#i learnt doing this format on my own yay

[dontshutupplease]

as I said I'm not proud of myself

i won't stop doing these tho

[merakimousumi]

Re-introduce yourself

Our introduction is extremely structured and the flow has always a format irrespective of Nationality , culture or race.

As a child you are taught to say your name . Every time someone visits home or you are meeting someone, the excitement is to share your name. Yay ... joyous moment. Soon another step would be added once you are getting prepared for the schooling, your name, parents name and the place you live. Phew!! you must have been asked millions of times to master it . The game has just begun. Every-time another dimension will be added . Your school , standard, in case you are captain in sports , drama , magazine etc etc. Then by the age of 18 years, you will start mentioning your percentage of marks , your parents background, the certificates you hold . By the time you are being interviewed for your career, you are a bunch of certifications and degrees and nothing else.

Remember your first visiting card , that had your name, designation with that Company logo . Even in social functions you carry it and distribute them like toffees .

In case, you choose to become self employed you will put up website, your office board with your name, educational qualifications, credentials and the skills that you have and you would offer !!

Oh , if someone who choose to be a family person like my mother or my aunts then observe how they introduce themselves. I am so and so wife , my husband is so and so . Soon will get graduated to be the mother then she will add that she is mother of xyz kids .

No worries, I have done all . Here I am not going to ask to read Robert Adams , Ramanan Maharshi or Nisargadatta Maharaj . In very ordinary way let me prick you to get the momentary taste of the teachings of these beings.

I was in Singapore, it must be some eight years back or little more. After long day at work wanted to carry my dinner from the nearby Indian food joint which served nice vegetarian meals. I ordered and was waiting in the lobby there. Those days my phone addiction was not there , was looking around to the hustle and bustle of the night life of the place. It was my first visit alone in that city , the curiosity level was higher. The man sitting across seems to be waiting like me for his food pick up. When the eyes met , he bowed gently and smiled. I reciprocated, out of courtesy. My order came, he made a wave to me and I waved back . Simple over.

Next morning at the breakfast table in my hotel , suddenly someone knocks my table and I look up to see the familiar face of the last night . He smiled and asked if he can join the table, again out of courtesy I nodded. I prefer not to speak with anyone in the morning as ritual, my way of energy management for the upcoming day. Nonetheless here is a day where breaking the norm is all you have . He seem to me from south east Asia so was not sure of his age, their skin and overall structure camouflage the age process well . Still went ahead and predicted, must be in his late fifties or more. Soon he mentioned he is from Malaysia and is here on a conference. I quickly pasted my trademark smile on my face and nodded. When he asked what bought me in Singapore, I had to make an effort to say a word. I uttered ‘Work’ . He immediately mentioned by Company’s name, that was a surprise for me. Quickly noticed from my laptop bag hanged my ID card the logo peeping out. I smiled again. He mentioned how he has travelled worldwide and learnt so many things from different cultures. I heard all of them , nodding my head and occasionally saying few words ( read mumble). When his breakfast was over he was a fast eater or I was slow , he handed me his card. It just had his name, contact number and email. A golden shining card and in black ink those three things appeared . No logo , no designation, no company. This was different!! I must have been looking at the card with some astonishing manner that Mr Kheo ( Yes that was his name) came closer to my ears and said , I am not even those written words on the card. I was a while ago a person who spent a great time with you . Next moment I shall be one with someone else. My identity cannot be contained in a small piece . He winked , waved and was gone!!

I had no clue whatsoever he said and shocked with what happened at that moment. Yet I never got over the statement. Every time since then whenever there was an introduction, I always remembered Mr Kheo , because his introduction bought a discomfort yet I saw something, unexplainable joy in his eyes.

The thought that kept appearing within me , is it possible of being stripped of all the accomplishments and identities which he would have invested and acquired in lifetime, he was completely okay not to highlight. In the world when we are all looking to grab every bit of spotlight, he wants to be invisible. Did not make sense to me. He spoke perfect sense in his narrative in the breakfast, his articulation was impressive, well choosen words and sentences of expression, he was no ordinary. Yet and Yet !!

Much later in my years or rather recently the fragment of the introduction was becoming clearer in my life. Books , teachers explained the I AM. Who Am I !!

Here is a point , after reading hearing how do I implement . Unless I understand deeper within all those are simply intellectual. Who Am I ? The name appeared, my position, my relationship, my freaking everything appeared. I had to start from scratch. I started my introduction rather re-introduction and I could not , it was a struggle. Here Stubbornness nature comes handy, I do not easily give up.

It was like when you have invested a lot of time in making a something and you thought that its great, suddenly you realise all was a mistake, you keep doing the same mistake thinking that it will miraculously change to magic and success. It is not easy to erase it, too much ego is attached. My identity.....

I wrote my introduction the one which was taught, started writing my name , names of parents, my educational qualifications, my jobs that I did so far , positions I held , Cities I lived , the relationship I have and had , the houses that I own , the finance that I built so on , I made a list .

Then I took every line and questioned Am I that ? Paused, looked within, on the surface I was , waited soon it dissolved. I strike the moment I felt I was not . Every time I was striking I noticed the tremor in my hand and fingers, even there was a refusal. Striking my qualifications was tough followed by my relationships. I sensed my investment there . After few period all was canceled, I felt empty, naked as if someone has just robbed me of everything that I had ever gathered in my life so far. Tears rolled down , uncontrollably crying like a child gripped with the fear was being invisible. So much effort has been made to make myself visible and here I am erasing it all .

Mr Kheo and I stood at same space in that moment. I closed my eyes , experienced what could be the oneness the great teacher spoke about or is it much deeper, I am not sure yet I knew the joy within me. Who Am I ? I see the I and the I sees me. I am one .

Being empty is also being full. Empty of fear full of joy , the gift that we are all born with sometime lost in transit.

Even today when asked to introduce myself, I begin by saying my name is so and so and to earn my living I extend my service to xyz Company, I play the role of a daughter, sister, mother and friend along being colleague to many . Once you have understanding of that I AM , the framing of your sentences changes forever. In my corporate life I do sometimes have to follow the framework, yet I know my awareness is enough to make it impersonal. Once one has been in that rabbit hole, life is never be the same.

I know Mr Kheo would never know that what he offered on that breakfast table and here I am, forever grateful. A regret I carry that I was not careful of keeping that card that eventually transformed me, I could have written him my story too. The only was to give back is to share here and if anyone can find themselves, that would be my offering.

Today, start by reintroducing yourself.

[gumnut-logic]

okay so i have been having bad brain lately and struggling with life but i just took a deep dive into your ao3 to catch up on all your wonderful words and needed to let you know how brilliant you are (again) bc it’s been a while. thank you for writing the dentist. it’s such a beautiful heartbreaking story and you handled the mental health stuff so very tenderly and carefully and the way virgil’s brothers care so much and so differently, my heart just !!!! (1)

i know we’ll be home for christmas wasn’t my secret santa gift but it truly feels like it when you bless us with injured virgil and beautiful scenery and pure unadulterated fluff. what a beautiful world you have created. sotto voce is just. phenomenal. there are no words for how much it blows me away every time i reread. the prince who would be king?? i don’t normally read medieval stuff but this???? is everything!!! (2)             

shooting star hurts so much but in the best way, you are TOO GOOD to us. finally. i will stop soon dw, but listen, live, lie, laugh, learn & love??? honestly probably my favourite fic ever. i come back to it often and just weep every time because it’s a masterpiece and virgil is so perfect in it, i am just so in love with your writing style. every time you post i get a happy leap in my chest & i get inspired to write my own so thank you for making me love writing again. you’re the best xoxo (3)        

-o-o-o-

I woke up to these this morning and oh my god, I have just reread this so many times trying to work out how to do justice and answer such lovely words ::hugs you so much::

I really couldn’t have written what I have without this wonderful fandom to keep me going. You, in particular, have always been so encouraging and amazing to me, how can I not keep writing?  I stumble across your comments from time to time while rereading fic and they are just so encouraging ::hugs you madly::

I’m sorry to hear that life is being nasty to you ::offers you a Virgil to hug:: I hope things improve as soon as possible. ::more hugs:: I’m glad my fic helps just a little bit. I know I’ve used fanfic in the past to get through rough patches, so I’m really just returning the favour.

Regarding the fics you mention: (wherein Nutty babbles about behind the scenes of her fics)

The Dentist - My most recent actually started out as supposed to be funny, but I’m never in control of these things. I drew from my own phobic experiences (though not of dentists and certainly not caused like Virgil’s). I grew up in a, shall we say, unsympathetic environment to a sensitive child (I am sensitive to a whole bunch of things - side effect of my artistic abilities, I guess, has it’s up and down sides) and developed at least two phobias that messed with my life. The only thing I ask is if someone says they are scared of something, please respect that and assist them in working with it rather than mocking them. It may seem stupid, but the fear is real and terrifying. And yes, Scott Tracy, I’m looking at you - treat Brains with a little more respect, you arrogant flyboy. Not everyone has the same talents. Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading through what turned out to be a very emotional fic ::hugs you lots::

We’ll Be Home For Christmas - I feel Secret Santa is really a gift to everyone. We all enjoy reading each other’s fics and I’m so glad you are enjoying this one. This one has been magical for me. I have learnt so much researching it and I feel I’ve been on the voyage with the boys. Poor Virg, though, I had to injure him just to get the plot moving. I am so mean to him :D I will finish this fic. It has to be finished. I’m enjoying it far too much for it not to be finished. As to the world, I didn’t create it ::hugs:: The beauty of it is that it actually exists just north of New Zealand. I have watched so many videos of this amazing place, I will have to share when the fic is finished :D

Tales of Sotto Voce - This series will always have a big place in my heart as it impacted on my writing like no fic before it. I learnt so much and enjoyed it so much. I really need to finish The Price because John needs to have the last say in this saga and boy, does he have a lot to say. Thank you so much for rereading it. It is always wonderful to hear that my archived words are still being read ::hugs::

The Prince Who Would Not Be King - I’m a little scared of this one. It could essentially become a novel and it would be a steep learning curve for my writing skills. The amount of work involved is daunting and honestly it is tempting :D But not until I finish Shooting Star, We’ll Be Home For Christmas and The Hero :D It seems I can write things at the drop of a hat, in fifteen minutes, at lunch, before work, early in the writing piece, but each story gets to about the three-quarter mark and then I really have to start thinking hard to make sure I tie up all the loose ends and deliver what the story demands - this can’t be done at odd minutes, so gets relegated to time off work where I can focus, hence the delays. Plus my frickin’ muse often refuses to behave ::glares at it:: I’ll wrangle with it and will win eventually ::glares at it some more::

Shooting Star - I was looking at this one yesterday. I have the conclusion worked out, I’m just trying to segway into it. Muse wouldn’t co-operate so I wrote Together instead. This was supposed to be a simple Virgil-John chat fic. It blew up in my face. The emotions in this one just hurt. But I feel it is a conversation the boys had to have. Scott would not just leave his brother up there with a potentially murderous AI. There has to be a reason why it all worked out...and some how or other I now have to illustrate exactly that ::headdesk:: How do I get myself into these situations? But anyway, some more is written, I just have to make it work properly. Thank you for sticking with me as I stumble through my brain working things out :D

Listen, Live, Lie, Laugh, Learn & Love - I have always loved the 5 + 1 fic format, but had never written one. At this point I wasn’t sure I could finish such a challenging format (yeah, look at my long fics now, but back then I was terrified I didn’t have it in me). I also had no idea where the fic was going until about halfway through, was totally new to the fandom and to Virgil’s character and to this day still worry I bent his character oddly with the choir boy bit. It is true that canon Virgil has never sung on screen (that I’ve been able to discover) so this fic is possible, but I’ve never been entirely confident I pulled it off well. So yeah, lots of doubt hovering around this early piece, so your words mean ever so much to me, particularly about this fic ::hugs you lots::

But most of all, the best thing you’ve said in all this is that you are inspired to write. I couldn’t ask for more. There is never anything more wonderful than knowing I have helped another artist pick up a pen or brush or take that step to push their ideas out into the world. The world is so much better the more art and creativity unleashed upon it. The world is crazy about science and technology, but the truth of the matter is that art and creativity and innovation underpin everything our species has ever achieved. That and art can offer such relief from a crazy world that does not lend itself to the natural rhythms of life.

::grin:: I’m not a coffee drinker like the Virg, but you wanna see Nutty devolve into a similar bearhead to the sans coffee Virgil, just see what happens when I’m denied my creative time. You get fic cos Nutty needs to exercise her creativity everyday. It keeps me healthy. It comes in many forms and media, but at the moment it is writing and TAG and yay, lots of fic :D

Aaaand, I’m babbling. Apparently I like to talk about myself ::ducks head shyly:: Sorry :D

But thank you ever, ever so much for all your support. It means ever so much to me and the only way I can really express it is to write more fic. :D

Which reminds me - I do take prompts, do you have something in particular you would like me to write? I’ve just come up on my 100th TAG fic on Ao3 and I should celebrate. I don’t think I’ve written you a special fic. Would you like to make a request?

::Hugs you ever so madly and sticks marshmallows down your shirt::

Thank you so much for reading and being so kind and putting up with my crazy.

Nutty

(off the edge, learning to fly, ignoring that damned migraine I had this morning and worshipping the almighty paracetamol)

[justalittlemango]

Hmmm

So uh... I haven't posted on this Tumblr for a while. A few months by the looks of it? That last post was the beginning of this year. And now it's 20th August 2021.

So what happened? Also ugh the formatting on this site. Welp, my last post seemed to be a lot about my now-ex. I'll call him Tit as I think that's an appropriate name. So yeah, he did come back sometime after I wrote that post. He came back. He seemed to have been feeling better. It was nice to see him happy and things pretty much went back to how they were before, even better if anything. Sadly that was only temporary! Well, I say sadly. Sad at the time. I don't care these days.

Something happened, he lost it over me doing literally nothing. I knew he had problems with my mental health but I don't like to be accused of all sorts when all I try to do is help. I knew at that time, that was the calling point. Cutting off ties. Because my health both mentally and physically could not deal with everything he was putting me through. I cut him off. It felt sad but I knew I had to do it. And fast forward six months later, there's been no contact between us. Thank god.

So.. that was always fun.. I lost my friends who I had met through Tit. I knew that was coming as well. I can still be mad over that, but at the end of the day, who's side are they going to stick by? Mine (someone they've only known for a few months) or his (someone they adore and known for years even.) I guess the outcome here was kind of obvious. I wish I could say I didn't care it happened, but it did hurt me. When I was already going through so much hurt just seeing that was not nice. Thankfully I was never confronted before it happened, I was just swiftly deleted/unfriended/removed and that's that.

That was the second time in a 7/8 month span that I lost friends because of these love problems. So all in all? I'm pretty fucking tired of that happening lol. Anyway, these people are irrelevant now and no longer play a part in my life. So I just need to forget about them.

So did things get any better? Yes! I met someone new. My Dommy. I joined this server in attempt to make some friends and play games with (since the friends I once did that with departed..) so I thought I'd shoot my shot there. It started off okay, I was making friends and it was fun. I met Dommy in there. There was something that caught my eye about him when I would see him chatting and stuff. We spoke to each other through DMs for a bit and played games together. It was so much fun. And the more I got to know about him the more I was like ... My god ... Because I knew I was going to catch feelings for him. Everything he was telling me about himself just made the feelings grow more and more. Like he just kept ticking my boxes in what I seek in a partner.

At first I didn't wanna catch feelings, mostly due to the fact he's 18, and I was 23 (now I'm 24 so yay). I felt the age gap would've been too weird and I wouldn't usually consider anyone that's under 21 to be a potential partner. But god it was so hard to think like that when the more I learnt about him, the more these feelings kept growing. He just knew exactly what to say. His personality and everything. He's so fun and kind. So wholesome. Positive. I find him so relatable too. I definitely didn't expect this for someone who is quite frankly, fresh into adulthood. But here we are!

Heh, let's just say I tried to dim my feelings down. And it definitely didn't work. And I remember thinking at first like, oh god he wouldn't want feelings for me I'm like 5 years older than him LOLLL. But boy was I wrong! About a month after chatting and playing games together (quite frequently too) - he told me he had a crush on me. And I remember how great that felt. It felt so... fucking... amazing. To read everything he said to me. I really didn't think he'd feel that way.. I had my suspicions on somethings but they were more just me being overly hopeful. And of course, I had to tell him I crushed him back. I had the same feelings. And ever since then it just continually grows.

26th May we decided to become long distance boyfriends. We both felt ready for it. Every day and night I got to spend with him on voice chat was SO enjoyable. It was so much fun. The love kept continuing to grow and grow. The more he told me about himself, the more he truly sounded like my perfect man. My soul mate even! And he felt the same way about it all. And now we're so clingy and romantic for each other all the time and I LOVE IT!!

Fast forward to August. We still here. We hope to meet up soon. We surround ourselves with such positive romantic energy. Inspiring each other to be our best selves. Heck, we both got jobs just so we can buy stuff for each other and visit frequently. And that's where we're at. We're awaiting the day for when we meet.

I'm so grateful for him. He changed my life around. I hit rock bottom and he full on dragged me out. Showed me that I can still love. Supported me through everything. Even with everything that happened after my ex. He was there. And still today, with everything I went through.. he had my back.

I love him so much. With everything I have. To the end of days. I've never met ANYONE like him. My past relationships don't even come close to what he and I have. And the crazy thing? He feels the same.. this is just magical. See, it would be TOO good if we were living in the same country. But alas, I am UK, he is US.. a few thousand miles away. But you know what? I'm making it my goal that we'll live together. We talk about having a family, living together, going on so many dates and just doing everything together.

It's my goal. Ultimate. Life goal. I don't want to die without being able to hold him in my arms. And very soon I hope, I will be able to hold him, watch him fall asleep in my arms and whisper "I love you" right in his ear. I 100% trust him. I've never been able to fully trust anyone in my life before. Not my previous partners or anything. But my Dommy? I trust him with my life.

But are there any issues?

Nope. Not really. Sometimes I still feel a lil weird about the age gap. I'll be meeting my boyfriend who's 18, as a 24 year old.. doing lovey things lol. Sometimes I worry about what others think about that, mostly his family. My family know about it and they think it's fine, as with my friends. I hope his family are the same! I mean, it's only 5 year difference. It's not that much at all. I just overthink it and it's a ridiculous thing to overthink! Because he is my soulmate. If anybody has a problem with it, then they'll have to deal with it. Cause I ain't going anywhere. And neither is he 😏 actually I think he'd get more sassy at them than I would!

But yeah. Uh. Anything else? Not really. He's a busy lad but I love that for him. He does so much for his family. He can do so much. Working, driving, going to college.. I'm so proud of him! And I think from what I know from his childhood, he deserves to have all these nice times with his family. So no, there are no issues between us. We have never even argued yet! And I couldn't imagine arguing with him.

So I hope next time I write here.. I'd have met him in person. And experience that. It would be the best day of my life.

____

Anyway! How am I? I'm fine right now. I'm struggling a bit because I have no money left. Kinda annoyed I spent my travel moneys on myself (because I had to.) I hope that issue will be sorted next month when I get my student loan, and hopefully this job that I interviewed for yesterday! Interview lasted over an hour and I'm only competing against one other person. So.. if I get that.. the money gonna be sweet. And you already know I'll be investing in travelling to see my Dommy!

But I also want to try to do my driving lessons. Get my own groceries again and my weight gain stuff because my body is far too skinny! I want to try and get a gym membership too while I'm at it. I say all this, but where the heck am I gonna find the time to do all this? Especially as a full time student! But I think we got this. Driving lessons aren't urgent, and even so they wouldn't take long if I do lessons in an auto. Since I've driven before. So maybe I'll only need 10 lessons.

I want to go the gym and build my body a little bit. Look a bit more in shape for when I see my boy hehehe.

So yeah, lack of money is my main issue here. I can't afford to go out and get my own food and supplements. So until I get my moneys, my mood is going to be patchy. It'll be worth the wait though if things go all out to plan.

Anything else on my mind? Well.. being back here in B'ham! I don't particularly feel safe here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back with my parents. And not have to pay rent on a student house.. but that does come with some negatives... Quite a few negatives. These being.. lack of privacy, not being able to make a lot of noise late at night, not feeling safe in the city, issues with bathroom/showers, and the god forsaken slow internet.

Positives though? Being with my parents, in the big city where everything is, good stores and nightlife. Few friends are here. Though not too many I'm interested in seeing. Lol. I guess I'm in the middle of everything too so if I wanted to travel out of city to see someone , I have the option to do so.

So.. yeah! A lot more good than bad going on right now and thank god. Because how this year started was awful. It was literally the hardest time of my life to get through it. And everything that happened in the summer, I'm so grateful for. And my Dommy. I'm so happy he came into my life. I feel honoured and blessed to be in a relationship with him.

I hope things go to plan. I'm in my last year of university, and will be graduating next year. So that should be exciting! And then I have plans to study at BCU next year to do a master degree in UX! Which is exactly the kind of thing I want to get into! So that's a good two years of a steady income from student finance, and hopefully this part time job! So fingers crossed these plans will work out.

Those are my goals that I see in the distance. Travel to see my boyfriend, graduate and get onto that post-grad course! My short term goals. Oh and also get a part time job. Lol. My long term goals is to honestly.. immigrate to the US. I know it sounds wild. But it's what I want. I need to be with my boyfriend. Start a life with him. And spend the rest of my life with my Dommy. I don't know when I'd ever be able to live with him.. but let's just say you need to have a strong background to be accepted as a US citizen. But with the plans I got...it should work! Having a master's degree and hopefully someone will hire a UX designer from the US and sponsor me! With some luck.

How long do I think that would take? Probably sometime within the next 5 years.. I hope. If I'm lucky! And interesting to think, in 5 years I'm 28, and my boyfriend will be 23! Which I think is the perfect time in both our lives to find a place together to live and be happy.

I feel with that, being away from my parents via long distance is going to be VERY difficult. But I'd try my best to visit them for a month or so. And of course, I still want to support them even if I am living abroad.

Ok. Here is the end of the post. I hope I don't look back at this in a few months and laugh. I know not all of this will work out, but I hope most of it will! So yeah, here's to the future! To good health, happyness, and my boyfriend of course ;)

-mangiiii

[topicprinter]

Hey fellow /r/entrepreneurs! I’ve written up a small case study of my product and it’s “failure” (Yay! You can learn what mistakes not to do). Hope you enjoy.Flashback.So in January 2016, whilst playing a game of poker, an epiphany occurred. Seeing all the designs on a deck of cards, I thought they’d be cool to color and from that moment on, PlayingColor was born. Furthermore, as this was my first project and I was on college holidays, time and curiosity was aplenty.Well, to start the deck, I needed a designer. I was willing to do it myself but I felt someone else would be better. So instead of searching for an established and professional designer, I went over to a friend and asked her to do the deck. She said sure…. Sweet! What could go wrong?LESSON 1. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR AND DON’T MIX IN YOUR FRIENDSWhat my naivety failed to realize was that she’s also in college and working and partying… and my project was going to take fourth place. Oh boy was her designs delayed. A request of 52 beautifully unique and intricate Mandalas ended up taking nearly 4 months to draw… (I should’ve really saved that time and hired a faster professional designer). Furthermore, since we were friends, I couldn’t really fathom of being harsh. My mistake. Also I forgot to implement a stringent deadline. Another mistake.LESSON 2. CHINA ISN'T ALWAYS CHEAPERAs the cards were sloooooooowly being designed, I was busy searching for suppliers. I always thought that China = Cheap and as a result, I began searching for Chinese manufacturers (I’m located in Australia). The issue was that the card stock I needed had to have 1-side coated and the other to be uncoated. This was surprisingly a tall order for most Chinese and even US card manufacturers. Other issue was that US and China were giving me Minimum Order Quantities of 2,000 for $10k to print. I just didn’t have that amount of money to spend. Luckily, I found one manufacturer in China and ordered a deck.LESSON 3. MAKE SURE YOU CLARIFY AND TRIPLE CHECK EVERYTHINGSo the deck came from China. They promised and assured me that I could draw on the colored side. Nope. As well, the long shipping made me lose another 3 weeks. Fuck. I should’ve requested a paper sample. My mistake.LESSON 4. CHINA ISN”T ALWAYS CHEAPERI then went looking for any local suppliers in Australia and BEHOLD, it was actually cheaper to find a local supplier. Albeit, the first deck arrived and it was perfect. Finally! A fantastic box supplier in US and an Australian card manufacturer. I now have a product… but how do I sell it?Marketing TimeLesson 5. DON”T BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR PRODUCTPretty self-explanatory but you see, when I created the deck, I realized no one had such an idea before. GOLD MINE! WHY SHOULD I TELL ANYONE? THEY MIGHT STEAL IT! I kept quiet about it (seriously, it wasn’t a goldmine and I should’ve been testing the concept earlier). I felt the idea was definitely going to be stolen. Unfortunately, only thing stolen was my logic and common sense. As a result, my initial marketing and customer research suffered. I actively started using Instagram and posting content about coloring and similar styles/designs to my cards but never actually revealed the product till the last moment. Big mistake. Sure the content I was posting made my account look pretty but for the actual purpose of my business, quite useless. Also, without showing and dabbling with my audience, I never really found out what consumers wanted or cared about coloring and specifically, my coloring playing cards. BIG MISTAKE.Lesson 6. DO MARKET RESEARCHI did none. I suffered. I assumed they’d love it. Assumed. To make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'. And as a result of failing to discover the exact needs and the specific people that’d be interested, I lost out a whole new understanding for my product and obviously made my marketing attempt suffer.Lesson 7. DON”T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR LOGOLogo Styles I experimentedI wasted a long time doing this. Trust me. It’s not worth it at the start. Unless you’re relaunching a new P&G product, your 600 followers won’t care that much. Use your time for something else.Lesson 8. PEOPLE ARE STUPID. SPEAK STUPIDSo when I finally revealed the product leading up to my Kickstarter, I was met with a warm response and I decided to ump the marketing. I made a simple giveaway on my site where people had to submit their email and in return, they’d get 5 free coloring card PDF’s. Simple right? Nope. Under the “Please Put Your Email Here”, I had more than 35 submissions of people putting the word “Email” in there….Wonderful.I had people message my FB Page stating they got a virus called BMP. I had to explain to them it was a file format. I even had a lovely lady ask me if I could help her find the PDF files she downloaded on her computer. Albeit, I made mistakes by creating lead generation pages and giveaways that required more than 3 steps…. Something that many couldn’t do. Oh well. When I dumbed it down, results started happening and my mailing list started to grow.Lesson 9. BE REAL. SORTA…To connect with many other colorists on FB and get a feel of the market, I made a fake FB account of our brand personality and interacted with them through all the tight-knit FB coloring groups. This is something I highly recommend for you to try. The connection and support I made was valuable for the Kickstarter that was coming up.Kickstarter TimeLesson 10. MAKE SOME NOISEI was quiet for Kickstarter. I figured that I’d just rely on my FB personality sharing the announcement and my posts on Instagram alerting about it. I believed I had a fellowship already strong enough for Kickstarter which was sort of true, but having more fans, more money and more interest is always better. I could’ve done so much more by seeking PR, Journalists or even paid recommendations from influencers. But no I didn’t.Anyway, raised my $3k for PlayingColor and had enough to purchase a decent order to minimize my costs. Everything after went well though I planned to send these cards early November, the manufacturer screwed up the order and backlogged it till early December…. Meaning I missed out on Christmas. Not fun. But with all the delays throughout the year, I was just desperate for something to come soon.Lesson 11. TEST PRICING.One startling issue with PlayingColor was its location in Australia. Our main market was the US. To send a deck over there costs $7USD. Starting to see the problem? Because of shipping, selling a deck + shipping appeared extortionate to my customers and my demand flailed heavily. I ran numerous campaigns on FB and Instagram but sales were slow. People weren’t happy paying $14 for a deck of cards.Lesson 12. ONCE YOU COMMIT. COMMIT.Another issue arose in the start of this year. See, I got an internship/college opportunity to go to US for 6 months which I accepted. However, my spare time for PlayingColor quickly eroded. When I left to US, I took all the decks I had with me and tried selling it (albeit lazily) in US. I tried to run numerous FB advertising with no luck. Only one advert converted to sales but it just wasn’t financially working out for me. As well, with Kickstarter, I bought an order that supplied me with enough cards to last a short time (I was hoping sales would skyrocket and I’d buy a bigger order) but I was wrong. Here’s the example of our profits (not including Kickstarter). Just sales directly from Shopify and not from market stalls or other avenues.November $120.90 December $154.40 January $175.87 February $281.48The issue was that in February, my stock was down to 16 decks. I had to reorder but I wasn’t willing to. I managed to find a few quality suppliers in US for both the boxes and the cards but I knew deep down I wouldn’t have enough time to balance all my commitments. Furthermore, I’ll be going back home to Australia and I’d have to find a fulfillment company to ship and make the product competitive. I failed the product.Now, with my soon-graduation, changing employment and a health issue, this all has culminated in putting me out of action and destroying all my interest in PlayingColor. So that’s the story of my PlayingColor experience....Though, as I sit now thinking whether to sell or just end the company, I can’t help but be proud of the experience I’ve had. It’s been totally worth it with all the new knowledge and skills I’ve developed. As well, looks fantastic on the resume ;)If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I leave you with this quote “Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

[zedecksiew]

“I Learnt That Stories Travel” - Gina Yap Lai Yoong on live storytelling.

(In 2017, I plan to read, look at, and talk to more Malaysian creators. Though that isn’t me in the header image. That’s Gina and Zamil Idris, at a “Songs & Stories” event.)

~

The prolific novelist Gina Yap Lai Yoong is not just a novelist.

She is also one half of a long-term project called “Songs & Stories” - which combines text, video, and live music and storytelling to offer Malaysians all around the country a chance to experience each others’ narratives.

In this post - part two of a three-part interview - I get Gina to tell me why she’s on this nation-building exercise, and why she loves the live storytelling format so much.

~

(“The Kinabalu Call” was “Songs & Stories” ’s first video piece, made in the wake of the Mt Kinabalu earthquake.)

Your current project, “Songs & Stories”, is a collaboration with singer Juwita Suwito. What’s this all about?

“Songs & Stories” is an initiative to discover inspiration in every day people and places in Malaysia.

Juwita and I used to travel (separately) to different places, conducting workshops and performing. We would return and tell our friends about the stories from our travels, the nuggets these different communities shared with us.

Last year, we decided to collaborate – Yay! No more solo travelling – so we can bring these stories to a wider audience, through videos, photos and the written word.

We go to a local community – normally outside of Klang Valley – conduct our respective workshops and / or performances, and while we are at it we spend some time with the locals, to dig out their stories.

Are people eager to speak? How do they react to you quizzing them, and using their stories?

A lot of people think they don’t have a story. But when I start asking them questions, or reveal my own stories, they start to talk and talk and talk.

Then I go home and write their story for them. When all is written, I go back to them, so they can read what I’ve written. As they read their story, I sit at the edge of my chair, anxiously waiting for their reaction, hoping that I've given their story the weight it deserves.

More often than not, I receive positive feedback and it becomes part of their life story – which is truly fulfilling for me. As a writer, I believe in lending words to those who can't or find it difficult to express themselves through words. To be able to give them that voice makes it all worthwhile.

And then, to be given the permission to share their stories with others, that’s what being a storyteller is all about.

(Juwita Suwito and Gina.)

As part of “Song & Stories”, you and Juwita perform live music and storytelling sessions outside the Klang Valley. Why tour to all these far-flung towns?

I’m a grass-roots person. Whether it is story-gathering or storytelling, I believe it all begins at a grass-roots level. The Internet may hold a world of information, but nothing beats listening from the horse’s mouth.

I like to go to places and meet local people, to listen to their stories. Then I re-tell these stories to other communities. Amazing how, when we know more about others, it clears us of our assumptions about them, and we learn to love them more.

Besides, there is more than enough negative-vibe-spreading on social media. Let’s bring in hope and love – through inspirational stories of Malaysia’s unsung heroes and unnoticed treasures.

You can call it a nation building initiative. I believe, by engaging at this level, sharing our stories with more people, we will begin to love one another as fellow Malaysians.

As a writer, I’m terrified about in-person, verbal storytelling! How did you get into it?

I didn’t intend to step into the world of storytelling.

In 2013 I spent a few weeks in a student hostel in Pitas, Sabah – the poorest and most underdeveloped district in Malaysia. I went about story-gathering as usual, talking to locals and spending time with them every day.

The folks didn’t talk much. So, to fill up the awkward silence, I told stories about myself. I was at the football field, under a tree, telling a student about my schooling experience. Then her friends came, and their friends came, and their neighbours came.

The next thing I knew, I was telling stories to a whole group of youths.

(Storytelling session at a girls’ dorm in Pitas.)

It happened with a group of housewives too. I was helping the hostel’s neighbour to cook lunch – she had to care for five young children – and we chatted. I told her stories about my mom and grandma. Then a neighbour swung by, to take something and she stayed to listen to my stories. When I returned to help her out the next day, a group of housewives was waiting for me.

It was storytelling at the kitchen during cooking time, and storytelling at the field in the evenings throughout my stay.

What was your takeaway from that experience?

What surprised me most is how fast the stories travelled. In Pitas, I heard people sharing my stories to others in the morning market. The next thing I knew, other villages around us had heard of the stories – within 48 hours!

I learnt that stories travel – and there’s power in that.

After I got back from Pitas, I started to do more storytelling. Wherever I went. At first, was as spontaneous as it was in the village: telling stories to friends, at casual parties and gatherings.

Then it became more formal. I got invited to tell stories onstage, at private functions, schools and events. It gave me the jitters – still does.

Until today, I still prefer the casual style of storytelling in the village, because it comes with fewer expectations, and allows me to be me. No high-tech audio system or visual aids. Just me and my voice and my stories. Almost like a penglipur lara, in the older days.

(Local community, Pitas, Sabah.)

What is the best part about live storytelling?

The best part about live storytelling:

It’s when the listeners come up to you after the storytelling session and thank you for inspiring them to think differently, act on their dreams, or feel less alone.

~

Thanks, Gina! Also check out “Songs & Stories” ’s latest video series: “Warisan Sandakan”.

[miss-becca]

it’s week 12 out of 15 now. 3 more weeks of university, and 3 days per week. these numbers seem to accurately track where i’m at in my exchange year, but the last 9 weeks could never be simplified into a class schedule. nor could they ever be adequately portrayed by listing out the places i visited, the events i attended and the sights i saw. these things tend to be the reflexive go-to answers when someone asks me how the exchange lifestyles is treating me. they’re the experiences that are the most easily relatable, the ones that fold up neatly into a box, convenient and complete and conversational. this year i’ve learnt that the reality of exchange is neither convenient, nor complete nor good fodder for small talk. and i guess that’s the reason my writing is so much focused on what i do; just like with my huge pile of university assessment which i haven’t started, i’d rather begin by chipping at the easiest job. so i’ll pick up where i left off.

4th november: machikane festival

the biggest annual(?) festival of osaka university, i was super impressed by the level of effort which the students dedicated to this event. from the big entrance arch to the signs of the food stalls to the performances of jugglers, singers, dancers and bands, right down to the smaller details of everyone’s energy and smiles, my own university’s orientation week event really seems lacking in comparison.

following up the pleasant day by walking ishisbashi with a friend (thanks for coming all the way out!) and then eventually ending up roaming the streets of umeda was perfection. uptown osaka never ceases to surprise. who knew there could be a shrine (temple? oh dear..) hidden right in the middle of the shopping street?

5th november: kifune jinja

what a beautiful place, and it would never have been possible without our local tour guide (thank you for inviting us!). the kifune jinja is located up in the mountains, not too close to the city area of kyoto. though most famous for the steps out the front of the shrine, it was the lead up to that climax which made the experience. it was freezing cold, but the water-top lanterns and restaurant lined streets were just wow. worth.

13th-14th november: hiroshima and miyajima

coming back here as a school trip was really a nostalgic rollercoaster. missing the friends i’d visited hiroshima with before but trying to be in the moment was a difficult balance. however, there were new things to be experienced this time. my attention was shifted away from my wallowing self-pity when we had an atomic bomb survivor share her story.

the effects of the bomb were further and wider than i had imagined. when i visited the museum last time, i was choked up by the sight of the remnants of children’s clothing or bento boxes or even hair and nails put on display. there were stories of people who had died years after the explosion from leukaemia or other cancers caused by the radiation. what i didn’t think of was that people could possibly still be suffering directly from it. that children of the survivors could be carrying health problems caused by a war they didn’t fight. that people would discriminate against them. that there would be shame in admitting where they were from and what their parents had gone through.

it’s humbling to see the city now, a memorial of those who were harmed and a people who stand up for the banning of nuclear weapons.

miyajima was exactly as i remembered it, with an extra dash of colourful leaves. the oysters were fresh and the company was fresher.

hall of remembrance

view from our tatami room

dinner

miyajima again

the reddest tree i saw all season

miyajima’s famous oysters

thanks for the ice cream and beer!

lunch

20th and 23rd november: kyoto trips for days

november is the season for seeing japanese momiji (the red leaves), and kyoto is apparently the place to be. so we went again, once to the fushimi inari and another time to (almost) settsu-kyo. ;)

fushimi inari

so much of this

and so many steps

outside settsu-kyo

this was my favourite

and then kyoto city

25th-28th november: tokyo disney

this heading speaks for itself – その週休み、本当にありがとう！一緒に遊びはめっちゃたのしかった！the theme parks are so aesthetic, and i adore the fast pass system they have going.

disneysea

the aesthetics of this place was really something else

and the food was really not bad either

perfectly christmassy too

nabe for dinner to counter the freezing cold

disneyland

breadcones. what a world we live in.

aiba from arashi’s family restaurant was closed when we got there…

tokyo skytree

cake with kazuma and soki to end the trip!

2nd-5th december: okinawa

  okinawa airport greeted me with an aquarium

the bay by my airbnb room

nearly got hit by a car taking this but yay pretty street

okinawa soba – looks really chinese

shuri castle

this tree needs to teach me how to lay down roots

the view from the top

had to take this 20 times to get it somewhat right

hi duck

mango and cherry softcream

accidentally walked all the way down this path and had to consequently walk all the way back up

but there were pretty flowers!

got lost and walked down this pretty road too

the bay at night

kokusaidori – biggest shopping street in naha

taco rice and a live performance as background music

streets were somehow dead by 8

visited the pottery museum with my airbnb host

pottery street

the hole at the top of the vase is in the shape of okinawa island

meow

last meal before leaving naha

first meal with bae and the fam

first time i enjoyed eating goya (bitter melon)

also ate some raw horse

heading to the most famous aquarium of japan!

hello mr. lobster

wishing i was 12 again so i could jump on this beauty of a playground

this boasted being the biggest viewing glass of 2002 hahahah

super needy fish clinging onto a turtle

goya farm

pineapple farm – look at the tiny pineapples thoughh

literally sashimi for days

pretty rock formation

the sign nearby said beware of venomous snakes, but the view was nice

display of the old kingdom of ryukyu

8th december: kobe luminarie

神戸ルミナリエ was an event i somehow heard about right at the beginning of this exchange year, so naturally i was pretty stoked to go. because of sickness (post-okinawa blues), i thought i’d miss out on it, so i was ecstatic to have a friend in kobe agree to meet me and see the lights (yay thank you!). somehow, the evening was beautifully warm and uncrowded, and the show greeted us with some sweet, sweet music too. ;)

from a nearby skyscraper

10th december: christmas usj

this was by far the most crowded day of usj i’ve been to, and oh my word there were so many people i almost couldn’t breathe. we didn’t go on any rides, and only saw one or two shows, but we won a giant snoopy plushie!

yay tree!

tree at night!

dinner at one of my favourite restaurants and snoopyyy

14th december: my first jazz gig

this was. amazing. i was a little nervous walking into a tiny bar alone, but damnnn. misa’s incredible voice (thanks for inviting me!) and the most amazing jazz pianist ever, all wrapped into a lovely christmas night, with a bonus of being able to touch the piano at the end too. :D

23rd-28th december: reunions in the philippines

admittedly, this trip to the philippines entailed very little time spent actually seeing the lovely city of manila. instead, i was spoilt left, right and centre by my hosts (thank you so much for having me!), attending christmas dinners (and just a lot of food related events in general) and meeting families who have now become like family to me. and oh my word don’t get me started on the festive light displays. we spent hours touring neighbouring streets, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the wonderland which we somehow found ourselves in. as facebook has kindly informed everyone, leaving this country was tough and tearful. there’s so much more i want to see, and so many more people i want to meet, and so much family i want to spend more time with – somehow in 6 days, this country transformed from foreign into another kind of home. <3

dawggggg

so many pretty lights in this city

and a casual venice replica

dinner with my new bear family

29th-31st december: mie, ise and kyoto

i was saved from my post-philippines blues by vince coming to see me from korea. ending the year with a road trip to somewhere new with him and my very first friend in japan was absolute perfection. we hit up the nabana no sato illuminations in mie before traveling down to the ise jingu, and finally stopping by the kyoto aquarium on the way to our new year countdown in karaoke bar. めっちゃ笑った、めっちゃ寝た、めっちゃ楽しかった！そうきありがとう〜！嬉しいだよ！

なばなの里

yay reflected trees!

and the light tunnel oh my..

a movie made up of thousands of strings of led lights

the autumn tunnel

outside the ise-jingu

scored front seats to this show outside an udon store

the front of the jingu

somehow booked out the cutest log house for the night

the interior is even cuter

sleeping in the loft

nabe to help us through a cold night

yay kyoto tower

all the joyous in-betweens

then there were uncountable precious moments just in my darling osaka which made the school times more than bearable even when tiredness was overwhelming.

my favourite andyy

tart date #1

after uni/work dinners with soki :D

minami senri park – autumn edition

tart date #2

saizeriya tiramisu :D

care package from melbourne (THANK YOU NUG)!

more after uni/work dinners

and desserts

pie date with the tart date girls <3

gudetama cafe date with my fellow canberrans

first nabe and kotatsu experience ever! thank youu! ^_^

truly the last two months of 2016 were filled with magic and ever-more love from the people around me and not around me. i saw so many places i didn’t expect to see, and spent time with people who i can now count among my most treasured humans. exchange is infinitely more than i could have ever expected, and if so many things could have happened in the last two months, then so much more is also waiting for me in the next two. sometimes i have to remind myself of this to rescue myself from the weight of the impending ending (oops that got a little too real).

but anyhow, this brings us to 2017. it will be the year of returning, of (hopefully) hard work and some australia travels and (more hopefully) out-of-australia travels. i’m scared and excited and sad and super looking forward to the new joys and memories and friendships which are waiting to be experienced!

happy new year! 明けましておめでとう！新年快樂！may we all look forward to a 2017 filled with abundant blessings! <3

day #288: what words can’t describe it's week 12 out of 15 now. 3 more weeks of university, and 3 days per week.