#i know that it’s a thing and that it def CAN manifest in jewish ways too

[morgenlich]

the main thing that does keep me hesitant about whether or not i have ocd is that, while i absolutely have obsessions, and they are frequent and distressing enough they significantly impact my qol and make me genuinely suicidal, i have never really had compulsions. i know there’s like a thing where you can be diagnosed w ocd when you only have the obsessions, but ehhh it at least makes me wonder how likely i am to find a therapist who will take me seriously about it

[jq37]

Ok, I'm a little horrified that Kristens neglect killed Yes!. That's a downer. And I guess poor Cassandra needs more than two worshippers to exist properly. Hopefully, crisis mode will help Kristen focus up and be NICER TO THEM. It's possible Kristen's crap attitude might be insecurity or guilt. She hasn't been doing the best job spreading Cassandra's gospel and just feels like she's failing them so she's lashing out. And Gorgug and Zelda breaking up bummed me out.

I think D&D is an…interesting but flawed avenue to look at religious trauma. In the same way that X-Men for instance can be used to make some interesting and engaging points about real life prejudice but the metaphor is imperfect because civillians in the marvel universe kinda have a point to be scared of the fact that a random teen with bad self regulation could suddenly manifest the power to blow up people he doesn't like with his mind (even if he doesn't mean to) whereas, irl, Black people or Jewish people or gay people are just people and if you're scared of them then that's a you problem.

Similarly, the religious trauma metaphor goes a little weird in a world where your god is just a person who 100% exists and gives you concrete superpowers every day. I've always felt this way about Kristen's various arcs and it's especially noticible to me right now because I get where she is on her arc, but it hits different when what she's running from is a girl who is emotionally her age and who counts on her for her existence rather than like…the IRL Catholic Church, you know?

She's being very callous in a way that feels very harsh, even though I know she def needs to go to therapy and there probably hasn't been a lot of time for that. And the fact that Cass looks just like her from a year ago really makes it seem like there's some internal, self-hatred or something she needs to work out. Likely some guilt there too--maybe from doing a bad job or for wanting to quit the religion thing alltogether or something else or a combination.

Because of the snippets of interviews I saw, I'm trusting that Brennan and Ally have a plan here, and I see how this could be the setup for something interesting. But yeah, I don't really find it fun to watch Cass get treated so poorly.

And yeah, RIP to Zelda/Gorgug but that's pretty typical for a high school relationship and at least that seems to have ended on good terms.