START

Boi would be all cute and blushy one second, and the next, he’s got you weak on the knees with his sultry voice and sexy sexy smirk

You think he’s an angel? Well okay, he can be, but beware when you get in bed with him, because he’s going to reveal his inner devil in the sheets 🤡

He has a hamster for a pet just because he thinks hamsters are cute. How precious is that?

BOI GIVES HUGGIES like among the guys in the game, Jonah’s the one who’s given the most heartwarming hugs to his Alice 🥺🥺🥺 ... that or the tunnel vision is intense DHDHHSHDHJD

THIS BOI MANAGED TO GLARE ONE (1) TIME AND MADE AMON JABBERWOCK SHIT HIS PANTS WHAT A QUEEN

Just. This line. “I didn’t know it was crime to be beautiful amongst you Black Army louts.”

HE CARES ABOUT THE HAPPINESS OF THE PEOPLE HE’S CLOSE TOlike in Edgar’s route, he’s all like, “is it strange that I genuinely want Edgar to be happy?” LIKE PRECIOUS BOIIII

Would eat proscuitto as he watches Kyle suffer at the hands of Edgar Bright

Jonah may call himself beautiful, but he lowkey hates it because it reminds him that he was bullied because the bullies found him cute please hold this man

He’s a tsundere but his tsun is so so cute like you just wanna poke him every time he’s tsun

Speaking of tsun, it’s funny and cute, but he’s insecure about being seen as weak or vulnerable and his tsun-ness is sort of a consequence of that so please hold him some more

HIS TYPE OF WOMAN IS SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT LOVE HIM FOR HIS LOOKS BUT SOMEONE WHO LOVES HIM FOR WHO HE IS BECAUSE HE IS TIRED OF PEOPLE CALLING HIM BEAUTIFUL

Man is PRUDENT AND NOBLE AF like mm yes, drink that righteousness juice 😌👌

You try to make his Alice a hostage for him to not attack you? HAHA JOKES ON YOU, JONAH’S WAY TOO FAST FOR YOU TO KEEP ALICE IN YOUR CLUTCHES FOR LONG

He can AND will save you, he’s got dumb willpower that gets him through frankly anything

He smells good. What kind of scent, idk. But he smells good.

He’ll buy your cologne. Chances are your cologne is the same as his or the female version of it.

This man WILL say “I love you” unlike some guys............ I mean come on, actions speak louder than words, but hearing your man say “I love you” wouldn’t hurt, right?

BOI CAN PLAY A SHIT TON OF INSTRUMENTS BECAUSE HE WAS TAUGHT AS A KID AND I AM STILL NOT OVER THIS FACT TO THIS DAY

He can’t do laundry, he’ll just spin his jacket just to remove the water out of it. Boi even dreamt once that he tried and failed to fold a towel LMAO

He’s a perfectionist *chef’s kiss* and will put in all his effort to anything

This man CANNOT lie to save his ass, like stan that honesty

GET 👏 YOURSELF 👏 A 👏 LOYAL 👏 MAN 👏 LIKE 👏 JONAH 👏 IF THIS MAN CAN STICK TO LANCELOT’S SIDE FOR 17 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING, HE WOULD DEFINITELY STICK TO YOUR SIDE FOR LIFE

This. Line. “Even if the entire world becomes my enemy, I won’t allow you to get hurt. I will keep you safe, no matter what.”

HE WOULD WAIT IN THE RAIN, ALL DRENCHED AND SOAK, JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE NOT KIDNAPPED OR ANYTHING

Jonah grew stronger from the boy who was bullied easily because he thought of the people who cared for him. 🥺🥺🥺

This man would boop your nose. You can boop his nose back.

This man would tire his poor horse travelling across the country just to make sure you’re not sick

Jonah would do anything to see your smile. In fact, this boi already made it his top priority to see your smile at the beginning of his damn route and put his mission of seducing Alice as second.

His smirk may be hot and his pout may be the cutest thing on earth, but it’s his smile that makes the whole world even brighter than the sun could ever hope to do. Just... God, the amount of times Jonah’s smile in his romantic made me feel so much happier during hard times.

BONUS: Jonah sometimes forgets that he’s human. Please help him.

,,,, it feels like there are still many more reasons to love Jonah Clemence,,,

[potatosoldier]

Are you still there? /Part 6/

I sat quietly in our barrack in Camp Shanks, New York City. It was so surreal that tomorrow we would be going to set our foot out from our home country. It made all of this so sickeningly real 

Skip who had just been laughing with Penk and Don, decided to plop next to me onto my bunk.

 “Ahh!”

And in the process bump me onto the floor. The shocked look on his face was too hilarious. “Sorry, sorry, fuck sorry Bambi”, he mutters as he scurries up and helps me once again to plop next to him.

I giggle softly and shake my head. “Don’t worry Skip”,I pat his head gently as he too chuckles. Then he turns more serious and makes it clear that he wants to have a more private conversation. We both turn so that we are on our sides facing each other, with our hands under our heads like sleeping children. Luckily being private wasn’t that hard in the noise the men were making. 

“you seemed pretty bummed about getting the pass to the city”, he starts softly. “I mean you don’t drink, and you usually spend the free time in the base anyway. I’m just curious to what was so special now?”, He finishes. I sigh. I could lie to him and make up a believable story about how I wanted to see the city before stepping out, or then I could be true to him the way he has always been to me. 

“I was going to spend time with my husband”, I whisper. His eyes widen at my confession. “He’s here?”, he whispers urgently. I nod, my heart racing so hard it feels like it’s on run to my mouth. I gulp and reach into my shirt where lies a ring on a chain with my cross. And on the ring there is a small engraving of my husbands name. 

I gently take the chain off and pass the ring to him. He takes a little time to inspect it and get his eyes work in the bad lighting. Then his eyes widen and mouth opens. I quickly jump up and slam my hand onto his mouth. 

“What the hell are you two doing?”, comes the voice of George Luz. I turn sharply and grab my ring away from Skip. “Talking”, I answer quickly. He just raises his brows and blows out some smoke. Then makes a face and nods. I turn back to Skip with a serious expression and mouth: “No ONE”

He just grins and smiles. “Not gonna have my Bambi thrown to the wolves”, he says tenderly and boops my nose. I breath out and smile back. It felt good to let it out. Skip was so dear to me, it always felt so wrong to keep lying to him. 

It also felt very odd to be sleeping with the men. I was now officially put into their barracks. Sink’s orders: “You’re familiar now, safe to start blending in.” And it was true, I felt more in touch with the men now. Even if Bill laughed at me because I was too scared to come down from the top bed of a bunk bed. Which lead to Bull gently lifting me down:

“There we go ma’am safely on the ground”

“Please, if I ever get a daughter, let them marry a gentleman with your manners”

I take a hold of Don’s watch and see it’s already 7.30. Shoot, I need to find Joe. “Joe!”, I shout and in my turn plop down onto his bed, like the true lady I am sitting with my posture perfect and ankles crossed. 

“Ye ready to go, Bambi?”, he asks and I nod. He slowly gets up and stretches his back. “Well off with us then”. And so he starts singing once again. A strangely pleasant and soothing sound.

I had asked Joe to escort me to the officers barracks tonight. I wanted to see Dick before we leave. If this was the last time I saw him, I didn’t want it to be just a brief tender moment. 

Once we made it to Dick’s barrack, he was already sitting on the steps with his garrison cap on and the dress greens too. I was still in my skirt, but the cap and the hobby jacket were long forgotten. 

“Thank you, Joe”, Dick nods to Joe as a dismissal. “My pleasure lieutenant”, Joe smiles and takes off. I turn to my husband with a tender grin. 

“I’ve missed you”, I whisper and put my hand on his abdomen. Just to soothe me that he’s actually there. 

“We’ve been together most of the day”; he chuckles. I shake my head still smiling. “Not like we used to be”, I whisper a little strained. His brows furrow as he brushes my hair behind me ear. He then sighs and cups my face kissing me longingly. 

His lips are always so, so warm and soft. The warmth and softness wasn’t the concrete feeling maybe, but it was the feeling that brushed my heart. I didn’t notice the tears streaming down my face before he pulled back. My hands were still around his waist, and his now cupping my neck. 

“Don’t cry, darling, not right now”, he whispers and kisses my tears away gently. “We should probably go a little further, someone could walk here any minute”, he then adds. 

I nod and give him a small kiss onto his adam’s apple, before moving to grasp his arm. Moments like this reminded me so much of our first meeting, well first time we actually got the words out of our mouths. 

3rd of May 1936

It was an early morning as Sonja Savolainen was smiling and singing in front of a group of young girls who were singing along with her. They all had their hymnals and catechisms out and smiles on their faces.

Sonja was only 18 and now substituting her aunt as a Sunday school teacher. She was a young, timid girl with a sharp head on her shoulders. Teaching the small girls during the Sunday service was something she thrived on. She was always very lonely with the people her age, not really having the will to socialize, the courage chat and having a strange accent to go and to top that a strong interest in education and research, had quickly left her the odd one out. 

Her mother had always said that she is too curious for her own good, but Sonja never saw it as a flaw. She wanted to learn more about everything, and she dreamed of a husband who would support her and be ready to built a whole corner of the world just for them. 

She was as pure and proper as a young lady could be. She worked hard in her parents farm, she rarely cursed and tutored children. All in all, she was a kind human being. But with the standards she set for herself, she ended up being self-destructive. 

“Alright, alright, children. We can sing more next week, I will still be here. Ms. Miller will come back soon, I promise”, she grins. All the eight girls were so sweet, and such dedicated little things. There was this one girl Lena, who had hard time reading, but Sonja promised to tutor her on Friday nights while she still was in Lancaster. In a months time she would be going back to Ham Lake, Minnesota. 

Slowly the girls get picked up by their parents. Sonja getting numerous hugs from the children and thanks from grateful mothers and fathers. And bless Lena’s mother who had brought her a small piece of raisin bread as thanks for her teaching. 

Now only ones left in the room were Sonja and small six-year-old Ann Winters. “Ann, darling, isn’t your mother picking you up?”,Sonja asks softly and kneels next to the still brightly smiling girl. Ann cutely shows her teeth as she giggles. “No, Ms.Sonja. my big brother will come though, he’s probybly lost.” Sonja smiles and almost giggles at the way the girl pronounces probably. 

“Well we shall wait for him, I’ll stay with you until he finds his way. Maybe you can draw him a map for the next time?”,she chuckles. 

��ohh, It can be like a treasure map, ‘cept the treasure is me”, Ann giggles making Sonja’s heart warm with her adorable little idea. 

“What a sweet treasure you are”, she says and taps the little girls nose. Their chat is interrupted by a knock on the door. Sonja quickly rises and goes to open it. 

“Hello, you...m-must be Ann’s brother”, Sonja almost whispers the last part as she looks at the man before her. There stands a tall, red-headed man with the softest blue eyes. Sonja bites her lip, he was stunning. 

Richard almost as red as his hair, as he looks at the woman. He was never the most confident with girls and he hadn’t expected his sister’s Sunday school teacher to be a pretty young lady. 

“I-I am, ma’am. Richard Winters”, he says and offers his hand. Sonja takes it smiling softly “Sonja Savolainen, please come in”, she almost whispers again. His hand is so warm and big, in contrast to her own small and as her brother said it, delicate, but chubby hands. 

Ann almost screams as she sees Richard. Richard grins and helps his sister get dressed and takes her catechism for safety keeping. “Dick, imma make you a big big map, and you will find big big me!”, she giggles enthusiastically. Sonja’s heart pumps so fast as she looks at the man. He is so calm so soothing, at least from the five seconds she’s interacted with him. 

“Forgive me ma’am for keeping you waiting, is there anything I could help with?”, he asks as he takes Ann’s hand and tries to keep her from jumping to the roof. Sonja really can’t stop her heart from jumping like Ann. 

“oh, no no , Ann is a very well behaved girl. It was a pleasure”,she says and starts to gather her own things. “off you two go, I can manage”, she finishes. Richard smiles at her softly. His own heart beating so fast that he cannot get the words to of “thank you, truly” out from his mouth. 

“Goo’bye Ms.Sonja!” Ann says and waves. Richard smiles and offers his free hand to shake again. “Thank you ma’am, we-we will probably see each other again”, he gulps. Sonja bites her lip again and takes his hand. 

“Lets hope so”, she says and then blushes blood red. Why did she have to say that. My god, why did she have to be so forward. Richard takes one look at her warm chocolate eyes again, nods and then takes off with his little sister. 

The moment their eyes had met, their souls were bound. 

Present

I grin stupidly at the memory. We finally find a dark corner where we can sit and talk in peace. We take a seat on this big rock with our arms still wrapped together. 

“You alright?”, he whispers as he looks at my grin. I nod and cup his cheek with my free hand. “You seem to be awfully in your head tonight”, he then adds. 

“Just thinking of you”, I answer and giggle as he still after all this years manages to blush. “Do you think that the lot we were looking at could be free in a couple years?”, I suddenly ask. He shrugs.

“If we get enough money from here, we can start making an offer”, he says quietly. “But we still need some money to built the house, so we’d still have to live in the barn.” I can see the pain in his eyes as he says those words. 

I smile at him tenderly now stroking his brow and take his garrison cap off. “I don’t really care, the barracks are even more uncomfortable. And in the barn I’ll have you”, I try to soothe. He smiles a little strained as he seems too to be deep in thought. 

“I did carry you over that threshold”, he says. I give him a sound kiss. “yes, you did”, I grin. 

Then his face turns grim. “And next time I carried you we were both covered in your blood”, he swallows. My grin fades and the tears try to gather again. I shake my head and kiss him softly again. I leave my face so close to his that our noses are touching. “I’m still here, Richie, and no one is taking me away”, I whisper. He presses his forehead against mine strongly and closes his eyes. 

He then presses his lips to mine with urgency. He maneuvers me so that I’m sitting sideways on his lap, his hands firmly supporting my waist. I deepen the kiss and press as close to him as physically possible with our clothing on. His other hand goes to cup the back of my head as I tangle my hands into his fire red hair. 

It feels so good to kiss him, to feel his arms around me. But it’s torture, because I want him, I need him. And this was only stoking the already existing fire. 

 When he pulls away I can see his pained face. 

“I-I need you, but I can’t do this. Not like this”, he says his voice rough, his bedroom voice. I can feel him against me. It all makes me so needy that I almost feel ashamed. It would, if I didn’t love this man as a part of my soul. 

And that’s how we sit. For an hour and a half. Trying to calm ourselves, softly talking, kissing and praying. 

@iilovemusic12us​

[ducktracy]

176. porky’s garden (1937)

release date: september 11th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: mel blanc (porky, chickens), george humbert (neighbor), earle hodgins (salesman)

this would be tex avery’s final black and white cartoon until 1941, and his second to last porky cartoon. how time flies! i enjoy his porky entries a lot. the blow out, the village smithy, and of course porky’s duck hunt are all shorts of his that i find myself coming back to frequently. but, of course, greater tex cartoons lie ahead. interestingly enough, this is also the second and final credit for animator elmer wait, who passed away in july of 1937. chuck jones once described him as “a fine young assistant animator who died too young." i’ve heard speculation that tex’s little-known character elmer fudd was named in wait’s honor--i’m not sure if it was that, or the fact that every other cartoon character in the 1930′s was named elmer, but this is a claim i can find myself believing with more conviction than other animation claims. for now, we visit farmer porky, who’s eager to enter the local contest for the largest home grown product. however, his stereotypical italian neighbor seeks to out-perform him at any cost.

this cartoon is a peculiar anomaly in the tex avery-verse, in that it feels much more like the 1936 avery porky cartoons than the 1937 bunch—and almost deliberately, too. the cartoon starts off very similarly to his first directorial entry, gold diggers of ‘49, laying out the time (1927), the place (podunk center), and the population 500 502 — mrs. castle bottom just had twins!). though tex would constantly reuse gags all throughout his career (and quite well, often elevating the hyperactivity of the gag), it’s rather uncharacteristic for him to reuse a gag for nostalgic purposes. nevertheless, the opening is amusing, and faster paced than its facsimile over at gold diggers of ‘49. the sound of the baby wail as the 500 is replaced with 502 is an extra bonus.

a sign gag featuring the tried and true income tax gag (which has been used, and will continue to be used, in a number of cartoons--tex’s milk and money is another porky entry that uses this gag):

porky is amongst the group crowding around the sign, joyfully declaring that he’s going to win first prize with his garden. cue the antagonist of the picture, porky’s curious italian neighbor, voiced by george humbert. humbert was an italian actor, starring in a large number of hollywood films throughout the ‘30′s and ‘40′s. if i recall, bob clampett once mentioned that tex would go to the movies to get ideas, no doubt his reasoning for getting humbert to do the cartoon. humbert’s vocals shine and add a lot of vitality to this otherwise tame entry. speaking of, italian neighbor is quick to contradict porky: “ohohohoho no, i gonna ween with my cheeken!” with that, he leapfrogs over porky, who is quick to bumble along after him.

we get a brief overhead shot of the two neighbors and their respective houses, the overhead shot once again calling back to earlier porky entries such as milk and money. the competitors both go to their gardens to out-perform the other. cue a short gardening sequence with porky, who uses his straightened out tail to dig holes in the soil, big enough to drop seeds in. his neighbor, on the other hand, concocts a meal full of vitamins and tonics for his chickens cheekens, narrating all the way. the underscore is a stalling favorite, “chicken reel”, and if my memory is correct, i BELIEVE this is the first instance it’s used in a warner bros. short? cue a seemingly arbitrary cut back to porky, who finishes the job of planting. back to the neighbor who summons his chickens to eat his mystery feed of who-knows-what. the chickens dig in... only to halt, spit out the food, and hold their noses (beaks) in disgust. great timing--the drawings especially of the chickens rejecting the food feel quite avery-esque, which is nice: it’s always nice to feel the personal touches of the director.

cut back to porky, a cue of “carolina in the morning” (which is impossible for me to hear without thinking of daffy kaye’s rendition of it in the anomaly that is book revue) underscoring his plan to use hair growth tonic as a means of growing a quick, hearty, full harvest. the scene is cute, yet sluggish--if the cartoon were made even 5 years later, it would have been twice as fast, if not more so. nevertheless, his plan works: the ground shakes beneath him, and crops as tall as the eye can see spurt out from the soil. satisfied, old pigdonald strolls inside, “uh-veh-vuh-vo-do-de-oh”ing and “uh-uh-eh-beh-beh-boop-de-oop”ing all the way along (to remind our audience that this cartoon takes place in 1927--because, why not, right?)

meanwhile, pesky neighbor pops his head over the fence, equally as impressed with the results as porky. perfect food to fatten up the cheekens! the animation of the neighbor is rich and full, humbert’s vocals of course magnifying the quality. with that, the neighbor loosens up one of the boards in the fence, sparking the feeding frenzy: “come an’ get it!”

the chickens do just that. calling back to the days of porky the rain-maker (where there were vegetable gags galore), we get a montage of semi-amusing “chickens eating vegetables in creative ways” gags. one chicken uses a tomato vine as a straw, sucking out the pulp from all of the tomatoes connected. another rolls a line of peas straight into its mouth, rolling up the shell like a toothpaste tube. 

though the gags rouse polite chuckles at most today, the most uproarious gag is the last one: a chicken and a baby chick fight over a watermelon. big cheeken asserts its authority by flicking the baby chick away, spouting tearful insults at the bully chicken. just then, fortune: the chick spots a patch of spinach, the seeds belonging to jones (yes, that chuck jones--whose birthday is today! happy birthday, chuck!) garden company. i can’t say this with staunch certainty, but i do have reason to believe that this cartoon was backlogged for a few months: chuck jones would have been at bob clampett’s unit during the time of this cartoon’s release, but the allusion to his name, the animation of this scene looking peculiarly reminiscent of bob clampett’s animation, and the lack of irv spence animation leads me to believe as such. nevertheless, as you may be able to surmise, the chick transforms into a caricature of popeye, complete with jack mercer-esque mumblings and popeye speak. the newly transformed chick socks the chicken right in the face, usurping the half-eaten watermelon slice and gobbling it down all in one go. easily the highlight of the cartoon, and a gag that can be appreciated regardless of time period.

one last eating gag of a chicken plucking a ripe worm from an apple (fittingly scored to “in the shade of the old apple tree”). the joke suffers from constipated timing, more on the part of carl stalling than the animator. there is a nice, quick, shiver take as the chicken attempts to rip the apple open into two halves. fade out.

fade back in on the feeding frenzy. porky takes notice, and is not happy about it. he does a lumbering, quick little run that calls back to the 1936 porky entries where he was much more short and squat (virgil ross animation?), zooming out of screen, then back in again to retrieve a nearby broom. porky swats the chickens frantically, but to no avail: despite his angry demands for them to get out, they continue to eat.

virgil ross animates the next scene as porky confronts his neighbor: “hey, n-nn-ne-neighbor, eh-teh-teh-tell your cheh-cheh-cheh-chi-chickens to keep outta my uh-geh-eh-geh-eh-geh-garden!” the neighbor complies, his vocals hilariously disingenuous as he haggles with the chickens, who, predictably ignore him. thus sparks an overly-profuse string of excuses from the neighbor, who doth protest too much. “you see? i talk to them! but a-they don’t listen to me!” he pauses. “i’m too sorry for you.” another pause, just as we think he’s finished. “...but i cannot talk-a cheeken talk!” one more pause. “i can no make-a the cheeken coming out!”

neighbor finally leaves the disgruntled pig to his own devices, laughing as he talks to the audience. “eet’za too bad...” he looks at the audience and gives them a knowing wink as he finishes “but not too bad!” overall, a great scene. humbert’s vocals are divine, as is the comedic timing. porky’s befuddlement by the rapid-fire responses from his neighbor is another plus. 

back to a downtrodden porky, who mournfully sulks along to a succinctly timed rendition of “am i blue?” (if you listen closely, you can hear the beats lining up exactly with his footsteps.) suddenly, a thick vine growing out of the patch catches his eye. he follows the vine, pulling it like a rope... 

and the perfect solution awaits on the other side of the fence: a giant pumpkin! perfect for the harvest contest. 

porky lugs his new prize out from the fence, which instantly attracts the attention of the hungry chickens. spark the ever transformative avery moment, where the cartoon halts to make a big production out of nowhere--in this case, football. the favorite “freddy the freshman” score serves as the backing track of the makeshift football game as the chickens line up to take position: “HIKE!”

the next sequence appears to be animated by chuck jones: porky runs long, pumpkin in hand as he swats away the oncoming rush of chickens. the extra touches of making porky do some twirls and swivels as he attempts to maintain balance are not taken for granted. a nice straight-ahead shot of the football field turned garden, with a trellis in the foreground and clothesline in the background to form goal posts--very clever! 

it’s not the chickens who serve as porky’s pumpkin demise, but rather a spare crate left on the ground. porky trips, horrified as he watches his pumpkin launch into the air and across the yard. we get a tashlin-esque concealed pan as porky darts through his house to retrieve his prize, the action obscured: we only see a brief glimpse of the house’s facade, the drumroll and sound effect of the airborne pumpkin being our only indicator to the success of the stunt. thankfully, porky shuffles out of the other end just in time to catch his pumpkin (topped off with a triumphant “ta-da!” fanfare.) wasting no more time, porky dashes down the road and off to the fair. meanwhile, the neighbor’s chickens are all plumped up, ready to win the first-a prize. 

“the merry go round broke down” scores the scenes at the fair as we catch our hero bumbling along with his prize pumpkin into the fair, neighbor and cheekens not far behind. there’s a line of posters advertising the various attractions at the fair, including a caricature of bobe cannon (once more reinforcing the idea that this cartoon was back-logged: he would have been at the clampett unit by the time of the cartoon’s release.) 

earle hodgins voices the salesman (a specialty of his--he played the pill-peddling salesman in porky the rain-maker, as well as the oil huckster honest john in get rich quick porky) peddling the miracle “reducing pills”. his test subject? an elephant. the salesman pops a pill in the elephant’s mouth, who stares at the audience nonplussed as he shrinks to the size of a mouse... literally. 

the next scene of the salesman is great, as it’s full of energy, zaniness, and fervor. i wonder if it’s a clampett scene? the voice of the salesman rises into astronomical pitch as he describes the size of “teensy, weensy, weensy, bitsy, weensy, teeny little mouse”, capping it all off with a flamboyant “WOO!” and pose. the pose looks similar to the same one struck by daffy in clampett’s entry the henpecked duck 4 years later, hence my reasoning. nevertheless, a great scene of zany eye candy. 

peddling his wares, the salesman accidentally knocks over a spare bottle of reducing pills, right in the trajectory of the passing cheekens. and, predictably, the cheekens devour the pills in no-time.

cue a rather blunt cut to porky, who’s about to receive first prize for his pumpkin, standing on stage and politely soaking in the glory. just as the judge reaches to give him his dough, he halts, spotting the ginormous array of poultry behind the pig. the judge is quick to take back his bag of money, much to the awe of porky (which also gives us this intriguing little error for a few frames). neighbor accepts the bag--that is, until the pills kick in. the chickens revert back to the size of chicks, and there’s just enough comedic pause to let the joke sink in before the chicks revert back to mere eggs. 

we iris out--or so we think. just another declaration of tex’s love of playing with the iris out gags. that is one steamed ham.

not the snappiest entry in the avery repertoire, but not exceedingly dull, either. george humbert steals the show with his acting, and the popeye gag with the chick is wonderfully amusing. the cartoon mainly suffers from sluggish pacing in some parts, tired gags in others, but not enough to exclude a watch-through. it’s a fond look back at the earlier days of tex’s directing, and asserts just how far the cartoons have yet to improve. so, for that, i’d say i’m relatively neutral on whether or not to persuade you to watch it: the porky lover in me and ‘30′s cartoon lover in me say go for it! there are bits of greatness that you should definitely seek out. but it won’t kill you to skip this one either.

here’s the link! (excuse the butchered titles/credits: opening title music is the merry go round broke down which is wrong, and the title card music is the opening to porky’s tire trouble--also wrong, as is the porky “that’s all, folks!” ending over the written script)