#i know my opinion means nothing btw and i don’t except change over my silly little tumblr post but i just Really.

[macabre-crab]

mouthwashing fans will be like *fat phobia towards a man who suffered from alcoholism* *makes fun of real life sa/csa with diddy jokes* *pro life misogyny in the guise of pro choice feminism* *ableist towards people with psychosis* *ableist towards people with physical disabilities* *ableist towards p

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

Hi! I’d like a little bit of advice, if that’s okay. I don’t have any close friends I can tell this to, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

So here’s the gist: my FP and I have been on and off contact for about two years now, and last November I was under the impression that i was going to cut all contact forever. Fast forward until maybe two days ago, I see them checking out my story, and I miss them a ton so of course I say ‘hello what are you doing here silly goose. You’re not supposed to be here.’ And they say ‘I just wanted to check up on you. I’ve had a lot of trouble moving on.’

So we start talking again and they tell me they’re doing okay and that they realised some things that may make staying in contact a whole lot easier, and it HAS. Except for one thing.

We don’t have the same problems we did before but for this one issue: they’re addicted to their work and they don’t make time for me.

I don’t know if it’s just me being batshit needy or whatever, but it’s literally only been two days, and the lack of attention from them is physically painful. I don’t know how they’re doing on the other side of it and I’m too scared to bring it up, but all of our interactions so far have been very friendly and affectionate and fine.

However, if this need for attention and depression about not getting it ISN’T an overreaction, what do I do?

Their work comes first, I know that, and they know that. It’s non-negotiable, really. I don’t think they’ll make any changes if I ask them to spend more time together, or if they do, I’m scared they’ll get upset about it.

We also both know that I prefer spending a lot of time together.

Being with them but not “with” them is really painful for me, and it’s only been two days. I feel myself slipping into another depression already, the intense kind that I only ever got when we were in contact.

Should I ask to spend more time together? In the past, that sort of request would have made them really moody and avoidant, but since they’ve grown a little, I wonder if it’ll be okay.

We started out irl but then we became long distance, btw, so naturally spending time together is really difficult. It’s just that they’re always ALWAYS doing something else, even when they have free time. It just feels kind of pointless to hold my heart out for them when they’re not with me.

Is the problem me? Should we talk it out or should I just cut contact again?

-

🍀 anon

Without knowing the full details of your situation, it sounds like they ARE genuine about missing you - while, albeit, ALSO having the problem of being obsessed with their work. And again, I don't know the full details of their/your situation. If they're genuinely in such an awful work environment where they have no time for other relationships whatsoever, that's one thing....but if they're using that as an excuse to choose work over you, that is very much not a cool move, in my opinion.

(And even if the first option is true, I'd like to believe that some sort of compromise can still exist? Like at bare minimum they could dedicate their breaks and time off to you??? I may be misunderstanding the situation, but it sounds like they're NOT doing that, in which case I am truly sorry, wtf.)

I don't think you're needy or overreacting at all. I mean, there's nothing wrong at all with being "needy" or "overreacting" - but even so, I still don't think that's the case, as your reactions are VERY human especially for a human with NPD. But I also understand (and also i applaud YOU for the fact that YOU understand) that their work does genuinely come first. I like to believe that's not a choice - because if it was a choice, and they'd consistently choose work over you, that'd def be a problem. But if something not in your or their control, God, I can totally understand and relate to how that's painful on ALL ends.

I don't think you're the problem at all, and I do think it is possible to negotiate in some way. Like I said, them dedicating their days off to you could be an excellent first step, and I do think you should try to bring this up/propose this idea in the most comfortable ways possible for you. Without knowing the nature of their work, would it be possible/make you feel better if you reached out to them through the day, just so you know they're there reading your messages and will respond to them when they get a chance? Or of course if the thought of being left on read/delivered makes things worse, obviously this is something you SHOULDN'T do, but if it's ok with you that may be a great way to help you feel more connected and give you a bit of an extra push to keep them in the loop of YOUR life.

I hope that helped - let me know if you'd like further advice!

[lumineescente]

Seungjin drabble (slowtober challenge)

hii im doing a thing called slowtober (made by @/oeildesaturne on instagram, french speaking folks check it out!! although be aware of tw mental health and eds talks) and i’m posting on twitter a seungjin au per word

I’m late in the updating on tumblr but for the seventh days (october 19th - 21st) the word was “ghost”

i was extremely tempted to write angst i'm not gonna lie, but i decided not to (because it is seungjin and they deserve all the sweetest thing in the world and no angst unless there is comfort) so i went on the other side of it - no pun intended there - and go for something very fun!

if you know new girl you'll recognize my inspiration btw

this is just a silly love confession gone wrong, haunted house funfair are involved and accidental hitting too!

oh btw when i'm done with this challenge i'll hold a little poll on twitter to see which drabble should be written as a whole fic!! so if you like it, you might want to follow this:) (or not) (like it's up to you)

and i keep forgetting to thanks everyone for their time hehe<3 i appreciate every likes!

AND if you enjoyed this challenge who is now over you can vote on this form for your favorite that I’ll be writing into a full fic on ao3! (“soumettre” is “submit” btw)

if you want to check all the drabbles you can go here

In Hyunjin’s opinion the funfair is more lame than fun, but he is here for Seungmin and it goes way above and beyond any lame thing he can attend. Even if it means ruining his Halloween night, and bringing all his friends into his doom, because Seungmin got this stupid job in a haunted house. The overwhelming romantic feelings, and painfully one sided, he has for his best friend of several years has obviously nothing to do with these kind of decision. Never. No matter what Minho would say about it. Or Felix, or Jisung.

Anyway, he twitches in his halloween costume. Way before this whole situation happened, Hyunjin had decided to make his costume a bit funnier than usual, when they were supposed to celebrate it in the warmth of a house, and had picked a slutty nurse costume. Except now the skirt is definitely way too short for his liking, showing too much of his legs and the autumn night has no mercy on his skin. He could have changed when he had known the plan would, but Hyunjin is terribly stubborn.

Parents of young children are looking at him with horrified eyes, he stands a bit taller in his costume. Although he is not sure if it is the slutty or the skirt part that horrifies them, he can bet that they would have been less upset about it if he had been dressed as a man. Fuck them.

“You look very sexy,” he hears Seungmin’s voice say to him.

“I’m also very cold,” he answers.

Seungmin sits down in front of him. Hyunjin is holding on to a cup of hot beverage like his life depends on it, maybe it does though. Seungmin is dressed as a ghost, well not like the easy kind, with just a white sheet or anything. For such a little funfair and a haunted house that is so tacky Minho has already told them he had went two times and had not been scared once, the make up artists and costumers are very good.

Hyunjin is a scaredy cat, he would rather die than enter the haunted house, it can be as predictable as possible he knows he will end up on the floor crying, so he would rather wait outside for Seungmin to be done.

“I have a coat that I don’t use,” Seungmin tells him, “does not suit the vibe very much, plus it’s hot in the house.”

Hyunjin shakes his head.

“Then die in the cold,” his best friend flatly says.

“Hey! Being sexy comes with a price.”

“You’d be sexy fully covered or dressed as a pumpkin, what you wear does not matter.”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, “sexy pumpkin? Is that your thing?”

Seungmin blushes. Hyunjin can not see it under his make up but he knows him well enough to guess it. He feels proud of himself for that, if he can not do anything about his one-sided attraction at least he knows him better than anyone else, and knows exactly what to say at what time. So there is that.

“That’s not…” Seungmin stutters, “don’t be stupid! I’m just complimenting you.”

Hyunjin blinks several time, registering exactly what all of this meant. It is not unusual for Seungmin and him to compliment each other, even on their apparences. Well Hyunjin could never spend a day without telling Seungmin how handsome he looks (he makes sure not to make him uncomfortable of course), but there is something different in the tone of his voice. An embarrassment, or maybe it is the term that he has used. Hyunjin’s not sure.

“You think I’m sexy,” he says, “all the time.”

“Yeah, of course. You are so attractive it’s stupid, not that it’s the only thing that I like about you.”

Maybe the cold has frozen all his braincells, maybe but he does not react at all and Seungmin looks away.

“Sorry, forget about it,” he mutters, “I gotta go back to work, break is over.”

Hyunjin opens his mouth but nothing comes out and before he can do anything else Seungmin is gone. He stays still for a moment, trying to process what he has just heard.

“Hey,” Felix says.

His costume is way too complicated for the place they are, a cosplay from some video game he enjoys so much, and he struggles to sit down on the spot Seungmin has just left. He moves his hand in front of Hyunjin’s eyes when he has no answer, “Earth to Hyunjin?” he adds.

“Felix,” Hyunjin says in a very low voice that startles the latter, “is it possible that… maybe, Seungmin likes me?”

Felix’s hat almost drops off his head as he lets out the longest and deepest sigh he has ever had, “woh, the question is more is it possible that Seungmin does not like you? And the answer is no, by the way.”

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin asks, confused, “what do you mean?”

“Well I’m sorry to break it to you but you know every time you came to me crying because of your one sided feelings for Seungmin? They never were one sided.”

“Why didn’t you tell me??”

Hyunjin stands up, suddenly getting the control of his body back. The beverage falls down on the table spilling hot chocolate everywhere but he does not care.

“Hey! I tried! Don’t blame the messenger, you both are so oblivious it’s stupid and also kind of entertaining.”

“Fuck,” Hyunjin mutters already not listening to whatever Felix is saying, “I’ll be back.”

Without thinking he starts running toward the hunting house. There’s no need for a ticket since they paid to enter the place in the first place. He probably scares a bunch of kids and outraged some more parents but if he starts to think he will back down and he can not because Seungmin now is probably thinking that Hyunjin rejected him or something.

He regrets it immediately when he enters the house and the lights are shut down and the floor is cracking under his feet and he hears laughter in the echo, and screaming. His blood turns cold in his veins, he makes one step forward but something sticky touches him on the shoulder and he screams, painfully aware at how much skin is out to be touched. He wants to cry.

He is a man on a mission, so he does not and goes on, yelling for Seungmin’s name a bit louder every time something scares him (every two seconds).

Weird things are touching him, the floor is either too viscous or too thin, moving or painfully still, he tries not to lose his balance as fear entirely flood his brain. The noises are too loud between the children screaming in fear and the scary music and sounds everywhere. In theory he knows every trap he encounters are made up but it still works every time.

He enters a new room and feel a hand catching his shoulder and he does not think as he screams and pushes back. He hears a loud noise that has nothing to do with the haunted house, and a bunch of curses, and suddenly two people catch him and hold him on the ground. He tries to fight back but their hold is too strong. The lights are blueish in the room and his eyes have finally being used to the obscurity.

“Seungmin, are you okay?” someone says panic in their voice.

Hyunjin’s brain focuses back. In the side of the room he sees a silhouette getting up from the floor, helped by another one.

“Yeah, I’m fine I just hit my head on the side.”

“Oh my god,” he stutters, “I’m so sorry.”

The two people over him hold even tighter, he let out a scream of pain.

“Seungmin, it’s me,” he mutters, “fuck, I’m so sorry I just got scared!”

“Hyunjin?!”

He sighs as he recognize Seungmin’s voice.

“It’s me, are you hurt? Did I hurt you?”

“You can let him go,” Seungmin tells the two persons.

They seem unwilling to agree to that.

“Please,”  Hyunjin whimpers, overwhelmed by the entire situation and the fact that he still is terrified by the whole haunted house. “I’m really sorry.”

Eventually they do and Seugmin goes to his side, “why are you here? Hyunjin this is so…”

“I like you! Like more than a friend.”

He hates himself this is the worst way to confess to his long time crush. After hurting him and in the middle of a haunted house, in front of obviously very judgmental people right now. He can not blame them for that. Seungmin stares in disbelief.

“Is this why you pushed me?”

“No! This is because I was scared, I’m still very scared.”

Seungmin shakes his head but he faintly hears him laugh.

“Okay, I’m going to take a break and get checked by a doctor, okay?”

Everyone agrees to that. He then stares once again at Hyunjin who is still lying down on the floor.

“I’m wondering if you deserve to finish the haunted tour by yourself or…”

“I’m really sorry,” he repeats.

Seungmin extends a hand that he grabs and gets up.

“Fine,” he tells him, “but that’s because I like you like more than a friend too.”

The sparkles that Hyunjin feels in his heart manage to make the scary atmosphere fade away. Seungmin still holds his hand and he feels warm. He gets closer to him. Maybe the funfair is not that lame.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 21: 3x04 And the Children Shall Lead

Okay, I’m finally going to write up my thoughts on And the Children Shall Lead. I think I’m (mostly) over all of my excessively-strong emotions about this ep lol. Maybe going through my notes will bring them back. Or maybe not. I’ve felt very tired and uninterested in everything today so it’s hard to tell. So far the process is not going well: tumblr ate my first attempt at a post, like literally I wrote a few lines, clicked to a new tab, and when I clicked back the post was empty so thanks for that, and I keep on just generally not being interested in the task. So, we’ll see.

The tl;dr is that I don’t see why this ep is considered one of the worst. I actually really liked it!

Single-color jumpsuits: the fashion of the future.

Another old Kirk friend! (This isn’t even important lol; it never comes up again or matters that Kirk knew this guy, but we must always be reminded that he is the best networker in Starfleet.)

“He’s dead, Captain.” Not “he’s dead, Jim”?? Sounds wrong.

“The enemy within.” I thought that was a S1 ep?

Ah, another bunch of creepy kids. In pajamas this time, apparently.

Kirk is not having fun being the center of their creepy little rhyme.

RIP to McCoy but my diagnosis is “alien shenanigans.”

“I’m sorry, Captain Kirk.” Such a polite little alien.

McCoy corralling the kids

This sounds a lot like Miri, except purposeful—something targeted all the adults but left the kids, just like the virus in Miri affected all the adults, but not the kids.

…A disturbance in the cave!

Lol at Kirk’s anxiety face. I feel you, man.

Spock’s never experienced anxiety? My first thought is ‘sounds fake’ but actually… maybe he really hasn’t.

“There has to be an explanation.” This is the MOST Jim line.

I like these kids. They’re actually pretty cute. Also love Kirk trying to relate to the kids.

Where are they? Is this Sulu’s greenhouse lol? I love it. They should have used this set more.

“That place is for adults.” Gotta say, I wrote this down but now have no recollection what it actually refers to. The bridge? I think it’s the bridge.

Are they performing witchcraft? Intriguing.

“Friendly angel”—nothing creepy about that at all.

Got a little alien cult going on here. Every time I feel anxiety from now on I’m going to assume it’s an alien cultist nearby.

“We’ll pursue this in my quarters.” Wink wink.

Can’t fool Uhura.

Never mind. Yes you can.

For someone who wanted the kids guarded all the time, Kirk sure was ok with them just traipsing around the bridge. I mean the guards are at the door but like…they’re only at the door.

Never really thought about how there’s apparently an…engineering component... to flying the ship? I don’t know, I don’t really get it but it’s cool.

"Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth." Damn. Great line.

BAND OF MARAUDES. That’s a cool backstory for the dead alien society. Basically, they’re ghosts. Greedy ghosts. Alien ghost pirates.

Great triumvirate scene. McCoy want to protect the kids and Kirk’s like “…but the ship, though?” Which is fair!!

What does the ghost want? Um, a ship to maraud in, were you not listening to Spock’s exposition of the back story?

No don’t beam anyone down!!

Love any time Spock pushes someone else out of the way so he can man the transporter. He’s somehow the second-best expert on it on the entire ship.

Eeek, low-key gruesome death there. Look, I know that this is one of the scenes that haters love to point out as a reason to despise the episode but I personally don’t think deeply enough into the transporter situation to wonder how much information they have or assume before they beam people anywhere. Also…weird alien stuff is happening, guys. Just attribute it to that. Also also, if you’re gonna nitpick like that, be prepared to hate all of TOS.

THE KIDS STOLE THE CAR.

“Sulu, what did you to do my ship?”

Uhura’s watching this little witchcraft scene from the background like ‘aw, so cute.’

“Call upon their beasts.” Metal.

“Go to your stations.” This little kid is a future Captain in the making.

SPACE KNIVES

Kirk's like "Oh no, my crew is deserting me, I'm gonna have to fly the whole ship by myself AGAIN.”

“Captain, why are we bothering Starfleet?” Et tu, Spock?s

How did they get to Spock? He doesn’t seem scared of anything…more like he’s under the influence of a general hallucination, like the others seeing the planet on the screen even after they left orbit.

I remember this part, with Kirk freaking out. Spock doesn’t like it one bit.

He’s just being a littttle Dramatique.

Cannot believe that all Spock has to do is say “Jim” in a quiet, intimate voice and Kirk is immediately okay. Just let it out of his system, grabbed onto his friend, heard his own name, and the beast is defeated.

“My Vulcan friend”? Lol.

Kirk’s face when he realizes they’ve got Scotty too…

“Go away or we’ll kill you.” That was legitimately creepy. Scotty gone rogue.

Aw, Spock was worried about him again.

“Without followers, evil cannot spread.”

“Where did you hear this order, Chekov?” / “The voices in my head.”

It’s interesting that Kirk and Spock can’t be manipulated—perhaps because they have each other?

Enough of this—fight time!

That guard sounded like he really liked that nerve pinch; he was kinda moaning as he went down.

“Spock, corral them to their rooms.”

Outta the chair, brat.

Is Kirk going to defeat the alien evil using logic?

Summoning the “angel” by using the old recording is very clever.

When did they decide to start calling him the Gorgon?

“It lost its power in the light of reality” = “I looked into Spock’s eyes and knew myself again.”

HE IS GENTLE. It’s true and you should say it.

And he doesn’t even dispute it. “AND we are ALSO very strong.”

"You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."

So the girl is Jankowski.

This is very Candyman. The alien needs their belief to live. When they cease to follow him, he literally disappears.

Honestly, this whole alien scheme starts to look equal parts silly and sad, trying to call the crying children "generals.” They’re babies!

McCoy loves to see children in tears lol.

Kirk just hands them all off to McCoy, like ‘well, my work here is done.’

Okay, now we reverse course to pick up those stranded security guards still on the planet, right? Right? No? Okay, guess not.

Uhura, immediately ready with the paperwork lol. Now IS the time.

The end!

Now to try to interpret all of my other, more general notes.

The way I interpreted Spock being able to defy the mind control was that he was affected by Kirk. Because he clearly was affected, but then when he saw Kirk starting to freak out, he looked concerned, and then got them both off the bridge—he had a breakthrough of clarity long enough to understand he needed to get off the bridge. Then he’d be away from the kids, and they wouldn’t have as much control, and he could snap Jim out of it, too.

Like I’m sure his Vulcan resilience could easily have been part of it, too, but that resilience wasn’t enough to keep him from being affected at all—and of course they could have easily written it that way—and it seems obvious that his moment of clarity was caused specifically by watching Kirk starting to lose it. There are so many shots of him specifically watching Kirk and the guard.

The K/S vibes were so strong. Spock was so protective, then they get in the lift and Kirk basically clings to him. All he has to do is say Kirk’s name and Kirk is fine, which is basically the power of true love. And then even outside of that scene… for the whole rest of the ep, they’re a duo. It’s not just Kirk against the Evil of the Week, it’s Kirk and Spock, working together at every turn. Neither of them could have done it alone.

it's a pretty classic trope, in fact, especially in s1, to have Kirk all alone, abandoned by all...where he's the last man standing, the one who has to run the whole ship and save the whole day. Naked Time, This Side of Paradise, and Trouble with Tribbles (kinda) all come to mind. But this time he has Spock! You see the progression of their relationship in that.

I really enjoyed this episode in general. Lots of classic tropes: creepy children; surprise alien; old alien society not as dead as we thought; Kirk has to run the whole ship by himself (with Spock); heroic!Kirk saving the day… It has it all. It’s clearly revisiting some older themes and ideas, but in a sufficiently unique way that it doesn’t just seem like a rehash of an older plot. In some ways, it felt like a Classic S1 episode to me. It has some Miri elements, some Charlie X elements, some Naked Time elements…

I literally don’t understand why it’s so disliked.

Skimmed the wiki and the only specific criticism in there is that Kirk shows an “unmistakable hostility to the children.” Well first of all, he doesn’t. He might not have the best manner with them, but why should he? He’s certainly not mean or cruel to them. He recognizes they’re a danger to his ship, and to the whole planet of Marcos-12, which by the way is objectively true, but that’s not being hostile. McCoy is the one who represents ‘exclusive care for the children’s welfare’ in this ep, but he CAN do that, because he’s not the Captain. He represents that perspective, he gives his opinion, which is both his job on the ship and his role on the show, and then Kirk takes that into account while doing HIS job, which is running the ship. McCoy would have literally let the kids take over their ship and conquer the galaxy as part of their grieving process lol. Kirk was right and I should say it. (Also btw he understands that killing the kids might be an option—but he obviously doesn’t actually do it.)

I actually think this ep is a great example of the triumvirate functioning--McCoy reminds Kirk that the children are just traumatized children, and Spock reminds him that he's responsible for 400+ people on the ship, and Kirk makes the decisions that vanquish the evil, save the ship, and free the kids.

And look, even if you don’t like this episode, you’d have to argue very hard to convince me it’s the WORST, as in worse than Spock’s Brain, worse than The Alternative Factor, worse than Assignment Earth (not even a real TOS ep!), worse than The Omega Glory.

Some stuff I actively liked: the concept of the alien taking over the children specifically (both creepy and…kinda makes sense? That they’d be vulnerable); the message that the followers of demagogues can be both truly dangerous and objects of sympathy; the backstory of the evil empire of pirate aliens—and how greed doesn’t die; the witchcraft aesthetic, ESPECIALLY when paired with the kid antagonists, since kids are so into that like chanting, incantations, rituals thing; that the ep used every single main character (when was the last time a TOS ep did that?). Also I thought the kid actors did a good job!

The theme about the authoritarian and the cult followers was actually quite resonant, I thought; inevitably made me think of Tr/ump and his Tr/umpies. Just like in this episode, you must have some kind of… if not sympathy, at least willingness to do the hard work of deprograming and then bringing them back to the fold, or else the country is never going to heal and it’s never going to be able to go forward in a positive way. It might not go forward at all! But fuck it’s hard to have that sympathy; they’re so abhorrent. Here, you see the terrible things the kids do, and yet sympathy isn’t so hard, because they’re kids. You see how much they are victims/pawns also. And so in that sense, Kirk’s ability to deprogram them is comfortingly optimistic—a little bittersweet, as TOS often is, because the kids have done horrible things and seen horrible things and now they’ll have to live with it, but comforting nonetheless.

I can’t even think of that many things I didn’t like in the ep. Mostly just nitpicky things. Like, was McCoy a little inconsistent in what he thought should be done with the kids? Yeah, but we get the general idea. Did Kirk drop the ball when he let them hang out on the bridge? Yes, especially as he knew how dangerous they were at that point, but I actually don’t mind it so much because they’re kids—it’s understandable that their true dangerousness didn’t fully compute to him. I don’t see that as a mistake or sloppy writing tbh. And was it an amateur hour mistake to beam two people into space? Yes, but it made up for it in being creepy and upping the stakes of the ep.

I guess I could see how the fist gesture could be seen as a little silly. But the other option, having them speak rhymes each time, would have been distracting—and probably also looked silly! Also, as my mom pointed out, it looks like a kid’s game (sorta like the start of rock paper scissors) so it fits appropriately with the theme.

I really liked how they wove in the aesthetic of kids’ games, kids’ manners of playing, into the narrative. Kids can be really creepy! They like creepy things! So the ring around the rosy rhyme at the beginning—a quite disturbing chant, of course, about the Plague, that is also very commonly sung by actual kids—foreshadows the summoning chant that brings the alien to them. It’s all of a piece. And just like the rhyme is just a rhyme, and they don’t know the real meaning behind it, they probably also don’t fully understand the meaning of the summoning chant or the alien that comes with it. It’s all one big game to them.

It’s interesting that the alien seemed to play off their desire both to punish their parents for working too much ("they like the planet, they're always busy") and to have freedom from parental rules (how they react to any instructions from adults, the alien's promise that the whole universe will be their playground, etc.). He really picks their sore spots as kids specifically and turns them into his “generals” accordingly. Like all kids, they don’t think too much about the larger consequences of their game because in some ways, it really is all just a game to them.

I liked how the episode characterized Kirk’s ability to interact with kids. He’s not bad with them at all, but he’s not like McCoy or Chapel either. He “wants to communicate with the future adult in the kid,” as my mom put it, which is perfect. He doesn’t exactly treat them as mini-adults—he doesn’t say inappropriate things to them, and he does simplify his language and his ideas for them—but he does treat them very seriously. And he’s probably best at one-on-one interactions like with Tommy. I think this makes total sense for his character: he doesn’t have kids (David aside lol), he doesn’t have younger siblings, he doesn’t work in a place where he’d see other people’s kids, he doesn’t get to see his nephew much, etc.

…Okay those were all my notes. I know I had other thoughts that were a little less scattered later, but… I’m tired. And most of it is probably in here in some form or another. I also found a list of, like, actual critiques of the episode, and I was considering going through them and addressing them all, and I might still do that. But I think that’s for another day.

[weaselle]

Let’s talk about Witchcraft!

I used to pal around with people who considered themselves witches and pagans. California is a great place for finding people of a similar mindset, and I began a journey into what I then considered witchcraft with books by Aleister Crowley and a skill with tarot cards. Later, I celebrated a year’s worth of Sabbats with a group I joined in Germany. In Alabama I helped a couple people who were struggling with leaving christianity remain connected to a natural spiritualism through concepts such as the Lord and Lady. But my personal witching identity never truly fell in line with Wiccan paganism.

My grandmother had Gifts, I’ve written about them before. She had The Voice and she had True Dreams and some kind of Sight, all of which I personally witnessed before she passed.  I share the same birthmark as she, and, present at my birth, she pronounced some kind of minor prophecy regarding me when she saw the mark. My mother died when I was very young and nobody else took it seriously enough to remember this ‘prophecy’; Grandma herself when she recounted the story seemed to feel telling me her actual words would... not be a good idea.

I have my own variation of her gifts, more like Charm than Voice I would say; nothing special about my dreams when I have them at all, definitely some kind of Sight. But these gifts are not the kind of thing that are controlled or used on purpose, and, at least in my own family, come rarely into our lives. Altogether I have had noticeable access to these gifts perhaps ten times in my 40+ years.

However, I have developed a brand of practical witchcraft that suits me and seems more (not to be dismissive of other folks but) more real than what I was participating in when I was spending time with wiccan flavored witchery. Perhaps an example is in order. Let us consider the Athame, the witch’s blade.

Most of the people I’ve known to have an Athame have had some silly ceremonial decorative thing. Some chrome plated jagged shaped enormous monstrosity, and they only use it ten times a year to salute the 4 directions and ritualistically sacrifice some cheese or whatever.

But witchcraft is old. The OLDEST magic, the FIRST magic -- witching is older than the very concept of a decorative knife. Witchcraft, in my opinion, is a very practical practice.

My own Athame is my chef’s knife.

I use it every day. I know its weight, the feel of it in my hand, I’m skilled with it, I care for it daily, sharpening, cleaning; it feeds me, a part of almost every dinner I eat. If I lost it I would feel as though I lost a part of myself. I can use it to create things that will, for example, win over a romantic partner’s family (let’s be honest, cooking and witchcraft are closely tied together). It is well suited to butchering a small animal, if I was the kind of witch that did animal sacrifice, this is the knife I would use.

This, to me, is a witch’s blade.

The rest of a witch’s tool box is just as practical. Knife, music, wand, chalice, candle, pentacle. Other witch’s tools are basically these same things, much the way a torch is basically a big candle. Mystical as they may seem in a modern setting, these things are, in their purest form, simply the things you would need to be different than an animal, and survive as a human being in the wild.

You have fire (candle). A musical sound (bell is often simplest but plenty of witch kits substitute a flute, or a small drum, or some other simple instrument). A pentacle is little more than a flat work surface, like a cutting board, which is far more rare and valuable than we take it for if you live in the wild. And lets talk about the chalice and wand.

A wand is a stick. Possibly the first multi-purpose tool humans ever regularly used. You can use it to dig tubers. Draw diagrams in the dirt. Stir a stew or poke a fire. It extends your reach when getting fruit from trees or poking into holes for small edible creatures. A spear is, at its base concept, a large wand (the chimpanzees we’ve observed making and using spears are mostly mothers btw). And there are two reasons I suspect one might attach significance to waving a stick around in the air.

1: if you see a group of people talking and gesturing, but one of them is gesturing with some kind of stick, that one is in charge or has some special say in things. Right? I mean obviously there will be exceptions, but that basic observation is pretty true. In this way, it confers an invisible power.

2: if you are entering an old holy place, one that you only enter a few times a year, some kind of cave, or small grove, or temple... I can tell you from experience you’re probably going to want to find a stick and wave it around in front of you, around the entire space. Or you’re going to get that icky startle you feel when you catch a strand of spiderweb to the face. Imagine how that whole process might look to someone who doesn’t know what’s happening.

But there’s something else about a wand. A classic wand will have a pointy end (of obvious use in a variety of situations) and a thicker blunt end. This is not just for grip. That blunt end can combine with the chalice or cup to be a mortar and pestle. Now your wand, knife, chalice and candle are really coming together, because when you are done making whatever it is with the knife and mortar and pestle (probably on the surface of your pentacle) you can hang your chalice over the candle and heat it. This is how a witch might make a medicinal tea, or potion. 

Sometimes, one might attach something to the tip of the wand to specialize it, so a wand might have a rounded riverstone that would be a greater pestle. Or it might have a crystal that can make fire from sunlight. Or it might have a gem with a point hard enough to inscribe things on stones. All manner of things. Practical Things, though, is what I’m saying. Things that would have bordered on magic when the first humans had access to these tools.

So that for the tools. But what about Spells?

I don’t know how witching on the internet works. I’m old. But I’m going to tell you how a money spell I’ve used works, and that will give you an insight into my brand of witching and magic maybe. What you do is, you put a container on your altar (you have an altar. No, you DO. It’s either that place your keys and wallet always wind up, or the desk you do your creating at, or the spot next to the stove that’s supposed to be clear space but your cutting board and favorite knife is always there in front of jars of your favorite seasonings even though technically all that stuff has other places they are supposed to be kept. Sadly it might be your TV. These places fill altar functions. Unless you have a specially designated altar somewhere else already, of course) ANYway, you take a container, the bigger it is the stronger the spell but also the more time and effort it will take. Anyway, you put it on your altar. You stand in front of your altar and you make a solemn promise to put every penny you find there, in that container. Only literal penny coins, mind you. You vow to fill it to overflowing. You get an image in your head of what that looks like, and you concentrate on that, and you dedicate yourself to arriving in a universe in which this image is a reality. Basically, by spending time and energy on the promise, you make yourself take it seriously. You decide what you will do with those pennies. Be standing there making your penny collecting vow when you decide on that thing. It must be a whole thing, don’t add them to other money for anything, and don’t spend them on things you already set money aside for regularly; ideally you pair what you are doing with those pennies to concepts of reward and/or sacrifice. So you could vow to take them to a wishing fountain and throw them all in yourself or give them to other people to make wishes, or decide to take them all to a dessert place you like but rarely go to, and spend them on your favorite dessert they have for you or your bestie (fountain or cake, you walk away from spending them without owning anything more than when you started - hence an aspect of sacrifice… eating the pennies as cake or throwing them out as an offering is the same as burning them in a fire in many ways) And - this is important - you think about how money is desirable and vital enough that even the smallest possible increment, the lowly penny, is still worth handling and saving and spending in a planned and disciplined fashion. You THINK about that. Then you go about your life. But as you do so, you pick up and pocket every single penny you see. Pennies are worth so little, that we would often rather dump one in the garbage than pick through the dustpan to save it, but that’s not you anymore. Now, you will cross the street to pick one up out of the gutter if you see one. You’ll still put your change in the tip jar, but you’ll hold back the pennies. The more crazy into this you are, the stronger the spell… top-tier witches doing this spell would wade waist deep in cow poop to acquire a single shit-stained penny. You’re on a mission. You’ve made a promise. And you’re witching. When you get home with these pennies, at some point you’ll put them in the container on your altar. Each time you do, because of how brains work, you’ll be reminded of your promise. You’ll see your vision of overflowing coins again. You’ll imagine how fun the wishing fountain is going to be, or how delicious the cake is going to taste. And - this is important - you’ll think about how money is so desirable and vital that that even the smallest possible increment is worth handling and saving and spending in a planned and disciplined fashion. It may take you weeks to fill the container. It may take you months. But when you are done, when you have completed your vow, dispense the pennies as you planned. Don’t forget to give it extra time here. Look lovingly at the vision you have manifested, at the overflowing container when you have filled it. Feel the weight of it. Count them, roll them, recognize specific pennies that look different, think about pennies you collected in memorable ways. Fill yourself with pride and satisfaction, and carry that feeling with you to the fountain, to the dessert shop. Let your planned activity at that place magnify those feelings, reinforce those feelings. This is the culmination of the spell, the fireball leaving the tip of the wand -- experience the wonder and power of what you have done. See, true witching is, at its heart, extremely practical. It’s just a way for a human being to use intuition to reach truths housed in the dark mystery of our beings that science is only recently able to shed some light on. Things like how wearing clothes you perceive as “tough” will actually make you produce more “tough” chemicals like testosterone and adrenaline (according to studies that measured hormone levels of people switching between wearing leather jackets and pink dresses) or how if you BELIEVE a substance is medication, it can have some curative effects even if it’s just a sugar pill (placebos). Witching is often just working with these realities without access to detailed knowledge of all the science behind it.

Anyhow, when this spell is done, you will see money differently. Your spending habits will be different. You’ll think about money differently. Throwing your change in the tip jar won’t be a mindless activity, and maybe it makes you realize how little you’re actually putting in there and you wind up spending more money on tips than you used to - that’s okay, that’s good, the fact is, the thing you are doing with that money, how you chose to allocate your change from buying a cup of coffee, that is no longer an activity that you don’t really pay attention to; you put thought into it now. Money will have more value, now that not only are you WILLING to pick though dirt for a single cent, but it is actually habit to do so if you see one. Now something is no longer “just a dollar” it is ONE HUNDRED CENTS, and you have a visceral understanding of how much each of those cents is worth to you. And - this is important - you have completed an exercise in money management, wherein you dedicated to a planned expenditure, saved up the necessary funds, and followed through, laying paths in your neural network that take long enough to become habit and end in reward experience (it doesn’t have to be cake, simply completing your plan will give you the reward feelings, like finishing a video game level). You did this without having to change your finances, expenditures, or budget. It was just pennies, it wasn’t like when you try to save for a vacation and the saving is like a new bill you struggle to pay. This fit into your budget like it was nothing. Like it was extra money from nowhere, like it was… magic. The effects will keep spreading, rippling, transforming your life, your RELATIONSHIP with money will have been transformed, in a way too big to fully understand all implications - maybe people see a change in how you are with money and become more likely to trust you with it, more willing to loan you some when you need it. Maybe this will have filled you with ideas for other money management goals and the confidence to see them through and who knows where that will lead you? There is so much mystery and interconnection in this universe, the effects may well be long lasting and incredibly impactful. And that’s how a witch does a money spell. imo. Obviously, if you’ve read the first part of this post, you know I’m not saying this is how all magic works, or that there is no true mystery -- after all, did i not get suddenly taken to a casino for 15 minutes one morning so Grandma could win that poker jackpot with a royal flush in clubs that her late husband told her about in a dream? Clearly there is a great mysticism in the universe. But in my experience, much of the day to day experience of life and magic for a witch is rooted in practical practices.

Now go have fun darlings, and make magic happen

[killers-high]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO? (i mean, he’s rather liked overall but there’s not that many ppl who rp him?)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  OH YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO / KIND OF?

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. --> hard to say. kinda yes, but then not that much. there are characters who sure were more relevant.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. <-- depends who you ask, heh

How strictly do you follow canon?  — In general I keep my Kenpachi close to canon, but I’m not very strict about it. I like to fill up the holes left in canon story with headcanons, and I’m open for plots that are canon-divergent as long as they simply make sense, logic-wise. I’m also willing to deviate from canon when comes to shipping -- for me it’s about chemistry and chemistry only; I have a few ships I like when comes to dynamics and such, but I wouldn’t turn down a character my Kenpachi grew to like/love only because it’s not on my ship list. Of course all the canon relationships are relevant and you can totally jump straight to the kind of interactions your character used to have with mine in the manga, but anything more than that needs to be developed first. Also, I acknowledge the relation between Kenpachi and Unohana as canon, but I see it more as a mother-child relationship; even if there’s some twisted kind of affection in it, it’s hard for me to imagine them living together as a happy little family. I know, the idea is cute, but personally I think there’s far too much bitter feelings between them so it could ever work this way.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Uh, I’m not sure what makes Kenpachi interesting for other people as a character, so I’ll just say a few words about what could make my version of Kenpachi possibly interesting to interact with, I guess. Kenpachi is a guy not only of great power, but of great experience as well. People tend to see him as a bloodthirsty berserk with all brawn and no brains, but there’s so much more to him than meets the eye -- he’s more clever than he likes to show, and while his kind of wisdom might be not so obvious and ‘classical’ kind, he has it and he uses it both in his fights and in interactions with others. Although he might make an impression that his own strength is all he cares about, it’s only partially true. Kenpachi likes to help others become stronger and watch them grow just as much as he likes to improve his own power; he hates to see wasted potential, and he often provokes or challenges people into situations that, in his opinion, will help them to discover their strength or improve as a person. He’s not a touchy-feely guy and he hardly lets it show, but he cares about the ones who are close to him and would risk own life without a second thought to protect them -- however, this other, more private and more vulnerable side of him usually stays hidden from the world, as he’s not willing to show it to anyone except those who worked hard to gain his trust.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Kenpachi is not interested in people who aren’t willing to fight -- not only literally, but also fight for themselves, for their goals, dreams, fight to overcome their weaknesses, their bad experiences, their fears. He has little patience for those who whine and do nothing to improve their life, so instead of support they get as much as disdainful look from him. He’s hardly interested in interacting with anyone who can’t offer him either a good fight or a good challenge of some other kind -- or a way to kill boredom at least -- and can be pretty unresponsive if the way other character approaches him doesn’t pick up his curiosity. On top of that, he can be a bit of a handful at times -- he gets annoyed pretty easily, tends to be restless and snappy when bored, he speaks before he thinks and since he’s pretty foulmouthed and pulls no punches he often hurts others even while it was not his intention.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  My muse himself. Kenpachi was my favorite character from the first time I’ve seen him (around 2008 or so), and when I discovered Bleach rp on tumblr (by accident while hunting for pics lmao) I decided to give it a shot.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  I don’t really need inspiration to write him. I can do it at pretty much any time given, likely because we’re similar character-wise and it takes me like zero effort to get in his skin. The only thing I need is a rough idea for some plot and BOOM here we go. Unless it’s a chat rp, then I don’t need even this.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES? / NO. <-- you tell me

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I don’t have any problem with criticism in general. If something about my character or the way I write him bothers you, feel free to tell me. I can’t promise I’m gonna care though -- Kenpachi is a very personal muse for me, and the way I portray him sometimes can differ from other portrayals or from what’s ‘canon’ simply because he shares a lot of qualities with me as his writer. Fact that you criticized my portrayal doesn’t mean I will change a single thing about it, but sure I won’t get offended or stop interacting with you only cause you said a word or two. The only criticism I never publish/respond to is shit aimed at stirring up drama, as people who write such are not worth my time.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  FUCK YEAH. Some of them really force me to think about stuff I wouldn’t have thought about otherwise, and make me discover my character anew in some places I thought I already know him ins and outs. I like all the questions, no matter the topic, and I do my best to answer them with details.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure I’d be curious about what their reasoning is, like, what makes them think things aren’t the way I see them? What is their headcanon on this particular topic? Do they disagree completely, or just some part of it doesn’t lie well with them?

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  Depends how they carry it out. If it’s like ‘okay i don’t think so but it’s cool, everyone can have own opinion’ it’s totally fine, i’m far too old to bang heads over such silly shit (there’s no ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ portrayal btw -- everyone does it their own way and there’s nothing to whine about). If they come to my askbox solely with the purpose to pester me about it, and do it in a way that makes me question their age and/or mental health, I’m gonna block their ass out of existence.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I don’t care and it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever notice they do unless they make effort to bring it to my inbox. In the end it’s their problem, not mine; I’m just gonna continue doing my thing while they’ll be wasting time and energy on writing shit nobody cares about.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Sure. English ain’t my native so if I write something that makes no sense just lemme know -- it’s a way to learn, too, and if you tell me there’s a chance I don’t make the same mistake again.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  Yeah, I’m pretty laidback and I don’t give a flying fuck about 99% of things that tend to raise a lot of hackles. It’s nearly impossible to offend me, and I have a lot of understanding for the fact other people have their own lives, likes, problems, ideas, families, health issues, work routines and whatnot, so I never pester anyone for replies or anything rp related. However, I’m a confirmed extrovert in this kingdom of introverts which is tumblr, so I tend to hang out on Discord/chats a lot and then think I must be a fucking pain in the rear for my more introverted friends cause I’m always the one to message them first, and it makes me want to melt into a sad pool of shame for being such a needy fucktard.

tagged by: @hirako5hinji [thank you!]

Not sure who did it already, so if you see it on your dash and wanna do it, feel tagged B]

[ninatranslates]

Just thoughts about some of the official NDRV3 translations.

I just wanna discuss a few of the things I’ve seen talked about here and there. As a couple of side notes, (1) these are just my opinions. You’re free to disagree, but don’t lose your mind over it. 

(2) There is no one true way to translate a language. Give the same text to a bunch of different translators and they will all come back with different results. Therefore, there can be multiple “correct” translations of a single text. And in the end, fans are allowed to use whichever they like best. 

(3) Literal meaning isn’t all that makes up a language. Keep in mind that translating is a balancing act between meaning, nuance, and feeling. Sometimes you need to choose one over the other. Translators will try their best to minimize this, but some things are bound to get lost in translation. This applies to any language.

And (4) what counts as an acceptable English equivalent for a fan translation may not be appropriate for an official localization, and vice-versa. This is because they target different audiences, and naturally, the same text is perceived differently by different people. NDRV3 fan translators will assume their audience is familiar with Japanese media, know a bit of the language and culture, and have played the past DR games. On the other hand, the official localization is targeting a general English-speaking audience to sell their game as much as possible. This includes those who are new to DR and Japanese media, and the localization team needs to take care not to alienate them, since they make up the bulk of the western audience. 

Anyways, if you’re interested about my thoughts so far or are curious about a few of the localization choices, keep reading for more. But note that I’m not a professional or veteran translator, I’m a young Japanese-American who likes anime and translates for fun. Don’t take my opinions as the word of God. 

There are no spoilers. 

Here are some things about the localization that I agree and disagree with:

STRONGLY AGREE (I wish I thought of that):

Luminary of the Stars, Kaito Momota - This is great, they managed to make it sound both cool/epic and short/sweet, while capturing the nuances of his catchphrase 宇宙に轟く百田解斗, uchuu ni todoroku Momota Kaito “I am Kaito Momota, who will become well-known/famous throughout space”, but in a “they will speak of me in legends” or “my legends will spread throughout the galaxy” sort of way. I’m jealous. 

Nyeeeeeh - Cute, funny, and lazy! Admittedly I have trouble translating unusual onomatopoeias, and Himiko’s habitual んなー was no exception. Literally spelled as nnaa, I tried to translate it as “uhnaa”, but I still wasn’t quite happy with it. “Nyeeeh” is so much better gaaaah.

AGREE

K1-B0/Keebo - Probably the most controversial, and I’m probably offending people by saying this, but there’s actually more to Kiibo’s name than you’d think. Before they released his name, I was wondering how they would translate it, since there are just so many elements in his name that a simple “Kiibo” or “Kibo” can’t carry over. I think this deserves a longer explanation, but basically, K1-B0 and nickname Keebo preserve most of the nuances and intentions that were in the original Japanese. From the obvious and stupid humor, to the cuteness, to emphasizing his robotness and humanness at the same time, to giving off the right first impressions, and to setting up some of the intended expectations... The only thing that’s missing is the “hope” wordplay. But hey, unless you can think of a feasible way to overlap “Kiibo” with “hope”, it’s just one of those things that’s gonna get lost in translation. Also, whether “K1-B0″ and “Keebo” will work still depends on the execution of the dialogue. However, both キーボ and K1-B0/Keebo gave me the same “wow that’s so stupid, I love it” reaction as both a Japanese and American fan, and I was just really impressed by how they were able to replicate it so perfectly. Anyways, I can still understand why people would hate it, since it is just such a jarring non-name. But as long as you don’t work for NISA, you’re still allowed to call him whatever you want. In case you haven’t noticed, the Japanese language doesn’t use alphabets, and there’s no one true way to romanize his name. So K1-B0, Keebo, Kiibo, Kibo, Ki-bo, and Kībo are all acceptable ways to spell キーボ. However, “Kibou” is incorrect, since that’s just “hope”. It’s the difference between キーボ and キボウ. But I won’t hunt you down for it, it’s not that big a deal.

Oma - Similar to Kiibo, except not nearly as complicated or as big a deal as fans make it out to be. Ouma, Oma, and Ōma are all acceptable ways to romanize 王馬. But since they already used the “Oma” method of spelling for every other character in every other game, making an exception just for “Ouma” for no real reason would be inconsistent and unprofessional. The “Oma” spelling is also the most common way to localize Japanese names (ex. Pikachu from ピカチュウ pikachuu and Goku from 悟空 gokuu). Even among real-life Japanese people living in America, they are more likely to spell their name the “Oma” way, though the “Ouma” way isn’t uncommon either. The fact “Oma” means “grandma” in another language is irrelevant, since last I checked, this is an English localization. As an example, did you know Japanese people find the French phrase “qu'est-ce que c'est” really funny? It’s cuz it sounds like ケツクセ... as in, “Your butt stinks”. But I’m not gonna tell the French to stop saying “What’s up?” because they’re implying someone farted in Japanese. Or hey, even my own first name means “newly-bloomed na flower” in Japanese (新菜 nina), but it basically means “fresh vegetable” (xīncài) in Chinese. Or an even better, real-life localization example would be Miyazaki’s Laputa: The Castle in the Sky. The fact that la puta means “the whore” in Spanish didn’t force the English localization to change the name of the castle, though they did understandably drop it from the title. “Laputa” is something the Spanish dub needs to worry about, which they did, they changed the name to “Lapuntu”. Anyways getting side-tracked. As you can see, a normal word in one language can mean something silly or inappropriate in another language. This literally happens all the time. And if you don’t like “Oma”, you’re still free to call him “Ouma”. Just because it’s unofficial, doesn’t mean it’s incorrect. Really. It just. Does not. Matter. Also here’s every other main series DR character who got the same treatment: Kyoko (Kyouko) Kirigiri, Mondo Owada (Oowada), Sakura Ogami (Oogami), Toko (Touko) Fukawa, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (Kuzuryuu), Kazuichi Soda (Souda) Rantaro (Rantarou) Amami, Ryoma (Ryouma) Hoshi, Shuichi (Shuuichi) Saihara, Korekiyo Shinguji (Shinguuji), Kirumi Tojo (Toujou), Monotaro (Monotarou)

Piano freak - Not quite sure why people were upset about this other than excessive nitpicking. In Japanese, you could call nerds “(obsession) idiot” in the way that all they care and think about is their obsession and nothing else. But this isn’t how “idiot” is used in English, so the best equivalent is actually “(obsession) freak”. However, “idiot” is acceptable for a fan translation, since many anime fans are familiar with the meaning and connotations of バカ (baka). 

Monokuma Kubs/MonoKubs - Pronounced Monokumaazu, the direct translation is “Monokumarz” or “Monokumaz”, which works just fine for a fan translation, but doesn’t quite carry over the connotations for a general English-speaking audience. It’s like the huge gap in feeling between “The Doraemons” in English and “The Doraemons” (ザ・ドラエモンズ) in Japanese. (How many of you are actually familiar with The Doraemons btw lmao.) Using “the”, the plural “s”, and “ers” (like workers and singers) is normal in English, but using them in Japanese gives off squad or team vibes with a dash of silly humor. “MonoKubs” does just that while sounding nice and simple. “MonoKubz” would’ve been great too, and fans can still use whatever they like best.

NEUTRAL

Voice recasting - One word. Budget. 

Dub quality - I think the quality is pretty expected since the voice acting industry in America isn’t nearly as big as in Japan. But I also have zero interest in dubs, so I’m pretty biased on this one oops. My assumption is they’re doing the best they can. Also English speakers mispronouncing foreign names is nothing new. Even though I do find the memes funny, I don’t expect people who don’t speak Japanese to get it perfect, just like I don’t expect Japanese voice actors to get their English perfect.

Mastermind - The most literal translation of 首謀者 (shubousha) would’ve been “ringleader”, except “ringleader” doesn’t sound nearly as cool or memorable as “mastermind”. So they chose impact and rule-of-cool over literalness and subtlety. Which is understandable. Besides, if they wanted to be literal, they should’ve gone with “puppetmaster” (黒幕 kuromaku) in the first game. I think both “ringleader” and “mastermind” are acceptable here. 

First-name basis/no honorifics - I personally prefer when translations preserve honorifics. It just says a lot about the character and their relationships. However, just like there are no perfect English equivalents for all the Japanese ways to say “I” and “you”, there’s just no exact English equivalent for all these honorifics, so using them risks alienating the general audience. Also, this is what they went with for the other two games, so it’d be a little bit awkward changing it now. This decision doesn’t match my personal preference, but it’s a completely understandable and common one. 

DISAGREE

Male delinquents - Tenko uses the term 男死 (danshi) for men, which is a pun on “men” and “death” to show her disgust for them. However, there’s a big difference in meaning and implication between “I hate male delinquents” and “I hate males”. Also not as punny as “menace” (credit to @oumakokichi for the pun). I worry they did this to avoid offending guys... but there’s no way to know for sure. My opinion of "male delinquents” could also change depending on its execution.

Kiyo - I can understand that English-speakers might have trouble pronouncing Japanese names that are more than three syllables... but this feels like they’re dumbing down the audience a bit. Come on, let the boy keep his name!

STRONGLY DISAGREE (Just. Why.)

Gonta’s Tarzan speak - Gonta has the intellect of a child, and speaks like one, sure... But he doesn’t speak like a caveman. He’s perfectly fluent and literate in Japanese, so this seems like inappropriate stereotyping to me. My guess is someone really misinterpreted Gonta’s character and dialogue, or wanted to treat feral children “realistically”. Not a fan of this at all.

UNDECIDED

Atua - Honestly not sure what to think of this, since I know nothing of Polynesian mythology. I don’t know if naming Angie’s god after a real-life term for Polynesian gods and spirits is appropriate, since we don’t know if Angie’s god is actually an atua, and especially because her religion is depicted as shady and cultish. I think depicting her religion this way would’ve been (arguably borderline) acceptable as long as her god remained unspecific and made-up. And considering that most Japanese people are agnostic, possessing a general, unspecific belief in a god or infinite gods/spirits, I did assume this was the intent of the original context. But I just don’t know enough about Polynesian culture to form a concrete opinion. Like, does the Japanese text make references to Angie’s god being an atua? Are there any atua that fit the description? Or is it like Shinto where there are an infinite amount of all kinds of kami? How much care is being put into accuracy and respect for the culture in the English localization? My gut reaction is “strongly disagree”, but until I hear some thoughts from Polynesian DR fans, I’m going to remain undecided. 

Anyways, just wanted to get my thoughts out there. In general it seems the localization is trying their best, but there are a few glaring decisions. Again, you’re welcome to disagree. Just remember your human decency and don’t be rude. Everyone lives a different life and perceives things differently, and just because something is imperfect or unpopular doesn’t mean you can’t like it or you have to hate it.

Thanks for reading, I welcome any friendly comments and additions!

[octoberland]

Season 4, Episode 10 - The Last Stand

Oh boy. Here we are. Can I tell you guys what a giant dork I am? I am such a giant dork that I watched the episode twice and took three pages of notes. Spoilers ahoy, btw.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Overall, I liked it. Except for the last few minutes but we’ll get to that. I liked seeing everyone together again, including the flashback. That was nice.

I feel like there were a lot of red herrings this past season. I don’t know if that was bad writing or intentional. Actually, it goes back before this season. The Lumen was supposed to be so important and yet it seems like it meant nothing in the end. Then there was the whole thing about cutting off the Master’s minions which also amounted to nothing. And then there was the bit where Setrakian gave Eph the recipe for the white. The reason I mention that is that because typically in television details like that aren’t given as throwaways. They usually mean something. But in this show it just seems like a lot of details didn’t end up meaning anything.

All that being said, it makes sense that Eph was the end game. It began with him and so it ended with him. Kind of ashamed of myself for not seeing that sooner.

The arc with Zach failed in my humble opinion. They made us hate him so much this past season that I did not give two shits that he died. I was more upset over the prospect of Fet dying. Like, actual tears when he agreed to sacrifice himself. But Zach? I felt nothing. And I don’t really understand why Zach changed at the end. I mean, they made him pretty devoid of redemption this whole season so why the sudden change of heart?

If the Master’s plan had worked how did he plan on leaving NYC? I’m just curious because I know the bridges are blown up and he can’t travel over running water, right? Or am I missing something?

I’m proud of my murder baby thinking of luring the Master to the tunnel but sort of disappointed in the humans for not thinking of it because honestly, it was my first thought.

I am NOT HAPPY about Quinlan’s death. Now granted, I’m biased, but it kind of felt like a fuck you? It was not an honorable end. I knew he couldn’t defeat the Master. I never expected that. But I just kind of feel like the whole Master stomping his face in was degrading and unnecessary. Why couldn’t he have at least died on his feet? Gotten a good warrior’s death? I can’t help but wonder if in that last moment he felt any doubt and wondered if they’d failed.

Fet is my fucking hero and as much as I love Dutch I take back what I said. Fet is my favorite human character on this show and Kevin Durand deserves an award.

I am glad Dutch lived. Like, yay, they let a girl live! I really wasn’t sure that would happen.

I’m confused about one line and I’m not sure if I just misheard it or what so maybe you guys can help me out? It’s when Eph says to Dutch: “How desperate you must be to think Fet wasn’t me.”

And now my epidemiology geekiness is going to come out. Smallpox is not an inherently hemorrhagic disease. Only a small percentage of cases presented that way. I know it’s a small point to get hung up on but it’s a subject I’m kind of mildly obsessed with. Also, not too smart to keep some strigs around. Wonder if they’re trying to keep options open for another show?

Oh, and someone tell me about that throat thumping thing the Master did??? Was that in the books? I’ve never seen anyone mention it but I thought it was really cool.

So back to the ending, it seemed silly to me that the Master hugged Zach thus giving him the opportunity to kill them both. Like, Zach just shot him. Did he forget that? It seemed sloppy to me. From a story telling perspective Zach pushing the button made sense. He pushed it once before to kill people and now he pushed it to save people. I’m okay with that I just felt the execution of that scene could have been better.  

Anyway, that’s that. There will be no more that we know of. I’ll miss this show, flaws and all. Though I know they won’t see this, my heartfelt thanks goes out to all the cast and crew for their hard work.

I hope our little fandom can go on for a bit longer. I know we’ll all move on eventually but it’s been a fun time overall.

So now, fellow fans, tell me. What did you think? Reblog/reply or DM with your thoughts. I’d love to hear them.