#i know i'm missing a whole bunch of fics and writers

[reveriebae]

How it tastes like

pairing(s) : Roommate! Song Mingi x Fic writer! reader

word count : 2912

genre : smut

synopsis : when your roommate wanna check what's make you stressed out from writing end up to an unexpected tasting experience.

warning(s) : afab! reader, oral (m & f receiving), fingering (f receiving), no protection (please use in rl!), cumplay. Lmk if I missed something.

Minors do not interact, 21+ only!!

🪐smut under the cut🪐

A loud sigh escaping from your lips, your room is dark but the screen from the laptop in front of you lights up your face and some spot behind you which is the headboard of your bed.

"Fuck this is so hard, what the hell am I gonna type" you muttered.

Being a writer is fun, actually really fun, but there's a time where you can't think any word and stressed out when people who read your fics give you a bunch of requests but they doesn't give you any plot idea or something that could boost your writing mood, especially when it comes to something you never even experience but you really want to write about that thing. You don't have to be a full experienced person to write stories, but sometimes to make your story feels alive and entertaining you gotta know the details about the thing that will be the main 'thing' for the whole story.

It's about blowjob in this case, as a smut fanfic writer it's really stressed you out when you realized how powerful and amazing your imagination are but the lack of experience you have is sometimes become a barricade for you to explain every detail of it, it's making you feel exhausted and confused and of course losing your interest to write, but the image of finish your writing that satisfied your imagination feels so so good.

"Hey, Y/N are you still awake?" Your roommate said after knock your bedroom door.

"Yeah, why?" The door cracks open, showing Mingi on the door frame peeks inside your room while all he could see is just a dark room with a small light from the laptop screen.

"Are you serious? Still writing at this fucking hour? Y/N please look at the time..you gotta rest, you gotta work, you have a class tomorrow and you gonna blind yourself if you keep writing in the dark dumbass".

"Shut the fuck up, you always say that I have to find some hobby to not stressed out from my-".

"Hobby do not supposed to make you feel stressed Y/N.. don't get me wrong, can I go in?" you nod and he turn on the light switch of your bedroom, he sits beside you on the bed.

You hurried to close the laptop cause everyone knew you are a writer but no one knows what in the hell your writings are about. Mingi frowns and his face is all confused.

"I was about to help Y/N, don't be such an ass".

"No no, you don't have to Mingi, I... I feel tired, I'm gonna slee-" he grab your laptop in one hand and his other hand grips both of your hand, you gasp as you tried to get off of his hand but you can't match his power.

"Nah you're not gonna fool me this time, come on let me help. You gotta remember your family is not even here, if you sick I'm gonna be the one who got to and will to take care of you".

"But Mingi, that's not the problem..".

"Just tell me what story are you writing right now? Is it romance?" You shook you head.

"Fantasy?action?" Nuh-uh.

"You do horror??".

"No you dumb, I am a smut writer" your face flushed it's now all red and hot from the embarrassment, but his face remained still.

"What is smut? A killer documentary? World secret? Conspiracy theory?" You stare at him in disbelief.

"It's.. it's some kind of... Porn" You stutter as he still grips you hand and your laptop is on his lap. Your faced get hotter when he just laughed in front of your face.

"You? Write a porn? That's amazing actually, despite you interact with guy is a rare view that so cool that you could write that such a thing, so what makes you stressed lately?" He lets out your hand to give you a small clap with smile that you want to wipe of his face, cause you're literally suffering while he unexpectedly support you when he knew you wrote filth all this time.

"You won't help me at all Mingi, just go.." you let out a deep breath, can't seem to look at his eyes.

"You're just unsure of the things that you want to write, because I know you are inexperienced. Now tell me, what makes you stressed?" He ends up rubbing your knuckles softly, wants to make you sure that you're safe with him, wants to make you sure that he cares about you in every way.

"Shut the fuck up Mingi, I said you won't help me".

"You are the one who's gonna shut the fuck up and tell me now" he grumbled he lets your hand then lift up your chin to make you look at his eyes.

"Blowjob, it's blowjob!" Your face might be directed to him but you shut your eyes closed.

"Wasn't so hard was it? Tell me more of your curiosity about blowjob".

You have no choice but to explain to him, it's overshoot. "I- I know blowjob is sucking- you know..dick, I have read those blowjobs scene from a lot of different writers but I'm not sure if I can write about that cause I don't know what to write for the details, I always thought of 'what if I make a mistake?' 'what if my readers mock me because of my writings?' 'what if they call me an inexperienced smut writer?' I got so many 'what if' in my head Mingi and I know you could barely help me, beside this is so embarrassing to talk about this with you cause you're literally a dude".

"That's the point, I'm a dude and that's why I said let me help you. All you gotta do is just ask" Your mind wandered into something you shouldn't thought about, the word 'All you gotta do is just ask' is so ambiguous, is he telling you to ask a question or ask him to do something? You decided to give up and receive the help Mingi gave you.

"So..how a cum tastes like?" You ask bluntly makes him chuckles under his breath.

"I never taste my own cum Y/N" you frown and slap his shoulder make him hissed.

"Fuck off Mingi, you told me you gonna help me!".

"I was Y/N, but I really never taste my own cum so I really don't know" he laughed while blocking your hands that's about to puch his chest. "But you can taste it yourself, if you want to" he smirks after finish his laughter.

"Mingi..you did not..".

"I'm just tryna help, if you want to let's do it..the blowjob, once again if you want to. But if you don't I'll be back to my room right now " You thought he's just playing with you but when you gather your courage to look at his face, he's serious about it.

"But that would be so weird.." he shakes his head at your words "isn't it?".

"No if you would trust me as much as I trusted you, you gotta remember that you are the one who need this Y/N, I'm just trying to help" His hands wraps around your shoulders, make you hold a shiver that could run down your body. "Do you want to?" His eyes drilling holes into your soul, you could only nod at him and smile plastered his face.

"So..w-what should I do?" You look back at your lap, you're so embarrassed right now you can't even think straight.

"My eyes are right here love, now help me to remove my pants" he lifts your chin up again, and now your hands begin trailing his sweatpants as he move his hips up to make you remove the pants easier.

Now he's half naked, in front of you, on your bed and the night dress you are wearing is slutty enough for the man's view.

"Show me what you learned from those smuts you read love" You start to touch his dick, hold and experimentally stroke his dick. You could hear his breath hitched, it gains confident in you so you stroke it a bit faster makes him lets out a moan, you could feel yourself started getting wet.

"Good love, now try to use your mouth" You wet your lips then stick your tongue to lick on his shaft then roll your tongue on the head. A salty liquid appears you guess that is what's called a precum, you open your mouth and try to take his cock inside, take a look at Mingi make you moan at how good he looks right now. His head falls back to the headboard while his mouth wide open, the sweats rising on his forehead and chest going up and down at how hard he is breathing, when you taste the salty precum of his your moan send a vibration right into his dick then his right hand suddenly have a nice grip on your hair as he starts moving your head up and down his cock.

The more he moves your head the faster it become and deeper it gets down your throat, when you swallow your saliva that collected inside your mouth, his moan became louder then you do it repeatedly. His not gonna last and you know it, you could feel his cock pulsing against your lips then you could taste a really bitter liquid spurts out of his dick, he calls your name on repeat then you bob your head on his dick for about 4 times before you pull out.

When you watch porn or read smut, it looks so easy to swallow the cum but you can't seem to swallow it, Mingi noticed your panicked expression then quickly open your drawer to take 2 sheets of tissues then hold the tissue on his hand and put it near your lips "Sorry love, spit it out don't worry" instead of spit his cum out of your mouth, you stick out your tongue while look at him to give him a nice view of his cum trickle down your tongue and land on the tissue on his hands.

"Fuck you look so beautiful doing that, so pretty for me, so messy with my cum like that love" when his cum is all out of your mouth Mingi throw the tissue to the trash bin and hand you a glass of water. "Your throat might feel a bit rough, you gotta drink a lot " you nod as you do what he tells, you could still feel the taste of his cum washed by the water and crashing down your throat.

"Mingi..uhm, I think you caused me another problem" you cleared your throat then Mingi eyes went wide he thought he hurted you or something.

"What? Are you okay? Am I hurting your throat? Too big for your lips it hurts?" He ramble then you close his mouth with your index finger to shut him up.

"No, it's just.. I need you to..".

"To what? You want another glass of water? Or do you want a candy? Yeah? I have some in my room wait a seco-".

"I need to you fuck me Mingi! You moaned a lot when I suck you, you..make me kinda wet".

"Oh..you sure?" Mingi blinks multiple times when you finally stand up and kissed him, the kiss is slow and passionate, his hands begins to roams all over your body as you gasp onto his mouth.He lays you in your bed, pull up your night dress to reveal you are not wearing anything but only your panties inside the dress. "So beautiful for me love, bet you gonna touch yourself while imagine about me tonight if we don't fuck" he lowers himself until he's between your legs then he removes your panties in no time.

"I actually did, sometimes" he looks at your face at the words, he grips your thighs so hard you let out a hiss.

"You are really driving me insane my love, do you also write smut about me?" He opens your legs wide and place his face right in front of your bare pussy then blow on it, the action make you whimper above him. "I hope you could take a look at how wet you are love, eager for me to ruin your pretty little pussy, don't you?" He trails kisses on you inner thigh.

"Please Mingi..don't keep me waiting" you mewl then smile to him when he looks at your face, pushing his middle finger into your wet cunt make you gasp as he trusts it slowly inside you.

"You're not ready to take me yet my love, I gotta prepare you first" he trusts his finger faster and when you start to moan loudly he pull his finger out of you and lick them clean. "So sweet for me" you whimper at his action.

"Don't you wanna eat me out Mingi? Please do" smirk plastered on his face when you say the word, he lifts your legs until they touched your chest then he devour you immediately. Your eyes rolling back and your hand automatically get a grip on Mingi's hair as he growls into your pussy. He inserts his middle and ring fingers into your cunt then curling it up while his tongue doing a kitten lick on your clit, a fast kitten lick on your clit. "Fuck Mingi.. don't stop-mmh gonna..gonna cum" His index finger joins the other two fingers and he suck your clit make you scream as you cum so hard your body spasming and Mingi holds your hips down.

"Just like that love, let it out for me" he trails kisses on you cheeks and jawline until you stop shaking under him.He peels off his shirt then rubbing his cock on your clit, you let out whimpers because of the sensitivity "And from now on..fuck with me will be your new hobby, my dick is gonna be your fucking hobby" with that he enters himself inside you in one hard trust make you scream so loud. "Oh shoot, it hurts? Sorry, I'll pull it ou-".

"No please, just keep going" you breathed while holding into his arms, he nods at you then starts to move slowly. When your moans become louder he sped up his movement, "ah- fuck you feel so good Mingi, so big.." you moan uncontrollably.

"Yeah, you take me really well Y/N my love" his words sounds so sweet with the soft deep voice he lets out, but his grip on your waist and the way he's pistoning his hips so hard your tears start to gather at the corner of your eyes.

"Faster Mingi! Please make me cum please please fuckkk" Your eyes closed, whimpers and rambling flow out of your lips. You can hear his whisper, definitely sounds like he's begging you to cum. His movement become faster and faster, you lose it when he moves one of his hand and rubs your clit with two fingers that you assume it's his index and middle finger.

"Yes love..yes, fuck you are so so tight, so good for me, you are amazing baby" you cum for the second time, your legs feels like giving up but Mingi still thrust himself into you. "God.. I'll fucking give you what you want, I'll make you taste what you wanna fucking taste" it doesn't take him so long to cum inside you with sharp thrust that make you let out a choked moan. He pulled out make you whimper then go down on you to suck his cum out of your cunt.

"W-wait Mingi! What are you doing?!" You look down but he pays you no mind, when he finishes whatever he's doing he hovers over you and then give you an open mouthed kiss, your eyes open wide when you could taste a salty liquid over your tongue, when Mingi fills your mouth with all his cum he pulls off from the kiss then spit right into your tongue, he is doing a fucking cumplay and you know that.

"Now swallow it love, I know you can do it" You don't wanna swallow it, but the moment when Mingi spit into your mouth and the fact that your cum, his cum, your spit and his spit are mixed together make your head dizzy in a good way then you swallow it unwittingly and without hesitation, you show your tongue to him to proof that you have swallow all of it, his smirk grows. "You do really good for me love" he's keeping you in his embrace for a good half an hour. When he feels you dozed off, he give a light pat on your cheek you wake you up. "Don't sleep yet my love, we gotta clean you up first".

"I'm feel so tired Mingi, let me sleep" He lifts you up into his arms instead, but it's not like you're complaining tho. He takes you to your bathroom then put you inside the tub after he fills it with warm water.

He stokes your hair make you dozed off again, he giggles at the sight.

"What are you going to do without me, my love".

[god-has-entered-my-body]

What time you coming out? - M.H x Reader // pt.1

A/N: Lenas writer debut??? Omg??? This has a bunch of references to fics like the cellophane house (written by the lovely @vinylandcoffeecollection, srsly check out their work!). It's a bit angsty? Not really but angst will come this is a chaptered fic. Based off fallingforyou, hence the title. Thank you @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff for beta reading and putting up with me xx

wc: 11k

part two

February, 2008

“I'm not sure we should be doing this, neither of us is a professional hairdresser in any capacity” 

Mötley Crüe’s ‘Public Enemy #1’ blares through the small speaker set on top of the toilet lid, the music reverberating off the bathroom's tiled walls. Matty attempts to brush the bleach onto your hair, narrowly missing your eyebrow for what felt like the sixth time. You'd prefer to not come out of this situation looking like 90s madonna if you could help it. 

“Could you maybe not get the stuff on my face? I'm not sure I'd look as amazing as I do with bleached brows,” you say, flicking Mattys hand away from your hair, straightening your posture on top of the sink. Your elbow accidently knocks into the faucet and you curse out loud. 

“You're right love, you'd look well hideous without brows” Matty retorts, laughing in your face. He's right, doesn't mean he has to say it.

“At least I have any sort of eyebrows, I'd get yours filled in if I was you.” Now it's your turn to laugh at him, his jaw hitting the floor at your comment. He clutches his chest with his hand, bending over for dramatic effect as if to say: “You wound me”. You fall into each other's arms, fighting over the ipod once again.

The song changes, and Matty resumes his attempts at bleaching your hair properly, failing once again. It had been a stupid, stoned impulse decision to buy the bleach at all. The local drugstore sold it for cheap, and you had some pocket change on you. Matty wanted you to buy the red dye, and you dismissed him immediately, because even he knew you'd look absolutely terrible as a redhead. 

You hum along softly to David Bowie's “Suffragette City”. Bowie was your Idol. The song reminds you of him. Of Matty. It reminds you of when you first met.

—------------------------------------------------------

You were 15, pacing the street late at night, your boyfriend was blowing up your phone. Insincere apologies and “i love you”’s filled your screen. 4 missed calls. Tears were streaming down your face, making you not quite able to see straight. 

The song playing, was blaring in your headphones, almost deafening. The song didn't fit at all to your current situation, but that didn't bother you.

It wasn't long before you reached a bus stop, sitting down. You didn't even know where you were. 

Suddenly, like it was out of your control, you let out broken sobs, no longer silently crying. How fucking embarrassing.

You're not sure how long you’d been sitting there, in the dark, shivering in the cruel November weather. 

You hadn't even noticed the person walking up to you. 

He’d positioned himself in front of you, twisting his neck to get a look underneath your hood.

“You alright?” his voice sounded soft, concerned even. Through muffled sobs, you managed to look up at him. 

He had a thick, fluffy jacket on. Oddly feminine for bloke, and you were pretty sure it was a women's coat. It basically swallowed him whole. You almost laughed at the sight. It almost made you forget about the night's events. 

You’d had yet another fight with your boyfriend, Phillip. The two of you fought a lot, but never like this. Sure, he’d said some hurtful things, things you maybe shouldn't have forgiven as quickly as you did, but he had never, ever, gotten violent with you. Until tonight.

You'd barely registered it when it happened, your brain not properly processing his actions. In the midst of his screaming, he raised his hand. Raised. his. hand. 

It came down with a crash against your left cheek, the sound echoing through the house. Because he did, in fact, have his own flat. Because 24 year olds usually have that. 

Everything hit you at once. You'd managed to pick yourself up off the ground at a speed which would have given even world record holders a run for their money. You didn't bother grabbing anything else, you just needed to get out, now. 

You could faintly hear his voice calling out from behind you, begging you to please, please come back. And what? Let him put his hands on you again? No way. A rare moment of clarity.

Fucking cunt 

You’re brought back to reality by the sound of the stranger's voice. 

“I’m Matty.” he offered his hand, and you shook it. “What're you doing out here in the cold? Its fuckin’ freezing.” He's right, it was cold. It hadn't occurred to you to take your coat with you.

You stuttered out a pathetic response of your name, barely making eye contact with him. A few beats pass before Matty starts ruffling around in his coat pockets. Raising your eyebrows, you watch him.

You can hear the faint sound of keys in his right pocket, and it's not long before he pulls out a joint from his left. It looks crumpled and old, like it had been there for a while. 

“Spliff? It looks like you need it more than me.” He chuckles, and it somehow makes you feel better. He makes a move to sit next to you, and you twitch slightly when his shoulder touches yours. The bench is quite narrow, so you know it's not on purpose. It doesn't bother you quite as much as it should, given he is a stranger. 

He takes out his lighter. It looks old and used, the black plastic chipping off around the top. It looks like it's a miracle it even works. You can see white writing along the side of it. M.H. Initials? His initials? Matty H something.  

He starts burning the tip. Rotating the joint to get an even burn, you watch his movements closely, taking in some of his features. 

His hair was curly but frizzy, you could tell he didn't pay it much mind. His features seemed soft, almost feminine. He was clean shaven, his pale skin a stark contrast to the dark brown of his hair. 

Matty lets you take the first drag, stating “The first hit’s the best, and I've always been a gentleman”, flashing a grin your way. That made you laugh. You take a drag, letting the warm feeling spread through your body.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked timidly, his voice lowering. 

“Absolutely not.” You mutter, looking him straight in the eyes for what seems like the first time that night. A smile.  

—-------------------------------------------------------

“D’you think I'd look good as a blonde? I feel like I'd smash it,” Matty says, inspecting his hair in the mirror behind you. He has gorgeous locks, and you're constantly telling him to try and take care of them, he just doesn't listen. You study his features before giving him an answer.

“Maybe. Either that or you'd look like a bad hooker,” Matty gasps, shoving your shoulder in protest. The movement  makes your elbow bang against the faucet again, but you ignore the pain this time 

“I'll let you know i'd make an amazing hooker, thanks very much,” He proclaims quite loudly, making the both of you burst into a laughing fit. 

You take the brush from Matty, twirling in your hand. George had taught you how to do that. An idea pops into your head. 

“We could give you a few blonde highlights, just to try it out. There's no need for you to go full Elle Woods immediately” A giggle escapes your lips, picturing Matty with long, blonde hair. That’d be a sight. 

“Let's do it, right now,” he breathes, visibly excited.

“Really? Adam’d take the absolute piss out of you, you know.” Matty rolls his eyes obnoxiously before he speaks. “Well then let Adam hold on to his toxic ideas of masculinity, I need a change.” This piques your interest. Matty? Need a change? Weird. 

“What, did some bird break your heart this time? That's new, even for you Matthew,”

You can see him visibly cringe at your use of his full name. You know he hates it, and that is exactly why you do it. Getting a rise out of him is your favorite pastime. 

“Switch with me then,” you say, and he obliges, letting you hop off the counter. You mix up a new batch of bleach and part off his hair into small sections. Little pink hair bands hold his curls in place. You shoot him a look and he nods, giving you the go-ahead. The bleach goes on smoothly, your practiced hand much less prone to mistakes than Mattys.

It doesn't take long before you're both sitting on your bed with foils in your hair. You manage to snap a picture of Matty on your polaroid camera. The light reflects off the foils, distorting the picture slightly. Matty demands to see it, but you decide to keep it for yourself. Can't get everything you want.  

It's Mattys' turn on the music. 

You've decided on a turn system for music when you're together, to avoid the gnarly fights you used to have over who gets to control the ipod.

He picks the latest Deftones album. It's not really your taste, and you tell him as much. 

“S’not my fault your music taste consists of pop trash. Get well soon”, now it's your turn to shove him, and he almost falls off the bed. Your fights over music happened frequently. He insisted on listening to real music, while you couldn't care less if it sounded good. 

The timer dings and you both get up to wash your hair in the sink. Water splashes everywhere, absolutely soaking the bathroom. You don't care. It's just water. 

Towels litter the bathroom floor, soaking up the mess. Matty helps you dry your hair after you promise to help with his. The warm air feels nice on your neck. 

“I like it, it makes me look camp,” Matty states, admiring himself in the mirror. Of course he'd say something like that. 

“You look great, now get dressed, I've messaged Hann. He's picking us up at half 11” 

Adam was one of your best mates, and the only one who had a car. You and Matty were still in school, along with George, another one of your friends. Adam and Ross shared a flat on the outskirts of the city. Adam's mother had gifted him a car for his 18th birthday last year. A bright red Kia. Bumper stickers littered the back, your favorite reading ‘Vehicle of legends” 

Matty had borrowed one of your tops, specifically, a mesh top you'd gotten from Hollister a few weeks prior. It was adorned with a black tank top underneath, paired with the black skinny jeans you're convinced have fused with his legs at this point. 

His hair had dried, dark curls now in contrast with blonde streaks. They framed his face. He looked good. 

You’d gone for a more colorful ensemble, opting for baggy jeans instead of skinny ones. The bottom had already been well ripped up from years of dragging them on the ground. You paired said jeans with a wine-red off the shoulder jumper, the black strap of your bralette peaking out. You’d always loved that color. It reminded you of your favorite flowers, red roses.

The window closed softly, and you silently thanked God you lived on the first floor. Adam was already parked down the road from your house, impatiently waiting for the two of you. The radio was playing as you got in. Matty immediately started going on about how pop music has ruined the music scene and how it was all 'soulless, meaningless droning' and 'had no feeling anymore'. He always did this, and you'd learned to tune it out by then. 

The drive was short, and you arrived at your destination not long after you’d set off. The air smelled like water and wet pavement. It had been pissing down earlier in the day.  

‘The spot’ was an abandoned paper factory, affectionately renamed “Caroline's house” for any eavesdropping parents.  

Carolines had been abandoned for well over 5 years before you started hanging out there, not many knew about it.

The three of you had already made your way through the back entrance. The front had been blocked off years ago, a futile attempt at keeping kids out. There was one specific room you always went to, and that was the office. It had a huge terrace with an amazing view of the city below. The glowing lights made you feel small and irrelevant in the vastness of the world. 

The night was bright under the full moon, making it easy to see outside. Adam always brought an emergency flashlight with him when you went to Carolines. He was the voice of reason in the midst of the chaos. The responsible one. He always made sure everyone got home safe, talked your way out of situations with coppers on multiple occasions, and knew when to tell the bartender to switch drinks to water or juice. You’d always thank him the morning after. 

“What even is your shirt, mate,” Adam asked with a grin on his face. He loved to take the piss out of Matty for his camp-ness. No harm no foul, Matty would do the exact same to him when the opportunity presented itself. Eyeing him up and down, he shook his head and went back to picking at his nails.   

“She let me borrow it for tonight. Looks good, yeah?” Matty shoots back. 

“Yeah sure, that and those white streaks in your hair make you look like a proper girl, you know” 

You have to laugh at his statement, because it does ring true. From a certain distance, anyone could mistake Matty for a woman. 

“You wish I was a girl, it’d make you feel less guilty about your sex fantasies, innit?” Matty cackles at his own words. Adam chucks a lighter at him, and misses. It instead bounces off the railing of the terrace and clatters down onto the ground somewhere behind you. 

That was your cue to take out the small baggy from the pocket of your jeans. Going to look for the lighter Adam had just thrown, you turn around to see he’d already snatched your papes and weed, and started to roll a spliff. 

“Oh come on, I look away for a second and you steal my weed. What, are you too broke to buy your own?” You huffed, sitting down on the floor next to him. 

“Girls don't roll their own spliffs. You should know that by now, love” he said with a wink. 

Cue eye roll. 

“Oh thank you so much, what would I ever do without you, Hann? Fuck off.” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. This was never a display of chivalry, it was simply Adams' way of trying to get under your skin. Your stubborn self wouldn't let him, of course. Flashing him an award winning smile, you lay back on your elbows and eye him as he rolls your joint for you. 

Matty was preoccupied with gathering enough cardboard so he could sit on the floor comfortably. The three of you couldn't be arsed bringing in furniture from the office, so you were left with the cold, unforgiving concrete floor of the terrace to sit on. 

The minutes ticked by and Adam took his sweet time, presenting the spliff with a look of pride. You reach for it, seeing as you already had the lighter in your hand. Instead of handing it to you. Adam shakes his head. 

“Girls dont light their own spliffs, either” You scoff at that, though deciding against smacking him upside the head. You hand him the lighter.  

Mattys giggles can be faintly heard over your bickering, and Adam finally lights up. The distinct earthy smell fills up the air around you. They both let you have the first drag, stating something along the lines of “Ladies first” another eye roll.  

“Fucking wankers”, you mutter under your breath, and finally, you inhale. It hits you almost immediately, a soft, fuzzy feeling that reverberates through your veins into every inch of your body. The two of them let out a laugh at your expression, utterly euphoric. 

Adam takes the next drag, hitting him just as hard as it did you. He leans against the glass sliding door, letting his eyes droop closed. 

“Fucking hell, this is some strong weed.” He lets out a rough cough, “Where’d you even get it from?” 

“Oh y’know, just some guy. Same as always I s’pose,” 

Matty spoke “What, d’you shag him or something? No one just gives out this type of premium stuff on a whim,” 

This makes you chuck the grinder at him. It hits him square in the chest. You hum contentedly, grinning at him in amusement when he doubles over in pain. You bicker back and forth, calling each other names. Adam passes the spliff back to you, and you take another hit. 

Time passes slowly. The clouds slowly reveal more and more of the full moon. It is quite beautiful tonight, you notice. 

Adam produces a bottle of tequila from his ‘gay-ass tote bag’ as Ross calls it. You take turns taking swigs straight from the bottle, Matty managing to spill some onto his mesh top, making quite literally everything reek of alcohol.

You felt good. The high mixed with the healthy amount of tequila made you feel like you were floating. You could tell Matty was just as hammered as you, seeing as he was now straddling Adams lap, trying to kiss him. 

After multiple attempts at getting him off, Matty stood up on his own, stating that he didn't want Hann to pop a boner au cause de his womanly features.   

The three of you laugh and laugh until you finish the spliff. You’d never had a good tolerance for anything, whether it be weed or alcohol. You weren't particularly small, it just always hit you way harder than Adam or Ross. Even Matty managed to pull himself together when the situation called for it. You, however, were stumbling and tripping over your feet the entire walk home. It had been pissing down the entire morning. Puddles littered the streets, not an ideal weather for someone who was too wasted to even have any sort of depth perception.  

Adam had to leave suddenly, picking up a last minute shift at the shop he worked at. It was in the opposite direction of where you came from, leaving you and Matty to walk home. 

It wasn't a long walk, 30 odd minutes or so. It was made significantly longer by your inability to walk in a straight line to save your life. Echoing laughs filled the streets as Matty helped you trudge along. Your pants dragged on the floor as usual, which meant they were also dragging through the numerous puddles, soaking them. 

You stop suddenly, looking down and pouting at the darkened material of your pants. For some inexplicable reason, this made you stomp your feet like a child. Matty broke out in uncontrollable laughter, tears forming in his eyes. You were actually acting like a child.

“I don't know why you insist on wearing those insanely baggy pants. Look at me! My pants don't get wet AND my ass looks phenomenal in skinny jeans” He twirls around you, making you feel slightly dizzy.

“Oh fuck off!! Not everyone is an attention slag like you, have some decency for once in your life!” You retort, shoving him out of your line of sight. Due to your state, Matty quickly catches up to you. 

The steps of your house come quicker than expected. Both of you make your way to the east side of the first floor, where your bedroom window remains slightly ajar. You'd wedged an old shirt between it to keep it from closing all the way. You'd gotten sneaking out down to an art, always knowing when, where and how. Your mother had caught you once. It was your first time. You knew not to make those same mistakes again.

Matty helped you hop onto the windows ledge, his hands grabbing at your sides. While he looked frail, Matty was actually quite strong, lifting you up without breaking a sweat. 

You're sitting on the edge, slightly taller than him now. Peering down, you reach your arms out. The two of you hugged tightly, whispering quiet “goodnight”s and “sleep well”s. Saying goodbye after a night out often felt strangely melancholic, you never wanted the other to leave. 

You've been attached at the hip since that night. He’d convinced you to break up with Phillip, stating he was a bastard who shouldn't be allowed near women ever again.

Matty went on to introduce you to his mates after you’d found out you went to the same highschool. That was nearly 3 years ago now. 

Late nights often make you wonder what would have happened if you hadn't gone to that specific bus stop and met Matty. If he had ignored your crying instead of offering you weed and sitting down next to you. He’d always been charming, like a magnet, he attracted everyone around him. Sure, he was a bit pretentious at times, but everyone has their faults. 

You roll over and try to sleep, slowly coming down from your high. You made a mental note to take it easy next time, maybe pace yourself. It was hard to know your limits when it came to substances, and Matty was the same way. Adam was the ever responsible one, never too drunk or high, always the parent. You were grateful for him, knowing what situations you'd be stuck in if Adam had not been there to smooth things over. 

The tiredness hits you in waves. Glancing at the clock left of your desk, it read 3:26 am. Fuck. You try to ignore the fact that you had to be up in about 4 hours. You close your eyes, welcoming the rest. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A harsh knocking sounded from the direction of your window, scaring the shit out of you. You bolt up, pissed at the disturbance. Turning to face the window, and are met with a familiar grin. Matty. 

It takes all of 5 seconds of him being in your room before you start cursing at him for waking you up like that. He simply shrugs his shoulders and sits in his designated chair. A maroon sofa chair in the corner in front of your bed. It even has M.H carved into the wood, because Matty had some sort of fetish for carving his initials into things. A sign of ownership? It made you wonder. 

Shuffling around the room, you kick your still wet jeans off into the corner, instead picking up a denim skirt. You’d wanted to wear that same red top to school, but seeing as you had fallen asleep wearing it, you chucked it into the same corner as the pants. 

A pink baby tee caught your eye from the chair Matty was sitting in. You silently point at it and he passes it to you. This isn't the first time you've changed in front of him. It didn't happen often, but what was the point of kicking him out? It's not like he was actively staring anyway.

After quickly changing, you go to put on some makeup. Makeup made you feel pretty, pretty enough to go outside. The only person who sees your bare face regularly is Matty. Maybe George. You didn't go anywhere without it.

You can feel Matty looking at you from the corner of your eye. Raising your eyebrows at him, you ask him what he's staring at. 

“D’you reckon i can try some of that?” he gestures vaguely at the eyeshadow brush in your hand “I think i’d look class with my new highlights.” he twirls his hair around his finger, giving you a look.

You look at him skeptically, before breaking out into a smile. Matty smiles back. It's not long before he’s sat in front of you, wincing whenever the brush makes contact with his eyelid. You tell him hes just not used to it, and to just stay still, for fucks sake. 

Once you're done, you take a step back to admire your work. You have to admit, he looks good. Really good. His eyes were lined with a dark purple shadow, making them appear slightly bigger. He takes his fingers, slightly smudging the out corners, giving him a catty look. 

“I think you might even look even better than me,” you say, looking him up and down. This is one of those rare moments where you can't read Mattys' expression at all. Finally, he opens his mouth

“No one could look better than you, trust me,”  

A beat of silence before he speaks again

“I do look ravishing though, d’you reckon Adam'll like this more than the highlights?” He always manages to make himself laugh. Then in typical Matty fashion, he pulls out a beat up looking joint from the pocket of his too tight jeans. 

“Fancy a spliff?” 

“Matty, for christ's sake, we have school in about an hour, and you want to smoke now?” 

“It's the only true way to get through Mr. Henderson's maths class, you know it'll be unbearable if we don't.” translation: please smoke with me. He gives you a look, because you know he's right. 

It was too late to protest. He’d already made his way to open your window, knowing how much you hate stinking up your room.

An exasperated sigh leaves your lips, and you find your place next to him. 

The wind and rain had calmed down, so Matty had no difficulty lighting it. The smell filled your senses, almost overwhelming you. You were thankful for the fresh air.

He placed the spliff between your lips, watching you intently as you inhaled. Your orange lip gloss had rubbed off the filter, and transferred onto his lips. The weed wasnt as strong as last nights, but still, the sight of Mattys glossed lips made you break out into a fit of giggles. Time seemed irrelevant up until the point you had to run to catch your bus. Sweaty and out of breath, you sat down in your usual spot. 

You can hear comments and insults being thrown at Matty from the back of the bus, but neither of you paid much mind. Matty was high as a kite, and too loopy (hungover) from the previous night to offer up one of his witty retorts. Instead, both of you gave them the bird from over the seat.

Matty was leaning against you, his arms hooked into yours. Neither of you spoke, listening to the soft rumbling of the bus. You stank of weed, anyone could smell it on you. Remembering a perfume bottle in your handbag, you take it out and douse yourself, as well as Matty in it. 

“Oh for fucks sake, now everything smells like Jimmy Choo Illicit!” Matty whined, burying his head in his hands. “Couldn't you have picked a manlier perfume? I'm already walking a very thin line with all of this” He vaguely gestures to himself. 

“Would you rather get kicked out after coming to school smelling like a fucking dispensary? Think ahead, Matthew!” He cringes visibly

“No need to get out the full government name, jesus” he shuffles up against you, and you can see his eyes are a light shade of red. There's no way the two of you would get through first lesson unnoticed. 

George was already waiting for you guys at your stop. Greeting him with a hug, you try to avoid eye contact, yet somehow, he knows. 

“Hey, you alright-?” He cranes his neck to get a better look at your face 

“Are you–? Are you high??” He laughs out loud, smacking your arm to stabilize himself. You shoot him a death stare, but you can feel a laugh coming too. Matty let out a sarcastic haha before kicking George as a way to say get on with it, we have class.

The walk to the room through the sea of people in the halls feels like a claustrophobic hell. B.O ridden teenagers rub up against the three of you, some even (quite violently) shoving past. 

It's a miracle you make it without Matty losing his mind at one of the hecklers. School was actual hell for Matty, and by proxy, you. Insults were thrown at him without a second thought, and the makeup he’d adorned today surely didn't help the comments.

He never let it truly get to him. He didn't care, and that's what you loved so much about him. This part of the city was set back about fifteen years in terms of acceptance and progressivity, so his flowery backpack and femininity wasn't exactly welcomed.

Adam had always taken the piss out of him for his outfits since they were boys, but he never, ever meant it seriously. They were like brothers, those two, and no amount of shit from other people (irrelevants, as Matty would put it) would be able to break them apart. 

The way the room was set up, there were six tables of four, with two people always facing another two. You had sat in the seat next to George, with Matty sitting (well, more like laying) across the other two chairs opposite you. Mr. Henderson had given up on trying to get Matty to sit right a long time ago, instead just flat out ignoring him. It was always easier to fail than to teach. 

“Fucking poofter, that one,” you can hear someone saying from behind you. You know they mean Matty. 

Matty blows them both a kiss before getting flipped off by the shorter one. He loved taking the piss out of the people who insulted him, throwing them off. 

George questions mattys makeup, and you tell him it was his idea. George had always supported Matty, using his insanely tall stature to fend off anyone giving him a hard time. 

The lesson was going by at a snail's pace, with Matty being his usual self, interrupting at every possible moment. It was so obvious he was off his tits, and Mr. Henderson looked suspicious. A particularly loud laugh from George had prompted him to throw you all out. You couldn't care less, getting up immediately.

Matty picked up his things from the floor, making a show out of bending over in front of the two boys that had insulted him earlier. They both scrunch their faces in disgust, muttering under their breaths. A giggle escapes you as they stare daggers.

“Fucking cunt,” one of them says, and now it’s your turn to blow them a kiss. 

The three of you trudge down the halls, slowly but surely coming down from your highs. George suggests going to Ross and Adams flat, seeing as it's just a few bus stops away from the school. They share a flat above a Sainsburys, which is optimal for late night munchies. Adam even works there, so there's always opportunities to sneak a packet of crisps or a can of cola. 

The bus stinks of sweat and mildew, as did all buses in britain. You get used to the stench after a while, your legs propped up onto George and Mattys laps. The back seat was always your favorite, giving you ample space to stretch a bit. You and George share headphones while Matty takes a quick power nap. He always lets you pick the music, and today it was Radioheads ‘No Surprises’. The music plays softly as buildings and trees pass by the window. The day was quite sunny, the light reflecting off of the windows of houses and offices. You'd sobered up enough to be able to think clearly by now. 

These days were the best. They felt calm, like you could forget every other fucked up thing in your life. Your mother, your coursework. Nothing else existed in your little bubble except the people you were with. It felt peaceful, like a breath of fresh air. 

Matty stirred awake as the bus halted to a stop, yawning for dramatic effect. He loved to exaggerate, ever the performer. George was the quiet, brooding type, trying desperately to go unnoticed, which proved rather difficult. Although he was barely coming up on his 18th birthday, he had grown to a staggering 6 '4, with a voice at least 3 or so octaves deeper than Mattys. 

It had proven useful, you aways had someone to send into the smoke shop to buy fags or liquor, even if it always took a pep talk to even get him through the front door. George was convinced he didn't look older, even though he had never been carded. Ever. 

Usually it was Adam who bought it for you, even though both Matty and Ross were also already 18. Matty had already been banned from most liquor stores in the area, so he proved rather useless in situations needing a bit of booze. 

Mattys violent knocks against the flat door brought you back to reality

“C’MON OPEN UP ITS US,” his voice booms through the hallway. You can hear banging and shuffling coming from the other side of the door. It's so obviously Ross bumping into every available surface because he hadn't turned on the light yet. He was an avid day sleeper, mostly working night shifts. A particularly loud crash is followed by glass breaking. 

Matty taps his foot impatiently, waiting for the door to finally open. Ross emerges, looking disgruntled and tired of Mattys shit. 

“Mate, tell me, what possessed you to come knocking about at this hour, don't you have school-? I swear you're going to be the end of me one day” he rubs his eyes, getting the sleep out of them before moving out of the way to let the three of you in. 

“First of all, it's like 11am, so not exactly the ungodly hour you were describing,” Matty starts “Second of all, we’ve been kicked out of class, so where better to come than here?” 

The inside of the flat reeks of cigarettes and laundry detergent. Ross refuses to smoke on the terrace, deeming it too cold even in the middle of summer. Adam always smokes on the terrace, scared of staining the walls like in those addiction documentaries. A futile attempt, but at least he tries. Matty immediately lights a fag, sighing happily when the nicotine hit his system. School had always been an endurance test for him. Getting him to sit still for 2 hours without going for a cigarette proved nearly impossible. He was already itching by the 45 minute mark.

“What did you even do to get kicked out before 12?” He looks at George, who tells him exactly what happened with tears of laughter in his eyes. Matty rolls his before sitting down on the comforter located to the left of the TV, ashing into one of the various ashtrays situated around the house. George sits on the sofa next to Ross, and you make your way to your favorite spot, the table. Sitting cross legged on the table made you all face each other, which you quite liked. 

“Brew?” George asks, looking up from his Ipod. Everyone nods, and he gets up to put on the kettle. Idle conversation fills the air, and Matty starts chatting about the new “groundbreaking” Metallica album. Matty was, if anything, a music snob. No one could stop him raving on about albums or artists, whether he was praising or criticizing them. Once he started, you couldn't stop him to save your life.

Minutes tick past when George brings back mugs of tea. Mattys mug has got the words “I ❤️ cum” on it. Ross has his usual Macclesfield Town mug, and you and George have the plain green ones Adam bought in an attempt to make the flat seem somewhat civilized. 

Hours pass and Matty finally shuts up. You end up on top of him, sitting on the arms of the comforter. You're all watching Skins on the telly, and Mattys hand makes its way to your back, keeping you steady. He’d always been touchy like that, so it didn't bother you. You look at the sofa and see Ross passed out, drooling onto George's jumper. George, polite as ever, lets him sleep. It was a miracle Ross hadn't started snoring already. 

You suggest to Matty that maybe it was time to get going, seeing as you lived on the other side of the city. George's place was right around the corner, so he decided to stay and look after Ross a bit before Adam got home from his shift. Britain's sweetheart. 

Getting up as quietly as possible, making your way towards the door. Ross stirs as Matty almost knocks over his mug. The two of you make eye contact, silently laughing at Ross’ position, basically on top of George. He flipped you off, rolling his eyes and reaching for the remote, turning down the telly.

It was still fairly dark inside, so gathering everything proved a bit of a challenge. The curtains were drawn shut, the yellow material of them painting the house in a warm yellow hue. 

You had spotted Mattys flowery bag in the corner next to the stove, and grabbed it along with a bottle of cola that was set on top of the kitchen counter. Hydration was important, after all, even if you knew Adam would be livid that you were stealing his shit again. What are mates for?    

Matty grabbed both of your coats, mouthing “lets go,” before making his way towards the front door. 

The bright light of the hallway burns your eyes. How do they survive coming out here when that fucking flat is always so dark? You think to yourself. You wonder if Ross has a vitamin D deficiency from the inherent lack of sunshine in his life, yourself excluded. 

The bus ride home is rowdier, filled with kids from surrounding schools. The both of you hid in a corner towards the front, away from the dickheads that usually sat in the back row. You were both too tired to deal with anyone but each other. 

He was right, everything did smell like jimmy choo now, and maybe you shouldn't have sprayed so much. 

His hand wanders to his eyes, rubbing a bit of the eyeshadow off.

“Does it still look alright?” he asks, looking up from your lap. It had smudged a bit, melted off after a full day of wear. It's not like you used your expensive waterproof stuff, after all.

“You look fine, pretty actually,” You give him a tired smile, stroking his hair absentmindedly 

“Can you even call a guy pretty? Isn't that, like, inherently degrading?” Matty mutters, a grin spreading onto his face. 

“It's only degrading if you let it be. You Matthew Healy, are pretty. Pretty like a girl” 

A laugh escapes you, imagining Matty as a woman. Knowing him, he’d be into it. 

“Does it bother you? Y’know, me being feminine and wearing makeup.” The question surprises you. It's a rare thing seeing Matty this vulnerable. He doesn't care what other people think, but he does care what you think. 

“You know I don't care, I actually prefer you this way.” you assure him.

“Though it's still my mission to convince you that the backpack is not the move you think it is.” 

That earns you a frown from Matty. “It is! I'll let you know the lady at the store told be it very in this time of year” its always funny watching him get defensive over his fashion choices, even if he knows he’s fucked up and its hideous. 

“Yeah maybe it's trendy... for 8 year old girls! But you do you mate, don't let me judge you,” that gets you an elbow to the gut. 

The walk home is one you always take together. Arms hooked into each other, walking, sharing headphones. It's your turn on the music, putting on ‘This Charming Man’ by the smiths. 

“You know, Morrissey sort of reminds me of you. You're really similar in your campness”  Matty choked on air, shooting you a faux offended look. 

“Did you seriously call Morrissey camp? He'd have your head for that.” 

“You're both attention slags, so there's at least one similarity.” Matty doesn't say anything, knowing your words do, in fact, ring true. Matty loves attention, and man, is good at getting it. 

He draws people to him like moths to a flame. Always the loudest, always the most interesting. 

That one saying; “You can't be the prettiest girl at the party, but you always be the drunkest” is a personification of Matty. He tips back wine glass after wine glass, not caring about the stains on his shirt or the red ring around his lips. He then makes it a poor Hanns job to make sure he doesnt get into a scrap with three much bigger guys (which actually did happen last summer outside of a pub in london. Matty got out scot free, while Adam nearly suffered a heart attack). 

You hug Matty goodbye, giving him a peck on the cheek. 

You always dreaded coming home. 

They say your biggest critic is your mind, but yours was your mother. You knew she had already gotten a call from the school saying you cut class. The moment you stepped into the living room, the yelling started. “How can you do this” and “What are you even doing with your life” turned into “Look at yourself, you look like a whore and you're going to school like that?” or “Were you out with that little gay boyfriend of yours again?”

You try to tune it out, not letting it get to you. She's been like that for as long as you can remember, never letting up for even just a second. You weren't the best kid, but she sure isn't helping you “get on the right track” as she liked to say.

Tears well up in your eyes when you finally shut your bedroom door. Your first instinct is to call Matty. He picks up after two rings, immediately hearing the quiver in your voice. 

He tells you he’ll be there as soon as he can. 

Minutes pass by slowly until you hear a familiar, although uncharacteristically soft, knock at your window. Matty.

Your puffy eyes meet his and he can tell you’d been crying. No words were exchanged as he took you into your arms, his hands soothingly stroking your hair as you let out muffled sobs into his chest. It broke his fucking heart to see you like this. You were extensions of each other, the others' pain was always your own.    

“It's all so shit. Why cant she just be normal one fucking time.” your voice audibly shakes, partially out of anger and partially out of exasperation. 

“I know i suck, I know I'm a bad daughter but-,” Matty cuts you off. “You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” His words only make you cry harder. 

He holds you close, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, the sound of his voice similar to the way he spoke to you that night. His hands feel cold against your skin, and you know he’d rushed to your house without grabbing his coat. You look up at him, seeing his hair was unruly, curls falling into his face. The blonde highlights littered his dark hair and he ran his hand through them, brushing them to the side to get a better look at you. 

“D’you want to sit down? We can listen to music. Whatever you want, and won't even comment on how shit it is, promise,” He knew you didn't want to talk about it then, you never did.  

You sit in silence, your face still in his chest, staining the light blue material of his shirt. You quietly apologize, knowing how much he loves that shirt. He tells you to shut up, and that it didn't matter. 

He had gotten it in Barcelona at some tourist shop for 50 quid. Insane price for a tshirt that just said “Barcelona” on it, but he held it dear to his heart. It reminded him of his childhood summers. 

“There's a bottle of um…,” you trail off, gesturing to the second drawer of your nightstand. Matty understands, and reaches over you to open it. The drawer is filled with half eaten granola bars, bracelets, jewelry, the odd vape for when it was too cold to go outside. Matty always took the piss out of you for having them, saying they were ‘so fucking girly it hurt’. After a second of rummaging, he took out a half drunk bottle of Bacardi. It always sat in your nightstand for when you needed it, and you definitely needed it now. 

“Only you'd have a giant bottle of rum in your nightstand,” Matty says softly, searching your expression. The corners of your mouth tug upwards at his words, and you crack a smile.   

He opens it for you, and grabs an abandoned cup from your desk. The cup he had gifted you on your 17th birthday. It was covered in flowers and stars, very Matty. Very you. Pouring a healthy amount into the glass, he hands it to you.  

“To shitty situations” He raises it, clinking it against your cup. He takes a swig straight from the bottle. You down the whole thing in one go, wincing as the alcohol burns down your throat. 

“You feel better?” he asks, pouring more into your cup. You nod, before taking another drink. “I just need to get drunk and forget,” you sigh. Matty starts to speak again.

“That's an unhealthy way to go about it. Soon enough I'll be picking you up from corners because you can't handle your liquor. It's a recipe for alcoholism, innit?” you cackle at his words prompting Matty to raise his eyebrows at you.  

“Oh come off it!,” How many times have you been so drunk you couldn't find your own dick if you tried. Sort yourself out before criticizing my drinking habits.” you scoff  

You decide ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis is the right soundtrack for the night. You lay down next to Matty, your shoulders and thighs touching each other. You look up fondly at the dozens of yellow stars littering your ceiling. Reminiscent of your early childhood, you couldn't bear to take them down. You still felt like a child, your heart yearning for the same innocence you no longer possessed. A distinct naïveté you missed dearly. After your breakup with Phillip you'd realized that the world wasn't all it was cut out to be. People wanted, and they took. It didn't matter to them if they hurt others, because as long as they were satiated, nothing else mattered. 

You turn to your left, draping your arm over Mattys stomach. He let out a deep breath, raising his right arm to draw light circles onto your back. His nails had grown out longer than usual, but the sharpness of them was comforting through the thin material of your tank top. The edge of your small twin bed dug into your back. 

The two of you laid like that for hours before sleep took over your body. The stars on the ceiling blurred as your eyes started to shut. You let out a soft hum, settling into Matty even more, holding him close.

You don't know how long he stayed, but he was gone when you woke up. You feel a sticky note attached to your forehead, the glue rubbing off on your skin. You could barely read Mattys erratic handwriting. The note read: you fell asleep, hope your hangover isn't as bad as mine. left you some Advil on your dresser xx. 

Your hand reached next to you, feeling two tablets. You wash them down with water from the sink. Your cell phone lights up with a text from George 

“We’re meeting at Hanns flat, be there in 30,”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The windows were rolled up, trapping the smoke inside. Your eyes were glazed over, barely able to make out Ross’ face in front of you. Watching as Matty took another hit, you made a ‘give it here’ motion at the zoot, prompting him to hand it to you. Rhianna blared through the radio, a far cry from Adams usual taste in music, but no one seemed to care. Even Matty had managed to keep his mouth shut, instead moving his head in time with the music. 

Adam was sitting in the driver's seat, as always. He’d never let anyone else drive his girl, not even Ross. He was insanely protective over his car, even if it was an old piece of junk. 

George was in the passenger seat, holding a pink, polka dotted ashtray in his hand. The colorful ceramic proved quite the contrast against his dark clothes and messy blonde hair. It was a gift from his older sister, and the only ashtray he ever used. 

You were perched in the middle seat, your elbows on the console between Adam and George. Matty sat on your right, and Ross on your left.  

“No joke, I once had a bird offer to give me a footjob. Can you imagine that?” Adam spoke loudly, almost too loud. Ross let out a disgusting snort, the mental image of Adam getting a footjob making him properly lose it. You make a face. 

“That can't feel good at all, innit? Aren't the soles of feet rough?” you ponder. “Only if you have George's hobbit feet, that is,” Matty said, ducking to avoid yet another lighter being chucked at him. You were going to run out of lighters at this rate. 

“I'll show you hobbit feet you fucking cunt,” George retorted, sticking out his tongue like a child.

“I had a girl once who wanted me to properly bite down on her nipples, like hard. Can't imagine how much that would've hurt.” you share. She’d been quite the odd one up until she was in your bed, so you were already expecting some sort of weird kink. Nipple biting was definitely not on that list. Not that you were kink shaming.  

George spoke first: “What d’you mean girl? You're telling me you've been with girls?” You raise your eyebrows at him. “Erm, yeah? Didn't I tell you-?” Everyone shook their heads except Matty. You had already told him this story months before, the both of you laughing at your misfortune. Smiling at the fond memory, you meet Ross’ eye. 

“We didn't know you were like, proper gay,” he says quietly, not wanting to sound abrasive. You suck in a deep breath before answering. “I'm not proper anything, and besides,” you point at Matty sitting next to you, “This one’s snogged loads of blokes.”  A collective “What???” fills the car, with everyone's eyes now on Matty. 

“What if I have? It's not my job to notify you of all my sexual endeavors, innit?” Matty looks slightly uncomfortable, giving you a look. You frown at him, and he shakes his head. Slight signs of a smile linger on his face. It's fine he mouths at you, resting his arm on your shoulder. 

The three of them talk loudly over each other, with Ross asking some very explicit questions on the mechanics of gay sex. 

“How do you even, like, properly shag? It's not like you have anything you can shove into the other girl,” Jesus christ. 

Matty taps Ross’ shoulder, bringing the attention to his hands. He brings them up to his mouth, sticking his tongue out between the V-shape his fingers had made. Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, the whole demonstration makes Ross visibly cringe. 

The car suddenly starts. Adam makes the short drive to Carolines, stating that the hotbox was getting to be too much for him. George has a go at his age, calling him an old man. Hann was in fact, about 2 and a half years older than George, and a solid year older than the rest of you. Old man was right. 

You had rolled down the window on Mattys side, hoping some fresh air would help Adams driving skills. The erratic swerving had begun to make you sick. 

Finally trugding up the stairs to the terrace, Matty says something about it being too fucking cold. Ross says “That's the price of being built like a male Kate Moss,” and Matty nearly shoves him down the stairs. 

It is colder than usual, and you had opted for a dark gray zip up, the material hugging you tightly. You were pretty sure it was Mattys. A pair of green wash jeans hung low, revealing the lightning bolt tattoo on your right hip bone. It was a copy of Bowie's on the cover of ‘Aladdin Sane’. You had gotten it done by another one of your mates, Rome, who was an aspiring tattoo artist. It looked a bit shit, the lines slightly crooked, but it was yours. 

You had convinced George and Ross to carry the sofa from the office onto the terrace. They were the tallest and strongest, and Mattys arms would have snapped like twigs if he tried to carry anything, you said to them. George laughed his octave defying laugh, while Ross let out an annoyed grunt, shoving past you. 

Adam was right behind them, carrying a small wooden coffee table. “For you- I know how much you hate sofas,” he says quietly. You called him a softy, but inevitably thanked him for bringing it out. He had his rare sweet moments, and you appreciate them 

Once you had all settled, you took out your tobacco and papes, starting to roll your first cigarette of the night. You honestly needed a break from all the weed, because jesus. 

Matty let out a groan, taking the piss out of you for bringing all that instead of just buying industrials. 

“I know you think you're better than us for rolling, it's quite pretentious.” he sucks in a breath before talking, moving his hands erratically “Don't tell me it ‘tastes better’ because that's simply bollocks, it all tastes the same!” 

“Pretentious? Her? That's rich coming from someone who raves on about William Burroughs like anyone knows who is!” Matty looks hurt, and you give Ross a look that says you really don't know who William Burroughs is?

The conversation continued without you, too preoccupied with rolling to add anything. All was well until George decided to open his giant mouth again. 

“If you're not fully gay,” he started, “how do we know you're not secretly crushing on any of us?” he raised his eyebrows, looking at you expectantly.

You let out a snort, it slowly morphing into laughter until you look at him, his expression deadly serious. 

“You can’t actually mean that?” your voice is slightly hoarse. “For all we know, you could be harboring secret affection for Matty with the amount of times you’ve slept in the same bed.” 

Mattys perks up at this, shooting George a glare that could kill a man. He told him??? 

You don't know what came over you. Maybe it was the weed, maybe you were just groggy from the lingering hangover. You lick the cig closed, setting down next to the others. Uncrossing your legs, you get up and walk towards Matty. You can see the grin plastered onto his face, and he is definitely not sober.

You stumbled over Adam's foot, kicking it out of the way. Ross moved away from Matty, giving you some space. 

The terrace was dark, but the moonlight illuminated some of Mattys features. Specifically, his eyes. They seemed to glow, following your every step toward him. I'll show you secret affection you thought to yourself when your hand made contact with Mattys face. The stubble on his chin scratched your fingers. He never could grow a beard, and the faint shadow was as long as it would get. 

He sat with his legs spread, skin peaking out through the single rip in his jeans. His arms rested on the sofas back, splaying out to the side. He wore a black v-line jumper, the knit of it almost see-through.  

The makeup from the previous day was still smudged on his face, giving him a rockstar-esque look. The eyeshadow framed his eyes, glittering in the faint light. Your hands cupped his face, lightly stroking his jaw. The grin had been wiped off his face the moment you had settled between his legs, kneeling on the edge of the sofa. 

You didn't think, just moved, your lips smashing against each other. It seemed to take Matty by surprise, and it even took him a second before he kissed you back. One thing nagged at you. Why did you like it?

There was no time to think when you heard George wolf whistle at the both of you. 

You want a show, I'll give you a show you thought, slipping in your tongue and taking over the kiss. He seemed into it, but then again, Matty would fuck anything with a pulse. You smile against his mouth at the thought. It suddenly felt hot, even though you were outside. His hand snaked its way into your hair, tugging slightly. This didn't feel platonic. Was it?

“Alright, alright, we didn't sign up for a porno,” Ross says, his hand covering his mouth. You were the one who broke the kiss. Matty let out a soft groan when you parted, loud enough for only you to hear. His eyes pierced yours, and you moved to get off of him. 

Your heart thrummed against your ribcage, and you felt dizzy. What the fuck?

You wiped your mouth, your lipgloss having smeared all over your face. Wiping the back of your sticky hand against the sofa, you turned and walked back to your spot on the table. 

“See! Absolutely no ‘secret affection’ as George so kindly put it.” you say to the group, going back to your pile of fags, taking one and lighting it. If you had looked at Matty instead of being preoccupied with Hanns bickering about the prissy new manager, you would have noticed a faint shade of red caressing his cheeks. He felt around for his own cigarettes, and took out a pack of parliaments. Spotting the lighter next to you, he reached for it, lighting the cig as he inhaled the smoke eagerly.

It was already half two when the five of you finally piled back into Hanns car. The prominent stench of weed made you scrunch up your nose. You decide to light a cigarette in the car despite various protests and threats to your life if you even dared to ash onto the leather seats. Switching seats with Matty, you ash out the window instead, resting your head against the rim of the car. 

Ross and George were having yet another meaningless debate on whether mixing ketchup and mayo was a cardinal sin or totally acceptable. Every other word was an insult, and you knew they would never come to an agreement, ever.

You had already established that you’d be sleeping over at Mattys, saving Adam time and petrol not having to drive both of you home separately. Denise and Tim were out on a press tour, so he had the house to himself. 

His room was dark, the curtains drawn shut. If you knew Matty, you knew he hated the big light with a burning passion. Instead, a small lamp was turned on in the corner, illuminating the various posters that littered his wall. Band posters, prints, tapestries, the occasional quote. Everything screamed Matty

His room was filled with so much music. CD’s, vinyls, even the odd cassette tape. His purple record player sat on top of a dresser next to his desk, surrounded by various small trinkets of his. It was his prized possession, a gift from his mother for his 14th birthday.  

You had already helped yourself to a cola from his fridge downstair. His house was huge, way bigger than your own. Your parents weren't actors, after all. The walls of his room were stained towards the corners, just another side effect of Mattys near constant chain smoking. His bed was big, and you both fit comfortably on it. The wardrobe next to it had a pile of your own clothes in it, but none to sleep in. Your eyes dart around the room looking for one of his to wear, landing on his bright pink durex t-shirt. He had worn it once to school, promptly getting kicked out of literature class by a very conservative Mrs. Sexton.

Soft music was playing in the background as you unloaded your bag onto Matty’s insanely cluttered desk. Out came multiple pens, makeup, not one, not two, but three lighters, and finally, makeup wipes.    

You sat on the ground in front of his full length mirror, wiping at your eyes and face. Matty was making the bed, giving the both of you each your own duvet, a must after too many fights over the blanket. You weren't a peaceful sleeper, constantly tossing and turning, occasionally even kicking Matty in the back. 

Washing your face, you hear the bathroom door click open. Matty went and sat on the closed toilet lid next to you.

“Hand me my toothbrush, will you? And some toothpaste.” he asked, stretching his hand out. You do, even wetting the toothbrush for him. 

He sat there, brushing his teeth and flipping through a recent issue of playboy while you put moisturizer on, and then a serum. 

“I dont get how you can be arsed to put all that shit on your face, it takes way too long,” his comment makes you roll your eyes at him in the reflection. 

“Not everyone is naturally blessed with clear skin like you, people like me have to put effort into their appearance, knobhead.” A wave of insecurity hits you as you inspect the acne on your face. 

You had been a chronic face picker in your early teenage years, and the consequences of that were gnarly acne scars covering most of your face. They were not prominent, but they were there. 

Matty was fortunate enough to have had maybe three zits ever, his clear skin the stuff of dreams. 

Matty watches you pick yourself apart in the mirror. He hated when you did that. It made his heart ache in his chest. He wished you could see what he saw. What did he see?

“You’re quite beautiful, really,” he says, making eye contact with you through the mirror. You’re taken aback, not quite sure how to respond. You open your mouth to speak. 

“Oh bugger off,” you say, your voice breathy and annoyed. You didn't want to sound annoyed, it just came out that way. 

Matty raises both his hands in defeat, and spits the toothpaste into the toilet bowl, flushing. The hairbands sitting on the bathroom counter eventually end up in your hair, holding together two braids on either side of your face. You stare at the mirror one more time, examining yourself. The pink fabric of your (well, Mattys) shirt clung to you like it did Matty. Taking off your bra, you go back into his room. He had changed into a loose Kiss t-shirt and black boxers. The light of the corner lamp helped you find your phone, sitting on the nightstand next to you. 

The atmosphere was calm, calm enough that you’d almost forgotten about the kiss. Almost. 

Matty reached over to turn the lamp off, lighting a candle for light. Cinnamon. 

“You know it's dangerous to sleep with candles lit? We could catch on fire and die,” Matty had rolled over on his side, now facing you. A grin spread onto his face. 

“If it kept me from ever seeing Hanns ugly mug ever again, i’d gladly let cinnamon spice scented flames burn me to death,” 

You giggle at his words. Poor Adam, always taking the worst of Mattys jokes, if you could even call them that. Accepting his decision to keep the candle lit, you pull the blanket over your shoulders. Your eyes shut and you can feel butterflies in your stomach. Butterflies, really? Jesus fucking christ. 

You're scared to open your eyes, scared to even look at Matty. Maybe it was a mistake. He's your best mate. That kiss didn't mean anything, especially not to him.

A million thoughts race through your head, and you shove them into a small corner of your mind. Ignore ignore ignore, it didn't mean anything. He's just some wanker who picked you up at a bus stop three years ago and somehow became your best mate. He's just some guy you share a bed with sometimes. He's just some guy who lights your spliffs for you. He's just some guy who you kissed on a terrace overlooking the city. 

Fuck. 

[storiesofsvu]

5 Nights Pt 4

*not my gif* Aaron Hotchner x reader warnings: semi public make out, dirty talk and lots of it, smut, v minor daddy kink. pt 4 is finally here! now y'all see why i couldn't have done all of these all together in one fic lol. I'm 99% sure this is the end but i lowkey am already thinking about extending it into a mini series of how things go when they get back to Quantico. so if y'all are interested in something like that, lmk!!

Love Aaron Hotchner? Don't miss out! Taglist here! Like what you read? Tip your writer!🩵

Aaron had had his eye on you all day, barely able to tear his gaze away from you as you worked through mountains of paperwork. His plan the night prior was to get himself off to the thought of finally fucking you and then actually fuck you when you got home from the bar. Problem being that the exhaustion was catching up with him, and you were out later than planned, he was dead to the world by the time you got back to the room. So now he was stuck for the third day in a row fighting off a constant hard on, desperately trying to think of anything but the memories of you trembling in his arms or on your knees with his cock buried between your lips.

He was on his way to get a fresh cup of coffee when he spotted you in an empty, off to the side copy room, using the machine to get extra copies of case files. You’d been running low on clothes, stuck in a skirt today, one that hugged tightly to your hips and ass, leaving little to the imagination, exposing your legs that Aaron wished were wrapped around his head again. He silently shut the door behind himself, you didn’t even realize he was in the room until his hand was on your waist, his breath hot on your ear as he husked into it.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to resist bending you over a desk and fucking you so hard you forget your own name?” His hips ground into your ass and you let out a gasp, his cock very apparent through the fabric, “fuck you so good all you can do is chant my name, let the whole building know just who it is that’s making you feel so fucking good. Make you scream so fucking loud when that tight little pussy squirts all over my cock, just love the way you make a mess sweetheart, love watching you fall apart on my cock. Wanna pull out of you, watch your juices drip down your thighs before I come all over your face, shove my dick into that mouth of yours, watch you choke on it.”

You instinctively ground back towards him, letting out a little moan at the way his dick twitched. Your hand shot out behind you, wrapping up to tangle in his short locks, “Hotch…” you practically moaned, complete putty in his hands. All thoughts of the work place and task at hand completely forgotten as his hands began to roam your body, groping at your chest, fingers pinching your nipples through your clothes. You let out a whimper, feeling yourself begin to flutter around nothing, the pulsing in your pussy simply begging to be filled with Aaron’s cock, wetness growing with each time he rutted against you.

“I’m gonna absolute ruin you.” He growled, a hand cupping at your pussy through your skirt, “no one’s ever going to be able to fuck you like I can.”

“Aaaron…” you groaned softly, tugging at his hair.

Within a second he had you whipped around, pinning you to the counter behind you and his lips were on yours. You let out a gasp into the kiss, your entire body tingling at the feeling of his kiss, the way his tongue easily slunk into your mouth, dominating the entire situation even more. He slotted himself between your legs, a hand sneaking between your ass and the counter, squeezing at your body as he hoisted you onto the ledge. You instantly wrapped your legs around his waist, your skirt bunching around your waist as he rolled his hips into you, his cock rubbing right against your clothed pussy and you moaned. His teeth sunk into your lip, pulling it before letting it snap back to your mouth, he considered leaving a hickey on your neck but couldn’t resist plunging back into another kiss, never wanting to have to surface again, eager to completely devour you.

It wasn’t until his phone blared through the room that the two of you came hurtling back to earth and to your senses, jolting apart breathlessly. Hotch hissed, adjusting himself in his pants with one hand while the other dug his phone out of his back pocket to answer, turning his back on you in an attempt to focus. Chest heaving, you slid off the counter, fixing your blouse and straightening your skirt while you tried to calm the fire shooting through your body. Thankful for the mirror in the corner you were able to wipe off the smudged lipstick, take a minute to make sure your hair wasn’t too messed up before you grabbed the copies and originals from the photocopier, vanishing from the room as Aaron swapped back into work mode.

*

The door to the hotel room was barely shut much less locked by the time Hotch was pouncing on you, hands shoving your blazer to the floor before roughly tugging at his tie while his tongue plunged into your mouth. Clothes trailed their way through the hotel room until your back hit the wall, a gasp escaping your lips at the cool temperature on your bare back. Aaron’s lips traced the column of your neck, pulling moans from you as he began to suck at your pulse point, groaning over the taste of your skin. Your hands slunk between your bodies, palming at him through his boxers, he was already hard, pre-cum staining the front of the fabric. His hands wound around your body, pulling you tight to him as he squeezed at your ass, fingers daring to sneak between your legs from behind, brushing at your clothed pussy.

“Aaron… please..” you whined, letting out a quiet yelp when his teeth sunk into your skin, determined to leave you with a mark that claimed you as his. Your fingers tugged at his boxers, yanking them as far down as you could while he was attached to your neck, “need your cock. Now.”

“Fuck..”

You felt him twitch in your hand when you said it, letting out a breathy moan as your hand wrapped around his length. Within the next second his hands were ripping your panties off, shreds of fabric falling to the floor and you let out a louder moan when his fingers ran through your pussy lips.

“God,” he groaned, “have you been this wet all day?”

“Mmhmm.” You nodded, rutting your hips toward him in search of what you wanted, “need you. Fuck me, please sir.”

Aaron finally pulled himself away from the crook of your neck, wrapping a hand around his cock, running the tip of it through your folds, smearing your juices down his length. He watched the way you shivered at the contact, another whine leaving your lips before he spanked your clit with his cock and you gasped, body jolting off the wall toward him. With one swift thrust he was buried inside you, body tight against yours as he pinned you to the wall and you both let out satisfied moans.

“Fuck…” he grunted, “you feel so good.”

“Move…” you begged and that was all it took for Aaron to grab your legs, wrapping them around his waist as he began to pull almost all the way out before sinking all the way back in. “Oh god.”

Your head dropped back against the wall, each pump of his cock hit every inch of you that you needed, little whimpers and moans leaving your lips every time he pressed you into the wall. Your arms wound around his shoulders, bracing yourself up as he picked up the pace, burying his face into the crook of your neck again. You could feel the slick building between your legs, fully coating him, your pussy fluttering around his cock and he swore.

“Fuck…” he panted, “squeezing me so tight already.”

“Harder. Please.” Aaron stepped back from the wall for a moment, bracing his feet differently before thrusting even deeper into you, pinning you to the wall and you cried out in pleasure. “Oh fuck! Yes! Oh god…”

A shimmer of sweat was breaking out on your body as your hands clawed at his shoulders, nails leaving half circle indents on his skin. Each thrust of his hips crashed you into the wall, the pain worth it for the pleasure, his body rubbing against your clit, fire prickling under your skin as you clenched down around him.

“Feel good?” He asked, finally pulling his face from your neck, capturing your lips in a deep kiss as you nodded, whining out the best ‘yes’ you could in that moment. Your thighs began to squeeze around his waist, your breath hot on his lips as your chest heaved, eyes fluttering shut and he could feel your cunt dripping and pulsing around him, “you gonna come for me sweetheart?” A hand slid up your body, roughly cupping at your chest, finger and thumb pinching at one nipple and then the next, rolling the swollen buds between his fingertips. “Be a good girl and come all over daddy’s cock.” Aaron husked into your ear, biting at your earlobe and your eyes shot open at the use of the title.

“Oh god!” Your body trembled, pussy clenching down around his cock as your peak washed over you, juices dribbling out where your bodies were connected, drenching Aaron’s thighs as he continued to pound into you.

“That’s it.” He cooed, “that’s my good girl.” His arms wound around you tightly as he pulled you off the wall, cock still buried deep in your cunt as he carried you over to the bed. Your lips were peppering kisses to the side of his neck, teeth scraping gently at the skin as you let out little whimpers, pussy still fluttering around him as you shivered. Before he had a chance to put you down on the bed you let out a little whine,

“Wanna ride you.”

“Alright.” He chuckled, slipping out of you and dropping down onto the bed, bracing himself up against the headboard as you scrambled up the bed to straddle him. His eyes flicked behind you to the full length mirror, the one he’d fingered you in front of days ago, “wait.” You stalled in your movements, “turn around.”

“But—”

“Turn. Around.”

His finger twirled and once your eyes met his through the mirror you understood why, a small smirk on your lips as you straddled his hips, hand wrapping around his cock. You trailed it through your folds, rocking up and down as you pressed his cock against your pussy, grinding up and down his length as your juices made even more of a mess before you finally lined it up and sunk all the way down onto him.

“Fuck…” you moaned, biting your lip, “love your cock.”

“Yeah?” He asked with a wicked grin, hands coming up to rest on your waist, giving you a soft squeeze, “love it buried in that tight little cunt?” A hand spanked at the globe of your ass, “you like it when I fuck you nice and deep?”

“Mmhmm?” You nodded, gasping when he spanked you again.

“Well then why don’t you get goin’? Put on a nice little show for me, let’s see how gorgeous you are riding my cock.”

You didn’t need any more encouragement, bracing on your knees as you rose up until only the head of his cock was inside you, starting a steady rhythm bouncing in his lap. Aaron groaned at the sight of your tits bouncing in the mirror, the way your eyes fluttered shut and your hands roamed your body as you rode him. Each time you came down his cock fully disappeared into your pussy, throbbing and twitching inside you, feeling the way your walls were pulsing around him. He would never get enough of this sight and he knew it, trying to memorize every inch of your body through the mirror as he squeezed at your ass with one hand, the other on your waist, guiding you up and down. His hips suddenly thrust upward and you let out a little squeak in surprise, your eyes shooting open,

“Touch yourself.” He grunted, “want you to come again before I do.”

“Yes sir.” You nodded, keeping eye contact through the mirror as you sucked two fingers into your mouth while you continued to ride him. Your fingers left a trail of spit down your body as your hand sunk lower until they hit the swollen nub, pulsing and aching to be touched, “oh fuck…” your head dropped back as your began to rub your clit.

“Harder.” Hotch urged, hands gripping your waist tighter, “faster.”

You complied, pushing harder as your hand began to move faster, bouncing quicker in his lap and you began to pant, your chest heaving as pleasure prickled under your skin. All that could be heard in the room were the sounds of skin on skin, wet sounds squelching from your pussy as your moans got louder and louder. Hotch could feel your cunt squeezing down tighter and tighter with each thrust of his cock and he knew you weren’t far off.

“Oh god daddy…” You moaned.

“That’s it sweetheart.” He grunted, bracing a foot on the bed to thrust more powerfully into you, earning a loud moan from you as he did so, “show me how pretty you are when you come for me. Just for me.”

You let out a cry, your body surging forward as pleasure skyrocketed through you, your entire being shaking as you squirted all over his cock. You tensed up, hands braced against the bed in front of you before you screamed out a moan, a third orgasm coursing through you. You barely had time to feel the wetness dripping down your thighs before Aaron shoved you forward so he could get on his knees behind you, his cock never once leaving your drenched cunt and then he was fucking you into the mattress.

“God.. listen to you..” He moaned, “just fucking wrecked.”  Your fingers clawed at the bedspread, pussy throbbing around him, clit harshly rubbing against the bedspread, whines leaving your lips as you began to reach the stage of overstimulation. “Just a little cock slut, aren’t you?”

“Only for… you…” you moaned out, voice muffled by the duvet.

“Good girl.” He grunted with a particularly deep thrust and your thighs shook, “gonna make me come.” He could feel his lower stomach tightening, his eyes squeezing shut.

“Give it to me.” You cried out, “want your cum.”

“Fuck.” He hissed, his hips faltering and then stilling buried deep inside your cunt, cum spurting into you, coating your walls.

“Oh god…” You groaned at the sensation, finally letting your body fully collapse into the mattress.

Panting, Aaron gently dropped over you, caging you into the bed, one hand softly soothing up and down your side as he pressed a series of kisses across your shoulders, “you okay?”

“Phenomenal.” You mumbled back, earning a chuckle from him before he kissed the back of your neck, gently slipping out of you to collapse on his back beside you on the bed. You rolled your head toward him, shifting slightly, happily sighing at the feel of the cum mixture leaking down your thighs, “but if it takes another fucking four days for that to happen again, I will not be impressed.”

“All I need is four minutes.” He smirked back at you, “besides, there’s plenty of ways I can get you off that don’t even need my cock.” You let out a yelp when his hand slid between your legs, softly fucking the cum back into your cunt, “see?” He asked with a near evil grin and you laughed, letting him wrap his free arm around your waist, lips meeting yours in a lazy kiss as he continued to toy with you.

You had to admit, even if you did have to wait another four days, you knew it would be completely worth it in the end.

__________________________

@alexusonfire @svushots @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @emobabeyy @daddy-heather-dunbar @mrs-ssa-hotch @hotchandspencearedilfs @mina2000alex @telepathay @darlingsfandom @ssamorganhotchner @hotchsdoormat @hopedoesntknow @thehauntingofbasingse @plaidbooks @the-hopeless-haze @niyizh @ababanana @tommyriddleobsessed @supercriminalbean @hotchs-bitch @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @emlynblack @ivyflowers13 @ratsnestinmyhair @silversprings-mp3 @originalbrunettecharacter @elz-artzzz @ssaaaronhotchnerr @itsrainingreid @speedynana

[ofallthingsnasty]

Do you know any other yandere/dark conent like yourself?

fyi you sent this twice and i've had someone in my inbox in the last weeks with the same 'problem' - your app/connection might be fucky, just so you know haha

Sure I do!! I don't know what fandoms you're looking for, so I'll just throw a whole bunch of people at you I adore. In general, check my fic recs tag!! I don't read much but I've reblogged a thing or two in my day, haha

@after-witch I love Theo - I've been following her for three years now and her writing is divine. She writes very delicately - if you like psychological horror/dark fic, bleak fates and that sinking feeling in your stomach, her blog is just the place! Theo has written and writes for a lot of fandoms (from JJK, HxH, BNHA etc to original content), I'm sure you'll find something you'll like. @391780 You HAVE to check out Early's stuff. Fat reader fics galore. They write everything from romance to soft dark to dark fic, all CoD. I know nothing about CoD but by some strike of fate her fics landed on my dash and I've been in love ever since. You don't need to know anything about that fandom, trust me, you can go in blind and you'll fall in love just as much. If you like dark dark stuff, her Nikto masterlist is perfect - and the Nobody series is my ultimate fave of theirs. So delicious, you'll want to curl up and cry afterwards (out of joy).

@darkficsyouneveraskedfor Roo is THE darkfic writer to me. She writes MCU/DC and again, I haven't watched a Marvel movie since 2015 - but you don't need those to read her fics. She crafts AUs you've never even thought about - and masterfully so. Seriously, I especially love her historical stuff and the way she puts you into these worlds is something else. Roo's writing is very direct and raw and hopeless. She doesn't write happy ends and it's amazing. One of my favorite series of hers is Tapestry , a medieval AU featuring Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. If you want something even darker, Splintered is another masterpiece of hers that I've been screaming about on here for literal years 😭💕

@stupid-sloot-headcanons is another fixture on the 'dark fic side' of tumblr to me. Sloot has ... everything. Seriously. Pluck in a random fandom of yours and 9/10 times, she's written about it. Her thought/characterization posts never miss, she just gets characters through some form of magical mental connection, I swear.

@thus-spoke-lo Pain Management. You will read this. Now. No discussions. Adshjshfj but seriously, Lo has written SO much. So many different tropes, so many different levels of romance. I'm on a One Piece kick right now and her whole OP masterlist got me through the first 300 chapters of my re-read... The twists, the turns, the love (or not) - experience it for yourself (╹ڡ╹ ) And of course, I have to mention @girlwithsharpt33th and @tang3r1n - they're both still 'fresh' but give them a scroll... Things are brewing and they're perfect and disgusting and abhorrent 💕

and a rest in peace goes out to kyneslust (mae) and captainmcslashypaws... you two are missed. so much. 😭💕

[letters-to-rosie]

Questions for fic writers. I'm curious.

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in talk revolution to me / heir (ap)parent, what would it be?

&

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

hellooooooooooo~

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in talk revolution to me / heir (ap)parent, what would it be?

my writing style involves a lot of writes and rewrites. for those fics in particular, I had a document where I just kinda threw stuff at a wall for several tens of thousands of words before I published anything lol. so we'd be less likely to get missing scenes than deleted scenes

these could include (I forgot about some of these lmao): -Ekko and Powder having sex in his car and talking about not wanting to get caught for public indecency (their sex life in general was different lmao in the old version they spent much less time as friends so they both are unsure about each other in various ways) -an earlier version of the gym scenes (chapter 39) where they were not yet dating and Powder is angsting all the time because she doesn't know what Ekko's feelings for her are -Silco making a grand charitable gesture trying to get Ekko back on page with him and Powder being extremely pissed

for heir (ap)parent, I'm lame and have to publish chapters in order, which means I don't have the next two in order done but I have a handful of other ones mostly ready to go after that lmao. but the whole format of the fic is basically missing scenes and Ekko's backstory with the Beaumonts. one thing that's missing that I really want to add in the future is about how Ekko gains the reputation he has in the city at the start of the main timeline!

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

COWBOY BEBOP AU! for Arcane. I came up with the idea for one and wrote a bunch of notes. I started talking about it two years ago, but the idea for a story to go along with it just evades me.

I also have a couple AUs I started but never got enough on the page to publish. one is a CaitVi modern high school mystery story; one is a Hunter x Hunter "hey look we found this kid by a dumpster now we gotta adopt him" with Leorio and Kurapika taking in a runaway Killua (overdone but I can't help myself); and another is a post-canon Fullmetal Alchemist story that would be about worker uprisings in Xing and Ling and Lan Fan dealing with all of that. with drama!

writer ask game

[sincerely-sofie]

I LOVE THE NECROZMA SHORT SO MUCH!

Necrozma being stuck because he lacked light, but the hero determined that he would bring him some after being his friend.

And then Necrozma becomes ultra necrozma

BECAUSE HE HAD GIVEN UP ALL HOPE AND THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER GET OUT

AND THE HERO GAVE HIM HOPE

AND THE HOPE WAS THE LIGHT HE NEEDED

sOPHIE!

SOPHIE YOU CANT JUST GET ME EMOTIONALLY IMVESTED IN THESE CHARACTERS AND THEN DIP.

HOW ARE YOU SUCH A CONSISTANTLY GREAT WRITER AAAAAAAA

Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you liked that lil comic :D In all honesty I found myself very attached to the characters by the end of it--- there's so much that went into the original script that ended up cut for time, like the hero asking Necrozma for stories because he's old and probably knows a whole bunch, right? And Necrozma being so exhausted of the hero pestering him for stories that he finally says he doesn't know any more, only for the hero to ask him to tell the ones he already told about Ultra Space because they were so amazing. Necrozma ended up getting a bit upset when the homesickness hit him, but wouldn't admit why he was upset, and the hero was planned to confide in him, "Y'know... I miss my parents a lot. And my toys. And my school, and my teachers, and my friends..."

The hero is a fun character because he was super young when he was transported across dimensions to the world of mystery dungeon and was turned into a tiny cat that spits fire, and ended up being taken in by a village of pokemon, but never was really cared for by anyone in particular--- he was just passed around from whichever household could keep him fed and dry for whatever span of time. Necrozma taking notice of him in the cave was the first time he felt like someone saw a scared kid when looking at him instead of another mouth to feed, which is why he got so attached so fast while Necrozma was slower to warm to this persistent child so determined to disturb the spotty rest he could find between flares of pain.

I'm considering writing a short fic of these two, or maybe including them as major / playable characters in a larger PMD visual novel I've got stewing in my brain. One person reblogged the original comic with "peepaw Necrozma" and it just never left my head, haha. I think it might be fun for Necrozma to be able to return home to Ultra Space and the hero to insist on joining him. Who knows what antics they'd get up to?

[lolotr]

fanfic author 20 questions!

I am late to the party, but i was tagged by @shadowquill17, thanks my love <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

51

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

162,166 total words! Not too shabby

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for a bunch of fandoms, but these days it's mostly Dead Boy Detectives. in theory i have other fandoms, but none that i'm so feral for at the moment

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all of them are DBD which is kind of astonishing to me, this fandom never ceases to amaze 1. after the insects have laid their claim 2. like breathing 3. terms of endearment 4. a certain step towards falling in love 5. you can throw a party full of everyone you know

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes, every single one, no matter how old the fic is! i might be a little slow or miss one every so often, but i really try hard to respond to every one i get. comments mean the absolute world to me, so i want to thank everyone who takes time out of their day to tell me they enjoyed my work <3 <3 i also LOVE when fanfic writers respond to me, so i assume other people do, too

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am an angst with a happy ending sort of bitch, but probably one of the fics i wrote during the Nothing Much To Do Radio Silence (TM) when we were all losing our minds with no updates. haven't read those in forever, so maybe Something to Do, Someone to Blame? or maybe it isn't cinema that i wrote for Nothing Like the Sun? or maybe Tropes for Keleidotrope?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gosh, so many. again, i write mostly happy ending stuff, so it's hard to pick just one. maybe my fourth favorite public building to visit, if i had to pick one that hasn't been mentioned already. though after the insects have laid their claim has a VERY happy and corny ending that i will forever be proud of haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank goodness

9. Do you write smut?

yeah! i'm new to it, but it's a lot of fun

10. Do you write crossovers?

not usually, but i'll stick characters from one universe into a similar universe because something resonates (like Heartstopper Squared or The Quest of the Maddening Mace), but i don't usually write characters meeting or anything like that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! *fingers crossed*

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but if anyone wants to do so, just make sure to tag me in it and go right ahead!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah! i have stuff in progress (that we haven't worked on in a while sorry @courfaeriedust) but i've also definitely written collabs that i've published, i think?

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Charles and Edwin from Dead Boy Detectives have such a special place in my heart, and I really hope this hyperfixation doesn't go anywhere, but in terms of pure longevity? Merlin and Arthur from BBC Merlin. I've been reading that shit for a decade. Special shoutout to Alex and Henry from Red, White, and Royal Blue, and Drew and Harrison from Keleidotrope, because I'm still insane about you all too, don't worry.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

THAT IS QUITTER TALK AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. but to give a kind of cutesie answer, i'm not sure i'll ever be done with the libraryverse. there's so much story there, and i keep having ideas for it, so maybe i'll be able to keep playing in it forever. that would be kind of nice.

16. What are your writing strengths?

why are you making me say nice things about myself. why. overall, i think i'm good at dialogue. i actually wrote a whole manuscript in instant messages because i love writing dialogue so much. i'm pretty good at getting into characters' voices, whether they're my own or someone else's, and i find a lot of joy in writing everything from banter to flirting to meaningful conversations (but some of those are easier than others lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action, descriptions, things that aren't dialogue. i also tend to keep my writing kind of short, so i don't always allow for moments to breathe the way they should.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

woooooof the only other language i speak is hebrew (and not amazingly well) so probably not. if i ever got good enough at another language, maybe? but english is my first and by far my strongest language, so I don't think i'd ever be able to express myself well

19. First fandom you wrote for?

as far as i remember, Lord of the Rings. (no you will never find it.)

20. Favorite fics you’ve written?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE, THEY'RE ALL MY CHILDREN. how about this, you tell ME what your fave stories of mine are, because im tired of linking things. and because i thrive on praise lol

i am too lazy to tag people specifically, so anyone who writes fic is welcome to answer!

[babblingbookends]

20 questions for fic writers

Okay so hopefully I found all the people who tagged me in this game, thank you to @fleur-de-violette @goldenraeofsun and @wildsofmarch for the tag! (If you tagged me and I didn't see it, thanks to you too!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Thirty-eight! I didn't realize there were so many.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

50,029. A respectable number, but could be better

3. What fandoms do you write for?

DC Comics, but mostly Batman. I pretty much exclusively write fics for DC Comics, with the majority being Batman and Batfam-related comics. I have one single fic for another fandom, and that fandom is Avatar: The Last Airbender.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tim Drake (Doesn't) Drink Coffee, which is also my first fic! It currently has 990 kudos

Do You Need Another Box of Tissues? which beats the next fic by 1 kudo, sitting at 242 kudos

Hypnogogic Jerks and Other Body Quirks is still one of my favorite titles! It has 241 kudos (update: I double checked before posting this and it now has 242 kudos, tying it for second place

Batman vs. Bridezilla has an even 200 kudos

And number five is Isern, which I'm a little shocked by considering it's currently my most recent fic. It has 156 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I don't get a lot of comments, so it doesn't usually take me long to get through them, but I do tend to let them build up a bit before I answer them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhh good question. You're Just A Baby, You Can Not Fly is angst the whole way through, so maybe that one

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Realizing now that a lot of my fics are either angst or smut, soooo there's happy endings in most of the smut fics teehee. But also this one, Soda Pop, is sweet the whole way through.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'm fortunate enough that so far, I have not! I don't feel like I'm big enough to get hate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Not sure how to describe what kind, but I've touched on a lot of smut things. This may be TMI, but I really like writing sex that also involves pain, I think it works so well with the Batfams gestures wildly everything.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I'm not opposed to the idea but it sounds too complicated for my writing tastes

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've noticed or been told about

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of! I would love to have it happen though

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I think it sounds fun but collaboration scares me sometimes because what if. what if I'm actually stupid. and my co-writer hates everything I come up with. Horrible thought

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

My all-time favorite is a tough one to choose butttt I really like Wonderbat from Justice League Unlimited. Niche, I know, but it was my childhood ship and holds a special place in my heart. Never actually written something for it though!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Hoooooo-boy, I recently abandoned a buuuuunch of wips in my wip folder because I had named them random, unimaginative stuff, and simply didn't have the mental energy to go through them and see what was in them and rename them so I just put them all in a folder and started fresh. However, in that folder was another folder where I had a series planned based around Jason and a bunch of members of the Batfam. Each fic would have chapters from Jason's POV and another character. The first fic was Jason and Tim solving a missing persons case. I think Barbara's was them, like, getting trapped in a mall by the Joker, and I vaguely remember that Dick's took place in New York City.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have no idea. Maybe my descriptions of stuff? I really like describing things in unexpected ways and trying to pull emotion into them. No idea if other people like it though!

17: What are your writing weaknesses?

I always feel like my flow is really bad. Like some places feel really slow and some places feel too rushed, if that makes sense. I also think that when I'm writing a character I always make the character feel a bit too distant, like I'm just describing what's happening to them instead of making the reader feel what's happening to them.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Well you see, I have this bad habit of thinking I can just learn an entire language in an afternoon, which means that no writing actually gets done. So unless it's something I can a. easily translate from a dictionary (so a single word or a simple, common phrase) or b. ask one of my international friends to translate for me, I usually find another way to say it without using the actual language. Maybe sticking the words in italics, or the old classic "he said something in Russian".

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Batman! As I said above, my first fic was Tim Drake (Doesn't) Drink Coffee. Before that I only wrote original stories.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

All these questions about fics when I don't remember anything about any fic I've ever written XD.

Probably either Gotham Roulette or Clock-Beat, Heart-Beat. Based off of popularity, Gotham Roulette is one of my least popular, but I still like it, it was so dramatic. And Clock-Beat was really fun to write, it's about the Batfam from the perspective of a clock.

And that's that!

Tagging @cephalog0d, @adelfie, @nelson-and-murdock, and whoever else wants to play!

[xoxoemynn]

tag your most hard working fic writing mutuals uWu

Oh, buddy, I am friends with SO many extremely talented writers who work their absolute butts off to give us incredible fic and I know I'm going to miss people, so I'm going to cheat a bit and rec some recent-ish fics written by beloved mutuals. Would 100% encourage you to check out the linked story and then their entire collection of works because they are all fab. 💕

The Detectorists AU by @monksofthescrew. Two-part metal detecting AU. It is so atmospheric, so rich and tender and nuanced with some really incredible timey wimey stuff intertwined. I'm a little biased because I beta read these, but I think of them so often. Just a master class in story telling.

Respawn by @glamaphonic. This is SUCH a fun AU where Ed and Stede are both streamers. The concept works SO well, and the flirting and banter is top-tier. I know next to nothing about video games and I've still been able to follow along easily, squeezing my cheeks and kicking my feet the entire time.

wanna fly away (I don't know where my soul is) by @ghostalservice and @petrichorca. Speaking of fics I love where I know nothing about the concept, this is an Animorphs AU where Stede is just the most precious alien whom I would 100000% die for. It's such a fun, rich, layered story and I'm eagerly awaiting to see where it goes. Also just love this description of it: Our story is about finding one’s place in the universe (actually and figuratively), plays with the transformative nature of morphing and the power to change one’s body, and explores two individuals from wildly different backgrounds falling in love.

Moonstone Mage Championship by @blakbonnet. Holy crap, the WORLD BUILDING. Meow's mind is a wonder. I truly don't know how she does it, but I am literally in awe of her work on this fic. One of the most creative and detailed stories I've ever read.

Different Names for the Same Thing by @oatmilktruther. I have been rotating this fic in my brain ever since it was posted. I don't even have proper words to describe how gorgeous it is. It's basically my soul now. Abs' gift for blending humor and tenderness and making you feel the love between Ed and Stede is unparalleled.

My Father's House by @trans-top-stede. Owen describes this as "a t4t theatre au (kind of)" because it is about theatre, but it's mostly about gender and families and the healing power of queer art" and YES. It's beautiful and tender and hot and that last line has stuck with me ever since it was posted.

Gold Rush by @abigailpents. Potentially the sweetest AU I've ever read. Just pure love and romance. Just let yourself get swept away. It is lovely.

Tree Change by @clairegregoryau. I am constantly in awe of all the work Claire puts into her fics. She is operating on a whole other stratosphere and it's incredible to watch. Tree Change is a little teaser for what promises to be an incredibly unhinged Kinktober and I am just rubbing my hands with glee for what's to come. (ba dum tss.)

Matching spark and flame by @bizarrelittlemew. My current read that I am devouring, it's so fucking good. Everything Ida creates is just pure magic, and this one is no exception. Also extremely excited for the OFMD Fic Club discussion on this one later in the month, so be sure to read and join the server so you don't miss out.

I know I'm missing a bunch, but this list is already getting long and I need to get back to some beta work. Kissing all my writer mutuals on the forehead and giving them all the good writing vibes. May your muses be ever loquacious and cooperative. 💕

[lemotmo]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @warpedpuppeteer. Thank you for the tag and the challenge! :)

1-How many works do you have on ao3?

- 36 works in total. 6 for my current fav ship: Buddie

2-What’s your total Ao3 word count?

- 332,354 words written.

3-What fandoms do you write for?

These days only for 911, Buddie fics. But I used to write for SGA (McShep), Without a Trace (Danny/Martin) and The West Wing (Josh/Donna).

4-Top 5 fics by kudos?

All of them Buddie fics! :)

Three years (180 kudos)

Too Little Too Late (226 kudos)

To Boldly Go (256 kudos)

The Comfort of a Home (408 kudos)

Stuck (on you) (885 kudos)

5-Do you respond to comments?

I do, but sometimes it takes a long time to get to them. I have so little time in my daily life that it's a struggle to find time to reply. But I do get to them... in time. So be patient please if you are someone who has commented and you haven't heard back from me yet. Know that I appreciate each and every comment. I read them, but I just don't always have time to reply on the spot.

6-What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oooh, well there's four fics that come to mind here:

You Only Disappear (Without a Trace, Danny/Martin)

It ('Without a Trace' set in the 'Stargate Atlantis' universe, Danny/Martin, TW body horror)

Experiment (Stargate Atlantis, McShep, TW murder/suicide)

Buck is Here (911, Buddie, TW MCD)

7-What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, I have a lot of fics that end happy, but three fics come to mind here:

The Road to Nowhere (Stargate Atlantis, McShep, Cowboy AU)

The Sound of Science (Stargate Atlantis, McShep, The Sound of Music AU)

To Boldly Go (911, Buddie, Star Trek AU)

8-Do you get hate on your fics?

Not so far no. Never had any hate.

9-Do you write smut?

Well, yeah if the story asks for it. But only when it fits the narrative. I don't go into too much details though. I like to keep things 'light' and 'fluffy'. :D

10-Craziest crossover?

Well, I would say:

The Sound of Science: a fusion between 'Stargate Atlantis' and 'The Sound of Music'. XD LOL!

To Boldly Go: a fusion between 911 and Star Trek. Basically it's a Buddie story set in the Star Trek universe, but Star Trek characters don't really show up.

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know off. I don't know if my writing is good enough to steal though. It's important to stay humble. :D

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13-Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, when I was in 'The West Wing' fandom (in the beginning of the 2000's) I wrote about three longer Josh/Donna fics together with a fandom friend. I have lost contact with her since, but I will never forget about her.

14-All time favorite ship?

Oh wow, it's very hard to pick one, because all of my ships hold a special place in my heart.

Josh/Donna from 'The West Wing' was my first online ship. I made fanart, wrote fanfic, met great people. In those days fandom was mostly found on the Yahoo-groups. They eventually went canon in season 7, but I had moved on from the show by then because of how bad the writing got in later seasons. So, I missed the big reveal as they went canon. I'll never not regret it.

Danny/Martin from 'Without a Trace' was a magical ship. My second online ship. I met so many great fellow fans and friends back then. We even met up in Rome and London with a whole bunch of us. Great times on LiveJournal as well.

McShep from 'Stargate Atlantis' was my most prolific ship. I wrote so much fic and made oodles of fanart for those men. Those were the heydays of LiveJournal fandom.

Buddie in '911' is so special to me. I've been in this fandom since season 1, online since season 2. I have met so many great people in this fandom. The best thing of all is that this is the first ship that actually has a great chance of going canon, while I'm still actively watching and enjoying the show. YAY!

15-What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have this dystopian Without a Trace fic half written in my documents. It has been sitting there for years now. It has the possibility of being so great, but I don't have the will to finish it anymore, because the fandom is mostly non-existant these days. Maybe I'll turn it into an original work of fiction one day. Who knows?

16-What are your writing strengths?

Writing dialogue. I actually hear the characters talking in my head. I just write down what they are saying and it always works out.

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

Finding the time to write! But mostly the grammar, especially the tenses. As a non-native speaker it is a struggle to keep on writing in the correct tense and it's very difficult sometimes to know when to switich to another tense if it's appropriate. It's highly frustrating. I reread and edit my stories up to 10 times sometimes to catch all the grammatical errors. And even then there are still a few that I miss.

18-Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

For some reason I can't read/write non-English fics. I hate fics in my own language. Since the shows I love are English speaking shows, I need to read/write English fics.

19-First fandom you wrote in?

The West Wing.

20-Favorite fic you’ve written?

That's a hard question, because they are all my babies. I can definitely see that my writing has improved over the years though. So I tend to like my last works better than my first works, even when I do still appreciate them for what they are.

I guess the fic I'm most proud of writing is 'To Boldly Go'. It took blood, sweat and a lot of tears, but I got through all 16 chapters in the end. It took a couple of years to finish though. :D

Tagging: I'm not tagging anyone in particular. Anyone who sees this, feel free to do it for yourself. Tag me so that I can read it. 🫶🏽

[rebelwithoutabroom]

taizi's fic masterpost

Dnfies:

To find fortune that’s smiling on you - G rated, 8k words

Princess and the frog AU with blob!Dream (!!!)

Polaris (bring me home) - E rated, 29.7k words

A star falls. George, a dime-in-a-dozen farmboy, sets out on a journey to retrieve it.

Lucky (I'm in love with my best friend) - E rated, 8.5k words

George is magic, but it takes Dream a while until he pieces everything together.

Fine Line - T rated, 8.5k

Tattoo/Flowershop AU. Techno's just trying to live his life while Dream - like the idiot he is - falls for the cute guy that works across the street from them.

Apotheosis - E rated, 3.8k words, PWP

Consensual Somno, George POV.

Kiss me in the morning light - M rated, 9.2k words, cowritten with @twirlybumblevee

Five times Dream kisses a man (that isn’t George) and one time he finally does it right.

Ever a surprise - G rated, 6.1k words co-written with @twirlybumblevee

George’s first dance with his knight

Ever as before - M rated, 7.6k words co-written with @twirlybumblevee

Dream’s first dance with his husband

Rekindle - E rated, 36,1k words

Exes to lovers dnf AU with writer Dream. My unsung symphony

Your heart was met with open doors - T rated, 17.6k co-written with @twirlybumblevee

meetup fic written back in early 2021. my 1st ever dnf fic. (they were just so baby i don't even know if the characterization still holds but goshh)

Non dnfies:

Riptide - maskduo, G rated, 9.4k words

5 times Corpse and Dream hold hands, and one time they finally kiss (PJO AU my beloved)

Like home - maskduo, E rated, 54.4k words co-written with @twirlybumblevee

Pacific Rim AU where Dream, formerly star pilot of the Jaeger Program, finds himself a new partner, battles 250ft monsters in the middle of the ocean, and falls in love in between.

Silver touch, golden heart - maskduo, E rated, 93k words, co-written with gogycrops

Dream is the head of his family, coming back to help Drista on her first season after years spent abroad. Corpse is a prince looking for a mate he isn’t sure he even wants. In the middle, they find each other. (Silly bridgerton a/b/o AU with a/a maskduo)

A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss - corpsekkuno, T rated, 11.7k words

soulmate au where Corpse has a bunch of tattoos — to the point that it’s hard to discern which one of them is his soulmate’s, and that’s kinda the whole point. Sykkuno only has this small little thing under his ribcage, and sometimes he can almost convince himself that he doesn't care that there’s someone out there for him. (i honestly feel like i popped off with this one)

Heart of the sea - G rated, 4.2k words

c!tommy and c!dream being the bffs they could've been during dsmp S2.

From A to where you'd B - corpsekkuno, T rated, 6.6k words

Meetup hand-delivery hoodie fic. iykyk

We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us - corpsekkuno, M rated, 41.7k words

Rust AU. My 1st ever fic after like... 10 years of taking a break. it's missing rust rp hours in this house folks

[nitewrighter]

Hello (there is a prompt at the end of this I promise)

I had a dream about Gency and it reminded me of you bc I used to love love LOVE Gency (still do!) and your fics are so well written and I am so sad that Blizzard fucked up overwatch (and it’s lore kinda?) over the last couple years :(

Also the way they removed a bunch of Gency interactions and are kinda like..changing their relationship dynamic? And the line in the biography story mode thing about how mercy was genjis cyberneticist?? even though she previously was never mentioned to like… do that stuff and that kinda reframes how they interacted pre-fall and its a minor thing but it really just grinds my gears :(

(I pretend it is not canon because i know overwatch better that the current OW2 writers 👍)

And pushing more Pharah/Mercy stuff after literal YEARS of gradual Gency buildup in OW1?

and also the way some Gency artists literally don’t feel SAFE to post their ship art (of a ship that actually has a decent amount of support and is based in canon, mind you) on Twitter.. but that’s more a Twitter thing than anything

i wanted to be into this games lore so bad and i used to have such a good handle on it and now every so often i get this huge wave of nostalgia when i look back over fics from years ago and get sentimental and mad over what was and what could have been (just in general) if blizzard didn’t fuck it up :(

admittedly I haven’t examined what’s going on in the lore of the game too much over the last couple months, so if they revived it somehow or Mr. Developer looked us in the eye and said “Gency is real” then throw this whole thing out the window 😭

Anyways there was a really cool plot to the dream and i was gonna give you a prompt so you could write something akin to it if you ever wanted but I now forgot the plot ☹️ but I love your writing and i hope even in your creative, non-overwatch-related endeavors, all goes well

hmmm but here’s a prompt idea (I don’t know if this would actually be in line with the canon for your overwatch prompts now, it’s more of a what-if):

what if Genji and Mercy crossed paths after the fall of overwatch? Before they started sending each other letters, before the recall, by pure coincidence—maybe before or while Genji was under Zenyatta’s teaching—either way, he isn’t at peace with himself yet. Would Genji try to hide his identity? Would he feel like he isn’t good enough to face her? Or guilty after she goes, missing a one-in-a-million opportunity to connect with her again? Or maybe they do talk, but are obscured and don’t know who the other is until too late? Or maybe they fully know who the other is—what do they say? What do they do? I am super interested to read your take on this prompt if you ever want to write something akin to this!

I am going to. binge all your Gency fics now. Goodbye

First of all... WOW! Thank you for taking the time to write all this! And also thank you for reading my gency stuff. I still love them too, for all my disillusionment with Overwatch and its overall storytelling. I definitely share your sentiments with regards to the fact that the revolving door of writers has basically lead to Overwatch no longer giving a shit about continuity and actual storytelling and just defaulting to what they think will suck the dicks of fanon in the most satisfactory manner. And it's not just writing Gency out of existence either--it's about erasing the tragedy of Widowmaker and the complexity of Reinhardt. It's about reducing Gabriel to a shitty radicalized cop. It's about bringing in characters who make no sense chronologically and have fuck all to do with anything and honestly just heighten the truth of the "stereotype+fetish" joke of Overwatch character design (Yes, I'm talking about Kiriko and Illari). It's about bringing in Mauga 4 years late and acting like they're the cleverest damn people in the world for doing it. It's about expending an absurd amount of narrative and advertisement funding and energy on fucking ASHE of all members of the cast.

Okay--okay--I'm calming myself down.

With regards to your prompt, I'm just going to say, I played the general timeline out between Genji and Mercy the way it played out with very specific reasons. The truth was, as far as character development goes, for all of his love of Mercy (as far as my fic continuity goes) Genji simply wasn't in the mental or emotional space to have a healthy relationship with *anyone,* let alone Mercy. And that's also why I have him mentioning hooking up with Cassidy during his time in Blackwatch in the broad general fic continuity, because it's this very fucked up emotional period for both of them and they have this *very strong link* for a time but as they progress to healthier mindsets they both sort of outgrow each other. Genji moves on to Angela and Cassidy moves on to Hanzo and that's *good* because that indicates they've both grown into their own respective people past being in a really painful codependent state.

The *whole point* was Genji getting away from Overwatch, hallucinating Mercy at his lowest point, and realizing *he* needs to be the person to get himself out of his most fucked up mental corners, and then meeting Zenyatta so that he can develop the right mental tools for that. I'm realizing this is a very western interpretation of this, but then again Overwatch slotted in Robot Jesus with Aurora so fuck it, but if I had to break it down into a solid narrative, it's a Divine Comedy where Genji is Dante, Zenyatta is Virgil, and Mercy is Beatrice. You can have your idealized love and your most beloved mentor, but ultimately YOU have to claw YOUR OWN way out of hell.

If he met with Mercy or made contact with Mercy at any point before Zurich exploded in my fic continuity, that wouldn't give catharsis for ANYONE. The only position they would be in, would be for angst wank. And like, YEAH, I *can* write Gency angst wank that doesn't actually go anywhere and doesn't contribute anything to the characters beyond making them feel sad, but honestly I'd rather write my Anarky-Assassinated-President-Lex-Luthor fic. That's a nice fatty mutton bone I can chew on.

[lewmagoo]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ringing in the new year ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

here’s to 2022

what a year it’s been. among everything that has taken place, one of the best decisions i made was creating this blog. in my 13+ years in fandom and different writing communities, none of them have ever been as warm or welcoming as this one. the response my writing has gotten has been overwhelming in the best way. many of you are so quick to leave comments and words of encouragement and it means more than you could ever know.

as a thank you for all the love and support, i wanted to highlight some of my favorite fics of the year. this is by no means an extensive list, and i'm sure i will miss some, because there's no way i could highlight every single great story i've read. there are too many fantastic writers in this community for me to do so.

without further adieu:

leah's 2022 library

robert floyd fics

my love, forever collection by @robertcallsignbobfloyd - this series is heart wrenching and beautiful. i find myself thinking about it again from time to time and wishing i could read it from the beginning all over again and experience all the emotions it made me feel for the first time. truly a masterpiece.

navy boy, country girl by @clints-lucky-arrow - this fic turned my world upside down, let me tell you. i love the idea of bob as a cowboy. and the line "But I hear that you’ve become quite the cowgirl. So, do what you do best, darlin’. Ride." quite literally sent me into another plane of existence. such a sexy story. delicious, really.

weather the storm by @wildbornsiren - this is such a sweet story. heartbreaking in the best way. this line: He nods, and you can feel the wet spot on your shirt from his tears. “You’re a safe place.” truly touched me deep within my soul. just a wonderful piece of writing, truly.

morning after by @mothdruid - this one is just too good. little bit of humor sprinkled throughout. also, great proponent of the #bobfucks agenda. i had such a good time reading this, and often find myself rereading it.

no shame by @beachbabey - i really have no words. just, bob with a mommy kink. what more could you ask for? gosh it's just such a fun read, and the way he's just so subby and sweet the whole time? i could die

the phone call by @sebsxphia - the anguish in this story is just so heart wrenching. it's short and to the point but manages to make you feel so many emotions at once while reading it. such a good, angsty read

rhett abbott fics

the trouble with books by @hederasgarden - god this is just so HOT. got me all flustered and warm under the collar. it never gets old, even after i've read it multiple times. i can't even describe how much i loved every minute of it (as well as part 2), you just have to read it for yourself and see.

stand by your man by @a-reader-and-a-writer - so, so good. such a great depiction of hurt/comfort. also does a great job of showcasing rhett's stubbornness. i reread this from time to time and always enjoy myself.

horsemanship by @bradshawsbitch - one of my all time favorite rhett fics! i love, love, love the idea of rhett owning a stubborn mare who only likes him and no one else. god it just makes my heart sing. i will forever adore the idea that he is soft with animals. anyway, this entire story was just such a wonderful read.

please by @h0neyfire - this is just delicious. i enjoyed every minute. just the thought of breaking rhett down and getting him all needy and desperate and pliant for you? fuck, i need to lie down.

bradley bradshaw fics

running series by @lcahwriter - this series will forever be one of my favorites. the way trauma is portrayed in this story is so gripping. sometimes, stories like this can sometimes be over dramatic or sensationalized, but this story is none of those things. very tastefully done. the moment i read the first part i was hooked.

skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight by @gretagerwigsmuse - if i were to truly say how this fic made me feel, it would just be a bunch of unintelligible keyboard smashing, because holy shit. it's so damn sexy. one of those stories you can't stop thinking about long after you've read it.

the better man by @bradshawsbaby - i really loved the way the tables were turned in this story. usually it's bradley defending the reader from some asshole's unwanted attention, but this showcased what might take place if it were the other way around and bradley's girl was defending him. such an enjoyable piece, i had such a good time reading it.

idle time by @hangmanbrainrot - the angst in this story just touches something deep within my soul. such a great depiction of bradley's struggles while he has time off. it was something so relatable and personal to me.

jake seresin fics

i and love and you by @halfway-happyyy - this one hurt so good. the way hurt and betrayal is portrayed in this is so emotionally stirring. this story fully made me cry as i was reading it. so worth the read.

who did this to you? by @justfandomwritings - this is probably one of my favorite stories born out of the who did this to you? trope. the situation is portrayed so well. it's not over the top either. very well done.

fair game by @sunlightmurdock - when i tell you this one knocked me the fuck out!!! my jaw dropped. SO good. if you love drama you will LOVE this. jake is such a bitch and it's wonderful.

if devotion is a river (then i'm floating away) by @seasonsbloom - i'm at a bit of a loss for words with this one. it is truly breathtaking. every time i read it, it's like i'm reading it for the first time all over again. it's like reading poetry. absolutely wonderful.

there are so many more i could mention, but this post would never end if i did so, so i'll keep it brief. thank you all for your contributions. such talented, talented people.

extra shoutout to my lovely mutuals 🥰

@withahappyrefrain @wildbornsiren @rhettabbotts @roosterforme @roostache @robertcallsignbobfloyd @rooster-bradshaw @thesluttyarchivist @theharddeck @topguncortez @top-gun-rooster @imjess-themess @sebsxphia @sunlightmurdock @shouldershimmycity @floyd-luvr @gretagerwigsmuse @glodessa @halfway-happyyy @hangmanapologist @hausofobsession @hangmanbrainrot @lcahwriter @victoriapedrcttis @bobfloydsbabe @bussyslayer333 @bebetriste @notyoursbutlewis @notroosterbradshaw @mothdruid @mayhem24-7forever @milesmillergf ✨

[earlgreytea68]

I'm sure you've seen this post:(https://stillasunbeam.tumblr.com/post/722408222997315584)

I just saw it today, after seeing the fic from spirallingstarcases and have many thoughts. First, 'cornflower blue, I miss missing you' I love that. But also this is on an AB/AP era setlist when Miss Missing You is long since written....so like are these alternate lyrics? Or....reinterpreted lyrics? Why are they writing on the setlist? Cornflower blue obviously also gives us a much more direct linkage to Patrick. Second, hello Grudge lyrics in 2015! Another instance of Patrick squirreling lyrics away for later.

I am absolutely FASCINATED by this. Like, first of all, I love the evidence, that we hear Pete mention here and there, that he gets hit by turns of phrase that he wants to write down at all random times. He says that when he's driving he has whoever he's with (he often implies recently that this is poor Bronx lol) jot down like three words for him so he can remember the thought when he gets home. So, these seem complete, but maybe they're also reminders to himself of even more stuff, in which case "sometimes I miss missing you" could be a reference to the song to remind himself of something else he means to do.

But also, I've always theorized that Patrick is the one who wrote the "I miss missing you" line, in answer to Pete's original line, which was "I miss you missing me." If that is indeed the case, this isn't so much Pete reusing his old lyrics as it is him taking one of Patrick's and fully enfolding it into his words, making it his own.

Either way, whether the original line was Pete's or Patrick's, it doesn't surprise me that Pete might write them down again, might not even in the moment remember that they've already been used. That might sound ridiculous, but let me tell you how many things I have forgotten writing, because it is a LOT, so it wouldn't surprise me if sometimes Pete literally forgets that he's used a turn of phrase already. And if a writer liked a turn of phrase the first time they came up with it, they tend to like it again the second time it occurs to them.

I tend to believe that, even though Patrick forgets lyrics in the heat of the moment at concerts sometimes, he has a decent memory for the lyrics of Pete that he's already used, because, as you note, he seems to keep records of them and go back to them later, so he seems to have a pretty good idea of the universe he's working in. And we know that he deliberately reuses them sometimes. But it could also be that Pete sometimes gives him the same lyric more than once and that puts the idea in Patrick's head.

The "Grudge" lyric showing up there is interesting because they've said "Grudge" was the last song written for the album and that Pete had sent Patrick a bunch of new lyrics because he had decided he wasn't satisfied with the lyrics they already had for the album, and he apparently was like, "Can we use some of these instead?" and instead of using any of them to replace the lyrics they already had (I get the impression Pete wants to change the lyrics FOREVER, he's never happy with them, and Patrick just ignores him), he read them and immediately heard a whole new song and begged Neal to let him add one more song to the album. So that means that either most of the lyrics of "Grudge" were from that new set and Patrick supplemented with some old ones, or the "demand you have no fun" line was in the lyrics Pete sent Patrick and he as the one who recycled it.

I suppose part of me wonders how Patrick would ever even have gotten these lyrics. Like, does Pete just constantly hand across scribbled scraps of paper to Patrick, like, "here you go. some lyrics"???? I love this, I am endlessly charmed by this, I really hope that's exactly how it happens and Patrick's got this messy pile of scraps of paper that he tries to organize and make sense of. I know they've referenced them coming by email in the modern era, but I blame the pandemic for that lol.

Finally, just my last point on this, I read this differently than the transcript on the post says. First, I know the transcript says "Let me know you say," but I originally read it as "Let me know you stay," and then realized that's not what it seems to say, but it looks a lot "Let me know you shy," which also makes no sense. It could very well be "say," that fits and makes some sense but also seems incomplete, so I'm not sure that's the whole line. (And I still like my original misreading of "Let me know you stay" the best.)

Finally, the transcript reads it as:

you'd be no one without me but it feels too dark cornflower blue sometimes I miss missing you

I actually read it as:

you'd be no one without me cornflower blue but it feels too dark sometimes I miss missing you

It's so squeezed in there, I'm not entirely sure which is right, I think it's ambiguous.

[allylikethecat]

I wanted to say I hope you are ok and I am missing your writing but I didn’t know how to say that without it sounding like I’m just asking for you to write something because I’m not so yeah that’s the message.

Oh my gosh hello and thank you so much! I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating consistently recently and that I've also fallen off the face of the Earth. I've been traveling a whole bunch recently and also after finishing All the King's Horses have just... felt like I haven't been able to write? It was awful and scary and I was kind of freaked out about it. I didn't really have writers block because I knew exactly what I wanted to write... I just had no interest in doing it which was super weird for me because usually I write something everyday whether it's fic or original fiction or some kind of exercise just for me. I think I let myself get super burnt out which mixed with all the traveling and work being busy meant that writing and updates just weren't happening. BUT I do feel very refreshed creatively after my most recent trip and I'm hoping I'll be able to dive back in and write something again soon. Thank you so much for taking the time to check in and send me this ask! I hope you are doing well and that you enjoy whatever it is I manage to update... whenever I manage to do so. Thank you again! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and a great rest of your night!

❤️Ally

[impishtubist]

Fanfic writer self-appreciation! Answer this, then pass the ask along to your favorite writer, your mutuals, or just someone who needs to answer it. If I were to read one fic of yours that best reveals who you are as a writer, or the one you’re MOST proud of, which fic should I read?

First of all, thank you anon, you have no idea how demoralized I have been lately re: writing and how nice this was to receive <3

I don't normally do self-appreciation stuff, but I took a tour through my fics today on a whim after receiving this ask, and have reached some Conclusions. So you're getting a whole ass essay, buckle up.

I really fucking adore missing-scene fics. I write them the most, and I read them the most. But after taking a tour through my 200+ fics, I think the stories that reveal who I am as a writer the most are actually the long, plotty, post-canon ones.

I happened to re-read my As a Desert in Bloom series yesterday (Star Trek: VOY), which is a post-Endgame Chakotay/Tom fic, and you know what? I rocked it with the world-building and all the OCs, and there was also a good deal of plot there. I normally hate OCs in fics that I'm reading! But I am nothing if not a hypocrite, and they appear in a decent number of my fics.

RIP to the OC I killed off in the second fic of that series, you were my favorite blorbo.

Price of Memory is another one. I count this as post-canon because it takes place 15 years after Timeless (and, er, 12 years after Endgame? Something like that), even though that timeline eventually gets changed. Angsty men falling in love even though they know they're going to change history and erase it all? Hell yeah sign me up! This is another one where I did a bunch of worldbuilding and had a bunch of OCs and a bunch of plot.

In the Bleak Midwinter, A Memory That Never Forgets, and An Age of Silver are all post-canon Sherlock fics that do - you guessed it! A bunch of worldbuilding and have a bunch of OCs and are extremely plotty.

So what I have concluded here is, the fics that most reveal who I am as a writer have lots of plot, lots of OCs, and do a bunch of worldbuilding. Which would explain why my real jam is writing original fiction, and fanfic is just what I do on the side.

Okay this was super interesting and not at all surprising, but in 13 years of writing fanfic, it's something I've literally never thought about. So now I need to go take a break and stare at a wall and contemplate my entire existence.

Thank you for this ask, I'm gonna go put it in some other people's inboxes now 😂