#i know ill never get to that point
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Artists are crazy [a long text post]
Like how are people able to make art so quickly? How are they able to crank out full line work and coloring and shading and highlights and add textures and little details and also make it look amazing and it's done so quickly??
How the hell do people make art on a daily basis? How do they have the skill or even the time to do so?
I can't draw to save my life and it takes me at least a week just to make a reference for my characters. Do you know how many times I have to redraw a single line?? And it's for every single line???
And yet I'm surrounded by amazing artists who can whip up entire comic strips, people who can fully design a character in a matter of hours, people who have a fully developed art style and you can tell their art is theirs
And I'm digital! Digital art makes things incredibly easier! How do people make physical art like it's nothing???
How is someone able to make a doodle, a simple sketch of lines, and it's better than anything I ever have, can, or will create?
Why did I get stuck with the wrong media? I love creating but why did I not get the amazing art skills? I understand its through years of practice but it's still difficult
You have to understand how a creature looks and scenery and making sure everything is proportionate and looks good, and then you BREAK THOSE RULES? And it still looks amazing??
And visual media is given so much of an advantage in our society. It's true when someone says a picture paints a thousand words, bc you can still feel intense emotions and joy and heartbreak from a singular image. The image the creator wants is given to you, you don't have to put it together using words.
Who reads massive chunks of text anymore? Who reads books anymore? Why do I bother with a medium that is forgotten and dropped by the wayside? Did anyone even read this far? Or did they just see a wall of text and move on?
Art is quick to process while still holding emotions, you're able to completely understand the vibe through pictures. And it makes you grow much quicker. Everyone follows artists and creators, everyone cannot wait for the next comic update or for a silly doodle someone made on a napkin. Who follows writers? Who even bothers?
Who waits for a bunch of words to be thrown at them? There has to be something I'm doing wrong, as even big fics get art. That's how you know you've made it and your work is worth anything, when other creators come in and make something better than you ever will. That's how all the big fics even get found, through art.
So why do I bother?
#alien rant#rant post#rottmnt#im just feeling down today#i know ill never get to that point#i know youre supposed to create for yourself#i just want to be that story people remember#i just want to be that fic that people reread or recommend to their friends#is it so bad that i want validation?
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hey ! what a nice shirt
#twisted wonderland#twst event#lost in the book with stitch#jack howl#twst oc#twst mc#jack howl x oc#jack howl x mc#yuu/mc#twstvic#yes i know im a year late to this meme.#yes i now everybody was probably expecting i'd draw this with jack at some point#there you have it#adding him to a beach event was such a sick and twisted move ill never get over it#myart
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I imagine barnaby trying to be all cool and flirting with howyd subtly but his smoke gives him away fjsns
he thinks he's smooth smh...
#cracking up thinking about this ngl#like howdy continues on with work#and whoever's at the table with barn - lets say uhhhh idk julie#is like 'awww your smoke turns pink when you talk to him'#and barn just freezes a la 'excusemeitfuckingWHAT'#aaaand Slam that panic button#bbg didnt know....#rambles from the bog#wh fantasy au#anyway i think ill never draw a better howdy#i squandered my Him points on an au scribble- AN AU SCRIBBLE#ive peaked ill never get any better!#< lie. there's always room for improvement and reaching new heights#on the flip side i had such a rough time with barn#its always an exchange - i can either draw a good howdy or a good barn Never both smh#still though idk How this came out as good as it has i have not drawn in days#nary a line nor doodle to be found...#but covid is wearing off and babey i am BACK!#slowly. it beat me up pretty good ngl#it took me tf out im gonna be extra tired for a while...#but since my congestion has cleared up and im not Hacking and Sniffling anymore#stream soon probably! Normal Stream To Get Back In The Swing Of Things#it feels like ive been sick for a thousand years but i think its been like#three days??? i really dont know...#i hope everyone is doing well and Not getting covid. wear your mask#i wore mine but my stepdad didnt and Look What Fuckin Happened
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some rather strong first impressions were made.
required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !
#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice!#important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time.#and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it#he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them.#“what is this signature like” it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley#it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while#she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!!#it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device.#also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name 😂#anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow.#never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!!#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#bandana waddle dee
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"To execute the race more-or-less troublefree is already a success."
#aaaaahhh on one hand yay points!!! but on the other i never thought id be so desperate for p8#ill take whatever i can get atp tbh#sry these are a bit late i slept for like 4 hrs after the race#tho thought i might as well gif as always bcs god....he looks so good lately#i mean he always looks good but theres just smth abt him lately you know???#the fact you can see so many greys in his hair and beard.......#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#we do a little bit of f1#2024 british gp
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so i talked a bit about reinjulisuba on this blog in the past like in this one ask but now ive made a quick and easy diagram summarizing their whole deal <3
#rezero#re:zero#natsuki subaru#reinhard van astrea#julius juukulius#arc 5 spoilers#THE REZERO BOY DRAMA IS INSANE 😭😭 they are so mentally ill knwdjdnd#reinjuli having not one not two but THREE brain chemistry life altering first meetings is fucking insane#julius is always cursed to have the worst first meetings of his life with random twinks#and julisuba being so stuck in astrea drama is so horribly funny 😭 theyre honorary family members at this point#THEN THERES REINSUBA BEING FREUDIAN…..#im never not losing my mind over them#i need to make a diagram with otto included in it also bc it gets EVEN WORSE…#rezero boy drama is crazy as always. theyre all deranged in different directions. i hate these men#reinhard knowing that reid is Like That and never telling/getting the chance to tell julius is the cherry on top 😭😭#i need a 100k slow burn reinjulisuba fic STAT. im begging on my knees#also julisuba being into each other but also reinhard (platonic or romantic) but also admitting OUT LOUD that reinhards a monster. im crying
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UHHHHHH. the vampire lestat cover of silver springs when?.,,
#ARGGHHRGGHHHGGGHGHHHHH I NEED IT !!!!!#TIME CAST A SPELL ON YOU BUT YOU WONT FORGET ME !!!!!!!!!!!#I KNOW I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU BUT YOU WOULD NOT LET ME !!!!!!!!!#ILL FOLLOW YOU DOWN TILL THE SOUND OF MY VOICE WILL HAUNT YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOULL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF THE WOMAN THAT LOVES YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#iwtv#loustat#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire lestat#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv
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Ed gets amnesia (Izzy-centric, pre s1 banishment, past edizzy to some degree)
It starts something like this: a rope left out after a raid, a captain showing off to the crew, a workload stretched too thin to have noticed the accident waiting to happen...
When Ed wakes, it's almost immediately clear something is wrong. He's lost a few years of memories- not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's enough that the man who lays in front of them is almost unrecognisable to the man they knew. He's from just at the point where he was starting to get frustrated with the 'ease' of being Blackbeard, tiring of his old life, but still so full of life and love in ways the present Ed forgot how to be.
He's a lot more on guard, for a start, waking up surrounded by strangers, even if they are treating him very nicely. He doesn't trust them, he doesn't even fake trusting them, just shuts them out completely.
Stede and Roach figure out what's going on pretty quickly and try to explain it to Ed after that, about what's happened and all the things he missed, but he doesn't believe them for a second- how could he? If he got hurt, Izzy would be there waiting for him to wake up. He always has been, always is, his predictable and reliable Izzy. He says as much to Roach and Stede, the only thing he will say, and they just... side-eye each other. They can't believe it- Izzy?
Anyway, Ed completely shuts down after that, so someone runs to get Izzy. Izzy, who had decided, after everything- especially the past few weeks on the revenge- that there's no way Ed would want him there. He's still lurking on deck because he can't stand not knowing how Ed is, but he knows that's not his place any more. So to say he's surprised when Stede comes and begrudgingly grabs him is an understatement- Stede doesn't tell him anything, obviously, just that Ed’s asking for him.
The way Ed’s face lights up as he walks into the room is a punch to the gut. There's a cheerful greeting, the kind he hasn't received in years, and Ed’s yapping on about what he's been told and what happened and "this ship, Iz!" and he's just... floored. He can't say anything in response, not even to confirm their story because this is Ed, this is his Ed, who's face is turning worried, joking about how it looks like Izzy’s the one with a head injury, and Izzy can't cope. He just... storms out of the room.
Izzy’s up on deck, and he's not even yelling, or working, or really doing anything, just aimlessly coiling ropes in a daze when Ed appears on deck after him. He's thrown his leather jacket over whatever of Stede’s clothes he was wearing, a return to his Blackbeard armour to be seen by crew, and he jogs up to Izzy and starts getting handsy with him, physically turning him to looking him in the eyes and check he's ok, just generally being casual in a way that nobodies ever seen them- a way that nobody expected Izzy to tolerate (but of course he does, its Ed).
Izzy'll stutter out a response and Ed will wrap his arm over his shoulder, casually, like that's a thing they do. He'll ask for a tour, for him to explain everything, like what's the deal with this Stede guy. He's still enamoured with The Revenge and all its bells and whistles, only now he wants it with Izzy. It's all 'Iz' and 'mate' and affectionate and a side of their relationship even the Queen Anne crew haven't seen in years, a complete shock to absolutely everyone except this Ed.
Ed shows Izzy the model of The Revenge again and Izzy is both heartbroken and so indulgent because that's the Ed he had once, and he's going to take every second while he can. Ed can show him every single trinket on the entire ship if he wants. Izzy's always been willing to indulge Ed to some degree (it's Izzy, after all) but there's usually external factors, like they're in the middle of a raid, storming a hostile ship, or being chased down by the Spanish without any plan and over the years Izzy’s taken to just trying to redirect Ed quickly rather than letting him get distracted with the next shiny thing. It's been a sticking point between them, Ed's distractions and Izzy's rigidity and inability to have fun even when the occasions fitting.
But, for all Izzy's gripes with The Revenge, he does know it's safe for them- or at least that he could take on any member of this useless crew who tried to take advantage of his captain's momentary incapacity. So he does, for once, feels safe to indulge Ed. And God, he wants to. He has wanted to. He wants to watch him forever, like he did when they were little more than kids. He wants to forget all the mistakes he made just to see Ed smile and light up at him one more fucking time. He's not going to throw away this opportunity, no matter how badly it hurts him in the end.
Ed's memories don't come back in a day or so, so the crew keeps getting these shows of their relationship in a way they've never seen before- all these casual touches, and the way he'll turn to Izzy before anyone else, even Izzy laughing a couple of times. The crew gets to see a completely different Izzy- one more like the man he'd have been on The Queen Anne, a man they can see means something to Ed. He's not just his rotten first mate, a necessary evil of Blackbeard, at some point it becomes very clear that Ed did like Izzy, that he chose to have him around. It's like being back when Ed and Izzy were on the same page, at the height of Blackbeard, their partnership, when things were GOOD.
And of course, Izzy’s going along with all this. He's not telling him anything about the way they're different now, about how they finished breaking their matelotage 6 months back, about how they've been living at arms length for years, about how this simply isn't who they are to each other any more. He couldn't possibly do that, not when he gets to live the best days of his life all over again, just for a few short days. Maybe he'll get a week or two, if he's really lucky.
It's hurting him, obviously, it feels like his heart is being ripped out every time Ed touches him, every time he corners him in the depths of the ship (still so untrusting of this unknown crew- not helped by how they treat Izzy. He sees the side eyes and cruel comments and notices in a way the present version of him never did, too wrapped up in Stede and the madness of this ship) but hey. Izzy’s a masochist. He'll take anything Ed gives him, and he'll especially take this opportunity to have one last taste of what he's lost.
At the time it faded so slowly he didn't realise he was losing it until it was all gone, but he won't make that mistake this time. He knows their time together is limited, and he's going to take every fucking second he can and hold it close forever. If Ed makes him leave after he remembers? After he realises the way Izzy took advantage of him? It's worth it, to have this again, one last time.
#this is probably somewhere between too fleshed out and not fleshed out enough. yet somehow still not the right amount of substance#but i didnt want to waste another month making the additional thoughts ive had on this idea flow w the rest so this is what you get#perhaps ill come back and add my (mostly eds perspective on all of this) thoughts in at some point. who knows#if you want a vibe as to where that goes ; huge inspirations in this concept draw upon the lyrics#'But I hate when I feel like this / And I never hated you' :'''''')#(lyrics from poke by frightened rabbit which is your edizzy song recc of the week)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#edward teach#blackbeard#blackhands#edizzy#post dedicated to my dearest sage for bouncing this concept with me !!! i love u SO much
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Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."
#my characters#ya know since i draw daily idk if ill do any challenges this month#i know theres a LOT of them out there but i might hold off and do huevember as a challenge and let this month just be chill#for what its worth he only asks for a female body because his baby brother (like 10 years younger than him)#commented ONE TIME ugh its so weird to have you dote on me like this#why couldnt you have been an older sister or look less suspicious#so when sent to help his brother hes like RIGHT GOT IT GIRL TIME LIKE THE MOST LOGIC COURSE OF ACTION#then does a really good job at helping the hero and then gets abducted by the demon army and#as rey keeps challenging the demons checking on him in the dungeon (who are all very kind?) to just interrogate him already#and they just ask why would they do that? they just wanted her outta the way for a bit#cause they dont actually want to hurt anyone and then the demon lord keeps personally visiting rey and continues#to point out how she gives him a headache and how the core is different than the shell#and so then he offers to revert rey back to his original form and reynold immediately accepts#and so now hes just a guy again surrounded by v nice demons#and hes like please just be mean ive been trained to handle violence you have to stop being nice#im not used to nice ok you have to be mean or else im going to develop stockholm syndrome#and the demons are just ?? we dont .... dont know.... what that is.......... what.....#then he gets engaged to the demon lord and all is well ! he becomes the trophy husband to the demon lord#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)#i have a lot of love for the idiots in this plot#because reynold and sascha are literal husbands thinking oh no my beloved husband is only married out of convenience to meeee#and solei is the goddess who recruited him and is so mad that reynold is more of a gremlin than sascha#like why is this mere mortal somehow worse than THE DEMON LORD how in the world#and reynold runs around just adopting all of the demon army and is like yeah#ill be the trophy husband with a hundred kids and a hot 7ft tall demon husband who can change into a huge dragon#and hes really content in this role!#but for a while he does appear as rey and hates how much of a highlighter he is
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Good lord how does my nature au animatic art already look old
#Ive gotten more comfortble drawing the characters tho tbh I tihnk its only noticable to me really#before fop i never used to draw thick eyebrows and now im looking at dev in the animatic like.... who did this to you#what are these pathetic little eyebrows why was I so cowardly#gonna try to get this done in time for the netflix release I think#maybe Ill post it here early if I can clean up some of the rougher portions first#I am kinda glad i paused on it cause I have a much clearer idea of what I want for it now#unfortunately i still havent fully gotten to the plot points i wanted to#but I also dont have time to squeeze in another set of comics if I wanna get it done in time for premiere day#sighh guess the animatic will just be a little spoilery#not like I know what im doing with this au anyway#shh you didnt hear that I know what im doing at all times. shut up dont even worry about it.
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just to make this clear, im not doing much better, but the messages i did get helped a little bit and i plan to answer them too, i just cant do it all at once q-q
#ganondoodles talks#personal#the little bit of it helping got me to talk again at least#though im not sure how much ill talk about oc stuff since its extremely dear to me and generally less intersting to people#which is both a good and a bad thing#bc it doesnt encourage me to do soemthign more active with it#but also i am horribly afraid of the possibility of it blowing up at some point and getting the fandom treatment#like .... i want people to like my original work#but also ........all these characters are like a piece of me and the story has been evolving from toys i played with as a kid#its the old contradiciton again#i want people to know and like them but also dont want it to turn into fandom tm with shipping fights or whatever#its highly unlikely to happen but you know .. anxiety never stops at logic lol
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I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.
#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol#anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn#plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH#idc* oops#not retyping all that#and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter#let me be kinky in peace#hanzo#hanzo art#hanzo shimada#hanzo fanart#overwatch fanart#watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared#to post out my uaual tags#anyways#artists on tumblr#trans artist#overwatch#my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow#when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more#but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls#im just. pretty face to look at#and thats all ill ever be or amount to#bi polar ramblings ig ig ig
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spontaneously starts scribbling him Differently Every Time
#CONSISTENCY IS DEAD AND I STRANGLED HER#a very long time ago. im just whaling on a corpse at this point#consistency may be dead but she's also my wife. is that anything#anyway HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY#howdy brain Activated Tonight#i dont know how to draw him! it might seem like i do! i dont! hes fuckin Shaped in such a Way!#the last one was actually the first#i will never be able to replicate it. its what i Want#scribble salad#welcome home#howdy pillar#shakes him shakes him SHAKES HIM#his hair is a bitch to get even remotely right...#ill pin it down tho! ill streamline it! eventually!#every time i look at him my brain essentially goes 'he can get fluffier.... the Volume....'
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"Penelope has insecurities!" As an excuse for her harming others because of those said insecurities falls very flat when it puts the character's, who live during a time of few options especially if you were a women, at risk. And even with her insecurities, her lashing out and hurting people should be held in the same regard as how some view Cressida, who didn't get the luxury of a view into her home life until s3, unlike Penelope, and while it still has people calling out this behavior, although rightfully so, it often still includes denying that Penelope needs to take accountability as well.
#some on twitter said how in fandom yt characters will get a pass for hurting other characters just bc of their insecurities#which is very true when you look at how some to this day still talk about marina with a lot of misogynoir rhetoric just to defend pen#like how can you say “support morally grey or complex female characters” but then shit on marina left & right while erasing/woobifying pen'#own complexities? it doesn't make sense#i would find pen much more enjoyable if her complexities were acknowledged and the harm she did was called out & corrected#but i can't even enjoy spaces like that without some of her fans jumping into the frey and painting it as a crime against them#if you reflect that heavily on a character that's fine but don't get mad when other people don't see it the same way as you#especially poc who have to see pen not only call a kate (and simon) “beast” or constantly make petty brutal remarks about queen charlotte#for no reason as well as use abliest remarks to refer to the king george who suffers a debilitating mental illness#there was no reason for her to do all of that besides being deeply insecure that it makes her harm others who don't even know her#calling that out isn't a bad thing 😭#and yeah while i like/enjoy cressida i can call her out for her behavior toward pen & others even tho i understand it#i could even do the same for pen but see my prior points#the “let female characters be complex” crowd are (not always but sometimes) the first to remove these complexities and it's frustrating!#anti penelope featherington#bridgerton#pen stans don't interact bc this clearly says anti#made this post after people on twitter got on my nerves & created sob stories that ain't never happened just to make whitewash pen
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Y'all know your girl loves her AUs, and my partner pointed out that this is just a fursona with extra steps but idc here's the animatronic version of my s/i!! I wanted to draw her in the style of the official Security Breach art cause it's cute, I'll probably draw the real animatronic later lol but meet Missy Mouse! 🧀🐀
Her attraction amounts to essentially a karaoke room where kids are encouraged to play and sing as loud as their little lungs can (soundproofed ofc) and she sings along with them! She's modeled after the 60s and sings a lot of songs from the 70s as well but tends to favor 80s hits like Call Me and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! 💖💖
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#fnaf self insert#fnaf oc#animatronic oc#i mean its basically an oc at this point!!#five nights at freddy's#fnaf security breach#but yeah!! this is based on an au where willy boy manages to kill my s/i 😔😔 so sad#i was discussing it with my buddy and idk its kinda cool to think abt her in the SB era!!#especially since ive seen both theories that glamrock freddy has michaels soul AND aus where he never burnt up and is a guard#i think both have potential for both cuteness AND big angst >:3#like for the purpose of glamfred being michael if the two were always really close and sang a lot of duets together#freddy has a crush on her but doesnt know why cause he doesnt quite remember their relationship in life#and also guard michael only being able to see her in animatronic form 🥺🥺#either way shes usually very kind to kids and is something of a nanny as well#not like sun/moon theyre like for toddlers and shes for slightly older kids#anyway ill defs draw more of her soon!!#i just HAD to get this out there lol#crush: 🔦🧟♂️#forgor his crush tag lol
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Going through Outsiders FFN is such a weird experience because I'll be looking through authors and fics and usually find a lot of people mentioned in eachother's works, giving the impression of an incredibly tight-nit community, yet today I don't think it's nearly as active. This likely sounds melodramatic, but it really does make me a little sad when I think about it, even though I wasn't around for a majority of FFN. If an author's catalogue went on for long enough you'd see people go from college student, to graduate, to mother of two, etc, etc. These glimpses turn out to be so jarring to me because then I remember they last posted years, maybe more than a decade ago. It's a massive time capsule that sort of feels you're walking alongside these people as you go through their writing when in reality you're only walking alongside some sort of apparition of the past.
#my lord dont get me started on the “ill probably post the next chapter some time soon” and it was last updated 2012 or something#at some point i went through the entire ao3 and ffn catalogues but i didnt have accounts to save things so i must do so again#at some point anyway#i could be wrong about the activity thing for all i know but that's the impression i got initially#ao3 never gave the same impression but i reckon its due to the fact it serves as an archive rather than a community/forum site#yapping on this one#slipperlations#the outsiders#the outsiders fanfiction#ffn#plus i read most things at night it was honest to god such a haze
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