#i know shes worked in theatre for years but how the actual fuck did she get that in like 2 seconds

[ima-ghost-art]

Okay so my great aunt and her husband work on the West End (Lighting & Lead stage hand respectively) and they had come from London down to visit family last week

No joke HOW while me and my cousin were comparing art tips and I was showing them how I draw hands, did my aunt look at an (extreme close up) of one of my drawings and imitately deduced it was Cats fanart???????

LIKE HOW?????? SURE THE ARM WARMER COULD BE A BIT OF A GIVE AWAY BUT STILL???????

[darcytaylor]

Are people mad that Luke Newton has a girlfriend? Or is it something more? A deep dive. Part 1 of 3.

I want to start out by saying, I have been following the Bridgerton train since the season one release on Christmas day. It was a show that I knew nothing about and I became enamoured.

I have followed along with the show and the actors since the release. I find looking at human behaviour fascinating, as I work in a very customer service based industry. It is so interesting to me to see how the actors have conducted themselves, especially Luke Newton.

This post will be about why I think people are truly upset by his behaviour.

(some of which I agree with and some I don't)

Luke Newton has been quite the monogamous dater. He dated his fellow co-star from The Lodge, Sophie Simnett. They were both very young at the time, it seemed like a sweet relationship, but young love normally never lasts.

Then he got into a relationship with Jade Davies. She is very active in the Theatre world and it seemed like this was a very good pairing. I think they complimented each other well. You could tell they loved each other. Ultimately they broke up at the beginning of 2023, because they 'grew apart', or so the tabloids have stated.

I do know that Jade did receive some hate (which is fairly common in the industry that Luke is in). I personally don't think that it was as bad as people made it out to be. A lot of people loved seeing Luke in love and proud of his girlfriend. They supported them as a couple. They supported it because there really wasn't anything to not support.

After the breakup is where Luke Newton went off the rails (in my opinion). He decided to become the typical fuck boy and didn't keep it secret. But he was just getting out of a long term relationship, it's not an abnormal things to do.

This is where he made his first mistake - he made his dating life public and it definitely looked questionable. (and yes he made it public by following certain people and posting about all of his vacations). He had a 'type' going into this time in his life (young dancers). But ultimately fans were forgiving because he just got out of a long term relationship. He was hurting and it's okay to spiral a little at a time like that. Fans supported him because they wanted him to have a 'hot boy summer'.

At some point he meets his confirmed/unconfirmed girlfriend Antonia. She seems to get a long with his close friends and people took notice of them spending time together. But I think fans thought he was still spiralling, so he wouldn't actually get into a relationship, he was only having fun.

Then the New Years kiss video was released. Fans did not like this. But ultimately I don't think that was what caused the biggest issue, I think his second mistake was befriending her on Instagram. This is what sealed them as an unconfirmed relationship. Had they decided to not make this decision, I think people could/would have left them/her be. It could have been summed up with 'it was just a New Years' kiss.

I think it's possible that Luke had the intention to make this relationship public. I think that could have been his goal that day. But because of the press tour coming up, he was told not to (maybe). I also think that made Luke spiral even more, he was upset that he couldn't show off his girlfriend (and when you like or love someone you do want to do that) and decided to take some of his issues out on his career and fans (by liking everyone of her photos, letting her post photos with his clothing, letting her post photos with his arms and legs). (I want to add that he should have the right to do that, but in the world of celebrities, they have to do things like this with care or it will backfire).

His third mistake was mentioning that he was the most like his character on Bridgerton (he has said this multiple times) and his cast-mates also say the same thing. Hear me out on this one -

It can be easy to separate the art from the artist. That is simple enough for people to do (I have seen it happen on many occasions). But there were multiple times that he would say he is the most like his character (saying this made the task of separating difficult) - and lets be real Colin was made for the female gaze. He is charming, attractive, loving and isn't superficial. He fell in love with the 'outcast', the one that isn't the 'typical' beauty. Fans held onto this, because Colin as a character made them feel seen. They couldn't separate Luke from Colin because he kept saying he was like Colin.

When they look at Antonia they don't see the outcast, they don't see the girl that looks like them, they don't see a 'regular' woman. She is the opposite of who Colin would end up with, so that would mean that Luke wouldn't go for her. Antonia looks like the girl who made fun of you in high school, the girl who on the outside looks like she hasn't had a trouble in her life, a girl who's social media is all about vacationing and looks staged, she doesn't seem real.

(I want to note that I have no idea who she is as a person, she could be the nicest person).

So now that Luke has made a bunch of people mad they will go on a deep dive. The first thing that people will look into is the age. And she is quite young. Too young in fact. I am on the side that someone his age shouldn't be dating someone who's brain isn't fully developed (this is a scientific fact), ESPECIALLY since there is also a power dynamic. (It's okay if you do not feel the same way).

Luke's fourth mistake was letting his friends post things about himself on social media. Yes, I know that you can't control everybody in your life. But they are his BEST FRIENDS, Luke could have asked them to not post anything about himself. That would have been the smart more.

Luke's fifth mistake was not having Nicola and the Bridgerton Instagram posts with notifications on. He should have liked every single god damn post that they posted. This would have appeased the fans, the fans love that shit. But instead he would like every single one of Antonia's photos and forget about his job. This decision further bothered fans because he stated that he was moving his social media to be work related. I will be honest - his social media is kinda a mess. His social media presence is definitely a mistake he has made.

He goes on the Bridgerton press tour with Nicola (who is amazing at her job), and all of the imperfections of his life are even more exaggerated, because Nicola is fucking great. Even though Luke and Nicola are a pair when it comes to Bridgerton, people will still compare them.

When looking at this whole situation I think that Luke is continuing to spiral. I think that he can be a bit stubborn and he is doubling down. He has to know the mistakes he has made. He has to realize that he could have dated Antonia and not made it a whole situation/scene. If a celebrity doesn't want you to know something about their personal lives, you won't know.

Final thoughts - I think that Luke didn't think about how some of his actions would/could have been perceived, I think he was ill prepared in some of his actions, I think that he is still learning to be in the spotlight, I think he is somewhat immature, I think that he is being destructive to his career.

I'm convinced Luke wanted to come forward with his relationship months ago. I believe he was told not to and he didn't like that answer. He has shown some spite because of it. There are also other mistakes that I didn't get into, if you want a part 2 let me know? haha

Have I lost some respect for Luke during the past year? Yes.

Do I realize that it must be hard to be in the spotlight? Yes.

Do I think that if Luke continues on this destructive path he will regret it? Yes.

Should we also give him a bit of grace? Yes.

Do I think he is talented? Yes.

Do I think this will ultimately effect him? No.

If you have gotten this far, congratulations and thank you for reading! It's been a fascinating deep dive!

[fruity-fruition]

I have this really stupid Ruikasa adopted child AU where it's all completely batshit chaotic.

You think Rui and Tsukasa are already dating here? NO. They just live together. You know how you adopt a stray cat and dog suddenly without planning sometimes? Exact opposite here.

Tsukasa and Rui are working with a theatre troupe that's funding a charity towards a foster care system. They flew out to the area of the production, but the head of the whole thing is actually a couple cities away, so they go and drive out to the place to make sure it's actually decent.

They talk to the higher ups, who thank them for their time, then talk to the caretakers about the project. Of course they want to make sure the fundraising is actually going to go to a good source. During all the discussions, they ended up speaking to some of the children there and just in general, have a good time.

But eventually they drive back. A couple hours out, and they're both hungry and tired. So they pull up at a drive-through to at least get something to eat when they get home. Tsukasa turns to Rui, asking "hey, what do you want?" But to BOTH of their horror, a child pops out the back trunk, asking if she could order as well.

Rui nearly flings himself out the car window and Tsukasa's scream was nearly enough to shatter it.

Turns out, this child had ran away from the foster system into the car with them because she didn't like it there (understandable). Both Tsukasa and Rui are horrified, because fuck, dude?? What are they going to do with an 8 year old?? They're already hours out from the place! So they did the most logical thing they could do right then, just drive back to their stay and figure it out there.

Toshiko, age 8, had snuck into the back of the trunk and stayed terrifyingly silent for half a dozen hours before revealing herself.

(This did cause some concern, so they asked if it was terrible there. She just shrugged, and said "not really... I just... Don't like it)

Tsukasa makes calls to the organization, obviously wanting to get this girl back again but this late hour, and all three of their busy schedules, they're not going to be able to drive her out for a while unless someone picks her up.

For plot conveniences, no one can pick her up until about two weeks or so, so now Ruikasa is stuck with an 8 year old in their temporary living space, all three of them have no idea where to go from here

Cue silly bonding moments and Ruikasa figuring out how to parent while trying to convince themselves they're not madly in love with each other, also failing miserably at staying disconnected with Toshiko

Yeah I highly doubt anyone is going to read this but it's something I just wanna drop bc I love imagining my favourite characters parenting bc I want to parent so I self project

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being condescending towards an asexual kid in GSA?

🙃🏳️‍🌈 to find later

Long post so buckle up.

I (17, they/it/he) am one of three co-leaders of my school’s GSA, along with R (18, she/her) and N (17, he/him). All three of us are openly bi, and I’m also openly trans and (most importantly) very loudly aromantic. We’re all in 12th grade now but we were leaders last year (in 11th grade) too. The school/GSA is small enough that all four grades (9–12, so around 13–18 years old) are in the same GSA, there’s no separate upper grade and lower grade groups. We also have two advisors, both cis queer teachers; and some younger queer faculty members also join sometimes for formal events. We take turns running events during club time, such as fun crafts or watching music videos. Sometimes we also do educational stuff or documentaries, including having teachers come in to facilitate discussions.

I’ve been planning (since early December) to run a two part series of discussions about asexuality and aromanticism (separate discussions of each). I really just wanted to do one day about aromanticism, but R said that if I did that, people would derail it and just talk about asexuality anyways, which both N and our advisors also agreed made sense. So, it’s two days, and the asexuality one is first so that the aromanticism one can be closer to Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (ASAW).

There’s a girl in GSA, let’s call her A (16, she/her), who’s in 11th grade. She’s very socially awkward and if someone points out that she’s accidentally said something rude or offensive she’ll make a big deal out of not knowing and generally derail the conversation. Also, two years ago A made a ton of “jokes” about me and my little sibling (16MtF) being “secretly dating.” When I asked her (politely at first) to stop, she said she was just joking around, and kept doing it. I asked her again and also asked the theatre teacher and school counselor for help, and eventually she did stop. But A kept following me around and trying to be friends with me, and I was super uncomfortable to the point that I asked the school counselor to facilitate a conversation between A and I so that I could ask her to fucking stop. It somewhat worked. Now she still keeps trying to start conversations with me in the hallways and such, but I just brush her off or ignore her.

The one place I can’t do that is during GSA. Since I’m a leader, I have to be civil to everyone and actually talk to people (R, N, and I set norms at the start of the year during our planning meetings). A is asexual but not aromantic, and today she showed up like 5 minutes into lunch (cafeteria lines are annoying) and loudly asked if she was late. We weren’t doing anything in GSA today, just chilling. At some point during the meeting I announced casually that next week we’d be discussing asexuality, and then the week after that we’d talk about aromanticism, which leads nicely into ASAW during February break. When I said this, A immediately said that she would be extra ace that week [during ASAW]. I was like, “during aromantic spectrum awareness week?!?!” in the same tone of that “during pride month?!?!” meme. She looked like someone had just given her an F on the most important test of the year and said she hadn’t known.

I also made a comment about how there’s way more openly aspec people at our school than at most schools, and N said that maybe the presence of role models is part of that (clear subtext: he was referring to me). I said pretty loudly (more people could hear) that it was kinda funny that I’m the “ace role model” when I’m literally not asexual. A looked super lost and confused at this, and I think she might’ve thought I was ace, even though I’m super open about not being ace, and have told her directly more than once.

Here’s where the potential assholery comes into play. There’s an ad for PrEP that was fairly common on the back covers of theatre playbills in the past year. The ad shows a Black man dressed in ripped leggings with fishnets, shiny knee-length heeled leather boots, and some sort of white leather harness, doing a bridge pose with one leg extended upwards so that the “r” in PrEP is resting on the sole of the boot. The ad has a bright red background and text that says “you cast of PrEP options is changing” along with a small QR code and website link. The pose is somewhat provocative, but not out of place on a playbill for an all-ages show.

During GSA, A was saying that she thought the ad was bad, because of the leather being “fetish gear” and “weird” (basically the same arguments people use to say that gay people shouldn’t be allowed in public). I told A that there’s nothing wrong with someone wearing leather, and she said that “it’s fetish gear and that’s disgusting and degenerate and just bad advertising!”

I explained calmly, like I would to a child (although I probably wouldn’t talk about this topic with a child), that PrEP is a medicine that people take if they anticipate having sex with someone who’s HIV-positive, so it’s okay that the ad is somewhat suggestive. She seemed to accept that, but still said that the leather was weird, and the ad should’ve shown “a diverse group of people getting pills at a pharmacy” instead, because “fetish gear” was too much.

I asked if she thought that all leather clothing was inherently fetishistic, to which A said yes, and then I asked, “do you know that people can’t just choose fetishes?”

She hadn’t known that, but she still said the ad was too sexual. I pointed out that it was a fairly well-targeted advertisement, using theatre references, but maybe A was not part of the target demographic. I also said that sometimes outfits are just hot without there needing to be any fetishes involved, which she didn’t refute, and that even if it was a fetish, that wouldn’t make it inherently “bad” or “degenerate” at all.

A said that she still didn’t like it, and I told her that she was entitled to have whatever feelings she wanted to have, but that doesn’t mean the advertisement itself is a problem.

Another person (17, he/him) called out “[OP], what do you think about kink at pride?” in a sort of nonchalant way, so I walked over while saying “i’m pro–kink at pride.” The conversation eventually moved in other directions, and then club ended and we had to go to our next classes.

TL;DR: given my position of power and responsibility as a GSA leader, AITA for being kinda condescending towards an ace person who’s 2 years younger than me because she was being very sex-negative about an ad for PrEP?

What are these acronyms?

[diagnosedpsychosis]

I want you

Description: Aaron goes undercover and gets touchy with the unsub and you start overthinking.

Word Count: 3.4k

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You were beyond embarrassed, you were mortified as you watched Aaron's hands latch onto the waist of the blonde at the bar. Your face burned, heart racing a thousand miles an hour as you tried to calm your breathing.

You felt so stupid, so fucking stupid that you wanted to leave mid-case. You wanted to stand up from the seat you were in across from Derek, walk out the club, get the next taxi to the airport and go home. Then when you got home, you wanted to lock yourself inside your home, get in bed, and never leave.

Just two nights ago, Aaron had asked you if you wanted to get a drink with him, and stupid you thought it was his way of asking you out, so of course you said yes. You talked, laughed, and tried to ignore the way his eyes would glance between yours and the bar every now and again.

It was now that you realised Aaron hadn't asked you out on a date, he had his suspicions about a woman working in the bar, and invited you out so that you'd be seen together and catch her interest. He never wanted you there for himself, it was so that he could go undercover as a man unfaithful to his partner tonight, in hopes of catching her.

And he did, he had her in the literal palm of his hand.

"He should've gone into theatre. Look at that smirk" Derek chuckled across from you, bringing his drink up to his lips as he also watched the way Aaron touched the unsub and the way it almost looked like he enjoyed her touching him.

You plastered a smile on your face, despite the fact you were struggling to breathe, your chest so heavy you struggled to sit up straight and not slouch. What you didn't realise was how well Derek knew you, and how much attention he actually paid you. He knew about your years long crush, and he could tell, by the wavering smile on your face right now, just how upset you actually were.

Aaron didn't mean to trick you, in fact he likes you so much it also felt like a date to him. It wasn't real, but it didn't mean he didn't want it to be. Every time you looked, smiled or laughed his way, he had to talk himself out of practically getting down on his knees before you and begging you to go out with him. You were younger than him, not by much, but the fact he felt like you still had so many years left to experiment and be the beautiful, young single woman you were, stopped him from asking you for anything, and everything he wanted.

You didn't want to date around though, and if he'd been along to any of the lunch and dinner dates you and the girls had, he'd know you were ready to just settle down and relax. You wanted him, and he wanted you, but you were both too blind to see how badly you craved each other.

The unsub perched herself on Aaron's thigh and leant forward, and with a sharp inhale you looked away, knowing you wouldn't be able to stomach watching them kiss. Because you'd looked away, you missed the way Aaron's eyes briefly flicked over to you whilst the unsub had her eyes closed, before she pressed her lips flush against his.

Derek subtly glanced at you, taking in your frown as you stared off in the other direction. You were watching the exit, wanting Aaron to hurry up and get his part over with so you could go home.

"Earth to beauty" You snapped out of your thoughts as Derek leant across the table and squeezed your hand, getting your attention.

"They're on the move" You frowned, glancing over to where Aaron and the unsub had been, finding their spot empty before catching the woman's blonde head of hair leading Aaron towards the more hidden, back exit. In unison, you and Derek, as well as Spencer and Emily who'd been seated at another table got up and headed for the back door. You were the last to walk out the door, and immediately stopped, lowering your gun by your side as you found the unsub pinned face front into the brick wall, Aaron hand cuffing her whilst sporting a bloody looking split lip.

The little alleyway the back door lead to quickly filled with red and blue lights as police surrounded the area, the unsub being taken into custody rather quickly. JJ and Rossi stepped out of one of the bureau suburban's and joined the rest of you. You stood slightly to the side of the group, hands in your jean pockets as you stared down the alleyway watching the occasional car drive past.

"Hey" You stiffened, turning and looking up at Aaron who'd made his way over to you. He was standing too close, close enough for you to see the smudged lip stick on his neck. Wrapping your arms around yourself you offered him the best fake smile you could muster up which turned into a tight lipped smile.

You didn't know what to say. You felt like you had a million thoughts running wild in your mind, but you couldn't pin point and understand a single one of them. So you stood and waited for Aaron to say something. He didn't know why but he felt obligated to apologise to you and make up for kissing the unsub. He didn't like it, and it didn't last long, but he felt the need to explain himself to you, even if you were at the moment just work colleagues and friends.

He felt like you needed to know.

"I-" He was quickly cut off by the chief walking by. He stopped beside you and held out his hand to Aaron.

"I just wanted to thank you and your team for everything you've done for this city. She'd still be running around if it wasn't for you guys" Chief Lang smiled, shaking Aaron's hand before turning to you.

"Don't hesitate to call us if things go south again" Aaron told him, watching as you both shook hands.

"Trust me, I won't" Lang laughed, nodding at you and Aaron before turning and heading back towards his car. Your eyes met Aaron's, and not wanting to talk to him or feel the tension right now you quickly turned back around and called out to the Chief.

"Hey Lang, are you heading back to the station?"

"Yeah, why? You want a lift?" He asked opening the drivers door and looking back toward you.

"If that's alright?" You smiled. He scoffed.

"Of course, come on" You glanced back at Aaron, eyes zoning in on his busted lip as he watched you back away, his usual frown deepening.

"You should get some ice from the bar" You told him before quickly turning and walking over to the Chief's car. Aaron silently watched you get in and the car drive away. And while Aaron watched you, Derek watched him, slightly shaking his head.

You quickly packed and grabbed your things before getting a officer to take you to the jet. Everyone else slowly made their way back to the station, and your absence was immediately noticed.

The officer that took you realised everyone was glancing around, trying to find you and quickly stood up to inform them.

"Agent Y/l/n is on the jet" Aaron frowned.

"Already?" He asked, the officer nodding again before laughing.

"She said Doctor Reid always gets the couch and wanted to beat him to it" The office replied.

"Dammit" Spencer muttered under his breath. Everyone was quick to gather their things and head to the jet. The first thing anyone noticed was a pile of hair sticking out from a blanket on the couch. Derek snorted, leaning down and kissing your head as he passed to put his bag in the back before taking one of the seats across from you. By the time the jet was in the air everyone had started to doze off except for two, you and Aaron.

He was too busy staring at you, and you were too busy pretending to be asleep so you didn't have to interact with him. He knew something was wrong with you and he hated that if he trusted his gut, it'd be about him. You hated knowing you really had no reason to be angry or upset at him. What he did was smart, taking you to the club a couple days ago, but it hurt your feelings none the less.

The jet landed, and you latched onto Derek, not wanting to be in the same car as Aaron, but definitely not wanting to accidentally get stuck seated next to him. You ended up in the same car, but Aaron sat front seat whilst you and Derek took the middle row.

The ride back to Quantico was silent, except for yours and Derek's occasional whispers and giggles, which seemed to irk Aaron more today than they ever have before. Usually, you went out of your way to talk to him, but today you went out of your way to avoid him and it seemed to him like you were letting Derek use up all his time with you, time that was Aaron's.

He knew there was and would never be anything between Derek and you, but as the former's mouth brushed your ear, Aaron found himself becoming more frustrated, wondering if 'never' was an appropriate word to use for you two.

You all got back to the bureau, falling into quiet chatter as you rode the elevator up to the sixth floor, too tired to be enthusiastic about finally being home. The elevator doors opened and there stood a smiling Penelope, holding a container of baked cookies. Penelope was a refreshing sight after a long, hard week and you all let her know with the tired smiles and relieved sighs.

Parting, everyone grabbed the things they needed from their desks or other resources, and started making their way out of the building. Usually you would stay back late and get a head start on case files, but knowing the only other person who'd stay back was Aaron, you quickly packed your things, not wanting to be on the same floor as him if others weren't around.

"Night everyone" You rushed, grabbing your keys and a book from your desk before already turning around, making your way out of the bullpen. You were the first out and everybody noticed, knowing it was so unlike you to be the first gone. Aaron hadn't even stepped up to his office yet. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, head turned over his shoulder, a heavy frown on his brow as he watched you race out.

The door closed behind you, and everybody waited until you were in the elevator to comment.

"Is y/n alright?" Spencer asked, his slightly worried gaze jumping between all of his friends, waiting for whoever knew what was up to say something.

"I'm sure she's just tired. This case was a long one" Emily tried to ease Spencer and it seemed to slightly do the trick. JJ nodded in agreement before both girls bid everyone a goodbye and left, meeting Penelope at the elevator.

Derek couldn't help but drag his gaze over to Aaron. It was Aaron's fault y/n was acting like a robot and he didn't even know it. Aaron's mind wasn't eased like Spencer's at the words of Emily, not even a tiny bit. And ever so slowly he turned his head in the direction of the burning gaze he felt in the side of his skull. His eyes met Derek's and both frowns deepened.

"Morgan" Was all Aaron needed to say to make Derek follow him up to his office. He closed the door and turned to Aaron who was standing behind his desk, looking over the things on his desk. He needed to get some work done tonight, but there was nothing he wanted to do more than follow in your footsteps and leave.

"What's wrong with her?" It was pretty obvious 'her' was you, the authoritative tone behind Aaron's question making him huff a breath of air out as he lightly shook his head.

"Take a wild guess" Aaron's frown deepened as he looked up at Derek through his eyebrows.

"I wouldn't have called you in here if I knew" He replied bluntly, looking back down, trying not to seem too desperate for an answer, but Derek's response immediately brought him away from work again.

"It's not really my place-"

"Derek, I can't help her if I don't know what's up" Aaron cut him off. Both men held each others eyes in a staring contest, but quickly Derek sighed, looking away.

"She's embarrassed and upset" Aaron's frown somehow hardened as he lightly shook his head, not understanding why.

"About what?"

"She realised you were using her to catch the unsub's attention. She actually thought you were interested" Aaron remained silent, his chest caving in on him as he thought about how you must be feeling. He knew your silence might have had something to do with the end of the case and the club, but he didn't know it was because you thought he was using you.

"I wasn't using her for the sake of the case" Aaron mumbled, staring off into the distance, thinking about how he was going to convince you otherwise.

"The unsub was working the same bar-"

"I had a hunch, but I invited her out for drinks for purely selfish reasons. It had nothing to do with the case" Aaron interrupted Derek, glancing over at him as he stood, trying to hide a smile. Derek felt like he was playing match maker with two people perfect for each other and it made him feel nothing but pure joy.

"She doesn't know that" Derek stated, matter of factly, Aaron lightly shaking his head.

"No, she doesn't" Aaron agreed softly, grabbing his go bag and his car keys from his desk before moving around and making his way for the exit.

"Close the door behind yourself" Aaron ordered Derek over his shoulder before leaving his office and heading down the steps and through the bullpen. Derek followed, stopping in Aaron's office doorway, a large grin on his face as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Where are you going?" He called out just as Aaron's hand met the glass doors that'd take him out to the elevator. He turned back, a tiny smirk on his face as he threw Derek's words back in his face.

"Take a wild guess."

No matter how hungry you were, nothing could make you eat when you were upset. You knew you had no reason to be upset, and frankly you felt ridiculous and childish for even being slightly annoyed, but you couldn't help it. You thought something was there between you and Aaron, but after tonight's events, it turns out you were wrong.

You were going to allow yourself this weekend to grieve a relationship that never even had a chance, and then on Monday you'd walk into work like nothing happened. You'd go back to normal.

You took out your braid, silently moaning to yourself at the loss of pressure. Your head had been killing all day, and now all you needed was someone to massage your head for you. You pulled your riding up singlet back down before walking out into the lounge of your apartment, halfway to the couch when a heavy knock at the door made you pause.

You just knew it'd be Derek. He'd been messaging you since pretty much the moment you left the bureau, asking if you needed any company for the night. You'd told him no, over and over again but clearly he didn't get the message. You huffed, walking over to your front door.

"Derek, why don't you eve- Oh" You froze, heart skipping a beat as you opened the front door to somebody who definitely wasn't Derek. Feeling all too exposed in a small singlet, pajama shorts and fluffy socks you folded your arms over your chest as you stared up at the soaked man, dripping at your front door. You hadn't even realised it started raining.

"Hotch, is everything alright?" You asked, hoping the heat you felt in your face wasn't showing. Aaron opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out as his gaze dropped down, away from your face and slowly dragged up and down your figure.

"Hotch, it's pouring out there. Shouldn't you be getting-"

"I wasn't using you" He quickly cut you off, your breathing turning heavy as you took a small step back. You flattened your hand out against your heart, frowning as you stared up at him.

"I- did Derek-" Aaron cut you off again, but with actions rather than words. He took a step forward, and you indistinctively took one back into your apartment. Holding eye contact, Aaron slowly stepped inside your apartment, before grabbing the door knob and shutting the two of you inside.

"I didn't ask you out for a drink because I knew the unsub would be at the bar and hoped she'd see us," He took another step toward you, but this time you didn't step back. "I asked you if you wanted to get a drink because I was jealous."

"Jealous? Of what?" It came out of your mouth a little loud, but you were confused. Literally nothing happened for Aaron to even need to feel slightly jealous about.

"Of the way you were laughing along with one of the officers at the station. I thought that by asking you out for a drink, you'd forget about him and remember that I'm right in front of you" Your heart raced a thousand miles an hour. He wanted you to think of him? He wanted you to remember he was there? He wanted you?

"I was never interested in Officer Johnson" You mumbled quietly, playing with your opal pendant on your necklace. Aaron took another slow step forward, eyes focused on your fingers as they toyed with the tiny stone.

"No?" He asked softly, his intense gaze making your hand pause on your chest.

"No" You whispered back, chest heaving at the intensity of the tension filling your apartment. Just moments ago you'd been frozen to the bone, about to turn your heater on and rug up in a blanket. But now... now you felt like you needed to open the windows despite the heavy downpour happening outside. You were boiling, and it was all Aaron's fault.

"That's good to hear" You dared not move as Aaron took his last step, stopping right in front of you. Aaron lifted his hand up to your chest, taking the opal pendant between his fingers, and you froze in place. He slowly dragged it up and down your necklace before looking up, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"Yeah?" You breathed out, aching for Aaron's touch. The eye contact and the absolute admiration in your eyes for him was like a flick of a switch. Aaron had held back from thinking about you for so long, and despite how hard he tried to remain professional you managed to worm your way inside his mind, and his heart without even realising it.

Aaron couldn't hold back any longer. He wasn't strong enough and it didn't faze him one little bit.

"Yeah" He sighed before threading his fingers through your hair and pulling your mouth flush against his. You sucked in a harsh breath through your nose, frozen from the shock of his desperation. But it only lasted a couple seconds before you sank into his hold, without a care in the world that his drenched suit would soak you with him.

If he was drenched, you wanted to be drenched with him.

You quickly became an addiction for Aaron. The way your body perfectly curved and fit against his as he wrapped his long arms around your body, needing you closer. The way your lips moved against his, just as desperately as his, letting you know you were just as crazy for him as he was for you.

The way his heart, while it still raced, slowed to a calmer rhythm. Without you, it hammered so hard he worried it'd fly out of his chest. But with you, it sat snug, knowing it didn't need to go out anywhere and seek you, as you were right there, in front of him, with him.

You were his at last.

[incandesang]

i wrote an (incomplete) list of everything wrong with lestat de lioncourt. take this knowing it is a work in progress.

- mommy issues

- daddy issues

- 18th century aristocrat

- religion hops like trisha paytas (thank u anne. i will not become catholic u will not defeat me)

- french

- was a misogynist until the 20th century

- wanted to be a priest

- theatre kid

- cries to get attention

- won’t shut the fuck up about the fact he killed a whole pack of wolves when he was in his teens. that was 200 years ago please try to accomplish something else cool

- his accent is fake. he just puts on a parisian french accent. he’s from the fucking sticks he did not speak parisian french until he was 19 and then only lived in paris for like 2 years max. his accent is FAKE.

- doesn’t stick to his own morals and then makes excuses abt it

- once ate an old lady and had a crisis so bad that he almost died

- canonically op bc anne wanted him to be her mary sue babygirl

- blond cis man

- SERIOUS self esteem issues that he has to get everyone involved with

- has an existential crisis that nearly kills him at least once a decade

- rock star outfits weren’t slutty enough (thanks ANNE.)

- hasn’t had a sense of identity since 1780!!

- too committed to the bit actually

- absolutely fucking delusional (so i can fuck whoever i want 🤨 of COURSE 🤡 of course. 😤of course. 😨as long as you come home to me 😃 of COURSE 🥲)

- got murdered by a five year old at one point

- sees any hot miserable guy and thinks that’s his soulmate INSTANTLY

- had two glasses of wine on a date and then proceeded to scream cry about the inevitable heat death of the universe

- doesn’t know what a fork is???

- canonically into public humiliation and degradation. u cannot bully lestat at all it will just turn him on

- drank the blood of christ

- went down on his girlfriend on her period (hysterically crying the whole time he did it) while his friends watched (she didn’t orgasm. he was having too much of a crisis to actually give her a good time)

- ate a used pad.

- i JuSt LoVe BeiNg caLLeD A sLuT i DoN’t KnOw whY i JuSt dO

- set louis’ house on fire (all these people do is burn each other’s shit please just talk like adults)

- has no hobbies other than ‘get into dumb trouble’

- dated the world’s first terf

- is, according to the world’s first terf, a culmination of everything that is wrong with men

- described his dick with ‘priapus at a gate’ when he wanted to subtly brag abt how big his dick was. right after being told he was the culmination of everything wrong with men

- was confused when human dicks weren’t always erect (are vampires ALWAYS hard?? if anne wasn’t dead i’d ask her but alas)

[swearyshera]

Thank you!

This may end up being a long, rambly post because I'm a little emotional. But bear with me.

I am so incredibly thankful for all the love you've sent this week, and it humbles me to realise how much this silly little parody blog meant to people. Thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, commenting, asking, going absolutely unhinged in the tags... I read them all, and they've spurred me to keep going through 32 months, over 5000 posts, 40GB of screenshots and the wildest, most brilliant time of my life.

I'd love to thank people individually, but there's so many of you that I would inevitably miss someone out and that seems unfair! But I will say a special thank you to the She-Ra Uncut team, who I'm proud to consider some of the greatest friends I've made through this fandom, and whether we make many wonderful things, or never make anything again, I hope we can consider each other friends for life.

(Sob story time, feel free to skip!) In 2015, I had a huge breakdown. I was off work for 8 months, in hospital for a week, had therapy twice a week for a year... It was fucking awful. And though I got better, I never really felt like I had a reason to, and that I was just treading water until the darkness came back with vengeance. Then, as She-Ra ended, I made some silly posts that ended up as Etheria Nine-Nine, which led me onto what would become Sweary She-Ra. I had no idea how much this would change my life.

The response to this blog led me to write a script for a She-Ra Uncut trailer, and I loved it. I wrote more and developed a love for the craft, that I wanted to continue. It became a joy, and gave me a dream for the first time I could remember. So I kept writing, I kept learning and improving. In September 2022, I was sat in the Lowry theatre in Salford surrounded by the laughter of an audience watching a play that I wrote. That was the most incredible feeling of my life.

And I wouldn't have had that without thinking "Catra should be allowed to say fuck".

So while, it may be over (and it was pointed out to me that Sweary She-Ra ran for longer than the actual show did!), it's hopefully not the end. I'm very keen to make an audio sequel if I can, maybe several, and I'm not going to disappear into the ether. And hey, I don't know what the future will bring.

But there is a future.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you, everyone.

Alice.

(PS - Hi Crew-Ra, if you're reading this as I maybe suspect one or two of you may be. I am sorry but also not sorry, but also hire me when the strikes are over 😁. Thank you for making She-Ra, I love you!)

[veluni]

So apparently Futaba, Mahiru, and Nana are the only ones who haven't done professional theatre work before coming to Seisho... We need to have a fic where the gang marathons each others' embarrassing child acting stints.

Claudine has lost count of how many commercials she did as a kid. She regrets doing this marathon approximately 24 hours later, when her friends won't stop singing commercial jingles in broken French.

Maya: "Oh, Arrie? I have the limited platinum edition with two discs of bonus features, we can watch that"

Claudine: "Please tell me you didn't just spend $50 on a dvd because you found out I was in it."

Maya: "No, I've had it since I was 12 years old. My childhood dream was to marry Arrie :)"

Junna: "wow I did not know it was possible for her face to get that red"

Once they get past the slough of commercials (and Arrie), watching the rest of Claudine and Maya's performances is fun for exactly no one save Claudine and Maya themselves. See, these two have (coincidentally! No, really!) acted in a lot of the same roles, and cannot resist using this rewatch to stoke their rivalry.

The gang is fucking floored to see that Dignified Class President Hoshimi Junna has her face plastered all over a glasses ad (this is canon)

She's not even ashamed. They give her a discount on all nine of the new frames she buys yearly.

(Junna doesn't even need different glasses for reading/distance or anything like that. She just has to make her glasses frame align with The Vibes of the day.)

At long last, Kaoruko is on the recieving end of embarassment. Don't forget, she's actually pretty shy! She would be hiding her face in her hands when her friends start talking about how cute baby Kao is with her teeny little fans.

Hikari puts in her footage. It's an unmarked dvd. The screen blazes to life to show that she was apparently frontlining an idol group, and a not obscure one if the size of the crowd is anything to go by. As the footage continues, the gang is in shock as they realize they've heard this song.

Kaorkuo: "Hikari what the fuck why didn't you tell us you were Stella~⭐!?"

Hikari: "it never came up."

[blood-orange-juice]

I promised a "Furina is Jesus" post. It's kind of a shitpost but also it's not.

The theatre of the courtroom

I'll first have to note that law is a peculiar thing. It is created through practicing it.

It's not just the written rules, it's how we apply them, and who gets to write and rewrite them, and there's no solid foundation underneath.

It's supposed to be treated as immutable until it's suddenly not. Until an insurgence turns into a revolution or the divine right of kings becomes a symbolic relic of the past. In the mildest scenario a bunch of old farts just gather and vote for new rules. Sometimes the very same rules that give those old farts the right to decide rules.

A law remains a law as long as enough people agree to believe and enforce it. How much is "enough" is also debatable (often depends on the size of your army).

It is very much like theatre. Humans like it when the world is molded into coherent stories so they happily participate.

Furina making a show out of trials is not a perversion of law, it shows she understands its very nature.

Transgression and transcendence

Now back to Christianity. The essense of Christianity is transgression. No, seriously.

It's as punk as a religion can get. A god hanging out with publicans and harlots? Killing a god in the most humiliating way possible and being forgiven for it? Symbolically eating a god?

It's insane.

Such practices are usually reserved for small communities of a very special sort (*ahem* left-hand path tantrics*ahem*). It's the only religion I know that gleefully and unashamedly incorporates such things into rituals meant for the lay public.

(this is probably a good time to mention that I'm not Christian and it's a look of an outsider fascinated with philosophy of religion in general)

It's actually one of the real reasons a lot of pagans rejected Christianity so fiercely: it's spectacularly nonchalant in dealing with things that would be considered "unclean" by most archaic cultures.

Now this is important.

As post-structuralist theories state, any attempt to establish a power structure, to set rules or to define self will also produce things that would seem unclean. Impure. Things that should be cast off. It's in the nature of our psyche. The concept of uncleanliness is one of the core mechanisms that allow our mind to function.

(I'll redirect you to Julia Kristeva and the concept she names abjection if you want to dive into it.

I also want to note that abjection and horror go side by side and it makes a lot of sense that Fontaine is also the Lovecraftian expansion)

And what did Christianity do? It subtly removed the importance of "cleanliness". The gravity of it. It established as the norm that norms can be redefined and transcended. That the outcasts and the sinners are not to be forgotten.

It fucking changed the rules of how human psyche and society function. Added an extra possible move.

A sin can be forgiven. A criminal executed in the most ignominious way can turn out to be a god. You never truly know. And also anything can be made clean. Go wash it kitten.

(yay)

(and yes, I know a lot of modern Christians practice the opposite of what I describe. I'm not a fan of these folks too. doesn't matter. the possibility is there. it's glorious. also horrifying and a bit disgusting)

That dude from two thousand years ago

What about him.

I often see people calling a "Jesus figure" anyone who is sacrificed to save others. Or anyone who is reborn. The thing is, this is not how it works.

A god dying and being reborn is the oldest myth on this planet. Last time I checked it was connected to the sun worship, day/night cycle and winter solstice rituals (although it could have changed and also I didn't check very thoroughly). In any way, it predates Christianity by millennia.

Sacrificing all kinds of things and beings to get something in return or to offer gods something else in your stead is also pretty old and very much not Christian.

The unique beauty of that story is that a supreme being, ultimately more worthy than any human, wilfully chose to sacrifice himself for lowly mortals. Actually, allowed them to betray and kill him. And then forgave them.

Do you see how it ties to the previous section? It defied the previoisly established world order (where gods were incomparably more important than humans). It created a paradox. It broke the rules, or rather it destroyed the rules.

Theological debates aside, on a symbolic level it pretty much destroyed the old concept of sin and the idea of a fundamental difference between a god and a human. Everything a paradox touches stops being fully real and needs to be redefined (ceci n'est pas une pipe).

'Sin' doesn't mean the same thing anymore, and 'god' doesn't mean the same thing anymore, even 'death' means a different thing now. The world just starts to function differently after a story like that happens or is told.

(since it only needs to mess up the symbolic order it doesn't even need to happen, only to be told and believed)

And there we have it. A Jesus figure should establish new rules. Preferably better ones. It's someone who fundamentally changes the world with their sacrifice.

That's also where we get back to "law is established by practice". That was the process of establishing a new law.

(this is also why I dislike the idea of Childe as a Jesus figure. he is not a supreme being, he's not the type to sacrifice himself for people he perceives as lower than him, and he is not integrated into society enough for his death to establish new rules. he can still die and be reborn in a new quality, he can even change the world in some way but that would be a different type of story)

Our precious girlfailure

So. Furina.

Fontaine's prophecy speaks of all Fontainians being born with some kind of 'sin'. And the way Neuvilette is talking to the pool of primordial water in 4.1 implies that its ability to dissolve Fontainians is not some kind of natural law but an intentional wrathful act.

And Varunada Lazurite (we know that ascension materials contain the final lines of the archon quest) says this:

"My ideals have no stains. I must correct you. People here bear no sins in the eyes of the gods... Only laws and the Tribunal can judge someone. They can judge even me. So praise my magnificence and purity."

I assume the solution will not be simply killing the eldritch whale or "cleansing" the sin or locking the sea away.

I think Furina will in some way redefine what is considered a sin, or how it should be judged, or who gets to administer judgement. She will create new rules for the world. Probably by dying in some way (temporarily or symbolically) to create a paradox.

(maybe we'll also get to learn that death in Teyvat is not true death)

As I said at the beginning, she understands the law and the very nature of law very well, probably better than Neuvilette. Who else would be better suited for this task.

And no one will notice the beauty and insanity of her gesture, like no one really noticed with that guy two thousand years ago. They'll just think things got fixed because they sacrificed Someone Important.

But that's all right. She'll forgive them.

[amaliabalash]

Legally Blonde at the Oregon Cabaret Theatre

Just got back from seeing the Cabaret's Legally Blonde and so naturally I have to make a text post with every thought and feeling. Bullet pointed stream of consciousness ahead! And I'll be seeing this uh like six more times so I will likely add on to mention other little things I notice and like over time. 😂

This Bruiser was a miniature poodle and very cute.

When Margot is talking to Bruiser, she just held his head and looked into his eyes like she was doing a mind meld and I loved that.

Also, like seven years ago or something, the actress playing Margot played Elle in a youth production of LB that I saw, and it was fun to see her back in the show. She understudies Elle and I hope she goes on one of the times I've there, it'd be a fun full circle thing.

During Blood in the Water, when the students start echoing the phrase, Emmett started and like tried to cue them to do the same? I don't know how to word it lol but it worked for me.

When Elle asks, "who assigns reading on the first day of class?" Emmett across the room starts like reaching out towards her and mouthing "no no no" before grimacing.

Enid throws a beer on Vivienne at the party, which I haven't seen before and was fun as Vivienne runs off stage going "I'm all sticky!"

OG IRELAND LYRICS FTW

During the Christmas part of Chip, Emmett comes in with a reindeer horn headband and I just thought that was very cute.

This Emmett did a lot of like, voices when saying certain lines and it worked for me? I know the actor from many local productions and always enjoy him but he's usually playing character roles, and I enjoyed seeing little bits of that goofiness brought into Emmett.

Major height difference between Elle and Emmett. Most of the time I'm like "yeah height differences are fine" but it made it so if they hugged she's like buried in this chest and yes good I approve.

At the end of Chip right after Elle has her classroom success, Elle and Emmett like lock eyes and walk towards each other and it just felt like a magnetic pull thing until Callahan walks between them, I dug it.

And then when Paulette goes to get Rufus (she goes offstage, because they did not have a dog to play Rufus), again, Elle and Emmett just fucking gaze at each other for a moment before she goes into "is this law?" and I am so here for it.

Holy SHIT Whipped Into Shape. Always impressive to see people hold their own with singing while jump roping, but the first freeze? Forgive the random cheerleader picture for illustration, but the actress playing Brooke held this pose (without the other arm out) for the entire pause on "meet our brand new client Brooke..." through until the hit play again. I've never seen people burst into applause mid-Whipped, but like, you could feel the shock and awe just ripple through the room the longer she held it.

Take It Like a Man: okay first of all they actually put him in a good suit thank the lord, so often it's like "and he looks the same, just in black" but this was a well fitted suit so, A+ costuming, you actually did the job. And Emmett did a clear sort of lean in before Elle hugs him, which isn't anything new, but always great in my book. And when she hugs him, she just buries her face in his chest, I love it.

When Callahan makes the move on Elle, and audience member loudly hissed. 😂

Sadly. There was no Door. However, they DID make it clear that "what about love?" was an aside and not directly to Elle. There was a line change, I don't remember exactly what, so it's not "if you can hear" but something else. But when he's singing about wanting her to stay TO her, she's carrying a bag she's packed and they both reach for the handles and just kind of clasp hands for a moment. ALSO she packs the 2-in-1 shampoo after like hesitating for a moment over it, and that got me right in the heart. Well done.

During the reprise when Elle walks into the supply closet, Vivienne turned to Enid and said "she still hates me, doesn't she?" or something like that and god any little extra bit of Vivienne insight we get I looooove.

After Elle proposes and puts the ring on Emmett's finger, she jumps into his arms and just WRAPS her legs around him, full on star fish cling, I love it. No real end kiss though, which seemed weird? Like they were about to and then went into more singing. I'm not as much bothered by it as confused by the choice but oh well.

Emmett comes out in a hot pink suit for bows.

Okay that's all I got for now. I fucking love Legally Blonde.

[canmom]

dànachd canmom aig worldcon - pàirt 2: Dihaoine

Not a lot to report back here today because today ended up a largely bar-con sort of day - I brought my best friend M. down to the convention. The staff have been incredibly kind, James Bacon especially went really out of his way to let her attend in ways she can feel safe, and I'm really glad. So we met many lovely people of mostly the science fiction writer persuasion, and a number of old friends like Rivers and Roz turned out to be here so I got to catch up with them and introduce them to others, that was pretty sweet. I managed to walk the line of socialising a whole fucking lot mostly without tripping the autism overstimulation meter.

I did briefly get to see some of the Glasgow Philharmonic concert, who were playing a pretty varied collection of themes from science fiction tv/film (naturally opening with Also Sprach Zarathustra followed by a medley of Star Trek themes), Scottish classical music, and game music. Sadly I had to duck out of the concert early, but it all worked out.

One of my favourite things about Worldcon, which a few people remarked on, is the impressive age range of attendees. You really get to feel how long scifi fandom has been a living thing, but equally how it's changing - you've got the old hands with grey beards and the 70-year-old lady who chatted with us about seeing the original Star Trek as it aired, the young zoomers with a 90s-anime range of hair colours, actual kids who are there with their parents, and literally everything along the scale - and it doesn't feel cliquish either, it's just straight up not a scene you age out of. It's cool to meet people I know by work/reputation and just get to chat with them, and just as much people I don't. I wish I'd managed to go to cons more often over the years, but then... there has been a pandemic on.

I also feel like the con deserves a lot of credit for physical accessibility - a good many attendees are using wheelchairs, they provide free scooters, accessible routes are well marked etc etc. Sure, it should be a given, but so many cons screw this up.

Sadly I missed some really cool looking events today, like the interactive theatre game The Dark Room - perhaps I'll get to see that elsewhere. But I have made a great many new friends, caught up with old ones, and all in all it was a good time. Hopefully I'll manage to not sleep in so late and actually catch some more panels tomorrow though lol...

[miracles-and-butterflies]

A little continuation of Heartstopper with Marcmilo because it is just sat in my drafts and getting in the way. I also feel the need to remind people that this AU still exists.

“It worked!”

Marco had barely opened the front door before Camilo had barged his way in, suddenly his arms full of his boyfriend. He stumbled back into the corridor, knocking one or two items off the shelf behind him as he tried bracing himself against the wall for support. Camilo didn’t seem to notice or overly care, soon enough he was bouncing around again with all the excitement of a child on Christmas.

“It worked! It worked! It worked!” He cheered. “Ha! And you thought that my idea was stupid!”

“What? Stealing your sister’s portion at breakfast?”

“Nah, that’s one of my best ideas. I’m a growing boy, I need my food.”

“Stealing your cousin’s makeup again?”

“I mean, it’s not like Bela knows I’m the one who has her eyeshadow palette. I saw her accusing Luisa of stealing it before I left. It was really funny actually—”

“Then what are you talking about?” Marco finally interrupted.

As much as he loved his boyfriend, he would be the first to tell anyone that Camilo was a very, very, very talkative person. Maybe more than anyone else he has ever met. If they continued on like this, it would soon be time for Camilo to get the bus home and it would waste their entire afternoon.

And he would never hear about whatever made his boyfriend so exited. Which means they would probably be doing the same song and dance again when the next week of school started.

“The music room thing, duh!” Camilo explained dramatically. He wandered into the living room and flopped down on the sofa. “Locking Moana and Mirabel in there. I told you, those romcoms know what they’re doing. OMG! We should totally lock ourselves in a room at some point!!”

“You mean like an escape room?” He asked.

“Why not? We should do one together! It could be a double date!” He threw his arms up. “Hell, maybe even a huge group date, if we ask the others!”

Marco just chuckled, settling down beside him. “You’d give up within a minute, Mimi.”

“But I’d enjoy messing around in there, Coconut. And watching my super smart boyfriend solving all the problems in there!”

“Wait, how do you know this worked at all?” Marco questioned, shaking himself from the light-heartened discussion. “Isn’t Mo still on that school trip? And I’m assuming that Mirabel hasn’t told you anything.”

Camilo nodded, “Yep. Scowls at me every meal time. Honestly, what did I do to her?”

“You did lock her in a room,” Marco reminded.

“Yeah, but she got a girlfriend out of it! That’s more than she’s ever done for me. And not just any old girlfriend, our own amazing Mo! I always knew they’d be good together.” He paused, his smug smile dropping from his face. “Fuck! I should have taken Hiro’s bet on it, I could have won so much money! And then I could have bought us those theatre tickets.”

“I’m sure we’ll go to the theatre over the summer.” Marco pulled him into a hug gently.

“It won’t be the same,” Camilo whined.

They say like that for a moment, perfectly content. It was rare for Camilo to be this still and Marco really should have taken advantage and enjoyed this quiet moment, but he couldn’t keep his mind focused. He was still puzzled about the whole music room incident.

“What’s wrong?” Camilo pulled away to look at him better. “Did you forget to do your homework for tomorrow?” He guessed. “It’s okay, I haven’t done homework in years. The teachers can’t do anything about it.”

“No, I have, it’s just… I’m still confused about all this.” He muttered. “I didn’t think it would work.”

Camilo leaned over, batting his eyes, “Aren’t ya proud of me for being right? Aren’t ya impressed?”

“Can you finish explaining? How do you know?” He prompted. Then raised an eyebrow at Camilo. “This isn’t some dream you’ve had that Dolores has convinced you is real, as some form of revenge again, is it?”

“Nope! I have proof, actually!”

Camilo quickly shrugged off his bag and dumped it on the floor. Marco sat, still rather unconvinced, as Camilo fiddled with the zip and pulled it loose, pulling out his phone. Within seconds, he pulled up a photograph he had taken of another phone lying on the Madrigals’ kitchen table.

The photo itself was horribly blurry, but Marco could just about make it out. The phone was turned on to its home screen - one of the standard wallpapers in some bluish colour, displaying the time and date in white text. There was a string of new notification bars popped up, messages from a person named “💝”, planning what sounded an awful lot like a date. And the previous messages seemingly referenced an “incident” that happened on Thursday evening - the same night Camilo had locked Mirabel and Moana in the music room.

He scratched the back of his head, almost in disbelief at what he was seeing, “You sure it’s Mirabel’s phone? I can’t imagine she’d leave it, unattended, somewhere you could get at it.”

“Eh, probably true.” Camilo shrugged, switching his phone off. “But no. I mean, she left it on the table, too busy trying to convince Luisa to not make herself another cup of coffee. I had only snuck in for some coconut milkshake, like the cool kid I am, and saw it buzzing. And when I saw the heart emoji… I just knew. It’s like I have sixth sense—”

“Yeah, don’t start quoting Mean Girls again.”

“Aww, but I’m so good at it!!”

[dukeofriven]

So I haven't watched Spy Kids for probably 20 years? It came out in 2001, I never saw in theatres, but my stepbrother had it on VHS. I remember watching it several times when my step-mum and father first started dating but never after they moved into a house together, which I think cannot have been any later than 2003. The podcast How Did This Get Made just got me to watch 2004's Sleepover staring Spy Kids' Alex Vega, and it had me going 'man, I should rewatch Spy Kids, a film I used to love—hell I should watch all the Spy Kids movies because I've only ever seen the first and Robert Rodriguez is a director whose work I want to dive into' and since its 2023, with a little bit of effort I can easily do that. (Also, I always thought, based on a vague knowledge of their similar poster design, that Spy Kids 3D and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl were the same movie, but apparently not! Also, Sharkboy et al. had a 2021 sequel? That was popular? And is getting its own sequel? Will have to investigate.) Thoughts on the opening ten minutes of my Spy Kids rewatch:

This production logo is so ugly it causes me physical pain. I hate this boy with his Kate Moss arms (Miraculous Ladybug arms, for you youngsters out there), his ugly beanie, and unbearable smirk.

Also, the telecine weave on the production logos is very noticeable, they're bouncing all over the place and it got me idly musing as to when more modern image stabilization techniques simply took that away. Not that we really noticed in 2001 because even with auto-tracking, gate-weave and other playback artifacts were just accepted as a given on your eight hundred pound convex CRT TV with 480 Ps of resolution that output enough radiation to kill grandma with a Jeopardy marathon. Do young people know about VHS tracking, auto or otherwise? Does the above paragraph make any sense to them at all? Do they know the pleasures of laying your hand on a still-warm television screen and having your whole body shiver as the static discharge runs through your unresistant flesh? Kids today with their big pants and their blue-tooth hula-hoops and their fancy PSPs just can't understand.

The opening shot of the movie is so under-exposed (or, more likely, over-exposed and then over-corrected in post) that Rodiguez's 'written and directed' credit is unreadable. You can see its blur to the right of the red 'FILM' there. It's so bad I thought there was something wrong with my copy so I... uh... found a new copy with a larger file size and it turns out that, nope, it actually just looks like that. Even in fancy 1080p this is just a terrible ærial shot. There's some fantastic shots and cuts in this film so to open with such a stinker is bizarre. Was it bad coverage that day, only one good shot in the can, did somebody fuck-up the film in the lab? I am curious.

Carla Gugino is so cute in this movie it's criminal. Not to be a lesbian but oh my god oh my fucking god. 12 year-old me was all about Carmen but adult me just wants 90 straight minutes of Carla Gugino in casualwear wandering around her lovely home smiling coyly. I would buy a BluRay player to own that movie on BluRay. I'd not picked-up that she played the mom on The Haunting of Hill House because she had long styled hair instead of this absolutely flawless textured pixie cut. 10/10, no notes.

I would like to spend an hour talking about the incredible tilework in that bathroom and nothing but the incredible tilework in that bathroom. I will update you if the film has any further shots of the incredible tilework in that bathroom but I fear it does not. As as an aside, kind of furious that this film was not more influential in the field of home decor. Two decades of effing shiplap and cold grey suburban blandness—what if we'd given up on bloated cookie cutter micro-mcmansion shitboxes and instead gone all-in on brightly coloured Andalusian rough plaster and stonework? What if we all had great tilework in our bathrooms, like the kitchen sink in Howl's Moving Castle?

You know what I mean, you depraved tile nerds.

I don't want you to think Antonio Banderas is not also a total smokeshow in this movie. Because boy howdy. He's a goddamn hunk.

There's a four-second long shot of Banderas flicking this ring box along the coping of the Eiffel Tower balustrade, and all I can think of how hard it was to get to get that box to stay in a straight line, how completely frictionless the box must be (did he shellac it?), and if his marriage prospects would have been ruined had it—in all rational likelihood—gone flying off the railing and smashed into the Champs de Mars.

You know you're in for a rollicking good time when the helicopter perfectly slices-off the stone heads of the two statues, but it's the padre giving the benediction while attack choppers go roaring over head that gives you chills.

A particular shout-out to this lovely unnamed bridesmaid on the left here who not only takes 'putting a parachute on the bride' in stride but looks gleeful and fabulous doing it. Where's her movie?

In 2001 we really thought computers were going to be cool and fun instead of machines that sold our personal lives to corporations and gave children crippling anxiety disorders.

Carla Gugino has a track built into the floor so that her vanity-computer chair can slide backwards across the room so she can have face-to-face chats with her husband. From this we learn two things: 1) she does this so often she's automated it for maximum efficiency, and 2) Banderos, in an ordinary desk chair, never attempts (or knows better than to attempt?) the reverse. To be continued?

[solar-halos]

i watched speak no evil w my brother and now i need to talk about it. not to make this about race but something that jumped out to me was that this movie would only work with the whitest fucking family you’ve ever seen. let’s start at the beginning

1) we did get there late so idk what purpose dunking on danish ppl served so let’s just skip to the part where they let their twelve year old daughter ride a scooter with a man they JUST met. if some white middle age man offered to let let me ride saddleback on his motorcycle my parents (or at least my dad) would be like hell to the mf no and then we wouldn’t be allowed near him or his wife or his son ever again

2) speaking of his son that’s another reason why the movie would be over before it started. that’s prob more of an immigrant thing though (or like a machismo thing) bc i don’t think i’ve ever been allowed to play with boys no matter how old we were

3) okay actually my mom would have been a little fooled by that british accent

4) oh my god if we went over to this family’s house and the hosts were like “you’re sleeping in the same room as our son! :)” my parents (probably both of them) would be like hell to the MF NO. and then we’d drive back home and go no contact

5) the lack of backbone killed meee. if for some reason we weren’t gone by then you know what would have done the trick? some unfamiliar man being our fucking babysitter. my dad would be PISSED. my mom would be like “a brown man? girl…”

6) the husband telling everyone to swim in their underwear? girl…

7) i’m kinda forgetting the other details so im officially done dunking on white ppl. no offense to agnes bc she was distressed but feigning her period while she was bleeding in the front was like ..?

8) OH WAIT. back to dunking on white people bc if my parents (even my mom!) found me in some family’s BED holy shit. they would not careee about that lady’s sob story they’d escalate shit so much that the hosts would just kill them right then and there

9) also that stuffed animal agnes had was sweet and i love the lengths her parents went for her but my dad would be like get the fuck OVER it girl. and then if i tried kicking the backseat well. haha. let’s just say thqt wouldn’t end well

10) okay but also if i showed my mom those pics i dont think she’d believe me no matter how weird these people were LOL. like she’d still try to leave but i dont think she’ll be like “omg you’re right!”

11) the cheating beat was what rlly did it for me. like if that were my family the movie would be over before it even started. like i was confused why the wife kept saying her man was angry bc he never even yelled at her and the closest he ever came to lashing out at agnes was trying to get her to stop kicking his seat

12) he rlly was so in love with patrick though i thought there’d be at least one kiss between them

13) why did ppl (read: men) in the theatre start BELLY LAUGHING when patrick kept kissing the wife? gross

14) dude. if we didn’t manage to escape once (even tho we def would have… no way would either my parents drive back for a stuffed toy) my parents defintely would have kept driving even if patrick did push their son (who wasn’t rlly his son… but im gonna keep calling him that bc i don’t remember his name) into the lake. like for me my mindset for scenarios like that is “oh well u don’t rlly know how you’d react until it happens to u” but i know EXACTLY how my mom would have reacted. she would have kept driving

15) i do love the wife though. i feel like they were trying to make her annoying but we all need people like her. the food throwing scene was so upsetting (im a sensitive baby) and the husband not having a backbone drove me crazy. actually the husband was pretty much useless even before he broke his leg

16) i hate that uppity “im not gonna stoop down to their level” mentality. patrick literally said he was gonna take ur 12 yr old child as a child bride and u didn’t end it??

[squaric-acid]

Rewatching PotO (2004) in 2024

~ A needless commentary. Please note that I first watched this movie seven years ago, in 2017. ~

I like the Wizard of Oz thing they do by having the prologue scene in black and white.

Is the Madam Giry in the prologue supposed to be Meg or her mother, it is unclear.

The costumes are decidedly not bad for a piece of historical fiction made in the early 2000’s.

I adore the chaos and attention to detail of the establishing shots of the Opera Populaire during a rehearsal.

All the costumes in this movie are good except for Christine’s during Point of No Return, like what the fuck was that.

I like that Raoul is introduced in person during the rehearsal scene and that Christine gives us some background on their relationship. Her saying they were childhood sweethearts makes the set up of their love story stronger, like they both obviously still harbored feelings for each other during the interim of their childhood and the events of PotO. In the stage production this is less obvious.

Was it really necessary to have the new managers make lecherous comments about Meg and Christine?

Emmy Rossum is very stiff during Think of Me, in contrast to the scene of her dancing just prior where she is very expressive. I’m not sure what to make of this, it’s only an observation. I want her earrings from this scene though.

The Phantom’s lack of a hat makes his head look small and Gerard Butler does not have a small head.

You can tell that the theatre they are in isn’t actually very big.

The dubbing does not sync well to the mouths of the actors.

Meg Giry is adorable.

Christine’s dress during Think of Me looks suspiciously like a wedding dress.

How can you not ship Christine and Raoul in this movie? They’re so cute together.

Not the slow-mo of the candles blowing out.

The arms holding the candelabra are weird, like icky weird, and remind me of the Haunted Mansion.

I do have to admit that Gerard Butler in that cape is really something, he does look good as the Phantom, even without the hat during Phantom of the Opera. I appreciate the electric guitar during that scene too.

It’s not subtle that they used the same archway more than once. And what happens to the horse, where did he go?

Erik’s lair really gives Pirates of the Caribbean ride vibes.

Was the dramatic cape removal necessary?

Why does he just leave her sitting in the boat?

RAMIN KARIMLOO WAS GUSTAVE DAAÉ?!?!!!! And I was supposed to find about this on my own?!?!

Gerard Butler as the Phantom is peak early 2000’s pathetic sad boy.

The dubbing continues to be bad which really impedes the impact of Music of the Night. The blocking isn’t bad though so I’ll focus on that.

Bro, not the mannequin! And the way he sets her in the swan? Hilariously creepy.

The scene of Meg discovering the passage behind the mirror is so interesting to me. What a great piece of character exploration! I wonder how much this version of Meg knows about the Phantom and inner workings of the opera house, surely she isn’t blind to her mother’s association with the Opera Ghost.

Madam Giry demonstrating the use of lasso was a girl boss moment.

How on earth did he not feel Christine prying at the mask?

I wish they would’ve used more drastic makeup and prosthesis for the Phantom’s deformity. Or at least let the camera focus on it for a tiny bit longer. We get basically nothing of it in this scene.

I forgot that they cut back to the black and white of the prologue (a continuation of it).

Just how much is 20,000 francs in 1870 worth today?

Those skull wax seals are cool.

Was the mooning of Carlotta necessary? Funny though

Minnie Driver is hilarious. The Prima Donna scene is fantastic.

Erik doing dastardly deeds in his fancy clothes is iconique.

Where is the musical cue for “Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty?”?! It sounds like an announcement at a train station!

Where on earth was Buquet to have seen the Phantom standing near the chandelier?

Only in the movies does cutting back and forth between the ballet from act three and the Phantom chasing Buquet around the flies really work. It makes the scene much more tense but is also amusing because we seen the Phantom doing stunts in his fancy clothes.

They really wanted to make this into a movie musical but did a poor job of integrating the music into the action of the movie.

I love the set design in this movie if nothing else.

If anything Gerard Butler’s Phantom has the least awful face of any rendition of the Phantom.

I can’t imagine this movie being made today, it would be an auto tune nightmare.

What is it about well-dressed pathetic sad boys of the early 2000’s variety?

You can’t fault Gerard Butler’s acting when he cries into the rose.

I take it back, why was the dramatic run so popular? It looks ridiculous.

I love Christine’s dress for the Masquerade scene. And Raoul looks dashing too.

The silver and gold fan choreography is neat. I also especially appreciate that only Christine and the Phantom are wearing shades of red.

Where are the fics of the Phantom and Madam Giry as children? That’s the story I want to hear.

Raoul sleeping, obviously on guard, outside the ballet dormitories is so endearing.

Showing that the Phantom knocks out the guard and is the one to take Christine to the graveyard closes the plot hole about how he knew she would go there. And it demonstrated just how obsessive he is about her.

I don’t know a lot about how funerary monuments worked in the 1800’s but how could the Daaé’s afford such a mausoleum?

The reprise of Angel of Music was very good. Excellent use of lighting.

The Phantom jumping down from the roof of the mausoleum is rather ruined by the fact his cape flipped over his head and he had to put it right.

The fight scene wasn’t the most coherent but it wasn’t outrageous either. I like the skull shaped guard on the Phantom’s sword.

Erik saying “let it be war upon you both” is undercut by the fact he didn’t say that it would be war between him and the managers earlier.

They cut back to Raoul coming up with his plan to ensnare the Phantom after the scene in the cemetery. I think it’s narratively out of place given the events of the scene of the graveyard. Christine’s lament, Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again, which both about her missing her father and about gathering the courage to bid goodbye to her angel of music. Which Christine felt she had to do because of the plan Raoul came up with.

Christine’s protestations about Raoul’s plan being spoken rather than sung works well in my opinion. But there’s a certain angst to how hysterical Christine sounds in the stage production.

Seriously, the Don Juan costume for Christine sucks.

The reveal in the stage production was better. They mention the hood of cloak in the song, the hood hides the fact that it’s so obviously not Piangi, anyone with eyes would’ve been able to see it wasn’t the same guy.

The background dancers, lol.

All the shots cutting to Madam Giry lowkey make it seem like she was secretly in love with the Phantom.

They could’ve made Point of No Return more tense.

Why does the Phantom’s wig look so bad before Christine pulls off his mask?

Now his disfigurement actually looks appropriate.

Madam Giry literally brought him to the opera house and he went willingly, the Phantom calling it a prison isn’t super accurate.

Erik has too much hair in this version. But props to Gerard Butler for killing it in the final scene in the Phantom’s Lair.

I like the detail that the cut on Raoul’s arm starts bleeding again due to all the action. It looks weirdly real though so maybe it was unintentional. I have not seen any behind the scenes footage to confirm this.

Why is Meg at the forefront of the mob? Why was she so interested in the mask? Is it supposed to be a hint about Love Never Dies? There is too much focus on Meg and Madam Giry’s involvement with the Phantom to just be as it is explained.

I adore the implication of the rose at Christine’s grave. Perhaps the most emotionally impactful moment in the whole movie.

7/10

Love the costumes and the aesthetics. The final scene at Christine’s grave was a very nice extra bit. Not as good as the stage production but enjoyable. The acting seemed a bit stiff and underwhelming but lots of movies from the early 2000’s were. I prefer the 25th anniversary performance but who doesn’t?

I can’t speak to how it compares to the book because I haven’t read it (I will sometime)

[themuse-if]

Another 20 (or so) Questions with Maxine Matthews

Interviewer: Welcome to another installment of our character interviews, where we dive deep into the lives and minds of our favorite cast members of The Muse. Today, we have Maxine Matthews with us, an aspiring dramatic writer who creates new worlds through her imaginative point of view. Max, thank you for joining us. Could you start by telling us what made you want to pursue dramatic writing?

Maxine: I've always been drawn to storytelling, whether through film, TV, or theater. Writing allows me to create worlds and characters that resonate with people, and I love the idea of evoking emotions and sparking thoughts through my work.

Interviewer: Could you describe your writing style in more detail?

Maxine: My writing is a reflection of my observations and insights into human nature. I can't say that I have a specific genre that I prefer because I want to try and be really well rounded as a writer, I still have a lot to learn after all. I do have a genre that I'm interested in exploring though. You know films like Labyrinth, The Never Ending Story, and Legend, 80's dark fantasy. I actually really enjoy those but I feel like they could be done even better with more diverse casts, better graphics, and more complex storylines. Honestly I think it's something that a lot of people would enjoy seeing in theatres again.

Interviewer: Interesting, isn't that a little niche? How do you think your work will be received by others? Better yet how do you want your work to be received?

Maxine: Personally I like the dark ethereal nature of those films, but I feel like now we could take them several steps forward. I think people would appreciate that same energy with richer plot and visuals. I think that audiences today are actually craving a more dynamic hero's journey.

Interviewer: And what about you? How do want people to see you outside of your work?

Maxine: I'm not really sure. Honestly I don't really care how people see me unless it's someone who's actually important to me. In general I would hope that people just see me as honest and unwavering, but besides that I can't say I really care.

Interviewer: I've been asking everyone else to describe their ideal best friend, but I think I want to switch it up for you. Could you instead describe how you feel about your best friend, MC?

Maxine: *immediately shifts her gaze away* I mean they're my best friend so I really care about them. They're like family you know...but not...actually family...thank god. Uh yeah honestly I just feel most like myself when we're together. We've been friends our whole lives and I can't imagine not having them around. I'm not really sure that I could have this kind of connection with anyone else.

Interviewer: Hmm, sounds like you feel very deeply towards MC. Would you say that you want a similar connection with your ideal partner.

Maxine: *shifts nervously* Probably...right? I mean obviously I want to have that really deep meaningful connection with someone...romantically. It would be nice if they were at least half as attractive as MC too.*covers her mouth*...fuck...did I say that out loud...

Interviewer: *tries to stifle a chuckle* Yeah you did. Alright next question? What was your first kiss like? Was it with MC?

Maxine: No! I mean, no, it wasn't. I was dating this girl, Jade, during sophomore year. She was great, super cool, but it just sort of fizzled out. It was nice...the kiss. We were just hanging out, studying together. One second we're talking about A Midsummer Night's Dream, and the next she's sucking on my bottom lip. Yeah it was a good kiss...she was a good kisser.

Interviewer: So I'm guessing you weren't in love with her. Have you ever been in love?

Maxine: Yeah you're right, I wasn't in love with Jade. I haven't really tried dating anyone since. I just haven't really felt that spark, that undeniable connection.

Interviewer: *leans in* Like the one you have with MC?

Maxine: I... I mean. *takes a deep breath* I know what your trying to do.

Interviewer: *raises their hands in surrender* I'm just asking you a simple question. After hearing what you've had to say so far I think it's a very valid observation.

Maxine: *rolls her eyes* You want me to say that I'm secretly in love with MC. And I don't know, maybe I am, but they are to important to me for me to risk exploring those feelings. What if they don't feel the same? What if they do and we try being together but it doesn't work out? I love how we are now. Even if I have these other...feelings.

Interviewer: Alright, I won't press you any further...for now. What’s your ideal Friday night?

Maxine: Well I love a good theme almost as much as I love a good movie. I like to plan these movie nights where we do a double feature and have a movie themed dress code and snacks related to the movies we're watching.

Interviewer: That sounds like a lot of fun, make sure to invite me next time. Ok have you heard any good music lately? What’s the last song you listened to?

Maxine: "Ego" by Kennedy Ryon. I heard it the other day and I've had it on repeat ever since.

Interviewer: I'll have to give it a listen sometime. So what is your latest obsession?

Maxine: I just finished this really good book, The Star and The Strange Moon, by Constance Sayers. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I finished it. Annoyingly enough I don't know anyone else who's read it, so I can't discuss it with someone who gets it and it's killing me.

Interviewer: I'll make sure to give it a read, then we can chat about all the little details. Ok next question. How do you behave in a relationship?

Maxine: Mmm I don't know. I mean I've only been in one and that only lasted about 3 months. I think I was pretty...chill. It honestly just felt like we were friends who would make-out sometimes. If I was with someone that I had strong feelings for, I think I would be a bit more serious and maybe a bit territorial.

Interviewer: That makes sense. What about your approach? Do you go in first towards those you’re interested in or let them come to you?

Maxine: If it's just making friends then yeah I would say I'm pretty outgoing. And if we're talking about something more than that I think I'm probably a bit more cautious. It's nice knowing that someone wants me before I make a move.

Interviewer: Yeah taking that step first is quite the bold move. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Maxine: I can't stand arrogance. Like it's fine to be proud and confident but when you start to make others out to be less than, it's just really off putting.

Interviewer: I couldn't agree more. So, what do you notice first about a person?

Maxine: Their style, not in a judgey way. The way people dress tells you a lot about them. What they value, their hobbies, yeah it's just really interesting.

Interviewer: That's really true. A lot can be learned from how people choose to present themselves. Alright this is our final question. What did you dream about last night?

Maxine: Honestly I couldn't sleep I've been packing and getting ready for this big road trip. I'm riding with MC and Cameron to move in at NYU. It'll be a bit of a drive, but I'm pretty excited.

Interviewer: Well that sound like a side story just waiting to happen. Honestly Maxine this has been an absolute pleasure, but I believe that’s all the time we have for today. I hope that you find success on you journey through university. Thank you so much for coming in and sharing more about yourself with us!