#i know it’s not supposed to be like a test

[marvelfanfics1]

Scary Admirer

Pairing: dark!daddy!rafe x kook!little!reader

Warnings: age regression, dark themes, murder, stalking, reader is naive

A/N: not sure if I like this 😭 but omg thank you sm for 4,3k followers 🥹🫶🏻

Rafe laid eyes on you two months ago when he spotted you at a party, admiring you dance and twirl in your pastel colored dress, two small bows decorating your simple hairstyle.

You seemed so soft, such a contrast to his appearance and personality which is the reason he felt so drawn to you in the first place.

In that very night he introduces himself to you, putting on his charming smile as he holds out his hand. "Rafe Cameron, nice to meet you..." He trails off and you tell him your name with an adorable smile, shaking his hand.

He repeats your name in a murmer, testing it on his tongue.

Since then he made it his mission to get to know you more, not that you already share practically everything with him because you feel like you can trust him.

Your friends keep warning you to stay away from him, saying that the kook prince is bad news and that you should be wary of him.

Despite your better judgement you think that they just don't really know him, I mean he's so nice to you since the beginning and there must be a reason he shows that certain side of him to you only.

You like Rafe and you both start getting closer, spending time with each other but you're just friends doing things they normally do, right?

Oh if only you knew his true intentions.

Rafe studies everything you do, your routines, appointments, the people you surround yourself with and he goes furious anytime he sees you talking to a pogue, especially if it's a man, you being your usual bubbly self while that prick keeps staring at your chest shamelessly.

He often has to protect you as he claims, scolding you for being too trusting with everyone and suggest that you should stay near him for your own safety.

When the news of recent killings in Kildare goes around about witnesses who saw a person completely dressed in black and wearing a ghostface mask leaving the crime scenes, you started to not leave your house as much as before, avoiding going out after it gets dark.

The thing that scares you the most is that you have some kind of connection to every person that has been killed.

Since those deaths you've been regressing a lot more due to the fear and stress that comes with anytime you turn on your tv or scroll on your phone because no one can stop talking about it.

It took Rafe three weeks to find out about your age regression, only able to confirm his suspicion after you started inviting him over more often and he got the possibility to go through your room whenever you left to either go to the bathroom or get something.

He went through everything.

Your drawers where he found a certain one that only held more childish clothes with different prints and all in pastel colors.

Under your bed where he found a box decorated with stickers and took a peek of its contents, a smirk forming on his face when he sees a set of pacifiers, coloring books and crayons, stickers, and a bottle.

"Interesting..." He mutters, quickly pushing the box back under your bed when he hears your footsteps approaching the room again.

One evening you lay on your stomach on your plush bed and coloring contently in your hello kitty books with some crayons sprawled around, not knowing about the dark figure looming in your yard and watching you through your window.

Rafe smiles as he sees you reaching under your bed to retrieve a pacifier from your secret box, slipping it into your mouth.

He pulls out his phone, his mask and knife held in his other hand as he snaps a few pictures of you.

You're blissfully unaware of your supposed friend being literally outside, too engrossed in your littlespace.

Outside Rafe sees you getting up from your bed and over to your attached bathroom, closing the door behind you. That was his chance.

Rounding the house to the front door he crouches down for the spare key that he knows is hidden under the mat.

After finishing your night routine in the bathroom you open the door again, yawning as you approach your bed, stopping in your tracks at the printed out pictures laying on your bed.

Taking a better glance at them your heart beats faster when you realize they're all pictures of you...some where you're in your room, others from when you were walking around Kildare or at parties, and what made your stomach drop was the ones where you obviously were in littlespace.

"Nice shots, don't you think?" A sudden low distorted voice from behind you has you freezing and before you could react, a hand clamped over your mouth, a broad chest pressing against your back. "Shh, shh, none of that."

You whimper in fear, instinctively reaching up to grasp onto the arm that was holding you against the stranger.

"I've been watching you for a while now, y'know. Tell me, isn't it tiring to take care of yourself? To know that no one will be good enough to be your daddy?" He asks and you feel tears pricking in your eyes. "All those idiots I got rid of just because they didn't know how to treat someone as special as you..."

Your muffled pleading makes him chuckle, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

"Imma let go of you now, but don't try and think of anything stupid, got it?" He warns you, his hold on you a little firmer and you nod shakily. "Good girl."

He takes off his mask, throwing it on the bed before he pulls his hand away, taking a step back. Even if you wanted you wouldn't get out a single sound, too afraid to even move.

The you so thought stranger places a hand on your shoulder, slowly turning you to face him and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach at who's standing in front of you. "R-Rafe?"

You take a hesitant step back, the back of your knees hitting your bed. "I- I don't understand...wha-"

"I know, but you don't need to worry." He speaks softly, stepping closer and reaching a hand up to trace the side of your face with his fingers, grabbing your chin to tilt your head up slightly to meet his gaze, a smile creeping on his face.

He gently wipes a tear from your cheek with his thumb, leaning down to kiss your forehead, the action meant to be comforting but the words that leave him do the opposite.

"Daddy's here now..."

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For Rafe:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer

[aliesbienish]

The idea was good, the execution not so much

Established Buddie x Reader, ft our fave Diaz Chris. You and Chris plan a surprise for the boys, it doesn't quite go to plan.

The house was quiet when Eddie and Buck arrived home from a 24 hour shift. Usually when they finished at a reasonable hour they came home to hustle and bustle. You and Chris generally had music playing as you cooked up a storm throughout the kitchen.

Instead it was almost eerie silent in their house, in fact if it wasn’t for your car parked in the driveway they’d assume no one was home.

Buck shrugged at Eddie as they made the way down the hallway, peering in doors as they passed. It wasn't till they opened the door to the living room that they found any signs of life. Twinkling fairy lights were hung across the walls, basking the room in a light golden glow. Soft instrumental music was playing gently from the speaker and the table was set for four.

"What's going on?" Eddie whispered to his partner, Buck for his part looking just as bewildered. "Where are they?"

Buck shook his head in confusion, making his way into the living room. He spotted you and Chris pretty quickly, both sunk into the sofa fast asleep. Eddie followed him over and both men couldn't help the grin when they saw their partner and son, clearly accidentally napping while waiting for the boys to come home.

"Hi mijo," Eddie whispered, gently pulling Chris from your embrace and into his arms. "Dad! Bucky! You're home," He whispered wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Mom and I were supposed to surprise you, we didn't mean to fall asleep,"

"We can see that superman." Buck whispered, "What's the big surprise?"

"Ay dios mio," Eddie suddenly exclaimed, staring down at Chris in shock.

"What Eds?" Buck questioned.

"Look at Chris' shirt Ev,"

Chris grinned stretching out so Buck could read it properly. There sprawled across his tiny chest were the words 'BEST BIG BROTHER'.

"Oh my god," Buck gasped, mouth opening and closing but no other words coming out.

"Surprise," You whispered nervously, having woken up from your nap to Eddie's shout of shock. Both boys whipped around to face you, as you grinned sheepishly.

"Baby, is this true? It's not a prank right?" Buck whispered, placing his hand across your stomach like he already expected a big bump to be there.

"It is, I found out yesterday. Chris and I had a big plan to tell you both, there's even a bun sitting in the oven," When Evan got a look of concern on his face you followed up with "the oven is turned off, I promise."

"You're sure? About being pregnant I mean."

"Positive, literally." Handing over multiple tests to each of the boys, all with the same result. "Chris was actually the one who mentioned it, I may be slightly bias but I think our son is a genius,"

"So Amy from school, her Mom is pregnant too and she was talking about how she is feeling sick and getting tired more often." Chris chattered happily, "So then when Mom was like that the last week I thought that maybe she was."

"That's great superman," Buck said absentmindedly.

You couldn't help but notice that Eddie hadn't even spoken yet, and Buck's tone was making you worried. While you had discussed expanding your family before, it was always talked about in the vague future and the idea that maybe they weren't ready was chewing you up.

"Hey Chris honey, I think you should get the card we made for your dads! I think it's sitting in your bedroom." He excitedly agreed, giving you a short time to talk to your partners.

"I know this is a shock, but is this okay? It's sudden but I love you both soo much and.."

"Baby," Buck interrupted, wrapping you in his arms. "this is the greatest gift you could ever give me. I can't wait to have another child with you two, honestly I can't wait to see Chris as a big brother." You sighed in relief knowing at least one of your partners was on board.

"Eds?" Buck whispered while directing the other mans head up gently with his hand and gently placing a kiss on his forehead. You both noticed the tears in his eyes as he struggled for words.

"I am so so grateful to you [y/n], for allowing me the opportunity to get to be a dad to another child again. I love you more than words can express." Tears of happiness began to fall down your cheeks as he pressed a soft peck to your lips and place his hand gently on your belly.

"And Buck, I can't wait to watch you be a Dad to this baby. You are an amazing parent to Chris but I am honored to be a dad with you again to this baby, to get to watch you Buck, and you too [y/n], get to experience every little moment together. Between us and Chris this baby is going to be so loved and cherished,"

Buck and Eddie wrapped you between them in a hug, whispering words of excitement and joy. You only parted when Chris came back in the room, a grin on his face as he thrust the card towards Eddie and Buck.

"Here" he grinned, passing over the card with the front reading '10 reasons why going to the zoo will help me be a better big brother!'

[honey-flustered]

Kinktober Day 18: Aphrodisiac + Oral Fixation + Body Hair

Eddie Brock | Venom x Ex!Younger!F!Reader

Summary: Venom uses honey from your purse to whip up some tea for you and Eddie while helping you study. Little did he know, that honey has some…interesting side effects.

Warnings: dub con elements, exes to friends to lovers, accidental aphrodisiac, sub!eddie x horny!reader, consumption, teratophillia, not lore accurate, oral fixation (licking, biting), some scratching, oral through underwear, premature ejaculation, body hair kink, some hair pulling, threeway kiss, venom and reader are in cahoots, french kissing, some dry humping, age gap +18 reader, bimbo!reader, basically whole lot of tongue action

To this day, 7 months later, Venom still curses Eddie for letting you go. Blah, blah…she’s young and going to university…blah blah…new experiences. If long distance is really that hard, why is it that it only took Eddie 3 hours to drive to your dorm? If he was committed to your throupling, he’d make the commute everyday to see you.

But Ole Venom supposes he shouldn’t be too hard on Eddie. After all, he’s attentive enough to Venom where he notices his changes in mood. Especially when Venom’s in one of those depressive states where he desperately misses you; with the occasional breaking of items to cope with his pained feelings. Whenever he’d get this way, Eddie would take them up go a trip to you and you’d be the three musketeers.

This weekend being a three-day weekend excited Venom for things he had in store. He’s determined to win you back even in spite of what Eddie says because sometimes he just needs a push in the right direction.

Venom likes to think he’s become that of an expert at romance, having read enough gossip magazines and advice columns to say as such. He knows the love languages and he’ll be sure to use his tongue precisely for speaking them to you.

Yeah, he knows Eddie’s been suspicious of his saint behavior since their arrival—the rules were clear not to make any plans of winning you back—but Venom’s entitled to a little bit of rule-breaking. He hovers around, content as he watches Eddie and you laughing during your study session. If he sets the mood just right, things would get more intimate.

He then recalls a fact he’d gotten from an issue of Chic Heat Magazine that explains how tea can make people more susceptible to suggestion because it calms you. If you’re relaxed enough, you might take them back.

So he excuses himself to the kitchen, preparing some rose tea for you all to enjoy. You’d just run out of honey but you had some packets he’d noticed in your bag earlier, hopefully you don’t mind.

Once he returns to the circle, you beam at his gesture. “V…you are such a cutie. Thank you so much.”

“I wouldn’t say that too soon,” Eddie says in a tone that is both jest and serious. “We’ll check the state of the kitchen in a minute.”

You shrug. “No worse than the state I left it in.”

“You’ve gotta be more responsible, babygirl.” He frustratedly sighs.

“I’m studying. That’s pretty big for me,” You defend. “Usually I’d just flirt with the T.A. for the test answers or cram the day of. But I’ve been trying because you said I could do it.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Really proud of you, buddy.” He says, patting your knee and earning a smile from you.

Then, you’re taking a sip of your tea wanting to give Venom the praise he deserves. Your eyes brighten soon as the first sip stains your tongue and goes down your throat . “This is really good, V. Seriously. I couldn’t have done this better myself. What’d you put in it?”

“Honey…” He begins.

“Oh, I could’ve sworn I ran out—”

“…the ones in your purse.” He finishes.

Your eyes nearly leave your skull. “H-how many?”

“5,” He answers proudly. “Wanted to make it extra special for you.”

“Oh, it’s extra special alright.” You say with a nervous laugh.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asks in concern.

“Mhm,” You hum between a strained toothless smile. “L-let’s go back to studying, yeah?”

“What’s in those things?” Eddie questions, his investigative nature getting the better of him.

“Nothing to be concerned about…” Your words escape you when you see that Venom has already retrieved the emptied packet for Eddie to review.

“Sweet Honey Rush? You said you wouldn’t intern with these guys,” Eddie says. “Didn’t you read my story on them secretly being behind these campaigns for increasing the national birth rate. I sent you a link on Facebook. We’re like breeding stock to them.”

“No person younger than 35 uses facebook anymore, Eddie,” You argue. “And besides they were offering some really good benefits if I interned with them.”

“Like getting free honey packets?”

“They aren’t for me…they’re for me to give out to some college students. It’s the new craze. Everyone’s talking about. There’s even a challenge of it on TikTok. You wanna see?” You’re about to pull out your phone but he stops you.

“Don’t you see that they’re purposely targeting the younger population?” Eddie scoffs.

“No, I think I gave one to my pervy old maintenance man,” You justify but Eddie shakes his head in disbelief at you. “Oh come on. It’s not like they’re as good as you think them to be. Venom said he’s added five and you don’t see me on all fours with my tongue out, do you?”

“I guess you’re right.” He says.

“Good. Now pretty please read me the next chapter.”

He smiles. “Of course.”

Venom is stumped. This is not at all going the way he’d planned. Instead of relaxing, it’s only made things more tense between the two of you. He was going to need to intervene internally.

“It’s taking effect.” Venom says from within.

“How are you so sure?” Eddie answers back into the mindscape.

“Come on, Eddie, I know it’s been months. But tell me you haven’t forgotten the way she looks when she really, really wants you,” Venom purrs. “Look at those eyes glossing over, darkening when she rakes them over you. She’s biting her lip—ha! She isn’t paying attention to your words.”

“You’re wrong. It’s nothing like that.” Eddie says trying to maintain focus by reading to you.

“I’ve been inside her once,” Venom continues. “I can sense the changes in her body even long after we’ve separated.”

“She’s just fine.” Eddie says in clear denial.

“Then ask her if she heard what you just said. Better yet ask her anything, she’ll probably say ‘yes’ to it all if it meant having our cock inside her.” Venom chuckles wickedly.

He’s reluctant, not wanting to embarrass you, but Eddie tests Venom’s theory anyway in hopes to quell his curiosity. Why on Earth would you want them back when you had so many different options at college? The sooner Eddie could disprove his claims, the sooner they can put aside that hopeful part of them that thinks the relationship could work.

“Hey, um, by any chance do you wanna share a jar of olives together?” He asks.

“Yes.” You sigh dreamily.

He perplexedly blinks at your reply to his absurd question. You hated olives.

“Babygirl, are you paying attention?” He asks.

“Mhm.” You nod still looking at him as if he hung up the stars. And now that Venom pointed it out, Eddie, too, could see your telltale sign in just the way you clenched your thigh together alone.

“Oh, really,” He asks, cupping a hand under your chin; his fingertips dimpling your cheeks. “What did I just read to you?”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?”

“We’re studying American History, angel.” He smirks.

“Sorry, daddy,” You say, taking them completely off guard. Eddie hates how he instantly hardens at thought as if he’d taken the aphrodisiac, too. “Can I make it up to you? Taste you.”

“Yes!” Venom says.

“No,” Eddie protests. “You’re not in the right state of mind, missy. You’re going to bed, if you decide to take care of yourself on your own that’s your choice. In the morning if you still feel like you want to, then we can—”

“It’s only an aphrodisiac, dude. Not a drug. I’m not out of my mind for wanting you inside me. Both of you.”

“We’re in!” Venom says ready to reach out for you but Eddie smacks his dark tendril from your reach.

“No, we’re—” Eddie’s cut off by your lips on his. Somehow, Venom was able to sneak his mischievous tentacles around and bring your heads together.

You immediately get to work french kissing him passionately and tugging the hair on the back of his neck. His beard burns your face from the rough friction of the make-out session but it doesn’t deter you from being more forceful.

Venom’s tongue joins into the entanglement flicking and gliding between you and Eddie’s tongues, gathering a mixture of your salivas.

When Eddie breaks the kiss, you’re at his thick neck licking and biting away while Venom’s eager tongue, slithered and constricted around your body like vines.

“Stop. You don’t…” Eddie’s interrupted by yet another one of your lingering wanton kisses, finishing his sentence once you break apart. “…want this.”

“I’ve never stopped wanting you,” You suck on the space connect jaw and his neck before dragging your teeth along the vein. “Please fuck me.”

Eddie’s still too afraid to answer, cradling the back of your head while your lips and tongue continue their assault on his body.

“Fuck, babygirl,” He groans, missing this feeling of you devouring him as if he were a buffet. You and Venom were always big tongue enthusiasts wanting to put your mouths around anything that attracted you including Eddie.

His eyes flutter shut and you crawl into his lap, grinding your hips down while you tasted what you could. You pay special attention to his plump lips, licking and biting them.

“Can I go further?” You ask him.

“You heard Venom—”

“What do you want?”

“I want you.”

At his admission you moan, not being able to take it anymore. You and Venom work in sync. He begins to remove Eddie’s clothes while each sink that’s exposed you go over it with your tongue.

Eddie’s really hairy so occasionally your tongue would run over a patch of hair and you’d give it special attention.

“Fuck, I think I might actually cum from this alone,” He laughs bashfully, surprising himself. “I’m so sensitive for some reason.”

You dip your tongue into his belly-button, swirling it around before your tongue finally trails down to his throbbing bulge. It jumps in his khaki shorts the moment you place your tongue’s pressure directly on it. He shudders, his fingers through your hair.

The feverish heat of the effects take over you just as you pass the first barrier, bringing his pants down around his ankles. Venom lifts you by the waist for a moment, adding a pillow underneath for your knees. You run your fingers along the underside of his tentacles—where it’s most sensitive for him—as a thank you.

You’re not gentle at all once you spot the wet spot on Eddie’s underwear. He’d cum already and had been too ashamed to speak up. He could already see you making an old man joke about him needing the honey packet more than you but instead you went for his soul.

Immediately, you clamp your mouth around the clothed tip to suck at the sticky essence. It’s so sensitive he could cry, it’s as if the aphrodisiac is giving him a contact high.

He tries to pull your hungry mouth from him but is thwarted when Venom wraps a snaky limb around his wrists, pinning him down.

“Oh god, fuck. Baby…please.” Eddie whimpers.

You drag your nails along his little belly, gripping and pulling the tiny hairs of his happy trail while you sucked him off. Another one of Venom’s tendrils finds their way between your legs, teasing your little nub. You let out a shuddery gasp, your warm breath skirting over his now exposed veiny length.

You trace your tongue on the lightning-patterned cock, tasting the addictive earthiness of him. You’re gushing wet and ready to their cock and Venom could very well slip a wriggling tendril inside of you this instant…

…but he’d rather Eddie get first dibs.

[lustlovehart]

I'm more curious about the reverse!Monster au, how are the others test boys and Fellow honest and Skully are like in this version?

I like to believe they’re generally the same as the dorm leaders actually. Unlike regular Monster!Twst who have the 7 wonders as the biggest wanted bounty in the monster hunter field, as well as their pesky magic capabilities, the seven in Reverse Monster!Twst, are basically regular people who are just highly capable at their jobs. The same thing goes for everyone else, they don’t have the super abilities their monster counterparts have, so they’re regular people as well. I can give a general consensus on how all of them meet readers though!

Pairings: Fellow, Skully, Neige, Chenya, Heartslaybul, Savanclaw, Octavinelle, Pomefiore, Diasmonia x Reader

First however, We should go over the others, as some of them aren’t officially apart of the Monster Hunters. Also, there is 100% spelling errors in here, so sorry!! Reversed

These men are supposed to be Monster hunters… So why… Why do they act more fiendish than a Monster like you?!?

Fellow - A con artist on sages quarter who regularly scams people on the streets. Karma catches up to him when he finds you hiding in the shadows, attempting to sell you a fake artifact, only for him to catch a closer look at you, and realize you’re the monster the Hunter organization has been looking for. He should run, but the closer he looks at you… You’d be quite the attraction… Many people would pay to see the all-famed beast in a cage! Synopsis: To which Fellow pathetically attempts to catch you, realizing as time goes on, maybe there’s more to you than just money… Leading to his obsession.

Skully - The information logger of the organization. He doesn’t hunt any monsters down but collects info brought back to make records. He's been obsessed with knowing more about you, as your existence is shrouded in mystery. Imagine his surprise when he’s working late at night, only to look up and realize his (few) pictures of you are missing! His long limbs stumble over to search, he trips when the feeling of a monstrous trait lies on the ground. He’s prepared to run out when he stops and finally realizes who’s sitting there. You look down at him, your eyes following his every movement. Well now… Now that he knows it's you and not some random, how could he ever let those other Hunters defile you?! Synopsis: Skully finds the love (or monster) of his dreams in his decrepited study room! Now all he must do is hide you away from everyone else… But how is he supposed to do that when you won’t even answer what you’re doing there?

Neige - A support Hunter, who rather than do the hunting, acts as medical backup on the field. There’s not much to complain about when it comes to him, unlike the other factions. People like the 7 Highers and their upper ranks are looked upon with admiration for their skill, but in the same breath spat at due to their more than disagreeable personalities. Not Neige though, he’s the only sweet person in the field. This is why his co-workers are in shock when they succumb to their wounds, watching Neige tend to the monster who has practically sent them to their graves. Neige looks back with a sad smile, but when he turns it shifts to a smile with great joy. Synopsis: The only healer in the work field, realizes he recognizes you, perhaps from a dream, or maybe another world. But all he remembers is how much he strived to find you again in this reality, slowly abandoning his life, in turn, to live this new one with you.

Chenya- The weird citizen who somehow always finds you. No matter how many trees, rocks, or even heads you throw at him, he just always seems to come back with a smile on his face. He’s not a part of the monster organization hunting you down, but he isn’t normal either. All you know is his name is Chenya, and he wants… You don’t know what he wants but he’s always there! You wonder if he’s a monster too, but the way he answers no so casually tells you he is just a regular human. So why is he everywhere??? Synopsis: This human holds too much mystery to be sure of his motives, but one thing is for sure, he has a great interest in always staying by you.

Heartslaybul Upper Ranks- They find out about you when they follow Riddle one day on a private job. The moment they see him confront you they silently cheer him on, completely expecting their tyrant of a unit leader to immediately behead you upon sight. When he doesn’t they’re left in a state of confusion, only further enriching the feeling when Riddle doesn’t kill you, but cages you. You escape his grasp once more and all of them overhear the way he whispers.

“I shall not let you escape…!” Now they’re curious as to why Riddle is so set on taking you, not because of the rules of his job, but because of his wants. You’ve successfully swayed the strict Rule-Followers heart, it only makes sense his soldiers have grown curious about you… They scramble away when Riddle walks in their direction, though now that they look closer… Are his cheeks blushed red? Ace’s snickers immediately alert their leader's attention, his face instead red with anger. “Are you the reason they’re gone?!” They’re all quick to run as Trey attempts to calm him. Surely, it can’t be that serious, You’ll get that monster next time! Trey is the only one who hears Riddles's confession of not beheading you, but rather… No, this should be a secret between them.

Ace and Deuce - Officially meet you on a mission, where their luck randomly has them crossing paths with a disguised you. When that cloak falls, the beginning of their infatuation is sparked. They can finally see you up close… and now they finally understand why Riddle is so obsessed with you. Ace throws a quick smirk at Deuce, silently communicating a plan. They feign worry as they pose as travelers, worried about your safety. They’re lucky you assume them to be innocent merchants and not secret hunters. However… are merchants usually this close to their clients? They’re basically breathing on you…!

Trey and Cater - You sneak into Trey’s part time bakery on Sages quarter, attempting to try all the food you have never tried. The both of them are assume you’re just a random monster that showed up, giving them extra work. They’re proven wrong when they instead find you. They’re quick to put away their weapons and beckon you over with sweet promises.

Savanaclaw Upper Ranks- First introduced to to the idea of you when they see Leona covered in scratches and bruises, they assume he either went out on a mission, or something else entirely. Their suspicions are proven wrong when they quietly hear Leona mumble your name, kicking rocks as he plans his future trap for his prey (you, though, not even Leonas sure if he can can call you prey. The moment he catches you, he already knows he’s gonna treat you way better than the meat slabbed on his plate). They remember the name quickly, a top rated bounty. Jack is proud at their unit leaders strong strive that hasn’t been seen in so long, while Ruggies wondering if there’s a way for him to get some of that money. One thing is sure, Leona certainly has them interested in you too (accidently).

“Damn monster�� Ruinin’ my sleep…” The two of them watch Leona glare at a flower. They think he’s gonna sand it down to dust. They’re thrown off when he plucks it and pockets with a swiftness that’s honestly funny. Now they need to know who has their unit leader so starstruck.

Jack & Ruggie - Meet you when they’re training. It’s pure chance when the leaves of a tree rustle, a body falling out of its branches. They rush over, assuming it to be an innocent towns person who most likely broke a rib or two. They’re frozen when the body picks its head up, the pretty sight of the most heinous monster in existence (you) blinking at them in a daze. Ruggie laughs as he leans you on his shoulder. Well, now he doesn’t think he wants thatbounty money anymore. Jack was never in it for the reward, but he can’t deny he thinks the same as Ruggie.

Ocatvinelle Upper Ranks- They’re already aware of you from the get go. They were both hiding behind a tree as they witness Azuls first meeting with you. So, in a sense, their first meeting with you was right then, beating Azul with dark bruises before fading into shadows. They never tell him about their excursion though, acting oblivious when Azul vents to them about his encounter with you. Ohh…! He really thought he could get you…! They nod along, subtly feeding into his confidence. My, and they thought he only wanted the status! To think you changed Azul from just one meeting alone… You are quite the entertainer.

“I’ll get them next time…!” Azul slams his fist down on the desk, his weapons clattering at the impact. Usually, he would care about such damages, it’s expensive furniture! But the look on his face is something entirely different, as if he couldn’t care about that fortune anymore. What would it matter if he can’t lavish you in it? He buries his head in his hands, glancing over at the golden conch on his table. Monster like shiny things don’t they? Perhaps you’ll come out to him when you see it’s glimmer. Jade and Floyd giggle as Azul scrambles to form a basket of glittery objects. Jade shines the gold necklace in his hand, it’s comforting to know they all had the same idea~

Jade & Floyd - They finally meet you face to face after such a long time of only knowing your elusive nature, all because they flashed diamond and gold in the moons light. Despite the way you snarl and throw insults at them, they don’t seem fazed one bit. “Ehh, Shrimpy’s kinda pretty up close huh?” Jade nods along. That uniform of theirs looks familiar... That slimy hunter..! Though… You think you might prefer him over these two…

Pomefiore Upper Ranks- Another pair (#3) who stalk their unit leader. Though, Completely unwilling for Epel. The sight of a disheveled bruised and beaten Vil is distraughting for Rook, he’s only narrowly held back by Epel who clings to him. He whispers warnings to the blonde, if you got out there you’ll die! But to let a comrade in arms perish despite being so near must be a much more horrible fate! He’s already pulling back the string of his bow to kill an ugly beast like you. But then, Vil ducks out of the way, the moonlight hitting you, and allowing both of them to see the sight Vil saw so up close. The bow drops down as Rook gasps. My... You are the epitome of beauty.

“How horrible…” Vil sits up from the dirty spot on the floor, dusting off his uniform. Rook and Vil are ready to run up to him, but stop when they notice Vil lift an object up to the light, a sadistic laugh of victory escaping his throat. “Yet amazing.” a bottle of crimson liquid illuminates with the moon behind it. “You and I, should be the fairest together.” he covers the glass container in a sack. “But first, I should strive to become much fairer.” Epel is left quirking an eyebrow at a teary eyed Rook. He doesn't know why… But he feels like Rook wants to both hunt you, and court you.

Epel & Rook - Meet you because of Rook somehow picking up your disguised figure in an overpacked crowd. You’re unsuspecting to the hunters that lurk behind you, wanderingly aimlessly in your next feast. You’re about to open your mouth and take your first bite of a meal, when a gloved hand covers your mouth and brings you into the body heat. A mysterious blonde man look at you with a smile while he tugs. Non non, your face would be sullied with blood! Our queen wouldn’t like that, right Epel? The other hunter nods, tightening the rope in his hands. Something tells you it’s not just Vil who’s determined to see your beauty up close.

Diasmonia Upper Ranks- They’re alerted to your continuing existence when Malleus bursts through the door, his overwhelming strength almost shooting the hinges. It's been a while since he’s acted like this. The first time happened when he first became unit leader, his cause of disarray being a sighting of you he missed by two minutes because Crowley kept the sevens meeting running long. It doesn’t take much to assume this next cry is caused by you as well. They’re proven right when Malleus tightens his fists, cracking the statue near the door with a strong hit. The utterance of your name proves them right. He takes a glance at the pictures of you ripped from books, each one adorned with a flower he believed to fit your aura in the frame. He turns back with anger and sorrow, walking away from the board.

“I finally saw them… But was it even worth it if I couldn't speak to them?” The confession leads to panic. Malleus… Finally met you? So… You do exist! They’re about to cheer for him, but remember his current unpleasant mood and deter from the decision. Though, the only thing left to do then is get you for him, is it not? They all collectively look at each other before leaving the chambers with great haste. Lilias laughing with joy, Silver is dazed yet still determined, and Sebek… Well, he views you with disdain, as you are a filthy monster, the things they’ve sworn to kill and protect the world from. But, you are the object of Malleus’s interest, so… He should most likely pursue you.

Lilia & Silver & Sebek - Meet you through a sucessful plan, where you glare at them from above the fire they have you dangling over. You’re shouting curses at them, hoping at least one will cast and bring misfortune to their lineage. You grunt in frustration when nothing lands due to your panic. Lilia tilts his head at you, questioning if this is really the monster blessed with the highest bounty in history, as well as Malleuses infatuation. Though he can’t deny it, he’s quite curious too, and he can confidently say the other two feel the same way. Silver is fully awake for once as he stares at you, even Sebek doesn't seem as uptight. In both of their minds, you’re a danger to Malleus, but you’re also his in the same breath, which is why... They feel so guilty for feeling the same way he does towards you. Lilia laughs as he swings you towards his arms, catching you with a strength unbefitting his frame. It seems you’ve captured both Diasmonas Unit leader and his uper ranks.

And perhaps… Maybe all of Sages Quarters key people.

To every ones misfortune, their traps fail and Monster!Darling escapes from them everytime, further increasing the missing count of Sages quarter, and perhaps the world.

[petew21-blog]

An apple a day...

21st January 2021

Dr. Mikhail Varshavski, or how many people know him - Doctor Mike, is a famous succesful physician and an influencer making money out of his YouTube videos etc. Still taking a bit of his time to examine patients between his videos and interviews.

But today an elderly patient was suppse to come for a visit. Mikhail decided to make it a tv spot where the satisfied patient would come to the hospital and thanked him for treating him.

The patient's name was Arnold Jefferson, a 71 year old man suffering many conditions, such as diabetes, arthritis, hypertension and many many more. Quite common in older people.

Mr. Jefferson arrived an unaware of the upcoming spotilight was greeted by am assistant and led to a room with cameras.

Mr. Jefferson:"I was supposed to come for a vistit with Dr. Varshavski."

Assistant:"Doctor Mike wants to speak to you in front of the camera if that's ok? I am sure you have already signed multiple forms considering your privacy, while in his care. So we won't keep you long and I will go get doctor Mike."

Mr. Jefferson looked around confused. He came for a one on one dialogue, not an interview. He had no interest in all of this.

Docotr Mike arrived to the room. His hair ready, wearing his best scrubs that were ironed that day.

Mikhail:"Good morning, Mr. Jefferson. How are we feeling today?"

Mr. Jefferson:"Good morning. I.. well just as I normally do." he spoke nervously, looking at the cameras and the crew.

Mikhail spoke loudly for the microphone above them to hear and smiled way more than usual. "Amazing. We will do a standard check up and then we will take a look at your blood tests together. Is that ok?"

Mr. Jefferson nodded and was then examined in front of the camera. But they also did many photos where they were wearing masks and touched each other with elbows just to prove how safe they were while handling the ongoing pandemic.

He felt uncomfortable. "Could I please be examined alone for the part where I get to undress?"

The smile from doctor Mike's face disappeared. "Sure. Yeah. Can all of you from the crew go and take 5? Thank you. We will finish with Mr. Jefferson quickly.

The crew left and Dr. Mike was left alone with the patient.

Mr. Jefferson:"You complicated things for me, you know? I would have done this much sooner."

Doctor Mike had his stethoscope in his ears listening to Mr. Jefferson's heart. "What do you mean by that?" he said confused by what the patient said.

Mr. Jefferson placed his hands on Dr. Mike's head. "This". Flashes of lights shined between the two of them. Mikhail wanted to run away, but the force from Mr. Jefferson's hands was so strong. He couldn't let go.

Mikhail's eyes closed by themselves. He didn't see anything.

The first thing he saw as he opened his eyes was his reflection. Nothing unusual. He saw his face everyday in the mirror. But he felt anxious as soon as his body started moving on his own and flexed.

His body spoke out loud:"Oh my. It feels great to be this young again. It seems you take a great care for your body, Mikhail. Or I should say Arnold now."

Mikhail was in disbelief. What was happening? Is this all real?. "What did you do to me?"

Arnold:"I didn't hear that question for a very long time now. It will be easier to show you." he handed him the mirror. In the reflection was the same old man that he trested seconds ago. He touched his face and the reflection did the same.

Mikhail:"How are you doing this?"

Arnold:"Couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. I am honestly not sure."

Mikhail:"Why me? I am a doctor. I am not someone you should steal life away from."

Arnold:"You almost answered your question. If I don't have the right to do that then why should you? Remember my wife you treated? How you misdiagnosed her?"

Mikhail:"This is medicine. Mistakes can happen. It's not an exact science. Sometimes we don't have the power to save everyone."

Arnold:"Maybe. But my wife was special, like me, you know. We did the same thing I just did for you for almost a century. But we fell in love with the life that these bodies had. The love they had for each other, the family. We even had a new young couple found to move over to, but you just had to fuck it up. So... let my face be a constant reminder of what you messed up."

Mikhail:"You can't do this. No one will believe you. Everyone will find out. I will tell them."

Arnold:"Yeah, not really my concern. Whenever one of you does this, they end up in a mental hospital. So I guess it's up to you now, if you want to finish the shooting quietly or get a quick ticket for mental hospital for the short rest of your life you have left. So what's it gonna be?"

They finished the spot and Mikhail in Arnold's body was escorted out of the hospital. He was old now. His body ached. Every step he took was like a needle. He was picked up by one of his family members. He had no idea who it was. His son? Grandson? Maybe they'll know more about the swapping. Maybe the clues will be inside the house. Or maybe none at all.

18th February 2021

Mikhail sat in his new arm chair and held a mug in his hands. It has been almost a month since he lost his body.

One of his grandsons played with a tablet next to him.

Mikhail:"What are you doing there, Joe?"

Joe:"You wouldn't understand, grandpa."

Mikhail:"Maybe I would. How about you show me?"

Joe gave him initial instructions he would normally give Arnold, but Mikhail already knew all of this and confidently asked for him to put up YouTube.

Joe was surprised that his grandpa now knew all this, but he did what grandpa asked him to do.

They found Doctor Mike's channel. There was only one new video from the last time that Mikhail has posted anything.

The video had a bad quality. The one who edited the video was definitely an amateur.

The name of the video was: Why I decided to quit medicine

Mikhail froze. His life was all about being in the medical field. And now Arnold ruined it all.

He played the video. Arnold seemed very happy with his new body, because he kept touching his arms, his pecs and hair even while talking about how unsatisfied he became while working as a doctor.

Mikhail took the tablet and searched for more information about his old body. He found information about a lawsuit for malpractice, that the new doctor Mike how faced.

But something kuch worse caught his attention. An Only Fans account.

Mikhail left the room with the tablet and his grandson screaming behind him. But he didn't care about that now. He opened the page and immediately subscribed while entering his credit card info.

The page unlocked.

Mikhail had tears in his eyes. There were videos of his old body pleasuring himself, embarassing himself, pleasuring others...

All of that for a bit of money from horny peopl, that wanted to see the famous doctor.

Mikhail decided to send a message that cost extra money.

He sat there for a while and thought about what it would say.

"Dear, doctor Mike. Or maybe you still remember your old name, Arnold. I wanted to say something mean about you ruining my life. But after watching the videos, I have to say I miss my body. Even though I would want it back I don't expect you'd give it like that for free. But maybe you could let me enjoy that body once again from someone else's view? What do you think? It might get a lot of views.

Sincerley,

Dr. Mike Arnold Jefferson"

On the other side of the screen sat Arnold in front of the computer, his dick hard. Reading the message from his old body.

"This might be interesting" he said, grinning mischievously.

Two woman called out behind him from the bed:"Coming to bed, honey?"

Arnold smiled and turned around. "Ready for round three?"

Anonymous request from inbox

Could you please write a body swap story where an elderly patient steals Dr. Mike’s body when he is seen by him for a visit?

[ha-rinrin]

Hiding From The World

Summary: After a meeting with Silco, Jinx goes missing, leaving you to go find her.

Pairing: Jinx x Fem!reader

Wordcount: 1k

Authors note: The long ass story is still not finished im so sorry guys im gonna try to publish it as soon as I can 🤞🏻. I also did this at 2am, sorry if its bad I literally fell asleep in the middle of writing it.

Masterlist

It's been hours since you last saw her. Jinx was supposed to come back to the hideout after a supposedly urgent meeting with Silco, but the minutes dragged on, turning into hours, and still no sign of her. You tried to convince yourself she was just blowing off steam somewhere, but you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in your gut.

Without a second thought, you head to the one place she might be. It’s a little secret basement in an abandoned building tucked away in the darker parts of Zaun, somewhere she figured no one would ever think to look, when you and Jinx first stumbled on this little abandoned building while exploring Zaun’s hidden alleys. The structure was half-buried under layers of graffiti and rust, but Jinx saw it as treasure—something forgotten by everyone else but perfect for the two of you. Together, you’d set up this place over the months, stringing fairy lights from the cracked ceiling, stacking old crates to make makeshift chairs, and even securing it with a series of hidden traps to keep intruders out.

The shadows stretch longer as you approach the building, slipping past the creaky metal door and down the stairs that lead to the basement. You disable the traps one by one, the steps so familiar you could do them in your sleep. Finally, you reach the heavy door that leads into the basement, taking a breath before pushing it open.

And there she is.

Jinx is slouched on the floor, leaning against the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her eyes flicker with a mix of frustration and exhaustion, and you catch the way her hands keep fidgeting, as if even while sitting still, she can't quite find peace. She looks up when you enter, and something in her expression softens ever so slightly.

"Y/N," she mutters, sounding almost relieved. "Guess I’m not as good at hiding as I thought, huh?"

You close the door behind you, crossing the dimly lit room until you’re in front of her. “Not from me, anyway.”

She scoffs, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. You slide down to sit beside her, close enough that your shoulders are almost touching. For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence is comfortable, settling like a blanket around you both.

You glance over, studying her for a beat. “Rough day?”

She lets out a bitter laugh, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. “Silco thinks he knows everything. Says I’m too… reckless, like he doesn’t know me by now.” Her fingers toy with a stray thread on her pants, pulling at it absently. “Sometimes I think he just doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get me.”

You nod, listening to every word. “Sometimes I don’t think he deserves to.”

Jinx looks over at you, that fire in her eyes simmering down, replaced by something softer, something almost vulnerable. She doesn’t say anything right away, but her hand inches toward yours, her fingers grazing your palm as if she’s testing the waters.

You intertwine your fingers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “We don’t need him, you know,” you murmur. “We’ve got this place. It’s ours. Away from everyone else.”

She leans her head back, gazing around at the dim room, where the fairy lights cast soft, warm glows over the walls. It’s far from fancy, but it feels like home, like yours. The two of you worked to make it that way—a sanctuary in the chaos.

Her gaze drifts back to you, a small, genuine smile breaking through her tough exterior. “Guess that’s why I wanted to come here… I knew you’d find me.”

“Always,” you say softly, brushing a thumb over her knuckles.

For a while, you sit in comfortable silence, her head eventually finding its way to your shoulder. The weight of her against you feels reassuring, grounding, like the world outside doesn’t matter when it’s just the two of you in this little hidden corner of Zaun.

“You know,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper, “this place… I’d never let anyone else in here but you.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you turn slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. “Good. Because I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else.”

She smiles again, her eyes half-closed as she leans into you. In this moment, with the flickering lights casting shadows across the room and the muffled sounds of Zaun fading in the background, you both find a rare, quiet peace.

Jinx’s head grows heavier on your shoulder, her breathing slowing, steadying. You glance down to find her eyes closed, the furrow in her brow smoothed out. It’s rare to see her like this—unguarded, peaceful, away from the chaos that usually surrounds her.

Carefully, you shift, wrapping an arm around her to support her as you slowly stand up. She stirs slightly, but doesn’t wake, her head resting comfortably against your shoulder as you carry her over to the old, beaten-up couch you both dragged in here ages ago. Easing yourself down, you settle back with Jinx still in your arms, her body now draped across yours.

She mumbles something incoherent as she nestles closer, pressing her face against your chest. One of her arms wraps around you, clutching the fabric of your shirt as if you’re an anchor keeping her steady.

You can’t help but smile, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ear. She looks so serene, her usual smirk softened, her breathing deep and calm. Gently, you stroke her back, your fingers tracing light, soothing circles as she relaxes even further against you.

The warmth of her settles into you, a quiet comfort that makes the dim room feel like it’s lit up with something more than just fairy lights. Holding her like this, feeling her heartbeat thrum in sync with yours, it’s like all the weight of the world fades away.

As minutes slip by, you let your head rest back against the couch, one arm wrapped securely around her while your other hand continues to run softly up and down her back. You could stay like this forever, hidden away with her, in a place that’s just for the two of you.

In this little pocket of the world, it’s just you and her, and for now, that’s all you need.

[hadesisqueer]

I had to redo a year at school and I had to drop out twice due to personal issues, so when I returned I was older than everyone in my class in my Baccauleauret. The last Men's Football World Cup was in December a couple of years ago. A lot of kids were carrying t-shirts and a couple of flags to keep the spirit, that was cool. And I was at class with a few other students. The teacher hadn't gone to class that day, so we had a substitute and we were supposed to do nothing, basically. Since I was over eighteen and it was the second to last period and the next one was gonna be a makeup test I didn't have to take because I passed the first time, I decided I was gonna leave instead of staying there for two hours doing nothing with three boys and two girls I wasn't even friends with or knew at all. But it was raining a little bit, so I had to wait for ten minutes to leave until it stopped. Some of the kids decided to pull out their Spanish History books because they had a makeup test the next day.

Anyway, the teacher? Didn't know the guy. I think he was a Biology teacher and I didn't even take Biology anymore. He started talking to some of the others while I checked my phone. They talked about the World Cup, about some of the ESO kids wearing the Spanish nt t-shirts and celebrating all. Then he goes, “I actually just heard another teacher complaining about it. Can you believe it?" and we were like "Complaining?" And he goes "Over some students. She said they were around throwing 'fascist expressions' because they were saying 'Arriba España'. Seriously." And the other students were like, giggling, and then I said "I mean, then she is right, because it is a fascist expression." And he and the students were like "No, it isn't," and I was like "Yes, it is. I'm not saying the kids are fascists because they're like 12 and they probably just heard it somewhere and don't know the background, but Arriba España is a nationalistic expression used by the fascists. It was one of the mottos of francoism, and even the name of the movement's newspaper." And then they went "Oh, so just because the francoists used it then it's fascist?" and I stared at all of them blankly and said "Yeah." Best part is that they continued to shake their heads.

Anyway it stopped raining and I got up and they were like "Oh, you're living now?" mockingly and I said "Yeah, I got nothing to do here anyway. See you tomorrow. Y'all keep studying because I can tell why you all of you guys failed Spanish History now" and then they stayed really quiet as I left lmao. Anyway I commented that the next day at another class, and this teacher and other classmates were like "Are they fucking stupid?" Felt gratifying to see not everyone around you is fucking ignorant.

[howlingday]

The Smartest Man in the Room

Jaune: ...Dr. Watts, I have a puzzle for you.

Watts: Oh?

Jaune: You see, Man A wants to kill Man B.

Watts: And what am I told?

Jaune: It's a minimum information puzzle, sir. The two men are in a room, sir. Like this one. Lots of people are downstairs. Man A, the killer, plans to use a gun.

Watts: Then the shot would be heard.

Jaune: Man A uses a silencer.

Watts: He would also need to dispose of the gun.

Jaune: He would have to hide the gun, so that's why he uses an umbrella.

Watts: ...

Jaune: May I see your umbrella, Dr. Watts?

Watts: Using an umbrella to hide a gun? Hah! How ridiculously pedestrian! But, if that is what you wish, you may see it. In fact, you could even use your gun.

Jaune: Oh, I don't have a gun, sir. Never did. But Man A uses the gun.

Watts: With a silencer, yes, yes. (Chuckles, Presents umbrella)

Jaune: You see, sir, Man A, the killer, plans to hide the gun in the umbrella and then hide the umbrella in the chimney.

Watts: Ah, but there would be soot on the umbrella.

Jaune: Of course, sir! There would be soot! And, also, there's a secondary use of the umbrella. (Pulls out object) These are like loud firecrackers. My very good friend, Yang, introduced them to me. She says they're called squibs. Now, Man A intends to use these squibs to simulate gunfire after the body has already been shot.

Watts: Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Arc, but aren't these squibs known to leave behind paper trails after detonating? The killer would surely be caught!

Jaune: Yes, sir, which is why he intends to use the umbrella to catch the squibs inside!

Watts: (Smirks) Quite ingenious, but if these are firecrackers, as you say, then wouldn't they leave burns? Scorch marks? And, as you can see, this umbrella is perfectly unmarred.

Jaune: You're absolutely right, sir, but let's suppose the killer, Man A, had a different umbrella? (Snaps fingers) Ah! I forgot to tell you, sir! Last night, while I was in your office, I took the wrong umbrella. (Steps away) Excuse me, sir. Just one moment. (Moves, Returns with another umbrella)

Watts: ...

Jaune: I grabbed yours on accident. It was an honest mistake, really. And, as you know, we can't gather evidence like this. But, since I had it, I figured I'd get the testing done, and the lab found burns from the squibs, sir. Oh, and a lot of soot, sir.

Watts: ...I see. But I do have one question, Mr. Arc; how were these squibs detonated?

Jaune: Ah, see, Man A is a man of superbly impressive intellect~! Watch! I'll put the squibs inside the umbrella and we'll pretend that my scroll is the gun. (Folds umbrella) Now, when Man A, the killer, puts this up the chimney...

Watts: (Rolls eyes) You can't be serious...

Jaune: Oh, I am, sir! I am very serious! And now that the umbrella is up the chimaney...

Watts: (Chuckles)

Jaune: (Pulls out cables) Now, these wires are attached to a battery, sir, and they're connected to the same kind of squibs. Just hook these up into the umbrella and... (Connects) ...then we hook this other end over here to the record player. Press play and... (Music plays) attach the wires here and here. (Speaks loudly) Where I showed you the scratches, sir!

Watts: Ha! Nonsense!

Jaune: Now, the killer knows when the track will end.

Watts: Yes, yes, get on with it.

Jaune: The arm thing will hit here, making the first squib go off, and then here for the second.

Watts: Aha! But the body fell BETWEEN the two shots!

Jaune: Yes, sir, which is where the killer has to take a VERY big chance with this big book of words.

Watts: The dictionary?

Jaune: Yes, there's a line right here, and we can balance it on the edge of the table here. (Sets book) Like this!

Watts: (Music gets faster) Clever, but too unpredictable!.

Jaune: But important for the illusion.

Watts: For the sound of the body falling?.

Jaune: Exactly, sir!.

Watts: Impossible to time!.

Jaune: But this killer is very smart, sir.

Watts: Can he make the book fall between the two shots?!.

Jaune: Yes, sir.

Watts: How?!.

Jaune: I'll show you.

Watts: He would have to be a genius!.

Jaune: I think so, too, sir, but I don't want to imply that I came up with this all by myself. After all, the smartest people in the world are right here in this club, and, oh, they helped me a lot, sir.

Watts: Haha! Dunces! The lot of them!.

Jaune: You wouldn't call Dr. Poledina a dunce, would you?.

Watts: Hoho! Wouldn't I?!.

Jaune: (Music blaring) WELL, IT WAS HIS IDEA, SIR! THE BOOK! THE VIBRATIONS!.

Watts: VIBRATIONS?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!.

Jaune: THE FIRST SQUIB, SIR! HE MADE IT SOUND VERY SIMPLE! WHEN THE SQUIB GOES OFF, IT CAUSES A VIBRATION THAT KNOCKS THE BOOK DOWN! WHY, DOCTOR POLEDINA IS A VERITABLE GENIUS!.

Watts: (Visibly shaking) VIBRATIONS?! THAT FAT IMBECILE! ALL HE'S DONE IS MADE HIMSELF TO BE A BUMBLING ASS! NO!. (Grabs marker, Sets by record) THIS IS WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE!. (Music stops) THIS!.

BANG! THUMP! BANG!

Watts: THERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! THERE~!

Jaune: (Smiles)

Watts: (Beaming smile of triumph)

Jaune: ....

Watts: (Smile fades to look of horror) Oh my...

[quitealotofsodapop]

Omg that's an adorable thought! But like how does Wukong's immortality play into a deaged au

Prev.

Indestructible toddler.

Imagine an almost-baby who accidentally rips fridge doors off their handles, and has walked away from multiple "Shouldn't that hurt?" accidents that make Pigsy think Peaches is really luck or really durable.

However, as a little cub, Peaches still responds to things that "should" hurt as dramatically as if they truly had. Its the "Oh nO!" reaction from his parents that has him panic and realise "this should hurt!!".

Peaches learned early on that he has to show if something is *supposed* to hurt. Once he shrugged off a bump on his head, only for MK to repeat his big brother's action and get really hurt. Peaches felt guilt for the first time in his (recent) life and never wants his little brother to get hurt copying him again.

Bonus: if Macaque got revived but didn't dodge the soup (new sentence) he would be an easy-to-lose toddler. Maybe Meng Po does it as a sort of sneaky revenge on LBD for stealing her soup.

LBD: "Perfect. Know that you've been revived, you can hopefully retrieve my broken puppet and-" De Aged!Macaque: "WAAAAHHHH!!!" LBD: "...Yama is testing me." De Aged!Macaque: (*falls through his own shadow portal*)

I guess this version of Peach Soup should be called "Diet Peach Soup" eh? (cus they’re smaller)

[sherrysgirl]

drabble?? spencer checking up on sick!medialiaison!reader

cw : reader is sick (cold, flu, anything like that), reader is lowkey addicted to their phone, this is a self indulgent fic for anyone who’s sick rn because apparently ‘tis the damn season

word count : 564

note : i haven’t written a thing in nearly four years and even then my writing was mediocre at best. so, this will absolutely suck but please bear with me. this is just a silly little drabble i wrote cause i was bored. it’s also super boring and there’s absolutely nothing happening because i was too lazy to make it longer. baby steps

the constant loud knocking on your door had woken you up from your supposed nap, that according to the clock, had lasted a whole six hours. you sighed at having wasted a good chunk of your day.

turning around in your bed, you contemplated on opening the door. maybe whoever was standing there would give it up in a minute or two? you were way too sick to leave the comfort of your own bedroom and see anyone right now. unfortunately for you, the person on the other side of the door seemed to be testing your limits as their knocking kept getting louder and louder until you just couldn’t take it anymore.

with a groan you got out of your comfortable bed, left your bedroom and made your way to the door. you took a second to check how you looked in the mirror. tired. exhausted. sick. but it’s fine.

you opened the door to no one other than your colleague and friend spencer reid.

despite the fact that he’d been waiting for you to open the door for him for the past three and a half minutes, he still offered you that typical smile of his that always seemed to make you melt.

ever since you started working as a media liaison for the bau after jj left, you’ve had a soft spot for him. he might’ve been a bit hostile towards you the first couple of days after you were introduced to the team but you had learned about jj and how she was practically forced to leave the job. it hurt you that the team wasn’t entirely accepting of you but you had understood where they came from.

despite the slight hostility from the team at the beginning, you were able to grow close to them and by the time jj got back everyone had been attached to you as well. thankfully, jj had decided to come back as a profiler which meant you were able to keep your job and everyone was happy about how things had turned out.

“did i wake you up? you had me worried for a second. i was about to call morgan to kick your door”, he said as you gestured him to come in.

“why would you worry?”, you stifled a yawn, “didn’t hotch tell you i took the day off since if you couldn’t tell i’m very sick.”

“yes, he did. but i texted you to ask how you were doing and you never answered. which is unusual since you know, you’re always on that phone.”

you pretended to look offended, “wow that’s an insane thing to say. i was taking a nap!”

“a six hour nap?”, the man raised an eyebrow.

“i’m sick give me a break.”, you replied, “is that soup you’ve got here?”

“surprise!”, he lifted the bag up like you haven’t seen him hold it for the past three minutes then proceeded to put it on your kitchen counter.

“thanks, spencer. i didn’t think you’d drop by because of your whole germ thing.”, you teased, “which i completely get by the way. i’m just surprised.”

“well, you’re not contagious anymore. plus, i’ve got my hand sanitizer on me right now.”, spencer remarked.

you playfully rolled your eyes at him as you start heating up your soup.

“i mean it.”, you gave him a smile, “thanks.”

“anything for you.”

this sucks, don’t even talk to me i’m sick to my stomach. i might not be a good writer but at least i know abt being full of love and funny guys pls pls ❤️

[altocat]

That ask about sephiroth having bad eyesight made me think of like. AGZ fucking around and stealing hojo's glasses to put them on and make fun of him to cheer up sephiroth like that one calvin and hobbes strip but then sephiroth, buoyed by their actions is like. "Give them here. I'll make fun of him too" and then he puts them on and goes "huh." Like:

~~~~~

"Hm." Sephiroth squinted through the lenses, baffled by the sudden shift in the world.

Angeal laughed. He was half a room away, but he had a smile of full teeth, creases in his face from the joy of it. "Yeah, the guy's blind as a bat, isn't he?"

He didn't get much chance to respond to that.

"Your pupils are freaking OUT, dude." Zack was peering at him- his eyes were the same shade as Angeal's. Was that the mako eyes people spoke about?

"I didn't realise that poster on the wall had words." He remarked. "Who would leave a cat hanging on a branch anyway?"

"You're joking, right?"

"No, of course not." He didn't mean to sound as defensive as he did. "Do you think there's a good reason to leave a cat hanging?"

The three of them were silent in the way he had come to recognise as meaning he'd said something Abnormal- except this time it was punctuated by the weird glances they were giving each other.

Angeal picked something up from the desk next to him, took a few steps back, and held it up "Sephiroth," He didn't like that tone of voice. "Just to check, what does this say?"

He narrowed his eyes, which made the light less glaring, but then things were indistinct again, so he took a hand to the glasses and adjusted them until it was clear again- which gave him a very good look at the growing concern on his friends' faces- but did make the thing clarify into a written page. "Report on the incident- That's your report from last month." His frown deepened. "Is that why he wears these things? So he can read things from the next desk over? Why doesn't he just get closer if he wants to read something? Though, I wouldn't put it past him to be going out of his way to snoop on people-"

"Seph, can you take those off and read it?"

"What, from over there? Don't be absurd. Do I look like a pair of binoculars to you?"

They were Looking at each other again. Was this normal? Did they always do this when he spoke? It was disconcerting.

Genesis plucked the glasses off his face, and he scowled, the sudden smeariness of everything exacerbating the growing pain in his head.

Genesis moved his hand- it was a test he recognised immediately.

"Three." He said, before Genesis even had a chance to ask.

Genesis was silent for a second. Sephiroth could imagine, now, more of those Looks.

He took the paper from Angeal- the white shape moving to his hand.

"What?"

"Well, now what is it?"

"What's what? I told you I can't read from half a room-"

"No, I mean my hand."

His... hand?

Sephiroth squinted again. He could sort of see a darker shade over- was that his hand?

"How am I supposed to know? I can't see what position your hand is in."

That silence definitely felt like a Look.

"Okay, please explain how the fuck you were telling how many fingers i was holding up."

"Hand position." Wasn't this obvious? "It's never one- it's always two, three, four or five." He held his own hand up to demonstrate. "Two fingers tilts the hand inward slightly, three tilts it outwards, four even further outward, and five is straight up, but the splay of the thumb sticks out more compared to one."

Genesis held up his other hand.

"Four."

This was obviously the wrong answer, given the increasingly uncomfortable mood of the room.

"No, it's two. I just tilted my hand the other way."

"How was I supposed to know it wasn't four, then?"

"Seph, that's not how you're- the point is you're supposed to be able to count each finger. It's a vision test for blurring, not for recognising patterns."

He was about to ask how the fuck he was supposed to count fingers, but then a realisation hit him.

All the long silences and Looks and tests...

He'd failed at something.

He was supposed to be able to do these things, wasn't he?

Something Angeal said earlier caught his attention. He'd said hojo was blind as a bat as if that was notable, but not concerning.

He chose his words carefully

"Are some people simply... better at seeing than others?"

That familiar silence of Fucking Up settled once again.

"Dude," Said Zack. "We have GOT to get your eyes tested."

Imperfect, said a reassuring voice in the back of his head. Imperfect, just like everyone else.

Imperfect, agreed another part of him, one much less soothing. Identically to Hojo.

HHHHHHHHHHHHH ANON WTF THIS IS SO GOOD I'VE BEEN AMBUSHED ASDFGDSADFDS

Sephhhh sweetheart it's okay cool guys wear glasses tooooo asedfghjgfds

[otter--anon]

Jacyn stands dressed in his usual red hoodie and black sweats. He has a hair tie round his hand, one that's obviously Morgan's.

He leans on the side of the door frame as he moves aside to let shelly in "great ya made it shells surprised ya knew where tha place was? I don think I told ya where it was before?" He jabbed. Leading her into the dining area to a movie and some snacks haphazardly set out on the table. The lights were off too.

To anyone this would look less like a date and more like some bachelors sad binge fest she crashed.

“I have my ways of knowing”

I look into his eyes to test whether the perception of the situation was true or not. Should I really be trusting Jacyn? Should I really be interfering with him and Morgan?

It's hard to tell with this guy.

I enter the room taking note of its decor. Was this really supposed to be something romantic or something out of a horror movie?

I follow behind him into the dining area, taking note of each hallway.

"So... what do you have planned for us, Jay? Or is it a secret?"

I tilt my head slightly as I stand a fair distance behind him.

[tales-of-wocdes]

Heya! Never written an ask before but I love this story and the snippets so much that I decided to give it a go! Genuinely, this is the only blog where I read every ask. So! I actually have two burning questions, but it seems like it's better to send them as separate asks so I'll probably do that. Hope that's alright! Anyway, the first question is:

Say MC somehow gains a vague understanding of what Mama and Papa mean- how would Lexia and Havard react to being called Mama and Papa respectively?

Hi! Glad to be your first ask! And thank you for all the kind words!

So this is a hard one... kudos for not pulling any punches on your first ask :D Going straight for the big stuff, I like it and dread it in equal measure.

Since this seems like something that could easily happen in game, I will put the snippets below the line. I suppose I am calling spoilers, though I don't think I reveal anything that was not in the demo though people might have missed it.

And I reserve the right to change anything I want later, as always :D But let's call this a thank you for 10 k browser plays :D

------------HAVARD-----------

"Papa?" You asked one evening as Havard was tucking you into bed. It was phrased a bit like a question but you think you understand what it means. You saw children out in the city use the word.

There was only one person you knew that the word fit, and that was Havard.

Havard froze in place, and paled.

Why? What did you do?

He was staring at you with wide eyes, and a range of expressions passed across his face.

Joy, sorrow, anger, pain...

So many expressions.

So much pain.

Then you saw the tears falling down his cheeks.

You sat up in bed, alarmed and panicked. This was not like the Havard you knew... Havard was the one who helped you not hurt! This was all wrong. He smiled at you, and helped you eat, and took care of you. This wasn't what you wanted.

What did you do? Why is he hurting?

Havard did not give you the chance to ask. He knelt by your bed and wrapped you up in a hug. It was warm and snug. Yet, he held onto you for dear life with a desperation, as if afraid you would disappear... and you had no idea why.

"I... I never thought... Thank you." He whispered. You could feel the wetness against your cheek.

You think you misheard him at first. Why is he thanking you? You made him hurt?

Then he repeats it. Twice, thrice. He keeps repeating it, and hugging you tighter, and tighter. Yet, never too hard. He would never hurt you. You know this.

You are confused... but you hug him back as hard as you can.

"Thank you, papa." You whispered back to him. You did not need to specify what you were thankful for.

It was for everything.

------------LEXIA-----------

"Mama?" You said, phrasing it as a question. You think you understand what it means. You saw children out in the city use the word.

Lexia froze, face going very blank. She stared at you with wide eyes, uncertain about what to do.

Then she knelt down in front of you.

"You sure kid? That you wanna use such a big and important word on me?" She asked, voice oddly soft... and a little choked up? It didn't suit her usual style... but you thought this was Lexia too. Uncertain behind all her smiles, but usually hiding it well. That slightly awkward person who was afraid of being scolded by Alessa as much as the twins were. Lexia who loved teasing Havard, and testing his patience.

Lexia who sometimes used bad words, and let you get away with eating cookies before dinner. Lexia who was always there, Protecting you. From others and yourself.

"Mama." You repeated, a bit more certainly. It felt right.

Lexia inspected your face for a long time. Then she hugged you. Much more gently than usual, yet just as firmly. She was wearing her armor, but somehow the hug was warm. She even trapped your hands by accident.

"Ok... if you are sure..." She whispered to your ear. "I... I don't know if I am worthy of it, but I will try to be."

You could not see her face... You wondered what kind of a face she was making right now. You however could nuzzle her cheek.

It made her laugh.

That was all you wanted.

[kimmie2me]

# 02. Street Smarts & Tough Lessons

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✰⋆⁺⋆˙⠀⠀⠀⠀taglist ... chapters ... masterlist

.....

The cruiser’s interior was cramped, filled with the scent of stale coffee and the lingering traces of early morning. Pale sunlight filtered through the windshield, casting soft patches of light over Bakugou’s face as he drove. His gaze was fixed on the empty city streets, his expression as sharp and unyielding as if he were navigating a minefield. The quiet hum of the engine filled the silence, an ever-present reminder of the tension simmering between you two.

You shifted slightly, the seatbelt pressing into your shoulder as you stole a glance at him. His grip on the steering wheel was ironclad, fingers flexed as though the leather itself might slip through his hands. His jaw was set, a muscle in his cheek jumping each time he exhaled, a small, annoyed huff breaking the silence.

The morning light softened the cityscape outside, revealing clean sidewalks and storefronts that had yet to see foot traffic. You watched as people began trickling out of apartments, coffee in hand, ready to start their days. The world outside was calm, bright, and indifferent to the tension stewing inside the car.

You tried to ignore the oppressive silence, focusing instead on the quiet streets and the rare passerby. Your earlier rookie mistake hung heavy in the air, unspoken yet potent enough that Bakugou’s simmering irritation seemed to intensify with every block you passed.

When you finally dared another glance in his direction, his eyes remained trained ahead, his jaw visibly clenching. When he did speak, his voice was low and edged with barely concealed frustration, slicing through the quiet.

“Hope you’re actually paying attention this time,” he muttered, eyes still on the road. “Last thing I need is you messing up again.”

You swallowed, bracing yourself for whatever scathing critique was coming next. You’d heard Bakugou had a reputation for being rough on rookies, and he seemed determined to live up to it.

As you both exited the cruiser and stepped onto the pavement, you felt his gaze bore into the back of your head. He walked beside you with a predatory stride, hands shoved into his pockets, his eyes flicking over the street like he was cataloging every possible threat.

.....

“Why the hell do ya walk like that?” he snapped, startling you.

It's literally been not even 10 minutes into this.

“Like what?” you asked, frowning in confusion.

“Like we’re out for a Sunday stroll,” he grumbled, giving you a look that could melt steel. “You think anyone’s gonna wait around for you to take in the sights?”

You stifled a sigh. Apparently, he wasn’t just hung up on your earlier mistake and the fact he's forced to be your partner; now he was criticizing the way you walked.

Bakugou continued, his tone unrelenting. “Look around with some purpose. Head up, eyes moving. You look soft—like you couldn’t catch a runaway kid, let alone handle anything serious.”

Resisting the urge to retort, you lifted your chin, adopting a more purposeful stance. But his gaze remained fixed on you, his scrutiny relentless, catching every slight adjustment in your posture.

“You even know what you’re lookin’ at?” he muttered, rolling his eyes as he followed your gaze. “You’re wasting time, staring at every shop window like it’s got some hidden clue. We’re looking for threats, idiot, not window shopping.”

Your frustration bubbled, but you forced yourself to keep quiet, focusing instead on what lay ahead. This entire shift, he’d been taking every chance to point out your supposed flaws, his tone drenched in disdain. Yet beneath it, there was a challenge, like he was testing to see how far he could push you.

“I get it,” you said finally, barely keeping the irritation out of your voice. “I messed up, but I’m here to learn. You don’t have to keep pointing out every single thing I do wrong.”

Bakugou stopped short, fixing you with a hard stare. “Learn? You think this is about learning?” He gestured to the quiet street, exasperated. “From where I’m standing, you’re barely paying attention to anything useful.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, trying to keep calm. “I’m listening, alright?”

“Doesn’t look like it,” he shot back, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Every time we turn a corner, you’re more interested in someone’s shoes than what’s actually going on. You think it’s cute to notice all that?”

“It’s not useless,” you replied, defensive. “Noticing details is part of the job. Being observant is important.”

“Observant?” He laughed, a harsh, mocking sound. “Sure, if you want to notice every detail that doesn’t matter. You’re acting like some over-eager intern, playing cop.” He nodded toward a figure across the street. “See that guy? His hand just twitched near his pocket. What do you think that means?”

Caught off guard, you stammered, “Uh… maybe he’s going for a phone?”

“Or a weapon,” Bakugou interrupted coldly. “Or maybe he’s nervous. Could be anything. You don’t get the luxury to guess.”

You bit back the sting of his words, forcing yourself to hold steady even as frustration prickled at you. “Then what would you do?” you muttered.

Bakugou scoffed, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. “I’d size ‘em up without getting distracted by useless crap. We’re not here to admire the scenery. You’re supposed to notice what doesn’t fit, not give people fashion critiques.”

Your hands balled into fists as you kept pace with him, trying to absorb his harsh words without snapping. You’d heard Bakugou was a challenging mentor, but this felt more like a gauntlet than training.

As you neared an alley, Bakugou threw an arm out to stop you. “Stay back,” he ordered, voice dropping low. “Don’t just breeze past an alley without checking it out. You think muggers are gonna announce themselves?”

You swallowed, taking a step to scan the shadowed alleyway. The sunlight filtered in, casting long, deceptive shadows, and you couldn’t help but feel a prickle of unease. This felt a bit much to be honest, but he seemed dead serious. Might as well attempt to get something out of this..

Bakugou noticed your hesitation and rolled his eyes. “And another thing—quit fiddling with your belt like some nervous kid. If you can’t handle your gear comfortably, you’re in the wrong line of work.”

His words cut deep, and you felt frustration building. “Are you actually going to teach me anything? Or just keep criticizing everything?”

For a long, intense moment, he just stared at you, eyes narrowed in a way that made you feel like he was measuring your worth.

Then, he scoffed, a smirk twisting his lips. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.”

Fucking fantastic.

.....

After hours of covering the same old route, checking in with local shops, and keeping an eye on the usual suspects, you finally breathe a little easier. The sun is beginning to rise, and the shift is winding down. You’ve survived it, you think. A few hours with Bakugou and you haven’t completely messed up yet.

You’re starting to feel the faintest spark of relief, the first signs of the end of your shift in sight, when Bakugou suddenly turns, face as stern as ever, his eyes sharp despite the early hour.

“Alright, rookie, that’s enough of your daydreaming. Back to the precinct,” he snaps, not bothering to slow his pace.

For a second, you think you’ve misheard him. You weren’t expecting to be thrown back into another assignment. “What?” you manage to squeak out, your brain still foggy from the hours of patrolling.

“I said we’re heading back to the precinct. That was only the first part of the shift, dumbass.” His voice is like gravel scraping against your nerves. “You think just because you walked around a few blocks, you're done?”

Your stomach drops.

You try not to groan. You had genuinely hoped—prayed—that once the patrol was done, you'd be free for the day. Maybe you could grab a coffee, and take a second to breathe. But no, that wouldn’t be Bakugou’s style, would it? Curse you for getting so used to the usually nothingness with Kaminari.

“No, we’re not done,” he says, almost as if reading your thoughts, though his words feel like a sucker punch to your optimism. “We’ve still got work to do. Don’t get used to thinking you can take breaks just because you’re ‘done.’”

Great. This day is never going to end.

.....

The precinct buzzes around you all day, a strange blend of organized chaos and constant interruptions. It feels like Bakugou has somehow crafted the worst possible introduction into this job just for you—hours of grueling tasks that demand your attention at every turn, all while he manages to keep up a steady, biting commentary that you’d swear is designed to throw you off balance. At one point, he barely glances at you as he flicks through a pile of paperwork, but you swear he’s smirking as he hands you another stack. And you’ve barely started when he’s already moved on, barking orders at someone across the room.

The hours grind by slowly, your feet aching by midday, and your brain’s a blur of unfamiliar forms, barely decipherable police shorthand, and Bakugou’s voice echoing in your head. No matter what you do, he always finds something to comment on—a quiet scoff if you manage something right, a darkly amused grin when you slip up. It feels like you’re in some kind of endurance test, the kind they warned you about in training but somehow didn’t quite prepare you for.

As the day stretches on, a headache starts to throb at your temples. Bakugou’s still charging forward without any sign of letting up, taking you along with him from briefing rooms to meetings to the field, and by the time the clock finally edges close to eleven at night, you’re nearly nodding off on your feet.

Then, as he heads out the door, he turns back to you with a look that makes your spine stiffen, “You better be early tomorrow.”

The words hit you like a slap in the face, and you almost choke. Early? EARLY? After everything he put you through today?

You’re still reeling as he strides away, leaving you alone in the emptying precinct, barely able to keep your eyes open. But when you stumble inside, you catch sight of Kaminari lounging against one of the desks, scrolling through something on his phone.

Lucky bastard.

“Hey,” he calls over with a smirk, glancing up and giving you a once-over. “So how’d it go?”

He pauses, and then his expression changes, eyes widening a bit as he takes in your slouched posture, the bags forming under your eyes, and what’s probably a permanent frown from all the things you’ve had to hold back today. “Never mind. You look like that thousand-yard-stare guy. I’m actually kinda afraid to ask.”

You laugh, but it comes out a little too deadened, a testament to your exhaustion. “Day one, and I’m already dead on my feet,” you mutter, rubbing your face. “Not exactly sure I survived, actually.”

“Yeah, you’ve got that new recruit look—like they dropped you into the deep end with weights tied to your ankles,. Man, I kinda wish I took a picture so we could do the 'this is me before my 12-hour shift,' and 'this is me after'” he sighs, giving you a sympathetic wince. “The good news is, it gets…well, easier’s probably the wrong word. But at least you’ll get used to it.”

You manage a weak smile. “Comforting. Thanks.”

He grins back, but then his eyes catch on something over your shoulder. “Oh, hey,” he says, waving over your shoulder. “I’m out, though—good luck. And if you need a rescue mission, just call.” He gives you a wink and a mock salute before sauntering off.

As you turn to see who he waved at, a familiar bright red head of hair bobs into view.

“Hey, didn’t mean to startle you,” Detective Kirishima says, coming up to you with a friendly smile that makes you feel like you might actually be able to breathe again. His energy is a bit much for your current state, but something about him is…nice, grounding. “Sorry, don’t think we’ve met yet,” he adds, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m Kirishima Eijiro.”

You give a tired smile, introducing yourself with a nod. “Yeah, I, uh…definitely know who you are. Heard a lot about the whole ‘Red Riot’ thing.” You gesture vaguely, almost missing his look of pleasant surprise.

“Oh, yeah?” He grins, clearly pleased, but it’s easygoing, lacking the cockiness you’ve come to expect from Bakugou. “That whole title is a bit much, if you ask me. Well, it’s good to meet you, even if it’s been one hell of a day, huh?”

“That’s one way to put it,” you say, sighing. “You could also say I was dragged through the nine circles of hell and back.”

Kirishima chuckles, nodding knowingly. “Bakugou’s a bit intense, especially on new recruits. But he’s actually…well, he’s a good guy underneath. If you’re looking for a tip, though, one thing that might soften him up a little in the morning—”

You raise an eyebrow, almost unable to believe there’s a way to make Bakugou “soften” in any capacity. “What, like a bribe?”

“Sort of.” Kirishima chuckles. “Coffee. He can’t stand the usual stuff most people get him—like, black coffee with no sugar. Everyone thinks that’s his vibe, but it drives him nuts. Just get him something decent. And not with that sugary stuff, either. You’ll figure it out.” He smiles kindly, though he must see the exhaustion in your eyes, because he takes a step back. “But hey, I’ll let you get going. Don’t want to keep you here any longer than you have to be. Good luck, though! And…hang in there.”

He gives you a wave and an encouraging nod, then heads out, leaving you with a sense of surreal hope mingling with exhaustion. You don’t know if coffee alone can really fix Bakugou’s attitude—or if there’s some magic in the world that could make him less impossible—but as you finally drag yourself out into the quiet night, the thought lingers.

Maybe.. it's really that easy?

.....

The morning arrived way too early, especially for someone who’d dragged herself to bed with just enough time to catch a few precious hours of sleep. But here you were, practically clawing your way out of the sheets at an ungodly hour, rubbing at your bleary eyes as you blearily shuffled to your computer. Because today was going to be different.

Kirishima's advice had stuck with you, gnawing at the back of your mind until you finally gave in. If a decent coffee could improve your odds of surviving another day with Bakugou, then hell, you’d become a damn coffee expert. After all, who’d have thought the ticket to maybe, maybe earning a sliver of respect from this guy would be a cup of coffee?

Problem was, you had zero clue what that entailed.

You’d Googled “coffee orders for grumpy cops” and “coffee orders that scream I hate everything” before even realizing how ridiculous it sounded, then quickly deleted your search history in a flurry of shame and annoyance. Next, you’d tried browsing lists of “strongest coffee,” “bold coffee blends,” and “top coffees for strong personalities”—only to end up with pages of coffee snob jargon and fancy words that made no sense. Cold brew? Double shot? Espresso macchiato? Why did coffee need a PhD to understand?

The only thing you usually got yourself was a matcha latte with a splash of creamer, maybe a hint of vanilla. But Bakugou was definitely not a “matcha and creamer” type of guy. No, he probably preferred something bitter, with a kick that could wake the dead. After close to an hour and a mental Venn diagram of “strong flavors” and “no sugar,” you thought you’d finally cracked the code: a triple shot espresso with just enough milk to take the edge off, but not enough to ruin the bite. It seemed… strong. Just like him.

On your way to the precinct, you swung by the nearest coffee shop, eyes darting across the menu like you were analyzing a tactical map. You read and reread each option, carefully cross-referencing every espresso and cold brew with your phone’s coffee notes app (yes, you’d made an app folder just for this).

By the time the barista finally got to you, you’d zeroed in on the perfect drink. Or, at least, what you hoped was the perfect drink.

“A triple espresso macchiato with a splash of milk, please. To go,” you added, hoping to sound decisive even though you were already second-guessing everything. The barista gave you a cautious look, probably spooked by the intensity of your stare. But hey, desperate times.

When the order came up, you took a long, evaluative whiff. It smelled dark and bitter, which you were sure was promising. With a steadying breath and a pep talk (“It’s just coffee”), you marched into the precinct.

You made it in early, nerves a mix of dread and determination as you took up your usual spot in the briefing room, coffee cup cradled like it was some kind of peace offering. You’d barely been there five minutes when you heard Bakugou’s heavy footsteps, purposeful and brisk.

He didn’t even acknowledge you at first, just dropped his bag on the desk with a scowl that could curdle milk. Perfect timing, really.

You cleared your throat, extending the cup his way. “Thought you might want some coffee.”

Bakugou shot you a look, eyebrow raised in skeptical surprise. “Y’don’t know how I take my coffee, so why the hell’d you even bother?”

Your grip tightened just a bit on the cup. Oh, you were very aware of that fact, considering the Herculean effort you’d just put into decoding what he might possibly like.

“Just… thought you’d appreciate it,” you managed through gritted teeth. “Triple espresso macchiato. Strong, no sugar. Figured that’d suit you.”

He eyed it, a shadow of… compilation? Annoyance? You couldn’t tell. With a scoff, he took the cup and, in one quick motion, took a swig. And immediately, he stopped.

For a heartbeat, you held your breath, half-hoping he’d give even the tiniest nod of approval. But instead, he made a face, as though the coffee had personally insulted him. He lowered the cup, glaring at it like it was the last straw in a long line of disappointments.

“Seriously?” he grumbled, looking from the cup to you. “What is this crap?”

Your stomach dropped. You’d woken up ten times earlier than usual, spent your entire morning dissecting coffee like it was a crime scene, and this guy couldn’t even pretend to appreciate the effort?

“It’s a triple espresso,” you said, voice taut with barely contained exasperation. “Supposed to be strong, y’know? Just like you.”

“Oh, so now you’re some coffee connoisseur?” he shot back, holding the cup away from himself like it might explode. “This’s strong, alright. Strong enough to taste like mud.”

You practically felt steam shooting out of your ears. Mud?! After all that research? All that lost sleep? A tiny part of you wanted to take the cup back, drink it yourself, and walk out. But Bakugou, with his unflinching, unimpressed stare, left you no choice but to swallow your frustration.

“Fine,” you muttered, resisting the urge to yank the cup from his hands. “Next time, I’ll just get you water.”

“Good idea,” he deadpanned. But then, with a tiny, grudging glance your way, he took another sip—still cringing, but now eyeing you from over the rim of the cup like he was testing your reaction.

With a huff, you turned back to your desk, grumbling under your breath as you reached for your own drink. So much for softening him up. So much for making things even a fraction easier.

But, just as you sat back down, you caught a glimpse of Bakugou out of the corner of your eye—leaning back, lifting the cup once more. Hope sparked in your chest. Maybe he’d decided it wasn’t so bad?

Then, with a disgusted curl of his lip, he chucked the entire cup straight into the trash can without a second thought, like it was yesterday’s garbage.

In your mind, you nearly screamed. He threw out some perfectly good coffee… in this goddamn ECONOMY?! Your fingers twitched with suppressed rage, jaw clenched so tight you felt your teeth ache. Fuck you, Bakugou Katsuki. Fuck you and your coffee-hating soul.

You settled back into your seat, mentally replaying every penny wasted on that triple espresso disaster, resolving that next time he’d get whatever was cheapest. Maybe decaf, for all you cared.

[mjshortformcjesus]

OK LOOOONG POST (i ranked all the saw traps except for the spiral ones)

starting with the worst and i’ll work my way up :3

74. lawnmower trap (saw 3d) because its boring and stupid

73. edgar munsen’s trap (jigsaw). this whole movie sucks ass but. the lack of filter on like this whole scene pisses me the fuck off

72. shotgun chair (saw v) idek it just sucks

71. hangman’s noose (saw 3d i believe) its really boring and basicccc

70. cyanide box (saw 3d) boring as hell im afraid

69. sentry gun (saw 3d) its kinda funny i suppose???

68. hoffmans ugly fucking rbt (saw vi) its fucking ugly

67. suspended cage (saw 3d) i would survive this no problem

66. chain hangers (jigsaw) i dont care for it and the needles and i hate it

65. spike trap (saw iv) its good i think its just like the one trap i cant watch :/

64. scalping chair (saw iv) idkkkk its justs like boring and yawn (really funny on 2x speed though)

63. grain silo (jigsaw) lordddd its badddd

62. electrified staircase (saw ii) i think this would fix my knees but like. the way its filmed lowkey sucks

61. public execution (saw 3d) good golly this one ugh. i think it couldve been good if it werent a stupid reason to get put in a trap

60. drill chair (saw i) lost points for being named jeff

59. shotgun keys (jigsaw) funny. i suppose

58. shotgun hallway (saw i) i liked sing ;-;

57. freezer room (saw iii) slow ass fucking jeff

56. cycle trap (jigsaw) not a personal fav but the corpse is really funny

55. brazen bull (saw 3d) diy top surgery ig but the wife didnt deserve that

54. ceiling jars (saw v) they couldve all fIT IN THERE

53. antidote safe room (saw ii) i hate xavier and i dont really enjoy when he cut the back of his neck off :/

52. electric bathtub (saw v) i liked the lady that got zapped ;-;

51. razor box (saw ii) its good but also akdjdjosjeoskdo

50. disembowelment (saw x) wooble wooble wooble

49. gas chamber (saw x) i hate cecilia so sos os os so much

48. oxygen crusher (saw vi) its a wee bit fucked up ngl

47. buckets room (jigsaw) personally i dont like it very much but @w3bcu1t does and i love her

46. neck tie trap (saw v) LMAO THE DECAPITATION

45. pipe bomb (saw x) ughhh its good but ughhhh

44. zep’s test (saw i) idek yall

43. magnum eyehole (saw ii) yea

42. spine cutters (saw iv) i liked art…

41. bedroom trap (saw iv) its icky but well done

40. horsepower trap (saw 3d) all i wrote for this was “lur lur lur” idk what that means

39. leg wires (jigsaw) ://////

38. wisdom teeth combo (saw 3d) the peanuts :3

37. jeff’s final test (saw iii) kajsisjslkaksndkd

36. razor wire maze (saw i) man oh man its a classic

35. the furnace (saw ii) :3

34. steam maze (saw vi) yea

33. exploding puppet (saw iv) OWAGHH lindseyyy

32. pig vat (saw iii) juice

31. flammable jelly (saw i) ngl its just for the name

30. knife chair (saw iv) hehe ha

29. eyeball vaccuum (saw x) slurrrppppp

28. silence circle (saw 3d) i wont explain myself

27. nerve gas house (saw ii) lowkey this trap fucks hard. easily the best group trap

26. laser collars (jigsaw) listen. i know it sucks. idc

25. the cubeeee (saw v) in my cube. straight up breathing it. and by “it” well haha lets justr say. neck air

24. classroom trap (saw iii) again. my notes just say “lur lur lur”

23. brain surgery (saw x) pabdodjeokeow

22. impalement circle (saw 3d) i…have no idea

21. radiation (saw x) gabrielaaaaa

20. bloodboarding (saw x) ITS SO AINSOEMEPW

19. pendulum (saw v) he-he got cut in half lmao

18. acid room (saw vi) tghe fucking body melting??? PEAK

17. bathroom trap (saw i) gay people

16. ice block trap (saw iv) fuck eric amiright

15. venus fly trap (saw ii) i loveee this one but poor michael probably didnt deserve that

14. shotgun collar (saw iii) live. laugh. lesbian.

13. pound of flesh (saw vi) this is a classic and i love it sm

12. the gallows (saw vi) AMERICAN HELATHCARE

11. shotgun carousel (saw vi) USA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅!!!!!

10. 10 pints of sacrifice (saw v) when- when the hands do the flappy i lose my shit

9. amanda’s test (saw iii) ANSOSJOSJknosjoskijsi&/918Jwboajaosj

8. needle pit (saw ii) isjsisjsoajaoanoak

7. reverse bear trap (saw i and 3d) amajda ambda andbaa mandy ambda amanda (and jill i suppose)

6. mausoleum (saw iv) mmmmmmmmmm

5. eric’s test (saw ii) oh goodness. i fucking hate eric matthews.

4. bone marrow (saw x) i really like this one

3. glass coffin (saw v) silly haha

2. the rack (saw iii) THE PRACTICAL EFFECTS RAHHHHH

angel trap (saw iii) i loveee kerry i loveee the effects i loveee the rats on her in saw iv i loveee amanda appearing as kerry’s ribs get ripped open

yayayaya i did it. yall can ask if you have questions :3

[l1v1ngd3dgrrl]

Returning the Favor [DaisukexReader]

an: This is a continuation of Talkin' in your sleep. Takes place a week after that. Minimal plot (if any) this time, Daisuke might be a little ooc this time, feeling a bit feral today. Not beta read at all

Word count: 1077

mdni divider by cafekitsune

CW(S): oral sex (f receiving), vaginal sex, spit as lube(kind of), kind of a quickie?

You really don't know how you got yourself into this situation. It all started innocently enough, You had to take something to Daisuke in the utility room. You couldn't even remember what it was. Some where in between the delivery and Daisuke showing off the most recent thing Swansea was making him do with the circuit board led you to this moment.

Next thing you knew Daisuke was peppering kisses along your neck. Thankfully Swansea was on his lunchbreak so you didn't have to worry about him coming back for at least 30 minutes or so. It was just the two of you in the room alone.

“I don’t mind this but just like last time we gotta be quiet.” You remind him between giggles. “I don’t want anyone catching us.”

He hums and presses more kisses to your neck, “I dunno why you’re telling me when you’re the one who really has to focus on being quiet.”

You scoff “whats that supposed to mean?”

Daisuke sucks harshly at your neck and draws a gasp from you.

“I mean I’m returning the favor from last time. You took care of me so it’s my turn to pay up.”

The change in his demeanor has your stomach doing flips. This side of him is one you wanna see more often.

He clears off the desk, setting aside his project and taps the top motioning you to sit down.

Once you're seated on the desk he resumes his kisses, rubbing his hands down your sides. You slide your hands across his chest and tangle one in his hair giving it a slight tug. He sucks your neck in a few spots, pink splotches slowly blossoming in his wake.

He pulls away and caresses your face in his palms. "You don't mind if I like, go down on you right?"

"I'd be a little sad if you didn't." you grin.

He snorts and presses a couple chaste kisses to your lips before making work of the buttons on your jumpsuit. You help him shimmy it down enough to where it's pooling at your ankles.

He takes a moment to take in your semi-clothed frame with a grin, sliding his hands up your thighs. He pays extra attention to your inner thighs closer to your core. His fingers ghost the edge of your underwear. The cold metal of his rings sending pleasant chills up your spine.

You watch him expectantly, body practically vibrating with anticipation. He hooks his fingers in the waistband of them and pulls them down sinking to his knees as he does so. You hold your breath and spread your legs more to give him access.

With minimal hesitation he moves forward, warm breath fanning over your center. He licks a stripe up your pussy, testing the water to see your reaction.

You release the breath you were holding and let out a soft moan. That's his go ahead, he makes quick work and maneuvers his tongue skillfully

Daisuke's eyes meet yours, chocolate brown eyes gazing up at you lovingly. You bite your lip as he continues and snake a hand into his hair.

Your knowledge of Daisuke's sexual past was unknown, but with how well he was doing he must have had at least a girlfriend or two. That or he had a pretty interesting search history.

Quiet gasps and words of encouragement fall from your lips, which seems to spur him on further. His face is no doubt a mess with a mixture of your slick and his saliva.

After a particularly harsh suck on your clit you let out a moan louder than you meant to and tug on his hair. He pulls back and stands up. "I hate to stop there but I really really wanna be inside you right now." he admits.

In wordless agreement you began to pull up your shirt exposing your midriff. He fumbles with his belt buckle, hands shaking with excitement. Once there are no restrictions in the way he pulls down his boxers enough to let his erection free.

"Let me know if it's t'much." he whispers after planting a kiss on your forehead. His cock lines up and slowly pushes in. The mixture of his saliva and your slick serve as a makeshift lube, not ideal but it'll do.

He gives you time to adjust, inching in slowly. Once he's fully bottomed out he stills. His eyes close and his brows knit together, breath coming out in small huffs. As per usual he looks picture perfect.

You're in a similar state he is, your arms drape themselves across his shoulders. The stretch wasn't terrible but it was something you had to adjust to.

"Ok-ok You can move now." You say.

He nods and begins to thrust at a slow but steady pace.

Both of you are huffing quietly, gazing at each other as if you two were the only things to exist. He presses kisses to your lips and he begins to pick up the pace, the desk starting to creak quietly.

"Oh god you feel so good." he murmurs. You move one of your hands to your mouth, moaning quietly into the palm of your hand.

You try and meet his thrusts the best you can. Daisuke's hands plant themselves firmly on the desk as he speeds up. Creaks and moans from the both of you fill the room.

"I'm almost there." you whine.

Daisuke laughs which fades into a whine of his own. His thrusts get harsher causing you to grasp tightly onto his shirt.

With a few more harsh thrusts of his you squeal as you hit your climax, eyes tightening shut.

Daisuke soon follows, pulling out and finishing with his hand. He comes with a choked groan and a couple of spurts of cum land on your exposed stomach.

Both of you sit in silence, panting to catch your breath. He reaches behind you and grabs a few paper towels. "How do you feel?" he asks as he begins to clean the two of you up.

"Amazing!" you say cheerfully.

After you're all cleaned up you both get dressed, trying to make yourselves look as inconspicuous as possible. Swansea would be back any minute now.

"You should probably head back, I don't want either of us to get in trouble."

"Yeah-I'll see you later!"

You made your way out of the utility room with wobbly legs feeling content.

Bless that ray of sunshine.