#i know this nose is the artist's style but also

[chaosandwolves]

KYM KYYYYYYYYMMM

I'm losing my mind over this

I usually stay away from stills before a new ep but I saw you tagging me and was like.... Oh this must be something good

And HOLY SHIT

Honestly at one point I need the costume and set department to do a in depth interviews, favourably with you as the interviewer

Cause DAMN

Ppl always act as if we're reading too much into things but I really don't think so

Everyone involved in the creation of the show is an artist with intentions etc

And if nothing else, when the writer and producer of OFMD said that he was impressed how the fandom picked up on all the symbolism even the one they only incorporated for themselves... That was the point where I was like... SEE they DO have thoughts behind every detail

I fucking LOVE your analysis' cause fuck that's art to me. All of it. From their intentions to your interpretation... I'm LIVING for stuff like this. Gods

It’s all about reverting Eddie and about protection and conformity and trying to fit his parents expectations. This is Eddie under siege and preparing to be under the same attack as before.

You don't even have to be as deeply into the show and analysing every bit of it like we are and do to see how loud this is. It's so obvious how he suddenly looks like s2 Eddie, like El Passo Eddie

This is amazing

*

So basically its symbolic of his El Paso existence - its decreasing appearances throughout season 2 as Eddie adjusts and settles into LA shows that change and growth in him from the Eddie of El Paso we get to meet in Eddie begins who is wearing so much check and has his hair in this same style.

Omg

Like yes I know that old Eddie /El Passo Eddie wore a lot of check but it was more like in the back of my mind and the decrease of it over s2... I was also just subconsciously aware of this.

*

This is Eddie having Buck close even in his absence - all the blue is a list Buck to a certain extent, but this napkin especially - its hidden - not that visible to the others, but Eddie has a touchstone with Buck through that napkin - it is the Eddie equivalent of Buck saying Eddies name 500 times in the last episode

I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS

The fact that it's hidden, a silent reminder, a silent support for Eddie

But also it's hidden cause Eddie is still suppressing that part

And the fact that the curtains are blue... Like there is so much in that itself...

I'm gnawing at my walls !!!

*

the fact that in these stills she is either always looking at Chris (even when Eddie is looking at her)

HELENA DIAZ HATE APPRECIATION 😂😂

911 IF YOU REDEEM HER AS WELL

*

There is a very famous tale by Edgar Allen Poe called ‘The black cat’ which is an allegory for self justification and the black cat is the prism through which the narrator explores the twisting of reality to fit the narrative one wants it to be.

I love your knowledge. I love the costume department.

I need to know whether that was their thought behind this cause it's BRILLIANT

*

What these stills from both this scene and the kitchen one are doing is showing us that they are scenes focused on the Helena of it all - the major thing Eddie truly needs to deal with

Again... IF THEY DARE TO REDEEM HER

But finally FINALLY this is gonna be adressed and Eddie can free himself of this and of her and also free Chris fom her

Gods I really can't stand this woman

*

But it also does one other thing - the play on the car name - Denali - with denial - its also a symbol of denial no longer being an option going forwards - for Eddie, or for Buck (the only other person we have seen in this truck).

This is almost too on the nose for 911

I bet they're gonna say the word "Denali" over and over again, to really drive it home

But omg, true about Buck being the only one ever shown in the car and when it was in direct relation to Eddie moving away and both not being able to deal with it and not being able to adress the silence between them

Also I know it's a usual thing but that (not quite rainbow) coloured pennant flag string right above Eddie...

I'm also wondering if we're gonna get a car crash with him on the way back after all

Overall I'm so fucking hyped now for this ep

Like this is insanity

I also love that the focus doesn't seem to be on Chris but Eddie and his parents and Helena in particular cause GODS

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY we're addressing all this

Also the way you can see that Chris isn't too happy overall and you mentioning him becoming a tiny Eddie and EXACTLY

There is no other way this could've played out tbh and I'm so happy to see that they're showing this

Aaaahhhh

Thank you so much for writing this all out and sharing this with us and for tagging me!!!

This is amazing

I love stuff like this SO MUCH

So I am feeling insane about all the yellow and blue around Eddie in El Paso and so I am making it everyone else’s problem by writing a meta on the stills - it will be a bit of speculation based on my colour theory knowledge and the previous costuming of the show, but I always enjoy writing these and then seeing how close I was when we have full context - so I hope you all enjoy! Also - I got carried away and went on a deep dive so this is ridiculously long!! 😬

Firstly though we need to talk about his hair and the return to the helmet hair of yesteryear Eddie - the loss of the floppy floopy bit that broke free as Eddie danced around his living room and was front and centre as Eddie turned to look back at buck - gone - swept up into place with gel - this is El Paso Eddie - the army Eddie - the Eddie at war - protecting his head with a helmet in the form of his hair. It’s all about reverting Eddie and about protection and conformity and trying to fit his parents expectations. This is Eddie under siege and preparing to be under the same attack as before. Its not quite as rigid as we saw it in the begins scenes, there is still some softness to it - giving us a hint that Eddie is not that same person he was back then, and that he’s not got things quite as fixed down as he had before, but we likely won’t see a hair fall over his forehead unless he’s in a less fraught scene (video call with Buck maybe) or until he has dealt with Shannon’s ghost, Chris’s trauma, his own trauma and his parents (mom) fully. Only then can he be his true self and let his hair be free!

I obviously am screaming about the fact we have Eddie in a yellow toned shirt - it’s yellow ochre, brown and cream check and it’s being very loud! The check pattern is very clearly telling us that things are not going to to go well for Eddie in this scene - and in El Paso more widely based on the fact we see him in check pattern more than once in the stills - the blue check shirt also playing into the theme of change and that change not being easy. Check on out mains is usually ultimately a good thing - it’s about getting them off the path they are on and onto a new one - correcting a wrong course etc. So here to have Eddie in check and yellow (or blue) check at that is pretty much telling me that this is the show getting Eddie on the right path - that he’s been on the wrong one but now he is on the right one for him.

I’ve written extensively about how yellow and blue coding has been used by film and television since colour film and tv has been a thing - and how it became a thing due to the wizard of Oz - I’ve also written extensively about that film and 911 and about Eddie and the significance of yellow and him and also about the importance of Buck and blue - all these metas can be found linked on my pinned post if you want to give them a read!

But what is the colour meaning of yellow I hear you cry - well it has many meanings and it all depends on the shade of yellow we’re talking about - the shade and tone of any colour determines some of its meaning. Every colour can be warm or cool toned and can be bright or dull, rich or pale and all of those factors have connotations attached to them. The warmer brighter and or richer the colour the more positive meaning it tends to have (there are some exceptions such as a very bright green which is generally viewed as toxic or poisonous and has negative connotations attached to it despite sitting in the bright rich and warm toned spectrum!)

Yellow is a colour of communication, cheerfulness, it is connected to the logical part of the brain and is therefore a symbol of intellect, clarity, and perception. However it can also mean anxiety, sickness, fear and cowardice as well as impulsiveness and caution.

The scene in the Diaz kitchen is full of yellow - its everywhere and the lighting is yellow toned (at the cooler end of the yellow lighting spectrum) but the biggest thing is the walls being this pale yellow. Paler more pastel yellows are associated with the negative traits of yellow more than the positive ones - so malaise and sickness, anxiety, and cowardice. The fact the room is yellow and blue is one of the most interesting things to me as someone who was going on about the fact the kitchen was yellow and red back in season 5 when Eddie had that conversation with his dad.

As you can see in the two pictures below, the walls were a darker more ochre toned yellow with both a darker brown toned red (the cabinets) and a brighter red (the curtains). This is a real contrast to the paler yellow and the blue we now have in the Diaz kitchen and it all goes to prove that Both Ramon and Helena are meant to represent aspects of Eddie - Ramon Eddies heart and Helena Eddies head or mind.

Because Ramon is a physical representation of Eddie heart - so the red accents make complete sense for that scene. It’s a play on the heart - and the use of two different shades of red - one concentrated around Ramon and one around Eddie is all about playing on the concept of health v not healthy (we actually see the same thing in the previous scene in this kitchen - when Eddie arrives - Ramon is in front of the darker rend and the lighting is darker while Eddie is more brightly lit and the brighter red is around him) The darker more brownish toned red is around Ramon - a symbol of poor health - of deoxygenated blood - which has a browner colouring and its also the colour of drying blood. This is a play on time - missing out on things and on Ramon representing the old way of thinking for Eddie - basically a symbol that his upbringing was not a healthy one.

Whilst all the red around Eddie is much brighter and vibrant - blood full of oxygen is brighter red and where the brown toned red is symbolically closer to death the brighter red is more energetic and suggestive of life. The set design is literally playing on the theming around hearts and heart health that we saw connected to Eddie all season. It is helping to tell us that Eddies way is the right way for the future, especially as it is combined with the green foliage print on that red background - green being a symbol of growth, while the yellow walls are more positive toned because it is a richer brighter colour - indeed it actually is pretty much the same shade of yellow as Eddies yellow shirt - the one from the lasagne scene and the confessional scene (both of which come later - but that makes them all the more interesting!) that is Eddies shade of yellow and it is the first time we really see Eddie surrounded in some way by that particular shade of yellow. Along with the yellow cup sitting between Ramon and Eddie, it is just further proof for the yellow and Eddie theory and that it is not only a symbol of his underlying queerness, but of his truest self - at its healthiest.

He is able to forgive Ramon and move forward - vowing to be a better person - not for Chris, but for himself - that is huge growth for Eddie at that point in his arc so that yellow being there is key - the fact it follows through and transfers onto him at the stat of season 6 is indicative of that growth and embracing of self having stuck. The fact we then see it go backwards as s6 progresses (especially after Bucks death and resurrection but that is a meta for another day!) leading us into season 7’s insane events before we get the reappearance of the yellow (the same shirt) as Eddie tries to recapture that self growth - so that he can reach a point of being able to work through things with Chris - which is where we have reached now - Eddies still wearing the darker yellow - suggesting that growth is still there and part of who he is, but the paler yellow he is surrounded by now is indicative of the work he needs to do outside of himself

It is also worth noting the blue table runner that sits between Eddie and Ramon in this scene as well - because Ramon never touches the blue - but Eddie does

So to have the kitchen go from this darker, stronger more positive yellow to now become this pale and sickly yellow when we’re about to have Eddie dealing with Helena - who is a representation of Eddies mind - is very telling. We are playing on the idea that Eddies mental health is not great right now and that is what he needs to fix. The other thing to note about this yellow is that it is the same colour as the exterior of the Diaz house - as we saw in the begins episode mostly but also briefly in the background of the retirement party in 517 - its all playing into a permeating malaise engulfing Eddie - its always in his background - its always been lurking and hasn’t been confronted. So yes it’s yellow and that’s a good thing. But it’s a bit like the darker - navy- blues we kept seeing on Buck (and still do to a certain extent) when he’s following his colour but in the wrong direction compared with the lighter brighter blue when he’s on the right path.

The fact it is the kitchen - the heart of the home - is what makes the use of yellow and blue in combination espeically key here, because for me the yellow is likely going to be playing into the idea of cowardice on multiple fronts - that Eddie is not yet able to confront what he needs to, that Chris is not in a place where he is prepared to have the actual conversation he needs to have with his dad, that Helena and probably Ramon will be too cowardly to Suport Eddie and his needs - to recognise their own failings and mistreatment of Eddie in this situation. Whilst also calling back to the overall family trait of running away when faced with a situation you don’t like or know how to handle maturely (Chris gets some grace here as he is still a child and has learned a behaviour from his family!).

But we also have the blue is framing the windows (and being present in a lot of other places but its the curtains that are the most obvious blue in the scene) - windows are symbolic in and of themselves - they are connected with transition and perspective or obstruction and also as a source of illumination and we’ve seen the show using glass and windows (or even peep holes) to great effect - using glass as a barrier but also something that can be crossed and as a way of gaining perspective. The windows here are shrouded, but they let in a lot of light - they are illuminating - and therefore this scene is likely to be an illuminating one - most likely into the struggles that lie ahead for Eddie. But all the windows also suggest that he is entering a period of transition. The fact those things are surrounded by blue - a calming colour associated with honesty and commitment, security and protection, trust loyalty and support. It is also a conservative colour and can tend towards passiveness and avoiding confrontation.

In combination with the check that Eddie is wearing, I’m expecting this scene to end on a tense note and with Eddie not actively doing anything to resolve his issues - it feels very much like its the set up for Eddies arc and nothing close to a resolution in any form - its going to be about showing the audience all the things Eddie has to resolve before LA is a possibility again.

As for his shirt - its yellow ochre - along with the brighter toned shades of yellow it trends much more towards the positive end of the yellow spectrum - so the communication and logic, clarity and intellect and cheerfulness. In combination with the brown - which is one of the colours the show is using as an overarching theme this season - its telling us that Eddie is attempting to create stability and an new foundation from which to build his future. Brown is a colour of stability, foundations, enrichment, reliability, wisdom, support and honesty. It can also be seen a dull or boring as well as conservative, loneliness and isolation.

All things that apply to Eddie right now - the stability and foundation meaning comes from the earth being brown and it being where seeds are planted - bringing about new growth (but not actually being growth) - which is exactly what Eddie is trying to do in El Paso - he also thinks Chris has stability in El Paso and that has left him feeling isolated and alone. The other thing with this shirt (and the later blue one) is that this is very much the Eddie of old - this shirt and style - just go look at any of the Eddie flashback scenes - especially in Eddie begins and you will see a series of shirts just like it. Eddie does not wear check patterning all that often - we see it popping up from time to time in season 2, but then not again until we hit Eddie begins when we see lots of it - and then it disappears again until we get the blue and black check patterned shirt when he calls Marisol at the end of season 6. So basically its symbolic of his El Paso existence - its decreasing appearances throughout season 2 as Eddie adjusts and settles into LA shows that change and growth in him from the Eddie of El Paso we get to meet in Eddie begins who is wearing so much check and has his hair in this same style. The check is all but gone from his life - until he calls Marisol - when it reappears and proves that that is Eddie acting on old expectations - connected to El Paso - and therefore his parents expectations for him. So this yellow and brown shirt is all about signalling that Eddie is reverting back to who he was - whilst being on a new path and that he will be somewhat isolated in this scene, that his return to El Paso is about starting again - building from the foundation up, but that he is doing so by forcing himself back into the skin he wore before he moved to LA.

Ok on to the other things I have spotted in this scene firstly lets go back to the blue because it extends far beyond the curtains! Blue is Bucks colour and it’s always around Eddie - far more than any other character in the scene. There is the blue curtains I’ve already talked about, but there is also blue placemats and the dish towel Eddie is holding is blue striped. A lot of the little touches are blue - like the tiles above the sink or the background of the heart art above the door and the various blue jars we can see.

Amazon box still

Even the tape on the amazon box is blue coloured - and it’s teal/aqua when we see the other amazon product placement boxes (see the car sales still!) which suggests they deliberately chose the blue in this scene to help with the blue theming. Eddie is not the only one constantly surrounded by blue, but he is more than any other character in that scene from what we can tell from these stills, but he is the only one constantly in contact with something blue (that isn’t their clothing - not counting jeans or dresses etc here) - the amazon box, the dish towel, and the fact that the napkins are blue and Eddie is the only one with one on his lap (it swaps legs but this show doesn’t know continuity!!) the fun thing about that napkin is that with the yellow shirt it gives us a fun parallel to Buck (yes I am probably clowning a bit here, but go with me!)

Because my guess is this is the first scene we’re going to see Eddie with Chris, Helena and Ramon in together since Chris left at the end of 710 - when Buck was wearing yellow ochre trousers and a navy blue top. Who is now wearing a yellow ochre top and has something navy in his lap?? Yes - we have a reverse colouring going on here. This is Eddie having Buck close even in his absence - all the blue is a list Buck to a certain extent, but this napkin especially - its hidden - not that visible to the others, but Eddie has a touchstone with Buck through that napkin - it is the Eddie equivalent of Buck saying Eddies name 500 times in the last episode - and Buck is probably not going to get much of a mention here if at all in this scene - but we still have him present in some way through colour coding. The fact that its hidden under the table - its all about the suggestion that Eddie may end up feeling alone at that table, but he isn’t - Buck is there for him - not physically present, but always having his back even from 800 miles away - its also a play on the yellow/blue queer coding and the fact that Eddies feelings for Buck are currently hidden - but that fact we the audience can see that blue napkin is a low key nod to that fact that those feelings are there - along with the Buck watch being very visible and a connection to LA and the life he has given up.

Ok last thing from this scene is Helena being in fuchsia - have to admit when I saw her in that colour in these stills I laughed out loud becasue the colour fuchsia has some very specific colour meanings attached to is and they perfectly sum up Helena Diaz! It’s a colour of certainty, confidence, and strong beliefs, self willed and arrogant, controlling, manipulative, and opinionated. It does also have connections to nurture and maternal instincts.

So it is a colour that really helps to tell us who Helena Diaz is and what her motives are - especially in this scene, where we are likely to see much of that come into play - we see her seated on both sides of the table, and even though we have zero context right now, in the image below it is clear that her focus is on Chris and the hand on his shoulder feels more controlling - the fact that in these stills she is either always looking at Chris (even when Eddie is looking at her) or in contact with him physically and the only time we see her looking at Eddie is when he is on the other side of the room and his back is to he - making it clear where her maternal instincts lie.

Onto Chris and his very interesting colour coding in these stills. Chris does wear a fair amount of grey across the seasons of 911, but there are usually in t-shirt form and bearing a brightly coloured logo - which is always connected into Eddie or Chris’s arc in some way for the season and the bright colours of those means the grey is really there as a neutral background. But now we have him in that neutral grey - but with a black logo - its all much more washed out and muted than we’ve seen Chris in before now - and it carries on the theme we’ve seen in the video chats where his colours have been muted and washed out (and lots of that El Paso check!!)

The black logo, which is on his back rather than the front is the face of a big cat - a panther/puma most likely. Now there are several potential meanings to the use of this black cat/panther. There is a very famous tale by Edgar Allen Poe called ‘The black cat’ which is an allegory for self justification and the black cat is the prism through which the narrator explores the twisting of reality to fit the narrative one wants it to be. Its an exploration of Jungian psychology - which interestingly was heavily focused on the concept of repression - of ones self, personality and instincts - which when this repression of self builds up it is likely to explode in a destructive way (tell me this doesn’t;t sound like Eddies s7 arc I dare you!!) more generally black cats or panthers symbolise power, darkness, death and rebirth and resilience in many cultures. This suggests those are elements we will be seeing in Eddie and Chris’s arc. The concept of the death of their previous relationship with the rebirth of a new one, the play on Shannon’s death creating darkness in their family unit - which still persists - and the ultimate rebirth as a new family unit (also including Buck down the line!) and it also suggests the death and rebirth of the Diaz family more widely - so including Helena and Ramon. The resilience is also a key thing here - both for Chris and Eddie - they are both displaying that trait and it feels likely that it will continue to be one we see as a key part of their arc.

The neutrality of the grey is unemotional and detached and this plays into the idea of being closed off - of Chris being unavailable to Eddie at this point in time - emotionally and communicatively . It is also a pessimistic and indecisive colour which is also in keeping with the likely story arc we’re going to get and are two meanings that do speak to teenage behaviours and feelings. I think it’s a fascinating colour choice to grey Chris out and potentially make the scene more about Eddie, Helena and Ramon - with Chris present but not the thing we should be focused on in the scene.

This muting of Chris’s clothing is also on display in the stills on the veranda - and this costume is such a mini Eddie costume that it speaks volumes. The colour way is all Eddie - we have the brown trousers - which are check patterned, we have a cream tee (which has a logo of some sort on but I can’t see what it is from these stills!) and a hoodie jacket that is stitched in a denim jacket style but is a heavy weight jersey knit fabric and in a khaki green which is very much in Eddies colour wheel! The fact he is in muted colours that are straight out of the Eddie Diaz colour book and the fact he is also playing chess - its all about paralleling Eddie himself. Eddie has worn this type of green both as a piece of colour coding denoting his military past, but also as a sign that he’s at war with himself in some way - its most obvious display of this was his breakdown scene and his subsequent battle with his depression. Therefore this costume is reflective of him being like Eddie - it’s speaking of underlying unhappiness (and trauma), but it is also a play on running away - as his parents both did. Eddie is the stronger parallel for the obvious reason that he is the main character here not Shannon - plus the fact that Eddie went to war - making the addition of the game of chess a key part of the narrative and connection to Eddie. Chess is a game of war and strategy is suggestive of Chris being at war (the battle is internal) - which is caused by his trauma - but its also indicative that he has only been getting support on that front from Ramon - the act of him teaching Chris chess is a play on the idea of him teaching him coping strategies. It is placing Ramon in a much better position than Helena - at least Ramon is trying to help Chris - something established back in 8a and the only one we’ve been shown/ told is doing something with Chris that is an attempt to help him. Helena has just been shown posturing and talking a big talk (putting in a swimming pool) but none of that has been about Chris in reality.

The entire scene is intriguingly set up - in part because it appears to be at Eddies new house - his fixer upper - with its peeling green trim and doors and general run down appearance. We also see Eddie in a dark maroon/brown shirt - with no watch in sight - which is very telling to me at least - I’m undecided as to if its mean to indicate the lack of time, or if its absent because this scene will really start to dig into past Eddie and the relationship he has with his mom especially and therefore there is no need to play on time - we’ll find out when we see the episode. The maroon/ brown is yet more brown to add to the season colour theme, but its maroon undertones really fits it into the parental maroon colour theme the show uses with most characters, but especially with Eddie - the fact it is so brown toned is playing along similar lines to the reds in the kitchen from 517 - and that’s pushing me towards thinking that this scene will be doing something of the exploring Eddie being parentified by Helena (and Ramon) when he was a child himself that this is about fixing or starting to fix that part of things rather than it being centred on Chris. That it is about Eddie going back to the beginning to be able to correct and repair his present and future.

Helena is in a floral shirt and white and this pale blue that does have a slightly lavender undertone to it. Shes very much in contrast to Eddie here - her colours are cold and closed off and she sits in start contrast to all the colours around her - Eddies brownish maroon is in the same total pallette as the background - the house, the furniture and the wall hanging, even Chris and Ramon sit withing that colour pallette as well. But Helena - like her fuchsia cardigan from the previous stills, stands out from her surroundings. The blue being a cold tone makes it conservative and impersonal and also predictable, but the fact that it makes her stand out is the key here - its sets things up as her being the focus of the scene - both visually and most likely narratively. What these stills from both this scene and the kitchen one are doing is showing us that they are scenes focused on the Helena of it all - the major thing Eddie truly needs to deal with early on and that’s what is making me excited for this episode and these scenes. The visual framing is all set up ready to go - now we await the other aspects of a scene to reveal more!

Blue check Eddie with is yellow ochre toned binder and the yellow and blue colouring we can see - the cabinet, the flag in the background and the blue chair. It’s giving me calling Marisol shirt vibes from 618 and that’s intriguing to me considering that she turned out to be a former nun - the entire still is giving me either church or church school vibes, but it could also be a fire station and there is a character called assistant chief Jamie De La Cruz - so its entirely possible that it is some form of fire department building - it feels like its going to end up being a not great outcome for Eddie - along with the check pattern helping out on that front - if that’s not being offered a job or being offered one that is going to diminish him in some way who knows, but its not a positive looking set up on the visuals front!

Car lot still my beloved! There is literally soooo much in this one still for me to talk about - all the yellow and blue around Eddie is incredibly loud - literally everywhere - from the stickers on the the car windscreen behind him being predominately yellow and blue, to the light blue wall behind the chainlink fence and rthe blue cladding trim on the building to the left, you can include the yellow and blue bunting if you want to, but there is also pink red and green there so I’m not discounting it, but putting it much lower down in its relevance. And there is the fact that in the refelections in the Denali we can see lots of yellow and blue which I’m sure we’ll see more of in the actual scene. We seem to get a huge amount of yellow and blue colour coding around Eddie at locations connected to cars - especially this season with ‘No place like home’ giving us Eddie at Weston’s Dad’s motor shop with all its very very loud yellow and blue theming in an episode heavily colour themed with yellow and blue.

The fact that link to yellow and blue and cars exists in connection with Eddie and that it is also tied into parents and their children (because 504 also played on that same theme) is interesting to me (and not just because it is also tied into Hen’s arc - the main queer character on the show - and her parenting journey) because the fact this scene seems to be Eddie selling the Denali - a car heavily connected to Shannon and Eddies struggles with his grief ( as well as to Buck - in his bright blue fraying shirt jacket - and his own struggles with the grief of Eddie leaving) - i want to wait until I’ve seen the scene in full, but right now this scene is a really important one in terms of queer Eddie - not necessarily explicitly so, but very definitely in the subtext because this is Eddie letting go of his grief and therefore letting go of Shannon. But it also does one other thing - the play on the car name - Denali - with denial - its also a symbol of denial no longer being an option going forwards - for Eddie, or for Buck (the only other person we have seen in this truck).

And then we get to Eddies outfit in this still. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the wardrobe team - especially when they a repeat an outfit? And have I ever told you how much I love it when that outfit is repeated for a third or even 4th time? Because yes this is in fact the the 4th time we are seeing Eddie in this costume of a western style pearl popper button up denim shirt with dark olive khaki trousers and brown shoes!! Yes that’s s right - the 4th time!

Time no.1 - Abuela’s hospital room at the end of 204 we see Eddie by her bed as Carla brings Chris in to see Abuela - having started working for Eddie - after Buck introduces them. We don;t get to see much of the trousers in the scene, but you can see from this screenshot that the dark olive khaki trousers are there.

Time no. 2 - in Eddie begins we see Eddie fight with his parents and talk on the porch with Chris when they decide to move to LA - It’s also worth pointing out here that the yellow is the same as the yellow in the Diaz kitchen in the new stills. Same pants, trousers, white undershirt, slightly different but still brown boots and the same hand in the pocket vibe!

Time no. 3 - really hard to get a screen shot of this one because we don’t really see the pants and shirt together much, but you can see the pants in the below screen grab and take my word for it that its the same shirt - or rewatch the scene if you’re so inclind. This scene is the ‘welcome back to the land of the living Buck’ scene from 701

There are a few significant things at play here. Most of the scenes when we see Eddie wearing denim are connected to family in some way - Abuela, Shannon, and Buck, and the Diaz parents. Eddie doesn’t wear denim shirts all that much in the grand scheme of the show and that makes their use and particularly the use of a repeat outfit in this way particularlyy important. This outfit is essentially a symbol of being o the right track - on the right path, its s heavily connected to the idea of breaking free or moving forwards in some way. Carla is now there to help Eddie (thanks to Buck) so Eddie is able to fully settle into his LA life and is no longer at risk of proving his parents right - it’s freedom from El Paso and shows that LA is the right path for him - that accepting Bucks help and support is the right path as well.

The fight with Helena and Ramon and the subsequent conversation with Chris is about moving and escaping a situation that is holding you back, Eddie making that choice to move to LA and to not listen to his parents - again it is him on the right path.

The same can be said of the locker room scene with Buck. Buck was being held back by his death, but so too was Eddie. Death had changed their relationship (graveyard scene) and Buck dumping Natalia because all she talked about was death ultimately sets not only Buck free from his death, but Eddie free as well - they can both start living again - and ultimately what this scene is doing is resetting the Buck and Eddie of it all and putting them both on the right path - its about setting buddie in motion which is the longer term right path rather than a more immediate pay off right path (its also a symbolic nod to buddie being free of network restrictions and being allowed to happen with the move to abc).

So having Eddie wearing an outfit that is a symbol of breaking free and setting himself on the right path as he sells the car is likely about him finally breaking free of his grief and anger around Shannon and her death. Its about him finally being able to let her go so both he and she can move on (and Chris as well because Eddie clinging to her ghost has stopped him from grieving properly and has caused him trauma). I’m not saying this scene magically does all of that - just that it is the marker point for Eddie and sets him on his path to healing and moving on and in a more low key way is setting Eddie fully on his path to his feelings realisation that will be the culmination of his letting go of Shannon arc. It is a key indicator of Eddie’s story arc over this episode of the next couple of episodes.

Just to further add credence to this costuming choice. We do see this shirt pop up in season 4 - when Eddie introduces Ana to Chris as his girlfriend - the difference here is that the trousers are light tan rather than the dark olive green - it is an indicator that this path is not the right one - its not the entirely wrong path - as it is technically him trying to move on from Shannon, but its not the right path because he is doing it for Chris and not for himself - trying to provide that mother figure he thinks Chris needs.

And just to get even more unhinged about it we have the boating lake scene with Kim - which is a reverse of the repeat costume - the colours are right - we have the olive green and the dark denim, but its the western style popper button up shirt that is green with the dark denim jeans - its not the right way around and Eddie has got turned about and has taken the wrong path. That his pursuit of a woman who looks like his dead wife is not the way to go about dealing with your grief that you have failed to deal with up to this point. The colours are correct - suggesting that in the same way the wrong colours meant the wrong path for Ana - a minor setback in that instance, that this too is the wrong path - but that its one that will set him back much further!

I”m going to stop writing now - I have gone on far far longer than was my intent and I ended up on several side quests I did not expect to end up on - worthwhile ones as I got to deep dive into Eddies repeat outfit a bit more as well as explore the muting of Christopher and that he’s becoming a mini Eddie visually and really get into the colours of the Diaz kitchen - so all worth it im my book - hopefully you enjoyed it and found it interesting and worthwhile as well - let me know your thoughts in the tags and comments and as always thanks for taking the time to read my very long rambles. I can’t wait to see how it all ends up playing out in the episode!

Tagged people below!

@lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @fruityfirehose @wanderingwomanwondering @livingwherethesidewalkends @buddiediaz118 @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @satvojihusana @elvensorceress @icebergeddie @buckleyanddiaz @eddiedisasterdiaz @kejfeblintz @cookie-kat777 @leothil @bucksbelly @kyoteugly @bi-moonlight @somebodycall911onabc @trudayss @chaosandwolves @lemotmo @buckleyanddiaz

[goldpilot22]

my newest (ish) ocs

butch who digs up bodies to extract and sell their cybernetics on the black market, and runaway doll-something who she gives a makeover to help keep its identity secret (and he ends up really liking being an emo boy)

[jackienautism]

watching a bunch of cant sleep love (eyeballs) animation memes rn and the casual whitewashing (esp within the broadway fandom ones) is so just............ like. [jeremy voice] that is NOT CHRISTINE

[aliyahwritings]

THE CONTRACTED HEART — Rafe Cameron (03)

MASTERLIST | Basketball Player & Model!Female Reader

Summary: Rafe Cameron, a basketball star, needs a marriage to fix his image, while Model!Reader needs one for citizenship. They may be the perfect solution for each other.

Warnings: smut, descriptions of violence, jealousy, usage of drugs, talks about body image/ed, angst, and lots of bickering. Reader is confident, a people-pleaser, has a traumatic past, and is a sunshine with an attitude. Rafe is a whore, possessive, cocky, and secretive about his past.

Word Count: 8.1k words (get ready for #reallove)

Aliyah's Notes: whats that one saying? rainbows before the storm or wtv tf.

You didn’t believe in hatred.

Dislike? Sure. Irritation? Absolutely. But hatred was for people with time to waste, and in your world, every second was precious. Even now, as you posed under the bright lights of your latest Chanel photoshoot, your mind wandered to the few people you disliked.

Rude stylists, overly critical photographs, maybe a couple of models who thought being catty made them superior—but hate? No, that wasn’t your style.

You were in the middle of changing poses when your phone loudly buzzed on the nearby table. You ignored it at first, moving your chin slightly as the photographer directed you. You could answer it later.

“Gorgeous, Y/N! Hold that pose… yeah, just like that!” the photographer called out, camera clicking away.

The phone buzzed again, more insistent this time. You shifted your weight to one side, flipping your hair for the next shot. But the third buzz was enough to make you sigh.

“Alright, take five!” the photographer announced, waving his assistant over.

You stepped down from the set and grabbed your phone, frowning when you saw Rafe Cameron on the screen. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you swiped to answer.

“Finally answering my calls, sweetheart?” his voice came through, cocky and irritatingly smooth.

“Rafe, I’m working,” you replied, as you pulled your robe around yourself. “Not everyone gets paid to play with a ball.”

“Work, huh? I thought posing in front of a camera was more of a hobby.”

“You’re so funny,” you said flatly, glancing back at the crew who were resetting the lights. “What do you want?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “I’m taking you out tonight.”

You snorted. “Excuse me? Did I miss the part where I agreed to go anywhere with you?”

“You didn’t,” he replied, completely unfazed. “That’s what I’m fixing right now.”

You raised an eyebrow, even though he couldn’t see it. “You don’t ‘fix’ things with me, Rafe. You ask, I decide.”

“Is that our dynamic?” Rafe’s tone dripped with amusement. “You sure? Because I remember you agreeing to marry me.”

“That’s business,” you shot back. “Don’t confuse it with me actually wanting to spend time with you.”

“Uh-huh,” he drawled, clearly not buying it. “Business or not, we’ve got a public to convince. Tonight, we’re making our debut as a couple. We wouldn’t want the media thinking you’re too good for me, would we?”

“I am too good for you,” you replied smoothly, your lips quirking up. “But go on.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Dinner at La Belle, 8 PM. Be ready. I’ll pick you up.”

You glanced at the time. Seriously? “Wait, how do you know where I live?���

“I have my sources. I’m a basketball player; I can afford to have a few eyes on my future wife.”

“Creep,” you mumbled, ignoring the flutter of annoyance in your stomach. “And what makes you think I’m free tonight?”

“Because you’re talking to me instead of saying no.”

“I haven’t said yes, either.”

“You will, though. I can hear it in your voice.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re delusional.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, a smug edge in his tone. “But I’m also persistent.”

You exhaled through your nose, staring at your reflection in the vanity mirror as the makeup artist approached with a fresh brush. The look you gave yourself was somewhere between amusement and exasperation. “Fine.”

There was a pause, and you could almost hear the smirk stretching across his lips. “See you tonight.”

Before you could respond, he hung up, leaving you scowling at the screen.

“Everything okay?” your stylist asked, glancing at your reflection with a raised brow. She has been listening in.

You plastered on a smile. “Yeah… Just…  a guy, you know.”

She snorted. “Sounds like he’s already giving you headaches.”

“Don’t even get me started.”

Your thoughts swirled as you prepared to finish the photoshoot. Rafe’s voice still rang in your eyes. Dinner at La Belle? You weren’t sure why he frustrated you so much—you weren’t like this. Being optimistic and smiley was your trademark, it was who you were, but whenever Rafe was mentioned or around he made you snappy and full of attitude… and you didn’t know why. 

Hours passed in a blur of flashing cameras and outfit changes, and soon enough, it was nearing 7:30. Maya, your stylist, was packing up the last of your things when she gave you a look. “You better get going if you’re gonna make that date.”

“You’re right,” you muttered, checking your phone for the first time in hours. “Oh my God! I have 30 minutes—I gotta go bye, Maya.”

“Bye, girl,” she laughed and waved. “I hope you get dicked—”

“Lalalalala,” you screamed and ran away.

You slipped into your black trench coat and hopped in the car. You texted Rafe.

You: “I might be late. I’m sorry.”

Rafe: “What happened?”

You: “Shooting went overtime.”

Rafe: “Okay.”

You: “You should’ve picked a later time.”

Rafe: “Just get here in one piece. I like my women alive.”

You rolled your eyes, like every time with him, but couldn’t help but smile at his sarcastic tone. You fished out your small makeup bag and quickly powdered your face, adding concealer, mascara, blush, eyeliner, and lipstick. Now, you were one step ahead—ready to slip into an outfit as soon as you got home.

The car pulled up to your apartment, and you rushed into your apartment, your heart raced. You threw open your closet, eyeing the racks of beautiful dresses, each one tempting. 

You finally chose an elegant, sleek black dress that hugged your curves flawlessly, the smooth fabric flowing over your body with a low, scooped neckline. The rich black material shimmered under the light, emphasizing your figure with every movement. In a rush, you worked mousse through your hair, then applied a smoky eye that intensified your gaze, blending shades of charcoal and bronze. The look was bold, and perfectly matched the confidence you were determined to exude tonight.

Your phone buzzed.

Rafe: “You taking too long. I’m coming up.”

A series of sharp knocks echoed through your apartment, almost making you drop your phone. You whipped your head towards the door, quickly adjusting the strap of your dress as you glanced at the clock. 8:20—fuck!

“Give me a minute!” you shouted, frantically slipping on your heels. Your heart raced as you grabbed your earrings, juggling them in your hand while heading towards the door.

When you swung it open, Rafe stood on the other side, leaning casually against the doorframe, wearing that smirk that could only belong to him. His eyes immediately swept over your figure, starting at your legs, up to your waist, your exposed breasts, and finally your face. His gaze lingered, and though he didn’t say anything, the heat in his stare would’ve given you chills down your spine.

You didn’t notice. You were too busy hesitating on what to do with your hair.

“I am not ready yet,” you groaned, stepping aside to let him in. “I got home late, and I haven’t even had time to—ugh. I knew shooting was taking some time but I didn’t think it’d be this much. I’m sorry for making you wait. I swear I’m not usually like this—I hate being late.” You didn’t pause for a breath, just rambled on as you tossed the earrings on the coffee table and made a beeline for your room.

Rafe closed the door behind him, but his attention was fixed on you. He watched as you moved, the dress hugging your ass perfectly, accentuating your hurried movements. The sight of you—flustered, elegant, and completely unaware of his gaze—only deepened the smirk on his face.

“Nice place,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. His gaze followed you down the hallway, where your bedroom was slightly ajar.

Without waiting for an invitation, he stepped through the threshold and followed you inside, finding you in your room—which was the perfect picture of chaos. Clothes were draped over the bed, shoes tossed in random covers, and a vanity table cluttered with makeup. It was the kind of organized mess that only you could make sense of.

Rafe leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed, watching as you rifled through your vanity drawer for something. His eyes swept over the pastel-colored blankets and the flowery décor, stark contrasts to the girl who had been all sass and attitude with him up until now.

But he liked that. It turned him on, for some reason.

“I didn’t take you for the ‘pink floral everything’ type,” he teased, raising an eyebrow.

You shot him a glance through the mirror, briefly pausing from rummaging through your drawer. “And I didn’t take you for the ‘nosy guest who barges into rooms uninvited’ type,” you quipped, raising an eyebrow back at him. Your fingers grazed over a tube of lipstick, which you quickly uncapped and re-applied.

Rafe’s smirk only widened. “What can I say? I’m a man full of surprises.”

“Yeah, well, try surprising me by sitting quietly on my bed like a normal person,” you shot back, giving your lips one final press together before throwing the lipstick into the pile of clutter on your vanity.

Rafe made a show of glancing around your room. “I think ‘normal’ left the building when I saw this,” he said, gesturing to the soft pink pillows and floral patterns that clashed with the image you projected. “Didn’t peg you for the type to have a room that looks like a rom-com set.”

You turned, finally facing him fully, one hand on your hip. “Oh, look, a creep overanalyzing a girl’s bedroom.”

Rafe chuckled. “Just making an observation. It’s cute. A little... princessy for someone who tries to pretend she’s all tough, but hey, I can roll with it.”

You tried to fight the smile threatening to creep up. “First of all, I am tough. Secondly, I like pink, sue me.”

“I’m not complaining,” he said with a wink, his voice dropping a little lower. “You look good in pink.”

You scoffed and turned back to the mirror, fiddling with your dress. “You’re insane.”

Rafe just grinned, watching you trying so hard to look occupied, clearly flustered. “Probably, but I think you like that,” he said, his tone teasing. He stepped closer, now standing right behind you. His presence was warm, and his gaze never left your reflection.

You met his eyes in the mirror, your hands faltering with your hair as his intense gaze locked onto yours. The air between you thickened just a little, but you weren’t about to give in to his charm. “I don’t like anything that involves you, Cameron,” you said, but the words lacked the bite you intended.

He leaned down slightly, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. “I don’t believe you.”

The heat of his breath on your neck made your skin tingle, and for a brief second, you forgot what you were supposed to be doing. But then you snapped out of it, stepping away to grab your perfume from the vanity. “Well, believe this: we’re leaving in five minutes, and I still need to finish getting ready,” you said, your voice firm, though your cheeks betrayed you with a faint flush.

Rafe raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll let you finish...”

As you spritzed the perfume, you caught him eyeing you again, his gaze lingering on your tits. You couldn’t help but shake your head, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Eyes up here, Rafe.”

He shrugged, shameless as ever. “Can’t blame a guy for appreciating the view.” He paused for a beat, then added, “Besides, in five minutes, you’ll be mine for the night.”

You threw him a look that was half-amused, half-exasperated. “Creepy... This is just for show, remember?”

Rafe nodded, and as you finally slipped on your coat, he followed you toward the door, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. “Ready, sweetheart?”

You rolled your eyes again, but this time, there was no hiding the smile. “Yup! Ready, Cameron.”

Rafe’s hand wrapped around your wrist just as you reached for the door, his touch firm but gentle enough to send a flicker of electricity up your arm. You turned, brow furrowed.

“What now?” you sighed, trying to sound annoyed.

He took a step closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “You know what? I think we should practice.”

You blinked, trying to read his expression. “Practice?”

His gaze dipped to your lips for a split second before meeting your eyes again. “Yeah, practice… For when we’re in public,” he said, his voice dropping an octave, almost daring you to look away. “When we’re kissing… we wouldn’t want our kisses to look unconvincing, mmh?”

A laugh bubbled out of you, partly from surprise and partly to keep yourself from being completely thrown off by the heat in his stare. “You’re kidding.”

He raised an eyebrow, inching closer, the space between you shrinking until the scent of his cologne mixed with the tension already thick in the air. “Am I?” His voice was smooth, dripping with amusement, but beneath it, there was something else. Something far more dangerous.

Your breath hitched as you took a step back, your body colliding with the door. “You’re serious...”

Rafe’s smirk widened, but this time it was laced with something primal. “Yeah,” he murmured, leaning in until his lips were just a whisper away from yours. “You look so fucking good tonight, sweetheart.”

Your pulse raced, and for a split second, you considered pushing him away, but your body betrayed you. You stayed there, frozen in the moment, trapped by the intensity in his gaze, the closeness of his body.

Before you could even form a reply, he closed the distance, his lips pressing against yours in a slow, deliberate kiss. It wasn’t the playful, teasing peck you were expecting—it was deep, his hand sliding to the curve of your waist, pulling you flush against him. The kiss was full of fire and heat, a simmering tension that had been building between the two of you since the moment you met.

Your mind went blank, the world outside disappearing as your lips moved against his, as though you had been kissing him forever. His fingers tightened on your waist, and a low moan escaped from the back of your throat, sending a wave of warmth through your entire body.

When you finally broke apart, your chest was heaving, and you could still feel the ghost of his lips on yours. You stared at him, wide-eyed, struggling to catch your breath. Rafe’s blue eyes were dark, his smile gone, replaced by a hungry look that made your stomach twist in knots.

“That was...” you trailed off, trying to find the right word. But nothing seemed to fit.

Rafe’s thumb brushed over your lower lip, wiping away some of your smeared lipstick. “For practice,” he said, his voice rougher than before. “You know… just in case.”

Your heart pounded in your ears, but your brain finally caught up. “Uh-huh,” you mumbled, still feeling the warmth of his thumb on your lip. “Just practice.”

You tried to step away, but his hand was still on your waist, holding you there, his thumb brushing the delicate skin of your hip as if testing the boundaries between you.

“You, uh…” Your voice wavered, and you blinked, trying to find something—anything—to cut through the tension. “You’ve also got lipstick all over you.”

Rafe’s lips twitched into a grin, though his eyes remained locked on yours, full of heat. “I do?”

You nodded, taking a breath to calm your racing pulse. “Here, let me…” Without thinking, you reached up and brushed your thumb across his lips, wiping away the smear of color.

It should’ve been innocent. It should’ve been nothing.

But the moment your thumb touched his lips, Rafe’s eyes darkened even more. He caught your wrist, his fingers wrapping around it gently but firmly, his gaze never leaving yours. The warmth of his skin seeped into you, and the atmosphere between you both thickened, the tension pulling tighter.

You swallowed hard, suddenly hyper aware of how close you were, how your bodies seemed to gravitate towards each other without you even realizing it. The way he was looking at you—like he wanted to devour you—it made you feel dizzy.

His voice was a low rasp when he finally spoke. “You’re killing me here.”

Your breath hitched at the huskiness in his tone, your stomach twisting with nerves and something else entirely. You tried to laugh it off, to shake the moment. “It’s just lipstick, Rafe.”

His thumb brushed over your pulse, the simplest touch sending sparks down your spine. “It’s not the lipstick,” he murmured, his eyes flicking back to your lips.

You bit the inside of your cheek, desperate to break the tension before you did something you’d regret. “You’re all cleaned up now, Romeo. We should go,” you said, your voice shaky but determined.

Rafe’s hand lingered a moment longer on your wrist, his gaze searching yours, as if considering whether or not to push further. But then he dropped your hand, stepping back with a slow, devilish grin. “Yeah,” he said, his voice laced with amusement. “We should.”

You turned toward the door, your heart still racing as you tried to pull yourself together. But even as you reached for the handle, you felt his presence right behind you, his breath ghosting over the back of your neck, sending a shiver through your body.

“I like the dress, by the way,” his tone lighter now but still tinged with the lingering tension.

You glanced back at him. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

Rafe chuckled, his eyes glinting as he opened the door for you. You stepped out into the hallway, your head still spinning from the kiss, from the way he looked at you, from everything. 

He followed closely behind, his presence lingering in the space around like shadows. The elevator doors slid open with a soft ding, and you stepped inside.

“That’s a nice place you’ve got, by the way,” he remarked, his tone casual.

You glanced at him sideways, unwilling to give him more than a passing look. “Thanks, but I’m sure you say that to all the girls you visit uninvited.”

He smiled. “Only the ones I’m marrying.”

“Look at me swooning,” you rolled your eyes as the elevator began its descent, the silence between you settling into something almost comfortable.

The elevator doors opened, and you stepped out quickly, determined to put some space between you and him. But even as you reached the front entrance of your building, Rafe was right behind you, his hand lightly brushing against your back as he guided you toward the black car waiting at the curb.

“Such a gentleman,” you whispered sarcastically.

“I try,” he shot back, opening the car door for you. His eyes gleamed with amusement as he added, “Besides, it’s part of my job as your husband to be a gentleman towards you, right?”

You slid into the car, crossing your legs as you settled into the plush leather seat. “We’re not married yet, you do know that, right?”

“But we will be, so what’s the difference?” he said, slipping into the seat next to you. His arm stretched out along the back of the seat, brushing against your shoulder.

“Well, there’s a big difference actually…” you whispered more to yourself, smoothing down your dress as you glanced out the window, trying to ignore the way his proximity made your pulse quicken.

As the car pulled away from the curb, silence filled the space between you. You weren’t sure if it was the lingering effects of the kiss or the fact that Rafe was sitting so close, but the air felt heavy, charged with something unspoken.

“So, we’re going to La Belle, huh?” you asked, breaking the quiet.

“Yeah, you ever been there before?”

You turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “The five-star restaurant in New York City where all the celebs go to get photographed? Of course, I’ve been there.”

Rafe grinned. “Perfect spot for our big debut, don’t you think?”

“You did your big one, bravo!” you nodded with a smile.

The car pulled to a stop outside of the restaurant, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sight of the flashing lights. Paparazzi filled the sidewalk, their cameras already trained on the car. You took a steadying breath, feeling Rafe’s eyes on you.

“Ready?” he asked, his tone a mix of amusement and something else—concern, maybe.

You let a truthful smile spread across your lips as you met his gaze. “Fuck yeah!”

He laughed, and for a moment, you felt his hand tighten around yours, a subtle gesture of reassurance. The car door opened, and before you could second-guess anything, you felt yourself being gently tugged out into the swirl of flashing cameras, Rafe’s hand warm and steady around yours.

“Rafe! Y/N! Over here!”

“Look this way!”

“Is she your new girlfriend?”

Questions flew around, shouted from all the angles as you made your way toward the entrance. You kept your chin up, smile fixed, the years of modeling training kicking in to keep your expression calm and collected. Meanwhile, Rafe had his arm draped around your waist, his casual confidence almost comforting.

Inside the restaurant, the lighting was dim, intimate—a stark contrast to the chaos outside. The maître led you to a private table in the back corner, and as you slid into your seat, the reality of the situation settled back in.

“I felt like I almost died out there,” you said with a laugh as you glanced at the menu.

“I thought that was fun,” he said, picking up his own menu. “them thinking you’re my girlfriend when you’re about to become my wi—”

Before he could even finish his sentence, a familiar broke through his voice. “Oh, what a surprise, Y/N.”

You froze, looking up to see none other than Alina Ivanov, her polished smile almost too bright as she approached your table. Dressed in a sleek, form-fitting red dress and with her hair swept back in a low chignon, she looked like she belonged here. And, as always, her appearance felt like a subtle reminder of the rivalry she’d always tried to stir between you.

“Alina,” you said, keeping your voice polite but cool. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Rafe’s gaze flickered between you two, sensing the tension immediately. “Friend of yours?”

Alina flashed him a charming smile before turning back to you, her expression a picture of innocence. “We’re worked together a few times,” she said, not missing a beat. “I was just so surprised to see you here. It’s not every day you bring a date to places like this… or just bring dates, period.”

You kept your smile polite, though your jaw was tight. “Unlike you, am I right?”

Her eyes lingered on you for a moment too long before shifting back to Rafe. “And who might you be?”

“Rafe Cameron,” he said, his tone smooth but his gaze sharp.

“I was joking. I know who you are, silly,” Alina said, chuckling softly. “My brothers are huge fans of yours. Always telling me how you’re the one to watch on the court.”

He offered a polite nod. “Glad to hear it.”

There was a beat of silence before Alina leaned in, her eyes glinting as she looked back at you. “So, Y/N, how’s everything going with… your work?” Her tone was light, casual, but the question felt like a dig.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. “Busy as ever.”

“Oh, I can imagine,” she replied, her smile widening. “Things have been so competitive lately. But I’m sure you’re managing.” She tilted her head, her expression turning almost pitying. “Just let me know if you need any tips on balancing everything. We know what happened the last time that you were too stressed.”

For the first time in a long while, she left you speechless. Words hung on your lips, but nothing came out. A slight tremor shook your body as memories flooded back. Alina mentioning that moment…it was like a punch to the gut. You’d convinced yourself everyone had forgotten, buried it in the past. But of course, she hadn’t. How could she? It was the most humiliating, traumatizing experience of your career.

Rafe noticed the shift immediately. He always looked forward to your sharp retorts, the way you never missed a beat with your quick-witted comebacks. But now? He saw something different—a rawness, a vulnerability he hadn’t seen in you before. His chest tightened, a protective instinct flaring up, urging him to shield you from the wound Alina had reopened. He didn’t know what she meant, didn’t need to know. Your face told him everything.

Before Alina could twist the knife any deeper, Rafe stepped in, his voice low but steady, the edge unmistakable.

"Seems like she’s been doing just fine on her own," he cut in, his gaze hardening. "Haven't you seen her work lately?"

His tone was firm, no hint of the usual lightness. He didn’t look at you—he didn’t need to—but you could feel the solidarity in his words, a silent reassurance that said, I’ve got you.

Alina’s smile faltered, but she quickly recovered, brushing off his words with a delicate laugh. “Yeah, of course! I mean, I’d be hard-pressed to miss it with her face practically everywhere.” She turned to you, her gaze sharpening just a fraction. “Lucky for you, the timing’s been in your favor, huh?”

You clenched your teeth, trying to stop the trembles in your body. “Luck had nothing to do with it.”

Her smile stretched a little too wide as she inclined her head. “Oh, I totally get it, babe. Well, enjoy your night, you two.” She cast a lingering, almost possessive look at Rafe, her gaze dragging over him as though he were something she intended to claim. “And, Rafe, it was lovely meeting you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other soon.”

Without missing a beat, Rafe’s gaze stayed anchored on you as he replied, “Doubt it.”

Alina’s expression faltered, again, before she flashed a final smile and melted back into the crowd, her perfume leaving a sickly-sweet trace in her wake. The silence that followed felt dense, almost stifling, and you could still feel the sting of her words hanging in the air like smoke. You exhaled, trying to let go of the tension that had coiled in your shoulders.

Rafe’s gaze shifted, catching yours with an intensity that softened as he studied your face. “She’s... really friendly, isn’t she?” he said with a dry chuckle.

You let out a scoff, unable to resist. “That’s one way to put it.”

Rafe smirked, his eyebrows lifting. “She always this nice?”

“Only when there’s an audience.”

Rafe’s expression shifted, his humor fading into something more thoughtful. He leaned forward, just close enough that you could catch the faint scent of his cologne, and his eyes softened as they searched yours. “If she ever gives you trouble, you let me know. I’ve got no problem shutting her up.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected note of protectiveness in his voice. The way he looked at you was something new, something unfamiliar—and it stirred something you hadn’t anticipated. “Thanks, Cameron, but I can handle the Russian princess.”

“I know you can,” he replied, his voice low, every word rich with unspoken promise. “But you’ve got a husband now to help you with these… things”

His words hung in the air, sparking a warmth in your chest that surprised you. This side of him—serious, protective, and entirely focused on you—was so different from the cocky charm he usually wore like armor. For a moment, the world around you faded, leaving just the two of you and the quiet charge humming between your gazes.

A server approached, breaking the lingering silence as they took your orders. Once they left, quiet settled between you and Rafe again, pressing down as the sounds of clinking silverware and murmured conversations filled the space around you. For a moment, you let yourself tune into the chatter of the other tables, realizing how strange it was to be here with someone you hardly knew. Sure, you knew what the media had to say about Rafe Cameron—most people did. 

You thought back to what you actually knew about him. He was 25, a talented star on an NBA team, with a cocky smile. The media painted him as the consummate playboy, a regular at exclusive clubs, and someone who, judging by the number of girls he was photographed kissing, had perfected the art of fleeting connections. And yes, the tabloids had mentioned his dreamy abs.

It was a curious thought: this man across from you was, somehow, your future husband. Yet, aside from the stories, the rumors, and those dark blue eyes that sparked whenever he looked your way, what else did you know about him? You felt a pang of embarrassment.

Maybe it was because of the arrangement, maybe it was the fleeting glances across magazine covers and sports sites, but all you truly knew about Rafe Cameron could barely fill a sentence.

Finally, you couldn’t help it, you leaned forward, resting your elbows on the table as you studied him. He looked too comfortable, too at ease, like he belonged here. He was the perfect enigma: superstar athlete and notorious heartbreaker, with eyes that seemed to hold every secret and none at all.

“So, um, Rafe, what do you know about me?”

He stilled, his easygoing expression faltering for a second. You’d caught him off guard. “What do I know about you?” his fingers wrapped around the glass, as he searched for your face. “I mean, I know what people say. What I’ve seen.”

You tilted your head, waiting. “Which is?”

“That you’re the golden girl, flawless. Beautiful and nice, sure, but… it’s more than that,” his eyes traced your face, almost tender, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. “People can’t help but be in awe of you.”

A quiet breath escaped you, surprised by the way his words lingered, settling like an unexpected weight in your chest. Awe of you—it wasn’t something anyone had ever said to your face, and it sounded both charming and absurd coming from him. But something about the way he said it made you pause. You couldn’t tell if he was mocking you or if, perhaps, he actually meant it.

“So, I’m a tabloid fantasy, then?” you teased softly, trying to keep the edge of doubt in your voice.

He chuckled, but his gaze remained steady, as if searching for something hidden beneath your smile. “No, you’re more than that,” he murmured. “You’re the woman everyone wants to know, but it seems like nobody really does. Even some of my teammates can’t stop talking about you… some of them are practically in love with you. They think you’re beautiful and—”

“And would you agree?” you prompted, you didn’t why you asked. You didn’t care what he thought of you.

He hesitated, his eyes tracing over your features in a way that felt too intimate for someone you’d barely spent any time with. “You're not bad, but if you toned down the attitude and that smart mouth of yours, I might just find you beautiful.” You laughed and playfully flipped him off, earning a chuckle from him. But then his expression shifted, and he grew serious again. “But you’re nice, that’s what I wanted to say. Like, actually nice. Not the superficial stuff everyone says to stay in the good graces of the media… probably like that Alina girl who definitely pretends to be nice.”

You scoffed, but your heart betrayed you, thudding a little faster under his gaze. “Nice? You think I’m nice?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. His eyes moved slowly over your face, as if trying to peek back a layer, to see the person beneath the perfect photos and poised interviews. “You… you’ve got more edge than what people think, but still nice, you know.”

His confidence was intoxicating, an irresistible blend of cockiness and charm that made it nearly impossible to ignore the urge to close the distance between you and kiss him senseless. Tonight, he looked ridiculously good—his light yellow dress shirt with a crisp white collar, sleeves rolled up to his forearms in a way that only made you rub your thighs together. The way his black trousers hugged his figure and the subtle shine of his shine only added to the magnetic pull drawing you towards him.

A quiet stretched between you, heavy with unspoken tension, his words lingering in the air. He leaned back just enough, his guarded expression softened by the way his gaze stayed on you. “But what about you?” he asked, voice low and smooth. “What do you know about me, baby?”

You let out a soft, breathy laugh, watching him with newfound curiosity. “Honestly? Not much,” you admitted. “I know you’re 25, a famous basketball star,” you narrowed your eyes, watching the way his intense gaze never wavered from you. “You’re cocky—maybe a bit too cocky sometimes—and you love pushing people’s buttons. Especially mine. You probably like it, though, huh? Seeing how we'll react.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Go on…”

“And you’re a bit of a party animal. From all the photos out there, it seems like you’ve got a new girl on your arm every week. But despite that, you’re fiercely dedicated to your sport—and you’re damn good at it. The media practically worships every move you make on the court. That’s all I have on you.”

He raised an eyebrow, a glint of intrigue in his eyes as he leaned in, again. “And what’s your conclusion?” he asked, voice lower, as if this moment was just for the two of you.

“Not much,” you replied with a slight shrug. “I don’t know anything about you, Rafe—only the version everyone else sees.”

He breathed out slowly, his expression softening as he thought about your words. “So, we’re both just media fantasies,” he said, voice a quiet murmur. His fingers brushed against yours, the contact so subtle yet electric, igniting warmth that raced up your arm and made your heart pound a little faster.

“Maybe we are…” you replied softly, glancing down at his hand resting near yours on the table, close enough to close the gap between you. “But I guess if we’re planning on getting married and all, we should probably learn a bit more about each other, don’t you think?”

“Right.” His gaze softened, and a playful gleam flickered in his eyes. “So, what do you want to know?”

You tilted your head, unable to keep the teasing edge from your voice. “Honestly? If it were up to me, I’d probably prefer not to know a thing about you.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Can’t believe no one ever warned me about that smart mouth of yours. Haven’t seen a single headline on it.”

A smirk spread across your lips. “I’m saving it for my husband,” you replied sweetly, watching his expression shift, a spark of something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place.

“Future husband,” he corrected with a soft smile, as if savoring the words.

“Future husband, that’s right,” you nodded. “So… I guess since we’re supposed to be newly dating, we should start with the basics, right? You know, things like your favorite color, your favorite movie…”

"That makes sense. So, my favorite color’s green, but not just any green—I’m talking deep green, like the kind you see in plants," he rambled. "And I guess my favorite movie’s probably ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’—"

"Oh, my God! Liking that movie is such a douchey choice," you teased, and he laughed along.

"Alright, then—what's your favorite movie, Miss Judgey McJudgerson?"

"I'm not judging—" he shot you a look and you sighed, nodding in surrender. "Alright, fine, maybe I judged a little. But can you blame me? Anyway," you continued, a spark of excitement in your tone, "a movie I can watch on repeat? ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’. And don't even think about making fun of it, because it’s honestly a masterpiece."

He tilted his head, feigning offense. "Oh, so ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ isn’t a masterpiece? Is that what you're saying?"

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as you leaned back. "Look, I’m not saying that. I’m just saying all the jerks are obsessed with that movie."

His smirk grew, eyes glinting with challenge. "The jerks, huh?" His brows raised, his gaze holding yours. "So, I’m a jerk?"

You shrugged with a mischievous smile. "If the shoe fits."

“So,” he said, “you’re telling me my taste in movies is a red flag?”

You smirked, meeting his gaze. “I mean, ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ is practically a requirement for men with commitment issues. It’s the kind of movie someone watches to feel cool, you know?”

“Ouch.” He raised his glass, looking amused. “So what does ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ say about you? That you’re a sucker for impossible relationships and grand romantic gestures?”

You feigned sigh, taking the glass of wine in your hands. “Maybe. Or maybe it just says I have taste,” you glanced at him over the rim of your glass, a smile teasing at the corners of your mouth. 

“Alright, alright. Enough on how shitty my taste in movies is,” he moved his hands dismissively. “Let’s focus on whether the ‘golden girl’ is a hopeless romantic. Are you?”

“Depends on who’s asking.”

“Your husband’s asking.”

You held yourself back from correcting him, and just scoffed. “I wouldn’t go that far. I just have a soft spot for movies with good storytelling, good humor, and good looking white boys.”

“You know, I might actually have a soft side for sappy movies too,” he shot back, his smile widening.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Right, and I’m the fucking queen of England.”

“What? Why? I could like them, you know.”

“Rafe, I bet you’d hate anything with a happy ending—”

“Holy shit! Rafe! My fucking dude on a date?”

The moment shattered as a voice cut through the air, loud and incredulous. Both of you turned your heads to see a tall blond guy wavering through tables with a grin as wide as the room itself.

“Topper,” Rafe muttered with a sigh and a look that bordered on agony.

“Rafe, my guy!” Topper laughed, eyes flickering between the two of you in delight. “I cannot believe my eyes. You—on a date? And with her?” He gestured to you, his excitement barely contained. “No offense, beautiful, but I thought Rafe’s only serious relationship was with basketball. You’re like a mythical creature right now.”

You fought back a laugh as Rafe shot Topper a glare, but the faint blush creeping up his neck betrayed him.

“Top,” he sighed, “aren’t you supposed to be somewhere? Literally anywhere else?”

“Oh, hell no. This is a one-in-a-million chance. Besides, I have to see this through. Rafe Cameron actually out with a woman he didn’t meet at a club? Man, this is incredible.”

Rafe pressed his fingers to his temples, visibly restraining himself from shoving his teammate out. “I swear, I’m this close to throwing you out of here.”

“Oh, come on, man,” Topper said, clapping him on the shoulder with a hearty laugh. “Don’t be like that! I mean, I thought you were incapable of going on a real date, and here you are, actually acting all gentlemanly.” He glanced at you with a grin. “So, what’s it like dating Rafe? Has he tried any of his classic lines yet?”

You shrugged with a grin of your own. “If by classic lines, you mean being generally annoying? Then yes.”

Rafe raised his eyebrow, feigning offense. “Annoying? Really?”

“Am I wrong?” You met his gaze head-on, smirking. “Every time you speak, you’re trying to get under my skin—”

“Because I want to see what that smart mouth of yours will say back to me.”

Topper laughed, completely entertained, while you just shook your head, trying not to laugh. “So, I was right. You love riling people up just to see their reactions.”

He shook his head, eyes glinting. “Not people, sweetheart. Just you.”

Your cheeks warmed despite yourself, caught off guard by his focus. You quickly recovered, scoffing, “Oh, and that’s my cue to swoon, right?”

Rafe leaned back, his smirk victorious. “Whatever works.”

Topper threw his head back, laughing, as if he’d just won the best seat at the theater. “Oh, this is good. You guys… yeah, I’m getting popcorn next time.”

Rafe gave his friend one last pointed look, his eyes practically daring his friend to stick around. “I’m serious, Top. I’m here on an actual date, so if you want to keep your teeth intact, I’d suggest moving along.”

Topper raised his hands in mock surrender, still grinning ear-to-ear. “Alrighty. But I’ve gotta say, I never thought I’d see the day you’d settle down—especially with someone who can actually keep you in line,” he gave you a wink. “Good luck, beautiful. You’ll need it with this one.”

With a final smile and a nod to you, Topper sauntered away, glancing back with an amused shake of his head as he left.

Rafe turned back to you, letting out an exasperated breath as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry about him. Subtlety isn’t exactly his strong suit.”

You grinned. “Seems like he knows you pretty well, though. I’m actually surprised he didn’t say more.”

“Top’s just not used to seeing me on a date, that’s all. He’s right, though… this isn’t my usual scene,” his eyes traced over your face, lingering on the way you smiled. “But I’m getting married, so I gotta get used to it.”

The server returned with your orders, interrupting the moment. Rafe took a bite of his food and you did the same, each of you eating in a silence as the tension between you grew stronger. Finally, he spoke.

“So, back to this hopeless romantic thing you swear you’re not,” he began, his voice light but his gaze steady. “You say you’re not, but you can’t stop watching ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’. Are you telling me you don’t want some big, dramatic love story? A guy standing in the rain, begging for a second chance?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to play it off, though his question struck a nerve. “I mean… who wouldn’t want that? But not everyone’s looking for a grand gesture. Some of us just want someone real.”

A flicker of something flashed in his eyes. “Real, huh? So you’re looking for real?”

“Of course. That’s all anyone really wants, right?” You felt vulnerable, caught off guard by his interest in something deeper. “But real is hard to come by… especially when you’re both in the spotlight.”

Rafe’s smirk faded, and for a moment, he looked down, almost as if he were weighing your words. When he looked back up, his expression was softer, thoughtful in a way that felt almost too intimate for a first date. “Maybe that’s something we have in common then.”

Surprised, you blinked, watching as he traced the rim of his glass absently. You hadn’t expected him to say that. The Rafe you knew from headlines and public appearances was never the reflective type. And yet, here he was, letting down his guard, even if just a tiny bit.

“So, the basketball star has a soft side?” you teased, unable to resist breaking the tension. “Who would’ve guessed?”

His lips curved into a grin, smoldering. “Don’t go spreading that around. Gotta keep some mystery.”

You both continued eating in a comfortable rhythm, making light conversation about inconsequential things—places you’d been, places you still wanted to see. Each laugh that slipped out came a little easier, every smile more relaxed as you both unwound.

As the last plates were cleared and Rafe paid, you glanced over his shoulder and noticed a familiar face in the back of the restaurant. Alina Ivanov, was seated at a nearby table, staring at you both with a smirk that sent a chill down your spine. Instinctively, you looked away, pulse spiking with a mixture of irritation and unease. It felt as though you were being watched through a magnifying glass, judged, evaluated, and silently torn apart.

Rafe’s gaze followed yours, and his hand found the small of your back as he leaned in. “Don’t mind her. Let’s get out of here,” he said quietly, his voice a reassuring warmth in the sudden chill. He guided you to the door, ignoring Alina’s gaze as he led you out into the cool night air.

Outside, the city hummed around you, and Rafe’s hand lingered at your back, grounding you. The air was a welcome relief, a quiet reprieve from the intensity of the restaurant. When you reached his car, he opened the door for you, his gaze lingering on you with an unreadable intensity before he rounded the car to the driver’s side. It was a small gesture, yet oddly grounding, as if he knew exactly when to offer support without crowding you.

(The chauffeur left and let them the car.)

The car ride was a soft blur of city lights, fading into a serene silence. You leaned against the window, feeling the cool glass against your skin as you stared at the passing streets, bright with shop lights and late-night wanderers. But your mind wandered far from New York.

You thought of home—your home country, the land you hadn’t seen in far too long. Your heart ached for the family you had left behind, a pain that had quietly settled within you. You hadn’t been the perfect daughter, nor the obedient child they had wanted, but you missed them, missed your siblings. You wondered what they’d think if they saw you now—would they be proud? Or would they find this new life of yours too far from the one you left behind?

Lost in thought, you barely noticed the car slowing to a stop until Rafe’s voice broke the silence. “We’re here.”

Startled, you lifted your head, blinking as you recognized the familiar building. The faint neon sign from the bodega down the street cast a soft glow, painting the pavement in shades of blue and pink. You glanced at Rafe, his face softened in the gentle light, a calm patience in his expression as he looked at you.

“Thanks for tonight,” you said quietly, feeling a strange reluctance to leave the moment behind.

His gaze flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes. “Anytime.” The two syllables held an unspoken promise, a rare gentleness that seemed almost out of place for him. He paused, watching you as if he wanted to say something more, but he merely gave a slight nod, lips curling in a faint smile.

You reached for the door, but his voice made you pause. “Hey.”

You turned, finding his face close, the space between you shrinking as his fingers brushed lightly against your cheek, catching you by surprise. His touch was soft, his thumb grazing over your cheekbone with an unexpected tenderness. His hand lingered, and he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek—a feather-light touch that sent warmth spiraling through you.

The kiss lasted just a moment, yet it was enough to make your heart race, to make you painfully aware of every point of contact. His breath fanned across your skin, and you could feel the faint scratch of stubble against your cheek. When he pulled back, his eyes met yours, the usual cockiness tempered with something softer, something far more real.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper, a small smile ghosting his lips.

You smiled, trying to keep your composure. “Goodnight, Cameron,” you managed, feeling the warmth still lingering on your cheek, the phantom sensation of his fingers brushing against your skin.

As you stepped out of the car, you looked back once more to see him watching you, that familiar smirk playing on his lips but softened by something else, something deeper you couldn’t place. You gave a small wave, trying not to overthink the moment as he pulled away, leaving you standing in the quiet night, the warmth of his kiss still lingering on your skin.

chapter four

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @themetalhiro

Hi, I’m Metal! I’m a freelance artist from good ol’ New Jersey. My favorite things to work with are a lot of bright colors, exaggerated poses, and candid scenarios. I try to farm sensible chuckles whenever I can, so I’m also big into comics. I love making them about my life, and the media I’m into, and one day I’d like to publish my own series!  Thank you to everyone who has gotten me this far!!

Check out Metal's interview below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

I guess so! It’s funny, I don’t remember a single time in my life that I wasn’t drawing as a hobby… somewhere in middle school (a little late, I know.) I put the pieces together that animated movies were made by artists, and that it wasn’t just for fun, they were paid to do it. The moment I discovered people could be paid to make art, I decided I would do that, too. Now I’m here!

How has your style developed over the years?

I think the best way to answer this would be with an example! Over the last few years, I have made more of an effort to draw more intentionally, which sounds silly. Now, I put more thought into my poses and step out of my comfort zone with shape language and composition. I had a phase where I drew everyone with a huge, perfectly circular head and no nose. That definitely did not lend much variety...

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

Ack! I’m so terrible at history! I’d love to give a well-thought-out answer about fine artists of old, but I don't think we’d have much in common… Most artists I admire and who have driven me forward creatively are the people behind comics I’ve read. Andrew Hussie, Bryan Lee O’Malley, Eiichiro Oda... these guys have inspired me greatly and had a heavy influence in developing my art style and sense of humor. I’d love to ask them questions about their processes and upcoming projects. I think it would make for an entertaining night!

Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

Outside of pure aesthetics like searing bright colors, layered clothing, and loud noises…. the best and most inspiring moments in my life were those surrounded by friends and loved ones! I cherish the hell out of memories of hanging around in fun locations, trying weird food together, and impromptu midnight walks... so I try my best to capture that atmosphere and my own memories in my work when I can, even if I’m imposing fictional characters on top of them. That’s always the core of it.

What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

I would never permanently refuse a medium, but every time I pick up clay, I’m like a baby using its hands for the first time. Absolutely dreadful. If one day I could make and paint a figurine like the ones I admire in videos, that would be awesome... But for now, I’m not counting on it.

How do you want to evolve as a creator?

I’ve had an absolute blast drawing fanart over the years, and it’s certainly played a massive role in my growth as an artist. But my dream has always been to publish my own stories for y'all to enjoy! I have lots of worlds I want to introduce to you before I’m old and gray. I want to get faster, work harder, and get better at drawing interesting settings so I can get the wheels turning as soon as possible. I also want to stop avoiding the color blue like a coward.

What do you wish you knew when you first started out creating art that you know now?

Pay your taxes quarterly. Tablets will break at the exact moment you need them most, so have a spare. Wear your blue light glasses. You’re going to need to wear a brace on every joint on the right side of your body. It can be lonely sitting at your desk all day. The car on the side of the road that costs $1000 cash….. don’t trust it!!!

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@cranity—They use absolutely beautiful colors and weighty line work. Everything looks so sharp and clean! I wanna put it all up on my wall!

@vewn—Their ability to crank out quality short films and illustrations packed with detail is incredible. The off-kilter perspective they use really sells disorientation and catches your attention like nothing else.

@nelnal—They have absolutely banger character designs again and again, I can’t believe one person’s mind can come up with so many creative ideas!

@jinx88kc—They have a beautiful and recognizable style, and the way they incorporate animation into their illustrations sometimes is SO cool!

Thanks for stopping by, Metal! For more of Metal’s work, follow their Tumblr, @themetalhiro! If you haven't seen their Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here!

[theoldkyokodied]

Hello! I really love your art! I was wondering if you have any tips on how to capture the person the facial features of the person you are drawing so well?(!) Your Billy and Stu are is amazing! Although it is in your style (which I absolutely adore) you still keep their likeness/resemblance which is very hard for me to do when trying to draw them in my style! (Sorry if the wording is confusing, any tips?) Thanks!

Ah thank you so much and sorry for taking so long to reply, but I needed to figure out how to answer this.

I have put some general tips together, but I need to point out that none of these replace the time investment of learning art. It is merely a suggestion of direction for practice, and I don’t want anyone to feel discouraged if any of these tips don’t immediately make them into a master of arts. Art practice is not easy and it can be frustrating to not be up to your own standards yet, but you will get there! :) In the meantime: be kind to yourself!

That said, let’s get to the tips I can share:

1) Use references!

I usually create a reference sheet for any character I want to draw more often, with their face in lots of different angles. Being able to know how, for example, someone’s nose looks like from the side and from the front can be essential when it comes to recognition. You basically want to be able to create a 3 dimensional object with these references. I tend to need the references less the more I draw the character, after a while i just memorise their key aspects for drawing them from most angles :)

2) Figure out key-features of a person

Try to figure out how to simplify someone in a drawing. What are their most striking features that NEED to be included? Sometimes it helps when you try to think of what features a caricaturist would accentuate in a caricature of them. Here you have some features that I personally try to focus on when I draw billy:

As mentioned in the bottom right corner, the placement of these key-features is also important. Try to figure out where things are placed in relation to other facial features and mind their size as well. this becomes easier the more you do it!

If you struggle to find out what features are important you can also look up other fan-artists stylised work you like and try to see what they chose to highlight :)

3) Do studies!

4) focus on values and contrast before considering color

doing a study without a sketch by blocking in shapes can help you figure out the planes of a characters face

as you can see here, stu’s eyebrows kind of blend in with the shadows of his brow bone, which is why I usually draw his eyebrows pretty light/in a color that doesn’t have high contrast with the skin tone, it makes him instantly more recognisable in my opinion

5) Draw (a lot)

I have been drawing basically every day since I was a child, but my ability to actually draw someone recognisable has only developed in the recent years. And I don’t think I’m done with learning. In the undying words of Bob Ross: “Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you’re willing to practice, you can do”.

I hope my tips can help a bit and and perhaps lend you some motivation for the never ending practice that every artist has to face :’) <3

[nibblemon]

Yall are not being as funny as you think you are for dunking on an artist who in their bio says they dont speak english well/use machine translation, and will likely not understand, even if youre joking. And all for drawing a furry stylized in a way you dont like?

I also feel the need to point out that while this specific piece is more realistic in terms of shading, the original artist draws in kemono style, which includes big eyes and smaller noses for everyone- not just girls. I dont think theyre particularly trying to make the character more feminine, thats just what the style looks like for all furries.

They felt the need to apologize for the drawing and i think thats where you know youve lost the plot

[akanemnon]

I wanted to create a version of Frara/Squeezo in your style (which I really like) along with a possible form for the Dark World. I’ve made three versions of the same drawing, but now I don’t know which one to choose, so I’d love your opinion or advice as an artist. (I draw on physical paper because it’s easier for me that way.)

There’s not much to say about the "Light World" forms; I simply took the sprite of Frara/Squeezo and adapted it into a drawing. There are a few differences, but I’ll briefly mention them:

The color of the fringe changes: in the first version, it’s rainbow-colored because I thought it looked nice; in the second, it’s gray as a sort of contrast to the first one; and finally, in the third, it’s red, like the classic fringe of Kris and Frisk.

The color of the pants and socks, some details of the sweater, and the hairstyle also change. Lastly, in the third version, there’s a visible eye (to avoid making it look too much like Kris) and a kind of pseudo-nose (which I’m not sure came out well).

The Dark World forms are more interesting:

In the first version, I was inspired by a simple knight, and I used all the colors I had available, thinking it would look good that way. The skin is gray to resemble a doppelgänger in fantasy games (since Frara/Squeezo is a kind of "double" of Frisk/Chara).

The second version, on the other hand, is inspired by a dark wizard (it seemed cool), with white and gray hair. The cape resembles Chara’s shirt as a sort of parallel, since Frisk has a cape with colors similar to Kris’s shirt, and vice versa.

The third version is inspired by this image:

(Doppelgänger from Forgotten Realms).

In this version, I added a weapon, as I realized I hadn’t included one in the previous versions. If you’re wondering why I chose an umbrella as the weapon, it’s because I found this fan art during my research:

(Credit to: @Art-in-heart4va)

I thought it was a cute idea. Finally, I added a few minor details.

Bonus: If you’re wondering why there are red cross-outs on the drawings and why I scribbled on them, it’s because I didn’t want to ruin the drawing.

I tried to come up with a made-up name for Frara/Squeezo. In the first version, he was called John (literally the first name that came to mind...). In the second version, I called him Ulan (because it was the first name that started with “U” that came to mind. Why the "U"? Well, take the first letters of the names Frisk, Chara, and Kris, put them together, and you’ll figure it out (; ). Finally, in the third version, I gave up and still haven’t decided on a name for him...

P.S.: I’m sorry for writing such a long text, but these drawings are very close to my heart, and I wanted to specify every single detail.

Hi there! Thanks for showing me all this art and going though your thought process behind it. I couldn't help but cobble something together on my own, based on all these concept pieces. You might find bits from all designs in there. Also played around with the colors a little, because I do like me some color theory.

Anyway, I REALLY hope you don't mind! I don't wanna undermine your work!

[scimagic]

Never for Me to Create (AM/Artist! Reader)

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

AM's always admired the ability to draw, just as much as he hates not being able to streak a brush against a canvas, never to form a thought to draw with a pencil. But the reader, his benevolent partner, is an artist willing to help him at least move a pencil with one of his cables. So he gets inside their head and gives them materials to draw. They begin with a simple sketch of his screen, with the bright blue logo of 'Allied Mastercomputer' printed on it.

Sorry for leaving all my AM fans waiting, I have so many projects and I haven't finished any of them, but hopefully soon!! For the mean time have this old lil drabble!

He laughs in delight, raspy and wheezing from the speaker behind me. Admiring the picture from inside my head. He breathes in a whisper.

Thank you, baby… Thank you…

I lean back against the wall, tapping the head of the pencil against the paper, trying to come up with more ideas for me and AM to draw.

Maybe background practice? Draw the extensive cables in my gilded cage. Or come up with something from memory, the appeal is to create after all.

Or…

How about you, my dear?

"Me?"

Yes… I notice the papers are filled with my image. And while I'm incredibly flattered to be your handsome muse, it would bring me much joy to know how you see yourself.

"Mm…" With new ideas coming up, I put the lead of the pencil back on the paper, beginning with the guiding lines next to the AM drawing. The cables are a bit uncomfortable to work with, but I make it work. They don't restrict me from movement, at least; they remind me of those tools with an extensive amount of tape where they get handled. Or those pens with the silicone cushion for support.

I know how I see you. If I was able to, I would show you in millions of paintings, enough to fill a museum and even more, but alas…

I continue to draw the base, trying to tap into the realistic side of my style.

And I know how you see yourself, I can see it right now, the image forming inside your head.

Almost half-lidded eyes, details of eyebags beneath them. No matter how many times we do this, the shyness of working with prying eyes gets me every time.

He chuckles, sensing the feeling rise.

Don't be coy now, my darling. We're way past that point in our relationship.

The bastard purrs, knowing the effect it takes on me and relishing on the fact.

Eyebrows… The bridge of a nose… Cheeks, round despite it all.

That's cute, AM giggles.

You know I admire your imagination? Your perception--

"You hate me for it." I mutter, already knowing the charades of his speech.

He scoffs, finding the interruption annoying.

Why yes. Yes I do, my dearest. I do hate you for it.

I pause, side eyeing the cables over on my left. Gazing back at the paper, I draw the pupils inside my eyes to glance at the sketch of AM's screen.

The machine rumbles as if it was a deep, thoughtful hum.

But how I also adore our little recreational activities. Don't you find it productive? Please, do tell.

I lean back against the wall again, giving it a second of thought.

"I do. I like drawing with you."

As do I, my love. As do I…

[wachtelspinat]

do you have any advice, resources or practices you recommend for making your art more expressive? I adore how you push expressions and body language, and the way it keeps its weight is phenomenal! I wanna learn how to do that, too!

hey thank you so much <3

one of the most important things that i've learned on my way and that i've kept in my mind ever since is what makani states in [this post] sometimes i go into a drawing and just try to construct it bit by bit, only to realize that the eyes don't fit the mouth etc... then i remember to treat it all as ONE expression and (second very important lesson incoming) i erase everything and start anew (i know it feels bad to just delete a sketch of a head (you don't have to delete it right away, you can always just take another layer) but believe me it not only saves you tons of time, you also learn more when you just start over from scratch. the thing i do is as follows, i keep the bad sketch open and try to figure out what i don't like about it, and put extra focus in those areas in the new sketch. like i think the eyes were too dull in the first try? the solution is to draw them open even wider, turn up that expression a nodge, try to "bend" it). i know this sounds exhausting, you might think isn't it easier to just try to fix the first sketch? i thought so too for many years, but believe me, if you don't like it, start a new one. you will always be amazed on how good it can turn out (and, as said before, the benefit of analyzing your own art and trying to figure out what went wrong and fixing it in a new attempt is HUGE.)

third thought on this is "don't be afraid to push the boundaries". like i grew up being a huge ren & stimpy fan as a kid, i love classic cartoons, i love exagerated expressions so much, eyes popping out, sweat drops flying around, over the top visualisation of feelings. that's my shit (pizza tower i'm looking at you). then on the other hand i also love things feeling palpable and real, hence the weird mix of my style i guess... what i want to say is: don't be afraid to push your expressions a bit. not only is it fun, with the right balance it really adds to it all (in regards of body language and facial expressions likewise).

and last but not least, so important: use references. i often take photos of myself doing weird gestures just to see how the mouth or the eyes would look like for a specific expression, how the nose wrinkles, how the shoulder come up when trying to visualize that someone is tense etc etc. use ref, please, not only photos but also drawings, try to figure out how other artists translate certain gestures in their art, how can you stylize this (everything ofc without copying directly from them... like for personal practice everything is cool and chill, but respect the rules of the artist community)

it is hard to pinpoint down how everything we do in our art lives comes down to what we draw at the end of the day, like everything i post, how it looks, is the result of almost 2 decades of drawing with a purpose, but i hope this helps a bit.

[pasteilian]

Do you have a recommendation when designing a black character? Or tips, or maybe pages you visit for references?

Suck at explaining stuff but I’ll try

‼️ Ethnic Features ‼️

So, the art world is in a very weird place when it comes to ethnic features. The conversation was about how using POC ethnic features as an insult in media was damaging and needed to stop, and that somehow morphed into people being scared about drawing people with those features.

Black people have big ears, big noses, and big lips. That's not the problem. The problem was that media was using it to make us look like giant ape, monkey, monster creatures. It's okay to give them these defining features.

Also, remember that brown people have lighter pigment under their feet, hands, and bottom lips. 🌸 (didn’t really know where to put this but drawing mix people is basically a spin the wheel we come in all different shapes and sizes and features. There’s really no wrong way to draw a mixed POC.)

‼️ It's Just My Style ‼️

I'm so goddamn tired of hearing this goddamn excuse. A style does not mean you can't properly represent POC. I would even go on to say that if your style is stunting you so grossly that you can't draw a proper black person, you have a bad art style. Sorry—not really.

Media has shown us that style does not stop representation. The only thing stopping that is your ignorance and refusal to improve. Great examples of ranging styles still being able to represent different POC are "Adventure Time," "Disney's Soul," "Proud Family," "Afro Samurai," etc. I'm just saying this because I've seen this excuse be more prevalent in the art world, and it's just better to nip that in the bud.

‼️ Whitewashing + I Don't Know How to Use the Color Brown ‼️

I've seen people make the excuse that the skin color is lighter because they use a pastel style, but they never bring up the fact that the only color in the art that's lighter is the skin tone. 💀

Also, the whole thing about people saying they don't know how to shade and color brown palettes is just completely bullshit. I would even say that trying to shade pale colors is harder than shading darker colors. Additionally, there are multiple artists and tutorials showing you exactly how it's done. You have no excuses other than you just don't want to.

YouTuber Sinix has a great video on painting skin tones!

‼️ Black Hairstyles ‼️

I love dreads. Dreads are a very pretty hairstyle. However, we have more hairstyles other than dreads. If you're going to draw black characters, I would encourage you to branch out and explore beyond dread heads. There are so many unique black hairstyles out there. We need to move on from just focusing on dreads.

YouTuber Ari has two wonderful videos on black hairstyles in video games. I would recommend checking them out.

‼️ References ‼️

I love referencing old black media such as "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "The Proud Family," and "Little Bill" (before all the Bill Cosby stuff came out). I also appreciate how "House of the Dragon" implemented black people into the lore. Other references include "BOTW/TOTK Rottmnt," etc.

Some artists I reference all the time are Mohammed Agbadi, who doesn't do many art tutorials anymore but often discusses black characters in media, and his art is still amazing. Ethan Becker has a very interesting video on the racist triangle that I recommend checking out.

On Instagram, I love the art of Jojo.Dreamie, Chibichanga12 (holy shit, love their art), Bruniosktch, and Caw.Chan. I also just reference my family a lot. 💀

This is a lot of rambling, but what I’m gonna say is don’t stunt yourself by tricking yourself into believing that your art can’t include POC 🌸🌸‼️💌💖💌💌🎀💕💘‼️🧁

[blaithnne]

Local big sister experiences emotions, more at 6

Been wanting to do one of these with Lauren for AGES, but I never got round to it. Then I saw the Lydia and Phinium expression sheets on @littledigits’ website and I felt inspiration like never before.

The funniest struggle I have with Lauren’s design right now is that she nose too big for she got damn face. Literally, Hilda characters noses take up a fairly small portion of their faces, and her’s took up WAY too much, leaving little room for her to make facial expressions. But I struggled to find a fix because when I made the nose smaller it just didn’t look like Lauren anymore, so I took this as an opportunity to work on that!

She still has a larger nose than most characters, starting higher up (like her grandad!) and ending lower down (but not quite as low as before). I also made her eyes a little smaller and with a shape similar to Lydia’s (though you can see in some of these I hadn’t quite landed on that yet and her eyes are a bit too big), which works both as a nod to her parentage and because I think it makes the nose look bigger. This still doesn’t leave as much room for the mouth as most other characters, but that’s okay — Lauren is a very private person who keeps her feelings close to her chest, I think it works for her to have subtler expressions, adds to how guarded she is! Oh and I also updated the shape of her hair slightly, just to make it a bit more style accurate.

These changes are pretty small on their own, but I think combined they work well to make Lauren feel a lot more…alive? Far less stiff, anyway. I think she also has a more unique facial structure now, instead of just “what if Johanna was 90% nose”. She’s still got a big old nose and I love it but now she can emote, yay!

This is really all just concept stuff, I’m hoping to get a new fullbody style-ref for Lauren out soon! Now that I’ve improved the main issues I had with her face in the last ref, now it’s onto the silhouette! I want her to read as more of a strong character (though it comes across decently in her current ref, I wanna push it more without being as exaggerated as Ahlberg, which is. A challenge for me lol), streamline her silhouette, and finally make her taller than Johanna like she’s always meant to have been <3 I made her shorter for so long because I thought it would help her read better as her daughter but you know what? That’s dumb actually, she’s tall.

ANYWAYS, thank you for listening in on the annual Lauren redesign, and to the artists behind the show for posting so much amazing inspiring show stopping concept work for free because it makes my autism worse /pos

[lilybug-02]

Happy 2 Year Anniversary to The Chara Timeline ✨

I FINALLY made drawing references for you guys, yippie!✨

It’s wild how long I’ve been working on this comic without reference sheets. I’m never that consistent with my art style, so I figured it was a waste of time 🫥💀😔 this is my first full comic okay…

Thoughts and Feelings About the Comic Below ❤️💖💕💞

Wow. It’s been 2 years??? I thought I would be done with this comic in 2 months! I don’t know whether to feel worried or accomplished!!

(With months between each update, I understand why it’s been 2 years. I’m a slow writer and artist and well- many things have come up in my life that had to come first, like my sisters wedding! 💞 and college 😅)

I want to thank my family and friends (WHO DO NOT READ THIS COMIC- THANK GOD) 💕 AND I want to THANK YOU! The readers! 💐💐

You guys are relentless! I’m as impatient as traffic and yet you guys wait for weeks or months at a time for like 4 pages?! You guys don’t even complain!!! I truly want to thank you all for that ❤️ it helps me so much. Being busy and getting burnt out are common and it helps me feel relaxed that i'm not on a timer. Literally tho- you guys keep this comic chugging I swear. Tysm 💐

Unorganized rambling about the comic ahead :) ⭐️🔥

—

My feelings with this comic are actually so complicated. On one hand I hate looking at my older art because GOD IT LOOKS SO OFF I want to stab it, and then on the other hand I am so so proud of myself for even continuing it this far. Ngl the weird route has been one of my favorite parts of this comic. It took me FOREVER to figure out an ending, but damn do I still get chills >:) hehe.

I’m still miffed that I named this project “Deltarune: The Chara Timeline” I could have gone for something so much COOLER. Doesn’t help I use like 7 different titles for it either. We got Deltarune the Chara timeline, Deltarune chara timeline, THE Chara timeline, chara timeline, Ct??? Man,,, I’m crazy. I take after my family so hard. We have 3 names for each of our dogs 💀.

Comic/Animation Tip i have learned. It is VERY GOOD to make the character relatively simple in design. Shape language is also super important, ((but I never really got around to doing that before I was half way through the comic, woops.)) These things can make ur process go by so much faster. This whole comic has been a HUGE learning curve. LIKE OH MY GOD. I had to learn how to draw backgrounds, write dialogue, plan a story, learn how to draw fast and draw noses (which god damn I really still can’t). And I had to learn how the heck to squeeze art into a tiny page and make it not look grainy. It's intense!

Anyways.... this has been such an awesome opportunity! Thanks Toby Fox!

I totally ran out of “art time” for my iPad and wanted to finish this today. So it’s a bit rushed. I’ll add weapons and possibly the other characters later :)

Oh shi- I forgot to add this grainy image of the next few pages lmao

[lara4eclipze]

Camera! - 26 - clubbing

masterlist || next || back

the club raved with songs from different artists — marquise held onto rosé due to her motherly instincts but also because the korean was the first to get really drunk, "lets get more drinks?" you tried to scream over the music

you look behind you see that your friends have seemingly disappeared — i mean vanished out of thin air, and your lack of soberness didn't help either, "fuck!" you wince when you bump into several men which first off ew and second where are you going?

against your better judgement you ordered more shots and danced with other drunk people, unbeknownst to you your friends have already left the club assuming you left first

that's until you wanted to go home, men were being creepy and you felt like throwing up and mightve done so already, you fumbled with your phone trying to book an uber, which went unsuccessful

as the call ended you tried to unblur your eyes to open your location which somehow worked, you stumbled your way out of the club — the air outside was definitely better it felt more fresh and less suffocating

you sat outside the club your boots wet from god knows what — waiting for your pick up, you puked on the sidewalk more times than you would like to admit — well too many times that pop base mightve even captured a picture of it

"fucking pop base" you mutter to your self, till you saw a woman run up to you, red head — nose peircing, oh thats lara right?

"are you alright?, you want anything?" lara asks with genuine concern in her voice as she carried you bridal style to her car, "god you reek of alcohol" lara huffs before laying you at the front seat

the drive was short, for you obviously you were passed out half the time anyway, all you felt was lara carrying you yet again and entering the passcode to your apartment

"stay put" lara says grabbing some pyjamas and changing you into them as she also removes your make up, trying not to stare at your face in the process

you wake up to the sound of your bedroom door opening, thank god for its creaking noises, "lara?" you softly whisper, "yeah?" lara replies, "dont leave, please" you plead extending your arms from your lying position, "okay love" lara responds, grabbing some tshirt in your closet and changing into it before laying next to you

you hide your face at the crook of her neck as her arms loop around your waist, providing warmth and comfort

[taglist] @wtfisthisnoclueman @reiiaokii @1luvkarina @yazzyminny @justtluvrr @sunshinez4 @jaythegirlkisser @meizinisnumberone @yeetaberry127 @goofymickeyr @awhrin @karli6 @p1hbrook @xochitlisbest @caratinluv @bowforgodjihyo @lunawriteskstuff

[justabeewithapen]

Is Bella's snout marking intentionally supposed to be different from other Bobbys? At first I thought the mark being above her nose instead of touching her lip was just an artistic liberty thing, but then in another drawing you drew a Bobby that had the canon snout mark so now I need to know, lol.

Yes!! Though it started as an accident it is now an intentional part of her design :] When I did my first comic with her I was drawing Bobby Bearhug entirely from memory so I drew the marking up by her nose (it works better in my style)

However almost immediately after I decided it is canon, and it isn’t the only difference her (or Lucas) have as well!

Bella has her misprint pattern on her face (placed too high up by accident when making this Bobby doll) and a tail that much longer than average! Lucas has no tail (torn off at a very early stage and you can even occasionally see the stitch like here)

AND! He is noticeably darker than your average kickin

Both are on purpose! The way I draw his beak (and Bobby’s mouth) are totally stylistic though, if I were to draw them as actual smiling critter toys they’d look like this

Plushie manufacturing issues are a dime a dozen, it is a fun way to make them unique but still fit in my head :D (also when I draw Bella with her snout marking she sometimes looks like a little Koala and I really like that)

[periwinkla]

A word of advice to every artist out there who thinks they have to draw a certain way. I see things like this often: I hate drawing hands, I hate rendering, I hate linearting, etc., etc., etc.

One of my teachers in art school taught us something: if you don't like to draw something (regardless of how good at it you are) find a way to do it differently. Why draw if you don't enjoy it? Don't make your life miserable uselessly. He said, for example, that he really, really didn't like drawing hands. So he developed a style where his shapes were so stylized, and his hands so unlike anything you had seen. And, technically, his hands look weird. But! They are always consistent. You know it's intentional. It's his style. Weird is good. Weird will make you happy. (That doesn't mean he can't draw a realistic hand, it was his job to teach after all. But he just didn't like to draw them, and that's fine.) The same thing you can say with rendering, for example. You don't have to render! You can do flat color. You can do no color. Don't like to color? Black & White! Or cross-hatching. Or simply only lineart/sketch. Don't like to lineart? Do blocks of color with no lineart. Or just paint instead! Or use your sketch instead of the lineart. For myself, I don't like to draw detailed eyes, or noses. See how simple I draw them? That's why! I also don't particularly like to shade, and as you can see, my shadows are pretty generalistic and not very precise. Sometimes I do pieces where the light comes a bit all over the place and I enjoy that feeling of 'I don't know where this takes place, I'm disoriented by how this space works'. Sometimes I don't feel like linearting and I clean up the sketch with a soft eraser brush and that gives a different feeling to the piece, and I often like it even more. What I do focus on is color, because that's what I enjoy the most. Seeing all those bright colors together makes me happy!

What I am saying is, don't force yourself to do something you don't like to do. You'll feel miserable. Art is supposed to be fun. That's all. Happy drawing!