#i know the shows art style is ugly but if you look beyond it... there's a beautiful buff blonde man...

[asmidge]

wait he's so cute

[depressed-teacup-inc]

Ok what was that play

Ok hi everyone, episode 24 out (yes I’m aware episode 23 isn’t out so we lack a whole bunch of fucking context) but let’s try to analyze this anyways.

So. Let’s try to take this a little bit at a time.

Episode starts, and Adrien is in London (probably happened in episode 23) and clearly had a bad falling out with marinette, courtesy of abuse mcbusive dad. Great.

Listen Adrien this episode was a mixed bag for me, because on one side I’m so happy that he finally got to stand up to his dad and tell him shit as it is (especially considering what happens in the season 5 finale which I will not spoil for those who didn’t see the leaks, but let’s just say he doesn’t get the chance to ever stand up to that man again) but the fact that all of that eventually boils down to “I’m done with you because you won’t let me be with marinette” is kinda upsetting?

And that’s really my biggest disappointment with Adrien’s character this season! Adrien was always a compelling and sweet protagonist that beyond romance, held friendship and support above everything, and craved freedom to live his own life, but all of this is kinda gone? He’s just a reward for marinette to win and save now, and everything he does (rebelling for his freedom) is only because of marinette.

If Gabriel decided to suddenly approve of Marinette or Marinette grew up to become just as bad as Gabriel (which frankly, considering the dynamic ladybug has with Chat Noir, where she constantly screamed at him until he became her yes man is unfortunately likely), Adrien would let it be, because he and marinette can be together! He would let himself be abused because he never actually grew as a person! If anything, he was downgraded by the show to purely Marinette’s love interest and it’s just such a disappointment because I genuinely enjoyed Adrien’s character (for all his flaws and bad writing in the show).

Anyways Adrien tangent aside, marinette goes looking for him during the end of year party (which just sidenote, a trampoline on the Eiffel Tower sounds super dangerous, and Marinette’s dress? Ugly as hell, for the dress that’s supposed to represent how much she’s grown and her talent in capturing people’s hearts with her designs, it is really bad, and I would have just put her in that concept art gown they had for her with the butterflies and warm pink gradient) and ends up in the art room of her school, where Felix and Kagami reveal to her the entire truth about the Agreste family!

…ok so several notes on this entire situation:

1. I’m sorry but for the life of me I couldn’t take this fucking play seriously. The masks and the poor props (the pillow for the baby bump) and Felix and Kagami’s super stiff abstract acting made me lose my shit and laugh, they could have literally just used the camera amok to make something with a bit more of a budget and an interesting art style, and had Felix and Kagami be the narrators instead of this shit

2. The sheer absurdity of this show to reveal all the biggest plot points and the entire catalyst for this story (if Emilie never made the sentibabies she would have lived and peacock miraculous wouldn’t have been broken, hence Gabriel wouldn’t be Hawkmoth) through a fucking play is beyond me and shows how little care the writers put into the plot of this show that doesn’t revolve marinette and true love, we should have figured this out not from two side characters but rather through Gabriel himself (bonus points IF ADRIEN GETS TO KNOW THE FUCKING TRUTH RATHER THEN HAVE MARINETTE KNOW IT AND CONTROL ADRIEN)

3. Felix and Kagami’s motives

Ok so this is a bit of a longer point, so let’s break this down. So I don’t understand Felix and Kagami’s motive change at all? I thought Felix all this time was working towards getting the peacock miraculous and stealing all the rings from the abusive parents because it was a moral thing for him? Like he is a sentimonster and he knows Adrien is a sentimonster, and therefore he keeps fighting to protect and save his cousin?

BUT APPARENTLY THATS NOT THE SITUATION ANYMORE??? So apparently Kagami is a sentimonster too (tho she never before season 5 gave that impression at all? If anything she seems very headstrong and independent, and her mom was never villain levels abusive, BUT I GUESS SHE IS NOW?!) and Adrien is not (this I believe is purely Felix being misinformed and not having the full picture, because there’s no way in hell this show would literally use the same visuals they used on Adrien to describe Felix being controlled by the ring without wanting people to draw a connection, but I thought Felix knew? I mean he was saying how he did all of this in hopes of freeing his dear cousin, so I assumed Felix knew all this time)

And because of that? Felix’s motive? True loveeeee.

…ok listen I don’t hate Felix and Kagami together but holy shit I hate that motive

Cuz it’s not like Felix can have a compelling motive for doing less then ok things because of devotion to family and protecting someone who’s the same as him (tho I will concede Kagami and Felix are apparently in love for being sentikids together and they are a cute dynamic so good for them) NO YOU GUYS WE NEED A HETEROSEXUAL ROMANCE, AND SCREW FELIX TAKING DIRECT ACTION TO SAVE ADRIEN AND TELLING HIM THE TRUTH, LETS JUST TELL MARINETTE EVERYTHING AND SHE’LL SAVE ADRIEN WITHOUT TELLING HIM ANY OF THE TRUTH BECAUSE SHES MARINETTE!

…but yeah I thought that entire debacle was a lot.

Also the way they removed akuma alerts this episode so Marinette can just not go to battle and be justified for chasing Adrien crazily, because otherwise she would have looked like a hypocrite? They literally had to remove something they had from day one of this show (an emergency alert for akumas) just to justify the fact marinette didn’t go to battle and chased Adrien so she wouldn’t seem like an awful person (and the way she’s literally not even feeling bad about missing a whole battle, and Chat Noir was berated for missing battles for not being able to escape his civilian life, BUT YEAH YOU GUYS ITS FINE LETS NOT THINK ABOUT THE DOUBLE STANDARD TOO MUCH)

Also Natalie’s hair going white to show she’s dying was kinda weird (was it supposed to show how she’s so sick she’s not even dyeing her hair red anymore?) and Gabriel’s akuma design was ugly as fuck.

But yeah I’m dreading the finale as I already know what is happening there and im fucking scareddd

(P.S. can everyone calm down saying Kagami and Felix are fucked up for how they got Marinette’s attention? They literally did the one thing they knew she’d care about aka she’s obsessed with Adrien she’d follow if Adrien is involved, this isn’t bringing up her trauma settle down girlies)

[thewickedbohemian]

Dream Animated Movie Musical Tournament Seed Round Group H

For information on this tournament as well as the seed poll for group A go here

Why I think these musicals should be animated movies (in my opinion)

Starlight Express: as the main gimmick of the stage show is the skating you'd have to convey the sapient trains another way and while I'm not saying Disney should make this (though the animation could still take some inspiration) any more than it should be in the Cars universe such that it might as well be called Trains instead, that franchise at its best has proven kids can care about sentient vehicle characters when they're older than the Thomas The Tank Engine target demographic (and Starlight Express even has a plot with similar racing-intrigue vibes to those movies)

The Secret Garden: like A Little Princess, another classic story adapted time and again but I think a movie of the musical would be a fresh take and there are elements of the musical I think animation would have an easier time conveying on screen and if done well this could be absolutely breathtaking

Heathers: movie's a cult classic musical's an even-cultier-classic thanks to Tumblr (and I think way better than the movie) and this could strike the balance between nostalgia and feeling fresh (perhaps enough to boost the musical to Broadway through new fans) as well as wipe the ugly taste of that 2018 TV show out of society's collective mouth

My Fair Lady: maybe it's because it was one of the first live-action movie musicals I watched when I was still young enough to be in the target market for a lot of Disney animated musicals but ever since I started getting into the idea that maybe not-for-kids-explicitly musicals could be animated movies something about My Fair Lady has always seemed like it could really lend itself well to cartoons (maybe it's just how larger-than-life/archetypal the characters feel even by musical standards), and its movie is old enough that a new movie (perhaps with the changed/supposedly-more-feminist ending that one revival did) wouldn't be out of the question

Hello, Dolly: from one meddling-centric similar-period piece to another I just always picture how the songs would look animated (perhaps it's a setting thing but usually in a style similar to The Princess And The Frog) whenever I listen to anything from that show and the live-action movie we have is so iconic a remake would have to try something daring like being animated to stand out (and Disney could even make said remake as they do technically own the rights to Hello, Dolly)

Bare: A Pop Opera: (note I'm being specific here and wanting a movie of the version called that) it deserves to have a movie because it's an underrated and unfortunately-relevant show that deserves to have a fanbase outside some small corners of social media and a cultural impact outside of the potential that the song "All Grown Up" was sampled in Billie Eilish's Oscar-winning "No Time To Die", that movie should be animated not just because of the distancing/"less real" argument I've used with a lot of the heavier shows in this tournament but because I think that'd be the best way to convey the dual worlds/dual Romeo-and-Juliet narratives of the story without looking potentially cheap or like you're metaphorically watching Glee

Jasper In Deadland: because the mainstream deserves to know about Ryan Scott Oliver's work beyond the sorta-mainstreaming of "The Ballad Of Sara Berry" and this definitely seems like it'd lend itself well to animation (and perhaps appeal to a certain Tumblr-active crowd into YA animation who probably shopped at Hot Topic before Hot Topic were revealed to be art thieves)

[azzurra-astra]

Have you seen the bitching about the latest episode or seen these people whine about how they hate the show but draw the characters anyway?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?????

Media illiteracy, psychological and emotional immaturity, envy and pride, it’s beyond fucking disgusting. They’re exhausting, and all I can advise if anybody wants to avoid them, do not engage and outright block them. They’re unimportant, let them remain that way and howl into the dark until they’re dust at the back of your mind. It’s healthier for you emotionally and mentally not to engage. Follow an example from BlueSky, just block and boot em. No series is above criticism, there’s moments in Helluva/Hazbin that’s even given me pause and I’m a massive fan. I’m a huge Supernatural fan and even I’ve been like “holy fuck what” at certain moments. Never blindly praise something, but these people latch onto anything negative to support their god-awful despicable behavior and cynical outlook in order to justify their acting like a shitty 12 year old. They seek drama for a number of reasons, despite a majority of them being adults in their 20s. They get their rocks off on annoying fans of the show, bad-mouthing the creator, insulting the art, etc. I’ve noticed it makes them feel valid for whatever fuckall reason. When said behavior receives push back they clutch their pearls and gaslight, I don’t engage shit from them but I’ve read some incredibly disturbed takes and it immediately loses it’s footing because it’s coming from a sorry prick.

Notorious band-wagon aggression towards a series and even fashioning falsehoods that can compromise someone’s safety— or blindly believing what they see to further demonize the creator because it gives ammo to an already deep-seated hate for that person is one of the most fascinating things to observe. They’re not mentally healthy, that I can confidently acknowledge, not with that level of negative fixation. I can only promote seeking a therapist or at least putting the same amount of effort into bettering their own skills and furthermore themselves.

There’s having a moderate conversation where someone can propose a different outcome for a scenario and how much smoother it could’ve gone, then there’s arrogantly assuming they can produce better media, or story, or construct a better character design (while simultaneously insulting Vivs work). If that’s the case then why wasn’t it put up first? Lack of funding isn’t a valid excuse either, ideas are free. Her style is more marketable, whimsical, recognizable, colorful and wild. I’ve seen a lot of the redesigns with the attempt at “upgrading” something that already stood out are unrecognizable, generic, and forgettable. I’m sorry your shit flew under the radar, and she made it big while you didn’t.

My own work is meh, forgettable and doesn’t draw attention to that degree. That’s not a shameless plug, it’s a fact. Won’t stop me from drawing— and it never should discourage someone, also it’s a terrible mindset to compare your work to someone with more skill —but I won’t go out of my way thinking I can produce something more cohesive or BETTER. One artist I absolutely adored the art style of wound up being a vile hater of the series, like there’s not being into it but she takes it to astronomically unhealthy levels, even now. Even dictating that Viv didn’t know how to write LGBT relationships (even tho Viv is part of the community herself) and seemed to promote this idea that unhealthy or abusive relationships don’t exist within the community. Your sexuality does not apply a guideline to how shitty you can be as a human being. Relationships are not a fantasy land of rainbows and unicorns, I’ve had to watch family members going through it, I myself almost fell into a toxic cycle twice. Reality is ugly as fuck. Sorry.

Earlier on though, I was willing to look past her more concerning takes because she had some great stuff (not to mention they weren’t that bad at first from what I saw), but the moment she saw I was an HB/HH fan she forced me to unfollow (it was Twit), no matter, I just moved on. She is also well known, and sought to use her popularity to stir drama. It warranted a block from me when she decided stir shit simply for the sake of it (because how dare the attention not be on her) and redesigned Bee. Then she had the nerve to whine that the fans were mean and she only was getting hate just because. No, you knew exactly what would happen and therefore fully chose to do so. You’re an adult, take responsibility for your own actions. You knew that fans would give inflamed responses and call you out on your shit, because you did nothing but broadcast your despise for the series prior to fucking redesigning a character from a series you hate for no other reason than to draw flames. You also demonized the fanbase as well when they had a right to be angry at your actions. You threw a rock at a hornets nest then screeched “See???? See?! They’re DANGEROUS AND BAD.”

No attention is worse than bad attention in the minds of people like that. Grow the fuck up and move on in life, there’s more pressing matters in reality. I’ll say again, not being into something is totally fine, I work with coworkers who don’t care for it and it’s not the end of my world. If they pipe up about it unprompted while I’m discussing a scenario with a fellow watcher, I won’t hesitate to tell them to go find something important to do because their input wasn’t asked for, and idc if it offends them. If their 2cents were wanted then I’d invite them to add. I don’t discuss the topic with them because I know they’re not big on it because they’re uncomfortable by it and such. It’s called how to function as an adult, and it’s scary for these people.

But truly, block those fucking nimps. You can acknowledge how absolutely disgusting these people are, but do not interact. Things will be better for it. I block two types of people, underaged fans and (clearly) mentally-underaged adults.

[renthony]

I think it's weird that the most common criticism of Big Mouth is that its art style is ugly. It looks a lot like Klasky-Csupo animation to me, which is, like, peak 90s Nicktoon nostalgia that a lot of people really love.

There's some genuinely good stuff in that show, and it keeps getting renewed, so clearly SOMEONE other than me is watching it, but I never see anyone talk about it beyond, "it's ugly." Not even any critique of the iffy or outright bad stuff in the plot, just "the art style is ugly."

It's got some godawful shit in it that I hate, mind you, (mostly Coach Steve and Rick), but the most recent season had some fucking incredible asexuality rep, plus an entire musical number about gender and being nonbinary, so, you know. Mixed bag of a show, really. I wouldn't say I "recommend" it, but I'm going to keep watching it if only because I've made it this far already.

[star-anise]

Ok, I'll bite. What *is* the difference between Bridgerton and Jane Austen in relationship to their skirts?

Oh! Not in their costuming, just in their general *waves hands* everything. It's a comment I see a lot about Bridgerton: "Well, it's not much like Austen, is it?"

That's because there are 200 years of literary history between the two, and they have not been empty!

This ended up being 1.5k words, but when I put stuff under a readmore, people don't actually read it and then just yell at me because of a misread of the 1/10th of the post they did read. Press j to skip or get ready to do a lot of scrolling (It takes four generous flicks to get past on my iPhone).

First I'll say my perspective on this is hugely shaped by Sherwood Smith, who has done a lot of research on silver fork novels and the way the Regency has been remembered in the romance genre.

The Regency and Napoleonic eras stretch from basically the 1790s to 1820, and after that, it was hard to ignore the amount of social change happening in Britain and Europe. The real watershed moment is the 1819 Peterloo Massacre, where 60,000 working-class people protesting for political change were attacked by a militia. The issues of poverty, class, industrialization, and social change are inescapable, and we end up with things like the 1832 Reform Act and 1834 Poor Law.

This is why later novelists, like Charles Dickens and Elizabeth Gaskell, are so concerned with the experiences of the urban poor. Gaskell's North and South has been accurately described as "Pride and Prejudice for socialists."

So almost as soon as it ended, people started to look back and mythologize the Regency as a halcyon era, back when rich people could just live their rich lives and fret about "only" having three hundred pounds a year to live on. Back when London society was the domain of hereditary landowners, when you weren't constantly meeting with jumped-up industrialists and colonials.

Jane Austen is kind of perfect for this because she comes at the very end of the long eighteenth century, and her novels show hints of the tremors that are about to completely reshape England, but still comfortably sit in the old world. ("The Musgroves, like their houses, were in a state of alteration, perhaps of improvement. The father and mother were in the old English style, and the young people in the new. Mr and Mrs Musgrove were a very good sort of people; friendly and hospitable, not much educated, and not at all elegant. Their children had more modern minds and manners.")

Sherwood Smith covers the writers who birthed the Silver Fork genre in detail, but there's one name that stands out in its history more than any other: Georgette Heyer.

Georgette Heyer basically single-handedly established the Regency Romance as we know it today. Between 1935 and 1972, she published 26 novels set in a meticulously researched version of London of the late 18th and early 19th century. She took Silver Fork settings and characters and turned them into a highly recognizable set of tropes, conventions, and types. (As Sherwood points out, her fictional Regency England isn't actually very similar to the period as it really happened; it's like Arthurian Camelot, a mythical confection with a dash of truth for zest.)

Regency Romance is an escapist genre in which a happy, prosperous married life is an attainable prize that will solve everything for you. Georgette Heyer's novels are bright, sparkling, delightful romps through a beautiful and exotic world. Her female characters have spirit and vivacity, and are allowed to have flaws and make mistakes without being puritanically punished for them. Her romances have real unique sparks to them. She's able to write a formula over and over without it becoming dull.

And.... well. The essay that introduced me to Heyer still, in my opinion, says it best:

Here's the thing about Georgette Heyer: she hates you. Or, okay, she doesn't hate you, exactly. It's just that unless you are white, English, and upper class (and hale, and hearty, and straight, and and and), she thinks you are a lesser being. [...W]ith Heyer, I knew where I stood: somewhere way below the bottom rung of humanity. Along with everyone else in the world except Prince William and four of his friends from Eton, which really took away the sting. But my point is: if you are not that white British upper-class person of good stock and hearty bluffness and a large country estate, the only question for you is which book will contain a grimly bigoted caricature of you featuring every single stereotyped trait ever associated with your particular group. (You have to decide for yourself if really wonderful female characters and great writing are worth the rest of it.)

So Heyer created the genre, but she exacerbated the flaw that was always at the heart of fiction about the Regency, was that its appeal was not having to deal with the inherent rot of the British aristocracy. I think part of why it's such a popular genre in North America specifically is that we often don't know much British history, so we can focus more on the perfume and less on the dank odor it's hiding.

And like, escapism is not a bad thing. Romance writers as a community have sat down and said: We are an escapist genre. The Romance Writers of America, one of the biggest author associations out there, back when they were good, have foundationally said: "Two basic elements comprise every romance novel: a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending." A strong part of the community argue that publishing in the genre is a "contract" between author and reader: If it's marketed as a romance book, there's a Happily Ever After. If there's no Happily Ever After, it's not romance.

It's important for people to be able to take a break from the stresses of their lives and do things that are enjoyable. But the big question the romance genre in particular has to deal with is, who should be allowed to escape? Is it really "escapist" if only white, straight, upper class, able-bodied thin cis people get to escape into it? In historical romance, this is especially an issue for POC and LGBTQ+ people. It's taken a lot of work, in a genre dominated by the Georgette Heyers of the world, to try to hew out the space for optimistic romances for people of colour or LGBTQ+ people. These are minority groups that deal with a literally damaging amount of stress in real lives; they are in especial need of sources of comfort, refuge, community, and encouragement. For brief introductions to the issue, I can give you Talia Hibbert on race, and KJ Charles on LGBTQ+ issues.

Up until the 1990s, the romance genre evolved slowly. It did evolve; Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan's Beyond Heaving Bosoms charts the demise of the "bodice-ripper" genre as it became more acceptable for women to have and enjoy sex. The historical romance genre became more accommodating to non-aristocratic heroines, or ones that weren't thin or conventionally pretty. The first Bridgerton book, The Duke and I, was published in 2000, and has that kind of vibe: Its characters are all white but not all of them are aristocrats, its heroines are frequently not conventionally beautiful and occasionally plump, and its cultivation to modern sensibility is reflected in its titles, which reference popular media of today.

This is just my impression, but I think that while traditional mainstream publishing was beginning to diversify in the 1990s, the Internet was what really made diverse romance take off. Readers, reviewers, and authors could talk more freely on the internet, which allowed books to become unlikely successes even if their publishers didn't promote them very much. Then e-publishing meant that authors could market directly to their readers without the filter of a publishing house, and things exploded. Indie ebooks proved that there was a huge untapped market.

One of my favourite books, Zen Cho's Sorcerer to the Crown, is an example of what historical romance is like today; it's a direct callback and reclamation of Georgette Heyer, with a dash of "Fuck you and all your prejudices" on top of it. It fearlessly weaves magic into a classic Heyer plot, maintaining the essential structure while putting power into the hands of people of colour and non-Western cultures, enjoying the delights of London society while pointing out and dodging around the rot. It doesn't erase the ugliness, but imagines a Britain that is made better because its poor, its immigrants, its people of colour, and the foreign countries it interacts with have more power to make their voices heard and to enforce their wills. Another book I've loved that does the same thing is Courtney Milan's The Duke Who Didn't.

So then... Bridgerton the TV show is trying to take a book series with a very middle-of-the-road approach to diversity, differing from Heyer but not really critiquing her, and giving it a facelift to bring it up to date.

So to be honest, although it's set in the same time period as Austen, it's not in the least her literary successor. It's infinitely more "about" the past 30 years of conversation and art in the romance genre than it is about books written 200 years ago.

[colossal-fallout]

Coming right up ❤️

Fem!Reader X Eren

Warnings: 18+ NSFW smut / slight angst / cheating

Eren's brooding eyes snap towards his roomates bedroom door when he hears the muffled voices of you and your boyfriend. Your voices weren't quite yells - yet. But it was abundantly clear that there was almost certainly a storm brewing. Ignoring it, he returns his emerald greens onto the manga book he was reading, silently telling himself not to pry. This would be the fourth argument you two had this week - and it was only Wednesday. Over the course of the month...? He'd lost count.

He pushed away the irritation that began to claw under his skin. He'd always secretly had a thing for you and he seen that his douche bag of a roommate did not treat you as well as he should.

He leasuirely turns the page, his usual calm exterior hiding his frustration as sure enough, the volume of your voices begin to rise through the wood of the door.

He tries to ignore it, focusing on the magnificent art work that brought his pages to life. But he couldn't help but wonder in the back of his mind how much happier you'd be if you just left his ass and got together with himself.

When he hears your voice crack and an uncontrolled sob break through your lips, he leaps up with a sigh, scratching the back of his head and heading into his room. Hopefully by the time he has a shower and is dressed, the two of you would have hashed it out and made up.

Fat chance.

"You don't even have sex with me anymore..." He hears you cry tragically as he passes by the door to his room. "Do you think I'm ugly now...? I'm desperate here!"

His eyes widen and hands form into a fist, his entire body freezing at the sound of you sobbing those words.

Are you - no. Is he for real?! You're gorgeous. You're kind. Funny. Caring. Strong... What the fuck is wrong with him?!

He shakes his chestnut brown head and storms into his room, unintentionally slamming his door a lot louder than he'd meant to.

Eren takes his time in the shower - allowing the steam and hot water to relax him and refocus his mind. Really, it had nothing to do with him.

So why couldn't he shake you out of his mind?

He was relieved when he eventually got out, dried and dressed and he no longer heard the yelling. His eyes scanned the alarm clock next to his bed.

21:43

He'd been in the shower for a little over an hour. The warm water soaking into his skin and making it feel that extra bit soft. With a lazy yawn, he strolls to his door to pick up his book from the living room. He's surprised to see you sitting on the couch, alone reading his manga.

"Hey." He sounds, eyes wide as your beautiful form is melted onto the sofa.

"Oh, hey." You sit up nervously, placing his book down. "Sorry Eren, is this yours?"

"Where is he?" Eren asks, walking into the room.

"...I don't know." You mutter.

He could see that spark behind your eyes becoming extinguished due to that Jack ass and he wasn't going to just stand by and watch that happen.

He places his hands in this trouser pockets, leaning against the wall. His man bun a lot more loose than usual from his freshly washed hair; a couple of strands falling over his handsome face.

"You know... I think you're gorgeous." He admits without a care in the world.

You blink in surprise, not really knowing what to say. "I... Uh... Thank you, Eren. It means a lot."

"I know." He shrugs, slinking over to you and plonking himself down next to you, the weight of him making you sink slightly. "I couldn't help but hear you arguing. If you ask me..." He turns his head to look at you - his dark smouldering eyes peircing your very being. "He's an idiot."

Your cheeks begin to burn as you glance away shyly, your confidence well and truly in the back pocket of your boyfriend's jeans - wherever they may be or who's floor they're on right now.

He returns his gaze ahead, arms splaying over the back of the couch, his left arm over your shoulders but not touching you.

"I'm sorry you heard us arguing." You whisper.

"Doesn't bother me." He shrugs. "What bothers me is the burning question of why you're even still with him."

You don't answer. You don't have an answer. It's a question you'd asked yourself all too often.

Whatever shower gel Eren uses rolls off him into your nose. A mixture of spiced sandalwood with a hint of teatree maybe? Whatever it was, it combined with the warmth of his skin, blanketing you with such compassion you could almost feel his increased heart rate as his eyes slyly drink you in.

"I heard other things, too." He mutters, suddenly leaning his face close to yours with a smirk. "I can help you, if you want."

"H-help me?" You heart palpitates and butterflies flutter within you, his demeanor totally changing into something you'd never seen from him before.

"I can make you feel good." He explains with such simplicity, you were certain he couldn't possibly be taking about what you thought he was.

Your vacant expression forces him to spell it out for you.

With his large hand cupping your face , he brushes his lips against yours his eyes then scanning your orbs for any resistance. All he can see is how startled you are; wanting to kiss him but your conscience holding you back.

"Let me take care of you..." He reiterates, his hand now slowly moving up your thigh. "In more ways than one."

"E-eren..." You breathe, your logical thinking quickly being taken over by your now throbbing libido as this gorgeous man now gently slides his tongue into your mouth, catching your lips tenderly once he was fully inside.

He's beyond elated when you return his affections, your hands quickly finding their way to his hair; your breathing rate quickened yet heavy. His tongue caresses yours, swirling and entwining, his throat buzzing with a low, short moan.

It's a hurried kiss - your hands roaming each others face and hair with quick succession, your inhales and exhales pushing through your nostrils loudly, the both of you quickly becoming flustered.

Whether it were his alpha male DNA coming into play, or he got too fired up (maybe both) he ends up scooping you up with ease and carrying you, bridal style, into his bedroom. His lips never leave yours as he pushes the door closed with his foot behind hiny, reaching around and clicking the lock, before lowering you gently onto the bed.

He crawls over you, his breath heavy and eyes heavy lidded; his mouth finding its way to your neck and grazing it.

"Eren... I can't. It's not right..."

You hear yourself but it didn't feel like it was you saying those words, your body screaming at you to just shut the fuck up.

"I'm just showing you how you should be treated." He breathes, hand now roaming up your shirt. "You're not doing anything. It's all on me."

Your moan that escapes you as he pulls at your nipple pushes him on the verge of crazed lust, his lips returning to yours as he rolls your breast around in his large palm, squeezing and pulling. It had been so long since you'd been touched in this way, your body craved it so badly. You found yourself grinding against his thigh, your kisses now desperate as you tug at his hair.

Somewhere within enjoying his touches and kisses, he'd removed your pants. You weren't sure when, just one moment they were there, the next your legs were bare as his hand cups your crotch, your wetness soaking through the material of your panties.

"Eren..." You gasp, back arching at his warm skin - even through the material it felt so good.

His fingers hastily push them to the side with a groan, wanting nothing more than to have you fully. But he knew that wouldn't be possible. Not with the thought of him looming over you like a shadow.

You cry out a lot louder than expected when his long finger slides into you, followed by a second, his thumb circling your external magic spot as he continued to nuzzle into your neck; kissing, whispering and biting.

"Do my fingers feel good inside you?"

You nod, your grip on the sheets tightening, your legs tensing and releasing as he begins to wiggle his digits.

He'd spent many-a-night imagining you under him like this. His long cock was solid, and you could feel his yearning for you pressing tightly against your thigh.

Your body is on fire as he works you, picking up speed as your insides suck him in, caressing him and begging for more.

"You're so fucking gorgeous..." He hums, now looking down into your eyes. "Fuck... You've got me so hard."

You whine loudly at his words, back arching and nails digging deeper into his matress. Your face is burning, boardering on hysterical as your untouched sex is so lovingly caressed.

"yes, Eren... It's so good..." You sob, your mouth hanging open and your eyes clasping closed. "Ah~ Ah~~!"

"Fuck..." He marvels, watching you squirm at his charity.

"I'm going to... Already..." You warn, feeling suddenly full as the pleasure begins to get too intense.

"yes, cum baby..." He smiles softly yet devishly, his pace getting faster.

Your silent scream confirms your climax, your back springing and your insides clamping down, sprinkling his palm with your water as you swirl right down the drain and into the palm of Eren Yeager.

He watches you in sheer awe as you come undone, unweaving and unravelling at his mercy. Squirming and trembling, your body now under his control during those few seconds of unrestricted ecstasy.

You expected to be riddled with guilt when you'd come back to earth. But strangely you didn't. It felt... Right.

"Do you feel better?" He mutters, his mouth caressing your shoulder.

You nod, speachless.

He removes his fingers reluctantly; placing them on his flat tongue. "You taste good too." His tone has a bitter sting to it, you're perfect, just like he'd always thought.

"Be with me. Leave him." He states. "You deserve so much better. I want to be the one who takes care of you."

You think about it for a moment. It makes so much sense to do so. But well, y/n... Whether you take him up on his offer or not - it's up to you.

[docholligay]

@rosepetalrevolution Yeah, exactly, like, I was, please don’t misunderstand me, BEYOND ANNOYED about doing it to Tracer because she is my girl and I love her and I have a very particular idea of her, but she’s one character. This is an annoying pattern of behavior wherein the tiny tiny handful (two) of the visually butch characters get femmed up. Let them live! I’m about to go off on a nearly-unrelated rant, but it feels like no matter how far we go forward in ~representation~ butch women are constantly getting the fucked end of the stick. They’re too boundary pushing for any property toeing into the water and not ‘enough’ for any property looking to be ~diverse~ and so it just ends up with us still acting like butch women aren’t real, don’t exist, and don’t deserve to have anyone in media. AHHHHHHHH

ANd yeah, the laziness Is An Issue, and not just with my general frustration fith literal depiction but like, you know I fucking hate myself utterly and want to suffer, I have been reading all these comics. And I’ve been asking myself: DO I blame the creative team, or do I blame the medium of comics themselves, for how these TANTALIZINGLY meaty issues are getting resolved like its a fucking 80s sitcom? 

I SALIVATED when London Calling came out with an idea I’ve always wanted to noodle on myself--that Lena felt she shouldn’t have gotten out of the way. She made a split-second choice to save her own life, because! She likes being alive! And it ended up costing dearly. I love the idea that she struggles with it. That there’s a part of her that thinks she Should Not Have Moved. And she...probably would have died. Not ideal, and I don’t think something she’s seeking, she’s not the type. At the very least, her CA would have been shattered, which might have been a worse outcome than death, to go through that hell for time three. 

But Mondatta was, in universe, a huge force for political good, someone capable of uniting this ABSOLUTELY HAM FISTED and so in my own world I basically refuse to engage with it weird racism allegory. He could have made a global difference. This assassination will be in history books. And what is she? If we go by how she was presented originally, she’s  working-class pilot who is uncommonly brave and made the best of a really piss poor situation. That’s all! She is not a great political mind! At best, she’s a symbol, and she can do that dead. How could it NOT bother her? 

Loved it. Screaming. Was living for it. 

So the end answer we arrived at very quickly was, “Take a bullet for an omnic who is also not a great political mind but we have the same taste in music and it will take you a full week to recover” W H A T??? 

And same with confronting Fareeha and Ana, where I think Fareeha has every right to be like, “ahaha oh my god, FUCK you.” and it ends up with I think three pages of Ana being like, “I did in fact fuck up” and Fareeha hugging her at the end of it and like, have y’all ever been on the internet for five seconds people don’t forgive their parents for being human, much less PRETENDING TO BE DEAD FOR YEARS AND ACTIVELY THWARTING ONE’S CAREER. 

It’s just absolute snap your fingers laziness with these things that could really be teased out of characters and do great things with who they are as people, and it’s just such STEADFAST REFUSAL to really engage with the idea. It’s ‘growing out hair to show time change” wrought large in these aggressively annoying ways and the next character to be featured is Dva and I’m like “why don’t you just pick up Winston next so you can fail all of my greatest loves?”  HI WOW NO ONE WANTED THIS HUH SORRY

Yeah please don’t misunderstand me even if Lena had been running around in an RAF work shirt and corduroys, with a haircut that would be a side part with a quiff if she didn’t run her hands through it 87 times a day, as god intended, I would have been like, “Wow do I dislike this art style” but as I said in the comments of my last post “I don’t care if she’s ugly I care if she’s femmey” ahaha. 

It seemed SO EGREGIOUS @seolh​ I WAS SO ANNOYED

[reachexceedinggrasp]

You mentioned in your last post that you love Beauty and the Beast style romances and you consider 12 and Clara one of them, it’s funny I always thought the same thing about them! I know there have been some wonderful fan fics and art that put 12 and Clara in a Beauty and the Beast context but what do you think it would have been like if there had been an actual DW episode or book or something that played with this concept?

There was actually a canon comic where they're called out as being akin to Jane/Rochester (Charlotte Bronte is inspired by meeting them lol), so It Is Known!

I don't think the show didn't play with the concept as it stands. The Magician's Apprentice/Witch's Familiar and Before the Flood/Under the Lake episodes both have a really interesting subtext about how other people view their relationship and how inaccessible the Doctor's true self can be for people who don't know how to look. There's a lot of subtle interrogation of his potential monstrousness and damage he can do just by his nature (which is very Cocteau B&tB imo).

And all of series eight with its overarching questions about why the Doctor has regenerated in this form, what this face hides and what it reveals, and about whether he is a good man. That he keeps asking Clara this and that so much of the underlying theme of the series is both of them confronting the possibility she's going to decide he's not. She ranges widely in her confidence about being able to see the Doctor clearly, swinging from total conviction that she knows him beneath his every mask and a very real fear that she doesn't know him at all.

The narrative doesn't take it for granted that she is Beauty and she's able to look beyond all appearances and into his soul, it challenges her. Clara, of course, is ultimately very much correct that she's someone who can flirt with a mountain range and that she knew exactly who he was, but there a lot of stories dealing with outward ugliness and 'curses'. Equally, she is someone who is always hiding parts of herself, always giving of herself to create the world which others expect, and unable to live authentically in her own desires. He accepts and values every part of her, including the ones she's ashamed of, and forces her to acknowledge what she really wants.

To me B&tB is always about mutual recognition, compassionate insight, and loving the supposedly unlovable. Which is precisely what the Doctor and Clara are about imo. They free each other from bondage and into their most realised selves.

But anyway, there's a whole thing about her descending into dungeons with him constantly, his tapping into her dreams and manifesting them, her view of him as a journey she goes on, and he gets monsterfied more than once (including physically in the Lake episodes) and there's so much there already.

But you could go even more literal, for sure. You don't even have to do much work, he could get alien cursed and she could break it. The truly great thing about DW is that you can cross it over with absolutely anything and it will work. History, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, etc. etc. can all be absorbed by its maw of weirdness.

(The show itself is a sci-fi fairy tale not fantasy because it has consistently sci-fi themes and storytelling concerns, but that's a whole different rant.)

Also, idk if you've read any of the Twelve/Clara books, but you should read Deep Time because it is astonishingly good for a tie-in book and kinda fits in with these themes as well.

[ocdhuacheng]

@dumbweebracoon hiii not bothering, I talk shit about starember a lot but I’m not sure if Ive ever made a coherent post listing all the reasons why so here we go:

(Also I hope it’s okay that I made a separate post about this rather than just replying on the other one, because I’m petty and I want it in the tag)

draws incest: if you do a google search of starember lotr art you will find a whole bunch of sexual (either suggestively or explicit) art of thranduil and legolas, who, idk if uve ever read or watched it, are in fact father and son

Draws pedophilia/shotacon: in a lot of these pieces Legolas is portrayed to be visibly underage

Used naziism for the aesthetic???? : There was at least one of these where the characters were being all “”””sexy”””” in SS uniforms and with the nazi flag/imagery which is. Barf. This is a bit harder to find because I think they deleted it but there was a post out there with more information but I can’t find it anymore sorry. If anyone knows where the evidence for this is feel free to link it, but i hope you’ll trust me when i say I’ve seen it so like it iiiis real and I’m not making it up 😅

Racism/colorism: the way the banyue people are drawn, especially in comparison to banyue herself is really bad. Theyre pretty much arab stereotypes, while banyue, who is supposed to be of the same race as ke mo & co. (At least from one parent, forget which one) is super pale and dainty. Saying ie. Dark skin = barbarism, being wrong, etc, and light skin = being good, etc. Considering ke mo and squad are the only dark skinned characters in the entire manhua entirely (iirc) is also. Not a good look. It seems they’re allergic to drawing darker skin unless it’s on antagonists. I’ve seen a lot of asian/middle eastern ppl explain this better than I can but yeah that’s the gist

Similarly, exotification of the Middle East: remember that one awful hualian art where xl is in really revealing, “””sexy””” (putting this in quotes because it’s not actually sexy it’s just really uncomfortable) “””middle eastern harem””” clothing and is sitting in hc’s lap like he’s about to get fucked and it’s all very embarrassing and gross. Like starember Idk why it’s so hard for you to not draw other cultures in a superficial objectified way but like go off queen I guess

Fujoshi crimes lol: yea u mentioned drawing hua cheng super buff but like imo this isn’t just a personal taste issue it’s just she draws him so ridiculously masculine (San lang is better I think iirc, but hua cheng....... that is not hua cheng. That is refrigerator kylo ren) and xie lian so dainty and feminine it’s so obvious that they only see them as ~seme and uke~. Their visual designs, and also the way I think they ignore their canon personalities just to make xie lian all blushy and vacant (especially in their separate fanarts) and shit and hua cheng all 😏😏😏😏😏shows they do not give a shit about gay men at all beyond how well they can get off to them.

Personal taste but also not really: Also the ugly ass redraws are increasing this fetishy kind of thing too. Why does everyone always look like 👁👄👁when they draw them????? Why change their eye color and face shape to be more “white” for a lack of a better term. It’s so uncomfy. Their original style from the earlier chapters was fine, and actually even enjoyable in places so idk why they’re changing it. Also they’re just incapable of putting any emotion into their art like yeah it’s like. Pretty or whatever but everyone is so 😐 it’s just boring. ALSO SAME FACE SYNDROME. LMAOOOOO. The other complaints I have about their art are pretty much all just objectively personal taste so I won’t go into it but yeah. Their art is so overrated.

Their stans: okay I’ll admit that this isn’t really starembers fault but I have to put it in here because the way a lot of you people talk about them is super embarrassing. Like. Kind of cult like. And if anyone has criticisms of them, you harass the shit out of them. Like chill, unclench, they’re not a god (people have unironically said they are) and it’s not a war crime for people to not like them or their work. Also always going to the “people hate starember because they’re jealous of their talent” comeback is so tired like no I hate them because they’re a shitty overrated person, or even just because I don’t like their art style, definitely not because I want to draw like them. People have valid reasons for not liking starember and Idk why that’s so hard for their stans to accept, and they act as if not liking starember is some moral failing it’s ridiculous. Cult, I swear to god.

Not really explained well But yeah. If I’m forgetting anything feel free to add on lol

[stillwinterair]

For years I have been forced to struggle with the fact that Dragon Age 2 is like two degrees off from being the perfect game for me on almost every metric, and the result of it missing ever-so-slightly in so many fields just leaves it feeling bland.

Insulated, personal story grounded in a well fleshed-out city? Well, we're gonna make that city absolutely miserable to be in. No one who is here wants to be here, because Kirkwall sucks and every day is a dreary nightmare. The act of getting to know the extensive character of our setting is going to feel like grinding sandpaper up against your face.

Incredibly strong, complex character writing? This barely extends beyond your party. Very few people you meet will be memorable, those who are have very few interactions, the rest of the city's population feels one-dimensional. The major antagonists don't even show up until the final act.

A group of companions who essentially function as a close-knit group of the player character's friends, all of whom are incredibly well-written? Textually, they all fucking hate each other. Their interactions with one another are almost exclusively hostile, and very rarely in a cute way, almost always in a "I will find the one thing that harms you the most and poke it with a hot iron" kind of way. The vibe is rancid.

Personable, voiced protagonist with genuine charm and great writing? You essentially have three Tone Options, and if you don't stick with one of them, your character will often feel inconsistent. These three options boil down to "choose this if you want to be boring," "choose this if you want to be a horrible, evil person who is also boring," and "the one that's fun." So if I replay with a different tone, I'm bored, but if I replay with the same tone again, I'm bored because I already know all the lines.

Aforementioned strong character writing and intimate, personal story? Yeah, yeah, listen, we've run out of time and budget, so our third act is gonna be over real quick. Antagonists? Yeah, we've got those. They're pretty interesting people, too, with some great voice actors behind them! Oh, you wanted actual content out of them? Some time for them to develop? Maybe branching paths depending on your choices where you can side with one over the other, leading to a different outcome? Well, we don't have that. Just pick whatever, it don't mean much.

And finally: You wanted a AAA game to eschew the Realism of this era of gaming? You want us to tackle a different art style -- perhaps one meant to be bright and colorful, perhaps resembling a watercolor painting if you squint hard enough? Well, we're gonna do it really shoddily, and we're gonna do it for a game that's almost exclusively in shades of brown and gray. All the angles are gonna be too sharp, and all the people are gonna look ridiculous. Somehow, despite Origins and Inquisition both having Ugly, Relatively-Realistic Art Styles, they're both gonna age better than DA2.

[perqedel]

beyond evil (2021) / ★★★★★

psychological thriller isn’t really my best cup of tea. probably because it requires braincells to understand the work. but of course i’m giving a baeksang arts awards winner a chance. 

to be frank, there are still some parts i can’t quite get my head wrapped around. i lost focus every now and then watching it (partly because of yeo jin goo’s looks being served as a whole meal with ruffled hair style and extremely straight personality).

the drama gives you a slight slice of life with a closer-than-family neighborhood background. but that’s what it is, though. nothing more than a background. every person in the neighborhood is drawn to have a backstory, a motive. everyone is a piece. a pawn (i don’t play chess).

the writers and director has a way with making the viewers think they know something. they think they figure out or at least could guess who the culprit is, and then they create a totally different scene. it’s not even a twist. it felt more like a slap in the face because you tried to keep guessing instead of watching the drama moves by itself.

shin ha kyun, on the other hand, deserves the loudest claps an auditorium of artistic people could give. i believe. the looks he served (and i mean literal looks, the one they usually describe as soul-piercing, laser-beaming in books) throughout the drama. i did not exaggerate one bit when i say i had shivers whenever he laughed or smiled. he showed laughter and smirks and slight smiles in this oddly cold way that you feel weird seeing them. it feels like walking alone at night in an empty road after trying to study with your friends (and you’ve failed because studying with friends usually end in talks and meals anyways). the analogy was weird but just go along. i feel like the term ‘nut case’ couldn’t match his character (lee dong sik) better. i think he received an award for this one? 

yeo jin goo, the partner. i really have to get this out but does anyone also see bts kim taehyung in jin goo? maybe it’s the hair? the side profile? the way he talks? i keep seeing taehyung in him throughout the drama i almost think i missed watching bts contents. i don’t think i’ve watched other works with him involved before. but i have to say, the man caught my attention. his character (han ju won) here was the usual best-selling character in kdrama universe if such thing exists. the superior type: attractive man with unresolved trauma and ugly relationship with his dad who’s usually either a hotshot or a disgustingly rich jackass. with the cold, i-know-everything-because-i-was-brought-better-than-you attitude, the man managed to make you feel things. more like pissed on one episode and then shocked, sometimes followed by adoration. 

i feel sorry about not knowing the other actors but this one’s for nam yoon su. because you have to write about the cute guy with irresistible dimples. that’s like the common rule of existing in the harsh world. as a rookie actor (not really rookie to me because i’ve seen him in extracurricular before and he was also amazing there). his character didn’t stood up so much here, but he was this comfort character you had to see. and i’m SO glad he wasn’t a blank character. the way i almost felt like i fell in love watching the cremating scene.

shall we start on the other characters and plots? my pitiful brain couldn’t manage to remember every one of them, of course. but i AM absolutely loving the details. kang jin mook apparently has tics (if i’m not mistaken i’m sorry it has been a year since i’ve taken a neuropsychiatry class), and they showed details on how people with tics could have the symptoms milder when they’re focused. the movements or manifestations could be worse depending on their mental state or any other stimulus. park jeong je might or might not have a ptsd (not really sure about this, let me check on dsm), the way his brain could only recall some parts of a memory because a big chunk of it was very traumatic. 

it’s getting too long now, hope i could plug in a specific scene i love.

[shinidamachu]

So i watched the second movie, the castle beyond the looking glass, and i have so many thoughts, be prepared cause the list is L O N G

1. The art style. The plot. Naraku popping up randomly... i ugly laughed. Seriously I was barely paying attention to the movie, i sorta of listened to it instead of watching, you know what i mean?

2. The fact the the movie IS and ISN'T canon at the same time?????

A) Shippo was barely able to hold kagome alone by the end of season 6, during the episode about the rats eating people. Suddenly, he can float easily with Inuyasha and Miroki over him????? Plot Hole™

B) And the movie happened before episode 137, when Shouto's ancestor shows up again, still in love with kagome. So it's canon here

C) At the same time, inuyasha and kagome kissed in the movie, but this was never mentioned in the series??? (I know about their kiss in the final act but the fact this moment is simply forgotten is just U G HHHhhHHHHHhhH) Plot Hole™ check

D) Something that affects hanyo no yashahime: miroki realized, in the movie, how weak he was without the hole in his hand.  You're telling me he forgot???? Then it only took him like TWENTY FUCKING YEARS to go on a journey to get stronger ??????? Plot Hole™ check [again]

E) The fact that kagome's belongings and everything from the "future" protected everyone from Kaguya's spells and power, but somehow kagome herself wasn't immune even tho she is from the future??? Plot Hole™ check [once again]

3. Talking about Shouto's ancestor... he was the best drawn character and i find that sad

4. Naraku's true form being the most Standard™ spider ever lol

5. Inuyasha's "scary face" also made me ugly laugh

6. Kikyo showing up as the movie's god ex machina: shoots a single arrow then turns around saying "i'll leave the rest for you, inuyasha". Series inuyasha would have RAN for her immediately to have an entire conversation and somehow arrive in time to save his friends

7. Why did the movie start with Sesshomaru and then he vanished? Plot Hole™ check [one more time]

8. Please don't tell me that Kagome is gonna be the damsel in distress in the next two movies i can't handle this anymore

9. You know that scene from Shrek where everyone's yelling names? The movie had a scene like that every 5 minues which may be one of the main reasons why i couldn't take it seriously

10. Did you watch the movie in portuguese? Shippo sounds like a teen whose voice is changing, what did they do to my precious baby?????

btw the dubs' grammar mistakes while speaking... i know it was mean to sound informal and how people actually talk but it was too far

This. All of this!

Just don’t take them too serious. Most of the fandom don’t.

I never watch any Inuyasha content in portuguese because I can’t for the life of me stand their voices and “Aome.” It just feels wrong, wrong, wrong.

I did, however, write a oneshot about what would happen after the events of the second movie. It’s basically Inukag making out because I’m self indulgent and nobody can stop me. 

Here’s a link, if you want to check it out: Kiss Me

[weaselbeaselpants]

That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3

The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore. 

Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.

VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV

((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:

Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))

^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN

also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))

^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -

This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^

VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^

VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV

((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.

WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))

^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.

THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV

^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.

fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.

Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv

VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV

VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV

((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV

VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV

VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV

VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV

VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV

------

I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.

Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.

It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?” 

Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.

Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.

Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.

If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!

ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.

Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.

People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.

Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.

But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.

TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.

The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.

They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.

I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.

Eat shit.

[slade-neko]

My Thoughts on Super Smash Bros

Just something I wanted to write up since Smash Bros is one of my favorite game series and kinda got me into video games.  (WARNING: Its fairly long...)

Super Smash Bros. (N64 & Melee)

Super Smash Bros. was my first 3D game. Got it one year for Christmas when I was a little kid with a Nintendo 64. That game introduced me to video games. Before that I had only played Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt on my parents’ NES console. I wasn’t hooked on video games until I got my hands on a Nintendo 64. “Whoa! The graphics are so 3D!” It also introduced me to so many major Nintendo characters I did not know about like Link, Samus, Fox, and Kirby. It was the best gateway a kid could ask for to “get into” video games. Inevitably I ended up getting a Gamecube with Super Smash Bros. Melee as my first game on it too. Melee was great just like reliving that original feeling all over again. What made these games even more special was unlocking the characters. In a time before internet, you had no clue who was in the game and how to unlock them. The excitement of seeing that “Challenger Approaching” screen was like nothing else. A lot of your information came from questionable  sources of kids at school. Rumors with no real answers (until you get an official guide book.) No internet leaks or spoilers. Those were good times! 

One word I would use to describe the overall feel I got from Smash 64 and Melee would be Classic!

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Years later, Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out. I’m not sure why, but I really got into that game. It was probably due to the timing and circumstances. The longest wait between Smash games being Melee to Brawl was 7 years and that brought a lot of desire for a new Smash game for me. Also the memories of being a kid playing this with my friends after school on weekends, big sleepovers, using the game’s crappy wi-fi connection, good times! I also did not understand the game’s mechanics as a kid and why people hated them, so I couldn’t complain about that. The art style of the game wasn’t necessarily my favorite, but it worked well for that game. It went from the bright vivid colors of Melee to a more dull, colorless, gritty style. Best example is Ocarina of Time Link being swapped over to Twilight Princess. Oh, and the game really picked up as a lot of fun when I began modding it. Turns out Wii’s were very easy to Homebrew and Brawl was fairly easy to mod. That brought out a HUGE replay value of installing new mods, making my own mods, and all sorts of endless possibilities with the game. Getting Project M (a fan mod for Brawl that reworked the entire game more competitively) really opened my eyes to the competitive side of Smash and showed me why normal Brawl was so bad.

One word I would use to describe the overall feel I got from Brawl from its art style, orchestrated full choir theme, to its fantastic Subspace Emissary cutscenes would be Epic!

Super Smash Bros. 4 

Smash eventually died down for another 6 years until Super Smash Bros. 4 came out. Man, Smash 4 was exciting because “Hey, new Smash game!”, but seeing it in full... it was honestly very weird. The 3DS version launching first felt like a big demo... at 240 pixels... wow. (I hated 3DS for taking wonderful games like Smash, Monster Hunter, the N64 Zelda remakes and dragging them into a low resolution, portable Hell!) That aside, I forcibly played the 3DS version until the Wii U one came out. Then the true game began and well it still wasn’t the Smash I was hoping for. It was fun, some cool new characters, but some more cuts too. Questionable new game mechanics among other things that made gameplay pretty un-fun. Hearing about how the 3DS version dragged down the Wii U version was quite disheartening too like Ice Climbers getting cut because they simply would not work on 3DS and the two games just HAD to be the same was stupid. The 3DS was a horrible anchor weighing down the game. Oh, and I don’t think they had a very clear direction with the art style of this game... The Zelda characters are still Twilight Princess designs, but are now bright and vivid? It just looks weird and out of place for them. Ganondorf looks exceptionally ugly because of that. 

One word I would use to describe the overall feel I got from Smash 4 from its theme music and the whole game’s aesthetic feels very Sporty. 

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Not long after and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate came out of the dark to save the day. Ultimate is really amazing. They took the crappy Smash 4 and cut its chains from the 3DS so it could soar above and beyond. A lot of it is Smash 4 assets ported over from the Wii U to a better console, the Switch. They somehow got EVERY single character back with a ton of new ones, almost every stage, so much amazing music, and well it truly is deserving of the Ultimate title in terms of content! 

So the game is pretty great and has A LOT of content, but its still not without issues (at least for me.) This is me being overly critical with the game and my MELEE FANBOY BULLSH*T opinions coming through, but there are quite a few things I don’t like about this game. The theme music (albeit catchy) is super sappy anime bullcrap music. I don’t mean that in a negative way, despite how I worded it, IT is very sappy anime music about the forces of good fighting evil together. The World of Light mode isn’t a lot of fun at least for me it wasn’t. It wasn’t Subspace Emissary, which I know its wasn’t meant to replace it. I had the most fun with Adventure mode in Melee and would’ve preferred to have a little mode similar to that instead. Spirits are seriously just the stickers from Brawl. I frequently call them that unintentionally when playing the game. Doing Spirit Board battles is nowhere near as fun as doing nicely planned out battles like Melee’s Event Matches (nothing can top Event Match 51!) Spirit Battles are typically just jokes that can be beaten in less than a minute. Also no trophies... I understand why they chose not to because of how much work they require, but it still doesn’t mean I can’t miss them. The gameplay is definitely an improvement over Smash 4, but I still crave that fast paced action Melee/ Project M had. Heavier gravity, harder to recover, quicker to KO, L-Canceling, hit-stun and proper combo potential are all things that made faster, higher speed action. I’m not super big into the competitive scene, but even I think the faster pace of Melee-style gameplay is far more fun to play and watch. 

Then there’s issues created because the devs are pushing too much into the competitive side of the game such as picking stages first then characters second, not having the game remember my character when returning from a match, having to make new rulesets just to change a few options. I’m pretty sure these are all things competitive people want that help out in tourney situations and stuff, but I don’t like them for normal matches. These are small issues in the long run, but I am bothered by them every time I play and I don’t see them ever changing that. All they need is a few new options to fix this. Toggle an option for stage select or character select first, a quick customizable ruleset option and have saved rulesets separately, and the option to remember your fighter. Heck they could even go a step further have it remember your preferred color to each character saved to your name data like how Smash 4 3DS did (that was a cool feature!)

The one word I would use to describe Smash Ultimate is HYPE! Nothing builds hype like a Smash Ultimate trailer. Every single trailer builds more hype for this game. From the original reveal trailer with the Inklings, Ridley, King K. Rool, and now Sephiroth?! Seeing those trailers, I can’t help, but smile and get hyped up and excited! Despite my nitpicky issues I have with the game, I can still say its a pretty darn good Smash game! I applaud Sakurai, the dev team, and Nintendo for going big with this game and putting so much effort into it and I can still enjoy it even if its not quite at the exact level I want.

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 2

Summary: You're a fantasy-loving, LARPing human from this world, who's the black sheep of society because of your obsession for the unreal and alienation of what's real. When you're in the middle of a LARP battle with some pretty phony boars, you fall out of a tree and bust your head. You wake up, alone, and are suddenly attacked by some very pissed-off, very real wargs. Without any idea of how you got there, you got dropped into Middle-Earth, with only bits and pieces of memories of Tolkien's masterpiece, though your recollection of everything else is perfectly clear. And of all places in Middle-Earth, you got dropped into Mirkwood, with some suspicious, potentially hostile, Woodland Elves...

Chapter No.: Chapter 1

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color

Notes: Listen to Medieval Pagan Music, Runestones when reading this chapter.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, Boromir lives, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Worm Tongue Grima Wormtongue, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

When I said I hated reality, I didn't mean I wanted to be ripped from it without my family.

How they'd healed you so efficiently was beyond your comprehension, and nobody came to visit you. You couldn't bring yourself to eat much of what they brought you. To think you'd finally gotten your wish, you'd finally, somehow gotten sucked into some alternate reality where fiction was fact and what you'd known and lived in for your entire life was nonexistent... It was amazing. Surreal.

But you couldn't stay here. Not without your family. Not without your mom, not without [B/N], not without [S/N]. [F/N]... You wished you could've at least said goodbye to him. Life without the only people you'd ever had seemed unreal, incomprehensible, and too nightmarish. Too... Alone. You couldn't lose them.

For hours, you waited, pacing the ten-by-ten cell furiously. You had to find some way to get out, some way to find whatever portal you'd triggered... A sound at the barred door made you freeze in place, whipping around like a meerkat. It was Blue-Eyes, and some of his guards, one of which was unlocking the door. "Are you letting me go?"

Blue-Eyes stared at you as if trying to figure out whether or not you were desperate or stupid. Finally, he shook his head, probably deciding it was most likely both in your case. Well, screw him. "My father wishes to see you."

You glanced to each of the guards that came to grip either of your arms. "Is that... Bad?"

Blue-Eyes smirked. "It depends on his mood."

You glared at him as the other two Elves ushered you out of the door, onto the precariously thin ledge just outside of the cell. "You're trying to freak me out, aren't you?"

Blue-Eyes didn't answer, but took up the rear of the procession. They lead you to a platform overlooking all of the mazelike bridge-sets of the dungeons, and opened a pair of elaborately crafted doors. You balked, your jaw fell, your eyes widened as far as they'd go, stunned by the view.

The building you'd thought was surrounded by trees? It was a palace-city, which stretched back from the front wall as far as you could see. And it was made entirely of trees. Bridges of wood, twisting trunks, curling pillars of wood holding up a vaultrf ceiling which opened up to the orange-gold canopy, and beyond, the cloudless blue sky. Huge, arched windows with stained glass of amber filled the front wall, framed in wood, every few dozen feet, letting in a golden light that made the entire place seem more surreal than it already was. Leaves fell too slowly here, as if afraid that touching the ground would destroy their fabulousness. Elves inhabited every floor, sailing gracefully around like gorgeous swans that glared down at the sudden ugly duckling in their midst.

You felt tiny.

"This is your home?" You breathed in amazement, going where the guards took you on autopilot as you drank in the magnificent sight. "It's bigger than the town I live in!"

"This is just a small portion of it," Blue-Eyes had a hint of pride in his voice. You glanced over your shoulder to see him taking in the view with a faint smile on his face. "This part is my father's palace. Only nobles and militia reside here."

"It's beautiful..." You surveyed the palace in awe. I'm here. I'm really here! This is where I'm supposed to be! "Do you all have different floors? Is it flameproof? What happens if there's a forest fire? Can you even get forest fires here?"

"Why would you like to know?" Blue-Eyes demanded sharply, all kindness gone just as suddenly as it'd arrived, replaced with obvious suspicion and disdain.

You sighed, and dropped the subject. You wouldn't be finding anything out about this place today. The guards lead you up a short flight of stairs, which stopped at a huge circular pavilion, lined with a different type of guard in silver armor and navy-blue masks covering their lower faces. They stood almost impossibly still, and each carried a deadly spear.

More stairs, curving upward from each side of the pavilion, lead to a massive throne of carved wood. A regal Elf lounged on it, holding a curled wooden staff. He wore silver robes lined on the inside with a deep crimson, and a crown of thin branches styled like an elk's antlers --or maybe a thornbush-- sat atop his head of snow-white hair. Piercing blue eyes watched you from underneath strangely dark (And thick.) brows, but his catlike face was drawn into an unreadable expression.

Blue-Eyes stepped before you and the guards, and put his right arm over his chest, fist resting over his heart, as he bowed at the waist. "My king, we have brought the prisoner."

Inwardly, you winced. What kind of father forced his son to call him 'my king'?

The Elvenking flicked his fingers toward the guards on either side of you. "Leave us."

As they left with barely a clink of armor, Blue-Eyes grabbed you roughly by the shoulder, forcing you to your knees. His grip was like iron. He leaned down to snarl in your ear, "Show respect. His majesty has shown you a great kindness in allowing you to live."

Aw, fuck. You forgot that these guys had healed you. If Lord Fabulous over there had decided that by even so much as breathing near his lands you didn't deserve for your wounds to be healed, you'd be dead right now. "O-oh..." You quickly fixed your position, and even bowed your head with an arm over your chest, like Blue-Eyes had done. "Sorry..."

"My son tells me he found you trying to escape from warg-bound orcs on our northern border," Elvenking drawled slowly. Wargs... Those big dogs... Why does that sound familiar? Were they in a book? Mythology? A game? You couldn't remember, and Elvenking didn't give you time to. "You were found near-death, and without any apparent recollection of how you came to be there. Is that correct?"

You weren't sure how to adress him. "Yes, sir. My lord. Your majesty. I'm sorry."

Elvenking continued. "Would you like to elaborate on what you do remember?"

His tone wasn't kind. It was "Tell me bitch or I will throw you off into the chasms below."

And there were lots of chasms.

"You won't believe me," You started, and risked a glance; Blue-Eyes and Elvenking watched you warily. You could easily say you were from this world, but you didn't know anything about it. You couldn't lie believably. And even if you could, Elves can sense lies. You figured you'd get some extra points if you were totally honest. "But I'll tell you anyway." So you started out with your explanation of coming from a place called Earth, and that you'd been having a battle against some pretty fake boars played by unconvincing actors in Live Action Roleplay, when you'd fallen out of a tree, banged yourself up, and knocked yourself out. You then proceeded to explain about the big dogs and the orcs.

Elvenking lifted his chin slightly for the sole purpose of glowering at you. "Tell me more of this... Earth." You told him all you could. About cars and trains and jets and phones, then on to TVs and movies, and the huge skyscrapers, and how modern slang was different from what it had been, and how where you came from, Elves and orcs and dragons were all part of a genre known as fantasy. You even tried, for a brief period of time, to explain the subject of eMail and social sites like Tumblr and Twitter, but you gave up at their odd looks as they tried to comprehend the concept. You told them about all seven continents, presidents, world leaders, endless wars, hunger, trashing the planet and all other shit that was wrong with Earth.

You could've been there for hours explaining it all. When you were finished, Elvenking regarded you like he'd just came to the conclusion that you just weren't normal. "It seems, [Y/N], that your world is poisoned."

"It is!" You agreed excitedly. "Nobody cares about it anymore! It's why I grew up to be so... Un-normal, by my world's standards."

"I see..." Elvenking blinked slowly. "Then you are, since you are a spawn of this Earth, equal poison to this world, are you not?"

All the blood drained from your face. "What?"

He looked to Blue-Eyes. "Kill them."

Blue-Eyes gripped you by the back of the head, and your hands flew to his wrist as he yanked your head back. With a flourish, he drew one of his ivory-handled knives and pressed it to your throat. "Wait!" You screamed, and Elvenking raised a hand.

"Last words?" Blue-Eyes sneered.

"I don't know where I am," You choked out quickly; the cool steel of the blade was digging into your neck, cutting a fine line. "I don't know how I got here, but usually when stuff like this happens in movies, there's always a portal. Let me find it-- send an escort if you want! Take me back to where you found me, and I'll find the portal and go home. You'll never see me again!"

Elvenking dropped his hand, and your heart jumped, expecting your head to go with it. "Do you really think that is wise? I sense no dishonesty from you, but you could very well be a spy from your world, which seems so intent on conquering and destroying peace. I will not let this world, much less my own land, fall prey to yours."

"I won't tell anyone about you, or this place, I promise! I don't even know where this is!" Tears of frustration pricked the corners of your eyes. "I'm not a damn spy! I don't even know how I got here! Give me a couple of days to find the portal. Then I'll leave. What if there was a way for you to know I'll keep my word? Like a blood-oath, or something!"

"And if asked where you had gone?" Blue-Eyes countered, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'll tell them I went to Narnia, dammit! They never take me seriously anyway!" Your eyes widened. "This isn't Narnia, is it? Narnia didn't have Elves!"

"No, this is not... Narnia." Elvenking replied. "And you will not know the name of this land. You have three days to find your portal. You will be accompanied by a small assembly of my best warriors. If you do not find the door to your world within the given three days... I will give the order to kill you."

You swallowed hard. The steel dragged across your throat painfully. "Th-that sounds fair." It didn't, but, you just rolled with it.

"Legolas, you will go with them," Elvenking said; something clicked in your mind. You knew that name... You knew that name. But... Why?

Blue-Eyes-- Legolas-- nodded and finally removed the blade from your throat. Lord Fabulous inclined his head once, and you vaguely thanked him, too concerned with how you knew Blue-Eyes's name. He kept a tight, painful grip on your arm, actually digging his fingers in until you were pretty sure he cut off most of your circulation.

When you reached your cell, he thrust you in roughly, making you stumble forward. You whipped around to glare at him. "Could you be careful, Blue-Eyes?"

He paused in locking the door. Confused, he brought his sapphire eyes to meet your [e/c] ones. "What did you just call me?"

"Blue-Eyes," You suddenly felt a little embarassed about picking a nickname for him. Shit, you'd never let that bother you before. He could screw off. "I didn't know your name until a few minutes ago, so... I just picked something to call you."

He raised an eyebrow incredulously. "And you chose to call me after my eyes." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

You flushed a little, glancing to the side with only your eyes nervously, then back to him. "Uh... Yeah. That's pretty much it."

He rolled his eyes and walked away. Before you even realized what you were doing, you'd ran to the bars and grabbed hold of them, pressing your cheek up against them to watch him walk away. "Blue-Eyes!" He stopped, but didn't turn around. "Your name... Legolas. I think I've heard it before."

He turned his head slightly, like he might be interested, but your hopes fell through the floor when he just continued walking. You immediately wished you'd've said something to get his attention, so he'd come talk to you. Like, Hey, I'm really a spy for Earth, MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ok, maybe not that drastic...

But you did wish he'd stayed to talk to you. Even if he'd tried to kill you. Legolas... You slid down the bars, sitting on the floor. Your knees came up to your chest of their own accord. Legolas... What do your Elf eyes see? You knew that you knew his name, but where did you know it from?

They're taking...

Aw, damn. It was right on the tip of your brain. Lord Fabulous looked really familiar, too. He reminded you of Ronan the Accuser from Marvel. Why couldn't you remember? Was it a side-effect of being tossed to another reality? What else did you not remember...?

You sat there for hours, until one of the guards brought you some food. You picked at the meal, as a tune got stuck in your head that you couldn't quite place...

Home is behind...

The world ahead...

Here, the song fizzed out like a radio signal, then you got another bit of it...

All shall fade..

All shall...

...Fade...

~ominous time skip~

You, Blue-Eyes, and a team of Elvish warriors like the ones who'd helped you escape the dogs and orcs set out at dawn, which was way too early for someone used to getting up at noon most of the time. All the Elves showed off their glowy perfect selves by leaping gracefully to pebble to pebble like the regal shits they were, including Blue-Eyes.

Actually, scratch that. Blue-Eyes was the fucking king of being a show-off.

They moved fast, and you were surprisingly able to keep up with them. Not one of the Elves wanted to speak to you; they seemed to consider you an abomination.

You kinda seen what they were getting at, though. You were still in your bright white, blue, and black sci-fi Elf outfit from yesterday, complete with the latex ears and bright blue faux-hawk, which had become much less faux-hawk-y after sleep. You were covered in dried blood, dirt, and parts of your outfit were ripped. You'd tried to clean up as best as you could when you were woken up by using the water from the cup you'd been given to scrub your face and arms with the stunningly clean sheets on your cot.

In other words, you stuck out like a bright blue flower in a field of dark grass. You didn't know the way back to the river, so most of the Elves surrounded you discreetly while Blue-Eyes took the lead. Every one of them had a bow or sword or knife out and ready, so one wrong sniff and you were dead.

You traveled for about an hour before anyone spoke. It was Blue-Eyes, to your surprise. "Why is your hair blue?"

"Huh?" Of all possible questions, that one hadn't been expected. Though, that was kind of dumb of you, to just assume they wouldn't eventually wonder if everybody from your world had crazy hair colors.

"Your hair," Blue-Eyes specified, sounding condescending, like his hair was much better than yours because it was long and perfect and almost white. "Why is it blue?"

"Oh," You cleared your throat. "It's dye. My real color is [h/c]. Lots of people do it where I come from. You can dye it a natural color, or an unnatural color, like so. Some keep their natural color and just add streaks that aren't their natural colors. Some dye their full hair, like me, for the sole purpose of cosplay--uh, dressing up as made-up characters for events--and others dye it just for fun. Or to stand out, I guess. But I wouldn't advise it. It ruins your hair. I just don't care, though."

"Why would anyone want to do that?" One Elf asked in horror, then sneered at you. "I suppose those of your world simply do not appreciate the naturalities of the body."

You shrugged. You should see the LGTBQ+ community... But you didn't feel like explaining any of that to these people right now. Especially when they obviously looked down on stuff like that.

"And what character are you meant to be?" Blue-Eyes asked in a challenging tone.

You flushed. "... A sci-fi Elf."

"...Sci-Fi?" A different Elf asked. "What is that?"

"Science fiction," You specified. "Basically, I'm supposed to be an Elf from another planet. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Is that why you have pointed ears?" Blue-Eyes questioned, and you nodded.

"Yeah. They're latex-- a kind of rubber. Wait, do you even have rubber here?" You waved a hand. "Nevermind. They can come off pretty easily, though. Speaking of which, I'd better take them off before they cause damage..." You reached up to one of your ears, despite the looks the Elves gave you.

Blue-Eyes stopped for a minute, halting the whole group. He looked at you like you were crazy. "Whyever would you put something on your body that could cause damage?"

You blinked. "That is a very good question, Blue-Eyes, and one I don't exactly have an answer for. Almost everybody does it at some point." You felt for the flap of latex, but you couldn't find it. Hell, you couldn't even find the edge of the prosthetic. "Oh shit..." You breathed.

"What is it?" Legolas huffed, and turned around impatiently.

Your eyes widened; you couldn't let them think you were panicking, but, well, you were, and shortly after, you did. "I-I can't get it off."

Blue-Eyes's brow furrowed. "Will it cause permanent damage if they are not removed?"

"Maybe? Yes? My skin goes red and itchy and starts to swell up if I touch latex for too long, so, I'm gonna go with a definitely on this one. Just keep walking. I should have them off by the time we get to the river."

But you didn't. There was no flap, no edge of the latex. If it weren't for the fact that you did put latex ears on, you wouldn't have known you had latex ears on. A suspicion grew in your core, so you grabbed hold of the pointed tip, and pinched down with your nails hard and fast. "Ow!"

Every Elf turned to look at you as you pulled your hand away. Some blood was on the tips of your fingers. "Why, in the name of the Valar, would you hurt yourself?" Legolas sighed like a parent lecturing a child, but you were staring at your fingertips in shock. Valar...

"I'm an Elf..."

"I beg your pardon?" Apparently the mere thought of being the same race as you was too much for Blue-Eyes to handle. It was fucking offensive.

"I'm an Elf!" You shouted, and snatched your hand to your chest. "The ears won't come off! They bled and hurt when I pinched them! I'm a damn Elf! When I fell through that portal, I was a normal human! Now I'm an Elf! I don't know whether I should be freaking out or excited!"

Legolas rolled his eyes. "It won't be permanent. Obviously, here you're an Elf. There, you're not. When we get you through the portal, you'll be a human again."

"But..." I don't want to be human... Yet, you were also trying desperately to get back to your family, on pain of death and loss of cool fantasy land. If only you'd wake up to learn you were in some kind of damn coma...

You waved your hands. "Ok. Alright, fine. Is this where you found me?"

Legolas gestured to a particular rock. "The exact spot. Do you think you could find your way from here?"

You smirked; you'd always been good at knowing your way. "Please. I was born with an innate sense of direction. Now how the fuck do we get over this damn river?"

Legolas grinned. "You're an eldar now, aren't you? See if you can get across it yourself." Eldar... That had to mean an Elf of some sort, right?

You stared him down for a second, hands on your hips. He smirked cockily back, pure smugness on his expression. "Ok. Sure. What's life without risk?"

So you took a deep breath, and headed for the opposite bank.

You and your siblings had this special hiking trail in a park, and on this trail was a creek slash pond area. Several of them. You'd always cross the creek carefully, each step placed just so, and quietly, too, so that you could see the frogs-- it was a frog hunt without actually killing said frogs. The exercise gave you all good balance and a know-how for shit not that rock.

But this river was much different than the creek back home. It was clear, and clean, and strong as fuck, so one wrong move and you'd be whooshed away, with Blue-Eyes giving Lord Fabulous the excuse of "Oh they died in the river tragically oops..."

The rocks were unstable. The river swelled over them every so often to make them slippery. Your rubber boots were less than zero help. But you were an Elf now, right? So that had to make you unfairly agile. You took another deep inhale, then took what you hoped was a graceful leaping step, only for you to slip and nearly bust your ass. Elvish powers have to be learned. Noted.

When you finally got to the other side of the bank, you were stiff, and your heart was pounding. Behind you, the Elves sneered and jeered and all kinds of other "eers". You whipped around, and flipped them off. They looked somewhere between shocked, offended, and terrified. You realized they might not know the symbolism of it, and might think you were cursing them. When they reached you, Blue-Eyes was the first to demand what that was all about. "What was that all about?!"

You panicked under pressure. "U-uh... I-it's a minor insult where I come from. Very minor. We use it frequently as a joke among close friends. A friendly insult. Yeah. Sorry. Won't happen again." He totally didn't believe you. So you quickly changed the subject. "O-oh, uh, this way!"

Scenery seen at night was harder to recognize during the day, and vise versa, but you knew you hadn't gone too far up the river when you came across some massive paw prints and scrape marks from where you'd skidded down the bank. Another bonus clue was the scrap of bright blue fabric, from your skirt/tunic thing, hanging precariously from a branch.

It took you the better part of an hour to find the tree you'd woken up at. "Okay, this it it."

"Are you certain?" Blue-Eyes asked you.

"Wait." You laid down, and yep, everything was the same, except in daylight. Legolas frowned at you as you stood, probably ashamed to even breathe the same air as you. "Yeah, this is it."

Blue-Eyes ordered something in Elvish, jerking his head. The Elves immediately set about making camp. "So, in your world, you fell from the highest branches of an oak, yes?"

"Yep, breaking several things in the process."

"And you lost consciousness after you hit the forest floor?"

"Yep."

Legolas hummed and looked up into the canopy. "Then by all means... The portal should be where you laid."

You glanced down at your feet before bouncing up and down a little. "Nope. Nothing."

Legolas huffed. "You may have to try climbing this tree and falling into this spot."

A deranged laugh escaped your throat, which you quickly stifled. "I'm sorry, but are you crazy? What if I die? We don't have the same healing stuff as you guys unless you can pay for it up front, and I'm very poor. So is all of my family. We can't afford that shit. So if I die, what's the point in going back?"

Legolas glared at you. "I didn't mean from very high. Just high enough to hopefully send you through, but not high enough to kill you. Your healers will mend broken bones, will they not?"

You scoffed dejectedly. "Yeah, but for a pretty hefty bill..." You threw your hands up. "Whatever. I'll die anyway if I don't try. Might as well." With Legolas watching you carefully to make sure you didn't try to jump from tree to tree, you started to climb.

Was it really only yesterday that you'd been having a fun, standard LARPing day with your family and [F/N]? The real world seemed like fantasy, now. This felt real. This felt like where you should be. But if your family weren't here, you wouldn't be able to enjoy it. You'd always feel as if you abandoned them. You wondered, did time pass differently? Did it go faster there, and slower here? Or was it the other way around? Would you find the portal, and return to the real world to find your family long gone and the year a thousand into the future? Then you'd wish you'd never left this place. Or would you find not a moment had passed, and to them, it was still the terrifying moment of not knowing if you were dead or alive, to find you unharmed? Would you then be able to convince them to fall through, even on the chance that the portal could only be used a handful of times, and if it did work, would a millenia had passed here? Even Blue-Eyes would've aged by that point, however slightly.

Once you'd reached a suitable height, you braced yourself against the trunk. "How's this?"

Legolas nodded. "Fine. Jump when you're ready.”

You took a minute... Ah... Better get this over with. One does not simply... Damn, what was that meme? "Ok, ready when you are."

Legolas stepped back, and waited; you hesitated, then jumped, and you felt deja vu as you barreled toward the ground, landing flat on your back. The impact knocked the wind out of you, and you felt a painful snap in your right ribcage. You kept your eyes closed; you heard nothing aside from the birds in the trees. You hoped, then hoped some more, expecting at any moment to hear the frantic footfalls of your family rushing to help you...

"Well, I see I was entirely wrong on the matter," Blue-Eyes stated simply, and you frowned. Fuck...

"Ya think? I'm still seeing priss-ass Elves in a goddamn forest that isn't the one I fell in. Fuck you, Blue-Eyes, for having me break a rib for no good damned reason." You glared at him as you tried to sit up, barely making it halfway before Legolas helped you, albeit roughly.

"Watch your tongue," Blue-Eyes snapped. "If it were not for us, you would be dead."

You pursed your lips. "You're gonna kill me anyway just for breathing on your trees, so why didn't you just let me die?"

For a second, Legolas seemed to feel pity for you. "I am sorry. Truly, I am. Perhaps if we fail to locate your way home, I could convince my father to refrain from executing you."

You huffed, wincing as the action hurt your broken-on-some-level ribs. "Why? So I can live the rest of my suddenly immortal life in a dark cell, underground, just for existing? Hell no. I'd rather die."

"Perhaps you could have another use," Legolas offered, and you shook your head.

"Never in my life have I been considered useful." You eyed Blue-Eyes disdainfully. "Ever. By anybody. If you can find a place for somebody like me that doesn't involve imprisonment, fine. But I won't be able to live with myself if I can't find a way back to Earth. I need my family. They're all I ever had."

Legolas knelt beside you. "You... Seem to be very close with them. You love this..." He looked off into the trees, searching for the word. "...Life, so much, and have wished for it for so long, but you'd give it up, to be with them in a world that does not want you... You have a brave heart."

You took the compliment. "Thanks. Now let's find this damn portal, shall we? I've got a couple more ribs to bust."

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