#i know for a fact sammy is a minor. so i told her im not gonna make crude or flirty jokes with her and she doesnt like that

[heyitslapis]

Ok let's see... its been about 3 weeks since i posted last, give or take a few days. And I'll just say its been an interesting and exhausting few weeks.

Still trying to completely get over my dumbf*ck feelings for Alex. I'm not really doing a super great job at that, and still get random depressive moments that last a varying amount of time, but usually i just push my pity party to the side after about 2 minutes.

On the 3rd of June, Alex went up to see part of her family and join them on a cruise to Columbia. She said wont be back until maybe the 3rd or 4th of July at the earliest. I kinda miss her, but I feel like spending a month physically apart from her will do me some good. Her and i still snap back and fourth to save our streak and to day good morning. Whenever she cant find wifi, she turns on her dad's personal hotspot so she can send me at least one snap to keep our streak rolling (we are the longest streak we have with anyone on our snapchats, and it stands currently at 261 days.) The day after she left the streak sorta died for the day, but she was able to save it cause she was in a different time zone.

Since she's been gone, we've hired several new people at work, many if which being new hosts (thank God tbh, cause this means after theyre all done training and get a couple weeks to get used to everything i can train as a server and hopefully make a little more money). One of them is Giovanni's sister (Gio is a guy that works there. Mostly does dish, sometimes hosts.) And apparently she likes me? About a week before she started they came in to eat with their mom and after they left Gio was like "Dude, i think my sister likes you."

Hey, some random girl actually has a crush on me for the first time in my life? That's cool! Right? It would be, if she weren't 17. If i were still 18 or 19, i wouldnt really care. But now that im 20, even though we only have a 2 year and almost 6 month age difference, i still feel like its weird. I feel like im in a whole new age threshold now that ive hit that 2 decade mark, and she just seems to me like a kid. Anyway, Sammy (thats her) is bi with a preference for girls. She's very forward about asking the girls at work about their sexuality (she'll be mid convo and just be like "wait; you straight?") She makes a hobby of flirting with the straight girls, because as she says it, she can easily flirt with straight girls bc she knows she wont have a chance. As soon as she knows theyre bi or gay, she cant even really talk to them. Sammy flirts with me in excess, has asked me 3 times if im straight, or if im sure that i am (homegirl has only been here like two weeks), and the reason why is because she would happily let me break her heart, and has said thats its too bad im not gay bc if i was she would let me crush her. Also has told me that i remind her of her ex girlfriend, and when i said idk if thats supposed to be a compliment or not, she said "well i really liked her, so..." Oh and btw all 3 times shes asked, I've told her im straight (yknow, bc im not out to the irl general public) and I'll just say that having to lie outloud about my sexuality does not feel that great. Thats not something ive ever had to verbally do before, and now i understand. Tbh i dont really lie, or at least i very rarely do, bc i dont like it, and i want to be seen as trustworthy. i have told my share of lies in my day, but i feel like that was in the top 3 worst lies ive ever told. Simply because i know thats not who i am, yet im saying it anyway.

Besides that, in these last couple weeks ive:

Gotten my computer hacked and almost got scamed out of the piddly $120 dollars total that is in my bank account for me to try to live off of until next Fridays paycheck, and almost got my brother's bank account hacked (looong f*ckin story. Short version, im a gotdang fool, and people are absolute bastards), so now i cant use my computer until i get it looked at, which means no art (sucks bc i wanted to draw myself a bi pride icon)

Put in 103 hours at work in the last 2 weeks

Had our only available car break down twice

Got about half of our kitchen painted. Still need to find time to finish it

Purchased tickets for a convention, and bought almost everything i need to finish my cosplay.

Have a sore in the back of my mouth thats been plaguing me for over a week (finally starting to heal. Its been hurting to do so much as talk, much less eat or drink)

Had to deal with everyone's attitudes at work (some sh*ts going on with the moon and everyones been a pissy ass lately, and im so over it)

The pain in the ass girl at work that we've been trying to get rid of for over a year called in and quit 15 minutes before her literal last shift (Father's day) and our proprietary manager told her "its bullshit that you just found out that your other job scheduled you to work today 15 minutes before you had to come here" and "dont try to come back to this store again". Im ecstatic about it tbqh and feel a small sense of victory about the whole thing.

One of my favorite gays from work had his last shift Saturday night and im still sad about it.

It may not seem like much but its just all around every other day something else small happened to add to the weird and crazy smorgasbord that is my life.

Also bless Sammy bc yesterday was Father's Day, and because of that, i was in the building of my work at 9:45am, started working to get set up at 10, opened around 10:50, and didnt stop until about 8:50pm, 10 minutes before we closed. Our proprietary manager bought us tons of pizza and snacks in the middle of our shift so that we could all take turns having a 10 minute breather, but other than that it was non-stop work and dedication to the customer. At 9:50am my brother went to the Duncan Donuts down the road from us to get the handful of morning people either coffee or bagels or whatever they asked for. I told my brother to get me the english muffin with egg and cheese, and if they had the option, to add sausage to it. Also to tell Sammy i said hi (because she works at that Duncan also, and was there yesterday morning). My brother comes back with breakfast, hands me my food and said that Sammy made it especially for me. (At that time i was also in a bad mood bc i was tired from working four open doubles in a row, and was stressed, so that really lifted my spirits a bit. The food, and the thought that someone made it especially for me.) And i'll just say she just earned my love for the next week at least.

Anyway i think thats all for now loves. I dont have a very eventful life, but i sure do have a busy one.

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 1 - “My Legs Were Not Qwoperating” - Kathy (Part 2)

no. jk here.

So, it’s morning. I look around at our camp, and see everyone is at work. Karen is painting their flag and using safety scissors to cut out Monty’s head, Kevin is chanting to himself in the corner, Stoner’s been asleep so we buried him in the sand up to his neck and then sculpted a sand castle around him. Tommy is just trying to make eye contact with anyone he can and so I’m...avoiding that. I’d say we are solid but that’s probably not the truth, and so that kind of stinks. I’m hoping the newbies really fuck up, and I know that’s harsh but...that’s showbiz, babe!! Speaking of newbies I still haven’t talked to a few of them.  Emma like zoomed away the first day and I’ve given up on talking to her. Hope she goes first. That’s all I got for now, going to eat breakfast I will continue this rant later.

my truth is that i haven’t played an org game in so long i forgot i was playing and then remembered an hour ago and tried to do this wack qwop game hsksksj! my legs were not qwoperating 

I see there's an arena going on! I might go there first if the rest of the team is okay with it - gives me a chance to scope things out and get a feel for the area. I'm excited!

WE WON THE FUCKING CHALLEEEENGE AAAAA NOT ONLY DID WE WIN BUT WE KILLT IT WE SCORED 12 AND EVERYONE ELSE GOT LIKE 8 AND 5 OHMYGOOOD IM NOT GONNA BE FIRST OUT YALL IM SHAKING I CANT BELIEVE GSJDKDVDSNDBWSKHSD okAy okay so thank god bc my tribe has like no drama so our vote would’ve been really difficult and that gives me more time to think about my possible advantage and the possible bonds here. 

so while I am safe I still have to game a little bit and talk to the people I’ve been talking with who are going to tribal like Sammy and Jordan, funny enough who are on the same tribe.... maybe I can get them to protect each other..... hm

Well we lost because of technicalities, I choose to blame that. This tribe is apparently extremely quiet to each other, so the fact that I messaged everyone hello this morning, nearly 48 hours after the start, I am SOMEHOW one of the best social players here. Challenges are generally my strength, we got last in QWOP, so backup is social game in a social ORG. I can be in some danger here, but I think I have a TRusuT sclusTER to keep myself here. As is necessary. I don't care who goes, I have a preference, but I don't really want to set a goal right now. Flexibility is key.

I'm literally PISSED. I'm fuming right now, like wtf? OK so I haven't confessed anything yet because my tribe has been SO quiet. I've honestly talked a lot more to some of the people from ONE WORLD than I have from some of the people from my own tribe... and I'm not crazy okay? It's NOT my fault. I put in effort with these people... But some of these people are just DRY! Drier than the Sahara Desert! Drier than my chappy ass lips! They can't hold a conversation, and that's obnoxious. I'm not going to respond to you if your message has literally nothing in it worth responding to, that's why most of my messages will either have a follow-up question, or something actually of substance to comment on/reply to... YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME SO WE CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK AND MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT DIALOGUE!!!!!!! But NOOOOOOO, my tribe decides to not speak... MOVING ON! The only people I've had good conversations with really are Juls and Em, and lo and behold, Em does lit rally nothing in this challenge, which sucks because I'm afraid that may put a target on her back. But I'm not sure, I definitely will vote with her and I think Juls will too. I'll move onto that later but I wanna talk about why I'm fucking LIVID RIGHT NOW. I literally made SO many suggestions on how we could tweak who does what in this challenge, or what we do on certain parts. Now I'm going to admit a TINY bit of fault here, in that I didn't say my suggestions on the tribe flag. There are some things I think we could've done to make it better, but I love Juls, and everyone had already told her it was great, so I didn't wanna make her feel that I didn't like it or was over criticizing. So I didn't say anything. That was my bad. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE, LUV? I said We should guess lower than 610... Now granted my even 600 guess still would've been too low to win, BUT AT LEAST IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN OVERBOARD! HMPPHH!!!!! Or maybe we could've compromised on 605 if people hadnt IGNORED ME!!!! IDK!??!?!?! Further than that, I asked for different tweaking on the chant and nobody gave any suggestions. I'm not saying we would've won or anything had I taken the lead or that I was doing everything the right way,  obviously I wasn't since my chant got 3rd, but what I'm saying is once it became obvious the challenge was going to be about group participation and suggestion, our tribe needed to unify. Everyone in the tribe needed to have a clearer vision and talk to eachother and actually put in the EFFORT that this stuff requires. Which I'm admitting my own error, in not doing that with the flag. But our tribe was just so quiet and silent before now, which sent me down a paranoid spiral, that I was super fucking worried about my place in the tribe or where things were heading. Now I realize I'm in a good position on the tribe for sure, it's just that our tribe is STRUGGLING. ON THE (Mr.) BRIGHTSIDE!!! We lost by a tiebreaker guess, and only by 4 points.... and I'm pretty close with Juls, and it seems like a target will probably fall pretty easily onto Billy. He had the worst QWOP score, described himself as arrogant in his own intro, and just seems.. critical of others. He gives off a strange vibe. If it's not him, I'm pretty sure it'd end up being Jacob or Em. I feel that me and Juls are safe which is all that I can hope for on a tribe this freaking tiny, I instantly connected with Juls over our love of anime, the fact her name is the same as Euphoria Jules, and other stuff. As far as One World goes, I honestly keep forgetting it exists. I haven't reached out to too many of the others but have talked back to those who talk to me and it's been generally decent. I get along well with other Jacob, the not pie one. Caeleb I already know from before this and so I feel like we'd def work together, and I get good vibes from a lot of these people like Eve, Nicole, Ben, etc. Honestly I'm just so frustrated right now because things have been quiet and nervous and I'm PARANOID, and my tribe was so close to winning but fucked it up over minor things we could've tweaked had we just tried a little harder and communicated a little more. ugh, this SUCKS. now my first legacy in Tumblr Survivor is a mediocre chant (i honestly really like it and i put a LOT OF THOUGHT INTO IT OKAY....) and a trip to tribal council *Sobs* Here's hoping things take a positive turn from here...? It could always be the Bronze before my Gold! ~Hamfisted olympics metaphor~

Love my tribe a lot! However, i still feel on the outside somewhat tho.... Idk this is a lot for me I just hope we win until a swap or whatever its called ahh

Alright, Darcy back here with yet another confessional!   Here is a little update since I last posted confessional, mainly the biggest difference is now I have an ally formed with Ben.   At least, I made a deal with Ben yesterday proposing just the generic looking after one another ordeal, then going to give it some time and maybe question Beck about forming an alliance, since I've been connecting with her even more past bit, but don't want to go too fast and end up asking half my tribe right away to work with me, as I don't want to be seen as playing hard out the gate and make myself a target.   Meanwhile, I decided to give the Olympic Village searching a shot, but alas was no luck in the cafeteria cabinets, so will just have to try my luck again in the future rounds.   Thinking of searching either the South or North end of Village next round, but we shall see.   Anyways, I'm glad my tribe won Immunity, so don't have to go to tribal this round, and this Olympic Arena twist sounds great, essentially one person from each tribe goes to the Arena, I believe for the immune tribes just 1 person is selected to go to the Arena, and for the losing tribes, the two voted out go to arena, where the winner of the voted out people come back in the game, and loser is out of the game for good.   Think I read that all right, but maybe won't hurt to give it another read to double check.   For now though, I shall go, so will see you all with my next confessional.

Fuck having to go to tribal first. I don’t like having to send someone home when I don’t even really know who I’m playing with yet. 

Seems like Billy pulling the "I don't want to make any moves" to me was surprisingly bullshit. Who would've thunk. I think everyone is fine with voting out Billy here, I didn't really want to initially, but yeah, uh no. I could be in danger, but if everyone is honest here, I should be fine. Fingers crossed. "I'm either going to be first boot or win" - Pia Miranda

So, the first tribal is in a bit and we were almost sent there but managed to pull through in the tiebreaker! I hope that opens some of my tribemates eyes (lets be real, just Stoner who hasn’t been doing much of anything!) Being in One World but none of the newbies talking to me is still wild to me, half of them still haven’t even accepted my contact request. Yet they’re plenty active in the chat, so what gives? Anyway, I hope it’s just that they are intimidated by the very fact that I am beauty, and grace, and Miss United States. I hope we can win the next round, hopefully first or second place so we don’t have a close call again. We are trying to get Chris to go to the Arena so he can get us that 20% but he hasn’t answered so...what gives? On the alliance front I’m good with Kevin and Karen tribewise , the bigger picture is Kevin, Jacob and Sammy want to align and then we will have a bigger alliance that includes Beck, Juls and Eve. Eventually I might wanna break off and align with Jules and Eve, but having bigger targets around is essential. Anyway that’s all I got for now. I should start making video confessionals AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING. Ya know? Anyway toodles for now see ya next round. OH, and I’m hoping Jules and Jacob are safe this tribal :( love them and hope we can work together going forward. 

Hiiii, arena results are about to come in so I'm just gonna drop a quickie confessional before that happens. I don't honestly remember how much I talked about the strategy and gameplay that was going on, so I'll give you a quick rebriefing of that. I'm really close with Juls. Em I like, but I want more out of her. Jacob is quiet, but inoffensive. Billy, I actually like him, but there are certain things about him that just.. Rub me (and others) a strange way and that's why we voted him out because certain things he did just didn't quite gel with the rest of the team. If he does return from the arena though, it's possibly I may vouch for him over Jacob because Jacob... HE JUST NEEDS TO TALK!!! But idk. One world still SUCKS and is dragging me through the MUD because nobody wants to do cross-tribe talking me included but that gets me paranoid as FUCK, luv. About the live tribal, it was fun! My camera angle was awkward and I was soo nervous though, but I think I was still able to hold it together relatively well, act normal, and give semi-decent answers. Will definitely be improving my live tribal performance for next time so I can be a bad ass bitch on call, it's GOING to happen... dskfdsf. I love Emma on call/video sooooo much, But on text she's kind of dry. Maybe I need to ask her if I can call her sometime, but I haven't done a call for a game like this in a looong time. I'm a bit nervous about that. But yeah. I'm looking forward to the game... The first tribal just makes everything real, and you realize, oh shit, we're playing Survivor. And I forgot how thrilling it was to play in a live, video environment like that, it just grips you and it feels so much more intense than when wiki results are just posted in chat and you don't have to deal with physically seeing the person you're voting out, talking to them with your actual voice, etc. All that stuff just makes the experience that much more realistic and it's so intense and fun. I'm ready to get this game on (Btw fuck the arena twist)

hey guys im really loving this game so far... keep up the good work!

i didn’t appreciate the attitude billy gave me whenever i tried to help the team out but! i’m willing to get over it because he is a nice guy. i feel fairly comfortable with my team and i’m just hoping we can avoid another tribal! 

Hello! I can not believe I'm back for a 6th time on Tumblr Survivor this is so crazy! Especially for an Olympic season because I vowed to myself that I would never do a season again that was more than 20 people after being in Japan. Now that I'm back I'm ready to play, I haven't really came into this season with a strategy but if I did it would have changed because this is a One World season and now with the arena twist I'm sweating. One World makes the season super social (probably one of my least favorite twists) it's very easy for this season to let pre-mades and majorities take over just like that and let underdogs like me in this season to get taken out especially taken out early. So I have been social not only with me but a few people on different tribes but not too much. I don't want to seem like I'm playing too hard but I wanna build relationships before swaps happen so that people choose to ally with me (A WINNER) over a newbie or a returnee who hasn't won because I already have a big target on my back. With how the tribe divisions are it gives the newbies the biggest advantage with 15 newbies compared to 5 winners and 5 non-winner returnees, which isn't bad in a Fan vs. Favorite season because the ratio is even with returnees and newbies. However, now that I'm in the minority and also labeled a WINNER, I have to do damage control to lower my target but most importantly integrate with other people which is hard because I'm not the best social player and I know that's my weakness but I still have to attempt. In terms of my own tribe I'm closest to Kevin, when I talk to him we have a good conversation I probably already irritate him but I think out of everyone I can put my trust in him the most compared to everyone else. I think having one good ally is how I want to approach this season due to the arena twist I don't want to come across as running the tribe especially the winners tribe incase we do go to tribal because if I vote in the majority and that person stays they are immune and will be mad and spill the beans about the tribe, and I want that person to be the least mad at me so the focus is not on me. So having overall good vibes and 1 strong connection is a good strategy for the long term game. It might put me at risk for being voted out in the short term but I want to play the long-term game. Preferably if it is up to me I'd want Nicole to be the next closest to Kevin and myself without myself having to make an official deal with Nicole so I'm not seen as the ringleader. Kevin says he wants Stoner to be the first one voted out on our tribe but honestly I rather it be Karen. Stoner has the reputation keeps his target bigger than the rest and I think Karen has the better chance of flipping on the winners and succeeding than Stoner does. So my target is Karen if we do lose. I also believe that there may be an alliance with Nicole, Kevin, and Karen which I hope is not an actual alliance because that's bad news for me. I hope we don't go to tribal because I don't wanna go to a tribal with only 5 people. Wish me luck!

Whew it has been one round and i've fucked up so much its not even funny. its a little funny. anyways i start this game on a tribe of 5, i allign with connor who ive never played a game with and find some similar common ground, and with jacob who seems chill. we lose the first challenge sucks and all hell breaks loose, long story short fuck sammy. I'm trying to work my way back in caeleb and jacobs good graces. its gonna be a rocky road, but its one i've driven before

[i-rove-rock-n-roll]

Eden (cause rn there is no better title) Just some writing I felt like sharin.

He dreamt that he was back in prison, the blue walls suffocating, even as he lay in his cell, staring at the ceiling, they closed in on him. A murmur came from the hallway.

“Which prisoner is this?”

“How the hell should I know? All the same to me the damn punks.”

“I think this one's that Southern one. That one with the accent.” The other made a noise of assent and through half closed eyes, Gram saw the guard peer at him through the bars.

“Who cares?” the other guard said, disinterested.

The dream changed to nighttime, and he heard the panting nearby stop abruptly. A shovel was thrown up beside him, as Gram continued to lay, now pressed against the ground rather than the bunk.

“C’mon, Charlie, we gotta get him in the ground.”

“Why do we gotta do it?” The other man, presumably Charlie, whined. Gram felt them pick up his body, lugging it over to the grave, as his mind swirled in a fog not unlike the one surrounding them.

“Bastards got no family. No one to claim ‘im. No one to give a shit, so we get stuck with him.” They dropped Gram into the hole, none too gently, but he felt nothing, staring vacantly at the two men above him.

“Grab a shovel, bud. Get this over with.”

And the dirt covered him.

He awoke in the darkness, unable to breathe, his arms crossed over his chest. Choking on the dirt, he clawed upwards, blindly trying to get out. Finally, Gram’s hand broke out into the air, and he drug his body out.

“Who…” he gasped, “..am I? Fuckin’...Uma Thurman?”

He shivered, taking in his surroundings. The prison yard was gone, the ugly brick building no longer in sight. In fact, the only thing he could see were trees, strangely tall, in a way that made all others look like saplings. The leaves rustled, and the dark fog gleamed as an animal leapt out, followed by another, and another. Men followed, clutching leashes, but they weren’t quite right, each with grotesque faces, their eyes flashing with malice. The dogs smiled with them in unison, all with teeth sharp and hungry growls. It wasn’t hard to guess the goal of the game they wanted to play. Stumbling, Gram began to run. The trees blurred as he ran, even as his chest burned, reminding him of his lack of exercise, he moved. His legs pumped, barely slowing as he hit the river, drenching his knees with an icy rush. Gram stopped, waiting for them to follow. The not-men did not call to their beasts, but an eerie noise followed from the other side of the river. A horn sounded, followed by something dimly resembling a search light, and Gram took off again, lungs empty.

He collapsed once he reached a small clearing, the same one that contained his gravestone. He was back where he started.

Attempting to get his raspy wheezing under control, he leaned against the stone, staring at the clearly cut letters.

Jonathan Denvers. He blinked, the letters shifting. Ingram Niesler. He blinked again and watched the stone crumble.

The clearing was surrounded.

A figure stepped forward, tall and with blank eyes. The dogs at Gram’s back made no move, but growled softly before the figure’s swiveling head quieted it. Its eyes were like glass, seeing something he couldn’t.

“We have a job for him,” hissed a voice from behind, and Gram jumped. The leader of the not-man stopped a foot away, as if unwilling or unable to come closer. The others holding the beasts shifted in agreement, though none stepped up, even as the not-dogs thrashed against the leashes with incredible strength.

“As do we,” said the being with the glass eyes. “I don’t suppose you could wait your turn?” they asked mildly, ignoring the snarl they received in return.

“I don’t even know who you guys are, so I ain’t doin’ shit.” Gram was painfully aware of how high his voice had jumped up. Both pairs of eyes, clear and gleaming, glanced at him, like he were some sort of minor inconvenience.

“You don’t have a choice, Jonathan Denvers.”

“My name is Gram.” He wanted to scream, but his words came out in a squeak. “Not Jonathan,” his voice was stronger now. “Ingram.”

“You are Jonathan, Jehovah’s gift. And you will do as you are told.” The being twitched irritably and the not-man cackled at the look on Gram’s face.

“Feisty, this one. I like him.” The being slung an arm over his shoulder, cold fingers crawling against his skin. The other tensed even more than Gram. He couldn’t pull away. “Listen, kid, can I call you kid? Anyway--”

“Whatever it is, it ain’t happening.”

“Just hear me out, kid, I got a deal--” Gram snorted and the glass eyed figure seemed to smirk for a moment before becoming impassive again.

“Let me guess, I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, cause I think I’m better than you? Well, I ain’t Johnny, bitch, so scram.” His courage didn’t leave, even when the face twisted and the nails made pierce his throat. The glass eyed being moved in an instant, somehow, and had the figure down on its knees, a sword pressed against their Adam’s apple. The apple quivered as they laughed silently, eyes glued to the hard face above them.

“Still got it, don’t you, Mike? I think you’re a few feathers short though--urk!” Came the choke as the blade dug deeper into the not-man’s neck, as the being now known as Mike narrowed its eyes. Somehow, and he had absolutely no idea how, Gram had been so distracted by the appearance of the sword that he missed the enormous wings spreading outward, looking very much like a large, threatening bird, but with some gaps in his feathers. Gram swallowed and.began to inch away.

“This has been fun, but I think I’m gonna go home, now…”

“Oh, kid,” came the amused sigh from the being still on its knees. “You can’t go until we let you.” The glass eyed Mike blinked before Gram’s eyes, reappearing only a few inches away. Gram flinched, unable to see anything but the swirling emptiness in the eyes before him.

“Three days, Jonathan. Nicole had her chance, now it’s yours.”

The gleaming eyed being stood up, rubbing its throat loosely.

“Think on it, Johnny. You only got eternity left if you fail.”

“What are you talking about?” Gram blinked, confused.

“Cleaning up the town. That’s what your little cuz thinks she’s doing. Doing a better job than half my..well, I can’t really call them people, but still.” the being waved a hand dismissively. 

“Think of it as a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah.” Mike suggested. 

The figure rolled its eyes, waggling a finger in Gram’s direction. “If you don’t behave Uncle Sammy won’t give you your present.”

“I’ve never been one much for surprises.”

“I know.” The figure rolled its eyes. “Made you such a boring child.”

“I thought your name was Lucifer, anyway.”

“Newsflash, once upon a time I had a different name.” The Devil gave Gram a pointed look. “Sam was my name just as much a Lucifer is now, Jonathan.” Gram opened his mouth, but he held up a hand. “Don’t get so riled. I’m proving a point.”

“A pretty shitty one.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t do any research before picking your name?” Mike said dryly. “Of all the names you could have chosen for yourself, you chose an old Norse name.”

Gram blinked. “Is it? I just liked the sound of it.”

“It means ‘Ing’s raven’. Or ‘raven of peace’. Whichever sounds catchier.”

“You’re like a walking dictionary.”

“No, I just know how to use google.” Gram huffed, muttering something about prison and piece of crap computers. “Why go by Gram? I mean, spelling wise, didn’t that get you into trouble with paperwork?”

“Graham is a type of cracker, and Gram is shorter.”

“I can tell literally no difference when you speak.”

“That’s cause you’re a da--” Lucifer’s eyes flashed.

“Watch your mouth, kid.”

“Geez, jus’ like the swear jar at home.” Now the Devil’s eyes rolled in response, temper forgotten.

“To get back on topic, I did not choose my name by coincidence.” It drummed its fingers briefly. “The name Lucifer means light bringer. Even as Samael I brought this light to you people, yet I also doled out what everyone feared. The Wrath of God.” Their lips quirked in a humorless smile. “I was not a fluffy little cherub with a harp. None of us--them--” They jerked a thumb towards the army of angels not five feet away. “I mean, are.”

“Depending on who you talk to,” Mike said slowly. “Ravens are symbols of good, or of evil. No one gives a shit about where it actually came from anymore, just like they forget my origins and Sammy’s.” Their lips quirked in a humorless smile. “Definitions are tricky bastards, each language you people make creates new ideas and problems.” 

“Are you guys going anywhere with this?” Gram’s head was spinning, but he refused to sit down. “I’d like to be up in time to get some breakfast before Uncle Lou eats it all.” 

“The point, Ingram, is this: You may bear the name, raven of peace, but what side is the raven on? Peace is subjective. What one considers Heaven another considers Hell, as the twerps in your little town have already decided.”

Gram remembered the car ride with his parole officer, and the low whistle that accompanied the impressed statement. 

“Looks like Eden.” He remembered his own words, half serious, half inside joke,

“Well, we call it Hell.”

“You humans have limited concepts.” The Devil said, eyes twinkling with amusement. 

“That’s the way language works. Try goin’ to Spain and see if they treat you any different.” Gram paused. “What do I call you two? Ma’am? Sir? Captain?” Now it was Mike--Michael-- Gram knew, that rolled their eyes. 

“You don’t need to call me anything. Just do your fuckin’ job.”

“Was that a Friday After Next quote?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“Never thought I’d meet an angel with a sense of humor.”

“Archangel.”

“Or an inferiority complex.”

“Comes with the territory, Jonathan Ingram.” The archangel answered briskly, rolling their eyes with the Devil laughed. “Now, wake up”

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 4: “Trying To Cover Ur Murderous Tracks” - Jones

JENNET 

nash isnt on my tribe but i cant help but feel bad for them :((( the last two days that we were together as old calumma i actually started to connect with them. they will be missed 💔

(a little later)

why am i obsessed with ethan ? *insert meme of that tiktoker just standing there*

(after building a bamboo bed)

super nervous for immunity, if we end up losing i think i might try to push for pennino bc he pissed me off the other night saying he wouldnt be available for the comp and literally SITTING THERE watching us do the comp... i really like sam and ethan (tbh more than i like lindsay and jabari) but thats only bc of how much we communicate with each other idk i do know lindsay wants to push for pennino too bc she was annoyed it too so maybe let her do all the pushing and if it backfires, just push for her to go😳

JESSICA

No song 4 today Last round we voted out Nash. That was not my ideal choice (I wanted Nicole to go) but Pete was paranoid Nicole may have an idol, that Nicole/Mikey/Nash were secretly working together, or just that something might go down. He also trusts Nicole for reasons unknown. I didn't love leaving Mikey in the dark (I think that really only helped Pete, not me) but I was nervous that if I pushed Nicole too hard as the vote, Pete would vote Mikey and then that was really the worst case scenario. If we lose this round, I am voting Nicole no question. She asked me what happened after the vote + if we could talk which I thought was great! I sent her an explanation that basically said I didn't trust Nash because they did not talk to me, I was worried OG Calumma was still a thing, and I didn't trust Nicole because she didn't start talking to me until after we lost + she left me on read a lot. And what does she do right after I sent that? Leave me on read again! I was excited to work with her when we first swapped but I don't see that happening at all now. The nice thing is because Pete lied to her, Mikey and Nicole voted each other, AND Lovelis was already initially down to vote Nicole, I'm hoping if we lose the vote is really easy. I also don't think Nicole has the idol because.... ...I found it! Okay, no I didn't. I did find a ruby though. I think that in each quadrant of the adventure, there is a gem and the four gemstones combined will make an idol. I already have 1, I have a good idea of where it could be in the north, and most importantly I am pretty sure Nicole has no advantages. I think if she had an idol, she might have played it last round, but my guess is that there is only one idol in the game and no one has it yet. However right now I'm not sharing this information with anyone. I hope that if we lose, Pete votes for Mikey out of paranoia (and that Nicole does as well) which means moving forward, Mikey really only has me and that's an alliance I can keep long term. I do also think that we are potentially swapping after this OR we will do a double tribal after this and swap then. I do not want us to lose twice because that's when things get tricky but if we do, I think I will be set up well enough that no one is coming for me.

PETE 

so my og Brookesia alliance of jessica and lovelis (plus me) they want to vote out Nicole but i reeeeaaally don’t wanna do that. Nicole and I had this talk of moving on from our past so if I just vote her out first chance I get that’d just be a huge dick move. They for some reason believe Mikey which I honestly don’t, I think he may be a little weasel. Nash doesn’t talk to me at all, so i’m hoping maybe I can shift the vote onto Nash by scaring them with the thought of Nicole having and idol

(after dropping his rice into the sand)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH IDIDIT I DID IT IDIDIT literally i have THE biggest fucking knot in my stomach i was SO fUcking NERVOUS this is so fuckignw crazy i cant skdjdbxsjkdb i’ve NEVER been in control of a vote before like everything i told someone to do they did like i’m not gonna get all like egotistical and all that but like sjkdsxkdbsjjdjxjdkdb ive never been in this position before it’s wild i’m usually like the mikey. like i’m just there, hoping people include me but kinda just scraping by until they decide it’s my turn to leave and NOW!!!! I JUST BLINDSIDED SOMEBODYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

JENNET

trying really hard to do this comp and my arthritis is making my hands spasm :(( powering thru and hopefully we dont go to tribal. if we do im afraid that im going to be voted out :((

JABARI

So i scored for the tribe which is great but then we tie and there is tower of hanoi. Lets just say ill never play that game again but I swear im not giving up no sir....they said they wouldnt boot me because of it but ima make sure of it.

JENNET 

in love with ethan hes the best person in the world

(after staring at Ethan)

really sucks going to tribal council and i know i let my team down so now im trying to find a way- SOME WAY to remind them that old calumma wanted to go after pennino next and to hopefully keep ethan out of the fire. sam approached me about an alliance with him and ethan and tbf idc what anybody calls me or what they think but im honestly closer to the too of them than to anybody on the tribe- closer to ethan than i was to jake even😳

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12YzvXBooOu3lndrE99YopPOcO4VEAYYB/view?usp=drivesdk lmk if this works also fun fact i just tried to open the camera on the computer im borrowing and the computer bluescreened lol i hate it here

SAM

https://youtu.be/M4E00bmBj0A

PETE

The way this game is going Id say that I’m probably closest with Jessica just because we’ve been talking since the start, she’s really nice & enthusiastic, and we’ve agreed so far on the things that need to happen so we share a lot of information with each other. Lovelis is a little bit of a wild card because he never really talks that much so I’m going to try to bond with him more so that he doesn’t feel like just another number.

LOVELIS

Who knew we’d pull out a win with flash games! Maybe we need to stop shitting on then and start praying for more of them to pop up here LMAO. So glad I can just have this day to speak to people a bit more and just relax a little - I feel like me Jess and Pete are in a comfortable position within this tribe so I’m praying for no more funny business with another premerge swap but I’m tryna stay on my toes!

ETHAN

Ok so tribal time: I am in a minority position right now and it is looking sketchy. I feel like I am going because of how Jabari and Jennet have not talked to me at all today and instead have ghosted me. I have something, but not sure if I want to play it. Do I trust people, or do I just full send and blow it up? Time shall tell

JESSICA 

Yay we won immunity! I love getting my Dolphin Olympics redemption arc, it's been 6 years in the making.

PENNINO

Now, it's 4 hours before the first tribal as Furcifer, and I think that us from OG Calumma will go and do a Pagong to Ethan and Sam. Since Ethan was a beast in  the comps, and we want to keep tribal lines, that puts Sam up for the chopping block. As for Nash leaving, no surprise. Honestly, I feel pretty safe and now i'm just waiting for another swap.

MADISON

I don't know how I've survived four rounds but here we are. I think I've legit gotten the lowest score in the past 2 challenges but everyone else is a beast so I get to stay safe for another round. The downside to being safe so long is that there isn't really a lot of gameplay happening over on Planet Brookesia and some of us might be a little bit too comfy so that when swap time comes or we lose the next challenge, it'll be scramble city to figure something out.

JAKE

https://youtu.be/Hz-Ix0ZeQ7E y'all when I tell you i'm manic just thinking about crazy fringe theories related to this game lmaoooooo

JONES

ok bet lets get strategic:tm: i feel like a lot of my confessionals are rlly like ,, , , ,me just talking ab "wow i rlly like this person, not this person so and so and whatnot" and i haven't rlly gotten to bare bones like ,, what i'm thinking ab game wise ? for starters - i think i'm in a rlly good spot surprisingly? LIKE don't get me wrong its fking dangerous being in a 4-2 but i think i'm set up super super well? i'm officially working with all of Daisy, Sammy, Shane, and Jake, and am in an alliance w everyone of those people besides Sammy. but sammy has vouched saying that he does want to work w me and has my back and i don't have like,, any reason to doubt that rn ? unfortunately the only way to rlly like ,, ,, have everyone prove their trust to me is by going to tribal aldksfjasdlfj but i dont rlly see a reason for them to like ,, , lie to me ? esp when we haven't gone to tribal? i don't see the point in marinating someone this isn't among us and ur trying to cover ur murderous tracks,,, but ya ? i'm in a good spot. i think based on my alliances and allies and whatnot, and i've stated this already so this isn't rlly a surprise, but madison would probs be the target if we'd have to go to tribal. and Jake has stated to me too that he hasn't rlly talked to madison that much either so it doesn't seem like an uncommon thought process. after the challenge tiebreaker yesterday , the newly formed ALLEANCHE! kind of came together as the 4 most active people on the tribe so it SEEMS like it would be madison AND sammy getting targetted and , ,, , sammy going for me isn't rlly cash money bc if sammy DOES have my back then that's me losing one of MY allies,, but i don't think we're going to enough tribals before another swap for that to actually be a thing ? so hopefully if we do go to tribal it'd be madison and not sammy, but i think i, if not i then maybe jake LOL, can make a good case for madison to go over sammy. speaking of jake i have a rlly bad gut feeling that i'm gonna have to think ab cutting him soon - or at least before merge. i've kinda been letting him take the reigns since preswap to make him kind of look like a leader ish ? so i'm rlly hoping that like ,, , hypothetically speaking. lets say i'm AGAIN put on another tribe w jake (bc lbr we're swapping again),, and lets say hypothetically they wanna split up the supposed "duo" of myself and jake,,, whos the smarter person to take out - the leader whos kinda been calling the shots and making the alliances since round 1, or the person whos proven themself to be reliable and to keep their team safe and be able to go to bat for their team ? idk IDK that's just me but i definitely think like ,, in terms of a building threat level i think jake is definitely the easier target asldkfjasd which is UNFORTUNATE like i LOVE JAKE but i feel like if it comes to me and jake and jake is putting me in DANGER then , ,, well,, :( i gotta do what i gotta DO i'm pawned as old reliable for a reason :katenails: but ya uhm,,, shane/daisy/jake/i were talking on call after the tiebreaker ab what could happen and we all basically agreed theres no way in hell that there ISN'T another swap on the horizon or at least like,, a twist or something. u can't just swap at 18 on a 20 person cast and just expect us to sit like lil ducks on sunday brunch, if anything we're probs gonna swap at like ,, , , , 15? OR hosts are cracked and swap us NEXT ROUND bc they're sadistic. but ya there's def another swap it rlly just depends on when and whos there to experience it - i.e whether or not i'm gonna have security from my allies or not ya feel? i feel. also there's definitely probs like ,, , ,a double tribal. or smth. or like, smth crazy and dumb and stupid that i don't have the brain capacity to rlly comprehend. but ya hope i win this was a good strategy talk #fruciferandcallumathrowchallenge

NICOLE

Hello!!! Nash went home and I'm sad so I am PROTESTING confessionals! You won't know anything that is happening with me! Nothing! (Just kidding nothing happened this round, everyone ignored me and then we won immunity so they had no need to)

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1TxoVh69i2GPA-agNAfyW0G-Bu07weXyZ?usp=sharing

SAMMY

so I had to write a paper and I'm rushing to get this in...blinks...whats new anyways I have been so off in like the idol hunting and I have felt so detached from this game since I have only been to tribal once? but I think the people in danger would be like Madison or Jake? they have both been brought up to me by daisy...and in all seriousness I would be fine with that? I honestly really am only prioritizing Jones and Daisy in this tribe. I feel fine with my position in this game and I even got a point from the flash games. Luckily Daisy won for us in the tiebreaker and we were able to barely escape tribal. I really do hope I can continue to avoid tribal so that I can get as far into this to make it to the more individual stage of this game.

DAISY

https://youtu.be/3kCYnxDIdQY

TRIBAL COUNCIL

[bb-bigbang-org]

EPISODE 6 - “I can finally sleep with both eyes closed tonight.” - FROSBY .

.

.

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 21:

Eviction: As expected, Mandi was voted out with a strong majority. It was a shame to see her go, but she really was super quiet in the house and it was a good idea to separate the family before jury.

Announcements: We made it to jury!! I'm so excited!! I will officially have a part in the outcome of finale night. That's pretty cool. We also heard about this Before the Beginning twist, which is pretty interesting. I think the lack of talking in the house won't be too bad because things can be communicated in DMs, it's just a bit more annoying. The not knowing who is winning each thing and what the votes counts are...that's a bit more interesting. This will be quite a week.... The pre-jury twist sounds fun! I have no idea what it will be, but I like the idea.

Plans: If somehow Frosby or I won HOH, we could take out Austin and do it without anyone finding out. The most ideal way this week could go is, Frosby or I win HOH, the other one gets the power to see the HOH, Austin gets backdoored and no one knows who did it…

DESIREE

Daily Thoughts for Day 22:

Link Hunt: I am guessing a million things and haven't found a link... I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or if I'm just dumb, but man this is super frustrating. I want the HOH power!!!

Victory!!: Uhm...y'all...I FUCKING DID THAT SHIT!!!! I am sooo excited right now. I would really love to get out Austin this week, he is a big target and I really do not trust him... Lukas is obviously a big target as well, but I trust him a bit more so he is not my priority. Either one would be a good move, though. I told Frosby I won HOH, but that's it. I fully trust him to keep my secret. Drew also messaged me and told me he got the HOH power, so he knows I won. That puts a bit of a wrench in my plans, because Drew and Austin are close, but I'm not going to let that stop me from taking out a huge target. I don't think anyone can blame me for that (even though I'm sure they would). Drew swears he will keep my secret, but I'm preparing for that to go out the window when I put up Austin. Drew told me he is fine with anyone going up, but I don't think he really means that.

FROSBY

Well a lot has happened in the game and yet another one of my allies has fallen to the majority alliance. This time I was the one inside that majority alliance. I only joined the alliance alongside Desiree so we would be in the biggest group of players in the game, but to also know what our enemies were planning. Turns out Brooke made the alliance to tell a large group of people that Mandi and Joe were siblings and because of this Mandi was the next one to go. Thankfully it wasn't Katrina that went because that would have been terrible. 

Anyways we have finished up the next challenge and Desiree ended up winning it! Finally someone who isn't my enemy in this game won HoH, I can finally sleep with both eyes closed tonight. Anyways me and Desiree have been talking and we agree that putting up Lukas v. Joe is the play. The chances of either of those 2 winning so we can backdoor Austin would be fantastic and a perfect part to the plan. Now the thing is Desiree doesn't want me to speak a word to anyone that she won HoH and that I am doing, but while talking to Joe I realized he thinks Brooke is trying to blindside him. I let him know that this was in fact true info and it was that giant alliance that Brooke created that she is using to get the blindside going. 

So anyways I wanted to strengthen my relationship with Joe so I called him on the DMs last night, and wanted to let him know where he was at in the game. I let him know about this giant alliance and how i'm a rat on the inside and I'm doing what I can to twist the alliance whichever way doesn't hurt Joe, Desiree or Katrina. I also let him know that he will be put up this week but he isn't the target. I let him know that the main target is Austin and the fact that we are putting up Lukas and Joe is to make sure they win the Power of Veto. 

Lets hope this plan works and Joe doesn't get voted out, that would be no bueno 

DREW

So continuing my diary room rewind... we're talking about Week 5 and now that its been a few days to really digest my thoughts... here's another round of Drew Dishes.

Lukas wins his third HoH, and I'm just shocked. I really am. I really didn't think that it was possible but here we are... with the results being posted that Lukas winning once again. But that's not the more "whoopdeedo" moment of the week. it was the big reveal that Mandi and Joe are siblings. 

And I had already known the week prior because Brooke literally told Austin who told me. And I'm just sitting here and absorbing the damn tea. Like spill it for me, spill it! I love the tea and I will love to get any and all advantage in this game as much as possible. 

So that happens and Joe wins the veto. Because we need a third comp beast coming into this game. And my veto chip is like.. missing. like- i swear i can't compete in a fucking veto to save my life. But he wins the veto and he's removing himself and leaving Mandi on the block, which absolutely sucks because I truly love Mandi with my absolute heart. 

Like what kind of a mother has a full time job, two children and can be social with everyone and still be so personable? Like HELLLO!! She has to be Wonder Woman in disguise somehow because this game is taking everything out of me just to talk to the same people over and over- so for Mandi to just up and give up against Katrina... sucks. Truly it does. But my connection with Katrina blossomed even more because Mandi straight up ghosted me- and I don't need that in a game for the win tbh :/

So that's it for the rewind. Not much to say because this is all... boring to be fairly honest. Hopefully the Week 6 rewind will be much more juicy! 

SAMMY

https://youtu.be/oXbpcm36TvM

JOE

Terrible week, although I have successfully avoided the block. At, the cost of my allies. I would love to be able to keep Des this week, but I don't know how possible that is. Brooke is still the worst, I love Drew, and frosby is my boy.

DREW

I think we are in the Week 6 rewind? I honestly don't remember. But DARK WEEK... what the fuck is this twist? I honestly don't know how this mess of a week LMAOOOO but whatever it is- this is the perfect time to get a threat out. Meaning, I'm looking at Austin, Lukas or Joe. Because they're major competition threats. 

And would you look at that! I lose yet another HoH, but that's not a problem because I won the Afterglow Advantage which allows me to know who is the HoH and allows me to speak with them and hopefully get my footing into NOT being nominated- and I honestly was so surprised to see Desiree up in that HoH Suite.

But like the nice lady was down to chat with me, and I promised her that I wasn't gonna tell anyone- but I told two people, Lukas and Sammy, that I have this power. But I didn't tell them that Desiree was the HoH until like.. an hour after the results. Which violates my trust with her like immediately, but solidifies my position with Lukas and Sammy even more.

But with Desiree, she gave me the option to throw out a few ideas, and I said that I'm fine with anyone going up as long as it wasn't me. Preferably, one of the three competition beasts- and she agreed. And the week started off with Joe and Lukas on the block, with Austin has a backdoor. I'm ecstatic at that result because both Joe and Lukas trust me enough to let them think that I will use the veto on them, and mawma- that's the best position for me to be in.

And the veto- lemme get to that... I FINALLY GOT TO PLAY A DAMN VETO! The damn veto box decided to spit out my chip for the damn first time! And it was a memory comp, which is something that I am GREAT at... but I only score 11 points. Which is an F in terms of academic grading... like what? I'm better than this! But like Lukas tells me that he wins, so that I'm okay with that. Let this private win expand his target on his back a little more- I won't complain. And who goes up in his place? Austin. Which is also fine by me. I was always planning to stab him in the back one the jury started anyway. 

In order for me to win, I needed to start lacing that jury house with my allies- and I didn't know how much Austin trusted me considering that I made most of his moves during his HoH reign, but I need a good word for those people like Frosby, Brooke and Kayla when they inevitably join the Jury House.

So just like the good little villainous strategist that I am- I immediately start working on getting Sammy, Chloe and Lukas to vote out Austin. Katrina can't vote. Frosby is immediately a vote for Joe to stay, and Brooke and Kayla? Let the evict Joe and look like boo boo the fool. They really voted in the minority if that was the case cause the vote ended in a 5-2 if everything on my end was correct. 

And I think that concludes this shitty twist- cause I'm over it. This rewind, I was dreading to relive because it was four days of pure torture and hell. Like, 2 of those 4 days- i had to be on CALL with Brooke and Joe for 5+ hours. 5 PLUS HOURS. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH ALCOHOL COULD HAVE BEEN FLOWING IN MY BLOODSTREAM DURING THAT TIME? MANY!! MANY PINTS OF ALCOHOL!! I'm just glad that Joe trusts me more now that he's in the game a little longer and I need to start switching my focus on evicting Sammy/Lukas/Brooke/Joe. Once that is complete- I will assume the winner title! 

FROSBY

This is by far the worst eviction pairing PERIOD. Desiree v. Katrina my top 2 closest allies put up on the block against each other. This is actually the worst for me. Like I have no good solutions, I dont want to argue for either of them because the way the vote sounds right now it could go either way. So I don't want to go to people and be like hey vote desiree out, because if desiree survives the vote then im royally fucked with my best ally. But on the other hand I can't be telling people not to vote desiree bc my true goal is to get Katrina to go through with me. The problem is I cant go out an campaign for Katrina because of Joe and Desiree. If I do that then I will lose both of those allies and then I will legit be sitting on the outside of the game, with no allies at all. I even was in a call last night and was talking to desiree and joe and honestly I love both of them and want to keep working with them. I'll put it simple if Katrina goes its not the end of the world I will still have 2 strong allies that both will have bigger targets on their back than me.  While on the other hand Katrina is my sister and we made a final 2 pact that I know for a fact we both want to hold onto so if Katrina can somehow live through this vote not only do we keep that final 2 pact but the fact we are siblings and secretly allies this whole time can continue working in our favor. The key is I need Lukas, Joe, myself or Katrina/Desiree to win this next HoH really bad. Every eviction has been slowly picking off my close allies 1 after the other, the only eviction that went in my favor was austin going home. I need another HoH in my favor or else this game is going to get even harder for me. 

JOE

Well, brooke was evicted and i was ecstatic. Her going was probably best for my game at this point. The double hits and I really did not want to see frosby go. He was basically my number 1 at this point. I tried to use my pre-jury power to save his ass but it was all in vain. I have hopefully secured a final three deal with Drew and Lukas. Only problem is that Drew doesn't trust Lukas all that much. Overall, I've had a good past few cycles and I hope to keep up this streak of not dying.

DREW

Alright another Drew Dishes entry. And this week- we're going to review Cycle 7... and let me tell you... it was something that I dislike. 

The week was just pure distaste for me because Brooke wins HoH... the one person that I wanted to get rid of this week has to be pushed back a cycle cause that bitch gets the one power that essentially lets her call all of the shots. And yours truly is on the block because I don't talk to her... wait what?

Is this bitch for real? LIKE Chloe, Katrina and Kayla are RIGHT there. If you wanted a pawn to go up against Desiree... you put one of them up. Not give a reason towards a vindictive bitch to nominate you the next time he gets HoH... like you clearly did not play this game correctly! 

So then, Desiree and I or D&D in what I nicknamed it... are on the block and Sammy and Katrina are picked for the veto- two people that I trust alot in this game. Obviously aside from Chloe and Lukas, and its a puzzle punishment veto. I love this comp because I'm excellent at puzzles! I ADORE PUZZLES! Anyway, the way that this veto worked out for me because I ended up 2nd place and Sammy gets 1st. Obviously he takes the veto, but the prize that I end up with is $10 from the hostie toasties. Which is AMAZING!! Like free money?!? Unheard of! 

AND that's not the best part. Sammy reveals his cards and plays the veto on me, meaning that it shows that he and I are close this game. Im off the block, I get $10 and all 4 of us in They Suck The Most get to dictate who leaves.. and we selected Desiree to save face with Brooke. Which is sad, but like... eh. No harm done with us.

POST DOUBLE EVICTION CAST ASSESSMENT

https://youtu.be/A-nB9ZD7KVk

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy

This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment.  Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional. 

im dying, so its been fun toodaloo 

Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round. 

IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

Okay, so here goes.   To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess.  Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,)  I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob.   In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it.   However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win.  Then where would the sheep be?   They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out.   Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy.   Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go.   I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her.  It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,)  and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word.   The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game.   Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it.   Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement.   Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.

I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying. 

I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.

Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable

Bye bye Sammy 

Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy 

I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.

well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!

I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.