#i like all of the interpretations and it's hard for me to pick just one for a ship or a character
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As an animation student I absolutely hate live action adaptations like the ones Disney's been churning out the last few years. They strip away all the artistic intent of the original pieces of media and turn them into grey, heavily cgi-ed experiences that don't even carry a quarter of the whimsy. The purpose behind these adaptations isn't to fully utilize a new medium and find a unique way of retelling the original story, it's just to make money.
Imagine you see a painting, let's say The Mona Lisa. Now, you can put on a black wig, pose in front of the countryside and take a selfie in the same pose. Is it fun? Yeah, sure. It's the kind of thing you can send to your friends or maybe post on an account. But to argue it is superior somehow because it's "real" is an insult. You could spend thousands of dollars on makeup, cameras and lighting but still, it will not carry the same cultural impact. It can't.
And don't get me wrong, photography and cinematography are 100% an art form. You can do beautiful things with a camera that cannot be done through any other media. Cosplay is another beautiful example of artists bringing their creative interpretations of characters into the real world. People who do those should be admired and appreciated. But we know that's not what's happening here.
You might not think The Little Mermaid (1989) or Beauty and the Beast (1991) are as artistically valuable as something like The Mona Lisa. That's the thing about art, no one really gets to decide what piece of art is or isn't superior to another. But all three are definitively intentional art. It doesn't matter if you're an overworked in-betweener for a mega-corporation in the 90's or a famous renaissance painter working on a portrait. Either way, you're pouring a little bit of yourself into your creation. Every choice you make has intent behind it and years of hard work, even if you're not conscious of that.
These adaptations are an expensive selfie boasted around as a superior product. Because that's all they are, products imitating art. You end up losing those intentional choices somewhere along the way as hand-picked colours, distinct silhouettes and visual storytelling all get dulled into the same "realistic" shape. And children deserve better. Not just because exploiting families by rereleasing content is scummy, but because I whole-heartedly believe that children deserve artistically rich, complex stories. Almost every animation student and professional that I know got where they are because they were inspired by something. Maybe it was Beauty and the Beast or My Little Pony or Animaniacs or How to Train Your Dragon. But there's something immensely powerful about being a little kid and being shown a completely new, beautiful way to imagine and interpret the world. And you find yourself sketching day and night to replicate that interpretation until suddenly you're creating something new, with intention, that's never been made before.
I'm sure there are plenty of kids who like movies with realistic-looking animals. But the animals aren't realistic because these corporations thought kids would enjoy them, they're realistic because studios executives that don't actually give a shit about art or animation think they are more visually impressive and needed to come up with an excuse to recycle content instead of daring to do anything new. They don't care about artists, they care about consumers.
Since we keep getting "live action" CGI remakes of already perfectly adequate animated movies, and because people need to understand that animation is a medium and not a genre, I have prepared this primer about the importance of Visual Language for Conveying Information.
Can you tell what the personalities of these two mice are?
Can you tell now?
Which of these two tigers feels safer to be around?
Which of these three dogs is the funniest one?
If you can answer these questions, then you already have experience with the idea of visual language and stylistic choices being used to impart narrative meaning. If you can understand why these choices were made to impart meaning, then you can understand why animation is a medium for telling stories that has its own inherent value, and is not merely a "placeholder" for the eventual implementation of photorealistic presentation (aka "Live Action" CGI). Animation does not need to be "corrected" or "legitimized" by remaking it into the most representational simulation of observable reality.
#I've already reblogged this weeks ago I think#But I'm reblogging it again#this time with a rant lmao#animation#disney movies#live action#animation student#2D animation#3D animation#also cgi can absolutely be used for art too#there are tons of great movies that use cgi or 3D animation#And I'm also studying 3D modeling#And I bet Disney works those poor 3D animators to death#but the soul is not there in these cgi remakes#and that part IS intentional
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been Thinking about richard cameron again...
and i think the thing that people don't always see when discussing his character is that we the viewers can and should have a different interpretation of his character than the poets do
i get why charlie punched him. fine, i'll say it, i even think it's justifiable (stay with me here)
charlie was a seventeen year old who had just lost his best friend, and had always been predisposed to dislike cameron. why? because charlie only ever saw cameron as a rule follower, a brownoser, a teacher's pet. when cameron talks to nolan, charlie sees it as a betrayal but not a surprise because to him, this is classic cameron behavior. in his mind, obviously cameron would choose authority over his friends and the one teacher who fought the limits that welton set for them. charlie doesn't ever think about what position cameron was in.
and i get it! again! charlie is a teenager who is experiencing probably the most emotional time of his life. same goes for the rest of the poets. they all feel betrayed. and frankly, cameron's dialogue in the scene where charlie punches him is cruel, and a blatant misunderstanding of who neil was, and what keating was trying to do (as todd points out). he says a lot of shit, and none of it makes you want to like him. he wasn't winning any sympathy points from the poets or from the audience.
itâs easy to watch that scene back and say, âcameron behaved horribly here, therefore he is a horrible person with no redeeming qualities.â but when we're actually analyzing the movie? i think we have a responsibility to really consider cameron's motivations.
for starters, he was always the odd one out among the poets. charlie picked on him constantly, and no one ever stood up for him, except maybe neil. and not only does cameron hang out with the poets, he's charlie's roommate. he probably never caught a break from hearing how poorly charlie thought of him.
more than that, though, he has a clear and consistent need to follow authority. on keating's very first day, cameron is one of the first students to stand up and follow him out of the classroom. he does it hesitantly, sure, but we can tell what he's thinking: when a teacher tells you what to do, you do it. this pattern continues all the way into the aforementioned scene with charlie when cameron says: "in case you hadn't heard, dalton, there's something called an honor code at this school, alright? if a teacher asks you a question, you tell the truth, or you're expelled." true, yes, cameron's saving his own ass. but what choice does he have? in his mind, none. this is how the world works. you keep your head down, you do what you're told, or you get punished.
do i think it was the right thing to do? maybe not. do i think the poets are entitled to their anger towards him? yeah, i do. but i understand why cameron did it. he was a scared kid, who, when caught between a rock and a hard place, fell back on what he'd been taught his whole life.
so, to wrap all this up: no, cameron's not unequivocally good. he hurt his friends, and they have a right to be upset with him. but he didn't set out with bad intentions. he was just a kid, and what he did doesn't make him evil, it makes him complex. he has a right to be treated as such.
#if you made it to the end of this i appreciate you#please don't let this flop#i put a lot of thought into this#anyone who sees this please feel free to chime in with your own takes#yawp#dead poets society#charlie dalton#richard cameron#todd anderson#neil perry#john keating#dps
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Whatever. Throws you my headcanons
#tbh i am not very good at those#i like all of the interpretations and it's hard for me to pick just one for a ship or a character#so i just smash all my favourite ideas from other works into one and deal with it#anyway who's up for aroace sniper.#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 headcanons#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#speeding bullet#sniperscout#tf2 spy#tf2 engineer#tf2 scout's ma#engiespy#napoleon complex#practical espionage#spyma#tf2 spyma
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yet another oc that only exists because i wanted to write something very specific
(middle is a little older, hence her scar healing. i like to think she gets a glass eye at some point)
anyway this is mira! (they/she) since that wip is almost 20k words and counting i wonât give away too much but long story short sheâs the result of meta going âone last time, i promiseâ and adopting yet another kid
also galaxia kinda indirectly picked the name :)
iâve mentioned before that i headcanon that pretty much all astrals are autistic and this is just kinda an extension of that. whereas meta tends to suppress his emotions and conform to others, miraâŚdoesnât. she gets uncomfortable and upset and lashes out at people easily, and working through their emotions is no small task.
the main reason i chose to write them that way was for the sake of narrative but iâve grown attached to it because thereâs a lot of ideas there iâd like to explore. stuff about navigating emotions and relationships when existing is so suffocatingly uncomfortable. itâs not something i could center around Kirby himself, but i think it makes sense with a post character development meta knight.
they are very loved (omg oldee cameo???)
kirby was definitely very excited to have younger siblings after being used to being the youngest in the room for so long!! (with the like. one and only exception being gooey.) heâs super affectionate with both of them and wants to have a close relationship one day, but for now mira is pretty unappreciative of that fact lol. they donât like being pestered for hugs
everyone else is okay tho
(i know thatâs hard to read. oops. âobvious bite marksâ. siblings being siblings.)
mira also has a very love/hate relationship with the egg kid, being so close in age they kinda Have to get along but in typical sibling nature they also fight a lot. sure itâs probably rough for a while but i think in the end theyâd be good buddies. maybe not as close as Kirby and Bandee but still.
anyway i have a lot of thoughts and am very busy but. iâm really enjoying writing about all this lately itâs been fun ^^
#I picked a name and then proceeded to write a comic in pen in which i used that name and posted it#and only after all that did i learn that mira is becoming a very popular name. which i generally avoid#but oh well. itâs stuck#im gonna be completely honest a lot of how i pick names for characters is based off of how many puns i can make out of it#im sorry to disappoint you with that information /j#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#kirby#king dedede#metadede#Kirby oc#semi future au#I swear iâll introduce oldee one day im just bad at having drawing ideas#also trying very hard to not make self deprecating comments over some of this art cause i just. donât really want to spend forever redrawing#stuff anymore. like I used to do for a lot of these posts. Itâs whatever#anyway kinda a part two to yesterdayâs post (as in: I made sure they were both ready at the same time so i could queue them together lol)#weirdly enough this isnât all that different from my dmk interpretation#i canât really decide what color she is either#part of me wants to say bright blue red eyes because i think that would look absolutely sick but that seems like a bit too much blue#all things considered#maybe bright yellow blue eyes idk ill figure it out later (maybe)
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It becomes increasingly obvious that fandom has not moved on from its âArthur was just using Gwen for her wombâ phaseâŚ
If Arthur wanted a marriage of convenience, then he would have gotten with Elena or Mithian. But Arthur was canonically in love with Gwen, and Gwen with Arthur. Therefore, we acknowledge that Gwen and Arthur are â by all authorial intent (and common sense) â in love. This means the writers wrote this in, explicitly, only for certain fans to ignore it.
Not a case of âthe writers secretly wrote Arthur and Gwen as NOT in love!â but âfans dismiss the relationship because they shipped merthur first and feel threatened by Arthur having a CANON âheteroâ love interest, or donât find it realistic that he could love a girl like her.â
Hence the usual tired, vague âthey just donât have chemistryâ excuse. The fact that OP states that Gwen has chemistry with no one portrays this better than anything I can say. Yes, of course the only black woman character just doesnât have romantic chemistry with anyone â not Merlin, not Lancelot, not her actual canon husband Arthur, not even Morgana. But all of the white boy characters are just so lovable, so it only makes sense that everyone else should love them, too! (The subtext being that it doesnât make sense for Gwen to be a romantic interest because⌠ahem, reasons). So merthur just magically feels more realistic/makes more sense than what they wanted us to see with Gwenâs relationships! Nevermind the blatant contradiction between âthe writers WANTED us to believe in Arthur/Gwen but we didnât!â and âthe writers were deliberately writing them weakly!â Pick 1 story if you wanna play victim.
The fan theory that the (often homophobic! they started filming in 2007 for godâs sake) writers were secretly trying to diminish this leading romantic plotline by creating a âromantic tensionâ between Arthur and [checks notes] MERLIN?!?!?, the servant he neglects, is nothing short of tinhatting. At most, the writers make a few jokes in the audio commentaries poking fun at people who interpreted it in that way, making fun of us gays plenty along the way, only to firmly restate their platonic intent.
By and by, youâre allowed to enjoy fanon material, but to simply lie about the canon circumstances in order to make as if these ideas hold more water than canon, which we can all fact check with a rewatch or a transcript⌠Well, itâs hard for me to wrap my head around! What is the point, exactly, when itâs not true?
Simply speaking, omegaverse fanfiction is not canon. Itâs easy for people to dismiss the influence that Gwen is capable of having, on Arthur and on the story as a whole, but that does not mean that this influence does not exist. If these were genuine observations/concerns, fans would not be demanding that Gwen be erased from her own narrative, but rather that she be allowed to take up more space in it! Fans would demand that we have more scenes of her and Arthur, that we see more of their build-up and bonding. Instead, sheâs met with full dismissal. The fact that Gwen does not receive as much screentime as her white boy counterparts, despite also being one of the core four, also speaks to a bias (one of many) in the writersâ room. The failure of fans as a whole to demand more respect and attention for the woman characters, especially Gwen as the solo black lead, is a failure of the same kind.
You started with a good premise but now I think youâre actually insane. Merlin and Arthur had tension from day one. I was a child and I knew they were gay for one another. Gwen didnât have chemistry with anyone - least of all Merlin. Merlin wasnât interested in Gwen at all. Season 1 read as when the girl falls for the gay boy cuz heâs so nice and sweet. The actors shipped Merthur. The writers shipped Merthur and they wanted the fandom to ship Merthur. The only reason they probably didnât explicitly put it in the show was because of the time we were in. The writers and fandom have always been gay af. Because right next to Merthur is Morgwen and after that, Gwen/Lancelot. This is not at all an example of what youâre talking about. Also, TikTok? Did you just start watching the show? Watch it again please. And then watch it another time. Like we were reading/writing Merthur fanfic in 2008. I was on mf livejournal reading A/B/O dynamics Merthur fanfics. Hello??!!! Like maybe itâs because Iâve been in this fandom for over a decade - Merthur was my first fandom - but Iâm literally so affronted and flabbergasted. How do you even-
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I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)
But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'
Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!
#dc#dc comics#batverse#batfam#i do feel like i see too much beef and negativity abiut this kinda thing#i prefer to be a#i curate my own internet space#type of guy#but also i get it when your looking for fan content and so much of it is like đ#an interpretation you hate#anyway this is probs obvious but mostly about the robins#like tim is probs one of my fave robins#but people go too hard on the whump for my personal taste#esp when it feels a bit of a disservice to the other characters#give me nuance i love nuance!#of course- fanfic is free and it is also free to not read it so to be clear o dont actually give a shit what people write#be free#go write that ooc chat fic life is short do whats fun#thinkin these thoughts at a party where i only know my dad and my dads friend LOL#wait i have more thoughts- ALSO#it really is funny to me#to be like. wow. i loved this fic#i thought it was SO GOOD#And to be holding that thought and perspective in my head#while also being like. ooph.#picking apart all the problems i have with it now#and like how. maybe id still like it if i just pretend they're ocs?#i can sometimes do that- but not always because i often go to fic for a specific dynamic#and i get really frustrated when i gotta be like. who the fuck is this guy its not the one with their name in the tags#i can sometimes tho
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If I had a nickel for every incarnation of princess zelda I think is transmasc. I'd have two nickels
#spitblaze says things#not 2 say ill turn up my nose at any transfem interpretations of EoW zelda#just that i see the amount of ppl who clock her as a man (link but still) when they see her in the cloak and her lack of reaction to it#and the sword transforming her into link and how her voice drops when it happens#and like im *well aware* of the misogyny this series is drenched in and even this entry#zelda cant hold a sword forwver bc shed get too tired. boooo she can pick up her hard light lynels and strut around with em like its NOTHIN#and its stupid and misogynist to not even let zelda be zelda with the sword. shes gotta be link#anyway now that ive made my critiques against the doylist side of things#it feels very telling that the music goes all upbeat and triumphant when zelda gets magically forcemasced#its not diagetic and one is potentially left to infer that its a representation of how zelda feels#and compared to the baseline. its more energetic. more vibrant. empowering and encouraging#and ik link is the courage guy but im like 80% sure this game is pre-oot on the timeline#(other 20% says its on the defeated hero timeline)#but like. the point here is. zelda gets genderbent temporarily and the implication from the music and how it plays that she enjoys it#the bar is on the floor. i know. but you cant just give me a girl being mistaken for and turning into a boy and seemingly enjoying it#without expecting me to go đ¤¨đłď¸ââ§ď¸âď¸#loz#also link is a girl. it has to equal out#they r t4t transhet in every timeline <3
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bein a lifestyle lolita is such an ultimate goal 4 me but no1 rly talks how mostly unattainable n expensive it is
#mostly cuz i feel like havin it as a lifestyle requires a kind of 'romanticising' yr life & surroundings to an extent#weve all heard of it yeah. idk but this is my own interpretation#im sure lolita lifestyle means different things for different people#to me its very focused on everythin arnd u bein clean beautiful n elegant which is most befittin of lolita!#ofc the vibes depend on the substyle sumtimes i think#like sweet vs gothic#idk perhaps im diggin too much into this & ik no one has the option to have a full 24/7 perfect lolita lifestyle! cuz life is more than jus#dressin up prettily n goin to a high tea or goin for a walk in a park or a cemetery#but even more accessible lolita coded things r hard to come across here..#i can think of a few art galleries & theaters in the city center#& a few pretty architecture points too#but its not the sameeeeee#this place is so bleak n sad#lolitas in small cities we gawta stay strong#the only thing dat keeps me goin is thinkin how im Just like momoko ryuugasaki kamikaze girls#she wld b proud of me#but yea no i get sad a lot i want lolita friends i wanna meet up n go to a fancy restaurant i wanna walk arnd nice clean streets with my#parasol i wanna go to the baby store n pick out sum new accessories i wanna go for a walk in a beautiful green park with cute benches n#flowers n fountains. we have parks but they r all so sad lookin bein mostly for kids (so theres a lot of like slides n stuff)#idk i want sum whimsy#shit is so hard i been keepin an eye out for anime / cosplay events cuz i jus wanna see if mebbe local lolitas attehd.
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Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) - G.S.
Synopsis. In which intentionally making your frĂend-with-benefĂts jealous ends up with more benefits than youâd think.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, FWá¸! Gojo, slight Sukuna x reader, rough VERY jealous sĂŠx, Satoru goes feraI omg, unprotected, FWá¸-to-lovers, thĂgh riding, fĂngering, creampĂe, overstĂm, spĂtting, implied thrĂŠesome, heâs a bit mean and possessive, swearing.
Word count. 4.8k
A/N. Heheh, hoping yâall have a lovely week coming up <3
â-nâ thereâs this really great cafĂŠ downtown with those cupcakes you like-â
âToru.â
â-Iâll get ya some for that kick you need after a lecture with Yaga. Speaking of Yaga-â
âToru-â
â-heâs the one in need of a kick. I swear, that man gave me a B on my presentation just because I caught him in the middle of his interpretive dance routine-â
âSatoru!â
At this, Satoru pauses in the middle of buckling up his jeans to throw a grave nod your way. âI know, right?â Promptly sauntering over to pick up his t-shirt from where it had been thrown onto your bedroom floor, âIt gave me nightmares for a few days, too. Which is why we should go to that cafĂŠ tomorrow and thenâŚâ
You roll your eyes - partially out of frustration, partially out of necessity to rip your stare away from those sculpted shoulders on display. Decorated in angry, red scratches running down, down, down. Somehow, you manage to grit out, âSatoru I have a uh- date.â
And ah, was it a sight to behold - because, perhaps for the first time in the twenty-something years that Gojo Satoru has wreaked havoc on this planet, heâs stunned into silence.Â
Still very groggy from sleep, still very sinfully shirtless standing at the foot of your bed. His kiss-bitten lips fall slack as you plow on, âAnd itâs just- I canât make it tomorrow night because he invited me to his party.âÂ
Party? This was the first time you canceled one of yourâŚappointments with your friend-with-benefits - and it was for some party? Satoru could do parties, too - much better ones than this loser, heâs sure. Ones that would actually warrant you bailing on him.
Shaking away the strange thoughts ringing in his mind, he spits, âWho?â Just about all he could get out now.Â
Whoever he was - it was true about the parties. Why would you want to waste any time going to something like that when Satoru was the one known for them on campus. Him and Suku-
âItâs Sukuna.â
âOh.â
---
It was stupid - it was ridiculous. And you donât know why Sukuna ever agreed to this scheme, but here you were, glued to his side like his favorite lilâ plaything for the night.Â
âWhat?â you shout for the nth time tonight, scooting closer on the couch. And you see his lips move, yet, to your frustration - despite being seated so flush against you - no sound comes out of them.Â
Whatever they say about Sukuna and Satoruâs parties were true - and then some. Because right now, it was so loud you could barely hear yourself think, let alone whatever Sukuna was talking about. Heaving out a sigh, you get ready to give up and suggest joining the thrumming dance floor - before, a large, soft hand glides down to your waist.Â
Fingers digging into the plush of your hips as Sukuna yanks you easily to plop down onto his waiting lap. Thighs strong and steady underneath yours, meeting your surprised gaze with his smug one, âThis better?â
His hot breath fans the shell of your ear, sending traitorous shivers running along your spine - all the way down to where Sukuna was resting hand right above where your tight dress was hiking up.Â
Involuntarily, you find yourself nodding along, âY-yeah. Much better.â
âGood.â
Fuck, you could feel each and every rumble of his broad chest against yours as he continues the conversation like nothing happened. The faint tap! tap! tap! of Sukunaâs fingers drumming on your squirming hips to the beat of the pounding music.Â
And itâs really hard to forget where you are, yet it hits you like a semi-truck - five of them, in fact - when his dark eyes widen at something over your shoulders. The steady beat of his fingers halting abruptly, âOh?â
You knew what that look meant - knew who it meant. Because, really, there was only ever one person that could command as much attention in such a hazy, packed campus party.
Dipping your head, you hastily ask, âIs he looking over at us?â
To which Sukuna finally tears his gaze away, amusement and something else so dark swirling behind his gaze when he grabs the back of your throat. Whispering against the skin, âMore than looking, pretty. Satoruâs planning my funeral and dancing on my grave already.â Moving up, voice dropping to a low, low whisper, âAll according to plan, of course. Nâ I thinkâŚâ You jolt as he bites down on your earlobe, hard. â-that we should give him a lilâ show, hm?â
You bite back a soft moan, palms smoothing over Sukunaâs pecs to steady yourself. âAnd just what did you have in mind?â
âA little bit of this.â he grins, eyes flickering over behind you. âA little bit of that. And some of-â Sukuna chuckles at the way youâre so responsive underneath his touch, bucking when he gives your ass a tight squeeze. Tracing right up, up, up the middle of your spine, â-this.â Lips just inches away from yours now, close. âAnd you get him as a new boyfriend, and I get killed for taking what I canât have.â
You feel something soft - fleeting.Â
And then immediately Sukunaâs pulling away, those lips that were just barely one yours curling up into such a sly smirk, âYo, Satoru.â
You stiffen at the name - and the burning hole being stared into your back right now - whipping your head around to be met face-to-face with a towering Satoru. Brows furrowed, biceps rippling when he crosses his arms, lips drawn tight as he hisses through his teeth, âSeems the two of you are having a lot of fun.â
Oh, were you thankful for Sukunaâs sharp mouth right about now. Because while youâre still sitting there with your mouth stupidly agape, he muses, âMhm, a lot of fun.â Thumbing your face back towards him, âIsnât that right, pretty?â
Fuck, those were fighting words, ones that had Satoru looming closer - practically sandwiching you between the two men.
âIâm sure she can speak for herself.â he snaps back, slender fingers circling your wrist. âIsnât that right, sweetheart?â
âI dunno, Toru.â And, well, maybe you were an idiot. Maybe you were a mastermind, because you only bat your lashes up at Satoru so deceivingly innocently. âKuna here-â relishing in the way he flinches at the nickname, â-was jusâ telling me how great of a boyfriend heâd be. Right?â
The other man nods, âSince this pretty lilâ thing is single, thought I might as well take a shot.â
âPlease.â Satoru was pulling you closer against him now, irritated huffs prickling waves of goosebumps across your skin. Words venomous, âSome boyfriend heâd be. Iâm sure heâd do nothing other than give you weak dick and bore you to death.â
Sukuna scoffs, âRight, because yours is so much better?â
âYou really think you have what it takes to satisfy this lilâ minx?â
Both men were gritting their teeth, trapping you between them. People were starting to stare now - some even pulling their phones out to start recording in case of a fight. And before the argument could escalate until that point, you catch Sukunaâs eye. Cutting off whatever next retort was on the tip of his tongue with a short, subtle shake of your head.Â
âWell thenâŚâ he instead purrs, grinning as if he was in on some inside joke between the two of you - on purpose, of course, just to watch Satoruâs eyes grow harder. âGuess if Iâm âboring her to deathâ then you-â Sukuna gives you a little push, nudging you towards Satoruâs chest. â-can teach her all about fun.â
Before you can react, two strong arms are looping your waist, helping you stand up - and pulling you clean off of Sukunaâs lap.Â
Youâre hit with Satoruâs expensive, heady cologne - and his chest against your back, rock-hard, chest thumping wildly. You blink up at that uncharacteristically clenched jaw, âToru?â
Now, youâve seen him moody, youâve seen him irritated - but never to this extent. Positively fuming, teeth grit, jolting at the mere sound of your voice as if his whole body was hit with a wave of electricity. Like some hidden, primal part of himself was being poked so dangerously awake when you softly intertwine your fingers with his. All gentle against his almost bruising hold, you question, âAre you alri-â
You donât get to finish the question, because all it takes is another slow, leering grin flashed at you from Sukuna before Satoru mutters, gravelly. âExcuse us, then. I must have a talk with my woman.â
Starting to walk in long, fast strides upstairs - with you all stumbling and trying to keep up behind him.Â
Urgent. Dangerous.
âExtra roomâs unlocked, you two!â you hear Sukuna call out after the both of you. And the last sight you see of him is when he mouths a silent âYouâre welcome.â. One hand flashing you a thumbs up, the other adjusting the crotch of his pants. âHave fun.â
Satoru only clicks his tongue, moving very purposefully towards where Sukunaâs bedroom was instead.
âWoah- Toru, slow down.â you yelp, out of breath at his ruthless pace. But of course, since this is Satoru, he wonât have it any way other than stopping immediately in his tracks. Turning briefly around to you - only to wrap two arms around your waist, throwing you so easily over his shoulder like some ragdoll. Large palms tugging down the hem of your ass as he continues walking. âY-youâre so-â
So what? Mean? Jealous? Playing right into your hands?
You donât even know - nor do you really care, because Satoru finally reaches his destination.
âFuck- here.â he spits.
Slam!
The door is flung open so hard it almost rattles off its hinges - and you arenât faring any better. Because no sooner has Satoru stepped inside, heâs throwing you onto the king-sized bed in the middle of the room.Â
The mattress dips as he slowly makes his way up to you, your legs quiver at how much he just looked like a man starved - eyes half-lidded and crazed, hair ruffled. Having finally found a full meal in years. Darkly eyeing down the way youâre splayed out like such a slut on the mattress, dress hiking up with each bounce at the sheer force of his throw.Â
âSo-â Satoruâs fingers reach out to lazily unbuckle the straps of your heels. Lingering much more than necessary. â-got anything to say?â
You bite your lower lip, holding back a delighted grin while his hands dance up your thigh to fiddle with that garter you knew heâd love. Slow. Agonizingly slow. Cocking your head in faux-confusion, âHmm, like what?â
âOh I dunno.â Satoru muses, saccharine sweet. And oh you could tell by his tone that he didnât like that - didnât want to like it. Running his fingers feather-light all the way down your legs to fling that useless garter onto the floor. âHow about a âoh Iâm so sorry, Toru, for bailing on you and acting like such a slut with the biggest asshole on campus jusâ to rile you up.ââÂ
You bristle at his mockingly high tone, oh yeah, your plan worked - hell, maybe too well.Â
Teeth clenched, you hiss, âWell what are you gonna do about it, Toru?â Jutting your chin in defiance, âYouâre not even my boyfriend. Maybe he jusâ fucks me better than you.â
âSay that again.â
Fuck, it takes you a second to even recognise his voice as your familiar friend-with-benefits. So jagged and raw.Â
And yet, youâre still running your mouth - so close to his. Too close. âMaybe he jusâ fucks me be-â
Now, usually you were the one thatâd shut up Satoru mid-sentence - this time, however, heâs the one crashing his lips against yours. Swallowing the rest of that sentence in such a messy clash of teeth, and spit, and desperation.Â
Pulling ever-so-slightly on your glossy lower lip with his teeth, âSay it again, sweetheart.â
Oh, you knew you shouldnât. Not one bit. But you do it anyway, letting out a muffled, âHe f-â
And again. And again and again and-
Each and every time Satoruâs kissing away your mean little words, a large hang coming up around your throat to thumb apart your lips further. âOpen.â he hisses against your mouth, so angry.Â
Itâs as if on autopilot when you do, bruised lips sagging open. Leaving the perfect lilâ opening for Satoru to spit onto your lolling tongue, once. Twice. Thrice. Until your bleary eyes are snapping open, whining against Satoruâs iron-hold fist when you pathetically try to pull away in embarrassment.
Because shit, let it be known that Gojo Satoru has perfect aim - except for when it comes to you. Letting the steady strip of spit splatter against the side of your mouth, gliding his thumb to smear it all over your lips.
âHow cute.â Satoru coos, eyes hooded. He gives your pouty mouth a final, chaste peck, sucking softly on your bottom lip. Chuckling, âMakinâ me almost forget you were locking lips with some other bitch earlier.â
And Satoru has the audacity to laugh - laugh - hoarse, and humorless at the way your jaw drops open in disbelief. Humming into your throat, âYer right, though, mânot your boyfriend.â He leaves little bite marks down your racing pulse, your collarbone, your tits spilling out of your sinful dress. Eyes just devouring you through his long lashes, âBut that doesnât make you any less mine.â
Sitting back on the mattress, all it takes him is a simple tug on your hips to seat you so prettily on his lap. Your legs trembling around his thick thighs, gasping at the feeling of something so rock-hard right under your clothed pussy.Â
âSince ya like riding thighs so much, sweetheart-â Bunching your dress up at your hips, gripping your waist - tight. â-letâs see how you like mine.â
âWhat- oh ngh- fuck-â youâre gasping when he just starts dragging your sloppy hips down his thigh. Long, harsh movements that donât even ease you into it.Â
âShit.â Satoru groans at the feeling of your cunt drooling, seeping into his skin already. Heâs angling his head to spy on the heavenly view - hooking a finger around your drenched panties. âThis damn thing is-â Pulling - tearing. â-in the way.â
Youâre gasping when Satoru pulls back to look at you with a content grin, dangling the flimsy fabric around his finger like a badge of honor. âYouâre- ngh- buying me a new one.â
âOh, anything for you.â heâs grazing his teeth along your earlobe, fingers finding their way back on your hips to grind them on his thigh, back and forth. Up and down up and down up and- âOr is that what you wanted me to say?â
And shit Satoru is so mean with the way he gives your ass a sharp smack! Pulling your whiny face closer, grinning sternly against your lips. âWhy donât you ask that new boytoy of yours to buy you some, huh?âÂ
âB-but-â
âB-b-but-â he mocks, bouncing his knees up and down to get you to slide your cunt down his long thighs faster. Puffy folds spreading so shamefully open - so shamefully good. âYou were so happy being such a slut for him before, right?â Just goading on your poor self to huff and puff in a way that made his cock twitch wildly. âSo why are you here? With me?â
Youâre stubbornly keeping your lips sealed shut to keep yourself from crying out - and oh, Satoru didnât like that. Almost as much as he didnât like seeing you giving those beautiful heart-eyes at some other bastard.
âOh? Playing shy now?â Smack! âWhat happened to the slut from earlier, huh?â Bouncing his knee faster. The pads of his long fingers sting into your skin, sure to leave bruises for him to admire later - and for some people to take note of. Pulling - drawing your cunt to hump him like a bitch in heat. âThaâs alright, pretty. I get it.âÂ
And Satoru - mean, mean Satoru - waits until your features soften in relief, almost letting out a sigh - before dipping a hand down to brush a thumb at your pretty clit. Hard. âGuess Iâll jusâ have to bring her out.â
âOh- fuck fuck fuck-â you mewl, nails digging into Satoruâs shoulders when he starts to draw frenzied, methodical little circles on your throbbing clit. âSâtoo- good- oh my god-â
ââToruâ works jusâ fine, sweetheart.âÂ
But oh for how confident Satoru was talking you into insanity, he canât help but gape in wonder down below him, awe-struck with how sloppy you were. He could see you sweet sweet juices trailing down his palm, that glossy sheen on his thigh. âYouâre so dripping wet, pretty. Whoâre you this wet for? Me or-â Satoruâs free hand comes up to squish your cheeks together into an embarrassing pout, turning your head to the adjacent wall, where Sukuna had a framed photograph of himself - because of course he did. â-him?â
Fuck, Satoru canât even be mad at the way he feels your cunt clench in surprise - because the feeling is so heavenly. His pretty girl, getting off on just his thigh.
Hips stuttering as you move faster - sloppier. So, so filthily all the way from around his knee just till where you could feel the curve of his massive erection.Â
He doesnât even have to move your hips for you anymore - youâre moving as if on instinct at this point. And it makes him smirk, âHeh, such a slutty lilâ thing arenât ya? Gettinâ off on my thigh?â Feeling you push your hips down hard - so hard. Pelvis desperately trying to hit all your sweet spots, âNâ whoâs thigh are you riding right now?â
Itâs all you can do to manage out a whimpering âY-you.â
But, of course, that wasnât enough. And Satoruâs only quirking his fingers just enough on your clit to make you cry out loud. âYeah thaâs more like it. Louder now - whoâs thigh are you riding right now?â
âYou-â
âNâ who got you this fucking wet?â
You cry out when Satoru angles his leg up ever-so-slightly to watch gravity slide you faster down his thigh. Clit catching so fucking obscenely along the fabric of his pants. Ruthless.
âF-fuck you, Toru!â
âMhmmm, thought so.â His hot tongue darts out to catch those big, fat tears rolling down your cheeks at the unforgiving stimulation. Muscled thighs burning lightly now - faster - Â fingers so erratic. Only getting even more so. âCuz youâre mine arenât ya?â
You cum so hard - violent, even - that you donât realize when you are. Just that youâre letting out a broken sob of Satoruâs name while he toys so relentlessly with your clit through your high.
Flashes of white in your vision, your heartbeat in your ears. So good that youâre almost tearing apart his button-up to shreds, hips jerky and sensitive as you your sloppy cunt gushes all over Satoruâs thigh. And, fuck, youâve never felt so much like such a slut than when you look down to catch the glossy coating all over it.Â
One that Satoru swipes thumb at - pooling the syrupy slick on his fingerpad before bringing up to his pretty pink lips and-
Pop!Â
âMmm.â He groans, muffled. âFuck, youâre so sweet - could taste you forever.â Eyes rolling to the back of his head at your addictive taste, âAlmost makes me forget that you didnât answer my last question.â
And you donât know what youâre reeling more from - the way that Satoru throws you around so easily, pushing you back until youâre splayed out against the plush mattress, shaky legs on his shoulders, arms around his neck. Or from the realization that shit, youâd been too busy losing your absolute sanity to answer his question.Â
âI- I didnât hear.â you make up an excuse, heels digging into the muscles of Satoruâs shoulders now. âIâm yours, Tor-â
âNow now, donât try that with me, sweetheart.â Satoru cuts off your flurry of apologies, kissing softly at the ankle beside his neck while he pulls off your dress and bra. You didnât need those, anyway. âGuess I just hafta prove it to ya, right?â
And fuck was he well and fully intent on proving it to you. Because the words are barely out of his mouth before heâs peeling down his drenched pants - and those unnecessary boxers right along with it, too.Â
Satoru hisses when his painfully hard erection smacks against those toned abs, smearing precum in a small, filthy little pool. So so angry with the need to be inside your tight pussy - to prove to you from the inside out that you were his.Â
âYa like what you see?â he notices your fixed stare at his cock. Greedily following the precum beading at his fat, red head, making its way between Satoruâs prominent veins. To those tufts of white way down, down, down- âHey there.â Youâre startled out of your little reverie by two wet fingers being snapped in your face, âAs flattered as I am, this is actually my favorite part.â
And fuck you could see why it was.
Because it felt so sinful to watch with bated breath at the way Satoru fists his swollen cock, gliding his weeping tip between your swollen folds. Letting your pretty pussy slobber all over him. Up and down. Again. And again. Teasing.Â
âP-please, Toru-â you whine around the fifth time heâs âaccidentallyâ nudging at your poor clit. Hips bucking up in need for more more more- âEnough teasing, jusâ wanâ you ngh- inside me.â
To Satoru, no sweeter words have been spoken. But he still manages to curl his lips into a leering smirk at your fucked-out, needy self. âFunny. Coming from someone who shit- pretty, youâre pussyâs trynna suck me up - who couldnât wait to bail on me tonight for some other hah- jerk.â He presses his thick tip down on your clit, on purpose. âWouldâve fucked you ngh- real nicely, tonight, yâknow? What a shame.âÂ
You can only watch when he draws his hips back, lining up right with your sloppy hole. âWhat a shame mâgonna ah- fuck you like the slut you are right now.â
Itâs all thatâs said before heâs pushing in - to your snug cunt, to your fucking lungs it felt like.Â
âOh- oh fuck, Toru-â you keen, back arching off the bed at the stretch. Satoruâs girth was rubbing up against your gummy walls and stretching them out so good. All the way until all you could feel was the rapid thump! thump! thump! of his throbbing cock pushing between your legs. âGod, sâtoo big-â
âNo no no, you donât get to say that.â Satoru spits into your open mouth, hips jutting forward like some animal in short, shallow grinds to bully himself deeper. âYou donât get to fuck- ngh- act all coy when you brought this upon yourself.â His words come out faster - more slurred. Falling out faster and faster as his hips do, âNot when you decided t-to act like a lilâ slut hah- nâ guess what?â
Whether it was a rhetorical question or not - you werenât sure. All you know is that youâre mewling up tearily at such a feral Satoru, âW-what?â
To which he only smiles against your lips, hips suddenly going still. Dangerously still. âNâ that means mâgonna fuck you like one.â
Before you can even react, heâs pushing in all in one go. Fuck, it never got easier even after so long.Â
âOh- fuck I canât take it- all-â you cry helplessly as he keeps pushing past that first ring of resistance. The curve of his cock massaging all those hidden sweet spots inside while he keeps splitting you apart deeper and deeper - not daring to even slow down. Not until Satoruâs well satisfied with the kiss of your bruised cervix against his thick head ,heavy balls smacking against your marked-up ass.Â
âSee? Knew you could take it, you always do.â
And then heâs moving - not with the slow, persistent determination from before, no. Satoru was so animalistic, bouncing you unapologetically on the mattress.Â
Hands keeping your hips still to let him ram his entire cock inside your tight pussy. Over and over and-
âStill donât think youâre not- fuck- mine, sweetheart?â Satoru runs a hand through his hair to see you better, to drink in the sight of your puffy folds bulging around his cock. Struggling to take in each mean thrust, âBecause this seems ngh- reeeeal convincing that you are.â
You scrunch your brows in a pathetic plea, âI-I am yours, Toru- ngh-â
But he only brings his ear closer, âWhat was th-that? Didnât hah- hear you-â Hands pushing apart your legs until they burned at the stretch. Until you were so shamefully on display for him, âYou hah- need more convincing? Oh, I see.â
âI donât! Oh- T-nghâ
Itâs all you can do to let out teary, broken moans when Satoru rolls his hips harder. So carefully practiced with the way he locates your sweet spot easily.Â
âYeah? You hah- like that?â he groans, words punctuated by a deep, harsh thrust. All hitting the bulls-eye each and every time. âLike me f-fuckinâ you like youâre mine?â
At this point, youâre scrambling at the damp sheets, the headrest, Satoruâs shoulders - just anything and everything to hold onto whateverâs left of your sanity - which seemed to be slipping away with each press of Satoruâs head against your g-spot.Â
But it still wasnât enough.
Languidly, he brings a hand over to pinch your ravaged clit between two fingers. Having you whine so prettily with each roll of his fingertips. âAnswer the question, pretty.â
âYes!â you gasp, feet kicking at the sheer overstimulation. âI love it- ngh shit shit shit- I love it, Toru- love it so much.â
Shit, you mightâve just broken him.
Because while you may have thought that this answer would calm your Satoru down a bit - it only made him snap. Eyes widening, hips stuttering, swollen lips falling into such a fucked-out oh! - he looked like an absolute wreck.
Letting out a low, throaty groan of, âOh fuck, youâre gonna be the ngh- death of me.â With this, heâs pressing his sweaty forehead onto yours, breaths coming out in feverish little puffs that match his merciless cadence. âWish they could fuck- see you like this.â Ramming inside you harder - meaner. Giving your clit a light smack! before he starts playing with it once more. âIâd ah- fuck you in front of all those losers that think they have a chance just to show off how good you are fâme. Because youâre fuck fuck fuck- my good girl, right?â
You nod as much as you can, head just spinning with each brush of Satoruâs dick against your sensitive spots. Fingers twirling at your clit just as dizzyingly. Letting your slick glisten all over his wrist - his painfully squeezing balls - all the way up to his abs with how hard he was fucking into your tight pussy.
The both of you were getting so sloppy now. No care or concern for the party still raging on outside, not when your gummy walls were sucking up Satoruâs aching cock like that.Â
âNo one ngh- can fuck you like this.â Satoru sucks on your lower lip. Ragged, like it pained him to keep talking, but he couldnât stop anyway. âNo one.â Milking you harder and harder like he was high off your sweet moans. More desperate - depraved. âCuz mâyours.â
And he repeats that - into your lips, into your forehead, down your neck - over and over while you cum so fucking hard all on his swollen cock. Plushy walls squeezing so tight that it was almost difficult to fuck you through your high.
Ripping out strangled, raspy groans with each clench of your slutty cunt, âNâ youâre mine.â You think your vision gets hazy through your climax, and the only thing you can hear are those obscene squelches and Satoruâs voice. Like a mantra, âYouâre mine- youâre mine youâre mine youâre mine- fuck youâre mine.â
Not straying too far behind, Satoru cums and he thinks he sees the pearly gates of heaven - with you, such an angel.Â
So sweetly whining into his ear when heâs painting your walls white, pumping rope after rope of thick, hot cum into your awaiting pussy.
Blinking back his vision only to eye the way it overspills, dribbling down your slit with each harsh ram of his hips.Â
âWanâ go again-â Satoru groans. Only fucking his seed deeper and deeper and oh- he didnât want to stop. Didnât think he could stop with the way you were bringing out each and every single last drop like it was delicious. âF-fuck I needa go again. Swee-â
SLAM!
âWoah, seems the two of you are having a looota fun.â
Still not pulling out, both you and Satoru scramble to cover yourselves up with Sukunaâs now-soaked sheets. Well, mainly cover you up, for Satoru had no shame in staring the other man down. Scoffing out, âThe fuck are you fuck- donâ squeeze me so hard, pretty- the fuck are you here for?â
âItâs my room, nâ I had a feeling youâd be here.â Sukuna lets the door shut so agonizingly slow, flashing the two of you a lazy, devilish grin. âBesides - this is my date, after all.â
A/N. Plagiarism of work not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader
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The First Time They See You
đĽ Reading Contents:
First Impressions
Their Immediate Thoughts
What They Think About You
đď¸ Extended Reading Contents:
How You Make Them Feel
What They Tell Others About You
Impact on the Future Relationship
This reading is for entertainment purposes only! Take only what resonates be it all, some or none! â¨
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Pile 1
First Impressions
Cards:Â Eight of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, Page of Wands, The Forgotten, The Founder
For some reason, the first thing that popped into my mind was We Built This City on Rock and Roll. Iâm not sure if that resonates with someone here, but it feels relevantâmaybe you give off a bit of a rebel vibe, or itâs reflected in the way you dress or carry yourself. Something along those lines.
When it comes to first impressions, the one you leave on your person might not necessarily stickâand thatâs not a bad thing. It could simply be that while you remember meeting them, they might not, or the other way around.
I get the sense that your person sees you as someone whoâs done well for themselves. They likely think of you as someone who works hard to get where you are. You might give off an air of enjoying lifeâs luxuries, though not necessarily in a flashy way. It could be more about appreciating the little luxuries, the small joys that bring comfort or happiness.
They might also see you as someone whoâs open to adventure. A scene keeps playing in my mind: youâre chatting with someone, maybe in a store, and your person is off to the side, casually observing. Itâs like the way youâd notice someone having a conversationânot really focused on them, but still aware of their presence.
Their Immediate Thoughts
Cards:Â Nine of Cups, The Sun, The Hanged Man
Your person will really like you. I think theyâll see you as someone who radiates joy or has the ability to bring happiness into peopleâs lives effortlessly. You might have this knack for lifting their spirits or brightening their mood. Thereâs something about you that will subtly shift their perspective as wellâlike a little spark of insight or inspiration. Part of me feels like this could have something to do with the way youâre dressed.
I also sense that this encounter will happen in passingâa brief, fleeting moment. Even so, they might think something along the lines of, Wow, this person is... Perhaps you have a super eccentric style, or maybe itâs just something about your personality that makes you stand out in an unmistakable way.
It feels like this will catch their attention. Their immediate thoughts might be something like, Huh, this person is different, or even, Oh, I really like them. Those are the kinds of impressions Iâm picking up here.
What They Think About You
Cards:Â The Acolyte, The Sentinel Rev, The Catalyst, Amanita - Conduit, Pau DâArco - Metamorphosis
Your person may think of you as someone with feminine qualitiesâexuding a nurturing, gentle energy. They might also see you as a bit whimsical, especially in terms of your appearance. That said, I feel like they could struggle to fully interpret or "read" you. Thereâs a certain complexity to you that they might find intriguing or even a little puzzling. For example, you might come across as someone who is wise and mature, yet youthful in appearance. You could also give off the impression of being a studentâsomeone who is curious about others, always learning, and dedicated to personal growth.
Thereâs definitely a sense of playfulness they might pick up on, too. The imagery that comes to mind is something like a mystical or enchanted vibeâmushrooms, fairies, gnomes, that sort of whimsical, otherworldly energy.
They might also notice that you seem to be someone whoâs always changing. For instance, maybe your hair is dyed one color, but your roots are showing in a different shade, signaling transformation and evolution. It could also be something they pick up on just by overhearing you talk about yourselfâhow you actively seek change and growth rather than waiting for life to happen to you.
Your person might think youâre someone unafraid of the unknown. They could see you as someone who thrives on challenges, always seeking the next thing to conquer or explore. Thereâs also a sense that they might perceive you as confident and self-assured. Depending on the context, this could even come across as arrogance or self-centeredness, but it seems more tied to how much power or presence you haveâand your awareness of it.
They might also view you as someone artistic or deeply connected to nature. Mystical energy keeps coming through strongly, and I think thatâs a key part of how theyâll perceive you the first time they see you.
If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this post! đ
â¨Curious about how you make them feel? ⨠What whispers might they share about you with others? đ¤Ťđ How will that first glance shape your future connection? đđ Dive deeper with the extended access tier on Patreon for the full, in-depth reading đŽâ¨âor read "How You Make Them Feel" as a free member! đđ
Pile 2
First Impressions
Cards:Â Eight of Wands, The Stars, The Devil, The Painter, The Gambler
This is so amusing. I feel like your personâs first impression when they see you is, are you the thing that will save them or the thing that will ruin them completely?
I think you come in very quickly, leaving your person all wide awake and alert. Youâre this beacon of light and hope for them, but at the same time, thereâs something so mysterious and forbidden about you. Pursuing you, or even the idea of having you, feels thrilling, but it also carries an edge of danger. Thatâs the vibe Iâm getting here from the cards.
Itâs like you have the power to show them a whole new world, and that world could be incredible, or it could be devastating. Either way, they seem willing to take the risk and dive in. Honestly, I donât sense any hesitation from themânone at all. Theyâre completely enthralled by you, and thatâs their first impression.
Itâs like⌠wow.
I think they find you incredibly beautiful. In fact, Iâd say theyâre very physically attracted to you, and that plays a significant part in it. For some reason, Iâm also getting that you might come from different cultures, which could add to the intrigue.
But more than anything, thereâs just this overwhelming thrill. Youâre so addictive and so enticingâitâs like, oh my gosh. Thatâs all I can say: oh my gosh. Pile 2, what the heck? Your person is going to be all in for you from the start. Thatâs their first impression.
Their Immediate Thoughts
Cards:Â Ace of Cups, Six of Wands, The World
I think doing this pile is definitely going to be a highlight of my day. Iâm getting that your personâs immediate thoughts are something like, they just want to eat you up. Thatâs the phrase I keep hearing, and it feels like your person has such a bold and playful personalityâit really comes through in this reading. They see you as someone who probably has a ton of romantic attention. Itâs like youâre this irresistible catch, and people are all over you. Thatâs what keeps coming through: youâve got so many people chasing after you, and honestly, I canât see it any other way.
So yeah, their immediate thought is that youâre an absolute catch. Youâve got so much going for youâyouâre stunning, beautiful, and itâs something I keep circling back to throughout this reading.
Your person also seems to think youâd be an amazing lover, and they want to be your lover.
What They Think About You
Cards:Â The merchant, The Pilgrim, The Alchemist, Rue - Protection, Ginkgo - Breakthrough
You seem to have a very magnetic aura, and because of that, you donât let people in very easily. Youâre discerning about who you allow into your energy field. Your energy feels heavily protected, and thatâs something people notice about you right away. They might senseâor assumeâthat youâve got a deeper layer to you, and I think thatâs part of what they initially find so alluring. Thereâs something about you that feels guarded but also captivating.
I think they see you as someone whoâs very confident and aware of your worth. Youâre not the type to settle for less than you deserve, and that confidence is magnetic in itself.
At the same time, they might think youâre a bit lost or lacking direction in where youâre headed. Thereâs this sense that they could see you as someone who might be a little self-destructive at timesâor at least thatâs a perception they could have. Itâs almost like they imagine you as someone who builds yourself up but then occasionally tears it all down.
That dynamicâof being both powerful and a little riskyâis part of what they find so intriguing. They sense thereâs some level of risk in being with you or around you, and thatâs a big part of the pull they feel toward you.
If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this post! đ
â¨Curious about how you make them feel? ⨠What whispers might they share about you with others? đ¤Ťđ How will that first glance shape your future connection? đđ Dive deeper with the extended access tier on Patreon for the full, in-depth reading đŽâ¨âor read "How You Make Them Feel" as a free member! đđ
PILE 3
First Impressions
Cards:Â Knight of Wands, The Star, Ace of Pentacles, The Witch, The Diviner
Your person sees you as someone who is very energetic, optimistic, and motivated, with a go-getter attitude toward the things you set your mind to. Their first impression might be that youâre someone who comes up with a lot of great ideas and has the potential for successful outcomesâthough what âsuccessâ means might vary. Rather than defining it specifically, letâs just say they see you as someone likely to achieve positive results.
They also view you as someone very hopeful, someone who tries to see the best in situations without ignoring potential risks. You seem to strike a balance, focusing on the positives while still acknowledging the negatives. Depending on the context, you might come across as slightly impulsive, but overall, they perceive you as charismatic and confident.
Thereâs a mystical quality about you, too. They might feel like you have all the answers or that youâve got the path ahead of you figured out, which leaves them a little mystified. At the same time, you might seem like youâre in your own world, unconcerned with what others are doing and entirely focused on your own goalsâwhat you need to do to get from point A to point B.
They might also pick up on an earthy, natural vibe from you. Thereâs a sense that you could have an interest in nature, architecture, or even herbalism. These impressions might come across subtly, but they add to the idea that youâre someone who knows a lot about those kinds of things, or at least gives off that impression.
Their Immediate Thoughts
Cards:Â Ten of Swords, Six of Swords, Page of Swords
This won't resonate with everyone, but Iâm picking up on an image of someone wearing a shawl and a lot of bangles or bracelets on their wristsâdepending on how they express themselves. Glasses might also come to mind, along with imagery of a greenhouse or a guest speaker at an event. Of course, this could be very specific and apply to just one person.
Your person might perceive you as someone currently in a "solo era." It feels like youâre focused on healing, recovery, or just regaining balance after a draining experience. This could suggest youâre not actively seeking social connections right now.
Alternatively, if youâre working on a project or an idea with long-term potential, they may see you as someone who prefers to handle things independently. This could lead them to think youâre not particularly looking to collaborate at the moment. They might also believe youâre already in a relationship, which would tie into their perception that youâre either unavailable for social connections or preoccupied with your personal work.
Another thing they could sense about you is that youâre someone who has "breakthrough ideas," particularly in environments like school, work, or professional settings. They might see you as a person who consistently comes up with fresh, innovative concepts.
Overall, they view you as someone transitioningâleaving something behind and moving toward something healthier. It feels like "recovery mode" is a recurring theme. Whatever youâre moving on from, they think youâre navigating it with purpose.
What They Think About You
Cards: The Warrior, The Botanist, The Mascareri, Horsetail - Patience, Cacao - Initiation
Their thoughts align with an image of someone deeply connected to nature. They might imagine you working with plants, exploring nature, or pursuing hobbies like painting, pottery, or other creative, hands-on activitiesâperhaps even as a profession.
They might see you as someone who strives for perfection, but they could also feel that you hide your authentic self behind a mask of this perfectionism. At the same time, they view you as nurturing, patient, and willing to put in the necessary effort to see something bloom, even if it requires isolation.
Wherever they encounter you, it seems like they see you in your elementâwhether itâs creating, strategizing, or working on something meaningful. Thereâs a serene and calm energy about you, almost like a "green witch" archetype, embodying a sense of harmony and trust in the process of life.
They might feel that you have a strong connection to the Divine, as many of the cards reflect this theme. Thereâs a sense of familiarity they might feel with your soul, as if they intuitively recognize something deep about you.
Itâs possible they see you as a teacher or mentor in some wayâsomeone they watch and learn from, whether intentionally or by circumstance. This observant nature suggests a level of intrigue on their part. They might think: âI know this personâs soul,â and this thought could leave them feeling both curious and captivated by your essence.
If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this post! đ
â¨Curious about how you make them feel? ⨠What whispers might they share about you with others? đ¤Ťđ How will that first glance shape your future connection? đđ Dive deeper with the extended access tier on Patreon for the full, in-depth reading đŽâ¨âor read "How You Make Them Feel" as a free member! đđ
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Messages From Your Soulmate!đđđ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
Hi, it's Lunadream𩷠In this reading you will find messages from your soulmate, what they want to tell you~â¨ď¸đ So your soulmate can be the person that is meant for you, feel free to interpret any way you like! hope you find your messageđ§Ą
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!⥠If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your soulmate, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~đđŠˇđ
Pile 1đ¸
Pile 2đ
Pile 3â¨ď¸
Pile 4đ
Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~âĄ
On to the readings â> đŠˇ
Pile 1đ¸
Sign energy: Innocence, Spiral, Therapy, April, Even, Chiron, Virgo, Fire, Sagittarius, Aquarius,đŁđââď¸âď¸đ
đ§ĄYour soulmate's energy: First of all this person is the sweetest! Their energy is just so soft and bright.đ My pile 1's your soulmate is has a very pure soul and also a very innocent mind.đ This soulmate is kind and loving, I'm also hearing fragile. They could have a sensitive side, they feel like a therapist because their energy is so caring and helpful.đĽşđŠˇ The envolope emoji is definitely confirmation that this person wants to send you a message, haha. Some of you may know this person from online or a community, they could be going through something similar to you right now or have the same emotional wounds/sensitivities as you.đŤđ Your soulmate has a loving and nurturing energy towards you, they energetically feel any pain or difficulties you have and whenever you feel down. This person could have Virgo, Sagittarius, or Aquarius placements, Chiron in Aquarius or Virgo, Also fire energy is present here. April may be a significant time for your soulmate, maybe that is your meeting time or someone's birthday.đ This person is light hearted and enjoyable, it feels like you and this person are in similar situations or stage of life. Like if you're starting college or job, they are on the same page.đđź This person watches you from a distance and wants to help you and be by your side, It is possible that this soulmate is going to be a coworker or someone you collaborate with.đ¤ They have a bright smile that can cure depression I'm hearing, and this soulmate is a very healing connection for my pile 1's.âşď¸đ It feels like you and this person have shared experiences, or part of the same community. Maybe they felt surpressed or unable to fit into certain expectations. Your soulmate is a free-thinker and you are both very like-minded. No wonder this is your soulmate because it feels like you are meant come together and heal eachother!đŤśâ¤ď¸âđŠš
đMessages from them: Far away, Trial and error, Role, Hair, Follower, Water, Neptune, 5th house, Capricorn, Vertex, I wish I could control anything, Don't be so sad, It makes me nervous, I feel your pain, Your soul is mine, I like you, I understand you, You have so much worth,đ¤âď¸đŤđ
Ohh okay so your soulmate wants you to know that they are far away right now, but they will do anything to follow youđ˘â¤ď¸ They want to play a role in your love life, and bring you the love and attention you deserve.đđ They want you to stay strong, they are taking steps to get where they need to be for you. It feels like this person is working hard on themselves right now, they want to be successful and able to provide and support you.đźđ° Your soulmate wants you to know they are going to give you everything, also they hope you won't waste your energy and time falling into obsession with every detail of your future spouse or into romantic connections that may not be realistic or true. They want you to know THEY are the real deal, a serious solid lover and not a one sided or half hearted relationship.đ¤đŤ Wow, your soulmate is possessive over you and wants to tell you that you don't deserve to be neglected or give your energy away with nothing in return, this energy is kinda ticked off tbh like that really bothers your soulmate. So they really hope you won't give in to toxic connections that aren't giving you any love or care.đ Your soulmate wants to let you know that your pain is their pain and they hate seeing you upset, they want to be available to you right now.đ Also another message is that your soulmate wants to let you know that your hair/head is very attractive.đŠˇâ¨ď¸ They want you to know that they will inevitably find their way to you despite all the obstacles and trials. They're lightly complaining about how they wish they could take care of you and make things easier on youđĽşđ They feel a strong sense of responsibility to make sure you are okay and taken care of, they wish they could fill the care-taker role for you, like help you with your schedule and cook for you evenđľđł Your soulmate wants you to be confident in their existence, like "Yes pile 1 your perfect person is out there working hard to come to you", they don't want you to lose hope or overthink things but instead happily accept their promise and energy and let everything fall into place!đ They are genuinely loving and attentive to you pile 1!
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!đ¤đ
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Ę(ď˝ĄË áľ Ë )É If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the guitar emoji~đ¸ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next readingđđŠˇ
Pile 2đ
Sign energy: Fight, Role, Mermaid, Jawbone, Children, 4th house, Cancer, Taurus, Vertex, 9th house,đđĽđâşď¸
đ§ĄYour soulmate's energy: Aw this is cute! Your soulmate is really caring and comforting, especially for your inner-child𧸠They are very family-oriented and fiercely protective, like they would fight anyone who hurts their loved ones.đ˘đĽ Their jaw and neck are very attractive and noticable, also their voice is soothing and sweet. My pile 2's your soulmate is such a softie but strong, they're like a gentle giant on the inside!đĽ°đ Also they have such a siren energy and vibe to them, they could have red hair like Arielâ¤ď¸ For those who this soulmate is a feminine, they wear beautiful dresses, also whether a feminine or a masculine they may often wear soft huggable clothes. This person is just so sweet I love their energyđ They would make a great spouse or parent, they are very caring towards you like you're their baby. Their placements could be Cancer, Taurus, or Sagittarius, it's very likely for them to have 4th house placements. Your soulmate plays a crucial role in your home life, for some this could be someone who has lived overseas or is a foreigner settling down in a new country.đ đđŤ Family is extremely important to your soulmate, you will have a strong bond with this person. Also! Your soulmate literally gives the best hugs, the most comforting and loving cuddlesđŠđŤ You may meet them in their home country or abroad, but for some in your neighborhood. They will feel familiar to you, like you have known them forever. They have a good amount of feminine energy which makes them so caring and loving𩷠It's very likely that a lot of you in this pile will start a family with this person, even have children for some. But overall this person's energy just feels like home to you, I'm also hearing "number one dad/mom" that may resonate for some. Your soulmate may be someone you really want to tie the knot with, they're also someone really committed and devoted to their spouse or familyđđ Your soulmate is definitely giving "trophy husband/wife" lol, I love how they're both extremely kind and gentle but they also have a fiery rougher side that comes out when them or their loved ones are theatened in any way.đŞđĽ Your soulmate may like the color blue, and interested in other countries and cultures. They are extremely caring and sweet to you.đŤđŠˇ
đMessages from them: Career, First, Aura, Believe, Fishing, 8th house, Earth, South node, Fire, Pluto, Whatever, This is interesting, You make me blush, I want to hurt you so good, There's no chance, I want to surprise you, Your energy is so youthful, Kiss me and don't stop,đşđŞ˝đ¸đ˘
Alright so I was surprised by the suggestive energy that sort of popped out of nowhere lmao I guess that's what your soulmate means by wanting to surprise youđłâ¤ď¸âđĽ I wasn't expecting such passionate energy from them, they have a lot of romantic feelings and attraction towards you. They want you to feel their intensity and love for you, like they can't hide it omg. Your soulmate seems like the type to openly express their romantic/sensual thoughts and feelings for youđđ I think they would be whispering sweet nothings to you right now, that's a lot of their messages honestly. I'm trying to keep this pile light, but your soulmate is real naughtyđ They also want to tell you that they're obsessed with you, haha also they're kind of a troublemaker like they are such a tease in a cute way.đđ I think it's interesting that "career first" came out, I think they're trying to say either you or them need to focus on their stability and professions right now before coming together đđź I'm hearing "this is what I need to do", they want to make a solid foundation for you, this could also be because they want to move in with you and they feel like they need to have the means for that. Also this sounds hilarious but your soulmate wishes they could just abduct you like an alien and bring you into their life instantlyđđ Lmao this person will definitely make you laugh, they're so funny. They really do want you with them right now, but they know they still have responsibilities to take care of at this time before they can finally have youđ Your soulmate wants to properly shift into a stable and secure earthly energy before you are divinely united, they want to tell you that their life is like a rollercoaster and is too chaotic right nowđ˘đĽđŹ They feel like they're not capable enough to have you. They want you to feel their loving energy and believe in them, believe that fate will bring them to you. Maybe they also feel like their energy may be too intense for you right now, and they need to raise their vibrations to meet your standardđ𩷠Your soulmate wants you to know that they are preparing themselves for you, becoming their best self to present to you. They might be coming sooner than you think, because they feel a little impatient to be with you.đ
But they're resisting impulsiveness in order to make sure they are right for you.đ
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!đ¤đ
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Ę(ď˝ĄË áľ Ë )É If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the fallen leaves emoji~đ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next readingđđŠˇ
Pile 3â¨ď¸
Sign energy: Lovesick, More, Sarcasm, Cinderella, Options, Air, Fire, 7th house, Uranus, 1st house,âď¸đŤđ¨đŠâđŹ
đ§ĄYour soulmate's energy: Ah so interesting, your soulmate is uniquely beautifulâď¸ The second you meet them you will notice how they aren't quite like anyone else, something about them definitely stands out.đ¤đŠˇ For some reason I'm getting that a lot of people may be envious or out to get this person, their individuality makes others on the fence. Your soulmate is experimental and they may not have a set ideal type. Your soulmate is very innovative especially in their relationships, oh you know they might be a fire or air moonđ Libra or Aquarius placements, Aries, 1st house aspects, their energy has a lot of duality. They can be feminine or masculine, wild or tame, dreamy or realistic depending on the time or mood. Your soulmate has a lot of contacts and close relationships, I'm also seeing lots of options romantically take that however it fits. Blue and yellow are significant colors for them, maybe those could be favorite colorsđđ I feel like this soulmate doesn't like fitting into gender roles/labels, they desire something new and differentđĄđ This pile could either go two ways, for the first half of you, this person is a hopeless romantic and Impulsive with finding love/suitorsâ¤ď¸âđĽđ For others are the complete opposite and maybe stopped caring about love and relationships because they don't want to feel constrained and vulnerable.đđŤ Now I am seeing the duality of the terms "hopeless romantic" and "hopeless romantic" if you know what I meanâšď¸đ This person may have tried several dating apps or hoped to find the one but none of the options clicked with them. Your soulmate may be very disappointed or even disgusted by love, I'm hearing "I want something more" that could be their thoughts on loveđĽ For some of you this person may look like a player or like they have a lot of suitors, but they just roll their eyes because they can't feel any spark with those people. They feel like they still haven't found the one, their soulmate, which is pile 3𼰠I'm hearing this person is not settling for something dull, they want to find a real passionate and unique romance that lights up their worldđŠˇâ¨ď¸
đMessages from them: Mouth, Legs, Taste, Vent, Friendly, Eros, Moon, Vertex, Aquarius, Pluto, I wish I could control it, Think of me, I'm stuck with you, It's not me, You have a future ahead of you, I love the way you dress Your fantasies are unreasonable, I wanna take you down,đ§ââď¸đđđ§Š
Okay this is interesting, I actually forgot to mention a lot of you may start out as friends with your soulmate, but there is a really strong energy of friends with benefits.đł Honestly for some of my pile 3's your person is a freak and they can't hide it, they might even try to stay in the friendzone for their sake or yours.đđ So anyway, your soulmate has many messages for you, in a way that they kinda want to vent to you right now lmao. Your soulmate would tell you they're on their knees praying for you to walk into their life.đ𩷠And this is your soulmate but not necessarily your next partner, so they're honestly afraid because they feel like they have no control over your fate and they don't know for certain if you will choose them or fall for someone elseđ Their heart is pouring out from their words my pile 3's they wish you were with them right now. I almost said future spouse lol but yeah your soulmate is being very open with you about how possessive and insecure they are feeling because they aren't yours.đ°đ I think this person might not know you two are meant to be, they want to hold on to you tight pile 3. This person is afraid of losing you (or never having you) tbh too they get really turned on by you but they can't control it they just feel so attracted to you.â¤ď¸âđĽđŤ This may get in the way of your friendship at the beginning of this connection, so they try to hide it. Your soulmate hopes you will think of them as more than a friend, also they wanna tell you that you always dress really niceđŤŚđ I think mainly it feels like your soulmate wants to rid of the buddy-buddy energy between you both, they don't like acting friendly to you and want to be closer to you in a more intimate romantic wayđŤ˘â¨ď¸ So that's what they want you to know, maybe they're afraid of you seeing them as a friend when you meet them or of you've already seen them that way. They also feel like you have strange requirements in love but they want you to know they can fulfill those unlike anyone else.đŤŁđ They want to tell you they're your perfect match, I'm thinking "match your speed" however that resonates. Your soulmate also wants you to know how much they care about you and that you bring them the most comfort.đŤđŠˇ I'm hearing "You are my missing piece"đ˘đ
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!đ¤đ
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Ę(ď˝ĄË áľ Ë )É If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sparkle emoji~â¨ď¸ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next readingđđŠˇ
Pile 4đ
Sign energy: Childhood, Affect, Gold, Unafraid, Trauma, Uranus, 2nd house, Earth, Mercury, Sagittarius,đżâ¸ď¸đ¤đŞ
â ď¸Note: Brief mentions of verbal mistreatment, proceed with caution!
đ§ĄYour soulmate's energy: Okay this pile may be a little sensitive topic, but your soulmate may have some childhood trauma.âšď¸ Especially verbal abuse or being treated differently, your soulmate may have felt like an outcast.đ I think this affected their self worth and caused them to feel like they lack value in some way, so this person tries to accommodate by becoming more beautiful, richer, smarter, ect. I am definitely seeing your soulmate rising above those who looked down on them, and their current energy is now stable and successful.â¨ď¸ They don't let anyone bring them down, and now they have very strong boundaries and high standards. Your soulmate is unique and may be from another culture/religion than you, for some they may have converted to a different religion from what they were raised in. Ice skating may be significant, also they may be a public speaker, singer, or lecturer and they are quite financially stable in their career.đźđ°đ¸ Your soulmate has such a grounded energy, like no one can affect them because they are so strong and successful.đ Your soulmate wears jewelry or luxury items like watches, handbags, earrings, fancy stuff. Purple is a significant color here, your soulmate could definitely be rich. My pile 4's soulmate has an inspiring life story, like their life could be made into a movie lol.đĽđ They have such a fancy vibe about them, also a nice voice. This person could be an online beauty influencer for some, but I'm also seeing that as this person definitely loves online shopping.đđˇ Signs for them could be Aquarius, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, also placements like uranus in 2nd house, mercury in earth signs or sagittarius, uranus in sagittarius, chiron conjunct mercury or uranus. Omg pile 4 your soulmate is so pretty?? Their beauty has a radiating affect on others, so graceful and charming.đ They could definitely wear golden jewelry and accessories, I'm imagining wrist wear for some of my pile 4's. Also maybe a gold-ish skin tone? Lol their skin just glows, your soulmate is a stunning and expensive person!!
đMessages from them: Makeup, Message, Treat, Leo, Invitation, Pisces, North node, Vertex, Aquarius, 10th house, It's hard to make this work, Don't compare yourself, I know, Seriously? I think we're alike, Let me know, They're just jealous, What did I do?đ§Łđđđ¸
Haha ok this is interesting, so your soulmate wants to tell you that even if things get tough, please don't be hard on yourself pile 4đĽşđ They don't want you to blame yourself for difficult times, or compare yourself to others that seem more successful or achieved than you. Also specifically they don't want you to compare yourself to beauty influencers or celebrities, your soulmate is saying that no one wakes up effortlessly attractive or accomplished and not everything is as it seems.đđŤ That message is really coming out strongly from your soulmate, they hate seeing you upset or feeling like you aren't good enough. Your soulmate hopes you will treat yourself with pride, respect and self loveđŠˇâ¨ď¸ Also for some of my pile 4's your relationship with this soulmate may recieve public recognition and even jealousy, so your soulmate wants to let you know that won't keep you two apart.đš I'm hearing people making up rumors and delusions about you two, but your soulmate doesn't want you to let them affect you. Also only for some but you may get an opportunity to work with your soulmate, could be an online campaign or some sort of collaboration that will bring attention to you both.đđ¸ I am seeing some of my pile 4's might compare themselves to this soulmate, and they are here to assure you that you two are no different. It may seem like this person is more efficient or ahead of you in some way, but they want you to know that they are not as great as they appear and they make mistakes just like anyone else.âšď¸đ Your soulmate really wants you to know that you are just as good as anyone else, they want you to remember your worth. You are someone admirable to them, they themselves are a greatly respected and loved person but they only see you.đ𩷠So pile 4 your soulmate wants you to keep your chin up and love the person you have become! They are so proud of you and they are your biggest supporter, they believe in you.đĽ°
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!đ¤đ
I hope you enjoyed your reading! Ę(ď˝ĄË áľ Ë )É If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the orange leaf emoji~đ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next readingđđŠˇ
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!đđđ¸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/đ -Lunadream <3
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RESPONSIBLE DADS - LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MEN X READER
Warnings : autistic!Zayne with his autistic daughter, all of them are girl dads here (except for Xavier who has twins), cuteness-aggression bites, one mention of a gun (no one is harmed!), no mentions of pregnancy (their kids can be interpreted as biological or adopted), this isnât proof-read, reader is gender-neutral!
Genre : so much domestic fluff âšď¸đŤśđ˝
Word count : 2.3K words (holy shit???)
Additional notes : This is a combination of two asks Iâd received a month or two ago about the LNDS men as dads while their partner is away, and Zayne in particular struggling with his own autism vs his childâs autism. The brain rot was real in this oneđ To anyone else reading this, my requests are still closed!! These are just old requests I had in my inboxđŤśđ˝
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âShe went down without much of a fuss,â Zayne said, slowly closing the bedroom door behind him as he set his phone on the dresser and got ready for bed over the video call, despite the time zone differences. Heâd tried to convince them to just let themself rest instead of staying up past 3 AM, but theyâd paid him no mind and insisted on seeing him last thing before bed.
They hummed, watching him slip out of his button up through their screen with a fond gaze. âShe is really quiet compared to what Iâve heard about kids her age.â
In the midst of folding his shirt, he paused, a slight crease between his eyebrows. âA little too quiet.â At his concerned face, they straightened up in their seat and leaned in closer to their phone. âI think⌠she has difficulty connecting with me.â
Their expression was unsure at that. âI donât know, Zayne. You know she loves youâŚâ
âI do,â was his swift answer, pausing as he pulled his pyjama shirt over his head, then popping out with his hair adorably mussed. âBut maybe she feels like I wouldnât understand her.â
No matter how much he wanted to seem stoic and unaffected by the prospect, there was no hiding the conflicted emotions swimming in his eyes. With an almost sad smile, they asked him, âEven though anyone that sees you two says you have so much in common?â
With a slight flush (was it out of embarrassment as he noticed his messy hair, or was it a twinge of pride in being so connected to his daughter?) he began to apply his minimal skincare that heâd grown used to with them, scarred skin deftly being cared for after years of neglect.
âAutistic girls have different experiences than autistic boys, and their struggles are often overlooked because of these differences. Maybe she subconsciously feels that we canât bridge that gap.â
Resting their head against their hand, keen eyes bore through him. Zayne would never go unheard as long as they were there. âDo you feel that gap?â
He shrugged, swallowing thickly as he wiped the excess off on his hand towel. âItâs not about me. Studies show thatââ
Shaking their head, they sighed a little in affectionate exasperation. âIt doesnât matter what studies say. Youâre overthinking it because you want things to be perfect. Itâs sweet, just⌠not very realistic.â
âMm. I know,â he softly conceded, combing through his hair with a distant glimmer in his eyes. It wasnât so easy, navigating the emotions and ideas of a child that one already struggled with for decades.
They apologetically smiled at him, then added, âShe trusts you with her life because she knows how hard you try to understand her, no matter how difficult that may be sometimes. You give her the space to be able to communicate her needs properly, and thatâs why she loves you beyond measure, Zayne.â
He looked away for a few beats, but that was enough time for them to see the misty-eyed wonder in his eyes as he looked at the crooked drawing on his bedside table that sheâd made of him holding her in his arms.
His sweet daughter who carried a piece of his heart everywhere she went.
âThen sheâs just like you. Very open with her affections.â Huffing out an impossibly tender laugh, he picked up his phone once again and began to climb into bed, his shoulders sagging with relief; like he needed that reassurance to be able to nestle his body into the mattress, cold as it was without his lover. âSometimes I wonder what I did to deserve it from you bothâŚâ
âYouâre gonna get sick like that, and guess whoâll be cleaning up that mess?â Rafayel frowned, grabbing his daughter by the scruff of her neck and carrying her off before she got her pretty dress drenched by the wave that came crashing down where sheâd been standing.
âI canât get sick from water, daddy, and you know it,â came the reply between giggles, her eyes closed as she relished in the spray of seawater.
With a grunt, he fumbled with his phone a little as he switched to carrying her against his hip with one arm, before turning back to the ongoing video call. âHolding down the fort?â they teasingly asked, arching their brow at their daughterâs windswept hair and inevitably sandy fists curled up against Rafayelâs chest.
âShe likes to bully me.â He pouted as he saw two pairs of mischievous eyes looking at him. âNo guesses as to where she picked that up from.â
âAre you sure that your six year old daughterâwho, mind you, is as cute as a buttonâis bullying you?â
âDaddyâs just silly, Lemurians are fine with water,â his daughter tried to reason with what she felt was perfectly logical. âHe just doesnât want to wash my clothes again if I get them wet.â
âAnd why should I?â he indignantly huffed out at the grin that showed she was definitely up to no good. âTheyâll get dirty ten seconds later anyways. Itâs such a pain.â
âMaybe you shouldnât leave paint buckets everywhere, then I wouldnât be on my fourth dress of the day.â Her sassy mutter under her breath was the last straw, and then his instincts took over andâ
Chomp!
His teeth nibbled on her round little cheeks, cuteness aggression washing away any possible annoyance (which heâd been feigning, anyways) at the prospect of having to do the laundry all over again. She cried out in protest, though her shreaks of laughter and tighter hold on him gave away the fact thatânot unlike his partnerâshe loved every bit of it.
âYou got my face all dirty,â she whined, wiping her cheek against his silk shirt as he walked them back up to the house, much to his dismay.
A chuckle came from his screen, and he flushed under the sweet gaze and the grin he missed so much. âThere goes another round in the washing machine. Yâknow, Raf, itâs not the smartest move around to wear your favorite clothes around your kid.â
âNo kidding,â he grumbled, though there was no bite behind his words. In fact, the tender look in his gem-like eyes only spoke volumes of the adoration he held inside. And maybe his little girl felt it, and decided it would be the perfect moment to press a kiss to where she could reach, right over his heart.
âI donât mind the paint, daddy. You always make the prettiest things with it, pretty just like you,â she softly said, her tiny index finger toying with the pearlescent button on his blouse.
How much more did she want to squeeze his heart in his chest? He didnât think he could possibly love her any more than he already did, and yet here she was, proving over and over again that she was the greatest gift he could ever be blessed with after all these years. Walking into their home with sandy feet and salty skin was no longer a dream, but a part of his quaint little life.
âEven if you did ruin my favorite dress and sandals.â
âPapaâs been asleep for three hours now,â she whined in a low voice, her bottom lip jutted out as she looked back at Xavier curled up in a ball in the middle of the unmade bed, legs tangled in the messy sheets. She then turned back to the videocall at hand. âCanât you wake him up, please?â
Her twin brother popped up from behind her and patted her shoulders in what he hoped was a soothing manner. âHeâs tired after he played with us. Letâs leave him for a bit.â
With a downcast gaze, she reluctantly nodded and walked out with him, the phone shaking as it was a little too big for her small hands.
Now out in the living room, they could finally raise their voices a little. âPapa cleaned up in the morning too. We probably shouldnât have asked him to play with us.â He looked a little forlorn as he fiddled with his fingers. Painfully shy, it often showed when he was doubting himself. âWe tried to help him after lunch, butââ
âThatâs okay, what matters is that you both tried to lend him a hand,â they sweetly reassured them as they smiled through the screen. âAnd Iâm sure if he was too tired to play with you guys, he wouldnât have offered it in the first place.â
Their daughter gasped, eyes shining in awe at that. âHow did you know that Papa was the one who came up with the game?â
âBecause he waits for playtime every day, just to spend time with you guys. Heâs always so excited, yâknow?â
With matching grins (though one was more bashful than the other), the two seven year-olds looked significantly lighter than they had been when the call had first started. The precious moment was soon interrupted by a yawn from behind and a tuft of blonde hair taking up half the background.
âDid you two sneak off to have them all to yourself?â came Xavier��s sleep-addled voice, as he shuffled to pull them onto his lap and readjust the camera. âCheeky, taking advantage of my nap.â
His daughter laughed, her hands going to loop around his neck. âWe werenât! Promise.â
Her brother reached up to pat down Xavierâs bedhead, gently combing through the soft locks. âYou looked tired, Papa. We didnât want to wake you up with our voices.â
At that, Xavier couldnât help the upwards quirk of his lips, all the love one could contain threatening to burst through as he held his world between his fingertipsâand the best part of him miles away but no further from the heart.
âYouâre sweet, just like a certain someone we all miss,â he said, before kissing their foreheads and ruffling their hair, earning little grumbles of protest. Turning his attention back to the videocall, Xavierâs eyes softened. âHow long until we can take naps together on the couch again?â
His partner sighed, glancing at the calender on the wall for a moment. âShould be three days. Itâs hell without you guys. Maybe Iâve gotten used to waking you all up for an hour in the mornings.â
âHey, itâs all because of Papa!â
âHe does sleep in twice as long as usâŚâ
âAnd itâs gotten even worse now that youâre gone.â
He chuckled at their sulking feeding off each other, and the collective agreement that things just werenât the same when his lover wasnât beside him where they belonged. âThen maybe this should be enough to convince them to hurry back to us so we can get up early every day, hmm?â
âTell me why Luke and Kieran frantically called me up and told me stop you from endangering our one year old girl. Now.â
âWell, hello to you too, sweetie.â Sylus rolled his eyes at the clearly enthusiastic greeting. âIâve missed you too. Iâm doing good without you for two weeks. Thanks for asking.â
âYeah, yeah, donât give me that crap. Youâll live.â Scoffing, they crossed their arms in front of their chest. âLess avoiding the topic, more explaining why your seconds in command are treating you like a ticking bomb.â
âTheyâre more like lackeys, you know.â A hint of irritation climbed up his spine. Luke and Kieran were more like lost puppies that would be a danger to themselvesâand societyâif they were left to their whims. Thatâs all that they were (or so he tried to convince himself).
They waved him off, knowing that his half-assed words werenât to be taken seriously. âI beg to differ. Now, where is she and what happened?â
Silence settled for a few moments, but then he realized it wasnât in his favor to not quickly come clean. âShe was playing around with me in bed, then seemed fascinated by my left pocket. Said pocket⌠may or may not have had a gun.â
Leaning in close to the camera, they sighed heavily, and pinched the bridge of their nose. âAnd Iâm assuming her magic little fingers found the trigger.â
âMore or less yes,â he mumbled under his breath, swallowing thickly as he met their dead-eyed stare. âHad to whip it out and fling it across the room⌠which may or may not have caused it to slam into the new bookcase and send it toppling.â
It didnât matter how many people heâd managed to fearlessly face down; pinned underneath his partnerâs disapproval, he found himself unable to move. âAnd thatâs where they came in?â
Sylus hummed, flipping the camera and showing them the fractured remains on the floor. âSorry about that, sweetie. Didnât have the time to clean it up, what with feeding her and getting her ready for bed.â
âItâs fine, I can build another one.â Their quick dismissal was followed by the furrowing of their eyebrows. âWhat matters is that you prioritized her safety first.â
âOf course,â he was quick to reply, turning the camera back to himself, before he chuckled a little, sweetness seeping through his voice, âThough I do admit, seeing her have no self-preservation instincts really did make her strikingly similar to you in that regard.â
âReally flattering, hearing you praise her brashness and compare it to mine.â Their expression then grew more serious, and they worried their bottom lip between their teeth. âBut⌠please. Donât keep any weapons in the same room as her. Sheâs naturally curious.â
âDonât have to tell me twice,â he murmured, having had his dose of sheer panic at her tiny hands. He couldnât remember a moment in his life when heâd been as terrified as he was earlier, his blood turning to ice at the thought of endangering her because of his own fast-paced life.
âI know youâll be more careful. Youâre so good to herâand me,â they quietly mused, a grateful look on their face as they admired himâtired ruby eyes, unruly silver hair, and all.
And Sylus had no control over his own lovesick stare, perfectly content with dancing in their palm for the rest of their lives. After all, heâd found the only two people in this world he could forfeit his life for. There was no shame in admitting itâand so he did, ever so softly. âI suppose you can take pride in knowing that you both have me wrapped around your fingers.â
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âżââ§SPACE BETWEEN USâ§ââż
Pairing: Jungkook X Reader
Genre: college au, friends to lovers, fluffy (?), angst
Trigger warning: it's super cringe!
Word count: 9k
Summary: You have been in love with Jungkook for ages but never said anything. When a surprise date turns into a dramatic showdown, his hidden feelings come crashing to the surface.
a/n: The characters and situations depicted in this chapter are fictional and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The portrayal of emotions and interpersonal dynamics is a creative interpretation and should not be taken as a reflection of real-life relationships or events.a/n: Do not use this story as your own. I don't allow translations or reposting of my work on any platform, including YouTube.
a/n: Yes, you're probably experiencing dĂŠjĂ vuâI'm reposting this without a single edit. After my last account got suspended for reasons beyond my control, I figured what better way to kick off my return than by sharing one of my cringiest fanfics? Honestly, it's pretty on-brand for me, don't you think?
All Rights Reserved Š
@kookiewithluv 2024
You sat in your classroom, the hum of idle chatter around you barely registering. The lecture wouldnât start for another thirty minutes, but you couldnât care less. You just needed to be alone. The weight of recent events pressed down on you like a suffocating blanket, leaving you numb and confused. Your mind raced, thoughts tangled in a mess you couldnât unravel.
Your phone vibrated on the desk, the screen lighting up with notifications. You glanced at it: 200+ texts and 28 missed calls from Jungkook. Without a second thought, you picked up the phone, turned it off, and set it back down. You didnât want to deal with it, with him, with anything. Time seemed to blur as you sat there, your heart aching, your eyes glassy. But the tears wouldnât come. They just sat there, stuck, like everything else inside you.
âBlush? Blush, are you okay?â Jungkookâs voice was soft, almost hesitant, as he spoke beside you.
You flinched, startled out of your thoughts. You hadnât even noticed him sit down. Turning to face him, you were met with a sight that made your chest tighten. He looked so soft, so pretty in that momentâhis pink lips curved into a worried pout, his hair falling messily over his forehead, half-covering those big doe eyes that seemed to shine even more because of it.
He reached out, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder, and called your name again. âBlush,â he said, the nickname rolling off his tongue like a quiet prayer. But you knew better. You did.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked, his voice filled with concern. You just shook your head and forced a small smile, turning away. What were you supposed to say? That you were what was wrong? That youâd fallen for him, knowing heâd never be there to catch you? The words were right there, lodged in your throat, but you swallowed them down, feeling them settle heavy and painful in your stomach. The ache clawed at your insides, begging for release, but you took a deep breath, holding everything in.
Jungkook was still watching you, his gaze piercing through the walls you were trying so hard to build. He gently cupped your face, turning you back to look at him. âEyes on me. Iâm talking,â he said, his tone soft but firm. The way his thumb brushed your cheek was so tender it almost broke you.
âYou shouldââ he began, but the classroom door creaked open, and students started to file in, breaking the moment. He pulled back, checking the time, and you followed his gaze. Just as you both expected, Professor Min walked in, signaling the start of class. Relief washed over you, grateful for the distraction, for the escape. You silently thanked Mr. Min for his impeccable timing.
As the lesson began, you tried to focus, but your mind kept drifting back to Jungkook, to the conversation youâd narrowly avoided. Your chest felt tight, your heart heavy, but you pushed it all down, forcing yourself to stay composed.
The class went on, but all you could think about was how close youâd come to spilling everything. And how you still couldnât bring yourself to do it.
Class ended earlier than expected. Mr. Min had cut the lecture short, saying he had something urgent to attend to. The moment his words left the room, you were already packing up, hands moving frantically as you stuffed your notebook and pens into your bag. Your movements were jerky, almost desperate, as if the faster you moved, the quicker you could escape.
Jungkook was right beside you, his presence heavy like a storm cloud about to break. You didnât look at him, but you could feel his gaze, those eyes you usually found so comforting now burning holes into you. As you zipped up your bag, you felt his fingers twitch, like he was about to reach out, but you didnât give him the chance.
You bolted for the door, your steps quick and purposeful. Just as you reached the threshold, his voiceâa smooth, velvety sound that usually made your heart skipâcalled out your name.
âBlush,â he said, soft and hopeful.
But you didnât stop. You didnât turn around. You didnât even acknowledge him. For the first time, you ran away from him. Your heart hammered in your chest, each beat a painful reminder of what you were doing, but you couldnât stop.
The hallway blurred as you hurried through it, eyes fixed straight ahead, refusing to look back. You knew he was still there, standing in the doorway, probably confused, maybe even hurt. But you couldnât deal with that now. You just needed to be alone.
When you reached the canteen, you went straight to the farthest corner, away from the clusters of students laughing and chatting. You dropped into a chair, slumping down as you pulled the hood of Jungkookâs hoodie over your head, trying to hide from the world. Your hands fiddled with the hem of the hoodie, twisting and tugging at the fabric as if it could somehow ground you, make everything go away.
You curled in on yourself, your head bowed low, eyes fixed on your trembling hands. The familiar scent of Jungkook still clung to the hoodie, but instead of comfort, it brought a fresh wave of pain. You bit your lip, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over.
In that moment, the bustling canteen felt a million miles away. All you could focus on was the way your heart ached, the way it felt like something inside you was slowly breaking apart. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything to release the pressure building up inside you, but instead, you just sat there, hiding beneath the hoodie that was his, trying to hold yourself together, trying to breathe.
You were drowning in your thoughts, the noise around you fading into nothingness. A voice yanked you back to reality, snapping the delicate thread of your spiralling mind. You didnât need to look up to know who it was.
A light touch on your shoulderâsoft, almost hesitantâtried to pull your attention. She already had it, though she didnât realize it, because you still hadnât looked at her. She stood to your left, leaning in slightly.
âAre you okay?â Lilith asked, her voice laced with concern. You kept your eyes down, refusing to meet hers.
Lilith. The campus beauty queen. The girl everyone adored. The girl who loved Jungkook. And everyone knew it, too. They rooted for them to be together, whispering about how perfect theyâd be. The thought made your stomach churn, a bitter taste rising in your mouth. You hated it.
She continued, her tone gentle but insistent. âJungkookie is worried about you. He was searching everywhere for you. You should talk to him. Should I call himââ
Your blood boiled at the sound of that nickname. Jungkookie. He hated that name, had told you so many times how much he despised it but never her. she kept calling him that, oblivious or maybe just indifferent. You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms as you struggled to keep your anger in check.
âNo,â you practically yelled, the word bursting out before you could stop it. Lilith flinched, her eyes wide with shock. She pulled her hand back, her fingers twitching nervously. But you didnât care. You didnât feel guilty. All you felt was angerâanger at yourself for losing control, and a burning hatred for her.
Without another word, you grabbed your bag, roughly shoving it over your shoulder as you pushed past her. She stumbled back slightly, her lips parting as if she wanted to say something, but you didnât give her the chance. You stormed out of the canteen, your chest heaving with frustration.
The fresh air outside did little to calm you. You headed straight for the parking area, your steps quick and determined, each one pounding out the anger inside you. When you reached your car, you spotted it immediately and hurried over, yanking the door open.
You slid into the driverâs seat, slamming the door shut behind you. For a moment, you just sat there, your breathing harsh and uneven. Then, with a frustrated groan, you tossed your bag onto the passenger seat, not caring where it landed. Everything felt too tight, too overwhelming. You buried your face in your hands, your fingers curling into your hair as you tried to steady yourself.
But the anger wouldnât leave, wouldnât let go. It bubbled just beneath the surface, a constant, throbbing ache that wouldnât stop, wouldnât ease. And all you could think about was how much you wished it would just disappear. How much you wished everything would just disappear.
Taking a deep breath, you gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to push all the swirling thoughts out of your head. With a quick motion, you pressed down on the accelerator, and the car roared to life beneath you. You didnât hesitate as you started driving, focusing on the road ahead, wanting to leave everything behind.
But as you drove away, something caught your eye in the rearview mirror. Jungkook. He was running after your car, his face a mix of desperation and panic. You could see his mouth moving, probably yelling your name, but the sound was lost to the roar of the engine and the rush of blood in your ears. You didnât stop. You didnât even slow down. You just kept going, watching as he grew smaller and smaller in the mirror until he disappeared from view.
The ride home was anything but peaceful. The guilt gnawed at you, sinking its claws deeper with every passing mile. You tried to push it away, to convince yourself that you were right to leave, that you needed space. But the image of Jungkookâs face, the way heâd run after you, wouldnât leave your mind. Youâd ignored him all day, and you knew it mustâve hurt him. But you shook your head, refusing to dwell on it. You couldnât handle that right now.
When you finally pulled into the driveway, the silence of your empty house greeted you. You parked the car in the garage, the engineâs hum dying down as you cut the power. The quiet was suffocating as you walked into the house, the echo of your footsteps bouncing off the walls. Your parents werenât home. Again. Even though they had promised they would be. You let out a bitter chuckle, shaking your head at your own foolishness. Why did I even believe them? you thought. It was your birthday tomorrow, and once again, they werenât there. Meetings, partiesâwhatever it was, it was always more important.
You made your way to the living room and sank down onto the couch, turning on the TV in a half-hearted attempt to distract yourself. But nothing on the screen held your attention. The images blurred together, the voices just white noise in the background. Your mind was too cluttered, too full of everything that had happened today, to make sense of anything playing out in front of you.
Frustrated, you got up and headed to your room, the emptiness of the house pressing down on you with every step. You didnât have the energy to cook, the thought of food making your stomach twist. âGuess Iâll sleep hungry tonight,â you muttered to yourself, a hollow laugh escaping your lips.
You collapsed onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of your own breathing. But sleep didnât come. No matter how much you tossed and turned, your mind wouldnât quiet down. Thoughts of Jungkook, your parents, the loneliness that seemed to cling to you like a shadowâit all kept swirling in your head, refusing to let you rest.
You curled up under the covers, pulling them tightly around you as if they could shield you from the thoughts that wouldnât leave you alone. But no matter how hard you tried, the weight of the day wouldnât let you go. And so, you lay there, eyes wide open, the darkness around you feeling like a reflection of the emptiness inside.
You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as the room was cloaked in darkness. The silence around you was heavy, oppressive, and as the memory of the day crashed down on you, the tears began to flow uncontrollably, streaming down your face at an unusual speed.
Tomorrow was supposed to be specialâyour birthday. Even if your parents werenât around, youâd convinced yourself that Jungkookâs presence would make it memorable. This morning, youâd been brimming with excitement. But all of that shattered the moment you stepped onto the college campus.
The crowd had been the first thing you noticedâa sea of students gathered in an unusually large cluster. Your curiosity had drawn you toward it, and youâd squeezed through the masses, pushing past eager onlookers until you reached the front. What you saw made your heart sink.
Lilith and Jungkook stood there, framed by the throng of students. Lilith held a bouquet of flowers, her face radiant with a hopeful smile as she offered it to him. The sight was enough to tell you what was happening. She was proposing. Your heart twisted with a mix of dread and hope as you watched Jungkook. He looked visibly distressed, his hands trembling slightly as he took the bouquet. A flicker of hope ignited in you that he might reject her, but the moment he accepted the flowers, that hope was dashed. The crowd erupted in cheers, and your heart shattered into pieces.
As if the scene couldn't get any worse, it did. The crowd began chanting, âKiss! Kiss! Kiss!â The noise was deafening, each cheer driving the knife of betrayal deeper into your heart. Jungkookâs face flushed with a mix of frustration and embarrassment. He grabbed Lilithâs hand and tugged her away from the crowd, leading her toward a more private corner. You knew it wasnât about him not wanting to kiss her in public; it was about him wanting to keep those private moments just for himself, away from prying eyes.
Recalling the memory now, as tears flowed freely and uncontrollably, your heart felt like it was being squeezed tight. The image of Jungkookâs nervous expression and Lilithâs hopeful eyes replayed in your mind, each scene a fresh cut. The darkness of your room mirrored the darkness in your heart, the weight of the dayâs events pressing down on you with crushing force.
You clutched the pillow to your chest, your sobs muffled but relentless. Each breath came in shaky bursts, and you could feel the tears soaking through the fabric. The tears and the pain were all-consuming, leaving you with nothing but the hollow ache of rejection and betrayal. The silence of the room was deafening, broken only by the sound of your own brokenhearted sobs.
Itâs funny how quickly things change. The person who once made your heart flutter with joy now seemed to be the source of all your misery. But it wasnât his fault. He had no idea of your feelings. You never told him, and now you were left with nothing but regret.
The minutes dragged on with torturous slowness. The clock still hadnât hit 10, and you were restless, your body aching from the weight of your emotions. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, and closed your eyes, hoping to find some semblance of peace. Yet, amid the turmoil, a small spark of hope flickered within you. Maybe, just maybe, Jungkook would call when the clock struck midnight. Maybe, as he had done in the past, he would stand on your doorstep with a big bouquet of daisies, because he knew how much you loved them.
Hope brought with it a tangled mess of uncertainty and fear. Part of you desperately wished for him to come, to see him standing there with that familiar, warm smile. But another part of you feared what that would mean. If he showed up, you knew you might not be able to hold yourself back. The thought of begging him to love you, to confess your feelings, terrified you. You wanted nothing more than to be happy for your best friend, the one you loved with all your heart, without letting your own desires ruin his moment.
As these conflicting thoughts swirled in your mind, you became increasingly aware of the exhaustion that weighed down on you. Your body, worn out from the emotional rollercoaster, finally succumbed to sleep. You hadnât noticed when the weariness took over, but soon you were drifting off, your breathing evening out as the turbulent storm of your mind began to settle into a restless slumber.
The harsh buzz of the alarm clock jolted you awake. You reached out with a groggy hand to silence it, grumbling under your breath. As you blinked your eyes open, a dull ache throbbed in your head, and you winced at the sting of light. Your eyes felt like they were weighed down by sandbags, red and swollen from hours of restless sleep.
With a groan, you rolled out of bed, stumbling toward the bathroom. Each step felt heavy, your body dragging as if weighed down by an invisible burden. You shuffled into the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror with a sense of numb resignation. The sight that met you was far from flattering. Your hair was a tangled mess, and your face was puffy and pale. You let out a shaky breath, your reflection mocking you. "Happy birthday, ugly," you muttered to yourself, bitterness lacing your voice.
You turned on the faucet and splashed cold water onto your face, hoping to wash away the remnants of the nightâs tears. The brisk water was invigorating but did little to lift the fog in your mind. You brushed your teeth mechanically, the familiar routine providing a small comfort. As you stepped into the shower, the warm water hit your skin, but it did little to soothe the ache inside you.
Your thoughts kept drifting back to Jungkook. Youâd hoped heâd come by, as he used to, or at least send a message. But as the minutes ticked by, it became clear you were wrong. You chuckled bitterly at your own foolishness.
He hadnât called.
Not even a text.
It was as if youâd been erased from his life, replaced by someone new.
Finishing up in the shower, you turned off the water and stepped out, feeling cold despite the warmth of the steam. You walked to your closet with a heavy heart and pulled on a simple white tee and blue baggy jeans. You chose a pair of Jordan shoes, not because you don't felt like dressing up, but because you couldnât muster the energy for anything more. The effort felt pointless when it seemed no one remembered or cared about your birthday.
You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you dressed, and the image reflected the hollow ache you felt inside. With a resigned sigh, you walked out of your room, ready to face another day, feeling like a forgotten afterthought.
You hurried out of your house, barely pausing to lock the door behind you. The cold morning air bit at your cheeks as you slid into the driver's seat of your car. Your movements were mechanical, driven by a deep-seated weariness. You started the engine and pulled out of the driveway, the rumble of the car filling the silence of your thoughts.
As you drove to college, Jungkookâs image was a persistent shadow in your mind. Each turn of the wheel seemed to echo with memories of himâhis laughter, his smile, and the sting of his absence. You gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white, as you fought to keep your emotions in check. There was an undercurrent of nervousness you couldnât quite place, a fluttering uncertainty that made your heart race for reasons you couldnât define.
The drive felt endless, each minute dragging by as you replayed yesterdayâs events. By the time you pulled into the college parking lot, you were nearly suffocating with frustration and sadness. You parked your car with swift, jerky movements, almost slamming the gearshift into park.
Stepping out of the car, you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the melancholy that clung to you. The walk from the parking lot to the campus felt like a trek through a fog. Your eyes were downcast, your footsteps heavy as you made your way through the bustling campus. You barely registered the chatter and movement around you, lost in your own turmoil.
You finally reached the canteen, its familiar smell of coffee and breakfast foods mixing with the lingering bitterness in your heart. As you pushed through the doors, the chatter and clatter of trays and dishes surrounded you, but you barely noticed. You moved through the crowded room, shoulders hunched, eyes focused on the path ahead. Finding a spot at a table, you sank into a chair, tossing your bag on the table, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you, as if the whole world was a muted blur around you.
You took a deep breath, getting up and walking to the counter, eyes scanning the options in front of you. The canteen menu was as uninspiring as ever, but hunger gnawed at your stomach, reminding you of your own laziness for not cooking anything. With a resigned sigh, you grabbed a plate of waffles and a cup of coffee, the safest bets in this lackluster spread. After paying, you turned to head back to your table, but something made you freeze mid-step.
There he wasâJungkook. His eyes darted anxiously around the canteen, scanning faces, moving with a restless urgency that made your heart skip a beat. For a brief moment, the urge to bolt gripped you, to just turn around and leave before he spotted you. But you shook your head, grounding yourself. He wasn't looking for you. He was probably searching for his new girlfriend, Lilith. The thought stung, but you swallowed it down and continued back to your table.
You set the plate and coffee down with a soft clatter, sinking into your seat. Just as you lifted the cup to your lips, ready to lose yourself in the warmth of the coffee, you heard itâhis voice cutting through the chatter of the canteen.
"Blush. Blush."
His nickname for you.
His footsteps followed, growing louder as they neared. Your breath caught in your throat as you set the cup back down, unable to take that sip.
In no time, Jungkook was standing right in front of you, his presence commanding, and something was different. You forced yourself to look up at him, your eyes meeting his, only to be met with an expression that sent a shiver down your spine.
Anger? Why did he look angry?
His brow was furrowed, jaw tight, and his eyesâthose usually warm, comforting eyesâwere now darkened with frustration. You couldn't understand it. What did he have to be angry about? Confusion churned in your gut, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, words failing you. The air between you felt charged, heavy with unspoken tension, and you could feel the weight of his gaze bearing down on you, waiting for an explanation you didn't have.
"Why are you ignoring me?" Jungkookâs voice softened as he gazed at you, the anger in his eyes fading into something that looked like sadness. He tossed his bag onto the table beside yours with a thud, then crouched down in front of you, his gaze never leaving your face.
Before you could react, he reached out, grabbing the sides of your chair and turning it to face him. His hands found yours, gripping them tightly, as if afraid you might slip away. The intensity of his touch sent a jolt through you, weakening your resolve. It was a good thing you were already sitting, or your legs might have given out beneath you.
"Blush," he whispered, his voice so soft it barely reached your ears. The sound of your nickname on his lips made your heart clench painfully. God, you loved himâso much it hurt. But what did it matter? You couldnât tell him. He had a girlfriend now. You reminded yourself of this bitter truth, feeling the familiar ache of heartbreak settling in your chest.
You closed your eyes, trying to steady your racing heart. Taking a deep breath, you attempted to pull your hands away from his, but he only held on tighter, his grip almost desperate. It was as if he feared losing you, like you were the one thing keeping him grounded. The intensity of his hold made your heart ache even more. Could it be? No, you must be imagining things.
"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly. "Why are you doing this? Iâm trying to talk to you, and youâre just⌠not talking to me. You ignored me yesterday too."
His words hung in the air, heavy with confusion and hurt. You stared down at your intertwined hands, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. What could you say? There were no words that could fix this. The truth was too painful to speak. You just wanted to disappear, to be anywhere but here. The realization that he didnât even remember your birthday only twisted the knife deeper. You felt like crumbling into pieces, but you stayed silent, holding back the storm of emotions threatening to escape.
You wanted to ask him if he even remembered it was your birthday. Did he really forget you in just one day after getting a girlfriend? It wasnât about him not loving you or you loving himâthat was a secret youâd buried deep. But you were best friends. Did he forget that too? How could he stand here, blaming you, while he acted like nothing was wrong?
But you didnât ask any of those questions. The words that escaped your lips were far different, softer, weaker. âIâm sorry,â you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jungkookâs gaze locked onto yours, searching for somethingâmaybe an explanation, maybe an apology. You couldn't tell.
âI was just⌠Itâs⌠My parents arenât home. And I was feeling sad and lonely,â you lied, trying to force a convincing smile, but it didnât reach your eyes.
For a moment, his eyes softened, the tension in his shoulders easing. He seemed to believe you, and that only made your heart crack a little more. Where had that Jungkook gone? The one who could see through your smiles, who always knew when something was wrong even before you did. The boy who used to notice the sadness hidden behind your laughter was gone, replaced by someone who couldnât even spot the lie on your lips.
He nodded, his grip on your hands loosening slightly. âI get it,â he said, his voice softer now, more understanding. But he didnât get it. Not really. He didnât see the pain you were hiding, the way your heart was shattering piece by piece.
You swallowed hard, biting back the words you wanted to scream. Instead, you just nodded, letting him believe the lie, even though it tore you apart inside.
Jungkook stood up and gently patted your head, his touch warm but distant. "It will be okay, hmm?" he said, his voice soft, almost comforting. You nodded, feeling like a fool. Will it ever be okay? No, it wonât. It can never be okay. You loved him too much for things to be okay. This love was too deep, too consuming to ever fade. The only way for it to end would be for you to end, or else this love would live on inside you forever. That thought terrified youâthe idea of loving him for eternity, never being able to touch him, while time made him forget you. And yet, you'd be left with nothing but memories, trapped in a loop of unrequited feelings.
âBlush?â His voice pulled you back to the present, soft and filled with concern. He smiled at you, that sweet smile he always reserved just for you. But now, that smile only reminded you that he wasnât yours anymoreâif he ever truly was. Nothing about him belonged to you, and maybe it never did. You were just fooling yourself, werenât you?
âDonât think much. Itâll be fine. I promise.â His fingers brushed your face, his thumb tracing lightly over your noseâa gesture that used to make you laugh, that used to light up your world. But now, it only made you want to cry.
You forced a smile, the corners of your mouth lifting just enough to convince him, even though your heart was breaking inside. His touch, his wordsâthey were meant to soothe you, but they only made the ache worse. You wanted to believe him, to cling to the hope he offered, but deep down, you knew better. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Jungkook smiled, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he pulled a chair closer to you and sat down. His happiness was infectious, but it only added to the heaviness in your chest.
"I have something for you," he said, his voice laced with excitement. "want to see it?"
You didnât really want to see it. The weight of exhaustion was already pressing down on you, making you feel dizzy and drained. All you wanted was for him to leave, for this feeling of doom to pass. But you nodded anyway, forcing yourself to respond.
When his eyes lit up at your response, a small part of you felt a flicker of happiness. You watched as he reached for his bag, your gaze following the movements of his hands, wondering what he was up to.
He pulled out a large box of chocolates, and a genuine smile finally touched your lips. For a moment, the weight in your heart lightened just a little. You looked up at him, trying to match his enthusiasm.
"I know you love these," he said, holding the box out to you, "and I thought you were angry at me, so I needed to make it up to you."
You took the box from him, managing a laugh. "I wasnât angry, but thanks," you said, your voice a mix of gratitude and something elseâsomething you couldnât quite name. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture tender and familiar, making your heart ache even more.
But despite the sweetness of the gesture, the happiness didnât quite reach your heart. A box of chocolates wasnât enough to make up for what you really wantedâa simple âHappy Birthdayâ from him. Yet, you pushed those thoughts aside and leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, thanking him for the gift.
As he patted your head soothingly, you closed your eyes, willing yourself to feel the comfort he was trying to offer. But deep down, you knew that nothing could fill the emptiness inside youânot the chocolates, not his touch, not even the sound of his heartbeat close to yours.
You pulled back from the hug, your eyes lingering on his, those big doe eyes that seemed to hold the universe in them. He was everything you could ever want, the very definition of perfection. And maybe thatâs why you couldnât have him. He deserved someone betterâsomeone like her.
He smiled at you, a warm, affectionate smile, and playfully squeezed your cheeks. Just as he was about to say something, a voice interrupted from behind.
âJungkookie!â Lilithâs voice, sickly sweet and sharp, pierced through the air, making you wince.
Jungkookâs head snapped around, and he smiled at her, his entire demeanor shifting in an instant. She came striding towards you both, her high heels clicking loudly on the floor. Jungkookâs eyes widened in surprise, and even you felt a twinge of concern that she might stumble and fall flat on her face. But she didnât.
And as much as you hated to admit it, a small part of you was disappointed that she didnât fall. You wanted her to.
In no time, she was standing in front of Jungkook, her hand sliding into his as she pulled him to his feet. It all happened so quickly, like a flash of lightning. One moment he was sitting with you, his hands gently cupping your cheeks, and the next, he was standing beside her, her arms wrapped possessively around his left arm.
He brushed her arms away, his expression softening as he bent down to your level. âLook, Iâve got to go now. I⌠I have something important to do. Take care and eat the chocolates, okay?â
And just like that, he was gone, leaving you with nothing but a box of chocolates and the emptiness gnawing at your chest.
You stared at the chocolates, the sweetness now a bitter reminder of everything you wanted but couldnât have. It wasnât the chocolates you cravedâit was him. But all you got was this, while she⌠she had everything you wanted.
You turned deliberately back to your food, your appetite gone, but you forced yourself to eat anyway. The food tasted like ash in your mouth, but you swallowed it down, trying to fill the void that only seemed to grow with each bite.
The day dragged on, each hour blurring into the next. You didnât see Jungkook againânot that you expected to. He was probably busy with his new girlfriend, and though you told yourself you didnât care, the truth was harder to swallow. You cared. You cared too much. But you were tired of admitting it, even to yourself.
Finally, the day came to an end. You packed up your things, barely aware of your surroundings as you walked down the corridor, out of the building, and into the parking lot. Spotting your car, you headed straight for it, tossing your bag onto the passenger seat with a sigh.
Just as you were about to start the engine, you heard someone call your name. You glanced out the window and saw a guy waving at you. When your eyes met, he jogged over to your car, his expression nervous but determined.
Standing beside your car, he smiled awkwardly. âHey! You probably know meâŚâ
You shook your head, and his face flushed a deep shade of red. âThatâs okay, Iâm Jay. Weâre in the same class. Literature?â
You nodded, waiting for him to continue, feeling the weight of his nervous energy in the air. He took a deep breath, then suddenly blurted out, âWill you go on a date with me?â
For a moment, the world seemed to stop. His words hung in the air, and you processed them in stunned silence. But as you remained quiet, you saw the panic start to creep into his eyes, his breath quickening. Realizing he might be spiraling, you quickly stepped out of your car and placed a gentle hand on his arm, offering a reassuring smile.
âHey, itâs okay,â you said softly, trying to ease his nerves. âYou donât need to worry.â
He looked at you, relief washing over his face, though he still seemed uncertain. âItâs fine if you donât want to. Iâll understand. Youââ
His eyes lit up, a mixture of surprise and happiness flashing across his face. âPerfect! Iâll pick you up at 7 from your house.â
Your smile faltered slightly, the thought of giving out your address making you uneasy. âNo, itâs okay. Iâll meet you there. Just send me the address.â
You exchanged phone numbers, his excitement almost contagious as he nodded eagerly. You still didnât know him well. But at least this was something different, something that might distract you from everything else.
As you drove home, your thoughts drifted back to Jungkook and the emptiness that had taken root in your heart. But maybe, just maybe, it was time to try something new. To have a little fun, even if it was just to forget the pain, even if only for a night.
Time blurred by, and before you knew it, the clock struck six. Your phone buzzed with a text from Jay, providing the address of the restaurant. You glanced at the message before quickly getting ready, slipping into a simple black dressânothing fancy, but short enough to make an impression. With one last look in the mirror, you grabbed your keys and headed out.
The drive to the restaurant was uneventful, your mind wandering as you navigated the familiar streets. When you arrived, the small vintage-themed restaurant immediately caught your eye. It was charming, with a warm, inviting atmosphere that made you smile. You stepped inside, scanning the room until you spotted Jay sitting in the corner, waving at you enthusiastically. You had to stifle a laughâwaving seemed to be his signature move.
You walked over, and as you approached, he quickly stood up and pulled out your chair with a shy grin. âQuite a gentleman, arenât you?â you teased, unable to resist. His cheeks flushed pink, and he mumbled, âYou look really beautiful.â
Settling into your seat, you felt a small flutter of satisfaction at his compliment. He ordered food for both of you, and the conversation began to flow naturally. Jay was niceâeasy to talk to, with a soft demeanor that made the evening pleasant.
But then, mid-conversation, you noticed his hand suddenly move toward yours. He placed it on top of your hand, his touch tentative and shy. The urge to laugh bubbled up again, but you forced it down, deciding to let it slide. It didnât feel right, but you didnât say anything, noticing how nervous he was.
However, Jay seemed to misinterpret your silence. A few moments later, he scooted his chair closer to yours, his face inching toward you with a look that was all too clear. Your eyes widened in alarm, and you instinctively leaned back, creating distance. But Jay didnât get the messageâhe continued leaning in, oblivious to your discomfort.
You opened your mouth, ready to stop him, but the words never left your lips. In the blink of an eye, Jay was on the floor, groaning in pain, clutching his side as he struggled to catch his breath.
And standing above him, fists clenched and jaw tight, was Jungkook.
His chest heaved with barely restrained fury, his usual calm expression replaced with something darker, more intense. His eyes, usually warm and full of mischief, were now cold as they locked onto Jay, who was still writhing on the floor. Jungkookâs hand twitched as if he was ready to strike again, but he held back, his gaze shifting to you.
He took a step closer, his presence overwhelming, and your breath caught in your throat. His eyes hard and cold met yours, the anger in them abating just a bit, but his voice was soft when he spoke. âAre you okay?â
"Huh?" You asked, puzzled, and startled. For what really? In your head, you believed Jay didn't have any wrong intentions. But Did you say anything? No. You were too dumbfounded to pronounce a word.
"Blush, are you okay?" He repeated.
You nodded, though the shock was still coursing through your veins, making your limbs feel heavy. Jungkookâs eyes searched yours as if looking for any sign of distress, and when he seemed satisfied that you were unharmed, he turned his attention back to Jay, who was trying to scramble to his feet.
âStay away from her,â Jungkook warned, his voice low and menacing. Jay paled, his eyes darting between you and Jungkook, clearly terrified.
You wanted to say somethingâto calm the situation downâbut the words were stuck in your throat, tangled with the confusion and a hint of something else. Relief, perhaps? Or was it something more? Hope? But, for what?
Jungkookâs gaze hardened further as he looked at Jay and then again at you, his voice firm now. âLetâs go. You shouldnât be here.â He held out his hand, and for a moment, you hesitated, glancing at Jay, who looked utterly defeated. But in the end, you placed your hand in Jungkookâs, letting him lead you away from the chaos he had just caused.
Jungkook grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the restaurant with a force that left you stumbling to keep up. His grip was tight, almost painfully so, as he dragged you toward his car, his jaw set in a hard line. When you reached the car, he yanked the door open and practically shoved you inside, slamming the door shut with a sharp thud. You wanted to tell him that youâd driven yourself, but the words caught in your throat. Something in the way he moved, tense and angry, made you stay silent.
He climbed into the driverâs seat, his movements quick and stiff, and started the car without a word. The engine roared to life, and soon you were speeding down the dark streets, the silence between you heavy and oppressive. The air inside the car was thick with unspoken tension, and you found yourself nervously fidgeting with the hem of your dress, your heart pounding in your chest.
You could tell he was furious; the tight set of his jaw, the way his hands gripped the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping him from losing control. The cold night air seeped in through the cracked window, brushing against your bare skin and making you shiver. Despite his anger, Jungkook noticed. Without a word, he reached over and rolled up the window before flipping on the heater.
âMy hoodieâs in the back seat,â he said harshly, his voice cutting through the silence. âGrab it and fucking wear it.â
The words were gruff, his tone filled with irritation, but the gesture was astonishingly thoughtful. You turned around to reach for the hoodie, and thatâs when you noticed itâan enormous bouquet of daisies and a cake resting on the back seat. Your fingers froze mid-air as you stared at them, a mixture of confusion and curiosity swirling in your chest. Are they for me? Did he really? Your mind raced with these thoughts. You wanted to ask him about it, but when you glanced at his face, the sharp angles of his clenched jaw and the angry flicker in his eyes made you think twice.
Silently, you grabbed the hoodie and pulled it over your head, the fabric soft and warm against your skin. It was far too big, swallowing you up like a blanket, and his scent, a mix of something fresh and woodsy, surrounded you as you took a deep breath. For a brief moment, a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. He really was huge, you thought, but the smile faded quickly as you stole another glance at him, his expression still hard and unyielding.
The drive seemed to pass in a blur, the tension in the car making every second feel like an eternity. Finally, you reached your home, and before you could even reach for the door handle, Jungkook was out of the car, moving around to your side. He yanked the door open with a roughness that made you flinch and grabbed your arm, pulling you out onto the sidewalk. His grip was firm as he dragged you toward the front door, his steps quick and determined, leaving you no choice but to stumble along behind him.
Your mind was racing, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened, but before you could process it all, you were inside your house, the door closing with a sharp click behind you, and he was standing in front of you.
Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing like a drum in the tense silence that followed Jungkookâs outburst. The fear in your gut twisted tighter with every step he took toward you. You had never seen him this angry before. He was always the boy who had been your childhood friend, the one you fell for in middle school but never told. At first, it was fear of rejection, and later, the fear of losing him and your friendship kept your feelings hidden. But now, wasnât he lost to you? Didnât he belong to Lilith now?
âWhy the fucking hell were you out with that idiotic being?â His voice was like a whip, harsh and cutting through the air. The force of his words made you flinch, your shoulders tensing as if trying to shield yourself from his anger. You caught a flicker of something in his eyesâwas it regret?âbut it was fleeting, quickly masked by his furious expression.
Before you could gather your thoughts or find the words to respond, he took two swift strides toward you, and suddenly you were face-to-face. The intensity of his gaze bore into you, a storm of hurt and pain swirling in his eyes. âDo you like him?â he demanded, his voice cracking with raw emotion. âDo you love him?â He didnât wait for your answers, bombarding you with questions while his face remained inches from yours.
You tried to speak, but the words were trapped, your throat tightening. Jungkook's hands gripped your shoulders, his fingers digging in with a possessiveness that left you breathless. âDamnit, say something!â he shouted, shaking you slightly. âWhy were you out with him?â
But instead of answering, you shot back a question of your own, desperation lacing your voice. âHow did you know I was out with him, Jungkook? How did you even find me Jungkook?â
You didn't want to answer his question. Why should he care if you loved someone or not, when he had accepted Lilithâs proposal just the day before? Now he had a girlfriend. He had no right to demand answers from you.
His anger flared further, a deep scowl marring his features. âDoes it matter?â he snapped. âDoes it fucking matter?â His eyes were intense, demanding an answer, and he leaned in as if he might kiss you, his breath hot against your face. âWhy donât you answer me? Do you love him?â
The intensity of the moment, the way he was so close and yet so distant, made you tremble. âYes, it matters! It matters to me!â you shouted, your voice breaking with the force of your emotions. You pushed him away, the shove more about your need for space than real anger.
Jungkook stumbled back, his eyes widening in shock. His face twisted with hurt, and tears began to well up, glistening in the harsh light of the room. He stared at you, his expression a mix of pain and confusion, as if your rejection was a blow he wasnât prepared for. The sight of himâthis person who had always been so sure and confidentâcrumbling in front of you left a sharp pang in your chest.
As you looked at his tear-filled eyes, a deep, gnawing guilt settled in your chest. Why did you still care so much about him? You wondered. Your love for him was consuming you, and it was tearing you apart. You opened your mouth to respond, but he spoke before you could.
âI came to your house to celebrate your birthday,â he said, his voice cracking with emotion. âI wanted to surprise you. This time... I wanted to surprise you on your birthday, that's why I didn't wish you before. But. But when I got here, I saw you getting into your car; before I could stop you, you left, your car was already speeding up. I chased after you because I really wanted to make you happy. You were loo-looking sad all day. But, I lost you somewhere along the way, then sear-searched for your car for like forever. When I finally found it, it was parked outside that restaurant.â His voice rose with each word, and his eyes were wild with a mixture of frustration and hurt. âAnd the moment I walked in, I saw him trying to kiss you. You didnât even stop him!â
The anger in his voice dissolved into tears. His shoulders shook as he struggled to breathe, the weight of his emotions crashing down on him. You could see the pain etched into his face, his breaths coming in ragged gasps.
You moved towards him, your own heart breaking at the sight of him in such distress.
You moved towards him and wrapped your arms around him tightly, hoping to offer some comfort. âJungkook, what's wrong?â you murmured, your voice gentle. âwhy are you crying? Please, donât cry.â But he pushed you away, his hands shoving you forcefully. His reaction stunned you, and a wave of realization hit you. So this is how he felt when you pushed him away.
You tried again, but he pushed you off once more, his eyes filled with anguish. âYou love him, donât you? How long? Huh?â he sobbed, his voice cracking with pain.
Determined not to give up, you moved towards him again. This time, when he tried to push you, you held your ground. You guided him to the couch and gently made him sit down, his shoulders shaking with each breath. You stood beside him, your hand soothingly stroking his back. âPlease, donât cry,â you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady.
He buried his face against your waist, his arms clinging to you. âWhy do you love him and not me?â he asked, his voice muffled but full of hurt. âI thought you love me.â
For a moment, you were frozen, staring at him in disbelief, questions swirling in your head making your heart ache further. He knew. He knew you loved him, yet he chose her over you. Now, he was asking you this. How could he? How could he ask this when he was with Lilith? Did he expect you to chase him while he enjoyed his life with someone else?
With a mix of frustration and sorrow, you pushed his hands away from your waist. His crying intensified, but you no longer cared. âHow can you say that?â you yelled, your voice breaking. âYou accepted Lilithâs proposal yesterday! Youâre dating her now! And youâre telling me not to love anyone else?â
Jungkook shook his head vigorously, trying to explain. âIâ I didnât... She... I... No. Please,â he started, but you cut him off.
âYou knew. You knew I love you. You knew I was upset!â you continued, your voice rising. âstill, you left me alone with those stupid chocolates while you went off with her!â
He tried to explain himself again, but you interrupted again, your anger spilling over. âI didnât want those chocolates! I wanted you!â you shouted, your hand striking his chest. âYouâre a heartless bastard. Iâve loved you for so long, and you never cared! Was it too hard to fall for me? And, why crying now?â
Jungkookâs face twisted with frustration, he knew you love him, he always did, his mouth opening to say something, but you cut him off once more. âYou always stopped me from calling you âJungkookieâ or âKookie,â but you never minded when other girls did it!â
He was growing increasingly agitated, his face reddening with frustration. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you close. His lips crashed against yours, the urgency of the moment catching both of you by surprise.
For a brief second, you were frozen, his kiss demanding and intense. But then, you began to respond, your lips moving against his. The kiss was raw, filled with all the emotions neither of you could put into words.
He slowly pulled away, both of you breathing hard, your chests rising and falling rapidly. Your face was flushed, partly from the kiss and partly from the shyness creeping in. His eyes softened as he looked at you, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. âIâm not dating her, Blush,â he whispered, using the nickname that made you feel like home for the first time in what felt like forever.
You blinked, your heart stuttering at his words. âWhat?â
âIâm not dating her,â he repeated, his voice steady yet full of regret. âYes, she proposed, and I didnât reject her immediately, but that was only because there were so many people around. I didnât want to embarrass her in front of everyone.â His hand dropped to yours, holding it firmly. âI told her in private afterward that I love someone else. That I love you.â
Your breath hitched as he confessed, his gaze never leaving yours. âShe said she needed help with a project, and after rejecting her, I couldnât say no. So, I left with her, but I didnât want to. I just... Iâm sorry, Blush. I love you, and only you.â
You felt your heart skip a beat as his words sank in. He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. âAnd those names,â he continued, his voice low, âI never liked them. It always felt like they were calling a baby, but I didnât care enough to stop them because... well, they didnât matter to me. The only person who matters is you.â
His words wrapped around your heart, squeezing it tight. You couldnât hold back anymore. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down, crashing your lips against his. The kiss was urgent, desperate, full of everything youâd been holding back for so long. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.
After what felt like an eternity, you broke the kiss, both of you panting, foreheads pressed together. âI love you too, Jungkook,â you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion.
His arms tightened around you, his face buried in the crook of your neck. âIâve loved you for so long,â he murmured against your skin. âI was just too scared to lose you.â
You pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. âYou wonât lose me,â you promised, your hand cupping his cheek. âNot now, not ever.â
He leaned into your touch, his eyes closing as if he were savouring the moment. âThat's a good thing because... I'm planning to keep you forever and ever and ever. Iâm never letting you go,â he vowed, his voice firm, and you knew he meant every word.
Jungkookâs arms wrapped tighter around you, pulling you even closer, as if afraid you might disappear. His forehead rested gently against yours, his breath warm on your skin. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he looked into your eyes, the intensity of his earlier emotions fading into something softer, something tender.
âHappy birthday, Blush,â he whispered, his voice filled with affection.
Before you could even respond, he suddenly scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal in surprise. He laughed, the sound full of joy, as he began to twirl you around. The world spun around you, the colours of the room blurring together, but all you could focus on was him. The way his eyes sparkled with happiness, the way his grip on you was firm yet gentle, and the way his laughter filled your heart with warmth.
âJungkook!â you laughed, holding onto his shoulders, feeling like you were floating. âPut me down!â
âNever,â he teased, twirling you faster. âNot until Iâve spun you around enough to make up for all those tears.â
Your laughter mingled with his, and the room filled with the sound of your shared happiness. Finally, when he slowed to a stop, he carefully set you down, though his arms stayed wrapped around you, keeping you close. You were both a little dizzy, swaying slightly, but you didnât care. All that mattered was being in his arms, feeling his warmth, and knowing that he loved you.
Jungkookâs hands gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks as he looked at you with a smile that made your heart melt. âIâve wanted to do this for so long,â he murmured. âIâve imagined this moment a thousand times, but itâs so much better than I ever dreamed.â
You smiled back at him, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingers. âThis is the best birthday Iâve ever had,â you confessed softly.
He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss on your forehead. âI'm sorry for making you cry. I won't ever make you cry again,â he promised. âI always knew you love me I just... I was... I tried to tell you many times but everytime it felt like it's not the right time, I'm sorry my love. I promise I'll make up for all those tears I've caused you because of my stupidity. Gosh! I just love you so much, Blush.â
You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but they were happy tears. You leaned into his touch, feeling safe, loved, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was going to be okay.
Jungkookâs arms slid around your waist again, and before you could say anything, he lifted you off your feet once more, spinning you around slowly this time, his smile wide and full of love.
âHappy birthday, my love,â he whispered as he twirled you gently.
Wow, you made it to the end! Honestly, that deserves a medal or maybe some serious painkillers. If youâre still breathing and not currently plotting my demise for making you read thisâcongrats, youâre a legend. If youâre crawling towards me with murder in your eyes, donât worry, I get it. I cringed so hard writing this that I think I bruised a rib.
I know, I know. This is like a bad joke that just wonât end. Iâm cringing harder than you are. But hey, sometimes you just need to unleash your inner masochist and share the pain. I posted it because I felt like it. So, letâs bond over this collective trauma, or you can just plot my demise in peace. Either way, thanks for sticking around and surviving this with me. Hereâs to usâbrave souls navigating the wreckage of my writing. Cheers!
a/n: Let me know what you think in any way you likeâcomments, messages, carrier pigeons, whatever! I'd love to hear!
#jeon jungkoooook#jungkook#jungkook jeon#jeon jungkook#bts army#bts#bts ff#bts ffs#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fiction#jungkook fluff#jungkook romance#jungkook imagine#jungkook oneshot#jungkook angst#jungkook scenarios#jungkook college au#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook smut#kookiewithluv#space between us
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cuckolding - simon âsells his spermsâ to reader and her bf whoâs infertile. they canât afford ivf so the traditional way it is but just the tip and jerking off into her pussy. thatâs what was agreed anyway
simon ends up taking whatever he wants from her because how can we fuck if we arenât properly aroused sweetheart? letâs do a few rounds to increase the chances eh? sheâs so desperate for a baby that she complies. sheâs secretly into it even. poor readerâs bf :( watching her make out with this stranger and take his cock in her mouth too
hello beloved. im ghoapifying this. pls forgive me
smth about johnny having kinks that he doesn't want to admit to/doesn't recognize... him subconsciously looking for a way to get those needs met...... it's delicious
thinking about you and johnny deciding you want a kid but after months and months of trying with no results, you're starting to lose a bit of hope. the both of you get your fertility checked, and johnny is pretty crushed to learn that he's shooting blanks. makes your relationship a little rocky for a while tbh bc he becomes kinda obsessed with proving his own virility to himself
when you two eventually decide (through a mix of dirty talk, pillow talk, and very emotional conversations) that you want to try ivf, you realize pretty much immediately after that you don't have the thousands upon thousands of dollars necessary just lying around. it's johnny who consoles you when you realize you won't be able to afford the treatment, and it's johnny who decides that he's going to fix the problem himself
(ghost is looking for odd jobs when he spots the listing on craigslist. smth so terribly worded that he almost thinks it's a joke, at first. there's not a single comma used properly, it seems like every other word is misspelled, but the earnestness is clear through the screen. the request was posted five minutes ago, and ghost is the eighth comment - a quick glance at the other accounts shows him that he's the youngest by at least a decade)
soap and ghost message, for a while. soap is pushy as hell, asks for pictures of ghost's face and gets a few of his cock instead. says he's not sure if ghost is the right pick, since he looks nothing like johnny, but keeps messaging him anyway. simon is pushy as hell, asks everyday when they're gonna meet up, gets pissy when johnny keeps pushing it off
(soap sends pictures of you sometimes. they start out innocent enough, pictures of your face from your instagram or your side profile when you won't catch him with his phone up. johnny finds it easy to ignore the guilt he feels when ghost says send me one of what i'll be fucking and johnny does, sends a picture of you fucked out and face down that you had no idea existed. you're limp, slick and come dripping from your hole, and johnny can't help the way he gets hard when ghost's only response is one without your useless spunk inside her. she won't have to put up with it much longer)
when you finally meet ghost, you're unaware of all of this, of course. johnny had just told you he wanted you to meet a friend of his from work, and you'd been excited to go out for a night on the town with him. you'd found simon off-putting, to be honest, but he'd already said he'd be picking up the tab, so you just indulge in a few more shots than you normally would and stay cuddled close to johnny most of the night.
johnny only tells you the real reason he introduced you two when ghost says 'm steppin out for a cigarette, i'll pull the car around for you two and lumbers off, lighter already out.
ye still want a bairn, right? johnny had said, eyes bright as he wrapped his arms around you, kept you pressed close to him. simon can give one to you, to us. he's not even gonna charge us, bonnie, how great is tha'? you'd gaped at him a little, and he'd interpreted your expression as fear. hush, naw, don't worry, lass, i'll be there the whole time. promise i won't let him hurt you, yeah? we can even hold hands, alright?
the time between you sitting in a booth with your legs thrown over your boyfriend's lap and your back flat on your bed is a blur in your mind
simon is heavy over you, both of your wrists held in one of his hands as he ruts against you. you're drunk enough that you can't focus on much but the heat between your thighs and the long kiss simon has kept you locked in. he strips you easily, forcing you high up on the bed so you can rest in the pillows, forcing your legs around his hips so he can pin you
it's only when he pulls back to undo his belt and strip himself that you finally remember johnny is in the room too.
he's bent over the edge of the bed, hardly two feet away, and you can hear the sound slick sound of him fisting his cock, can feel the way the bed shakes just a bit as he fucks his own hand. you sort of whine, reaching out for him, soothed when his free hand links with yours, his own eyes a little wet like they always are when he gets so hard that his thoughts melt away
"eyes here," ghost grunts, big hand covering one half of your face as he forces your gaze away from your boyfriend and back to him. "you don't need to look at him. he's not the one gettin you knocked up, is he?"
you and johnny moan in tandem for that, and your eyes are wide as saucers when you finally look down at the battering ram between ghost's thighs, the ruddy tip of him leaking as he strokes himself.
"you're too big," you manage to gasp, squirming back.
ghost makes a sound somewhere between a scoff and a laugh, lining himself up with your drippy hole and pushing in without warning. you nearly squeal at the stretch, digging your nails into his shoulders and pushing against his thighs with the heels of your feet. your squirming doesn't stop him, and he doesn't give you even a second to adjust as he uses his weight to sink himself to the hilt inside of you
he makes you look in the eye while he fucks you. and he talks a lot - he says more while he's inside you than he did your entire evening in the bar earlier
you feel good, huh? this the first time you ever had a real man fuck you? yeah, the brat humpin' the bed isn't enough for you. bet you always felt empty when he fucked you, but he didn't even need to stretch you out before rutting here. a hand rubbing your clit, making you nearly scream from the added pleasure as he fucks you so hard that the headboards slamming against the wall. bet my seed'll take first try he grunts into your ear, and you hear johnny moan from your left. might even give you more than one, huh? have you fat and round with my babies, make him watch you grow and take care of you, if he can even manage that.
when simon finally comes, he fills you up more than johnny ever had. makes you wait to come until he does first, too, tells you that he googled it while pinching and twisting your clit until you burst beneath him, your cunt squeezing his soft cock as your eyes roll back in your head
(johnny cuddles you, after. he tries to fuck you but ghost won't let him, holds him back by the hips and squeezes his balls until he goes soft, spits i don't want your spunk fucking with mine. you gonna waste my time like that? thought you wanted me to fuck your girl pregnant? were you lying, johnny, or you just so fuckin' desperate that you'll break our deal? and johnny whines and cries but listens, holding you close and pressing his cock against your folds but never inside of you)
((ghost doesn't leave the next morning. doesn't leave the next week, actually. he fucks you every day, even when you insist that you're not ovulating anymore, that he doesn't have to keep trying to get you pregnant. the first time he eventually lets johnny fuck you again, he holds him by the hips and stuffs a few fingers inside you along johnny's cock, says she got used to me, johnny, we'll have to give her a little extra if you want her to let you fuck her again and laughs when johnny whines.))
(((he doesn't even leave when you take your first pregnancy test and get positive results. he rubs your back as johnny scoops you up off the ground, rumbles his own quiet congratulations. a few days later you try to hint that he can leave now, that you and johnny don't need him anymore. he doesn't listen, but that's okay, because you can't quite imagine what you would do if he did leave, how you and johnny would function without his rock steadiness - you're relationship had been a rollercoaster before simon, insane highs and terrible lows, all smoothed out when ghost came into the picture and started playing referee for the two of you)))
((((when you're eight months pregnant, you lounge in a rocking chair as johnny rubs your feet and simon builds a crib.))))
#this accidentally got way longer than i meant it to be#asks and answers#ghoap x reader#bo writes#not to self promo but................ i do in fact have a cuck kink fic......................#you should go read it it's my challengers fic
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my piece for the Hemisphere: a Witch Hat Atelier seasons themed zine! thank you for having me! they're having a leftovers sale until stock runs out đđđˇđâđ§ WIPs + inspiration board + symbolism under the cut! got some requests to put this on my inprnt! the site has sales very often & you can grab it as a small or big size print.
I had a pretty good idea of the composition from the get-go. I took inspiration from art nouveau (primarily Alphonse Mucha), German fairy tales, and some 1920s perfume ads. I wanted the girls to look like fairies, akin to The Root Children by Sibylle von Olfers.
Olly just didn't work out in this drawing due to time restraints. I do love him very much though.
I actually kinda stopped making illustrations like these (including the TGAA/DGS tarot card + TGAA/DGS zine pieces a while back) because they were starting to get very hard on my arm, as I had an RSI (repetitive strain injury) a few years back during school. (Not putting the onus on the zines at all ofc! I genuinely love working with zine projects! it's def a me thing WAHAHAHA. my style was getting too anime and too detailed for my liking and everything was just taking forever to finish ngl. but I didn't have time to experiment with a more simple style outside of all of my deadlines)
I think that realizing you need to stop is okay. It's something that Shirahama teaches us in her story and I want to learn to take it to heart.
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MILD SPOILERS AHEAD (for those who havent read the story I guess)
each character's symbolism:
- Coco - spring, clovers - Coco is the quintessential spring girl, and I wanted her to symbolize new beginnings, and oh boy did Coco bring a big one. The four leaf clover in particular symbolizes luck and good fortune - to some characters, Coco may have brought fortune, to others her presence brings misfortune, take that as you will.
- Tetia - summer, gladiolus - the name "gladiolus" comes from the Latin word "gladius", meaning "sword", based on the shape of the flower. you can interpret it as "you pierce my heart", perfect for a girl like Tetia, who has a contagious energy, with a romantic and grandiose nature.
- Agott - autumn, marigold - I read somewhere marigolds symbolize strength and power, perfect for our little magical powerhouse Agott. They can also symbolize jealousy (yellow flowers in particular have this association), which reflects on her rivalry with Coco in the beginning.
- Riche - winter, snowdrop - The white color of snowdrops has a strong connotation to innocence, which reflects on Riche's wish to stay a child forever. It can also symbolize rebirth and new beginnings (like Coco's clovers), as the snowdrop is the first flower to bloom in the spring, when the snow has not yet melted. I wanted the concept of "rebirth" to associate with Riche's friendship with Euini, and of his sort of "rebirth" into a new being.
- Qifrey - he does not have a flower per se, but as the caregiver and educator of the four girls, he represents the rainy season - precipitation being the one thing that binds all of these seasons together. (Note some areas of the world do not have a rainy season like where I live). I think somewhere along the line I wanted to put hydrangeas behind him, to really bring out the "rainy" theme, but the thought probably got lost somewhere in translation...
- bg flowers - honestly I just picked whatever. white lily, daffodil, hydrangea, zinnia, tulip
#witch hat atelier#tongari boushi no atelier#Î帽ĺ#coco (witch hat atelier)#agott arkrome#agathe arkrome#agott (witch hat atelier)#tetia (witch hat atelier)#riche (witch hat atelier)#richeh#qifrey#agott#tetia#riche#my art#i truly do not know how many tags show up in search anymore LEAVE ME ALONE#thank you for reading if you do - from the bottom of my heart#i am editing this post half asleep bc the full artwork refused to upload for like 2 days#and it finally worked now .#despite my struggles im very satisfied with how this one turned out#one thing that bothers me is qifrey's robe.. i wanted it to be like hes sitting on a flower#but i think the angle of the flower didnt work out LOL so it looks weird#*nitpicks my own art to hell as per usual. you know. the usual midnight thots*
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Wait what the hell is Aziraphale mouthing here. Lip-readers sound off!!
This is RIGHT before "The Metatron! I don't think he's as bad a fellow - well I think I might have misjudged him."
His line was: "I, um... [mouthing something]" THEN the above line.
This can't be nothing. Can it? "We need to get out"??? Not sure. EDIT: I agree with @maximumpenguinpuppy here, I think he's saying
"WE NEED HELP."
Further deep dive on the most painful conversation I've ever seen:
Azi makes the most INTENSE EYE CONTACT I'VE EVER SEEN during "I think I might have misjudged him."
"PLEASE HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING TO YOU RIGHT NOW."
After a few intercuts with the flashbacks we get to the really painful bit.
"He said that I could appoint you... to be an angel." His voice is so strained and high pitched even for him, here.
"Like the old times, only even NICER!"
The super nice old times where you couldn't be together at all, eh?
Crowley starts his confession and we get the "What the blazes is he doing?" face as he starts to realize Crowley is NOT picking up on any of this. Azi's breathing heavily here, revealing how very stressed the fuck out he is.
After this point is when things get really hard to interpret. Aziraphale sounds so genuine about "Come with me!" and "We can make a difference, I'll run it and you'll be my second in command." It feels like Crowley starting his very real confession broke through the charade of 'The Metatron knows something and we're in fucking danger'.
He blathers about Angels and Doing Good before breaking again, letting the "I need you!" slip. We get this HALF A SECOND look of the most profound sadness right before the "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."
"You idiot. We could have been us."
Azi looks like he can't believe just how badly this went. This is right before he looks away.
OH NO NOW I'VE SEEN CROWLEY'S FACE RIGHT WHEN HE STARTS TO GO OVER FOR THE KISS AH MY FEELS
Azi is not hiding his emotions well, right before the grab:
Then of course we get the I Forgive You, which sounds like his most bitter one yet. A flash of anger and resentment, frustration, immediately followed by remorse and grief.
Having seen all that, my best guess now is:
Metatron made the (barely) veiled De Facto Partnership threats, implying he knows about the body swap and, implicitly, threatening Crowley with Holy Water, at least to some extent.
Aziraphale tries his damnedest to communicate to Crowley that Something is Fucking Wrong and they Have to Go to Heaven to Fix It.
Crowley, having been primed by the various chats with Nina and then the 2v1 chat with Nina and Maggie RIGHT before this, clearly timed by the Metatron, fully misses all of this and takes it all at face value.
Crowley starts to give his confession and Aziraphale realizes what he's trying to say, tries to adjust his Heaven Pitch to hinge on staying together as a team to fix things."
"You cannot leave this bookshop." "Nothing lasts forever." Azi has chosen the worst way to make another attempt at saying he has no choice but to leave the bookshop. I don't think this is about the Second Coming, given his reaction to the info later.
Everything deteriorates from there as Aziraphale tries again to imply something is Fucking Wrong by going back to the "Angels! Doing good!" shtick, but it's too late. It's always too late.
"I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." He doesn't but Azi is also communicating it very badly, likely because the Metatron is indeed watching.
Crowley thinks this is all real so he gives his No Nightingales line, etc etc. Aziraphale can tell there's no fixing this, gives up.
Crowley swoops in with The Kiss as a last ditch effort to get Azi to listen. Azi WAS listening, but cannot respond other than in anger and frustration that Crowley, in his view, refuses to listen to him again, has called him an idiot again. This happens multiple times throughout the show so there's history to fuel that assumption.
This is the precise outcome the Metatron was vying for, to split them up and emotionally/psychologically weaken them, to ensure there was no chance of a united front as there was for Armageddidn't.
My heart hurts, ow.
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