#i like being able to just focus without constantly thinking abt food

[swdgf]

ed cw

.

thinking a little too much lately which is a dangerous place to be :-( but ughh it rly does suck that my ed was at its worst when (i feel) i peaked in every other aspect…academically! socially! dating! and all that happens to be when i think i looked best physically(warped perception) sometimes i catch myself romanticizing that period of my life.. but i have to remember the hair loss, the constant migraines, the random heart palpitations, always feeling cold and tired, how abjectly MISERABLE i was

[ashurzs]

Heya! I’m in love with your OCs and have been rereading their stories way too many times so I’d like to make a request!

I’d love to see pervert bf trying to make his wet dreams come true now that reader is back. The idea of bf taking photos of reader while fucking him dumb has me in a chokehold ngl 😋 bf seems like the type to tease reader abt it too. If you’re uncomfortable with this idea feel free to exclude it! I’m alr happy with the food you’ve given us so don’t feel obligated 🫶 love your works!

SMILE FOR ME BABY !

cws: bttm!mreader, video/picture taking, like one sentence of degradation, mostly praise tho!!

“babyy~” your boyfriend, haru, wraps his arms around your waist as he groans. he’s been like this ever since you came back two days ago.. clinging onto, following you, whining like a lost puppy. “i’ve missed you so much..” he sobs out dramatically as he clings onto you.

“you can let go of me you know.. it’s not like i’m gonna-“ “no!” “we’re on the bed?!”

you sigh, trying to pry his hands off of you. “haru!” you whine out, trying to pry his hands off of your waist while constantly trying to wiggle out of his grasp. he sighs and just hugs you tighter, deciding to put his leg over yours.

“baby.. you’re so cute when you look angry,” you see him smile and blush, biting his lower lip. his dyed pink hair, pink nail polish you painted weeks ago, his twinkling eyes and his soft cheeks.

“w..what?” you say, blushing softly. then you quickly shove his face away when he lays on top of you, looking at you as you feel something poke against your thigh. but he grabs your wrist, kissing your fingertips. “please.. pretty boy.?”

“h-haru! fuck.. wait- you’re so.. big-“ you struggle to say it properly as he continues to push himself inside of you, kissing your tears and holding your hand. honestly, he is quite sweet and is very cute, but he’s..

“can i record you baby?” “huh.?” you blink through the tears, whining and gripping his hand tighter when you feel him fully inside. “record,” he says again, waiting for your signal to finally be able to fuck your tight hole. “so when you leave again for work.. i have something to jack off to.” he says while using the hand that was on your waist to rub the skin softly, a way to calm the pain down maybe?

“you’re.. shameless for asking that without stuttering..” you say out. nodding your head, he smirks. “why should i be ashamed of my pretty baby being fucked dumb hm?” he says, unwrapping his hands from yours and using them to grip at your waist. “my precious boy.. don’t think okay? jus focus on my cock mhm?”

haru smirks as he watches you arch your back, biting your arm and muffling his name like chants while he continues to grip at your waist with his left hand and thrust into you. grabbing his phone and going to his camera, he presses record. he makes sure to get everything. from the way your cock slaps against your stomach to the way your back arches, from your muffled moans and just barely shy of your face. “feels good huh? moaning my name like it’s the only word you know..” he coos mockingly, smirking once he hears a gasped moan. “yeah? right there?”

he continues to abuse that same spot, recording the way the hand that had previously been gripping at the sheets go to his wrists. “haru haru haru~” he copies you as he giggles, whiningly cursing as he watches you cum all over your stomach, the sight of your hidden face, sweaty body mixed with your cum is enough for him to cum as well, filling you up with soft thrusts to help you calm down. “you okay?” “a-ahuh..” “great.”

“fuck- even if i came in you twice, you still clench around me like you want more like a pathetic whore.” he says, watching you hiccup and sob from the overstimulation. he wasn’t even hitting your prostate though.. “p-please.! l-last one.. no more haruu,!” you beg while he smirks. pressing record once more, he stops thrusting and focuses the camera on your messy hair and tearful expression. leaning forward, he fixes the hair out of your eyes while watching through the camera. you let him, looking at him with doe eyes and pouty lips.

he gulps. he’s done for, you’re so fucking pretty on his phone. “smile for me baby.”

he feels himself smile too, watching as you comply with his request so easily. snapping a picture, he presses record once more. “good boys who listen deserve good cock right?” the phone captures your nods and soft begs. “fuck- if only you’d be able to get pregnant huh?”

pulling out and recording one last time, he captures his cum leaking out of your hole. smiling to himself, he tosses his phone and lays next to you. “i missed you.” he says simply, pushing your hair back and away from your forehead. “fuck off..”

you listen to him talk and ramble, feeling his hand on your back while he plays with your hair. you feel comfortable, just being in his chest and hearing his heart beats while he talks. closing your eyes, you feel the hit of exhaustion that washes over you like a tidal wave.

..

wait, pregnant.?

hey chatt.. um.. grabs ukulele and sings apology for being dead knowing damn well im not gna post for another month or two

ALLOSOSSOOO THANK YOU FOR BIG 300 HELPP I LOVE U ALL CONSENSUALLY THANK U FOR READING MY LITTLE DRABBLES !!

oh yeah pervert bf is now haru! (tbh i took his name from my j.ai bot that i made and i realized hey they seem the same tbh but yup, i could prooobably link him but yaknow!)

[kimnjss]

Oh thank fuck. Also at this point YN getting on my nerves. HJ thought they were going back to being fwb and her friends do not like him, why she constantly bringing him places/inviting them? Her whole gc said no to food just because he was there, come on now. Also I'm proud of Hobi for getting straight to the point and being honest about his feelings.

Also Arya... I will smack her upside the head. Like a part of me knows she doesn't simply want to ignore it just not to end up being a cheater, but maybe let's focus on finding out if it's true before doing anything else.

it took hoseok a little while nd some of jeongguk’s great advice, but he was finally able to step up and talk to yn the way he should’ve from the start . it’s weird with hj nd yn ., they constantly use each other as a rebound ., but they still hang out without having sex . so he did think they’d go back to sleeping together this time around nd when they weren’t he was just like... okay . her friends don’t like him tho nd that’s for so many reasons ., nd they’re not quiet abt it so when she asks she already knows the answer . 

it’s like they don’t know jeongguk at all . he wouldn’t let anything happen with them (but it’s also questionable bc he always has something to say) getting to the bottom of it though would be the smartest thing for her to do . 

[aijee]

tw // mentions of rape

imo u shouldn’t stop updating bc of the accusations against mg. headlines were fucking misleading, i actually thought he raped someone at first bcos of the word choice. ure writing about his public persona, not him irl. we dk him either way so is not like ure violating something or breaking ur morals or whatever. op literally stated that mg never made any comments towards her or touched her in any way, he just made jokes that made her uncomfortable but never directed to her, she explicitly said that mg was not the cause for her to go to therapy & the bullying accusations have been proven to be fake. i-carats decided to translate the new SA accusations without being fluent in korean and that caused a huge misunderstanding, that’s why k- and j- carats have been calmer about it. u shouldn’t believe the screenshots of the other op either bcos there has also been a lot of inconsistencies of them, like the time stamp with the battery issue, etc. due to some mistranslations, all of us thought that the chest touching person was a girl when it’s a guy, inconsistencies like that make the this op more invalid cuz with changes happening constantly, the story becomes less believable, hope yk what i mean. fuck i-carats for mistranslating and blaming him for everything, and for making this issue more complicated than it has to be, like with the chest op. they’re even the cause some ppl don’t believe anything. sorry if i sound like an asshole but i’m mad. if he did make the comments, i believe he’s most likely changed. i used to make rape jokes but now i definitely know better. pretty sure he does as well, yk how the treats ppl now, how gentle and kind he is now, etc. however, if he did touch the guy, obviously i will not support him anymore. i’m not trying to defend him but i’m clearing some things up. hope ure neutral abt this. have a good day & really hope u don’t stop updating.

Thank you for your honesty and raw feelings, anon. It’s okay to be mad and have feelings, especially when those feelings aren’t exactly good feelings. Unrelated to the actual Situation(tm), my therapist told me something like, “Try thinking of feelings as just feelings. They come and go. They aren’t necessarily reflective of you as a person.” I thought that my bad feelings or opinions of others prevented me from being good or a functioning person. Fact: people are multifaceted as hell and that’s valid.

Re: morals, that’s fair insight for sure. I think my hesitation comes with the inherent visualization and association of that persona with the person himself, if that makes sense. E.g. when I’m reading RPF, I still visualize the faces of the individuals involved like actors in my mind. In that sense, perhaps it’s a personal discomfort mixing with morals with regard to writing RPF with a certain name and face in mind, who happen to be attached to a persona/person attached to allegations that may or may not be true. In short, it’s messy and vague and I’m still in the middle of figuring things out myself.

I have and always will be a proponent of professional, paid translations—as in, looking towards people who translate for a living. Professional translation is extremely serious work; imagine how important it is in medicine, law, business? There is always a doubtful voice in my head towards fan translations, regardless of the content. That’s not to undermine the hard work of people learning another language, engaging in content they enjoy, wanting to share it with people, etc. But in very serious cases that could possibly really, really hurt people, I will never fully trust translations I can’t pin to a reliable source. It’s easy to reflexively trust fan translations since they objectively control so much of international fans’ consumption of content. It’s also easy for international fans to fixate on wordings in translations when suddenly the faves are doing something questionable (Do we question fansubs on casual videos? Not really). In reality what we need to focus on is the ideas presented, because translations will never be 100% accurate, especially those done by fans.

If it gives you any perspective, an interesting problem for POC’s healthcare experience is that bilingual kids of monolingual parents are often pinned as the “translator.” Yes, they’re able to communicate in multiple languages, but the specificity of the information presented, and the importance of detail, can be lost in translation, even for those who grew up learning two languages natively. Why? Because they don’t learn the minutiae of translation. You’ll often see professional translators constantly using references, relearning things over and over again, etc. Normal multilingual people focus on getting messages across, not those tiny, tiny details. Food for thought.

How people approach, perceive and interact with people attached to abuse is a very messy thing. There is very rarely a “right” answer. I fully support your approach with whatever happens, whether it stays the same or evolves. For my two cents, I think it’s important to remember that the most important relationship in this moment remains that of Mingyu with the potential victim(s) involved; we hold our relationships with our faves so sacred, but I’m just putting that out there for some more perspective I personally think is important. And a third cent: there are people really close to me in my life who have, frankly, abused me. That’s partly why I’m seeing a therapist. But that doesn’t mean I fully reject them, or will never harbor good feelings towards them ever. Abusive behavior can still be exhibited by fundamentally good people, as paradoxical as that sounds. People are capable of growth; goodness and badness aren’t necessarily inherent and unchangeable. I fully respect and admire you for owning your emotions like that! That can be hard to do comfortably.

I’m not invalidating your response whatsoever! At least, that’s not my intention. I just wanted to present some things to think about. It’s also okay if your opinions don’t or do change. It’s still pretty early in the fiasco.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[zenosanalytic]

THE SACRED TEXTS!! EPISODE 2

So I finished Season 2 of Clone Wars(2008) ~the end of last week and, while it def improves on some of the problems of s1, it then has all sorts of OTHER problems of its own, so I kinda consider it A Wash, in general :T

the highlights:

Season to Season, there’s a lot more F U N in s2. I just LOVE how Crunchy and Genre it is. The stand outs, to me, were the zombies/bodysnatchers in the Brain Invader arc, the King Kong Kaiju story in the Zillo Beast arc(complete with an origin in environmental devastation), and, of course, the loving homage to/mashup of Die Hard&Lassie that is R2 Come Home, which basically had me laughing from start to finish. The other attempts at genre eps generally fell flat(though Holocron Heist has one very good moment with the unsuspecting droid-bomb, and the specific submarine bits of the submarine ep, Cat and Mouse, were well done).

They really nailed the “Ahsoka’s problems are because of Anakin’s influence” bit in this season. There aren’t a LOT of eps that touch on this(I can only really think of one, really, Cargo of Doom) but they absolutely bullseye it in that one. They also do a better job of fleshing out Anakin and Ahsoka’s dynamic&how that can act as both a strength and a weakness, though I do feel they could have done a better job with it(for instance, the last 3rd or 4th of Weapons Factory, where Ahsoka and Bariss are trapped within the ruins of the factory, should have been a whole episode on its own; this would have been a great opportunity to focus on this&do some character work)

This season repeatedly contrasts Anakin and Mace, which was Gr8 and Interesting. I wish they’d done more of that.

It continues season one’s excellent handling of the Clones. While there aren’t as many clone-centric episodes, you still get both a good sense of their individuality and humanity(espcl with The Deserter), and also their Awful and Grotesque disposability to everyone with responsibility over them, even the ones who “care” about them like Anakin, who’s constantly throwing their lives away on ill-conceived assaults. Like: this season REALLY forefronts Clone deaths in a way that is inescapable without being over-wrought, belabored, or distractingly self-aware. It really highlights the Jedis’ hypocrisy, both re: their ideology reifying “life”/“soul”/”naturalness” and in how it leads to their general disdain/disinterest for droids.

I liked the relationship they built btw Boba and Aurra Sing, though I think they could have done more with it than they did.

the Spider-Assassin droids in Voyage of Temptation are Hot-As-Shit, but the whole premise which allows their utility, of a luxury-liner with crappy lighting in the cargo-hold&soldiers without flipping flashlights, was kinda dumb.

as for the stuff I didnt like:

WOW the racism sure is awful in this season! Just... non-humanoid aliens being called monsters, portrayed as untrustworthy, stupid, and needlessly violent, and killed off in a series that goes extravagantly out of its way NOT to kill non-clone humanoids left-and-right. And the Mandalorians all looking... EXACTLY THE SAME and... BEING TALL BLONDE AND SUPER PALE... when the only mandalorian we’ve encountered before this was MAURI and when the CANON on Mandalorians is that being “A follower of Mandalore” is very much a culture and ethos rather than an ethnic group...

I feel like the Mandalorian part of this, specifically, could have been done in a way that was actl interesting and explicit about Star Wars’s antifascist politics given the obvs parallels btw fascism and a bunch of supremacist, war-mongering nordics like Death Watch, but obvsl it wasnt.

Most of the eps just really didnt land with me? Like all the spy, macguffin, kidnapping, and police stuff was just boring&poorly executed(also, what kid is going to get the old noir character-type and actor that the Coruscant inspector is referencing? A completely perplexing choice when making him, instead, a sendup of the Law&Order/CSI type US media was saturated with at the time is RIGHT THERE).

While I liked one aspect of the Heist episode, the rest of it was bad & bad heist episodes are Just Unforgivable unu

SO MUCH BAD, STILTED, NONSENSICAL, AND REPETITIVE DIALOGUE

The primary plot-device of this season is The Idiot Ball, and I Hate The Idiot Ball. Cad Bane is legit written as smart, and Aurra Sing is legit written as dangerous and indefatigable, but they mostly succeed because of how fucking dumb the Jedi, clones, and senate security are being at any one moment.

The IDEA and BACKGROUND for Duchess Satine is good, but the execution of her as a dedicated pacifist and engaged, activist ruler is Bad and Inconsistent(and, on the ruler part, mostly not even there). Also, while the idea of unrealized romantic angst btw Satine and Obi Wan isnt NECESSARILY a bad idea given their history, I think making it mutual rather than one-side on Satine’s part was a bad idea(could have done LOTS of interesting stuff btw Anakin and Obi Wan on this), and I think making Satine’s initial frostiness towards Obi Wan Really be a RESULT of THAT rejection(it’s resolved completely by him telling her he shared those feelings at the time), rather than her seeing him(and the Jedi by extension) as having abandoned their peaceful ideals, was Really Bad. And, frankly, she watched her whole family be murdered in political in-fighting and then spent years on the run, being hunted herself, under the protection of the Jedi Order, before negotiating a peaceful settlement with the ppl who murdered her family; I’d have liked SOME evidence of the trauma she’s canonically suffered in her reactions to violence, and also of the absolute steel-spine, endurance, and dedication it took to make peace in those circumstances. Her pacifism isnt just an ideal to her; it ought to be deeply, deeply personal, and viciously hard-won.

The ep, Bounty Hunters completely misunderstands the point of The Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven. The whole POINT is that these two bands of highly-trained, deeply mercenary killers decide to protect absolutely destitute villagers who have nothing but the food they themselves need to survive, some out of a sense of their own wickedness, and others out of a sense of loyalty to the former. To apply that premise to a cash-crop plantation(despite the com’s leader’s protestations of poverty later in the ep, Obi Wan straight-up says “this is the most important, and profitable, medical herb in the galaxy” when they first arrive, and obvsl they’re able to hire off-world bounty hunters to protect them) completely perverts it. The Bounty Hunters and Jedi are defending the equivalent of a cotton plantation; they’re defending capitalists. If you remade The Magnificent Seven to have them defend a plantation-owner against, say, a Northern requisition team during the Civil War, the mercs would be the BAD GUYS. Just... shaking my head this whole episode, honestly. At LEAST it was a communal plantation, presumably with profit-sharing.

So yeah, a definite mixed-bag. So far I’d say there’ve been probably 3-5 episodes in this series I’ve really enjoyed but, while there’s a lot that I grumble at, it isnt so bad that I dread watching it(like, for instance, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina X| X| X|). I repeat my observation from the last one of these that it really does a good job of being just interesting enough that you spend A LOT of time thinking abt how to fix the parts you dont like :p tbh I’ve already started watching s3, but I’ll share my views on that one once I’ve finished it. If you did, thanks for reading ^u^

[crptkng]

I feel like I need to post about this because I have nothing better to do and because I would genuinely like to share my experience with BPD (borderline personality disorder) 

Now this will get pretty ugly and show the worst parts of me but please don’t think I’m an inherently toxic person for my behaviors that I could not control and that I have better control of as now. 

One of the first things you’ll notice about BPD is a marked disturbance in interpersonal relationships I’ve always had a very hard time keeping friends. I would have a certain friend for about a year and then we’d drift apart for no reason. Nothing totally horrible has happened in most of my past relationships, we’ve just either drifted apart or lost contact. However, that’s not to say I haven’t had a few not so healthy relationships. With BPD comes this fun little side effect of you possibly developing an unhealthy attachment to a certain person or people. This has happened to me on multiple occasions, 3 to be exact. This coins the term FP or favorite person.

The earliest I can ever recall and that I recognize now as being such was a good friend of mine that I met back in 2010/2011. My relationship with them wasn’t directly stormy in the beginning. I would see them at least once a week and all, but whenever I heard them mention another friend of theirs or that they would be hanging out with someone that wasn’t me I would get very angry and passive aggressively take it out on them. At first it was just that but it did start to go downhill when we hit high school and we started seeing less of each other. I would still be passive aggressive about the people they hung out with and all but the cake was taken when they got a boyfriend. I didn’t like him for one reason or another, still not entirely sure why but I but I went as far as accusing him of possibly making my friend “do something they didn’t want to” and kept nagging them about it. They ultimately broke up and we slowly lost most communication. I was sent spiraling into hysteria about losing my “only friend”. My whole school day was compromised to the point I called them into the school counselors office to force them to talk to me. After this we talked it out and were friends again. 

Around this time they introduced me to this guy who was and, to this day, still is one of my absolute best friends. The three of us were all really good friends and even had a group chat on skype together. After a few months of being friends I started having feelings for him but he had feelings for the friend that introduced us. I took this pretty hard and started accusing them of going behind my back outside of group chats and talking about me and just in general having more fun without me.This is the part where it all blew up and I decided I would rather isolate myself from this guy so I deleted him from skype and my phone contacts. Stayed friends with the first FP for a while before that eventually fizzled out. About a year later the dude my ex FP introduced me to popped into my head and I readded him on Skype. Come to find the two of them dated over the summer but broke up and he’d already gotten a new boyfriend. Everything was fine and we almost immediately got back into our old routine of watching stupid videos and shows as well as listening to music, sometimes inviting his boyfriend to join us. the three of us were friends for about 2 years before his ex developed feelings for another friend of theirs. My friend unfortunately had to hear it from a third party and not directly from his ex himself. This sent me into a rage and I verbally attacked his ex a few times, going so far as to harass him for a year before we made amends this fall and we’re even friends now!!

After they broke up with my friend and I had verbally ripped his ex a new one, about 3 months later my friend/FP and I confessed our crushes for each other and started dating in the spring of 2017. Summer 2017 came and he and I got to meet up for the first time in our almost 5 years of knowing each other. Our romantic relationship was not at all healthy in the slightest. I would need constant assurances of his feelings for me and if there was the slightest change in tone i’d immediately shift into a sour mood. Along with this I had the repeat actions of getting passive aggressively angry when he’d mention anyone else but me or make plans with someone else. Summer comes and goes and we’re still together even though i’m out of line, we even make plans for me to fly fully paid for by his mother to come see him over the Christmas break. this is where things got worse. I was constantly clingy and wouldn’t leave him to do his own thing, and would get jealous and passive aggressive whenever he’d hop on voice chat to play games. I would have major anxiety whenever I wasn’t near him and so on. Eventually while I was there we broke up. Him needing to focus on schooling and not being able to keep me happy and under control. Although we broke up I stayed the duration of my trip and we remained good friends.In fact, I’m trying my best with my holiday job to earn enough to buy him a ticket up to Seattle to see him again <3

My unhealthy relationships don’t stop there but are more brief than the one beforehand 

After my FP and I broke up I started talking regularly to this guy I used to talk to on skype before the great migration to discord.  

He and I talked from around January to June 2018. We’d go back and forth teasing each other and had an amazing friendship overall. Around the February is when I developed a crush on the guy which was... Not too great. Not only was he my crush but he was another FP. I would fixate on him when I thought I made him upset and would have major anxiety about it until proven otherwise, as is usually the case with most people for me.

Cut to March which just happens to be my birth month and I plan a desert date with a couple of my friends, him included. We all go to the mall near by and have a good time. This would be the first, and last time I got to meet him in person as he lived over an hour away by bus. We part ways with a hasty hug because I had to catch my bus back home. After this we plan on meeting up again but it turns out that he’s being kicked out by his mother that recently remarried and has to move to California. He ends up moving but we still stay connected on Discord and are still friends. April is when we start flirting with each other and we eventually send nudes back and forth to which I get a less than pleased response about my body.

At first I brushed it off bc you know I was enchanted by him. But then he proceeds to ghost me twice after this, once because of the nude and twice bc I told him I liked him.

During this he also blocked me on Discord for a few days as a joke because I insulted a titty anime he liked but came back and told me excitedly he was moving back to Washington but because he didn’t feel like he could tell me he didn’t want to have sex like we talked about he ghosts me. I eventually have an encounter where I was sexually assaulted and he said nothing about it and ignored my distress, eventually blocking me for good because I started going off on him like I did with my friends ex.

The next FP has a short history as he’s my current FP.

This guy is still kinda my friend but we don’t hang out in person anymore and he hardly responds to my texts or calls. But!!

I noticed this one when I realized I was doing the same thing I do with all my FPs which is get jealous of the people he talks about. One person in particular, too.

I reconnected with him during the summer 2018, about a month after the incident with the last guy mentioned, we quickly started hanging out again and even had a couple make out sessions. I didn’t notice right away that I was reacting the way I was until one day I noticed myself using manipulative language because he declined my invitation to go get food. This happened a couple of times, most significant of which was when he texted me the morning after he went out and partied. I jokingly asked him “ without me?” “Yee”. I was able to restrain and reroute what I was saying to make it seem less manipulative. Going back to me being upset when he mentions someone else. He has a crush on this girl who’s a mutual friend of ours and one night he invited me over to hang but we ended up going to the mall she worked at so he could try and convince her to join us. She said no, and we left. But he proceeded to talk about her for a good half hour after. He also knew I had a crush on him at the time so that double set me off. Halloween rolls up. He and another best friend of mine come over for drinks and to just chill in general. He asks me who all is coming and asks abt her. I don’t invite her because she’s leaving for a trip the next morning. Previous to this I met up with her and her now boyfriend and she tells me they got back together. She hadn’t told my FP and was never going to in the first place. He mentioned her again and I consider telling him then and there but decided not to at the moment. After Halloween is when he starts ghosting me and I get angry bc he’s not giving me attention so that’s when I tell him. Not out of the kindness of my heart but out of spite for being ignored. He and I don’t talk as much but I assume we’re on ok terms!

These are my most relevant people attachment stories. But I’m far from over with this post which is already a LOT.

Another fun part of BPD that I experience is the lack of identity.

I can easily attach myself to fictional characters and identify with them so strongly that I feel like I become them. This has happened most significantly with Dean Winchester from Supernatural and Charlie Kelly from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

With Dean it was probably the strongest. I started listening to the music he did and wearing leather and becoming aloof like he was. Just overall taking small traits and becoming like him.

Charlie was more of a comfort character who I also took small traits from and started dressing like him.

As well as taking on their traits I considered career paths similar to theirs. Bartender and janitor for Charlie and a cop for Dean.

It doesn’t stop at fictional characters either. I notice I take on bits of the people I’m with and mold myself into who they are. I laugh like them and want to do the same things that they do even if I’m bad at it. Another HUGE symptom of BPD and one of the most common criteria for it is uncontrollable bouts of anger  First and most recent example I have being when my last ex broke up with me. I spent two days in a rage threatening to do harm to him and, as he is an addict, told one of his friends that he could “Die in a ditch with a needle in his arm”. Every time I thought of him my body would go cold and I would shake with rage. Second example I can think of that I’ve had to do on many occasions is my plans and needs being shoved behind by my mother and me getting so enraged I had to go chop a dead tree in our back yard. Third and final example I have of some of my rages comes back to the person who ghosted me because I was fat.After he did that and found out he was lying to me about everything I sat for a good half hour staring at the group call he was in on a mutual discord server and planned on going in and yelling at him while everyone was there. I ended up not doing it but that was another example of me shaking with rage and my body going cold.  Mood swings are prevalent in people with BPD The most notable examples i have are, with the most severe being the time I took a book and smashed it on my desk, cried and then started laughing at the Mishapocolypse  all in the span of about 15 to 20 minutes and several times when I felt extremely inadequate to everyone or when I misinterpreted the tone of my FP and sent myself spiraling into a depression.  Some people with BPD may also have hallucinations I’ve had one that’s the most notable, being the time I hallucinated the smell of doritos when there were none near me at the time because I was outside away from home, Another when I was sitting in my therapists office. she noticed me looking away from her towards the floor at what I saw as a blue dot that looked like a very small light from a charging cord on a laptop battery pack. And last, but most recent is when I was outside on a walk and seeing several blue dots blinking in the bushes where no other lights would be.   Another marked trait of BPD is Impulsivity    I’ve dealt with impulsivity in a couple different area. Notably though are the several unsafe sexual encounters I've had with multiple partners, turning to drugs or alcohol to cope with stress or sadness and my spending money when I have very little. People with BPD can suffer from intrusive thoughts These are NOT fun or cute like tumblr likes to make them out to be. Here’s a list of mine that go from not so bad to holy shit go get help. 

Fp not talking to you this exact moment?: Pull your hair out 

Chugg the whole bottle of asprin

Punch that dog

Bite the cat

Feeling angry and wanna take it out on something?: Grab one of the hamsters and SQUISH!!!

I wanna peel the skin off a frog

Step on your grandpa’s ventilator tube

Take that baby by the legs and swing it’s head into the wall

These are just some of the symptoms I suffer from and my personal experiences with BPD and as I say in the tags, people experience these symptoms differently. If you can relate to these symptoms and are not diagnosed, I suggest taking it to a professional who can help you further research and help you recover.