#i know theres. a few people out there that have been waiting to have me draw their faves for a long time .. thanks for being patient
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arcanegifs · 7 months ago
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cedobols · 1 year ago
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hiiiii bom :3 i was wondering if you do commissions ? out of curiosity totally okay if not!!! have a good day !!!!!! <333
hii nonniebubs💓💓💓 i do do commissions but they’re not open at the moment im sorry ;;;; here’s my sheet + ko-fi for more info for future reference
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im going on a trip soon . i might open them up when i come back!! thank you so much for the interest it means a lot 🌷🐛 have a lovely day
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dandyshucks · 7 months ago
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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭
I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO
#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl#i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads#but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl#it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits#and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot#but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road#i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit#and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl#and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper#its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town#and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times#MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL#im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord#IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING#i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think#so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone#but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us#so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl#AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM#driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl#after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad#but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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heyitslapis · 11 months ago
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I don't have time for people who don't have time for me
I don't have time for people who don't have time for me
I don't have time for people who don't have time for me
#yes yes i know adult life leaves little room for spending time with people who you care about & even if we have time we're burnt out#but my whole adult life has been white-knuckled clinging to relationships or people that barely if ever send that energy back#as soon as theyre onto the next person that will entertain them. as soon as theyve found something to fill the time that i usually take up#as soon as theyve gotten all they wanted from me emotionally. as soon as its inconvient to see me. almost as soon as theyre bored#then suddenly its me waiting for a text. waiting for a day to hang out. hearing over and over again that yet another thing is more importan#than me. and i get it. life happens. schools important. work is important. rest is important. but at the point im at in my life#im looking for people who actually make an effort not just give months and months of excuses as to why they suddenly cant hang out#im a pushover. im easy-going. im a very understanding person. i get it bc theres also very few days per week that im free to socialize#but i cant keep letting myself act subservient to everyone else in my life. i always put my friends & potential friends so high on pedestal#i treat them & their time as precious. now i refuse to let someone do anything but the same for me. my time/energy/love is just as precious#i dont deserve only a text when you need something from me or just to act as a treat to tide me over until the next transgression#and i certainly am NOT going to be the person that you can stand-up and then expect to still answer your text. not anymore.#in prioritizing my mental health lately ive realized that this pattern HAS TO STOP. i cant allow myself to continue the same harmful cycles#i deserve better. i need better. i WANT BETTER#emma vents#vent tag#healing tag
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thisisnotjuli · 1 year ago
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sometimes you read a post and you think to yourself holy fucking shit do usamericans really live like this????????? honestly the insane behaviours I learn from posts saying stuff like "this [thing] [that the post talks about like it's normalized/common] is fucked up" is absolutely nuts
#i am obviously not going to mention this in the original post in any way. but this is because#i just read that post about how 'peoples reaction to seeing a person walking with a white cane is either fearful or agressive'#and obviously i am noone to say anything about the topic. seeing as i dont use nor am close to anyone who uses a white cane.#but. i have seen plenty of people using white canes out in the streets in my life. and a few i see/saw quite frequently#like both of us walking on the same street regularly for a while#which of course doesnt make me anyone with enough information to have an opinion about that post i read#but never in ky fucking life have i seen *anyone* react the way that post described to someone walking with a white cane#and i seriously think its just because usa is so fucked up and usamericans have so many hang ups about people with disabilities#the whole 'but are you REALLY disabled or are you just faking it' bullshit theyre obsessed with#but seriously. people here see someone walking down the street with a white cane and they just. move out of the way#theyre not 'eithr scared or agressive'#ive seen people who're in a hurry get impatient‚ hell im pretty sure ive been that person once. but they just fucking wait#or find a way to walk around them. or something.#ive seen kids get curious about it qnd i remember when I was a kid and cueious the first time i saw someone w a white cane#walking to school and i asked my dad about it. i also remember being a kid and not getting out of the way fast enough and#lightly bumping into a person w a white cane#anyways my point is. im not saying theres no people who're shitty about it here i al sure there are#and i know for a fact that blind people do suffer from discrimination here and ut fucking sucks#but. nothing at all like that post describes. im pretty sure thats just. usamerican bs. or not bs but. sucking really bad. or smth#mine#me#personal
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intertexts-moving · 1 year ago
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having insane person mental health realizations at 5pm on a friday like years after redacted.
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be-good-to-bugs · 8 months ago
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maybe i WILL get to move back home
#the bin#i talked to my mom and things might go ok but idk#i just have to wait and see but i desperately hope i can move. i need to see a doctor so bad. my whole body feels horrible all the time#and my tooth has gotten so much worse. i can deal with it if thres an end date. i cant deal with it indefinitely. and i cant afford to get#it fixed without insurance. i would rather die than deal with this shit for another however long i have to i CAN NOT do that#esp bc i would need to go to work while experiencing it. idk. im shaky literally ALL the time and my insides alwyas hurt and my joints#hurt so much too. and half the time im at work my chest hurts and i cant see straight. i cant fuckin do this anymorew.#apparently my dad might be getting a new job so their landlord might be more willing to renew but idk. she said she should know on april 1st#which isnt that far away but idk. i mean. its not impossible theyll renew. who knows. i hope so.#i know at keast thst i have a way to get there if there is a place for me to live so thats good. my health cant take this anymore. and im#also not able to emotionally. idk what other option i have but. god. its hard enough as is. im having like a perpetual panic attack since i#found out i probs wont get to move. im tryna be optimistic. i dont think im physically capable of staying here any longer#it was hard enough to stay herenthis extra yearm ive been having breakdowns repeatedly over it. and my physical health keeps worsening#i miss my little sister. i wanna be able to see the people i care about. theres so few people in the world i enjoy being around and i dont#get to see them ever. instead i have to see my second least favorite person in the world in order to even just get groceries#hhhh. i want the time to pass so i can know for sure but i also desperately dont wnat it to cause im so scared itll be bad news#whatever. i will hope and believe that itll work out until i know that it wont. hhhhh. worst case scenario i guess ill just have to save up#and figure out moving there later on but like. i was really happy to NOT have to worry abt rent or working so i could focus on my health and#then i could go back that that stuff. oh well
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reidmania · 4 months ago
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inbetween | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series master list
summary ; after months over talking over email, you and spencer finally meet in person.
warnings ; reader & spencer fall in love over emails, meeting in person, insecure reader, insecure spencer, worries about not being enough, pretty much just pure fluff tbh.
an ; in between yall. this song. this is the first oneshot in the good riddance x spencer reid one shot series!! while i waiting for the poll to finish!!
part one, part two, part three
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‘I just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring. For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two. two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new. ‘i wish that you could see 'em, their faces lighten up their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care but he knows her name, she knows he'll always be there’
<>
The email rang up at exactly 5:30, exactly when you expected it to. You were sitting at your desk at work, knees pulled to ur chest as you spun on the desk chair. Your coworkers paid no mind to your antics, after working in the safe office for years, with each other. They were used to it by now.
You chewed at your lip as you refreshed your email when the clock changed to exactly 5:30, a wide smile dawned your face when you read the email, you heart ached with longing as your eyes traced over the words on the screen, your stomach tightening and your heart clenching.
Sent from [email protected] at 5:30pm
Hi.
I don’t know when this will send because I’m writing it while on the jet, probably as we get lower and more towards landing, I’ll spare you the scientific details. We only got back from a case this morning, early. Which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Im sorry.
We got a case in Maryland, which I remember you telling me, is where you live. I know I should probably just ask for your phone number but I kind of enjoy the emailing thing. It’s a lot less nerve racking because I can try to pass it off as professional, even though a lot of the time our conversations aren’t.
I actually don’t think we have ever had a professional conversation. Which is a good thing. I really enjoy our conversations no matter what we are talking about. I really enjoy talking to you.
I hope this isn’t too forward but I wanted to know if theres any chance I could see you while I’m in Maryland for this case. I don’t know when it would be or how long I’d be able to see you for, but I do really want to see you. If thats okay with you.
I guess I should give you my number, so you know I’m not some creepy old man. That would be ironic since I work at the FBI and my job is to stop people like that… I don’t know.
Heres my number, 023387677
Love, Spencer.
Your stomach tightened at the idea of seeing him in person. You never admitted it, but you knew he wasn’t an old man, you knew exactly who he was. You made the decision to google his name 6 months ago, when the two of you first started emailing back and forth after he accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person and you replied. It started as just telling him he had sent it to the wrong person, then he thanked you and apologised and made a joke and then the conversation just flowed.
You had been having conversations with Spencer Reid for six months and you felt like you knew more about him than you did yourself. He told you about his day, and about things he had been through, He opened up to you about his addiction and his mom and you opened up to him about your own trauma and issues.
Spencer Reid was your best friend and you had never met him. You had never even heard his voice. You only had seen his face on google when you searched up ‘Spencer reid FBI’ and a photo came up, he looked younger than you assumed in it, seeing the photo was from a few years ago. You felt slightly bad since you knew he could google you and probably come up empty handed — you had the upper hand.
You look at the clock as it inches closer to six o-clock when you finish work. A boring office job, you often complained to Spencer about. It was ironic since his job literally traumatised him, and yet you complained about the boring desk job, although he never ever compared, he would listen and comfort you after a bad day no matter what, just like you did for him.
You don’t reply to the email he sent as you typed the number he sent into your phone, saving the contact under ‘spence’ The nickname that had developed only weeks into the two of you talking. You send him a text, letting him know it was you, saying hi.
“Phone.” You hear your boss, warning you about using your phone at work, you lift your head an apologetic smile on your face as you close your phone, placing it face down on your desk as you close your email and return to your work after muttering out a sheepish, ‘Sorry!’
Spencer is sitting in a conference room of the police station in Maryland. He didn’t know it but he was only two blocks away from the office you worked. He never usually cared to check his phone while working — nothing could be as important as the case.
Until you, until now.
He found himself hanging out to feel the buzz in his pocket, he found himself checking his phone just in case maybe he missed the message. Just in case you did message.
He also checked his email a lot.
“Whats up with boy wonder?” Derek asked as he spun a chair to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair as he looked around at the other team members. Spencer focus on anything other than the case.
“He gave mystery girl his number” Emily said, patting Spencers shoulder softly to get his attention as she walked past him, placing a coffee down in front of him. Spencer noticed how it was his normal order — despite the fact lately he had been getting your order, after he found out what it was. It made him feel a little bit closer to you.
“Oo, Okay lover boy.” Derek hummed approvingly, raising his eyebrow slightly as he looked down at the boy. Spencer sighed as he let back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table as he checked to get no message. “Nothing yet?” Emily asked, knowing Spencer had been stressing since he sent the email on the jet, nearly two hours ago.
He didn’t know it hadn’t even delivered until a few minutes ago.
“Shes probably just busy” Spencer muttered as he checked his watch for the time. 5:33pm, you’d be at work.
Derek shared a look with Emily, both with teasing smiles on their faces. They had watched Spencer obsess over the girl for the past 6 months, even after he tried to hide it for the first few. He did a horrid job, they all noticed him smiling at his computer and typing away more often than ever, they noticed his focus slight adverted. It took a bit but they eventually got it out of him when you didn’t email him back for a week and he was going insane with worry that maybe you were ghosting him, or that you were hurt.
He confided in his team, you emailed him a few days later saying your wifi went down and none of your emails were going through. He was instantly relieved.
His phone buzzed on the table, 5:35pm. His hand instantly reached out for his phone. His eyes widened and his lip twitched upwards as he read the message that lit his screen.
“And lover boy is in” Derek whispered to Emily, loud enough that Spencer could hear that only ended up in Spencer sending him a glare, before typing out a reply and sending it, asking to call you tonight when he got finished.
“Alright, We got a lead” Hotch said entering the room.
You leant against the back of your head board, your hair wet and dripping down the back of your neck as you waited nervously for call to ring through your phone. You were almost terrified of what the conversation might hold. You were glad you were calling before you agreed or disagreed to meeting him, you could feel out whether or not it might be awkward or not.
You almost jumped out of your skin as your phone started ringing, anxiety pooled in your stomach as your skin flushed hot, causing the drops of water on the back of your neck feel as if it was burning the skin. You reached out for your phone that rested on your bed side table, answering the call.
“Hi.” You muttered out a breath of air. You couldn’t even help but smile as the realisation dawned on you. You were talking to Spencer. Finally, actually talking to him.
You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone before some shuffling. “Hold on” He mumbled out, you stomach fluttered at his voice as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you bit back a smile.
“Okay.” You said, you heard some more shuffling before the sound of a door closing, then a creek. And then a breath.
“Hi” He settled on, you sat up a bit, crossing your legs as his word came out almost breathy and nervous. It made your chest thump against your ribcage so much it ached. “Sorry— I should’ve waited till I was in my hotel room to call, I was excited— Sorry” He said.
You could hear the nerves in his voice and all it did was make your cheeks beat a rosy hue. “It’s okay. I was nervous” You admit softly, you try to hide the slight embarrassment in your voice but it fails you as your words come out small.
You hear him chuckle. You think the sound genuinely makes your mind fall empty of any coherent thoughts. “You don’t have to be nervous” He spoke so softly as if his words were an exhale he had been holding in.
“But I am” You muttered.
“Me too.” He said honestly. You found comfort in the fact he cared enough about this interaction to be nervous about it. You went to run your hand through your hair but paused with you felt the coldness — it was still very wet from your shower.
“Good” You sighed out, voice almost a whisper. You didn’t know why you were speaking so quietly, there was no one else in your house. There was no reason to be as quiet as you were.
“Is good that I’m nervous?” Spencer asked, you could hear the teasing in his voice. It made your head spin and the words get caught as you shook your head, before remembering he couldn’t see you.
“Yes- No- no. No.” You muttered out, “Its uh- Its not good that your nervous— I- Its just good that you care” You scrambled out, stuttering over your words as you grew flustered. It made you want to turn into your pillow and scream.
You heard him laugh, making your face screw up. “Shut up.” You muttered out as it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was laughing at you scrambling over your words, your free hand came up to cover your face as your cheeks felt on fire.
“No- Im sorry. Im sorry. Of course I care, you know I care” He said softly as he collected his laughter, his voice dripping honesty for a moment as he spoke genuinely in a way that made your knees feel weak — Thank god you weren’t standing. You were silent for a moment as a smile dawned on your face.
“Tell me about your day.” He requested gently. You heard some more shuffling you could only assume he was getting comfortable in bed. You pictured it and it made your stomach burn with longing. Wishing it wasn’t just an image in your head.
And you did, you told him about your day and he told you about yours; the conversation flowed simply and sweetly from then on. He teased you whenever you stuttered over your words, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.
You and him spoke until your voice was quiet and drowsy with sleep, until your eyes were fluttering shut and you went unresponsive for a moment before he asked if you were asleep and you would wake up to the sound of his voice, muttering out a no, to which he would chuckle, and tell you to go to sleep.
When you fell asleep, he waited ten minutes to make sure you were really asleep before hanging up. His heart full as he fell asleep smiling.
Sorry I fell asleep. If i didn’t throw you off completely and you still want to see me, im free any day after 6, when i finish work.
Spencer smiled at the message. The acceptance. You were accepting meeting him, seeing him. He couldn’t fathom the idea of anything you doing ever throwing him off. You had wiggled your way into his chest months ago, and you stayed consuming every part of him everyday since. He didn’t see that changing any day soon, or ever.
He sent you an address to a bar Derek suggested the team going to after work. He didn’t know if maybe it was too forward, or might be awkward with his team there, but at least if it didn’t go well there was people around.
He closed his phone as he waited for your reply, his mind replaying the conversation he had with you last night, how sweet you sounded, how your laugh made his heart clench, how whenever you said his name or spoke a little louder he felt light headed, unable to focus on anything but you.
There was anxiety in his stomach when he realised the two of you never quite talked about what it all meant. What the months of conversation back and forth was. He realised he didn’t know what you wanted. What you expected.
Maybe you just saw him as a friend, maybe to you the conversation is nothing more than friendly. Honestly, if that was the case Spencer didn’t think he would be able to deny you of that. He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if it caused a slight ache in his chest. He had told you things he couldn’t imagine telling anyone else, he trusted you in a way he didn’t know possible, and it may be stupid, maybe naive, but Spencer didn’t care.
The way he felt for you took over any ounce of doubt in his mind, it overtook the insecurity welling in his mind, that maybe you wouldn’t like him, not the way he liked you.
He had never felt so much for a person. He had never felt so much point blank. He could hardly fathom you feeling for him near the amount he felt for you.
Your hands traveled over your jeans softly as your palms grew sweaty as you stepped inside the bar. Thanking the guy you held it open for you as he walked out. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people, the music playing and the people chatting. You probably should have gotten changed first instead of coming straight after work but you were too nervous and didn’t want to give yourself time to dwindle in your insecurities then chicken out.
You manoeuvred your way through the people, quiet apologies leaving your lips as you looked around for Spencer, or anyone who looks like they might be an FBI agent.
What does an FBI agent look like? you thought, as you let out a sigh, finally getting out of the crowd of people as you got to the back of the bar, a lot more free of space. A few people around, standing at tables. You skimmed over for a moment as you tried to catch any glimpse of the boy that you could.
You heard your name, making you spin on your heels. You saw a dark haired girl smiling at you. Well that isn’t spencer.
“Yes?” You said, smiling at her as you tried to hide the anxiety building in your veins. Your hand coming to push hair off your face softly as you try to focus on the girl in front of you. She grins widely, “Spencer is over there, you looked like you were looking for someone…” She said, my smile instantly widened as you looked over to where she nudged her head.
your breath got caught in your throat as your eyes settled on him, the photo didn’t do him justice in any way. His hair was messy and slightly grown out, he was engrossed in a conversation with who you could only assume was Derek Morgan, who Spencer had told you about. His tie was crooked in his suit as he lifted his arm to sip the drink in his hand.
you tear my eyes away as you look at the lady who is smiling at you. “Happy with that?” She asks. It takes you a moment to recognise her as Emily, whom Spencer had also told you about. You can hardly put it into words how your chest feels like its gonna explode as your heart thumps.
“He is gorgeous.” You breathe out, shaking your head as words fail you, your eyes trail back to him for a moment to see him laughing, you see his head turn towards the door, as if he is waiting for you to walk through them.
Emily smiles, patting your shoulder softly, “Cmon Mystery girl” She said, you pay little attention to the nickname as she encourages you to walk towards the table with her. Your legs feel like Jelly with every step that you take, your stomach twisting in the familiar feeling of anxiety.
When she pauses at the table your breath hitches. “Oi Reid” She mutters, both he and Derek turns their head towards her, “Look who I found” She says softly, hand brushing over your shoulder.
Spencers eyes skip over to yours and you watch an emotion pull his features. An emotion you can’t quite place and it makes your stomach ache at the uncertainty, insecurity creeping up the back of your neck.
“Hi” You breathe out as you look at him. Theres a moment of silence before he is pushing away from the table and walking around to you. His arms around you the moment you are in reach and it makes your muscles tense slightly before relaxing completely in his hold as you wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him back.
Emily and Derek watch in amusement for a moment, smiling when they see the look on Spencer’s face. The one you couldn’t place the one they knew all too well.
He was in love.
He was in love before seeing you, he knew that but watching you stand there grinning at him made him all the more sure about it. His hand rested on your waist as he pulled back from the hug to look at your face.
“Hi” He whispered back.
You chewed at your lip at you bit back the wide smile that tried to force its way into your features. His hand traveled up to your face before he could stop it hand cupping your face gently.
You eased, leaning into his touch the warmth of his hand feeling gentle against the soft skin of your cheek. “Y-You- I- Hi.” He stuttered this time.
You grinned, “Cat got your tongue?” You ask, teasing him like he would every-time you stuttered over the phone. He just grins in response.
“No. You’re beautiful” He said, eyes dancing over your face, he looked at you like he was trying to memories every little detail. Your stomach tightens and your knees felt weak as the compliment left his mouth. You had been told that before, but it felt different coming from him. He said it with honesty and sincerity.
“So are you” You said back before hugging him tightly again. He didn’t complain at all, instead his arms fell tightly around your waist as he held you against him, as if he was scared that if he let go you would disappear.
The night went on, you stayed by spencer’s side, his hand on yours or around your shoulder gently as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you being next to him. You never complained — you took it all as a compliment and leant into his touch.
“Are you cold?” Spencer asked as you and him walked outside of the bar, hand in hand. he noticed the way you shivered as the cold hair hit the skin of your bare arms. You turn your head to look up at him, the look in his eye enough to make your chest clench around the fat of your heart.
“A little” You admit. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, but spencer was instantly pulling off his suit jacket for you, slugging it gently over your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street. You paused in your steps as you looked up at him.
“Thank you.” You say.
“Its okay- I don’t want you to be cold” He said softly. You couldn’t help but smile at his kindness, but you shook your head. “For that too— But I meant, for asking to see me. Thank you for thinking of me when you heard about where the case was — for talking to me everyday. Thank you for being my best friend Spence” You said softly as you lean against your car as you and him stop in front of it.
His lip twitches upwards into a smile as his hand drops yours instead resting softly on your lips. “I always think of you.” He admits, eyes on yours.
Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat. “Spencer.” You say softly.
He looks at you, really looks at you. He is seeing you. He is seeing every little thing you have told him over the last six months, every little detail about you there was to know, and all he could think about was he wanted more, he wanted to know you more.
“Yeah?” He says, his voice a whisper.
You feel anxiety pool in your stomach as the question lingers on the tip of your tongue. There was a pull towards him you couldn’t ignore, the same pull you felt when you received his email, six months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. You’d count the hours but you figured that was more his style.
“You can say no, I want you to know that” You said, you wanted to make it perfectly clear that his response to this was completely up to him and you didn’t want to feel pressured. “Can I kiss you?” You ask.
His lips are on yours before you can even finish the question. One hand of his travelling to the small of your back to bring you in closer while the other tangles in your hair, cradling the back of your neck. Your hands instantly cup his face as you press your lips against him. Your lips together saying more than words ever could.
This, right here, him, right now.
It was everything and more.
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atlabeth · 3 months ago
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family line
pt 2
pairing: spencer reid x gideon!reader
a/n: pardon the end where i just go into endless conversation for no reason but i cannot control myself. anyways thank you sosososo much for all the love on the last part and gideon!reader as a whole it makes me so happy!! enjoy some dad-daughter-spence car convos(arguing) and some elle time
wc: 3.8k
warning(s): the usual! r and gideon argue, gideon is not a good dad(but theres some reconciliation), angst, hurt/comfort, but some fluff between r and gideon & spence. more of a set-up chapter
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The drive over to the safe house is a long one, and unfortunately, not a quiet one. 
Spencer takes the back seat, leaving shotgun for you with your dad. He spends the entirety of the drive briefing you on what living in a safe house will entail, all the things you can and can’t do. 
You can’t use your phone because it could be tracked. You can’t leave the place without Spencer because you are, in fact, being stalked. You’re not to reveal anything about your location to anyone—you’re basically shut off from the world until the unsub is behind bars. 
And once he’s done briefing you, he basically starts interrogating you. 
“Have you been contacted like this before in any way?” 
You huff a laugh. “What, with creepy pictures of myself? No.” 
“Anything unsettling,” he clarifies. “A text message, a call, an email— anything that rubbed you the wrong way that you might’ve just passed off as a joke or spam.” 
“No,” you repeat. 
“You’re sure?” 
“How many times do I have to say no?” You pull your phone out of your pocket and stare at your dad. “Go through it if you want. You won’t find anything.” 
He pauses, then he nods. “Reid.” 
You shake your head with a slight laugh, then turn it over as Spencer extends a hand. He flips it open and starts to go through it, and you just cross your arms and stare out the windshield. 
“We should really hand this over to Garcia,” he says. “She’ll be able to do a lot more than I can. I don’t really—”
“Like technology, I know,” your dad finished. “We will. Just trying to get all the leads we can upfront.” 
You sigh, but you keep quiet. You guess you can’t really consider it an invasion of privacy when there’s a stalker after you. 
“We typically talk to stalking victims for a while to figure out their lifestyle and possible suspects, as well as the type of stalker we’re dealing with,” Spencer says. “We don’t exactly have the time for that here.” 
“This unsub has already been watching you for a month, maybe more,” your dad says. “He’s made his first move by reaching out to me—that means he wants us to know about him, wants you to know about him.” He glances over at you. “He wants to scare you. You’re not going to give him that satisfaction.” 
“You’re jetting me off to a safehouse before you’ve even gotten the chance to look into any leads,” you say. “It looks like we’re pretty scared, Dad.” 
“It’s preparation,” he says. “The unsub has made his first move—I’m not going to wait around for him to make another and compromise your safety.” 
“This could also be a lot more dangerous than we think,” Spencer says. You still hear him clicking through your messages, and you’re beginning to regret your decision to turn it over to him. “Our unsub could be someone after Gideon using you as collateral.” 
Your heart stops for a split second and your attention snaps to your father. “What?”
“…It is a likely option,” he says. “Very few people know you as my daughter. Someone who wants to hurt me could try to use you to do it.”
“So I was right,” you say. “This is only happening because I’m your daughter.”
“Do you want me to say yes?”
“Yes!” you exclaim. “Yes— I want you to admit that I’ve missed out on all the positives of you being my dad and gotten stuck with all the negatives!”
“This is not the time,” he says. 
“How is it not the time?” you ask with a laugh. “You’ve said it yourself several times— my life is in danger. There’s someone out there that might kill me to get back at you. What is a better time than this to talk about how shitty of a dad you’ve been?”
“A better time would be when we aren’t this high strung,” he says evenly. “Neither of us are thinking as properly as we should be. We don’t want to say anything we’ll regret.”
“Oh, I don’t think I’ll regret any of this,” you say. “After all, I could be dead soon, right? I should get all those regrets out of the way.”
“Please stop arguing,” Spencer interrupts hastily. “This— this is very uncomfortable.”
You scoff. The flames burn just as bright, but for some reason, you decide to hold them back a bit. 
“I’m sure it’s real hard for you, boy genius.”
The silence lingers. You can tell he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. Your dad, to his credit, doesn’t stoke the fire.
It looks like you’re all capable of restraint today. 
“I— I went through all her messages,” Spencer continues. It irks you that he talks like you’re not here. “There’s nothing suspicious there, at least.”
“Good,” your dad says. “I’ll hand it over to Garcia after I drop you both off.”
“We’re not gonna have a car?” you ask.
“You’ll have this one,” he says. “That’s why Agent Greenaway is following us.”
“Elle’s coming?” Spencer asks, and you see him perk up. You belatedly wonder what that deal is. 
“Just so she can drive me back to the office,” your dad says. “She offered.”
“What’s everyone else doing?” 
“Garcia is digging through some of your personal records for the team,” he says, glancing at you. “JJ is in contact with the local police stations so they’re ready once we have a profile. Morgan and Hotch should be looking through every case I’ve closed to get a running list of suspects.”
“Great,” you say as you lean back in your seat. “Nothing like getting my whole life aired out and put under a microscope.”
“It already is,” Spencer says. “You’ve got a stalker.”
“Thanks, Spencer,” you mutter. “I forgot.” 
-
The rest of the drive goes by with ease—at least, relative to how difficult you’ve made everything else. 
You’re already sick of Spencer Reid by the time you get out of the car. You don’t know how you’re going to survive such close quarters under these kinds of circumstances. 
Another car parks next to you as the three of you get out, and your eyes are drawn to the woman that steps out. 
“Easy drive?” your dad asks. 
“I was right behind you,” Agent Greenaway says. “You drive like an old man.” 
Your dad just barely smiles. “Stay with her, Elle. Reid and I are going to check the perimeter.” 
“You can’t be serious,” you cut in. 
“I already told you I’m not taking chances with this,” he says, and he takes his gun out. “This won’t take long.” 
Spencer takes his out as well—he carries it with both hands, like it’s actually weighing him down, and it’s a bit ridiculous—and they split to cover both sides of the house and the surrounding area. You sigh and shake your head as you cross your arms. 
“He’s certainly spirited,” Agent Greenaway says. 
You huff a laugh. “That’s one way to put it.” 
“I’m Elle, by the way,” she says. “I know we haven’t been formally introduced.” 
You nod your acknowledgment and say your name. “Nice to meet you.” 
She turns to fully face you. “Do you mind if I say a few things?” 
“If it’s about my dad—”
“It’s not,” she interrupts with a wry smile, “I promise.” 
You shrug. “Then sure.” 
“First, I just want to ask if you’re doing alright,” she says. “You’ve gotten a lot dropped on you all at once.”
“I’m as good as I can be,” you say. 
Elle nods, and her eyes soften. “I’m not gonna tell you to take it easy on Gideon. He’s an incredible agent, but that makes it hard to be a good dad.”
You don’t say anything, and she continues. 
“My dad was on the force too. I resented him for a lot of my childhood because he was gone so often, but… then he was killed in the line of duty.”
You frown. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Elle nods in thanks. “I’m not trying to get sympathy. I’m just saying I know what it’s like.”
You shift your balance and sigh, glancing away momentarily. “Everyone here sees him as a hero, and— and he is. He started this whole thing and you all save lives every day, but it feels like he’s missed my entire life because of it.” You huff a bitter laugh. “I think you all know him better than I do.”
“I think you’re probably right,” she admits. “You deserve to be angry. And honestly, I think you deserve to hate him some for it.” 
You huff a slight laugh. “You’re the one person who hasn’t tried to make me feel bad for it.”
She shrugs. “You’re in an awful situation and it might be because of him. You don’t have to have endless grace.”
“Any chance I can get you to stay in here with me instead of Spencer?” you ask.
She smiles. “I don’t think Gideon wants to stick the two of us in a house together. But I am gonna make sure we catch this guy.”
“These kinds of assholes go after vulnerable women because it gives them the attention they crave,” she continues. “They worm themselves into their lives and disrupt it all and it makes them feel powerful—you have to play to their whims.”
“Sounds like you have a lot of experience with this,” you murmur.
“I have a lot of experience putting away sick men,” Elle says. 
“Do you have any advice, then?” you ask weakly. 
“I’ve only been around you for a few hours, but I already know you’re better and stronger than whatever bastard is after you,” she says. “He wants to control your life. Don’t let him.” 
“Thank you,” you say quietly. “I’m… really glad you’re on my side.”
She smiles again. “Just doing my job.”
Your eyes latch onto your dad as he and Spencer come back around the front, and they both tuck their guns back into their holsters. 
“It’s all clear,” your dad says. 
“And I’m not dead,” you say. “Looks like we’re all doing good.”
He chooses to ignore you, instead looking at Elle. “Did you go over anything with her?” he asks.
She shakes her head. “Just gave some advice.”
“Great,” Spencer says. “Just what I need.”
“Oh, get over yourself, Reid,” Elle says. “You’ll be fine.” 
You don’t miss the look he gives her, and your dad clears his throat. “Can you take her inside and check everything? Reid and I need to talk.” 
He frowns. “We do?” 
“Sure,” she nods. 
You stare at your dad this time, and he doesn’t entertain your annoyance with some of his own. “We’ll be in soon.” 
“Sure,” you repeat. 
You follow Elle in—you don’t feel like getting a lecture on safety just yet—and when you pass a glance over your shoulder, you meet Spencer’s eyes. He was watching you. 
His eyes dart away just as quickly, and you huff the slightest laugh. You don’t know if he’s scared of you or just tired of you already, but whichever one, you don’t really care. If you have to be stuck in this house with him, he has to be stuck in there with you too.
Elle shows you around the place, and it’s nothing special—a one story house with two bedrooms and a noticeable lack of windows, furnished plainly with a couch and a few chairs, a small kitchen table, a television. You’re honestly surprised at how nice it all is. 
But as she takes you on the impromptu tour, you can’t stop thinking about her words. You can’t stop thinking about all of it, honestly. 
A month ago, you were driving home in silence after your dad forgot about the plans you made. A week ago, you were out for drinks with friends. 
Today, you’re hunkering down in a safe house because there’s a stalker after you, and you have to do it with your dad’s stand-in kid. 
That’s what gets you, you think. That you know more about Spencer Reid than anyone at his job knows about you—that your dad ignores you in favor of his work, and instead of trying to fit you into his life, he finds an FBI replacement.
Your jaw clenches. It takes a few seconds for you to realize you’ve completely tuned out Elle, only really coming out of it when she says your name.
“Sorry,” you say. “I was distracted.” 
“I don’t blame you,” she says wryly. 
You’re about to respond when Spencer walks in with your dad. His face is slightly flushed and, as opposed to all the other times, he won’t make eye contact with you. You can only imagine what your dad decided to talk to him about. 
“You showed her around?” your dad asks. 
Elle nods. “The basics. She and Reid can figure out the rest.” 
“Thank you,” he says. He looks at Spencer, who has his hands stuffed in his pockets and is very intently focused on the wall behind you. “Help Elle get the rest of the things out of her car.”
He frowns. “Elle doesn’t need my help.”
“Come on, Reid,” she says as she starts to walk. 
He blinks and nods. “Oh. Uh— yeah.” 
You feel his eyes on you as he goes, but you don’t meet them. You just stare at your father.
“Is it my turn for a lecture?”
His eyes soften as he says your name. “This isn’t how I want things to be between us.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug, “it takes a decade or two of neglect to get here.”
“You’re right,” he says. “You wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me. But I’m going to get you out of it.”
“I hope so,” you say. “Because I don’t really know how Doctor Reid is going to help.”
“Don’t take it out on Reid,” your dad says. “Hate me all you want, but leave him out of it.”
“You’re the one that pulled him into it,” you retort. “He’s more your kid than I am.”
“And I regret it,” he says. Your eyes widen a bit, and it actually gets you to shut up. “I regret that it took something like this for me to be a part of your life again. But I don’t want our last interaction before you’re sequestered for the indefinite future to be a fight.”
“That’s all I’m good at when it comes to you,” you mumble. The wind has been taken out of your sails considerably. 
“And I want to change that,” he says. “But first, we have to get through this. And we’re going to get through it together, sweetheart.” 
The term of affection feels strange coming from him. Ever since your teenage years, he’s felt less like your dad and more like some estranged cousin. You hate it. You hate how unfamiliar everything feels with him. Jason Gideon has been a profiler longer than he’s been a dad and it shows in your every interaction with him. 
But still, your heart aches. You bite the inside of your cheek.
“You promise?” you ask. You feel like a kid again. 
“I promise,” he says. 
Then your dad pulls you into a hug, and for a moment, you freeze. You can’t remember the last time he hugged you. 
Despite the anger inside of you, the bitterness built in your bones, you can’t help it—you hug him back. You practically melt into his arms as you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to stop the sudden threat of tears. 
Because deep down beneath it all, you’re scared. You’re fucking terrified, actually, and right now you’re just a girl who wants comfort from her dad. 
“I love you,” he says. 
“…I love you too,” you mumble.
Neither of you pull away for a good thirty seconds. When you do, you turn around to wipe your eyes, not wanting him to see. You hear the door open and start, but it’s just Spencer and Elle with some bags and boxes. 
“Elle’s got some groceries,” your dad says, clearing his throat. “We’ll deliver more if necessary, but you’ve got the basics for a couple weeks, at least.” 
“And a whole lot of books and movies,” Spencer says, hefting the box in his hands. “Did you know that there have been approximately 122 million unique titles published since the invention of Gutenberg’s printing press in 1440?” 
“That’s less specific than usual,” Elle says. “You sure you’re feeling okay?” 
He frowns. “I couldn’t find statistics on the exact number.” 
“Why were you even looking at those statistics?” 
“I get bored sometimes.” 
Elle just laughs as they continue into the living room. You feel your dad’s eyes on you, and you sigh. 
“I’ll take it easy on him,” you say. “Mostly. Maybe.” 
And he actually smiles. “Thank you.” 
“Yeah, yeah,” you say offhandedly, but you find the slightest smile creeping on your lips as well. You kind of hate it. 
Everything else goes by relatively quickly now that you’re not arguing every single thing—you have to fight your instincts not to, but you manage—and eventually, after another lingering hug and some promises to be safe (and one from Spencer to your dad to keep you safe)—you’re alone in the house with him. 
“So,” you say as you settle on the couch, “this is what the indefinite future is going to be like.” 
“If it makes you feel better, last time we dealt with a stalker we caught them in a few days,” Spencer says. “She watched her for a good while, though.” 
“It doesn’t make me feel better,” you say. “Thanks.” 
“...Sorry.” 
You shrug your indifference and Spencer walks past you, focusing in on some of the paintings hanging on the wall. You’re sure he knows the artist, title, and meaning behind every single one, so you speak up before he can start.  
“What did you and Elle talk about?” 
“How this place doesn’t have a pool,” he says.  
You frown. “What?” 
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “What’d you and Gideon talk about?”
“We fought then made up,” you say. “It was… weird.” 
Spencer looks at you. “How?” 
You shrug again as you cross your arms. “You’ve seen how we are. We don’t exactly get along.” 
“Has he really been that bad of a dad?”
“It’s none of your business,” you say. “But… yes. He’s barely been a dad at all.” 
Spencer shakes his head. “I don’t get that. He’s so different in the field.” 
“That’s why he’s barely been a dad��because he’s so busy here.” You tilt your head. “Don’t you have some facts or whatever on the percentage of fathers that are workaholics?” 
“Well, 89% of dads work full time,” Spencer says. “And fathers typically work around 47 hours a week. But I don’t have anything on workaholics specifically.” 
“Great.” You stand up and walk over to the box of DVDs Spencer set down on the table, and you start rifling through them. “So, what’d my dad tell you about me?” 
Spencer blinks. “What do you mean?” 
“When I came in here with Elle and he kept you out there,” you say. “Did he give you the run-down? Warn you on how difficult I am to be around? Tell you that I hate you?” 
His Adam’s apple bobs. “Uh— no. He just… talked to me. Gave the rundown on everything.”
You hum. “You can tell the truth.” 
“I— I am,” he says. He’s clearly not. “He didn’t say anything bad about you. Promise.” 
“Whatever you say.” You land on a DVD and glance over at him. “How do you feel about Groundhog Day?” 
He shakes his head. “I don’t like Bill Murray.” 
You frown. “That’s ridiculous. How can you not like Ghostbusters?” 
“I love Ghostbusters.” 
“How can you like Ghostbusters but not Bill Murray?” 
“Because I like the concept more than I like him,” he says. “I love Halloween.” 
You shake your head and move on. “Who put these together?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Gideon? Or maybe some random BAU office worker.” 
“It’s an interesting compilation.” You look up at him again. “How about Dirty Dancing?” 
“No.” 
“No reasoning?”
“I don’t feel like dealing with a musical right now,” he says. 
“So you choose to deprive me of Patrick Swayze,” you tut. You grab one movie out of the back and hold it up. “If I put on Goodfellas, will you interrupt every five seconds with facts?”
“...I can push it back to every thirty seconds,” he says. 
“Five minutes,” you say. 
“One minute.” 
“Two.” 
“One forty-five?” 
“Two—take it or leave it.” 
“Technically I have all the power here,” Spencer says. “I can talk nonstop about anything. Putting down a movie narrows that down.” 
“...One fifty.” 
He nods, and you huff a disbelieving laugh as you put the DVD in the player. 
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re ridiculous?” 
“A lot,” he says as he sits down on the couch. “I usually get insufferable or weird or annoying, though. So ridiculous isn’t too bad.” 
“Well, you’re certainly something.” 
“That’s also not too bad,” he says. “I could even take it as a compliment.”
You sigh and pick up the remote before you sit back down. You look up at the clock on the wall and bite back a curse. 
“It’s only been ten minutes,” you mutter. 
“Ten minutes and thirty-four seconds, actually,” Spencer says. “Did you know that Scorsese actually cast real mobsters as extras? The cast members were told ahead of time so they could show the necessary respect to them while they were on set. There’s a whole mafia hierarchy, and only full-blooded Italians—”
“I haven’t even gotten to the start screen,” you interrupt in disbelief. 
Spencer shrugs. “You said every minute and fifty seconds. Not how long I could go on for.” 
You let out another sigh as he continues on. You bet Spencer could probably recite the whole movie from memory if you asked, but you honestly don’t know if you could take that. 
There’s one plus, at least. When you’ve got a human encyclopedia next to you that can spout off whatever information he wants any time he wants, you think you’re gonna have a hard time thinking too much about your stalker. 
You look over at Spencer when you finally make it to the opening scene, still talking but now about the different crime families in the United States. His eyebrows are surprisingly animated when he talks, going up and down depending on his inflection, and you find yourself thinking that it’s charming. 
It’s annoying how pretty he is, and it’s annoying how annoying he is. 
You look away. 
This is going to be a very long lockdown.
739 notes · View notes
artsninspo · 3 months ago
Text
"FLAGS? CRIMSON 🚩" - RIO X READER
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Authors Note: Monday Morning 🍵 , this one is based around the asks, the girls wanted filthy rio, I tried 😘
Summary: You have your concerns and reservations. Rio doesn't give a damn ... usually but then you stand on business, staying away for two weeks. Rio doesn't like that and lets his presence be known.
Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) X Black Reader
Warnings: Spicy🌶️🌶️🌶️, theres possessiveness, stalking?, hair grabbing, mild-spanking & dub-con elements.
Word-Count: 2.5K
Full Masterlist
RIO MASTERLIST
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You and Rio have been in a standoff for the past three weeks. It started with him snatching your phone out of your hand as you attempted to take a picture of the two of you. He’d wined and dined you after a busy work week. He had his place turned into a restaurant to hold the intimate date. How often does a girl get Michelin grade food with a side of five star dick? Rio was something new, he chased you mercilessly but there was never that ‘let me show you off’ phase that you’re typically used to. There were no meetings or greetings from friends or family.  You were excited for a relationship that was private but you didn’t sign up to be a secret. You already made it clear to him that you wanted to know if he was sleeping with other people. You’d asked him countless times if he was seeing someone else, secretly married, everything. Each time Rio’s been dismissive, more present and somehow better in bed to prove his point. It was only you. Still your suspicions beat out every single affirmation of his. As good as it’s been physically, the flags are crimson.
Swallowing hard you make your way to the country club for tonight’s benefit. Your phone rings again. Rio’s name flashes and you respond with another customer service-esque response, that delays your meeting citing being busy and exhausted as the reason. At first Rio was giving you time to cool off but now he’s relentless. If you were the only one perhaps his hand just isn't cutting it anymore. Rubbing shoulders isn’t typically your favourite thing to do but socialising is better than sitting at home and forcing yourself not to think of him. you see a few childhood friends among the opportunists and the schmoozes that frequent this kind of social climber opportunity. You dance and drink and enjoy the night out with your peers who are going off the rails. They encourage you to mingle with the eligible men but you know better. Thankfully your father’s wealth has purchased your freedom. There’s no need to pretend to be interested in them or the woman ‘worth’ settling for, to gain the opportunity for a more ‘financially free’ life.
It’s after two in the morning when you’re finally headed home. You tip your cabby and head in the lobby. It's been three weeks since you’ve been taken care of properly and you feel it every time you have to sit in the house alone. You make a mental note to buy a vibrator to take the edge off until you can find Rio’s replacement. The ding of the elevator gets your attention and you head to your apartment unlocking the door. The cold floor feels perfect against your sore feet. You let out a sigh of relief picking up your heels as you lock up behind you. You’re nearly down the hall to your bedroom when you freeze in place. Rio’s seated dressed in all black on your sofa. He stands furious and you take a step back so startled your heart is racing. Maybe it’s the liquor. You squeeze your eyes shut but when you open them he’s more clear.
“How was the party?” He asks.
“What are you doing here?” You ask. 
“My girl has been sick for three weeks dodging me, you’ve been moody and shit so I’m wondering if you're down bad. I come here to be supportive and you don’t answer the door. I worry and get the spare key from management. I come in and you’re nowhere to be found. Now I just know you’ll be back soon but then I’m sitting here waiting and what do I see?” Rio asks before pulling up your social media, all the reposted stories from the girls night are there. You feel caught. His energy is menacing.
“And you didn’t leave and think maybe I don’t want to see you anymore?” You snap and Rio moves quickly grabbing a handful of your hair at the back of your head to pull you in. Your heart races and you feel your body begin to betray your brain, relishing the contact.
“You’re still lying to me?” He challenges. You look up at him in defiance and he smiles loosening his grip on your hair. “I should really leave you high and dry,” he threatens.
“Then let go of me” you respond, challenging him and his grip on your hair releases but he doesn’t step back. You can feel his breath on your face as you look up at him. You stare back at his angry eyes. He’s the only man who’s never cowered at your defiance.
“You think you can quit me just like that?” He asks settling into his usual disposition. Calm, challenging, maddening.
“It'll be pretty easy actually, no pictures, no mutuals, Rio who?” You taunt raising a brow before fearlessly turning your back to him. It strikes a nerve. Sighing to maintain his cool he wonders why he likes strong willed women while admiring  your frame in your selected outfit for the occasion. If it were anyone else he’d be out the door, he wouldn’t put up with it but you have him by the balls and have no idea. He hears the shower running and makes himself comfortable in your bedroom.
“You’re still here?” You respond sarkily fresh out of the shower and better equipped to handle the uninvited guest currently occupying the lounge in your bedroom. Rio’s eyes make note of your tone and that you have nothing under your robe, using it as a more secure towel.
“Mama, I know you’ve got liquor in you but tread lightly. Ya hear?” He warns still in his seat. All you want to do is be his baby. To take care of him, for him to take care of you. To have multiple orgasms to  pass out in his arms throughly fucked and a little sore. To be his road dog on his runs listening to music and eating snacks. To surprise him with blowjobs when he’s stressed from his work and watch as he loses control.
“I’m not drunk” you respond with folded arms.
“C’mere” Rio sighs, relaxing in the lounge chair. Usually it would work but he’s too comfortable. Instead you ignore his request heading into the bathroom to finish up your nighttime routine. You’re looking in the mirror and finishing up your skincare routine with hand lotion when he appears behind you. His expression is serious and you hear metal clanking. Looking down you see he’s unfastened his belt. Your eyes hold his and you watch as his hands slide up your thighs lifting your robe. His lips don’t offer praise or affection; a rarity. Anticipation builds as his hold tightens around your hips. Bringing them back against his growing manhood. He doesn’t need to promise a lesson. His eyes tell you it’s going to be sweet punishment. His hand swipes against your folds to find you’re already ready. He applies pressure before sliding a finger into you. Watching your expression change in the mirror.
“You’re lucky no one else has been in what’s mine” he comments possessively.
“You’re lucky” you contest moaning as he finds his rhythm with his fingers.
“Keep talking shit” he warns but it feels too good to talk back. “What’s that?” He asks finding your spot. Edging you closer and closer to your release.
“Mmmmm” you moan as he changes pace.
“That’s what I thought” he says onto your ear before giving your neck a kiss. You can feel him fully hard pressing into you from behind as he makes you come with his hand. You’re throbbing for more as you pant trying to recover. You want to kiss him but his eyes tell you all is not forgiven yet. He leaves a stinging slap on your ass. Punishment. Your brain chemistry alters making you wetter. It’s sick and twisted what Rio’s capable of bringing out of you. The quickness of the orgasm affirms you haven't stepped out on him, it pisses him off that you've been deliberately depriving him of sex. “When I call, answer the phone, don't send me any more automatic texts, or stupid distant responses.” He says laying down the law. “Dont ignore me” he adds.
“If you want me to behave differently treat me better” you manage standing upright and looking at him in the mirror again. He should walk out now. He should be done with you but he isn’t. You watch his jaw clench. He sees what needs to be done in spite of it being early morning, your defiance energises him. When he smiles your heart catches and it’s the moment he slides in full hilt. Gasping, your eyes close as he fills you completely, fitting snug. The feel of your walls around him nearly makes him lose control but he has a point to prove. When you wake up he wants you to see and feel him all over you. Pulling back before going back in repeatedly you feel your breaths grow shallow. The feeling is second to none.  It’s why Rio’s so different. Your chemistry is always enough foreplay. He leaves you satiated every time. He’s no slouch and your moans affirm the truth. Instead of putting on a show most of the time you’re fighting to hold them back. But Rio knows how much you enjoy when he’s inside you. The slickness of your walls, the responsiveness of your body, how soft and malleable you become. Gripping the counter you brace for his impact as he fucks you into it. His hand protectively palms your stomach to keep you from falling forward into the faucet. His pace and strength is punishing in the best way possible. You come hard again.You want a break but when he pulls out he lowers. Gripping your thighs bringing you closer to claim you with his mouth. He hoists you onto the counter to better his leverage before sucking and driving you crazy.
“Leave me for who” he asks, somehow still dominating you while in a submissive position. He continues like his appetite for you is insatiable and it must be because in  moments you find yourself beyond the point of comprehension. You moan yeses and other sounds of praise. He’s so good you can barely enjoy the sight of him pleasing you. Your head is back for most of it. You come even harder the third time absolutely spent. Rio gets up slower this time he knows you’re worn thin. He knows he has you in the palm of his hands. You look at his manhood standing at attention. His pants aren’t fully off, neither are his boxers. That’s how much he needed you. Your robe is still on too, you albeit not properly. There wasn’t even time to undress. Looking at him you go to return the favour but Rio stops you.
“No, I want to be in my pussy” he tells you, turning you around again.
“Let’s go to bed” you offer.
“Shut up be a boss and take it standing up” he continues goading you. Your legs are tired from standing all night and worn in from your orgasms.
“Rio please?” You whine and he chuckles.
“Now you want to be nice?” he asks.
“Baby please” you add.
“Now I’m baby?” he smiles pecking your cheek, having omitted his usual intimacy.
“Mhm” you nod.
“Words” he challenges.
“Rio!” You snap and he silences you again with re-entry. His hand over your mouth stifles a curse before he lets you taste your arousal on his fingers. His strokes are lighter than before and his rhythm is lethal. He’s a man that listens, he hits just where you need, and you feel the last bit of resistance and tension leave your body like a spool of thread being spun out. Your body is pliable and responsive. You lose your restraint, your moans affirming his talent and everything you feel. Rio’s moans follow, so do curses. Your body buzzes with satisfaction as you feel his pace hitch and the tension of a coming release. You prepare for the loss of contact but it doesn’t come. He thrusts deeper coming inside of you. You’re surprised for a millisecond before the feeling makes you relax. Your body settles completely. You feel goosebumps pepper your flesh as he hums emptying all of his pent up lust into you. You dare to look up into the mirror. His eyes are watching you. The anger is out of his face, his expression is blank and distant. You don’t recognize it as you feel his arousal dripping down your leg. His palm is against your stomach again. You hold it tighter and he comes to. You realise he’s sated and the unfamiliar look is a mix of exhaustion and euphoria. You want to kiss him so bad, he steps back pulling out and robbing you of the contact. His manhood bounces as it falls. You feel sore instantly. It takes him some time to catch his breath. Catching yours, you don’t know how to feel. If he’s still upset or if you’re back on solid ground. Rio answers the question when he turns on the water in your shower and holds out a hand inviting you in. You both get naked and he kisses you hard under the water before washing you up with care. He’s unpredictable and you are relieved he hasn't walked out to make you eat your words. After washing you up he gets dressed, choosing from the clothes he’s left for times like these, and to mark his territory.
“It’s quiet” he comments as you get into your night dress. A smirk plays on his lips. You roll your eyes climbing into the bed incapable of further defiance and too exhausted for a witty retort. Rio follows suit, pulling you in and spooning you. You know sleep won’t be far.
“Nite” he whispers.
“Nite” you respond.
When you awake you’re happy until you see Rio getting dressed. Rolling over you check the time to see it's 8am. Not enough time has passed for a full rest. You don’t have the energy to argue with him. Putting on a T-shirt Rio snickers pleased with the fruit of his labour. Now dressed in a sweatsuit he walks over to your side of the bed leaning in for a kiss. You oblige and he steals a few extra pecks before standing to look at you.
“Get some rest, I have a meeting. I’ll be back with some breakfast around 11:30, then I want you on the road with me” Rio says casually.
“Rio-“ you start, he knows you’re about to protest by your tone.
“I don’t want to hear about that shit anymore. You want to be public, now everyone will know I’m fucking you when you start to show in a few months. You won’t be able to get rid of me for years.” He says shocking you. You sit up scared straight and he smiles.
“Later … mama” he says walking out with a wink.
———-
Authors Note: Rio’s hell right? But we love our bad boy 😉 This one’s for the anons who wanted it nasty. I did my best to keep it Rio. Let me know if I got the vibe you were looking for. Like, comment, reblog.
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luvhughes43 · 5 months ago
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the boy is mine | quinn hughes
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[luvhughes43 masterlist🌙]
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summary: yn meets quinn hughes and is instantly captivated by him, leading to him inspiring and starring in her new single "the boy is mine"
word count: 2.8k
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📍brighter days studios
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yourusername soooooon ;)
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user01 our soon??
liked by yourusername
user02 love you !!! cannot wait to see what youre working on
user03 you guys... quinn hughes liked this...
user04 NEW MUSIC?? OHH IM UP.
user05 i'm seated. the record store employees are scared and asking me to leave because "it's not even out yet" but im simply too seated.
6 MONTHS EARLIER
how can it be? you and me
might be meant to be, can't unseen it
but i don't wanna cause no scene
im usually so unproblematic
so independent, tell me why
'cause the boy is mine, mine
it was supposed to be for album promotion. sitting in the stands at rogers arena - right behind the home bench so the camera had easy access to see your dazzling face as the game unfolded in front of you. "he's kind of cute," your best friend courtney leans in towards you, pointing out one of the players only a few feet away from you behind the glass.
HUGHES. 43.
you study his side profile for a second - not giving him any real attention. you were here strictly on business and if people started suspecting you were eyeing somebody who was rumoured to be in a relationship (you checked) you knew that your publicist would call you in distress.
"i think hes taken," you whisper back, nervously eyeing the people sitting around you.
courtney nudges you with a small chuckle, "you checked?"
you playfully nudge her back, before settling back into your seat. to tell the truth, you were on a strict "no dating" rule ever since your ex boyfriend ran his mouth to page six detailing how you "cheated" on him with someone in a relationship. it wasn't a true story of course, but everyone flocked to the headlines anyway as an excuse to call you horrid names and say i just never liked her anyway!
hughes turns around then, and you feel your breath hitch as the speakers call out your name and your flushed face is plastered across the jumbotron. "you so like him," courtney laughs and you can't help but join her.
"portia's gonna kill me,"
"oh come on! a new relationship is a publicists dream... plus, i think he likes you. he literally cannot stop staring," you look to where courtney points and you see the defensemen skating towards centre ice - his eyes flicking towards you before he grounds himself in the game.
butterflies immediately fill up your chest and you know your screwed. the boy is mine.
something about him is made for somebody like me
baby, come over, come over
and God knows i'm trying, but theres no use in denying
you don’t know how she did it, but as soon as the final buzzer rang courtney was pulling you up and out of your seat and dragging you through the various corridors of the arena. “where are we going?” you ask, letting courtney pull you along.
“i’ve got connections babes,” she replies before coming to a halt in-front of a door. she knocks twice and a nice man wearing a suit opens the door slightly.
“you all good?” he turns his head and yells into the room.
“court…” your confusion is clear but before you can ask any questions the man swings the door open and your face to face with the canucks roster. “courtney!” you hiss lowly and she squeezes your hand tightly.
“you’re welcome…” she teases as she drops your hand and steps into the room.
as if your eyes were magnets, you lock eyes with quinn. his cheeks tinge with pink, and you quickly avert your gaze.
the man from before introduces you to the room - even though it’s not really necessary. your “scandals” have been plastered all over the news since your brief hiatus from music left everyone bored and in need of gossip.
"hughes - i mean uh quinn. i'm quinn," the man from the ice stutters as he reaches a hand out towards you. you slip your hand into his and with an awkward pause you two drop your hands.
"im y/n," you reply with a small smile and courtney silently slips away to greet the other players.
the boy is mine
i can't wait to try him
let's get intertwined
the stars they aligned
the boy is mine
watch me take my time
i cant believe my mind
the boy is divine
everything happened surprisingly fast. one minute you were sharing your number with quinn - against all rational judgement - and the next the two of you were taking any gaps in your schedules to spend time together. coffee dates turned into lunches, which turned into dinners, and then there were nights wrapped in each others sheets. it was all so crazy and fast - and it turned out that quinn wasn't seeing anybody after all.
please know this aint what i planned for
probably wouldnt bet a dime or my life on
there's gotta be a reason why
my girls, they always come through in a sticky situation
say, "it's fine"
happens all the time
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yourusername 🌞
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courtney miss youu
user06 cuties !!!!
user07 quinns liking her posts again...
user08 he saw her at his game months ago and instantly folded... i respect that in a man
_quinnhughes
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_quinnhughes Summa😎🌊
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trevorzegras what the dog doin
user09 now who's damn dog...
user10 TOULOUSE???
user11 ? who tf is toulouse
user12 it's yns dog!! istg she and quinn are dating
when you don't think the rumours are true but... your attention is stuck on your phone screen as your leaked song plays in the background of a tiktok. a pretty blonde girl lip syncs your song with annoyance and you watch the video a total of three times before clicking on the caption. "guess she fantasized about my bf too much and now hes hers lol... she's sick."
"do you know this girl?" you ask quinn and he lazily looks up from the pasta he's cooking. you mute the video as chills go up your spin. there is absolutely no way that quinn was seeing someone when the two of you first got together all those months ago.
"no why, is she your friend?" quinn replies easily.
you stare back at the video and all of the interactions it has. over two-hundred-thousand likes and all the comments are bashing you for something you didn't even do. you were so beyond tired of this situation and people using your name for attention. "no, i don't know her either," you respond distantly. you forward the video to your managers and hope they can rectify the situation.
"it's nothing," you dismiss your earlier question when you realize that quinn is still lingering on you. he reluctantly nods before turning his attention back to his pan. "thanks for coming here by the way - i know your schedules insane," quinn speaks up, mentioning the break in your studio time to come visit his lake house in michigan.
"thank you for inviting me," you set your phone down - completely committing to ignore the online drama and to focus on what's in front of you.
something about him was made for somebody like me
baby, come over, come over
and God knows i'm trying, but theres no use in denying
you had never spent so much time in one place. you were only supposed to be in vancouver for a few studio sessions with a producer native to the city - but ever since meeting quinn you became enamoured with the city. but it wasn't just vancouver either - you were also splitting your time between michigan as well. which, before meeting quinn was just a single stop on an 100-show tour.
but strangely despite everything, vancouver feels like home as you begin navigating your new album cycle and the words of 'wisdom' from your publicist portia who - you swore was only discouraging you from your relationship so she wouldnt have to stave off angry people on social media.
"i was thinking... gossip girl marathon and we order-in?" quinn suggests as soon as you step foot into his apartment. your mind settles as youre welcomed into your boyfriends space.
"have you ever watched gossip girl?" you ask, tossing your bag onto the couch before sliding up next to quinns spot in the kitchen. he had various online menus pulled up on his laptop, ready to order whatever you desired.
quinn hums, "i watched it with my mom when i was younger. i'm team blair,"
"team blair?" you gasp, "ohh you were made for me," you laugh lightly as you point towards one of the menus on his screen. "i'm so down to watch gossip girl,"
"do you wanna go set up the tv while i order the food?" he asks and you kiss him on the cheek before making your way into his living room.
the boy is mine
i can't wait to try him
let's get intertwined
the stars they aligned
the boy is mine
watch me take my time
i cant believe my mind
the boy is divine
"i think we should riff off 'fantasize'," you speak to your music producer - max - finally wanting to take back the energy from your leaked song. you were tired, and with quinn away on pre-season hockey duties you were bored. "something more sophisticated," you explain as you click through various samples and instrumentals. you finally land on one half-finished record and the lyrics immediately come to you.
"the boy is mine..." you hum along to the empty track as you pull out your notes app. "i can't wait to try him-" you continue, rapidly noting lyrics in your app.
by the end of your studio session the basic structure of the song was completed and you knew you had a hit on your hands.
and i know it's simply meant to be
and i, take full accountability for all these years
promise you i'm not usually
like this, shit, its like news to me
but i can't ignore my heart, boy
"the boy is mine, i can't wait to try him..." you sing quietly to yourself as you search pinterest for music video inspiration. "let's get intertwined... the stars they aligned..." quinns smirk immediately presses against your soft shoulder. he trails light kisses across your shoulder blade and up to your neck, silently begging you to continue singing your newest song.
"the boy is mineee..." his soft lips are ticklish against your skin but you can't help but lean into his grasp.
"i love when you sing," he mumbles and you tilt your head to rest against his. halle berry's cat woman buzzes in the background but neither of you are paying the movie any attention.
you hum, "oh yeah?"
he kisses your shoulder again and you fix your gaze back onto your laptop screen before lightly closing it and setting it to the side. "i still don't know what i'm going to do about the music video,"
quinn lays back in bed and allows his gaze to fixate on the tv. "what about catwoman? i'd bet you'd look good in a cat suit" he teases. you knew he wasn't being entirely serious but halle berry easily captures your attention as she dazzles on screen in her catsuit.
"the boy is mine," you hum lightly, completely enticed with quinns idea for your music video.
i can't wait to try him
lets get intertwined
the stars, they aligned
the boy is mine
watch me take my time
i can't believe my mind
the boy is divine
boy is mine
the male lead for the boy is mine video is a no-show. multiple calls to his personal phone, calls and emails to his managers and agency, everything is left unanswered.
quinn🤍🌙: i'm out front. i got your favourite drink
you sigh with relief as you quickly excuse yourself from the upset mass of production staff and your cinematographer.
"hey, what's wrong?" your boyfriend of almost a year asks with concern etched across his features. you blink slowly and all your frustrations manifests into tears.
"the shoot is going so bad," you breathe heavily, "and we're so behind schedule,"
quinn wipes away your fallen tears with his thumb. "why what's happening?"
"the male lead hasn't shown up yet and he and agency aren't answering our calls," you lean against quinn and he easily wraps a hand around your waist. "i've filmed most of my solo shots but i know the crew is getting upset and i don't know what to do. we're trying to find a replacement but-"
"i'll do it," quinn says quietly and measuredly.
"what?" you blink and pull away from him slightly. quinn passes you your drink and you allow the coolness of the cup to soothe some of your nerves.
"i'll be in the video" he repeats. "if you want- i mean i don't want to overstep or-"
you lightly tap quinns hand with your own. "i'd love if you were in the video," you say softly, nerves completely dissipating with his comfort and the solution to your problem. "thank you," you kiss his cheek.
less than an hour later quinn was fitted in his costume and was debriefed on the scenes he would be filming.
─── ➤ 📹
you left quinn to film his presidential speech sequence so that you could get ready to film the catsuit portion of the video. your dress was tight and your brown wig made you take on your pop-girl persona that you'd been sheltering ever since the infidelity allegations ruined your reputation.
"oh you look so good," quinn wanders up to you as soon as you step onto the apartment set. he eyes your latex dress before smoothing a hand down your side gently. "i was right about the outfit," he jokes easily and you lean against his side while the crew finishes marking the next scene.
"you don't look too bad yourself," you blush under the weight of his gaze. you trail one of your hands up the front of his chest before realizing where the two of you were. not like it would be a crime to ogle your boyfriend on your music video set... but still.
"how was filming your speech?" you ask, pulling away from him slowly.
"only forgot my lines once!" quinn jokes with a laugh, to which you immediately join in on.
"that's my boy!"
"okay, y/n - quinn, we're ready for you two now," your lovely director calls out across the set.
PRESENT DAY
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yourusername "the boy is mine" is out now!!🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ starring my boy _quinnhughes, featuring brandy & monicadenise !!!!🥹🥹🫶 and directed by the amazing christhedirector
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christhedirector the best is yet to come!🎬
_quinnhughes had the best time with you!❤️
arianagrande obsessed
jackhughes can't believe you let him on set
canucks the collab we didnt know we needed!🐈‍⬛💙
user13 QUINN???? HUGHES????
user14 the most insane hard launch wtf?
user15 the boy may be yours but i need him to be MINE!
user16 waittt this is the guy from the hockey game all those months ago??? wow
user17 mv was so good i started hallucinating
user18 loveeee you!!! this song and mv is literally so good!
_quinnhughes
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_quinnhughes "the boy is mine" by the amazing yourusername is out everywhere now!❤️
tagged: yourusername
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lhughes_06 can't believe this exists
_eliaspettersson 📸📸
trevorzegras damnnnn you really weren't lying
_quinnhughes ?
bboeser looking good💯
user19 WHAT
user20 me next pls
user21 so the rumours were true this whole time👀
user22 so did she cheat or not like...
user23 plss he wasnt even following that tiktok girl it was definitely a lie for views lmao.
user24 soooo their relationship is confirmed ?
user25 hughes girlies lost
user26 OHHH I WON I LOVE U BOTH SM!!
user27 this mv has me feeling things hold on...
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yourusername last photo dump i promiseeee !!! this project has been an absolute dream and i'm so happy that it's finally yours after all these months! i can't wait for u guys to see what else we've been working on.. ;)
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_quinnhughes the most talented♥️
user28 TRUE LOVE?? oh this quinn stuff is serious huh...
user29 i get it
user30 loveee you the most
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THE END <3
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doll-for-you-11 · 7 months ago
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Fantasy I can't stop thinking about:
I slip on a short skirt and crop top. I just got rejected and need to get some validation of men stating at my ass. I walk around and take a few different trains in random directions.
Almost every guy ive passed has either blatantly stared, or catcalled and Im feeling better about myself. Ready to go home, I realize I don't know what train Im on, and Ive never been to the station we're approaching.
The train is basically empty. Theres one guy accross from me, but he's ignored me most of the time so I feel fine. I stand to wait at the doors for when we stop. Feeling him stand and get very close. I try to step forward but theres no space. "Theres no running bitch". I freeze unable to get away. I feel his hand on my hip, rising to my chest, groping me as he grinds against me, pressing me to the door.
As we stop I see other people on the platform and sigh hoping he'll stop when the doors open and I can run. As the doors open I try to take a step but am stopped by a hand grabbing my ponytail. Getting dragged off the subway by my hair. My clothes ripped off as Im being degraded and abused. The man that grabbed me loudly saying disgusting, humiliating things as he drags me along like a ragdoll.
By the time he gets me to the middle of the platform, Im naked and sobbing. A crowd gathering around, all the men who have been "working late" and the creeps stalking the subway for new prey.
He throws me to the ground, laughing as I try to crawl away. Wrenching me back again by my hair, as I scream out in pain. Looking around hoping someone will help, but all I see are buldges and hungry eyes.
He wips me around, slapping me, threatening my life if he feels any teeth as he pulls his cock out, shoving it all the way down my throat as I violently gag around him. "Fucking good little whore, take it".
You moan as you wrap your hand in my hair and begin to face fuck me so harshly my lips and throat are bruised before I even run out of breath. Drool and precum pour down my chin, dripping onto my tits turning them into a shiny, sticky mess. You fuck my throat like you're trying to destroy any brain cells I might have left. I feel your hot cum spew down my throat. You hold your cock balls deep telling me to swallow, but I gag, dripping some onto my already dripping tits. You rip your cock out and slap me accross the face, throwing me to the edge of the crowd.
I look up at the man in front of me and he just laughs, kicking me back towards you and following, pulling his belt off as he goes. I feel your hand come from behind me, gripping my throat and pulling me to my knees as the other man binds my wrists with his belt. My mind is still reeling from your raping of my throat, I dont even fight back and you remove your own belt, pushing my face down into the other mans still clothed crotch.
He humps my face, humiliating me as the crowd laughs. He holds my head down as you begin whipping my ass with your belt. Im trying to get away as I scream in pain, but he's too strong. You ask the crowd for a number, someone yells 50 and you tell me to count. It hurts so bad I lose track and you restart again and again and again until my ass is black and blue and my eyes have clouded over from the pain, my tears soaking the mans pants.
He flips me over onto my back, pulling out his hard cock and straddling my head. He slaps me with his cock, his pre cum joining the streaks of mascara on my cheeks before forcing himself down my throat and pushing down with his full weight sitting on my face, grinding his hips as his cock fills my windpipe.
Struggling to breathe I dont notice your belt trailing up my legs until you whip my cunt with it. I jump, forcing his cock impossibly deeper as I choke and panic. You altrinate between my pussy and tits, whipping harder and harder as I writhe, my hands pinned and bound under me, the other man on my face.
He pinches my nose and laughs as I begin to lose consciousness. Just as I'm about to black out he pulls me upright and savagely fucks my throat, pulling out to coat my face in his hot sticky cum. I cough and sputter but before I'm able to catch my breath you're pushing my face into the ground and ramming balls deep into my cunt. Using my hair as a handle you pull me to my knees.
The other man sucking and biting my nipples. Groping my bruised tits hard enough you can see his finger prints. "Look at you, you disgusting cum dump. Your cunt is dripping, theres a fucking puddle under you and you want to act like you didn't want this? That cunt is an open invitation when it drips like that." He slaps me, rubs my clit, slaps me with his cock and fucks my tits all while youre animalistically fucking my dripping pussy.
You join in growling in my ear. "Little bitch thinks it can get on the fucking train wearing a skirt that barely covers its ass and not get used? You that stupid you little whore? Or did you want this? Huh? Was this what you wanted? Get raped and ruined in front of a crowd ? Put on a little show? Yeah?" You fuck me harder and faster, my eyes rolling back as I cum around you harder than I ever have before.
"Did you just fucking cum?" The man abusing my tits asks. "Did you just cum from getting raped? Are you that much of a dirty rape whore?" You pull out throwing me to the ground as the other man pulls me on top of him pushing me down on his cock and thrusting up using my tits as handles to slam me up and down painfully.
You get behind me pulling my hair and whisper in my ear "we're gonna see just how disgusting of a cunt you really are". You ram your cock into my virgin asshole with no preparation besides the slick from my cunt already on your cock, matching the other man in speed as you thrust in and out, your cocks stretching me out like a used fleshlight.
The pain shocks me enough that my jaw drops in a silent scream, my eyes rolling back as my body goes limp. My mind shutting off as I become a living sex doll. You reach around harshly rubbing my clit. I scream as I arch against you cumming, but you keep rubbing my sore oversensitive clit. Making cum non stop over and over. My whole body shaking uncontrollably.
I hear laughter and see other people recording and jacking off. It feels like forever before you both cum and you stop rubbing my clit. Your seed flooding inside of me as you both groan in satisfaction. You pull out and I whine at the feeling before you pull me off of the other man and toss me to the ground.
I can barely open my eyes but I begin to feel something falling on me and look up to see the crowd gathering closer, coating me in cum and piss as I lay broken on the platform.
I feel disgusted with myself, how could I have cum from that? But I can't help but moan as I feel the cum dripping from both holes and the showers of it coating my body. Soon enough I feel more hands on me, I hear men saying what I know are disgusting perverted things but I can't make it out.
The sun is starting to come up by the time they all finish with me. Im too broken to move, but some part of me is okay with it. After all, If I stay here, they'll know where to find me when they want to use me again.
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reemieme · 1 year ago
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SUCCESS STORY! (w photo proof)
story:
ive been in the LOASS community for around a month now, so ive been wanting a vinyl record player for like a few months and last week i was looking through amazon like “oh these are so expensive..” and then i was like im literally a master manifestor why dont i manifest it??? like i completely forgot ab the law 😭😭
anyway so that week i was just affirming to myself a few times a day like “oh yea i have a vinyl record player now!!”, i did SATS bc its fun, i talked to myself pretending i was talking to my friends bragging about my vinyl player, i searched online for new vinyl records to buy to play, and just STAYED IN THE STATE of having my record player. i didnt affirm 10k times, just everytime i thought of it to REMIND MYSELF i have it.
i ABSOLUTELY DID NOT waver. i did NOT get nervous about not seeing it in the 3d, bc i reminded myself i already have it so its fine. the law NEVER fails. so theres no room for failure. i lived in my imagination ion playing songs on my vinyl record player, (bc i LOVE visualization, if you love affirming then affirm for it instead!!) everytime i was like “i cant wait for my vinyl player” or “is it gonna be here?” or “hows it gonna come?” ECT i IMMEDIATELY flipped those thoughts with WHAT? i already have my record player wdym
tldr, i convinced my subconscious that i HAVE a vinyl record player, and since i lived in the 4d (imagination) where i have it, it reflected in the 3d bc thats the LAW. anyway, i wake up and theres a package at the door addressed to my name and i was so confused bc i dont order things. my parents had no idea where it was from and when i opened it, IT WAS A RECORD PLAYER RAHHH!!!
i literally SCREAMED yall i was like NO WAY. but i was also rlly confused so i looked at the address it came from and it was my aunt who lives a state away. (but we r REALLY CLOSE) so i called her and she was like “surprise!!! i know you love music so i decided to buy one for you because it was on sale.” and i was like OH ,Y GOD!! keep in mind she had NO CLUE i wanted a record player bc it never came up, and she NEEVR buys me gifts unless its my birthday or smthn which is in like 2 months. CIRCUMSTANCES DONT MATTER!
anyway here it is!!
i put a piece of paper w my @ next to it bc alot of bloggers r being called out for lying, and i dont want people to lose trust.
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(the second pic is on my floor, first on my bed.)
if u guys have any questions feel free 2 ask!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH TO @coquetteprincesss @nakedbibi333 @fleurlx @miracledarling @aphrodieties @blushydior @cinefairy @gorgeouslypink @heliosoll @hhtpsjup1ter @oonasempire @piercedblunt @remcycl333 @voidprincessblog YOU GUYS ALWAYS HELP ME SO MUCH!!! i love all ur blogs tysm for ur help w the law ❤️
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nyanbin · 2 months ago
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ღ infrunami — p.wb
10. papa's tteokbokkiria
꒰ EPISODE LENGTH ꒱ 3.1k words
꒰ AUTHOR’S NOTE ꒱ texts + tweets at the end! practically wrote a whole ass oneshot fic again cus im insane but theres more yn/wonbin interactions in this one i promise ^_^
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𖦹 JUN. 14 (YEAR 1, SPRING) — 5:48 PM
THE YEARLY SPRING FESTIVAL AT SM UNIVERSITY takes place right before the beginning of the finals period of the spring semester, acting as a moment of respite and fun for students before the inevitable days of rigorous studying. It was your first year attending the festival as a student at the university, but you had sometimes visited when you were in high school, oftentimes with Eunseok in tow, so you were already somewhat familiar with how it worked and what kinds of things you could do there.
Unfortunately, in your case, you haven’t yet been able to experience the festivities, because you’d headed straight to the tteokbokki stand as soon as you’d arrived. The festival had already  been in full swing by the time you had gotten there with Shotaro and Eunseok, on account of all of your last classes of the day being in a building on the other side of campus. But while you actually did have just a little bit of time to look around before your shift, the two boys were oddly eager to send you off, reasoning that you should get there early so that Seunghan wouldn’t get in trouble. (As if they actually cared that much if he did.)
So, here you were, standing under the canopy tent of the photography club’s tteokbokki booth, longingly watching the passersby and listening to the lively music that you could hear playing from every corner of the festival. The girls who were on shift before you had eagerly left as soon as they'd finished explaining everything you needed to know about running the booth, and you were still waiting on Sohee to get there, so you were ultimately left to your own devices.
In the short time since you had arrived, there hadn’t been any customers, which you figured was because most people were currently at the amphitheater nearby watching the music performances. Once those ended, though, you anticipated that there would be a lot more people coming by. As you looked around for something to keep yourself busy in the meantime, you noticed that there were only a few of the canned drinks that the booth was also selling left at the front, so you decided to start by restocking those.
While hunched over the cooler and rummaging for the drinks, you hear the rustle of the tent flap moving aside behind you and assume it’s Sohee who had finally come to help you on the shift. You turn around to greet him, cans gathered in your arms, but his name dies in your throat when you make eye contact with Wonbin instead, who freezes while still ducked halfway underneath the tent. A dry laugh escapes you, and you already feel the aggravation rewiring your brain as if seeing Wonbin’s face had flipped the on-switch.
“What are you doing here?” you snark, narrowing your eyes at Wonbin, who looks to be as taken aback as you are.
He hesitates before stepping inside all the way, glancing around and then back at you. He’s stood firm on the opposite side of the tent as he crosses his arms. “I could say the same for you. Didn’t take you to be much of a photographer.”
You scoff. “I’m not in this club. Seunghan asked me to fill in for him.” While turning away from him to finish restocking the drinks, you continue, “You know if you wanna buy something, you have to go in front of the counter, not behind it, right?” 
”I’m not here to buy something,” he snaps, quick to react to your condescending tone. “Sohee… asked me to come here…” 
You turn to look at him as he suddenly sighs, seeming to realize something as he runs a hand through his hair. “For what?” you ask incredulously. “To work here?”
At his slow, weary nod, it dawns on you, too: this was a set-up. 
Immediately wanting out of this situation, you debated whether or not to call the two instigators and tell them to get their asses over here, but you decided that it was no use. If they had planned this, there was no way Seunghan and Sohee would come back to relieve you of your jobs. You imagined the two of them were frolicking around the festival at this very moment, their phones conveniently on do not disturb.
Resigned, you shake your head in disbelief, turning around to close the cooler with a little more force than needed. “Those idiots…”
You plant your hands on your hips, chewing on your lip, now beginning to dread the next two hours you’d have to spend with the boy you had been at odds with the past few weeks. You glance sideways at the culprit, who was currently peering curiously at the trays of tteokbokki. Wonbin had still not stepped that much away from the other side of the tent, as if he would die if he came within a five-foot radius of you. (Which, in truth, was definitely possible.)
After massaging your temples with a deep exhale, you speak up first. “Listen, I’m sure you’re absolutely loving this situation as much as I am, but I don’t wanna make these next two hours harder than they need to be. So let’s just get through this without fucking anything up, okay?”
Wonbin thinks about your words for a moment with his tongue in his cheek, as if trying to find a way to sneak in a taunting remark, but he instead shrugs as he says, “Fine by me.”
Thus, the first half hour or so of your cruel and unusual punishment mostly consisted of the two of you trying your best to avoid the other in the small space of the canopy tent. Business was still slow, so much time was spent sitting in the folding chairs or idly stirring the tteokbokki, trying to pay no mind to the other person. The only time a word would come out of either of your mouths was when a customer stopped by, attitude all of a sudden all cheerful as if the hostility radiating off the both of you wasn’t evident moments before. 
Once the performances at the amphitheater ended, though, this determination to not work with each other only proved to be detrimental. As you had anticipated earlier, many of the people filing back into the festival after the performances were hungry and looking for something to eat, resulting in a rush of customers at the tteokbokki stand. 
At first, the two of you still refused to properly communicate with each other. But with the way you were each handling the customers on your own, one by one, it quickly became disorienting, as the two of you frantically moved around each other, often getting confused on who had paid already or who was still waiting for something. It was obvious the two of you weren’t gonna last long if you kept this up; so, in a hurry to make things more efficient, you grab Wonbin by the shoulders, pushing him in front of the box of money acting as the cash register.
“You take care of that,” you say while moving to place yourself in front of the trays of tteokbokki, “and I’ll take care of this.” You only look at him briefly, tilting your head as if to say ‘Understand?’, before returning your focus back to the customer in front of you. Wonbin opens his mouth to argue, but decides against it with a shake of his head when he looks back at the growing line of customers.
Eventually, with this system, the two of you seemed to fall into a certain rhythm. Wonbin would take the orders, relaying them to you, and you would serve the food. Every now and then, you would take turns to restock as needed. Simple as that. Unsurprisingly, the rush was infinitely easier to handle now that you and Wonbin were working with each other rather than against each other.
After about an hour into your shift, the constant stream of customers had finally died down and you could finally take a breather. You plopped down into one of the folding chairs while dabbing at the small beads of sweat forming on your forehead from having to stand around the simmering trays of tteokbokki for so long. You slouched into your seat, shutting your eyes and pulling at your collar for some ventilation.
“Here,” you hear a voice say from above you. You open one eye to see Wonbin standing above you, arm outstretched and holding an ice-cold bottle of water towards you. Your stare shifts between the bottle and his face, baffled, before sitting up and hesitantly taking the bottle into your hands.
“Thanks,” you mutter, before taking a nice, long swig. 
Wonbin leans his weight on the table next to him, taking a drink out of his own water bottle. He clears his throat before asking, “Do you notice when you do that voice? Or is it, like, subconscious?”
“What?” You narrow your eyes at him. “What voice?”
“Like a… a customer service voice? When you’re talking to them, your voice kinda like… goes up an octave.” With a sly smile, he begins to mimic your voice in falsetto, the pitch raising an extra note at the end of each sentence. 
“Ugh,” you groan, rolling your eyes at him. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“I mean, you suffered through it, didn’t you?”
“Oh, I suffered, alright.”
You expect him to bite back with another taunt, but he relents, just letting out a short, amused laugh, one corner of his mouth lifting in a toothy smirk. You huff, glancing off to the side while wrinkling your eyebrows in annoyance, but, for whatever reason, you realized you didn’t feel as vexed as you wanted to seem. 
Behind Wonbin, you notice a customer walking up to the table. You quickly stood up to go help her on your own, relieved to not have to entertain Wonbin’s antics anymore. 
The customer was an older lady who seemed to be a visitor from off-campus. Already quite used to it at this point, you quickly take her order (during which you realized Wonbin was right about your “customer service voice”) and hand her her food. But instead of leaving, the woman just stands there looking down into the cup with a frown. You raise your eyebrows slightly as she says, “Is this all you’re gonna give me?”
“Sorry?”
“Look, at how much you put in here!” She tilts the cup towards you, jabbing a pointer finger at it. “I could barely feed an ant with this!”
You sigh inwardly, your hopes of not having to deal with any irrational customers here having been dashed. “Sorry, ma’am, but this is the same amount we give everybody.” 
“Well, for the amount I paid, you should be giving more! What is this, huh? A scam?”
Wonbin had turned his attention to the commotion as soon as he heard the woman complain. He was off to the side busying himself with the supplies, glancing at you every now and then as the situation unfolded. When he notices it was only escalating, though, and the woman continues to raise her voice at you, Wonbin decides to step in. “We could get you a new serving, if you like?” he offers.
The woman angrily waves her hand in dismissal. “Just so you could, what, charge me extra for it? Do you think I’m stupid?!”
“There’s no need to yell…” he murmurs in response, earning him a sharp glare from the woman.  You nudge his leg with your foot, signaling to him that it was okay, you had this under control, but he just stays put where he is.
“Ma’am, no one’s trying to scam you here,” you say as softly as you can manage. “If you really don’t want us to replace it, we can give you a refund and you can leave.”
She scowls even more, and you thought if she kept this up the frown would be permanently etched onto her face. “Ugh, you young people are so rude nowadays! Here, just take it back!”
All of a sudden, the woman flings the cup of tteokbokki at you, its trajectory headed straight for the middle of your shirt. Wonbin is quick to react, though, and is able to pull you back by the arm before it hits you, causing the paper cup to fall to the ground instead. Unluckily, some of the sauce still manages to get on your jeans and your shoes, and you wince slightly when you feel its heat seep through your clothes.
The woman clicks her tongue in contempt, looking you guys up and down with another scowl. She then storms off, likely off to find another booth and terrorize the next poor unpaid college student working there.
Wonbin watches her go, then says, indignation lacing his voice, “Holy shit. What the hell was her problem?” He looks down at you, only to realize his hand is still clinging to your forearm. He hurriedly detaches himself from you, suddenly interested in the empty wall of the tent as he sheepishly scratches the nape of his neck.
His awkwardness goes unnoticed by you as you pinch at your jeans to inspect the stain. With a sigh, you say to Wonbin, completely deadpan, “Wow. You saved my life, thanks.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he laughs in response as he moves to the extra supplies to grab a clean towel, then dousing it with water from his bottle. When he turns back to you, you’re crouched by the spill on the ground, picking up the stray pieces of rice cake with a paper towel.
“Here,” he says, handing the damp towel to you to wipe the stain on your clothes. You thank him as you stand, watching him as he takes over cleaning the mess on the ground.
“You’re, uh, good though, right?” Wonbin continues.
“Yeah. It’s fine,” you answer with a shrug. “Though, I will say I’m kinda disappointed you didn’t fight her in my honor like a gentleman.”
“Did you want me to punch an old lady in the face or something?”
“C’mon, she wasn’t that old.”
Wonbin had finished cleaning and disposing of the mess, and was now leaning back on the table behind him, weight shifted to his arms, studying you as you continued fervently wiping on the stain on your jeans and shoes. With an amused huff, he replies, “God, do you seriously hate me so much that you’re siding with the lady who just threw tteokbokki in your face over me?”
You know he doesn’t mean it all too seriously, but his words have you contemplating these past few weeks in retrospect. He clearly didn’t know it, but, deep down, you knew there wasn’t a bone in your body that actually hated him. In fact, it was likely because, despite living (and fighting) with him for a while now, you still felt like you didn’t know him well enough to actually have it out for him. With this in mind, it occurred to you that this stupid scheme the other boys had planned had worked. And you’d hate to prove them right, but you resolved to swallow your pride and try to be mature for once.
After all, there’s one thing you (begrudgingly) knew to be true: Park Wonbin was still someone you wanted to know.
“Hey…” you begin, still mindlessly wiping at the stain, which at this point wasn’t going to get any less noticeable. “You know I don't actually hate you, right?”  Your admission catches Wonbin off-guard. He raises his eyebrows slightly, unsure of where this was leading. 
“Uh-huh…” he says skeptically.
“No, I’m being for real! Y’know, when I first met you guys at the café and I figured out you guys were gonna be my new roommates, the one thing I wanted was for you guys to like me. But you… you were just so distant, and cold, and mysterious, and—”
“Okay, okay. I get it,” Wonbin interjects, hands raised in surrender.
“I guess I just got frustrated because we didn’t immediately get along as well as I’d hoped, and it just sorta blew up in my face— in both our faces. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you… I’m sorry.”
Wonbin doesn’t respond at first, gaze directed downwards and his face expressionless as if he hadn’t heard a single word you’d said. You feel the heat rising to your cheeks in embarrassment, ready to take back your apology and replace it with another typically spiteful remark. But then he exhales, returning his gaze to you as he runs a hand through his hair.
“No, you— you shouldn’t apologize. It’s my fault. I was kind of a douchebag,” he admits, picking at his nails in uncertainty. “I shouldn’t have made you feel like the only way you could get through to me was by… y’know…” He waves his hand arbitrarily in place of having to describe the past few weeks of constant bickering and making passive-aggressive jabs at each other.
“I mean, it kinda worked, didn’t it? I feel like we exchanged more words in that argument we had yesterday over toothpaste than the entire first two weeks we knew each other.”
He lets out a hollow laugh. “Mm, guess it did.”
Amidst the bustle of people and the faint music heard from outside the booth, a silence settles between the two of you. It was a kind of silence you weren’t used to with Wonbin, so different from the typical tense, heavy silences you were often subjected to when you were alone with him. Nonetheless, the two of you basked in it as you watched people pass by, chattering and laughing amongst their friends. The sun was beginning to set, and the lampposts lined across the pavement were starting to flicker to life, bathing the festival in a soft, warm glow. It occurred to you that you still had a little under an hour to go stuck working at this booth, but, right now, it didn’t seem so bad.
Wonbin is the first to break the silence, saying, “I saw some people selling bingsu on the way here. I’ve practically been thinking about it this whole time.” He pauses to choose his next words carefully. “If you're not doing anything after this, do you maybe wanna… come with? When we’re done?”
You pretended to contemplate it for a little bit, tapping your finger on your chin. “Hmmm… sure,” you finally reply. “You’re buying, though.”
“Fine,” he yields. “But maybe you should get a change of clothes before we go. You sorta reek of tteokbokki.”
You push at his shoulder with an exasperated groan as the corners of his mouth lift to form a familiar teasing smile. “Oh, screw you, Wonbin.”
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꒰ AUTHOR’S NOTE ꒱ finally out of their blatantly despising each other era yayyyy 🥳 also for reference 25,000₩ is around 19$ and 2000₩ is around 1.50$ LOL
꒰ TAGLIST ꒱ open! leave an ask or comment to be added :) (strikethrough = can’t be tagged)
@parkwonbinie @icyona @yoursyuno @onlyhyunjin @naviiy @eepiestgirl @jvngw0nlvr @i03jae @started-with-f-ends-with-uck @annswwa @secretiny @pxnklover @yipyipmorals @mumeimei @planethyuka @soheendo @film-sea @suzayaaa @molensworld @revehosh @winuvs @wonychu @shoberi @nujeskz @swagpersonthings @byeonwooseokabs @5telephones @gyehyeonist @snowyseungs @pinklemonade34 @bunni @fae-renjun @enhacolor @seunghancore @taroddori @kyusqult @babigriin @sngj08 @cupidslovearrows @gacktsa @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @seokkiez @dearestjake @renjuneoo @tami1992x
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cute-sucker · 6 months ago
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note: these few asks will be a tribute to liona!! (inspiration) feel free to send me a few of your diner!jj asks as well :)
short masterlist: part one here, part two here, part four here, part five here, part six here !
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you're a regular now, and you can't believe it. you can't believe that you make it to jj's diner, and people greet you with a smile. you can't believe that your little girl sits on jj's lap with happiness, and that jj's made chocolate milk a thing on the menu. 
it's something about the little things with him. theres sweetness in his eyes every single time you come in, and you can't help but bashfully sit down. your baby shrieks in happiness, kicking her chubby feet every single time she sees jj. 
and it's all great. your tiny apartment feels so small and cold when your in it. sometimes you get out and know exactly where to go. it's jj's diner. 
the next time you walk in, you're a daze.
"hey? waiter? can i have some food, please. been waiting for a goddamn ten minutes," a older man snaps at you. you feel bewildered as you stare at him, and back at the little girl in your hands. somehow something in you breaks and you walk up to their table. 
he glares at you, "didn't know it was bring your child to work. this place is a pigstry." 
hurt stabs in your chest, yet you feel scared, hands shaking as you try to continue holding your sleepy baby. it's all a misunderstanding you can tell, but he continues to ramble about the food he wants, raising his eyebrows as he points to things on the menu. you want to shake your head, you're not a waiter! you clearly look like a mom who's confused. sure, you're wearing a shirt that has jj's diner on it. 
that. that was a gift from him, something jj fished out for you that one time your baby girl spat on your dress. and to surprise him, and maybe even giggle about it you decided to wear it. goddamn it! of course, you'd get messed up with it- 
"did you get that?" he man scowls, a heavy set of brows furrowed. you feel tears well in your eyes. suddenly you turn and see jj heading your way. fear strikes your heart, oh no. you need to find a way to fix this. 
you shake your head quickly, "yes sir, i got that-" 
"hey, bambi what are you doin' here?" he laughs uneasily, giving you a quick look before eying you and the older man. you find yourself giving him a sheepish smile, trying to wipe your tears with his shirt. 
"listen here. i don't know who your manager is, but really your staff is not qualified to do their job. i've been talking to this girl for over ten minutes and she can't even do her damn job." 
you watch his eyes go wide almost realising what had happened. there was almost a sharp smile on his face before he turned back to you with a concerned look.
"hmm don't really remember hiring, do i?" he teases, before looking back at the man with a serious face, "i'm the owner." 
now the man sputters, before jj leans down to rest his hands on the table, "listen man. she doesn't work here, catch her a break. when we're ready to take your order, one of our staff will get your order, alright?" 
the guy looks as if he's going to say something, before jj gives him a tense smile, and quickly turns you around. he's got a tight hold on your arm, and you drag your legs to follow him. finally, the two of you are behind the curtan, near the kitchens. 
you can feel tears swell in your eyes, hands weakly rubbing your babies back. he's got his hand in his hair, and all you can see is his back. he's mad, you can feel it, and you can't help but let words tumble out of your mouth. 
"sorry jj, 'm really sorry. i know i'm stupid-" you croak out, trying to be as quiet as possible with the baby on your shoulder. jj turns around, noticing the way you look. your knees are about to buckle, and he seems to quickly pull a chair. 
then he places a finger on your lips, "shhh now. listen, i'm not mad. but you really gotta work on that confidence," and then he gently takes your baby from your hands. you let him hold her because your scared that she'll fall out of your hands. 
a keen sound escapes your mouth, as you try to collect yourself, "yeah. yeah i know," but all it sounds like is soft sighs, and you lower your head. 
suddenly he's next to you, holding the baby on his shoulder, as his coarse hand strokes your head, "don't worry about it mama. nothing to worry about," he cooes, before you scoot and you sit on his lap. 
you can feel his heart stuttering out, and you wonder what this is? is this a relationship with him holding your girl like that? is this love? but this was not the time for it. no, instead you wrap your hands around his waist, taking a deep breath. 
you let him hold you like that.
taglist: @yourmumstoym @lionasvault @saturnrings77 @rainbowpiss34 @wowza31419 @tcddszn @maraudersmyloves @stxr-slut @redhead1180 @dinnodallas
let me know if you'd like to be added !!
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reidmania · 4 months ago
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STILL | spencer reid
summary ; loosing based off still by niall horan. You and spencer broke up and when you see him at a bar a month later everything comes back.
warnings; this is long pure angst with a (?) happy (?) hopeful ending. imma say female reader because there so many little things that indicate that. hella miscommunication, arguing, drinking, jealous spencer, i think its a happy ending idk tbh, let me know if i missed anything
a/n ; this is 4k words. i did not intend that at all, i honestly got so insanely carried away. im so sorry.
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You regretted everything, in this moment more than any other. You didn't know how you were possibly stupid enough to be dragged into going out tonight. When your coworkers approached you with the idea of going out for drinks after work as a way to celebrate your promotion, you shouldn't of let yourself get sucked in. It took some convincing till you eventually gave in, but you did -- give in.
Going home to change may not have been the best idea, since it gave you enough time to realise what you were doing and how much you really didn't want to go but you knew your coworkers wouldn't accept your cancelation. So instead you made yourself look presentable, good even.
Things had been difficult to say the least over the last month, while things at work were great, mentally everything was horribly. It had been a month since you and Spencer broke up. A month since the last time the two of you talked.
He had called a few times, but you could never bring yourself to answer despite how badly you wanted to talk to him, some night you would spend hours unable to sleep, staring at his contact, although you never went through will calling him, too scared he wouldn't answer.
Once dressed you left, calling an uber because you knew it was a bad idea to even take your car -- the whole point was to drink, and you would need to drink. As much as you loved your coworkers, you could only handle so much social interaction without liquor in your system.
Arriving, you noticed the group of your coworkers waiting for you outside. You pushed a smile to your lips as you approached them. You had many coworkers of course, but you had your bunch who you worked with closely, the ones here with you now.
Elise was your work best friend, you and her worked side by side everyday. She was the one who convinced you to come out. Ethan was another one who you worked with closely, but weren't nearly as close with. Frank was older, he was almost like the father of your job, and then there was Chelsea who was literally franks daughter, she was nice, easy to get along with.
"Theres they are!!" Elise said excitedly, you appreciated the way they all dressed up. You were met with a bundle of flowers, being held out by Ethan. "We got you these, as a congrats present" He smile.
You're entire face warmed as your chest did too. You were lucky to be surrounded by a group of people who cared as much as they did. "Aw, Thank you guys." You smiled widely as you took the flowers, not knowing what you were going to do with them inside the bar -- but you figured you'd worry about that later.
You followed them inside the bar, instantly finding a table. Everything sunk into place, everyone talking and chatty after ordering drinks and a round of shots, -- it was great.
But there was something missing.
You tried not to think about it as you swirled your straw around your glass, filled with alcohol. "You look bored" You turned your head to face Elise. You pushed a soft chuckle pass your lips, shaking your head.
"Im not bored" You denied, because you weren't. You were just waiting and hoping that the pit of empitiness in your stomach would disapear so you could enjoy yourself. She frowned, "Come on, Lets go get shots" She said, offering her hand which you took gracefully.
As you walked over to the table where your coworkers were sitting at to find out if they also wanted another round of shots or not, Elise grew sidetracked, helping Chelsea out with the zipper of her dress that was breaking.
"Ill come with you" Ethan opted, making you smile gratefully as you thanked him. The two of you wandered through the bar, through the crowd of people before you finally reached the bar.
You and ethan made small talk as you waited for the bartender. When he finally came, Ethan ordered. A round of tequila shots. The bartender nodded, it was busy -- so he was doing everything fast. "I am not drinking tequila!!" You gasped as you looked at Ethan.
"Yeah you are" He smiled back.
The smile stayed on your face, "Tequila makes me sad" You said honestly. He pouted dramatically, although you can tell it was sarcastic. "Well we cant have that" He sighed just as dramatically, "I promise if you do get sad, we will make sure to cheer you up"
You smiled but couldn't help but doubt his words -- you knew what you'd get sad about, and you weren't sure anything he did would cheer you up from a sadness like that. The one you could feel in your whole body, every movement.
"Important night?" The bartender asked, as he poured the shots. You went to deny it, not wanting the attention but Ethan spoke before you could. "Yep" He said popping the P, "Pretty girl here got a promotion" He said, squeezing your shoulder softly.
You forced out a chuckle as the bartender congratulated you. Pretty girl was the nickname your coworkers had given you -- it was teasing at first and it started from Elise, but it kind of just stuck.
You got your shots and walked back through the bar holding the tray carefully, as you returned to the table you immediantly got a bad feeling in your stomach, something was off, something was wrong. You could see it in Elise's face as she looked at you.
"What?" You chuckled, furrowing your eyebrows as you placed the tray down on the table. She looked almost guilty, as she shook her head, brushing it off. "Nothing" She said, reaching out for a shot.
Your concern and confusion only grew. "What?" You asked again, there was obviously something wrong. You noticed Chelsea looking in a certain direction, the same direction Elise's eyes kept drifting over to.
Your eyebrows furrowed deeper as you turned your head to look in the direction they were, despite Elise' protests. You almost wish you listened. You felt your entire heart sink.
Your breath got caught in your throat as you locked eyes with him -- Spencer Reid. He was already looking at you when you turned your head. You stomach dropped so far you swore you could feel in in your pinky toe.
You heard your name, but you could hardly pull your eyes away from him. He looked good. So good it made your head spin in a million different directions at once. Hearing your name again you finally pulled your eyes away from his, turning your head to face Elise who had concern lacing her features.
"Oh- Gosh- Are you okay?" She rushed.
You felt like your chest had been stepped on. You didn't say anything, instead reaching for the shot glass that remained, and downing it instantly. "I need to get drunk." You muttered.
"Whos that?" Ethan asked, he wasn't quite as caught up in your love life as Elise and Chelsea were. Chelsea scoffed. "Her ex, He is an ass" She said, Elise was quick to nod in agreement. Frank stood minding his own business, but you knew he was listening, he was always listening.
"He's not" You defened, because he wasn't. If there was an ass in the breakup, it was you. You weren't sure what sucked more.
Before Chelsea or Elise could say anything you spoke first, "Can we go get more drinks-- and move closer to the bar, I think ill be going there a lot" You muttered, grabbing the boquet of flowers you had been given.
Everyone was quick to agree, taking their stuff before finding an empty table closer to the bar.
You did exactly as you thought you would -- 4 drinks later, you were a lot mor tipsy but nothing seemed to take the pressure off your chest or cool the heat that Spencer eyes left on you everytime you looked over to see him already looking.
When everyone was engrossed in coversation you excused yourself to the bar, feeling the need for another drink or ten. When you literally asked for the most alcoholic drink possible, the bartender laughed but agreed.
"Congraulations" You swore your heart dropped at the voice. Your hands froze in place and you could feel the sweat building on the back of your neck. You turned your head, finally facing him.
Your eyes ran over his features -- his hair had grown out, it looked good. You wanted to tell him that but you couldn't. "H-How do you.." You wondered how he knew about your promotion, you were sure it hadn't been posted anywhere.
He rolled his eyes, nudging his head towards the table where your coworkers sat, you turned you head to look at them, noticing Ethan's and Elise's eyes on you and Spencer. "Your boyfriend isn't exactly quiet." He muttered, there was something spiteful about the way he spoke.
You whipped your head around to face Spencer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before the realistion dawned on you -- He had heard Ethan tell the bartender about your promotion earlier. "He isn't my boyfriend--Why do you even care." You huffed.
Spencer scoffed quietly, "Yeah Im sure, The flowers and 'pretty girl' really prove that" His tone was laced with jealously. He was jealous. You shook your head as you pulled your eyes away from his face. "It's been a month" He muttered, quieter.
You frowned at the mention at how long it had been since the two of you broke up. "I am well aware of how long its been" You held back from calling him Spence, it was like muscle memory. "The flowers were from all of them" You defended, although there was no reason you needed to defend nor explain yourself to him. "And pretty girl- its a joke-- they all call me that." You muttered.
"I called you that."
His tone still held so much jealously but sounded so much sadder. It made your stomach clench on nothing but the alcohol you had consumed, you turned your head to face him before looking away again, unable to handle the way his expression pulled on your heartstrings.
"I know" You said just as quietly.
The bartender handed you your drink with an apology of how long it took -- you hadn't even noticed. Drink now in your hands yet you couldn't find it in yourself to move. You could smell Spencer's cologne and it was consuming your senses and making your mind fog.
Spencer ordered his own drink after the bartender asked, before he turned to look at you again. "I called." He said.
You wanted to cry-- you wanted to sink into the pit in your stomach and stay there forever. You felt yourself grow dizzy -- he made you dizzy. "I know" You said quietly, scared if you spoke any louder your voice would give out on you. it broke your heart to be standing here next to him, when he had no idea you loved him, when you had no idea if he ever loved you-- let alone if he still did.
He didn't say anything, you assumed it was because he didn't know what to say. He knew you were actively ignoring his calls-- What was there to say to that.
Spencer got handed his drink, he muttered a quiet thanks, but made no movement to leave his place next to you, you didn't either. Neither of you said anything. You felt as if your feet were glued in place -- although you weren't sure if you wanted to move either. It had been a month since you had seen him, and as much as it gutted you to think about, you didn't want to leave yet just incase this really was the last time.
"He isn't my boyfriend, he- he isn't anything more than a friend." You said again, although you didn't look at him, keeping your head down as you sipped your drink through your straw. You didn't need to push so hard for him to understand -- but the last thing you wanted was for Spencer to think you had moved on that quick, it almost offended you that he genuinely believed you did.
He opened his mouth to reply, but felt a hand on his back, cutting him off. He looked behind him to see Derek. "What's taking so long, Reid" He asked, a teasing smile on his face. You looked behind you at the sound of his voice, meeting his eyes his smile fell slightly as he realised what was taking Spencer so long.
"Hi derek" You pushed a smile to his lips - of course Spencer was here with his team, you should've realised that. They probably just got back from a case, which explained Spencer's business attire, but he wore that more often then not anyways.
"Hey!! How are you doing!" He smiled back, opening his arms to hug you gently. It was friendly a simple. You were close with a lot of Spencer's friends and team, being his plus one to everything for months. Penelope had reached out after you and Spencer broke up, but just like with Spencer you couldn't bring yourself to reply.
"Im okay, how are you?" You asked. You could feel Spencer's eyes on your face and it left a burning sensation where his eyes laid as you pulled away from Derek's hug. "Im good! We've missed you around shortcake" It was a nickname, because of a strawberry shortcake shirt you had worn one time when out with Spencer.
You just smiled in response. You missed them too, a lot. They were your friends, and you hated how you lost that and Spencer all at once, but they were his friends first. "I'll leave you guys be." You muttered, forcing a smile to your lips as you avoided Spencer's gaze, pushing off the bar.
Spencer said your name and it made your head spin, it felt so natural falling from his lips, like it belonged there. If you had to pick only one person to say your name for the rest of your life, it would be Spencer.
You kept walking none the less, holding your drink in your hand as you approached the table. You put it down gently as Chelsea and Elise were instantly at your side, asking what happened or if you were okay.
"I think Im going to go home" You muttered as you felt the all familiar tingle in the bridge of your nose, matching the lump in your throat and burn in the back of your eyes. It was too much.
"Do you want me to drive you?" Frank asked, the fatherily instincts coming into play when he noticed the look on your face -- there was no convincing you to stay. You just shook your head, "Im okay, Thank you" You muttered, as you began grabbing your stuff.
"I'll walk you out" Ethan offered, but you were quick to shake your head. You didn't need to look to know Spencer's eyes were on you from across the bar, the last thing you wanted was to only deepen his concern by leaving with Ethan. "I really just want to be alone." You said, pushing a half hearted smile to your lips, he frowned but nodded.
You said your goodbyes before pushing through the people in the bar towards the door. Once outside, it dawned on you how hot you were, the cold air giving your flushed cheeks a cooling sensation. You dragged your hand over your face as you tried to process what had just happened without bursting into tears.
You opened the uber app on your phone, wanting to get home to wallow in every emotion you had been pushing down for the last month. You should've known tonight was going to end badly.
"Theres been over 3,900 cases of sexual assult or physical violence from ubers"
You turned your head to see Spencer standing at the door to the bar, not far from you but not close. The street wasn't busy, it was dark and only lit by the streetlights.
"Thats less than one percent" You muttered, pulling your gaze away from him. "Who said I was getting an uber?" You asked, despite the fact that you were, it baffled you how he seemed to know everything all the time.
"You're alone, I cant see your car anywhere and the app is open on your phone" He said as if it was nothing. He was a profiler for godsake, of course he picked up on the tiniest things.
You sighed, closing your phone you placed it in your bag, "So what?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest - now that the heat had somewhat worn off the cold air was leaving goosebumps over your arms.
"So, let me drive you home." He said.
Your eyes widened as you turned to look at him, shaking your head. "No. Its fine. I think I can handle less than one percent" You muttered, turning away from him again when the heat began rising to your cheeks again under his gaze.
You could hardly handle standing a foot away from him, you doubted you would be able to last a ten minute drive back to your house in the car next to him, you were sure the tension would suffocate you within seconds.
"Why do you do that" He asked taking a step closer to you. You were already resting with your back against the wall, there was no where for you to back away to even if you wanted to. You furrowed your eyebrows as you met his eyes, he looked sad.
"Do what?" You asked as your voice hitched, the pit in your stomach only deepening the more you looked at him, the closer he got the tighter your chest grew, the more he spoke the more your cheeks heated.
He sighed, "Push me away!" He raised his voice slightly, not in a way of anger but pure frustration. He was so frustrated.
"I don- We broke up Spencer" You reminded.
He rolled his eyes, "I know that. Trust me I know that." He muttered under his breath as he got closer to you. "You did it our entire relationship, pushed me away, held back, and then you broke up with me, why do you do that?" He said, brows furrowed as he genuinely tried to understand.
"You know why we broke up" You muttered quietly.
He threw his arms up in distress. "No- I really don't-" He said, before dragging his hand through his hair, only making it messy. You frowned, shaking your head as you reminded him. "We were both busy -- we hardly saw each other, our heads were in different places" your voice raised to the same level as his
"My head was with you!" He shook his head, "My head was always with you!" He sighed, he wasn't shouting, not really, but it was loud enough to match your level.
Your lips parted but you didn't have anything to say. Your head was spinning at the intensity of the coversation, at him -- so close, his cologne and after shave making your stomach feel sickly.
"I thought-" You ran your hand over your face as tears brimmed your eyes.
"You thought, you didn't ask me-- you just- broke up with me" He was shouting now. You genuinely thought your heart had fallen out of your chest. "You pushed me away, and then left like it meant nothing, like it all meant nothing." His voice was breaking with every word as his voice rasied
"It didn't- i didn't think it meant nothing" You were shouting too, and tears ran down your face -- you were unable to help it, each drop hotter and heavier than the last.
"Just be honest, I just- I just need you to be honest, please" He was on the verge of tears himself, and you hated it. You hated the way his voice was breaking, the way his hand was grabbing his shirt, pressing against his chest as if this conversation was bringing him physical pain-- like it was to you.
"You want me to be honest?" You asked, you were now the one stepping closer to him, you were the one shouting -- not out of anger, but you couldn't better express the way this conversation was all consuming every part of your body, your mind, your stomach, your chest.
"I love you Spencer" Your voice cracked as the words came out, "I love you so much, it hurts. It physically hurts when you are gone, when I was spending everyday worrying you weren't going to come home, I love you so much that I thought me worrying about you was unfair because you love what you do, and I was constantly in the way of that. I love you so much that i thought if i broke up with you, you'd be happier -- I thought the how much I loved you would stop hurting." you were practiclly sobbing, you would have been embarassed if you mind was able to focus on anything other than the boy in front of you.
"It didn't, its actually gotten worse because everyday I wake up and your not there, and I still worry about you just as much -- more, i worry about you more. Everyday I wake up and im completely heartbroken. God everyday I wake up and Im still inlove with you, " You continued on your tangent, "I love you so much Spencer"
You didn't even have time to breath before you felt cold hands on either side of your face and the feeling of his lips on yours, you could taste the alcohol on his lips. It was familiar and safe and warm. Your hands found their way to his face, pulling him in closer to you. The kiss was messy and passionate and everything you had missed so much, it was the sort of kiss that made every thought in your brain disapear, it made your knees feel weak and your toes curl in your way to uncomfortable shoes.
You tried to pull away but his lips chased yours, bring you back into him and you didn't make any movement, only kissing him back until you ran out of air, feeling lightheaded. You stepped out of his grasp as you tried to regain balance.
"Ill teach, its not an issue i've wanted to teach, god ill stop working all together if it means you'll come back" He said out of breath, eyes never leaving yours. You opened your mouth but he cut you off. "I love you, I've loved you since the day that I met you." he was huffing out words as he stepped back closer to you, invading your space and you couldn't complain.
"I don't- I don't want you to have to do that, you love working." you said breathlessly, shaking your head. You didn't want your relationship to mean him stop doing what he loved.
"I want you" He said, voice cracking. "I love my job but I love you." He said it like he couldn't get enough of finally saying it. "I'll work it out so you can come everytime we have a case, please I love you" He was begging.
"What does this mean Spence" You said, heart beating out of your chest. He just shook his head. "Who cares! I love you, You love me. I will do anything, just.. stay - let me stay." He said, grabbing your hand.
"I love you" You repeated.
"I love you" He said back.
"Where do we go from here?" You ask, looking up at him with squinted eyes, you were sure your makeup was a mess, and you looked horrible but there was so much love and hope in Spencer's eyes you couldn't find it in yourself to care.
"Let me drive you home." He said. You knew that meant it was the beggining. You knew he meant that he didn't know but he wanted to try. He was begging and there was no way you were going to let him go again.
"Okay."
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