#i know ill never get to that point
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Artists are crazy [a long text post]
Like how are people able to make art so quickly? How are they able to crank out full line work and coloring and shading and highlights and add textures and little details and also make it look amazing and it's done so quickly??
How the hell do people make art on a daily basis? How do they have the skill or even the time to do so?
I can't draw to save my life and it takes me at least a week just to make a reference for my characters. Do you know how many times I have to redraw a single line?? And it's for every single line???
And yet I'm surrounded by amazing artists who can whip up entire comic strips, people who can fully design a character in a matter of hours, people who have a fully developed art style and you can tell their art is theirs
And I'm digital! Digital art makes things incredibly easier! How do people make physical art like it's nothing???
How is someone able to make a doodle, a simple sketch of lines, and it's better than anything I ever have, can, or will create?
Why did I get stuck with the wrong media? I love creating but why did I not get the amazing art skills? I understand its through years of practice but it's still difficult
You have to understand how a creature looks and scenery and making sure everything is proportionate and looks good, and then you BREAK THOSE RULES? And it still looks amazing??
And visual media is given so much of an advantage in our society. It's true when someone says a picture paints a thousand words, bc you can still feel intense emotions and joy and heartbreak from a singular image. The image the creator wants is given to you, you don't have to put it together using words.
Who reads massive chunks of text anymore? Who reads books anymore? Why do I bother with a medium that is forgotten and dropped by the wayside? Did anyone even read this far? Or did they just see a wall of text and move on?
Art is quick to process while still holding emotions, you're able to completely understand the vibe through pictures. And it makes you grow much quicker. Everyone follows artists and creators, everyone cannot wait for the next comic update or for a silly doodle someone made on a napkin. Who follows writers? Who even bothers?
Who waits for a bunch of words to be thrown at them? There has to be something I'm doing wrong, as even big fics get art. That's how you know you've made it and your work is worth anything, when other creators come in and make something better than you ever will. That's how all the big fics even get found, through art.
So why do I bother?
#alien rant#rant post#rottmnt#im just feeling down today#i know ill never get to that point#i know youre supposed to create for yourself#i just want to be that story people remember#i just want to be that fic that people reread or recommend to their friends#is it so bad that i want validation?
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hey ! what a nice shirt
#twisted wonderland#twst event#lost in the book with stitch#jack howl#twst oc#twst mc#jack howl x oc#jack howl x mc#yuu/mc#jackyuu#twstvic#yes i know im a year late to this meme.#yes i now everybody was probably expecting i'd draw this with jack at some point#there you have it#adding him to a beach event was such a sick and twisted move ill never get over it#myart
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:) i certainly have no issue dressing in drag :)
^guy who has no issue dressing in drag btw
glenn said that dennis' drag name is victoria von hemen btw
(Source)
#glenn howerton#guy who should get to dress in drag#im just. ill never be over the fact that glenn wrote Two episodes in season 3 that involve dennis doing drag#i know he doesn't really want to write for the show but there's something so special abt how early sunny was an actor's sandbox#esp hearing glenn talk abt how den is like. an outlet for him and a way to play around with shit he would never do for one reason or anothe#my point being that i think its been a while since he was able to utilize dennis again in that way#but 16 was a definite change. especially with dtamhd it feels like dennis is becoming more glenn again. like he was in the early days#theres a pretty good stretch of the show once it got into the double digits that feels like den was. co-opted.#but like i wonder how it feels to explore sexuality and gender via your character#it must be similar to doing that through fandom and OCs but there's a whole other layer to it here#esp when its not Just being presented as comedic as it was in past seasons. like dennis is Actually queer and this is a normal plot point#its not the punchline like den's femininity often is its literally just part of what makes him able to help mac and dee#id argue we've gotten this in the form of. dennis doing dee's makeup and shit. but#anyway. glenn. now that you have two of your former writing assistants in that writers room i hope you get to do drag again 💀#its been 16 years. show us the new and improved victoria.#i honestly can't imagine pitching something like that to a room of people Without some sort of comedic twist but#man.#ada speaks#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#rcg#i won't ever forget the way he lit up talking abt queer dennis jhksvfjhksvdfgjhkds#love u king...... i hope you get something in s17 that you Certainly Don't Mind
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some rather strong first impressions were made.
required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !
#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice!#important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time.#and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it#he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them.#“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley#it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while#she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!!#it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device.#also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂#anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow.#never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!!#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#bandana waddle dee
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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"To execute the race more-or-less troublefree is already a success."
#aaaaahhh on one hand yay points!!! but on the other i never thought id be so desperate for p8#ill take whatever i can get atp tbh#sry these are a bit late i slept for like 4 hrs after the race#tho thought i might as well gif as always bcs god....he looks so good lately#i mean he always looks good but theres just smth abt him lately you know???#the fact you can see so many greys in his hair and beard.......#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#we do a little bit of f1#2024 british gp
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so i talked a bit about reinjulisuba on this blog in the past like in this one ask but now ive made a quick and easy diagram summarizing their whole deal <3
#rezero#re:zero#natsuki subaru#reinhard van astrea#julius juukulius#arc 5 spoilers#THE REZERO BOY DRAMA IS INSANE 😭😭 they are so mentally ill knwdjdnd#reinjuli having not one not two but THREE brain chemistry life altering first meetings is fucking insane#julius is always cursed to have the worst first meetings of his life with random twinks#and julisuba being so stuck in astrea drama is so horribly funny 😭 theyre honorary family members at this point#THEN THERES REINSUBA BEING FREUDIAN…..#im never not losing my mind over them#i need to make a diagram with otto included in it also bc it gets EVEN WORSE…#rezero boy drama is crazy as always. theyre all deranged in different directions. i hate these men#reinhard knowing that reid is Like That and never telling/getting the chance to tell julius is the cherry on top 😭😭#i need a 100k slow burn reinjulisuba fic STAT. im begging on my knees#also julisuba being into each other but also reinhard (platonic or romantic) but also admitting OUT LOUD that reinhards a monster. im crying
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UHHHHHH. the vampire lestat cover of silver springs when?.,,
#ARGGHHRGGHHHGGGHGHHHHH I NEED IT !!!!!#TIME CAST A SPELL ON YOU BUT YOU WONT FORGET ME !!!!!!!!!!!#I KNOW I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU BUT YOU WOULD NOT LET ME !!!!!!!!!#ILL FOLLOW YOU DOWN TILL THE SOUND OF MY VOICE WILL HAUNT YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOULL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF THE WOMAN THAT LOVES YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#iwtv#loustat#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire lestat#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv
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it's so damn sad that i have 500+ of you and no one gives a shit that i am curled up on the floor crying holding my old stuffed cat because it's the only thing that hasn't left me and trying not to have a full on break down and jump out a window, but you will just at the chances to correct my shitty behaviors the moment i even momentarily fuck up. suck my dick/not a threat. jesus christ
i am tired. take what i say tonight with a grain of salt. i can't type due to the fact every ounce of liquid in my body is pouring out through my eyes while i try to convince myself life is worth living.
#kairying in here#im so tired#im so exhausted#i feel like im gonna pass out but my body keeps shaking#i feel like everything i do gets criticized and im so sick of it#let me be a person. let me say shit and regret it on my own god damn terms#do not point it out yes i know what i said what fucked up but i do not care#i am angry. i am tired. i am hurt. and if i hurt you well then maybe you deserve it#because you probably hurt me#you people hurt me so damn much#not all of you#but the ones who know who they are know who they are#of course they're all pussys and have me blocked#dumb fucks#deciding to ghost me and leave me for dead after multiple exhausted work nights telling them how much they matter#bullshit. absolute bullshit. you can't care about anyone without them giving you the finger and leaving you#why do i always need to be left behind?#why am i so undesirable that everyone fucking leaves me?#fuck you. fuck all of this shit#fuck this fuck you tumblr#i give up#im done#i quit. i give up. you win. i am a bad person#i am egotistical and rude and i do not take accountability for my actions#are for you fucking happy?#are you glad that ill be dead by tomorrow? that you'll never need to see my fucking face again?#you win. congrats. you get the honor of seeing me bitch for no one to hear#im sick of this. of all of it#my friends are gone. im “too negative”. fuck that#fuck that and fuck you. go eat shit
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BIRTHDAY HAUL courtesy of a very lovely friend of mine 🥺
bonus goofy pics of a bday snack i had earlier with my favorite menace …..
#snap shots#ew hand reveal#I CAN FINALLY BE THOSE PEOPPE WHO TAKE PICS OF THEIR PLUSHIES EVERYWHERE#my lovely friend (same one who got me the comics) told me about the taiyaki at the place i went to !!!#it was SO goof the crisp outer shell coupled with the chewy matcha layer and the cream cheese cream center bringing it all togethr.. perfect#ANYWAY COMICS I GOT !!!! i love this first class series so of course i got more …#this set does. have issues i already down but more issues i Dont#and i said i wanted to read more scarlet witch stories this year no …. hi dötter …..#i actually wanted to see if i could find the 2016 story since i heard that was exceplent but alas#AND OF COURSE I HAD TO GET MY BOY BOBBY !!!!!!!!!!! i love him thats my son#maybe next time.. i felt so bad for my dad he had to stand around so long while i browsed for like an hour 😭#time flies in comic shops i swear its limbo… MOVING ON#lest i forget illyana ….. ill admit i know very little of course however when i saw people talking of this new series#ofc i got the metallic magik cover I LOVE METAL !!! shiny..#i figured now would be the best time to read up … the art here is FANTASTIC#the vibes are immaculate too i love the horror overlay of it… i cant wait to see more of this series#and yk. read This one thoroughly i only skimmed it djAOSJWKS AND LASTLY excalibur.#flipped through it and saw charles was the protagonist AND he was in his chair.. a must buy i fear …#i tried looking for older comics but i never have luck with that but im excited bout these !!#maybe ill get the rest of the excalibur issues- or at least read the rest online. i feel like theres important stuff in there#related to charles at least.. hey does anyone know what issues hve Danger and that whole arc with charles? i wanted that but i forgot…#cashier was like ‘excellent choices’ girl ik….. i have perfect taste… idc if you just sayin that to be nice ik the truth…#ANYWAY !! im sure im running out of tags at this point so for now FAREWELL TEAM#today was a lovely birthday and i thank the lovelies of my inbox (and just following!) for all the love today !!#ok im stretching the tag limit now BYE BYE !! ill read these later for now im sleepy …#thank you so much again to my friend for these lovelt gifts i send her lots of love and care !!! ALL YOU DO THE SAME NEOW 🫵 if you may….
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LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!!!!!
(@forgettable-au go read it, its so good)
DAWWWWWWGGGG THIS WAS JUST AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO READ
not at all soul crushing…Just pure “EHEHEHEHEHE” the whole time cause SANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! him and Floweys’ interactions are always such a treat when they’re both written canonically, like Sans KNOWS Flowey is a little weirdo, but hes got faith in him! hes got faith in everyone! especially Papyrus AND WE WILL GET BACK TO THAT.
Taking in the first frame…The only thing I could focus on was I LOVE THEIR SILLY LITTLE HOUSE!!!!!
I love when people make their surface house just their Snowdin house BUT THIS IS JUST DOWN-RIGHT ADORABLE. Very very fitting, the Christmas lights in the middle of summer HDHEHEHEHEH they would
also: Flowey just hates to see a man chill
This frame in particular, but also just him being in a lawn chair in general feels like a reference to the Reward Tier video and Im here for it
That is the face of a man whos thinking “UHHHHHHHH”
also, alternate ending: Sans is honest:
Now… Im gettin nervous on what Floweys plan is gonna be in getting Papyrus to go to Hotland, let alone- THE LAB 😭
Like no way is he gonna just waltz in there without a fight
like is Flowey just gonna gaslight him like “The GREAT Papyrus isn’t afraid of a little lava now, is he??”
Then…. the last panel.
YOU GET IT OMG YOU GET IT
Sans cares, yes, BUT HES NOT A HELICOPTER MOM he trusts himmm :(( Id say more on that but thats getting side tracked into more Undertale in general territory….ill probably make a rant about that later-
I love it sm I love them, them is great, they are awesome, theys is perfect. theyre have no flaws.
GAAAAHHHH again this whole thing was just a treat to read, unlike the last update I have less THEORIES and ANALYSIS and more just “:3”
BUT IM STILL MAD ABOUT THAT GODAMN COLLARED SHIRT HES WEARING. THAT IS WINGDINGS’ SHIRT. THAT IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. I AM NOT GOING CRAZY AND LOOKING WAY TOO DEEP INTO THINGS!!!!!
Sans just stole his swag
…I just had a thought as I was writing the tags………. and now im crying just a little bit….
AGAIN. I MIGHT. JUST BE LOOKING. WAYYYY TOO DEEP INTO THINGS. BUT…..IDK….
IDC IF ITS NOT REAL. THESE TEARS ARE
this frame feels deliberate.
The sun. IS A STAR.
NEED. I. SAY. MORE.
#Flowey cant handle the skelebros swag#forgettable au live reaction#forgettable au#the only brothers ever#the first and only brothers#i read a fanfic about how similar chara and asriel are to papyrus and sans and that has since never left my mind#THE PARALLELS#ITS TOO MUCH#im gonna call the police#yknow youve made it when you get a hand me down from your sibling thats the same age as you#as always these panels are just utter eye candy#SO PRETTY#im taking notes on your background rendering omg#.#this is the point when I realized the whole sun and star thing#and im not over it#ill never be over it#this isnt over#when i catch you sunsestart when i catch you#im totally normal about this#im totally not gonna steal it for future forgettable/undertale amvs#cause i mean- it works for both#Papyrus is a star ong fr fr 0 cap#outside of this aus context hes also totally raised by sans and a ‘sun’ aka ‘son’#IT WORKS ON SO MANY LEVELS#also why does Papyrus not know what the sun is#but then say that the sun will be on his skin when you interact with his bed#you dont make any godamn sense#and I love you
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So… do you ship Gavin with anyone *cough* Nines *cough* or do you prefer platonic content of Gavin?
I'm gonna be so real with you. My entire exposure before playing DBH was Reed900 fics and the Decharts streaming on twitch (where i heard "28 stab wounds!").
So I'd read lots of fics and that's why I love Chris so much honestly. He's such a good guy! I love straight wingman Chris to his volatile friend who has a crush on an android but was in denial. But yeah my main experience was people putting a guy with minimal (angry) screen time and a guy with no spoken lines in romantic settings.
I love platonic relations though... so that's been the more prominent feature in my art as I adjust and learn how to draw the cast!
I also have a lot of ideas for Gavin and other DPD crew/Nines interacting. I just haven't had energy sadly! They're written down for later!
And fun fact: I've been told it's basically my brand to have mutual pining as a defining relationship trait. Guess what I like about Reed900. It's the fact a lot of fics are catering to me and mutual pining. They've catered to me since before I played the game.
#moe talks a lot#not art#detroit become human#my curse of being a freak for side characters is so strong#like nothing against the protags but...#gestures to simon my beloved followed by chris gavin nines#and its a curse im used to by this point#i just want to draw side characters can that be my thing#like honestly do you know how funny it is that i thought chris was just present and well liked#bc hes always in gavin related fics! hes there hes a good bean!#and then if you look at specifically Chris Miller fics most of them are#actually just him vibing in Reed900 fics#like if that's his fate i love him for it#when i get energy you guys.... when i have energy...#unfortunately time for bed now but i get three days off soon!#i dont like reading fics for stuff ive played or games ive watched#but ill gladly read for games I've never played!#then i finally played it and here i am... drawing my silly lil side loves#if this is incoherent im on sleep aids and theyre def kicking in
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Good lord how does my nature au animatic art already look old
#Ive gotten more comfortble drawing the characters tho tbh I tihnk its only noticable to me really#before fop i never used to draw thick eyebrows and now im looking at dev in the animatic like.... who did this to you#what are these pathetic little eyebrows why was I so cowardly#gonna try to get this done in time for the netflix release I think#maybe Ill post it here early if I can clean up some of the rougher portions first#I am kinda glad i paused on it cause I have a much clearer idea of what I want for it now#unfortunately i still havent fully gotten to the plot points i wanted to#but I also dont have time to squeeze in another set of comics if I wanna get it done in time for premiere day#sighh guess the animatic will just be a little spoilery#not like I know what im doing with this au anyway#shh you didnt hear that I know what im doing at all times. shut up dont even worry about it.
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just to make this clear, im not doing much better, but the messages i did get helped a little bit and i plan to answer them too, i just cant do it all at once q-q
#ganondoodles talks#personal#the little bit of it helping got me to talk again at least#though im not sure how much ill talk about oc stuff since its extremely dear to me and generally less intersting to people#which is both a good and a bad thing#bc it doesnt encourage me to do soemthign more active with it#but also i am horribly afraid of the possibility of it blowing up at some point and getting the fandom treatment#like .... i want people to like my original work#but also ........all these characters are like a piece of me and the story has been evolving from toys i played with as a kid#its the old contradiciton again#i want people to know and like them but also dont want it to turn into fandom tm with shipping fights or whatever#its highly unlikely to happen but you know .. anxiety never stops at logic lol
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Ed gets amnesia (Izzy-centric, pre s1 banishment, past edizzy to some degree)
It starts something like this: a rope left out after a raid, a captain showing off to the crew, a workload stretched too thin to have noticed the accident waiting to happen...
When Ed wakes, it's almost immediately clear something is wrong. He's lost a few years of memories- not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's enough that the man who lays in front of them is almost unrecognisable to the man they knew. He's from just at the point where he was starting to get frustrated with the 'ease' of being Blackbeard, tiring of his old life, but still so full of life and love in ways the present Ed forgot how to be.
He's a lot more on guard, for a start, waking up surrounded by strangers, even if they are treating him very nicely. He doesn't trust them, he doesn't even fake trusting them, just shuts them out completely.
Stede and Roach figure out what's going on pretty quickly and try to explain it to Ed after that, about what's happened and all the things he missed, but he doesn't believe them for a second- how could he? If he got hurt, Izzy would be there waiting for him to wake up. He always has been, always is, his predictable and reliable Izzy. He says as much to Roach and Stede, the only thing he will say, and they just... side-eye each other. They can't believe it- Izzy?
Anyway, Ed completely shuts down after that, so someone runs to get Izzy. Izzy, who had decided, after everything- especially the past few weeks on the revenge- that there's no way Ed would want him there. He's still lurking on deck because he can't stand not knowing how Ed is, but he knows that's not his place any more. So to say he's surprised when Stede comes and begrudgingly grabs him is an understatement- Stede doesn't tell him anything, obviously, just that Ed’s asking for him.
The way Ed’s face lights up as he walks into the room is a punch to the gut. There's a cheerful greeting, the kind he hasn't received in years, and Ed’s yapping on about what he's been told and what happened and "this ship, Iz!" and he's just... floored. He can't say anything in response, not even to confirm their story because this is Ed, this is his Ed, who's face is turning worried, joking about how it looks like Izzy’s the one with a head injury, and Izzy can't cope. He just... storms out of the room.
Izzy’s up on deck, and he's not even yelling, or working, or really doing anything, just aimlessly coiling ropes in a daze when Ed appears on deck after him. He's thrown his leather jacket over whatever of Stede’s clothes he was wearing, a return to his Blackbeard armour to be seen by crew, and he jogs up to Izzy and starts getting handsy with him, physically turning him to looking him in the eyes and check he's ok, just generally being casual in a way that nobodies ever seen them- a way that nobody expected Izzy to tolerate (but of course he does, its Ed).
Izzy'll stutter out a response and Ed will wrap his arm over his shoulder, casually, like that's a thing they do. He'll ask for a tour, for him to explain everything, like what's the deal with this Stede guy. He's still enamoured with The Revenge and all its bells and whistles, only now he wants it with Izzy. It's all 'Iz' and 'mate' and affectionate and a side of their relationship even the Queen Anne crew haven't seen in years, a complete shock to absolutely everyone except this Ed.
Ed shows Izzy the model of The Revenge again and Izzy is both heartbroken and so indulgent because that's the Ed he had once, and he's going to take every second while he can. Ed can show him every single trinket on the entire ship if he wants. Izzy's always been willing to indulge Ed to some degree (it's Izzy, after all) but there's usually external factors, like they're in the middle of a raid, storming a hostile ship, or being chased down by the Spanish without any plan and over the years Izzy’s taken to just trying to redirect Ed quickly rather than letting him get distracted with the next shiny thing. It's been a sticking point between them, Ed's distractions and Izzy's rigidity and inability to have fun even when the occasions fitting.
But, for all Izzy's gripes with The Revenge, he does know it's safe for them- or at least that he could take on any member of this useless crew who tried to take advantage of his captain's momentary incapacity. So he does, for once, feels safe to indulge Ed. And God, he wants to. He has wanted to. He wants to watch him forever, like he did when they were little more than kids. He wants to forget all the mistakes he made just to see Ed smile and light up at him one more fucking time. He's not going to throw away this opportunity, no matter how badly it hurts him in the end.
Ed's memories don't come back in a day or so, so the crew keeps getting these shows of their relationship in a way they've never seen before- all these casual touches, and the way he'll turn to Izzy before anyone else, even Izzy laughing a couple of times. The crew gets to see a completely different Izzy- one more like the man he'd have been on The Queen Anne, a man they can see means something to Ed. He's not just his rotten first mate, a necessary evil of Blackbeard, at some point it becomes very clear that Ed did like Izzy, that he chose to have him around. It's like being back when Ed and Izzy were on the same page, at the height of Blackbeard, their partnership, when things were GOOD.
And of course, Izzy’s going along with all this. He's not telling him anything about the way they're different now, about how they finished breaking their matelotage 6 months back, about how they've been living at arms length for years, about how this simply isn't who they are to each other any more. He couldn't possibly do that, not when he gets to live the best days of his life all over again, just for a few short days. Maybe he'll get a week or two, if he's really lucky.
It's hurting him, obviously, it feels like his heart is being ripped out every time Ed touches him, every time he corners him in the depths of the ship (still so untrusting of this unknown crew- not helped by how they treat Izzy. He sees the side eyes and cruel comments and notices in a way the present version of him never did, too wrapped up in Stede and the madness of this ship) but hey. Izzy’s a masochist. He'll take anything Ed gives him, and he'll especially take this opportunity to have one last taste of what he's lost.
At the time it faded so slowly he didn't realise he was losing it until it was all gone, but he won't make that mistake this time. He knows their time together is limited, and he's going to take every fucking second he can and hold it close forever. If Ed makes him leave after he remembers? After he realises the way Izzy took advantage of him? It's worth it, to have this again, one last time.
#this is probably somewhere between too fleshed out and not fleshed out enough. yet somehow still not the right amount of substance#but i didnt want to waste another month making the additional thoughts ive had on this idea flow w the rest so this is what you get#perhaps ill come back and add my (mostly eds perspective on all of this) thoughts in at some point. who knows#if you want a vibe as to where that goes ; huge inspirations in this concept draw upon the lyrics#'But I hate when I feel like this / And I never hated you' :'''''')#(lyrics from poke by frightened rabbit which is your edizzy song recc of the week)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#edward teach#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#post dedicated to my dearest sage for bouncing this concept with me !!! i love u SO much
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I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.
#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol#anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn#plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH#idc* oops#not retyping all that#and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter#let me be kinky in peace#hanzo#hanzo art#hanzo shimada#hanzo fanart#overwatch fanart#watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared#to post out my uaual tags#anyways#artists on tumblr#trans artist#overwatch#my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow#when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more#but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls#im just. pretty face to look at#and thats all ill ever be or amount to#bi polar ramblings ig ig ig
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