#i know youve been feeling bad recently

[etherealkins]

( X / X / X ) ( 💎 / X / 💉 ) ( X / X / X )

subspace + medkit (phighting) with themes of medicine, gems, and related stims in teal + red for mod aziraphale... + a related song.

[crimeronan]

every time i get an ao3 comment on a horror fic along the lines of “jesus fucking christ. this is so vile what the FUCK what the FUCKING FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKED UP” i hug my laptop to my chest and kick my feet and roll around in bed giggling like a schoolgirl who just got a love letter from her crush. omg you got physically nauseous.....? eeee

[dullahandyke]

Remember kids no matter how insecure u are in your knowledge of something, there r people who know less being more confident

[arolesbianism]

Listening to some bndori covers I haven't listened to properly yet and man smth abt Ran just brings out the best in whoever they're colabing with, like I keep forgetting that Kokoro and Ran actually sound good together despite how weird of a combo that sounds to me on paper

[amoressb]

𐙚 Hairclips

pairings : emo bf!niki x coquette!reader

synopsis : in which you saw you had some cute hairclips laying around and had the perfect idea to decorate your bfs hair in them

⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊˚ ���

You were walking around your dorm trying to find something to do. It was around 5 in the afternoon, you had a little snack and brought it to the couch in the living room.

Turning on the tv, it illuminated the small room as well as the two hairclips you left on the table. Suddenly you had an idea. Sprinting to your room, you find yourself looking for more clips and bingo! You found your drawer full of cute hairclips youve bought overtime and some your bf had gifted you.

That’s right. Niki. Your sweet loving bf.

You found it cute how he was basically the complete opposite of you. You loved all cute things and mostly stuffed animals. He on the other hand likes the complete opposite but that didn’t deter you from falling in love with him. Just then you look back at one of your plushies that remind you of him. Your badtz maru plushy. You had won it on a date you’ve recently went on with him and instantly fell in love with it as it reminded you of him. But back to the main thing here..hairclips.

You wanted him to come over quickly and what more of a perfect idea than to say that it was an emergency or that it was urgent that he come over. I mean technically you weren’t wrong..you missed him badly and you wanted to see him. So you grabbed your phone and sent the message to him.

A couple of minutes later, there was urgent knocks to your door and you ran to it knowing it was Niki. “What ha-“ was all Niki could say before he was dragged quickly to your room and sat down on the floor while you grab all the clips and sit on the bed. He was too tall to sit in the chair resulting in you having to be on your tippy toes.

“Can you tell me what-“ again he was silenced when you put your finger towards his lips smiling simply saying shhhh. You started by grabbing a pink bow of course and placed it on the side of his head clipping back his hair. You scooted back a bit and you were already in love with this idea. Immediately grabbing your phone you took a picture for memories of course and the bow was just too cute.

Many clips later, you reached the best clip of them all. Your badtz maru clip. He had been sitting there patiently waiting for you to finish. He realized a while ago that this is what was so ‘urgent’. The whole time he was admiring you and falling in love with your smile more and more as you keep adding more clips to his hair. He had his arms wrapped around your waist so you can be closer to him. He also ended up laying his head or his chin up on your lap as he was starting to slowly fall asleep to your soft touch and the cozy warm feeling he’s feeling being here with you.

Happily putting the special clip in his hair, you grabbed your phone once again to take a picture, letting you see that his eyes are closed which made it all the more cute. This was gonna be your new wallpaper for a lonng time. “I’m done my love” you say softly to him. “So this is what was so urgent huh” he sleepily chuckles. You smile as his sleepiness and softly lift his head up in your hands and melt seeing him lean into your touch. “I’m sorry it took so long” you say feeling bad that he had been stuck here for a while in the same position cuz you had that many clips. He smiled saying he didn’t mind and he was just happy to be with you.

You will say the contrast between him and the clips made it all the more perfect. He was wearing black plaid pajama pants with a black long sleeve so the pop of so much color on him with your hair clips really was perfect.

“The things i let you do to me” he says as he cuddles up to you wrapping his arms around your waist after having to sit longer just to take the clips off. You giggle into his chest and look up at him. You both looked into each others eyes not realizing you both are slowly leaning into each other. He lands a sweet kiss on your lips pulling back shortly after smiling down at you. “Goodnight y/n, i love you” he says kissing your forehead. “Goodnight Niki, i love you too” you say cuddling closer into his chest. You both fall asleep with a smile on your faces.

[yandere-daydreams]

hi. so this is kind of a random musing that doesn't have anything to do with what youve been talking abt on your blog recently so feel free to ignore it, but i love how you write yandere nanami and between going live and an ask one of my followers sent me i kinda had a revelation. i wanted to see if you had any thoughts.

i think that before meeting reader nanami would be a virgin.

even if were talking non yandere nanami, i don't think he's ever had sex. i can't see nanami being the kind of person who likes hookup culture - he doesn't want to be used by someone - but i don't think he'd be able to justify getting in a romantic relationship because his job is so dangerous. he wouldn't want to die one day and leave his partner widowed. so he stays celibate, he's come to terms with the fact that he'll die untouched.

(he just jerks himself to freaky ass porn to get his fix (maybe even a camgirl hehe))

at least, until he meets a woman who makes all of his morality fly out the window.

suddenly, his sex drive is higher then ever. he's cumming into his fist every night to the thought of this special girl doing abhorrent things on his dick. he loves her. he's never loved someone this much in his entire life so she has to be the one to deflower him. that's probably one of the most romantic things someone can do in his mind, so it has to be her. she's his soulmate

all of this to say, i think nanami would kidnap reader and force her to teach him how to have sex through some fucked up means. it just tickles something in me imagining how stupidly giddy he'd be, so unabashedly pathetic as he undresses a woman for the first time.

like, him holding her hand with his forehead pressed to hers, cumming inside of her, jumping through as many mental hurdles necessary to justify what he's doing (or maybe just not caring bc she'll come around eventually, right?)

i love your work. thank you for listening to my ramble. <3

tw - non/con, kidnapping, manipulation, delusional behavior.

no no no i agree entirely,,, no amount of propaganda can convince me that any of the jjk men every had their dicks touched before the age of twenty-five at least, with nanami probably being the worst offender among them. i mean, he doesn't really connect with people outside of the sorcerer world, not really, not in a meaningful enough way to lead to that kind of intimacy, and as for other sorcerers... no. just no. he'd rather die a virgin than resort to anything as desperate as that, which is quickly becoming a very tangible reality.

and then he meets you (or, alternative, stumbled onto your stream at some ungodly hour, his cock already in his hand and his pleasure-deprived brain frantic for something soft and pliable to latch onto), and he decides that it might not be so bad to consider alternatives after all.

i can see it going one of two ways: if he has any reason at all to believe that you're also a virgin, whether or not it's true, he'll immediately lose all patience. if that wasn't the case, he might be able to take his time, stalk you for a few months before consummating your blooming relationship, but now he's on a clock, now he has to get to you before someone else does. he still tries to make it romantic, lights candles and brings you flowers and all that, but he's rushed, panicked, babbling incoherently about 'being each other's firsts' as he haphazardly undresses you. it's a miracle he remembers to do any prep at all - he's just in such a rush to be inside of you, to be the first and only person to every know what it's like to fully, genuinely actually be with you. if there's any pain, he'll comfort you later, make up for two and a half decades of abstinence with his tongue and hands, but only after he's already ruined you for anyone else.

if you're not a virgin and he can't make himself believe you are, then he'd probably go a little less absolutely feral (at first, i mean). don't get me wrong, you're still getting kidnapped asap, but rather than a beacon of innocence and purity that he can taint, you're the corruption forcing him to fall from grace, and he's going to want you to act like it. he's got a list of virginities he needs to to take (his first handjob, his fist blowjob, the first hickey, etc.), and between every milestone, he's going to want you to teach him how to pleasure you, even if you're still insisting you'd rather not let him touch you at all. he wants your full participation - it doesn't matter how many times he makes you cum on his tongue while you're sobbing into your pillow and trying to block him out, he's not going to stop until he hears your sweet voice encouraging with the little 'right there, kento's and 'good boy's he's made you rehearse. by the time you actually take his virginity, he's going to have made you feel dirtier than you ever could've made him feel, but so long as he's the one you're feeling dirty with, nanami doesn't really mind. not when he's buried inside you, his chest pressed into yours and he's too lost in his own pleasure to think the tears staining your cheeks are anything but beautiful.

anyway loser virgin nanami you will live forever. perhaps loser virgin gojo will pay for his crimes next.

[irl-w0lverine]

Could you write an angst oneshot to reader soothing Kit's pain while he cries into her after one of his punishments pls?

October 8th - kit walker (angst)

Pairing : kit walker x reader

A/n : i honestly didnt know how to write this so ive decided to tweak it slightly just so i can write it slightly easier. Thans for the request 🫶

Rain hammered onto the glass panes of the windows to yours and kits house. Kit had seemed... Different today... Almost as if he'd been distancing himself.

"hey.. You ok?" your voice is soft as you speak to him, a hand rubbing over his shoulder as a way to try and coax him into speaking.

".. Im fine." he grunts, his body tense at your touch. Seeming.. Afraid?

"your clearly not.. Youve been ignoring me all day.. And your as tense as a rock right now"

".. I said im fine." his tone grows more stern, pushing your hand away and leaving the room.

"we are NOT doing this again! You cant just keep pushing me away kit. Thats not how this works!" you trail behind him as he walks into the bedroom.

"fine! You wanna know why? Because that shitty asylum is on the damn news again! Their not treating their patients any better! I suffered through hell and back in there. I dont want anyone else to." his voice wavers slightly, his eyes begining to gloss over with tears.

His breathing was at a slightly quickened pace, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. You immediately fill with guilt for making him feel that. Seeing his eyes full of tears. The slight quiver of his lips.

".. Kit.."

".. Look im sorry for snapping but it just hurts too see that. It just reminds me all too well of the typa' bullshit they put me through"

Without another word being spoken, you pull him into a gentle hug, peppering his face in comferting kisses.

"dont you ever apologise for that, you could say anything and I couldn't stay mad at you.. Your one of my soft spots" you mumble into his shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist as he lets out a deep exhale through his nose.

"i love ya' sugar, so damn much" his face burried in your hair, the feel of his warm tears in your hair.

A/n : im so sorry for how bad this is. I have been really stressed recently its a miracle my hair isnt gray.

Thank you so much for reading! <3

[prongsandpetals]

no one asked for this but i’m saying it anyway because i am tired of this grandpa.

i dont hate jegulus or their shippers. personally, it doesnt make sense to me and my moral compass trickles into fiction meaning i dont have much interest in any of the slytherins. it could also be the fact that when people would create oc’s for james in their fics 10 yrs ago and made lily a raging bitch id be fighting them all in the comments- a fight or flight response that now has spread to jegulus- but thats neither here nor there. it brings people joy and they are fictional characters, and it doesnt physically hurt anyone!

but there is something to be said about some of the less savoury implications it has had on the fandom. it feels as though jily is in its own subfandom sort of pushed to the side, leaving two mlm ships to dominate. unfortunately a lottt of female characters have been forgotten or pushed aside because of this. a lot of people who joined the fandom not that long ago either dont know or forget that this fandom was not built on either wolfstar (who i love), or jegulus. yes, they popularised them, but this fandom has revolved around jily for over 10 years. not to mention many of these fics were written from lilys pov, meaning there was so much more depth put into the girls characters. to erase this is to erase the fandoms history.

the diversifying of characters is something amazing that has come more recently with the popularisation of the fandom and thats one of the good parts!! however if someone still views aaron taylor johnson as their james, that doesn’t make them a racist - the man has been james since at least 2006.

another (smaller) thing ive seen is someone will post a song or a photo and attribute it to a jily moment with harry that we can realistically see happening canonically and a comment will say something along the lines of: “this but its how james felt when regulus (insert something that did not happen here)” idk if its the autism but god those always get me a little bit, especially when it includes harry.

similarly, it feels as though people who ship jily are assumed to be less progressive. as a lesbian jily shipper i can’t disagree more. just because a ship is a straight ship does not make it a bad ship - i think we can all agree there are so many amazing LGBTQ+ ships out there now for everyone to enjoy. it does feel quite strange to me to place the two characters who created the child that there are seven books about into different ships, but people like them so its chill!! but when its just complete eradication or discontent with the canon ship… ;(

i also think that to have jegulus be endgame (except aus), a lot of james’s insanely important character traits literally HAVE to be erased. his hatred for death eaters and fight for justice, his unending loyalty to his friends - especially sirius- his black and white view on right and wrong, all of these traits become warped and stretched when it comes to jegulus. of course there isnt much canon to go off of so when people disregard it entirely i can understand it to a degree. but when you erase the important canon points we have on their characters, we are basically just creating oc’s with real characters names.

another thing that i find irksome is the fetishisation of these mlm ships- if youre gonna ship two men together do it right!! why are you calling regulus a cute little baby victim and james a big strong protector!! let them be complex and messy or dont do it at all! not to mention the erasure of a lot of wlw ships... lowkey gives girl who has gay boy best friend that thinks lesbians are weird… anyways off topic! ive heard people say its not fetishisation, its because the female characters arent written with depth- that’s why people read jegulus and wolfstar! okay? go give the girls some depth? regulus is a character we basically know nothing about canonically and youve turned him into a fully fleshed character who is now a lot of peoples favourite - it can be done with the girls too. there is such emphasis placed on wolfstar and jegulus for their deep, tragic love stories - and the marauders friendship in general. the gryffindor girls are right there. dorlene is right there. marylene is right there.

and if it truly werent fetishisation, i would argue that it can be a romanticisation of toxic relationships. a lot of people dislike jily because there is no “angst”. the angst is fighting in a war at 21 years old. the angst is lily and james’s differing blood statuses and the implications this has on their lives. the angst is having a prophecy hanging over their unborn child’s head that forces them into hiding. the angst is being betrayed by their best friend, leading them to sacrifice themselves for their family and the wizarding world. the angst is literally right there, but because their relationship is healthy and happy- one of the only things in their lives that is not full of pain- they are deemed boring.

again, i dont hate jegulus. i especially dont dislike anyone who likes the ship and gets something out of it. but there is so much change this fandom has gone through since their introduction and popularisation that has made interacting with the fandom as a whole almost unbearable sometimes, and thats what i do hate.

all in all, multishippers definitely have the most fun.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey cas!!!

So i just wanted to start this by saying i LOVE your fics and clandestine is my favourite and i LOVE the way youve done regular and sirius relationship and i think it was done PERFECTLY and it makes me so happy

Also this is going to have VERY little punctuation so i apologise in advance

''Punctuation who is she? We dont know her?''

I dont know how to start this so in just going to jump right in

So basically im gender fluid and i have a different name which my old friend group took pretty badly so i had to move groups. Its okay tho cuz i wasnt without one for more than like a minute because a friend (who well call K for the purpose of this) was also on the gc (which i came out on after coming out at a sleepover about maybe a week before and they ignored it) which i made to come out onto and she basically adopted me

But i still miss them so much and message them things that remind me of them and its sad

Also they told me i give shitty friendship so i get what im given

But now heres the problem

I still think about prom (its one of my favourite things to think about) but o still want to wear a dress. Like no matter what gender day it is i still want a dress. And so i feel kind of fake. Like after all this shit im still faking it. And it makes me feel really guilty that im not 'normal' if you know what i mean?

Anyhoe this has just been really bothering me recently. Like more than normal

Also heres a fox because theyre my favourite animal and i want to share how much i love it lmao 🦊

Hi! Thank you for the love!

First of all, if your friends don't accept your for who your are and aren't willing to learn, they're bad friends. No matter what you've done.

As far as prom- there's nothing wring with wearing a dress, it doesn't make you fake at all! You're not faking it just because you want to wear a dress <3 I'm genderfluid and I'd highkey wear a dress to my prom if I was in high school again. Plus, you can always play around with your hair/makeup depending on how you're feeling that day!

Remember that gender and gender expression are different and it's okay to express your gender however you choose <3

[iid-smile]

hi... rhis might sound really random?? but ill be going on an indefinite hiatus. nothing bad is going on except studying and lack of inspo... just lost my love for writing, thats all.

(if u wanna know more which i doubt u can look in the read more... its really long + a bit at the beginning for moots so you dont have to scroll down) (this is unbelievably long)

to all of my moots, even those who i dont engage with as much, this might sound a little weird/creepy but i do check your blogs when i have the time. even if its just checking if youve updated and im just like "ooo so and so was here earlier" or "[insert moots/other blogs] are interacting! how fun" call it nosy but im just really interested in seeing you guys active lol

i may not directly say so, but i get worried when there isnt an update for a while... like i get worried when youre not here and i wish you the best, and im happy when you reappear again. sometimes i only have the time to skim through my following and like the most recent post, but i want to show that i see you all <3 its kind of embarrassing how upset i get when i see everyone is awake when im asleep and it feels a little late to compliment a new theme change when i didnt notice it earlier

i try to go into askboxes when i can (scary because i want to interact but idk what to say) and i guess some times ive been ignored...? thats okay! like i get it but i kinda dont... we're not just moots for the fb because followers arent that important to me. even for moots that dont mainly write for a fandom im in i do try to check for one that i can read and understand! (even trying to get into hq now bc a lot of my newer ones are into it judging by what i see on the dash) now that i think about it i really couldve just gone to the masterlists so thats my fault..

im not saying i expect frequent interactions because im more than happy just being moots in the first place, but im trying to say that new and old moots, i do love you guys and i want the best for you. it doesnt matter how close we are or if theres barely any interactions, i dont want you to feel stress or pressure and you should live good lives! 💗 im happy that we managed to meet on this huge platform! 🫶🫶🫶

(i really hope this didnt come off wrong because i dont dislike any of you at all! i think it sounds like im complaining but i just want friends and its personally difficult for me both just me as a person and because of timezones 😭)

ANYWAYS THE MAIN PART

i dont mean to blame any of you, but its kind of pressuring asking for a part two. like, it is flattering trust me, because it means you enjoy the work and want more. for some its probably obvious what fic im talking about but when theres already 50+ comments asking for a part two, and you add more onto that, it feels more like an obligation to do so. im sure i can see that theres many comments asking when the next part is, so dogpiling on top of it is just not a great feeling as a writer.

i think some people forget that writers write in their free time. its not a job and theres not really much satisfaction you can get out of it except knowing that theres people who love what you write. there are moments where i write a lot, and like right now, im not writing at all. i cant force myself to no matter how much i know i need to write, because then the result is unsatisfactory. this happens every time i try to do an event and i feel SO bad because youre probably so excited to receive work born from your own idea and im just not doing it??

i want you guys to enjoy what i write, but i only want to put out the best quality. on multiple occasions, even with no pressure, i feel like ive completely messed up something ive written because of my own standards. the more followers you accumulate, the better the writing should be, right? or thats what im thinking for myself... if i get embarrassed when i see somebodys liked it, then clearly i havent done well enough to consider it to be good. ive deleted many of my works if you havent noticed. the wbk ones are still up i think but i just dont think theyre good enough to be on my mlist.

ive never really mentioned engagement before... and i know im guity of it as well, but i do make an effort to. im not saying you have to reblog everything you read, but even just the occasional one that you really love, which is what i do. i havent gotten around to making a reblog sideblog just yet because i dont have the time, but just know that if i did, every fic that i like would have a reblog as well. followers and likes arent as important to me as reading or acknowledging that people want to share my work.

i dont feel as proud of my more liked fics compared to this one for example (even tho its one of my most popular bllk works but u get the point). it makes me sm happier just seeing a little comment or tag in the reblogs. its funny, and i actually did smile every time, because i really wasnt expecting people to like it that much or even get comments at all

please dont feel bad if you havent been engaging like this! im not ungrateful. we've all been there, and youre already doing good showing some form of appreciation by liking it. im glad that my hard work and improvement over six months has led me to this point.

and another thing, telling me to off myself really isnt as motivating as you think, even as a joke.

[elulsdr]

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.

it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)

PILE 1

people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.

PILE 2

oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)

PILE 3

hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.

[wndaswife]

https://www.tumblr.com/wndaswife/747747462026067968/its-been-a-few-weeks-since-youve-broken-up-and?source=share

ahhhhh rae apologize!!!

i feel so bad for wandaaa, ik her whole approach at the beginning was awful and mean, but poor little bean was confused 🥺 specially being surrounded by "friends" like hers 😤 she's actively trying to be better for reader and change her meanie ways 💖

honestly i wish R noticed something wrong about Wanda that night as she tried to leave, maybe R sees the folded note as it falls off Wanda's purse?

Wanda was in such a hurry to get out of there that she didn't even notice that the note fell as she was putting away her phone and she's practically running away.

R picks it up and even tho she tries to be mindful of Wanda's privacy she can't help but be curious as Wanda seemed to be holding that card the whole night, so R opens it and reads it and immediately feels guilty about invading privacy but then realizes what it is about and it's clear Wanda feels so strongly and passionately about someone (you decide if R figures out who it is about 👀).

Maybe who R was talking to after her performance was a classmate or just a friend showing up in support, and they encourage you to go after Wanda and clear things up.

(Or maybe R just goes about the rest of the day, doesn't chase after Wanda nor contacts her for days, but R does notice how different Wanda seems, unsure of herself and low spirited, so different to who wrote such a passionate poem and you hate seeing her like that, even thoughyou feel you should keep your distance, she's becoming so different from the Wanda you feel in love with and it worries you so much)

Cheerleader!Wanda is so angsty and even tho she fucked up I still think she's such a baby and should have her happy ending 🤧

linked

ohhh i was planning on going back to this once i was able to theorize with all the horny wanda asks but i thought ab it a lot after my recent drabble

yes for sure, r has never really seen wanda so shy, because she's never really been a shy person i guess? she's always been really confident and sure about things, because she doesn't have anything new going on... until i suppose she started falling in love with you and that was new to her!! so you got to see her more vulnerable and shy :3 but even when she visited you to see you play, you could tell she was feeling really unsure of herself and hesitant. because she's tried to talk to you before, you know she expected to have a longer conversation with you once she came

i think it would be really cute if r noticed wanda drop it and kept debating on whether to read it, because you don't wanna give into liking her again like you did before and you also know that she didn't give it to you for a reason

at the end you decide to return it to her, and wanda again then has a choice of whether to keep it or to give it to you! she ends up giving it to you and says that she wanted to write a little poetry because she knows you love it and wanted to be creative for you as a gift for your gig at the restaurant :3 it's a big milestone since your breakup, since you are reminded of why you ever felt so fond of her

but it's also a new side of her you haven't really seen, because wanda was only beginning to explore being vulnerable to you when she started getting serious about your relationship

so it's like you're falling in love with the real her this time... (which is crazy because that means you loved her when she was at her worst too)

[tigerdrop]

Got any fun thoughts to share about Ford and Bill?

they drive me crazy dude. i have a lot to say about them so im putting it under a readmore

ive been billpilled for 1 million years dog. hes like the Blueprint. bills the perfect entity to me: terrifying shapeshifting demon who can slip into every corner of your mind and read all your thoughts and memories. and also hes a cartoon character with noodle arms and a cute shape. and hes a pathetic worm whos hung up on his human ex. and hes a funny little guy whos playful and mean and delights in tormenting you but juuuust enough so that he doesnt break you. Hes so awesome

like. listen. this isnt going to be a surprise if youve read literally anything ive ever written. but if bill possessed ford and slammed his hand in a car door and got a kick out of it and put him in a funny little outfit id be fine about it. ford was literally in a 24/7 freeuse lifestyle with him so why WOULDNT he

yeah im kind of a masochist. Why do u ask

put his ass in a horny neurotic guys body and see what happens. hit his dick with a cartoon mallet for fun. slap him around a little. feels cool and neat! like "human bodies are so responsive, huh" said while blanfords about to jam a fork into an outlet (thats my name for it btw. Im not looking it up)

what if i hurt you?? what if i dropped you??? Just kidding :-)

i dont know how much genuine sexual pleasure bill would get out of it so much as the thrill and novelty of a new human sensation but i think that could be fun in and of itself. jacking off with another guys body in a weirdly distant way like Haha Wow. Im getting kind of flustered here! (actively jamming a coke bottle into his pussy)

and the thing that really drives me crazy about ford is how much fetish shit he thinks about/makes inventions for/has inflicted upon him. i think in the series finale hes tied up like 3 fucking times. its insane. he wants to give up control of his body so fucking bad dude!!!!! (exhibit A: ford going limp like a kitten whenever hes picked up. it happens more than once.)

and theres even more contrived bondage bits in the deleted scenes! its maddening. hes an insane obsessive bdsm-lifestyling pervert and hes likethe ideal guy to match bills freak

hes soooo fucking easy. its so much fun to me. theres something really erotic about the way bill makes him feel special about his hands......like.......its naked flattery but its also kinda true. its weird. he likes weird shit. and ford falls for it soooo easy. drives me nuts

now walk with me. think about how easy that same interaction would transfer to ford being transgender. and your not allowed to get mad at me bc this is just my thing now

its so strange! kind of captivating. bills been around the block but the western conception of transmasculinity is so recent that for him it might as well be a blink of the eye. so i think it would be new to him. especially given when he actually makes a deal with ford. just another special thing about his special little guy. he *knew* there was something about ford

and to be frank i think that if you were a transmasc pervert in the 70s and a dream demon came along that understood you inside and out and can make all of your bizarre fantasies come true. well. you would have been fucking stupid not to fuck him

i need to read the book of bill so fucking bad bc the extra context of bill being super hung up on ford drives me CRAZY!!!! i love bitter lovestruck jerks. i love divorce. and i think they could and should hook up again. bad guys that are reluctantly forced to stop being so bad are so much fun and fords huge fucking ego didnt go anywhere. i think bill could convince ford to give him a second chance. at least just to hook up for old times sake

anyway. im making a bill itabag. Gotta go

[skunkes]

i know this is a very personal question, so feel free to ignore this one if youd prefer. but happened that youve been referring to recently for causing you to lose hope in your future? im only asking as someone who related to a lot of your struggles with trying to move out and become independent from unsupportive parents but was able to squeak my way out and want to give input if possible, but if its not my place to ask i understand! either way, im hoping the best for you always.

id avoided talking abt it in depth before the bad news bc i was afraid id get Bad Energy sent my way but i guess it didnt matter anyway LOL

IN THE SHORTEST OF TERMS: i was passed on for a jawb.

now i know that this isn't uncommon. im finding it hard to tell people about it without embarrassment because well, duh, being rejected is a common thing for job hunting. even qualified people are having trouble. "ive applied to 100 jobs and not gotten any interviews" etc etc.

the heartbreak comes from it being an opportunity where I had everything going for me. not only did it sound like a perfect and doable job for cheye which is already insanely difficult, had good benefits and environment, but my friend also works there and she put in a good word for me to her higher up, who then put in a good word for me to HER higher up. her usual work stories had me feeling confident about potential interviews and who i'd be working with and potentially interviewed by. they have someone working a similar position who also had 0 relevant degrees/experience. there were no other applicants. navigating this new life would have been so much more doable with my friend in the same immediate environment. etc. i didnt even make it to the first round. which sucks bc i know I could have won them over with my personality had i made it there.

if i bombed so badly with all this extra extra help then what hope is there for me in any other scenario. even if i did manage to find something else and get hired it'd be way harder for me to show up to an interview (friend was gonna take me if it happened), or be confident in my moving out (what if i hate any other workplace and have to quit and move back immediately or something, proving my parents who dont even want me to escape right lmfao), or anything.

honestly im kind of relieved because every day i was back and forth on what id do if i did get hired. the burden (on everyone) of moving out and furnishing my life.

but at the same time it is now unendingly hitting me because the thought of making it out was the only thing keeping me going, closest ive ever gotten to anything as someone with 0 prospects. now im very very aware of what i dislike about living here as i continue to live it ykwim. and very aware about my path to T being cut off once more. aware of the health issues i wont be getting fixed any time soon. the art i have to get out despite general fatigue + exhaustion to keep the insurance i do have. the life i wont be living even if i so badly still fear it.

worst part is that dis hasnt changed anything lol im still not going back to college or looking into certs or careers or even trying to get good enough at driving to be able to drive out of town by myself to visit friends or be alone for a bit or anything. i dont want anything that badly. i dont want anything at all. so i cannot complain. alas.

[laniusbignaturals]

i MUST hear more about your arcade/caesar grossfic. they compel me So Much and everything youve posted about them only draws me in more

(Gonna insert my answer to this ask in here too, since they’re about the same topic.)

Well, I certainly appreciate the interest from both of you, and whenever it gets done I expect to post it on AO3. I’ll be sure to drop a link on this blog, of course.

As for the content, it’s.

Well.

It’s chugging along!

The Producer, also called Arcade Makes Bad Decisions: The Fic is the most recent addition to the WIP purgatory I’ve been collecting since I last finished a writing project two months ago. It will hopefully break the streak, since I’m still actively writing it. In the fic, Arcade has a prolonged emotional episode on the anniversary of his father’s dad’s death, which he’s spending separated from people with overlapping life experience (like his mom and Daisy) while working to become a research nurse. He ends up lingering in a part of town he’s not used to, meeting Edward, and having a one night stand with him. Interspersed throughout are flashbacks to Edward at the age of 35, as old as Arcade is in the present. Back then, he was presenting as much more of an overtly dangerous, untrustworthy thug than the beguiling, image conscious slimeball that takes advantage of Arcade’s extended breakdown for some fleeting sexual contact. The non-chronological order adds enough suspense that I feel comfortable calling it porn with plot, but ultimately what it comes down to is just that. Mildly distressing porn, decorated with some themes of performative masculinity, stress addiction, and cultural stigma.

I’m gonna make a concerted effort not to post any supplementary material to the fic (stuff like the playlist, the header image drafts, etc) before the damn thing itself gets done, because I really need to stop letting these WIPs die on the vine once I’ve had my fun with imagining them. Always good to know that there’s an audience, though. Thank you!

[delliebre]

what the f i just stumbled upon ur profile today and i have to say its the most gorgeous art ive ever seen im being serious i am in absolute awe.. i need to have it hanged on my wall omg you are so talented!! if you dont mind could you share a little bit about your art journey/how long youve been actively practising and how you found your style?

Hiii wow thank you!! I had made an art journey post a few months ago but deleted it I think.. but basically I started like how most artists do with paper and stuff. I began as a small child, inspired by my father, wanting to impress him and to overall create things.

I have been actively practicing digital art since 2018 that is when I got a drawing tablet and wanted to seriously improve.

See my instagram acc: nonnydoge. Most of my old works from when I was...12 to now? Idk but I kept some up despite embarrassment. The first ones I did on my phone I loved using Ibispaintx but I started digital art with the sony sketch app.

I have always loved thick-like brushwork in art. But I thought I should not pursue it because I was not very good and pursuing a style before finding footing in fundamentals, I knew, was not how I wanted to stump myself. So I did not focus much on style for years as means to improve. But I felt really bad each time I made high detail, rendered work... despite how silly and stupid that sounds. It was not the look I wanted to create with.

I look up to some artists with high quality, super detailed work, but I do not want to create like that. My favorite painting I have done, it is an acrylic painting I did in like 10 minutes... it is simple.

I am a nerd lol I get emotional looking at some paintings of trees simply because they are painted so well.

I just really love looking at paintings that do not do all the work for me. I love finding it. I love mess.

And yet when I create work that is like that, I still feel really bad. I think others will then think I do not even know how to "render" or detail. But I can... I have done it for years.. and it is my own self-doubts and insecurity that stop me often from just leaving paintings that are messier, that I enjoy the look of... so I end up rendering them further, pushing them into a style that, when it is done and I step back from, I hate.

It is stupid. I feel bad when I create high-detail, sharp work, and I feel bad when I create messier, painterly work... I think then you can understand my hatred for my art every day lol....

It does not help with the things I have been told, either, since creating looser work :/

But anyway. It took maybe 3 years for me to feel a bit happier since starting with ps in 2018 with my improvement. I think my most popular work is from 2021? It is detailed. I do not think it is bad, I just do not, and I know at the time did not, want to draw like that and was upset with myself at the end of it.

2018 - 2021 so 13-16 here

but this is also a 2018 😂:

In checking the profile, you can determine when I started to make "decent" work lol.

In recent years, I have not been "grinding" learning art any much more.. I am just coasting ig even tho ik I shoulddd be practicing more. My friends, like, everyday practice for HOURS in a discord call and wow I don't even like drawing for more than 30 mins☠️ Sometimes I join them but they are just my podcast lol I love them and their art <3

anyway.. I am SO happy that when i was 17 I made this blog because it allowed me to draw and post humans more!

Thank you again!!

I am very thankful for all who have been so kind to me and my art!! I never would have imagined!! I also never would have imagined my absolute favorite digital painters, those who I have looked up to since beginning my journey saw my art and followed me!!!

It is crazy.

Yeah I feel like an absolute shit artist every day LOL but still I do appreciate everyone who is kind to me I am just my biggest hater and doubter.