#i know the idea isn't knew but as i thought about it i knew i had to draw it

[hawthornsword]

I thought I was going to have this exact situation in my intro to creative writing course as well. Especially because almost 100% of my university professors tended to be that exact type of egotistal asshole who refuse to have any new ideas or uodate their imformation, or ever allow themselves to be questioned, as if tenure is some sort of godhood.

But happily I got semi lucky in this case. Because our prof didn't allow us to write sci-fi/fantasy either, and I was ready to be deeply offended by that, assuming that he was like the prof mentioned above, but then he was like. It's only because its an intro class, 3 hours a week to give an overview. You are writing tiny little short stories. You Do Not Have Time to do all the world building required in a sci-fi/fantasy story like Lord of the Rings when we are here to focus on things like how story structure works and why your stories being character driven is important . You will inevitably get bogged down in the details and neglect the important part of the story and miss the point and not finish your class assignments.

And I was like, okay fair enough, I guess can understant that. ...But I don't know if I can do that because I've literally never tried to write anything that isn't sci-fi/fantasy. I don't know how. It's boring.

But then of course we (the few of us in class who weren't boring at least) took that as a challenge. One guy wrote a story about sentient toothbrushes, but it wasn't fantasy, it was a metaphor. He did the same thing again, writing a story of two normal people having a conversation about unicorns. The story wasn't about unicorns though. Just a conversation about them, so that doesn't count. I wrote a story about a lady assassin who probably had super powers, or maybe some kind of soulmate bond with the guy she was after, but left it ambiguous by cutting it off before anything was properly explained, so then I had just written an action/mystery.

And the prof absolutely let us get away with it, and helped us make those stories better without telling us to not write something fantastical, because I think we all knew that at least some of us already understood how fantasy works and what it's for, and his goals weren't to put it down or prevent us writing it in general, but just to accomplish the specific goals of the class. It ended up being a decent class, although I had feared the worst at first.

... Though I'll be honest I probably learned more about writing, at least the way I like to write, from unicorn guy than the actual professor.

my creative writing prof also HATES fantasy. as in if she asks for an example of symbolism in a book, and you give something from a fantasy novel, she’ll ask for an example from a “non-commercial book” instead.

I dunno man, people can have preferences, but the second you discount the artistic merit of sci fi and fantasy I stop taking your opinion seriously. and there’s such a big culture in Canada of only valuing literary fiction, to the point where one of our biggest authors, Margaret Atwood, refused for a while to classify her books as sci fi or fantasy. she said they were “speculative fiction”, which is entirely separate and very highbrow (sarcasm).

and I could go on about how Octavia Butler and Ursula Le Guin wrote books every bit as intellectual (and honestly, even more so) than their literary counterparts, but I am also an enjoyer of schlock!! I think there’s artistic merit in animorphs, and in isekais where a japanese schoolgirl reincarnates into a magical spider who has to level up like it’s a video game! it’s like with everything, you can’t draw a clean line that separates ‘art��� from ‘non-art’ or even ‘lesser art’, and pretending you can do so just makes you look ignorant and goofy. in my opinion.

[mattslilies]

... barista!chris and academic weapon!reader have their first conversation ...

warnings: none!

lowercase intended <3

you'd come back to the coffee shop multiple times, but each day that you'd shown up, chris hadn't been there. you didn't know what he'd been up to, but he hadn't been behind the counter, and you hated the small bit of disappointment that rang through you.

unbeknownst to you, chris had also been experiencing the same disappointment each time you didn't show up while he was working. he didn't know why he was so fixated on you, but he definitely wasn't ignoring it.

today, you'd come back in, desperate for an escape and a sweet treat. you had a big exam coming up, and it was stressing you out, so you thought taking a walk and a little break would be good for you.

unfortunately, your perfectionist brain wouldn't let you just relax, so you had your laptop and books open on a table in the small cafe, your almost empty drink sitting to the right of you, dangerously close to spilling.

you had your back to the counter, and chris had been in the bathroom when you came in, so you had no idea that he was working today. at least, not until a cup was set down on your table, replacing the one that was almost gone.

you glanced up, seeing him standing next to you, staring down at your work. he spoke before you did.

"jesus. that looks like a shit ton of work."

you couldn't help but smile. he had no idea.

"trust me, it is."

he sat down in the chair across from you, pushing the cup closer to you.

"i figured you might need some more energy."

you gave him a look.

"are you offering company as well?"

he smiled, a confident one.

damn it, why did his smile have to be so pretty?

"unless you tell me to go away."

you shook your head.

"no, no, you can stay. but don't you have work to do?"

"i'm on my break. i have thirty minutes of freedom! isn't it wonderful?"

he had this wide grin on his face, and it was contagious. looking back down to continue writing notes, you couldn't help but smile at his joking around.

"exhilarating, even."

"so, do a speed run, and tell me about yourself."

thirty minutes flew by faster than ever before. he was easy to hold a conversation with, and your multitasking skills were pretty good, so you managed to get a good bit of work done.

you found out he was nineteen, had been working at the cafe for coming up on three years, and what he did for fun. you were most shocked about the revelation that he was a triplet, and he had quite enjoyed showing you photos and making you guess which one was him.

you'd missed quite a few, and he had an amused smile on his face.

"it's fine, you'll get better at telling us apart as you get to know me."

you raised an eyebrow, the same level of amusement on your face.

"who said i was going to keep getting to know you?"

he shrugged, getting up, about to walk away to go back to work.

"my coworkers said you've been back about five times now. i think it's safe to assume you'll be back again soon."

he didn't give you a chance to respond, just smiling at you and walking back behind the counter.

as you two went back to your respective work, you both knew he was right.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[barrenclan]

Hello! loved the latest issue, the absolute gut-punch in that last page of the clan’s reaction to fining Asphodelpaw will stick with me for a long time.

I had a question regarding the different ways you approach writing religion in your two comics. You’ve stated that there is no concrete afterlife in PATFW, and it reflects in how the cats don’t look for signs or otherwise look for guidance in their ancestors. Contrasting that TDS has a huge starclan presence and starclan characters play a major role in the story.

I’d love to hear your thoughts both on the process and how it affects the various writing decisions one must make. And how you approach both stories based on how the characters in each story were raised/their beliefs.

Oh what a great question! I can definitely expand on this.

I'll start with TDS, because it was my first comic and it's a relatively simpler question. In TDS, "StarClan" isn't really a religion at all. I don't really tend to treat it as something that the cats believe in a metaphorical sense, or worship in any true way - really, it's narratively more like another dimension. Every Clan cat in TDS knows they will go to StarClan when they die, they can talk with their loved ones in their dreams, and there's very little mysticism about it in general. I refer to Applestar as a "god" sometimes, but that's only in a joking sense and her origins are entirely mundane. In all seriousness, her most accurate trope would be a mad sorceror, who gained a bunch of arcane power and took over the realm. And so in that sense, there is no faith required in TDS's StarClan. It just is, whether you believe in it or not. (Which is of course how it works in the canon books... but the books seem to lean on that belief-based aspect of it much more strongly anyways.)

PATFW contrasts that quite heavily; while StarClan does not exist, it is a lot more religiously inspired narratively. In the old Clans, StarClan was explicitly a religion worshipped by the Clan cats, and their belief in the afterlife was nothing more than a belief. In the present, though, that religion has been lost due to explicit repression by Wheatstar and the early BarrenClan cats. They believed that they had been abandoned by StarClan, and so their faith was lost. Cypressfoot and Nightberry were the only two who knew of the old faith, and I would say their views differed as well. Cypressfoot was a real adherent to the religion, in the same way that real-world devoted religious people are, and she would've believed she'd go to StarClan when she died. Nightberry is a little younger and so she wasn't raised in the environment of StarClan worship, but the idea of it connects with her emotionally, as a way to explain and support the burden of her preternatural abilities.

[sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep]

I'ma be real with y'all, I don't think America's massive size and the financial costs of travel are the biggest contributors to the attitudes we have here that make other countries go like

the provincial thing is honestly a fair statement, in the same vein as holding americans who voted for trump accountable - there are bigger reasons for both, but that doesn't minimize how much a lot of americans cultivate and maintain their ignorance to feel more comfortable.

I'd say more legitimate things to mention when talking about american's very self-centric attitudes towards global happenings are things like: the US media deliberately keeps up the image of the United States as a strong, independent world power who don't need no allies, aka the fact that when other countries send us aid in natural disasters or other Big Uh-Ohs, it generally isn't reported by large news outlets. I never knew for years that multiple people, both individuals and organized efforts by various other countries, would send aid to the US when we'd be hit by big hurricanes, fires, and other bad shit

the other day a coworker and I were talking about the recent swan-dive of relations between america and canada and they scoffed at the notion that canada has a military too, and that they also participated in conflicts like the mess in the middle east after 9/11 - But I can't disdain my coworker that much, cuz I didn't know this either until very recently. I'll bet you most americans don't know about the Article 5 collective defense clause NATO has, which was only ever invoked once, on America's behalf after the 9/11 attack, and had multiple countries sending troops to Afghanistan alongside US forces. Canada specifically sent out over 40 thousand. the US as an entity does nOT like to acknowledge when foreign aid has been helpful, and just that kind of 'we pretend we do not see it' attitude does a lot of quiet heavy lifting to influence american attitudes towards the international community.

Additionally, although its more common now than it has been in the past for americans to watch movies and tv from overseas, I'd guess most americans still mostly only watch media centered around american culture, or at least western, english-speaking media (Harry Potter and the Sherlock series are two non-american examples). Now, that's a little weird, considering how much of our media is marketed and consumed around the globe. the US has a LOT of soft power, but we don't import fiction from other places at nearly the same rate. So you end up with this weird correlation between a lot of folks overseas having some idea of american culture while the americans in question have very little exposure or knowledge of anybody else's culture

i mean I've come across quite a few pointed threads or comments online from people overseas about how entitled and aggravating american tourists can be, and I think this is part of why: americans are deliberately presented with a POV that centers them, while not addressing the interconnectedness of modern life in a first world country, and a lot of folks just don't have the curiosity or feel a need to investigate that. add to that the fact that america doesn't really push learning second languages in schools, and many americans won't ever travel overseas, AND that we only share borders with 2 other nations so we don't get a lot of land-based travel from other countries like you see in europe, and its not really all that shocking that the american people don't really grasp how the US fits in to international politics and going-ons

none of this is an excuse. honestly I think the best you can hope for from some americans if you call us out for this is a "well I never actually thought about it all", which is a pretty lackluster defense (i mean, all the moments for me personally where I went "what was i thinkin- oh wait I didn't think" have NOT been my finest), and unfortunately for a fair portion of people, there's a dependence on this worldview and a resulting emotional backlash when its challenged. Basically when a population is propagandized as much as the US is, realistically you don't get a bunch of doe-eyed innocents who mean well but don't know any better, you get a population with a high percentage of people who hold onto said propagandized image as part of their identity and act like ASSHOLES to any info that doesn't fit what they've already been told

its not that the americans you think of when you imagine the ignorant, entitled americans couldn't do/be better - its that people WON'T try to be doing better than they currently are if they believe 'better' is what's in front of them right now so there's no need to improve it

[aspenscore]

Author: Aspenscore

Title: A Mania Of Joels

Creative Commons License: A Mania Of Joels © 2025 by Aspenscore is licensed under CC BY 4.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Size: 384x512

(Really hoping the March 15 deadline includes March 15. I'm posting this before midnight on March 14 in my timezone, but it is already March 15 for Joel.)

Process TL;DR:

I've decided a group of Joels is called a mania.

My favourite part of Joel's season has been his many characters, as well as the Hermit Baths On Hermitcraft podcast, so I decided to combine those two things in this drawing.

This piece started as a bunch of sketches at work and took me about 20 hours to draw, plus an additional 8 hours fighting tech issues (including a crash that lost me the completed drawing (luckily I took this screenshot just before)).

Despite my struggles with that + screen rec software, there'll be a timelapse video of my drawing process coming soon on my channel!

Re: the title, I've decided a group of Joels is called a "mania" (like how a group of horses, for example, is a "herd").

One of my favourite things about Joel's season are all the fun intros and characters he's created, which inspired me to create something that showcases some of the main Joels we've met so far. I also really like the Hermit Baths On Hermitcraft (Another Podcast Hosted By A Straight White Male), so I figured the bathhouse would be the perfect place for a mania of Joels! I would've loved to include all the Joels, but by my count, there are at least 26 distinct Joels in this season so far, which is far too many Joels for me to fit in one image (and several of them are hard to distinguish based on appearance alone).

Since I could only include so many, I tried to choose Joels who are either recurring characters, or relevant to other things Joel has done in his videos. With that in mind, on this episode of Hermit Baths On Hermitcraft we've got Joel Who Asks You To Subscribe, News Reporter Joel, Bad Boy Joel (the statue counts as being in the season imo), Bartender (Horse Killer? :0) Joel, Officer Joel (RIP Detective Joel, would've loved to include him but it wouldn't be lore-accurate for him to be alive), Joel Who Totally Isn't Obsessed With Etho, Frogger Joel, Podcast Host Joel, and Singer Joel.

A few details I wanted to highlight:

News Reporter Joel always has a headline scroll bar with him. He doesn't know how or why. It's just there.

Joel Who Totally Isn't Obsessed With Etho not only has the Etho shirt on, but he's also in etho cosplay (headband) and has Etho face floaties (no idea where that came from but once I'd thought it I couldn't un-think it).

I'm most proud of Frogger Joel's outfit. He's got a froggy hat, frog crop top, lilypad shorts, and frog shoes with lilypad tops.

Singer Joel's kimono was originally going to have a pattern of symbols relating to Joel's season, but then I realized those wouldn't show up very well with the lowered resolution. The planned symbols included music discs, xp bottles, axolotls, slime balls, honeycomb, frogs, horses, glow squid, and glow berries.

Podcast Host Joel's abs are drawn on. Gem said it so it's canon.

Bartender Joel's vest is the same colour and pattern as that horse head...

And now for the process! I know a lot of you probably aren't that interested in it, but I spent a lot of time on this so I'd at least like to record my efforts.

This piece actually started on paper, because I work a lot and I knew I wouldn't have time to do the whole piece if I didn't at least do some advance planning during down time at my job. However, all I had at work was some scrap paper and a pencil (I couldn't even find an eraser the day I started this!), so I needed to find some way to get the aspect ratio correct without a ruler. While there were no rulers at work, I was able to find some mini origami paper, and since that's a perfect square, I was able to use it to replicate the sizing I'd chosen. I sketched out the general background layout, used two of those lines + the edge of another piece of paper to determine the vanishing point, then re-drew the rest of the background according to the point I'd determined. These techniques worked shockingly well, and when I scanned the drawing and checked my measurements in my drawing program, they were surprisingly accurate!

With the scan uploaded, along with a page of outfit design sketches I had also done at work, I ran into my next hurdle: screen recording software. To keep a long and agonizing story short, I draw on an old tablet that has very little storage, RAM, or processing power, so OBS + my drawing program were not an option. The drawing program itself doesn't have a timelapse feature either, so I had to go find another piece of software that would meet my needs. I even tried using my tablet as a third screen for my PC, which could absolutely handle the processing and storage needs of this project, but the latency was far too high for that to be a feasible option. Trying all of these options took at least 8 hours and at one point had the side effect of permanently messing up something on my main PC monitor that causes it to reset all its settings periodically (if anyone has any idea what's going on with that, I'd love to not have to re-do my settings every couple minutes or so).

My tablet's limited storage also resulted in me almost losing a portion of my footage, but you can rest assured that I've managed to save all of it, and if it's useable I will be editing it down into a timelapse + process video to upload to my channel! The video will probably include a lot of the information here, but hopefully it'll be a bit more interesting and engaging! (I was originally going to link the video here instead of writing all these paragraphs, but the drawing took so long I haven't had time to make the video).

Finally, after spending basically all of my free time at home during the past two weeks working on this drawing, I finished it just a couple hours ago.

I hit save.

And got an error message.

Storage issue.

Since the image resolution is intended to be reduced anyway (for minecraft painting, but also just how tumblr treats images), I grabbed a screenshot of the finished piece before my tablet crashed and rebooted. It saved some of my work, but not all of it, so this is now the only complete version of the piece in existence.

At the end of the day, I'm just glad I finished it on time and am happy with the final product. If you've read this far, thank you so much for your patience with my rambling, I hope you enjoy the final piece as much as I do. And thank you to Joel for creating such fun videos and awesome builds! I look forward to the rest of your first Hermitcraft season.

[grimesve1l]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a Rick smut where she is carls girlfriend (aged up of course so everyone is 18+) and he cheats on her with Enid so while she’s crying about it she runs into Rick and stuff happens maybe Carl catches them having sex or something?

Shattered

A/n: Tysm for your request!! I hope this meets your expectations!!<3

Summary: After catching your boyfriend cheating you never thought you'd find yourself sleeping with his dad but you're not mad about it.

Disclaimer: In this imagine, Carl, Enid and the reader are all in their mid 20's

Warnings: Swearing, age gap (mid 20s + late 30s/early 40s), cheating, angst, smut (mdni), p in v, getting caught

You were heading to you and Carl's favorite spot by the lake when you saw something that made your heart drop. Carl was sitting in his usual spot but instead of you by his side it was Enid. The two were in the middle of a heated make out and didn't notice you at all. Just as you were turning to get away from the awful sight Carl breaks away and makes direct eye contact with you.

He calls out to you but you were already moving towards your house that you unfortunately shared with Carl. Figuring that he would assume you were going to go to your house you decide to go somewhere else instead, somewhere he wouldn't expect. Having had a head start, you quickly escape his line of sight and make your way toward Carols house.

The two of you were close and you knew she would be able to comfort you about this. As you're crossing the street you run into someone. You had kept your head down so no one would notice your tears and weren't really paying attention to what was in front of you.

"Woah there, you alright Y/n? You sure are in a rush." You hear Rick say to you, still looking at the ground. "Sorry." you quickly mutter before attempting to walk around him. Rick grabs a hold of your arm to stop you. "Hold on a second, lemme see your face." he says suddenly curious about why you refuse to look up.

"Rick please, I need to go see Carol." you reply, hoping he'll let you go. "She isn't here, she's on a run with Daryl." he tells you. "Y/n, look at me." Rick says as he lifts your head so you're now facing him. He looks shocked at your tear stained face. For the short while he's known you he's never seen you so upset.

"What happened, is it something with Carl?" he asks knowing that the two of you have bee going out for a couple months now. Hearing Carl's name makes you let out a small sob. "I caught him with Enid at the lake." you tell Rick, fighting back another sob. Rick pauses for a moment before telling you that you can come back to his house until Carol gets back.

The two of you make it back to his house and you sit on the couch while Rick grabs you a drink. Your tears have stopped falling now as a sudden wave of anger washes over you. How could Carl do this after how good you've been to him? As Rick brings you your drink you suddenly get an idea.

You want to make him hurt the way you do and you know just how to do it. "Is there anything I can do for you y/n? Just because Carl did this doesn't mean O want you to think I don't care about you anymore." Rick says sincerely with a gentle hand resting on your knee.

"Make me forget." you say simply. "I'm not really following." Rick says giving you a confused smile. You make close to him causing his hand to move farther up you leg, dangerously close to your core. "Make me forget." you repeat yourself with a look that Rick can't tell you if you're begging or demanding.

"Y/n, I-" Rick begins before you cut him off. "Carl will never know besides he can't really judge considering what he just did with Enid." you tell him. Rick think a for a moment before speaking. "This can only happen once. You understand?" he says looking you in the eyes.

"I understand." you reply. As soon as the words come out of your mouth Ricks on you. He's surprisingly eager considering he seemed to hesitate just a moment ago. Maybe he wasn't so worried about this after all. You fall back onto the couch as Rick settles on top of you between your legs.

You begin to tug at his shirt as he kisses along your neck. "Take this off." you tell him before gasping when he brushes a certain spot. "Your awfully demanding." he says as he leans back to take off his shirt. "We're gonna have to fix that." he mutters as he pulls you up so you're chest to chest.

He removes your shirt and bra before flipping you over on your stomach. You attempt to look behind you but Rick pushes your head back down. "You stay just like that." he tells you as he backs up to pull your leggings and panties down. He props your hips up so he can get a better look at your cunt.

You push your hips back trying to hurry him up but this results in a smack to your ass cheek. "You just don't know when to stop, do you?" he says as he runs a finger through your folds before pushing it into your hole. You let out a whine at his slow pace. "Something wrong?" Rick asks taunting you. "More." you whimper into the couch cushion.

"More like this?" he asks as he slows down until he's barely moving his hand. "No". you respond weakly. "Or more like this?" he asks as he adds another finger and increases his pace significantly. "Yes." you moan as he brings his other hand underneath you to play with your clit. He continues with these motions until he can tell you're getting close.

He abruptly pulls his fingers out and goes to unzip his jeans. Just as your about to complain he replaces his fingers with his cock. "Oh my God." you call out in suprise. Rick continues his brutal pace and once again brings his hand back to your clit.

"Fuck, yes." you say, beginning to move your hips back to meet Ricks thrusts. "Look at you." he says watching as your ass bounces back against him. He slows his pace and lets you fuck your self as he simply watches you. You only quicken your movements once you realize he's slowed down.

You two are so focused on the intimate moment that you don't hear the back door open and shut. You only realize that you two are no longer alone when you hear your ex boyfriends voice from the doorway. "What the fuck is this?" he exclaims. You feel Rick still completely in shock.

You continue moving your hips for two reasons. One was because you could feel your climax approaching quickly and the other was because you didn't care that Carl was there. He had hurt you first and if you decided to get back at him by sleeping with his dad that wasn't really your fault, was it?

A/n: Ngl this was a bit hard fo me to write bc I can't rly see Carl or Rick doing either of these things but this is fanfiction after all. That being said I had been wanting to write for Rick so that helped<3

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[bigskydreaming]

This was in my notes and I haven't thought about it in awhile but its always been a dichotomy I wanted to see explored more. In addition, I was just thinking about how we often talk about how Bruce was different in his earlier years and so Dick and Jason were the only ones who really knew what he was like BEFORE A Death In the Family, and so they had a very different starting baseline of what Bruce was like as a father compared to everyone who came after them.

BUT what I think is equally true and far less explored is I think the same thing holds for Batman. Bruce as Batman was a very different figure when he was first starting out, and for Dick at least, Batman was a wholly different figure than, say, for Tim.....who came seeking the Batman who NEEDED a Robin. Who by definition, couldn't imagine a Batman who was properly Batman WITHOUT Robin.

Dick's the only one who can remember a time when there was a Batman BEFORE Robin, and I think its potentially really interesting to not just explore (as that does happen) but ACKNOWLEDGE in-universe the role that Dick as Robin had in SHAPING the Batman that the others in the family knew or knew of.

So often people reference Batman's compassion towards children or his ability to be a comfort to them in spite of his fearsome appearance or reputation.....but its because people know of him, children know of him. Its his reputation held up against the grim specter they're confronted with that enables them to look past that ominous silhouette and see the compassionate helper within it. And that reputation flat out didn't exist yet when Dick first met Batman. Bruce was too new at things, only been doing it a couple years maximum.....and there was no Robin at his side, no cheerful laughing partner advertising to children and older victims in need of help that hey, this guy isn't so bad, he's not so scary, he's here to help.

Being raised and trained by Batman lent Dick (and the later Robins - less so the Batgirls because Barbara did a lot of stuff herself and had a more distant dynamic with Bruce and Cass and Steph had her tutelage as much as they had Bruce's....and also I'm not lumping Steph in here with the boy Robins not to discount her but just because her time as Robin came with a VERY specific agenda on her part and she wasn't seeking out Batman or Robin in spite of Batman but more like....hard to describe and this isn't the right post for it without going off on tangents, but I mean more like for her Batman was just kinda a means to an end, even Tim didn't seek out Batman with the initial goal of BEING Robin, that came later....eh, like I said, tangents. I just mean no Steph erasure here, these two posts are just about examining a specific lens of expectation/perception of Batman that didn't really factor into Steph's tenure so much bc while she HAD an expectation/perception of him initially, she wasn't really doing any of that BECAUSE of Bruce or NOPE, TANGENTS. DAMMIT, I AM KEEPING THIS POST UNDER WAR AND PEACE WORDCOUNT).

So, yknow. I digress.

But anyway. Being raised and trained by Batman lent Dick a certain street cred among the cape community, and same with Robin and how he was perceived by the public....they knew what he was capable of and trusted his abilities despite his age because of his connection with Batman.

But raising and training Robin also lent Batman a certain street cred as well. It more than anything else (IMO) showed Gotham a different side of him and allowed those who needed to see him as more than a terrifying specter the actual man behind the mask, or at least a glimpse of it. While at the same time not lessening the fear he inspired in villains because like, if he can raise a pre-teen to be just as terrifying as he is even while wearing bright primary colors, let's face it, the idea of Batman as a Dad permanently operating on Bring Your Child To Work Day logistics isn't doing anything to make the guy less intimidating.

All of this is to say.....once Dick knew Batman and Bruce were the same person, once he grew to trust Batman and Bruce.....I wonder how much all of this played into his decision to be and stay Robin and HOW he went about it. Everyone knows I'm defensive about Dick's choices in costumes and his name and honoring his circus origins, as well as the fact that Dick's origin doesn't just make him a lifelong acrobat but a lifelong PERFORMER.....

And I can't help but wonder if the kid born and raised to the spotlight, to command and capitalize on peoples' perceptions, learning from a young age how to shape them, how to shape a narrative around himself.....

If he took one look at HIS first reaction to Batman and once he understood Batman's ACTUAL mission statement and desire to be someone people could take comfort in as much as he wanted to intimidate certain others.....10 year old Dick Grayson was like dude you have an image problem. First thing we need to tackle. All of THIS is noooooooot the way to go for what you're trying to do, necessarily, but alright, I can see you're committed to keeping the cowl, so I mean, let's see what we can add to this picture I guess.

LOL I'm just very amused by the idea that for as much as people talk or joke about Bruce being frustrated with Dick's desire to stick with the Robin costume and persona despite all the logistical issues.....imagine a young precocious and equally strong-willed Dick Grayson having the EXACT SAME FRUSTRATION with Bruce and in his head he's constantly ranting "ugh another person we were trying to help ran away AGAIN because Mr. No I HAVE To Keep My Bat Ears And Dramatic Cloak of Darkness Its MINE It Has Sentimental Value has apparently never heard of optics in his life, like who taught this guy, I knew better when I was FIVE."

But to bring it all back to the original post, yeah, this particular origin makes me muse a lot about Dick-As-Robin as a deliberate response/reaction to Dick's own initial hesitancy about Batman and like. His attempt at course correction, at least in part. Even if not wholly on a conscious level. The child performer trying to impart his own learned wisdom as his contribution to the group project: look B if you want people to trust and feel comforted by you there's got to be some sign or indicator to them that you're trustworthy and CAN and WANT to be comforting, because this looming figure in the dark alleyways and squatting on rooftops like a freaking gargoyle is Not It.

Because pre-Robin, that wasn't a perception and reputation that a young, just starting out Batman was exactly leading with.

And given Jason's excitement about BEING Robin coupled with his own initial reaction to Batman and then getting over that once he realized Batman's not so scary after all....it makes me wonder how that initial interaction would have played out if Bruce HADN'T fired Dick and thus spent months or a year as a Batman worryingly prowling the streets without his signature partner, and Dick-as-Robin had been part of Bruce's initial approach to Jason.

And then continuing on from there to Dick-as-Robin AND Jason-as-Robin and how they both in turn helped shape not just the Robin narrative but also the BATMAN narrative by association....we have Tim's initial seeking out of Batman BECAUSE of his perception that Batman needed a Robin......and voila, we're charting a growth curve.

Which brings us to not just the initial premise that Dick and Jason had a different relationship with Batman/Bruce from the start because they came in SPITE of Batman and stayed for Bruce....but the premise that part of why by the time Tim came along, he was looking FOR Batman was BECAUSE of how Dick and Jason had evolved Batman to be a figure that there was no need to look PAST but rather might be someone to proactively seek out instead.

Another commonality I love between Dick and Jason when we use Dick’s juvie origin where he ran into Batman on the rooftops:

When Batman caught Jason stealing his tires, Jason threw his tire iron at him and ran….because he had NO REASON to trust that Batman would be on his side, just because he was a kid. He’d seen tons of kids carted off to juvie, he was caught in the actual committing of a crime….Jason had no reason in the world to assume that Batman would have any other interest than enforcing the letter of the law with him. It didn’t matter that Jason knew he was just doing what he had to in order to survive….no other adults had in his experience made any distinctions because of that.

Not all that different from when Batman ran into Dick on the rooftops after Dick escaped from juvie, he told Dick to go back to juvie and wait for Batman to help him get out ‘the right way’ because Dick would be no use to him on the run as an escapee. But Dick was shown cynically thinking why should he trust someone who wouldn’t even show his face….he only went back, because he believed if he didn’t, Batman would drag him back there anyway. He had no reason to believe or trust that Batman saw him as anything other than a criminal. It didn’t matter that Dick knew he didn’t belong in juvie and hadn’t done anything wrong…..none of the other adults aware of his situation seemed to think there was anything wrong with him being there, what difference did him being a kid make when he’d just spent the last month surrounded by other kids in kiddie jail.

My point being…..of the four Robins Bruce raised….

Tim and Damian came to Bruce LOOKING for Batman….and eventually found Bruce, the man under the mask, as they got to know him.

Dick and Jason came with Bruce DESPITE Batman….and stayed because Bruce won them over as BRUCE WAYNE…..only later coming to trust Batman BECAUSE of the man under the mask.

I think that’s such an interesting dichotomy to play with, and would love to see more of the comparisons and contrasts between those four specifically, in light of that.

[deceit-and-knowledge]

Ooc: AS REQUESTED SMILK DIARY 😏

smilk writes about pv (you WILL NOT let him live it down)

Yes it's long he's a yapper

Dear secret diary

Hey it's me again. I need to get these stupid feelings off my chest. I can't let anyone know what's going on inside my head, I hate that.

We all know I decided to well. Lie to pure vanilla cookie about why I showed up on his doorstep like some sap. I told him I wanted revenge but then he when on some speech about friendship and for me to be his friend. Again.. I made him think he actually got to me and I accepted it, little does he know that was already my intention! I came there because I accepted that stupid request.

I felt so hurt and betrayed intially, then guilty because he offered me friendship despite every thing I did to him and his friends and he still wanted to be my friend. He understands me more than any cookie would ever understand. He's experienced the same pains and struggles I've been through.

While I'll never tell him to his face that I accept it and I'm glad he understands me, I'm sure deep down he knows. He's apparently pretty well at reading me. Did us briefly sharing a souljam make him able to know my exact thoughts?

That thought scares me, I hide many secrets that if any cookie found them out I would want to crawl into a hole and die. If that's even possible of me.

One secret in particular, how I feel about him. Would stroke that pathetic thief's ego so stupidly. He stole something of importance and that isn't my souljam but my heart. I hate the fluttery feeling and my damn heart being a nuisance. I feel weak in the knees and it's not because I struggle to stand. I despise this disgusting feeling I don't even know why I experience it. Those stupid urges I get around his hands or his face. I can't even look at him sometimes, I feel so pathetic.

I hate him so much, his stupid hair, his pathetic eyes. He's grotesque. A cretin. But I can't help but stare, he's always so happy. He's my complete opposite and yet we're so alike. He has this dumb kind attitude towards me calling me "his dear friend" like I'm dark cacao cookie or hollyberry cookie like I mean something to him.

He doesn't even care that I seemingly came here for vengeance as if he saw right through my plan. How much does he know. Does he know how I feel about him. This stupid stupid cookie with blonde hair and an attitude on this world and it's cookies that sickens me to my core.

Why did it have to be him to receive my souljam, someone so damn happy all the time, treating me like I'm a friend not foe, despite everything I've done. After everything. He still cares? He still shows compassion to me of all cookies like I deserve it? I don't. I know I don't. I'm a monster not an idiot. I hate to admit it but I'm very aware my actions are wrong and I am misguided I just don't care. Anything beats the feeling of wallowing and regret. I hate myself but he makes me feel the opposite and I don't get it.

And I hate how warm I've been lately. It's only early spring it's not even hot yet. Truthless recluse was walking around in a hoodie and jeans, he's clearly cold. Pure vanilla cookie had a brown sweater on too. It's not warm here so why do I feel so? Is this some curse he inflicted upon me as revenge?

I hate it. I hate it, so much why he is such a horrible cookie. Stupid pathetic pure vanilla cookie. I hope he dies. I'm sick of telling him I'll tear his head off.

I wish he'd shut up with his stupid kind words. I hate that I broke down crying in front of him or laid on his lap. I hate that time I felt this stupid urge to offer him daises and did. Is this a spell? Or a potion he snuck into my food? I knew trusting him to feed me when he hardly feeds himself was a terrible idea but these consequences suck.

Why do you care so much? I hurt you, I tried to kill you and your friends, I tried pushing you to your limits the very edge of your sanity, I tried to break you, break your souljam and your trick hurt, your offer hurt me but I did worse. You're an idiot. A pathetic whiny whelp but I can't help but feel like a fool around you.

I'll never tell him this but it's better to get this off my chest before someone or he makes me slip up. I already did with that truth serum but I didn't specify the kind I meant even if he tried, it's like he knew or is under the same curse? Is he waiting for me to mess up? Is this a long con? Get me vulnerable, make me scared and mock me for expressing my feelings? I already hate it. I already hate him. Does he actually care.

As I write this I am now questioning why I feel sad. What's wrong me, I'm the great shadow milk cookie, master of deceit not some lowly sap? Who am I. I'm disgusting. He's disgusting too. Especially if this is a long con plan of vengeance. I can't even bring myself to harm him because I actually like his stupid friendship. I'm no longer alone and it feels good. I wish black sapphire cookie and candy apple cookie were here and we could be one big happy found family as they say. I do want a family again. But sage is a loser and truthless recluse despises my mere existence. So it'll have to be smaller than dreamed.

Oh. And I suppose you'll want to know a bad dream I had. I was dreaming about dying or something. I don't know something I'm insecure about but you'll never know that.

Well! It's been nice diary, but I have to go. It's dinner time now and pure vanilla cookie made me meat jellies. He's been making those alot for me, I know my teeth are sharp but I like variety. Not that I'll tell him that. I'm picky. Some jellies just suck to eat and make me feel sick if I try. So I wouldn't chance it and then have to act like some bratty child because he made me food I physically can't eat. That's embarassing. It's been good but ta-ta diary.

[inkybitt]

♥︎Paradise part one ♥︎

(Bill Dickey x Fem Reader)

“♪ Feels right, so fine I'm yours, you're mine Like paradise ♪”

♡-Summary: You walk in to a comic store to find an x men comic then you bump into some asshole

♡-Genre fluff (Sfw)

♡-Warnings: a bit of misogynistic (?) comments and fat jokes

♡-Notes: i am currently working on part two!! Lmk if i went too ooc and hopefully you enjoy this first part!!

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

It is a Sunday afternoon and Bill decides to check if Joe’s Comic Store has anything new in stock

He looks around and checks out the comic book aisle he is in the x men's section just browsing around

*what the fuck? $2.25 for an x men's comic?..

Whatever I'm stealing this* Bill thought to himself

Then he hears the door chime ring he turns his head Bill's eyes widen He sees a girl walk-in

All eyes are on you but Joe seems annoyed thinking that you’re here for attention

One thing that stood out was how pretty you were

Bill was shocked for a bit and tried to snap out of it

Bill watches you walk to the comic aisle which is the same aisle he is in, but you are checking out the “invincible” comic section which is a bit further

Bill notices how you ignore everyone glaring at you as if you just don’t care at all.

Then slowly you walked near the x men’s comic section to the point you were somewhat next to him

Bill tries to act like he is looking for something but in reality, he’s secretly observing you mostly at your hair and clothes what stood out the most was your scent he isn't used to getting a trace of perfume which was very new to him

Bill isn't used to being close to a girl he started to get a bit anxious but tried to hide it

*meh she doesn't know jack shit about X-men* Bill thought to himself then he had an idea.

————

You were checking out for some x-men comics mostly looking for volume 3 due to your little cousin accidentally ripping it

You were just browsing through until you heard someone say “Hey you!” In a snarky tone

You turned your head then you saw this guy with messy greasy hair, a Batman tee shirt, somewhat baggy jeans, and acne all over his face

Then you point at yourself with a confused look “Me?”

“Yes, you! Who else would I be talking to?” He said with a very impolite tone. Although.. he sounded a bit funny how he was trying to act all intimidating

“So you like X-men huh?” He said

“Oh yeah, why you ask?”

Bill started to get a little flustered he didn't get why you were just calm about this in his mind he expected you to be nervous but he just tried to snap out of it

“Well then if you read the comics then.. what's toad's REAL name huh?” He gave you a smug look as he thought you wouldn’t even have an answer

You had to think for a second before answering because you wouldn’t like to look stupid

“Oh isn't it Mortimer Toynbee!?” You said

His jaw dropped he didn’t expect you to get that answer right he couldn’t believe that you knew

You started to giggle due to this random guy trying to humiliate you

Now he got more flustered than ever he felt so stupid he looks pissed but didn't say anything else

You just walk out of the store with the exact volume you were looking for

You start to think about that guy who tried to embarrass you but failed miserably you thought that was pretty cute of him

You started to feel like you had probably seen him around school before but you doubt it

When Bill came back home and headed over to his room he was still pissed about earlier today

*what the hell I thought girls like her were idiots* Bill thought to himself

He did keep on thinking about you and noticed how attractive you are and how calm you were but he would never admit that!..or would he?

——————

It's Monday morning and you finish your makeup routine and pick out a black babydoll top with some flare jeans with a washed-off color then put on your “Miss Dior” fragrance

Later on, you were hanging out with your friend group outside on the benches when you saw a group of guys sitting at the lunch tables

You made eye contact with the same guy you saw at the shop last night, he does go to your school!

Then you see one of your (guy) friends walking up to you and waving at you, you break eye contact with that guy from yesterday

“Hey y/n!!”

“Oh hey h/n” you smiled back

You gotta admit you did have a hallway crush on him but it lasted for two days and you never confessed, but you thought it was better off that way

————-

Bill was just talking to his club till he made eye contact with you He recognized you from yesterday but then he noticed a guy walk up to you

He started to observe this guy you were talking to, the way you two were almost close together, how you were smiling at him, and the way you looked at him

He started to get pissed off but he couldn’t hide it due to his facial expression although it kinda hit him that you two only talked for a little bit so there isn't much he can do

“Hey, Bill what's up with you man?” Pete said trying to get Bill to snap out of his thoughts

“What do you want!!!” Bill yelled out

“Dude whats the hell is wrong with you? I was trying to ask you something” Pete said

“Hey, I think bills turning into a tard!” Josh laughed (at his joke..)

“Fuck off fatso!!..” Bill said

Bill was trying to get you off of his mind by ignoring you but he couldn’t

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

[laswells-ashtray]

I have a request for you, whenever is fine but gods in curious of your thoughts and want to know your take on this.

One the boys smells, when I say boys y'know I mean 141, ale Rudy, Nik, and the old men I.e. Black ops men

The tip of piercing they'd have and if they would be barbell or hoop or something fancy

And their drunk tattoo

Yes I imagine Woods getting a horseshoe and when asked his bastard ass cackles and says, something along the lines up him fucking you harder then a horse smnsmn

Okay, I have thoughts™. This is gonna be a bit of a long one.

John Price smells like expensive aftershave, purchased by one pilot who smelled the aftershave John used previously and muttered something about it being used in various war crimes. Spicy with hints of leather. Everyone in the vicinity has considered huffing that motherfucker like he's a can of spray paint. Faint smell of smoke too but who hasn't enjoyed that. Barbell because I'm a big believer in ex-eyebrow piercing Price. Drunk tattoo is of a cigar because it seemed funny at the time.

Nikolai smells like oil, expensive shampoo and once again, a little smoke. His shampoo smells like fig and vanilla, the type where you smell it and you know it was overpriced but he enjoys it and it's his money. Nipple ring. Drunk tattoo is a pin-up doll only he gets it as a man who has oddly familiar facial hair.

Ghost, and I mean this in a nice way, smells like cheap men's deodorant and faintly scented moisturiser. It's that strong, cheap-smelling deodorant that if sprayed in any amount might choke you out but so long as you aren't ingesting it, it's nice. And moisturiser because a man who wears a mask all of the time has to be a man who protects his skin. Used to hand an industrial when he was an edgy teen, and ditched it years ago. Drunk tattoo is a flaming skull because it was supposed to be ironic and drunken him figured that everyone would be able to understand that. No one does, they think he just got it because he's like that.

Soap smells like hairspray, sweat and basic Lynx bodyspray. It's good quality hairspray, the kind that isn't unbearable to spray near your face. He's a warm guy, faint smell of sweat is to be expected and he doesn't care all that much because that does it for some people. Hoop, below the belt. I shall say no more. Drunken tattoo is a small Scotland flag by his ankle because he got drunk with a group of Englishman who told him that if he was so proud of being Scottish then he should get a fucking Scotland tattoo, drunken him thought it was a great idea.

Gaz smells like fruit body lotion, subtle sandalwood and cedar-type smells from his deodorant and a faint smell of mint because at times when he can't smoke, he likes chewing gum. He smells good, he smells "fall asleep with your head in the crook of his neck and wake up there because God, it's nice" good. Nose stud. Drunken tattoo is the words "your name" on his ass so that he can tell people he has their name tattooed on his ass.

Alejandro smells faintly of peaches, clean linen and spicy aftershave. Peaches? It's you, I don't have to elaborate. Clean linen because he lives with Rudy and Rudy has that "motherfucker, we're washing that" autism. Spicy aftershave because he likes smelling nice even when he's getting gunned down. Tounge piercing. Drunken tattoo is Rudy's name right under his left titty. He claims it's a bit for their friendship, years later when they start touching tips he finally admits he lied. Everyone knew.

Rudy smells like cherries, lavender fabric softener and expensive moisturiser. I shan't elaborate on the cherries. Fabric softener because his hoodie has been a part of him for years now and he treats it with the upmost care when he's wearing it and when he's washing it. Expensive moisturiser because he has good skin, he takes care of it and if he doesn't let Alejandro splurge on something for him then the other man will explode. Nipples but specific jewellery that's made to look like the crucifixion. Yes, it's real and no, I won't explain myself. I've said this one before, his drunken tattoo is a Batman symbol.

Mason smells strong minty mouthwash because I like to think he steals smokes from the people around him but when they're cheap, he doesn't like the lingering taste in his mouth. Mango lip balm. And Old Spice. Simple black earring in one side. His drunken tattoo is a sniper target on the back of his neck.

Woods smells like one of those 47-in-1 shampoo, body wash, car oil, paint stripper, lube-type things. I say with love. Smoke. And cheap cologne but the type you find that is actually phenomenal for something that's like four dollars. And whisky, get close enough and you can smell a faint whisky-type smell from his breath and he isn't ashamed. Gets a ring on his helix as a dare. You're right about his drunken tattoo.

Adler smells like smoke, the smell lingers to him but he doesn't care and anyone who knows him is used to it. Oscar De La Renta, Pour Lui, his ex-wife picked it for him and he liked it enough to stick with the scent. He also smells faintly of gunpowder. Nipple barbells, I don't need to explain why. He wakes up with a hangover and a fully detailed revolver on his left hip. He doesn't ask questions and it ends up healing nicely.

[yujiimybeloved]

Has Anyone Else Died For You? | Megumi Fushiguro

05: Loner

Words: 3k

Mainlist

Megumi liked your room more than he would like to accept.

And that dolly place too pink and too lacy felt like heaven at that moment. So there he was in his black jacket and the chains around his neck lying between your stuffed animals and cushions, drugged up to his ass and talking more than usual.

It wasn't his fault to feel good, he blamed  the drug and the fact that you had prepared a coffee that tasted like glory at that moment. He'd let you paint his nails with that old black polish you'd kept in a drawer for years while he felt relaxed for the first time in a long time.

You were so pretty. Of course, seeing you at school was definitely a pleasure, you were like a dream, always perfect with your doll makeup, your nice heels and your little skirts too short for the dress code. But seeing you vulnerable in your pajamas and with your face washed was a different kind of pleasure because you seemed so soft and warm that now you really looked like a little angel.

Megumi took the cross that fell down your neck between his fingers and examined it for a few seconds. "And this is why do you really believe in something or is it just a small ornament?"

"You don't care."

"Maybe not, but I'm curious."

You rolled your eyes and removed the cross of his hand. "It's not something I want to talk about."

"Why? I thought we were friends."

"You already know too much about me and I know too little about you."

"There's not much you should know."

You shook your head slightly. Even if during the last few days you had spent quite a bit of time with Megumi the reality is that you knew little or nothing about him while you slowly began to open up, not that you had told him too much but it was much more than most people knew.

"Who are you Megumi?"

"It would be impossible to answer that question."

"Stop trying to be mysterious."

"And isn't that the same thing you do? You tell what you want, no one really knows you."

"It's not true."

"It is." When you were done with her nails, you closed the polish and left it on the bedside table.

"You have to play questions and answers." He raised an eyebrow but a small smile was on his lips. It was adorable how much you wanted to know about him.

"You have to play." He agreed with you. "I'll start. The great legend of the letter was real?"

You rolled your eyes, he wasn't even interested (because he already knew) he just wanted you to stop the idea of asking him questions. "let's watch a movie."

You were easy to read, easy to handle. "Well, which one do you suggest?"

"Twilight."

"Not even thinking about it."

"come on!"

"No, don't even think about it, there's no way I'm going to see that shit."

And a while later there he was having to endure watching the movie he didn't want, maybe you were easy but he wasn't as difficult as he wanted to seem, you just had to use your puppy eyes and beg a little to have him watch the stupidest movie I'd ever had the misfortune to see.

"This is ridiculous, Edward is a fucking creep, what kind of girl wants you to come into her room just to watch her sleep for hours?"

"You wouldn't understand"

He scoffed in disbelief. "What? How insane is that? Of course I do."

"Shhh, just wait before judging."

He listened to you and continued watching the movie playing on your computer. He was leaning against your pillows, his arms crossed over his chest, he had left his leather jacket on his desk chair, So maybe you've checked it once or twice more than you would have liked.

Megumi concentrated on the movie, you focused on him but he didn't speak again until the movie was over.

"I still don't see the appeal."

"Because you are bitter."

"No, it's because I have good judgment." Although you were aware that it wasn't the best movie it wasn't that bad either, well, it was very bad but it was entertaining.

"Whatever you say, the next time you come I'll make you watch the next one and then the next one and so on until we finish the saga."

"Don't threaten me." You hit him with a pillow, it was light and although normally he would have been bitter this time he laughed.

"dumb." you will lie on your side next to him, neither so close nor so far. He didn't move and you stared at his profile, it was beautiful, definitely beautiful. It was barely 8:00 p.m., he had been in your room for two hours and did you know that you should probably kick him out because your parents would arrive at any moment but, isn't life better with some danger?

Your eyes dropped to the ink mark peeking out from under his black T-shirt. You put your finger on the part of the tattoo that was whipped but he didn't look at you until you spoke.

"When did you get that one?"

"A few years ago, maybe 3 or 4"

"When you were 16?"

"Yes, something like that."

"And does it mean something?"

"You're a little gossip, Y/L" he pinched your nose and you complained but he didn't let go until you slapped him. "Too curious." He always found some way to avoid answering your questions, sometimes it was the direct ones, sometimes not so much but no matter how hard you tried, you never had an answer.

You slapped his hand to leave your nose alone "Yes, yes, I got the point."

"Do you want to see it?"

"Can I?" because of course you wanted, you wanted to meet Megumi and even if he was so closed, you wanted to go in little by little and this would be a small breakthrough.

"Yes." you sat up waiting for him to roll up his sleeve but instead he took off his shirt. Well, maybe you weren't ready for that.

"It's." Your eyes fell on the dragon tattoo that traveled from his shoulder blade to his chest. "It's pretty." It was the only thing you could say, your eyes ran over his naked torso, you couldn't help it, he was good. "You-" Before you could finish the sentence you heard the front door open, your parents had arrived. "Damn." you murmured. "Come." you took his arm and led him to your bathroom. "Stay there and don't make a noise." You tossed him his jacket before closing the door. The last time your parents had found out that there was a boy in your room it hadn't gone well, maybe it had been years since that but you didn't want another threat of sending you to a convent.

While you were leaving your room, Megumi stayed in your bathroom, you were not the only one of curious nature, while looking around the small bathroom he noticed something on the mirror on the wall, he took it, a small pink notebook with stickers and some magazine clippings on the cover, it was obviously old and was damaged by the passage of time and the humidity of the place.

Your name was in the center enclosed with a badly drawn heart. He opened the notebook on the first page.

Yn yl

2020-2023

It was your diary, an old one, you probably would have been 12 or 13 years old when you started it and you still had it, hidden and forgotten but it was still there as if you refused to throw away those memories.

He couldn't afford to poke at it too much, he heard you went back into the room so he just hid it inside his t-shirt.

That night He had to go out of the window hiding like a thief but not that he would have cared much, it had definitely been worth it much more than he thought.

Megumi remembered how much he hated you when he saw how close you had become to Yuji, it wasn't weird, you were completely his type (or at least the version of you you always appeared to be) pretty, sweet, kind, shy, always with a nice smile on your  lips, you were definitely the type of girl who fit Yuji and Megumi hated that.

'Cause he knew you were a bitch, 'cause he knew you were a liar, your whole life was a complete lie, you didn't deserve anything good.

Things between you were supposed to be fine but he still started ignoring you, all of you actually. You didn't really know what it was that was making him angry and maybe now you cared a little more than the previous time because you didn't give a fuck about Megumi before, but now you thought that you and him were starting to be friends and you really liked him.

When Yuji asked you for a date you couldn't say it was a surprise, you weren't stupid and Yuji wasn't discreet at all, you were almost immediate, you didn't think about it until you got home.

Yuji was funny, sweet, attractive, a gentleman but you still weren't as happy with the idea of a date as you should be, you just felt like something wasn't right, but maybe you were the only one who felt that way because Yuji seemed even happier than usual.

Now he walked hand in hand with you around the campus and everyone started to notice that, Yuji had a good reputation, you don't, but maybe people's mentality began to change a little when they saw you with him, because if he was a good boy you should also be one, right?

So even if you felt like you didn't fit in, your need for social approval and popularity was bigger. Apart from Yuji he was like the softest and best version of Sukuna, he was a sick way of seeing things, that was definitive, but what does it matter? No one knew what was going on in your mind, no one knew that every time he kissed your cheek you were imagining that it was his older brother instead of him.

People were starting to be nicer to you again, everyone except for Megumi who started sitting at the back of the class and now you had a new seatmate, at least the girl was nice and it didn't take long for you to become her "friend" Little by little you returned to your life as before, even your old friends were already smiling at you and waving at you when they saw you in the hallways, you knew that they were still double-faced cunts that used you and then trampled on but it didn't matter much because they had what you wanted.

You tried to get used to Megumi's absence but it was difficult, often your eyes traveled to him and you often realized that his eyes were on you, it was not a normal look, it was dark and filled with the deepest anger.

He hated that everything seemed to be going so well with your life, he hated that you were with Yuji, he hated that you gained popularity again, he hated you.

During the break, Yuji's soccer practice was extended while Nobara had class so you have no choice but to go back to your old place and spend the break alone, alone until you saw Megumi approach you.

You didn't have time to say anything before he grabbed you by your sweater and forced you off the ground only to smash you into the tree trunk.

"what-" you tried to say.

"I want you to stay away from Yuji, I'm not playing."

"What are you talking about?"

"You heard me, you are not deaf. Stay away from my friends, stay away from my life."

"You're not going to tell me what I have to do, I don't understand you, why are you doing this? One day we're friends, the next you ignore me and now you're threatening me. Two weeks ago you were apologizing to me and now you act this way." You were confused, you didn't understand Megumi, you had never done it and he hadn't given you the opportunity either. You admired his expression for a moment, his eyes were completely dark, full of anger, you blew a small trace of white powder under his nose. "Are you high?"

"It's none of your fucking business, Yn, you're going to listen to me."

"No." you weren't going to let him try to intimidate you and you weren't going to do what he wanted.

"Well, I don't think your boyfriend likes to know that you slept with his older brother." You felt a direct blow to the stomach, you had never told anyone about it and Sukuna may have been an idiot but he was not one to kiss and tell, there was no way he knew.

"What? How do you know that?"

"Don't worry about it." A small evil smile formed on his lips. He leaned towards you, you could feel his hot breath against your cold skin. "You're going to stay away."

"Why do you do this?"

"My motives are none of your business."

"Of course they are!" It was frustrating that he never set the record straight, everything was a mystery when it came to Megumi.

"Just listen to me and stay away, I don't want to see you with Yuji again."

"I don't care what you want, I'm not going to stay far away, today I'm going out and I'm going to have another date with Yuji, it will be wonderful and you won't be able to do anything about it." You stood firm and determined, you weren't going to let him get in your way, when you finished the silent one, the most tense and deep you had ever experienced, you could feel the air becoming more tense.

Megumi smashed his lips on yours, he was kissing you and it was quite far from being a soft kiss, it was rough and hard but you didn't refuse or stop him, you could feel all his anger and all the anger he had for you. You closed your eyes and accepted her kiss by parting your lips slightly.

You let go when you felt His hands went down your waist to your butt but in a moment of you pushed him, he seemed as confused as you, he probably didn't think before doing it.

That night during your date with Yuji the kiss appeared in your mind over and over again, he was wonderful and yet you kept thinking about Megumi. You felt guilty even if you had no reason for it to, you and Yuji weren't "official" yet but he had set the record straight, he was serious with you and you still let his best friend kiss you.

And not only that, but he had threatened you and yet you kissed him, how low was that? Probably a lot but you still did it.

You wondered if megumi was serious about what she said or if it was just barking and not biting, you still didn't know how he had found out about sukuna and you didn't want any word to come out of her mouth, you felt much more anxious than you would like.

You and Megumi didn't speak, it was a silent deal in which neither of you wanted to say a single word, you wondered if he was embarrassed or just upset. The more time you spent with Yuji, the worse you felt, the anxiety was completely consuming you, you tried to convince yourself that it wasn't that bad but it was impossible.

"Are you okay?" Yuji asked you as you walked hand in hand through the campus, he had noticed your lost look and the little participation you had had in the conversation, he had begun to notice it days ago but now it was more than clear.  

"Huh? Yes, of course."

"Sure?"

"Sure." You weren't and neither was he.

"Well, because tomorrow I want to invite you to dinner at Pearl Restaurant, do you want to go?" You couldn't help but feel nervous, that place was somewhat expensive and a bit out of Yuji's budget, not that she didn't take you to cute places she always would but Pearl was elegant with capital letters, you didn't want to anticipate but you felt like it was the day she would ask you to be boyfriend and girlfriend officially. 

"Yes, that would be fantastic!" you said with as big a smile as you could force trying to hold back the urge to cry, you thought he would get bored of you after a couple of dates but you were very wrong. 

When you got home, lately you went about your daily routine, which consisted of lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling while reflecting on your life and all your mistakes and then convincing yourself that others were the problem and that you had done nothing wrong.

You wanted to talk to someone but Choso was busy, Nobara was yuji's friend before yours, your parents were not someone you wanted to talk to about this and well, your contact list was quite limited now it was quite limited, although people were already starting to talk to you again it is not that they were your friends. 

After thinking about it a lot, though not as much as you would have liked, you sent a message to Megumi. There was a high probability that he would just ignore you and the saner part of you wished that would happen because Megumi wouldn't bring you anything good, sh hadn't and never would but you couldn't help how much you liked being with him, he was nice when he wasn't being a bitch.

"Hello, can you come? I really need something to relax in."

Notes area:

>comments, suggestions and feedback are welcome

>thanks for reading

Taglist(open)

@d4rlinxs @anonnieghost @linaaeatsfamilies

[semisslave]

Chishiya x reader who experiences a panic attack?

While Chishiya tries to comfort her, he somehow finds out that the reader finds his touch very calming and hugs them.

(Bonus: it happens during Jack of hearts)

♡ Stereotype ♡

Contents: Chishiya x reader, fluff.

Warnings: kinda ooc chishiya, panic attack

When the King of Diamonds game started, your group splitted and lost track of Chishiya and An. You were very worried about it because Chishiya, you and Kuina were together since the beach, but Arisu said that he's sure Chishiya will be alright.

When Usagi, Arisu, Tatta, Kuina, and you arrived to the King of Clubs, there were only 4 bracelets even tho it needed 5 people.

You all looked behind when you heard a voice, it was Niragi with a bracelet.

You and everyone refused to play with Niragi, until Usagi put on a bracelet and conviced everyone, but you.

You decided to go to another game since there were only four bracelets and one person wasn't going to play anyway.

Now you were walking to the Jack of hearts. You could admit it wasn't a great idea since you suffered from panic attacks and hearts games were you had to manipulate people and make them go insane were a big no no for you, but what was the worst that could happen if no one that you knew was going to be there?

You were more about Diamonds game since in those games almost always there was no violence allowed and there was a way for all the players to live.

You still went there since it was the closest Jack game, and going to a Queen or a King alone was not going to end up well for you.

You entered to the Nara prison, where the game was located. You put on the last collar that was on the table and went upstairs.

There was some people around the room, looking at the screen. You didn't see everybody since you were just watching the screen where the rules were being announced.

When they finished explaining the rules, you were a bit worried. How were you gonna find someone that helps you? You decided to look among all the players and see who looks trustworthy.

You were thinking to yourself. 'That girl doesn't give me good vibes, that guy looks too tough, that guy looks too scared, that guy looks like he's gonna die soon and-' That's when you saw him, Chishiya, leaning against a wall and smirking at you.

You walked towards him, smiling.

"Chishiya! You're alive!" You said as you smiled, relieved that you had someone you trusted here.

"You really thought I was gonna die there?" He said with a cocky smile as always.

"Well, the King of Spades can kill anyone-"

"What happened with Tatta, An, Kuina, Usagi, and Arisu? Did they die?" He said, cutting you off.

"Oh, no. We lost An, I don't really know where she is, and me with the others decided to go to the King of Clubs, but it was a 5 person game and Niragi already had one of the bracelets on. I didn't want to play with him so I went here."

"Hmm... How can Niragi still be alive?

"I know, right? I'm honestly starting to believe that guy is immortal." You said, joking.

Chishiya smirks and says. "Let me see your symbol."

You turn around, and he separates your hair to see the symbol. It was a heart.

"It's a heart." He says, and also turns around

"Thank you." You see his symbol, a club. "Club!"

He turned around, facing you again.

"I'm trusting you." He replied with his casual tone

You smiled.

The games passed, people died and no one discovered who the Jack of hearts was.

That's when Enji approached you while you were grabbing a snack.

"Hey... " He said, giving you chills.

"Hi..." You answered, trying to go away, but he grabbed your wrist.

"I see that you trust that guy a lot, don't you? Shuntaro Chishiya..."

"Mhm...?" You said, confused.

"Well, I think he's the Jack of Hearts."

"He's been with me even before the second stage started... I know he isn't."

"Well, you know Jacks, Queens and Kings can also be playing those games, mixing among other players?"

"I know he isn't."

"You can say that, buy you're not entirely sure... Let me tell you your symbol."

He looks at it. It was a spade. "Hmm... Club."

"I don't believe you. Leave me alone!" You said, extremely nervous.

"Die if you want, but dying because you trusted the wrong person is a dumb way to die."

You pushed him out of you way and ran to the bathrooms, scared.

There were only 10 minutes left and Chishiya was looking for you to tell each other their symbol.

You were sat on the floor of the bathroom, your arms around your knees. That guy actually managed to manipulate you and make you doubt Chishiya.

He was right. You saw Mira on the big screens, someone you met face to face, and thought she was a normal player. Maybe Chishiya was also lying and was just using you and Kuina to gain trust from the players, that would explain why he knew what was going to happen at the beach between Aguni and The Hatter, right?

Oh no, you were getting that feeling again. Your heart started beating faster and in an irregular way. You were shaking, you were struggling to breathe normally, and your chest started to hurt.

You heard the door of the bathroom open.

"___, our sym-" He stopped when he saw you on the floor, shaking and struggling to breathe, with a look of extreme fear.

"___?"

"C-chishiya..." You said, completely scared

He kneeled down to your level with a confused face.

"What happened?"

"I'm afraid... Even if I look tough in the exterior, I'm still afraid..." You said, shaking, almost crying.

He was confused. He'd never seen you in that way, so scared and vulnerable.

Suddenly, you hugged him, clinging to him as you cried on his shoulder.

He felt your heart beating really fast, knowing what was happening.

"It's okay..."

Even tho he wasn't exactly a fan of physical contact, he let you hug him and rubbed your back. He knew how much you needed it in this moment.

"Chishiya... Are you really the Jack of hearts?" You said whispering, struggling to talk since you were also struggling to breathe.

He raised an eyebrow. "If I was a wouldn't tell you neither, but I think it's pretty clear I'm not." He said as you hugged him tighter.

"Enji told me the Jack could also be someone who was mixing with other players..."

"And someone as smart as you couldn't notice that he knowing that is suspicious?"

You didn't answer, but his touch helped you to calm down a bit.

"Calm down. You can trust me."

You stayed hugging him.

He was never like this. He would always be cold and distant, but for the first time, you felt him close in an intimate and vulnerable moment.

You didn't want to let go of him. His touch was making you forget about all your fears and calmed you.

But he pulled away

"There's only five minutes left. Your symbol is spade." He said confidently.

You, now calmed, nodded and asked him to turn around. His symbol was a diamond. "Diamond."

You both went to the rooms to tell your symbol. You were a bit scared since Enji and Chishiya told you different symbols, but of course, you were gonna trust Chishiya.

"Spade..."

He never lied. Enji was the Jack. It was obvious...

TYSM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!

I'll do all the requests, I swear, but just give me time bc I've been very busy lately

vivi out ( =＾ω＾)

[waihtie]

Let's hope this keeps working for forever

Season 5 Episode 3 - Free to be You and Me

○ Jessica appearing to Sam in a dream. She's here to tell him to stop running from himself bc he can't

Not dreaming? Hallucinating?

○ Sam burning all his fake credentials 😢

Dean out hunting without him

Sad music playing. So dramatic.

Sam's working in a bar?? He really tryna live a normal life

○ Dean is trying so hard not to kiss him

The second convo just inches away from eachother in 90 seconds

Cas needs Dean's help bc he wants to trap and interrogate the Archangel Raphael, bc he won't kill Dean bc Michael needs his body

And there's number three. "Personal space" my ass

○ Sam's not gonna be able to stay out of all this apocalyptic stuff

○ Cas wants to tell this person the truth about angels lol

^ You sure do.

*while fixing his tie. This whole episode is so sexually charged, and I'm not even 11 minutes in, including the recap

FBI Cas 🥺:

How can someone older than humanity in and of itself be so babygirl. The OG babygirl, I guess

Lmao he's telling the cop it's demons and angels causing the problems

○ Sam's tempted to call Dean, but called Bobby instead 🥺

I knew he couldn't stay out of it

(just to tell someone to get on a case here. Bobby told him to go himself, but in a more sarcastic way)

○ Cas just casually popped in from Jerusalem with holy oil. Says it's very rare, but they don't seem to ever not have any

○ Dean using his last night on earth move, smooth. Great, now he's pushing for answers in a way that could only be subtle to Cas

○ Dean's first two thoughts when he finds Cas has never gotten down dirty:

1. Pointing out a non-canonically gay couple

2. He's not gonna let Cas die a virgin

○ Bobby did end up sending hunters. They want Sam's help, but no go (for now I'm guessing)

○ CAS'S FACE MY GAWD. Gay panic if I ever did see

○ How does he know all about this girl and her family, but never seems to know anything about anyone ever again?

Dean saying it's been years since he's laughed like that 🥺🩷

○ This girl telling Sam there's nothing anyone can do that they can't be forgiven or change. I hope he takes it to heart. He's a good kid.

○ Cas calling Raphael. That was hot

○ I love how Dean's never afraid to shit talk even archangels (and eventually God himself)

○ I also love Cas's face when Dean tells Raphael trapping him was Cas's idea

Raphael says God is dead

○ The 3 hunters that came to Sam are now 2. He knows Sam started the apocalypse. This isn't gonna end well.

I also also love Sam's puppy-dog eyes in this conversation

Let's just assume anytime this 3 boys do anything, I love it, unless I hate it. But it's usually love. And there's no in between.

○ Raphael says they just want Paradise. It's a godless world, and they are tired.

Cas isn't buying that God is dead. Someone brought him back.

Raphael says Lucifer could've, bc he needs rebellious angels

○ Cas is power. Direct opposite of 🥺. Get a man that can do both.

^ to one of the most powerful beings in existence.

○ Those hunters have Sam's lady friend. Either he drinks demon-blood, or they kill her.

They force fed it to him. Dude's been drugged on top of all the other shit.

He's mentally getting stronger tho 🩷 Didn't kill the guy when he had the chance

○ Awee Dean trying to relate to Cas, and telling him about the time he went looking for his own missing father

"When all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart that he was alive"

He's comforting Cas. I love that for them

Dean telling Cas that he's happy, and Cas just blips out mid-sentence. Abandonment-Issues really did find himself a Can-Fly-Away-On-A-Dime.

○ Another Jessica hallucination/dream thing

"You're wrong. People can change, there is reason for hope"

YOU TELL HER, BABY

"No Sam, there isn't"

WOAH JESSICA IS ACTUALLY LUCIFER DISGUISING HIMSELF

He says this Nick can't hold him for long, but doesn't he for the whole show? Well I guess he's in Hell most of it, and that's not his physical body.

^ How's this boy ever supposed to forgive himself and find self-worth. He almost started to, but

HE SAYS SAM IS HIS VESSEL

So the rib markings are stopping him from finding Sam's location, but not from being there non-physically?

"I'll never lie to you, I'll never trick you, but you will say yes to me." The same way he got Nick

Cas's faith is something to note these episodes. He has so much.

[utilitycaster]

dunno if you got to it yet in the wrap up but matt mentions at one point during it he'd been sitting on the idea for Ludinus since mid-Campaign 2(?) at least and I feel both vindication in that I knew that the Ludi stuff felt like it was being designed for the Mighty Nein...

but also like, "Wow you sat on this idea for years and the end result was one of if not the weakest villains you've ever made, ouch."

So I haven't gotten to it, but also, I kind of disagree with you here. I think that Ludinus was a good concept; it's just that because Bells Hells didn't know what to do and because they were not developed well for the specific demands of this campaign, a lot of his appearances didn't work out. Like, his initial appearance and his appearance at the solstice? fucking stellar, honestly.

I dearly love the Mighty Nein and think they are the best party with the best campaign, but once again, despite what the stupidest and most bitter and jealous people in the fandom may say, I do not think the problem was that Bells Hells were not the Mighty Nein, or that Ludinus was a villain who was designed for the Mighty Nein. I think the problem is that he was a villain who was designed for a party with people who were intelligent, politically aware, invested in the world around them, and interested in research - which Vox Machina was as well. I think the problem is that Matt did not realize that Vox Machina was a case of lucking out (and the party comp was still a little weird, it just was skewed away from healing and arcane magic, rather than like. mental stats, and even that was a case of one player being asked to leave and one player being absent due to personal commitments), and the Mighty Nein was a more curated character creation process, and that Bells Hells required a similar level of attention and direction.

So a lot of the issues with Ludinus come from that - his appearance in the Shattered Teeth, for example, is entirely to show the party that he has a simulacrum and to provide a ticking clock to get away, but otherwise makes no fucking sense, but a party that was actually built for this campaign would have a more natural means of learning this information. His monologuing would not be a problem with a party that didn't dither about killing people who tried to kill them, ie, not Bells Hells, but honestly Bells Hells were uniquely bad about that - I watch/listen to a LOT of actual play and Bells Hells were exceptionally slow to act across like 20 different parties in D&D/Pathfinder-based shows. And ultimately, his ending isn't Bells Hells' fault at all; that was Matt, and the problem is that it's true that he'd have contingency plans, but as we've seen with Delilah, there is a diminishing return with mages and sometimes you do just need to fucking kill them and have them stay dead. It's another case of like, misplaced realism, for lack of a better term; I get the logic, but consider how "guy who you just said is blinded by his own hatred to the point of not realizing that the world would not, in fact, respond to the Aeor message the way he thought, who never made a single effort to change or grow or stop hurting people in a thousand years, fucks off to an island and drinks tea" is an unsatisfying ending especially since he's not even casting nondetection. Honestly THAT could have been fixed by idk. a mysterious message indicating he was alive somewhere. But that again is not because he was created for the Mighty Nein; that was just Matt choosing a lot of paths of...I can't even say least resistance so much as least effort.

This was all a long way to say "the issue is that it feels like Matt sort of started to give up like 20-40 episodes prior to the finale, depending on opinion, and Ludinus was a big casualty of that, but a better-crafted C3 party that wasn't Bells Hells but was very different from the Nein would have done beautifully."

[hmura-hmara]

Something about Luke being the spitting image of his father

[spoondoodles]

I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)