#i know the One Day might be due to ur age but if u want to start looking into it

[skunkes]

Super good luck on yr procedure adventures cheye!!! Such an awesome thing I hope to do myself someday. Best of luck !! 🐈‍⬛🕊️

Thank u!!! Im waiting on call back from the surgery scheduler neow 🧿🧿🧿

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[sucrows]

Crow you interested me in ur femstars body headcanons now..... I would love to hear abt everyone but that might be too much work LMAO i invite u to share misc headcanons tho.... i love women

hope you know ive thought about this ask daily for the last 2 months, so its time to free it from its chambers and release the femstars body headcanons

gonna go wild and write as much or as little as i feel like for every character and ignore any i don't have any thoughts on. warning for talk about bodies and weight amongst other stuff

adonis: mostly muscular build but not in like... an instagram fitness influencer way in that she hyper focuses in on glutes. She works out upper body and lower body equally. she keeps her hair incredibly long but always has it up in some way. idk how accurate this is to canon but in MY eyes she used to be heavier before she got into being an idol but since she's moved to japan she's gotten more muscular. She still has the stretchmarks and loose skin in places to show for it. not particularly busty, probably a b or maybe c cup at most

chiaki: bangs and a high ponytail. her hair isn't all that long (just past soulder length) but it's enough that she can pull it up. really sickly as a child so she works out a lot and is decently muscular now.

himeru: if "willowy" were a person. Hair is long and straight and sleek. It falls in her face often. she and fem!adonis know each other well from working on shampoo commercials. Gives the impression of a "mean girl" until you chat with her

izumi: pixie cut. do you know how strict the ballet and modeling scene are on young girls? her self image is rough and she's still definitely struggling with the fact that bodies change as you age. She used to be really thin and was a late bloomer. She's still thin now and has a decent amount of muscle but fem!izumi is even more sensitive about her weight than regular izumi

kanata: short hair. what is up with everyone giving her long hair? if anything, the symbolism of kanata not having long hair anymore means even more if we're talking about fem!kanata.

keito: dresses reallllllyyyy conservatively until its for a job and then she flashes everyone with eyefulls of arm muscles and tits. Genuinely gorgeous and stunning. Bob with a small undercut for hair.

koga: ok i cannot picture her with one specific hairstyle so im going to just say she's always changing it up. She'll go "im growing it out!" and then the next day she's shaved her sides.

leo: her hair has not changed at all, she just plays with it a bit more often. Short and bony. basically the same as regular leo but even shorter.

mayoi: same hair as regular mayoi. very thin and not very shapely. She's not completely flat chested but her breasts are small enough that she can often get away with not wearing a bra. when she's not really anxious but not smiling she has a case of rbf and it's funny

niki: hair is same as regular niki. busty and bottom heavy. really reslly struggled to gain weight as a child and early teenage years due to her health issues but has gained weight as of becoming an idol due to having enough money to actually feed herself what she needs! yippee!

rinne: wolf cut! used to be long but one day after she got to the city she cut it and never looked back. does not work out often but somehow maintains a muscular physique.

ritsu: longer hair as a kid, same as regular ritsu now. permanently wears oversized clothing.

souma: almost identical to regular souma except shorter and with b cups

tatsumi: i am a short hair tatsumi truther. It was really long during reimei but it was such a hassle while she was hospitalized that she decided to go for the big chop. wants to grow it out again but has a bob as of canon time. anyways back to what everyone wants to hear: yeah she has a massive chest but she's kinda insecure about it. she's another one who grew up fat and still isn't quite used to everyone praising her now for having fat in the "right" areas. frequent practice has her a bit thinner than she used to be but do not get me wrong she is still fat (especially on her stomach and arms). oh yeah and also molessssss

Ok getting off my soapbox now i love women ❤️

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Zhongli headcanons

HI HELLO I'M BACK-- i finished my h/c list ages ago but then brainrot took over and i was caught between mini fic writing and schoolwork lmfao. anyway, zhongli's my precious lil mans and i must SCREAM abt him for a moment thank u.

current list: - FLUENT in the art of yapping. could weave a story abt a blade of grass, and y'all know bitches are listening. - i feel like most ppl are kinda intimidated by him. like regular average ppl look at him and are shaken by this sort of regal air he's got around him. - straightforward! he doesn't beat around the bush when he's got a point or needs something. this kinda thing also makes ppl more intimidated of him bc he's just very confident abt it. - WARM HANDS,,, - he gives me the vibes of a fidgeter. like he spins his rings on his thumbs, and will fiddle with the sleeves of his coat. like it's just a habit he picked up, and now he can't help but do it when his mind is wandering. - ON THE TOPIC OF FIDGETING: Guizhong's puzzle box. Zhongli's usually pretty good abt figuring things out when he's confronted w/ something confounding/confusing, but when he can't figure it out or it's a very hard thing to work through, i am CONVINCED that he fiddles with Guizhong's puzzle box. like it's sort of like him trying to solve her final question helps him solve the current Difficult Question he's faced with. absolutely probably fiddled w/ it when he was deciding what to do abt retirement. - this man LOVES antiques and art/music (he likes a lot of things tbh) and he will do anything to talk abt them. like he's probably one of the best antique appraisers, and has stories abt specific antiques he's seen before. as for opera and music and art, he just really appreciates their creativity! also sorry he would absolutely indulge in the art of calligraphy. - he hoards rocks. listen, he hoards them. he loves rocks, and when he finds a Perfect Rock, he just yoinks it (Perfect Rocks are hard to come by yk!!!). - he's usually very sweet and nice, and has a good attitude, but i'm PRETTY sure he's got a bit of pride to him yk. - listen,,, he was in a really long war and lost a lot of ppl he cared abt in the Archon War, and i'm like pretty sure he's got battle anxiety now bc of it. like he would MUCH prefer talking things out, but if push comes to shove he will still fight; he just tends to push himself to the front so that less people get hurt. he just REALLY wants to protect people, which makes him a little self-sacrificial (he's usually fine). he's also fucking PROTECTIVE as FUCK. - Zhongli has gold blood. not red blood, gold; i think this makes him more nervous around red blood bc it means to him that someone is hurt and he wasn't able to protect them. it's equated with Really Bad Things. - back to sad things, i'm 90% sure he's afraid of forgetting things due to erosion. he's always had a good memory, so the idea that he might one day have his memories eroded is one of his greatest fears. - i feel like all of his worries and concerns have turned him from a stern War God to a very gentle mans that will make u soup when ur sick. - Zhongli and Venti are the best of friends and he would deck that guy so hard if someone asked him to. Literally besties for the resties, they hate each other but someone fucks with one of em, the other's got his back. - Zhongli talks pretty, so ya know he's got That Sass that hits different. Like it's out of left field, and it probably doesn't register as a slight at first. sometimes it takes u a good hour before u realize he wasn't complimenting u and instead was calling u an idiot. - the definition of "curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back". literally exudes pure curiosity when he sees something he hasn't seen before. - he adores little gifts,,, like these small gestures would Never Be Noticed by anyone, except him, and he just thinks it's so fuckin sweet. - secretly a prankster. you Would Not Expect It from him, but that's what makes it so perfect. he's the PATIENT type of prankster, too; the one who moves the flower vase a cenimeter to the left every day over the course of a month type of patient.

HERE'S THE LIST, LOVE THIS MAN SO FUCKIN MUCH YALL plEASE,,, he's my pretty mans and i just foam at the mouth over him i s w e a r.

Up next is Neuvi, bc i love him, and then i'll be delving into the Very Specific Niche Ship i obsess over which is them as a poly.

[acerathia]

first off, let me give u a hug and a smooch. i'm so sorry you're having a bad day ru and just know that one misstep doesn't define anything. we all do it. it's gonna be okay even if it doesn't feel like it rn, i promise <333

and i wanted to humbly offer this song and some kenkashi lore even if you don't feel up to writing about it. i'd love to just chat about it bc hey, why not? but one of the songs i associate most strongly with the ship and tbh kakashi as a whole is silly girl by descendents.

there's a 6 year age gap between kakashi and i in the ship and this song reminds me one of the differences in that. while he's serious, he sees me as something light and a bit frivolous especially by the time we actually end up together and he's in his 30s and hokage and i'm in my late 20's trying to figure it out. he's so heinously disgustingly in love with this silly, light as air girl who ran away from home and tbh he has been for a long time. he'll always see me as the girl from the book shop who put away copies of those damn porn books for him. he'll always see me as the girl my grandma kept thrusting in front of him like "HEY. there she is! your one and only!" bc grandmas see things we don't at the time.

sigh. idk. i just love it. my silly girl i'm in love with you etc.

kendy :(( <3 thank u sm for ur kind words, i am kissing ur forehead and hugging u backk <33 and id love to just talk with u and be giggly about our men together 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ this song is such a bop tbh, it's like!!! love!!!!! and being silly!!!

and the way he sighs over his papers as he feels trapped by the towers of work, hindering from stopping by to visit you, to listen to your sweet giggle every time he presses a kiss onto you skin. and how he wished he could etch this sound, this sight into his very being.

your mere presence is enough to make him melt, to make all of his worries wash away, almost like they never existed in the first place. you're his save haven, his girl, the one he would never regret meeting. just a touch, skin against skin, you against him, gets rid of all the tension in his body, every worry he might have hidden deep within just disappears as he burries himself into your embrace.

how much he's missing you and your peaceful joy. what he would do if you were in the same room as him. yet, he didn't have a chance to ruminate over this possibility, as a knock rips him out of his dreams. only for a dream come true to appear. ignoring the papers in front of him, he takes a couple of steps towards you, to make sure that you're not just a mirage made by his mind due to his desire. your warmth floods his skin, as he pulls you closer to continue fulfilling more and more dreams with you by his side.

[just4notherd4ydre4mer]

Sibling headcanons [1/3]

(you are here) -> PART 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Important note: To the person who requested this, I will be splitting this into 3 parts so its more doable... and bearable to read through. Sorry that just these two took so long :') Enjoy tho!

content: [gn!reader], [olderbrother!kageura], [olderbrother!ninomiya]

status: unedited/not proofread + requested

character(s): Masato Kageura, Masataka Ninomiya

warning(s): mild cursing. Uhhh... likely wont be proofread? I dont think they're too OOC, but Kageura might be...

extra: Masterlist

(reader is around 10 years younger in my mind but its written in a way where you can imagine the age gap as whatever)

~~~

Masato Kageura:

Ur probably one of his favorite people tbh, if not THE favorite

Why?

because ur emotions towards him arent so prickly AT LEAST 60% of the time

Puts up w whatever antics you do and might go along with it

But also gets fed up w you so quickly

He's aggressively protective? Kind of.

Kage knows when you're upset w him due to his side effect

When he senses that, he usually does try to talk to you.

100% hates it when ur angry or upset towards him for more than a day.

He does his best to not have outbursts towards you

Always encourages you to stand up for yourself and gets absolutely pissed off if you dont.

He'll defend you despite that though

Will scold you when he's done

"Why're ya mad at me this time?!" He groaned in frustration, turning to face you.

The annoying, prickly sensation was crawling across his skin. He knew it was coming from you, the only other person in the room.

You glowered at him from your spot on the couch, right across the room from him.

"..."

"..."

Kageura gave you a narrowed eyed look of which you returned.

He apologized, "Alright, damn... Sorry for making a scene earlier."

"Good," you said.

Someone had bad mouthed you for outfit choice and the both of you had heard it. Kageura had expected you to at least give them a stern look but you didn't do anything. So, he stood up for you like a good big brother would.

Masataka Ninomiya:

He isn't as cold and arrogant towards you as he is to everyone else

But he is blunt and is still kind of an ass

Personally, I think he wouldnt be the best older brother, but also not the worst.

Would probably hurt ur feelings tbh LOL

and he'd mean it

If ur the type to friendly to everyone, it annoys him

He wont tell u tho (the one thing he wont bring up)

Ur still ur own person after all

Are u talented in something? Anything?

Ur not his sibling anymore /j

Ok but seriously, in his trivia it says he hates ppl with talent lmaooo

I have the feeling that if u are, he doesnt subject you to his opinion about that but always has that icy stare whenever he see's u doing whatever it is

You call him "Masa" and he doesnt care until you say it in front of someone, especially if they're from Border

In the end, ur his younger sibling and he treats you accordingly

Maybe buys you gifts for special occasions... but always gets u smth for ur birthday

Idk, he's just not the greatest sibling out there.

It was your birthday today. Everyone had wished you a happy one throughout the day. Well, everyone besides your own brother. But what could you do? It was the Masataka Ninomiya after all.

After his shift at Border, he dropped by your room. Usually an unexpected thing, but he seemed to remember that he had a younger sibling when it was your birthday.

"Here," he said with his normal blunt tone.

You didnt question him and simply took the item (pretend it's smth you've wanted for a while now). It wasnt even wrapped up...

After silently swallowing your subtle displeasure, you were thankful in the end, "Thanks Masa."

He ignored this nickname and began to walk out.

"Dinner's ready," he said from over his shoulder.

You suddenly couldn't help but wonder what his reaction was when he found out he was going to have a younger sibling. An amusing thought crossed your mind. It would've been really funny if he had actually made a face of worry or discontent. You were definitely going to bring it up to your parents during dinner.

~~~

to be continued...

word count: dont feel like looking

start: 7/04/23

finish: 7/09/23

a/n: gonna be honest. just these two should NOT have taken this long. the procrastination is hitting me... I PROMISE PT2 AND 3 WILL BE OUT SOON... <3

[theashesyoucall]

wait u said ur special interest is weed?

dude i have a question. i have autistic sensory issues and i have NOT been able to like weed, bc it leaves me feeling like im constantly falling. like the feeling of hypnic jerk just before u wake up. is that what all weed does? is there a specific strain or group of strains (?) to look for to avoid that feeling, or to have less body sensations? i know people say 'oh just try sativa' but that's. that's a whole big category.

also what chemical thing in weed makes my body feel like it's falling? have any idea?

This ask just made my day!! Maybe it's embarrassing, but it is one of my biggest special interests. Unfortunately, finding the "right" strain is incredibly complicated and based off each individual person's body and preferences, as well as factors like cost and location. Prepare for a long winded response.

Here are some tips for understanding the science behind weed and finding a strain that will work for you!

First off, indica and sativa is a classification that came about in roughly the 17th century and initially was only actually an indicator of where the plant was grown in the world! Sativa was what most people were smoking and Indica originally simply meant "grown in India". Obviously due to the difference in growing location, the plants looked different, smelled different, and had different effects when smoked-which is where the common misconception today comes that sativa gives you an uplifting head high and indica locks you on the couch. But the classification of indica or sativa actually means absolutely nothing! It's really all about terpenes!

Terpenes are chemical compunds found in all plants! When it comes to weed specifically, the terpenes found within the plant often dictate the general effects of the strain. Here is a great article that describes some of the widely associated effects of different common terpenes and strains that contain those terpenes!

The feeling of falling right before you wake up in a dream is a sensation I generally feel after I've smoked strains with the terpene Myrcene in them! Myrcene is generally described to offer a sedative effect-so if you don't like the feeling, I would start by trying to avoid strains with Myrcene and other terpenes simply described as "sedative".

On the other hand, terpenes like Farnesene and Limonene may at times be described as sedative, but are primarily described as "anti anxiety". Strains with these terpenes are generally better for people who get anxiety from smoking but still want to find their strain. My wife used to get very bad anxiety from smoking, so when she decides to smoke with me I like to find strains with those terpenes in them. She does not get anxiety anymore when she does choose to smoke!

Obviously, finding strains with certain terpenes is easier said than done sometimes. I exclusively buy from dispensaries because I live in Michigan where there's a dispensary with incredibly affordable options around every corner. I can buy a strain from a dispensary, google exactly who grew it, and oftentimes there's already a list of terpenes online for that exact strain.

But what if you buy from a plug?

This is where it gets a bit complicated. It goes without saying that if you are in a location where recreational dispensaries are legal, you are of age, and you have the money, then you should probably go there. I'm not stupid or entitled enough to think everyone is in that position, however. I spent my first several years of smoking buying from plugs. Obviously, try to only buy from very trusted sources-I have met a number of people who have bought weed from a plug that was laced with several different things. If your plug can tell you what strain you're buying, you can look it up to see what terpenes might be in it. That isn't always foolproof because you don't know the growing conditions of the plant and so many factors can contribute to the effects of a strain. On top of that, sometimes you'll buy a strain even from a dispensary that just straight up doesn't exist!

So what do you do?

My recommendation? Smell it!!! If you're buying a strain pretty blindly, give it a sniff. Terpenes generally have scents and flavors associated with them. Look for citrusy and sweet scents-many terpenes with anti anxiety effects are sweet, floral, and/or citrusy. Myrcene, a terpene mentioned above, generally smells earthy and spicy, so avoid those scents if you want to avoid myrcene!

Finally: If you continue to try weed and keep testing out strains and it still doesn't seem to work, maybe it just isn't for you! Weed helps lots of people, but just like everything else it isn't a cure all! You aren't lame and you don't have a stick up your ass if it doesn't work or even if you simply don't like it!

Thanks for the ask, I hope this helps! Happy smoking!

[polyamorouspunk]

legimately feel bad for gen z, never grew up with privacy and stuff like that. I know that one anon ofc very clearly stepped outta line n I made the joke anon msg about how u gotta tell me all ur info so I can call u a faker, but like legimately it's sad seeing kids put all their info online and when they're available or not etc etc, lotta gen z didn't grow up with properly privacy and the newer generation has it even worse. I hope the kids will be alright n we can push them into having more anonymity and privacy.

I said this in the tags but honestly if someone genuinely asks me a question about myself, I will answer, honestly sometimes even if it’s something I want to keep private. Recent events have reminded me that literally anyone can see this blog and follow me and I have no idea who they are. My Instagram isn’t private when a lot of people I know have theirs private but also I don’t really tag anything from where I live, the most I do is post pictures from my house but not with the town or anything. But I mean you can easily find where I work on here (like the exact store) if you tried, I’m pretty sure I’ve posted my full name multiple times on Savvy’s blog because I think I also grew up in that era where online privacy wasn’t a thing. I mean of course I got the “creepy men might be behind the computer screen catfishing you” but like idk I’m not saying I haven’t done things like that, they’re just mentioned conversationally not in a pinned post. I mean you can find my full first name on Savvy’s blog, obviously I don’t go by that and she prefers to go by Savvy because both are a bit more gender neutral and just more comfortable for us but. I have absolutely learned how to manipulate people to call them out for things I don’t like about them… mostly when they’re like exclusionists but if I really tried I’m sure I have the technical skills to like “cancel” someone for something they didn’t even mean out of context. I learned that by growing up in the internet age. How to take things out of context. That’s not really what you’re talking about but just another thing that came to mind. Like how much easier it is now to fake things and how 1. we are less trained to spot them and 2. they are deliberately made to be harder to spot as fakes. I mean I have had penpals though, I did just send out a shirt to someone who Savvy is mutuals with so like I have their address and they have mine. It’s a fine line. But I mean I used to listen to a stalker podcast (and by this I mean a literal podcast where two people interviews victims of stalking and told their story) and some of the stuff I heard on there was WILD. Just listened to a case I finished like half an hour ago about a woman who catfished a man into thinking he was dating her dying niece who the government and doctors were trying to kill and people ended up dying from the situation all from her charade of having multiple phone numbers and being able to fake personalities of characters she made up really easily. Just wild stuff. Had an assignment due last night that was a discussion board in biology and someone brought up technology and I was like we have the technology to literally change your bone structure and shit. Not the same as social media obviously but just like wild shit. Even at thanksgiving hearing one of my cousins was constantly talking to a boy in her class but my family said in class they like never speak to each other and I’m like that’s so wild. You don’t speak face to face but you see him every day. But you talk to him for hours every night. Just stuff like that is such a cultural shift. Such a fine line too as a parent between not trying to be overbearing and like read your kids text messages but also make sure they’re being safe. Can’t imagine how to navigate that as a parent. Like how do you know your child isn’t sending photos of themselves on Snapchat. Without like invading their privacy and reading their messages and stuff. Just wild.

[chiffaust]

HELLO!!! I LOVE UR LEO FIC SO MUCH. BUT ANWAYS! Can i req a Natsume x fem!reader that came home from work and is having a rrly bad day breakdown infront of him as he comfort and takes care of s/o and then cuddle the s/o to sleep? HEHEHEHEHHE THANK YOU AND HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!!! ☆

-🐌non (if u don't mind me being snail non!)

୨ৎ ۪ ࣪ BAD FORTUNE FOR TODAY? . . . S. NATSUME

〝 𓈈  𓈒  SYPNOSIS  𝄒  You had a terrible day today, he notices.

〝 𓈒  CONTENT  𝄒 hurt/comfort, ooc natsume(??), reader and natsume living in an apartment together, their age is not specified, reader's gender/pronouns not specified.

( n ) — note what a coincidence! i was also writing a natsume fanfic before i saw this request so expect to see me posting the other sooner or later ✧(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ and yes you can be snail anon its very cutee!!

natusme might be ooc im sorry idk how to wirite him acrually😭

It's nice to know that he is finally the first one to come home today.

He oftentimes comes home late due to some idol works and it always bothers him how you'd always have to wait for him longer than you should; it makes him feel guilty, really.

And to see that he has the apartment for himself, for now makes him quite relieved. But he does wonder where or what are you doing right now. Are you still at work? Are you on your way home? He hope it's the latter, but whatever, he'll wait. Just like how you'd always do for him.

And today, he bought you some takeouts of your favorite foods too!

As he sets the dinner on the table, he heard keys tingling from afar. Oh? You came sooner than he thought.

He heard the door being opened, but he didn't turn to look at you. "WelcoME home, koneko-chAN. I bought you your favorites fOR dinnER tonight." He welcomed your presence, yet he was still focusing on the dinner he had bought.

You were quiet, too quiet to be in fact. He remembers the last time he came home early; you literally tackled him into a hug. He was sure that today wouldn't be so different, so your quietness did rise suspicion in him.

He finally then turns around to look at you, shocked to see you to wear such a dejected expression. You don't look too good either in terms of physical appearance.

"WelcoME... Home...?" He repeated, tilting his head as the smile on his face turned into a frown when he sees you in such a discomposed state in appearance.

"Right. Uhm, thanks, Natsume. I really appreciate it." Your voice was stiff as you spoke all while taking off your shoes before walking into the apartment, giving him a peck on the cheek as per usual.

He would usually love your kisses, but today he knows something bothering you. He could pinpoint that it's due to work stress, but he doesn't know how to bring it up without fouling your mood further.

You smiled slightly as you see your favorite food on the table. "My favorite, huh? That's nice."

He coughed to his fist, clearing his throat as he smiles at you. "RigHT. ShaLL we eaT nOW?"

Dinner is quite awkward (for him). He should—he wants to ask you whether you're fine or not like a good boyfriend he is, but he doesn't want you to suddenly get mad at him or something.

So he just looks at you, his brows furrowed as countless of scenarios overlaps his head. Well, it can't be that bad, right?

"Natsume, you're staring."

"Sorry, I was tOO mesmerizED by your beauTY to the poiNT wheRE I couldn't look awAY."

"... Natsume." You looked at him dead in the eyes. He maintains eye contact for a while before signing, finally giving up.

"Koneko-chan, arE you okAY?" His question was your breaking point. You've tried your best to not just burst out into tears, but of course he has to ask that. Natsume, that fucking bastard. Before you knew it, tears were already falling down your face.

And those tears were the only thing he needs to see in order to know whether it was great or not.

"S-shit. Sorry, I-I... Just..." You covered your face with your hands, desperately trying to wipe the tears off your face.

"It's alrigHT, would you liKE to talk to me aboUT it?" He asks, getting up from his seat to go right next to you.

He kneels on one knee on the ground, placing his hands on yours as he looks at you in the eyes, smiling gently at you; reassuring you that you aren't bothering him at all.

"I-it's..." You trailed off, tears falling down your face more.

You told him all about it, the things that bothered you at work, those annoying assholes who won't shut up; all of it, and he listens earnestly, hugging you gently if he ever sees you looking like you're going to cry once again.

Once you feel better, he'll give you a peck on the lips. "And isn't thAT bettER now you've gottEN all of it oUT of your systEM?" He asks, smiling happily.

"Yeah, thanks, Natsume..."

"No problem, Koneko-chan. I'm happy to heLP you." He said before kissing you on the lips once again.

"I love you." He muttered.

"I love you too." You muttered back, chuckling slightly as you mess with his hair. Oh, how you love him so much. 

[tmabutlesbian]

i need to study mike crew's character cause i wanna ship him n integrate him in more of my hc's. this is me, reacting to his wiki page.

love that the only thing they say abt mike at the start of his page is that he's an avatar of the vast. like yh no shit

oh damn we have his date of death, i always forget tma is like. very well dated?? like months n days n shit i always forget, i assume its all very. up to interpretation. some of it definitely is. we dont got no bday tho :((( thats kinda sad

mike is: thin, pale, short, has the iconic scar on his neck n back, n has pale eyes. he also smells of ozone. king <3

ok, age 8, boy got hit by lighting, n then because his life might as well get worse, he gets chased around by a spiral avatar (not the distortion, which is always fun seeing other interpretations of the fears outside of the more iconic or reoccurring ones), that tormented him with illusions of storms, poor guy

omfg????? boy became an orphan by 17 cuz he found some corruption leitner n it killed his parents. king moved on tho n right away wanted to search for more, hoping it would help him with his spiral problem. pretty cool. true that i cant remember how he reacted during his statement, the wiki is just here to inform n shit, but hes very practical in a way. parents die because of powerful book. hes being chased by a powerful entity. theres gotta be some book that can help him. smart n practical, might also be a way to like. quickly move on from his parents' death by just. focusing on a goal. he sure is stubborn, so many years still alive whilst being chased by a monster is amazing

ok, 1996, we dont know how old he is, but he finds boneturners tale, tries to remove his scar, doesnt work cuz he's full of fractals ig so he leaves it in some library with some other books. he probs doesnt like his scar for trauma reasons, might also be for insecurity reasons, we all know how cruel children n teenagers can be

1997-98, he found ex altiora after frequenting some library. he bound the spiral creature to the book n devoted himself to the vast. i mean, shit, me too, u go ur whole life being tormented by some monster, some other power kills it, i too would devote myself to it, if anything for the fact that it can provide some type of protection. again, mike's a pratical n smart guy, but he obviously doesnt rly know know a lot abt the fears, hes kinda winging it, which is. very impressive. all that he's learned has been on the fly (not a pun either)

2005, he becomes a stalker, 2006 he keeps doing it n feeds his god of the vast by freaking one of the guys out. this is in paris, which means hes travelling around. probs already used to doing so on the hunt for leitners, he might as well keep going now that he has funky sky powers

2017 he meets our boy jon. scar is still a sensitive issue, which is valid, so he fucks jon up a bit after he offended mike abt it. he gives a statement but then he is killed n buried which is. just sad. he was so iconic

im gonna go down the statements n add anything else of value.

mag 4: page turner: love that the spiral creature is stuck there on the book, with mike's scarring, its kinda cool. also this was in 2012, statement in 2013. im assuming dominic n mike r of the same age since they used to play together, so i was hoping to see some hint abt his age.

also mike smells of ozone constantly probs due to becoming n avatar of the vast, since the book ex altiora also smelled of ozone. interesting.

mag 46: literary heights: mike is a uni student, or at least looks like one. so im gonna assume he was in his 20s?? during 1998. he also keeps his scar hidden.

books on demonology?? does he think the spiral monster is a demon? kinda fair tbh. also what kinda akward situations arose from mike having to run away from the spiral thingie everytime he smelled the ozone? did he leave in the middle of multiple classes?? did it catch him mid piss one time?? actually what if he was in the bathroom chilling n smelled ozone?? wtf do u do???

ok, mike being a bit of a hermit n staying inside his home for weeks, bunch of latin shit around him, probs from the demonology books. he stole ex altiora n then fled not after herbert found him but when the creature found him n he ran, with herbert giving chase.

mike performs some ritual with latin to bind the creature to the book in exchange for his devotion to the vast. he throws himself out the window with the creature following behind. jon believes the mike was using the book to protect or ward him, which yh seems like it.

ah ok the spiral thing is the lichtenberg figure which is what gives mike his scars ig. interesting how smth so related to the vast can actually be from the spiral depending on what it does n means, with the illusions of storms n what not. we always assume anything sky related is vast but here lighting is very much spiral. thats cool.

mag 75: a long way down: mike is described as a short young man. event happened during 2006, so rly it depends on what young man means for the statement giver. if in 1998 he was in his 20's, in 2006 hes around 28 years old, maybe. hes also wearing a grey faded suit so 1) not much for colors huh n 2) wears shit until they break, same

mike feeding the vast in a pretty chill way, probs very happy to be free of torment n also have cool fear powers. he does seem bored so it could be more of a chore for him than anything else, mike just wants to live basically. also pre leitner mike must be different from post leinter mike, since jon notes ppl change after using leitners. so theres also that. the loss of ur humanity might also do that to u but idk

mag 89: twice as bright: jude is in her 50s!! didnt know that.

mike hangs around with the fairchilds, which is just jude's way of saying hes from the vast. id assume mike wouldnt hang out with them, just feel like hes used to dealing with things alone. also he is closer to jon's lot than hers, which could mean several things. i guess mike did search for knowledge everywhere for a while, even if it was all for survival n not for a need to know.

mag 91: the coming storm: love how jon goes to meet mike n he offers him tea, which means they r at mike's house, he has a home. with tea in it. i wonder if hes good at making it or not. mike likes his privacy n also that jon should learn how to respect others, which tbh just feels like he is older than jon which yh, if this is 2017 n if in 2006 he was around 28, he is around 39, maybe.

theres no lasting damage from his lighting incident the doctors say, except the trauma i guess. "Lichtenberg figures are fractals and while he could not see them, his fingers could feel them on his skin. When he felt them in the dark they went on and on" now thats pretty interesting, no wonder he didnt like his scars much if they felt all weird n funky like that.

i just googled them n see this: "Lichtenberg figures are fern-like patterns that may appear on the skin of lightning strike victims and typically disappear in 24 hours." thats not what happened to out boy!! might been because it was a supernatural thing tho so yh. wonder if his doctors freaked out a bit, also wonder what kind of treatment he got from his unusual scarring. but i also think this might happen, but its rare.

after touching his scars, the spiral thing started chasing him. it tricked him by making him think a storm was always coming, n it never hurt him but it always terrified him, which is fair cuz i mean wtf

ohhh very much avatar of the spiral with the corridors, making him dream of endless lighting corridors. then he woke up, went to his small garden at the back, n he saw an endless dark forest, the branches reached down from the sky n there was a strong smell of ozone. its interesting how this is an avatar of the spiral but its so laden with the vast.

after parents die he understands theres more to the supernatural n starts exploring. "The creature that followed him was a branch of the Twisting Deceit, which had, perhaps foolishly, taken a form from the sky" interestinggggg so the entities can take forms of things related to other entities, this is so cool!!

"he faintly remembers feeling resigned and desperate, though he cannot understand these feelings now" hmm so post leitner n post becoming an avatar he doesnt remember why he felt resigned before doing so, but like, ure giving up ur humanity n shit, n mike did it cuz he wanted to live in peace, like ofc. its like choosing the lesser evil n shit.

he has killed multiple ppl since he says its hard to keep track, but also i feel like his memory is not the best, considering he cant remember the night he became an avatar correctly.

can be punched n killed pretty humanly so theres that as well. might also be because daisy is from the hunt tho.

thats all i have, this was kinda cool. my boy mike <3<3

[sailorrequest]

NXX boys as songs in my spotify playlist that reminds me of them

Warning: too much fluff for me to handle

Artem Wing

Blueberry eyes by MAX and SUGA

If dating artem was a song it would be this 

Lets all admit it once again

His eyes are so pretty 

But asides from his eye color 

This is how he would feel during the first stages of the relationship 

It probably hasn't sink in yet that he is finally dating you 

Blue hour by TXT 

He absolutely jams out to these type of songs in secret 

For some reason, I can see this song as when you guys had your first date 

I mean you might accidentally refer to him as “Mr. Wing” due to working with him for a long time and def out of habit 

But as time goes by, yall def would enjoy ur time w each other 

Forgetting that the day is abt to end

Luke Pearce 

Everything has changed by Taylor Swift (Taylor’s version)

This song gives me when you guys first met 

AKA back in kindergarten

I imagine Luke to be more shyer due to his parents dying at such a young age 

Then you came up to him and asked if he wanted to play with u 

Of course he did 

I like to imagine that Luke plays a guitar 

So when that song came out 

He learned the chord and both of yall would sing ur hearts out 

Until he left for NCU 

Then he came across this song again 

Nostalgia flooded in and def shed some tears 

Maybe this time by Sarah Geronimo 

OMG THIS SONG IS AMAZING BSHBUSVCUGUIGIQG

This song reminds me of when you guys bumped each other again in the future during the Pedro Brooke case 

He was 100% def trying to hold his tears back 

His life become much more nicer after meeting u again 

His 3 decade long crush decided to show up again and his feelings grew stronger 

It never faded anyways 

Vyn Richter 

Love like me by Steven Universe 

This song represents how he finally starting opening bit by bit to you 

He realize that world isn't that horrible compared to what he initially thought before 

He felt so welcomed by a warm ray of lights 

He started to enjoy life and the things that surrounded him 

Serendipity by JIMIN 

This song reminds me of when you accepted Vyn for himself and not just the “Dr. Richter” that everyone knows 

I can see Vyn looking at ur eyes with the most devotion towards u 

He def feels more safer around u and lets his guard down around u 

This also reminds me of the 2nd Anni card when he propose to u and admitted that his idea did not went to his plan but its fine because he loves u with his whole heart <33

Marius Von Hagen 

Shut up by Greyson Chance 

This song reminds me of when he finally realized that he likes you 

This took place like after the first meeting and seeing how you stood ur ground 

Marius realized that you are maybe the one 

He absolutely loves everything abt u and adores it so much 

This song was playing in his art studio when he was painting and blushing

Marius was def feeling too much butterflies when Vincent came to him and brought him some snacks 

Vincent thought Marius had a heart attack and panicked so much 

Until Vincent found out abt Marius’s crush towards u

Treasure by Bruno Mars 

This song reminds me when u and him would dance around his art studio 

Hypes u up at everything 

Reminds how much of an amazing person u are <33 

One of his happiest memory of u 

This song just gives me pure serotonin just like how he is around u 

[mayaillusion22]

Hello!

This is for the 500 followers game.

Thank you for doing this. It's so cute.

I love the idea.

My sister has 0° Cap Mars. Even the Cap Moon myself cannot handle her energy when it comes to work. I personally think if a personal planet is in 0 or 29 degree, it expresses itself the most.

I personally consider conjunctions with personal planets to 10 degree orbs. From my experience with a lot of ppl I know, it is effing true.

Im a plutonian with venus conjunct my scorpio Ascendent so I feel more related to my venus. I'm a woman btw. I feel like my pisces mars always stops me from being mean to ppl and I hate it.

Physical Attractiveness?

Taurus men with Aries energy.

Idk why but Taurus whether women or men is my soft spot. I srsly cherish them.

My question for you is...

My chart ruler pluto has only 1 aspect.

Pluto in 1H squaring 10H Jupiter in 5° orb.

I just wanna know ur personal view on this one cuz I feel like all the explanations online aren't really clear to me.

Sorry if I ask you too much. You can ignore some parts if u want to.

Again thank you for doing this.

Have a wonderful day!

Thank you soooo much ♥️

**********************

Jupiter square Pluto :

You have a fighting spirit. You might live by your own rules. This aspect can indicate someone extremely ambitious. You can feel like you have to have the “upper hand” intellectually. There is a lot of famous people with this aspect, however, this goes hand in hand with a troubled personal life and a string of broken relationships. You need to learn to balance work with personal life. You can feel like you can’t let go at times. If you learn to untie your self défense and realize that everyone who does not think like you or follows you is not out there to get you. Then you can grow into your true self. Don’t be too critical on yourself.♥️ Open up to others belief system. There may be a lot of tests and challenges in your quest for success. This is the nature of the square aspect. Some challenges would be really painful due to the dark and extreme nature of Pluto. There may be a lot of fluctuations in your financial situation. This inharmonious aspect causes friction between the inner and outer world. You might suffer from internal confusion. You are likely to experience a significant change in belief regarding the religious or philosophical belief system you grew up within. There may be events that bring about disillusioning experiences that will ultimately transform your perspective. Overseas travel and mixing with other cultures can really help you. Don’t be too critical on yourself. ♥️ There is a lot of positive outcomes with this aspect, but you have to be more open and ready to transform ( Pluto) yourself with the themes related to Jupiter.

Pluto in the 1st:

Even if you are quiet, your presence is always noticed.

Your life would be constantly transforming.

You have the ability to overcome anything. Fighters and survivors. ♥️

You have an alpha personality.

You have a very straightforward and blunt means of expressing yourself.

You might judge yourself, before anyone else do that.

You can hide a lot of hidden anger.

I’ve noticed that you guys tend to walk like serpents.😬 Lemme explain. The hypnotic serpent that’s mesmerizing and magnetic that attracts everyone with their presence and eyes👀.

Your stare is seductive and erotic. Soooo intense and mesmerizing.😍

There is a possibility for natives with Pluto in the 1st house to have spent a difficult childhood.

A lot of these people might have suffered abuse or bullying from a young age. ♥️

You might have been isolated from others in your childhood, because of that, you’ve learned to be independent and to never trust others. Therefore, living in the shadows is quite natural for you.

There might be some emotional scars left from your early years. This can make you rather harsh and difficult to handle.

You might avoid physical exchanges. You hate when someone touches you without asking or telling you.

You can learn from every person, event, experience that you go through. You learn in order to better know yourself and master your own identity.

You don’t like to feel misunderstood. You can be very obsessed with «  studying » the trauma that you experienced through astrology or therapy.

When you desire something, you will do everything to get it. 💪🏻

You can even accidentally intimidate others, just by being present near them.

Hope it resonated with you♥️.

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[englishbreakfasttae]

obsession | jjk

➵ Warnings :  🔞

This work of fiction contains dark themes and may not be suitable for all readers, mutual masturbation, phone sex, praise kink, cursing/dirty talk, pillow riding, exhibitionism, dom!jimin, sub!reader, voyeurism, mild degradation, fingering, yandere character, stalking, hacking, manipulation.

➵ Word count : 6.1k

➵ Masterlist : click here

➵ Tags : @ mwitsmejk

➵ Author’s note : this the edited and newest version of obsession. i had previously started writing it last year and published it till chapter 5 (i believe). however, i ended up not liking how the story turned out so here i am attempting to make something out of it for the final time. please let me know your thoughts. constructive criticism is always welcomed. 

Art credit : NaBHaN (devianart)

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C H A P T E R  1 :--

C U R I O U S I T Y  K I L L E D  T H E  C A T

“I’m so curious about knowing the unknown; it can be scary, but I see it as a game.”

– Hrithik Roshan

You place the cup on the auburn table. Warm liquid flows out of it leaving a mark on wood’s surface in the shape of a ring. You stare at it, you stare at the computer screen, and then back at the table covered with reminiscent of pomegranate tea. Wiping the stain using your index finger as your legs fidget under the desk. How bad can it be? It’s just a one-time thing, and you’re experienced enough to venture out on your own. You think about the time K00kies97 warned you about the dark side of the internet as you contemplate your decision.

K00kies97 : ur still new dont do it alone anytime soon

You : it’s not that deep

K00kies97 : but its dangerous

K00kies97 : you never know who youll run into

You : fine :/

You : what are we learning today?

K00kies97 : ARP poisoning

He was quite surprised to know your interests, well, to some extent. He had an interesting username, you always thought. It wasn’t rocket science but it was something that he was proud of, creating the lamest username to bluff people into thinking it was just one of those run-of-the-mill accounts that liked to shop online and play Overwatch. Of course, you didn’t speculate on your own that it was a hacker’s account. But what you did guess right was that he was born in 1997, someone around your age. And that he perhaps liked cookies a lot.

It’s been three weeks since you have continued your lessons or even talked at all. You met on Reddit one fine day; he came across your subreddit on wanting to learning hacking but not being able to find a tutor. He needed to pay college tuition and it was just a perfect source of extra income that didn’t clash with his part-time job and the timing was flexible for both of you. It was a match made in heaven.

You’re not going lie to yourself about your little crush on him. It’s bizarre because you’ve never met him, never seen his face, never even heard his voice. But you think a lot about him these days, something you’ve never revealed to him. There’s something very attractive about a stranger who knows his way around the internet and can-do cool things. It turns you on.

The cold spell between the two of you was caused due to an argument you had over exploring deep web own your own, which he dismissed faster than Barry Allen travelled from one timeline to the other. It hurt your ego to see someone think you’re not good enough to take a risk on your own so you ended up arguing.

Now you’re regretting your decision but your pride won’t let you text him first. Well, at least not with an apology. You brainstormed and concluded that if you’re able to achieve this milestone on your own and send him a victorious text, things might go back to normal. You have made up your mind.

You nervously shuffle on your chair, elbows pointing diagonally as you type away on the Tor browser. You come across a few chains of links and click on it. You know you shouldn’t absentmindedly open any link that pops up as it can contain viruses or something even worse. But you feel like a child at a candy store, all the links are like different flavours of sweet heavens; it’s not good for your health but it’s quite tempting. You stumble across certain chartrooms filled with conversations and codes you don’t understand.

Clicking on a link that leads to a forum, you try to crack the encryption using your basic coding skills mustered up with the training by K00kies97 in the past four months. It is an easy task and you realise why – it’s a website similar to Silkroad or even a branch of it, for all you know. You mentally pat yourself for starting successfully. But you don’t stay on the website for long, you click on the exit button. As you voyage through various links a chat window pops up at the bottom of the screen. The message reads a simple and non-threatening “hi”.

Excitement surges in your body as you eagerly begin to reply. The once warm tea is now cold, waiting to be tasted but you couldn’t care less. You have a new source of entertainment. You reply with a “hello”. Patiently tapping your fingers on the edge of your keyboard, you wait for their reply. Within a few seconds, you receive a link. Curiosity gets the best of you and you click on it.

The screen goes blank and you see your terrified reflection on the dark display. You reach out to the keyboard but before you can type anything, the screen comes back to life as if nothing happened. The chart box is still open and their username now reads EdgarAllenPoe.

EdgarAllenPoe : Gotcha.

You : wtf was that?

EdgarAllenPoe : What was what?

You : what was that link? is it some sort of virus?

EdgarAllenPoe : No my dear. I was just fucking with you. XD

You : it’s not even funny

You : fuck off

You quickly press on the X button, wanting nothing to do with the creep anymore. You close all the tabs, re-check your VPN access, deep clean your computer, and search for a possible breach of privacy – you find nothing suspicious. Stretching your arms, you release a long yawn. You get up and walk towards the bathroom, wanting to take a shower after a long tiring day. What you don’t realise is the turning on of your monitor’s webcam; the tiny red dot gleaming slightly and then vanishing all at once, unnoticed by your worn-out self.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

Sitting on the edge of your bed, your legs swing back and forth as droplets of water runs down your spine, clad in a baby pink bathrobe. You stare at his photo. His silver hair parted; his plump lips formed in a cutesy pout – he smiled like an angel. You scroll past that post and find him at a club, an old-fashioned whiskey glass gripped loosely in his hand as he looked at the camera. He had a devilish grin on his face.

Six months, fourteen days, and twenty-two hours ago was the last time you had sex which was a breakup sex with your long-term boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend – Park Jimin. You had been dating him ever since high school, your friends even called you the ‘ideal couple’. Everyone around you, though very happy to see you two together, was jealous of how they didn’t have what you lovebirds had. What they didn’t know was that with time your liaison had lost the spark. The physical aspect of the relationship was evergreen but the emotional half of it had slimmed down to the point you two sat together one day and decided that it’s better to part ways. It was a mutual agreement.  

It took you some time to move on but somehow it was easier than you thought. Maybe it was because you had it coming even before the breakup. But now because of your ever-so-growing libido, you couldn’t resist wanting to see him again. You had tried online dating, and even going on blind dates but none could par with Jimin. He was like the human version of Aphrodite. You can never resist him. And you feel guilty as charged for constantly communicating with him in the past few weeks.

What started as a casual post breakup conversation on social media has now bloomed into “yes, I want to fuck you… no, I want to get fucked by you both physically and emotionally.” Pfft, you didn’t say that to him in real life, it was just a thought you possessed in the back of your sexually frustrated mind. You had decided today to phone him and to talk.

“Hello?” His soft voice makes a smile creep up on your face when he picks up after the third ring.

“Hi Jimin,” you sigh contently.

“_ _ _, ah how are you?” Jimin straightens his posture as he realises it’s you.

“I am- I am doing great actually,” you lie. You’re anything but great. You want to lunge on him and rip his clothes off but that would be an odd conversation starter. “How have you been?”

“Just a little tired, it’s going to be midnight here in America.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you chuckle embarrassingly. “I didn’t realise it’d be so late there. I can call you some other time then.”

“No no no no.” You hear his velvety laughter. “It’s the perfect time to talk…” He hesitates. “I kind of miss you.”

Your heart skips a beat. Pulling your phone away from your face, you internally scream. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. What are you supposed to reply with?

“I guess I feel the same way, hence, the phone call.” You sound like you’re uncertain rather than returning his heartfelt confession. You mentally face-palm yourself for acting like a fourteen-year-old teenage girl talking to her crush.

You imagine him shrugging on the other side, a stupid smile flaunting on his face – which turns out to be true. You know him so well. “What are you doing?”

“I just took a shower.” You answer as you fiddle with the string of your bathrobe.

He asks with mischief laced in his tone. “And what are you wearing?”

“Right now? You know, a robe. The baby pink one.” You blush thinking about how he can turn the conversation in a completely different direction.

“Apparently, your favourite colour,” you add.

“Hmm, interesting.” You hear him shuffle. Is he sitting on a bed too? “Do you want to take it off? I’d like you to take that off.”

“Maybe.” You tilt your head to the side as you view your reflection in the floor-length mirror facing your bed. You see yourself lazily sprawled across the satin covers with your legs spread open, suspended from the bed.

You slowly untwine the strap of fabric holding your robe together, all while your eyes remain focused on your reflection. As the robe descends your body and falls on the bed, bit by bit your figure is unravelled. The wrap comes undone flaunting your glistening collarbone and your perked-up breasts, nipples poking out. And your soft tummy, and your belly button, and… The reveal stops there.

“It’s off,” You confess.

Jimin’s demeanour changes. “Good girl. Are you in your room?” He asks in a husky low-toned voice. His voice dives directly to your core and you shudder.

“Yes, I am. On the bed, facing the mirror.” You hear a low grunt. He knows your little kink for exhibitionism and your vintage mirror that you keep for the sole purpose of looking at yourself when you do dirty, dirty things. And you know how much he loves it.

“You just love it when your pretty little naked body is on show?” He whispers sensually.

“I do.”

You are growing impatient. He can hear it in your voice. But he’s the type of person who likes to torture slowly. He sinks into his couch, tilting his head to the side, and reaches down to palm himself through his pants. The mere knowledge of him being the cause of your frustration is turning him on.

“Jimin?” You whimper. Why isn’t he responding to you? You are growing more and more frustrated as the seconds pass by.

“Yes, dear?” You moan when the words leave his mouth. You loved it when he called you with nicknames. You love nicknames. You run your cold fingers across your hardened nipples, pinching it slightly.

“What are you doing right now?”

“Guess?”

“Mhm, must be something outrageous,” he groans. “I want you to take that pretty hand of yours lower. Do it slowly. And touch yourself.”

You put him on speaker mode and place the phone beside you. You leisurely lift your robe completely, leaving you stark naked. You spread your legs further and view your dripping slit in the mirror as you run two fingers up and down. It makes you moan harder. Which makes him release a grunt he didn’t know he was holding.

Jimin quickly unzips his pants and shoves it halfway down his thighs along with his boxers. His cock springs free, bobbing against his stomach. After gaudily spitting into his palm, he drags it up and down his shaft. You mewl as you hear him making a mess of his cock.

“Oh fuck, _ _ _ _. You make me so hard.”

“Mhm.”

“Now put a finger inside.” You obey as he says, your uneven moan answering his order.

You fondle with your breasts with one hand and finger yourself with the other as you put on a show for your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes flutter shut as you imagine Jimin pumping himself – his pretty face covered in pearls of sweat, his thick eyebrows furrowed, his long eyelashes shut, and his luscious pink lips puckered in a pout. The urge to kiss him right now is increasing as your moans get muddled and you near your peak.

“Fuck, Jimin!” You whine.

Jimin’s relaxed strokes have now increased its pace. He bites his lips trying to suppress his vulgar groans. He needs to remember that it’s midnight where he lives and he does not want to wake up his neighbours. His lifted shirt exposes his defined abs, droplets of sweat dripping down and reaching his pubic hair streaming down from under his belly button to his member.

“Jimin, fuck! I want you so fucking bad.” You’re panting desperately, rubbing your clit vigorously while you finger yourself.

“I know doll. I want you under me. I want to fuck you so bad and so hard, just the way you like it.

“You sound so fucking needy.”

“Is that so? Put another finger inside. Now!” You know you pulled a nerve but it’s turning you on even more.

“Y-yeah,” you reply, easing in another finger. You’re indeed so wet and ready. If only it was his hardened length entering you. You’re left with your incomplete want for only a second when Jimin’s hoarse voice cuts your train of thoughts.

“Now put a third finger.”

“What? It’s too much.” You try to even out your breath. He hisses in return.

“Do as I tell you.”

You insert your ring finger inside your dripping wet cunt, cursing under your breath while adjusting to the tightness.

“What was that?”

“It’s too tight Jimin.” You say honestly.

“My baby has not been fucked rightly all these months,” he manages to form the perfect sentence all while pumping himself so hard he’d combust any moment. He wants to make you feel good, and for that, he’s willing to do anything right now. Even if it ends up waking up his neighbours.

“Fuck Jimin, I’ve been waiting for your big dick.”

“I’m here now baby”

“I want you to ruin me with that big fat cock,” you gasp.

That’s all it takes for Jimin to come undone as he lifts his hips off the couch and fucks himself upward into his hand while moaning your name as loudly as possible.  Your dirty talk has that effect on him. It still amazes him when a person who looks as innocent as you, with your puppy eyes, can say those lewd words.

You have not reached your high yet, you’re edging. Jimin catches his breath and tries to compose himself. Wiping off sweat from his face he coos. “Is there a pillow nearby?”

“Yes, hold on.” You hastily pick up an idle pillow and wait for his further instructions.

“Fold it, and ride it,” he whispers. “Ride the pillow imagining it’s me.” You turn around and sit up on your knees. You angle the folded pillow in a way that you’re again facing the mirror. You lower yourself till your core touches its surface, you hiss the moment your dropping clit comes in contact with the soft fabric.

“Good girl.”

You look right into the mirror making eye contact with your reflection. You bite you lower lip, your teeth grazing the soft skin delightfully. You gently rock yourself gently all while looking yourself in the mirror, causing an eruption of friction between your heat and the fabric. It feels so good. You hold the pillow with one hand while squeezing your breast with the other. “It feels so good.”

“I know baby. Are you imagining riding me?”

“Yes,” you confess. You imagine Jimin laying down under you instead of the pillow. You imagine running your palms across his toned abs and his soft locks. You pivot your hips faster and roll your head back, closing your eyes. You breast jiggles as you increase your pace. Jimin guides you through the high, in his sweet seductive voice.

“Say my name,” Jimin urges.

You moan his name again and again as if it’s a hymn that’ll save you from everything. You buck your hips harder and pant breathlessly. You know you’re very close. Your body starts trembling and you have to use both your hands to balance yourself on the bed.

“Come for me baby, come for me.”

You let go of all the restraints you’ve been holding for so long. His command is enough to make you shudder and release. You arch your body, whimper loudly for the whole world to hear, and roll your eyes to the back of your head as you reach orgasm. Your body is still slowly rocking back and forth, riding the euphoria. You look at yourself in the mirror; face glowing both with sweat and the after effects of pleasure, hair bunched up in a mess, and knees placed weakly on the bed. You plop flat on the bed and try to calm yourself.

You both stay quiet on the line for a while, trying to match each other’s inhaling and exhaling.

“Jimin?” You rasp.

“Hmm?”

“When will you come back to Korea?”

He hesitates for a bit, drawing in a wave of disappointment in the pit of your stomach. You regret asking him at all, knowing the answer.

“Soon,” he answers cautiously.

“Alright,” you bite your lip. “It’s getting quite late Jimin, you should get some rest.”

Jimin doesn’t fail to notice the change in your tone. He doesn’t know what to say, he cannot comprehend how he feels.

“Thank you for today, Good night ___.”

“Good night,” you say softly and end the call. You throw your phone across the bed and sigh. You look up at the ceiling wondering what must be going on in Jimin’s mind. There’s nothing you can come up with, he is unpredictable sometimes. You hate it and you give up on thinking.

You’re slowly drifting off to slumber but jolt upright when you hear your cell phone chime. It must be Jimin, you think. You’re hopeful.

You reach for your phone and unlock it. Your heart is beating recklessly. You become disappointed again when you see it’s a message from an unknown number. Yet, you still open it.

Unknown [ 1:10 PM ]

You are a dirty little girl.

That’s highly unlikely of Jimin. You decide to reply anyway.

You [ 1: 13 PM ]

who’s this?

The reply comes so fast, it seems like the person was waiting for your answer all this while.

Unknown [ 1:14 PM ]

You know, an old friend.

You [ 1:15 PM ]

i’m sorry, could you be more specific?

Unknown [ 1:15 PM ]

Of course, my love. This is Edgar Allen Poe. You can call me Poe.

Your blood turns cold. You reread the message once again, and again, not believing the sight your eyes are seeing. This cannot be happening. How did this person get your phone number? You gulp hard and look on your left, your computer sitting straight, daunting you to turn it on. Your beating heart is telling you two things. One, you’re fucked. And two, you need to contact K00kies97 so that he can fix the blunder you’ve created.

You hear another notification and look at your phone screen.

Unknown [ 1:19 PM ]

Oh, don’t look so glum now. Doll.

You desperately look around the room, searching for a hidden person peeping at you through the window or someone braking into your house. You find no one. The text is mocking you, and you know it. You are scared but you don’t know what to do.

As a starter, you block the Unknown phone number first and head for the computer.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

A week has passed by and you haven’t received any form of communication from the self-proclaimed Edgar Allen Poe, you laugh bitterly recalling their name. You think it’s a mere coincidence, them naming themselves as your favourite author. After brainstorming with K00kies97 you came to the conclusion that it is just some decent hacker trying to mess with you. You have also learned your lesson that one shouldn’t wander in places that are dark and unknown.

It was quite surprising for you when K00kies97 forgave you so quickly without a single word of reprimand, he was willing to help you to solve your problem in a breath. If it was you in his place, you wouldn’t have forgiven someone easily but you’re thankful that he’s not like you. He’s kind, that much you know. And you’re thankful that even after being scared as hell, he can somehow make you feel calm. He has that effect on you.

“You’re dozing off quite a lot,” points out Wendy as she looks warily at your fatigued form. “And look at the bags under your eyes.” Your dear friend aims her index finger at your face.

“Please tell me it’s because of rendezvous with a hot guy rather than the amount of studying you’ve been lately doing,” Jisoo chimes in as she nods in your direction.

“Eh it’s nothing much, I’ve been binge-watching Netflix these days,” you fake a chuckle which doesn’t go unnoticed by Wendy.

“No worries, love. I’m back from my aunt’s place and we’re going to have a restful blast!”

“Restful blast?” Jisoo deadpans.

“Can you guys keep quiet?” A pale guy sitting across the library desk looks quite frustrated as flicks his gaze from Wendy to Jisoo to you.

Just as Jisoo is about to respond with something sassy you get up and pull her by her elbow, “guys it’s 5:00 PM already, we should take a break for today.”

Wendy arranges her stationary supplies and gathers it in her Satchel. You have a habit of walking home with Wendy and Jisoo after long hours of studying at the university library. You’ve always liked doing things with Wendy ever since you were kids. You used to play in her backyard, her mum used to bake cookies and give it to you in a Tupperware to take home. You mum then used to bake pumpkin pies and give you the job of delivering. Wendy and you then used to finish all the pie whilst sitting on her kitchen counter. You two shared everything, from clothes to homemade food to secrets. Your bond was unbreakable. Jisoo joined the squad much later so there’s still a lot to bond but she’s extremely valuable to you as well.

The three of you scramble towards the nearest campus exit and resume your daily gossiping. Your phone dings making your heartbeat race. It can be two possible people, either Jimin – who hasn’t contacted you since the impromptu sexy times you had a few days ago or the EAP – the unknown person who knocked the sanity out of you just a few days prior as well; the former you’ve been waiting for and the latter you’ve been dreading. Or it could just be a classmate asking for lecture notes.

You take out your phone from your jeans’ pocket and unlock it, completely blocking out your surroundings and the sound of your friends conversing.

Unknown [ 5:34 PM ]

☺

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. What can this possibly mean? You stare at the phone screen long enough that your vision starts blurring until a hand waves in front of your face. You look up to see Jisoo waving her hand in your direction.

“Eat up,” she tells as she shoves a bag of pretzels in front of you.

You frown and take the packet from her hand and dig in, trying to forget about the mysterious message you received. But in the back of your subconscious mind, you are feeling uneasy. Lucky for you, you won’t have to spend the night alone as your roommate slash classmate Wendy will be home.

“So did your family like Hoseok?” asks Jisoo.

“They didn’t just like him, they loved him!” Wendy has been in a serious relationship with Jung Hoseok for the past year, they met on college campus – him being one-year senior she was completely smitten; hence, they started their romantic escapade which is escalating faster than people had anticipated. “But enough about me, _ _ _ had phone sex with Jimin. Does that mean you’re getting back together?”

You steal a glance around you hoping no one apart from you three heard it. Jisoo looks at you in utter disbelief. “Ya! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was nothing really,” you brush it off. “Besides, you were busy with your internship so I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“I wasn’t that busy,” she counters, emphasising the ‘that’ as she looks daggers at you through her lashes. “Seriously though, what do you see Jimin as?”

You sigh and stare at a kid holding a cone of glistening ice cream, slowly on the verge of dripping.

“I honestly don’t know. We did our thing, right? And then I asked him if he’s coming back to Korea or not and he said ‘soon’. I don’t know what I feel about him and why I feel this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I have to say goodbye to him after texting or calling him.” You pause. “I knew I was over him like a month ago, then where the hell are these feelings coming from?”

“Do you still love him?”

“I don’t feel butterflies the way I felt back then but…” Your gulp hard. “but I do want him to be around for some reason, to fill that hole he left in my heart when we parted ways.”

“Looks like you need to get laid.”

“Jisoo!” Wendy gasps. You start laughing making the two of them burst out in chuckles too.

“What? I’m right, ____ needs to be dicked down to forget the dick that keeps her on hold after phone fucking her.” Jisoo shrugs. Wendy snorts and looks away. She is indeed right, you think.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

You step out of the elevator and make your way towards your front door followed by a confused Wendy as she fishes out the apartment keys from her bag. Your spot a parcel sitting idly at your doorstep making you furrow your brows.

“Did you order something Wen?” you turn to look at her. She drops her gaze to the package and reads the address out loud, “it’s addressed to you.”

Puzzled, you pick it up and inspect it closely while Wendy jams in the key and unlocks the apartment door. There’s no sender’s address written. You discard your blazer and search for a knife in the kitchen. Wendy watches you while she takes out vegetables from the fridge to cook dinner. You quickly scramble to the living room with the knife and package in either of your hands, anticipation getting the best of you.

You stab the tape and rip it open. A baby pink coloured cushion is revealed when you open it. Running your fingers on it, you feel the silk fabric warm your skin. You find a piece of paper folded at the bottom as you fumble with the contents in the box, heaps of paper cuttings are scattered inside. You pick it up and unfold it. A short note is printed that says,

♡

Dear ____,

Your skin is the only touch I crave.

Your name is a fraction on my body that I want to engrave.

Your sweet nectar is all I want to taste.

Not a single bit of you I want to waste.

Watching you mound a pillow oh-so ravenously,

All I want to do is make love to you every day mercilessly.

Yours

Edgar Allen Poe.

♡

You freeze, and low-key cringe at the pathetic and cheesy piece of poetry.

“What is it ____?” Wendy probes from the Kitchen.

“Uh-oh nothing,” you stutter. “I mean, uh, I ordered this cushion for my bed.” You pick up the pillow and show it to her.

“Looks boujee, where’d you get it from?”

“Uh there’s this website… I’ll just send you the link.” You lie again. Your phone dings and making alarms ring in your head. You start walking towards your room. “I’m feeling tired Wen, going to take some rest.”

She looks at you with softened eyes, “alright, I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

But she has known you long enough to catch your white lie.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

 K00kies97 : wHAT DO U MEAN BY THAT

You : I said I received a pillow and a disturbing note from this EAP guy. Followed by a text.

K00kies97 : send me the note and text

You : I can’t, it’s embarrassing

K00kies97 : are u seriusly worried about that rn

You : alright

K00kies97 : waiting

You muster up the courage to send him the note and the message that said “Did you like it doll? -EAP”

K00kies97 : what does he mean by watching u mound a pillow

K00kies97 : dudes sick

K00kies97 : 😐

K00kies97 : wAIT

K00kies97 : you

K00kies97 : had $3X with a pillow

Kookies97 : wow

You : that’s not the point.

You : STOP

You : this is why I didn’t want to send it!

K00kies97 : okok

K00kies97 : check if theres hidden cameras or something in the pillow

You : your mind

K00kies97 :

K00kies97 : you can thank me later luv

You : ok luv

You : boy have I missed you XD

K00kies97 : have u

You : did I stutter?

K00kies97 : okok

You : ok so I checked it and no it’s just a simple pillow…

You : looks very expensive though

K00kies97 : 😐

K00kies97 : theres a stalker on the loose and this is what u care about

You : well I’m broke and this is fancy so yeah maybe I do care about it a little

K00kies97 : so if ur stalker asks u out on a date would u date him

You : no I would prefer to live

K00kies97 : really tho would u

You : why are you so interested? are you my stalker?

K00kies97 : wHAT

K00kies97 : NO

You : haha just kidding

You don’t get a reply after that. You like to think that he’s busy. That’s the reasoning you give yourself when he keeps going offline abruptly without any notice or replies. However, it feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, you needed to tell someone about this. You cannot share it with Wendy or Jisoo because they will get unnecessarily worried, would probably end up giving you the talk. And they didn’t even support you communicating with K00kies97 in the first place, so they will probably start an intervention. You don’t want that. But the problem at hand, this Edgar Allen Poe who wants to, god forbid, do wild things to you, is still pending.

How will you get out of this one?

⤚ ✵ ⤙

“Good morning sweetie,” Wendy bemuses. “You woke up quite early?”

“Yeah I have an early class with professor Brown.” You pick up a banana and gently peel it. Wendy studies you while you stride across the room, picking up necessary items for today and shoving it in your bag. “Why are you so early?”

“I have started this workout challenge by Chloe Ting so I thought why not do it first thing in the morning?”

“That’s awesome Wen. Send me the link, we can do it together.”

“Sure,” she fishes out her phone. “Oh, and by the way,” she starts, catching your attention back to her while you munch on a second banana. “I’ll be staying at Hobi’s place tonight so don’t wait for me for dinner… You’ll be okay with that, right?”

“Of course, why’d you ask?” you enquire nervously.

“It’s just… You’ve been acting a bit weird lately.”

Your face drops and you pause for a second to think about the perfect excuse. “No, no it’s just some stress related to studies and the fact that we’re graduating this year.” You lie, fiddling with your bag’s shoulder strap; eyes on the ground. “But you know what? Screw it, we should have a girls’ night out soon.”

“Absolutely!” she widely grins at you. “And ____, I wanted to talk about some- oh no, that’s no. I’m just- My brain isn’t working right now, go now! You’ll be late for class.”

“Alright then, gotta go. Bye Wen.” You wave at her and open the front door of your shared apartment. You stumble across a huge pile of cardboard boxes covered in bubble wrap. Two men carrying more luggage past your flat and into the next door. Must be new neighbours, you think.

Hopefully, they’re nice.

⤚ ✵ ⤙

Sitting in the cafeteria you scratch Jisoo’s arm to catch her attention even as she’s consumed by her smartphone. “I need attention Soosoo.”

“But I won’t give it to you.” She makes a funny face. “Shoo shoo.”

“I’m not a dog.” You poke her again. This time with more intensity.

“Fine then, you’re a stinky skunk.” She smiles. You’re not sure whether it’s because of your childish bickering or her phone.

“Then you’re a… You’re a…” You think hard. “Ah! You’re a Hoatzin!”

“What the fuck is that?” She looks at you blankly.

“It’s a stinky tropical bird found in Amazon and Orinoco Delta in South America. The Stink Bird gets its charming name because of its digestive system. It’s the only bird in the world that lives almost entirely on a diet of leaves. It uses bacterial fermenta-“

“YAH! Did I ask you to be an encyclopaedia?”

“You asked what it was,” you mumble. “So, I answered.”

“When I ask you what’s your name, do you also give me your social security number?”

“No.” She has a point; she always has a point. And she’s always right. If only you could switch bodies with Jisoo for the rest of your life, it would be so pleasant to live.

“Hey, did you see that hot guy next door that moved in today?” Wendy joins in the conversation with a topic of her own.

“What hot guy?” Jisoo asks dryly, her eyes on her phone – typing away.

“A guy moved in next door to our place,” Wendy says cheerfully. “He has got thick thighs and arms, he’s ripped. Thought I’d say hi but by that time he was gone, maybe to pick more stuffs. He was hot.”

“Do I need to remind you about Hoseok?”

“Hmm, Wendy?”

“Well, no man can ever come par with him. He’s the man of mans. He’s my man.”

“Aww, that was so heartfelt,” Jisoo fake sobs. “Now about the hot guy, is he bang-able?”

“Pfft, undeniably.”

Wendy and Jisoo peep at you at the same time, an evil grin plastered on their faces. You know what this means but you pretend to be dumbfounded. You look back at them with a confused look.

Jisoo starts, “look ____, on a normal day I wouldn’t say this but god wants you to be happy. You are being delivered with opportunity on a silver platter. It’s high time you take your shot. Bang that thighland like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Jeez Soo, do you have no filter?” Wendy snorts. “But she’s right. ____, it’s your time to shine on him… Or under him. Whatever you like.”

You cover your face in your hands while you think about your outrageous friends telling you to do outrageous things. If you’re being honest, you don’t hate the idea. In fact, you might as well take a ride on that thighland.

“Hmm, I might take you up on that.”

You replay your conversation with your best friends while returning home. It brings a smile on your face. The lift opens, making you make eye contact with a pair of russet brown eyes. He nervously runs his fingers through his now-ash blonde hair. He beams at you. Your heart skips a beat as you see Park Jimin reared on your flat’s doorframe; waiting just for you.

⌧⌧⌧

[izusun]

Goblin anon here absolutely screeching over feral quirkless Midoriya, it's everything I wanted

I would like to also introduce a brand (my brand) of feral to Midoriya: pyromaniac.

Imagine Midoriya getting through the entrance exam by saving people, but also by bringing makeshift Molotov cocktails and wrecking almost as much shop as Bakugou.

Imagine the battle trials where Bakugou tries to blow up the building because "that's the only way to keep this little shit down" and in response Midoriya dodges and then sets the building on fire.

Imagine the USJ incident, which goes about the same, but his first instinct is to set the Noumu on fire. Yes he does so. He also nearly sets the stadium on fire at the sports festival so much that they had to evacuate sections of the stadium.

Midoriya (say it with me now) sets Stain on fire. When Tsukauchi meets with the murder trio after the Hosu incident, he just sighs and is like "Midoriya, really?" And this is when we learn that Midoriya has a history of coming across random villains and setting them on fire. When Inko arrives to pick him up she's just like "You're grounded."

There's theories about what Midoriya's quirk, everything from increased intelligence to extremely shitty luck to the ability to make anything he touches explodes (due to his inane ability to make a bomb/lighter out of the most insane things). When it comes out that he's quirkless, it just makes everyone even more afraid, as Midoriya can make a bomb out of some LSD and a rubber duck quirkless-

Pyromaniac quirkless Midoriya.

- Goblin anon

GOBLIN ANON IT’S BEEN AGES IM SORRY IM JUST RESPONDING NOW (ive been so bad at responding asks my god i struggle but thank u for ur au dumps, i love loVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!)

IM IN LOVE WITH THIS AU

feral quirkless gremlin midoriya going through shit by setting things on fire is just the way to go im duwldjwksk

i read midoriya with molotov cocktails and i have not stopped simping for and thinking about this midoriya

genuinely swooning at this ver of him

midoriya probably has a collection of lighters and basically does those hand tricks to calm him down or to take his mind off of things

bakugou and midoriya being more familiar with each other in their middle school days compared to canon and bakugou gifting midoriya with personalized all might lighter god that’s adorable

ok but they’re talking about their favourite heroes and bakugou goes, “shocking that you don’t like endeavour.”

and midoriya just shrugs, twisting his hand and fingers to orchestrate the fire’s dance from his lighter, his viridian eyes brighter and says, “his fire feels wrong.” and they leave it at that

midoriya being inspired by bakugou’s explosions and attempting to copy those so bad that bakugou thought midoriya’s trying out for support classes

OK BUT FIGHT WITH SLUDGE VILLAIN?

he yanks out makeshift molotov cocktails from his bag, lights them up and throws them at the bastard. the sludge villain screams and retreats slightly because not only was he facing the fires but also the exploded glass shards. it gave enough time for bakugou to explode the villain and escape enough to allow him to breathe. in the end, all might still defeats the sludge but he misses bakugou and midoriya who escaped. no ofa for firey green bean.

bakugou helping midoriya create more explosions.

“but kacchba i want fire, not explosions!”

“same difference you pyro asshole!”

midoriya learns them anyways and enjoys it.

THE EXAM!!

i have two ways:

one: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed support items and they allowed him and they watched in shock as this little boy explodes the arena worse than the explosion-quirked student. of course he passes and aizawa took him on as his student.

two: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed his support items but the staff did NOT allow him because they’re considered weapons (as if quirks are not genetic weapons but i DIGRESS) and so when the exam starts, he stays at the very back of the other examinees. this was so that when he arrives at the scene, there are already spare parts for him to scavenge so that he can build makeshift explosions (foregoing whatever shit he learned from katsuki because all that’s on his mind right now are molotov cocktails)

so that’s what happens. he scavenges parts and hides inside one of the buildings so that he can focus more on making explosions and be less worried about being attacked. when he was fully geared, he steps out and begins to retaliate.

he works fast as to not waste his time and the makeshift explosions. because of this, others (ahem-aoyama-ahem) had no opportunity to steal his score.

same thing happens: uraraka gets caught and midoriya explodes the zero pointer. this time, however, the robot is utterly destroyed.

aizawa and majima saw midoriya’s performance, adored it, and began fighting for midoriya.

“majima, he’s here for the hero classes.”

“great. now give him to me.”

nezu pretends that he’s not planning on splitting midoriya’s schedule anyways.

BATTLE TRIAL OH MY GOD rip all might i bet you keeled over so bad, you were one second from turning to small might there and then.

all might: ok so one explodey kid to look out for. that’s not bad.

all might, one minute later: this green kid looks familiar…

all might, ten minutes later: what the fuck.

NO BECAUSE bakugou and midoriya being excited to explode things (well, more like midoriya’s excited and bakugou just wants to fight midoriya) and having a blast when fighting each other.

1a’s probably thinking “oh no” followed by “they’re hot” (literally too because yk the building’s on fire.)

MIDORIYA EXPLODING THE NOUMU??? king shit

midoriya saw this monster running to aizawa and he just points a more eloquent looking flame thrower (thank u mei for working with midoriya with that) at this beast and sets it on fire.

it effectively slowed the noumu and gave the others an opportunity to pull aizawa from the hit zone. it also granted all might more freedom when fighting the noumu because it was slowed enough that all might didn’t have to worry about exceeding his time limit.

the fire damaged some of its nerve processes that the scientist and afo had not accounted for. of course this review is returned to them and many of the noumus become fireproof because of this incident.

OK BUT DURING THE SPORTS FEST

midoriya crushing on todoroki because fire.

he was actually very interested in todoroki prior to sports fest but something about todoroki’s fight against sero sparked something more in midoriya. midoriya saw the anger from his ice, now he wants to see the same intensity from his fire.

his spiel of “that’s your power, todoroki” goes differently. todoroki still pulls him aside and trauma dumps on him but this time he goes, without missing a beat, “that fire is a waste on you.”

todoroki full body pauses because that’s not something he’s ever, well, considered to hear after trauma dumping.

“what?” he croaks, confused at the bubbling feeling. it’s a miasma of anger and hurt, but to a scale so unfamiliar.

midoriya shrugs. “fire is unique, more so as an elemental quirk. you think it doesn’t make half of you—well, i mean you’re right. it doesn’t. you make it. you control it. fire is often uncontrollable and yet here you are, having it as your power. it’s yours to control, so control it. use it.”

todoroki’s ears are ringing.

“you have it as your power.”

“so control it.”

and so he did.

midoriya watched todoki’s fire; watched the way the flames lick up up up and leaves no air bathed in heat. midoriya sees the rawness of anger and determination and thinks, “this is how fire should always look like.”

unconsciously he also thinks how todoroki’s fire is far more beautiful than endeavour’s.

midoriya loses and he’s not as sad about it. losing to something sentient (fire, not todoroki), for him, is a blessing.

todoroki advances along with bakugou.

bakugou who is jealous of todoroki because he saw how midoriya eyed todoroki’s fire and knew todoroki’s a competition in other more ways.

bakugou wins again, this time less angry because todoroki used his fire against him.

STAIN THINKING MIDORIYA’S JUST THIS WEIRD HERO STUDENT WHO HAS NO SPECIFIC QUIRK UNTIL HE FEELS FLAME KISS HIS SKIN AND SCREAMS BECAUSE DAMN IT GREEN EYED KID JUST SET HIM ON FIRE

todoroki full on pausing because he thought he’s the one who set stain on fire unconsciously only to follow the fire’s trail and sees it’s from one of midoriya’s many support items.

“shoot i didn’t mean to burn him that fast!”

“that’s your issue!?”

midoriya gives them a “duh?” look and todoroki feels himself warming up (HAH another fire pun) at midoriya’s ease.

flying noumi still comes and picks him up but midoriya also sets this thing on fire. the difference between a winged noumu and a normal noumu is that the wings are far more flammable and midoriya had quite a bit of fun at setting it on fire and hearing the crackling of flames on rubbery wings.

endeavour casts him a glance that speaks of approval and midoriya doesn’t know if he hates it or not.

tsukauchi arrives and sees not only stain, but the noumu and heaves up a very big sigh. “midoriya, really?”

GOBLIN! PYROMANIAC QUIRKLESS MIDORIYA IZUKU IS A FAVE IM SCREAMING

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3