#i know it was made to help people remember the order of things in maths but for me it always confused me further

[skyscrapergods]

i'm working on my own concept for my own mlp fanlore/au and i've been inspired by your take on alicorns to make my own more unique as well. my idea is centric around the concept that alicorns are ponies who acended into what's basically pony elves that get worshiped because of the mysterious way they ascended, but idk how to really make a religion set up that works cohesively with it. i am wondering if you possibly might have some tips and tricks for how to go about my alicorn religions.

The most important thing about religion is that it's made up. If it is based in observable fact, then it's not religion; it's just culture.

Paying taxes and bowing to the king is based on observable orders. Believing that the king has a divine right to be king, or that he has powers/blessings granted to him by birth/status is religion.

In skyscraper gods, things are different because believing something about a god actually has the power to make it true, or at least influence the god's form/powers in an abstract way. My gods are influenced/given power by belief and worship.

In the human world, you can believe whatever you want about any person or god, and that doesn't make it real. If there are gods about, they are unlikely to be controlled by human religion, and definitely aren't spawned by such (or we would have a lot more gods than we do)

In a normal world, religion is not based on observable fact, and it is designed and maintained by the people themselves.

So from my limited understanding of world religions, there are four "needs" that religion is designed to fill: Community, Ritual, Meaning, and Ethics.

I went off the deep end and wrote an essay about my philosophy. Whoops, hope you enjoy:

Community

Humans need community, and many religions involve gathering and doing activities together. This makes religion incredibly important to human social health, as we often fail to fill our need for community because we don't immediately die without it. Under capitalism especially, we are incentivized to ignore as many human needs as possible in order to be productive/survive. Religion makes itself more important than simple survival, and ensures we fill certain needs by promising metaphysical rewards.

Ritual

Ritual is also incredibly important to human health. We thrive when we have a consistent schedule to the day, month, season, and year. It helps us save our brain bandwidth if we already know what basic tasks will happen today. Instead of doing math to figure out optimum times to do so, we socialize, come of age, physically touch, meditate, sing, mourn, plant crops, travel, cook, keep records, hunt, celebrate, and more according to a calendar maintained by religion. These are all important aspects of life that we need to remember to fill, either by logic, community, or religion. Science even backs up the need for ritual, with brain pathways growing best in response to consistent habit-keeping. But brains aren't observable for most people, so we have culture and religion to keep time instead.

Meaning

Meaning is a tricky one. We ended up with brains big enough to wonder why we exist; a burden few animals share. Scientifically, we thrive in environments/jobs/roles where we feel that what we are doing has value. I look at every part of my life and see the value of being a person, observing and changing my environment. Many people on earth aren't sure that's enough, so they invent an unobservable force that assigns value to their lives and actions. Meaning is easiest to keep track of and believe if others share your definition. Culturally, you have a lot in common with your neighbors, you both probably work toward similar goals (housing, stability, connection with others, secular holidays) and are satisfied when those goals are met. Religiously, you have a lot in common with others in your religion (charity, proselytizing, meditation, celebration) and are satisfied when those goals are met. Religion also provides goals for your entire life and community which are helpfully defined for you, whereas you have to come up with that on your own outside of religion. Doing so can be frightening, frustrating, and difficult, so religion is very rewarding and calming.

Ethics

Lastly, there's Ethics. Not all religion deals with ethics, but many major earth faiths do. Humans desperately need to have a code of ethics to be healthy, and society works best when we all agree on some basics. That way when someone violates a law, you don't have to convince everyone around you that what they did was wrong; there's already a standing defined agreement. Ethics is about rewards as well as punishment. For example if you're the first one to read this whole thing I'll draw a pony for you just dm me. Community ethics are decided by those in power, and "those in power" can be: the people themselves via majority rule, chosen representatives, rich aristocracy, respected philosophers, religious appointees, kings and conquerors, holy mystics, sacred texts, etc etc.

Religion comes in with a code of ethics (written by the religiously powerful) and imposes it on its followers. This is useful and generally brings community harmony when they all agree on something. Religions based on ancient texts are tricky, because old, outdated ethics have to be reinterpreted to fit modern landscape. These interpretations split churches and create sub-religions, which mutate into cults, peter off into nothing, or go to war with each other. It's great fun. At the end of the day, having a group of people who agree on right and wrong within their community is the goal. We just got lost on the part that said everyone else in the world has to obey our ethics or else we're blowing up the planet.

...

Aaaanyway, this was about.... my little pony?

Does Religion Affect Gods?

The first thing you must choose is how much the religion is based on fact, and how much is made up. In my world, there's a lot of things that are made up by ponies, that either become true or influence the god's form/powers in some way. Luna used to be silver, but now she is dark blue.

You can do that, or you can be normal about things. Typically, religion does not actually do anything. Gods are gods whether or not they have worshipers. People believe things that gods tell them, and they make up their own lore as well.

What about People? What about this and that and everything?

You need to decide if your alicorns are participants in the religion about them, or just subjects. Do all/some/any of them take their place as religious figures and command the masses? Do they speak ethics? Do they inform ponies of the powers they have? Do ponies make up abilities they think alicorns have? Do they like being worshiped, or is it more like stalking?

Some alicorns may embrace godhood, while others flee from it. The ones that get the most involved will have influence over how the other alicorns are treated.

Is there a standard to which alicorns must live, failing which they can't be "real" alicorns in society's eyes and are thus shunned/killed? Do the alicorns ever give an opinion that is taken way out of proportion and suddenly became a major religious movement? Are marshmallows illegal because one alicorn doesn't like them? Do ponies get prosecuted for stepping on "sacred" flowers which are just regular lilies? Is there taxes/tithing to alicorns? Are alicorns promoted to political office for nothing except their nature?

How do ponies construct their sermons/temples/practices to fulfill the four tenants of religion? Does alicorn worship provide them with Community, Meaning, Ritual, and Ethics?

Do alicorns actually earn any of this? Are they regular guys that just look special? Can they abuse their powers? Can ponies abuse others in their name? Do the alicorns speak to the masses or to religious leaders? Do they have any control over their legacy or is it out of their hooves? Are they in danger of their worshipers deciding they need to be freed from their mortal bodies? Do religious leaders go power crazy and use alicorns to further their agenda? Are their schisms and wars over beliefs? do the alicorns command their followers to fight each other? Do they fight with each other? Does each alicorn have a different following or are they all part of a shared pantheon? Do they respect each others' role within that or struggle for change?

And remember, what is true for one alicorn/church/sect/country may not be true for another. Variety is the key.

It's all About the Questions

The trick to worldbuilding is to ask a lot of questions. You can answer them as you go, having the answers lead to more questions, or you can ask a bunch at once and answer them all later.

Every decision you make has consequences. Big social movements affect the environment, the environment affects food supply, food supply affects social movements. Everything is connected, and religion makes those connections more magical, for better or for worse.

[moonlitkilljoy]

michie ficrecs!

hi!! i saw @24-guy asking for michie fic recs for what to reread and figured i’d just post the fic rec list i made for my friends :-) i’m making my own post because it has some fics written by 24-guy and i’d feel really weird recommending those directly to zem, but i figured someone else might also be interested fjdjfnd

i've split this list into completed fics and ongoing fics for your viewing pleasure, otherwise they're in no particular order :] let me know if there's any mistakes or misattributions, i didn't get anyone to proof read this for me before posting ^^;

enjoy!

COMPLETED:

Max Jagerman's Socks by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"Max's socks start getting interesting, to the point where people actually notice. They don't even look like stuff he'd own, really."

~4k words, 1 chapter, rated T; pure fluff, 5+1 things, a really cute and cozy secret relationship fic

Dangling from the edge by Olive_of_Vanders / @oliveofvanders

"On that fateful day at the Waylon place, a certain weeb saved the bully."

~1.5k words, 1 chapter, rated T; richie saves max's life at the waylon place, plus bonus points for the uncle paul headcanon :] i actually stumbled upon this while trying to remember which fics i’ve been meaning to rec but it's VERY good so i just had to include it

Near Death Panick by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"Max and Richie panic when Max almost dies and they forget they aren't alone."

~2.5k words, 1 chapter, rated G; richie saves max's life at the waylon place, with added secret relationship <3 a delight to read

Hatchetfield's Finest Breadsticks by KairiTheMango / @kairithemang0

"Richie was unsure if he regretted agreeing to be Max's Algebra tutor just yet, however out of the kindness of his heart (and deep down his desire to spend more time with him) he chose to take the job. How hard could it be really? Just a few hours of extra math, it wouldn't hurt anyone."

~1.5k words, 1 chapter, rated G; a short and sweet tutoring fic!!! real neat

class of 2021 by hatchetscandal

"living it, ten years were just that—ten long years. but looking back, ten years is simply the blink of an eye. or the hatchetfield high school class of 2021 is celebrating their ten year reunion, and things have changed drastically in that time."

~4k words, 1 chapter, rated T; cute future class-reunion fic :]

Michie short series - What the fuck happened last night by bonezthewriter

"Richie wakes up in the bed of Max Jagerman one fateful day. Follow them as they develop their relationship; and themselves."

series: ~5.5k words total, 4 works (4 chapters total), no ratings except for the last work (rated T); possible cw for misunderstandings of a somewhat sexual nature, nothing actually happens but they sure do convince themselves it did

Lost and Found by 24_GUY / @24-guy

"A Canon Divergent AU with Michie secret dating and a lot of suffering for Richie. (Less suffering in the sequel, I'm determined to have a happy ending.)"

series: ~21.5k words total, 2 works (18 chapters total), all works rated T; hurt/comfort + secret relationship, THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. it explores richie’s grief at losing max in a really interesting way and then manages to work in a happy ending <3 cw/tw for detailed depictions of the different stages of grief (especially depression)

cause i can’t help it if you look like an angel by pixelprotag / @milgram

"max finds a pretty cool cosplayer online. halloween rolls around, and it turns out he goes to his school."

~1.5k words, 1 chapter, rated T; a really cute fic surrounding the idea of richie doing cosplay, plus another win for "paul is richie's uncle" truthers :P

Paul Matthews and his many children by ThatStar_Guy

"Paul acquires his first adopted son when his sister kicks out his nephew, Richie, because of his sexuality. Richie goes to Paul for help, and he and Emma are glad to provide it. He acquires his second adopted son when Tom perishes in an explosion. Tim, having no other family, comes to live with them. He acquires his first unofficial son when Pete starts spending every day at his house. He acquires his first unofficial daughter when Ruth also spends every minute at his house. He acquires his second unofficial daughter when Grace starts dating Ruth. He acquires his first blood daughter with Emma when they are 32. He acquires his first son in law when Richie marries Max at 20. He acquires his first unofficial daughter in law when Pete marries Steph at 22. He acquires his first grandchild when Richie and Max adopt at 24. He acquires his first and second unofficial grandkids when Pete and Steph are 25."

~3k words, 1 chapter, rated G; a "paul is richie’s uncle” fic taken to the extreme in the absolute BEST way possible. mostly paul centric and focused on paul/emma, with background richie/max, grace/ruth, and pete/steph as far as ships go. THIS ONE IS OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!!! lots of Black Friday references

r/TrueOffMyChest by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"I (21m) am in love with my roommate and former bully victim (20m)"

~3k words, 1 chapter, rated G; future fic, in-universe reddit post format. this ones clever and addresses just how shitty Max was in highschool

Maybe We Can Find A Home Here by 24_GUY / @24-guy

"Max confides in Ruth once, and gets a family out of it."

~3k words, 1 chapter, rated T; a really cute ruth and max friendship fic. words cannot express how much i adore it :3

UNFINISHED:

Won't you pray for me? by Whowillprayforyou / @whowillprayforyou

"Max Jägerman is as straight as a board, as per the norm with being who he is. King of the school, Star quarterback. He's got one weakness, Repressed nerds, and thankfully Grace chasity isn't letting up any time soon. Imagine his surprise when his focus shifts to a different not so repressed nerd, after a life changing event. Even more shocking, said nerd is Richard Lipschitz."

~17k words, 5 chapters, no rating as of posting; richie saves max’s life at the waylon house, slow burn ensues <3 i'm literally obsessed with this one

Zeek: The Fighting Nighthawk by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"Max strikes up conversation with their school mascot without knowing who's under the costume. Richie just goes with it, even through that massive anxiety… which fades so quickly for some reason. He learns so much about Max, and he'd never seen him so relaxed before. It's not so bad."

~9k words, 4 chapters, rated T as of posting; secret identity shenaniganery >:] I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH. it's probably one of my favorite npmd fics. plus, this one has the “trevor is richie’s twin” headcanon in a really prominent way which the author executes really well

Car Lights by 24_GUY / @24-guy

"When Richie takes Amanda - his best friend's daughter and his goddaughter - to the grocery store to fill their day, he least expects to run into Max Jägerman of all people."

~36k words, 18 chapters, rated T as of posting; future fic with background steph/pete and some really sweet ruth and max friendship moments :3 I FUCKING ADORE THIS ONE!!! another great twin headcanon piece as well. it should be noted that i've been a dancer for 15 years and this is somewhat of a dancer au, so i may be biased

Beanies by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"As soon as Max turned 16, his father began berating him to get a job so he could pay rent for his room. Actually, that’s a lie. It started a couple weeks before he turned 16. To “give him time.” He actually expected Max to have a job as soon as he was 16. It wasn’t so bad at first, since he didn’t have school and he could manage his part-time job and whatever sport practice he had going on at that time. But once the school year started… Max was always a bully. But in his junior year, he became a literal monster. OR: Max works at Beanies and accidentally sort of makes friends with a regular customer who just happens to be a nerd."

~16k words, 9 chapters, rated G as of posting; paul is richies uncle and theres a background focus on paul/emma. probably my all time favorite michie fic— lotta well thought out references to the other musicals. i've been rereading at least part of it every day for the last couple days, its just that good

thanks for reading!!

feel free to drop into my ask box to talk about any of these or just hatchetfield stuff in general ^w^ have a lovely day/night

[downtherabbitholethatisanime]

It's 4am and too hot to sleep so you know what that means?? Time to do MATH :D

In ascendance of a bookworm they mention the price of a lot of things and the mention of 'silver coins' or 'gold coins' makes it sound like a lot right there and from the reactions of everyone else around myne it's clear she's spending alot. But I have absolutely no clue how shocked I'm supposed to be cause myne herself doesn't seem to have any problem with throwing money at things she wants. Leise, Fridas chef, actually comments on it in the side chapters of the LNs saying that a poor girl suddenly coming into a lot of money all at once has clearly skewed her sense of money.

So I'm gonna do a very simple conversion just to make the math easier

10 lions=10 cents

Small copper=10 lions=$0.10

Middle copper=100 lions=$1.00

Large copper=1,000 lions=$10.00

Small silver=10,000 lions=$100.00

Large silver=100,000 lions=$1,000.00

Small gold=1,000,000 lions=$10,000.00

Large gold=10,000,000 lions=$100,000.00

So $0.30 for some fruit at a market. Giving a 6 year old a couple dollars as thank for walking your daughter home.

After that it falls apart a bit. Tulli and mynes mom are really excited to be making $2 a hairclip to the point of pulling all nighters. Then again in the light novel myne also shows a lot of surprise that they're so excited over making so little. She has to rationalize with herself that in Japan small crafts like bracelets were sold for 100 yen and she later finds out that the baskets they made the year before likely paid only a couple small copper on top of the families having to provide their own materials.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong on this cause I'm too lazy to try to find the chapter but Ralph working part time as an apprentice brings home about 8 large copper a month. Or 80$. He's a child only working 3 out of 7 days a week so let's say people who just sign on to be full time (can't remember the term) make double as newly signed apprentices to keep math easy. That's 320$ a month

They're poor and they're not affected by late stage capitalism so this math is still fine especially since it's normal to have several working people

Lutz states later that he feels weird saving money when the most any poor commoner saves is stashing loose copper around the house for winter prep. So 5-10$ stashed here and there as emergency money.

Benno offers myne 2 small gold for the rinsham recipe as a way to help myne save for her devouring. She raises it to 3 and benno, a rich store owner, is incapable of going higher. With this conversion he offered 20,000$ and agreed to 30,000$. Given the circumstances the conversion still holds pretty well

Apprentice outfits for Lutz and myne are either 8 or 11 small silver I can't remember. So between 800 and 1,100$ for hand stitched work clothes for a high end store. Which means it has to be made with higher quality materials and made to order.

So when myne offers a large gold to enter the temple she's offering $100,000. It's no wonder everyone was shocked

Slight spoilers

I'm pretty sure the reward for helping Angelica pass her classes was a small gold for Damuel and Bridgette and a recipe for Cornelius. Thats 10,000$, enough to make a poor lay noble like Damuel weep tears of joy cause he can finally pay off a debt.

She tells the other dutchys she spent 18 LARGE gold on making a book of another dutchys history. She spent $1,800,000 on materials for a hobby (of course it was less for her since she made the stuff in her own workshop but no one else knows that and shes not about to explain it)

This girl is absolutely insane with money no wonder everyone is speechless

Someone add more examples cause thinking it out like this is actually so funny

[corpsepng]

Pls make a list of books you recommend to aspiring writers<3

Ok. Aspiring/burgeoning writer starter kit:

In writing anything you officially become a writer so that’s step one haha, no need to aspire too much. BUT. I’m going to soapbox for a bit using this ask as an excuse love u kissing u etc. So. This will barely be about books, but sort of the recipe of what I (personally and subjectively) think will help anyone who wants to grow their craft. (I know because I've been writing seriously for 14 years)

The act of writing is the best practice you can get but having a well from which to draw on creatively and skill wise in order to DO that practice is the trickier part. And sometimes we can be found lacking because we’re either NOT refilling that well enough, consciously enough, or only with the same sorts of things so it gets stagnant. This is a long one so I’ll shove it under the cut haha.

The recipe:

Study craft

Broaden horizons 

Diversify consumption

Consume with intention

Apply with reference

1) Study craft: this is the easiest to make sense of, right? I want to get good at writing so I read books about writing yada yada. Whatever you’re writing, it’s made up of a lot of moving parts, and you can dedicate time studying EACH PART, but figure out what you have the least experience with, or the most difficulty with, and start there. Also, before I go on to preach about why you shouldn’t solely stake your growth on some dusty old books, here’s some dusty old books I recommend:

The Elements of Style (strunk/white/kalman) (really quick and abbreviated advice, read every bit of this but remember: rules are important to know so you can decide which are worth following and which are in need of breaking for the pursuit of your goals. And nobodies perfect, or editors wouldn’t have a job)

Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott) (excellent work about fostering a process, important for everyone who finds themselves a little lost on how to just. Start)

Wonderbook (Jeff Vandermeer) (I haven’t read this one but knowing Vandermeers work this is on my TBR and I KNOW it’s going to be enlightening)

How to Read Literature like a Professor (Thomas C. Foster) (perfect for those who can see others stories working but unsure how to make their own work, I personally didn’t read much of this one but this will help people to more critically engage with what they’re consuming)

Save the Cat Writes a Novel/Joseph Campbells Hero’s Journey/On Writing and Worldbuilding/etc (all of these are on structure and craft in a concrete sense), I would recommend either choose one OR getting the abbreviated/digestible versions through YouTube because a lot of these can repeat themselves. I’m working on a playlist of writing craft/structure videos that I found helpful, so keep an eye out for that)

So. Studying craft should be a multidisciplinary process. Articles online, videos on niche media, books on craft or copying things from your favorites, looking for yourself in the movies you watch or fiction you read. Punctuation, prose, structure, rhetoric, character, world building, pacing, etc. Unfortunately, no matter how seasoned you become as a writer, you will always be learning new things about the craft itself.

It should be fun and I honestly feel like an enlightened little scientist when I see something that really cracks the open the magic for me (ex: scenes that serve more than one purpose are OF COURSE going to be more engaging that scenes with only one purpose- duh) (of COURSE magic systems should have a cost) (of COURSE the characters cant always win OR always lose)

2) Broaden horizons: consuming fiction and studying it is key to knowing how to reproduce it. We start with the training wheels of imitation before we ride away full speed into truly unique original storytelling. But the most impactful and thought-provoking stories are more than just fiction, so you need to know more than stories. Science, history, art, craft, math, music, cooking, psychology, religion, whatever!

Everyone always parrots “write what you know”, but what you KNOW can expand to influence what you write- so keep learning new things all the time and for fun, because you never know what could help your story. Your knowledge is not limited to experience alone, and research is your best friend. ASOIAF was so loved because George RR Martin loved not only fantasy, but British history. The Folk of the Air series is so loved because Holly Blacks special interest is faeries.

Note: this does not mean the study of OTHER PEOPLES trauma and experiences in an appropriative way, rather, become worldly. Because sure, knowing what a gunshot feels like adds realism, but I don’t care about realism if I don’t care about your characters or world. Science fiction is the best example of this: so many of those stories stick with us generationally because they’re pointing a lens back at humanity, asking big philosophical questions with science, which is something that touches us all.

But it doesn’t even need to be Big and Thematic like that. My dear friend @chaylattes has a project where she’s applied her love of plants to the world building AND plot, and has INVENTED whole plant species that enriched their work with something so exclusively Chay. No one else could write Andromeda Rogue because Chay, with specific interests and knowledge, put that specificity into the story.

3) Diversify consumption: surrounding yourself with more of the same means you’re going to regurgitate the same, derivatively. To be a hater for a moment: I can tell within the first chapter if someone only reads/watches one kind of media (m*rvel, fairy smut, grim dark nonsense, etc), and it’s distracting. When I read that derivative work, I’m not thinking about THEIR story. All I can think of is the people who did it first, and better.

Alternatively, the best work draws on the unexpected. Fantasy work taking notes from horror, science fiction including humanistic romance, romance with elements of mystery. RF Kuangs work feels so smart because she’s literally a PHD candidate who’s reading of academic writing. Cassandra Clares work is so interpersonally messy and hard to look away from because she watches a lot of reality television. 

Genre is less a set of cages to lock yourself inside of and more so the sections of a great big fictional playground- and you need to start playing. Rules, again, are guidelines that can be bent for the sake of your stories. I predominantly write scifi/fantasy/horror but some of my favorite stuff is literary fiction, historical nonfiction, thrillers, and poetry.

And if you can’t bring yourself to read different genres, it takes significantly less effort to WATCH different genres. Television and film are stories too, and can absolutely be learned from. 

4) Consume with intention: this is easier said than done. I, embarrassingly, admit that I did not have any reading comprehension skills until I was at least 19. I was consuming, but I wasn’t thinking a damn critical thought, just spitting it back out in a way that sounded smart.

Critical thinking skills (I say, on the website that historically lacks such a thing) are a muscle that needs to be exercised just as often as your writing muscle. Reading new work, studying craft, learning new shit- none of it matters if you can’t APPLY it all to a story. One can take a clock apart to learn how exactly it ticks, but it won't tell time like a watch until you put it back together.

The key is asking questions, all of the time about everything. That whole “why the curtains were blue” nonsense comes to mind, but if you want to be a good writer, (edit: a writer that cares about whether or not their work is vapid imitation of better work) learning to ask WHY the curtains are blue really does matters.

Ask why in ALL stories you consume, including your own. Why do Ghibli films make me feel calm? (Motifs of undisturbed nature, low stakes plots and quiet scenes of reprieve between action, characters that care about one another and aren’t afraid to show it) Why do I fly through a Gillian Flynn novel but take 8,000 years to read other books? (Concise descriptions, realistic but evocative premise, witty voice, contained and fast paced plot, an abundance of questions driving the mystery leading up to a satisfying crash of answers at the end) Why were the curtains blue, the coffee cup chipped, and the lipstick stain on the rim red instead of purple or pink? And why did the colors matter at all when the scene is about a father at a kitchen table? (You tell me!) Answers may vary.

You can put the work into learning the answer at the source (ie: listening to authors talk about their own work), or through the external interpretations of a critic (proceed with caution here), sure. These are even good when learning HOW to think critically if you don’t even know where to start. But your growth as a writer depends on your ability to answer your OWN questions. 

(Why do I feel tense in this scene? Is it because the character says they’re sweating and struggling to breathe? Is it because I’ve been told the monsters close? Is it because the sentences are getting shorter and the author keeps repeating descriptions of that monsters massive bloody teeth coming closer? Or is it because I know the gun in her hands has no bullets because another character already tried what she’s about to try?)

(Why do I feel sad in this scene? Is it because the characters mom just died? Is it because the character can’t even verbalize that sadness to others? Is it because none of the other characters seem to care enough to ask? Is it because of the wilted flowers in the corner? Or is it because there are daisies in the bouquet, and those were the moms favorite?)

I can nod and smile at 1000 opinions about “why X did Y and the end of Z” or “why X is Y and not Z” but how I felt when I consume something, how I was affected and how it made ME PERSONALLY answer my critical questions, that’s what’s important. That’s how we manufacture gay subtext in everything, because sometimes gay is a feeling as opposed to a fact.

Also, if those subjective answers are inconsistent among readers/viewers, the writer likely had their own intentions a little muddled. So, and I know I’m getting tangential but stay with me: romance. You know how you’re supposed to feel happy or convinced that the people falling in love are like, in love? And want to put yourself in that position or whatever? I CANNOT consume most romance media because it all comes off as categorically terrifying to me. I ask myself why the characters are doing what they do, reacting the way they react, saying way they say, and none of it feels romantic. I want to file a restraining order, and that’s the failing of the author, who did not make enough conscious choices in their work and accidentally created horror while writing their color by numbers trope slop of a “romance” novel. 

5) Apply with reference: is like taking all your ingredients and finally cooking. You want people to notice and respect when you add certain literary devices, descriptions, character choices, but not to the detriment of your work. Shows like stranger things are popular but divisive because their intertextuality and reliance on nostalgia bolster an otherwise unoriginal idea. They weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel, they were writing a love letter to Stephen Spielberg, and are riding that wave into the ground. But the fairy dick renaissance doesn’t feel nearly as palatable as season one of stranger things did because a lot of times they aren’t using the ingredients in their own way, rather, following the recipe to a T and selling it as new. Food really is the perfect metaphor and sorry in advance because I’m really going to run with it here lol. 

When I eat a meal, first of all I know I'm eating food, so don't try and trick me into thinking otherwise or I'll only get annoyed. I want to be able to taste all of what’s in front of me, spice, salt, sweet, bitter, etc and know what what you said you've fed me is really actually truly what I've eaten. One ingredient, or writing choice, shouldn’t overpower another, or surprise me so much I can’t take another bite. I shouldn’t try something you call “sauced and baked yeast patty garnished with fermented milk and smoked meat” and think “this shits pizza” because you didn’t even try to jazz it up more than what the instructions on the digiorno box said. I also shouldn’t bite into something you call a pizza and only taste bread because you really like bread and forgot that a pizza is more than just bread. 

But inversely, avoiding all ingredients gets you weird, nary inedible shit like charred milk reduction with lamb mist or whatever. Show me you have knowledge in your genre by referencing it AND remixing it, show me that you studied craft by foreshadowing properly or pacing well, show me you’re more than an AI writerbot by deepening your work with your unique and human influence, show me you read broadly by adding surprising ingredients, and show me that you mean every word you write because you made the curtains blue instead of yellow, and topped your pizza with pepperoni instead of pineapple.

Congrats on making it all the way through my rambling, hope I made sense and that this helped!

[lunebits]

ap class tips

for those in ap classes who are struggling. also for those who aren't really. whatever.

just as an intro to my qualifications:

i go to a stem high school (will be graduating next sem!) where all the classes are already advanced as is (our ap classes are also taught differently!) i've taken a total of 10 ap classes during my time, and while that isn't as much as others, i'd say i have a pretty good spread of ap classes i took!

general ap class tips

remember that the ultimate goal for you taking this course is to take the exam and get a 4/5 (reach for that 5!). yes, the grade is important, but that score at the end after that exam might save anywhere from $600-$1200+ in college. so focus your energy on that exam once the exams are encroaching!

make friends in your ap classes. trauma bonding is real (/j) so making friends that will help you study or might save you when you accidentally forgot is key.

and while they all say "study a bit every night!" that's hard to do. the rule of thumb here for every class will be in the categorized sections, so don't worry (i gotchu!!)

ap math (calc ab/bc, stat, physics, chem, etc.)

i personally didn't take physics or chem bc i didn't want to, but i did take bc and got a 5 (yes, i'm so proud)!

rule of thumb for studying at home: do your homework everyday and actually take the time to understand what the hell you're doing. understand what the process is behind solving the problem. be able to pull out the variables. practice, practice, practice. also, this is one of those subjects where it's actually worth it to study it at home everyday.

ANOTHER RULE: practice tests. these math exams are about stamina and speed. if you can solve a problem, great! but now here comes 20 more screaming your name. but, if you can get the timing down before your exam, that's even better. so go waste your saturday afternoon at that mock exam if you need to. another saturday will come in time anyway. ask your teacher for mock exams. get that practice workbook. whatever it takes. get the timing in your hand.

just as a quote from my teacher, "life is about choices, and we are all busy people." don't waste your time doing something that'll waste your time. even if you can't remember it, that's okay. just keep moving and score more points somewhere else. and also, do the easy route. only memorize the easy route.

math is about patterns. patterns rule math. extract that pattern out of that problem, memorize it, and you'll be just fine.

FRQS WILL HURT YOUR BRAIN AND THAT'S OKAY! collegeboard has a very specific way it wants you to answer these questions. the best way to learn the format is to do so many frqs your hands hurt. because in any exam that involves math, you genuinely need to do better on the frqs. they'll land you more points. yes, the mcq might get you that 5, but the frqs become the basic 3 or 4 that you need. your teacher will hopefully teach you the format, but if they don't, the collegeboard ap website has all the past frqs they've ever made.

YOU WILL BE OKAY. I PROMISE. make sure that if you cry, you understand your disappointment then move on to a larger action plan.

ap histories/humanities (art history, u.s history, euro, world, etc.)

i've taken all the histories that my school offers (apush, euro, apwh, apah, etc.)

rule of thumb: don't study at home unless there's a test coming up or you're bad at putting stuff in order.

GET YOUR WRITING SKILLS DOWN PAT. this is the thing that'll get you the most points. that mcq section is a killer, but doing 3-6 (looking at you apah exam) right after might just kill you. so please, get your stamina up. just write. just keep writing.

timeline shit for history. because when it comes down to it, knowing the sequence of events and knowing the events themselves are more important than dates or whatever.

if you're worried about coherency in your writing, jot down a small pre-writing list.

memorize every single rubric. luckily, the dbq/leq rubric is the same across apush, apwh, and euro. you'll get away with just memorizing the two. the apah rubric is a little different, and the ap lit rubric is a little different. just memorize them as best you can.

when writing, cater to your reader. make things easy to spot and easy to grade. they'll give you a higher score if they can clearly see where things are.

just practice mcqs. all the stimulus will have something you can pull out of it (unless it's like apah where you're meant to memorize the works). but every question will have an answer that's in the passage. practice finding that answer. (this one is still really hard)

all these tests are tests of stamina. and sometimes, they're on the same goddamn day because collegeboard hates love us. just keep going. grab a snack. rest your eyes, go.

essays are the bane of everyone’s existence in ap courses because you’re on this strict rubric and have this mythical complexity/sophistication point that you need to give your hopes and dreams of achieving. BUT. but. you’ll be okay. especially for exams like the ap lit/apah exam, you get to come in knowing at least a bit of the exam (for ap lit, a good part of the frq weight. for apah, 90% of the test). TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT!! know a novel inside and out. know the works inside and out. you’ll be okay. stretch your hands, breathe, write.

ap sciences (bio, physics, chem, psych, econ)

i've personally taken bio and both econs, but these are all concept based, so the same general tips apply.

rule of thumb: if you don't understand it in class, you need to study it at home asap. seriously. because you sure as hell won’t be able to put it together during class the next day. whats good though is that there’s so many resources online (esp videos!!) for all the ap sciences that it’s actually crazy.

read your textbook. science is great with a textbook in your hand. you don't even need to read the whole thing. just skim through it to add information to your class notes. most times that works.

because the questions are concept based, the mcq/frqs are a little hard to get used to. SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: don’t ignore your responsibilities and learn what these questions look like.

flashcards. USE FLASHCARDS. so much of science is not only understanding concepts but applying them. to apply them, you need to know them by heart. and to know them by heart means flashcards to drill yourself.

and speaking of applying your knowledge, you need to take things slowly. approach questions with this framework: 1) read the problem + understand what concept it’s asking about. 2) pull out that information from your sexy brain. 3) solve the problem based on what you can remember. to truly understand, include a lot of examples in your notes. AND MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHY AND HOW THEY WORK. the why and the how are more important than the what.

misc tips 🌷

burnout is inevitable if you don’t manage your time correctly. there’s people online that can explain how to manage your energy more than me so please go watch them instead lmfao

try your best to stay on your schedule. the more you push your tasks to this arbitrary tomorrow, the more you absolutely won’t do them.

honey, you need to bring a snack and a water bottle to those exams, you get like a 10 minute break that isn’t enough for the mental taxation (without representation) that happens on those exams. they’re brutal.

the classes themselves are not as bad you think. i promise. most of the time, you’ll actually have fun. and it’s really cool to be learning at a college level. so keep at it! the moment you hate something, the moment you begin to stop trying as hard and your grades start slipping. keep finding the next thing to delude yourself into enjoying (/hj).

[isagrimorie]

You know what I've wanted but I never thought they'd address in Star Wars Ahsoka?

Ahsoka's tendency to be just as lethal as Anakin. Obi-Wan could never kill Anakin but I believe with all my heart despite loving Anakin and maybe even because she loves Anakin, Ahsoka would have killed Anakin if she were in Mustafar too.

It would have broken Ahsoka but she would have gone through with it -- I believe she'd have done it too in Malachor, she'd die trying at least.

(source: @padawan-tano from this gifset)

But also at 16 years old, she beheaded 4 Death Watch members SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Even if Obi-Wan can do this move, he wouldn't choose to do this move because he wasn't a Wartime Jedi. I don't remember if this is before or after the Citadel arc. Looking it up, yeah, the Citadel arc happened in season 3, the Citadel mission was one of the hardest missions she's been on in her young life.

There was a reason neither Obi-Wan and Anakin wanted her there, so Plo-Koon, what the hell!? (I love you Plo-Koon but you spoil Ahsoka).

As this meta points out the Citadel arc is when the war gets real for Ahsoka in a way she can't just push away.

It's subtle and it's not called out but Ahsoka basically does something that Anakin did where Anakin stabs a bad guy in the back and the first notes of the imperial march begin to sound.

And ironically it's to save Tarkin.

Ahsoka had to stab an enemy in the back to save Tarkin (of all people, I bet Ahsoka regrets saving Tarkin years later).

The way Ahsoka stares dazedly at the man she killed by stabbing him in the back... The Citadel arc was rough on Ahsoka.

And then Tarkin tells Anakin: "You've trained her well."

No wonder Ahsoka's afraid she was a little too much like Anakin.

It doesn't help that a ghost of a potential future tells her:

(source by @mlmanakin)

“There is a wildness to you, young one. Seeds of the dark side planted by your master. Do you feel it?”

and then later: "There are many contradictions in you... and in him."

And I am so, so excited that we might be delving into Ahsoka's contradictions. She can be the warmest person in the room but god, can she also make the coldest, most pragmatic decisions for war.

Easily one of the coldest was her decision to set Maul free and use him as a distraction during the Siege of Mandalore - Shattered.

(source by @manny-jacinto)

Ahsoka doesn't want to directly kill or maim the Clone Troopers herself, but it doesn't mean she won't use someone else to do it.

If Maul dies in this, it would be one more thing off her hands.

And I don't think people really get what function Ahsoka served in the fledgling rebellion-- she was basically in Luthen's role in Andor. She's not as quick to go to the most expedient solution, but it doesn't mean she won't.

In season 1 of Star Wars Rebels Ahsoka, as Fulcrum, told Hera to leave Kanaan in the hands of the inquisitor, knowing full well what would be done to Kanaan. She was in the Citadel arc where Jedi were imprisoned, tortured, and killed. Ahsoka knew. But she did the cold math in her head -- but if it weren't for Ezra's message that reminded Ahsoka who she was fighting for and why....)

Ahsoka basically did the cold math in her head at the start of 1x04, Fallen Jedi, when she told Sabine they might have to destroy the map and strand Ezra in another universe in order to keep Thrawn from entering their galaxy and restarting another war.

This is why Baylan's condemnations:

Really, really got to Ahsoka.

When Ahsoka told Sabine in 1x03, that anger unbalances her -- it's extra true of Ahsoka.

But I also don't want to discount what Ahsoka's mother taught her about death, how one must respect death but not fear it, and how that might have influenced Ahsoka's understanding of death as a warrior.

Still, I feel Ahsoka has the same fear as Buffy did -- that all this killing has made her cold with a bonus fear that she might be too like her old Master and fall into the dark side.

I'm so excited for 1x05 and see how this will all tie together now that she's seeing Anakin again. Snips and Skyguy have a lot to talk about and resolve.

[ober-affen-geil]

@januarydivide this one is for you!

In this post that I added to yesterday I talked about some of what a library degree encompasses, and other people have added in the notes about even more. Also in that post, I said that when I was in college I chose to pursue an archive specialty under the Information Science umbrella, so I'm going to talk about what being an archivist actually is!

First, like STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math), there is actually an acronym that covers the Information Science professions: GLAM or GLAMR, Galleries, Libraries, Archives, Museums and sometimes Records depending on who is using the acronym. I bring this up because explaining what an archive is, and what an archivist does, I've found works best if I compare it to things people already are familiar with.

If anyone has any questions, either about something I didn't answer or something I didn't clarify, please ask! Also, if there are any archivists out there who see this and want to add commentary please do so!

Anyhow. Museums, Libraries, and Archives.

Museums are (mostly) public places you can visit that hold collections made up of objects that visitors can look at but not touch (usually), nor can they be taken home.

Libraries are (mostly) public places you can visit that keep collections of published media that visitors can look at, touch, and take home.

Archives are (mostly) public places you can visit that store collections of unpublished, unique primary source material that visitors can look at, usually touch, but can't take home. Things you will typically find in an archive include letters, diaries, scrapbooks, photos, memos, unpublished drafts, and more. Often "special collections" areas include newspaper archives (sometimes on microfilm) and rare books that are old enough or unique enough that they need specialized care or restricted handling. Just like specialized subject libraries like law libraries or medical libraries, there are archives that are specific to mediums like audio/visual (A/V) archives and digital archives.

The most important thing to keep in mind is, because archive collection materials are by nature completely unique, no archive is the same.

So. What does an archivist do? For perspective, my background is primarily in university collections that are mostly paper based but have a smattering of other materials. Currently I work in a historic home that has a significant paper collection as well as an object collection.

Ultimately, it is the archivist's job to a) make sure the collection materials are actually useable by patrons, b) help people trying to use the collection access it, and c) ensure the long term safety/security of the collection by caring for the materials. (All while remembering that the collection creators were people and their agency needs to be part of the ethical balance.)

Let's break that down.

Making the collection useable. With paper collections, the big step here is what's called "processing"; trying to determine if there is an "original order" that the creator of the collection kept and creating one if there isn't. This also includes shifting the materials into acid free folders and boxes, assigning them internal unique identifiers/shelf locations, and creating a "finding aid" that is similar to the index of a book that has a top-level summary of what's in the boxes/folders. Most times (but not always), this includes creating what's called "metadata" that covers descriptors that helps to catalog the material internally and makes the collection material searchable externally. For A/V material this can also include creating subtitles/transcripts.

Help people access the collection. This is mostly down to being as knowledgeable as possible about the collection(s) that are in the archive, and also a little bit of other collections that have related material. Sometimes people come to the archive knowing exactly what they want, usually tracking a reference from a published source. This is incredibly rare. Usually what happens is people are working on a project and they have a subject area they know they need to research. The archivist's job at that point is to recommend which materials, if any in the collection, would be most helpful for them to look at. Archives are typically also what's called "closed stacks", meaning that the physical materials in the collection are not accessible by anyone but the staff. Requested material is brought out individually to the visitor, and it's the archivist that does this. If the person needs to use special equipment to access the material (a microfilm machine, a reel to reel player, etc) or if the material has special needs associated with it (a book cradle, photographs out of sleeves, textiles or objects, etc) it's the archivist's job to facilitate that.

Caring for the collection. I've put this last, but it is without at doubt the most important part of an archivist's job. This encompasses everything from monitoring for pest activity, ensuring the temperature and humidity of the collection storage area is constant and safe for the materials, cleaning/maintaining materials, and sometimes advocating for funding from within or without the organization that the archive is part of. This can also include raising public awareness of the collection materials by creating exhibits and/or creating handout materials, leading educational sessions/workshops, and maintaining a social media presence.

This is by no means a comprehensive overview of everything that being an archivist is, but it's a taste of some of the things I've been responsible for while I've been one.

[f0point5]

Feel free to ignore this, but I was reading your older work of Max and Emillia (the few Jos Verstappen related chapter) and was stuck with some thoughts I needed to vomit out.

I have seen so many people hate on Jos Verstappen and say how Max should cut him off, and that Max would be better off without him, that he is nothing but a abusive narcissist and cannot help but think how simplistic that line of thought is. Don't get me wrong Jos is totally a horrible person and father, but that does not mean he is not one of the reasons that Max has achieved so much success and has the competitive mindset.

Now I am not in favour of abuse, in fact I relate to Max and Jos relationship alot as it is quite similar to the one I have with my parents. Asian Tiger parents (most of the stereotypes are true in my case) but they broke their backs providing for me. Any want or comfort of mine was above their need. They were hard on me, too hard alot of times but without it my siblings and I won't have achieved whatever we had.

I hate my parents for the number of time they made me stay awake till late at night, until I got a math concept down and then woke me up early to revise it but at the same time I remember that they too were awake with me, sitting beside my table (occasionally smacking the back of my head or making sharp comments), but they were awake despite having come from 10 hours of work and being dead tired. I also can't ignore that the fact such childhood was what made it possible to be able to give my last semester exams with 102 fever, in-between blood transfusions and constant saline drips and still score good.

So I understand how complicated relationship between Max and Jos could be and how you could be resentful but grateful at the same time. I would never be such a parents to

I truly believe people who take the line of “Jos should be burnt at the stake” were not in competitive environments as a child. Parents pour their hearts, souls, and money into their children’s passion, so yeah they get too involved and too personal and often too pushy. At a high level, more often than not they are too pushy. Because if your child comes to you and says they want something that only 0.00001% of people ever get (whether that’s an F1 seat, an Olympic medal, or a career in the arts) you are going to have to want it as much as they do in order for them to get there. Some days you will have to want it more than they do, because at 11 a kid isn’t going to want to be in a go kart every weekend. But at 20 they will be glad you made sure they were. So there’s that to start.

Similarly, like you said, for every moment you were up at 10pm wanting to sleep, so were they. For every time Max was driving a kart around in the rain, Jos was standing by the braking point coaching him. Jos drive back and forth from Italy in a van every weekend. Jos poured millions of his own money into his child. He gave up time with his daughter to be there for Max. He sacrificed his career for Max’s. Anyone can debate whether that was the right thing to do, but no one can argue that it is a small thing. And if Jos had done less than that, Max wouldn’t be where he is.

It’s a straight lie to say Max would be where he is without Jos, and people might feel better thinking it’s “in spite of him not because of him” because that’s easier to have the “moral high ground” if you look at it that way. People like a black and white story.

To me, it’s obvious that Jos absolutely adores Max and he tried to be the best father he could. Was he the perfect father? No. Was he even a good one? I guess that’s debatable. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his son. People like to think that loving someone means the rest of your relationship is going to be healthy, or hold up against the scrutiny of people who think they know better and that’s not the case. Love doesn’t fix anything. The same way being a parent doesn’t turn you into a person different than who you are.

Idk, as someone who had a dad who lived vicariously through me for a lot of his life, and wasn’t always kind, or even halfway decent, I can say that as an adult he is still the person I would trust most in the world in a crisis. He may not have gone about being a dad the right way because he didn’t have the emotional tools, there is no one in this earth who wants the best for me more than him. And as an adult, that’s actually the important part, because I’ve learnt to take on board what I need for him and leave the rest out. And I presume that’s at least partially where Max is with it. I do have a lot of resentment towards my dad, it’ll never feel good to look back and remember how much all those situations hurt as a child. But at the same time I’m happy with who I am, and I wouldn’t be the same person if my life had been different so…how much of that would I change? It’s not a straightforward answer.

At the end of the day, the only person Jos needs to square the past with is his kids, and he seems to have close relationships with them. His adult children seem to find value in having him in their lives and Max in particular feels he has a lot to thank his dad for, so idk why people think they know the situation better than the person who lived it. It’s wild to me how comfortable people are saying Max needs to cut off his dad when that’s so obviously not how he feels, as far as we know.

[ancientgreecehistorynerd]

hi moottt how was ur day?

i have some bookish questions for u bc why not

-what is ur favourite genre of literature?

-what are your top 5 favourite books?

-what are your top 3 favourite authors?

-do you have a favourite book character? if so, who are they? (feel free to list more than one)

-what is your favourite romance trope?

-what do you like to see in a main character?

-what are your thoughts on queer literature?

-what is a bookish pet peeve you have?

-do you like to purchase books, borrow them, or read them online?

-do you often read books translated from other countries?

thats all for now :) have a nice day

hello! i’m doing okay in the middle of moving tho so stressful haha

help did i never answer this? i’m sorry i’m actually tumblr illiterate like crazy

My fav genre is probably hm… def fiction haha young adult and contemporary…? it said those were genres i’m so sorry i don’t know the names of them and i’m an anxious mess! but if it’s got gay people and mental illness i’ll take it. i like dystopian as well!

top five NOT IN ORDER LOL

-girl in pieces by kathleen glasgow

-solitaire by alice oseman

-radio silence by alice oseman

-the perks of being a wallflower by soeben chbosky

-blood of olympus by rick riordan

(they change all the time haha)

-for authors i would def say

-rick riordan

-alice oseman (obv)

-and hm i haven’t read more than one of glasgows books so possibly suzzanne collins maybe? AUGHH IM SO INDECISIVE! (i do have fav fanfic authors tho haha)

NICO DI ANGELO THE SON OF HADES AND WILL SOLACE THE SON OF APOLLO THEYRE FROM RICK RIORDANS GREEK DEMIGODS SERIES(S) AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE MY SPECIAL INTETEST THEIR COOL AS FUCK AND HE IS SO ME I AM SO THEM THEYRE MY EVERYTHING AND I LOVE THEM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF (wait that’s not a good comparison uhh) I LOVE THEM MORE THEN FOOD ITSELF 🗣️

as someone who is demiromantic i’ve got to say friends to lovers since nothing else makes sense in my mind haha other then that hurt/comfort and just being domestic are UGH love it! SUNSHINE X GRUMPY as well. I eat it up everytime.

i love when main characters are similar to me so mentally ill gay very sad etc etc lol but besides that i would say complex? i hate it when authors make “i’m so happy all the time” characters the main character like i need DEPTH where’s the FLAVOR. so i suppose just not being perfect?

there needs to be more of it lol. i’m loving how much of it is being made to day but tbh in my opinion some authors do it wrong… i love when being queer is a major part of a characters personality because well they’re proud! but it’s when an author makes the entire character based off of that with no other personality traits. sexualizing queer relationships too like…. yikes! would love to see some more aroace and genderqueer rep that isn’t just boy/nb/girl tho!

when endings are rushed! it’s terrible i remember i loved this one book when i was younger that had the og “i’m nothing like y’all” as the cover haha. i forget what it was called sorry! but there was a great story and then it ended with her friends saying “sorry for excluding you and they went on to win the state math fair!” what. YOU JUST HAD A FULLY FLESHED OUT STORY AND YOU DID THAT??? i’m sure nobody likes them but they especially piss me off. skipping over important scenes as well and just showing the aftermath! non floppy books. FIX ITTTTT. also tbh smut? i mean i don’t mind it but that’s what ao3 is for i’m fine with the smut where they don’t show it like in charlie and nicks first time in heartstopper where it’s just kinda vague but as soon as i see a dick beint described im OUT. and books that just are smut like dude there’s so many better things you could be writing about!

ngl i am a massive book purchaser. i used to get them all from the library but thennn i got a bookshelf and discovered what annotating is… i just love being able to go back on what i’ve read whenever i want! and the covers are pretty :)

no actually! i don’t think i ever have tbh? i think the only time that happened was when i translated an official nico di angelo short story from italian haha

thank you if you listened to my yap! also i’m so sorry i didn’t see this :( also if i already responded to this and i forgot you can just kill me please and thank you. also have a good day too so sorry i didn’t see this! :(

[rain-is-studying]

do you have any study tips? <3

OMG YES,

I have many!

Always color code using black and blue colors if you're studying math!

I always remember hearing my friends telling me blue helps you remember well, it does! I use my black pen to solve questioms and blue to mark the answers. If i got it wrong, rewrite the solution with blue. Cant figure out the solution or understand it? Reverse engineer the question with blue!

If you're studying any other subjects, try color coding with red, orange, yellow and green. (Its my way of remembering things btw its totally cool if color coding doesnt work cuz everyone has a different way of learning) My brain is visual, I need too see and do in order to learn. So to do that I color code while reading and I think of questions while reading like: "is this a new topic?" RED it's new I don't know it. "Have I read this before?" GREEN! IM GOOD TO GO! "HUH, this topic is pretty in depth" Orange "This experiment is important I might need to try it later" Yellow. After reading the text I always make sure to convert this into a mindmap and then I use the mind map to quiz me.

2. View studying in an essentialist perspective

We always hear people saying studying for longer periods of time is good.

MAJOR FALSE, NOTHING GETS INTO OUR BRAIN! Our bodies can't handle such long periods either. Try to study in a way to get as much done in so little time. It's possible! Plus, you can't read and expect things to get into your head, You need to categorize your information somehow, you need to retrieve the information from your brain and practice at least a gazillion times using flashcards or practice papers! Try to get practical with the knowledge you're consuming if you can because the easiest way to learn is by doing. Don't hesitate to reverse engineer topics you're learning!

What I do is use the mind map I made and use it to reflect as a mind mirror. After I make the mind map, I sit and try to recreate it until I get everything right! Note: no references, in order to make the study session productive is that I avoid the references. You have to force your brain to retreive the information otherwise your brain won't be that helpful during the exam, OR REAL LIFE!!

3. Isolate when you're studying. It removes 90% of your distractions! Always put your phone on do not disturb (remember emergency settings though) if you're in a chaotic home where isolation is impossible go out to study if you can, if you can't do that either shriek I'm studying leave me alone and slam yourself in the room with your headphones and study for as long as you can! When it comes to studying you need strict boundaries with your people. Sterness is an important skill for every aspect of your life and helps you set boundaries efficiently.

Im not sure if my study tips will help you or if they were helpful, but I hope it was! See you ;)

[luckyspike]

Spike's 2024 Reading List

So today (June 21) I was thinking to myself a little lamentation about how little I read compared to when I was a kid. But then I thought, hey, I listen to audiobooks, so actually I read quite a bit more than I think, I just rarely sit down and read a physical book. So I decided to make a list.

And then I thought, it'd be a good idea to put that list somewhere I can find it again, and maybe even write a few sentences about how I felt about each of the books.

And Ked said it was a good idea, so here goes. In rough chronological order, because to be honest I can't remember which order I finished some of these in earlier this year, but I'll try to be more diligent about it moving forward:

Murder on the Links, Agatha Christie - what is there to say? It's a Poirot book. I am a lot like Hastings reading these, trying to figure things out as we go and getting it woefully wrong before the end. The book equivalent of a warm cup of cocoa at bedtime for those who like this kind of thing. 6/10

The Right Stuff, Tom Wolfe - I love two things in literature: murder and adventure. This book definitely favored the latter (no one got murdered although some people did die), and was a fascinating look into the selection of the original astronauts. I did this one on audiobook, and Dennis Quaid read it; not my favorite narrator but he did well. 7/10

The Great Air Race: Glory, Tragedy, and the Dawn of American Aviation, John Lancaster - This scratched the adventure itch, and if you're looking for a lighter read that is ABSOLUTELY WILD look no further. 7/10

Light From Uncommon Stars, Ryka Aoki - I'm sure this book is enjoyable for somebody, but that somebody isn't me. A series of baffling decisions made by the author and characters from beginning to end, punctuated with the most saccharine ending possible. 1/10

Humble Pi: When Math Goes Wrong in the Real World, Matt Parker - Do you like math? Do you think you can stomach an entire chapter about how people misuse Microsoft Excel? I did this on audiobook and if it weren't for the author's infectious enthusiasm as he read I don't think I would have made it through the Excel chapter to be honest. Otherwise an interesting read, though. 4/10

Everybody in My Family Has Killed Someone, Benjamin Stevenson - I LOVE THIS BOOK. I love a murder mystery, the characters were all awful and fascinating in their own way, you couldn't help but feel bad for the main character at every turn, and all in all I couldn't put it down. 10/10

A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson - Exactly what the title says, and although I wouldn't call it a light read it was a nice way to spend my long commutes. The audiobook narrator was very good on this one, and I enjoyed it quite a lot - it also gave me some ideas of books to read next! 7/10

The Body, Bill Bryson - Coming hot off enjoying his other book, I downloaded the audiobook for this right away. And it was ... fine. Interesting, even. But whereas the other book was read by some Shakesperean-actor-sounding British guy, this one was read by the author who has the weirdest accent ever. It was honestly distracting at times. Plus, it ran more on the dry side, with less information about people's petty arguments than the other book. 5/10

Raising Steam, Terry Pratchett - No, although I am a Pratchett superfan I had not read this one yet. It was my last one, and until this year I wasn't ready. And it was good, in a sort of bittersweet way: Pratchett in my opinion was not writing like himself in this book, and the character of Moist seemed a little off at times to me. But I loved it all the same, and nestled it right into the space I have saved for it on my shelf of favorites. 6/10

Midnight in Chernobyl, Adam Higginbotham - Do you love nuclear accidents? Do you love learning about the tiny human mistakes that snowball into a catastrophe? Then this is the book for you! It's a long one, but it gripped me from beginning to end - even though you know what happens, reading about it unfolding step by step is so fascinating. This was an audiobook, and the narrator did a great job as well. 8/10

Ranger Confidential: Living, Working, and Dying in the National Parks, Andrea Lankford - So out the gate I will say that I really, really enjoyed this book, but I got it on audiobook, and for some reason the narrator decided the tone to go with for this book about Park rangers was sultry. Honestly I loved the book, but the narration was so incongruous at times as to be distracting. Still, I will not deduct points for this, because I'm just judging the book. Also, I sobbed like a baby listening to the end while driving to a restaurant to meet my family for my brother's birthday dinner, and it really freaked them all out. 8/10

Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage, Alfred Lansing - When it says incredible, it means incredible. Like holy shit. I listened to this on audiobook, the narrator was on point, and even though I knew sort of what happened during the Shackleton expedition I could not stop listening. Amazing book, I will not say more because honestly just read it. 10/10

Into the Planet: My Life as a Cave Diver, Jill Heinerth - I am not usually one to read memoirs, but on a whim I pulled this one after Audible suggested it based on my prior books. I enjoyed it - Heinerth is a good writer, and her stories about diving and her life are truly fascinating. From actual cave diving (scary), to confronting a burglar (scary), to facing harsh criticism as a female in a male-dominated endeavor (also scary) Heinerth is a strong woman and a great storyteller, and her book was an enjoyable read. 6/10

No Shortcuts to The Top: Climbing the World's 14 Highest Peaks, Ed Viesturs - Again, I am not really a memoir person, but damn if Viesturs doesn't have a hell of a story to tell. Mountaineering has always interested me, and this book was mentioned in a Reddit thread about good books dealing with that subject. Viesturs recounts his journey to becoming the first American to summit all 14 of the world's 8000m+ peaks, and without oxygen to boot, and he does it in grand style. There were parts of the book where I was holding my breath along with the text, waiting to see if he would make it out, or if his partners would. Overall an incredible read, and I'm looking forward to reading his second book about K2 and the history of it later this year! 8/10

Poirot Investigates, Agatha Christie - It's Poirot again! Back with his idiot friend Hastings for a delightful compilation of short mysteries. I have long-since accepted that I am just as stupid as Hastings and incapable of using my little grey cells, and so I get to follow along with Poirot's logic with wonder. Poirot books are what they are: cozy old mysteries with twists and turns and a weird little detective in a snazzy suit, and this book delivered plenty of little bite-sized morsels that I was able to enjoy piecemeal. 7/10

[scorpiongrassfield]

Bonus Chapter - Pat's POV

You don’t know what to do. Usually when you don’t know what to do, taking a break and having something to eat helps. 

You’re not sure that will work this time. 

A vampire. Yeah you’ll run with that theory as far as it’ll stay standing. The alternative… 

“Do you have any questions about the menu?” the girl at the counter prompts. 

You jump a little. You were really spacing out. 

“Uh. Just having a hard time deciding. Got any recommendations?” you say with a smile that might be a little too forced. 

The girl thinks about it. “Our dolmas are pretty good. And our baklava is fantastic,” she says, smiling back. 

“Ooo, baklava. Can’t say no to that. I’ll take an order of each, two bottled waters, and two chicken gyros, please,” you say. 

The girl nods and punches the order in. You pay and thank her, then sit down while you wait for the food to be ready. 

The interior of the restaurant is familiar, somehow. So many things feel familiar for no reason, lately… 

Back to thinking about the problem at hand. 

Though it’s probably uncharitable to think of him as a problem. 

It’s starting to sink in that feeding him probably doesn’t do any good at all. He can’t taste it, and he doesn’t seem to want it, and he might not even need it. 

But you can’t be sure about that last part. Maybe ‘vampires’ do need to eat from time to time… 

You know you’re kidding yourself. But you just… can’t bear to face the alternative. Not yet. 

You’ve known him for three years… At least you think so. Something about the math on that isn’t adding up. 

You shake your head to get rid of the thought. 

Either way, you’ve already made up your mind. You’re going to help Sylv out no matter what. He’s a nice kid. A little prickly sometimes, sure. But prickles are there to protect people, usually. 

You’re probably one of the first people to ever try protecting him. 

Oh, but then there’s that shadow. 

They’ve got the makings of a protector, from what little you know. But protectors don’t just materialize out of nowhere. You need to know someone that’s become a ghost, and then that ghost needs to move on peacefully and choose to come back. 

Sylv meets lots of ghosts, but tends to end up on their bad sides through tactlessness. You’re not sure anyone you’ve met so far would choose him. 

He’s gotten close with Theo despite his usual track record, but then Theo hasn’t moved on yet, has he? 

What a conundrum. 

“Um. Excuse me? Your food’s ready,” the girl calls out. 

“Thanks,” you say as you stand up and return to the counter to retrieve your food. 

You try to get yourself back to something resembling cheerful on the walk back. 

If the kid doesn’t know what he is yet, you can’t be the one to tell him, not directly. 

You don’t want to watch him bleed to death, if you can avoid it, and you’re sure he doesn’t want to relive that either. 

“I brought baklava!” you chirp out as you unlock the door and enter the motel room. 

It’s cold inside, a sharp contrast to the hot humid summer you just left. 

Sylv is staring at his phone like it wants to kill him, even after he sets it down. 

“Uh. Kid, are you okay?” you ask, setting the bag of food to the side. 

He doesn’t respond. 

This is not good. 

“You’re as pale as a-” you stop yourself from saying it. Not the time. 

You rush over to him. 

He doesn’t seem to register your presence at all. 

Maybe you’ve been wrong this whole time and he’s just a normal but traumatized kid, and he’s acting weird now because he’s getting sick. 

You put a hand to his forehead. 

“You’re cold,” you say like it’s a swear. 

He’s as cold as the grave. 

“Pat,” he says, sounding like his world is ending, “was it raining the day we met?” 

That throws you for a loop. 

“The day we met… I don’t think so, why?” What about the day you met? Is remembering it making him like this? 

That shouldn’t be the case. He survived that day. You made sure of it. 

But. What are you sure of these days, really? 

Nothing. 

Sylv sighs in relief when you answer him, but he doesn’t move otherwise. 

It’s like he’s been paused, frozen in time. 

You aren’t sure what to do for a moment, maybe even a few. 

You can’t leave him like this though.

Time to break the ice, so to speak. 

“Oh-kay,” you say, making a decision. “We’ve had a really long week, so I think what we’re going to do now is eat our gyros and dolmas, and then get ready for an early bedtime and watch one of your shows.” 

You think the right thing to do here is offer comfort. You hope it’s the right thing to do. 

With some instruction, Sylv helps you set out the food and drinks. He eats when you tell him to. 

It’s almost like the way he is when he’s on the other side, except instead of empty and listless like a doll, all that emptiness has been filled with utter dread. 

It’s not pretty. 

Still, you might as well check. 

“Have you gone to the woods again?” you ask.

He shakes his head no. 

“But something happened?”

He nods.

“Am I going to be able to get you to talk about it right now?” 

Another shake of the head. 

“Alright then,” you sigh.  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Right now it’s rest time. Do you wanna watch our show here at the desk, or get cozy in bed?”

In terms of offering comfort, the bed is a better bet. It wouldn’t be the first time the two of you have shared a bed. 

The kid doesn’t remember that. And it took a long time for him to be comfortable enough with you to do something like that. 

But… he doesn’t seem to be in a choice making mood. 

He’s sitting there, shaking and staring ahead like a deer staring down a car. 

“You’re shaking like a leaf. Coziness is probably in order. Let’s get ready for bed, then,” you say. 

He’s welcome to decline if he wants. You’ll be sure to keep some space between you no matter what. 

You start getting ready for bed, and he stays sitting like a marionette with the strings cut. 

He’s still sitting there once you’ve finished up. 

“Come on, kid. Up and at em,” you say, offering him a hand to get up.

He takes it. 

“You think you can manage brushing your teeth?” you ask.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can finally see the light of recognition in his eyes. He’s coming back to you. 

“Get to it, then,”  you say, nudging him towards the bathroom. “Even vampires have to worry about tooth decay… I think,” you joke. You’re going to try to keep things light tonight. 

He rolls his eyes at you as he heads into the bathroom, which is relieving. He’s still got some fight left in him after all. 

He left the door open to brush his teeth, so you hand him in his pajamas so he can get dressed. 

In the meantime you try to figure out what kind of show to watch. 

Sylv’s taste in anime tends toward the dark and scary most of the time, which is probably not what’s in order tonight. 

Maybe the one about the school club? No, you’re not sure you can handle the weird parts of that one. 

You wrack your brain for a bit and finally remember a good one. Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-Kun should be a good one. It’s light-hearted, funny, and has some fun gender stuff going on. That’ll be perfect. 

The kid finally reappears. 

“Normally you’d get to pick the show,” Pat  you say as you get your laptop out of your suitcase. “But you don’t remember which shows you like. So. I’m gonna pick one I know you really liked, if that’s alright?” 

You’re pretty sure you remember him saying this one was his favorite comedy. If not… well, he doesn’t know what his actual favorite would be either. 

“Sure.” 

You nod and boot up the computer. After a minute or so of trying to connect to the wi-fi you resign yourself to putting on your glasses. You ask Sylv to help you remember to take them off before you fall asleep, and he agrees. 

You get yourself into bed and get the laptop situated. Sylv just stands there, though he looks less like a prey animal now. 

“Do you want to watch it at the desk after all? That’s okay you know, changing your mind is fine,” you say. You mean it. You don’t want anyone in your bed that doesn’t want to be there, for any reason. 

“No, it’s fine,” he says. 

You’ll have to take his word for it. 

“Hop in, then. This show is a fun one,” you say, patting the bed to invite him in. 

He finally does, rounding to the other side to get cozy under the covers. 

You balance the laptop on your legs, offset to be closer to Sylv. 

You make sure he can see properly, then start the show. 

At first, the music playing through the speakers is the only thing that can be heard in the room. 

Even after the credits roll, Sylv is silent. 

Usually you can’t get him to shut up when you’re watching shows together. 

He probably doesn’t remember any of the trivia about the show anymore. 

Well, you’ll have to fill in for him, then. 

You mostly end up talking about how relatable Nozaki is to you, as far as gender goes. 

You also were intensely frustrated by your body’s shape and how seemingly ill suited it was to the clothes you wanted to wear when you were that age. 

You just wear whatever you want now, of course. 

It has been a long day. 

As much as you want to keep Sylv company when he still seems so out of sorts, you can’t help but let your consciousness drift. 

You start to dream. 

You remember finding a kid on the side of the road, bleeding out. Was it raining, or sunny that day…? It’s both, now. 

He’s not bleeding anymore. He wants you to remember him… 

“Pat?” Sylv calls out. 

“Hm? I’m awake,” you lie, forcing your eyes back open. 

“You should take your glasses off, before you fall asleep,” he reminds you. 

Oh, yeah. You do need to do that. You don’t want them getting bent. 

“You can keep watching if you want, I don’t mind,” you say as you give him the laptop and lay down. 

He seems fine with that. 

You try to chase the dream back into your mind. There might be an answer there. 

“Hey, Pat?” sylv calls again after a while, “Are you still awake?” 

“Sort of,” you say. 

“Can you… tell me a little more about urban legends?” 

That gets your attention. You open your eyes fully to appraise him. 

“Is this related to why you’ve been so… out of it, tonight?” you ask, connecting some dots.

You can barely see him nod in the dim glare of the laptop. 

“Then we’ll talk about it in the morning. It’s too dark out for something like that,” you say. Not to mention your dream might be connected to it. You haven’t dreamed since you started this case. 

“Oh, alright.” he acquiesces. 

“I’m sleeping for real now, kid. Goodnight,” you say, and close your eyes again. 

“Goodnight,” he echoes. 

If he says anything else, you don’t catch it. 

You don’t catch the dream again, either. Only dark and empty sleep.

[gallavich-headcanon]

I don’t know that Mickey had direct info on El Chapo honestly (I think he’d already been recaptured at that point) but I do think Mickey had info on how the cartel works and who’s who inside it. Mickey’s smart, a lot smarter then the show sometimes gave him credit for imo, but it’s a practical, survival based, kind of street smarts. Over the show we see Mickey being really observant and quick on his feet in terms of adapting to situations. Add in being raised in what was basically the Milkovich crime family and I bet he got a pretty good lay of the land just by keeping his eyes and ears open. We know he can be good with people who aren’t Ian when he wants to be (conned a guard to break out of jail) and he was a gay kid living in Terry Milkovich’s house for most of his life so I could see him making a kind of mental map of the cartel’s structure just from gossip and reading people. Gotta admit, my first watch through of the groomzilla episodes, I was really expecting Mickey to reveal that it was mostly just a play to get Terry locked up for hate crimes by making it impossible to ignore. I do still wonder what a interesting storyline it would have been if Mickey wasn’t at least partly still an informant after they got out and that was why he kept working with Terry and wasn’t worried about getting a job. It would have made more sense to me but oh well. I also wanted them to get married at the baseball field bc it was their spot! 🦖

Hello again 🦖 anon! Your asks are always fun!

Mickey’s smart, a lot smarter then the show sometimes gave him credit for imo, but it’s a practical, survival based, kind of street smarts. -> I couldn't agree more!!! We got a few examples in canon- he's great at running business and problem solving (and math). I think he realized pretty quick how things work there, and as always used the way people underestimate him for his advantage.

This got me thinking about how Mickey got a female guard to fall in love with him and help him and Damon escape prison. Like the amount of planning and manipulation a person needs for that. Especially as a gay person that was never in a relationship with a woman, but somehow managed to woo that guard.

If I remember correctly Mickey mentions the Sinaloa cartel in 10x12 talking about Terry handing them over to child services for a year so Terry could work for them (?) so maybe he got a lot of info as a kid and hoped some of it would turn the cartel on Terry.

I wonder how much Terry knew about what Mickey did. in s9 Terry tells Ian that Mickey is in Mexico. And there's no way Mickey picked this cartel randomly. Did Terry ever find out Mickey was a snitch? Mickey was helping him move guns and shit in s10, so he must have trusted him enough. What do you think?

The groomzilla episodes -to get Terry locked up for hate crimes -> that's such an interesting plot line! I was also a bit suspicious about it at first! I was kind of waiting to see what happens with the whole idea of recording the wedding and tying Terry to a chair to make him watch it... but nothing happened.

I got to say I would have love to get to see Mickey take Terry down by helping the police but I feel like he's too into the southside rules (Don't snitch, unless it's in order to reunite with the love of your life) to be a police informant.

Oh I wish they got married at the dugouts!!! Unfortunately according to Ian it was the winter and 40 degrees and suppose to snow... I wish they did something there, maybe the proposal or I don't know, them sitting there planning the wedding.

[debtsunpaid]

i'm still going apeshit over my new guy while i write their backstory but i'm being a perfectionist about it, so in the meantime here's a few lil things about klavier:

formerly an astrophysicist working for the ESA (and one-time astronaut, but that wasn't always the plan). their colleagues remember him best for their mental math prowess, his ferocity in advocating for their team & their project, the six separate times he almost knocked himself out on the wing of their own spaceplane, and the very, very formal weekly dinners they hosted that no one ever expected to be that formal bc he brought them up like inviting friends over to watch the game on sunday.

re: the dinners: they love to cook for people. love it. very picky about the process and doesn't often like other people helping them (he takes hosting and courtesy towards houseguests very seriously), but doesn't mind people watching or taste-testing. he doesn't do it as much these days, because all the joy was really in the social aspect & he considers themself too dangerous to get close enough to people to invite them over, but they'll still pull out absolutely flawless cutting technique when applicable.

met their fiancée (magdalena) in university bc he was arguing with a professor in the law library where she worked. she came over to tell them to shut the fuck up, and he jumped so badly that she felt guilty later & went back over to apologize, to which he Also apologized & suggested that hitting him with one of the heavier books would have been equally effective. they started talking about each other's work & majors, were going to part ways when the library closed, then awkwardly ended up walking the same way home. to the same apartment complex. for a while after that, whenever klavier went to the library while magdalena was working, she'd catch his eye and pretend to line up a shot with the heaviest book she had on hand, which always made them laugh.

currently a drifting adjunct professor & substitute teacher, as well as an occasional german, spanish, & math tutor. he tends to focus more on teaching/talking about mathematics these days rather than astrophysics, though they've done a few physics lectures here and there; if asked why, they'd say it's because he's still hiding from the german government + MI-6 and it's smarter to avoid being found within his field of expertise. but really it's because the last time they knew what was real & what wasn't was in 1990, the world's ideas about the cosmos have changed drastically since then, and he no longer feels like an expert in anything, or like he even knows the world they're standing on, let alone any worlds elsewhere.

CLIFF NOTES ON THE GOD PROBLEM: klavier was psychically bonded with jallakuntilliokan during his first (and only) spaceflight on the spaceplane hermes because their orbit put them Directly over the geotroniks facility where the magi caecus were firing the fear machine, at the exact moment when john constantine, zed, and marj were completing their ritual to summon its anima (other godly half) and negate its intended damaging influence on the world. but while the beings themselves balanced out, the summoning rituals did not (pagan nation involved 3 people, geotroniks involved 2), and they could not co-exist unevenly in the world, so jallakuntilliokan had to draw on more psychic energy in order to even things out.

luckily for jalla, there was a spaceplane with 3 powerful potential psychics perfectly aligned with the ley lines that it drew its power from, courtesy of string-pulling and secret testing led by the UK magi caecus and klavier's own mother for over a year prior. it was a flimsy backup plan based on the (so they thought) astronomically slim chance the summoning would fail, with the intention that the spaceplane would be intentionally crashed into the facility and some poor suckers would be sacrificed for enough psychic potential + public shock & alarm to rev the fear engine all the way up to its purpose. they just didn't count on jallakuntilliokan sniffing out the supply first.

the other two astronauts were fried, but klavi survived; the burst severely damaged the hermes and it crashed back to earth, veering off course and hitting the baltic sea. all klavier remembers is the burst, seeing his colleagues burn out, the agonizing sensation of something segmenting their brain like an orange, and then being dragged out of the ocean later. he was then secretly held by the german government for three years in the hopes of determining what the fuck had happened & what was now wrong with him, until jallakuntilliokan shoved their consciousness into the Dreaming long enough to take hold of the body and bust out. he's been on the run ever since, all but convinced there's an alien living in his skull, unaware that he's playing host to a god.

[docholligay]

Jackie’s fading leadership: Ep 2

Hello! This is about up to Episode 2 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 2 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the second episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open!

So I had a lot of critical things to say about Jackie’s leadership style in the essays from the first episode, and that is in fact going to continue here. Because much as Misty is made for this particular time, Jackie was made for a very much peacetime sort of rule. She lacks the strength to make tough choices and live with them, which is all these next months are going to be. 

I am not convinced she made the wrong choice with Van. If I were Jackie, I’m not sure I would make a different choice. I mean, dragging Shauna’s Xanaxed ass out of there absolutely was the correct choice, whether or not she decided to help Van herself. 

The problem ISN’T the choice Jackie made. It was an inevitable one, and essentially a no-win situation. The problem is her inability to stand behind it. 

In no way would I expect Van to like me, help me, or piss on me if I was on fire, ever again, but I hope, I think, I could turn to her and say, “Listen, was I supposed to die with you? Let Shauna die with you? I couldn’t get you out. The fire was spreading. I made a choice, and you can hate me forever, but I did the math based on what I had in front of me, and three people dead instead of one seemed obvious” Especially when Van is sniping at me! Like, “Okay, did you go in there and go grab that girl that was on fire? Cause, that’s where I was at in the moment, hero of the Canadian Wild. Can it.” 

But Jackie was never EVER going to say something like that, because she doesn’t have the backbone to stand behind a difficult and necessary choice. That’s why she never would have frozen out Allie, even though it’s not the most stupid idea I’ve ever heard. The ability to make painful, shitty decisions and put your name to them is not something Jackie has. 

“She hates me now” Oh my god, Jackie, come on! What a weak take. People do not have to like you in order to respect you and listen to you. 

This is why, and this is sort of a side note to the post, I think we’re going to see the rise of Taissa as a leadership figure. Tai can be a bit of a jackass, and she’s iron, but also…she’s iron. She has the courage of her fucking convictions, which is about 80% of what I ask.

[baejax-the-great]

I have genuinely spent countless hours with nothing but All That Glitters on the brain since like mid December. As it comes to a close I just wanted to thank you for your writing. I’ve gotten so much happiness from it. (And also sadness but in a good, escapism-y way). I don’t think i’ve ever been so attached to a fic before. So sad to see this story end but grateful to have been blessed with ever encountering it in the first place. ❤️❤️

🎽👟🥇🐕

Thank you for this lovely message, Nonnie. I'm going to use it as an excuse to ramble way too long instead of writing the epilogue.

When I wrote even if it's a lie, I played around with a lot of tragic backstories for Achilles, though mostly non-seriously. I didn't really plan on including it--his relationship with Pat was basically comic relief. I wasn't even going to have it in eiial other than allusions to his fame and his clear fall from whatever fame that was, but a couple people asked, so I decided to have him give the abridged version to Zag.

Someone said they would read it if I ever elaborated on that story, and I remember thinking, lol I'm never writing that. Partly because at the time I assumed that painting Achilles in such a negative light just wouldn't go over well. But I also didn't really have an angle for how I wanted to tell that story, so it didn't interest me.

I don't totally remember how/when I came up with the plot for Gold, but I know @johaerys-writes was the one who really encouraged me to write it and I think @juliafied helped me with it a lot. I believe I posted the first chapter the day before I went out of town on what would be the first of many trips this autumn/winter. It's one of very few fics I wrote on google docs, mostly on my ipad because I don't own a laptop.

I think I was only a chapter or two into Gold when I started writing what is still titled in my docs as "Post-Gold." This fic ended up being such an interesting challenge because I had written what happens before and what happens after, and now I had over 20 years to cover to explain it all.

Here's what I knew at the start.

1. Patroclus got thrown out of his house the minute he got home from Seoul.

2. Achilles sets his own life on fire and Patroclus takes the blame for it, resulting in Achilles moving to Tartarus in shame and not returning until 2022 with Zagreus.

3. Because I'd already written it in eiial, the first time Patroclus sees Achilles in years, the first thing he does is make out with him. (I regretted this one a lot, but hopefully I made it work 🤣)

4. A 39yo got a silver medal in the javelin at the 2020 Olympics. As a result, one of the first lines I wrote was "Take me to Paris, Achilles." That entire scene changed, but I kept the line.

So then it was a game of filling in what actually happened (so much math to figure out the years and their ages lmao), and figuring out how to show the journey of two men growing up, growing apart, and then putting their lives back together. All the years were written out of order, which is why the different sections start the way they do-- originally it was just a system to help me keep track of what year it was and make sure I covered each one.

And with all of that, I thought this fic was going to be shorter than Gold. I figured each year would just be a snapshot--maybe 500-800 words to get a sense of it. Short and sweet.

I'm an idiot, of course. Just the reconciliation that took all of three sentences in eiial required over 15k words for this fic, and it could have been longer.

It was so fun to imagine all these eras of their life. I went from writing about guys who were much younger than me to men who were older than me. The way the world has changed between the year 2000 and the year 2022 is kind of astounding. Someone asked me why the boys couldn't just text each other in Gold and it's because it hadn't really been invented yet. We barely had wifi. They would have had an answering machine at their first apartment they shared with a goofy message recorded together.

To make a long, unnecessary essay short, this fic went from something I had no enthusiasm for and was certain I wouldn't write, to something I'm really proud of. I'm going to miss it.

I was talking recently with someone about this fic from Achilles' perspective-- over the 22 years, which moments would he pick as important in their lives for better or worse, and how many of them would match up with Pat's. I have no intention of writing that story, but it certainly would be a way to sit in this universe a little longer.