#i know i'm rambling and i'm sorry but like

[housederiva]

Is it just me or is there way less fanart being made for this game than the previous ones? Kind of makes me sad, I remember with dai I could check the tags every few hours and find something new weeks after launch, now I only can get away with only looking a few times and week and miss nothing.

I don't think that's Veilguard exclusive.

Things I and my mutuals draw now are getting less notes/reblogs than they did even one year ago, regardless of the fandom. Fanfiction is getting less comments and kudos on ao3 too (not that they were getting many comments in the first place) Less gifs are being made because gif makers weren't getting reblogs. Hell, most of the post I make have a huge discrepancy between likes and reblogs and add polls into that? A thousand people voted on something and only a dozen people reblog it. It's a hollowing feeling when you realise you're calling out to an empty void, I don't blame people for creating less art because of that.

I don't see a vast majority of the people who follow me in my notes because I have likes disabled. Multiple times someone has sent me an ask apologizing for spamming me with likes and I don't understand it? That is not a bad thing And unless you reblogged anything along the way, I didn't even realise you were doing it in the first place. And the people whose notes I do see are not annoying in the slightest, I love the tags you add and I'm sure the original poster does even more so

I'm not trying to shame anyone Into interacting with the fandom spaces they're in but the whole point of Tumblr and what makes it a blogging platform and not social media is that this is a show and tell website. You're supposed to look at something you think is cool and then wave it around for your followers to see and then they pick it up and do the same regardless of how old it is

When you reblog an ask game from someone it used to be common courtesy to send that person one of the asks from it. Folks used to leave comments analysing paragraphs from stories people wrote and theorising about what would happen next on every chapter. We used to send each other asks just asking about our ocs unprompted

If there's no interaction or community when you create something, then what's the point of creating it? It sucks that fandom is morphing into something to be consumed and thrown away the second it's more than a week old unless you're one of a handful of blogs that got lucky and picked up traction at just the right moment

I'm sorry for the rant but I get emotional when I think about the decay of fandom spaces for too long. And this goes without saying, but you guys can reblog anything on my dash if the button isn't disabled on it

[officeobject]

Wait I did NOT expect you to ACTUALLY reply ... anyways, I have a niche personality, so I'm probably the best person :) ... to write "okay" to and never reply to forever! I also don't know what you mean by publicly shamed, due to it being so specific, and I also have no concept of death nor suicide, for better or for worse, but like, I do know, that they're then friends by title, and not ACTUAL friends - and like, I can only offer generic advice or make my own plan, and what I would do, as someone who could never be in that same situation ever due to the alignment of my personality and the obscure irrelevance I often fall under when it's the bottom line for people, is to get more bitches. Actually, maybe I'd even get new bitch and make him fight the other ones and watch or something - like I once had a friend who said he'd fight some shithead from my life and like, yeah, that's platonically attractive wow, and like, yeah, if possible then hit-able - but I shouldn't encourage violence, which allegedly isn't the answer, and I do not condone violence, and like, you're probably a teenager, so like - well first of all, I don't expect you to take what I write too seriously - like I don't expect you to actually see me as a human being all of the time, but also, like, just do whatever the feck other teenagers do to be happy and survive or whatever - I don't know, if I think about it for too long, I will hate myself, and possibly get into my addiction - lots of things in my life are about me I guess, and if they aren't about me or what I like for TOO long - or if not enough attention, brain will get mad.

And like, I'll TELL YOU, that what I really wanna say is how sad that is and that help exists, and like, sure, I do mean that, but like, I can only not-personality myself into someone nice, or make it all about me and my rambles and crappy advice.

Like I do NOT get people who can just give advice, or say they're here for someone, and then this just IS, in their personality - like, I'M just with a concern for humanity and a fear of unintentionally killing someone, and THEY, are just here, FOLLOWING THEIR PERSONALITY, WHILE, being all smoothly nice, or awkwardly helpful?! Like I could NEVER!

So over all: I'm sorry to hear that, have you tried talking to someone about it?

[writingwisterias]

Ruined

Kidnapper!Leon Kennedy X AFAB!Reader Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, SMUT, 18+ONLY, Emotional Manipulation, Degradation kink, Kidnapping, Injuries, Isolation, Manipulation, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Public Sex, Manhandling, Implied Abuse, Initial Carving, Blood Play, Unprotected Sex, Age-Gap Words: 5.9k Dedicated to @friedtofu4 for allowing me to ramble about this for days

Taglist: @rigorwhoring

You were pissing him off. You always did when you acted like that. His fingers twitched at his sides as he watched you beg beneath him. Another escape attempt. That just wouldn't do. Couldn't you see that he was just trying to help, to keep you safe from all the threats he had seen in the world? You were so perfect, always devoted to him. Always following every rule he had in place except for today? Yet now you are here sobbing at his feet in a ruined nightdress, an expensive one he treated you to after such good behaviour. What a waste. Of his time, his money. Your dumb brain clearly didn't understand. 

Your tears were fat and heavy as they ran down your dirty cheeks. He wasn't proud of the way he manhandled you to the ground, sighing at the sight of your face dirtied from the mud as you fought him off. Leon hated seeing the cuts and scrapes that littered your arms, the specks of blood on your lips from where he had bit down on it too hard in a kiss he forced you to participate in. "I'm sorry Leon...please...forgive me" you spoke in choked breaths, your chest rattling with each intake. 

You weren't sorry, you did it on purpose. He knew that. He wasn't stupid. You took him for granted, something you needed to be punished for. After all, he's only helping you, providing a life where you don't have to worry about anything but keeping your legs open when he is around. But you still ran away and tried hiding in that thorn bush. The blood on your skin was your own fault, you needed to understand that. "If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it. I'm trying to keep you safe" Leon said, his tall frame never faltering. His back is just as straight as when he shut the door. "I know...I'm sorry...please...I'll do anything. It was a mistake" you cried. Practically kissing his mud-coated boots. Your hands tugged at the hem of his jeans, holding onto them for dear life. 

Leon lowered himself into a squat, his fingers tilting your chin in the air as he looked at you. Your bottom lip was jutted out, a pathetic look for you. Feigning Innocence. "I thought we grew out of this baby" he cooed. "You were behaving so well" 

His presence was a false comfort, his tender touch was soon to turn sinister when he finally got you into the headspace he wanted. The easy pliable one that would just take whatever he gave you. Leon wasn't sure if he wanted to shove his cock inside your mouth. Maybe even shoving himself so far you couldn't breathe, only himself filling your senses. The thought of you on your knees made his cock twitch in his trousers. He would thrust deep inside of you, making sure you thought of nothing but his relentless thrusts. However, the thought of giving you endless creampies was also appealing. The options were limitless. 

“Leon…I'm sorry” you sobbed again. Your hands are now gripping his knees. “You’re all dirty after that honey” he sighed. You nodded, breaking his eye contact to look at the state of you. You weren't the presentable thing he always liked, the little doll he wanted you to be. “Please forgive me, I didn't mean to run away” 

It hurts him that you were lying. Of course, you meant to, you didn't hide your dislike for him very well. He had noticed the bathroom window suddenly opening wider and wider with each shower you took. He trusted you, trusted that you would change your behavior; to not run into the woods like you did today, but you didn't. He sighed, his knees clicking as he rose above you again. You watched him, never breaking eye contact. Leon held out his hand, your own sliding in it fingers brushing his wrist as you used it to help him stand up. “Let's get you cleaned up” Leon spoke as he dragged you away towards the bathroom. The only room you ever had privacy in, not that you would anymore. The privilege was now to be taken away, the window cracked open as a reminder of your escape. Of how close you actually were. 

Leon had to admit it was smart, he never noticed until one night as he pissed he felt the cold breeze. The window just above the toilet in front of him was open and the cause of the breeze. It wasn't enough for him to jump into action, he waited; baiting you into actually going through with it. It's like you forgot what he used to do for a living, the job that trained him to have the same set of skills that have kidnapped you and kept you hidden for so long. 

Leon turned the shower on – the steam combating against the winter chill. His hands were gentle as they stripped you, the dirty fabric pooling on the floor around your ankles. “Look at how messy you are” he sighed as he led you into the stream. Your knees ache as you bend them to get into the tub, the small scabs breaking allowing the blood to flow again. Leon tutted at the sight of you, at how desperate you were to leave that you didn't even care about your delicate skin. The white tub was soon filled with a brownish red.  You stayed silent, eyes flicking towards the door, window and Leon. He watched your brain tick as your thoughts began to outweigh the risks. Calculate an escape plan or think if it was worth it with him in the room. “Aren't you tired of fighting? Don't I do enough for you?” Leon sighed. 

You watched his features, his eyebrows curved upwards showing concern and sadness. Whether those were genuine feelings you didn't know. The occasional up turns of his mouth, a smirk waiting to be revealed, told you otherwise. You constantly fell for his tricks and that's what made you so mad. So desperate to run away. You hated how he loved you unconditionally no matter how much you kicked and screamed or plotted against him. His love and loyalty never wavered. You never understood why he wanted you to be so special, to feel this unwavering love he had for you. It hurts your brain late at night as you think about it, looking at the thin netting blowing from the tiny gap he allowed in the window. His arm draped over you, fingers grasping at your waist tightly. Sometimes you awoke to bruising. 

You were tired of fighting but it felt like it was just too easy to give in. Accept this as your new life, even if you didn't ask for it or work for it like you were raised to. A retirement fund sitting in your bank account that you no longer have access to. “Aren't you? Tired of fighting?” Leon repeated his question. His hand grasping your chin to bring your attention onto him. You wanted to answer, if you said yes; you would get everything you ever wanted without having to worry about the outside world. Maybe he would even let you wander the woods if you built enough trust. You could see the stream from the living room, maybe you would be able to touch it freely. Yet, if you said no, you would be here anyway. Your restrictions are tighter, rules stricter. A structured life inside the wooden walls. The air escaped your chest as you nodded, looking at the open window once before opening your mouth to finally speak the words. “I am tired of fighting” 

Leon’s grin grew. His laughter filled the room only to be silenced as he kissed you. Guilt flooded your system quickly, the shower didn't wash it away as you thought about everyone outside of these woods. All the people that loved you traded for a life of luxury and freedom. A life provided by your kidnapper. “I'm proud of you baby. You made the right choice” he spoke, his hair dampening as leaned into the stream to kiss you again. You enjoyed the taste of Leon, the feel of him as he thrust into you. You knew you wouldn't regret your choice to be with him forever, an unofficial marriage. But your family and friends cannot be a part of your life. You would soon become an unsolved mystery to them, their life filling with grief and mourning you whilst you lived perfectly fine. 

Leon fed you lies, and told you they didn't love you. That if they did they would have found you, but that one last group of brain cells that you clung into told you otherwise. Maybe one day you see them again, and beg for forgiveness for all the harm you caused them by agreeing to him. By living this life. You were sure an apology wouldn't fix anything, burning that bridge to them was a death sentence to that life. The final claim snipped away with the hand that now dragged you out of that shower. The ones that wrapped you in the fluffiest towel and led you into the bedroom. “Oh baby you are going to be so happy” Leon chatted mostly to himself as he led you. His words fill the emptiness of the cabin, echoing through the long dark corridors. “I'm sure I will be,” you spoke quietly. Your voice was strong, not letting your emotions leak out into the words you spoke. Never allow the turmoil inside you to become visible to him. 

Leon patted you dry and combed your hair with utmost care. Then he tended to the scraps, cotton pads with witch hazel, some coated in disinfectant. His hands were not gentle when he touched them, fingers pressing into the bruises watching your reactions as they flashed across your features. “Hurts doesn't it? This is what it felt like when I went to check on you and you weren't there. Only to find your footprints leading away” Leon spoke, looking up at you through your brows. “I didn't…mean to hurt you” you spoke bluntly, you even cringed after the lie left your lips. His head snapped up, eyebrows raised as he looked at you. “You expect me to believe that?” Leon chuckled, his hand pressing down on your knees earning another hiss. “You think I'm a fool, do you?” 

Your wet hat stuck to your face as you shook your head. “You hurt me too,” you said. Your voice was timid as you sank into yourself. “What I do. Is nothing compared to what I've seen other people do” he stated, his words were clipped. “I have only protected you. I will always protect you”

Leon lowered his head again, tending to your wounds once again. You nodded your head, words unable to form in fear he would just dispute them. You could feel his love, his claim over you in every word he spoke and yet you still defiled him, denied him of your own. 

“I want to be able to go outside…to see the stream” you whispered after a little while, breaking the silence. Leon's head shot up again scanning your face for any form of lie, a hidden meaning underlying your words. “Maybe I could – I could earn back your trust?” You spoke again. You cringed at his sigh and flinched at his movements to stand. Leon looked down on you, dominating you. Yet instead of talking to you or offering you an ultimatum to your request he just held out his hand. “Come on...before I change my mind” 

“I'm naked” 

“No one will see…there's no one for miles” 

He had told you this before, the words never settled easily in your stomach each time you heard them. You followed him out the door, goosebumps rising on your skin as it deflected the chill. The mud was cold as your bare feet walked alongside his boots. The footprints that left a trail back to the house symbolise how much bigger he was than you. Leon’s hand tightened around yours the closer to the stream you got, almost like he was afraid you would slip away. Like you would actually risk running through the woods stark naked with the impending promise of night. 

Leon watched you carefully as you approached the running water, as you crouched to touch the ribbons of the current as it went through your fingers. Despite the speed it seemed peaceful, you wonder if it ran into a peaceful lake with fish and other animals. He was leaning against a tree, lingering in your eyeline like a warning. A dangerous predator in the shadows.  You contemplated it, accidentally losing your balance and falling into the cold water. Hypothermia or shock would eventually take before he could. At least it would be by your choice, something you chose to happen. Then again, staying here willingly was also your choice. His promise of protection is too good to refuse in this world. His words will always manipulate you, twist your world to just be this woodland. 

To Leon in this moment you looked like an innocent deer, one so completely unaware of the dangers that lurked around you. Your attention solely on the river running through your fingers was just another reason why you needed him. You didn’t hear his footsteps as he crept behind you; attention never faltering when he accidentally stepped on the twig and snapped it. No, you were a useless deer, just a little fawn unaware of the dangers that surrounded you. This is why he was here, to show and protect you from these dangers. 

You didn’t notice him until he grabbed your wrists. Your body jolted against his as he pressed himself against you; his breath ghosting the shell of his ear. “Leon! I wasn’t doing anything…I haven’t done anything wrong” You gasped as he finally turned you to face him. Your expression is priceless as his eyes gloss over your face. “Oh baby, you didn’t even notice I moved. How did you even manage before me?” He chuckled darkly. It was only when he pressed closer to you that you noticed his belt was already undone, his body pressing you to fall back onto the ground. Your instincts wanted you to fight back, to kick and scream like you did the first time but you were tired and you promised not to fight anymore. 

His hands pressed you into the mud, smirking to himself as your just clean skin was dirty once again. Your fingers sank into the mud as he trapped your hands underneath his own. “Come on. I let you outside. Now open up, I didn’t have to after the stunt you pulled today” Leon groaned as he tried to pry your legs open to be able to sink himself into you. He wanted you to adore him, to worship him as he provides everything for you. To become some mindless hole for him, a little treat. You were already bare for him, for anyone. Perhaps he should leave a reminder and have his load dripping out of you for the rest of the day as the mud dries on your skin. Something for you to be reminded of who you belong to now. You listened to his command, legs spreading to make room for his form. Leon's skin never touched the ground nor was it ever exposed to the cold. His cock nudged the entrance of your pussy, sighing as he finally inches it in. Without any preparation, his stretch hurt, and whimpers began to leave your lips. Your frame squirmed in the dirt. 

He didn't care though, he just wanted you. He could feel the wet ground eating into his trousers. Only imagine how cold you must feel currently, your naked form so close to the freezing river. Your hands are trapped above your head elongating your frame. Your breasts bounced with every thrust he made “Fucking hell, look at you” Leon moaned in your ear. Your pain turned into pleasure, overstimulation creeping in as he continued his assaulting thrusts. Your nipples were sore and sensitive, the air making them harden and peak to extreme lengths. You forced yourself to look at him, watch his grin grow wider or his eyes darken as he gazed upon you. The twigs and mud scraped against your back and the squelches of your movements muted the ones that filtered from where he entered. It shamed you how turned on you were, how attracted you were to this man. Someone you should hate, fight, or do anything but accept his desire to own you. Yet, here you are underneath him begging for more.

“That's it, baby, cum around my cock…warm it up for me please it's cold out here. Didn't you know” 

Of course you knew, it was Leon's attempt at a teasing joke. Your skin was blotchy red, freezing to the touch. Your hands were ice cold, he made sure they never touched anything but his wrists. Your orgasm was impending quicker than you wanted to, his touch was possessive - greedy even. He was always anything but kind taking everything he could from you without giving anything back. The only reason why you reached that high each time was because he felt so good. His veins always dragged along your walls perfectly, hitting that spongy spot inside you that made your toes curl. His cock curved in such a way you could feel every single movement he made. He never touched your clit, only sucked on your breasts if he felt like it. Yet you still simply came from just his cock…and boy did it make Leon feel like a god. 

He felt your walls tighten, sucking him in as they refused to let him go. His balls tightened, groans leaving his lips and echoed throughout the vast woodland. You felt him flood you with warmth as his load exploded inside of you. His final thrusts caused your orgasm to flood through you a cocktail of the two of you spilling out into the mud. Leon didn’t stay inside of you long, his warmth was taken away quickly as he stood back up. Tucking himself back in his trousers to glance down at you. He was never one to shy away from a dominant display. His point was proven as you had lost your sense of surrounding to the stream, any dangers that lurked could have easily gotten you. He was one of them and he did. 

Leon had the courtesy to hold out his hand for you, watching as you shivered as you attempted to stand. “Thank you” You muttered to him, your head bowed as you avoided eye contact. Your hand tightened around his savouring the warmth that he gave off through his palm. Part of you wanted to lean in for a hug, to accept that he was the only one who was going to be able to give you what you needed. He could see your inner fighting, the refusal to accept that he was the only one for you, despite your claims of being tired of fighting. Leon decided for you as he pulled you into his embrace. His body folded around you, shielding you from the world for just a moment. Your shoulders shook as you finally gave in, your once stiff form now melted into his embrace. Your final need to fight is released from your body. This was your life now, this is what you were reduced to. 

You watched from the doorway as he lit up the fireplace. Your arms were wrapped around yourself picking at the dried dirt that was still on your skin. His seed dripping down your thighs. Leon’s eyes flickered over to you as he occasionally gazed upon your form. Part of him felt bad that you were so cold, tempted to wrap you up in the warmest blanket he could find and let you read a book until night fell. But you ran away today, he must not forget that. “Can I shower?” You asked him, your voice was barely above a whisper he almost missed it. He turned to you fully, still in front of the fire. “If I treat you nicely again you aren’t going to try and escape are you?” He asked, his question was blunt straight to the point. Guilt flooded your system as you remembered the trust he had placed in you. One that you broke. 

“Please, I know I broke your trust today…just the mud… it's irritating” You admitted. You watched as he turned to the fire to think; watching the flames lick at the wooden logs turning them into embers. The simmer of a fire was always the hottest part, the embers that lingered underneath the ash. You had yet to see this anger from Leon, the heat that made him so protective over you or the anger that simmered causing him to do hurtful things to you. You had never pushed him that far and you weren’t sure you wanted to. “Since you asked so nicely.” He nodded finally, turning again just in time to see your eyes light up. “But I have to be in the room” 

Despite his add-on to your request, the light never faded from your eyes as he continued to look at them. Perhaps you have had a change of heart. You waited for him to walk to the bathroom first, your smaller frame following his. The steam from earlier still lingered on the bathroom mirror. You looked at your reflection, the condensation dripping down your features as if you were crying. Leon turned the shower on his hand in the stream as he waited for it to heat up. Part of him wanted to leave it cold and come up with some bullshit excuse that you wanted to go outside again after the last shower. But your knees had turned purple, he could see nail tracks where you scratched against the flaking mud on your skin. 

The tub was again filled with brown as you watched it swirl down the drain. You closed your eyes and faced the stream allowing the water to methodically fall over your features. A sense of peace washed over the room, you could feel his eyes on you as his thoughts were loud but it felt right almost. Maybe you were just tricking yourself to make the situation more bearable. Leon however was watching his cum that dripped down your legs get washed away, his claim on you was never permanent. He didn’t want children, no he was too old for that now. Besides that would involve too much medical interference; outsiders would have to get involved if something went wrong. It was too risky, too many people for you to say what happened to you if they pried too hard. 

His mind swirled with ways he could mark you as his, a permanent solution. Something you would look at and never forget your place. It wasn’t until you had left the shower and wrapped yourself in another towel whilst waiting patiently to follow him that he got the idea. He walked you to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bedding as he watched you dry yourself off. It was unnerving you that he hadn’t said anything for a while. The corners of his mouth twitched upright occasionally as he sat there thinking about something. “A penny for your thoughts?” You asked shly. He blinked at your question. It was rare you initiated any form of conversation so it took him by surprise. “I have an idea…to make sure everyone knows you are mine” 

“You said no one will see me? Who are you proving it to?” 

You got him there he supposed, it was a valid reason not to do what he was planning. Yet, it wasn’t enough to stop him; he could already feel his cock stirring awake. He looked at you again before a large sigh left his lips. “I want to mark you as mine, permanently” 

His words confused you as you were unable to follow along with him. Silence filled the room again as you both waited for someone to speak first. He almost seemed like he was giving you space to object, offer an opinion to the situation or even a suggestion to his wishes. You however knew better than that by now, he didn’t care what you wanted, he was going to do it anyway. He just likes to make you feel in control. You nodded your head, wordlessly agreeing to whatever wicked plan he had formed in his head.  

Leon was giddy as he left the room, his attitude was suddenly diminished leaving behind a more lighthearted side to him. You wish he showed this side more often, maybe it would have made the past few months more bearable. You could have learned to love him instead of resent him but he didn't make it easy, he never did. Leon returned to the room holding a blade, the metal shone in the dim lighting. “This blade has been with me for years. It was given to me by someone…someone that is no longer with us” Leon began to explain. He went to hold out but hesitated, he watched your behaviour; scanning for any signs of disobedience as if you were really going to risk stabbing him. “I’m sorry for your loss” you whispered. His eyes remained on you, the change in your behaviour was weird and off-putting; he was used to the constant fighting and arguing. He could see the effects it had on your soul and body, your face now dull and diminished of any light and joy. 

Leon had never told you about his past before, how he ended up the way he has. Maybe if he did you would have felt more comfortable as if you knew him on a deeper level. You possibly would have been able to connect with him better and understand why he did what he did. Your now curious nature was making him regret his choices, his approach to keeping you here. It was conflicting with him. “Come here” Leon commanded as he sat back on the bed. The knife still gripped in one hand, his other outstretched to you. You settled in between his legs, his fingers toying with the bottom of your towel, the soft fabric getting caught in his calloused fingers. He brought the black knife to your collarbone, teasing the tip of the knife against your clean skin. “What are you going to do?” 

He sighed at the weight of your hands on his shoulders, the action feeling strangely domestic. His eyes flickered at the shadows on the walls, the sight depicting a couple in love…maybe the two of you would develop to that stage. Just like he wanted. You hissed as he pressed the tip of the knife into the skin. A droplet of your blood ran down your chest and began to stain the towel. “Leon…that hurts” you whimpered as he continued to drag the knife down your chest. He didn't respond, only observing his work as he continued to move the knife. His kind nature was replaced as quickly as it appeared. 

He smiled when he was finished, ignoring the small strips of blood. He had marked you. His initials are now embedded into your chest. “Leon why…” you whimpered looking down at your ruined skin. The air exposed to the wound made it sting, you couldn't even forget about it. It would be visible in anything you wore when you showered or looked in the mirror. Leon just looked at it with a smile. His fingers swiped away at the streams of blood. “You'll never forget now” he stated simply. “Never forget what?” 

“That you belong to me” 

His words swirled in your head creating a fuzzy side to them. They were meant to comfort you, that's what he intended. To protect you to keep you safe but it felt wrong, to be kept here in these woods. With nothing to do but look pretty for him, you had no hobbies, no life outside this house now. “You always belonged to me, from the moment I brought you here you were mine” Leon added, his words unnerving you further. You watch his eyebrows pinch together, his expression turning darker. “you are my gift for all my service, all my pain” 

His eyes met yours again, scanning your features for a reaction to his confession.” you make it all worthwhile” 

If only you knew who he was deep down, you might have been able to sympathise with him. Soothe him from his apparent pain like a normal partner would have. If he was hurt in his life why would he repeat the cycle, why would he ruin yours the way he was ruined? Take away your freedom, and your choices. Leon watched your face contort as the problems circled in your brain, he waited for you to respond. To shower him in love, that's how it worked, wasn't it? He opened up and you accepted him? His breath hitched as you initiated another form of contact, your weight landed on his thigh as you sat on his lap leaning back into him. Leon's arms timidly wrapped around yours almost like he was afraid to scare you. To end this moment too soon. “What happened to you?” you asked. You felt him tense, his eyes falling back towards the wound he made on your chest. “I was forced to become a government agent after I survived an event no one should have lived through. I've been a pawn my whole life, experiencing nightmares one after the other.” 

You nodded at his explanation, his words were short and clipped. You took that as your sign not to pry anymore, to accept the information he gave you in the doses he allowed it. After all, he's been more than kind since your escape this morning. Even if the wound was now a reminder of the last time you attempted to. “I'm sorry the world treated you like that, but I don't understand how I fit into it?” You asked. Leon sighed, his hand forcing your head to look at him. “You are my chance to finally keep something and someone safe. To provide a happy ending when all I have seen are bad ones. A happy ending for the both of us” 

You understood where he was coming from, you were never opposed to the idea of living off the grid with someone you loved. But that was the difference with this situation, which Leon will never understand. You haven't optionally chosen to love him, to live this life. There will always be a part of you rebellious to him, demanding to be set free. You didn't object to his words, you didn't smile or frown. You just accepted them, accepted this as your new life. His kiss was tender this time as he brought yours to his. His touch was softer and more loving. It confused you how when you behaved he acted like this. That was until his finger swiped against your wound, drawing your attention back to it - reminding you that it was there. 

At the same moment, his other hand slid underneath your towel, instantly finding your folds. That was weird he never prioritized your pleasure, his fucks were only ever for himself. “I've been a dick, let me make it up to you” 

The towel fell around you both as he removed it, letting you stand up in front of him again. Once again this small second of standing in front of him was interrupted as he pressed kisses against his initials. You felt him groan as he licked against the dried blood before sucking against the fresh blood that began to pebble. It was a strange sensation when he kissed you again, tasting the iron of your blood on your lips. Spotting the darkened red tone of his own as it dried against them. He stood above you once more, spinning you both around and walking you backwards until you fell against the bed. His shirt was removed first, the light showing off the scars and his abs which were mostly hidden behind a layer of fat now he wasn't in service anymore. The clink of his belt was loud and sharp as it cut through the tension, you didn't miss his smirk as you flinched. 

His hands spread your legs, watching as your pussy glistened in the light. Perhaps he should do foreplay more often if you were greeting him like this. You watched as his cock sprung free, the length always intimidating despite only receiving it earlier. You flinched again as his body made contact with yours, ignoring the flash of hurt in his eyes that despite promising not to flee anymore you still had the instinct. His grip was still possessive as he tugged you closer, lining himself up before burying the length back into your warmth. Instead of the brutal pace you were used to at first he was gentle, as if he was learning the curves inside of your body. Enjoying each clench you gracefully gave him in favour of a particular movement. It was when you started squirming that his brain flicked a switch. The pleasure building up too quickly causing you to thrash and moan beneath him but to Leon you tried to get away. Again. 

His hands trapped you in a tight grip halting your movements bringing him closer to his moving pelvis. Your back arched in retaliation giving him the chance to go deeper. Leon stopped his movements as he watched you, the orgasm you had impending now fading away. Your whines were pretty, as were your flushed out cheeks. His body leaned over yours, his lips attacking your neck before moving towards your collar bone. Finishing his trail once again on the carving he had made. He sucked on it again as he began to move, pain flaring once more as it mixed with the pleasure he was giving you. “I have left such an imprint on you that if you escape…everyone will have to know about me to learn about you” 

He wasn’t wrong, the searing pain coming from your chest was proof enough, a scar would soon form. One you would never be able to cover up. His lips silenced your whines as he began to work on his own pleasure again. His balls tightening as he increased his onslaught. He felt you cum around him; your arousal now coating his length allowing his movements to become more fluid. His grip was bruising as he manhandled you into position. Your leg hoisted over his hip, “ Look at me” 

Your eyes flicked over to him instantly, you hated how obedient you were to him now. How willingly you followed his every command. You felt his warmth flood throughout your insides, his hips still working hard to thrust his final mark of the day inside you. Making sure you never forget about him. He quickly eased himself out of you, allowing your body to relax against the bedsheets. He watched his cum spill from between your legs, the large smears of blood over your chest. He had ruined you, ruined you for anyone else. 

[archangeldyke-all]

hope you're feeling better by the ghosting! Lesbian dating scene is hard out here 😭 have an ask if you're up for it. Or you can just listen abt this scenario I have, totally fine either way just wanna let these thoughts out. And you're my fav sevika writer so! It's a bit angsty/comfort ig? Basically Sevika explaining to reader why it's such a struggle to say "I love you".

Not just because it's an admission of feelings for such a character but I think it's also cuz loving someone also means you have to accept anything could happen to either of them, esp since Zaun and her job are quite dangerous. So saying those 3 words feels like accepting that risk and continue on which is a big thing to do, it's like willingly leaving yourself open to potential heartaches. Idk just recently saw posts about how love is not just a feeling but also a choice, whether to stay/commit/any other reason the person feels what love is. Felt like if the reader is the first thing she's ever cared about and don't wanna lose her (whether it's a breakup, death etc,), she would struggle saying it cuz it feels like accepting that risk which she doesn't want to. She would still make up for it by showing her love & appreciation thru other means tho! Mb the reader had anxious thoughts on whether she reciprocated, or Sevika feels bad for not saying back for so long that she felt like she has to explain why she's struggling.

Sorry if I'm rambling too long 😅 hope you have a great year ahead, love your writing as well! ❤️

i love this sm <33

men and minors dni

even though you've lived in zaun your whole life, you understand that your life's been a lot softer than it could've been.

you've never had to worry about where you'll sleep at night-- you've always had a dry, warm bed to rest in.

you've gone hungry some nights, but you're lucky enough to have never gone more than a few days without a warm meal.

and your choice in career keeps you out of the line of danger; safe and inside most of the day, home before sunset each night.

so, while you're zaunite enough to know how to keep your head down and mind your own business, you understand that for most people life's a lot scarier.

sevika's one of those people.

sevika's known grief for almost as long as she's known how to talk. she's spent her fair share of nights in the cold, and she's gone to bed hungry more often than she's gone to bed full and satisfied. plus, sevika's dedicated her life to being a revolutionary. which means sevika has a lot of enemies.

so it's no surprise that lovey-dovey words come easier for you than they do for sevika.

it isn't until two years into your relationship that you realize she's never said she loves you. sevika has to be the one to point it out.

"i think i gotta call it an early night, baby. you stay up and finish the movie." you say around a yawn, leaning forward to kiss your girlfriend on the couch. sevika pouts.

"just sleep on top of me here." she requests. you snort.

"you'll throw your back out carrying me to bed."

"that's just offensive. i could lift three of you." sevika's pout worsens. "goodnight." she huffs. "give me another kiss."

you laugh and roll your eyes. "i love you." you say with exasperation as you lean in to kiss her. sevika stiffens against you. you pull away to study her face. "'s wrong?"

"you always say that." sevika whispers. you raise an eyebrow at her, climbing into her lap to hold her face between your hands.

"well, yeah. 'cause i do."

"i know." sevika says with a tiny smile. it makes your heart flutter. it's quiet for a moment as you wait patiently for your girl to gather her words. eventually, sevika sighs. "does it ever bother you that i don't say that to you?" she asks.

you frown in confusion. "what, that you love me?" you ask. sevika nods. you sputter a laugh. "yes you do, you say it all the time." you scoff.

sevika blinks up at you in shock. "no i don't." she says. "baby, i've never said it. to anyone. ever."

oh. well, that's surprising. you furrow your brow as you try to recall an instance where your girlfriend let the words slip, and you're shocked to realize that she, in fact, has not. "oh." you say.

sevika gulps. "does that... is that bad?" she asks.

you blink down at her, and your heart shatters. "oh, baby, no." you coo, kissing her frown. "no, that's not bad."

"but-- i should be able--"

"darling, i know you love me." you cut her off. sevika blushes almost as red as she did the first time she saw your tits. you smile, brushing your thumbs over her crimson cheeks. "you make that very clear."

"yeah but i--"

"you moved me into your sacred bachlorette pad three months into us meeting. yesterday, you came home from work with a stab wound, and tried to make me dinner before patching yourself up."

"it was just a scratch."

"i'm not finished. you call me stupid shit like sweetbean and cookie-- and you do it in front of other people! you! sevika; the scary lady of zaun!" she chuckles a little bit at this. "sevika, i didn't even realize you hadn't said it until you told me just now." you kiss her nose. "it's not bad."

sevika leans forward to bury her face against your neck, inhaling deeply. "i just... i want to say it." she whispers. you nod. "i wish i could say it like you do; just, whenever i feel it." god she's romantic. you choke back your own tears as you kiss her scalp. "but... if i say it..." sevika trails off.

"if you say it, it makes it real." you whisper, nodding. "it makes it somethin' you can lose." you can feel her hot tears on your throat. you don't mention it.

"y-yeah." she whispers shakily, her hands clutching at your hips desperately. "and i can't lose you."

"you won't baby. even if the worst happens, i'm yours forever. i'll haunt the shit outta you." this pulls a startled laugh out of her, and you grin. "you don't have to say it for the rest of our lives, if you can't. i won't mind. just as long as we're together."

and that settles it.

for a while...

sevika starts practicing.

she'll spell it out to you, 'i l-o-v-e you, baby.' or she'll whisper it to you when she thinks you're sleeping.

at the three year mark, sevika can say it when she's drunk enough. it's fucking adorable.

"i have somethin' import'nt' t' tell you..." she says with a waggle of her eyebrows. you burst into laughter.

"oh, do you?" you ask.

"mmhmm. look." sevika darts forward to peck your lips, then pulls back with a proud smile. "i love'ya." she slurs. you grin.

"i love you too, baby."

"an' if this jinxes everythin' and y' die-- y' gotta make the haunting obvious 'kay?" she asks. you cackle.

"alright, love."

by the time you're married, the words are almost compulsive for her. sevika can't leave a room without shooting a 'love you' over her shoulder at you. even if you're arguing.

"oh, so you've conveniently got a fuckin' 'meeting' in the middle of the night, on your night to do fuckin' dishes?! if you don't get in the kitchen and grab the sponge right now you're sleeping on the couch!"

"it's six pm, it's a dinner meeting! i'll do the dishes when i get back! you act like i'm fuckin' negligent, but you're the one who doesn't know how to properly clean a fuckin' toilet! janna, you annoy me-- i love you, i'll be back by midnight!" she huffs as she slams the door behind her.

despite how pissed you are-- you can't help but smile a bit at her words.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17

[comicalcarnival]

I read Running Up That Hill by @dunedragon and I ADORE it. If you're a battle network fan, I reccomend checking it out. It takes the lore and makes a REALLY compelling narrative involving Lan & Mega getting role swapped and adjusting to their new roles while trying to solve a mystery to get switched back. It's really good food.

So of course I had to do my usual thing and make plushies of them.

[signanothername]

As someone with little to no empathy because of autism, I can vouch that it does it hurt when you upset someone you love because of the lack of empathy.

The thing about a lack of empathy is that you cannot relate to or understand or connect to *other* people's emotions but you do have your own emotions to go off of. It's like a bubble where nothing can go in or out emotion wise and you are stuck with your own tilted view that you distinctly know doesn't encompass everything but it's the best you have.

The closest you can get is an approximation of someone's pain when you hold it up to your own, comparing the physical reactions and trying to think of when you did those things and the feelings attached to them.

It doesn't always work because you don't know when you are *missing* an emotion, something that wasn't present in you to start with or it's an atypical expression of an emotion that the general populace doesn't experience. So with no internal knowledge and faulty data you turn to research about it so maybe you can at least know what not to do to hurt someone even if you don't know why.

You do all of this because you love this person and care about them enough to try and parse through an emotional language you don't even know the alphabet for.

So it hurts and it's frustrating when you mess up and upset them anyway even when you are trying desperately not too. Sometimes you don't even know what happened immediately and that's the worst part.

You don't know how to fix it and comforting doesn't come naturally because you can't connect emotionally like that. So you do your best, you do things that help you and you do the things that you read about that helps while doubting it's effectiveness without the correct emotional display behind it.

But you try and that's the important part.

I know how it feels to watch your loved one go to others for comfort, not out of malice for you, but simply because you can't give them what they need at that moment. No matter how much you want too. (It seemed like killer tried to maybe fix his mistake but it wasn't helping color calm down so he had to let the others take over)

With an added layer of turbo dissociation and not in tune with his own emotional displays or behaviors. I'm sure killer has to get really analytical about it and given his penchant for research and high intelligence, I'm sure it's even more frustrating for him to hurt color when he has gone through all of the things not to do and he should have been watching colors body language and all that but he slipped up because he got too comfortable around color and wasn't paying attention (a product of being around someone you love) mistakes happen and situations pop up that you weren't even beginning to prepare for yet (you can't prepare for everything).

But yeah sorry for the ramble and these are my own personal experiences and I wanted to say something because I have been in killers exact situation and he has become even more baby to me.

(I like to think that when color isn't as upset anymore killer wanders in and puts a cat in his lap without saying anything and curls up next to his feet on the ground and does his weird purr equivalent bone rattle thing because he knows cats help him and he knows purrs help calm down skeletons so he does his best)

Fun fact about me: I have little to no empathy as well

I simply don't mention it

The problem with the stigma around empathy is the false view that you have to have empathy to be even remotely capable of doing good things, which is absolute bullshit, empathy is morally neutral, someone who has empathy can be an absolute asshole and someone with zero empathy can be kind

It's actions that matter not thoughts or what you feel or lack thereof

Killer lacks the understanding of what Color truly needs emotionally, but it doesn't mean that Killer enjoys hurting Color, it just means that he ends up lost on what to do to make it better, and when he tries to do what he knows best (acting on what his mind says than heart) it doesn't work at times cause it's not what Color is in need of at that critical moment

That's where love comes in

Color fully understands this, but he has some social needs that Killer can't provide at the moment, he needs to be held close and to have someone reassure him, and Killer simply can't provide that, and Color does not hold it against Killer in any way, and that's how deep their love for each other is

Killer of course, does try to fix it the best he can, the only way he knows how is by what he observes of Color, what Color likes and what might put a smile on his face

And most of the time it works, others it doesn't, but Color still sees and appreciates Killer's efforts when he knows full well that being connected doesn't come naturally to Killer at all

(Also that image is honestly so adorable gbsdcbsud)

[eybefioro]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS @ghostsparrow 💛💛💛

The TNAN server hosted a secret santa, and Sparrow said he love pirates AUs and space AUs. I immediately thought about treasure planet, so here it is <3 thank you @captainblou for organising it!!!

Wacky races - fairly odd parents - powerpuff girls - scooby doo - adventure time - Cowardly dog - JJBA

(Time-lapse and ramblings under the cut)

Extra long Time-lapse this time as a THREAT.

I remember NOTHING about Treasure Planet's plot, but the ✨️Aesthetics✨️ are seared in my brain forever. I mean-

HOW COOL IS THAT. I love this retrofuturistic(?) Style, the mix between robots and cyborgs and SPACE with uniforms and SHIPS. It's just soooooo good.

I didn't really followed 100% this Disney style, more the idea of it. I've been trying to find my footing and draw stuff without replicating each stylistic choice. Idk if I succeed or not but it was fun!

One thing about this is that even if it's not perceptible here, the perspective is a bit huh... different. I had to figure it out by trial and error, and this end up having 4 focal points.

(Sorry this prob doesn't make that much sense but it was the only way for me to show it lol)

DO YOU SEE THOSE NICE RED AND GREY LINES?? I learned how to use rulers on ibispaint and NOW I AM UNSTOPPABLE. I know how to draw perspective by hand, on paper, but on my phone it was impossible. The screen is too small, and the precision too crappy since I don't have a proper pen. But now with this thing I can assure the line is straight and that direction is right, and now I can do nice perspectives hell yes!

This drawing I did of muriel and Eric is were I was testing stuff out. The rulers, the perspective, the not copying any style thing.

I'm not super satisfied with the end result of this perspective here, bc I wanted to make something more warped, more dynamic/stretched but I really don't know how to do that yet so simple perspective it is lol

This drawing was also supposed to accompany a fic, but it took me too long to do this, so I didn't had the time to write it. Maybe one day...

Now with details that I liked:

STAR FRECKLES THAT FLOAT OVER CROWLEY'S FACE! Also he needs sunscreen. Have tou seen his thighs? LMAO

The rendering g on Aziraphale’s clothes! Especially the trousers. I think this might be my best clothes that I painted so far. I'm getting better at this :D I was inspired by Aziraphale’s bastille and Edinburgh looks, + Mr Fell magician cape (and also the uniforms from treasure planet). I hope it looks OK in the end, I had too much fun mixing all this together lol

Earth colonised by two opposing forces. I spent too long playing with this concept and how to draw it lol I hope it looks nice!

[rhenuvee]

The Secret Menu [Diluc x reader]

Summary: Diluc's love for you is overflowing, so he wants to find a way to show you... [established relationship]

A/N: Happy new year everyone! Manifesting positive vibes and good health for you all! Sorry for the inactivity again, I am trying to post and interact more but clearly it's difficult aaa

Warnings: Old draft... just trying to get rid of it so sorry if this is cringe and rushed

════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ════

"...What's your favourite drink?"

Diluc asks this one evening you decide to accompany him at the Angel's Share. You're in a safe spot, closest to him of course. He was thinking about something for quite a while- something to surprise you with.

"My favourite drink..?"

You didn't think anything of the question, though you were curious when you saw Diluc's expression- deep in thought, yet spaced out. You give it some thought and he listens attentively as you talk about the drinks you like: You ramble about the sweet fruit juice which was your first drink Diluc gave you at the Angel's Share, the milky drink you had that quenched your thirst on hot days, a flowery drink you had in Liyue that soothed your stomach...

A week passed, and you felt like Diluc was busying himself more. You decided to visit him again at his work, but surprisingly he approached you with a task.

"Could you try these for me?" He places four small glasses in front of you, with the same coloured liquid in them.

"Oh! Is this going to be on the menu?" You ask while examining the liquid curiously before trying them.

"S-Sort of." He replies. He places a glass of water to reset your tastes after each one, as well as a tissue just in case. How sweet, you think, smiling at the thought of his care for you. However, you don't expect even more sweetness when you try each one, the subtle differences on your tongue.

"Mm, they're all really good 'Luc~" He relishes in your delighted expression, eyes closed and smiling for the taste of the drink he made. But just this once there's something else he's anticipating. He waits patiently for your comments as you think of what to say. "Three has a thicker texture, while two has more sweetness from the fruit you added. I'm not sure which one patrons would like more, though..."

"Which one do you like, my love?" Diluc smiles at how sweet yet honest you were with your feedback. But your opinion is what he needs.

"Me?" You ask. And suddenly you feel a hint of something different in the way the asks you this with softness. The way he looked at you so lovingly- well he always does, but it felt like the same look he gave you when he held you close at night, soothing you before finally falling asleep. Or when he arrived with flowers for you when you go on dates. "I like this one the best, but maybe with a bit more of the fruity flavour."

Diluc only quietly nods and immediately gets started on the change you suggested. It is from this response that you wonder what's got him distracted- or rather what he's puzzled about. You've come to know that this is the face he makes when he is thinking hard about something.

"Why do you ask...?" You subtly ask, almost as a whisper. You didn't want to intrude in case this was a secret. You so soft that you weren't sure if he heard you and if you should repeat it. But Diluc always hears your voice. He turns to you, and gives the new and improved drink without saying a word. You're too occupied with the anticipation of the new taste, so you don't notice the blush slowly rising on his cheeks and his furiously beating heart. You take a sip and your eyes widen.

"It's perfect." You blink with a smile, giving him the positive note that he's made it the best.

"It's for you." He says softly, looking at you dearly. He relishes in the moment that your mouth subtly hangs in an O-shape, expressing your surprise.

Yes, your favourite drink. He wanted to make something for you. However, he couldn't paint pictures as good as his father did. Though he can cook, he doesn't think he'll master dishes as well as Adelinde and the other maids. And Diluc would absolutely kill for the ability to make you a piece of jewelry, but his hands are too coarse, he thinks. Not delicate enough to make you something of quality- something perfect for you. He wants to make something from his own hand- that showed his love. And so...

"You made a drink for me?" You repeat in a question, starting to feel emotional. Your hands instantly feel the need to pull your lover closer, and he notices as he complies with your movement, leaning toward you and letting you hook your arms around his neck.

Diluc gives a soft but slow nod, but it's all that's needed to convey his confirmation of love. You share a quick kiss, letting your lips submit to the rhythm he guides you with. His large hand comes over to smooth against the skin of your cheek, then grazes behind your ear. You both pull back, relishing in the short and sweet moment, unable to stop the smiles on your faces.

Though you've been together for a while, you always appreciate his thoughtful gestures and how he reaffirms his love for you more and more. You love the drink Diluc made for you, but most of all, you love him.

════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ════

[mimikyusrealform]

physics problem

Spencer Reid x Reader.

Word Count: 1,127.

Notes: S2 Spencer Reid, my beloved. I'm not a Physics student, though technically I use a lot of it in my career.

The world liked to demonize an ambitious, career-oriented woman. You were extremely proud of your mom, who achieved her undergrad in Physics when you were eight, despite having to take a five-year break because you were born. But then, at seven-years-old, you hadn't particularly enjoyed when she made you watch her recorded lectures and take notes for her. The fact you were capable of writing down fairly comprehensible notes at that age was remarkable, but it left you with a distaste for physics that you didn't grow out of until you were twenty-six.

If that growth could be attributed to anything, or anyone, you would be hard-pressed to admit that it was, lamentably, because of Dr. Spencer Reid. The fact you had an embarrassingly juvenile crush on your unit's resident genius had nothing to do with it. Rather, you would begrudgingly say that his enthusiasm was contagious. Terminal.

And while you were almost always down to hear him rambling and you were never inclined to interrupt him, it was hardly efficient to be listening to him while you worked in last case's property inventory. Sue you, but you never quite learned how to multitask.

He didn't seem to get the memo, though, still chatting with you from his desk, which was conveniently next to yours. “... so from 0.01 to 200 seconds after the Big Bang, the first hydrogen nuclei begin to form. And then large, large clouds of hydrogen and helium gas start to form as well, and they contract under the force of gravity. As the clouds become smaller and smaller, the energy generated from the contraction creates enough kinetic energy to overcome—”

“—Coulomb repulsion,” you said absentmindedly as you continued working—laptop, Apple iBook G4, transferred to Evidence Locker 23B—before you noticed he stopped talking.

You looked up, a minute frown already pulling at your eyebrows. “What?” you asked him.

He blinked slowly, like a cat, observing you as if you were a newly discovered specimen. A new earthworm specimen, no less. Unflattering.

“Uh, nothing,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “It's just... yeah, that's what I was about to say. Coulomb repulsion, I mean. The repulsive force between like-charges. But, uh, I knew that. I didn't know—I didn't know that you knew.”

Oh. That's right. You never showed any indication that you knew of what he was talking about when he rambled on physics, and physics specifically. You did like to share and exchange knowledge on Anthropology—your undergrad—with him, and sometimes about other areas of study you happened to be a bit cognizant on, but never about physics, the bane of your young existence. Furthermore, you actively acted as if you did not know anything related to physics. Half because you liked it when he showered you with such earnest little lectures, and half because you didn't quite want him to know you were decently knowledgeable in that field.

“Uhhh,” you said dumbly, elongating the syllable. “Lucky guess.”

It was his time to frown. “That was not a lucky guess,” he said. “You clearly know about this topic. But—you never showed it before. Why?”

He was acting as if this was a great offense, you realized. As if he was defending you from being underestimated. But he was defending you from yourself. You didn't acknowledge the irregular palpitations of your heart; it was too shameful. You were twenty-six, dammit.

“Look, Doctor,” too affectionately, you were addressing him too affectionately, “it's not a big issue. I just... I mean, it never came up, okay? I just happen to know a bit about Coulomb and whatnot. No big deal.”

“No big deal,” he echoed. “Right, no big deal. Sorry for overreacting.”

You relaxed back into your seat, offered him a smile, and returned to work on your report. Some time after that, he called your name. You made a vague humming sound.

“Hey,” he said from his desk. “I always forget.” That should have been the first red flag, but you were too distracted to notice. “After you overcome Coulomb repulsion, what's the only way for an atom to lose energy?”

You didn't have to think for that, it came naturally. “To fuse with another atom. During nuclear fusion, the energy released counteracts the inward pull of gravity.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding far too amused. “I see. Thanks.”

“You're—” Wait. “Wait.”

“The verb to wait comes from Norman French, ultimately deriving from Proto-Germanic: wahtwijaną,” he supplied unhelpfully, all happy-go-lucky from his desk as he ‘read’ through a file.

“You—motherfucker,” you whispered. “You trickster. You cheater.”

“Says the woman who plays the dirtiest game of Blackjack known to man,” he was quick to quip back. “I can confidently say that you're the filthiest cheat I've ever met.”

“Dr. Counting Cards can not be talking,” you countered defensively.

“Then I guess we're even.” He was smiling in that stupidly boyishly charming way.

“No, we're not. No, we're not.” Yes, they were. “Morgan still plays cards with me. The same can not be said about you.”

Too fondly, he said, “That's because he hasn't realized you cheat.” He paused. Then, he added, “Just like I didn't realize you knew so much about physics.”

You sighed, leaning back into her seat. “It's not your fault,” you told him. Firmly. “I purposefully acted that way, as if I didn't know.”

He hesitated, “Are you—are you embarrassed of knowing?”

You shook your head. You knew what he was thinking, and it pained you. “No, not at all. I'm the opposite of embarrassed, why would I? But... I guess I don't have fond memories of physics. My mom used to make me write notes for her lectures when she was busy with her night work, but I hated it, I only wanted to play with my dolls. She used to say it was the only thing she ever asked of me, that I shouldn't be such an ungrateful kid. I guess it stuck with me. It somehow killed the magic of learning physics for me for many years.”

He was silent for a moment, deep in thought. You bit the inside of your cheek. You wondered if he was gonna try to comfort you, say something motivational. While you weren't opposed to the idea, he must know you hated those kinds of talks. Especially considering the environment they were in.

Finally, he said, “For the record, being good at physics is like being good at the second most popular sport in the world.”

That pulled a smile at your lips. “You don't know what you're talking about, do you?”

He made a noncommittal noise. “Golf?”

You snorted, “Yeah, golf is the second most popular game in the world. If golf's the second, what's the first?”

“Chess, obviously,” he was smiling. You were, too.

“Obviously.”

[dollracha]

𐙚 i want it ⋆  h.js  x fem! reader

pairing: han jisung x inexperienced! reader genre: smut warnings: swearing ⋆ slight corruption kink ⋆ needy han ⋆ slight perv!han ⋆ sorta dubcon ⋆ reader is called “baby” (several times) & “my girl” (once) ⋆ non penetrative sex ⋆ munch jisung ⋆ dialogue heavy wc: 707 synopsis: you both promised to take it slow, but jisung struggles to keep his word, and you certainly don't mind. author's note: been thinking about this for days this is so incredibly self indulgent its not funny. this is not beta read. this is barely proofread. i'm just a whore.

© dollracha do not copy reupload or repost.

“fuck, ‘m sorry, baby.” jisung whines into your neck as he ruts his cock against your wet panties. he’s got one hand wrapped tightly around his cock, the other gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. you’ve both soaked your panties, his precum and the wetness from your pussy make it almost uncomfortably sticky.

“god, ‘m so fuckin’... gross.” he rambles, pulling himself up to spit on his cock. he watches it slide off the side of his tip and down your ass. “making a mess of your poor pussy just to get myself off.”

“hannie…” your moan has him rolling his eyes back. you can’t remember how you ended up beneath him, just that you didn’t want it to stop yet. It wasn’t enough. and yet you were trying to find it in you to tell him to slow down, it’s what you wanted after all. to take it slow, wait until ‘the right time’ for your first time with jisung. that went out the window the moment he started feeling you up today.

“i know… said i'd keep my pretty girl all pure for a little longer.”

but jisung’s cock throbs at the sight of you all defiled. your hair is a mess from when he shoved you down on the bed and had his hands all up in it when he kissed you earlier. your makeup is smudged, mascara messy from the way tears well up in your eyes and spill when his cockhead rubs against your clit just right. your lipstick blurs around your lips from the sloppy kisses you shared. he begged you not to wear a bra this morning when you got dressed, it made your tits even easier for him to access. all he had to do was pull down your little tank top and they were all his. your skirt is pushed up, soft tummy peeking out. and your pussy, so wet for him already and he’s still one layer away. 

“look at you… so nasty f’me.”

“can i take off your panties? please, baby?” jisung stops rutting against your clothed pussy and gives a couple hard taps against your clit. “know it’s dirty, baby. but it’ll feel good, okay?”

all you want at this point is to feel good–screw everything else–so you nod and lift your hips so he can slide your panties off your legs.

You try to shut your legs but jisung is quicker. both of his hands keep your thighs open. “let me see that pretty pussy, don’t hide it from me.” he’s quick to spit on it again, and this time you can’t help the high pitched moan that escapes your lips. 

“did your exes ever spit on it, baby?”

you shake your head, hands coming to cover your flushed face. nobody’s ever touched you like jisung has. you’re not a virgin… you're just unexperienced. very unexperienced.

“like it?” he asks and you don’t respond. is it wrong to say you liked it? it’s gross, you think. it’s so so gross… but is it wrong?

warm saliva hits your pussy again, this time you can feel jisung’s breath on you. 

“do you like it when i spit on your pussy, baby?”

“... yes…” you respond, and finally pry your arms away from your face. jisung’s laying down on the bed, hands pressed against your thighs to keep them open. he can’t decide whether to look at your pussy or your eyes. he settles on your eyes. 

“fuck…” jisung whispers. his eyes fall back to your pussy with a smile. he licks his lips and lets his head fall against the blankets.

“ji?” you reach for his hand, and as soon as he feels your hand on his he’s grasping it, and raising his head up to kiss your knuckles. 

“i know you wanna take it slow… but please, please can i eat you out, baby? ‘s all i want.”

jisung agreed to take it slow, but he's got you half dressed and soaking your bed. maybe you should be mad, but god, the pleasure jisung was giving you was addicting. you weren’t afraid to give yourself away to him at this point.

“i want it.” you nod, and jisung kisses your hand again.

“gotta give my girl what she wants then, yeah?”

© dollracha do not copy reupload or repost.

[chrisgotitall]

!! REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN IF YOU WANT A SPECIFIC SCENARIO TO COME TRUE !!

SORRY FOR THE DELAY

You and Mike had a little spat in the early afternoon. You are both working really hard and have busy schedules and big projects to work on and when you get home you just want to be heard and supported by your loved one. And usually you both work fine that way but this afternoon you didn't.

You started talking to Mike about how stressful your job had been for the last few weeks expecting him to listen and give you some sort of comfort. But, instead, Mike just gave you a ramble of his own stressful job as an answer.

Now, you don't want to seem rude or anything but you expected a little more tact from him. He knows you'll listen to him whenever he wants to talk but in that case you wanted your own moment.

This little misunderstanding led to a spat caused by the lack of communication of both of you. And now you weren't talking to each other. You spent the rest of your afternoon in silence and he prepared dinner without saying a word and now you were doing the dishes while he was on the couch watching TV.

You finished your chore and sat on the couch, far away from him. He had a blanket to cover him and he had his head rest on his hand while the light of the TV danced on his face.

You felt him looking at you but of course you didn't turn. He turned his head again. The blanket moved and suddenly he was pulling both your arm and legs towards him.

"Still mad at me?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"What do you think?" you said.

"Mmh..." he nuzzled his nose through your hair and gave you a kiss on the neck.

"You're making some risky choices today, you know?"

"I know. I'm sorry I just rambled over you earlier" he apologized. Still his hands were on your waist and his breath was warm against your neck.

"Yeah, I am sorry too about attacking you like I did"

He was putting your hair behind your ear and out of your neck. His touch made you quiver but you still let your words out steadily.

"It's okay" he kissed you on the lips, then he proceeded to trail his kisses on your cheek and your neck.

"You're buying me with all this snuggling, stop" you said pulling him away.

He ignored that and kept burying his face in your neck a bit more.

[nextinline-if]

I don't know if you're still answering asks or anything but going through some of the asks has me thinking of so many questions lol these are all from the perspective of ex-lover F

how would F react with hurt MC confronting them with "I'm not just going to be your second choice! I deserve better than that. You left me for someone else, I honestly doubt you ever even loved me." before storming of with tears rolling down their face and I guess maybe F realizing they might have completely fucked everything up with MC?

Also does F consider how much bringing up their spouse in front of MC hurts MC and makes it feel like they got left behind for someone else?

And oh man knowing F slept with Lucille is kinda like a gut punch oof, When playing the game I assumed they married as friends and with F having feelings for MC that meant they didn't have sex but it being confirmed on here is like daaaaaamn like F you didn't just break my heart you fucking destroyed it, What are Fs' feelings on this matter if this is how MC felt? (especially it being it hurt the MC cause they ran off and slept with someone else while the MC loved them like MC is not bothered by anyone else's body count cause you know they weren't in love with them and didn't have shared feelings, its more the betrayal of trust causing this hurt. Like if F had given a proper goodbye and a proper rejection of MC feelings/breakup it wouldn't be as painful for MC, I guess my main point still being is how does F feel about an MC hurt they slept with Lucille?)

and I wanted to ask is if Percival was still around and since he was the one who invited Felix and F back how would he feel seeing at how hurt the MC is to the return of F or just seeing the MC even more heartbroken being around F?

oh one more angst question that applies personally to my MC and F, I play as Trans man MC who is exes with Fredrick just a scenario of my MC with his head down asking Fredrick "Is it because of how I am.......is that why you had to find someone else?" (I'm a trans man so I love getting to play characters true to me so thank you)

Sorry for the ramble lol I hope this ask wasn't too much or weird, I don't think I have ever sent an ask this long before to anyone lol but your IF is very fun and inspiring so thank you! ಥ_ಥ

hi anonymous! I have been on here in a while so I no clue when you sent this I'm sorry about that :) I didn't answer everything but hopefully this is sufficient.

how would F react with hurt MC confronting them with "I'm not just going to be your second choice! I deserve better than that. You left me for someone else, I honestly doubt you ever even loved me." before storming of with tears rolling down their face and I guess maybe F realizing they might have completely fucked everything up with MC?

F is frozen in place, their throat caught in their throat. Not from the shock of your words but from the shock of realizing just how badly they fucked up. From realizing that the little sliver of hope that was blossoming in their bosom may very well be snuffed out.

I guess my main point still being is how does F feel about an MC hurt they slept with Lucille?

This is complicated to answer, to be honest. I've answered A LOT of asks on this blog so it's been quite a while since I stated this but F slept with Lucille and did not enjoy it and really only did it for "duty". F would absolutely understand why MC would be hurt by them sleeping with Lucille but they know that they can't go back and fix that (or the other mistakes).

and I wanted to ask is if Percival was still around and since he was the one who invited Felix and F back how would he feel seeing at how hurt the MC is to the return of F or just seeing the MC even more heartbroken being around F?

If Percival were still around, he would be upset that MC is suffering. However, the fatherly & kingly part of him that carries wisdom would tell MC how important it is to face the things that break us with courage. MC deserves closure of some kind. That may be moving forward with F. It may not be. Percival would support MC but also encourage them to face their demons.

oh one more angst question that applies personally to my MC and F, I play as Trans man MC who is exes with Fredrick just a scenario of my MC with his head down asking Fredrick "Is it because of how I am.......is that why you had to find someone else?" (I'm a trans man so I love getting to play characters true to me so thank you)

I can only imagine the gut punch for your MC!

F falls to their knees, your hand in theirs, their eyes searching yours. "I'm an idiot, MC," they whisper, their voice soft and broken, haggard F places a tentative and soft kiss on your hand, "Let me spend every day showing you that my leaving has to do with how stupid I am and not because of you. Never because of you," F begs softly, gazing up at you.

Sorry for the ramble lol I hope this ask wasn't too much or weird, I don't think I have ever sent an ask this long before to anyone lol but your IF is very fun and inspiring so thank you! ಥ_ಥ

Please don't apologize. Your ask meant so much to me. And you playing my IF means so much to me. Thank you!

-Vi

[southfarthing]

ok this is random, but iirc you're a Faramir enjoyer, and I've just been thinking abt this nonstop for the past more than a day now. but. I went to see the LOTR play by Tampereen Teatteri (in Tampere, Finland) woth my folks on the 21st of December. And while obviously a four-hour stage adaptation has very limited space to tell the story, they did manage to include the Gondor plot at enough length to have Faramir and Denethor as actual named characters.

And the take on Faramir was just... like. he was a lot more angry, had a lot more of that sharp edge, than the typical depiction of Faramir.

and just. yeah. it was such an unexpected thing, but I think it worked? like i liked it. it was new, it was interesting, it made for a really distinct interpretation of the character despite how little time he actually had on stage, and it's still something that makes sense for him in its way

like i'm probably not gonna entirely pivot my take on Faramir in any future fanfic i might write, but i might play with some more hints of that as flavoring, at some point

and yeah idk sorry again i just wanted to ramble to someome haha

- @fangirl-erdariel

hiii I most certainly am a faramir enjoyer! woah that's so cool?!? FOUR hours??? that's amazing omg I didn't know that was a thing! this is different to the musical, right?

AAHHH bitchy faramir rise!!!!!! imo that's a portrayal that's closer to book!faramir than the pj films? when denethor says he wishes faramir and boromir's placed had been exchanged, it says that "for a moment faramir's restraint gave way" (so he was restraining himself and showing more respect and obedience etc than he was truly feeling), and then he tells denethor that actually once faramir did listen to him and that resulted in boromir's death. so....... dad it's your fault 🫵

so yeah I definitely see some anger and sharpness there! among other things of course, but I'm really glad they tapped into that as, like you said, it's (unfortunately) not a common take! thanks for sharing!!! <33

[brujc]

Spoilers for S2 promo content

Okay guys so I'm gonna be totally honest here it's just gonna be me being a petty bitch and rambling about my first impression on tbhk S2 (from the POV of someone who got into it not a long while ago and stopped the s1 at ep 5)

I would LOVE to say I'm excited about this second season but honestly I am more worried if anything haha...

So...PURELY ANIMATION WISE the op didn't appeal to me like uhh I feel so bad saying that it's like disrespecting the animators but like I mean I just hate how awkward a lot of shots turned out. I mean tbhk's manga art style is like super awesome and it is surely hard as fuck to animate but I really don't think the "thick lines" (idk how exactly to describe ) anime style will do justice to the manga, especially when we consider the pretty action packed and more serious scenes that are to come! I can feel some really clunky movements coming already

Like in this part of the intro, when Aoi and Kane were running towards the group idk why but it felt so... awkward... also this kinda chibified anatomy really doesn't suit some characters.

Like it makes some design choices very questionnable..

Like look at him... Because of the head-bigger-than-body choice he looks a bit weird? Like to be honest he doesn't look like teru at all, if it weren't for his iconic features like the blond hair I wouldn't have recognized him. Where's his prince-ly look? Or idk I don't care if he ain't jaw dropping but his "sharp" vibe and whole hair silhouette is gone..

(I'm super sad like I cannot express how sad I am)

Same goes for Aoi, I don't like how she doesn't have the Aoi vibe, she just looks like some random character (also is it a curse? I feel like she always have shots where her anatomy is super strange like in the flower shot above. Super big head awkward hand position and all)

Even before her major personality reveal she looked less empty than the anime one??? Idk how to express myself

Again with the anatomy, I just genuinely hate it I don't even know why it's just awkward as hell to me ( I said that multiple times already I'm really sorry). The very detailed shading and colors of the clothes and background with this very kid like anatomy and thick outlines just throws me off, idk the characters don't really blend in with the atmosphere (I mean in closer shots, sure but distance/half body shots usually are there most of the time)

I'm sorry I just can't bring myself to like his anime design...the eyes and just everything are so off..

I have a lot to fear but I'm begging please do him justice this season

Baby face again (I mean the characters are young so I might just be a shitty complainer but I just think they don't look good)

Overall I'm super worried for the meaningful scenes in pp arc, they have like chances to be ruined because of clunky animation but I really don't hope so! I can already picture a super awkward fall off the building scene with Kou or super mega awkward escape of the perfect picture with like the bike not feeling fantasy at all.

Anyway I'm losing focus! Ofc there are some fluid shots in the op but I just have the overall feeling that it won't be super good

Sorry for complaining like this but I'm just sad about the adaptation cuz I think some really cool stuff could've been done with the banger base material that is tbhk, so much potential...

I do hope I will be complaining for nothing and that the anime will in reality be very good tho (begging to be proven wrong)

[hexedevolution]

His heart fluttered when she called him 'mi amor'. He was around her enough to know the odd word here and there, even if he was no-where near fluent in her parents native tongue. His head refused to still even more as she continued. Her inspiration? ...God, had everything stemmed from him? Had he truly held so much influence? He just thought she wanted the same thing as he, not that he was the direct reasoning for it all... She had loved him all along?

It felt like relief, and also guilt. His feelings were well met - but she had waited this long for him to catch up? He felt terrible for giving her no choice but to wait... How selfish. Yet he couldn't help but admire her patience, her loyalty. Viktor's stomach twisted at the realisation of it all.

His gaze softened, almost watery. Viktor leaned into her touch more, indulging in how it calmed and reassured him. "How could I not realise how lucky I've been all this time... I'm so sorry, Sky... I'm sorry-"

Viktor shifted his hand from her chin to wrap his arms around her waist fully, allowing her access to him with nothing in the way. Her weight on him was soft...pleasant. Like a warmth granted after being so cold for so long.

When she muttered against his lips about his length of time, he only had enough space to give a short, breathy reply. "I hope so..." He gave into her completely at that point. Viktor's arms remained wrapped around her waist, hand clutching where they lay - as if bringing her into a deep embrace. His kisses were clumsy, unpolished. Clearly he wasn't very well versed, but his keen attitude was there, willing to be guided until his own rhythm was found. He took breaths when he could, when it was available. Still, his chest burned, and he tried to ignore it.

"Mmh!" Came a sudden sound from his throat as he parted, mid-kiss, a slight pant to follow. "I-I realise, I never said it properly. That I never said he back," he spoke with a brisk pace. "But I love you too, Sky." A relieved chuckle, sitting up slightly out of the cushions so to press against her all the more. As if chasing her. "I really do... I love you..." Even with his lips so close to hers, he was on the precipice on another ramble, just trying to find the right words to describe this feeling.

"Mi amor.... Viktor. You've always been my inspiration. I started gathering herbs and studying plants because I wanted to help you. I attended the Academy because you made me believe that I could do it. Every step of the way, I've been watching you and been inspired by everything you do." Sky replied so very gently as she stroked his cheeks with her thumbs.

"So many others would have just given up, laid down to die, or just never pushed themselves the way you have. Every day I marvel anew at how strong you are. At how you keep going and don't let anything stop you. How could I not fall in love with you?" She asked in return while pressing herself closer to him in response to his touch, letting him feel the softness of her body that hid the strength she had developed over the years.

"You will have far more than just months. I promise." She murmured against his lips before kissing him back. She took his passionate response as permission to deepen the kiss and show him her own passion in return. At the same time one of her hands moved to cradle his head and neck while the other went around his shoulders to hold him close as she pressed herself against him as much as possible without hurting him.

Even with the passion of their kiss, she was aware of the weakness of his lungs and made sure to periodically pull back enough for him to breathe without fully breaking the kiss between them.

[technically-human]

Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?

Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?

It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3

Glad you asked

ko-fi