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theveryworstthing · 4 years ago

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So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class. I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace. I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway. This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

#long post #the addams family #Character Design #au #design challenge #i am incapable of doing a design challenge like a normal person #oh god i forgot the cut lol

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jonphaedrus · 2 years ago

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lamb stew recipe attempt to be recreated

im gonna do my best. mostly because i didnt write it down as i went and invented the entire thing as i was doing it and also every single ingredient in my grandmother’s house is expired and i had to substitute a Lot. here’s some variation on the lamb stew i made last year. this should be done in three stages. stage the first: prep, ideally the night before you cook, but if not do it in the morning at least 3-6hrs ahead of cooking. stage the second: bone broth. start this at least 5 hours before you intend to serve the food. stage the third: final soup assembly.

total time: i think it took me 10 hours. fuck if i know.

(beetroot voice) ingredience:

two lamb shoulders

six cherry tomatoes

pasta(?) (amount, pick whatever)

barley (amount, pick whatever)

two carrots (medallions, thin-cut)

one and a half sticks of celery (peeled and chopped)

a bunch of mushrooms. everyone there liked mushrooms so i think i put in like six brown baby bella mushrooms.

like however much garlic you feel like putting in. i think i put in half an entire head. roast it first, in olive oil and in tinfoil

ideally, if you have it, soy sauce. i didn’t. worchestireshire sauce works in a pinch.

salt, pepper, and whatever the hell else you want. i think i had mrs.dash’s. season to taste. idfk.

3-6 hours before you start cooking:

lament the fact that your family is all hoarders but never of anything useful and you have no measuring tools including no water cup measurement, no non-expired spices, nothing umami except an almost-expired bottle of worchestershire sauce, and reconsider most of your life decisions

remember that you’re the only person in your entire family who can cook and your father once made “japanese whitefish” by braising it in melted butter and put it over white rice

reconsider and realize that there’s no helping them and resolve to eyeball all of it.

chop all the cherry tomatoes in half, salt them, cover in plastic wrap, put them in the fridge

do a salt, pepper, and minced garlic rub on the lamb with as much worchestershire sauce (or soy sauce) you’d want for dipping sushi in, and a little bit of brown sugar. “this lack of measurements is unhelpful” i know i’m sorry i didnt have a single measurement instrument. my grandmother has none. i was eyeballing it. cover all of them in plastic wrap, leave them in the fridge for at least two hours, then flip them over so the other side gets the marinade.

cooking (4+hrs before serving):

keeping the head of garlic whole, peel the outer shell off and chop the tips off of each piece. wiped the open tips down with olive oil, roast in the oven for 30min at 400f/200c for 45min to an hour.

take the lamb shoulders out and chop out all the bones. chop the remaining meat up into stew-size chunks and throw them in with the tomatoes in the pot. sear them on high heat until it smells good. put them back in the marinade and back in the fridge.

take the cherry tomatoes and put them on the bottom of your stew pot (without washing it, never at any point wash it from hereon in) with olive oil and blister them on low heat until they’re charred, bubbly, and smell great. leave everything in the pot.

while the tomatoes are blistering, wash and medallion two carrots and the celery. put them aside. at this point (or soon thereafter) the garlic should be roasted.

once the garlic is roasted, take your pot with its lamb/blistered tomato sear and add to it about a quarter/euro coin sized amount of worchestershire sauce, the lamb shoulder bones, the carrots, the mushrooms, and the celery. add half of the head of roasted garlic. if you’re lucky and have spices, add a little bit of oregano. i had one bay leaf so i added that. put in at least 6 cups/1.5l of water put on the lid and leave the whole thing to reduce at low heat for at minimum three hours. add water regularly whenever it gets too low.

two hours before you intend to serve the soup: add the chopped up lamb from the fridge and its marinade juice. reduce the heat to very low.

half an hour before you intend to serve the soup: add the barley and the pasta. if it’s getting too thick add a little more water. add salt/spices to taste.

turn off the heat. before serving heat back up a little bit. use the rest of the head of garlic to mash up and make a 2:1 ratio of garlic to butter spread for the loaf of bread your father helpfully “bought” to “add to dinner”

#recipes #yeah. it was like that.

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obeiii-mee · 3 years ago

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Hello! Can I request an hc about a shady MC who's not phase by anything in Devildom with the brothers (and Diavolo?? he deserves love!!!)? Like, when Luci's like "i CaN KiLL yOu hUmAN", MC's reaction was like "Oh... congratulations then." i need more shady mc who may or may not be planning to ruin your life😂😂 Thanks and take care!!❤❤

The Brothers + Diavolo with an MC that is not phased by DevilDom

__________________________________

Pls I need more shady MC, they would not take any shit from the brothers. Put any Gen Z-er with these guys and you’ve got yourself a suicidal and reckless human exchange student.

They wouldn’t know what to do with one of those ahaksbakanhaka you’re right, Diavolo deserves all the love >:(((((((

You better take care too >:( thanks for sending me this big brain request. I’ve been preoccupied with other projects so I took a while to get to this ask. Hope you’re doing OK💙

____________________________________

Lucifer:

-He thought having a human exchange student was going to be bad enough as it is but this…..this was so much worse than he could have ever imagined

-The moment you arrived, he already knew you were going to be a problem child and a persistent one at that

-Literally the first thing you asked him was : “Why do you look like an off-brand Levi Ackerman?”

-And he was left there, astounded, confused and offended because he had no idea who you were talking about (cuz at that point you hadn’t met the third eldest) and the tone you had was, frankly, pissing him off

-You kept wondering off on your own????? Without looking like you gave a shit even though you almost walked into a butcher’s shop that specialises in human meat???? Tf MC?

-Also really irritated that you couldn’t be intimidated and that DevilDom was like a playground to you, for some reason? Like, MC get out of the fiery pits of eternally tormented souls- this is Hell, not the McDonald’s ball pit ffs

-Things did not improve for him lmao, by the end of the first week he had already ripped out a good chunk of his hair because of you

-“MC, you should know by now provoking demons like this for no good reason is only going to make life harder for you. Keep this up and you’ll get killed in no time because of your behaviour.”

-“Great, can we have a hip-hip and a hurray?”

-In the span of one day, he’s had to come to your rescue six times (approximately) because you’re too nonchalant about your surroundings around literal creatures of hell

-He doesn’t have enough coffee or will to live for this bs

-“Lucifer, I found this dead plant and brought it here because it reminded me of you.”

-“…..sigh. Why? Why does it remind you of me?”

-“Because it’s cold and unresponsive.”

-He made the consecutive decision to ignore you

-(low-key kept the plant tho)

-Honestly, you get on his nerves a lot and he has definitely contemplated killing you in the past but at the end of the day he really can’t bring himself to do it

-We both know he tried a few times lmfao

-“I will tear you limb from limb, human-“

-“Can I finish my tea first.”

-“You…wait, what?”

-“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting this tea get cold. Try to kill time before I’m done and I’ll smash this cup against your head.”

-If you try hard enough, you might even elicit a laugh out of him, especially if your shadiness is directed at any of his brother which results in him patting your head affectionately

-Nowadays he’s just concerned because you seemed to have made an alliance of sorts with Belphagour and Satan and that’s not a good sign

-For his sake, if not yours, at least try to survive the year without getting chomped on by a random demon please

-He’s too stubborn to let you die just because you’re unbothered by everything so cut him some slack and help out damn it

Mammon:

-“Oi Lucifer, how come I’m stuck babysittin’ this stupid human?”

-“And how come I’m stuck with this asshole for a tour guide, with his fake ass designer shoes and no brand sunglasses. That’s a lot of smack talk from someone with crow shit stains covering the back of his jacket. Also, did you stick your hair in a bucket of mayonnaise?”

-……..

-He was so offended lol

-Normally, humans like you cower in fear whenever demons are as much as mentioned because of the whole “I can eat you whole” thing

-And here you are; insulting the Avatar of Greed and one of the princes of Hell himself just because you didn’t like his attitude

-Don’t worry tho, he warms up to you in less than a fucking month simply because you still come to his rescue whenever his brothers start insulting him and wow, look at that, his heart is now combusting on the floor

-“Y’all have no right to criticise Mammon when he has the most self control out of all of you.”

-“Since when does Mammon have any self control? He can’t keep himself from nicking anything that looks shiny.”

-“Motherfucker, I don’t see him trying to choke me to death, respectfully pls shut the fuck up. I don’t want to say I have favourites but if I do, it’s definitely him.”

-While Mammon’s in the background, with hearts instead of pupils in his eyes like ❤️👄❤️

-He doesn’t even mind running around after you anymore (will still complain about it though because your ass is in constant danger and he’s had enough)

-Honestly, you keep starting shit with random demons, some of which are quite powerful mind you, and you don’t back down even when he’s there to step in

-Would low key love to watch you fight one of your classmates at RAD and organise a ticket selling booth for the event but Lucifer will hang him a new one if he does

-So for now, he sticks to baring his teeth at the aggravator in question and you’re there, giving the same demon the middle finger

-The way you sometimes match his energy gets him so hyped up lmao

-“Mammon, did you steal Levi’s money again?”

-“T’s none of her business human. Now go away, shoo!”

-“Bitch, don’t ‘shoo’ me, I ain’t a bird. Now tell me, did you?”

-“…..Why do you ask?”

-“Because a new flavour of instant noodles just got announced, called ‘Super Hell-Sauce Flavour’ and I thought you might be more interested in that than wasting the money on gambling.”

-“….ok but only if you come with me to buy some.”

-This…this is true love right here

Levi:

-Oh no, now there’s two of you

-Why do I feel like his energy would match MC’s almost immediately? Maybe it’s because he spends too much time in his room on the internet like the rest of us do

-“What do you want, you stupid normie?”

-“300…..”

-“….300 what?”

-“300 mangas collected, thousands of episodes of anime watched, over 60 character figurines, plushies, body pillows, merchandise and several posters only to be called a fucking normie by a demon weeb that’s only known me for 10 minutes.”

-Boom, instant friendship

-He becomes attached to you almost immediately and now that he knows how unphased you are by DevilDom, he is seriously worried

-Hell, you’re making him consider going outside his room just to make sure you’re alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere because you decided to get on someone’s nerves that particular day

-Even during the quiz thing, when he almost kills you, you’re just sitting on the floor and awkwardly watching him as he throws a sissy fit

-Levi feels sort of conflicted with you because one one hand you’re good company and he loves having you around, you’re his Henry after all

-But on the other hand, you put yourself in so much danger it makes him paranoid so often to the point where he wants to keep you locked in his room and wrapped in bubble wrap

-Nearly had a heart attack when you almost walked right into a pit of lava like MC???? This isn’t one of his video games???? You’re not gonna respawn if you die????

-Besides all that, he gets a bit jealous of you confidence and your ability to just do whatever without fearing death or consequence

-“MC, how do you do it?”

-“Do what?”

-“How do you go about your life without a care in the world?”

-“I guess I’ll tell you my secret Levi. I’m not like other humans that’s why, I’m just so unique I do things differently.”

-“You sound like a pick me-“

-As long as you’re OK and not injured because of your carelessness, he’s indifferent about your behaviour and will even applaud you for your bravery when it comes to this sort of thing

-“lmao the human exchange student just dumped Solomon’s cooking in the trash while looking him dead in the eye 💀💀💀”

Satan:

-Your attitude towards DevilDom and demons in general kept him entertained, if nothing else

-You rarely seemed to consider how much of a threat that place really is and usually you were just running around, completely ignoring Lucifer’s rules and doing your own thing

-Which, you know, he’s all about

-I can’t say there were no incidents between the two of you

-With his short temper and your tendency to say things without caring about the consequences, there were definitely moments when he might’ve snapped on you

-“MC for goodness sake, what happened to my room?”

-“What do you mean?”

-“It’s an absolute mess! I just told you to bring me my spells and curses book, not mow through everything!”

-“It’s not my fault this place is built like a fucking labyrinth. You should be grateful I went to get it for you at all, I almost tripped and died several times on my way back. Also, you should get a new ladder for your shelves. It did the broken.”

-“MC….”

-“Yes?”

-“You are so lucky I love you.”

-Other than the fact his anger takes over him when things like these happen, he not so subtly encourages you to keep going because seeing Lucifer scowl at your antics gets him wheezing his lungs out

-I like to think Satan would be very impressed, even in the beginning, at the amount of nonchalance you can radiate at times

-I mean, you sure as hell don’t see it often and he loves how unpredictable you are more often than not

-If anything, he should probably thank you-idk how, but his patience has increased significantly every since you got here and he appreciates having some more control of his emotions

-“I’m gonna go put oil in Lucifer’s shoes.”

-“Do you have a death wish?”

-“Satan, I am old enough to make my own decisions and I concluded that this action is necessary.”

-“Necessary for what?”

-“Raising everyone’s morale! All of you seemed to feel down lately so I thought this would be fun for everybody!”

-“Except Lucifer, right?”

-“Except Lucifer. He grounded me from my D.D.D like I’m a fucking teenager who needs to be supervised-pssshht, I’m the most responsible one here.”

-“Yes clearly.”

-“Goodbye dear Satan, I may die today. But it’s for the greater good! (Dramatic exit with sound effects)”

-“WAIT MC!”

-“(pops head back in) yes?”

-“May I offer you my assistance?”

-You’re basically taking turns pranking his brothers and it’s hilarious

-Satan is not too worried about your well being simply because he knows his siblings and him are always going to be nearby to save you if you pull something stupid again

-Even so, he checks up on you throughout the day; just to make sure

-“Where were you?”

-“Running from a bunch of demons. Who wanted to go munchy crunchy on me, I assume.”

-“……”

-“Either that or people here are a lot friendlier than originally expected.”

-You can be such a handful and it really tests him, especially when he’s angry enough to begin with

-But despite your amazing talent at either getting completely lost around Hell, purposely walking into a prohibited place just because you felt like it or riling up others with how blunt you are, he still cares about you deeply

-You may be a pain the ass, but you’re his pain in the ass <3

Asmo:

-He should’ve known something was up with this particular human when you stood there, completely calm and collected, while Beel salivated at the thought of eating you on your first day

-Asmo just brushed it off for a while but it kept happening???

-The first time Lucifer ever told you off, you really went and said “Or what? Are you going to eat me? If so, you can go ahead and start with-“

-He came to your rescue and covered your mouth before you got to finish and before Lucifer unleashed his wrath on to everyone in that house

-“OOPSIE! I think MC has been spending too much time with me. Sorry Lucifer, we gotta run now! We have a party to attend, don’t we MC darling?”

-“You mean the one hosted by the guy that tried to kill me because I shoved into him on the hallway at school and then proceeded to tell him to go fuck himself right back into whatever hell hole he was born in before you came and charmed our way out of it?”

-“Yes.”

-“Ah OK. “

-You’re tiring for sure but you’re not exactly unlikeable

-You have a certain charm hanging about you that Asmo loves

-“I almost died like…30 minutes ago.”

-“WAIT WHAT?? WHY?? WHAT HAPPENED-MC ARE YOU OK???”

-“Yeah, I almost drank some poison today because someone told me it was water. It smelt off though so I didn’t.”

-“….”

-“Anyway, I got you this bracelet on my way home.”

-He really does wish you would take things a bit more seriously

-This is your life on the line, you know? What would he do if you died?

-“MC, you’re not immortal, you can die so much more easily than I can, you know that right???”

-“I don’t care.”

-“Well I do! And you should too….”

-A lot of people don’t see past his vanity tbh, because he can be such a caring person towards the people he loves

-The amount of videos he has of you appearing to be completely calm while pure chaos is descending in the background is pretty impressive

-Every time he uses his charm on you to try and get you to commit his sin, it just doesn’t work???? For some reason???? And even if it’s just with simple, innocent affection for now, he is determined to tempt you into it

-“MC~gimme a hug!”

-“But that’s social interaction and I don’t support it- do you have a charger for my D.D.D by any chance?

-Or at least die trying to ig

-Asmo loves having you around but you’re giving him wrinkles and that’s not okay >:(

Beel:

-The moment he realised how carefree you actually were, he sort of started checking up with you quite frequently throughout the day

-It’s his way of protecting you but if he could, he would follow you around all the time

-Becomes your body guard because you may not care enough about your safety but he certainly does so get ready to be carried everywhere

-You will not get hurt nor will anyone mess with you if he has a say in it and let me tell you, he does

-Thing is, his brothers mostly know him for being slightly dense in some aspects of day to day life

-He’s not perceptive of things that don’t involve food or his loved ones

-And because you most definitely are a loved one of his, he does notice how careless you are really often

-And it scares, rather worries, him because DevilDom is an incredibly dangerous place-even with all the precautions they had taken when you came

-“MC get down, you could fall.”

-“But Beel, look-I’m finally taller than everyone else! Taller than you even! Hey, should I do a backflip?”

-He has no idea why you thought jumping from 60 meter high cliff into a small river of squashed demon blood was a good idea but he wasn’t going to risk anything just because you felt like showing off your diving skills

-Proceeds to carry you away, completely unfazed

-In this case, I feel like Beel is not someone who gets bothered by the horrible things happening around there either

-As long as he has food and his family is safe and happy then he’s also happy, as mentioned above

-But he knows he’s alright with DevilDom because he’s been living here for centuries now

-A bit curious as to why you’re so unbothered

-And even more curious as to why you weren’t terrified of him transforming in his demon form after he lost control when he found out you ate his pudding

-Or more like Mammon did and pushed the blame on you

-“YOU. ATE. MY. PUDDING!”

-“Beel I love you but if you did not just see Mammon shoving the damn container in my mouth two seconds prior to this, then you might need glasses.”

-He apologised to you later for it but even so, you didn’t seem to mind like at all and he didn’t really understand why

-Unless you end up explaining why exactly you feel so indifferent about your life being in potential danger, he won’t really pry

-But now he has even more reason to follow you around like a lost puppy

-Since it’s clear you don’t really care about protecting yourself

-So now it’s his job to do it

-MC protection squad? Mostly Beel and Mammon

-ahhh he cute

Belphie:

-Oh

-You piss him off so much

-He’s trying to have his moment, you know?

-Finally getting that glimmer of satisfaction after killing a human as a way to avenge his sister’s death

-Trying his hardest to make it as miserable as possible because he has so much rage in him, he needs you to suffer

-“Harder Daddy-“

-“Oh fuck off.”

-Nah but for real, what the fuck MC

-Why does he even bother, he feels like he should be sleeping instead of dealing with your bullshit

-Even afterwards, when your future self shows up and he tries to kill you again, you look more thoughtful than irritated???

-Lucifer and Beel are literally holding him back from doing another Chocky on you and you’re standing there, looking at him with your eyebrows raised

-“Hey Belphie, I have a quick question. I know you’re trying to kill me and everything but do you like the colour blue?”

-“HUH??!?!”

-“It’s a simple yes or no question Belphie. Do. You. Like. Blue?”

-“WHAT DOES IT MATTER???!!!”

-“BELPHAGOUR, AVATAR OF SLOTH-YES OR NO, JUST FUCKING ANSWER!”

-“YES! FUCK YOU!”

-“Ah ok thanks. I like blue too :)”

-????????????

-Pls he felt like sticking his foot down your throat

-As of late, he’s kind of glad he didn’t manage to scare you away that day and that he didn’t traumatise you or something

-At the time, he was mad because he didn’t understand why you weren’t scared but now he just wants to make it up to you

-“You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry MC, I won’t blame you if you decide to stay away from me now.”

-“Stfu dipshit, what’s gotten you so depressed? Did you have another fight with Beel? I told you not to eat the last slice of cake.”

-“Rude ass, I was trying to apologise for my past mistakes-let me repent will you?”

-“Said no demon ever. Now let’s go hang out you emo bitch.”

-Y’all vibe together on a spiritual level once that shit gets sorted out

-But he’s kinda scared you might pull out a knife on him ngl

-Obviously, you’re still annoying as fuck with that indifferent attitude of yours but he can live with it

-He appreciates the fact that you’re not scared of him, even after what he’s done

Diavolo:

-Ah yes, the future King of DevilDom himself

-He’s very enthusiastic about the idea of you having fun this year…..and to keep you alive….

-He, of course, expected a range of reactions from you when he first summoned you here

-None of which were “Ok but could you not have given me a heads up? Before the whole teleportation thing? I face-planted your onto marvellously polished the floor and now I think I lost even more brain cells than before.”

-He felt so bad gagajajahahwgehhsb

-He apologised for bringing you out here without any warning like that and then proceeded to introduce you to everyone

-Diavolo is actually kind of relieved to see you’re handling everything pretty well

-He thought that maybe DevilDom was too much for a human to deal with

-Meeting Barbatos also went incredibly smooth

-“Barbatos? The one that cleans the floors right? Big fan of your work, I could eat off the floor of the main hall.”

-He’s so glad to see you getting along with everyone and not getting intimidated by the brothers

-It gets him excited thinking about how the exchange program is gonna work and all three realms will be united

-But he’s not stupid so don’t think he’ll allow you to stumble around, getting up to all sorts of mischief

-He always has someone watching you because he would hate to see you die, despite being pretty fond of your carefree attitude

-“MC, please be careful. Most demons here aren’t all that nice.”

-“Aye aye Captain.”

-He fears that many demons would take your indifference as a challenge and try to assert dominance or something by kidnapping you

-As far as creatures of hell go, they love installing fear in people

-So he always keeps an extra eye open for you

-And he’ll be there to help you if something goes wrong

-But other than that, he’s pretty chill as well and he finds you so hilarious, it’s been a while since he’s seen someone as eccentric and dramatic as Mammon and Asmo

-Idk what else to add here, Diavolo is very accepting and as long as you don’t get hurt, he’s glad you can get used to your new surroundings so easily

———————————-

Al~

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stellocchia · 4 years ago

Text

This is part 4 of the Comprehensive Analysis of c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship during the Exile Arc

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

We’re here once more just to suffer... though be fair I did decide to do this to myself, so I can’t really complain there...

As always under the cut we will be exclusively be talking about the characters unless stated otherwise and we will be talking about some serious topics, so keep that in mind

We’re starting this off with the infamous Beach Party stream: Tommy Is Left ALONE at his Exile Party with Dream

Now, quick introduction to this vod, since we find out about some details later on: no-one, aside from Dream, shows up because Dream destroyed the invitations and also Ghostbur won’t be around any longer because Dream sent him away (knowing fully well that that could have killed him since he already heard directly from Ghostbur that rain melted him).

Basically at this point Dream is taking a step further into the manipulation process by not only making everyone else believe that Tommy didn’t want to see them but by also physically ensure they’d believe that. Also Tommy doesn’t start this one drowning either (perhaps because he was in high spirits the day prior?)

*creeper blows up* “Shit shit shit shit (...) I’m stupid I’m stupid I deserve that I deserve that. No no no no I didn’t I didn’t, today is gonna be a good day, today is gonna be a big day” (first response to anything negative has become taking on the blame, which we see later on with the Community House situation)

“Will Tubbo be there? Maybe! Myabe he will! Maybe he will!” (Tommy still very much missing his best friend)

“He [Tubbo] did boot me out... no no! you know what? I’m in the mood to reconcile!” (a big trait of Tommy’s has always been his loyalty to people, no matter how much they hurt him)

“It was definitely 8 pm GMT, 8 pm G-” *Dream joins the game* *Tommy pauses for a few moments on the Nether bridge completely still and then turns back* (I want to point out that the reaction any time Dream joined was one of absolute fear, for good reasons of course)

One thing that I’ve noticed is that Dream rarely comes from the Nether when visiting Tommy, opting instead for the objectively longer route through the water, which honestly seems to reinforce something he said early on, which was basically that even with the longer route it doesn’t take much effort to visit, and yet Dream is the only one willing to make that effort.

“Hello!” “H-hello?” “Hi!” “Hi ho-” “Where is everyone else?” “Oh... I don’t- I don’t know...” “I’m running a little late, I’m sorry”

Considering that we know that Dream was in fact the one who sabotaged the invites, therefore meaning he knew fully well that nobody would be there, does the fact that he came late seem like he really wanted Tommy to stew in his own loneliness for a while to anyone else? You know, to properly break his spirit. Also Tommy immediately after this goes to take off his armour (Tommy Slippers included) and weapons, but this is the one time Dream lets him keep it (which, once again, he’ll use as a point against him later on).

“Wilbur sent out the invites, didn’t he?” “Yeah, yeah no he sent them to everybody. He actually told Tubbo to his- like, he told him, he didn’t even need to give him an invite” “Really?!” “Yeah” (just want to point out that this is in fact not gaslighting, as some people seemed to think at the time, but it is still manipulation)

“I’m sure they said they’d be here by the day-” *watching the sun go down* “Time...” “I- I thought I was late so I’m surprised people aren’t here, but...” (turns out Dream was around 15 minutes late supposedly)

Tommy at this point takes out the cake, but he doesn’t eat any. I do think this is a good time to point out that the further we are into the exile the less we actually see Tommy eating (sometimes he straight up throws away any food he has in the inventory). He also sleeps less and less (or, at least, rests less, after all sleeping doesn’t necessarily mean being well rested afterwards) which we can deduce both from his comments on the subject and his rapidly deteriorating state.

“Dream, no-one’s here” “I don’t know why... guess I’m most surprised Tubbo isn’t ‘cause he said he was gonna be, but-” (once again harping on to the retoric that Tubbo specifically willingly abandoned Tommy)

“I figured, I mean I figured you’d probably care the least if I was here so I just- I didn’t mind being a little bit late because everyone else would be here, but...” (once again the idea here is: “even if I was late I still came, no-one else did”)

“No-one cares about me anymore!” “That’s not true...” “No-one cares about me!” *Tommy takes his armour off again* “Tommy...” “No-one cares- no-one cares about me!” *Tommy destroys the rest of the cake* “No no no *sigh*” “No-one cares, do they? No-one showed up to my party... and it was the one thing, THE ONE THING they had to do for me after exiling me and fucking me over and not one of them came with me. And... none of them care about me anymore... ‘cause I’m not in L’manburg anymore, ‘cause I’m not with- ‘cause I’m not the vice-president”

Okay, that was a long quote, but 2 things I want to point out here: Tommy had about half of his health here, he refused to eat, take of his armour and marched towards the Nether, which is again him acting with no regard for his own self-preservation. And also there is a bit of Wilbur retoric sprinkled in there, with the whole “people only care about you when you have power” mentality. That’s exactly what Wilbur tried to convince him of in the Pogtopia era and it looks like he’s seeing a confirmation of this through the party.

“If no-one is gonna put in any effort to come and see me, than I’ll make the effort harder to come and see me then, alright?”

At this point Tommy has borrowed Dream’s netherite pickaxe and he proceeds to destroy a chunk of the bridge he’s made in the Nether, swapping it out for a one block wide wooden bridge. Of course, it goes without saying that he is not acting rationally, he is hurt and angry at the moment and he wants to convince himself that if others don’t care about him then he won’t care about them, which is why he starts lashing out more after this. And this is the result of Dream’s direct actions by the way.

“What is everyone saying about Tubbo’s compass? What is that? What is it? Explain to me” “I- uh I’m pretty sure that he burned it or something... or he lost it, something like that” “Wha...?” “He doesn’t have it anymore”

Tommy, up until now, didn’t even fully believed that Tubbo had a compass, but with the official confirmation of it being paired with Tubbo possibly willingly burn it, it’s the last straw for Tommy who decides to do the same. Though he doesn’t end up actually burning it, he does goes to take it out of the enderchest and bring it to the Nether. I do want to point out that Tubbo did not, in fact, either loose it or burn it willingly. It was blown up by accident in a creeper explosion.

*Tommy holding his compass over a sea of lava* “He burnt it? On purpose?” “I- I think so” “You know what, wou know what? Y- you know what?!” “Why don’t you- why don’t you sleep on it Tommy? Just wait don’t do anything, you know? Anything you can’t take back and then...” “I don’t sleep anymore Dream...”

Pretty sad scene... also a confirmation of what we said before about Tommy sleeping less and less. Also I’m not entirely sure why Dream was suddenly against Tommy burning the compass when he didn’t seem to be at the start, though it could be because Tommy was so obviously hesitant about it, so he probably wouldn’t have done it either way. Which means that it was a good moment to get friendship points.

*Tommy standing in front of the portal in the main Nether hub* “I just want to go home... please can I go home...?” “Uhm, do you wanna see the Christmas tree for, like, 10 seconds?” “Can I stay?” “You can’t stay, but you can go look at it, I’ll let you out-” “Why can’t I stay?” “It’s not like they want you anyway Tommy” “wha...?” “Tommy, no-one showed up to your party and everyone was invited. Do you want to see the Christmas tree?” “I’ll just go back...”

This is the one single scene that is capable of making me emotional every single time. Just Tommy’s broken and small voice throughout it is something else... also Dream’s absolutely smug tone in all of it. But, the one thing, aside from the great acting, that I want to point out in all of this is how the reason for why Tommy can’t go back now has shifted from Dream killing him if he does to his old friends not wanting him around any longer. This way Dream gets to fully play the part of the magnanimous friend who still cares while everyone else is depicted as the enemy. Also I do find it interesting that in this scene Dream keeps insisting quite a bit for Tommy to go see the tree (in contrast to the first time where he refused for him to go back even for a few seconds), which almost looks like him testing how effective his conditioning was.

“That guy is gonna kill me, the little guy” *pointing at a baby piglin* “Oh” *Dream proceeds to get rid of it* (Tommy is by now basically dependent on Dream for his own safety)

“Do you need food?” “*sigh* No” (Tommy is literally on 3 hearts with 3 1/2 hunger bars and he is still refusing to eat)

They spend quite a bit of time after this by playing with Dream’s riptide trident and later also with the throwing one. Also Tommy changes his “girlfriend” hot girl for HOTTER girl (because I know you all deeply care for this kind of updates)

“I actually didn’t have a trident before and it took forever to come here, so I got a trident to come here quickly” “Oh thank you! You obviously care about me Dream” (Tommy feeling compelled to thank Dream for literally anything paired with Dream constantly showing off how much effort he is willing to put in)

“Let’s make a guest tent, let’s make a guest tent!” “That’s a... great idea” “In case any guest wanna- I mean maybe even- maybe you- we’ll make it here. It- it needs to be close to me because I’m- I’m really missing contact” (on top of everything else, Tommy was also canonically touch starved)

Dream and Tommy also make a guest tent together (and it’s implied a few times that maybe Dream will use it) before playing with tridents a bit more when it starts raining. Also Tommy builds a cobblestone smartphone were he keeps snapchat streaks with girls (this goes in the list of sentences I never thought I’d type).

“Hey thanks for letting me keep my armour today” “You’re welcome” “It was nice of you” “I just thought it’d be good for the party and everything” “I’m sorry it wasn’t that much of a party in the end” “Eh, we make it a party together, so” “Yeah”

So, once more I want to point out a couple of things: there is no reason, aside from Dream’s conditioning, for Tommy to feel grateful that Dream didn’t take away his means to defend himself, nor is there any reason for Tommy to be the one apologizing for the party turning out the way it did. But also one other thing I want to point out is Dream’s insistence over them having fun together, which he keeps saying even later on during the prison visits. And I want to point that out because I do really think that Dream believes that or that he, at the very least, does try to convince himself of it. I’m still not entirely sure on that point, but, by now, I’m fairly sure that Dream really does believe that him and Tommy are his warped and toxic version of what “friends” would be...

“I should have died and then- and then I didn’t! I should have died...” (suicidal thoughts)

*Tommy reaching the maximum height with the trident* “I’m alone...” (just a very famous scene here, but also keeping to the theme of loneliness even when other people are around, in this case Dream)

“Just- just build a guest tent Dream! You’re probably gonna be the one who stays in the most so... since you’re my guest”

*Dream standing inside the guest tent* “I’m in- I’m in my tent my tent” (the implications I mentioned before)

“Maybe I’m just gonna stay here, maybe I’m just gonna live here instead” (referring always to the guest tent and Logstedshire)

This all ends with Dream gifting Tommy the throwing trident (which he then puts in his enderchest) and Tommy also gains a zombie head from their mob hunting.

“Let me keep the other trident please” “What the one that you can throw?” “Yeah” “Okay Tommy, I’ll let you keep it” “Really?” “Yeah, as a gift, a beach party gift. You can remember our bonding experience from today” “Awww, thank you” (this is the conversation as a frame of reference)

“Listen Dream, what do we do now, then? If no-one is gonna come and visit me, what do I do?” “Nah, I’m visiting you!” (Dream really is convinced to me as much the center of Tommy’s universe as he is of his, huh?)

“Dream, as much as I’m feeling happy, I’m not. I’m not Dream. Where do we go from here?” “Uhm, I think that you will come around to liking it here, and you’ll build up your own ‘empire’ here, and you’ll be happy and maybe they’ll come and visit you- like you said! You said the thing about all, like, power right? You have no power and now they don’t visit you, maybe you’ll be- you’ll be back in power and then they’ll...” “I’ll always be exiled” “Yeah but that doesn’t mean you can’t become powerful, you can become powerful away from- away from them”

This is the closing conversation, that ends with Tommy entering the sea and disconnecting once he is on only one bubble of air left. Which, by the way, is a case of Tommy dissociating, which we know because he always later seems confused when logging in and finding himself in the water (meaning the confrontation with Jack at the hotel wasn’t the first case of him dissociating).

Also, while Dream is spewing all of this stuff about how “Tommy can still be powerful here” it’s obvious that that’s not the case. Tommy is not allowed armour or weapons and he is basically not allowed any allies (what with Dream sending Ghostbur away, intercepting Ranboo’s mail and making sure to keep away from Tommy as much as possible). Tommy is quite literally stuck in a position of powerlessness that he cannot escape from with someone who actually enjoys having him at his weakest.

I’ll leave it here for today, because this was literally one of the most intense streams so I had quite a lot to say and this became so damn long... I’ll probably condense the next two together.

#dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #dream smp #character analysis #relationship analysis #tw abuse #tw suicide #tw manipulation #exile arc #c!dream #long post #my post #this seriously came out really fucking long #oh well #pretty sure you guys are used to that from me by now!

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vydante · 4 years ago

Text

Restart | END | Avengers x Male! Reader

I am discontinuing my Restart series because I've simply lost creative juices for it. That's it, no elaborate or other reason. Anyways, I didn't want to just end it on the last chapter, and as someone who loves to overshare (especially if it's unsolicited), I thought some might like to see what drafts I had in plan, going chapter by chapter.

It goes up to Ch. 20 with additional bonus chapters, and chapters where I wasn't sure where they were going to be placed in the timeline.

If you have any comments, let me know! I'd love to read them :)

Here goes! Warning: very long, since the formatting is weird! The reader will be referred to as (Name) and "you", as in the story.

Right after Ch. 12 (Circumvention), are 2 special chapters (High Caliber Bullet) & (America's Sweethearts).

(High Caliber Bullet)'s basic plot was that Barnes, now # amount of weeks since the last chapter, has gained some freedoms and can now go out and about with either (Name) or DAHLIA for supervision (via his phone, and through the cameras everywhere).

In this particular chapter, he basically goes out for a typical grocery run with DAHLIA "accompanying" him, since before, he remembers (Name) telling him that "I won't always be there with you". But something bad happens! Wooo! (Maybe an attempted robbery, I didn't have the details sorted out yet.)

Either way, DAHLIA loses contact with him, and she tries to contact you ASAP, but it takes a little while since your dumbass was asleep the whole time! Wow! The suit had to manually power on and shake you awake.

Anyways, the only thing I had "written down" after that was that, after a failed search attempt for James, you go back home and are greeted with a surprise... "Kabedon"? Or, you're pinned to the walls by James... Or, rather, the Winter Soldier!

You're not sure what's going on, only that, "Wow, Barnes is acting weird. Why is he suddenly Russian? Wh- Okay, wow, he's suddenly gotten a lot closer. Now, wait a fuckin' minute-!"

Either way, you and James make a discovery of a second personality living inside his body- the Soldier! Or Winter, I'm still unsure which I would have gone for. If you're familiar with certain WinterIron tropes, this is one of them. Anyways, that's the end of that chapter, or what I had written so far, anyway.

This chapter is really important to the canon of Restart since it establishes Soldier, but it didn't fit into my initial plans of 10 chapters an arc, so. That's why it's a "special" chapter.

The next "special" chapter after that was (America's Sweethearts). I had written 2 "chunks" of text for this chapter. The main plot is, basically, you and Steve spent a platonic (promise!) Valentine's Day together. Hence the title. Cute, right? This was referenced in Ch. 9 (Revelation) during Future! Steve's reminiscing.

Anyways, below the next text is what I had written for that chapter. It will be in normal text.

No other thoughts on that, so let's move on.

"You live like this?"

In his defense, Steve's apartment wasn't messy in the slightest. In fact, it was the other way around- everything was too clean, too pristine, too detached. The only saving grace he's getting from standing in the middle of his apartment is the fact that compared to the chilly Brooklyn weather, it was almost obnoxiously warm in his apartment.

Not only did he have the heater going on, but he had another separate, portable heater blasting hot air in the corner.

(Sometimes, and only sometimes, Steve will stand in front of the heater and slowly spin around like a rotisserie chicken. The heat feels good, in his defense.)

The heat was something that you, thankfully, didn't comment on as you shed your jacket and slung it around the coat hanger near the door. You're wearing an over-sized tee- Thor's tee, he absentmindedly notes- and some sweats, both like and unlike the (Name) he often sees.

(It's not uncommon for Steve to glance at a newspaper or TV still shot and see you with your hair slicked back and dressed head to toe in a suit so expensive he's confident it costs at least a few years' worths of a typical New Yorker's rent.

Neither is uncommon to see you on the front cover of Men's Magazine, wearing a simple tee that shouldn't look that good on you but still does and posing confidently for the camera.

But despite all that, all of the clearly flattering outfits you could possibly wear at the tips of your fingers, often Steve will see you wear a disparagingly obnoxious, dirty shirt, and an old pair of sweats as your go-to outfit.)

(No, he will never admit that he really likes seeing you like that. Even with the mysterious smudged substance often found on the bottom of your sweats, as if you had swing danced in mud and crude oil.)

Regardless, while he often questions your private life fashion choices (and this is coming from a man who willingly wears khakis), he at least knows why you're wearing what you are, given the fact that he's also dressed in an overused tee and some joggers.

"What's wrong with my apartment? Not up to par with your penthouse standards?" Steve jests.

"Steve. Please." You threw him an unimpressed glare, much to Steve's never-ending amusement.

You glanced back to the inside of the apartment and squinted at it with what Steve could only describe as a rich man's scrutinizing gaze, before shrugging nonchalantly. You strolled into his apartment with a confidence Steve can still never get used to, one that reminds him so much of Tony's, and even Howard on his bad days.

(He understands why Tony doesn't like it when he brings Howard up, as he belatedly realizes that Howard didn't die the same man he knew him as, but he never understood why you've suddenly gotten bitter about Howard as well.)

He follows you into the hallway, and if it weren't for the fact that this was his apartment, he would've looked like a lost puppy following its new owner.

His apartment's not really that big, so it doesn't take long before you've both reached the living room. A simple TV, simple couch, simple table. Nothing really exciting in his living room, but it serves its purposes, in Steve's opinion.

(This is the end of that chunk. Next is where I picked up in writing. Short time skip, they both fall asleep and now Steve's waking up.)

It was the change in the smell that woke him up.

It's always the scent of fresh linen that greeted him early in the morning, something that's become so attuned to his everyday life. So when, instead, popcorn and sweets drifts his way, for a brief second his heart rate jumps.

'What?', his mind asks as he opens his eyes, bleary but cautious.

'Oh,' his mind responds back at him when his eyes drift down to your sleeping form laying splayed right on top of him, body glued to his side. You're mainly hogging the blanket, but he doesn't really mind as he runs hot 24/7.

'Oh', his mind repeats softly, as something deep unfurls from his stomach and rises to his throat, clenching up and unable to say anything as his eyes fixate themselves on your steady breathing. Your lips are too close to his neck, each breath too warm, even for him. His skin burns where it meets yours, and absently he thinks, 'this is nice'.

'Yeah,' he lifts his hand to brush away a strand of hair away from your eyes, 'This is nice.'

Steve blearily throws a glance at the clock on his nightstand. 4 more minutes until he'd typically wake up and start his day with a morning jog.

'No,' his body protests.

'Okay,' his mind agrees without a fight.

He carefully reaches over and presses the silence button on his alarm. Above him, a breathy exhale escapes your lips at the sudden movement, and if possible, you curl closer to him than you were before. He pauses, unsure if you're going to wake up or not, but relax when he realizes that you're still in a deep slumber.

(Another break. Next sentence was supposed to be the final sentence of the chapter.)

In the end, neither of you commented about how Steve had missed his daily morning run as his limbs were straddled in between yours.

Ch. 13 (Upheaval) and 14 (Airlocked) are short in terms of drafting, so I'll combine them into one section here. Ch. 13 (Upheaval) was about taking down SHIELDRA in a better manner than the mess that was CA:TWS. And (Name) also forces Steve and Natasha to fess up immediately about Tony's parent's murderer. ((Name) threatens them.)

As for Ch. 14 (Airlocked), it's pretty much a filler chapter of sorts. (Name) graduates, there's now an official class-action lawsuit against Ross, also now keeping an eye on Baron Zemo, and we see some progression on Barne's therapy session. Not much, but some.

I really was not looking forward to these two chapters, as I knew they were gonna be boring as hell.

Ch. 15 (Spiralling) has actual written chunks. It's basically about the early prevention of Ultron. The Avengers go to a Sokovian HYDRA base, take out baddies, and the Super Twins get captured first- wow! But not before Wanda does... something to (Name), causing you to hallucinate and lose contact with the team- uh oh!

But don't worry! You get run over by a car. Lol. Below is what I had written for it, sans minor text.

A/N: In Ch. 7 (Summer), there was a 'dream-sequence' that happened where (Name) was on Titan with Tony, Peter, Stephen, and the GOTG. I've now decided that in canon, (Name) was not on Titan- instead, you were on Earth instead during IW helping at Wakanda. Just a brief plot-hole wrap-up; let's imply that (Name) had watched video footage of the fight at Titan via Tony's suit afterward, and that's where the nightmare came from. Okay bye.

(VERY abrupt start into the story, not meant to be the start of the chapter in the final draft, just where I wanted to start writing. Intro to Wanda.)

You jerked your head, catching a glimpse of brunette hair in the corner of your eyes. You swung your gauntlet instinctively and made instant contact with whatever was next to you. Flutters of red wisps followed your eyes, and you instantly knew what just happened as a body dropped next to you.

You grunted and leaned onto the nearest wall, watching the girl's limp body with caution. Your shoulder plate lifted, and a tranquilizing dart connected to her thigh.

Just in case.

"Guys, I- I've been- ugh..." You wanted to vomit, the pounding in your head worsening with each millisecond that passes. Already, your surroundings distort you with each blink, walls melting and the floor sinking in on itself. "I've been- com-," you swallowed back your bile, "-compromised... Sending- location... Ergh..."

You didn't even have enough time to hear a response before the whole world around you shifted. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to calm your thundering heartbeat. The pounding got worse as the armor around you dissipated into nothing but the under-suit you were wearing. Before, where there were the shouting and gunshots, is now replaced with an eerie silence filled with just your laborious breathing.

You didn't know the full extent of what visions you were about to see, but you needed to remember that none of this is real. Scientifically, that was your only safe haven from possibly losing your mind for what's about to come. And it was worse because you had no idea what visions you'd see. Would you see Thanos? The Chitauri, just like your father once had? Or would it be something more close to home; the bunker? Tony's dead body, splayed with vomit around him, frostbitten to the touch and still like a marbled statue?

Ready to go up and arms at whatever it was you're about to see, you cautiously opened your eyes.

(Line break, there's meant to be an "oh shit" line, like "Only, you were met with eyes far too similar to yours." but I still didn't know what I wanted to do for the hallucination sequence. Maybe meeting an older you, a younger you, or your dream life without the Avengers or meta-humans.)

(Below is an abrupt shift in the story; same general setting, but outside POV! What I had was dialogue only, alternating between people in bold, as a POV switch.)

(Name) "Guys, I- I've been- ugh... I've been- com-compromised... Sending- location... Ergh..."

(Steve) "Apex, do you copy? (Name)!"

(Steve) "Shit, (Name) isn't answering! Tony!"

(Tony) "Got his location, he's inside the base. J.A.R.V.I.S., what's his status?"

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I'm sorry, Sir, but it appears that I am not in contact with his suit."

(Tony) "Wha- the hell do you mean you're not in contact?!"

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I cannot connect to his suit; it appears that Young Sir has somehow deprogrammed me from his suit."

(Tony) "Wha-!"

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "However, it seems as if there is an A.I. present nonetheless. Though..."

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "I do not recognize the code. Would you like me to attempt at forming a mode of communication?"

(Tony) "Yeah, just- God, make sure (Name)'s okay, please."

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "On it."

(J.A.R.V.I.S.) "Establishing a connection."

(DAHLIA) "Mister Stark?"

(Tony) "Wha- I'm sorry- who are you?"

(DAHLIA), ignoring Tony, "An enhanced got to (Name). The operative is down, but (Name)'s experiencing hallucinations. I can't get through to him- you need to get to him, now. I fear he may hurt himself more than he already has."

(DAHLIA) "And if I may be privy to a request?"

(Tony) "What?"

(DAHLIA) "Don't bring Rogers." (I don't remember why I wrote this bit.)

(Steve) "Any updates on (Name)?"

(Tony) "Yep, and by the looks of it," there was a loud boom coming from the base, and as Tony looked up to see an all too familiar suit fly out of the building. Or, rather, flying was an interesting way to put it- it was more of a free-falling more than anything else.

(Steve) "What was that?"

(Tony) "That was (Name), and he's not havin' a great time I'll tell you that."

His voice was light and joking, but he'd be lying if he didn't say that his heart wasn't in his throat by the sight of you flying out of the building and falling back into the forests.

(Line break, another POV switch)

Steve sprinted towards the loud boom, movements quick and calculated, but mind racing a thousand miles an hour. He saw a red and gold glint fly up above him, zipping in and out between trees gracefully.

(Line break, but no switch, same place. Another story POV shift, sort of. Steve makes contact with (Name), or so he thinks.)

"(Name)? Hey, do you copy?"

The suit was eerily silent, glowing eyes that once gave comfort to the soldier now bringing nothing but an awful, gripping dread; one that he'd get when there were Nazi soldiers nearby, but he couldn't tell where even with his enhanced senses. The suit gave away nothing that usually screamed out everything that was you- no head swaying, no restless and constantly shifting feet, only a stillness that looked so unnatural. Almost as if there was no one in there.

"(Name)?"

There was no response from you.

The hairs on Steve's neck stood up, everything in his system suddenly screaming to get out of there, run, leave, get away from the suit, but he ignored it as he took a cautious step forward.

Again, you didn't seem to react.

Then, the suit took a step forward.

Then another one.

And another one.

"(Name)-"

Before he could say anything more, the suit lunged forward. Only for a moment could Steve react, but even he wasn't as fast as you could be when you're in the suit. He raised his shield, ready to be shot at, but only the sound of harsh metal on metal makes it to his ears. By the sounds of it, it sounded like Tony had managed to land a direct hit on you, from wherever position he was at. Cautiously, Steve lowers his shield to look.

But instead of the familiar red and gold suit of armor greeting him, it's the sight of two (color) suits wrestling on the ground with each other that manages to sucker-punch all air from his lungs.

(Basically, you went bat shit insane and got out of the older suit, then prematurely activating the nano suit instead, in a fit of panicked hallucination. The older suit, now operating by DAHLIA, was trying to protect Steve from being ambushed by (Name), and now they're wrestling.)

(Another big break, but I think I had a hallucination sequence from (Name)'s POV planned here. Not sure what I was gonna do here since I planned this like, maybe in 2018, early 2019. It's... 2021 now...)

"-(Name)!"

Your eyes widened as the world around you suddenly shifts out of existence, and instead, you're outside in the dim, snowy alps once again. Someone called out to you, you don't know who, but there's a light in the corner of your eyes that's so goddamn bright. You turn your head in the direction of the light, and amidst all of the yelling and gunshots, DAHLIA's cool, chilling voice rings the loudest in your ear.

"Aborting protoc-"

And then the world turned black.

Ch. 16 (Enflamed) also has written text. Basically, you're recovering from being caught slipping by a car, the team is now aware of certain secrets you've been keeping behind their backs, and you realize that you have to get back to Barnes to let him know you're okay.

This chapter was meant to be focused on the twins, but I guess I forgot that as I was "writing" it. Basically, the gist was that their parent's deaths weren't by officially licensed Stark tech (maybe even a counterfeit since Stark weapons are the best, and don't malfunction as it did in WandaVision ep. 8). Maybe HYDRA was the one that did it in order to recruit more people. Or something like that. Basically, Tony wasn't the one who authorized those weapons to be sold and used there, but it was Stane. Either way, they get their own healthy moment to mourn and lament over it all.

Here's the text below. Italics for a dream sequence, since you were unconscious/ in a coma from being bOnked on by a car.

"Hey, sweetheart."

You smile, turning around to face the voice only to be greeted with lips on yours. You chuckle, amused that this was the first thing you'd be greeted with, but lean into the kiss anyways as you wrapped your fingers around their cheek.

They pull back first, but their eyes are warm as they smile, lingering in the space between the two of you. Where their hands laid on your hips, your skin burned bright hot, but you paid no mind to it.

(There's supposed to be more, maybe foreshadowing, but I stopped here in terms of the dream sequence. Jump cut to another POV, but you're waking up!)

(Name) "Hnng..."

(Steve) "Stay down! You're in no condition to move at all, just- just rest, okay? The doctors- and- your dad are coming."

(Steve) "How're you feeling? You want some water?"

You tried to turn your head to look at the blonde but hissed suddenly.

(Name) "S'nnof'a' b'ch..." (Son of a bitch.)

Steve helped you settle back onto your pillow- which even he'll admit doesn't look like the most comfortable setting in the world.

"Language, (Name)..."

He reprimanded, but there's no heat in his words as he's just so thankful that you're even capable of forming any words, no matter how profane they may be.

Beside him, Clint laughs a bit too loud for comfort. Steve wants to tell him to be quiet, as he's sure you're sensitive to noise right now, but God he can't blame the archer for his overwhelming relief.

Lord knows Clint wasn't the only one to stress over their youngest Avenger.

"First words after a damn coma, and it's 'son of a bitch'! I told you he's a fighter!"

"Of course he is, he's a Stark after all."

All eyes turn to see the billionaire and assassin walk into the room. They look clean and pristine as always, but by the slight sheen of sweat on both of them, Steve knew they rushed here as soon as word spread that you were awake.

(Natasha) "Tooting your own horn a little much there?"

Natasha's smile betrays her words as she looks fondly from the senior Stark to the junior. Even the ironclad wall she has up 24/7 has a soft spot for the team's junior member.

(Especially for the junior member, but you didn't hear that from Steve.)

(Tony) "It's both of our horns, excuse you."

Tony turns his attention to you and places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"You sure took a hit back there, champ."

"Mmm... 'm feel like a... Nn... A damn Make A W'sh kid...", (Mm, am feeling like a damn Make A Wish kid...) your eyes, though blown out from still being drugged up, wandered across each Avenger. You frowned, then smirked- well, as best as you could, anyways.

"Where's th' Hul'k? T'or?" (Where's the Hulk? Thor? (As a joke, since usually the whole gang visits, but they're missing))

"Relax junior, you're not that special. We can only afford so many Avengers to visit you."

Despite his harsh words, Tony places a kiss right on your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed, lashes delicately batting as Tony leans away.

(Big block of nothing, there were supposed to be more text here, more dialogue or something. Same setting!)

(Tony) "So. We need to talk about what happened back there. Y'know. The brand-smackin' new A.I. that's in your suit- she's been awfully quiet. Oh, and the- lord, the thing's a work of art- the- what is it? Nanite suit? That's in a collar- a collar? I mean, I'm not one to judge questionable fashion statements, but-"

(Steve, or someone else) "Tony."

(Tony) "Right- but, we are going to talk about all that, okay?"

"L'ter, ple's? Am tir'd..." (Later, please? Am tired.)

"An' b'sides, chok'r's fun..." (And besides, chokers are fun.)

(Line break, basically, you remember you have a certain Winter Soldier that's been sitting at home without any word from you.)

’Oh fuck.’

(Big line break, basically, you get discharged from the hospital, and now you visit the safehouse Barnes is in to check up on him.)

It was eerily quiet when you opened the door to the safe house. You limped into the door, thankful that the ride on the way back, there were no paparazzi to see you leave at all. (Really, Happy should get a raise.) Lord knows how much of a rile that'll get out of the news media.

'Avengers' Golden Boy: Fatally Injured?' or something dumb like that.

You'd love to roll your eyes, but the tension that's coiling up in your gut surpasses the want as you slowly step into the house. It's warm, more so than the slow brewing chill that's been tempering outside. James never liked the cold, but even so, the house was warmer than you remembered. His shoes are still near the doorway, in the exact place that you remembered it to be, so he definitely hasn't gone anywhere.

(Though, the alerts that were on your phone from DAHLIA definitely show that he wanted to.)

For a brief moment, you were concerned that there wasn't enough food; but even then, DAHLIA would still be up, so she could place an online order to refill the fridge at a moment's notice, so it's not like James (even with his super-soldiered appetite) would starve himself here.

You quietly slipped out of your shoes, slowly as to not incur another cramp in your back, and stepped into the hallway barefooted. You glance into each room you pass by, but not a single sign of the soldier was anywhere to be found.

You stopped when you stood in front of one specific lounge room; yours and James' favorite lounge room.

Lurking into the room, you glanced around.

The room looked exactly like how it did days before when you were still conscious. There are a few mugs strewn about. Most empty, conjoined in one area of the table (James' area), but there's one that's filled with your favorite drink. A drink that you don't remember making for yourself.

And it's placed right in front of your favorite chair, too. Something squeezes at your heartstrings as you couldn't help but smile fondly.

It's gone cold, you absently note as you dip a finger into it. Wiping your finger on your pants, you grabbed it and the rest of the empty cups, making a note to place them into the dishwasher when you make it into the kitchen.

"James?"

You called out, but only your voice echoed back. The cups quietly rattled with each step, and it's not long before you make it into the kitchen. It, too, looks the same, but there's a thin layer of dust only a clean freak would notice. The sink is empty and clear of any beads of water. Unused for a little bit, you concluded.

Yeesh.

You placed all of the cups into the dishwasher, which was also dry and empty as well. Sighing, you turned on the machine and jumped out of your skin when you felt a pair of built arms wrap themselves around you tightly.

It only takes a split second for you to realize that, no, this is not some ax murderer that's about to choke the life out of you, it's just James.

James who, apparently, is holding you flush against his chest, fingers curling themselves against your bandaged abdomen. You held back a wince of pain, careful not to make your breathing waver, as James nuzzle his whole head against the crook of your neck.

(Honestly, for someone named the Winter Soldier, he sure is warm because whew, boy-)

"Ja-"

"I thought you were gone."

His name is caught in your throat as James' voice- gritty, deep, unused- rumbles into your skin. You freeze, unsure of what to say to that as you shuddered, suddenly breathless as he mouths at your neck. Your ears turn bright red as he takes that moment to speak up, not once letting up on his fingers ghosting a trail on each muscle on your abdomen.

"You were gone. One second you were in my arms, and the next... The next, DAHLIA's tellin' me you're in a damn coma."

You winced, not sure how to respond to both what he said or the growl that accompanied it. You looked up at the camera that was in a nearby corner and threw it a withering glance, feeling slightly betrayed by DAHLIA for telling James that.

Thankfully (or probably not), James isn't really looking for a response as he continues on.

"Моя звездная пыль (My stardust)," Russian slips out, bringing a chill up your spine as bits of Winter spills out from James' fingertips, "The witch got to you, didn't she?"

Goosebumps raised on your skin, and to your silence, James snarled. You can barely feel his teeth graze on your nape, and you really don't know if you should feel embarrassed or something else.

And wow, okay, maybe you should tell James to ease up on the "hug", because holy shit, his grip's getting tighter and it's starting to actually hurt.

(Ah, he might tear the stitches.)

"HYDRA сукa...! Я убью ее...!" (HYDRA bitch...! I'll kill her...!)

You huffed, still red in the face as he hasn't even nudged away from letting you go. You patted his forearm, signaling for him to loosen up his grip, and to his credit, he does. Barely, but it was still something.

"I dunno what ya' just said in Russian, but I know what Hydra сукa means. No cussing in Russian, only in English."

He mumbles something incoherent into your shoulder, rubbing circles into your stomach with a tantalizingly slow speed. You coughed; in literally any other situation this would be one of the hottest things you've ever experienced, but considering that James was more Winter than James right now, and your stomach is literally burning in pain from the rubbing, you opted to ignore the fact that you really liked that James was this close and spoke up.

"Not to alarm you or anything, but uh, if you keep rubbing my stomach like that," your breath hitched, the pain starting to become a little too much, "I'm gonna pass out from the pain," you said, with clenched teeth.

(End of what I had written down. Anyways, not sure where I was gonna go from here.)

Ch. 17-20 are relatively short in terms of what I had written down.

Ch. 17 (Reconditioning) has 3 things typed down:

integrating the twins, thoughts of integrating bucky

supreme distrust between you and the twins

meanwhile maybe thoughts from twins abt you? you're around their age

3rd bullet introduces the idea that they might be love interests. Maybe. Shrugs. That chapter would be heavier on the character developments of the twins, both as their own persons and their relationship with you, specifically. They don't like you because you're Tony's son, still some bitter feelings there, and you don't like them because... Well... there's just a lot of bad feelings. They helped kill J.A.R.V.I.S. in your original timeline. Wanda basically fucked off with Vision. She antagonized Tony. (And there is a hypocrisy there since I would've written you to have done the same thing there. (Name) isn't perfect.)

You just didn't get along with Pietro since, back when he wasn't dead, you were immature and not yet accustomed to dealing with people who're purposefully frustrating/ teasing/ mocking/ etc. Nothing really personal with him, it's Wanda that you had beef with. But you'll get over it one day.

Ch. 18 (Longstanding) is shorter.

you and james have a talk, and after a year or two being solitary, you agree that he should be in the avengers

he joins the avengers

That's it, that's the chapter.

Ch. 19 (Accountability) deals with newer Accords (not a Sokovian one! Just from the proposed need for accountability).

It goes better around this time, as basically all of the Avengers agree to it, with their own caveats of course. Steve especially, but of course, he's willing to work with the governments about it this time around. Also, Peter Parker gets introduced, in accordance with the "underaged enhanced/ superheroes" clause, or some bull like that.

Ch. 20 (Wakanda) is basically the intro to CA:CW but like, civilized. No bombing since Zemo still has his family. Introduces Wakanda, and T'Challa as a potential love interest. If you're interested in IronPanther, I highly recommend reading the IronPanther Collection by Okyverlo on AO3. It's great and got me a lot of interest in T'Challa as a love interest.

As for official chapters with the plot, that's about it. I wasn't sure what to do afterward.

There were some loose ideas I had about what would happen to (Name). Maybe the truth is revealed, that you're actually from the future, and Dr. Strange separates past and future you into two separate bodies. Future! you into your original future body, and past! you into the current body. Past! you still have the same memories and thoughts that future! you had, but with less angst. Future! you is noticeably more depressed and just a bummer. Lol.

And after that, 2023! you would go back to the future where you belonged, and Past! you would stay in the present since, duh, that's still Past! you's original timeline. It's a little confusing when I type it down haha.

I was thinking maybe 2023! you would pair up with Steve since you realized how burdensome it is to continue to resent someone. Now you understood what Tony meant.

And Past! you would definitely pair up with James, but maybe Steve too. A nice lil' polygamous relationship.

Now here's the other, non-official chapters.

2 What If's, and 3 Specials, in the order they're listed at the moment.

What If (2013 Counterpart) plays with an initial idea I had, where Past! (Name) was actually sent into the future into 2023! (Name)'s body during the prologue. Not sure where I was gonna go with this chapter, but I really wanted to mess with that possibility, and show just how immature and teenager-y Past! you were.

What If (Swapped Places) plays with the idea that you and Tony, in the original timeline, had swapped places. You were on Titan with Spiderman, Dr. Strange, and the GOTG, while Tony was on Earth with everyone else. That's all I had planned. Maybe you actually won and managed to get the gauntlet off of Thanos when you realized that Peter Quill was about to go crazy over his ex's death, and you knocked him down in time.

Special (Find My Body, Only At The Oak Tree), deals with you and your depression over the reality that you might have to relive the blip again, and aside from the Avengers, you really don't have anyone else and nothing's worth really living for at this point. I actually have a lot written for this one. Not sure if I wanted this to be canon.

Trigger warning: suicidal tendencies.

(Below is the general idea I had for the plot.)

(names) birthdays across the years so far

we see slow mental deterioration of (name) as he aches

we see as we reach closer and closer to the deadline, (name) dreads even thinking about thanos and wants to die before even looking at him, a symbol of their failure

lowkey highkey suicidal

___

The first time you celebrated your 17th birthday was in 2014.

The second time you celebrated your 17th birthday was also in 2014... Obviously.

The first time you celebrated your 17th birthday, the whole tower was flooded with people who you knew and people who you couldn't care to know. It was filled with what little was left of your friend group outside of the Avengers; it was also filled with the rich, the pompous, the irritating of New York.

You got into a yelling match with your dad that night, over something you couldn't even bother to remember, and stormed off into your room, fuming as the party still went on without their birthday boy present.

(It's always like that as if you're replaceable. Surely, you must be; the Avengers can and will, if need be, exist without you.)

The second time you celebrated your 17th birthday, you told your dad you wanted it to be small and personal. Only the Avengers were there, as a few days ago did you spend a pre-birthday celebration with some of your high school 'friends' (which only mainly consisted of playing Smash Bros Brawl in your room and eating an ungodly amount of junk food as you fake laughed along with their shitty jokes.) (Steve promptly made you burn those calories off in training.).

(What Steve doesn't know is that you purposefully ate that much to train with him; otherwise, you had the whole day off the next day.

You didn't want to be alone.)

It was sweet as everyone gave their gifts to you (which you already knew what it was, but said nothing of it), and as everyone got drunk off of the expensive liquor or Asgardian mead, you quietly snuck out of the building and back into the safe house where James was waiting for you.

(He waits, but how much of it is because he has no other choice?

It is not like that, you keep reminding yourself.

Who is to say, other than you?

James never says anything of it, and you start to wonder if he feels as if he has no choice.

As if he feels like he's been made another prisoner, once again.

At what point, what is separating the distinction between you and HYDRA, in his mind?

You're not too keen on finding out the answer anytime soon.)

The whole way there, you thought of nothing in particular.

You quietly celebrated with him too, shared a few slices of cake he made just for you before you quietly said goodnight to him. He kissed you on the cheek, said a simple goodnight, and slipped away into his own bedroom.

Meanwhile, you spent the rest of the night drinking too much alcohol, alone, in the dark of your room, staring at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing in particular.

The next morning, you jokingly wished you had just died last night as you're bent over the toilet emptying your stomach contents.

___

The first time you celebrated your 18th birthday, you spent it outside in another country with your friends.

The second time you celebrated your 18th birthday party, you rented out a bumper kart arena with the Avengers.

The first time you celebrated your 18th birthday, you tried desperately to hang onto the remaining friends you had outside of the Avengers, a chance to feel normal for once. You practically went hiking across Europe and into Asia over the week of your birthday, and by God did you visit so many places. From the Louvre to the casinos in New Deli, you trekked everywhere with your friends and acted as a cash pig for their endeavors under the guise of celebrating your birthday. Least to say, you always got 'accidentally' blackout drunk on multiple occasions, oblivious to their actions.

Later you found out and cut them off instantly without another word. They didn't seem to notice that you stopped talking to them.

It hurt.

Pointless of you to try to maintain that friendship.

So on your next 18th birthday, having long forgone those friendships ages ago, you suggested going bumper karting with the Avengers. Bruce operated as the 'coach' of sorts, but he seemed to have enjoyed it as well.

It was fun, obviously.

It went on for a few hours, as you all had made up mini-games to play along with as they got bored of chasing after each other aimlessly for half an hour. A few games had you pairing up with some of the Avengers; the other had them actually using their skills to try to maim each other.

(Wanda at one point lifted everyone into the air as Pietro zoomed through the rink; though, he did slip and slam into the wall. Everyone laughed, but it was interrupted as Wanda promptly dropped everyone out of shock.

Everyone was too busy in their own shock as well to notice your labored breathes, wild crazed eyes, or how you clawed viciously at your throat at the sight of Wanda's red wisps. Your fingers were tinted a sick vermilion.

Thankfully, the arena was relatively dim, so no one could tell what just happened.)

It was fun. Everyone didn't hold their shoves back, and when things riled up, it turned into who would break a bone first. No one did, but everyone was definitely sore afterward. Of course, the enhanced ones didn't limp as much, but it made your limp nothing out of the ordinary.

(You tried your most damn not to just collapse completely, both exhaustion and pain threatening to snap your spine into little bits and pieces.

You jokingly wished it did.)

Thankfully, during the whole ordeal, no one noticed how you didn't avoid obvious hits, instead opting to just get harshly jostled in your kart and neck snapped haphazardly to the side at the sudden jolt. Or how you 'accidentally' keep forgetting to put on your seat belt or keep your fingers inside the kart.

Or at least, if they noticed, no one said anything as you limped around the tower the next day, bruises marred everywhere on your skin, a sheen of sweat blanketed on your skin throughout the whole day.

___

The first time you celebrated your 19th birthday, you were too swamped with both college and SI to actually... Celebrate.

You didn't even realize it was your birthday. No one did, actually; it took one of your professors to comment on how your name was trending on Twitter to actually get you to realize what the day was.

But even that didn't change your schedule, and as you moved on with your day, so did Twitter and the Avengers.

You never got to celebrate your 19th birthday, too swamped with other things to care.

The second time you celebrated your 19th birthday, you had too much free time in the world.

It ended up being just like your 17th. The Avengers had a little get-together (they remembered this time; what made it so different?) and all of them got drunk wildly off their asses. Once again, you slipped away from the main lounge, and stalked silently, blank-faced, towards a balcony.

You adjusted your collar appropriately and stood there. You stared outside into the bustling busy streets of New York, the city that never sleeps.

(Strange, that it's named that when often times it's the quietest whenever you're there to see it.)

You spend maybe 10 minutes standing there, staring into the oblivion that is New York.

And then, you climbed onto the railings.

Standing there, there was no rush of adrenaline that coursed its way through your veins, nor was there any fear or dread.

Only an overwhelming and crippling exhaustion that made waves through your body. No longer are you in your 19-year-old body, but your 27th. No longer are you in your younger, former self; one that shone brightly above the others, aspiring as both a heroic figure and one that would help pave the way towards a better, peaceful world.

No, instead, your soul feels like it's settled deep into your bones, an aching tire that keeps rocking and rattling at your already fractured, beaten down body, laughing at how pathetic you look.

(You're so tired.

You just wanted to live normally.

You never can, you eventually come to realize on your first 24th birthday.

That thought, now fully realized, would come to permeate it's way deep into your bones.)

All you wanted to do was to just take one step forward, off of the railing that you're so delicately balanced upon, and dive into air headfirst.

Really, all it takes is just one step.

And truly, you've never felt more at peace as your body dropped from the railings, descended quickly towards the streets below you.

What should've been a quick few seconds of a dive felt like an eternity drowning in a bottomless pool. The lights of New York flashed and beamed at you, but it changed rapidly from one to another. Your throat closes, shuttering, and you want so desperately to start screaming.

Only, no one would hear them.

The winds would carry away your screams, rushing a sound of its own that would overpower yours.

You wonder, absently, was this similar to what Rhodey felt that day?

Well.

You'd never really find out, now, will you?

Too late to ask.

(There's no way to get back home.

You can never see Morgan again- the Morgan that called you her big Care Bear, the Morgan that cried and threw a temper tantrum because you forgot to give her a goodnight kiss.

You can never see mom and dad again- while they're still here, it's just not the same. You'll never get to see the same Pepper who was so relieved just to see you alive after the Battle of Wakanda, even if you were practically on your death bed. You'll never get to see the same Tony who you spent hours crying into the shoulder of after the Blip.

You can never see the same Steve, Natasha, Rhodey, anyone, ever again.

Years spent just trying to be better, to help the world, to mend and build any relationships you could, gone.

And even if they weren't?

There's just no way to get back home anymore. Not back to the person you used to be.)

The next day, you got an earful from your parents when photos of your falling body appear all over the internet. All the meanwhile, you're not really listening to them, just staring right back at them.

Odd.

('When did you start looking at me with contempt?', you'd ask one day.

Tony just stares at you, then out the window. In his hand, he's holding a cup of coffee; in yours, water. You've since stopped drinking anything remotely sugary, caffeinated, or alcoholic, though you've never told anyone why.

'When did you start mistaking concern with contempt.', he responded, though it was more of a statement rather than a question.

You stared at him, then followed his gaze out the window.

Neither of you says anything, even as the hours go by in the blink of an eye.)

(That's all I had written down so far. Not sure where I wanted to go with this afterwards.)

Special (Vapidity, Testament To Absence) deals with future DAHLIA realizing what it means to mourn someone.

The house is empty.

It is an irrelevant thought, DAHLIA notes.

Technically speaking, the house has been empty quite often than not; after all, you were a busy man with an equally busy schedule. Being the CEO of SI and a huge contributing factor to the world's rebuilding made it more or less impossible for you to stay at home for long. Though, she also doesn't linger long in the house, either. But she's still there regardless, even if she's also with you on the other side of the planet for diplomatic reasons.

She knows of the emptiness inside this house; it was never an unfamiliar concept.

But with this emptiness, she's never once associated loneliness with it either.

It's a bit better when Virginia occasionally comes around to the house to do some maintenance. She might even bring along little Morgan with her.

("You keep saying she's a pest, but I know I sure as hell ain't the one that keeps shifting the TV to the kids' channels when she's around," you comment, not even taking your eyes off of the pan. DAHLIA says nothing towards your accusations, instead opting to tell you that you're burning your eggs.

You aren't, but she says nothing amidst your panic.)

A few others occasionally visit, too, much to DAHLIA's internal disapproval.

Rogers used to visit every day ever since she first noted the emptiness. His behavior was also peculiar. He'd prowl around the house, pausing here and there at random parts of the house. He'd often just... Stand there, seemingly looking at nothing for a long period, before jolting back and continue what he was doing. She's thankful that he hasn't noted her silence when he's around.

Often Banner would come along too, and he'd be talking quietly with Rogers. As of recently, they've stopped visiting though. Probably because of the recent news (that (Name) might still be alive, just lost in time), DAHLIA almost bitterly notes.

James ("Just call him Rhodey- literally no one calls him James nowadays." you laugh, eyes crinkling with amusement) visits too. He doesn't linger for long, but he makes sure to check up on DAHLIA, help tend to the flowers... She'd even dare say she wishes he'd visit more often.

Peter also visits here and there as well. He often comes with Morgan and Virginia, but there have been a few occasions where he's come here by himself. He'd spend most of his time in the garden, your favorite place. And when he's alone, she'd given him privacy out of respect, but even at a long distance, she can hear him talking by himself. He'd come back eyes red and swollen, but he's always smiling afterward.

A few others have visited too, but not as often as the others. Though, none of that really helps negate the emptiness she feels as she wordlessly navigates through a routine she devoted herself to after your disappearance.

And the final chapter, Special (Chemically Compromised) is basically a fluff filler with (Name) chaperoning Peter's field trip, inspired by an Instagram post.

Written in bits and pieces, unfinished. Not sure if I wanted it to be romantic (the name implies it in a nerdy way) or just a fun, platonic, "dude you're literally embarrassing me" way.

(Peter) "I can't believe you're doing this...!"

(Name) "What? What's wrong with this?"

Pan to (Name) dressing like he's a Typical, Normal Civilian Man, but it's clearly (Name) Stark, son of Tony Stark, and an Avenger.

(Peter) "I don't need you to chaperone my field trip...! May could've done this-"

(Name) "No, she really couldn't, sweetheart. She's got a busy shift, and even told me that no one else's parents was free."

(Name) "Listen- this really could have gone worse if, say, Tony, knew. God knows Tony would've dropped everythin' and just embarrass ya- he did that shit to me every chance he got," Peter winces, almost forgetting that Tony was still your dad, and a chill ran up his spine as he imagined what it would have been like for you.

(Peter) "But still..."

(Name) "Don't worry, I'll just wear a cap and sunglasses."

(Peter) "That can't possibly work."

(Name) "You'd be surprised- Sam's standin' down there, right near that phone booth."

Peter's head snapped over to where you were pointing at, and indeed, right on the floors of the Manhattan streets, there was a relatively built black guy that's wearing a cap, sunglasses, and a brown leather jacket. Peter tilted his head.

He hasn't been around Sam all that much, but he still knows what the Avenger looked like. But even then, he wasn't sure if that man was actually Sam. He's built right, but Peter can't see much of his hair or eyes. Plus, he's kind of far away.

He squinted at the man, before glancing back at you, now unsure of himself.

(Peter) "That's really the Falcon?"

You stared at him, before snorting.

(Name) "Nah, I'm joshin' ya, that's just some random guy...", you glance at the man, sniffing, "... Probably."

That's... pretty much it. That's all I had for Restart, as far as writing goes.

Now here are some closing thoughts, just to wrap all of this up nice and tight, sort of.

I'm not really happy with how the initial chapters were paced and how they were written. My writing style has mildly changed, and if I had the motivation to, I'd love to rewrite them. But alas, I don't.

I think about this story often; or at least, variations of it. It's like when you daydream, and you restart it but to the left. But unfortunately, writing a plot without too many plot holes while remaining as canonically correct as possible, and making it interesting without being a complete word-by-word remake of the movies, is difficult.

I'm not sure if I would ever pick up this story again, especially since this whole chapter told you what I had in store anyways.

Thank you to those who took the time out of their day to write nice and encouraging comments about this story. It's unfortunate it had to end this way, but I'm glad it happened anyways. And hopefully, it's the same for you.

And remember: the one thing writers love to do is talk about their story! If you have any other comments, questions, or just general thoughts about the story, I'd love to discuss it further!

Anyways. If you're reading this now, thanks for sticking with Restart for as long as you did.

_____

Masterlist

_____

I know I had people on the tagged list, but it’s a bit hard to get them all as URL’s change, so I opted not to. Sorry!

#male reader #avengers x male reader #steve rogers x male reader #bucky barnes x male reader #avengers #reader insert #avengers x reader #restart

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skelemira · 3 years ago

Note

Ooooh whats Rowan's lore? *grabs popcorn*

ALRIGHT BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS

Gonna leave it after the cut (if I remember how to do the cut right on mobile lol) so I don't clog up feeds

So Rowan started out as a human. Her family was okay financially, probably lower middle class. Not rich enough to be truly comfortable, but not in a whole lot of danger debt-wise. She had a mother, a father, an older sister named Magnolia (Nolia for short) and a little brother named Cedar (lol do you see a naming pattern here I'm so creative). Her parents were... Okay. They weren't abusive or anything, but they weren't exactly doting. They didn't really have the time to be doting, since they both worked all the time. The siblings all got along really well, though, the type of siblings that stuck together initially because they lacked that true family relationship but slowly morphed into ride or die siblings.

So one day, little 14-year-old Rowan (Nolia was 16, soon to be 17, and Cedar was 10) gets home from school, pretty average, normal day.

She's sitting at the table doing her hw when someone knocks at the door and her parents (it was kind of weird, they were never home at this hour) rush to open it. There stands a man in a lab coat, holding an envelope. Rowan hated him instantly. Something about him seemed wrong.

He talked to her parents for a bit, and her parents asked her to go get Nolia and Cedar with some urgency in their voices. And.... If she was right in placing that tone.... Guilty excitement...?

She got her siblings and they came downstairs.

Turns out her parents had been closer to debt than she realized. So to get some more money and.... Relieve some financial burdens, they sold their kids to a group of scientists needing victi----research participants.

Of course there was a struggle, Nolia stepping up to try and defend her siblings, screaming at her parents, Rowan holding Cedar close while silent tears poured down both their faces.

But the scientist was prepared, and before anyone could react, three men appeared with rags, holding them over the kids' mouths.

She woke up in an empty white room.

Well... If you could call it white. It was more of a dinghy, hardly cleaned beige. These men were not with the government, she could immediately tell that.

Gonna sum up this part bc it involves torture but basically the scientists were experimenting to see if they could turn a human into a monster. They found only Rowan's soul was compatible. They used her siblings to keep her under control..... Only they had dumped Nolia and Cedar on the streets weeks ago. They simply reused footage to "prove" to Rowan they were still there.

They almost succeeded in their experiment. They forced so much magic into her soul that it started to flip.... But it was too much and Rowan flatlined. They dumped her body in the woods, only disappointed that they came so close.

A couple months passed. Her body decayed until only her skeleton remained. The decaying process was helped along by all the magic, which seemed to have concentrated in her bones, morphing them slowly until they were all connected.

She woke up.

She spent several years on the streets. She begged, she stole, and... She drank. Or at least she tried to. (She was allowed into bars because people thought she was a monster, and she wasn't wearing stripes, so that must mean she was an adult.) She quickly discovered that her alcohol tolerance was *legendary*. She drank bars dry having drinking contests with people (that's how she paid for all her drinks) but felt no different than before. Eventually someone dared her to try Everclear, and though she grimaced at the taste, she drank the entire bottle.

The bar was silent.

The taste eventually grew on her, a kind of self-inflicted punishment that soon became a routine, almost a comfort.

Now a good chunk of the next part has to do with my friend's sonas which I'm not going to talk about because they're not my characters, but suffice it to say they were amazing friends to her and helped her recover and get on her feet.

One such friend discovered her sleeping by Grillby's dumpster, and Grillby let her stay the night on his couch, setting up a job at Muffet's for her the next day. She and Muffet became really close friends and finally she started to have a more stable life. (She finds and dates Underlust Sans but that's another story lol which I would be happy to share in another ask~ but y'all these two are so cute plz)

So someone suggests she go see a therapist. Goodness knows she's got some trauma. So she agrees. The name of her therapist seems..... Eerily familiar but she decides to ignore her gut and go anyway. She walks into the therapist's office and---

And sees her mother sitting there, looking professional and well-rested and happy.

She runs.

Yeah so suffice it to say she isn't gonna trust therapy again for a bit lol, and it takes her even LONGER (and some good therapy sessions) to accept the fact that her mother was clearly better off without her and her siblings.

Yeah ya girl has a lot of issues, especially abandonment <3 she is very much a people pleaser and WILL put your needs high above her own. Anything to make you want to stay. Anything to make her feel needed or wanted.

So she's hanging out at Grillby's one day (he and his bartender like to try out different mixes on her, try to see if they can get her to make a face at a cocktail) when a huge party comes in. Rowan automatically shrinks a bit from discomfort because of the big crowd, and she continues her game with Grillby and the bartender (the bartender is my friend's sona that's why I'm not naming them lol). Then she hears something that makes her freeze mid-sip.

"Let's hear it for Magnolia!!!! The first of us to get tied down!" Followed by raucous laugh....ter...

She recognizes that laugh.

She flees the bar, with no explanation to anyone. She catches a glimpse of Nolia, with Cedar by her side, and both of their eyes squint slightly in confusion as she passes by them.

She makes it outside, looking around for where to go, unable to think in her panicked confusion when---

"R......Rowan?"

She goes ramrod straight and slowly turns, hands balled into fists to hide the violent shaking. Nolia bursts into tears, Cedar immediately clinging to her stiff form, his shoulders shaking as bad as her hands.

They.... Recognized her. They.........

Were *happy* to see her.

Slowly she hugged them back and they got to catching up. (So yeah if it wasn't clear Nolia was getting married, they both had survived on the streets together until Nolia was old enough to get a job).

Also something I forgot to mention lol is Rowan had found 2 kittens behind Muffet's, an older girl kitten fiercely protecting a little boy kitten. They immediately latched onto her after she made it clear she wasn't a threat, and she decided to name them after her siblings.

Also things worth noting, she smells like apples, she has magical red translucent hair, her soul wavers from more upside down like a monster's to more upright like a human's, she loves to bake, she is like the DEFINITION of cottagecore, she has magical tattoos on her face that change around to look like the Day of the Dead skulls (the colors get brighter or darker with her moods), and she drinks 2 bottle of everclear every time she goes to Grillby's. The paramedics in the area quickly become used to people calling the ambulance when she drinks (seriously look up everclear it's basically pure alcohol). She eventually stops drinking (not that it was *really* harming her since she had that alcohol tolerance and a body made primarily of magic at this point (plus alcohol isn't really gonna hurt her, she doesn't have kidneys lol) but she wanted to stop anyway. She loves to paint and teaches one of her friends to paint, tending to her friend's garden while her friend paints. She also loves to cook and bake, she eventually helps out with baking at Muffet's, though she refuses to bake the spiders into the pastries. Her scones are things of legend, they sell out as soon as she brings the tray out of the kitchen.

Yeah that was a lot lol and there's little things here and there that I missed so feel free to send in questions about her if you want to know anything! Or if you want to know how Rowan and UL Sans got together (spoiler: they eventually get married and it's so cute)

#ask #anon #oc time babyyyy #Rowan #Rowan beloved #also thank you guys so much for asking about her #I adore her so much and don't get the chance often to share her lore

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apocalypseornaw · 4 years ago

Text

Always be Yours- 8

Word Count: 5,574

Story Summary: Follows Dean x Reader throughout season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: Lies come crashing down on you and Dean which results in Kevin's death after discovering that the angel possessing Sam is not who he said he was

Warnings: Cursing, fights, character death, mention of sex

You were still half asleep with your bare leg draped across Dean as his fingers traced patterns on your skin. “I’m worried about Sammy,Y/N” You kissed his chest right over his tattoo “I know. I am too but what can we do here? Ezekiel says he’s not healed enough to eject him and after what happened with Vesta saying he’s practically dead inside I’m sort of leaning towards the fact that he’s telling the truth on that part” A ghost of a smirk graced his face before he said “Think Jody’s forgave us for missing out on that fight?” you buried your face into his shoulder at the reminder that the two of you had in fact gotten kidnapped by a goddess because Dean had been eager to make sure the two of you got to take each other’s reclaimed “virginity” as soon as possible.

“I think I’d be a little pissed at the fact that I got stabbed because two of my friends and fellow hunters couldn’t resist the urge to have sex in the impala two blocks from the hotel instead of waiting until they got alone” he chuckled then reached down to pull you closer to him for a kiss. “These last few weeks have been good though haven’t they?” You smiled “Yeah they have” since that first night you had started sleeping in Dean’s room because you quickly found out that you both slept better curled up to the other. You could hear someone walking in the hall and strained your ears for a moment “There comes Sam, think it’s a case?” He shrugged letting his fingers slip under the shirt you had on and you slapped at his hand as Sam knocked on the door “Got a case! Meet me in the library!” Dean smirked at you as Sam walked away “He didn’t say when to meet him” you rolled your eyes and untangled yourself from your boyfriend “I’m fairly certain he didn’t mean have sex then come meet me” he watched you from the bed as you slipped a pair of his sleep pants on under the shirt you slept in then tilted your head towards the door “If we hurry we might have time to grab a shower before we hit the road” That made him get out of the bed a lot faster than he normally would. He grabbed a shirt on the way then grabbed your hand “Let’s go see what he’s got”

------

You were laid back across baby’s backseat as Dean drove towards Fort Collins. The case seemed to be along the angelic line so you were headed to check it out. You weren’t paying too much attention to their conversation as you were attempting to go to sleep until you realized Sam’s posture had changed and knew that meant Ezekiel was the one talking to Dean. You cut your eyes at Dean as you sat up and caught the fact that he had apparently called Ezekiel out. “So, he’s better?” you looked over at Ezekiel who met your eyes first then slowly nodded to Dean “Yes, Sam is much improved. It shouldn’t be much longer now” “No offense but you told us the same thing last week” you added and Dean nodded in agreement.

“As I told you both when we met, this will take time” Dean scoffed at that “Well then go, heal. We’d like Sam back now” Ezekiel looked at Dean for a moment then looked at you “I must say Dean, Y/N..I’m very uncomfortable with this whole trip. Investigating crimes involving angels or anything involving angels puts me and therefore puts Sam at risk” “It’s what we do” you replied and Dean added “Family business Zeke.If we ignored this Sam will think something fishy’s going on”

“Then I trust you will both be discreet” Ezekiel said than a thought occurred to you that must have struck Dean at the same time because he said “Wait, if you know where we’re going that means you’ve been listening in. Are you hearing everything between us and Sam?” you were curious as well but Ezekiel said “No, just a word here and there. I have better things to do with my time than eavesdrop like heal Sam” Dean started to speak “Ok, cause here’s the thing” but since he was looking at the road he missed the change in Sam so you bumped his shoulder to quickly cut him off as Sam picked up the conversation he’d dropped when Ezekiel had taken the wheel “I mean I was gonna say, it seems like it’s getting really quiet out there. Not a peep from the angels, even Buddy Boyle goes off the air and stops recruiting for them” “Obviously a calm before the storm” Dean reasoned and you had to admire the fact that neither of you had gotten whiplash from the change between Sam and Ezekiel and how sudden it was at times.

“Yeah, maybe” Sam replied then glanced out the window. “What’s wrong?” you asked at the expression on his face and he looked a bit surprised to see you sitting up but he explained “That sign said Fort Collins fifty miles, last time I looked like twelve seconds ago it said Fort Collins one hundred miles” “You know Dean’s driving” you teased with a tense smile. Dean shook his head “Since that goddess got her hooks in you..” but Sam cut him off “It’s more than Vesta. I mean, this kind of thing has been happening to me. Like there are chunks of time just missing, like there are times I’m not here” It hurt your heart to hear the distress in Sam’s voice and not be able to comfort him. Dean spoke up “Like I’ve said”

“Yes the trials,I know I heard you and Y/N last week when you said it and the week before that and the week before that” You leaned up between them and offered “Maybe because damn straight you have reason to be wiped after the trials Sam! They whacked you. You’re not up to warp speed yet but you will be and until you are you have me and Dean to watch your back” He nodded and didn’t look too convinced on yours or Dean's theories but still joked “Unless you get kidnapped by another goddess for shacking up?” you rolled your eyes playfully and said “For that I’m going to sleep” then laid back.

------

The bar where the crime scene was had cops covering nearly every inch. You climbed out of baby and followed Sam across the parking lot. Dean stopped on the steps leading up to the wooden porch and flashed his badge so you and Sam followed suit. The deputy at the door looked over all three of your badges and nodded “One of your guys is already here” another hunter maybe? Dean looked from you to Sam as you walked inside the door but you were just as clueless as they were.

You spotted Cas about the same time he spotted you and told the cop he was currently talking to “There’s my colleagues” The cop walked off so he could catch the three of you up. You shared a smile with Sam when he patted Cas’ shoulder “Agent” “Agents” Cas replied with a little smile. Dean on the other hand looked less than thrilled and while you were happy to see Cas you remembered just how many reasons there were for it being a bad idea that Cas worked this particular scene. “Cas, what the hell are you doing here?” Dean asked and Cas shrugged “I still have the badge that you gave me” Dean nodded “Yeah uh but what the hell are you doing?” Cas’ face fell slightly “The murders were all over the news. I thought I might be of help” Sam cut in by saying “But Cas you know this is an angel situation right? I mean you left that night because the angels were on your ass” Dean’s eyes widened at Sam’s words and you gave him a look silently begging him to steer the conversation a different way so he spoke up “Yeah, and you were living the life, you know? Early retirement, working your way up the gas n sip ladder” at least it got the conversation off things that could trigger Sam figuring out he was missing out on even more time than he realized. Cas glanced towards you as he said “If angels are slaughtering one another, I have to do what I can to help. This is a risk we should be willing to take. Don’t you think?”

Sam smirked slightly and you couldn’t help but grin when Cas said “Hey, Cas is back in town” and Dean shook his head “Seriously did you, did he just say that?” and looked towards you. You shrugged “Leave him be, he wants to help” Cas smiled then opened the file in his hand that held photos of the bodies “These angels were butchered, much more violence than required” Sam took the photos from him so you stepped back next to Sam so you could look at the photos as well. They were pretty gorey. “Dean it definitely took more than one or two killing to pull this off” you held out one of the photos and he nodded then suggested “Hit squad? Bartholomew’s people?”

Sam shrugged one shoulder “Well Bartholomew is a faction we know about but this could be somebody else entirely. Someone we don’t know” “Well whoever it is, we’ll find them” Cas confidently said patting all three of your shoulders in turn. Cas walked off and Dean sighed “We’ll find them. That’s great” the moment you looked from Dean to Sam you spotted his posture change as his eyes glowed slightly “Zeke? I thought you didn’t want public appearances?” you whispered and he looked past your shoulder to where Cas stood talking to a deputy “This is a big risk Y/N” Dean stepped closer to you and it shocked you slightly to realize it was a protective stance. Was he worried Ezekiel would hurt you? “We know, now give Sam the driver’s seat back” He nodded and his eyes glowed then the change in posture told you Sam was back.

You shot a look at Dean trying to ask why he was acting weird but he just shook his head “Let’s grab Cas and go get a beer or something. Talk this case over” “Sounds good to me” Sam replied with a smile.

------

All of you were still in your fed suit at a bar a bit further into the nearest town. You sat between Dean and Sam nursing a beer and could feel the tension rolling off of Dean. Why was Ezekiel being weird around Cas? Hell Cas vouched for him.

“It is so good being together again” Cas said with a smile that softened your mood just seeing it. He was a little tipsy and you could tell when he tilted his beer “You know, this is my first beer as a human” then he looked around the table as a thought occurred to him “I hope it’s ok, me joining all of you” “Of course it is” you assured him with a smile. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Sam added. Dean looked towards Sam then said “Cas are you sure you’re ready to jump back into all this? I mean it seemed to me like you’d actually found some peace” Cas nodded while Dean was talking then said “You once told me that you don’t choose what you do. It chooses you” you bit your lip to hide a smirk at Dean’s confusion. “I’m a part of this, like it or not” Cas added and clinked his beer against Dean’s.

Sam nodded clearly amused then said “Well in that case,we have to figure out who we are up against, what do they want and how to stop them” “Well Bartholomew wants to reverse Metatron’s spell. Presumably to retake heaven once his following is large enough. That’s according to April” “The reaper you banged?” you asked. Cas nodded “And Dean stabbed”

Dean nodded “She was hot” so you kicked him under the table which made him add “Not as hot as you Y/N” “You are much lovelier than her” Cas added so you smiled at him “Thank you” Sam laughed “I’m gonna get us another round” Cas stood up first “Naw, I’ll get it”

You watched him stumble off the stool and laughed when Dean scoffed “One beer and he’s hammered” You didn’t clock Sam’s posture changing but when Dean said “Oh boy” you glanced up and knew with one look Sam wasn’t driving. “Well, what are you two going to do about this?” “About Cas?” you questioned and Ezekiel replied “He is a beacon Y/N, pulling every angel from miles down on our heads” You leaned a bit closer to Dean without meaning to as he said “You know what Zeke, level with us. What is it that you’re so afraid of?” his hand reached out to touch your knee and you calmed a bit at the touch. Ezekiel was starting to worry you with his actions more and more, you knew Dean could pick up on that as well.

“I told you both. When I chose to answer Dean’s prayer and heal Sam, I chose sides. That means I’m not in good standing with certain angels” “Well neither is Cas” you bit back and felt Dean’s grip tighten on your knee as he agreed with you “And Cas is here with his ass on the line, fighting the fight. So tell me what makes you so special?”

Before Ezekiel could answer Cas walked back over “Here we go, four brewskies” “I’m going to get something out of the car” Ezekiel announced. You watched him walk off then looked over at Dean placing your hand over his. You weren’t sure what was coming but something told you it wouldn’t be anything good.

You were being quiet trying to still your mind until Cas cleared his throat “Dean, I um noticed you look kind of uncomfortable when Sam mentions my leaving. If Y/N knows you told me to leave, why doesn’t he?” you looked between the two of them because you honestly had no response. Dean sighed “Look, here’s the deal when Sam was doing the trials to seal up hell, It messed him up ok? The third one nearly killed him. If I’d let him finish it would have, he’s still messed up bad” Cas looked a bit confused “You said the angel Ezekiel helped heal him”

You squeezed Dean’s hand that was still on your knee before he said “Look, I got to do anything I can to get him back. Now if that means we keep our distance from you for a little while then I don’t have a choice” You added “You have to know he doesn’t feel good about that choice Cas, neither do I but” “It’s great to have your help Cas but we just can’t work together” Dean finished and you felt your heart drop at how broken Cas looked again. He’d lost the angels that were his family and now you and Dean were turning your backs on him.

------

“Dean, how long are we supposed to trust Ezekiel? I mean I see how you act every time he comes out. You don’t trust him” Sam was in the map room last you’d seen him so you cornered Dean in the kitchen both of you whispering so none of the other habitants of the bunker would overhear. “I don’t know Y/N but we can’t risk him leaving and it killing Sam” you nodded and took a deep breath before giving voice to your next thought “What if he’s lying and using Sam and this bunker as a place to hide? I mean if Cas trusted him enough to say we should work with him why doesn’t he want Cas around?” Dean started to talk but was cut off by Sam calling both of your names.

He’d been doing some digging on the bikers that had been slaughtered. Turned out all the vics had been baptized together. A born again biker game and when Sam showed both of you the group photo of the bikers Dean spotted a patch on one of their jackets that read B.B. and underneath it spelled out was Boyle’s boys. “As in Buddy Boyle?” you asked. Sam clicked on another screen “Get this according to this guy’s wife he’d always been a religious man but a week before his death he’d come home from a bible meeting a changed man. Filled with divine glory” “So Boyle’s back at it? Just in smaller groups?” you questioned and Dean nodded “Smaller groups he makes sure it’s the angels Bartholomew wants getting in” “Well you always have said angels are dicks” you groaned at the thought of more innocent people getting slaughtered for Metatron’s actions.

------

With no other place to turn you and Dean decided to rope Kevin into hitting the lore again. Maybe just maybe Crowley had indeed lied.

Dean was on his laptop and you had four different books spread out in front of you while Kevin poured over the angel tablet. “There may be nothing in here. Crowley said the spell that cast down the angels was irreversible” “Since when do we believe that dick?” you replied not glancing up. You didn’t want to mention to Dean that Sam had left a while ago and had yet to return.

Kevin found one spot in the tablet and said it was nearly indecipherable as if when Metatron wrote it down he wanted it hidden from everyone,prophets included. There was another angel kill in Utah and had a connection to the last killing. “Rival angel gangs. Christ Kev, clock’s ticking honey”

------

You had just gotten through making Kevin lunch and he was headed back to the library when Dean walked into the kitchen “Sweetheart have you seen Sam?” you started to shake your head no but Kevin answered “He went out” “Where?” Dean questioned glancing back at you so you shrugged.

“I don’t know either. But have you two noticed he’s doing that a lot recently?” you had in fact noticed it and hoped you were wrong but something told you Ezekiel had grown tired of riding along and wanted to drive full time.”Yeah” Dean replied looking at you. That was enough to tell you he was thinking along the same line as you were. Dean’s phone started ringing so Kevin walked out the kitchen while Dean answered the call.

You glanced at him curiously and he mouthed “Cas” so you stopped cleaning to pay attention. “How do you know that?” then after a moment he asked “How?” You could feel your stomach knotting more and more with every moment “Where is he?” you whispered and he shrugged. “Wait you’re back? You got your mojo?” “He got his grace?” you whispered and Dean nodded then listened to what Cas was saying.

“What?...Yeah..Why?” Dean met your eyes when he said “What?” as soon as he hung up with Cas he grabbed your arm and nearly drug you behind him to the library “What’s going on Dean?” you asked but he shook his head knocking a chair out of your path as he stopped next to Kevin “I need a spell asap” Kevin sighed “Everyone always needs a spell and it’s always asap” you were clueless as to what was going on so you remained silent as Dean spoke “Look, an angel can’t be expelled by another human right? What if there was a way to power down the angel so that it wasn’t in charge for a few seconds?” “What?” you and Kevin both asked.

“Hypothetically if I wanted to speak with the vessel but not have the squatter listen in” you figured out that whatever Cas had to say wasn’t anything good. “Why?” Kevin pushed so you offered “If we have a way to power down angels we can save a lot of lives” “Find the spell now?” Kevin asked and Dean grabbed your arm again “Yesterday Kevin” then pulled you behind him down the hall.

------

You snatched away from him as soon as you were certain Kevin wouldn’t overhear “Ok baby you’re scaring me. What is going on?” he took a deep breath then said “Whoever is inside of Sam is not Ezekiel. He died in the fall” you ran your hand across your face forcing yourself to take a few deep breaths “What do we do?” “Hope Kevin finds a spell and hope it works”

“And if it doesn’t?” you asked knowing the answer even before Dean said “We may lose Sam”

------

It didn’t take Kevin long to find the sigils that were supposed to hobble an angel long enough to give the vessel control so him and Dean painted it on the wall in the store room while you stood near the entrance trying to keep an eye out for Sam. You could hear Kevin asking Dean what was really going on so you walked towards the sound of their voices “Just trust us Kev, ok?” you said and he looked between you and Dean then slowly nodded “I always trust you two and I always end up screwed” “Not always” you added with a slight smile.

Dean bumped your arm when he heard Sam come in from the garage entrance. You followed him into the kitchen where Sam was putting stuff away in the fridge “Where you been?” Dean asked so Sam turned with a half smile “Beer run” “That was a long beer run” you added as you followed Dean into the room noticing how he was placing himself between you and Sam. If he was that worried it spoke volumes.

“Can we talk?” Dean asked him so he nodded and shoved everything into the fridge “Yeah, sure”

------

Dean led the way to the storage room. He let Sam walk inside but kept you within arm’s reach. “This sounds serious,” Sam said and you saw when Dean sliced his palm and touched the sigil on the door. Sam turned at the sound of the sigil powering up “What’s going on?”

“We need to tell you some stuff fast” Dean said and you added “It’s gonna really piss you off” “Ok” Sam hesitantly responded. Dean unconsciously pushed you behind him as he spoke “Those trials really messed you up” “Yes I know that..” Sam started but Dean but him off “No. You don’t. I mean messed you up like almost dead. No more birthdays, dust to dust. So that messed me up and it messed Y/N up. So I made a move. A tough move about you without talking it over because you were in a coma” Sam looked from you to Dean “What? When?”

“You were in the hospital Sam. Dean called me when they said you weren’t going to make it” “What did you two do?” he asked. “I let an angel in” Dean answered. “In what?” Sam asked and you answered that time “In you”

“He said he could heal you and he is” you added quickly. You saw tears in Sam’s eyes when he asked “He’s still in me?” Dean nodded then Sam shook his head “That’s impossible. I never invited him in” “I tricked you into saying yes. It seemed like the only way” Dean clarified.

Sam took a shuddering breath “So,again. You thought I couldn’t handle something so you took over and got my best friend to lie to me too!” “He did what he had to do Sam” you weren’t trying to side with either of them but you also knew time was running short. “You never would’ve agreed to it and you would’ve died!” Dean added.

The argument continued between the two of them until you looked at Dean “Enough. Tell him the biggest problem” “Biggest problem?” Sam questioned so Dean nodded “The angel lied to us.He said his name was Ezekiel. Cool guy, according to Cas but it’s not Ezekiel” “Then who is he?” Sam asked and you shook your head “We don’t know”

“Ezekiel is dead and whoever this guy is can end you in a heartbeat so you have to dump him” Dean spoke and you could feel your hands shake slightly. Sam turned to walk past you both so Dean tried to stop him but when he got to the door he swung on Dean and the punch landed solidly knocking Dean out. “Sam!” you screamed and he shook his head at you “Check on him. Don’t follow me”

You went to your knees at Dean’s side “C’mon Dean, wake up god dammit” you shook him roughly and he groaned “Where’d he go?” as you helped him to his feet and explained what Sam had told you.

------

The two of you made it into the map room in enough time to see Ezekiel smite Kevin. “NO!” you screamed and felt Dean’s arm slide around your waist about the time Ezekiel or whoever he was threw the two of you back into a beam holding you there with his powers. Dean was taking the worst of it and using his own body to block yours.

“Sam?” you both called hoping but that hope was crushed when he said “There is no more Sam” You could feel a weight on your chest from the force of the angel’s powers and knew it was worse on Dean. “But I played him convincingly, I thought” The angel taunted.

You and Dean were both struggling to breathe but Dean managed to ask “How did you” the angel explained he heard the two of you talking with Kevin and had altered the sigil.

You watched helplessly while the angel wearing your best friend’s face packed the angel tablet into a backpack then said “Sorry about Kevin but ultimately it’s for the best.. I did what I had to” He laid a piece of paper with Kevin’s name on his chest then stood and walked out.

The moment his powers released you and Dean you crumpled to the floor but he caught you before you hit hard. You gasped for breath, clinging to Dean’s shirt. You slowly looked at Kevin and felt your heart rip into pieces. He was gone, his eyes burnt from the inside out. “Kevin?” Dean spoke softly, tears falling down his face as you cried into his chest.

------

Minutes passed as the two of you sat with the severity of the situation sinking deeper and deeper. In the span of moments you’d lost Kevin forever and if you couldn’t find some way to get the angel out of Sam there was a high chance of losing him as well.

“We can’t leave him laying there Y/N” Dean spoke slowly getting to his feet and pulling you with him. You slowly sniffling as you said “I’ll get some cloth, then I’ll help you gather the wood” You started to walk off but Dean grabbed your hand “Baby, I did this” you shook your head and squeezed his hand “No you didn’t” then pulled your hand away to go gather the cloth you’d need to wrap Kevin’s body in.

-------

When you walked back into the library Dean was kneeled next to Kevin and held up the sheet of paper the angel had left on his chest “This was a hit. Someone got him to kill the kid” you knew Dean well enough to know that when faced with any intense emotion most of the time he wrapped himself so deep in anger and self hatred no one could get through. You took the paper out of his hand and slipped it into the pocket of your jeans “We’ll find whoever caused this” he nodded then stood up “I’m gonna go get started on the pyre” he kissed your forehead then walked out. You took a deep breath then laid the cloths down on the floor as everything hit you again.

Kevin was a kid, hell he should’ve been enjoying college at his age not laying dead on the floor of a hidden bunker wrapped into the world he’d been dragged into. Sam, god Sam was locked inside his own head caused by the two people he trusted most in the world.

You started the process of wrapping Kevin’s body, your hands moving more on muscle memory than your own will. You’d done this one too many times. Whether friends, colleagues or family as with Lena. This life was a cruel one.

------

You’d just finished when Dean walked back in behind you. “I got him” he easily lifted Kevin up so you followed behind him soundlessly.

The two of you walked into the woods just beyond the bunker where there was a clearing. In the middle of the clearing Dean had built a suitable funeral pyre and gently laid Kevin’s lifeless form onto it. He didn’t say a word as he lit the pyre then stepped over next to you. As the flames flickered to life you felt a chill that had nothing to do with the coolness of the night.

Dean pulled you into his side as you both watched the flames claim yet another person that you had called as family.

------

The walk back to the bunker you could tell from how Dean was holding himself that he was barely holding it together. You didn’t try to reach out to him but when he reached out for your hand you slid it into his.

You followed him into the bunker which suddenly felt so much colder than it ever had then followed him into the library. He stopped and picked up Kevin’s phone off the table and you looked to see a photo of Kevin and Ms Tran as the background.

The sudden movement of Dean throwing the phone made you flinch. You stepped back watching while he finally broke, shoving all of Kevin’s note and the lore books into the floor then he threw the lamp across the room and finally bounced a chair off the same beam you and him had been held against. You were silent while he let it out then when he looked at you different emotions played across his face before he finally said “Y/N, you need to leave too”

“What?” you gasped and he motioned around “I got the kid killed, Sam’s been hijacked and we may not get him back. If..if something happened to you because of me? I can’t even think about that” You knew he pushed people away, it’s what he’d always done even to Sam at times so you shook your head “Dean I agreed to let Ezekiel or whoever possess Sam too or are you forgetting that? I’m in this dammit and I’m not leaving. I care too much about you and about Sam to walk away now. I’m not Dean like it or not I’m not leaving you” you could see the muscle in his jaw clench as you spoke then he said “Why? I’m poison”

“No, you’re not. We will get Sam back somehow” you stated letting every bit of anger you felt towards whoever was behind Kevin’s death and this angel hijacking Sam seep into the stubbornness in your voice. “What do you suggest we do then cause sweetheart I don’t know how to fix this” he waved his hand around as he spoke but you remained calm “Can we fix Kevin being killed? No. Can we get Sam back and evict that angelic asshole that’s inside of him? Yes. We call Cas, we gear up and we get on that son of a bitch’s trail”

“I’ll call Cas” he finally sighed and you nodded “I’m going to clean this up” and moved to pick up the books off the floor. He reached to help you but you shook your head “It’s ok Dean, I need to keep my hands busy and we can’t leave until Cas gets here so you go make the call” “I still don’t understand why you’re not heading for the hills but I’m glad you’re not” he confessed pressing a kiss to your cheek before walking out of the room.

Tags: @facadeformyrealblog @akshi8278

#spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female!reader #always be yours #supernatural fic

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feitanswife · 4 years ago

Text

how to write a horror/mystery/gothic novel that takes place in Washington State:

General:

Kent is a shithole, no one goes to Seattle unless they absolutely have to, the beaches are not for swimming really it’s almost always too cold, and Yakima calls itself the Palm Springs of Washington and whoever decided that should be shot. It’s not the Palm Springs of anything. Palm Springs of depression and murder maybe.

our weather is moody and unpredictable, use that. The other day it went from brilliantly sunny to hailing in a few minutes. It just does that. Monday can be 75 degrees, Tuesday it could snow. Especially in spring.

Western half:

It doesn’t matter where your characters live, if it’s not the absolute heart of a big city your characters WILL have convenient access to woods. Maybe not a lot, but there will be, within fifteen minutes of brisk walking or eight minutes of driving, there will be trees and bushes enough to explore. There are narrow walking trails in green belts between suburban housing developments, undeveloped awkwardly shaped plots of land between grocery stores parking lots, and woods at the edge of parks that may or may not be part of the park.

1 in every 8 houses in the average shitty suburb is full of cultists. The cults have splinter fringe cults. It’s cults all the way down. If your neighbors go to ANY church that isn’t like, one of the big well known branches of Christianity, it’s generally assumed you should cut contact with them cause they’re not worth trying to save. My town had people who pretended to be Mormons to get away with even worse shit. If your characters are in high school, they WILL be accosted by people holding signs and spouting slurs outside the school gates at least once a year. It’s just a thing that happens.

Conversely: everyone knows a couple witches. It’s just a thing. If you go to a community college there’s like a 1 in 10 chance any student you talk to practices witchcraft, and the chance goes up exponentially if they look gay. In my friend group there’s only one non witch, somehow. Stick with the witches, they’re usually pretty cool.

Other gothic genres would have you believe that forests and fields and wild places are scary, don’t be fooled into believing that’s always the case here. It’s not. In fact, the forest is often a place of refuge from, yanno, the weirdos outside of it.

You may think I’m exaggerating but I had neighbors who boarded up their own house and tried to poison the rest of our street when they moved in and spent all Halloween trying to Indoctrinate children. And there was a group of like ten people who faked being from a nearby church as an excuse to harass high schoolers and nobody knew they were fakes until I accidentally told the story to someone who ACTUALLY WENT TO THE CHURCH and was like “uh no we don’t do that wtf???” And that’s how we found of that there were people to fucked up for even the Mormons, and got kicked out and started their own operation! So what did we all do? We started walking home through the woods behind the highschool!

Basically tl:dr if you’re writing on the western half of the state, frame it like there’s scary paranormal goings on in the woods only to plot twist that the villains are humans and the forest’s paranormal activities are helpful, not harmful. Nothing in the woods is scarier than what’s outside of it. Except like, bears and stuff. But usually bears aren’t actively trying to fuck your day up.

Eastern half:

FUN GEOGRAPHY LESSON: rain shadows! We got MOUNTAINS! And when you go over the mountains there’s a huge closet wasteland cause the water gets trapped in the west side! But, between the mountains and the wasteland there’s this beautiful strip of pine forest and meadows called Central Washington it’s beautiful, it’s heaven on earth, once you go there you’ll never want to leave.... except the people there are horrible. It’s like you took a chunk of the Deep South, shook all the actual good stuff out of it, and plopped it in the PNW. Everyone is so up their own asses with politics. trump signs everywhere. So many of them are those godawful rich people who think they’re not rich cause their four story log mansion happens to be in a rural area. I can’t believe I’ve never been hatecrimed over there for how damn gay I look. THE EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE is Ellensburg. Ellensburg my beloved. It’s the best town on earth. Most pedestrian friendly location I’ve ever lived, everyone is super nice, and it’s a college town so there’s always something fun going on!

Tri cities has a bunch of nuclear plant related stuff, do with that what you will.

Back to the fact that half this state is uninhabited due to being completely dry and barren: holy shit the east is scary. It’s just nothing. Rolling hills of nothing. A three hour drive of nothing, then you get to nothing (Idaho edition).

Wine country is its own beast and I would have to make a whole post waxing poetic about how much a vineyard has to give as a gothic setting but here’s the cliff notes:

very isolated, far outside a small town where all the locals know each other, lots of big machines, old dusty barns with cluttered lofts, for straight lines of grapes you can EASILY get lost in the fields, sometimes they scare crows with LOUD AIR CANNONS, hot as hell all the time, people are on the verge between “your cool uncle with money” and “this person has never existed on the same plane of reality as you”, every house has trained hunting dogs for some reason, there’s weird mysterious birds, possibly venomous snakes, and SWARMS of bees and wasps. Oh and everybody and their brother does vineyard weddings. I’m sick to death of vineyard weddings.

Don’t let the maps deceive you. There may be a bunch of town names out there, but that doesn’t mean anything’s there. One time to go camping we drove out into the middle of the state on I-90, took an exit and turned left and kept driving for another hour on completely abandoned roads with no sign of life (but dozens of abandoned rotting houses in the distance) just to get to a “town” that reeked of “we’re getting murdered here cause half of us aren’t white and one of the 3 white people has neon pink hair”. If people wanted to go anywhere they’d have to drive an hour just to get to the interstate. They had one school building for k-12. One gas station, one tiny store, one restaurant. I could lap the entire town in thirty minutes walking. And the first building we saw was a church. Just one. As if the townsfolk weren’t given much of a choice. And there are probably 50 identical towns scattered across the east of the state. Completely isolated.

Tl:dr: want a fresh spin on the “small town full of weirdos” story? Don’t set it in the rural south! Set it in Washington, where you get all the same archetypal weirdness except they think because they’re not in the south they have some kind of moral superiority, and also your lead has nowhere to run cause the landscape is so barren you can damn near see the curve of the earth, where are you gonna hide when the tallest plant goes up to your ankles?

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twinvictim · 4 years ago

Note

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

#entries #silent hill #long post #thank u thank you #ill try tk put a cut in here at some poitn hold on srry

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lillytalons · 4 years ago

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So, the GAR is a mess as we all know. It doesn’t really make sense but I untangled some of it so here ya go. Pictures of what I figured out are at the bottom.

So there are 10 systems armies, led by the Jedi council. Of the other 2 council members, Shaak ti is on Kamino overseeing the clones, and there is one other council member, possibly Yoda, who isn’t directly over a group. That one is up for debate though.

Each army has 2 sectors, likely one led again by a council member, (jedi high general) and the other led by a senior jedi master. Each sector has 4 corps (so 8 corps an army) with each corp being led by a Marshall commander and Jedi General. These generals are probably mostly masters, with some knights as needed. My personal thought is that the high jedi generals are in command of the system army, one half of the sector, and one corps. Then depending on the master, they may be in direct control of one legion, regiment, OR battalion. (We never hear of regiments but assume they are there). My argument for this is that Obi-wan, Mace, and Plo Koon seem to have smaller groups that they lead personally for stealth missions and they attach to the groups they are assisting, but seem to be outside of all other command structures.

Again, the show doesn’t quite make sense because we want to see characters we know which means we see council members working together more than we probably should, but whatever. Moving on.

Legions are generally the lowest grouping led directly by a Jedi (and a senior clone commander), probably mostly knights, but a good chunk of masters too. I gotta think that at first it was based on jedi rank, then the council started fine tuning based on actual skill level at leading soldiers. Regiments are led by junior clone commanders and Jedi commanders/padawans when possible. Padawans are much more outside the structure though, because they spend most of their time with their master. They are likely to not be in direct control day to day, but are placed in the needed command per battle or siege.

Battalions work the same way, but are technically led by battalion commanders, which are made of companies which are led by captains. I’m not going any smaller but you get the idea. Everything from sector army down is made of 4 of the lower thing, so in the whole GAR there are a grand total of 10 system armies, 80 corps, 320 legions, 1280 regiments, 5120 battalions, and 20480 companies.

Which brings me to naming. Honestly the numbers are probably arbitrary, and don’t repeat other than the 10 system armies. (The 7th sky Corps is in the 3rd system army). Everything smaller than a legion (possibly a battalion) probably has a name not number (torrent company) but if you did use numbers, repetition would no longer be a problem because you would divide by legion first, then the unit you are naming-at least on official records. The one caveat is Obi-wan’s battalion, which is probably special cause it’s hooked to a high general. Again, battalions probably have numbers, but since you aren’t going to be mixing system armies often (or ever except that the show does) repetition in numbers isn’t actually an issue, especially if any repetition is in different unit sizes, battalion to legion. Plus battalions will have a secondary name, like attack battalion, which could also help. If there are difference numbers may repeat within those.

There are 400-430 jedi generals at any given time, with extra jedi either floating to give assistance, do spy work (quinlan vos), or fill other needed roles like medical and keeping the temple running.

Unlike your average earth army, officers are in the thick of the fighting, meaning that the higher ranked officers will coordinate whatever they are leading, but will generally personally lead smaller units because Jedi are most effective in the center of the action. Senior padawans were probably almost all knighted within a few months of the clone wars starting because they needed more generals, which is how Anakin ended up with a legion.

For the most part jedi work alone or in pairs, so the high generals will give their units places to be and general objectives and then let them go. There is less oversight unless large planetary assaults like Umbara are needed. A system army will be spread out wide because there are only 10 armies to cover the galaxy, even taking into account separatist space. So corps or legions of the same sector might be spread out on different planets. Along with this, there are not other branches of the military. So each sector army is going to be made of ground units, space/pilot units, etc. Some units are clean up or occupation units that come in after the fact, though we really only see the attack units because of our main characters.

The title/rank Commander is used for multiple ranks, but Cody is the highest rank clone in the GAR, or at least one of them. He is a Marshall commander, over a corps, so there are likely 80 of them, but on top of that he works directly with a high general, making him even higher in the command structure even if not officially. He’s gotta help with the sector and system armies sometimes honestly. Cody seems to directly lead his battalion (no battalion commander) but deals with logistics for the whole corps.

High jedi generals are gonna pick a unit size that works for them like I mentioned above. Obi-wan often runs stealth or speed missions, unless he is working directly with Anakin. But even then they are the pair sent in to tricky situations with basically no back up. The GAR uses them when they need something done with the least amount of men. Some generals that are used in big assaults or blockades are going to use bigger units as their personal unit. We see Mace Windu have a battalion, but also lightning squadron within that for truly messy situations. Mace and Obi-wan also likely guide the other Jedi High Generals (the open circle armada fits in here somehow? Honestly idk) in battle strategy and keeping all the armies cohesive and out of each other’s way.

Oh and also the coruscant guard are outside the 10 system armies, led directly by palpatine (who is technically the commander and chief of the whole GAR which is why the council always has to listen to him) and led by 4 clone commanders, Fox seems to be the most senior, either by rank or self sacrifice, we aren’t really sure. They protect the planet and primarily the senators.

I pulled all this info from wookipedia, the couple of great GAR posts I have on my blog from other people, and puzzle work, or just personal headcanons.

#GAR #sw #my stuff #obi wan kenobi #clones

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rohad93 · 4 years ago

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Moonlit Masquerade: White & Red Pt 1

Part 14 of the Moonlit Masquerade Series

It was the loud sounds of sawing and crashing trees that woke Eda up early in the morning in late August

"What the hell…," she grumbled, dragging herself up and out of her nest and trudging to the window.

Down below several burley witches in construction hats were clearing away a chunk of the forest just forty yards from the house.

"What. The. Hell?" She narrowed her eyes till she spotted Luz standing nearby looking over a large sheet of paper. "Hmm…" Eda hummed to herself.

She scratched her head tiredly and walked down the stairs, grabbing a mug of apple blood before meandering into the yard where the kid was.

"What are you doing?" Eda grouched, making Luz look after her.

"Oh, hey, mom." Luz smiled at her, but it lacked its usual perk, making Eda frown. “Overseeing the clearing away of the forest where the house is going to go."

"This early?" Eda scowled, squinting against the harsh rays of the morning sun. “They woke me up…,” she grumbled. “You’re getting your own place and you’re still waking me up…” she mumbled, taking a long drink from her mug.

"It's going to be hot later, we have to do it in the morning. They’re gonna get started on it next week… and it’s 10 am...” Luz sighed. Eda just shrugged as she drank from her mug.

“You’re supposed to be up anyway, you’re going with Amity and Mami dress shopping today aren’t you?” she asked.

“Oh yeah… that’s later though, right?” Luz nodded, looking back down at the paper in her hands. “Whatcha lookin’ at?” Eda peered over at the detailed lines on the paper.

“Their plans for the house the construction coven gave us. We had a meeting with them last week about what we wanted. See, here’s the top and bottom floor and these are the two bathrooms, and these are the rooms.” She pointed to the different boxes on the paper, showing both stories.

“You need five bedrooms for the two of you?” Eda cocked a brow.

“No, but Amity wants a study and I want a kind of workshop/office for my projects, and the other two rooms we’ll just use as guest rooms or storage until… we need them.” She shrugged.

Eda caught on quickly.

“Ahh, already planning on a couple of little witchlings, eh?” she grinned and Luz’s face tinted ever so slightly.

“We’re not even considering talking about it right now, no,” she said with finality. “We both do want kids, someday, so we’re just going to build the rooms now. Mami is the only one talking about babies right now.” Luz rolled her eyes.

“Smart, kid. You can barely keep up with yourself right now,” Eda cackled before taking another drink from her cup and Luz pouted.

“Keep it up and Mami and Lily are gonna be the only grandma’s my future kids have.” Luz stuck out her tongue.

That gave Eda pause, she hadn’t even considered that she would be considered a grandmother to Luz and Amity’s future children. It made a warmth spread in her chest that definitely wasn’t the fermented apple blood in her mug.

When she was quiet for a long moment Luz looked back up at her.

“Mom?” she called making Eda blink before she grinned.

“Pfft, who would teach them how to pickpocket then? You two are pretty good with arson and dismantling governments but you still have fumbling hands, Kid,” Eda chuckled, making Luz roll her eyes even though a grin was pulling at her face.

“Don’t tell Amity that,” she snorted.

“Don’t tell Amity, what?” They both looked up as the woman herself came walking around the house.

“Nothing,” They both said quickly.

“Yeah, that’s not concerning…” Amity smirked as she stopped next to them. “How’s it coming?”

“They’re almost done, they just need to level off the ground, and then we’re gonna call it a day, I gotta head to the market after.” She handed the blueprints to Amity, who looked them over.

“You’re not coming to buy clothes with the rest of us?” Eda turned to her.

“Naw, it’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding and all that.” Luz shrugged.

“You do remember that you are, also, one of the brides, right?” Eda smirked.

“Yeah, but dresses aren’t my style, I’m gonna wear a suit, so Gus and Edric are going with me tomorrow so we can all get our clothes. It’s just easier to treat me like the groom for the planning bits. Lily is gonna come with us though.”

“What, why Lily?” Eda planted a hand on her hip, frowning.

“Cause the three of us need a ‘voice of reason’ to keep us out of trouble.” Luz air quoted, looking at Amity, who smirked but didn’t look up from the blueprints.

“I’m a voice of… yeah, ok, no, good call,” Eda grumbled, taking another drink from her mug.

“I still think it would be fine…” Luz grumbled and that did make Amity lookup.

“The last time the three of you did something alone together you burned down three blocks in Bonesburough.

“It WAS a war…” Luz crossed her arms, pouting. A tree crashed, making Luz jump, her shoulders tense, the other two witches don’t seem to notice.

"Behave tomorrow and we'll see," Amity teased with a coy smile, handing back the blueprints.

"I'm not a child!" Luz snapped, snatching them back. Eda and Amity blinked at her in surprise. Eda's face turned concerned, but it was Amity’s that morphed into unconcealed hurt, and Luz frowned, hunching and turning to look anywhere but her fiancée's hurt face.

“Sorry, I’m sorry… it’s just…” her hands clenched on the paper and her eyes turned back to all the cacophonous noise the construction witches were making that sounded so much louder in Luz’s ears than it would most days. Today, every crash made her flinch and a quiet anxiety she couldn’t explain buzzed under her skin. “I think I’m just having one of… those days…,” she finally admitted, looking at the ground.

Understanding flashed on Amity and Eda’s faces.

Ever since the war, they both had days like this, days where things were just hard. Noises and lights were brighter and louder, made them jump and tense without reason as if waiting for something to jump out at them from around every corner.

She wasn’t sure if it was better or worse than the night terrors that sometimes made her sit up in bed screaming, drenched in a cold sweat, and heart hammering against her ribs hard enough that she was afraid it was going to break loose and waking the whole house as memories of bloody and flaming battlefields flashed in her mind.

Amity stepped closer, wrapping an arm around her back and Luz sighed, leaning her head on her shoulder, sinking into the warm, comforting touch.

“It’s okay, Luz,” she murmured into her ear and rubbed her back.

She sighed to herself, these days were becoming farther between the more weeks that stretched between them and the end of what was becoming known as the 'War of Reclamation', but that only made the days that did rear their ugly heads that much harder, made her feel like she was failing, she would be having a perfectly good time out in the market or laying in bed when memory would flash through her mind's eye and make her tense. She would be doing so good, and then one of these days would just smack her out of the blue.

She could tell easily when Amity was feeling it, she would clam up, stay in her own head for hours at a time, despondent. Luz had learned the hard way early on when she was like that that she didn't want to be cheered up, she just wanted to be left to the quiet, she would still want Luz nearby, though. She had figured she just wanted to be alone, so the second first time it had happened she went to the living room, leaving Amity in their bedroom, but Amity had followed shortly after and sat silently next to her on the couch, leaning against her. So when she had her days they just sat quietly next to each other on the couch or laying in bed while Luz read or watched dumb soap operas on the crystal ball, her hand in hers and occasionally squeezing reassuringly.

Luz was different, she would get worked up into a tight ball of anxiety and stress, and when it was bad enough, she needed to be comforted, and held tightly, reminded that it was all really over.

"It's not, I can't take it out on you when I'm… feeling off," she grunted. This was far from having a full-on episode, she knew how those went, she was just tense today.

"I understand though, Luz, you know I do, sometimes it happens..." She kissed her temple and Luz made an agreeing noise. "Maybe you shouldn't go to the market today…," Amity trailed off, running a hand through her hair. Some of the worst fighting in the final days of the war had taken place in the market and if Luz was feeling antsy today that could be a recipe for disaster.

“No, I have a huge batch of orders people are coming to pick up today, I have to be there,” she sighed, standing up straight.

“I can take your stuff, kid,” Eda offered.

“No, you’re going dress shopping with the others, it’s alright, I’ll be fine…” she smiled at them, but they both still looked unsure.

“Are you sure?” Amity frowned, looking down at her, worried.

“Yeah, it’s not bad today, just…” another tree smashed to the ground and Luz visibly flinched and Amity’s grip on her tightened. “... that.”

Amity bit her lip. She wanted to argue, but the fact of the matter was that living day to day with their ghosts from the war was something they just had to do. Letting the horrors of the past suck all the life and joy from their present was never an option, even when it was hard some days, but Luz had developed a habit of throwing herself into activities when she was having one of these days to try and ignore it. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it had disastrous results by only upping her anxiousness by adding nervous wood to the fire.

She let go of Luz and summoned her staff, Calliban came to life, crawling off the staff and Amity rubbed his head before he flew onto Luz’s shoulders and nuzzled his snout against her cheek, making her grin.

“At least take Calliban with you today? That way I can be with you in a way,” she asks and Luz smiled at her, that soft, loving smile that made warmth spread through her chest whenever it was on her.

“Yeah, I’ll take him with me. He and Mochuelo can keep me company,” she hums, pulling Amity back in close to press a soft kiss to her mouth. “I love you.” Amity wrapped her arms around her shoulders and mumbled the words back to her.

Eda can’t even find it in herself to roll her eyes at the two this morning, only watching them as Calliban curled himself around Luz’s neck.

The fact that the two’s palisman’s were just as attached to the other as their owners never failed to amuse her. Amity had essentially become one of Eda’s pupils over the years, even if she couldn’t really do magic the way she had once been able to, so when the two had graduated, Amity had chosen the same route as Luz had in following in Eda’s footsteps and carving their own staffs rather then accepting ones from the school upon graduation.

She could still remember the long nights they had sat on the living room floor working on them, constantly knicking themselves, in the days leading up to graduation.

“Is it supposed to look like this?” Luz frowned looking at the misshapen blob of wood that was her palisman so far.

Amity looked over and shrugged, still chipping away at her own hunk of wood with the enchanted chisel.

“I guess?”

Luz hummed, looking up at Eda on the couch questioningly.

“How’s this look?” she held it up for her mom to inspect.

“Not bad.” Eda nodded. “Keep working, you just need to focus,” she said, sipping apple blood out of her favorite mug and Luz sighed.

“I’ve never carved wood in my life, how am I supposed to get a palisman out of this?” she grumbled, laying back on the floor.

“The tools are enchanted, all you need to do is work diligently and focus your will into them, will them to create what you want,” Lilith instructed from her place next to Eda, overseeing the process.

“How will it even have magic when I don’t have any?” Luz frowned, wondering, not for the first time if this was a wasted effort.

“The same way I can still use my staff even though I can’t do spells on my own anymore, Kid. A staff carved by hand from the Isles is its own source of power, this wood is from one of the oldest most magical trees on the Isles, it’s been soaking up natural magic for ages. The ones they give you at school you have to power yourself, they're just conduit’s, but yours will have the wild magic of the Isles embedded into it, you’ll be able to use it, trust me.” Eda assured her with a grin. “Have I ever steered you wrong?” she asked with a confident grin.

“Uhhh…,” Luz hesitates and Amity snickers, while Lilith smirks behind her teacup, and Eda’s face drops.

“Don’t answer that, just trust me. You have a gift for drawing on the magic of the Isles, it’ll work.”

“Okay, okay,” she grumbled, sitting back up and picking up her chisel again and it glowed bright orange in her hand as she carefully resumed chipping and carving away the wood.

“So, what animal did you decide on anyway?” She cocks her head, watching the two.

“It’s a secret.” Luz grinned at her, and winked, Eda just smirked at her.

“What about you, Kid?” She turned to Amity.

“A dragon.”

“Ooh, that’s so cool, Amity.” Luz grinned at her and she smiled back.

“An interesting choice, Amity,” Lilith hummed. “Why a dragon?”

“Dragon’s symbolize power and wisdom, I want to be both.” she looked up at the older Clawthorne, who nodded, smiling.

“Oh, they also bring happiness and good luck.” Luz piped up.

“Are you a dragon now?” Amity mumbled, looking at Luz from beneath her lashes with a small grin, Luz pinked but grinned back.

“I can be your dragon.” she wagged her eyebrows, making Amity giggle but it was drowned out by Eda’s disgusted groan.

“If you two are just gonna flirt, you can work in your room with the door closed where I don’t have to watch,” she told both eighteen-year-olds, with a dead-eyed frown.

“No, no, we’re done,” Luz promised and Eda pretended not to see the wink she threw her girlfriend and rolled her eyes.

These two made her so tired some days with their love that she found both endearing and disgusting in almost equal measure.

The two continued to work on their carvings under the two sisters’ watchful eyes, Amity’s had definitely started to take shape. She shucked off another wood chip when suddenly the wood began to glow and floated above her hands as the wood began to flake away like paper before a perfectly carved dragon with a serpentine body and two stick-like horns dropped into her hand. The wood rippled and turned to flesh, the grain turning to golden scales and a blue mane of fur that ringed it’s head and traveled down it’s back to a tuft of blue hair on the tip of its tail. It’s two long whiskers twitched as it looked up at Amity with bright blue eyes that matched the hair of its mane. Luz squealed in excitement.

“Oh…” Amity stared in awe at the creature sitting wrapped around her palm, his tiny claws poking her skin.

“It’s waiting, Kid,” Eda told her with a grin.

“For what?” she looked up at Eda.

“For you to give ‘em a name.”

Amity turned back to the creature still looking at her, its head tilted as if in question. Amity chewed her lip thoughtfully.

“Calliban,” she finally said and the creature seemed to huff, smoke puffing out of his nostrils as he wrapped himself around her fingers.

“He’s so cute!” Luz squealed, scooting closer to look at the little dragon.

She held her hand up to Luz to better see him. the dragon looked at her before uncurling himself from Amity’s hand and flying over to land on her wrist.

He quickly crawled into Luz’s hand, tail wrapping around her thumb, and Luz bit down on another excited sound as she reached up with her other hand to run her fingers over his scaly body.

“I think he likes me!” She grinned.

“That’s no surprise,” Lilith chuckled from the couch. “A palisman is intrinsically attached to their owner. He can easily pick up on Amity’s... affectionate feelings for you.” she smiled and Luz turned her wide, starry gaze to Amity who just smiled, cheeks pink.

She returned Calliban to Amity’s hand and picked up her own still forming palisman with renewed vigor as the other three watched her chip away at it, tongue poking out of her mouth in concentration.

Within a few minutes, the process was repeated as the wood glowed and bits of extra wood fell away to reveal a dark brown and white spotted owl that sat on her arm and hooted quietly at her.

Eda blinked at the creature with wide eyes and tried her damndest not to get choked up as the creature flapped its wings. She feels Lilith’s hand on her shoulder give a comforting squeeze.

“Ay, que lindo!” Luz bounced excitedly.

“It’s adorable, Luz.” Amity leaned forward, Calliban nestled around her neck, watching the other palisman with slitted, blue eyes.

“I’m gonna call you… Mochuelo!” she declared and the palisman hooted, fluffing himself happily.

“Little owl?” Amity had to think for a second.

“Yeah! My owlet!” Luz nuzzled Mochuelo to her face and he hooted happily. Amity wanted to reach out and pet the owl but knew well enough that palisman’s were special things, almost sacred to their owners, and had a will of their own. She would need to wait until Luz offered or Mochuelo came to her.

Which didn’t take long.

Suddenly the owl’s head spun around on his body and he blinked his large golden-brown eyes at her before flapping his wings and gliding over to land on Amity’s arm. He hooted at her softly, large eyes blinking at her in silent request and she smiled, reaching up to pet his downy soft head, his eyes blinked closed at her touch, chirping. Luz pressed her fists to her cheeks and was grinning so hard it looked painful as she bit down on her happy noises.

“He likes Amity, no surprise there,” Eda snorted, watching the two play with their palisman’s.

What Lily said was true, a palisman could easily read your feelings for someone else, but that didn’t necessarily mean they mirrored them. Your Palisman was linked to you and you alone, she’d go so far as to say to your very soul, but they still had independent wills. The fact that the kids’ palisman’s already seemed just as attached to the other as their owners spoke of something much, much stronger between the two then ‘affectionate feelings’.

She glanced at Lilith who looked back knowingly, but neither said anything. Something to talk about another day.

“I’m going to go pick up your mother. Eda, we’ll meet you when we get back and head to town to meet the other’s.” she turned to her when she and Luz were finally done playing kissy face.

“Sounds good to me,” Eda yawned and turned to go back inside and change.

“Are you sure you’re okay going to the human world by yourself? I can get Mami” Luz looked at her as she spun a finger to make her ears appear rounded.

“I’ll be fine, your mother lives down the street from the portal, I’ll manage, you finish overseeing this.” she nods to the construction coven leveling off the ground for their house.

“Alright… just be careful.”

Normally Amity would roll her eyes, but she can see in her eyes how antsy Luz is today, so she only nods and kisses her cheek.

“I’ll be fine, querida, just wait here.”

“Okay.” She nodded. With that, Amity walked over to the portal door and Luz watched her until she disappeared. She didn’t like Amity going to a strange world she’d been to once on her own but she needed to finish this and it really wasn’t far. Amity could take care of herself

She took a deep breath and reached up to run her fingers over Calliban’s smooth scaled body and silky fur. His presence always did have a way of making her feel tethered to Amity even when she wasn’t there.

The construction coven was rolling the last of the trees away, thumping loudly on the ground.

There was a low, quiet, nervous buzzing under her skin, one of the tell-tale signs that she was having one of those days. Calliban growled lowly, pressing his body into her hand and she smiled, scratching his horned head as he tried to comfort her.

“Thanks, buddy.”

It was only twenty minutes, at max, before the portal door opened and Amity came walking back through with her mother as Luz waved at the retreating construction coven witches.

“Hola, Mami.” Luz grinned as she walked up to them and hugged her mother.

“Oh, is that where the house is going?” she asked once she pulled back and looked at the freshly cleared and flattened space of forest a stone's throw away from the owl house.

“Yup, they’re starting next week. Actually, it’s only gonna take a week, they sent us all their best builders.” Luz grinned.

“We still haven’t decided if we should move in early or wait till after the wedding like we told Eda we would,” Amity added.

“We still need to get furniture, a new bed, forks… spoons… well, everything really.” Luz chuckled.

“Well, I know what I need to get you as wedding gifts then.” Camila smiled.

“We don’t need anything from you, Camila.” Amity waved a hand.

“Nonsense, Carino!” Camila waved a hand.

“I mean… we could use some towels… or plates…” Luz said, Amity looked at her and she shrugged. Camila could only laugh at the two as Eda emerged from the house

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road!” Eda announced as she walked out of the house. “Oh, hey, Cam," Eda greeted.

"Buenos días, Eda."

Amity and Luz shared a confused look at that before Amity just shrugged.

"Since the construction coven left, I guess I'll go ahead and head to the market.

"You're not coming, Mija?"

"No, I'm gonna get my suit tomorrow with the guys," Luz called as she disappeared inside the house and appeared a few minutes later with her staff and a large bundle of potions hanging from it.

"Welp, me and the boys are off!"

"The boys?" Camila asked.

"Yeah, Calliban and Mochuelo!" She held up her staff and the tawny owl palisman came to life, fluttering his wings as he settled himself on Luz’s shoulder. Calliban popped his head up from around her neck. Camila ‘oohed’ at the small creatures.

“Amity and mine’s palisman’s respectively.” she smiled as her mother looked with wide eyes at the two magical creatures.

“What’s a palisman?” Camila asked.

“I’ll explain it to ya on the way to town,” Eda slapped a hand on her shoulder as she held up her own staff and Owlbert came to life, hooting at them.

“Right, I gotta get going.” She held up her staff and Mochuelo returned to the top, turning back to wood before she hopped on, floating off the ground.

“Hold on.” Amity stopped her, hand on her arm. “Promise me you’ll take it easy today,” she mumbled so only Luz could hear her.

“I’ll try…,” she answered honestly and Amity pursed her lips but nodded, at least her answer was honest.

“Don’t worry about me, mi amor.” Luz kissed her cheek. “See ya later, Mami, mom,” Luz called as she flew off towards town before Amity could say she was going to worry about her either way.

The flight to town usually helped Luz relax but today the roaring of the wind in her ears was too much and she almost stopped halfway to walk the rest of the way to the market. She frowned to herself, she hated feeling like this, just being constantly on edge and for no reason, but she couldn’t get her body to relax. Her anxious energy buzzed under her skin, quiet, but constant.

Luz managed to keep the buzzing quiet though as she set up her stand, Mouchelo hopped around on her stand, hooting at every passerby as Calliban sat on her shoulder, his whiskers twitching and occasionally huffing out a puff of smoke from his nostrils, his constant weight around her neck was reassuring, grounding, like Amity's arms wrapped around her neck, as comforting as it was though, she knew it could never quiet it completely, so she contented herself with selling her potions, busying herself with the hustle and bustle that always accompanied the market.

#the owl house #Lumity #Luz Noceda #Amity Blight #Eda Clawthorne #Lilith Clawthorne #Camila Noceda #gay #fic #toh

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