#i know i do. and i'm sorry if it gets grating.
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I went to lunch with your mom today. I think it's the first time i admitted to someone other than God or myself just how wrong I was, how so much of it was my fault because of the internal battle I was facing. I don't blame you for the bad things you did, I did them to. I wish I could take it back but then I wouldn't have learned and gained the life I have. I am grateful for everything we went through no matter how bad it hurt. I'm really fixing myself because of it. I'm sorry, and I thank you. I'm happy you're doing well, and I kinda just throw these posts out to the dark corners of the internet but if by any chance you see this or it can work it's way into a dream or something, your mom loves the fuck out of you, I know you're mad, I get it. But she loves you, no matter how rough shit gets and she always will. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
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me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH
#i am so fucking tired of being ill#is it not enough that i have a chronic illness and chronic pain condition all the time anyway???#ughhh#i'm grateful because i at least managed to get to (most) of the gigs i wanted to this month#but other than that i've literally just been stuck in bed unable to do anything and my brain is starting to melt with boredom#idk how i can still not be well enough to write or absorb myself in reading a good book or fanfic or even be on here properly#but my brain feels like MUSH and it's so frustrating#i miss my little four walls men so much 😩#i miss being able to see the sky and see my friends and taste the food i eat#sorry i know i'm complaining#i just needed to vent for a moment#it's been such a shit few months anyway and i was already in a really rough spot with my mental/physical health for a number of reasons#so this just feels like the last straw#universe please let me feel a little better soon#i have things i want to do and people i want to talk to and fics i want to write#oh how nice it must be to live in a body that isn't constantly impaired in some way 🤦♀️#lulu posts
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SKZ Pack Chapter 7
Trigger Warnings: mentions of pre-rut, mentions Christmas
Three days later Chan had healed perfectly and was up around the house doing his normal duties. He was grateful to be surrounded by his wolves and his beautiful omega who he wouldn't leave alone. Chan couldn't, she was finally his and he was hers, so there was no way he would leave her alone. He would spend hours cuddling up to her, despite the whines of the other wolves. Chan did not care. He had also given them all the go-ahead to mate with her when they were ready or when she was ready, most importantly. This sent Jisung into a slight panic because as much as he was excited, he was nowhere near ready and the other wolves could see it. Jisung had been caught several times taking a peak through the doors or watching the way the wolves would kiss and caress her. He was silently but creepily taking notes of the way her body reacted. Minho had even scolded him the other day for watching Chan bury his face in their little wolf's wet saccharine pussy. Did he stop? No. He was doing it again, but this time watching the way Minho kissed her. Minho was more of a virgin than him and it annoyed Jisung because she even gave the elder a reaction. The way her ankle would wrap itself around her other ankle as she got excited. "You are a pervert," Hyunjin shouted as he smacked the back of the beta's head, causing Minho to glare angrily and Y/N to stand awkwardly in embarrassment.
Hyunjin crossed his arms in utter disgust at his shameless behaviour. Jisung was desperate for her, but he couldn't quite get her where he wanted her to be, there was always something distracting her. "You need to stop," Minho growled, turning his back to clean the rest of the dishes. "Sorry." Jisung whispered and scurried off somewhere. It did make Y/N a little self-conscious but it also didn't. She wished he was more confident in himself. "I've got your own debit card so you don't have to worry. It's linked to mine but I'm waiting on Chan to let me take you to get your own one." Hyunjin said causing Minho to cross his arms as he watched him hand over an envelope. Y/N opened the envelope to see her name written across the bottom. Y/N Bahng. The name startled Y/N, but not in a bad way. It made her stomach tingle. "Why does she need one? She's not going shopping alone, ever." Minho sulked as he crossed his arms when Hyunjin sat on the stool placing his hands on the island. "Because Minho-ssi we are not taking her freedom away. She has a right to have her own things, just not a job." Hyunjin stated which caused Y/N to snort. Y/N was far too domesticated and hated working. She had tried it once as Jackson's secretary but she got so bored. She hated phoning people and filing things. "Does Chan know about this?" Minho asked. "Yes because he's been setting her up assets so she doesn't have to worry about things." Hyunjin agued. The two wolves went back and forth about the reality of this. Why? Minho wanted her at home so he could spoil her but Hyunjin wanted her to have freedom with finances. Neither one of them was listening to each other. "Am I allowed to have a say in this?" Y/N asked. "No." The two shouted as they continued to argue.
Y/N shook her head at the two wolves and decided to go and see her alpha in his room who was getting changed. "Oops. Sorry." Y/N said as she covered her eyes. She didn't mean to walk in on him. "Hi, baby," Changbin called out as he wrapped his arms around the omega's waist before slamming her into Jeongin's door. Y/N giggled at the beta and kissed him affectionately, his tongue sliding into her mouth playfully. "What do you want Bin?" Y/N asked. Changbin shrugged his shoulders with a smirk. "Nothing, baby," Changbin smirked, his finger nudging her chin. Y/N had noticed the actions between the other wolves had changed when she became mated to Chan. They were all more protective of her or incredibly needy. Hyunjin, Jeongin, Chan and Minho were the protective ones who became hyper-aware of her feelings. Seungmin and Changbin were much more sexually needy, especially Seungmin who was still threatening a punishment after she had him alpha-ordered. Jisung and Felix were more lovingly affectionate but it was tough for them as they themselves were not ready to mate, yet. They were still undecided. It was nice for Y/N but sometimes it felt suffocating and they noticed that. They were more vocal about her distress and scolded the wolf who was being too overwhelming with her.
Jeongin opened the bedroom door, causing Y/N to nearly fall and Changbin to growl at the alpha. "Y/N could have hurt herself." Changbin chided. "She's fine, but you're not fucking on my door," Jeongin growled. His anger radiating off of him alerted Y/N's wolf to see if he was alright. "Jeongin are you alright?" Y/N asked as she went to reach out for him but he avoided her touch but gave her a sharp nod. "I'm going to the gym." Jeongin declared when Chan came out. "That's fine. I was going to take my little wolf shopping for proper clothes." Chan answered with a smile as he grabbed his jacket. Changbin pouted and asked Chan if he could join, which he didn't detest. Chan was quite happy for someone to join him as it meant more eyes to protect there soul mate. "Baby?" Chan whispered as he pulled her closer to kiss her mark while she was putting her shoes on. "Jeongin's having a pre-rut. He gets quite angry before it happens, but we'll talk about it later alright." Chan stated. Minho: Someone left in a mood and knocked the plant off the table. Seungmin: It wasn't me. [Insert picture] Chan shook his head as the group chat started to argue. He didn't want one of them to get on the wrong side of Jeongin. Not when Jeonin was probably feeling a mixture of emotions considering their mate was fully mated Chan: It was an accident. Minho: Next time pick it up. Chan rolled his eyes before putting his phone in his pocket.
Y/N, admittedly felt nervous about going out, since the last time she did, caused Felix to kill San. She couldn't help feeling nervous and wondered if she underestimated Wooyoung and he would return. Chan noticed her anxiety and promised he would not let go of her once. Chan even promised her they would leave as soon as she wanted to, but Y/N wanted to be brave as she looked around the shops. Y/N looked around the shops nervously while Changbin tried to suggest things but Chan shook his head. Chan wanted her to buy things she liked, not what they wanted to see her in. Y/N appreciated that and picked out some graphic t-shirts, and trousers along with a couple of jumpers now that the weather was getting colder. It felt weird that Y/N got to use her own card but she kept forgetting the pin number, to the point she had to phone Hyunjin twice who told her to write it in her phone. Overall, Y/N did enjoy her time, she felt really happy with Chan and Changbin. She was even happier when she found Christmas items which caused the two wolves to groan. "Baby. It's November." Chan stated, like it was the most obvious thing. "When do you put your tree up?" Y/N asked. "As soon as Chan and Minho let us. It's normally the second week of December." Changbin huffed. "That's ridiculous," Y/N argued. "What's ridiculous is you buying Christmas items now," Chan argued. "Don't be a sour wolf. Enjoy it. Embrace it ." Y/N sang. "I'll embrace it when it's December baby. You're not getting it." Chan crossed his arms but Y/N shrugged and bought it anyway stating it was Hyunjin's money anyway. Chan shook his head and agreed to it as long as he didn't see it in his house until December, which Y/N accepted. Y/N loved Christmas. It was her favourite time of year and she always celebrated early, despite her mother's grumbles, back then. Y/N and her brothers used to decorate their cabin while trying to convince the other wolves to decorate the main hall. They had a certain tradition. Decorate the cabin. Drink hot chocolate with whatever alcohol they could find and watch Krampus, the shitty horror film they watched every year for no reason. Luckily for her Hongjoong allowed her to keep some parts of the tradition but it was quite an odd Christmas for her, which was why she was super excited for this year. Y/N knew she was safe and knew it would be a fantastic Christmas, but all she had to do was get the Grinches to let her put the tree up.
Taglist for the iconic readers:
@galaxy4489 @reallychaoticwoo @leezanetheofficial @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @galaxy4489
#stray kids#stray kids x reader#skz abo#stray kids omegaverse#skz x reader#skz smut#abanb#bang chan#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#lee know#lee know x reader#lee know smut#changbin#changbin x reader#changbin smut#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#han jisung#han jisung x reader#han jisung smut#lee felix#lee felix x reader#lee felix smut#seungmin#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#jeongin#jeongin x reader
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miserable (you & me) | h. hyunjin <3
a/n: i have had these blurbs in my drafts FOREVER. "miserable (you & me)" is a song i've had on repeat since it dropped. i'm also a sucker for angst, so please enjoy these self-indulgent posts (they all have happy endings, i promise!) there will be one for each member, so stay tuned <3 pics not mine~
content: angst, happy ending | wc: 1k | warnings: none really! | pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader | requests:open
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
난 가망이 없는 미래에 손을 뻗어 날 부었네 / “i stretched out my hand towards a hopeless future and poured myself out”
of course it would be raining right now. the day’s weather had been normal, a smattering of clouds above and an overcast glow hinting that the weather might take a turn for the worse, but nothing was set in stone. that turned out to be true in a more literal sense, hyunjin realized, while watching people mill about on the street below with freshly opened umbrellas. he scoffed. what did you think would happen? what did you think would change?
the answer was nothing. but i had no choice.
you and hyunjin met up for your usual weekend get-together, returning to a favorite drink spot of yours after a few weekends of schedules keeping you apart. he had missed you so dearly, something that became achingly clear when his whole body lit up from seeing your face peek through the entrance. you noticed the buzz in his body when he greeted you, a sweet laugh escaping your lips. hyunjin’s heart melted at the sound, collapsing even more into endearment when you said, “i missed you a ton, too.”
a moderate number of people took up the tables and seats in the building, so there was a comfortable hum of casual conversation surrounding you. hyunjin, as always, was so closely tuned into the sound of your voice, he would’ve believed you if you said the place was completely empty. it was clichéd for sure, but he was enraptured by every single thing you said. he loved listening to all your thoughts, stories, jokes, anecdotes; whatever you were willing to share with hyunjin, he’d accept with open and grateful hands. you both laughed as you finished telling him an embarrassing story your friend shared with you the other day, and, so you could take a sip of your drink, you asked hyunjin, “how are you?”
without skipping a beat, hyunjin answered, “i’ve liked you for the longest time.”
seeing as that was quite the unexpected answer to your question, you froze. your brain buffered, face showing barely any expression, except maybe shock or confusion. hyunjin, perhaps realizing what just occurred, reacted with wide eyes and frantic apologies. if his confession hadn’t stopped you so sharply in your tracks, the endless refrain of i’m so sorry! i don’t know why i did that. i’m so stupid! would have drowned out the words he spoke so naturally. you didn’t have time to process, but you tried to protest against hyunjin’s incessant apologies. this, it seemed, was fruitless.
hyunjin, with shaking legs and fumbling hands, gathered his things.
“hyunjin, what’re you–”
“i should go, y/n,” he responded quickly, too quickly for him to mean it.
your heart broke at the way his voice cracked when he said your name, “no, just stay for a minute. please, i–”
his chest tightened when please fell from your lips, but he couldn’t bear the idea of you begging him to stay, only to tell him you didn’t feel the same. yes, it was immature, and, sure, it was probably selfish. yet all hyunjin could think to do was leave. so he did, his goodbye all staggered breaths and darting eyes.
you turned in your chair, barely catching his gaze as he raced to who knows where, “hyunjin?”
his eyes caught yours, and he ripped them away before he lost his foolish resolve. he hoped he offered you a soft smile, something to say i’m sorry for this. i just want you to be happy, and i guess this is me trying to make sure you stay that way. the adrenaline rush meant he couldn’t feel his face, though. he had no way of knowing what he looked like when he looked back at you.
hyunjin’s whole trip home consisted of pleas for his legs to move faster. if his steps hit the ground hard enough, he could ignore all the scolding voices inside his head until he was safe in his room. if he were honest with himself, he was outrunning the look of shock on your face, and the way your voice fell when you asked him to stay. hyunjin, as he caught his breath in his room, realized that running away from you meant he ended up in front of his window, facing a future of heartbreak. a sardonic laugh broke free from his lips. maybe if you did it the right way, at the right moment, you’d be looking at them instead. maybe you’d be thinking of something other than angsty plotlines for the strangers passing by on the street below.
“or maybe i could be hurt much worse,” he whispered to himself.
that was the last sound that shared space with hyunjin in the room. he sat, mind racing and leg bouncing, completely silent. until someone knocked on the door.
hyunjin shuffled to the entryway, instinctively opening it at a familiar knock, only coming to when he saw you standing before him. of course, no matter how hard he tried, his body would always end up right in front of you.
ignoring the way his deflated figure twisted your chest up in all the worst ways, you chided, “you know it’s rude to confess to someone and leave immediately after, right? you didn’t give me a chance to respond.”
you huffed as you spoke. hyunjin couldn’t help the endeared smile that graced his face when he watched your frustrated, furrowed brow turn into a cute, unintentional pout.
he thought, they are more precious to me than they’ll ever know, and he admitted, “you’re right. it was very rude of me. while i may not deserve to hear it after the way i acted, would you mind telling me what you were going to say?”
your shoulders relaxed as the familiar shine in hyunjin’s eyes returned. his beautiful smile came back too, as he watched your face light up with a reply he’d only ever dreamed of before.
“i like you too, hyunjin. i have for the longest time.”as though his hands weren’t shaking from anxiety a mere five minutes before this moment, hyunjin reached out to you, pulling you into his home and into his arms. when you accepted his invitation and melted into his embrace, hyunjin thought, i’ll pour my heart out to them again and again, if it means we’ll always end up right here, together.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids angst#skz angst#hyunjin angst#hwang hyunjin angst#stray kids blurbs#skz blurbs#stray kids hyunjin#skz hyunjin#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#hyunjin imagines#sweetkpopmusings
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It's fine; you just have to understand that friendships between people in different age groups don't and can't necessarily work the same as friendships between people in the same age group.
I'm not even kidding when I say that when I was a kid/teenager two of my best friends were the grocery bagger at my local supermarket, Mr. David, who was in his mid 50s, and Mr. Theodore, an usher at my church, who was in his mid 70s. I was bullied and ostracized in my own age group, so I didn't have a lot of friends my own age. But I saw these two old guys a couple times a week. Mr. David had met my mom when she was pregnant with me so he'd been around my whole life and watched me grow. And we'd been going to the church where Mr. Theodore was an usher and since I was 3 years old.
And the thing was, it wasn't a friendship where I could invite these old guys over for sleepovers or to play tag or to watch SpongeBob, and they didn't talk about politics or playing golf or retirement plans with me. But when I saw them, I'd get a great big bear hug and a "how ya doin, kiddo?" They'd ask me how school was and I'd ask them how things were at the grocery store or the church. They'd ask me how my siblings were doing, and I'd ask Mr. David about his nieces and Mr. Theodore about his grandkids. I had a secret handshake with both of them (that now that I think about it might've been the same handshake for both of them but they didn't know each other so it was fine). We'd tell each other jokes. We'd make promises to see each other again when my parents eventually dragged me off to the next errand or sunday school class.
And those were good friendships! Not every good friendship has to include tons of quality time and numerous shared interests. I'm sure tons of us have friends now, even in our own age group, where we text them or see them once every six months, catch up for a few hours, and then we don't hear from them from a long time, and that's just how the cycle goes, but you still consider that spotty cycle a friendship!
And I'll also say: I'll never forget how devastated I was when I found out Mr. David had died in an accident. I remember going to the grocery store when I was 13 and asking a manager where he was because I hadn't seen him for a while, and the manager pulled my mom and I aside and said "Sweetie I'm so sorry. I know you and Mr. David were very close, but he died in a car accident three weeks ago." That was the first major death in my life. I'll never forget how furious I was when I told teachers and therapists that my best friend had died in an accident, and when I explained that my best friend had been an "old" man named Mr. David, I was told children couldn't be best friends with old men. I still tell people to this day that Mr. David was my first best friend.
I know now that there are definitely more fulfilling ways to have friendships than the friendships I had with Mr. David and Mr. Theodore (Mr. Theodore is still alive to my knowledge, I just don't live in that state anymore), but I don't regret the friendships I had with them at all, in fact I'm very very grateful for them.
My mom was constantly stressed but very much doing her best to raise me and my 3 siblings, and my dad was around but he was an abusive piece of shit. I'd had a boatload of disrespectful and downright demeaning therapists, and 9 times out of 10 the teachers I had either brushed me off entirely or loved me right up until they didn't. Suffice to say my view of adulthood was pretty shitty.
But these two old guys were there to remind me adults can be kind, to kids and adults and everyone in between! And adults can be silly! And adults can hug people just because they're happy to see them. And adults can have fun. And adults can love- their parents, their children, their spouses, their neighbors, their coworkers, their friends, a stranger walking by who just needs a smile.
Think about all the lessons kids and teens could learn from adult friends.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 30
When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?
Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You
Word Count: 4319
Warnings: Dean being Dean, navigating being an empath, suggestive thoughts, longing, Fluff, Premonition, Bonding (This is something specifically for this AU. I do not see this as a "requirement" to fully connect to someone, but for this story, it is needed).
A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 30
The following day, he woke before you, lying there just watching you sleep. He knew today would be filled with a lot, and right now, you needed your rest, and he needed this moment. There was nothing to worry about in the now. Right now, nothing troubled him, and you hadn’t had another nightmare. Dean allowed himself to lie there with you for nearly ten minutes before finally dragging himself away and to the kitchen. As soon as he had the coffee brewing, he began making phone calls, informing everyone of what Pamela had said. However, when he called Bobby, he gave him a piece of his mind for how things had gone.
“I’m sorry, Dean. It wasn’t like I knew that stuff would come up,” Bobby apologized for the third time, partially regretting having made the suggestion.
Dean sighed, running a hand down his face as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “I know. You didn’t see her, though. She was distant on the entire drive back here and I couldn’t feel any of her emotions through the connection.” Bobby leaned back in his seat, staring at the closed door of his office. “Is there anything I can do on my end for the two of you?”
Dean thought for a moment, “Yeah. Can you tell the boys they can throw me that surprise party the weekend after we can get out of here?”
That made Bobby chuckle. “How’d you find out about that?”
“Jack let it slip. That kid is still pretty innocent in some ways,” Dean replied, remembering back to that second month he was back when Jack had let just enough slip out about the surprise party.
“Yeah, I’ll let ‘em know,” Bobby replied, trying to push aside the growing concern that had come with Dean’s call. “Call if you need anything. We’re all here, for both of you.”
“Thanks. That means a lot to me,” Dean replied, utterly grateful for the support system in the outside world.
Dean poured himself another cup of coffee after he hung up. He’d already called Sam; that had been his first phone call, Bobby his last, and all the adults in between. “It’s gonna be a long day,” he mumbled through a sigh.
Stretching with your arms over your head, you let out a long yawn, the morning finally pulling you from a dreamless slumber. When your arm plopped in the spot Dean should have been, you looked over, a little confused. I didn’t sleep that late, did I?
Glancing at the clock, you chuckled to yourself. Almost nine, of course he’s already up. With a smile on your face, you climbed out of bed and headed into the kitchen. He was there, leaning against the counter, lost in thought. You smiled to yourself, knowing he hadn’t even noticed you yet. “Morning, handsome,” you cooed, stopping next to him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
Dean practically jumped out of his skin at your presence, his hand over his racing heart as he attempted to catch his breath. “Jesus, Sweetheart. You damn near gave me a heart attack,” he breathed out, wondering how you’d managed to sneak up on him.
GIggling, you poured yourself a cup of coffee, then sat down at the table so you could see him. Dean smirked. Oh, someone’s in a playful mood this morning. His whispered words in your mind made you giddy. You were in a playful mood, even though you knew that today was when you were going to share with him what Pamela had told you.
“Maybe,” you replied, drawing the word out, looking down at your coffee as a smile played with your lips. For a moment, you debated dashing to the living room, eyeing the couch briefly.
He set his cup down, enjoying the moment, and wondered just how playful you were feeling. Dean smirked mischievously as he pushed off the counter, slowly strolling toward you. Glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, you giggled quietly, unable to take a sip of your coffee. The anticipation of what he might do twisted nicely in your stomach.
“What’s the matter, nervous?” he teased, his tone going a little lower, making you take a shaky breath.
When he was only a couple of feet away and began taking another step, you squealed as he reached for you, then darted into the living room, laughter ensuing as he chased you. You dashed behind the couch, giving Dean an idea. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he was going to get a hold of you. The way your laughter mixed with his and filled the room was like a beautiful symphony.
You slowly moved in the opposite direction he went, matching his pace until you were the one now in front of the couch, the coffee table directly behind you. In one swift motion, Dean not only went over the couch but also grabbed the front of your shirt firmly before falling back into the cushions. The squeal you let out as he pulled you onto his lap had him laughing with more amusement than he could contain.
Dean wrapped his arms around your back, holding you firmly in place, unable to escape. You were laughing so hard that all you could do was rest your hands on his shoulders. The moment froze for Dean, feeling that pang of love that overflowed, threatening to slip from his eyes, but he held it back. As your laughter slowly subsided, you rested your head on his shoulder, evening out your breathing again. “That was fun,” you told him through light chuckles, remembering the way he had eyed you, your breath warm against his neck.
“Yeah, it was,” he sighed contently, rubbing your back with one hand while holding you close with the other. “I love hearing your laughter.”
You debated between telling him everything Pamela had said or just giving him what you had initially planned on saving for his birthday. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be intimate with him, something about it just scared you.
Don’t go getting lost in your head again. The way his words whispered through your mind made you chuckle, sitting up so you could look at him. “And what if I like getting lost in my thoughts, huh?” you asked playfully, not quite ready to let go of the joy the playfulness brought.
He raised an eyebrow, but you saw that glint in his eyes, knowing he was already plotting something as his grip around you slowly tightened. Dean just didn’t want you to get away just yet. “What’s more interesting than you straddling my lap?” he asked as the smirk on his lips began forming.
You leaned a little closer, being just as playful, “Thoughts of you.”
Woman, I swear… A low groan, almost inaudible, rumbled in his chest as one of his hands came up and tangled in your hair behind your neck, holding your head. It was a gentle gesture, but sent a shiver down your entire body. “Sweetheart, do you have any,” he gently gripped your hip, pulling you down against him as he lightly bucked his hips up, grinding against you, “idea what you do to me?”
You hadn’t even realized just how turned on he was until you felt the bulge in his pants rub against your core through your clothes, making you bite your lip. “I didn’t mean to, really,” you told him honestly, and a little shyly. It wasn’t like you were completely ignorant. You just hadn’t done anything with anyone, so you weren’t entirely sure of the things that turned men on, let alone Dean.
Dean gave you a soft smile. He knew you hadn’t intended to turn him on. “I know. It’s why I didn’t just kiss you. I know you aren’t ready. I don’t know why, and you don’t have to explain it to me. I’ll be here, when you’re ready.” Then he leaned closer, leaving a tender kiss on your lips, staying there only a few moments before he pulled away, fighting every urge coursing through his body.
The pout that found your lips at least made him chuckle, but you still felt bad and figured now was as good a time as any to talk to him. Carefully, you climbed off his lap, sitting on the couch next to him, cross-legged and facing him.
After adjusting himself, he turned a bit so that he was facing you, although he wasn’t entirely sure what topic you wanted to talk about. He was trying not to think about kissing you, touching you, and loving you, which was nearly impossible after he’d pulled you down onto his lap. That one he took full responsibility for.
You took one more deep breath, letting it out slowly. It was bad enough that your thoughts were on Dean rather than the topic you wanted to broach, but having his desire mix with your own was making it that much more difficult.
“Okay, so yesterday. Pamela told me a lot, and there are still some things I’m not sure about, but I promised I’d tell you.” It seemed like a decent place to start. “She said that the reason you got sick was because my fear went through the connection we have.” Dean looked at you, a little puzzled, “But, you’ve been afraid before, and it never hit me like that.” he tried to explain, as he was still confused about why it had hit him so hard.
Looking down at your hands, you attempted to remember how Pamela had explained it to you. You pursed your lips as you met his gaze, hoping you didn’t botch it too badly. “She said that hope is your strongest emotion. Well, mine apparently has been fear. It’s what’s been basically running my life. When she mentioned me being afraid to lose you,” your voice got quiet as your gaze fell to the space between the two of you.
“It just sort of hit me, but for me, it was a knot in my stomach. I’ve just been so afraid for so long… I’m not sure how to just take a leap of faith, like she suggested,” by this point, you were almost whispering, and Dean only wanted to pull you into his arms again. He vaguely remembered that part of what Pamela had said, sort of, since he had to bolt to the bathroom before he was sick in the living room.
“I’m afraid I’ll lose you… if we’re closer,” you finally admitted in a barely audible whisper, and now Dean wasn’t going to hold back. He moved closer and pulled you into his arms, shifting you so that you were sitting sideways on his legs. As your emotions crashed into his, he just focused on you, soothing the storm that had taken hold. It was the missing piece for him, so he could understand what kept holding you back. “Looks like we were both trying to figure out a puzzle,” he murmured softly, tears slipping down your cheeks.
“Those monsters took everything from me. I can’t lose you too,” you sobbed out quietly, feeling like the damn inside had finally broken. You didn’t understand that you needed this in order to finish healing, letting him in deeper than you had let anyone.
For nearly an hour, he held you, uttering soft, soothing words and doing his best to comfort you. He probably wouldn’t have admitted it to anyone, but the pain that came through the connection felt like a vice on his chest. Dean did his best to take slow, deep breaths so your pain didn’t consume him, but a few tears slipped down his cheeks, landing in your hair. He knew that losing your soulmate was one of the most painful things possible, but he hadn’t realized just how much the mere thought of it affected you. Not until now. You were terrified to let someone in that much just to have it ripped away.
“I’ve got you, I always will,” he whispered when your sobs finally subsided. “And I’m not going anywhere, not if I have a say in the matter.” The only hope he had that things would be okay, was because of the words Pamela had said to him. The two of you only had to stay in the bunker for the next week and a half, no matter what.
You wanted to apologize but knew it would frustrate him, so you did your best not to even think the words. “I didn’t mean to break down like that,” you mumbled before sitting up a little.
He met your gaze, seeing how puffy your eyes were from crying. With a soft smile, he gently wiped the lingering tears away. “Crying isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it helps. Like, how they say you have to hit rock bottom before things get better,” he offered, trying to help.
“I just want it all to stop, to go away,” you pouted, focusing on your hands in your lap as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.
Dean debated for a moment, focusing on what you were feeling. There were a few different things he could say, but now was not the time to let the playful remarks slip out. He gently nudged your chin with his finger and thumb, so you met his gaze, trying not to let another tear slip out.
“Things will be okay. Why don’t we just take this week and a half and just relax? I know that you’ll have to call Crowley, and we’ll be down here past my birthday. But hey, think of this time as a little vacation from the world. It’s different now,” he tried to soothe you, giving you that soft smile that brought a small one to your lips.
He knew the kind of grip your fear had on you; hell, it wanted to consume him. Gently pulling you against his chest, he let out a sigh, trying to find the right words, but he was pretty sure nothing he could say would help you right now. So, he just held you close, gently rubbing small circles on your upper arm with his thumb.
“I don’t know how not to be afraid,” you eventually mumbled. The nightmare you’d had the night before felt like parts of it were playing on repeat in your head, along with what Pamela had said. You just weren’t sure what the consistent was, so you weren’t sure what part of it would happen.
“Why don’t we just take it one day at a time?” he suggested softly.
You moved a little so you could look into his eyes. The sincerity and hope there made you smile a little. I just want to see you smile. The whispered words made your smile grow, your fears and worries slowly slipping away as you let his hope, love, and compassion wash through the connection. It was like the gentle waves as they lapped over the sands of a beach.
“Now, I’m gonna go make us breakfast. You wanna change or just lounge in pajamas all day?” he asked, feeling that soft contentment as you relaxed.
Deciding to focus on not being stressed over things you had no control over, you chose playfulness, tapping your chin with your finger, pretending to think. “Hmm…” you hummed, pausing playfully. “Pajamas, because I’m pretty sure you’ll tease me,” your words came out a little sassy, pulling a playful smirk to his lips.
Again, he was fighting with his thoughts. God, it’s gonna be a long week. The thought made you almost laugh, knowing you weren’t going to make him wait that long. He let his fingers find your ribs, gripping them in just the right way, tickling you. With a squeal, you attempted to get off his lap, but he held you in place.
He hadn’t moved his hand, but the anticipation that kept building was what was driving you absolutely crazy. However, when he leaned in close with that look in his eyes, a shiver went down your spine. “You know, anticipation works on other things, too,” his voice was low, rough, tinged with that teasing that made the butterflies dance in your stomach.
Taking a shaky breath, attempting to focus on anything other than what he was hinting at or the fact that his hand was still holding your ribs. All he had to do was grip, and he could tickle you again. “Thought you were gonna make breakfast,” you told him quickly, unable to hide the joy that was coursing through you at how he had lightened the mood.
The laughter started deep in his chest before filling the room, “Yeah, breakfast.” Not when I’ve got you right where I want you. He couldn’t help himself, though, gripping your ribs enough to make you squeal and try to get away from him. The sound brought that joy to his soul, soothing any stress left in him.
“Stop!” you yelled playfully, squirming in his lap as he held you there. His other hand found the crook in your hip, squeezing down and making you scream at how ticklish you were there.
Luckily, he didn’t tease you long. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt your wrists, and you were trying to stop him, even knowing it was impossible. The man was far stronger than you. Plus, the way you squirmed on his lap was causing another issue to arise. He snaked his arms around your waist, the two of you attempting to catch your breath for different reasons.
“Alright, Sweetheart. I’ll go get breakfast going,” he told you, trying to calm his racing heart. He gave you a quick kiss on your cheek before scooping you up and gently setting you on the couch after he stood. I love you, your whispered words in his mind bringing a wider smile to his lips, trying to push away thoughts he couldn’t act on, not yet anyway.
And that was about how the next several days went. There were board games, watching movies, tickle fests, which you even got him a few good times, and a couple games of pool. The playful banter that went back and forth had you both wound as the sexual tension grew between you. He never pushed anything too much, but he did give it an encouraging nudge. Dean would hold you when you did the dishes, so you would return that when he would cook.
The two of you settled into a comfortable routine. So far, the nightmare hadn’t come back, and the monitors also hadn’t gone off unless it was an animal going about its business. Your fears were slowly slipping away. Being close to him was getting easier the more he bantered with you. So much so that three days before his birthday, when he kissed you after your evening movie, you didn’t pull away after a few moments. You had wanted so badly just to let go of all your fears at that moment, but you couldn’t, even with your body humming from how he touched you. The moment you went to apologize, he gently pressed his finger over your lips and shook his head.
“I told you, I can wait till you’re ready,” he told you in a soft, sincere whisper. His breathing was heavy, but he meant it; he’d truly wait till you were ready. For now, he’d have his fantasies and enjoy the feeling of your desire as it danced with his own. “How about you go crawl in bed? I’ll be there in a bit,” he added, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to sleep unless he took care of himself.
A blush crept into your cheeks as you bit your bottom lip. I wish I could just let go. It was the one thought that kept going through your head like a repeat record player. Dean gave you that half smile before leaving a tender kiss on your forehead. Don’t make me carry you. His teasingly playful threat made you chuckle. “Alright, I’m going.” You left a soft kiss on his cheek before going to your room, mostly closing it so he had more privacy.
The tip Pamela had given you, about picturing a bubble around you, was something you had been practicing. So, as you climbed into bed, you pictured that bubble again, needing to have some time so your body could cool down from the fire he always ignited. Lying on your back, staring at the ceiling, you slowed your breathing, picturing a bubble around you. It was an odd sensation after feeling Dean’s emotions for nearly a week now. The connection was still there, and you could feel the thread, but the emotions that passed through it diminished. As you were focusing on how different it felt, Dean gently pushed the door open, a little apprehensive.
“You okay, Sweetheart?” he asked, pulling you from your concentration, effectively popping the bubble. “What was that?”
You watched him as he crawled into the bed next to you, rolling onto your side. “I was practicing that bubble thing. I probably should warn you so you don’t get so concerned,” you replied sincerely, giving him the soft smile that helped the tension ease from his shoulders.
Dean pulled you closer, the physical contact bringing the relief he needed after feeling the connection diminishing. “Yeah, a heads up will help,” he sighed out, focusing on the way you felt in his arms and the way your emotions danced with his again.
“I can remember,” you told him softly, kissing his cheek tenderly before getting fully comfortable tucked against him. “Get some sleep,” you murmured sleepily.
It took him a few minutes to completely relax again. One minute, he had felt your emotions dancing with his, the desire mingling, and then there was almost nothing. For a moment, he thought something had happened, even being in the bunker. I’ll be thankful when we don’t have to worry anymore. He wasn’t sure how far into sleep you had drifted, but the peace that washed over him like a warm blanket began pulling him off to the dreamworld as well. A quiet hum slipped out as you drifted off to sleep.
You had no idea where you were. It was a town, and it was nighttime. There were a few street lights that cast an eerie yellow glow along the deserted street. What the hell? Looking around, the town seemed deserted. Cautiously, you headed toward the only place that looked open, a gas station several blocks away. There were no sounds like you would typically hear at night, like crickets or owls. Goosebumps prickled along your skin as you rubbed your arms, trying to get them to go away. The closer to the gas station you got, the more a knot began twisting in your gut. Something wasn’t right, but you couldn’t put your finger on what it was. The night air was warm against the chill that settled down your spine when you crossed the street. There wasn’t a single car in the parking lot or at any of the four pumps. Your heart pounded as your breathing became shallow and shaky. Swallowing hard, you made your way to the front of the gas station, only close enough to look inside. There was one person inside, a guy behind the counter that you’d never seen before. Other than that, the place looked empty. Oddly enough, that seemed to steady your nerves, letting out a sigh. You turned and looked back down the way you’d come, then further in the direction past the gas station. Where am I? You stood outside, debating going in and talking to the cashier or just heading in the direction you were drawn to, past the gas station. Slipping your hands into the pockets of your jeans, you headed further down the deserted street. The further away you got from the gas station, the more surreal everything felt. A few blocks later, you noticed a motel across the street, Dean’s Impala, parked in front of one of the rooms. Quizically, you tilted your head a bit. Now utterly confused, you made your way across the parking lot to the room, taking note of the number seven on the door. First, you tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Then, you felt around your pockets, noticing something in one of the back ones you hadn’t felt earlier. Slowly, you pulled out the item, taking a shaky breath, seeing it was a key to the door. Your stomach began knotting up, like something was horribly wrong. Slowly, you unlocked the door but looked over your shoulder, feeling like you were being watched. Dean’s car was gone, replaced by something else. This one was a new model Jeep that you didn’t recognize. As your brows furrowed in confusion, the door was pulled open from the inside. Just as you were attempting to regain your balance and see who had opened the door, someone grabbed you, dragging you into the room. They weren’t gentle about it either. You even attempted to fight against their hold. Whoever it was, it wasn’t Dean, but it was a guy, and he was far stronger than you. “Now, you’re mine,” his voice was low, pleased, but with a cruel undertone. “First, you’ll be bait. I need to sever that connection.”
Your scream reverberated off the walls of the bedroom, echoing through the bunker as you bolted upright in bed. Unable to take a deep breath, you clung to the blankets as Dean’s arms wrapped around you. “Shhh.. Sweetheart,” he began softly, images flashing through his mind. “I’ve got you. It was a nightmare.” However, you both knew the truth. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was a premonition.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 31
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Not so mean and scary
Did someone ask for a Steddissy fic to this? Here it is!
All that craziness happened right before the Christmas break, so Eddie was grateful to squirrel himself away inside his trailer to hide from people and even more grateful that he got to escape by driving Dustin to his science fair in Indianapolis. Hopefully, everyone had time to cool down. When he pulled up to the school, he found Jeff waiting for him in his normal spot. He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking awkward.
"Hey," Jeff said.
"Hey," Eddie said.
"I'm sorry I'm never told you," Jeff said.
"What? That you're attracted to me?" Eddie scoffed. "I didn't judge you when you told us you're gay, but I'm definitely judging you for your taste in men, so that might have been a good call."
"Fuck off, asshole!" Jeff laughed. "I definitely want to fuck you, but date you? Nah, you're too much of a mess for me."
"Dick!" Eddie laughed. "At least, things haven't changed in that aspect. . .please, tell me things have gotten back to normal."
"Wish I could, man, but it's now socially acceptable to like Eddie Munson: platonically, romantically, and sexually. You've opened up the floodgates to self-acceptance," Jeff shrugged.
"The jocks did that," Eddie scowled.
"Yeah, but they wouldn't have if they hadn't been inspired by you to stand up to Jason and his friends," Jeff pointed out.
"Gah!" Eddie yelled. "I'm mean and scary, Jeff! Mean and scary!"
"Not anymore, man. Now, it's Jason and his friends who are the freaks," he replied. "Higgins is pissed."
"Of course, he is. He's always been out to push people like us out of school," he rolled his eyes. "Alright, I guess I should face the music. . .nope, nope, I can't!"
"Be a big boy, Eddie," Jeff laughed as he pushed him.
Eddie walked past people, and so far, everything seemed great. No one was paying any attention to him, focused on trying to walk on the still icy concrete. Until. . .a guy whose name he didn't know cheerfully waved at him. A shiny rainbow pin was fastened to his coat. Eddie screamed as the guy gave him another friendly wave before walking off. Jeff rolled his eyes before clapping his hands onto Eddie's shoulders and steering him into the school. He moved through the hallway, passing by people who waved at him. Some of them had rainbow pins, and some of them didn't. Eddie didn't get that one. He thought he managed to find someone who was still afraid of them when he jumped out at someone, and he jumped. Eddie started to grin until the guy laughed, slapping Eddie's arm.
"Oh, Eddie, man, you're hilarious," he said.
"No, I'm scary!" Eddie shrieked.
"I used to think that but I was just scared of how I felt. . .oh, someone works out," the man said as he squeezed Eddie's arm. "Can't believe I ever thought I was into women."
Jeff clapped a hand over his mouth and pulled him away from the guy before Eddie could scream again. Just as they were about to approach Eddie's locker, they ran into Steve Harrington. Jeff removed his hand.
"Hey, Munson, how are you handling your newfound fame?" Steve asked.
"I do NOT want you caress my bicep," Eddie said.
"I wasn't going to," Steve laughed. "I wouldn't touch you unless you wanted me, too."
"I like women," Eddie scowled.
"Yeah, so do I," Steve said, winking at him.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, I decided to come back to school just to flirt with you," Steve said, and Eddie scoffed, blushing. "Nah, I was dropping off Dustin his lunch. He forgot it in my car. By the way, thank you for taking Dustin to the science fair. I kind of wish I had gone with you guys instead of going on that date. It would have been a lot more fun."
"Uh. . .you're welcome, I guess," Eddie said and tried to control his rapidly beating heart.
"Steve Harrington, don't you have a low paying menial job to go back to?" Chrissy asked from behind him.
"Chrissy Cunningham, I thought we were friends," Steve said.
"We are, but we're also competition now," Chrissy said.
"Ah. . .Do you like Eddie, too?" Steve asked.
"Ever since middle school," Chrissy said.
"You remember that?" Eddie asked.
"Corroded Coffin, how could I forget?" Chrissy asked.
"Kind of thought you got swallowed up by high school and popularity," Eddie said.
"I did," Chrissy said. "I'm back, now. I like your hair."
"Yeah, me too. It's definitely better than the shaved look," Eddie said, grinning. "Also, I got these sweet tatties now."
Eddie pulled his shirt down to reveal two tattoos on his chest. Chrissy bit her lip and reached over to trace the tattoos with her finger tips.
"Sexy," Chrissy said in a husky voice.
"Y-yeah?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, yeah," Chrissy said. "I should get to class. It's good catching up with you, Eddie. Steve, you really need to step up your game. Eddie. . .balls in your court."
Eddie clutched his chest and collapsed against the lockers, staring after her.
"Damn," Eddie and Steve said.
"Yeah, I guess I do have to step up my game," Steve said and winked at Eddie. "Good luck with all this."
Steve walked away, swinging his hips as he did so. Eddie's eyes zeroed in on his ass.
"I like women!" Eddie yelled.
"So do I!" Steve yelled back.
"Why do you keep saying that?!" Eddie shrieked and Steve laughed as he exited the school.
"Man, you do you realize you can like both?" Jeff asked.
"What?! No!" Eddie yelled, and then he grabbed Jeff by the front of his shirt. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought you knew," Jeff said with wide eyes.
"Was it just me, or were Chrissy Cunningham and Steve Harrington. . ." Eddie trailed off.
"Vying for your affection, yeah," Jeff replied.
"Hmm, whoever shall I choose?" Eddie cackled. "Who shall win the hand of one Eddie Munson?"
"Eddie, you still got me by the shirt," Jeff said.
"Oh, sorry."
"No, problem."
While Eddie had once been freaked out by the fact that people now liked him, he realized that it gave people to be more free to be themselves in the hallway. He did yelp when he found two jocks making out against the lockers, and then he grinned before moving on. Maybe it did have something to do with him constantly standing up to people, letting his own freak flag fly, but maybe it also had something to do with all freak occurrences that happened in Hawkins specifically the fire at Starcourt mall. Maybe they realized that life was too short. Eddie moved through the school, greeting his people through the halls with a wave and very melodramatic, Renaissance style greetings. He still felt like he was dreaming, especially knowing that Chrissy and Steve were planning to woo him.
"Pssst, Wheeler," Eddie hissed, peeking through the door of the nearly empty newspaper room.
"Eddie?" Nancy asked. "You're allowed to enter."
"Oh good, I wasn't sure," Eddie said and moved to sprawl across her desk.
"But you're not allowed to do that," Nancy said.
"So, what is Steve’s deal?" Eddie asked, raising his eyebrow. "Or do you know?"
"Are you asking about what he likes?" Nancy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I mean. . .kinda, sorta," he said.
"Yeah, I know he's bisexual. He told me when we were dating," Nancy said.
"What should I expect with him trying to woo me?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, he was always really good at finding what you like, letting you tell him what you need even when you can't say it," Nancy said. "And he likes taking care of people even if he complains about it a lot. And he loves holding hands. You never really know what to expect because he's full of surprises."
"Has he ever been wooed?" Eddie asked.
Nancy frowned at him as she thought about it.
"You know, I don't think he has," Nancy said.
"Knowing Carver, I don't think Chrissy has either," Eddie frowned. "Not really."
"Steve and Chrissy?" Nancy asked.
"Yeah," Eddie said, flashing his dimples. "They both want me. I'm sorry to say, Wheeler, that my dance card is all full up."
"Just because I find you attractive doesn't mean that I want to actually do anything about it," Nancy replied.
"You and Jeff. . .honestly," Eddie grinned. "Anyway, I have got planning to do! See ya."
Eddie made his way stealthily through the library before finding the stacks of yearbooks. He pulled one from 85 and opened. He flipped between one page and then to another. Back and forth. Back and forth.
"Which one?" Eddie hissed as he looked at Steve and Chrissy's yearbook photos. "I don't have enough information to decide."
"What are you doing, Eddie?" Dustin asked as he suddenly popped his head through the shelf right next to Eddie's head.
Eddie shrieked and clutched his chest. He turned and glared at his protege.
"You butthead, Henderson," Eddie gasped.
"Seriously, what are you doing?" Dustin asked.
"Hold on, let me stop my heart from, oh, I don't know, JUMPING OUT OF MY FUCKING CHEST!" Eddie yelled.
"Quiet!" The librarian yelled.
"Don't be so dramatic," Dustin said, rolling as his eyes as he plopped down next to him on the floor. "It's not like I'm a duck."
"A duck?! Where?!" Eddie asked, whipping his head around fearfully.
"Eddie, why would a duck be in a library?!" He asked in exasperation.
"Because ducks are evil, and I'm pretty sure they're plotting to take over the world," Eddie said. "And a library is a good place to start."
"What are you doing?" Dustin asked again.
"Trying to make a decision," Eddie sighed.
"Between Steve and Chrissy Cunningham?" Dustin asked.
"Yeah," Eddie sighed.
"Why do you have to choose one?" Dustin asked.
"Well, because otherwise I'd be leading them on," Eddie rolled his eyes.
"Why not date both of them if they're okay with it?" He asked.
"Listen, just because I happen to like both men and women does not mean I have to date both," he replied.
"No, but you want to, and isn't that the important thing here. . .that everyone involved wants to?" Dustin asked.
"You might have a point," Eddie said thoughtfully.
"I do have a point," Dustin said. "You have overturned this school in like a day, turned it into like a safe haven, so I think you can definitely date two people if you wanted to."
"Never change, Henderson!" Eddie yelled as he jumped up.
"I wasn't planning on it!" Dustin yelled. "Are you planning on going to lunch?! Lucas is actually going to sit with us for once!"
"I'll be there!"
"Quiet! This is a library for Pete's sake!"
Eddie skidded to a halt outside the window to the classroom that Robin Buckley was sitting in. At some point today, Eddie was planning on going to class, but right now, he was too busy. He cracked open the window, and to his amusement, Robin was right by it and fast asleep with her cheek pressed against her arm. Eddie pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and threw it at Robin. She sat up, wiping her face, and she scowled at Eddie.
"What the hell are you doing, Munson?" Robin asked.
"What kind of flowers does Steve like?" Eddie asked.
"Why do you want to know?" Robin asked.
"I want to see if he wants to open a flower shop together," Eddie said.
"Really?" Robin asked.
"No! I want to woo the fuck out of him!" Eddie hissed.
"Well, it's not totally far-fetched. Steve would actually like that, though. Ooh, a jock and a metalhead opening a flower shop together then falling in love? Oh, the story just writes itself," Robin said.
"Robin, focus - ooh, we could call the shop - no, no, focus!" Eddie exclaimed, shaking his head.
"Maybe not a flower shop because Steve doesn't really get the idea of giving people decapitated dead things as gifts. Ooh, baking - you could bake him something! You could open a bakery with him!" Robin said.
"Okay, are you or are you not his best friend in the entire world? I mean, that's the word on the street," Eddie hissed. "Help me out here! I can't bake for the life of me!"
"I really don't need to. You've basically been wooing him without even knowing about it," Robin said. "Despite his complaining, he loves those kids, especially Dustin and the fact that you were with them, giving them a safe place to belong. . .it meant a lot to him."
"Got it. He basically wants a baby daddy. . .a partner," Eddie said. "Someone who cares about those kids as much as he does while also being able to knock their egos down a notch. I swear the tone on Dustin. . ."
"Yeah, basically, and he doesn't say it but I know he wishes he just has someone to take care of him, you know?" Robin said. "Unlike his shitty parents."
"You know, I always thought people like him had it easy," Eddie said. "But seeing all of this, even knowing what they've called me, they struggle just as much as we do."
"You know, Steve, when he called you freak, out of sheer ignorance, he thought it was a nickname like when people called him the Hair," Robin said.
"He doesn't know that people were calling him that to be mean?" Eddie asked.
"No," Robin said.
"Miss Buckley! Mr. Munson! Is my lesson getting in the way of your conversation?!" The teacher yelled.
"Oh, absolutely not, Mrs. D! How's the arthritis?" Eddie asked cheerfully.
"Get to class!"
"Right!"
Okay, he was for sure going to class after lunch, but this time, he really needed to talk to Chrissy's cousin, Vickie. It was the last period before lunch, so he really needed to talk to her. The girl in her math class had said she was in the bathroom. Eddie skidded down the hallway and came to a stop.
"Nope, can't go in there, I am a gentleman-ish. Well, I do have boundaries," Eddie said and leaned against the lockers to wait.
There was no one else in the hallway, and from what it sounded like to Eddie, there wasn't anyone else in the bathroom except for Vickie. He could hear her talking to herself, and it was very likely that she was talking to her reflection.
"Oh. I should tell her. I should definitely tell her. Oh, but I can't. . .what if she doesn't like me at all or women?! What if she's not okay with it. I mean, there does still seem to be people who don't agree with all of this, and what if this is just a freak accident? Like, maybe someone put something in the water or there's a gas leak? Maybe we're all having the same hallucination. . .no, that's crazy. Just as crazy as me telling Robin I like her. I mean, I tell her that I like her, and everyone snaps out of it before going back to normal. Maybe it would be safer going back to Dan. . .no, no, he's a dick! Oh, but he's so good with his hands, terrible with his mouth. Oh, what if she does like me and she dumps me because I'm so bad at sex?! That's crazy, Robin isn't like that, but how would I know? How do you even have sex with women? Where do you - oh, God, sex with Robin - ugh, I should have gone to that gay bar in Indie everyone went to over break - oh, Robin's boobs!"
Eddie couldn't help it. He let out a laugh. Eddie quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. It was too late, though. The door opened, and Vickie poked her head out the door.
"I heard nothing!" Eddie exclaimed.
"So, you heard everything," Vickie laughed.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Eddie said. "Someone in your math class told me you were going to the bathroom, and I swear I wasn't going to follow you in there. I was just going to wait out here until I could get your opinion on something."
"Okay, and that would be?" Vickie asked.
"How close are you with your cousin, Chrissy?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, she's my best friend," Vickie asked.
"Great, I need more information," Eddie said. "Not all of it, of course, because I do plan on getting to know her on my own, but I do need some information to surprise her with when I woo her because I also don't want to accidentally offend her."
"Woo her?" Vickie asked.
"I plan on wooing her and Steve Harrington before they can woo me," Eddie said. "I'm going to win their little competition and they don't even know that I'm playing."
"Technically, haven't they already been wooed if they're trying to woo you?" Vickie asked.
"Semantics!" Eddie exclaimed. "Let's retire that word because I have said and heard it too many times today."
"Well, the fact that you're showing any actual interest in her is definitely a step up from Jason and that you're trying to find out what she likes," Vickie said.
"She deserves that," Eddie said.
"Oh, definitely," she said and smiled softly at him. "Well, she doesn't like flowers because she's never really understood getting dead things as gifts, but she loves chocolates. . .specifically, chocolate covered strawberries."
"Man, that's Steve and Chrissy both. What's up with them and flowers?" Eddie asked.
"Maybe it's something to do with ripping flowers from their home and people using them to make their homes pretty, but then once they served their purpose, they're tossed aside?" Vickie asked.
"So, they represent how they themselves are used and then tossed aside?" Eddie asked and frowned. "Damn. That's fucking deep. I'm going to be thinking about that one. Think, Munson, think! Oh, I got it!"
"Mr. Munson!"
"Oh, hey, Mrs. D, I am just seeing you everywhere today. . .may I just say that you are wearing a lovely shade of purple! It suits you!"
"Get. To. Class."
"I. Am. Trying."
Eddie did, actually, attend lunch and the rest of his classes. Being distracted by Chrissy and Steve pulled his attention away from everyone being nice to him all of a sudden. It helped, especially when Chrissy flirted with him with her eyes across the cafeteria. He did the same, leaning his elbow in Dustin's applesauce as he batted his eyelashes and hid behind his hair. A few minutes later, Robin came back into the cafeteria and held up a sign:
Steve agreed to pay me $50 to do this. He also agreed to do the same if I needed it. This is from Steve.
Robin leaned forward and gave Eddie her best comehither look before running her hands through her hair, winking at Eddie and shooting him finger guns. He had laughed in delight and ended up knocking Dustin's applesauce into his lap. Chrissy was scowling at Robin, but she was also trying not to smile.
"This is only going to get worse when you guys actually start dating, isn't it?" Dustin asked with a sigh.
"Oh, yeah."
Finally, after school, Eddie managed to convince the theater arts teacher to let him use the drama room for what he had planned to do. Had it really only been a day? He had realized that as he sat on his throne with a robe thrown over him and the hood over his eyes, waiting for his prey. Finally, the doors opened, and he grinned when he heard their voices.
"You can't just call dibs on a person, Christine!" Steve exclaimed. "Especially when it's because you saw him first!"
"Why the hell not, Steven?" Chrissy asked.
"Because it's childish!" Steve yelled.
"Well, it seems like it's right up Eddie's alley!" Chrissy exclaimed.
To his amusement, they had yet to notice Eddie sitting on his throne.
"Why were we told to come here, anyway? I don't see Eddie at all," Steve said with his hands on his hips.
The lights flickered on above Eddie, revealing himself. A horn behind him started to play.
"Robin?" He asked, squinting at the light and Eddie smiled.
"Tis I, Edward Munson, your one true love!" Eddie burst out in dungeon master voice. "I have decided to bring this competition to an end. I have had many offers and many favors, but it has come down to the two of you - "
"Oh, man, you're not going to make us fight to the death, are you?" Steve asked.
"Ooh! I can totally take Steve," Chrissy said, cheerfully.
She dropped her bag and rolled up her sleeves. She raised her fists and started bouncing around Steve, her ponytail bouncing with her. Eddie bent over laughing. God, she was so fucking cute. Clearly, Steve thought so, too.
"Alright, stop that," Eddie said, dropping his voice for a moment.
"So, you already made a decision? Seems pretty quick. We didn't get to enjoy the chase," Steve said.
"Yeah, I was looking forward to seeing what Steve would bring to the table, but I'm looking forward to your answer," Chrissy said, and then she gasped in realization. "Steve. . ."
"What?"
"Do you think that Eddie might be naked under his robe?" Chrissy asked, giggling.
"Oh, I did not think about that," Steve said and then he grinned. "But now I am."
"That's not what - No, I am not - !" Eddie shrieked.
"Eddie Munson, you better not be naked under your robes!" Robin yelled from the back.
"Robin?" Vickie asked.
"Vickie? Where are you?" Robin asked.
"I'm manning the lights!" Vickie asked cheerfully.
"How did you get involved?" Robin asked.
"Oh, Chrissy's my cousin, and he said he wanted to do something nice for her, so I agreed," Vickie said. "What about you?"
"Oh, Steve’s my platonic soulmate, and Eddie said he wanted to do something nice for him," Robin said.
"Oooh! Do you think that he's choosing both of them?!" Vickie asked.
"We can hear you and you just ruined the big reveal!" Eddie shrieked.
"Yell at her again, and I'll beat you with my instrument, Munson!" Robin yelled.
"Sorry, Vickie!" Eddie rolled his eyes.
"I'm sorry, too!" Vickie exclaimed.
"It wasn't going well, anyway," Eddie sighed and leaped from the throne, standing in front of both of them. "I've completely forgotten where I was going with this."
"I did tell you to write it down," Vickie said gently.
"You did, you did," Eddie said, then focused on them. "I have something for you guys. . .it's in my pants. Hold on!"
"Yeah, I bet you do," Chrissy said and giggled with Steve.
"Okay. . .so maybe I didn't think this all the way through," Eddie said.
"Eddie! You idiot!" Robin yelled.
"You want to get some coffee and leave these guys to it?" Vickie asked.
"Oh, yeah, definitely. . .you need help getting down from there?" Robin asked.
"Please. . .," Vickie said, and then she giggled. "Are you going to let go of me any time soon?"
"Uh, yeah, right!"
". . .unless you don't want to, then I'm okay with that."
Robin and Vickie burst out the curtains, rushing towards the door. Robin's arm was secured around Vickie's waist.
"See ya, Steve, don't pregnant!" Robin exclaimed.
"You see what I'm dealing with! I can't make any promises!"
"Slut!" Robin yelled.
"Whore!" Steve yelled back.
"Oh my god!" Vickie laughed.
"It's okay. Those are the nick names we chose for each of her. We picked them out of a hat," Robin replied. "It's all with affection."
"Anyway," Eddie said as he tried to remember what was going on. "Right! Uh, I had this big speech and story, but now. .the rocks are for you. I painted them your favorite colors. I was told you didn't like to be given dead things, so. . . rocks!"
"My favorite colors. . .pink and blue," Chrissy muttered.
"Pink and yellow. . .you talked to Robin and Vickie, didn't you?" Steve asked.
"Yeah," Eddie said. "I don't know if that's weird or stalkerish. . .I've never been a boyfriend before, let alone to two people."
Chrissy surged forward and kissed him. Eddie responded eagerly, wrapping his hands around her. He really couldn't stop it. . .he was a big bad metalhead. He wasn't supposed to make sounds like this. Eddie giggled delightfully against her lips. Chrissy pulled back, beaming, wiping away her lipstick with her thumb. She stepped back and let Steve take her place. He cupped Eddie's face and pulled him in for a kiss. Eddie's knees were already shaking from Chrissy's kiss, but when Steve kissed him, they couldn't hold him up anymore. Eddie's legs gave away, and Steve wrapped his arms around his waist to support him. Steve broke the kiss, still holding Eddie.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked.
"Where am I?" Eddie asked, and then he shook his head. "Am I dead? I mean, I'm fine!"
"You swooned, Eddie," Chrissy giggled.
"I did not!" Eddie shrieked.
"You totally swooned," Steve said.
Chrissy let out another giggle and kissed Steve.
"Definitely swoonworthy," Chrissy said.
"His knees were already shaking, babe," Steve said.
"You know, I don't know what's harder to believe that I have a type or that my type actually likes me," Eddie said with a sigh.
"I don't know why it's so surprising. . .considering that I once tried to join Hellfire myself once upon a time," Steve said, tucking a hair behind Eddie's ear.
"You did?" Chrissy asked.
"Oh. . .wait, you were serious about that? I thought you were fucking with me when you asked to join," Eddie said.
"I was just a young freshman who thought the guy in charge of the club was really cute," Steve said.
"Oh fuck, I was a total asshole to you," Eddie groaned.
"I totally get why you thought that, though. People like me, like us, didn't really help matters. Hey, you changed that. It took a lot of work, but you turned things around here," Steve said.
"You could ask to join again, I might have a different answer for you this time," he said, blushing.
"Nah, I only play with Dustin, Erica, and Robin. . .it's sort of a Scoops Troops thing. It's hard to explain," Steve said.
"Right, Starcourt," Eddie said, nodding.
"I think it's okay, you know, to have different interests, I think it's only truly important how you deal with them. Going a long way to respect the differences, I think, it shows that you kind of just want to be seen as a person," Steve said. "If makes any sense."
"That makes perfect sense, big boy," Eddie said, showing his dimples. "And you two are really okay with this?"
"More than okay," Chrissy said as she wrapped her arms around the both of them.
TWO WEEKS LATER. . .
Eddie grinned as he climbed up on the table, and he looked down at everyone. He was right, everyone who had different interests. . .they just want to be seen as people. He could see them now, now that they were no longer pretending to hate them. . .they were just trying to get by just like he was.
"Announcement, ladies, gentlemen, and. . .still undecided! I would like to formally declare that I, Eddie Munson, am officially off the market!" He yelled.
There were several cheers and groans of disappointment all throughout the cafeteria. There were also plenty of people who just did not care.
"But I realized that I was gay because of you!" Connor exclaimed.
"Connor, if you would look to your left, you'll realize that there is someone better and clearly more interested than I am," Eddie grinned.
"Patrick, is that true?" Connor asked.
"It's always been you, man," Patrick said.
"I just - I never wanted to assume - ,"
Patrick pulled Connor into a kiss. Connor didn't hesitate and returned the kiss.
"AWWW!"
"This is disgusting!" Jason yelled, standing up. "You're all going to - "
Suddenly, a basketball flew past and hit Jason in the face.
"Oh, man, I really have to work on my aim," a player said.
Eddie laughed and slid back into his chair next to Chrissy.
"Eddie, man, where's your - oh, nevermind," Jeff grinned.
Steve made his way over to the table, a visitor's pass sticker on his chest. In his hand was Eddie's vest.
"Hey, Steve!" Dustin exclaimed. "I didn't leave my lunch in your car again, it's right here!"
"No, I'm here for Eddie. He left his vest in my car," Steve said. "He called and said it was urgent."
Eddie grinned and made grabby hands for the vest. Steve handed it over to him when a third chair appeared between Chrissy and Eddie. He yanked Steve down into it.
"It wasn't as quite as urgent as I made it sound," Eddie grinned.
"You tricked me," Steve said.
"So, I wanted to have lunch with my boyfriend and girlfriend," Eddie said. "Sue me."
Steve smiled and kissed Eddie on the cheek. He turned to Chrissy and gave her a kiss on the lips.
"Hi," Chrissy giggled.
"Hey! How come she gets a kiss on the lips?" Eddie scowled.
"Because she didn't trick me to get me here," Steve said.
"Worth it," Eddie grinned and slid down so he could tuck his head into the crook of Steve’s neck as Chrissy slid her legs over Steve’s.
It was crazy how things changed. One minute, he was just as scared of jocks as they were of him, but it turns out. . .not so mean and scary as Eddie thought.
#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#chrissy cunningham#eddie stranger things#eddie munson lives#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#chrissy cunningham x eddie munson#chrissy x eddie#eddissy#hellcheer#chrissy cunningham x steve harrington#cheerscoops#chrissy cunningham x eddie munson x steve harrington#steddissy#hellcheerington#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual eddie munson#bisexual chrissy cunningham#robin buckley#lesbian robin buckley#stranger things vickie#bisexual vickie#robin & steve#platonic stobin#rovickie#stranger things au#rueleigh writes
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Hi! I loved your awkward chishiya flirting sooo much <3 The way you write is so in character even with him being nervous about showing affection. Can you write him being completely oblivious he’s liked yn the whole time they’ve been through the games; he thought he was just protecting them out of trying to be a better person until Kuina is like you moron you’re clearly in love w them!!
And he’s like oh fuck, what are feelings?? I have them?? His thought process as he tries to deny it and then him having some awkward interactions w yn bc he doesn���t know how to act now he’s aware he likes her and then is desperately trying to flirt with no idea how to at all
Tokens of Appreciation
Summary: Chishiya tells himself that he sees you only as a friend, despite doing his best to give you a gift.
Genre: fluff
Pairing: reader x chishiya
Words: 2.4k
Note: I tweaked this a little to show more of him being in denial and still in the middle of processing it ^^ I didn't want it to be too close to the other awkward flirting fic, but I hope you still like it! Also god, I;m so sorry it took more than a year ; O; Good news is that I'm almost done with my thesis, so I have a bit more time to write :DD
Chishiya set the screwdriver down with a frustrated sigh. The music box sat in front of him, open yet still without song. He saw this on the day of the six of clubs game. The car that was supposed to pick them up got a flat tire and stranded them for a good hour. As much as he hated the militants for their incompetence, he was grateful that he had extra time to scavenge around the nearby shops. It was in one of the metalwork stalls where he found it.
It was fairly light, small enough that you could hold it when you brought both hands together. The outside looked like a small pot, with the lid having scalloped edges. Ornate, gold vines swirled around the sides of the box, leading up to the front. At the center of it was a teardrop-shaped gemstone that refracted prisms under light. Inside was a small rabbit instead of a typical ballerina. It posed with its arms up mid-dance, pointy ears curved back as it looked up.
That was what made Chishiya decide that this was the perfect gift for you. At the beginning of your friendship—before you had worn down his walls with “incessant” conversation—you had off-handedly mentioned a memory of your childhood toy.
“Oh, look at that!” you picked up the small piece of candy. The packaging still boasted its classic colors of red, blue, white, and black. Turning around, you held it out to Chishiya. “I used to eat this all the time when I was a kid.”
He wrinkled his nose in disgust. This was the ninth room around the Beach that you’ve ‘investigated’—a fancy word you liked to use instead of ‘snooped around.’ “You don’t know how long that’s been there. Plus, you’ll get cavities.”
“Candy doesn’t expire,” you stuck your tongue out at him, swiftly unwrapping the sweet and popping it in your mouth. You smoothed out the wrapper, particularly the area around the illustrated rabbit.
“Somehow, I don’t think that’s true—”
“He looks like the bunny plush I had.” Chishiya knit his eyebrows in confusion before glancing at the wrapper. He shrugged, feigning indifference.
“All rabbits look the same.”
“No, idiot. This one has pointy ears instead of rounded ones.”
“What’s that?” Kuina’s voice nearly made him knock over the entire thing. He flinched, throwing a blanket over his project. Clearing his throat, he stood up and narrowed his eyes at the girl.
“What did I tell you about knocking?”
Despite his small frame blocking the table from view, Kuina side-stepped around him, swiftly pulling the cloth right off. He hissed, moving to take the music box, but Kuina was faster, swiping it off the table and bringing it up to her eye level.
“Wow,” she enunciated, dragging the word. “This is for them, isn’t it?”
“No,” he tried not to stutter. He reached for it before Kuina held it above him. Her eyes were glued to the meticulous details. “If you drop that, I will kill you next game and make it look like an accident.”
She chortled, throwing her head back. Her loudness grew on him—is what he always told himself. Being his only friend when the Beach was only starting to form, he learned quickly how to tolerate Kuina’s more bubbly personality.
“What’s it for? Their birthday coming up?”
“No. I’m just making sure all our pieces are in place.” Kuina let him nab the item back. She watched as he wrapped it in the blanket, tucking it safely back into a drawer.
“You totally like her,” she snorted.
“No, I don’t!” It came out too fast, too loudly. Chishiya’s face was starting to redden. His lips were pressed in a thin line, eyes downcast. It took a moment for him to collect himself. “We need her for the plan.”
“Yeah, right. It’s been half a year. Whatever long game you’re playing is over,” she smirked at him, plopping on his bed. “If anything, you’re the one getting played.”
“I don’t like her that way,” he crossed his arms defensively.
“Keep telling yourself that, lover boy,” Kuina chuckled, throwing a pillow at him. Chishiya swatted it away, face beet-red.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Call you what, lover boy?”
“Kuina!”
Three soft knocks interrupted their banter. Chishiya froze when you opened the door, slipping in with a mischievous grin. Your arms were behind your back, hands hidden from their view. A faint crinkling gave Chishiya a hint as to what you were holding.
You stepped towards him, making him instinctively block the drawer the music box was in. Your grin spread wider, making your cheeks look unbearably adorable. Wait, did he really think that?
“I have something for you,” you said almost teasingly. You thrust your hand to his chest, pressing a package of biscuits on him. He wasn’t religious, but he prayed that you couldn’t feel his heartbeat thrumming out his rib cage.
Glancing down, he gave the biscuits a curious look-over. The wrapper was pink and white, with small cartoon strawberries spread around it. Attempting to take it from you gently, his fingers grazed over the back of your hand, flustering you both. Quickly, you whipped your head towards Kuina, chucking her the other item.
She caught the lighter with ease, excitedly flicking it on. Kuina was certain the militants threw it out after the pool fire incident. Totally not your trio’s fault. “Woah! Where’d you get these?”
“I was in Tatta’s storage space,” you beamed proudly.
Chishiya’s blood curdled. He squeezed the biscuits, though still careful not to break them. Shifting his weight to one foot, he scrunched his face in distaste. “What were you doing with Tatta?”
“Nothing, we were just hanging out. Ann dragged him into the hallway for a quick conversation so I had time to ‘investigate,’” you motioned with air quotes.
“What are you hanging out with him for?” The blunt words left his mouth before he could process them.
His heart shrivelled a little when your smile faded. Taken aback, you clasped your hands, suddenly self-conscious. “I thought he was nice and making another friend around here didn’t seem like a bad idea.”
“Well, what if he’s just another sleaze like Niragi? You know how some of the men slobber like dogs here. And you’re in a closed space with just him? Just the two of you in a room? Together? Do you know how stupid that is? What if something happened and Kuina and I were in this room and we couldn’t hear you and—”
“What Chishiya is saying—” Kuina spoke over him, sending him a sharp glare despite her pinched smile. “—is that we just want you to be careful around here. I think Tatta is a fun guy too, but don’t let your guard down that easily okay?”
You nodded wordlessly, avoiding Chishiya’s eyes. Unbeknownst to you, his look softened, fingers releasing their tight grip on the biscuits. He slouched, silently berating himself for sounding so harsh, especially after you’ve just given him a gift. Oh god, you gave him a gift! He looked back at the cookies, strawberry-flavored no doubt. Perhaps it was your attention to detail that chipped at his armor. The way you remembered how he took two teaspoons of sugar with his tea and how you’d sometimes take his hoodie after a rough game and bring it back smelling of fabric softener.
Just normal things good friends would do for each other. Because that’s what you were—good friends.
“Chishiya?”
“What?” He blinked slowly, glancing at Kuina through silver hair framing his face.
“I said I’m gonna get us drinks from the bar. You sound like you need it.” She stood up, motioning for you to take her place on the bed. You shot her a small smile, though your mood has obviously been dampened.
Kuina passed near Chishiya, lowering her voice to whisper, “Fix your mess.”
When the door shut with a soft click, it was quiet for a few awkward moments. The room felt like a held breath, with Chishiya still standing, holding the biscuits like an idiot, while you were sitting on his bed, regarding him a huge eye sore in the middle of the spacious hotel room. Being a high-profile diamonds player bought him certain luxuries, despite how unnecessarily flashy he deemed them.
“I know you’re just looking out for me, but you really could be nicer sometimes.” He almost didn’t catch what you said, your voice soft. “I just wanted to get you something nice.”
He sighed, more so at his own stupidity. He pushed himself off the drawer and sat beside you, your knees touching. Pinching the corner of the wrapper, he ripped the packaging open, angling the biscuits towards you. Your knee tensed beside him, making guilt claw at his stomach more.
“Take one,” he said, almost demandingly. You huffed, gingerly taking a piece. It was a small, pillow-shaped shell. You bit into it, bringing your hand back to look at the strawberry filling inside. Chishiya hummed in approval as soon as the sweet cream hit his tongue.
Wordlessly, you shared the biscuits—his own form of apology. You scooted closer to him, a silent act of forgiveness he quickly picked up on. Always the clever man, yet he could never figure himself out.
“I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Anyone with eyes can see how beautiful you are. If anyone here tried anything on you, I’d have to put rat poison in their alcohol. Do you know how troublesome that is?” he wrinkled his nose, pointedly munching.
A grin crept into your face. Your eyes flitted towards his face, dark brown eyes meeting yours. “You think I’m beautiful?”
Chishiya was stunned for a second. Blood rushed to his cheeks and the furrow in his brows deepened. He stammered, “No. No! That’s not what I meant. I mean that I’m just worried about you!”
You brought your face just a tad bit closer to his. “You worry about me?”
“No, no! I mean, you’re just a good ally and I don’t have any other strong feelings about you. I’m doing this for the sake of our alliance—”
He didn’t notice as you took the last biscuit, gingerly pushing it against his lips. He froze, eyes wide as he took in your appearance. An orange glow from the setting sun wrapped around your silhouette. You looked heavenly, like an angel beckoning him to the next life. Despite all logic screaming at him, he would gladly take your hand and go wherever that may be.
You pushed the biscuit past his lips, the soft pair almost chasing after your fingertip as you pulled away. Curling your finger, you wiped the corner of his mouth with the edge of your knuckles. His breath stilled in his chest.
Chishiya leaned closer, your pull towards him magnetic. Shakily, he brought a hand up, about to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. He’s seen this move once before, during a promotional commercial for a drama. He was reviewing for his finals at the time, taking only a few seconds to stare coldly at his roommate because of how loud the TV was. Evidently, he never put it into practice before.
“Ow!” you jolted back, hands cupping your face. Somehow, despite his brilliant mind, he accidentally poked you in the eye. You grit your teeth in pain, globs of tears running down your cheek.
“Shit, I’m sorry!” He tried prying your eyes away from your face, using his free arm to wrap around your back. “I’m so sorry. Shit. Don’t rub it, it’ll get worse. Come here.”
Assisting you through your blurry vision, he managed to walk you to his bathroom. He turned the faucet on, making you bend over the sink. Forcing stillness into his hand, he caught the water, gently splashing it against your reddening eye. You hissed, jolting back at the contact, though a firm hand on your back kept you in place.
“I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to.” The distress was evident in his voice. You’ve never seen him in such shambles before, not even during games where he was at the brink of death.
“I know, ‘Shiya. It’s okay,” you managed to smile at him. He wiped your eyes with a soft towel, bringing it down for a second to gently grip your chin. He nudged your head up, only enough for him to check on your eye. He let out a deep sigh before pressing the towel back. At least the pain has died down a bit now. “How bad is it?”
“It’s not fatal.”
You snorted, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. His lips twitched almost into a grin, though he was still slouched over in embarrassment. “I can’t believe this is the thanks I get for feeding you.”
“I… I-I didn’t mean to. Honestly!” He shoved his other hand into his hoodie pocket. Suddenly, the floor was the most interesting thing in the room. You chuckled lightly at his antics. There was something so boyish about the way he stood, almost as if he wanted his hoodie to swallow him whole.
You brought your hand up, wrapping it around his on the towel. His cheeks heated up, though still defiant in meeting your gaze. You stroked the back of his hand with your thumb, surprised that he hasn’t pulled away yet.
“I’m sorry I poked your eye. I was just trying to…” he trailed off. How was he even going to explain himself out of this one? “There was dirt on your face. You should take a bath from time to time.”
“I do take baths!” you exclaimed, swatting at him again. You jabbed a finger to his chest, tone riddled with tease. “You’re just so obsessed with me.”
He finally allowed himself to smile, the smile that made everything feel normal again. At that moment, you weren’t players in the Borderland fighting for your life every other day. You were just two friends, for now. Chishiya is a tough nut to crack, but between your laughter sounding like tinkling bells and the euphoric buzz he gets from being around you, he’d be able to sort himself out. He just needs to take it one step at a time, starting with making that music box sing for you again.
Because that's what good friends do. God, he was such a good friend.
Back in the main room, the entrance door swung open, followed by the sound of glass bottles clinking against each other. Kuina proudly declared, “I got us the stuff!”
“Did you bring ice?” Chishiya called out to her.
“Of course!” Even from the bathroom, you could hear her huff.
“Good, because we need a bunch of it here.”
#alice in borderland imagines#chishiya shuntaro#chishiya alice in borderland#chishiya x reader#aib chishiya#aib imagines#imawa no kuni no alice#alice in borderland x reader#alice in borderland#chishiya imagine#aib x reader#chishiya shuntaro x reader#asks#requested
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"O-oh, you don't say..." Yuugi trailed off, turning back to his tea cup. What an unnerving thought, to have had that fate. How it would have compared to their plans to assimilate him into their society, he would never know. Hopefully.
"Rough is right," he agreed with Claire, grateful for her attempt to ease his concerns, "I just hope I don't get any of you in trouble."
Taking a sip of his tea, Yuugi considered what to tell them. How much would they understand?
"I come from a city named Domino, in a country called Japan. My family lives in and runs a game shop--it's my Grandpa's. I'm going to school to design games and hopefully take over the business one day. It's a lot different from this place. There is technology like computers and duel disks, and cars...there is this really popular card game called Duel Monsters, and tournements are huge events. It's kind of like sporting events now, compared to when I started playing. I kinda fell into being called the King of Games after winning two large ones."
Normally, he tender not to talk about his title, but it seemed relevant. He told them about other things too, like his friends, and what they liked to do for fun. But he did not dwell on it long. He did not have enough tea left, and the more he talked about it, the more he missed it. The tea must be kicking in, he realized rubbing his eyes.
"I'm sorry, maybe I should go lie down."
"The Black Guard are those loyal to the previous monarch of this city," Maria stated as she makes her way behind the bar to prepare herself some black tea. "Before he was taken down they would have taken you to their camps, enslavement and all that."
"Y-you don't have to worry about that. The monarch was taken out of the council and locked away after his crimes were brought to the public. Now the Black Guard work with the law, though they are rough around the edges," Claire said, trying to ease Yuugi.
Maria didn't trust them, but the problems they faced weren't Yuugi's problems. Once her tea was made, she took a sip and faced the spiky haired youth. "Enough about us. Tell me about yourself."
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i feel like i shouldn't have to plaster "mspec/male 'lesbians' dni" all over my page but here we are
#pyro.txt#i am. tired.#i'm very open about my stances. i complain about it. a lot.#i know i do. and i'm sorry if it gets grating.#but i'm tired of it. having assholes who think they know better than you about your own identity and trying to redefine it in a way#that they find 'inclusive' and 'progressive'#while what they're pushing is an inherently transphobic label. it literally has its roots in t/e/r/f vocabulary#idk i'm sorry. especially for complaining so much on the matter.#i'm vocal about it. i have it under my 'more info' thing. and yet boundaries are still getting crossed.#and they're the ones who bitch at you for not reading their 2 mile long dni.#my misanthropy grows more and more everyday. i may be lonely but sometimes i am genuinely glad my avpd keeps me from talking to folks.#btw yes i am blocking them. i just get to complain incessantly because this is my page.#also why is it that when i block someone on mobile it only blocks them from my main? like shouldn't it be across all of them?#like if i didn't want someone interacting with one blog...why should they get to interact with all of the others?#it's just going to give me notifications i can't see and it's going to drive me insane.#why do i have to get on my computer to block these fucks specifcally from this blog
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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this is a long shot and i'm sorry to ask, but if you don't mind, can mutuals (or contacts or regulars... just... this community) of mine who aren't jumping ship like... let me know? will any of us still be here? is it over? i'm trying to know if this really is it or what's... even happening. i hate to reassurance seek but i'm feeling pretty miserable and confused.
edit: felt like i was being really pitiful and fragile making this but everybody is being so nice to me and responding so patiently with all your thoughts and i'm in tears of gratitude thank you thank you thank you 💖
#i glanced and thought they brought out a feature so that we could turn off ai access#that seemed... okay? i thought? but now i'm really confused. i don't know. i'm so tired and scared. i just can't... keep doing this#i know this is stupid but this feels like it's my fault.#it happens every time i find something. if i'm happy somewhere. it just.... poof. goes away. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry#on the edit: i would only *ever* think this about myself. double standards that i hold for myself are high. i expect emotional control#& performance from myself only. i would never think badly of anyone else being stressed about this or anything. thank you for your kindness#this community has been so beautiful and kind at every turn. i'm so grateful to get to be here and meet you all#okay... being really sappy now. y'all get to see my anxiety first hand today!! whee!! anyway. i'll get it together. haha! thank you.
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Ignore all logistical considerations of "would they ever meet each other under these circumstances". If you don't think Jules Bashir would have chosen to join Starfleet, imagine he is on the station for some other reason, or they meet in some other location.
I wanted to make this poll because I've seen various fics where Garak reassures Julian that far from being upset over him being augmented, Garak is grateful for it, either explicitly because (he thinks) they wouldn't be able to have their usual conversations if it weren't for the augmentations, or simply because he likes Julian "just the way he is" and wouldn't want him to be "different". I disagree that Garak would think like this (or at the very least, I think Julian would react negatively if he did, rather than be reassured), so I wanted to hear everyone else's thoughts.
#garashir#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#this is not just a shipping question btw so please answer whether you view them platonically/romantically/whatever!#Julian Bashir#polls#Starky's original posts#I'll admit. to me there is a very clear right and wrong answer here.#again not in terms of Garak's characterization so much as in terms of JULIAN'S.#I would be fine if Garak said this and Julian felt at least somewhat conflicted about it but I've never seen even that........#I've wanted to make this post for SO LONG but it's a very common thing in a lot of fics that I otherwise REALLY LIKE#from authors that I REALLY LOVE AND ADMIRE#and I have no idea if I'm just being completely insane and oversensitive OTL#but I just read yet another fic where Garak was like ''I have no choice but to be grateful you were genetically enhanced#because Jules would never have joined Starfleet so we never would have met.''#and I just want to yell WHY DO YOU ALL ASSUME THAT#like not even getting into assuming that Jules would be permanently significantly intellectually disabled#based on limited information about his early childhood developmental delays#but more importantly assuming he wouldn't (read: couldn't. because I KNOW that's what you mean.) end up on the station#You! Star Trek fan! Do you think people with intellectual or learning disabilities are allowed in Starfleet? Answer quickly! :)#sorry I told you I've held onto this for too long. and now I'm a deranged bitch about it :|
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hey guys who wants another round of tmi
#ive been#this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it#i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm#not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it#has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was#fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa#by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will#always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus#i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being#countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it#has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying#its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man#keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just#thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not#crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive#funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it#tmi#rant#embarrassed myself enough i think#sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough#i'll be okay
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happy halloween i'll be spending the night in a haunted house called my drafts and inbox
#ooc.#this is a joke im lookin forward to write a little#also for anyone that's seen that it's ren's birthday hello i'm sorry i didn't tell y'all#in all fairness HE is not the type to tell people that it's his bday#don't get me wrong. if your muse knows and you choose to say/do something for him then he's grateful (so am i)#but he would not throw a fit or even care in the slightest if you dont do anything#so again: dont worry about missing it. your muse probably doesn't even know that it's his birthday and he's fine with that :)
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Post-vacation clarity in the form of... word vomit? Sure!
First: so very lucky. So very fortunate. Grateful. That I FINALLY got to cross off a bucket-list vacation and see some massive trees and beautiful mountains. Everything I could have imagined! And it's definitely worthy of a re-visit, once time has passed and I've recovered financially.
Second: I'm so amused that my slight trepidation regarding the potential for "culture shock" was unwarranted. See, if you're a rather unsocial midwesterner schooled in the ways of "Minnesota Nice" aka Advanced Passive Aggression, you might be worried about venturing into more direct/easygoing/outgoing cultures. I was delighted to take a vacation from blatant pettiness and passive aggression during my time out west. And honestly? I miss it. San Francisco was pretty agreeable, all things considered, and I will make a point to revisit.
Third: I loved taking the train! And at the same time, I'm heartbroken for the way passenger trains have to operate in this shithole country. Please. I just want so many trains. At all hours, in every direction. And, if it's NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, for assholes to not drag enormous tractor tires onto the tracks. (Fuck you, Utah.)
In conclusion: I'm so happy I went, and now I have to go through my photos while I reluctantly pick up where I left off here. And yes, California, if I can, I absolutely will be back. Thanks for having us.
#April rambles#like I knew I would have a blast but DAMN#it's been a while since I've been genuinely awed by time spent on vacation#and it's a problem because i can feel myself itching to go back#I know it sounds stupid but I'm grateful for how easy it is to interact with other people when in CA#I know it's because you get a lot of tourists but STILL#it was so nice to leave the midwestern bullshit behind FOR ONCE#ohhhhh and the food and the coffee and the scenery aaaaaaa!!!#I know I'm easily impressed so what?#on one hand minnesota is home there's no question about that#but it's nice to know I have a place elsewhere that I will love to visit now and again#amtrak i'm sorry they massacred you#I will ride you again it's not your fault things suck#maybe out to glacier next year?!?!?!#sorry i'm rambling in the tags it's what I do#i just have so MANY strong FEELINGS#psssst Wyrd I will have to visit you next time!!!
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