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religioused · 4 years ago

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Words Never Die

by Gary Simpson

1 Samuel 3:1-20 (King James Version) And the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli. And the word of the Lord was precious in those days; there was no open vision. And it came to pass at that time, when Eli was laid down in his place, and his eyes began to wax dim, that he could not see; and ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was, and Samuel was laid down to sleep; that the Lord called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I. 5 And he ran unto Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou calledst me. And he said, I called not; lie down again. And he went and lay down. 6 And the Lord called yet again, Samuel. And Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And he answered, I called not, my son; lie down again. 7 Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him. 8 And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child. 9 Therefore Eli said unto Samuel, Go, lie down: and it shall be, if he call thee, that thou shalt say, Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth. So Samuel went and lay down in his place. 10 And the Lord came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth.

11 And the Lord said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.

15 And Samuel lay until the morning, and opened the doors of the house of the Lord. And Samuel feared to shew Eli the vision. Then Eli called Samuel, and said, Samuel, my son. And he answered, Here am I. And he said, What is the thing that the Lord hath said unto thee? I pray thee hide it not from me: God do so to thee, and more also, if thou hide any thing from me of all the things that he said unto thee. And Samuel told him every whit, and hid nothing from him. And he said, It is the Lord: let him do what seemeth him good.

19 And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground. 20 And all Israel from Dan even to Beer-sheba knew that Samuel was established to be a prophet of the Lord.

Reflection:

There is an old public domain hymn titled ��Kind Words Never Die.” Sadly, angry words take on a life of their own too. In no realm does that seem more accurate than political and religious discussions.

Three general principles you might want to look for in this sermon. (1) Ridicule and insults can cause religious and political divisions and political tension. (2) We can reflect on how our theological beliefs and political news consumption may cause us to hate others. (3) Look for ways to build people up.

There are times when a dose of Biblical trivia feels right. And this is one of those times. In the Septuagint, 1st and 2nd Samuel were called 1st and 2nd Kingdoms, and 1st and 2nd Kings were called 3rd and 4th Kingdoms.(1) A few people think 1st and 2nd Samuel would be better named Saul and David, or 1st and 2nd David.(2)

First and Second Samuel were probably written about 900 BCE(3), and the events described in 1st Samuel might date back to somewhere between 1200 and 1000 BCE.(4) The book was written after the division of the nation into two kingdoms, the northern and the southern kingdoms.(5) The events in the book of 1st Samuel take place during a time of political change. The children of Israel were transitioning into a monarchical form of government.(6) We see a shift from the leadership of priests, prophets and judges to kings.(7)

As we look to contemporary issues dividing Canada and the United States, we may find parts of 1st Samuel, a book written for a people divided into two kingdoms, valuable. A major theme in 1st Samuel is that the main characters, Samuel, Saul, and David, all “make mistakes that cost them dearly.”(8) This last point, which seems quite trivial, could be important. Religious institutions and religious leaders, combined with political institutions and political leaders, made mistakes that could be challenging for North Americans for many years. Decisions relating to the creation and operation of residential schools made by the Canadian Government and church denominations hurt generations of Indigenous people. Contributors to the NIV Foundation Study Bible observe that Samuel’s ministry is built on a foundation of an “attitude of listening.”(9) And listening could be critical to the future for people of faith.

There is some literary foreshadowing in the passage. Samuel means “requested of God.”(10) We can get the sense that there is something special about Samuel, and that sense increases as we read the narratives in 1st and 2nd Samuel.

In the ancient Near Eastern world, prophets gave messages from God. Should a god not give messages through prophets, it was considered a sign that the gods were unhappy.(11) Contributors to the Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible indicate that some people speculate that Samuel was in the temple area at night in hopes of receiving a “divine vision,” but there is nothing in the Biblical passage that supports that conclusion.(12)

Verses 15 to 17 are worth exploring for a moment. Warren Wiersbe draws attention to the fact that Samuel got up and went about his daily duties. He gives Samuel credit for being mature enough not to run around telling everyone that God gave him a special message.(13) I am not sure if it was maturity or dread of telling Eli the message God gave Samuel. Because Eli was almost like a foster father, Samuel might have loved Eli. His love for Eli might have been why Samuel was reluctant to tell Eli God’s message. Samuel did not want to hurt Eli.(14) Eli had a long vocational calling as a judge, having judged Israel for 40 years. Knowing Eli's vocation might have made it even more difficult for Samuel to deliver God’s stern message.(15)

Eli appears to threaten Samuel. He says Samuel must tell the whole truth and not to hide anything from him or God will deal severely with Samuel. Eli may have spoken strongly because he realized that God did something “rare” when God bypassed him and gave Samuel a message.(16) Eli, who recognizes physical maturity does not always go hand-in-hand with spiritual maturity, takes the rebuke God gives him through the mouth of young Samuel.(17) I think Eli shows significant maturity in his willingness to seek out and to accept the message Samuel gave.

Moses understood the children of Israel wanted to have a king.(18) There could be many reasons why the children of Israel wanted a king, a person of power, leading their country. They might have been seeking power, prestige, and a feeling of safety. Chapters 8-12 of 1 Samuel describe the establishment of a king for the children of Israel.(19) Was a desire to have a powerful leader, a person who could protect people of faith, a factor in some Christians being involved in the Capitol protest, a protest that claimed the lives of people? Did some people of faith believe they needed a strong president, a virtual king figure to protect their faith? We may never know.

When protesters took over the Capitol Building in Washington, DC., a few Americans carried crosses and Christian banners. Photos show somebody put up a noose. There was a massive juxtaposition between the images. As Canadians we cannot look down our noses at our American neighbors and congratulate ourselves that this could never happen in Canada. Increasingly strong and polarizing rhetoric is not just an American thing. We have the same problem here. Polarizing language between conservative and progressive Christians is both a Canadian and an American problem.

There are a few things that we may want to consider when reviewing how you live out your religious and political convictions.

• Is our shared theology and understanding of the Bible helping us feel more compassion for others, or are we finding ourselves progressively feeling more angry with those who do not share our values or our doctrine?

• When we hear a politician or a minister speak, do we find ourselves feeling increasingly angry because we believe that we are being cheated?

• Have we studied, to understand, and not to prove other people wrong, the beliefs of other Christian denominations and other world religions?

• Do we find ourselves engaging in calling members of other religious or political groups names? Do we find ourselves calling either progressive or conservative Christians names?

• Do we decide to vote based only on one political issue?

• Are there times when we seriously want to punch people who disagree with us on core issues?

• Do we spend hours each week listening to all news, all talk shows? Are we feeling anxious and angry after we watch hours of news and opinion shows?

If some of the things I mentioned seem to describe you, this might be a sign that you need to focus less on news and theology. You may want to limit your consumption of news to the morning news and the evening news. That might help you feel less like your core values are being assaulted.

Anglican theologian John Stott states, “No theology is genuinely Christian which does not arise from and focus on the cross.”(20) Historically Christians have seen love and grace as being symbolized in the cross. This means Christian theology is only genuine Christian theology when it shows love and grace. A prime test of love is respect. When we express theology in a loving manner, we attempt to show respect for those who disagree. The use of sarcastic language, ridicule, and insults might win the argument, but it generally loses the war, since the tactics offend and alienate.

I am going to conclude with a story.

Lawrence Welk is a big band leader who had a highly successful career. There is a website that estimates the net worth of celebrities. According to the website, when Lawrence Welk died in 1992, he might have been the richest person in show business, possibly being even more wealthy than the legendary Bob Hope.(21)

I hope that I recall the story correctly because it has been years since I read Lawrence Welk’s autobiography. As I recall the story, Lawrence Welk was reminiscing about his early days in show business. Welk and his boss, the leader of the band he was in, were eating in a café. Evidently, the food was pretty awful. Lawrence Welk complained about the food. The leader of the band complimented the waitress on the coffee. Later, Lawrence Welk asked the leader of the band why he didn’t complain about the bad food. The bandleader replied to the effect that whenever the waitress heard his name, she would think about how he complimented her for the coffee and whenever the waitress heard Lawrence Welk's name, she would remember how he criticized the food.

I encourage people to change the topic from political concerns and religion to other topics and to look for a reason to praise. Your kind words will be remembered and will build a bridge.

Kind words can never die,

Cherished and blest,

God knows how deep they lie,

Stored in the breast:

Like childhood’s simple rhymes,

Said o’er a thousand times,

Aye, in all years and climes,

Distant and near.

Kind words can never die(22)

End Notes

(1) Joel Rosenberg. “1 and 2 Samuel.” The Literary Guide to the Bible. (Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard Univ. Press, 1987), 122.

(2) Rosenberg. (1987), 122.

(3) Marshall Shelley, et al., eds. The Quest Study Bible. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zandervan Pub., 1994), 358.

(4) John H. Walton and Craig S. Keener, eds. New King James Version Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zandervan Pub., 2017), 480.

(5) Shelley, et al. (1994), 358.

(6) Walton and Keener, eds. (2017), 480.

(7) Rosenberg. (1987), 122.

(8) NIV Foundation Study Bible. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zandervan, 2015), 283.

(9) NIV Foundation Study Bible. (2015), 286.

(10) Merrill F. Unger. Unger's Bible Handbook: An Essential Guide to Understanding the Bible. (Chicago: Moody Press, 1967), 187.

(11) Walton and Keener. (2017), 486.

(12) Walton and Keener. (2017), 486.

(13) Warren W. Wiersbe. The Bible Exposition Commentary: History. Colorado Springs, Colorado: Victor, 2003), 216.

(14) Walter J. Harrelson, et al., eds. The New Interpreter's Study Bible. (Nashville, Tennessee: Abingdon Press, 2003), 399.

(15) Bruce Barton, et al., eds. Life Explanation Study Bible. 2nd ed. (Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Pub., 2004), 413.

(16) Shelley, et al. (1994), 363.

(17) Christian Community Bible. 2nd ed. (Madrid, Spain: San Pablo, 1988), 277.

(18) Kenneth Barker, et al., eds. The NIV Study Bible. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zandervan Pub., 1985), 372.

(19) Barker, et al. (1985), 372.

(20) John Stott. The Cross of Christ. (Doners Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 1986), 216.

(21) “Lawrence Welk Net Worth.” Celebrity Net Worth. 2020, 16 January 2021.

<https://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/rock-stars/lawrence-welk-net-worth/>.

(22) Abbey Hutchinson Patton. “Kind Words Can Never Die.” Public Domain Hymns. <https://www.pdhymns.com/SheetMusic/B_Normal/I-Q_Normal/K_Normal/Kind%20Words%20Can%20Never%20Die_N.pdf>.

#christian #church #sermon #progressive christian #political division #religious division

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jade4813 · 4 years ago

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Like Moths to a Flame, Chapter 5

Fandom: North and South

Title: Like Moths to a Flame

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: John/Margaret

Synopsis: “I hope you realize that any foolish passion for you on my part is entirely over.“ Margaret decides to confront John about his unjust judgment of her character, but the two have always been drawn to each other, and things quickly get out of hand. In the aftermath, she agrees to marry him to satisfy propriety, but she cannot forget how ready he was to believe the worst of her. Can love survive without trust, or will the two find a way to work through the misunderstandings that have plagued their relationship from the start?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Never had the hours moved so slowly as it did that evening, the passage of time marked only by the steady beat of Margaret’s heart. In the morning, Mr Thornton would come to her in anticipation of her response. In the morning, she would agree to marry him. Due to the confluence of honor and respectability, her life would be irrevocably changed, with no hope, even, for a long engagement in order to grow accustomed to the idea. The possibility of a child forced Mr Thornton’s hand as much as her own, and they would have to marry as soon as was practical, but not so quickly as to invite further comment and speculation.

She would leave her father’s house. She would become John’s wife – his property in the eyes of the law, although her nature rebelled against the notion of belonging to anyone other than herself – with no recourse to either of them, should regret ever become the natural conclusion to their marriage.

Miss Margaret Hale. Mrs John Thornton. Mrs Thornton. Margaret Thornton. Over and over, she played her future moniker in her mind, attempting to grow accustomed to the weight and feel of it. Margaret Thornton. Margaret Thornton. Margaret Thornton.

What an unlikely pairing. What an odd collection of syllables. His name had long since inspired the comfort of familiarity, the warmth that came at the reminder of a dear – if complicated – friendship. The full force of emotion evoked by the joining of their names together was too complex for her to interpret and too frightening for her to consider for long.

Mrs John Thornton. Mrs Thornton. Margaret Thornton. It would not happen immediately, but this would soon be the name she would carry for the rest of her life. Mrs John Thornton. I am soon to be Mrs John Thornton. Margaret Thornton. Please, God, do not let him come to hate me for it.

And so her thoughts occupied the hours as sleep eluded her, until the grey light of dawn breaking through her bedroom window compelled her to arise and prepare for the day. Mrs John Thornton, she reiterated one final time as she gazed at her reflection in grave contemplation. Her features were pale and drawn, the deep shadows under her eyes testament to her sleepless night, but she otherwise appeared respectable enough. Today is the day I agree to become John’s wife.

It was futile to expect that Mr Thornton would arrive late to their engagement, or that he would shirk his duty entirely, but she allowed herself to entertain such hope nevertheless as she ate her meager breakfast in resigned silence. Her father failed to notice her preoccupation, engrossed as he was in his own ecclesiastical ruminations. For her part, Dixon appeared to suspect that something was amiss, but she seemed content to keep her own counsel, demonstrating an uncharacteristic lack of both curiosity and opinion about Margaret’s lowered spirits.

Once the breakfast things were put away, Margaret attempted to lose herself in the day’s chores, though her mind remained fixated on the upcoming visit. In her distraction, she accomplished several tasks, but none of them well, until Dixon shooed her out of her precious kitchen and directed her to take her inattention elsewhere. So she returned to her room to gather Mr Thornton’s things and await his arrival.

It came all too soon, his rap upon the front door traveling to her from the ground below, and she attempted to rise to her feet only to find them too weak to support her. Brushing her palms along the heavy fabric of her skirt, she tried again, this time with greater success. Clutching his things in her arms, she swept out the door and down the stairs, this time without pausing to check her reflection in the glass. She knew she was unlikely to look her best at the present moment, but her future husband would have to take her as she was, regardless.

Dixon had showed John into the drawing room, to await her company. Fixing a smile upon her face, she tried to be brave as she prepared to engage in the interview that would change her life, but then she saw John, Mr Thornton, her future husband standing by the window, his back to the room. At the sight of him, she felt her knees give way, and she had to grab for the threshold to avoid falling upon the floor and making a fool of herself.

He turned at the sound. “Miss Hale,” he greeted her, giving her nothing to reproach in either his expression or his voice.

“Mr Thornton,” she responded in return, gratified when her voice sounded more confident than she felt. After a momentary hesitation, she turned to close the door, regretting the impulse that had compelled her to leave his abandoned items on the table in the entryway, for him to retrieve before his exit. If she still carried them, it would give her hands something to do, other than to tremble and be useless. Hiding them in her skirts, she stepped further into the room, her gaze falling – as it so often seemed to do as of late – to his chest.

“You’ve thought about my offer?” he asked with a forthrightness that she had often admired in the past but which caused her a measure of dismay now. If she’d had her way, they might have occupied the next several minutes in idle chatter, avoiding the subject that remained unspoken between them, although such avoidance could only be temporary in nature. But perhaps it was for the best that they address the topic right away, affixing her future with a sense of permanence in her own mind.

“I have,” she agreed, even as her mind went blank. Were there words that were customary to offer in such a situation as the agreement to a proposal issued in honorable obligation? Surely there were, but she could not for the life of her imagine what they might be. If only she had spent some time mulling over the words of her acceptance, rather than merely upon its outcome! “I – I thank you for your offer and would be—” she hesitated, searching for the proper word. She could not claim in good conscience to be pleased (at least under the current circumstances), but neither did honored seem an appropriate term, as it had been her own dishonorable behavior that had led to her present predicament.

She tried again. “I am grateful for your kindness, and I accept your offer.” As the words left her mouth, her throat stung with the bitterness of unshed tears. With such tepid words, she had accepted his proposal and changed the course of her life! Were their lives together truly to begin on a note of such indifference?

“I don’t want your gratitude,” he snapped, sounding cold and impatient, seemingly as disgusted by her reply as she found herself to be, and she winced.

He hadn’t moved, and so she gave into the impulse to step toward him and take his hand in hers. It had once been inconceivable that she might take any man’s hand in such a manner, her aversion causing great offense early in their acquaintance. She had yet to grow entirely accustomed to the ways of the North, each time having to overcome her own natural aversion to shaking any man’s hand but his. Though they shook hands rarely, John’s touch was hardly unfamiliar to her now.

Marveling in the weight and the strength of his palm, she trembled as she lifted it to press her cheek against the back of his hand. “No,” she breathed in acknowledgement. “I’m sorry. I’m not – I’ve never learned how to accept – to accept an offer such as – such as yours.”

“I’ve never learned to make such an offer. At least, I’ve never learned how to do it well,” he replied in return, his voice low and soft. It swept around her like a caress, making her long to lean into him. He turned his hand in hers, cupping her cheek in his palm. His thumb brushed along her lips, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

“John, I—” she began, lifting her gaze to his face, where the blue of his eyes stole both her breath and her reason. Before she could continue, a sound carried through the closed door.

“Is John here? Margaret said he would call on me today—” Her father’s voice trailed off, out of hearing, but that brief reminder was sufficient to cause her to drop his hand and step away.

“My father is waiting for you,” she breathed, pulling out of his reach. Turning toward the window, she waited until she heard him leave, and then she whispered into the silence, “Margaret Thornton. Mrs John Thornton…”

There had once been a time – before age, disappointment, and regret had instilled within her breast a degree of measured practicality, and before the upheaval of her entire life to an unfamiliar town in the North – that Margaret had entertained more romantic sensibilities than she indulged today. She had once considered her future married life with eager anticipation, although her life’s partner was yet unknown. In her more romantic musings, she had wondered if her eventual engagement would have such a profound impact upon her person, her heart, and her future that it would slowly overtake the world around her, like ripples in a pond. In her very most romantic contemplations, she imagined that an engagement would impress upon her with such importance that reality itself would be fundamentally altered, and all would know at a glance of her good fortune and supreme confidence in her future contentment.

As it turned out, her engagement to John did not have such an immediate cataclysmic impact upon her life. Her father had received the news of her engagement to his friend with a combination of joy at her good fortune in capturing the devotion of such a man and astonishment that they two were anything more than indifferent acquaintances. He had never anticipated a forming attachment on either side, convinced as he was by her initial dislike of the rugged industrialist. For a brief moment, Margaret had hoped that Dixon might be on her side in sharing reservations about her future marriage, but even she abandoned Margaret to her misgivings, having been moved by Mr Thornton’s kindness towards her mistress during her final decline.

So Margaret bore her apprehension in silence as she accepted congratulations both reticent (most notably from Nicholas, who still carried an intense distrust of the Master of Marlborough Mill and – soon enough – of her life) and heartfelt. She hid her misgivings as she wrote to her family to inform them of the news, feigning an excitement she didn’t feel to Frederick, in particular, lest he worry over her in her present course.

She didn’t dare write the truth of her feelings even to her dear Edith, who graced her missive with a quick reply.

My darling Margaret,

I was so pleased to receive your most recent letter, but imagine my astonishment to read of your engagement! Although I am certain I will not be the first, allow me to congratulate you on your upcoming nuptials. I hope you will not be too cross with me when I confess that I had begun to wonder if you might have formed an attachment to your Mr Thornton. Your attitude toward him had undergone such a marked changed in recent letters, although I had no thought that your heart might be so engaged! I know you’ll think it very silly of me, but I had hoped that you might reconsider Henry’s suit, as I already love you quite as a sister. But, no. I suppose it was not to be. No matter. You had written before of Mr Thornton’s severity and harshness, but if you have formed an attachment to him, he must be the most worthy of gentlemen. I can only hope that – if you haven’t yet! – you may one day develop genuine affection for him, as I have for my own dear Colonel.

As much as I hope for your future happiness, I was surprised to learn that your wedding would be so soon! Could you not convince your beau to give you a little more time? Surely his regard for you would allow you sufficient time to travel to London to purchase your trousseau. Sadly, I fear it would be impossible for us to travel to Milton to attend your wedding as is. The weather has grown colder, and poor Sholto has been out of sorts…

Margaret folded the letter and put it aside, letting her gaze drift out the window as she lost herself in her thoughts. Reconsider Henry’s suit? She’d never dreamed her cousin entertained such hopes, or she would have gently disabused her of such a notion. He was a good man, but she had known from their first meeting that they would never be more than friends. She could only pray that Henry was as ignorant of Edith’s intentions as she had been, and that her defection would not cause him undue pain.

The thought of Henry set aside, she turned her attention to the more pressing (and, perhaps, distressing) part of her cousin’s missive: her speculation that Margaret had developed real feelings for Mr Thornton. What was it in Margaret’s letters that had given rise to such an idea? Was she to be plagued by suspicion that she had secret designs to trap him into marriage as far away as London?

With a huff of dismay, Margaret rose to her feet and walked briskly to the hall to gather her things. The hour was growing late, and she had agreed to meet Mrs Thornton to discuss plans for the wedding breakfast. Whatever she had once imagined her life to be upon her engagement, the reality was less like a sudden, cataclysmic shift and more like a boulder rolling down a hill – moving slowly, at first, but gradually gaining in steam until it carried on entirely out of her control. Plans were made, dresses discussed, menus debated. Margaret approached each decision with feigned enthusiasm, pretending more interest in the details than she truly felt, more for her father’s sake than for the sake of anyone in the Thornton family. She had no illusions regarding their eagerness for the match, though both ladies treated her politely enough – or, rather, as politely as they were ever likely to do.

As was her nature, Mrs Thornton tackled each task like a general amassing her troops, relentlessly attending to each detail until it was resolved to her satisfaction, if not to Margaret’s preference. She remained polite, if distant, although Margaret could not help but recognize that the Thornton matriarch was disappointed in her son’s choice of bride, considering it (perhaps rightly) a slight against her family and her son that Margaret did not more keenly feel the honor that was being bestowed upon her.

Less concerned with familial honor, Fanny approached the task of wedding planning with greater enthusiasm, although she also could not entirely hide her disappointment in the recipient of her attentions. Her tongue was less guarded than the other members of her family, so she let slip more than once that she had hoped a certain Miss Latimer would stand in Margaret’s place – but, no, it was not to be, and she would somehow forebear. Margaret tried not to let these barbs shake her composure, as she told herself the pain they left in their wake was caused by injury to her pride and not her heart.

And so it was that the three women danced around the subject of the engagement and the animosity that lingered between them, until the afternoon that Margaret received Edith’s letter. Distracted by the accusation of genuine attachment for the man she assured herself had touched her body but not her heart, she was inattentive to his mother’s conversation until even the Dragon’s patience was at an end.

Tossing the proposed guest list onto the table between them, Mrs Thornton made a sound of disgust as she gazed upon her future daughter with all the hauteur that was hers to command. “I promised my son I would be polite, but I must speak my mind,” she declared, her tone more than her words catching Margaret’s attention, pulling her mind away from her more distressing ruminations.

With the same blunt honesty that had marked all of their interactions to date, Mrs Thornton said, “I’ve won’t pretend to have ever liked you.” Though the two women had never spoken on that particular topic, Margaret couldn’t pretend to be surprised by the admission. Nor could she feign astonishment when Mrs Thornton continued, “I certainly don’t think you’re good enough for my son. But if you think you can make him happy, that’s good enough for me.”

It was not much of a capitulation, but it was more than Margaret had ever expected to receive, so she was contemplating how to gracefully respond when she realized that the older woman was waging some form of silent internal battle. It seemed prudent to hold her tongue until she learned which inner demon would be the victor, and she was unsurprised when her patience was rewarded with insult.

“I only ask that you consider your feelings. If you truly love this other man of yours, if you think you might one day wish that you had married him instead…as a mother, I ask that you be honest with John and release him from this engagement. He’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve a lifetime of misery.”

Margaret’s first inclination was to rail against this affront, to demand apology for yet another slight against her character. However, she struggled to bite back her initial response, reminding herself that she would soon marry into this family – a circumstance that would require a period of adjustment for all parties involved. In as civil a tone as she could manage, she replied, “I understand your position, although I am cannot think why I should owe you an explanation for why I agreed to marry your son. As for the man in question, rest assured that I need no additional time to examine my feelings for him. I do love him – very much – but I will never come to regret him, at least not in the manner you imply.”

Her answer failed to placate the Dragon; far from it, in fact. Rearing back, Mrs Thornton snapped, “You are an arrogant, unfeeling woman, with no thought to—”

“Mother.”

Both woman jumped at the sound of the single word, no matter that it was softly spoken, and Margaret turned to find her fiancé in the doorway, staring at the pair of them. She had understood that responsibilities at work were keeping him increasingly occupied, making it unlikely that she would see him at all that day. Her heart leapt at the sight, even as she recoiled slightly from the anger in his eyes.

For all his ire, he spoke politely to his mother as he continued in mild rebuke, “You promised that you would treat Miss Hale with respect.”

Mrs Thornton raised her chin, ready to defend herself and her actions, but Margaret didn’t give her the chance. Rising to her feet, she replied hurriedly, “She hasn’t offended me. She’s only spoken her mind, which is a sign of respect in itself, and I’m afraid I’ve spoken to her far more harshly in the past. I appreciate her honesty, as it allows us to come to terms with each other without risk of misunderstanding.”

She was babbling, speaking for too quickly for the situation as she felt mortification scorch her cheeks. Had he heard her admission that she loved Frederick but would never marry him? The rage banked behind his eyes gave nothing away, whether it arose solely from his mother’s uncharitable words or if a portion of his anger was caused by her own foolish tongue.

Since their engagement, Margaret had treated Mr Thornton with trepidation – not for the sake of his person but in recognition that he was the reason why her life would soon irrevocably change. In her haste to smooth over the lingering tension, however, she acted without thinking, approaching him quickly to rest a soothing hand upon his arm.

The move, insignificant as it was to her own mind, captured his attention, and she watched as he bowed his head to stare at the hand in question. Margaret found her gaze following his own, and she marveled at the paleness of her skin against the harsh black of his frock coat. Her hand trembled under his regard, but she did not pull it away, and she saw that the anger had ebbed from behind his eyes when he lifted his gaze once more to hers.

Ever since his second proposal, Margaret had found it difficult to meet his gaze as unflinchingly as she had once done. Too overwhelmed by her own shame, her uncertainty, the fear of what he might see in her face as much as she was confused about what she longed to see in his, it had been easier to keep her face averted, her eyes downcast. In her aversion, she had forgotten how hypnotizing his eyes could be, how they captured her and refused to let her go. Staring into them now, she felt her breath catch and hold as he overwhelmed her with the desire to learn more about the man she was to marry. To understand the emotion flickering behind the eyes that captivated her so. To fully comprehend the inner workings of his mind and of his heart.

Behind her, Mrs Thornton answered her son’s charge, but she might not have spoken for all either of them seemed to mark her words. Margaret heard nothing but the steady rise and fall of his breathing, in marked contrast to her own irregular breath. She told herself she should pull away from him, but she did not as she said in a low voice, for only his ears to hear, “I didn’t think I would see you today.”

Something flickered behind his eyes, though what emotion it was, she couldn’t say. “There’s much to do at the mill,” he replied. Then, after a moment, he asked, “Did you wish to see me? I’d have come sooner, if I’d known.”

“Yes,” answered unthinkingly. Then, realizing the answer betrayed an eagerness for his company that was at best improper and at worst misleading, she tried again. “No. I – the plans for our wedding – there’s so much to do.” The list of decisions that still required her attention seemed insurmountable, never mind that theirs would not be as grand an affair as Fanny’s wedding had been. Although John had told her to make such plans as would make her happy, without the presence of her extended family and in light of both the need for expediency and the lack of sentiment that had led to their engagement, she had opted for a simpler affair.

His hand covered her own, trapping it against his arm when she might have realized it had lingered there for too long and pulled it away. “I have some time before I must return to the mill. Will you spend the afternoon with me?”

The last time they had spent such time together had landed them in their current situation, and the peevish part of her that railed against their forced engagement whispered that she should refuse him. He would have the authority to lay claim to her attention soon enough. But she found she could not resist him when he looked at her as he did now.

To her surprise every bit as much as it was to his, she found herself nodding in reply. “Yes.” An inexplicable swell of happiness swelled within her breast, causing her to smile up at him in unfeigned joy. Before she could question the cause for her improved spirits, she laughed and gave herself over to the urge to tease him lightly. “But only if you promise that we will speak of anything other than wedding plans.”

John’s face, handsome even in severity, was truly transformed by his smile, slight as it was. “I can deny you nothing,” he responded in kind. “Certainly not a request as simple as that.” Leading her into the hall, he paused long enough to assist her with her outerwear, and then he threw open the door and led her outside.

It would be several minutes before Margaret realized she had left without wishing Mrs. Thornton goodbye.

#like moths to a flame #fanfiction #my fanfiction #north and south #john thornton #margaret hale #john x margaret

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mr-entj · 7 years ago

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Did the qualities you've mentioned (emotional self-regulation, mental fortitude) come naturally to you? Was it something you had to develop? How can I develop them? Thanks for dedicating your time to this blog. Helped a lot.

No, I was disciplined, focused, and ambitious from a young age but I struggled with anger management in my younger years and my weakness was emotional self-regulation. I had to develop these traits over the years– this is how I did it.

On developing emotional self-regulation

1. Surround yourself with good people. This should be inherently obvious but it’s not. Being surrounded by batshit crazy and toxic people when you’re trying to learn emotional self-regulation is like a drug addict trying to get clean by living in a drug den filled with crackheads. Good friends, good family members, good mentors, good people who are calm, mature, kind, and show proper restraint will set a superior example and provide the ideal environment for you to succeed. They’ll support you in your journey, cheer you on when you succeed, and pick you up when you fall.

Avoid people that:

Enjoy seeing you do well as long as you don’t do better than them. They will put a ceiling on your growth, always, due to jealousy.

Constantly pull you into drama and immature fuckery (”Hey, did you hear what John said about you! Oh my god, that bastard! Let’s go get him!”, insert that friend who breaks up and makes up with his/her significant other every week and pulls everyone into the drama). You will always be in a constant state of conflict.

Have irregular, erratic, and unpredictable shifts in emotions and behaviors aka their kindness or cruelty is dependent on random variables instead of anything you specifically did. You will always been in a constant state of stress and paranoia.

Threaten, blackmail, guilt trip, manipulate, or give you ultimatums.

2. Gain perspective. The internet is a lawless land, it’s easy to get lost in a place where up is down, down is up, right is wrong, and wrong is right. It’s easy to get disoriented in a place where there’s no accountability and where anonymity allows people to be especially vicious without repercussions. Log off Tumblr right now, turn off your computer, go outside, go play with your pets, go hang out with friends, go take a road trip, go call your grandma, go volunteer at a soup kitchen, an animal shelter, a battered women’s shelter, a hospital, something– and reconnect with other human beings to gain perspective on what’s important in life.

My career in healthcare has put me in hospitals, HIV clinics, and cancer infusion centers across the country where I’m regularly exposed to patients with thinning hair, rotting teeth, burnt flesh, missing limbs, and shriveled bodies. These are real people with real problems and they go through their suffering with more dignity and grace than how some people on the internet deal with online trolls and that one time someone insulted their blog post.

This will hopefully accomplish three things:

You’ll learn that whatever someone says or does to you in real life or on Tumblr/Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat/School/AIM/Tinder/whatever is completely irrelevant in the whole scheme of life so you can control your reaction better moving forward.

You’ll gain the courage and motivation to prioritize the things most important to you in life because time is precious, life is precious. Use your time and energy on something you’ll be proud to have at the end of the day, don’t fight battles with no rewards.

You’ll feel pride and a sense of accomplishment that you volunteered time to a good cause that made a difference in the lives of others.

3. Control your ego but stand your ground. Understand that what someone says about you or does to you rarely has any impact or importance if you’re truly a good person. If you’re surrounded by loyal friends and you know the true nature of your character then disparaging comments, gossip, and shit talking are just white noise. They bounce right off like raindrops off armor. Crazy people are highly combustible so stand clear when they inevitably explode– never back down or cower, but also never engage.

4. Gratitude. Learn it.

On developing discipline, focus, and resilience

1. Control your sleep schedule. Go to bed and wake up the same time every day because people who have erratic sleep schedules tend to have discipline and focus issues. If you’re sleep deprived and fatigued, you’ll have low energy, moodiness, and physical health problems that will make it difficult to get anything productive done.

2. Eat properly. Treat your brain and your body like fine instruments, they need to be maintained properly for maximum performance. People with hunger pains, low blood sugar, dizziness, and other issues related to poor nutrition are at an immediate functional disadvantage.

3. Exercise regularly. Athletes are incredibly disciplined and focused because they’re able to practice and maintain long-term commitment to activities that aren’t fun. Exercise sucks, it’s a pain, it’s not pleasant, but it’s good for you and if you can bite the bullet and get it done regularly you’ll be able to build good habits that extend to other areas of your life. And of course, exercise increases stamina and energy.

4. Take up a hobby you love that requires repetition and practice to master. These hobbies can include art (drawing, graphic design, painting, pottery), music (piano, guitar, violin), sports (tennis, golf, basketball, hockey), and technical skills (programming, html). Then do it. Everything is most difficult at the very beginning and if you can push yourself over the learning threshold to achieve proficiency at something then you’ve climbed a mountain. From there, you’ll be able to climb many more.

#motivation #focus #success #life #death #love #anger management #perspective #emotional self-regulation #faq #personal #skills #discipline #control #maturity #growth

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bloggatersgonnagateuniverse-blog · 7 years ago

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The ancients’ secret, chapter 1

Her soggy eyes glanced her room, Hayley was crying as if this was the last time she would see that picture again. It was not something rare, she has been weeping all morning because she was leaving home for an expedition to an unknown place. However, those were not tears of sadness like when her father insisted that she should do her homework. Those were, in fact, tears of joy, because she could not believe still that she was accepted in such great expedition, since she thought that for being General O’Neill’s child, she wasn’t allowed to be in a military position near her own father. Against all odds, she was fairly accepted, needless to say she was also the valedictorian of one of the best institutes in the world.

Hayley O’Neill is not Jack O’Neill’s biological daughter, she was raised by the General after being the last survivor of a planet massacred by the Goa’ulds when she was just a baby. She has a strong character; if somebody hurts or lashes her family or her team, she tends to use sarcasm as a mechanism of defense. Besides, her IQ is extremely high, although it often gets wasted. Her hair is golden and when she looks at the sky, you could not tell if those where her iris or the arch of heaven. She is 5’ 3’’ feet tall and neither fat neither skinny, she had a complex body for her height.

She wanted to pack up as soon as possible, she wasn’t comfortable with her father because they recently have had an argument about the dangers of this expedition. He did not want her to go to Atlantis, the knew the risk of that. Besides, he was afraid for her daughter, that she suffered as he had suffered, he did not want to wait for a phone call from his job with bad news, telling him that his daughter was in a coma or worst, dead. With Hayley, Jack had become overprotective and she tried her best to understand his actions, he had never overcome what happened to Charlie and, of course, repeating memories was not on his duties.

When she was packing, Jack entered the room after knocking at the door. He knew it was forbidden to enter her room without asking, unless he wanted to face her fury. Even though the door was open, she got mad again, she wasn’t happy at him so she answered rudely:

‘What do you want, dad?’

The General looked sadly at her when facing her bad temper, it was a bit unfair to have an argument with her about her dreams, but he felt there were several reasons to do so. He couldn’t help to reach and hug her when he answered her question, full of affection, as any parent would do:

‘Kid, I am so sorry. I didn’t want to be so hard on you, not even argue with you. It’s just… You know what I think of working on the Stargate Command, of what it means if you go.’ Jack tried not to cry in front of her, so he did his best to maintain calm when he faced her. ‘On the other hand, though, I had been talking with John Sheppard. Do you remember him? This man… he used to come home quite a lot, when you were little you were always asking for the Major, it seemed as if you had a little crush on him.’ In that very moment, Hay couldn’t avoid blushing and hitting her father with the pillow. Jack couldn’t stop laughing at that moment. ‘Let’s be serious for once, please. He has told me that you are going to be okay by his side, and he will talk with Elisabeth in order to be your direct boss.’

Hayley, when hearing Sheppard’s name, got so excited: when she was just a little kid, she was madly in love with him, her father was absolutely right. In fact, she enrolled on the army at an early age because she wanted to be like the great John Sheppard. She never forgot that name; she never told her father, but she had a picture with him in her room, to which she wished goodnight. She couldn’t help to hug her father, although this time she did it with pure happiness, besides, she proved that emotion with her following words. Nevertheless, she didn’t use that rude tone but so much energy between her lips:

‘Thank you, thank you, daddy. I promise I call to the Stargate Command at least twice a week’ the young woman peeked at her watch, they had just an hour to go, and he was the driver. ‘C’mon mister O’Neill! Turn on the engines, I don’t want to be late and get lost with so many people.’

Jack laughed and went to get the car ready, Hayley stayed a little longer to finish packing, because talking with her father turned out to be a delay. She looked one last time at the door on her wardrobe. It was the hiding spot of her biggest treasure: a very special picture of John Sheppard and her. She kissed it and sprinted out to the car, destination: Stargate Command.

They were all excited for that greater adventure coming up in Atlantis, it was something new for them, everyone could tell. Hayley and Jack arrived a bit late, in the control room Doctor Elisabeth Weir was waiting nervously. The General tried to apologize, but Hayley stopped him because she did not want him to act for her anymore, which made the Doctor smile:

‘Worry no more, soldier O’Neill’ said Doctor Weir, at the same time she indicated with a gesture to remain calm. ‘You will be traveling with Major Sheppard until we reach Atlantis, it will be a short trip, but organization is organization.’ Doctor Weir was going to give further explanations about the expedition, but she was interrupted by Doctor Jackson, who suddenly appeard to rush them up, so Elisabeth talked to the team straightforward, after saying some last words to Hay.

‘We will talk about everything when we reach Atlantis. It was a pleasure to finally meet you.’ Hayley smiled kindly and copied her words, but the Doctor wasn’t listening anymore.

Hayley, before reaching the Stargate, said goodbye to her father and Daniel with a big hug. Samantha Carter couldn’t be there for personal reasons, so Hay asked her father to give Carter some kisses from her. Jack was about to cry, although he played the strong boy and let Jackson to cry for him. Hay had to hug Daniel once more, crying with him as well, even Jack finally teared up in that moment. After that fully emotive goodbye, Major Sheppard indicated Hayley to come along, and Hayley tried her best not to faint for being in his presence.

When the last one of the team crossed, Hayley and Jack crossed their looks, they were saying goodbye once more. She couldn’t keep it on, after all, it was time to leave, time to go through the stargate and start a new adventure on Atlantis.

xxxx

“Tick..., tack, tick..., tack, tick..., tack”

That sound was madness, but more exasperating would be a complete silence. The class was focused in one thing and one thing only: the paper which will decide if they pass that subject. The faces of the young students were such an exhibition on the strongest emotions of humankind. A boy on the first line was answering the questions extremely fast, with an unhealthy position of his back, his neck almost upside down and his tongue resting in one side, being bitten by his owner as if he was a little child drawing. A youngster was crying on the corner, and another one was lying on his desk sleeping, probably... The teacher was sick of moving around watching the class to avoid any short of cheating, and he stayed looking at the infinity, wishing the hour could finish as soon as possible.

That was the great opportunity of Edward. That boy, who had finished his exam centuries ago, took a piece of paper from his suit jacket and put it on his exam questions. There was no worth in copying right now. Edward hated archaeo-biology, but not for its content. That exam was focused on bones’ classification and Edward learned that lesson one boring day during the last course of primary education. In fact, he hated that subject for his professor. He was always saying that Edward was useless, he wasn’t meat for this degree, he will never be some one to remember. That boy, still innocent and full of strong emotions, used to cry for it, and get disappointment for his choice of career.

If any luck, he actually had a professor who’d pushed him forward. That professor proposed him a mental exercise, a riddle to test him: he had invented a language which Edward had to unravel clueless. And Edward, in the middle of an anatomy exam, discovered how to use that invented language and how his teacher had created it; from which languages it came from… everything.

The alarm sounded loudly in each four walls and reached to their ears as a disturbing beep. Edward run away from the room with his precious paper on his hands. He slipped on the wings’ floor and climbed the stairs jumping some steps on the way, stepping hard with his white converse. The boy forgot to knock at the door, he even forgot how to breath after that run.

‘Doctor Jackson! I… I have it.’ The young man lowed his enthusiasm when he realized his mistake: he has interrupted the Doctor, that mustn’t be done in any university, is so unpolite… His head went all dizzy imagining the worst-case scenario.

Doctor Jackson was professor on Egyptology and Cryptology. Rumors said that he was the director of an expedition in a conflictive area, and that was the reason why you often could find him talking with some soldiers, who were part of his team as a defense line. Therefore, it was quite strange to find professor Jackson at the university. Edward was lucky. He met the professor in an activity for which he was selected some years ago, some short of gymkhana for nerds which consisted in decoding some symbols. Edward discovered that those were engravings of stars’ coordinates and that ignited the obsession of Doctor Jackson for the boy. Needless to say that Edward decided to study archeology from that archeology and hence, Jackson and the boy created a close friendship.

Daniel Jackson was growing his hair again. He said that that reminded him what it was like some years ago, when everything was different. He wanted to go back. He has always been showing a picture of him and a military friend of his in the desert, right after saying all of what I mentioned. He was a strong man, still having a childly face, though. He used to wear an army suit which his friends on the army lent him for his expeditions, and Doctor Jackson used to redecorate it with junkie-hipster patchs he bought on the internet, like sings as “SG1” or similar ones. Edward imagined that was the name of his bike-aficionado gang and he never believed there was something remarkable about it.

The professor stopped talking with the person on his office and fixed his eyes on the boy. Edward had twenty-one years, but he dressed up with a bizarre suit: a dark-green jacket with a red dying flower, a brown shirt, a black blazer from witch hanged a pocket watch and brown trousers His youth could be seen between his callow face and his white converse. He had a scruffy brown hair like his eyes, always shiny, always full of will to learn something new.

‘I’m so sorry, professor. My lady…’ he made a formal sing which actually turned to be quite messy. ‘I’ll come back later.’

The woman gave Edward a big smile and her eyes sparkled out of curiosity. Her golden hair, so curly and so wild, seemed to become even curlier when she show the boy.

‘So… This is your newest obsession, Danny?’ she smiled as a scoundrel.

‘Moore’ he said to the boy, ‘let me introduce you to Doctor Song.’

‘Moore…Oh, you are so polite when you are near my presence, Danny. Don’t worry, my child.’ She touched Edward’s shoulders, which made the kid uncomfortable as he looked down. ‘I was already leaving. Enjoy my little Danny, he is a wonderful company.’ She winked him and Daniel shaked his head, hiding a smile.

‘I’m sorry for interrupting, professor’ said the boy when the woman left. ‘But I had discovered it. I know how your language works, the wraith language, as you called it.

Daniel Jackson raised his eyebrows, questioning the situation.

‘It is… It is a simple patron of two base-languages’ he followed, mumbling. ‘It uses some Latin grammar structures, but its iconography is, nonetheless, a very imaginative alphabet, professor, I give you that. However, I got you. It’s a basic form of Egyptian iconography, like a draft of the real representations. Mixed up with a similar form of the language of stars you invented when we met in that museum activity. How much time did you spent in elaborating that language?’

Daniel had a total speechless expression, although he dared to ask:

‘How much time did you spent in decoding it?’

‘An anatomy exam’ he answered, proudly.

‘An anatomy exam, you say…’ he muttered. ‘Edward, I would love to fall back on you for something far more important that any test I gave you, far from university, or any job you could ever apply to.’

His heart skipped a beat. Was that his biggest opportunity? Will professor Jackson take him to his expeditions at last?’

‘I want you to participate in a very important project. You will be my eyes and my voice in a secret investigation. This is going to change your life, you are going to move out from home if you accept. You couldn’t see your family for a very long time, but you will be one of the most important explores in the whole universe.

‘The whole universe?’ He blinked.

‘Edward, what I am going to tell you is top secret. You will have to take an oath in front of the most important faces of the militia.

‘You are scaring me…’ the boy sneezed. He did that all the time, he had allergies to everything, but he used to sneeze when he was nervous too. Daniel smiled warmly, picturing himself on the boy’s shoes.

‘I want you to come with me to the Stargate Command…

…Edward Moore, welcome to the stars.’

#sg1 #stargate #stargateatlantis #DanielJackson #jack o'neill

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dalyunministry · 4 years ago

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Pastor. Johnraj Lamech

💎

Greetings in the matchless Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Topic: Biblical understanding and experience of waiting on God.

Rhema Word: Psalm 123:2 “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters, as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until He has mercy on us.”

Let’s pray. Our Gracious Loving Father, thank you for giving us an opportunity to meditate your Word today. Thank you Holy Spirit for helping us to understand your Words which are living and active. Please help us to live a life as per your Word Lord. Father, we give all the Glory and Honour to you Lord. We pray in the mighty Name of your beloved Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

The God of the Bible is known for waiting. He never acts in haste. His very name is the God of Patience as Paul says in Romans 15:5 ”Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus,” In all His dealings with man, sinner or saint, He is patient throughout. If He had not been so, everyone of us would have been perished long ago. As He is patient with us, it is only right that He expects us to be patient in our relationship with Him. This is what the Bible calls as “Waiting on God”. Yes, this exercise “Waiting on God” is quite essential for Christian discipleship and growth. Today, let us try to understand the Biblical understanding and experience of waiting on God viz., (1) WHY wait on God?, (2) HOW to wait on God? & (3) What PROMISES God Makes to Those Who Wait?

(1) WHY wait on God?:

a] To Know God’s mind:

According to Apostle Paul, “God has given us the spirit of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7) and “we have the mind of Christ” (1 Cor 2:16). This does not imply that whatever we think is according to the mind of God. What is meant here is that under the New Covenant, God through His Spirit puts His laws in our mind and writes them on our hearts (Heb 8:10). In other words, at new birth He gives us the potential ability to understand His mind. But the truth always remains that God’s thoughts are higher than ours as the heavens are higher than the earth (Isaiah 55:8,9). “The carnal mind is enmity against God” (Romans 8:7b).

Waiting on God is an exercise by which we calm our minds and tune them up to receive signals from Above. An agitated and turbulent mind cannot recognize God’s voice. Psalmist David prayed in Psalm 25:4-5 “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long.” This sounds like a morning prayer. Having made such a prayer at dawn, David had been waiting for the answer all through the day.

Remember, rarely does God reveal His mind instantly. His delays are purposeful. He knows when our minds are ready to respond to the revelation of His will. Our minds get prepared during the time when we wait on Him. We imbibe a spirit of reverence when we wait on God. In the same Psalm, David says in Psalm 25:12,14 ”Who is the man that fears the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way He chooses.. The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.”

Waiting on God to know His mind is comparable to a servant looking to his master for orders and instructions. This is pictorially illustrated in Psalm 123:2 ”As the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters, as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until He has mercy on us.” To hear the voice from Above, it is necessary we stop our ears to the voices from around. Remember the directions for the first missionary movement were received while a team of five prophets-cum-teachers was waiting on God with fasting and prayer (Acts 13:1-4).

Remember, we miss God’s will at critical situations just because we don’t withdraw ourselves for a while to wait on Him. We draw rash conclusions and rush into courses of action which are totally outside the will of God. The beheading of John the Baptist was not an ordinary news to Jesus. John was both a family member and a fellow minister to Jesus. The Bible says in Matthew 14:13 “When Jesus heard it, He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself.” When Jesus heard that His friend Lazarus was sick, He waited a while to know His Father’s mind in the matter. The four days of delay paved way not only to perform a resurrection miracle but also prepared a pulpit for Jesus to teach precious truths on resurrection (John 11).

When we are at crossroads, and there are more than one option, waiting on God is indispensable. Deciding between “good and bad” is easier than choosing between “good and better”. What is apparent may not be the actual. Only God knows which is best for us. He alone knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). We are concerned about the immediate but He cares for the ultimate. Many a headache and loss can be avoided if only we take time to wait on God to see how He would steer the events.

Eliezer made a trip to Mesopotamia to hunt a bride for Isaac. When he saw Rebekah, who was exquisitely beautiful and exceptionally helpful, he was quite excited. However, he “remained silent so as to know whether the Lord had prospered his trip or not” (Gen. 24:21). Interestingly, during that time, the groom was also waiting on God by spending time in meditation out in the fields (v 63). What a lesson for parents and youngsters!

b] To strengthen our hearts:

Discouragement is the most effective tool in the hands of the devil against the children of God. There is hardly any saint who has never been hit by the arrows of discouragement. Problems, pressures, perplexities and pains spare no believer. The only way to live above fear, worry and depression is to wait on God.

But for the difficult and dreadful terrain the Psalmist walked through, he would not have given us so many priceless Psalms. The call to wait on God is not so loud and repetitious in any other book of the Bible. Take for example Psalm 27:14, ”Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” David confessed that he would have lost heart if he had not waited on God in faith (v 13).

God alone is omnipotent. We all have weaknesses, but in different areas. God has blessed us with limitations and inabilities so we may walk humbly before Him and others. True we have our natural strengths and skills. When we wait on God, He anoints us with His Spirit so our accomplishments and activities for His Kingdom are acceptable to Him. When we wait on Him, the spiritual powers overrule our natural abilities. This is the meaning of the famous passage in Isaiah 40:29-31 ”He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” The fear-filled disciples became spiritual revolutionaries when they collectively waited on God for ten days and received the power of His Spirit (Lk 24:29; Acts 1:5,8,4; 17:8b).

The Author of Hebrews says in Hebrews 10:7-10, 12-13 ”Then I said, ‘Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll— I have come to do your will, my God.’” First, He said, “Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them”—though they were offered in accordance with the law. Then He said, “Here I am, I have come to do your will.” He sets aside the first to establish the second. And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all…But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, and since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool.” Yes, Jesus is still patiently waiting for his enemies to be made his footstool.

Remember, God chastise those whom He loves. No parent who spares the rod loves the child sincerely. During periods of chastisement, our hands become tired, knees shaky and feet faltering.

Prophet Jeremiah’s testimony is enlightening and encouraging: ”I am the one who has seen the afflictions that come from the rod of the Lord’s anger.. The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words…The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. They are new every morning… The Lord is good to those who wait from Him…It is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord..Let them all alone in silence beneath the Lord’s demands.” (Lam 3:1,19,22,23,25,26,28). There is nothing that strengthens our hearts like the remembrance of the mercies of God in reverential silence.”

The situation we find ourselves in may be just “mire and mud”. Yet, when we wait on God, He will not only bring us out of the horrible pit, but also set our feet on a rock, stabilize our walk, and stir up our hearts to sing! That is what Palmist David says in Psalm 40:1-3 ”I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.”

This does not mean we will experience instant deliverance always when we wait on God. Rather the night will shine as the day, and darkness as light! (Psalm 139:11,12). Yes, our hands may be fettered with chains but our hearts will be given feathers to soar high. That was the experience of Paul and Silas in the Philippian prison. There is no way to be triumphant in darkness except by waiting on God with trust and confidence. God will send His servants to encourage us at such times. We must not be disappointed if their shouts of prayer do not lift us an inch.

Here is the Scriptural prescription God gives in Isaiah 50:10 ”Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on their God”

Just yesterday we would have witnessed the power of God spectacularly in fire from Heaven. Next day we may be sitting dumped in depression. There may again be wind, earthquake and fire. Based on our yesterday’s experience, we may look for God in these elements. But He may not be there in any of them. This is where patient waiting on the Lord helps. He will speak through “a still small voice!” Sometimes God’s ways are “in the whirlwind and in the storm” (Nah.1:3b). Other times He leads us through “still waters” (Psa 23:2b). There is no stereotype with God. Only those who habitually wait on Him will not miss Him.

c] To fight the enemy:

It is only natural to run for shelter and refuge on the face of threat and danger. But in this era of swift and lethal weaponry, no place is absolutely safe unless God protects us. Because our times are in His hands and we are in his palms, we must learn to relax in any situation. The profitability of waiting on God when we are threatened and hounded is explained in Isaiah 30:15-16 ”This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore, you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift!” God says in verse 18 ”Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Yes, He would wait for us even if we would not wait for Him. What a gracious God He is! God further says In Isaiah 59:19(b) ”When the enemy comes in like a flood, The Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.”

God’s silence and slowness in acting on our behalf when we are under the severe attack of our enemies may be due to two reasons. Ether God wants to strengthen us by delaying deliverance or He wants to sanctify us. It is when we wait on the Lord we will understand the exact reason. This is explained in Isaiah 59:1,2,9,10 ”Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear… Therefore, justice is far from us, nor does righteousness overtake us; We look for light, but there is darkness! For brightness, but we walk in blackness! We grope for the wall like the blind, And we grope as if we had no eyes; We stumble at noonday as at twilight; We are as dead men in desolate places.” Remember, taking time to sit before God in self-examination is the only way to experience victory.

There may come times when friends and family members may turn out to be our enemies. Prophet Micah tells us what we should do in such a situation in Micah 7:5-7 ” Do not trust in a friend; Do not put your confidence in a companion; Guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom. For son dishonours father, daughter rises against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own household. Therefore, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.”

When King Saul sent soldiers to watch David’s house in order to kill him, David sang in Psalm 59:9-10 “You are my strength, I watch for you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. God will go before me and will let me gloat over those who slander me.”

Remember, the weapons of our warfare are not worldly. They are mighty through God to knock down the devil’s strongholds. We don’t wage war with human plans and methods (2 Corinthians 10:3,4). We sharpen our spiritual weapons in prayer and waiting before God with perseverance (Ephesians 6:13-18). The Lord of Hosts is with us. We stand still and know that He is God! (Psalm 46:9-11). In the passage of spiritual warfare explained by Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:14-17, five out of six weapons are for defence! This explains how waiting on God is the most powerful means of wrestling against Satan. It is by staying under the authority of God, we exercise authority over the enemy.

Remember in fighting the enemy, we must be more conscious of the orders of our Captain than our strengths and experience. Though David was a man of war, he had the habit of inquiring of the Lord whether to go against the enemy or not, and how to go about it. In the case of Philistines, once the Lord commanded him to go, and next time He said, “Don’t go”. David surrendered his logical and reasoning powers to the Lord of the Armies and that was the secret of his victory (2 Samuel 5:18-25).

(2) HOW to wait on God?:

(a) Pour out your heart before God:

Waiting on God is more than just praying. In prayer we essentially present our requests before God and seek His favour for an answer. But while waiting on God we simply open up and throw up ourselves before the Almighty. It is not an exaggeration if I say that waiting on God begins only after presenting our needs before Him in prayer. Waiting for an answer to prayer, especially for guidance, is often part of the answer. Here is David with his testimony and teaching in Psalm 62:1,2,5,8 ”Truly my soul silently waits for God; From Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved…My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him…Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”

Remember, prayer can be offered in a hurry; but without taking time we cannot wait on God. It is a time of uninterrupted communion in our spirit with God. There need not always be a specific subject to dwell upon. That is why Palmist says in Psalm 62:5 ”My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.” Yes, it is just waiting on “God alone”. Yes, it is an exercise of all our heart, mind, soul and spirit being filled with God Himself. It is fellowship in its purest form.

(b) Saturate yourself with the Scriptures:

Psalmist says in Psalm 130:5 ”I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.” Waiting on God does not mean passivity or keeping our minds blank. This may attract the devil because he keeps roaming about to occupy vacant and well-swept houses (Luke 11:24-26). We must feed richly on the Word of God during seasons of waiting on God. This is what Jesus did during the forty days He spent in the desert before He began His public Ministry. The time of waiting on God can also be used to ruminate the truths we study during our regular meditations of the Scriptures.

Joseph’s example: God had revealed His plan to young Joseph through dreams. Everything that followed in his life was just the opposite. The imprisonment in Egypt on false charges of sexual misbehaviour provided for him an excellent time to wait on God who never fails His Word. Joseph had written the vision clearly in his heart. He had been assured that the vision was yet for an appointed time; though it delayed, he must wait for it; it would surely be fulfilled. (Hebrews 2:2,3). The divine record says in Psalm 105:19 ”Until the time that his word came to pass, The word of the Lord tested him.” If we are really waiting on God, we will not employ fleshly methods to work out things for our promotion.

Let us read and reread Psalm 37 until its message sinks deep in our souls. David says in Psalm 37:7-8 ”Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm.” David starts this Psalm with ”Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.” (Verses 1,2), and ends with in verses 39,40 ”But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; He is their strength in the time of trouble. And the Lord shall help them and deliver them; He shall deliver them from the wicked, And save them, because they trust in Him.” Amen…Hallelujah!!

Waiting on God does not mean we stop working for Him. Priest Zacharias kept on serving God till his very old age while waiting for an answer to his prayer for a child (Luke 1:5-14). David once lamented, ”I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched and dry. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me” (Psalm 69:3) Nevertheless he kept on composing songs for God which became the Messianic prophecies and promises, like this Psalm. Servants of God down through the ages have testified that they had been soaking their pillows at nights with tears, but anointed them with the oil of gladness when they stood on the pulpits. This is the power of waiting on God.

Remember, waiting time is not a wasted time. The time spent in waiting to find the will of God will be saved while carrying it out. Waiting on knees brings us to our journey’s end quicker than walking on foot!

(3) What Promises God Makes to Those Who Wait?

(a) God promises to reward and bless our faithfulness:

David says from his experience in Psalm 37:34 ”Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land; When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.”

Jeremiah laments in Lamentations 3:25-26 ”The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

God promises in Isaiah 30:18 ”Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; and therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.”

(b) God promises to give us what we need to endure:

God comforts us in Isaiah 40:30-31 ”Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

Micah says in Micah 7:7 “ I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me.”

(d) God acts for the one who waits for Him:

God promises in Isaiah 64:4 ”For since the beginning of the world men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has the eye seen any God besides You, Who acts for the one who waits for Him.”

(e) Whoever waits for God shall not be ashamed:

God says in Isaiah 49:23 ”Kings shall be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers; They shall bow down to you with their faces to the earth, and lick up the dust of your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord, For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me.”

Shall we wait on God like King David and Joseph so that He would exalt us on His appointed time?

Shall we look to our Lord until He has mercy on us?

Shall we submit ourselves completely to our Lord to understand His mind?

Shall we wait on God till He strengthens our hearts?

Shall we wait on God to fight our enemy?

Shall we pour out our heart before God while waiting on Him?

Shall we saturate ourselves with the Word of God so that we can defeat the enemy with the Sword of Word of God?

Shall we keep on serving our loving God faithfully till the end?

Let us Pray: Heavenly Gracious Father, we thank you for helping us to understand about Biblical understanding and experience of waiting on You Lord. As the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters, as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until You have mercy on us. Father, please help us to know your mind, your perfect will, your plans and purpose of our lives, to strengthen our hearts besides helping us to fight the enemy Lord. Thank you Father for teaching us on how to wait on God by pouring out our hearts before You, by saturating ourselves with Your living Words and keep on serving You faithfully Lord. Please help us to be patient and stand firm, as Your Son Jesus Christ’s coming is so near, and run our race by fixing our eyes on you Lord. We give all praise, glory and honour to Your Holy Name Lord. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

God bless you all..

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hollywoodx4 · 7 years ago

Text

Sticking with the Schuylers (44)

I’m posting this from the bus to NY (!!!) sorry this one took so long, but I’m much happier with the direction this turned out than it’s precious draft so take that as you will.

[Edit: I finally fixed the formatting-sorry about that nightmare!]

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Tagging: @linsnavi @butlinislin @oosnavi @adothoe

The hot compression of a faux leather skirt has begun to take its toll on Eliza, who stretches her calves in hopes of a burst of relief. It maneuvers the wave of her muscles with a crinkling protest, a lacy top clinging to her physique with a hold she hasn’t quite gotten used to. The slight chill of the air flows through the room and soothes the mugginess of backstage.

“Are you dying yet?” Peggy’s voice, loud and playful, carries across the room with ease. The issue of leather unencumbers her although she has been outfitted in a jumpsuit crafted entirely from the material. She holds a drumstick in each hand, twirling them between her fingers with ease before tapping them against an extra amp. The rhythm is familiar, a song they had crafted together, and Eliza hums the tune while she adjusts her fishnets.

“The crowd is huge tonight.” Angelica’s mass of well-tamed curls pokes out from behind the curtain; the muffled sounds of their opening act receiving mass amounts of applause is a comfort. Angelica hadn’t been too sure about hiring some boy band to back them, but The Rev Squad seems to be getting the praise Eliza had imagined upon convincing her sisters to hire the band.

Eliza adjusts the strap of her electric guitar over her shoulder, her grin wild and untamed as their opening act clamors off the stage. They’re still on an evident high from the crowd’s love, whooping and hollering. Their confidence clashes with the anxiety that still radiates from the Schuyler sisters, the juxtaposition evident. The boys are a mess of sweat and flyaway hairs, water splashing from opened bottles onto their reddened faces. Angelica lets out a hint of a smile before looking away, getting into her own headspace with deep breaths and a few words muttered under confident breaths. Peggy joins their fight, running and hiding with three opened bottles of water around a corner.

Eliza, like her eldest sister, finds herself far too occupied to engage in their games. However instead of moving for a silent confidence boost, her eyes are trained on the last band member to exit the stage. The Rev Squad stylist has dressed each of its members in a suit of varying colors. There’s Lafayette, in a full red ensemble to match the unwavering flame of pride in his eyes. Herc is in bright blue, with a t-shirt underneath (presumably to stop the sweating their last round of outfits had brought him, which he’d gently and apologetically complained about just once). It matches the sweatband he prefers to wear around his head and throw out to the audience each night as their fanbase has grown. John, in his bowtie and gingham, fits the roll of the ‘nice boy’ perfectly. But it’s the simplest of the suits that has Eliza’s heart racing, practically jumping through her lace bodice.

She and the band’s resident bad boy (which she continually attempts to convince to her father is just an unfit label) hadn’t been seeing each other for long. Hell, she’d only met him when The Rev Squad first came to tour rehearsals up in California. The electricity had been too much to deny, and they’d hit it off as soon as she’d stepped into his rehearsal and he’d lost the words to his entire solo. The energy between them had lasted through Los Angeles, and Tulsa, and Tampa…and tonight, playing a sold out crowd in Central Park, those feelings were only heightened.

Eliza’s hands find the bare skin at the bend of his elbows, where he’d rolled up the sleeves of his suit. Her fingers grasp at the material, her lips diving forward to find his before he can take the steps to meet her. It’s a silly thing, this suit, and the way just two black buttons coax the fabric to hug his body in a way that makes her want to pull it off. He seems to want the same thing, the way one stage-sweat misted cheek presses against her collarbone, finding the best position to trail his lips where he knows it’ll drive her crazy. And then, he stops; a poorly aimed pool of water hits Alexander’s back, droplets of water coasting over his shoulders to mist the top of Eliza’s head.

The sudden mist is enough to jolt her awake, brushing at her face and casting a quizzical glance at her hands when they come up completely dry. The dream had been so lucid that even the space on either side of her hips is still fuzzy with the static energy of Alexander’s touch. Closing her eyes, Eliza wills herself to drift back into the world she had so unwillingly left, the tune of an unknown song stuck in an elevator music aesthetic in the background of her mind. She rolls over, a contented hum leaving her system carried on a golden glow of happiness. Her nose meets the feeling of bare flesh and an aroma of dark roast coffee. The lucid feelings of hands on her waist had been real, although Alexander’s arms are fully wrapped around her waist instead of just resting there. His eyes are still closed; they move rapidly underneath a thick blanket of eyelashes in a rare moment of peace. For a moment Eliza watches him-lets herself get caught in the way his relaxation fills the air around them. Her own eyes flutter between open and shut, a hazy side-effect of her ear against his breathing and his beating heart.

“Okay, I have to ask; what the hell were you dreaming about? I mean I know I’m a sleep-talker but you were sleep-singing…”

She shakes her head, the stray tendrils of her hair tumbling down her shoulder along with the lightness of her laughter.

“Can you roll the sleeves of your suit on Monday?” He moves himself away from her with a bemused expression so that he can catch her eyes, the drowsiness a welcome compliment to her upturned lips and reddened cheeks. Alexander chuckles. “What? It was a really good dream.”

She draws out her words with the low musings of a purr, running her fingers along his arm.

“I’m really glad you stayed.” It’s almost inaudible; she murmurs the words after she’s settled back into his chest, her stomach in combat between fluttering and flipping. The tender press of his lip against her forehead invites a wave of tranquility, transporting Eliza back to a time where she had been able to wake up like this every day. She catches the moment; drinking in the heat of his legs against her cold toes, his hurried heartbeat, and his laughter shaking the pillow of his chest. These are the feelings she had been reminiscing about. These are the things that turn her paintings gold and coat them in billowing air in gentle strokes of her paintbrush.

The temporary air serenity is shattered by the slam of her bedroom door against the wall, and for a moment Eliza has a flash of memory; their first time, her hot tears, his hands paving the way to a warm trail her mind turned into embers that stung her body. But this isn’t that time, this isn’t Christmas…that much is evident by Peggy’s yelp of surprise and the lurid click of the door being shut almost as soon as it had been opened.

“Let us know when you’re decent, please. This is important.” Eliza can practically hear Angelica’s eyes rolling in her head, her clear and decisive timbre allowing an impatience to drip from each syllable. She smooths down her camisole and pulls on a pair of shorts, shoulders lifted in a halfhearted shrug.

“Again; why did you give them a key?” Alexander stretches out over the bed when Eliza gets up, groaning before hauling himself up as well. He yawns, a break in the drowsy annoyance he had been displaying, and Eliza rewards him with a kiss and a run of her thumb along his jawline.

“We can come back to bed after, I’m sure it’s nothing. I mean, technically you don’t even have to get up at all.”

“Yes you do, Alex, you’ll want to hear this too.” His curiosity is piqued upon hearing his own sister’s voice, even though she wears more of a bitter tone he’d grown much too accustomed to dealing with. When he opens the door, when his eyes meet the sight of Peggy, Emily, and Angelica with identically crossed arms, he wishes John hadn’t introduced them at all. While Eliza throws herself into the mix he hangs back, intimidated by the wall of frantic conversation that erupts simultaneously, over-stimulating the flow of the room. Angelica’s shouting, Peggy waving her arms while speaking. Emily is shushing them all, spinning on her heel to give Eliza’s sisters an instructional glare as she holds a magazine out to his girlfriend.

He rushes forward as he feels the change in her demeanor; the way she grows silent and her lips thin into a line with a slight downward dip. Her posture sinks, her eyebrows furrowing as she clutches at the booklet with fervent intensity. And then, she drops it completely. Her voice is silent but her lips form one word; unbelievable.

“I mean I was going to come over here and yell at you about this but then I had to ask for your address, and by the time I got it and your sisters were done interrogating me my PR education kicked in and I realized that this is just a bunch of bullshit.” Emily shakes her head, her own copy of the tabloid rolled in her hands like a weapon. She bats it against her opened palm, a distraction. Peggy chimes in as she plops herself on the table, running a hand through her curls.

“I saw it on my way to Maria’s and I think I might’ve forgotten to pay the man at the pharmacy but I don’t even care, I called Ange as soon as I read it.”

The room stands in hesitant silence; the girls wait for Eliza to speak-to react, to say something more than the five syllable word that had never come out. She is immobile. Once she’s read the article the first time Eliza’s eyes fog over, the letters on the page blurring and dancing. They create an image where only the offensive words are sharp enough to read, stabbing in pin-pricks that coat her body in discomfort. She can just barely make out Angelica’s voice, muted by the ringing in her ears. Her heart has begun a sprinting pace, pulsing against her chest and pushing her down to the couch. She clutches the magazine with white knuckles until her muscles lose control; it flutters to the ground in a flurry of turning pages that breaks the silence with the cut of a knife.

Alex slips the magazine from Eliza’s hands, replacing its emotional weight with the winding of his fingers through hers. She draws in a sharp, staccato breath of air before holding it in for a moment. Her throat convulses with the fight of tears that threaten to spill from her eyes but she holds them there. Eliza concentrates on the warmth of Alex’s hand; the way her sisters have positioned themselves around her. She isn’t sure if it is for her own comfort or Alexander’s-he’s visibly tensed since opening the magazine-but it comforts her nonetheless.

…

“How are you feeling?” The question comes in the same tone it always has; genuine, yet slightly mundane. Lisa begins all of their sessions like this, after the meditation and the breathing and the necessary time it takes to prepare for the emotional turmoil she’s signed up for once a week. This week feels different; the meditation was longer. Lisa had let her linger in her own thoughts, the room filled with the trickling of her fountain and her soft and easy breaths. She knows she has to leave this state soon; to do the work she’s come here to do. She’s sure that Lisa has seen the article; has it marked somewhere in her legal pad in her broad, slanted handwriting. She’s sure that the topic is written in a lot of places at this point.

She’s spoken about this more than any trashy tabloid deserves.

There is no one word to describe the way her heart has been jumping around in her chest. A sentence cannot place the pin-pricks, or the headaches, or the nausea. She’s never felt less like herself than in this moment; even when she had been with James, even when she had been living in the hell he had crafted for her…although Eliza is still living in it-that much is certain.

“Do you want to talk about this first or lead up to it?” Eliza likes when Lisa gives her choices; she’s able to sit for a moment, to mull them over in her mind although she’s already made it up. She needs to talk about this article. She needs to thread the thick line that connects her past to this moment, weaves it intricately through her heart and into everything she’s been feeling since she read the words surrounding her name. What Eliza wants is to hide. This is too much. She’d felt so safe, so connected to the present that for once it had felt as though she had a normal chance at a relationship and a life outside of him.

He has excellent timing.

She taps her foot on the ground, a decision made by the way Lisa stares back at her. Her hazel eyes, set behind thin-rimmed cranberry glasses, search her for an answer in a mirror of a mind reader. Eliza doesn’t even have to speak her wishes out loud-that’s something she’s grown to love about Lisa. The middle-aged woman flips the magazine over, setting it backward on the table so that Eliza is looking at an ad for a double stacked hamburger instead of her own face.

“How are things with Alexander?” Good. She starts with the topic she feels will be easiest, the one that’s always elicited more positive responses than negative. And Eliza does smile, although it’s once of twitching hesitance instead of glowing peace. Her shoulders raise and collapse, and she picks at the hem of her dress.

“It’s weird not having him around. He’s very understanding, but I know that he felt a little put out by it all.”

“You’re not as happy as you have been in the past.” Eliza shrugs again, reaching forward to grab a package of putty from the coffee table. She stretches it as far as it will go, the sound of crackling air bubbles a familiar relief. When it has reached its limit, when it has been stretched too thin, she folds it back in on itself and repeats the process. Her body responds to the tense and release of the putty with an understanding taught by experience. Tense and release; the stress has stretched her so thin.

“We had a fight the other day.”

“About?”

“It was my fault, really. And I guess it wasn’t even really a fight so much as it was me overreacting. I didn’t see him all week-he wasn’t returning my calls, he was being flighty. And we all went to John’s for game night on Friday, and he was there, and it just set something off. I was just so upset that I hadn’t seen him so I invited him over after and we talked and he felt really bad about it all. He just got caught up in his work. And I mean, I was really overreacting,”

“-I’m going to stop you right there.” Lisa’s lips are scrunched to one corner of her mouth. She pauses in her writing, tapping her pen over her legal pad with unease. “Your language is very self-directed. During this story, you’ve said your name much more than Alexander’s. You’ve blamed yourself rather than seeing your own side of the story.”

“It was my fault, though. I can’t blame Alexander for working as much as he is. He’s trying to make a name for himself. He has a lot of goals, I can’t hold him back from that.”

“There it is. I want you to think about what you’ve just said for a minute, out of context, and we’ll come back to this.” She flips the page of her notepad, her pen jumping rapidly along the page before pausing completely. Lisa’s eyes move just above the rim of her glasses. “You and James fought a lot, too. Verbally?”

“Yeah.” Stretch and release. The putty pops in her hands. She rolls it between her fingers, soft and pliable. “We fought so much that I can’t even remember what our arguments were about. The…the bad nights always started with a verbal argument.”

There never seemed to be just one thing that set James off more than another; one night Eliza was too shy, the other she was a flirt, or a tease. Names were spit at her through darkened eyes and a posture that loomed over her own small frame. He had a way of making her feel dwarfed, as if her stature and her femininity and her disposition were a curse instead of a blessing. She had folded herself from the tension of the putty so many times that she had completely rearranged who she was to fit him. She hadn’t been Eliza back then, only a shell of herself. Then, she had been Eliza who belongs to James.

“I’m just wondering if maybe this language you’ve been using has been healthy…I want you to understand that this pattern of blaming yourself for every problem in your relationships is self-destructive behavior.”

“It’s not like that with Alex.” She sits forward in her seat, the putty still in her hands and her eyes narrowing subconsciously in a sudden feeling of offense. “He’s nothing like James. You told me I have to start letting go of people and being so clingy, didn’t you?”

“Eliza, let’s take a step back for a minute.”

“No, I want to talk about this.” Her heart is racing now, angered and tired and pulsing heavy against the cage of her chest. If this weren’t her heart, if this were a fist or a foot banging so forcefully on her, Eliza could imagine the stormy ocean of blues and blacks that would have already begun to form there.

“Ok, then. We’ll talk. About the article. You’ve read it?”

“Yeah. A few times.”

“And…”

“I don’t know.” Eliza is perched on the edge of her chair. Her posture is upright and dainty, although tainted with the draw of her shoulders to her cheeks and the tightness of her knuckles. The putty cracks in her hands. She doesn’t want to talk anymore.

She doesn’t speak. For a long time Eliza concentrates on the rhythm of her breathing and the trickling of the fountain because if she lets herself falter, even for just a moment, she’s sure that the inevitable collapse will happen. She longs for the safety of her bed, for Alexander’s sleepy smile and his need to order Chinese instead of pizza. The need for things to be different doesn’t solve anything, only fills her gut with unsettled breathing and the soft heat of anxiety, almost a familiar comfort at this point.

Eliza stares down at the photograph of the double cheeseburger, her foot tapping to the rhythm of an unknown, uneasy song. She’s been to the restaurant before-knows that their veggie burgers are nothing more than thin, overworked patties and wilted lettuce with too many unnecessary toppings. The photograph, however, makes her stomach turn in desire. There are perfectly crafted patties, thick and misted with beautiful dew-dropped juices. The bun is golden, almost glowing. She can almost hear the snap of the lettuce and onion just staring at the ad. But this is merely a façade, a photograph taken multiple times under the best light and with all of the circumstances ideal. There were things like photoshop, and professionals. This burger had everyone on its side. This burger had the advantage.

They’ve used the worst paparazzi photo of her on the magazine’s front cover. Her hair is a mess from the wind, mouth half opened in the midst of a word. Her name-her father’s name-is printed in bold letters next to James’s, just as it had always been. Just as it always will be.

She doesn’t want to feel the twinge of her heart upon seeing his picture again; she’d blocked him from all of her social media, completely shut him out. She avoided the newsstands like the plague, straying far away from any possibility of running into her past again. Now, she faces it head-on. The heat of Lisa’s eyes on her-watching her, waiting for her-burns heavy as s thick and consuming guilt crashes against her with a tsunami weight.

She doesn’t want to talk about it.

Lisa does.

“You’re stuck.” It’s nothing more than an observation, a smooth tone taking note of the way Eliza’s knuckles have relaxed to hold the magazine on her lap. It could be the way she rests it there, unopened. It could be the way her heart seems to have stopped altogether, although she’s sure Lisa isn’t able to tell, no matter how good she is. Maybe it’s the way her lips stick to one another, magnetized by the words she can barely manage to think let alone speak out loud.

“How does it feel to see his picture again?” Eliza feels like all she has done in these past few weeks is cry; for herself, for Alexander, for her future…the way her tears begin to trail down her cheek.

“It feels awful.” It’s the most substantial sentence she’s uttered all session, with downcast eyes and a wavering voice. She’s allowed time to think; to breathe, and to process the words running around in her mind. “I hate him for what he’s done to me. I hate that I can’t have a normal relationship with Alexander, who clearly deserves better than someone who can’t give him what he wants-what we both want.”

“And that’s a valid thing. It’s okay to feel things, Eliza.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired of waking up and being this shell of someone I don’t even know. I don’t want to fight with Alexander anymore. I don’t want him to feel like he’s not trying hard enough. I’m tired of being stuck.”

“There’s something else…all of this fighting, you keep coming back to it. Is there a possibility that you’re hinged on this one small fight for a reason?”

Eliza shakes her head. Her heart resumes its erratic pulsing. Her chest hurts. Her heart hurts. She knows what is about to be said before Lisa can find a way to craft the words eloquently, in a way that will be the least offensive to a clearly fragile Eliza. There is no need to skirt the subject at this point; it has been the trademark thought in her mind from the day she had seen the magazine-had seen her photo next to James’s.

“I’m wondering if this fighting is your subconscious way of punishing yourself, or trying to push Alexander away.”

She doesn’t move from her perch on the couch. The fountain continues to trickle. The putty is still in her hands. Her breath hitches in her throat.

“It’s perfectly normal…if you still have feelings for James, somewhere deep inside…this is a completely understandable thing, Eliza.”

“Can we talk about this next time?”

“You were with him for a substantial amount of time. It’s not human to be able to will that all away.”

Eliza pushes herself off of the couch, her shaking hands launching herself and sending her stumbling. She catches herself just before hitting the coffee table, standing before ripping her purse off of the coffee table. Somewhere, in an incoherent plane of existence, Lisa’s soothing tone is still moving along professionally crafted sentences, her pen a continuous attachment to her yellow legal pad. Even as Eliza knocks down the coat hook with her fumbling hands, even as she murmurs rapidly-paced apologies through her choking breath, Lisa continues to speak. She rises to meet Eliza at the door, watching her hastened pace careen down the hallway.

“Talk to Alexander, tell him how you feel. He can help you, Eliza.”

It takes her three tries to close her shaking hand around the doorknob.

In the silence of the musty hallway, Eliza sinks down to the carpet and holds her head, numb and heavy, in her hands.

In this public level of privacy, Eliza cries until the janitor comes to close the architect’s office next door.

A CHANGE OF HEART? Schuyler and Reynolds reunited

Elizabeth Schuyler is making headlines again-this time for her newly rekindled relationship with old flame and political hopeful James Reynolds!

“She’s always loved him,” our snitch spills “it was only a matter of time before she came to her senses.”

The 20 year old senator’s daughter has been seeing fellow Columbia classmate 23 year old Alexander Hamilton, a fact backed by both her Instagram and Twitter accounts, which boast plenty of photos of the ponytail clad future lawyer. But our source, close to both Reynolds and Schuyler, has falsified these statements.

“[Hamilton] is nothing more than a family friend. She has been seeing him to appease his dream of a green card.”

It seems that Phillip Schuyler’s dreams of supporting the nation’s immigrants have spread to his middle daughter. But we’ve busted this front, and we wish #Jeliza the best in their rekindled romance.

Want more? We’ve compiled a list of our favorite James and Eliza moments throughout the years!

How do you feel about this rekindled romance?

#hamliza #hamliza au #mine: swts #swts

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paulbenedictblog · 5 years ago

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Fox news Re-drafting 2017 class: Bears pass on QBs - NFL.com

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Or now now not it's no exaggeration to claim revisiting the 2017 NFL Draft is a extra painful experience for Chicago Bears followers than revisiting Wide Bowl XLI, and doing so for this draft beget-over gave me no pleasure. One coping mechanism I desire in is to faux the Bears chosen Eddie Jackson with the third overall clutch and waited except the fourth round to draft Mitchell Trubisky. This construct of helps, but even so, it's tricky to have what would possibly perchance perchance were if the team had chosen Patrick Mahomes. Hell, even Deshaun Watson.

So, with an quite quite loads of to rewrite historical previous here, the Bears ... quiet didn't quit up with both quarterback. Gawk, I needed to beget this somewhat. However I beget have Bears followers will love the closing results.

For the file, I now now not eminent all the draft-day alternate swaps and true went with the dispute of the draft heading into the fateful day.

Novel clutch: Myles Garrett, Edge. Mahomes change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Chiefs in Round 1 (No. 10).

This would possibly perchance additionally seemingly trigger reasonably about a cringing, because uncomfortable Patrick mustn't be subjected to playing for the Browns, given what we absorb considered happen to assorted quarterbacks who absorb played for the Browns. And while I will cease attempting announcing Mahomes would absorb saved the career of then-coach Hue Jackson, I'm obvious Mahomes quiet would absorb ended up with reasonably about a success -- with the Chiefs, who would absorb traded a fourth-round clutch for him after two low years in Cleveland, paving the formulation for Mahomes to lead Kanas City to a Wide Bowl utilize. Real love he did this one year.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Bears (Mitchell Trubisky). Watson change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Texans in Round 1 (No. 12).

Right here comes essentially the most inviting portion of the draft. In real existence, the Bears traded up here for Mitchell Trubisky. Odds are, they'd perchance now not beget that all but again, though with standard supervisor Ryan Traipse, you by no contrivance know. As a Bears fan, I wouldn't be angry within the occasion that they traded up for Watson to beget their determined need for a franchise QB (which, trail, existed even after they signed Mike Glennon that March). However be unsleeping, the 49ers, quiet six months away from acquiring Jimmy Garoppolo, were additionally within the marketplace for a quarterback. Landing Watson would were substantial for them, so if we're going assist to that draft night, let's send Watson to Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch.

Novel clutch: Traded to the 49ers (Solomon Thomas). Kittle change into once without a doubt drafted: by the 49ers in Round 5 (No. 146).

This steadily is the perfect call of this teach in a non-Mahomes world. Kittle would be this form of substantial boon to a Bears offense that by no contrivance without a doubt recovered from sending tight quit Greg Olsen to the Panthers in 2011 because then-coordinator Mike Martz would possibly perchance perchance now not fetch a technique to suit one amongst the tip generational gamers at his area into his precious draw. (Even supposing Zach Miller change into once good.) While you are questioning, the perfect a first rate quit has ever been drafted is fifth overall, which has took area twice -- and one amongst these times came in 1961, when Chicago snagged Mike Ditka. Right here is one other relaxing tell: With the 49ers locking in on Watson, perchance it is the Bears who quit up with Jimmy Garoppolo from nearby Arlington Heights. Staunch kidding: All of us know Traipse will quit up taking Mitch within the fourth or sixth round.

Novel clutch: Leonard Fournette, RB. McCaffrey change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Panthers in Round 1 (No. 8).

I will are attempting and protect teams drafting as discontinuance to what they were attempting to search out at the time, so here, we will correct the Jags' resolution to draft Leonard Fournette in area of the working assist they must absorb long previous with. I'm now now not announcing the Jaguars would absorb long previous to the Wide Bowl with McCaffrey -- wait, that's exactly what I'm announcing. Whereas I love the perspective Fournette brought to the team in 2017 (be unsleeping him beckoning a Steelers defender he change into once about to stage?), McCaffrey would were instrumental in pumping up the passing sport, which change into once one amongst the evident outdated spots on a team that made it to the AFC title match. I suggest, Fournette did location up 36 receptions as a rookie, which is rarely all the time without a doubt low. However you doubtlessly have about McCaffrey had 80, effectively, that's a diminutive disagreement.

Novel clutch: Corey Davis, WR. Godwin change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Buccaneers in Round 3 (No. 84).

The Titans were having a glimpse to encompass then-QB Marcus Mariota with some receiving expertise, and so they doubtlessly would were going with essentially the most straightforward receiver to come out of this draft. I'm now now not announcing Godwin would were fair correct ample to effect Mariota's career, but would possibly perchance perchance you imagine how lit the Titans' bustle to the playoffs would were final season if Ryan Tannehill had been throwing to each and every Godwin and A.J. Brown? OK, so, that quiet effect now now not were ample to beat the Chiefs. However the Titans would absorb a dynamic offense heading into 2020.

Novel clutch: Jamal Adams, S.

The Jets did somewhat effectively for themselves with this clutch in 2017, with Adams occurring to alter into a two-time Expert Bowler and first-team All-Expert in 2019. Whereas there are some gigantic defenders to clutch at this point (collectively with the particular first overall quite quite loads of from the draft, who's now beginning to creep), it makes essentially the most sense for the team to follow Adams, who can beget so many issues for Quiet York defensively. No longer finest that, but he's been a exact chief, too.

Novel clutch: Christian McCaffrey, RB. Kamara change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Saints in Round 3 (No. 67).

The Panthers would possibly perchance perchance absorb perceived to protection at this role, but it gave the influence particular that then-GM Dave Gettleman wished to compose the on-ticket resolution to line up an alternative choice to rising outdated working assist Jonathan Stewart. Kamara can beget most of the issues that has made Christian McCaffrey a success in this league, and pairing Kamara with Cam Newton at this point in Newton's career would were relaxing.

Novel clutch: John Ross, WR. Mahomes change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Steelers in Round 1 (No. 30).

The Bengals went into this draft attempting to search out abet at defensive quit, and so they must absorb stuck with that need in area of making an grievous whiff by picking receiver John Ross. Right here, they'll compose issues correct by going with Watt. I do know, that it's possible you'll perchance presumably compose the joke that, given essentially the most modern distress Myles Garrett bought into on the self-discipline, he would were the next member of the Bengals. However I would by no contrivance slump to compose that joke. As an quite quite loads of, I will point out that the Bengals already had a somewhat fair correct LDE in Carlos Dunlap. Watt would present Cincinnati extra versatility, thanks to his ability to play a pair of positions on this protection. No longer that I absorb to account for this clutch to you.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Chiefs (Patrick Mahomes). White change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Bills in Round 1 (No. 27).

The Bills fully scored with this clutch within the real draft, but they're going to must pay a larger tag for White this time around. No longer that somebody with Buffalo would ever complain. He is allowed a passer rating of 57.7 since coming into the league, in accordance to Expert Soccer Focus, and that's by some distance essentially the most straightforward of any player in the end of the final three years (minimal of 200 targets confronted).

Novel clutch: Marshon Lattimore, CB.

The Saints additionally did somewhat effectively with this clutch within the real draft, and Quiet Orleans is strictly the effect the 2017 Defensive Rookie of the one year will land all over all but again. Lattimore change into once very fair correct in the end of his rookie season, and you absorb got made the case to clutch him sooner than White in accordance with that first one year. Even supposing Lattimore construct of flattened out in the end of the final two years, he's quiet one amongst the tip picks in this draft.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Texans (Deshaun Watson). Garrett change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Browns in Round 1 (No. 1).

Howdy, glimpse: The Browns ended up with Garrett anyway, the utilize of a clutch they got from the Eagles in 2016 within the swap that allowed Philly to draft Carson Wentz. Now, I beget now now not deserve to compose it seem love Garrett is a low player. Obviously, swinging Mason Rudolph's absorb helmet at him final season brought Garrett some notoriety, along with about a of the issues he'd been fined for within the previous (most notably punching Delanie Walker). However, Garrett is quiet a exact defender. And if the Browns absorb an quite quite loads of to stroll away with essentially the most straightforward player of the 2017 draft and the fellow they without a doubt did utilize first overall, no one in Cleveland will complain.

Novel clutch: Haason Reddick, LB. Ramczyk change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Saints in Round 1 (No. 32).

This change into once such an odd clutch to compose, for the reason that Cardinals were within the aggregate for a quarterback. However with Mahomes and Watson long previous, there change into once no contrivance they were going to utilize this form of high quite quite loads of on the next simplest QB, Nathan Peterman. As an quite quite loads of, Arizona addressed a seemingly never-ending need by snagging essentially the most straightforward lineman within the draft, a bookend take care of who would possibly perchance perchance be dominant at his area for years and in actuality would absorb had a first rate case to be the No. 3 overall clutch. On this teach, the Cardinals absorb landed reasonably a utilize.

Novel clutch: Derek Barnett, DE. Kupp change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Rams in Round 3 (No. 69).

Just like the Cardinals and offensive-line abet, the Eagles seemingly absorb a perennial need for a gigantic receiver. One of my well-liked receivers headed into the 2017 NFL Draft change into once Cooper Kupp, a standout at Eastern Washington who proved he would possibly perchance perchance play within the Senior Bowl. However then his 40-yard-fling time at the NFL Scouting Mix wasn't that massive, and of us jumpy. Which change into once construct of dead. Attributable to I would continuously lean in direction of the guys who without a doubt played effectively on the self-discipline over someone who seemed fair correct working around in his undies in Indianapolis. Kupp would beget now now not absorb any doubt flourished with Doug Pederson and Carson Wentz in Philly.

Novel clutch: Malik Hooker, S. Jackson change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Titans in Round 1 (No. 18).

The Colts went into the draft with a substantial need at cornerback, so it change into once a gentle-weight surprise once they without a doubt went with Hooker. The Colts can present a utilize to by going as a change with Jackson, a player with whom they've change into reasonably familiar in the end of the final couple of years. Jackson struggled in the end of the early portion of his career, but he change into once instrumental within the Titans' playoff bustle, and his presence would without a doubt be welcomed in Indianapolis.

Novel clutch: Marlon Humphrey, CB.

The Ravens had a substantial need at receiver headed into 2017 following the retirement of Steve Smith (who's now my co-worker!). So perchance one amongst the available receivers left on the board would compose reasonably about a sense. However then you be unsleeping that in case you saw Cleveland : drafting quarterbacks as an SAT analogy ask, Baltimore : drafting receivers would possibly perchance perchance were an acceptable reply. So, as a change, the Ravens add a player they already know goes to slot in completely with this team.

Novel clutch: Jonathan Allen, DE. King change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Chargers in Round 5 (No. 151).

Speaking of teams that absorb struggled to draft wide receivers, here come the Redskins. It would possibly perchance perchance perchance compose sense for them to utilize one amongst essentially the most straightforward remaining receivers at this point. However to what quit? To illustrate they utilize Kenny Golladay. Neatly, 2017 change into once Kirk Cousins' closing season in Washington, and Golladay struggled in the end of his rookie one year with the Lions while playing with Detroit's version of Kirk Cousins. So why now now not take care of the need at defensive assist here? King has been a somewhat exact player over the final two years.

Novel clutch: Adoree' Jackson, CB. Johnson change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Rams in Round 3 (No. 91).

The Titans would doubtlessly be in a first rate role to transfer down, because cornerback would were their largest precedence at this point. However the team additionally had a necessity at security -- and I would desire Johnson over Eddie Jackson, because Jackson is the next free security, a area that is already occupied on Tennessee's roster by the huge Kevin Byard. Johnson would be ready to play his extra pure exact security area, the effect he without a doubt did effectively for 2 years sooner than an abbreviated 2019.

Novel clutch: O.J. Howard, TE. Cook change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Vikings in Round 2 (No. 41).

The Bucs went into this draft with a substantial need at working assist, and it's one they absorb got quiet but to take care of three years later (notwithstanding the are attempting and beget so by ability of Ronald Jones). Deciding on Cook takes care of this ache. I change into once within the NFL Community newsroom when this draft change into once going down, and the Bucs followers in attendance were going angry, hoping that the Florida Pronounce child change into once going to quit up in Tampa. He did now now not. Neatly, a minimal of now now not except now.

Novel clutch: Garett Bolles, OT. Jackson change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Bears in Round 4 (No. 112).

The Broncos' exact quite quite loads of of Bolles is obviously one which they would own to fail to take into accout -- love the principle season of Parks and Game. (A side tell for these of you having a glimpse to stream that prove: Staunch soar into Season 2, and that it's possible you'll perchance presumably be true pleasing.) The Broncos would possibly perchance perchance true tear along with one other lineman here attributable to the need. However having a glimpse at Denver's roster, Jackson and 2016 draftee Justin Simmons would possibly perchance perchance construct essentially the most straightforward security combo of 2020. I do know Simmons is at the second playing free security, and I true defined that Jackson is the next free security than exact security -- but Simmons change into once at exact security in 2017, and the temptation to position these two collectively is big ample that we can true let the Broncos and most modern head coach Vic Fangio kind out who plays the effect. They're shiny people.

Novel clutch: Jarrad Davis, LB. Golladay change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Lions in Round 3 (No. 96).

The Lions were ready to snare Golladay within the third round in real existence but will beget now now not absorb this form of fair correct fortune here. After a gradual rookie season (these happen), he's change into one amongst the larger receivers when it involves making contested catches, which small doubt brings assist recollections of Calvin Johnson. No longer that Golladay is at that stage but. However he's been a exact performer. Golladay location career highs with 11 touchdowns final season, to tear along with 18.3 yards per utilize.

Novel clutch: Charles Harris, DE. Hooker change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Colts in Round 1 (No. 15).

The Dolphins had a necessity on each and every traces, but while Dion Dawkins or Taylor Moton would compose sense, Hooker has fallen contrivance too some distance in this draft already. Reshad Jones missed 10 games in 2016, while free agent Nate Allen change into once signed as extra of a cease-gap measure. That contrivance Miami quiet would possibly perchance perchance absorb frail a player love Hooker, who has a knack for making huge plays.

Novel clutch: Evan Engram, TE. Dawkins change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Bills in Round 2 (No. 63).

The necessity for offensive linemen has been a routine theme for the Giants for reasonably a while. 2015 first-rounder Ereck Flowers change into once one amongst the largest busts in Giants historical previous, and he change into once seemingly by no contrivance ready to figure it out -- Neatly, a minimal of now now not except he landed in Washington final season. Followers additionally talk regarding the team's resolution now now not to draft Quenton Nelson in 2018. Dawkins would possibly perchance perchance now not compose up for both missing on Flowers or passing on Nelson, but he's exact ample that the utilize of the second overall clutch on working assist Saquon Barkley would compose great extra sense with Dawkins on the roster.

Novel clutch: Gareon Conley, CB. Mahomes change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Steelers in Round 2 (No. 62).

The Raiders were 12-4 in 2016 and were coming into this draft wanting a cornerback. With all of that being known, they obviously would utilize a receiver here, even with Michael Crabtree and Amari Cooper quiet on the roster. In fairness to them, the Raiders did clutch out a corner in real existence, though they passed on a future All-Expert (Tre'Davious White) in desire of someone who played true 23 games with the franchise sooner than being traded to Houston final October (Conley). So, it's now now not honest to compose jokes regarding the Raiders doing one thing a small bit of out of the box here. However I will command, with so most of the tip corners off the board and Crabtree heading into what would be his closing one year with the Raiders, JuJu makes a ton of sense. As a minimum to me. A 3-man rotation of Crabtree, Cooper and JuJu would were thrilling. And he would possibly perchance perchance absorb in the end been teammates with AB, a minimal of for about a months in 2019.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Browns (Jabrill Peppers). Moton change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Panthers in Round 2 (No. 64).

, it's relaxing to have Leonard Fournette here, because he's quiet on the board. (The Raiders additionally would possibly perchance perchance absorb jumped in one clutch earlier, but that would possibly perchance perchance absorb deprived us of Marshawn Lynch's stint on the Raiders, so no.) However without a doubt, the Texans absorb prolonged searched for above-serviceable abet on the offensive line. Plus, the team already had Lamar Miller available, and he change into once a somewhat fair correct working assist. Indirectly, if the Texans had Fournette, it can perchance absorb made fully no sense for them to alternate DeAndre Hopkins for David Johnson this offseason. Oh wait -- that quiet does now not compose sense.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Falcons (Takkarist McKinley). Griffin change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Seahawks in Round 3 (No. 90).

The Seahawks moved out of this role actually because there weren't many gamers left to beget their desires -- the largest of which, at this point, change into once on the offensive line. With out a technique to take care of that (I've taken trades off the board), I will absorb the Seahawks utilize Griffin here. That you just would possibly perchance perchance be unsleeping his presence on the roster helped location up one amongst essentially the most straightforward reports of the 2018 draft, when Seattle added Shaquill's brother, Shaquem. And Shaquill without a doubt broke out in an infinite contrivance in 2019, so I feel without a doubt fair correct about this clutch.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Bills (Tre'Davious White). Woods change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Cowboys in Round 6 (No. 191).

Woods is a first rate NFL player who's coming off his simplest season. He is candy in protection and, all but again, is correct a exact NFL player who would absorb helped soften the blow of dropping Eric Berry to a ruptured Achilles in September. However I price the frustration this teach would trigger a Chiefs fan, going from Mahomes to Woods. That has to be construct of a letdown. Like in case you went to a comedy club to glimpse Bill Burr, but as a change it change into once me headlining. So, I win that.

Novel clutch: Taco Charlton, DE. Baker change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Cardinals in Round 2 (No. 36).

The Cowboys had a necessity at security in this draft and landed Woods in Round 6. They'd absorb fortunately taken him here, as effectively, but were usurped by the Chiefs. I've continuously regarded as Baker a first rate player. He change into once fourth within the NFL final one year in tackles (147) and without a doubt improved below Cardinals defensive coordinator Vance Joseph. He has but to absorb an interception, which is k, because I feel love the Cowboys would fetch a first rate utilize for him.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Browns (David Njoku). Fournette change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Jaguars in Round 1 (No. 4).

I'm now now not obvious that I esteem this. For the reason that foundation of Fournette working within the assist of Aaron Rodgers does now not thrill me as a Bears fan. However it makes a ton of sense. We saw how essential a exact working sport change into once final one year for the Packers, as Aaron Jones carried Rodgers and Green Bay to a 13-3 file. Don't @ me on this. They'd were 6-10 without him. However if the Packers had a exact road grader with Rodgers in 2017? Neatly ... it doubtlessly effect now now not absorb mattered, because Mike McCarthy effect now now not absorb frail him accurately. However it can perchance were relaxing on Madden.

Speaking of Jones, I do know reasonably about a Packers followers will ask, why now now not draft him? Particularly coming off Jones' 19-touchdown 2019. However Fournette is the next assist, and he has shown he can additionally utilize the ball. So I'm going with the LSU product.

Novel clutch: T.J. Watt, Edge. Williams change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Chargers in Round 1 (No. 7).

The Steelers without a doubt did absorb a gigantic draft in real existence, with Watt and JuJu. And while they're deprived of each and every in our imaginary draft, I mediate it can perchance be somewhat relaxing to glimpse what Mike Williams would possibly perchance perchance beget opposite Antonio Brown in this offense. My conjecture would be that Williams would change into a touchdown machine for obvious, equivalent to what he did in Los Angeles in 2018, when he reached the paint 10 times.

Novel clutch: Traded to the Seahawks, then the 49ers (Reuben Foster). Awuzie change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Cowboys in Round 2 (No. 60).

Blowing a substantial lead within the Wide Bowl goes to compose it's good to exit and splurge on protection. In actual fact, the Falcons did that once they traded up for Takkarist McKinley. Which I notion change into once a first rate transfer at the time. However here, we're going with Awuzie, who has been extremely exact in protection for the Cowboys. He is now now not the second coming of Deion Sanders (oh, wow, that works as a callback for each and every the Cowboys and the Falcons), but he would be somewhat good correct here.

Novel clutch: Ryan Ramczyk, OT. Engram change into once without a doubt drafted: by the Giants in Round 1 (No. 23).

I do know I talked about no trades. However the deal that put this quite quite loads of in Quiet Orleans' hands change into once done in March of 2017, when the Patriots sent their No. 1 clutch to the Saints for Brandin Cooks, effectively sooner than draft day -- so this can stand here. I'm torn on what to beget with this clutch. For the reason that Saints absorb wanted a first rate quit ever since they traded away Jimmy Graham (oh yeah, welcome to Chicago this one year!). Engram battled injuries in Quiet York, but he's so rattling fair correct. If he would possibly perchance perchance protect healthy, he would be very fair correct in this offense working alongside Michael Thomas.

Put collectively Adam Tainted on Twitter @adamrank.

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nolimitsongrace · 5 years ago

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November 10: Jesus Is Not Ashamed of His Church!

Jesus is Not Ashamed of His ChurchNovember 10, 2019

…And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks; and in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man…. — Revelation 1:12,13

We live in a day and hour when some people act as if they are embarrassed to be affiliated with the Church. Perhaps something happened at their church that disappointed them with that local body and its leadership. But regardless of the reason, they have distanced themselves from the Church.

But I want to tell you that even though the Church as a whole has many imperfections, Jesus is not ashamed of His Church!

We may be tempted to feel dismayed about the carnality that sometimes seem so pervasive in the contemporary Church, but it’s important for us to remember that Jesus paid the highest price of all for the Church, He loves His people, and He still remains in the midst of them. In fact, when the apostle John recorded the vision He had in the book of Revelation, he wrote that He saw Jesus standing right in the midst of the seven candlesticks, which were symbolic of the Church. This means Christ was standing right in the midst of the Church when John saw Him in this vision.

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

Revelation 1:12,13 says, “…And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks; and in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man.…”

The word “midst” is the Greek word mesos, which can be translated as in the midst, in the middle, or in the center. Thus, this word portrays Jesus standing right in the very center of the Church. The seven churches in the book of Revelation were most likely the leading congregations of Asia. Yet despite their prominent status, these local churches had problems — some of which were of a very serious nature. Nevertheless, Jesus didn’t distance Himself from these churches. Regardless of their imperfections and problems, He stood right in the very midst of them.

This close proximity infers that Jesus is not ashamed of His Church, even though it is comprised of flawed human beings. In fact, having purchased their redemption through His death and resurrection, Jesus is delighted to abide in the midst of His blood-bought people!

In the vision, John saw Jesus standing like a Great Overseer in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks, His eyes focused on them. This explains Jesus’ intimate knowledge about each of these seven congregations and the reason He would later say to each of them, “I know thy works” (see Revelation 2:2; 2:9; 2:13; 2:19; 3:1; 3:8; 3:15).

This word “know” that appears in all these verses is the Greek word oida. It comes from a Greek root that means to see. Thus, the word oida in these scriptures describes what Jesus had seen personally, not what He had obtained from an outside source. This was knowledge based on personal observation. By standing in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks — or in the midst of those seven churches — Jesus was in a position to see everything that happened in those churches, both good and bad.

This should be taken as both an encouragement and a warning to the Church of every age. As the Head of the Church, Jesus stands in the midst of His people, lovingly overseeing everything that transpires, both positive and negative. He knows from personal observation every victory won, every misstep taken, every challenge faced, and every demonic attack withstood.

Regarding the congregation in Ephesus, Jesus could see their labor, patience, and intolerance for false doctrine — but He could also see that they had lost their first love.

Regarding the congregation in Smyrna, Jesus could see their tribulation and poverty — but He could also see that they were struggling with a fear of future calamity.

Regarding the congregation in Pergamum, Jesus could see the demonic activity that confronted believers on a daily basis, as well as the price many of them were paying to remain firm in the face of opposition. But He could also see that the damnable doctrine of the Nicolaitans was trying to influence the church and lead its people astray.

Regarding the congregation in Thyatira, Jesus could see that they were hard-working; that they were dedicated to works of charity and to serving people in need; and that they demonstrated patience and excellence in whatever they undertook to do for the Lord. But He could also see that a woman named Jezebel was seducing God’s people with damnable doctrines that endorsed loose living and ungodly morals.

Regarding the congregation in Sardis, Jesus could see that they had enjoyed a strong beginning in their faith. But He could also see that their steadfastness was slipping and that they were in danger of drying up spiritually and becoming completely ineffectual.

Regarding the congregation in Philadelphia, Jesus could see that they had rare opportunities and open doors to declare the Gospel. But He could also see that they needed to hold fast during challenging times.

Regarding the congregation in Laodicea, Jesus could see nothing positive. He saw that they were neither hot nor cold, rebuked them for their self-sufficiency, and pleaded with them to open the door and allow Him back inside their church once more.

In every case I just noted, the word “see” in the corresponding verses is the Greek word oida — which is used seven times to affirm that Christ knew all of this by His personal observation of these local churches. Christ was so close — so centered on these congregations — that all of these conditions were visible to His eyes. But notice this: The blemishes did not turn Jesus away. He still stood in the midst of the Church, for He loved it enough to pay for it with His own blood.

Likewise, Jesus stands in the midst of His people today, overseeing all the activities that transpire among them. He sees both the good and the bad. He sees their love, faith, patience, and commitment. He also sees the actions that are out of line with His character and His plan for the Church. And as has been true throughout the centuries, if His people will listen, they will still hear the voice of Jesus, urging them to hear what He is saying to His Church and to repent wherever repentance is needed.

But Christ is not ashamed of His Church — He is standing right in the very middle of it! In spite of its imperfections, Christ loves His Church!

If you know those who are embarrassed of the Church (and maybe that describes you), help them remember — or remind yourself — that Christ in all His holiness and perfection is not ashamed. Rather, He draws near to oversee the Church, to pray for it, and to bring the correction that it needs. Jesus has not abandoned His Church, and He never will !

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father, I thank You for reminding me of Your great love for the Church in spite of all of its present blemishes, flaws, and imperfections. Forgive me — and forgive others — when we have been judgmental of Your precious Church and have been ashamed or embarrassed of it. We have actually been judgmental of ourselves because we are Your Body, the Church, members one of another. You are right in the midst of the Church; therefore, I refuse to criticize what You have given Your life for and invested Yourself in so completely. I thank You for bringing correction and encouragement to my heart today. I repent for any judgmental attitude about your Church or its leadership, and I receive Your forgiveness. Help me keep a right heart attitude.

I pray this in Jesus’ name!

MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY

I boldly confess that I love the Church of Jesus Christ, and I am thankful to be a member of it. I regret holding a critical attitude, and I repent of it right now. I make the decision to change the way I see the Church and how I speak about the Church. Most of all, I make the decision to pray for the Church. Christ loves the Church as His own Body, therefore, I refuse to despise Christ Himself by ill-esteeming His own Body — of which I, too, am a part! Since Christ is in the midst of the Church, I set my affection and devotion in the midst of the Church. I acknowledge this, I accept it, and I conform my beliefs and my actions to this declaration of faith. With the help of God’s Spirit working in my heart and mind, I will maintain a good, positive, faith-filled attitude toward the Church and its leadership, especially when I see imperfections that seem glaringly obvious to me. Who am I to judge another man’s servant? Before his own master he rises or falls, but God is able to make him stand. My responsibility is to pray so that I am not judged in the same critical way.

I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Do you know anyone who got “turned off” by the Church, became critical of it, and, as a result, stopped going to church altogether? Who is that person? What can you do to woo that individual into fellowship with the saints again?

Have you ever realized that as long as human beings are members of the Church — including you and me — it will be flawed? If you think about it, it’s a great work of grace that Jesus’ blood washed us and cleansed us and that He placed us inside His Church. He accepted us in the Beloved and made us a part of His Body. Isn’t that a miracle for us to ponder?

If you’ve been negative about the Church and have spoken about it negatively to others, did you ever think about the ramifications that your negative words could have on others — how your remarks could also make them negative about the Church? If you’ve participated in such negative conversations, what should you do now to make it right?

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johneburton · 6 years ago

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Unbiblical “Freedom Theologies”–The Growing Rejection of the Need to Go Deep in God Arguments against the invitation to go deep in God are increasing…and it’s Christians who are leading the resistance. re·li·gion /rəˈlijən/ Man’s attempt to use God to get what he wants. Slap the label “religious” on anything that threatens your theology or impacts your definition of freedom. It feels spiritual. It is spiritual. The demonic spirit realm is filled with unholy wisdom, and very often this is the source of such a defense. Today’s rallying cry seems to be fueled by the desire to be free from anything that places restraints, expectations or requirements upon someone. All of that, to them, is religious. Many of the arguments are coming from those who have been duped into believing an unbiblical doctrine of grace. This false-grace ideology presumes that all has been completed by Jesus, and that nothing remains for us to do in order to be in relationship with him. Simply, his actions on the cross and at the tomb were sufficient. The result, if we only understood, they would argue, is that absolutely nothing can be done by us to increase our nearness to him, and, on the contrary, nothing can be done to decrease his nearness to us. Our sin is impotent. Our effort is both futile and unnecessary, and actually an offence to the finished work of Jesus. Their proposition is that we simply need a revelation of this supposed truth. When they discovered it themselves, burdens and weights were lifted and they began enjoying God as a good, good Father. They would say they do nothing, except believe and receive and live in that revelation. I celebrate with zeal every time someone I know encounters the immeasurable love of the Father! However, our experience in God cannot stop there. Those who do need to be awakened to the deeper call of God on their lives. You see, religion isn’t that which produces a barrier to freedom, it’s the attempt to use God in order to have the most pleasurable experience possible, no matter how selfish that pursuit may be. Those who wanted Jesus to be their king one day, turned on him and demanded his death the next. Why? They were not set on worshiping Jesus but rather on using him. When he didn’t deliver what they wanted, they decided to eliminate him for a better option. This is religion in action. 12 And Pilate again said to them, “Then what shall I do with the man you call the King of the Jews?” 13 And they cried out again, “Crucify him.” 14 And Pilate said to them, “Why, what evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Crucify him.” 15 So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd, released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified. Mark 15:12-15 (ESV) A SIMPLE YET PROFOUND CALL God is calling us into the deep. The only way there is through radical surrender, fervent intercession, living in the Spirit and unapologetic holiness. We must die daily. We must be living sacrifices. I’m writing this from my hotel room, and I’m watching The International House of Prayer’s prayer room live on YouTube. I was on staff at IHOPKC for a couple of years and it was easy to see one specific reality: Most of these people were devoted to God at a level rarely seen in this nation. They weren’t perfect people, but they were hungry people with a level of consecration rarely seen in the church. I’ve known many people who are offended at this. They actually despise IHOPKC and ministries like them. Why? Because their own level of passion for Jesus and depth in God are exposed as lacking. The thought that much is required of disciples of Jesus is contrary to their personal pursuits of undisciplined freedom. Understand, I know these words I’m writing are provocative. I also believe they must be written so I can most effectively make my point. As obvious as it seems, a growing number of people in this generation don’t get it: we can only experience the deep things of God if we are fervent, radical, surrendered and dying daily to the things of the flesh. There is no other way. There are no shortcuts. At IHOPKC and other similar ministries all around the world, people are praying 2-4 hours a day or more. They are allowing the groans of the Spirit to erupt out of them. They are devouring the Word of God as they allow the presence of God to permeate them in the prayer room. The Holy Spirit is speaking to them with clarity. The prophetic atmosphere around them is electric. Dreams, visions and a powerful anointing become regular. The chambers of their heart are opened to the searching of the Spirit of God. These people are undone, hungry, desperate and relentless. Yet, those who subscribe to the unbiblical “freedom theologies” that I addressed above somehow believe that they are as close to God as those who are giving themselves in a more deliberate manner, even if they make no effort in drawing close to him. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. James 4:7-10 (ESV) A POWERFUL ANOINTING I’ll never forget the time I had a regional prayer meeting in my church. A well known mega-church leader was in the prayer meeting along with several of his friends. I was praying with my eyes closed when I felt this intense wave of the glory of God wash over me. I opened my eyes and this man of God had just walked by me. I waited for him to make another lap, and as he passed by again, the wave hit me a second time. This happened several times. I knew this man knew God. There was a depth that was uncommon. He was living in such a way that resulted in a very powerful anointing swirling around him. I yearned to do whatever it took to carry that type of glory on my own life. I’ve experienced similar manifestations several times, and each time leaves me crying out for a deeper hunger and a more resolute life. Pastor John Kilpatrick was preaching at a Bay of the Holy Spirit remote event in Detroit. I was on the front row during this morning session enjoying the wisdom that John was releasing to us. Suddenly, in the middle of a point, he stopped. He simply said, “He’s here.” As he gazed toward the rear of the auditorium, I turned my head and looked myself. You could see a wave of God’s glory moving from the back to the front, row by row. Then it hit me. If I had an unlimited vocabulary at my disposal, I would still not be able to describe that experience. Simply, God arrived. There is no way that manifests except via a radically devoted life, a life that John Kilpatrick exemplifies. There are precious few who live this way. 1 In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” 4 And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. 5 And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.” Isaiah 6:1-7 (ESV) As we life consecrated lives, encounters are revelations will increase. The truth found in Scripture will explode off the pages. We will be undone. As with Isaiah, the revelations will result in a declaration of God’s holiness and our weakness and struggle. If there is sin in our lives, it will be instantly evident. Then, the fire will sear us and our redemption and deliverance will be made clear. We will live with a never-ending burning in our spirits and a tremble that marks us forever. If we want to experience the wonders of God, radical consecration is the only option. 5 Then Joshua said to the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do wonders among you.” Joshua 3:5 (ESV) THE TERROR OF HELL Not only will we live tepid, powerless lives that are focused mostly on our own personal experience instead of laying our lives down for Jesus, but those who refuse to consecrate and devote in the place of intense prayer and surrender are at risk of eternal separation from God. There is a terror of Hell that the enemy is making ready for them to experience. My book The Terror of Hell is a sobering message of how intimacy with Jesus and salvation in Jesus are related. In the encounter, I was dragged toward Hell. The terror I experienced was horrifying and fully indescribable. God spoke to me after the encounter and said, “John, many Christians will be shocked to find themselves in Hell one day.” It’s possible that a Christian may be in a good place today, but in the future they may grow apathetic or they may lose their first love. Here’s a portion of an article based on my book: A backslider is focused on his own condition, on his own comfort zone while a good man is in tune with the heart of God. His pleasure comes from intimacy with Father God. His pleasure comes from going where God is going, doing what he is doing and feeling what he is feeling. There is no sense of ease in the storm, but there is satisfaction and joy in the presence of God and by being in active agreement with him. This message is a wake-up call for every one of us. Many wonderful people will be terribly shocked to find themselves separated from God forever. Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ “And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ This scripture is in reference to those who would call themselves Born Again Christians. People who have understood and actually flowed in the power of the Holy Spirit. They understood their heavenly position and earthly authority as they overcame demons. These were your miracle workers. We need a wakeup call, church. We can’t presume to be in a place of safety simply because we said a prayer, go to church, give offerings and talk about Jesus. An intense pursuit of holiness and intimacy is required. This is a message that must be shouted from the rooftops. I can’t imagine multiplied millions of people who are current following Jesus in an unsaved condition crying out in terror one day, “I’m going to Hell? That’s impossible!” “And to the angel of the church in Sardis write: ‘The words of him who has the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. “‘I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you. Revelation 3:1-3 (ESV) WE MUST DIVE INTO THE DEEP 1 “And to the angel of the church in Sardis write: ‘The words of him who has the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. “‘I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. 2 Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Revelation 3:1-2 (ESV) Unbiblical “freedom theologies” reject the call to the deep. I’ve had people actually tell me that going deep is unnecessary. Others have called people out of the prayer rooms! They argue it’s an unnecessary practice if we truly understand that there is nothing left to be done. They say we just need to rest in our fully resolved position in Christ. Still others reject prayer movements like IHOPKC because their devotion to intercession is a devotion to unnecessary works. I’ll be honest with you, I never thought I’d see entire movements of supposed Spirit-filled Christians standing in opposition to prayer! Someone connected with me on Facebook recently and shared her desperation to see a prayer movement emerge in her region. She actually said she’s been involved in a church that’s all about revival, but they haven’t had a prayer meeting in ten years! I simply responded by confirming her suspicions: you can’t be a revival church without a fervent, consistent and supernatural culture of prayer. It’s impossible. THE SUBMARINE DREAM My wife and I were in a military grade nuclear submarine following behind a second submarine that contained my Father and Mother-in-law. I was analyzing the situation, trying to gain understanding on what exactly were were doing while my wife was playfully looking through the periscope. Both submarines were staying at the surface of the water, and they were being used as tour vessels. The atmosphere was playful and carefree. After a short time everybody was done playing and we decided to park the submarines alongside a long pier. We climbed out and walked down the pier and onto an ocean side boardwalk. There were people everywhere enjoying a beautiful sunny day. The restaurants and shops were full of activity. We walked onto the sandy beach which was about one hundred yards from the submarines. As we gazed out over the water, both submarines suddenly began leaving. They headed out toward deeper water. My in-laws immediately started running into the water giving chase to the submarines. As they did, I was thinking that it was impossible for them to get anywhere near to the fast moving vessels and I didn’t understand why they had tried. Then, my wife ran into the water as well. What I saw next can’t easily be described in a way that is true to the emotion I felt. The water immediately began erupting as if a powerful hurricane was upon us. I was terrorized as I frantically tried to devise a plan to help. What I saw next drained every bit of hope from my being. A whirlpool opened up underneath my in-laws and sucked them under. Then, a second whirlpool took my wife. I was screaming for help. A few people gathered around but could offer no help whatsoever. I called 911 and all I heard was this recording, “We can’t send help for an hour. We can’t send help for an hour.” It looped over and over. I knew that THIS was the hour. I couldn’t wait! The emergency was upon us. As I stood on the beach, hopeless, the scene changed. Only a few days had passed yet it was now bitterly cold and the water had frozen over. There was at least ten feet of snow on top of the ice. I started moving slowly, though as quickly as I could, through the snow in the direction of where the whirlpools were. I started digging ferociously and what I saw next will forever be seared in my memory. It was my wife, frozen. She was gone. I ran back to the boardwalk and into a restaurant. I saw someone who had tried to help previously behind the counter of a sports bar. He was a volunteer firefighter in addition to working at the restaurant. I yelled, “Help! Help! I found her! I found her! Come quickly!” He just casually said, “Sorry man, I’m working.” What? I couldn’t believe what I heard. I said, “No, you don’t understand! I found my wife! I need help!” He just said, “Sorry.” and then looked at a customer and said, “How can I help you?” I ran back to the snow where my wife was buried. I thought that maybe, just maybe, since she was frozen that there was a chance she could be revived. I’ve heard of people freezing and their heart beat is slowed to almost nothing before being brought back. As I was thinking about this I looked down at her, and there was a piece of paper right next to her frozen face. I picked it up. All it said was, “Wake up and strengthen what remains and is about to die.” Then I woke up. Interpretation When I woke up I was shaken to my core. As I started to pray and analyze the dream, the following is what was highlighted to me: The submarines: Vehicles represent ministry, and I believe the submarines represented the church. The church is not meant for casual play at the surface of the water. It’s a military weapon of war designed to move into the deep as it advances toward enemy targets. When the submarines left on their own, that represented the truth that the church will most certainly advance on its mission with or without us. We can be left behind as we continue our focus on entertainment and leisure if we so choose. My family: Of course, this was a hard core part of the dream. The first reaction is to do everything I can to ensure those close to me are doing well and burning hot for Jesus. Beyond that, symbolically I feel they represented familiarity and presumption. It’s very easy to presume those who are close to us are most certainly doing well in their relationship with Jesus—and then to model our lives after theirs. What happens so often is that we can adopt their pace and their level of passion instead of staying locked in, on alert and advancing in the fire of God. The pressure of maintaining civilities and false-unity can result in a marginalized, lukewarm, casual disposition. This verse best represents what I am communicating: …I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Revelation 3:1 We must be careful not to presume that we are alive and that others are alive simply because of the preceding reputations. There are many people with both a spiritual legacy and a name for being zealous who are doing little more than playing—and it’s possible that those people may be some of our closest friends, family, pastors and other personal heroes. Don’t measure your life by their grid. We must calibrate to the truth in scripture that will bring light to every issue of our heart. Then, we can be true awakeners. If we think people who are are asleep are already awake, then we will have no need to step into our roles as end-time prophetic messengers. 911: I was sounding the alarm in a variety of ways including by calling 911. I also ran into the sports bar looking for help. Both rejected the alarm. It’s clear that the hour is now for awakening though even those trained as emergency responders won’t see it. What was the alarm? Those that have a reputation of being alive are dead! Wake up! The storm: It was sudden, violent and really out of place. It didn’t make sense, but it wasn’t obligated to explain itself. If we would have been in the submarines AND in the deep, the storm would not have touched us. “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; Matthew 24:36-38 THE CALL So, what’s the call? It’s simple, and it’s directed to the church, to those who are to be in the deep: Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Revelation 3:2 Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy. He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Revelation 3:4-6 God instructed me to wrestle with Revelation 3:1. I've been burning hot for Jesus for over 20 years, yet, is it possible that my devotion is not as deep as I might think? Yes, it is possible. God didn't accuse me of being dead. He didn't reveal that my passion was false. He simply wanted me to always consider the possibility that my reputation will always be at risk of being more intense than my reality. …I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Revelation 3:1 It's time to go deep, to be awake and alert and then to awaken the sleepers…many who may have a reputation of being very much alive…but are not. It’s time for revival, not the promotion of selfish “freedom theologies.” This is the hour.

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reformedyappings · 8 years ago

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The Rare Jewel

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." - Philippians 4:11

Paul, the holy apostle of Christ, speaks thus of himself: that he has learned, or rather, has had to learn, to be content. It is learned, for it is not something natural. We all have to learn this skill of contentment by the Word of God and the Spirit's help. This contentment I speak of is specifically Christian contentment, a jewel with which only Christians can be adorned.

Jeremiah Burroughs (1599-1646) was an English puritan preacher who possessed in his character two seemingly contradictory traits: a fervent zeal for purity of doctrine and worship, and a peaceable spirit. He was outstanding among his fellows in the latter. He wrote the book "The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment", a most worthy textbook of the uninspired kind (meaning apart from the Bible) on this subject. He did not add an "Epistle to the Reader" as puritan writers like John Owen or John Flavel do, providing glimpses of the author's heart and mind as he presents his discourse to the reader, telling of the motivations of his writing. Doubtless, though, Burroughs had intended to instruct fellow saints who were downcast during the "sad and sinking times" (in his own words) in which they lived. He saw how a contented Christian could scarcely be found, hence the title of his book. I will draw mainly from his book.

We must begin with a definition of what Christian contentment is. I find it meet to quote Burroughs in full: Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God's wise and fatherly disposals in every condition. Notice it is inward, and not merely an outward calm that remains undisturbed whatever befalls. For it is a very easy thing to achieve, without any learning, to by sheer violence of will restrain outward manifestations of discontentment, while murmurings are festering inside the heart. "Truly my soul waiteth upon God" (Psalm 62:1), your soul must be at peace. It was an easy thing to appear calm when the dismissal time in BMT was continually pushed back and my platoon mates grumbled incessantly, but it was a difficult thing to control my own grumblings inside. Notice too that to be content, one must freely submit to and delight in God's wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.It is not only submission to God's hand, saying with a disgruntled spirit, "this is the Lord's will, He will do as He pleases." but submission made freely and delightfully, "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice." - (Philippians 4:4). We have to have this joy in the Lord always. It is easy to say that something is of the hand of God when it profits us, but what about when it is something unpleasant? When the stress of examinations was overwhelming me and my results were sub-optimal, I could hardly rejoice in the Lord, for I had not learned contentment. It hardly entered into my mind to see this as from the hand of God, and part of His loving dispensations towards me. Hence, I could not freely and delightfully submit to His disposals.

Very well then, so much for what contentment is, but is it so big an issue? It certainly is. Consider the words of Jude 14-16: "And Enoch also, the seventh from Adam, prophesied of these, saying, Behold, the Lord cometh with ten thousands of his saints,To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have ungodly committed, and of all their hard speeches which ungodly sinners have spoken against him. These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men's persons in admiration because of advantage." hard speeches spoken against God, murmurers, complainers. These are among the sins that are especially highlighted. What kind of spirit gives rise to these? A spirit of discontentment. Murmuring is a sin of great ungodliness, for it is rebellion against God. It is contrary to the worship of God that is in contentedness. In the worship of God we humbly bow before Him, and declare Him Lord, but in murmuring in our hearts we tell God that He has not done for us as He ought. Must God indeed give you good success? Must He grant you to fulfill the lusts of your heart? Must He make you free from the obligations of school or work? If in any condition we murmur in our hearts, we are accusing God of withdrawing His love (which is eternal) from us. Consider the murmurings of the children of Israel in the wilderness, and the judgment of God upon them.

Ah, some may say, you do not know what a terrible condition I am in, and you tell me to be content! You can most certainly talk about contentment when you are having peace. But be in my place, and you would not be talking about contentment at all. To such I would reply, that holy Scripture tells us to be content, and therefore all are bound to this. We all go through our own sad and sinking times, but even the darkest pits of hell on this side hell cannot excuse us from this duty. The duty to be content is upon us both in good times and bad. When I had to leave church early on the Lord's Day because the army forced me to, I knew I had to be content. No matter how much I was displeased at it, I had to delight myself in the Lord.

As you may now already know, it is a very difficult thing to be content, or else we would not have to learn it. So how may we learn it? By Scripture, and by a proper, Spirit-guided reasoning from the truths thereof. Burroughs gave many directions to the attainment of Christian contentment, I shall here only mention a few, particularly those which I have found most helpful to me in my current difficulty, and I trust that they will be helpful to you too.

The first is to consider the greatness of the mercies of God which He bestows upon us, particularly our salvation and the many spiritual blessings. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:" (Psalm 103:2) Remember His abundant goodness to us in every way, consider how His mercy faileth never. How can we be discontented with lacking what the ungodly can have, when we already have what they cannot have? "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:" (Ephesians 1:3) How ashamed we should be, if we vex ourselves over vain things when we have God as our inheritance! Do not we as Christians already possess so great a treasure? He has blessed us in heavenly places. Should we be angry at losing earthly things, which are so lowly and insignificant in comparison? In my life I have known some losses and wants, some of which put me in a state of depression. We all go through some of this. But why must we cry over losing a few dollar bills when we have a full vault of gold?

The next direction is to consider our lowliness, and how much we deserve to suffer and die. We are so lowly. What are we compared to the glory of God? We are mere mortals, we are weak, and our lives are fleeting moments. We are sinful and rebellious against God by nature. How great is the magnitude of grace God shows towards us by not utterly destroying us! And dare we now be discontented with our conditions, seeing we still have breath? "For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust." (Psalm 103:14) See how Scripture describes us. We are dust. Do you treasure dust? I think not. Yet the Lord takes pity on us in our ever-so-mean conditions, the problem being we do not see it, and think He ought to do more for us. Let us be like Mephibosheth, who said to David, "What is thy servant, that thou shouldest look upon such a dead dog as I am?" (2 Samuel 9:8) Many times in my work I feel so helpless against the winds and waves that toss and buffet, but I remember how I do not at all even deserve to be alive, and that it is ridiculous to be complaining when I am not in hell.

The third direction is to see God's hand of love in everything He makes us go through. We all know what Romans 8:28 says. But do we truly appreciate the meaning of "all things"? Not some things, not most things, but all things. The flood of assignments to finish, the ridicule you suffer for being a Christian, the loss of a gadget you rely on, not being able to be with the guy/girl you like, and so on. Anything and everything that happens to a child of God is going to contribute in some way to his or her final good. That is the precious promise of Scripture, and it is because of God's love for us that He makes all things work out for our good. Seeing this, how can we be murmuring against God in doing something for us out of love? It is difficult to see how a trial can be sent our way because of love. But on this matter, Scripture already tells us why trials are valuable (James 1:2-4). See then how gracious God is, by giving us reason after reason in Scripture to trust in Him and delight in Him. Murmuring on our part, therefore, should be inexcusable.

A final consideration I would include here, is that we have a sure insurance in heaven. Insurers pay us a sum of money (under certain conditions) when we suffer losses against which we are insured, like houses or cars, even parts and functions of our body. Christians have a full insurance, which is in heaven. All losses we suffer here on earth will be more than made up in heaven. "This world is not my home, I'm just a passin' through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue." Think about the words of this familiar song I quoted here. We have treasure in heaven, it will pay for all. What good can we possibly lose here that will not be repaid in heaven? An eternity in the presence of God awaits us, free from all evil, all sin, all sorrow! Will you then be discontented with your current state, as if this will be your lot forever? But a little while, and we shall pass through the gates of pearly splendor, into an eternity of joy. "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;" (2 Corinthians 4:17)

There is yet so much more to be said about this weighty subject, but I trust that this will suffice. I pray that the Lord would help us to learn this skill of contentment, especially in this age of abundance, where people expect much comfort and are apt to show their displeasure at the slightest of trivialities. I trust that you will find contentment to be indeed a very precious jewel, when you meet with sad and sinking times of your own.

"Do all things without murmurings and disputings:That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;" - Philippians 2:14-15

Written by: Asaph

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