#i know it'll pass (it fucking better) but right now i just feel like screaming out of frustration every single day

[girlbossdean]

look away besties I need to rant/whine for a second and I'm too lazy to get out my actual diary

[thatfreshi]

Hi! Can I request a story about Tav having trouble fighting cause Astarion just fed on her and so he gets worried and protective ofc. Maybe they were ambushed at camp or something? Thank you so much for your work! I really like how you write Astarion

Tw - animal attack, lots of gore, themes of death

Recommended Song: Seek and Destroy - SZA

Against better judgment, you let Astarion feed on you almost every night. It's just one of those things, a sacrifice you make, an act of love. After decades of disrespect, scavenging for next to nothing, you thought it'd be nice for him to have something better than animals. While he always insists it isn't necessary, he never passes you up on the offer. A ritual before bed every night, like a lover's embrace, you've come to adore the feeling of his teeth.

This evening in particular, he took quite a bit. You don't mind, considering you go to bed almost right after. Light-headed, woozy, you're wrapped up in his arms.

"Thank you darling."

His embrace almost feels warm when you're this drained. You almost drift off, but he keeps you awake.

"Tav, you need to eat something first."

You groan, absolutely exhausted, trying to keep him in the bedroll.

"Nooo, I'll just do it tomorrow."

He smiles, moving your hair out of your eyes.

"That's not how it works my sweet. Now, let me get up so I can-"

Goblin war drums. The sound of the percussive rhythms bouncing off all the trees, they're not far off, and Astarion knows they're on the way. Karlach starts making her way to every tent, telling your companions to get their asses in gear.

"Tav, Astarion, let's go!"

"Shit."

Astarion whispers to himself. You're still not fully there, in and out of sleep.

"What's going on?"

Double vision, you see two of your vampire lover get up and start rummaging around for his daggers.

"Just- just stay here Tav. It's alright."

You try to rub at your eyes, desperately wanting to figure out what's going on. Before you can ask again, he's gone, and you hear more war drums outside. You quickly realize it's goblins. They must've found where you've been hiding, but your head is still spinning. Trying to get up and grab your blade, you almost fall back to the ground. Steadying yourself for a moment, you try your best to listen to what's going on outside. It sounds deadly, metal, screams. You hear Shadowheart casting left and right.

When you manage to stumble out of the tent, you're tackled by one of their dogs, or whatever wretched things they are. A scream rips out of your throat, trying to hold the thing off. It bites rabidly at your arm, leaving numerous gashes, until it's thrown off of you and stabbed to death, relentlessly.

"Gods damnit, I told you to stay in the tent Tav!"

You're too worried about your arm throbbing in pain to care about the validity of his argument. He's angry, and perhaps both of you aren't entirely certain why. It's your dominant arm, you can barely move it. Astarion goes to wrap your arm, but is quickly overpowered by the numbers again. They must've sent a large party after the lot of you. Halsin and Shadowheart are running out of magic, already drained. It's bad, but it'll end soon. With a couple more fights and a thunderwave from Gale, the rest of the goblins scurry off, knowing they're fighting a losing battle. Astarion doesn't even stop to loot their corpses, running to your side.

"You're a fucking idiot Tav, you know that?"

Gods, he could sound so mean when he wanted to. You know he says those things out of fear, but they still hurt. Despite how angry he is, he starts ripping pieces of cloth from his shirt, wrapping your arm, which is bleeding far too fast. Shadowheart and Halsin come over to supervise, both out of arcana until they get some rest.

"Yes, the two of you standing over my shoulder is quite helpful. Might as well cheer me on while you're at it!"

His movements are ragged, furious, only making your arm hurt more than it does. He's lost though, somewhere in his head, unable to hear the cries of pain as he's wrapping your arm. You're even more lost than before, your blood leaving rapidly.

"Aster, I-"

"Hush."

He then realizes you were going to tell him you were about to pass out, because you almost immediately fall over.

"Damnit!"

He holds you in his arms, your limb still not fully wrapped.

"If the two of you want to be helpful, get me some actual bandages instead of gawking at me!"

Sure, Astarion hates doing things that require hard work, but he knows how. How many times did he have to do something like this to himself, when no one was there to help wrap his wounds? Shadowheart quickly returns with all of the bandage wraps she has.

"We have to clean it or it'll get infected."

"Well, Shadowheart, I don't know how you think you're going to clean it if Tav bleeds to death."

The two healers decide it's best if he handles this himself. While he obsessively wraps your arm, the rest of the camp watches on, knowing he's too possessive to let them help. He doesn't trust them like he trusts you.

And I trusted you to stay put.

There's no way to give you more blood, not in a way that would work for you. For a moment, he simply thinks that he'll feed you some of his blood, and then he remembers. All he can do is hope you retained enough, that he didn't preemptively kill you by feeding on you tonight. Your pulse is still going, but it's slow, and you're paler than usual.

Astarion begins to think to himself, asking why he ever fell in love, why he ever let himself think twice about you. It's easy to play the game when you have nothing to lose. Second thoughts, always, he's always thinking for two people now. It's been his survival, for as long as he can remember, and now you're lodged in his brain.

"Damn you Tav, I can't do this. I can't lose you like this."

He begins to sob as he holds you, still unconscious. This beckons Gale to come over, often a voice of reason for the vampire.

"You've done all you can. Perhaps we should get Tav back inside? Away from the elements?"

Astarion is too distraught to argue, helping Gale carry you back into the tent.

"The second Shadowheart is awake, she'll be back to check on Tav."

"Yeah, if they don't die from blood loss in the middle of the night."

Gale simply sighs, knowing there's no point in fighting with him. He leaves your pale lover to wallow in his misery. Hours pass, you're still clinging on, and Astarion watches over you, panicking every time he can't see your chest rise and fall, constantly checking your pulse. You're cold, your heartbeat dangerously slow, and he keeps wracking his brain about what else he could possibly do. But there's nothing, only fate, only the gods. He sadly chuckles to himself at the thought of even trying to pray, knowing there's no higher power out there, at least one that cares about him.

"W... what are you... laughing at?"

You ask weakly, oblivious to the horrific stress he's been through. Astarion whips around quickly, wondering if perhaps he's imagining your voice. When he sees your eyes fluttering, lost somewhere between dreams and reality, he rushes to your side.

"Oh gods Tav... you- you really scared me there."

He tries to hold back tears, failing miserably. You try to speak again, but groan in pain as the feeling in your arm starts to come back.

"I know, I know it hurts. It's okay my darling, you'll be alright."

He begins fully sobbing, and you have no idea why, without being awake enough to comprehend the situation. Astarion always tries to be strong when you're weak, but watching you teeter on the line between life and death, it was simply too much to bear.

"You can't pull that shit, ever again my love, I'm so serious. I know I'm normally quite serious, but ever more so right now."

Then, a joyful, tiny laugh. Happiness. Happy that you're alive. The memories of the fight slowly start coming back, the beast that ripped up your arm, Astarion yelling.

"Aster...?"

"Yes my dear?"

You start to tear up a little, still a tad delirious.

"I'm sorry."

And then remembers as well, the things he said, the tone he spoke to you in.

"No, no my love I'm sorry. You weren't yourself, I was being entirely unreasonable. I just..."

He almost can't finish his sentence.

"I'm just happy you're okay. That's enough for me."

Your lover slowly and carefully lays down beside you, pulling you into him, being sure not to let your wounded arm drag on the ground. He holds you for a long time, until Shadowheart wakes at dawn, fully rested and ready to fix your wounds. Astarion vows silently that he'll never let it come that close, ever again.

[vivian-pascal]

Rainy days ║chapter 3║

when the clouds begin to leak.

dbf!joel x f!reader

summary: Joel can sense your uneasiness from what you guys have been doing, wondering if you should even call you two a thing, when you ask him about it, the out-most worst happens, rejection.

warnings: sexual tension, description of reader in bikini, description of reader coming out of the pool, unspecified age gap, angst, mention of reader crying, piv (wrap it up),nipple play,dirty talk joel

When you wake up the next morning, you couldn't help this pondering feeling in your gut. Like you did something wrong. It hadn't necessarily felt wrong in the moment, but now that it hits you that Sarah was right across the hall and you were mingling with her father, that just ain't right.

You plan to spend the whole day with her to make up for it, she won't know of course, but it'll make you feel much better.

You sit up and kick the blankets away. Walking over to your closet, you grab a pair of slippers and head for downstairs.

Sarah is sitting on the couch with a bowl of what you assume is cereal, and your dad is in the kitchen brewing up some of his usual morning coffee.

"Hey sweetie, how'd you sleep?" You face instantly goes red at the thoughts of last night. "Oh, uhm pretty good. How about you?" you brought your hand to the back of your neck and gave Sarah a quick side smile. "I slept fine honey"

He puts down his coffee mug and looks out the back window. When you hear the sliding door open, you quickly look away. "Hey, uh, dad, i'm just gonna go for a swim." You look over at Sarah. "Wanna come?" She gets up excitedly and walks over to you. "Sure!"

You two walk upstairs and hurriedly get changed. You jump into your skimpy little bathing suit and rush downstairs and out the back door. When warm, winter air hits your skin. It's like a new sense of relaxation. You breathe in the fresh air and giggle at Sarah.

You grab a towel from the kitchen table and put it on your lounge chair outside. You walk over to the pool and put your foot in it. You cringe as the cold water makes contact with your toes. "Oh, its chilly Sarah." She rolls her eyes. "Cmon, don't be such a puss, it ain't that bad." She runs up to the pool and dives in with a big splash. Hitting you with water as she collides into the pool.

"Sarah!" You scream as she comes up for air and sticks her tongue out. "Fine then, i'll just go and lounge since i'm such a 'puss.'" She scoffs and begins to swim around. You walk over to your lounge chair and sit down.

A few minutes had passed with you taking in the somewhat warm winter air. You look over when you hear the sliding door open and it's just your dad. "Hey dad." He looks at you and gives a smile. "How's the water?" He looks down at Sarah swimming and puts his towel on the pool side railing.

"It's not too bad, just a little bit chilly." He removes his shirt and walks in by the stairs. When he's fully in the pool, he waves you over. "Cmon in! It ain't bad." You roll your eyes and turn away. "It's cold dad." You hear Sarah mumble something but pay no attention to what she actually said.

"Fine, i'll come in." Your dad and Sarah both cheer as you get up from your chair. You walk over to the side and sit down. You swing your legs in the pool and watch as Sarah swims over to you. You can't even process what's about to happen when suddenly, Sarah grabs your arm and you lurch forward into the pool.

When you come up for air, you smooth your hair down and curse at Sarah. "What the fuck! I could've drowned." She laughs and splashes water at your face. You lift yourself out of the pool and of course Joel has to come out at that time.

Seeing your wet hair, small bikini enough to see your nipples peaking through, the water dripping down from your skin, the way the little particles of liquid would run down the crevice between your breasts and thighs. It made him instantly hard. He had to physically cover himself.

You begin your journey back to your chair and sit down. "Hey Joel, care to join us?" Your dad smirks at Joel and begins to swim to the edge of the pool. "Oh, uhm, I don't think so right now. T'is a bit cold, dontcha think?" Your dad shakes his head and looks over at you. "Don't be such a bum like her, she's been whining about how cold it is." Joel's eyes follow his gaze to you but quickly inverts them.

"Thanks but, I think i'm good." He sits down in his chair and lies back, his towel covers his crotch and his beer lies next to him.

About an hour goes by with you in the sun and trying to ignore Joel's wandering eyes. You start to get a little hot and sweaty so you sit up and take your sunglasses off. Joel's still in his chair and your pretty sure he's asleep.

You're feeling a little wild so you stand up and call over to your dad who's still in the pool with Sarah. "I think i'll come in now, i'm hot!" Joel perks his head up and fixes his shades. He looks at you and his jaw ticks. You walk over to the stairs that are directly in front of him.

You insert your foot into the chilly water, making sure Joel gets a good view of your ass before you fully submerge into the pool. You go over to Sarah and talk with her for a bit before you both get out and walk to your chairs.

"I'm gonna go inside and grab a drink, ya want one?" She shakes her head yes and you walk to the door. When inside, you walk to the fridge and open it. You cringe as the cold air hits you. You suddenly freeze when you feel two warm hands on your bare wasit.

"Joel." You whisper as he brings his lips to your neck. "What the fuck are you doing." He begins to trail his fingers up and down your torso. "Your killin me in this baby." His finger goes under your bottom strap and pulls it outward until it snaps back onto your skin. You close your eyes and bite your jaw.

"Not now, your daughter and my dad are not even twenty feet away." You couldn't even believe what was happening. How could you even get him so riled up? Were you two even a "thing"? No you couldn't be, how would that work?

You hear Sarah's voice and push back into Joel in hopes to escape. That only makes things worse. Your ass made contact with his crotch and he groaned at the feeling. You could feel how hard he was. It was like a brick to your ass. Must be painful.

You turn around and push him aside. The slide door opens and you close it while making eye contact with Joel as he stills in the kitchen.

"Here ya go Sarah." You hand her the drink and she greedily accepts it. Your dad exits the pool and begins to dry off. "It's gettin late, time for dinner." He opens the slide door and you and Sarah follow. Joel has already gone upstairs and you head up too.

You walk into your room and close the door. You take off your wet swim suit and hang it on the edge of your bed. You decided on some leggings and a sweater. You put your hair up and into a bun.

Once changed, you head downstairs and wait for Sarah. You hear footsteps on the stairs as she walks towards you. She slumps down on the couch and closes her eyes.

Your dad comes down and goes straight to the kitchen."I was thinking we could get take-out? Chinese?" You nod and smile at him as Sarah proceeds to turn the TV on. Joel is still upstairs and you wonder what he's doing up there. All alone.

Your dad orders the food and sits on the couch with you and Sarah. A few minutes go by as you watch your show, your dad gets a message and picks up his phone to see who it was. "Seems like food is ready, wanna come get it with me?" He pats your thigh as he gets up. "Oh i'll come! We need to stop by the store." Sarah gets up from the couch and heads over to the front door. She begins to put on the sneakers as your dad grabs his keys. "I'll stay here, I need to shower anyways." You smile at them both as your dad unlocks the door and waves goodbye.

You sit alone for a while, almost forgetting Joel was there with you. You were brought back to reality with the sound of footsteps.

You look up and see Joel. He looks disheveled. His hair is a mess, he's in his pajamas, he's rubbing one eye with a fist when he makes direct contact with you.

"Where'd the others go?" God, his raspy voice only indicates that he most definitely was asleep.

You quickly clear your throat as you begin to stand up. "Oh, um, they went to pick up some food and to the grocery store." He nods as you stand there awkwardly.

He begins to walk toward you. He gets so close. His hand comes up to your waist and the other to the side of your head. Just the way he looks at you makes you feel so small. It's like a trance. He can make you do anything he wants. He's so fixated on you. Those deep, brown eyes,

He begins to lean down and kiss you. His hand removes itself from your waist and goes to the back of your head. He pulls you even closer to deepen the kiss. His lips are soft and gentle, you close your eyes and wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. Once you two part, he looks at you and once more leans down. His mouth collides with yours as he moves his hands to your waist.

When you part once more, you look up at him and stroke his cheek. "Hey Joel?" You whisper as he leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. "Yes sweetheart?" You breathe in deeply and tilt his head up with your finger. "Are we a thing?" He pauses and looks at the floor. Something clicks in him then.

Seeing your body react to everything he does. You would do absolutely anything for him, it's wrong, it's so wrong. He knows he shouldn't but how could he resist you? Your perfect and smart and stunning. You make him feel something he hasn't felt in years. Love.

He's in love with you and it scares him. He doesn't want to hurt you, he will never hurt you, but that one thought that lingers in his brain stays with him, and when you asked that question, he was horrified.

He backs up from you and stands a few feet away. "Joel?" You begin to walk closer to him but he only backs away. "No. I-, don't." He shakes his head and looks at you. "Joel what's wrong?" He can hear the quivering of your voice and it kills him.

"This is wrong, I never thought it'd go this far." He walks over to the kitchen and rests his elbows on the counter. You clear your throat before speaking again. "Joel what on earth are you talking about?" You walk back to the side of the kitchen and stand there. He shakes his head and rubs his eyes. "I shouldn't have done what i did that night, I never realized you wanted to, you know, be a thing. I thought it'd just be that night and then it would be over." He looks up at you and your shocked.

Tears immediately start falling from your face. You bring your hand to your eyes and try to rub them away. "So you're calling this" You motion at you and Joel with your hands. "a mistake?" He nods his head slowly and you begin to laugh. "Was all this just a little bit of fun for you Joel? Did you enjoy teasing me because I was that vulnerable to you?" You look him in the eyes and run your hand through your hair. "Your pathetic Joel, If you wanted some little hooker that you could help get off with than just go on the fucking street and get one."

"Hey, I never wanted to just use you to see you get off okay? It's just, it only happened once and I didn't think you'd take it this seriously and wanna continue what we were doin." He stands up and begins to walk to the end of the counter. "Can you look at me please?" You look over at him and rub your eyes. "You expect me to look you in the fucking eyes when you just admitted that you only thought it was going to happen once? Joel, how stupid are you. Open your goddamn brain, it's not just gonna happen once, you can't just catch someone fucking themselves, tease them constantly, physically help them get off, and then end it. It's not how that works Joel."

He makes his way over to you and stands in front of you once more. "Look, you were never somethin that I could control, you were never some toy,it's just." He pauses and looks you in the eyes. "Just what Joel?" He closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

"I, I'm scared okay? You're beautiful and perfect and just everything I'm not. Ever since I heard you were coming home from college, I was horrified." Your brows furrow at his statement. "I didn't want to pick you up from the airport, I didn't want to invite you into my home, I didn't want to go on this vacation, but I did, because I wanted to spend time with you. Alone. My heart feels like it melts every time I see you, and when you speak to me, I'm scared I won't be able to take it anymore. Your voice is like a melody I can't follow. You're so young and I'm old sugar. You shouldn't be seein me or whatever this is because it's wrong. I want to believe it's bad but I can't. I'm in love with you. I'm scared i'll break your heart and you don't deserve that."

He takes a deep breath in and swallows. You're in shock. Joel Miller is in love with you. In fucking love. You repeat the words over and over again in your head. He could he? You're half his age, his daughters best friend for fucks sake, yet, you feel this sense of love around him too.

When you first laid eyes on him when you were younger, you knew it was going to be bad. You tried avoiding him but it wouldn't work. You're in love with him too and you know it. You want him so bad but what about Sarah? She can't know, she'll kill you for it and most definitely beat up Joel for it. And your dad? He would kill both of you.

You look him in the eyes and instantly lunge onto him. You smash your lips against him and he grunts at the sudden attack. You hold your forehead against his and kiss him hard. He tries to keep up with the pace but you're just moving so fast. You part your lips from his and take a deep breath.

"Joel, I love you too. I never meant to accuse you I was just mad, I'm sorry." You once more grab onto his cheeks and yank him down for a kiss. He slowly pulls away and tries to calm you down. "Woah there sugar, take some deep breaths." You whine as he begins to carry you upstairs. "Joel please. I need you." "I know darlin. I hear ya."

You run your fingers through his hair as he opens the door to his bedroom. He closes it behind him and locks it. He carries you over to the bed and softly places you down. He crawls onto top of you and rests his forehead against yours.

"There's no goin back after this darlin." You open your eyes and look at him. "I know Joel, I want this, I want you." He groans at the statement and molds his lips with yours. His lips are soft and rough at the same time. You bite onto his bottom lip as his tongue asks for access to your mouth. You let him in and he laps at the inside of your mouth.

You hear a quiet ping from your phone and you reach into your pocket to grab it. Joel moves his mouth down your neck and begins to kitten lick your collar bone. You answer the phone and put your hand on Joel's head. "Hey dad, what's up?" Joel sits up and swiftly removes his shirt. You have to stop yourself from moaning at the bare sight. His clean, tanned skin is only mere inches from you.

"Oh okay, have fun!" You hang up and throw your phone somewhere on the bed. Joel crawls up to your face once more and gives you a little peck on your nose. "What'd he want?" His fingers dance along the edges of your shirt as you try and remember what he had told you.

"Him and Sarah found a nice park to eat the food, he thought I was asleep and he didn't think you'd wanna come that's why we aren't with them." He smirks as he helps you remove your shirt.

"I think i'd much rather be here than eatin Chinese in some park." You giggle at his remark and unclasp your bra. His eyes go a whole shade darker. He groans at the sight of your bare breasts and immediately latches his mouth onto one.

He begins to suckle and bite the little nub and you moan aloud. "Oh God Joel." You pull his hair closer and open your mouth in pleasure. His other hand comes to your breast and replaces his mouth with his fingers. He then moves onto your other boob and begins working his same magic as he did the second.

The pleasure your feeling is different. All your past lovers were never into this type of stuff so you never really understood it.

"Joel please." He looks up at you and smirks. He then trails his fingers to the edge of your pants and yanks them down. He throws them across the room along with your underwear.

He has to stop himself from coming right then and there. He's face to face with your bare, dripping cunt and he is feral. He removes his jeans and yanks your thighs over his shoulders. He slowly inserts a finger and begins to move it faster. He then adds another and you moan in pleasure. He circles his thumb over your clit and you fall apart right there.

"Good girl, such a good girl f'me." He praises you as your orgasm subsides. He then lines himself up and slowly begins to insert the tip."Ya good?" You nod your head as you grab onto the sheets. He fully thrusts into you and groans when he's seethed inside your cunt.

"Oh my God Joel, you're huge." He smirks and closes his eyes. "Too much f'ya? We can stop if you want." You almost cry when he says that. You never want this to stop. "No, Joel, move please."

He begins to thrust slowly into you and he groans at the feeling. "So fuckin tight baby." You moan as his tip hits every spot inside you just perfectly. You grab his cheeks and pull him down for a kiss. He moves his hips in a soft rhythm and you moan into his mouth. His pace begins to speed up. He wishes he could take his time with you, he would devour every piece of your body till you couldn't take it anymore. He'd worship you. He wishes he could right now but your dad and his daughter would be home soon. He couldn't risk it.

His pace begins to falter as you squeeze him. "Are you close sugar?" You nod as he slowly begins to caress your clit. You feel the start to your orgasm and you think this is the fastest a man has ever made you come. He moves his hips faster as you moan aloud in pleasure."Fuck, darlin, where'd ya want me?" You moan at the overstimulation and close your eyes. "Inside Joel."

He thrusts even faster as hot loads of come begin to spurt inside you, coating your velvety walls. He falls forward and onto your belly. "Jesus." You smile as he begins to get his breath. He holds his head up and looks at you. He gives you a quick kiss before running down to the bathroom.

He comes back into the room with a wash cloth and some ibuprofen. He sets the pills next to you on the night stand and begins to spread your legs. "You okay?" He looks up at you and he begins to soothe your sore skin. "Yeah, that was great." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Sure was."

He removes the towel and throws it into his laundry basket. He then gets into bed next to you and pulls the cover over. You huddle into his side and lie on his chest. "Joel?" He looks down at you and strokes your head. "Yes sugar?" You look up at him and take a deep breath. "What are we gonna do now? How will things work? I mean, this can't work can it?" He shushes you with a soft kiss and smooths your hair back.

"We will figure things out, don't worry darlin okay?" You nod your head and lie back down. He kisses your forehead and you close your eyes. He strokes your hair as you feel his chest rise up and down. You quickly sit up when you hear the front door open. Joel immediately gets out of bed and grabs your clothes. He throws them to you while he gets his jeans on. You only put your shirt on as you rush out of his room and into yours.

You quickly shut the door and rest against it. You hear a knock on your door and you throw your pants onto your bed.

"Hey!!" You look at Sarah and smile as you open the door. "How was the food?" She looks at you and chuckles. "It was soooo good! We brought some back for you and Joel too." You smirk at her as she begins to look at your shirt. Her eyes trail down to your legs and they widen entirely. She begins to cover her mouth as you look down as well.

When you make eye contact with what she is seeing, you're shocked.

Your eyes go wide when you see the little white droplets coming down from in between your legs. You raise your head in fear and she looks at you with horror. Her mouth is covered as to not scream and she shakes her head. You swiftly smile at her as you close the door.

Fuck.

tags!!

@iamsherlocked @pinkcrystal44 @heartpascalispunk  @heartramen @tupelomiss @simplewanderer @ursagittariusgirlfriend @amyispxnk @livingonthehems

[themusedump]

The Horror And The Wild - a sentence meme from The Amazing Devil's 2020 album The Horror And The Wild. Feel free to adjust as needed!

The Rockrose And The Thistle

"I know the kindest thing is to leave you alone."

"I've run out of my words, my song."

"Just let me die."

"I could try to calm you down but I know you won't."

"And you'll wail, you'll scream, but I'll never stop 'cause it's all that I have left. "

"I know the kindest thing is to never leave you alone."

The Horror And The Wild

"They said it all comes down to you."

"You are that space that's in between every page, every chord and every screen."

"You are the driftwood and the rift, you're the words that I promise I don't mean."

"We're drunk but drinking."

"They thought us blind."

"Remember me I ask, remember me I sing."

"Give me back my heart you wingless thing."

"Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring."

"You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child."

"I steal the hours and turn the night into day."

"How bold I was, could be - will be - still am, by God still am."

"Remember me I ask."

Wild Blue Yonder

"Without you, I'm stronger."

"How wrong you were."

"You told me I was younger, that I was filled with wonder."

"For you. I would have gone so much blonder."

"So one last time, love, come and rip my clothes off."

"Get a grip, we're grownups."

"Let's wander, till the fuckers demand an encore."

"So hold me, lover, like you used to."

"Every stone you threw, I stood on to better see the view."

"I surrender what was, what could have been."

"Every brick you hurled, I'll use to build this world."

"I'd bruise you."

Welly Boots

"A storm is coming on."

"What do you mean you've lost your scarlet welly boots?"

"Do y'know what they cost?"

"Wear a raincoat or it'll soak you to the bone."

"It's just like falling snow, I am above you and I love you."

"Don't you know that I'll be with you all along, as long as you are kind?"

"'Cause when it's cold, I'll wrap my scarf around you."

"Just because I left doesn't mean that I'm not still there."

"I get to watch you grow up now and make me proud."

"Get drunk for me, sing louder than you've sung for me."

"'Cause you were always strong."

"When you were young, you'd kick things just to see if they would fall."

"That girl, she's wrong"

"I'll stick up for you, even though you haven't got a clue."

"You haven't got a fucking clue."

"And I'm so proud of you."

"I'm not alright!"

"You were supposed to be my light and keep me safe against them all!"

"How could you leave me here!?"

"I know you're strong enough to do this on your own."

"I've been so scared."

"You left me here behind, do you not care?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to carry on without you here?"

Farewell Wanderlust

"You look like I need a drink."

"And you are?"

"I'm the hardest goodbye that you'll ever have to say."

"I promise you I'll be better."

"I promise you I'll try."

"It's my curse to try and make it right, but by trying make it worse."

"You brought me to this party but you left me here behind."

"So long to the person you begged me to be."

"You gave us such a fright. We'd hate to see your mascara drip into your pint."

"Let's take this outside 'cause we're one and the same."

"Our gods have abandoned us, left us."

"Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead."

"I promise you I'm not broken."

"I promise you there's more. "

"Goodbye to all my darkness, there's nothing here but light."

"Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night."

"You brought me through this darkness but you left me here behind."

"Now take a good long look at what you've done to me!"

Fair

"It's what my heart just yearns to say in ways that can't be said."

"Today I somehow understand the reason I was born."

"I try so hard to make you laugh at me."

"Oh, darling, please be mine."

"It's not fair how much I love you."

"It's not fair, 'cause you make me laugh when I'm actually really fucking cross at you for something."

"How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do."

"I spend my days so close to you 'cause if I'm standing here, maybe everyone will think I'm alright."

"I know exactly what I want and it's this life that we've created."

"And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all."

"Christ, you'll be the death of me."

"I'll spend my days so close to you 'cause if I'm standing here maybe everyone will think I'm cool."

"Where have you been?"

"It's not fair 'cause you make me ache, you bastard."

"I'll stand here with you."

That Unwanted Animal

"There's a second wind coming."

"You try so loud to love me. I cannot seem to hear."

"Can't you hear that scratching? There's something at the door."

"Be good to me."

"Can't you hear it?"

"What's the time Mr .Wolf?"

Marbles

"You couldn't lie then and you sure as hell can't lie to me now."

"You stole the best years of my life."

"Do you think I'm sexy?"

"If one more guy calls me darling then I swear to you and to God I will murder them all."

"All the bastards applaud when I show that I'm flawed."

"You're not flawed darling, you're just a little under-rehearsed."

"I don't know, but I'm here."

"I've loved you, for a hundred years."

"Certainly fucking feels like it."

"The minute I met you, the colours of my life began to pour."

"I'm scared of the dark."

"And now, even though you're mad and these memories won't stay. That's okay."

"'Cause then I get to meet you for the first time every single day."

"And I will wait and hope."

Battle Cries

"I'm at the brink, don't laugh."

"And that drink, will it fix all those questions unasked?"

"Who'll save you when you fall?"

"Who died and made you king of it all?"

"Who wins this war?"

"Now the wind feels so warm on the back of my neck."

"Don't be uncouth, be a man."

"Tell the truth to me, love, does my hair look as nice?"

"Don't lie with your eyes, you know I despise that look."

"I know that I've been through the wars."

"With you, I could summon the gods and the stars."

"I won't leave without a fight."

"I won't let you turn our last night into this."

[msnanu]

Life Twist 05 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren’t expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤��𝘢𝘪��𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK’s noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 7.5K+

⏤ author’s note❧ This has been my favorite chapter to write as of now! I🤸🏼😍 As always, hope you enjoy this new chapter and let me know your thoughts on it. Have a great week loves, and thank you so much for reading!! 💜

Fuck. I look awful. You think to yourself while watching your own reflection on the bathroom mirror

Anyone could see a mile away those dark circles and puffiness of your eyes, it's obvious that you didn't sleep last night. So, you decide to apply some concealer to try your best not to look like a walking zombie.

You were nervous of going downstairs and face your friends. You feel embarrassed that maybe last night's scandal, the night was most likely ruined for everyone and even though you weren't the culprit that created the issue, you feel like you did your own contribution to it after screaming like crazy to Lina and crying in front of everyone.

Voices were heard coming from the kitchen while you were coming down the stairs. At least they all seemed to be talking as if nothing happened.

Knowing that Lina is out of the picture is a huge calmer for you, the air on the house feels lighter already.

Your best friend had texted you last night after he went to check on you and saw you sleeping - his exact words being 'Babe, the house has been exorcised, the blond demon has been kicked out' - he sent over to you, in hopes that it'll make you feel better as soon as you read it, which it did.

When you entered the kitchen, you saw from a far that everyone was starting to eat breakfast on the same dining table where everything unveiled last night - including Jungkook who looked like a zombie, just like you - you said a shy 'Good morning, guys' while walking towards them.

Everyone's head spined to where you were standing, and you could already see the pitiful looks towards you. Taehyung was the first to talk while he got up and grabbed you engulfing you in a warm hug 'I'm glad to see you here, we all are' he said while you couldn't help but to smile at his sweetness.

'Thanks Tae. I actually wanted to tell you something guys'

Their attention is solely on you, and you feel their worried faces as if they're thinking you’re going to start crying any time sooner, but you're not... you already cried to much yesterday on your room.

A little tired of the pitiful looks you say while sighing 'Please, don't look at me as if I'm made out of glass, I'm not going to break, I promise' and you see Chris smiling sweetly towards you and nodding like if he's saying a silent 'Go on'

'And...um, I'm very sorry about last night, most of you didn't knew that my dad had passed away last year and that sweater I was wearing was his, that's the reason why I bursted out like that. I feel like I kind of contributed to ruin everyone's night an-' you were interrupted by Namjoon's words

'Y/N stop please, you don't owe us any kind of apology or explanation. You're our friend and you didn't ruin anyone's night, Lina did. And as Tae said before, we're all just glad to see you here so, sit and enjoy your breakfast with us' he said while offering a comforting smile showing off those pretty dimples as always.

'Okay' you say as you sit down on one of the empty chairs right next to Aria who also hugs you as soon as you sit.

'Jimin has a surprise for you, sweetie' she says all mysterious and then she looks at Jimin who gets up and goes towards the family room. You furrow your eyebrows not understanding what's going on. Once he comes back, you recognize your dad's sweater on his hands. With no stains, no marks, perfect as it was before the blond demon threw the kimchi bowl on top of it.

Your eyes widened as Jimin put the sweater right in front of you and said 'It looks good as new' while giving you one of those beautiful smiles of him that makes his eyes disappear.

You jumped of your chair to hug Jimin that almost lost his balance, and he chuckled while he returned the hug.

Once you finished hugging him you said with so much happiness 'Oh my god, Jimin. How did you do this?'

'Chris came to me yesterday’ and you take a quick look over to where your best friend is, he looks so happy to see you smile and you say, ‘Thank you, bestie’ while he just winks at you. Then you go back to Jimin and say ‘This is amazing, I don’t know how you did it to make it look so perfect, Jimin’

‘You'd be surprised of my many talents' he simply says shrugging his shoulders acting all cocky.

'I really thought it was completely ruined; you don't even know how much this means to me. Thank you so much' and you hug him tightly again which he returns once again and says 'You don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for. Now come on, let's eat breakfast, I'm starving' while you both chuckle a little bit and take your sits to finally start eating breakfast while you all chit chat about anything but last night's events. 

Well, all but Jungkook who's lost in his thoughts, you catch him looking towards you a few times. He looked really sad, but you are hurt and by now, you have too many doubts about him. So, you decide to ignore him for now. Sooner or later, you know you'll have to talk to him. But not now, now you'll just enjoy being with this wonderful group of friends.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

A few hours later you were chilling on the bridge by the lake, just a few steps from the cottage, with Emma and Aria while getting some vitamin D into your system with the help of the sunny day.

You talked for a while about tonight, the guys wanted to do a bonfire, Yoongi suggested doing a barbecue outside and drinks by the lake, which sounded amazing to your ears.

The only thing bothering you was Jungkook, Lina was already out of your lives, but you felt like you couldn't enjoy 100% yet, and you suspected it had to do with the fact that since you got here, you haven't been able to enjoy with the person that you most wanted to be with since the beginning, JK.

Luckily, it seemed like JK respected your decision and didn’t talk to you but all day long you could see he was as miserable as you were. 

You closed your eyes while trying to take some rest of your thoughts when suddenly a shadow starts robbing you the sun that was warming up your skin

'If you're ready, I think you should talk to JK. He looks awful since he came downstairs’ said your best friend

Is he a mind reader? I was just thinking about that. It’s like your best friend can read you like a magazine

'I was actually thinking about that. I think I'll talk with him now'

'K, I just saw him, he's on the family room laying on the sofa. All the guys are outside so, you two can have your privacy'

'No need to give us privacy tho, you were all there witnessing everything yesterday and you're my friends so, I can talk whatever it is in front of you' you say

Chris nodded and then said 'Okay, then I'll be in the kitchen with Jimin, if you need me to kick JK's ass I'll be just a scream away'

You chuckled while you got up and headed towards the family room with Chris and Jimin. Chris winked at you and gave you a thumbs up while going to the kitchen along with Jimin who had preoccupied look.

Jungkook was indeed laying on the sofa with his phone, he didn't even realize you were there until you made your way right in front of him. His eyes widened as soon as he saw you, but he didn't say anything.

'I think we should talk now, if you're feel like you’re up to it' you said with your heart beating faster than ever, you were really nervous and his Bambi eyes that looked exhausted didn't help, you just wanted to give in and hug him, but no, part of yesterday’s events are his responsibility – you keep reminding to yourself - you have to focus Y/N

'Yeah, of course, sure... let's talk' JK said with his sweet voice.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

'You could have warned him a little bit before sending Y/N to talk to him… don’t you think? I'm sure you know the best way to patch things up with Y/N' said a worried Jimin to your best friend while waiting on the kitchen

'Warn him? She's like 7 inches smaller than him. It's not like she's going to kill him. Besides, what's the fun on warning him? I already gave him enough advantage. Any other guy that would made her cry would normally receive a nice ass beating from me so, in any case he should be thankful. Plus, I know these two like the back of my hand, Y/N is going to eat him alive as soon as he says the wrong thing' said Chris while giggling like a little kid.

Jimin was looking at him with furrowed eyebrows now. 'Um... I'm not fully understanding, do you want them to fix things up or do you want them to keep fighting?'

'Of course, I want them to fix things up. I'm friends with both and I love them. But JK did made a mistake, and he needs someone to put him in place. Turns out that Y/N is perfect for that job, and she also needs it. You know, Y/N is normally like a teddy bear but when she gets mad... oh boy, you should run' said Chris while chuckling at Jimin who was now perplexed.

'You have a really weird way to show that you love your friends, you know that?'

'Love is love. In any way it's manifested' said Chris while winking at Jimin.

'If you say so' the reason why Jimin was worried it’s because he knew JK, he knew he might fuck up because he tends to be impulsive when he’s fighting someone and says the first thing that come through his brain without filtering.

Your best friend seeing Jimin's worried features, put a hand on his shoulder and reassured him 'Hey - trust me, they need to get the frustration out of their system first, they're going to be okay' while Jimin silently nodded.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

‘So...' you start your conversation lingering over because you're not sure what to say.

'So...' JK repeats nervously after you, he's now sitting on the sofa while you’re sitting in front of him on a small little table. 

'Um… okay. First, I wanted to thank you for respecting my decision of not talking to me' you saw JK nodding with his head.

'You were hurt, I understand that you didn't want to talk to me. I'm not gonna lie, it stinged like hell because the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you' said Jungkook while looking down with sad eyes.

'Then why did you invite Lina?'

'I was told that you were coming with Minho. I was fucking jealous, and I somehow ended up inviting her to make you feel jealous too' he confessed feeling embarrassed as hell, but it also felt like a weight had been lifted of him

Well, Emma’s assumptions were correct. He wanted to make you feel jealous and boy... he had accomplished that without a doubt

You nodded at him and responded 'I honestly imagined that it was to make me jealous'

'So? Did it work?' JK said finally smiling at you, you missed that smile

'Yes, it did' you said rolling your eyes. His smile became wider, like if he was proud of being able to make you jealous. And you both chuckle.

Then you get a little serious and continue 'Sadly, I got hurt thanks to that, both physically and emotionally'

Then JK's smile dropped. He sighed while saying 'I'm sorry for bringing Lina, I never thought she was capable of doing such things'

'To be fair, I don't think anyone could expect someone being such an awful human being' you say while he just hums in affirmation, it seems like he is thinking about something and then he talks again

'You know what bothers me the most?' asks you Jungkook suddenly

'What is it?'

'What bothers me insanely is that all of this could have been avoided so easily'

'What do you mean?' you say furrowing your eyebrows, not quite following where's he's going with his comment

'I mean if you had told me sooner that you broke up with Minho, I would have canceled Lina's invitation here and things would have been totally different'

'Aaaaaaaaand there it is - he shouldn't have said that - wait for it, she'll be eating him like a snack' says Chris to Jimin while laughing

They were both hearing and watching everything from the kitchen in case things went south. Jimin hits his forehead with his hand, while saying over to Chris 'He's an idiot' and he's now more worried than ever about Jungkook because by the looks of your face you didn't like at all his comment. 

And Jimin was right, because you couldn't believe Jungkook's nerve, you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

Is he really trying to turn the guilt towards you just because you didn't tell him sooner that you broke up with Minho? This is ridiculous

'Excuse me? Are you somehow trying to put the blame on me for your own decisions?' your tone wasn't amicable anymore, that's for sure

Jungkook rolled his eyes, and you were 10 seconds away from strangling him when he responded 'I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying... if I knew that you weren't coming with Minho then I wouldn't have invited Lina'

'Wouldn't it have been much more reasonable that you just acted as an adult and didn't pull the stupidest thing just to try make me jealous?' you bark at him

'There you go, I was waiting to see when you were gonna pull the adult shit thing, we are only 4 years apart from each other, okay? So, stop talking to me as if I were a kid' the way he responded you could easily sense he was getting worked up too. But you couldn’t care less, you were outraged at his attitude. 

'Then stop acting like one' you simply responded raising one of your eyebrows at him and crossing your arms across your chest

That's it, Jungkook was done of taking all the blame and you talking to him like a little kid.

'You know what? I don't even know why I’m still talking to you. I already said I'm sorry for what happened but I'm not responsible of Lina's behavior'

Is he for real? Oh my god I'm gonna kill him - it was all you could think of

'You are responsible for her coming here. That's enough for me'

'Okay then you are just blind as fuck, you just want to blame it all on me' 

At this point you weren't talking anymore in a normal tone, you were almost screaming at each other. That's when you get up of where you were sitting and he repeats the same action, standing tall in front of you, both are looking to each other’s eyes with the most intense gaze, and you continue to respond at him.

'And who the fuck should I be blaming if not you? I repeat, YOU are the solely reason of her being here. Ugh, you know what, it was clearly a mistake even giving you a chance to explain yourself' you say already getting tired of discussing.

'You are just being stubborn and petty' he said with the coldest tone ever.

That's it, you'll kick his sorry ass

'What did you just said to me?' you say angrily while getting quickly closer until you're 1 cm from his face.

From a far Chris was laughing hysterically at JK's sudden scared face. You are intimidating and fearless when it comes to this. Anyone who would get in a fight with you, regretted it immediately because you are the kind of person who doesn't back off easily, especially when you're convinced that you did nothing wrong.

'K, that's it, you had your fun, we should go separate them before Y/N kicks his ass' said Jimin over to Chris who couldn't stop laughing.

'Don't worry I got it' said your best friend going towards you and JK.

'Okay okay okay, you both cut it out. I see you made a great progress, kids' said ironically Chris while you both rolled your eyes at him

'This was a waste of time' you say and go outside to get some fresh air and cool a little bit

JK just watched you go while sighing and rubbing his temples. He somehow thought that things couldn't get worse with you, but it did.

'So, first fight with Y/N. Congrats, you've survived! On a 1 to 10 scale where 1 is 'I'm not even sweating' and 10 is 'I shitted my pants when I saw her getting angry' how do you feel?'

'Definitely a 10' said JK feeling almost defeated.

'Don't worry Jungkookie, you'll work this out. She might be scary when she's mad but she's also the most awesome person I know when she's not. Also... it’s kinda difficult not to get angry at you based on the talk you two had' said Chris chuckling. The bastard is surely enjoying this.

'I'm not sure if we'll work it out, we were supposed to work it out now and look how it ended' 

'Maybe you both just needed to talk freely even though you ended up getting angry. You should hear Chris, he knows Y/N' said Jimin to try and calm the youngest.

'Maybe tonight with a few drinks in, you'll both get calmer and be able to talk normally. Don't worry about it,’ said Chris

And Jungkook tried to listen to Chris and Jimin's advice. After all, Chris is your best friend and knows you well enough, if he says it’s gonna be okay, then it's probably gonna be that way. But he still feels bummed out. He needs to make things right with you. He'll make it right tonight, no matter what it takes.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

The night had come, and you all were sitting around the bonfire talking while Yoongi and Joey were a few steps farther working on the barbecue. You were sitting beside Chris drinking your second glass of Soju while Jungkook was on the opposite side of you between Jimin and Jin.

You didn't cross any words with JK after your last discussion. How could he call you stubborn and petty?

He was in no position of behaving that way towards you, especially after all the bad situations that you had to go through yesterday, all because a childish girl that he had invited.

You were busy with your thoughts when you suddenly notice something small and blackish moving on the grass not too far from you. It can't be, right? You haven't seen any bug almost since you got here... the weather it's not even humid or hot.

You need to confirm if your suspicions are right and there's no freaking way, you'll ever get close to that thing moving so, you whisper already with a trembling voice to your best friend's ear 'Hey - there's something moving over there, could you please check?' while pointing with your hand the area

'Sure babe, don't worry' he says and gets up from the log where he was sitting to check and then immediately looks over to you and moves his head in affirmation

Your eyes widened and you immediately got up and ran off to the cottage's porch saying 'Chrisssssss, please take care of it!'

'I'm on it' he said while chuckling because the others were all with puzzled faces not understanding why the heck you ran off all the sudden

'She has cockroaches’ phobia and she spotted one here' he explained to everyone while killing it and grabbing a tissue paper to get rid of it.

'Cockroach? Where where? Is it dead? Oh my god oh my god oh my god' said Hobi while getting up and also running off to the cottage’s porch where you were waiting for your friend to confirm if he had got rid of the disgusting bug.

The others started to laugh at the sight of scaredy cat Hobi who went to hug you and looked far more terrified than you to be honest.

'I guess Hobi is not anymore the only one scared of bugs' said Aria while laughing at his boyfriend and you.

'Yeah, but Hobi is basically scared of every bug, Y/N doesn't like bugs in general but the only ones that might make her cry of fear are the cockroaches' said Chris - he's like an encyclopedia of you - JK thought.

'K, it's done, no more danger over here' Chris screamed at you and Hobi while you both nodded and started to come back to your places around the bonfire.

'Thanks, you're my guardian angel' you said over to your best friend giving him a peck on his cheek while your heart was starting to calm down.

Chris just winked at you and smiled while patting at the sitting spot you had left empty.

'So... cockroaches, huh?' said Namjoon chuckling as soon as you sat down.

'Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, don't judge me. I really can't control it... my heart starts beating incredibly faster and I always end up running off' you say while also chuckling.

You're completely aware of how irrational it sounds because it’s not like a cockroach can kill you or anything. But that's exactly what a phobia is, irrational fear to something.

'Don't worry, I understand you, my friend' said Hobi offering you a comforting smile

'Of course, you would understand her, you would understand anyone with a fear, you fear almost everything' said Jin while laughing at his friend who only glared at him and said 'No, I don’t’

'Guys, you don't even imagine the level of phobia that this girl here has' said Chris and then he looked at you and continued 'Remember that time we were coming back to your dad's place at night?' and all the sudden you and Chris were laughing like two crazy people, you had tears in your eyes from laughing.

Jungkook's lips twitched, he loved seeing you laugh. Even after your discussion, he couldn't help but to stare at your whole form. You looked so beautiful.

'Ohhhhh, I wanna know! What happened when you were going to Y/N dad's place at night?' asked a curious Taehyung while wiggling his eyebrows.

So, Chris starts by saying 'Well, I think we were about 18 years old at that time. It was 2 AM in the morning and we were coming back from having a few drinks at a bar. Keep in mind, we were the only ones on the street around that hour. We were like 2 blocks away from her dad's place walking and talking normally when all of the sudden this brat’ – Chris pointing at you – ‘started to run as if her life depended on it' you couldn't stop chuckling while your best friend continued telling the anecdote 'So, I automatically thought...'maybe she saw someone that was going to mug us or something like that' and of course, I also started to run like crazy' and all of your friends including Jungkook were already laughing with you two.

'After running those 2 blocks and arriving to her dad's, we were both out of breath and I asked her 'What the hell happened? You scared the shit out of me' and I think that was one of the few times I almost want to murder her because while she was trying to recover her breath she responded, 'I saw 2 dead cockroaches' ' and immediately all of the group bursted on laughter not believing that you could fear a dead bug.

'Seriously Y/N? Dead cockroaches??' said Jin while his windshield laugh resonated around you.

'I swear to God. I couldn't help it. It's like I saw those disgusting things on the floor and my mind immediately though 'if there's 2 one’s dead, there might be a lot more alive and closer' so I started to run without even telling Chris' you said while cleaning the laugh tears that fell on your cheeks

Well, finally your tears were from laughter and not sadness.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

The food was delicious as expected, chef Min Yoongi delivered an amazing barbecue along with Joey’s help.

You kept drinking Soju during the night and by the end of dinner, most of you were tipsy or drunk as fuck like Tae and Chris who were already starting to sing and babbling nonsenses.

Chris started to cling on you while saying ‘Noooooooooooooona, I’m sleepy sleepy, really sleepy’

‘Oh my god you’re such a big baby’ you whine while trying to get him up

‘Noona?’ asked Yoongi ‘You’re older than Chris, Y/N?’

‘I’m just 3 months older but every time he gets drunk, he annoyingly starts to call me Noona’ you respond

Then Jimin commented ‘Wait, Chris’s birthday is in August, right? So…that means your birthday is this month Y/N’

‘Bingoooooooo!’ screamed Chris while the others laughed at his drunken state.

‘Yeah, my birthday it’s on the 19th’ you simply responded; you aren’t much of the people who enjoys celebrating your birthday. But it did come to your thought that the last birthday that you actually celebrated was 2 years ago. When you still had your dad by your side.

Last year you were nowhere near to have any energy to celebrate your birthday. By that time, your dad had passed away the month before. So, when your birthday arrived, you turned off your phone and avoided any calls or greetings.

You just couldn’t stop thinking how the most special person in the world to you, wasn’t going to say, ‘Happy birthday!’ to you for the first time. Maybe you should celebrate this time, at least have dinner with your new friends or something like that, to drift your mind elsewhere.

Jungkook noticed you spacing out a little bit. Once at the gym he had asked you the exact date of your birthday since he only new it was some day around May. And you were also very short with your answer. He can tell is not something that you like to talk about that much, maybe it’s because of your dad. That makes him feel sad too, it was beyond obvious that you shared a special bond with your dad. He himself can’t imagine how he would feel without any of his parents. It must be so hard for you.

You didn’t even realize that you were spacing out until Jin spoke.

‘We must celebrate then! Besides my handsome features, I’m a great birthday party planner. I’ll take care of yours Y/N!’ said Jin who sounded excited as if it was his own birthday

‘Um… yeah, sure, I’m not much of a birthday type person but it would be nice to celebrate it with you, guys’

Namjoon saw your struggle with your drunk best friend that wouldn’t stop saying that he felt sleepy. So, he approached to you and offered you help while grabbing Chris from your hold ‘I’ll make sure he gets to his room, I’m not that drunk don’t worry’ he said while chuckling

‘Thanks, Joon’ you said while watching Namjoon lifting Chris up as if he was a sack of potatoes. Chris can be a real pain in the ass when he gets drunk.

‘No worries, I’ll probably also head to sleep once I’ve delivered this package. Goodnight, guys’

‘Right behind you’ said Hobi going hand to hand with Aria while also waving goodbye to the rest of the guys.

The following minutes Joey and Emma followed the same path as the others along with Jimin who was carrying Taehyung that couldn’t even walk properly. The only thing that Taehyung hadn’t drank was the lake’s water, he was a mess.

So, at the end you were left sitting by the bonfire with Jin, Jackson, Yoongi and JK.

You had a small talk with Yoongi about videogames and different animes that you loved from your childhood; you had a lot of common being both ‘93 liners.

You told him how you loved ‘Cardcaptor Sakura’ especially the character of ‘Kero’ that you always wanted to have Kero’s teddy bear because you found it so freaking cute, but you never got it. While Yoongi told you how he still binge-watches ‘Slam Dunk’ every time he has the opportunity.

After that nice talk, Yoongi told you he was going to bed and waved you goodbye – incredible that he was one of the lasts to go to sleep, you thought to yourself.

‘I think I’m going to have a little walk’ you said to the rest of the guys while walking towards the forest.

That’s when Jin elbowed Jungkook and made him signals for him to go with you.

Jungkook almost whispered screamed at Jin ‘What if she tells me to fuck off, hyung?’

‘Then you deserve it, but you have to at least try talking with her again – you’re both tipsy, maybe that’ll make things easier,’ simply responded Jin.

‘We’ll get going to bed too. So, you two can have your little time together’ said Jackson while winking at JK and getting up from his sit along with Jin.

Jungkook sighed a little scared of your reaction whenever you saw him going after you.

Okay, here we go – he thought to himself.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

'Noona, you're drunk. Come back here, it's too dark and you might fall' you hear Jungkook’s sweet voice from behind you.

'I'm just a little tipsy, I'm not drunk' while you keep walking into the forest.

'Okay, if you say so. I’ll go with you' says Jungkook while following you behind. You could get easily lost in the forest and get hurt in the dark, he's not gonna leave you alone. Plus, he needs to make things up with you somehow, just as Jin said.

Suddenly you stop walking, and you turn around going some steps towards Jungkook who has a surprised face now because of the closeness that you’re sharing, and you say, 'Why would you bring someone that you don't even like just to make me jealous?'

'Or did you intended to hurt me?' you say pouting sadly at him, he swears he almost folds after seeing that cute face of yours.

'What? No! Noona, how could you think I would want to hurt you?'

'I don't know what to believe, okay? I don't know anymore; you keep confusing me Jungkook'

And you keep talking while he stares at you with those beautiful doe eyes ‘I thought we had a connection the day we first met, I was excited to see you on the night club that day on Jackson's birthday thinking we were both in the same page and what do I got? Lina sucking your face'

He takes a few more steps towards you, cupping your face, making you look straight to his eyes, and he says 'Noona, we did have a connection that day when we met and I also was excited to be with you on the night club, I told you this already... Lina was the one to kiss me. And we still have that connection; I know you feel it too'

'I... I don't know what to think. You told me there wasn't nothing more between you and her. But she was the first person that you thought to bring here just to make me jealous, that doesn't sound as nothing to me' you start to feel your eyes sting.

Jeez. Since when do you cry so easily?

'Why...' you get choked up as you start crying 'Why did you hurt me, Jungkook?'

‘Fuck' you curse between tears and put your hand on JK's chest putting some distance between you two 'Why do I always end up crying in front of you?' you say almost defeated.

Jungkook was lost of words. He never thought he made you this confused. Confused enough to start thinking that he might wanted somehow to hurt you intentionally. He never would do something like that. But he had to clear everything right now and put a stop to all the misunderstandings.

He grabs your hand that's still over his chest and moves it towards his heart while you just watch him with your teary eyes. His heart was beating insanely fast, you could feel it going crazy…just the same as yours felt. He was affected by you just as much as he affected you. 

'Feel my heartbeat, noona. That can't be faked and that's how I feel every time I am with you, every time you laugh, every time you smile, you make my heart go crazy' he said as he also started to feel his eyes watering.

'I've been an idiot, I didn't understand how you could be dating another guy knowing that we both liked each other, I was impulsive inviting her, but I swear to you I never, ever, wanted to hurt you in anyway and the only girl that's in my mind is you, it's always been you since the day I saw you in Jackson's house. Lina and I were over months ago and it never happened anything else, only that kiss that you saw at the night club. I was pretty clear with her, and I told her that there was no way we would be restarting things. I just... want...you' he said while leaning his forehead against yours, you could see tears streaming down his cheeks.

You were sure he was being sincere; it was written all over his face. You shared one look at each other while your hand instantly started caressing the side of his face and you were about to kiss him when he said 'I don't want to take advantage of you, noona. As much as I want to kiss you and never let you go, I want our first kiss to be while we're both sober'

'You're not taking advantage; I'm giving you the advantage plus I told you I'm just tipsy' you said while looking at those lips that were almost calling you.

He smiled at you and whined saying 'Noona, you're not making things any easier for me, you know that?' while his eyes also dropped to your lips.

'Just a little kiss and we can go to sleep then' you whispered on his ear.

'Fuck - you'll be the death of me. How can I say no to you?' he said with that raspy voice that you love to hear.

You were the one to cup his face now and got closer to his beautiful, sculpted face and you whispered at him right in front of his lips while staring at his Bambi eyes 'I just want you too' - his eyes lighted up as soon as he heard you and you both smiled at each other.

And that’s when it finally happened, you both closed the short distance at the same time and connected your lips together. You both felt a wave of electricity running through your bodies as soon as your tongues touched.

He grabbed your waist tightly while making you walk backwards until your back was against a tree, you grabbed his shirt into a fist pulling him closer to you. The kiss was slow and passionate, your lips moved in sync as if they were made for each other.

Jungkook then started to kiss your cheek and continuing his kisses lowering to your jawline, then your neck where he sucked your skin as you tilted your head giving him more access, at that point a small moan escaped your lips and you could feel his smirk against your neck as he continued sucking it as if his life depended on it - he stopped for a second and watched proudly the mark he had left on your neck - and then he kissed you again on your lips.

Oh my God. Is this really happening?

While you kept your lips connected you started to run one of your hands against his abs while the other was busy pulling a little bit his hair. He groaned with that raspy voice of his that always was successful on making a pool between your legs. You stopped kissing and he pressed his forehead on yours.

'I-… God... I’ve been wanting to do that for such a long-time baby, I can't stop now'

'Then don't stop' you said breathlessly against his lips while biting your lower lip.

'Gosh, don't do that. Don't bite that lip. You’ll make me go crazy' when you looked at him you could see his eyes filled with lust and he immediately connected your lips again.

This time it was much steamier, you could feel him getting harder on his sweatpants and you were a mess - he felt so fucking big -, you couldn't stop moaning. You needed to feel him more, so, you grinded against his erection and he replied also grinding against you while you heard him grunting between the kisses.

This kept going for a few minutes until you had to stop to catch some air and as soon as your eyes met you both chuckled while he cupped your face and gave you a last peck on your lips.

'Sorry, I couldn't control myself; I have been waiting for you for a while now, baby' he said while smiling at you.

'Baby, huh? I like how that sounds coming from your lips' you smiled back 'I'm not complaining though, it's not like I was successful on controlling myself' while you both shared a laugh.

It was getting chilly outside and JK noticed you were wearing a shirt and leggings so, he said 'You're gonna get sick, it's getting cold here, gorgeous. How about we head inside?'

'Yeah, sure, let's go handsome' you said. He blushed at the compliment while smiling and offering you his hand to you and you took it as you both made your way towards the cottage with a smile plastered on your faces.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

You were in front of your bedroom when you beat him to talk first and say 'Um...would you like to sleep with me?'

His eyes went big as two plates and you realize that what you said sounded bad, though you would love to release all the sexual tension that there's between you two, you don't think it's the best idea to have sex when all your friends are sleeping literally on the same floor.

If he made you moan only for kissing you with your clothes on, you can't imagine how loud you'll be once he's inside you. Fuck, you should stop thinking about that

'Oh my god, I didn't think how it sounded before saying it. Sorry, I was referring to you sleep by my side. Not that I don't want to sleep with you in the other way, don't misunderstand me, I really really want to...but I think is not the best when our friends are sleeping on the same floor and maybe it'll be good for us to take it slow' you said to him while you both chuckled

'You really don't have any filter when you have a few drinks on your system...but I gotta say I really love it, you're so straightforward, noona' once again he had that lustful look that was driving you crazy and as he came closer to your face he said 'I would love to sleep with you, in any possible way'

You started to blush like crazy and giggling while you grabbed him by his hand and you both entered your room.

'Um... I wear only a big t-shirt to sleep, hope that's okay with you' you say, and you swear you see his lips twitch before he says 'No problem noona, I normally sleep only with boxers but maybe it's too much to ask, is it okay if I take off my shirt at least? It's hard for me to sleep with clothes on' asking for your permission with a smirk on his face.

Fuck fuck fuck. He's such a tease

You try to sound unphased saying 'Yeah sure, take it off, no problem' and you stayed there frozen while he took off his shirt slowly almost torturing yourself. Oh for the love of God, what a fine piece of man. Your eyes were concentrated on his six pack, how can he be this hot? It should be illegal. 

'Noona' suddenly his raspy voice woke you up from your trance, he got really close to you and cupped your face again. You gulped when you came across with his intense gaze once again... you wanted to touch his abs so bad.

'Yes, JK?' you almost whisper.

'If you keep checking me out like that, I won't be able to control myself from fucking you all night long'

Yeah, your pussy just died

'I- I wasn't checking you out' you lie, and you both know is a big fat lie because you were almost salivating at the Adonis in front of you.

Jungkook chuckled, he loved seeing you this affected by him. 'Okay baby, if you say so... you're not gonna get your clothes changed?'

'Oh yeah, you’re right, I'll be right back' you grabbed your big t-shirt that you use to sleep sometimes and went to your bathroom to change clothes.

Once you exited the bathroom with your t-shirt on, you saw that Jungkook was already under the covers sitting on the bed with his back against the bed head, waiting for you. He lifted his eyes when he heard you coming out of the bath and you could see his gaze turning dark, looking at your now exposed legs.

He was intimidating you with that dark gaze. It was incredible that this man could be soft, cute and at the same time so hot and full of lust. You went quickly to your side of the bed and got under the covers too. 

His eyes followed every step you took and once you were by his side he said 'You look beautiful' while smiling at you.

'And you look like a Calvin Klein publicity' you said and that got a proper laugh of him while you joined too. He was blushing now. He went in two seconds from hot and lusty Jungkook to shy and blushing Jungkook. The duality in this man is insane.

'No. Seriously. I knew you were hot' his eyebrows shoot up in surprise as soon as he heard you while you continued 'But this' - you say while touching his abs and his eyes just follow your hand while he gulps - 'It brings a whole new level of hotness'

'Fuck' he curses under his breath. 'Baby, you are such a minx' he said while grabbing your chin and you just smiled at him.

'We better sleep now. Do you mind if I sleep with my head on your chest?' you ask with a cute pouty face.

'Of course, you can do whatever you want with me' he shamelessly says, seeing how your cheeks start to get rosy from the blushing.

Please, stooooooppppp Jeon Jungkook

'Good to know that' you say shortly, while you make yourself comfortable with your head on his chest and your hand goes to rest right on those killing abs.

'I can't believe that finally I have you in my arms' he suddenly said, and you couldn't help looking him in the eyes and caressing his face.

'You and me both. But I'm glad it's finally happening' you said, and he felt his heart skipping a beat.

'Me too, noona. Sweet dreams' 

You came closer and cupped his face to give him a sweet peck on the lips that made both of your stomach feel tingly. He smiled at you while you said 'Goodnight JK'.

With his arms around your frame, JK couldn't stop thinking that this had to be a dream. He feared falling sleep and that when he woke up you wouldn't be there. He didn't want you to slip away from him again. 

He took one look to your cute face, you looked happy sleeping over his body. He couldn't help but to smile too. He decided to push away all his fears of losing you and he fell asleep while holding you tightly and thinking to himself – this time I won’t let you slip away from me, noona.

Previous | Next

[romanstheory]

I'm The One a Jey Uso Fic Part 6/?

Warnings: Violence, Language, arguing

Word Count: 1,013

Last Part

18 +

We land at our next destination, still high on our steamy session hours before. We exit the plane and immediately head to the arena. "I'll catch up with y'all, I got some bidness to handle" Jimmy says gesturing away from us. Jey and I walks hand in hand down the hall to catering. Everyone seems to be staring, but neither of us really cared. I've never been this public with a relationship, especially at work. It felt right, like everything happened in perfect timing.

Solo walks passed, seeing us holding hands. His eyes look down at our hands then dart up at us. You could almost see the steam coming from his ears. His brown skin tinted red now he grits his teeth and quickly walks the other direction, punching a nearby piece of equipment. He muttered what I assume to be curse words to himself while he storms away like an angry child. The sound startled everyone in the room, it was loud and abrupt. "I guess he's still pissed he took that L" Jey says cackling. Everyone else in the room chuckles.

I swallow loudly and fake chuckle along with everyone else..... My appetite is gone. "You good?" Jey asks me, noticing how unsettled I am. "Yeah..... Yeah I'm fine" I say "That was just a lot". Jey brushes it off and continues eating his food. I pick at my food and twiddle my thumbs until he finishes his food. The clock is ticking.... Almost show time. I'm still put off by the incident earlier while Jey and I stretch together. "You sure you're good, you haven't said much since earlier. Did I do something?" Jey asks concerned. "No you didn't do anything, I'm just in my head a lot. It'll be fine" I say dismissing his concerns.

Solo walks by again, my body tenses up. He stares a hole through me. "What the fuck are you staring at uce?" Jey says bucking up at his younger brother. "Yall together now?" Solo says unfazed by his older brothers antics. "Yeah and what?" Jey replies quickly. For the first time in my life, i'm stuck.... I have nothing to say. My entire life with Jey is in Solo's hands right now. "Please... PLEASE" I say to myself while I stare at Solo straight faced.

Solo frowns and nods his head, looking at me and then Jey. "Cool" He says looking at me once again, hatred and sadness fill his eyes. Jey's music begins to play and he grabs my hand to pull me through the curtain with him. Solo's eyes stay locked on mine, his arms folded and my body full of anxiety. We do our segment, the crowd loved every second of it. For a little while I forgot about what just happened. I pull the curtain back, and there Solo is..... Waiting. "Uce why are you still here?" Jey says in a hostile tone.

"I was gonna spare you, but why would I? She didn't spare me" Solo says. Jey looks at me confused and then back at Solo. "Joseph..." I say. "I don't wanna hear that shit tell him why we really stopped being tag partners" Solo barks. "What the fuck is he talking about?" Jey asks me, getting angry. I am once again speechless, a feeling I deeply despise. "You like that little heart tattoo between her titties?" Solo says with no emotion. Jey is infuriated "Tell me why the fuck he knows that!" Jey screams. "Her ass is soft huh? That was my favorite part" He continues.

"You better shut the fuck up before I break your fucking jaw" Jey screams louder than I ever thought possible. "It was one time!" I scream "We were drunk Jey it was one time". Solo and I got drunk one night, and we had sex. I regretted it once I sobered up, but Solo caught feelings. I told him I didn't feel anything for him, he screwed me over, and here we are now. My stomach sank over the thought that Jey may want nothing else to do with me.

"It was a drunk mistake Jey I swear" I plead "He thought it would turn into something that I told him never would and then he turned on me in the ring". Jey quickly gets in Solo's face. "She played me" Solo says "But that pussy feels good". Jey swings on Solo knocking him to the floor, attracting even more attention onto us. Jimmy comes running in and he and I pull them apart. "What the hell is goin on here?" Jimmy says holding Solo's hands behind his back.

"He took her!" Solo screams. "Man fuck you!" Jey screams while I hold him back. "You're delusional Joseph" I scream back at him. "You had me fooled bitch the way you fucked me I would have thought you loved me" Solo barks. Jey breaks from my grip and rushes toward Solo punching him right in his face. Jimmy lets go of him and he falls to the ground. Jey mounts Solo, punching him over and over again ruthlessly. Jimmy tries to pull Jey away but isn't successful. Solo pushes Jey off and they exchange blows before finally being pulled apart.

"I'm not the fucking villain!" Solo yells while he's being pulled down the hall. "Baby.." I say softly to Jey "I don't wanna talk right now" Jey says pulling away from me and walking away leaving Jimmy and I in the hallway alone in silence. "What was that about?" Jimmy asks. "He found out about the Solo thing" I reply softly. Jimmy sighs heavily.... He already knew the situation but promised he wouldn't say anything as long as I swore it was just a drunk moment. It was...... I have no feelings for Solo.... But apparently he couldn't say the same. "I hope that didn't just ruin everything" I say on the verge of tears. "Nah.... He's crazy about you. He would have just walked away if that was going to ruin it". I hope he's right.... Jimmy is always right....

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

You're My, Best Friend

Words: 850

Warnings: probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist 1989 (TV) Event Masterlist Join My Taglist

I haven't written for Tim in a while, holy shit, apologies if this is bad!

This is the "You Are In Love" part of my 1989 event!

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

Throughout the entire night, Y/N kept glancing at Tim as they watched a movie in the dark movie room of the manor. It was their monthly movie night. But something felt different tonight. She wasn't sure what it was about. All she knew was that if you asked her what the movie was about, she would have looked at you, blinking like a fish.

But now they were in his car as he was driving her home. She fiddled with the buttons on the jacket he bought her a while ago. Not much was being said between them, small talk, mostly. But even in the silent moments as he drove her home, she felt it. That different feeling that she got whenever they were together nowadays.

He pulled up to a stop in front of her apartment, his headlights on the wall reflecting back into the car. The vehicle became illuminated, the chain on his neck (a gift from her) even had a glint on it. Her heart fluttered as their shoulders brushed and he whispered, "Look up."

His sunroof was open, something he did whenever they drove together (if weather allowed), and she looked up to see what he was pointing out. A soft smile on her face as she saw stars, something rare to see in the city.

She smiled at him, "I better get going." She unbuckled and opened her door. Grabbing her coffee she slipped out. Looking back at him, a gentle but tired look on her face. "Thanks for the coffee, even though it's midnight."

He laughed, "It'll get you up to your apartment and keep you warm." He nervously smiled at her, "Can I kiss you?"

For a moment, it took her by surprise. But then she smiled and nodded. The moment his lips fell onto hers, she felt calm. Nearly identifying that feeling she's felt all night.

When he pulled away, he smiled goofily at her, "I'll see you later, alright."

She nodded, "See you."

She carefully closed the door to his car and walked into her apartment. That feeling was still in the air. She wasn't sure what it was about. And for a moment, as she turned the lights out to her bedroom, she realized what it was.

She was in love.

--------

"--I am just sick and fucking tired of being treated this way, Tim!" The rain and thunder outside nearly drowned out their screams.

"Then how do you want to be treated, Y/N?! Huh?! Because your history of men and friends really can't tell me shit!"

She felt her heart break at those words. Him bringing up her spotty past with ex-boyfriends and ex-friends. "I just want you to treat me as more than you do." She looked away, down at the shirt of his she had on. "I just...I thought...I thought that the kiss from the other night meant something."

She heard him let out a breath, "I'm sorry."

She looked at him oddly, "For what?"

"I'm scared that if I pursue these feelings I have for you, that you'll get hurt." His voice was soft and she knew that it was everything that had happened to him that was pulling his strings. Corrupting his thoughts.

"Timmy I--"

"I want you. I really do. I just don't want you to get hurt." He closed his eyes, "You're the only person who has been by my side forever. I just don't want to lose you."

She gently took his hand in hers, "And you won't. I promise you that you won't."

He nodded meekly, "Promise me?"

She smiled and kissed him, "I promise."

--------

The moon was high in the sky. Tim had passed out a few hours ago, his burnt toast left uneaten by his bed. His TV was on as Y/N faded in and out of sleep. Her eyes however opened wide as she heard him push himself up. As she looked at him, the TV illuminating the room, she saw the odd look on his face.

"Tim?"

He looked at her, "You're my best friend, you know that right?"

She smiled, he knew what he meant. He was in love.

--------

Y/N shook her head as she watched the news play a video of her and Tim dancing around in the ballroom at Wayne Manor. That was all that people covered nowadays. Was about how Bruce Wayne's adoptive son seemed to have found someone that made him happy.

They recently found out that there was a photo of her on his desk at Wayne Industries and people went crazy over it. She found it all ironic. People being so obsessed with their relationship.

But...she couldn't say anything about it. As he walked through the door, coffee cup in his hand, tired eyes slowly blinking, she finally understood why people fought wars for people in the past. She understood why men started wars for a woman they loved. She understood why people would spend their entire lives figuring out how to put it into words.

She finally understood because she was in love.

[dareactions]

I just have a few requests x3

How about the companions react to a Young!Inquisitor reacting to solas's betrayal by saying this: "I dont know why I was surpprised, everyone I have ever loved has either left me,died,betrayed me somehow,or given me copious amounts of trauma. I'm kinda numb to it all at this point" and they stop hiding their emotions and they just look....so old? Like almost broken old?

I return just to hit y'all w the angst hammer im so sorry. (I'm not <3)

Solas goes first bcs he is a big meanie and should feel bad for hurting poor young!inquisitor smh

Solas: It's not the answer he expects or the response he wants. There's no doubt that he knew from the beginning that he'd hurt them, that no matter what happened they would look at him as if he'd lit their entire life on fire and watched it burn down but not once had he even considered that they'd look so- aged. There's a horrifyingly burning feeling in his chest and he wants to grab their shoulders and beg for them to be angry, kick, scream- do anything a normal person would. But instead, they're just staring at him so exhausted and for once Solas feels dread.

Cassandra: Her first initial feeling, is anger. Cassandra always responds to things with that first burst of fiery rage and need for justice, but once that passes it's just the need to protect. She finally understands her own brother, a bit. Cassandra helps in the only ways she knows, holding the Inquisitor until they finally let themself cry, and after that, she makes it her own personal life goal to cave in the skull of anyone who ever makes them make that expression again. She considers for just a moment if maybe she is part of the problem (she knows she is, she remembers the first time they met in that cell), but she can't bring herself to think about it.

Blackwall: He knows he is part of the problem, of that long list of people who have lied and turned tail when it came down to it. And fuck if he doesn't feel bad. Blackwall hates to admit that he is an expert in self-pity but he really can't help the wave of self-hatred that seeing the Inquisitor like that brings. He has never seen someone young seem so old but then he remembers young soldiers, young mages, and templars all with that same dead look in their eyes. Blackwall turns away, he might make them small trinkets and keep an eye on them but he is nowhere near brave enough to look them in the face for nearly a week after that.

Dorian: So, he is adopting them- everyone shut up, you don't get to pick. It's his younger sibling now and as their new legal guardian, he would want everyone to back the fuck off. Dorian is the most likely I think to fall into the attempts of regaining normalcy for the Inquisitor. He treats them the same, doesn't matter what horrifying piece of information they may have dropped he keeps the same level of jest and care between them. But he is more keen-eyed on making sure nobody gets too close, that nobody says something that no teenager or child should year. Nothing is more horrifying than a Pavus with protective habits, let me tell you that much.

Sera: I love Sera, but she is fucking horrid with the emotional support and she knows it. Sera will step around like she is walking on glass shards, get annoyed and say something bordering on insensitive and then realize what she has done- and try her best to mend things. Sera forgot their age, she said and had them help with things that maybe a child shouldn't deal with but no child in Ferelden isn't broken a little bit, so she isn't entirely sure how to navigate someone so numb to it all. Sera of course suggests crime, that always makes her feel better and it'll make them feel better for sure.

Iron Bull: See, the Inquisitor is a member of the Bull's Chargers. That means they're family and they're looking so fucking miserable and sad right now that it just means that he kicks into that need to protect. Bull knows better than to lean onto his past mistakes and regrets, think about everything he could've done better at this point to protect them. He just is more weary, more aware of their age- he does his best to keep some semblance of childhood in their life even if its far too late. And if things get too hard he pats their shoulder, leans down and reminds them 'horns pointed up, chin high' because nobody can take them down and if they are too numb to go on then he'll just have to re-ignite their flame.

Varric: Oh, he has seen that look before. Hawke carried it like a horrifying shadow of dread after their mom, after everything. He remembers the glazed over look, the empty tone of voice and the exhaustion. The way nothing is hidden on their face and he hates it. A part of Varric had promised himself to not let it get to this point, and he failed miserably. Varric never saw himself as much of a parental figure but somehow he falls into one pretty easily after that reveal, he is far less willing to let things slide. Varric is the first to admit he will put a bolt through Solas throat if he sees him again though.

Vivienne: She sees that expression, hears those words and she sees red. If you've ever seen this woman mad you've never seen her mad like this and it's like watching a mother lion with its cub. It's almost laughable when people try to get too close to do something after this, it's as if the Inquisitor has their own personal mom to freeze people at will now. She can't undo that hurt, she knows she can't, but she sure as hell can help them in the future.

Cole: Oh this poor lad, he feels that pain into his very core and it makes him feel like he will shatter and break himself. Cole is hovering, but not in the way that Cass of Vivienne is- he hovers in a surprisingly...helpful way. Cole whispers words of comfort, reminds them of the good and is well aware of when to be quiet. Sometimes he can help, not with everything, but this he can help with and he does so the only way he knows- words of truth and letting the Inquisitor wear his hat and hug him, obviously.

[lvxybby]

It kills me to love you (kai anderson x reader) Angst. (it'll get better <3) PART 2

i sat there on the bench. i became full of stress once i hung up on kai. i did way to much and i know ill get punished for it. will he beat me? scream and yell at me? lock me in a closet? i dont know. i really cant deal with him anymore. i want the things he promised me. he promised to keep me safe, educate me, stay LOYAL to me if im loyal to him, WHICH IS ALL I HAVE BEEN! he has promised me so much! and EVERY SINGLE ONE IS BROKEN! i cant take it! i wont! im tired of him calling me weak and a slut for crying over something or dressing a certain way. i have been taking all his bullshit for so long, and he doesnt expect me to feel bad? sometimes i really miss the old kai. the sweet quiet fun kai. the one who would braid my hair and kiss my cheek when im sad. i miss him coming over and talking to me about his parents. he wont tell me anything because hes so eaten up with paranoia. and vince? he doesnt help one bit. his brother is a mess and all he does is supply kai with adderall! i sat there on that bench or hours just thinking. it grew darker and darker and soon it was 10:30. i held my things close to my body. i didnt want to go back. i couldnt go back. soon i saw the familiar grey toyota pull up onto the side of the curb. kai along with meadow got out. dear lord help me. her "very real blonde" hair was over her shoulders and down her back. i sat patiently and waited. kai walked over to me and slapped me so hard i thought i would pass out. "what the fuck!" he shouted. i stayed quiet. "seriously what the fuck" meadow said "oh shut your fucking mouth you cunt!" i snapped back at her "you have no reason to be in this? why the hell are you even here?!" i continued. kai hit me once more. "you have no right to talk to her like that after what you've done" he growled. "kai i dont want to be around you! thats why i left! all you care about anymore is yourself and meadow! YOU always call me weak and a slut and a attention seeker! ALL those names and you dont expect me to get upset! I DONT WANT TO BE AROUND YOU!" i cried out "what happened to the loyalty? you promised loyalty to go both ways and ive been by your side, helping you dispose of YOUR doings! i do my task no matter how i feel! i always do what you want me to and you dont do anything else for me!" i yelled at him. he snatched my arm and dragged me to his car. i fought back, digging my nails into his skin. i clawed and dug them into his arm but it didnt stop him. meadow followed us. he opened the door and threw me into the back. i hit my head hard on the other side. i quivered as kai got into the front seat, meadow following. he put on his seatbelt and began to drive back to his house. was this it? is this all he would do? no. theres no way. i quietly let tears flow down my face. i rubbed the spot where i hit my head. it felt warm. i moved my hand to find blood smeared onto it. i covered my mouth as i cried a bit more. he stopped right in front of his house and got out. he came over by me and opened the door and began to drag me out by my hair. the asphalt scratched and cut my calves, leaving my legs bleeding. i tried to force his hand away from my hair but he never let go. he pulled me inside and slammed his door "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" he screamed. "YOU DONT TALK ABOUT THAT ANYWHERE ELSE BUT HERE" he continued. i cried more. he dragged me down to the basement and threw me down onto the hard cold floor. my head was bleeding so much by now. i cried out in pain from the sudden force. i was in so much pain. everything hurt, so badly. "kai please" i cried. i couldnt even stand up i hurt so bad. "no im not done with you" he whispered close to me. "kai all i did was leave the house for a few hours cause i was upset! i never wanted this to happen! i left cause i couldnt take it anymore! i have done so much for you for 2 years! 2! but meadow kills a guy and it so perfect! Ive done so much shit for you! to make YOU happy to make YOU comfortable I HAVE DONE SO MUCH BUT YOU DONT CARE! SO WHY DO YOU WANT ME AROUND!?" I yelled back at him. he sat there quiet for a minute.

[pansy-placebo]

About me

Hi! Call me Pansy, or Bo.

I don't know what this blog will be yet, so it'll be a lot of reblogs for the time being. I'd like to make some friends here, though.

Content warning: brain damage, drug use, trauma, sex and rape mention, mental illness, er... politics? Also the DNI section includes a lot of difficult topics, I need to mention stuff to be sure to ward away assholes, sorry.

I'm mlm and polyamorous.

I'm a very gender little goblin man, I'm a drag artist with a couple shows under my belt. Said shows are very rare at the moment, so the drag I do the most is just dressing up lol. I'm really considering making a drag society/club in my local town- I'm Welsh, and re-learning the language since I went to live in England for a few years and completely forgot how to speak it.

My pronouns are he/him or xey/xem.

I have a degree in fine art, but got some brain damage (oops) which means my art production really slowed to a halt for the past few years. I still occasionally draw, paint and make jewellery though. At the moment, I'm too disabled to have any kind of job but I hope over time those issues will get better and I'll be able to support myself on my art again.

I have ADHDtism, here are some special interests and hyperfixations, some of which are active, some have passed and just left a lasting impact on my psyche:

goth music

nutrition, digestion, and diet culture (which is a scam btw)

art and art history

human anatomy

aquatic life, especially aquatic snails

religions, particularly shingon

sexual paraphilias, the more niche the better (that one lasted a decade) and I won't be posting about it here because honestly wtf is my brain

I write. So far this post has been a truly terrible showcase of my writing skills, because my brain is very blob-of-goo-sloshing-in-a-bone-fishbowl right now, but I used to produce mass amounts of poetry and I still write occasionally. Maybe I'll even post some of it from time to time, who knows!

I'm ok with some nsfw stuff, but I won't be reblogging or posting porn, and I don't want any of that on my dash please. PLEASE DON'T PUT PORN ON MY DASH.

I'm very mentally ill, but I'm reticent about it because I'm still feeling out the culture here. For now let's just say I have a lot of trauma in my past and sometimes my brain says "fuck you, lmao" and takes all my memories out of their filing cabinets and lights them on fire.

I'm also a drug addict, which exacerbates the amnesia, and a former alcoholic still wrestling with the bottle.

My politics: I'm very left leaning and very aware of societal issues. I'm somewhere in the arena of socialism and communism, and I've read enough theory to know I don't know how to correctly pick a precise label for my politics in that area. Initially while writing this post, the political section was super long and then I realized that this is not the point of this blog, so fuck that. You get the idea. I give a shit.

DNI:

porn blogs

SWERFs

transphobes, "gender critical" people, transmeds

aphobic people: if you think ace people are not discriminated against, you are included here, so DNI.

racists, nazis, islamaphobes, antisemites: for example if you think white people/culture are under attack, you are included in this section, so DNI.

discourse-havers: I mean the people who will bring the discourse to my dash. I mean a sensitive topic discussion which devolves into a screaming wall of reductive rhetoric and contrived logic where everyone who disagrees in any way is a bad person and people just start attacking each other for having the wrong opinion instead of having actual conversations about the subject at hand. I was on twitter for years, and I learned early on that The Discourse was never something to engage in, and I'm aware that it happens here too. Keep it off my dash. Thanx.

Pedos, MAPs, lolicons and their supporters.

ableists, anti-self-dx people. Do you think you can tell when people "aren't really" disabled, or that there are a hoards of people out there claiming to be disabled for the money? if so, DNI.

if your blog has a lot of self harm, gore or rape content

people who think doxxing is generally okay. I don't think it's okay in most situations

classists: Do you think poor people deserve to be poor, that they have done something to "deserve" poverty, that they should just spend their money better and stop being poor? do you never give money to homeless people because they'll "spend it all on drugs"? if yes to any of these, DNI.

Do you think people with eating disorders should just "eat a sandwich?" if yes, DNI. EDs are complex, I won't want to interact with people who belittle ED havers.

can't currently think of anything else to add here but yeah i think you get the idea.

See ya,

xxx

Bo / Pansy

[silverghost1001]

It hurts so much, I dont know why I can never do anything right. Especially when I try to. I only hurt wveryone and cause fights and make everything wrong and im sorry i know im not supposed to be alive, i should've died but idk how or why im still here. Maybe I should've just given in back in 2019. Maybe they'd have been better like that. Without me to annoy and make more bills that they'd need to pay. Maybe if I stopped eating and slowly used less and less things it'll make them happier? If i made myself invisible they wouldn't be able to be mad at. If i died then i wouldn't be a problem anymore and it hurts because im rrying my best i promise i am but its never enough how can i ever be enoghj? I want to make them happy but im so useless i cant even do basic stuff im too useless to even keep myself alive and even more useless to just kill myself already and get rid of their problme because if i hadnt been born everyone wouldve been happier and lived better and i wouldnt be there to make expenses and make people upset and do everything wrong because even my name i manage to get wrong and im so rieed i dont know what to do anymore and the only thing i deserve is pain and bad things but im so selfish that i still crave to be able to relay on somwone to be able to tell them my fears and woeries and then hug then when my heart feels heavy and my lungs refuse to breathe and everythings too much and i cant cry i just want to die but its Selfish because people depend on me and itd just prove how fucking useless i am because id be letting them down just cuz my family is always angry at me and everyone says my family doesn't hate me but if they dont, then im so fucking scared of the moment i take a wrong step and they hate me because this is horrible and im constantly scared of everything and i cant even losten to voice messages because I get scared that it'll be just them screaming at me for something while on good days i can baeely pay enough attention to pass my classes and i only manage to make friends because thwy probably pity me and i probably wouldnt make a single difference if i just vanished and maybe thats what i should do. Maybe i should just run away and die far away, maybe by the time they found my body everyone would've forgotten and moved on. I mean, people have already done that while im still alive. My mom simply left and pretends i never exosted, tells everyone i hate my brother even when I'd kill myself if it meant him being okay and happy. Im not religious, and i certainly dont believe on fairy tales, but all my wishes and prayers are that the 2 people that still matter to me, will be fine and happy. Even if ut costs my own happiness. Wven if it costs my own life. I would rather die in miswry and alone rhen know that i could've made them okay and prefered to keep this shitty existence going. They matter. They are important. Im just a fucking accident that should've died years ago and everyone probably regrets saving from each and every single i almost died during these 17 years. Maybe its not too late... Who am i kidding? I couldnt simply go and diaturb the school's calendar. There's group projects that depend on me and I've already done too many wrong things for me to just do more as if it'd be okay. Yhey dont deserve that stress, they already deal with so much. But me? I deserve every single bit of pain and anger that is inflicted upon me. I deserve to be hated and screamed at. I deserve every single horrible thing that may happen to me because im just a swlfish souless useless piece of trash and i should die already because im good for nothing other than taking up space and using up resources that could've been used for something better and more important. And evne if i wrote for the rest of my life i wouldnt be able to get everything out and im just so tired on so many ways.

Im sorry. Im truly very sorry. Im going to sleep now.

It'll be fine.

[apollo-zero-one]

I love my parents and they undeniably do a lot for me and as a member of this family I should be a team player and stick it out. But also. I think my life would genuinely be so much better if I cut my parents off from my bank account and moved out. They try both they are so fucking financially irresponsible and it is like actually ruining my life I think. And I know they have good intentions but when I mention maybe wanting to move out they immediately go on about how much harder it would be and how it involves so much more than just paying rent- okay! Teach me then! I am not allowed to see any of the bills in this household. That my entire paycheck and then some goes toward. I let my mom know I had a credit card and she asked to borrow it a handful of times and it is maxed out. My bank account is always negative because she has a debit card on it. I spend maybe $40 total every two weeks and I'm here feeling miserable and guilty about it because it's making my account so much more negative and she has purchased my baby sister a new backpack. Which is fine. It's not a bad thing, alone. It's just that it's all. The. Time. And my stepdad gets on her ass about it and that forces me to take her side even though I don't agree with her because He's Doing The Same Shit!! Worse even because he doesn't TELL US ANYTHING. We all agreed to cancel all of our subscriptions in an attempt to get out of the hole and who do I find watching fucking Hulu with his secret account he made separate from the family one. Bringing home individual snacks and drinks from the overpriced corner store- and getting pissy when I say he needs to cut it out. I'm not fucking saying you can't have snacks!! I'm saying buy them from the goddamn grocery store and divide them into baggies!! The cost of a party size bag of chips and a box of sandwich sized baggies is significantly less than the cost of one single serving bag of chips every day for a week and WE. ARE. IN. DEBT. I don't fucking understand how he's got negative a thousand dollars or fucking whatever and can justify this shit. And he's the one who is always bringing it up as if he isn't just as guilty as my mom! My brother has it right, he never tells our parents where he is, what he's doing, or how much he makes. They don't know how much he works or how much money he has and he is never reliably home so he isn't asked to do things. While I, I am sharing everything I have and I thought I was helping my family through a hard time but I think I'm just enabling their irresponsibility.

And I am currently trying to figure out how to talk to them about this without it turning into a fight. I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay calm because I finally passed the threshold from defeated to just absolutely fucking seething. You are both nearly fifty fucking years old and it should not have been on me as your child to realize as my credit score tanks and my bank leaves me threatening voicemails that helping my family is financially irresponsible.

I love my family so much and it is hurting me so, so bad to get the perspective that they are a sinking ship dragging me down with them. There isn't, actually, anything I can do to help. Maybe if I do just fucking leave it'll be the kick in the ass they need to actually change. What are my other options? Lecturing them? Guilting them? Screaming at them? They already know I'm upset. Of course I'm upset.

And I'm not innocent of spending more than I should every now and then but it's never more than I was confident I had and it always was a punch to the gut when I wake up the next day and my account is hundreds of dollars negative because of something my mother did. I don't even fucking know what.

Yeah, living by myself might be hard, but at least I'll actually know and have control over everything going on. At least when my account goes negative I will know exactly why and be able to prevent it the next time. I can learn. I need to get out of this helpless, hopeless situation before it kills me.

[journalofsorts2]

anytime my dad is overworked or stressed out or angry about something it always always reflects back on me. anytime he's in a bad mood i feel like i'm walking on god damn eggshells. i am so sick of it. i am so fucking sick of feeling scared of existing in my own god damn house. and that's all this fucking place has ever been to me, it's only ever been a house, not once in my whole life have i ever considered this place a home. i can't recall a single fucking moment where this house ever felt safe and comforting and somewhere i would escape to. i was always escaping from here, never to here. but anyways, my dad is angry and tired cause he's had a busy two weeks and now it's over and he's making sure everyone knows just how fucking tired he is. and i get it, he's a busy man, he had a busy week, i get feeling tired and in need of a break, i get it, i do, but what pisses me off is how he gets to express it. he gets to tell everyone, he gets to tell people to leave him alone, he gets to warn people he might scream at them, he gets to yell without apologizing, he gets to feel it. he's allowed to outwardly express how he's feeling even if it's a negative emotion. but i don't. i don't get to do that. if i'm mad at someone or something, i have to bottle it up. if i yell at someone when i'm overwhelmed without apologizing, you bet your ass i'll be in trouble. if i'm mad i get suggestions on how to fix it or my problem instead of just letting me be angry for once. if i tell people to leave me alone when i'm overwhelmed, i get angry huffs and silence for the rest of the day. i don't get to just feel how i'm feeling if it's a negative emotion. and especially with him. i don't just get to tell him i'm mad at him even if it's something important. i don't get to express how i'm feeling negatively towards him. but he does. he gets that. he's allowed himself to do that. and it pisses me off beyond belief. he gets to exist without consequences and i don't. and god forbid i try to communicate with him about how any of this makes me feel because it'll get turned back on me because 'what about how he feels?' and 'he's under a lot of stress right now' and the second i shed a single tear it turns into a yelling match. i just, i'm so frustrated all the time with him, it feels like everyday that passes he just gets worse and worse and he's like mom lite, like he has all these bad traits that she has but at least he puts in some effort into being a parent. i'm just so sick of bottling everything up and one of these days he's going to raise his voice at me and it'll all come spewing out. idk, i can't bring myself to say i hate him like i do my mom because he's so much better than my mom but they're still both bad parents. but for years i've been choosing the lesser of two evils and lately my rose colored glasses have been falling off and i can finally see that my dad's responsible for some of my problems too. idk maybe if i wasn't such a fucking nuisance i'd have a better home life. maybe if i learned to be normal i wouldn't have a whole family that hates me. in the end, the common denominator is me so i must be the problem. idk rant over

[cousticks]

my post finally got a little attention and y'all asked so here we go (thank you @the-gayest-sky-kid and @aroacesigma i owe you both my life)

so as i mentioned, concerts are basically therapy and a great mood booster right. so chuuya is normally in a pretty good mood after concerts. which, when you're ~16-17yr old chuuya, and your three emotions you're allowed to feel are anger, annoyance, and raw despair, that's kind of impressive. so dazai, who has probably never felt a positive emotion in his life (according to him), decides he wants to see what this whole live music thing is about. so he shows up with two already purchased tickets to some band he knows chuuya likes (because dazai keeps tabs on chuuya's interests so he can make fun of them, right, of course,)

now. chuuya isn't going to pass up free concert tickets, even if he has to drag dazai with him. dazai was going to go to a fucking concert in his dress shirt and slacks. chuuya had to prevent this because who dresses like that to a concert (unless you just came from a wedding. i've seen it.)

[ words are chuuya saying "you can't fucking wear that" and dazai starting to say "what's wrong with my clo-" ]

[ "-thes". arrow pointing says "one of Chuuya's hoodies lol" ]

[ disgruntled ]

dazai is bullied into a hoodie. he gets to keep his slacks.

now, for anyone that's never been to a concert, or has only been to stadium concerts, let me explain pits a little bit. in front of the stage is a very large mass of people standing very close to each other and getting covered in strangers' sweat, and not in a fun way. everyone is jumping and moving and very warm. everyone is screaming too. if you get closer to the center of the main pit, you'll find the moshers, which is basically playing human bumper cars and slamming into each other for fun. but like, really aggressively and throwing yourself into the crowd and back. the closer to the front you are, the more crowdsurfers get dropped on your head. if you have a problem, the fastest way out of a mosh pit is to crowdsurf out, where you find the nearest bro and point up like a child asking for uppies and then get passed/thrown forward until a security guard catches you and sends you on your way.

chuuya is telling dazai all about moshpits on the way to the concert. but at some point he says something along the line of "you don't have to get in though" which sounds like a fucking challenge, and dazai is no pussy and will tell chuuya as much, so of course they end up in the moshpit.

now. i believe dazai would fucking hate this. sure, dazai will obnoxiously get all chummy with people he already knows the behavior of, but in my Personal Opinion i really don't think he at this age would be particularly happy about a bunch of strangers jumping and sweating on him. he'd last three songs then a popular one would play and the crowd would go nuts, but he won't say "jesus christ get me the fuck out of here" directly, will he? so he's just standing stiffly in the middle of the moshpit trying not to lose where chuuya is (who is totally laughing at him) and just goes "i hate this."

now. remember the fastest way out of a moshpit? chuuya can tell dazai there's a fast way out but it'll kinda suck and dazai, who again is totally not going to be phased, can go "whatever just fucking do it" and without warning chuuya gets the help of the next guy over and throws dazai up to the crowd to surf him out.

dazai hates that. chuuya is laughing his ass off while eventually following him out. it was miserable.

dazai will never admit he had a little fun.

p.s. i was going to write this concept into a proper fic eventually (i promise i can write better than idea dumping) and still might but i'm too obsessed with the concept to wait until then

you cannot look at teenage chuuya nakahara and think he wouldn't go to concerts. that boy 100% uses those mafia paychecks on concert tickets. what else is he going to spend it on? luxuries? he doesn't know what those are yet. luxury to him is his mafia apartment with a weapons cabinet. i'm getting off topic, that's a different post.

so anyway, he goes to concerts, right? you cannot tell me otherwise. i'm talking emo-pop punk-rock-metalcore-vibe. you know he's in the mosh pits. they're a great mood booster. much less personal than therapy which is another plus. anyway, all this to say i have a very strong personal headcanon that he uses his ability to help crowd-surfers safely make it to the security up front without getting dropped (i've both been a crowdsurfer and have crowdsurfers dropped on me, surfing is fun but getting dropped sucks for everyone involved). under the concert lighting nobody would notice the ability glow very much anyway, and everything happens so fast nobody really cares.

tl;dr chuuya uses gravity manipulation to float crowdsurfers at concerts. i'm right

[serickswrites]

Good whumper bad whumper routine? One is touch, cruel and mean and the other is gentle, soft, creepily intimate. Both still technically bad... But ya know how perspective works lol

Oh, anon, you are really speaking to me. Like that is some good fucking soup here, folks. As we know, I enjoy two whumpers. I enjoy creepy/intimate whumpers. And this is like the best of both worlds. And I'm not going to tell you who whumpee thinks is the good whumper versus the bad whumper, as this is definitely a series and it will play out lol. Please enjoy!

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Warnings: captivity, restraints, torture, noncon, cruel whumper, creepy/intimate whumper

Whumpee slumped over in the chair. They had no energy to lift their head. Screaming for hours and trying to escape Whumper One's brass knuckles had left their wrists raw and bleeding from the rope and their body battered and bruised. It hurt to breath after Whumper One had taken two very strong uppercuts to their right side.

Whumpee tried not to cry as they realized Whumper One had only stopped because Whumper Two had called them for a meal. Whumper One had really been intending to beat them until they passed out.

Whumpee startled as the door opened. Not yet. It was too soon. Whumper Two stepped in, carrying a bowl of towels and a salve container on a tray. "Oh you are a mess." They smiled as they walked over to Whumpee.

"P-p-please," Whumpee rasped around their ragged throat.

"I'll make it all better." Whumper Two took one of the towels and pressed it to a particularly vicious looking bruise that was forming on Whumpee's left arm. The warm towel felt heavenly against their cool skin.

This had to be a trap. No way would Whumper Two be so kind to them. Whumper Two hummed as they worked, pressing warm towels to all the forming bruises on Whumpee's body.

"Thank you," Whumpee sighed as Whumper Two folded the last towel back in the bowl.

"Oh, the pleasure is mine," Whumper Two smiled again as they unscrewed the lid of the salve container.

"Oh, that's ok, I don't need--"

Whumper Two shushed Whumpee as they gathered the salve in their fingers. "It'll make you feel good." And they began to rub salve on Whumpee's bruised ribs. Long strokes. Soft strokes. Strokes that went up the length of Whumpee's ribs, fingers just brushing Whumpee's nipple.

"Please, it's ok." Whumpee's voice was barely audible as tears gathered in their eyes. Their breath caught as Whumper Two's fingers brushed the top of their trousers.

"I just want to make you feel good, Whumpee." Whumper Two never stopped. Their fingers continued to caress, gently, softly brushing parts of Whumpee that Whumper One hadn't touched.

Whumpee tilted their head back so Whumper Two couldn't see the tears in their eyes. Whumper Two continued to hum as they touched Whumpee ever so gently. Whumpee felt hot tears slide down the sides of their face as they realized this was their life now. Being beaten. Being touched. This was it.

[bluecookies02]

When they make you cry

pairings: Hawks x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Aizawa x Reader, Izuku x Reader, Tamaki x Reader

Tamaki, Bakugou and Hawks are in a female!reader perspective, the rest of them are Gender Neutral

warnings: angst to fluff

masterlist

Hawks will get cocky, laughing in your face when he sees your shocked expression.

Both of you were going at each others throats, spitting insults to one another, just your recent daily routine.

Now Hawks knew you were a tough gal, which in his head made it alright for him to strike a really painful nerve into your chest.

As you remained speechless he turned around, a winning smirk plastered on his lips.

Just as he took a few steps forward, sobs wrecked your body as you hid your face in your hands.

"I d-don't think I can take this anymore Keigo" your broken voice reached his ears.

A pang of guilt pierced his chest once he turned around to face you.

He did this. He made you cry. He completely drained your happiness out. He hurt you.

His teeth dug into his lip, his eyes stinging as tears picked at them.

At that point, he didn't give two shits about who's right and who's wrong, his arms reaching for you and wrapping themselves around your shaking form.

He held you there for a while, listening to your cries that gradually turned into soft sniffles against his chest.

"I-" He opens his mouth but his words remained stuck at his throat.

"I don't want us to end..." you mumbled, your own words throwing you into another sobbing fit.

"We won't end here kid, I've got you...shit...I'm a fucking idiot...of course we won't end sweetheart...c'mon look at me" he raised your chin up gently, looking into your red eyes.

"I'm sorry, fuck I'm sorry...not just for today, for every day before this, I-, God... don't leave kid, p-please"

You stared at his face, tears now streaming down his cheeks as his grip on you tightened.

You swallow the lump in your throat, grabbing his hands in yours.

"Something has to change Keigo...I miss you...we've been distant for months. Sometimes you don't even come home to me, do you know how that feels?"

"I know, I know, I swear... I miss you too. I'll tell you about everything I promise. Let's go home please."

You hesitantly nod, putting your heart on the line for the last time.

And now looking back, you're glad you did.

//quirk: flesh manipulation (the reader can manipulate the molecules in a person's flesh just by touching it, making them useful mid-battle to make the other heroes ready to fight again in a matter of seconds, but also making them a threat to their enemies )

If there was one thing he despised about you, it was your guts.

Hell curse him for falling in love with someone so stubborn.

To live through a relationship with Dabi meant that you had to have though skin. You had to be strong enough to bite your cheeks and endure the issues that people in regular relationships never face.

He enters your home, covered in bruises and cuts, asking for your first aid kit.

You sigh to yourself, your usual nagging and yelling never reaching his ears.

You place the first aid kit onto your bedside table, turning your back to him, tiredly walking out of the room.

"Hey-" his voice calls out to you, quiet and confused.

You close the door behind you, making your way to your couch.

One of these days it'll be the last time he walks into your home, the last time you help him clean his cuts and the last time you hear his voice.

The weight of uncertainty pulls at your chest harder with every passing day.

He chose to continue living like this, he is the one that keeps ruining his own life, it's his ambitions that are making you this miserable.

Once he patches himself up, he sits on your bed for a while. Your silance meaning one thing and one thing only. You finally realized how pointless being with him is, you finally got it through your thick skull that he's nothing special to dwell about.

Time passes by quickly, a few hours already gone yet he's still glued to the same spot, not having the strength to leave your room, too scared to face your rejection once he gets out.

He should be happy for you, you won't be hurting anymore, you'll be able to find someone better.

He slowly twists the knob, taking slow steps through your living room.

You are laying on your couch, tear stains on your face and a tissue crumbled in your hand.

His chest tightenes at the sight. You cried yourself to sleep. He wonders... how many times did you cry over him? How many times would you just lay here as he carelessly roamed the streets?

He should leave...he should spare you the pain he brings. You were the only good thing in his life and by continuing this he'll ruin you, piece by piece.

You showed nothing but kindness to him, you made him realize that some people are worth getting close to, you being a hero also making his resolves shake under his feet.

He stretched his arm out to your cheek, careful not to wake you up.

He left a soft kiss to your temple before leaving your house.

-----

You woke up to a persistent ring of your doorbell.

You felt terrible...your hair was a mess, your nose was all clogged up and your eyes burned from all the crying.

You opened your door with annoyance, mad at whoever decided to burst your sadness bubble.

"Hey doll, I would've let myself in but my hands are kinda busy"

Your boyfriend stood there with a backpack on his shoulder and a carton box in his hands.

"So...do you happen to have a room to spare for a year or two...maybe three?"

You stare in disbelief your hand covering your mouth.

"I know that me being a villain might be a setback but...I got some hair dye? I might even consider letting you fix my jigsaw face."

Your body crashed into his, the box dropping to the ground as you squeezed your arms around him.

Maybe he can make you as happy as you make him.

You knew he was rough around the edges, but you never even imagined that you would be the one his rage would be directed at.

As soon as insults came crashing your way you left the room.

You were just trying to calm him down, placing your hand on his shoulder as you urged him to stop shouting and just let it go.

His rough hands grabbed yours, throwing your hand away like you were a mere fly, his quirk burning your skin.

You tried calling out to him just for him to snap around and scream at you.

Once you reached your dorm tears freely rolled down your cheeks.

You yearned for a normal relationship, longed for some peace and quiet just for a week or two.

Yet you just couldn't let the blonde go, always hoping for some miracle to come your way and take ahold of his ego.

--------

It's around 2 am and he can't fall asleep for the hell of it.

You're not picking up his calls nor answering his texts and you've been inactive on social media for hours.

Kirishima has been urging him to go to your dorm for two hours already, spamming him massages about him not being manly enough to win you back.

It's not like he doesn't want to, he just has no idea how to. Should he get you something? Get you some food and flowers? Where the fuck can he find all these things at 2 am? Isn't that how people in movies apologize or something...

He hates when you're mad at him, he is scared shitless of actually scaring you off and pushing you away.

A knock at your door snaps you out of your thoughts and a small flame of hope warms your heart for a split second as you make your way to your door.

He's holding a gray hoodie and a pair of bento boxes.

"That's not gonna fix it Katsuki."

"I know shitty woman you didn't even give me a chance to speak!"

You're sure that that's the first time Bakugou said the word "sorry" in his whole life.

The way it rolled off his tongue was shaky but somewhat determined, his hand grabbing ahold of yours gently.

Guilt was evident on his face as he stroked the bandages covering your hands.

"It's not that bad Katsu, and I understand that it was an accident." you mumbled trying to pull from his grip so he can focus on something else.

He grabbed ahold of your wrists, bringing your palms to his lips.

"I'll work on it, I promise. It'll never happen again. I mean it." you just give a soft nod, leading him to the table.

"Good. Now let's eat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" you cheered, opening the bentos and stuffing your mouth with rice.

"Y/N...it's 4 am."

"Exactly, now eat, you're not gonna let me eat all of this by myself?!"

For this man, it was close to impossible to make his s/o cry.

He cherishes the relationship he has with you, making you feel special every single day at a time.

So when he sees you crying, he's confused and alarmed.

He reaches for you, trying his best to give you the comfort he thinks you need.

When you push his hands away and scream at him...Oh boy...

He's terrified.

Did he do something? Did he forget your anniversary? Your birthday? Did he eat your snack from the fridge??

You're pulling at the strands of your hair, your head buried into your knees as you sob.

He looks around, eyes widening when he sees a photo of himself and some girl kissing on the screen of your phone.

He wasn't there? He has proof! He was in a meeting! All of his colleagues could confirm that, he just needs you to listen! Please listen to him.

He's talking...blabbering...begging for you to just look at him.

As soon as you look up for a split second, he's hugging you, smothering your face in kisses as you weakly try to push him away.

Finally he leans his forehead against yours, letting out a long sigh of relief when he realizes that you're not crying anymore.

"Please Shouta, please, if you even have any respect for me, don't lie to me." you mumble out coldly, turning your head from him.

"Y/N, I would never, ever do that to you! Never! I love you so much, please, you have to know that, you do know that!"

You're too stubborn, but he calls all of his colleges one by one, putting them on speaker for you, asking about the time of the meeting or details of the meeting and they all have the same answer.

So now, your throat is dry and there's a lump in your throat, guilt eating at you as you try to apologize.

He couldn't give two shits about any of that, all he has to know is that you're okay and that you're still his.

He's not letting you go for the rest of the day, you're wrapped under the blankets with him as he makes sure you never believe the bullshit you see online.

"Sweetheart if I ever cheat on you, that's the day I cut my own dick off and bleed to death."

It makes you giggle and then laugh hysterically and he's just looking at you with the biggest heart eyes 🥺

Izuku would never do anything to make you cry.

He pays attention to every single detail in your relationship and he especially pays attention to your feelings.

What he is really bad at, is taking care of himself.

He doesn't take in consideration how you feel when he comes home all stitched up and tired, or how he stays up late to train and push himself further than his body can take.

However one day, he is exhausted from his training and he barely has any strength left. His phone rings and he is rushing out the door, already panting.

You don't reach him in time to stop him, so here you are, hours later next to his hospital bed.

The villain wasn't too powerful, but his state caused him to pass out in the middle of the bettle field.

As soon as he wakes up, you're yelling at him, but at the same time sobbing against his chest.

"I can't just stand here and watch you hurt yourself Zuku... I can't, I can't, I can't....O-one of these days you're just gonna slip away from my hands, I can't. Please" You're grip on him softens as you loose the strength in your hands.

His arms wrap themselves around you, trying his best not to flinch as you rub against his bandages.

His eyes are watering, realization dawning on him as he holds your tired body against him.

You're right...He sees the state of himself after a lowlife villain with a pathetic quirk sent him into the hospital. He doesn't even want to think about what would've happened if there was someone much stronger out there.

"Hey Y/N...I-...I might take a week off, to rest yeah? Does that sound good?"

You nod, wiping away the tears as you sniffle.

"And you won't be training at night anymore. And you won't be staying up late!" you scold as he rubs your cheeks.

"I won't. I promise." he places a kiss at your temple, pulling you onto the hospital bed next to him.

"Let's sleep for a bit yeah? I might owe you a few hours..."

You're crying, he's crying.

He's down on one knee and he's stuttering, his hands shaking as he hears you cry out a happy "Yes".

He barely gets the ring on your finger, burying his head into your neck as soon as he gets to his feet.

You always thought that he was going to propose to you at home, maybe some homecooked dinner with roses and candles. You didn't mind that option either.

You were surprised that he even suggested a walk in the park.

I mean, it was a really small park with little to no people in the area but it was beautiful nonetheless.

You're all giddy and happy as he takes your hand in his, his eyes always glancing at the ring on your finger.

Once you spot an ice cream stand you leap in happiness, rushing to get ice cream for the both of you.

The lady selling it smiles brightly at you.

"Is that the lucky guy?" you nod grabbing your icecream as Tamaki hides behind you.

"Good job sweetheart, you're making this lady very happy, I can feel it in my old bones" you laugh at her remark as you nudge Tamaki forward.

She hands him his ice cream and winks at him.

He's blushing and thanking the lady before running off to an empty bench.

”He’s a lil’ shy but he's got the spirit” you say to the lady as you rush off to get him.

You take the time to really study the ring, the beautiful blue crystal shining in the sun.

”I...I hope you l-like it...Nejire helped me out. Uhm I probably shouldn't have said that...S-she-"

"I like it Tama...I love it actually" you place a gentle kiss just at the corner of his lips, his hands grabbing your cheeks and kissing you deeply in return.

His cheeks are warm and his lips are slow against yours but you melt against him, letting him place you in his lap.

"Oh my God, I have a fiancé, oh my God, I have to call Mirio and tell him you said yes. You said yes, right?"

You laugh as you shake your head at him, playing with his hair as he fumbles with his phone.

All of the pictures are from the original anime/manga (please do correct me if I'm wrong in the comments below)

The Tamaki one has no angst in it because I had to heal from all of the emotional rollercosters.

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