#i know they're from different planets but still

[writerblock]

More Than Fate

I was just so sure.  This was the moment Fate had set aside for me.  Everything that had gone wrong today had been on purpose; to have me sitting here the moment she walked through the door.  She was simultaneously the most beautiful and perfect woman I'd ever seen and the most normal, unassuming on the planet.  There was just something about her that made her shine like a supernova, and I couldn't look away no matter what.  Our eyes met and I smiled at her.  She smiled back and gave me a friendly wave.  For a moment we sat in the room in silence.

"Rough day?" I asked, trying to fill the silence, struggling to get past my own nerves and say anything.

"Yeah, that's one way to put it, I guess.". Her voice was angelic.  "Everything that could go wrong did.  I was supposed to be here two hours ago.  I'm hoping they can still fit me in.  I just need them to take a look real quick at my laptop.  It's just keeps rebooting."

A tech walked out and looked over at me, then her.  "Sorry, I got no more free slots today."

"Actually, she's with me.". I lied.  Poorly, if I'm being honest.  "We're both bringing our laptops in together.  She was just parking the car while I came in to sign in."

The tech rolled his eyes.  "Fine.  What's the problem."

I handed over my laptop.  "Charging port is loose on mine.  She's got an endless reboot cycle."

"Ok.  Hand em over.  I'll call you tomorrow when they're ready.". 

I smiled at her, stood and took her laptop, handing them both to the tech.  As we walked away she, in what I thought was the greatest acting job I had ever seen, put her arm around me as we walked out of the repair center.

Outside, she immediately hugged me.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!  You saved my butt in there, I cannot be without that laptop over the weekend, I have a huge project due."

"Yeah, um, don't mention it.". I was not good at playing it cool, and this girl hugging me was not making it easier.  "I, um, guess I should get your number so I can call you when they call me."

"Oh, right, duh.  Can you imagine?  I'd be out here stalking you.". As she pulled out her phone I saw the tattoo on her wrist.  "Damon". My heart sank.

***

Nobody knows how or why it happens, but as far back as we can find records, we've all been born with a name tattooed on our wrist.  They say it's the name of your soulmate, the one you're meant to be with.  First name only, which could be difficult.  People get around it by giving their children's names unique spellings.

Some people think it's an old superstition or a really dumb tradition, but the numbers seem to back it up.  Marriages between soulmates are almost always successful.  Marriages that ignore fate tend to end badly.

***

"I never even asked your name." She said as we exchanged numbers.  I'll admit, I was tempted to lie.  But unless the universe had a sick sense of humor, that only would complete half of the circle.

"Asher"

"Lily." She said.  She almost sounded sad, but I was fairly sure I was just projecting.  "So, call me tomorrow when you hear from them and let me know what I owe you.  I can probably kick in a little extra as a thank you."

"You don't have to do that."

"Well, I really appreciate it and I'd like to do something nice for you."

"How about," I took a breath, knowing I was setting myself up for failure.  "How about we grab a drink Monday night?  It sounded like you've got a lot of work to do this weekend but maybe after it's done we could hang out and talk?". The words just came spilling out, and as soon as I opened my mouth I regretted it.

Her face lit up.  "I'd like that."

"Ok.". I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself.  "I'll call you tomorrow and then we can sort out Monday when we see each other.". 

She smiled and gave me another hug.  "See you tomorrow, Ash.". I almost stopped her.   I hated that nickname.  Why did it sound different when she called me Ash?

"Bye Lilly."

***

The next day I called her right after I heard from the repair shop..  We met up, paid our bill and I figured that was it for the day.  But Lily had a different thought.

"I know we were talking about hanging out Monday, but I only have one class today and I'll be done at 2.  I was thinking we could grab lunch today.  You know, if you wanted to."

"It's up to you, Lily.  I just figured Monday you wouldn't have to worry about rushing.  You said you had a lot of work to do this weekend.  I thought we'd have a chance to actually hang out and talk on Monday.". Part of me was thrilled, not just at the chance to see her again, but the spontaneity of it left me less time to overthink things.  Of course, part of me also thought, after a night to sleep on it, she just wanted to get this over with.

She smiled.  "I mean,we could still do that too.  I was just hoping to see you sooner."

"Ok, sure.". Deep breaths, I reminded myself.  "Want to meet at the Bell Tower?  There's a few spots we can grab lunch at nearby.". I was trying not to stutter, but I was more nervous than I'd ever felt.

"Sounds great!  I'll see you there." She hugged me and walked off.  Of course, I was on the way to the only class I had today, so I was now faced with several hours of waiting around and trying not to think about all the ways this could go wrong.

***

I'd always hated the idea of being fated to be with someone.  It was a growing sentiment in my generation to hear the news tell it and, in their words, a problem.  The numbers tell a simple story.  Marry the right person, and it really is 'til death do you part.'  Ignore (or outright defy) Fate, and in a few years you'll be sorting through the rubble, trying to figure out how it all went so wrong.  

Of course, part of that was because the stats on failed marriages between the unconnected and successful marriages between Fated didn't tell the whole story.  Fated marriages tended to see a high rate of suicide; people who couldn't fathom the idea of staying with their soulmate but also couldn't follow through with the idea of divorce.  Unfated, meanwhile, could easily rationalize divorce and split up with little backlash from society.  Divorce was almost unheard of among fated couples, and usually the result of much larger issues.

When you're young, it wasn't uncommon to play the field.  Dating was really just something you did until you met your Fated.  They were practice relationships; you were never supposed to get attached to them.

I wasn't sure what lead to me asking Lily out.  There had been plenty of cute girls over the years that I'd had a thing for.  Maybe it was the way she put her arms around me, the way it just felt normal.  Maybe it was her personality.  Maybe it was that damn smile.  At the time all I knew was I was head over heels for this girl and that scared the hell out of me.

***

Lily's class was apparently in the building right across from the Bell Tower.  Seeing her come out and immediately look around until our eyes met, I finally understood what they meant when they say "my heart skipped a beat.". She had gotten changed in the intervening hours, and wore a dark sun dress and had her hair down.  She looked stunning and I knew I was in love.

Feeling a bit underdressed and more nervous than ever, I waved at her.  She smiled and walked over and hugged me again.  I'd learn later that this was normal in her family, hugging people that you liked.  At the time I saw it as a sign she was really into me.  Not that she wasn't, but the hugs weren't part of that.

"You look amazing." I told her as we walked over to one of the small cafes.  She blushed, and I decided to take a chance, and reached over and held her hand.  When she didn't pull away or scream, I figured I was good, but I certainly wasn't expecting the smile I saw on her face.  The walk really wasn't far, but it somehow managed to feel both instantaneous and forever.

As we sat there eating and talking, eventually she asked the obvious question.  "What's her name?"

"Cristina.". I held out my wrist.  "I saw yours when we first met.  I honestly thought about telling you my name was Damon."

"When we started talking, I just felt something click, and I kept trying to see your wrist.  When I asked your name I kept thinking 'please say Damon, please say Damon.'. But honestly, I didn't really care at that point.  I don't know what it's supposed to feel like when you meet your soulmate, but it has to feel like this."

Oddly enough, there are moments from that day I remember crystal clear, but the rest of it was a blur.  She ended up cancelling a study session with her friends and we just walked around campus for hours.  We grabbed dinner to go and ate on the lawn outside the student center.  Eventually, I told her she had to go study, as much as I didn't want her to go.  We made our plans for Monday, a real date this time.  She didn't hug me when she left this time, instead draping her arms around my shoulders and leaning in close.  I took the hint and kissed her.

Our first real date was wonderful, if anticlimactic.  That first day had been everything you want in a date and more.  Still, walking around together, knowing this was actually real, was special.  She told me she woke up on Saturday morning and checked her phone, rereading the exchange we'd had after we went our separate ways, just to be sure it happened.

***

I remember our first major fight so clearly.  It was just about 5 months later.  Fights happen all the time in relationships, and we had plenty throughout the years.  But every time we both drifted back to the same thought; that this was going to be the end for us.  Not because the fight was that big, but because it was just so easy to walk away from each other because of those damn tattoos.  We talked about it at one point; I was shocked that she felt that way too.  In a way, the fact that we weren’t Fated brought us back to work things out.

We weren’t living together yet, but she was spending more and more time at my place.  I even bought a second dresser so she could leave some clothes at my place.  Sometimes I’d see a shirt I thought she'd like, I’d buy it and stick it in with her stuff. Sometimes, I admit, I’d think about buying other things for her to wear.  This time, I pulled the trigger and bought her something: a little black dress.  Something a little sexier than the first dress I’d seen her in.  Something I was hoping she’d wear when we got to our 6 month anniversary and the big night out I was planning.

She didn’t like my pick, to put it mildly.

“What, you want me to dress up like some cheap whore that you can parade around on your arm?”

I tried to plead my case.  I tried to take into account that she was getting absolutely crushed by schoolwork.  I tried to keep my own emotions under control.

“I should have known this was doomed to fail and just walked away from you at the shop.”  It was one of the easiest ways for her to hurt me, and she knew it.  Knew I loved her with all my heart and was insecure that I was going to blow it all.  

Look, I’m no saint.  We had arguments down the road where I said worse things.  If she hadn’t walked out angrily at that moment, I probably would have had the first entry on the list.  When she stormed out, I wanted to sit down on the bed and just die.  But as I heard the front door close, I ran out after her.

I caught her in the parking lot.  My instinct was to reach out and grab her.  If I could just make her stay and listen.  I couldn’t do it.  Couldn’t lay a hand on her.  Couldn't force her to stay.  Just as she had used all the times we had talked about relationships and Fate to learn how insecure I was, I knew how she felt about people who walked away.  I knew if I could just get her to see that she was doing the one thing she said she hated, she would at least give me a chance to speak.  “You’d rather take the easy way out?”

She stopped, dead in her tracks.  “What?”

“We both knew there’d be bad days.  Fated couples have bad days, why wouldn’t we?  But because my name isn’t on your wrist it’s easy to walk away, isn’t it?  Easy to throw away everything we’ve done together, all those nights out on the balcony, just sitting hand in hand and looking at the stars and talking about the future we were going to build.  It meant nothing because my fucking name isn’t on some mystical tattoo on your wrist?  Cristina could walk up to me right now and be the most beautiful, perfect woman on the planet, and I’d still turn her down because I love you.  I won't give up something great just to chase the chance of something better.

"From the moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted to spend my life with you.  Not because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but because there was something more when I looked at you.  Your eyes, your smile, your touch, that little laugh of yours, all of it just melted my brain.  It still does to this day.  I bought that dress because you always talked about wanting to go out on a date and be the girl every guy couldn't take their eyes off of and watch necks snap as you walked by.  So I booked the dinner, I rented the car and I planned to make our 6 month anniversary the night you got to feel like a queen.  Maybe I should have asked you before I bought the dress, but I’d never make you wear something you felt uncomfortable in.”

Lily turned around and looked at me, and I could see the tears starting to well up in her eyes.

“I just,” she tried talking and fighting back the tears, but it wasn’t going particularly well.  “Too many times guys have approached me because of my body.  They weren’t looking for their Fated, just a good time until they met them.  I always told you you weren't the first guy I dated.  But you were the first that didn’t seem to always be trying to sleep with me.  That dress, I thought of all the times I got dolled up to look good for guys that cared about nothing else, and to think that you were looking at me that way too…”

“Lily, I think you are the most beautiful, gorgeous, desirable woman walking this planet.  And I’ll admit I’ve had plenty of those kinds of thoughts about you; it’s hard not to sometimes when I see you in some of these outfits.  Honestly, half the time I worry that I'm not affectionate enough, that I should be holding you more, kissing you more.  That you'd think I don't find you attractive.  I do.  I find every aspect of you incredibly alluring.". I walked over to her, seeing the tears on her cheeks.  "I love you." I told her, wiping away a tear.

"I know.  And I love you too.  I'm sorry I screamed at you.  Sorry I immediately said the most hurtful things I could think of."

This time, I was the one hugging her.  "It wouldn't hurt if we didn't care, right?". I took her hand and led her back into the apartment.  "Let me see if I still have the receipt from that dress.  We can go and return it and you can pick out something else."

"No."

I looked at her, a little puzzled.

"I like the dress.  It's a beautiful dress, and I know you put a lot of thought into it.  I want to wear it.  For you.  And for every guy that we pass that night, so they're all jealous of you."

***

That anniversary date went amazingly well.  She turned a lot of heads in that dress, rightfully so.  I spent most of the night trying not to stare at her.  But two interesting things came out of that night.  The first was I asked her to move in with me, full time, with the idea of starting to look for a place of our own.  The second was when we talked about the possibility that this might actually work out.

***

“I’ll be the first to admit, I’m amazed you’ve stayed with me this long.”  I said, between bites of food.  “I figured we’d go on a few dates, the novelty would wear off and eventually you’d dump me.  My friends had a pool going for how many dates we’d go on.  I think Jeff was the most optimistic at 6.”

She giggled.  “Good, supportive friends, huh?  Did you place a bet?”

“Nah, they weren’t giving odds that we’d never get to a second.”  I laughed.  “No, I never did.  You remember Dave’s Fated, Candace? Early on she was my sounding board for a lot of stuff.  She kept telling me I had to live in a positive mindset when it came to us, so I had to not think about how it could all fail spectacularly.  But they’ve all been supportive, which surprised me.  I told them I honestly could see us having a real future together, and nobody laughed or told me it would never work.”

“Well, I’m glad your friends are that way.”

“Your friends weren’t?”

“Most figured you were just another fling, I think.  But even from the beginning I talked about you differently.  Kelly, I don’t know what her deal was.  She’s never made a big deal about relationships with non-Fated before, but I guess this bothered her.  She told me I was playing with fire by flipping off Fate.  We really don’t talk anymore; it’s crazy to think she just cut me out of her life over who I’m dating."

"That's a shame.  It's not like you did anything that would hurt anyone.". We both got quiet, but I had to ask the obvious question.  "Lily, did you think this would work when we started?"

She set her fork down and wiped her face.  "I hoped it would.  I'm not sure why.  You know you're not my first.  But this felt different, from the very start.  When my friends doubted us, I wanted to work even harder to make this work.". She looked at me, and I could see her mulling over a question of her own.  "You never told me why you helped me that day."

"Part of it was very much an attraction to you.  But we had both had pretty lousy days.  We weren't supposed to be there at that moment.  It felt like, well, Fate.  I felt something from the moment our eyes met.  And then you put your arm around me, and I was so damn sure you were Cristina."

"Were you disappointed that I wasn't?"

"Not in the least.  If anything it made it better because I knew my feelings were real.". I smiled and reached across the table and took her hand.  "You didn't have to go along with it that day.  Not to the level you did."

"You were cute.  You were sweet.  There was something about you from that first look.  And then, for you to stand there and lie for me, to help out someone you didn't even know, I figured it was worth the chance.". She reached across the table and took my hand.  "You proved me right too."

"When I did it, I was just trying to help someone who had the same kind of bad day I had just gone through.  I never thought about asking you out, that thought came when we walked out of the store and it felt so nice having your arm around me.  Those words just came out.  I regretted saying them immediately because I felt like I was going to scare you away.  I was just hoping to talk and see if things went anywhere.  Even in my wildest dreams I never imagined we'd get here."

***

While Lily hadn't gotten any support from some of her friends, her family was wonderful.  I mean, her Dad told me they'd never find my body if I hurt her, but that's to be expected for his only daughter.  But neither of them seemed bothered by the fact that she and I were seriously trying to make a relationship work; down the road her Mom helped us get through a few of our inevitable rough patches.

To say things were different with my parents would be an understatement.  I had a feeling things would be rough at the start, but hoped they would come around.

As we got closer to that first get together, I thought a lot about my parents' relationship.  Growing up you tend to be only slightly aware of most of the fights that happen.  I definitely knew that they had their moments.  But reflecting on things I started to wonder if my parents were the type that stayed together simply because they were fated to be together.

So I tried to keep expectations low.  I told them Lily and I were seeing each other, but neglected to mention how serious we were.  My mother, of course, figured things out pretty quickly and stopped me when I went out to grab something to drink.

"What the hell is going on with you?"

"What's your problem?"

"My problem is my son is apparently in a serious relationship with someone he's not Fated to.  Moving in together?  What about Cristina? Can you afford to break the lease on the apartment when she comes along?  You can't make these big decisions without thinking about her."

I took a deep breath.  "Actually, I can.  It's very easy once you stop caring about what it says on your wrist and just start living life.  Lily makes me feel alive.  I don't know where or how our story ends, but I like that.  I like not being tied to one ending.  Not being stuck with someone that makes me miserable."

Yeah, in hindsight, that last part was a mistake.  When I get angry sometimes I think the part of my brain that keeps me from saying things like that just shuts off.  But hearing her talk about how I should be prepared to just throw Lily to the curb, discard her like a toy I didn't want to play with anymore, it hurt.  So I said it, and I learned that I get my temper from my mother.

"You think this is easy, don't you, living with someone?  Sure, it's all sunshine and rainbows at first.  But the bills, and the responsibility of being an adult puts a strain on any relationship.  Maybe that's my fault, not raising a son with an understanding of responsibility.  Your father and I sacrificed to make sure you had a good life, an easy life."

I should have held my tongue.  I should have let her vent her frustration and maybe we could salvage things later.  In the back of my mind I knew the best thing to do was shut up.

But I didn't.

"I'm sure you sacrificed so much for your loving marriage.  You were both always so happy and pleasant to be around.  Please.  You two are proof positive that Fate has a sick sense of humor.  You are the most miserable couple I have ever seen and if it wasn't for some misguided belief you'd have gone separate ways long ago.  And just like marriage, it was some duty the two of you carried out.  Marry your Fated.  Have a kid or two.  That's how the world works.  I guess because Fate never told you to be happy, or enjoy your life you never bothered to do it.  Well fuck all of that bullshit, I'm going to focus on being happy and finding someone that brings out the best in me, Fate be damned."

She smoldered for a moment, and I braced myself.  That's when dad walked in the room and stepped in between us.

"You need to leave."

I wasn't sure if he thought he was saving me, or if he knew no matter how bad I got it, he was going to get worse when we left.  Didn't care much either.  I took Lily's hand and walked to the door.  I stopped, fully prepared to say something I'd regret.  'Don't expect an invitation to the wedding.' was on the tip of my tongue when Lily squeezed my hand and led me out the door.  She brings out the better side of me, brings that balance.

She finally stopped me when we got to the car.  "I've never seen you like this.  What happened?"

I put my arms around her and held her.  "I love you, Lily.  They don't understand it.  And I think it scares them, that happiness is possible without Fate.  She totally dismissed us, told me to build my life so that I could drop you the instant Cristina came along and brace myself for you to do the same to me.  To hear what we have, what we've built together be dismissed so casually, it hurt and it made me angry.  I lashed out, worse than I should have at her.  I had hoped, maybe, if she met you, I could change her mind.  But I always knew this was going to end badly, even if I didn't want to admit it.  I knew what we have, they could never accept.  I knew I might have to make a choice, and I'll always choose you over anyone."

***

Losing my family hurt.  I threw that in Lily's face once during a fight, that choosing her had cost me them.  It was stupid and hurtful and she'd have been right to leave me then and there.  But just like when I had fought to keep her, she fought for me.  We thought we were pretty battle tested and bulletproof.  After graduation, we started making plans for the wedding.  And that's when things went to hell.

***

 We found this beautiful little bed and breakfast in the countryside on a weekend drive.  As we walked up to it, Lily told me that this was the place.  We weren't looking for a place for the wedding at that moment, but I knew she was right.  

The best part was they had done plenty of weddings.  They had someone that handled everything, all the planning.  Lily and I were fine with that, until we met her.  Tall and athletic, with jet black hair, she was every pin-up girl I'd fawned over as a teen.  And when she introduced herself as Cristina, I was ready to run out that door and never come near this place again.

Lily and I had taken to wearing matching wristbands that covered our tattoos in place of engagement rings.  So, thankfully, Cristina couldn't see her name on my wrist.

But Lily definitely noticed mine on hers.

"Ok, then we change venue.". I said to her later that day.  "We ask for someone different.". I was trying to calm Lily down and ignore my own panic.  I had feared this moment for years, feared that I wouldn't be strong enough.  That I'd break my promise.  And when Lily started to cry, I knew what I needed to do.

I went to see Cristina the next day.  She smiled as I walked in the door, alone.  Before I could say a word, she put a hand on my chest.  

"I'm sorry to break you two up.  She seems really sweet.  But we both know this is how it's meant to be."

"Cristina, don't take this the wrong way, but that's not why I'm here.  We're going to do the wedding somewhere else.  I know the deposit we put down before we met with you is non-refundable, and that's fine. If there's anything I need to sign, let's get it over with."

"Asher, that's not how this works.  I have waited my whole life for you to come along and this is what I get?  We finally get a chance to talk and the first thing you say isn't 'I've waited my whole life for this moment'?"

"Look, I'm sorry.  I honestly never thought about how this would affect you.  Selfish as that may be, you weren't ever a consideration, not once I met Lily.  She and I are happy.  We're in love.  Not because of some mystical tattoo, but because we genuinely developed a real relationship."

"I'm not asking you to kill her, for God's sake, Asher.  I'm asking you to be realistic and accept your fate.  You said you didn't think about me then.  Think about it now, about the fact that this affects 4 sets of lives.  Think about the domino affect you're having, destroying other people's lives."

"Because I found someone who makes me happy, someone that I make happy?"

“You were supposed to wait for me!”

“Why?”

“Because we're soulmates.  That's how it works!”

"Yeah but, why?  Why should I have passed up the chance to be happy with her for a chance to be happy with you?”

“Because our relationship will work; yours is destined to fail.  They always do.”

“Because they're supposed to or because people have a way to rationalize walking away from random relationships, but can't be the weirdo who leaves their soulmate?”

“You can't fight fate!”

“So, you're telling me, because you're my soulmate, we'll never have a huge, devastating argument?”

“Yes”

“We're having one right now.”

Cristina threw her hands up in disgust. “How did I end up with an asshole for a soulmate?”. She glared at me.  "Fine.  I'll cancel everything.  It'll be like you guys never were here.  But when she leaves you, don't come crawling back to me, just because there's a tattoo on your wrist with my name on it."

***

"You cancelled it over her?  You could have said something to me about it beforehand, Ash.  That's a lot of money we just threw away."

"I know.  I did the math.  I'm going to pick up some extra shifts and go back to packing lunch like when we first moved in together.  I'll make it work without you having to make any sacrifices."

Lily put her arms around me.  "You don't have to starve yourself, or work yourself to death.  We'll figure it out together.  Like we always have.". She kissed me on the cheek, the way she always did to cheer me up.  "How did she take it?"

"To say poorly would be an understatement.  I probably didn't help matters by being a smart ass."

"You, a smart ass?  I find that hard to imagine."

"Regardless, that bridge is very burned.  I'm 100 percent yours, same as I always was."

"Thank you, Ash.  For choosing me."

"I'll always choose you."

***

I thought, once we got past that we were in the clear.  For a while we were.  We still had our fights and our bad days, especially when money was tight.  But our good days were always amazing, and things kept getting better.  We both got decent jobs out of college.  She was the main bread winner, I had better benefits and things balanced out.  We decided to put marriage on the back burner for a little longer and started looking to buy a house instead.

We tried realtors, but most were pushing us to buy cheap fixer upper types, or houses that were far too big for the small family we hoped to start one day.

It was by chance we drove past one of the first houses we looked at.  Or maybe it was Fate.

Detours, one way streets and a spotty cell phone signal had gotten us lost in a small town just north of where we lived.  We drove through the main street all the time, but in all that time we never looked around.  But as we drove around the surrounding neighborhood, we found a beautiful little house with a for sale sign out front and decided to make the best of the opportunity and knocked on the door.

A man answered the door; he was about our age.  And as soon as he walked through the threshold, Lily took a step back.  I didn't think anything of it at the time.

"Can I help you?" He said, smiling at us, his eyes shifting instantly to Lily.  That I noticed, but it wasn't the first time I caught someone checking her out.

"Yeah, we saw the for sale sign out front, but there's no realtor number to call, so we wanted to see what you were asking."

"Hey, Ash, I just realized I forgot my purse at home.  We should probably head back and we can come bother this gentleman another time.". She turned and started to walk away when he spoke up.

"I was kinda hoping we could at least talk this awkward situation over Lily."

As I looked at him, my first thought was that he was an ex.  A fling from before we met.  Until I looked at his arm, leaning against the doorway, and on his wrist I saw her name.

"I'm sorry Damon.  There's nothing to talk about.  I'm engaged, and happily so.  I know that probably hurts, but please, don't do this."

"I just was going to ask you to tell me what happened.  How I missed out on my soul mate."

***

I could hear them talking in the kitchen.  I had feared this day for years, and the meeting with Cristina had compounded my fears.  It had honestly been very difficult to turn her down.  It's why I had reacted the way I did.  I was pushing her as far away as possible in the most blunt, mean spirited away I could.  It wasn't the nicest way to handle things, and I wasn't proud of it, but in my mind it was the only way.  Pushing away anyone that might upset what we had.  But I couldn't push Damon away.  Lilly had to do that.

I gave them space to talk, but I could hear every word.  The house wasn't that big, and with all the windows open the words carried.

“So, why him?” Damon asked, more curious than anything it sounded.  Unlike Cristina, he was taking all of this pretty well.

“What?”

“What made you decide to be with him rather than wait for me?”

“Well, for one thing, I knew him.  I didn't know you.  You were just a name.  He and I went through a lot together.  It brought us closer.  And, honestly, I never believed in all this Fate stuff.  Neither of us did.  He felt like he was my soulmate, despite what my wrist said.”

“And now?”

“I'm not sure.  It's gotten very complicated.”

“I knew the moment I saw you.  I didn't need to see your wrist, I didn't need to know your name.  It was a feeling, like nothing before.  Did you feel it?”

“Honestly?  I felt sick.  Torn.  I think a part of me knew.  A part of me was afraid you might be my soulmate.  That I might have to choose.  Ash isn't perfect, but we've been through so much together.  He's been so good to me, I don't want to leave him.  I can't hurt him like that."

There was an air of inevitability in her voice.  She sounded resigned to her fate.  Defeated.  Still, I sat there.  I would not force her to choose; she needed to make this decision on her own.

"Look, I'm not trying to break things up between you guys.  I mean, you've made it this far and bucked the odds.  If you want to stay with him, I'll understand.  Just, think about it, ok?"

"I will."

I heard the chairs move and stood, walking out of the house and waiting to accept the inevitable.  It was hard to believe this was how it would end.  After everything that had happened, this was what was going to destroy our relationship.  I'll admit, my mind raced with a million thoughts, most of them bad.  But when she walked out the door  and smiled at me, I felt that familiar buzz return.  She was as beautiful as the first time I saw her, maybe more so because I knew every scar that had made her into the woman before me.   And I did something I'd never done before.  I walked over, I grabbed her and I kissed her with every ounce of my being.  The kind of kiss you save for the wedding.  I poured my soul into her.

She stepped back, looking half confused and half excited.  "What brought that on?"

"I love you.  Always have, always will."

Her smile faded.  "I know, Ash.  I love you too.  And we've had a lot of wonderful times together.  I never imagined anyone would make me feel the way you do.  When he opened the door and spoke, I understood what you talked about feeling the first time you saw me.  That's what makes this whole situation so difficult."

"I just-". I stopped myself from saying that I didn't understand.  No, I understood.  I'd felt it when I saw Cristina.  She was like a living fantasy, standing before me ready to be mine.  There had been significant portions of my brain telling me to end things with Lily, to reconcile things with my parents.  To be normal.  "No, that's not it.  Lily, look, you make your decision.  You're not wrong, to want to not have to deal with explaining this to your children, to not want to have to cover up so people don't ask questions.   I understand if you choose normalcy. We chose a difficult path.". I leaned back against the trunk of the car.

Lily settled in next to me and leaned her head against my shoulder.  "We did.  And I don't regret a minute of it.  The arguments, the bad days, the screaming match in the living room of that first apartment.  I slowly realized why I got upset with you, why your words hurt like nobody else's.  Why things felt different with you.

If I go with Damon because of fate, then what's the point of life?  Everything is already planned out, and nothing I do matters.  It's all out of my hands, all preconceived and written in stone.  And yeah, maybe on some primal level we don't yet understand, there's something that makes this automatic connection between two people who are meant to be together.  But that isn't love, not like what we have.  That takes time, struggle, passion and pain.  All the things we've been through, all the times it would have been easy to walk away meant nothing if it ends here, over some cute guy I just met.  If I end it here, then I have been lying to you and to myself for the last few years when I tell you I love you.

I never intended to leave you, but I couldn't just crush him, not like you did with Cristina.  I had to talk with him.  I wanted to know what it felt like to spend your whole life searching for someone.

But in the end,I knew we had something special.  Something more than Fate.  We have true love, and I want us to keep writing our story."

I was almost in tears.  This woman, who meant more to me than anyone ever had (and, save for our kids down the road, more than anyone ever would).  She had stared her fate in the eyes and not blinked, not backed down.  I knew it wasn't an easy thing to do.  That she did it successfully made me love her more.

***

Lily and I had 3 kids; Ada, our oldest girl was the spitting image of her mother and Daddy's little girl.  Eva, our youngest, was a tomboy and a wild child; my mother would have adored her.  Leo was the apple of his mother's eye; he stole her heart with that first look just like his Dad.  When they got to the point they were old enough to date, we told them the truth.  Told them the tattoo on their wrist was a suggestion, but that there was no predestined path.  Life, it turns out, is about the choices you make along the way.  Enjoying the company you keep and the ride you take and making your own decisions.

Life is about more than Fate.

Everyone has the name of their supposed soulmate printed on the inside of your wrist. You, however, are defiant, and begin dating someone that’s not your soulmate. It turns out that not meeting someone with the magic expectation that you’re ‘meant to be for each other and will get married and live happily ever after’ actually made you two get along pretty well, and you’re now deeply in love with them. However, after several years of dating this person, both your and your S.O.’s real 'soulmates’ find you, and they’re both furious that you didn’t wait for them.

[alillenn]

I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't headcanon Jimmy and Curly as childhood friends. Idk why but I see them as meeting later in life as adults. Maybe it's that Curly says "I've known him for a long time," instead of something like "I've known him forever," or "I've known him my whole life," or something along those lines. I just think Curly would say something to allude to an even bigger chunk of time that they've known each other if that were the case, but maybe that's just how my brain works.

I think they'd be in their mid to late 30s with Curly being the older one by a few years when canon takes place and probably in their early 20s when they meet for the first time.

I think the way they meet is something like a mutual friend introduces them. They do share a friend group so that's not unlikely. Jimmy is standoffish and intimidating because he's never been good at meeting new people, and who was this dork that his friend was trying to introduce him to? In reality, Curly is way cooler than Jimmy and he can feel that. It makes him insecure about his place in the friend group.

Eventually, Jimmy realizes Curly isn't too bad. They even become closer friends with each other than either of them were with the mutual friend that introduced them.

Curly's surprisingly good at handling Jimmy's irrational thought process when he's having a bad day. He's a grounding force that can absorb the strays that Jimmy throws at him and guide him toward something more productive. To an extent, of course. Jimmy also knows how to hurt someone with surgical precision that even Curly has no defenses for. Jimmy knows when he goes too far, though, and has his ways of apologizing. None of which ever include the words "I'm sorry," of course, but Curly is generous enough to read between the lines. More generous than Jimmy deserves sometimes.

Jimmy may not be great with words, but when Curly can't muster the strength to get out of bed or leave the house, Jimmy has no problem hanging out on his couch or at the foot of his bed just to keep him some company. He knows what it's like to want to crawl into a hole and not come out, and sometimes another person just existing around you in silence is enough to help you snap out of it.

Both of them drink and smoke pretty heavily, and they enable each other horribly in that way. Constant shot challenges and trying to out-drink each other. Weekends become a blur from 5 pm Friday night to 6 am Monday morning. They grow out of this for the most part by their late 20s but not before both of them spend a night in the drunk tank and Jimmy loses his license once.

Curly is the first one to clean up. He wants something more out of life than his current reality. Luckily for him, he meets a recruiter for a long haul space freighter company who's hiring and offers (unpaid) on-the-job training, no college degree required! What an opportunity!

It's hard, being away from everything you've ever known for months on end, traveling to planets and space stations you never get to actually see for customers you never get to know carrying unknown cargo that must be valuable, because it's protected better than your own sleeping quarters.

There's a distance between Curly and Jimmy the first time he returns. Their friends throw a party, and Jimmy is genuinely happy to see him again, even if he is pissed that he decided to leave for some stupid job. Things are almost like they were before. Almost. Curly doesn't drink as much, and he doesn't smoke at all, not wanting to get addicted again before his next mission and all that.

It's like Jimmy's meeting him for the first time again. Sure he's still the same in the ways that matter, but... he's different. He's changed. And Jimmy hasn't.

Things never quite go back to how they were, but nothing ever does, right? They're both in their 30s now, they can't keep living like they're 25. It's a miracle neither of them ended up with a kid amongst all the other dumb shit they've done. Curly's always been a romantic, waiting until he finds "the one," whatever that means, before he ditches the condoms. And Jimmy's sperm count is too low to make unprotected sex a meaningful risk. Juvenile behavior aside, they still make the most of the time that they do get together.

It's during one of these "off seasons" that Jimmy isn't able to pretend. He got fired about a month or two ago, and his unemployment is going to dry up soon. A lightbulb goes off in Curly's head. Turnover is pretty high at Pony Express, and another crewmember just quit after this most recent mission ended.

It takes a lot of convincing and breaking through Jimmy's reinforced walls, but Curly finally persuades his best friend to join him. Living on a spaceship is better than living on the streets. For the first time in years, they'll get to see each other more than a few times every other year. Who knows, they'll be seeing each other every day, maybe they'll even get sick of each other.

Just because Curly's co-captain now doesn't mean his best friend can jump the line. Jimmy has to climb the ladder the same as everyone else did. But connections do matter in this business, and Curly has always vouched for his friend. It's only a few more years before Curly gets the captain's seat, and he has just the person in mind to fill the chair to his left.

[dragqueenstarscream]

same tfone starop anon (and starop with a casual filled valve anon, but I assume that's obvious since I mentioned the other ask in my first one LOL. either way hi again.) sorry in advance for how long this ask is I'm kind of #going through it

going back to tfone since I rewatched it again with oomf and tfone starop is still interesting to me. Orion getting into Sentinel's tower and running immediately to D-16 because that's his best friend, but he can feel Starscream's eyes boring into the back of his helm. Jealous not only because Orion immediately went to someone else, but that someone else is D-16, the person who damaged his vocal processor. Orion catching his eyes behind D-16's face and his eyes soften for just a moment, seeing the hurt in Starscream's eyes.

The way Starscream cowered and hid when the high guards' base was raided I could see him getting separated from Orion in the conflict, the two maybe making eye contact for a split second before some bot slams into Orion. Starscream trying to get to him after he's buried under the rubble and protect his new treasure, only to get taken by Sentinel's forces.

and then the ending, seeing D-16 blast Orion apart and drop him into the planet's core, too stunned to speak. Thinking about how the person Orion put before him just let him go like he was worth nothing, like nothing he did mattered.

and when Optimus is fighting against Soundwave/Starscream/Shockwave/Megatron, Starscream just hesitating for a moment. Pulling his punches and trying to target his explosives on non vital parts of Optimus like limbs. And when Megatron is banished, he just has to turn and leave. He looks back, and he sees Orion's eyes for a moment, before they harden back into Optimus because Orion fell into Primus and Optimus crawled out.

okay that was much more serious than I planned LOL I love the idea of a possessive clingy Starscream watching what he just built fall apart so quickly. also I think eye contact is a huge thing for Orion, something Starscream picks up on very quickly and tries to reciprocate.

okay on a less serious note going back to sex I still stand by pentup easily overstimulated Starscream but I also really like the idea of him being way more in control than Orion, using the thrusters in his pedes to keep up a brutal pace on Orion's spike, telling him how good he's doing for a bot who just got his cog and how happy he's making Starscream. That he's so good at it and he's so talented. these two can feed into eachother however methinks because I like Starscream starting off overconfident and domineering and reduced to a babbling mess of praises and various death threats as Orion takes him. Orion headgame exceptional as well I love the idea of him getting Starscream to come *way* faster than he expected and he's just got a dumb smile, transfluid dripping down his chin as Starscream is gasping for breath. Optimus Prime would be very different.

Hypothetical tfone future ofc but Starscream on some mission in Iacon, accidentally encountering Optimus in an alleyway or something. Optimus just sighs and comments how they're going in circles, how they should just acknowledge they happened for one night and it was incredible. Starscream says something back about how Optimus left him before it quickly devolves into desperate frotting and leaking plates because Starscream missed him so much and Optimus needs him. okay ask over I will be back.

ohhhhhh the ANGST! THE ANGST POTENTIAL WITH TFONE STAROP, it's SO DAMN GOOD

the betrayal starscream feels upon watching the one who saved him from getting murdered running to save his potential murderer, only for said potential murderer to actually kill orion right in front of him... shit, imagine if that was what led starscream to betray megatron! like, he's not an idiot, he knows that megatron tried to kill him. what if him joining the decepticons instead of staying in iacon is part of an elaborate plan to usurp him, take back control of the high guard, and finally get his revenge?? OOOOH i love a starscream who's in for the long haul!

and starscream not recognizing the orion still in optimus when optimus erupts from cybertron's core is always so good! like yeah, optimus has to make the hard choice now. even if starscream tried to pull his punches, he tried to destroy iacon, and now he has to suffer the consequences. no matter how much it hurts him.

the difference between interface with orion and optimus is also peak. orion is a lot more eager and willing to please, while optimus will make it clear that he's the one in control in this scenario. orion will let starscream take the reins, guiding him, hanging onto his every praise, until starscream's a drooling mess from just how good orion is once he gets into the swing of things. meanwhile, optimus is willing to make starscream work for it. starscream may think he hates optimus now, but that doesn't seem to be the case when optimus has starscream rutting against his thigh, his plates leaking transfluid, frantically chasing an overload because dammit, he misses orion, optimus, whoever this is, and he's gonna take this opportunity while he has it.

[121231212i]

Sometimes I wish hsr characters have their own birthdays

[icantspellthings]

But all the Vulcan beliefs are literally centred around Surak, V'tosh Katur rejects his teachings and are literally exiled from *the entire planet*. Logical extremist also believe in Surkas teaching but in a more extreme and religious kind of way. Bigoted Vulcans still follow the rest of Suraks teaching just excluding IDIC. This literally just shows that they have variations in *ONE* same belief centred around one guy SURAK. Is there no other cultural icons that challenges this one man, no alternatives at all? Just variations of the same core beliefs, it's like saying there's diversity if they're all Christians but it's Catholic, orthodox and protestants. Yeah it variations but it's of the same thing.

And the universal translator thing is such a cop out answer they neve mention any different languages at ALL. And how am I supposed to know of any difference in culture if they don't show it to us am I just supposed to imagine that all my criticism of is delt with off screen when the protagonist isn't there? Not showing it to the audience is virtually the same as not writing it in, how am I supposed to know they had imagined diversity somewhere else?

My biggest pet peeve with star trek and honestly scifi in general is that they always have the entire alien planet speak the same language, have the same religion, and the same culture. Somehow, humans are the only multicultural ones in the entire galaxy, you wouldn't expect someone from Italy to speak Japanese. Meanwhile, all of Klingon speaks the one same language, every Bajoran believes in the Prophets, and all Vulcans follow the teachings of Surak.

[knaveofmogadore]

So like, imagine this. It's the first big family reunion after COVID restrictions let up, your family took a few years to all get vaccinated, ect. Your kid is 6, so they weren't old enough to take to the last one, this is the first time they're meeting some of these more distant relatives. So you introduce them to Uncle Mike, and you say "This is Uncle Mike. He thinks you're so small and delicious, and that it'd be so easy to pick you up and throw you at the nearest wall and break all your bones." If that 6 year old then power kicks uncle Mike in the nuts and runs away screaming, whose fault is that?

So this post is about Doctor Who. The patron unknowable Eldritch entity of your country has just spent an entire afternoon telling you that the universe is full of things that are stronger and bigger than you, and a lot of them will happily blenderize your planet for a bit of rocket fuel, or eat all of you for a big Sunday brunch. And he's letting that ship full of slavers happily fly away to tell the entire galaxy about your tiny planet's existence. You are an animal, your empathy and reason only extends to the boundaries of what you can understand, and the Doctor has just told you that the vast majority of the galaxy sees you as prey. Me, personally? I'm with Harriet, I wouldn't stand a chance in that situation, I'd 100% take that shot.

All I'm saying is that if the Doctor wanted to foster empathy, they probably shouldn't have started with enthusiastically explaining how cleverly the aliens were going to coerce them into slavery, especially not to a woman who grew up in Britain as it rebuilt itself from the blitz in a post-nazi Europe

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 16: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should offer to help the travelers with their broken wagon.....

~

After much internal deliberation (and some zoning out staring at butterflies), The Adventurer decides it would be best to offer his assistance. Technically, he IS still following his goal of not getting distracted, because theoretically it would make his journey much faster if he were able to catch a ride on a carriage. So really, this is all an ultimate big brain genius strategy for maximizing efficient travel.. Or, at least that sounds like a good enough justification to him.

Gathering up all of his social courage, he approaches one of the travelers fiddling with a broken wheel near the far end of the carriage and meekly asks if there's anything he could do to help.

The man was so focused on his task, he seems initially startled to look up and find someone near him. "OH..! Oh, uhh.. help? With the wagon?", he smiles pleasantly, gesturing towards a few wooden boards that are just out of his reach, "Sure, kid. If you could just hand me th-"

"Apologies, but we actually won't be needing your assistance, stranger." A taller man, surprisingly almost matching the stature of the Adventurer, suddenly slinks out from somewhere behind the carriage, sternly placing himself like a barrier in front of the man working on the wheel. Wheel Guy nervously averts his eyes, making himself smaller, silently resuming his work.

The Adventurer tries his best to maintain composure against the weight of the tall man's bitter gaze, but can't seem to muster much of a response "Aeughh,,, uh… b-but, h- Bu--HHHh,,?.."

"Look, disregard whatever my father told you, he's old, never has any clue what he's talking about. It'd be best for you to simply move along." ('Father'? They don't look alike at all, and seem to be nearly the same age..)

"W-well.. he.. he didn't really tell me anything, I me-hhH,,.. I mean, I literally just got here, s-so...."

"Good. Even more reason to be on your way."

Placing a gloved hand firmly on his shoulder, the tall man begins to motion the Adventurer away from the wagon, but a strange noise interrupts, echoing from inside. Perhaps some sort of animal sound? Or a person faintly yelling about something? Or… both?

"WH-wHggg… whAT was t-that???!!" The Adventurer immediately stops in place, pausing to listen as the tall man keeps trying to push him ahead.

"I didn't hear anything, stranger."

"No, t-there.. was dEFinitely, UHH, a-"

"Likely something in the forest."

"Wh--aah... d.. do you think it was an animal?"

The tall man continues a dramatic struggle to 'subtly' drag him further down the road, whilst the Adventurer mindlessly digs in his heels, too distracted to even notice he's being so strongly prompted to leave.

"Many animals do, indeed, exist within forests. This should not be suprising."

"...It's just.. ..eughh… s… so weird…"

"I assure you, it is not."

"I-it really sounded like.. like it came f-from insid-"

"Yes, from inside the forest. Now, please, if you would.."

The noise interrupts again. It's definitely someone, or something, in some sort of distress.. And definitely from inside of the cart.

"wHoAAGH, aa!!! T-tHat's NOT from the f-forest, that-"

The tall man fully just shoves him now, sending the Adventurer toppling across the dirt, clumsily rolling and landing just past the other side of the carriage. A mother and young child who seem to be part of the traveling group simply stare down at him with empty blank gazes, wholly unconcerned about helping him up.

As the Adventurer fumbles back to his feet (still confused as to why he was even pushed in the first place), the tall man looms by the carriage, diligently watching to ensure that he leaves.

"Travel safe, stranger."

Despite his initial obliviousness, the Adventurer begins to piece the situation together as he stares back at the man, now fully convinced something suspicious might be going on...

…What should he do next??

~

~

~

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

[emptyjunior]

Enough random notes that have a written story on them as environmental storytelling, explore the space, get crazier with it.

You move into a house and aw cute, it has the kids height on the walls but you notice there's a three foot difference in height between measurements, you check the date, they're a month apart. The final measurement is on the ceiling. It's dated two days ago.

You're part of a recovery team that have finally found a stranded ship, they were found too late and have all passed a long time ago. They all died of starvation. You enter their storeroom, it's filled with food. In the dining hall you find the tables laden with perfectly fine looking breads, cakes, cured meats, jams, candies. Your medic says all the people sitting at the table didn't eat a Thing.

You wake up in an apocalypse. You can't find anyone at all as you wander the streets but you do hear faint music playing from somewhere. You stumble into a supermarket, to see all the aisles still full, except for the shelf that was full of ear plugs, which look to be the only thing that was looted.

Like there's light, sound, props. Having a street where every house is decimated except for One. Landing on a planet known for having No Water and a plant is growing and you don't know where it could have possibly gotten moisture from but you can't find the citizens Anywhere.

I'm sorry, I'm just kinda over the "graffiti on the wall to show the bad guy is around". That's not environmental storytelling that's just normal story. Show me I'm in the villains territory by the rain suddenly cutting out above me as I'm driving, even though it's meant to be raining all night. I park the car and step out, and realise the constellations are Wrong, until I see they're Not constellations, they're the blinking lights of a massive ship-

I Will stop now because everytime I go to write a sentence it devolves into another prompt but I'm just saying we have a Lot of senses, engage them, show me the Environment in environmental storytelling.

[thedropsofblood]

A wolf in hunter's clothing

Warnings: Dub-con, age gap (????), mostly gender neutral but made with male reader in mind, size difference, started as rough -> slightly sweet mid-way, bratty reader, overstimulation, blindfolding, implied obsessive behaviour.

Word count: 8k

Minors DNI, do not report, I WILL cry /nsrs

Isekai, the act of transporting a person from earth to a different planet, world, universe, usually of a novel or a video game. It was a childish concept that you haven't bothered and never intended to look into, until you got 'isekaied' yourself.

Unlike what your younger siblings have told you, instead of beautiful vast magical worlds filled with sub-human species and a logical storyplot, you ended up in the most boring case scenario, a fairy tale. Specifically, the "Red Riding Hood" children's book that fell out of the shelf and onto the ground next to you while you were at a bookstore.

As any normal person does, you picked up the book, hoping to put it back to it's original spot, but got your body sucked into the pages instead. To be fair, it could've been worse, so, so much worse. You luckily didn't become the new Red Riding Hood, instead, you became the older brother of the Red Riding Hood.

It's not as bad as it sounds, like, you have a loving and caring family of both parents and an adorable younger sister, as well as a grandmother who you occasionally visits for the first 18 years of your life. What more could you ask for?

The life of your younger sister, that's what you could ask for. Even if they're technically not real, you couldn't help but care for them, care for the years of family meetings, the little happy moments, the vacations, even something as trivial as a meal together. And yet, imagine how your heart sunk in once you heard your mother tell your sister to deliver the cookies to your grandmother tomorrow after hearing rumors of the hunter being on break on the same day.

It made your anxiety levels go wayhire. Your sister's and your grandmother's life depended on the hunter after all, what would happen to them if there's no more hunter? Will they die under the wolf's hands? Can you even escape this book if they die?

.

.

.

Would you be trapped here forever then? What about your family outside of this? Would they even still remember you after 18 years? Worse, what if they just, hate you now?

Why should you even leave this place if that's the case?...

You crawled onto a ball on your bed, hugging onto the soft pillow in search of even a little bit of comfort. This place wasn't real, none of this is, your world was simply a scramble of words combined together by some random old man hundreds of years back, hell, you weren't even supposed to be here, why would you care if your supposed 'sister' and 'grandmother' dies?

Yet you found yourself restless. You had an idea on what to do, god knows if it'll work, but... It'll never hurt to try, right?

You throw your pillow away and change into warmer clothes, turning off the lights before sneaking out of the house through the window, heading directly towards the bright tavern in the middle of the town.

"Brother, why are you not eating? Do you not like it?" The voice of your sister knocked you right out of your thoughts, scrambling to take a bite out of the sandwich she made for you.

"No no- it's good, it's good, I'm just thinking about what I need to get for groceries." Your sister barely bought your excuse, barely. You can still see her crossing her arms and pouting in the corner of your eyes. She was glaring at you for a few solid minutes, as if trying to pry the truth from you. With a huff, she leaned back against the chair and muttered under her breath.

"Remember to buy some candy for me while you're at it then, I'm gonna go now. I don't wanna leave grandma waiting." You let out a mental sigh of relief, ruffling your little sister's hair. "You're just as childish as ever." You chuckled.

Before you sister leaves, she jumped into your arms to give you a hug causing a small smile escapes from your mouth. Your hand reached up to pat her on the head, if you had to be honest, you don't know if you regret your deal with the hunter or not anymore.

"Shit... If I knew slacking off would get you on my dick, I would've taken so many vacations."

The hunter chuckled, leaning in to place a loving kiss on your forehead. You pushed his head back to give him a glare, well, as best as a glare could be with the blindfold covering your eyes. You barked, gritting your teeth as you tried to kick him in the stomach.

"Shut the fuck up and just get it done with already. This deal was only for my family, bastard. Bet you can't even get anyone else to get into bed with you without forcing them into shitty deals-" Your words were cut mid way when he firmly slapped you across your face, his other hand gripping your ankle and hosteling your leg onto his shoulder.

You hissed in annoyance, yet a part of you felt pride for successfully pissing the hunter off. You can only assume what his face was like right now, is he glaring down at you like a lamb in the slaughter or is that stupid smug smirk on his face away? You didn't even have time to guess twice before he shoved his fingers into your mouth with a firm "Suck."

You held yourself back from laughing when you got your answer immediately, this guy was pissed as fuck. You decided to comply anyways, sucking on his fingers and making sure to bite them lightly as you pulled back.

"Sweetheart, did nobody teach you to not play with fire?" His hand wandered down to thrust his fingers roughing into you, his other hand gripping onto your chin to muffle your noises with a kiss.

This fucking bastard didn't even give you a warning before he turned you into puddy over his fingers, you bit onto the bottom of his lips, but instead of him pulling away, he continued on, ignoring the way you clawed onto his back as if you were trying to murder him.

Your hands reach up to try and remove your blindfold out of annoyance, leading to his hand snapping up to hold your wrists together, the other one pulling out of you to unbuckle his belt. "Good boys don't disobey their orders, sweetheart." He chuckled half-heartedly.

That scratched you in the worst way possible, but before you could even react, he thrust the tip of his dick into you, stealing all the air out of your lungs. "Fucking! Ugh- Warn me!" Your nails dug onto your palm, you felt like all your body strength just disappeared into thin air.

You didn't even have time to complain about it after he thrusted fully into you, huffing at the sight of your body shaking like a leaf under him. It was adorable how your attitude went away as soon as he entered, but to be fair, you would probably be more horrified when you realized his dick made a small bump on your stomach.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" He chuckled, placing a kiss on your forehead as he started moving at a fairly gentle pace. He freed your wrists to grip onto your hips, leaning forward to place comforting kisses on your neck. "Come on, let me hear those beautiful noises of yours, sweetheart."

You bit the bottom of your lip to the point of drawing blood, your hands gripping onto the bedsheets underneath to the point of your knuckles turning white. Despite your efforts, some small muffled noises still managed to escape your throat, which was enough for him to speed up his ravage with a satisfied grin.

"You're truly so, so adorable, sweetheart." He groaned, hugging you and burying his face into your collarbone. Your hand moved to grip onto his hair to try and push him away, but it barely felt like anything to him due to the lack of strength in your body. Your antics didn't last long anyways, you were already a cock-drunk moaning mess under him, and at this point, he thinks he likes you better this way.

Those thoughts made him bite your neck roughly as he threw away all self control he had, prioritizing on chasing his own pleasure instead. You wouldn't have complained if you didn't get overstimulated from that, you already came a few moments beforehand, and he didn't even give you a break from abusing your sweet spot even more.

You couldn't be bothered to try and stay quiet when you felt like you would break under him. As a warm feeling filled your stomach, you felt lightheaded as you closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself down from the climax.

He pulled you into a hug, his hand patting you on the back of your head as he pulled out and rested you on your side. Before you drifted off to sleep, you felt a kiss on your cheek as he muttered something you couldn't make out.

A/N: This was supposed to be wolf X reader but I felt like writing some dilfs today, wondering if I should start writing more dilfs...

[bet-on-me-13]

The Ambassador

So! It was finally happening. After Years of Pleading with the Guardians and other Ruling Bodies of the Galactic Community, the Justice League had finally gotten then to agree to create an Alliance with Earth.

With an Alliance, Earth would gain the Protection of Multiple Empires and The Guardians, which would mean an end to the Constant Alien Invasions they faced. There was also the legal opening of Trade Routes between Planets to exchange Technology and Resources on the Galactic Scale.

Of course Earth would return the Favor, legally being able to defend it's Allies with its unusually large population if Superheroes and quickly advancing Tech, while also trading Tech and Resources between Planets.

Of course the battle was not entirely won yet.

They still needed to begin Negotiations to see if both sides would even agree to the Alliance in the First Place, as well as decide on the specifics of the Treaty. The United Nation's would decide on Ambassadors to represent the different countries, while the different Alien Governments would send an Ambassador Each.

When the Ambassadors arrived, they asked to be introduced to the Representatives of the Planet. Except, they claimed that there was a missing Member.

They claimed that there was one more Major Kingdom on the Planet, the most Powerful One, which they felt must be at the Negotiations.

When asked who this missing Ambassador was, they simply replied, "King Phantom of the Infinite Realms, he and a Shard of his Kingdom reside on this Planet, do they not?"

Now they are working around the clock to find this missing Kingdom, because the Alien Ambassadors refused to negotiate without the most powerful Kingdom at the Table, and they woud not wait forever.

Just who was this "King Phantom", and why had he not revealed himself yet?

...

Sam and Tucker sat on the Couch in their apartment, staring at the TV as the Chosen Representatives for America finished their Speech. Apparently the Peace Talks had been put on Hold for a few more days as they did some last minute preparations. Something about making their Guests more comfortable before they began discussing politics.

"Hey Danny, they're delaying the Negotiations for a few more days." Sam called over to the Kitchen.

"Aw, what?!" Shouted Danny from the Kitchen, sounding extremely disappointed, "I just finished making all the Popcorn!"

"I know Honey, its too bad." Tucker comforted his Partner, "Let's marathon Star Trek instead, how about that?"

Danny slumped out of kitchen and into the Couch between them, steaming bowl of Popcorn in his Lap, "I guess. We can make good use of all this popcorn at least."

Sam patted him on the arm, "Hey it's okay, the Talks will just take a few more days."

Danny shrugged, "Yeah, you're right. Man, what I wouldn't give to be in that Room."

[yearningaces]

So...

You know how if you're (American) in another country, and find another American and all the sudden it's like 'Hey! Friend! Friend! That's my bestie!' That person could be from an entirely different state but all the sudden you're similar around the unfamiliar so you're buddies!

Does that happen with monsters?

Better yet-

Say you're a human, the only human being hired onto a large cargo ship that travels planet to planet through space. Most of the others you work with are so different in appearance and species you sometimes don't know even if some of them have eyes, or just use a form of echolocation.

Still! It's a nice job, you're given respect due to your status as (a deathworlder) a human, and you're settling in nicely the first few days.

There's a pack of aliens you haven't met yet though, The Aslai.

Huge creatures with a semi-humanoid appearance paired with patches of striped fur across varying parts of them. A maw that unhinges in three distinct separation points, fur tipped tails that vary with color, and slightly elongated limbs.

Of course, the Aslai are the engineers. They work in the sub-floor deck where the machinery and engines are stationed. Heavy creatures with prehensile tails that can lift just as much as their long, burly arms. Creatures made to be strong, and with vast intelligence, the Aslai are perfect for such jobs. Most times they flock to them, truthfully.

Like how winged and levitating aliens prefer jobs that involve them leaving the ship where they can move freely through open space with the right gear.

The first time you see one of the Aslai, they're walking with heavy boot steps to the mess hall. You both freeze in the hall though.

For you? It's got a human-ish face and you're experiencing one hell of a level of the uncanny valley effect in real time.

For Hesh, you look like a softer, mini version of the Aslai. Their tail flicks in excitement and with heavy steps they draw closer. A brighter fur pattern than their fellow Aslai, they're noticeable by anyone. They croon in a low gruff tone, reaching out and prodding at your arms, legs, cheeks, happily babbling in some method of communication you can't exactly understand.

It's when the other three Aslai suddenly appear with different fur patterns and facial structures, mimicking the first one that you seem to realize they're 'cooing' over you. Like if you saw a stray cat on the way home...

You're about to say anything when one of the botanist -a Threxacord by the looks of its mandibles- speaks sharply, "Don't you have somewhere to be, human??"

Technically it's right... You're not at your post, but you were told by your immediate boss you could go on lunch. You don't have a chance to explain that though, not when the second largest Aslai lifts you up and sets you on its shoulders.

"Don't talk to our human that way." The rough, crackley voice is a shock to anyone who hears it, but the pack of Aslai seem comfortable. You can only hand onto the horns atop it's head to keep in place as a different one continues, each on the same thought process.

"Drunum, shouldn't you be tending to your artificial soils?" It's more of a throaty growl than words, but the irritation is clear.

It's only when Drunum hisses as it retreat when the Aslai you're semi-surrounded by relax, looking over at you with bright, fanged grins. They seem to each be muttering variations of the same phrases.

"Oooh, little Aslai! Honorary Aslai!"

"Are you a meat eater too? I bet you're a meat eater-"

"You're warm blooded, that's great! So am I!"

"Look, you've got five fingers too! No claws, but that's okay!"

The pack easily brings you to the mess hall, deciding then and there you're one of them. Just a tiny version. Practically cousin species!

I was going somewhere with this

[princepestilence]

One of the more exasperating things about living a life on this planet has to be how doomed we are just to fall into the same pit one after another for infinite generations, even if you know the pit is coming up. It's a completely unavoidable event. Because you start out young and clever and there's all these well-meaning older people who will try to give you advice about the big picture things of being human

--and it's always some stupid trite bullshit. Despicable platitudes. If it was that easy, the world would be a different place, so you decide when you're old, you're going to say actual real meaningful things when you give advice and not just watery sop like this.

Then you get older and real experiences happen to you along the way, and you realise that's it. There isn't anything else to say. That's the absolute best advice we've got for saying the enormity of what you're feeling in these moments, stress-tested over a hundred thousand years of going through it. And it still sounds like sop, except you hear through that now to the truth inside.

And despite all this and how badly you want to warn them, no young people will ever be able to understand how genuinely and sincerely you mean it when you try to share this truth, and will only hear the platitudes and stupid trite bullshit. They won't really understand you, even if they want to believe you, because they can't. Not really. And you can't save them from going in the pit. They have to go in the pit. It's the only way.

You can even tell them that they will have to go in the pit before things begin to make a kind of sense, and sometimes they get a little mad at you because they already know everything and the pit sounds stupid. And it is. And they're still going to go in it. It will teach them and change them and then it will be their turn to be disbelieved by annoyed young people who they can't save from the future.

Sorry and good luck, I guess.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro Notes : Short N Sweet <3 Neptune's Revenge

Neptune 1st House - Popular energy. Very well known for their beautiful, majestic energy. Could have a lot of haters but admirers at the same time. Energetically sensitive to alot of others emotions. Sometimes, it can be a lil confusing holding so much power. Because their energy can be mixed up with someone elses if they don't know how to tell the difference. They usually have a strong sense of self, its just other peoples opinions can get in away of that if they arent careful.

Neptune 2nd House - Could use some help on the financial train. They're organic to the way they use their money. I mean, they could be super horrendous spender, spending each and every dime on any and everything. While still some how always having more in their wallet. Or they could be pretty good at saving and are a little bit of a cheapskate.

Neptune 3rd House - Whimsical voices. Poetic writers. Creative thinkers. Very talented when it comes to the hands as well. Could be excellent drawers & painters. Neptune in the 3rd has an ability to travel to very interesting places that aren't too far at home. They may go on lil adventures here and there. But its always a treat. Its kinda strange how well they can be at finding good eats as well with all the travel they do. Could work abroad or go to college somewhere out of their comfort zone a lil.

Neptune 4th House - Has a lot of secrets when it comes to the inner child. Very free, sweet loving children. Can open a door to different realms like we're in Narnia or something. Angelic creatures who enjoy alone time near their favorite place. If they ever share that special place with you consider yourself lucky. They normally keep the things they cherish hidden for a long time.

Neptune in the 5th House - Artists who seek deep into the art and become it. Very creative & a one of a kind with the way they carry the emotion in what it is they do. Can have you thinking hard on what it is they are trying to convey, they are a master at making complexities more harder to figure out. Just be there in the audience and watch the show. You'll never leave the same again.

Neptune in the 6th House - Fun loving pet owners, they go hard for the planet and the creatures that come from it. Real advocates for change and don't take too kindly to insensitive people. Could need to sharpen their boundaries a little more with people. Also, are incredible writers and should tap into this side a bit more. You might end up surprised with what talents you have that could make you some money, or could be a really cool job.

Neptune in the 7th House - Romance is the thing that just keeps on given to these individuals. May need to put the rose colored glasses down. that man might not be for you, love. Don't forget to put more time into your own needs versus the needs of someone else. Your compassionate energy may run dry if you're not using that waterfall of emotion for yourself. People are drawn to 7th house neptunes alot more than you think. They are capable of seeing thru the veil, you just don't notice.

Neptune in the 8th House - Psychologically understands the reasons on why the universe is the way that it is and why the people in it behave the way that we do. Could be honest about a lot of things, dishonest about what they know. The world doesn't need to know everything, which is why the divine gifted them with certain antidotes. Only they can use this so bring healing to a certain nation (or individual) but not everyone can find this secret the way they can. This is normally given to them by spirit guides, ancestors, or thru drreams.

Neptune in the 9th - Impracticality is almost their birth right. They see things in a way that doesnt make sense at all but to them it means something. What I mean is that these people see the world bigger than what they people tell them. They could have big drams and not understand why they have them, but God put them their for a reason. So you can figure them out. You may want to travel and study abroad, or just move somewhere different and don't know how. Thats where all the magic happens, finding out and taking the risk. The sagittarian way.

Neptune in the 10th - Majestic auras. The highlight of the moment. The star. The siren. The energy healer. Do I keep going? Very special creatures who touched this earth to make their dreams come true, even if they have to figure it out themselves. Empathetic to the people around them and are big on helping out with anything whenever they can. The Queens & Kings of the law of attraction. Can attract what they want if they just believe it in it more.

Neptune in the 11th House - Community leaders. Ancients who know they way to what the true reality is meant to be like. Literally can change the world with the way they move, think, and go around helping others. Sweet and lovely people to be around. Needs healing in their own friend groups. Can be a little out there, but thats why people love them.

Neptune in the 12th House - Practical minds in a world that tells them their crazy. No they arent crazy, they just have multiple psychic gifts. And these gifts have a way in showing them things people aren't usually equipped with handling. They need more time alone and in nature to keep themselves grounded. Other wise, they will go crazy from the world telling them that their crazy... When really they know a little more than what they led on. The imagination is a fun place, but also a place where the most hidden becomes entirely to open. Seers of the daylight & the night.

[katakaluptastrophy]

This is your semi-regular reminder that for all that he very much leans into being 'just a guy', John Gaius is a horribly unsettling and disturbing eldritch entity who has not been entirely human for 10,000 years:

As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you... I hid you in me. And when we were together... I became God..

We're repeatedly told how uncanny Alecto was. And how terribly ordinary-looking John is...but how deeply, deeply upsetting his eyes are to behold. They're repeatedly described as "monstrous" (on one occasion, directly before John jokes "I'm not a monster"), as well as "terrible", "like dead planets", "primordial", "chthonic", "inconceivable", and "deeply fucked up".

There are multiple descriptions of how his down to earth persona suddenly falls away and he can be seen as something infinitely more awful:

"terrible divinity clung to his skin"

"It was the first time that he had seemed at all mortal. Humanity touched him briefly, like a passing shadow"

"He was no longer human. He was immortal again"

"He was always somehow more alive than everyone else around him, and yet dislocated from what you considered living. A man-shaped eclipse."

"The Emperor of the Nine Houses - the Resurrection - the First Reborn - sat at the end of the table, his plain face splattered with gore, and his eyes were the death of light."

There's one moment in particular where Harrow perceives him as something vastly beyond human:

his great immortal age - of an enormous distance between you, of an ignition too bright for you to conceive. You were an insect standing before a forest fire. You were a cell holding a heart.

(Though of course Harrow herself is far from metaphysically straightforward - in the River, Gideon says "You were a sigil: you were an intermingled fire...you were a hunger without a stomach...")

When John describes Resurrection Beasts to Harrow - although we do not yet know that this is a confession of murder and of a sort of cannibalism by a part man, part planet - he is "lit from beneath by electric lighting, the gleam in his eyes black and wet. You caught him moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue."

Even when he's not obviously being an eldritch thing, his very normal crown of foetal bones moves on its own, and the white rings in his eyes are described as flickering. Even blithely sitting in a Cohort Admiralty meeting munching peanuts, John is in constant, unsettling motion.

As if that doesn't already sound unpleasant enough, it seems rather like there is something physically discomforting about making eye contact with John. Looking on those white rings is likened to "dying" and "a migraine", and described as "scalding".

It still hurt you a little, to look into his terrible eyes... You had never become used to it.

Making eye contact with John doesn't just cause physical pain. It also seems to open you up to some degree of suggestion or compulsion. Here's Gideon's description of making eye contact with John:

God looked at me...and held my gaze. It was this that pinned us in place. When those white rings hovered on someone else, the blood rushed back to your brain; when they flickered back to me, I went white and blank again, mute and stupid, a floating outline... Those white-ringed eyes closed, and your heart almost relaxed in your chest.

Which seems to place two incidents that otherwise might be explained as Harrow's difficulty refusing the man she has been raised to worship as god in a different light:

It still hurt you in an undefinable way, to see him lowered so: as though he offered a compliance test where you ought to flatten yourself in front of him as low as you could go. The white ring around his pupil was so white.

He looked at you as though he were glad to see you... some nameless softening in his face and those white-tinged, primordial eyes. He reached out for your hands. You could not refuse him, and in any case had no choice of doing so; your body reacted long before your mind did, and the meat of your meat and the flesh of your flesh belonged to God

I don't think we're nearly frightened enough of John... Or of the prospect of John and Alecto - the man who became god and the god who became man - reunited (even if at odds) in ATN...

[evilminji]

Actually? You know what would be darkly hilarious?

If, when the GIW can't get ghosts declared both malicious AND non-sapient/sentient? They push for "dumb animals" instead.

Which is accepted. Ghosts are animals. Checks out, says scientists everywhere.

HOW "dumb"?

What? Says the GIW, mid-victory high fives. They did not expect a follow up question. They SHOULD have, as this is the SCIENTIFIC community and that is literally their job, but here we are.

How. "Dumb"? The scientists repeate slower. What methodology did you use? What is your sample size? Are their different sub-species? Is this dimension like ours? Is Ghost the equivalent to Mammal? It says here their are humanoid ones.

What IQ are we talking about here and HOW DID YOU TEST??

A goldfish, parrot, and dolphin are all animals. WILDLY different levels of intelligence. You can't treat them the same. Technically speaking, WE are animals.

The GIW does not like where this conversation is going. Tries to shut it down.

.......well NOW the scientists are both offended AND invested. How DARE you try to push faulty science and hide the Truth from them! They're gonna do their OWN studies! *picks up the phone and dials that one embarrassing spiritualist friend they had in college* Hey! You still think you can summon ghosts? I'll pay you to try it for Science!

And like? As a Ghost? It's degrading as hell. But ALSO these fuckos just Whoopsie'd you into having both protections under the law, since animal abuse IS illegal, AND just put the ENTIRE planets scientific community on their asses.... by accident.

So you take a deeeeeeep breath you don't even need. Remember you're doing this for the little ghost babies and fluffy ghost animals. And show up at a research facility like "yes, hello, I am Ghost. Here for you to poke and prod at. Please ask me to name the object on the flash card or whatever IQ tests do these days."

Should you HAVE to prove your own fucking sentience? No. But? You do it. You're even polite about it. Ask for a copy of the study they plan to publish so you can BEAT some mother fuckers with it. The scientists nod in understanding and use the BIG font for your copy so it'll hurt more.

They've been there.

And just? Shitty people getting what they wanted only to have it blow up in their faces?? I see all these angst "but what if they were declared ANIMALS" prompts and I just?? Are we talking PARROT or goldfish!? One has the average intelligence of about a human 4yr old and the other is a FISH! People get RIGHTFULLY furious when you treat INTELLIGENT animals badly.

And would, in fact, adapt pretty easy to discovering one of said animal has become HUMAN lvl intelligent. It's easy to grasp the idea of human intelligence lvl dolphin or monkeys. Maybe there was some mutated strain, maybe in uetro tampering. Who knows. But if I tried to sell you a human intelligent housefly? Gold fish? Lizard?

You wouldn't believe me. There is some kind of trick at play.

So if GHOSTS are seen as animals? Everyone nods and then later? Someone comes in TV and very excitedly informs you "we found INTELLIGENT LIFE amongst the ghosts!" You'd believe it. Probably be really excited by your conversation starter for the day. Get a taco and move on with your life.

But? Having to willing sit for a barrage of testing? Is going to suuuuuuck so bad. Poor Danny. SATs all over again. For HOURS. At multiple facilities, just to be CERTAIN it's not a one off. All because he not certain he can insure good behavior from other ghosts and This Is IMPORTANT. He ALSO can't be certain it's even SAFE.

Might be a trap.

But if he has to do it again and again and again? Mexico to Bavaria to China to the Maldives? If this is what it takes for the scientific community to bitchslap the GIW into ORBIT before the UN? Hand him that pencil.

He has no where more important to be.

@hdgnj @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation @ailithnight @the-witchhunter

[planetsandstarsandstuff]

Synastry & Composite Chart Notes/Observations ll:

(please do not copy or repost on other platforms)

Moon in the 10H synastry: I find Moon often feels a sense of pride in the 10H person, even if they don't know them personally. They can become very emotionally invested in this person's success and are often highly defensive of them, particularly from public scrutiny. (sidenote: if you have your Moon in or ruling your 10th house, you may find people feel this way about you regardless of where their Moon sits in your chart.)

Composite 3H Uranus/Uranus-Mercury: These placements can often speak to sporadic communication - going long stretches without speaking, conversations lacking rhythm, communication over text feeling incohesive, etc.

Venus in the 2H synastry: Venus loves giving compliments to the 2H person; making 2H feel good about themselves makes Venus feel good in return.

Moon in 1H/Moon-asc synastry: Moon is often very attached to the way the asc person looks and can be sensitive to changes in their appearance - this synastry reminds me of when a baby starts crying after their dad shaves his beard or gets a new haircut LOL

Composite Libra Mars: Conflict tends to feel particularly uncomfortable here.

Planets in the Composite 12H can point to themes the two are shy about expressing with one another:

Venus - love, affection

Sun - personality, authenticity

Moon - emotions, vulnerability, earnestness

Mercury - communication, unfiltered thoughts

We might be able to see how others feel about our relationship with someone by looking at how their planets interact with the composite chart. Their Venus can tell us what they like or possibly envy about the relationship, their Mars can tell us what might anger them about it, Pluto may be able to show where they feel jealous or try to assert their power, Mercury can show where they're most curious about the relationship or what aspect of it they may discuss with others, etc.

Both Jupiter and Neptune can often grant a lot of forgiveness in synastry, but in slightly different ways:

With Neptune, there tends to be a presumption of innocence about the other person - it's easy to forgive them because we have a difficult time believing they could ever intentionally cause harm. There's often a lot of tolerance here.

With Jupiter, we're more likely to recognize this person's flaws than we are with Neptune - we don't view them through the same rose-colored glasses. However, we still tend to be very forgiving of them because we have faith in their overall character and ability to grow. There's often a lot of good will granted here.

Saturn-Moon synastry: As the Saturn person, we often feel responsible for the Moon person's emotional well being - there's a strong sense of obligation here. I find that even if we don't particularly like this person, we can't help but feel somewhat protective over them.

That's all, thanks for reading!