#i kown because i tried

[dominoblues]

Seto Kaiba's personality is so too complex that every personality test fails miserably in deciphering him.

[luminisworld]

THE TALE OF TWO SERAPHIMS SYNPHONY

Chapter 11: The war part 3 beaf between two Sins.

Narrator POV:

There was a reunion where everyone was, including Cain It seems like they place where they were, all of the humans thats now live in the human world called "Hell", It also seems that they were not considered angels anymore, they now were called *Demons*, Mammon made a propose about how to incrise their numbers and that was the lower Demons went to the human world disgise as human and have kids with those humans, at first It seems reasonable but the Lucifer stated that those Demons may not be as strong as a pured demons, so Lucifer propose that between them having kids so those Demons can grow stronger, The majority went for the idea of Lucifer but a few decided to use Mammon's idea instead, Some now *Sins* decided to use Lucifer ideas too, excep for Mammon and Asmodeus Who were not gonna have any kids, much less with anyone that they don't know like the others wanned, Lucifer tried to convice them that they can have one kid between them and that was all, He just got Scream at his face by Mammon and Asmodeus Who were more than angry about that proposal, if they are gonna have kids they Will have then after the war, and that was it.

Mammon was really enreaged so he ask for Satan to train a bit to let out everything that he has, they Battle between eacht other for hours, they didn't even noticed that Asmodeus was waching them, for some reasong, now Satan seem to have lays eyes on Ozzie, but he was just waching Mammon, in Ozzie eyes mammon not only became stronger but also really more sexy, his body was now build like a warrior, like he was, he loved being hug by those arms, fuck when he became so in love for Mammon, when Mammon noticed Ozzie he just get close to him and started to flirt with him, giving him kisses in the arm and varius complements about him.

Mammon:" Well well well, but why is such beautiful creature here looking at me."

Asmodeus:" *scoff* I don't know, Maybe because i love seeing you, specialy without a shirt"

Mammon:" is that so? Well my Dear, It's not the first time, and surely It won't be the last"

Ozz was just flustered and was letting out a light blue smoke because he was Happy, But Satan was not Happy about this, so he propose something.

Satan:" Hey Mammon!"

Mammon just let an annoying huf and look at Satan Who was smiling.

Mammon:" what do you want, you still don't have enough."

Satan:" he, nop, and i got a proposal for you and Asmodeus."

Asmodeus:" Me?"

Mammon glared at Satan not liking where this is going.

Mammon:" what would that proposal be if i may ask?"

Satan:" Ok, Ozz."

Asmodeus:" Yeah?"

Satan:" If i win this Next Battle, you have to be mine this night, but if Mammon wins you just stay with him like always."

Asmodeus/Mammon:" What the fuck!"

Mammon:" Look you absolute Asshole! Asmodeus is mine you Heard MINE! He's my husband even if we're not married yet."

Asmodeus:" Yeah! what the absolute fuck is your problem?."

Satan:" oh come on, what is It Mammon are you scared because you know you're gonna lose?"

Ok that was It Mammon just get closer to Satan, look at him in the eyes.

Mammon:" Scared? me? Do you remenber what i did Up there? Do you think i wouldn't kill you for what you just said? He. Is. MINE! But if a fucking fight is what you want, is fight what i'm gonna give you!"

And so Mammon and Satan put themself in position, Asmodeus knew what was gonna happend and he didn't kown if he was more scared for Satan winning or if he endedup dead, but he couldn't think much more before the battle started.

At first Satan was confident about himself, but that give a really bad turn when he didn't notices that Mammon already was in his face and punch him on the stomach, he went flying for a few metters but then he composed himself and he did the same to Mammon, but there was a diference, Mammon was in for Blood and Satan didn't notice, the only one that noticed this was Ozzie, but he was just gonna intervine if It goes out of hands, and so for a few minutes Mammon and Satan where trowing hands and punchs and kicks and bites at eacht other, sudently Mammon started to used his powers, so did Satan when he Saw him, they went back and forth using all of his powers but then Satan recived a fatal blow at his back, whose wings still didn't grow back he let a laud Scream before he was pinned in the ground by Mammon, he felt like he was gonna die right there, but no, Mammon let him there in the ground and he just let a growl.

Mammon:" And if you ever try to get close to Asmodeus again belive me, that time i'm not gonna be so merciful"

Mammon said and spat at Satan in the face, humiliating him, and in the end Mammon got colse to where Asmodeus was and he just kiss him, the both of them left leaving Satan in absolute shame.

[jellyfishloveletterghosts]

I love the HC because it's so funny just imagine how the conversation is like:

'I think we should break up. Me and you—it's just not gonna work out.'

'No.'

'No?'

'No, I refuse.'

'Wtf? You can't refuse. I'm the one ending it. We're no longer in a relationship.'

'Sorry no. That's not how it works.' And he just walks away leaving Billy in disbelief like

'?? That is how it works??', but no one is there to hear him anymore and the whole time he doesn't have a set emotion because that interaction sent him into a spiral. And later on he thinks he's going to Steve's house that night to clear the whole thing again because somehow he thought maybe something just wasn't clicking only to be sitting on Steve's windowsill in another spiral because the boy said, " I want you to ruin my life."

And from there they just keep dating and it's crazy because this boy wants him around and he is ruining his life but in the way where he just pushed himself in even more and made a permanent spot in Billy's life and Billy doesn't know how to handle that but it's going.

Or something like that..😂 I wanted to share it with you though because I couldn't stop thinking about that whole thing lmao

Afforment HC

Anon, yes, yes and thank you for sharing absolutely! 

Billy goes there all angst ready to end things and be miserable without Steve. He has absolutely no idea what to do when Steve just refuses. No idea how to respond to Steve saying no to breaking up. Stands there mouth open as Steve pecks him on the cheek and tells him he'll see him at seven for dinner. 

He stands there long after Steve leaves, in shock before the array of emotions starts kicking in so hard it makes him light headed. Disbelief because what? Annoyance because he likes having the last word. Warm and fluttery in the gut, heart beating hard against his ribs  because he tried to end it and Steve wants to keep him. Anger because now he has to go try and give Steve his little break up speech again. Mostly he's still all sad and angst though, he just wants Steve to end up happy and Billy honestly doesn't think he can make Steve happy. 

He shows up fifteen minutes late hoping to piss Steve off and make him a little more accepting of their impending break up. Except he's a dumbass and Steve 100% knows what he's doing, dinner isn't even ready yet he was expecting Billy to try harder than this, just grinning wide and pretty when Billy gets there mouth all twisted down in a frown. He loses his nerve until after dinner because he's not about to pass up one last meal cooked by Steve. 

Beer in hand across from Steve on the couch he tries again. Not that it gets him anywhere Steve isn't letting him get away. He kown Billy loves him, knows he wouldn't be here trying to break it off if he didn't and Steve isn't giving him up. Steve honestly loves it when Billy ruins things, Billy standing up to his parents and ruining dinner is one of his favorite things. But everything Billy thinks he's ruining is in his head Steve doesn't have such high ideals of himself but he knows arguing it with Billy won't work so he just straight up refuses. 

Billy just tries over and over and Steve keeps answering no with a sweet honest smile before he finally gives his final answer. "I want you to ruin my life big guy, I want you to ruin it for the rest of my life. So no we're not breaking up, come upstairs when you're ready for dessert." And like Billy wants desert he always wants desert but he needs to compose himself because once again he's spiraling through emotions and hearing Steve put it that way is a lot to process. He smokes one two three cigarettes before he gets a handle on his feelings and heads upstairs to find his future. 

Billy adjusts to it all slowly realizing Steve’s slid into his life so thoroughly and honestly Billy would be lost if Steve had accepted him breaking up with him that day.

Thank you for sharing. I love it, like Billy is just an angst angry sad boy and he would end up being so lost without Steve who's never been happier.

Thank you again for sharing with me 💜💜🥰

[doctortwhohiddles]

Let the butthurt continue. For someone claiming that reading comprehension is great thing, Gatorshit sure needs to brush up on hers.

Sophie could have talked Ben into considering/auditioning for the role. And why couldn't she have an influence on what roles Ben tries for? She's his wife ffs. I see that Gatorshit and her anons are still pissed they don't have a say in his life. Why would Ben listen to his wife and not them? I don't know, maybe because unlike the septics, Sophie actually does care about her husband.

But that's not the only thing that riled up the septics as you can imagine.

Yes, this was done to thwart the haters. Nowhere did Ben said he stayed in character at all time during the shoot. No one with an ounce of functioning brain thought that. Except of course for the septics who are desperate to prove that his wife and kids weren't with him.

Ben has every right not to talk about his private life. He knows full well that if he starts talking about them, this will drum up interest in his family life and he doesn't want that. This wasn't an alter speaking, or Ben admitting that the septics have an influence in his life, this is just him stating that he kowns how gossip works and he doesn't want to be part of that.

Yes darling Gatorshit, Karon and Ben don't read your blog. They don't give a flying fuck about you, they never have. I know you're desperate to have some kind of influence on his life, but you really don't. So why don't you try and concentrate on your own life for a change?

[nostuntmanneeded]

Same AO's "education" bg anon here..sadly, I didn't find enough evidence about her education background but I found something better and funnier, I almost coughed out a lung and I got excerpts for you guys because I love you all and I want you guys to be happy too 🤣🤣 I'm probably late to the party because I didn't want to give her articles traffic but if I knew it was going to be this funny I would have read them everyday 😂 In her profile summary they included that she was Famous as: The girlfriend of Sebastian Stan (at least they got something right) 😂 "Alejandra has been successful in her career as an actress so far. " Yep, she's on demand right now, back to back projects, Hollywood producers chasing after her here are there, she has so many projects she doesn't even have any time to spent time with her friends 😞 and her Netflix show was so good and well received that they renewed it for a new season 😍😍😍 "She has been involved in promoting top brands such as DKNY and Guerlain." Omg! TOP brands??? DKNY??? Guerlain???? Is she a supermodel??? 😮😮 She should be a VS angel!! 💗💖💝💘💓💞💕❣ "The talented actress has also starred in various theatre plays, such as El burlador de Sevilla and A Midsummer Night's Dream. " It's unfair that she still hasn't won an Academy when she's so darn talented!! 😡😡 "Alejandra is also a social activist. She loves to educate people on saving the oceans and sea creatures such as turtles, dolphins, and whales." That's right! She' such an icon she even saved that baby hermit crab from the plastic the little baby was taking shelter at because she thought it was stuck like the brilliant wave she is! My queen 🤩🤩😘😘 "Alejandra Onieva is a remarkable actress and model. Her passion and commitment to her work are notable, and so is her love for her popular boyfriend, Sebastian Stan." She's so underrated and it's not fair when she's obviously so inspiring and she's such a hard worker, so dedicated to her career! 😍😍 And she doesn't cheat the system or date popular guys to be famous unlike other people who are so unremarkable and only famous because of PR stunting 🙄🙄 Could they make it any more obvious that they paid for the article??? They kept using flowery and flattering words like "talented" "remarkable" "succesful" and bestie, that's not a biography, that's a poorly made CV/resume, the shit was trying so hard to sell her. Like most of the articles that shares the same content, the website is not well-kown and looks sus af and doesn't mention a single negative thing about her like the cultural appropriation and travelling during CoVid unlike other popular websites like BuzzFeed and Daily Mail who doesn't shy away from talking about how problematic she is. The purpose of the trash ton of articles after the video was not just to fish for clout but also to sell her and it was also an attempt to dump the internet with articles talking about how she cares about marine life and shit and spam the articles exposing her. It's damage control and they really are stalking gossip blogs because it had been already discussed about how the more she tries to grab attention, the more people would be curious about who she is and prompt them to do research about her and that she's a nobody so the HW producers and casting directors she auditiona from would definitely do a background check on her and keep in mind that for almost a year, her google search results were filled with articles that are either about her controversy and their pap pics and now this is their idea of damage control. People in the internet are so smarter than her poor excuse of a team 🤡

This definitely seems like something her or her team paid for, LOL.

It's actually quite funny how they praise her so much in that article, yet most people know that she's not successful at all and sure as heck not a social activist.

It seems like they were just trying to make it seem like she's this successful and underrated celebrity when really she's a nobody who is only known here for her cultural appropriation.

[sparrowwritesforop]

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!!!!💞💞💞 Could I get some HC's about a fem Marine of the same rank dating Smoker? I imagine they have kown each other since basic training or maybe officers school 👀 😚 😍 Thank you!!!!🥰🥰

So it kind of became a scenario.💕I hope you don´t mind. If you´d like to have HCs just tell me :) And just a warning, I got carried away a lot.🤔😂💕

Smoker with his Fem! S/O

Stacking rocks. Putting one on top of the other, stacking them as high as possible. Planning which one goes on which one, using the laws of physics to secure that they stay where they are.It takes planning, a steady hand. concentration and (most important) a goddam minute of silence.The grey pebbles shook slightly, seemingly being affected by the commotion on the ships main deck. Seemingly annoyed, the grey haired Vice Admiral observed the pitiful scene from his spot in the crows nest. Even metres above the ground, isolated there was no calm moment for him to find.Smokers subordinates were all giddy, having caught a crew of pirates on their journey. Surely they would all get a big bonus from the higher aboves. A reason to celebrate, they could be proud of themselves, Smoker knew that. He would be the last one to tell them to stop their celebrations, but he just needed a minute of calmness for gods’ sake!The marines on deck felt more than happy at the moment. Some talked to their mates, some laughed and some broke into cheers, while holding eachother. The wild exclamation of their happiness caused a small group of them to bump against the mast, causing the stack of Pebbles in front of their Vice Admiral to break up.He huffed annoyed, gripping the bridge of his defined nose.

“You sure know how to put on a happy face, Vice Admiral”Smoker turned to the side of the crows nest, where his girlfriend emerged.The shorter woman observed her man turning to her, not missing how the muscles of his back moved slightly under the scarred skin of his back. It was really a blessing from the gods themselves that he chose to leave the jacket off today.“This is my happy face, Idiot.” She mockingly smiled at him, before completely climbing on the crows’ nest.“What is bothering you now?” The woman plopped down next to him, observing his expression carefully. She noticed the small wrinkles appearing on his forehead, meaning that there was something that seriously bothered him or at least occupied his thoughts. Also his habit of stacking little rocks clearly spoke for her theory. She remembered the day they met for the first time. It was back then in Loguetown, both of them were children. Shortly after Gol D. Rogers execution.She saw him in a meadow, stacking little rocks he collected from the small riverside. He was taken aback by the smile of the former pirate kings face during his execution and easily annoyed by the little girl disturbing his train of thoughts.She liked to remember this day, even though the both of them started of on a bad foot, they somehow found their way to each other. It may have happened during the training of the Marines or the moments she forced him to let her patch him up, when he got injurys, while he complained that a real marine does not need a little girls help. Maybe when she taught him that the “little girl” Is more than capable of beating him. It didn´t matter anymore. The both of them eventually found their way to eachother, which was never easy in the least. He, a man that had a hard time expressing his feelings and her, a woman that wanted nothing more than to be a part of the so called “Men´s world” without being seen as a lovesick little woman running after some man.It took the two of them many years to find their middle way, but here they were, defeating the evil to their best abilities.The now older man looked at her, contemplating how much she already knew, since she had this habit of reading him, even if he tried his best to conceal one or two things, not wanting to upset his love more than necessary.“Have you….have you ever looked at the marine as a whole?”“As a whole?” (Y/N) scrunched up her eyebrows, not getting his questions quite right.“Yes. Not just our Ship, but everything. I was thinking about the Marines Moral. Just think back to the white city. I read that everybody was slaughtered there, but not only because of the sickness. The main goal was something different according to these books.”He pointed to a small stack of brown book, lying in a corner of the small space.“These books…were they in the pirates ship? Let me see.”She curiously reached for one of the leather-bound books. It looked slightly broken, like it was hidden in a small corner, without good protection. Water stains made the pages stiff as she turned them, reading about the distress, about the murders.“Smoker, what does this mean? The Marine wants peace, right?”

The tall man clicked his tongue before moving his arm around her waist, pulling her into his lap. He rested his chin on her shoulder, before answering.

“I know what we want. I looked into it and in the past….mistakes were made, but we decide what kind of marine we want to be, love”She turned in his lap, observing his determined expression. Smoker knew what he wanted, he always knew. This determination was what she fell in love with at first. He had his own Idea of moral, he was not one for seeking great money or fancy titles, he just wanted the world to become less cruel, less cruel to future generations, less cruel as it has been for him, for both of them.She gently took his face in her hands, pulling him to her, but Smoker (being the man he is) ended up kissing her first. Promising her with his silent gesture that they´d be together, that they would be better, that they would make the world a better place, side by side.

He felt the familiar fluttering as she looked into his eyes. It bothered him in the past, but he knew that this feeling was a gift by whatever was out there. Giving him a reason to be strong, to fight, to win over this cruel world. Her smile spoke a thousand words, reassuring him over and over again.“We do, Vice Admiral. We do.”

[lunnybunny12]

Munkustrap x reader

It was around 1 o'clock in the morning at the junkyard and you were out on potroll. Prowling the fence line, protecting your tribe.

It was a perfect night.

The sky was a deep black. The moon shon on all the peaces of broken mirrors that were scattered around you.

On a warm night like this you expected everyone to bee asleep. Well.... almost evryone.

As you were climbing on a rusted old car you heard a noise behind you. As if someone was following you. With a flick of your tail and a small smile on your lips you took a seat on the roof of the old Ford.

You wernt afraid because you knew who it was before you heard the noise. It was the protector of the kittens and the teller of story's himself, Munkustrap.

You had noticed over your past 5 potrols that he had been keeping an eye on you, but this was the first time he was silly enuph to be caught. 

After hearing another shuffle, you found out where the grey tom was hiding and quickly scurried off of the car to slunk behind him.

As you did this, you saw him start to skan the area looking for you, giving you an idea of why he was there.

Munkustrap, over all was a very well respected and composed cat. The two of you have kown each other your entire lives, which meant that you saw the sides to him that nowone elce did. During that time you had become close. To the point of developing feelings for him.

He also showed sighes of having mutual feelings, however every time he tried to flirt or tell you how he felt he would get all flustered. And you loved seeing that side to the (mostly) composed protector.

"These past few nights have been so lovely haven't they, Munkustrap?" You purred in his ear with a small smile.

Feeling you so close to him gave him a chill from his ears right down to the tip of his tail, making his eyes widen and then soften in the realisation of bring caught.

"Your'e not exactly the best at stalking are you?" You giggled walking to stand in front of him.

By this point your friend had let out a quick chuff and said with an amused smile " No, I guess not. And by the sounds of it you've known that I've been keeping an eye on you the past few nights."

"Yes I have. Mind explaining why that is?" you grinned at him taking your finger and pokeing his nose "boop".

Munkustrap suddenly became very flustered and started to avoid looking you in the eye. It was obvious that he was embarrassed... But why?

"Well ,since you were almost taken by Macavity at the ball I-" he was suddenly cut off by your finger on his nose again.

"The key word is "almost". I was "almost" taken by Macavity at the ball." You stated seeing the tom look down in disappoint only to have his head turned to you again by both your hands on his cheeks.

"But I had my friend protect me, didn't I?" You smiled

"You faught to keep both the tribe and I safe. And you did it without a second of hesitation, so thank you for that"

Your hands had wrapped around his waist as you pulled him into a hug, which he returned with a smile.

After a second on that position he let out a shakey sigh as he closed his blue eyes and said in a clear voice "That wasn't the only reason."

"What?"

"That wasn't the only reason I saved you" he said as he pulled away slightly to face you while you were still in his arms.

"I-i um"

At hearing him get flustered again you smiled, and leaned into his face, brushing his lips against yours in a short but sweet kiss.

When you pulled away you could see a mixture of emotions in his eyes , that ranged from confusion, interest, joy ,shock and releaf.

"I know the reason" you smiled, bringing him into another hug.

"You can read me like a book ,can't you?" he chuffed as his reddend face hid in the crook of your neck.

You didn't answer. You just pulled him off of your shoulder and kissed his forehead as his hands slid around yours.

[fictional-guns]

Sirius Black Imagine

The fairytale of the Little Red Riding Hood and her big bad wolf

Sorry for any mistakes English is not my first language :/ Song for the mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTzLgnT9UFI Warnings: None I was on my last year in middle school and now I walked home. It was not speical this day or anything in my life. Just a normal teenager life, with a normal school nothing really cool. And about me? There was not really a interesting thing. But there was just one situation that was different then the others on this day. A black tousled dog went on the other side of the road. And I know this would make no sense but I had the feeling he was watching me. When I looked to the other side I directly stared in his eyes. They were dangerous but at the same time so gentle. When the dog was gone so I couldn't saw him anymore I continued my way. I had a long way maybe a bit dangerous. I had to walk through a few districts that were not really save. And everytime I had to go through my heart beats faster and my stomach was hurting. When I was by the corner were the way was to walk into one of those districs I noticed something that brushed my leg. I looked down and saw the eyes from a few minutes again. The dog came to me and walked forwards. Myself was a little bit surprised and when he noticed that I didn't came with him his head moved to my direction. "Hmm ok." I said to me and and walked...walked on the sidewalk. The black dog that nearly looked like a wolf didn't leave my side. When a man went in my direction with a specific look on his face and one hand in his pocket the dog was really attentively. "Hey girl, wanna buy-" he was interrupted from my black companion. He growled deep and loud and bared his sharp teeth. The man jumped backwards and was frightend. With quick steps I went my way til I was home. The big dog with me. "So here we have to say goodbye." I said, and knelt down to stroke his head. "I konow you can't understand me but thank you. Your are my big bad wolf." I meant and giggled slightly. And padded his head for the last time. I stepped in my house and I could see how the black dog run away to get another adveture...at least that was the thing that I imagined. A few days were over... everday when I had to walk to my school and after school to my home he was there. I started to talk with him, I behaved like a real person not much of a dog. So now I was home and I really had to say I missed him, he was lovely, and gentle but also so strong an brave for a dog...maybe braver and and gentle than the most of humans. It was evaning...I just sat there and read a bock but suddnly I heard something. It sounded like a stone that was thrown against my window. Bewildered I stand up and looked outside...there he was the black dog but how? How he could throw a stone? Was that normal? He was lying there and you could see to good that something was wrong. Pleading he stared in my face. My expression turned sad...so sad that I was afraid that something really bad happened to him. I run down the stairs and opened the door:"Hey sweety where are you going?" my mum asked while she watched TV. "Just bring thy garbage to the trashcans." I pretexted. My legs run so fast as they could and when I was by the dog he laid there...weak and injured. "Ohh god." the words left my mouth as I saw his one fore leg...it was bloody and a deep wound you could see. It seemed stupid but out of my reflex I asked:"Can you walk?" But like magic he tried it...he hobbled slowly but he could made it. In front of the door I tried it again and said:"When we go in, you have to run up the stairs...but try to keep quit... I know it will hurt but I will try my best to make everything ok." It was really like he could understand me...with much pain he ran up the stairs and my mother didn't noticed anything. I went to my room with the dog and there he was lying on the ground. With panic I get a paramedic box. I locked my room and cleaned his wound...unfourtnaly my carpet suffer under it... "Maybe this will burn." I informed him and he growled when I sprayed disinfectant in his wound. Slowly and careful I wrapped a association around his leg. "I don't know if I could do more, I don't know." I confessed and was clearly sad about it. He had so much pain you could see him clearly suffer... "Are you hungry? Are you thirsty?" I asked him with insecure. He just stand up and jumped carefule on the bed. I just nodded to show him that it was ok.... "Maybe you need some sleep?" I asked myself and sat next to him and patted my lap. His head he laid in there and his paws too. I decided to sing him a song, maybe it will help him? He always helped me, he always proteced me although it was just a dog. I don't know why I felt so much for this hound... "Hey there little red riding hood, you sure are looking good. Your everything a big bad wolf could want. Little red riding hood. I don't think little big girls should go walking in these spooky, old woods alone. What big eyes you have...The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad. Just to see that you don't get chased I think I oughta walk with you for a ways. What full lips you have they sure to lure someone bad. So until we get to grandma's place I think you oughta walk with me and be safe......" I started to sing...when the song was over he slept so peacefully. And the story between us was like I would be the red riding hood and he, he was the big bad wolf. The difference he wasn't bad, he wasn't the wolf that would eat a little girl, he was protecting the little red riding hood, he was in love with the girl. The wolf had watched the red riding hood he learned to like her, to be with her, to be her wolf and maybe later he would change his appearence into a man. God what I was thinking? He is a wolf and it was a fairytale, things like this couldn't exist, because there was no magic, although I believed that something was special about the dog. When it was late I falled asleep too and dreamed about the dog and this stupid little fairytale. "What is a little girl doing here?" I heard a dark raspy voice. I turned away from the flowers and put the rest that I had in my hand into my basket. "Just picking flowers for my grandma." I answered and smiled to the black wolf. "Girls shouldn't walking alone into the woods, it's dangerous here. So many evil things." he warned me. "At first I walked the small path but then I saw these flowers, it would make grandma happy to have those." I explained it. "Come on I lead you to your grandma." he said and waited that I come with him. Insecure I stepped to his side and carful touched his fur. It was a bit dirty and touseld but sofft and thick. "You mean the small cabin at the end from the path, right?" I asked and I nodded. "How is your name?"so now I asked him he looked up to me. "Sirius." he answered and groweld a bit when I want to stroke his head. "My name is (Y/N) also kown as the little red riding hood." I introduced myself to him. "It's a obvoius thing that you are red riding hood." he meant and poited to my red cape. I looked to my basket full of flowers one bottle wine and a cake I had baked for my grandma. "Sure you can carry all these things?" he asked a bit worried that it would be too heavy for me. "Oh I can carry it. It is not like that I am 7 years and couldn't carry the basket." I said to him and he laughed a bit. He studied my face and than he said:"You have big eyes, eyes that drive wolves mad. Be careful you should't look in the eyes of a angered beast." the wolf advised. "Why someone  or an animal should be angry at me?" I asked him and didn't understand. "There are creatures that don't want to rip all of your flesh from your bones, but the are cursed so they have to." Sirius meant serious. In the distance you could see the cabin. "I will wait here, I will escorte you home." Sirius said and sat down. "Sure you want to wait so long?" I asked him. "When I have to. And when I am not here then you will wait on this place, you don't go alone into the woods again. I see you later Little red riding hood." Sirius said goodbye. The few metres I walked alone to the cabin, I could feel how his eyes were starring at my back. I knocked on the door and a voice shouted out:"Who is there?" "You granddaughter, (Y/N)." I yelled through the door. "Ohh than come in the key is under the the mat, dear." she said. I unlocked the door and hugged my grandma. She put her gun back to the corner. Grandma was really carful here, she knows the creatures the wolf had told me about. "Happened anything on your way?" she asked worried. I decided to say no, I don't want her to be more worried. "No everything was ok. Look I brought your flowers." I pointed to the flowers I had picked for her. Grandma put them into a vase. I sat there eat something and talked alot to her.. . til it was night. When I was on my way back I couldn't see Sirius anymore. So I did as he said, I waited there. But after long minutes I suddenly heard a loud and painful whine. My eyes grew wide and I ran after the noise I heard. I don't want that the wolf get hurt. "Sirius!" I yelled after him. And than something jumped out of the bush behind me. I could see the shadow..large and enormous. The thing had big and terrible claws and when I truned around I could saw an werewolf. "Don't you dare to attack her!" Sirius ran in front of me.   "Do not give into the feeling, Remus. You don't want to hurt her or someone else." he spoke to him calmly. And suddelny the black wolf truned.. truned into a human, into a attractive man. "Please Remus. You are not the bloodthirsty creature. You are not a killing machine..." Sirius spoke so calm he could so soft. The werewolf decided to leave and go hunt somwhere else. I was so confused how he could change himself? "Is everything ok?" he asked. I nodded a bit frightened. "You don't have to be scared anymore." he just said and stroke his thumb over my cheek and smiled down at me.... I heard my alaram clock and lazly I turned it off but still eyes closed. I was too tired so I turned around in my blanket, it was so warm and comfortable. And than I remembered that the dog was still by me. I opened my eyes but I didn't stare into the eyes from a dog... now I starred into the face from a human. What was going on? Is this a dream again? Without a noise I got up and took one of the heavy books. When I stand in front of my bed again I studied him. He was like the man in my dreams but I could see is injury on his arm. Was this possible? Was this real? The same injury had the dog. "Hey wake up." I said a bit too quiet. "Hey." I meant a bit louder. The man woke up and looked at me. My book I had lifted into the air, and ready to hit him when he would do something wrong. "Hey I am not here to hurt you." he said when he realized what I want to do. "I know for you muggles this is very confusing. But I am the dog, I am a wizard." he explained. "A wizard?" I asked still the book in the air. "Yeah a wizard I can proof this." the youg man said. Slowly he put out a wand. "Accio book." he said. The book in my hands flight away to him. "What the hell?? How?" I asked him and sat on the bed. "You are really the dog." I stated. "Yeah. My name is Sirius Black." he told me his name. "But I have to go now, it is early morning. This will be better for you. I see you later (Y/N)." he spoke fast and smiled sassy. "Later what? Huh why?" I only was surprised and confused. With a quick kiss on my cheek  he suddenly disappeared.... It was weeks that he came every evaning to me and slept here. And he always protected me on my way for school. And things between ous became a bit more serouis. "(Y/N)?" he asked me while we cuddled a bit. "Sirius?" I asked back. "What, what would you say when I offered you to go with me?" he was carful when he spoke out these words. "With you? Where?" was the next question. I sighed:"I am here for weeks now. I have home, a house." he explained. "It is in London, a bit away from here but not too far." he said. "I can't leave my parents here alone. They would be worried." I meant. "It would be not like, that you couldn't visit them." Sirius was the opinion. It was difficult, when I would say no to him he would be hurt although he can understand it. But when I go with him I would break up school and would leave my family. I looked to the side, don't want to see his face when he was sad. "And what is when I would visit you?" I questionate. His rough hands grabbed my face careful. "I like it when you around me, to protect you, to be with you." he said his forehead leand against mine. "I don't want to lose you. I am afraid that we wouldn't see each other anymore." was his reason. "I try to visit you every day, I promise. I mean you are my big bad wolf." I laugehd slightly. And this lighted up his mood. "And your are my little red riding hood." his lips curled a bit into a smile. And he kissed my like a big bad wolf would do it. So I lay under him it was not possible to escape from him. But I didn't want to escape. So I kissed back and I could felt his tongue in my mouth. Although he was a rough kisser he always showed you his love. His hands were tangled in mine and when we need some air I said:"I love you." it was the first time I said this to to him. his right hand cupped my cheek. "And I love you."

[hardcorehaylor]

Analysis on Harry’s album

This is a pretty basic analysis made just to show which song’s on Harry’s album could be about Taylor, based off mostly on parallels and recurrent themes on his lyrics.

Meet Me In The Hallway

It probably is about Taylor.

The theme in here is a couple that has broken up, but he clearly misses the relationship and his partner. Some fans have pointed how it also has elements that remind you of an addiction, kind of similar to what Taylor said that Clean could also remind people of when 1989 was released. In this song comes up a recurrent theme in the album: communication issues.

“We don’t talk about it/It’s something we don’t do”

Sign of the Times

The album first single released last month. Harry has stated that the song can have multiple interpretations, that range from politics, to a mother giving birth. It’s all very abstract and kinda deep and based on that, you can’t say that it is about Taylor.

Still, you can’t ignore Harry’s tendency to blatantly refer to Taylor’s songs, something we’ve seen especially on both “I Love You” and “Perfect”, and that we also have on a couple of other songs on this album. On Sign Of The Times, the chorus mentions multiple times “We never learn, we’ve been here before/Why are we always running from the bullets”, and you simply can’t not think of I Know Places.

“Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes/And guns/They are the hunters, we’re the foxes/And we run” and, also, “They take their shots but we’re bulletproof” and there’s no denying of the fact that we do have some parallels. During the songs Harry also puts emphasys on “We gotta get away from here”, similar to what Taylor’s counterpart suggests to her on Wildest Dreams: “He said, ‘Let’s get out of this town/Drive out of the city, away from the crowds’“. It could totally be just a coincidence, but...

The communication issues are made present here, if it’s of any help on making an argument: “We don’t talk enough/We should open up/Before it’s all too much”

Carolina

Definitely not about Taylor. The song is literally the narrative from the lyrics: about a girl from “Carolina” who moves to California. Harry confessed that the name of the girl that inspired it are on the lyrics and fans have already found her on social media.

Two Ghosts

It’s the one that kicked off the speculations and could, easily, be Harry’s very own “Swift”. He even doesn’t shy away from referencing “Style”. “Same red lips, same eyes blue/Same white shirt, couple more tattoos/But it’s not you, it’s not me” he sings on the first verse, making it clear that he’s talking about Taylor and himself.

If he couldn’t only quote the songs that Taylor wrote about him, Harry goes one step further and mentions “The fridge light washes this room white”, which no one can deny the parallel with All Too Well.

Communication issues? A sure thing here: “Tongue tied like we’ve never kown/Telling those stories that we already told/Cause we don’t say what we really need”

In case anyone ever needs some evidence that Harry misses Taylor, you can show them the lyrics to this song. It talks about how things have changed between them, how they aren’t who they once were while he tries to remember how his heart beats. No big deal, really.

Sweet Creature

Very likely to be about Taylor.

Here Harry sings about changes and how they need to talk about where things are going wrong. The most proeminent parallel on Sweet Creature is, probably, the emphasys on “home”, a detail that Taylor also likes to explore (especially with Style’s “take me home”).

First, “We started, two hearts in one home”, then, “Wherever I go/You will bring me home” and a little bit more interesting? “When I run out of road/You bring me home” because it’s inevitable not to think of “All i know is that you drove us off the road” from All You Had to Do Was Stay.

Again, Harry complains about a lack of communication “I always think about you and how we don’t speak enough”

Only Angel

It’s open for debate.

You could say that it’s for the same person that “Meet Me in The Hallway” is about because of the “end up meeting in the hallway every single time” line. However, there are parts that evoke an open interpretation, especially when it’s one of the most explicit songs on the album with lines like “When it turns out she’s a devil between the sheets”

Kiwi

It’s the album’s most explicit song and certainly not about Taylor. Not that these facts are connected, but the references in here aren’t at all about Taylor.

Even Since New York

Maybe?

The song talks about the felling of being empty while missing someone. What’s really striking in here it’s the New York reference. It’s not like Harry’s much of a New Yorker, and it is a huge part of 1989. For Taylor, her 1989 story begun in New York. Harry’s been praying ever since New York.

Recently Harry bought a place in Tribeca that’s really close to Taylor’s place.

Woman

It can be.

At the very beggining he talks about looking for “romantic comedies on Netflix” (something that Harry confessed that he really does) and it’s not a reach when I say that Taylor is also known for liking the genre. The song talks about jealousy. Harry openly admits that he’s selfish and doesn’t appreciate that the “Woman” is with another guy who’s where Harry should be. If you haven’t thought that Taylor’s been in two very public relationships very recently, you must be thinking about that now.

To leave no doubts, he makes a cheeky remark: “And promises are broken like a stitch is”, after all, he’s the guy that ended up with “twenty stitches in a hospital room”, right?

From the Dining Table

After all of that, after 1989... we still have this one.

Harry said that this is the most honest and vulnerable song on the album and he didn’t lie. He sings about a melancholic day of his life, where he’s drunk by noon and has never felt less cool until then. The motive for that: lack of communication.

He and the person who I believe it’s Taylor, hasn’t spoken since the day thatshe left him and the silence is bothering him, who complains that she’s never the one who apologizes first but even his phone is missing her calls. At his lowest, he also finds out from a mutual friend, that also got from her his old t-shirt, that she’s fine.

Harry remembers waking up next to a girl that looked like her and almost calling her name (fans have noticed that Harry has dated some girls that do look like Taylor in the past).

After everything we’ve seen so far, Taylor also earns this one.

None of what I said should be taken as gospel truth, I’ve just put all of the speculation together and came up with something that made sense for me. Take it with a grain of salt and don’t take it all too seriously!

(Originally posted here, in portuguese)

[jumpiona]

Friluftsliv, Outdoor Education and Recreation or a both unique and by far the best course at University ever

The following is my personal report about the course that we had to write as an assignment. [Daher ist es auch auf Englisch ;)]

Introduction

I want to begin this report about the course Outdoor Education and Recreation at Örebro University in spring semester 2019 with a quote from Albert Einstein: Education is not the learning of facts, it’s rather the training of the mind to think. Education nowadays is often focused to learning of facts especially in my field of study Business Administration. In this course education is conducted differently with the nature as a trainer of the mind to think. In the following I will describe how we can learn from nature and what activities we did in order to do so.

This course was taking place in spring 2019 during five weeks and is offered to international students being on an exchange semester at Örebro University but also open for Swedish students counting for 7,5 ECTS. As a result the participants came from eight different countries (Belgium, Germany, Hong Kong, Singapore, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, USA). The focus is on outdoor life and therefore major parts of the course were taking place outdoors either in nature reserves surrounding Örebro or on three different trips. The first one took place in the region Härjedalen in the north of Sweden where we spent four nights in an apartment and went cross-country skiing every day. On the second trip we visited Urnatur located at the lake Visjö in Ödeshög and learned about fire-making and other survival techniques. We slept in a big kåta when the temperature was around zero degree. During the third and last trip we climbed and repelled as well as rode Icelandic horses and we slept under the open sky. 

Overall we had been very lucky with the weather conditions for the whole course period, in the mountains it was sunny with a balmy breeze and temperatures between minus and zero degrees, during the other trips it was sunny with spring-like conditions. For the most part of our group all the activities were new and they have for example never done skiing or horseback riding before. I had previous knowledge for most of the activities nevertheless I made some new experiences and also learned a lot. At the end we organized an outdoor day for pupils of the fourth and fifth grade at Sörbyängsskola in Örebro.

Outdoor Education

If you want your mind to train to think you need to get some background knowledge as a basis. Theory and practice belong together (Svenning, 2009), that is why we often first had theoretical explanations and afterwards the opportunity to try it. During the skiing tour we learned that a wind sack is a fast and efficient way to shelter when a blizzard is occurring. It is important to dig a sufficient hole in the snow where all persons as well as all equipment have space. We tried to open the wind sack and experienced that it is necessary to hold the tarp at any time tightly and also to sit on the edges to have a protection against wind and snowfall. On the second trip we got some theoretical background about fire-making before we could try the techniques ourselves. Generally, a fire needs oxygen, heat and fuel. To start a fire it is therefore important to have some tinder (something that burns fast such as birch bark or dry pieces of wood). You need to assemble your tinder not to tight in order to let the fire get oxygen. As fuel and a lighter you can either use matches but also fire steel or a flint stone and even friction. It is always important to prepare everything you need to get a sufficient fire because in the first minutes the fire is like a newborn child which you should not leave alone. Education in the outdoors involves the person as a whole, with all senses present (Svenning, 2009). Among different factors influencing the attention of a human being I want to describe three in detail. For example fear can be a reason that not all senses are present. To make all members of the group feel comfortable and not be afraid we started with a group activity, an ice breaker. We made a circle, joined hands and walked around in the circle while singing. This so-called funny dance might look from the outside really funny but when participating you feel immediately part of the group.

Being with all senses present also means that you are not stressed. The schedules of the trips allowed us to have free time in order to learn more about techniques being demonstrated or to enjoy and meet the nature. I was very interested in the tree houses at Urnatur and the building techniques and I got the chance to explore it further in the morning after breakfast with my friend. Besides the tree houses there are both blog and bole houses but no matter Håkan Strotz, the founder and owner of Urnatur, builds everything himself manually. As part of his preservation approach he only rents machinery when needed. Guests can come to sleep in the wooden houses and cook with ingredients solely produced organic in the garden as well as on the farm.

We also had the chance to go to the lake Visjö with a canoe. We only had less than half an hour but it is an evidence what are the benefits of activities in the nature: Your senses are activated, you hear, feel and smell better when you get oneself into the nature and you can concentrate on yourself. As positive outcomes you are more concentrated and able to focus on your next tasks. Canoeing is just one example of a variety of outdoor activities which have in my opinion the same effect such as biking, climbing, hiking, riding, skiing or just a walk. When it is a demanding activity where you need to bring yourself to do it you might also strengthen your self esteem and self-confidence. A useful exercise to sharpen your senses is the snapshot game we did during the course: In a team of two leads one the other on the shoulder and shows them a spot. When he says click the other one opens the eyes just for a moment and try to remember the spot to show it later. As already mentioned it enhances the connection to the nature but builds also trust to your team member.

Outdoor Leadership

If you're always prepared as a leader the others will never learn how to make it. As a good leader you know when you should give some extra support and information to prepare your group. For instance bringing the right equipment for certain outdoor situations is very important especially when sleeping outdoors. I found the most essential is a sleeping back which holds you warm even when the temperatures are around zero degree. Otherwise you will have an unrelaxing night with difficulties to sleep. To be well rested is a third requirement to have all senses present. In other situation it is better to give no information to let the members of the group find a solution or their personal outcome. During the first trip in the winter conditions we had a practice where we should be alone for one hour. We could climb with our cross-country skis a mountain or walk around and just enjoy the nature. This activity showed me that it is refreshing to be for a certain amount of time absolutely independent and free, just you and the nature. I developed in the way that I developed self-competence, be more myself I belief more in my abilities. Additionally, others want to learn from me and in this way I can be a leader. Especially for the cooking which was during the trips a group activity. I discovered that there are mainly three reasons: Firstly, if everybody brings its own food different utensils and fire settings are needed and one is interfering another because space on and around the fire is limited. Secondly, especially when cooking outdoors there are some preparations like chopping wood and starting the fire involved and it is better when everybody helps together because this takes time. Last but not least cooking in a group improves the team spirit. I found these outcomes when reflecting on it afterwards, beforehand I and also some others were a bit annoyed because we were expected to cook in random groups. But I not only learned to be a leader but also to listen to others and learn from them. For example I wanted to try to chop wood with an axes and it was not working well. Drew demonstrated it and explained the main points like standing brought for safety reasons, hold the axes with both hands and get power from above the head. With the next try it worked perfectly. Since my family has a farm I have seen often people chopping wood or heard how to do it but never tried it before. I see it as a evidence of the How we learn theory of William Glasser. Namely, we learn only 50% of what we see and hear and 80% of what we experience personally but 95% of what we teach to someone else. I therefore learned that the exchange with others is always highly valuable to learn new techniques or from other views. Due to the fact that our group consisted of eight different nationalities it is interesting to get insights from other cultures. As a result I am more open-minded.

Outdoor Creativity

I also learned to be more flexible to different and changing situations. One of the Germans typical trade is that they want to plan everything to have all in order. Before the course I was more like the typical German but I noticed that you can experience exciting moments when you just live in the moment, open your mind and be spontaneously. During the course we got not all information about what is going to happen at first sight because sometimes you cannot know what will happen, the weather can change etc. Moreover, it is difficult to explain certain situations, you just have to see the surroundings and then you will understand immediately what is the idea. Referring to the cooking I made a plan what to cook but had to adopt some of my long-kown recipes due to the fact that we are staying outdoors with no fridge available and also limited utensils. Some ingredients are in addition in Sweden not or not in the same type available for example I had to find Marsán as a substitute for vanilla pudding powder. To some extend you need to be willing to think differently. For a desert we made I was inspired by a cheese-tray-cake recipe. We put the filling into squeezed oranges and add the actual dough in the bottom of the cake as crumples on the top. We cooked it in aluminum foil over the fire. I was pleased that my idea of preparing it worked so well and that everyone liked it. During the course I got to know an extremely useful device for cooking and baking on the fire, namely the Reflector Oven. Whatever you can make in an electric oven you can make it in the reflector oven. Invented in Sweden, it comes as a space-saving flatpack which can be expanded. It is coated with light metal to reflect the heat when putting it at an angel of 90 degrees to the fire. We used it to make a pie with broccoli and brie as well as for an apfelstrudel.

Summarized you can say nature demands your creativity to cope with the special conditions. Linda Naiman (2014) describes “creativity [a]s the act of turning new and imaginative ideas into reality. Creativity involves two processes: thinking, then producing.”  According to this definition the dessert we made on the fire was some sort of creativity. There is another example for creativity in nature from the course. When we spend the week in Härjedalen to experience winter conditions we had the possibility to build snow caves. What started with digging of simple holes turned into a snow adventure park with slides and underground tunnels. Since we were a group of three girls we did not have enough power to dig deep although some other guys were helping us. Anyway, we decided to build a “honeymoon suit” (thinking) and created a cave in the shape of a heart (producing). When we visited the fireplace we were supposed to use for the outdoor day with the kids I found one of the iron cauldron painted with silhouettes. This coal painting inspired me to produce coal chalk made out of sticks to paint rocks at the outdoor day with the kids (thinking). We did it by putting small sticks into a can with tiny holes in the cover and placing it directly into the embers of the fire (producing). After 15 minutes under the absence of oxygen in the can the sticks became coal pens.

New ideas involve however a risk of failures and unsteady progress. That is one reason why some companies especially in Germany scotch deviance and therefore creativity (Manager Magazin, 2014). In nature you can learn by making mistakes and be yourself, the nature does not judge you even when you are different.

Conclusion

Overall the course is highly recommendable to everyone regardless which field. The conception of the course with the preparation of an outdoor day for pupils as a final work might focus students from the field of education but it is of value for everyone. As described early if you open your mind you are able to find yourself in the nature. Therefore, you learn what are the benefits of spending time outdoors and how you can recreate in simple ways for instance with a walk in the woods. After the course it becomes obvious that everyone should appreciate natural environments more especially when they are right on your doorstep. In your familiar surrounding you often take the nature for granted but you should see the access to it as something special. A good advice is to show your gratitude with consideration and care. I also found the multinational group very inspiring to get to know different cultures and habits. Anyhow, the group spirit was very positive and nobody was expelled at any time. It was kind of special that I was the only German and even German speaking in the group but I appreciated it.

Obviously, there is not much improvement for the course. It is very well conceptualized and probably unique at Örebro University. The learning objectives and outcomes are fulfilled perfectly. There have a lot of opportunities for activities or learning been given and to some extend everybody could decide how much effort to take. Since I had previous experiences with skiing in general and I was one of the first to be down the hills in the evenings I just practiced the technique by going for some extra rounds on the tracks. A suggestion to get a deeper connection to the nature and what it means to survive in the wilderness as yet would be to go on a hiking, skiing or canoeing tour without returning every evening to a “base camp”.

I want to close as I started, with a quote from Albert Einstein which summarizes the course objectives in a good way and could also be an everyday advice for everybody:

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

Postscript:

After the course I think about doing a holiday program for kids when I am back home in Germany showing them how to use the fire for cooking or baking and use the knowledge and insights I got from the course.

[xottzot]

2018-09(AUG)-23th--August--Wednesday---no rain--utter despair without being with dear Fliss--and--1 abo crims house cleaned out AGAIN.

2018-09(AUG)-23th--August--Wednesday---no rain--utter despair without being with dear Fliss--and--1 abo crims house cleaned out AGAIN.

No rain. - Very cold. Lotsa condensation of VERY cold moisture that drips down and is wet and it's all it has rained but it hasn't. The ground is dry, escept where the grass and weeds are everywhere which is soaked, cold, and results in any walking about soaking your feet no matterwhat you're wearing on them.

Becauase it's so cold, I can't just wear thongs (flipflops) outside because my feet will get wet and so terribly cold to the bone.

But poor Sam and poor Max who are dogs, have no footwear and it's very cold for their feet as they rush outside before dawn and EVERY time I let them outside in darkness or light, and they rush about loooking and searching all over the nackyard for dear Fliss. Max ALWAYS rushed to the sidegate and puts his nose through the gap in the gate and tries to see if dear Fliss is on the other side. But she is not.

To Max, Sam and me, she has abandoned us here to suffer and die when we still love her so very very much and want to be with her.

EVERY DAY, Sam pauses when he is let outside and is stops and turns his head and looks at me as if to say, "Isn't mummy back yet? Where is she? It's been too long!"

And I have to uge him onwards to do his ablutions whilst dear Max is desperately looking through the gap in the gate for dear Fliss.

Then dear Max begins wandering the backyard and seeing if dearest Fliss is out there 'hiding'...because that was a playful game that dear Fliss and I did with poor dear Sam and dear Max when they were little puppies. How could I have known then that it would become a part of hell for us all and we would suffer so terribly.....

EVERY DAY, Sam returns to me at the backdoor and is sullen. I clean his eyes (again) because both Sam and Max brush up against bushes and get plant and flowers debris in their eyes along with all the moisture like rain has just fallen on everything.

Everyday, Sam is the first to return to me at the backdoor, but despite it being COLD outside he is super-reluctant to go inside the warm house interior just in case dear Fliss comes home whilst he's in there and he misses out on greeting her. But I clean his eyes again and let him inside. But he does NOT go completely inside into teh warmth but just wanders around back and forth in the cold laundry area because he imagines he is going to be abandoned and left all alone with me, without dear Max, he has already been abandoned by dear Fliss and he does not trust the world anymore whereas before when dear Fliss was with us, his and Max's and mine and dear Fliss's was complete and although struggling financially, we were ever so slowly making headway in honest life just as I had promised dear Fliss....however dear Fliss was (unknown to me because she always tried to keep it secret), suffering more worse from her medical ailments, and she also kept it secret from her doctors here in Western Australia and her friends and her family on the other side of Australia (even dear Cath in Queensland, her closest friend or so Fliss considered her that Fliss privately told me, dearest Cath did not know and was kept ignorant of dear Fliss's ailments for many years even before I had known dear Fliss or dear Cath and even afterwards. -- In fact EVERYONE was ignorant of the state of dear Fliss except myself whom was loving and caring for dear Fliss, Fliss's doctors, and some semi-anonymous friends of Fliss's on the internet and that includes her own family who have always kown some of dear Fliss's problems but not all of them and they refused to want to know about them and pretended that they did not exist even to her face. And according to dear Fliss they made dear Fliss feel as if all her ailments were all her own fault somehow and just 'in her head', stemming from a VERY violent physical attack upon dear Fliss that destroyed her thyroid gland, a part of the human body that controls all manner of things, weight, emotions, body-temperature control?, appetite, and all sorts of things. -- ALL THAT HAPPENED BEFORE I EVER MET DEAR FLISS, but dear Fliss still suffred from it greatly, including terrible nightmares and extra heavy sleep and 'sleep walking' and 'sleep driving' sometimes I believe though I was always forever keeping her from drivig unless I knew she ws properly awake even if it meant I had to get up at 4am or whatever each day with her as she got ready to go to her work. (I am forever stuck getting up like that. So is dear Sam and dear Max, rain, hail or shine weathers. THAT is why they are still like that and I and still have to get up and let them outside for their ablutions no matter how cold it is, no matter how wet outside it is, no matter how hot it is......and I am the ONLY one in this hovel who does that for poor Sam and poor Max. I suffer from doing that. But I do it for poor Sam and poor Max....and for dear Fliss wherever she is whom I love and want to be with but have been cast aside and left to die without her and falsley accused by her family and whoever.

And so we all come back inside (minus dear Fliss) and everything is tense because she is not with us and poor Sam and poor Max and myself are upset and have to force ourselves back to sleep or whatever EVERY DAY....EVERY DAY....DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY, AFTER DAY, AFTER DAY, AFTER DAY.....

Max comes away from searching, upset, and growling, and VERY terribly sad, and poor Sam growls, and I am upset, all because where are abandoned by dear Fliss and are stopped by uncaring others from ever having any contact it seems by others who have no fucking idea at all about anything except there own tiny shitty lives.......

HELL.

Utter despair without being with dear Fliss.

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Down at one of the criminal aboriginal households (fatguts place) this morning before noon, 'something' is going on......, I NEVER want to say what anymore because they just keep getting supported to the detriment of all other innocents.

EVERY time I think they have been evicted for whatever COUNTLESS shit and things they do and have done....they just return and once again ebginyet another cycle of criminality that affects so MANY INNOCENTS, and the local school across the road from them, and the local schoolchildren, and the local shops (broken into countless times and doors and windows smashed), and the old guy with the big green sheet netal corrugated iron front fence...it has so many huge dents in it now that sometimes he come outside onto the footpath outside his place and just stares at it. I think is he wondering if any of it is worth repairing/replacing/repainting, when all that will happen is it will all get vandalised yet again as has been happening so many countless times for years......which NEVER used to happen until the criminal aboriginals moved into houses just around the corner in the block across the road from the local primary school and therr crime and criminality spread out for so many years and badly affected so many innocent people.

All THAT is surely to erupt all again...just as it has so many many many times it has before these past years...because it will be a season for the criminals......

At the moment......false calm.

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Down at fatguts place this morning, 'something' has been going on.......

There's been a plain dual cab? utility vehicle parked there towing a large caged box trailer and it's been filled with the contents of fatguts aboriginal criminal household....lounges, lounge chairs and so on. Across teh road from there at the aborigial criminal household which has been having renovations (being rebuilt) for the billionth time because the criminal aboriginals keep destroying the place, there was a white 4WD? parked on the street verge as well.

Do you kno how MANY MANY MANY times all that has been going on for so MANY MANY YEARS?

The places get emptied/evicted, lay fallow for a short length of time, then new batches of aboriginals move in,.....and everyone thinks they're quiet and normal and then it all starts up again....the wandeirng criminal, destructive, very violent children (even to their own siblings), the VERY violent aboriginal adults (even to their own), the countless 'anonymous' visiting criminal aboriginals wandering to there from all about........

In fact even this morning, wandering aboriginal adults were wandering about including one who came from north Koongamia from ? (Greenmount, or elsewhere), walking along with his hands in his pockets and walking fasts, but who then slowed RIGHT DOWN and took his shands out of his pockets as he wandered on the street past fatguts place and the other criminal aboriginal household being renovated across the road from there, and he looke intetly all about, as if wanting to move in there like so many transients and criminals have done so before for YEARS AND YEARS. This goes on whether it's raining or fine weather such as it is today.

Where he went I have no idea. (breaking into somebodies place, or whatever). - Perhaps the only evidence of that may be be later today of the wandering Police vehicels marked or unmarked, visiting places to try to work out what the hell is going on.

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It's VERY cold inside this hovel.

Can't have the gas heater on. I get yelled at and abused for having it on. So I'm going to have to crawl back into bed and pretend it's not cold, which poor Sam and poor Max lay upon the top with me trying to get warm. Both are very cold to the touch.

I'm almost shivering.

Going back to bed.

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Mail has been delivered.

Got a notification of receipt of my personal entries to a comfortable house lottery well away from this hellhole area.

Yes, it's a terrible vague hope, a dream I am never allowed to have, but all other hope has been ripped away from me and torn to shreds and nobody cares, least of all dear Fliss whom I dearly love and still want to be with but have been kept apart from her.

I've won hardly anything else in my entire miserable life. Apart from a cheap plaster penguin (which I feel cold enough to be one now) that I proudly won as a child with my dear mother when she was alive at the Perth Royal Show many many many years ago. I have no idea where that penguin is.

Just as you perhaps will one day will wonder about me when I'm gone......

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Tumblr is again fucking me around for the billionth time as I try to post this blog entry........and I'm so damn bloody freezing here out of bed.....

HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS FUCKING HAPPEN! - AND BEEN HAPPENING FOR SO MANY BLOODY YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS....

But they STILL are sending me stacks of shitty spam and crap........

No wonder el predidente Donald Duck Trump is flailing around playing his role well, paving the way for the next grand pooh-bah to take the reins to doom.......and make us all supposedly feel happy and 'secure' doing so.......except for presdesignated others they've decided must go........

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I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you.