#i know there is overlap. they all originate from punk

[aroaceleovaldez]

forever disappointed in Rick for, when presented with the decision of "what band t-shirt do i give Nico to signify his character and style," having Nico wear a Ramones shirt when the opportunity for Nico in a Welcome To The Black Parade shirt was RIGHT THERE. PEAK EMO AND IT HAS A SKELETON ON IT-

[lemonlimestar]

If you had full creative control over a cartoon adaptation of any dc comics/characters what would you do

letting u know, u have unlocked my sleeper agent phrase.

okay so i have multiple ideas but will focus on the most fleshed out one: a batgirl&robin series that would follow cass and tim (and steph) when their solos were overlapping on releases (basically within the duration bg2000’s run).

the art style would be an altered version of mine because i’m self-centered. joking it’s because i pull a lot of inspiration from 2000’s cartoons and i think i could make the vibe what i envision better that way. and i just really want to make a cartoon :) if not that, then i’d go in a more stylized 3d animation direction(e.g. into/across the spider-verse, arcane, tmnt mutant mayhem, etc). the background would obviously be similar to btas with touches of the other things i mentioned. i ALSO would have a banger soundtrack with a mix of punk rock (for tim & steph) and east coast rap (for cass & me) and general alternative songs i have already picked out bc. again. i am constantly thinking about this. i have playlists for robin93 & batgirl2000, as well as personal playlists for tim & steph (my cass one is private bc i have mixed feeling about it sorry cassie)

for actual plot it would open with a limited series with hour & a half long episodes that lightly touches on their origin stories and then goes into cataclysm & nml. the plot of the actual show would be transition out of that, and then the entirely of bg2000 and tim’s arc in r93 up until that point. i have some tweaks i’d do to the narrative regarding how steph is handled, yj (….and tt03 ig) happening at the same time as these events, and cass’s love life, but if i get into that we will be here all day.

thank u for momentarily entering my mind palace, have a wonderful day/night/evening

[tgrailwar-zero]

What is the point of sealing?

GIL: "The point where the infamous Interlopers were sealed. It's the point where Rogue Servants tend to be summoned, using the land as a catalyst."

You asked for two rooms, as SIDURI bowed her head appreciatively.

SIDURI: "Two rooms, understood. Gil, if you could help get those ready, I need to finish up in the kitchen."

GIL: "You all just hang tight down here, okay?"

The two left, leaving you at your own devices.

You looked around, as the conversation within the tavern picked up somewhat.

ANXIOUS WOMAN: "So, have you seen the announcement?"

SHARP-EARED WOMAN: "You're talking about that 'Warriors of Salvation' thing? Please don't tell me you're taking that announcement seriously."

ANXIOUS WOMAN: "Well… not exactly, but they're saying some pretty heavy stuff… and what if fighting starts? I don't think we can take another Origin War…"

Another patron spoke up, slamming his hand against a table.

BEASTLY MAN: "Incomin' war this, incomin' war that! It's a bunch of nonsense! The Solar Cell hasn't had a conflict since the Admiral arrived to spice things up, and that got settled lickity-split! All we gotta do is the trust in the Divinity!"

QUIET GIRL: "Uuhh…"

SHARP-EARED WOMAN: "Oh, hush. You're disturbing everyone else. Just because this place is usually pretty vacant, doesn't mean you can shout. No offense, Miss Siduri!"

SIDURI: "None taken!"

--You heard her call out from the back.

CONFIDENT MAN: "Right. Let's be realistic. It's just a bunch of conspiracy crap. The Heavenly Divinity isn't going to swallow us up and destroy our world. It's the same sort of trash like 'the Interlopers have broken from the Priestess' seal' or 'Lady Quetzalcoatl was killed in combat'. It's just more nonsense to add to the pile."

BEASTLY MAN: "Of course! They're just a bunch of punks. By tomorrow morning, we'll have an announcement saying that they were handled and scooped up, and we can all get back to our lives. All this doom and gloom will be done with!"

GIUSEPPE: "I guess Lady Cleopatra couldn't keep the tensions of conflict under wraps forever… information travels rather quickly here."

MUSASHI: "But to them, the war hasn't even started yet… I wonder if Izou and Duryodhana are doing alright."

KUKULKAN: "It's like we're living in two different worlds... best-case scenario, they don't overlap..."

NERO: "Hrm…"

CONSTANTINE: "You've noticed something, Antecessor?"

NERO: "Yes… The wedding dress that girl's wearing… it's gorgeous! I wish to know more about it. Perhaps I'll ask for her tailor once we get settled for the night, if she's staying here."

SALIERI: "More importantly, Charlemagne seems to be making moves."

The large, beastly man slammed his cup down, before pointing towards you and your group.

BEASTLY MAN: "You all, you pack of young'uns! What do you think? This whole 'Salvation Warrior' thing is a whole crock of shit, right? Hell, the Priestess won't even need to get involved, maybe we just send the whale at 'em, eh?!"

CONFIDENT MAN: "Can you be any louder?! Stop screaming, dammit!"

[ithinkyouhealedmyheart]

Collab of The Week

Characters: Kendall Knight, Drake Parker, Veronica Clark oc, Marnie Jones oc, Gustavo Rocque, Logan Mitchell, Carlos Garcia, James Diamond, Kelly Wainwright, Arthur Griffin mentioned

Pairings: Kendall Knight/Original Character, Drake Parker/Original Character

Word Count: 1313

Arthur Griffin had a weird obsession with collaboration projects for some ungodly reason. And this was the weirdest one yet. He found a grunge band that made it big in San Diego and signed them on. Either he was trying to push Big Time Rush out of the spotlight, or he really liked grunge was unknown.

This time, he demanded that Big Time Rush perform a cover with the grunge band's leader singer. The song would be taken from their second album and spun to accommodate all five singers.

No one was happy.

"You already have a pretty face! Why do you need another one?" James shrieked, gesturing to his face with fluttery fingers and a dramatic gesture.

"Hell no! I am not letting some boyband losers taint my song!" Drake snapped at Gustavo.

"We are not losers!" Carlos shouted.

Soon, the boys' voices overlapped with Drake's, echoing off the walls in the hallway. Ronnie held her hands over her ears. It was one thing when the four guys started arguing, but it was an entirely separate ordeal when a stranger was thrown into the mix. She was sitting cross-legged, looking through the sheet music to get a feel for the song and its subject. Pen marks covered the page. Notes were circled, and words in the margins were scratched out.

A girl with curly, fiery red hair sat next to her, idly scrolling on her phone. She was dressed in all black, with chains and safety pins holding pieces of her clothing together. Her face and shoulders were peppered with freckles, and her off-the-shoulder shirt made it easy to spot them.

"I need everybody to stop talking!" Gustavo shouted over the cacophony of voices. "You are singing with the dawgs!" He jutted a grubby finger in Drake's direction. "You- " He turned away from James, who deflated like a balloon.

"Do we have any objections?"

Drake rolled his eyes and scoffed, muttering under his breath. "This is such a load of shit."

The girl sitting beside Ronnie gently tapped her on the shoulder. Despite her punk-esque exterior, she had a sweet smile on her face. In a way, she reminded her of Callie—tough on the outside, gentle on the inside.

"I'm Marnie," the redhead extended her hand covered in black and silver rings.

Ronnie hesitantly uncovered her ears. She had forgotten her earplugs, but even with them, the guys somehow got louder in different ways. She stared at Marnie's outstretched hand, brows furrowed in confusion. No one had ever shaken her hand when they greeted her. Awkwardly, she shook the girl's hand.

"Ronnie, their songwriter."

"Oh, songwriter! Nice. I'm Drake's girlfriend," she shrugged. Her arms were decorated with way too many bracelets. Ronnie wondered if they ever got sweaty underneath it all.

"Cool." That wasn't a fact she needed to know, but perhaps the girl thought she would have a crush on her boyfriend. Either way, it was useless information. "Hey, how well do you know this song?" Ronnie thrust the sheet music in her direction.

"Oh." Marnie blinked twice, reading the title. "What exactly do you need help on?"

"Gustavo wants me to split it amongst the five of them,"

"That's easy, can I?" Marnie held her hand out. She gestured to the pen with her eyes.

"Uh, sure." Ronnie handed her the pen and leaned over curiously.

"The chorus should be the five, or maybe even layered. Oh! Wait, perhaps a call and response?"

The two girls huddled together, discussing ideas about the sheet music, while Gusvato got the guys together. He didn't like the collaboration idea either, mainly because the song they were signing was one that Drake had written himself. The guys were set up in the booth when he realized he was missing someone.

"Where's Vee?" He turned to Kelly.

"She's still outside going over the music." Kelly pointed over her shoulder out the door.

"We need that like yesterday!" Gustavo's face tinged red.

"It's okay, it's okay! I'm sure she's finished with it!" Kelly tried to calm him. The last thing they needed was for him to pass out before they started singing.

The door to the recording studio. Kelly poked her head out into the hallway. Ronnie and Marnie were still chatting, but from the looks of it, they were finished.

"Ronnie!" She whispered, gesturing over with her hands.

The teen got up and curiously wandered over.

"We're ready, " Kelly said with a tight smile. "Oh, and bring your roadie friend along, too."

Ronnie glanced over her shoulder, and Marnie gave her a wave.

Big Time Rush and Drake Parker had essentially divided the recording booth. They refused to stand next to each other. Drake and James shot each other dirty looks and even stuck the middle finger at each other.

The recording... didn't go as planned.

Drake interrupted the guys when they were singing, and James interrupted Drake. This eventually led to a competition between them to see who could sing the song better.

Out of embarrassment, Marnie covered her face with her hands and looked away. Ronnie pulled off her headphones once the two of them started arguing again. Gustavo was more than pissed.

Which resulted in them getting an early break.

"I'm telling Griff he can forget it. There's no way I'm singing with a zealous popstar." Drake took Marnie's hand and started walking away.

"Zealous?" Marnie laughed. "I'm surprised you know that worked."

"Hah. She just called you dumb!" James laughed. "Burn!"

"Okay, fuck you!" Drake turned on his heel and got in James' face.

Ronnie and Kendall exchanged weary looks.

"Seriously, I don't get why she's with you if you're such a jerk face." James spat.

Drake rolled up his sleeves. "First, that's a low blow considering I don't see your girlfriend."

"For your information, she is very famous-"

"Drake!"

Kendall, Carlos, and Logan went to James' rescue when they saw the ginger throw the first punch. Marnie eventually got into the fray, trying to pry the three of them off the singer. Ronnie went to grab the first-aid kit because she would indeed have to bandage someone's wounds.

Kelly had to break them up this time. She did not get paid enough to deal with all these teenagers. Logan had a busted lip, but Carlos and Kendall were relatively okay. James whined about how Drake punched him in the face and that it would ruin his beauty.

Marnie pinched Drake's ear like she was his mother. It was something she'd seen Audrey Parker do way too many times. With surprising strength, she dragged the boy to the band, sitting in semi-comfortable chairs.

"Apologize!" Marnie planted her hands on her hips.

"What? No, that's gay!" Drake grimaced.

"You're bi, now apologize before I make you."

Ronnie blinked twice. Okay, she could go for Marnie if they were both single.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!"

"Like you mean it." Marnie pinched his ear harder.

"Alright, alright! I mean it! I'm sorry!" As soon as Marnie let go of his ear, Ronnie handed him something for the pain. He snatched it from her angrily, and a muscle in Kendall's jaw twitched.

James narrowed his eyes. "I'm not accepting that apology. You ruined my face!"

"I made it look better- " Marnie elbowed him.

"I think it's best if we all put this behind us and get working on that collab Griffin asked for."

Carlos squeaked and nodded. He didn't know whether he was scared or turned on, maybe a bit of both.

Ronnie definitely needed tips from her so that she could handle Big Time Rush the same way that Marnie could handle Drake. They could go on a double date sometime, but she would probably have to bargain with Kendall if she ever proposed that idea. There was this glint in her eye that scared the blonde.

What has Marnie done to his girlfriend?

[asexxxualerotica]

Before I go to bed tonight—a bit ago I asked @freeusemuses what his roster of Pokémon muses looked like for each game, so I thought I’d list my own, too.

Obviously, my current muse is Stark, the Dark-specialist and Pokémon Punk. He hails from the Galar region but recently moved to Paldea to attend Naranja Academy. He is not a fan of the school uniform and has been written up multiple times for not meeting the dress code since arriving.

Also in Paldea is Cerise, who is a general playthrough protagonist. Cerise is a female student who is very fascinated by the history of Paldea and eagerly takes the history classes whenever she passes through Mesagoza. Her starter was Fuecoco, who she named Habanero.

Over in Galar, we’ve got Axel, who is a Poison-specialist and vying to become the first Poison gym leader in nearly ten years. He’s a personal rival of Klara, since they have type overlap, and they butt heads constantly whenever they’re not making out where no one can see them. Axel’s ace is a Drapion named Antares.

In Sinnoh, there’s Kristoff, who is an aspiring Ice-specialist who wants to kick Candice out of her gym—or at least force her to wear weather-appropriate clothes. He grew up in Snowpoint, and knows a lot about the ancient legends that came up in the area. His partner is a Weavile he’s had since he was a kid.

Finally, the muse that started it all, it’s Nate Black—the original. Nate Black is the character I played in Unova, specifically Black 2…where the male character is named Nate…but he really came into his own over the years. He’s a part-time singer, part-time movie star, and full-time trainer—where he finds the time for all of it, I have no idea.-

[franciskirkland-deleted]

Do you have any pink genre recs in terms of music? I want to get more into the genre.

-Hypermobile Françoise anon

hello!!! do you have any idea how hard this is for me to answer. i love rambling and being pedantic and going off on tangents. almost as much as i love punk music...

tl;dr i compiled a playlist for you, containing 3 songs from (most of) the bands mentioned below, plus a few extra from miscellanious artists bc 54 is my lucky number. it was hard to choose just 3 from some of my faves but i feel like this is a good introduction. long post to follow <3

instead of simply giving you a list and sending you on your merry way, i am absolutely going to spout off bc thats what i do and ur gonna regret asking. do you think you were gonna get off that easy? you absolute fool. sit ur ass down ur about to get schooled.

disclaimer; this isn't exhaustive. i'm not rattling off every single punk artist that's ever existed. just a few of my favorites.

the clash, the quintessential punk band in my opinion. defined the genre and embodied the political ethos. explored different subgenres througout their expansive discography. they were probably my first introduction to music as a whole since they're my dad's favorite band. i may be biased but i'd definitely say start with the clash. i'd recommend listening to their third album, london calling, first.

the pogues - the folk punk band of all time. NOT folk-punk like some smelly white man with dreadlocks screaming over poorly-tuned guitar. you'll know exactly what i mean when you hear it. they have a unique sound that just can't be replicated. and shane macgowan is actually such a beautiful person. their lyrics are also politically tinged, kinda gritty and edgy (i.e. gratuitous slurs) so not for senstive ears.

(i actually have a playlist of my fave pogues/shane macgowan songs)

the cure, in my opinion, invented goth or at least popularized it. their earlier stuff had more of a punk sound but every one of their albums is a perfect 10 to me. they're one of my favorite bands of all time and i could go on about them for hours so i'll leave it there. joy division, also more goth/post-punk but i love them, i have one of their album covers tattooed on my forearm lmao 19 year old decisions. no regrets (i also love the smiths, but they're not really punk punk.)

before you ask, no sex pistols!!! don't get me started on how much i hate the sex pistols i will throw up! god they suck. to me at least.

a lot of punks also listen to ska - no, not that kind of ska. 70/80s ska that originated from rocksteady/reggae. some of my faves in that arena being madness, the specials, bad manners, and the beat.

and as for across the pond - american punk artists.

johnny cash. no, seriously. man was punk before punk was defined.

my favorite band is probably social distortion. they're pretty different than those mentioned above, owing to their unmistakable americana sound and aesthetic. to me they're the quintessential rockabilly revival band, heavily influenced by country and blues. great guitar licks. think wistful and reckless all at once.

their frontman mike ness is an outrageously gorgeous man. he has two solo albums that absolutely slap. the happiest day of my life was seeing them live a couple years ago and he winked right at me - i promise i'm not delusional i swear he really did. ok i digress.

dead kennedys - hilarious lyrics and sick ass bass lines, very political and generally pretty iconic. one of my dad's faves. the cramps and the misfits. two bands overlapping goth + punk + psychobilly. pioneers of a campy subgenre known as horror-punk. i also really like danzig, the misfits frontman's solo career.

the velvet underground/lou reed - great example of american proto-punk. very NYC vibes. the pixies are a more grungy, later punk band. one of my mommy's favorites <3 i would unironically name my child velouria. definitely iconic but i find them overplayed sometimes, as in you've probably heard them at the grocery store.

this barely scratches the surface btw but i think that about covers it for today. sorry if i bored you to death pls come back and keep me company. peace and love on planet mpregfrance <3

[cogaytes]

I’ve been searching for a post for like twenty minutes about how saying Tam Song is emo can come from racist stereotypes and idk if the post in yours, but I did see you briefly mention that in your post about “the woobifiction of Tam” so I was hoping, if it would be too much trouble, if you could go into detail about that specifically? If not that’s 300% okay, no pressure, I just want to know what stereotypes and stuff to avoid, because I want to draw him as punk but idk if those sort of stereotypes overlap in the two genres etc. Sorry this is so long! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

yeah! i think i worded the original post badly; for me it's more people's stereotypes of what it means to be emo (being "repressed" and "moody" and "hiding their emotions") intersecting with stereotypes of asian men being repressed and not showing their emotions. the emo subculture is actually all about being sensitive and emotional, but i don’t think people necessarily know that, so people's ideas of emo get projected onto tam in ways that align with stereotypes imo. i also just in general think tam is more punk than emo haha

[kinocomix]

Untitled project Devlog #3: The crab effect

Today we’re going to talk about how art and politics are inherently inseparable on a conceptual level, but first: let’s talk about boots.

If you google Doc Martens you’ll be taken to their website where you have the option of buying an assortment of very overpriced shoes that a lesbian on tiktok assured me are made less good than classic ones from the 90’s and 80’s. When I was in class one day our professor mentioned how nowadays a lot of companies adopt an ideology put forth by Ford (the car manufacturer) where if you have a very sturdy part of a machine that’s expensive to make but the rest of the machine isn’t, the “smarter” idea is to make this part cheaper and less sturdy than to spend a bunch of money to make the whole machine better- supposedly this is better for the consumer somehow but that’s not the point. Setting aside how that raises the question of planned obsolescence and potential consumer exploitation, part of the reason that people say old Doc Marten shoes are better… is probably because they actually are. 

from how to geek: https://www.howtogeek.com/731791/what-is-planned-obsolescence-and-how-does-it-affect-my-devices/

This sentiment, the idea that companies aren’t worth your respect because they optimize their products to make more money and not to actually sell you a good product is part of what a lot of punk subcultures are about. Those same boots were likely part of the original fashion focused subculture, skinheads, that assisted in the creation of the punk genre. 

The original meaning of “skinhead” referred to some working class young people who had some extra cash to spend on clothing. Because history is always very messy, some racists saw that and thought “oh wow young people who can vote” and then neo nazis happened. in reaction to that you had people still calling themselves skinheads now taking an anti racist anti fascist approach. to note: it’s not clear cut, you still had people in the middle not caring.

This is how the ideology of punk was born. It’s this whole messy history lesson spanning continents, politics, fashion, a distaste for what was then the way too polished mirror sheen of rock. they wanted something tangible, something of the people by the people. so take the urban fashion of the original reggae/soul/ska influenced skinhead movement born in the UK, combine it with the now beginning to be unique sound of american punk just trying to sound different, the image of the working class “bastard” that deconstructed and challenged the idea of what a musician was and you get a socio-politically motivated genre of music that wants the best for the people.

sidenote: in case you’re wondering- yes there were neonazi punk musicians, but it’s not called punk, it’s called hatecore, which is… a fitting name. Genres are not only defined by sound, but themes as well.

Remember when I mentioned that music changes based off of the social fabric it’s built on? there you go. Punk as we know it would not exist the way it does today had it not been for that messy history. Now with that in mind, you can hopefully see why there’s an overlap with metal. If I were to vaguely state “loud music that actually wants to say something very important” you might have a hard time telling me which genre I’m talking about. This overlap is vaguely similar to how nature keeps evolving crabs independently from each other:

“Carcinization is of interest to carcinologists and evolutionary biologists for several reasons and at different levels. First of all it is an instance of astonishing convergence, concerning a whole set of structures.”

Scholtz, G. (2014). Evolution of crabs – history and deconstruction of a prime example of convergence, Contributions to Zoology, 83 (2) 87-105. https://brill.com/view/journals/ctoz/83/2/article-p87_1.xml

And… it’s weird right? how these people trying to do different things ended up in the same place. to note, I’m aware that both of these genres are not exclusively worried about social and political issues, no genre is. Metal is first and foremost fun, and punk music is first and foremost that: MUSIC. But it’s hard to deny that both genres are intense in their messaging. 

Remember the time System of a Down set aside years of creative differences to talk about the war happening in Armenia?

Literally any Russ Russel song will be talking about some variation of politics/the man/religion

Napalm Death, Metaphorically screw you

Here’s a fun fact, Rage against the machine got the N-word pass (I would presume) to sing their cover of Fuck the police

You know the meme of Gojira being all like “come here bb girl” and then it’s just like a tree? I mean that’s not based on nothing either…

On the lesser known end of the spectrum, you have artists like 3teeth which raise an interesting question:

3teeth, president X

“It’s all kind of… tongue in cheek?” you might say. There’s the song “God hates us all” by Slayer, when the lead singer Tom Araya was asked if he actually believes that he simply said the following:

Tom Araya in in Metal: A Headbanger's Journey, directed by Sam Dunn

Metal Musicians aren’t dumb. They know what they’re doing. Sometimes they’re Genuinely convinced of what they’re talking about. Other times They’re just trying to be outrageous. 

Dee Snider, Lead singer of twisted Sister

A lot of the gender norm defying things the metal scene did in the 70’s was because they were just trying to look cool and outrageous. But let’s forget about that for a moment. I can hear someone giving the arguments “What about Nu metal?”, “What about Rob zombie?”, “what about Ghost”, “what about [insert commenter’s band here]?”. Are those political? no, neither is most music in general. No one listens to Feiruz and thinks “ah yes, you can clearly hear the Palestinian struggle represented through the lyrics” but you might just look up Feiruz, learn she’s from Lebanon and then learn about the part of the world glued to Lebanon called Palestine. This is called tangential learning, so in that same sense, maybe you’ll be listening to Bodies by Drowning pool–which is about moshing by the way– and for a moment you’ll think of something else more serious for example. Again, you might not, and that’s fine… but you can’t deny that the path is there. 

Setting that aside for a moment, let’s consider the argument that music is a form of escapism. Leaning on this as your sole argument is very narrow minded and forgets the idea that escapist fiction is inherently anti-escapist. When you read Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson (which is great by the way go read Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson) sure you’re immersed in the world of the book and the intricacies of this nigh-impossible magical bank heist. But once you put down the book, you’re always reminded of the world you’re escaping from. Escapist fiction offers a temporary relief from reality, there is always a thread that tethers that fiction to the real world it pushes against. 

Craig Thompson, Blankets

If you're still reading at this point you’re probably wondering how any of this is relevant to a comic book, let alone one that I'm making. The project I'm working on is going to feature a band that we’re going to be eventually making characters for. but in order to do that and do it properly, it’s important to understand the motivations behind the music. If I don’t then you end up with cliche characters like “angry rebellious metalhead” and “overly verbose activist punk” which no one wants and that would make the whole thing a shit fest at worst, and a boring comic at best. It’s important for me that i don’t rely on the events taking place in the story to hold it up, the world and people in it need to be just as interesting and complex as the contrivances of my narrative, otherwise I’m just writing a less good bandslam or a very uninspired rip off of inception that completely misses the point.

Anyways!I would be remiss to not specifically point out that I actually have a goal I’m working towards, I have a plot outline that’s been figured out for a while. All the work I’m doing fits into that skeleton in one way or another, but that’s it for now.

Devlog updates on tuesdays

[johannesson]

I shit on Back to the Future II for a loooooooong time

~ The other night I watched the original Back to the Future with my grandmother. It's a popular take on time travel and it was a good movie. I loved it, thought it was funny, exciting, endearing at times. I enjoyed the fifties setting, and the concept of a kid raised in the eighties finding himself a fish out of water in the previous era. I just enjoy seeing the set designs of the old town buildings, costumes, music, and how they contrast with the 'modern' look of Marty. Good popcorn movie, and it didn't overlap with anything I was writing in my novel (it's good to know that your ideas are fresh and not re-used, even on accident). So, the next night, we started watching the sequel. I couldn't even get through it. Cheesy, boring, stupid, and painfully unoriginal. Shit, the first scene of the movie is /exactly the last scene of the first/. Maybe besides the added scenes of Biff, who overstayed his welcome by far. It felt disappointing, did the creative well dry up? It's a textbook example of why sequels should expand on the universe, build characters further, and give us more to look for. Apparently the third movie is also just the original movie but /set in the wild west/. They teased the bad guy in the second movie.

Speaking of that, I wasn't a fan of the dropping hints towards sequels, in all the movies. The gall of something as trashy as Bttf-II out loud contemplating a sequel midway through its horribly long run felt big-headed and presumptuous.

The whole thing felt like a Hollywood-funded AU fanfiction, something I'd read on the old .net on my Kindle tablet. What if BttF was set in the future, not the past? Dark!AU, Future!AU. The mom wears slutty clothes, Marty is kidnapped and brought to his room, Biff is his powerful rich stepdad! Also Dystopia!AU, where crime runs rampant, upper-middle-class wet nightmare about how the world will explode and those punk kids will shoot at us from their trucks.

There were also some weird story elements that just didn't make sense either? Why does Marty's son look exactly like him, but his daughter looks totally different? How does genetics works? The thing about being seen in the DeLorean, having it seen flying, and now it's suddenly a bad thing with consequences? Can you imagine how many people also looked outside of their windows and saw the same thing? Also, if Biff and others remember Marty being in their past, wouldn't they remember his face, too? The sound of his voice? Besides when the plot calls for it.

The use of catchphrases, repeatedly, was grating fast. Just needed to add that. There's so many times I can hear them say the line before it gets annoying. Plus the acting in some places was almost painfully subpar for being really good in the first movie. One-liners, missed lines. I actually winced at the scene where Marty got fired from his job, like man, I thought you were good at this shi Lastly, I do have to say that the attempted changing of common phrases in 'future-talk' was a good little detail, with how many times I consider how phrases and ways we casually talk have changed even over the course of the past ten years, five even. Rizz? Swag? Radical? Awesomesauce? Half these words make little sense outside of context and sound even more ridiculous when you try and look closer at them, so weird slang words made sense. But having seen 2015 myself, not finding it all that impressive really, it kind of made immersion difficult. Aged like milk imo.

It's as frustrating as watching a guy create something so original, cool, fascinating and fun, and then intentionally, laser-focused shooting himself in the foot. Twice.

[beaftly]

I've seen some people claim to be an authority on cripple punk due to their age lately. Honestly, if your only (tenuous) grasp on a movement is your age, ESPECIALLY if many, many people in that movement are telling you to stop being a disrespectful ass, you're a disrespectful ass. You know exactly who I'm talking about.

To recycle that person's words, this isn't cute. This is cruel. This person has been reaching out to other bloggers unprompted, jumping onto their posts and causing their followers to dogpile the OPs. There's been death threats, all of which have come from this person's following. How can you watch your people do things like that and be okay with it, even making sure to reply as coolly as possible to a suicidal person and therefore making them out to be the bad guy?

Like I said in my pinned post, the mind-body continuum or WHATEVER you wanna call it is really wonky, and there is definitely overlap (you can be tired from depression or from myalgic encephalomyelitis, the latter of which is a physical disability)! However. As people have been continually pointing out, the literal first principle of the cripple punk movement is that it is for physically disabled people, by physically disabled people.

I've seen arguments that, well, the brain is an organ and therefore my mental illness/neurodivergence is a physical disability! And that's just not true. Like I said above, you can have fatigue from depression, yeah - but that's not gonna cut it if you want to co-opt a literal slur. To use the word "cripple" you have to be someone that word would be used against as a slur. Which isn't pleasant to think about, but it's true. Your depression isn't gonna have people gawking at you, calling you a cripple. It's just not! Nor is your autism, your schizophrenia, your ADHD, your bipolar or borderline or anxiety.

Some people are saying that since, for example, cerebral palsy is a disorder originating in the brain, well then folks with that diagnosis can't claim the word cripple, either. But the way cerebral palsy works is not a mental illness or a neurodivergence - it's literal brain damage, to quote an acquaintance with CP. And it affects the movement of the body, it causes pain, people need surgery because of it - I could go on. The same is true of disorders like functional neurological disorder: it starts in the brain, but it affects the entire body in ways your mental health alone won't.

In summation of the above, those with mental illness and/or neurodivergence cannot claim the word cripple. As a mutual put it, if you'd need a modifying word to tack on around "cripple," it's not your word at all. If you would enter a cripple punk space and have to preface your entry with, "oh by the way, I'm only here cuz I'm neurodivergent," it's not your space. Cripple punk spaces are highly specialized. As someone else put it, it would be like a gay guy waltzing into a lesbian bar and wondering why there were no gay-guy resources available there.

If you're ND and/or mentally ill, what you're looking for is madpunk and/or neuropunk. There's lots of overlap between the two, and it's a place you'd probably prefer in time over cripple punk spaces anyway. Madpunk resources are specifically for people with brain stuff like the aforementioned anxiety or borderline or ADHD or whatever.

And if you are mentally ill/neurodivergent, *and* physically disabled (like myself), and you're advocating for purely-ND/mentally-ill folks to use the word cripple... Well, I'm just gonna say it. You're not only in the wrong, but you're insulting the memory of the creator of cripple punk. (Don't y'all dare call them ableist again or so help me lmao. Or me, for that matter!)

On the slim chance this post makes it to the very person who's been using their age as a gotcha, being a dick to suicidal folks, and disrespecting the creator of cripple punk, that would be because someone screenshotted and sent this post to them, because you bet your ass I have them blocked lol. I've been trying to stay out of this but I cannot believe the audacity of the thing. I'm very tired of all this and I hope it gets shut down soon. Ok, peace out.

[blurrymango]

Girl (gender neutral because I don’t feel like checking for pronouns) what.

First off I don’t go to pride parades. Second off, I don’t believe pride parades are an LGBT only event, so I don’t care about cishet kinksters and drag queens attending.

Also, it’s not about me deeming them acceptable or not, it’s about the fact that LGBT rights is an LGBT thing.

The difference matters when it comes to legal shit.

I don’t appreciate you thinking that I need people to explain who they are their identity and then comparing your headcanon about me to the nasty shit TERFs do.

Trans people fighting for their right to transition without it being considered controversial and gay people fighting for their right to adopt children without it being considered controversial is extremely different from kinksters wanting to do BDSM or furries being furries or punk people listening to the music they like.

Sure, a trans woman and a drag queen could look, at a glance, to be the same, but they are entirely different. A trans woman is a woman trying to live as a woman and become comfortable in her body, a drag queen is a man doing a performance of femininity. Conservatives just see two men in dresses. Smart people will get to know two people with entirely different experiences and goals in life. 

That’s what I’m talking about here, labeling LGBT people and cishets who are not the societal norm as both being just the same group of queers is not helpful because everyone is ffucking different and has different experiences.

But conservatives seeing LGBT folks and lumping them under the same socially unacceptable umbrella as kinky folks and furries is their problem. It is not progressive. What you did in your original post and reblog is say that cunts who label entirely separate but often times overlapping groups of people together is a good thing. That LGBT folks and furries being put under the same umbrella is good because “well we’re all freaks anyway” ignoring that LGBT folks and furries are are their core fundementally different.

So no, this is not me demanding everyone be up front about everything about themselves at all times, this is me saying that lumping together different groups of people under one umbrella is ffucking bad whether conservatives do it or progressives do it. Conservatives and TERFs look at drag queens and trans women and label them all just weird men in dresses, and the original reblog is implying that the distinction doesn’t matter because they see us all as freaks anyway. That’s not a good thing, sorry.

was thinking about infighting and like. they all see us the same. from the wildest queerest fagdyke to a cis gay guy. we are the same to them. the weird queers are not like. ruining your precious community. we're a part of it

[esamastation]

Here's a sneak preview of fic I'm currently working. Working title is Loose Ends and it is post AC 3 and post the original Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters manga and anime. I guess spoilers for both. And Ac Valhalla, a tiny bit.

-

"You know you have to take care of it."

Desmond hesitates, hand stilling over golden threads of probability, glowing in the grey darkness. He hadn't gone over even a fraction of them yet, and there are probably a million things that need taking care of, now that Juno and Minerva aren't here anymore to literally pull the strings, but… he doesn't need to ask which it they're talking about here.

"I will," Desmond says. "...as soon as I find a way in, I will."

Clay scoffs. "You're not looking very hard."

No, he isn't. He'd been distracted by alternate realities, watching Ezio marry Christina and Altaïr enjoy quiet life with Maria and – and there's just a lot of stuff to look at, to see, to be… vaguely jealous of, sure, but –

"You know that time is still passing out there all linear like, right?" Clay points out. "Abstergo is still looking for Isu tech, and anyone with any ancestral memories about it – if they find out that someone figured out how to make the damn things –"

"Juno blurred those genes," Desmond says a little defensively. "They're literally been hidden from me. And everyone else too, so, even if Abstergo knew about them, which they don't –"

"That's not going to work forever and you know it. Minerva's protections already wore down – as soon as Juno dies, and let's hope it won't take her too long, her manipulations will go too. The genes will become visible again – Animus readable. Like a program, restarting backup after shutdown."

Desmond sighs, unable to argue with that. His hand wavers indecisively, and then he lowers it, shaking his head. "I know – I am still looking for a way in. I just don't have any ancestors in the area at that specific time. Do you?"

"Look harder."

Frowning a little, Desmond lets his shoulders sag a bit before shaking his head and looking at the threads of probability instead, where they rise in front of him into a magnificent glowing tree with infinite branches.

Look harder – look where? Into his ancestry? He has, Desmond is so aware of his lineage that it's a bit uncomfortable – had he missed something…?

"Think about it," Clay says, sounding almost bored now. "Juno wouldn't have wanted to give those memories to you, that data, so it's not in your DNA – but you do have some ancestry in the area, don't you? Even if it's the wrong time, you have ancestry everywhere. And this was thousands of years ago, and with your lineage…"

Yeah. Minerva had collected his genes from all over the world, putting Desmond Miles together like a puzzle. He has a wider spread ancestry than the average… so looking for who he isn't related to is almost easier than the opposite. The data must still be there, though. The Isu are hoarders, when it comes to genetic memories – they wouldn't have let something as big as this just die out. So somewhere there is someone with that connection – someone with afoothold in the right time period…

Concentrating, Desmond gathers the threads of his own lineage – and then dismisses them. There would be no connection there, he can't find this information from within. It would be somewhere else, obscured, hidden… He'd looked at some of the lineages in the area, and none of them connected to the right time or location either. It smacks of Minerva's obfuscation, she'd lead the bloodlines elsewhere probably, hiding them in the distance as well as time...

Something tickles at Desmond's fingers, just for a moment – without thinking of it twice, he wraps his hand around the thread and pulls –

– and gets pulled away with it.

-

The lineage has protections in place, it turns out – there's a trap. Pulling on that thread tweaks Desmond's own probabilities, and for a while he finds himself in a maze of chances and statistics, all of them leading him wrong. It's incredible – almost physical, like an endlessly folded space of million overlapping staircases and doors leading into more mazes, leading nowhere. Whoever wove it wasn't an Isu, can't have been – it's way too imaginative.

It takes Desmond a bit of manoeuvring to get through even some of it. Luck is on his side, though, even with tweaked probability – the trap isn't active anymore. A bit like Minerva's protection, the maze is unravelling at the edges, because probability isn't an easy thing to tame and it doesn't like to sit idle. Still fascinating, though – definitely a learning experience. If he could learn to weave likelihoods like this –

"Hello?" echoes a voice in the maze of false possibilities, and Desmond freezes. "Is – is someone there?"

… what are the chances of that?

Turning, Desmond finds himself in a sort of hall, surrounded on all sides by stairs and doors – facing a... short asian man with a partially bleached spiky hair. He looks a bit like a punk, with ripped up vest and studded bracelets – there's a belt around his neck and everything. Kinda goth punk. Huh.

"Uh," Desmond says, stunned. Definitely didn't expect that. "Hi…?"

"Hi," the other man says, frowning. "Who are you – how did you get in here?"

"How did I – how did you get in here?" Desmond asks. Desmond at least has the excuse of being a disembodied bundle of genetic data – he can just do that, now. This guy is… not that. "Do you know what this place is?"

The Asian guy frowns, looking at him and then glancing around. "Do you?"

Swallowing the urge to say asked you first, Desmond looks the guy up and down, and then peers inside. Or tries to – and it clicks.

"Oh shoot, this is yours – we're in your head?" Desmond asks and glances around with new appreciation. It's like a – a load screen, an Animus headspace. "Aw man, I'm sorry, I didn't think you might be aware – I thought this was all automated, I wouldn't have just barged in like this if I thought it was all in someone's head."

The Asian punk blinks with surprise and then relaxes a little. "Oh. Well, if it wasn't intentional – and you're not here to harm anything, I guess it's alright?"

"No, no harm intended," Desmond assures. "Sorry – hi, I'm Desmond. Desmond Miles."

"Mutou Yugi – or Yugi Mutou, I guess. Yugi is my given name. It's… nice to meet you?" the punk says and clears his throat, looking him up and down. "Um, how do you end up in someone's Soul Room accidentally?"

-

Have written 2 chapters currently, aiming for the total of 5 or less.

[jule1122]

Love confession prompt: “We need to stop dancing around it. All it does, is hurting us both!”

Dear Anon, thank you for the prompt. I am sorry it took so long, but the story got away from me. I hope you enjoy it!

It was only ever you on AO3

Summary: Five times Michael tried to interfere with Alex's love life and one time he didn't have to.

Yet another Malex getting back together story that includes a Forlex breakup, a brief positive mention of Miluca, some OCs that appear briefly. It is not S3 compliant.

Huge thank you to @im-the-punk-who for amazing beta work that not only made this a much better story, but also saved everyone from my repetitive sentence structure. All remaining mistakes are mine.

Title from "Afterlife" by Nothing But Thieves

1.

“You should take Forrest,” Michael tells Alex, handing him a flyer as they finish up yet another night of trying to figure out what Jones had been up to before he’d been sealed in that cave. “I mean there aren’t any Nazi’s, but it’s the right time period.”

Alex studies the advertisement for an exhibit on the role of Navajo Code Talkers in WWII featuring an opening night presentation by the grandson of one the original Code Talkers. It’s at the closest UNM branch, only about an hour outside of Roswell.

“Thanks?” Alex isn’t sure what Michael’s intent is.

“Come on, I can be thoughtful,” Michael responds playfully, bumping Alex’s shoulder as they exit the bunker.

“Sometimes,” Alex concedes, knowing how true it is. As the mysteries surrounding Jones multiply, Michael has been the voice of reason with his sibling - handling Max’s mood swings as he deals with losing Liz and discovering a possibly evil version of himself without reacting to them, supporting Isobel when she feels overwhelmed with Max’s issues. Alex considers himself lucky if Michael wants to extend his thoughtfulness to him.

Michael is right, Forrest is thrilled when Alex asks him about going to the opening night of the exhibit. He takes notes during the presentation and carefully studies each piece in the exhibit, filling Alex in when there is overlap in the research he’s been doing.

Alex follows along quietly. He’s almost overwhelmed by the amount of information, things he knows should already be familiar to him. Alex can’t help thinking about the family and history he’d lost when his mother left and he’s never been brave enough to reclaim. Part of him wishes he were here with Greg, and he wonders if Greg would come another night if Alex asked him.

“Are you ok?” Forrest asks, placing his hand on Alex’s arm to get his attention.

Alex attempts a smile, “It’s just there is so much information, and I wish it wasn’t all new to me. It makes me realize how much I’ve let that part of my heritage go. I was thinking about Greg, whether all this would feel familiar to him now. If he feels like a part of it now.”

“Is he the one who told you about this?”

“No,” Alex corrects him, although it is a logical assumption. “Michael gave me the flyer; he thought you might be interested in coming.”

“Alien guy,” Forrest brightens as he makes the connection.

Alex tried to hold back his smile at the nickname, but something must show on his face because Forrest’s expression dims.

“Oh,” he says softly. “Alien guy is also Song guy.”

There is no reason to deny it so Alex remains silent. He thinks about trying to explain, considers telling Forrest that he and Michael haven’t been together in years, but it’s not the whole truth, and he’s never been able to explain his relationship with Michael, even to himself. It feels wrong to even try, standing here surrounded by reminders of the courage and sacrifice of his ancestors when he’s never managed to find a way to talk about the man he’s loved for almost half his life.

“I guess we have more in common than just a love of the microfiche,” Forrest tries to joke, but it falls flat and they both know there isn’t anything left to say.

They leave shortly after and the ride home is long and silent. When Alex pulls into Forrest’s driveway, their relief is palpable, and they say goodbye quickly without an attempt at a kiss. It’s easier than it should be to let Forrest go. Alex enjoyed their dates, they’d made out a lot, even got each other off a few times, and while it wasn’t serious, Alex had thought it had the potential to be. But one mention of Michael, and he realizes he isn’t as ready to move on as he wants to be.

He doesn’t see Forrest again until the next open mic night a few weeks later. Even though he isn’t performing Alex is happy to support Maria and the event as an audience member. Forrest is the last performer before intermission, and he recites his poem without once looking at Alex. When he finishes, Alex claps politely before going to the bar for another drink.

Max is too busy to make much conversation so Alex doesn’t linger. On the way back to his table, he sees Michael and Forrest talking off to the side of the stage. Michael is speaking intently, leaning in with one hand on Forrest’s arm and the other gesturing around the bar. From what Alex can see Forrest is just listening; watching Michael with a combination of amusement and resignation.

Alex reminds himself that it’s none of his business and forces himself to continue back towards his table. He’s too far away to hear what Michael is saying anyway. A few minutes later, Michael sits heavily in the chair next to him, frustration evident on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks.

“Nothing,” Michael snaps before looking away and visibly forcing himself to relax. “Sorry, it’s just there’s a problem with the equipment I thought I had worked out-” he pauses to glare at Forrest, “but apparently I need to find another solution.”

Everything seems to be working just fine as far as Alex can tell, and Michael doesn’t seem to be in the mood to talk about it so Alex lets it go and focuses on bracing himself for the sheer volume of Bert’s upcoming performance.

2.

“I was hoping you could do me a favor,” Michael says as he steps out of the airstream and hands Alex another beer.

Max had left about ten minutes ago, and Alex had considered heading home as well, but Michael had offered another round of drinks so he stayed. “Sure,” he replies, figuring there is nothing Michael would ask for that he would refuse.

“You know those online classes I’ve been taking?” Michael pauses long enough for Alex to nod. “One of my professors mentioned his laptop got some crazy virus and the school’s IT department couldn’t fix it. I may have told him I knew someone who could look at it.”

“That’s fine,” Alex agrees. “Just set something up and let me know. You know my schedule.”

“Thanks, maybe this will get me some bonus points.”

Alex rolls his eyes even though Michael isn’t looking at him. “Considering how often you remind me that you’re a genius, I don’t think you need any help with your grade, but I’ll try not to make it worse.”

“I guess I’ll have to trust you to have my back,” Michael teases. “Unlike Sanders who I swear is trying to ruin my life.”

“What did he do now?” Alex asks as he settles more comfortably into his chair. He knows from experience he could be here a while once Michael gets going about Sanders.

“He doesn’t listen for one. There’s this form we have to fill out when we take a car in for service. A form he had long before I started working there I might add. If I forget one little check box I never hear the end of it. Do you know what he does when he takes a car in?” Michael leans forward as he gets into the story.

“No, but I guess you’ll tell me.”

“He sticks a note on it that says ‘fix me.’ A note, Alex, not even a sticky note, just a ripped off piece of an old yellow legal pad he actually tapes to the windshield,” Michael throws his hands up in the air. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Fix it,” Alex replies, laughing when Michael sputters indignantly. For all Michael’s complaining, Alex can hear the warmth in his voice when he talks about Sanders now. Michael’s always been loyal to Sanders, but Alex doesn’t think he ever understood that those feelings were returned until he learned about Sander’s connection to his mother and his reasons for helping Michael.

“You’re as bad as he is, thinking I can read minds and figure out what’s wrong with it. That’s Isobel’s deal, not mine.”

“I don’t think that works on cars,” Alex counters. “So what did you do?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

Michael hangs his head, “I fixed it.”

They both laugh, and Alex accepts another beer.

A week later a man approaches his booth when Alex is on his second cup of coffee at the Crashdown.

“Alex?”

The laptop he’s holding gives him away as the professor Alex has been waiting for. He’s younger than Alex expected, probably less than ten years older than Alex. His pressed jeans, button down shirt and casual blazer make him look like he stepped off every college brochure Alex remembers getting in the mail.

“Professor Taylor,” Alex smiles but doesn’t stand up.

“Yep, how’d you know?” When Alex looks pointedly at the laptop he’s clutching, he laughs and runs his free hand through his hair. “Right, please call me Ben. And you were easy to find. Michael told me to look for the best looking guy in the place.”

Alex quirks an eyebrow at him because that doesn’t sound like something Michael would say.

“Well, he told me you would be the guy who looks irritated by life because he’s on his third cup of coffee instead of drinking the milkshake he really wants, but I think my description stands.” He blushes slightly and that’s when Alex notices the rainbow and bisexual flag pins on his jacket. He wonders what else Michael said about him.

“That sounds more accurate, but this is only my second cup of coffee,” Alex reaches for the laptop. “Michael said you had a virus you can’t get rid of?”

Ben sits next to him in the booth instead of across the table. He opens the laptop and slides it over to Alex. “I promise it’s not from watching porn.”

Alex doesn’t even try to hide his smirk, “So it’s definitely from watching porn.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Ben winks at Alex.

“Right.” Alex starts working. Ben looks disappointed when Alex moves to the far side of the booth but he doesn’t follow.

Once Alex gets into the computer, he knows it will be a relatively easy fix. He asks Ben about the classes he teaches and his enthusiasm for his subject matter makes for pleasant background noise. He reminds Alex a bit of Forrest, only focused on engineering instead of history.

After he takes care of the virus, Alex installs a stronger protection software and strengthens the firewall settings. He hands the laptop back to Ben. “You’re all set. I don’t think it will happen again, but I definitely recommend having separate computers for work and,” Alex clears his throat, “your more personal pursuits.”

Alex lets his amusement show clearly on his face. And while Ben blushes a little, he doesn’t look away. Once his laptop is back in his bag he stands up, and waits to see if Alex will follow. When Alex remains seated, Ben leans against the table, and reaches for Alex’s hand.

“I can’t thank you enough. I have some research on here I really can’t afford to lose.” He shakes Alex's hand, holding on for longer than necessary and smiling warmly. “If I have any more problems, I know who to come to.”

“You shouldn’t,” Alex repeats as he pulls his hand free. “But just let Michael know if you do. He can always hook us up again.”

“Of course,” Ben’s smile falters slightly. “Well, thanks again.” He waves on his way out, stopping at the counter to pay for Alex’s next coffee.

Alex texts Michael to let him know how it went. He barely has time to set his phone down before Michael slides into the booth across from him.

“Were you waiting outside the door?” Alex asks, surprised at the speed of Michael’s arrival.

“Nope, just running some errands,” Michael holds his hands up, trying to look innocent. “That didn’t take very long.”

“Pretty simple fix, not much to do,” Alex shrugs.

“So are you meeting him again?”

“No, why would we? I told you I was able to take care of everything.” Michael is the one who suggested Alex look at the computer. He’s not sure why Michael seems so surprised he was able to fix it.

“You guys got along though, right?” Michael asks.

“I didn’t do anything to jeopardize your grade if that’s what you’re worried about. He should be completely satisfied with my work.”

Michael snorts loudly then tries to cover it up with a cough when the diners at the counter turn around to look at them.

“Anyway,” Alex glares at Michael. “He was nice, and I told him he could let you know if he had any more problems.” “Huh,” Michael leans back in the booth. “I guess that’s that.”

Before Alex can ask what he means, Javier finally comes over with the refill for Alex, and they decide to order lunch. Burgers and fries for both of them, and while Alex drinks the coffee Ben bought him, Michael orders a milkshake. When their food comes, Michael slides his milkshake to the middle of the table so Alex can dip his fries in it.

3.

When Alex walks into the Wild Pony he doesn’t see Michael straight away, so he heads to the bar. Maria looks busy but he catches Max’s eye and holds up two fingers, knowing Max is familiar enough with what he and Michael drink to take it from there.

Instead of delivering the drinks Max waves him over and when Alex reaches him he’s surprised to see three bottles on the bar. “Hey, you remember Danny Price, right?”

Alex shakes his head, the way Max is trying too hard to appear casual already setting him on edge.

“He was a few years ahead of us in school - he graduated with one of your brothers.” When it becomes clear Alex still has no idea who he is talking about, Max sighs. “Well, I guess he just moved back to Roswell, and Michael brought him in tonight.” Max points to a table in the back.

Michael is leaning forward in his chair, talking animatedly to a man who looks completely out of place in the Pony. He’s wearing what looks like an expensive suit and is sitting stiffly across the table from Michael. Alex reluctantly takes the beers and heads in that direction. He’s not sure why Michael would have invited him for a drink without telling him he was bringing someone else.

“Hey,” he sets the bottles on the table and tries to give Michael a questioning look, but Michael avoids his eyes.

“Alex,” he greets him with exaggerated cheer. “You remember Danny?”

The other man scowls at Michael and immediately corrects him, “It’s Daniel.”

“Alex Manes, nice to meet you,” he shakes Daniel’s hand, not bothering to pretend he remembers him at all.

“Pleasure,” Daniel replies coolly, quickly pulling his hand away and dropping it into his lap. He completely ignores the bottle Alex places in front of him.

Alex sits next to Michael and kicks him under the table. This is not the relaxing night he had in mind.

“So Daniel,” Michael emphasizes his name, “just moved back to take over his family’s law firm. I gave him a tow today when he blew a tire out on the highway. Thought I’d show him around a bit, get him caught up on the social scene since his boyfriend decided not to make the move.”

Now Alex knows who he is, or at least who his father is. Daniel Price Sr. was the go to lawyer for people like the Longs and his father. He knew how to make things go away if you had enough influence and money to grease the wheels of justice. Alex had been forced to speak with him a few times when Jesse filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. He’d made a point of telling Alex how lucky he was that an important man like his father was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to ensure Alex was raised in a civilized environment. From the way Daniel is looking down his nose at the Pony, Alex expects he shares his father’s attitude.

“You’re a lawyer, as well?” Alex asks when Daniel doesn’t respond to Michael and the silence starts to become awkward.

“Yes, my father’s been after me to join the firm ever since his last associate was killed in an accident. I finally agreed,” Daniel doesn’t look happy about his decision.

At the mention of the dead associate, Alex shares a quick look with Michael, knowing Daniel must be referring to Isobel’s husband. But Michael doesn’t look concerned and with a quick shake of his head, he lets Alex know the connection is nothing to be concerned about. Roswell is a small town, if Noah was looking to cloak himself in prestige, he didn’t have many other options. Alex decides to accept Michael’s assessment of the risk, at least for now.

Michael turns to Alex, picking the conversation back up,, “I thought you could give him some tips on readjusting to life in Roswell. He’s used to being a big city lawyer, and you came back a war hero.”

Alex doesn’t even try to hide his reaction. He looks at Michael incredulously. Michael has never said a single positive thing about Alex’s time in the Air Force, let alone called him a hero.

“Maria needs me to look at something in the back so I’ll leave you two to talk,” Michael stands up and claps Alex on the shoulder, which feels more like he’s trying to hold Alex in place.

Alex glares at Michael as he walks away and then tries to school his expression into something more pleasant. It’s not Daniel’s fault Michael is acting like a completely different kind of pod person.

“Michael didn’t say where you relocated from,” Alex asks politely.

After several minutes of listening to Daniel drone on about his fabulous life in Chicago, Alex has finished his own beer and reaches unapologetically for the other one on the table. Daniel clearly isn’t going to drink it, and Alex feels he’s more than earned it. Initially he had tried to be sympathetic, but if Daniel really was the star of his high powered law firm and could afford a waterfront apartment and active social life, there is no reason to leave it all behind for a family law practice in Roswell. Alex finds himself thinking he should call the ex-boyfriend and congratulate him on ridding himself of this pompous asshole.

Mainly because he still has one beer left to drink, Alex makes a final attempt at conversation. “It’s definitely not Chicago, but I am sure you will find Roswell has its own appeal.”

The overture backfires, launching Daniel into a diatribe about Roswell’s isolation, lack of culture, poor economic outlook and even the Pony’s inadequate wine cellar. Alex is patient as long as he can be. He remembers his own bitterness and disappointment at finding himself back in the town he swore he’d left for good, and grudgingly admits some of Daniel’s complaints have merit.

“I am pleased - surprised but pleased - that some of the fine, upstanding families like the Longs haven’t abandoned this town. Considering how some of the more unsavory elements continue to flourish, their presence is all that is saving this town. I doubt without people like them and your father, my own family would still have a business worth passing down,” Daniel concludes with a condescending smile.

Alex reads that for the racist bullshit that it is. He smiles back, but there is nothing friendly about it. “You said you practiced corporate law in Chicago?” Daniel nods. “Well, I think you’ll find the Longs, Wyatt in particular, are more likely to keep you busy in criminal court. Might want to brush up on your defense skills.

Instead of being offended, Daniel looks pleased with himself. “I will be reminding the Sheriff of the important contributions the Longs make to this town and the consequences of ignoring those when faced with Wyatt’s more high spirited behavior. I am sure she will see the wisdom in restraint.”

And Alex is done. He stands up fast enough that his chair scrapes loudly across the floor, catching Max and Maria’s attention. “Looks like you’ll fit in just fine here as a small time, I mean small town, lawyer. I’ll have to thank Michael for allowing us to get reacquainted in case our paths cross again.”

Max waves him away apologetically when he heads to the bar to pay. Maria, on the other hand, takes one look at his face and starts laughing so hard she doesn’t see him flip her off on his way out the door. Michael’s truck isn’t in the parking lot, and Alex can’t help but feel relieved. He’d been expecting to spend a few hours with Michael drinking beer and talking, and instead been subjected to...whatever the hell that was. He’s more agitated than he was when he arrived and he’s not in the mood for whatever excuse Michael has. The next time Michael invites him for a drink, he’s going to make sure there aren’t any surprises. And Michael is paying.

4.

Alex watches Maria and Rosa belt out Don’t Speak from one of the tables Isobel reserved for the night. He normally avoids Thursday Karaoke nights at Planet 7, preferring somewhere less crowded and quieter after work, but he made an exception for Kyle’s birthday.

When one of the bartenders came over with another free birthday shot for Kyle, Michael sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. “The Valenti love fest is killing me. You think they’d know by now it's not going to get them laid.”

“It’s his birthday,” Alex shrugs. “Which you are here celebrating, I might add.”

“Isobel’s paying the tab tonight, can’t pass that up,” Michael holds up his own shot glass then lets out a cheer when Maria and Rosa transition to Say My Name. “Trust me, another year with Dr. Doolittle is nothing worth celebrating.

Alex shakes his head and turns his attention back to the stage. While Michael’s animosity toward Kyle may have faded, he never turns down a chance to insult him.

“Speaking of getting laid,” Michael nudges Alex to get his attention again. “I think that guy at the bar is eyeing you.”

Alex looks over at the bar to see who Michael is not so subtly pointing to. The only person paying attention to them is Trent, one of the regulars Forrest made a point of intruding Alex to months ago. When Trent notices Alex looking over at him, he winks and Alex doesn’t know whether to laugh or throw something at Michael. He’s too tired and too sober to deal with this tonight. It may have taken Alex a while to catch on, but he realizes Michael has been trying to set him up ever since he and Forrest broke up. Ben was a nice enough guy, and Alex could see why Michael thought they might click; Daniel was a clear miss, but this is a new low.

“Yes, Trent is eyeing me, and anyone else he thinks might give him fifty bucks for a bathroom blowjob.”

“What?” Michael stutters.

“You just tried to set me up with a hustler,” they both watch as another patron approaches Trent and after a short conversation, they walk toward the bathroom together.

“Sorry, I didn’t know,” Michael slumps back in his seat.

“Yeah, I get that,” Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. He’s not sure what it says about him that Michael thought his type would be someone in a mesh see-through tank top, ripped skin tight teal jeans, a cowboy hat and what might be a pair of boots made by the murder twins. Maybe Michael thinks he’s desperate enough that ‘likes guys’ and ‘breathing’ is his new standard, or maybe Michael is just that desperate to focus Alex’s interest on someone else. Either way, it’s not something Alex is prepared to confront tonight.

“Trent’s a nice kid,” Alex offers at Michael’s defeated look. “He’s using the money to help pay his undergrad tuition which means he’s about ten years younger than me. And there's no way you didn’t notice that.” Alex doesn’t wait for Michael to answer, before he stands up and decides to call it a night.

He catches Rosa and Maria as they are walking off the stage and hugs them both. He waves at the rest of the table before stepping up behind Kyle. “Happy Birthday. I’m going to head out, early morning on the base tomorrow,” he covers so that Kyle won’t try to persuade him to stay.

“Thanks for coming, man,” Kyle gives him a half hug, half handshake made even more awkward by his drunken clumsiness.

Alex passes Kyle off to Max and heads for the door. He can feel Michael’s eyes on him, but Michael doesn’t say anything or try to stop him so Alex heads home alone.

5.

Alex tries to listen to the speaker as they explain the importance of raising enough funds to support a domestic violence shelter in Roswell, but his attention keeps drifting to Michael. Other than those few minutes at Prom he’s never seen Michael in a suit, and he’s beautiful. No longer an adolescent trying to be comfortable in unfamiliar clothes, he wears the charcoal grey suit with confidence. No tie and shirt unbuttoned at the top, it’s elegant and Michael all at once.

But Michael doesn’t want that kind of attention from him, so he tries again to focus on the speaker. Normally he would have made a donation and avoided the fundraiser entirely, but Isobel had organized the event and purchased a table, handing out tickets and insisting attendance was mandatory.

Another woman comes to the stage and begins to explain how a shelter saved her life. Alex finds himself thinking about his mother, and what, if any, difference a safe place like this could have made in her life. He remembers so little of his parent’s relationship, but he can’t imagine it was healthy, and he can’t make himself believe his mother would have left them all behind if she had a choice.

As if sensing his thoughts, Maria places her hand on his arm and squeezes gently. He turns and smiles at her, grateful for her silent support. In an attempt to redirect his own thoughts he excuses himself to get another drink as soon as there is a break in the program. On his way to the bar, he sees Michael nudge Isobel who then heads over to another table, but he doesn’t give it much thought.

Alex takes his drink and steps off to the side, content to watch from a distance for a while. He’ll rejoin the table soon enough, but he needs a break to push the thoughts of his mother from his mind. He’s almost done with his drink when he notices another man approaching him. Alex doesn’t recognize him, but he is clearly on his way to speak to him.

“Captain Manes,” he holds out his hand and Alex shakes it automatically. “I was hoping to get a chance to talk to you tonight. Major Sam Whitmore,” he introduces himself. “Please call me Sam.”

“Alex,” Alex isn’t sure how to respond. Even out of uniform, Alex would have immediately recognized him as military. He looks to be about Clay’s age, some grey creeping into his blond hair, but his eyes are kind, and Alex doesn’t sense a threat from him.

“Isobel mentioned you would be here. She’s a friend of yours?”

“Hmm.” Alex is noncommittal, not willing to claim Isobel as a friend when he’s not sure why she mentioned him to Sam. “Mostly through her brother. You know her well?” He glances over at the table and sees Michael watching him while Isobel and another woman stand a few feet away also looking in their direction.

“Not well,” Sam admits. Sam gestures to the woman talking to Isobel. “My ex-wife is one of the board members, and she helped Isobel plan the event. I try to be supportive of her work when I can be.”

“That’s admirable.” His thoughts drift briefly to his mother again. There had been nothing admirable about how Jesse had erased her from their lives the moment she left.

“We were always friends, and we’ve managed to keep that connection even though we didn’t have children to keep us tied together. We were probably always meant to be friends, and I don’t know what I would do without her. She was able to accept that I was gay before I could.”

And now Alex understands what this is all about, but it isn’t Sam’s fault, so he smiles politely. “She sounds like a good friend to have.”

“She definitely deserved better than I gave her, but I didn’t know any other way to live. I came from a military family, and just followed the same path as everyone else in my family. Joined the Air Force, married my high school girlfriend and pretended it was enough.”

“Sometimes that’s the only way,” Alex agrees. For all his teenage rebellion, he’d ended up exactly where his father wanted him. Then he still let him down by coming back rather than dying a martyr to the Manes’ legacy.

“You and I have a lot in common. You know what it’s like to grow up with that pressure to fall in line, to serve. I can’t think of a single man in my family who wasn’t part of the military. In fact I think my father served with both your father and grandfather.”

Sam is still talking, but Alex can’t concentrate on what he’s saying. The idea that Sam could be connected to his family sends his thoughts spiraling. He’s already been thinking about his father, and another mention of him has Alex’s skin prickling like he’s being watched. What if there were more people involved in Project Shepherd? Alex was sure he buried Project Shepherd deep enough that it will never be found, but what if he missed something? With his attention focused elsewhere is it possible he’d missed something - some other threat to Michael he didn’t notice?Is Alex failing to protect him once again?

He looks back to the table, irrationally needing to see that Michael is still there and unharmed. Michael is there - still watching him. He’s frowning like he can tell Alex is upset. Alex forces himself to resume listening to Sam.

“So I thought we could get coffee or something, get to know each other better?”

“Sounds good,” Alex agrees while looking for somewhere to set his drink down. Between his father’s ghost and Michael’s attention, he feels like the air in the room is suffocating him. “Excuse me, I have to go.”

Alex quickly heads outside, not allowing himself to look back at Michael. Once he’s clear of the building, he loosens his tie and tries to slow his breathing. All he wants to do is go home, but he knows he’s not ready to drive and the lingering paranoia from Sam’s mention of his family leaves him on guard and needing to be close enough to protect Michael. So he sits on one of the benches surrounding a small pond and reminds himself that his father is dead. That Project Shepherd is gone. That Michael is safe.

Just as he’s worked through his fears - convinced himself they are unfounded and begun to relax - he feels a hand on his shoulder. He stands up and spins around quickly, ready for a fight. Of course it’s Micheal, and as relieved as he is to have visible proof that Michael is fine, he doesn’t want to face the other emotions Michael stirs in him. He wishes Michael hadn’t followed him, not with his latest attempt at matchmaking is still a bitter reminder of what Michael doesn’t want.

“Hey,” Michael says soothingly. “They’re about to serve dinner. You should come back in.” Michael steps back hesitantly and shoves his hands back in his pockets.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why, you’re not in the mood for overcooked chicken?” Michael smiles and jerks his head back toward the banquet hall. “It won’t be that bad. Isobel swears the potatoes are to die for.”

Alex ignores his attempt at levity, angry that Michael is still pushing this. “What I’m not in the mood for is finding Major Whitmore in the empty chair at our table. You’ll have to be the one to tell Isobel she wasted her time orchestrating this meeting. Although I have a feeling it was your idea.”

“Come on Alex, it wasn’t like that,” Michael winces a little at Alex's directness.

“Michael,” Alex sighs and sits back down, suddenly tired of all of this. “We need to stop dancing around this. It’s just hurting both of us. I know it’s hurting me.”

Michael looks down for a moment before meeting Alex’s eyes, somehow both apologetic and defiant in the face of Alex’s admission. “Isobel really wanted everyone here; she’s proud of this event. But when she told me about her friend’s ex-husband, I thought it would be a good chance for you to meet someone. That’s all.”

“And what about the rest of them? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve tried to set me up.” Now that Alex has asked the question, he’s not going to let Michael avoid telling him the truth.

“I just want you to be happy, Alex. You tried to help me out with Maria - more than once she told me. And I tried to fix things with Forrest, but when that didn’t work out, I got creative,” Michael shrugs.

“This goes back to Forrest, Jesus,” Alex swears. He remembers Michael’s animated conversation with Forrest at open mic night and is embarrassed just imagining what Michael might have said in the effort to get Forrest to give him another chance. “What were you thinking?”

“You helped with Maria,” Michael repeats as if that explains anything.

“I talked to Maria because the two people I loved most in the world were falling in love with each other. You could have made each other so happy and everyone could see that. How could I not encourage the two of you to be happy together?”

Alex had never considered anything but helping Maria when she had doubts about Michael. Maybe it didn’t make sense to anyone else, but he understood when Michael told him he wanted something good, that he wanted to be good for someone - and that someone was Maria. He just wanted to help her understand. He knew they gave each other something he could never provide, and it blunted some of the pain of his own failure with Michael to see their happiness. “What you did wasn’t the same thing at all. You’ve been throwing random men in my path and hoping one would stick. That doesn’t feel like caring, Michael, it feels like you are trying to get rid of me.”

“Alex, no,” Michael protests, looking upset.

“I get it, but it needs to stop. I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. I thought I was respecting your wishes and controlling my feelings,” Alex laughs bitterly and runs a hand through his hair. “But you make it so hard. We’ve never spent so much time together, and I keep seeing all these different sides of you. The way your mind works faster than anyone else’s, the way you’re trying to meet Max in the middle, how you tease Sanders, but always come through for him, the way you explain things to Kyle using twice as many technical terms as needed, half of which I know you made up, just so he has to ask you to explain it again. And I keep falling in love with you again.

Alex looks over at Michael not sure what reaction he’s expecting, but Michael is just standing there, frozen in place, so Alex keeps talking. “I’m going to keep my distance for a while because if this is your way of forcing me to move on, it’s not going to work.”

“I really fucked this up, didn’t I,” Michael shakes off his surprise and sits down next to Alex, looking as frustrated as Alex feels. “I was trying to help with Forrest. I thought it would - I don’t know - even us out after what you did with Maria, that I owed you that chance at happiness.”

“That’s not what I want,” Alex never wants anything from Michael out of obligation. And he certainly doesn’t want Michael thinking he needs to find Alex some kind of replacement.

“I think it could have worked between you and my professor. He seems like a good guy - smart, handsome, but the day you two met up, I panicked. I parked across the street from the Crashdown before he got there. I couldn’t see you so I just sat there imagining the two of you talking and flirting and dreading the moment you walked out together holding hands.”

Alex can’t help but laugh a little. “You think I move that fast?”

“Never said I was being rational,” Michael smiles, but quickly sobers. “I felt like shit for being relieved when you told me you weren’t meeting him again. That should have been the end of it, but apparently guilt makes me stubborn so I felt like I had to keep trying. But I wasn’t trying very hard.”

“I was starting to wonder what you thought of me when I realized you were trying to set me up and your choices were Daniel and Trent.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael apologizes, looking embarrassed. “After that night at Planet 7, I knew I screwed up.” Michael looks at him. “Tonight. I told myself tonight was real - not another half-hearted attempt. But I know that a guy in the military with a family like yours isn’t what you want. I get what it looks like, Alex, but I’m not trying to get rid of you. It’s just - I saw how hard you were trying with Forrest. That you wanted a relationship that could be open and happy and I want that for you.”

“Maybe that is what you were trying to do, but I still need you to stop,” Alex says. Knowing Michael’s motivations should make him feel better, but it doesn’t. No matter the reason, Michael still wants him to be with someone else. “You’re not completely wrong,” he continues because at this point there’s no reason to be anything but honest. “I was trying with Forrest, but the reason it didn’t work is that we both realized that open, happy relationship I wanted? I want it with you.”

Alex braces himself for Michael’s reaction. Admitting he still wants a relationship with Michael is blunter than saying he loves him. Michael has made it clear he doesn’t want to be with Alex. He doesn’t know if Michael will be angry that Alex can’t let it go, or understanding and kind. Alex isn’t sure which reaction he dreads more. But Michael surprises him by laughing, open and incredulous.

He takes Alex hand, “You weren’t listening when I told about my reaction to realizing you and the professor might actually work out, were you? My first attempt at matchmaking, and I’ve never wanted to fail so much in my life. You aren’t the only one who keeps falling in love, Alex.”

Alex makes a sound of disbelief and tries to pull his hand back, but Michael holds tight.

“I used to have all these dreams for us, you remember?” Michael waits for his reaction, continuing once he nods. “I thought I knew exactly who we would be together. And for a long time. I was angry at you for changing. You joined the Air Force, and every time I saw you, you were further and further from who I thought you would be when I imagined us together. Seeing that was like losing another piece of those dreams every time, and it made me look at how I was never going to be the person I dreamed of either. It took me a long time to figure out that even if all my dreams came true - if we stayed together,got out of Roswell together - we still would have been different than I imagined. And when I finally let go of those dreams, I thought that meant letting go of you. Of us.”

Alex looks away. He remembers how painful it was to finally accept that he and Michael were never going to have the future they planned in whispers in the back of Michael’s truck. But even saying goodbye to all of that hadn’t been enough to force Michael out of his heart.

“Hey,” Michael says softly, pulling Alex’s attention back to him. “As much as that hurt, it left me free to fall in love with who you are now. I didn’t even realize it was happening, but eventually when I thought about loving you, it wasn’t past tense, it wasn’t some idealized version of you, but the guy sitting next to me doing everything he can to protect me and making me laugh and listening to me.”

Michael pauses, but Alex feels as frozen as Michael was earlier, unable to react. When Michael starts speaking again he rubs his thumb over the back of Alex’s hand, and the soothing motion gives Alex something to focus on besides the almost painful honesty of Michael’s words. He watches the slide of Michael’s skin against his and lets it ground him as he listens to Michael. “I still see glimpses of him sometimes, the boy I fell in love with, the one who loved music and loved me and made me feel like I belonged here and gave me hope. And I still love him, but I don’t need him anymore. I want to make new dreams with you, now, tonight.”

Overwhelmed by the love he sees in Michael’s eyes, Alex tries and fails to blink back the tears filling his own eyes. He’s been on edge all night, battling memories and fears, then facing the anger and hurt he’s felt ever since he realized Michael was trying to set him up. To have it end like this, with honesty and hope, maybe love, feels like too much.

Michael brushes away the tears with his thumbs. He cradles Alex’s face gently in his hands, and meets his eyes, silently asking permission. When Alex nods, the most beautiful smile graces Michael’s face, Alex catches just a glimpse of it before bringing Alex’s face in so that he can kiss away the tracks the tears have left behind. Then Michael’s lips meet his. The kiss is soft and sweet, and Alex feels so loved it almost hurts. He lets it fill him, pushing his insecurities away.

After they pull back, Alex rests his head on Michael's shoulder, pressing his face into his neck and breathing in the scent of rain and whiskey and oil, the scent of Michael. Michael runs his hands down Alex’s back and presses gentle kisses into his hair. When it stops feeling so overwhelming, so much like a dream that will slip through his fingers, Alex looks up and kisses Michael’s cheek, just catching the corner of his mouth. He stays there, letting his lip catch on the corner of Michael’s smile and savoring the closeness he’s been craving.

Michael turns into the kiss, and it lingers, hot and open mouthed this time, until he finally breaks away looking entirely too pleased with himself. “The way I see it we have two choices. We can go back in there and make sure everyone knows you’re taken. Or I can follow you home and we can talk some more, hold each other and maybe do some of those things we’ve both been pretending we don’t want.”

“Home,” Alex immediately seizes on the idea of having Michael in his house where they can have some time to themselves. “Home sounds good.”

“And since I doubt we'll get much sleep,” Michael looks at Alex suggestively. “We can go to the Crashdown for breakfast. Or maybe lunch. You can lend me some clothes or I will proudly do the walk of shame in this suit.”

Alex sees a little of Michael’s confidence falter as he mentions going out together, and he doesn’t want that. “If you put that suit back on,” he lightly traces his finger along the exposed skin the open collar shows off, smiling when Michael shivers. “I won’t be able to let you out of the house, so I’ll find you something to wear.”

“So what are we waiting for?” Michael asks as he stands up.

“Nothing,” Alex replies as he lets Michael pull him to his feet and they walk to the parking lot together, hands still joined.

+1

Michael finalizes the hotel reservations with an excited “Yes,” loud enough to startle Bailey who was laying across his feet. Michael pats her head in apology.

He can’t wait to tell Alex. Ever since he saw Alex looking at the website for an independent music festival in Austin, Michael’s wanted to find a way for them to go. Now that Jones is dead or ascended - Michael isn’t sure which and doesn’t really care - he and Alex aren’t pulling double duty with work and yet another alien investigation. The peace probably won’t last long so he wants to get away while they can.

The music festival is the perfect excuse. Michael’s never heard of any of the bands playing, but he knows that’s not the point. In addition to the concerts, there are plenty of other events going on - and enough amateur open mic nights that it’s worth driving so they can bring Alex’s guitar, and not have to deal with airports.

His phone alerts him to the email confirmation of his hotel reservation. The Austin Proper Hotel is probably too fancy for him or Alex, but he’d fallen in love with finding a place that had the adaptations Alex needed without being utilitarian. He had a feeling they would be spending a lot of time enjoying all the amenities the tub and shower promised. The spa and emphasis on tequila were also big selling points. If he was going to spoil Alex, he was going to do it right. And Austin was queer friendly enough that he hadn’t hesitated to tell the hotel staff about his plans and ask for recommendations.

Michael wishes this is something he could have done sooner. It amazes him how much more relaxed Alex is whenever they leave Roswell even if it is just for a few hours. The first time they went to Albuquerque, Michael had been surprised at how quick Alex was to hold his hand and kiss him without checking his surroundings first. Outside of Roswell, where Alex still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, he finally felt comfortable being himself, he explained to Michael, and that included showing Michael the affection he’d always felt. Michael couldn’t wait to have days of Alex’s undivided attention.

Now he just has to convince Alex that taking an actual vacation is a good idea. Michael mentally runs through all the objections Alex might have. Alex has more than enough leave time available and will be giving enough notice to use it. Sanders can live without Michael for a week or two, hell the old man will probably just shut the place down and take his own vacation.

“You want to stay with Max and Jamison for a few days?” Michael asks Bailey.

Her ears perk up at the mention of her brother’s name, hoping for a playdate, and Michael laughs, “Not today.”

Max will be happy to take Bailey while they are gone, she’d even lived with him for a few days after Max found the two dogs outside the Pony. Then she’d taken one look at Alex and fallen in love, a sentiment Michael more than understood. Seeing Alex with a lapful of dog sealed the deal, and Bailey came home with them.

Isobel can take care of the house. She lives close enough to stop by and get the mail and take care of the plants. Of course, they’ll have to lock a few things up to counteract her natural nosiness.

The biggest challenge will be convincing Alex that he deserves to take some time off and relax. This is the first time in longer than Michael can remember that there wasn’t some crisis looming, and Michael wants to take advantage before something else goes wrong.

He waits until Alex is home and has had time to change before broaching the subject. They are sitting on the patio, throwing a ball for Bailey when he brings it up.

“I was thinking we should go away for a while, take a vacation,” Michael begins, mentally marshaling all his arguments for Alex’s objection.

“Yes,” Alex says immediately, and Michael watches the way his whole body relaxes just thinking about it.

Michael realizes they’d been dealing with Jones for so long he’d gotten used to seeing Alex stressed and tense. He can see now just how tired Alex is.

“I may have already planned something,” Michael admits. He gets up and plans to show Alex the information he has on his phone, but Alex grabs his hand and pulls Michael down onto his lap.

“I don’t care, anywhere is fine as long as it’s with you.” Alex slides his hands under Michael’s shirt and urges him to lean down enough so they can kiss.

They make out like that for a while, the sun still warm against Michael’s back, Alex relaxed and solid in his arms. Bailey eventually tires of being ignored and drops the ball at their feet, barking for their attention.

Michael gives Alex one last kiss before reaching down and blindly throwing the ball. He turns around and watches her tear through the yard. Alex wraps his arm around Michael’s waist, anchoring him as he leans back against Alex’s chest. He can’t wait to have Alex all to himself. He lets his mind drift to all the things he wants to do, and eventually to his final surprise - the rings he’ll hide in his bag. As excited as Michael is about going on vacation with Alex, he’s even more excited about coming home with his husband.

[skippydiesposting]

yes, of course there are absolutely fanfictions that employ the elements of literary fiction like character development, complex plots and foreshadowing. there are also plenty of published books that do not (and they usually suffer for it). there are well-written fanfictions, and there are horrible published novels.

however, I think we all know that that's not what most people are coming to fanfiction for. (and if you are, that's a pretty weird place to look for it.) strong characterization and well-written prose aren't things that are exemplitive of the genre of fanfiction.

honestly sometimes it feels like such an "the emperor has no clothes" situation to me. people are always so quick to defend fanfiction while ignoring the obvious reality that the vast, vast majority of fanfictions are smut and shipping content. there's nothing wrong with that but it's true. most fanfiction content is not well thought-out, elaborately plotted, and focused on developing new characters. that's not the point of fanfiction, in general. and if that isn't true in your fandom, that's amazing because that's something I've literally never seen. (and also, I would argue, the people writing those kinds of fanfiction would be better off writing an original work of fiction.)

in general, fanfiction by definition is using characters from a previous franchise. the character is already established, therefore the amount of character development you can enact is minimal. if it isn't minimal: congratulations, you've created an OC. you are no longer writing fanfiction. (hence why I respect fanfiction about OCs and 2nd gen characters a lot more but that's a different post)

fanfiction writers don't have to think about the flow of their plot in the way that authors of novels do. they don't have to think about how to introduce a character properly, or the overall scope of their story, or how it will be interpreted by the general public. they can, of course, but this is still ultimately going to be a different form than literary novels, because their goals are entirely different.

also, just to be clear, this is all morally neutral. I'm not saying that one or the other is an inherently more or less valuable form of writing. I'm just saying that fanfiction is different than published literature, and that's just a fact. fanfiction has a different purpose and a different function. they are fundamentally different forms. and I'm tired of seeing them overlap in a way that is almost entirely dismissive of modern literary fiction.

there's no problem with fanfiction being a part of your media diet. it just cannot be the only thing you read if you want to be someone who is educated about the practice of reading and writing. I fully believe that if you are a writer, you need to be reading and you need to be reading a lot and you need to be reading things other than just fanfiction. you need to be diversifying your scope of media consumption as much as possible. there is so much more out there.

like at the end of the day fanfiction is underground amateur writing, which is awesome. it's so cool that people can make and share their craft without having to jump through the hoops of publication. I just feel like a lot of very cool, indie/amateur/underground artists outside of fandom culture get handwaved in favor of fanfiction and other fanworks.

and there is no problem with using something you like as a jumping off point for your writing; established works of fiction get re-used and re-appropriated and re-constructed all the time. it just sucks that this energy that's being put into little known creators has to be funnelled through fandom culture to get attention. especially when the vast majority of fanfiction is also going to be based on massive franchises like Marvel, Disney, Star Wars, Harry Potter, et cetera, which do not need to be any more prominent in our culture. (especially if you're trying to build an inclusive, creative, indie/punk/queer/et cetera culture, which is something it seems like most of the fanfiction writers/readers want.) no matter how you twist the narratives and characters, bringing more attention to those huge conglomerates is never going to be subversive.

all I'm saying is that the entirety of the art that you make and consume should not necessarily be tied to fandom culture. and on a more personal note, I just despise that reading and writing has been co-opted by fandom. I'm so tired of seeing people who ostensibly have the same interests as me, when really there are very few similarities between the content that exclusive fanfiction-readers read and exclusive book-readers read.

one is not inherently better than the other! they have different cultural values! I'm just saying that you can't call yourself a fan of reading and literature if you refuse to interact with the actual culture of it. someone who exclusively reads fanfiction will never know what the actual literary world is like. the same way that you wouldn't consider someone who exclusively watches Marvel and Disney movies to be educated about cinema in general.

my point is that if you exclusively read fanfiction, you're not going to know very much about literary fiction, (and vice versa) because the two are fundamentally different forms trying to accomplish different things.

ughhh okay hot take incoming but it's so annoying to me that every single time there's a post that's like "read more books reading books is good for you" there has to be that person in the notes like "but fanfiction counts too right????"

no!!!! that's exactly the opposite of the point! like there's no problem with reading fanfiction but reading exclusively fanfiction is not something you should be proud of. by reading only fanfiction you are excluding yourself from so many of the best parts of literature: character development, structured plots with an end goal, foreshadowing, the connection to the author's life...not even to mention, like, cultural relevance and the value of reading something that has been professionally edited. it's not especially clear to me that someone who reads only fanfiction can be said to actually enjoy reading since so many of the elements that make literature what it is have been stripped out of it. like if you're so entrenched in the emotional gratification of fanfiction that you can't bear to read a real, published novel, then I don't think you have very good chance of being someone who knows how to critically analyze and understand media.

like fanfiction is not morally wrong or anything like that but it's a fundamentally different thing than reading an edited, published book. they have such different goals that they are not equivalent to compare.

[baya-ni]

SHADOW’s Queer Coding

I first started exploring this idea of Sk8′s implicit queer rep (as in stuff other than explicit same sex intimacy) in this post.

I know we like to joke that Hiromi is the Token Straight of the protag gang, but I argue that he’s as much an example of queer rep as any of our main characters, albeit in a less conventional and fanservicey way.

So that’s what this post is gonna be, an analysis of Hiromi/SHADOW as a queer figure, how his character fits the Jekyll/Hyde archetype as a metaphor for queerness and The Closet, the similarities between SHADOW as a skatesona and early drag, and how his character represents a larger problem of exclusion within queer fandom spaces.

The 1886 Gothic novella The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson is the origin of the phrase “Jekyll and Hyde”. What I’m calling the Jekyll/Hyde archetype, refers to the same thing; it refers to duality, to a character who is “outwardly good but sometimes shockingly evil” (as described from the novella’s wiki page).

And the Jekyll/Hyde dynamic has also long been associated with Queerness. The antagonism between Jekyll and Hyde as two sides of the same person resonates with many people as similar to the experience being in the closet, and many many scholars have written about this queer reading of Jekyll and Hyde. Do a quick google search if you don’t believe me.

Hiromi experiences his own Jekyll/Hyde duality through his SHADOW persona, which seems to entirely contradict with Hiromi’s day to day personality.

Whilst Hiromi is sweet, romantic, and generally very cutesy, SHADOW is mean-spirited, sadistic, described as “the anti-hero of the S community.”  And though these two personalities seem entirely at odds, SHADOW doesn’t exist in a vacuum, he’s very much a part of Hiromi. In the show, this manifests as SHADOW’s sabotage moves being all flower themed, as Hiromi works in a flower shop, and how he’ll “step out” of character when playing babysitter to the kids.

Below is passage from an essay titled, “The Homoerotic Architectures of Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” which reminds me a lot of Hiromi’s character, such that I think his character arc can be read as an allegory for coming out and self acceptance.

The closet, here, is a space not only for secrecy and repression, but also for becoming; it is the space in which queer identities build themselves up from “disused pieces” and attempt to discover the strength needed for presentation to the world. The closet is both a space of profound fear and profound courage—of potentiality and actualization. (Prologue)

Unlike the kid/teen characters, the show’s adult characters all lead double lives. When they aren’t skating, they have day jobs. Kaoru is a calligrapher, Kojiro is a restaurant owner, Ainosuke is a politician/businessman (but tbh his job is just being some rich dude), and Hiromi works in a flower shop.

But of the adult protagonists (so not Ainosuke), Hiromi compartmentalizes the most.

Kojiro leaves his face totally exposed such that he can be recognized both on and off the skate scene. Kaoru at least covers his face, but his trademark pink hair and constant use of Carla doesn’t make it very hard to connect the dots between him and CHERRY. He’s also always with Kojiro in the evenings, so if you don’t recognize him as CHERRY when he’s on his own, you certainly will when you see him interacting with Kojiro/JOE.

Next to these two, Hiromi seems the more adamant at separating his Work from Play.

Even when he’s been clearly found it, he still tries to deny that he and SHADOW are the same person. Miya even uses this to coerce Hiromi into helping him and the boys:

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the separation between Hiromi and SHADOW can be interpreted as a metaphor for being in The Closet. As SHADOW, he leads a secret life, one characterized by an tight-knit underground community with a vibrant night scene, where he behaves in ways typically frowned upon by larger society. He worries about being found out and judged by the people close to him.

But in Ep 4, the walls of his Closet begins to come down, or in this case is literally imposed upon by other members of his community, by its younger members, who don’t feel the same need to hide their passion for skateboarding or lead the same kind of double life.

We then see the line between Hiromi and SHADOW begin to blur.

He becomes less of an antagonist, and instead the audience sees him become a mentor and “mother hen” figure for the younger skaters. Later on in Ep 4, we see him casually interacting with the other protags in full SHADOW mode, not as an “anti-hero” but as a friend.  In Ep 6, he acts as a babysitter for the kids, and we see him totally comfortable appearing both in an out of his SHADOW persona throughout their vacation.

And I think that this gradual convergence of Hiromi and SHADOW will culminate in this tournament arc.

There’s something more personal that’s driving SHADOW to do well in this tournament. It’s not just for bragging rights or his pride as a skater, but the results of this tournament is going to have some kind of greater impact on Hiromi’s personal life. Personally, my theory is that Hiromi is using this tournament to prove to himself that he’s worthy enough to ask his manager out on a date.

Hiromi is no longer compartmentalizing, his two lives are overlapping and influencing each other. Recall the essay quote I cited earlier:

The closet... is the space in which queer identities build themselves up from “disused pieces” and attempt to discover the strength needed for presentation to the world... of potentiality and actualization.

This is exactly the case for Hiromi. Through skating, he is piecing together the disparate parts of him such that he can present himself to the world as a more unified and confident being.

And the show presents the very skating community that Hiromi has been working so hard to keep separated from his personal life- Reki, Langa, Miya, Kaoru, and Kojiro- as the catalyst for that becoming.

That, my dear readers, is queer coding if I ever saw it.

But there’s probably gonna be people claiming something along the lines of “But SHADOW can’t be queer rep because he’s Straight!” And I assume that’s because he shows romantic interest in his female manager.

First of all, Bisexuality. Also Ace/aro-spec people. And second of all, SHADOW is Hiromi’s drag persona.

And before anyone can say anything about how Hiromi can’t do drag because he’s straight (assumption) and cis (also an assumption) uhhhh no, fuck you.

Drag didn’t start with RuPaul’s Drag Race, that’s just how it got mainstream. And it’s also how it got so gentrified and transphobic. You heard me. But anyway.

Drag is, and has always been, first and foremost about exaggerated, and oftentimes satirical, gender presentation and performance. It’s about playing with gender norms through artistic dress and theater, not so much to do with sexuality or gender identity.

Literally, what’s the difference here?

SHADOW is a persona of exaggerated masculinity with a punk aesthetic. Regardless of his sexuality or gender identity, Hiromi’s gender performance as SHADOW is drag- that makes him queer representation, change my fucking mind.

Queerness is more than same-sex romance, and by extension, good queer representation is not limited to canonized gay ships. The very word Queer, in it’s ambiguity, is meant to encompass the richly unique experiences of everyone within the LGBTQ+ community.

In my opinion, Queer =/= Gay. I mean, they’re colloquially the same yes and even I use them interchangeably. But for the purpose of this post, they’re not the same, and that’s to argue that Hiromi/SHADOW’s lack of acknowledgement as queer rep illustrates a larger issue of exclusion within fandom.

I mean, this is something we all kinda been knew, but in the case of Sk8 specifically, there are a two main reasons why I think Hiromi is rarely acknowledged as queer rep.

1. He’s not shippable with another male character

Fandom favors mlm ships when it comes to what’s considered good queer rep. And the ultimate mark of good queer rep is explicit acts of romance or intimacy between two male characters. Unlike with any of the other characters in the show, we can’t point to Hiromi and automatically clock him as gay, especially because he expresses romantic interest in a woman.

So by default, he’s less popular, because “Ew Straight People” amirite /s.

2. He’s not attractive

This is really interesting, because like JOE, Hiromi is a beefcake.

But fans don’t thirst over him the same way they do over JOE. Granted, the show really plays up JOE’s muscles in a very strip-teasey way that literally encourages viewers to find him attractive. By contrast, Hiromi is pretty much covered head to toe and he paints his face in theatrical makeup- the point is to look scary, not attractive.

In essence, even though Hiromi engages in “queer behavior” through his SHADOW persona, his queerness isn’t palatable.

But I also think there’s some pretty insidious undercurrents of fetishization going on here, of both Asian people AND gay men. Which is... a whole other thing I really don’t have the capacity to unpack completely.

But basically, Hiromi doesn’t fit into any of the popular BL archetypes so he’s less likely to recognized as Queer. Relatedly, he’s also less often subjected to a fetishistic gaze as other characters. I mean...

So again, fans just don’t find him as appealing. Attractive characters are always more popular than ugly ones.

And I’m sure there are a lot of people who just don’t care for Hiromi’s personality, that’s fine, he does act like an asshole sometimes. But this post is meant to illustrate that queer rep takes multiple forms, and unfortunately I think a lot of media just tends to fall back on stereotypical portrayals of queer people for the sake of broader appeal. And by consequence, the fandom’s idea of what constitutes queer rep narrows to same-sex romance, usually between two cis gay men.

With the release of Ep 9, I know a lot of people queer people are going to find representation in the Kojiro’s whole “unrequited love” thing. But personally, I feel more represented by Hiromi, his journey of self-acceptance and subversive relationship with gender- that’s what resonates with me as a trans person.

And I think it’s important to see that kind of less palatable type of queer representation more acknowledged in fandom, and in Sk8′s fandom especially, because I know the demographics of this fandom lean heavily queer.

But that’s all for now, lemme know what you guys think :)

[x0401x]

Febri Talk Interview with Jin (Complete)

Commissioned by the lovely @sodasexual​ again!

Part 1: overwhelmed by the power of friendship in “The☆Doraemons: Kaitou Dorapan no Chousenjou!”

Musician and creator Jin has been bringing countless topical works to the world, including “Kagerou Project”. In the first part of this serial interview, we had him talk about a work from the series “The☆Doraemons”, which he experienced in his childhood and continued to be influenced by for a long time.

A work that unexpectedly became one of the origins of “Kagerou Project”.

——Jin-san, we would like to ask you about anime shows that have had an influence on you, following in order from your infancy onwards, so would the first one be “The☆Doraemons: Kaitou Dorapan no Chousenjou!” (hereon, “The☆Doraemons”), which came out in the year 1997?

Jin: That’s right. I watched this one in the theaters when I was either 7 or 8 years old. It’s an animation short that was screened together with “Doraemon: Nobita no Neji-maki Toshi Bounen-ki”, and it had one hell of an impact on me. At the time, I was living in an isolated island in Hokkaido called Rishiri Island, so just getting to watch a movie was quite a spectacle in itself (laughs). Actually, not many animes were broadcasted in Rishiri Island to begin with. There were few channels, and other than that, they aired those black-and-white period dramas in cable TV, I guess.

——No, I think that last one is a stretch (laughs). Did you watch “Doraemon” because you liked it from the start?

Jin: I liked it a lot. But the so-called “The☆Doraemons” is a spin-off about six friends of different colors. If I were to talk about the contents of “Kaitou Dorapan” in a summarized way, it’s the story of the Doraemons receiving a letter of challenge from an mysterious enemy called Dorapan, then completely getting caught into his trap and falling into a pinch... And, surprisingly, Doraemon isn’t active at all in this movie (laughs).

——Aah, it’s a work where the Doraemon friends are the main characters, right?

Jin: That’s right. A duo that didn’t have much popularity among the friends, Dora-med III and Dora-rinho, were set as the main characters in this one (laughs). Of course, I didn’t go watch it thinking that Doraemon would participate actively, but he almost doesn’t do anything. Instead, we were shown these two, who are something like sub-characters, in a big scuffle. But when it ended, I began to really like Dora-med III and Dora-rinho.

——Ahaha. So you totally got into it.

Jin: They had something called a “Friendship Telephone Card”, which was introduced as a key item, and this “friendship” thing made the back of my nose sting – that was the kind of feeling I got from it. Dorapan, the one who plays the role of villain in this movie, attempts to take control of robots from all over the world using the power of the Doraemons’ Friendship Telephone Card. However, there’s actually a mastermind behind the scenes, and one heroine is taken hostage, so Dorapan is doing bad deeds because he has no choice. We find this out in the middle of the movie, and at that moment, Dora-rinho goes, “I see; so that’s what was going on” and voluntarily tries to sacrifice himself. By believing in self-sacrificing friendship, everyone was able to reach a happy ending. That kind of storyline was truly wonderful... To tell you the truth, the initial motif of Kagerou Project (hereon “KagePro”) was this movie.

Making KagePro out of wanting to create his own “Doraemons”.

——Eeh, is that so!?

Jin: I created KagePro because I wanted to write about friendship, or rather, I wanted to make my own “Doraemons”. I started KagePro when I was about 20 years old, as I was vaguely beginning to realize that friendship apparently doesn’t exist at that point in life (laughs). Also, same goes to music, of course, but among the books I was reading back then, quite a lot of them had cynical views. Although these stories were my own taste, I also had the impression that there was a generational trend in them, like “people shouldn’t look at this if they’re dumb” and “those who understand this thing are admirable”. Therefore, I did my best to pretend to be like that at first, but I gradually grew tired of it...

——Ahaha. You were getting out of breath.

Jin: That’s right. So, when I looked back, I thought, “I do like ‘Kaitou Dorapan’ after all”. Therefore, if I was going to make something by myself, I decided to use it as the theme. In that sense, amongst the things I watched in my childhood, this work was a turning point. After watching it in the theater for the first time, I watched it over and over again as rental video, and because of this, I even now remember the moments when the sound effects come in.

——Generation-wise, you’re precisely from the generation of “The☆Doraemons”.

Jin: Yeah, spot-on. Also, the Doraemons from “The☆Doraemons” are comical and cute, but on the other hand, they show us that they are extremely strong-willed characters. Moreover, the Doraemons are rich in individuality – as in, everyone is irregular and there are some characters that make you go, “Isn’t that a problem?” amongst them. For example, the wolf Dora-nichov can’t speak human language (laughs).

——I see! Thinking that way, I feel like I can see the points in common with KagePro.

Jin: Also, all of them are purely good guys. The fact that they’re all good people and only have one enemy is pretty awesome. I believe that this kind of thing has an influence on the KagePro series as a whole.

Part 2: paralyzed by the hardboiled worldview of “Cowboy Bebop”.

In the second part of this interview series, where we ask Jin about anime works that influenced him, we have “Cowboy Bebop”, a masterpiece still loved by many fans even now. Here, Jin, who works as both a musician and creator, discusses thoroughly about the appeal of it.

Learning the attitude and stance for creating things.

——You talked about how not many animes were aired in your homeland, but did you keep watching anime after that?

Jin: If you mean watching on TV, anime was what I enjoyed most. However, the shows on broadcast were limited, so when it comes to series that left an impression on me, it would be things like “Card Captor Sakura”, which I used to watch with my little sister. “Kinnikuman” was also re-aired and I liked it a lot. As expected, I was weak to “friendship” (laughs). When they were fighting for the throne or whatever, man, I cried, for real. This happened around the time I was in grade school, but when I got into middle school, I stopped watching anime entirely.

——And when you came back to it, it was right on time for...

Jin: For the series that I pointed out as second in line, “Cowboy Bebop”. Because my father had made up his mind to get his hands on a satellite television called SKY Perfect TV! I think he probably wanted to watch Discovery Channel, but back then, he also included Animax in the contract. And, by sheer coincidence, a re-run of “Cowboy Bebop” began right at that timing, around 2004 or 2005, I guess. I was a middle schooler then, and there were lots of CMs that went like, “Broadcast begins on X day of X month!” together with that opening theme by Kanno Youko-san.

——So that’s what caught your interest.

Jin: There was also the fact I’d been disconnected from anime for a while, so I watched the first episode not knowing anything. And the contents weren’t aimed at children at all (laughs). Dude sprayed an eye-drop drug into his eyes, went, “UWAH—!” and died, like.

——Ahaha. It was a shock.

Jin: “Cowboy Bebop” was my first time coming in contact with a hardboiled worldview. I was like, “What’s this? It’s so cool”. Until then, I had this impression that “anime was made for kids”, but for the first time, I felt like I was watching a drama. Plus, the story was interesting, so I was super hooked as I watched it, and while doing so, the episode “Jamming with Edward” (episode 9) had an impact on me.

——Satou Dai-san was the one who wrote the script for it, right? You later came to work together with Satou-san in “LISTENERS”.

Jin: That’s right. It was such an impact that it had me thinking, “You wouldn’t be able to do that in a TV drama”. And so, this ninth episode had me completely addicted to it, and in the end, I watched it up to the finale. Later on, when I began my own creations, I noticed that what I was doing overlapped with “Cowboy Bebop”, and when this happened, I realized I was doing something quite risky (laughs). To top it off, just when I thought, “There must be lots of animes like that out there”, there was surprisingly none.

The coolness of affirming that KagePro has both pop and hardcore songs and that this is what it is about!

——Ahaha. Did “Cowboy Bebop” have any influence on you? For example, on the music side...

Jin: Hmm... if you put it that way, maybe not (laughs). Only in the variety aspect of the narrative, as people call it. Each one of the 26 episodes has wholly different colors, so to say. They felt like a gashapon from which you couldn’t tell what was coming out next.

——Like, although there were episodes where they threw in comedy to their hearts contentment, there were also episodes that showed vigorous action.

Jin: When I think about it, there are also episodes that go through a simple approach by way of genres that even I would know. I think the creators must’ve had a lot of fun when making them. So when it comes to what influenced me, it I think it was the variation of songs. I think there probably aren’t that many composers like me, who make songs one by one and have no idea what song to write next.

——As in, you do it while intentionally deciding to change the tone and genre?

Jin: Rather than that, I guess it happens naturally. I was always the type who doesn’t listen to the same genre all the time – it’s like, “Today is rock day; tomorrow is punk day”. I believe it’s possible that “Cowboy Bebop” made me think this kind of feeling was valid. The themes also don’t have to be consistent, and even if you turn upside-down the things that you had been asserting in a previous episode, their value and meaning will still hold. Moreover, I didn’t think that the people who made “Cowboy Bebop” had to plan this stuff up in their heads and study about it so that they could put it to action. It just so happened that when they drew out the things they like and lined them up, it turned out the way it did.

——So they didn’t do it while aiming for that, but rather, it turned out to have a sense of variety to it when it was finished.

Jin: And I think it’s amazing because it validates itself with that. So I guess being able to say all we have to say is what actually matters (laughs). If I were to affirm, “This is what KagePro is about!”, then that’d be pretty much it. Even though there are both pop and hardcore songs in KagePro, nobody can say, “That doesn’t feel like KagePro”. That’s why I think that the coolness of proudly declaring, “That’s what it is!” is something I learned from Bebop. Like, “This is what’s cool”. It feels like, on my own accord, I accepted something that was like a stance to be taken when you create these kinds of things.

Part 3: obsessing over “Tokyo Godfathers”, which had developments where one couldn’t predict what lay ahead.

This is the third part of the interview series where the creator Jin talks about works that influenced him. Here, he discusses about a hidden masterpiece from the director Kon Satoshi, which also had a great influence on “Kagerou Project” and which he encountered during his vocational school years, while living a wasteful life.

——The third work is “Tokyo Godfathers” by Director Kon Satoshi, but when was it that you watched it?

Jin: It was during my vocational school years. After graduating from high school, I attended a vocational music school located in Sapporo, but my upperclassmen from that school taught me many bad ways of having fun (laughs). I used to buy lots of sick equipment. Then, obviously, I’d run out of money, so I worked to death in part-time jobs, and well, lived a wasteful life (laughs), but during that time, a friend from my class lent me a DVD of “Hidamari Sketch”. At first, I told him, “Nah, I’m not too into this kinda stuff”, but when I took it home and watched it, I wailed aloud.

——Ahaha.

Jin: That’s why I asked Asumi Kana-san (who voices Yuno) to play KagePro’s main heroine... Anyhow, “Hidamari Sketch” became the cue for me to start watching anime again. And Director Kon Satoshi was from Sapporo, so it was probably being featured in a video shop. “Tokyo Godfathers” is a 2003 movie, but I saw it in the video in 2008 or 2009.

——What piqued your interest about it?

Jin: It was tremendously well-done and fun, and on top of that, it was sharp – a work like no other up until then, I thought. A dramatic production with parallel storylines focusing on different characters is incorporated within the span of about an hour and half as if it weren’t enough. During that same time, there were also works by Mitani Kouki-san and Isaka Koutarou-san’s “Golden Slumber” was being made into live action, so I believe that the so-called multi-protagonist story kind of approach was being used in all sorts of places. But even among them, “Tokyo Godfathers” was outstandingly interesting. “Where the heck is this story heading to?” You can’t tell at all until the end. Three homeless people pick up a baby on Christmas night and try to take her to her mother, but as the story goes on, it gets to a climax like, “Does she even have a mother in the first place?”. Plus, we find out that the person who they thought to be the mother and handed the baby over to is actually someone who kidnapped her from a hospital. The story just keeps changing over and over.

As the story progresses, the characters’ pasts become visible. It was interesting that the past and present were firmly bound together.

——We can’t predict what comes next at all, huh?

Jin: So, the topic will go back to KagePro now: when I thought of writing a novel, first of all, I decided that I “wanted to do a multi-protagonist story”. To make a story like the one from “The☆Doraemons” into a multi-protagonist story. Back then, I really liked the type of novels that went on in first person – such as works by Isaka-san or Morimi Tomihiko-san, and also Yonezawa Honobu-san.

——I see, I see.

Jin: On the other hand, “Tokyo Godfathers” is structured so that the characters’ pasts can be seen more and more as the story progresses. As if the story progresses with the past mini-arcs as the main focus. Like, “Person A and Person B were actually parent and child!” – it was interesting that the past and the present were bound together so firmly. Moreover, the developments go on at an incredible speed, and there’s a proper catharsis at the end. Also, all the characters that show up in it have rich facial expressions.

——To begin with, the fact that the three main characters are homeless is a twist.

Jin: In the first place, it starts with the main heroine spitting onto people in the streets from a rooftop (laughs). I really like those sharp-edged points of it too. “Tokyo Godfathers” has a content that can be written even if the protagonists were parent and child from an ordinary household. But through making the protagonists homeless, it became extremely vivid.

——It’s as if it turns them into down-to-earth characters and gives you a sensation that they connect with the audience’s “present”.

Jin: If I were to speak of other words by Director Kon Satoshi, I also think that “Paprika” and “Sennen Joyuu” are amazing. But on the other hand, I end up thinking, “They’re so wonderful”. As in, “Awesome, aren’t they? I don’t get them very well, though” (laughs). But “Tokyo Godfathers” is a candid form of entertainment that even an idiot like me can instantly get hooked on. The fact that I indeed want to keep doing entertainment resides strongly inside me.

——Listening to you talk like this, Jin-san, it makes me think that the books you read and movies you watched because you liked them reflect straightforwardly in your own manner of expressing yourself.

Jin: I myself think that I’m usually straightforward (laughs). Rather than “I want it to be seen like this” or “I want people to think of it like that”, I prioritize “I want to do this” and “this is fun”, so to say. By multiplying “The☆Doraemons” to “Tokyo Godfathers”, it turned into “Kagerou Project” (laughs). I feel like that’s my foundation.