#i know i certainly don't remember all of this. i've just done my research.

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

sorry but it's just like. exceedingly fucking clear to me that republican controlled state legislatures across the country are testing how far they can go right now. bills like tennessee house bill 0009, kentucky house bill 173, and kentucky senate bill 150 are intended to see how far the current political and judicial climate will allow them to restrict the rights of queer people. republicans did this for a little over a decade before they got roe overturned. (source: the first heartbeat bill was filed in ohio in 2011.)

they are setting up to challenge obergefell and lawrence v. texas. the majority opinion of roe cites the due process clause of the fourteenth amendement, arguing that abortion bans violate a right to privacy. obergefell guarantees the right of same-sex couples to marry through the due process clause and the equal protection clause of the fourteenth amendment. the majority opinion argues that marriage is a private decision the state cannot intrude on, citing loving v. virginia (also based on the due process and equal protection clauses of the fourteenth amendment). the equal protection clause protects same-sex couples from being barred from marrying while their opposite-sex peers can marry freely. the majority opinion of lawrence v. texas cites the due process clause as granting same-sex couples a "protected liberty interest" to have private sexual relations. in a concurrence, justice sandra day o'connor cites the equal protection clause as the reason gay sex should be decriminalized. (note: in some states only same sex intercourse between men was criminalized. in others same sex intercourse between women was also criminalized. in still others anal sex was criminalized regardless of whether the participants were of the same or opposite sex. the texas law being challenged in lawrence criminalized anal and oral sex between men only. the lawrence case made it legal for same-sex couple to have sex for the first time in FOURTEEN STATES. that's 28% of the country.)

bills like tn hb 0009 (which would criminalize "male or female impersonators" (i.e. drag performers) from performing in public; a second offense would be a FELONY), ky hb 173 (a don't say gay bill that would "establish limitations on school personnel related to instruction and discussion on sexual orientation, sexual preference, or gender expression," among other fucked up things), and ky sb 150 (which would force schools to out trans and nonbinary kids to their parents and prohibit schools from making teachers use kids' preferred pronouns) are clearly pushing at the limits of legality. they are trying to get the supreme court to uphold these laws when they are challenged so the conservative supreme court can say that according to historical precedent (cited in overturning roe) and publicly agreed upon morality (cited in bowers v. hardwick, a case that upheld georgia's sodomy law in 1986, which also cited historical precedent). whether publicly agreed upon morality actually condemns queer people is unlikely to matter, given the current leanings of the court.

this is all to say: we have to start paying very close attention. a felony charge means you can't vote. they are trying to make sure we can't vote. we have to start calling our legislators. we have to start engaging our politically unengaged friends. we have to. they are coming for us. they are playing the long game. we need to too.

i spent multiple hours researching this and i would appreciate reblogs. it feels like we have come to this crisis point so quickly. obergefell isn't even a decade old. we cannot be comfortable and we must act.

[itstheval]

Vale Vs Odile

A @livesworthlivingau Side Story

"An old Ka Bue tradition says that you can feel the shape of someone's soul in their Craft. Did you know that?"

Odile's question had come out of nowhere, and Vale felt like it. They'd been relaxing after a well-enjoyed lunch, with Nille off teaching Bonnie something, and Isabeau and Siffrin off…well, the less said about that the better. That left Vale, Mirabelle, and Odile sitting together.

It had been nice, simply sitting in the presence of other people, but…The tone Odile had used demanded an answer, and it clearly wasn't aimed at Mirabelle. So. Them.

"I…Didn't?"

Vale cursed the way their voice sounded. So long spent trying to get used to Stardust's family, and the Researcher still terrified them with how observant she could be. It was that feeling that settled in the pit of their stomach now.

"It's one of the traditions I've come to agree with." The Researcher continued, closing her book - oh, the Housemaiden had done the same now, sitting at rapt attention. This wasn't good. "Just watching how someone fights can give you a much deeper understanding of them. It's also harder for them to keep a mask up, if they're worried about the fight in front of them."

"Why, how delightful to know!" Vale managed to gather their composure - or at least the mask of it - enough to give a bright smile, charming and defenseless. "I'll keep that in mind if I ever go back to Ka Bue!"

"No, Vale. If you've changed so much from the Siffrin I knew, I'd like to know how." Odile's hand went to the log under her, and with slow effort, she pushed herself to stand. "Don't worry. I'll keep my findings to myself. Even if it goes against what I stand for as a Researcher."

Oh, she was teasing them now. She knew the nicknames…and she had to know the why. She's Odile. She's the Researcher. She knew everything. With all the grace of a prisoner on the way to the executioner's block, he stood up and followed her, out onto the road. Not that there was anywhere better to fight…The clearing they'd found was barely large enough for their extended party, and certainly not enough to fight without destroying something or another.

Vale's whip fell to hand easily, and curled against the ground, as Odile's book fell open in her hand. "I may be an old lady," Odile said, by way of starting, "But I'm still one of the Saviors of Vaugarde, so there's no need to hold back-"

"[And The Curtains Open…]"

Vale proved Odile's comments unnecessary as their whip shot out, the gem-ended tip of it flicking at Odile's guard as she winced. That was it, then. Snapping of the whip, the shock of it…still scissors? No, a flat hand, a difference. Her own hand remained flat against her book, as her other twisted in the air, marking out a diamond with the path of two fingers.

"[Scissors III.]"

The diamond of cutting Craft shot out, and Vale's eyes widened slightly as they remembered just how the Madam fought. All three types…This wasn't going to be great, was it? The feeling of Craft scything through clothing and flesh alike answered that in a moment. No, the third of his health that vanished answered. No it was not.

The two watched each other for a moment, circling around slightly, before Odile's hand raised in a flat palm, a symbol for 'stop', and Craft radiated from it.

"[Slow IV]. Come on, I won't pretend I'm the fastest opponent in the world."

"[Give Them A Show.] Just waiting for the opening!" Vale's sing-song response was juxtaposed with their own Craft, canceling the power of the pseudo-Time Craft with their own, and leaving them with more than enough time to strike. This time, they settled for just attacking, their whip dancing in midair and coming in with a sharp CRACK when Odile wasn't expecting it, the constant, flowing motion of it obscuring when an attack would come. Odile flinched back with each attack, letting her craft build, until-

"[Paper Alpha V]" Wait, she shouldn't have-!

Vale flinched back from the powerful attack, only to discover it was nothing of the sort. A basic attack impacted their body, and they stared in confusion.

"What, an old lady can't keep a few tricks? Siffrin and I did talk, you know." She said it with a laugh, as Vale's face went through a truly fascinating series of emotions before eventually settling on amusement.

"What did you even gain from that?" Vale managed to laugh out, shaking their head and feeling where the attack hit, barely impacting enough to damage.

"Think it through, Vale. How do I win this fight? How do you?" Odile answered with a mysterious smile, and then another diamond-shaped burst of Craft shot out, leaving Vale little time to think as they dodged. They kept turning it over in their head, keeping a close eye on the crafty Researcher while they thought about it, whip hanging loosely in their hand…

Whip…hanging loosely…

"Oh you cr-!" Vale's realization was cut off by another burst of basic Papercraft, and the light in Odile's eyes was bright and proud, looking at Vale like a star student! Or…a bright student. Best avoid the S-word.

"Stalling, Vale! The longer you're lost in your own head, the more time I have to rebuild my Craft!" Her words were laced with laughter, and Vale's mind ran through the course of the battle. Blind it, she was right! They'd stopped attacking after that gambit, and she'd taken every turn she could!

"[Scissors III!]" "[That's A Wrap!]"

The cutting craft hurt, but Vale knew that already. What was important was that they didn't flinch in landing their own attack. Creative Craft guided their whip, and they stepped a step closer to the Researcher as the tip began coiling around her arms, the craft thrumming in a constant, slow drain of health. Vale was bleeding, but Odile hung her head, giving a smile.

"They were right, you know. About learning. I Yield." And with that, the Craft fled from Vale's whip, and the fight was ended. Odile rubbed her arms where the whip had squeezed, and smirked as she saw Mirabelle running up to heal the pair.

"Does Petronille know you can do that?"

"Go blind yourself."

Odile was still laughing when Mirabelle healed her.

[hero-next-door]

Defending Nathan Prescott

(From Every Accusation)

All fact proven & common sense theory

No bullshit.

I suck at grammar. Deal with it.

I've replayed the game far too many times to gather this. I read into everything and even read into and WATCHED people who have suffered the same mental illness and situations Nathan has been in.

What I'll be covering:

Illness, rib breaking, dead animals, bdsm, Chloes pic, Rachel, gun on campus, Kate, Pompidou, Jefferson, wealth and his father.

And dont even THINK about skipping ahead!

Everything here is tied into one another. Read from start to finish. You're on this post to understand, right? Or to argue? Im not here to argue so, bye.

Lets start from the top...

Nathans downfall was caused by society and all who failed him. He's driven by hatred of others who don't understand him, and the game purposly wrote him off that way. They want players to hate him from what sides of the stories we've experienced. They gave this character controversial hobbies and a cynical bully attitude to really keep you suspecting him and not guessing Jefferson. The game isn't about Nathan. It's about Max. We learn so much about Max and everyone close to her. The tears they shed, the pains they've endorsed. Same with Chloe and Rachel's story. My heart goes out to all of them. We don't get to see that with other characters. Therefore, we don't care for them...or that's the games' intentions. We don't know the ins and outs of Nathan. Only what the game shows us, which are all negative. So, of course, disliking Nathan is only reasonable.

Mental Illness

We start with mental illness. He has Psychosis. Lots of proof, but i'm assuming you've seen it all already. Like, do people know what Psychosis is? Do they REALLY know what it is? Because this ALONE changes everything. And not Psychopathy ..Psychosis. Two different things, pookie. Psychopathy is the one where part of the brain is missing or disturbed. THEY'RE the ones that don't have empathy. Psychosis is different. Anybody can get it. This illness can take your empathy and awareness away, then bring it all back after the harm is done, leaving you to process that. Schizo and Bipolar are also all quite a handful to deal with too. Loud Noises/downgrading voices in your head SO LOUD that people will do anything to calm them. (Dont be shy, youtube: "28- Psychotic Episode" by Collège d'Alma) The feeling of loosing your mind is something I notice a lot of haters dont empathize on especially if they killed or hurt sombody. The brain slips into a state so disconnected that interviews with recovering patients I've seen describe it as confusing and scary and dont recall saying the stories they told and actions they did others. Imagine not being able to remember the hurtful things you've said and done. Imagine being told you killed somebody... with your own hands? And you can hardly remember what happened. Like... how would you react? Think about it. Anybody can get psychosis with enough trauma or a kick in the noggin. Some people who were interviewed that had psychosis said that they found relief when getting high or drunk. Little did they know the symptoms could bounce back up to 5x during withdrawal. But they were so desperate to get rid of the voices that they abused the drugs. Like....wow the game really did their research to create such a complicated character. Anyway, moving on.

Edit: After further research, he certainly had bipolar disorder first. Then it went left untreated, therefore sunk him to worse mental state of many other illnesses. Drugs only made things much, much worse. Bipolar disorder can cause schizo and schizo to lead to psychosis. 🙄Jesus Nathan quit hogging all the illnesses.

Now, let's break down everything else...

Shooting Chloe

Just rewatch it. Aims gun, Chloe pushes him, it tightens grip, ACCIDENTLY shoots her, immediately drops gun and gets really scared of he's done, checking to see if she's alive! If you specifically rewatch the ending of Lis1 when Chloe gets shot, they extend his reaction. He goes back and forth, checking her body. If he wanted to kill her, you check pulse and then run. Not sticking around crying about it. There's your empathy you're all saying he doesn't have. Other times where he could have shown more empathy ties with his Psychosis. Some people with the illness said that the voices loudly in their head will convince them that everyone around you is your enemy. Everyone is after you. It can twist your brain to feel anger and fear towards others. Nathan is always hung up on how everyone is using him and trying to control him. Which people ..DO use him. So now he's convinced that everyone is. He's not choosing to feel this way. He just needs psychiatric help.

Breaking Ribs

In Before The Storm, his entire demeanor is completely different than the Lis 1. He's more cowardly and not loud and aggressive. We'll be mentioning his creepy "pervy" binder later. Nathan isn't violent until the end IF you let Nathan get bullied and push his life in a negative direction. Sure, it's not Chloe's responsibility, but this is the game's way of showing you his downfall. We need to remember the game hides scenes and expect you to make up what happened behind the scenes. He broke Samantha's ribs over ..what? She's always so desperate to defend Nathan and even gets upset with Chloe when she doesn't help. So, if you tell her the wrong option to pressure kindness into Nathan, it results in him breaking ribs. How, though? Haters immediately hop online to say cause he's a mean and abusive non-empathic nut head. Are you sure he didn't just push her away, and her clumsiness just fell over? This took place after the play...so he possibly...pushed her off... 😰 She did say she was clumsy. You don't think she would have tried to hug or touch him in any way. Ok ok...calm down... Let's take a step back.. You get this "breaking ribs," ending from letting Nathan get bullied and embarrass himself during the play that his father pressured him about! Adding a little "..fuck you.." to the audience. Showing his start to his villain career and the start of him hating everyone, and you tell Samantha to go hug him!? This is the start of his mental spiral if you let things play out this way. But hurting her with intention? No. Lets tie this in with the other endings to their relationship. You get the clumsy ending. She hurts herself differently, and Nathan is with her in the hospital. Saying how he feels bad that she got hurt. (empathy bell) And they continue yo talk about her photo or whatever. Tie this with the rib one, tie this with the Chloe getting shot incident, and tie this with his mental illness. Come on, do i gotta spell it out for you.. Hurting someone is not what he attends to do. Like he quotes in his voice mail. (Speaking of that voice mail, empathy bell.) He does get angry at Samantha and hurts her, and we as players dont know the full story. But what was playing in his head seconds before and the entirety of the game that led up to this IS the reason why he accidentally hurts her. His anger from the entire game was built up and, unfortunately, released on her. Whatever happened, breaking her ribs was not on his to-do list! And then we have.. The good ending. He sits beside her, smiling.

Oh, wait! He's a little psycho with no human emotion? Psychosis has all parts of the brain attached, pookie. For most cases, It can be cured and helped. I can get it. YOU can get it. He has human emotions when he is at his very rare peaceful moments like with this good ending, when with Victoria ig and other scenes we tend to forget. Because painting him as the villain was the games goal. Jefferson was the plot twist.

Daddy Issues, Smug Talk, and a Gun on campus

Simple guys. Simple. You represent this school. You represent our name. This is a legacy. You will not embarrass me. This isn't about you or your problems!

Sure, YOU wouldn't crumble under that pressure, but Nathan sure did. Sure, child abuse isn't an excuse to "kill" people. But is it the child's fault? Sean-beanbag prescott should be arrested for not taking his boy to the asylum. Instead, he argues with a doctor!? Goofy, bro. But so many people are fueled with anger towards Nathan instead. It's whatever. Prescott, literally being his name, was already a red flag to other characters and chose to hate and bully him over it. Drew hated for what his FATHER did. Nathan did ..what again? Notice how that "rich Malfoy talk" wasn't really present in Before The Storm. Sure he tried to burn Drew with a family financial situation insult but the "Im rich, my father owns everything, I got a lawyer, money this and that" wasn't in his character in the Before the Storm. I believe being a prescott wasn't really in his future goals, and he wasn't ever really passionate about it. It's all in the annoyance in his tone with his father before the play. Lis1 he uses it so often to show that he's the boss and in control. He is influenced by representation for his family/school, wealth, intimidation, and of course hatred and believing everyone hates him. In his mind, everyone is against him, after him, and wants to use him. Again, he doesn't choose to think this way. Let me explain my last sentence clearly, though. Imagine being surrounded by a ton of people. All their attention is on you. They hate who you are. They talk about you. You have a defensless stomach sinking feeling and scared because all these people surrounding you are looking at you and all your insecurities and laughing at you. Well, obviouslysome of that is not going on in reality. But to Nathan, that IS his reality, and he has no control over it. Anyways I shouldn't have to keep explaining mental illness and how it stresses the brain. The bottom line is that his status and waving a gun around is what he thinks keep others out of his head. He can barely throw a punch. He had to use his head on warren, and did you catch when Max hit him in that scene? The dude was literally holding onto his face like he'd been battered. Like she did NOT hit that hard lmao. He's weak. He's always been the same tiny Nathan from before the storm. Just now, he uses masks for intimidation to stop his bullies, and anyone he thinks is "after him." He never meant to use a gun on anybody, just a threat. During the second scene where warren reunited a head butt with Nathan.. If you pull off warren, he barely even aims the gun when he runs away towards his room. Cowardly. He feels that he has to, to protect himself. He also uses his father as a threat, but clearly, that never worked. Also, I noticed him crying when you let Warren get crazy on him? Dudes apologizing and sobing? Guess that's not his first rodeo, rip.

Dead Animals

There is no proof he hurt animals. That's not really like him. He does have a list of illnesses, but Psychopathy isn't one of them. Y'all can keep yappin, but it's not. Clearly NOT one of them. He could have hurt an animal during an unaware episode, but there will not be any awareness behind it. Anyways, there are plenty of artists that do the same thing. Nathan is very passionate about photography and protraying solitary but not in the same way Jefferson does. Jefferson certainly uses that manipulation, but we'll get to that later. There are artists that like to shine on death in a positive light and in sorrow. There's also beauty in anatomy. It's not my cup of tea, but someone close to me can name me all kinds of gross organs and would be down to disect any animal. Yuck. But to them.. its fascinating, and they are the greatest people in my life. In love and in empathy. (NOT comparing my pookie to Nathan, PAUSE.) In anatomy theres Education and surprise. Death is also a theme and style too. Skulls and gore, super "rad" fukin "knarly."

BDSM Skip to (●) next part if needed

Ok.. so he's a little frisky. Y'all need to remember this is a fictional game first, okay? Lol Anyway, I can't defend him much here, but I got something. Firstly, the game WANTS you to suspect Nathan. Can't keep his room pretty and pink. They have to make it freaky and spooky. They paint Nathan as the villian for you to only focus on him as a suspect. So that everyones jaws are dropped with Jefferson twirls in.

Anyway...defending BDSM? This can bring trauma to those who have experienced it negatively or view it negatively. So skip to the Frank defense or read more if you want.

Bdsm relationships are very controversial. Some people see it as unhealthy, abusive, and sick. But if you have talked to or listened to other people within these relationships, they state that its completely consensual, safe, harmless, a breach of deep trust with their partners, and simply a fetish or kink The goal is to have fun at your limit..not pass the limit. There are twisted people who have broken that barrier and made it not fun and abusive. That's where I can't argue. If you feel that way towards the topic, I completely empathize with you.

Nathan has shown in his other photos a black and white theme of solitary. And you can tell that he might have taken those bdsm photos himself. As the quality is almost like the Pompidou photo. Everyone blends him taking bdsm photos with his angry behavior and "non empathic" demeanor. But this is where I loop back to Before The Storm hugging-my-binder Nathan. It's shown that in one of his endings, he took photos of Samantha. Obviously, NOT bdsm photos. His binder was a school project. But Samantha obviously consented, and Nathan was passionate enough to show her. He sees them as art. Naked girls have been models for sculptures and paintings. Its beauty. That's IF she was naked in some way in those photos. Which I still doubt. School project. Im sure the photos were gentle and strange and misunderstood, and Drew was just in his bully era. His reaction would have been a lot more eye-opening if he had a face full of tits or straps. Nathan begged for his binder back and even nervously reacted, showing he had love for his work and 'took time with it' (as he quotes when Drew throws it). I bring this up here to show that the women in his photos were indeed given consent, and if hes passionate about depicting his art, hurting them wouldn't be on his agenda. As we all learned today that hurting people was never his intentions until drugs and illness met with pressure and intimidation clouds his brain.

I read up on other artists that painted things similar. In their paintings, they expressed dread, vulnerability, feeling traped, and ..feeling used. If Nathan did find the images he took arousing, then why would he hang them up like everything else in his room like art? I believe that they're depicted in an artful way and in its black and white shading brings a sad darkness. If it's anything like the painters I mentioned, maybe Nathan has a deep level of empathy we don't understand.

●Frank and Pompidou

I didn't even know he took a picture of Franks hurt dog in the road because you little freaks threw his treat in the street!? This will also tie in to chloes pic, but we'll get to that. Frank first, as it's pretty simple. Nathan runs some system with Frank. And it's pretty obvious it's the same thing Drew was doing in Before the Storm. Nathan clearly doesn't like it as he finds it controlling, but getting his hands on drugs is a great way to forget his flaws and calm his illness symptoms. Which only created a loop of his symptoms worsening, as talked about before. His illness is very active towards the end of Before the Storm. You can tell by his huge character difference that drugs only made it worse.

Pompidou is a good dog, but just remember he's not the one who hurt him. This ties in with what we explained in the dead animal phase. The Imagine is black and white. It's a strange art most people don't understand. Man, I don't even understand it. But these people aren't heartless, and they're simply expressing pain. Or.. he took it for the same reason he took Chloes pic. To feel that he's in control, thinking this will help his mental reality of thinking everyone can use him, as explained earlier. But i doubt it. One is in color, and Pompidou is not. One is misguided, and one is "art."

Jefferson, Rachel, Kate, Chloes pic

If i see one more person throw him in the same trash bin as Jefferson, im going to puke. Anyway, I've twisted my head around this story so many times, begging to see the bigger picture. No pun attended. Jefferson was pulling the strings all along ..you know that, right? If Nathan was never there, Jefferson would have still done his disgusting projects. He certainly brought Victoria over without Nathan's usage. He didn't need Nathan, Nathan just made it easier cause he can easily be manipulated. Making Nathan do it all so the consequences will fall on him. Jefferson is smart and knows the right words to say. Nathan is missing the kindness of a father figure. All he has to do is play with his feelings. Nathan falls too easily to kindness. He felt the kindness of Samantha during the good ending, and He felt the kindness from Victoria.. but Victoria toxic bully nature wasn't helping. The bottom line is Jefferson easily manipulates him and understands his mental reality and uses that against him. Adding thoughts into Nathans head. Jefferson learned to use Nathan's illness to his advantage. Nathan trusted Jefferson as did everyone in that school. Why on earth would Jefferson wrong him? He looked up to him, so when Jefferson slowly brought him into his plans of drugging girls, Nathan thought that it was all ..moral. In reality, you and I know obviously that's not okay, but to Nathan (and his severe illness), he trusted Jefferson was doing no wrong. We don't understand the mental strain he was under. Manipulation goes a long way. Heres how he did it. He probably said things like 'We are the same Nathan, this is art just like yours.' It starts small, Nathan gets him the drugs. Then he pulls him in, and Nathan starts drugging the girls for me. Start driving them here. Start helping me inside the dark room. Start helping me inject my victims. Jefferson had so much power over him. He was connected with his father. He can threaten his grade, his representation, and his future in art. He knew all the right things to say and do. He knew how his head worked. Clog him up with drugs, and keep him quiet. Heal his missing father needs and demand him for your needs. Does this not make Nathan a victim, too?

Then ...the Rachel incident happened. Nathan was NOT mentally aware of what he's done. The excited "Rachel!" When he saw Max at the diner clearly shows that he truly expected her to pull up. This mixes with the symptoms we've discussed. He only remembers bits and pieces as obviously it was beyond traumatizing. Sending him in an insane spiral and the infamous psychosis drawing. (Don't be afraid, google psychosis drawings. Damn. Just imagine you recovered from psychosis and laying eyes on that and not remembering you drew that..ugh...I'd cry.) Someone with Psychopathy wouldnt feel traumatized from such events, debunking the fact everyone thinks Nathan has Psychopathy. He doesn't have Psychopathy, he has psychosis. Moving on. Jefferson was certainly angry with him and drugged Nathan himself after the incident, which really helped Nathan to forget what he's done. But Jefferson's anger and not talking to him tore him apart. His emotional attachment clearly wasn't having it. The note he wrote Jefferson in desperate attempt to bring him back after ruining Jefferson plans goes to show just how much he wants that sense of being cared for. If only it was someone else that wasnt Jefferson ..or his dad can do is fucking job too.

Alcohol was certainly a great method of forgetting what he did. So then comes Chloes' interaction with him. We know the story. He did not SA her, I can say that right here and now. Nothing like that was behind this. You can tell by the way Chloe presented the story to Max. There wasn't an uncomfortable tone to her story. She didn't seem traumatized but more shocked, and "it was pretty crazy." She also wasn't drugged for that long. She woke up very soon, fully clothed. What obviously happened is that Nathan used this to feel in control like the mentioned way above. Drugs and Psychosis is no jokes. Who knows what hell is playing in his mind, but I unfortunately believe that this was to try to win back Jefferson. He had been angry at him and ignoring him, and even tho he hates drugging, his confusion and drunk state led him to this. He's cowardly, and his mind is slipping and tries to do what he thinks is right for him. He's misguided and leads down the wrong path.

Nathan did not SA Kate! Kate story breaks my heart into a million pieces, but if she was SA-ed, it wasn't Nathan. After everything I said above, you can tell that that isn't in his character. But here I want to bring up the voicemail. Nathan claims multiple times that he never wanted to hurt anybody, implying that he felt forced to do harm. Something he DID NOT want to do. Why on earth would anybody have felt forced to SA somebody!? I'm not saying Kate WASN'T SA-ed as I can only assume maybe the boys she was shown with in the video did something or Jefferson. Victoria was Kates bully!!! Nathan wanted to be liked by Victoria and was influenced by her nature. He's desperate for attention and kindness. Victoria did far more to hurt Kate and her reason as to why was shit. You go THAT FAR to one up your photography game. Girl, bye. She spread that video, and she still has empathy, too? Her regretting everything? Did she reallyy regret it? Or did she want to make herself look good for her representation? She showed regret via text message in Before The Storm, too? She doesn't have a mental illness, but the game gave her an act of forgiveness and used her as a victim so the audience would sympathize with her. Goes to show you the game controls what they want you to feel. If they were to do that with Nathan..would opinons be different? Taking us into his mind and how he sees the world around him. They could have..but didnt. Well.. We have the voicemail, but obviously, that didn't stop the haters. It's unfortunate. But the game gave me just enough little clues for me to shine light on in this post. They put so much into his character but never showed the audience the truth.

Conclusion

What we've learned today is that Nathan isn't the villain you think. He's been manipulated, used, and needs mental help, but im sure my old Nathan-defending friends have said this time and time again. Im here to add something....

It's been PROVEN that he's capable of all human emotions. You just refuse to believe it because you're mistaking his illness and claiming all of this was intentional. Psychosis can be temporary. It's like a hand that steals your common sense, feelings, empathy, and sympathy, and you're only left with acting on pure chaos and negative or fearful emotions. After long treatment, your sense of reality returns, your feelings, your empathy, your sympathy.. And all you have now is guilt and regret and self blame that you hurt somebody. If you let Nathan kill Chloe, he is arrested. He had doctors aware of his illness and would have been charged with illness in mind. Forcing the treatment he needed ages ago. By the time Lis 2 came out... I wonder how he's taking it all in? What he did to everyone, what he did to Rachel.

He was written off to die, be locked up, and blamed. Unfortunately, he was caught in the crossfires of the harm of our favorite characters. If he was born in a different family and away from Jeff, he would have never hurt anybody. Matter a fact, he would never have suffered with his listed mental illnesses.

This goes out to all real accidental murder cases. There will always be a great divide in opinions. I hate comparing fictional games with real life, but I find it crazy that we call others nonempathtic when they aren't empathic themselves. It's like the word "accidental" is worthless.

Its always a debate..

Do we feel bad for the lives lost and their families

or

Do we feel bad for the mental crumble of the one who never meant to kill and how their familes have to deal with that.

Are they worthy to walk this earth? Are they worthy to see the daylight again? Are they still human, too? Should they die, too? Is redemption possible?

Who knows. Peoples opinions won't change unless they themselves fall onto the opposing team. If they were to suffer the chaos of accidentally murdering someone or the grief of losing someone from an accidental murder.

Red Nathan, the first Nathan we all experienced from Lis1. Damaged and doomed. Used and mentally obstructed. It's unfortunate things ended this way.

Blue Nathan, Appears in Before the slStorm and Max's alternate timeline. He is clean and hasn't touched drugs. He had not been involved in crimes or violence yet. In this alternate timeline, he has been somehow saved and kept away from mental destruction and Jefferson. We will never really know what drove Nathan towards this peaceful path, but I assumed that it was the kindness of Max that led him in the right direction. (Max somehow changed Victoria, too. With her demeanor being so gentle. I really am curious about the whole back story of that timeline... I think about it alot)

[leniisreallycool]

Herbalist MC Part 1

Disclaimer: this is based on my own limited knowledge and experience. Do not take any of this as medical advice to any capacity until you have done your own thorough research. Some of the mentioned herbs are toxic and even deadly when handled improperly. As an herbalist I strive to maintain factual accuracy, but I may make mistakes that could be fatal. Do your own research.

---

I feel like Solomon is one of the first to recognize their skills. They were using the kitchen in Purgatory Hall instead of the one at the House of Lamentation (it was under repair once again) to prepare a human-safe cream for their dry skin.

"What's this? Is my dear apprentice finally taking a hands on interest in sorcery?" Solomon steps into the kitchen when he hears glass clinking and someone clattering around noisily, usually a sure sign someone was preparing a meal. This time, however, it was you.

He takes a look around. The pleasant floral scent over calendula fills the air. There's a massive pot on the stove, something boiling furiously inside. Curiously, the lid is on upside down with a plastic bag of melting ice on top.

On the other side of the kitchen, a glass jar lays tipped over on the granite countertop, golden flower heads scattered on the counter. That must have been the source of the glass he heard moments ago.

You look over at him with a slight grin as you sweep the fallen petals from the counter into a clean bowl. "No, this is all human world stuff. I'm going to make a cream for my hands. Asmo keeps scolding me for letting them get so dry."

Solomon hums softly. It had been many decades since he himself had practiced human medicine. No longer familiar with herbalism techniques, he steps inside and pulls out a stool to watch. "You don't mind if I stick around, do you?"

"No, that's fine with me! Just don't touch anything. I know what I'm doing and if you mess with anything I might not be able to fix it."

He's content to just watch in peaceful silence for now. You do seem to know what you're doing - you're confident in every movement you make. The moment feels oddly domestic, with you whipping up some interesting concoction and him sitting contentedly to the side, allowing you to work.

Eventually, his curiosity gets the better of him. "You mentioned a hand cream, but what is that on the stove?"

Setting the bowl of petals down on the now clean counter with a quiet clink, you remove the baggie from the lid and dump the water into the sink. "I'm making a hydrosol first," you reply, refilling the baggie with ice from the freezer next to the stove, "to be one of the main ingredients in the cream. Calendula is really good for a lot of different things, but in this case we're mostly focusing on its wound healing properties. It's anti-inflammatory and soothing to dry, cracked skin."

"I see. If I remember correctly, calendula is believed to induce prophetic dreams to protect against theft and burglary. You could certainly use that around a certain brother." Solomon holds his chin in that silly philosophical pose he does so often. "I'm all for experimentation in pursuit of knowledge, but is that pot not a simplified pressure cooker with none of the testing to ensure its safety?"

You giggle and shake your head. "No, it's perfectly safe. Maybe if I wasn't monitoring it, it could be dangerous, but I've done this plenty of times. See, having the lid on would normally create pressure with the water boiling in the bottom, but the ice on top rapidly cools the water vapor, making it drip into a bowl inside the pot. Basically the steam cools down so quickly pressure can't build up."

He nods once more, content with your explanation. For once, he's not the expert and he's willing to learn from you. "Interesting how similar this is to sorcery..." he muses.

"Yeah, I've noticed that." You replace the baggie ice in the lid again. "I think that's why so many herbalists were ostracized or punished for being witches, even if they weren't. The main difference I've seen, now that I've practiced both, is whether there's magic involved or not."

"Or if you're using ingredients native to either the Devildom or the Celestial Realm. Which I suppose is a more specific way of saying there's magic involved," Solomon adds.

Neither of you have much of relevance to say after that. After an hour or so, you remove the finished hydrosol from the pot (ignoring Solomon's gentle teasing about the slightly insane but creative usage of an upside down colander to hold the little glass jar above the boiling herbs) and let it cool before doing anything else.

"Making the hydrosol took longer than I expected, so I don't have time to make the cream today. The hydrosol has to be room temperature before I can start," you say. "And now I also have this super concentrated calendula tea in addition to the hydrosol. Maybe I'll make soap out of it."

"You know how to make soap?" Solomon asks. His gray eyes, normally guarded, widened in disbelief makes you laugh.

"Yeah, it's not hard. I can come over again soon to show you how, if you want." It's a genuine offer. He taught you most of your practical sorcery, so it's only fair for you to teach him ordinary chemistry and herbalism in return. That, and you just enjoy his company.

Solomon grins, openly joyful at the prospect. "Absolutely! I would love that."

"Okay! I'll text you when I have time to come back."

---

Note: The disclaimer at the top won't always apply but I will add it to every post in this series. Some herbs are entirely harmless. However, I don't want anyone to see this and think it's okay to use any herb in any preparation without doing their own research. I don't know what kind of skills you have. I don't know what allergies you have. You might not know what allergies you have. Always take these types of things with a grain of salt.

[angelpuns]

The Igloo - TMNT Minific

( Herr's my fic from the @turtlestogetherzine !! I kept forgetting to post it ;-; )

It had taken him nearly all morning, but his masterpiece was finally complete!

Donnie stepped back to admire his creation - a real-life igloo! 

He turned, hearing a couple of shouts behind him. Just as he predicted, Leo had dragged Raph into a snowball fight - which meant Donnie was gonna get cold snow shoved into his jacket at some point. Not this time, though! 

He wasted no time crawling inside. 

He'd been planning this for months - he'd done a ton of research in igloos and how they worked.

If he remembered correctly, the super packed snow would help keep him warm. At least, a little warmer than it was outside. 

Donnie dragged the tools he'd brought in behind him, setting them in a corner of the igloo. He could at least make it a bit more homely in here, since he was gonna be stuck til their snowball fight finished.

He spent the next few minutes working on the inside - drawing out diagrams in the snow walls and imagining it was actually an elaborate laboratory. He'd been wanting to start one for a while, but Papa was not being reasonable. He could be safe with a propane torch! 

Donnie only stopped when someone poked their head in the igloo - his plastic shovel held up in defense. 

"Whatcha doin' in here, Dee?" It was just April, but Donnie found her coy smile a little too untrustworthy.  

"I decided to make a fortress. I've been researching igloos for months now and decided this was the best way to prevent getting roped into yet another snowball fight," He explained, still holding up the shovel, "it's my safe-haven."  

"Mind if I join ya? It's a bloodbath out there." She sounded friendly enough, but Donnie could see from here that she had her hand behind her back - likely a planned ambush. 

"Sorry, April, but I cannot let anyone in without a security check."

April scoffed, poking her head even further into the entrance, "Let me in or I'm telling Splints about your little scrap yard escapade last month.” 

Donnie grimaced at that, quickly compiling a pros and cons list of why he should agree. 

No matter which way he put it, letting April in was his best choice. 

Donnie sighed, setting the shovel aside and gesturing inside. 

"Fine. But don't you dare bring any snowballs in here, " He muttered, pulling his arms in close and zipping his jacket further up his neck, "I worked hard to keep the heat in!" 

April shrugged, a snowball plopping onto the ground next to her. As always, he was right. 

April crawled into the igloo, eyes widening when she saw how big it was inside. It could fit all of them if he really wanted (he most certainly did not).  

"Wow, Donnie! This is amazing. You built this by yourself?" April sat cross-legged across from him, admiring the dome, "What's with the drawings?"

Donnie flushed a little, shrugging, "I was pretending it was a lab…but yes, I did build it myself. Did you know that the tighter the snow is packed the more heat it keeps in? And, the reason it doesn't melt is cause-" 

"WOAH! Donnie, did you build a house!?" 

Donnie frowned when he was interrupted, turning to aim a glare at Mikey. His younger brother had poked his head in the entrance, but was craning to see farther inside. 

"Actually, Michael, it's called an igloo-"

"COOL! Can I please please pleeeeaaaase come in?" Mikey poked his head a little further in, "I'll be the goodest hou-igloo  guest ever!"

"First of all, goodest is not a word. Second, no you may not. I only have so much room in here," Donnie scoffed. He was stretching the truth a bit, but what did Mikey know? He was only six!

"But…but I said I'd be the goodest- the bestest house guest ever…" Mikey murmured, his expression quickly falling into the sad puppy dog eyes. 

Donnie hesitated, before quickly shaking his head, "Sorry, I can't bend the rules for you, Mikey."

April gave him a look, but that wasn't what made him change his mind. Sniffles came from the entrance of the igloo, Donnie regrettably glancing over. Mikey was fully sobbing, huge crocodile tears slipping down his cheeks. 

"Oh- don't… Sigh. Don't cry, please don't cry, Angelo…" Donnie attempted to soothe him, crawling over to the entrance and beckoning his youngest brother a bit closer, "I…guess we have room for one more. Just please don't cry." 

Somehow Mikey's tears always ended up getting to him. He felt so…icky making him cry. 

Mikey brightened up at that, crawling inside and practically tackling Donnie into a hug. 

"There…there. I let you in so now you can't cry," He murmured, giving Mikey a couple of pats on his beanie-covered head. 

Mikey rubbed his face a couple times on Donnie's coat, no doubt leaving a trail of slime and who knows what else. Eugh. He really wished he'd thought to bring tissues. 

"Thank you, Dee. You're the be-bestest." Mikey murmured, happily squeezing Donnie once more before thankfully moving away. He wiped his face and sat cross-legged next to April, watching Donnie expectedly. 

"Soooooo, what now?"

"Well I didn't exactly plan for visitors. I suppose I could finish explaining the thermal capabilities of the igloo itself, but-" 

"You guys havin' a party in here or somethin'?"

Donnie groaned, scrubbing a hand down his face and dead panning towards the entrance. 

"No, Raph. I've simply been a weak turtle," Donnie explained, Raph just giving him a slightly confused look, "Sigh…I suppose you're going to try and convince me to let you in?" 

Raph blinked at him a couple times, before grinning, "I got just the thing!"

Donnie opened his mouth to argue that it wasn't an invitation, but Raph quickly left. Donnie didn't know what he'd try to convince him with, but he wasn't going to let it work. Even if it was lunch (he was getting awfully hungry…) 

Raph was back moments later, poking his head in with a grin. Donnie was relieved he'd made the specs so large. Even if he hadn't anticipated guests, he adhered to the phrase 'go big or go home'. 

"How's this for an invite?" Raph shoved several blankets through the entrance, watching Donnie with a grin. 

Donnie thought for a moment, before audibly sighing. The igloo could only keep them so warm anyway. One more body and several blankets wouldn't hurt.  

"Alright. Make yourself comfortable, but be mindful of the walls," He warned, watching as Raph slowly crawled into the igloo. April and Mikey had already grabbed blankets, the both of them scooting over to make room for Raph.

Raph pulled a blanket over himself as well, though it was severely lacking in size. 

Donnie grabbed a blanket for himself as well, relishing in the warmth for a moment before sighing. 

"Everyone comfortable?"

Nods around the room. 

"Alright, finally. As I was explaining earlier, the igloo obviously doesn't have a heating system, but it keeps the person inside warm through a very specific building process-" 

"GUYS!? WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO!?" 

Donnie groaned, pulling the blanket up and over his head. Of course Leo still found a way to interrupt him. He just wanted to explain how the igloo worked! Was that too much to ask!?

Leo's shouting grew louder and louder until it was just outside of the entrance. Donnie grabbed his plastic shovel, holding it up to defend himself. 

A moment later Leo poked his head into the igloo. 

He was crawling inside before Donnie could stop him. 

"Oh, hey! You built a igloo-"

"Stay back, Leo. You're not allowed in here." Donnie huffed, moving to block Leo from coming in, "It's supposed to be a sanctuary."

"Sanctuwhat..?" Leo poked his head in a little further to see the rest of the group. He frowned, turning back to Donnie, "What, everyone else is allowed but me? I'm your twin!" 

"So? You're not allowed in cause you're gonna start another snowball fight." Donnie scoffed. He felt a little twinge of guilt, but he knew Leo. And he knew he'd figure out a way to rope Donnie into a fight. 

"You let Raph in!" 

"He came bearing gifts," Donnie retorted, holding up the corner of his blankets, "Anyway, I have a sign here. No Leos."

He pointed to the wall, where he had in fact scrawled a sign that said 'no Leos'. 

"I can't even read that!" Leo scoffed, "Just let me in, Dee, you're not playing fair!" 

"I said no, Leo. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some explaining to-"

"What if I promise no snowballs?" 

Donnie shook his head, fixing Leo with a stare. One that he hoped was intimidating. 

Leo stared back, expression just as hard. But then his eyes drooped a little and he hurriedly turned away. His boots crunched the snow around the igloo for a moment before fading.

"Wow. I didn't think he'd actually listen..." Donnie chuckled, tossing the shovel back in his bucket, "Now as I was saying…" 

"Donnie, don't you think we can let him in? Raph feels a little bad…" 

Donnie sighed, "No, Raph. I wrote a sign and everything. I spent a long time on this and I don't want it to be destroyed by hurricane Leo." 

They were silent for a moment, Donnie clearing his throat to start again. Only to be interrupted by Mikey. 

"But…Leo can play nice if you ask real polite! " He added, "And- and he promised no snowballs!" 

Donnie groaned, "I know, but that was probably just a lie to get in. I do not plan on having snow shoved down my jacket today, alright?"

He glanced at April, "Have anything to say or can I do my speech?"

April just shrugged, "Go ahead, Donnie. But I'm leavin' once you're done" 

Fine. He didn't invite her in anyway. 

"So! The way the igloo keeps in heat-" 

"...Donnie?" 

"What is it now!?" Donnie turned towards the voice, only to see Leo poking his head in again, "Leo, I said no. What do you want?" 

"I just thought you guys might be hungry…" He murmured, holding up a lunchbox and a thermos, "Dad made hot chocolate. and sandwiches."

"Ooh hot chocolate! " Mikey crawled out from under his blanket, fumbling his way towards the entrance. April followed. Raph glanced between Donnie and the entrance, before making his way over as well. 

Donnie watched them go with a frown. Fine! He hadn't wanted guests anyway. 

He pulled the blanket tighter around himself, staring at the No Leo sign. So what? He wasn't hungry. His stomach growled in response. Okay, he was a little hungry. 

He made another pros and cons list in his heads, potential mishaps flooding his brain. Donnie groaned. There were - unfortunately- more pros than cons. 

And he was hungry. 

And lonely.

He had to tell someone about how igloos worked. 

So, he set his blanket aside and crawled out of the igloo. He squinted against the sudden sunlight, his family a few feet away.  

His brothers and April were all sitting in the snow, sipping from the thermos and eating their sandwiches. 

Donnie walked over, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He hated being wrong. And he hated doing apologies. But he…wasn't playing nice. And that was probably why he felt so icky. 

"...Do you all wanna eat in my igloo?" He murmured, staring at his feet, "It's warmer in there."

"Donnie-" 

Leo cut April off, “I never thought you'd ask, Dee! You gonna tell us how that thing works or not?" 

Donnie stiffened a bit at that, nodding. He didn't move, the rest of them gathering up their lunch and heading for the igloo. 

Leo stopped and held out a sandwich, "Here. I know you're real bad at 'pologies. But that's okay." 

He wrapped an arm around Donnie's shoulder and gave him a warm squeeze, "I promise I won't start another snowball fight….yet.”

Donnie chuckled a bit at that. 

"Just let me win, okay?" 

[lyssalis-corner]

Some Thoughts on Music, and Women

So, there's a quote floating around the internet from Sandy Toskig, about a particular incident that cause her to wonder how many times she had overlooked Women's Contribution to history. Now, I have some Thoughts about this.

You know what I've gotten really into? Sea shanties. Older folk music. I did a little researching, and learned about what the grand ol' tradition of shanties is for; essentially they're for timing rhythmic jobs, like rowing or adjusting rigging. Now, maybe it's that I'm a musician from a family of fairly musically inclined people, or maybe it's that I'm an ex-ballerina, but do know what I find sea shanties are really good for? Knitting. Sewing. Doing the dishes. Conventionally domestic feminine tasks. And further more, I bet they'd be great for spinning (I don't have the stuff to do this one, so I don't know), weaving, or other tasks that are repetitively rhythmic. But I'm going to focus on the knitting angle, since I have experience with that one.

Knitting is very rhythmic, and if you can find a way to time yourself (with, say, sea shanties for example), I've found it results in far more consistent stitches than just sitting and letting my mind wander. Songs like The Wellerman, or Leave Her Johnny, or (my personal favorite) Jolly Sailor Bold, are all great. They have a sharp steady beat that's easy to follow, catchy tunes that are fun to hum, and lyrics that are easier to remember. They're not complicated musically, either. I've found that there are different patterns that pair well with different songs; The Wellerman is great for knitting Estonian Lace, My Mother Told Me is good for some dishcloth patterns I've been experimenting with, or knitting in the round, Jolly Sailor Bold is also a good one for lace.

Speaking of Jolly Sailor Bold, I've been wondering about this one; it's fundamentally (at least to me) from a woman's perspective. According to Wikipedia, sailors have been singing on boats for at least a couple centuries, but why would a man have written this one? And it seems to me to identify very specific feelings that come from being left behind, when the one you love is off at sea. I propose that perhaps this one is woman originated. Maybe there's even an entire culture killed by the Industrial Revolution or by the Reformation, one of women's songs for knitting and spinning. It's certainly not something I've ever read about (if you've got books or sources on this, let me know, I'd be thrilled to read them!), but it's also something that I have a nearly impossible time believing didn't exist. Maybe many of these songs really have a woman at their origin, or maybe women's music has simply been lost.

Or maybe I just haven't looked in the right places, or hard enough. But it seems to me that there has to have been a culture revolving around these tasks, things done every day, by everyone.

Again, these are just my thoughts and opinions, formulated after some research and some coincidentally gained experience.

[sophieinwonderland]

(Genuine question, it sounds rude but we're just kind of confused lmao)

Why do you keep speaking on stuff about traumagenic systems? Like I know you're plural but that doesn't mean that you should talk about traumagenic plurality like you know better than traumagenic systems.

I'll admit this is something that's difficult to navigate for.

When trying to learn about plurality, I listened to a lot of systems and read a lot of papers. All to understand myself better and where the lines are between my experiences and those of other systems. And it's left me in a weird place where I think I have more academic knowledge of dissociative disorders than a many CDD systems but without any personal experience.

I certainly won't claim to have these experiences or know what these disorders are like first hand. But I've done the research and can cite the what doctors have said. And I can refer to other people's personal anecdotes when they're relevant. And I feel these are things anyone can do.

I think that people with knowledge should actually be encouraged to share it when they can, whether that comes from studying the science or from sharing anecdotes from their friends.

It's important to remember that having a disorder doesn't make one an expert in it. It only makes one an expert in their own experiences.

We're actually perfect examples of this.

The only mental disorder we're diagnosed with is ASD, and I've done absolutely no research into autism at all. I know how our disorder presents. But if you asked me about any other forms of autism, I would be completely clueless.

And you can see this a lot on r/systemscringe too, where some people will have DID, but fakeclaim people for things like having too many alters just because their own system is small. Or for having perfect communication just because their own communication is bad. Or for having inner worlds. All because these presentations don't match with their own, and they think their own presentation of a disorder makes them experts in all of its forms.

I don't claim to be an expert either, but I do think it's beneficial to share the bits of knowledge I've picked up along the way. Especially when shutting down fakeclaimers who are spreading harmful misinformation.

[misc-obeyme]

anon that asked about lord diavolo's spotlight event here! (LONG rant incoming, hope you don't mind)

first of all, oml thank you so much for going out of your way to do this much research on it! certainly, if we count the events that aren't necessarily listed as spotlight events, there are bound to be more for some of the characters, and that's the point; i don't even want an official spotlight event for diavolo or luke (though deserved), even just one that is focused on them would be enough for me at this point, because the constant "pushed into the sidelines" treatment given to characters like beel, belphie, luke (poor child is literally neglected) and especially diavolo is exhausting! diavolo's treatment might even be worse with the mischaracterisation and lack of effort to actually analyse his character and see why he does the things he does (by even the devs sometimes -> being written off as "wow so kind", "wow so childish", etc. etc.) running rampant in the fandom (warm hugs to the lovelies who actually care). i'm overjoyed that my love solomon is beginning to get the recognition he deserves, but my god you have such delicious characters like dia with such delectable flaws due to past trauma in front of you, and you just choose to...ignore them?! don't make a game with FIFTEEN characters if you're not gonna care about half of them!

the way people (understandably) want to see all these guys like michael and the demon king while i'm here profusely sweating with worry about the game's already declining writing quality going further downhill with these additions ☠️ like yes, i wanna see them too, but PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF DIAVOLO. FIRST FEED YOUR BABIES BEFORE BRINGING IN MORE.

Oh welcome back, anon! And no, I don't mind long rants, so no worries there!

There are definitely more events that had "spotlights" if not officially I guess?? I dunno how to describe it lol. But you are correct, from what I can remember they didn't have one of the non-spotlight character focused events for Diavolo.

I was curious about the events that didn't have a spotlight listed and how that would change the numbers. I've added them into the list, which I am again putting below a read more at the end of this answer lol.

There was one Celestial Blessing event with outfits in OG after the spotlights began. It was called Valentine's Day Canceled?! and I would have considered it a shared event for Levi & Beel.

Most of the ones in Nightbringer have been for the entire cast, but there was The Demon's Gambit which I felt could have been a Belphie spotlight. Then there was Blue Spring Paradise which could have been a Levi spotlight. And The Scroll of Thirst that could have been a Solomon spotlight. The rest seemed to be mostly about everybody from what I remembered, except for the Vampire event which seemed to focus more on the side characters.

So if you count those events, here's the updated list:

Lucifer - 1 solo, 1 shared Mammon - 2 solo, 2 shared Levi - 1 solo, 2 shared Satan - 2 solo, 1 shared Asmo - 2 solo, 2 shared Beel - 1 solo, 1 shared Belphie - 2 solo

Diavolo - none Barbatos - 3 solo Simeon - 1 solo, 1 shared Solomon - 2 solo Luke - none

It's really confusing, honestly. I don't know why they haven't done Diavolo yet. I always thought he was a pretty popular character??

Anyway, the non official spotlight events seem to be few and far between, so I think we might get an actual spotlight for him sooner? But maybe not??? It's impossible to say with this game, honestly.

The only event in which Diavolo had a more prominent role was A Star for You. I remember it because I loved that event. But they didn't list him as sharing the spotlight with Satan for some reason. I kinda feel like they could have.

ANYWAY not to get overly detailed about which events had who in them YET AGAIN lolol I'm sorry this is just my default mode.

But anyway, I have to agree with you. They've never paid equal attention to their characters. It's always bothered me. Lucifer is their sweet baby boy and while I like him nowadays, I don't like how they focus on him so much that it takes away from the character development of the others.

I also agree about new characters. Like please just give us some development for the characters we already have, thanks. No need to add more, as interesting as it would be to see the designs and what not, I'd rather have further development of the current characters.

Especially the side characters. There is so much potential that they just waste and I think maybe that's why I like writing fic for this fandom lol. That's a little weird, I guess, but it's a lot more fun to take an underdeveloped character and give them all that extra nuance that they're lacking in the source material.

I have my own characterizations and headcanons that fill in that missing stuff because otherwise my brain is like, this doesn't work. Though to be fair, I think a big part of the issue with the writing quality is the format of the game. And my brain is always thinking in terms of an actual novel.

I'm still holding on to hope for Solomon and Barbatos having decent backstories when they're finally revealed. I'll rewrite them both if I have to, though.

Non spotlight events indicated with a ~

Starting with events that were only in OG.

Satan: A Star for You Barbatos: Super Smash Devils ~Levi & Beel: Valentine's Day Canceled?! Mammon & Asmo: Princess Rose Simeon: A Weird White Day

The rest of these were in NB as well.

Lucifer & Asmo: The Cursed Seed and the Fertilizing Flame ~Belphie: The Demon's Gambit Simeon & Mammon: RAD on Stage Satan & Levi: Whisked Away ~Side Characters: The Vampire Special Mammon: Hell Marine Festival Lucifer: Terrible Time Trouble ~Levi: Blue Spring Paradise Asmo: Devil's Water Panic! Barbatos: Fangol Ultra Bowl ~Solomon: The Scroll of Thirst Mammon: An A-mazing Adventure ~Everybody: Trick or Treat Asmo: Fabulicious Beel: The Great Devildom Outdoors ~Everybody: Happy Holidays! Satan: Exciting Inn-cidents! Solomon: Bon Voyage! ~Everybody: Absolute Zero Belphie: Poison Hunting & Candy Making! Barbatos: Dust Storm Panic

[inposterumcumgaudio]

Poedit Cut/Unused Content: Hallucinogenic_Salad

or "Remember Remember"

Objectives:

Find Ed Frankland

Listen for Clues

Listen for More Clues

Just a Few More Clues

Charm the Chemist

Talk to Ed Frankland

Find the Hallucinogenic Recipe

Quest Notes:

he's supposed to be somewhere in this house. i wonder where the lab is?

he's supposed to be somewhere in this house. where would you put a lab if you were in the garden district?

i'll need to listen and see what i can learn about him that only someone who knows him would know.

the actress and the bishop, eh?

i'll need a little bit more than that

he stole a bobby's hat with a mate and some girls? i've certainly done that. why not with him?

i think i almost have enough.

when people believe your ridiculous stories, you have to believe theirs. he swears his parrot wasn't really dead? i can believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast

maybe if i convince him i'm a friend he just doesn't remember, he'll let me know what he's discovered. the old one wild night gag.

i just have to convince a man who's never met me that we had a wild drunken night together. well. i've done it before.

men will believe anything if they think they'll get into your knickers.

he's got 99 bad recipes and one good one. where's the good one?

sorry ed. it was a fabulous night, but everything has to end some time.

Dialogue:

000 PC_Sal Ed Frankland's doing research on Histoplasma mushrooms in the Garden District? I've never managed to make a decent extract. Maybe I should pay him a visit.

002 PC_Sal Let's see what Stewart's got to say for himself.

002 WellM Ed hasn't come down from the attic in days.

004 WellF You know how paranoid he gets when he's doing chemistry. Someone might steal his thoughts!

006 PC_Sal Sounds like someone's been taking too much of their own medicine. I wonder if I can charm him into revealing his secrets.

008 PC_Sal I should probably snoop around a bit before I try to talk to him.

010 PC_Sal How can someone who lives like this do any science at all?

011a WellF You know how paranoid he gets when he's doing chemistry. Someone might steal his formula!

011b WellM Look, don't get me wrong, we're mates, right? Back in the day, me and him and some birds stole a bobby's hat. Haw. But as a chemist, well, I still feel bugs crawling in my hair.

011c WellF You don't have any hair.

011d WellM I don't have any bugs either. But I feel'em.

011e WellF Remember back in the Village, he had that dead parrot?

011f WellF And he insisted it was just sleeping? And then he said it "flew away"?

011g WellM See? Bugs.

001h WellF Well he's got a whole new recipe now, he says, and it's perfect.

011i WellM I hope it gets rid of the goddamn bugs.

030 WellM "No, those are the nuts. No, THOSE are the nuts." How long has he been telling that stupid joke? I swear if I have to hear it again, I'll kill him. See if I don't.

034 WellM Tattoo it on his bloody arm. "You already told everybody the stupid fucking joke about the actress and the bishop."

036 PC_Sal I think I've got enough. I hope I can pull this off.

038 PC_Sal Ed! I found you!

040 WellM Who are you?

042 PC_Sal Ed, don't you remember me? Sally! Sally Boyle?

044 WellM Do I … know you?

046 PC_Sal Don't you remember?

048 WellM No… I don't remember you at all. Are you a spy? Are you trying to steal my thoughts? GET HER OUT OF HERE, SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL MY THOUGHTS!

050 PC_Sal You told me that hilarious joke about the actress and the bishop!

052 WellM Ohhhh. Was it … at the pub?

054 PC_Sal And then we got a little excited and … well, don't you remember stealing that bobby's hat? That was very naughty of you.

056 WellM You were there?

058 PC_Sal I can't believe you don't remember me! I have never forgotten you!

060 WellM Were we … close …?

062 PC_Sal I'd say we were pretty close that night. And then you never called me again.

064 WellM Ohhhhhh.

066 PC_Sal You had that parrot that everyone said was dead, but you said it was just sleeping, and sure enough, it flew away!

068 WellM Yes! Nobody believes me about that! Yes, exactly!

070 WellM See, lads! It was alive! This is Sally! We were close. For a--

072 PC_Sal --short while. Are you studying histoplasma mushrooms? I've never managed to make a proper extract.

074 WellM Oh, of course. You're a chemist, too … I guess? Believe me, it's not easy. That box is full of ninety-nine failed recipes and one good one.

076 WellM Oh, gosh, I'm so excited to have someone to talk to. I ah … I'm sorry, I just have to … Nature calls! Bit of an infection down there. More than you need to know about. I'll be right back. Do not go away!

078 PC_Sal I'll be right here!

080 PC_Sal So that's the box with his recipe for hallucinogenic extract!

082 WellM Why didn't you call her back, you idiot! She likes you!

084 PC_Sal Sorry, Ed! Must dash! Back soon!

086 PC_Sal Well, there you go, Gwen. Men will believe anything if they think it'll get your knickers off.

Cut quest for Sally. The second italicized quest note is for a second, slightly different activation text for the first objective, FindThe Researcher. Line 002 I think is just misplaced.

Given that this is so developed compared to Arthur's quest on the same set piece, I have to wonder if the histoplasma house wasn't actually designed for Sally's quest and only given Arthur's later so as not to waste it.

The objectives and quests notes don't specify that this is how Sally would learn to craft hallucinogen, but it is described as an extract in its item description and the formula in this quest is also described that way.

Ultimately, I think this was cut because it undermines Sally's character. Her story is about feminism being an objectively talented chemist who is arguably more brilliant than all the men around her but not feeling secure in that talent enough to rely on it instead of her beauty and charisma. In this quest, she states she's been unable to figure out how to synthesize a histoplasma extract on her own and needs to steal the formula from a man who did. If Sally's really as good a chemist as the game would have you believe, she cannot be out stealing work from men.

Aside from the gender power struggle element though,t his is not really that different from having to ask the Witches for help. However, I think there's an argument that Sally's not asking for their them to work out the formulas per se but for their intimate knowledge of the local flora and fauna, which Sally lacks. That is, Sally probably could figure out the formula on her own (which she probably did do for Strawberry) if she already knew what ingredients she could use to substitute, already knew the chemical makeup of those new ingredients or had time to deconstruct them to find out, and didn't also have to forage for them first.

[tsukarysgrimoire]

Ranting of the day

Beware loooong rant ahead.

There are many things I can't understand, not because I'm stupid, far from it, but simply because I don't think like most people.

All my life I've felt strange, isolated, as if I didn't belong in the world around me. I still do, but at least now I know why, and that's been a great relief. I remember the first time I went to see my psychiatrist, I said to him 'Doctor, I'm not normal' and he replied 'What's normal?', which is a good question, because thanks to him I understood that there isn't a right way of thinking and a wrong way of thinking. We can't control how our brain, our mind, reacts and works. After more than fifteen years of therapy, I have an explanation for why I feel out of step, why I don't think like other people. It's called HPI, which, I've learnt from a little research, doesn't mean that I'm more intelligent than others, but that I'm intelligent in a different way. That my way of thinking doesn't follow the same path as 'normal' people. If a 'normal' person's way of thinking is a highway, then mine is a country road, slowly winding, with many stops to admire the landscape, the trees, the fields… And a lot of junctions leading to other places, other things.

Add to that the fact that I might also be borderline Asperger's and you can see why I'm not cut out to understand things like most people. I react differently to many things. For example, a situation that would move most people can leave me indifferent, and conversely, a situation that most people would ignore can send me into a state of incredible depression or distress. When I was little, my mother used to say to me, 'You'd cry over a dead leaf'!

Probably because of all this, or the fact that I was bullied throughout my schooling for being different, I've also become a hard person who doesn't forgive easily, either myself or others. Loyal to the bone, I can't stand betrayal, or at least what I perceive to be betrayal. And like many people in my situation, I can't stand injustice, or what I perceive to be injustice.

Of course, it's not just about my everyday life, but also about how I perceive the media.

That includes, of course, the show we all love, The Bad Batch.

When they first appeared in The Clones Wars, I can't say I was impressed. Their team was so full of clichés that it was a clichés in itself: the cheap Rambo, the nerdy guy with glasses, the big bully with big arms and a big heart and… the lone sniper. While I was indifferent to the first three, I was drawn to Crosshair, his design, his character, his outspokenness and the fact that he was a sniper. The world saw him as a selfish, proud, indifferent prick, but I saw someone who dared to speak the naked truth, the truth that no one wants to admit, but which is very real. I've read a lot of reactions applauding the fact that Rex punched Crosshair in the face for being so insensitive. But as I see it, it's not Crosshair's fault that Rex is so weak-minded that he can't handle the truth as it is. What Crosshair says may be brutal, but it's the truth.

Crosshair isn't a perfect character, far from it, and that's why I loved him. I'm bored with nice, fearless heroes who can do no wrong. … Even when I was a kid, I liked the 'bad guys' more than the 'good guys'. I seem to particularly like the dark characters, the ones who aren't afraid to do what needs to be done, even if you end up hating them for it.

I hated the first two seasons of the show for that reason. The good heroes running away from the evil empire for no real reason and thinking they're better than they are because they didn't fall into the trap… lol.

Not to mention that I had absolutely no interest in the kid they picked up along the way. She was just an extra we could have done without.

The only reason I watched the show was Crosshair. And I was very disappointed, not only by the show, but also by people's reactions. Of course, everyone's entitled to their opinion, as I am. I'm certainly not going to apologise for it. I'm certainly not going to apologise for thinking differently to the masses, and I'm not going to apologise for making my point like everyone else; the only thing I want to apologise for is arguing about it with other users of the site.

Here's a non-exhaustive list of opinions that annoy me and how I see things.

1- Crosshair's betrayal: Is that so? That's probably the thing I find most pathetic and laughable at the same time. The big bad Crosshair who betrayed his good brothers for an evil Empire…

I don't even know where to start.

If there are traitors in this mess, it's the Batch and Hunter in particular. They're the ones who chose to run off and leave Crosshair behind, they're the ones who decided to ‘forget all about’ Crosshair, thank you Echo, another point that pisses me off, but we'll come back to it later.

Oh yes, ‘but Crosshair was shooting at them’! They're soldiers, it's not the first time they've been shot at, it's their life. I can understand the surprise of seeing their brother turn on them, but I can't understand why they decided to abandon him like a dog. Tech can pride himself on being supra intelligent, he couldn't even realise that Crosshair's actions weren't normal. Like, he's been a pain up until now, true, but he was not dangerous. The empire takes him aside and half an hour later, he's turned against us… No, nothing, it's completely normal, it's part of his severe and unyielding nature…

And if it stopped there…

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is done to find Crosshair and help him. In fact, they get to Ord Mantel and it's as if Crosshair never existed. They start their mediocre little lives as errand boys for the lizard and are content with that. They don't even talk about making a plan to save Crosshair, which is strange since they have 99 plans up their sleeves.

In fact, they loved Crosshair so much that just days after abandoning him to his fate without looking back, they gave his comlink to his replacement, and if that's not a sign that they had no intention of saving him, then what is? …

'Yeah, but they don't know where he is'… they didn't know where Tantiss was either, but that didn't stop them wasting 6 months looking for Omega. Whereas for Crosshair… NOTHING! Not even for a second!

'They didn't know about the chips', at least not at first, because once they found out and saw what it was like … well, NOTHING, again. Crosshair was a prisoner of his own mind, and no one cared.

Speaking of the chip, they forgave Wrecker for trying to kill them and their precious Omega, while Crosshair had to prove time and again that he was indeed on their side. 'Yeah, but Wrecker apologised!' … Seriously, you kick your brother out of the house because he didn't apologise for making a mistake? … I don't know what world you live in, but it's definitely not mine.

And speaking of that, Hunter and the Batch never apologized either for abandoning Crosshair and leaving him to fend for himself in enemy territory.

'They had to protect Omega" Oh, really? And how did they do that? By dragging her along on their pointless missions? By exposing her to human traffickers, slavers, murderers, bounty hunters… If they'd really wanted to protect Omega, they'd have left her with Cut and Sue. Not to mention the fact that they put themselves and the girl in danger to save complete strangers who meant absolutely nothing to them, while their own brother… guess what… oh yeah, NOTHING!

2- Tech death is Crosshair's fault. Oh? And how? He was imprisoned and tortured on Tantis while his 'nice' brothers were having a good time on Pabu.

Crosshair risked his life to send his brothers orders to hide and lay low, and what do they do? They go to a council of Empire bigwigs and get caught like rookies.

But of course it's Crosshair's fault.

On the other hand, it's strange that I haven't seen anyone pointing the finger at Guerrera. After all, he's the one who rigged the place with explosives, the one who refused to back down because the lives of a handful of clones were less important than his own personal vendetta.

It's true that Guerrera is a good hero, fighting against the evil empire no matter how many hundreds of innocents he kills in his war.

3- Echo is such a good brother and a mother hen. Are you sure we watched the same show? Because Echo doesn't seem like that to me. He's a bitter, tired man who only stays with the Batch because he has nowhere else to go and feels it's his duty, but as soon as he finds somewhere else and a duty he feels is more important, oof! He's gone without a second thought.

Echo, like Omega, is the odd man out in the Batch, but unlike Omega, he gives no indication that he's really trying to fit in. He's just there, and on several occasions he gives the impression of bitterly regretting it.

Of course, he comes back to lend a hand, no pun intended, when the Batch needs it, but I don't think it's as a sign of brotherhood or belonging, he does it because he feels it's his duty, nothing more. If he really felt part of the Batch, he probably wouldn't have told the others to forget about Crosshair without thinking it through. He who was a prisoner and used against his will to kill his own brothers didn't even have the decency to insist on saving one of his rescuers when Crosshair found himself in the same situation. He didn't give a damn. His interactions with Crosshair are close to absolute zero and as warm and welcoming as the Barton 4 climate!

It takes a lot more than that for me to consider him a 'good brother'…

4- Crosshair is a murderer. I have to admit that this one makes me laugh.

Crosshair is a soldier, a sniper, trained to kill on command. How many soldiers do you know who have never killed? You make me laugh with your reductive value judgements. The Batch was an elite commando unit designed for secret missions that no one else could carry out. Do you really think they never killed? Hell, the first thing we learn about them in the Clone Wars is that they killed a Yalbec queen for a 'minor uprising'… That alone proves they've got blood on their hands, all of them.

Crosshair does bad things, I'm well aware of that. Inexcusable, perhaps. But who do you think is the killer? The one who gives the order, or the weapon that carries it out? Because that's all Crosshair is to the Empire. A weapon.

He orders his men to shoot innocent people in Guererra's camp, that's right, and kills one of his men for refusing. At this point, he's still under the influence of the chip, a good little soldier, loyal to the death. And yes, he kills that separatist woman, but what do you think would have happened if he hadn't? He and Cody and every clone in their unit would have been executed for treason. Not to mention, if that woman hadn't been killed, there's a good chance the Empire would have wiped out the entire planet. Is sacrificing one life to save millions of others such a bad choice?

He kills Nolan in cold blood. So? Don't tell me you don't die for it too.

He kills his unit on Kamino. If he hadn't, what do you think would have happened? Crosshair didn't want to kill his brothers, he wanted them to join him, and that wouldn't have been possible if the Imperials had stayed alive. Granted, it wasn't the best method, but it was his way of showing that he didn't give a damn about those men and only wanted his brothers.

For all the good it did him.

5- The Kamino Fiasco. While we're on the subject…

Again, I have so much to say about this that one post wouldn't be enough.

Yet another moment that many have summarised as 'Crosshair's Betrayal'. Once again, it makes me laugh out loud. For an entire season, the Batch ignored Crosshair, except when he was right under their noses. Kamino is the height of their stupidity. Not only did they never do anything to help Crosshair out of the mess they left him in, but now they're rushing to save poor little Hunter from the great danger of his traitorous brother… What do you think went through Crosshair's mind at that moment? When he realised that he wasn't even worth saving, but the whole gang was rushing to Hunter's rescue? That complete strangers who meant absolutely nothing to the Batch were more worth saving than he was?

I, too, would have taken it badly, and I, too, would have let my anger show.

Especially as the Batch's behaviour was far from stellar. They spend literally two whole episodes blaming Crosshair for everything, insulting him, showing him how much they despise him, how happy they are without him with his replacement, how useless he is to them.

"If you had come back to us, we would have taken you back" … yes, and how? when he was being watched day and night by Rampart and his gang. When the chip was still there to distort his thinking. How? When the first thing you do when you see him is point your guns at him?

The Batch treated Crosshair worse than a dog. That moment when he and Omega were freed from the flooded room and I-don't-know-who rushed in to hug Omega as Hunter stopped Crosshair's slide with a kick is still stuck in my throat. Is that how good brothers are? … Well, with a family like that, there's no need for enemies!

And when he saves the little princess from drowning and is thanked by having three blasters aimed at his back, that's family?

The Batch treated Crosshair so well, they were so understanding, so welcoming, so forgiving, that Crosshair had no choice but to stay with the Empire. Not because he wanted to - his reaction to the Marauder's departure proves he's disappointed in his so-called family - but because it's the only place he has left. I remain convinced that if those fools had done otherwise, Crosshair would have gone with them. But alas…

I too would have chosen the Empire in those circumstances.

By the way, I don't know if you noticed, but the ONLY time Hunter and the Batch take Crosshair at his word is when he claims he doesn't have his chip. It's the ONLY time nobody asks any questions or Hunter believes what Crosshair says and takes it at face value. No one is even suggesting that the Empire can lie, not even the ultra-intelligent Tech. No, they just take his word for it, and that's the end of it. They don't even try to see if it's true...

6- Hunter. I didn't like Hunter in The Clone Wars, he was too much of a caricature, but in The Bad Batch I really hated him.

Don't be fooled, Hunter and the Batch are not nice little heroes because they ran away from the big bad Empire. Their decision was stupid and nothing could support it. Tarkin sent them to destroy a rebel camp and instead they came across refugees. SO? Does that prove the Empire is evil? No, it just proves that Tarkin had access to bad information, and I'm sure that happened a lot during the war. Especially if you're a secret squad and you're probably doing illegal things in the name of the Republic, like the rebellion on Yalbec!

Crosshair's reaction, even though influenced by the chip, is the most normal in my opinion. At the stage where Hunter and his gang are running away like cowards, there's still no incontrovertible proof that the Empire is evil, and no proof that the Jedi are innocent. From the clones' point of view, of course. To conclude that the Empire is evil after a single mission that could have just been bad intelligence is unjustified. Sure, we know what it is, but the clones and the galaxy do NOT. At least not yet. It would have seemed a lot less artificial, a lot less "scenarium", if the Batch had stayed around for a while, maybe all the way to Kamino, until they realised the truth and then thought, "OK, that's it, we're out of here". But for them to decide on their own that the Empire is evil after only three days… No, that's just stupid.

Hunter acting like a complete idiot at the beginning of the third season sums up what's been going on all along. You can make excuses for his behaviour, he has none for me. He betrayed his brother, never did anything to save him, as the Kamino episodes prove. As long as Hunter is there, no one moves, but as soon as Hunter is gone, a rescue team is launched, not for Crosshair, but for the Great Leader himself. If that isn't proof that it was Hunter who prevented any rescue attempts…

Not only has he behaved like an idiot throughout the series, but he's got the nerve to ask for explanations… Crosshairs owes him nothing, and certainly no explanations. He did nothing, nothing, he just went with the flow, because with the Republic gone and no one to give him orders, poor little Hunter was so lost he didn't even know how to be a soldier anymore.

Hunter is a hypocrite, he claims he didn't want to put his team in danger from Crosshair, but he doesn't mind putting them in danger from everything else. If I had a sharp tongue, I'd say that Hunter was glad to get rid of Crosshair because he was the only one who dared to open his mouth and tell Hunter what he thought. The rest are just well-trained dogs.

He leaves Crosshair to his fate, just as he leaves the Regs to theirs. Basically, he's a free man and doesn't give a damn about the rest.

It's also funny to note that once Omega is with them, the Batch becomes almost useless. Gone is the 100% success rate, they no longer know how to fight, how to strategise, how to be soldiers.

And his favouritism towards Omega is just sickening. She's the little darling, she comes before everyone and everything, to the point where on several occasions she's the one giving the orders and Hunter follows them without batting an eyelid. Hunter does for Omega what he refused to do for Crosshair and many others. After Tech, the main instigator of a reaction in Crosshair's favour, is dead, Hunter spends SIX LONG MONTHS looking everywhere for his beloved Omega, but for Crosshair nothing, not even a minute of his precious time. He didn't look for him when he fled the Empire, and he doesn't look for him after Eriadu. All he cares about is Omega, the rest of the universe can die for all he cares.

Maybe that's normal for you, but not for me.

I don't expect you to share my opinion, far from it, and you can call me crazy or stupid, it doesn't matter. I'm not saying it is THE truth, but it is MY truth. Since everyone is so open with their opinions, I've decided to be too. I'm biased, I know that and I don't care. You may not like it, you may hate me for the way I see things, it's your opinion.

If you feel like arguing, know that you won't change my mind, just as my post probably hasn't changed yours.

[juliedrawz]

🌼 Big Info/Update on my "Coco" Book 🌼

So it's almost been a year ...

Wow! What a journey so far! I wanted to take my time to talk to you "every dear one of you who loves my art and follows me" for a bit. Now, this will be a long post so keep that in mind!

I cannot remember a year in which I went through so many changes. I grew a lot mentally and I learned a lot. When I first watched Coco, I didn't know at all what kind of impact it will have on me. I know it did for a whole lot many more than just me. It's not just a movie, it's something that moved my heart in depths I cannot explain. Look, the only movie franchise who ever was able to impact me that deeply was Lord of the Rings/Hobbit, but then Coco came along and well ... Héctor! ... and Ernesto.

But talking about Héctor in every little detail possible is planned for another post. There is so much! And Ernesto even more. Ernesto is actually (has actually) been my biggest surprise this year 🤯 And let me tell you why for a little because this is a important part of this whole post!

Villains. We all know what a villain is. When I first saw Ernesto, I was instantly drawn to his charmful personality. I love mexico! I love mexicans, (they happen to be one of the funniest, kindest and most temperamental ones I ever came across and they understand how to celebrate life and death!) At first, we only see what Ernesto can do without knowing anything just yet. I was blown! Let me get this down, he's a musícan with a inrcedible voice (I have an opera education background so I connect to his trained voice), he's a actor, a showman, he's a phenomenal horseback rider and he's handsome! I don't need to tell you about the punch in the guts you end up having later!

Oh, yes! Something I would say! Seriously! I do act like that whenever I am burning for something! *cough* snowflakes quite recently! It was late and my boss only had 1 client left and it started snowing big flakes and I went full child excited mood "think Ernesto and fireworks" until they hit me with their "Augh, snow! Cold, wet, annoying!" And then I literally turned into this cinematic drama queen telling them about nostalgia and the spirit of christmas! *laugh* Their faces 😆 Bah humbug! Truly!

Can you imagine Ernesto in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge? I can! 😆 Héctor, Ceci and Imelda as the 3 spirits of christmas. Yes sir! I want that for christmas! *cough* aaand I'm rambling! I was talking about my book ... yes ... back to that!

Anyway! Moving on! I've told you before that as an INFP personality it's in my nature anyway to think and feel myself deeper into things (whatever they are) and I need about 2 or 3 rows to analyze and solidifying my opinion. That's what happened with Ernesto. Yes, at first I was "heck this guy!" Mildly said, I did not like Ernesto. One. Bit. I was mad and I, for the first few moments, labled him as a villain too! But then I rewatched and rewatched and rewatched Coco and I analyzed Ernesto. And after I went "wait a dang minute!" I realized, no, this man is certainly not your typical "Bad guy!" And after my Dad "an ex-soldier and chef prison guard" confirmed my analysis, I started researching and studying on human behavior, trauma (PTSD) and especially psyche! Now, I wanted to do this anyway because of Héctor and Imelda but it played into my hands with Ernesto. But it also flipped my whole opinion of him. It is a canon fact, that Héctor and Ernesto grew up together and were like brothers to each other and I had the statement, that Ernesto isn't proud of what he's done. Oh boy did that flip tables for me! Because guess what! A true villian is evil, period. You don't go thinking about any redemption because they are that far gone! And a truly rotten, evil soul does not regret their actions or deeds, they are perfectly fine and content with them. I would love to share my whole Sherlock Holmes 🔎 action I did on Ernesto with you but I can't because that would def. spoil everything that is to come!

Ok, this whole Ernesto case has changed and impacted my book! And not only that. The longer I wrote, I got back my grammar and writing skills (after not truly writing for years!) I improved and only after months and then going back to the first half of my book, I realized that many things weren't the way I wanted them anymore. The plot was now solid (wasn't at first) some age/timeline aspects changed! I tweaked some things! Grammar too. And that means I will need to go over my whole first bunch of chapters eventually!

Now I really know where my book is heading! From beginning to end! I now have the silver lining! That also means, the Title of my book has changed! But I will change it in time, not just yet!

The thing with Ceci 👓

Honestly, when I first included Ceci in my book, I, just like with many things, as I mentioned, had no idea what to do with her! I knew I wanted her in, because of that one scene! She instantly had me with her sassy attitude. And since it was pretty clear that she and Héctor knew each other and that she's been helping him not only once, I knew that there had to be a connection. And so I went with it. But that was still raw and not well thought through. That came fairly quickly though! And by now, Ceci is, next to Imelda one of the main characters! She plays a big role and she will be very important for the future!

My Book - Not just any other Fanfic

I know that everyone has their own opinion, view of things and headcanons. This is mine! But while it is my headcanon, I had the goal from the moment I sat down and decided "I'm going to do this!" To make my book feel as canon as possible. I knew I didn't just want to create yet another "great" fanfiction, I wanted to create something that is way more than just that. Something that could give huge Coco fans like me something back. Something that has an impact, something that shares what I have in my heart at least a little! I wanted to do something that hasn't been done before! And for once, I dedicated myself to it, no matter how long it will take, I will finish it! Oof, didn't that sound like something Héctor would say?

This thing has become my baby! 😂

I wanted to stay "true" to each character, stay in line and make readers go "yep, that's how it all happened" I wanted the characters to stay real and authentic. I didn't want to change them or make them do things that would fall out of their character. I knew I wanted my book to circle around Héctor mainly but the longer I worked on it, the more I understood that Ernesto, Ceci and Imelda are just as much of a part of Héctor! And developing their story, they became a huge part.

I wanted and still want to bring emotions across as if you'd feel them! I also knew and now I know even more, that my book is "in no way" for children! It is in everyway for us adults, for teens at least! Because I go deeper and touch on topics that are scary, painful, harsh and dark. You'll see that even more in chapters to come!

Conclusion ❗️

Since it's a real book I am working on, I realized that it is pretty normal that some chapters take weeks, sometimes even months to write. I understood that it's ok to take my time! And if it ends up taking me 2 or 3 years to finish it. I stopped feeling guilty when I cannot post new content fast enough because it just takes a lot of time and effort. And besides my passions, life happens and continues. Work happens to be exhausting sometimes, not all weekends end up being a free-time for me. And there are family gatherings, normal things to do, as plain as grocery shopping. And recently, christmas. But I appreciate every time I get to work on my book and my art!

-

So, yes, I had to get to this conclution on my own. While it is clear for others. And that has everything to do with my personality. I love pleasing people and making people happy. And by all means, I love love love what I do! If I could I would double my arms and work on more tings faster! Sometimes I wish I could stay home and work on my hobbies only but that isn't going to happen for me.

So at that point. I want to say "Thank you!" AGAIN! For all you guys who have been sticking around so far! For all the kind words! I hope you'll stick around for the next year/years to come and keep Coco alive!

🌼 Coco is timeless 🌼

It is so much more than just bringing across a deep important message! It has earned itself a very special place in my heart! It has caused me to pick up writing again, and it made me pick up my guitar and finally learn it! I will finish telling Héctor's story! And Ernesto's along with it! And I am no longer scared if some might end up hating it or calling me crazy for it! Because, like Héctor said, then I am, un poco loco! And I want to be nothing else!

[acti-veg]

Vegan to vegan advice? I've rescued cats and dogs most of my life, and have a couple of best friends currently. I don't make a lot of money, enough to get by and care for myself and them but not enough to afford vegan ''pet'' food, which I've done enough research on to know it's pretty safe for dogs and, with the right nutrients and vet visits, safe for cats. (I think if I'm wrong then let me know) But I can't afford it, which sucks because animals don't deserve to die to feed them, they're lives are more important. And part of me knows it may be irresponsible to rescue any other non-human animals in crisis because that means killing non-human animals for them too, but I can't ignore anyone in need. It just sucks trying to sleep at night constantly remembering how many lives are taken for theirs, what do you think? Any advice or ideas, maybe even some homemade vegan ''pet'' foods that are cheap but have the right nutrients?

I can definitely empathise with this, it’s one of the reasons I don’t have pets myself. I’m afraid I don’t have enough knowledge on animal nutrition to be comfortable offering any recipes, i can’t even speak for the efficacy of the ones I can find online either, so I’ll approach this solely from an ethical perspective.

In rescuing an animal, you commit to adequately provide for their needs, including health, nutrition, stimulation, socialisation etc. You should only rescue if you know you have the time and resources to do that. It sounds like you do have those resources, just not so much that you can afford specialty foods - though that would be something you’d need to factor in if a vet ever prescribed it.

For you, what you have to reckon with is your own comfort levels - rescuing involves providing meat to those animals who need it. It’s fine if you’re not comfortable with that, but in that case you should look towards rescuing herbivorous animals. I do disagree on the idea that we know plant-based foods are safe for dogs and cats, but since that isn’t a viable option for you anyway there is no point in me going into that.

It is worth pointing out that whether you feed these animals or not, they are going to require food derived from other animals - the only question is again how comfortable you are being the one to feed it to them. The alternative is that they stay in the rescue centre, or someone else adopts them and also feeds them food containing meat, or that they don’t get rescued and end up euthanised, which I’d argue is not preferable.

By buying food containing meat, all you’re doing is providing for them what they need with what resources you have, that certainly doesn’t make you any less vegan, even if it does make you feel guilty. You are doing a good thing by rescuing so long as you actually can can afford to keep doing so and don’t over commit, you just need to decide if the guilt you feel over feeding them is enough of a problem to make you want to stop doing it.

[beepborpdoodledorp]

i'm sorry i'm going through another phase again i just need to get this out of my system or i'm gonna explode. i can't remember if i posted it on both here and instagram or just instagram but either way i've told this story before but i'm telling it before out of…necessity i guess?? accountability?? some sort of imposter syndrome i've developed from it?? back when i was 12 or so i got into this ship that was relatively popular in the fanbase but was controversial due to the age discrepancy between the characters - some wikis and firsthand sources said one of the characters was underage, others said they were of age (14 to be 16 by the sequel and 16 to be 18 by the sequel respectively). i've always been vehemently antiship or whatever the hell it's called and believed that within the context of the story it wouldn't make sense for the character to be as young as some sources say they were, a belief which only got further enforced when i was i think either 13 or 14 and got really involved with the current fandom at the time here on this website, with creators and supports of the ship that I admired putting together entire essays and shit digging through decade-old interviews to show that the character was of age. and i believed it! i was in this fandom and ship for like 3-4 years and during that time i drew fanart after fanart, wrote fanfic after fanfic, i fucking wrote smut, because i trusted the creators i looked up to and thought the detractors just didn't do enough research. surprise! i had my head completely up my own ass and was so balls deep in denial i don't even know what i was thinking. i had already started to stray from the fandom in mid-2022 or so and after i got a comment on a fanfic i had written like a year earlier showing me a more recent interview that confirmed the character to be underage everything just came crashing down. i deleted every fanfic i had published, basically went radio silent on my main blog before deleting or archiving all of that too. i haven't touched the fandom for that game ever since and that brings us to today, where i'm once again writing about it because i…almost feel like i haven't had enough accountability taken for it?? i don't feel like a deserve all these followers, i don't feel like i deserve this platform, because i don't feel like a lot of these people would follow me if they knew what i had done. if i was in their shoes, would i follow someone who half-wittingly made (occasionally nsfw) content of a proship when they were young? i probably wouldn't, no matter how much they regret it, and i certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with them being in the fandom again. that's why i wish so desperately i could delete my main blog because that's where everything happened and i wish i could just put it behind me. but that's the thing, am i sweeping all of this under the rug by almost never mentioning this and deleting all the content, or am i taking accountability by deleting everything i made so it can't be accessed by younger people like i was at the time? i don't know. some days i give myself leniency by saying i was a young teenager, a minor myself who was misled by adults i looked up to and took accountability when i was proven wrong, other days i feel like a hypocritical monster who had his head too up his own ass to acknowledge his mistakes until i had gone off the deep end. i don't feel like i deserve this blog, or this platform, or the creative spaces i've been given, not with everything muddling my past, no matter how young or easily impressionable i was, not with the knowledge i could've easily influenced other young and easily impressionable creators like me who looked up to me and just made a horrible cycle. i don't know. i'm sorry for all this word vomit, and i'm sorry for being an idiot

[torilaa]

Wednesday Writing Blog #1

So, I have a problem. A big problem for a writer at least. I have never finished a first draft. Hell any writing project really except for one or two short stories that I had to finish for college. Pressure seems to be the only way I spit things out. This is why I'm going to start making a blog post every week or so in order to remind myself that I need to write... Also because I love talking about writing. I think it would be great to spend every Wednesday or so venting or nerding out about it.

I could just be procrastinating again though.

Yup.

Anyway, today I figured out how my first book is going to end. They say the best thing to have before you start to write is an ending. I've been a pantser since I started writing, but I've discovered that really doesn't help with my motivation. If I don't know what happens next, I'm stumped for weeks. As for how I outline, I just use bullet points with acts 1-3. Any more structure than that and I feel constricted creatively. Any worldbuilding I have is thrown into the "Worldbuilding" folder. Let's hope I remember to update that as I write! Since worldbuilding is, yes, important but the story comes first.

I've made a basic outline so I'm rather confident about it for once. In fact, I wrote around 7k words so far (I scrapped basically all of what I wrote in 2017 with this concept which is...hard, but it had to be done since the MC is a very different character now).

Finally, I started reading Leviathan Wakes (the Expanse) partially for research purposes and partially because I loved the show.

Since I can't help but share, here is the alpha version of the first page:

Martin called it The Coffin.

The walls of the room were made of mirrors and a door that only Interrogator Martin Prouset could enter. The Order of Representatives made sure the room had nothing to distract the suspect except for the endless reflection of themselves, the table, the chairs, and the interrogator. These reflections made the room feel larger than it appeared to be in reality. Because it was small. Cramped. Three meters by three meters approximately and high enough so that the tallest man could stand with about an inch of clearance. The Coffin was a joke the Representatives played on both the suspect and the interrogator. Martin would rather be in a larger room, no, another place, a different time but instead, through fault of his own, he came into this room everyday to greet the mirrors, the table, the chairs. The only difference, ever, was the suspect that sat in that infernal chair.

Enough to make a man mad.

This new suspect? Dr. Theo Johansson, engineer with a memory quotient of 190 (that he would certainly brag about). Martin sat in the chair nearest the door and Theo Johansson’s reflection sat across from the table. Johansson’s wrinkled face was pale except the sockets beneath his eyes. Those deep eyes asked, “why?” The ones that forgot always asked why. Even doctors with an MQ of 190. The only people that looked at him were the ones that remembered what they did. Always it was with an expression of determined steel. Thankfully that wasn’t Johansson. The steel gaze always, always, made his blood run cold.

[deepestuniversallove]

Hi I've been looking at your Mewtwo stuff for awhile now and I can't help but notice how nuanced and mature your takes are, especially on Giovanni who can be likened to a narcissistic abuser. Compared to most, ahem "artists" on here, who simply treat Mewtwo as a meme or housepet. You really seem to respect him, and I can't wait to see the comic on how you met him. I also admire how unapologetic you are to self ship with him.

Thank you so much for sending this to me! This seriously made my day!

I treat Mewtwo differently than most because I have a certain reverence for him. He was truly my guiding light at times where I didn't even want to exist any more. He inspires me to keep going and honestly I wouldn't even be having a job in biological research now if it wasn't for him. Considering how much impact he has had on my life so far, I could never just treat him as some sort of stupid meme or a housepet. Frankly, treating him as such is insulting. He is too intelligent to be a housepet, and he knows how to take care of not only himself, but also those close to him (I mean, look at him, and how he is depicted in official media as a HEALER. Always taking care of wounded and abandoned Pokémon,whether it's his clones, or wild Pokemon). I don't like the stereotypes surrounding him in the Fandom.

I don't think that many people are able to recognize Giovanni as a narcissist because they lack the experience of being raised by one, like me and my brother have been (we have real, lived experience of that, which is hard to understand for anyone who had supportive and normal parents). Or these people still have the naive belief that everyone deep down has a good core. They are oblivious to the fact that we have psychopaths among us who truly only care about themselves and who cannot be redeemed. A mafia boss who created a living weapon like Mewtwo to serve in his plan of world domination certainly counts as a fictional depiction of such psychopaths. Team Rocket has plundered Pokémon and tortured them and sold them for financial gain. But Fandom still gives Giovanni a pass somehow just because he is "sexy".

I was raised by a narcissist mother. I never felt truly seen by her, and she told me she made me to be her slave. So how else was I able to interpret Giovanni but as a narcissist, when he said the same to Mewtwo in the movie? "You were made to serve me." No wonder I took Mewtwo as my role model. I remember wishing I had actual psychic powers too, it would have made escaping so much easier. Instead I thought of him when I needed strength.

Oh man, when it comes to Mewtwo and shipping... I don't have any hesitation here. I have always loved Mewtwo, so why should I pretend that I don't? He was always important to me in real life as well, after all. Or why should I make up some Pokémon OC and use that as a proxy to ship with Mewtwo? Lakota/mewtwoandme actually admitted to me in a DM that this is what Gwen the Gardevoir is, BTW. She was too afraid to ship herself with Mewtwo because she worried that people will judge her for it and that it is seen as "icky" to selfship as herself. I am kind of disappointed of that, but it is her comic and story to tell. I am not really a fan of the Gardevoir x Mewtwo, or Mew x Mewtwo or Lucario x Mewtwo ships in general, they are too cliché for my liking and I don't see how movie1!Mewtwo would ever fall in love with them. However, I ADORE honest selfshippers of Mewtwo or Newtwo! I always get curious about their stories and how they fell in love with them!

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy my comic! Even though I gotta apologize that it is taking so long to finish - I am still swamped with work IRL, but will officially be free starting from the 16th, so hopefully I will get way more done then. Though I am wondering if to post on my blog here or make an entirely new blog? Or at least a special tag so people can just look at the comic and don't have to see my other selfships if they are only here for the Mewtwo content.

Thanks for sending this ask! :D Have a nice day!

[plainxte]

🛒💌🧐🦅🤗 for the fic ask game?

Hi hi! Thanks so much for the ask! 😘

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I don't know that I repeat things knowingly - there's a lot of repetition always anyway. 😅 I love writing first times, falling in love (or realising you're in love) - and I suppose there's often fantasy elements in my writing, and dreams... And I love stories-within-a-story, so those as well. Oops, that's quite a lot! 😁

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I love it! Yes please! 😊

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Well... Some! I wouldn't say I do a lot of research necessarily (there's always dates to check though) but some of it, certainly - but in many of my stories, the framework is something I've been looking into, for one reason or another, already. So I've already done the research and kind of wanted to use it for a fic, too 🤔

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Oh, all the outlines. Diagrams. Mind maps. Everything. 😌

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Hmm 🤔 write what you want to write (not what someone else thinks you should); write the fics you'd want to read yourself; and write what you love. Write for yourself.

And figure out how writing is easiest for you - regardless of what anyone else says, about how you should use this programme or that, write a certain amount of words a day or never plan, or how you should always do this or that: none of it matters if it doesn't work for you. Find the ways that do.

And remember: it's supposed to be a good thing in your life. If you're not enjoying it, you might want to do something differently. Maybe?

Thanks again! ❤️