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thewayshedreamed · 5 years ago

Text

This Time— Part 6

A Nessian Fan Fic

Fic Masterlist

This chapter offers some additional insight into Nesta’s thought process and sheds a little light on the ongoing process her emotional development has become. I hope it comes through!

This is somewhat of a “building” chapter so that we can get Nessian to the crest, so to speak. Part 7 is already written and only needs some editing, so it’s possible that I’ll be doing a double update today ☺️ They certainly have a lot to discuss, and once I started writing, I couldn’t stop. 😂 Anyway, enough of me. Enjoy!

Links to the previous parts:

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 ||

Warnings for grief related to the loss of a parent and some strong language.

——————————————————————————

Around 11:00 PM, Nesta decided she couldn’t be alone with her thoughts anymore. She was ruminating on similar memories and effectively raking herself over the coals. Although she knew any one of her friends would be there for her no matter the time of day, she picked up her phone to call the one she knew would most likely be awake at this hour.

“Hello?” Azriel’s raspy voice came through the phone.

“Were you asleep?! Since when do you go to bed early?” Her surprise was obvious by her tone. What the hell? He’s never in bed before midnight.

“Nes. Always a pleasure.” Azriel breathed a chuckle into the phone. “I usually wouldn’t be. I’m.. umm.. at a friend’s house tonight.”

Nesta gasped and dropped her voice. “Oh my gods. Az, were you on a date?! Am I interrupting?” She clapped her free hand over her forehead. “I’m the worst. I’m sorry.”

Another chuckle from Azriel. “You don’t have to whisper, you know. She can’t hear you. You’re not interrupting anything. I was asleep when you called, but I’m out on the couch now. What’s up?”

”If you were asleep, then that counts as interrupting! Are you sure?”

”Yes. Just, maybe the short version?” His tone was tentative, almost as if he felt guilty asking her to keep it concise at 11 PM. No one truly deserved Azriel as their friend.

“I can do that. So, here it is. I’ll save you the long, tedious trip through my brain.” She paused for half a second to take a breath. “I’m in love with Cassian.” She let out a quiet groan for effect.

”Mhmm...” The lilting of his voice implied that he was waiting for something like the punchline of a joke; the unknown part of her statement.

Her breath caught. “I kind of expected more of a reaction.”

”Did you? I thought there was more to it.” He seemed entirely neutral in that grating way of his.

”How did you know?!” She asked, incredulously.

”You told me.”

“Mm.. I don’t think so. When?” Now she was actually confused. Did she make some kind of drunken confession at Rita’s? She would remember having this revelation before now.

“At brunch. When we were driving home.”

”What are you talking about?!” Her voice was definitely higher pitched than it had been previously. She was anxious to hear his response, thinking he had surely dreamed this.

”Nesta. We were in my car, backing out of the parking lot. You asked me, ‘Why couldn’t we be the ones to fall in love?’ Or something along those lines. I thought that you were using some cryptic way of telling me because it implied two parties. Why do you think I hit the brakes so hard?” He seemed impatient, as if he was telling her the most obvious thing in the world.

“I thought maybe the question weirded you out! I didn’t even realize what I said, to be honest. How the actual fuck do you notice tiny things like that?” She didn’t wait on his response. He would know it was rhetorical. “Now my problem is this: I think he’s dating someone, so I’ve lost my chance.” She briefly told him what she had overheard the night of Elain’s birthday, her voice starting to crack toward the end.

”Hm. He hasn’t said anything to me about that, but I could see why he would wait being that you and I are close. But honestly, I don’t know that you could ever lose your chance with Cassian, Nes.”

She didn’t have anything to say to that. She simply sat there, playing with the corner of her throw blanket and hoping he would continue. He seemed to sense her discomfort and started talking again.

“I think you’ll regret it if you don’t talk to him. But, if I can offer my opinion, maybe wait a little while so that you know you’re absolutely sure this is what you want. I don’t know how he would handle it if you decided it’s not what you want.”

She felt herself prickle with defensiveness. “I wouldn’t do that to him, Az. Of course I’m sure. It only took me an eternity to figure this shit out.”

Azriel responded in a soothing tone he so often used with her. “I know. But remember, you’re not the one he talks to about you. I’m just looking out for my brother. Maybe let it marinate, yeah?”

She knew his intentions were pure, and she couldn’t really blame him for being protective. Before she could respond, she heard a feminine voice in the background ask: “Az, everything okay?”

She heard him pull the phone away from his face to answer. “Oh, yeah. All good. It’s Nesta.”

Delayed by her scattered brain and the copious amount of wine, the identity of the voice finally hit her full force.

”IS THAT ELAIN?!” She sat up straighter as if it would allow her to hear them more readily.

She heard Azriel laugh, followed by a shuffling on the other end.

“Hello? Nesta? Everything okay?” Nesta could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

“Hey, El. Everything’s fine! Sorry to crash your date. It seems we have quite a bit to talk about. Very soon.”

It took Elain a couple of seconds to respond, and Nesta could hear the smile in her voice. “Yeah. I think we do. Someone told me I should just talk to him. Turns out that they were right.” She paused, waiting for an “I told you so” from Nesta. She didn’t have the energy. “You know you can talk to me about Cassian, too, right?”

Nesta shut her eyes tightly and shook her head. “Of course. I’m sorry. I’ve been leaning on Az since our fight, and I honestly haven’t had the energy to bring it up beyond that. But I do want to talk to you. And Feyre. It’s just been...hard.”

“I can imagine. It’s hard to remember a time before you and Cass. It’s like the end of an era or something. Just know that we’re here.” Her voice was soft, laced with worry and a desire to help her older sister.

”Maybe for now,” Nesta teased, “but you may not have much time to chat these days.”

She knew she was blatantly deflecting, but El’s words had caused tears to prick her eyes yet again. It’s hard to remember a time before you and Cass. She realized how true it was, and what upset her the most was that she knew she didn’t want to know a time without Cassian.

The call wrapped up with more gentle teasing between the sisters, and eventually, embarrassing Azriel a bit over speakerphone. She told them she loved them and promised to keep them updated on how she was feeling. Her heart felt lighter once she finally ended the call, thanks to the laughter they managed to pull from her.

——————————————————————————

Christine Archeron’s death anniversary fell on a Tuesday that year, and Nesta awoke with a similar irritation as last year— death anniversaries should never fall on weekdays. She went through the familiar motions as any other morning, headed to work, and concentrated on her various tasks she was expected to juggle at any given time. As appearances went, it looked like any other ordinary day to those around her, so the extra heaviness remained hers alone to carry.

On her lunch break, she got a chance to pull her phone to check her messages and mindlessly scroll through social media. She had been focused on scrolling for so long that her phone took her by surprise when it vibrated in her hand. She tapped the notification by reflex and found herself studying the sender’s name as if it was some sort of mistake.

Cassian: Thinking about you today. I know it’s a rough one. Keep your head up. Christine would have it no other way ❤️

Nesta read the text several times in a row; just to make sure it was real. It had been so long since he’d contacted her intentionally, and it made her happy that he still thought to reach out today. It simultaneously made her a little sad; however, because it was yet another reminder of what she’d lost in him. That was an issue to deal with later.

Nesta: Of course you are, because you’re the perfect human, and I don’t deserve you. Thanks, Cass 💕 Means the world to me to hear from you. Mom really loved you, and I know she would appreciate you looking out for us.

She hesitated over the send button for several seconds before deciding to go through with it. It felt so weird to intentionally script any type of message to him being that they had spent most of their relationship entirely uncensored. Everything about it felt wrong— she couldn’t act natural with him because it wasn’t appropriate anymore, yet she didn’t feel right having to draft and redraft their communication. It was all so fucked, and she was tired of this odd limbo they stayed in.

She reflected on her conversation with Azriel and Elain on the night she had unintentionally crashed their date. She knew that they both held strong points about her situation and wouldn’t advise her to try to repair things if they knew it was a lost cause. She acknowledged that Azriel, specifically, knew more than he was at liberty to tell her. That being the case, she decided that was evidence in favor of hashing things out with Cassian. It wasn’t long before she was lost in her own thoughts, her food entirely forgotten.

I’ve spent my entire life trying to ensure I didn’t need anyone. I never wanted to depend heavily on another person in a way that I couldn’t manage on my own. But that’s not really the case anyway, right? I’ve managed fine these few weeks, but that’s the thing. I’ve managed. Why do I try to insist that’s enough for me?

But what if the door is closed? What if this was Cassian’s final push, and he’s gone? I don’t know Alis, and she could be wonderful. She probably appreciates the shit out of him and saw immediately that he’s not the average person. She probably knows how special he is. She probably beams anytime he enters a room and tries to take care of his heart in any way she can. She’s probably fucking delightful.

But does that really compete with history? I guess if that history is filled with turmoil, it could. She’ll never know the Cassian that was a freshman in high school— braces and curly hair, still a head taller than most of the other boys in class. She won’t remember how he hit his second growth spurt the summer after sophomore year, where he started to fill out and caught the attention of any girl with a pulse. She doesn’t know what it’s like when he’s truly angry with his dad and the world. She doesn’t know the full range of his eclectic music tastes or the guilty pleasures he sings depending on his mood. She didn’t do the leg work to reconcile the tough, intimidating exterior when he gets upset with the gentle soul beneath. There’s no way she knows when his humor and his laughter are distractions from his pain rather than when they’re genuine. She can’t love him like I do. Im-fucking-possible.

She was pulled abruptly out of her head, and incredible jealousy, by her alarm. It was time to go back to work and finish out the day, and she hoped it passed as quickly as possible. She silently chastised herself for piling this emotional time bomb on today of all days as she threw away her lunch and walked out of the break room.

So much for leaving this issue for later.

She resolved to put all of these thoughts back into their little box until she had the emotional energy to open the lid once again. Whenever the hell that would be.

——————————————————————————

The rest of the day zoomed by at a blissful pace, thank the gods. In fact, when Nesta glanced at the clock, she realized it was several minutes after 5:00 PM. She clocked out, grabbed her things, and climbed into her car. She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself to make the drive out to the cemetery. She wasn’t sure what time Elain had been able to go by, but Nesta had agreed to meet Feyre at 5:30 to pay their respects. It was becoming a standing tradition, where they would make their short visit whenever they could during the day and follow with dinner together as a family.

She made it with a few minutes to spare, so she took that time to sit with her mom one-on-one. She gave her a brief update on her life, told her how much she loved and missed her, and gently brushed any leaves or grass clippings off of her headstone. There were fresh flowers in her vase, something she noted each year on her death anniversary. Any other time of year, they kept seasonally appropriate faux flowers to make sure her site was properly decorated. She made a mental note to offer to contribute to the fresh arrangement in the years following when she saw her family at dinner. They were always taken care of before she made it out to the cemetery, and she didn’t want to risk forgetting for the next year. She leaned into the arrangement, taking in the various floral scents emanating from the blooms in the bouquet. There was a myriad of vivid colors, wildflowers throughout, and Nesta loved how true to her mother’s spirit they were.

She turned when she heard car doors and saw Feyre approaching with Rhysand. She stood, extending an arm out to her baby sister, who accepted it readily and rested her head on her shoulder. They wrapped their arms around each other, and Rhysand stood nearby, resting his hand on Feyre’s opposite shoulder. They stood together for several minutes until Nesta excused herself to allow Feyre some time alone with their mom as well.

She drove to her father’s house where she found Elain already setting the table for dinner. They worked together quietly, making sure they had plenty of place settings for everyone. Azriel offered his help to carry various dishes of food to the dining table and took his seat next to Elain once it was all settled. Almost as if on cue, Feyre and Rhysand walked into the house and took their seats as well. The dinner started off quiet considering the somber mood, but Feyre was the first to break the tension when she started to tell stories from their childhood. In a matter of moments, their home was filled with animated story telling and loud bouts of laughter, and Nesta couldn’t think of a better way to honor her mom’s love of life.

As everyone finished up, she suddenly remembered her mental note from earlier. She waited for a natural lull in conversation, then commented softly, “Mom’s flowers were beautiful, you guys. You did an amazing job.”

”They were really perfect. They couldn’t have been more ‘Christine’ if you tried,” Feyre remarked.

“Elain, Dad. I’m not sure which of you took care of them this year, but would you let me take care of next time? I haven’t contributed since she passed, and I’d really like to.”

Mr. Archeron softly shook his head back and forth, communicating to Nesta that it hadn’t been him. Nesta adjusted her gaze to Elain who looked just as confused.

“Oh. Nes, I assumed it was one of you. I didn’t... I didn’t order them. I wished I had.” She looked down at her hands, and Azriel placed a supportive arm across the back of her chair.

“Okay... so who did?” She glanced around the table from person to person, but no one took any credit. It was Rhys who spoke up first, clearing his throat to master his voice.

“You don’t know?”

”Obviously.” She looked to Feyre for support. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Feyre said nothing, watching Rhysand talk with rapt attention.

When he spoke again, it was cautious, as if his words may startle her. “Nesta. The flowers are from Cassian. He’s done them every year since Mrs. Christine died.”

She was suddenly short of breath. Everyone’s attention snapped to Rhys, including her father’s. Her sisters and Azriel were looking at Rhysand with stunned expressions, their eyes flicking to her face occasionally.

“What? How could you know— why would you know, when we don’t? What the fuck is going on?” She was falling over her own words, struggling to form any cohesive thought.

”I’m so sorry,” Rhysand glanced around the room for the first time, realizing he had everyone’s attention. “The only reason I knew was because he asked me to make sure they made it from the flower shop to her gravesite the year he had knee surgery. He asked me to keep it to myself then, but I figured by now he would have said something to at least one other person.” He looked down into his plate, various emotions playing over his handsome face. Feyre leaned over to comfort him, knowing he was likely embarrassed to be the reason the air had changed so dramatically.

Nesta’s head was swimming, emotions roiling from a million different directions. She knew anger was cheap and unfair, but she pulled on that tether as hard as she could to make sure she could navigate everything she was processing. She was on her feet suddenly, pushing her chair away from the table and walking toward her keys.

“I have to go.” She couldn’t be in here anymore. The room was too small, the walls were too close. Too many people. She picked up the pace, flinging the door open and shutting it hard behind her. She was down the porch steps when she heard the door open again. Azriel’s voice followed her.

”Nesta. Where are you going? Nesta, stop!” He had jogged lightly to catch up with her, and he tugged her gently by the wrist to stop her. She spun on him quickly, eyes flaring and brimming with tears.

“Anywhere but here! What the fuck was that, Az?”

He said nothing; looked down at his own feet as he shook his head.

“Cassian has some fucking nerve, you know that? Why is he insisting upon himself?” Her voice was lowered and had taken on an almost eerie quality; the calm before the proverbial storm.

“Nes, I don’t think he meant to upset you. It sounds like it’s something he’s made somewhat of a tradition. Maybe he just wanted to be sure and see it through.”

”He doesn’t get to do that anymore, Azriel. He doesn’t get to butt-dial me while he makes date plans with some girl, then turn around and send flowers to my dead mother. What am I supposed to think about that? And how would that make his girlfriend feel?” Azriel pulled her into a hug at that, resting his chin on top of her head. He didn’t answer her. There was nothing to say.

She pulled away from him, gripping her keys, and walked toward her car. “I’m out. Tell them I love them, and I’ll call tomorrow.” She nodded her chin toward the house, climbed into her car, and backed out of the driveway.

——————————————————————————

She wasn’t sure how long she’d driven before she found herself in his driveway. She knew it hadn’t been very long considering the sun was still clinging to the end of the day. She honestly didn’t remember making the conscious decision to come here, likely fueled by anger and muscle memory more than anything else. She was still so frustrated at her situation, her emotions spilling over and refusing to be put into that stupid fucking box anymore. The worst part was that, as mad as she was with him, she so badly wanted to see him. She wished the circumstances were less complicated so that she could knock, ask for a hug and some tea, and lay on his couch. They were a hell of a long way from those people now.

She loosed a breath, puffing her cheeks with air and exhaling slowly. Just before she peeled her head from the headrest to get out, his front door opened. He opened it most of the way, then leaned against the door jamb on his shoulder. He had his hands in the pockets of his sweats and one of his ankles crossed casually over the other. For a moment, she only looked at him, unable to move or offer any type of acknowledgement. She took in the charcoal henley he was wearing, unbuttoned save for the very last one. The small flap of the opening leaned to the side, revealing the base of his neck and the beginning of his tattoos. He looked so very Cassian, casual and laid-back, that she struggled to keep her emotions level at the mere sight of him. His hair was down, looking like he had just run his fingers through it with its deep part and how it fell haphazardly around his face. He was wearing his reading glasses, she noticed, the thick frames highlighting the sharp angle of his cheekbones and the wide set of his jaw. He gave her a soft smile, and cocked his head to the side and back in invitation. She could almost hear him gently telling her to “get in here”.

Too late to turn back now.

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A/N: Alrighty, hope y’all enjoyed this chapter, even with minimal Nessian. The next chapter(s) will more than make up for it, though! I’m hoping to have max Nessian to y’all ASAP. A million thanks to all of you who continue to follow this au. Your comments/ feedback have meant the world to me!

If you’d like to be tagged, feel free to comment, reblog, or send a message! I’d be happy to add you to the list. If I’ve accidentally left you off or there are issues with your tag, let me know, and I’ll look into it! Comments and constructive criticism are welcome (even encouraged)!

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@polireader // @lord-douglas-the-third // @justgiu12 // @notyournymphetish // @sjm-things // @strangeenemy // @iammissstark // @keshavomit // @sjmships // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @dusty-lightbulb // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @julemmaes // @charincharge // @superspiritfestival // @awesomelena555 // @sleeping-and-books // @hizqueen4life // @maastrash // @bookstantrash // @rhyswhitethorn // @grace-k-sterling // @sayosdreams // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @ladywitchling // @b00kworm // @courtofjurdan

#nessian #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #nesta #cassian #acotar #nessian au #nessian fwb #nessian angst #nessian fanfic #acowar #acomaf #archeron sisters #acotar fanfic #sjm #sarah j maas

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teruthecreator · 4 years ago

Note

THS IS A ROBBERY 🔫YOUR ROLESWAP LORE!!! HAND IT OVER 🤲if u want 2 :)

just took my melatonin bc i have to wake up at 4:30 AM to drive 16 hours to my mother’s so i’m sorry if this becomes derailed but uh. here’s the roleswap lore! or, at least, everything i’ve decided (along with matthew and corinne bc the three of us tagteamed on it)

gonna chuck it all under a readmore bc this is going to get long

so first off, just gonna run out in front and say i have no idea how this fits into graduation plot. i haven’t gotten that in plot consideration, given their character differences in comparison to their canonical selves. so, for the most part, it’s a lot of background establishment and character traits. but i do have a few plot bits that i’ve figured out bc i thought it was cool. why such a long preamble? i don’t know. help me

fitzroy maplecourt:

first off, he’s not called sir!!! because he doesn’t go to knight school!

my idea for his backstory is that the way he decides to grapple with his identity crisis/imposter syndrome (which he definitely Still has) is that instead of becoming a grander, larger than life version of himself. he just. goes the opposite.

not necessarily becoming a degenerate (bc he just smokes pot and that’s not bad he’s just vibing)??? but more just like. leaning into the laid-back nature of life that one might pick up from a lifetime in rural country.

he goes to a liberal arts school a ways away and just decides to bum around and take life not seriously. he develops a pretty large group of acquaintances being a hippie stoner; he doesn’t really pursue a degree either. i think if he picked up any major it was probably like. an art major or an english but he basically fails most of his classes bc he doesn’t care!

unlike his canonical counterpart, fitzroy doesn’t mind being called nicknames!! ones i think he has the most are fitz or roy, but basically you could call him anything and he’ll respond. that is because, instead of clinging to the concept of his identity bc it’s the only thing he feels he has, his identity is nebulous!! he doesn’t understand it and it scares him too much to be concrete, so he just lets people decide shit about him for him.

his personal philosophy is more about floating through life and letting people assume shit about him than having a solid personality and backstory that people understand and recognize. it is a more dissociative way of having an identity crisis! how fun! he also barely talks about his past, and what he does talk about are cherrypicked points of his past that fit his narrative of being a casual down-to-earth hippie

the moment that this all changes is when order decides to pop in and grant him powers!!!! wahoo!!!! here’s how that happens:

he’s baked out of his fucking gourd in his dorm room, in the spring semester of his junior year. he’s alone (which is rare) and he’s maybe a little sad, but he decides to just ignore it. he looks at his table and laughs. “hehe, what if this table just. blew up?” he says to himself. it isn’t that funny, but he laughs. then he lays his hand on the table.

the table blows up.

after that, he has magic!!!

i’m going to go into detail a little bit later about how fitzroy’s magic manifests in the roleswap universe, but i wanna get through the backstory first. basically, he gets really freaked out after his magic comes to him because it is So New and Wow What and What The Fuck.

he realizes that this new addition to his character Completely changes how people who know him would perceive him (as a bum stoner chill guy), and he can no longer have control of his narrative with this magic business. so he drops out!

well, he actually just transfers. to a school far, far away where people will never know who he was and he can rebuild his narrative with this magic incorporated into it. he chooses wiggenstaff’s because he figures the school would have more of a knowledge of magic than his libarts school, which would mean he could understand why the fuck weed gave him magic (sidenote: it wasn’t weed, obvs, but he thinks this so for a while he doesn’t smoke!)

he is now the chill hippie of wiggenstaff’s!!! most people like him because his personality is fairly easy to digest; some people think he shouldn’t be there, but he is! he starts out as a sidekick and he would’ve honestly been fine with that forever, but then he’s suddenly thrust into the hero track!!! wow!!!! i will also explain this with the magic.

but yeah!! that’s fitzroy, for the most part. now we’ll move onto the other boy

argonaut keene:

he actually prefers if people call him argonaut, but he’s less likely to correct people than canon fitzroy Or canon argo. he’s a tad bit shyer in this universe!

argo’s backstory pretty much follows the same idea of his canonical background, but with some key differences that shape him into the character he is in the present!

basically he still grows up on shebrie’s ship, surrounded by crewmates and the salty sea air. but his fascination with the sea doesn’t manifest into this swashbuckling lifestyle that he has in canon.

what fascinates him more is the ship itself. how it functions, how water wears down wood, how directional currents can affect navigation. basically, he becomes invested in the sciences part of sealife more than the pirateering. he has special interests in marine biology, but his heart remains in nautical engineering. figuring out ways to make the ship run better, faster, and more efficiently consumes his childhood thoughts!

shebrie encourages her son’s craving for knowledge with tomes and books from all over the world about anything related to engineering and nautical things. he’s homeschooled, basically, but he becomes rather intelligent within a few short years!

and then, well....shebrie dies. yeah we aren’t escaping that finality, sorry folks. that part of canon Still Applies.

after shebrie’s death (coughMURDERcough), argo is. traumatized! and he makes the decision to almost entirely sever himself from his life on the sea. it’s all too painful to look back upon--the times he spent studying with his mother in the captain’s quarters, rattling off dolphin facts as they sailed onward, dreaming of turning gears as the ship gently rocked him to sleep--and so he just decides to throw the whole thing out!

he can’t ignore his lifetime of education, though, so he continues to pursue it. with the remainder of money his mother left behind, he enrolls himself in a boarding school of science and technology, with plans to continue study in Only engineering. no more nautical Anything on his roster.

eventually, when he is old enough and graduates high school, he roams around...trying to figure out what to do. he doesn’t have enough money for college, so he can’t continue his scholarly efforts yet. he works around, job-to-job, city-to-city, and just notices how...delayed everything feels. like society is suffering under this slow pace towards innovation.

and that’s when he decides his next course of action. if he were to discover the root of some problem and engineer a solution, he would be famous! he would gain notoriety and praise and--and all the things his mother had as a captain. but he would have it on his own, separate from his mother, and separate from his past.

he figures out his next course of action: attend a school that will give his prestigious enough marks to be accepted onto a research team, find a problem, solve it, help the world, maybe earn a little bit of that credit and respect that would make him feel like he was doing his mother proud.

the thing i want to emphasize here is that argo’s take on helping the world comes from that morality that canon fitzroy has. canon fitzroy wanted to be a knight because he wanted to fairly and justly instill ideas of “good” and “bad” onto the world. roleswap argo has a similar moral sense, but instead of establishing rules he wants to fix the “bad” and make it “good” in a technological/scientific sense.

the only school argo can think of that can get him that kind of notoriety is wiggenstaff’s. getting onto the HOG board would mean he’d have access to countless resources and be respected by a large audience, which would give him the opportunity to make change happen. even if he’s only a sidekick On Paper, what matters is that the diploma would give him the ability to Apply to the HOG. so he drafts a carefully worded letter for a scholarship and achieves a full-ride!!! epic

like fitzroy’s magic, i’m going to break down argo’s relation to the unbroken chain after i get through backstory stuff. but trust me, I’ve Thought Of It

argo sort of blends into the background at wiggenstaff’s. or, he would, if his roommates/friends weren’t so Fucking Out There. fitzroy is enough to make him always be visible, but even the firbolg’s massive frame means eyes are always on him. which makes him nervous!! he doesn’t like the attention (as opposed to his canonical self, who revels in it for the self-esteem fuel) his insecurities manifest more in what he’s Doing rather than what he Is, mostly because his identity is barricaded by a wall of trauma repression

he’s still plenty funny and witty, just quieter. also he’s a lot Meaner than canon argo, at least to me. because if you irritate him he Will just completely shut you down with words. motherfucker doesn’t bark but he will most DEFINITELY bite

that’s their backstories, for the most part! in terms of how they interact together:

as established, they meet prior to wiggenstaff’s on a tinder date (during the grace period of argo working odd jobs and fitzroy about to be granted immense fucking power) and end up casually dating during the course of their wiggenstaff education. argo is a nervous goober and fitzroy just likes making him blush. it’s very cute.

fitzroy is still less inclined for the romantic than argo, who remains a steadfast absolute romantic internally. fitzroy still holds a lot of the self-doubt and distrust that canon fitzroy has, only it manifests in him not taking anything seriously! which means when he catches Feelings feelings he basically freaks out

argo still falls in love really quickly, only now he’s more conflicted about it because being in love means trusting and trust means communication and communication means Oops Years Of Trauma Are Being Unloaded Uh Oh!

now i’m going to touch on the big points that i find really interesting: fitzroy’s magic and argo’s relation to the unbroken chain

fitzroy’s magic:

chaos is not the being that grants him magic. it’s order!

my take on what this means for what deity is on what plane of reality is that chaos is more Needed so they are the one that is physically On Nua, while Order remains in dreamscapes because they are already a constant amongst the tangible world. yes i know this directly contradicts the reasoning for why theyre Supposed to be where in canon, leave me alone i’m having fun.

my reasoning for this switch is because chaos stands to be a contradiction to everything canon fitzroy has going on. he has a very strict, nailed-down understanding of himself and the world. everything he thinks is in black and white, bold statements, no questions, he follows rules and obeys the law. untiiiiil chaos gives him magic and shocks him out of that complacency. they lean into his inner impulses and that rage he’s kept locked deep inside. they allow for magic to Explode out of him, rather in calculated bursts or with intent.

which is why order is more fitting for roleswap fitzroy!! because fitzroy, in this world, has less of a concrete grasp of himself and the world. he purposely lets himself be nebulous and goes with the flow. thinking of the future in real terms is not something fitzroy Does, he has no plans and that’s Fine. order seeks to give fitzroy a backbone, to put it simply.

his magic doesn’t go impulsively out of him. it is calculated--it comes with thoughts and intentions. the reason it surprises fitzroy when the table blows up is because he didn’t think his thoughts or wants would amount into that, but that’s what order is trying to show him. that his intentions matter. that he matters and he has to Think and Focus and Be Here.

i’m still not sure if his power would manifest as lightning??? because the imagery for the lightning works perfectly for canon fitzroy because of the random power of lightning strikes. but for roleswap fitzroy it’s more like...thunder. like Purpose. thunder happens because of a reaction--it comes with intent. if differing air temperatures collide, it creates thunder. that combination is purpose + intent equating in magic.

i think that part needs word bc like. how would one quantify thunder?? i think fire might also work really well because the idea of a controlled fire. like things have to Happen in order for fire to start, it can’t just appear like lightning can.

order’s manipulation relies more heavily on the concept of boosting him up as a savior/hero, rather than boosting his ego and desire for power. fitzroy Has no desires in roleswap world--he’s just there. but when he gets put on the hero track, now he’s suddenly been given purpose. and order uses that to be like “wow, look at all these people who rely on you! look how important you are! don’t you want to use this magic for good?? to do good?? start a war with a demon come on pussy :-)”

OH YEAH also he becomes a hero in this universe (like in terms of tracks) because of the fact that it directly contradicts how he views himself. for canon fitzroy, it was showing him how much more he is capable of without the restrictions of morals (i.e, king fitzroy). but roleswap fitzroy doesn’t Have an image he wants to bolster! he doesn’t think he needs it and, frankly, he doesn’t care for it. the hero tracks carries with it all these stereotypes and expectations that now directly contradict his personality--thus showing him he is capable of more.

okay now for argo’s business jesus christ this post is so long and im NOT EVEN DONE WITH ALL THE POINTS I WANTED TO MENTION

argo’s relation to the unbroken chain:

so since roleswap argo has less of an association with his past (and, by extension, the memory of his mother), he is less inclined to join the mysterious cult that his mother was a part of.

moreover, he doesn’t necessarily believe the shit he’s told??? he’s way more skeptical of jackal than canon argo is--immediately questioning why and how jackal knew his mother, and constantly trying to poke holes through his narrative.

generally speaking, if you try to talk to roleswap argo about his mother or his past, he Shuts Down. like completely. and that usually results in him snapping at you or just clamming up completely. mostly he just gets really snippy and angry because Hey Shut Up Dickhead I Don’t Want To Talk About It

a part of me still isn’t sure whether or not argo would take the unbroken chain up on their offer. but i also know that, plot wise and character arc wise, it is a necessary part of argo’s story. so i think, at most, he agrees but is extremely hesitant and might even let fitzroy on immediately once he’s given the task of digging into fitzroy’s life

also, they’re boyfriends in this universe, so how could he Really keep it a secret for that long. come on jackal, you idiot, you know they’re kissing.

i think he’d Eventually warm up to jackal as a sort of father figure, but only after many nights of conversation and dancing around the subject of shebrie.

OH YEAH. this argo doesn’t know the commodore murdered his mother! important to note! he just assumes what he was told was true, that she sailed into dangerous territory and was ambushed.

during the tribunal bit If That Even Happens In This World, i think fitzroy actually is the one who figures it out Before argo. and once argo does, well............fuck!

OKAY last little bit, just gonna talk about some random extra parts of the world that i’ve thought of already:

in this universe, grey takes on higglemas’s identity instead of hieronymous’s!!! this is for good reason actually

okay so basically my thought was that, instead of whatever happened in canon yadda yadda dog time, hieronymous and grey are fighting and it’s a pretty evenly matched battle. there’s a cooldown moment where hiero thinks he’s safe but grey uses sneaky backhanded tactics to try and get the drop on him.

only higgs sees it in time and saves his brother, taking the hit himself. he collapses, extremely wounded, and hiero rushes to his aid. he’s cradling his brother’s body, trying to keep him alive, when grey approaches to deliver the final blow.

hiero is completely crushed and defeated and basically will let grey do anything to him by this point. the only thing he begs of is to let him live long enough to save his brother.

now, grey isn’t nice. let me make that clear. grey fucking SUCKS and the reason he agrees is because he wants a Real War with hiero and he can’t get that if hiero is basically like “if you let higgs die then you might as well kill me”.

so, grey agrees, and hiero ends up saving higgs by turning him into a cat. was supposed to be a temporary solution until he could find a better spell, but he wasn’t the magic guy in the duo. eventually, grey gets tired of waiting and decides to do some other shit. like turning the school the brothers have been running into a backalley place for demons!!

he takes the form of higglemas and leaves hieronymous locked in his office as basically a mascot. he’s like the queen and grey is the parliament--grey makes all the rules, but everyone assumes it’s hiero. faux-higgs is more on the ground, changing things and making the school a place more fitting for an eventual war. he builds up the concept of heroes and villains being Real, in the hopes he can sway some mortals to his side when he’s able to open a portal to hell.

hiero still tries to stop this from happening, but his pride and his self-image is wounded by what happened. he feels guilty and puts the blame entirely on him, instead of doing the whole cowardice route like higgs did in canon. he gets people to help him eventually, via mind control and all tht jazz.

also in this universe, buckminster is the one who gets birdified instead of leon!! has to do with my leon/buckminster and higgs/hiero narrative parallels that i’ve thought of for far too long.

firbolg is exactly the same in this universe. it is hard to swap three people and i didn’t want to think about him.

fitzroy doesn’t pick a grab. i think he’d rather a lizard, like a bearded dragon. he names him something stupid. like scaly. or kyle.

uhhh yeah!!! i think that’s....everything i’ve thought of so far!! lemme know if you wanna hear my takes on any other elements in the roleswap world!!!!

#taz graduation #taz sir fitzroy maplecourt #taz argo keene #roleswap maplekeene #ignorance cloud on #thanks em!!!!#sorry this is a mile long i had a lot to say #and now...i sleep!#jesus christ i have to drive 16 hrs tomorrow #help me :-)#ember360

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loviswriting · 5 years ago

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Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Bizarre Beach! Torn Between Scylla and Charybdis!

JJBA part 4 fan fic. Chapter 1: Morioh Mermaid, the perfect thesis for Jotaro?!

Summary: During his stay in Morioh, Jotaro needs to come up with a subject for his doctoral thesis in marine biology! Strange happenings in the waters of Morioh beach piques Jotaros interest, making him investigate strange sightings of a mermaid, followed by injured surfers! In hopes of finding a subject for his thesis he teams up with Kishibe Rohan and Joseph Joestar to solve the mysterious happenings! Is it the work of an actual mermaid or is there a Stand user lurking around the corner?!

Number of chapters: 9

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Total word count for all chapters: 12 749.

Chapter 1 word count: 1659

Authors note: this is my first fan fic, I tried my best and hope you will enjoy it! You may also read it on my Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937995/chapters/49778429

The summer of ’99. A hot summer in the small town of Morioh. A good place to spend the day was at Morioh beach; a flawless tourist spot with hot sand, soothing waves, laughter and ice cream for anyone in need of a cool refresher. However, it seemed that flawlessness was coming to an end lately, with reportings of bizarre accidents involving swimmers and surfers...

One of the beaches’ common visitors were Jotaro Kujo. Not primarily for the ice cream and water, but rather for reading the newspaper and secretly meeting up with agents from the Speedwagon Foundation. Jotaro had just had one of these undercover meetings with an agent sitting on the other side of the bench giving information about the serial killer Kira Yoshikage. However, the trail was currently very cold and Jotaro had not been given any useful information. But Jotaro was confident he would track down Kira with the help of his Morioh friends; Josuke, Koichi, Okuyasu and Rohan and in the worst case even his gramps Joseph. He had faced off with many strong adversaries before, although it was many years since he had defeated the strongest one of them all; Dio. But Kira was not the only adversary Jotaro currently was facing. No, there was another one, even more powerful than he had imagined: finding a subject for his doctoral thesis in marine biology! Despite being in Morioh, a wonderful seaside town, he was at a total block on what to write about, and he had only a few months left before the next semester started and he was to present the first draft of his thesis. Although being a delinquent in high school, Jotaro now was an A-grade student and aced all his tests and assignments. He had grown a lot of pride in his studies and he wanted to give it his best. He wouldn’t settle for just any subject to write about – he wanted to find the best subject to write about, something to bring out his true potential as a soon-to-be marine biologist. So he spent as much time as he could near the harbour or the beach, in hopes of finding inspiration.

Inspiration, however, would not come easily. As a way to pass time, Jotaro read through the daily newspaper to keep up with happenings in Morioh. A headline in the paper caught his eyes; “Third accident this week in Moriohs waters”. Recently, Jotaro had not had much time to spend at the beach or harbour and felt he had to catch up on recent events and started reading: “Following the two latest incidents in the waters around Morioh beach, a third has happened. Unlike the previous two swimmers, who are currently in a bad condition at the hospital and unconscious, this surfer managed to overcome what seems like an unlikely happening! Kenji O'Hara, 32, claims to have seen a mermaid in one of the waves during surfing. He went around for another pass with the waves, to try and spot the so-called mermaid again, only to slightly spot her and then crash into some sudden violent waves. Although startled, he was able to quickly get back to the beach with his surfing board, getting away with a few bruises and cuts on his legs. “Man, that was totally bizarre, but I swear I saw a mermaid in the waves, the second time it felt like she reached for me! Maybe she wanted to make me her merman!” states clearly delirious O'Hara.”

Mermaids are not a real thing, Jotaro was sure of that, but it was indeed bizarre and his gut feeling told him there might be more to this than what was on the surface. Perhaps something lurked deep down in these accidents. He decided to dig, or rather dive, a little bit further into this. Jotaro took out his cell phone and dialled a number. “Hey. This is Jotaro. I need a favour… meet me at the hospital in an hour,” Jotaro hung up and rose from the bench he sat on. There were potentially two more witnesses to this so-called mermaid and Jotaro could not wait to get more information.

For starters, his sense of justice told him something was wrong and had to be righted. And besides that, although his big doubts, if there truly is a mermaid at Morioh beach… then he had the perfect subject for his thesis.

Exactly one hour later, Jotaro stood in front of Morioh hospital, he was wearing one of his favourite outfits: a pink long-sleeved shirt under his white coat, which today was ornated with gold coloured decorations of two kissing dolphins shaping a heart and a pointy triangle with the letter J. His white hat also had gold coloured ornaments, of a single dolphin and a sun. Jotaro rarely wore those as he treasured them a lot, being gifts from his seven-year-old daughter Jolyne who made them in art class. He was, of course, also wearing white pants. What would this visit at the hospital give him? Would it shed some light on this mermaid sighting? Soon enough, he would know. Jotaro pondered this, standing in the shadow of the entrance roof, enjoying a slight breeze, for about fifteen minutes until his nephew Josuke showed up, wearing his usual dark blue school uniform. Jotaro often wondered if Josuke even owned anything else than that, he always wore it, even on weekends, and Jotaro felt it made him look like some sort of cartoon character. At least he himself modified his stylish white outfit with different coloured shirts and various ornament; that was how adult life just was, succumbing to the importance of looking good and keeping up with the latest fashion trends. “Ooii Jotaro-san!” Josuke shouted as he walked up to him waving his hand, “What's up? A lead on the Kira case?” he asked curiously with a bit of seriousity glowing in his eyes. Jotaro shook his head, “Unfortunately, this is unrelated. There have been accidents at the beach waters. I’ve decided to investigate what is causing them. Two of the victims are at the hospital, injured and unconscious” Josuke gave him another serious look, “… could this be another Stand user?” “It’s too early to make any guesses. It’s more likely dangerous wildlife. Remember, Stand users are drawn to other Stand users, which I doubt these victims are. Besides that, if they are not Stand users, then they should not be able to see a Stand, but this Kenji-guy claim to have seen a mermaid...” Jotaro shrugged off the possibility and went into the hospital doors, entering the calm and sterile white room, only a few people sitting there, some talked with a police officer, perhaps family to one of the victims of the recent happenings at the beach?

After a quick request at the reception, they got the room numbers for the injured swimmers. They went upstairs to the first room, where Josuke healed the first injured surfer with his Crazy Diamonds ability. However, the swimmer had not seen any mermaid and had suddenly blacked out in pain when swimming. Jotaro got no information at all and felt quite disappointed, the duo then went for the next room, further away in the corridor. “Seriously Jotaro-san, a mermaid? Those do not exist. This Kenji-guy must have hit his head too hard against the waves or something,” Josuke said jestingly, gesturing with his arms. Jotaro did not answer, just silently walking onward. Shortly they arrived at the next room, where an unconscious woman lied in a bed. “Let’s heal her and wake her up, Josuke”, Jotaro said as he approached the woman and nodded towards her. “Yeah. Crazy Diamond!” Josuke called out, summoning his pink and light blue stand, proceeding to heal the woman with a soft touch and then wake her up. Jotaro briefly explained that they were investigating the accidents at the beach, and asked the woman about what happened to her out at sea. “I was out swimming and making light dives into the water when suddenly I saw a beautiful woman swimming a few meters away from me under the water! She was truly stunning, aah…” the woman said, clearly mesmerized about the thought of the woman she saw. “What happened then? Did you notice anything strange?” Jotaro pursued. “Well, she was so beautiful, I almost thought she was a mermaid! I never saw anyone else besides me up at the water’s surface, I only saw her under the water… that was kind of strange, now that I think about it. Haha sorry, my mind is still a bit cloggy after just waking up!” she laughed and scratched her head. Another witness! Jotaro thought and tried to pry deeper, “Do you remember anything else?” The woman silently thought for a bit, “No, when I tried approaching her, she disappeared, and then I felt a hard hit in my back and lost consciousness…” “Okay, thank you for your time,” Jotaro said and started to make his way out. “No, thank you, kind doctors, for making me better so fast!” she replied happily and waved her hand. Josuke waved back at her on the way out and walked up to Jotaro, “Huh, mermaids?? Again? What’s this all about!” “I do not know, that’s what I’m trying to find out, but something is strange about this,” Jotaro said as they walked down the stairs to the main floor, “I’m heading back to the hotel. Thanks for the help, I owe you one. Later.” The nephews parted ways and Jotaro called a cab to get to the hotel. A mermaid? Could that really be it? But what caused the accidents to happen? Even if there was a mermaid, that did not solve the mystery behind people getting injured. There were no sharp rocks in the area around Morioh beach, so the cause had to be something else. Jotaro was determined to find out what.

CHAPTER 1, END.

Thanks for reading!

#jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #jotaro #josuke #fan fic #jjba fan fic #writing #writblr #diamond is unbreakable #jjba part 4 #jjba diu

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penultimateapogee · 7 years ago

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movie review: europa report (2013)

disclaimer: i kinda suck at explaining movies without giving a play-by-play of the entire thing, but i’ll do my best.

to avoid spoiling the movie for those who might want to see it, i’ll put my spoiler-free general review above the cut!

overall, europa report combined scientific accuracy and realism on par with the martian with just the right amount of chilling suspense to keep me on the edge of my seat. i have to admit, i was expecting a b-list sci-fi thriller that would give me nightmares as soon as i stopped laughing at the crew’s stupidity, but everything from the setup to the crew members’ courses of action ranged from reasonably plausible to downright unarguable, even if they were sometimes foolish. i give it 4 stars: not the best movie ever made, low on rewatchability, but not a waste of my time by a long shot. 8/10, would recommend.

if you’ve already seen the movie and want my in-depth review, or you’re okay with knowing basically the entire plot beforehand (why??), major spoilers are below!

europa report is a chillingly realistic look at what can happen when you send humans to a new planet before the fucking robots. that’s the entire reason we have robots meant to explore other planets: so we don’t kill six fucking people. what the fuck. the movie does, however, offer a reasonable explanation for this; the expedition is run by a private company, not an actually competent space agency.

the crew of the (unnamed? no wonder it was doomed) ship is pretty obviously multinational, just like the pilot, rosa dasque, is pretty obviously a lesbian. i don’t have their nationalities handy, but besides rosa, the crew consisted of captain william xu, chief science officer daniel luxembourg, marine biologist katya petronvna, junior engineer james corrigan, and chief engineer andrei blok. those sound like names i’d make up; your call whether that’s good or bad. each of these characters played their own important role in the grand scheme of getting them all killed, from being doused in hydrazine and thrown into deep space to following a light just under the ice like it was a goddamn will-o-wisp. fuck you, katya.

in a movie like this, death order is always important. my brother was correct when he said james would die first, though the post-landing flashback to him getting jettisoned into space months before they reached europa made the sequence of events a little confusing. honestly, it was kinda obvious he’d be the first to go: he was filming a video to send to his family in the exposition. what a sucker. everyone knows the emotionally attached ones die first. that’s why i form so few deep emotional bonds! ...shit, do i have to tag this “#personal” now?

and katya. oh, katya. fucking katya. what the hell were you thinking!? i get it, you probably had sub-par training because your stupid-ass company only planned for four years (yeah, i read the half-cut scrolling stuff in the news segment scenes), and you weren’t military or anything, but are you fucking kidding me? you’re out there alone on an unexplored moon, 100 meters (~10 minutes) from any sort of help, in a place where you just confirmed the existence of life, on ice that you know to be potentially unstable, faced with a moving source of bioluminescence, and you fucking turn your goddamn lights off and approach it!?!?! out of all the mistakes i saw in this movie, this was the biggest. put your dedication to finding “cool stuff uwu” aside for ONE FUCKING SECOND, and you might still be alive. katya gets a -100/10 on the skylar scale of “would i draft this person for a space mission”. bitch.

then there was the part after the capsule re-crashed on europa when gay pilot girl was narrating the events, which made it seem like she made it out alive. i was really rooting for her, i gotta admit. unfortunately for my gay self her, she was actually just using a makeshift “studio” on board that looked a lot like the earth-bound ones, and she died too. that was sad. but hey, at least they found some cool algae and a space squid, yeah? it was only due to the valiant sacrifice of every fucking crew member that they just barely got the comm systems back online to transmit their footage back to earth. and can i just say, that was some faaaaaaast uplink time. the data was all verified and transmitted in what looked like under 10 seconds. for a modern-setting 2013 movie, i’d almost call that too optimistic. then again, i’ve never tried to use top-of-the-line computers to relay over 1200 hours of footage from probably two or three dozen individual camera feeds, so what do i know?

i feel like i should have something here, but i cut-and-pasted my original ending paragraph to become the above-the-cut review, so i’m kinda out of things to say. in summary, be careful when working near hydrazine, don’t chase mysterious lights, and always send the robots first. also, if you ever make a movie with a pilot as attractive as rosa dasque, please don’t kill her. my gay heart is broken. this has been skylar, with a movie review that reads like the script for a youtube video.

(if you liked, disliked, or had a neutral opinion of this review, please let me know! i accept input on all my creative works, be they serious writing or just talking about movies. i might review more films in the future under the tag “#movie review”, so keep an eye out and stay tuned!)

#movie review #europa report

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anklelocker-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Extremely rough draft -had an idea and ran with it-

I can vaguely remember my early childhood. All the fuzzy stuff like high chairs and our ceiling color and the long nights are there, a big mush of stuff that everyone remembers. The only absolute moment I can remember, my earliest memory, was learning numbers. I remember them so clearly, probably because on that same day, my mother was beaten and shot as I sat in the other room. I can remember the gunshot, because it was the loudest thing I'd ever heard. I can remember my father screaming and yelling as he left my crib side. I remember the blue of my blankets, and the softness of my pillows. I was wailing as the second and third gunshot were fired, this time from my father's hands, as i would later find out and comprehend that he had broken the intruders arm and shot him in the chest two, three, four times as my mother lay on the floor, bleeding out. I can remember slam of the car door and the soft, gray room where my father and I apparently sat for fourteen hours during my mothers operation. My father tells me that I sat, awake and silent, for those hours, waiting with him for the results that came with joyful tears and breathless laughter as it was declared that although my mother's arm and shoulder were now nerve dead, she would live. Live. We had all lived. Even as that man had kicked in the flimsy apartment door and torn up our home and life. Even as the bullet entered my mother's body and went out the other side. Even as the man whirled around to late to stop the brutal efficiency with which my father, a trained marine, had snapped his arm and taken the gun that had dropped from his now limp arm. I cannot remember arriving back to our home, to the crime scene, in the early hours of the morning. I can't remember my father shushing me and changing my diaper as he repeated over and over "It's okay, it's okay bud. We're just picking up mommy's stuff." I can't even remember the police and red lights and static and yellow tape around my room. The one thing, the only thing and the only reason I still lay awake at night is for that single moment when my father lifted my basket and gave me a perfect view of the kitchen. The man's head was facing the stove, which I only saw because the black plastic bag had not been fully zipped up. This moment, right here, was when I first saw it. When I first understood numbers. About two inches above the man's head floated a very faint gray number 6. It was the same figure I had been seeing in my books, hearing about from my mother as she held up fingers and placed blocks into my hands. Little old me had no idea why this shape that Elmo had told me about was there in our kitchen, by the weird man. It wouldn't be until months later, as I walked around our new little carpeted living room that I would even think about that number again. On one warm and sweaty day, I fell down and cut open my knee on the edge of the fireplace. My father had scooped my crying form up from the ground and sat me down on the edge of the kitchen sink. Through my tears, I saw a number 7 floating above his stooped head as he bent to wash off my oozing leg. I remember pausing my cries for a moment as I swiped my snotty arm under my nose again. Why did my daddy have that number above his head too? "Daddy?" I said "Yeah?" He said as he finished dabbing the now tiny cut with a washcloth. I sniffled again before saying "Why do you have that?" as I pointed above his head at the little blue Seven not an inch from my finger. "Can I touch it?" Daddy glanced up from my knee for a moment. "What do you mean? I don't have anything, Andrew." He felt the top of his head, patting his hair. "Did you put something up there?" "No, silly! I'm saying the seven." My five year old Vocabulary restrained me. "That thingy! It's glowing!" Now my fathers eyebrows knitted in confusion as he turned to the microwave to look at his reflection. The number was obviously right there. Why didn't he see it? "Bud, there's not anything there, really." He turned back and started pushing hair out of my face and feeling my skull. "Did you hit your head? Just now?" Now a hint of worry pushed through his voice. He was being silly. I pulled back from his hands and sat up straighter as I shrugged my shoulders in stubborn anger. "No I didn't! You're just messing with me daddy. I don't like it." He stared at me for a moment before his face turned sympathetic and he reached out to feel my head again, saying "Bud..." "No! I'm real! Right there. Right there!" I said, pointing right at the number. I got so close my finger went through it, but I felt nothing. As I drew my hand away, the number simply reappeared within half a second. I didn't understand. "Jillian! Can you come here for a sec?" My father called. His voice was low and soft, even when he raised it. My mother appeared from the bathroom after a few moments. She walked a little slower as she clutched the bump in her stomach. I remember her bright pink bath robe that she always wore around the house. She pulled it around her now, coming over to me, already examining the situation with her eyes. "Ooh baby. What happened to you, huh?" My father showed her the dried and minuscule cut on my knee, no bigger then the small bandaid he still held in his hand, forgotten. "He says he sees a number..a number seven, right?" He looked over to me as I nodded "And, uh, he says it's glowing and blue." My mother now looked at my face, her's squished up in confusion. "I think he may of hit his head or something cause I don't see glowing number around here. My mother was already bobbing her head in agreement as she reached towards my hair. I shoved away from her hand. I was not happy that they did not believe me. It was so clear! Now that I looked for it, I could a little violet 3 above my moms head. I set my mouth in a frown as I said loudly "You guys don't believe me! It's real! I saw one a long time ago! When mommy got hit!" Both my parents looked at each other very quickly and turned back to me. "What did you say? What do you mean when mommy got hit?" I huffed. "Like, a long time ago! At the other place! I remember the man who hurt mommy was in black and he had a seven above his head! I saw it! I did!" "Okay, alright," my mother said quickly as she reached out and stroked my arm. " I believe you sweety. I do. We just--" My mother shook her head as my father huffed out a little laugh,"we just didn't think you even knew about that, being a baby and all. That was years ago sweety. I believe you though." She leaned towards a little more. "What exactly do you, um, remember from that..that day?" I crossed my arms and looked up to think. "Well, there was a really loud thing-noise. And then you were hurt, and daddy saved you. And then there was gray for a long time. And then you were good!" I thought for a moment and scooched up onto the counter some more. "But then. But then me and daddy came to the other place, with my old stuff. And I saw the bad man. He was laying down, and his eyes were open. But he wasn't movin. He just looked up. And I saw a number six. Gray. Just like daddy's, and yours." "That is..." my mother stopped speaking, and reads out for me with both arms. "Here sweety let's get down and go talk on the couch." "Yeah come on bud I wanna hear more about this. Come on." He said as he led me from the cold kitchen floor to the comfy brown couch we all shared on movie night. I didn't understand why this was new to them. They had been there. They must have seen the guy. Over the next twenty minutes, I recounted my memories, still crystal clear, to my parents as they stared incredulously at me. I told them that that was the first time I had seen the numbers, and that they had numbers too. As time wore on they started asking questions and became a little calmer as they were answered. Daddy got up after a minute and got the coats and the metal thingys. He helped my mother up as she let out a little puff and held her stomach some more. "Lets go talk to a special woman, okay bud? I think she'll be able to tell us about the numbers. And you." I agreed, although I was still a little confused. A few hours later, I met with this nice lady who I learned to call "Doctor Harry" over the next few weeks of lots of talking and writing and answering questions. She gave me candy. My parents were very curious about what I saw. Now that I was looking out for them, I saw numbers over almost everyone's heads. The tall people, though, they were too tall. Doctor Harry had a 4 above her head. I told her that. I told her about the bad man and mommy getting hurt and everything else I could remember. She didn't seem to ever get tired of listening to me. Over the years, we never found out why I had this ability, or curse, or whatever you wanna call it. It was just..there. Nothing else about me was different, in a good way. I played sports and ran around and learned just as fast as everyone else. It wasn't until my eleventh birthday that it all clicked into place. I absolutely loved our president, for no reason at all. He was just a cool guy to me. I didn't know politics or any fancy words for opinion or fighting, but for some reason, that guy was awesome to me. So, I had asked my parents one day if I could meet him, to which I got a chuckle and a "Maybe, bud." to. My little sister had clapped her chubby baby fingers together in agreement, although she didn't understand anything besides "mee-mee" for mom. Lo and behold, five months later, we had a ticket to go to this fancy place far away and see the president. I was so excited. I would get to shake hands with him! As my birthday approached, my excitement grew and grew until I could almost explode. As I watched him step out of his car, I glanced at the two big scary people beside him. One woman and one man, dressed in dark blue, with guns strapped across their backs. They had floating little 7's above their heads. As the president buttoned up his jacket, I saw the little faint 8 above his head. And I understood.

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