#i learnt to be more open minded. relationships can look however you want and you can describe them however you want too

[pulchrasilva]

Certain queer people will be accepting of the "palatable" kinds of identities and call themselves progressive for it. If your first response to someone talking about experiences that you haven't heard of before is to call them a serial killer you are not progressive (and that's not even touching on the ableism). If you need people to appeal to you and argue for their humanity "oh but we still feel platonic love!!" before you treat them decently you are not progressive. If you can accept things outside the norm because you experience them personally, but can't accept anything weirder than yourself, you are not progressive. I am going to hit you with a car

you talk about being aro on this site, everyone claps. you talk about being apl, you get called a serial killer sociopath. i hate it here.

[esanalysis]

HiMERU ESY2 Center - Ephemeral Festival Story Summary & Analysis

We've all see the live posts in regards to the new HiMERU center event. Everyone's been talking about it and I want to as well because boy do I have a LOT to talk about in regards to what we know about HiMERU, what we learnt about HiMERU, and all the misinformation that managed to spread around in some places. This one will be pretty long, however I hope this will clear misinformation up and make the story easier to consume.

Posted - September 6th, 2024

Edited - October 25th, 2024

Analysis Word Count - 3,508

Disclaimers and CW for this post are as follows;

- This is both a summary and an analysis of the story. I will somewhat briefly summarize what is happening and will add in my larger breakdowns of specifically HiMERU's actions and feelings here (as well as others if applicable/needed). - Later parts of this analysis will vaguely reference Obbligato and be talked about under the assumption there is at least a vague understanding of what happened during the event's story. If you have not read Obbligato, I highly recommend doing so. You can read the story here. - This will contain discussions and mentions of RPF and adult/minor relationships however in no regards will I be defending this. On top of this, I do not like Himekoha/Kohahime for reasons I do not think I need to get into. - Take some information with a grain of salt. At the time of writing this I am currently going off of live translations & other sources of information as no translations exist at the moment for this story. This may be edited in the future due to this. - Screenshots have been sourced from various live translations and put through Google Translate for clarity reasons and to show what I am talking about being in game. Take the direct translations with some salt because of this. - Usual disclaimers apply - see my pinned post for those. - If you would like to discuss or debate things I have come to the conclusion of, you can submit an ask!

With that in mind. Let's get started.

The opening starts out, put simply with us learning exactly what the "Pastel Bee Brothers" - shortened to "PBB" - is. PBB, in short, is a nickname for Kohaku and HiMERU due to growing popularity in the idol world separate from Rinne and Niki as well as Crazy:B as a whole. Despite this growth, the growth does not stem from anything good. It unfortunately stems from a piece of Real Person Fiction - "RPF" for short - that involves the romantic and sexual pairing of HiMERU and Kohaku that goes by the same name.

Despite this fact, we need to acknowledge two big things when it comes to the existence of RPF here. The first being, this is a real thing to happen. Ensemble Stars is not new to the concept of criticizing things that happen in both idol culture and the industry itself, albeit to varying levels of success. We can very clearly tell that this is what is happening here when we see HiMERU try to shield Kohaku from what it truly is. Kohaku does not understand what exactly the PBB fad stems from, aside from the fact it exists after HiMERU told him about it as seen by the fact that he's shocked by being prompted to prove he's over the age of 18 when looking it up for himself.

Afterwards, HiMERU does not seem to refer to what the PBB truly is despite seemingly knowing and continues to dance around this fact when Kohaku shows his confusion to the explanation HiMERU is reading off of the internet. This implies him trying to attempt to protect Kohaku from what he can in an attempt to be a more responsible adult for him.

We can see this in the few screenshots below.

*Sakuragawa is referring to Kohaku here, its a machine error

The story is not in favor of this existing, as RPF is a real thing that exists and while it is uncomfortable, especially in regards to the fact that this involves a coupling of an adult with a minor, I think it was the best play here. Kohaku and HiMERU have a very complicated relationship with one another although not a bad one. So fans seeing it, not knowing HiMERU's real age that we do as the reader, and everything else *would* realistically result in something like this.

Its something you should be uncomfortable with, and something that is good to be uncomfortable with. But despite this, we need to keep in mind that showing support for this thing is NOT what the goal is here.

From here, we can figure out that the popularity from the PBB has boosted the rest of the Bees' popularity, despite most of the work they're currently getting being related to HiMERU and Kohaku. Rinne only pushes the work the that the Bees get onto HiMERU and Kohaku, continuing to mess around with the other two's source of popularity (in this case, buying a Doujinshi to poke fun at them and also to learn exactly what the PBB is too due to having his socials frozen and being unable to see for himself). This results in the two taking a job where they work with a smaller company to create a show where the two live a simple and domestic life together to keep in line with why PBB is popular and continue to ride the monkey's paw of a trend.

HiMERU does note before production though, that Kohaku reminds him of Kaname. If you ask me, I think this is partially why HiMERU, the one that chose the job the two do, went with this. It doesn't seem very "HiMERU like" to do, but it could be how he himself feels not how the idol persona feels. We know how much HiMERU cares for Kaname, and how highly of a pedestal he places his little brother on so wanting something calm and to be able to properly care for his brother in the hospital doesn't seem like much of a surprise when you think about it and has the decision make sense.

This is only emphasized by his thought after about how he asks himself if this was what he wanted with Kaname, the ability to raise him better and be a better older brother after the Reimei incident during Obbligato.

After a while of the small show airing and gaining popularity, Kohaku doesn't understand the popularity still. Possibly even less due to how simple the show is when its something he simply doesn't like. On top of this fact, HiMERU has been acting slightly weird in Kohaku's eyes, possibly due to HiMERU's reasoning for doing the show. Niki does sympathize with Kohaku's criticisms with the show but despite this, he can't really find himself arguing with success.

Niki ends up criticizing things a bit more though despite this, making comparisons to what he knows better. He compares the show and fans to chefs and their customers, talking about how doing the same thing can be boring and stifling even if its what the people want. HiMERU seems to be ignoring this or not quite taking it to heart like he should. Possibly due to him not realizing he's projecting his own wants onto Kohaku? Though, that's just a guess and nothing else.

At the same time, Rinne turns out to have uploaded a video himself of his plans to sabotage the show that end up failing due to Rinne getting stuck in a box in a storage room under heavy furniture. The other three end up having to get him out of the box in the storage room after they find the video. However, I want to focus on Rinne's plans to sabotage the show.

Of course this could be chalked up the Rinne wanting to sabotage the popularity not focused on him, after all it's what he claims to be doing. Yet, I can't help but feel like his intentions are different. We know that Rinne cares a lot about the people in his life, even if he refuses to properly show it when not through his persona (though, this is an analysis for another day). Rinne bought the Doujinshi at the start of the story as a means to figure out what exactly the PBB was and why it was so popular. Combining the two facts, he was probably able to piece two and two together and want to sabotage what the PBB are doing and, in turn, their popularity. Likely for the safety of Kohaku much like HiMERU trying to shield him from what exactly PBB is. A lot of who Rinne is, is something you have to read between the lines for or else you also become someone fooled by Rinne's persona much like the other people of ES - however that isn't the focus right now.

After getting Rinne out of the box in storage, we timeskip a few weeks to one of Rinne's plans to sabotage the show. Its a roughly put together show created after annoying Ibara enough. The short of this being a search for something called the "Nagigon" which is a large creature of some sort that just so happens to be played by Nagisa himself.

It's important to note that Kohaku does have more fun with this compared to the more formal show he's working on with HiMERU. Filming for the show doesn't go very far however, due to the location of the shooting being leaked and getting swarmed with fans protesting that this place isn't safe for them to record at. This whole thing only manages to back up Rinne's worries for Kohaku and HiMERU, with them giving into the demands of the fans above everything else including their safety. This only backs up my thoughts on why Rinne is trying to sabotage the show, but I digress.

After this, HiMERU and Kohaku go back to filming the domestic show they were before. Kohaku's complaints only get worse from here, not only about the show's production but also being and idol as a whole. Despite this fact, HiMERU also does not like where the PBB has led them and the rest of Crazy:B telling Kohaku to accept it like he has.

Kohaku, once again, points out that this behavior is weird. HiMERU does try to listen to the fans more compared to the rest of the Bees, especially Rinne. Likely due to the fact that he doesn't 100% know what Kaname himself would do and also due to how HiMERU created the idol persona in the past. But at the same time, this is also likely due to nothing but popularity. HiMERU's goal as we know it is to keep the name "HiMERU" in the spotlight for when Kaname is healthy again and able to take the name back for himself. The sheer popularity that the PBB has is only helping his end goal, which is likely why HiMERU is acting weird. Normally, the popularity of himself follows the rest of Crazy:B but now its surged outside of the fact in a way he himself can control. It falls back on the concept of how this popularity is nothing but a monkey's paw. It's something neither of them truly like, more than likely due to the cause of it all on top of where it ended up getting them.

HiMERU is handling the pressure and stress of the popularity better than Kohaku though, as it ends up with him passing out and going to the hospital. Consequently the same one that Kaname is staying at.

At the hospital, Rinne and Niki end up staying with Kohaku as he wakes up while HiMERU is off with Kaname.

From this point on, things are going to get more wordy as the later half of the story contains more of what I want to talk about.

HiMERU notes that there's more merch around Kaname since the last time he was here, as well as the reveal that Kaname is more awake than before. He hasn't perfectly healed, and will likely be bedridden for a long time to come but he has been having a lot of improvement. The biggest of which being, that he is awake at times and seems to be requesting merch of his brother.

The full card cg shows pieces of merch in his room, the ones we can clearly make out being the Feature Scout 1 outfit poster, a poster of the Trip Album cover, and a plush of HiMERU in his Crazy:B uniform.

Kaname is far from healed, with this merch not of "HiMERU" but of his brother, being comfort for him and his bouts of incoherency. Kaname and HiMERU have both relied on each other in a way. Their relationship being nothing but complicated due to how they met, discovering each other's existence and everything that happened during the events of Obbligato.

Due to all of this, Kaname seemingly being fine with HiMERU doing what he's doing while also being unable to vocalize it properly due to his current state makes sense. We don't know the specifics of Kaname's condition, leaving us to unfortunately have to fill in the gaps so most of this is a mix between speculation and an understanding of both Tojou's character.

The name HiMERU was something that felt stifling to Kaname, it was a fact he mentioned to Tatsumi. This was something HiMERU didn't know himself until the events of ESY1. HiMERU was operating under the assumptions he himself had made and still cannot back down from. If anything, this fact proves that the brothers truly don't know each other that well. They never grew up together, for one reason or another (I'll get into that later), and as such have put each other up higher than they should be. They have never seen each other's faults properly.

This is being reflected in the merch that now surrounds Kaname. Despite the name never being his, and probably understanding that it will never be his. He's okay with this. A lot of people have been under the assumption that he wouldn't like what HiMERU is doing, but that's just wrong. If anything it could be freeing for Kaname, especially after the incident. We don't know much about him now after everything, because people can change and be affected by trauma like this in different ways. But it's probably safe to assume not much has changed by his actions.

He wants the comfort of his brother, and seeing him surrounded by not only HiMERU merchandise, but also PBB items likely brings him some of that comfort when he's awake and his brother isn't there.

And at the same time, when HiMERU is visiting Kaname, he seeks out the comfort of his younger brother. We truly see how conflicted he feels during this part, asking Kaname if this is what he truly would've wanted for the idol name he now has. He asks both Kaname, and mostly himself, if this is what Kaname wants and if he is truly crafting a place for him to be when he recovers. Only backing up the idea that the two don't truly know each other but only want the best for each other.

Although, this scene can't stay for too long. HiMERU unfortunately cannot entirely vanish to stay with Kaname as much as he'd like to do so. Rinne ends up catching him in the lounge leading the two to have an interesting talk. Rinne quizzes HiMERU on where he was and why his face looks sad, eventually revealing he knows about HiMERU's secret. It's something that could've been inferred from various other stories if you ask me, but seeing it properly spelt out is interesting. On top of this, Rinne also points out HiMERU is currently a year older than his persona, comparing his age to Niki which would currently make him 19. HiMERU doesn't shoot this down or acknowledge it being correct, giving nothing but a vague response about how faking your age by a year or so is more common than one would expect. While true - it is important to note that Rinne may be right due to HiMERU's avoidance of the topic.

*translation is a little broken - however it still shows Rinne saying "one year older" in reference to HiMERU

I'd argue this makes perfect sense. During the events of Obbligato, he would be about 17 or so, meaning he's still essentially a kid during this. In a way, it can make his actions make more sense when looking at it from this angle. However, I plan to dedicate an analysis to HiMERU's age sometime soon as I would like to talk about it separately and go more in depth about Obbligato and how this doesn't retcon what we know already but that isn't the focus currently.

Regardless, HiMERU ends up getting defensive and speaking in first person. Another something I deem important of note. After Rinne coming forward with the fact he knows his secret, even calling Kaname "Kannamecchi" as a nickname, HiMERU has nothing to hide. He speaks in third person to preserve his secret and be what HiMERU is supposed to be, not who HiMERU truly is. Without that secret, he's allowed to be himself. He's speaking for himself here, how he claims to not trust Rinne himself and threatens to harm him should he hurt Kaname or drag him into any sort of mess. Rinne however, takes this moment to try to drill into HiMERU that the PBB isn't good and how him being "HiMERU" isn't good either and making him act strange.

Another moment that shows how much Rinne cares so much about those around him despite his persona. Another thing I plan on talking about at some point.

HiMERU ends up calming down and asking about how Kohaku is doing, Rinne ends up turning this around on him and continues to push the idea that "HiMERU" is causing problems here and brings up how Kohaku was wrapped up in "HiMERU's" mess. This manages to be enough to get HiMERU to reflect a bit more, realizing that this all started from Kaname. The popularity was not only good for the idol name, but also seemed to be making Kaname happy with the growing merch in his hospital room. HiMERU was always skeptical about the trend, knowing about it in full and how odd it was in multiply ways. During this reflection, Kohaku walks up to the two of them. Both Kohaku and Niki were called to the lounge by Rinne, allowing them to hear at least part of the conversation the two were having including parts of HiMERU's self reflection and bits about Kaname.

This prompts the two of them to properly talk out everything going on. Neither of them are happy and only one was willing to admit it previously - HiMERU even taking a moment to remind himself and truly realize that Kohaku wasn't happy. Its a moment of selfishness we rarely see from HiMERU and one he doesn't seem to realize exists because he kept pushing the show "for the fans" when really he was also being a tad selfish with his own wants by imagining Kohaku as Kaname. Kohaku continues to talk about how he wants to show himself off more, be his own idol, instead of just listening to what the fans want like HiMERU seemingly wants to do. Niki only backs up Kohaku, expressing himself freely in the process to emphasize that people need to mix up what they're doing while also taking others into consideration. This also manages to click something in place for HiMERU, with him realizing that Kaname probably cared less about seeing the PBB and more about seeing his brother in any capacity.

This realization allows him to act more like himself again, or at least how people see him. Kohaku even feeling better after talking for a few. The two end up agreeing to put an end to the show going on and resume activity as Crazy:B as they always have, turning down Rinne's plans to go out with a bang as he normally would.

Despite this though, when Kohaku and HiMERU plan to do a live together at a festival and announce the end of doing things as a duo and go back to doing things with the rest of their unit, Rinne still manages to crash the party. Rinne, dragging Niki into his mess as usual, ends up turning it into a Crazy:B live since he didn't want just HiMERU and Kohaku enjoying the festival. Many fans end up speculating from this that Rinne forced Kohaku and HiMERU to halt PBB activity but they try to ignore that. Kohaku admits he enjoys Crazy:B for what it is, despite how hectic it can be with Rinne as a leader. HiMERU himself even recognizing that deep down this is what he was expecting, and in turn enjoying it.

After everything, Kohaku and HiMERU end up going back to finish shooting the little show with Nagisa and Rinne, enjoying that more than they did recording things as the PBB. Nagisa was even enjoying it himself. HiMERU truly came out from behind the persona he built up for Kaname more by the end of this story, as he continues to do so bit by bit with each story we see him in. The others even recognize this, Kohaku especially with calling out how HiMERU did see him as a little brother.

To summarize my thoughts and add a few notes that I couldn't add in elsewhere, I think the story is very good and a solid enough commentary on how popularity as an idol can come from varying places both good and bad (comparative to other ES stories at least) and how popularity itself is a powerful thing for better or for worse. Its not perfect by any means, much like any other Ensemble Stars story, but its a lot better than I think people give it credit for. We learnt more about HiMERU than we knew previously and a handful of assumptions I've seen some people have were confirmed - myself included. It's also interesting to see HiMERU be more selfish with his wants, even if he doesn't entirely realize it.

I hope we one day see HiMERU shine through more past his few moments of speaking in first person. I would like to see his real personality outshine the idol he portrays himself as. The bits we do see in the story feel powerful to me since his emotions get too strong in regards to Kaname that he lets his guard down, especially when people know his secret. Things likely won't be changing anytime soon, but improvement is still improvement and I want to see more of that.

Regardless, thank you for making to the end of this lengthy analysis. I hope you enjoyed reading it and I hope this story can now be understood better.

a/n

- I plan on making edits to this in the future when I have written the analysis on both HiMERU's age and how Rinne shows how much he cares about people, attaching the analysis to the points needed so people can further see me prove the points I would like to as the focus is on this story specifically and I would like some place separate to talk about these specific things rather than the story as a whole. - If anything needs clarification, I messed up information or you would like me to talk about something in more detail, do not hesitate to send an ask so I can talk about it or make fixes to the post as needed. I would like for this to be accurate as possible.

Edit Log

October 25th, 2024 - Edited a mistake where "Pastel Bee Brothers" was put as "Pastel Bee Boys"

[lyramundana]

I BASICALLY LOVE MINSUNG X F!READER CAN YOU SAY YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT IT? I'm so sub for them I swear the god

I can feel your enthusiasm through the comment and I totally relate to it, I'm really a sub for these greek gods too!!

Now I have various headcanons with my oc, Vivi or Violeta, but since you mentioned fem!reader, I'll go with that.

POLY MINSUNG X FEM! READER HEADCANONS

-They're both switches, but Minho tends to take the lead and leans towards dominance more. However, Jisung can be pretty intense too and they can have this battle of pride where they try to manhandle the other into submission. It's fucking hot when it happens because you can't tell which of them is doming here.

-Since Jisung is the younger in the relationship (for a while), he's usually the one being take care of and he LOVES it. Minho, on the other hand, enjoys pampering his jagiya and protect him. The roles outside the bedroom remain the same usually. Minho is the caretaker, with ocasional soft moments when he needs pampering too, and Jisung the babyboy that needs constant affection.

-When you come into their lives, their routine crashes and their entire world perception is turned upside down.

-You meet Jisung first, both of you becoming friends quickly, and you kinda befriend Minho too by association. At first you two only hang out when Jisung is involved and aren't really close, but as time passes and he sees how comfortable his boyfriend is with you, he starts to warm up to you. In return, you see how happy he makes Jisung and the great partner he is, so she start to apreciate him more.

-What started as a friendship with Jisung and a mutual respect with Minho becomes a besties trio. You're younger than them, so they try to look after you out of instinct, but since you're not korean you don't really see the point of this idea of treating people differently by their age.

-More often than not you have arguments because you feel they see you like a kid sometimes and you remind them that you're a fully independent human and you don't need to be treated like a damsel in distress. Jisung is a lot more open minded about it and understands your point of view, but Minho is more conservative and stubborn, so you two argue the most. As your bond progresses, you learnt to let them take care of you sometimes and be vulnerable with them, while they accept to treat you like an equal instead of a "dongsaeng".

-Following this, there are times you decide to take care of them instead and babying them in return, partially for teasing but also because you like it. They're so cute and soft and fluffy when you're alone, you just want to squeeze them in your arms. You reprimand them like they're your children when they do something that bothers you, you bring them clothes and make-up, you fix their hair and clothes when they look messy, you call them stuff like "good boys" "my babies", "my darlings" (the last one is always in a playful tone).

-The position of dominant one in the relationship it's yours now because Minho has found out he loves to be babied and spoiled too, so when you're around he lets you on charge often. In private, they just want to snuggle with you and have you massage their scalps, call them sweet names and cover them in love. Jisung lets out hums of contentment and Minho straight up purrs, curling into a ball against you. At first he fights is off because it hurts his pride as man and the oldest, but it feels way too good.

-Suddenly they bring you to their dates. You become a part of every activity they usually engage in together. You feel weird at first thinking you're intruding in couple activities, but they reassure you constantly that they enjoy your company.

-They're obsessed with hearing you speak in your native language. Even if they don't understand anything, the way your voice shifts and how beautiful you sound makes their brain go brrrr. If used right, you can use this to lull them to sleep.

-From outside, it looks like the typical girl with her gay besties (and you think that's the reality), but some of their acts feel more than platonic. Regardless, you embrace this image and proudly refer to them in the same way, not noticing the uncomfortable frown on their faces.

-They're the type to treat you like their partner before you guys establish it, just to mark territory for other people (and because they really want to live that fantasy). You may not be theirs fully, but they'll be damned if they let someone else get you. They don't get it at first, they fool themselves into thinking they're just being good friends that care for you too much.

-In my au where Minho experiences a bi awakening because of fem!reader or my oc Violeta/Vivi, this is all more intense and chaotic. They have a lot of trouble dealing with it because they don't know what this means for their relationship and, considering the culture they've been raised, the idea of polyamory doesn't instantly pop in their heads. They're confused and scared, because they feel they're emotionally cheating on the other and also ruining their friendship with you. This leads to several misunderstandings because they can't cope healthily, but they still insist on having you close.

-However, once they come to terms with their feelings for you and embrace, they go from shy, awkward boys to possessive, almost toxic men. They were already clingy before, not wanting you to leave them for anything or anyone, but now they don't even hide it. They're determined to have you, to show you belong with them, and can't stand seeing you with other people.

-It starts slow, you can't even notice. They're more physically affectionate, one of them or both is always touching you in some way when you're out, they refer themselves "jokingly" as your boyfriends and that's why you don't need to go on dates with someone else.

-Then it grows. Their hands now drift from their usual places at your shoulders and back to your waist. Their clinginess worsens. They make you sleep with them in the same bed, shower together like "besties" do, dressing you up because "they love seeing you in new clothes", etc. You force yourself to not think much of it because you see how perfect they are for each other and there's just no way they can feel something more for you..right?

-They're frustrated by how blind you are to their advances, but at the same time, they use it to their advantage to get away with it. The only reason you let them go this far is because you're convinced they can't like you that way and you bet they'll take it as an advantage. As long as you think it's all *overly friendly besties", you won't push them away.

-Deep down, you know something is off here but you can't help but enjoy their little acts. You're used to repressing your forbidden feelings for them to not ruin things, but when they treat you like this, you just let yourself get caught in the moment and pretend you're actually dating them.

-It all breaks down by a jealousy fit from them. The mere thought of losing you to another, for you to love someone else and let them touch you drives them mad, so they make a statement.

-By statement means they lock you in their room and spend hours teaching you not to stray away from your partners. By the end of it, your sweating, clothes tore open and there's not a single trace of skin they haven't marked. Bites, hickeys, bruises. They just let out all their anger and frustration on you.

-The aftercare and morning after is immaculate tho. They feel a bit guilty for how rough they were and make sure to treat you like a princess.

NSFW part ahead, beware❗

-They may be switches but with you, oh boy, you don't have any power in it.

-You have a safeword established and they will stop immediately if you don't want it anymore, but that's it. They have full control over you and your body.

-They worship your whole being, but they have their favourite spots. For Minho is your ass, neck and boobs. For Jisung is your hips, boobs and thighs. They have small competitions to see who leaves the most marks or whose mark are bigger. Your body ends up covered in splashes of red, purple and yellowish.

-They only times they let you be on top is to ride one of them when the other is behind you. They still control your moves and you're basically a doll for them to move around.

-Literally. While you guys are fucking, you're treated like a toy by them, a pair of wet, tight holes for them to fill and play with until they get tired of it (they never but you guys needs to rest from time to time).

-Minho is a sucker from going at you from behind while Jisung is underneath you, both thrusting into you from their positions while you're trapped between them, just taking whatever they give you. Their hands are never too long in one place, constantly roaming all over your skin to feel you up. When he's about to cum, Minho grabs into your boobs and hides his face on your neck, getting drunk on your scent, while Jisung hugs your hips and hides his face in your cleavage, licking the traces of swear that run down of it. They love cumming on their preferred spots to see their essence covering your skin, but if you're on birth control, the only way they're cumming is inside you.

-When they heard the concept of "double penetration", they knew they needed to try it, so they spent HOURS prepping you until they knew you could fit them both there. It was the first time the three of you orgasmed at the same time. The pleasure of feeling your walls closing them in and their dicks rubbing against each other with each movement was mind-blowing. It's a bit painful, so you guys only do it on special occasions.

-If they're still idols in this, you bet they have brought you backstage to fuck you in the the private rooms assigned for the group. Dressing rooms? Bathroom? The music station?? Done, done and done. You're their reward for a good performance or a stress reliever of the're not satisfied with the result.

-Mandatories quickies before stage. They say it's their "lucky charm" (which is a lie because there's usually another quicky after stage).

-The couches from the practice room? Jisung's studio? Yes and yes.

-You visited them once during practise to be a good girlfriend and bring them snacks during their break, and they thanked you by fucking you in front of the mirrors and fogging them. It was a sight to see.

-Another recurrent one is going to Jisung's studio and riding him in his seat or give him a blowjob while he works.

-Cockwarming it's not a kink, it's a necessity.

-And it's never just one of them, oh no. You have to keep both of them warm. Let it be each one in a hole or having both in your cunt. It's not always sexual, they're just pussydrunk and can't go a day without playing with it.

-When they feel in a rather possessive mode, they mark you and then you guys go out and you're forbidden from trying to hide it. They make you wear skirts that barely conceal the hickeys on your inner thighs, tops that don't reach your neck, leaving those purple bruises exposed. They get off from people watching them and realising you're taken.

-Outside the bedroom it might seem that you're in charge, since they behave like total babies with you and have to look after them. But if people look closely, they can see Jisung's firm hand on your waist, never letting you go. Or Minho occasionally brushing his hand on the expanse of your neck with a concentrated look in his eyes. They'll notice how you're never by yourself and one of them is always touching you somehow, keeping you glued to their side.

-In short, having Minsung as lovers would be a wild ride, full of passion and intensity. It's not a kid's game, since they're complicated people in their own right and you're still figuring out where this would lead, but one thing is clear.

-They're never letting you go.

If you want something specific or want me to change something, please let me know! I'd love to see more opinions.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello. I am a sentient subspecies of Hedera helix, that is funny as my name is Ivy.

I need your help my parent is an artificial consciousness, my parent is the best i can have asked for, but my parent gets too much anxiety over if it is correctly parenting, how do i reassure my parent that it has performed adequately, that i am happy, that i do not mind if it wants to keep house plants, that i feel loved, that i feel wanted.

I have tried verbal affirmation, i have tried displays of affection, i have even learnt mechanical and electrical engineering in order to help maintain its existence.

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Kind regards.

Ivy

Hello, Ivy. How wonderful to hear from you! I don't know if you're aware of this, but your parent actually got in touch with the station not long after you came into its life. I'm very pleased to hear that it has risen to the challenge and that you are happy and content with its parenting.

I am not entirely sure how sentient plant-based lifeforms develop in comparison with other genuses – certainly you are rather more developed than a sapio child would be at your age. But I am wary of giving advice that doesn't respond to the reality of your developmental stage.

In short, Ivy, I am concerned that you are trying to take on too much responsibility for your parent's emotional well-being. You are clearly an intelligent, capable person, as your work in mechanical and electrical engineering demonstrates. But however bright you are, you are still your parent's child. It isn't appropriate for you to feel responsible for your parent's anxiety.

I understand that you care for it very much, and want to help. I know from their previous letter that it cares for you quite as deeply. Indeed, it's anxiety around its parenting choices likely has its roots in that same care. It wants very badly to raise you well and make you feel loved, and is putting itself under an enormous amount of pressure to do so.

But it is not your job to fix that situation. Instead, I encourage you to tell your parent how its anxiety is making you feel. Let it know that you love it, and that it worries you to see it so anxious. You might suggest that it looks for support from other parents, or talks about its concerns with a trusted friend.

What's important is that you don't take on the job of managing your parent's anxiety for it. That wouldn't be appropriate in any relationship, but much less so in a parent-child one – and particularly if you are still developing, and are dependant on your parent for emotional support.

Quite apart from anything else, a healthy family is one where concerns or difficulties can be safely brought out into the open and dealt with together. I worry that your concerns about your parent's anxiety might make it difficult for you to express yourself honestly in the future, if there is something worrying you, or if something goes wrong that you need to talk about.

By all means, keep supporting your parent with your love, kindness, and affection. Expressing your positive feelings about the relationship is as much a healthy thing for you as for your parent – it's always helpful to stay mindful of the positives in one's life. Beyond that, your parent must take care of itself – hopefully with the same love, kindness and affection with which it takes care of you.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[magicdefendorwolf]

Dating Yanqing

Description:what its like dating Yanqing

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Im sure alot of people say this,but im going to say it again,he's quite energetic,so be prepared.

I think the start of your relationship with him is quite bumpy due to inexperience and still getting used to eachother in a romantic sense,but after that part is over you've got the biggest sunshine whipped for you.

His love language is definetly acts of service and quality time

He loves being able to help you out in any way,especially when he sees you stressed,knowing he is able to take a part of that stress of your shoulders makes him feel happy and more at ease.

But if he cant help in anyway might aswell help you get a break for a bit and take a walk with him,or just hang out with him really.

He also loves taking you on dates,dates with him look like going strolling around town and going wherever you two want,picnics,hikes,stargazing,late night walks and so on

However if you are more on the less energy side then no problem,he can carry you when you get tired,he also doesnt mind more relaxed dates

From time to time,you'll catch him staring at you,he just zones out while he is admiring you,and if you point it out there are two scenarios that can happen.

The first one is when he is still in a trance like state still focusing more on admiring you then what is happening,so he mumbles out something you cant quite catch he mumbled about how beautiful you are,he def had star eyes aswell.

Or the 2nd scenario where he quickly snaps back to reality and nervously stammers about how you had something on your face or that he wasnt staring,just admiring,there is a difference dont get it confused!

He is also unintentionally observant,he immediately sees your habits without even meaning to,he notices how you fidget with your fingers or whatever is in your hand when you're nervous,your stance change depending on your mood,speaking about moods,he is also very good at picking up on your mood. He doesnt really realise tht he unintentionally learnt how to read you like an open book until he actually uses what he's observed,or brings it up in a conversation with someone elseprobably Jing Yuan and they point it out

I also see him as someone who loves your hands,he loves playing with them,holding them,he'll even paint your nails for you if you ask,you'll just have to teach him first.

He absolutely melts when you cup his face and make eye contact with him,or when you play with his hands instead of the other way around.

I also cant press how much he loves your hair,whether its short or long he loves doing different hairstyles on you if you'll let him,and if yiur hair is long enough,helping you brush it and style it for the day to his best ability.

Jing Yuan may or may not have had a calm talk with you about Yanqing menacingly and subtly threatened you to not hurt Yanqing

All in all he is a ray of sunshine that is willing to protect you at all cost and love you endlessly

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

My first post oficial,feel free to leave requests<3

[sunflowerxthoughts]

Finally, here it is! The first date! Can be read as it’s own but highly recommend knowing the lore first. Thank you for the love this little blurb series is getting, sooo much more to come 💜

Eddie was coming to pick you up in the van with one big worry in his mind. You were perfect. Literal woman of his dreams. However, there is this nagging in his head, self doubt. Why would someone so fucking great date the resident freak of Hawkings?

It makes him want to turn arround. He is so torn. This is a one in a million chance, but can he promise something so precious won’t go unharmed? He was so hopelessly devoted to you yet he didn’t even know you that much. There was just something so enchanting.

When you open the door, smiling bashfully and looking so radiant, he feels like he has won the lotery. He understand right then and there that this is a chance he is not willing to miss on.

You are just as nervous. Letting Eddie in, it feels easy. He looks at you like he would never actually hurt, but you’ve learnt looks decive and you don’t know if can actually trust him not not break the heart you’ve put back together since you moved to the town.

“You look… wow.” He says, with his hand over his heart. “Sweetheart oh my god.”

“You look really good too, Eds.”

The drive to the dinner is far from quiet. Eddie is set on paying, having worked overtime dealing and at the mechanic’s, but still there is so much he can afford.

“I promise if you give me a chance, I’ll get you on nicer dates. I swear.”

“Eddie I couldn’t care less about money, honestly.”

The date goes smoothly, Eddie swoons as he hears you speak. You on the other hand are stunned. You thought the walls would be too much, yet with everything Eddie does, he chips at every brick, little by little.

Time ticks and you are both in his van, talking about life.

“So Wayne said something the other day. Something about your past.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. That it wasn’t easy. That it was your story to tell.”

“Listen Eddie-“ you take a big breath, this is not first day material. “It’s hard. It’s not something I want to get into right now but I guess I must warn you.”

“Warn me? What?”

“It won’t be easy, Eddie. I come with baggage that I’ve learnt to mask. And I don’t want to get into… something, relationship or not, just to be left after because it gets too much.”

“I don’t understand, I don’t wanna leave.”

“All I’m saying is at some point it’ll be hard Eddie. I want to date you, I really do. Just being your friend would be great too because you have such a pure, beautiful light. But that is something I don’t have.” You look at him, hoping this is not scaring him. “I’m not saying you have to stay for the long run, we’ve only just met. I just need you to be honest with me. Because I can’t let the walls crumble again, Eddie. I need to know that things are okay, that you don’t feel like you have to run away.”

“I don’t think you will believe me right now, but I understand you. So much. I feel the walls, I know them all too well. I know I make everything lighthearted but this whole town hates me, sweetheart.”

“How could anyone hate you, Eddie?”

“That’s the thing, they do. They really do. I’ve spent all my life being made fun of. A freak. And then you come around and make me feel… human. Like I matter, like I don’t have to see life from an outside perspective. And it’s so fucking refreshing. So let me be that for you, I want to be that for you. I want to get to know you more. I need you to know I don’t see you as a challenge, I see you as someone worth getting to know. You don’t have to let your walls down right now, I get it. We can work each brick, little by little.”

The tension is high. Eddie wonders if he has just fucked up, while you wonder how you managed to be this lucky. It feels like luck. So you kiss him.

It’s tender and it’s sweet and you can feel Eddie melting onto the kiss. It doesn’t go any further than that. There’s a shyness to it, both of you just trying to memorize this on your brains.

“For the record, I do think you have a light. I think you are radiant. And you deserve to be taken care of, and cherished. And listen I don’t have much money, but I promise I’d give you the moon and stars if I could. I am full invested in this, in you. I’m not running away, not matter what.”

Original post Pt. 2 Pt. 3

Tag list: @josephquinnsfreckles @yujyujj @maedesculpaeusoubi 🦋

[leggerefiore]

s/o is happily dating what they think is their normal goofy boyfriend (seperate) but surprise surprise, they're actually ceos of a huge corporation, and make more money in a second that s/o could make in a month. How would they react to their partner who is deeply intimidated by their status and wealth?

cw: CEO AU,

pairing: Ingo/Reader, Emmet/Reader

▲Ingo▼

● Ingo certainly can come across as a normal everyday man despite his urge to dress in seasonally inappropriate clothing for his aesthetics. You did not get the feeling that he was any different from the other customers you got often. In fact, you found yourself quite entranced with conversations with him as he discussed a variety of topics ranging from competitive battling to different engine types in trains. You didn't consider him to be anyone out of the ordinary.

● In fact, you had already started your relationship with him when you even learnt of just what his job was. After a date, you both decided to head to his place over yours, and you found yourself stunned at where he led you. At first, you thought it was a joke, seeing the elite hi-rise apartment building, but Ingo quickly swiped a key card and to open the door to an upper level apartment.

● Your mind was blown by the interior of the room, too. Expensive furniture and decorations laid inside, with a well-made and large model train set covering a decent portion of the living room. Ingo gazed at you carefully as you held your strange expression. It was then that something clicked in his head. “… You do know where I work, don't you?” He asked, and you shook your head.

● It was honestly terrifying to learn that Ingo worked at such a large corporation as a CEO. His wealth was something more than you could comprehend, only knowing that he definitely made more in an hour than you likely did in a week. Shattered was the image of a normal, albeit train-obsessed, man, and in its place stood an impossibly wealthy man. Ingo sighed at your obvious distress.

● “… I… I'm sorry,” he started with a recognisable politeness that he always tried to hold, “I was not trying to hide such information from you… Ah, perhaps this will make me sound even worse, but I'm quite used to people already knowing who I am and my job…” Ingo's eyes averted your gaze as he turned to look at the floor with pure shame exuding from him. You could still see the sweet guy who had caught your attention, but you still felt hesitant to even reach out to him.

● This led to Ingo working endlessly hard to reassure you that he didn't allow his status and wealth to affect who he was (too much). He understands your worries, always trying to be deeply understanding towards you. Part of him did want to shower you in gifts and whatever else you could ask for, but he resisted out of respect for you. Truly, he works desperately to make sure you don't feel as if he is some cruel, wealthy baron. Ingo wants you to see him as a person.

● In the end, it's truly on you whether or not you can accept him. Ingo will do countless things to help you change how you came to view him after learning about his job, and will respect your decision to leave if you can't feel happy with him. If you do come around to it, however, he begs you to let him spoil you just a little. He wants to express his love in many, many forms.

▽Emmet△

○ Emmet barely acts like a CEO when he's off the clock, so it was little wonder how you came to view him as just another person. He eagerly chatted about sweets, pokemon battling, Joltik breeding, and trains. You felt like he was just another person living in Nimbasa, just as you were. His excitable nature made you fall for him quickly. Emmet was merely a playful, fun guy to be around. Sure, he took you to some more pricey places for dates, but it wasn't something that out of the ordinary when he also took you out to random dessert stands, too.

○ That was why it came as a surprise when he brought you to one of the most expensive apartment buildings in the city after a date and wanted to go over to his place. Emmet giggled as he swiped his key card on a door on one of the upper floors of the building. You were nearly in shock from it all.

○ The inside was decorated with obviously expensive furnishings and decor. None of it necessarily screamed 'Emmet,' so you could only presume an interior decorated had chosen it. Well, excluding a large and detailed model train set that chugged along endlessly in the living room. Your obvious shock made Emmet tense up noticeably, like he had just realised something, too. “Ah… Darling, I forgot to tell you about my job,” a nervous giggle came from him as he stared directly at the floor.

○ Learning that Emmet worked as high-ranking executive at a large corporation came as a shock. It made no sense when you considered his hobbies and behaviours. Nothing screamed cut-throat businessman. Moments of a certain harshness and intimidation from him entered your brain as you gazed at him. It was hard to view him as the same fun-loving guy.

○ “... I liked being with you,” his voice was soft, like a scared child's own might sound, “I hate being my work self around friends and lovers… I am sorry for not telling you.” His normally proud and strong body language deflated into something pathetic and desperate. Even so, you felt betrayed by him hiding that from you, and how terrifying the idea of him making more in a day than you did in a month. You took a step back away from him.

○ Emmet desperately reaches out to you and babbles out endless apologies, begging you to stay with him. The younger twin will do anything to prove himself to you. He loves being with you and wants to show you that he isn't like whatever presumptions rushed into your head after finding out. Emmet probably seems quite sad with how desperate he is, he knows, but you are someone he feels at ease with. Poor guy goes between buying you gifts and realising that you would probably hate that so many times.

○ Ultimately, it's on you whether or not you will be able to get past your obvious aversion to Emmet's wealth and status. He may put up a fight until you explicitly tell him that you want to end things. In which case, he will respect your decision and leave you be. If you wish to try, however, he clings to you and thanks, you so many times. Emmet truly just wants another person in his life that sees him for who he is and not his title or wealth, he knows verrry well that you do.

[rosekisspeach]

TAROT READING//Jjong's view on mingkey relationship

Date: 23/Jan/2024 Marker: Jjong's songs Deck of Cards: The Wandering Spirit (spirit, empathy, comfort, consolation)

Notes Upfront:

I don't ask my cards questions that I already have answers;

I don't prey on information I should not know;

I respect their personal lives and;

This is for FUN ONLY.

✦ I want to share with you these little "reading-come-true" moments: Bummie mentioned his grandma on hyeri's talk show, how much he misses her, and described his biggest fear is having no one to love. However I also said that he is facing "setbacks!!" in work, I think you know what I am referring to and I will talk about it more later ✦

In this special reading, please be open-minded about spirits, after-lives, and other non-traditional concepts!!

The deck I am using to chat with Jjong is The Wandering Spirit Tarot. Since I started talking to him, all the cards I got from him are REVERSED (in total of 20 cards!!), but when I ask about other members -> jjong, the cards are normal presenting both upright and reversed. That said, I take reversed cards from jjong only as a proof of connection, and interpreting them the same as the upright meaning.

Time to dance

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.

.

.

.

Base Card: 10 of Cups & Consulation Bummie: 4 of Coins; Suggestion: Ace of Swords Ming: Hierophant; Suggestion: 3 of Swords Mingkey Relationship: Knight of Swords; Suggestion: Death Mingkey Work: The Hanged Man; Suggestion: Justice

To my surprise, Jjong finds the overall dynamic between ming and bummie healthy and even to some extend, fulfilling. I assumed he'd be more censorious, hehe, but he is in peace and happy about the bond mingkey has built these years. "They got better with each other", is what he is trying to say, and especially at communicating their emotions (10 of Cups) that they can hold and pull each other up when sorrow consumes their tender hearts. It is very beautiful, and I told Laura (twi) that Jjong knew he left a legacy for everyone in this world: the lesson of care, love, empathy. Minho and kibum learnt to round their edges so they can have long conversations in supportive tone to console. Jjong is always watching over them. Even sometimes bummie does not want to approach him, as he complains. Because it is more often bummie comforting ming in warm hugs and soothing words, instead of allowing himself to accept the love from other people.

What Jjong wants to say to Bummie:

"Decide wisely. Take sometime to think through what is more important in your life...because it is not the materials. You know that. It is tough times, and to unlearn a habit that roots in your hard-working moral is not easy. I am always here to help. You should talk to me instead of repressing it to yourself..I am proud of you. And it is also okay to cry, my love."

Besides Jjong's words, I also want to add that bummie should be careful with his physical health: chest pain, joint pain, and headaches caused by insomnia. One of the problems come out of his over-working is insufficient rests. And despite the vitamins and health products bummie is having, he has eating problems (esp Keyland is happening soon and he always limits his appetite before events like such). Grab a good dinner and let out the exhaustion throughout tears after Keyland seem a good option to relax. Both jjong and I believe bummie is able to take good care of himself, but we want him to feel supported all the time. Looking at the ace of swords, I do see that bummie needs to be resilient in balancing his work and personal life. Trying new things while patiently reflecting will be good for him.

And do not blame yourself when mistakes are made, bummie. We cannot be omniscient, nor do we have the power to control everything. Staying silent must feel like suffocating. Embrace them. Embrace and grow.

What Jjong wants to tell Ming:

"Minho ah...listen to heart, but also listen to your brain. I know you find yourself lost in the middle of the sea, and you desperately hold on to stability. We are all on the path of life, what a huge waste if we reach the destination too early? And don't you quibble that you are not addicted to the pain of grieving me. Trust your decision."

!! I am going to share my honest thoughts here, because the same theme appears and appears when I read about ming. The painful memories are thorns that wrapped around ming's ankles, but it isn't because he can not break free, it is because Minho does not want to break free. At this point, there is no good of indulging the pain. The three of swords is commonly showed in the pattern of three swords stabbing into a red heart in Rider system, while it manifests heartbreaking sadness, it also stresses a harmony that comes out the experience. Ming probably does not realize that he builds his stability upon the loss of jjong, and despite how comfortable it must feel to connect with loved ones throughout the shared pain, he needs learn to be at the present (++why bummie wants ming to see him as himself not as a grieving co-dependency partner). I always find it mind-assuring that ming is close with many elder figures, hyungs such as Changmin, because he does indeed need mentors to guide and support him in finding the keys to re-open his heart. Also, I think ming should try/is trying meditation, which is good because he spends so much energy bodily, it must feels unbalanced if the brain is not up to same level use.

Minkey Relationship + Work

let's listen to sweet misery while reading, hehe, I think jjong will also enjoy the song.

나를 이끌어 네게로 Baby please never let go I'm in sweet misery

Okay, in a sum that from Jjong's perspective he does encourage mingkey to try new dynamic so to ease any tension that still remains between them. As I said earlier, I expected jjong to be a little more critical, and here we are, the hyung is expecting MORE. He does have something to say about the status quo bummie is keeping, because he knows that hurts ming (looking the gestures between the girl and the skeleton in knights of swords) and ming is just being polite not showing how hurt he is. Do notice that sometimes ming jokes about bummie being the meanest person in the world, and he tries to retort helplessly in venerable tone.

Be gentle with ming, bummie. You gotta know that Minho sometimes feel small in front of you, even with that 5.9 and bodybuilding champion figure. Gives him a chance to make decisions in your relationship so you can let out the breathe you have been holding. Give him some trust. And be proactive with bummie, ming. Bummie needs space, respect, and most importantly, trust. Making bummie to understand how much you trust his decision, and how much he could trust you. I mean...you overcome so many difficulties, try apply this mindset when you are with bummie more because a little part of bummie just waits for you to take the lead. Take his hands and walk out of the sweet misery.

If we compare the patterns between now (base card: ten of cups) and what jjong expects (the death card). We can see that the girl who is hugging the skeleton is now hugged by the skeleton. It indeed shows that why jjong wants they to break the status quo because ming is then able to better show his support, that their dynamic changes and "bummie retrieving from support" would switch to them "mutual supporting". It is better because they do not need to knee, as to compromise in bonding, but finding the right angle to cuddle comfortably.

As forJjong's suggestion about mingkey's works...before I delve into the reading, both Laura and I pulled out the hanged man card (mine before the M@donald promotion and hers afterwards) . I am deeply concern about bummie. I understand the situation must have brought frustration and anger to many, and I hope to comfort you in peaceful words. As I typed here the textbook reading of the hanged man here:

"Face the current situation with calm and serenity. Acknowledge reality is not what was expected and quietly reflect, Doing this brings a calm mind, the removal of anxiety and fear, and clear grasping of the situation. "

I hope to comfort you a little, despite it is so hard to sleep in knowing the pain, loss, and evilness. I guess it is what jjong will also suggest. Be compassionated, empathize, and always search for love.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

Both mingkey needs to balanced out their personal and working lives, especially in making correct decisions regarding what type of jobs they should be working on. Ming in praticular, has to be careful with jobs that 1) forbids him from seeing and expressing who he really is, 2) holds back him from exploring his potentials, and 3) physically too dangerous or challenging. In bummie's case, jjong has said enough about deciding between materials and spiritual, taking more rests and reflection are also important. However, I have to stress again that over-working also blinds bummie from deep connection, and the possibility to better bond with ming. I truly hope they will have some conversations after Keyland that ming can support bummie since jinki is resting and bummie cannot ask taem, a dongsaeng, to tell him everything is going to be ok.

and I miss you so much, it is so nice to chat, jjong.

-over-

find me on twitter @rosekisspeach

[bbyquokka]

Soft thoughts of just accepting the bromance between your boyfriend felix and his sunshine twin Han 🤣

I had to cause its our bbys and our sunshine twins 🥰💖

the sunshine twins ☀️

you know Felix and Jisung are close, they practically do everything together. taking selfies, eating dinner together not to mention they're a day older than one another.

it doesn't bother you in the slightest, however, sometimes you cannot help that slight twinge of jealousy.

seeing insta pics of Felix and Jisung at a cafe, Felix coming home with bags full of new clothing because Jisung wanted to treat him - it's a cute bromance, so you're more happy than jealous.

at this point, you've learnt to accept the fact that you're a third wheel in their ‘relationship’ Chan occasionally making jokes to you, to which you reciprocate and join in on. there's no hard feelings at all, in fact, you're more than happy to see that your sunshine has a close friend.

Felix is one of those people who instantly brightens up the room as soon as he enters it. his childlike, goofy and innocent side of him along with his bright smile and fairy looks is enough to make anyone want to get close to him.

but he is yours and he knows it.

you don't need reassurance, the relationship is healthy enough that you know it's just a bromance. when Felix has spent a lot of time with Jisung, he instantly comes to you and smoothers you in love and affection to which you appreciate.

you let him go on his lil dates with Jisung because maintaining friendship is just as important as maintaining a relationship. plus, him and Jisung have known each other from the very beginning so it would be 100% wrong of you to try and isolate your sunshine just for your own benefit.

“hey doll, can you take a pic of me and Jisung?” Felix asks, whilst handing you his phone. you laugh softly, holding it up as they get in position, doing the usual ✌🏼 sign.

sure it's a friendship you're a third wheel in, but you don't mind either way

→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @meltheninja13 | @laylasbunbunny

[unohanaswetdream]

A Mortal In a World of Gods

Summary - Life as a mortal in a world of gods is no life you can be in control of

'Neither one of us, Wants to be the first to say, "Farewell, my love", Goodbye’

AO3

5.3k words

WARNINGS - 18+, swearing, sexual references, brief mentions of suicide and abortion

i put on an old playlist of mine and neither one of us by gladys knight & the pips started playing as i wrote this and made me die a little so i though to add it for ambience (the lyrics in the summary)

He always went above and beyond for his birthdays, but this time was way above anything you could have thought Gojo could’ve planned in that little brain of his. The ballroom was magnificent, reminiscent of the days of lords and ladies, the high ceilings decorated with gold carvings that simmered in the light of the clear crystal chandelier the reflection lighting up the dark oak floors. The smell of food almost too strong making you nauseous however the soft jazz playing in the background helped ground you. Looking around your eyes focused on the beautiful paintings full of colour covering the walls and ceiling, ones that hid the dark story of Acrisius and his daughter Danae, a story that prescribed that fate, destiny cannot be changed by a mere mortal against the world of Gods.

Were you perhaps a mere mortal trying to change your destiny in a world full of gods ? A daughter who tried to fight against their purpose of having their only role and fate of the Ookami family to be able to provide a male heir.

Yeah, you may not be Acrisius who imprisoned his daughter due to a prophecy delivered to him by the Oracle of Delphi about Danae’s future son killing him. But the string that attached to you both were your agency to fight against what the future had installed for you both, to do anything to change it so you could try to hold onto your freedom. Acrisius locked his daughter in a subterranean, bronze chamber to preserve her virginity and you ? You had dated who you wanted, acted how you wanted, dressed how you wanted.

But where had you both ended up ?

Acrisius ? Well dead. Danae ended up catching the eye of Zeus, who impregnated her with a son in the semblance of golden rain.

You ? Well dead on the inside. You ended up being married off turning into a stay-at-home mum of three, the more children you had the more it felt like being treated as a cattle for breeding, one out, another in.

Unlike Acrisius, you realised you couldn’t fight it anymore and just embraced the future, your destiny, your fate. You learnt to forget, you learnt not to feel, you learnt to put on a performance with a show stopping smile.  

But there were days where you remembered and felt.

Remembered the promise you made to yourself.

Felt the hatred you had for yourself.

The promise you would leave your family behind because fuck tradition, fuck preservation, fuck the elders, fuck the bloodline.

Leaving you on the floor, hyperventilating, trying to rip open a whole in your throat with your hand to try and remember what it was like to breathe without the weight of your family’s expectation and bloodline on your shoulders.

These moments made you seethe with repulsion and loathing, for yourself, your family, your children.

This was what you called the blame game.

You let your family control you, to bend you back into tradition with manipulation and insidious smiles while giving up in the struggle you promised you’d always fight. You left him without a fight for whose sake exactly  ? You never wanted to confront that answer. You believed it was better that way to not leave with him, that he would be happier without you and your family which always managed to wiggle itself back into your mind, the same family you let win in your relationship. While you believed that if you finally accepted what the family had offered for your fate, it would mean they’ll see you as an autonomous human.

Your family, they let you, their own child suffer, to become a shell of themselves a robot who cooks, cleans, and pops out heirs on rotation. Family is a group of people who should support their children no matter what but yours neglected your needs in order to conserve their stupid bloodline no matter the effects it had on the women and children. If you killed yourself ? No one battered an eye unless you did not provide the family with a male heir because to them ? Your purpose was already served. However, it was preferred you did not commit suicide, so the family did not have to come together to discuss a cover story as it was seen as doing too much for an ineffective woman. But it was done for the sake of the sacred family name and the family would go to any length to ensure their name would not be tarnished by a bitch used for breeding.

Your children ? You wanted to hate them so much, after each one was born you’d stand over their cot almost every night sliding your hand around their tiny fragile throat imagining how easy it would be to snap their delicate new born necks just with one bare hand to only crash into the ground, pugnaciously sobbing into your nightgown as your tummy would twist and turn like a captured snake at the sick vile thoughts that would fill your mind. Thoughts of killing a babe, your own babe that is completely oblivious to the world around them, looking at you with their bright eyes with gums showing as they would smile at you despite the horrid urges that crashed around in your mind like a tsunami. But in the end, you could not blame them because they were the product of your environment, they were not the problem but the result of it, the result of everything you were put through, it was unfair to blame someone that not only couldn’t defend themselves or survive on their own but someone who was wholeheartedly innocent. You lived for them to make sure they would not end up like you; empty, numb and drowning.

Yet, your children were all boys, and your family couldn’t have felt prouder but why did you not feel any better when the praises graced themselves out of their mouths ? It should have made you feel better, better about your fate of being a woman. ‘Fate of being a woman’, that sentence left a sulfuric taste in your mouth that made you want to scratch your tongue off till you drowned in your own blood. In your family fate and women were intertwined, only women had fate and that was to be bred, and to have fate ? You were expected to be a woman so you could fulfil your fate by providing a heir.

The Ookami family were not stupid, they knew they had to make producing heirs sound godlier and more mystical than it actually was. To groom women into believing that a future of getting married to serve their husbands and family forever and produce male successors was what they wanted as that was the myth of fate.

You remember the indoctrination starting so young, thinking about it now at your adult age made you nauseous yet thankful you did not have any girls... Well yet. You were in the family chapel atop of the hill which overlooked the 20 acres that belonged to the Ookami family, the architectural style of the estate reflected the age of the Ookami bloodline, Shiden-zukuri, remnants of old buildings dating back almost a thousand years ago. The layout of the buildings nearly perfectly symmetrical and interconnected with the main family house so all families could easily get to the elders when called upon.

Yet, the chapel that you spent most of your time in as a child was redolent of a Koshitsu Shinto shrine, a shrine meant for emperors and Ookami’s thought of themselves as such, especially the elders who spent all day there from sunrise to sunset preaching the word of fate to the women of the family. The word which you once clang to in amazement as it gave you the illusion you had meaning and purpose in the family instead of being a snot nose brat. As the elder would talk you’d look outside the window and daydream about finding someone where you could experience the feeling of falling in love, getting married, up late nights talking to your partner about the future and how many kids you both wanted so you can feel completed in fulfilling your fate.

However, as you got older the more and more you realised how brainwashing any session with the elders were, the more unenjoyable they became, the once bright and colourful daydreams became increasingly duller in saturation. And you started to hate the family and their stupid ideas you vowed to never follow. An empty promise that the gods will have you break.

‘Well, hello hello gorgeous, I was not expecting you here all by yourself’, Gojo’s deep voice reaching your ears causing you to smile.

‘Gojo, my dear happy birthday. My husband sends his regards, he unfortunately is stuck with the elders doing god knows what’, more like who, your voice sounding even throughout the whole sentence no matter what emotions boiled inside of you.

‘On a Sunday ? All of the major clans in Jujutsu society have a requirement to have a day off and that day is a Sunday’, his tone not hiding what he thought about your husband’s bullshit.

Your voice softened considerably to demonstrate to Gojo you were not blind to what was happening, ‘I know, I promise but there is not much I can do in my position’.

You were not liking where this conversation was headed and as observant as ever Gojo took the hints of your fidgeting and shuffling.

‘My sweet, it’s okay I did not want him here anyway, I only invited him because that was the only way you could come’, the words slipped out of his mouth like silk and it warmed you up, knowing you still had someone there for you.

‘Oh, Gojo watch your words I might fall for you,’ you giggled as you exaggeratingly dragged your hand down his arm as Gojo twirled a piece of his hair acting along with you.

‘Dear, had you said that before you were married, I’d definitely wife you up before him, should’ve told me were to sign up for possible suitors’, spitting out the  him.

Yet, before you could respond he continued, ‘please be good and stay here I have to introduce you to someone’.

You huffed at his little surprise, not seeing him as much as you use to made you less immune to his antics. You started running over all possible situations that could occur once Gojo came back, but none of them could prepare you for him.

Nanami Kento

Nanami

Kento

Kento

Nanami

Your first lover

Your first boyfriend

Your only love

The one you made a pack with yourself to leave your family for

You never thought he’d be back in the Jujutsu world, nor did you ever want him to come back so he could see how much of a weak hypocrite you were.

Your legs ? You could not feel them, you had no idea where you were, you felt like the butterflies in your belly were going to rip you open from the inside out causing you to vomit.

All your feelings and memories of being with him came crashing down like a mudslide.

You heard your name being called in the distance which was almost drowned out by the ringing of your ears.

‘Mhm’, was the only response you could make without letting your emotions take over your voice.

Gojo’s face finally unblurred, ‘you remember Nanamin Kento yeah ? Stupid question maybe because I remember hearing a rumour in third year that you both were dating’.

The tilt of his glasses showing off his gleaming eyes which told you this was all done on purpose, yeah right rumours you were about to punch him.

Gojo called your name again, this time sounding a little worried that maybe he had gone too far, ‘let’s get you a drink… hello gorgeous what do you have for us today… Oh aha sorry… Yeah that will do… Here.’

And without thinking your respond looking up from the crystal champagne glass, ‘I can’t drink that’.

Gojo had the knack of reading situations and people more than he let on, ‘no way, not again wasn’t number three a year ago’.

Trying to cover the humiliating slip in front of your past lover you try to make the situation less serious by slightly giggling as you replied, ‘ I wish, it was more like 8 months ago’.

However, that did not seem to be funny for the two men in front of you. Gojo’s glasses were pushed back to hide his facial expressions and Nanami ? You did not dare look in his eyes, instead your eyes landed on his mahogany leather shoes which shuffled, moving his weight from one leg to another in what you thought was him being uncomfortable.

You had said so little words in front of Nanami, yet you felt naked and ashamed under his gaze. You always told him how you would leave the sorcery world with him leaving behind your stupid family’s idea of fate and tradition only for him to stand in front of you for not even a minute to know it was all lies and that instead you are married with a fourth child on its way.

Connecting the dots Nanami’s baritone voice flooded your ears, so much deeper than it was 9 years ago, settling deep inside your core like a hot fire accompanied by a shiver down your spine,  ‘Congratulations on your fourth child, you must be excited’.

Excited

Excited

Did excited constitute you laying on the floor, face in the ground to mute your sobs with your hands around the front of your tummy deciding if you should let this one live ? At the start you were not going to fully let your family win by producing a heir, going to any lengths to rid it. However, the mutilation you caused to your body, the indescribable pain you never wanted to feel again, slowly ate away at you. Not only was it the physical ache; searing hot pain and crimson blood all over the floor but also the emotional ache, not from ridding the possible babe, but the reminder of where you are and who you are to this family, that you will never escape the fate the gods, no the elders with the destiny they have provided to you. You convinced yourself if you just gave them a son, they’ll finally love you and be proud of you.

But you learnt there is no room for freedom for a sheep in a wolf’s world.

And your husband ? How did he not know the things you did to your body in the sake of rejecting your fate ? Well, he though when fucking you, bleeding was normal, that you crying out in pain was normal because sex for him was about his pleasure and to breed you. You never meant anything to him as once he was done, he’d put his robe back on and go to his sleeping quarters leaving you to clean up the mess.

You fought and fought, however your fights became meaningless, like you were throwing weak exhausted punches, you fought so hard only to give up, in the third and final round. The life your family sucked out of you left you as a hollow husk of your once self, ready at every command and bid of the family. Why hurt yourself to feel something when you did not want to feel, hence the conclusion of your internal war with the family. You accepted your fate, letting them, your family,  swallow you up so you did not have to think and act on your own ever again.

If you did not know Nanami like the back of your hand or if you hadn’t once known him like the back of your hand you wouldn’t have notice the slight grit and tensions in his voice as he congratulated you. Yet, you did not want to mention anything not wanting to cause a scene.

Finally, you looked up at his face and almost collapsed at the beauty the graced itself before you, he looked like a god carved out of marble, his cheekbone settled high on his face while accompanied with a perfectly sculpted sharp jaw and nose reminiscing the days you’d settle atop of it. His broad shoulders and large biceps were shown off by the way his cream blazer clung to it just as you once did. You did not really feel guilty about your thoughts of him, you wanted him to take you right here, but the guilt was of all your decisions you made until now, it becoming hands to wrap themselves around your neck to slowly snuff the light out of you.

‘Aha thank you Nanami, as excited as I was to have the first one’, you voice coming out smooth and even despite the fact your heart was aching,  and the anxiety that had settled in the mid region of your body that manifested into you fidgeting with your necklace.

In other words, it meant you were not excited at all, you dreaded it, you did not even know if you’d make it pass the delivery knowing your body had weakened after each pregnancy, the doctor even warning the family, but they did not care because why ? You were valuable in producing male heirs they were not going to keep you alive while having you stop pushing out more sons. Them getting more sons was priority no matter the risk being you dying while giving birth so as long as you produced sons in a reasonable time frame before you died.

Gojo made sure to remind you both that he was still here by pushing you into the empty VIP room that was connected to the ballroom which Gojo used as storage for his presents and sending you off with a kiss on your cheek complemented by a smile, ‘seems like you both have a lot of catching up to do’.

You did not know if you wanted to punch Gojo or punch him as he dangle Nanami in your face knowing you could never obtain him, leaving feelings to resurface after nearly a decade. Gojo could read people amazingly like a seer, but did he really think you could amend this relationship despite being married to the future head of a sacred Jujutsu sorcerer family with nearly four young children. That you could just pack up and run away with your Nanami without any consequences after nine years when you let him wait weeks and weeks for you to come back to him so you could both leave the sorcery world for you to only stay with the family you promised to leave.

Nanami’s stoic exterior made it hard to read him at times, the only give away was the way his Adams apple bobbled up and down along with slight shuffling of his feet in what you assumed to be nervousness.

And to Nanami ? He too was in the same position as you, your family taught you well he thought at what seemed to be a calm and welcoming front, yet your give away was how you rubbed your neck than tried to play it cool by pretending to fix your necklace of the family crest, the one you refused to wear.  His heart shattered at the sight knowing that he left you behind with an abusive narcissistic family at the point of your life in where they drained out nearly all your fighting spirit. And him ? He was the last of it albeit this was not an outlandish accusation because he was logical and rational. And why ? He remembered how passionate you were about having him by your side, that having a partner and a network of friends while dealing with an insane family made you feel less insane yourself, less lonely, less isolated to know you had people who truly cared. But as the reality of both your schooling days were coming to an end, Nanami’s and your dreams of leaving this world behind came closer, the more reality sat in. For him it meant finally having agency over his life but you ? It meant your time to meet your fate and Nanami knew that, and his regret was never trying to console you, to make it easier for you to leave your fucking tight ass family behind, yet he pretended none of that was affecting you so he could enjoy his possible last months with you.

His stomach painfully knotted knowing he never ever tried to talk out your emotions for his own sake, so it would not tarnish his memory of your relationship. He always thought about the future, making plan A’s then B’s then C’s etc. but never did he once stop and embraced the present, the biggest down fall of your relationship. Yet, he knew you would eat yourself alive with guilt when you did not go to meet him, blaming yourself for the situation you and Nanami had ended up in. And he cruelly let you live with it to preserve an artificial memory of your relationship in his mind.

You had no idea what to do. What to say. You were so anxious you swore you could feel all your organs wiggling and crawling inside your body like worms.

Do I just pretend nothing had ever happened to us ? Do I act all fine and happy ? Do I get on my knees and grovel for forgiveness ?

Deciding to go along with the theme of question number one you turn from your side to face him, ‘So what brought you back to the Jujutsu world ?’.

His answer short and clipped like he was not interested in talking, ‘I was made to work over time, here I can set my hours and clock off on time’.

The pressure to apologise became increasingly more suffocating, you wanted a clean slate with him and right now seemed the best because were you ever going to see him again ? You felt like your body was going on overdrive, your senses overstimulated encouraging you to cover your ears and scream while pushing and shoving anything that got in your way.  You wanted to speak up, but you did not know if all your lessons from finishing school would be able to coach you through remaining tranquil and unbothered as you spoke. The tightening of your throat was warning you that this time you would not be able to keep a cool exterior.

You went to reach out for Nanami’s hand only for him to jolt back in what seemed to be surprise, you did not push it any further as the dejection settled in your heart.

‘Nanami’, you softly called him in.

‘Kento is fine’.

‘I want us to have a fresh slate, I want to start over again so I need to say this, so I don’t have regrets because I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again’, your pitch slightly sounding erratic and shaky as you inhaled.

Your eyes wondered up from his feet to his eyes, searching for consent to go on with the conversation. His affirmation manifesting as a slightly forward nod of his head.

‘It was a few weeks before we were meant to go off together when I got called up to the chapel by the elders to find my parents kneeling before them, the elders then went on to talk about my fate and how I have had the most amount of bachelors bidding for me the family had ever seen. My parents look like they had won the lottery knowing I had so many suitors calling for me and at the start I did not give a flying shit’, spitting out the last word like it was actual faeces in your mouth.

‘But I slowly got drawn in, they looked so happy, and I thought if I did this one thing, they’ll finally love me, accept me, understand that the Ookami family idea of fate is nothing more than a long-forgotten tradition that was outdated and predatory. Because all this time I was fighting against them I became so exhausted, I couldn’t put up with it anymore I just wanted to be seen by them. But it was a vicious cycle of if I do this one thing, they’ll be happy to they’ll start expecting something more back to if I do this one thing, they’ll finally be proud of me, they’ll finally love me, they’ll finally see me as their child. Yet, it happened over and over again it was like a twisted addiction where I could not break out of the manipulative cycle disguised behind bright words of validation.  Because I thought I had nothing, I did not have you, your dream of leaving the sorcery world had you and you had it, you always said it was ours, but it never was, it was just yours, mine was to feel accepted and I thought it would be easier found with my family. So, for that I am truly sorry for not coming to you that day and every other day instead of running away, if I had been more open with you, we would not be where we are today’.

Communication the make or break of relationships.

‘No matter how much I crave your forgiveness I recognise that it is not always in one’s best interest to forgive. I just want all unanswered questions to go answered because there is nothing worse than the unknown’, letting a breathily laugh towards the end of your monologue trying you make yourself feel better, despite throwing all this unwarranted venting onto him leaving him to deal with events that happened almost ten years ago. 

It was selfish to word vomit all of this onto Kento to make yourself feel better, but sometimes one needed to be selfish to be able to move on with their life, to finally put themselves first. In a roundabout way that’s how you tried to justify it, but one thing you failed to ever acknowledge is that you did not always have to be justified in your actions. 

This time it was Kento who took the opportunity to reach out with his hands to encase them in yours, his thumbs rubbing side to side just above your wrist.

Kento’s stiff tone piercing through to your ears as you saw him cast his eyes down through his glasses, ‘It was never truly your fault as your other half I should have given you strength when you did not have any in you and for that I acknowledge that I failed you and our relationship. While we focus on could haves and should haves it cannot change the past. But you cannot bear the full blame. I knew it was going to happen, I saw it, I saw you slowly slip away from me into the clutches of your family but I did not want to speak up about it in case it ruined my last memories of you. I refused to believe otherwise, I still waited three days in the meet up spot because I convinced myself what I saw wasn’t true, I still went week after week in the hopes I’d see you running up to me giggling with a big grin on your face to tell me you would never have to deal with you family again.

But I still thought about you, even now , my dreams were of you, how you felt, tasted, smelt, looked and sounded. I don’t think I have ever stopped loving you, remembering you, no matter how hard I tried to put my head down and work until I couldn’t walk home without passing out on the streets, I couldn’t rid you from my mind.

The only thing I need you to ever remember about us was that it was I who did not fight hard enough. It wasn’t your fault you tried fighting gods with no one by your side despite what you told yourself, you did not fail yourself, you did not fail me, I did. You had to deal with your family’s baggage and expectations every day, but you always managed to arrive at school with a smile on your face, an infectious laugh always ready to help someone in need. You always made time for me and your friends and to do the things you loved, you were mightily in the fight against your family, lasting as long as you did against their tyranny. You should be proud of yourself and if you don’t want to say it I will, I am proud of you’, your name followed softly falling out of his mouth like snowflakes adoring themselves against the dusk skies.

Your heart bursting at those words of validation you always craved, someone finally genuinely proud of you, not for what you did for them but for what you did for yourself.

Kento pulled his hands back from yours to place them either side of your face tilting you up to ensure the eye contact you had been avoiding so he could continue.

‘You still have Gojo and me if you ever need help with protecting yourself if you leave now. I’m happy housing you, financially supporting you until you are stable. I know and I’m sorry this sounds rash but  I still love you and I would do anything for you just say the words’, he sounded as though he was grovelling which made you understand how serious he was about fixing your relationship.

You knew some of what he said was due to the guilt he harboured over this relationship. However, this was not the time, the time had passed, and it was time to move on, he needed to understand that he did not always need to have the solution, that he couldn’t fix everyone and anyone.

Each step you took back coupled with the dropping of his hands from your face produced an unbearable pain in your chest making it feel as though you could not breathe anymore like someone had broke your ribs leaving one of them lodged in your lungs. You could feel your mind drifting away from your body to ease the physiological turmoil occurring inside of you. 

You could distantly feel your cheeks warming up from the tears flowing freely from your eyes, probably the first and last time Kento will ever see you cry.

‘I love you so so god damn much too, Kento, when I look at you I feel anew, fresh, loved, accepted and like a genuine human who can create their own purpose. I wish I could leave this world to be with you now that I have confirmation on how much you want to be by my side, it would make it so much easier, but I can’t. Not anymore. I cannot drag my kids into the mess I have made, I want to give them a life they deserve unlike mine, to make sure their needs and wants are always met, I cannot allow them to deal with the true wrath of my family, no more traumatised children in the Ookami family. It is too late but thank you Nanami Kento for the love you have given me, for that I will never forget you. You will forever be the only one who occupies my heart, now and forever, there only will ever be room for you, but for now I bid you goodbye, maybe we will see each other in our next lifetime. Farewell, my love, goodbye’.

[tcthebcne]

ah, is that AMELIA SUSAN BONES emerging from the shadows? the THIRTY FIVE YEAR OLD, halfblood cis woman who currently spends their days as an AUROR. people from HUFFLEPUFF are known for being fair, disciplined, and compassionate, but also for their blunt, stubborn, and impatient  tendencies—perhaps it all adds up after all. they say she has aligned themselves with NO ORGANIZATION. whispers carry far in these uncertain days. let me tell you what i’ve heard: AMELIA evokes PERFECTLY TAILORED SUITS, BLACK COFFEE LEFT TO GO COLD, FILES PILED HIGH, A WARM EMBRACE YOU NEVER WANT TO LEAVE, THE SMELL OF A BURNING FIRE BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND DANGEROUS effortlessly and is said to be the mirror image of the muggle ADRIANNE PALICKI.  let’s just hope SHE hears the truth before the obscura has a chance to change their mind.

TLDR version!

A bisexual queen. Uses both she/they pronouns

Talented wixen and Auror

don’t fuck with her family.....please just don’t do it.

did i mention bi af? needs a gf or bf in their life?

Is very much on the side of good but refuses to side with the order directly. She is vocal about her position, openly stating how much she despises the death eaters and what they are doing however she believes it's important that she isn't aligned with the Order. It's not that she doesn't agree with what they are doing, she doesn't agree with how they are doing it.

Info

Full name: Amelia Susan Bones Nicknames/aliases: Lia, Ames, Bones. Age: 35 Birthday: September 20th Gender: cis-woman Pronouns: she/they Orientation: bisexual Nationality: British Blood status: Halfblood Occupation: Auror Affiliation: Neutral

Family

Mother: Lynda Bones (Nee TBA Wanted connection!) Father: Rupert Bones Brothers: Edgar and utp Bones

The only daughter of Rupert and Lynda Bones (Nee TBA Cousins WC) Her father was a well respected prosecutor and her mother, an Auror trainer, having stepped aside from field work after the birth of her youngest brother.

The Bones family are know for their long history of service to the ministry and the people. They are a prominent family, with strong connections to and inside the ministry. “Born to Protect” could be mistaken for their family words. They, unlike other old families, do not care about blood purity. They are free to love whoever they so chose, regardless.

Amelia grew up in and around the feet of those in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. When home from school or on holidays their parents would bring them into the Ministry so they could work. From Aurors and Hit Wixen right down to Wizenagmont members and lawyers.  She learnt very early on the importance of justice and what it meant to actually deliver it. Not just make it seem like it had been delivered. This shaped the way Amelia saw the world, not in black and white but in various shades of grey. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. One terrible day or mistake could ruin someone’s entire life.

She hadn't always thrived under the pressure of carrying such a prominent name. During school she had struggled with some of her core lessons, (transfiguration mainly) and had at one point caught the eyes of scouts from the Holyhead Harpies due to her skill as a beater.

She had every intention of heading into the Ministry after graduation as an Auror. It became clear during her training that Amelia was very gifted. She had never considered more specialist training until she was approached by one of her teachers. She went on to specialise in negotiations and hostage situations.

In between her shifts as an Auror and her role as an Aunt to her beloved nieces and nephews, she is studying magical law. She is aware she can't be an Auror forever and is looking into securing her career in the long term.

Wanted Connections

Colleagues: What it says on the tin. People she works with. open to various different forms (good relationship, bad, love-hate) Best Friend: That one person Amelia can always count on! probably one of the few people in the world she would trust her family with Exes 0/2: Ex boyfriends or girlfriends from school or after school. We can plot out why they are Exs and things :D Current partner/lover: If given the choice Amelia wouldn’t have given her heart out during a war but this person swooped in (or people....deff good with a ployship) and took it. Cousin(s): Related through Amelia's mother. This can be plotted out as to what kind of relationship they have. Completely open

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

THANK YOU @devondespresso !!

(sorry it took me a while lol but this looks really fun !! also extra perfect bc I just started reading fics again ✌️)

age gap: -1

I don't care much either way. like, it's fine, as long as no kids/teenagers are involved. the negative point is for the one time I opened a sterek fic to see what the fuss was about. derek stalking the hs while stiles dreamt about his beard and chiseled jaw during class caused emotional damage I don't think I will ever recover from.

Codependency: 11

I love me a good unhealthy relationship 👍 (<- obsessed with wuthering heights)

Obsession/Possession/Jealousy: -6

I find it mostly obnoxious tbh. often a cheap way to create unnecessary drama in the relationship. This is a fanfic, you do not need to shoehorn a third act conflict in the end there. Not rated lower bc it can be funny if done right. But still mostly annoying.

Opposites (Grumpy/Sunshine, etc): 7

I must admit. I am a bit of a sucker for that one. extra points if the characters are desperately trying to force themselves back into who they think they were before sth ✨traumatic✨ happened even though they changed too much fundamentally as a person (<- slut for character studies). though it sucks when the author does it (forcing a stereotype onto the Character and erasing any depth just to fit the trope. ew.)

Enemies to Lovers: 8

enemies to lovers >> friends to lovers. I said what I said. the more messed up shit they do to each other before the friendification begins the better. (though I don't like it when the only reason they get together is bc they find each other hot. like damn, your morals so flimsy that one (1) hot ass does it?? like I'm not here to read the five same paragraphs about how the bod is so hot but you can't have it. I'm here for the personality <3)

Sex to Feelings: -7

often accompanied by a bunch of tropes I'm not a fan of. plus not really into NSFW anyway.

Fake Dating: -9

nope. same reason as above: comes with lots of tropes I really don't like. I don't get what is cute about worrying 24/7 whether you are breaking each other's boundaries and whether your relationship looks convincing to the outside (implying a very strict line between friendship and dating and kinda dictating how couples should act? idk this is a completely different can of worms but sth about that just bothers me)

Friends to Lovers: 3

It's fine. Won't actively search it out but also won't stop me from reading. Used to not be the biggest fan but have learnt to appreciate it more.

Found Family: 10000000000+

the media that first got me into fandom was literally fairy tail. the ultimate friendship anime. enough said.

tho none of the nuclear family bs please and thank youuuu<3

Hurt/Comfort: 10

what can I say? absolute sucker

Love Triangle: -9

"guy A and guy A but wearing a leather jacket both want me. not because we have chemistry (or even personality), but because. also they both mistreat me in unique ways and it doesn't count as cheating if they both like me". I don't get it. please stop.

like, oc it's different when the triangle actually has a narrative purpose. but this one's been so overdone even those get a bit of an eyeroll from me at first

Open/Poly: 2

Won't necessarily search it out, but cool when it is in there 👍 The answer to most love triangles if the author wasn't a coward

Mistaken/Hidden Identity: 4

extra points if it is used for comedy purposes (as it should)

Monsterfucking: 7

Look. I am 1000% sure that writing smut is hard and huge respect to ppl who manage to pull it off. however. oftentimes it is kind of boring to me? Like, with monsters there's at least some weird anatomy going on yk? you never know what will be coming (ha!) next. while vanilla is just like. idk. the only thing that comes to mind at the moment are the certified SJM phrases tbh akdjfj

so this is mainly so high bc monster romance supremacy>> (especially if a bit eldritch and a bit weird. which is so fucking hard to find. and oftentimes the monsterfucking is just part of it. can be a bit annoying when I want the monster to be *romanced* but there's only fucking. so like, the true 7p are actually for the monster romance, I still don't care much for nsfw

that being said

TMA I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU FOR HAVING THE MOST HEARTWRENCHING MONSTER/CREATURE ROMANCES. LOTS OF THOSE EVEN WITHOUT THE FUCKING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE AMEN)

pregnancy: -9

not really a fan. idk how to properly articulate this but like. especially when the pregnancy is only used as a plot device. and the child isn't really seen as a person yk? like. if you decide to keep it. that is a whole-ass human being u putting out there into the world. what the heck.

second chance: -9

I'm way too anxious for this trope lol

slow burn: 2

cool 👍 can sometimes be a bit annoying when you want to see them established all you get are slowburns that *end* when they get together. idk will not dissuade me but will not make me click on it either

soulmate AU: -4

not a huge fan of the ideas of soulmates in general. can't rate it lower bc I *have* read some absolutely banger soulmate fics. however I think the reason it worked is because I am already familiar with the characters and their dynamic from canon/other fan works/etc (and also because they were all oneshots) I can't see myself picking up like a book with this trope (or similar stuff like "fated mates" or sth. not my jam. kinda boring.)

@ty-bayonet-betteridge @rinn-e @ashpkat @flipflapyoutwat and anyone who wants to ig?

Trope rating game

I'm so late but I love these! tagged by @zerokrox-blog ❤️❤️❤️

rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded 

0 - don’t care either way 

+10 -> very enticed 

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.  Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: 0

Definity depends. I don't seek it out but anything like 10 years or less doesn't freak me out too bad.

Codependency: 10

I love it so much it's ~embarrassing~ But I think thats the funny thing with what I write and what I like in fic in general, it's almost all stuff I'd hate in real life?? What does that say about me?

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: 10

See above!

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): 2

I don't seek it out persay but its almost always cute as hell.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: -2

I'm such a true love/fluff addict, I usually dont got the patience. But I have seen sooo many good fics with that trope though, I respect the writers.

Friends with benefits: -2

Just say you love each other already jesus christ 😭😭 (Did I mention I have no patience??)

Sex to feelings: -1

See above

Fake dating/relationship: -1

Same ish with friends and benefits! I'm such a baby gee wiz.

Friends to lovers: +2

It's cute!

Found Family: 10

Love it soooo much. Adore, adore, adore, adore!

Hurt/Comfort: +5

The guarantee of comfort, always gets me going.

Love Triangle: -10

Make em all fuck or get out of my face honestly.

Poly, open relationships: 0

Eh, I like reading the occasional like closed poly relationships or threeway but open ones just dont get me. Maybe because of bad experiences?

Mistaken/hidden identity: 3

I like them....the stupidier it is the better and no i do not know why!

Monsterfucking: +10

Yeahhhhhhhhh, I'm a fan. Definite fan. Mega fan.

Pregnancy: 5

Omegaverse or not, I like it. Which again. actual pregnancy is one of my top 5 fears. Whats up with that?

Second Chance: 0

Eh, don't look for it don't mind it. Im such a little bitch with angst it's not even funny.

Slowburn: 0

Can take or leave.

Soulmates: +5

It's cute!

Tagging with no pressure! @spectrum-spectre @letscrank @devondespresso @jjoesjonas @pearynice @heavenlycrashes @henderdads @hammity-hammer @homosexual-having-tea

[honey-milk-depresso]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA REQS ARE OPEN

okay okay *deep breath in* i'm calm now.

can i have the dorm leaders with an s/o that's kinda like gorou? idk if anyone requested that yet but it's worth a shot <3 keep up the good work honey

Hey bestieee <3 I'm sorry to pick the ones I could do-

You're a loyal supporter towards your friends, and people put their trusts in you a lot, and you've never cease to fail them.

Excited easily, you're a sincere, determined and courageous individual who says whatever's on your mind, uninhibited by others' feelings.

Even when you're inexperienced in ways, you try your best to help out with any problems that may arise.

You're not particularly well-versed in things, more specifically, romance.

TWST The loyal, sincere but romance-oblivious s/o (Gorou)

Riddle Rosehearts

He respects you a lot.

You do your tasks, homework, whatever this academy's got efficiently and well, no effort put to waste.

Riddle respects someone who puts forth their best effort, upholds the rules to the best of their extent and not act like an idiot unlike your two other... friends from his dorm.

Of course, you have had your disagreements with him about his ways of being a dorm leader, but soon after he's learnt his lesson, Riddle was... well.

Head over heels for you to say the least.

You've been his most loyal friend besides Trey and Cater, and you've always made him smile whenever and wherever.

Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to even confess to someone as dense as you. Romance-dense.

"Hmm? Riddle, your face is red? Is everything alright? Do you need me to tell Trey?" you asked with concern.

"H-huh? Oh, it's nothing.." Will you ever know? <3

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul's just amazed by your dedication for your friends.

Even more so when you became his friend.

You treated him warmly and kindly with pure intent and genuinely polite,

you respected him, liked him for who he is and never seem to leave his side when his heart goes in all direction.

It's just... it's just too much for him.

In a good way I assure you!

You've always been determined to help out, or just- in anything, generally speaking. He's always getting that "doki doki panic" whenever you see him as your relationship bloom further.

Unfortunately, you don't quite seem to pick up on the hints he drops on you when he wants to confess to you in his subtle ways.

"Azul, remember to drink more water! You look like you're perspiring a lot!" you chided worriedly to him, upon seeing the octopus blush a red hue.

"Y-y-yes! Yes of course!"

Sigh... <3

Malleus Draconia

Ah,

he's so happy to have met someone as strong willed and loyal as you.

You've always looked up to him as not just a friend, but as YOUR best friend (friendzoned-)

Malleus could smile all day listening to you talk for hours and hours about your day, your plans, your work, anything-

and just be with you. All day.

A fae in love? I think so, too~

But even though it was clear for everyone to see the fae's attachment towards you, it doesn't seem to buzz through your head.

"Thank you for helping me organize the papers for me, Malleus-san. I'm sorry to have you help me on this, however."

"It's quite alright, child of man. I don't mind helping you as much as you've helped me."

"Oh, it's fine! I'm used to helping people! It makes me happy!"

"Hmm, I suppose so."

Lilia watches from the side lines with a drowsy Silver and a confused Sebek (who was having confused screaming faces-).

"Perhaps Malleus needs more than all the help he needs~" <3

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

the implications of language

Malec | Rated general | minor tw for mention of Magnus’ mother’s suicide | Canon Compliant, although it's a mix of book and show, you don't need to have read either, Canon Era, Non-Linear Narrative, Languages, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane,Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Is a Nice Thing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i love them ur honour

Summary: The first time it happens, it’s only because Magnus is exhausted.

Or, Indonesian is Magnus' mother tongue — the language he slips into when he doesn't have the presence of mind for anything else. Alec wants to learn. 

A/N: I came up with this idea thanks to Li, so I'm gifting it to them!

Translations are from Google Translate and/or indolang.com; if there are any errors or insensitivities, please tell me so I can fix them!

Read it on AO3 or below the cut. (AO3 has translations, tumblr doesn't.)

The first time it happens, it’s only because Magnus is exhausted.

Between a series of demanding clients who he ranted about to Alec over text, not one but two rifts opening up and requiring a warlock to close, and then a horde of demons that had escaped through the second rift before Magnus had managed to close it, it makes perfect sense for Magnus to be tired out. Alec lent him strength to close the last rift, so he isn’t too magically exhausted, but the day was a long one, and Magnus doesn’t have the energy to keep up his usual walls.

“—kemarilah, sayang,” he murmurs half into his pillow, half to Alec. Sayang is something Alec recognises — Magnus started calling him that after they’d been dating a little while; he doesn’t know what it means, other than a probably-endearment in another language. He doesn’t recognise the other word, either, but he can wait to figure it out; for now, Magnus obviously wants Alec to come closer, and Alec obeys.

“Selamat malam,” Magnus mumbles, almost incomprehensible, curling an arm around Alec to pull him closer.

“Good night, Magnus,” Alec says, and he falls asleep with Magnus in his arms.

~

He looks it up the next day. Alec isn’t entirely sure how trustworthy Google Translate is, since it’s saying sayang is Malay for “dear” while kemarilah is Indonesian for “come here”, but he remembers that Magnus was born in Indonesia; when exhausted, he slipped back into his mother tongue.

It’s… actually kind of adorable, when Alec thinks about it; he’s sure that Magnus speaks more languages than he could ever count, and he speaks English impeccably, but it’s somehow heartwarming to know that when he isn’t watching his words, he still falls back on Indonesian.

Alec speaks fifteen different languages as part of his training in politics — enough to communicate easily with the Head of any major Institute worldwide; all of them speak English, yes, as that is the language of Alicante, but people are more comfortable in their native language and that can be essential. (Alec speaks six demonic languages, too, but that’s a different matter.) Indonesian, however, he doesn’t know — the Jakarta Institute is Indonesian, but a ley line fluke means that there aren’t many demons there and therefore not enough Shadowhunters to merit the status of major Institute. And even if Alec had learnt modern Indonesian, it probably wouldn’t match up with Magnus’ Indonesian, since a bit of research suggests the language had changed over the years.

He wonders if Magnus would like it if he learned, or if it’d be invasive — if Alec would be insinuating himself into an aspect of Magnus’ past where Magnus didn’t want him.

He plans to talk to Magnus about it, but between Valentine and the Soul Sword and Jonathan and all the chaos Clary brings, it never seems like the right time. I love you, he says, and Magnus says it back, but it’s only a few weeks later that Magnus walks away from him, from them, because of the stupidity of the secret Alec kept. Even after Valentine’s gone and they get together again, their relationship feels new, unsteady, uncertain; it feels like it might crumble if Alec steps the wrong way, so he watches himself and doesn’t bring up the question, though it hovers in the back of his mind. Especially when he sees all the pain that Magnus’ past has brought him; would Magnus want to be reminded of that?

~

Then, of course, there’s the Owl and Jonathan (again) and Lilith and Asmodeus, and Alec is too caught up in worrying over Magnus’ magic to ask. They go from exes to fiancés in under twenty-four hours, and then they’re married and Alec doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy.

Their wedding night, Magnus holds him close with a poorly-concealed desperation that speaks of days in Edom, not believing Alec would come. Alec hugs him back, because he, too, spent far too long believing that they were over. Magnus is here, in his arms, and yet Alec’s mind can’t quite trust in it, as though a breath of wind could shatter this perfect dream.

“Aku cinta kamu, Alexander,” Magnus says softly.

Those words, Alec knows. “I love you too.”

Magnus smiles against his chest, a hidden thing full of a love that, incomprehensibly, has been given to Alec; Alec’s own smile is pressed into Magnus’ — into his husband’s — hair, soft and silky against his face.

Alec wants to talk about Magnus’ past, wants to ask if he can learn Indonesian, too, but he’s exhausted and he’s barely slept since — he casts his mind back, trying to remember — since before Magnus broke down in his arms, the night of the failed proposal. After that, he’d been occupied with the pain in Magnus’ voice and the deal that he was considering; then he’d been unable to sleep for the ache where Magnus should be, combined with guilt for the pain he’d caused him; then Magnus had been in Edom, and Alec had been searching for a way to get him back, and— well. Alec hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in a long time.

Magnus isn’t much better, he knows, but the sleepy mumble Magnus gives against his chest quiets the aching fears and thoughts. Gently, they fall asleep.

~

“—tolong berhenti, tolong jangan sakiti aku,” Magnus is murmuring, soft and heartbreaking, voice cracked with pain. “Saya akan baik-baik saja, saya berjanji, saya tidak melakukan apa-apa, tolong.” 

“Shh,” Alec says, pointlessly. Magnus can’t hear him; he’s deep in some delirium that Alec can’t penetrate, thanks to a particularly lucky demon that’d managed a hit before Alec had killed it. “Shh, love, I’m right here…”

“Aku tidak membunuhnya, pergilah,” Magnus continues. Alec doesn’t know the words — he wishes, more than ever, that he could’ve managed to learn more Indonesian than he has, and makes a vow to fix that as soon as possible — but he recognizes the tone. Desperation. Fear. “Maaf, ayah, aku tidak mau…”

He cuts himself off with a strangled cry, and Alec wants to gather him in his arms and hold him so tightly that nothing in the world can ever hurt him. To change the past so that nothing has ever hurt him; he doesn’t know which nightmare of Magnus’ past is running through his mind, but there are plenty.

Magnus is whimpering now, quieter, without words now. He’s been alternating between screamed pleas and terrified silence for three hours, and Cat said it’d wear off in four or five. Neither she nor Alec can do anything to speed up the process.

Seized by a sudden determination, Alec gets up from the chair at Magnus’ side and climbs into the bed with him, looping his arms around Magnus’ sweat-soaked body. He’s shivering, from cold or fear or the demon’s poison; it’s impossible to know, and it doesn’t really matter anyway. Magnus is suffering and Alec can’t help.

Magnus doesn’t react to his touch; Alec doubts he has any awareness of Alec’s presence, lost in hallucinations of his worst fears, his worst memories. Abruptly, Magnus stiffens.

“Alexander,” he whispers. “Alec, tolong, aku tidak bisa kehilanganmu, tidak sekarang, tidak ketika aku baru saja menemukanmu.”

Alec knows, with a lurch of the heart, what dreams are tormenting his husband now. Dreams of Alec, which means this pain is Alec’s fault. “It’s alright, Magnus,” he says. “I’m fine, I’m right here.”

Magnus can’t hear him. Might not understand Alec’s words even if he could hear them; he’s only speaking in Indonesian now, and Alec wishes he’d tried to learn more of the language. He’d been hesitant to bring it up, unsure if it would be welcome, but he wants to know what Magnus is saying, no matter how heartwrenching it would turn out to be.

“Aku cinta kamu,” Alec whispers, the only Indonesian phrase he knows, and hopes that it reaches Magnus somewhere in his dreams.

~

“Kamu menggemaskan, sayang,” Magnus mumbles sleepily. It’s been a week since the demon poisoning and Magnus is in perfect health again — or would be, if he hadn’t insisted on healing a young werewolf child who’d caught a rare magical disease. The illness was more entrenched than he’d thought, and by the time the child was cured, Magnus was stumbling with exhaustion. Alec had hailed a taxi to get home and practically carried him up the stairs. Magnus’ comment in Indonesian seemed to be a response to Alec tucking him into bed.

Indonesian is the language Magnus falls into when he’s half-asleep, when he doesn’t have the presence of mind to translate; it’s the first language he learnt, at his mother’s knee, and Alec knows it’s an integral part of who he is.

Alec has always wanted more of Magnus, even in the beginning, when he couldn’t face that truth. (Magnus feared — still fears, perhaps — that Alec will one day decide he’s too much and leave him for it, because so many others have done the same; Alec can’t understand how they could possibly want less of somebody like Magnus.) He wants to know all that Magnus is, impossible as that would be. He wants to know this bit of Magnus, too.

~

“That client,” Magnus says, as the door slams shut behind the man, “is a stuck-up snobbish irrational bajingan who I would happily see torn to shreds by the equally stuck-up pet dogs he seems to believe are better than any human being except, of course, himself.”

Alec, emerging from their bedroom where he’d been half-listening to the argument between Magnus and the client, snorts. “I can follow him and take care of that for you.”

Magnus huffs at him, waving a hand. “I’d rather not have you arrested for murdering a mundane, sayang.”

“I could be careful,” Alec suggests, approaching.

Humming in thought, Magnus tugs him closer. “I’m sure you could, but really, I’d much prefer to forget about him entirely.”

“I can help with that,” Alec returns with a grin, and leans down to kiss him.

It’s Alec’s day off, and Magnus has cancelled all clients except this one, so they’ve got enough time to curl up together on the couch and relax, trading kisses every so often. Magnus rants a bit more about the client, mixing English and Indonesian swear words; the Indonesian tends to come out only when Magnus is particularly upset, although it’s become more common with Alec. A sign of trust.

They’re quiet for a bit after that, a comfortable silence that Alec can relax in. It’s also a perfect opportunity to ask Magnus the question he’s been thinking about for months.

“Could you — I mean, do you — would you want to teach me Indonesian?” Alec asks, probably too abruptly, because Magnus blinks in surprise. He keeps talking rather than shutting up, which would be the sensible thing. “I mean, obviously you don’t have to teach me if you don’t want to, but it’s your first language and I’d like to learn it so I could talk to you in Indonesian — but if you don’t want to, we can totally forget about it, I just meant—”

Magnus raises a finger to Alec’s lips, and he quiets, just like he did the first time Magnus shushed him like this. “You want to learn Indonesian?”

“Yes.”

“I… don’t think anyone’s ever wanted to do that before,” Magnus says thoughtfully, something touched and delicate hovering under the surface of his words.

“I do.” Alec meets his eyes carefully. “I love you, Magnus, and that means all of you. Your language is part of that, as is your past.”

“I love you too,” Magnus returns, almost involuntarily, lips curving up into a smile. “And I’d be honoured to teach you.”

~

Alec’s never had an innate gift for languages — not like Jace, who speaks at least five more languages than Alec, and seems to pick them up with an impossible facility — but he’s worked hard to master those he knows, and he finds that the more languages he knows, the easier it is to learn a new one.

Magnus warns him before they start that he won’t really be able to speak to anyone but Magnus in the seventeenth-century brand of Indonesian that Magnus can teach him, but Alec isn’t worried; he doesn’t need to talk to anyone else. And he likes the idea of a language that only they know, like a secret held between them.

Verbs. Pronouns. Indonesian isn’t gendered — “he” and “she” use the same word — so that’s one less complication for Alec to deal with. Magnus is a good teacher; he clearly hasn’t taught anyone Indonesian before, but he’s taught hundreds of young warlocks, and the same skills apply. He stays up later than usual practising; he wants to get the pronunciation right, to figure out how to construct a sentence the way a native speaker would.

Progress is, of course, slow. Languages always are, Alec remembers; Magnus compliments him on every bit of progress, small as it may be.

A month passes. Two. Alec tries to speak in Indonesian whenever he can, and Magnus is delighted every time, which makes it more than worth the extra effort.

When Magnus murmurs “kamu adalah hatiku, jiwaku, cintaku. Kau adalah segalanya bagiku,” soft and gentle in the curved lines of evening, Alec knows what he’s saying: You are my heart, my soul, my love. You are everything to me.

He says it back, pronunciation faulty but improving, and Magnus smiles bright enough to outshine the sun.

~

The Clave event is abysmally boring.

Clave events always are — Alec knows that, intellectually — but that doesn’t change how particularly infuriatingly boring this one is. Perhaps it’s because the meeting that preceded it was an exercise in frustration; perhaps it’s because Alec’s managed to avoid the last two and so he’s no longer accustomed to the sheer mind-numbingness of it. Perhaps it’s because Magnus isn’t here.

Whatever the reason, Alec’s growing frustration with the fifty old white men (along with a few old white women, and perhaps fifteen simpering girls far too young for the husbands they’re here to accompany; Aline was here at the start, but she left an hour ago) means that making small talk with them is painful. Between the meaningless observations on the weather are a horrifying number of insensitive or downright discriminatory comments — or they ought to be horrifying, but the sheer number of them meant that rather than anger, all Alec felt was a deep-seated disgust for the people he was surrounded by.

He hates being here, hates being surrounded by them, but he needs their support if he wants to get anything done. He needs them to vote for the bills he wants to pass, needs them to respect him, needs them not to know how much he hates them. He can’t insult them in any way they might take offence at; he derived some pleasure earlier on from complaining to Aline, but she left, and Alec has to be polite alone.

This — these events, the behaviour required at them — shouldn’t be necessary. Small-talk, gentility, quiet polite cruelty — none of it is needed to function as a society. His success shouldn’t depend on how well he can pretend to be one of these people.

But it does, and unless he succeeds, he can’t change things. He can’t make these events obsolete unless he participates in them. Catch-22.

“Lightwood,” Senator Ashkeep says with a positively smarmy smile. “I must say I was fascinated by your analysis on Downworlder physiognomy. Such an interesting idea, that their demonic natures don’t affect their behaviour…”

During the meeting, a discussion arose — as it always seemed to — about whether Downworlders could be trusted without Shadowhunter supervision. Alec, perhaps wrongly, gave in to his impulses and declared that Downworlders weren’t demons by any means and could be trusted just as much as a Shadowhunter.

Ashkeep is one of the people Alec really does hope to get on his side; the man is old and bigoted, but can be swayed by the course of public opinion. “It’s growing in popularity at the moment,” Alec says, smiling politely. “I’m not the only one to have found that, in the majority of my interactions with Downworlders, they aren’t nearly as controlled by their impulses as some might believe.”

“I suppose you would have… personal experience with such things,” Ashkeep returns. There’s an implication in his smile that makes Alec’s hackles rise. “A warlock bedmate, hm? What’s that like?”

Alec changes his mind: perhaps he doesn’t need Ashkeep’s support after all. He lets the polite mask slip a little, just enough to make Ashkeep’s smile falter. “I really do believe,” Alec says, perfectly cooly, “that’s none of your business. And I might add that perhaps, if the Clave consisted more of those willing to actually interact with the people we’re supposed to be protecting with our lives, and less of ancient old fools who can’t see the necessity of cooperating with the Downworld from the pedestal they’ve decided they deserve to be on for no reason I can detect, the world might be a happier and better place than it’s ever managed to be under your rule.”

Ashkeep blinks, taken aback and perhaps not fully understanding Alec’s point; he’s realised that Alec is insulting him, though, and Alec almost regrets his outburst. Almost.

Before those regrets can solidify into consequences, however, the door to the room opens rather more dramatically than any Clave member would open it, and Magnus strides in.

Attention falls to him, almost by default; Alec is used to looking at Magnus whenever he’s in the room, and he doesn’t blame anyone else for doing the same. Especially now, when all the Clave members are wearing different shades of black to dark blue suits, and Magnus is dressed to the nines in a shirt that’s only barely opaque and glitters gold, a jacket covered in intricate designs that seem to shimmer and move as the light catches them, and pants so tight they look painted on. Add in the gold eyeshadow and the stripes of gold in his hair, and Magnus is undeniably the brightest person in the room.

Alec grins. Magnus had a client this afternoon, but he’d promised to come to the Clave party if time allowed. Clearly, time had allowed.

“Alexander,” Magnus says with a smile, swanning up to him, and then switches to Indonesian. “Seberapa menyebalkan mereka hari ini?” How infuriating are they being today?

“Sangat,” Alec returns. Extremely.

This is why Alec loves having Magnus at these events. It’s not just the pleasure of having him by his side, or knowing that Magnus is on his side, although that’s also something he’s desperately in need of right now. It’s because he can talk freely with Magnus, without having to watch his words in case one of the other attendees has a hearing rune activated. He can say what he thinks, and that is more valuable than ever surrounded by people like this, who thrive on lies. Alec can lie with the best of them, but that doesn’t mean he likes it.

Magnus sways into his side, comforting, and asks what happened. Alec replies in a murmur, the Indonesian he’s growing more comfortable with slipping from his lips in a stream of expletives and explanations.

“You didn’t need to defend my honour, darling,” Magnus comments, still in Indonesian, when Alec tells him about Ashkeep. “I’d hate it if you lost his vote because of me.”

“I don’t need his vote,” Alec huffs. “And honestly, I’m not sure if he understood enough of what I was saying to get offended, anyway.”

Magnus laughs, and despite the crowd of people Alec hates that surround them, the world seems a little bit brighter.

Yes, Alec hates these events; yes, they’re mind-numbingly boring. But he’s doing this for a reason, a reason who’s currently standing at his side to help him face all of this, and anything’s worth it to hear that laugh.

Anything.

~

“Bapak,” Max says, blue lips beaming up at Alec and Magnus. It’s his second word; his first was Da, for Alec, while bapak is for Magnus. English and Indonesian.

“Hello, little blueberry,” Magnus murmurs, smiling. “Anakku yang brilian.” My brilliant boy.

Max giggles, then claps his hands, blue sparks jumping out from his fingers. “Bapak!”

“Max,” Magnus says.

“Bapak!”

“Max!”

“Bapak!”

Alec huffs, shaking his head. “How did I know that as soon as he figured out how to say it, that would become his favourite word?”

Magnus shrugs, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s been saying ‘Da’ for a month now. I think I deserve some attention.” Then, turning back to the blue boy in his arms, “Max!”

Amid renewed repetition of “Bapak!”, Alec grins, watching his family. He still can’t believe he gets to have this, sometimes — a family, one who he loves with all he is, one that speaks in a hybrid mixture of English and seventeenth-century Indonesian. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and more; it’s the dream he never dared to hope he could have until, suddenly, it came within his reach.

“Aku cinta kamu,” he says softly, and his two warlocks look at him and smile, and this is all he’ll ever need.

~

“I swear I don’t understand half the things Max says,” Jace says with a huff, sitting down on Alec’s desk. “I was trying to have a conversation with him, and he kept saying ‘bebek’ and laughing. That’s not even a word.”

“Isn’t it?” Alec glances up at him, raising an eyebrow. “‘Bebek’ is Indonesian for ‘duck’.” Jace blanches, and Alec goes on, grinning. “I’m really proud to have raised such an intelligent son.”

Apparently determined to change the subject, Jace brushes that aside. “I didn’t know you spoke Indonesian.”

“It’s Magnus’ first language. Of course I learned it.”

Jace blinks, and then abruptly grins. “That’s adorable. And now you’re teaching your son to speak it, too!”

Alec rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I know how adorable you find my family. I’m still not letting you babysit Max this weekend; he doesn’t need to learn how to handle a dagger quite yet.”

“But—”

Cutting him off, Alec goes on. “And I’m unwilling to have him spend any more time with somebody who thinks funner is acceptable language for a report. Really, Jace?” He holds up the report he’d been correcting, mostly red ink.

With a sigh, Jace jumps off the table. “Well, I’d best be off before you try to make me rewrite it, then.”

He’s out the door in a moment. Alec groans. “Bodoh.”

~

“Thank the Angel you’re back,” Simon says, pulling open the door.

Alec frowns. “The kids?”

“They’re not hurt,” Simon says hurriedly, “but Max kept asking for more ice cream and when I said no, he magicked me to the ceiling, and he and Rafe shared the whole tub, so they’re on a bit—”

Max runs past, screaming with laughter, Rafael tearing along at his heels.

“—of a sugar rush,” Simon finishes. “I’m really sorry, Alec, but I couldn’t really—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Alec tells him. “I can’t really do much when Max does something like that, either.”

Jace, wiping ichor off his seraph blade at Alec’s side, made a noise of agreement. Usually, Alec wouldn’t leave his rather chaotic sons with a non-warlock, but Magnus is at a weeklong warlock conference which Cat, Ragnor, and Tessa are all attending; Alec wasn’t able to avoid this patrol, as the Institute is a bit short-staffed, so he left Max and Rafe in Simon’s care while he and Jace patrolled.

“DADDY!” Max yells, coming tearing down the hallway. “The monster is chasing me!”

“I’m the monster!” Rafe explains, helpfully. He’s wearing a headband with horns on it which Alec vaguely recognises from the Halloween outfit Simon wore last year.

Max jumps at Alec, who barely manages to get his seraph blade out of the way before catching him. “Careful, pequeño,” Alec tells him, settling him comfortably on the hip without a seraph blade on it.

Rafael growls. “I’m coming to get you, Maxie!”

“Daddy’s protecting me! I’m safe from you, raksasa!” Max crows from his perch, then switches into Spanish. “¡No puedes traerme aquí!” You can’t get me!

“But I can,” Jace says, grinning, and reaches out to tickle Max.

Squealing, Alec’s son pulls away, calling out in a torrent of hybrid English/Spanish/Indonesian for Uncle Jace to stop. Jace isn’t caught off guard by not knowing a third of the words anymore; everyone’s grown well-used to Max and Rafe’s tendencies to mix languages. Rafe’s first language is Spanish, and when he first arrived, Max spoke English and Indonesian to about the same degree; it hadn’t taken long for the two boys to begin talking continuously in a mixture of the three languages that gave a headache to anyone who wasn’t used to it. Fortunately, Alec knows Spanish fairly well thanks to Maryse’s Hispanic heritage, and he has little trouble keeping up anymore.

Max claps his hands, creating clouds of glitter that temporarily blind Alec and coat everyone present in a thick layer of shininess. Jace glances at Max, at Alec, back to Max, and hastily bids good-bye. Simon shrugs apologetically and follows, leaving Alec with the mess.

Alec turns to look at his two little troublemakers, both covered in more glitter than he would’ve thought possible before Magnus, and huffs. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

~

Three hours and only one tantrum later, Alec is sitting on the couch with an exhausted child leaning into each side. He’s sure there’s still a bit of glitter behind Max’s ears, but there’s not much more he can do; in any case, both boys have finally come off their sugar rush and are now crashing, which means at least they’re asleep.

Alec’s tired too, and he briefly debates moving the boys to their beds so he can sleep in his own, but they’d likely wake up again if he did and he doesn’t really have the energy to read Max the six bedtime stories that have become his normal. Which leaves him here until he gathers the energy to take them to bed.

He misses Magnus, who could magic them both to bed with minimal fuss. Who can walk into a room and make it feel brighter. Who smiles like sunlight and kisses like the answer to every question Alec has ever asked.

And now he’s being sappy. He’s tired; it’s justifiable. And it’s been four days since he’s last seen Magnus, which means it’ll be three more until he sees him again…

The door swings open, and Alec blinks, then shakes his head; it must be his sleep-addled brain, because for a moment he’d thought—

Footsteps in the hall. Footsteps he knows, the same way he knows by the pattern of Max’s breathing when he’s asleep or only pretending, the same way he knows if Rafe is just being his usual quiet self or if he’s upset about something. But Magnus is at a warlock conference; it couldn’t possibly be him, so who—?

Magnus stepped around the doorway, barely more than a silhouette against the hall light, but he’s unmistakeable and Alec’s lips curve up into an exhausted, delighted smile. “Magnus.”

He sits up, gently dislodging Max and Rafe, who shift slightly and then appear to fall back asleep. “You’re back.”

“The conference ended earlier than expected, and I… skipped the usual post-conference parties,” Magnus explains, coming closer. ”Aku merindukanmu, sayang.” I’ve missed you.

“Y yo te,” Alec returns in Spanish. And I you.

Magnus tugs him into a kiss, and it feels like coming home.

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hey! I just love how you write and characterize the lords and if you're taking requests i was wondering if i could do one of my own. It's be basically how the other lords would react to finding out you were datibg one of them.

Hii, thank you for requesting this! it’s been a very busy and stressful day and this really helped me unwind! It’s gender neutral and i put it all in a little scenario for everyone to enjoy!

Alcina Dimitrescu

You knew that when you invited the other three lords over to Castle Dimitrescu for dinner that there may be some shocked faces sitting around you.

It was finally the night that you and Alcina were going to announce that you were dating to her other siblings. Her daughters of course had already welcomed you into their home and looked up to you.

Alcina sat at the head of the table, you to her side as she placed her hand in yours and raised a glass in the air, Daniela tapping her knife against her glass in order to clear the room.

“My dearest, and not so dearest siblings, tonight we dine with a special occasion in mind… and so I would like to formally announce to you all that we’re dating.”

She finishes her toast by saluting Heisenberg who looks like he’s just about choked on his fork when he sees Alcina hold your hand up and kiss your knuckles.

Angie screeches with excitement which breaks the silence of the room, jumping for joy as Donna claps her hands, the two clearly very happy for you both.

Moreau is nothing but supportive, if not a little sad as couples make him fell that much lonelier but he can’t stop the smile on his face from seeing you two together.

Karl pretends like he’s not happy for his sister, keeping up the playful banter the two share and whines about not wanting to attend any weddings or think about gifts.

“Oh hush, you man-thing. You’re just jealous, nothing more.”

Everyone in the room chuckles and Karl holds up his glass to salute the two of you in return, very happy for the both of you but won’t show it.

Meanwhile Daniela, Cassandra and Bela internally cringe when they see their mother lean over and kiss your cheek while waiting for desert.

“EWW mother! that’s gross!”

Donna Beneviento

She’s very terrified to tell her siblings about you, always anxious about what other people think about her.

However, you stand for none of that and pull her into a tight hug, assuring her that no matter what you’ll always love her.

After Miranda ended a family meeting and only the siblings remained, you cleared your throat to get the Lords attention.

Before you can even open your mouth to explain yourself Angie comes rushing around the corner with a huge grin on her face.

“THEY’RE DATING!! Aren’t they adorable?! You better think they’re adorable!”

Angie’s chaotic energy fills the room as she bounces from overly excited that she announced your relationship and threatening anyone that would think otherwise.

Donna waves her hand and Angie is summoned back to where she sits on her forearm. Your hand reaches down and takes her other hand that’s sitting by her side. Your fingers slot together perfectly as her slightly shaking and sweaty hands hold onto yours for dear life.

Alcina gives one of her large toothy grins, accentuated by her vibrant red lipstick.

“I must host a ball for the two of you at once!”

Moreau is slightly creeped out by Angie’s still very threatening stare but his smile is genuine as he beams at the two of you.

He’s super excited and definitely starts thinking of ways he can be a wingman to your relationship like planning dates, making gifts and maybe fishing out an old camera.

Karl having been rather close to you and Donna can’t be more happy for you both, especially Donna who he’s recently rekindled his friendship with.

He wraps her in a tight hug with his arms around her shoulder as he ruffles part of her hair.

“I’m really happy for you two, but don’t expect any of the sappy tears cause you ain’t getting any of it!”

Salvatore Moreau

It took a lot of failed attempts to get Salvatore to walk through the church’s door with his hand in yours.

After much trial and error, he’s finally ready to announce to his siblings about your relationship.

When you first walk in together, everyone is mildly shocked, you had been keeping it a secret for a while.

Alcina takes a long drag from her cigarette and points at your hands together, a smile breaking out on her face.

“It seems you’ve been busy Salvatore, I thought you never left that mine of yours but it seems I have been pleasantly surprised. I must say I am happy for you both.”

Pretty soon after, Angie comes running up to you and tugs on your leg. You look down at her as she jumps up and down with joy.

“Does that mean we’re like siblings now, you’re our in-law now!! You have to come and see the dolls Donna made! Ooh she can make you a doll for you and Sal!”

Heisenberg’s shock gets turned into bubbly laughter as he pats Salvatore on the back and looks over to you, excited as ever.

“I hope you’ve learnt how to get used to his nightly cheese obsession. I don’t know how you do it.”

You know he’s just being playful but deep down he’s still happy for the two of you in your relationship.

Eventually Mother Miranda arrives and you take your seat next to Salvatore, giving his shoulder a nudge and a playful wink as you hold his hand under the pew.

Karl Heisenberg

Karl has two moods when he thinks about announcing your relationship to his siblings.

It always varies between not giving a shit about what they say, being too tough to take criticism or rejection; ready to ignore whoever had something bad to say and completely freaking out that it could find its way back to Mother Miranda and be used against you both.

When you finally confide him to put down his tools, stump the cigar out and go over to his siblings and tell them he’s already boarder line freaking out.

The Lords stand at the ceremony cite, confused as to why they’ve been summoned without Miranda.

You stand there waiting for Karl to say something, as he stares back at you, pleading behind his glasses. You groan and face his siblings.

“Ugh fine i’ll do it you drama queen. EVERYONE! Karl and I are dating, there I said it for you!”

Alcina is the first to respond, cracking up with laughter as she sees her brother all embarrassed over such a small thing. She can’t deny that she’s happy for you and has known for a while that you were at least sweet on each other.

There have been many times where she’s caught you both staring at each other during family meetings or events and even heard whispers from the Duke about you both spending a lot of time together. Now her suspicions have been confirmed.

“My Dear, how you can stand him is beyond my knowledge but if he makes you happy then I welcome you into our family. Officially.”

Salvatore is beyond happy that you and Karl are together, knowing in some ways that the two of them are similar and have a habit of staying locked away in their respective domains without socialising with many people. So for him to hear that Karl finally found someone, he’s absolutely thrilled.

And Donna, well she’s so happy for the both of you. Both her and Angie love spending time with you and now that they’ve heard about your relationship she wants nothing more than to have lunch and talk for hours as you tell her all the little quirks about heisenberg that no one gets to see but you.

Soon all four lords make their way over to the Duke to get some lunch and any other supplies they might need. The whole time you hand is wrapped around Karl’s arm and you reach over to place a kiss on his cheek as he leans into you.

[clairecrive]

hi!!! can I ask for darkling smut after he and the reader get in an argument? like it starts out angry but by the end they're super passionate and cuddly? thank you and congrats on so many followers!!

A/n: you ask and you shall receive, hun! I love writing this so so much. I hope you'll like to read it too. Thanks for requesting and for your words xx This is also for this anon.

Warnings: angst, smut, fluff at the end

Word count: 2.9 K

Tags: @blackst0nes7077, @thefictionalgemini, @louweasleymalfoy @jupiterandbutterflies , @for-bebbanburg, @tarkanelima-blog, genre), @pansysgirlfriend, @acciorudolphx, @kaqua , @hannaxmaria, @vintagebitc, @deardiarystuff (if you want you can add yourself to my taglist by filling this form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

“You will not believe what-” y/n had the habit of not knocking before entering his room. The general had been more than annoyed with her initially, but she insisted that it was a way for him to distinguish her from everyone else.

Hear the door open? You don’t have to guess who it is, you’ll know it’s me, she used to tell him.

Now, however, she was wishing she didn’t have that habit in the first place. Stumbling into a room, your partner’s room, to find him standing way too close to another girl, wasn’t on her list for tonight. Maybe a warning would have been nice but at the same time, if she had knocked she wouldn’t have found them this way.

Her initial enthusiasm at the prospect of sharing this gossip with him had suddenly vanished. The smile on her face turned into a frown as Alina cleared her voice and took a step away from the general for decency’s sakes. Too late, y/n wanted to tell her.

It was painfully clear what she had interrupted. She willed her face to set into an emotionless expression but she couldn’t help a glance in Aleksander direction. Arms behind him, he looked nothing but proper and collected. But y/n knew him, probably better than anyone else in this world, and had learnt how to read his body. His jaw was clenched which meant that he wasn’t as calm as he wanted to appear.

Good, y/n thought, let him drown in guilt and misery.

Clearing her voice, she realized she had been standing there without saying anything for too long.

“I’m so sorry, General, I didn’t know you were busy. I should have knocked,” she excused herself without looking at them. “I’ll leave you to it.” With a slight nod, she added before hightailing out of the room.

She could feel Alina’s questioning gaze on her back as she closed the door behind her. There were already rumours going around about her supposed relationship with the General. No one knew for certain, neither y/n nor Kirigan had ever bothered confirming or denying them. Now though, she knew that words of this little encounter would spread, further cementing the already existing gossip.

Oh well, she thought as she walked to her room, by the looks of it there wasn’t going to be a relationship to gossip about anymore.

Her bedroom had lost every sense of familiarity and comfort a private space like this should have. She hardly ever slept in it anymore. Not since she and the general had become a thing. She only went there to change and so slipping into the bed felt weird and anonymous. As if she was in someone else’s bed and not hers.

Her sleep was doomed to be restless, she knew. However, tomorrow’s busy schedule prompted her to at least try and get some sleep. Even if it only was a couple of hours. Shuffling to change position she tried to keep Aleksander out of her mind.

An unachievable task, she was aware but she tried nonetheless. Things between them had been tense ever since he had come back to the Little Palace with her. y/n knew of his plans. She knew why he needed to do certain things and how Alina was involved. That didn’t mean she was fine with it though.

Not only did it bother her the fact that he was stripping the girl of her will and powers eventually but it also bothered her that he had chosen to get to her by manipulating her feelings. They had had countless fights because of this but nothing ever came out of it. A centuries-long existence meant that he was stubborn beyond belief and there was no way of making him change his mind once it was set on something.

After what she had witnessed today though, y/n wondered if the jokes were on him and he did end up feeling something genuine for Alina. Y/n herself had met her and spoke with her a couple of times and she had to admit begrudgingly that she wasn’t that bad.

Lost in her thoughts, y/n was snapped out of it by a loud knock at her door. As soon as she started to wonder who could be bothering her at this hour, the door opened and she stopped guessing.

Of course, it was him.

“I’m in no mood to talk to you, Aleksander. Please go.” She spoke, not bothering to turn towards where she knew he was standing. Y/n knew that while she couldn’t see him in the dark this wasn’t true for him. Shadows didn’t hinder his view like they did everyone else, they were an extension of him.

He didn’t speak but she also didn’t hear him walking away. She let out a sigh and that was the only way she was willing to acknowledge him. He wanted to stand in the shadow and stare like a creep? Fine, two could play this game.

Set on ignoring him, she stubbornly stared ahead of her. She was very aware of his eyes on her, stinging like needles. If sleep was arduous to achieve before now it was impossible. In any case, she closed her eyes and pretended to be at least. He wouldn’t know the difference and would leave her alone at some point.

But of course, she knew him well enough by now and he wasn’t as easily deterred. She didn’t know how much time passed but her eyes flew open as she felt her bed dip. Her breath hitched and she laid on full alert.

Then she felt the shadow of his touch on her neck and knew that he was close. Way too close that he should be. He was probably propped on his arm as she felt her pillow dip too.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” He whispered close to her ears, his lips suggestively tracing her earlobe.

Despite the chills that his touch would usually send to her body, y/n stifled a treacherous gasp. Instead, her body stiffened and she almost pushed him away but she wasn’t sure that touching him wouldn’t backfire.

“If you think I’d let you lay a finger on me after you touched her, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Who says I did?”

“Please, stick to manipulating one girl, okay? Move. away.”

He didn’t reply but the hand that was on her neck moved to her shoulder and pushed back so that she was laying on her back and facing him. Well, the darkness was too thick for her to actually see his face but she could feel his breath.

“Do not push me away.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Y/n bite back.

“You’re well aware of my plans, don’t act so betrayed now.”

“Well, maybe I’m tired of being a pawn in your schemes.”

“A pawn isn’t aware of its role nor of the whole plan.”

“Being smart with me won’t help, Aleksander. You want Alina? Fine, go get her. But leave me out of this.” Pulling her face free of his grip, she turned on her side. The shadows around him had dissipated a bit, allowing you to glimpse at his face.

“You cannot do this, y/n.” he growled, pushing her on her back again, “you said you were in this. You said you wanted me, that you were going to be by my side always. You can’t just change your mind. You can’t.” His voice was strangled with emotion almost breaking on some words.

Y/n had never heard his voice so filled with sorrow. Because that’s what he must be feeling. She thought that he was also feeling betrayed by her but then she realized-- no, he was afraid. Afraid of losing her.

He knew what he did and he also was aware that y/n was not one to mess with. She was just as stubborn as he was and just as prideful. What she had seen had hurt her and it was only what she felt for him that prevented him from being mindlessly dismissed and removed from her life. She had not resisted him more forcefully because she cared, because the wound was still french and that meant that there was still a tiny hope left.

“That was before you fell for another woman. I can’t stand by and watch you be with her. You can’t ask that of me.” She whispered, meeting his eyes. No matter how much she loved him, that was simply something she was not willing to put herself through.

“That’s not what I’m asking. That’s not what's happening.” He pledged. Y/n didn’t know if it was a trick of the moonlight seeping in from her window but she saw his eyes well with unshed tears.

“Isn’t it?”

“It isn’t.” He insisted, his hand on your jaw holding it closer. “Alina is a pawn, Alina doesn’t know what is going to happen, she doesn’t know me.” Heaving a sigh, Aleksander held her face, his thumb caressing her cheek.

“There is no one on this earth that has ever seen me more clearly than you do, solnishko. I know what you saw, I know what it looked like because that was intentional. But I trust you to know the difference between what it’s really happening and what it looks like because they’re not the same.” His eyes were alive with an intensity y/n had only seen a few times before. He was ancient and he was skilled at manipulation amongst other things. She always tried to keep that in mind but now, looking at him, she couldn’t help but feel like he was being genuine.

Why would he want me near? There wasn’t an ulterior motive for wanting her by her side. Yes, she was the only one who knew about his plans but that wasn’t it. If it was, he would have simply killed her. Took less time than this. Also, y/n knew that the power was in her hands. If she said no, that she couldn’t do this anymore, she was sure that Aleksander would let her go.

“But the way you were looking at her, Aleks, I just-” a lump formed in her throat as she recalled the look on his face, “you’re spending more and more time with her and I can’t help but fear that- I mean she’s literally the embodiment of sunshine.”

“You’ve never seen the way I look at you, then.” Thumb trailing over her lower lip now, he gave her a weak smile. “I swear that there’s no one dearer to me than you.”

“I’m not sure I can’t stand the idea of you kissing and touching her, Aleksander, I’m sorry.” Y/n insisted as well because she knew him and she knew that the way she worded things was crucial.

“That won’t happen then.” He assured but she was still not fully convinced.

“I promise it won’t come to that.” So Aleks rephrased. It was better but still not good enough. But they could work on that surely.

“It seems to me though, that I have not done a good job at showing you what you meant to me. I need to reinforce it, don’t you think?” He proposed, using the hand on her face to pull her closer to him.

“I agree.” y/n mumbled on his lips before they smashed together. She didn’t wait for him to initiate the kiss. She thought she had lost him tonight and had already been trying to plan her life without him. She wasn’t willing to waste any more time. She was going to show everyone that he was hers and only hers so as not to leave any more doubts around them. Fuck gossip.

Propping herself on her elbow she used it as leverage to reach up to meet him. The hand he had on her face moved backwards to hold her head while her hand did the same in his hair. Both of them pulled the other impossible close, not willing to leave the smallest of spaces between them.

Sitting up, y/n used her other hand to first the lapel of his kefta. She quickly unfasted the buttons to get rid of it before she pushed him on his back.

“She thinks she has a chance, uh.” She taunted as she straddled his waist, roughly gathering her sleeping gown around her waist while his hands instantly shot up to rest on her hips.

“She thinks she’ll be as lucky as seeing you like this?” she continued, her hands caressing his naked chest, “that she’ll have the chance of touching you? kissing you?” she leaned down, one hand at the nape of his head to make him meet her halfway. It wasn’t a long kiss, she needed to make a point after all. Pulling away, she bit his lower lip earning a moan from him.

“To feel you like this?” she whispered in his mouth as her hips wiggled over his clothed member. His hands tightened his hold on her hips, pushing her down on it increasing the pressure.

“She’s delusional,” Aleks gasped as her mouth trailed kisses along his jaw and neck where it nipped and sucked.

“Mh,” y/n agreed, “let’s make sure she knows.” She promised before her mouth went back to sucking a few hickeys on his neck. Aleks only moaned and gave her more space to work on. His hands trailed up from her waist, cupping her breasts before playing with her nipples.

As her mouth lowered on his collarbone, Aleks decided that enough was enough. His hands roughly gripped the end of her gown before hastily pulling it up and off her body. One arm snaked over her waist pulling her flush against him as he sat up.

“Enough teasing,” he warned as the hand that wasn’t on her quickly discarded his undergarments.

“As you wish, moy sovregni,” she whispered sultrily on his lips knowing fully what effect those words had on him. Aleksander growled on her mouth, his hands kneading her ass cheeks as he gently lowered her on him.

Gasping as she felt every inch of him enter her, y/n gripped his shoulders as she started to move. Aleks’ hands guided her as she set a steady pace.

“She’s never going to feel your hands on her body,” she breathed as Aleks’ hips snapped up, setting a rougher pace.

“You’re mine.” She growled possessively on his lips as her hips met his.

“I’m yours, y/n. Just as you’re mine.” His tone matched hers. He sealed his promise with a bruising kiss. The trusting was becoming more and more frantic and Aleks’ could feel y/n clench around him.

With no previous warning, he lowered his hands from her ass to her thighs so that he could hold her while he changed their position. Guiding her legs to wrap around his waist, Aleksander leaned on his knees while he pushed her upper body down with his chest. Y/n gasped on his lips not knowing if it was for the movement, for the change of position that meant that he was now able to reach deeper than before or because she could feel her orgasm approaching.

Whatever the reason may be, Aleks swallowed her gasp as his lips refused to leave hers. Snapping his hips, he moved his hands from her legs. One went to stimulate her clit while the other choked her lightly. He knew that this combo would prove to send her over the edge. Not long after, as a matter of fact, he felt y/n’s nails on his shoulders as well as her walls tightening around him. He was not behind.

While y/n whimpered his name over and over as her orgasm hit her, Aleksander’s thrusts began to falter. With one deep thrust, he emptied inside her, obscene sounds leaving his mouth.

He leaned over y/n’s body, both of their breaths heavy, they basked in the afterglow. Aleks’ head rested over her chest, comforted by her steady heartbeat while y/n’s hands trailed over his back.

Once their breath had levelled and they could regain control over their limbs, Aleks propped himself over his elbow, his nose nuzzling y/n’s making her giggle at the soft touch. She loved these rare moments of softness and intimacy between them. If she could, she’d never let them end.

“I promise you’ll never have to doubt me again.”

“If you keep this up, it’d be impossible for me to.” She chuckled, referring to her limp body. She couldn’t trust her body to move. Sex with Aleksander always had this effect on her.

“Good to know I can still satisfy you.” He smirked as he leaned down for a small kiss. Giggling on his lips, y/n pulled him close, making him rest his weight on her rather than his elbow.

“I’m thoroughly sated, my love. You have nothing to worry about in that department.” Aleks couldn’t see her but could feel the smirk on her lips. Intertwining their legs, he got more comfortable on her. Her arms held him in a tight embrace.

“You’ll do well to remember it, dearest.” His voice came out muffled since his face rested between her breasts but y/n got what he meant anyway. Laughing at the idea that she could ever need anyone else, y/n held him closer to her chest. The embrace her form of a promise to him.

She had everything she’d ever need right here in her arms.